#why do all the good ones go to disney jail

[elibean]

go go loser ranger is easily my fave this season

[girlinthetardis04]

LIVE WISDOM SAGA REACTION!!!!!!!

I'm finally free!!!! Penelope and Telemachus I'm coming!

Legendary

Telemachus, you haven't even spoken yet and I already love you.

"Open Arms" callback??????

"Full Speed Ahead" callback??????

Athena!!!!

Hey, neat "Monster" reference.

I want to give him cookies and a pat on the back.

Wait wait wait, that's the same melody as "where is he? Where is he? Keep your head down he's aiming for the torches!"

Bitch! Is that Antinous?

EXCUSE ME?????

TRAMP????

TRAMP??????

★I'll be honest, at the beginning of the song I thought it was right after Thunder Bringer, I didn't realize we already skipped ahead. And the irony of him singing about all the things his dad had to get through to get back to him? Ugh!★

Little Wolf

Bold words from someone who has barely three years on Telemachus.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ATHENA'S BACK ATHENA'S BACK ATHENA'S BACK

"Uppercut him. 😐" DID NOT HESITATE LMAO

"Let's try this again" is she talking about the fight moves or about having a protege/Warrior of the Mind? Eh? Eeh?

Bwahawaha the "ooh, maybe I pushed him a bit to hard 😬" "ow 🤕" hahahaha. Reminds me of the training scene in Disney's Hercules.

★I genuinely was not expecting this song to be as uplifting as it was based on the preview snippets. The parts with Athena made me actually laugh out loud, which is new considering how much of a straight man she is Act 1★

We'll Be Fine

★This is actually one of two songs of this saga I actually haven't heard anything from, I don't even know what it's about or who sings it!★

A FRIEND! A FRIEND! SHE CALLED ODYSSEUS A FRIEND!

I know this melody. Why do I know this melody? Curse non musically inclined brain!

Hold it. Are those kalimbas in the back? Polites's instrument? Am I just delusional?

Telemachus, baby, you gotta raise your standards here.

★DA FEELS!★

Love in Paradise

★This is the other song I heard nothing about. I assume it's the one with Calypso★

THE TIME DIVE!

OH MY GOODNESS IT'S NOT JUST THE INSTRUMENTALS HERE!!! IT'S GOT THE ACTUAL LYRICS!!! AAAAAH THAT'S SO GOOD SO MUCH BETTER OH MY GOSH AND LISTEN LISTEN ANY AMOUNT OF STEVEN RODRIGUEZ'S VOICE IS WELCOME HERE PLEASE SING MORE!!!!!

It's like going on the shuffle on my playlist!

Wait, wait, wait, the preview didn't have "Different Beasts", "Scylla" and "Thunder Bringer"!!!!!!!!!

"She's my wife" "....😶....anyways 😊"

Oh, a twist on a classic! Is Jay contractually obligated to reference "Just a Man" every three songs or something?

Poor Ody sounds traumatized...like "not again!" The difference:

Circe: >:]

Calypso: >:3

Hey, Jay, ypu didn't have to do this. It wasn't written down anywhere. The doctor didn't prescribe it.

HEY! HEY! NO. Bad songwriter, Jay, bad! *pretend there's a spray bottle emoji here* you don't get to reference "Open Arms" like THAT

Oh, and now you actually have Polites's voice here! 🔨 *bonk go to time out jail*

★okay I'm gonna take a couole of minutes so I don't physically explode when I listen to God Games★

God Games

★We're gonna hear Apollo and Hephaestus and oh my god hahahaha★

ASAFDAGFAHDSIJE NOT A DRILL PEOPLE NOT A DRILL READY FOR ME TO BE ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND NINETEEN SECONDS?

YES YES IT'S REAL WE'RE ACTUALLY HERE PEOPLE!

🫰🫰🫰 hmmm, Luke Holt's voice mmmhmm, and the way he pronounces the names??? He really sounds like a video game annoucer!

Also wait, wait wait, did- did Apollo's voice sound different? That's hehe totally not me freaking out hahahahaha. Justhitplayjusthitplayjusthitplay

Hera has a new voice????? Velvety!

I physically collapsed on my bed here, it's worth noting.

I was not expecting that motivation for Apollo! Interesting!

Oh, okay so that's why Apollo was Level 1.

I was kinda hoping he'd sing for longer but okay 🥲

Hephaestus! My... fourth favorite god! (After Hestia, Hermes, and Hades. Just the H ones)

Is that...Jay? No, it can't be, right?

AND NOW THE PART I'VE HAD ON LOOP FOR MONTHS!

Lol, I'm sorry for laughing but in the demo Athena sounded so much more pained and here she's like "dammit why are you interrupting me I'm in the middle of something!"

AH THE "WARRIOR OF THE MIND" REPRISE!!!!?

Oooh, okay Hera's new voice! I like it, velvety, it's very high class. Though I also loved the demo version because she sounded so JUDGY.

BOSS BATTLE!

Dadada dada dadaa... That's Thunder Bringer in the background!

Hold on, I'm gonna lower my volume a bit because I get the feeling my ears are gonna suffer otherwise.

Oh yeah, I made a good call. Though that voice control dayum!

BWAHAHA I CAN'T TELL IF IT'S ARES OR HEPHAESTUS WHO ASKED THAT BUT EITHER WAY, HILARIOUS! (That's really what it do be like after your siblings fight with your parents - I say as a only child)

*deep inhale* the piano version of "Warrior of the Mind"? Really?

No clue what the visuals are supposed to be here, but according to the music I should be happy.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Summer Time Rendering

To attend the funeral of his best friend and part of the family that took him in after his parents died, Shinpei returns to his small island home for the first time in two years. Hearing whispers that her body showed bruises around her neck inconsistent with the story of a tragic drowning while rescuing a child in the ocean, Shinpei becomes suspicious. There may be something brewing under the surface of this warm summer...

This is the perfect show as the northern hemisphere heads into summer: atmospheric, intriguing, balancing action and mystery.

STR first piqued my interested when I saw it referred to repeatedly as a show that didn't get the attention it deserved (a reviewer for Anime News Network referred to it as "among the best anime of 2022") due to being locked in "the Disney+ jail."

And having watched it, I agree: if this had been on a bigger anime-watching platform and released (in the US, at least) close to when it came out in Japan, it absolutely would've made a bigger splash. For some inscrutable reason, Disney got the rights but didn't release this in the US until months after it finished its run in Japan, without fanfare as a Hulu exclusive.

The upside to this is that you can more easily go in blind, and this is a show that benefits from knowing as little as possible ahead of time. Watching it weekly would've been an experience, but it lends itself to bingeing, as each episode advances the story--and mystery--even more, leaving the viewer hooked and hungry for answers.

That does, of course, make it difficult to talk about specific things I liked! The mystery is suspenseful, but it keeps up a good pace, balancing revealing more of what's going on with introducing even more questions. There wasn't a single episode where I got frustrated because it felt like the show was just playing up the tension; you're right there with Shinpei piecing things together, even if the thing is just "I can affect this even if I don't know what the outcome is."

Shinpei is a good main character, intelligent but not overbearing, and balanced with a cast that can variously match or surpass him in strength, intelligence, and relevant skills; if it weren't for the Plot Reason he's the protagonist, this would have just as well worked as an equal-ensemble show. Even Ushio, whose death was the catalyst for Shinpei's return, plays an active role in the story, helping prevent this from just being about a boy doing stuff in sad service to the memory of a dead girl.

As Shinpei uncovers more information about what happened, and through judicious use of flashbacks, Ushio's character develops, and she is a great character. In a show where scenes are sometimes sorting through the equivalent of two simultaneous chess games, it's nice to have at least one character who, while not stupid, uses her scenes to be refreshingly straightforward.

