#why did i think this was ianthe

[lizarddealer]

Nothing like being haunted by the voice of ianthe tridentarius saying “add a few teaspoons of salt, then it will taste like salt” as I repeatedly salt soup, as I attempt to make said soup actually taste like something.

[lesbianamalvada]

i'm reading harrow the ninth, i loved the first book but this one has second person pov which sucks! except sometimes it's funny, funnier than I thought harrow would be tbh. Idk I'm getting used to it, i'll tell y'all how I like it.

[brotherslayer]

I think they fucked if you even care 💅

[vaguely-concerned]

that last scene in fatal journey where nie huaisang has to support nie mingjue for him to keep upright, harrowhark's arc in harrow the ninth*, and the 'O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven/Keep me in temper: I would not be mad' line from king lear all break my heart in exactly the same way. that precise thread of the ultimate, hopeless vulnerability and confusion that's at the heart of madness -- of realizing in glimpses that you won't even realize how far you've drifted from yourself and that you don't know how to stop it, you can't stop it. that's such a core part of nie mingjue to me, and I don't feel like I've seen a lot of real discussion around it considering how central I think it is to his character.

*also like harrow, nie mingjue is both 'mad' (im mentally ill. I'm reclaiming it. sometimes that does feel like exactly the right word for it) and also like. severely haunted. by a sword even lmao. they've even got the 'crushing weight of shouldering the responsibility of their entire house given to them at way too early an age under horrifically traumatizing circumstances' same hat/same hat! thing going on here. omg. nie mingjue is like if harrow was a big sensitive jock who cries at the drop of a hat and harrow is like if nie mingjue was a small wet ratwoman who does bones and catholic guilt. but the core is basically the same. I can't believe I'm right about this.

[thatneoncrisis]

could you explain your reasoning for butch harrow? im asking this in a way a student asks a master

ok so. up top: do i think harrow is butch in canon? no. god no. absolutely not. secret third category of person. not butch or femme shes just like A Guy who really fucking likes black

however i do think that between those two ends of a nebulous spectrum, being butch would be way more comfortable for her than femme, if we think of it in the most traditional sense for both sides. there are literally exceptions to every rule femmes can have short hair and wear pants, butches can have long hair and wear makeup yadda yadda. but the way she interacts with certain elements of her presentation in canon just felt to ME, PERSONALLY, that being traditionally feminine would freak her the fuck out

ive seen people compare her compulsion to wear the skull paint to a need to wear makeup and i. very much disagree. id see it more as like, an overtly religious thing, like a nuns habit or a hijab, its modesty and how she shows respect for her god, also routine, its as natural as putting on pants for her. and also frankly if it was an analog for traditional makeup that would be uuuuh awful. like I genuinely feel terrible for women who cannot even leave the house without foundation or contouring or whatever i dont know shit about makeup but holy fuck. if shes femme in that analog id be shaking her by the shoulders GIRL. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE A NAKED ANIMAL

another thing is her hair. so many people read her having short hair and immediately went to a bob or a pixie cut. and between tamsyns inconsistent description of the length of her hair in book one (saying its stuck to her face with sweat despite them being there for like, a month) and the htn cover being The best image we have of her, i understand that conclusion. but in the beginning of gtn its said its close cropped, tamsyn said on her blog post describing all the characters its "cut short (as benefits someone in a monestary)" which is a very interesting choice of words tbh. like im sute she didnt mean harrow is completely bald in the middle with a ring of hair but that Is the monk haircut. and then finally harrow says to gideon outright "i wont cut you bald-even though your hair is ridiculous- because I know you wont shave it every day" which i always took to mean being shaved down to the scalp is just how the ninth is traditionally. in harrow the ninth its said "occasionally ticklish rasps at your ears or forehead would frighten you numb before you realized ut was your own hair" indicating that she is not used to that length at all. also theres the fact that ianthe made her hair grow faster particularly to fuck with her. in short harrows haircut is shitty and utilitarian and any fussing with it has only been described in relation to her direct discomfort

finally theres that goddamn dress scene. why did ianthe put her in that stupid fucking thing. humilation tactic (im exaggerating but it basically was explicitly and exclusively for ianthes own amusement). shes such a simple girl, she just wanted something that could cover her up. its not impossible to have a longsleeved formless dress, but beyond my own opinion that i think harrow would have been uncomfortable in anything, i think the fact this like, explicit symbol of femininity is used to further degrade her in some sense in a room full of people who font reapect her feels like. intentional on the authors end. it quite literally just isnt her, its not even a true black its like a deep midnight blue. you get the pretty woman makeover scene but harrow comes out of it more miserable and resigned than ever. augustines approval means nothing. she looks in the mirror and sees her mother, a woman she appears to not have a single fond memory about. its all very sad

tldr when i talk about butch harrow its less about her "being butch" and more about how unfemme i think she is. also i want more butch4butch dykes i think gideon and camilla should teach her how to tie a tie.

[feverdreamdrifting]

TLT Tumblr Simulator

MUTUAL 1: I love women who look like they’re dying of consumption

MUTUAL 2: why did harrow put that bread in a drawer? does she think drawers are where you store bread? was she worried about the open air getting to it? has she ever had bread before? had gideon ever had bread before?

MUTUAL 3: *homestuck posting on main in the year 2023*

MUTUALS 4 AND 5:

MUTUAL 6: if griddlehark doesn’t happen i am going to kill myself

MUTUAL 7: *talking about some tlt character you didn’t even know existed*

MUTUAL 8: I am so excited to read the next chapter of mutual 5’s fic!

MUTUAL 9: it’s about the bones… the rot…. the ambience….

MUTUAL 10: *this post contains filtered tags: #chussy*

MUTUAL 11: haha guys what else should I read now. surely there must be something else out there that can fill the tlt void… right?

MUTUAL 12: I want wet rat girl ianthe tridentarius to *****************

[themildestofwriters]

I'll never understand Tamlin antis who are so tied up in their hate for him they just straight up refuse to acknowledge one of the big twists of ACOWAR when interpreting his actions *during* ACOWAR.

