#why!!!!!!!!! can't i just have parents i can talk to and feel better afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ranger-kellyn]

this whole "getting better" thing fucking BLOWS. what do you MEAN i have to stick to this whole thing of exercising basically daily, spending at least an hour across the day doing stretches and yoga, eating at minimum three meals, stay away from social media, and dedicating at minimum 20 minutes to journaling every single fucking day. what do you MEAN if i start slacking on EVEN ONE of them, it dominoes until i'm right back in "i'd rather be dead" headspace.............................

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

I really wanted to write a fic where Edwin meets Crystal's mother for Day 2: Friends and Family of @crystal-week but life and concussions got in the way, so here it is, bullet-point style:

In her continuing attempts to get on her parents' good side, Crystal has offered to help them with the planning of a charity gala they throw every year. Last year, she was possessed during the gala and made a scene involving tearing into several trays of sushi in front of all the guests, so she's determined for everything to go perfectly this year. As a result, she's taken a bit of a step back from case work.

It's the night of the gala and everything's going smoothly. Crystal's done everything her parents asked and they both seem happy. She's having a pretty good night, until she turns around and sees her mother talking to a woman she recognizes as Edwin in disguise.

(Why is Edwin at the gala in his disguise? Probably because he needs Crystal's help on a case. Why didn't he just slip in unseen as a ghost in order to avoid social interaction or send Charles? Handwavy plot reasons.)

Really not wanting to see where this conversation goes, Crystal approaches, pausing when she hears Maddy Surname ask Edwin if he has any children. When he replies in the negative, she launches into a litany of complaints about her own daughter, who she says is selfish and spoiled, who has squandered every chance her parents have given her, who ruined last year's gala and has done nothing but get in the way while they were planning this year's.

Crystal knows how her mother feels about her. She can read her mind, after all. But hearing it laid out in such stark terms, when Crystal has been trying so hard, is like that phone call in Port Townsend all over again.

Edwin, who is visibly uncomfortable with having a stranger drunkenly gripe about her family troubles, looks around and spots Crystal standing nearby, unbeknownst to her mother. She knows she's not doing a very good job of hiding how close she is to tears.

And the thing is, Crystal knows where she stands with Charles, because Charles wears his heart on his sleeve. She considers Edwin a friend. But even if she knows he likes her better than he did when they first met, she's never been 100% sure if she's his friend, or if he just tolerates her for Charles's sake.

And then Edwin turns to Maddy and says something under his breath that Crystal can't hear. He's wearing the same icy expression he gets sometimes when a client disrespects Charles. Whatever his reply is, it leaves Crystal's mother speechless.

Edwin walks away from Maddy, offers his arm to Crystal without a word, and they leave the gala together. They don't talk about it. Crystal never asks what Edwin said to her mom.

They solve the case and afterwards, Edwin makes a point of telling Crystal that she did an excellent job. Crystal stays up all night with Edwin and Charles playing Cluedo. Around the third time she kicks their asses (Edwin, the sore loser, accuses her of reading the envelope) she realizes that she's been spending all this time trying to get back in her parents' good graces when she has this new family right here who likes her just as she is.

Next time she visits her parents, she overhears Maddy complaining to a friend about the awful woman at the gala who called her a fucking dreadful mother. Crystal just smiles to herself and decides to go buy Edwin some new mystery novels.

[eeboshmeebo]

💐Dandelion💐

Incorporating a childhood aspect with my favorite character.

@jyohan :3

@the-copycat-hero >:(

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Every time you saw a dandelion, you always told your parents to stop the car so you can go pick one and blow on it just for the sake of seeing the seeds scatter in the wind. Not to make a wish, but to see more of the bright yellow blossoms and their puffy seeds spread even more.

Safe to say, not many actual wishes were made unless they involved dandelions magically growing at your home or your parents buying some cotton candy in the fancy machine the ice cream parlor had.

The few wishes you actually made, though, always got fulfilled. Mostly because you said them out loud and your parents could always hear you, so you didn't think much of it.

One day, there was this one specific wish that stood out from all the others, one that you made on your thirteenth birthday.

"I wish to meet the prettiest boy in the whole world!" You cried out, before blowing and letting the dandelion seeds float into the air, carried away by the breeze.

It was just a spur of the moment thing. You didn't actually believe you'd meet him, since you were always told you had to keep your wishes quiet for them to come true, but it was nice to dream.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

And what a surprise it was, indeed, when you saw a boy with hair that reminded you of a dandelion about to bloom, eyes as blue as the morning sky, and a vitality in his voice that outmatched the plant that he reminded you of.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Is this what 1-A does in their break time? None of you even look like you're having a break, you're just sitting and talking!"

Maybe you were hallucinating, but there was this pinkish tint in the room the moment you saw him. Or there was sunlight shining on Mina again. Didn't matter.

He was, certainly, without a single doubt...

"...the prettiest boy in the whole world."

You smiled and leaned over your desk a bit more, resting your chin on your hands before he turned to face you, a sneer on his face as he immediately had something to say.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

"And you! You look extra stupid, anything to speak or is your head too empty to say a single thing?"

Monoma immediately had chosen the student that had a head in the clouds, despite the fact that those eyes were keenly focused on him and not having an unfocused gaze into nowhere. He surely won't regret thi-

"You're a wish come true... the prettiest boy in the world is real!"

"...ah!? What're you talking about?! I didn't come from a dumb wish!"

Why did you say that in front of everyone.

He bit his lower lip in an attempt to retain his composure, though he could physically feel the blush rising on his face.

"Wow, he even looks like a Rainier cherry when he blushes. I can just take a big ol' bi-"

"Harassment!"

"OW!"

Thankfully, the rectangular-looking student with glasses had slapped the back of your head before looking up back at him.

"I dearly apologize for our classmate's behavior. This has never happened before, and frankly, I expected better."

"Yeah, just... discipline your classmates better. Hmmph. Unruly..."

Before his face could turn even redder, he quickly fled out of the classroom while covering his face, running past Kendo who looked at him with an expression he'd rather not see at the moment.

He'd have to look up Rainier cherries later and send a thank-you gift to glasses guy in secret afterwards since nobody could know he thanked a 1-A student of all people.

"Can't believe that... that..! Ugh! Just go and... and eat dirt!"

He kicked a stray eraser on the way back to the 1-B classroom, grumbling to himself the entire time.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

"No. Way. Iida!" Mina hissed, pulling Iida by the jacket and closer to her desk, her eyes wide with shock and her teeth gritted together as she pulled him down by the collar.

Iida practically felt the urgency in her voice and toned down his voice, but also made sure to fix his glasses' position. "What's the problem, Mina? I've rarely heard you this panicked before."

She rolled her eyes before leaning in even closer to him, whispering into his ear.

"Our classmate's in love with the blondie that came earlier."

His reddening face immediately paled at that news. Proximity to the opposite sex was nothing compared to the realization that his classmate was in love with that guy who just barged in, insulted his class, and then left.

"The whole thing..?" He weakly asked, covering his mouth with one hand to hide the way his jaw dropped at the news.

"Yes," Mina hissed yet again, looking around before continuing. "The doki-doki, badump-badump. The rose-tinted glasses. The whole head-over-heels. The comment about biting the other guy. Our classmate is in love."

"Oh no... we're too young! Studies should be a priority, not romance!"

"I'd love to say otherwise, but right now we have to find a way to help our classmate fall out of love with that guy before it's too late."

"A shameful thing..."

"But our classmate, our friend, can do so much better than him. We just need to expose a side worse than the one he exposed today."

It was settled. Mina and Iida would help you rise back out of love via... exposure therapy.

"What're you two talking about?"

"Nothing big, just planning a few things, dear classmate!"

"Okay then... you do you, I guess."

They both sighed in relief as you went back to doodling and rubbing the back of your head. This had to be kept a secret, lest unwanted events occur, like you falling deeper in love.

~✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿~

Part one of plan Yellow Rose. Yellow roses mean 'friendship'. They can accept friendship, but not romance.

Mina and Iida brought you to 1-B's classroom. Surely, seeing Monoma new side would diminish your affection for him, right? That's what they hoped for, anyways.

"What're we doing, again?"

"We're taking you to class 1-B to apologize for your uncouth comment. Their class representative heard you from the hallway."

That right there was a rehearsed line from last night. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard to convince you to follow them so a lot of the lines they practiced didn't need to be used.

"And right here is the other class..." Mina started talking as she opened the door, but she hesitated when you stepped inside.

"Don't make a scene, okay?"

"..."

"Buddy?"

Too late. Iida was frantically moving his arms and making robotic gestures that Mina couldn't make heads or tails of, while you had already locked onto someone and beelined towards him.

"Wishboy! You're here! No wonder you disappeared so quickly yesterday, you were here all along! Oh, wow, you're really pretty up close. Has anyone told you before that you've got really smooth skin? Your lips, too. They're like flower petals."

Monoma's face progressively got redder the longer you rambled on, to the point where it was visible despite his efforts to hide his blush.

"Oh, really? well, I wish I could say the same for you, but I'd rather not waste my breath on the likes of you." Monoma teased, though he was as smooth as almond butter at the moment.

"Really? Damn... because even your voice is pretty, too."

Part one obviously failed, judging by the current situation. Mina facepalmed while Iida picked you up by the arms and walked back out of the classroom, the lovestruck look on your face obvious to anyone seeing it.

However, while they left with you in tow, Monoma couldn't help but wonder...

"...are you playing with me, or is this real?"

~✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿~

Part two. Since meeting him when he was calm didn't work, how about when he was riled up after training? Surely, seeing him all messed up, exhausted, and disheveled should do the trick.

Mina and Iida had teamed up with Sero and Tooru to make sure this plan won't screw up... again.

They had told you to bring some perfume and towels just in case, though you came to the training grounds with the entire beach supply set. Handheld fan, sunscreen, UV umbrella, the works. Maybe you saw that the temperature was high today or something.

Sero, Tooru, and Mina were definitely thankful for the shade since it was sweltering outside. Iida was negotiating with Vlad King to watch the rest of training. The 1-B students had mostly finished their training ahead of time and were resting under one of the thinner umbrellas on the training area at the moment, but there were a few more students that didn't come over yet...

"Can you see him, Mina..?" Tooru whispered behind you, fanning herself to keep away the heat.

"No, not yet. Where is he? He- oh."

And over the negligible hill came Monoma.

Dear god, what a mess.

Sweating, shaking, stumbling, somehow in last place, and downright unrecognizable to the untrained eye. And he somehow lost his gym uniform top.

What. A. Mess-

"Wait. Hold on, are you kidding me?"

"Noooo... nooo!"

When the trio looked towards you, you were practically eyeing him up like a critic over a runway model despite him being the furthest thing away from a model at the moment.

Mina had hidden behind Tooru to shield herself, though it was the handheld fan that did most of the work and not Tooru herself for obvious reasons. Sero had just looked away.

While the three students had deigned themselves to not look while you fawned over what was probably the messiest sight ever, you walked up to Monoma with a towel, some water, and an ice pack in hand.

Iida, however, was able to see what was going on after Vlad King was satisfied with his explanation.

"Want some water?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for the wa..." Iida could see that Monoma took the offered water and took a hefty swig, but choked when he saw who it was.

"Y-you!?"

"Yeah, it's me. Heh, you're really cute when shocked."

"I'm not cute! Why're you here, anyways!? To make fun of me? You probably are!"

"But that's mean, and you're far too cute to be mean to..."

"You're lying. I can see it on your face. AH! Let go unless you want me to copy your Quirk!"

"I'm fine with that if it means I get to hold your hand."

"...you're not deterred by the fact I can copy your Quirk?"

"Of course not! I actually think it's a really cool and useful power,

Iida felt like he was watching an unstoppable force and an unmovable wall go head-to-head, but the wall was crumbling quickly and gaining the shade of red bricks as it did.

The wall being Monoma. Oddly enough, Iida felt a bit sour watching this entire exchange, watching you wipe the sweat off Monoma's face casually despite the boy's protests and how you kept on teasing him.

"Ah, the sourness of being single..."

Iida jumped, or would have, if he didn't have Mina's hands on his shoulders while she grimaced.

"It's like they're in a relationship and they don't even know it. Frustrating! I ship it, though."

"Mm-hmm." He agreed, before guiding his friends away from the training grounds. He now knew what it felt like to be a 'single dog' that he always heard about, unfortunately.

♡✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿♡

A week later.

"So..."

Monoma fidgeted around with one the many daisy-buttercup flower rings on his hands, sitting on a picnic blanket under a tree while you had two dandelions in hand and scoured the field for more.

"Did you really mean them? Those compliments you said to me."

"Hmm... yep. All of them. I wouldn't be bothered to even think of any if they weren't about you, wishboy."

It was so, so confusing. He plucked a daisy from nearby, admiring the petals and the slight pinkish hues. English daisies with their gentle hues and layers of petals. He started picking at the petals, a small game of 'Love me, loves me not' going though his mind.

"That's more flattering than I thought it'd be, really. I still can't believe that you don't mind me touching you, even my own classmates needed a little while to get used to me, and boom! Here you are, just..."

"Waltzing up to you without a hint of discomfort?"

You sat down next to him and offered him a dandelion that had already turned into a soft puff of seeds. He took it, but didn't look at it closely in favor of looking at you.

"Yeah. It's almost uncanny, but also comforting."

"Aww, it's nice to hear that you think of me in that way. Really."

You stretched out, raising your own dandelion in front of you while you held onto his free hand.

"Wanna know why I brought you out here?"

"It's not because you want to compare blooming dandelions to my hair, is it?"

"Only partially. The real thing is that... well, it's a childish thing, really, but if you blow on these," You lifted up your dandelion a bit more to emphasize it. "And make a wish, it might come true. That's what I grew up being told, anyways."

Blowing on plant seeds to make a wish, huh? Curious. He set aside his half-plucked daisy and kept the dandelion you gave him securely in hand, ready to blow on it whenever.

"It does seem a little silly, but judging by how big the field is, it must be fun, anyways."

"Definitely."

Monoma could feel his hand being squeezed, but he successfully ignored the blush on his cheeks as he saw you ready to blow on your dandelion.

Three...

Two...

One...

Fwuuuuuuu!

You and Monoma blew on your dandelions at the same time, watching the seeds scatter into the wind and lift into the sky.

"This feels kind of like a date."

And there goes the mood. He gulped a bit out of nervousness, and suddenly, his collar felt a bit too tight.

"Oh, sorry. This could just be hanging out if you want-" "No! No, I- uh... I'm fine with this being a date, actually."

Your silence felt suffocating. More suffocating than anything else's he's felt. He squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating disappointment.

He didn't anticipate the soft touch of your lips on his hand.

"A date it is, then. I was just a bit shocked earlier because wow, you're really pretty and I just realized that again."

He opened his eyes, much less tense than earlier... then he threw a bunch of petals into your face.

"Don't do that! You scared me, hahaha!"

