#why can't i just will my brain to be normal and do something so that i can be something other than what i am now

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

I hope you’re happy.

I can’t stop thinking about sorcerer Stan and I absolutely don’t have time to write the aus I’m thinking of.

Because I’m just imagining if he clicked and didn’t have support.

Princess Stan au- he clicks before the whole dragon thing, maybe when Rico traps him in the chest, and Ford heads down south to investigate reports about some evil spirit in the shape of a man wantonly destroying everything

Normal au- he clicks sometime during his drive up to Gravity Falls and is just so out of it when he gets there. Probably breaks the portal without thinking of it while Ford is right there

I have essays to write! You stole all my brain space!

I'm very happy >:)

If Stan clicked with no support, he'd be casting for as long as he had that battery (if on a path of whatever he clicked with). Once it goes out, or he loses it, then the magic exhaustion's gonna hit bad :) Especially if hes not close to the wellspring to help him recharge faster and more naturally. At this point in the story the only reason they gave the battery back is because Stan was so magically depleted they needed the extra jump, and then he's limited to bed time use just because they need to exhast him so he'll actually sleep. Relying on it long term is not good for anyone.

Ford hears about some spook down south and jumps at the chance to investigate a magical anomaly of this caliber. It could be a wraith, or a ghoul, or some other creature thats' been mistaken for something spectral. So they get to the last place it's been sighted, look for clues and find!

Nothing. There's no evidence of some monster of magical creature. Just human tracks, around inhuman feats of destruction. There's no explanation Ford can find, and none of the bait he's using works. Gets so frustrated until he spills all his findings to fiddleford, who squints and just goes 'sounds like a sorcerer with a bad click.'

Ford discovering the first Sorcerer in generations, hearing all these rumors and Fiddleford telling him 'sounds like a sorcerer' would be so exciting for him. A sorcerer! Who needs help (judging by all the stories and what Fiddlefords told him about how they work)! Ford's going to swoop in and help this poor individual out before they get hunted down and killed for all the destruction they're being compelled to do.

Then he finds them, and its Stan. Stan, who has no idea whats happening to him, no idea why or how he's bending reality to his will, only that he needs to keep breaking things. He's tired and sick and confused and really, does Ford need that metal guy? Or fingers? Or anything and can't Stan just smash a little more? He needs to do it or else he's pretty sure he's going to explode. Its not a pretty sight, especially since Stan hasn't had the time to fully recharge his reserves just wakes up, does magic until he collapses, then repeats it the next time he wakes up again. Which is not good! That battery isn't safe for humans for a reason, and Stan relying on it is just making him sicker.

At that point it becomes a race to drill any rune into his skull before he gets burned out and dies. Extra angst if Ford hasn't discovered the wellspring yet, so its him, Fiddleford, Emma-May, and a sickly Stan living in Fords wagon on the run from both the wizard authorities hunting Ford down for suspected illegal wizarding and from the various parties interested in the first sorcerer in centuries. Stan's not helping here, as he's so far off the deep end he's barely coherent and just wants to keep breaking things. Spends the whole time tied up in the back and gagged while Fiddleford frantically tries to teach him anything.

As for a canon Stan sorcerer... hmm..

Stan doesnt click on the way up, but he's close to it. He's tired, exhausted, on the run and last bit of rope, but Ford needs him. Ford needs him, and Stan's going to help him. Going to go back, and they'll fix it and be brothers again. Just so long as he doesnt break anything else, not like everything else in his life he's touched.

So he gets there, and its mostly the same, except they get to the basement that is just humming and singing with magical runes and power, and Stan, who is so very close to taking that step, is transfixed by it. Lets assume magics gone mostly the same way, in that it faded, but unlike Princess Stan now its coming back. Its surging back to life, and wizards are already casting verbal spells but there hasn't been any sorcerers yet, because all the old bloodlines are so faded and dry there's nothing for the runes to click with.

