#why can't it go visit the whale buddy

[greenlodgecypher]

[mikeyslovers-blog]

why luffy?

The Straw Hat Pirates had achieved the unimaginable. They had journeyed across the Grand Line, conquered the treacherous New World, and their captain, Monkey D. Luffy, had finally become the Pirate King. It was a joyous time for the crew, as they celebrated their accomplishments with a grand feast on the deck of the Thousand Sunny.

After the celebrations had died down, Luffy gathered his crew together. "Alright, everyone, it's time for our next adventure!" he declared, a wide grin on his face. "We're setting sail for the East Blue!"

His crew cheered in response, their excitement palpable. They had all agreed that after achieving their ultimate goal, they would return to where it all began and have some well-deserved downtime.

As they sailed towards the East Blue, Luffy couldn't help but feel a gnawing pain in his chest. It was an ache he had been trying to ignore for a while now. He knew something was wrong with him, but he didn't want to worry his crew, especially not Zoro, his lover and best friend.

Days turned into weeks, and Luffy's condition continued to deteriorate. He would often find himself short of breath and fatigued, but he dismissed it as mere exhaustion from their long journey. His crewmates began to notice his increasingly pale complexion and frequent bouts of coughing, but Luffy was a master of hiding his discomfort.

It was when they finally reached the Twin Capes that their paths crossed with an old friend. Laboon, the giant whale, greeted them with a thunderous cry of joy as they sailed into sight.

"Laboon!" Luffy shouted, his eyes lighting up as he saw his old friend. "I missed you, buddy!"

Laboon responded with a joyous splash, and the crew couldn't help but be swept up in the heartwarming reunion. They anchored the Sunny near Laboon's side, and everyone eagerly disembarked to spend time with the giant whale.

As the crew chatted with Laboon, Luffy's condition took a turn for the worse. He tried to keep up appearances, but he was struggling to hide his pain. Zoro, ever vigilant, noticed Luffy's labored breathing and the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Luffy," Zoro said, his voice tinged with concern, "you don't look so good. Are you alright?"

Luffy forced a laugh. "I'm fine, Zoro! Just a little tired from all the celebrating. You know me, I'm always pushing my limits!"

Zoro wasn't convinced, but he didn't want to press the issue in front of everyone. He knew Luffy could be stubborn.

The crew continued their visit with Laboon, but Luffy's condition worsened with each passing moment. He clutched his chest, trying to hide the pain that was threatening to consume him.

Chopper, the crew's doctor, was the first to notice that something was seriously wrong. He approached Luffy cautiously and asked, "Captain, are you sure you're okay? I can check you out if you want."

Luffy waved him off, his breathing growing more erratic. "Nah, Chopper, I'm just... just a little... ow!"

But before he could finish his sentence, Luffy collapsed to the ground, clutching his chest in agony. Zoro and the rest of the crew gasped in shock.

"Luffy!" Zoro cried out, rushing to his side. "Chopper, help him!"

Chopper immediately sprang into action, examining Luffy with a worried expression. "This is bad," he muttered.

As Luffy slowly regained consciousness, he opened his eyes to see Zoro and the crew surrounding him, their faces a mixture of fear and concern.

"Zoro," Luffy whispered weakly, "I... I didn't want you to worry."

Zoro held Luffy's hand tightly, his voice trembling. "Luffy, what's going on? What's wrong with you?"

Luffy looked down, tears welling up in his eyes. "I have an illness, Zoro. One that even Chopper can't find a cure for. I didn't want to burden you all with it."

The crew exchanged worried glances, realizing the gravity of the situation. Luffy had been hiding his pain from them for far too long.

Zoro leaned in, gently kissing Luffy's forehead. "You idiot," he said softly. "We're a family, and we face everything together. We'll find a way to help you, no matter what it takes."

Luffy smiled weakly, relieved that he no longer had to bear his burden alone. With his crew by his side, he knew that he could face anything, even an illness that seemed incurable.

Chopper's concern deepened as he examined Luffy, and he began asking a series of questions. "Luffy, when did you start feeling ill? Have you been experiencing these symptoms for a while?"

Luffy, still weak and in pain, managed to nod. "Yeah, Chopper, it started a long time ago. But I thought it would go away on its own, so I didn't want to bother you guys with it."

As Luffy spoke, the gravity of the situation began to sink in for his crew. Usopp, who had been busy regaling Laboon with tales of their adventures, turned to look at Luffy in shock. "Luffy, you've been suffering all this time? And we didn't notice?"

Nami, who had been enjoying the clear blue skies, put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Luffy, how could you keep something like this from us?"

Brook, the crew's musician, nodded in agreement. "Yohoho! This is unforgivable! We should have noticed something was wrong!"

Jinbe, the former Warlord of the Sea, wore a pained expression. "Luffy, you should have told us. We're your nakama, and we would have done anything to help."

Robin, the crew's archaeologist, her voice calm but filled with concern, said, "Luffy, we can't change the past, but we can support you now. Please, let us help."

Sanji, who had been preparing a meal for Laboon, clenched his fists in frustration. "Luffy, you damn fool! I should have seen it! I should have known something was wrong!"

Zoro, who had been holding Luffy's hand all this time, felt an overwhelming wave of guilt wash over him. He was Luffy's first mate, his right-hand man, and his lover. He should have been more attentive. "Luffy," he said, his voice filled with regret, "I knew something was off, but I let you brush it off every time. I should have pushed harder for answers."

Luffy looked at his crew, tears welling up in his eyes, not from physical pain but from the overwhelming emotions of their concern and support. "I didn't want to worry any of you," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "You guys mean everything to me, and I didn't want my illness to burden you."

Chopper, realizing the depth of his own oversight as the crew's doctor, sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Luffy. I should have been more observant. But we can figure this out together, I promise."

As the crew gathered around their captain, they knew that this was a turning point. They had faced countless challenges together, but now they faced one of their own, and they were determined to support Luffy in any way they could.

[wkandaforever]

"well you can't go in dressed like that' namor my guy. my buddy. my man you dressed her like that

the talokanil guards explicitly mentioned that we dress royalty in those clothes and since no one from the surface world ever visits their kingdom you'd think that they don't have reinforcements for people who can't breathe underwater but? they do?? they have these full-on diving suits all ready to go, yet they didn't offer that to shuri? instead they got those jade-studded royal garbs tailor-made for shuri when she arrived like yesterday

why the heck did namor meet her on the surface of talokan? why did he have to dress her up like that and dress up himself to meet her outside of water? why didn't he just let her wear attuma's mask and have their meeting on a whale or smth? Ah K'uk'ulkan The Feather Serpent God?? Sir?? Tell me you were smitten with the princess from the moment you laid eyes on her without telling me you were smitten with the princess from the moment you laid eyes on her???

[fanfoolishness]

Thoughts!

Definitely baffling to see dozens of new Mandalorians. How much time has passed since BoBF? What have Din and Grogu been doing during this time? Apparently they haven't been nearly as effective as the Armorer. I suppose you could wave it away as the Armorer and Paz rejoined some of the covert that had survived Nevarro, but then why not mention them to Din... ehh who cares.

Yeah apparently exile means visits are fine, you just can't stay longer than 20 minutes or everyone starts glaring at you. Which you can totally tell, you know, with the helmets and all.... If they do want us to think Din's covert is a cult, they need to get better at shunning.

I like the whales! There should be more weird inexplicable things in Star Wars that ultimately just cause Grogu to cuddle Din.

I am cackling over here at the idea of pirate church that Greef ruined XD I agree, these pirates are powerful petty in their nonsense. But on the second watch I remembered the bar Greef and Din used to meet in back in the day. I guess the pirates are just awfully sentimental?

The only thing I can come up with for Din needing a droid now is if Mandalore really is poisoned. Maybe he needs the droid for reconnaissance, in case he gets there and neither he nor Grogu can breathe or safely get to the living waters. Or, if Grogu needs to be kept safe while Din braves the blasted poisonous lands?

Yeah, nah, I agree, there should not be so much of IG left. I had assumed the statue when first seen in S2 was just a bronze cast of an IG unit. Also feels so sad for Din to not mention Kuiil :(

YES HOW DO THEY LIVE DAMMIT!! I need to see them getting a hotel room, cleaning up, resting, all that good stuff! Star Wars movies have always been awful about this but dammit, it's a TV show, you've got the fucking time.

I assume Bo has a little side room off the main castle hall where she hangs out in her PJs with her little droid buddy. Maybe she sulkily watches holos set in Mandalore's heyday. I'm curious to see where they go.

