#why am i still afraid of cringing on main

[hecula-propaganda]

I don't know why when I'm in front of the doc I struggle to find a way to properly convey Hector's feelings, and I have doubts like "would he kiss Dracula's hand? and for how long? would he accept his cold?"

but then when I'm daydreaming off the doc brain defaults to "they should kiss on the lips and be cute and almost wholesomely in love 🥺" like it's the most natural dynamic for this creepfest

(in my defense, I think I made pretty clear that Drac is a creep in the first part lol. and, well, the whole point of the fic is discussing Dracula's human love filtered by his monstrosity, and how Hector only sees the first part for better and for worse, so...)

[caruliaa]

see the thing about the adults enjoying bluey thing is that part of me really enjoys it seeing both a show meant for very little kids but isnt talking down to them and also seeing an acknowledgment that the even if something is meant for a much younger audience that doesnt mean it lacks quality (and btw part of it is having a seven year old sister but i. am infact onr of those adults who enjoy bluey) but also as someone who was in the target audience (young child) for my little pony when i enjoyed it i am shaking like a wet dog a bit begging you people to please just be normal about this and not ruin it for the target audience okay thank you.

[strwbrymlkshake]

I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀

[dalishious]

About Davrin's little blurb on the official website for Dragon Age: The Veilguard...

"Though he was raised in a Dalish clan, he craved excitement and adventure. He'd rather make history than reflect on it."

There's actually a lot to unpack about these two sentences.

First off, placing the word "though" in front of being "raised in a Dalish clan", gives such a thing a negative connotation. The word "though" is used in a way that sounds like "despite", as in, somehow wanting excitement and adventure must go against being Dalish. This correlates with sentence that follows. "He'd rather make history than reflect on it." The word "rather" is yet again used to separate Davrin from his Dalish origin. All together, this promotional description of Davrin is insisting that he is "not like other Dalish".

Now, obviously the game is not out yet, so we do not have total confirmation on what the nature of Davrin's relationship to his culture is really like. But there is absolutely something to be said about promoting the character this way, regardless of however he actually turns out in game. There is absolutely something to be said about how, as @/the-eldritch-it-gay put in their tags here, why do writers feel the need to make fantasy minorities hate or distance themselves from their culture? As a selling point?

Maybe this is completely misleading bullshit, maybe it isn't. All we have to go by, is what BioWare chose to say here, and their past track record with elves:

Zevran may talk about his mother in a font way, but he still has the line, "Too many of our kind think we deserve pity simply because we have failed to defend ourselves."

Velanna is one of the two elves we've had who is overtly proud of her culture, yet she is treated like she is unreasonable and too angry because of it.

Merrill too, is proud of being an elf, and of being Dalish. The story punishes her left and right for this, treats her like a child, and in the end she is either ostracized from her clan or they end up dead because... she cared too much?

Fenris has pretty much zero engagement with elven cultures, and spends his time ridiculing Merrill for being proud of hers.

Solas complains about the Dalish from the start, and says plainly that he does not see himself as having anything in common with elves of current time. "Oh, you mean elves" he says, when the Inquisitor asks how he feels about his people; the thought does not even occur to him.

Sera is... Sera is a character who could have been a really interesting examination of overcoming internalized racism, if she was written by someone competent with the subject. Instead, she just cringes at everything "too elfy" through the entire main game, and only has a single line in Trespasser that hints that she may have a personal struggle going on. But it's still left unresolved.

That's a lot a lot of negativity. So of course seeing a suggestion that more is to come with Davrin has people wary and tired.

Let us also consider the fact that Davrin is overtly Black as well, and what that means. Acting as if one must disregard history in order to make it, as his description so claims, is bullshit. It sounds too much like promoting gentrification/assimilation in my opinion; the idea that you cannot keep your culture if you want to be successful.

I also think that it goes even deeper, on a meta level - I think that BioWare is afraid people will not be able to like or relate to Davrin, if he is "too ethnic". I think that BioWare is taking this Black character and instead of questioning how he can best represent marginalized fans - particularly Black fans - they are questioning how to make him more relatable to white fans. And the only answer to that is to, of course, make him seem like he is an exception to marginalization through separating him from his people.

I am still holding onto hope that Davrin will overall be an interesting, well-written character. And I sure as hell will still be defending him from the people who are already hating on him or ignoring him completely because of their racialized biases. But that does not exempt BioWare, and specifically his writer, John Dombrow, from any criticism. This is not about Davrin the character, this is about BioWare the company's handling of Davrin the character. And in that regard, they're not off to a great start with this.

[candyredappledragon]

h-hi! the name is kieran. nice to meet you! ive been here for a bit and uhm.... sadly figuring out how to use this site! ( kind of afraid of interacting with others especially but im trying my best to not be easily scared ! ) i am not familiar with technology and or online things/words so please be patient with me. i know there are other kierans here too and honestly theyre pretty cool! ....d-dont tell them i said that. im not really a battler so if you are trying to look for one then im sorry to say that you will be disappointed but you can ask the others though. really sorry

..uh thank you for checking my blog— furret youre on my facEXSFDGCVHH

🍎 Please no genuine anon hate, nsfw, or anything really bad. ( You can be mean to Kieran! ) Pelipper mail is okay ( but malice is off for now ). Sapient Pokemon or the likes of interacting are fine too, Kieran is too much of a goofball to notice it. Please don't give him Pokemon the thought is appreciated but if you do they'll turn into stickers lol.

Please don't be weird. I'm serious. As well PLEASE be patient with me and not be pushy. I'm trying my best!

This Kieran is in AU as to what happens if Florian doesn't lie to him about Ogerpon and whatnot! Kieran still doesn't get Ogerpon and is fine with it ( kind of, as in this made him feel inferior to having friends and will always be chosen over by other people. ) His way of thinking is that maybe he should try to be nice and kind to others so that will help him get friends as he sees Florian do this the same to others. ( The only thing Kieran thinks he's not good at is having a funny personality. He is very awkward in person. ) Blueberry Academy was hard on him as he was almost practically as ignored and students tend to forget he is the champion because of his cowardly personality. Florian took over later as champion. Okay there.

