#why do i encounter the weirdest people at work

[littlepup93]

Right, so I work in the bakery section of a grocery store, and sometimes I have the weirdest encounters.

Just last night, while I was cleaning up, a guy came up with his grocery cart, and sitting in that cart is a baby bouncing and patting at the handle bar. A woman, who I'm pretty sure was his partner, stepped off to look at toaster naan. He asked me, "Hey, do you guys still have the Rumplestiltskin Special?"

I lowered the bottle of cleaner, confused, and asked what he just said.

He repeated the question, and I heard it right. The Rumplestiltskin Special. My confusion only grew.

With an awkward laugh, I asked, "What, are we bargaining on first borns?"

He asked, even more seriously, "No, the Rumplestiltskin Special. Do you guys still do it?"

At this point, I didn't know what to say, and he asked if I had any idea what he was talking about. I said no.

He stood his head and said as he pushed his cart away, "I guess it was before your time."

For the rest of the night, I kept running this interaction over in my head. My coworker in the neighboring department thinks he was messing with me, and he probably was. But like, he didn't look that much older than me, and I've been at this job for a couple of years. I can’t begin to wrap my head around what a Rumplestiltskin Special is.

[greenglowinspooks]

To be honest. DCxDP where the reason Danny meets the bats is Ace the Bat-hound

Like, just think about it for a second. Danny is in Gotham for college, or maybe he just moved out to find a city where having mad scientist parents isn’t actually that unusual.

He can see ghosts.

The ghosts know this.

Now he’s getting harassed left and right by spirits trying to get closure. Fine, whatever, most of them are a one-and-done type deal, and the amount of ghosts trying to get his help steadily decreases.

Except for this one very stubborn dog.

It just keeps showing up and leading him to crime scenes! He doesn’t know how many “anonymous tips” he can call in to the cops before they trace his phone! And this dog, this incredibly good boy, will not stop trying to help the city. He’s never met anyone with such a strong sense of justice, let alone a dog. Can dogs even have a moral compass?

And so Danny just accepts the fact that Ace isn’t going anywhere and becomes his reluctant sidekick/dedicated medium. He leans into the whole thing, dressing up in a mix of traditional magic-user attire and accessories that pay homage to the ghost dog.

He becomes somewhat well known. The psychopomp detective following around the shadowy figure of a German Shepard? That’s unusual! That’s weird! I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing in Gotham, sure, but he’s a new vigilante and he’s got a ghost dog that people can only see when it’s around him. Someone’s gonna notice.

Damian, as Robin, is the first to reach out to him.

Ace doesn’t know Damian but he does know a Robin, and while this isn’t his Robin, he’s still friendlier than usual. Danny’s panicking because oh god the bats are here and also is this kid gonna steal my ghost dog, Damian is absolutely delighted by Ace, and Ace is just happy to see a Robin again.

Damian decides that the psychopomp isn’t a danger to anyone, and there’s no reason to put this encounter into his reports, really, and perhaps Danny can help with some of his cases in the future.

Danny is sweating bullets because Damian basically tells him that he’ll keep him secret as long as he gets to play with Ace. Ace is happy that he’s finally getting some bat affiliated crime-fighting assistance.

And so, Danny is now both Ace AND Damian’s reluctant assistant. At least whenever he’s in trouble, he can always call a middle schooler to help him.

(Is Robin even in school? He’s out patrolling damn near every night, and he stays out late as hell. Does he have a bedtime? He should.)

Eventually it gets to the point where Damian is going over to Danny’s house. When he first sees it, he has a damn bitch you live like this moment, to which Danny responds that not everyone has the money to afford a nice place. Damian counters that he could at least take the time to clean up, and Danny replies that he’s working, going to school, and being a vigilante assistant to a ghost dog, something’s got to give.

Danny nearly has a heart attack when he checks his bank account the next day and sees that someone transferred him 10,000 dollars.

And so they get into a routine. Danny and Damian fight crime with Ace at night, and occasionally Damian stops by during the day to play with Ace and have Danny help with his homework.

(Damian is smart enough to do it on his own, but some of the instructions are written incredibly confusingly, and he would never admit to needing help to his family. Danny is just glad that the kid is in school and cares about his education, blissfully unaware that he’s basically emotionally adopted him.)

Damian is used to being in Danny’s company.

Eventually, when going over a case with the family, Damian absentmindedly remarks that he’ll have to ask Danny about some of the clues that they might be missing. Nightwing asks who he means and Damian makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon.

Cue shitstorm.

Who is “Danny?” Why is Damian willing to ask for help from anyone, much less someone outside of the family? Does he know who Damian is? Has Damian been compromised? What the hell is going on?

Damian now has to explain that Danny is the psychopomp with the ghost dog who he might have met hunted down while on patrol and conveniently not mentioned, but he’s not a bad person, really, and he lets him play with Ace, and he’s been quite helpful on certain cases due to his ability to talk to ghosts.

Bruce insists that the family meet Danny. Damian, hoping that he won’t just skip town the second he hears the news, relents.

Danny is surprisingly eager to meet the bats, considering his earlier fears.

Damian, blissfully unaware of what’s coming, sets a time and place to meet.

Once everyone is there, he gives Bruce the earful of a lifetime.

Robin is in middle school! Danny knows that there’s no way to stop the boy from going on patrol, but you could at least shift his schedule so he gets enough sleep on school nights! Does the Bat even know where he is half the time?! (No) And why isn’t he comfortable asking his family for help with both cases and homework? Did they ever even notice how much time he was spending at Danny’s house? If Danny was a bad person, he could have seriously hurt the poor boy! Shame on you!

Nightwing is mortified that Damian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about any of this. Red Hood is laughing his ass off, because yeah Danny is making good points but he’s also chewing out the literal Batman. Tim is recording the whole thing. Steph is delighted by the absolute gall of this Danger Twink™️, and already planning to add him to several groupchats. Damian is more embarrassed than he’s ever been in his entire life.

You, he points to Nightwing, did your academic life feel supported when you were a Robin? Nightwing is too stunned to speak. Red Hood, eternal shit-stirrer, says that oh, we all prioritized patrol over our education, that’s just how it is. Red Robin actually dropped out of high school to avoid distractions, did you know that?

Danny honest-to-god shrieks at this.

He finishes his angry rant and leaves, everyone too stunned to stop him.

And as it turns out, Tim wasn’t the only person recording the whole thing.

The entire internet is blowing up with Psychopomp The Danger Twink™️’s rant. People are taking sides. Things are getting messy. Red Hood literally admitting on-camera to previously being a Robin is somehow not the main focus here.

Eventually someone connects some dots from the video, as well as stories circling the internet about the psychopomp. A ghost dog named Ace, who is the literal only reason that the psychopomp is fighting crime at all, which seems incredibly fond of Nightwing and Robin.

A crime-fighting dog who wants constant attention from both the current and original Robin.

Oh my god, Ace the Bat-hound died and became a crime-fighting ghost.

And, somehow, that’s still not the strangest thing going on in Gotham.

[elodieunderglass]

for the horse asks: appaloosa?

Appaloosa - What's your favorite horse color(s)?

I don’t really have one but I LOVE when horses and ponies are what they’re supposed to be!

I’m also a huge fan of the primitive markings, and general Lascaux cave horse appearance.

So like I wouldn’t say flaxen chestnut is my favorite AT ALL, but the Haflinger!! . yes you are a cobby little horse with a big butt that needs to be a flaxen chestnut!! and everyone understands this. Perfect animal. No need to track changes. Also I do love when a horse has a bit of texture in their mane and tail, so respect to Haflingers for being the rare wavy-haired horsie. I don’t even like blondes so you see what I mean here about it just being the pure synergy of intention and form and style, the Haflinger just is perfectly complete.

And then a brunblakk fjord horse. The mealy muzzle. The dorsal stripe. Black ear tips. Someone from 20,000 years ago is grasping my hand across space and time and we are crying together about how perfect a thick little horsie can get. Granted the fjords always have the weirdest haircuts in the world, but you can see exactly why. This horse is so perfectly what it’s supposed to be that you can’t resist scrungling it a little bit. Also another animal that IS its name like: all Norwegian Fjords LOOK like the breed name is Norwegian Fjord, and they ARE all named things like Freya. As they should be. This is an animal that is exactly what it should be.

You know how horse people compliment each other’s horses by saying they have a kind eye? It’s hard not to have a Kind Eye if you are a brunblakk Norwegian Fjord.

And of course, my baby, my darling, my moorland mousie, the feral shaggy brown/bay with mealy markings that is the Exmoor Pony. You look at this tubby beastie and you say YES. YES YOU ARE BORN TO BE A LITTLE BEASTIE ENCOUNTERED SUDDENLY ON A MISTY MOOR . The sculpting of the contour colours! Some sculpture artist would spend hours with an airbrush trying to do that! and they just wake up in the morning , eyeliner: on, eyeshadow: on, lipstick: on, cheeks: contoured, muzzle: mealy, dapples subtle, ready to go. Can’t even see their eyes half the time, but underneath 25 pounds of luscious pelted mane they’re wearing natural mascara. And for what? Living full time on rocks in the rain, baby!! This is a cave painting horse and it always will be!

The reverse of that of course is horses who Shouldn’t Be That Color. For example I am a little bit upset by this chestnut Shire, who isn’t a flaxen chestnut and probably should be. What are you doing baby? You need some leg markings sweetheart. Can we just dye your mane and tail black maybe, you have bay energy. Ughhhhh I’m trying not to be prescriptive. Ughhhh all horses are beautiful and beauty standards are fake but ———— - sweet child we HAVE to style you somehow!!!! You are a Shire!!!!! WHAT IS THIS??

