#why am i so clumsy!!

[vorakh]

self portrait in disco elysium style

[catswarmth]

Clumsy cat falls over 😅🥰

[teecupangel]

So this is pertaining to my story Meta Assassins on AO3. Summary to follow so you can have context:

The very franchise we know exists as games within the games themselves and Desmond Miles isn't sure how to feel about this. He owns the first five games and soon Black Flag drops along with a new never-released game. It is there that Desmond meets Altair, Malik, Kadar, Ezio, and Federico. Desmond finds solace in the games given he now works at a gas station and has a crappy boss. While working one day he unknowingly meets Giovanni Auditore who gives him his contact information because he thinks Desmond is hard working and dedicated. Assassin’s Creed: Quadrivium, a MMORPG, drops and that's when he starts to figure things out. He eventually wants to go to Italy to visit Ezio and Federico during the winter holiday, which he does. Currently he is hanging out with Claudia Auditore at the local market.

Eventually I will have Desmond get hurt on the job at the gas station. A wet floor he didn't see, and there was no wet floor sign. He was carrying some heavy product that landed on his chest and left leg pinning him to the ground. His friends find it odd that he doesn't join them that night, but eventually a week goes by before they decide to go to New York to find Desmond. Which is how they discover the poor conditions Desmond has been living in. I am just stuck on how to write the accident scene and the twist of Desmond being fired for having the accident. Typically I have Kadar be the one that kicks them in the pants, cause I like to think he would have studied people's behaviors which would be useful as an assassin, but considering that I now have him dating Claudia, I could have her bugging Federico and Ezio about it since it's very uncharacteristic for Desmond to not answer her for more than a day (he did that once, called her to explain he was exhausted and apologized, he was yawning the entire time which made her realize he works himself to the bone.

Anyway, take your time and get to this when you can. Though I look forward to it, cause honestly I forget what I have asked so it's a nice surprise treat when you answer, like "Oh my Goth I asked that?" Thank you for all these lovely ask and answers. Safety and Peace upon you my friend.

Thank you and upon you as well, friend! Here's the link to the fanfic for those curious: Meta Assassins, please give it a try if you're interested and leave some love :)

If you want to keep it a suspense, one way would be to not write the accident scene at first. Shift the narration to Claudia or Federico or even Ezio and how they haven’t heard about Desmond for a while. Create a mini-mystery of some kind perhaps?

Then when they decided to fly to New York, that’s when the narration shifts back to Desmond. If you’re having problem writing the accident itself, you can set the narration to the same day that they set off to check Desmond and make it something that Desmond internally muses about. Focus the narration on what has happened after he was fired and how he’s holding up. Depending on how long it took for them to decide to fly to America, maybe the timeline was long enough that he needed to sell some things to pay the bills which included his computer and phone. Maybe he had to give up on paying his internet provider to pay the other bills using what he had saved up. Those would be valid reasons why he couldn’t say anything more to his friends.

Now, if you truly want the accident to be a central scene…

Well…

I’ve been clumsy since I was a kid (hence why I had to get a tetanus shot this month) so I can tell you that it might seemed ridiculous but one can do a lot of damage thanks to flailing limbs while ‘sliding’. He doesn’t have to be carrying the heavy product. He could be on his break and leaving the gas station when he skids across the floor and grabbed the first thing he could, which turned out to be the nozzle attached to a nearby car. The nozzle goes flying off the car and still dispensing gas and Desmond smacks his head hard against the car and his head bleeds.

Head bleeding tend to be heavy so they had to call 911 because they freaked out from seeing all the blood.

Of course, Desmond has no health insurance so now he has medical bills to pay for a head injury that he could have probably (probably) treated himself and, when he returned to his work, his boss fires him and tells him he has to pay for the wasted gas. And, because he was on his ‘break’ when it happened, his accident wasn’t covered by his ‘previous’ job (to be fair, Desmond is pretty sure that was just an excuse to not pay him squat).