Verdict

English dub? Yes!

Visuals: Very nice! The story takes place equally during the day and after dark, as well as in a variety of locations, and it does a good job setting the stage, as well as balancing darkness and the need for the viewers to actually see things.

Worth watching? Absolutely. It's 25 episodes and uses all of them, neither feeling like it's dragging things out nor moving too fast. And despite its length, you don't have to wait until the final episodes to get any answers--Shinpei starts working things out quickly, and so the viewer does too. It's a solid suspenseful action show, and it was quickly obvious to me why I'd seen so many people say Disney did it dirty with its bizarre release.

Where to watch (USA, May 2024): Hulu (sub and dub)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[mdhwrites]

The Stupidity of Claiming Heroes Push for Inaction

TLDR: It really sucks to me that 20 years after Superman: What's so Funny About Truth, Justice and the American Way (adapted into Superman vs The Elite), the point that story made has been forgotten entirely just because of dickheads who keep saying Batman should kill the Joker.

That might sound harsh but I am deeply tired of the argument that heroes deciding not to kill is the same as them doing nothing. That just because these villains could kill again, it gives our HEROES the right to put them down like rabid dogs. The video that was shared in my Discord that sparked this claimed such lessons only existed to empower tyrants while being entirely uncritical of the fact that this sort of mentality is EXACTLY what tyrants use to get away with getting rid of dissenters. "They were clearly a threat to the state so before they could hurt anyone, I executed them."

But to get away from the politics, it's just an inherently flawed argument. The perfect counterpoint is just that old Superman comic. He's questioned what he'll do if the person breaks out of jail and tries to kill people again and Superman's answer is simple: He will stop them. And he will keep doing everything he can short of killing them so as to stop them whenever they cause trouble. That isn't selfishness or self righteousness or inaction. That is understanding that murder isn't just a narrative device but genuinely one of, if not the, worst things you can do to a human being. That in this situation it is the easy answer but that our HEROES should be better than that. That they should be able to change the world without giving into our worst impulses or by going with the easiest option at their disposal. They do MORE by deciding to shoulder this burden than someone who decides to simply remove it by taking justice in their own hands and being judge, jury and executioner.

These arguments though are always in bad faith. Or, well, they were originally. Some people genuinely believe these sorts of lazy takes, just like the lazy takes that complain about Disney movies being based on fairy tales essentially and don't take into account things like, I dunno, genre or thematics. Why doesn't Batman kill? Because Batman had everything taken away from him by callous, cruel violence committed upon his parents. If he perpetuates this cycle of violence, if he ever kills, he doesn't fix anything. He is only going to make more of himself and that is the last thing he wants because what he went through made him MISERABLE. So yeah, he could save more lives in the future by killing the Joker but you also throw the whole point of the character in the wood chipper with that argument. Good fucking job.

It's also a pedant's argument and the counters to it are also pedantic. "If Batman kills the Joker because of the fact that he might kill people in the future, instead of believing the system can function at all, does that mean Batman needs to kill every villain?" "Well, what is the line between saying that a person is or isn't capable of incredible cruelty? Should he kill everyone with a gun and make sure no one but him can have weapons so such violence is hard? What does that make him? Why should he stop with only supervillains for that matter? The cops of Gotham are often crooked and trained to kill. Even if they're good today, who says they'll be good tomorrow?"

It's almost like building an argument with a flawed base leads to nowhere good. And again, this is not me pushing for inaction. Batman doesn't hear that the Joker is loose and goes "Alfred, I have a no killing rule so I guess I have to just let him do what he wants." No, he goes out and does quite literally everything in his power besides killing so as to stop the Joker. So as to minimize how many people die. So as to save as many people as possible. That's not pushing pacifism, complacency or any of the dozen other bullshit claims you want to make about what having heroes who don't kill implies. It is just pushing the idea that we should still have, you know, ANY sort of moral code. That there should be limits in place for solving problems because an eye for an eye makes the entire world blind.

Or beheaded if we go by literal history. Hi French Revolution and the extreme turmoil caused by opening the Pandora's Box that was executing nobility at that time. That's not a joke either. The guillotine is so famous for that time period because it wasn't just one round of nobles. Once they opened up the idea that someone in power could just be thrown under the blade by mob rule, a LOOOOOOT of people died as the mob tried to find someone they were willing to let rule them.

Violence begets violence. Some media can explore when that's necessary, a lot of it has examined that really well even, but you know what those stories aren't? They're not stories targeted at kids and young teens who probably shouldn't be told to try and gouge out the eye of their schoolyard bully just because then they won't do it again. I feel like trying to teach kids to do better than that is extremely important in fact, especially as the uncle to a nine year old nephew who still gets physical with others way faster than he should.

I want him to grow up to be kind, not cruel. To not think he can do whatever he wants so long as he can claim to be 'right'. That's never been the mentality of a hero after all, only of monsters. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[pooonnyboooyyy]

The outsiders OCs I created because I had nothing better to do with my life.

Ladybird Jane Curtis

• 16 going on 17

• Sodapop’s twin sister

• Nicknames are Bird, Birdie, doll and Lady (but only Dallas call’s her Lady)

• was President of her school’s drama club until she had to drop out to help support her family after their parents died

•Great liar, the only one who can tell if she’s lying is Dally

•Secretly dated a soc (Randy) but broke up with him the night of her parents funeral

•She’s often the gang’s alibi because of her gift for lying (she’s gotten Dallas out of jail more times than she can count)

•Her and Two-bit are platonic besties (they watch Disney and Micky Mouse together a lot)

•works at the local 24 hour dinner with Sandy (before ya know, she cheated)

• fiercely protective of Ponyboy (she had to practically become his mom)

•idolizes Marilyn Monroe and Clara Bow (she loves old Hollywood)

•Smokes and will put her cigarettes in her rolled up sleeves for easy access but hates the taste of alcohol

• She’s her mom’s twin

• Has a unrealized crush on Dallas (they often flirt with one another while Silvia and Dally are broken up but Darrel often puts a stop to it)

• “My only sister Ladybird runs up to us, she’s Sodapop’s twin and pretty much the female version of him, beautiful and always positive, she has bombshell blonde hair and mom’s kind eyes, always looking at you like they’re is no one else in the world that she rather be looking at, but now her eyes are looking at me with horror. She despises the sight of blood or me being hurt, she treats me like a damn baby who is always hurt”

Book description of Ladybird aka Ladybird from Pony’s perspective

• I got inspired by Daisy Buchanan for her character description and design

Kathrine “Kitty” Lorraine Lebeau-Curtis

•20

• Darrel’s then gf turned wife by the end of the story

• Has a mom who in the nicest terms is a drunken a hole who is literally insane

• She’s short because she was oftentimes malnourished as a child and would be locked in a room with no food for days on end as punishments

• From Montgomery, Alabama but moved to Tulsa when she was 10 when her baby sister (Margaret) was found de@d in the bathtub and her mother’s reputation was ruined.

