#why are there famous individuals in fandom. it’s fucking fandom

[del-stars]

now that this whole mischief productions/p4perback thing has blown up can we talk about how fucking weird it is how people create hierarchy in fandom and worship creators that should be your peers

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 || 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎’𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one || part two: with a broken heart

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ When Miguel fell so hard for an anomaly that ended up being another one of his canon events; a soulmate.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ fluff, angst?, reader is a hot Hispanic sunshine, plot twist at the end, age gap? (How old is Miguel?, like 28, early 30's?, reader is like 20 not specified) I'm 19, so in my head reader is 20, fuck it <3.

𝐀𝐍_ hellooo, this is my Ist fic for this fandom, I've been trying to hide this crush for weeks, I can't anymore.

♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙏 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙟𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖.

<3,𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙭 (+fics)

_________________

[ 2 months before the events of SPIDERMAN: ATSV]...

Nothing is perfect; nothing can be that special. But somehow, you ended up being that, or at least almost.

Because this is how everything starts; you were stressing out for college sophomore year finals when in the middle of your room, a portal opened and absorbed you.

Sounds incredibly ridiculous and cringe... Right?. Well, it's about to get worse.

The portal only left you there, hanging between random universes. There you are seeing how your shoes fly away and your hair is tangling like crazy, and out of nowhere, a spider that seemed like it was made of silver bit you. And seconds later, you were back at home stressing over the finals.

Yeah, you didn't think it would be a problem, only that it increased your phobia of spiders. Later, you accepted that Los Angeles would have an arachnid vigilante.

Yeah, Los Angeles. No shit, you wouldn't fly to save New York in your universe just to fit the stereotype. Besides, they already had one. One who died and then the most significant and original anomaly, Miles Morales.

That's for later, by the way.

You had your suspicions of the existence of the multiverse but no curiosity. You only cared about your sacred home and, to be more specific, your friends and family.

So it goes; you were a spider-woman with sassy webs and fantastic hair, saving people from the crime on Skid Row, abusive elites in Downtown, corruption in Glendale, etc etc.

Your family didn't knew about it, nor friends. Social media gave you a cool but weird surname; Aragmatica.

So you had everything; no pressure from being the spider-woman Aragmatica, wonderful friends, and family. A transcription remote job and a firm college pathway to be a writer and teacher. Though, you would be lying if you said you didn't want to meet the Spiderman from New York. Your abilities were barely used, so the news about your existence were remotely passed by. That's why you were completely fine with it, you had everything.

Except for one thing; love.

You didn't have anyone to hold, anyone who made you laugh. Someone who made you feel the scarlet blush and raced heartbeats. Thus, Why would you care for that? You were so young and you didn't need that commitment yet.

Finally, your official transcript from that year was carefully sealed in an envelope. Summer break was yours, starting with a good ballet class.

Your spider senses weren't fully developed because you never saw 4 pair of eyes watching you.

The class was fun, though. All the music was from the most famous plays, and having the opportunity to wear a tutu was always accepted.

You didn't care coming out of the building wearing it after the friendly teacher gifted you the fluffy piece of clothing.

You also didn't care to sing slightly aloud as you walked towards your car.

And that's when 4 individuals interfered with your way; Peter B. Parker, Hobie Brown, and Gwen Stacy.

"Uh... nice cosplays. But the Comic-Con is more to the south. In San Diego..." They looked at each other. Only the older guy stepped further, laughing.

"Oh, you're funny. There's also one in my universe, but it's celebrated in Coney Island and-" only that Gwen pinched him. The older man frowned.

"She's leaving, Peter," Gwen said.

"Hey! Wait!" Peter stopped you from closing your car door, and you looked more confused than ever.

"Dude, back off. There must be kids near us. You don't want to do this..." Hobie giggled. He had remained leaning against a mailbox during the whole interaction.

"What? No-, I-. We need to talk to you... we're also spider people" Rolling your eyes, you just rested your head on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, your suits are too good to be a cosplay. I like your pointe shoes though" Gwen blushed but said thank you for your flattery.

"I'm Peter B. Parker. The guy with the cool outfit that's Hobie Brown. And the girl with the pointe shoes you liked is Gwen Stacy" They looked lovely. Hobie and Gwen, probably your age, but you were running late for dinner. You had to drop the transcript for validation in early registration for admissions to transfer.

You didn't have time for this "Have you heard of the Avengers initiative?" Type of moment.

The best you could do was politely turn them down. But they were already inside your car.

"Hey!. Okay, if this is some spider intervention, I don't have time to travel between universes and that stuff" Hobie started playing your radio. Again, you rolled your eyes.

"This is good music, girl. Nice.." he said, making you smile a little. He seemed nicer.

"Thanks, but." Then Gwen interrupted you.

"You could be dangerous or cause a massive disaster for canon. You are a rare case between spiders" For the first time, you were quiet. Maybe that omen was this, that not everything could be perfect.

"You felt it...." Peter said because your silence was loud enough to tell him.

"You knew about us then?"

"The multiverse and variations are not a thrill in this universe, but I wasn't expecting this on a random Friday afternoon. Besides that, Why don’t you go and ask the famous Spiderman from this earth? " you explained and questioned. They all exchanged looks, which makes you grow curious, but you ignore it of course.

"That Spiderman is not our problem right now. Our boss wants to meet you. We need to know what type of anomaly you are" They all heard you sighing. You had too many questions but also tired, so you wouldn't be annoyingly asking them millions of questions.

"Okay." Peter shrugged in disbelief.

"That's it?. No questions?" Gwen passed you a blue band, probably to travel between universes.

"Not energetic nor annoying. Miguel will like her," Hobie stated, comfortable in the passenger seat.

"Just don't smile too much, avoid questions, and you'll be fine" Humming in agreement, you waited.

A portal of bright colors and blinding flashes appeared seconds later from your car's windshield. It was different from what you expected. In the movies looked easier.

"Okay, here we go..." Peter announced. And with fast blood pressure, you followed them.

It was a prolonged free fall and the twists in your stomach were getting painfully evident. What seemed to last a minutes was actually a second, and you had no time to land properly.

The first thing you felt was the urge to complain on the ground. Laying on your stomach, with your hair in a now disheveled bun.

Everyone turned to look at you, finally noticing you were wearing a tutu and leotard in grey and black colors.

"Lost your hoodie?" Gwen asked, being the first to start giggling, followed by the others.

"Could any of you have alerted me to prepare for this type of landing?" You asked no one in particular. Then you analyzed Gwen's question.

"MY hoodie!. Damnit, it was new!" And that's how you lost 75 dollars. But soon, you stopped thinking about the new tour merch you lost.

It was a bright earth, futuristic and agitated. And as soon as you entered the giant building, you noticed it was full of spider people.

From any size to any color, but... no one was similar to you. Well, you didn't have a suit yet, but... you couldn't feel a spider sense with anyone. Well, you could, since the place was full of spiders people, but there's an specific tingle that lets you know when you share similar abilities or DNA with other spiders.

"Surprised?" Gwen asked, walking by your side.

"Well. I'd rather say disturbed," she giggled.

"You're unlike any spider I've met," the blonde added.

"Oh please, I can't be that special." Bored or not, you were missing dinner. Your family would be worried if you didn't come back past midnight. Hopefully, your first interaction with another universe will be quick.

"Oh, but you are. That's why you're here..." said a new voice. When you turned, you were even more confused.

A pregnant spider-woman?. Could you feel any weirder?.

"Uhh- Hi...I'm y/n, this is the weirdest day of my life" She nodded laughing. Her yellow glasses were very cool, you liked her look in general.

"We know that. But let's go, Miguel needs to see you..." and officially, that was the beginning of everything.

The HQ was futuristic, wide and full of people. Everything was so weird that edged being ridiculous. Until, the group of spiders lead you to a dark room. Full of technology and chemistry stuff.

For the first time, you felt a tingle when he finally faced you; Miguel O'Hara. And to be honest, his broad and tall figure intimidated you.

He said you were a bizarre anomaly. You were the only spider person who had been bitten between universes. Meaning that you were an accident. While there must be variants of you, none of them were spiders, nobody was like you.

Unconsciously, your own canon was building up as every day passed, like a plague. Any of your actions were vital for everyone. One bad movement and everything could go to hell.

He offered you a place in the group to keep order among universes. Suspicious, but seemed honest at the same time.

"I appreciate the offer, but I have a degree to finish. And I got enrolled for summer ballet classes..." you said, ambling towards the exit. The man sighed, not ready to deal with another extroverted spider like most of his coworkers.

"No. You need to be a responsible spiderwoman and do what you're expected to do," the man said, intimidating you more as he towered you. Beside getting lost in his amazing hair, intriguing brown eyes and sharp jaw, your thoughts were running. Maybe you were being selfish. Most of the people in the room had lost a lot and you hadn't. This was the least you could do.

"You just said I'm an accident. There are no expectations from me. I can't break canon. I'm making my own, What could go wrong?..." you dared to say, avoiding looking into his brown eyes.

"You want to find out?" a little closer, and you would touch his chest. Besides, the tingle was back. Miguel also felt it, but he called it on you being angered by this new phase you would enter.

You knew he was going to be hard to deal with from now on. But deep inside, you liked the feeling he had planted on your stomach.

"No.." you admitted. Slightly afraid of losing what you had. He smiled but for less than a second.

"That's what I thought" After that, it was history.

Two months. And things were... okay.

You made a great friendship with Peter and Hobie. Something inside you was stopping you from trusting Gwen at all.

Then, Jessica was good but slightly challenging. Even Pavitr was good.

And then, there was Miguel.

Fucking Miguel O'Hara. He was dead serious every time. Still, you refused to show he could intimidate you.

Like right now, or... at any moment, whatever.

"He's going to kill you..." Lyla whispered, moving in circles around you.

"He won't if someone doesn't tell him" she frowned.

"He's going to kill us both, y/n," she almost yelled. Following you to the briefing of a new case.

"He can't kill you, Lyla. Be serious..." you stated, shrugging.

"I don't want to know..."

"Me neither. So just shush..." The room was almost empty. Only Peter, Hobie, and Jessica were inside.