Like, I'm not saying you have to like the guy, but G-ddamn. It's almost wilful ignorance how they ignore the fact that he was a double agent the whole bloody time.

There's also the fact that, quite clearly, in Feyre's narration no less, his motivations are further explained as an intense drive to protect his people from Hybern. Like, why are so many people caught up on the whole "He whipped his sentry!" thing when you have Feyre right there telling us that the only reason he did it was to prevent Hybern from thinking he was weak and therefore it would be better to conquer Spring rather than simply ally with it.

The book outright tells you why he whipped his sentry and yet this idea perseveres that Tamlin... what? Couldn't handle being questioned? I don't understand. The book tells us why he did it. Why are we still making up reasons for why he did it?

Tamlin is wearing a mask in ACOWAR. He needs to pretend to be a leal hound of Hybern's order. He can't do that, however, if he is constantly taking issue with everything Hybern does or wants him to do. If he wants to maintain his alliance, he needs to show himself to be strong in the way Hybern views strength. If he wants to be a double agent, he needs to earn their trust. He can't do either of those things if he's constantly fighting over tortured mortals and accused sentries.

It doesn't help that half the trouble Tamlin is having maintaining this mask is directly caused by Feyre putting him in situations where he must choose between the alliance and his status as double agent or doing the right thing in that moment. He wouldn't have had to whip the sentry if Feyre hadn't let Ianthe steal the keys (and, yes, Feyre *let* Ianthe do that, because she watched the whole thing happened and could have intervened at any time), and had Feyre not provoked Ianthe by committing Divine Fraud.

For as much as Feyre says she wishes she could have prevented the whole thing, she's lying to the sentries and she's lying to herself, because the sentry was whipped because that's what Feyre wanted. She wanted to destroy Tamlin's relationship with his sentries and this whole situation was all but set up by her for that purpose. Feyre gets to act like the champion for arguing against injustice — an injustice she let happen and provoked for her own ambitions — while Tamlin is condemned because whipping the sentry is the only way to protect his people from a worse fate, and the only way to continue his role as double agent (which played a major role in the downfall of Hybern itself).

I don't know. For people who seem to like the series so much, they seem awfully keen on just ignoring whole swaths of context so they can make up reasons to hate a fictional character. It's really annoying to, because they can't just be quiet about their fanfiction. They gotta bring it up everywhere, even in serious discussion about the series, and they'll insult you for your takes solely because Tamlin is "abusive," as if that changes anything.

[beedreamscape]

Tamsyn is no short of a mad genius

Copied from here.

How did you come up with Ianthe's personality? She's absolutely horrible, terrifying, and uniquely funny at the same time.

I love Ianthe and could write a lot about Ianthe, but one central thing I am doing with Ianthe is playing around with a trope male characters often get to be, and one frequently found in slash but so little for the lesbians: Ianthe is in many ways my gay Draco In Leather Pants. (There's a reason she calls Harrow Harry!) The Draco In Leather Pants trope -- the hyper-privileged, drawling blonde with daddy issues who sulks erotically in a corner -- is perpetually male. Here, it's Ianthe. And Ianthe blows -- she'll never be a true Draco In Leather Pants because although the DILP gets great sassy lines, very few of them are aimed at himself. Ianthe's humanity -- what there is of it -- comes from having a sense of humour; it is why she is sympathetic and also why she is dangerous.

Ianthe is another character who sprung, horrible and fully-formed, the moment I knew her situation. She has always been the way she was, as has Coronabeth, and as has Naberius. All three of the Third inform each other -- and Ianthe, the shadow queen of the trio, was herself from day one. The only thing she missed was nearly being called 'Abella'. I think that was a hangover from the days when I wanted everyone's name to have syllables matching their house.

[cemetegee]

Ianthe is The Underling

One thing that's very interesting about Ianthe Tridentarius - because it seems absolutely contrary to her character - is the fact, that she is very obliged to higher authorities.

That's even a thing Ianthe and Harrow talk about. Harrow asks her if she'd never think to herself "When did the princess of Ida become this groveling slime." (The answer is btw. that she has nearly always been this groveling slime). She answers that it's all cold calculation to survive.

But that's a lie. She shows that trust in authorities and that blind obedience even in situations, where she has absolutely no use (or even gets serious damage of it).

For example- Ianthe, why did you actually kill your cav? I mean, it seems like a terribly wrong thing to do, don't you think? This can't be right.

Oh, I understand. You did it, because... the Emperor said it was right.

You know, what I mean with blind obedience, don't you?

It's very likely a result of her daddy (or, maybe more exactly, parental) issues, but it's still despite of that interesting. Because it shows her insultings of the Emperor (maybe also her mockery about her parents in a different light.

When you serve someone, and that someone does bad/not nice things to you, and you can't tell that immediatly to that person, you start to wear a groveling hate around with you. That's where Ianthe's blasphemia comes from. Not coolness or atheism. But obedience.

[katakaluptastrophy]

Abigail Pent literally brought her husband, and look where that got her!

Oh, I can't be normal about this...

Ianthe is saying all of the quiet parts out loud about cavaliership in the Nine Houses:

She says "the cavalier’s job is to die for the necromancer" (Palamedes tries to gloss this to "protect the necromancer", but concedes that "if this entails their own death, then they're expected to accept that"). She talks about Naberius as a commodity, procured at birth, raised for a purpose, modifiable and disposable at will.

She wants to make it clear that she was terribly clever and has no regrets. Which is obviously why she's been thinking about two people she deems "dull and stupid" to the extent that they're her main touchpoint for explaining her position and that she name checks both of them, separately, during her responses... (poor Magnus).

Because the Fifth represent the opposite of how things turned out for the Third: an incidental cavaliership to a relationship of two equals who chose each other (against social currents, quite possibly on several counts). Ianthe made a choice at Canaan House. And Abigail made choices eleven and five years before that. And Ianthe has been thinking about those choices.