And I love - LOVE! - a grulla/grullo. Obvious reasons: I like primitive markings, and I have the aesthetic taste of a small child. Who doesn’t secretly love a deviantart sparklehorse?

but I will be the first to admit that it is a razor’s edge between a really lovely grulla horse who reaches back to touch our shared history and knowledge of ourselves, an unbroken thread of beauty that should be painted in a cave under an ancient mountain, like a jewel of the earth: and a necromantic vessel that was bred to encourage possession by evil ghosts, to be harvested regularly and sold at retail prices by some midwestern white woman as part of some tortuous work-from-home scheme. And I do understand this. I know this about myself and about grullas. Like, this one is a horse that probably shouldn’t - we probably shouldn’t have done this. You know?

Do not ask about cremellos.

[another-goblin]

2.6 Spoilers

Oh really? Because that's literally the opposite of what he did the last time we saw him. He's canonically a character who shot a kid in the face and then run away from the IPC. 

We saw him shoot more kids than "IPC lackeys." And we saw Luka fight more "IPC lackeys" than Boothill did.

Are the writers mocking us? Are they deliberately bringing our attention to it?

I'm sorry, but I still don't understand what the writers are doing with Boothill. I mean, is it a thing now? Is it a running joke at the expense of a good character? Him talking about how he hates the IPC to then do nothing about them when the chance arises?

We can discuss whether death threats and being shot in the face is a valid way to help a teen suffering from a severe mental disorder, but the fact remains—the only person we saw him actually shoot (by the moment of that dialogue) was an innocent kid. And of all the IPC people we saw him meet this far, he became friends with one high-ranking executive, ignored two other high-ranking executives and their goons, nonlethally incapacitated a couple of bodyguards, and just ran away from some IPC cops. 

Somebody might object: he's a weird guy, but he's smart and savvy in his own way. Just attacking all the IPC people he meets wouldn't benefit him; he wants to get that one particular guy who's responsible for his tragic backstory. Except that's not what he said in the dialog I posted in the beginning (about killing IPC lakeys). And let's not forget that he destroyed Luka's pristhetic arm just for having an IPC logo on it (not because Luka's a fan of the IPC but because Topaz kind of manipulated him into getting this prosthetic). BTW, despite being enhanced, it's still a prosthetic. For the arm Luka lost protecting a child from monsters. Boothill showed more hatred towards Luka's prosthetic than towards any IPC pesron we saw him encounter so far.

Is it because he's a popular character and the writers feel that the fans wouldn't notice the sloppy writing?

The weirdest thing is that the game kind of admits that him shooting Luka was the wrong thing to do. He gets scolded by Argenti, admits that he was wrong, and apologizes to Luka. So is it character development?… Did he just now realize that he should fight the IPC instead of some random kids?

And excuse me, but I'm glad that this quest had two major locations. And there was probably a reason why the screenwriters didn't let Boothill into the university. A trigger-happy man (whom we just saw shooting a kid in the face) armed with a gun running around a school and pulling his gun on innocent students isn't a picture that I need from a lighthearted gatcha game.

(BTW, is a silly little quest about people turning into monkeys and saying "bana" a good time and place to delve into characters' tragic backstories? Especially when one of them is sporting the mother of all wedgies. I mean, Rappa's story is the most grotesquely nightmarish of all we've seen this far, and it explains why she retreated into her imaginary world of Ninjas, but it doesn't work as well as it could when I keep thinking of Borat every time I see her)

[dandylovesturtles]

TMNT AU Propaganda whooo

Hello, I'm back again. With fic this time.

I bingeread all of Call Me Here (I Will Appear) by @callmehere-iwillappear a little while back and it's so good! So heartbreaking but so heartwarming at the same time! And with both IMBI and CMH both being in the @tmntaucompetition we decided they are ghost buddies, and then they drew this adorable artwork and I had to write a little something because listen I need good things to happen to both of these boys.

So here you go! And please vote for both I May Be Invisible and Call Me Here in the TMNT AU polls tomorrow!

(And also 2 Arms Left, those boys aren't really in this fic but listen if you vote for both IMBI and 2AL then Ell and I will face off in the next round please it's so funny-)

cough ANYWAY HERE'S THE DRABBLE OK BYE (spoilers for both fics within)

Was getting abruptly kidnapped to an interdimensional sports tournament the weirdest thing that had ever happened to them? Hard to say, but it was certainly a surprise anyway. Right in the middle of Leo's very dramatic catatonia arc, too...

The place is a madhouse. There's so many different versions of himself and his brothers, some of them older, some of them missing limbs, and some of them from different universes entirely. There's cheerleading. There's fighting. There's an older Michelangelo giving all the visible Leos bats for some reason.

Leo guesses he shouldn't be too disappointed that even in this crowd, only his own specific brothers can interact with him; he hasn't had dramatic life-saving encounters with any of these other people, after all. He keeps getting walked through, talked over, and he can't very well take part in the actual basketball playing.

But it's fine! He can vibe! He's so cool with vibing. His brothers seem to be enjoying themselves, after all, and Pizza Supreme knows after the weeks they've been having they deserve something fun and... probably not life-threatening (he's still eying those bats, though). So he can just... watch. Spectate.

So fun.

He's standing by while Raph chats with a whole group of assorted Raphs, surveying the diverse crowd when it happens.

His eyes lock with another Leo's.

The other Leo seems just as startled as he is to be seen - his mouth pops open in surprise, posture going stiff in a mirror of Leo's own reaction. Other than that, there's no immediate signs; he's not see-through, or floating, or anything else one might expect. The only immediate difference he can see is that the three clones of his brothers standing near the other Leo are all wearing their own version of Donnie's goggles.

And yet, he still knows.

"Hey, I'm going over there for a sec," he says over his shoulder to Raph.

"What? Hey, don't wander off!"

"It's fine, big guy, I'll stay in range."

He trots off across the court, not bothering to dodge anyone who steps in his path. The other Leo and his group aren't too far away, and once he gets there, the two of them look each other up and down, like wary dogs unsure about entering another's space.

He gives the other Leo a very serious look, which is mirrored back to him.

And the other Leo starts them off.

"What's a ghost's favorite fruit?"

"Booberries. What's a ghost's favorite car?"

"A Boo-gatti. Why don't ghosts go out in the rain?"

It dampens their spirits. What-"

"Who are you talking to?" the other Donnie asks, turning their way. He has his goggles pulled down. Leo gives him a wave, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Just another Leo," says the other Leo, before turning back to him. "You can't be seen by the goggles?"

"Nope. That hasn't worked for us."

"But I saw you say something to your Raph."

"Yeah! Raph can hear me, Mikey can see me, and Donnie can touch me."

"Huh. Sounds inconvenient!"

"Oh, it is." Leo shrugs. "Curses, man, what can you do?"

Something quick passes over the other Leo's face; he only notices because it's so like his own. "You were cursed?"

"Yep! Some bad guy thought it would be a good way to get rid of me. You?"

The other Leo's smile droops only slightly. "...Do you know about the Prison Dimension?"

Leo's own smile drops, and he hunches in on himself, which just makes the other Leo's grin slip further. It hurts; he was there, for real, and again too recently in his mind, and now he can say this with certainty, with clarity:

No Leo deserved that.

But this Leo, who has persisted after death, who's with his family now... even if it's a tragedy, Leo can admire that. And they can see him - they can apparently hear him, and Leo knows from experience that that's everything.

(And still not quite enough.)

"...That sucks," he says, because what else do you say?

The other Leo shrugs, looking a little self-conscious. "It's not too bad. Donnie's making me a body."

"Oh, that'll be sweet." Leo picks his grin back up. "Wait, can you actually touch stuff? Are you going to haunt a robot?"

"I can if I focus." He looks smug. "It takes practice, but I'm getting better."

"Whoa, nice. I can't touch anything other than Donnie. Can't float or anything, either."

"Me either!" The other Leo throws his arms up dramatically. "What a ripoff, right?"

Leo matches the movement. "That's what I've been saying!"

"Man. It's nice to finally talk to someone who understands."

"Heh, same here," says Leo. He reaches out to give the other Leo a friendly pat on the shoulder.

He expects his hand to just pass through. He doesn't expect it to connect.

It's not really feeling, not like when he touches Donnie. It's more like when he touches his own body - his hand stops moving through the air, but he's not getting any tactile sensation from it.

He doubts the other Leo can really feel it either, but the way his eyes latch on the point of contact tells Leo everything he needs to know.

He doesn't hesitate, just wraps his arm around the other Leo and pulls him in for a hug. He doesn't resist, just puts his own arms around Leo, and he can't feel it but he's pretty sure he's holding tight.

He doesn't ask how long it's been since he's been hugged; he feels like he doesn't have to.

They stay that way almost a minute (and he's glad for their reputation as Leos that no one can see them), before the other Leo pulls back. His eyes are glassy and his smile wavering, but it's real and it's there, and Leo can't help but smile back.

He decides to save them before this gets too mushy.

"Hey, you said you can touch things, right?"

"If I focus."

"Well!" Leo moves so his arm is draped around the other Leo's shoulders, walking him toward one of the goals. "Get ready to focus on making sick dunks."

Instantly, the other Leo's eyes light up with delight. "Ooooh ho ho ho yes. We are going to freak some people out!"

He offers his fist, and Leo gleefully bumps it.

[creature-wizard]

https://youtu.be/U8NNHmV3QPw?si=6aInyR5QVTAT3z0R Watch if you're bored but you might be surprised 🤷🏻‍♀️.

It's about spirit science

GHJKSD when you said this video was about Spirit Science, I thought you were gonna like, link to a video talking about how the Spirit Science guy Jordan Duchnycz is a rapist or his weird obsession with Emma Watson or his antisemitic claim that Jews come from another planet. I didn't expect you were going to link to like, an actual Spirit Science video.