The sound of the door captured everyone's attention

"Shoot" you said, looking at Miguel who sighed. After that, he stopped talking.

"You're late..." Of course, he would remark on your irresponsibility.

"I had a dentist appointment. What can I say?" he rolled his eyes and indicated you sit down.

"Sorry, I won't come late again would be fine" Miguel scolded you, and then kept giving instructions.

Earth-238, neon venom, evacuated civilians, blah blah blah. The mission would be easy, and you'd be leaving the room.

"Okay, everyone... gone, now" Jess finalizes.

"Not you, y/n..." Miguel's voice caught you off guard. When you turned around, Lyla was still whispering to him.

"Bitch..." you whispered.

"Hey, I'll wait for you," Hobie said, indicating that he would wait outside the room.

You nodded at him, smiling as he left.

"Why did you send the evidence of last week's mission to Jessica instead of me?" He asked, arms crossed.

"She's also my boss," you admitted, avoiding his judgemental brows and gaze.

"I'm in charge. She's second in command. So?..." you pinched the bridge of your nose, anxiety creeping over.

"I-.." It was useless; you had to be honest.

"Because uh-, I didn't want you to see the anomaly recording" he was right. He knew you would be afraid of his reaction. Something inside switched to be softer.

"I almost fail to save that girl. It was an accident, but... I can't control this new ability. And I want to do a good job" Your anxiety was evident. Miguel had to suppress a smile.

"You have a big responsibility on your shoulders. The power to retain or doom canon" a lecture was coming. And you wished he wore his mask because you could see his whole features. Making it prone to capture any negativity from him.

"And that's why you must be on missions with me, not Jessica. I'm training you, not her" To be honest, you were surprised.

"You make me nervous all the time. I'm afraid I'll make something stupid on any of these days, and you'll send me home. My life is so boring..." He kind of chuckled, and it made you beyond surprised.

"I thought you were working on the English degree and summer ballet classes."

"You remember it?" Could your heart beat any faster?. His eyes were deep-fixed on yours, and it was killing you in a good way.

"Please stop giving me that look. I'm gonna piss myself off from nervousness."

"Don't think too much about it. You're doing good, kid" The pat on your shoulder made you explode.

Right there, you knew it was over. You had a crush on Miguel O'Hara.

Was it possible to see everything in pink shades and heart sprinkles? That's how you were looking at every universe. You were starting your lover era.

"PETER! PETER!" You yelled, running towards the man, heading out of the cafeteria. Most spider people on the headquarters looked at you, but you didn't care.

"Woah, calm down, girl," he said with a smile.

"I need to tell you something" he couldn't describe your excitement but happily took your hand when you pushed him inside an empty conference room.

"I have a crush on Miguel," you said with an evident blush.

"YOU WHAT?" He asked yelling.

"I know, I know. But... he's so sweet to me. He said I shouldn't be nervous about him and that I was doing good. He remembers my career and that I'm doing ballet classes. Oh, and today he opened the door for me TWICE!" You explain excited, pinching your suit. It was half synthetic and half like the one from Miguel. In navy colors and silver details. You loved your suit.

"This is insane. Are you insane, y/n?. We're talking about Miguel. Our grumpy and snarky boss that gets stressed over the tiniest detail and doesn't know how to smile" You nodded, rolling your eyes.

"It's not like he's the love of my life or destiny, Peter. It's just a crush...." you tried to convince yourself.

"No, no, no. I disapprove of this. Isn't he a little older for you?" You sighed.

"Oh, c'mon. MJ is younger than you, Mr. No age gap"

"This is serious, y/n. I've known Miguel for a long time. You know what happened to him. I don't think he's emotionally ready for this" he was right. But you were confident that this crush wouldn't be a big issue.

"I know. The least I want to do is hurt him. But once again, it's just a crush, Peter," you started coming out of the room. And, like a big coincidence, Miguel was walking through the hallway with Lyla talking to him.

"Hey, is it okay if I go to your office at lunchtime?" you asked the broad man once he was walking near you. He had his mask, that if you stared too long, it was a severe and scary gaze, but he nodded once. Neither you nor Peter noticed Miguel was actually looking at you. Causing him to feel a weird pricking.

"Sure," with that, he left with the female AI giving you a bad look.

"What?" Peter asked in disbelief once again.

"See? Nothing to worry about, love," you said.

...

In your Hispanic household, dinner was very important. And the one you missed two months ago was an issue that your family hardly let go.

"Don't be so late, corazón." your grandma told you from the kitchen. You entered the room being greeted by the smell of mole and ponche.

"With this food waiting for me, I will return in a second, abuelita," she giggled as you kissed her cheek.

"I'm just going for a stretch. And maybe a flan for dinner" Your favorite part of the day was starting. So happily, you left the house. AirPods on with your favorite music blasting through them, and it felt like heaven.

Swinging from palms to buildings and watching the crowds of the traffic of LA. Until you were in the Fashion District Downtown. You stopped at your favorite rooftop to see the last minutes of the West Coast sunset.

And it was beautiful. Orange, pink, yellow, purple, blue, and black. Like a firework evaporated in the sky.

The air feels perfect for taking a long breath, and you feel thankful for having a good day.

"Hey." you nearly fell from the building, but a well-known bright red web caught you in time.

When you turned around, you had Miguel watching you.

"Miguel?. What are you doing here?" The surprise and shock were eating you alive. Maybe an emergency happened, or he would get you banned from the Spider Society. Who knows?

"Just checking on you..." lately, he had been more close to you. Giving you a hand on missions, being willing to have more extended conversations, and softer pieces of advice.

"Why?" You ask, arching a brow.

"Last week, you were a little slow." he hears you giggling, and as he walks closer, he sees you hanging your toes on the edge. He sees your hair freely fly as you laugh. Cute, he thinks.

"I was on my period. We're good now..." he thanked, wearing the mask because his cheeks were burning.

"Don't be silly, Miguel. It's... normal," you said after he stood there quietly.

"Come, seat with me.." he obeyed, establishing some distance with you, but not too much.

Then he deactivated his mask, and you confirmed that his hair always looked gorgeous.

"Your universe is interesting," he said finally.

"We are very fixed; little surprises us. And capitalism is leading us to ruin, but yes... it's interesting" Miguel wasn't expecting that answer but smiled. Only because you didn't catch it.

"You are spending too much time with Hobie," you laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, I'll take that.." This time, you noticed his smile. And you wanted to keep the moment a little longer.

"Can we talk?"

"We are talking, y/n..." he let out a brief chuckle again.

"No, I know, but, like seriously...I'm afraid. Of hurting someone in the process of creating a disaster with this thing of being an anomaly" For weeks, you tried to avoid the thoughts of insecurity. But this was a good moment because Miguel had been training you, and he was the right and worst person to talk about this.

"And it frustrates me that I don't completely understand at all what am I..." you said, covering your face, letting all the intrusive thoughts out. Because even on a good day, anxiety could sneak in.

"Being a spider person means being afraid of many things. There's never complete peace. We live alert day by day. Keep in mind that you'll constantly worry, but it's part of the job. You don't sign for it; it just hits you" his words were profound. Enough to soothe some of your panic.

"I wish I could be straight to the point like you..." Miguel was urged to touch your hand or strands of hair that brushed his forearm. But he resisted, only looking at your profile.

"No. It's good to be honest and worry too."

"And you're something bigger than an anomaly. You're special" Maybe his tone made everything sound softer.

"Well, I don't feel special," you admitted.

"I feel like an accident. Not meant to be here, but nothing else to do."

"You don't need to feel it. I just see it..." when you turned to look at him, it was his soft look that made you realize, you were falling in love with him.

As your smile grew, Miguel completely ignored any thought of fear. He was just feeling, letting his heart warm and reciprocate your smile.

"You have to come and have dinner with my family and me," you blurted excitedly, changing the subject.

"No."

"SI!."

"Por Dios. No, y/n!" He said, rolling his eyes.

"They're not annoying or nosy, I promise," you pleaded. He knew there was no problem because your family thought you were in a new program in college. That was your lie to disguise your time with him and the team. Either way, Hispanic families could be nosy when a girl arrived home with a man.

"Please, as a thank you for listening to my bullshit. Por favor, ándale. Di que si..." he couldn't say no. He didn't want to reject you.

"Está bien, pues....'

He smiled again, watching you celebrate as you started balancing between buildings. Soon he followed you, happy to feel the way he was doing, and completely ignoring what he preached to keep canon safe.

...

The shock on everyone's faces only increased the more you talked.

Pavitr, Gwen, Hobie, and Peter had their mouths open.

"And then, we went to get a flan for dinner. A kid asked for a selfie with us, and it was so silly," you narrated.

"When we arrived home, he was so sweet. Only speaking Spanish, and he told mi abuelita I was doing great in job" Peter decided it was time to cover his mouth with one hand. Soon, everyone followed, keeping their shock.

"Dad was slightly judgmental but soon changed his mind because Miguel accepted a beer from him."

"Oh, and we spent hours in my room" That was enough for Peter.

"WHAT?... EXCUSE ME?"

"NO, PETER!. Jesus... we spent hours in my room because I was explaining to him some of my analysis from literature classes" The color returned to his face.

Nodded understanding, and everyone else laughed.

"I can't believe this. I simply can't..." Pavitr confessed.

"Love can come in strange ways..."

"Who's talking of love, Pavitr?" Hobie asked playfully.

"Well.." you whispered.

"What else?" Gwen almost jumped, needing to know more. You were starting to like her more. So you started narrating the flashback.

Once again, both of you were back on a rooftop. It was almost 2:00am.

"I-, I liked this..." Miguel managed to say. Looking down at you, trying to regain his neutral and serious tone and look. But after spending hours with you, it seemed impossible.

"Me too. You were so caring, and thank you for being so comprehensive" Your excitement match your words, not that Miguel cared. But he realized you had jumped and grabbed both of his hands. And before you pulled away, he was caressing your knuckles.

"It was nothing..."

"Are you coming tomorrow?" He asked, ignoring the way he always tells everyone he doesn't like touching or any type of contact.