So Abigail Pent brought her husband on a research jolly to the First instead of bringing a slave to the killing fields (to paraphrase Harrow). And where did that get her?

Well, The Unwanted Guest rather confirms Abigail's heretical speculations about the River: it is not the end, but a purgatorial passing point through which one can travel lightly to the further shore, or sink down to the horrors at the bottom. Abigail may not have gained ultimate power and posters of her face, but she did end HTN going off to cross the River to what, in the implied cosmology of TLT, sounds rather like heaven.

And as for Ianthe? Jod's "indelible sin" may not be the most reliable account of Lyctoral River theology, but Lyctors do not seem to travel lightly in the River...and the Stoma did try to grab Ianthe back in HTN. The newly created Paul offers Ianthe - and Naberius - a second chance and she rejects it.

And now the Death of God has been released, Ianthe has bet on God, God is having a mid-dismyriad crisis, and the girl Abigail Pent risked a second and total death to help knows the truth and is off to harrow hell.

Ianthe Naberius used her cavalier for the rotten true purpose of cavaliers, and look where that got her.

[acourtofthought]

Just in case people are confused why Eluciens don't feel Jurian is the reason Elucien shouldn't end up together and why we'd have no issues with her interacting with him -

Jurian looked right to Mor, whose mouth was a tight line. “You were my friend,” he said, voice straining. “We fought back-to-back during some battles. And yet you believed me at first sight—believed that I’d ever let them turn me.”

“And I was glad to do it,” Jurian snarled. “I was glad to do it, if it bought us an edge in that war. I didn’t care what it did to me, what it broke in me. If it meant we could be free. And I have had five hundred years to think about it. While being held prisoner by my enemy. Five hundred years, Mor.” The way he said her name, so familiar and knowing—

“You played the villain convincingly enough, Jurian,” Rhys purred. Jurian snapped his face toward Rhys. “You should have looked. I expected you to look into my mind, to see the truth. Why didn’t you?”

“You mean to imply,” Mor pushed, “that you’ve been working to help us during this?”. “Where better to plot your enemy’s demise, to learn their weaknesses, than at their side?”

I said to Jurian, “You don’t want to kill Miryam and Drakon.” There was stark honesty in Jurian’s eyes as he shook his head once. “No,” he said roughly. “I want to beg their forgiveness.”. I looked to Mor. But tears lined her eyes, and she blinked them furiously away.

Jurian was not my enemy. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Even as Rhys and I both looked. I didn’t linger for long. The pain and guilt and rage, what he had seen and endured … But Jurian spoke true. Laid himself bare to us.

Jurian leaned in as if he’d kiss me, and brought his mouth to my ear. “Were you smart enough to kill her before you took her skin?” My hands tightened on his jacket. “She got what she deserved.” I could feel Jurian’s smile against my ear. “She’s in his tent. Chained with steel and a little spell from his favorite book.” Shit. Shit. Perhaps I should have gotten Helion, who could break almost any— Jurian caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Come to my tent with me, Ianthe. Let me see what that pretty mouth can do.” (Jurian helping Feyre find Elain after she was taken by the Cauldron)

“Jurian …” Lucien blew out a breath, scanning the carved wood ceiling above. “Thank the Cauldron for him. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true.” He ran a hand through his silken red hair. “He’s keeping everything running. I think he’d have been crowned king by now if it wasn’t for Vassa.”

“How’s the Spring Court?” Nesta asked. The fire crackled merrily to her right, and she let the sound ripple through and past her. Acknowledged the crack and what it did to her, and released it. Even as she concentrated on the male she’d addressed. Lucien’s jaw tightened. “How you’d expect.” Tension rippled through the room, confirmation that Tamlin had heard the news of Feyre’s pregnancy. From Lucien’s grim face, she knew he hadn’t reacted well. Nesta said, “And Jurian and Vassa?”

We've got canon confirmation that Jurian is actually a good guy, that he was willing to suffer so long as it saved the rest, that Rhys and Feyre looked into his mind to confirm this, that he's been a friend to Lucien, that he was Mor's friend.

So you'll understand why that all holds a bit more weight for us regarding Jurian’s true character over what anti's like to cling to, crass statements made while he was pretending to be the bad guy while Hybern and / or his lackeys were present.

Sarah has clearly moved the story forward showing Jurian in an extremely positive light. SHE is the one who wrote him making the joke (because it made more sense than Jurian telling Lucien Elain would be fine in the NC since they were his friends and he knew they'd keep her safe) then SHE is the one who revealed him as the good guy playing double agent. All we're doing is understanding what she wrote.

Elain would be lucky to have a war hero as her friend.

[tremsing82]

Lucien was ALSO a Victim in MaF

I was reminiscing about why I hate Mist and Fury the most out of the 5 ACOTAR books and I remembered chapter 47.

Lucien finds Feyre in the night court mountains. After tracking her for months. Lucien is desperately trying to talk to his “kidnapped” friend who he thinks is possibly brainwashed or being mentally controlled by Rhys a known Daemati.

When Feyre left spring court she left Lucien alone to deal with a paranoid Tamlin who is now an angry paranoid Tamlin, and the emotionally manipulative Ianthe who is whispering in Tamlin’s ear while also trying to molest Lucien any chance she can. In ACOTAR Lucien got to know how capable Feyre is, not only in battle but in holding her ground against people she doesn’t agree with. He would watched her stare down Tamlin and get him to bend to her whims. Was she badly affected by her trauma from UTM yes, did Lucien try his best to advocate for her needs to Tamlin he did. But when Feyre left he was left alone to carry the burden of Tamlin and Ianthe. Was Feyre at all mentally stable at the time she left spring, no, but she was there. She would get bursts of anger and stubbornness at times with Tamlin and confront him. And that was reassuring to Lucien. That probably had him know the spitfire is not gone. If she stayed I would not be surprised if Lucien was the one to help her heal mentally and would help Feyre out of the dark abyss that her trauma put her in.