(By the way this is a summary please don't hurt me. 💔)

Plus I will try to draw for asks but they won't be the best but surely will motivate me to draw! If there are no asks then I'll just draw daily things with Kieran so it's a win-win for me!

💥 This Kieran doesn't like to get involved with stuff so feel free to drag him into antics! He isn't the one to approach people either so if you are wondering why I don't start convos with other blogs with asks that's why. ( I'm shy too. ) He's a bit of a coward online and in person but he won't shy away trying to be friends with others.

🍎 Posts are tagged to make things easier! Feel free to block one of them to make your experience smooth!

Art related: art tag , art reply , daily Kieran art

Text related: text reply/reply text , text ask , text post , ooc post , reply reblog

Other: long post

Anything you want to be tagged? Please let me know! :)

"Can we use your art?" Feel free to use the art or whatever! Don't need to credit and I prefer not to be credited. You can edit it too! Idgaf just no bigotry. :,] "What do we call you and do you have pronouns?" Uhm, you can call me Eight or any other version of the number 8 itself. [ Ex: Ocho, Hachi, Acht, etc ]. No pronouns! Refer me to by name or just call me mod or some other third thing lol. "What art program do you use?" Clip Studio Paint! "Are you okay with collabs?" Of course! Please feel free to message me anytime. :] "What time do you post art/responses?" Uhm....... anytime to be honest? My sleep schedule is ABYSMAL. I am very much online unless I'm busy doing comp. "Are replies time sensitive when interacting with this blog?" Nope! Take your time with your replies. I am pretty chill and everyone is pretty busy with real life. Fair warning I'm a ditz. :( "Why did you make this blog?" To draw Kieran a thousand times over until I'm dead lol. ( Even if it isn't posted on this blog!) And world build my stupid au. :u I'm just currently on a small burnout on drawing. I'm sorry. :c

"Is this a sideblog?" Yeah, you are never going to find out my main!! It's very cringe ( it has different media art ). I will interact with my other sideblog with thoughts and reactions at times. [ if you are curious @/hahahasquib ]

"Do you like Kieran?" No. ( Yes. A normal amount. )

[suleikashideaway]

Why I Don't Write Zell Dincht 

On this mother's day, I find myself forced into thinking about motherhood and the impacts of motherhood on every human life. 

Much more rambling beneath the cut.

I think about motherhood a lot. Mainly because I am indeed a mother myself. However, being a mother was only a catalyst for me in understanding why my own mother was the way she was, and how that affected me. The way I have unlearned and learned how to mother is only a by-product of this.

Today, of course, it's all highlighted. The obligation. The memories. The fucking balloons in the grocery store. It's all so much more complicated than I ever imagined, and I doubt I will ever stop processing it so directly on this specific day every year. 

Luckily I’ve been processing it for long enough that it is no longer raw and painful and explosive. Now I can type coherent sentences and be genuinely okay with the amount of introspection the day still brings. 

And though today I am moved enough to write about it here, this analysis is constantly brought into my fanfic writing. I could argue that the influence of one's parents (or lack of influence or lack of parents) is the root of everything I write. Often it's hidden below the surface of my words, and often I don't recognize it's there until afterwards, but it's a profound fundamental influence nonetheless. 

Maybe that's why I've always been drawn to Final Fantasy VIII. The main cast are all orphans. Rinoa is the exception, but losing her mother at age five and having a terrible relationship with her father put her in a similar-enough category. So they're all ripe for that trauma of not having a sturdy parent-child relationship, especially in their early days. 

I have headcanons for all of these poor babies, all based on their early separation from their parents and why they turned out the way they did in their late teen years. Why Seifer wants to be a knight, why Selphie enjoys explosives, why Irvine is a secret sweetheart behind his macho facade, and why Quistis has a thirst to prove herself. I plan to write all of these as their own fics. 

Except for Zell! 

Why? Well, Zell is the only one who wound up with a reasonable mother. He was orphaned just like the rest of them, but something happened when Ma Dincht picked that little blonde tornado from the line-up. Something clicked in that little heart of his, and it's my biggest headcanon that Zell “Crybaby Chickenwuss” Dincht is the most emotionally well-adjusted of the whole lot. 

He's the one who's never been afraid to express himself. He's completely forthcoming with his intensity and his feelings. He's willing to let you see his true self. 

And though it seems cringe (or at least it did for me as a teenager), this authenticity is something those of us with poor parenting often struggle with. We were taught from day one that our cries, our anger, our enthusiasm is too much and should be stifled in order to save others the energy from having to deal with it. Instead, children should be blindly obedient, seen and not heard. 

Not so for our darling Zell! Ma Dincht saw a crybaby and thought, “I'll take him.” 

Of course, not everyone struggles with writing Zell because of this. See @angelosearch’s beautiful take on this in her fic: The Ballad of Ma Dincht. And for further reading about Zell’s earliest years, see @gardengalwrites's Boardwalk Bratwurst. 

So, on this complicated day, I find solace in the idea that there are Ma Dinchts out there. And if you struggle on this day, I hope you can take comfort in my ramblings and know that your authentic expression is valuable, and it's well worth the time to seek out those who are capable of receiving it with open arms. ❤️

[cupoftaae]

Could you do one where y/n is walking to home alone at night and is scared of someone and calls tae or somethingg ? :)) I love the Forever and a Day series!

Hello angel! sorry for the delay in post, been busy offline but im gonna get through my requests now, thank you for reading and loving the series! <3

No warnings, enjoy!!

"why are we getting dessert at 1am?"....."why not?" KTH DRABBLE

"Hi sweetheart, are you just getting out?" Taehyung sat up in bed, phone up to his ear as he picked up your call.

"Hi baby, yeah.." you exhale, walking out of your building and walking to go catch the train home to your apartment.

The past few weeks youve been working as an assistant dance instructor at a fine arts school. You loved teaching and dancing everyday, but some nights were long, and you couldnt let the students leave unless their choreography was perfect.

"How was work then?" he asked, feeling more awake

"well...we finished the main choreo which is actually really good considering we just started teaching it last saturday. I think they are catching onto it now....but we still had to stay late and do costumes and what not..."

"busy, busy girl" he chuckled softly, fidgeting with his shirt as he heard the tiredness in your voice.

"yeah you got that right" you sigh and walk over to cross the street, eyeing the boarding platform for the train. "I'll be home soon, okay?"