"Pfffbwth- ah, okay, I won't do that next time, but also, petal attack!"

♡✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿♡

Class 1-A and 1-B were watching from a distance to make sure everything went well as it could be... and in return, they got the heart-wrenching feeling of being single.

A worthy sacrifice. Especially since Kaibara got some really good pictures on his polaroid camera to pin up later.

[bedtimegiraffe]

I finally figured out why all the party members in Book 2 come out as so frustratingly self-focused to me.

It's not because they're all struggling with their own stuff. It's all about shelving your agenda- that thing in a relationship where you go, 'You need my support right now, so we're going to worry about my thing later.'

And MC does this constantly.

I just barely escaped death and found out a year passed, but is Kade recovered from the Shadow Court?

I just almost drowned, but it's time to comfort this owlbear cub and unpack Valax's trauma!

I just almost died twice to the Ash Empress, but is Nia coping with being corrupted okay?

Which can be okay. Shelving your agenda is part of a healthy relationship of any kind.

The problem is that no one does it back. I think Tyril and Nia kind of sum up the whole group's attitude:

But I don't think MC was ever going to be 'ready.' Someone else was always going to have to 'unshelve' it for them and make an effort to put the focus on MC.

Now, adventurers don't tend to be particularly well adjusted people. The full party has got maybe 1.5 healthy childhoods and 4 living parents between them (judged pretty generously). But it still feels like the others can't get it together enough to ask if MC is okay. Not that MC really makes it easy! I see MC as someone who is so used to pushing their feelings down to focus on whatever work is in front of them, they almost can't access their own emotions.

Which is why we had the brief glimpses of panic and the breakdown moment in Chapter 17. I think the breakdown makes sense mechanically. Kade is the one character your MC is guaranteed to have a strong connection to and this way it's not gated behind any diamond choices (like some really crucial character moments with Aerin and Valax, no I'm not bitter about it). But that makes it feel like the whole party has been neglecting MC while Kade immediately sees MC and goes, "Dude, you are not okay. Talk to me.'

And MC tries to turn it into comforting Kade! Kade has to actively argue with MC to make them actually acknowledge that they're having a hard time.

MC for some reason can't or won't talk about their own trauma and Kade (who's only been around for 5 minutes) is the one who has to actively force the issue for MC's own good. Which is not a great look for the rest of the found family.

Afterward, Mal and Nia both seem to address it without really getting the point. Mal says, "We know things didn't go the way any of us wanted." (Which could mean... anything. But I'm feeling generous.)

Protecting MC from death is not an equivalent exchange to talking about feelings! It is in fact dodging the feelings by focusing on practicalities again! Y'all better get it together in Book 3, I swear.

Overall, MC constantly delays addressing their own vulnerability and issues to focus on everyone else. And the others don't know how to do the same thing for MC, so the pattern just gets more engrained and damaging.

Except for Kade, my perfect boy.

Sources (they're fun, I promise!):

Screenshots from Neckrone Shen's playthroughs of Blades on YouTube, my go-to for whenever I can't remember something or don't have the screenshots myself.

I think @oh-so-youre-a-nerd's incredible piece 'Take Take Take' kept rattling around in my head until I figured out how to articulate why it felt this way: https://www.tumblr.com/oh-so-youre-a-nerd/736449955360899072/take-take-take?source=share

The language of 'shelving your agenda' came from the very good Cinema Therapy video about Kristoff from Frozen:

[bairdthereader]

Julio Spring, let's have a chat.

I find this man hard to write about because sometimes he makes himself exactly what his son needs, and other times he's almost damagingly quiet. Without knowing too much about Julio's past (I think I've read everything Alice has written about him, but for the purposes of this post I'm going to focus mainly on what we know from the show), it can be hard to parse his motivations and actions. But one thing we know for sure is that Julio is deeply concerned for Charlie.

The most poignant scene between them is obviously when Julio hugs Charlie after Harry's party. He can sense immediately that something is wrong, very wrong, but has the intuition and sensitivity to push aside the intense curiosity he must be feeling about why, or the details of what happened, and addresses the most pressing issue--Charlie's need for comfort and support.

Though we never see it on screen, or even much in the books aside from some narrative flashbacks, this must be a tragically familiar scenario for Julio; after all, he's been through at least a year or more of dealing with the aftermath of the bullying Charlie experiences. How achingly difficult must it be for Julio to repeat "it's going to be okay" to his son when he knows there's a good chance it might not ever be truly okay. The trust that Charlie must have in Julio to allow himself to fall apart in front of him indicates that Julio must have handled those past crises with enough care to make Charlie see him as a safe space. [And we can't assume that Julio is safe for Charlie just because he's his father--Alice makes it clear in other storylines that safety with family is far, far from a given.]

Julio has gone through this enough times that, when it's time to drop Charlie off at the cinema, he's clearly torn between allowing Charlie the freedom he needs, and the space to make his own judgments about what he can handle, versus his parental desire to protect Charlie from harm. The fact that he gives Charlie that space earns him a lot of respect in my eyes.

Afterward, he can tell that the conversation between Charlie and Ben was an antagonistic one, and that his concerns were valid. There's nothing worse as a parent than anticipating hurt for your child and then having that fear come true. But Julio doesn't push, or dig for more. Maybe he should have, but those calls are always hard to make, and even harder to judge from the outside.

A lot of Julio's tender and caring moments happen in the first season, so it's hard to watch in season two when there are many scenes where Julio is so obviously upset, worried, or angry, and yet does nothing. Sometimes, admittedly, it's hard to know what to do, and that's valid, but we need him to try.

We need Julio, who understands Jane and where she's coming from at least a little better than Charlie does, to step in and mediate when she's clearly letting her own past and her parents' critical behavior impact how she's interacting with her son.

We need Julio to follow up on his concern, that niggling worry and doubt that he has, about Charlie not eating and isolating himself.

We need Julio to object when he witnesses Charlie engaging in negative self-talk, to bolster his son with words of support.

Julio Spring is a good dad who cares incredibly deeply for a son he can't always completely understand, but there's room for growth here too. I really hope we get to see that in season 3.

*And fear not, the infamous hanky panky conversation will get its own post.

[jeeseth]

grumpy

pairing : park minju x fem!reader

summary : after not attending school for a week because of your fever, your girlfriend who is also the student council president has been living with a grey cloud with her.

genre : fluff, angsty, kinda nsfw at the end

cw/tw : men, harassing, violence, bruises and wounds.

“Good morning, y/n!” A bright Jeemin greeted you while hugging your side.

“Morning Jee!” You smiled lovingly, opening your arms so that Youngseo and Hyewon who was behind Jeemin can hug you too. You all shared a group hug before pulling away.

As you pulled away, Jeemin looked at you with her puppy eyes and pouted. You chuckled before caressing her cheeks.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you.” Jeemin muttered while fixing her hair.

“Sorry, I had a fever.” You chuckled awkwardly, scratching your not-so itchy nape.

You missed school last week because you had a severe fever. You didn't have enough energy to do anything, so you spent the entire week resting in bed. Your parents have already taken you to the clinic to get some medicine and have you checked out. You could hear a number of notifications from your phone, but you're so unwell that you can't even get it from beside the bed.

“I’m glad that you feel better now.” Youngseo smiled, patting your head afterwards. “But, I feel like someone is still in a bad mood since last week~” Youngseo giggled, you look up at her, feeling confused.

“Hm, I wonder why our students president was so grumpy last week?” Hyewon said, pretending to think.

You laughed and quickly realised what they meant. You feel bad for not informing your girlfriend that you're sick. Even your mother wondered whether you tell Minju about it or not, because you discovered that Minju had called your mom to asked why you didn’t came to school. You wouldn't be surprised if the notifications is all from her.

“She is?” You giggled as they all snapped their heads toward your direction.

“She’s like way grumpier than she already is!” Youngseo rolled her eyes playfully, remembering what happened last week.

They told you that last week, during the morning assembly, Minju won’t let them seat and suddenly her speeches were so damn long. You couldn’t believe it when they said that Minju was in her office all day long. Minju’s friends were also worried about that girl.

“Ay, there’s no way it’s all because of me-”

“It is!!” Your friend group and Minju’s friend group said in unison causing you to flinched.

“Where did you guys even came from?!?” You shrieked.

By the look of it, it seems like they were just passing by. You couldn’t help but to noticed that Minju isn’t with them, that’s weird.

“Uh, we were just passing by and couldn’t help but to eavesdrop y’all talking.” Yunah laughed out loud but then she stopped when Jeongeun slapped the back of her head.

“Talking about Minju, she’s still walking around with a grey cloud with her.” Jeongeun sighed, massaging her temples.

“Damn y/n, you really should go and talk to her asap. That girl isn’t even functioning properly since she’s so worried about you.” Jihyun said, wrapping her arms around your shoulders. “Did you not tell her that you’re sick?”

You shakes your head, “no I didn’t, I was so sick that I can barely open my eyes.” You pouted.

“By the way, do you guys have any meetings today?” You asked Yunah, Jihyun and Jeongeun since they’re also in the student council.

“Nope, we don’t have any today.” Jeongeun said as you nodded in response.

“Don’t worry, you have the whole day to make it up to Minju. Just don’t do anything freaky in her office!” Yunah teased and went to her class with Jihyun and Jeongeun trailing behind her, bidding you guys goodbye. Your cheeks flushed a bright pink tint at what Yunah just said.

“It’s time for us to go too, let’s go!” Hyewon said, linking her arms with yours.

Your first and second periods went well, and you have virtually the same classes as Youngseo. Even if you were told to stop chatting so much, it was still enjoyable. It was recess, and you sat next to Jeemin, drinking your banana milk. You also brought an extra one for Minju, as you want to meet her when school finishes.

“You sure, y/n?” They asked, when you told them to just go home first without you later.

“Yeah, I planned on meeting Minju for a while. You guys can go first.” You smiled as they all nodded.

“Bye, y/n!” Jeemin waved at you and you waved back at her, before making your way to Minju’s office.

You were almost at her office when you ran into someone, forcing you to fall. "Ouch…" you winced. You sense a presence in front of you and look up to find two terrifying-looking students. Their uniform made it clear that they were not from around here. You thoughts were cut off when one of them grabbed you by your collar.

“My my, what a pretty lady like you doing here?” He chuckled as he let go off your collar.

“U-um, I just need to go to that office so please excuse me.” You said, attempting to walk away but was stopped by another man standing in front of you.

"Calm down, what's the hurry for?" He stated while looking at you with hunger and lust in his eyes. He looked around before bringing you closer to him, pressing your bodies together. And there's another man at your back. You swear you want to cry at this point.

“Hey, why not let’s have some fun hm?” He whispered and started caressing your body, you let out a whimper when the other man covered your mouth with his hands. Your tears were pouring out like a waterfall right now and you wished for nothing but someone or that specific someone to save you.

The man in front of you was about to touch you again, but before he could, he was pulled back roughly by the hair. You flinched but took the chance to bite the man at your back palms, causing him to let out a yelp. You were quick to run a little bit far away, and you tried your best to look through your wet eyelashes. And there you saw Minju throwing blow after blow to the both of them. Her shirt wasn’t tucked in, she threw her blazer somewhere else, and her tie was loosening a bit. Minju kept fighting before a teacher came and stopped her. It seems like it was the two dudes, teacher. He apologised to Minju and your principal before pulling his students away. The principal asked if Minju was okay, and she said she’s fine, before the principal left to settle with those two. 

Through your vision you saw Minju came to you and kneeled in front of you before picking you up in bridal style. You nuzzled your face in her necks and let her carry you to what felt like her office. She put you down on the sofa before going to close the door. She came back to you and kneeled in front of you with her hands caressing your thighs.

“Love,” she called out, and you hummed in response. You wiped your tears away and looked at her. You saw that her lips were bleeding and her temple was bruised with an ugly purple colour. 

You cupped her face, and she leaned into your warm palms. You peck her nose softly before standing up to take a medkit. A few moments later, you sat back down with a medicine kit in your hands. You patted the empty seats beside you as a sign to tell her to sit down. 

In silence, you carefully treated her wounds. You’re being extra careful with the one that’s still bleeding. Without realising it, you were so focused on treating Minju’s wound that you didn’t see that she was staring at you the whole time. You only realised that when you started treating her lips and making eye contact with her.

She smiled softly before you went back to treating her bruised lips like you weren’t completely flustered by that. “Stop it, i need to focus.”

She just chuckled quietly and continued staring at you until you’re done. You pull away and look at her wounds, looking a bit better than before.

“Um, don’t i get a kiss for being obedient?” Minju asked nonchalantly, making you roll your eyes.

“Is this really the grumpy president everyone been talking about?” You scoffed before laughing at how Minju’s pouting.

“Aw, come on…” she mumbled, intertwining your hands afterwards. You giggled quietly before pecking her lips.

You pull away and saw Minju still pouting. “Why? Is that not enough hm?”

“I want a kiss, and that’s only a peck.”

“Minju, your lips taste like ointment you know.”

“Tch, if you won’t kiss me then I will.” she smirked before pinning you down against the sofa.

Let’s just say, the ointment on her lips were no longer there for some, reasons.

a/n — i don’t really like this 😭 imma make another one soon as an apology ;)

[sawyerconfort]

dancing with the devil | verna x reader

I'm back!!!

this one is just a spooky season special, as I've been away for all these days and haven't done one yet, I thought it would be cool to do it now!

this oneshot comes a lot from my obsession with Mike Flanagan's work, which even led me to watch The Fall of the House of Usher recently.

and, of course, it also comes from my obsession with Carla Gugino.

so, I hope you like it!

late requests coming out soon, so stay tuned!

enjoy!

requests open, but please be patient with me.

---------------------

PROMPT: It's New Year's Eve, and you find yourself in a bar, completely alone, with no one to give you the good luck's kiss. But a mysterious new barista catches your eye, and she could be your salvation, if only she didn't hide so many secrets.

***

You weren't one to complain, but it had been a pretty horrible year.

People generally await the New Year with a lot of ambition, full of resolutions, glamorous plans and self-centered achievements. But you do not.

You just wanted the next one to be better.

As if the miserable conditions you were experiencing at Fortunato were not enough, not being paid enough for the effort you made, sitting at the reception desk at the behest of the great Rufus Griswold - who did nothing except try to harass you in every way -, in a routine exhausting where you could never sleep properly, you still had your parents, and the terrible relationship you had with them.

So, when you sat at that bar, at the lonely counter, all you thought about was stuffing yourself until you pass out, hoping for a counting miracle. Some people were getting along well when you arrived, and others were giving you side-eye, but with the thought that you were less attractive to them, you decided that the counter would be the best option.

Suddenly, those eyes that looked yellow from afar fell on you, and the figure that carried them turned around, with a subtle smile.

"I see someone needs a drink, hm?"

You looked at her, and shrugged, before answering. "Just today. I can't drink, I still have work tomorrow."