• Grew up on the soc side of town and was practically a soc for many of her teenage years but always hated how socs treated greasers

•Sews all of her own clothes and will fix the gang’s clothes as well (and she’s great at it)

• “Patiently” waiting for her mother to kick the bucket so she can sell her house (it’s a soc house so it would go for a lot) so she can help her husband out with the bills more (Darrel insists that she doesn’t need to do that for him but she doesn’t listen) it probably won’t take much longer for her to pass because of the amount of drügs she’s taking

• Works as a seamstress

• Was cheer captain back in high school and was damn good at it (her team won several national titles under her leadership and she owns several championship rings)

• Originally dated Paul Holden (that’s how she met Darry) but he was a horrible boyfriend who would often beat on her and belittle her, Darrel was the one who stood up for her and treated her like she was a person and not some doll to be tossed around, that’s one of the reasons why she fell in love with Darry

• Paul hates Darrel for “taking her away from him” when Darry literally was the only one who treated her like a person

• Darrel doesn’t know why she stayed with him (but he isn’t complaining)

• The gang’s mom

• Doesn’t smoke or drink (she has trauma from her mother burning her with cigarettes)

• Becomes her high school’s cheer coach by the end of the story (Cherry and Marcia idolize her)

• Worries about Darrel a lot (she thinks he’s over working himself too much)

•literally the original Cherry Valance

• “Darry’s girlfriend, Kathrine “Kitty” Lebeau was behind Birdie, she’s pretty short with strawberry blonde hair and deep sea blue eyes and a scar just underneath her lip from a cheerleading accident when she was 13. She’s the complete opposite of Darry, and a ex soc no less, but I still like her she’s a good cook and a good person to talk to. I don’t get why she wastes her time with Darry, she has her pick of the crop but still picks Darry.”

Book description of Kitty/ Pony’s pov of her

Tell me what y’all think!

[lord-rosenth0rne]

Went into FNAF with low expectations and I'm glad I did. Any movie that looks THAT GOOD with legendary puppeteers creating characters that seem to have just been pulled directly from the games will have some huge drawback to it and that was the writing.

Also, when I hear "it's for the fans" coming from Hollywood of all places, I know something's up. Something got Disney-fied in order to have it appeal to a larger crowd that may water down the content.

The actors were great, LOVED Matthew Lillard and his Scream reference, the atmosphere is creepy when it needs to be and the animatronics were just perfect. The cameos and easter eggs made it so nice.

The storytelling sucks. BAD. Bad to the point that I'm going to have to sit down with my mother later after she watches it and SHOW her (because the movie has a problem with telling, not showing) what her granddaughter, my niece is actually in love with that the movie skips out on, that being the horror itself. This is a HORROR franchise and it's gotten soft over its continuation.

The script should have been given to someone who was a fan of the series, particularly the first three games (can't say the books as they seem to have their own premise), AND a horror movie buff. The movie forgets it's a horror movie and doesn't seem to know what it wants to be.

There are a lot of key pieces I would have changed to make it enjoyable for newcomers while simultaneously being for the fans:

-Make this a series and not a movie. Mike should be in jail by the end of the movie with all the stuff they glossed over. Cop gets gravely injured and he and his sister are the only witnesses? With Afton "dead" and locked away, who else could have done it? The woman he's in a custody battle with is lying dead on his floor AND he has a history of violence and drug use? Yeah. No. This needed more time to deal with its issues or be rewritten entirely which I am all for.

-Garrett's disappearance needed to have a DIRECT line to the pizzeria instead of happening in the middle of BFE Nebraska.

-Nix the dream crap. Mike should have been killed the first time he ever fell asleep in that place. Next security guard, please. Though, I will say, if he falls asleep or he loses consciousness, they could have Garrett communicate with him to give a couple of clues on what he needs to do next and warn him to stay away from the animatronics.

-Speaking of animatronics, they're vengeful spirits that should go after anything with a pulse. Or at least any adult with a blindness for faces. While I can excuse how they acted around Abby, I can't excuse it around Mike or Vanessa. They should get the same treatment the idiots who broke into the place did regardless of who they are.

-Utilize the cameras more to keep an air of mystery and horror going. Maybe have Mike chase some kid through the place like Max did only to go look back at the cameras to see that he wasn't chasing anything or if he sees a kid on the cameras, he goes to find them only to find the respective animatronic standing there instead. Lean harder into the paranormal aspect.

-Have Afton's motives actually explained. WHY was he doing this? What was his end goal of killing kids and putting them in suits? Yeah, it can be a simple answer, but not one given in the movie. Also, have him more involved in the plot. Have him physically haunting the place as Springtrap. Having Mike ask him "Why" and him answering "Why not?" would be fucked up as hell and mirror real-life child kidnappings/murders. Grieving families do ask the killers of their loved ones "Why?"

-Nix Vanessa. OG fans remember when we had to piece things together through visuals. Not exposition. Mike should find out about the other disappearances through articles and such, even Garrett's disappearance which he could be trying to solve, and stumbled upon a golden opportunity when he found a Craigslist ad for a Night Guard for the very place his brother went missing. Besides, Vanessa has her own lore that wouldn't be in play until later additions to the franchise. Nothing like finding out the body of a dead child is hiding in one of the animatronics by "injuring" the animatronic to keep up the horror aspect.

-I would have kept the family angle with Mike knowing Afton was his father, he just used "Mike Schmit" to get a job at the place his father is protective over to investigate instead of "Michael Afton", given how common "Schmit" is. Afton himself probably wouldn't recognize him unless face to face.

-Bring in Henry Emily. Give a red herring that maybe HE'S the one behind all of it. Have him investigate at the same time Mike is and neither trust each other with that information, causing them to suspect one another.

You see, this movie would have been ten times better if they used what was already there instead of using an entirely different story with the same characters. They could have used old cliches and made them work.

[david-talks-sw]

Kinda embarrassing that people demonize the jedi (yknow, the ultimate good guys) by falling for in universe propaganda...like how do you miss the point by that much?

Y'know... that's not even the weirdest thing to me. I already shared my thoughts about why some fans might just be biased against the Jedi from the get-go and how the Prequels not being centered on the Jedi may have contributed to that bias.

But I've seen the argument be made on Instagram that

"Bail Organa kidnapped Leia".

And like... y'know, I'm sure he and the Naberries never signed any legal documents... but is this really the hill to die on?

Bail is arguably THE most morally pure character in all of Star Wars and you're gonna burn him on this technicality? Really?! "Sure, he's hiding a girl who isn't his own from space Satan, but he didn't fill out the proper forms so fuck him"?

What's next?

Luke is guilty of animal cruelty for mutilating a Wampa without a hunting license and a license to carry a lightsaber?

Leia should be jailed because she choked Jabba but NOT in self-defense?

Wait, I got it. Chewie owes his son years of child support for being an absentee father.

But let's look past this franchise. How about Marvel:

You could argue "Spider-Man is a friggin' bully, he's always berating his opponents, making jokes at their expense, and most of them usually break out and cause more death and damage simply to take revenge, and if we wanna get technical, that's all on his head."

"Falcon is morally reprehensible for killing these guys in a foreign country, without a badge or any sort of legality. He should serve multiple life sentences."

"Captain America is some kind of war criminal for stabbing this dude in the back, even though he clearly gave up and just wanted to live."

Disney: "Mufasa is a tyrant who specifically discriminates against and hunts down a poorer class/species because *gasp* they're hungry and don't meet his standards of civilization. What an asshole, amirite?"

Naruto: "Itachi Uchiha is an ego-driven psycho who murdered his whole clan, (a clan who had been slandered and discriminated against by a fascist government, and literally segregated to one single neighborhood) then inflicted MASSIVE psychological and emotional damage on his brother, aged 11, who went on to waste his teen years on a fruitless quest for revenge because Itachi was too much of a coward to finish the job."

Dragon Ball: "The Z warriors are responsible for every earthling suffering from an onslaught of PTSD (because you can't tell me that everybody being slaughtered by [insert villain here], seeing heaven, settling into heaven and waking up in a crater alongside everybody you saw die before you, over and over for decades, won't leave a mark)."

Hell, you could argue "the Powerpuff Girls are child soldiers."

These are all very uncharitable views, stated in very bad faith.

And we know this because the narrative never portrays these points as problems. So we're not meant to see these characters this way.

You know why? Because it's fiction.

