#why are you so obsessed with how transgender people present themselves??

[onlyfangz]

i feel like some people only care about breaking down gender norms when it's a transgender person presenting as their gender. "why wont you wear skirts?" im a dude. "why arent you okay with being called girlie (gn)?" im a dude. "why dont you want to wear makeup?" im a dude. "but those things dont make you any less of a dude!!" GET OFF MY DICK, CHELSEA.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

isn't it crazy how feminism was basically the open door for gender ideologies and now women are waking up for the bullshit, and going rad fem, without realizing the core issues all over again? i mean i follow some rad fems just to see what they are up to, and also because they are speaking violently against this madness, but its just so sad that we keep missing the point people

idk sorry for venting but i would love to read your thoughts on it because usually im just trying to be "sober" against all this, but sometimes its like the whole world went nuts and it feels awful

The weirdest thing, and the biggest issue, is that pretty much everyone you know is 'waking up' to some aspect of the madness of our present age, whether it's because of the transgender insanity, or the targeted hatred of white people, the demonization of men, or being afraid of speaking out against the spread of Islamism, or the overt one-sided political bias of the corporate media, education system and entertainment world.

The big issue is that most people pick just one of these to fixate and obsess upon, while they still carry on supporting and defending all the others, and attacking anyone who tries to stand up against them. It's only when you acknowledge that the same far-left agenda that supports and aggressively promotes one of them also aggressively supports and promotes all the others that you can start to make any sense as to why any of it is happening.

There are two particular groups of feminist friends I used to hang out with: one of them would rage against Islamism, and the treatment of women in Islamic countries, and were furious that speaking out on behalf of those women would get them silenced or even arrested. The other group is furious against the biological males taking over women's spaces, and the state violence greeting any women speaking out against it.

But both groups will still loudly vote Labour, still read the Guardian, and still believe everything else they hear coming out of the BBC or CNN or Disney or Facebook or fill in the blank. And of course they'll still call themselves feminists. It's just that one little thing they have a problem with, that they view as an entirely separate and disconnected issue from all the other madness, and so are completely at a loss when it comes to trying to explain why the world is seemingly making no sense anymore.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Missouri ranks last in the nation in starting salaries for teachers and 49th in state funding of schools, so low that a quarter of the districts have cut back to four-day weeks.

But the GOP legislators in the “Show Me” state have demonstrated their priority with at least 20 bills aimed at the LBGTQ community. Ten are aimed at restricting transgender athletes in the schools. That is in a state where just seven transgender students in K-12 are presently registered to compete.

"There’s more bills about trans kids playing sports than there are trans kids that want to play sports," Senate Democratic Minority Leader John Rizzo told reporters last week.

This legislative frenzy causes the father of one 9-year-old transgender boy—a soccer and basketball player as well as a computer wiz and all around happy kid—to feel his family is targeted.

“Our state government is at war with our family,” Daniel Bogard told The Daily Beast.

He says his son is otherwise fine, accepted and embraced and supported by his family, friends, and community.

“The only bullies in our lives work for the state legislature,” he said.

Bogard, who is 39, serves along with his wife, Karen, as rabbi at the Central Reform Congregation in St. Louis. Their residence has been his family’s home for four generations. He now wonders if they will have to move to another, more tolerant state.

“[My trans son] sleeps in the bedroom that was my bedroom in the house my kids’ great grandpa built and we’re afraid we’re going to have to flee,” Bogard said.

The bigotry is more intense these days, but it is nothing new. Bogard has been making the two-hour drive to the Capitol in Jefferson City for four years seeking to counter LGBTQ legislation. He often brings along his trans son, along with another son who is two years older.

“This is not lobbying,” Bogard said. “This is showing up and begging our legislators to stop torturing our kids and our families, to see us as human beings and have some empathy…Just to let us live our lives and raise our children as we and our faith and our doctors understand is best.”

Both boys go with him to legislators who seem at least open to supporting them. But Bogard keeps his trans son away from the hearings, where people too often prove themselves cruelly insensitive.

“We had a Senator in a hearing ask a kid about his genitals,” Bogard said.

He noted that this is a particular fixation among the bigots.

“How obsessed they are with children’s genitals,” he said. “What they’re really saying when they ask ‘what is he really?’ They’re really asking what his genitals look like.”

He added, “Then they look at us and tell us we’re sexualizing kids and grooming them. And we’re just trying to let kids be kids.”

Bogard says these bigots are more offended by a trans girl than by a trans boy.

“They live in a world that has a strict gender binary,” Bogard said. “It’s a world view that is deeply patriarchal and misogynistic. They get it in their minds why a girl would want to be a boy. The other direction, they treat those kids with disgust.”

On his part, Bogard is most repelled by the legislators who are not actually bigoted, but are only going along with it because it is expedient in an increasingly right-wing state where almost half the Republican candidates run uncontested in the general election and the primary is everything.

“How cynical and disgusting is that?” Bogard said. “They know they’re torturing us and they’re only doing it because it’s good for them politically.”

Bogard’s older son has testified four times on behalf of his brother and a trans friend, most recently on Tuesday.

“I'm here today because I have a trans brother and a trans friend, and I have to be here because you, the Missouri government keeps trying to take away what they have a passion for,” the older brother began. “Why do you keep trying to take things from these kids? Kids just wanna have fun playing sports and not wasting time being stressed and coming here to tell you to let them play. It’s been years that you have been trying to take things away from people that I love who are just little kids. They’re not competing for a scholarship or a job where most of the time they’re not even in a tournament. They’re just trying to have fun, which they can’t do since you’re trying to pass these bills. This has affected my brother because now he gets scared that he will not be able to do what he loves.”

He went on, “It’s affecting my dad because now he goes here every other week to sit for hours to say a small speech that might not even mean anything to you. It’s affecting me because I love living here in Missouri and I’m scared that I might have to move away… because of these bills. My family and my friends are just trying to live their lives in peace in Missouri and you are hurting us and scaring us. So please vote no on Senate Bill(s) 2, 29, 39, 48, 87, 165 and all other bills that are targeting trans kids. Thank you for your time.”

The 11 year-old was reading from a statement that he had composed on a desktop computer built by the 9-year-old.

“From scratch,” the father later told The Daily Beast. “With allowance and birthday money.”

After testifying, the 11-year-old stayed the night in Jefferson City with his trans friend’s family. His own family, including his 9-year-old brother and his grandmother, Denise Bogard, were at the Capitol the next day. The grandmother has Parkinson’s disease, which is a comorbidity with COVID. She had accordingly been very careful about venturing into public indoor spaces, but she risked it to join her son and grandson in doing what they could to counter the hate.

The family had surmised from the younger boy’s earliest years that he might be trans. He balked at wearing a dress and preferred his brother’s clothes. He was 4 when he asked a question that seemed to confirm it.

“He asked if God could make him over again in a boy’s body,” Daniel Bogard recalled.

Bogard cut the boy’s long, beautiful hair to his shoulder and then to his chin and then to his ears.

“He looked at it and said, ‘I’m a boy!” Bogard remembered.

At 9, he is what his father describes as “so well adjusted, such a normal kid.”

On Wednesday, the younger son was back among legislators who treat kids like him as handy targets.

“Trans kids are among the most vulnerable kids,” Bogard said. “They’re really easy punching bags.”

The 9-year-old then returns to the house where his family has lived for four generations and fears they will be forced to flee. Bogard feels certain that the elected officials he calls “these bigots and bullies who control our state” will be introducing additional anti-trans bills that are a greater concern to them than underfunded schools and underpaid teachers and fewer school days.

“There will be more [bills] next week and they’ll just keep coming because they all want their name tied to this cruelty,” he said.

[coffeexmythos]

The Carter Remains: Introduction

Some details to be decided

---

The Carter Remains

Premise: Lovecraft Mythos meets Southern Gothic, with a transgender protagonist

His name is Wes but only two people call him that. The first is his online friend, V. The second is his best friend, [name]. Everyone else still calls him by his birth name, even now that he was outed as transgender by his elder sister. No one is hostile to him, not in this modern era of smart phones and streaming. Their words are polite, sweet like poisoned tea. But he can tell how things have been severed. He is an outsider in his Alabama town once again – especially with [best friend] currently in a mental hospital, unlikely to be released any time soon. [Best friend] seems like a different person, obsessed with solving a puzzle no one else understands or knows about, and no one knows why.

One steamy, rainy summer night, a package is dropped on the back door of the museum Wes works at. Inside are clothes, books and journals from the 1920s, all labeled with the same name – Randolph Carter, an occultist who vanished in that same era. As word gets out, historians and occultists descend upon the town, to examine the items for themselves. Are they real? Who left the package? How did they get these items? Why did they leave it at a small town’s museum instead of sending it to Miskatonic University, or any of the dozens of other museums in the country?

But not long after, someone else approaches Wes – Randolph Carter himself. The disembodied spirit claims to be in hiding from someone or something called Nyarlothotep [a name Wes has never heard before] and asks for Wes’s help. In return, he promises to help Wes reclaim the mysterious, prophetic powers he had as a child, before his deeply religious mother discovered them. Wes doesn’t trust Carter. He has no knowledge of the occult, and no interest in it before the package arrived at the museum. All he’s wanted is the same thing he’s always wanted: to get the hell out of the South and find somewhere better. And yet… Carter calls him Wes. Doesn’t even need to be told. The sound of his chosen name, his real name, coming from the mouth of a stranger gives Wes hope.

In the skin-soaking, insect-flooded Alabama summer, Wes will regret ever being so naive.

---

Content warnings: body horror, general cosmic horror and Lovecraftian fucked-up-ness, transphobia, passing acknowledgement of racism past and present, religious themes and trauma, potentially others that will be added later

This story is partially autobiographical and requires a certain amount of research prior to writing. I will discuss my research materials [especially Lovecraftian horror both written by the man and other writers that followed] in various blog posts.

Please let me know what you think! I’d love to hear from all of you

[thermporia]

Oh I absolutely want to hear about the other two. Tell me everything.

college is sapping my energy, so i will just write this in bulletpoint format. cw suicide self harm and all that fun stuff

poppy

funny little man

he has to constantly be on something, otherwise he is actually going to have a nervous breakdown. he has nervous breakdowns anyway.

he hates talking to people. hates it.

like, hed rather run a cheese grater up and down his arm. he has done this before, and will do it again.

he legitimately wants to die a lot of the time, but hes weirdly apprehensive about actually doing it.

he likes to play russian roulette with the LD50. will this dose kill me??? lets find out

his vision is horrible without glasses he cannot see jackshit

smells bad. id describe it as blood and isopropyl alcohol.

cant drive

hes stuck forks into sockets just to feel a little something

lives in the basement, with his 2d gf baiken (its a body pillow and its covered in everything imaginable)

hes pretty sure his insides are rotting and peppered with holes

he wants to prove it but he cant without dissecting himse-

he has the thought above and thinks its a great idea to quell his anxiety surrounding the theory

he literally gets hospitalized because of this (joke)

that one picture of the anime girl holding her hand out to you through a noose

he is constantly being tossed between "i could not care less. i want to return to the soil" and "i am going to die, i dont want to die yet"

weird fetish guy.

really weird fetish guy. hes playing 5d fetish chess.

iris

pathetic taller man

he owns a gun, i dont know how he got it. he calls it his raifu in private

raifu

he talks a lot of shit for someone who will legitimately cry if you dont think hes the coolest guy ever

"why wont people like me im an alpha male and im really smart"

he believes that he was meant to be born as a cis guy but is not because his mother ate a lot of tofu or something

like he will not eat soy bc he thinks itll fuck up his transition

he wears shoes that give him a height boost

he despises it when people are taller than him

hes trying really hard to be the cool unaffected aloof guy and hes just not very good at it and hes SO upset

he really likes how some of the people he hates present themselves but hed never say that

like hed wear dresses and even more pink, shit from claires? but no, hes so fucking obsessed with being "A Real Transgender".

even if he did, he'd still say hes A Real Trans and not a Trender bc (convoluted reason)

he falls for misinformation hook line and sinker if it slots in neatly with his worldview

he needs attention, affection, and adoration. without it, he withers like an overdramatic houseplant.

hed never do drugs by himself, but if you peer pressure him?? yeah.

he gets really offended by the idea of talking about sex stuff in public, like he wont shut up about keeping stuff in the bedroom

if you so much as imply you fuck he will not shut the fuck up

smells bad, like too much expensive cologne.

also a weird fetish guy, he hates this part of himself more than anything

[chibimyumi]

I too have a question on your opinion on something that I am pretty sure you've never covered, but, I know you have covered a LOT of grell things, and it IS a Grell thing. It's more like a theory I have seen that some people have, that the "butler disguise" and persona were sort of giving us a glimpse of what Grell was like before she became a reaper. BUt I am unsure myself. It has always felt like just a disguise and nothing more! What do you think??