"I think I stopped being a half-time employee some time ago..." he nodded, smiling.

"True."

Hands were still holding. And none of you wanted to break the touch.

"Till tomorrow then..." you said, sad to break the touch but happy for everything that happened that night.

And with that, you saw Miguel opening a portal, and you left.

"NO - FUCKING - WAY!" Gwen yelled.

"Are you sure you weren't dreaming while drunk?"

"No, Peter. I can't drink yet" he snorted as if he had heard something incredible. Gwen couldn't stop looking lost, taking time to digest the information, Pavitr too, and Hobie was... being Hobie.

"Dude looks nice with her. I heard him laugh the other day," Hobie stated.

"Me too. And he canceled a meeting to go and train her," Pavitr added.

"He's, like, the last person I imagined you would say you had a date with."

"It wasn't a date..." you said.

"IT WASN'T A DATE?. Girl, he had dinner with your family, listened to your boring old books for hours, and held your hands for... five or eight minutes?"

"Okay. maybe it unconsciously turned into a date." They all nodded in agreement.

"Oh, my god... Was it a date?"

Peter sighed as he watched you laugh with Hobie. Soon went straight towards Miguel's lair. The man greeted him with a silent wave, before returning to look at all of the recordings and screens playing them.

".. y/n is very happy. Did you two have fun last night?" He asked Miguel once stepped further.

"I'm not discussing this with you," the broad man approached to say.

Peter loved you like family. He wanted you to be happy and safe.

He trusted Miguel after knowing each other. But he wasn't sure if you two had a bright future. After all, Peter saw how Miguel changed so much after losing Gabriella.

"I don't want to discuss this with you either."

"So?"

"Look, she's like family. You are like family too. I want her to be happy. And you too, man. But... I want you to think... Is it correct?" Miguel stopped looking at the screens.

"We can't lose her. And I don't want to see another era of pain and collapse" It hit him.

What was he thinking? Letting all of his feelings take over him. He couldn't be in love; it wasn't meant for him.

Your canon was unsure, delicate. And his... was doomed. He imagined having to see you gone, and he wasn't ready to find out. He wasn't ready to go through that pain again. And he didn't want to see you in pain.

"Just think... because maybe it's meant to be, but-"

"No. You're right..." Miguel accepted.

Peter grew quiet.

"After y/n leaves tonight. Call the others, except Hobie..." Peter nodded unsure, wondering what was Miguel plotting.

Miguel made a decision. Losing you was going to save both of you. Or so he thought.

...

Weird.

The cafeteria was quiet.

Then a piece of your suit ripped off.

And spider-cat was absent!!!

Then, you didn't see Miguel the day before. When you asked Lyla, she said he was swamped with his job, so you would not make him stressed. Plus, having some space after spending the night together would be great.

"Hey!" You called Hobie when he sat next to you on a bench. He was used to visiting you in your universe. He liked the food and how the people complained about something new daily.

"Something feels weird," he blurted, tilting his head.

"RIGHT?. I thought I was the only one" he nodded and sighed. That was also weird; Hobie never hesitated to spit the words out.

"What?"

"Yesterday. After you left, Peter called everyone except for me. It seemed weird that just as you left, he called everyone to get a lecture from Miguel," Another weird thing. Why you and Hobie would be excluded? Well, he rarely followed rules, but he was always included in briefings.

"Miguel stopped wasting his time with me, But a meeting without you?" Maybe it wasn't anything. Perhaps a simple meeting. There had been some occasions where you had not been present.

"Do you wanna go out and ignore why we were excluded?" you asked playfully. He nodded with a cocky smile.

"Hell yeah..." Both of you left in seconds.

Spending time with Spider-punk was always fun. Hobie made you remember things like; fuck it, just do it.

But for the first hour, you didn't find anyone. Even when the headquarters of the Spider Society were big, you thought it would have been easier.

By the evening, you find yourself eating an empanada, thinking of Miguel. Accepting you started missing him.

"Guys!.." Gwen called you and Hobie, appearing from an elevator that had opened.

"Don't ask anything yet..." you nodded to him.

"We were busy being scolded by Miguel. But there's a new mission we need to go to. And he wants us all, let's go..." Hobie and you exchanged looks, not buying Gwen's words.

You got too carried away, forming possible explanations for her weird behavior. Why you hadn't seen your friends the day before?. And why you and Hobie were excluded from the last meeting?.

When you follow Gwen, you didn't even look at Pavitr taking Hobie away.

As soon as you entered the room, Jessica, Peter, and Miguel were inside.

"Where's Hobie?" Miguel asked. You also turn confused, because he was right behind you.

"He was right here..." Gwen mumbled, looking around, making Miguel sigh tired.

He didn't look at you for the first minutes of the debriefing. The more he ignored your presence, the more your questions emerged.

"Everyone get ready... except for y/n," he announced with his neutral and cold face.

"Why?"

"You're going home."

"WHAT?" you screamed.

At the end of the day, Miguel wasn't ready for this. But he was doing his best, even if it meant lying to you.

"Your canon is changing, constantly glitching. We can't risk anything happening. I'm sending you home..." he explained like nothing.

"No, please. I'm not a danger. If it was something bad, it would've happened already" he kept looking straight at the doors, not even moving.

It hurt you that he was still unsure of you, especially after everything he said in your home.

"It's for the best."

"Can we talk... In private?" You whispered, taking his forearm. He slowly moved away, making you feel the pain grow.

"There's nothing to talk about"

"Oh really?. I think we do. What about the other day?"

"It wasn't a coincidence that you appeared after someone tried opening portals in your earth," you gasped in shock.

"I did recruit you for the sake of the  Spider Society. I needed to know you were not a threat."

"You said I was special" he managed to hear you whisper. And it was tearing him.

"You are. But a potential danger too. Which is why l'm sending you home.." you shake your head, fighting the tears rapidly forming in your eyes.

"All of you knew about this?" You asked, looking at Peter, Gwen, and Jessica.

The pregnant woman bowed her head while Gwen looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't.

"We do this because we care for and want to protect you..."

"Really? This is not what friends do. All you do is lie and lie to me!" you said with a broken voice.

"I'm sorry," Miguel admitted looking down.

"GOD, STOP LYING" you yelled.

"Tell me I meant nothing to you. Or admit you might be scared of the possibility of falling in love with me..."

"There is no love in this equation. You have made all of this in your head." he broke you. You swore you heard your heart decreasing its heartbeats.

"For one minute, I thought you... felt the same, that you cared" As he stood there quietly, you started crying.

To everyone's shock, it was the first time they saw you crying. Gwen tried to reach you, but you stepped back, moving away from all of them.

At the same time, Pavitr and Hobie entered the room.

"Something weird happened. You might want to see this, boss," Pavitr announced.

"It was dope..." Hobie admitted leaning on the door frame. But stood quiet after watching you crying.

The moment turned uneasy, debating whether to go or stay with you.

"Please, let's go, and then we'll talk with tranquility about this," Peter told you. Giving a look that he wasn't happy with seeing you cry.

Slowly, you followed them. Ignoring Miguel's look.

Then you thought, What was the point of following them? If they would send you home after that?.

Anger wasn't a good feeling, but it was blinding you. All the fantastic facade they sold of being good friends. The months Miguel lied to you. He could have done it differently. But he even dared to agree to have dinner with your family.

He held your hands and made you believe there was a chance. He made you believe you weren't dangerous, that you could be in control of your fate.

So you stopped following them and turned to the lower plant of the building, deciding to that you would choose  what you wanted, not what they thought it was correct.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group watched how all of the canon was held together. Until your specific web was expanded.

Your web was tiny, like a baby's. It glitched a lot, but when Miguel entered with the others, he noticed the glitch was even more aggressive than ever.

There were only two canon moments; you getting bit and joining the Spider Society. But there were new ones forming. And from the shiny dot, a new line grew.

"What the hell?" Peter asked in disbelief.

"This isn't possible..." Jess whispered.

Lyla was following your web and paying attention. Until she saw the first new canon event. You would lose your best friend, and the time was quickly coming. Gwen lowered her head, lamenting for what you would suffer, just like her.

But then, your thread started moving and growing until it was connected to another one: Miguel's.

And from that connection, a new canon event was officially established.

You and Miguel together.

"Holy sh-" Gwen almost said but couldn't finish the sentence.

"Does this mean..." Jessica started.

"She's part of your canon," Peter confirmed.

Miguel was in shock; his eyes remained on what the model displayed. Your masked figured siding his. You were really meant for him. He hadn't need to worry about it ending in disaster. Still, it didn't soothe him.

"Uh-boss? Our pretty little y/n started a countdown to return home and temporarily block the entrance to her earth," Lyla announced, appearing beside Miguel.

He turned to look at her, worried.

"What?"

"I tried stopping her, but I believe she's growing her cosmic powers?" the day couldn't get more complicated for Spider-Man 2099.

"Cosmic powers?" Peter asked, running after Miguel, who started heading towards the exit.

Lyla, crossed her arms looking at everyone starting running. She couldn't admit it to anyone. That if your issue wasn't fixed, something darker could happen.

The Al couldn't throw salt in Miguel's wound.

"Jessica, send help. Lyla, stop her," he demanded. Jessica nodded, and Lyla disappeared.

"There's no spider with cosmic powers. But y/n was a bit between universes. So maybe she has some of them or..."

"Peter shut up!. I just can't lose her!" If you were Miguel's destiny, he would do things right. And he regretted setting up all of the secret meetings and lies.

He rushed to get to you faster than anyone. He wasn't even sure the blocking earth thing worked.

Maybe he was exaggerating, but he was willing to set the alarms so everyone would try to stop him.

If he had waited a day, none of this would've happened. But he had understood once that things happened for a reason; canon.

So as fast as he was running, something inside told him it was already late.

Peter and Gwen followed close to him, ready to find you prepared to leave.

The panic finally settled when they entered the dark room, and you were already behind the colorful barrier.

"NO!. Please, y/n" You turned to hear Miguel's voice calling you.

Your look was empty, but the anger was there. He kept calling for you, but you didn't say a word.