She continued to smile, and you had the slight impression that her eyes had returned to their normal color. Clear, deep and very eye-catching. But it could just be the impression, because you were too exhausted to make sense.

"Ah, I understand. Just a minute, I'll prepare something relaxing for you, miss…"

"(Y\N)."

She nodded, turning away and concentrating on preparing whatever the drink was. Like I said before, you were too tired to care about what drink you were going to drink. If you could just get to New Year with something in your throat, that would be a good idea.

After minutes that felt like seconds of waiting, the barista turned to you, two shiny glass cups in her hands. She was still smiling subtly as she slid your glass and turned hers in her other hand.

She served you with the same smile, and then looked at you. "It's funny, I can see there's something wrong with you... Something that's stopping you from celebrating tonight."

You looked back at her, frowning, and sighing afterwards.

"It's true, it was... It wasn't a very good year", you commented, feeling terrible for venting to a stranger. "But the year ahead will be better, I know that."

"And why is that? Why was it so bad?"

"My boss, my work... everything makes me exhausted... and not having anyone to talk to is really bad at these moments...", You took a sip. "Um, that's great, is it Merlot?"

"It's Merlot, but it's not one of the best...", the barista said, tapping her glass still. "I've seen and experienced better, around the world."

"Have you been around the world?", you asked, unable to resist your curiosity. She smiled and nodded. "Where did you go? On that expedition?"

"I've been there too, but not just on this occasion", she said, and suddenly stopped, as if she were saying too much. "You know, it's interesting, being on the other side. Sometimes it's tiring, it breaks my heart, but... It's good, there are things there that are worth the effort."

You were more intrigued. She didn't look like the type of person who would travel around the world, wearing black clothes and a gothic look, as if she wanted to hide on purpose. Generally, these trips are made for people who want to be seen, above all else in the world.

"What are you talking about, exactly?"

"Have you ever had a dream... a desire... a deep, hidden desire that no one has ever fulfilled, and that you yourself didn't imagine you could achieve?", she looked at you with the same curiosity as you. "I'm like... A dream maker. I go on these trips just for that..."

You frowned, still not understanding, but took another sip to hide it, nodding.

"Are you the personification of the genie in the lamp?"

She laughed. "Ah, I would like to, but no. It would be a lot of ego on my part, but I would say that I'm better than him", she laughed. "Verna is my name, but the name never makes that much of a difference to me."

“Different name, never heard it before,” you said, drinking again. "Are you from here?"

"I'm from nowhere. I'm everywhere, at all times... it's strange, I know, but it makes sense to me."

You nodded, finding it strange. And then, he found it even stranger when she helped herself to the Merlot on the counter and drank some. She smiled at you, still tapping the glass.

"But what about you, (Y/N)? Do you have any desires that you thought would be unrealizable, unattainable? Please be honest with me."

You opened your mouth, and then thought a little. "No. I think I'm happy this way. Except for a few little things that I would change here and there..."

She softened her gaze and took a sip, her clear eyes suddenly yellowed again and wide, fixed on you. "What kind?"

“Like, my boss giving me the justice I deserve, and stop hitting on me,” you laughed, drinking the last sip and pouring yourself again. "Not much."

"Your boss is too terrible for you, (Y/N)," Verna replied, smiling. "Don't ask me how I know this, but I do. One day someone will show him what's really good, don't worry."

You frowned. "You seem so sure, are you some kind of psychic?"

She laughed. "No. I would like to be, but no. I... I see people's possibilities. And that's it. I help them based on the possibilities."

She stared at you again, and looked away at the TV, where the ball was falling on the screen in Times Square.

"Oh, it looks like it's almost time," she whispered, laughing. "Your year is going to be great, (Y/N), I'll make sure of that."

“You…” you started, but she shushed you, smiling.

"You just have to make a deal with me."

"What kind of deal?"

Verna thought for a while, and then smiled. "Wow, you seem so sure..."

She was mocking you, of course, you realized right away, and with a muffled laugh, you glanced back at the TV, hearing people echoing a countdown. The ball finally reached its destination, and you turned around, seeing Verna's yellow eyes glued to yours again. She suddenly leaned over and stole a peck from you, taking a little too long to pull away.

“Was that your deal?”, you whispered, smiling mischievously. Verna took a moment to open her eyes and then tilted her head, as if agreeing.

She thought for a while and then finally said, her voice low, slowly close to your ear, as if she wanted to seduce or bewitch you. She had one of the softest voices you'd ever heard, and apparently she knew how to use it.

"Actually, it was a plan to find out if you were trustworthy, if you were innocent enough to accept my deal…", she whispered. "And because I know, deep down, that what you wanted most was to be kissed on New Year's Eve, my sweet client."

You trailed off, looking at her, getting lost in the soft expression on her pale face. Suddenly, an impulsive idea occurred to you, and you leaned in again, kissing her, this time with more intensity. When you touched her hair, behind the back of her head, you had the impression that it melted at the touch, as if Verna were just an illusion, as if she were the literal cosmic dust from which human beings possibly emerged.

However, the kiss didn't last long. She pushed you away with her feather-light hands, and to the naked eye, it looked like it was just a breeze of wind stopping you both. She touched your face, running her fingers lightly across your cheek as she whispered:

"We can't do that right now, (Y\N). I'm afraid you're not sober enough, and it wouldn't be wise for me to take advantage of this."

You looked at it for a moment and realized it made sense. But she had kissed you first, so it was clearly just an excuse, as always happened. You started to wonder if your kiss was that bad.

"But, Verna…"

"Please, darling. I'm trying to be reasonable. Like I said, I work with possibilities, and the possibility of us working out is less than zero. Don't get me wrong, it's just in case…", she hesitated. "Condemning pure-souled humans to my cruel and inevitable fate wouldn't be extremely political of me."

You sighed, and gave her the space she needed, even though you couldn't take your eyes off her. Verna was the same, and you could feel that, despite what it seemed like, that moment you shared wasn't just fun, much less just a New Year's kiss.

Verna poured you the rest of the Merlot and, with the same soft expression, touched your face again. This time, her voice was clear, and in a moment of vulnerability, she made it more than explicit that she wasn't lying when she said:

"But we'll still meet, (Y\N)," she whispered, her fingers again like soft feathers touching his skin. "Our deal may not have been sealed, but you've proven enough innocence and courage to convince me that you're capable of this. You'll have a great new job, I promise, and your boss will never bother you again."

She nodded, and you allowed yourself to nod too, so confused that you definitely didn't know what to believe anymore. There was a little devil on your shoulder urging you to try again, and there was another devil, right in front of you, who would be harder to convince than you expected.

"And of course, you will have my full protection," Verna whispered, smiling. "I'm not going to promise you eternal life, because that would be impossible even for someone like me. But I promise, and I need you to believe me on this one, I promise that I will move mountains so no one will hurt you again."

You smiled, and drank the last sip. Suddenly, another impulse. This time, a question, instead of an action.

"What are you? An angel? A genie without a lamp? A tempting devil who seeks souls and deals?"

Verna smiled, and simply looked away at her glass again, magically empty. "I already told you. I'm nothing, I don't have a life. I'm just what your mind wants me to be."

You were confused, but suddenly, a memory hit you hard. When you looked at Verna, it was as if she already knew.

"I really need to go. My mom will be furious if I get home late, even on New Year's..."

She nodded. "Please don't take any chances. This part, I won't be able to protect you."

You laughed, stood up and slid out the only dollar bill you had. Verna looked at the ballot, he turned it around and handed it back to you, denying it.

"No need. The bill is already paid."

"What?"

"Please don't insist. I insist."

You looked at her, shrugged, and frowned, suddenly realizing that maybe it was for the best. She kept watching you, until you left, and as soon as you turned outside, on the street, you noticed who had just walked through a solid wall.

The bar was gone.

And she was gone too.

Even more confused - and blaming the drink -, you put your hands in your pockets to protect yourself, and walked back home, into the daylight. As soon as you crossed the street, however, another very curious thing caught your attention.

There was a raven, standing still, resting on a post. It was just any raven, but it was a raven, and it looked down at you. Suddenly, you had the impression that he had winked at you.

"What nonsense. Ravens don't blink," you whispered to yourself, looking at the raven again. He remained there, standing still, as if he hadn't even noticed you. Deciding to ignore that crazy night, you turned around.

As you disappeared down the street, you whispered to yourself once again.

"Ravens don't blink."

Oh, but if you only knew that they do more than blink... If you only knew...

[goodluckclove]

Why Are You a Writer?

So the other day I did the second of my Writer's Refuge interview series, soon to be posted later this week. It went pretty well! It was with an artist on here I admire a lot and it was a really interesting conversation.

Perhaps even too interesting. We got onto the topic on why a person would tell stories, and their answer ended up being drastically different than mine. It ended up sending my on a little bit of a spiral (No fault of yours if you read this, Cass), but I didn't really talk about it with her at the time. You know, it's an interview. It's not about me.

My instinct when I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable is to sort of hide away most of the time, but it's a sleepy day in the Gardener household and I think it might help me to talk about it. So below the read more I'm going to get deeper into the question often asked to people in my trade: why are you a writer?

Spoiler alert: it's because I'm lonely.

No real gravitas or dramatics there, I don't think. Little actual literary merit. I've heard people say that they're writers because they're overtaken by stories, just a vessel to the act of creation that can't help but craft narratives. I think that's cool in theory, and it's something I relate to, but I also think it's a mind type that doesn't exist in a vacuum.

I grew up a child of addicts with about a five and eight-year age gap between me and the rest of my siblings. We were conditioned to be deeply loyal to each other and care in the way our parents couldn't care for us, but most of the time my siblings didn't want to play with me. My parents didn't want to play with me. I had a few friends at school, but not many of them were able to hang out with me outside of campus for one reason or another. Throughout my developmental years I spent a majority of my time on my own, just figuring out different ways to entertain myself.

And I felt a fundamental other-ing from the rest of the people around me. I was precocious, considered "mature for my age" (a poison adults have been feeding the youth for generations), but it went deeper than that. I would speak quickly to my peers, joking almost frantically without letting them get a word in edgewise. It felt like they all knew a common language I was never able to learn and never could. At one point in middle school I told myself I was better than them. i don't think that anymore. Now I'm just confused.

As an adult I'm often confused by other people, sometimes to the point of fear. I struggle to stay afloat in large social situations, to look charming and keep the other person placated and talking, making sure they don't realize the fundamental truth that I'm not supposed to be there. Sometimes it gets to the point where I'm so exhausted that I physically can't look at human faces for hours afterwards. They all look like fleshy slugs.

Does that make sense? I say that a lot in conversation with those around me, a constant plea for validation. Am I making sense?

So I write. I write a lot. With no other line of work at the moment I've been writing about 60k words every month for the better part of the last year. And I do it to tell a story I'm passionate about, sure. I do it to process emotional ghosts from my past. But if I'm being honest with myself I know I write to create a connection between myself and the audience. To create a story that someone can read or watch and say "I understand", even if their interpretation is different than my own.

I do it because I'm lonely. And I'm not really proud of that. But it's the truth.

Riley was surprised when I told them this. So are you saying that if you were happy you wouldn't be a writer? They asked. Well, I am happy. I'm also lonely. These two things can exist at once.

But if I had a different life. A more functional family system that would've likely resulted in me needing far less treatment than I currently do. If all that was the case then I might not see the need to be deeply embedded in my own head. The rest of the world might not come off as the threat it sometimes is. But then again, my life and my identity would be so drastically different that I don't really see the point in speculating.

Would I be a writer? Maybe. I don't know. I'd probably have other hobbies.

I don't usually like talking about myself like this. It feels indulgent. A little too skin-less for my tastes. But, as with anything else, maybe someone younger and in a similar state could read me talking in this way and feel an aspect of comfort. If one person does then that would be worth it. I'm glad I'm a writer and I think I'm a capable one. I'm also aware that being a capable writer doesn't necessarily mean you're also deeply neurotic, which is both a comfort and a small point of envy.

If you've read to this point - which, by the way, is an oddity of cosmic proportions to me, maybe reblog and speak a bit about how you became a writer. But maybe be a little honest with yourself. If it comes from a deep well of pain, that's meaningful. If you just want to create a powerful story that people can lose themselves in, that's also meaningful.

You don't need to suffer to be a good artist. That's absolutely not something I believe to any extent. I'm just one of the ones that did, and that's something I'm going to have to work out over the course of the next rest of my life.

I don't know. I'm rambling. Maybe it can be your turn to talk now.

[hollandsfavbabe]

Where Do We Go Now

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which the death of y/n's father leaves her determined to bring him back and her boyfriend peter determined to save her

warnings: endgame aftermath, death, parental loss, isolation, suicide attempt (but magical?), it gets better - I promise

word count: 7.1k

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual notes, but I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long and why this story is a lot sadder than my usual ones. My community has been riddled with tragedy recently as we've lost a lot of people to suicide this past year, some of which have been as young as middle school age. One of my friends died by suicide a couple months ago. I can't express to you guys how hard it's been trying to deal with the pain and the guilt his death has caused me and my loved ones. So many days have passed where I wish I could've been a better friend for him while he was here. It hurts more knowing that other people are hurting too. Writing this was the best way for me to cope for many reasons. I wanted to write about how I'm feeling and honor my friend in some way even if it's through a silly little fanfiction. I know I'm late, but I also wanted to honor one of my favorite characters, Tony Stark as he canonically died this past October. That being said, if you are struggling please, I implore you, talk to someone. There are so many people on this planet who would be so torn without you. My dms are always a safe space if you need anything at all <3

Also I'd like to thank Gracie Abrams for her music that I had on repeat the entire time I was writing this. I hope you like it!

“I am Iron Man.”

The words replayed in your head, over and over like a broken record with no one to turn it to a new tune. That’s exactly how you felt. So alone in your grief that even if miraculously every wish you'd ever made in the whole of your existence had been granted, it still wouldn’t be enough to make you happy again. To make you feel anything besides the constant regret and incessant grief that anchored you down as you wasted away in your bed.

It had been exactly a week since the passing of the great Tony Stark. Everyone else in the compound had mourned their coworker, riddled by a somewhat lesser version of your sadness for only a few days after his death. It’s not as if their grief had been washed away as if it never stained their cheeks with tears or weighed down their hearts with sorrow, but it eased much quicker than yours and before long they could continue their duties. Everything was so much harder for you because Tony hadn’t just been a coworker. He was your father.

You relieved every memory you had of him like bittersweet torture. You remembered when he held you as a little girl, wiping up a bloodied knee. When he discovered you had powers and helped you control them. Later on when he banned you from joining in on the Avenger’s Civil War and afterwards when he thanked you for sneaking in to help anyway. You could almost feel his comforting embrace as if it was only yesterday that he was assuring you before a failed battle against the mad Titan Thanos, the same one that left you dusted and missing your father’s last five years on Earth. And finally, of course, you remember his last moments all too well. It played out before you like the tragic ending of a stage play. 