But she didn’t stay and that ok, because she did get better in a way that worked for her, that’s not my problem. My problem is how she treated Lucien that entire chapter. How the narrative was changed to make his actions look like he was an enabler of an abuser. Which is 100% not true and the words of the book prove it. And well when she left no one was helping Lucien either. Because he now had to navigate both Tamlin’s rage and anger and Ianthes manipulations and hands. He worked his ass off on looking for a way to break a bargain. He did everything he could to stop Tamlin from talking to Hybern. Which Tamlin only looked to Hybern because Ianthe was whispering in his ear.

Can you imagine Lucien being in a day court library and hasn’t slept in 24hours and then he suddenly gets an urgent letter from Bron telling him he needs to get back to spring, so he gets back to spring using all his winnowing magic he has to see Tamlin looking over his coastline maps to see the best meeting point with Hybern. His hair all disarrayed from zero sleep and his shirts untucked and he has to lean into Tamlin’s eye sight to get him to listen to his frantic pleas not to work with Hybern. All while Ianthe is on Tamlin’s other side defending Tamlin’s decision. Ugh it’s like being a nail in a hard place.

He needs his friend back. He needs Feyre back. Not to distract Tamlin or to seduce him back to happiness. But because she is the only one who can stand toe to toe with Tamlin and get him to back away. Lucien can’t. Not because he doesn’t try but because there is some submission Lucien naturally has to Tamlin. And Lucien has argued even at risk to his safety with Tamlin and Tamlin unleashed a power that shook the house with Lucien in that powers pathway. It’s 2 against 1 in the house right now and Lucien can only stave off bad decisions for so long.

He was pleading with Feyre on the mountain. His exact words were “you don’t understand the mess we are in. We…I need you home. Now.” So he knows working with Hybern is on the table. He watched his best friend murder spring court soldiers in a rage because of Feyre being “kidnapped”. And he knows Calanmai is coming up in 2-3 days (I think is the timeline) which Tamlin is refusing to perform his duty (understandably). But that means it falls on Lucien and Lucien knows Ianthe is going to manipulate the maiden part of the ceremony to ensure he picks her. He knows he is going home to be sexual assaulted. He wants his friend to come home and help him put things back in order.

Granted is that Feyre’s duty no, but he is desperate to have help in spring. And at this time he thinks she is a victim of a kidnapping and of Rhys’ Daemati powers.

Shortly after he leaves is when he agrees with Tamlin in talking with Hybern and personally I think he was so down trotted and worn down that he just stop fighting Tamlin on it. Plus he performed Calanmai, the Magic chose Ianthe, he had to sleep with a woman who refuses to accept boundaries. He was sexually assaulted and feeling sick and upset and depressed and Ianthe probably had Tamlin go and ask Lucien if they can look towards Hybern now because Lucien is not in any good mental space to put up an objection. Ianthe wore Lucien down till he just had no more energy to stop Tamlin. He was exhausted mentally, and physically, and emotionally and that all worked in Ianthe’s favor and Lucien is still paying the guilty price for it. And sadly when you think about it, all he wanted was his friend back. And if Feyre or Rhys were just a tad bit smarter maybe they would have looked into his mind to see exactly why he needed Feyre home. But of course Rhys made it out like being in Lucien’s mind is a torture no one should ever be subjected to. Because god help us if you actually used your powers in a useful manner.

[litnerdwrites]

Why do the IC of Feyre expect Nesta to play house with them when they can't respect her boundary with Solstice? She told Feyre it wasn't 'their holiday', which already makes it clear that she's uninterested in adapting to fae traditions. It's not a personal insult, it's a boundary that makes complete sense.

Solstice is a religious holiday, where you thank the mother, or whatever. Given that The Mother seems to come in tandem with The Cauldron, not wanting to celebrate it after what they went through makes complete sense. Now that I think about it, Feyre spends ACOMAF being mad that Tamlin and Ianthe did this to her; Forced her into uncomfortable social situations with people she didn't want to be around.

To Nesta, it's Feyre's birthday but nothing more, in which case, Feyre could've invited Nesta to a brunch with her and Elain. Nesta literally invited them to eat with her, but Feyre said no. If they had a conversation, I'm sure that they would've found a place to eat together that suited all of the, even if it was just at Nesta's apartment, or a day when the town house was empty. Or maybe one of Rhysand's other six houses.

There were so many work arounds that would respect Nesta's boundaries, probably go farther to helping her heal, and been fun for all of them. A win win situation.

Besides, if you invited someone to your celebration of a religious holiday, and they said 'no' out of respect for their own culture, religion, traditions, or just because they didn't want to, wouldn't you just accept the answer and move on?

On top of all this, Cassian through a temper tantrum the moment Nesta rejected his gift. Dude, if you used all that intelligence you supposedly have as a General, you'd realise what the issue is.

[theriverbeyond]

some meandering thoughts on Lyctoral reproduction, contraception, and why I DON'T think Pyrrha hit it raw

this was originally a reblog of another post but it became SO LONG i am just posting it by itself. anyway cracks knuckles:

I think from a reproductive health standpoint the Lyctors are, despite having been exposed to extreme pre-ressurection levels of radiation, not sterile per say, but homeostatically fixed at the point of ascension with any changes made to themselves after that being a concious theorem. See: Cytherea is frozen as sick as she was when she ascended, but when she wanted to fight she could walk around fine, and Harrow when cold, can pad her fat reserves. So they CAN change their bodies, but it's still a Thing They Have To Do vs. a truly autonomous bolidy process.

Also, we know Lyctoral Healing is a thing dependant on nerve fibers -- why a severed limb (Nona/Gideon-in-Harrow aside) is not supposed to automatically regrow (but can be intentionally regrown, with thought and effort), and why in order to imbue Ianthe's bone arm with regenerative power Harrow had to make sure it was properly innervated

(The reason I believe they are not inherently sterile despite having been exposed to massive amounts of radiation is simply because that radiation does not discriminate and would have destroyed the rest of their physical bodies as well. basically, I think any radiation induced infertility would have been fixed in the Ressurection Process, same as the radiation induced. death.)