In the specific case of Star Wars, it's a fairy tale in space, it's mythology reinvented. The more detailed real-world logic you apply to it, the further away you get from the point.

It's meant to make you feel emotions and ponder on themes, first and foremost.

If you're wondering about how many taxes Han Solo needs to pay every year and to how many planetary governments, then either the film isn't doing its job right, or you're missing the point.

Hell, it's not just "missing" the point in some of these cases, it's seeing it and fucking Tokyo Drifting around the point until it becomes a speck in your rear-view mirror.

[ach-sss-no]

I've been tagged by @pazithigallifreya ! There's no one I can think of offhand to tag so just do it if you want to

1 How many works do you have on AO3? Aaahhh, well, the official number appears to be 5. I have some scattered orphans out there somewhere.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 262,523. Officially. If you were to track down everything I've orphaned it might go up a bit.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Good sir, I only have written five fanfictions, so I'll just stick to the top one

Schrodinger's Hobbit

Ah yes, the one that was posted on a regular schedule and has characters people care about in the tags, giving readers a ghost of a chance to discover it and give it a 'well it's about gollum but I'm desperate for pippin' click

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

In theory, yes. In practice, if I don't reply to a comment as soon as I see it, I sometimes forget to go back and reply because I've tricked myself into thinking I already have. Because I usually reply right away, you see.

Fortunately I do eventually see the comment as unreplied to in my inbox and circle back to it.

However, sometimes if there's no question posed and a simple 'thank you' doesn't seem to apply I honestly can't think of an answer and will just appreciate the person in silence.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uh, well, there's... oh, there's this one that's orphaned somewhere on AO3! it ends with Gollum learning how to eat people

I think I also wrote something once where it ended on a guy going 'oh no I am going to go insane just like my mother' but I don't know if it still exists anywhere.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Maybe Schrodinger's Hobbit? It ends with Aragorn saying 'Gollum isn't going to jail and we're just going to keep him' which is a happy ending from one point of view (Gollum's)

I usually just stop writing stories at the point where they stop being interesting.

7. Do you write crossovers?

The answer is no except for the time I did a crossover webcomic between two games no one cares about.

The first really ambitious fanfiction project I did was some kind of three way crossover with tons of canon/oc shipping and it was so bad.

Also there's a thing on my account that's technically a crossover but it's between Disney properties, which are already just one big lump.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

There's a TVTropes page out there with people railing about how bad my ambitious fanfiction project with tons of canon/oc shipping was. I am not going to find it for you.

In terms of comments, no, except for the one time I wrote a shipfic in a particularly eccentric fandom. People got bad about that. Oddly enough the people who liked the ship were the ones that got mad. Failed step one.

I've never gotten hate on AO3. (Not yet! 👀) Only the wild west of fanfiction.net and TVtropes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. I don't monitor for that, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had some people get permission from me to do translations, but they never told me if they posted anything.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ahhhh I used to years and years ago. I think one co-written thing is still floating about somewhere on ff.net.

I wouldn't be opposed to trying it again one day if I met someone with a compatible writing style and the circumstances were right, but it's not something I'm seeking out.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I guess I'm not really that into shipping. Sometimes a ship will catch my interest enough to produce content but there are none I currently find interesting enough to claim as a favorite.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

If I haven't finished it by now, I don't want to ;)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don't feel well-equipped to judge my own work, so I will go off of what other people have said about me, which is always a great method for determining your self-concept.

A bunch of different people have said independently of each other that I'm good at characterization and dialog, so it's probably at least partially true.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh I don't know how to write a plot.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are so many different ways that could be done that this question feels too general to answer.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Lilo & Stitch. Almost 20 years ago now! The Internet has changed a LOT since then.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd like to try writing original fiction- wait, come back! Come back!

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, now, that's hardly fair. You expect me to READ these things?

[krimsonkatt]

Flon. Finally, Flon. Man, this one's a doozy. Firstly, she's a boss that is going to be in Chaos;Domain. But also she has a VERY complex and detailed backstory on why and how I created her that ties into religion, childhood trauma, and... Disney?

Remember the movie Pinocchio? You know, the 1940 classic? Well, child me had a very... INTERESTING interpretation of that movie's events, one that baffles me to this day. You know the blue fairy? You know, the one that serves as the "big good" of the movie and the one that grants Pinocchio life? Well, child me, having grown up in a strict religious household, (my parents have lightened up over the years, don't worry) I thought the blue fairy WAS AN AGENT OF THE DEVIL. Yes, seriously. I interpreted the events of the movie as poor Gapeddo LITERALLY MAKING A FAUSTIAN DEAL WITH THE DEVIL to bring Pinchochio to life and that Pinocchio was some unholy demonic abomination.

I thought the song "starlight star bright" was Gapeddo PRAYING TO THE DEVIL and that IRL that chant can be used to summon Satan. The song freaked me out to the extent that I had a super vivid nightmare where Tyler, my brother and my bunk bed buddy at the time, sang the song with his wish being to "destroy the world." His specific words in the dream were "Starlight, star bright, I wish upon a star tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, I wish that this world would be destroyed tonight." This caused me to hate my brother and believe him to be the antichrist for years, all based on freaking Pinocchio. And please, Jagged Edge Productions, the makers of Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey, if you are reading this DO NOT steal this idea from me for Pinocchio Unstrung without credit and monetary compensation. Thanks.

Anyway, I was traumatized by the movie for completely different reasons than most kids (the pleasure island scene, which the teacher skipped for its depictions of alcohol and smoking) and deemed the blue fairy not only as the secret big bad of the movie, but also an agent of Satan. I called her "Flon" (pronounced full-on like colon) and started a vendetta against all fairies including Tinker Bell, believing them to all be agents of the devil. I remember once incident in first grade where I saw a girl with a tinker bell backpack and cried out pointing at her "EVI! EVI!" which is my word for anything part of "Evil Villains Incorporated" back then, the main villain group of my fictional universe which I confused for reality. All fairies were part of EVI, so I called them EVI. I got in big trouble and got beaten up by the teachers and put in school jail for that.

Ironically years later in my late teens I grew a fascination of fairies years after I ended my silly vendetta and somewhere in my crazy brain I hold the halfhearted belief that I AM a fairy, or at least a changeling. Makes a lot of sense, considering my disabilities, weirdness, and affinity for the strange and unusual. Also, I developed an actual fairy fetish thanks to stupid sexy Tinker Bell, Adelle from Bravely Default II, and Eos from FFXIV during puberty, not to mention fairy transformation NSFW I stumbled across on the internet. I just like how cute, small, and fluttery they are and the pretty leafy/flowery outfits they wear. To temporarily shape-shift into a tiny fairy is a major fantasy of mine, and I do that thing a lot in lucid dreams.

But anyway, I haven't really decided what Flons strategy in battle should be during Chaos;Domain. Maybe an attack that makes you vulnerable to all elements? Weakness Sparkle? IDK. That game's development is a long ways away, so I can think about it then when I make the resprites for most of the bosses.

[asterinstar]

OKAY GUYS I HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE THE OTHER MCS INTO BIRDS 😁 NOW PREPARE FOR A LONG THREAD OF BIRD RAMBLES AND HCS I HAVE FOR EACH OF THEM

MC1 - Chickadee

I have decided to make MC1 a chickadee or more specifically a long tailed tit because it is so small just like MC1. Now you might think that the chickadee is too cute for MC1 but that's where you're WRONG. Fun fact chickadees are known to be a FUCKING MENACES. IF THEY'RE THREATENED, YOU KNOW THEY GON ATTACK.

So with MC1 no matter where the little fella goes whether he's flying or walking, trouble is his #1 fan

In one moment, he'll be boiling water but then a few seconds, the kitchen's on fire. Another moment, he'll be just sitting in a tree then a few seconds later he's pooping on someone like a pigeon. Yeah he is a fucking menace.