In brief, what Jordan's putting out here is straight-up baloney. A lot of it's pretty bog-standard New Age pseudohistory based on unsubstantiated conjecture, misinterpretation of various mythological traditions, and shit somebody just pulled straight from their ass. Not only is there no actual evidence to support any of the stuff he's putting out there, the actual evidence we do have inevitably precludes it.

Here are some links that explain why and how we know that people like Jordan are just wrong:

The Sirius Mystery: did the Dogon know about Sirius B?

The Truth About Atlantis

Atlantis @ Bad Archaeology

The Weird Case of Atlantis-Mu in the Madrid Codex

Lemuria, the weirdest continent that never existed

Naacal @ Wikipedia

Close encounters of the racist kind

The Ancient Astronaut Hypothesis Is Racist And Harmful

Zechariah Sitchin @ Bad Archaeology

"The Emerald Tablets of Thoth": A Lovecraftian Plagiarism

Left- vs. Right-Brained: Why the Brain Laterality Myth Persists

Are the Egyptian pyramids aligned with the stars?

Criticisms of Drunvalo Melchizedek @ Wikipedia

Detailed deconstruction of the "face" and pyramids on Mars claims

"Christ" @ Wiktionary

"Allah" @ Wiktionary

Charles Hapgood @ Wikipedia

It’s better light, not worse behaviour, that explains crimes on a full Moon

Sphinx water erosion hypothesis @ Wikipedia

Egyptian Hieroglyphs @ World History Encyclopedia

Predynastic Period in Egypt @ World History Encyclopedia

Sumer @ World History Encyclopedia

Debunking the Myth: The Council of Nicaea and the Formation of the Biblical Canon

First Council of Nicaea @ Encyclopedia Britannica

Did Jesus Go to India? A Modern Gospel Forgery

Also, the fact that Jordan appeals to channeled information is a massive red flag. Channeling is fun and sometimes produces some interesting things, but a source of reliable information it is not.

He also claims that a pole reversal makes the planet start spinning the other way, which is literally not how pole reversals work at all.

And of course, Jason's claim that thirteen powerful families are controlling the world is that general conspiracy theory shit derived from The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, early modern witch panic, and blood libel. The whole thirteen families thing in particular comes from Fritz Springmeier, a far right conspiracy theorist who proudly cites other hateful kooks like Edith Starr Miller and Alexander Hislop and basically claims anything that isn't good wholesome Christian entertainment is actually Satanic programming.

Basically, Jordan Duchnycz is just another New Age conspiracy theorist pushing the same old garbage as loads of others like him.

[annabelle--cane]

You know, I don't think it's so absurd that Georgie could be the same one we already know. Given the final episodes of the fifth season she herself expresses guilt and regret for not having been a more collaborative agent in previous seasons, perhaps that whole we-have-to-hope reasoning didn't click so well with her and perhaps this time she wants to make the real difference. Furthermore, I feel like her potential wasn't used as well in the fifth season (most likely due to the pandemic)? And Jonny seems to be reusing characters that didn't get as much focus in TMA.

Also something interesting to note is that we were never shown the consequences of Melanie lying about being a prophet and the whole cult thing. I wonder if Celia still believes all this bullshit and is helping Georgie (and maybe Melanie and Basira if they're also around) more as a follower than as a friend.

you see, I don't think it's likely that they'd retcon the implied ending of mag 200 of georgie, melanie, basira, rosie, the admiral, and the kids from night street all trying to make it work in some kind of communal arrangement in the post-post-eyepocalypse world, but if celia slipped through somehow then I think it's totally possible other people did as well.

I don't see georgie choosing to leave any of those people behind, especially not melanie, so if it is the georgie prime that we know then she's either here with melanie or here by accident, hence why celia is doing the research she is to see if they can get back.

interesting point about celia maybe still believing what melanie said as a really long drawn out consequence of the lie. currently I'm leaning to the side of "this is a new georgie," but yeah there is maybe still a chance that celia believes georgie's a prophet who has yet to have her awakening or something. wouldn't be the weirdest thing she (or we as the audience) has encountered. I feel like there's a good chance that might have been why she sought georgie out in the new world in the first place, though I'm less convinced by the idea she would still believe it by now.

[bonyfish]

Hey do you guys want to hear the pawn shop story I don't tell because it sounds so fuckin fake? It is, regrettably, the season for it and I've been thinking of it again.

To preface this story with a defense of my honor, this is neither the weirdest nor the most upsetting thing to happen to me while working at the pawn shop. (The clown mask fake robbery probably takes the cake on both counts.) That is to say that in isolation, all elements of this tale are quite mundane to the reality of working at a pawn shop in southern Indiana.

Anyway.

CW: antisemitism, the 2016 election, customer service work

The year is 2016. I'm a couple years out of art school and have been working at a pawn shop in my small city for most of that time. I am a few months out from the event that will mark, in addition to calamity on a national and global scale, the beginning of the dissolution of my relationship with my parents: the election of Donald Trump. I am also beginning to suspect my new coworker Brian (not his real name) might be kind of a sleeper asshole.

Brian and I were at the jewelry counter this day, when this German couple in maybe their mid-40s walked in. They were friendly and in good spirits, and we chatted a bit while they tried on rings. My grandfather was German, and between that and growing up on Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, German and Austrian accents kind of put me at ease. So I liked these two, up until the fellow tried to negotiate the price of a ring down and the lady said, "He's not Jewish, if that's what you're thinking!"

Now this was far from the first time I'd encountered the greedy/thrifty Jew stereotype while working at the pawn shop. As with many unpleasant interactions, my default reaction was to pretend I hadn't noticed the negativity and forge on ahead. So I said something like, "That's too bad, since I'm Jewish and we would've had that in common."

To which the woman replied, laughing, "See, the joke is you're all greedy!"

Typically when I responded to this sort of thing by revealing that I'm Jewish, the other person would become embarrassed and apologize or otherwise end the interaction. Once or twice someone had covered up the awkwardness of the moment by making as many offensive jokes as possible before one of my coworkers took over, but this blithe statement of perceived fact was new. I did not know how to deal with this.

I said, "That is the stereotype, yes."

I'm not sure how she did it conversationally, but from there she segued quite abruptly into talking about how she really likes that Trump fellow, because he "tells it like it is." My coworker was just nodding along, agreeing with her and chatting, while I stood there wondering how I had ended up in this situation and how quickly I could exit it. Even at the time I was marveling at how hamfisted the moment would have been from a narrative perspective, were this a story and not my own wretched weekday morning. I mean, they were even German, for fuckssake. I hate the punchline/stereotype of all Germans being Nazis because, as I mentioned, my grandfather and his family were German Jews, and I feel like that stereotype erases those people while simultaneously letting actual Nazi Germans off the hook for their own choices. But here I am listening to this conversation and realizing that now I have this story I can't tell because it's too damn stupid.

Presently they left, and I tried to see if Brian had made any sort of connection between these people insulting me to my face and then endorsing this particular candidate, but of course he saw nothing wrong with the interaction. This marked the decline of any fellow-feeling I had towards him as a coworker. Another coworker later told me that Brian "didnt believe" in gay people, which explained why he couldn't work the register-- I trained him, and since I don't actually exist, there's no way he could've learned to do his job properly.

Anyway that's my story. A year or so later I quit with no prospects because having to play nice with people who I knew voted for Trump was making me crazy. Next time I'll tell a more fun story, like the one about all the cockroaches, or the other one about all the cockroaches.

[thunderstroked]

Three's Company || Mona, Inge & Felix

TIMING: current. LOCATION: the common. PARTIES: @nightmaretist @recoveringdreamer & @thunderstroked SUMMARY: inge and felix go looking for their friend (separately) and find her this time! CONTENT: none.

It had been a month since Mona responded to any of Felix’s messages. She hadn’t been by their apartment — at least, not when they’d been there, and Luci would have mentioned if she’d come by now that they were gone — and they’d been to her shop and her apartment a few times, too, and found both empty. Nothing about it felt good. Mona wouldn’t disappear without telling them, wouldn’t vanish without a word. And the timing was suspicious, too. She’d vanished just a few days after Felix’s last encounter with the shrult, and that had to mean something. Wasn’t the answer obvious? Felix was no detective, but they could put two and two together when they tried.

So… they’d been investigating. It wasn’t exactly easy. They’d combed the beach for hours last week, searching for shrimp who might know something. They’d bought a book from a guy on Amity Road after their third unsuccessful interrogation, one that promised to teach them to better communicate with the shrimp who they were sure must have known something. They’d followed the cultist who approached them and Wren at the park, tried to determine if he was in on it. They’d done everything they knew to do, and they still felt no closer to finding out where their friend was, or if she was okay, or if she was alive. It reminded them of those hours between their mother’s disappearance and the confirmation of her death, like they were just… waiting patiently for the sky to fall. It was their least favorite feeling.

They’d rather be active. They’d rather be searching, even if they were bad at it. They weren’t sure what they even hoped to find at the shop they’d entered now, only that they were desperate to find something. And maybe… Maybe everyone got lucky, sooner or later. Maybe it was statistically impossible not to. Either way, there was a rush of relief when they happened to be in the right place at the right time to overhear the right conversation. They shifted their inner ear the moment the word fox was mentioned, focusing everything they had on eavesdropping.

“ — telling you, man, it was a fox. Weirdest fuckin’ one I ever seen. All blue and shit, dude, it was messed up.” 

“And it was just runnin’ through the Common?”

“Yeah. Woulda shot it, but they don’t like people havin’ weapons out there.”

“Probably go into the woods later. We can find it then, try to —” 

Felix had heard enough. Listening any more would only make them uncomfortable, so they focused on what they’d learned. A fox in the Common. They could work with that.