Dear Anon,

Thanks for checking whether the answer to your question is already available before asking! (^▽^) I appreciate that a lot.

As to your question... I am not sure. As I have said often before, we don’t actually know all that much about Grell, let alone her inner psyche. Unlike Sebas and especially O!Ciel who are heavily built on their inner psyche and how they need to regulate their actions (i.e. we have a clear view of what they are hiding and why they choose to express what), Grell is a character built and centered on sheer expression. In addition to Grell not having all that much “screentime”, it really is impossible to conclude what she used to be/is like outside of her few appearances in the manga so far.

However, there is value in discussing what may or may not have been, so let us do just that ^^

Can Grell’s butler disguise offer a glimpse of her former self?

Disclaimer: I am not transgender myself, so I cannot speak from personal experience; only from secondhand experience from my transgender friends/acquaintances who told me their stories in confidence, or from interviews.

Before we can begin a meaningful discussion, we first need to consider the function of Grell’s disguise; the demure and hopeless butler.

‘The Watchdog x the Black Butler’ have earned themselves quite some notoriety fame in society because of their astonishing capabilities. Grell however, would have to achieve the opposite; inconspicuousness. With a male-coded body she had better choose a male disguise because 1. a female persona would reversely attract attention, and 2. female servants did not enjoy the same “privileges” male servants did, which would have made her service to Madam very inconvenient.

In short, we can conclude that a male disguise was not much of a choice, but an inevitability in the “stage and setting” the-great-actress had to play. So now the question remains: “why this specific demure and hopeless role, and does this role reflect her former self in any way?”

Now let us discuss both the “yes” and the “no”.

【tw suicide and transphobia mention】

“No.” - Why relive a trauma?

As I said before, we don’t know much about Grell, so we also don’t know how much her past affects her current self. One thing we are relatively certain of however, is that Grell probably killed herself because she couldn’t bear to live as a man anymore.

If we accept this as the reason Grell killed herself, then it is important to ask: “IF the demure and hopeless persona was the way she used to be, and IF it is unbearable for Grell to relive the life she had to end, why then would she choose this role?” There are many other ways to be an inconspicuous male butler other than the specific persona Grell went with. Butler Sutcliff could just have been mediocre and silent, for example.

We don’t know whether Grell has had enough time to move past her trauma, but considering how she still begrudges sex workers who want a hysterectomy enough to so violently kill them, it is fairly reasonable to say her trauma is still with her. If her past “self” was so unbearable that she killed it, I would say it makes no sense whatsoever she would choose to revisit that trauma since other options are clearly available.

Opposite or just different?

In a society as obsessed with masculinity as the early Victorian one, Grell must have experienced a real struggle by being ““blessed with a male status”” and yet unable to live up to a ‘proper’ male life. Who was supposed to tell Grell that ‘transgender’ is a thing and that it’s okay? Most likely Grell may not even really have believed herself when her subconscious told her she was a woman; the concept of ‘sex ≠ gender’ was unheard of!

All transgender people cope differently of course, but I learned that some transgender women initially overcompensate with hyper masculinity to convince themselves and/or others they actually are men. It is not inconceivable that Grell did exactly that to conform and avoid being exposed to danger.

In this case, it is likely that this persona is either very different or even the polar opposite from what she used to present herself as. Perhaps during her partnership with Madam Red, the choice for such a demure role was to help her temporarily live as a man without having to re-experience the traumatic life she had ended before.

“Yes” - Method acting

Grell is a self-proclaimed great actress, but no matter how gifted an actor, the possibility of slipping up will always exist. Grell is not performing in a 3-hour musical with a passive audience that’s simply there to see her shine; no, she is being undercover for a high-risk mission that tolerates zero mistakes.

Adopting a familiar persona can ensure maximum ‘naturalness’ and smoothness; it is a “role” that she had rehearsed for many years already, after all. She would already know why she used to act in a certain way, how she would have responded in surprise situations. This could spare her the effort of having to improvise a “logical” behaviour should her cover be tested, and could save her from being caught for character-inconsistencies.

To allow for this method acting however, Grell would need to trust herself mentally stable enough as not to be affected by unpleasant memories. Perhaps Grell has had enough time and opportunity to move past her trauma, who knows? In this case the violent serial murders stem from just perverse vindictiveness rather than being a reaction to trauma. Or it is even possible that Grell’s vindictiveness and hate were simply stronger than her trauma. We really can’t tell.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we don’t know enough about Grell to be able to tell whether the demure butler persona reflects her former self. There are equally valid reasons for both theories.

Under the assumption that the trauma is still present in Grell, it is most likely that the demure and hopeless butler is a far departure from past-Grell. This means that this persona only tells us what Grell was NOT like, but we are still left with no clue as to how Grell presented herself before she killed herself.

Alternatively, if we find it more likely that Grell would opt for the strategy of method acting, and therefore having ‘the familiar’ to fall back on, it would be possible that the butler persona does give a glimpse of her former self. This however, would demand the precondition that Grell has another coping strategy for her past trauma; a trauma we know was so unbearable it drove her to suicide.

I hope this helps!! What do you think? ^ω^ What would you have done if you were in her shoes?

MASTERPOST Furukawa Era Kuromyu

MASTERPOST Gender in Kuroshitsuji

MASTERPOST My Art

MASTERPOST Analyses & Info

Man!Greller Debunking Series

[residentofthedisc]

An Open Letter From an Autistic Transgender Man to J.K. Rowling

Dear Ms. Rowling.

This is a response to your comment made on the 10th of June 2020 on your blog about autistic transgender men being victims of manipulation by transgender activists and misogynistic beliefs. My name for this scenario is Unsigned. I am a twenty-one-year-old autistic transgender man and I feel compelled to write this open letter addressing your statement. As in any essay, academic or otherwise, the introduction must serve to provide the reader with the basics of the essay’s intentions.

I believe that I can sum up the heart of my argument in three simple sentences.

1.     I am not your tragedy.

2.     I am not your prop.

3.     I am certainly not your weapon.

Firstly, before I go into this properly, as you can imagine, I was disgusted and grieved to wake up that morning and find that my existence had been filed into a weapon to harm and discredit those within my own community. I was especially sickened by your decision to release said statement – and your earlier one about an article describing menstruation with gender neutral terminology – during Pride Month, and amidst a historical and important Black Lives Matter movement. This seems to be an underhanded and inflammatory choice, of which, I must say, I do not approve.

Now, statement number one. Autistic people have long been mischaracterised as being – for lack of a better word – infantile. We are treated, regardless of our support needs (which is hardly an indicator of age), as eternal children. Our existence is spoken of in hushed tones, people deny their own children lifesaving medicine in fear of them becoming us, and we are spoken over and silenced by those around us. Being on the spectrum does not mean that we are something lesser. It does not mean that we are sick or broken. It does not even mean that we are something other. We simply are what we are.

We have been needlessly abused, mistreated, and not believed. If you, Ms. Rowling, wish to assist autistic people in the advancements of our rights and human dignity, you would turn your immense influence towards providing a more accurate understanding of autism, amplifying autistic voices (non, semi, and fully verbal and every gender and race), and supporting autistic-lead organisations such as the National Autistic Society. You do not help us, Ms. Rowling, by attacking and belittling members of our community who are already disadvantaged by transphobic attitudes. Our existence is not a tragedy, Ms. Rowling, we are simply human beings with differing needs and worldly understandings, and we do not need you to defend us against imaginary evil when there is real evil being done to us.

Statement number two. Autistic people are not props to be moved around the theatre of your performative prejudice. As difficult as it may be to believe, we are people with the capabilities to make up our own minds and make our own decisions. We are capable of understanding who we are. That is our decision to make. Not yours.

Your statement that autistic transgender men has increased is… true. But only to a point. We have not increased in number because of people pushing us down this path. We have increased because now we have access to the vocabulary to name what we are feeling, there is increased understanding and acceptance, and autistic assigned-female-at-birth people are now having their voices heard and being officially diagnosed. We are not being manipulated. We are coming to conclusions based on new information, which is how you grow as a person and understand more about the world. You change your opinions. You grow. That is what these autistic transgender men have done. It takes an extortionate amount of time and courage to gather help and have your feelings believed by doctors and parents. We are not running off and slicing off our breasts and genitals on a whim. We fight for our right to transition. It takes years and the negotiation of a circus-full of hoops. It is not a spur of the moment decision. We are not doing to look cool or fit in. We have realised something monumental about ourselves and we are acting on it. And if it appears that we change our minds again? Good. We are learning more and more about ourselves. You are not part of that process.

Lastly, I am not a weapon. My autism is not a weapon. It has been used as such, many times. It means I struggle with high levels of sensory input. I struggle with social situations and social cues. I have special interests and obsessions over little things. But I am not stupid. I am not alone. I have different views of the world. I am not something for you to hone against your transphobic whetstone. Let me explain myself.

I believe that gender and sex are two different things. Sex is to do with your genitals, your chromosomes. It has nothing to do with your brain. Gender is how you present yourself – it is a construct which you form about your own personality and likes. My genitals have nothing to do with how I present myself. And I feel male so that is what I am. This is not a moral statement, but a factual one. I am male. Gender is a social idea – our views on what makes someone male or female or intersex or non-binary have changed with the times and seasons. A man today would not be an ideal man back in ancient Greece.

Funny thing about autistic people? We tend not to pick up or agree with social ideas. Our autism does affect how we view the world and – personally – gender just seems to be a bit… simple. I have no idea why my genitalia should dictate which pronouns I use because someone else decided that that was fine. Or the idea that having a penis or a vagina or any combination of the above changes my personality.  Rather like someone deciding that electroshock therapy for gay people was fine. It feels disingenuous to try and stuff a massive spectrum of personal enlightenment into two little boxes which we cannot move from. I knew I was transgender long, long before I knew I was autistic. There were no sinister transgender women creeping into my room when I was seven and whispering insidious transgender messages into my little ear. I was not even aware of what transgender was until I was around twelve. I did not have an accurate understanding of autism until I was fourteen. And not knowing the words did not change what I was. I was merely given the lexicon of my struggles and a voice with which to speak the language.

Additionally, if it is sex-based problems you say transgender people get in the way of, then why not speak purely on sex? ‘Menstruators’ or ‘people who menstruate’ gets to the intended audience far more accurately than ‘women’. Some cis women do not have wombs. And the first wave of feminism was about separating women’s rights from their biology. Why circle back around to that?

