#why can't you just follow the normal rules of time like everyone else

[doctorbrown]

Doc's own physical clock being so screwy in a superpowered AU because of his abilities resulting in strange aging patterns that don't quite follow the norm - since that rejuvenation that adds an extra thirty-forty years to his life is such an important plot point at the start of pt.2 I'm always going to look for a way to incorporate that, as well as the discrepancies that'll arise from his written age (following the simply linear progression of time) to his actual/temporal age (taking into account the time accrued while hopping in and out and around the timestream).

He's never not gonna be an old man because that's very important to his character, his many years of experiences, but looks'll be a little bit deceiving always.

[arpicityandneed]

You, Me, and the King

18+ f!reader. King bucky. Knight Steve. Queen reader. Dirty talk. polyship. light choking. creampie. Cuckolding. Voyeur!Steve.

~

If anyone noticed the visible bulge in the Steve's breeches they knew better than to say anything. The hefty sword he carried on his hip mixed with the deadly glare he gave everyone that passed by helped. They also knew better than to comment on the high pitched wails coming from the door Steve was guarding with his life. The new King and Queen were still on their honeymoon, locked away for days on end as they worked to fulfill their duty to the kingdom.

"J-James!"

He had you on your knees, your arms long since having given out as he thrusted into you. Every plap plap plap of his balls against your swollen clit echoed by the squelching of your pussy gobbling up his cock greedily. James pulled you up until his hand was around your throat, his hips never ceasing as he forced your back to arch. It made you squeal when he hit that special spot inside you. (Outside the door Steve had to clench his jaw and readjust his erection. He knew exactly what that sound meant, he heard it often enough now.)

You were usually quiet and shy, hiding at your King's side and whispering in his ear when you did have something to say. But every single time James got his cock in you, you couldn't help yourself. And your husband loved it.

"That's it my Queen. Let them, fuck, let him hear you sing for me." James let his scarred left arm wrap around you, his massive hand finding your clit easily as he fucked himself into your slick folds. You'd long since felt your own juices run down to your knees. You were sure James' balls were sticky as well.

"Please, James, I can't-" you sobbed as you came again, milking his thick shaft and making him curse.

"But you can, my love. Just a couple more. You have to if you're to give me an heir." He cooed at you, holding up your limp body as you tried to keep up with his endless stamina.

"Steve will lick you all better if you're sore later, promise." Your pussy tightened at the mention of your husband's head knight making James groan loud and filthy in your ear.

The man had grown up with your King, and you knew James trusted him more than he trusted anyone else. He'd even entrusted you to the blond. When your King was busy and you were aching, it was Steve who used his mouth and his fingers to make you feel all better. You'd even had him in your mouth when you felt bold. You wanted to practice, get better at pleasing your new husband. Steve always taught you so kindly knowing exactly what his King liked. You suspected they were more intimate than they let on and the thought made your pussy throb. But you'd never had Steves cock inside you. It was the one rule you had to follow. So when your husband mentions Steve you can't stop the embarrassed whimper that escapes you.

"I know, I know, you want his cock too." Your face burned at the truth of his words, and he laughed feeling your pussy get impossibly tight around him. "Just gotta let my cum all the way in your pretty tummy first. Gotta give me an hier."

"I'll be g-good, give you baby. Promise!" You knew Steve could hear every single word. Knew he'd be suckling on your clit later as he fucked James' cum back into you with his thick fingers when it leaked out. The very thought made you cum again, your fluttering walls dragging James along with you. He cursed, his grip tightening around your throat as his cock throbbed inside you.

"Take it my love, take every fucking drop-" He growled as he grabbed at the fat of your hip, using the leverage to fuck every spurt of cum deeper than the last.

When you both collapsed onto the bed, he cradled you to his chest kissing you slow and deep and drugging. You expected him to let you go to help you clean up a bit like he normally did. But he made no move to separate himself from you. You felt your cheeks heat once more when you realized why.

"James-" Your husband's icy blue eyes were locked onto where your bodies were joined, of the creamy mess he'd made of your pussy, but he seemed to know what you were asking if the smirk on his plump lips was anything to go by.

"Shh, just making sure it takes."

[somewhereincairparavel]

Alright. I came across someone saying that Rick "put Jason in a pedestal" and "overhyped" him by emphasizing how good looking he is and that Jason shouldn't have been so attractive looking. (Tbf tho that person made it sound like they seemed more mad bc their least favourite character was considered good looking lol) but I'll yap about the significance here anyways. Beware of a very long yapping session below.

I do understand their frustration though, because jason getting told that he looks good all the time makes it seem very shallow and unfair to the others.

And let me tell you, Jason is SUPPOSED to be gorgeous looking in everyone's eyes. He is supposed to be conventionally handsome, Rick didn't intend for his looks to be "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder " or something like Percy's (like how Piper didn't find him as impressive) Percy's is supposed to be more authentic. Percy's character isnt centred in people idolizing him, everyone can acknowledge that he's handsome looking, but it isn't in a "perfect" type of way, he's a carefree spirit and that reflects on his looks. While Jason is hardwired as this ethereal looking hero in people's eyes that not even ONE can deny that he looks good, bc ppl in Rome had set him as the "standard". Jason said this before in the lost hero, that him being a son of Jupiter, makes him feel like the support he gets is only because his dad is a very regal and intimidating figure.

That's kind of the whole point, he's supposed to look like this perfect man who can do no wrong. His "Golden noble boy" arc is literally the whole concept of his character. Why else do you think rick wrote Aphrodite approving of Jason's looks saying that he needed no improvement (which she rarely does) ?

Because Jason is supposed to be put like a statue to admire and idolize, that's ALSO why rick made sure to add that Jason looks like a Roman sculpture, bc that's like a metaphor for his inner conflicts. The guy was put like an artifact for people to ogle at in camp Jupiter ever since he was a kid of 4. That's part of the tragedy.

Annabeth said it perfectly “Annabeth tried to hide it, but she still didn’t completely trust the guy. He acted too perfect - always following the rules, always doing the honorable thing. He even looked too perfect. In the back of her mind, she had a nagging thought. What if this is a trick and he betrayed us?” Mark of Athena, page 6.

His mother, whom he's supposed to look like, is also a literal world wide tv actress. So you can't expect anything less either.

Also, Jason is supposed to mirror Percy. And let's be real. Rick put Percy in a VERY high pedestal looks wise, aswell, Not just Jason. And that's okay.

Rick made Hazel mistake Percy for a literal god because he was just that good looking (tbf, in a way, when I was younger, I found this to be a little bit of an exaggeration, bro was covered in mud and seaweed and was compared to a god, it was rlly funny to a 10 year old me 😭 yeah but don't mind this though, this was just a younger me jealous that I couldn't be as pretty as Percy was in mud lol) If Percy can be "hyped" up so "unrealistically" in that particular situation then so can Jason. They are both literal half gods, so unrealistic praise is very normal) and rick also made sure to emphasize that almost all the teen characters had a crush on Percy. So apparently that isn't called putting a character in a pedestal but Jason's is? They are BOTH put in pedestals, because they're both heroes.

Jason and Percy are supposed to be equals, so both of them being in the top two when it comes to looks makes SENSE. Because people are supposed to argue about who is better looking, since they're written as foils.

You cannot expect rick to make Percy look like a god and Jason look like a rat 😭 then there's no point of having them as parallels if one has the upper hand in something. Rick did a good job by conveying that they are BOTH attractive, but in different ways. That's why the Percy/Jason looks debate always have mixed answers.

Jason getting complimented by Aphrodite, the GODDESS of beauty, for his looks and her saying that he didn't have anything to "fix" in his face BC it already looks gorgeous = Percy getting compared to a gorgeous Roman god by hazel. They are both equal comparisons in slightly different tones.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the lakes (1) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

next chapter

prequel

warnings: ANGST, allusions to death/mental problems as a result of the games/trafficking, arguments, finnick had a savior complex, but reader also low-key has one, unedited, maybe ooc!finnick it's how I interpret him but maybe you don't, mentions of past breakups, may be more I didn't catch, no use of y/n, terms of endearment like my love, angel, sweet boy

1.6k words

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Snuggled up to his side on the couch is where you felt safest, even with the pit in your stomach as you waited for whatever cruel twist Snow would announce for the Third Quarter Quell. You could tell Finnick had been anxious too, even if he would never want to verbalize it. He'd spent the day finding an activity to keep his mind busy at every second, little home renovations he'd never spoken of before, catching more fish then you could possibly eat, bossing you around as he did each thing all of which was so him, but there wasn't a moment of peace. He didn't stop to just hold you or stare out at the waters, there was no time when he knew that this year being a mentor would be much more difficult.