—

Mona and Inge’s friendship was similar to plenty of others she had with fellow immortals or long-lived species. Most of them didn’t stay around one place for too long, after all, and yet with most of them she’d cross paths at one point or another. So too it had been with Mona, who had shown up in Wicked’s Rest by sheer luck and had returned to her life as if they had never been apart. But even though their friendship was one of absences and presences, it wasn’t like Mona to ghost her. To leave her sitting at a restaurant and not text with an apology or excuse, to completely vanish in thin air.

As this was Wicked’s Rest, there were plenty of reasons as to why Mona could have disappeared. Hunters, of course. There were plenty of shitty ones around and Inge wore the scars to prove it. There were ghosts who could cover people in goo. There were sky quakes and cults and banshees who threatened to cut off your fingers. For someone who made people afraid to go asleep as there might be danger lurking in their REM sleep, Inge was starting to ironically see danger in every corner.

Mona’s shop was abandoned. Her phone went to voicemail. Inge looked at her home from the astral and saw no traces of having left impulsively, but no traces of Mona having been around either. Something smelled bad in the fridge, so she threw it out and left a sticky note on the fridge. Inge was starting to believe the worst.

And then there were her students, of course. Those young adults with not fully formed brains who gossiped so loud that any and all teacher could hear it too. Most of the times she ate it up, but when their conversation steered towards a blue fox in the Common, she halted. It took all her power to not shake the students at the shoulders and tell her all they knew. In stead, Inge dismissed her class, told them all something vague about letting the, “Muse take you where it takes you!” and ventured out.

She was entering the common where her eyes fell on another familiar face. Luckily it was a harmless one. It was Felix, who she had lied to about the chair, the vacuum and her mother. She paid them little to no mind and attempted to hurry past them, which was not as easy as she wanted with her back still plaguing her. So, whatever. She turned around. “Hi, Felix. Have you seen any …” Chairs belonging to my young mother? “Weird things? I heard …” You robbed my elderly young mother. “Rumors.”

—

They were moving with a single-minded focus, trying to get somewhere secluded enough to allow them to shift to the point of picking up on sounds and scents they might otherwise miss. The Common was crowded, because it always was, but if Felix could get off somewhere by themself… It wasn’t hard to pass partial shifts off as something like a costume, sometimes. Even Thea was convinced Felix was little more than a very dedicated furry, despite how many times Felix had attempted to correct her. They could use that to their advantage here. But, in all honesty… they cared less about laying low than they should have. More than anything, they just wanted to find Mona. More than anything, they wanted her to be okay.

So focused in their journey, they didn’t realize they knew the woman who’d just hurried by them until she turned around. Normally, Felix would have recognized her right away, but with their mind so focused on Mona, it took them a moment before… Right. The lady whose mom’s chair was eaten by the vending machine. Felix felt a little sheepish at seeing her again, shifting their weight and trying to find a way to politely exit the conversation so they could continue on their journey.

“Um… I don’t know. What kind of rumors did you hear? I don’t — I mean, I’m kind of in a hurry. I’m, uh, I’m looking for a fox. A friend! Sorry, I meant I’m looking for a friend. Who I’m meeting. Here. In the Common. I hope your mom is doing okay, by the way. I hope she likes her vacuum.” 

—

She didn’t think Felix would pose a threat to Mona. Inge figured she had a feel for these kinds of things by now — that she could guess what kind of people were hunters and what kind of people weren’t. Felix didn’t seem the type. Nor did they seem the type to be a banshee. So she didn’t quite trust him, but she also didn’t mind asking him for some help rather than any of the unfamiliar faces around them. There was no way that they were a hunter, after all. No possible, feasible way.

And then he said those words — he was looking for a fox. Felix corrected themself quick but Inge stared at them for a moment. “A fox? I’ve heard rumors about a blue one. Right here.” She pressed her lips together, looked around fervently. “My friend … has a blue fox, and she lost it here. It’s an exotic pet, so it’s very important we find it, you know? Maybe while you wait for your friend –” Was there a chance that Felix meant Mona? It’d be some kind of fucking irony if so. “– you can help me?”

She started walking again, eyes scanning the area. She saw a flash of blue but it was just a frisbee. Inge looked at Felix over her shoulder. Her mother, right, “Oh, she’s loving it, don’t worry. She’s also worried about my friend’s pet.”

—

At first, Felix was hopeful that Inge hadn’t picked up on their slip. But that hope didn’t last very long, didn’t make it past its first breath. Inge picked up on it immediately, called it out right away, and Felix winced at their own clumsiness. They didn’t think there was any danger of outing Mona — they hadn’t even said her name, nor did Inge have any reason to assume that the fox they were looking for was a shapeshifter who also happened to be Felix’s best friend — but they felt guilty all the same. 

But then, Inge continued. She’d heard rumors of a blue fox, and Felix perked up, eyes widening. Her friend had lost a pet — did that mean that was where Mona had been all this time? Had someone found her and kept her as a pet, making it impossible for her to shift back without exposing herself as a shifter? But if that were the case, why wouldn’t she shift back now that she’d presumably escaped them? Anxiety thrummed in the balam’s chest, and they shifted their weight uncertainly.

“Yes,” they agreed. “I’ll help you find your friend’s blue fox! My friend really likes foxes. I bet she’d like to see it. Um, maybe when we find it, I can take it to show her! Before we get it back to your friend.” If they slipped Mona away unseen, she could come back to the boiler room to shift where no one would spot her. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was better than sending her back to be someone’s pet. “I’m glad she’s doing well! Has she… seen the fox? Has your friend shown it to a lot of people?” This could be bad. This could be really bad.

—

Felix seemed to be malleable, Inge thought. They had so easily apologized for their transgressions, even if there had been none — and it had been amusing to her. To watch them squirm as she spoke about her mother as if she was a fully formed person who was alive. It had been cruel, then, but it hadn’t been too bad and more importantly, it now informed her that Felix was someone she could ask for help. They would most likely perish on the spot before saying no.

They were rambling about their friend, which was very confusing considering moments ago they’d confused the word fox and friend. Coincidences existed, but it was a very ironic slip of the tongue. “Yes, sure, we can show it to your friend — who isn’t a fox, just a friend.” She was nodding, as if she was wholly convinced. Inge wasn’t sure what to make of any of it. Then, she tried to convince the other of her story: “No, she does not show it to a lot of people. She’s very careful about her fox.” 

Usually she’d spend a whole lot of time on weaving a convincing and amusing lie, but she was running out of time. Inge started stomping around the Common, boots moving from path to grass from grass to path, eyes scanning the place. She raised her hand, then, pointing at a bench in the distance. “There!” She picked up her pace, hurrying to where she thought to see Mona.

—

“Haha, it would be weird if my friend was a fox! I can’t talk to foxes! I’m human!” Felix felt desperation crawling up, clawing at their throat. They would not out Mona. They would not out themself. They would convince Inge — who seemed nice and stayed home to take care of her mother but was still, ultimately, a stranger — that no part of this equation involved anyone shifting into any kind of animal, because that was ridiculous. (Dangerous, really. That was dangerous.) 

They pressed their tongue against the back of their teeth as Inge spoke about how careful their friend was. “Well, it’s probably illegal to have a pet fox. So that makes sense.” There were laws about all kinds of silly things. Felix wondered if the animal control guy from the internet would get angry about pet foxes if he knew. Maybe that could be how he freed Mona from being someone’s pet, if that was what had happened. 

Or… maybe they wouldn’t need to worry about it. Relief rushed into them like a wave at the sight of a figure on a bench, and they moved towards it almost before Inge had spoken at all. Not a fox, but a person. A familiar person, a person they hadn’t seen in way too long now. Felix practically sprinted to close the distance. “Where did the shrimp go? Did you fight them off?” They were speaking before they’d stopped moving, nervous babbling desperate to fill the silence.

—

All it had taken was eating a flower. Mona had been too stunned to do anything other than stare at the deflated and crushed petals in the palm of her hand. It’d been so long since she felt the sun on the crown of her head. Two months, right? That’s how long it had been? She’d been present for all of it. It shouldn’t have taken that long, and yet, she had been pulled from her daily routines, all because of pollen. Fuck, she hated this town. 

She hated it with every fiber of her being. 

Mona inhaled sharply, crushing the bits of leftover petals in her hand, letting them fall into the ground. The gummy texture from the petals she had eaten (by mistake) was still present on her tongue. She needed water, as well as something real to eat. She leveled her gaze with a number of patrons who shot her questioning looks. Her outfit was the same as the day she had shifted– clean and fresh. The dirt on her skin as well as the weeds and twigs threading through her hair, however, was another thing entirely. 

With a sigh, Mona ran her fingers through her matted hair. 

She looked up as she heard footfalls, and then– a familiar voice. 

Surprise pulled muscles in ways they hadn’t been used in too long and she reached up to rub at her jaw. “Felix? Inge?” It was hilarious, really. The two people she’d been trying to make her way towards had been the ones to find her. 

“The shrimp? No, I got sneezed on by some pollen monster. It made it impossible to not be in gumiho form.” She rose from the bench, legs slightly shaky from the lack of use. Mona moved the rest of her matted hair from her face, shoving it behind her ears. “I tried to find both of you. Well, separately. I didn’t know you were acquainted.” She looked between them, eyebrows furrowing. “It’s been two months. Why have you only found me just– no, that’s not polite. This town is hell. I’m sure there was an apocalypse while I was on all fours.” That had to be the only reason it took so long… right? 

—

Inge was fully and completely taken aback by the situation at hand. Once Felix and her had run up at Mona – who was not a fox at present, so it was perhaps strange in the first place that he they followed so complacently, but she wasn’t thinking about that now – and the other had started asking about shrimps and Mona had recognized them both, she just stood there for a moment.

Really? Mona and Felix knew each other — that was kind of hilarious. A twist of fate that would have to be reexamined later over a bottle of wine (or whatever Felix’ drink of choice was). Inge would have to tell Mona about her lies, though, or come clean about them. But that was later.