Maybe the Mines became a tourist attraction in the later days of the Mandalorian Empire. Be pretty funny if we saw posters or something all around the Civic Center like something out of Bioshock. "Bathe in the Living Waters today!"

Let's embrace the silliness where we can, and fanfic away the rest XD

I'm rewatching the season 3 premiere and am increasingly wtf. I feel like whining about it in public so here goes.

Stop reading now if you just want to look at Mando and Baby Yoda and not feel unhappy about anything.

(Also Din and Grogu, I still love you. I'm sorry your storytellers let you down.)

(Also, also-- Hey guess what, after writing all this out I actually feel much better and ready to embrace the silliness. Onward to episode 2!)

-

Who the heck was behind the camera? The framing in the opening scene with the Armorer is so pedestrian it looks amateurish. And don't get me started on having her take time to face the camera and show off the new helmet. Seriously??

What is going on with the editing in the Giant Alligator Monster scene? It's meant to be a big exciting action sequence but the timing is off. Instead of cutting from action to immediate result, there are extra beats left in all over the place.

How does the Armorer suddenly have a huge number of followers? Last time we saw her, she and Paz were hiding out, alone, in the bowels of a space city. And before that, most of the covert got wiped out and we didn't know if anyone else survived. How much time has passed? And if it's been months or years, why hasn't Din been to Mandalore himself yet? Why is he collecting artifacts from randoms instead of going to see for himself?

Why is Din talking about getting a "decree of exile" lifted when he's sitting there talking to the Armorer and clearly can show up to visit wherever the hell he wants???

Also why does the Artifact from Mandalore look like somebody's kindergarten art project?

Wth are the giant space squids? whales? Idk? flying alongside while they're in hyperspace? I guess they're supposed to be scary because Grogu goes looking for a hug from Din after seeing them but then they never show up again so ???

The pirates trying to get a drink at the school could have been a great interaction, akin to Mayfeld's bullying. But it falls completely flat. Why are they obsessed with that building always needing to be a bar? Is it cultural? Was that, like, pirate church and Karga's metaphorically pissed on the altar?

Is Navarro a thriving, peaceful, prosperous place, or does it desperately need a new town marshall? Make up your mind, Favreau.

Why does Din suddenly need a droid? Why???

I'm sorry. IG-11 melted and exploded. There is not that much of him left. No.

How come Grogu didn't really have a role in this episode. He's just kind of there.

Where do they live? Where does Din go to take a shower? Where/when/how do they eat? I was looking forward to seeing how Din was going to deal with all that real life stuff without the Razor Crest but apparently in this new version nobody ever even has to pee.

Another chase through an asteroid field. Really? 🥱 Also if the pirate dude values his colleagues' lives so much, why does he get them into a situation where they're going to ram into asteroids and explode.

Why is Bo Katan's enormous fancy castle on an isolated peninsula? Is it just to be dramatic? Also if she's all alone out there what does she eat? I'm picturing Space Instacart delivering ice cream and Cheetos.

There is something hilarious about the great Mines of Mandolore being beneath the civic center.

[omgkalyppso]

📓📓📓ooo spill!!!

A fic I will either write in a frenzy or never write is a single parent au for my fe3h ot5.

Lorenz is father to Lorencia and Baldovin (Vinnie), a widower. Hilda is mother to Halvard, divorced from Caspar (exes affectionate). Claude is father to Nader, divorced from Ingrid (exes derogatory). Fae is parent to Geralt, situation [redacted]. Avery is childless.

Here's A Lot of blocked dialogue:

[at the park the faerghus four frequent with their kids. DimiMari, FeLys, Ingrid as Claude’s ex, Sylvain hanging on (eventual Sylgrid), school year soon to start] Claude: Hey. Group: Hey. Dimitri: It's good to see you again. Marianne: Good evening. Lysithea: Hi Claude. Felix: Mm. Sylvain: It's been a while. Claude: [commenting on the # of children in the park] Busy day. Ingrid: They need to enjoy the sun while they can. Claude: Couldn't agree more. Sylvain: Plans for the weekend? Claude: Nothing out of the ordinary, not leaving town. Ingrid: What's that supposed to mean? Claude: Dinner with my parents. Sara and her family are visiting on their way up north. Whale watching. Marianne: Oh, that's lovely, I hope they have a good time. Claude: I'll share the well wishes. FeLys kid: Ned, Ned, look what we found. Felix: What's that? No, hey. This has gotta be cleaned before you can play with this. [action figure in the sand] Claude: Ned? Ingrid: It's a nickname. Some of his friends were having trouble with Nader. Claude: Did you talk to them about it? Ingrid: No, it seemed harmless. Claude: It's not— It's not his name. Blythe: Ned! Claude: Are you calling him that? [other parents disperse, Marianne’s phone rings] Ingrid: Of course not. I wasn't having trouble with my son's name. Claude: It's important. Ingrid: I know it is. What do you want me to do, about it, exactly? Claude: The next time his friends are over, just, bring it up. Ingrid: Alright. Claude: [hopeful] Yeah? Ingrid: Yeah, okay. Claude: Thank you. Ingrid: [hopeful] You're not going to leave yet are you? Claude: No, I— I won't interrupt. Ingrid: Good. Just a few more minutes. Claude: Yeah.

[in claude’s car] Claude: Did you have a good day, champ? Nader: Yeah, [description of day's events]. What about you Baba, did you have a nice day? Claude: You know it. Found a solution to a hard problem at work, got to see my friends, and now we're going to have a wonderful evening together, aren't we?

[after a movie on a couch in claude’s apartment] Claude: D'j'you like that? Nader: Mmhm. The [themes or characters a child would like]. Claude: Right. Hey Nader? Nader: Mm? Claude: Did you ask your friends to start calling you Ned? I'm not angry, I'm just curious. Nader: It just happened, and Ned is like, a smart name? So I don't mind being Ned sometimes. Claude: You know, I think Nader's a pretty smart name. Nader: [clearly trying not to laugh] No. Claude: [scoffed, bringing Nader from couch to bed] Yeah, I do. Don't you think grandpa's smart? Nader: Sometimes. Claude: [amused] Oh, sometimes. Maybe. But I wouldn't have called you Nader if I didn't think he was smart, and brave, and honorable. [sincere] You know even if you're not, you're my Nader, and I don't want you to forget that, you know? I love you. Nader: I love you too. Claude: Good. Sweet dreams, Nader. Nader: Night night. Claude: Night night.

[text conversation from Claude’s bed] Avery, much earlier: Hey Claude: Sorry, busy night Avery: Date? Claude: Noooo. I have more class than that Avery: Mmm. Well, it's late, but it's Friday, you hitting me up? Claude: Reminder that you messaged me first, and no, I can't tonight Avery: Alright. Well, when works for you Claude: Tuesday? Avery: Tuesday? I could have a fiance by Tuesday Claude: Ooo. Menage a trois Avery: I'll text Claude: I'll answer Avery: Later Claude: Night

[previous day in a parking lot] Halvard: Dad! Caspar: Heya, buddy! Rawr!!! You got everything? Look at the size of these bags. Halvard: Mhmm. Caspar: There's a good boy. Why don't you say hi to Annie? Hilda: Hi Caspar. Caspar: Hey Hilda. Hilda: He's been looking forward to this. Caspar: Bet you have too? Some time to relax. Hilda: [suppressing tears] No, I'm… I'm just going to miss him. Caspar: [plaintive] It's only for a week— Hilda: I know. Still, you'll have him call me? Caspar: Of course. Hilda: Good. Then have fun. Don't worry about me. Caspar: You'll like it. Find a party, like you used to. Hilda: [annoyed] Cas— Caspar: Or something else. Just try to enjoy it. Hilda: Halvard. Have a good time, okay? Halvard: Yeah! Hilda: Call me if you need me? Halvard: I'm sorry you can't come, Mom. (framed like she doesn't have time) Hilda: That's alright. Maybe next time. [to Annie] Come here and hug me too before you go. Annette: Thank you, Hilda. Hilda: Of course. Travel safely. Good luck with the boys.

[phone conversation from hilda’s parked car] Marianne: Hi Hilda. Hilda: Hi Marianne. You were right, I cried again. Marianne: That's alright. That's normal. That's healthy! Hilda: Thanks, sweetie. Ugh. It's just so hard. Marianne: I know it is. You handle the situation so well, I know Caspar appreciates it, and that Hal will, someday. Hilda: I hope so. Thank you. Marianne: Any time, Hilda. And you called in time to pull me away from Claude's mess. We're all at the park and … well, you know how it is. Hilda: [less tears, more embarrassed] Yeah. Yeah, I do. Marianne: Sorry, I— Hilda: No, it's fine. I— I think I'm going to go though. Say hi to Dimitri and Blythe, and everyone. Marianne: I will. Hilda: All my love. Marianne: Love you too Hilda. Bye. Hilda: Bye.