Surprisingly he's a pretty cheerful and friendly guy for someone who causes mayhem every 5 secs. He gets along with everyone (sorta) and will get into trouble with you because he likes you :)

He, MC2, and MC5 are a trio of violent and unhinged birdies who would peck anyone's asses

He and my duck mc are definitely evil besties like they're either getting their asses put into trouble or causing mischief and giggling like the little stoopy birds they are

So in conclusion he's a fucking gremlin who can't stop getting into trouble and needs a leash on him

MC 2 - Lovebird

Ah yes the girlboss. So for her I have decided to make her a love bird specifically a black masked love bird. Man I really LOVE how she and the bird look so similar UGH 😫 IT'S SUCH A PERFECT MATCH FOR MY GIRLIE.

She is the definition of a girlboss as she is acts however she wants whenever she wants and there is NO exception to that

And because she's a girlboss she is definitely a great leader as she is confident, assertive, reliable, and fights for what she believes while looking so cool doing it

But just because she's a bad bitch doesn't mean she a mean bitch! She just knows how to act for herself. As her friend the little birdie will definitely give you makeovers like in those moments in disney princess movies where the animals help the princess dress up!

She and MC3 are definitely the wlw and mlm solidarity 😌

She and my duck mc definitely have sleepovers where they do girl sleepover stuff like give each makeovers, gossip, and do rituals lol

In conclusion, she's a cool bitch and I'd prolly say she's similar to Wendy Testaburger from south Park

MC3 - Penguin

Welp I'm turning the himbo into a penguin. I thought of the penguin more specifically the emperor penguin because he's big and so is the penguin.

So amongst all of the mcs this penguino has dated the most people. Like he'll be flirting with every hot guy he sees every 5 secs and you know how THAT goes. Bro's like the horny option in the dialogues.

But the guy has some standards so that's pretty much why you don't see him dating certain guys especially those who see the exile in him

This penguino definitely radiates big brother vibes and he is one. You'll definitely see him acting all brotherly towards younger characters like Agyo and Zhurong and especially towards the mcs

MC4 always has to watch MC3's ass and stop him from flirting to every hot guy he sees. MC4: GO TO HORNY JAIL! *bonk!* MC3: Ow!

MC3 tells his love stories to my duck mc and she is honestly traumatized because of it. MC3: So let me tell you the time I woke up in bed with two guy- DuckMC: I DEMAND THAT YOU SPEAK NO FURTHER

But she admires the penguin and the two have a pretty good sibling relationship :)

So he's a big flirtatious waddling penguin and if you're close to him platonically he's your big bro

MC4 - Falcon

For the skinny man himself I've decided to make him a falcon specifically a prairie falcon. Ngl he was so hard for me to find a perfect bird match because originally I was gonna make a mallard duck but I thought no that ain't right so I chose the falcon.

This Falcon loves to observe everything like you'll see him at 4 am in the morning just watching through the window just everything that surrounds him fascinates him ✨

And out of all the mcs he's the most chillest and doesn't get into trouble as the others do. He's also one of the mature ones, making the sense out of everyone.

He's also a nerd he's like smart and is quite knowledgeable about his interests which is anime and manga so he definitely gets along with the akihabara group and MC5 who's also a fellow nerd

Him and MC5 get along pretty well as MC5 can tolerate him and the two share an interest in anime and manga.

He and my duck mc definitely get along and he would grab her with his talons and give the duckling a little flight.

MC5 - Owl

Last but not least I'm gonna make MC5 an owl more specifically a eurasian eagle-owl. I decided to choose this bird because I thought it looks grumpy like how I thought MC5 looked grumpy so I put the two together.

Our owl buddy here is tired of everything. He's tired of everyone's bs and is always on the verge of going apeshit. Now that doesn't mean he's mean he's just salty towards those who are assholes or just generally annoying.

Now while he is mature but there will be times where he does stupid shit because he's just over it like in rugrats when Stu Pickles is making chocolate pudding at 4 in the morning. MC4: MC5 what are you doing? MC5: Making chocolate pudding. MC4: It's four o'clock in the morning, why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? MC5: …Because I've lost control of my life.

As owls are depicted as nerds, this one is no exception towards it. You'll definitely see this owl hanging upside down while reading a manga that he just started. And there are moments where he is binge watching all the episodes of his favorite anime in one night.

He and MC1 are the typical siblings as they both hate and annoy each other as well as loving each other in the end. MC1 pulling pranks on him and MC5 getting his vengeance on him. Then the two sleeping together in their bird cage.

My duck mc is one of the few people he likes and can tolerate. He definitely worries a lot for her and gets annoyed when she gets into trouble. The owl always rambles about his interests to her and she always listen cause she's a good duckling :)

So to end it there he's a nerdy tired owl 🦉

OKAY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO FINISH WTF 😭

[redrascal1]

I still miss Ben Solo.

I even miss Kylo Ren.

On reddit recently there were a number of people arguing that there was no way Ben/Kylo could survive the end of the sequel trilogy because of 'what he had done.'

This is not reality. This is fantasy.

It isn't an autobiography. It isn't a film inspired by true events.

It is a fantasy.

Fantasy is about escapism.

It is about dreams coming true, the impossible becoming possible.

If you apply the laws of reality to fantasy, then Han Solo would have been jailed for piracy, Leia would not have been allowed to marry a 'commoner', Poe Dameron would have been court martialled and not promoted, and Rey would have been refused entry into an order which valued perfection because of her kill list and her fondness for attacking unarmed opponents.

And we wouldn't have been laughing at the antics of Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo in What we Do In The Shadows because all three of them are remorseless killers.

Anyone remember the tv series Once Upon A Time? Two of its most memorable characters - Killian Jones, aka Captain Hook, and Mr Gold, aka Rumplestilskin, were also two of its most vicious.

Killian murdered Prince Charming's father in cold blood, as well as being a ruthless pirate for years. Mr Gold murdered countless innocents as well as his own wife. But both characters redeemed themselves and got their happy endings with the women they loved - Emma Swan and Belle.

Because fantasy isn't the real world but a place we can go to feel good.

Supreme irony....Disney made OUAT. The same Disney that also made films like Beauty and the Beast, a truly beautiful film with perhaps the happiest ending of all time.

Disney were the home of happy endings.

What has happened to them?

Some people are they've gone 'woke'.

Some argue it's the influence of Iger and Kennedy.

Whatever.

But at the end of the day the 'whys' don't matter.

All that matters is Disney have forever tainted themselves by taking one of the greatest space fantasies of all time - and turning it into a horror story.

The demonic uber villain rises from the dead and finally achieves his goal of killing off the Skywalkers (and Solos).

And Disney breathtakingly feel that replacing them with the demonic villian's granddaughter is a 'hopeful and satisfying' ending.

I still miss Ben Solo.

[unchataparis]

Thoughts on Le Dernier Jour (The Final Day)

I haven’t watched any episode of Season 5 past Exaltation last year, because according to Thomas Astruc, waiting will really make it worth it.

I do want to watch all of Season 5 before the Miraculous movie comes out, however, as the film will heavily spoil the ending of Season 5 according to Julian Zag, which means I am really looking forward to bingeing Season 5 in a couple of days when it's eventually released on Disney Plus.

But, I was scrolling through my YouTube recommendations today, and saw the trailer for the double-episode finale Le Jour Dernier, and thought: why not? How badly can I be spoiled if it's just a trailer? And – boy, I did not need to be worried about getting spoiled because I have absolutely no idea what is going on. Some incidents has gone down in the preceding episodes, that has wildly derailed Miraculous from the storyline I know it as.