Hope this helps and, even if you don’t use this, this gives you an idea of how to write this scene :)

(Also, instead of the gas, gas stations usually have convenient stores and you can make Desmond have his accident there where he grabs a shelf to stop his fall, breaks his ankle and crashes lots of merchandises that he has to pay for)

[etherealspacejelly]

JUST RAN OVER MY OWN FOOT WITH MY WHEELIE CHAIR WHAT THE FUCK

[butteryheart]

I HIT MY HEAD TWICE ON 2 DIFFERENT PIECES OF FORNITURE IN 5 SECONDS 😭

[boxwinebaddie]

Has Raven/Jersey ever broken a bone?

alright, *cracks knuckles*

this one goes out to sickfic princess ana and whumpwhiz rp.

*blows a kiss to the heavens bc they're angels* MWAH!

but aaaaany-knee-ways:

...it's interesting, actually.

( or at least, it is to me, darling. )

because of how he's written, you'd think probably think, 'oh, but nina! jerseykyle gets in all these fights. he's all big and tough and strong! he prolly breaks bones all the time!" and that's precisely IT, my dear!

jersey breaks bones;

he does not get his bones broken.

EVER.

and i suppose that's because he is a seasoned fighter. ergo, he knows how to throw a wicked punch, where exactly on your body it will hurt or humiliate you the most -- probably a combination of the two if he's feeling particularly pissed that day ( everyday ) -- how many times to do it, where you're vulnerable, sees everyone as a possible adversary and thus, weaponizes the moment he sees you, surveys you, sizes you up, indicates what kind of threat you are and…

Promptly Neutralizes You.

he takes all these precautions, runs all these tedious, elaborate tests and intense, premeditated processes of elimination ( literally ), not just because he does not like losing, which he doesn't...but because he literally can't. simply put: he does not know how to lose or get hit.

see, jersey does not cope with pain very well. mentally or physically. that's why he inflicts pain, because he is secretly scared of feeling it.

on the outside, he is a harsh, frightening, impenetrable, menacing thing covered in barbs and wires and armed heavily, because on the inside he is extremely fragile and should even the smallest chink in his armor form, his entire fierce façade will shatter into smithereens.

he does not like to get hurt, to feel weak, to feel unpleasant and horrible things, so he does everything in his power to be powerful so that he will never feel powerless. it's why he learned how to fight, it wasn't to hit people, it was to avoid being hit by other people. it was a defense mechanism because of how often he got bullied and how weak he constantly was from swimming out against the current of all his chronic illnesses. a lot of people would just let go of that short stick that life gave them and drown, but not kyle. not my baby. no, his life belongs to him. so he sharpened that stick into the shiv...

stuck it straight through the gut of life,

— and made god beg for HIS mercy.

but yes, it's all a perfectly placed show. because my boy, scary and frightening as he may be swinging those freckled fists of fury...

is a fucking WUSS.

who has not broken a lot of bones actually! not his anyways! because when he does lose a fight, he is a sore fucking loser indeed because he's suddenly hit with all this pain that he does not know how to endure or deal with and literally is such a baby and a princess, omg.

i /swear/ that WHOLE divorce whumpshot para and the one of him barfighting is him acting really tough and cool, but hes really like hooly shit, this sucks so fkn Bad, i hate this, i want my mOM!! :'(

riiiiiiiiiip, lmaooooo.

spoiler alert: jersey kyle is dainty and spoiled. he is a champion complainer and if gets a papercut...

you will hear about it.

trust.

conversely, however...lead singer ravenstan,

is very Quiet about pain.

ravenstan knows pain like the back of his hands, he, unfortunately, has had hands on him his entire life and where kyle learned to kick and claw and bite, stan just...internalized and endured all that pain.

he isn't brutal or vicious, he is kind and forgiving, he does not hurt things even if they are hurting him and has been hurt so much that being hurt is as easy as breathing to him…which is horrible because he has asthma and a lot of smoke-related respiratory damage.