[sometime during the weekend, at the park near claude’s apartment; nader hangs from monkey bars and geralt hangs from nader’s feet] Fae: Gerry. Gerry, you can't do that. Nader: It's okay. I'm very strong. Fae: I'm sure that's true, and so is Geralt, isn't that right? [lifting their son off the unknown child and down into sand] Which means he could hurt your back or your ankles, or you could fall on his head. So can we take the bars one at a time in the future, please? Geralt: Yes, Renny. Nader: Yeah. Fae: Thank you. What's your name? Nader: Nader. Fae: Oh, Nader, what a lovely name you have. Has Geralt introduced himself? Nader: Yeah, a little. Fae: Alright. I'll leave you alone for a little longer. Come find me if you want juice. Geralt: Thank you, Renny.

Claude: Hey. Fae: Hi. Nader must be yours? Claude: That he is. He behaving himself? Fae: Nothing serious. He and my son Geralt were just risking injury for fun. Claude: Renny, is it? Fae: Oh, no. That's just what my son calls me. I'm Fae. Claude: Claude. [amused] How does he get Renny from Fae. Fae: Oh, well, Ren comes from parent, and then Renny is like Mommy. [embarrassed] Convoluted. Claude: [sincere] It's sweet. Fae: Thank you. I really appreciate how adventurous Nader is. Oftentimes Geralt will play alone, and I expected it to be worse after the move. Claude: Oh, when was that? Fae: A few weeks ago. Claude: That's recent. Fae: Mm. Are you local? Any tips for the neighborhood? Claude: Nader spends week days with his mother, but weekends are spent out here with me. He likes the natural history museum when we have time to go, besides the dinosaur bones, they have these wooden dinosaur structures out front for the kids to climb on. Fae: That sounds cool. Claude: It is. Closer than that there's [restaurant, elaboration]. And there's [ice cream parlor] on [street name], if you like gelato or soft serve. Fae: Gosh, I should write this down. [Claude, by force of habit, produces first a pen and then paper, while Fae was readying the notepad on their phone. He inquires about school board, explains that he gets two weekends and then two weeks (Mon-Fri) with Nader, because he didn’t want to just be a weekend dad, and this way each he and Ingrid get a whole seven days with their son sometimes. He doesn’t know why he’d be so forward about that with someone he just met. Something about the tone of the conversation has Claude suspecting Fae’s also parenting without a second pair of hands] Claude: Is it just the two of you, that moved out this way? Fae: Yeah… Yeah, it's— [weighing the insecurity of telling a man that there’s no one waiting for them at home] Yeah. It's always been just the two of us. Claude: [surprised] Oh. That must be hard. Fae: We manage. Claude: Do we want to leave meeting to chance? Might see us in the park again sometimes, or you could take my number? Fae: [skeptical] Can’t guarantee I’ll call. Claude: I’ll try not to take it personally.

[fae will actually lose claude’s number, or tuck it into a drawer to be rediscovered at a later time; if anything they’ll be getting closer to lorenz first. But when they actually seem to be getting close, fae will lean in for a kiss and lorenz will lean away out of fear and uncertainty (reminder he is a widower in this au), and fae will feel rejected, putting a temporary rift between them]

[soup-crime]

Hi. I'm Lenny. Oh, little buddy, did I scare ya? I'm sorry. Wake up. Wake up. Okay. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get you out in a jiffy. You just keep holding your breath, little wormy. Yo, Lenny! Uh... I'm coming, Frankie! Well, move it! Come on. Pop's waiting. Here we go. And... Gotcha! Okay, buddy. You're free. Now escape. Go. Just go. Cry freedom. Oh. You almost gave me a heart attack. Lenny, what are you doing? What? I... I was just, uh... Picking you flowers. Hey. Mom said it's not okay to hit. Mom's not here. Dah-dum, dah-dum Don't. Dah-nah dah-nah Dah-nah dah-nah Don't! Buh-nah-bun-nah That song gives me the creeps. What do you mean? It's our theme song. Are they gone? Are they gone? You sure? Good morning, Southside Reef. I'm Katie Current, keeping it current. We've just received official confirmation. The sharks are gone. I repeat, the sharks are gone. Don't worry About a thing 'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right Don't worry About a thing 'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right Mussel Crowe! Jessica Shrimpson! Cod Stewart! Up next, a mother of 800 tells us how she does it all. But first, over to Janice for the traffic report. Thanks, Katie. Slight congestion here on the Interreef 95. There's an overturned mackerel. Authorities are trying to calm him down. Get out those shell phones and call into the boss 'cause you'll be late. Don't you yell at me! My mother is your mother, okay? Yeah. It's fake. Fake? I worked eight years on that! Oh! According to the latest scallop poll, fear of sharks is at an all-time high. Join us tonight for an in-depth report. How long must this reef live under siege? Is there no hero among us? Who can stop this shark menace? Hi. I'm Oscar. You might think you know, but you have no idea. Welcome to my crib. The good life. The way the other half lives. Check it out. I got my 60-inch Hi-Def flat-screen TV with six-speaker Surround. CD, DVD, PlayStation hookup, and a 8-track player for those days when you're feeling just a little... ...old school. 'Cause even a superstar, Mack Daddy fish like me has to have the basic necessities. Yeah. Like money. Come on, shorties. Why y'all messing with my fantasy? 'Cause you so broke, your bologna has no first name. Oh, that's funny. That's very funny. Hey, Oscar! Oscar! Over here! I gotta talk to ya! I'll be right there. Hang on to these for me. Oscar, you da fish. Yo, dude. Yo, Crazy Joe. Now that you live in a great penthouse, can I be your financial adviser? That's a billboard, Crazy Joe. You live in a billboard? No. And they call me crazy. Hey, Oscar, look who came to visit. Gotcha! No. Don't do that. Shouldn't you kids be in school? Shouldn't you be at work? Ooh, right back at me, huh? Little smart mouth. I'm on my way. Y'all stay outta trouble. And clean that stuff up. See ya. See you, Oscar. Ooh! Yo, yo. What's up? Big O's in the house. Hi, Oscar. Hey! Hi, Oscar. What's up? Hey. Psych! Yo, Johnson, is it lunch yet? You just got here. That's the point. Hey, Headphone Guy. Yeah. Looking good, ladies. Hey, Oscar. Unh, unh, unh. Keep up the bad work. Huh? I'm already punched in? Angie. Good morning. Can I help you? One wash and lube, please. Hot wax? Please. Kelp scrape? We're having a special. What do you say? Why not? It's mating season. And I'm feeling lucky. Sykes Whale Wash. Whale of a wash, and the price... Oh, my gosh. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Oh. May I suggest a barnacle peel? Removes lines and salt damage. Good. Hey, Ang. Oh, my gosh! Hi, Oscar. Thanks for covering for me. Yo. I'm sorry. Angie needs to get her freak on. Would you hold for one moment, please? Thanks, dog. Oscar. Come on, Ang. Dance with me, Mama. Let me see it. Oh! Come on, Ang. Oscar. You're gonna get me fired. Please. You fired? Nah. That can't happen. 'Cause I would have absolutely no reason to come to work. Oh. You don't mean that. Of course I do. You're, like, my best friend. Oh, listen. Tell me what you think about this. This is, like, the best idea ever. All right? It's a sure thing, guaranteed cash extravaganza. Bottled water. Oh, no. All I