Most prominently:

Did this man put his own son in psych ward? With Kagami? What on Earth is going on? I certainly hope this isn’t proving the theory that both Adrien and Kagami are Sentibeings, because I do not have the energy to explore that narrative. But Adrien isn’t wearing his Miraculous anymore – was he found out? And what is Gabriel hoping to achieve by pushing one of his Alliance rings at him?

Is it now a brain-washing device? A tracking device?

Gabriel is monitoring both Adrien and Kagami’s vitals, are they ill? Or is he expecting the result of some experiment? Neither of them look very well as an off-mention.

The trailer does show Marinette wearing what appears to be both the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculous, transformed and battling Monarch to boot, so was Adrien’s Miraculous removed from him and is in Marinette’s custody? I’m glad Monarch doesn’t have it at least.

It’s a cool idea, but I’m not particularly fond of it; I know that Marinette wearing both the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculous, thus elevating to some divine, higher being, has been a popular trope in the fandom since Season 1, but it honestly seems like giving Marinette far too much agency, and, even in the scopes of a cartoon, unrealistic power. Like in Season 3, Chasseuse de Kwamis, where Marinette wore all the Miraculous minus the Peafowl and the Butterfly, and Master Fu remarks that she is the first hero in the history of the Miraculous to do so.

Really? That doesn’t seem like it’s true. Is it just Master Fu’s favouritism influencing his memory? Because previous Miraculous holders were adults and soldiers, battling wars, supernatural beings, and superhuman enemies, surely a fourteen-year-old girl from Paris couldn’t have triumphed five thousand years of remarkable individuals all by herself? 

I do also fear that Marinette having both Miraculous means that she will save the day single-handedly again, which – kudos to her, I can’t blame the writers for having a favourite, but it really does not look good for Adrien at this point.

Marinette is aware that Adrien has gone missing, locked up in Gabriel's multi-use mansion which can function as everything from a house, a jail, an underground villain lair, and a party venue. If this dream sequence of Marinette charging to rescue her damsel-in-distress (linguistically the right term) is any indication, I assume she doesn’t know it’s Gabriel’s fault otherwise she would’ve knocked down his front door. 

From all these screen-captures of the Parisian Miraculous Team in various states of despair, I assume there’s going to be once again a city-wide event which impacts and drains everyone. It seems significant how every one of their locations is a place of personal significance: Nino seems to be at the same street where he realised, in Larme Ultime, that Rena Rouge may be cheating on him with Chat Noir, Kim at the swimming pool, Max the brainiac in their homeroom, and Sabrina in Chloé’s closet (lmao).

Does this hint at another possibility of an all-out battle royale like in Penalteam? I hope so, Penalteam was so cool. And if the writers could up the fight scenes and choreography even a bit from that episode, they could cinch Miraculous’ place in 3D animation history.

Judging by the half-broken moon, a Chat Blanc reference :)?

I love Chat Blanc, he’s the best Akumatized victim thus far, and if he takes a step onto the battlefield against Monarch, even for a man with fourteen Miraculous on his side, that’s going to be a challenge. Just as how Marinette awakens from a dream of saving Adrien, Adrien seems to be rousing from this rust-sky, broken moon nightmare, is he remembering his alternate self from another universe? If Adrien and Chat Blanc manages to have a conversation together (hopefully one that doesn't involves Marinette/Ladybug) that'll be a bingo-stamp for the Unrealistic Miraculous Expectations card.

Plagg carrying Adrien's Ring away, yep: seems like he's delivering it to Marinette.

Marinette seems to lose an initial battle against Monarch with this ominous flickering scene –

– Adrien and Kagami are announced at large, and –

Who is this??

I thought it was Socqueline at first, judging by the hair and the glasses, but that is very much Lila's face and eyes and lips. Has she disguised herself as Socqueline? If so, for what purpose? (Nice leather jacket by the way, very femme fatale.) Or, is it – building on the rumours I've gandered about Lila in Season 5 so far – did Socqueline never exist and was only an instrument of Lila's conniving? That doesn't sound too farfetched for Miraculous actually.

But Miss Cerise does appear in the trailer, looking smug as she always does. Lila has much more of a presence in this season compared to the previous, happily, I look forward to seeing her more than anything else when I finally watch Season 5 :). That, and seeing Adrien in action again.

Final thoughts: It's a little concerning that Chloé didn't show up once in the trailer. Neither did Félix for that matter, for two people that are deeply important to the plot. I know it's difficult for the writers to include everyone in an integral manner with a forty-minute plot, but considering Chloé and Félix's characters and contribution to the series, I hope their non-appearance is because they didn't have the space to fit them in, and not because they're completely absent.

[erigold13261]

Dumb headcanons

1. Eve, Zuke and West have hair care weekends both as a way to make amends (also have you seen these peoples hair) and because it's fun

2. Tatiana loves Hot sauce like a lot, like she'll just drink directly from the bottle

3. Haym is huge DreamWorks fan ( because they make more furry movies than Disney)

4. DJ loves painting thier nails it's free euphoria and sometimes Sofa and Dodo join in

5. To Everyone's surprise Yinu doesn't hate West, in fact she thinks his knowledge of nature is cool, she just doesn't like the way he acts (she also bit him once because he wanted to find out if the flowers on her head feel like hair or flowers)

6. Mama loves a series of unfortunate events and will fight people saying it's better than harry potter

7. Mayday loves hugs but only if the person she's hugging is Okay with them

8. West actually needs reading glasses he just refuses to wear them because he thinks he looks stupid

9. J and Eve are never to left alone with a fire extinguisher because the last time they were Tatiana had to bail them out of jail

10. 1010 love Danny phantom it's the first show they all watched

1). Zimelu, Celine, and Yinu join them at times! Sometimes Sayu and Tila too! They all learn how to take care of and properly style different hair textures. It becomes a gossip party and I can even see henna art and makeup/facials being done at times.

2). That is definitely something she use to do a LOT when she was younger. Now she tries to eat very healthily, but there are times she just takes a quick chug from a hot sauce bottle she has.

3). You better believe Haym watched Puss in Boots: The Last Wish on REPEAT once he got it. He has every DreamWorks animated film, especially the ones with animals.

4). I just love the idea that DJ, Tila, and Remi teach Sofa and Dodo how to properly paint their nails with fun techniques and stuff. Tila and Remi don't paint their nails anymore, but that doesn't stop the two from hanging out with DJ, Sofa, and Dodo when they are painting their nails.

5). I never even would have assumed Yinu would have hated West. Mama? Yes. But Yinu? Not really. She wouldn't really understand why he is hated/unliked by a lot of people since he seems so cool to her. She would love his shadow puppet along with talking about him on his farm.

But yes, she would have bit him if he just touched her flowers in her hair. Especially if he did it too soon after meeting her (which I do think he did). Mainly it was because he pulled too hard when touching and accidentally hurt Yinu, but thankfully she isn't venomous so West got lucky. Mama on the other hand made sure he knew she is venomous and willing to bite him if he messed with her daughter again.

6). I'm assuming you meant if someone said Harry Potter was better than A Series of Unfortunate Events. I don't really know either franchise well enough, especially ASOUE, but I can see her getting really defensive over media she likes and people trying to bash it.

7). Well it's a good thing both Haym and Eve are super okay with hugs and also very good huggers. Especially Haym. Eve once left a cuddling session with Haym and May to go to an interview/event and when she came back hours later the two were still cuddling.

8). Oh Purl would take so much offense to that if they found that out lol. They would be asking West if he thought they looked like a nerd with their glasses (and West would say yes but in an affectionate way). Purl would get West to wear his glasses, or at least get contacts (and then have to make sure West took care of them). I doubt West would ever get truly use to them, but he'd at least wear them/the contacts when Purl or Cyril are doing something important for him to see.