At the same time, the biological changes a human body must undergo to fertilize an egg and then bring a pregnancy to term are many (on a physical and physiologic level) and all must happen in the correct sequence at the correct time. the adult unaltered, non-Lyctoral body (most of the time) naturally knows how to follow this path, but in order for a Lyctoral Body to bring a pregnancy to term all those minute changes would have to be done manually, lest the Lyctoral Body revert to its homeostatically frozen state.

Therefore, my thoughts are: a Lyctor wouldn't really be able to become pregnant on accident to begin with, much less carry a pregnancy to term unwillingly. Every minute step or shift or change in hormone levels, uterine stretch, etc would have to be manually preformed and then monitored 24/7 which just seems incredibly exausting if not annoying. Then, of course, you have the reality that the Lyctor is going to outlive their child by thousands of years if not forever, and after the catastrophic grief they all carry for their cavaliers I cannot imagine any of them willingly putting themselves in that situation.

why, then, did Pyrrha think Gideon was her child?

WELL! the above theoretical process is specific to a Lyctor becoming pregnant, either from Lyctor or non-Lyctor. For Pyrrha/G1deon, the person who may have become pregnant from their encounters was WAKE, a (as far as we know) physiologically normal human, whose body would be able to like. in the presense of viable sperm, get pregnant the usual way without need for necromantic initiation and maintenence. Not only that, but at the time, Wake could NOT have been taking any sort of continuous contraceptive, as the planning/execution/impregnation of Dios Apate Major/Project Bomb was happening at the same time as Wake was fucking Pyrrha and G1deon. Like I know Mercy gave her the dolls but like Wake was able to turkey baster herself pretty quickly after their failure which means there was an open window of time where Wake was fucking PyrrhaG1deon and definitely fertile.

I could see G1deon as being able to tie off his ductus deferens, or whatever, while he is having sex to prevent physical ejaculation but as we know from Gideon-in-Harrow and Pyrrha-in-G1deon and Cam-when-Pal-Was-Inside, the cavalier's soul cannot preform necromancy whilst in the driver's seat. SO, following that, Pyrrha would be unable to necromantically prevent herself from ejaculating whilst doing the deed.

and finally, we have come to the part where I explain why I do NOT believe Pyrrha was having unprotected sex. as funny it is to imagine them all hitting it raw with a huge breeding kink, given Pyrrha and not to mention WAKE'S general competency (and also like if Wake is trying to get pregnant with the key to the Emperor's Tomb, being already pregnant would have been really inconvinient!!! considering again that the impregnation of ProjectBomb happened at the same time as she was fucking PyrrhaG1deon, Wake HAS to have been taking steps to prevent an unwanted, competing pregnancy), I have to take the controversial position that the condom broke.

Imagine you are a soul fragment, 10,000 years old, and you are betraying your God and Emperor AND your other half, by fucking a rebel comander (using your other half's body) while both of them are unaware. and then the condom breaks. wyd

[glossamerfaerie]

One aspect of Gwynriel that really excites me is religion. The other protagonists don’t seem to take religion or rituals very seriously? Everyone respects the Mother and acknowledges her power (and the Cauldron), but we haven’t explored faith among the fae. Feyre has a terrible experience with Ianthe (a sadly accurate depiction of corruption within organized religion). But we know that not all priestesses are like power-hungry Ianthe. Nesta is understandably indifferent even though she later has an experience with the Mother during Nyx’s birth. Rhys and Cassian seem respectful but we’ve never seen them pray or attend services. It’s giving “only attending church during Christmas” level of religious commitment.

Azriel, on the other hand… we haven’t had much canon insight in his head, but I firmly believe that Azriel is more religious than his brothers. Like he’s not the type to attend temple services, but he probably thinks about faith and the Mother regularly. Clearly he has contemplated mating bonds and who creates them — maybe he’s prayed for a mating bond? Maybe his mother raised him to be more religious. In HOFAS, after Nesta takes the mask off in a close call, Az’s very first instinct is to thank the Mother. Possibly that is meaningless (like how an atheist can say “thank god”) but idk. Az seems to have more faith than his brothers.

“The Mask fell from Nesta’s face, clattering on the stone.

Nesta swayed, but Azriel was there, catching her, bringing her to his chest, scarred hands stroking her hair. “Thank the Mother,” he breathed. “Thank the Mother.”

A few chapters later, Az describes the Cauldron and what happens after death.

“Bryce nodded to the carving. “What’s the big deal about a cauldron?”

“The Cauldron,” Azriel amended. Bryce shook her head, not understanding. “You don’t have stories of it in your world? The Fae didn’t bring that tradition with them?”

Bryce surveyed the giant cauldron. “No. We have five gods, but no cauldron. What does it do?”

“All life came and comes from it,” Azriel said with something like reverence. “The Mother poured it into this world, and from it, life blossomed.”

Later in the conversation, Az explains what happens to souls after death.

“When you die, where do your souls go?” Did they even believe in the concept of a soul? Maybe she should have led with that.

But Azriel said softly, “They return to the Mother, where they rest in joy within her heart until she finds another purpose for us. Another life or world to live in.”

The way Az talks about the Mother, with reverence and confidence, makes me certain that he’s more religious than his brothers.

Then, of course, we have Gwyn — a literal priestess who was raised in a temple. She still attends daily services and sings for the choir. I’ve wondered if what happened in Sangravah shook Gwyn’s faith. Maybe she thinks the Mother exists but isn’t a benevolent deity. Maybe she’s bitter that the Mother didn’t save her servants from Hybern attacks. She definitely feels shame and unworthiness — Gwyn no longer feels like she has a right to wear the Invoking Stone. Working through those feelings will be a major aspect of Gwyn’s arc.

“You asked me once why I don’t wear the hood or the Invoking Stone. That stone is a sign of holiness. How can someone like me wear it?”