need is another advance on my paycheck from the boss, and I am outta this place. I'm, I'm... Oscar... Instead of getting in Mr. Sykes's face with another one of your get rich-quick schemes, go do something you're good at. What? Your job. Which, by some miracle, you still have. Oh. Almost forgot. I brought you some breakfast. You didn't. Mmm-hmm. Kelpy Kremes? Your favorite. Oh, by the way... You're still on hold. Oh, my gosh! Thank you for holding. Busy, busy, busy. Go! How can I help you? Mm-mm-mm-mm. No. I'm sorry. Mr. Sykes is at a meeting right now. Won't be back till later. How are my little babies this morning? You miss me? You doing good? Huh? Huh? You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world. You either take or you get taken. Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? That all? We done? You and me, we worked together a long, long, long time. Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been work. Let me finish. And you know... I love that about you... Let me finish! ...that I've lived my life for my sons, raising them and protecting them... You're the best! ...teaching them... Am I right or wrong? Sykes. It's all been to prepare... Right? To prepare them... Sorry. Yeah. It's all right. ...for the day they run the reef. Well, today is that day. Luca. I like big butts And I cannot lie... Hey, boss. Big butts. Oy vey! Long story short, from now on, yous work for Frankie and Lenny. Capisce? Lenny? Frankie, I understand, but Lenny? You can't be serious. I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things. Now Lenny, he's got the brains. That's something special. oh, yeah. He's special all right. What's that supposed to mean? Nothing. I'm just saying. Hey! I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what, and what? What? What, "What"? Nothing. You said, "What," first. I didn't say "What" first. I asked you, "What?" You said, "And then what?" and I said, "What?" I said, "What what?" Like what what? You said, "What" first. You're making fun of me? No. You misunderstood. Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident. He was born. You're a comic genius. Look, all I'm saying is, the kid ain't exactly no killer. My Lenny is a killer. You hear me? A cold-blooded killer. Look at him. Huh? That's it. That's it! You are out! What? What do you mean I'm out? You're fired! And on top of that, you're gonna have to start paying me! For what? So nothing happens to that little whale wash of yours. Welcome to Oscar's crib. Sixty-foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swim-in cavities, and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little... ...old school. Stop your moaning, Oscar. It could be a lot worse. Yeah, that's true. I could have this job, and look like you. Who's behind me? Whoever behind me, better give me some. Indigestion. She's gonna blow! Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there. I got you! Headphone Guy! Still think it could be worse? Yeah. I could look like you. Y'all funny. Well, see if you laugh at this! My eye! Soap in the eye! Soap in the eye! It's all right. I'm gonna get you some coupons. We gonna get you a free hot wax and all that. You like that? All right, go ahead, big baby. Thanks, Oscar. All right. Look who it is, Bernie. Just the fish we're looking for. Yeah. The boss be needing to see you right now. Right now. Ernie, Bernie, my jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka! Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all. Huh? What'd you say, Ang? Oh, okay. Fellas, I'm gonna go over there, but, uh... Don't worry About a thing 'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right That's not the way you sing that song, mon. Ah! Sykes! My brother from another mother! What the deezy, baby? Unh. Show me that. Unh. So, unh, what's going down? Hey, baby, this is all gravy today. Snap your fin. On the... Snap it! Oscar. Oscar! You're not snapping it. Don't sweat it. A lot of whitefish can't do it. Would you just sit down? Ooh. Thank you. Look, I've been going over my markers. You're in to me for five grand. Five G's, okay? Five G's? Man, you tripping! Five G's. See if this refreshes your memory. Wha... That's crazy. Look at

that! You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget. Wow. This is a perfect example of why you're in management and I'm not. You go, boy. I have to start paying Don Lino protection. Everything you owe me, you owe him. How you figure that? Simple. The food chain. You see, on top, there's Don Lino. Right. There's me, and there's regular fish. Mmm-hmm. Oh, that's me. No. There's plankton, there's single-cell amoebas. Then there's me. I'm getting there. There's coral. There's rocks, there's whale poo, and then there's you. That's messed up. So, if Don Lino's squeezing me, he's squeezing you! What? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Easy, boss. Find your happy place. Happy place. There is no happy place with him around. I'm serious! Okay! Okay! Please, just give me some time. That's all I'm asking. I'm begging you, Sykes. Please! Please! All right. 'Cause I like you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up. All of it? How am I supposed to do that? That's your problem. Bring my 5,000 clams to the racetrack tomorrow, or else. Or else what? The boys'll explain. Unpleasant. Five thousand clams? You borrowed 5,000 clams from Mr. Sykes? Oscar, why do you get yourself into these situations? I don't know, Ang. It's just hard. All right? Because, um... I'm a little fish in a big pond. A really big pond. The ocean. I'm a nobody. I want some of that. Mrs. Sanchez? What? Ew! No. That. The top of the reef. Where the somebodies live. I wanna be rich and famous like them, but... I'm stuck down here. Well... What's wrong with down here? I'll tell you what's wrong with down here. Remember my dad? He worked at the Wash his whole life. He was the number one tongue-scrubber. Every year for 25 years. To me, working at the wash was the coolestjob in the ocean. But then I learned something I will never forget. Oscar's dad's a tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber! My dad was the greatest. But nobody loves a nobody. I wanna be a somebody. Oscar, you don't have to live at the top of the reef to be a somebody. What's the difference? If I don't pay Mr. Sykes back by tomorrow, I'm dead anyways. Wait here. Wha... What's this? A pink pearl? Mmm-hmm. Where'd you get that? My grandmother gave it to me. She said it started from a tiny grain of sand. But then, after a while, it grew into something beautiful. Dreams can begin small, too. No. Uh-uh. No, I couldn't... Take it. It'll get you the money you need for Mr. Sykes. What do you mean, you don't understand? What's there to understand? We've been over this a thousand times. I don't want to say it again. You know, you're really giving me agita. I don't know how else to say this. You see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. Thanks. That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you? Your brother Frankie here, he's a killer. Thanks, Pop. He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. Wipe your face. But you... I'm hearing things. You... You gotta understand, when you look weak, it makes me look weak. I know. I... I can't have that. Pop, I'm sorry. Lenny, Lenny, look at me. Look at me. This handing over the business is for you. For both of yous. You're acting like you don't even want it. I need to know that you can handle that. All right, all right. Right here, in front of me now, eat this. Yeah. Oh, uh, gee. Thanks, Pop. Here's the thing. I'm on a diet. I read an article about shrimps. They're not good for you. You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps? A lot. It's true, it's true, and the other thing is, my sister had a baby, and I took it over because she passed away, and then her baby lost its legs and its arms, and now he's nothing but a stump, but I still take care of him with my wife, and it's growing, and it's... It's fairly happy, but it's difficult 'cause I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table, but all the love that I see in that little guy's face makes it worth it in the end. True story. I'm not asking you anymore. I'm telling ya. Eat it. No. Have

mercy. Pop, please. Eat. No eat! What... No! Son, eat the shrimp! Please! No! Please! Eat. Eat. Eat! No! Eat! Eat! Eat! No! Put the shrimp down! All right. Go now. No one's looking. Get outta here. You're free. Go on. Go! Thank you. You're a good person. Come on, fellas. Pop, Pop, I can handle the reef. It's not a problem. No. No. We're gonna do this as a family. Frankie, take Lenny out, show him the ropes. Oh, come on, Pop. Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark, whether you like it or not. That kid better show up, or he's dead meat. Just say the word, boss. Carrying a big old envelope full of money. Gonna give it to Mr. Sykes. Hurry up! This is our chance. You don't wanna miss it. Are you sure about this? A trainer friend tipped me off. The race is rigged. We can't lose. What's the horse's name? Lucky Day. The long shot, Lucky Day, at 200 to 1. We're gonna be rich. Rich! Ooh. Top of the reef, here I come! No! Wait. What am I doing? Remember what Angie said. Remember what Angie said. What did Angie say? Dreams can begin small. You just have to bet it all. Bet it all! And Lucky Day wins! Yeah It's Oscar Five thousand on Lucky Day to win! That's 200 to 1. That would pay a million clams! Well, I guess that makes me Oscar the Millionaire. The Millionaire. Lucky Day. Lucky Day. Lucky Day! She's dangerous, super-bad Better watch out She'll take your cash She's a gold digger She's a gold digger She's dangerous, super-bad Better watch out She'll take your cash She's a gold digger Nice bet. You got a name? You wanna tell me what it is? Well, mine's Lola. Come on, man. Get your game face on. So... Lola. My name's... Uh, my name is Oscar, sweetie. Mrs. Sanchez. That hippity-hop smooth talk don't work with me. Oh. My bad. Hey. So, uh... Oscar. I was starting to think you skipped out on me. Sykes! Hey! Oh, I see you, uh, are already on your way to the concession stand. What are you doing? Bring us some drinks. Why are you touching me? That would be great. Thanks. Oh, and, uh, bring back, uh, some little wiener thingies. You mean the one with the toothpicks? What are you doing? Don't listen to him. Lola, let me escort you to my box. Your box? His box? You can't afford the gum under the seats. Sykes. He just laid five grand on Lucky Day. I think he can afford anything he wants. Five grand? My five grand? Uh-uh. No. It was another five grand. You had the money to pay me, and you bet it? Hold up. Sykes! Give me that! Clearly, I've made a mistake. No. No. Wait. Lola! Look. Deep down, I'm really superficial. And don't get me wrong, you're cute, but you're a nobody. Oscar, you cute, but you're a nobody. Wait! Lola! Come back! I'm not a nobody. I'm a wiener! You are unbelievable. You're in trouble up to your gills, and still you're asking for more? Huh? Go on. Get in here. Oscar, you better pray that this horse of yours comes through. Betting my 5,000. Hey! Hey! Outta my seat. You, outta my seat. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Sit tight and watch the race. With your good eye. Good eye. The horses are at the post. And they're off! It's Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit and Salmonella. The long shot, Lucky Day, is having trouble getting out of the gate. What? - Only a sucker could've bet on that horse. Don't sweat it, man. He does this all the time. What's this? Lucky Day's crashing his way through, and he's off and running. Down the straightaway, it's Sea Biscuit, Fish Fingers and Lucky Day. Please, Lucky Day, go fast. Coming round the far turn, it's Sea Biscuit by a length, and Lucky Day well behind the pack. And here comes Lucky Day coming up from behind! He's passing Yellowtail, Salmonella, - coming up on Fish Fingers! Who's your fish? Around the final turn, here comes Lucky Day. Lucky Day's caught up to Fish Fingers! They're head-to-head. - Lucky Day's pulling ahead! Come on through for me, baby! I'm getting tired just thinking about counting all this money. Look at Lucky Day go! We're moving on up To the east side Absolutely amazing! This looks to be Lucky Day's big day. It's Lucky Day! Oh! What happened? Lucky Day is down. We're