"ok my love..."

"do you want me to pick up anything? Im at the train but I can stop quickly at the 24 hour market and bu-"

"hello!"

You stopped talking to your boyfriend as you heard a voice appear behind you. You turned to meet eyes with a much taller man wearing a grey hoodie and baggy navy blue sweatpants. He could have been anywhere between 30-40 years old.

"Uhm-..hi?" you smiled quickly, confused. You hadnt seen anyone around when you first arrived.

"whos there with you?" taehyung listens in to the unfamiliar voice

"hang on, tae" you mumble, putting the phone down as the man steps a bit closer.

"you look very pretty!" the older man spoke calmly, making you cringe. He smelled of cigarettes and booze.

"oh...thanks, im not interested in anything...im sorry. Just waiting to catch the train" you nod and point at the empty tracks in front of you, putting the phone back up to your ear as you turn

"baby whos that?" taehyung frowned, turning down the tv so he could listen more closely.

"I dont know...im at the train and some guy is just trying to talk to me" you whisper through gritted teeth.

"what??" he panics

"how old are you?" the guy asks, now closer to you than before.

"sir...im a little uncomfy with you being so close, I am just trying to get home to my boyfriend, its very late." you try to speak without your voice shaking.

"ah come on...dont be like that, im sure he wont mind if your home a little later. why dont we go have a little fun?" he mumbled

you felt your heart sink to your stomach as you immediately backed up. you wish you hadn't left your stupid pepper spray at home.

"Y/N?" tae called out, but your phone was by your side as you looked back at him. "please.....just go away" you try again

He simply laughed and continued to step closer before a cop that mustve been nearby came up behind him, grabbing his attention.

"hello sir, mind if I ask why you are out here this late?"

He scoffed, shrugging dramatically.

The cop continued to press questions as you quickly made a gesture of appreciation and fled without him noticing you.

You ran off the platform and back into the parking lot of some random store, picking up the phone to see tae was still on the line.

"taehyung??"

"Y/N, what happened? whats going on??" his voice was fast, concerned.

"I- I dont know, i ran away but some guy was near me asking me questions and I just- the cop came by but im afraid to go to the train again...im just-"

"where are you right now?" he stopped you

you turn around to see the 7/11 type market before you, "Im by the convenient store on 11th street..."

"okay stay there, go inside if you can...im coming to get you okay?"

"okay..." you breathe out and sit on the curb right next to the front door, still shaking a bit as your eyes nervously peered around the street, cars passing every now and then.

Taehyung grabbed his keys and was gone within the next 5 minutes, his own nervousness getting to him. He drove to you, keeping you on the line to speak.

"what did he look like?"

"tae i dont know, he was just older...creepy. smelled awful."

"im so sorry that this happened, are you okay?"

"im fine...im just scared now" you laugh breathily.

"im almost there, ok?"

"mhm"

your feet swung against the concrete parking lot before you saw the familiar headlights of your boyfriend pulling in. you waved to grab his attention, him parking the car close to you.

He got out and hugged you, swaying lightly. "its okay"

you give him a squeeze, "im sorry you had to come all the way over here so late.."

"shh dont apologize, you should always keep this with you though" he grabbed the pepper spray you left at home, shoving it into your backpack as you laughed.

"but its pinkkkk" you whined

"so?"

"what guy is gonna be afraid of some pink pepper spray?"

"hey, pepper spray is pepper spray, you just have the bedazzled version. You spray and slay" he shrugged, making you cringe audibly.

"never fucking say that again" you laugh, pointing in his face as he holds your hand in his, beginning his walk to the markets front door.

"why are we going in here?" you ask

"mine as well" he smiled and opened the door, walking in and eyeing the people- free isles.

You followed him as he darted to the back of the building, lifting up the glass case and picking up 2 vanilla ice creams, then going to grab 2 iced coffees.

"whats all this?"

"dessert" he looked back and winked jokingly as he made his way to ring up the items.

You scoffed and stood behind him as he paid, "And why are we getting dessert at 1am?"

"why not" he chuckled and handed you the ice cream and coffee

"valid point" you giggle, "thank you"

He kissed your forehead and led you back out to the car, getting in and enjoying your late night snack.

"so you said the cop stopped him?"

you nodded, licking your cone and looking out the window. "He reeked of alcohol so I doubt it was because he was stalking some young girl....wonder if he was even arrested" you scoff

He hummed, pondering in thought.

The car went quiet for a moment

"do you think hes in the back seat?" tae suddenly spoke, side eyeing you.

"Tae!!!" you shout, playfully smacking his arm as he defensively raised his hands

"sorry, sorry!"

"one more word and im pepper spraying you"

[13eyond13]

Hi...Can I ask your top 3 favorite characters from Nana? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Thanks if you want to answer....

Hi hi!! I would LOVE to try to talk about this series for a bit, but PLEASE keep in mind I'm still only just finished volume 7 / chapter 24 (I am currently waiting in line to read volume 8 at my library! But I might get impatient and just try to find the chapters online too)... MY TOP 3 FAVE NANA CHARACTERS (SO FAR) 1. NANA KOMATSU / NANA 1 / "HACHI": OMG I love Nana 1 to death hahahaha. She literally makes me lol every single volume with her thoughts and decisions and interactions with everyone else, and it's just the most fun in the series to be inside her brain and following along with her relationships and emotional roller-coasters and little life lessons and anxieties and pains and hopes and dreams. She's an awesome character to me for being flawed and complex and selfish and immature yet still very likable and oddly tough and brave and sweet as pie at the same time. I think seeing the growth she's having as a person over the series is definitely the main draw for me, and watching her try to figure out her feelings for everybody and her place in the world and how to become the type of person that contains all the personality traits she's always admiring around her - and how to fill that void she feels of never completely erasing the loneliness inside or being perfectly synced up with the people she's trying to form a deeper connection with.