So, trans men are men because they feel male. Transgender women are women for the same reasons. And believe me, there are a negligible amount of predatory men (because that is who you are truly angry with, transgender women are your scapegoats), if any, who would subject themselves to the dangers transgender women face to circumnavigate an obstacle such as a door which says women only. They can just open the door and get inside to do their evil without this ridiculous rigmarole which you suggest they do. Really. And autistic transgender men are men. We are not confused.

Unlike you, Ms. Rowling, I do not pretend to speak for all autistic people. But I can speak for those within my own community. We do not want to speak these lines you’ve forced down our throats. I stand with my transgender siblings, especially my sisters, and I will not be used against my friends. Not by you and not by anyone.

[wherethefuckisthatjigsawpiece]

so if you are reading this then i am dead.

Yeah. So. I maybe died. I know on tumblr the famous “if you’re reading this I’m dead” story is from that poor transgender kid who committed suicide. I can confirm that this is not a suicide note. But if you are reading this I am likely dead. So. I suppose this will be equally pleasant to read. 

So... long story short, I got cancer. I got cancer at 23. I got diagnosed with a stage four cancer which did not present any symptoms and which the doctors did not find in time enough to stop it. Being a paranoid health nut did nothing, it turns out. While I hope my death will not be painful I can at least tell you that my “treatment” so far has not been. The NHS is great, they provide so much care and support for me, it’s like having a legal drug dealer lol. The compassion of the nurses who are so overworked and underfunded is inspiring and I hope that Britain protects its health care system to its dying breath. It’s not great, obviously, dying, but I’ve spent the last year just visiting my friends, playing all those video games I never had time for because of work, and spending time with my family. It’s been really nice. Like being on holiday almost. Also because I didn’t go through chemo I’ve still got my ultra great head of hair. It’s actually really important to me that you, random person reading this, know that my hair was fucking sweet. Naturally thick and curly. I didn’t know that other people had to curl their hair, that’s how privileged I was. Know that I’m entirely unapologetic about bragging about this. I also had a cracking set of boobs. The gods would weep.

My point is that while this “journey” has obviously been quite dark and sad and I know that darker and sadder times are ahead of me... I’ve done okay. I’ve enjoyed myself. I listened to the rain and found all the damn Zelda shrines and I spent time with people who love me. I’ve given myself nice things and had a nice time with others. But it’s hard to figure out how to tell people that you’re dying. I don’t look sick so I have the added pleasure of having to tell a friend that I’m dead when I look perfectly fine. It’s harder still to account for places like this. Places where people know you solely online. I wonder if someone reading this thinks that I am joking. Kinda hard to verify to be fair. But this account will go silent at some point so this is a good-bye regardless of whether or not you believe me. (Regardless! The title of that fic I never finished! Maybe I should have. That was a fun thing to write.) 

There’s that tumblr comic about ghosts on the internet, a person reflecting on how a dead person’s internet accounts do not get deleted and stay hanging there quietly. I don’t think I will delete this account. I might perhaps give the login to someone else so it can be deleted a little later on but I don't know for sure. But I want to offer some closure about where I have gone, even if its just to one person. So if you’re reading this, I’m dead. Or I’m likely close to death. I will schedule this for a few months from now, and if I reach that point and I still feel okay, I will push it back a few more months. I hope I will get to do this at least once. And you might be wondering, person online, why I did not tell you this while I was still breathing. Maybe you would have had something to say. Hell, maybe I’ll change my mind and I’ll share the secret. But if I don't, know that I am not suffering and that I am not struggling for avenues to express myself. I just didn’t know how to do it is all. I’m sorry to leave you with feelings that may be hard to work through. I am sorry. I do not want to leave. But I am. And I’m protective over the time I have while I am not dying. I’ve used tumblr less since my diagnosis but I like my casual scroll-throughs on a morning. People make a lot of fun content. It’s nice to see. I got tumblr mostly for my hockey fandom (Stars represent!) and I’m happy to say that my interactions on here have nearly almost always been positive, I’ve made some great friendships. Many of them have been fleeting but beautiful in that regard. Like maybe there’s that one person on the bus who you’ve never spoken to but you always smile at and when something weird happens, you share a quiet look over your newspapers. I like things like that. And there’s a lot of that on tumblr. 

Funnily enough, when you find out that you’re dying, you just want to be nice. Not in a “oh shit I need to cram for heaven” kinda way, but it’s like. If I told you that your meeting with a friend was going to be your last one and that you’d never see them again, you’d tell them that you loved them. When the clock is ticking, you just want to put good things out into the world. So person online, know that I want you to be okay. I want you to feel unapologetic about telling a creep to fuck off. I want you to know that you deserve kindness and good things without any guilt. I don’t want you to have to spend your whole damn life working. I want you to be able to eat bread and butter slowly and enjoy the peace that you have. I hope that you always find the good fics. I hope that you don’t feel embarrassed about your face without make up because its just your face and even if it takes you a super long time I hope that you’ll learn that it doesn’t look bad. I want you to know that your own company is not a punishment and that its far better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t treat you right. I want you to buy yourself something nice this week, if you can. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. (Selfishly, if this is you, I want you to get over your obsession with calling dogs and puppies “doggos and puppers” because that’s fucking annoying as shit. But then again, it’s perfectly harmless and I’m dead after all, so do what you like.)

My point is that I have a met a lot of cool people through tumblr, fellow hockey fans, fellow readers and writers, and as such my feelings on this site are substantial enough that I feel like my time here warrants a final bow. Or a final shrug of my shoulders as I quietly depart, perhaps only noticed by a handful of people. Which is fine. I’ve realised that most exits in life are only observed by a few people. I’m sad to go. I can’t pretend to be at peace with this. But I had fun. And a lot of you helped with that. So thank you. I hope that you’re okay. 

xxxxx

_

If you are reading this and you are a complete stranger who found themselves at my page through a gifset or otherwise, then hello. I know realistically that a lot of the content on the internet was made by people who are no longer around but it’s weird to confront it in reality. I hope you’re doing well. 

If you are reading this and you think that you might know me in real life, please do not go through my tumblr and do not share your suspicion with others. While my many posts in which I call Tyler Seguin a slut and do various other cringey things are... there, I quite enjoyed the privacy I had here. I did not tell people about my tumblr account for a reason. Please respect my privacy. Consider it my dying wish. 

[slysfreespeechspace]

Fragile Genderists Devastated by Dress-Wearing Jaden Smith

According to TRA Theory, Jaden Smith has been going around raiding trans women's closets. Just read this entitled editorial for an explanation.

"People like Jaden are starting to wear the trans uniform without actually stating that they are transgender, and they’re claiming it for themselves under the guise of gender-neutral fashion."

So now dresses are a "trans uniform."

Jaden Smith is not transgender. Why would he state that he was? He's a young adult male. He is male regardless of what he is wearing.

The genderist article gets worse.

"...whoever knew that they (Louis Vuitton) were actually selling womenswear for men?"

They're not. They're selling articles of clothing and accessories generally utilized by women. However, there is no rule stating that men cannot also utilize these items.

"Jaden seems to be up for this gender-neutral, equal clothing rights thing which allows men to wear women’s clothes without any fear of ridicule."

The more I read of this entitled mess, the more I started to wonder if it was a parody. Alas, I fear this is not the case. The author seems deadly serious about enforcing rigid rules regarding WOMEN'S CLOTHES.

By the way, I'm wondering why WOMEN'S CLOTHES are the "trans uniform." Why are MEN'S CLOTHES not the "trans uniform?" Would not trans men prefer traditionally masculine clothing? Once again, TRAs erase trans men from the equation. Why is the author not in a tizzy about Jaden's girlfriend wearing MEN'S CLOTHES?

Is the girlfriend not stealing the TRANS UNIFORM for trans men by wearing MEN'S CLOTHES? Why does the author not care about trans men's uniforms?

"There’s a reason why men wear men’s clothes and women wear women’s clothes, and why they are generally so different.  OK, I know women have been wearing trousers for decades but they’re usually a femme version of the male equivalent - and I’m not talking about unisex clothes like jeans and t-shirts."

Trousers for women are cut to fit the female body--imagine that! It isn't a "uniform" for women. Any clothing manufacturer who refuses to acknowledge that men's and women's bodies are shaped differently isn't doing their job. Women tend to have wider hips and bigger butts and thighs than men, which is why "unisex scrubs" are so annoying for women who have curvier bodies. Unisex scrubs are scrubs cut for men, but thinner women can wear them. Some women can wear pants cut for men. Most women, however, require a different cut for their trousers than the cut that works for the average man.

I never went shopping for trousers and said to myself upon finding a pair that I liked:

"Well! There's the 'femme version' of an article of MEN'S CLOTHING. We women should not be wearing MEN'S CLOTHING because we are supposed to be wearing dresses. But it's okay, as long as the trousers are 'femme coded' or some such horseshit."

No!

What I thought was:

"These might fit."

"Stereotypically, men wear trousers and women wear dresses and skirts.  That’s the ‘norm’ and it’s more than that – it’s a uniform."

The 1950s called. They want their dress codes back.

"When you get out of bed in the morning the most important thing you have to do all day is tell the world what your gender is, because from that, everything else flows."

When you're this fucking obsessed with your gender, the most important thing you have to do all day is to examine why the fuck you are this obsessed with your gender.

Upon getting out of bed in the morning, the most important thing I have to do all day is to go to the bathroom so I don't piss myself. The next most important thing I have to do all day is to take my medications and eat breakfast. The next most important thing I have to do all day is to make sure I have clothes on because it's generally frowned upon in the United States to walk around the street naked. The next most important thing after that is to attend to whatever tasks I have at hand for the day so I can contribute to my household in various fashions.

Not once--never once--do I consider the "need" to "tell the world what my gender is."

From waking up alive, everything else flows. Not from assuring the world that "man, I feel like a woman!"

This sort of rigid genderism is the kind of oppressive crap that radical feminists have been fighting against for decades. People like the author of this article are trying very damn hard to set things back decades.

"Deep down your real job is to reproduce, and showing other humans your gender is the first step on that path."

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Did I mention NO? World, galaxy, and Universe of NO!

My "real job" is not to reproduce. Also, how is this bullshit not counter to the TRA assertion that one is the gender they say they are just by saying it? Trans women are biologically men. If their "real job" was so important to them, would they not be driven to look as stereotypically masculine as possible so that women would be attracted to them and want to reproduce with them?

Trans women are hoping to look like women. If we are going with the whole "everything is making babies" screed, a woman-presenting person is hoping to attract a man with whom to reproduce. But trans women do not have female reproductive organs. Therefore, if a trans woman hopes to reproduce and still possesses male reproductive organs, she will have to reproduce either with a trans man who still possesses female reproductive organs or a biological woman.

So, is the author saying that trans people are shirking their REAL JOB duties because they are presenting as the opposite sex and therefore will attract the wrong sex to reproduce with? I really don't think the author thought about anything but their outrage at Jaden Smith wearing a dress and tried to make that outrage sound legit because somehow Jaden Smith in a dress is the equivalent of taking away the "TRANS UNIFORM", which consists of stereotypically feminine clothes. Whatever, let's move on.

"So, to help make it plain for anyone to see which gender you are, you put on a uniform.  Men put on trousers and have men’s haircuts, and women put on dresses and skirts, feminine tops and tights and women’s shoes to show their femininity and declare to the world that they are female."