moving on up To the east side No! And here comes Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit, Yellowtail and Fish Fingers wins. What happened? Let me see. Wait! I just wanna hold you. Oscar, get outta my way. - What a sad day for Lucky Day. Remember your happy place. And that's why they call him the long shot. Yo, that was crazy! Right? Who knew? Everything's set, it's a lock, we good to go, we in the money, and he trips underwater. Who in the halibut trips under water? And by the way, on what? That's it! That's it! I've had it. Ernie, Bernie, I want you to find the deepest, darkest hole in the ocean and when you do, dig deeper and put him in it! Sorry, kid. It's nothing personal. It's just business. Don't worry About a thing 'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right This is how you sing it, Oscar. Yeah. Sykes, he like ya, mon. Him say take it easy on you. Ooh! But Sykes is not here. True. Ernie, let me ask you a question. Yeah, mon. Go on. Why is it that me locks can sting other people, but they have no effect on me or you? Ernie! I didn't mean it, Ernie. I didn't mean it, man. Ernie! Oh, Ernie! Ernie! You made a joke! Good one, mon. Respect. Respect. Bloodfire. Frankie, you know I can't do this. Lenny, if you wanna make Pop happy, you gotta kill something. Or I could find a very old sick fish and just wait. Ugh. It's getting around, your thing at the restaurant. You know how fish talk. Bit-a-bit, bit-a-bop. This, that, the other. Then how ya doing, boom! Forget about it. You're dead. Okay. Seriously, I can't understand wiseguy, so you'll have to be more specific. Oh, specific. You want specific. Be a shark for once in your life! What am I gonna do? Aw. Lenny, forget about it. Okay? We do couple of practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on. Capisce? Okay. Okay. Capisce. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Bingo. Right there. Dead ahead. You see it? TV dinner. Don't get no easier than this. All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this! What if I can't do this? Then don't bother coming home. Good point! All right. Hit him in the tail again. I like the funny face he make. Funny face. Ernie! Blow out! Ah! Uh, guys? Guys, don't leave me alone. There could be sharks out here. Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no. I'm not... Lenny. What? Like this. Oh, no. Ah. Aah. Oh, just get it over with! Wait a minute. Do me a favor. Don't chew me. I'm not for that. I'm not gonna eat ya. Don't do the whole head-trip thing with me. Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. Back up! That's it, Len. There you go, buddy. Wave those fins, baby. Dig in. I'm just pretending so you can get away. Huh? When I turn around, you take off! Tastes just like chicken. Mm. Mmm! Oh, no. Oh! What did I tell you? Oh! I'm sorry. You want me to go now? Just go! That's it. I've had it up to here. Ooh! Oh, no! Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie. Wait! Oh! Get your boy! Get your boy! Frankie! Lenny... Lenny, is that you? I'm here, Frankie. Come closer. Yes? What is it? I'm so cold. That's just because we're cold-blooded. Ow! Moron. Frankie, no. No! This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, Frankie. How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop? Oh, no! Watch it! Back up! I'm crazy! I be tripping! Whoa. Oh. Ow! What the... Don't hurt us. We're sorry. It was all Ernie's idea. Oscar... Did you kill that shark? Uh... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exac... Exactly how it look, that's how it is. What happened? Oh, you... You wanna know what happened? Yeah. You're standing on top of a shark. Yeah. Go on, mon. I'll tell you what happened! Big ol' shark, about 75, 100 feet long. He's swimming at me. Right? With teeth like razors! Ooh! Razors! Ha! And I was all like, "You gonna come at me like that?" You're gonna come at the "O" like that? Uh-uh. Hey! Do the muscle thing. The muscle thing. Oh. Right, right. I told that dude, "You see this guy?" And I pointed like this. "Well, he's got a brother, and he lives right over here, "and I think it's time for a little... "family reunion!" Family reunion! See, man? I told you. Excuse me. We were right there! Pardon me.

Move it! Whoa. Sorry. Sorry. She seems so nice on TV. Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me, does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town, the big kahuna? Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie? Of course. Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is going down! Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic! Oscar. Mmm. Oscar. Okay. Get outta here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me. And you are? His manager. Uh... Sykes, with a "Y." And I'm his financial adviser! You wanna see my puppets? Hello! Could you excuse us for a moment, please? My manager? You're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune. Let me handle it. What about the five G's? Forget the five G's. From now on, we're partners. What exactly are we talking about? I'm thinking 90-10 split. That's pretty generous. You're the 10. I take my 90 off the top. I don't think so. Talk to me. You get 15. 70. 20. 75. Dude! You're going the wrong way. 50-50. You happy? No. You happy? No! Deal! Uh, my manager and I are now prepared to take your questions. Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the wash? Please. I barely work here now. Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em. No! He's slaying sharks! Hey. Hey, that's good. That's good. I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer. All right. Whoa! A sharkslayer! You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral. I could fly higher Than an eagle If you are the wind Beneath my wings Frankie, we'll miss you. To Frankie. It's a terrible thing, Don Lino. Everybody loved Frankie. May whoever did this die a thousand deaths. May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of hell. Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe. Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound, too. Hope he's okay. Oh, Lenny. Don't worry, boss. I said some things to him. We gotta find him. We're searching everywhere. Forget about it. He'll turn up. What's wrong with that kid? Why's he gotta be so different? Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect. Perfect! Oh, Luca. Who could've done this? Don Lino, at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences. Thank you, Don Feinberg, for honoring my son with your song. I got some news, about the guy who took out Frankie. Let's, uh... Yeah, let's talk over here. He come out of nowhere, this guy. Calls himself, "The Sharkslayer." Ira, over here. Sorry. The Sharkslayer! Where do I find him? He's from the Southside Reef. That's all we could dig up. Thank you. Thank you. Any requests? Luca. How about that Titanic song? Oh, no! Not again! Get Sykes. He knows that reef better than anybody. I wanna find this guy. I wanna know everything about him. I wanna know where he lives, where he sleeps. He pops a gill, I wanna know about it. Who is this Sharkslayer? Here he is, the Sharkslayer! I think I love you, baby What you feel now I think need you, baby What you know now Uh-uh, uh-huh To be real Uh-huh, mmm-hmm, whoo Your love's for real now You know that your love And my love My love is here to stay Let's get this party started right! What you find now What you feel now Here he is, the Big O! Psych! Pound that, dog! Pound it! Oscar, raise the reef! Raise the reef, buddy! Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Huh? Hot! Yeah, that's pretty... That's pretty... Come on, cabbage patch! Cabbage patch. Angie, you made it! Wait, wait! You're gonna break my gift! Oh, come on. You didn't have to get me anything. What'd you get me? Well, what does every bachelor pad need, huh? A lava lamp! How did you know I love lava lamps? I'm gonna put it right here next to my other one. Hey, come on, Ang! I wanna show you the best thing about this place. Wow! How great is this view? Top of the reef. It's... It's amazing. I know. It's beautiful, right? Like you. Like your new apartment. It's... Wow! Awesome! What I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you, Oscar. Yeah. It was... It was nothing, really. You know? Hey! Oh! You know what? Wait right here. Don't move. I'll be right back. Girl,