You knew that too, you'd been doing it for less time then he had, but it was eating you up inside. Even though the day was nearly barren of sweet nothings or the usual honey of his voice, him holding you as you stared at the screen made all the difference. But then your world stopped.

“As a reminder that even the strongest cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, on this Third Quarter Quell Games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors in each District.” Snow’s voice was exactly that, cold and icy. You felt nauseous and dizzy the moment the words left his cocky, freezing lips. Then the warmth from Finnick was gone, leaving you just as frozen.

“Finnick-" You began almost robotically as he stood, exiting the room. He said something incoherently and you knew better than to follow him. Both of you dealt with things differently. It was a thought true and tested that he would pull away to handle and you would cling closer. You hoped that being with him for so long would remind him of the happy medium.

Feeling consumed by sadness, anger, and a tinge of selfishness for even wanting Finnick’s comfort when he had so much to process you rose from your position on the couch as you mechanically walked towards the bedroom. Hearing the front door slam shut you knew Finnick was long gone, off to seek the refuge of the oceans currents. The warmth of a singular tear straying from your eyelids brought a stark contrast to how you felt.

They say everyone deals with grief differently, so maybe that explained why you’d just continued with your might as normal. Nearly burning your skin off with the warmth of the shower, stiffly moving through your nightly skincare routine, doing the dishes Finnick usually insisted upon working on, and finally when you'd sat down at your vanity for the final steps of your bedtime routine Finnick had reappeared. 

“You can't go back." Was all he said and you stared at him somberly in the mirror.

“That's not your decision to make." It wasn't angry or malicious, it was just a sad truth. There was no control over any of it and quietly you cursed Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire for ever daring to defy the Capitol's rules. Even if you knew it wasn't her fault that Snow was harsh and cruel, maybe if she'd played safely like everyone else had you and Finnick could be still curled up on the couch chatting mindlessly.

“It can be, I can ask people to volunteer, you need to be safe.” He was like a flighty bird as he knelt down besides where you sat. You could tell he'd been crying by the bloodshot look of his eyes.

"My life isn't more valuable then anyone else's Finnick. That's not fair and you know it.”

"I don't care."

“Mags is too old, she deserves to be in peace when she goes, Annie wouldn't be able to handle that, and Ondine would say no and I wouldn't blame her.”

"You can't volunteer. You have to promise me that, I need you to promise me that.” His eyes were so desperate, so pleading and his hands clung to your knees. You felt your eyes brimming with tears as you shook your head.

"You know I can't do that.” It was true you wouldn't put poor, unstable Annie through that, Mags wouldn't survive, and Ondine probably could, but you'd be eaten by guilt if you let her. You doubted that you could be the victor once again, but it would be better than making any of them face it. 

Finnick hit the top of your table as he stood, “Goddammit, don't be stubborn about this, angel. I need you to stay here, you can't go back!" He was trying to hold back his own storm of tears which he was gulping down.

“Finnick, could you promise me the same thing? Could you swear to me that you wouldn't volunteer either?" He was silent and simply stared back at you. So you nodded and rose to your feet as well.

“That's different and you know it! There's been whispers amongst different Victors about rebellion and with this happening there has to be more imminent plans. I can be on top of them, angel, I can help end this." Your sweet, sweet boy who so vehemently needed to rid the world of the system that had hurt him so badly and so many others like him before it could do more damage.

“If you do that, if any of that happens. I need to be with you, Finnick. We can do that together, you don't get to just cut me out because you want to protect me. We're a team!” You made sure to keep your voice even, although all the built up emotions made you want to yell it all, to cry it out, and scream so gutturally that everyone would know what was happening.

"That's not fair." He repeated back at you, blinking away his oncoming tears. “I need you to be safe, to know you're gonna be okay. If I'm thinking about the future of the Rebellion then I can't be worrying about keeping you alive too.” His voice was harsher and louder, then suddenly you couldn't stop yourself from raising your voice to the same tone as his.

"I've won these before, Finnick, I'm not helpless! You have left me stranded before and I have dealt with it, and I won. I'm not some damsel you need to save.” The rational side of you knew that you were being unreasonable, but so was he. You did need him, you needed him so desperately that thinking of him is what had kept you fighting the first time around. You loved the fact that he didn't make you pretend to be all the things you were spouting out, you didn't have to act strong when you weren't feeling it and he would take care of you. But now, when it would be life or death, you didn't need that used against you.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. I know you can take care of yourself, but that won't stop the fear of you getting hurt from eating me up inside.” Suddenly his forehead was pressed to you're, it was so intimate and so soothing it was already balancing you out. You forced your voice back to the soft tone it had once held.

"Finnick if I'm here and the Rebellion you're planning happens, they'll come for me. Snow will make sure that I'm not safe, he could have me killed for being with Finnick the rebel. I would be safer with you then in the palms of the Capitol.” His hands caressed your face with heat that relaxed your tense muscles simply on impact. 

“I just want to come home to you." His muscular arms were wrapped around you as he whispered his confession and let himself fully break down with you. Sobbing down your back and suddenly you didn't feel your own tears. All of you just wanted to help him, to absorb with warmth and give it back to his tortured soul. Your sweet boy.

“I know." You said it so lightly it could have been lost in the breeze, but Finnick was tucked into you so tightly that he heard. “Can we just go to bed, please? I just want to be with you."

Finnick reluctantly pulled himself away from you only because he knew he could envelop you in the further safety of your blankets. “Of course, my love." He muttered as he pressed his salty lips to your forehead. The dilemma would be left here for now, but he would convince you. His brain and heart were still scrambling for any loophole to keep you out of the arena, as distanced from the rebel plans as possible, and as protected as need be from any and all who could pose harm. 

Even if you were strong, charming, and smart, the Capitol's Princess. He knew you were all he needed, you accepted him and his flaws so fully, so blatantly shared each crevice of your soul with him that none of that mattered because it was the domestic bliss that you were really built for, that you deserved. The life with the house on the beach, where kids could run around and you would garden that he would fight to give you, but couldn't allow any chance that could prevent you from getting there.

But it broke you knowing that he wanted to protect you so bad he didn't open up, that there was a lack of trust in what he said simply in omission. You wanted to protect him just as badly in a way he couldn't understand, you wanted to be consumed by his every moment. To be two halves of one whole in any way you could and you feared your own instability would show if he was gone. You'd hidden it so well when he was there to calm you, but as you held each other so tightly both of your thoughts were silly consumed with the threats of what was to come. 

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

more of this series to come because I have a lot of thoughts even though this part was shorter. thank you for reading and so many of you for the support! if you enjoyed them let me know by liking, reblogging, commenting, or any type of feedback. feel free to fill my asks with thoughts lmao because it's consuming my thoughts. love you guys 💋

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner - although today it is less unhinged and more of a watertight analysis.

What I am about to present you is something most people have probably already noticed, but it has been three months and I still lose my mind while going through the final fifteen frame by frame (which is a normal thing normal people like us do, right? right).

You literally cannot convince me my following meta is wrong, and the only person whose criticism I will accept on this post is Michael Sheen and Michael Sheen ONLY. If you're not Michael Sheen (hi Michael Sheen who probably has a secret tumblr account) then your guess is as good as mine, though again, I think mine is solid.

So.

We all love and hate Aziraphale's "I forgive you", but what I find even more painful is the fact that before that he almost said "I love you". Then he stops himself and changes it, and the amount of micro-expressions on his face as he makes that decision is my current cause of death.

Here's the clip as evidence #1, and while it can definitely support itself, let's dive into the pain a little more, shall we?

One important thing I noticed is that Aziraphale doesn't look at Crowley while he stutters his way through his initial reaction. He blinks up at him for a few frames before averting his eyes again and only holds eye contact after the almost-confession (from here on referred to as IL-).

This is Aziraphale holding eye contact with Crowley (left) vs. him looking away (right):

The frame on the left is from the I forgive you (IFY) part of the scene, the other one from right before IL-. If we go through the above clip little by little we will find that he avoids Crowley's face the entire time and his gaze slips further and further down, which I interpret as him overthinking/trying to come up with something to respond to this entire situation.

He is overwhelmed and surprised, caught between his two main desires: Crowley and being a Good Angel.

Combing through the frames, we can actually nail down exactly when Aziraphale first makes eye contact before the IL- and when he stops. Keep the above comparison in mind! The angle is slightly different because his chin is lower and he straightens up throughout the scene.