2. NANA OSAKI / NANA 2:

She's mysterious, she's proud, she's tough, she's badass, she's funny and sensible and kind! I love the more grown-up and emotionally reserved vibe she has in comparison to Nana 1, which totally makes sense considering her harder childhood and how self-reliant she always had to be. Her casual warmth with Hachi is endearing and her less obviously expressive and highly independent yet still emotionally intense personality is very relatable to me. It's the most fun to see Hachi reacting to Nana 2 to me I think, because Nana 2 is more closed off and a bit more afraid of exploring her feelings unabashedly than Nana 1. But she's by far my other fave in the series, and of course the heart of the whole thing is the very ambiguously devoted relationship between the 2 Nanas for me!

3. ???? I don't think I have a third main fave character in the story yet??

At the beginning of the manga I quite liked Shoji and Junko, but as the series is progressing it seems like they both got written out of the plot almost entirely. I liked Junko for always keeping it real with Nana and caring about her in a tough love sort of way, though she did for sure just seem a bit like the "voice of reason" character for the more ridiculous Nana to bounce off of whenever she was in a bind... I liked Shoji because he seems like a regular kid instead of some idealistic fictional love interest hunk - his reactions to Nana K. were pretty relatable to me, and their romantic interactions were cute and made me laugh and also cringe with sympathy at times (like when it was so awkward when Nana first moved to Tokyo too and they were still trying to readjust to being around each other more - I remember similar things happening to me whenever I had been long-distance in a relationship for a summer and and then suddenly near my partner again at some time). Even in the part where he starts developing feelings for Sachiko and sneakily cheating on Nana, I always felt he behaved pretty understandably and wasn't a horrible person so much as just a conflicted and young and immature one who wasn't in the right relationship when he was with Nana, maybe (though admittedly I wasn't that upset that he wasn't being featured in the story more after that, because that would probably get on my nerves). Currently I have just finished volume 7, and right now I am finding I don't feel a super strong connection to any of the other characters too much other than Nana 1 and Nana 2? The other guys in Blast are just okay to me, I don't have SUPER strong feelings about Nana getting together with Nobu (in fact I find him a little bit annoying at times - I agree with Shin that he "has some unrealistic ideas about women" and idealizes Nana too much - Yasu is chill and nice and wise, but a bit TOO chill and reserved to be super interesting to me). The members of Trapnest are also just okay to me? Ren bores me a little bit (maybe because I just would rather be reading about Nana 2 hanging out with Nana 1 than with him)... Reira is hard for me to form ANY opinions about other than eww, it's weird that she's sleeping with Shin, Takumi is a selfish yet possessive jerk and only thinking about himself, and I always forget the other one (Naoki?) even exists...

I WILL say that the little Nana 2 fangirl Misato is extremely cute and I'm always happy when she's on the page, hahaha. Her shameless devotion to Nana 2 and her politeness and extreme savviness about the music industry are just fun for me to read (as was Hachi's initial jealousy toward her, but I'm glad she managed to also eventually get over that)! --

MY TOP 5 FAVE NANA MOMENTS (SO FAR): Forgive me if these moments are completely arbitrary and sort of dumb picks, because I feel like I'm forgetting so much of the story from the previous volumes already, and I'm still only 1/3 of the way through the whole thing?? But here are ones that stood out to me whenever I was racking my brain: 5. Whenever Nana forces Shoji to let her sleep in his hotel room, then awkwardly sings him to sleep, and he's like: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SING" hahaha...

my reaction to that was basically Junko's reaction:

4. Whenever Nana 2 starts getting jealous and confused about Hachi hooking up with Takumi I was like OHOHOH, HOW THE TURNS TABLE.... I think it's REALLY hard for Nana 2 to admit stuff like feeling vulnerable or jealous or possessive over Nana 1 at this point, and seeing her realize "heeyyyy maybe I want her attention and devotion a little more than I thought and was taking it for granted a bit"... that was a very feelsy little part! 3. Whenever Hachi is getting jealous about Nana 2's cute little fangirl and having super mean petty thoughts about her hahahah omg the most relatable thing of life! 2. When Nana 2 goes to Nobu after he first starts dating Hachi and is like: "I'M USING YOU TO KEEP NANA 1 IN MY LIFE FOREVER, SO DON'T MESS THIS UP!" OMG?? Fellas is it gay to keep your girl roomie nearby by throwing guys at her that are entrenched in your social circle and also more socially acceptable for her to date? When I say my heart skipped a beat at that moment!! And it just happened in the manga super recently, so who knows where things are going to go from here?

1. When Hachi is having so many gay thoughts about Nana 2 that she's like "AHHH THIS IS TOO GAY I NEED TO GET ANOTHER BOYFRIEND!!!!" Boy did I laugh out loud at the cognitive dissonance (and find it super relatable to younger me and my own panicking about maybe not being entirely straight thoughts? of course)...

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 18

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists!). These are just my personal opinions and preferences.

And yes, this will contain spoilers!

☼ 1. Love Mate

I am thrilled and I decided to ignore the permanent crossing of boundaries. The series is so funny and not in a too embarrassing way. I cringe insanely fast and here it really kept within limits because the jokes just ended in time and were not exhausted until it hurts. We have grumpy-I-don't-believe-in-love-guy and the sunshine-I-fell-in-love-with-you-at-first-sight-guy (and yes, those are their names for me now) and the two have good chemistry and I just go awww. Grumpy guy is actually already smitten, just doesn't want to admit it to himself that someone has managed to break through his shell. And sunshine guy is just an idiot in love, who knows no boundaries and would do anything to convince his crush that love can be beautiful. And I am sitting in the front row rooting for him. Maybe because I can identify too much with grumpy-guy and find it quite nice to watch his heart slowly being conquered. Great series! Clear recommendation!

→ 2. My Story

Cutest scene this week goes to:

Zeke and Fifth are such flirts with each other and they both know they like the other and I think Zeke knows Fifth likes him too, it's just Fifth hasn't quite figured out that Zeke likes him too. There's still the belief that the latter might have a crush on Kim. Oh my little Fifth…you two are inseparable, Zeke doesn't leave your side unless you intentionally leave him behind, he is constantly flirting with you and bringing you coffee in bed. He actively and repeatedly seeks your proximity and wants you as a nude model! How many more clues do you need!? The preview for the next episode looks very promising! The main couple? Still not of interest to me. I lost interest in their story at some point and currently have no plans to get back in. They are not bad, Zeke and Fifth are just way cuter together.