you are gonna flip! Boop! I'm back. Oh, you're back! You know what, Ang? Where I am right now, this whole new life I've got and all my dreams coming true, in a weird kinda way, well, I never could've done it without you. Oh, sure, you could. Well, probably not. Ang. Here. Oh, Oscar! I know, I know. I'm just sorry that it took so long. Oh, that's okay. Bam! Huh? My grandmother's pearl. With interest! Now, I don't forget anything, and I never forget who my friends are. Oh. Ang, uh... Oh, hi. I'm not interrupting something, am I? Yes, we're talking. No! Uh-uh. Hey, Lola. Wow! You're here! Oh! Uh, hey, you... You gotta come best my meet friend, Angie. Eat my best men, Wangie. Best friend? Oh, that's sweet. So you won't mind if I steal him for a while then, will you? So, look who's a somebody after all. Well, you know, uh... Sharks! On the... On the edge of the reef! They're... They're Great Whites! Sharks! Okay, everybody, go home to your loved ones! Spend the last few hours that you have with each other. Oh! I mean... That's the way it used to be around here. We'd have been all scrambling for cover and stuff, but not since Oscar came to town! So, Lola, uh, baby, just wait here. I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna go ahead, take care of these sharks. Go get 'em, tiger! Whoo! Biceps, triceps! Grr! All right, Oscar! You're the best! Go get 'em, Oscar! Grr! Lenny! Where the heck is he? Lenny! Hey, what are you doing? There's a sharkslayer out here. You wanna be next? Oh, yeah. Lenny! Lenny! Ooh. That was close. Super close. Don't panic. Quiet! We're safe. Oh, no, not you again! Yeah. What was that? Yo! What is with you, man? Shh! He could be anywhere. Who? Shh! The Sharkslayer. There's no sharkslayer out here. Yes, there is! No, there is not. Trust me on this one. Get a hold of yourself, man! This is no time to act crazy! You the one acting crazy, crazy! You're right, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself since the, uh... The, uh... Don't cry. Oh, no! No, no. It's not all that. Just relax. It's my fault, kinda. Not really, but still... Hey, um... My brother. You just need a little time, man. Things will work out. You think? Yeah! So, look, um... I'm gonna take off, and you should just go home, okay? Okay. All right. Hey, good luck, dog. Wait! Uh... What, man? I didn't catch your name. Oscar. I'm Lenny. Hi. Hi. Where... Where... Where do you live? Lenny, where I come from, fish don't like to get grabbed by sharks, okay? Sorry. Now, go home! There is no home for me anymore. Don't you understand that? You're too big to be grabbing on me. Take me home with you. Shh! You won't notice I'm there. I'm like the invisible shark. Are you crazy? Please! I'm begging you! Don't leave me alone! Shh! Yo! Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em! Shh! Gotcha! Hey! Yo, the shorties! Oscar! What y'all doing here? Check out my mad burner. Check it out. Whoomp, there it is How ya like that? Y'all kids got some skills. It's wild style, dude. Mmm-hmm. What did I tell you? You kids shouldn't even be doing this. And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night. It is now, bro-bro! You the Sharkslayer! Yeah, bro. Yeah. Sharkslayer? What was that? Sometimes I'll be coughing for nothing. Look, I just need you off of these streets. Oh, come on, Oscar. Get your butts home. I know your moms. I'm gonna tell 'em y'all doing bad stuff. Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up. Yeah! Bye, Oscar! See ya later, dude! Lenny! Did you see what just happened there? I know. They think you're the Sharkslayer. As if! I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually. No, wait up! Hey! I'm sorry. Seriously. I don't want you mad at me, and I certainly don't want you to slay me. You having a good time, huh? You're enjoying yourself? Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer! Oscar the Sharkslayer. That's what people be saying. Wait. You mean you... Yeah. When the anchor... Oh, you're a liar. Hey, I didn't lie, all right? All right, I lied. But it was a little lie! Come on! Who's it gonna hurt anyway? Go ahead. I'm not explaining myself to you. You

know what? You're on your own! No problem. And if, God forbid, someone should, oh, I don't know, find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back... You wouldn't. I would. Uh... Come here! Of course you can come with me. But, you know, I mean, you're a shark, and I'm a sharkslayer. So we can't be seen together. You dig, dog? Dig! Dug. Dug dig. Dig dog. Yeah. Yo, diggy dog! Just... Come on! Okay, Lenny. Follow my every move, and don't make a sound. You got it. Ooh, an echo. Echo. Now, batting for the Southside Sharks, number 15... Ow! It's not okay to hit! Ain't nothing to it If you wanna get down We can do it, do it Ain't nothing to it Keep stepping With your new suede shoes on Boys and girls Let's all sing along Everybody just get On a good foot Oh, Lord - Ooh ooh Get on a good foot Oh, Lord Ooh-whee. Shh! Get on a good foot Ow! Aah! Ow! Get your tail in there! Think anybody heard that? Ooh! Ow! Who was that? Huh? Who? Who's out there? Yo, Crazy Joe! I thought I heard something. Did you get that shark? You have no idea, Joe. That's great! Well, gotta go. My show's on. All right, we're safe. For now. Ah. Hey, a bed! Huh? Oh! Oh, yeah. That's good. Oh, that's heaven. Yeah. Oh, snuggly, buggly, wuggly. I love you, man. Whoa! Hold up! You're my new best friend. Stop it. Okay, you wanna be friends? Fine. But we gotta lay down some rules. Rule number one, no "snuggly, buggly," whatever that just was. You got it. Anything else? Rule number two, and this is the most important rule. In the event that possibly you get hungry... Don't worry. I'm not gonna eat anyone. In case you haven't noticed, I'm different from the other sharks. Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night. Define "different." You'll laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. That's what you say, and then what happens later? You laugh. Lenny, I give you my word. Okay. I will tell you. I'm... I'm a vegetarian. Hold up. So, that's it? What do you mean, "That's it?" You're the first fish I ever told. I'm so tired of keeping it all a secret. And my dad... Whoa! Hey! He'll never accept me. What's wrong with me? Nothing is wrong with you, man. I think all sharks should be like you. That's sweet of you to say. And stop blaming yourself for what happened. Really? If you wanna blame anybody, blame me. If I hadn't been out there in the first place, none of this would have happened. Yeah. Gee, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure. "Ice"? What is he, the Godfather or something? Yeah. What you mean, "Yeah"? Yeah, he is. Hey, are you all right? I told ya! I'm doing it! X, circle, X, X, double left, square, right trigger, down, square, square. Oh! Double square. Respect. Respect. Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for you. The Sharkslayer made me his manager, so I'm now what I like to call "untouchable." You hear me? Sykes. Hey, Oscar. Ow! Hey! Sykes. There he is, my brother, my player, the Sharkslayer. Sykes, listen... And another thing, from now on, you're gonna have to start paying me protection. The deal is off. That shark I killed was Don Lino's son. I know. Ain't it great? Not if he finds out. What do you mean, "Find out"? I've got him on phone right now. That's right, Lino, I got the Sharkslayer right here in front of me. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. And he's gonna slay you and all your sharks. Sykes, shut up! Shut up! Hey, that's good. I like that. Shut up, Lino. Ha! Shut up! What? Oh. Kid, he wants to talk to you. I'm not here. He's right here. Hello! "Shut up"? "Shut up"? You don't tell me, "shut up." I tell you, "shut up." Hello? How you doing? Let me have a pie with everything on it. Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms. Luca. Oh. Hi, Boss, what are you doing working in a pizza joint? Get off the phone! But I'm hungry. My guys are coming for you, Sharkslayer. They're gonna tear you fin from fin. Now who's your puff daddy? Huh? Who takes care of you? Huh? Huh? Come on, you two, we got work to do. I was winning. Sykes, you got it all wrong. They're gonna write songs about you, kid. Oh, the shark bites With his teeth, dear Sing it, mon. And then Oscar Kicked his butt Sykes! Sykes, man!