She tsk-ed, “Pollen monster?” She’d no idea such things existed, but it made complete and utter sense all the same. “How did you manage to shift back, then?” Inge didn’t wait for a an answer before doing what she should have done earlier. She pulled Mona into a quick hug and gave her another once over when she pulled back, letting her go. “I tried — well, I tried to look for you, but I must have looked in the wrong corners. I kept your fridge clean, though, had to throw out some of your famed cucumber salad.” It wasn’t the most pressing thing, however, so she jumped to a question: “Jesus, are you alright?” Her eyes moved between her and Felix, still getting used to the fact that they were acquainted and that Felix knew about Mona’s shifted form. 

—

Mona knew Inge? Felix realized, somewhat belatedly, that he and Inge had come here with the same goal in mind. There was something almost comical about it, the concept of two people who knew each other only vaguely being unknowingly drawn together by the same unwinnable game. Did Inge know, then, that Mona was a kitsune? Was that why she, too, had spoken of a fox? Felix was filled to the brim with questions, but they didn’t know how to ask any of them. They were transfixed instead, staring at Mona’s matted hair and defeated expression and filled with a guilt that threatened to suffocate them.

They had been looking in the wrong place. All this time, they’d been caught up with the shrimp drama that had happened shortly before Mona’s disappearance, and it wasn’t related at all. And they’d let themself grow distracted in the meantime, let his attention be swallowed up by the Grit Pit and Leo and the boiler room. What had Mona been doing, in all that time? What terrible experiences had she been living? 

“I’ve only met her once,” they said, though they knew that was probably the least important thing about the whole situation. “Um, a vending machine stole her mom’s chair, and I… That’s not important. What happened? Are you okay? Did you…” They didn’t even know what they wanted to ask. She’d looked for them, she said. She’d looked for them. Had she gone to their apartment and found it lacking? The idea made the guilt swirl all the more. “What do you need now? Water? Um, food?”

—

“Pollen monster,” Mona affirmed with a nod of her head. “I’m not certain what happened, or how, but one moment I was upright, and the next I was existing as…” She gestured to herself, allowing her two closest friends to fill in the blanks. “When I arrived at The Common, I stumbled upon a flower. I snapped at it to get a wasp away from me, but instead I ate the flower. Then I shifted back.” It was so surreal to say, and if there were any two different people in front of her, they might not believe her. 

As Inge took her into her arms, Mona sunk into the hug. It was interrupted too quickly, and she let out a soft laugh. “I hope Frederick wasn’t too perplexed by my disappearance.” He was probably grateful for it. What kind of rabbit made friends with a fox, anyway? “I’m fine. It’s just been a long few months is all.” It shouldn’t have taken that long at all, and though it was humiliating, it could have been a lot worse and she knew that. 

Felix’s explanation of how he knew Inge made no sense, but nothing in this town did. Mona didn’t think that Inge even had her mother’s chair with her stateside, so it must have been one of her many ways of poking fun at someone who’d eat up just about any explanation. She gave Inge a pointed look as if to say you’ll need to come clean about that, then reached out to squeeze Felix’s arm. It was clear they were beginning to panic. “I’m fine. A few tussles with a few different hunters. Hence not leading them your way.” That could mean anything to either of them, and while they knew one another, Mona wasn’t certain how well. It wasn’t as if she wanted to out either of them, but Felix had to know something was up with Inge, right? Given the no heartbeat of it all. 

“Food, water– it all sounds fucking wonderful right about now. I’ve been living off of squirrels.” She made a face. It wouldn’t have been the first time, but pouncing on them reminded her of moments with her dad– feelings and memories she’d rather push out. “It was dangerous for me to be around town as much as I wanted to just come and find you. You’re both aware of my…” Mona gestured toward herself with a laugh again, indicating that she meant the fact that she did not resemble just any fox. “But two months– that was too long. I shouldn’t have let fear get to me the way it did. I’m sorry.” 

—

Felix already threw Inge’s lie out there and she saw the look in Mona’s eye. For a moment it was almost like being a child again and being looked at with disapproval by a teacher, but she shook off the comparison and offered her now-human-again friend a mild shrug. It would come later, her confession — but for now her focus was on Mona and Mona alone. “When you think this town can’t surprise you any more … I’m glad you just happened upon that flower, jeez! Did any —” She frowned. Mona seemed unharmed, so the question wasn’t worth asking yet.

“Frederick was more perturbed by my appearance than your lack of,” she said. Even a rabbit was put off by a mare’s presence. She hoped Felix didn’t pick up on her vague statement and moved further: “Gave him some kibble, though.”

She made a face too at the thought of squirrels for a diet. She looked at Felix for a moment, who seemed to be battling an inner monster, and let her gaze drift back to Mona. “Don’t apologize, it’s fine, okay? I mean — it’s not, but you don’t owe us any apology. I am just glad to see you again.” Inge swallowed, her head continuing to circle back to the things she’d assumed. “Thought maybe …” She shook her head. “You’re here now. Let’s get you something to eat, hm? My car isn’t far. We can go somewhere or to yours or mine or …” They glanced at Felix. Theirs? “Wherever you want. What are you craving?”

—-

How lucky had they gotten for Mona to find that flower? Felix didn’t want to think of what could have become of her if she hadn’t. Would she have been trapped as a fox forever? If she’d had run-ins with hunters — something that terrified them just to think about — how long could she really have lasted like that? Eventually, someone would have gotten the better of her. Felix swallowed, trying not to lose themself in the terrifying collection of what ifs that hung over them now. 

They listened as Mona and Inge spoke of Frederick, noting how close the two seemed to be. Wasn’t it strange how Felix had known nothing of their friendship at all, despite knowing them both separately? Wicked’s Rest was a small town but, in moments like this one, it felt so much smaller. It seemed everyone knew everyone in one way or another. Sometimes, it was comforting. Other times, it was terrifying. In this instant, it felt more neutral. 

Nodding in agreement as Inge spoke, Felix offered Mona a watery smile. “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he said earnestly. “I was… really scared.” Felix wasn’t afraid to admit things like this, didn’t feel shame at the fear clawing their gut. His friend had been missing, and it had scared him. She was back now, and they were relieved. It was a simple thing. 

When Inge was looking for a place to take Mona, Felix shook their head. “Um, probably not mine,” they said quickly. “It’s… not important right now, but I can’t… have visitors.” They glanced between the two, shrugging slightly. That wasn’t something they wanted to unpack at the moment. There were far more important things — like Mona and her well being. “But I have snacks in my truck! Or we can go to a restaurant! I can buy food. For both of you!”

—

“I’m a little frustrated at myself. All it took was eating a flower?” If she knew that, she would have taken on the personality of a goat, eating everything in sight. Mona sighed again, this time a little too dramatically. She couldn’t believe that a two month exodus from her human form could be solved by one of nature’s bounties. Then again, she’d been stuck because of it, too. Perhaps nature wasn’t the right word. Maybe it was just this town’s way of poking fun at her.

Mona nodded as Inge went on to explain how Frederick was doing. That made sense. He probably would have preferred her over Inge at that point, but Inge’s presence in the temporary home she had made out of Esther’s studio meant that the rabbit should’ve gotten used to her. Then again, maybe that wasn’t how it worked at all. It’s why when Inge was over, they spent time in a separate room from Frederick. “I appreciate you, as always.” She gave Inge a soft smile before her gaze hovered over Felix who had tears in their eyes. 

She reached out, squeezing his arm. “It was scary at first, then I suppose survival instincts kicked in.” She wasn’t like other shifters and she knew that, but still, she was a fox. She knew how to take care of herself as one. Mona dropped her hand from Felix’s arm before crossing them over her chest. “I’m just grateful it was the two of you I happened upon. Imagine if it’d been the kid who thought I was doing cosplay.” She rolled her eyes, thinking of the moment in the bar and how he’d almost been made a snack. 

It had been awhile since Mona had felt so appreciated. Inge’s suggestions, Felix’s misty eyed gaze. Her chest tightened as she looked at her two closest friends. “We’ll discuss that later,” Mona said in response to Felix’s situation with nobody being allowed over at his home. That didn’t sound right. “I’d like a shower first, if I’m being honest. Then I’ll take the two of you out. How does that sound?” Mona could feel her own set of tears beginning to brim the corners of her eyes– overwhelmed by the love she had for them. “I’ll take a snack on the way, though.” She looked over at Felix with a gentle smile. It felt odd, being this sincere. “But, as for what I’m craving– a burger sounds delightful right about now.” 

[chainmail-butch]

Idk idk idk its late and im not sober butlike. Theres cis butches, nonbinary butches, genderqueer/blur the line butches, transmasc butches... so your blog was the first time I saw transfem btuch talked about and I was like thank fucking god. OF COURSE there's trans women who are btuch this just rounds everything out so nicely and its great. I am so glad theres trans butches in this world and it genuinely makes me feel so much more validated as a transmasc btuch and i love in general when trans women have a funky gender thing going on cuz im just like oh so you're like a girl but not exactly and you're masc but in like a dyke way so what youre saying is you're jsut like me fr. Btw

I also feel weird and torn about your post about trans women treating your gender weirdest cuz I have a freind who transitioned and went stealth years before I met her and she used to be so weird about me being masc like she sent me ARTICLES. Fucking articles about how btucues should wear women's clothes and a bit of makeup so they look better and it was so annoying and when I found out she was trans and came into that during like 2013 I was like ohhhhhh someone had instilled this idea that you must conform to a specific look to be worth having around and you thoguht you were doing me a favor (she grew out of it though so we're gucci, I kinda just called her weird for saying those things so i think she worked thorough it herself) and sometimes the stuff you say reminds me of that idk maybe there's a word for the internalized something or other ?