Both of the people in the picture above are women. They are female. The one on the left has a more traditionally feminine haircut. The one on the right has a short, "masculine" hairstyle. Both are still equally female. The number of XX or XY chromosomes in a person's body does not increase or decrease with the length of their hair.

Lea Delaria, the woman on the right, is not a trans man. She is a butch lesbian. Who, apparently, is shirking her "real job" of reproducing by desiring a sexual and romantic relationship with another woman. However, we don't care about trans men anyway. There are no scathing articles about women like Delaria stealing their "uniforms."

"They have women’s hair-dos and they put use cosmetics to make themselves look nicer and more presentable and to reinforce the female uniform a bit more."

I haven't worn cosmetics in twenty years. I have long, wavy hair, which I guess is a "women's hairdo." So, I guess Peter Steele and I are both women. Our hair is a similar length and texture.

The late Peter Steele, a 6' 7" icon of femininity

"So, when some people come along and want equal clothing rights, that upsets the apple cart a bit."

The late David Bowie, professional apple-cart tipper

"Male-to-female transgender people rely on props like clothes, shoes, make-up and hairstyles to create the gender identity they want to portray to the world because most of the time their bodies alone are unable to do that.  There are a few lucky ones who don’t have to do a thing to put across a female persona, but most trans women have to work hard at it."

Fine, but how the actual fuck does Jaden Smith in a dress stop you from doing that?

You better take off that dress and eyeliner, Kurt Cobain! You are stealing the TRANS UNIFORM looking as womanly as you do, and not at all like, you know, a man in a dress wearing eyeliner.

"The danger for trans women is that if wearing what are traditionally women’s clothes becomes the norm for men too, then trans women will no longer be able to rely on these props to help them display a female gender identity - and for many, that could be a serious problem."

If your gender identity is so fragile that Jaden Smith in a dress threatens to overturn your apple cart, you need to be discussing that with a psychologist.

Woman is not a costume that one puts on. One either is or is not a woman. So, if we are to buy into the TRA screed that "trans women are women," why are they not women regardless of what they--or Jaden Smith--is wearing? Why is their gender identity so fragile that it is fractured by a man in a dress?

You better take off that dress now, Prince! How dare you rob fragile genderists of their gender identity?

"But trans people should be aware that well-known faces like Jaden Smith are starting to encroach on our territory.  They’re starting to wear the trans uniform without actually stating that they are transgender, and they’re claiming it for themselves under the guise of gender-neutral fashion. All of which begs the question: where does that leave us?"

It once again begs the question WHY DOES WHAT JADEN SMITH IS WEARING MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOUR GENDER IDENTITY?

Further, why should Jaden Smith state that he is transgender? He isn't. He is a young adult male.

I don't think Jaden has said even once "all the dresses are mine!" Jaden isn't wearing your dresses, he's wearing his dresses.

Why does it have to leave you anywhere but where you are? No-one is stopping you from wearing a dress or putting on makeup. Rather than ranting at Jaden Smith for stealing the "TRANS UNIFORM," perhaps you need to take a moment to reflect on why your gender identity is so precarious that he needs to be prevented from wearing dresses just in case it might make your gender identity feel threatened.

Biological women should also never refer to such issues as menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause because these are things that also upset the apple carts of fragile genderists.

Fuck right off with this shit.

~Sly Has Spoken~

[gothwarlocks]

I wonder which one of your OCs is your favourite/has the most developed story? You can share some random facts about them too, I love reading about your babes ☻

dkfjash you are so sweet wth thank you!!!! 🥺😭😭💞💞💞 please tell me about your OCs too, I love their designs sm!!!

I’m sure everyone can tell that it’s a tie between Valen’tin, Lev’rani, and Andras. I talk a lot about my Twi’lek Men the most because I do love them lots and they give me the absolute most serotonin, so I’d like to actually take a turn to talk about Andras. If anything sounds a little jumbled my bad, I’m actually just squishing a bunch of notes I have on them together lol.

I doubt I talk about anything too at length to do any harm but to be safe:

TW (all mentions of these things, no images): suicide, eugenics, dismemberment, psychological abuse, some specifically transgender-related abuse/discussion

Here’s some notes I have on a significant event from their past.

(At the time, “Lord Andras”) Darth Atrox’s vile and abusive mother who valued Sith (species) blood purity and Imperial eugenics programs spearheaded a number of research initiatives in that field as a Darth in the Sphere of Biotic Science. She would eventually cut off Atrox’s left hand as they engaged in their final duel (Andras is in their early 20s at this point).

It’s doubly symbolic because:

1. Andras initiates the fight with the intent to murder their mother (with their lightsaber which they hold with their left hand, the hand of glory is among my favorite gothic symbols/imagery), who is absolutely volatile and deteriorating at that point, and because

2. Purebloods are naturally predisposed to left-handedness and that orientation is inherently weaved into their culture, so it’s their mother essentially saying they are no longer “one of us” for not upholding and directly undermining their genetic superiority (and I mean, she explicitly says it to them, but the action carries that meaning at well). This is heavy considering she altered Andras while having been pregnant with them, genetically modifying them for traits she found favorable and removing undesirable ones (y’know, eugenics), which Andras still struggles to reconcile with.

Their mother ultimately ends her own life in the duel to rob them of the satisfaction of committing the act by their own hand. Andras realizes this and unleashes their force lightning upon her corpse, which I imagine in their unfiltered rage and grief they release from both their intact hand and their severed hand’s arm stump for minutes, wounding it beyond repair and rendering reattachment impossible.

They had a cybernetic left hand/forearm constructed to replace the lost limb and used tattoo ink to black out their arm from the severed point to their elbow to cover the lightning burn scars they sustained from that deed. This is mainly for aesthetic purposes. The blackout tattoo turns into an intricate sleeve that ends at their shoulder.

Other bits about the aforementioned event and their life that reflect why they’re the way they are:

I headcanon that their Darth title is an old Sith word for something monstrous and wretched. Really it’s just the Latin root for “atrocious/atrocity”. But basically after their mother dies, they are anointed as a Darth and there’s a lot of gossip saying that the envious and inferior Andras did everything willingly to their mother, a respected and valued scientist. Their friend, Lord Azmodai at the time (it’s Verentis) encouraged them to roll with it and just adopt the word some of the Pureblood Sith have been calling them. So that’s where they get their Darth title.

Going back in time again: Their mother allowed them to change their presentation and pronouns when they came forward about their gender identity (in their mid-teens) out of respect for its ties to Sith culture, but that was the extent of it. Their mother strictly forbade them from pursuing anything permanent/medical, specifying that if they had their reproductive organs tampered with she would kill them herself (because of course, she valued those genes that she worked so hard on). Andras of course makes all their desired transition choices after her death, so it's not all gloom and doom. Sometimes your abuser just has to die!

I headcanon a little bit here, but: I imagine the ancient culture of the Sith allowed for a myriad of gender identities and expressions so long social castes and order was respected. Andras discovers this in their research of their people and everything suddenly clicked. Their gender identity is suddenly so much more tangible in their mind, knowing it’s an experience commonly lived by their ancestors. I don’t believe LGBTQ+ identities don’t exist in current Imp space (bro, space is gay), but it’s clear that non-Human cultures and practices aren’t always taken into consideration. There are normally no words in Basic to properly describe their gender, but there are in High Sith! This is a formative and healing experience for them.

I'm obsessed with Force ghosts and how they appear to people as they wish to be remembered (as per Darth Marr’s words). That means there’s gotta be infinite ways that dead Jedi and Sith present themselves when they manifest, right? Vengeful or sexy Jedi ghosts! Benevolent, beautiful Sith ghosts! Anyway, Andras’ mother appears to them (haunts them, really) every once in a while as a charred, bloodied corpse like a receipt of their transgressions made manifest and because she was truly wicked and her dying wish and only motive in the Force afterlife is to retraumatize Andras whenever she can because she knows that in death she no longer holds any power over them <3

Although appearances can be very misleading, Andras is ultimately a Light-sided Sith and with the whole inquisition (haha) that the Sith lead to weed out Light-siders they are pretty hush-hush about it. That being said they often lend their aid to fellow like-minded Sith, like a benefactor. They believe their ideology is superior and inherently less cancerous to the Empire than true Dark Side adherents. They (along with Verentis) tend to help Light Sith connect with acolytes that would otherwise be executed for “weakness” or “flawed ideology”, or altogether help those acolytes escape into neutral territories (like they did with Zaleos, my sentinel). That’s why Andras, their closest contacts and confidants, and their apprentices are all neutral or Light-siders.

[harrypotterfirsttime]

JK Rowling’s essay about why she’s a TERF: Abbreviated

My last post was LONG, much longer than I’d intended, and difficult to read on tumblr I’m sure (if anybody would like it sent as a pdf please let me know). So I’m making a shorter post and only including the paragraphs that I responded to with links to a source, for people who are more interested in the places where JK Rowling provably lied in her essay.

“For people who don’t know: last December I tweeted my support for Maya Forstater, a tax specialist who’d lost her job for what were deemed ‘transphobic’ tweets. She took her case to an employment tribunal, asking the judge to rule on whether a philosophical belief that sex is determined by biology is protected in law. Judge Tayler ruled that it wasn’t.”

First of all, Maya didn’t lose her job. Her contract was simply not renewed by her workplace, something that she was not entitled to under any law. JK Rowling also continues to falsely assert that Maya’s belief was that ‘sex is determined biology’, when she actually asserted that under no circumstances is a trans woman a woman nor a trans man a man, and the judge ruled that it did not fit all five necessary limbs to be a philosophical belief (it actually only failed the last one). The judge ruled that the ‘under no circumstances’ part of her assertion was absolutist, and that is what ultimately failed the fifth limb. [source]

“All the time I’ve been researching and learning, accusations and threats from trans activists have been bubbling in my Twitter timeline. This was initially triggered by a ‘like’. When I started taking an interest in gender identity and transgender matters, I began screenshotting comments that interested me, as a way of reminding myself what I might want to research later. On one occasion, I absent-mindedly ‘liked’ instead of screenshotting. That single ‘like’ was deemed evidence of wrongthink, and a persistent low level of harassment began.”

First off, this goes against the statement a spokesperson made for her when this happened, stating that she had a ‘clumsy middle-aged moment’ and liked the tweet by ‘holding her phone incorrectly’. The tweet she liked also had no content that she could research, it was a baseless claim that men in dresses get more solidarity than cis women (which I won’t even dive into, we have so much more to cover). [source] I also won’t dive into the use of ‘wrongthink’ as if we are all characters in George Orwell’s 1984, simply because nobody is controlling her speech, she is simply facing consequences for the shit she chooses to fling at the wall.

“I mention all this only to explain that I knew perfectly well what was going to happen when I supported Maya. I must have been on my fourth or fifth cancellation by then. I expected the threats of violence, to be told I was literally killing trans people with my hate, to be called cunt and bitch and, of course, for my books to be burned, although one particularly abusive man told me he’d composted them.”

Can we salute the man who decided to tell JK Rowling that he composted her books, because that’s absolutely hilarious. But really, I just want to point out that no matter how many threats of violence JK Rowling thinks she is getting, transgender people are subjected to much more abuse both online and in real life, and it affects their wellbeing much more directly than simply being called a cunt or a bitch on twitter. [source] While JK Rowling thankfully isn’t killing trans people, she’s disappointing so many of her LGBT+ fans who looked up to her and found comfort during their childhood in her books that encouraged people to be brave and be themselves.