So! This is where he starts looking at Crowley:

And this is where he stops:

Hard to see? Let's zoom in on his eyes (numbers are the file names):

Now, you might ask me "Alex, this is all fine, although a bit insane, but why is any of this important?"

Because, fellow tumblr user and good omens enthusiast, I think that looking at Crowley is what changes his mind about what to say.

He doesn't look at him -> about to confess his feelings.

He looks at him -> says the absolutely worst possible thing.

Partly to hurt him because they're both lashing out at each other during this argument, but he looks at Crowley, looks at the person that just kissed him, that told him they could have been an us, that wants him and has always wanted him, screw everyone else.

He looks at Crowley and he wants to say l love you but then what? Once he says those words, he can't leave. He just can't.

We have to remember that they have existed within a complicated dance, a game that they have been playing for centuries without ever telling each other what that game actually is, what the rules are - because they couldn't. It was based entirely on trust and knowing the other person well enough to play it safe.

Crowley just flipped the playing board. Nothing is the way it should be, he is refusing to do their dance, refusing to play. He is looking at him and daring him to stop trying to put the pieces back on the board. The only thing neither of them has done yet is actually say I love you out loud.

Saying those words would mean stepping away from the playing board and acknowledging the room they have been playing in. It would mean saying fuck you to heaven, yes, but it would also force Aziraphale to finally define himself outside of the role he has been playing for both Crowley and heaven, and he isn't ready for that yet.

Additionally, there is the fear and/or knowledge (depending on what else the Metatron might have said or done that we did not see) that heaven will retaliate against him and Crowley if he disobeys them now, and he does not want to risk that either.

All that is what, in my opinion, happens in his head when he averts his eyes and interrupts himself. I do kinda what to make a whole different post about his facial expressions leading up to the IFY, so I will end this one with one more bit of pain.

Ready?

Firstly, the face he makes when he makes his decision.

Look at the tight line of his lips, the pain etched into his face, the pure pain in his eyes.

This is the face of someone who knows exactly how badly he is going to hurt Crowley and himself. This is an apology, an I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, this hurts me as much as it hurts you. I'm sorry but I have to.

And then he winces afterwards. I don't know about you, but this is exactly the kind of face I make when I'm emotionally torturing myself with my own thoughts. For the final blow, please look at the picture very, very closely, especially the last frame, because Aziraphale isn't just sorry and he isn't just in pain.

Aziraphale is scared because he knows* that he might lose Crowley over this. He knows that saying I forgive you is (almost) unforgivable. He KNOWS.

He does it anyway because he will lose Crowley either way but he'd rather have him alive and hating him than dead.

With that I am concluding today's unhinged meta corner, thank you for your attention and you're welcome for the pain.

Also: If you want to call me a 'tin hatter' or insane or otherwise make fun of me - this is very much a girl, what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament moment because you read my meta post all the way to the end. <3

-

*authors note: what Aziraphale thinks he knows and what is actually real is not the same thing but that's a different post

[ardbar]

You know. Noobs aren't really expected to last very long. Every time we see one that isn't Evbo, they never last long. We watch at least 5 of them die. Who knows how many Evbo has watched die. They probably aren't expected to last more than a few weeks.

And who would waste resources teaching things to people who will be dead in a few weeks anyways? Who would even teach them things? The Pros? The pros would Never, even if it was their Daily Task they would likely just sneer at the Noobs and call them stupid.

It makes me wonder. How many things are considered Common Knowledge that Evbo simply doesn't know even exist? How many things does he do that everyone else would consider him Utterly Insane for that were just... normal on the Nood Level?

EMF catches him using a bucket of water and bar of soap to wash his clothes instead of a washing machine and just thinks he likes doing it the old fashioned way. Shades Pro sees Evbo counting on his Fingers, only after 5 he's speaking jibberish. Shades decides he misheard him or Evbo is fucking with him. Seawatt finds him picking grass blades off a grass block and turns away with a roll of his eyes, not seeing Evbo stuff the fistful of grass into his mouth. He says that even reading is parkour because that's how he refers to all things he's never seen before (and 90% of the time is Correct in this assumption) and EMF and Seawatt think he's just making a joke.

And no one helps him because they don't know he needs help. They don't know that he can't read or write, he doesn't know numbers past 5 and ended up making up names for them, doesn't understand any sort of machine, even unable to understand how furnaces work really, as they had them on noob level but had no fuel for them, he eats grass blades because sometimes... sometimes Pros would "forget" to deliver some meat to his house, or he would be late and not get any, or sometimes the hunger would just get To Bad. Does he even know what a callender is? Evbo has no idea any of these actions are incorrect or that there's things he should learn.

After all, how can he possibly ask for the answers to a question he does not know exists?

Wait I actually love this. I've also believe that Evbo just wouldn't know as much as everyone else because as you said the Noob level just has no infrastructure. Like to your point about him saying even reading is parkour, he specifically mentions he only started to learn it after becoming the champion. This really goes to show how the noob layer just wasn't cared about. However this has always made me question some things, what exactly is the point of the noob level if ranking up is impossible. The master level is obviously a parallel for the wealthy elite, which would make the pro level something around the working class, following this type of logic the noob's would be like the lower class and menial labor. However, the noobs don't actually do anything. While we didn't spend too much time in the noob level all we really saw was that they have to do their daily parkour for food and then as long as they follow the rules they have no other tasks. Do they just exist to keep the pro class busy, to make the pros not realize they are still at the bottom of the social hierarchy?

Personally I think it would be cool if that was why the Noob layer is so underdeveloped and as you said not well educated. The noobs were only a means to an end. I think it would make sense that the Pro level has the biggest population since they aren't prone to dying like the noobs and because they do most of the jobs. Because they have the biggest population and thus a decent amount of sway the champion keeps the noobs around to make the pro's antagonize them instead of trying to rebel against the masters and him. By keeping most of the conflict between the pros and noobs he has effectively prolonged his society.

The noob's exist as an example that things could always be worse. That while the pros need to work to get time to practice parkour they at least have food, they at least have nice homes, they are safe as long as the noobs exist.

Personally I think it would be really fun wrote a fic about various things Evbo does and everyone else just looks at him like, "how are you alive right now?"

[m-jelly]

Can I request a Levi x reader where the reader is know to be very stoic and cold to everyone. But she really is touch starved and only shows him in private her clingy side.

True self with you.

Levi x fem!reader

Canon AU, fluff, romance, being a couple, stoic reader that's really shy, cuddly reader.

In public and while working you are rather cold and stoic, but it's because you're shy and you don't think people will accept you. As soon as you get home to Levi, you are a cuddly little bunny for him and you show just how soft you are.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

"Please?"

You stared at the cadet. "No. Rules state-."

"I don't care! Can't you just this one time?"

"No."

They huffed. "You are so cold! No wonder no one likes you!"

You realised a long sigh. "I have to go with scout policy set out by Commander Erwin Smith. If you want to complain then I can file a report to the Commander, otherwise, there is nothing else that can be done."

"I always knew you were a cold and heartless bitch."

You stood up from your chair. "I will not tolerate such language in my office, please leave now."

"I'm not leaving until I get what I want!"

You walked over to your office door and opened it. "Leave."

"NO! You are not a commanding officer! You just do admin and paperwork! You're nothing."

You stared at them. "Then why are you complaining to me if I am nothing? I fail to see the logic in your reasoning. Why fight with someone who cannot provide you with what you need. Also, due to the way you have been speaking to me, I am less likely to help you. Do you really think throwing abuse would get you anywhere?"

"Tch, oi?" Levi stepped into your doorway. "What's going on?"

You stared at the scout. "Would you like to forward your complaint to Captain Levi?"

"Yes!" They huffed. "I need to speak to you and not this terrible person."

You hummed. "You may have my office unless you are taking them to yours."

Levi studied the scout. "I'll take your office and I'll speak to you after."

"Sure."

It was fairly normal for people to get upset with you. You had tried to get along with people, but you were rather shy and you assumed that people would not like you. There was also this constant fear that you'd fail at your job. You wanted to do your job well, so you followed the rules and the teachings.

Today, you were feeling rather defeated by your job. You were simply doing your job and trying hard, but it was never good enough for some people. It wasn't always like this, but the bad days were terrible. There was no in between.

"Bunny?"

You looked up. "Grumpy."

Levi closed his office door and approached you as you sat on the sofa. "I'm sorry they were a shithead."

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be." As soon as he sat next to you, you hugged his side. "People shouldn't treat you this way, okay?"

You slipped your legs over his thigh. "Mm."