All of you wanted was to leave. Sleep and forget you were a spiderwoman. Ease the pain of your broken heart. And accept that no matter if you were the only variant of yourself in all the universes, you were meant to choose your own destiny.

You bolted, when he had you face to face, you were gone.

Confused, you appeared on a random street in Downtown LA. Your suit was ripped, your hair was a mess, and the tears didn't seem to stop. A wave of cold air hit you, making you shiver and hug yourself.

Feeling broken and in shock, you found yourself stepping on a broken glass bottle. Your left foot instantly started bleeding, making you fall to your knees.

That's when you no longer held the tears; you just let all the sobs take over.

You shouldn't have accepted to join the Spider Society; you shouldn't have pushed your crush for Miguel.

I hate this. I hate this. God, I hate this...

With no more strength, you stood up. And tottering, you started walking towards home.

It was okay; it would be okay.

________________________

Cringe in general? Maybe… part two?

[suguru-getos]

Happy Birthday Keigo! 🎉

-> Hawks x F!Reader

A/N: Mentions of Keigo’s birthday in the Takami household, along with your son. <3 This is just pure, self indulgent fluff tbh. I was gonna write smut that can come later 🤭❤️‍🔥 happy birthday to the love of my life, the light of my life - Takami Keigo ^^

As the number two hero of Japan, the most sought out, the most popular & famous. Keigo’s birthday sure isn’t all that sought out. He’s busy with meetings & PR, while you thought you could spend the birthday eve with him. You’re so annoyed but at the same time helpless— what can you do really? It’s not like he is purposely doing this. Purposely being busy… he’s not.

Your eyes dart towards the clock. 12:00 am on the dot. You pout, rummaging through the bedsheets to find your phone. Fine, you can make do with a text message. Calling him while he’s in a meeting gets embarrassing for others moreso than Hawks. You see, he has no regard for other people. He would simper around, call you his baby, say he loves you… while other people would awkwardly try to stomach the #2 hero being whipped. You pout when you open his text tab, typing out a short.

You (12:00 am): Happy birthday daddy! <33

The message isn’t seen yet, and you sulk harder, shoulders drooping as you sigh & lean against the bedsheets. Yep, you could much rather scroll through TikTok instead. At least, the Hawks fandom would be active & would care about his birthday. Something you have in commonality.

Your son was peacefully asleep in his room. He’s turning three soon, and you couldn’t really wait to see him grow. Thoughts of him already idolising Keigo ripple through your mind as you smile faintly. That’s when you’re invited into a lull slumber.

The next morning when you’re awake, you pout instantly. Fucked was your whole plan to spend his birthday eve together. Keigo had officially turned 27 today. A low rumble of his melodious voice echoed through the kitchen, mingled with the clattering of your son’s indulgent ‘helper’ whines as he prepares stuff with Dadda. Your heart warms, and you quickly rush.

“Good morning Kei, morning Ai.” You call him, and your son who’s wings puff up instantly upon seeing his mother. “Mama mornin!” He chirps, and Keigo grins back, “Oh good morning sunshine, you look gorgeous— haven’t told ya that everyday as if~” Keigo scoffed dramatically, leaning in and kissing you softly.

“Happy birthday…” you hum, running your hands through his hair, forgetting everything and why you were a little testy upon him. “Thank you babygirl.” He croons, nuzzling against your neck and giving a chaste kiss.

“M’ sorry I was so carried away by work y’know. Hate to be the hero sometimes.” He winked, ushering you towards your seat in the dining area. “Made yer favorite!” He beams, loitering through the culinary crockery.

“It’s your birthday, I’m the one who’s supposed to do the spoiling!” You audibly whine, making Aideen (your son), giggle up. “Mama spoilin’!!” He repeated innocently, and you nodded with a grin. “Yes baby, today’s Dadda’s birthday.” You hum, kissing his cheek. “C’mon, wish him a happy birthday.”

Your son glanced up at Keigo, who’s eyes softened instantly at the two individuals he would cut his heart up for. Ai tried, fumbling a soft, “Appy bufday Dadda” but the cheerfulness of the wish has Keigo’s eyes waver & gloss up. You pat Ai on the head, grinning. “Oh good boy, that was such a good birthday wish!”

The thing is, you and Keigo didn’t have to try the whole ‘gentle parenting’ thing ever. Luckily, you knew exactly what were the good parts you would like to pick up from your parents. Keigo knew exactly what he doesn’t want to be. Parenting came naturally. Though, there were times you found Hawks rather confused… but you were always there with him, holding a hand.

“Ai’s gonna start Nursery soon.” You hum, while cutting up the fruits and dipping them in maple syrup. “Yeah, I know Sweetie.” Keigo smiled, looking at you and scanning your face for any emotion remotely close to worry. “You know he’s going to do well, right?” He asks, hand reflectively brushing against yours.

“Yeah, but he’s the son of a very famous Hero.” You looked up, biting your lip a little out of nervousness. You haven’t been a celebrity kid. Hell you don’t even know how it would feel. These past four years with your man has only taught you never to go out without looking your best. You’ve been papped several times after all.

In the begining of the relationship, it was so troublesome and hard for you. Wherever you went with Hawks — the paparazzi followed like a flock. You & Keigo both have been successful in hiding Ai’s face from the media so long. Part of you wants to keep him safe so that no one could ever see what your son looks like, let alone trouble him.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the school would be incredibly secure. I’d ask you to get him homeschooled but then I know we both don’t wanna deprave him off a normal life yeah?” Keigo coos, kissing your forehead. You nod, seemingly half-convinced still.

“Mmm, how about I send a silly little feather along?” You perk up at that idea, that was fantastic!

“That sounds okay. That way you’d know what’s up.” You smiled, observing his golden eyes dilate the moment a smile festered on your face. Gosh he was so visible with all his desperate and unconditional love towards you.

“Atta girl! Keep that smile on for me all day! Today’s my birthday and I get to have whatever I want.” Keigo grinned wide, and you nodded in approval.

“So I was thinkin’ maybe we could go out today… y’know like one of those times when I book a sneazy comfy place where there’s snow & there’s warm fireplace & there’s a lotta~” he leaned in, whispering the next part, “sex.”

You cackled, you knew Ai wouldn’t understand yet, but he’s of that age where he continually repeats words over & over. He repeated ‘Fuck’ over and over once Keigo slipped it out & had you reign hell fire upon the house. That was the first and the last time your husband did that mistake though. Ever so sharp & ever so careful (mostly).

“I’m in, want to spend all my time with you.” You confessed like a blushy highschooler, and Keigo grinned.

“Well a fuckin’ happy birthday to me then!”

“Fuckin’ appy bufday!” Ai repeated.

“Oh- no.” Hawks facepalmed.

[aguinhac]

There's a phenomenal that I don't know if it's a UT AU community only or not but the longer an au is out there's the more that au changes? Not that it changes but the fandom distorts the au to a point where that change is accepted as canon, Not by the creator of the au, but by the fandom. Error considered edgy or horror a cannibal, it's kinda cool when you think about it, but I think no au this phenomenal has happened this much as with PJ and Gradient

Why don't we play a little game? I'm gonna say two character descriptions and you guess which of these two I'm talking about.

One is a 14 year old and are basically the sans version of a DeviantArt kid, Taking this from their creators blog : "They can't help but create but everything they makes is never good enough or it looks terrible to them. so they will try to delete their work not long after with a few exceptions." And "they are like a 13 year old deviantart user that creates bad recolor characters for under novella and brags that their work is the best while hating it at the same time." they currently live in the omega timeline.

The other is a 24 year old, they should be 21 but they took 3 years to be born so they kinda jumped from 21 to 24, they can alter their form only slightly, for their personality their own creator described them as more monotoned, and less expressive/more serious, though they can open up to individuals over a long period of time, they are still curious about the world around them and can bring child like awe wonder/emotion to specific events/situations, they also do vent art and destroy it not long after.

And their most famous ship is with fresh...

....

IN WHAT WORLD IS GRADIENT 14?? AND WHAT EVEN CRAZIER WORLD IS PAPER JAM 24??? WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT? THE FANDOM TAUGHT ME PJ WAS A UWU BOI, NOT A DEPRESSED ONE. WHAT DID DOCTOR STRANGE FUCK UP SO NOW IN THIS TIMELINE PJ IS OLDER THAN GRADIENT??? I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT IT WAS THE OTHER WAS AROUND.

And I've dug deeper into it, I've dug through the wikis and you wanna know what I found? from the most famous of ink kids (those being Pallete, Gradient, Blueprint, Moku, Paper Jam, and Splatter) Paper jam would actually be the oldest of ink's kids, only losing to Rurik who's also 24 but Rurik is from an Underfell au which in turn makes him IRRELEVANT.

and not only that, gradient would be the penultimate of ink's children, only losing to Splatter who's 12 and maybe in some cases to blueprint considering he doesn't have a canon age and is just between 14-18 but his creator likes to think they are 17 so gradient continues to be the penultimate.

But not only that I have dug deeper, Turns out that gradient and splash are NOT ink's kids, THEY ARE ACTUALLY FUSIONS, GRADIENT HAS NEVER EVEN MET ERROR OR INK.

I feel cheated, I trusted the fandom, and turns out everything they told me was a LIE.

THE FANDOM HAS LIED, AND TRICKED US FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND WE NEVER EVEN SUSPECTED.

@7goodangel @roseworks WOMANS, THESE ARE YOUR CHARACTERS WHAT THE HELL.

Here's where I got the info from...

Gradient's personality (and age)

Gradient is NOT a errorink child

Gradient lives in the omega timeline

Paper Jam's personality

Paper jam does vent art

Paper jam's real age

And as a bonus

Paper Jam's Bio

I'm going back to dreamtale, or the star sanses, I don't care I just don't want any more of this madness.

Just to be clear I'm still gonna do comics with gradient being a errorink child...

I'm so tired... Mentally and phisically... This took so long....