Random scene I just don't understood what was happening or why:

↑ 3. Our Dining Table

How nice that the two of them ran into each other and Yutaka was able to experience the magic of the mother's special recipe. And when Minoru saw how differently his friend treated Tane and how Yutaka treated him, I think that was the moment when he finally fell in love. The look he gave Yutaka definitely speaks volumes. The story has some deeper parts, but it's still such a feel-good watch during the week. Some mid-week relaxation.

↓ 4. Happy Merry Ending

I think we all know that SeungJun's best friend is in love with him. Drama preprogrammed? We will have to wait and see. But I'm afraid this is a feast for writers. I'd like to see a plot twist like this, when you think that the two main characters get together and in the end it's the best friend who has also been in love with one of them for ages who becomes endgame (yes, my wish for The Promise). Won't happen, but I'd think it would be cool. Other than that, we got to see cute scenes between the characters and a bit of SeungJun's past, which is really not pleasant and I can get why he is how he is. Best scene so far is definitely the last scene of episode four when JaeHyun encourages SeungJun. Even though I was a little disappointed that they didn't dance with each other. Let's wait until the hand holding, then that will be my little tummy tickling scene!

↑ 5. Step by Step

I really enjoyed this episode again. What a roller coaster of emotions here! Maybe it was because the colleagues didn't appear that often and Jeng was also a bit more bearable again. At least he takes to heart what the employees have to say about him. And honestly, I love the looks he gives Pat! I was going to make a gifset, but then Photoshop broke, and after trying five times, reinstalling the application a zillion times, and ending up throwing Adobe completely off my computer, I figured there's currently a curse on it, I'm not touching the scenes again! But I think it won't be the last time he looks at Pat with that loving look. Such a handsome man. I'm a sucker for men in suits, but in this case, casual black shirts look soooo much better. As for the plot…I was too distracted by Jeng 😂

↓ 6. La Pluie

The mood of this week goes to:

It could have been over so easily and so quickly…well, Phat took his fate into his own hands and fell in love…That is shit. And in the end, I really just sat there and kept asking myself: What's happening right now? Are Tai and Lomfon falling for each other? What? And the scene where our precious vet is making out with someone and it starts to rain and Tai hears everything…that hurt amazingly bad. It left me speechless for a moment. I'm really curious to see where the journey goes. But I found a new motto this week: Unfuck it! Love it! Tian is the best! Someone needs to give him a really big hug. The poor kid is going through enough with his brothers and his arch-nemesis, who he's slowly falling for and who is slowly falling for his brother himself. Or this is just to get closer to Tian or just a representation of how people can bond over what they have in common without anything romantic having to happen right away, but I think we're all so influenced by our bl series that guys/men immediately flirt with each other and fall in love when there's common ground and a lively conversation. Just saw that the series is marked 18+ on MDL. Just wondering what made them give it that rating. iQiyi has it rated 13+.

↑ 7. Naked Dining

Okay, the moon thing was really cute. The moon means "I love you" and Mahori panics because he's already sent it. Honey, don't worry, Futa sends back a picture of the moon and everyone is happy! The female colleague will definitely make trouble, because of course now she has noticed how great Futa actually is or because she has been in love with him for a long time anyway. I don't really like this pretend you're my boyfriend acts because it always ends up with the girl falling in love and provoking drama. On the cuter hand, I thought it was cute when Mahori confessed having a crush on someone.

↓ 8. The Promise

Why do you have to drag everything out sooo much? Come on! These two like each other. This game is getting boring. Let them get together! And not just in a dreamed up deleted scene. What was that? I have no idea where to place that scene. Did either of them dream this? And if so, when? When Nan was in Party's arms? And Party, my man…you really are one of the best! Phu…get off your duff. Have faith in your best friend that even if he doesn't love you back, he won't abandon you. And Nan, please listen to your heart. I really feel like I write the same thing every week. I probably do, because a blind man with a cane can see that they like each other, but nothing seems to progress! It's frustrating!

↓ 9. A Boss and a Babe

Okay, so the topics are tough at times and yet the series feels like light banter to me. You know what I mean? It's dramatic with rape and drug trafficking and prison, and yet you feel like you're sweeping through the series light as a feather. I'm sure that's a little bit due to the characters. Even when dramatic scenes are shown, they are immediately grinned away in the next scene or covered up by love talk. The tragedy of many things doesn't really reach the viewer. And I won't go into Gun's mother for a moment. She wants to protect her son and especially the name of the family, which I can understand. The way it's done is just off, but really not as bad as in some other series or movies. And Cher doesn't let himself be kept away from Gun, which was kind of sweet in the end.

☼ 10. House of Stars

It was a mixture of boredom and drama and sex. I think the series is trying to go in the same direction as War of Y, but with less production budget and, sorry, a worse script. We have the mistress of the house who sets the rules and everyone obeys her. We have the little yet unknown one, who will fall in love with the nice seeming model student in the next episode, we have the competing pair, where you don't know exactly what's going on, we have the two in love, where I'm not sure if they are already a couple or not yet and we have the stalker, who finds the aggressive, heterosexual one so horny, that he watches him having sex and then lays hands on himself. And all this is accompanied by boring table talk and out-of-place fanservice scenes. Yes, this first episode has not quite picked me up yet.

↓ 11. Our Skyy 2

What's the point of intentionally hurting your partner just so you can have the satisfaction of surprising him in the end? That would have also worked if you had congratulated him and gone to the celebration from the outset and then just sneaked out. I'm angry about all this crap drama. It really overshadowed everything for me. And yes, I knew Our Skyy was going to be cringy, but it does really hurt. I'm really scared of when my favorites are on that it's going to spoil some of the original series for me….

↓ 12. Tin Tem Jai

I don't even bother to organize my thoughts - that's how little I care about the series in the end. Why were they fighting in the mall now? What was that hard cut and anyway…why that scene? A no-park zone??? How old is Tin!??! And was it really legal for Park to have sex with him? Their conversations are just so exhausting! Why is Park annoyed with Tin? I don't get it! That whole scene with your face is annoying….what was that for? Okay, now that's what I call abuse of power in a relationship with age difference…If Tin doesn't do what Park asks (i.e. not take the job that can benefit him professionally later and miss three days of college), then it's over? Wow.

I don't want to talk to Wikipedia right now….funniest scene of the week.