Levi wrapped his arms around you and hugged you. "You need extra cuddles today?"

"Yes."

He shifted on the sofa, lay across it and held you against him. "You know very well you can get all the cuddles you want." He squeezed you. "I love them and they heal me."

You nuzzled the crook of his neck. "I love you, Levi."

"I love you too." He played with your hair and rubbed your back. "You know, I like that you're cold with others because I get to see his adorable cute side of you. It's all for me."

You kissed Levi's neck. "I just feel like I can be myself with you. You make me feel safe to be me."

"Me too."

[celerydays]

Hi! I have been following you for some time and I notice you draw more and more Sebastian and Ominis doing stuff that makes me... uncomfortable.....

Sebastian and Ominis are best friends, why people are obsessed with drawing them into weird gay stuff? Seriously.... Why can't be friends.... without all Sebinis... Just stop it...

Normally I would delete messages or simply ignore the things that make me feel uncomfortable–

But, you're on anon and this is my ask inbox, so I can only assume you want an actual, public response. So alright. Fine.

Like I said: normally I would just remove odd, uncomfortable, or even outright rude messages without making a whole thing of it. I curate my own online experience and I try my best to live by that rule.

However, I've now gotten multiple unsolicited DMs over the course of a couple of months expressing the exact same sentiment (and nearly word-for-word as this ask, so I highly suspect I already know who you are). I have duly ignored or glossed over them hoping that the person/people would take the hint to simply stop engaging with the same message over and over again. But an anon ask is my last straw, I guess.

So if you are the same person as in my DMs, I'm finally giving you a response (and if you're not the same person – which I highly doubt – then I'm speaking to both of you).

Firstly, I want to say that I am sorry that your worldview is so limited that this is your stance and feelings on gay/queer ship content for Sebastian and Ominis.

Next, I ask that you please:

Don't make your homophobia anyone else's issue but your own. Don't come into DMs/ask inboxes/comments to make your discomfort with the content I create my problem. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by sending this message but it's unlikely that you'll find the same feelings or sympathy from the person who is actively creating queer/sebinis content.

Curate your own online experience. Once again, do not make your content consumption anyone else's problem but your own. The "unfollow" button is there. Tumblr has a tag filtering system and I try to tag my art and content as accurately as possible. If you do not like something/it makes you uncomfortable, then do not continue to consume it. And if you still decide to stick around for whatever reason, then please keep your thoughts/opinions on this matter to yourself because I can promise that I don't actually care why you would continue to be here and looking at my art if it makes you unhappy.

Widen your worldview and try to reframe your perspective. Consider that Sebastian x Ominis is just as canon as Sebastian x f!MC or Ominis x f!MC. As much as we like to ship our various MCs with the canon characters, MC never actually amounts to canonically being confirmed as anything but being just friends with everyone. Using the "they are just best friends" / "why can't they just be portrayed only as friends" could literally be applied to just about any other non-canon/non-confirmed ship between friends regardless of gender. If even one of them, Ominis or Sebastian, was portrayed as cis female in canon, I would suspect that you would better "understand" why a ship between these two "friends" may exist. Then also consider a cis male MC; it's possible you may suddenly reframe all the interactions between Ominis x m!MC or Sebastian x m!MC in your head to be "totally platonic/friendly". Your issue is certainly not with their canon relationship vs. fandom portrayal (but I think we both know that).

Educate yourself. Go outside and meet and talk to people, I dunno. It is 2024 my dude. I don't even know how you're on Tumblr – the most queer-friendly social media site – with those kind of narrowed views and stigma.

I would like to finish by saying: I don't wish you the best. What I do wish is for you to learn, grow, and be better than this.

And also please stop sending me messages of this nature, because the next ask or DM I get like this, we're moving on to blocking at this point. And if your purpose was to get me to stop, I can tell you that these messages have only fueled the explicit sebinis smut maker in me. 😤

[yuri-is-online]

List of characters that i think smoke a lil weed:

Riddle. He needs to chill the fuck out. I don't think he'd be able to handle smoking though, physically or mentally, so like. Trey should maybe slip him a strawberry tart with some ganja in it

Cater. Let him find the will the live and spiritually high five Morgan freeman or smth idk

Ace and Deuce. Another day, another heart attack cause Yuu got into a situation again

Trey. Partially because we both know damn well how stressed he is on a daily, but mostly because I just want the strict "Rule Following Dorm" to just be chalk full of stoners. Never let them know your next move! 🤙

Ruggie. He deserves it. Weirdly enough, he actually preforms better at his jobs when he's high as balls (this is based on one of my brother's. He can't drive for shit but he can smoke a blunt and then suddenly he turns into a chauffeur???)

Jade. I don't think he would need it or even really feel a desire to do it; he just wanted to know what it felt like the first time he did it, but then Yuu shotgunned him once and now he's much more willing to smoke. Probably makes the best food ever when he's high

Jamil. Look me in my eye and tell me he doesn't need Marijuana like a white mom needs a live laugh love sign. You cant. He can't do it too much though cause whenever he gets high he ends up just. Melting into his floor and stares at the ceiling for the next few hours and he can't do shit.

Kalim. He wants to be included. Also I think he would be a crier cause Lord knows he needs a good sob

Epel. He'll do just about anything if he thinks it'll make him cooler, and in his mind, weed is pretty cool. It is significantly less cool when he starts coughing like he's trying to puke out his organs though.

Vil. I don't really know why, he just would. He wouldn't smoke it though. Probably just eat an edible, and not the normal ones like a brownie or a cookie or some type of sweet, nah. He's going for the peanut butter. "Vil why is your peanut butter green?" "It's made with pistachios" "Ok but why are your eyes so red" "it's windy out here". He's so good at lying through his teeth when it comes to this but come on! He needs a break! Let him do this or he's gonna bite neiges head off!

I dont think Rook would. I don't why for this either, it's just the vibes. Rook is staying sober.

Idia tried it once to see what the hype was about and started choking. He's one if those people who isn't affected by Marijuana so he didn't really do it again. Until those cotton candy vapes came out and then he tried it again.

Lilia. I don't think I have to explain this.

Yuu. They were the one that got everyone else smoking. The probably grow it in their garden and tell people it's mint (also inspired by my brother). They're stressed constantly and making out with their boyfriend doesn't always take that stress away, so why not make out with their boyfriend, but high.

Honorable mention: Sam! He's just cool like that.

Honorable mention: Chen'ya! Cause I feel like he would.

I know nothing about smoking weed because the smell makes me kind of sick so I will take your word for it that this list is accurate. I do know a decent bit about drinking vodka straight from the bottle so allow me to give you my list of people who I think would do that:

Crewel- i think he's a cocktail guy but sometimes he just doesn't have the patience. He also has a big bottle of absinthe for emergencies. It's been getting a work out with all the overblots this year.

Lilia- used to back when he was traveling the world, nowadays he prefers not to so he can set a good example for Silver. Probably sticks to weed since it's more natural

Floyd- I feel like he makes those toxic jungle juice mixes that you can't tell the alcohol content of for "funzies" but then refuses to drink it himself and just drinks it from the bottle.

Epel- again he thinks it makes him look cool. He hates vodka because as a proud citizen of Harveston he strikes me as more of a cider guy but he still assumes he looked cool.

Sebek- he did it on a dare and he hated every second of it.

Ruggie- he does the thing where he gets cheap vodka and puts it through a brita filter to make it better.

Leona- he is too lazy to get himself something better. Do you think he smokes weed or sticks to catnip? And if you asked him that how loud do you think he would laugh before trying to beat your ass?

Yuu- at all times they look like this to me:

[dotster001]

helloo~~ i was summoned by your twisted earth headcanons (which are amazing, btw) and like, speaking of chara!readers love interest...

if its alright with you, how would they react once the couple becomes canon? like what would happen? also what would happen if some angst or chara!reader and the romance chara broke up?

Summary: Vil/Malleus/Neige/Floyd/Ace x gn! Reader

A/N: since there weren't specific characters requested, I picked the five that I thought would have the most interesting/unique responses, but if you want some more, let me know!

Confused? Check out the Twisted Earth Literary Universe!

When you get together 

It was an unexpected twist in the story. He was slated to be a va in the next phase of the story, so he had had hope. Until your book in this phase came out. Neige was voice acting as an evil millionaire's son. After the climax of the story, it was clear they were alluding to you humanizing that character.

But he still had hope! Until he got his script, and his character single handedly match made the two of you.

He's furious! Of course you'd end up with Neige! He can't have anything, can he?