Sorry if this isn't comprehensible im a little high and I cant read it over because its too many words so sorry have a good night! or morning! Or something I think

Thank you so much for sending this ask, I was going through it last night and this meant a lot to me.

I think a lot of it (gender non-conformity/Issues with masculinity in those who claim womanhood) is rooted in misogyny, and I think the internalized something or other here is internalized Misogyny/Lesbophobia/Transphobia.

A lot of people are visibly upset when a big butch dyke walks onto the scene even if they themselves don't understand why. I think its the same or similar to the gut reaction that people get when they encounter trans women. Which is why, I imagine, your friend thought she was being helpful.

I hope you had a chill night

[manonamora-if]

Ask bomb

Are there any specific technologies or concepts from sci-fi books that you wish existed in the real world?

Do you consider yourself to be a picky eater?

You are given a choice to live in one of the fictional worlds where your games are set in. Which one would you choose and why?

If you were given a budget of 5000$ to upgrade your current house of tech setup, how would you spend it?

What's the most unusual item on your bedside table?

Have you read any of the IF works in chooseyourstory.com? While the forum is filled with unsavory characters, the quality of some of the works is better than most IFs found throughout the community as a whole

What's your favorite conspiracy theory, even if you don't believe it?

If you could have a conversation with your pet and they could understand you for just one minute, what would you say?

If you had a warning label, what would it say?

If aliens visited Earth and you were the first human they encountered, how would you explain our species?

What's the weirdest piece of advice you've ever received that turned out to be surprisingly useful?

What's the most absurd thing you've ever bought on impulse?

If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, which one would you choose and what would you name it?

As a french what are your thoughts on croak shoes and dad hats?

What's your favorite French expression or saying that you think the rest of the world needs to adopt?

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a gold medal in?

😱

omg Anon...

Alright let's see

Teleportation. I hate the getting to places part of travelling. But also... Would it even work? Paris 2119 kinda gave me the ick about it at the same time.

I don't think I am. I'll eat almost anything and try new stuff when I can.

Any of the slice-of-life/like-the-real-world setting. Space is cool but it's too dangerous. Fantasy worlds don't have vaccines and medicine. It's like time travel: go in the past and you'll die of whatever disease is there, or in the future and maybe kill everyone with your bacteria (or was it the other way around? either way...). I'd rather live in a "normal" setting.

Half into a bed and mattress - the one you can bend up to read better. The rest in books and comics. If you give me the 5k in three years, I'll spend it in a gaming computer.

More unused bookmarks than books (I just have books on my bedside table).

I checked out the top rated listing on the main page a while back. Not my thing.

The Dead Internet Theory: the internet died some while back and is just populated by bots only. So we don't interact with people directly but through bots. It's a bit cuckoo. Or Nessie.

I've been told plants and rocks don't count as pets...

Volume not adjustable.

Don't bother, we're unsalvageable.

Touch grass. (go outside, take a walk, breath some fresh air)

Didn't buy, but I keep getting gifted croissant-related things: socks, kitchen towel... and more recently: the plushie. It is amazing. I love it.

The head of Mímir. I think we'd be drinking buddies. Especially if he is like in God of War.

Eh... Let people wear whatever they want.

« Quand le vin est tiré, il faut le boire. » - When the wine is drawn, you must drink it. Or finish your shit.

I am so average at shit, even then I wouldn't win any gold medal. And that's fine :)

[moltengoldveins]

have I mentioned how much being faceblind sucks? Like have I talked about it here? Cause it does. Like, literally nobody knows what it is, or how it works, or why it happens. There’s no research on it, there’s no treatment, no cure. It’s just accepted that I as a person cannot visualize or remember the faces of literally anyone in my life. Other than vague impressions, I cannot tell you what my mother looks like. I cannot remember what I look like. Looking in the mirror kinda freaks me out sometimes cause for a second, im looking at an entirely new face. My friends have to remind me to put facial descriptions into my writing, because I don’t know what my characters’ faces look like. I can usually recognize people, sure, but define recognition? You rarely encounter someone’s face entirely by itself with no context. I memorize wardrobes, hairstyles, hand shapes, postures. But a haircut or a hat can literally prevent me from seeing someone for over three weeks. I sat next to or behind my friend every day in chapel at my college and I literally never saw her. I asked someone where she’d been after three weeks only for them to say “she’s… right there, dude.” She’d dyed her hair brown. The weirdest bit is, I can technically see their faces! Like, when looking at someone, I can see their face. (This is not universal for faceblind people. I’m lucky in that way) but the literal moment I look away, the visual information is gone. I don’t like it. It kinda freaks me out. And there’s… nothing I can do about it. And nobody talks about it.

[barbwritesstuff]

OH HELL YEA I LOVE THE SUPER THEME!!!!

i was raised to be a majorrrr dc girlie and superman was my father's fave hero, so naturally i gravitated a lottttt to (comics) supergirl!!!!

so i gotta ask, is there a specific reason why you're partial to the big man with an 's'??? (and might i add you have exquisite taste hehehe) ♥️

This is actually quite a tough question to answer. I'm not sure I can tell you why Superman is my favourite superhero. I'm not even entirely sure when I decided he was.

I think it's a combination of a lot of different factors.

I like that he's so iconic. The first superhero, and the one all the others are built on or around. It's like Tolkien and medieval fantasy. Superman defined the genre.

I like that he's so relatable. He's working class, form a rural background, is a dorky reporter, has bad fashion sense, and is just earnestly trying to do the right thing.

I like that he turned a generation against the KKK in 1940s.

I like that he wore his underwear on the outside for YEARS and didn't let the bullies get to him about it. You do you, my dude. You do you.

I like that, when he encounters glowing green rocks, he always keels over in the most dramatic way possible. None of this manly 'I will grit my teeth and tough my way through it' bullshit. Straight to the floor in an elaborate swoon. The diva. 10/10. No notes.

I like that he was invented by Jewish immigrants.

I like his sassy wife who climbs into vents to get the scoop on corrupt businessmen (and who Clark clearly adores with all his heart).

I like that there are a bunch of people who know Clark is Superman, but keep his secret, because he's a nice guy, and most people are good and decent.

I like that he has the weirdest silver age stories (eg, alien bug head).

And, of course, I love his unshakable belief in the inherit goodness of humanity.

So, yeah... I like Superman.

[terabyteturtle]

Fighter #04-E - Dark Samus

- This creepy Phazon creature can sneak up behind someone very easily. It’s part of the reason why Samus is so paranoid all the time.

- She somehow found a way to stick to walls and hang from ceilings, which scares the crap out of everyone.

- When she first met Richter, he thought she was a demon and chucked holy water at her. Needless to say, he was very lucky that he escaped with his life that day.

- When she's not wreaking havoc on distant alien planets, Dark Samus has quite a lot of time on her hands. She spends most of her free time reading encyclopedias, studying fighters’ behavior, and building social skills.

- Dark Samus has gotten electrocuted twice trying to fix the circuit breaker during power outages. Electricity doesn’t affect her as much as it would a human though, so she’s okay.

- During her first few weeks at the mansion, Dark Samus didn’t even bother to use doors. Instead, she just blasted her way through the walls and got in a lot of trouble for it.

- Due to her lack of social skills, she has stalker-like tendencies and doesn’t know what personal space is.

- She doesn't really feel much in terms of emotions, so social encounters are always super awkward. She read somewhere that people usually convey strong emotions through physical movements. So, when talking to the other fighters, she tries to do that, but it always ends up being really overexaggerated. For example, when she tries to show happiness, she does a small twirl in the air. Don't get her wrong, she's not doing this in the hope of making friends. She's doing this to gain emotional leverage over people. I think the only emotion she genuinely feels is anger.

- As mentioned before, she spends a lot of time learning about the world around her, but every so often, she gets bored. As much as she loves learning new information, Dark Samus needs to switch it up every now and then. So, she started learning how to do tricks with the Plasma Whip. It’s since become her new favorite thing.

- Isabelle, being the kind soul that she is, tried to teach Dark Samus how to hug. It seemed so innocent and wholesome, until poor Isabelle nearly got her spine crushed. The Phazon warrior didn’t care though, because now she knew another way to manipulate and kill someone.

- Sometimes, she just disappears inside the mansion and no one knows where she is or what she’s doing.

- She also has a habit of sneaking out of the mansion, using clones as stand-ins so nobody knows she’s gone.

- If Dark Samus somehow gets caught sneaking out, she’ll brainwash them into forgetting she was there.

- What the Phazon creature does outside of the mansion is unknown. She could be building a giant death laser, for all anybody knows. 

- The kids originally thought she was some sort of weird ghost, so they tried using Luigi’s Poltergust on her. To their shock and horror, it didn’t work.

- She and Ridley have the weirdest relationship. One minute, they’ll be terrorizing people together, then the next, they’ll be at each other’s throats.

- Dark Samus is easily one of the biggest threats to peace within the Smash universe. If the other villains want to start killing everybody, they’d make it known. But if Dark Samus wants to start killing everybody, nobody would realize until it was far too late.

- In fact, she could probably brainwash all of them into killing each other while she sits back with a bowl of popcorn, watching with genuine amusement for once in her life. Luckily, since Samus is her main target, that’s a thought she hasn’t considered. Not yet, anyway.

- She avoids water like the plague for some reason. If someone accidentally spills some on her, she’ll recoil, hiss like a cat, then just disappear down the hallway. It’s one of the strangest things she does, and that’s saying a lot.

- She frequently mimics Samus just to annoy her.

- When October comes around, Dark Samus does all the classic horror movie stuff just to scare the fighters. Someone will be in the bathroom, minding their own business, when all of a sudden, Dark Samus is just standing behind them in the mirror, completely still. She’ll hide in fighters’ closets when they think they’re alone and jump out when they least expect it. She’ll put spiders on people’s pillows, and leave footprints of fake blood around the mansion, and whisper to the fighters in creepy voices during the night. Not to mention, she’s been caught burning things outside several times. Nobody knows what she’s burning though, because no one dares to go near her.