[biancadoes1]

does anyone have any theories about when a possible NDA would be done? This whole situation with the bread crumbs they give(her ring will always save me during a bad day…lol) and the adjacent side stories… this feels so crazy. Like am i I watching real life unfold or a soap opera…lol. I actually do understand why some people think this fandom is nuts, because it can appear that way to the outside that isn’t fully invested. And yet what we believe makes a hell of a lot more sense than the public narrative when you really look at things. I don’t know, just overthinking today. And I appreciate I have a place to talk about it

I don't agree with the public or majority narrative on what happened here.

To me, it doesn't make sense with everything Nicola has been trying to say and what she hasn't been saying.

As far as NDA's go, no one is certain one exists but many have a strong suspicion that there is one (or multiple 👀) in play with a (or a few 👀👀) certain individual(s).

Why do people feel there is one or multiple? The silence after Sorrento was deafening. We had a solid six or more weeks with friend group fuckery, disrespectfully doxxing their much more talented and famous friend and after the papgate 2.0..........nothing.

Here's the thing. NDA's are common in these types of situations where maybe someone cuts a deal for exposure in return for not talking about whatever it is people don't want getting out.

They can range in time frame and complexity but they are common and it's absolutely NOT out of the question or DELULU (I'm beginning to hate this fucking word) to think that one is in play here.

Just because people can't think of a reason why there would be one DOES NOT mean that there isn't one. It's just that we don't know the stipulations or why one needs to exist.

But again, this is just speculation 👀

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  dartlekey! @dartlekey has 11 fics in the Stranger Things Fandom and 9 of them are in the Steddie tag!.

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @dartlekey:

If you were church (I'd get on my knees)

RUSH! (T4T REMIX)

At a medium pace

With great power

"I read the "with great power" series not long after I got into the Steddie fandom and was instantly like "I need to raid this author's other fics" and subscribed to them. No regrets for that choice!!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @dartlekey answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

For me, Steddie hits that sweet spot of strong characterization but woefully underexplored details, both for the individual characters but also their dynamic with each other in canon. That makes their relationship the ideal writer's sandbox - since they're both so fluid, you can explore the characters through each other, showcasing many different and even conflicting facets of each other while still retaining their original characters and behaviors. Either of them can be rich or poor, famous or an everyguy, Gay or Bisexual, Dom or Sub, Top or Bottom, Trans in any direction - the details are up to you! 

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good slowburn friends-to-lovers fic. It needs to be a specific kind for me though - I'm not much one for prolonged pining, but I love it when the friendship is explored in such depth that the next step feels like an inevitability. Watching that deep platonic affection turn not-so-platonic, that's the good shit. 

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

My specialty as a writer, I think, is crack treated seriously, or crack with a twist. Usually the first question that sparks one of my fics is “If X happened, would that be hilarious or what?” and then the second is “But if it was because of Y, would that be fucked up or what?” I think you can see it best in If you were church I'd get on my knees (what if Steve was a stripper at Eddie's stag party BUT it was actually a social commentary on queerness and sexuality in the face of religious oppression), but it's in At a medium pace too (what if Eddie couldn't move his arms because of injury so Steve “has” to jerk him off, but it's actually about how growing up queer can warp your perspective on healthy sexuality) , or even in Don't look back (What if Eddie had to dom Steve for plot reasons, but it's all body horror and trauma and spiraling codependency). 

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I don’t think I could name one all-time favorite, because what I enjoy most about fanfic is that different writers bring different character interpretations, storytelling styles and plot ideas to the table, which I find incomparable. I have enjoyed many of the well-known classics, of course (pukner I owe you my life--), but let me use this chance to give a shout-out to some less well-known masterpieces! My top three underrated fics are Three Days on the Red Planet by CaptainHoney/@grandmastattoo on tumblr (retro scifi, gritty but humorous hopepunk, every single fic of theirs is a certified banger but I love this one the most for some reason!!), Love dirty men alike by wrenowich (chef au, an ode to kitchen culture in all its griminess, I love a detailed backstory plus Steddie being wonderfully weird about each other), and That’s just wasteland, baby! by fastcardotmp3 (post-s4 apocalypse survival, sweet and aching and tired and yet hopeful, made me cry in the best way). 

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

One that's pretty unique to the steddie fandom, or perhaps general stranger things fandom, is “if canon event x had happened differently/hadn't happened at all/had happened to a different person, how would the rest of canon change?” I still need to work out a lot of details in my head, so that's all I'll say for now, but it's something I'm very interested in exploring.

What is your writing process like?

Much to the horror of fic writers everywhere, I don't do first drafts, I just write out everything in detail, scene by scene in chronological order. I edit as I go, and consider the many-numbered, often unplanned writing breaks an important part of my process - when I let the written portion sit for a while and the unwritten ideas percolate in my brain for a bit, I often end up with new plot points or solutions for problems I've been having! And when that inspiration strikes, I can write anywhere - on the train, during lunch break at work, in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store… I have gdocs on my phone and I use it liberally; I'd say I write at least 80% of any given fic on my phone. 

Do you have any writing quirks?

Apart from the hot mess I just described, I'd say it's that I never use Beta readers. I'll occasionally ask friends to help with specific details if I need an expert on certain subject matter, but I've found I get very grumpy and fussy if someone pokes at my plot (even if or rather especially if they’re right lol), and I don't want to subject anyone to that. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

For oneshots or series comprised of single-chapter fics I like posting as soon as I'm done, but for multi-chapter works I've recently found that starting to post only after I've finished most (if not all) chapters beforehand improves the quality of the story! Since I tend to integrate new ideas or shift around plot points a lot while writing, I often end up in completely different places than my original concept, so if an early chapter isn't posted yet I can retroactively edit it to add foreshadowing or tone-match the end of the work, remove loose threads and suchlike. Don't look back is a good example of how this has worked out for me; comparatively It don't bite (Yes it do) - which I wrote and posted chapter by chapter - is tonally all over the place. 

Which fic are you most proud of?

Naturally I love all my babies, but I consider Don't look back my magnum opus - both because it is the longest fic I've ever written (13 chapters and 90.000 words in total, that's practically a novel!) and because it's the most plot-rich, labor-intensive, and overall serious in tone. I even worked in subplots about the rest of the cast, so it almost reads like its own season. I wrote it for last year's Steddie Bigbang, which means there's also a gorgeous accompanying artwork by @the-chilly-kat. 

How did you get the idea for With great power?

At the time I'd seen a few marvel AUs floating past me on the tumblr timeline, usually with Steve as Spiderman and Eddie as the human component of Venom, and having just recently seen the Venom movie depicting the rich relationship between Eddie Brock and the symbiote, it surprised me that most left the symbiote as its own character, and not substituted one of the ST main cast. The symbiotic relationship of Stobin immediately came to mind, though I also still loved the idea of Steve as Spidey - then I remembered that in the Toby McGuire movies, the two are not mutually exclusive, and it all spiraled from there. Eddie as Deadpool just made sense - immortal wild-card with a dubious moral code but a heart of gold? Obviously! Plus Spideypool is, of course, a classic ship. 

When writing With great power, what was something you didn’t expect?

I actually got several curious comments about the sex toy Steve uses in Because the night - a grindable or grinder, which is a flat-ish silicone structure, usually ribbed in an interesting way, that one can grind against to get off (as the name suggests). I thought it was pretty common, but apparently it's not very well known!

What inspired  RUSH! (T4T REMIX)?

Oh, it's my time to gush! Because the idea for the first work actually came about from a late night conversation I had with the beautiful, amazing, wonderful @maikaartwork, back when we were, how should I say, in the courting stage? Seeing as we met through the Steddie fandom, I decided to write Baby Said basically to seduce them - and I am happy to say it worked, as we've been dating for over eight months now and are planning to move in together next year! Both works from RUSH! - T4T REMIX (and the secret new WIP, shh) are thus somewhat inspired by our conversations and our t4t relationship, but also by the many interesting and different trans people I've met over the years, and trans solidarity and relationships in general.

What was your favorite part to write from At a medium pace?

The small-talk in between position changes - no, really! I love a mindless marathon-fuck story as much as the next person, but there's something very sweet and intimate about those little breaks in sex, the pass the lube, move your leg a bit, what's for dinner later of it all. That's where you see that emotional connection - there's no admission of crushes or big love confessions in this fic because it's right there in the details.

How do/did you feel writing RUSH! (T4T REMIX)?

Honestly, it's just really really fun and self-indulgent. The Steddie dynamic in it is so bitchy, all the bickering makes me laugh even as I'm writing it. It's also just really fun to write about the trans experience in a way that is curious and loving, and reflects all the very different and yet similar ways people experience living in a body that defies expectation. I've loved all my fellow trans people sounding off in the comments about their own transition experiences, it's wonderful to have such a fantastic community!

What was the most difficult part of writing If you were church (I'd get on my knees)?

Curiously enough, not the many religious trauma bits! Much like Eddie in the fic, I'm only church-freak adjacent - I grew up in a non-religious household but with extended family that were extremely catholic, so the odd juxtaposition of being occasionally close to but definitely not involved in what is pretty much cult behavior inspired much of this fic. The most functionally difficult part to write was actually the wedding - as an aro-spec & trans relationship anarchist, church weddings have never been relevant to me, so I had very little idea what actually goes into one! Very little of the research I conducted on the topic actually made it into the fic, but hey, the more you know. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

People keep asking me that, and I never know what to answer! If I had to pick one, though, maybe the last few paragraphs of Don't look back - where you can see the tragedy coming, but there's no way of stopping it, because it was always going to end this way. And then Eddie's last words before the end of the fic call back to the title as well as the general theme of the fic - it just all comes together for such a crescendo of an ending. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Yes, actually! Coming soon in the SteddieBang'24, me and my lovely artist @hawkinsleather have been working hard on a 20k post-s4 fic called A glimpse of your canvas, which is about closeted transfemme!Eddie, women's solidarity, and Steve's very confusing no-good trip to the gay bar. Both With great power and RUSH! (T4T REMIX) have another WIP pending which I'll eventually finish (I promise, I'm just easily distracted!!), and for those who are still mad about Don't look back’s open ending, I'm almost done with the sequel, which features a lot of bad decisions by all characters involved, the healing power of community, and a bit of accidental child acquisition. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Given the chance of this platform, I would like to notify my readers that I'm a terrible procrastinator when it comes to replying to comments, but I read and cherish every one of them - and repeat commenters, I see you, I love you, I am chewing on your arm like a dog with a bone!! I would also like to thank the steddie fandom in general for giving me the hottest partner known to man or God, and for the many friendships I've been so fortunate to build here. Talk about transformative works, am I right? <3 

Thank you to our author, @dartlekey, and our anonymous nominator! See more of dartlekey's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[momentomori24]

I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.