Except now Stan's here, and for whatever reason he's managed to find himself with a huge magic reserve, and is a second away from clicking. And Ford is saying something, something important, and Stan's trying to listen, trying to finally be there for Ford, when he hears the 'first worthwhile thing in your life' and

BREAKS

Because really? this is it? This is all Ford wants from him? To go even further away? To never see him again? To swoop in and run an errand, then good bye Stan? Just call him like a dog, and not treat him like a brother? The one person Stan thought he ever had any kind of chance for some kind of positive relationship, and all Ford sees is someone to come and kick whenever it suits him.

And to top it all off, Stan's getting his brain blasted with some kind of deep truth about the universe, about how destruction and creation are interlinked and can't be defined or done without the other. Fords yelling about something and all Stan can see is that giant portal behind him. That giant portal that Ford cares more about than his own brother, his own family.

What would it look like if it fell to pieces?

Isn't even aware of what he's doing, Fords voice a distant buzz, just has his eyes locked on all those whispering runes and writing some weird symbol in the air and thinking about the whole thing coming apart.

Then it does, one screw and nail at a time, in the form of a golden glow thats coming from Stan and might be Stan? And Fords still yelling, but all Stan can see is the wave of metal parts crashing to the ground, and all he can feel is this deep warmth he hadn't realized was there before getting sucked out of him.

Then something hits him in the head and he blacks out. (its Ford, who saw all the yellow, saw Stan not reacting and using some kind of strange magic to tear apart his portal, and panicked hit Stan in the back of the head with the journal. That, combined with the huge amount of power Stan was pumping out to break the portal, just instantly ko'd him)

Since Stan was not accidentally draining himself or suffering mega trauma from a dragon slaughter, it does not take him three days to wake up. It takes him, like, ten minutes, and in that time Ford has already tied him up in a panic, because what? What was that? And also why and how dare he and really Stan! Always breaking things and what did Bill promise you! And Why did he want to break the portal because Fords really stumped on that one.

Stan has no idea what just happened, who Bill is, or if breaking the portal was good or bad. All he knows is that a sleep deprived scientist with only ten minutes does not make good knots, and he needs to write that funny symbol on as many things as possible pronto. Breaks out, instantly uses it on the nearest surface, gets whacked in the back of the head again. This loops at least two more times, before Stan finally yells at Ford for hitting him, and how he has no idea what his brothers talking about or whats happening just that he needs to write that symbol on as many things as possible, because its telling him to.

Now Fords dealing with a pissed off Bill and a baby sorcerer without knowing anything about how sorcerers work. Bill Knows though. Bill would be happy to take this one off his hands in fact. Stan broke his other portal, but he's pretty sure he can use him to make another one.

All he has to do is teach him the right rune after all, and unlike princess Stan Bill doesnt have to be nice :)

Hope that helps your brain space!

[mac-cheez]

Im so glad you like her!!! She's been my brain child for awhile now.

Was Cadmus successful?

When I was first making her, I did some research on why kryptonians are affected by Kryptonite, and if immunity was possible, and got some mixed results. Some people have pointed out that Superman has gotten steadily more immune over each exposure while others pointed out that it was the radiation that hurt Kryptonians so it's impossible to be immune. I almost thought I had to rewrite that part till I realized she was just going through the faster and deadlier version of what superman went through. So while she isn't immune, she is very resistent, which means she can be around a fuck ton of the stuff and act like Clark around and handful. She also can't really use her powers around it, she pretty much turns into a slightly stronger normal teenager. So Cadmus (her specific Cadmus branch is Cratus) did partially succeed, and likely would've furthered their testing to the next stage if the Justice league hadn't intervened.

In the next stage they likely would've locked her in a lab and done intensive testing on her body to figure out why she was resistant. Maybe it was a protein her body developed, maybe it was a buildup of something in her skin, I don't know and neither do they, but if they made it to this next stage she likely would've ended up a Cadmus operative whose one directive is to kill all supers. This would be very easy considering she's the only one who doesn't pass out at x amount of kryptonite.