 - On the topic of fire, this poison-given form has attempted arson countless times.

- She tried using the Beetle item as a spying device once, but quickly learned that it’s not made for stealth.

- For some reason, Dark Samus really likes Russian food. If there isn’t at least one Russian dish per week, she’ll start destroying valuable items.

- She’s super intelligent when it comes to combat and alien customs, but completely stupid when it comes to blending in amongst people.

- She bought an alien newt off the dark web. Everyone thinks it’s a pet, but she actually got it to spy on the other fighters. Samus finds it extremely unfair that Dark Samus can have a pet and she can’t. Ridley doesn’t like to eat amphibians, so there's no chance he'll go after the newt.

- When the hallway is too crowded for her liking, she gets into Ball Form and rolls through the vents. Lucas does not stop making Among Us jokes whenever she does it. 

- Dark Samus is the dark counterpart of Samus, so naturally, she hates everything that Samus likes.

- Dark Pit is the closest fighter she has to an actual friend. They bond over the few similarities they share, the biggest being that they're both dark counterparts. He’s the only fighter she would (maybe) spare if she tried to kill everyone in the mansion. She even allowed him to name her newt, which he decided to call Hades.

- Speaking of the dark angel, Dark Samus has brainwashed him a bunch of times just to indirectly make fun of Pit. He honestly doesn’t mind, considering he probably would’ve done that regardless.

- Samus and Solgaleo vs. Dark Samus and Lunala — easily one of their best matches of all time.

- Lunala is the only living creature within the Smash universe that Dark Samus has a faint fondness for (aside from Dark Pit, maybe). She’s always there to give it some extra Poke Beans during meal times.

- She teases Samus to no end. Snake is a big enemy of hers because of this.

- There are very few folks who will willingly go near Dark Samus. Even the other villains get a bad vibe from her. 

- Her favorite song from the Smash soundtrack is Vs. Parasite Queen. To her, it sounds like something you can destroy an entire civilization to. Not that she plans on doing that… at least, not anytime soon…

Note: I hope you enjoyed all of these! Next up, the gluttonous egg dragon/dino!

[mecharlie-fox]

Memoirs of a Summoner: Part 2

Holy hecc it's already 2023 and I just now made part 2 due to unexpectedly breaking my writer's block (for the wrong fic) and I think I've decided on what I'm gonna do for the love interest.

Ship intention: Alfonse X Reader / Summoner X Reader / Zacharias (Bruno) x Reader

Note: The Summoner and the Reader ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. The Summoner has no distinct gender or sexuality and can be you or your OC, and the same is for the reader. This will be posted in AO3 for a more organized approach in the future. Happy reading!

Ahem!

You didn't know why you even agreed to Anna's proposal. AT ALL.

A Stewardship is basically a position that meant you will do every single small detail for the Commander and the Summoner from having their breakfast scheduled to every single night report delivered to them before bed or right after they wake up the following morning.

You didn't want to sign up for it but your worry, sense of duty, perhaps a little but of pity, got the best of you by the end of it all.

By hierarchy, you automatically outrank everyone you knew except for the Commander and the Summoner. You will be with them all the time, learn every secret, be part of every council, every decision making — you found yourself from a unknown soldier to a sudden "councilor" for both the Commander and the Summoner.

In short, you are third-in-command after the Summoner who is second.

By Order rules, no title of nobility or royalty would be effective on Order grounds and jurisdiction. It goes the same for foreign heroes who were summoned or volunteered, or your local nobles and royals who feel like they wanted to be a hero. Their position outside of the Order meant nothing and should be nothing, because everyone has to work for their spot in the order.

Things were changing around you the moment you said yes.

Your quarters were suddenly placed in the fourth floor where the commanding officers sleep. You were suddenly in important meetings, training sessions, access to armor, potions, and weapons that you've never seen before. Big name heroes such as Marth or Ike were finally noticing you! And it felt weird! All too weird!

You were invisible since the day the Summoner came along and all of a sudden you were a big name with a big fancy title. "The Steward."

It wasn't as fancy as Commander or Summoner, but you didn't care anyway. It felt as if the castle you were living for the past years was suddenly foreign to you.

But the biggest, weirdest thing you've encountered was Prince Alfonse and his sister Princess Sharena.

You did not know how to act amongst the royalty. AT. ALL.

Yeah, sure the heroes came from royalty or nobility from other worlds. But that was different. They were foreigners who wanted to help, heroes who were humbled and eager to fight with you until the end. But Prince Alfonse and the Princess? The Heir and the Spare?

This was a whole different territory for you.

You internally prayed for the Summoner to waltz in the war room and save you. But you were stuck with those two, AND ONLY those two. Where was the Commander? Heck, where are the Heroes who were given captaincy positions? You were certain, VERY CERTAIN that there was a scheduled meeting today. You had to be right, you were the one who confirmed it with Anna and the Summoner. It wasn't helping that Princess Sharena kept on smiling your way and Prince Alfonse awkwardly standing by the window looking at Lord Askr knows what.

Mind you. This was your first day on the job as Steward.

"So... What's your name?" ...

...

...

...

You wanted to run away the moment the Princess asked you your name. "M-my name is (y/n)..."

The Princess simply smiled at you. "Ohhhhh~ that's a pretty name! No need to be all nervous around me though," said the princess as she had a more welcome aura compared to her brother... Who was simply sneaking occasionally glances at the two of you. "You can just call me Sharena! Is it okay if I call you (y/n)?"

The Princess' eyes were practically shining.

"Uhm..." Before you could even answer, the Summoner gave their morning greetings to the three of you. Holding a tray of tea with bread.

Now you've become nervous as to why the Summoner just did your job. You were in their bedroom this morning to wake them up, why didn't they say anything?

You've noticed Prince Alfonse finally turned his direction towards you all with a welcoming smile. To you, the Prince wasn't all that friendly. Polite, sure, but he had more walls around him than Midgard's Shield.

You immediately stood up and rushes towards the summoner in a panic. "Summoner please—"

But they just stopped you right there. You could see their lips curve into a smile under that hood of theirs. "You're mistaken, (y/n) this isn't for sharing. This is for you."

...

...

...

What? "I beg your pardon?" You were utterly confused all of a sudden.

"Anna said you didn't eat breakfast." The Summoner casually said as they put down the tray by the table since no map has been presented yet. "We don't want a hungry Steward working so hard you know."

"I ... uhmmm thank you Ma'am— Sir, I— I mean Summoner!"

Sharena wanted to laugh so bad but she was holding it in. The Summoner just waved it off. "Summoner would be just fine, you can also call me Kiran once you're more comfortable." The Summoner was happy when you nodded. They've noticed you've become flustered, perhaps out of embarrassment due to being in the presence of royalty. Or maybe it was because of them. They didn't know really.

Heroes were easier to talk to because they didn't put them on a pedestal, but it was different for Askrans who volunteered. The Summoner was their legend, their hero, it made a lot of sense that people would be on guard around them not because they were a public threat but rather... some sort of impossible idol on display. Like if you touch them, they would crack.

"Alfonse, introduce yourself." Your level of shock could not comprehend on how casual the Summoner just called the Crown Prince of Askr.

Your eyes met and you just froze there. Waiting for Askr to answer your prayer of this not going bad. Alfonse on the other hand had a different thought process.

Like you, he didn't know how to interact with you. Between him and Sharena, he was the introverted one. He acknowledged that he was distant when Kiran first came to them from another world, but after a few missions and discussions — Kiran wasn't as complicated as he thought they were. But you were a different story.

You are a citizen of his Kingdom. He is your Crown Prince, your future King. He was afraid on what he common folk would think about him. Alfonse was aware that people say he wasn't behaving like a prince should be. But he was hoping you thought differently, that you would give him a chance to at least prove himself that this is where he belongs for the time being before he becomes King.

He stretched out his hand towards you, although he smiled, you didn't know if he was even happy you're going to lessen the workload for the order. "I am Alfonse, Prince of Askr."

"They know that dummy!" Sharena couldn't help but tease from behind.

"Ack! A-apologies! I'm so used to introducing myself in such a manner — Wh—why are you laughing?!" This was the first time you saw Prince Alfonse so flustered and the Summoner practically on the floor laughing histerically as the prince failed to introduce himself to you.

Sharena was still trying to hold it in as well from where she sat.

You didn't need to be a genius to know why he introduced himself like that. You didn't even need his explanation. Considering how many heroes the Summoner would do each day, it was only natural for the prince to introduce himself in such a way — he would be a broken record at this point.

"Nice to meet you, Your Highness." You introduced yourself with a bow. "My name is (y/n), I look forward to working with you."

"L-likewise, (y/n)" The prince sounded so apologetic that you're starting to believe that the Summoner may tease him about this until the moment they both die. "S-stop laughing!"

Maybe the Summoner is a prankster? No, impossible. You refuse to believe it. The Summoner is THE Legendary Great Hero there is no way they would be so childish.

"Don't mind him, (y/n), Alfonse has always been a stick in the mud." Summoner Kiran simply patted you on the head like a child. Odd thing is that... You didn't dislike it. Their hand felt warm.

It didn't take long for the new Captains to come and arrive. None of them were the captains that you knew, and it breaks your heart. Most of them were Heroes that were summoned, very few were nobility who just joined — probably because they want to curry favor with the crown prince or his sister. It didn't sit right with you... It didn't feel right, it felt like a sin even — seeing these people standing where they stood.

"Now," the Summoner cleared their throat before facing the siblings. "I've already notified the captains about (y/n) so I'm giving you to a quick briefing. They're our Steward, anything that goes in and out of this castle, they should know. All the plans, all the names, all the resources, all the correspondence — everything. They are to receive the same amount of respect as the Commander and I as a veteran of this Order. Failure to comply with this will have consequences and you're not children for me to even say that..."