“What I didn’t expect in the aftermath of my cancellation was the avalanche of emails and letters that came showering down upon me, the overwhelming majority of which were positive, grateful and supportive. They came from a cross-section of kind, empathetic and intelligent people, some of them working in fields dealing with gender dysphoria and trans people, who’re all deeply concerned about the way a socio-political concept is influencing politics, medical practice and safeguarding. They’re worried about the dangers to young people, gay people and about the erosion of women’s and girl’s rights. Above all, they’re worried about a climate of fear that serves nobody – least of all trans youth – well.”

I’ll tackle this paragraph from top to bottom. Firstly, the reason you believe the overwhemling majority of people supported you is because many of those who don’t (myself included, until now) simply rolled their eyes and ignored you, because you are not worth our time. We have lives to live that are unconcerned with your bigotry. Second, I hope those people who were working in fields dealing with gender dysphoria and trans people have since left their jobs, because they have no business serving a community who they secretly harbour unsupportive ideologies about. And finally, the idea of supporting and helping trans people (specifically trans youth) is DANGEROUS to young people, gay people, and women’s and girls’ rights is simply false. No women’s rights have been repealed in favour of trans people’s rights (mainly because trans women continue to shockingly be women). In fact, trans youth with parents who are very supportive and affirming show a statistically significantly lower rate of both depressive symptoms and suicide attempts. [source] [specific graph]

“If you didn’t already know – and why should you? – ‘TERF’ is an acronym coined by trans activists, which stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. In practice, a huge and diverse cross-section of women are currently being called TERFs and the vast majority have never been radical feminists. Examples of so-called TERFs range from the mother of a gay child who was afraid their child wanted to transition to escape homophobic bullying, to a hitherto totally unfeminist older lady who’s vowed never to visit Marks & Spencer again because they’re allowing any man who says they identify as a woman into the women’s changing rooms. Ironically, radical feminists aren’t even trans-exclusionary – they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women.”

The first two sentences in this paragraph are true. Viv Smythe, a trans inclusive cis radfem, is credited with coining the term TERF to describe her fellow radical feminists who are ‘unwilling to recognize trans women as sisters’. It has also become widely used to describe feminists who exclude trans women from their feminism, even if they are not radfems. [source] I don’t care about who has been called a TERF, all I need to know is that they are transphobes, which they should feel equally disgusted at the fact their behaviour warrants the label. Trans men do not want to be included in radical feminism because we were ‘born women’, and JK Rowling including this as if it is an excuse is appalling. Trans men are not women, therefore we do not appreciate radfems claiming to support us based on their obsession with what genitals we were born with.

“The fourth is where things start to get truly personal. I’m concerned about the huge explosion in young women wishing to transition and also about the increasing numbers who seem to be detransitioning (returning to their original sex), because they regret taking steps that have, in some cases, altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility. Some say they decided to transition after realising they were same-sex attracted, and that transitioning was partly driven by homophobia, either in society or in their families.”

There is a lot to unpack in this paragraph. And I don’t have the room in this already much too long post to dive into detransitioning, so I’ll say this: it sucks that some people transition only to realize they shouldn’t have. But these people are a staggering minority of people who do transition, and there is no external person they can blame for believing them when they relay their symptoms (as doctors are supposed to do) and acting accordingly, with the patient’s consent. The issues I have here are the language JK Rowling uses to say young women are transitioning, purposefully misgendering trans masculine people. And implying that people are transitioning because they are gay, because their families or society push them to not be gay and instead transition, is absolutely laughable. Studies have already shown that society as a whole is much less accepting of transgender people than they are of gay people and lesbians. [source]

“Most people probably aren’t aware – I certainly wasn’t, until I started researching this issue properly – that ten years ago, the majority of people wanting to transition to the opposite sex were male. That ratio has now reversed. The UK has experienced a 4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment. Autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in their numbers.”

There are a number of factors that could have led to such an increase in referrals, and no studies have a definitive answer, though most speculate that the increase in acceptance and visibility of trans people is likely a major contributor. [source] Additionally, I personally believe that more trans women seeked transition years ago because it was impossible to be accepted as a trans woman without fully medically transitioning, whereas trans men could get by without transitioning and simply presenting as their gender. Now that transition is more acceptable and available, trans men do not need to hold themselves back from transitioning, but unfortunately, with more visibility has come more vitriol that is specifically aimed at trans women, and this could discourage them from transitioning or coming out at all. I won’t dignify the statement about autism in afab trans people being prevalent other than saying that cis people can be autistic, trans people can be autistic, and implying that neuro-atypical people cannot make informed decisions about their bodies and healthcare is abhorrent.

“The same phenomenon has been seen in the US. In 2018,  American physician and researcher Lisa Littman set out to explore it. In an interview, she said:

‘Parents online were describing a very unusual pattern of transgender-identification where multiple friends and even entire friend groups became transgender-identified at the same time. I would have been remiss had I not considered social contagion and peer influences as potential factors.’

Littman mentioned Tumblr, Reddit, Instagram and YouTube as contributing factors to Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, where she believes that in the realm of transgender identification ‘youth have created particularly insular echo chambers.’”

Lisa Littman’s study can be read here. There are a multitude of issues with this study, and many big names in psychology and gender studies have spoken up about the issues in her conclusions and in the methods to begin with, which are unscientific and deeply flawed. [source] The biggest flaw, in my opinion, is that the study interviews parents of trans youth as opposed to the trans youth themselves, and takes the parents’ limited knowledge of their child’s inner thoughts and experience as fact without consulting the trans person at all. Additionally, recruitment for the study was mainly done through anti-trans organizations. All of this information is available in the original study and in the rebuttal. Because of this, I cannot take anybody who cites Lisa Littman or her study seriously, because it is not credible whatsoever.

“When I read about the theory of gender identity, I remember how mentally sexless I felt in youth. I remember Colette’s description of herself as a ‘mental hermaphrodite’ and Simone de Beauvoir’s words: ‘It is perfectly natural for the future woman to feel indignant at the limitations posed upon her by her sex. The real question is not why she should reject them: the problem is rather to understand why she accepts them.’”

More people than JK Rowling is probably aware of feel ‘mentally sexless’ in youth, because they have no crippling discomfort regarding their gender identity, and either do not feel pressure to prescribe to gender stereotypical behaviours or actively rebel against it. According to brain studies, everyone is technically a ‘mental hermaphrodite’ because there remains to be no such thing as a male brain or female brain. [source]

“I want to be very clear here: I know transition will be a solution for some gender dysphoric people, although I’m also aware through extensive research that studies have consistently shown that between 60-90% of gender dysphoric teens will grow out of their dysphoria. Again and again I’ve been told to ‘just meet some trans people.’ I have: in addition to a few younger people, who were all adorable, I happen to know a self-described transsexual woman who’s older than I am and wonderful. Although she’s open about her past as a gay man, I’ve always found it hard to think of her as anything other than a woman, and I believe (and certainly hope) she’s completely happy to have transitioned. Being older, though, she went through a long and rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation. The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass. A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law. Many people aren’t aware of this.”

First of all, the number of kids who “desist” from their gender dysphoria are not reliable. Mainly because the methods in these studies are not robust (ie one study defined gender dysphoria as exhibiting any behaviour that was not typical of their gender, such as boys playing with barbies and girls playing with monster trucks; another study classified subjects that did not return to the clinic and did not follow up as desisters without confirming). [source] Additionally, studying children who do exhibit true gender dysphoria, the main factor determining whether it will persist or desist seems to be the intensity, and not at all related to peer relations. [source] Trans people wishing to transition medically may no longer need to subject themselves to extensive and unnecessary therapy to convince medical professionals that they are who they say they are, but they still need to wait on very long lists for our turn to access hormone replacement therapy and surgeries, and can spend all of that time being sure that we are indeed trans and want these medical treatments. JK Rowling is also purposefully misreporting facts in regard to Gender Recognition Certificates. In order to get one, one must be over 18, have lived as their true gender for at least 2 full years, and provide two medical reports (one from a gender specialist and another from a general practitioner) citing that they have gender dysphoria. If they have not had any medical transitional treatments, the medical reports must state whether they are waiting for them or why they are not pursuing any, in direct contradiction of JK Rowling’s assertion that any man can get this certificate. [source]

“I believe the majority of trans-identified people not only pose zero threat to others, but are vulnerable for all the reasons I’ve outlined. Trans people need and deserve protection. Like women, they’re most likely to be killed by sexual partners. Trans women who work in the sex industry, particularly trans women of colour, are at particular risk. Like every other domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor I know, I feel nothing but empathy and solidarity with trans women who’ve been abused by men.

So I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.”

‘Natal girls and women’ is another transphobic dog whistle. There is a non-offensive way to say this, which I am sure if JK Rowling has done all the reading she has claimed to do, she must have stumbled upon the word ‘cisgender’ at some point. It effectively communicates the same information without alienating trans people and implying they are less than cis women. Trans women are not ‘men who believe or feel like women’, and this long standing myth that cis men will use the guise of being a trans woman to gain access to public bathrooms and changerooms has been thoroughly debunked, because trans women have been using women’s bathrooms and changerooms for years with no issues. [source] And scroll up for the claim that Gender Confirmation Certificates are given out to any man who decides to be a woman for a day above, this is just more misinformation, no ‘simple truth’.

“On Saturday morning, I read that the Scottish government is proceeding with its controversial gender recognition plans, which will in effect mean that all a man needs to ‘become a woman’ is to say he’s one. To use a very contemporary word, I was ‘triggered’. Ground down by the relentless attacks from trans activists on social media, when I was only there to give children feedback about pictures they’d drawn for my book under lockdown, I spent much of Saturday in a very dark place inside my head, as memories of a serious sexual assault I suffered in my twenties recurred on a loop. That assault happened at a time and in a space where I was vulnerable, and a man capitalised on an opportunity.  I couldn’t shut out those memories and I was finding it hard to contain my anger and disappointment about the way I believe my government is playing fast and loose with womens and girls’ safety.”

First of all, JK Rowling is blatantly lying. The Gender Recognition Act Reform has been completely shelved by the Scottish government in light if the more pressing need to fight the coronavirus on April 1st, and I cannot find any updates on this being considered by the government. [source] The only trans related news out of Scotland I can find is that on June 5th, the Scottish government included trans women in the definition of women in guidance for school boards, which will have none of the effects that JK Rowling is fear mongering about. [source] Again, I am upset to know that JK Rowling is a survivor, but she is using this revelation as a weapon to make people fear that it will happen to others as a result of trans people gaining access to the same public spaces as their cis counterparts. Women’s and girls’ safety is NOT being put at risk by trans people using a bathroom or changeroom.

[topmodelsmag]

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Supermodel Lais Ribeiro talks passion and purpose.

Embroidered dress, $13,900, and embroidered dress with swan print, $5,500, both at Burberry Luxury District; Samira hoops, $650, and Stripe ring, $200, both at Jennifer Fisher; L’Arc de Davidor ring GM with Palais diamonds, $11,050, at L’Arc de Davidor

Lais Ribeiro is one of the most hardworking models on the planet. She’s walked countless runways (Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, among others) and has been photographed for high-fashion glossies all over the world. But today, she’s laughing and chatting with me about her 11-year-old son Alexandre’s obsession with TikTok and her deep love of guacamole. She’s got that kind of pure and genuine energy that is infectious—the kind of energy that just makes you want to become her best friend. And after speaking with her for only a few minutes, it becomes very clear to me why her success has lasted more than a decade. Sure, she has the face and body of a goddess, but it’s her attitude of gratitude that has given her career such longevity. A lot of that, she says, she owes to becoming a mother in 2008, when she was just 18 years old. “I’m thankful that I was a mom before I started modeling,” she says. “I have so many things going on, but he makes me feel grounded and has given me a purpose in life. I’m doing this for him. I want him to be proud of me and I want to give him the best life possible.”