Whether or not she wanted this to happen depends on the alternate, and there's a hilarious metric we use to know at a glance how evil a Lily is. Boot length. Not even joking. Main Lily has boots up to mid calf, so she's just got some trauma but still a pretty good moral compass. An alternate Lily who shows up later and went through the second stage, has knee high boots, she's killed a lot of people though to be fair to that one she was heavily brainwashed. Then the most evil one of all has boots that straight up are a part of her suit, no end to the boot. (Terrifying) (Also Tim probably slept with her no one's sure)

How does she escape?

How she escapes depends on the Canon. In the original canon, the project is uncovered by Batman and the Justice league do an all fronts attack to swiftly take it out and save to poor Kryptonian (who they believe to be another clone of Clark or Konnor). They do save Lily, but she's been told by her "parents" that they can't be trusted so she is very afraid of them and runs off. Flash, Supes, and WW have to chase her through the woods towards the emergency meet up point they taught her. Eventually she makes it there and is almost shot by the scientist posing to be her dad, but Flash grabs her at the last second and keeps her away just long enough for Supes and WW to arrest the scientist. This leads to a deep mistrust between her and those three, especially superman once she finds out that they are related because why would he scare her like that if they were family? So she ends up latching onto Batman as a result and he takes care of her until she is ready to meet Clark again (Ya know once her nightmares of him go away a bit).

In the Fae au she's being trafficked by a dragon named Cadmus (may or may not be the one from Greek myth), and is found by Tim, who is usually very powerful and kills the traffickers. This version of Lily has more physical trauma to her then the original, her bird wings are scarred and missing feathers and can barely move when Tim first finds her. It takes a few days before Tim thinks to check her wings, only after noticing she refuses to lay on her back. This version of Lily also doesn't remember much pre save because her mind has locked all of that away, so she's practically amnesic for a long time.

In the Immortals au she's still kept by Cadmus the dragon, but this time there's more of a vendetta. Immortal Lily was born in myceneaen Greece, and was pretty powerful. This presumably made Cadmus jealous and he razed her favorite village as a result. Cue the bitter rivalry. Eventually he was able to capture her in Gaul during the Roman invasions and he kept her in a half conscious, barely alive state so he could harvest ingredients from her. Way later he loaned her to Lex Luthor so he could make a clone of superman with her immeasurable casting power, Lex unknowing that she was supes sister. Eventually when Konnor broke out, he convinced Red Robin to help him break her out, because he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her behind when he's pretty sure she's also a captive. So they do, and then she recoups in the chasm where it's really dark so she can replenish her shadows (she has shadow based magic and has a blessing of nyx).

Does she want to be a doctor in og Canon?

No not really, she's more of a strategist and stealth operative in both the Immortal and OG canons. The difference here is that Fae Lily is more close to her roots, and in that canon each El has their "science". For her it's medical Alchemy and strategy and she has old texts her dad left who was also an alchemist so she trying her best to keep that legacy up.

Does Jason come back before Lily? Does that effect how Tim is adopted?

If you mean before shes found then no she shows up not long after Tim is made robin. There is a period of time though where Jason is back and she doesn't really visit, especially during the royalty au. I think arrow would know more about how it affects Tim, but he definitely uses her to his advantage to get what he wants. Big, "tell mom you want McDonald's, she'll listen to you" vibes.

Does Jason know it's a proposal?

No, he just gave it to her because she seemed to like it, and he really liked her, so he thought it was a nice gift. It isn't till later when she tells him directly that he decides that yes it is a proposal and asks what she gives him in return. She gives him her matriarch necklace that was passed down from her father, which is her most prized possession and a symbol that Jason is now under the protection of the house of El.

Is Fae!Lily experimented on?

Probably but not as much as the other versions. She's more of a trophy in the ring, a piece of a dragons horde. She's not meant for anything other then to have, whatever else happens while shes in his stores doesn't really matter to Cadmus. There were probably some guards that did their own experiments on her, but nothing as organized as og Canon and Immortal canon.