Within the temple, Gwyn also faces prejudice and discrimination from her fellow sisters. Ianthe isn’t the only asshole within the organization (cough Merrill cough). I’m sure that some people in Sangravah were cruel to Gwyn’s family because of their nymph heritage. I don’t know what SJM has planned, but I feel that religion will play a major role in the Gwynriel book. I wouldn’t be surprised that, like Nesta, Gwyn has a firsthand experience with the Mother. She will definitely use the blue invoking stone for healing (a nice parallel to Az’s blue siphons).

“It’s an Invoking Stone.” Gwyn unfurled her fingers, revealing the gem within her hand. “Similar to the Siphons of the Illyrians, except that the power of the Mother flows through it. We cannot use it for harm, only healing and protection. It was shielding us.”

I’m also curious to see Gwyn and Az discuss their religious beliefs together. Maybe Az gets permission to join the dawn and dusk services. The man barely sleeps, he might as well watch Gwyn during her religious commitments. The shadows are NOT going to pass a chance to hear their girl sing (or watch her glow). Maybe Nesta can talk Az into singing with the choir. 🥹

Nesta could only gape at the lovely melody, the voices from the front of the cavern leading it, lifting higher than the others. Gwyn sang, chin high, a faint glow seeming to radiate from her. The music was pure, ancient, by turns whispering and bold, one moment like a tendril of mist, the next like a gilded ray of light. It finished, and Merrill spoke about the Mother and the Cauldron and the land and sun and water. She spoke of blessings and dreams and hope. Of mercy and love and growth.

Idk, maybe I’m wrong about Az being religious. But it feels like such a wasted opportunity if we don’t learn more about the Mother! At the very least, I do see Az attending the dawn and dusk services if he’s not on a mission. 🎼🩵🎶

[olenvasynyt]

Feyre is a shitty friend to Lucien if she’s ever been a friend to him at all

This is going to be a long post and yeah I have made two tiktoks about this already and yes people got very mad at me but I’m going to post in on here anyways!!

In Chapter 3 of ACOWAR, Lucien says, “You are a better friend to me, Feyre, than I ever was to you.”

And I couldn't disagree more. This is just so so wrong.  I think Feyre has been such a shitty friend to Lucien if she’s even been a friend to him at all.

If you can’t handle criticism towards Feyre then just scroll past!  And I have so many things to say but Feyre being a shitty friend definitely starts in ACOWAR.  She’s constantly lying to him, making wrong assumptions about him, she uses him.

And I understand that is all for her plan to take down Spring; she can’t really tell anyone the truth because it’ll ruin her cover but a lot of the things she does concerning Lucien and how she’s his friend, are kind of fucked up.

Constantly lying to him and using him in Spring

Now I thought the nightmare scene with Feyre and Lucien was excellent and very entertaining to read but when you think about how Feyre is using Lucien, her “friend”, in a sexual way to get back at Tamlin and turning them against each other…it makes her a shitty friend.

Chapter 5 of ACOWAR: I waited the five minutes it took Tamlin to decide not to kill Lucien, and then smiled. I wondered if Lucien had pieced it together…  A nightmare, I had told Tamlin. I was the nightmare. Preying on what Tamlin had feared from my very first days here… I had no doubt Tamlin was now running through every look and conversation since then.  Every time Lucien had intervened on my behalf…weighing how much that new mating bond with Alain held sway over his friend…

And she continuously gets Lucien to touch her to goad Tamlin’s jealousy and also Ianthe’s jealousy.  She does it very often while they’re in Spring: an example is when they sleep in the tent together.  They basically end up cuddling each other and Jurian sees.  And though it wasn’t on purpose, Feyre thinks about how it would be perfect if that got to Tamlin.  

Chapter 6: I’d rolled onto Lucien’s bedroll at some point, any schemes indeed second to my most pressing demand—warmth.  But I had no doubt Jurian would tuck away the information to throw in Tamlin’s face when we returned: we’d shared a tent, and had been very cozy upon awakening.

She is using him.  She admits it when we get to the scene with Ianthe SAing Lucien.

Why she saved Lucien from Ianthe

And getting to this point soon:  

So in an earlier conversation they have, Lucien talks about how he did the rite in Tamlin’s place and he completed it with Ianthe.  Feyre can see that lines were blurred.  Ianthe had continuously sought Lucien and she got what she wanted.  And Feyre says she should have been there to stop it.

Chapter 3 of ACOWAR: He might have completed the Great Rite with Ianthe of his own free will, but he certainly hadn’t enjoyed it.  Some line had been blurred—badly… The weight of that jeweled knife and belt seemed to grow.  “I wish I had been there to stop it.  I should have been there to stop it.”  I meant every word. Lucien squeezed our linked arms as we rounded a head, the house rising up before us.  “You are a better friend to me, Feyre,” he said quietly, “than I ever was to you.”

And this brings in the quote I brought up in the beginning. ANd I will make a whole separate post on Lucien’s inaction in ACOMAF but what he says just tells me that he feels guilty for not doing enough to help Feyre with Tamlin locking her up.

Feyre said she should have been there to stop it.  Alright well, when the time came and she was given an opportunity to stop Ianthe, Feyre was thinking about how she could keep going and just leave Ianthe to SA Lucien and let it happen.  She is going against her word.  and that makes her a hypocrite and terrible friend.  

Chapter 9: Keep going.  They were distracted, horrible as it was. Keep going, keep going, keep going. “I thought you’d seek me out after the Rite,” Ianthe purred.  They couldn’t be more than thirty feet through the trees.  Far enough away not to hear my presence, if I was quiet enough.

And Feyre realizes that her using Lucien was a bad move, so Feyre’s guilt encourages her to save Lucien not out of any genuine friendship. 

“You don’t act that way with Feyre.” A silk-wrapped threat. “You’re mistaken.” “Am I?” Twigs and leaves crunched, as if she was circling him.  “You put your hands all over her.” I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I’d found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin’s presence.

But another thing that causes her to save him is because this moment reminds her of when Ianthe assaulted Rhys.