And what a drama with the mother in the last episode…Was that necessary? That was a bit much drama…And what exactly happened to Kana and Pao? They were just left behind on the track…At least I found them interesting and I would have liked to know how they are doing now. No…That was not good!

[neitherabaron]

So I bought Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania as a potential thing for me and Sam to stream…but it doesn’t have pass-and-play multiplayer on the main levels, which is. The main fucking selling point of the whole series??? Since 2001?

…wtf?

This isn’t a game that’s meant to be played on your own! The whole idea is you get a group of people together and pass the controller between you to see who can beat the crazy level designs first?!

You laugh/cringe at each other’s misfortunes! You cheer when your mates finally stagger over the finish line! Why would they remove a core feature of the classic games they’re supposed to be future-proofing with this collection? Without an actual social dimension, it’s just a damn monkey in a damn ball.

“Oh, but you can still play up to 12 mini games in multiplayer! So you can still play with your friends -” *Oh, please.* Don’t give me that. The party games are shite. They’ve always been shite (apart from Monkey Target). We all know it, we’ve known it for 20 years, but we’ve been too afraid to admit it until now, when it’s too late. The best part of this series is dead for no reason and the monkeys are laughing all the way to the bank BUT I GUESS ITS OKAY BECAUSE YOU CAN BE TAILS FOR SOME REASON…just, only in single player. You’re not allowed to play the shite party games as Tails because that might be fun.

Sooooo, that’s why we will not be streaming the latest Super Monkey Ball. It’s still a gorgeously designed game (three of them actually) but they have surgically removed the fun stuff that would make it streamable.

And yeah, I am mostly joking in the above rant and I probably *will* have fun playing it single player at home. But the lack of the originals’ best mode is never gonna stop being a phantom pain. And I 100% wouldn’t have shelled out for this remake (even on sale) if I’d known about it.

[abraxasrinbalt]

I wish I liveblogged about monster hunter lmao. It was a wild ride.

Spoilers for mhw below lmao

I start the game

I follow the main quests exclusively

I'm too afraid to do any big hunts by myself and make a friend or my Partner In Cringe help me whenever possible

I run for my life from rathalos and rathian when I find them

Anjanath is my biggest enemy and my greatest fear

Spent most of my time going on expeditions to get endemic life for my room.

I have 3 forest pteryx and I love them deeply

I make it into High Rank somehow

Still haven't soloed either rath. Still haven't solo'd much of anything

Enter: Bazelgeuse, more lovingly called the B-52 bomber.

This fucker is my paralysis demon. I am VERY AFRAID of him.

He ruins many of my hunts

Also enter Deviljho. Known colloquially as a Pickle. I finally get why ff14 content creator Drak referred to that one boss as a Pickle.

He ruins many hunts that Bazelgeuse didn't

I hate them both. Partner tells me we're gonna hunt a B-52 bomber to try to make me less afraid. It doesn't work but I appreciate the effort.

Game eventually wants me to kill elder dragons. I put this off as long as possible.

Get bored of waiting (and also forgot I was supposed to get PiC to help, we ended up fucking up a bunch of black diablos that day instead)

Accidentally pick the easiest one to deal with. Kill it on my first attempt of the mission.

Also learn that the Girros are suffering from cordyceps fungus. Hate that.

Pick the single most annoying one second, also by accident. Beg PiC to help me because I don't have the APM or skill to control the WIMDY FUMKIN BOY. L + Ratio + I'm too fresh to MH

I cause the mission to fail so we try again. Goes better.

Then we meet Toaster.

Good boy 10/10 I'm afraid of him too

Very good fight

I'm now Master Rank and have entered Iceborne. Except not really.

I'm undergeared in the sense that I'm not building with any specific idea in mind, so I can't even get past the first iceborne encounter

I now have to farm rathalos, odogaron and Toaster for gear. This is non negotiable.

I keep getting distracted by endemic life

Any time Bazelgeuse, Deviljho, rathalos or rathian show up uninvited- actually when ANYTHING shows up uninvited. They get dung pods to the face.

I now carry excessive amounts of animal shit in my inventory to make more.

Tonight alone I:

Finished my Flying Kadachi Strikebow after grinding forever yesterday

Anjanath AND Rathian almost ruined my last capture, but somehow I managed to time a flash pod with Rathian knocking over my Critically Wounded Target, blinded everyone, trapped the Tobi-Kadachi amongst the chaos, and tranquilized it before it (or I) met an untimely demise. I never want to do this again.

Hunted One (1) Odogaron and was immediately overstimulated

Hunted a Kirin because I didn't want to negotiate with a rathalos after the above overstimulation

[shego1142]

I think it’s also come along with the advent/enforcement of the replies feature, the direct messaging system (tho I do love that) and what I call “tag talk”

I’ve seen a whole lot of people, in their welcoming or begrudging information sharing to the Reddit and Twitter newcomers saying “don’t reblog a post and add anything to the main one unless you think it’s good enough, just add it to the tags.”

And that… feels a bit… off, doesn’t it?

“Put your thoughts and feelings where they’re less likely to be seen!”

In a similar vein I’ve seen people conversing on a post and someone is like “Eugh we have direct messaging just talk there”

The entire ethos of tumblr being a peer to peer communication site has had a huge breakdown, which sucks because it is quickly becoming the only site that still has the infrastructure to be that.

The internet is prioritising a stark and distinct “Entertainers vs the entertained”

In which the idea goes as thus: “if you are not directly making the website money, therefore allowing the website to control you, then sit down, shut up, and don’t interrupt the play.”

It’s very obvious on sites like YouTube, of course, where YouTube can enact wildly inane bullshit policies and enforce said policies by fucking with someone’s livelihood until they fall in line.

But other websites have decided they want a piece of that too. That’s what reddit wanted, more or less; control and profitability. Twitter (rest in pieces) wanted it too.

They’re auto-cannibalising and sifting through their user base looking for the entertainers and silencing anyone they deem “the entertained”

But of course some of it is cultural, we are literally in a depression, for the majority of the world, especially those of us unfortunate enough to be in the United States.

So we have a lot of people coming to tumblr or who are on tumblr who are desperate or petty or both

Who go “Eugh if you don’t have anything funny/interesting to say just keep it to yourself.”