“Let me do it,” you shouted over the sound of war cries and carnage that surrounded you on the packed battlefield. “I can take it!”

You were almost certain that your power, your immeasurable magic, could handle the debilitating strength of the Infinity Stones making you the most reasonable choice for snapping Thanos and his army out of existence, but your father refused to risk losing his eldest.

“No,” he breathed, the metal plate shielding his chest rising and falling from the heat of the action. There was only one way to succeed, only one way to put a stop to the destruction of the universe. It had to be him. “I won’t risk losing you, not while you’re still so young. You have so much life ahead of you.”

“Not without you!” you cried, a tear streaming from your eye.

There wasn’t much time for your conversation as the world was moments away from being wiped of its human history, but despite the odds your father pulled you into a tight hug, as if he knew it would be the last. You both did.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known and I’m so proud of what you’ve become already.” he smiled when you finally pulled apart.

“I need you dad,” you sobbed, still reluctant to let him leave you. With the threat of his death, suddenly Thanos’ defeat didn’t matter anymore. Not nearly as much as having your father by your side. “I’m not ready.”

Your dad looked down on you with the saddest of smiles, but if any part of him was upset about his decision, he made no other hint toward it. He just held you close for as long as possible and comforted you in the way that you could always count on him for. In the way, it hit you, that you could never count on him for again. But yet, in the face of death, he cradled you close and spoke in his signature fatherly tone: assertive yet on the edge of softness.

“No one’s ever ready -,” he answered truthfully. “- but I know you can handle it. You always do.”

You looked up at him as he finally pulled away and headed towards the purple giant, but not before turning to you for one final declaration.

“I love you, junior, to the edge and back again.”

And then he was gone. You never got the chance to say it back.

Yours was the last name he uttered before his heart stopped beating and the light on his suit went out. By then Pepper had already said her goodbyes and you both were huddled close to his body, weeping as the other Avengers knelt around you in honor of your father. Peter was hunched behind you, one hand on your shoulder while the other worked to wipe away his own tears. Oh Peter, you had your father to thank for him.

It was Tony who was credited with setting you up with your long term boyfriend, Peter Parker, even if it was a complete accident. You two had gotten acquainted on a fateful plane ride to Germany and eventually ended up together after many failed attempts at confessing your feelings. There was something about him that had you smitten with him from your first encounter, your liking only strengthened when you learned that your father approved. He’d been with you through thick and thin and even now, Peter was the only person who could even remotely share your pain besides Pepper. Tony was like his father too.

He’d taken care of you ever since the incident. Brought you food and water, helped you dress in your black attire for the funeral, laid with you in your bed each night to calm you whenever you awoke in a nightmarish terror. He showed his love for you prevailing over his grief in the most selfless of ways and yet all you had managed to do since you father’s funeral was stand to use the restroom every once in a while. It piled on more weight that your poor soul could already take. You were nothing, but a miserable burden now.

The door to your room opened with squealing hinges as Peter stepped in, returning from school where he had spent the morning reuniting with your shared friends and finding out when the official return date was. You were supposed to join him, but instead you hadn’t moved an inch since he left. It wasn’t as if you wanted to waste the entire day in your lonely sheets again. You yearned for everything to go back to how it was; when Peter was happy and you could share it with him. When your father used to smile upon the two teens he didn’t mean to bring together. When your father was alive.

“Hey,” he said, softly as if not to startle you from your endless torturous pondering. He set something down on your dresser, a small stack of papers he must have gathered from the school, and removed his fall coat before sauntering over to you. The bed creaked and shifted under his weight as he took a seat next to you. “Good news, we don’t have to go back until the next semester so we get a break until January. Ned was asking about you. He wants to know how you’re doing.”

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes red-rimmed from all of your crying and your lips cracked and dry.

“What did you tell him?” you croaked, your voice hoarse from under use. There was little to talk about and no one else to talk to whenever Peter wasn’t around. Pepper had visited you once, but with Morgan to look after, she couldn’t spare much time for her late husband’s grieving daughter. You’d seen Happy a couple times as well, but he needed his own time to recover and reflect on his past time with his best friend.

Peter was gentle as he tucked some of the hair strands snot cemented to your jaw behind your ear and cupped your cheek in his palm. He was cold from the autumn chill outside, but his hand ignited the same soothing heat that his touch always brought forth.

“I said you were recovering,” he answered truthfully. “And that it’s different for everyone. And no matter how long it takes, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

The ghost of a smile graced your lips and had it not felt like it stopped beating after losing your father, your heart may have fluttered in its cavity in your chest.

“Thanks Peter,” you curled closer to him in the most sincere of ways. “But I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before I can get up to see Ned again. Give him my best.”

“Take your time. I’m sure he understands.” Peter assured before pulling off his flannel and laying down beside you to wrap you in his arms, allowing you to tuck your face in his chest. As unhappy as you were, all the swirling emotions of suffering were always suppressed by the sound of Peter’s heart and the feel of his body around yours. You stayed like that for a while, holding each other before Peter broke the silence as it neared time for your midday meal.

“I think you should come with me today,” Peter suggested, rising to run his daily lunch retrieval before running a loving hand through your hair. You couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. You hadn’t been able to wash in over a week. “It’s not good for you to stay here all day long. You need to start moving.”

His voice was full of worry, though he wasn’t overbearing. He wanted the best for you, it’s all he ever wanted really.

“I don’t know Peter, I don’t think I can.” you sighed as tears started to fill your eyes again. How could anyone stand to be around you when you were being so pathetic. You wished there was a way to erase your pain, anything to bring you to your normal self again.

“It's okay baby,” Peter hugged you into a tight embrace, kissing your tears as they fell in slow salty streams. “I know it hurts, I feel it too. But I read somewhere that the best thing to do is keep a consistent routine. Maybe you should start today. Come get lunch with me.”

You wanted to agree, but there was no part of you that could move from the weight of your grief. It pressed you down, gravity multiplied by the mass of your sadness as it consumed you. It felt as if only a miracle could save you now.

“I’m so sorry.” you stated with remorse, but Peter made no move to share his disappointment if he had any at all. Instead he leaned down from his seated position and placed his lips on your forehead, a gesture as if to say that all was alright.

“Please don’t cry, y/n. It’s okay.” he assured you before standing to leave and get you something that you figured you probably wouldn’t even eat very much of.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning the handle of your door to leave before looking back at you sprawled on your bed. Suddenly, as if he had recalled the cure to the rainiest of days, he expression shifted to one of great excitement as he stopped back into your room.

“I almost forgot,” he began. “Doctor Strange was here earlier. He wanted me to tell you he’s offering some meditation sessions for you if you’re interested. He said they’d be good for your powers and that they might help you feel better if you want to think about it. He’s free at 8 tomorrow.”

You nearly perked up at the sound of the man’s name, picking up your head to cast a last longing glance at Peter as he waited for a parting word.

“Thanks,” you managed. “I’ll let you know.”

And off Peter went to get you both something to eat.

You weren’t sure if he knew how dangerous it was for you to be left with your thoughts, how the mention of the magic doctor sprouted a myriad of mystical ideas all aimed at the same goal that would erase your eternal lonesome aching. How to bring your father back. By the time Peter returned with his hands full of two homemade sandwiches and more sweets than the two of you could ever finish in one sitting, your mind had been made up and you were ready to set the plan in motion.

The following evening was your first time out of the confines of your rooms for days. Peter had helped you greatly with all the tasks you did not have the mental power to do all on your own. He had brushed your hair and made your bed and before you left in one of the less expensive cars held on Avenger’s campus, he sent you off adorned with one of his favorite sweatshirts, a peck on the forehead and enough I love you’s to last more than a lifetime.

You pulled the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt over your palm as you drove off, using the cloth to wipe away fresh tears that had fallen after you left your boyfriend’s loving gaze. You’d always been an overthinker, but your bad habits crept up on you worse in your unbreakable stage of sadness. Especially in your father’s favorite car.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t left you already. Maybe he would. Peter had offered to join you at Strange’s, but after you insisted you had to go alone, he made plans to go help his Aunt May figure out their apartment situation as the pair had been inadvertently kicked out after being gone for so many years. You’d almost forgotten he used to split his nights between the compound and his own bedroom. Recently he’d only stay with you.

He promised to be back before dinner so that the two of you could keep up your progress, but an unsolicited voice within you convinced you that he wouldn’t want to return. You weren’t good enough for him anymore, not like you used to be. Your plan was better for the both of you and as you pulled up to the familiar building on Bleecker Street, all the pieces started to fall into place.

You stepped up to the door, raising your fist to knock only for the door to crack open by itself as if to invite you in. You waited for the familiar sternness of Doctor Strange’s voice to greet you once you were past the stone floored foyer, but only wisps of the autumn breeze caught your ear. 

“Strange?” you called, your voice still not stable enough to be louder than a whispery dialogue. You were met with no response. It was just like you had planned. The wizard wasn’t home.

You felt a strong tug towards the room of your desires, the forbidden library. It was as if fate was leading you or some other force from above, another sign that you were meant to do it.

Your steps were more sure than they had been in days as you made your way to the self, passing any magical fire walls with the sheer unfiltered strength of your powers. Strange once told you that they were guided by your emotion, the quintessential essence of every magic holder even to people like you and Wanda Maximoff who were outside of his world protecting wizard cult. It was easier than it should have been, like slicing paper with a katana, you broke each enchantment until all that was left was the cool leather cover of the book you were looking for. The book with every answer you needed inside its ancient yellowing pages, but you only needed the spell that would revive your father. Locating it near the middle of the book, your tore out the page and turned back to your car, leaving the Sanctum with the same unhurried pace you had entered it with. There was no stopping you now.

Peter was only an half an hour late for your agreed meet up time when he arrived at the campus. He expected you’d be in your room as per usual and as he made his way to your door, the excitement of getting to hold you and talk about your first day out of the campus since the funeral built up in his chest. He wasn’t sure if any accomplishment in the world could make him as proud as he was of you. With two brown paper bags of groceries in his hand, he couldn’t wait to shower you in the affection that you deserved with all of your favorite snacks, enough to share of course.

“Y/n,” he smiled, using his webbing to open your door handle only to find, much to his disappointment, that you were nowhere to be found.

He checked all over campus, leaving the bags by your bed. No one had seen you since you’d left and the spot where the car you’d taken was still empty, the normally pristine concrete covered in fallen crisp maroon leaves. It didn’t make any sense. Where could you possibly have gone?

“Y/n!” he called, circling the perimeter of the campus looking for you. There was still no sign of your reappearance. “Y/n- oh. Hi Ms. Maximoff.” Peter forced a strained smile as he nearly bumped into the woman.

“Peter, we’ve been over this,” Wanda answered, her voice calm. “You can call me Wanda.”

Like you, the witch hadn’t been doing the best in recent days as she had lost something just as valuable as a father: her partner. While she occasionally had days where the ground would’ve been lucky to feel the grace of her step, her superhero duties had kept her from spending each day hidden from society. She had a different way of coping, but like others, she seemed to start getting back into routine again.

“Right, sorry Wanda.” Peter apologized.

“What are you doing out here?” inquired the witch in her native Sokovian accent, always intuitive. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s y/n. I can’t find her anywhere and we agreed to meet back here nearly - an hour ago!” Peter pulled up his coat sleeve to check the time on his watch, the face of which bore a picture of him and your father from only a few months before the snap. It had been a birthday gift, one of his favorites in fact, though it couldn't top what you had given him the same year: a lego set and your first kiss.

“I didn’t know that she got out of bed. That’s a big step!” 

“Yes it is and we were going to celebrate tonight, but she hasn’t come back yet which is really not like her.” worried Peter.

“Where did she go?”

“Strange’s. He was going to give her a meditation lesson for her powers.”

Confused, Wanda's eyebrow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Doesn’t she know how to use them already?”

“Yes, but he thought it would help her manage her grief. Working out is a pretty common method, but she hates going to the gym so he figured some meditation would be better for her and -“

“Wait, hold on. Did she go to him this morning?”

“Yes and she was supposed to be back around noon, but it’s nearly six and she’s still gone.” Peter explained.

“Peter!” Wanda chided. She couldn't believe he could make such a grave mistake.

“What?”

“Strange hasn’t been at the Sanctum all day!”

“What?! Where is he?”

“Do I look like a wizard to you?" the witch gestured to her casual leggings and cardigan pairing that drastically differed from Strange's usual eccentric costumes. "How should I know?”

As if summoned by the topic of conversation, a figure appeared in the distant grass, hovering over the blades until he was close enough to be able to walk. His cape that flowed in the breeze like a blood red stream with a mind of its own was a dead give away. Doctor Strange had indeed arrived in the flesh.

“Parker,” he greeted, though he did not smile. “Is Ms. Stark ready for our lesson?”

Peter’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake.

“Oh no.” he muttered, shaking his head in defeat. He was met with confusion from the wizard.

“No?” Strange repeated. “We agreed upon 8 didn't we? I know I'm a little early, but I assumed she wouldn't be busy. Didn’t you let her know I was coming?”

“Yes,” Peter confirmed. “I told her to be ready and then I sent her off to your place at 8… am.”

“What?!” Strange exclaimed as he summoned a portal to appear leading directly to his found home on Bleecker Street. He stepped through the fiery ring, a silent invitation for the others to follow as he hurried passed your car, up the steps, and into the door which did not part of him the same way it had earlier. Inside he was met with the most frightful of discovers accompanied by the looming feeling of doom as the situation became clear.

The Sanctum, unguarded with his absence, lay littered with books that had fallen from their homes on his shelf’s yet one stood out from all the others. It laid on the floor open with its pages to the ground while every other book was shut. Levitating it with the simple flick of his wrist, a horrifying sight awaited Strange as he turned it over. One of the pages in the sacred book was missing.

“Do you know how serious this is?!” Strange exclaimed and although Peter at first took it as a barbed criticism aimed directly at him, he was able to distinguish Strange’s tone from when he was reprimanding. This was a separate kind of worry, the sort of tone that he had used heavily on the fated spaceship you three had been stuck in until you landed on Titan, Thanos’ home world, nearly five years ago. Treachery was afoot and if your powers were involved, the whole fabric of your current reality could change.

“Which one did she take?” Wanda pointed to the book, clearly noticing the giant tear in its center.

Strange’s voice answered, heavy with concern. “The revival spell.”

“You don’t think she knows, do you? She can’t possibly know how to conjure it.” asked Wanda, the same concern for their future written all over her face.

“That’s exactly what I think.” Strange confirmed.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you guys talking about?”

“There are many types of magic, Parker, and the Sanctum, the building where you sent your girlfriend, is full of all of them, good and bad alike. Every spell comes with a price, the bigger the spell, the bigger the price and the spell she took comes with one of the biggest prices there is to pay.”

“Think about it, Peter,” Wanda paled. “What does y/n want most in the world right now?”