Yall haven't seen the aus me and my girlfriend have been making and honestly I feel kinda bad for you

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

Hii!! I hope this isn’t too forward, I love ur civilian X AU and was just thinking over like what if one day he just. ran out of ideas on how to get the rest of the top 10 to stop fighting over him and coincidentally, he falls sick and THAT’S what makes them lock tf in lmao

Like maybe he’s been busy in his office job and also fighting the rest of top 10 whenever he’s in X form, that it doesn’t hit him that something is off until he sways on his feet on his way home from office job, and why is he feeling hot and cold at the same time,

All the top 10 catches wind of this and starts working together (begrudgingly, calling a truce) to take care of him, and also hating X more cuz where is this mans bf and why isn’t he taking care of his partner!!!

And X is like, relieved that at least now they’ve stopped fighting- then pauses and realises he probs just created more problems for his hero self to deal with and sighs in exasperation.

Sorry for the long rant, I just had to get this outta my brain.

oh my glob. yes. (i have. a very long standing thing for dramatic fainting and whump-type stuff so. yes. need.)

And absolutely, they all want to beat up hero X even more than before b/c wtf do you mean he's not only scored this man but is ignoring him??? Does he even invite him to his floor in the tower?? Do they live together??? (I still think X is homeless in this au lmao) They probably suspect hero X is cheating, the gotdam bastard--

But also, the way they'd start fighting over the best way to take care of him 😭 Cyan's singing lullabies while Ghostblade is trying to force the porridge he made onto X (it will be the best thing he's ever tasted in his life, but he's too sick to remember later), Queen has raided every pharmacy (she has somehow managed to get everything but the medicine he needs), Luo Li has somehow gotten hospital machinery into his shitty little apartment they've all crammed into and is taking his vitals, Nice is obsessively cleaning everything to make sure the whole place is sterile, E-Soul is standing by as like, a human defibrillator. Just in case. Big Johnny is purring (?) on his chest as he lays there helplessly. Ahu tries to imitate to little success. They get in each other's way and are just. so close to fighting, only to be interrupted by the tiniest sneeze to remind them why they've made a truce.

And they've all been superhuman for so long they can't remember what the fuck a normal illness is like LMAO (he just needs a few days of rest...they are not helping his ass by being there)

[possibly-in-wonderland]

We are not fucking particular.

[thediamondarcher]

I seriously don't understand how famous people can take criticism because i see one person saying something bad about a celebrity i like and i get like actually anxious and i feel really bad

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

[ourceliumnetwork]

me, the symptoms experiencer, experiencing symptoms: wow gee i wonder what the fuck is happening right now i have no context for why i could possibly feel bad, surely i'm not experiencing symptoms. me, when i figure out it's the symptoms:

[tsuzukerukoto]

what color is your love language?

Mulberry.

Key words: romance, slow-burning, devotion. The love of yearning, of candlelit nights spend staring longingly at your lover's hands or of cramping your own with the effort of writing the perfect love letter, yours is the love that transcends time, expectations, and patience. When you're in love with somebody, you give them your whole heart. An extremely loyal, thoughtful, and introspective person, your ideal date may involve simply opening a bottle of wine and revelling in the company of your favourite person. Voted most likely to fall in love with somebody who your soul remembers from a past life - if you believe in that sort of thing. Best matched with: Mulberry, Peacock, Scarlet

tagged by: I stole it from the dash! tagging: take it!

[altruistic-meme]

i am once again shaking myself upsidedown over my laptop in the hopes that the words i want to write come tumbling out of my ears

[ame-to-ame]

.