The summoner's voice sounded different for you. It had a different aura compared to earlier when they were still goofing around with the Prince and Princess. Their aura was respectable, commendable — there was something about them that just draws people in. And you were awed by it.

The Summoner explained that look like them, you were allowed to participate on missions but it's not a mandatory thing for you to do. As third-in-command, you have every authority to override the Captain's orders and decisions. You were allowed to discipline them, have access to secret files, every dark secret, every mission — you were allowed to go wherever in the castle, nor extractions whatsoever.

You were given actual authority, the same level of authority as the Commander. You were even allowed in the restricted section in the library. Not even the Summoner has access to that part of the castle!

Anna had asked for a second chance. But this wasn't the second chance you were hoping for.

It didn't felt like you earned your position at all.

You can name so many people who deserves to be third-in-command instead of you.

But they were all gone.

And you were alone.

Anna wasn't even present in the whole briefing as you finally swallowed your nervousness and brought out a parchment filled with agendas for the day, and reported it to the whole war council. It felt like every briefing you did with your old unit but at the same time, it felt so strange — not familiar. Surely these heroes are to be trusted, they're heroes after all but you couldn't help but have your own reservations.

Heroes didn't automatically mean trust.

And you trust none of them.

You only trust Anna because you worked with her before she became commander. She was one of you before any of this. But she wasn't around. She was in the capital with other Contains, trying to ease the situation with the King. She's doing her job. She's working hard.

And you should too.

"Okay!" The Summoner clapped their hands together as to catch the attention of the whole room. "You all have your missions, go and brief your team. The Steward and I will remind here to discuss our next course of action."

It was like a switch. One moment the Summoner was a professional tactics master, whenever you can call it and the next, they are a complete child. You can tell by how they smiles at you. It was a smile your own brother would give whenever he had something stupid in mind and you need to keep him out of trouble (your mother finds out anyway and you both get in trouble.) Somehow, you went from finding the summoner hateful, to them being weird, to you now just feeling scares that you're on a babysitting job with a grown adult who has the ability to control worlds.

"You, Steward, are the luckiest person in this Order. Do you want to know why?" ... you were scared to find out what's next to that sentence.

"No, Summoner." By that answer, you could have sworn you could have a pin drop all the way from Embla's capital.

"I'm telling you anyway!" They responded gleefully as they took out a map from one of the shelves. "Anna tells me that you've been doing covert assignments since you got here. Is that right?"

"Yes," you said. "I was under Captain Zacharias."

"Good. I need someone like you for tonight's assignment." Opening the map, the Summoner took out a few wooden pieces and placed them on the map as if they were trying to divise a plan on how to get to their location. "We'll be meeting an agent right around here," they pointed at the secluded forest just in the middle of Embla and Askr territory. "I figured you'd be enough as my companion."

"What?"

"What?" The summoner looked up towards you but it wasn't enough for you to even see their face. "You're trained in combat, right?"

"Yes."

"And you're trained in first aid?"

"Yes."

"And you know covert operation protocol, right?"

"Yes."

"Then you're perfect for the job!" There they go again with such a happy tone. No wonder the princess was so fond of them.

"I'm the only person qualified for the job, Summoner."

"Exactly!" Both of you weren't stupid to just realize that none of the Heroes were trained or brief in protocols such as this. Covert operations are often dangerous and kept on the dark, originally there are three separate teams of them and one of them was burnt and the other two were disbanded.

But if you were the only one that's left... Who was the Summoner's agent in Embla territory?

"You don't have to come if you don't want to you know," the Summoner's voice became... Soft for some reason. It felt unexpected.

"But isn't this assignment important?"

"It is." The Summoner nodded. But they didn't want to force you into anything you don't like. "But if you feel like you're not ready, I can reassign you to Alfonse and Sharena for today."

It was the guriella warfare task that you said earlier.

This choice will affect the story

[overthinkingtaleblr]

My Josh Headcanon Masterlist

Everyone welcome to the table the first character in any media to have me considering broader sexuality and gender than cishet for characters! Josh is a warm and welcoming sweetheart with a frequently-changing story and life, and even seems to contradict themself on occasion... So I decided to complicate things. Occam's Razor? More like I'm going to do the weirdest thing possible.

As I see it, Josh-- similar to the Acachallas-- has some quality that makes it easier for them to travel between dimensions. Josh seems to lead several different lives because they happen to be multiple different people, each with their own personal lives. They are not specifically from any one dimension, and tends to live on the fringes or in abandoned pocket dimensions... with some exceptions.

Who Is Josh?

As I see it, there are several different people co-existing who all qualify as Josh. They are all ten years apart for now to give a consistent difference between them, some have different identities, but they are all Josh. This is because when Josh appears in a video, there is almost ALWAYS a conflict relating to dimensions, so maybe Josh THEMSELF is an inter-dimensional person. This makes the reason why they act so different all the time because... it's different people!!! Specifically four of them!

Josh Davenport, age 47, wife of Aaron Davenport and adoptive mother of an amnesiac Sally Villainchalla, named Cecelia Davenport, who she's attempting to redeem. The trio live alone in a pocket dimension, and are completely self-sufficient without contact to the outside world. This Josh is likely from the Villainchalla's universe, and was hoping to never have to return, and to make something from their world innocent and cheerful.

Jacob Keller, age 37, lives in Greece, the most hectic and chaotic of them all... and also a butch lesbian. Has both worked with Johnny Ghost and betrayed him. Accidentally broke up with Dummy because they didn't know the guy, really confusing the Josh who was dating Dummy. Somehow knows Gregory Gregory. Gregory and does the most dimensional travel out of all the Joshes.

Josh Keller, age 27, native to the main dimension, dating Dummy, works as a pumpkin picker, and went to school with Johnny Toast. They're close with their sister, Taylor, and are trying to reconnect with their brother, Charlie. This is ONE of the Joshes to join PIE in the billion year war. They died by falling off a roof in that timeline.

Josh Stevens, age 17, this is the Josh who would be in a romantic relationship with Jenny Ghost and Jenny Toast if the option was on the table. This is the other Josh to join PIE in the Billion Year War. They died while trying to control a Tripod from the inside.

Four different characters who all happen to be one, the structure of this analysis will likely be somewhat different than usual. I think that they're all friendly to each other if and when they encounter each other, though they never worked out a system for when they encounter someone the other Joshes know.

Relationship HCs

Aaron Davenport

The Husband of specifically Josh Davenport, he hasn't met any of the other versions of his spouse. The two live outside of the standard dimensions to try to avoid getting involved in anything horrible or hectic, and Josh loves him very much. They see each other as a grounding force, and wouldn't trade each other's company for the world.

Charlie Keller

Josh's younger brother and a bartender at a tourist trap hotel. Despite his sibling's abilities, he has nothing that he is aware of just yet, making him frustrated and a little self-loathing. Josh is not aware of the depth of what he's feeling, and accidentally brushes him off more than once. They're trying to reconnect but they've both changed so much that the old methods they used to connect won't work yet.

In the billion year war, they made it their priority to find their brother after finding out he was making up prophecies and going by Action Charlie to sound cooler than he really was. They wanted to get it in his brain how dangerous his choices were, but the wasteland got to them first.

His inferiority complex can be a problem if not considered.

Darth Calculus

Hate to say this, but while I'm not sure which one yet, one of the Joshes has joined the ranks of characters who went to school under Darth Calculus... Which likely says something about where that one's loyalties lie at the end of the day. As it stands now, only one of the four trained under him, though it's possible his influence can reach all of them through his actions toward one... not sure yet.

Dummy

Josh Keller's significant other, the pair have been dating for a long while and met through Johnny Toast. She likes how sensitive but mature he is, and thinks his forgetful nature is a little funny.

Jacob randomly encountered Dummy one day, thought he was ridiculous, and orchestrated a break-up with them for the drama. She thinks the other version of her could do better. She would be disappointed to learn they repaired their relationship afterward.

Gavin Toast

Much to every other Josh's chagrin, Josh Stevens has a bit of an unsubstantial crush on every Toast she encounters, and that includes Gavin. It is also likely to Gavin's chagrin, considering he wouldn't have the time to babysit a child. They would say something, he would roll his eyes and go back to work, they wouldn't notice him shrugging them off, they probably robbed a bank together... y'know, harmless.

Jenny Ghost

Possible girlfriend!

Jenny Toast

Johnny Ghost

Johnny Toast

27-year-old Josh and Johnny Toast met each other through high school.

Same for 17-year-old Josh, but that was a different dimension, and they didn't hit it off the same way.

Sally Villainchalla

Or Cecelia Davenport, the oldest of the Joshes 'rescued' the amnesiac Villainchalla from their universe without realizing she was apart of the problem. They love their daughter, and are doing what they can to grow beyond the evil expectations of their world. Cecelia doesn't have any memories outside of the pocket dimension she's been raised in, and with any luck it'll stay that way.

Taylor Keller

Josh's older sister and someone who Josh heavily looks up to! They trust their sister's intuition and are closer with her than they are their brother.

Trivia

The birth order of Josh and their siblings goes Taylor, Josh, Charlie. They are also all trans and they try their best to be supportive to each other. They don't stay together in every universe, and Josh Keller is the tightest with both their siblings at once.

Josh Davenport gets their surname from Andrew Davenport, one of the creators of Teletubbies.

Jacob Keller gets their first name from a pseudonym Josh used in canon, and they and Josh Keller get their surname from Joe Keller, who played the main character of the 1987 All My Sons made-for-TV film since 21 pilots gets their name from that. That is also their canon original surname.

Josh Stevens gets their name from it being declared in canon at one point... why they don't have the Keller surname... who knows... ;)