It hit Peter harder than fresh fallen hail. You were going to try to bring your father back.

“We have to find her. Now.”

Strange tried to use his sling ring to appear wherever you were, but in your grief, the extent of your powers had grown massively. Intentionally or not, you managed to prevent even the most powerful of wizards from using his Sling Ring to access your location.

“She's blocked me out.” Strange frowned. “We’re going to have to track her on foot.”

“She can’t be far,” Peter agreed. “She always takes the shortest path whenever she wants something.” It was one of the many things he loved about you: your ability to turn any taxing task into something much simpler. You were one of the cleverest people he knew. He just hoped it didn’t work in your favor this time.

It was Wanda who had the idea of tracking your magic. She led them to the nearest withering woodland area, where trees with bare branches and dying leaves sprawled endlessly. It was the perfect place to perform dark magic, away from the unyielding eyes of society. The trio didn’t hesitate to run in.

The further they got, the closer you felt especially to Peter despite the fact that he was the only one without his own source of magic. If he lost you tonight, he feared he’d never feel any sort of magic ever again.

They were only half an acre in when Wanda and Strange called out in anguish, the witch falling to her knees while Strange stayed standing, pounding the air with his fist as his trying to break through an invisible barrier though it was to no avail. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn’t fading anytime soon.

“Keep going, Parker!” he shouted, urging Peter forward. “You’re the only one who can stop her. The spell will only allow that which she loves.”

“How do I do it?” Peter shouted. “How do I stop the spell?”

“The page,” Wanda replied, quicker than Strange could as his reply was easy for her to access. “You have to tear it apart.”

Without wasting a second more, Peter sprung back towards where he could feel you, running without fatigue as his superhuman endurance supplied him with plenty of energy.

It was only a minute later that he caught his first sign of you. There was a break in the tree line out of which a bright amber glow poured like an incandescent warning. It was a dramatic contrast from the normal comforting emerald greens of your magic, but it was you nonetheless and Peter didn’t stop until he was so close he had to shade his eyes from the light.

If it weren’t for the dark nature of what you were doing, Peter would’ve considered it one of the most beautiful events he’d ever seen take place. He wasn’t sure if the circle of trees that surrounded you had been a natural formation or one you made for the sake of the spell, but he was sure the way they seemed to bend to your will, despite the hard wood of their birch trunks, had to be because of your power. In the center of it all was you and the page you had stolen atop a pile of purple and golden leaves. You stood before it, eyes closed as you whispered some sort of incantation. Your powers spread above you in orange flickering flames as you outstretched your arms and summoned what looked like the beginnings of a portal, though it was hard to peer through like a bride covered in a veil of night black.

Peter shouted your name, screaming for you to stop, but you didn’t so much as flinch as the portal grew. You couldn’t hear him over the force of your will. He could start to feel what Wanda and Strange were trapped behind. There was some sort of invisible wall that threatened to push him back from you, but he couldn’t be defeated. He had to stop you. Step by step, he got closer and closer to you, watching in horror as your body was lifted from the ground and floated in midair. A new energy started weeping through the fabric that covered your chest, soft and white like a sheer glittering fabric. It drifted towards the portal and as Peter neared you he could make out the outline of a face forming from it in the black center of it. It started to take shape, growing a neck and a body and becoming more concrete than a fragmented part of your energy. He became more unmistakable as the color grew back into his face. Tony Stark, in the flesh. Peter hurried towards the page.

You opened your eyes to gaze into the face of your father, tears flowing down your face partially from the exhaustion of bringing him back and from being able to see him again.

You tried to say something, tell him how much you had missed him, but you were left rendered without a voice. Your words came out as mouthed nonsense, though it seemed he had regained his voice.

“Y/n,” he uttered, though it seemed more like a warning than a greeting after being torn from you for so long.

You mouthed something you knew he’d understand. I love you too, dad.

Some other force called your name, but you ignored it. You couldn’t focus on anything else, but the father you had lost regaining life right in front of you. With every part that he gained, you felt a part of your fade. It wasn’t painful, more numbing than anything like the final dose to end all your sadness. You couldn’t help but relish in it. You were bringing back one of the greatest men to ever live.

You were so distracted, you missed the web that landed on the page below you and pulled it away.

“Y/n,” your dad said again, nearly having enough of one of his legs to step out of the portal when suddenly, the inky blackness swallowed him whole again and dissolved in the forest light, taking back the only thing you ever wanted.

“NO!” you cried as your voice returned to you and you fell back down to the dry grass and dead leaves, crumpled on the forest floor as all of the magic you had summoned faded away save for the glittering cloud that returned to your chest with such force it made you cough. You had failed.

“Y/n!” someone called and you shuddered away from their hand on your shoulder as loud sobs erupted from you. 

“Leave me!” you begged. “Just leave!” Peter refused to leave your side, tossing behind him the page he had shredded into tiny scraps of paper as he knelt beside you, careful not to touch you again. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you take him from me?”

“You were going to die! I couldn’t let you di-“

“I WANTED TO DIE!”

Peter froze as you whimpered, the truth spreading above the both of you in the cold air like storm clouds as you cried to him.

“I want him back. Everyone wants him back. No one cares about his depressed daughter and I don’t want to hurt anymore, Peter.” you paused to take a deep breath. “It- it hurts so much.” you could barely get the words out as you were choked by your sobs. “It hurts knowing I could’ve saved him. It hurts knowing it should’ve been me that snapped those stupid stones. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. I had to try to bring him back for the world. It needs him more than it needs me.”

You brought a hand to your face, wiping away some of your tears, though it was no use as more came pouring out.

“I need you.” uttered Peter, looking into your glossy eyes. The sight of your tears and the echo of your screams couldn’t deter him from you. You can’t be repelled from the ones that you love.

“But you miss him, don’t you,” you argued as hot tears coated your face. “You want him back too.”

Peter nodded in agreement.

“I think about him everyday. Our moments together. Like this one time he saved me from drowning in a lake. Or-“ Peter grinned. “- remember when he caught us making out that one time before we told him we were together. He was so mad.” Peter smiled to himself, looking fondly on the memory until he began again.

“I miss him so much and it makes me so sad that I'll never see him again. But I wouldn’t trade you for him. I wouldn't trade you for anyone. You’re worth more to me than anyone else in the universe.”

Your sobs slowed yet the tears did not cease as they still cascaded down your face.

“It hurts me so much.” you restated.

Peter opened his arms. “May I?” he asked. You nodded and before you knew it, you were engulfed by a warmth unlike any other as Peter hugged you tight enough to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave him again.

“I know you do,” he related. "And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could just bag all your pain and throw it all away. But it doesn't work like that. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, so much so that you won't move from bed for days and days. You haven't." 

"But I feel like everyone else has already moved on. Why can't I?" you shivered.

"No one else was as close to him as you. Everyone else lost a friend. You lost a father. There's a big difference. You can't expect yourself to move on from it. That's not healthy. It's just like I said, I'm here for you no matter how long it takes. You have to take your time with it, don’t rush the process." Peter pressed the lightest of kisses to one of your dampened cheeks.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Breathe."

As silly as it sounded in its simplicity you did as he instructed and inhaled deeply, allowing the air to coat your lungs that hadn’t been exposed to so much fresh air in a week. As you exhaled, you let out another sob in his arms, but somehow it felt better than all the others. You were not rid of your pain by any means and sadness still corroded your core, but for the first time in so long, you didn’t feel so hopeless. Peter placed another gentle kiss on your cheek, encouraging you as you took several more slow breaths and quiet cries until you found the strength to speak again.

“Was it like this for you when your parents died?” you wondered aloud as you pulled away from Peter to look into his chocolate brown eyes that you almost forgot you loved so much, yet not so far that he couldn't keep his arms around your frame that was still bearing his sweatshirt. You hadn’t spoken much about them before and while you weren’t sure where the question had arisen from, it felt like the right thing to ask.

“I was so young when they passed, sometimes I feel like they were never mine to begin with,” he admitted. “I took a couple days off school when it happened, but I don’t remember crying all that much. It’s tragic and sometimes it makes me sad that they’re gone, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a reminder that they were there for me in the first place, that I knew them enough to miss them. The grief is proof that I loved them while they were here.”

You were both silent for a moment as you thought about his words in relation to your situation. All your pain was put into perspective. Everything you had been through since he died, all the days you wasted away in bed, it was all the proof that you had loved him so much when he was alive and that you were still carrying the love you had left for him. You missed your father so much you were willing to die to get him back and for a moment, you almost did.

You parted from Peter’s arms to stand though you still grasped onto his hands as you weren’t strong enough to be upright on your own. You closed your eyes again and listened to the sound of the forest, the swaying of the leaves that still clung to their branches, the faint twittering of birds, and the calm of the sky that was oddly cloudless for autumn. The sound of your name falling from your father’s reformed lips was still faint in the air and for a moment you felt as though you were with him again.

You remembered when he taught you how to ride a bike one evening when you were only four. You remembered the day he pulled you from public school and started teaching you at home. You remembered the look of shock on his face when you showed him your powers for the first time and even more, you remember his pride when you completed your first mission with the Avengers (that he'd approved ahead of time to avoid any more Germany -like surprises). He wasn’t there, but at the same time he was everywhere. And you missed him, but at the same time the absence he left in your life felt less empty.

The tears came out in slow smooth streams, flowing down in slow trickles as you finally sat back down. You didn’t say anything and neither did Peter, but you knew he could feel what you felt. He could feel your father too and minutes slipped by as you sat and cried together.

There was a sudden rustling in the distance and soon enough, Doctor Strange and Wanda had arrived at the scene, no longer held back by invisible barriers. They rushed to you bringing flooding guilt through your system as you began to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Strange opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. You could tell by his expression that he was disappointed, but there was more to it. He had empathy.

It was Wanda that leaned down to place a friendly hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home.”

The months following were some of the hardest of your life. Every battle you faced was uphill, but you no longer felt like you were fighting alone. You started going out again, first to visit Pepper and your half sister Morgan who lived in their cabin home. Peter joined you of course, but he played with Morgan for the most part while you and Pepper talked. You cried with her, but you laughed a lot too. She shared with you so many of her own memories, times when your father didn't know what to get you for your birthday, when he had managed to mess up cooking dinner in the strangest of ways, and when he’d accidentally burned your favorite stuffed animal in the drying machine all of which Pepper had to remedy. Though she hadn’t raised you, she was the mother you never had and through her stories you learned that your father had been just as good raising Morgan with her as he had been with you.

You hung out with Ned and MJ again shortly after that. While Peter had suggested a brief check-in at a cafe so you could go home quickly to rest, you surprised him with a much more time consuming idea: laser tag. The four of you had the best time targeting each other, you winning more rounds than any of the others. You ended the day with smoothies, talking as you drank and making plans for the next time you would all see each other. MJ made you promise you would text her if you ever needed anything and Ned gave you a whole plate of his Lola’s ensaymadas, your favorite dish of hers.

Finally, though he was locked up in his house and avoiding humanity, you visited Happy. Peter offered to join you like all the other times, but you assured him it would be best if he stayed home, promising you would return later. Happy was in a similar state of dismay to you when you saw him and while he was able to care for himself and continue with his personal routine, you could tell he was hurting.

You didn't say much when you first entered his apartment, but there was comfort within the silence. You sat with him on his sofa and watched whatever mind numbing program he had turned on to distract his thoughts until you had both worked up an appetite for lunch. It was there, in the middle of a random Burger King in Queens over a plate of cheeseburgers that you both broke down. You told him what you had nearly done, trusting him with the sensitive information as he was almost a second father to you. You took your time telling him the story of how you had nearly died to bring back your father.

Happy cried as you did and when you were finished, he told you how much you meant to him. He traded your story for one from your father after he returned from Afghanistan where he had famously been kidnapped.

"You could tell he was shaken," Happy began. "He told me he wasn't scared to die, but he was scared of losing time with you and leaving you alone. Pepper and I had been so busy trying to get him back, he was worried you had been neglected while he was gone. But when he came home and he saw your room clean, your toys put away, and a fridge full of leftovers from meals you prepared yourself, he was so proud. You inspired him to turn his life around. It was after that he told me that he knew you'd be okay if he was taken from us one day."

You both cried after that.

Long after you had finished your food, Happy drove you to the Parker's new apartment with the promise that he would be okay too, eventually. He also admitted that he was starting to develop quite the liking for your faithful boyfriend after hearing all that he had done for you, though he’d skin you alive if you ever told Peter.

It was that night in Peter's new bedroom that you knew you’d be okay. It still hurt to think of your father and you knew you’d never entirely recover and that the pain would never fully leave you, but there was a certain comfort in it now. You knew Peter felt it too as he snuggled half asleep into your side, his arm slung around your body in a protective manner, but also to keep from falling of the twin bed you shared as he let you sleep on the side with the wall. There were still days when you didn’t want to leave your bed, but there were also days when you felt more elated than ever. You could feel your father in those moments the most, like the shine of his smile took form in the light from the sun. You couldn’t see him nor could you speak with him, but you knew he wasn’t really gone. It was love that kept him around. And it was the love you carried for him that would suspend you for lifetimes, through light and dark until the end of time.

“I hope this grief stays with me because its all the unexpressed love” - Andrew Garfield 💙

[frozenmoonshine]

How would TR boys react to you opening up to them about your abusive family

Characters: Mikey, Draken, Baji, Chifuyu, Kazutora, Mitsuya, Sanzu

TWs:

Mentions of traumatic experiences and abuse (nothing too explicit, but if the topic is upsetting for you, please skip this one!)

Insinuated hetero relationship in Baji's case. In other ones, no reader gender is mentioned.

MIKEY

He doesn't understand and can't quite relate, but he's supportive. He hears you out, listening actively, he's soft and loving, and offers moral and emotional support to the best of his ability. He keeps that confident, protective front, assuring you that he's not gonna let anything bad happen to you ever again, and that no one will ever hurt you in any way, as long as he's alive, but deep down he's now petrified with fear of him hurting you himself accidentally, or when he goes into the 'dark impulse' mode. He might get a bit distant for a while afterwards, or treat you like fine porcelain, until Kenchin and Takemicchi set his mind straight.

DRAKEN

It's really hard for him to relate, as he never had any family to begin with, but having heard your story makes him think that he was actually way better off that way, and should have never felt jealous of the kids who had parents! He'll try his best to understand what it must have been like for you, and he'll of course be considerate and empathetic.

"Sorry if my reactions are not appropriate or I don't know what to say, I just can't even imagine what that must be like! I don't want you to carry that burden alone, so please tell me what I can do for you!"

BAJI

Ohhh, he's having a rage fest on your behalf! Your own mother said that to you?! Did that to you?! Naaahh, he's not having any of that! Ryōko has always been strict and stern with him growing up, but no matter how bad he screwed up, she would never ever hit him, or call him names, or threaten to disown him, or anything of that kind. He'd be sooo pissed at your parents for treating you like that, you'd have to physically stop him from calling them from your phone and giving them a piece of his mind! When he's calmed down a bit he takes out his own phone and rings his mom.