He gives Neige the silent treatment for a couple weeks. Which he does a lot anyway, and Neige is too sweet and just assumes he's busy, so on the whole, he doesn't act too out of the ordinary.

Until he sees Rook's fanart of you and Neige kissing under a cherry blossom tree….

When you break up

It was truly a devastating break up, and it left the fandom in shambles. Your and Neige's characters just had too many differences, particularly with Neige's character not being super respectful of human livelihoods.

He wasn't part of this arc, his character was somewhere else with some random potato, but he'd heard it was coming ahead of time because Neige had come to him asking for pointers on how to up his villain game. Neige was excited to be the bad guy, and knew Vii would be so helpful!

Vil is smiling the entire time. Neige thinks it's because they are having fun together. Spoiler alert, that's not it.

All his simmering rage resurfaces when the arc comes out and Rook is still doing fanart of you and Neige.

And I quote, "Why shouldn't I draw the two most radiant individuals in love's embrace?"

When you get together

Malleus had locked his door when the update with your book came out. He was so excited, giggling like a schoolgirl as he binged the entire 100 chapters.

The weather progressively gets worse and worse as he reads through it. By the time he's finished it's pouring, there's dangerous amounts of lightning, and hail has hit more than one poor Diasomnia resident.

Lilia quickly hits up the twst version of reddit, and finds out your childhood friend confessed to you, and you accepted.

As fast as he can, he sends in emergency commissions to Mal's favorite fanfic authors, paying an ungodly amount of money for speed, and slips the finished products under the door.

The weather eases up, and after about an hour, Mal emerges, pretending his makeup and face isn't tear stained.

There are a huge influx of anon requests requesting "lonely fae prince who comforts Y/N after (childhood friend's) grisly murder". The author's think it has to be more than one person. It's not.

When you break up

You and your friend broke up because what you both thought was a crush, was really just a strong friendship. You're still both on good terms, just free to pursue other people.

He's got a very intimidating smile on his face all day. That's it.

When you get together

At your job, there was a worker who was a year older than you. He was a real stick in the mud. Always insisting that everyone follow the rules. Poo pooing on parties. Ace had thought it was a throwaway character. Until you confessed to him!

Your body pillow is in time out. I mean, it is not so different from normal in that it lives under his bed. But now, if it was a moment he would have snuggled it in the past, he will look under the bed, tell you to think about what you've done, and pout.

He boycotts the game for a while as well.  As though his anger at this turn of events will outweigh all the millions of people in the fandom who adore this couple. 

Poor Deuce, in this specific version of the au, ships it really hard. I don't think I have to tell you about the verbal assault he gets from Ace on this matter.

When you break up

Truly a devastating moment. Your partner had been secretly cheating on you with someone even more rebellious than you.

Ace is smug as hell! He's going off on Deuce at all hours of the day! He told him so! He knew it wouldn't last! He was right, you'd never fall for a stick in the mud loser!

Your body pillow is still in timeout. You did this to yourself, and he's not sure you've learned your lesson.

When you get together

He was so excited to work with Vii again! Since they hadn't been able to work together in so long, it was nice when Vil joined the project. And then Vil's character kissed you…

He's fine! It's fine! That's fine! You're not real, it's okay! And even if you were real, he doesn't have the time for a relationship, between his acting and schooling. It's totally fine!

He's not sad! He's not! In fact he's happy because it means Vil's character is going to be even more important to the story, so they can keep hanging out!

It's totally fine!

When you break up

Vil didn't have as much time in his schedule these days. So the best thing to do was to kill his character.

It was devastating for you, and you'd definitely have lifelong trauma, but the death scene went viral, and people have gone nuts with Vil's last words to you. Neige has even seen videos of people adding them to their wedding vows!

You're not real though. So it's fine! It's okay! He shouldn't be attached to a fake character anyway, so it's fine!

He feels guilty that he doesn't feel guilty over how happy he is that Vii's character is dead…

When you get together

Jade and Floyd were quietly sitting in their room, doing their own thing, when Floyd's phone suddenly smashed into the wall by Jade's head.

The last thing Jade saw on the screen before the image flickered off and the phone shut down forever was, "I love you, even though I hate mushrooms."

Now, Jade was super far behind in the story, but he knew enough to know that 1. His brother was madly in love with you and 2. You had clearly just confessed to someone who must have been as into mushrooms as he was.

It would be amusing if Floyd hadn't started smashing his terrariums.

Quickly calling in Azul, who was one of the few people who could pin Floyd, they gave him some tranquilizers, then cleaned up the shattered glass in the room.

Floyd has no motivation to do anything for the next several days. He also picked three fights with various students. It takes a long time for him to be okay again, and as I said in the initial HC's, he is no longer allowed to play the game without supervision.

When you break up

Heh heh. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!

....

Tag list- @shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic

[my-drama-heart2406]

Okay everyone, so here's my piece on the "Han Daon is Satan" issue. And I stand... on affirmative.

So I'd like to take credit and say that I called it(I'll tell you why), but then I wasn't sure of myself and somebody else did call it on Tumblr so...

But here's my pov. Han Daon being Satan would actually make a lot of sense. Does it raise a lot of questions? Ofcourse, but none that can't be answered.

So while everyone started talking about this since the recent episodes, I got the idea of Daon being Satan wayyy back in ep 5, when Daon barged into that demons comittee meeting. See Daon is VERY SMART. But when he was told the Satan and Kylum fairytale story he acted completely clueless as if he didn't understand a word the other demon said. Which seemed kinda odd. The point that hit was that all of this supposedly happened 26 yrs ago. Daon's family was killed in 1999, 25 yrs ago. Suspicious 🧐.

And I thought hey wouldn't it be fun if Daon was actually Satan? It would be so ironic that Satan is standing, openly chilling in a meeting about where and how to find him. But then I blamed my twisted brain for making up all this bullshit. Turns out it wasn't bullshit, because apparently everyone was thinking the same thing.

Which brings us to our first question how did Satan get into Daon's body? Which can be answered very easily. We see from Daon's perspective many times, the serial killer walking towards him, his shadow looming over Daon's little form, we never see after that. Now we've seen and known lot's of stories where the serial killer leaves a victim alive to pass down the trauma. But considering that he killed Daon's parents and brother, he didn't have any reason NOT to kill Daon too. So what if he did? What if Daon was killed too? What if Satan was roaming around looking for a body and saw this boy and his family getting murdered and chose to inhabit him? Like @musings-of-a-kjdrama-addict said in her post, what if the narrative from our ML's perspective is already flawed?

But going by Daon's priorities, he had followed Bitna there because he suspected her of murder and wanted to get evidence, or at the very least get some info about her. Which then became obvious that it wasn't going to happen because 1: all the demons over there were meeting Bitna/Justitia for the first time. And 2: Justitia introduced him as "Poppy", her driver, also a demon. So when Bitna tells him to go back, he doesn't have any reason not to, instead of maybe just to rile Bitna.

Watching n no. of dramas has made it clear to me that writers don't do anything reasonlessly. So the whole purpose of the ML to be there just to see a side character demon, who has around 5 min screen time, cry to later making it an arc about another character(arong killing demons who feel) seems... strange.

Ofcourse there's the question of Daon's strength. If he's a demon, Satan at that, shouldn't he be strong like all other demons or infact stronger? Who knows, maybe he is, but after living in a human body he's learnt to control it? Now, using simple human strength is like normal nature to him? Or maybe, and this is more probable, he doesn't have demonic strength. See the other demons were all sent to earth, on missions. Officially, as demons. But Satan fled from hell. Maybe the rules change when a demon leaves hell of their own volition. Maybe that's why he stole the kylum. We are told that with the help of the kylum someone can become immortal even in a human body. But there's no shortage of dead people, and seeing that Satan is on the run, he can just escape from one dead body to another and keep living. (Ofcourse it would be very difficult to find one as gorgeous as Han Daon)

Ofcourse a lot of guesses for Satan was Arong, but she already had a reveal with a twist. The writers won't put 2 big reveals on the same side character. I read in a post that maybe the Assemblyman is Satan. Which is okay but... Given the demonstration of demons in this show, wouldn't Satan be someone cool and hot? Also logically Satan fled from hell 26 yrs ago, the Assemblyman would have already been in late 30s or early 40s by that time. Seeing that Satan had lost the Kylum why would he choose to inhabit a middle aged man? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to choose a child so he can live for a longer time, and so would have more time to find Kylum?

Now on how he remembers his childhood? Maybe the conditions are different for Satan than other demons. Maybe he can remember the memories of the human body before death.