Tulle dress, tulle top, silk belt and wool and silk pants, all price upon request, at Louis Vuitton, Luxury District; Arya sandals, price upon request, at Giuseppe Zanotti, Luxury District; Curb Chain necklace, $17,500, at David Yurman, Bal Harbour Shops.

A year after giving birth to her son, Ribeiro was studying to become a nurse in her hometown of Miguel Alves in the northeast region of Brazil. But little did she know that her studies were about to be put on hold—indefinitely. Ribeiro was chosen by modeling scouts to walk in the Sao Paulo and Rio Fashion Week runways, and from there it was straight to New York Fashion Week. She relocated to New York City in 2009 to pursue what would become a very successful modeling career. “It was tough,” she says of being away from her son. “We spent five years separated because I was just starting out and I didn’t have the setup to have him here [in NYC], so he had to stay with my family in Brazil,” she says. “When I brought him here, it was one of the happiest days of my life.”

Pajama suit jacket, $2,290, pajama suit pants, $1,190, and sheepskin mules, $895, all at Balenciaga, Design District.

These days life is pure bliss for Ribeiro, who is in the midst of planning her upcoming nuptials to fiance and NBA baller Joakim Noah. (They’ll tie the knot in Brazil this summer. “It’ll be a party!” she promises.) But Ribeiro is also working toward a cause that’s very close to her heart. In 2013, her son was diagnosed with autism, and she’s made it her goal to use her platform to raise awareness and compassion. Because, as she tells me during our chat, her most important job is being a mother. Here, Ribeiro shares her inspiring journey to success, and how she finds balance as a supermodel and a supermom.

Mesh embroidered caftan, price upon request, at Mary Katrantzou; Bebe sandals, $995, at Giuseppe Zanotti, Brickell City Centre; Triangle earring 30, $758, by Shihara at The Webster, South Beach; Diagonal Stripe ring, $295, at Jennifer Fisher.

Tell us about your hometown of Miguel Alves in Brazil.

I am in love with Brazil. I grew up by the river. We don’t have a beach in my hometown. Still to this day I take Alexandre there. We do fires by the river, and we fish with family and my best friends who I grew up with. I try to go back twice a year.

Take us back to the beginning of your modeling career. What was your first big break?

I was going to school to be a nurse. But a friend of mine was a model and told me about a contest they were doing in Sao Paulo. I didn’t think I had a chance because in the north, the [models] were very tall and thin. I didn’t think they’d be interested in Brazilians. But my friend insisted, and then the scouters from Sao Paulo came down [to my hometown] and chose me. Everything happened really fast. I stayed in Sao Paulo for three months. It was tough, because I had already had my kid. I was about to go back home and continue school, but then Fashion Week happened in Sao Paulo and Rio in Brazil. Scouters from New York came to Sao Paulo and they liked me, so I came to New York in 2009. My first job in NYC was Fashion Week, but campaignwise, it was Gap. I remember there was a big Gap store in Union Square, and I saw my face on the windows. I would pass by all the time just to see it because I couldn’t believe it. It was pretty cool.

DNA Spiral maxi dress, $1,250, at Off-White; pumps, $970, at Bottega Veneta, Luxury District; Stripe band pinky ring, $200, and Stripe band ring, $200, both at Jennifer Fisher.

What’s it like to balance your modeling career with motherhood?

I thank God I’m traveling less now. It’s still a little complicated, but he understands that Mama is working hard for the future and he’s proud. I miss him a lot when I travel, but it’s always so good to come home to him. He’s always so happy. He’s a very special one.

You also opened up on Instagram about his autism diagnosis. April is Autism Awareness Month. How can we get involved?

I always wanted to be involved with a charity that made sense for me, and I am working with my agency to put something together to use my voice for a good cause, especially because of my son. We have to understand more of what their needs are. I have to understand more. That’s why we’re trying to put something together and work closely with a charity that brings awareness to everyone. It’s in the process.

You have more than 2 million followers on Instagram. What’s it like to share such a big moment with so many people?

It’s crazy. Technology and Instagram play a very big role in our lives, and it can be good for us to have a voice. I try to post pictures of natural moments, not only professional moments, because I want people to know me, my personality, that I have a son, that I work, that I have fun. I think it’s pretty cool that we can inspire people to do good things. But it can also consume a lot of our time, so I try to balance that.

Denim jacket, $995, and striped blouse, $2,350, both at Versace, Design District.

There are a lot of changes happening in the fashion industry since you started modeling in 2009. How do you think the industry is changing for the better?

The industry is slowly learning and changing its perspective of beauty and being more inclusive and diverse. And that makes me really happy. Before it was straightforward. It had to be one way. It’s good for people to see and relate to the people who are in the campaign. I think what’s happening now in the industry is great.

What’s been your favorite experience in your career?

It actually just happened. I filmed a reality TV show in Brazil and it’s about diversity. It’s called Born to Fashion. It’s the same concept of America’s Next Top Model, but with transgender models. It was really beautiful to learn their stories and their struggles. It’s the first TV show in Brazil that’s giving them a voice and allowing them to express themselves and open people’s minds. I’m really excited for that. It’s airing in Brazil this May.

Who is somebody who you want to work with who you haven’t collaborated with yet?

Oh my gosh—there are so many! I was never a makeup girl, but lately I’ve been getting into it. I’ve been doing makeup tutorials on YouTube. I did one recently that was a Carnival look. But during fashion shows, I would always sit in Pat McGrath’s chair and she would do makeup so well. I would love to have a collaboration with her.

Dress, $14,900, at Valentino, Design District; Berry heels, $625, by Pyer Moss x Aurora James at Pyer Moss; necklace, $6,500, at Bottega Veneta, Design District; L’Arc de Davidor ring MM with cognac lacquered ceramic, $1,800, and L’Arc de Davidor ring GM in cognac lacquered ceramic, $2,750, both at L’Arc de Davidor.

How do you prep for a big shoot?

I think being in front of the camera is something that we get used to. As a new face, you’re a little scared. You just have to find yourself—you have to find your confidence and be aware of the people around you. As a model you have to be at peace with yourself and everything else will follow. And skincare is important...

Yes, and your skin is so flawless. How can we achieve that glow?

I use cleansers because I wear a lot of makeup all the time for work. And I love Clarins Hydra-Essentiel lotion. I use it every single day, every time I’m getting out of the shower. And I do the sauna every day as well. It’s really good for the skin, and it’s good for stress and sleeping—everything. And the sun is good for the skin. Be tan!

What does your fitness routine look like?

My favorite workout is Pilates. (I do not like to run!) I love Pilates because it engages every single muscle of your body. I also lift weights here and there, and I train with my fiance. He’s pushing me. It’s been really good to see how focused he is because he’s an athlete. It excites me and I want to do the same. And I love boxing because you have to be present and you don’t think about anything else. You’re just there.

Diamante sleeveless dress, $1,790, and crystal harness, $690, both at JW Anderson; sandals, price upon request, by Kenzo at Neiman Marcus, Bal Harbour Shops; L’Arc de Davidor ring GM with cognac lacquered ceramic, $2,750, at L'Arc de Davidor; Stripe ring, $200, at Jennifer Fisher.

Speaking of your fiance, do you have a wedding date set?

Oh boy. I’ve been planning! My dream wedding will be at the beach in Brazil next summer. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and the list is just getting bigger and bigger, which scares me. We have almost everything settled now. We have friends all over the world and it’s a little hard to get everybody together, but we are working on it. But I promise you, it’ll be really fun!

What do you love to do when you’re in Miami?

Sip a margarita on the beach! I also love to get sushi at Azabu.

Your mantra for 2020?

Be present. Live in the moment because you never know what is going to happen tomorrow.

                                                  Lais Up Close

                          The model answers our rapid fire-questions.

The show you’re binge-watching? Grace and Frankie. They’re so funny!

Hidden talents? Volleyball. I play really well. See, I’m so humble!

Last movie that made you cry? The Joker.

What stresses you out? I’m such a Libra. I don’t like when people are unfair. I like balance and justice.

What relaxes you? Hanging out and playing with my kid.

What’s the emoji you most commonly use? The emoji that’s crying and laughing tears. Or the salsa dancer.

What’s the weirdest app that you have on your phone? My son has so many apps on my phone, it’s crazy. He’s obsessed with TikTok. It’s very creative.

First thing you thought when your alarm went off this morning? I was thinking that my trainer told me to wake up too early and I was a little bit mad at him!

Celeb crush? My fiance. I’m an engaged woman! What are you trying to do?

Cheat meal? French fries. Pizza. Pasta. And guacamole! If I see it, it’s gone. I can’t resist guacamole.

Dress with sequin top and contrast embroidered fringes, $11,000, Gucci, Design District

[noahfence1d]

Queer people who took time coming to terms with our identities know the dance of avoiding definitive terms and labels. We know what it can look like when someone is a baby queer in waiting; we certainly understand what it’s like trying to figure out how to exist both authentically and safely in the world, calculating the risks of being your true self, and why that waiting period exists—and, for some, never really ends. This process of coming to terms and coming out, however, poses different challenges and has specific implications when you’re a celebrity. Some celebrities—especially those with teen fanbases, like Shawn Mendes or Taylor Swift—are no strangers to being pinned as queer icons because of their presentation, language, or even the friendships they have, despite not being out as queer. However, figures like Mendes or Swift are known for vehemently pushing away from any narrative defining them explicitly queer. Other celebrities, like Harry Styles, have strongly leaned into queerness—or at the very least, embraced being coded as queer.

Look up “Harry Styles queer” on Google and you’ll get a range of headlines from “We need to talk about why Harry Styles is a lesbian icon” to “Harry Style’s New Music Video is Extremely Bisexual.” Styles often dons floral suits and a more stereotypically feminine demeanor alongside lyrics like ones from his song “Medicine,” which are unmistakably bisexual: “The boys and the girls are here/ I mess around with him/ And I’m okay with it.” Recently, Styles announced a tour with artists similarly dubbed queer icons, Jenny Lewis and King Princess, a musical setup that seems like it was made in heaven for queer fans. On his new Saturday Night Live appearance, Styles played a sexually ambiguous character in the Sara Lee sketch, referencing being thirsty for men, almost locking in his “brand” of queerness yet again. In October 2019, Styles’s single “Lights Up” was also deemed a bisexual anthem by certain members of the queer community, especially as the corresponding music video shows a nearly naked Styles surrounded by people of all genders who are touching and carressing his body.

In a 2019 interview with Rolling Stone, he explained why he often dons rainbow flags on stage at his concerts and why he’s been so vocal about supporting queer people. “Everyone in that room is on the same page and everyone knows what I stand for. I’m not saying I understand how it feels. I’m just trying to say, ‘I see you.’” At this point, Styles isn’t new to curiosity surrounding his sexuality. Throughout his time with One Direction, rumors about his sexuality swirled, as he had a close relationship with bandmate Louis Tomlinson. The relationship became a hot topic, and one hugely obsessed over in fan and fanfiction communities. In a 2017 interview with The Sun, while discussing the way that celebrity sexuality is constantly questioned, he said, “It’s weird for me—everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that … I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve ever felt like I have to explain about myself.” At his final show for his tour in Glasgow in 2018, Styles announced onstage, “We’re all a little bit gay.”