I made it about a hundred yards into the cover of the trees before I halted. I heard Lucien first. “Back off” A low female laugh. Everything in me went still and cold at that sound.  I’d heard it once before—in Rhysand’s memory.

and Lucien saying “do not touch me” is exactly what Rhys says and this is what pulls Feyre out of her plans to keep going and save him instead.  

Chapter 21 of ACOMAF: Rhys learned close to breathe in her ear, “don’t you ever touch me.  Don’t ever touch another male in my court.”

Chapter 9 of ACOWAR: “Do not touch me,” he growled. And then I was moving.

This moment is echoing Ianthe going after Rhys, from the way Ianthe acts to the hand-breaking situation because Feyre was replicating what Rhys did to Ianthe’s hand.  And in my opinion, Feyre breaking her hand was not only revenge for Lucien but also revenge for Rhys.  And that’s not inherently bad but Feyre is not saving Lucien because she’s a good friend and she cares for his well-being.  If that were true, she would have never thought of leaving him to get SAed by her in the first place.

Not trusting him, questioning his priorities 

When they’re traveling through Autumn she continues to not trust him, she continues to make assumptions about him and assume the worst.  She questions his priorities when it comes to Elain and assumes that he’s only coming along to get what he’s owed.  But then she wants him to have sympathy for her and Rhys as mates.  It’s just very one-sided.

Chapter 12: “You kissed Under the Mountain.” “I had little choice in that as I did with the dancing.” “And yet this is the male you now love.” “He didn’t know—he had no inkling of the personal history, the secrets, that had opened my heart to the High Lord of the Night Court.  They were not my stories to tell. “One would think, Lucien, that you’d be glad I fell in love with my mate, given that you’re in the same situation Rhys was in six months ago.”

Compare this to Chapter 11:

“And that’s why you’re here.  Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.” “She is my mate and in my enemy’s hands—“

So Rhys and Lucien were in the same situation: both had their mates in their enemy’s hands and want to keep them safe.  Was Rhys only getting what he thought he was owed as well?  No.  So why can’t Feyre offer the same courtesy?

Again, ready to abandon him in Spring

And there’s literally a part when they're running in Autumn where Lucien basically asks “are you actually my friend?” and Feyre doesn’t answer.  

Chapter 11: “You have the gall to question my priorities regarding Elain—yet what was your motive where I was concerned?  Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply of fear of what it might do to [Elain]?” I didn’t answer.  “Well?  What was your grand plan for me before Ianthe interfered?” I pulled at a stray thread in the bedroll.  “You would have been fine,” was all I said.

To actually answer your question, Lucien: she wasn’t planning on sparing you.  She used you and was ready to leave you.

Lucien is a bigger man than me because I would have probably yelled in her face.

Again, uses him to get revenge against Tamlin

Also when he asks her where he’ll fit in in the NC,she thinks about how she would only offer him the position to keep Elain from Spring and to get back at Tamlin.

Chapter 12: “And where, exactly, do you believe I will fit in?  The Night Court? I didn’t answer.  I didn’t have one, honestly.  As High Lady I could likely offer him a position, if we survived long enough to make it home.  I’d do it mostly to keep Elain from ever going to the Spring Court, but I had little doubt Lucien would be able to hold his own against my friends.  And some small, horrible part of me enjoyed the thought of taking one more thing away from Tamlin, something vital, something essential. “We should leave at down,” was my only reply.

Lucien is vital, but not because of his talents as an emissary and how he would benefit the Night Court.  It’s because Tamlin wouldn’t have an emissary.

Feyre just lies to him and assumes stuff and uses him…overall, she’s just such a selfish friend and I’m fairly sure that she doesn’t even consider Lucien her friend at this part, despite several things that would go against that.  Lucien seems to consider or had considered her a friend.  

And then I got a part two because there’s just more things.

Being unwelcome when they get to Night

And now we are getting to one of my biggest gripes with Feyre.  When they get back to the Night Court she has the reunion with Rhys.  They almost immediately go off and have sex and sure, I get it: they’re mates, they haven’t seen each other in a while, they didn’t know if they would ever see each other again.  It’s very emotional.  But when they are done having sex, Feyre goes down and sees Lucien in the sitting room, still in his dirty clothes.  Feyre thinks about how she should offer him something…but then the thought vanishes as soon as Rhys steps to her side.

Chapter 15: “Lucien was waiting in the sitting room when Rhus and I came downstairs at last… I fought my cringe as I halted at the threshold.  Lucien was still in his travel-worn, filthy clothes.  His face and hands, at least, were clean, but…I should have gotten him something else.  Remembered to offer him— The thought rippled away into nothing as Rhys appeared at my side.

FEYRE.  You literally just finished fucking him and putting on your wedding rings, stop thinking of Rhys and offer your “friend” some clean clothes, a bath, SOMETHING!!!!  He has his face and hands washed probably because he washed them in the fucking kitchen sink because he doesn’t know where the bathroom is because no one has given him a tour and they still don’t give him a tour after this…

This is infuriating to me.  So infuriating.  It’s not only being a shitty friend but also a shitty hostess.

And then they have their talk where they explain everything to him, Lucien finally understands what has been going on, he knows that Rhys has been wearing a mask the whole time and that the NC is good…and then he is finally offered clothes and a bath.  By fucking Rhys too not by Feyre.

Chapter 16: “I assume you’ll need clothes,” Rhys went on, nodding toward Lucien’s filthy jacket and pants—which he’d worn for the past week while we scrambled through territories.  Indeed, that was…blood splattered in several spots.

Not communicating, having no important talks as friends or allies

And then the entire time Lucien is in Night, she does not try to have any meaningful talks besides the one where she and Rhys explain everything to him.  She often says it’s for another time.  But they never have any sort of conversation, even if it would just be beneficial as allies, if not friends.

There is a weird sort of mistrust for him. They not only don’t trust Lucien with Elain but also just information in general and this mistrust takes way too long to fade.  From a political standpoint, I get it: he is / was a close friend and courtier to Tamlin, they did ally with Hybern.    But Feyre acknowledges he was remorseful.  And when they’re in Spring he speaks up and tells Tamlin his mistrust and dislike towards allying with Hybern.  But Feyre just speaks over that.  