"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?

I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀

These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?

Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).

This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.

We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.

This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.

[zeroducks-2]

2/16/20/22/25 violence ask game GO

Help I realized now how many are there lmfao alright here we go

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Actually I don't really have it? I mean I do have a preference when it comes to blorbo roles in bed but it's not that strict. I don't think Dick would ever top WITH SLADE though, and my compelling argument is that he prefers bottoming and Slade wouldn't fucking let him top lmao

But then again this IS the choose violence ask game, so I am gonna choose violence:

I'm fed the fuck up with the whole "if you have strict sex roles for your blorbos you are a reactionary fascist enforcer of gender stereotypes whatever, or anyway the heteronormative society brainwashed you, especially if the 'shorter man bottoms' and the 'bigger man tops'". Like shut the trap man. First of all cause my sexual preferences are not up for political scrutiny because they are just that - sexual preferences when it comes to fiction - and second because this is the exact kind of piece of shit virtue signaling antis do, injecting moral and political bullshit in what people do for harmless fun in their free time. And third because acting like in real life people didn't have strict preferences for topping or bottoming makes me think you never interacted with real life people.

Like yeah lots of folks are versatile in bed. There are also lots of folks who are strictly tops, and lots of folks who are strictly bottoms. Go out and talk to people, you will find out incredible things I promise.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

The whole "batfamily" being a happy wholesome family with all of them being supportive loving siblings UwU and living all together in Wayne Manor each one with their cute little personalized room that Alfred cleans every morning after breakfast. These folks do not communicate with each other and have never lived together. They lack the basics foundation to be a big happy family. Yes they love each other, yes some of them are closer to each other than others, and yes there are moments of tenderness, but why the hell would anyone push this Hamtaro-esque "everyone lives in a wholesome house of happiness🌻✨" bs is completely beyond me.

It makes no sense and it's just so utterly divorced from the actual state of canon, and from just everything that defines these characters as individuals and as a group.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Well the DC canon is so vast there's actually lots of canon I found boring. I guess when it comes to blorbos, I was not able to stomach the entirety of the Ric Grayson storyline. Like honestly it was most of all boring as fuck.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

EOBARD BEING IN LOVE WITH BARRY.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"You guys don't write about/draw/create meta about female characters because you're sexist"

I've explained why this is utter bullshit many times but to be honest, with DC it is especially annoying. There is a HUGE fandom for female DC characters, even for those that have not appeared officially in comics for more than a decade. DC has some of the most beloved, celebrated (and famous!) female characters IN THE WORLD (Batgirl, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Harley Quinn), and if there aren't decent titles dedicated to them you need to blame DC, not the fans. Also sometimes there are decent titles with their fanbase of art and fanfics and metas, and yall complaining just because you're addicted to virtue signaling.

"Ah but Zero! I like X female character that appeared a total of 10 times 25 years ago, and all I can find are Jason Todd fanarts!" Let me stop you right there my friend, and ask you whose fault is it that X female character hasn't appeared in 25 years, which means no one fucking knows who she is so they don't draw fanarts and write fanfictions. DC comics executives, or the fandom? You think I'm happy that post reboot they acted like Cassandra and Stephanie didn't even exist? You think I'm happy that Barbara's struggle and journey to learn to live with her disability and become the backbone of the superhero society was thrown in the trash? You think I'm happy that Pat Trayce is relegated to ONE ridiculous cameo in Deathstroke 2016? Or that no one has seen Jenni Ognats since the fucking 90s? IS ALL OF THIS THE FANDOM'S FAULT, OR DCs' ??? (I'm done)

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE PEOPLE WHO GO "bUt zErO iT'S miSogynisTiC to bReaK uP a HeT CaNoN shiP to pUSh tHe faNoN gAy cOUpLe" You don't belong in fandom and you clearly have no idea how it works. And if you DO know how it works, you're either a psyop or a hardcore homophobe, or both, and you don't belong in fandom and you should fuck off faster than light. (okay I am actually done now)

Ask game here!

[radiosummons]

Do you guys ever wonder if Obi-Wan had a moment where he just, I don't know, sat down and thought about the sheer number of Sith coming after him and only him specifically?

I know it's pretty much just a meme at this point in the SW fandom that Obi-Wan has something like a sixth sense or something for attracting literally almost every Dark Side user in the nearest vicinity.

But, like ... if you remember how Obi-Wan is potrayed as a Jedi Initiate and later on as a Padawan, it's kinda crazy/hilarious to think about how this super anxious and emotional kid, who constantly questioned whether he would ever measure up to the expectations placed on him (by himself and others), went on to not only become one of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy but also a sort of legend in his own right. And then straight up became so popular that even the Sith couldn't ignore him.

And this arguably all sort of started after he defeated Maul (for the first time), who was believed at the time to be the first Sith/Sith Lord to appear in over a millenium. And not only did he gain the title of Sith Killer, but he later joined the Jedi Council as one of their youngest members and then went on to play a pivotal role in the Clone Wars as High General.

Like ... he was already a pretty big deal in his own right before the Clone Wars even began. But once the war was in full swing, the man never fucking stopped.

Besides obvious plot and writing reasons, it does sort of make sense then for all these Sith and Dark Side users to constantly target Obi-Wan. I mean, what Sith wouldn't wanna have at least one go at the legendary "Sith Killer?" Why wouldn't they want to test their abilities against a famous Jedi, especially when their head honcho Sith Lord is all but begging them to do everything they can to just fucking end him?

But then, of course, because Obi-Wan is Obi-Wan and he's never one to back down from a challenge, I do find it very compelling and hilarious that his go to reaction when faced with a Sith/Dark Sider is to just taunt and drag them for filth. It's almost like he can't help himself. He's just so clearly unimpressed with them and it's really funny to see the Sith/Dark Sider he's facing get riled up over that. They take is so fucking personally. Every. Single. Time.

Like: "How fucking dare he not take me seriously! How dare he imply that I'm not his equal! How dare he criticize my fashion sense and my abilities in the force! How dare he try to lecture me on the better way to execute my attacks (even if that was actually sort of helpful advice, but I will die before I ever admit that)!"

The fucking gall of this guy, amiright fellas?

So to get back to my original point: Do you guys think Obi-Wan ever regretted his flirting/taunting tactics? Because clearly all those ever did was sort of encourage the Sith/Dark Siders he faced to become a little bit more obsessed with him. Maybe even a little enamored (not in a romantic sense, but no shame to those who like this interpretation). It's weird 'cause aside from Darth Sidious, most of the Sith Obi-Wan encounters seem to sort of respect him? If not on an individual level, at they very least they respect him as a worthy opponent and fighter.

(Small aside: I don't know if I'd go so far as to say Maul ever truly respected Obi-Wan. I'm sure on some level he must have because he literally made obsessing over Obi-Wan his entire personality. But I'd concede that maybe somewhere, deep deep DEEP down in his tiny little cockroach of a heart, Maul respected Obi-Wan enough to at least hate him to the point that even death could not stop him from continuing to wreak havoc on his life.)

And while, yes, this tactic is very amusing to watch and clearly a quite successful one ... I can't help but wonder if maybe it works a little too well. Lord knows Anakin/Darth Vader and Maul never got over Obi-Wan's little taunts. And Asajj seemed to all but look forward to trading witty remarks with him at every given opportunity, even when they were temporary allies. Dooku, of course, basically went full grandpa mode trying to reconnect with his grandson and then took full offense to said grandson not buying into his Sithy bullshit. Obi-Wan didn't even give Dooku a chance to finish submitting his request for adoption/Force custody before dragging his ass for failing Qui-Gon.

I'm almost willing to bet that if Obi-Wan had been alone in a room with Darth Sidious (master plan and true identity fully revealed), Sheev would just withered to an even wrinklier raisin after the absolute READ Obi-Wan would have given him.

Tldr: I just think the idea of a worn out Obi-Wan lying face down on the floor while regretting all his life choices--mainly the whole "I must throw my opponents off by flirting as much as possible. Yes, this is an actual tactic and not am excusable way I can be petty while not violating the Jedi Code"--is a fucking hilarious mental image.

[fanfic-recs-01]

Batfam Fics

This is pretty much just all the Damian Wayne/Jon Kent and Jason Todd/Roy Harper fics I like on Ao3

Jayroy

AO3 is Flooded With Arsenal/Jason Todd and It's All Your Fault by xxELF21xx 

~The Internet has a new favourite ship, Jason and Roy watch the world burn.~

ladies and gentlemen will you please stand by bittlebarnes (monroesherlock)Fandoms:

~“Roy and I are getting married,” Jason blurts, and it’s like the entire room stops.

Dick reaches over to slap Bruce on the back because he’s fucking choking on his dinner, but Bruce waves him off and finally swallows.

“What ? Jason, no, you’re not. Why would you say something like that?”~

If your real dad isn't present store bought is fine by Here_we_go

~“Daddy!” the voice screams and suddenly something collides with Jason’s legs. He looks down, it’s a child, black hair, brown eyes, tiny little overalls and a tiny little backpack. She’s clinging to his legs and she’s definitely talking to him.

What the shit?