9). Honestly, yes and no. Like the two would DEFINITELY be making stupid plans to do some stunt, but also would be TERRIFIED to actually do it. But then a little push comes to shove and low and behold they did their stupid idea and now have to face their consequences and Tatiana.

I bet you one of 1010 told Tatiana. Because obviously Eve and Neon have enough funds to bail themselves out, but having Tatiana reprimand them would make them not do stupid shit again (the disappointment on Tatiana's face will forever haunt the two).

10). Hmm, maybe as MKs! But I would say their first SHOW would have been either the Lights Up show or some documentary of the Goolings that Neon showed them as kids. But as MKs I can them as not having watched a lot of TV on their own, at least until the Sayu Crew or Yinu came to visit/hang out with them for the first times.

One of the two would have asked to watch cartoons on their big TV and 1010 said sure, go for it, and that is how Danny Phantom got into their house, their brains, and their hearts lol. It was definitely liked by all of 1010, and though it may not have stayed their favorite show, it is definitely up there for all of them!

[inapat17]

Pirate of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) or why do we go on an adventure 1/2.

            In 2003, movies and pirates were not a good match. If the pirate movie was extremely popular during the 1950s, pirates were not made to be blockbuster heroes. In 1995 Cutthroat Island directed by Renny Harlin was a huge failure at the box office and headed Carolco - producer of Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall - to bankruptcy.  Therefore, when Disney decided to adapt the famous ride Pirate of Caribbean it was kind of a jump into the ocean. Mickeal Eisner, Disney’s CEO back then even tried to stop the production after Paul Hasting’s The Country Bears failed, thinking the Pirate of Caribbean movie would be a complete disaster. That is when Verbinsky decided to commit a mutiny and continue the preproduction. When he showed the designs and the story-board to Eisner, the captain of the Disney company agreed to continue the production but made it invisible that it was a Disney film. When the movie got released during the summer 2003 it earned more than $988 million for a budget – without marketing – of $140 million which was a great loot for a dead genre. Looking at the film, it seems the genre is symbolized by the Pearl’s crew, dead but alive through VFX, their adventure to do the film. 

              Story wise, it tells the adventure of Will(iam) Turner – Orlando Bloom – forced to piracy after the government chose to not chase the Black Pearl right after she and its crew attacked Port Royal and kept Elizabeth Swan – Keira Knightley –, the governor’s daughter, on the ship. She, at first, used the right of Parlay to talk to the captain Barbossa – Geoffrey Rush – and threaten to drop her medallion into the ocean. Medallion that is the object the Pearl’s crew sick to lift the curse.  Captain Jack Sparrow – sadly Johnny Depp before we all knew that he is not playing the part with all the women in Tortuga arrives right before the attack in Port Royal looking for a ship to also chase captain Barbossa who committed a mutiny and stole his ship. But because he is a pirate the commodore James Norrigton – Jack Davenport – sends him to jail. Will broke him free and stole one of Norrington’s ships and forced him to chase them and so the Royal navy chased the Pearl. After that necessary summary it seems clear that each of the characters have a different reason to go on this adventure on the Caribbean Sea. But in comparison to the story of the production the first movie of the Pirate of the Caribbean saga can be read as a meta-film about its own making. Will is the alter-ego of Gore Verbinsky, the son of a pirate that he does not know and trying at first to do things the right way but when the government which portrayed Eisner and Disney tells him he has to stop and not persue his quest, Will, a craftsman which is an adjective that can easily be said of Verbinsky’s work, goes rogue and becomes a pirate. Then, the sword forged by Will that Norringhton gets at the beginning of the movie can be seen as movie Verbinsky has done in the past for the studios like Ring (2002) but even if it is good work he is not seen as the person responsible for the success but the producers are. Verbinsky even makes a joke about producer by making the person in charge of Will’s shop sleeping and only putting the final blow to Jack before he is arrested. When Will is introduced as a grown up he shows the word to the governor and he asks to Will to congratulate his boss. It is literally the producer not seeing the craft as the director work but as a creation of another man.  Talking about the captain Jack Sparrow, he is the idea of a pirate that Hollywood created during the golden age: he drinks rum, he always overcomes challenges by lying and twisting people’s mind. Then when he gets imprisoned, he is not freed by the pirate’s attack, which represents the whole genre, but by Will. All happened as if Verbinsky freed the pirate to go on the adventure. Indeed, Pirate of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl makes pirates enter the twentieth century: the characters make a lot of jokes entwined with great action; it has a post-generic sequence… All of a typical Marvel movie but only better because there is something Verbinsky does differently: he believes in his character, in the story he is telling and in the action he does. Then the producer will always remember this movie as the time they almost cancelled one of the most grossing films of all time. 

              After this first set piece: Jack and Will’s fight and the Port Royal attack, the film brakes all the rules of pirate’s movie. Actually, the purpose of the pirate is not looting a treasure but putting it back where he belongs. Then what’s the purpose of the adventure? What does the pirate seek? What does the Curse mean? I will answer this question in my next article! Stay tuned!

Pierre Borowczak

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

April 23, 2024

THONG BIKINIS — CHEEKS AHOY, RIO COMES TO ZION

Remember the “Girl from Ipanema?” In Brazil they've been wearing thong bikinis for quite a while now. You've seen the pictures, all those tanned butts up and down the beach. That's what you expect in Rio de Janeiro. Well Wilson, it's hard to believe but thong bikinis have come to the states — and even right here in Utah you see bare butts all over the place. Rio comes to Zion. Luckily the “Word of Wisdom” has nothing to say about thong bikinis. And we're not talkin' one here and there. Go to the park and take a gander at the young women sunning themselves. It's butts up. No Wilson, we don't know if there is a special butt-tanning lotion, but there could be a good business opportunity there. You could call it Cheeks Ahoy. Makes you wonder what young kids are going to think around the pool come summer. Hey mom, why is that lady's butt hanging out? Look away, Bobby. But mom, why does she have that thing in her butt crack? Bobby here's some money go get a candy bar and don't hurry. Butt-crack bikinis can be attractive — or not. Beautiful butts are in the eyes of the beholder. Speaking of which, there's trouble on the horizon. Hold on to your California baggies, soon men will be wearing thong bikinis. Yecht. You're right, Wilson, that's just wrong.

TIME TO KILL OFF THE HOMELESS

There are too many homeless people and it's high time we get rid of them. They're camping everywhere and using parks for restrooms and they drive real estate down. The U.S. Supreme Court soon will consider making homelessness illegal. The idea would be to ticket them and fine them and even jail them. HUD estimates there are some 650,000 homeless but the reality is closer to 1 million. Luckily there are some good ideas out there. One is to drive them like cattle to Canada. Another is to hire the Israelis and force them into the sea, kinda like Gaza. Or we could just send them all to Phoenix, Ariz. where they would soon burn up. But right now homelessness is legal following a ruling from the 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals: “[T]he Cruel and Unusual Punishments Clause of the Eighth Amendment precludes the enforcement of a statute prohibiting sleeping outside against homeless individuals with no access to alternative shelter.” If the Supreme Court lets that ruling stand the whole country could look like San Francisco or New Delhi. Of course, about the time Ronald Reagan moved into the White House homeless people were hard to find. But what's the sense in talking about what causes homelessness when we can just outlaw it and send them to the Galapagos.