but yeah, i actually ( god, i love you ravenstan ) want to scream because where jersey is hard outside and soft inside, raven is soft outside and hard inside and is extremely good at being hurt, ( a child weaned on pain thinks hurt is a comfort, rip ), will take pretty much anything you throw at him and because he literally does not want to inconvenience you...will not even indicate that he's hurt to you.

like he is very passionate about protecting and taking care of other people, but he does not care at all about himself or what happens to him, so if you're hurt, he is on his hands and knees, comforting you, placating you, doing whatever he can to help you...and he might have three bullets in his back, you wouldn't know until he started bleeding through his clothes and fell over. that man is a fucking TANK, guys.

the universe has tried to kill ravenstan...several tries.

( suicide tw, he has also tried a couple times </3 )

no such luck.

it helps that he actually has a surprising amount of off-hand medical knowledge because sharon transferred a lot of it onto him during stan's childhood when she was patching him up because he was a fkn disaster child who tracked mud and blood into her house 25/8, spent three days in a tree and took a hockey puck to the face.

i genuinely think that a large part of why stan was able to survive and endure a lot of the horrors he had was because sharon scolding him in spanish and teaching him stuff literally saved his fucking life.

but yeah, ravenstan is my selfless, accident prone king. he is such a mess, pilots his body so carelessly that it is legitimately frightening. he is constantly covered in bruises he doesn't remember getting, scratches he didn't even notice, does dumb shit and gets hurt and like literally can’t tell he's hurt until he is like abt to pass out.

tldr: rave gets hurt often and has broken a lot of bones.

usually because he's doing stupid, heroic shit.

for example, i am not sure how it got broken, i like to think it was at a concert or an event and he SAVED SOMEONE from something falling or what have you and broke the fuck out of his arm. so his arm was in a cast ( i need it to be hot pink ) and he was super bummed out and felt hella bad because he had a meet and greet and couldn't sign autographs so he just let everyone else...

give him Their autograph instead.

so no one got a personally signed picture of raven of crimson dawn, but much cooler, imo, was that they all personally signed his cast.

my eyes are leaking, lmao. branch in my eyeeee. ;-;

gods...sweet...sweet angel. uGh.

THIS IS SO LONG, BUT I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! idk why i got so invested in this, omg, but thank you for asking and being curious and thank you all for being so lovely and asking me things. it means a lot to me that you care and know i adore you.

-uncle nina, jerseykyle inflictor of angst pain

( and major wuss ) >.>

[pomodoriyum]

hard to pick since hes such a fashionista (<- patently false) but i think my favorite cfdv outfit is his getup in ep 2 with the pointy hood. his glasses. the balaclava that oscillates between adorable and yucknasty (how?????). the oversize mittens. the way hes just swimming in a smock of fabric thats a bit too big for him. post

[localapparently]

do u know how a lot of your artworks are just stuck to me now?? probably to a lot of ppl too. you seriously have magic in delivering heartfelt message through your art 🥹

thank you for your kind words ;-; a lot of times its just me being caught up in trying to express something, then after i finish the product im like "eghh,,, ive stared at this too long,,, will people understand how i felt when i scripted it?" and then people do. so seeing such reactions feel very rewarding.

[remyfire]

I've had a lot of really lovely experiences in this fandom, but I do think one of my favorites has been the amount of people who used to dislike or be ambivalent toward Beje, but who are now quite fond of him just because they've enjoyed spending a lot of time with me. Every time someone tells me that, I know I've got to be doing something right, at least

[autie-j]

"Whoa!" Bumps into something. Trips. "Whoops!" Falls down stairs. "Oof!" Spills a drink. Almost gets hit by a car.

[good-beans]

.

[maraune]

Hey brain pls stop spiralling over mini mistakes u made and the "tone" in an email

[ineedfairypee]

Twinning

[gobstoppr]

mspaint fanart of this fucked up xuppu plush i found on google

[asppen]

The mailman may be too clumsy, folks.

[ribbittrobbit]

andy anderson video part goes so hard and the song country by good morning is such a revelation