“See?" She shouts pointing, "My daddy's here now and he's going to fuck you up!"~

Lies That Were Never Told by evilly_laughing

~“You’re the straight brother.”“Oh?” Well that’s news to Jason, a very queer individual with a boyfriend.~

Things My Heart Used to Know by poisonivory

~Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne's beloved adopted son, was kidnapped when he was fifteen. He was never found. Six years later, Roy Harper runs across a very familiar face, three thousand miles from Gotham. "Jay" has no last name, no memory, and no reason to believe he's a potential heir to Gotham's largest fortune. But with Bruce Wayne offering a five million dollar reward to anyone who can bring his son home, Roy and Jay figure it might be worth teaming up to claim the money, even if Jay is only a fraud.~

Call Roy by Rulerofyouall

~Jason gets shot while helping the Bats on a mission. He asks them to call Roy before passing out, and the Batfamily learns that their relationship is a bit closer than any of them had thought.~

i'm done with this heartache, i'm done with the demons, can't wait to be normal, right after this weekend by tommyshepherdd (gaysupersoldiers)

~As he loomed over Jason’s bed, trying to figure out his course of action, Roy opened his eyes. He immediately went wide eyed and attempted to shrink away from him. “I expect to see you at breakfast.” Bruce told him solemnly, turning on one heel to leave dramatically.~

Daddy Daddy (If You Could Only See) by poisonivory

~Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen are two of the wealthiest and most famous men in the country - and oh yeah, they hate each other. Their sons, Jason Todd and Roy Harper, are the black sheep of their respective families and tabloid darlings. But when Roy suggests they pretend to date to stir up the paparazzi and piss off their dads, he doesn't expect himself to start falling for Jason for real.~

Damijon

About Last Night by desolationofzara

~Damian groaned miserably and ran his hand down his face. Something cool slid against his skin in contrast to his warm hand. Damian forced himself to open his eyes and he blinked blearily up at his hand. There was a simple silver band with a line of tiny sapphires going all the way around it."When the hell did I ever own this ring?" Damian thought, closing his eyes and massaging his throbbing temples~

'Cause I Made My Mind Up You're Going to Be Mine by poisonivory

~Jon’s heart started pounding so hard he would have been concerned if he’d heard it in a regular human’s chest. “Are you saying that you’ve been courting me?”Damian’s brow furrowed. “Yes, obviously.” “Obviously?” Jon echoed. “When did...how? What was the courtship part?” And how had he missed it? This was so unfair.~

It Wouldn't Be Make Believe (If You Believed In Me) by poisonivory

~When Damian traces the source of a lethal new party drug to Metropolis University, it only makes sense to go undercover as a student to ferret out the culprits. He doesn't expect to run into Met U student Jon Kent, and he definitely doesn't expect to get mistaken for Jon's boyfriend. But hey, what harm could it do to play along?~

Dami... an Wayne? by Lizabeth_Shabow

~Jon's friends try to figure out who his secret boyfriend is.~

#SoftRobin by mistolez

~Damian is unexpectedly left alone in Gotham for a month as the rest of the batfamily are busy elsewhere. It is during this time that Gotham gets to know and fall in love with their youngest vigilante (and a hero from Metropolis too, urgh).~

Misc. 

Uh, Batman? That’s Rā’s al Ghûl by Taxi_Cab_To_Slowtown 

~“I propose the League have a family day here at the Watchtower this weekend. Open to all the families of our heroes who know their identities and who you are willing to introduce to the rest of the team. It’ll be to encourage team bonding and to allow stronger relationships to be formed between the League member’s families.” The Justice League were going to get more than they bargained for.~

[i-swear-its-only-ironical]

So, I did Latin for 7 years. WAIT, STOP HEAR ME OUT!

I did my final school exam on Ovid's "Metamorphoses" and the one thing that significantly shaped my view on media was Ovid's understanding of love.

When we think about romance and romantic love today, we tend to think of it as a saving grace, something that completes you. Falling in love in fiction implies a positive bond, something that will eventually help you. There are whole subgenres on the idea that "Love can save you"; "The Power of Love" is a pretty famous trope, right?

Now, Ovid also saw falling in love as a strong but, alas not always one that saves you. In almost every myth he reinterpreted in his "Metamorphoses" love creates - but only through destruction. Here, love is a force of nature, something even the gods aren't immune against. Love is rapturous and terrifying, more an uncontrollable forest fire than a tender candle flame. Love is complicated, the very act of falling so big that no one can even measure the effects it will have on the individual, the community, the world.

One of my favourite scenes in the poetic cycle tells the story about Apollo arguing with Cupido (son of Venus, basically her right hand). It goes like this:

Young Apollo just slew a beast. Standing on it, bloody bow in hand, he spots Cupido and brags: "Look at my skill, my power. I am the element tipping scales in wars, only one hit with my arrow is enough to kill the most gigantic monsters. What can you do with your weak bow, your mediocre arrows? Love, this feeble thing? Forever I will be the better archer between the both of us."

And Cupido, angry, just smiles: "My arrow may not kill any beast in one strike, but it'll strike you. And it'll destroy.

And it does. Apollo gets hit by an arrow and immediately falls in love with the nymph Daphne. Cupido also hits her with an arrow, not one for love but for eternal hate.

Long story short: Apollo runs after her, she begs her father, a river, to help her. He transforms her into a laurel tree, causing Apollo's heart to break. This is why he gets portrayed with a laurel crown in mythological pictures. He wears it to never forget his first love.

This, btw, is one of a gazillion stories where Apollo falls in love with someone and that person dies, gets transformed into flora or eternally hates him. Just because he messed with Cupido once (1)! Cupido and his mother Venus are incredibly petty and power hungry. Ovid's message is rather clear: do not fuck with love! Do not underestimate it! Don't try controlling the forest fire, you will burn yourself.

Love and the loss of it, in Ovids works, is more often than not associated with pain, sometimes implied to be worse than death, sometimes implied to be better than heaven. It creates, it destroys, it lets you learn and fall and stand up again. Love isn't something positive (or negative) - it just is. And you have to deal with that, whether you like it or not.

And I love the implications with this conceptualisation, because love hurts although it may be right, it may be cute, it may be essential. "Uwu such a cute romance sto-" NO. Cute? Love isn't cute, love is bigger than your tiny, short, pathetic life. Love is uncontrollable. Love is chaos.

Sooo, this is a fandom post after all, so I'll get to Stolitz now. If you're just here for me fangirling about Ovid (love that guy, we stan someone that knows his metrics), you can check out now. Hope you had fun reading!

If you think about love like Ovid things about it, isn't it oh-so-understandable why Blitzø fears it so much? It ties you to someone, you float in an ocean and everywhere you look, you see only horizon and waves. And for someone that only has experience with how love destroys (flashback with Fizz birthday, also whatever the fuck happened with his twin sister Barbie) falling of course feels like fucking drowning. You try to act normal, as if there would be normal ground under your feet. You don't try to swim (why bother? Never worked out anyway) and because you don't even try, you start sinking, choking on your own infatuation, with no safe haven, no anchor, no land in sight. You're alone, lungs filling with water, slowly losing consciousness while the sounds of the earth above you are getting quieter, the world desaturated of its colour.

"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" - Of course he is? Why wouldn't he? Are you afraid of forest fires?

And to add on that: he feels completely alone in his own conscious, his emotions for Stolas. Because like hell he'd be vulnerable in front of his friends or crush. He's way to deep anyway, everything is dark blue. No one will hear you and even if: you would not want them to listen. Blitzø wants to drown in silence, not having a say in if he drowns at all because, like I said, love is way too big for you to control.

Similar with Stolas, although his view on the fire isn't that pessimistic. He knows how powerful emotions are and doesn't even try to contain them. At first, he almost revels in the waves. Did you ever swim at night, the stars above you multiplied by the water below you? There is nothing but the waves and the stars and the sky. There is nothing, there is everything. Stolas likes loving, he sees beauty and contempt in it. But eventually he sees that there isn't land in sight, that you alone cannot survive this vastness of nature also.

You cannot control the Ocean, cannot control the forest fire, but you can try to coordinate. This is the only way to survive this terrifying ordeal called love.

So he swims, tries to swim at least and he looks for Blitzø, realising they'll both go down with this relationship if they won't find the other between the waves. And he swims and swims, screaming, while Blitzø drowns him out. He cannot hear him, because he cannot accept that pretending there is land under your feet won't magically make the ocean disappear. He'd need to swim, but what good did that ever cause him?

Ok that's all. Thank you. :)

[kaybronz]

Warning, incoming novel ahead.

If the Chris Evans shit show has taught me anything it's that you truly can't trust anything about public figures. There's always a narrative being spun or some kind of image being crafted and projected. I think that's the part that is the most disappointing to me that I bought into the image and it was nothing more than a mirage.

I had always liked the marvel movies, RDJ was my favorite for the longest, but I really started getting into Chris once he started being politically vocal. He seemed like a breath of fresh air, down to earth, relatively normal for his position in life, vocally on the right side of political history, and a self-proclaimed feminist. So I dove right in! It felt good to throw my support behind a famous person that for once, didn't seem to be so wildly out of touch with the everyday individual, whose values seemed to align with mine. I invested time and energy into promoting him and his work, I frequented and participated in his fan spaces, and I followed his ventures outside of acting. The red flags were there along the way, particularly with ASP, but I wanted to believe he had the best of intentions but was fumbling the follow through, so I pushed those to the back of my mind and kept supporting.

That investment and support existed solely because of the image he presented to the public, humble, down to earth, politically and socially conscious everyday guy. But that glass has shattered now. I'm a firm believer in the fact that you are who you surround yourself with. And I clung to the idea that this was pr because because it was some kind of hope that the image wasn't a false narrative and that he wasn't actually a phoney underneath a facade. But now it's quite plain that his morals and values very much align with his racist, fatphobic, antisemitic bride and her like minded friends. If he was the man he projected himself to be we wouldn't be where we are now. Who you marry says even more about you than your friends do and this marriage doesn't say anything positive about him and most certainly shines a light on who he actually is and how he actually feels about marginalized groups.

I do not believe in the ability to separate the art from the artist. I believe that continued participation and interaction with the work and other ventures of a problematic person is inherently showing acceptance and support to that person. Which I cannot condone any longer. This is why if you're a fiction writer and I unfollow please understand that while I likely think you are incredibly talented I cannot in good conscience continue to interact with your work as in my mind it supports and benefits him, even if indirectly. In my mind continuing to read and reblog like nothing has happened is a big fuck you to the most most directly affected by this farcical of a man.