For much of his career, it’s almost seemed like his fanbase is rooting for his queerness. One reason that online communities seem to be so obsessed with queer-adjacent celebrities like Styles is that they normalize queerness, making it feel more accessible. “If they were to come out, it would be a huge benefit to LGBTQ visibility in the media, and a lot of people in the LGBTQ community would love to have a celebrity of that stature on ‘their’ side,” Ash, a bisexual woman, told me. But Styles doesn’t actually claim queerness just because many fans, queer and otherwise, have hoped that he’ll one day do so explicitly. “Can straight people be queer?” asked a 2016 Vice article about the impact of the term’s increasingly broad application. The fact is that cis, straight people can’t be queer—so what does that mean when queer communities tout artists like Styles or Swift as part of our culture?

At some points in history, having these kinds of allies for the community who are not queer themselves, like Lil’ Kim, who has advocated for gay men and against homophobia in the rap community since the early 2000s, has been monumental. Queer audiences of yesteryears also gravitated toward performers like Dolly Parton who didn’t have to be queer themselves because they were accepting and loving toward all, and used their platform to normalize and uplift the queer communities that have celebrated them. In this day and age, however, expectations of performers have heightened. Unlike other celebrities dubbed “queer icons” who happen to be straight, including Madonna, Janet Jackson, or Parton, the fanbases of artists like Styles’s skew younger. And younger audiences don’t just want performers who see and welcome them. They want performers who are them—artists who understand the queer experience because they are queer, and they’re here to reflect audiences back to themselves.

So why the critique if there are seemingly so many positives to any representation or acceptance? It’s not that Styles, or any celebrity or public figure for that matter, owes us any information about their sexualities. On one hand, simply by existing in such a public manner, these celebrities offer a sliver of hope that there might be someone just like us navigating the world of queerness and identity. Celebrities like Styles or Swift—who has made use of queer aesthetics herself, and whose friendship with model Karlie Kloss has been the subject of rumors—remind us of who we were when we navigated our queerness more subtly before we were ready to explicitly tell someone close to us, or our resident queer community. Entertainers like Jackson or Parton became queer icons because they embraced queer fans during a closeted time, and perhaps it felt okay to have acceptance without representation. It was clear the performers weren’t trying to be queer. On the other hand, with Styles or Swift, the lines are blurred, and it’s unclear whether they’re trying to say they’re one of us or merely accept queer fans while borrowing from the culture to fit in and create a brand.

“I think it’s important for white queer folks to interrogate the whiteness of their queer idols, and work to understand why they feel more inclined to celebrate the visible queerness of one artist over another.”

There’s often a concern that celebrities are co-opting queerness as a marketing ploy. With the long history of queerbaiting (using the possibility of or undertones of queerness to gain favorability with queer people) in popular culture, there’s a certain level of disingenuousness to letting the bait and switch go on with minimal critique. The kind of support and lauding that celebrities like Styles receive for more playful expression and experimentation is not always present for queer people of color like Syd (formerly of The Internet), Alok Vaid-Menon, or Big Freedia. When she sees mostly white, thin, able-bodied figures with “queer energy” centered as icons in the queer community as opposed to queer people of color, Olivia Zayas Ryan, a queer woman, wonders why. “If you’re showing up for a pretty white boy in a tutu, where are you when Black and brown queer folks are vilified, ridiculed, and worse?” she told me. “If you are excited and feel seen when queer aesthetics are in the mainstream, what are you doing to honor, protect, and recognize the folks who created them? I think it’s important for white queer folks to interrogate the whiteness of their queer idols, and work to understand why they feel more inclined to celebrate the visible queerness of one artist over another.”

Conversation around both queerbaiting and our curiosity about celebrity queerness is an ongoing and complicated one. For example, there are theorists who have posited that Kurt Cobain was a closeted trans woman. “Many transgender women see themselves in his shaggy hair, his penchant for nail polish and dresses, and his struggles with depression,” Gillian Branstetter, a transgender advocate and writer, told me. Cobain’s fascination with pregnancy (“In Utero”) and his distaste for masculinity (“In Bloom”), as well as his partner Courtney Love’s references to having a more fluid lover (“He had ribbons in his hair/ And lipstick was everywhere/ You look good in my dress”) stoked this interest in his sexuality and presentation. “It sounds very familiar to trans women whose own relationship with masculinity and femininity was often expressed in coded ways before they came out,” says Branstetter. Styles, who like Cobain shows disinterest in conforming to a traditionally masculine rock-star presentation, seems to spark the same interest in fans from the queer community.

With our investment in Styles or other celebrities who are likely straight but exude “queer energy,” it feels as if we’re looking for a mirror of ourselves, seeking to claim the most popular public figures as our own, and in turn feel more normal and accepted. Perhaps our obsession with artists like Styles comes down to the excitement of feeling visible—but what do fans of potentially straight queer icons like Styles actually want? Can we thread the needle between feeling seen and normalized in our queerness while also feeling the imbalance between Styles’s privilege and the most marginalized people in the queer community’s lived experiences? Ultimately, it’s queer fans who get to decide if Styles’s kind of allyship and solidarity with the queer community is enough, or if it’s begun to give off the all-too-familiar stink of disingenuous baiting.

[suero-afs363]

Paris is Burning

The Article Paris is Burning is a critical article written by bell hooks to express her observation and opinion on the documentary Paris is Burning directed by Jennie Livingston. bell hooks is an African American female author, professor, feminist and social activist. hooks has constructed the article in order to explain how the gay black men experience is not fully represented in the documentary film.Livingston is a lesbian white women director, producer and activist; she uses film to capture vouge, drag in the gay community of New York City. I introduce both women in order to comprehend the lenses these women have and how they carry their message. In the class of Blacks and Media we have touched on the history of African Americans in social media, politics, gender and now sexual orientation. In this thought paper I will evaluate the documentary Paris is Burning by Jennie Livingston and bell hooks response in her article Paris is Burning. Gay Black men, transgender/transsexual or non-binaries are considered at threat to societies norm because the United States inevitably has history of being racists, patriarchal and sexist.

           In the 1990 film Paris is burning Livingston documents the lives of black gay men, transgenders/transsexuals influence in the culture of drag and vogue. The film begins with a narrative from one of the men having a nostalgic moment and stating “you are black, you are male and you are gay, you are gonna have a hard time if you gonna do this you are gonna have to be stronger then you ever imagined” three qualities that are stigmatized in Americas misogynist racist society. Homophobia is based on the fear of homosexual behavior it was also included in the DSM (American Psychiatric Association) diagnoses book as a disease/ mental disorder. In the 1980’s there was a HIV epidemic and the scientific myth was that it was only transmitted through same sex engagement. This deadly virus brought fear to many people and it increased the fear and alienation of people (especially men) in the Queer community. The film introduces the ritual of preparing and attending at a ball,  it all began in Vegas when men would cross dress like Vegas girls but as new generations joined the balls the culture shifts from preparing the extravagant gowns with beads and feathers to a more simple like a movie star or a model. Here we see a transition that cross dressing is not only for a night out at a gay gala it has also become a place for validation. Some men find it more comfortable embodied as women and desire to continue to present themselves as women. Livingston focuses on the art, community and ambitions black gay men have to be understood, famous and successful. She structured the film as the men having true feelings, thoughts, ideas and dreams; all of them being no less than any other person. The film emphasizes on the struggles gay and transgender/transsexual men endure in society. Not being accepted for being black male, not being able to get jobs because of their sexual orientation and race. The men have built communities that allows them to be comfortable in their own skin because they yarn to be accepted therefore, they create families and houses with mothers and children in order to be each other’s’ anchors.

In the previous article Oppositional Gaze, hooks emphasize on the psychological and sociological effects of white supremacy on framing, racism and feminism. In this article she takes a similar stance but instead she goes to argue that the gay black man’s struggle was not being represented to its full authenticity. Bell argues “these images of black men in drag were never subversive, they helped sustain sexism and racism” (146) the bigotry in America now feels justified for dehumanizing black people because they appear uncivilized because of their scornful manners. She also states “I can see the black male in drag was also disempowering of black masculinity” (146) because femininity is perceived as a weakness because of gender and the men in drag aim to convey the attributes of a women they are frowned upon and have a low social status. I disagree with this statement because in the documentary the men are sustaining their self-esteem and thriving on the power of seduction. bell perceives power to be a patriarchal status, she lacks to understand that seduction is another form of power. The men use the power in their work of sex trafficking. The men in the use their bodies and exchange of sex in order to make a living and also to validate their sexuality and seduction. Being that man transgender/ transsexual men were able to make a living out of this profession demonstrates the taboo is fetishized but not welcomed. Although The opportunities for jobs as a gay black or transgender/transsexual man in society is difficult to attain and maintain because of the taboos attached to stigmas.

Different societies in different communities determine what is wealth, success and power based on the structure of social stratification. The drag and transgender/transsexual ideal of beauty, success and riches is to embody a white woman. The goal is to be accepted, valuable and ‘normal’ because “the brutal imperial ruling-class capitalist patriarchal whiteness that presents itself – its way of life – as the only meaningful life there is” features of European decent has subconsciously been ingrained in the minds of African American cognitive to believe that to be successful, beautiful and rich is to imitate the authorities grouping. In the film Livingston interviews Dorian Corey, one of the oldest legends of drag in Harlem. Dorian shares the ideals of beauty is to express white feminine attributes ‘if you capture the great white way of living or looking or dressing or speaking you are a marvel” this is an example to show the struggle that gay black men in drag have is to completely modify their race and gender in order to be a sensation. Hook argues “the idea of womeness and femininity is totally personified by whiteness. What viewers witness in not black men longing to impersonate or even to become ‘real’ black women but their obsession with idealized fetishized vision of feminity that is white” (148). In the ball the category ‘Realness’ is structured to appeal to the audience as to have feminine features because the more feminine you appear because it is not only cross dressing it is a contest to be able to manipulate society as a transgender/transsexual then you gain a price. Octivia was a transgender in the film whom was hoping to change her sex ‘this is not a game for me or fun, this is how I want to live my life” there are not enough black models for her to aspire to appear like so in her room there are posters of white women. Americas ideal beautiful women is a thin figured white rich woman, it has been ingrained in the minds of Americans across the board despite the sex, gender, sexual orientation or social status. Media has a large influence on this portrait because of the people marketing and financing the industries is dominated by white men.

I enjoyed the film and the article because it highlights the struggles, hopes and dreams of being a gay or transgender/transsexual in the black subculture. The documentary Paris is Burning demonstrates the sub gay black community in a humaine vulnerable form. Although bell argues Livingston should have emphasized more on the struggle of being a gay black man, I believe Livingston challenged societal norms by illustrating the stories and experience gay black men are challenged within society and their own community. This film is inspirational to others with similar paths. In the 80’s because of the HIV epidemic Homophobia really affected the gay community because it was known as the “gay man’s plaque” justifying religions argument against same sex relationships and leaving the queer community to question “why is loving love a sin?”. Livingston did a phenomenal job casting transparent people in their journey, I also read that she did activist and participated in the HIV community in NYC. I also want to share that after watching the documentary I was able to visually comprehend the influence black, queer, fashion, psychological evaluation and comprehension along with art culture has influenced todays dance, media, fashion, makeup, queer activism, medicine ext. I watched Rihanna’s 2019 fashion show on amazon prime and I was able to see the transition and progress that the black queer community has influenced in today’s culture across the board.

[flying-elliska]

You said it feels cool to have a specific identity but isn't that exactly why we are seen as the special snowflake generation? Not to mention wasn't the whole point to be free from stereotypes and dress however we want, love whoever we want etc? And yet there's now so many identities, labels, flags which create an implicit pressure to define yourself so you'll be included. Idk I think your french friends are right,it still feels like we're pushing people into boxes; they're just woke boxes now.