[uitzinnigmp3]

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[radioactive-cloud]

it's so fucked up that my happiness literally depends on me and i'm the only one who can make it better but also i won't do anything

[mrfoox]

God, I am such a... Motherly type of person and I don't even try to be it just... I catch myself in the act and I'm like ah... Oh... Hmm

Yes, I basically told Andreas my fwb to come lay on my chest and tell me about his work (vent) and he went on and on as I stroked his hair and nodded along

[wonryllis]

✴ DID I RIZZ YOU UP? HOT THINGS THEY DO.

𝑜𝑓. enhypen unintentionally using rizz like it's their second nature contains. fem!r, fluff, kinda suggestive pg 15. wc. 648, 90 something each check out. the d𝒾rectory? stat. my fogged up brain.

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖥𝖫𝖠𝖬𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖭𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖱 𝖶𝖠𝖭𝖤𝖲──────𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝗈𝗈𝗍𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍.

𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦

if there's one thing heeseung loves― it's eye contact with you. staring at your eyes, taking in every detail on your face, every expression you make; you name it. he loves knowing exactly how you are feeling in the moment, loves reading the silent words bouncing right off your pretty eyes. and that is precisely why he more often than not grabs your jaw or lifts your chin and says,"look at me," his gaze boring into yours, sometimes trailing off and focusing on your parted lips and squished cheeks.

𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖩𝖮𝖭𝖦𝖲𝖤𝖮𝖭𝖦

to jay the feel of your ass and thighs on his own is the best feeling in the world. the warmth of your skin reaching him through his pants when you are wearing something short. the pride, the possiveness, the sense of contentment― it flatters his vanity. his girl, on his lap. always manspreading and patting his thigh to offer his lap as a seat. whether within the walls of privacy or right in the middle of a room full of friends, he is always apt, way too eager under a mask of poise.

𝖲𝖨𝖬 𝖩𝖠𝖤𝖸𝖴𝖭

is he even your jake sim if doesn't have his hand on you at any and all points of time? not touching you is a living nightmare for him. every chance he gets, he has his hand on your thighs― at all times, caressing and squeezing. when he has you against his chest, holding you by your waist; he squeezes. when you are cuddling, cozied up together; he caresses. when you are in the midst of a family dinner, under the table; he caresses and squeezes. it's like a habit, a primitive tendency.

𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖭

sunghoon revels in control, being in charge, wearing the pants in the situation. it's like a part of his personality, the hottest thing about him that he probably has no idea of. and that just makes it hotter. never realizing how dominant he sounds and looks when he merely tells you "come here" or simply pulls you by your waist. never using too much words, just lucid commands and prompt actions. not caring about where and when, only aware of the fact that he wants you near him and as quick as possible.

𝖪𝖨𝖬 𝖲𝖤𝖮𝖭𝖶𝖮𝖮

98% of the times, sunoo is a sweet saccharine boyfriend. always making sure you are the most comfortable person in the room, being the little cozy space of your life. but even a yang has a yin in it at it's strongest. and that's kim sunoo, cornering you into things when he has something serious to discuss. rolling up his sleeves and brushing back his hair as his voice gets deeper and the smile vanishes off his eyes. a person so in contrast to your usual boyfriend but so hot.

𝖸𝖠𝖭𝖦 𝖩𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖶𝖮𝖭

this guy has no cool when you are on your feet. he just has to be the one to escort you around, help you with things, make sure you do not have to use too much energy. always having his hands on your hips while he guides you along. a normal date in the neighborhood or a vacation overseas, an empty alley or a crowded street― crowded room even, right infront of everyone. jungwon just wants you to shut your brain down when you are with him, to let him do it all for you.