"Hey mom, listen! You always wanted a daughter as well, right? How about I bring you one right away?"

"Uhm... Kei, are you aware of the implications of your words just now...?!"

"What. *shrugs* I would've proposed to you anyway."

CHIFUYU

He would just stare in shock, wide-eyed and completely perplexed. Is punching someone's parents ok, even if you've never met them before?! He's devastated and heartbroken by the thought of you going through such horrible experiences, and he's enraged that your own family did that to you. He's also afraid because he doesn't know how to react and how to comfort you in the best way, so in order not to risk hurting your feelings accidentally or triggering you, he just stays silent and pulls you into a loving, comforting embrace. He doesn't know how at this moment, but he will figure it out and make sure that no one ever gives you shit in any way ever again!

KAZUTORA (why is there no yellow highlight option?!)

Fully understands and empathizes 100%! Emotional, verbal, physical, financial... you name the type, he's seen and experienced them all! He'd be like your own personal therapist and support system, all in one! He'd listen carefully to you telling him what you went through and how you feel, and never push you to talk about stuff you are not ready to tell him yet. But he'd always make sure you know he'll always be there to offer comfort and support whenever you need it!

"You never deserved any of that, it was never your fault! You are worthy, you are good enough, there is nothing, and I mean, NOTHING wrong with you, you hear me?! You deserve every bit of love this world has to offer you, and I'll do my part as best as I can!"

*gives the warmest, softest, most protective hugs*

MITSUYA

He'd be a bit of a devil's advocate, telling you that you shouldn't harbor hate for your family, that you should try to look at things from a neutral perspective, to realize that they most likely didn't know any better, and that they had unresolved mental issues of their own, and that's why things happened. But his slightly unorthodox reaction actually helps you heal. He'd also be supportive of your decision to cut the contact with your blood family, as he'd more than gladly welcome you into his! Mana & Luna already count you as family anyway!

HARUCHIYO

Another one who would totally understand, and maybe even get lowkey triggered for your sake! If you still haven't gone no contact with your abuser(s), he'll push you to do it.

"Found family is way more important that the blood relations anyway, you cannot choose those. But you have me as family now! And Taichou, he's your family too! (in the good timeline, he instead says Senju is your family, too) And even Mikey and the rest of the gang, they all see you as family. You don't need those scraps back at your childhood home, stop letting them control you, they don't deserve a place in your life!"

[fantasygerard2000]

Reworking Wish

I know this was already said, but the main gripe people have towards Wish is that the potential was there, it just didn't put on the right amount of effort. A criticism that took me long to agree with after sifting through Starboy simping, Magnifico sandals smooching and parasocial hatred towards the house of mouse.

So, after rewatching Wish for like the tenth time or something, I dunno I lost count, I decided to write down some things in the film that needed improvement. This is going to be taking the film as it is and giving it that little push it needed, more time in the oven to bake.

Also, a side tangent I wanna bring up before we move on. I don't like to use the word "fix" especially since it's associated with some people taking a work and reworking it to suit THEIR tastes and preferences, often without permission and out of spite.

Okay, let's proceed.

The film starts with the shot of the book opening and a narrator explaining the story. A classic Disney staple. The narrator "reads" us the creation of Rosas by Magnifico. However, the opening narration emphasizes too much on Magnifico. I get the intent that this is a form of propaganda he made to get parents to tell stories to their kids about him, but this comes with a caveat regarding his backstory that I will explain later.

So, either you have a different person narrating the opening scene like how in the classic Disney movies do instead of Asha. Or have Asha narrating to Sabino told through hand drawn illustrations she drew about how he and his family came to the kingdom of Rosas, visually through hand drawn animation.

Have the rest of the scene play out but major difference here. Instead of Asha applying to become Magnifico's apprentice, she was recommended the job by Amaya. An issue of show-don't-tell is present as Amaya explains how kind and generous Asha is, but is never shown. Have Asha welcome the tourists but the child is too scared to leave the boat, so Asha sing to them about how wonderful the kingdom is to make the child feel better while also helping the townsfolk on the way in her unique way, reminiscent of Mulan during Honor to Us All. Have Amaya watch Asha guide the tourists on a balcony through a window like the Evil Queen if you like to add a nod to Snow White as well subverting the trope to show that she's a good queen.

A detail I like in the film is that instead of having a servant inform Asha that she's ready for the interview, Amaya herself came to the kitchen to inform her herself.

As for the apprenticeship thing, I like to spice things up by having Tomas, Asha's father once worked for Magnifico who he considers a close friend before retiring once Sakina was pregnant with Asha. Amaya, being more close to her people than Magnifico, knew that Asha is Tomas' daughter and seeing how she's takes after him, recommended her husband to have Asha work as an apprentice.

So, Asha, nervous about becoming an apprentice to her father's former boss/friend/like-a-brother cuz why not make an evil uncle figure. The scene plays the same but little emphasis on Tomas. As well as a "he betrayed me" rant from Magnifico later on.

The At All Costs sequence remains the same and the argument afterwards also kept intact. Additional dialogue has Asha mentioning how her father would have told Magnifico the same but he quickly dismisses her.

The argument scene be tweaked with Sabino still hopeful about his wish being granted next year, making the news that Magnifico will never grant his more hurtful for Asha.

The filmmakers' intent for the animals is that they know much about the universe than humans but considering they can't talk, humans just think they're dumb. I'm a Star plays out the same but additional dialogue is given before the song plays, with the animals explaining to Asha that Star can't speak to answer her questions but they can in song form.

The scenes afterwards remains up to This is the Thanks I Get!? I like to add in minor details earlier like Magnifico checking his reflection during the interview as he "listens" to Asha, subtly showing his narcissism and his ties to mirrors.

Also in the interview scene, he mentions about his old home being destroyed by greedy thieves. This was the caveat I mentioned earlier and how his backstory despite being offhandedly mentioned a few times made him too sympathetic for the simps to defend his nonexistent lack of honor. Either we cut out the "tragic" his backstory and simply have him studying magic and the masses praise him so much that he has enough influence to make his own kingdom.

Once Asha returns Sabino's wish to him, have the unused scene above be kept. An issue with the film is that despite Sabino being the main drive for the plot, he barely appears in it enough for viewers to care. So the scene where he can finally be able to play his lute serves as this.

Magnifico arriving at the cottage to arrest Asha plays the same. Additional dialogue has Magnifico informing Asha and the viewer someone close to her who knows of Star ratted her out. After escaping Magnifico, have him burn the cottage if you like more villainy.

The scene after play out the same with some minor tweaks. The teens have a secret hideout, a cave with the entrance be under a tree, a nod the dwarfs and the lost boys. Asha doesn't know the hideout initially but Dahlia has left a clue for her in a form of a hardened cookie, a nod to Esmerelda leaving Quasimodo a clue to find where the Romani are hiding from Frollo. Amaya discovers the hideout by following Asha.

Instead of just books, Star uses the furniture the lift the teens up to the pulleys. Another scene has Amaya and Dahlia destroy the book in hopes of no one using it again. A major change is to have the book inform the reader that the more the person uses dark magic, the corrupt they become instead of committing once they commit to eternity, which I understand sounds like a lazy excuse to not redeem Magnifico.

Have most of the guards go after Asha who thought they were being led by Magnifico but was actually Simon. Have the animals attack the guards and Simon like in Tarzan and Beauty and the Beast.

When Magnifico blasts Amaya, she gets knocked out and drops her crown. To show his people he was the real traitor and make the crowd and remaining guards turn on him before he quickly overpowers them.

Have the climax be given additional dialogue and show Magnifico treating the wishes badly once he had Star.

Give a few moments to the scene where Asha remembers the "we are stars" message. Have her look at the her and her father's wishing tree and a moment of reflection before she starts singing.

After Magnifico's defeat, have the scene play out the same but with additional dialogue from Amaya towards Magnifico. Additional dialogue from Sakina reveal Asha her wish.

Once she takes after Magnifico's place as ruler, Amaya wears a more colorful dress, particularly a red colored tone down version of her original dress, showing she's a more competent ruler than Magnifico as well being tied to the rose, the symbol of Rosas.

After the brief timeskip, Asha wears a different dress than her previous one that gets sparkly once Star made her a fairy godmother, justifying the Cinderella reference without too being on the nose.

As for other stuff like the songs, they're fine. Just need a few lines change to sound less awkward.

The animation is fine too, though a lower frame rate like in the clip below would've suffice. And yeah, people will accused Disney for copying Spider-verse, but honestly I don't care since they'll accuse Disney of anything bad, even if they included the stuff they wanted.

And that's all what I can think of to "improve" Wish.

As much as I like this movie, I do understand why most people don't to the point of "fixing" it. However, fixing it isn't to add a love interest or a villain couple, it's to figure out what works and doesn't. Which is why as much as I have my own version of Star that is very loosely based after the Starboy concept, I didn't added them in it because it'd be unnecessary and distracting.

Wish's flaws are the intentions that were there and obvious, but the way they were executed was lacking. Hence why some of the "improvements" are what the filmmakers intended but given a tweak. Even stuff I added like Tomas being Magnifico's former best friend and apprentice are things the can be better if executed properly or not.

My general thoughts on the rewrite fandom is that some do have the right idea but just have the wrong priorities.

And as much as I wrote down changes to Wish that could may have and have not improved it, I don't want to be praised for it because they general attitude of "this is better than X" has left a sour mark on my thoughts towards the vocal minority in animation fandom or any fandoms.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 7

Warnings: None. (Will however be a 18+ reader book)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

You drove in the car along the highway, making your way towards your H/T. You weren't entirely sure why you were going back home, but that was the direction that you were finding yourself driving in.

Your life hadn't been entirely difficult. Your mother and father had always been busy so you rarely saw them. You were mostly raised by teachers, your sports coach, and several summer camp counselors. And of course, they were all doing those jobs for the money.

You and your sister were used to having a rather uncaring life. It wasn't that your parents were directly mean to you. In fact, the few times that you guys actually did something as a family, it was quite fun. But your parents had never really wanted kids, just going along with Government rules.

Things only escalated once you'd entered junior year of High School. Your mother had passed away, which left your dad in a right state of devastation. You hoped you never found out how it felt for your soulmate to die. It was apparently the most painful thing you could ever feel. The only thing that could numb it was if you got lucky enough to have another soulmate.

Still, that was when your dad was around most, but also when you didn't want him to be around. That was when he started the drinking and the hitting. You were lucky, you were almost out of the house. You applied for college in New York and you moved.

Your sister on the other hand had only started High school, which would leave her in your father's care for four more years. That was how you'd ended up being her guardian now.

And now you were going back home with no idea as to why. Maybe to lay some flowers on your mother's grave. Maybe to just get away from this crazy world. You lived in a rather small, isolated town, a place that none of the superheroes had probably ever stepped foot into. Tony could probably buy up the town if he wanted to.

[If you don't live in America, you can use 'West Chester' as your H/T (home town)]

Your phone started to ring. You glanced over at it. It was Y/S/N.

You sighed. What were the possible chances that they already knew you were gone and were waiting for you to pick up the phone?

Probably high.

You pushed the button anyways. "Y/S/N, isn't it past your bed time?"

"Funny. Come home." Y/S/N said.

"I will." You said. "Just. . . went for a drive."

"How much longer do you think you'll be out?" Y/S/N asked with a sigh. You couldn't hear anyone else on the other side of the phone. Maybe you were wrong about the others listening in. Or maybe they didn't know you were gone yet and only she did.

"I don't know. I kind've need a break."

"If it makes you feel better, you misunderstood the conversation between Steve, Bucky, and Natasha. They were talking about a training incident and how everything was disastrous afterwards. When they said just the three of them, they were talking about them being the only trainers since they wouldn't get hurt easily if there was another incident."

You were silent for a moment. You knew your sister would never lie to you, so you really wanted to believe her.

"Thanks. It just. . . sometimes my head. . . I just jump to the worst case scenario, you know? Especially since. . ."

"Especially since they're all extremely famous superheroes that the world either absolutely loves or completely hates and we're just a couple of nobodies from a small town?" Y/S/N finished for you.

"Exactly. God, I don't. . . I don't know how to be worthy of them." You said, feelings crashing down on you. "I mean, I love all of them so much but. . . how do I. . ."

"You just be you sister." Y/S/N said encouragingly. "You're holding back your personality when you're with them. Just be yourself. You don't have to change yourself. Just be the one."

"Why can't you be the bigger sister?" You asked with a laugh.

"Because now I can gloat the fact that I'm smarter than you even though I'm younger." She laughed on the other side of the phone. "But please come home soon, okay? I really don't like the idea of you being out there by yourself again."

"Yeah, stupid me. I don't know what I'm doing anymore." You laughed. "I'll be home soon. Maybe bring donuts or something back. I'm craving sugar."

"You're always craving sugar, that's nothing new." Y/S/N said and you could practically picture her rolling her eyes. "See you soon."

"See you soon." You said, taking the off ramp so that you could turn around and head back to Avengers tower.

You sighed, going through a Dunkin' Donuts, before heading back to the Avengers Tower. You sat in the parking lot with the rest of Tony's fancy cars, tapping your fingers on the donut box. Finally, with another sigh, you climbed out of the car and headed up to the main part of the tower.

"Y/N!" Clint shouted, throwing his arms around you before you'd even gotten into the tower.

You hugged him back with one arm to keep from dropping the donut box. "Hey Clint."

"Maybe some warning next time before you leave." Loki said, stalking over to kiss the side of your head.

"Sorry. I just needed a breather." You said.

"Understandable. But try not doing the experiment of whether or not a God can have a heart attack." Loki continued.

You blushed a little his words.

"Hey." Steve said, looking slightly awkward, "Can I talk to you in private?"

You blushed, "Er- yeah." Clint snatched the box of donuts, "DONUTS!" He shouted, running for the vents like a little kid. Sam went running after him while you followed Steve into another room where Bucky was already waiting.

Bucky scooped you up into his arms, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek. "Sorry doll."

"When we were talking in the hall-" Steve started but you shook your head.

"It's fine. I overreacted. It's not your fault or anything. Besides, my sister already filled me in about everything." You said. "I shouldn't have just left. It's. . . just a bit of a reflex. When things get tough I choose flight as my natural response. Sorry for worrying you guys."

Without putting you back down on the floor, Bucky passed you like a little kid to Steve who held you in his arms, his lips resting on the top of your head. "I love you Y/N." Steve said quietly.

"I love you too Stevie." You mumbled, before pressing your lips to his.

It was the first kiss you'd had with any of your soulmates and it was Earth-shattering. His lips were full, with force behind them as he kissed back with zero hesitation. His arms tightened on your body and you wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him back.

Bucky cleared his throat jokingly behind you two. You pulled away first, gasping for air quietly while Steve chuckled, passing you back to Bucky.