Hey anon ! Thank you for this very interesting question. I hope you’re ok with getting a mini-essay as a response (that’s kind of my brand now lmao)

So first of all, if you don’t feel like you personally need labels, you are totally valid. And so are my friends. I think you have to find out what you’re most comfortable with. It’s true that labels can be used to exclude, esp in the LGBTQ+ communities. I think we focus our activism a little bit too much on words and online stuff and media representation nowadays, as opposed to practical political action, and that’s an issue. And we focus too much on people not having the correct, latest approved terminology and labels as a way to show you’re a good person, as opposed to what people are actually doing and their lived experiences, and who is authorized to use what label and those debates often just exasperate me to the highest point. It’s like, don’t you have anything better to do ? It becomes very clique-ish, school courtyard drama at times. There should always be a place for questioning, fluidity, no labels, a place for discovery and uncertainty, shifting identifications, multiple labels at once, words changing, and questioning what place they take in our lives.

But, on the whole, I still like my labels, and I’m going to try and explain why. 

Labels are words right ? They have the benefits and drawbacks of words. A rose under any other name would still smell as sweet, of course. But we are a fundamentally social species, and words are a way to create bridges between people, between our experiences. It signals that you are not alone ; it’s a way to make visible things that are usually invalidated, ostracized or just plain erased by the mainstream and the status quo. The development of a vocabulary for the queer community was what made their political struggle and pride possible ; before it was “the love that dare not speak it name”, all euphemisms and shame. It honors, too, the struggle of those who came before us ; it places us in the continuity of a history ; it says we have been here before, it gives us memory and context. Of course words are going to betray us, because they can never retranscribe the fullness, complexity and confusion of lived experience. But they’re a conversation starter ; they bring people together ; they create spaces of freedom. 

I’m going to give you a personal example : a few years ago I fell in love with a girl for the first time ; after that I seriously started thinking of myself as bisexual. There had always been a thing there but because I had been mostly attracted to boys before, I’d swept it under the rug. But finding the ‘bisexual’ label made me realize - no this is a thing, this is valid, and it made me look back at all those instances in the past of having weirdly intense feelings for some of my girl friends, of being obsessed with certain actresses, etc…that back then I didn’t understand, I just thought I was weird…and I always thought that bisexuality was something that something Hollywood starlets did for attention. But finding a community behind that word that was seeking to reclaim it from the stereotypes and being proud about what it meant, it was so healing.

 After that I immersed myself more in my local LGBTQ+ community ; and in particular I volunteered for the European Bisexual Convention - that one in particular was incredible because it felt so…liberating. In the general LGBTQ community, people expect you to be gay until you say otherwise. In the student association I was in, it was cool, but it was also…very normative in a way. Lots of stereotypes about how we were expected to be, what we were expected to like, behave like. So for Eurobicon, to have all of that lifted, it was amazing. And it was also so much more inclusive - of disabled, neuroatypical, transgender ppl, different body types and ethnicities, like you could feel that they had made an effort. I also met several nonbinary ppl for the first time of my life and I was like…oh wow there’s something here that feels very important and real. We shared experiences that we did not have a space before, that were specifically bisexual and that tend to go unheard in general queer spaces because they’re not part of the dominant narrative : the daily hesitations, the lack of visibility, the much higher rates of staying closeted, feeling like you are not really part of the community, but also the really cool aspects too - there was this incredible energy of fluidity too of thinking, here is a space where everyone can potentially be into everyone, there aren’t as many barriers as we usually have to think about. And there was this one party and we were all dancing and flirting in a very sweet kind of way, people of different ages and body types, gender presentations and configurations I hadn’t thought about before, a girl in a wheelchair swirling around and being treated like a queen, guys in corsets and cool butches and just some beautiful people - and there was this euphoria in the room, of recognition and kinship, and it felt so…normal, not freakish like I had been led to believe it would be. Nobody was putting on airs or trying hard or whatever, they were just being themselves. And I was like, wow, this is something I need more of in my life. And this freedom was made possible by people coming together under a certain label, recognizing that certain people have specific needs and experiences. Especially after growing up in environments that never tell you that those things are possible, finding the right label can be like coming home. 

I have other labels for myself I am less public about because I don’t want to deal with the social aspect of it, or I’m like this is none of anybody’s business, or I want to give myself the time to figure it out on my own. But they’re tools for self-knowledge, they allow me to think about things, to conceptualize, to research (and lol I’m a nerd so…). And to be less hard on myself sometimes, and to stand up for myself in a ‘I know who I am and it’s okay’ kind of way. Because society tends to pathologize, ostracize or demonize the things it doesn’t understand, and labels can protect you against that. 

In an ideal society maybe we wouldn’t need labels - to have a right to exist or survive, and that’s definitely a goal, but I think we would still make some, because that’s who we are as a species, we need to classify certain things in order to think about them. The problem is when those boxes become cages instead of like, beautiful pots to grow seeds in, like art or poetry. And of course deconstructing the boxes we don’t want remain important. But I don’t think we can ever be box-less, it just to me doesn’t compute. 

I just wanna come back to the ‘special snowflake generation’ thing. If you don’t want labels, like I said, that’s fine. But I hate hate hate that term, and I don’t want to define myself in reaction to it. To me it’s used by a) bigots who just hate the fact that natural human diversity is becoming more recognized and discussed, and want to put us back in the artificial, stifling boxes that dynamics of power, patriarchy and imperialism have made us believe were normal when they really weren’t. And b) older people who are uncomfortable with increased levels of emotional intelligence and lability among younger generations. It’s a thing I’ve noticed over and over again ; people used to talk so much less. When they had feelings in general, or experiences out of the norm, they were taught that stuffing them down and sitting on them and repressing the shit out of them, was the noble/normal/grown up thing to do. So they did and they suffered in silence. And maybe some of them now feel bitter, or at least bewildered, by younger generations refusing to do so and inventing and or reclaiming all those new ways of talking about their experiences out in the open. And so they’re like ‘it’s too much ! you’re spoiled !’ because they want to believe that their sacrifices had a point. They don’t want to realize they could have done things differently all along. It’s very sad. But I don’t think it should be a barrier to us using them like…just as we shouldn’t refrain from using washing machines because our grandmothers suffered to wash everything in a bucket…There’s nothing entitled about wanting a better life than previous generations… And to me, having more words and more space to express myself will never be a bad thing. 

[thetravelerwrites]

Why hate always seems to win.

I don’t do this often, but sometimes I’m compelled to write out something that has been plaguing me just to get it somewhere where I can look at it objectively, as opposed to just obsessing over it forever, and I’m going to do that now. Please forgive the long post, but this is something I have contemplated for a very long time and I’ve reached the point where I need to get it out of my head. And it’s about why people often choose hate over love and acceptance.

To preface this, I will say that I have benefited from privilege. I am white, cis, and was raised in a Christian household in the southern states of a first world country in which Christianity is the dominant religion. However, I am also a victim of discrimination, as I am a sex-positive asexual, permanently disabled, impoverished, mentally ill, and an unmarried mother raising my daughter without support or contact from the father. Having said all that, I have also contributed to discrimination in my lifetime.

I was raised in a racist household. It wasn’t overt, but there were certainly undercurrents of distrust of other races, religions, and sexualities present in our home. My parents, of course, would argue that they weren’t racists or bigots because, unlike both of their parents who were openly hostile to people of other races, religions, and sexualities, my parents weren’t hostile. If anything, they were... dismissive and disrespectful, believing that straight, white Christians had more social and economic value than any other race, religion or sexuality.

That was made apparent when a black family moved in next door to us, and one of my family member’s first words after finding this out were: “Well, there goes our property values,” as if black people were of such low value that their very presence lowered the value of everything around them. I was a teenager when this happened, and it hit me like a punch to the face. Because my family was never that open about their distrust and dismissive attitude toward other races. But it forced me to step back and wonder if I thought a long the same lines, and after reflection, I realized that I did.

I can distinctly remember a time in my life where I was a Christian who believed in traditional gender roles, didn’t “believe” in alternative sexualities, or that being transgender was even a real thing, that people claiming to be so were either confused or doing it for attention. I distrusted people of other religions and felt superior in the belief that my way was right and anyone else’s way was wrong. I believed that “mental illness” wasn't real, that it was either demons or a person who, again, was seeking attention. And once I came to the realization that I might be wrong, I knew I had to find out why I thought I was right.

So I did some research. The first thing I studied were racial discrepancies in both wealthy and impoverished environments, and how the statistics were heavily skewed when it came to minorities and poverty. I studied statistics of different races in many academic fields, and found no significant discrepancies in performance or intellect. I found huge discrepancies between races when it came to arrests, sentencing, and length of imprisonment. I studied religions, and found a lot of them told the same stories and had the same message, which led me to question why my version was the only right one?

I researched gender theory, learned that some people possess both the XX and XY chromosomes simultaneously, and of the existence single sex chromosomes (X and Y) and multiple sex chromosomes (XXX, XXY, and XYY, etc). I learned of the mutilation of intersex children without the child’s, or sometimes even the parent’s, consent. I researched alternative sexualities, and saw horrifying murder and suicide rates, as well as heartbreaking testimonials of people who were tortured and ridiculed for the crime of being themselves.

I watched a documentary about a seven year old transgender girl who, at age four, prayed that she could go to heaven and not come back, because she was being punished for doing anything that could be remotely construed as feminine or for saying out loud “I am a girl.” A four year old child literally praying to die because no one could accept her.

It was a real reality check, and for the first time I had to look into myself and wonder why I had ever hated these people at all and where it started. And that’s when I made another realization: my way of thinking hurt people. Whether it was directly or indirectly, it didn’t matter. I was hurting people. And once I realized that, I stopped thinking that way. It wasn’t even a slow transition; it was more like a switch being flipped. As soon as I realized my thinking was hurtful, I stopped doing that. I wanted to learn and understand and empathize. I wanted to offer my help to people who I had previously denied were my equal or, in some cases, I had denied their very existence.

The problem I’ve run into across the board when it comes to hate and bigotry is this: hate is easy. It requires no energy, contemplation, or effort. It’s easy to say, “I hate that person/thing,” and offer no explanation. That’s apparently acceptable. You might be asked to defend your position when challenged, but that’s the only thing that requires any level of consideration or research. Otherwise, hate is mindless and requires no self-reflection or even basic understanding. Nothing needs to be there besides a subtly planted seed for it to grow and fester.

Compassion and acceptance is harder. It requires you to think about what you do and say, to be mindful of how your words and actions will effect others. Even today, I still have to think about how I do things and how I think about things. To wonder if what I think of someone when I see them is a stereotype or if it’s a legitimate observation, often wondering if I would have reacted differently to certain situations if the people involved were of a different race than me. Tolerance and acceptance is ever-evolving and complex and requires constant revisions and data input. It requires work.

Now, if there’s one thing we know about humanity as a whole: the vast majority like things to be easy and simple. They don’t like looking at reflections of themselves and questioning their ideologies, core values, or morals. They want to believe that what they had always thought to be right has been and always will be right. Coming to the realization that everything you had previously known is not healthy, kind, or even necessary can shake the foundation of a person’s belief in how the world exists and can be quite painful. It was hard for me, and I still struggle with it at times.

I want to be better than my parents. I want to be way better than my grandparents. And the first step is acknowledging that I contributed to the problem. I could make the excuse that I didn’t know any better, but it hardly matters. What matters is what I can do now to atone.

What I can do now is listen, learn, reflect, and act in a way that protects and defends people who still suffer from discrimination. I can only hope that I’m doing my part to engender love, trust, and unity. And that's all I can do.