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

Salt Lake City's Rio Grande district is a miracle waiting to happen... and waiting and waiting and waiting. Walt Disney took a barren chunk of land in Souther California and turned it into a magic wonderland. Well image the magic makeover the mayor and city could could do for the Rio Grande district — once home to the homeless and an open-air drug market. You may be pleased to know there are brand new plans for the area just west of the historic Rio Grande Depot. It's going to be swell — even more sweller than the last plan that wasn't implemented. It'll be something like Bourbon Street in New Orleans sans the Bourbon and the beads. With a cost $5 billion it will be so cool as to be unbelievable. Many of the details are under wraps, but sources who wished to remain anonymous tell Smart Bomb that plans include coordinating transportation systems with a wild mouse connecting Front Runner to the light rail — people could jump off at Festival Street. OK, what is Festival Street? Much like Main Street U.S.A. at Disneyland, it will feature fun stuff for the whole family, like Mr. Toads bridal gowns, Bear County lingerie and Frontierland Gun Shop. But like it has been for decades, plans remain in flux. For updates check back in 2028. It's going to be so cooooool. Just wait.

Lost script — Alright that's going to do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of the room temperature at Trump's “hush-money” porn star trial so you don't have to. Fact is, it's just damn cold in there. But even with the AC on blast the former president keeps dozing off. His defense team is working feverishly to come up with ways to keep him awake, including putting chili powder in his Gucci loafers and Bengay in his Jockeys. Something burning? Here's an item from our “New Celebs”-file. “The Devil Wears Prada” and so does Caitlin Clark. At the presser where she announced signing with the Indiana Fever, the b-ball scoring phenom who was No. 1 in the WNBA draft, was outfitted by — you guessed it — Prada. She cut a stylish figure sporting a double white satin shirt and skirt with an embroidered rhinestone mesh top — the first basketball player to be dressed by the luxury label for draft night. Prada isn't paying her, but Nike is. Clark has reportedly signed a eight-year, 28 million dollar deal with the shoemaker. That should help make up for her $76,000 WNBA salary. Just imagine, five years ago she was a kid trying out for the Iowa women's basketball team. You're right Wilson, that's one heck of an education.

Well Wilson, swimsuit season is upon us. Soon there will be a lot of flesh on display. At the pool and the park young folks will be working on tans and the side-effect called skin cancer. Utah has the highest skin cancer rate in the nation. For real. But forget that for a minute and get the band to play a little something for our soon-to-be thong-wearing friends:

Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking And when she passes Each one she passes goes - ah When she walks, she's like a samba That swings so cool and sways so gentle That when she passes Each one she passes goes - ooh But I watch her so sadly How can I tell her I love her Yes I would give my heart gladly But each day, when she walks to the sea She looks straight ahead, not at me Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking And when she passes, I smile But she doesn't see She just doesn't see, she never sees me...

(Girl From Ipanema — Lyrics written in Portuguese by Vinicius de Moraes, 1962, with music by Antonio Carlos Jobin. English lyrics written by Norman Gimbel, 1963.)

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

Its been a busy week at the day job. We’ve been working on some new stuff due to go out the door soon. I’ll be working over the weekend doing some testing to help wrap up our sprint.

I also managed to drop a new Beta of Stream this week. I haven’t heard anything positive or negative about it, but I also haven’t checked to see if anyone has installed it. 🤣

I’m hoping I can put a nice bow on this release soon. 🤞🏼

Evan Hurst • Wonkette

He’s just trying to warn us all. Be careful what you wish for. If you put Donald Trump in prison for massive crimes he committed while in office — the ones he’s indicted for involve plotting to overthrow the literal fucking Republic in order to stay in power after he lost re-election — then it just stands to reason that Barack Obama will go to jail and George W. Bush will go to jail and Crooked Joe Biden will go to jail.

Our Republic is 246-years old. We’ve had 46 Presidents in that time. Never had a President tried to overturn the results of an election. Until The Orange Menace arrived on the scene.

He’s a narcissistic rapist with authoritarian tendencies whose only pursuit is his own power and wealth at the cost of everything else.

He’s a master manipulator who projects his every mistake and crime on others.

He doesn’t deserve immunity from his crimes. The President is not above the law and it’s high time he’s held to account.

The sad thing is, if he becomes President again, all of his crimes will be swept under the rug and our great 246 year experiment will end.

If he loses? He most likely goes to prison.

Molly White • Citation Needed

Attempts to create alternatives have all failed, he says, before going on to describe several projects that are very much still in use, such as the RSS and ActivityPub protocols, or federated social media projects like Mastodon. RSS is dead, he repeats endlessly throughout the book.

I listened to Dixon on a recent episode of the Pivot Podcast and he seems somewhat disconnected from reality about certain things. Like his insistence RSS and other open protocols are “dead.” He sounds like a man trying to shoehorn solutions into web3 and blockchain.

Can someone explain to me how blockchain is going to replace my RSS feed and somehow make it better? I’m serious, I don’t get it, and maybe I should?

Anil Dash

You’ve heard the call to action at the end of nearly every podcast you’ve ever listened to: “Listen to us on your favorite podcast app”, or in the phrasing of podcaster extraordinare Roman Mars, “…wherever you find podcasts”.

Podcasting is a prime example of an existing — “old” — technology working perfectly to keep an entire ecosystem out of the hands of the VC’s and BigCo’s. Sure, VC’s and BigCo’s can have podcasts and podcast networks, but so can a nobody like me with the ability to record my voice, make an MP3, and make it an attachment to an RSS file.

Heck, chances are you’re reading this via my “dead” RSS feed.

Brent Simmons

Why NetNewsWire Isn’t Available for Vision Pro

Brent is a pretty pragmatic fellow and his reason for NetNewsWire not supporting Vision Pro are spot on. If you don’t have the hardware to support the effort, don’t risk making a poor product or experience for your users. Even if it’s open sourced and free.

John Calhoun

Tom Dowdy was a software engineer at Apple back in 1995 when I was still writing Macintosh games in Lawrence, Kansas.

Shannon Liao • Inverse

Disney Buys A $1.5 Billion Stake in Fortnite Maker, Plans for New Game Universes

Is this Disney’s foray into the Metaverse? It has such interesting intellectual property and we know they’re making content for Vision Pro. What are they really up to? 🤔

Casey Newton • Platformer

Within days, Bluesky was home to both Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Dril. It wasn’t clear what Bluesky was for exactly, but most people there seemed to be having a good time, and that was enough to convince more than 3 million people to at least try it.

I have a Bluesky account, I mean, of course I do. I love me some Twitter-like social media. I also have a Threads account. For me, however, I’ve found Mastodon more to my liking. I have great conversations on Mastodon and I’ve been there since 2018, at least (I was on a different instance way back but I forgot which one. 😂)

I use Threads because the few famous people I like to follow are there and I can’t find them here, which is a real drag, but that’s how it is. If Threads ever federates I’ll happily follow Threads folks on Mastodon.

As for Bluesky, a lot of the folks I followed on Twitter have settled there, so I’ve followed a few I can’t find elsewhere.

One thing I really love about Bluesky is being able to use my own domain to identify myself. I’m @fahrni.me there.

NASCAR

Rajah Caruth to drive Spire Motorsports’ No. 71 Chevrolet full-time in Truck Series

I couldn’t be happier for Rajah. He’s one of my favorite Truck Series drivers and he lost his ride at the end of the 2023 season. I’m happy to know he landed at Spire.

Evan Martin

Cross compiling Rust to win32

Looks mighty painful to get cross compiling working, but once you’re done I’m sure it feels good.

If you’re interested in using Rust for Windows development you can get language support right from Microsoft.

Frank Morris • NPR

The Kansas City Chiefs are undefeated at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas, and Gerard DeCosta, a construction worker who lives in Hawaii, says that may have something to do with him.

Believe in curses? Sports folks are prone to believing them. This is a great story and good for a laugh.

I’m taking the 49’ers this weekend but according to this article they don’t stand a chance. 😆