"You alright doll?" Bucky asked, sounding amused.

"A little dizzy. Can I kiss you?" You mumbled.

Bucky pressed his lips to yours sweetly, though not as long as Steve did, but just as passionate.

"Am I missing something?" Sam's voice asked behind us as Bucky put you back on your feet. You turned to see Sam was holding your favorite flavor donut. He raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling on his face. "Want this? Come get it."

You stalked over to him, moving to grab the donut before he raised his hand way above your head. He smirked.

You reached up, grabbing his face to bring him down and kissed him. His entire body relaxed before he lowered both hands, one coming to rest in your hair. Then your hand snatched the donut out of his hand before you spun away, dancing away from him, biting into the donut.

"Delicious." You teased.

"You're a terrible tease." Sam pouted as you finished off the donut. "Alright, now you're getting tickles."

You squealed as he darted towards you. "Bucky!"

Bucky laughed. "You're on your own. I don't want to get on Sam's bad side."

You ran out the door, "Loki!"

Loki looked up as you raced out of the room. "Save me!" You squealed with Sam hot on your heels.

Before you could even reach Loki though, you found yourself falling through an orange portal and then landing in a pair of arms.

Stephen pulled you to his chest on his lap. Every time Sam tried getting close, he kept getting pushed back with a portal.

"Oh come on man!" Sam complained after the fourth time.

Stephen chuckled. You looked up at him. He looked a little tired. You snuggled into his shoulder as things started to calm down and everyone started to talk.

Eventually, Stephen rearranged your body so that your feet and legs were in Tony's lap. Tony's hands rubbed calming circles on your knees.

"I'm sorry for leaving." You mumbled so that only Stephen and Tony could hear you. "It was just. . . a bit much with the kidnapping and then the misunderstanding. It just got to my head. But I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Sorry."

"It's alright sweetheart." Tony said, half asleep on Stephen's shoulder. "We all react in ways we wish we didn't. We just move forward. Just make sure to text or let one of us know. Just want you to be sleep. I mean safe."

You giggled quietly as Stephen chuckled, putting an arm around Tony's shoulder to pull him closer to himself. "You can both go to sleep now."

You closed your eyes, resting your head on Stephen's shoulder again. You felt warmth settle around your shoulders and found that he'd gotten a blanket from somewhere to keep you warm. You smiled before you fell fast asleep.

⬅️➡️

[minevn]

(sorry for mistakes) You wrote about how the LI would react to a meeting with the MC parents, but how would the LI’s parents react to the MC?

Minato: Well, since Minato doesn't have parents, we'll settle for grandparents, this will be in game! Anyways, they absolutely adore the MC, as long as you treat Minato right. They love teasing Minato about his feelings towards you, it reminds them of their youth when they had fallen in love with each other. Very supportive and easy to talk to, after the first meeting they love inviting you over any chance they get!

Haruto: Depending on your MC's story you could meet Haruto's and Kage's mom when you were younger or not at all(grade 12 is when their mom died) Canonically though! She met the MC through your parents in grade 1, so there wasn't a super big need to make yourself formal, you were just being introduced by your parent/s and were going to play with Haruto and Kage. Mrs. Kobayashi didn't really have much of an opinion, you were her new friends child and you were the same age as her oldest. She still doted on you of course, but you two didn't interact that much at first, you were there for Haruto and Kage, not her. As you started coming over more and growing up, you two would gradually get close and she ended up being like a second mother to you.

Jun: You met Mrs. Imai after she accepted a play date with you and Aki. Mrs. Imai didn't particularly care for you, she still doesn't. She's a woman with high standards and she doesn't like you if you don't meet those standards. Just play with Aki and Jun, don't talk to her, and she doesn't mind. She still took care of you though when you'd come over, of course she'd always push Aki and Jun over to your place afterwards to make up for having to take care of you. As you've gotten older, she still doesn't care for you but that's better then if you met her when you were an teen or adult. Chances are you would not meet her standards and therefore she doesn't like you. She'd even consider you a negative influence on Jun and Aki for their "behavior" and why her kids aren't perfect like how she wats them to be. Long story short, she tolerates you if you met her when you were younger and she hates you if you met her when she was older. Their father just goes along with whatever his wife wants.

Hoshi: I'm gonna talk about their dad with Hoshi. You met their dad when you applied to the restaurant. He seemed like a really nice guy until he defended his sons behavior's. There was definitely a rough patch between you two when it came to the twins. Depending on your ending though you can build a close relationship with Mr. Kikuchi. He can become close to a second father to you. I've seen people make their Mc's not work at the restaurant though so I wanna write about that too! I think things between you and Mr. Kikuchi would actually be easier if he wasn't your boss. Mr. Kikuchi would just no bring his sons to where you work often, he KNOWS that his sons behavior is an issue but he can't bring himself to scold them, so he just wouldn't bring them near you after he witnesses them being rude to you.

Habiki: I'm gonna talk about their Mom with Habiki. You will meet Mrs. Kikuchi as well in game! Realistically, I think you'd only meet her on holidays or family events that you've been invited too, but some stuff happens canonically that she's just too excited to wait until Christmas to meet you. She's already heard so much about you and she's not really one to like formality either so she's a very easy person to be around. You two get along quickly. Whenever her children are rude to you she scolds them and then gets on Mr. Kikuchi's case about letting them talk to you like that. She kind of feels like another friend. Whenever her and Habiki have duets she likes to invite you to join. She's also like a wing woman for you and her sons, she just wants everything to go well for you, she doesn't want your relationship to end up like how hers did.

Kage: Depending on your MC's story you could meet Kage's and Haruto's mom when you were younger or not at all(grade 12 is when their mom died) Canonically though! She met the MC through your parents in grade 1, so there wasn't a super big need to make yourself formal, you were just being introduced by your parent/s and were going to play with Kage and Haruto. Mrs. Kobayashi didn't really have much of an opinion, you were her new friends child and you were the same age as her oldest. She still doted on you of course, but you two didn't interact that much at first, you were there for Kage and Haruto, not her. As you started coming over more and growing up, you two would gradually get close and she ended up being like a second mother to you.

Kei: No, he does NOT want you meeting his parents and therefore you wont. They KNOW you're the reason he abandoned his original career, they saw the pictures, they saw the camera, they saw the footage, they HATE you without even meeting you. No matter when your mc meets Kei, they hate you for ruining his career path that they had set out for him.

Yani: 0̸1̶0̵1̷0̸1̶0̸0̸ ̵0̸1̶1̶0̶1̵0̸0̴0̴ ̵0̴1̷1̵0̵0̴1̴0̶1̴ ̵0̷1̷1̷1̸1̶0̸0̴1̴ ̸0̸0̵1̷0̶0̸0̴0̷0̷ ̶0̵1̶1̵0̸0̷1̶0̵0̵ ̵0̸1̴1̸0̸1̴1̸1̷1̴ ̸0̶1̶1̶0̸1̶1̵1̴0̵ ̴0̶0̶1̴0̸0̶1̵1̵1̷ ̷0̷1̷1̶1̵0̴1̴0̵0̶ ̸0̷0̵1̵0̴0̸0̷0̷0̶ ̴0̷1̴1̴0̴0̷1̶0̵1̷ ̴0̵1̴1̸1̷1̸0̷0̴0̴ ̵0̴1̶1̴0̷1̶0̷0̵1̸ ̴0̴1̸1̶1̶0̷0̵1̷1̵ ̷0̸1̴1̸1̴0̶1̴0̶0̷ ̴0̶0̴0̵0̷1̷0̶1̸0̸ ̴0̶1̶0̶1̷1̶0̴0̸1̶ ̵0̵1̵1̷0̷0̵0̷0̵1̷ ̴0̵1̵1̷0̶1̷1̷1̴0̴ ̸0̷1̵1̴0̷1̶0̷0̷1̸ ̵0̸0̶1̶0̶0̴0̵0̴0̸ ̴0̸1̷1̶0̶0̴1̴0̴0̴ ̵0̷1̸1̸0̵1̸1̸1̷1̶ ̶0̸1̷1̸0̸0̸1̸0̷1̷ ̵0̴1̵1̶1̷0̸0̴1̷1̸ ̷0̷1̵1̴0̷1̷1̷1̶0̸ ̶0̷0̸1̶0̵0̶1̸1̶1̷ ̷0̶1̸1̴1̵0̶1̷0̵0̵ ̸0̷0̸1̶0̸0̷0̴0̶0̷ ̵0̶1̶1̷0̵0̶1̶0̶1̵ ̴0̵1̵1̸1̸1̴0̷0̶0̷ ̷0̷1̴1̶0̸1̷0̵0̵1̸ ̶0̵1̶1̶1̵0̶0̸1̴1̶ ̶0̶1̴1̷1̵0̷1̵0̶0̵ ̸0̴0̷0̴0̴1̶0̷1̴0̴ ̸0̶1̸1̴1̵0̴1̴0̷0̵ ̵0̶1̶1̶0̴1̶0̶0̸0̸ ̷0̴1̸1̵0̵1̶0̴0̷1̷ ̶0̵1̷1̴1̸0̶0̷1̸1̸ ̷0̵0̶1̸0̷0̸0̶0̵0̴ ̴0̷1̵1̶1̶0̷1̵1̵1̴ ̵0̵1̵1̴0̸1̶1̷1̵1̵ ̴0̴1̶1̷1̴0̶0̴1̸0̶ ̴0̵1̸1̸0̶1̶1̶0̶0̸ ̸0̶1̶1̷0̶0̴1̸0̷0̵ ̸0̵0̸1̶0̶0̸0̸0̴0̵ ̶0̶1̵1̸0̵0̶1̴0̵0̶ ̷0̴1̷1̶0̶1̵1̶1̴1̶ ̴0̴1̵1̶0̵0̴1̶0̴1̸ ̵0̵1̷1̷1̷0̷0̸1̴1̴ ̵0̶1̴1̵0̸1̷1̵1̸0̶ ̷0̵0̵1̸0̸0̷1̷1̶1̶ ̷0̴1̴1̶1̴0̶1̸0̵0̶ ̶0̶0̵1̵0̵0̵0̴0̸0̵ ̴0̸1̷1̷0̵0̷1̷0̵1̷ ̴0̸1̷1̵1̴1̴0̵0̴0̶ ̵0̵1̴1̷0̴1̵0̶0̷1̴ ̵0̵1̶1̶1̸0̸0̶1̶1̷ ̸0̶1̷1̸1̴0̷1̸0̶0̷ ̶0̸0̷0̴0̷1̸0̶1̷0̸ ̸0̵1̸0̵0̷1̶1̷1̷0̴ ̸0̴1̷1̶0̴1̴1̸1̴1̵ ̶0̷1̷1̷0̵1̴1̸1̶0̷ ̴0̴1̷1̷0̷0̶1̵0̸1̶ ̵0̴0̶1̴0̸0̴0̶0̷0̴ ̸0̵1̶1̸0̸1̸1̶1̶1̶ ̵0̷1̷1̶0̸0̵1̵1̴0̴ ̵0̶0̴1̷0̵0̶0̵0̸0̵ ̵0̵1̶1̶1̵0̴1̵0̴0̵ ̵0̷1̴1̷0̵1̸0̷0̷0̵ ̷0̵1̸1̶0̶1̴0̵0̵1̸ ̴0̶1̴1̷1̴0̵0̶1̸1̷ ̷0̸0̷1̷0̷0̴0̷0̴0̶ ̴0̷1̴1̸0̸1̴0̷0̸1̵ ̵0̶1̸1̶1̸0̴0̸1̷1̴ ̸0̸0̴1̸0̶0̶0̶0̵0̷ ̸0̷1̵1̶1̵0̴0̷1̸0̸ ̶0̵1̴1̵0̴0̶1̷0̴1̴ ̴0̶1̵1̴0̶0̵0̴0̵1̴ ̷0̷1̸1̴0̸1̵1̵0̴0̸ ̵0̴0̶0̶0̵1̶0̷1̵0̵ ̷0̸1̶1̴0̶1̶1̶0̶0̶ ̶0̴1̴1̸0̵1̴1̶1̴1̶ ̴0̶1̴1̸0̶0̵1̵1̶1̵ ̶0̷0̷1̷0̵0̵0̴0̷0̸ ̴0̶1̶1̵0̴1̸1̶1̶1̵ ̶0̵1̴1̴0̷0̴1̸1̴0̴ ̷0̷1̸1̸0̷0̷1̸1̶0̸ ̴0̸0̸0̴0̶1̴0̸1̴0̵ ̷0̴1̴1̷0̴0̵0̸0̴1̷ ̶0̶1̴1̷0̷1̸1̴1̵0̶ ̴0̸1̵1̶0̷0̶1̷0̷0̷ ̴0̴0̶1̵0̷0̸0̶0̷0̴ ̷0̸1̷1̴0̶0̸0̶1̵1̸ ̵0̸1̵1̸0̸1̴1̶1̶1̴ ̷0̴1̵1̶0̸1̵1̷1̵0̶ ̵0̴1̷1̵1̷0̸1̵0̷0̵ ̴0̷1̵1̴0̶1̴0̷0̵1̶ ̸0̶1̷1̸0̵1̵1̶1̸0̸ ̷0̶1̸1̸1̴0̶1̷0̶1̴ ̵0̴1̷1̴0̷0̴1̵0̷1̶ ̴0̴0̴1̵0̷0̵0̵0̴0̴ ̸0̴1̴1̵1̸0̴1̵1̷1̶ ̴0̴1̵1̸0̷1̵0̴0̵1̷ ̶0̶1̵1̵1̸0̷1̸0̵0̶ ̶0̶1̸1̵0̶1̸0̸0̶0̷ ̸0̸0̷1̴0̴0̵0̷0̵0̸ ̴0̴1̷1̷1̵1̴0̴0̴1̸ ̶0̴1̸1̴0̶1̴1̶1̷1̸ ̵0̶1̷1̸1̸0̸1̸0̶1̷ ̶0̸1̶1̶1̵0̸0̴1̵0̴ ̶0̴0̶1̷0̵0̸0̴0̴0̶ ̴0̸1̵1̷1̶0̶0̴1̸0̸ ̸0̴1̷1̴0̶0̵1̶0̵1̷ ̷0̸1̸1̷0̴0̸0̷0̴1̵ ̷0̵1̵1̶0̷1̴1̵0̴0̸ ̵0̶0̸1̶0̶0̷0̶0̴0̶ ̸0̵1̵1̷0̸1̴1̴0̴0̸ ̷0̶1̶1̸0̸1̸0̶0̴1̸ ̶0̶1̵1̸0̶0̸1̴1̸0̶ ̴0̴1̴1̷0̴0̴1̶0̷1̷ ̴0̴0̵0̴0̴1̶0̷1̶0̵ ̶0̶1̸1̷0̷1̸1̵0̷0̴ ̴0̴1̴1̵0̸0̶1̸0̴1̷ ̵0̷1̶1̶0̷0̷0̷0̷1̴ ̴0̵1̵1̵1̷0̵1̴1̴0̶ ̸0̵1̷1̶0̵0̵1̴0̷1̸ ̷0̶0̷1̶0̵0̶0̴0̴0̷ ̴0̴1̴1̸0̵0̵0̴1̴0̷ ̵0̴1̷1̴0̸0̴1̵0̷1̴ ̵0̷1̵1̵0̸1̵0̸0̸0̷ ̵0̶1̶1̴0̴1̷0̷0̶1̸ ̸0̸1̷1̵0̶1̸1̷1̷0̵ ̴0̷1̶1̸0̵0̷1̸0̵0̸ ̶0̷0̴1̵0̵0̸0̶0̶0̶ ̶0̷1̵0̷1̶1̶0̵0̵1̸ ̴0̵1̴1̸0̵0̸0̷0̵1̸ ̶0̷1̸1̷0̵1̶1̴1̸0̴ ̵0̶1̷1̵0̸1̴0̶0̴1̵ ̴0̸0̴0̴0̸1̶0̵1̸0̵ ̸0̵1̷0̷0̴1̶1̴0̶0̶ ̵0̵1̵1̶0̸0̷1̶0̸1̷ ̷0̶1̸1̴0̴0̷0̸0̵1̶ ̵0̸1̷1̶1̵0̷1̴1̶0̴ ̴0̶1̶1̵0̸0̷1̶0̶1̶ ̴0̵0̶1̶0̶0̷0̶0̵0̵ ̷0̸1̵1̷0̵0̵0̴1̶0̴ ̶0̴1̸1̵0̷0̸1̸0̶1̴ ̴0̴1̷1̶0̸1̸0̴0̴0̷ ̶0̵1̴1̷0̸1̶0̶0̶1̷ ̵0̴1̵1̷0̴1̵1̵1̵0̴ ̴0̵1̴1̷0̴0̸1̷0̵0̶ ̶0̶0̴1̵0̶0̸0̴0̴0̵ ̴0̶1̴0̴0̷1̸0̸1̷1̵ ̷0̶1̷1̴0̴0̴1̷0̵1̷ ̴0̸1̷1̸0̴1̴0̸0̸1̶ ̵0̶1̷1̵0̵0̷1̶1̸0̴ ̷0̶1̴1̵0̸1̴1̷1̴1̶ ̴0̶1̶1̷1̴0̵0̵1̴0̷ ̵0̷0̷1̴0̸0̴0̵0̴0̸ ̵0̵1̸1̵1̶1̸0̸0̸1̶ ̶0̵1̴1̶0̴1̸1̶1̷1̴ ̸0̵1̴1̶1̴0̵1̷0̴1̷ ̷0̴1̸1̶1̷0̶0̸1̷0̵ ̵0̴0̵1̸0̴0̴0̵0̵0̸ ̴0̵1̶1̸1̸0̷0̴1̷1̷ ̵0̷1̷1̶0̴0̸0̶0̷1̴ ̸0̷1̷1̶0̴0̶1̴1̷0̴ ̶0̷1̴1̸0̶0̷1̷0̸1̴ ̶0̸1̶1̷1̸0̷1̸0̷0̷ ̶0̵1̷1̷1̶1̷0̶0̸1̵