𝖭𝖨𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖬𝖴𝖱𝖠 𝖱𝖨𝖪𝖨

one thing riki can't ever hate about being tall is getting to tease the shit out of you. but one thing he always does with no intentions to fluster you is lean down to hear you, face closing in on yours in a stare. his already deep voice going a tone lower as he grows serious, all ready to hear whatever you have to say. your words mean business to him― absolute vip business. sometimes even crouching down when you are seated, eyes trained on your face like “yeah baby? what is it?”

taglist 。open! @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia @nxzz-skz @shawnyle @potato0579 @enhastolemyheart @ro-diaries @aaa-sia @enhabooks @criminalyun @oddracha @seochangbinnnnnnnnnnn @jayjw16enxp

[mosspapi]

Can't decide if I'm being paranoid or if my gut instinct was correct and I should've asked for a different prescription. I hate both my brain and my body

[sirfrogsworth]

The Price of "Efficiency"

There is a classic story about writing in space. It typically goes something like,

"NASA spent millions of dollars developing an ink pen so they could write in microgravity.

Russia used a pencil."

It became a parable about efficiency and bloated, wasteful budgets and overcomplication.

And without nuance, it feels like a good lesson. It's a simple teaching you can store in your brain and it can help you avoid complication when simplicity will work just as well.

But the parable is a lie.

There is a reason they spent millions of dollars making a space pen. Pencils in space are fucking dangerous. If one splinter or shard or speck gets loose in zero gravity that fucker can float directly into your eyeball.

There is a more modern version of this story. Congress will look over NASA or the military's budget and ask why they need $400 hammers or bolts that cost $50 apiece. They will hold up a bag of bolts and tell the taxpayer they are getting screwed.

But the NASA hammer has the pencil problem. If a shard of steel breaks off that hammer in zero gravity, it's a big problem. It could float into an important electrical system and cause a short. Maybe even a fire.

And those bolts might be for a $50 million fighter jet. They need to be custom manufactured to extreme tolerances. And you'll be glad you paid for those $50 bolts because replacing the fighter jet will end up being much more costly.

This is a concept Elon Musk should understand considering his work at SpaceX. People often deride SpaceX when a rocket blows up. They see it as a giant waste. But that is a normal part of rocket development. If you want to make a better rocket, you cannot avoid blowing a few into smithereens.

Everything needs context.

You have to consider nuance before making huge unilateral decisions about apparent wasteful spending. The folks who run these programs should be allowed to defend their existence. But outside his own interests, Elon can only seem to see space pens when Russian pencils will suffice. He is looking at these programs and making no effort to see the nuance.

They say USAID gives more money to "governance" than they give to "humanitarian aid."

HOW WASTEFUL!

Except a lot of humanitarian aid gets stolen without government infrastructure to secure and deliver said aid.

Waste happens. Fraud happens. I have no doubt.

But figuring out what is *actually* wasteful is a difficult job that takes a lot of research and understanding.

But also, sometimes the fraud and the waste are worth it. Large companies will actually factor theft and fraud into their budget because it would be more costly to try and prevent it. They consider it "the cost of doing business."

But it seems no fraud or waste is acceptable to a conservative when the goal is helping people. 100% efficiency is required. You can't give all kids school lunches because some of those kids have rich parents. You can't give people disability income because some will take advantage.

Apparently if you can help millions of people but you have to absorb 10% of the cost due to fraud... well that is just unacceptable.

It's better to help no one at all.

Oftentimes Republicans will create anti-fraud programs that end up costing more than the actual fraud happening. And all the anti-fraud programs end up doing is making deserving people jump through extra hoops.

Get a lawyer. See an approved doctor. Gather 20 years of evidence that you've been disabled. Whoops, they didn't request the proper records. Start over.

That was basically my disability case. I was already on disability. They had already determined I was disabled 20 years ago. But I had to prove that I was disabled all over again to get the better kind of disability. They couldn't take their own word that I was disabled.

Those hoops were created because catching fraud is more important than helping people.

Not terribly efficient.

And then there is the "not our problem" approach.

Taxpayer money is "wasted" helping people in other countries. "We have homeless veterans! Why are we helping African babies?"

Giving out free condoms is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to stop the spread of disease. Sickness cares very little for imaginary borders. Saving lives in another country also saves lives here. It's mutually beneficial. We probably even prevented some of those homeless vets from getting infected.

No thought is being put into this scorched earth shit show.

As always... get fucked, Elon.