As far as detectives are concerned the main highlight is on 2 of them: Han Daon and Kim So Young. Kim So Young is the perfect role model detective. She's smart, intuitive, patient, doesn't lose her calm, and she wants to help people. Daon has all these characteristics too, except he's much more extreme. A thing that stood out to me since the beginning of the show is Daon's intense need for doing the right thing. To make sure that perpetrators are caught and criminals are punished for their crimes. He goes out of his way to make sure that the victims are protected. He hid under the bed of the murderer to catch Bitna, he made a scene in court and made everyone listen to the recording when it wasn't admitted as evidence. He loses his calm so many times infront of the criminals. He's so hell bent on punishing bad guys that he told So Young that sometimes he actually wants to kill these people.

While these can be simple human charactersistics, you know who else is also hell bent on punishing criminals? Justitia. A demon from hell.

Imagine the no 1 authority in hell, who'd want to punish criminals more than him? But then he's on earth in the body of a small child. And he couldn't even help to catch the psycho murderer because he was a child, because no one would listen to him. So he grew up learning and perfecting ways to punish criminals. Lawfully. And then comes another demon from hell, here to punish criminals and then she openly mocks those laws that he abided by and wanted to uphold, just to punish the criminals in the perfectly deserving way that he had wanted to do for so long. Which is why he's so he'll bent on catching her.

And there shouldn't be any argument about his very human emotions. It took Justitia only a few months to fall in love. We see even other demon who've stayed on earth for a few years develop human emotions. So it isn't surprising at all if he's very human after 25 yrs on earth.

And lastly remains the matter of the cross. Honestly if this is your only argument against Daon being Satan, it is a very weak one. It can be entirely intentional of the writers to keep it there to deviate us from thinking that Daon is Satan. And when we see Daon initially, he's not wearing the cross, it's hanging from the rearview mirror in his truck. And when Justitia asks him if he's religious he deflects the question and changes the topic. He starts wearing the cross only because he could use it against her.

Also Daon being Satan would save the story, in a way. Because how do you see this ending. The logical one would be Justitia finishes her mission and goes back to hell, and Daon continues being a detective. Wouldn't the story make more sense if Daon is Satan. Satan's introduction was Arong telling Bitna about him and saying that if a demon catches him he would surely be rewarded by Bael. We see Justitia willing to merge hell and heaven for Daon. It would be the paradox of the century if it turns out that he's Satan and now she has to turn against all of hell to protect him.

Like I said Daon being Satan would explain a lot of things. Like how he has this insane unhumanly amount of rizz.

Or Daon is human, and I could be completely wrong and this could be just my twisted brain not being able to wait for the next episode and ranting on Tumblr when I should be studying.

[theminecraftbee]

i ABSOLUTELY want to see the behind the scenes/extra symbolism discussion of the blackjack fic!!!!!

YEAH OKAY TIME TO RAMBLE ABOUT CHOICES THERE, i'll stick it under a cut for people who want to read this ficlet without me explaining a lot of the choices. also because it's LONG.

so let's start with: blackjack as the game is a deliberate choice. like, i considered poker, and then realized i like blackjack more. to explain in full i've gotta go into a little detail about the setup.

this is because the setup here is that the watchers, the listeners, grian, and martyn are all "writing the narrative", effectively. they are putting their own wants and desires for what the next life series will be on the table and betting for it. abstractly, grian cares about the gamified life series (the specific rules), the watchers care about the character interactions and the drama of it all, the listeners want it to be meaningful to them and to feel like it has a point, and martyn, though he doesn't really realize this, is here because he is the one who keeps MAKING half the life series narrative, and the one who plays into it the most. they also represent grian as the guy who makes the rules, the watchers and listeners as the audience and the way it sometimes wants the same things and sometimes is opposed to each other in what they want, and martyn as the guy who plays directly into the story.

in blackjack, these people aren't playing against each other. like, okay. blackjack as you play it "properly" can have many people at a table, but you'll notice that if you try to use an odds calculator online, there's no way to calculate odds based on what any hands but yours and the dealer's are. that's because blackjack decks in casinos are normally like, at LEAST four decks shuffled together, to make counting cards harder. besides, the people at the table with you aren't your opponents anyway! everyone at the table can beat the dealer and get double their bet back. or, in this story, everyone at the table can beat the dealer and get their part of the story guaranteed to be in the next game. they aren't COLLABORATIVE--there's no way to help the other people at the table either! but they aren't ADVERSARIAL. they are not, inherently, working against each other. they just happen to be all playing against the same dealer.

so anyway, the dealer here is death, because one, as death points out in the ficlet, literally the only inevitable constant in the life series is death. the story will INEVITABLY end with everyone dead. everyone is playing against death to get the kind of story they want, because ultimately, what will REALLY shape the story is those deaths. in the life series, death ultimately decides how the story goes, and you're betting against it to tell the specific story you want.

that's also why death wins the tie. its my understanding that a tie in many casinos actually just means you get your bet back; you lose nothing, but you gain nothing also. however, this game is rigged. you can't 'tie' death; it's death. if you die, it's game over, after all.

death is also the dealer, however, because it is PREDICTABLE. one strange quality of blackjack is that the dealer's moves are entirely deterministic. sure, you don't know what the dealer's actual hand is, since they keep a card hidden--that's why it's gambling--but a dealer in blackjack, by rule, must ALWAYS take a hit if their hand is 16 or lower, and must ALWAYS stay if their hand is 17 or higher. no exceptions. as such, you can guarantee the dealer will always have at least a 17 at the end of a round, or they will bust. death in the life series follows rules. you know when it's coming. it's more a matter of whether you can stop it.

that make sense as a metaphor? okay cool.

anyway, more details! so the specific cards dealt here don't matter so much as the hands; i don't know cartomancy someone else will have to tell you about the symbolic meanings of a standard deck of cards. what i CAN tell you is that the hands everyone got and how they played them was deliberate.

so, first: basically everyone made what is arguably the "correct" play. yes even martyn. we'll get to that. however, what happened with each of them represents their personality.

grian doubles down. it's grian, of course he does! for those of you who don't know how doubling down works: when you have a hand of 9, 10, or 11, it is reasonable to double down. the dealer deals you exactly one face-down card that you don't reveal until the dealer reveals their hand, and you double your bet. the reason these specific numbers are the ones you double down on is because, mathematically, you can't bust on these in one card, and you're somewhat more likely to get a winning hand with them than not. however, doubling down means you can't take another hit! you have no way to know if you'll beat the dealer or not after you do so! after all, if you, say, are like, grian, you'll most likely need at least a 7 to beat the dealer if you double down with a 10. you're guaranteed not to bust, sure, but you've doubled your risk anyway.

of course, grian is exactly the kind of guy to double his risk in a situation where he has nothing to lose. of COURSE he doubles down. and of course he loses; he doesn't bust, sure, but that face-down card isn't nearly high enough to win.

(grian also had to lose so i wasn't directly making a rules prediction, lol. him losing leaves it somewhat more ambiguous whether his rules requests of 'enforced red name bloodlust' and 'no life trading' will be true or not.)

the watcher wins the hand outright, standing immediately. a 19 is a pretty good hand, and drawing a 19 outright is ABSOLUTELY a situation where you never take a hit. the watcher also wins outright because "bonds that are seemingly unbreakable" is, in fact, a life series standard. the interpersonal relationships are like, the whole story. of course that gets to beat death and make it in! however, it's not like the watcher gets a blackjack; it's no SO guaranteed that it gets a 21. there's always a chance of going wrong.

the listener busts outright. there is no guarantee of your death being meaningful. sometimes, you just get unlucky in the hand you draw.

then, there's martyn, who has a 16. when the dealer has a 7, the dealer is MOST LIKELY to have a hand that will beat a 16. that's a strong card for the dealer to have! however, 16 is a hand you are statistically most likely to lose with in that scenario. the odds are already stacked against martyn; if he doesn't hit, the dealer will almost be guaranteed to win, but if he DOES hit, he's far more likely to bust than he is to win. so, what do you do? most odds calculators tell you to take the hit, because it gives you slightly better odds of winning, but there are ALSO multiple people who will tell you NOT to take the hit, because "not busting" can sometimes be all you need in order to win. you CAN'T win if you bust, after all, and in blackjack, if you bust, you hand over your bet before you even determine if the dealer busts.