Come on! Maybe I can help. Ooh! Hey, Lola! What are you doing here? You just be popping up sometimes, places. Well, you said to wait, so... I've been waiting. Uh... Look, uh, I don't have a lot of time for the whole hand-clappy, making-the-lights-go-off, music-playing-in-the-dark thing, you know? What are you afraid of? Afraid? Yeah, that's funny. I ain't afraid of nothing. It's just... Ooh! Oh, baby, you are so tense. Yeah, I've been stressed lately. You know, protecting the reef. I do that by myself, you know. It's just... Just crazy. It's just too much. It's piling up. Yeah. Just one thing on top of the other. Actually, I was thinking about retiring. You don't wanna do that. I don't? You have worked your way to the top. You don't wanna go back to the bottom, do you? No. No. No way. You just show 'em who's boss, and those sharks will leave you alone. Yeah. You're right. Lenny. Psst. Lenny, where are you? Hello, Oscar. Angie! Hey. What are you doing here? What, Oscar, did you forget something? Um... Uh... You know... Oh, maybe you forgot your shark! Hi. Uh... Shark! Swim, Angie. I'll cover you. Quick, before it's too late. Go on without me. Oh, stop it. Your pet shark told me everything. Dang, Lenny. Why would you do that? I don't know. I like her. Thank you. I like you, too. What were you thinking bringing him in here? I'm still working out the kinks. "Kinks?" You lied. Everybody thinks you "slayed" the shark. Who am I to tell them that they're wrong? How could you lie to me, Oscar? Me! Don't take it personally. I lied to everybody. All right, I'm sorry. I totally betrayed you. I got just one little problem I got to take care of. Oh, what's that? Sharks are coming to get me! And they should! What did you expect? You take credit for killing a shark, and then everything will be fine and dandy for the rest of your life? Uh... Yeah. But don't you worry. Me and Lenny got it. We gonna fix it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the "We?" I don't want any part of this. Too late now, veggie boy. They'll be looking for you, too. Point taken. What's the plan? This is what we do. Oscar, here's the plan. You tell the truth, and you go home. This is what we gonna do, right? We gonna paint you up all bloody. A mess, right? Then you'll swim out and meet the sharks before they get here. Then you gonna say, "Stop! Don't go no farther. "That Sharkslayer's crazy, man. "He beat me senseless. "He's a stone-cold killer, man." You could tell 'em I'm huge. Tell them I'm handsome. You could throw that in. You're going way too far. Actually, he hasn't gone far enough. Exactly. What? You need to slay a shark, and I need to disappear. Here's what we're gonna do. This is Katie Current reporting live. We've had unconfirmed reports of... Da-da-da! Look! It's the Sharkslayer! Da-da-da-da Holy mackerel! Did we get that? Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV. Show me that. Go ahead with your bad self. Ugh. Do you hear them, Lenny? They are going crazy. They love us. They love you. They hate me. What? Can we switch sides? Maybe I can be the Fishslayer. They'll never see it coming. Come on. You sell this, you'll never have to go home again. You can start a new life. Give me a growl. Okay. Like that? That was... pretty good. Let's go. Is that all you're offering? Do you understand how huge my client is? Turn on your TV right now. Wait, Lenny. Hold up. Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! Turn off your TV! Turn off your TV! Don't swallow. Oscar? No. It's Pinocchio. Of course it's me. Why did you do that? I'm sorry. No, no. Sorry is when you step on somebody's fin at the movie theater. Sorry is when you say, "When is the baby due?" and the person is just fat. This is as far away from sorry as you could possibly get. But, Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke. No, no, no. No, no, no. Lenny, just open up nice and easy. Are you not entertained? Go, Oscar, man! You can't handle the truth! Go get 'em, Oscar! You had me at hello! Turn your TV back on. What are you doing turning your TV off? Turn it on! Yippee-ki-yay! Go, Oscar! Whoo-hoo! This reef is huge. How we supposed to find the

Sharkslayer? This is it, Lenny. Big finish. Just like we practiced. The flying fish. The flying fish? A little help here, buddy boy. Sorry. Thank you. Whoa. Curse you, Sharkslayer! Yeah. And you tell Don Lame-O that I don't never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never wanna see another shark on this reef again. Ever! Oh! Remember this name, Oscar the Sharkslayer! Aha! You see? You see? Huh? Oscar, bumaye! Oscar, bumaye! Oscar, bumaye! Oscar, bumaye! Ah! Oh, look at Oscar. Oscar, bumaye! Oscar, bumaye! Whoo! Hey, Lo... Seems the Sharkslayer not only conquered a few sharks today, but maybe a few hearts. Has the reef's most eligible bachelor been snapped up? I'm Katie Current, here live watching the Sharkslayer making out. Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue one? Thank you. Hey! Who stepped in the room? Ho, ho, ho, yeah! Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby. Unh. Give me some fin. High fin. Low fin. Yo, did you see me? I was like... Ha-ha! I was great! When you punched me, and the crowd was, "Ahh!" They ate it up. Angie, you ain't know I had it in me, did you? It was like an Oscar-splosion. How good was I? You was the bomb. Thank you. Thank you. And hey, hey, hey. Casanova. I saw your big finish on the news. Nice smooch, lover boy. Ixnay on the iskay, man. That's private. It's private. Private? The entire reef saw you do it. Hey, whoa, somebody's in a bad mood. Ang, let me see the smile. Show me the smile, baby. Knock it off. Uh... What has gotten into you? Me? Oh, I swear, sometimes I wanna take your big dumb dummy head and just... Ang, what is the problem? There's no problem. I don't have any problem. Miss Perfect is the one with the problem. Um, hey, you guys. What do you got against Lola? Not my lips, that's for sure. Ooh. What's going on? Uh, I'm gonna stay out of this one. Why would you even care about Lola? I don't. You don't? No. "No," what? I don't know. Guys, you wanna... No! No! Just tell me, Oscar, 'cause I'm curious. Why do you think she's interested, huh? Do you think for one minute that she would even be with you if you weren't the rich and famous Sharkslayer? Please don't fight. Are you that blind? At least she treats me like I'm somebody. Would she love you if you were nobody? Nobody loved me when I was nobody! I did! Before the money...And before the fame. Before the lie. To me, you were a somebody, Oscar. Now you're nothing but a fake. A sham. A con. You're a joke. Here I come. Ta-da! Sebastian The whale-washing dolphin Angie... No. Forget it. Just go, 'cause I'm tired of hearing how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough. Including me. Angie. Oh, honey, I'm... I'm sorry. Go... Go back and do it again. Hey, come on. It'll be okay. One shot to your heart Without breaking your skin No one has the power To hurt you like your kin Kept it inside Didn't tell no one else... You can't handle the truth! You've got shark breath! And now you only have Yourself to blame If you continue To live this way Get it together You wanna heal your body Get it together You have to heal your heart... What you kids doing? How many times I have to tell you? It's past your bedtime. Go on. Go on. Hey, what are you kids up to? That looks pretty good. You guys should do this for a living. Ooh You can fly, fly, fly, fly You can live or you can die You know that life Is a choice you make You can give or you can take You can fly, fly, fly, fly You can fly, fly, fly, fly It slays hemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks. Oh. Hey, Oscar. Preparation O. Angie was right. I am a joke. Hey, Sharkslayer. Why are you out here? All your friends are inside. Not all my friends. You mean that little bottom-feeder from the Whale Wash? Forget about her. She's a nobody. No. I'm the nobody. Oh, let me guess. She told you that she loves you. Is that it? It's not like you feel the same way about her. I don't think this is gonna work out. Wait. Are you dumping me? Let me explain something to you. We're gonna party like it's your birthday Ha! Young love. Ooh Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you I can't help myself I love you and nobody else...