And I just don’t understand this mistrust with Elain and assuming he’ll steal her away, which is what Rhys implies.  

Chapter 19: “If he got Elain away, back to Spring or wherever…do you believe, deep down, that he wouldn’t sell what he knows?  Either for gain, or to ensure she stays safe?” I considered his question: Did I trust Lucien?  “I don’t know, either,” I admitted, and sighed.  “I don’t like that Elain is a pawn in this.” “Did he discuss what he feels regarding Tamlin?” “Non.  I didn’t want to push on that.  He was…remorseful about what happened with me, and Hybern, and Elain.  Would he have felt that way without Elain in the mix?  I don’t know—maybe.  I don’t think he would have left, though.”

But Lucien explained to Feyre that he hated how Elain was in an enemy’s hands and wanted to make sure she was okay and he knows now that the IC is good and she’s safe, but you still mistrust him?  You are just completely ignoring everything and thinking the worst of him, and as I said before, not offering him the same courtesy you want him to have for Rhys.

Also Elain is a pawn because you are making her a pawn.

Lucien has good intentions.  He wants to do good.    With Hybern, he has not only explains his dislike for allying with them before to her but he sneaks off and sent stuff to Nuan for research to find a preventative against faebane.   He goes to find Vassa to basically redeem himself, he says it was “about time he did something”.  

And about Elain: Lucien is not demanding to see her.  He literally just sits around on his ass and waits and is courteous.  There’s no malicious intent.  He is so kind and respectful.  And if you are so mistrustful towards him that you set up rules for him to follow, maybe just ask him.  Ask permission to look in his mind maybe?  

Feyre and Rhys and the IC have a set of morals that they follow sometimes but then choose not to follow when it conveniences them.  That is a whole other discussion in itself but literally so many things that went wrong with their friendship could have been solved if they actually talked and Feyre wanted to listen to him.  

When Lucien and Elain finally talk one-on-one and Feyre goes into his mind (again, out of mistrust), Feyre discovers that Lucien has no ill intentions.  Lucien didn’t even mean to find Elain there in the library.  He just wanted a walk and to get a book, he didn’t realize she was there, he did not intentionally seek her out and break Feyre’s rule, despite what Rhys says.

Chapter 24 of ACOWAR: He hadn’t expected her to be here.  The other sister—the viper—was a possibility, but one he was willing to risk…he’s been cooped up in this wind-blasted House for two days. He just wanted a walk—and a few books.  It had been an age since he’d ever had free time to read, let alone do so for pleasure. But there she was. His mate.

Getting jealous he has friends / the entire fight they have in ACOFAS

Feyre seemed to have redeveloped her affection for Lucien by the end of ACOWAR but it took way too long and she is still an ass even after everything he’s done for her and for the good of Prythian.  

In Frost and Starlight with their fight that causes him to leave before the Solstice…by fucking god.  I truly hate everything about this conversation.  Feyre is just so wildly frustrating.  I discussed it before so I feel like I don’t need to go a whole lot into it because I already ripped this scene apart word for word.

Chapter 18 of ACOFAS: I rose as well.  ‘But Jurian and Vassa’s is fine?’ ‘You’d be surprised to see how well the three of us get along.’ Friends, I realized.  They had somehow become his friends.  ‘So you would rather stay with them?’ ‘I’m not staying with them.  The manor is ours.’” ‘Interesting.’ His golden eye whirred.  ‘What is.’ Not feeling very festive at all, I said sharply, ‘That you now feel more comfortable with humans than with the High Fae.  If you ask me—‘ ‘I’m not.’ ‘It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without their homes of their own as well.’”

Lucien talks about how he and Vassa and Jurian have been getting closer and Feyre gets almost jealous that he has found friends and a life outside of the Night Court and the Inner Circle.

Of course he wanted to find other friends besides you, Feyre.  It’s not like you have welcomed him with open arms.

And then this quote: “It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without homes of their own as well.”

So you’re admitting that the Night Court isn’t his home?  That he’s not welcome here, he has no friends here?

And then she realizes she fucked up she tries to correct herself:

Chapter 18 of ACOFAS: “Lucien stared at me, long and hard.  ‘Happy Solstice to you, Feyre.’” He turned toward the foyer, but I grabbed his arm to halt him.  The corded muscle of his forearm shifted beneath the fine silk of the sapphire jacket, but he made no move to shake me off.  ‘I didn’t mean that.  You have a home here.  If you want it.’”

He doesn’t want it.  He talks about how he can’t go to Spring anymore not just to Tamlin but to the court outside of the manor because of how Feyre ripped down Spring.  Feyre shows no remorse for that.  And he also talks about how he can’t stand to be in Night around Elain.  He doesn’t feel welcome here for all of those reasons and from the fact that you are just the worst friend ever.  

And then she proceeds to make fun of the Band of Exiles and mock him despite the work they are doing for the land she used to live in as a human.  The Band of Exiles is a stupid name but Feyre doesn’t have a right to call it bullshit.

They have not had any meaningful conversations about their friendship.  They could sit down and actually talk about what happened like civil people, I think they both have to still fully admit where they were wrong and apologize for the mistakes they’ve made.  But Lucien seems to have already apologized more than Feyre ever will.  He apologizes, he says Feyre was a better friend than he was, he feels guilty, he says he needs to actually do something and he looks for redemption.  In ACOWAR when he is still in the Night Court, he has better manners than Feyre does, he apologizes and says thank you so many times.

And their fight in ACOFAS is basically the last thing we got of their friendship because he does come to the solstice party in Silver Flames which I am amazed by actually.  I feel like he is still holding on to Elain and his allyship (I’m going to call it allyship) with Feyre and the Inner Circle.  After everything she’s done to him, he’s still pushing through it.  And I think that makes him a better person than Feyre.  Strong opinion but.  Jesus.

I could go for even longer but I’ll stop and I’ll end by saying Lucien deserves better.