(i've seen some people say you should just surrender outright if you have a 16 and the dealer is showing 7 or more; that's the kind of situation that is.)

martyn, of course, takes the hit, because martyn's the kind of guy to risk the statistical odds he loses then and there. he's rewarded for it, sort of! he gets an 18, which is a decent hand! he then holds, because you have to be actively stupid to take a hit on an 18.

unfortunately for martyn, he doesn't actually escape the odds entirely. he tells a good story by taking that risk, sure, but death comes for us all in the end. also, martyn had like a 75% chance to lose anyway--like i said, 16 when the dealer is showing 7 or higher is just about the worst possible situation to be in while playing blackjack. i went ahead and gave death a 3 there too, because sometimes the world is unfair. sometimes if you take the risk that would make you seem actively stupid, that risk would have paid off. sure, 90% of the time it wouldn't, but one out of a hundred, maybe, if you had taken the hit--

anyway. i could probably say more but this is already long enough. gestures. CARD GAMES WITH STAKES AND MEANING OUTSIDE OF THE GAME ITSELF MY BELOVED.

[minzart]

[Vignette + rambling of the design bellow]

Will: Grim has been really interested in this museum, I thought he would whine more to be honest, but I guess not, the great seven are something he really is interested in....

Grim: HENCHMEN! Come take a look!

Will: hm? What is it?

Grim: are you seeing this guy, he was the thorn witch henchman! It says here he was the only capable being of her army, and he's just a raven!

Will: hm... he found someone she was looking for 16 years, her goons didn't take in consideration that said person ages as time goes on... so he got one more braincell than normal?

Grim: exactly! I heard from Tsunotarou he was extremely loyal too! He is a great role model to you

Will: me?!

Grim: if course! You are my henchman after all! You gotta step up and learn from good examples hehehe

Will: why does this feel like you are mocking me...

Grim: aw don't worry, you are already plenty smarter than one bird brain we know of :)

Will: .... the bar is that low to ya isn't it?

---

Grim: what a weird corridor.... it isn't as fancy as the rest of the museum

Will: I think we shouldn't be here

Grim: nahhh you are just scared! We are benefactors! We gotta see all that the museum has to offer right?! Comon' it's a special year! It's 100 anniversary don't be a scared kitty

Will: says the talking cat

Grim: I AM NOT A CAT! - ohhhh who's that?

Will: the plate says "the dark mountain demon, a being once said to rule over the night and it's spirits, he slept by day and reighned caos by night"

Grim: he looks like he's the size of that mountain! Do you think I'm gonna grow that big?

Will: I hope not or else not even a truck of tuna cans will satiate your hunger

---

Will: I think we should get back Grim, it doesn't look like we should be here

Grim: yeah... the lights are really week here... FUGNYA! WHO IS THAT!

Will: that's just a... ohhh... ok yeah the red eyes are kinda creepy, but it's just a painting... a... very old painting... and unkempt too....

Grim: no wonder they don't want to put it were everyone can see, he's ugly.... and scary- NOT THAT I'M SCARED OF COURSE!

Will: "the caudron king"-Deuce's rival got it- "once a powerful magician with a caudron that could rise the dead..." I can't read the rest the plate is too damaged

Grim: powerful magician? Do you think he was that strong? He's just bones

Will: Epel said the same thing of Vil's physical power and look were that got him

Grim: hey... will... doesn't the eyes of this paint look... that... they are following us....?

Will: .... WHAT A NICE PAITING OVER THERE IN A LIGHTER CORRIDOR I THINK IT'S THE QUEEN OF HEARTS LET'S GO OVER THERE

Grim: right behind you!

----------

Wil's pose was based on this scene of the official 100 year anniversary art were the characters are in a "disney" artstyle

Grim looks like he was tossed into the air and is looking at carter's camera like the heartslabyul crew, so one of Will's hand looks like it's tosing something up and the other a peace sigh

[shewhopats]

Overwatch characters watching your kid

I've been thinking about writing some silly short stories about OW characters getting stuck watching someone's kid, but I figured I would make this guide for my headcannon for the kind of babysitter each of them would be.

Brigitte and Reinhardt would make you the most nervous with their methods. Lots of rough-housing, throwing them around and into the air, giving your kid sugar, letting them climb things, and overall just encouraging mayhem and rule-breaking. "You mom/dad doesn't let you do this at home? Well, they're not here, are they?" Your kid will come home thoroughly exhausted, but bitter about you not being as fun as they are.

Orisa would make the same mistakes as Brigitte and Reinhardt, but more out of ignorance and inexperience. Like letting your kid stay up too late, because she doesn't understand why going to bed at a decent time is important, or feeding them something that makes them sick because that's what they said they wanted to eat. Unintentionally lets your kid walk all over her, but once you teach her how it's done, she'll be your go-to option when you need a break.

Zenyatta would be so intrigued by the natural imagination and curiosity of children. He'd provide lots of different toys, art supplies, and time for unrestricted and uninstructed play. A one-man enrichment program. Just don't try to tell him there are boy toys and girls toys. Your kid will be allowed to play with whatever they want. He would also unironically have a blast playing pretend with dolls or action figures. I'm talking a 25-part narrative with backstories, lore, worldbuilding, and an Endgame-style final conflict.

Genji, Kiriko, Tracer, and B.O.B would be the kings and queens of "don't tell your parents." Extra screen-time, taking them out for ice cream, staying up a little later then their normal bedtime, etc. What I would call "a healthy amount of rule-breaking." They have everyone else convinced they are Responsible™ but you can't help noticing that your kid is always excited to hangout with them.

Ana and Torbjorn could be depended on the same way you can trust grandma and grandpa. They've had kids, so they know all the tips, tricks, and games to keep your kid clean, fed, safe, and happy. Just don't tell them some dumb shit like "organic, non-gmo fruits only." Your kid will be eating bananas from the supermarket like everyone else. But for more sensible rules, even the ones they don't agree with, they will follow them.

Echo will make you fill out a 200-question survey and write an essay on how you want your kid cared for. She will follow every instruction down to the letter, and send you updates every 30 minutes. If your kid sneezes, she will call you to ask about it. The downside is your kid will probably hate her for being such a rules monger.

Baptiste, Illari, Lucio, and Sojourn would try so hard to be responsible and follow your instructions, but puppy-eyes work on them 80% of the time. Your home will look like a warzone when you get back, but they'll help you clean up.

Lifeweaver, Pharah, Mei, and Zarya would get a whiff of that specific smell babies have that makes your DNA scream at you to make one yourself. They would be the sweetest, most gentle caretakers on this list. They'll spend most of the time snuggling on the couch, watching T.V. and drinking hot coco. Would let your kid give them a makeover, paint their nails, and play with their hair. Would read to and rock them to sleep, tuck them in really snug. They'd probably look forward to seeing your kid again, and every time you happen upon one of them, they'll only ask what's going on with the kiddo.

Sombra, Symmetra, and Widowmaker would rather be water-boarded then spend five minutes with those sticky-fingered cunt goblins you call kids.

Ashe, Hanzo, and Winston would happily agree to babysit for you, thinking they will be serviceable at it. How hard could it be? Then an hour later they call you, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and beg you to come back, because your kid is crying or throwing a tantrum. They definitely have the potential to be great caretakers, but they would need someone to walk them through it at first.

Bastion and Sigma definitely WANT to give babysitting a try, but they understand why that's probably not a safe idea. They would question your intelligence if you asked them.

Cassidy and D.va would take your kid to McDonalds or somewhere else with else with a play-place, and let them go wild while they sit on a bench nearby. They will do the bare minimum amount of work to keep your kid alive, because they have better things to do. Would only babysit as a favor for you if no one else is available.

Mercy is married to her work, and Ramattra is dedicated to his mission. If you somehow convince them to watch your kid for even a single hour, they'll set-up a playpen with whatever toys they like, toss in a sippy cup and snack every now and then, and ignore their existence while they do their usual business.

Doomfist, Moira, Reaper, and Soldier: 76 would tape your kid to a chair the first time it annoys them. I know there's the fandom joke of S76 being the dad of the team, but he's always come off as grumpy and impatient to me.

Your kid would love the junkers (Junker Queen, Junkrat, Roadhog, Wrecking Ball) for all the wrong reasons. They would teach your kid how to make a grenade launcher out of plastic bottles and rubber bands, 37 new swear words, and how to punch people in the throat. Unless you want to get a call from the school about your kid blowing up the chemistry room, I would choose literally anyone else to babysit.

Mauga would use your kids to get dates. He'll take your daughter to a dance class and talk to any single parents about how much of a family man he is and how difficult being a single dad. He'll take your son to play catch in a park so he has an excuse to take his shirt off and flex his muscles. He'll coach your kid to walk up to someone and say, "my uncle thinks your pretty, so maybe you can play with us."