Hey, Oscar! I can't talk. I got to find Angie. I need to tell her I love her. You come and you go Way to go, Oscar! Irie. Whale Wash... Gimme the phone. Where you get a whale of a wash. Gimme back the phone. And the price is... Very, very low, considering how good the wash is. Good one, Ernie. How many times do I have to tell you? It's "gosh." "You get a whale of a wash and the price, oh, my gosh." Me get it, mon. Whale Wash. Rhymes with "gosh." Give me that. Get out of here. Go be useless someplace else. Sykes, where's Angie? You tell me. Whale Wash. You get a whale of a wash... Oh. Huh. It's for you. Huh? Hello. - Is this the Sharkslayer? Yeah. Who's this? It's Luca, the octo... I mean, forget about it. Now you follow these instructions to the letter like, okay? File cabinet, top drawer. There's a package. Get it. That's right, tough guy. We got your girl. There's going to be a sit-down in one hour. Who is it? Shh! Be there, if you don't wanna see her sleeping with the fishes. The dead ones. Now, nod your head if you understand. Now, tell me if you nodded your head. I nodded. They got Angie, and they want a sit-down. I never meant for anybody to get hurt, especially not Angie. This is all my fault. Classic move. I've seen it a thousand times. They take the thing you love the most, and then they use it against you. We got to go to that sit-down and save her. Whoa, whoa. I wanna save Angie, too, but I can't waltz in there and say, "Hi, Pop. I'm a dolphin." Lenny? "And the Sharkslayer's a fake." Fake? We're gonna need a better plan. This is a joke, right? This is a joke. Because I told Lino... Shut up, Lino! Shut up! Tell me you didn't make it all up. Tell me that's not Lenny. Tell me you're a real sharkslayer, please. I'm sorry, Sykes. I'm not. But the sharks don't know that. Stop screwing around. This will never work. We're dead. We're dead. Shh. Thank you, Sykes. Thank you. And my man Sykes has just begged me not to murderlize all y'all up in here. Now, I might listen to him, but then again, I might not. And that depends on the individual behavior of all the individuals in here, individually. Ain't that right? Look. He's got dolphin muscle. My Uncle Vito got whacked by one of those. Which one of you sardines called this meeting? That would be me. So, this is the Sharkslayer. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I feel like we're practically family. You know that? Funny, ain't it? I brought my kids into the world full of love and care, and you took 'em out. You know who I am? Do you know who I am? I'm the Don, the boss of the great white sharks. Boss, I saved you a seat. I've been running this reef since before you was born.If you thought a guy like me can't get to a guy like you...Guess what?You thought wrong. Man, you the one who's wrong. I barely know that girl. What's your name, miss? Oh, yeah? Well, I say he's bluffing. Marone, if I wasn't married. How ya doing, pretty lady? Ugh. Lola. We meet again. You know, Sharkslayer, there's only one thing I like better than money, revenge. Oh, I'm in love. Your shark slaying days are over, and there ain't nothing you can do about it. Huh? What's so funny? Ow! You got nothing. Nothing! Sebastian, take her out. Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da Can't touch this Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da Can't touch this Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh Stop! Oscar time! Okay, new rules. Nobody, I repeat, nobody makes a move without my okay. I am the Panama Canal, baby. From now on, everything... ...flows through me. Huh? What'd he do? I can't see it. You don't lose a tooth. You don't grow one back without my okay. Okay? Okay? Okay. If you sneeze, you don't wipe that boogie without my okay. Okay? Okay. All right. And you don't say "okay" without my okay. Okay? Uh-oh. Okay. Thank you all for coming. Good meeting. We got to go. Oh, and one more thing. What is with all y'all living in the Love Boat? Oscar. Y'all supposed to be the Mob. Get yourselves a real hideout. Oscar. And take a good look, Lino. It's over. You're old school. Oscar! What? Oh! The horror! The horror! Um, excuse me. Ang, are you

okay? No, I am not okay. He ate me! I couldn't take it. The taste was killing me. Lenny? Is that you? You're alive? Oh. I thought I lost you. What are you wearing? Huh? What is that? Whoa! Ho-ho ho! Hey, Boss, it's Lenny. He was wearing a disguise so we wouldn't recognize him. But now he's not wearing a disguise, so we do recognize him. Hi, Pop. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea how this looks? This is the best sit-down I've ever been to. What are you doing with this guy? He took out your flesh and blood, Frankie. But, Pop, just listen... But nothing. You never take sides against the family. Ever! Hey, Don, Lino, sir. It's not his fault. This is between you and me. What did I ever do to you? You took Frankie away, and you turned Lenny into a dolphin! I'm gonna get you. Oscar, look out! Oscar, swim for your life! You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer. Well, well, well. Look who's stuck in the porthole. Huh? You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends. Try it again. Whale Wash, you get a whale of a wash and the price... Oh, my gosh! All right! You got it right. You got it right. Move! Everybody, out of the way! Blow out! Come on, Lino. It's time to clean up your act. Pop, leave him alone! All right, Lino, game's over. Ah! Ooh! Lenny? What are you doing in there? Sorry. Where's Lino? He's right behind me, isn't he? You're mine now. Whoa! Let's finish this, Sharkslayer. Oh, we're about to. Thank you for coming to Whale Wash. Okay, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble, today. Ooh. Angie... The Sharkslayer has done it again. This time luring two sharks into his deathtrap of hygiene. Oscar, you're the somebody everybody wants to be. Angie! The top of the food chain. Tell our cameras how it feels to be you. Oscar, get me out here. Quick. I need to get a head start so I can get as far away as possible. Look what you did to him. It's all a big misunderstanding. Sharkslayer, over here. If you'd just... Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer! Stop! I am not a real sharkslayer! I lied. What? And I'm not a real financial adviser. Okay. It was an anchor that killed Frankie. I didn't have anything to do with it, and neither did Lenny. If that was true, why did you run away? Because you always wanted me to be like Frankie. I'll never be the shark you want me to be. What is your problem? So your son likes kelp. So his best friend's a fish. So he likes to dress like a dolphin. So what? Everybody loves him just the way he is. Why can't you? Don't make the same mistake that I did. I didn't know what I had until I lost it. Will you get me out of this? So I can hug my kid and tell him I'm sorry. Pop. Come here, you. I love you, son, no matter what you eat or how you dress. Oscar? Angie? Ah, Angie. I wish I knew now what I knew then. I mean, I wish you knew what I knew... Uh, I mean, before this. You're blowing it, man! Mind your business. It's emotional and it's pressure. What I'm saying, I just... I didn't need the top of the reef. Everything I wanted was right there in front of me the whole time. Well, what about being a somebody? I'm nobody without you. You're not helping. Oh, come here, you big dumb dummy-head. I never told you two this, but you're the best henchmen a guy ever had. Come on. Group hug. Ow! Hey! Sorry, mon. Sorry. Come, Sykes, try again, mon. Go for it. Oh, forget it. The moment's gone. So, uh, Lino... Uh, Don... We cool, right? Like, the reef is safe. You know, walk the streets without... Aah! You know. Yeah. We're cool. Oscar, excuse me. Oscar. You've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve. Tell me, what's next for you? Come on. Everyone's waiting, Mr. Manager. Just got to put the finishing touch on my new desk. Love you, Pop. Yo, dog! Sykes! All right, partner, let's see what you can do. Sykes and Oscar's Whale Wash is now open for business! Yo, E, B, let's get this party bump-bump-bumping! Yo, yo! It's E and B on the wheels of steel! Yo, Christina, Missy, how about we have a little Oscar-licious

fun? Y'all small tuna fish I'm one big catch You might not ever get rich Warm it up. I be warming it up. Let me tell you, it's better Than digging a ditch There ain't no telling Who you might meet A movie star Or maybe a common thief Working at the car wash Okay, Jimbo, let it go! At the car wash, yeah Yeah At the car wash Sing it with me Hey, Angie. Sorry Pop and I are late, but we brought some new customers. Hey, how you doing? Wow! Okay, guys, come on in! This ain't no place to be If you plan on being a star Let me tell ya It's always cool And the boss don't mind Sometimes if you're acting Like a fool Working at the car wash No. Snap it. You're not snapping it. I'm snapping it. I'm snapping it. It's okay. A lot of Great Whites can't do it, yo. Yo? Yo, what's up? What's up with what? Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo. You say "yo" one more time, and I'm gonna yo you. I'm sorry. Okay, dude, I pimped your hide. All right Check me out. Hey, you think this is funny? What am I, a clown to you? Get your car wash today Give it up right away Car wash Keep up with me. Don't let me lose ya. You know I'll lose ya. In your face. Shark's lair Bow down, playa What you got? You don't want none of this! Break it down, fellas! Nine to five, I gotta keep That fat stack coming Work and work You got served! Working at the car wash Yeah At the car wash, yeah Come on, work, baby Work it, say now At the car wash Hey At the car wash, yeah Come on, work, baby Work it, say now At the car wash Ohh Working at the car wash, yeah So come on, come on Come on, come on, come on Now, keep it coming So, you may not Ever get rich, but I This is a Shark Tale exclusive. Hey Hey, get your car wash today Hey Get your car wash today Phenomenal hit Hello? Hello! Oscar? Listen, baby, I know I was a bad girl, but come on. You'd have to be crazy not to take me back. Did someone say "crazy"? Taxi! Hey, taxi! Hello! Hey, you gonna eat the rest of your popcorn? Too much butter! Hey! A nacho! You're not even halfway done yet. What? You see this guy? He hardly worked on the movie at all! Always on the phone, yakking, yakking, yakking. Hah! Man, have you guys seen what's playing next door? Hoo-hoo! Stinky! What you doing? Go on! Get out of here! Go home! It's past your bedtime!

nother pic of my little cheeto puff

[wiseheartedloki]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[paradoxseer]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[stucklikeme]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[cutiemarkofcain]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[seserakh]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[vapingonland]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

[tabarithiana]

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes

Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""

Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”

Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”

Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."

Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."

Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""

Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."

Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."

Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."