Cringe culture has been repackaged as “boring/annoying/worthy of doxxing” and tumblr users are absolutely afraid to send messages to random blogs they like.

I’m more than moderately aware of it, having been on this site for more than 10 years now, and even I am fully 100% a victim to it.

“What if I say the wrong thing? What if I’m boring/annoying people?”

“What if so many people report my blog just because I said something that annoyed them that tumblr auto-bans me because the company would rather hide the users that a large portion of the website reports than actually review whether what they said was violating terms of service”

Because “terms of service” has devolved to “if what you say might make people upset then we don’t want you here because people being upset looks really bad to the brands that are paying us money.”

I know that sounds like a reach but keep in mind that’s exactly why YouTube took away the dislike button.

At this point being critical of a website can get you kicked off the website, even if that criticism is fair. It’s less rampant on tumblr, for now, but it’s still there.

Social media has become a favourites game. A popularity contest.

It’s no longer about talking to people and making connections and sharing information, it’s about “are you the money maker or are you the product, tell us quick!”

You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.

By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.

I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?

[maryse127]

I started too late on refreshing Final Fantasy VII Remake before Rebirth so I am speedrunning it now by watching a cutscene compilation at 1.25x speed and I am having Thoughts:

Back when I played the game I had basic knowledge of the original story but now that I have actually played og ff7 and Crisis Core Reunion myself in the past few years things do hit different

Yes this is about Zack

But also things like Rude turning the helicopter so Reno doesn't shoot Tifa at the pillar doesnt make any sense except when you know he has a crush on her

Also God I love the characters in this game so much. Not just main playable cast but also the Turks and Avalanche and all the silly characters in Wall Market

Like yes Don Corneo is a dick and disgusting and pathetic but he is a funny and enjoyable character exactly because he is so pathetic

Also just going through Remake again and knowing all the Rebirth trailers I notice I am paying more attention to the whispers and Cloud's headaches and other mysterious stuff than before

Like something is up with Aerith and Marlene. When Aerith goes to save her Marlene hugs her while crying then suddenly stops and goes completely calm and Aerith puts a finger in front of her mouth while giving a look like she just shared a secret with Marlene?? And then later when Barret says goodbye to Marlene before going to Shinra HQ Marlene wants to say something but then doesnt. And in Rebirth trailers Marlene says cryptic shit to Zack. I am not sure what is going on but something is (I have connected the dots/you didnt connect shit Mary)

Also I never wondered why/how Cloud has visions of the future in Remake until this rewatch but now it is like the number one thing on my mind

Also Aerith know too much as well. Like she knew they wouldn't be able to stop the plate from falling. But I am not sure if that is just a good gut feeling or some kind of Ancient power or actual knowledge of the future

Cloud saying he can feel Aerith calling out to him while she is held captive by Shinra is making me feel many feels

Also the way the game just isnt afraid to be over the top and ridiculous but in the most sincere way. Like the entirety of the Wall Market chapter. And a lot of the Rude and Reno shenanigans. None of that shit where media tries so hard to not be weird or cringe that it becomes awkward and cringe by doing just that. Hell House is ridiculous thing and yet it is taken completely serious by game which makes it work

If I worded that last point badly, please know it is 2 am at the time of writing

Something something Sephiroth. Many feelings, no coherent thoughts

Also yes the game still has issues like boring filler in terms of gameplay (*glares at the sunlamps*) but as I am not actually playing the game it doesnt bother me as much rn

Story good. Tho I still have a few hours left to go so no updated thoughts on the ending yet

[andromebaa]

Despair's Legacy

A Danganronpa AU

Part 3 - More Legacy Students

Here are the younger Legacy students!

Lolita

Lolita only exists because my brother forced me to make her and I am so glad he did because she's so fun and silly. Another stupid mish-mash idea cuz she's basically a younger and more obnoxious version of Tsumugi (she's a cosplaying otaku-ass nerd). My only wish is that I was a better character designer because her clothes would look more flashy and ridiculous. I just based her main outfit on something I used to wear when I was younger lmao.

Yes, she's also supposed to kind of look like Princess Piggles that was intentional.

Jin

Our protagonist, everyone! His main personality trait is that he's a little wussy baby. He's spent most of his life thinking he's been watched in the shadows and uh, he wasn't really wrong actually. I think the whole story was supposed to be kind of a coming of age/test of bravery for him. Overcoming his fears and all that. Apart from that he is a little bland. Sorry Jin.

Yes yes I did the stupid cringe Albus Severus thing to him I'm sorry I'm sorry. I didin't mention it before but Kyoko's dad actually died during the whole purging Junko thing at the start of the AU. So yeah we got the carrying on the name thing from that. Fun fact the first name I gave him I ended up using as Daiya's actual name. Funny how that kind of stuff happens.

Naomi

Everyone, our deuteragonist!

She's just a small version of Kyoko. No, but yeah, she likes being a little detective and getting into mischief. Kyoko sets up little crimes for her to solve. She's definitely a lot braver than her older brother and will ask the questions everyone else is afraid to say. I think they make a cute crime-solving duo.

I only realised fairly recently that she's very autistic-coded so I'll definitely canonize that.

Haruhi

Second youngest Legacy student! So young that she doesn't have a card yet totally did not make one for her because I didn't get far enough in the play-by-post to do it.

She's kid-sized, her birthday is on the 5th of June, she likes tending gardens and fantasizes about playing outside (where the real sun shines!!). She dislikes sitting still. Her parents are, according to her records, Leon and Sayaka. I like to imagine that Sayaka dressed her up like this against her will. The wings were a compromise.

Shion

This little asshole doesn't have a card either. Baby sized; August 8th; likes drumming; dislikes not having object permanence. You're never gonna fucking guess who his parents are. I think me and my brother made a joke that in this AU Monokuma poked holes in all the condoms.

Now I know what you're thinking - you didn't seriously put a baby into a killing game. Why? I dunno, it's funny.

His only personality trait is that he's wicked good on drums. It's played off as a joke to go with the whole family band stupid dumb fucking schtick I made. Haruhi was going to be part of it too but she kind of evolved into having her own personality and I'm so happy for her that she did.