Aki: You met Mrs. Imai after she accepted a play date with you and Aki. Mrs. Imai didn't particularly care for you, she still doesn't. She's a woman with high standards and she doesn't like you if you don't meet those standards. Just play with Aki and Jun, don't talk to her, and she doesn't mind. She still took care of you though when you'd come over, of course she'd always push Aki and Jun over to your place afterwards to make up for having to take care of you. As you've gotten older, she still doesn't care for you but that's better then if you met her when you were an teen or adult. Chances are you would not meet her standards and therefore she doesn't like you. She'd even consider you a negative influence on Jun and Aki for their "behavior" and why her kids aren't perfect like how she wats them to be. Long story short, she tolerates you if you met her when you were younger and she hates you if you met her when she was older. Their father just goes along with whatever his wife wants.

[owmylasagna-blog]

So, what's the real appeal in Ed/May? I see that this popular, but over all the show I see aproximately zero positive moments/development between them, including in the finale. Nothing positive, I can't think of anything that wasn't one-sided or outright negative. And I think Ed deserves faaar better than her; I don't see him just forgeting all she made and sudenly falling in love with her (fanfics where they're just dating out of nowhere specially irks me) without any explanation or development.

The appeal seems just ''pair the dumb/goofy ones'' (why not Ed/Nazz? Or Ed/Rolf? Or even Ed/Jonny?)

Honestly, I'm under the impression people only ship it as a Beta Couple for Edd/Eddy, and nothing else more. Your reasoning?

Wow I’m actually pretty glad I got this question because I’ve had a half baked post on this very subject that’s been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Now I have a reason to actually share it.

And from the jump, no I don’t ship Ed and May solely because I’m an eddeddy shipper. I actually see some interesting potential here! I also ship Ed wildly because he’s just a lover boi in my mind. Perhaps even most wildly out of the entire cast of the show: I have the receipts for dabbling in edrolf and ednazz but I can really only imagine those pairings as little flings.

So what is it about edmay that works?

Of the three Kanker sisters, May actually seems to be the only one to genuinely have a crush on her preferred Ed. It goes beyond the typical taunting and harassing her sisters subject the other Eds to. The intro to Hanky Panky Hullabaloo is a prime example of this: May makes a mushy valentine and Marie and Lee make fun of her for it. Afterwards the two talk about May behind her back: “Now we know who got mom’s genes.” “Hormones”. I think it's an interesting summary of how the sisters have differing perspectives on relationships and how they think about boys/men. While Marie and Lee are more disenchanted by romance, they see May as more naive and prone to getting emotionally attached in the same way their mom probably falls for one disappointing man after another. Anyway, the point is that I think May cares whether Ed reciprocates those feelings while Marie and Lee don’t with Eddy or Edd.

CUTE!

Now we have Ed’s reactions to May. In the earlier seasons, he doesn’t seem as averse to the Kanker harassment. Honestly sometimes he’s sort of enjoying it or just not bothered at all. I don’t think Ed generally would show his interests or feelings in a very typical way. Actually the most damning evidence that he might actually be attracted at all to May or just girls period are the moments where he is acting the most repulsed by them. We are talking about a 12 year old after all, probably a bit panicked by some new hormones and feelings about “icky girls”: to me, it reads as the early stages of immature boyish attraction.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t include at least one reference to the Ed-cyclopedia that is Kevin Lordi (as per usual), who got the scoop that the writers toyed with the idea of making Ed and May canon in the earlier seasons, even scraped S2 episode where they are caught kissing in the bushes being the basis for HPH (Lordi 2017, 2018).

So what is in this ship for them? I really like exploring this ship because of many of the parallels I see in their characters. I think it’s safe to say that Ed and May are respective outliers in their trios: May being the younger punching bag to her older sisters, Ed sort of being off on his own planet or plane of existence from Edd and Eddy most of the time. I could see both naturally branching out on their own while the remaining two are prone to buddying up. Other similarities, as you mention, also make them a cute pair: they are goofy, a bit ditzy, naturally kind hearted, a bit off beat, a tad (or a lot) gross. Nothing wrong with that!

Both come from pretty bleak home lives, lacking in support or parental nurturing. For this reason, you see them often compensating by being the nurturing types themselves: Ed being the protective big brother to Sarah and his two best pals, May often playing out a maternal fantasy (more than once she plays mommy and baby in the show; coddling Jimmy in BPS). Now just think of a relationship where these two get together!!! Having an outlet for compassion AND on the receiving end of it. I think they have the potential to have a very sweet relationship ripe for healing and personal growth.

I see them coming to appreciate each other with a bit of time and maturity, maybe striking up a friendship first before actually dating later in their teens or early adulthood. Oddly enough I make lots of parallels between Edd and May as well and could easily imagine some aspects of Edd and Ed’s friendship manifesting in edmay. The biggest factor being what I said about May having this maternal care-taker drive. Seeing as the Kanker sisters just about raised themselves and had to grow up really fast, you end up with a very “parentified” child. And if Edd isn’t the poster child for being a parentified kid I don’t know what… Anyway, in the same way that Edd acts as a stand-in parental figure to Ed I think May would quickly take on a similar role. I’m NOT endorsing this dynamic as 100% positive!!! I think it would be complicated! But it’s an interesting ship dynamic nonetheless and I’m trying to explore that in my aged up AU now.

[quranwithsehar]

You were applying for a job, but it didn't work out. You were really hoping it would work out, or you were really hoping to get accepted into the university. Unfortunately, you didn't get accepted at the university. Those are the kinds of tests where you could feel depressed or sad, but you can't live in that sadness. Feeling those emotions at first doesn't mean you don't have Sabr. You can have those feelings and experience those emotions, then pick yourself up and try again.

So, you can have a dip, a low, and a high – that's being human. Allah didn't create us as angels. Sometimes we may face other trials, for example, an engagement that broke off, a marriage that ended miserably, or not wanting parents to get divorced, and they did. These situations involve people, people doing things that hurt us or things we wish they didn't do.

I think the solace, at least for me, comes from the stories in the Quran where people much better than us, like Yunus, had no control over his family. He didn't have any control; Ibrahim, an incredible human being, had no say in his father's choices. We cannot control other people's choices, and sometimes those choices deeply hurt us. People much better than us were hurt deeply. Ibrahim AS being kicked out of his house was not easy; being married to Firaun was not easy. For Musa AS, running away from home was not easy. These people were traumatized by many terrible experiences. Allah taught us through them that we can only control what is within our grasp, and we have to learn to let go of what isn't.

In the end, we say, "To Allah, we belong, and to Him, we are going to return." Any problem I'm having, how long is it going to last? Well, as long as I last. I'm not here for that long. When I think about the grand scheme of things, this problem isn't as big as I think it is. And of course, Allah has given us hope too. After every difficulty, there is great ease. Now, put yourself in their shoes; how much did the companions love the Prophet? When he died, how devastated were they? In that moment, for them to believe the Quran is still there, saying, "With difficulty comes twice the ease." They were devastated, in tears, broken, but their faith allowed them to heal and move forward. Allah created so much ease for the ummah afterwards.

That's just this life; it's going to come with trials and difficulties. Allah has made us mentally prepared that life isn't going to be easy; He said it many times. We all have trials; don't believe someone else has an easy life because they appear to on social media. Everyone has things causing them hurt; the person next to you has things causing them hurt. These influencers may talk about the blessings of Allah, but that doesn't mean they're showered with blessings every morning and have no issues.

Sometimes we run after things that are not real, believing them to be real because someone else has them. We may think others don't have any challenges, but everyone deals with their own pain. Allah tests people differently, but we don't see the other person's trial or know that their trial is the same as ours. We might wonder why Allah is not testing someone else or why we couldn't have it easy like they do. We don't know their reality, so these thoughts should give us some comfort. Whatever trial Allah has picked for me, whatever loss, whatever experience, is something I'm supposed to learn from, learn and grow from. Keep moving forward.

-Ustad Nouman Ali Khan

[forestangel]

To my dearest friend

There are words I've never spoken out loud, feelings I've never allowed you notice. I wish I haven't withdrawn myself back then.

No conflict in this world was worth losing you. I don't care if I have felt betrayed, I shouldn't have let you go. Assumed you changed and that it's for the better that you stick with her instead of with me.

We haven't really talked in over a year, since our graduation. I only wished you a merry christmas on whatsapp because I know that it's your favorite time of the year. And I miss you every day, I am not lying when I say think of you and the days we spent together everyday.

The day we went to the forest and ran down the hill between the tall mossy trees, declaring our love to eachother. This was the day I realised platonic love is the strongest bond that can be created between two humans. I still keep our polaroid photo close to me.

The winter days we spent baking for our school's christmas market. We always made such a mess and couldn't stop laughing for hours. I've never been a fan of christmas, but you are the reason I fell in love with the season. Afterwards we would get cozy and watch something on your TV. To this day, I can't describe how much I love your room and how lovely it has been, with the dim LED lights and shelves filled with books. Teen wolf was our show. And I admire you for beeing such a book nerd.

In german class, you wrote me a flower poem, how I am like a snowdrop flower, full of beauty and strong in hard times. I hide it in a box between all the gifts you have made me since 6th grade. I still read through the long birthday cards you had written to me. Hundreds of memories that we have created over the years are inside of that little box.

You told me that you are scared of falling in love, that you would probably be easily manipulated because of how inexperienced you are. I promised you to always give you advice and help you if that day ever comes. I hope it didn't because if it did, I broke my promise to protect you.

I will never forget how you called me on new year's eve 2021/22. We talked for hours and you opened up to me about how unloved you felt at home. We lost ourselves in our fantasy realities, away from the stressful studying tasks and horrible parents, where we have our own little café in a remote area. Is this a universal girlhood dream, to own a bookshop that is also a bakery and flowershop? I told you that dreams are not silly but to be taken serious, since no beautiful life can be created without dreaming. And you answered that you love me for my dreamy nature. That whenever I enter a room, I radiate a magical energy. That the way I talk radiates peace. Never ever will I forget these words. To the day I die and beyond.

But is this all now? Is it all just a dream now? I hoped to make our dreams reality and I haven't stopped dreaming. At least not forever. But have you? Have you grown up already? Have you turned out boring now? Or did you keep your promise to stay a wild child like we intended to?

Screw her. I shouldn't have put my jealousy and fears in front of our friendship. I thought I've already lost you, not knowing I was the one pushing you away. I may be wiser now but what difference does it make now. I wish I didn't let my emotions control me. I wish I never got anorexic and let my fears of the future eat me while I starved myself. What happened to the dreams, and why did I stop believing in them? I wish I talked to you.

When I was at my worst and really needed someone to talk to, you were getting drunk with her. I wanted to die and watching you laugh with her instead of with me made me realise that it might be for the best, that you found a friend not as miserable as me. So I let myself drown in tears and agony. Despite distancing myself so much, what I really wanted was my best friend. I wanted you to help me find my dreams again. Like I did when you were hurting. I just wanted you to remind me of dreaming again. But you didn't - of course you didn't, because every single behaviour of mine indicated that I don't want you around anymore. How can one's feelings be so different than their actions? I was the living example for that. To make it worse, I lost myself in social media addiction just to never face my feelings.

I eventually healed, but it is too late now. Time passed, we went on different paths in life and I'm not sure if what we had can ever be as magical as it once was. It’s just so hard to tie you back into my life with all this distance between us. But I started dreaming again, without your help, and in my dreams we are reunited again. I fear as long as I don't make the first step and call you, that dream will stay a past regret instead of our fairytale reality.

(not sure if anyone will ever read through this. But my only hope is that one day I'll be able to let you know of my true thoughts and feelings and that you can forgive me)