With that being said, I've met some great people throughout my time in this fandom, and I hope that they stay on and pivot to other more worthwhile things (though I understand if they leave), I hope to be able to continue those wonderful interactions with the smart, kind, empathetic people I've encountered. I personally don't think I'll be jumping into another fandom space anytime soon for fear of another let down. But in the meantime I may venture back into my old faithful, I present to you Mr. Paul Wesley.

Paul who while not a politically active as Chris once was (and maybe that's a good thing as it's likely far less performative) he has directly called out his very own costars for their right wing political support and backwards ass thinking. And was one of the few on the vampire diaries set to stick up for Kat Graham and pushed back so far on the abhorrent treatment from the show creators that he as one of the main characters threatened to leave the series if they killed her character off.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Didn't some other members have their documentaries on weverse and Disney?

Why is Jimin's content restricted to weverse only? Isn't that limiting his audience? Disney is available to plenty of people, it's easily accessible and there's plenty of "gp" there. Putting content out on neutral platforms is a way of promoting the artist, isn't it?

Do they want to keep the content within the fandom? I don't get it.

I'm being tested right now

I vaguely remember that when I "reviewed" J-Hope's documentary, I said that perhaps it is better to have it on weverse mainly due to its production qualities and the topic at hand. It wasn't made with the general public in mind, which is why I wasn't really sure if it needs to be on Disney+ for that purpose. He is also not a name known worldwide. And that's important too. Watching this Beckham documentary proves my point. I may not know any details or have an actual interest in football, but I know who the man is. The world knows. And still, it was made in such a way that even my mother and my sister became invested in the story. If the subject is not of general public interest beforehand, then you need to know how to get a good story out. If the subject is already a known figure, you still need a good story.

The Big Hit documentaries are not. Yes, BTS is a famous group, but the internet generation knows them. The target audience is a specific demographic and not the widest one. The docs were made in such a way that they are mostly fully understood by an audience already familiar with BTS, Suga and J-Hope. If the approach would have been different, then it would indeed make more sense to have them released on a platform with a bigger, more diverse audience. You need to know who you're selling to.

If Jimin's documentary is made in a similar vein, then on one side, I can understand why it's being released only on Weverse. My understanding stops here though.

If the company/label already has a deal with Disney+ and as part of that, two docs were already released with a third one on the way about the group, it means it has been agreed upon that such type of release is appropriate and good enough for the artists. From a label perspective. So, why is it not good for Jimin as well? Suga and J-Hope get theatrical/streaming platform release (regardless of their individual reach, status, influence, how known they are), but the third one in line gets stuck with a platform known only by fans? Even if this was some alternative universe in which Jimin is some member of a group with only basic contribution among a dozen more, it still wouldn't be fair. At least it wouldn't look fair.

I don't understand how the label somehow fucks up so much when it comes to him. I hear one good thing about his projects and less than 24h later, there's a fuckup.

This has ruined my excitement. Because instead of getting a 1h doc on Disney+ that I already pay for, I'm supposed to use that fuckup of a platform which I really don't want to. I really don't.

[transfemlogan]

if i had proof/evidence i would’ve shared it literal years ago. i’m just trying to prevent anyone else from getting hurt by him. and after how everyone has handled this, i really don’t think opening my heart up and bleeding out for an angry mob who has been nothing but violent is in any way safe, especially since i’m not lucky enough to be able to “prove” it. they’ve made it clear they’ll never listen anyway. why bother…

the death threats concerns is because i was sent countless death threats and kms’s for literally nothing at all by fanders even when i was still with thomas. it kinda ruined fandom for me altogether and i can’t even engage much in any fandom anymore (not even for my special interests :( )because of it. i was anticipating that happening again. and i wasn’t exactly wrong.

i wont be coming back here so if you say anything to me i won’t see it. i don’t know how much more my damn heart can take. i just wanted to protect you all from him so he couldn’t ever hurt anyone else ever again. it hurts that everyone’s response is so cruel. just let me help you…

thanks for the donation btw. i’ll post proof on twitter of using it for necessities once i get everything i currently have going on sorted out. it’ll help, i do appreciate it. thanks

(sorry you were abused and disbelieved. sending solidarity. NO ONE should need to provide proof/evidence or share every gory detail or be able to perform the perfect victim or whatever to be believed. let’s build a world where it’s as simple as saying “this individual abused me” so no one ever goes through this again, shall we?)

hi, atlas. i know you said you won't see this if I reply, but that's alright.

i will be taking what you say in good faith. i know most people aren't, for obvious reasons, but any feelings I have on this ask or you I will not state.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. and it sucks not being able to prove yourself to others. Attempting to speak out, only to get ridiculed and attacked is one of the most scary things about trying to speak. Again, I can 100% relate as someone who grew up in an abusive household and was in an abusive relationship. I hope you can find the help that you need & I hope my donation helped at all.

I will say, however, creating a world where someone can just say something and have it be believed no matter what is not a world I want to live in. Which I know is hard for a lot of people to understand, because S/A & abuse is one of the worse things someone can do and whoever does it deserves a neverending punishment, but people are liars. And while people who lie abt S/A & abuse are a very small amount of people, it still happens.

And there's a different set of "rules" when it comes to certain situations. I expect my friends and family to believe me about my abuse, but I don't expect strangers to about another stranger without any proof. If my abuser somehow became super famous, I do not expect them to believe me immediately without any evidence, bexause anyone can just say anything.

(Plus, I'd argue not every situation is black and white— yes, my ex emotionally abused me and caused trauma that I still deal with today after 5 fucking years, but I do not view her as an abuser. We were both children and it was her first relationship. She was just a very insecure person and we were surrounded by the wrong group of friends. That's my specific situation, obviously, but me-a-year after it happened and me-5-years-later both have very differing views on the situation.)

I hope you can heal through whatever this is.

[georgegraphys]

Also about ferrari culture. I agree with you on how the internal structures are not gonna change fast enough (if they change at all), but also it will be interesting to see how the tifosi react to lewis and his political campaigns.

A team culture that is based on traditions, fans are not gonna be happy about the team pushing political messeges that are the exact opposite of their own political opinions. Yes, younger fans are generally more liberal but a huge part of their fans are still men in their 40-50s. That agegroup of italian men are not gonna be open to lewis’s campaigns. I think even if ferrari does as promised the fan reception wont be good. It could really hurt the brand.

I am not Italian. Maybe Italian friends here can answer and elaborate more on how Italians view race/cultural diversity, feminism, LGBTQ+, etc. Like how the fan culture works there? How do Italian fans respond to it? Do Italians view those issues as something political or something more of a human rights issue? Those are the questions I cannot answer because I am not Italian therefore I am unable to speak on behalf of the tifosi you meant here (which I presume the ones you meant here are Italians Tifosi)

But in my opinion, I wouldn't label those issues as political but more of human rights but the labelling on those issues are relative/subjective depends on which country you're in. I don't know much about Italy so I can't comment on the Italian stance here but let's talk about how F1 fans in general is homophobic towards LH wearing LGBTQ+ supporting helmets several times and how if you look on tiktok, there are still dudebros using his old clip of him yelling at his nephew abt "boys don't wear dresses" despite him changing his stance and educating himself already. F1 fans are just homophobic in general and misogynistic towards female inclusivity in F1. The drivers themselves, like GR, even became the target of homophobia or people trying to assume his sexuality 24/7.

Talking about the demographics, again I can't say much about the older Italian demographics on whether they're conservative or accepting of those issues or not. But if the fans aren't satisfied because they saw LH trying to bring awareness to those human rights issues as 'political' then it might be troublesome. Ferrari seems to cater to their tifosi a lot? Fan cultures there are strong as fuck. Again, what to expect for the fandom who said "no one is bigger than Ferrari"? So if that happens uhhh maybe they'll try talking to him? Which definitely is not going to end well ig 😭 But it's an issue of "what ifs" because I don't know Italian cultures!

The organizational culture of Ferrari might be traditionally fixed but the fan culture and the italian culture as a whole is of a different topic which I cannot put my hands on (not Italian nor am I a tifosi, far from being one). But at the end of the day, every brand/company/organization will always prioritize brand image>individual. No matter how famous or influential they are. An individual can walk away if the company is in trouble, but the company can't walk away from trouble. If shits get messy, i feel like there won't be much to what Ferrari would compromise on.

This is why i'm pretty surprised by his move to Ferrari because Mercedes has accommodated everything to his wants then suddenly a move to a traditional "national institution-like" company? Just a big WOW.

[metalheadkells]

ive been very much detached from mgk fandom for like. the better part of 2 years at this point? but i still have tags tracked and i still “check up” on things out of habit. and imo the most common takes on the megan/kells drama are equally bad lol. both sides (aggressively siding with kells or aggressively siding with megan) make me so frustrated. 

my people are the people who heavily criticize them both WITHOUT resorting to cruel attacks or wild conjecture abt shit we can’t possibly know, and that has been the case ever since their public relationship progressed past those initial surprising pap pics (before they started embarrassing themselves as a unit 😩)

loud PSA: check your misogyny every now and then. a lot of the rhetoric i see floating around in the aggressively-siding-with-kells bubble REEKS of it. stop expecting more from famous women than you do from famous men, who get excuses and compassion and effusive praise handed to them by their fans without having to lift a finger for it. these are equally problematic individuals and i am no longer surprised that they ended up together tbfh. so on the flipside: the ppl who i see saying things like “thank goodness megan finally cut him loose maybe she’ll stop being cringe now” make me wince just as hard. 

TL;DR both sides fucking wrong :) where is the nuance :) pls stop making me sad abt misogyny (internalized and otherwise) in fandom spaces :) 

ALSO: a woman is not obligated to stay in a relationship w/ a man just because his mental health is fragile. it is not her duty to “fix him.” remember that s*icide-threat-over-the-phone moment he described in Life In Pink? nobody should ever have to experience someone they love putting them under that kind of pressure. also also, please think critically about why you perceive women w/ a prolific dating history and women who “rebound” quickly as morally sus but don’t bat an eyelid at men that exhibit the same behavior. i can’t stomach that double standard under any circumstance. ICKY.