[shmowder]

Back to your dom/sub tierlist for a bit. Which of the doms and switches on your list would prefer an obedient sub and which would prefer a bratty one?

I personally feel like Andrey would definitely go for a bratty, feisty sub, as would Bad Grief when he's domming. They both seem like they'd be into someone who's a free spirit. When Grief moves into the Cathedral and you don't get rid of Barley, he says, "There's some undeniable freedom inside you." Idk, I keep thinking about that.

Also, something tells me Daniil and Mark might have fun with a brat? Georgiy might get something out of putting them in their place, but I don't know if he'd like it, necessarily.

Everyone else, though, I think would prefer an obedient sub. They're too serious. This is perhaps influenced by the tragic absence of brat bones in my body 😔 I'd love to hear your thoughts even if they're different from mine!

🐿️ anon

Those are really good ideas omfg we are on the same wavelength

All the Kains claim they want an obedient bottom but really, they want a brat to break and wear down until they obey their every word.

Not all the characters hold the same intentions for the type of reader they want. For example, Aglaya would try to get you to obey her every word and follow her rules while Mark Immortell thrives on tricking you and making you accidentally break the rules. Aspity wants you to have blind trust and faith in her while being completely unhinged.

Or the spoiled Reader. Victor would be still try to show he's in control, while someone like Rubin would steal the moon from the sky for you and be at your beck and call for every need. Lara is more authoritarian while Artemy is more sentimental in bed.

The enthusiastic category refers to a bottom reader who makes their partner know how much they want them, how much they're enjoying this and absolutely smitten with their partner.

Dom or top Characters there would be down bad for a reader who showers them in compliments and drowns them in love.

Yulia would absolutely melt from the affection.

While someone like Eva would match your energy and return it tenfolds.

General Block would find your enthusiasm refreshing, especially since he has no use for coyness or shyness. He wants someone direct and as honest about wanting him as he is about them.

Anna thrives under attention and praise, stroking her ego is the best way to ensure she has a great time in bed. She doubles her efforts to impress you and show off her flexibility.

With brat Reader, someone like Maria would get an absolute thrill from breaking you down.

While someone like Georgiy would gradually wear you down and make you concede on your own.

Andrey would take you up on your big talk and all bark no bite, then ask why you're quiet all of the sudden, huh? He earned his arrogance and the right to be confident because he knows he can follow up with his promises.

With Daniil, it's like having a brat off? He'd love an obedient reader just as much ngl, but I had to make him pick a side. He claims he can handle a brat, but absolutely cannot in reality and end up getting his ego hurt when he can't get you to obey him. Dankovsky can only tame the softest of brats.

The powerbottom category is super fitting.

Someone like Oyun would willingly give up power and let you pull him around by the horns and take the lead.

While Katerina would pretend to put up a fight for power and lose at the last minute.

Peter is there because it's less work to do for him during sex, he's– Well he isn't the most attentive partner, you'll do most of the work.

Young Vlad actually wants to be overpowered. He would piss you off deliberately just to have you ride his face out of spite.

-

Isidor is... well... Listen. All of us thought about being sandwiched between Isidor and Simon at least once, right? That is a very normal and common thought that everyone in the pathologic fandom has at least once...right???

He'd want you to obey, that man has very little control about the things around him; his bedroom won't be one of them.

Simon is a little fucking shit I tell you. He'd walk on you and Isidor doing the deed all unbothered just to have a conversation with him then leave without sparing you at glance, at other times he's very attentive in bed and lets you be freely without rules or anything.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

“QTBIPOC”

And then they have the audacity to feel insulted when we make fun of their ridiculous acronyms.

Oh, just realized I typed a keyword, something that’s usually overlooked when speaking about wokeism: fun.

Do these people actually have fun? Because from the looks of it they have no irony let alone self irony. They don’t like to joke because it can “offend someone”, they can’t even tell a joke apart from a serious sentence.

So I believe this needs to be analyzed more in depth, maybe you can find something because I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that people with “certain beliefs” are less inclined to have fun and make jokes than, you know, regular folks. Oh, the horror to say “regular”, “normal” and so on. I deserve to be burned at the stake for saying this, I know.

They're some of the most joyless, insufferable, sanctimonious people on the face of the planet. The best comparison - and I realise this is not even slightly the first time it's been made - is the Puritans.

God, even modern fucking Xians at least find joy in the idea that a magical invisible space wizard loves them and plans to torture the heathens.

One of the reasons they're against comedy is that it has been historically used to challenge authority. When you laugh at authority, you become less or no longer afraid of that authority. They are now the authority. They are the ruling class. They occupy privileged positions in government, education, media, entertainment, tech, industry, everywhere. (For now.) And comedy is a no-no because they can't have their regime challenged, and they especially can't have people laughing at how incoherent and nonsensical it is.

These people are social constructivists, so they believe that reality itself is constructed through discourses - the way we talk about things. And all discourse is an expression of power. That's a real tenet of the ideology. So, they want to control the discourse.

I copied the following down some time ago, although I don't remember where it's from or who said it:

"They don’t use language to communicate they use language to manipulate"

They use language to create an alternate, parallel universe. "Trans women are women," "you can't be racist to white people," "you can't be sexist to men," "Islam is a religion of peace." These are all obviously false things. But the idea is to try to bed these ideas through language so that the words to object to what they're doing will not exist.

"Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it."

They redefine words to socially engineer the world the way they want it to be. Having any kind of fun works against this, because the versatility of language itself works against this. A double entendre, a pun, a song, anything that doesn't adhere to the approved language and message undermines the authority of their perfect, alternate universe.

It's not unlike how the church uses blasphemy to stifle unapproved thought. The Word of God is authoritative, and like a magic spell, the "wrong" words spoken aloud causes souls to be damned for eternity.

It's the same kind of magical thinking.

And then, of course, there's the fact this ideology is competitive. This happens in evangelical and charismatic Xianity too, where everyone compares themselves to everyone else and tries to keep up with each other to be more godly, more pious, more devoted to Jesus. The same thing happens here.

If you don't spot the problem, then the problem is you.

If you're having fun, you're not engaged in the holy sacrament of Problematization. To quote the execrable, repugnant scam-artist Anita Sarkeesian,

"Everything is sexist, everything is homophobic, everything is problematic, and you have to point it all out."

You're supposed to lecture everyone on why you're just more enlightened than they are, how they need to aspire to be anywhere near as morally sophisticated as you are. It's like luxury goods. They're showing off their high-priced, first-world, elitist ideals.

Rob Henderson describes "luxury beliefs" as status symbols.

Luxury beliefs have, to a large extent, replaced luxury goods. Luxury beliefs are ideas and opinions that confer status on the upper class, while often inflicting costs on the lower classes.

When you think you're carrying around the moral-religious ideological equivalent of a genuine Hermès handbag, you can't be seen to be goofy and light-hearted. Being better than everyone else is serious business.

Here's a practical, real-time example of its competitive nature.

There's currently a ton of people huffing and puffing and posturing about abandoning Twitter/X and moving to Bluesky. But, what's happening on Bluesky?

The activists are now all now reporting each other. If you populated Bluesky with only far-left activists, then give it a few weeks, you'd then find a subset of extremely leftist people labelled "far-right" and "Nazis." Because that's how their ideology works.

Which is also why you should never be bothered about their attempts to label you. You just point out what they're doing to show how dishonest and manipulative they are, and you ignore them.

Intersectional moral superiority is a competitive sport. Kind of like veganism.

Lisa: Oh, the earth is the best! That's why I'm a vegetarian. Jesse: Heh. Well, that's a start. Lisa: Uh, well, I was thinking of going vegan. Jesse: [chuckles] I'm a level 5 vegan -- I won't eat anything that casts a shadow. Lisa: Wow. Um ... I started an organic compost pile at home. Jesse: Only at home? You mean you don't pocket-mulch? [takes out pocket stuff for Lisa to feel] Lisa: Oh, it's so decomposed!

By the way, these same people were huffing and puffing and posturing last year about abandoning Twitter/X and moving to Threads and Mastodon when Elon Musk bought and took over Twitter. Funny how they ended up back on Twitter/X. Almost as if Threads and Mastodon were failures, they need enemies to feel self-righteous, and storming off is part of their performative moralizing.

Most of them haven't actually deleted their accounts. Like Arnie, they'll be back.

So, yes. For a lot of reasons, they're humorless, joyless, killers-of-all-fun churchladies.

Which is why you have to laugh at them.