And that's all of them! Looking back I kind of wish I made maybe one or two more kids cuz it's a pretty small roster but I managed to roll with it. As before, I have an embarrassing amount of lore about all of them so please feel free to ask if you want!

Part 2 - - - Part 4

[wah-pah]

8, 12, 25, and 29 for the bookish asks?

With gusto, @eroticfriendfictions . Thank you. :)

8: Why are you reading the book you’re currently reading?

I am currently reading Ann Radcliffe's "The Mysteries of Udolpho" because last year I re-read Jane Austen's "Northanger Abbey".

The latter is a satire of Gothic novels as embodied by the former and Udolpho is actually mentioned as one of the books Catherine Morland, the lead in NA, is reading.

I have to find out what's beyond that damn veil!

12: Tell one book story or memory (what you were wearing when you were reading something, someone saw you cry in public, you threw a book across the room and broke a window, etc.)

It may not be that dramatic, but this is the first thing that pops into my head: it was before we carried Internet in our pockets as easily as we do now.

I was reading Chris Bohjalian's "The Double Bind" and it weaves characters from The Great Gatsby into it at some point. I don't know exactly what happened in my brain but I got rather confused because I could swear TGG was fiction and now the main character was talking to some of those characters in their old age nowadays? While I read TGG for the first time probably a little early, it became one of my favourite books ever right then and the whole thing was messing me up because I would swear it was fiction. And messed-up I continued until I finally found my way to a desktop with Internet.

While it deals with some heavy topics, as a book, I still recommend The Double Bind, BTW.

A broader but very nice memory I have regarding books was when I was a teenager and during the Summer going to the supermarket with my mother and being allowed to pick a book to buy (I got money for Christmas and birthdays not an allowance and it usually went into too many clothes. Oops).

How many afternoons were spent reading those books. *sighs*

25: A book that you think about and you cringe because of how terrible it was

As a reader of many many years, I've obviously come across my fair share of terrible books but the first that popped into my mind was an awful Da Vinci Code knock-off I couldn't even finish it was so bad and The Alexandria Quartet - or better said Justine, just the first of them because I will probably have to be paid to read the rest.

I know some people will probably think I am commiting some terrible literary blasphemy but it is so boring, the women characters are basically kleenex-thin and awfully written. I do say that I found most of the descriptions of Alexandria very evocative though.

Curiosly, last year I came across a customer that was reading it and I asked if he wouldn't mind if I asked what he was finding of it. He said that he had read it when he was about 20 (so roughly 50 years ago) and while it gave him the chance to travel outside the reality he did know like books can do, he didn't like it much. He was re-reading it now thinking that maybe having lived a life meanwhile would make him like it more but nope. Still wasn't enjoying it.

Dishonorable mention to the already mentioned So Much Life Left over by Louis de Bernieres, but I think that brought me more anger than cringe tbh.

29: Favorite female protagonist.

I have plenty but I'll single Jordan Baker from The Great Gatsby out this time.

As I mentioned above, I was probably too young to fully understand TGG when I first read it but she was my favourite from the start. I liked her sarcasm (obviously) and the certain fearlessness she has to herself. Probably envying it in a way as well.

Thank you again for sending these numbers to me, Michelle.

I'm afraid my answers may have run a bit longer than desirable but books 🤩🤩🤩🤩. I am sure you understand.

[lightpeak]

The Value In Feeling Bad - Script

I’m a rather creative person. I write poetry, I make videos, I dabble in making music with a friend of mine. And I pride myself in trying my best to be unique in some way. My poetry is unique in that it’s poetry, and nobody reads that shit anymore. My videos are unique because I am not afraid to be honest with you, and be as genuine with my feelings as I can. And my music is unique, because it doesn’t sound good, by design. 

I can’t sing. I cannot hold a tune, and my voice just doesn’t listen to me when I tell it to do things. Talking, and writing words that are aesthetically pleasing, are really the only talents I have that could be anywhere near applicable to music. And so, I started making music where it’s really just me talking over rock music. And it’s kinda horrible, in a beautiful kind of way. It’s very raw, and very emotional, and is designed to make you feel.

Though this sentiment I feel for it, the idea that negativity can be beautiful, is not widely shared among the circle of people I’ve shared it with. They regularly attribute the negative feelings they have when listening to the music, to the music itself. Yes, the music, by some standard, is not good. That does not, in my opinion, strip it of its value.

I have a rather potent example of the emotional content of a product being attributed to its value. A product that was so viscerally upsetting to experience, many people hate it with an unbridled passion.

The video game The Last Of Us Part II. Naughty Dog’s 2020 sequel to the near perfect 2013 game, The Last Of Us. 

The Last Of Us Part II is so depressing. It’s so uncomfortable to play in so many ways. It’s trauma porn, and it’s a terrible thing to experience. And that’s why it’s amazing. It makes you uncomfortable in every step of the way, reminding you that the people you’re killing are people. They’re not, but that’s the commentary the game is going for. In some ways, it’s a game against video games. 

In every step of the way, you’re forced to follow the main characters as they do terrible things, and you have to do it for them. You are the player, yet you are being played. You are being made to feel things. Instead of enacting your will on the world, like in a Grand Theft Auto, the world’s will is being enacted on you. And it’s such a beautifully painful thing to experience.

You could attribute all of this to the opinion that the game is bad, and it’s poorly written, and it’s bad for people’s mental health. And you would be, in some part, right in all of these statements. But I still genuinely believe that all of these things are what give the game its value. Because it makes you feel. It isn’t foregoing its message by giving you any levity. It isn’t succumbing to your wishes and making you feel good. It isn’t fooling itself into the notion that feeling good is the only feeling that has value. It isn’t.

There is value in feeling bad. There is value in being sad. In being angry. In fear, anguish, grief, resentment, hate, love, lust. There is value in all of this. Because it makes you human. It makes you a living, breathing, feeling person. With feelings that are valid. Feelings that are worth feeling. Because if you didn’t feel them, would that really be living?

Listen to music that makes you sad, or makes you cringe. Play games that make you want to turn it off or burn the console and any remaining essence of such a vile experience. Feel things. No matter what they are. Feel things. Because it makes you human. Allows you to contain multitudes. There aren’t layers to happiness. It is just a layer.

Be like an onion. And ogres. Have layers.