#whumptober 2k19
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twofacedbelief · 5 years ago
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Ao3 Links: WhumpTober series Local Cryptids Belief/Deception
Day 1: Shaky Hands Warnings: Some suicidal ideation
Two days. Two days of no sleep, two days of energy drinks and black coffee. He can’t remember when his body last got any solids. It’s his own fault, of course, because it’s always his own fault. It’s his own fault that he can’t sleep, his own fault that nightmares and sleep paralysis haunt him, his own fault that he has to push his body to the point of exhaustion just to get some rest.
He’s wandering through the streets on autopilot, not caring that a car could come driving towards him at any moment. It’s what… 1 am? 2 am? It’s late, so he doesn’t expect to be run over by a car. He would probably welcome it, with how his week has been going. Maybe he’ll just wander the streets the whole night, instead of trying to find somewhere to get his caffeine fix. He digs his hands deeper into the pockets of his hoodie as if that will warm them. The night air is cold, and he’s not dressed for it.
If a car doesn’t kill him, maybe pneumonia will. Except he doesn’t actually want to die.
There’s a lit shop that catches his attention. He can just barely make out the sign - Fluidi-Tea? They must sell coffee. Hoping that the shop is actually open and the lights weren’t just forgotten, he walks towards it. He can see a rainbow flag through the window, hanging on the wall. He stumbles a bit over his own feet in surprise and then walks faster. A gay-friendly coffee shop? That’s the first good thing to happen to this town.
Virgil pushes the door open. There’s no bell chime, which is just another point in favour of the coffee shop. Assuming the coffee tastes good, this is officially his new favourite place. Especially since it’s open at whatever ungodly hour it is, on a weeknight. He pushes his hood down to appear friendlier and stumble his way to the counter.
“What can I get you, babe?” the barista asks. Virgil takes a moment to take in their appearance.
Sunglasses hide the person’s eyes, but they have shoulder-length mauve hair and skin paler even than his own. They’re wearing a black leather jacket over a neon blue crop top with a geometric pattern, paired with black metallic spandex leggings. In short, they look absolutely gorgeous and his heart skips a beat. It might be because of the amount of caffeine in his bloodstream. His hands are shaking, where they’re hovering awkwardly over the counter. He thinks he might be in love if this is what love feels like.
“Babe?” the barista prompts. Virgil must have been staring. He blinks slowly and swallows.
“Uh… Marry me?” is what comes out of his mouth, and Virgil wants to smack himself, that was so stupid, why is he so stupid-
“Yeah, okay.”
Wait. What?
“Are you just humouring me because you think I’m drunk?” Virgil questions because he can’t help himself. This might be a hallucination because it’s too good to be true, and realistically that could happen considering he has been awake for two days.
“I mean, I want a ring if we’re doing this, but I’m saying yes.”
“Okay.”
“So, did you want a coffee or? It’s on the house.”
Virgil doesn’t completely know what’s going on, but he accepts the free black coffee. He doesn’t get the barista’s name, and he doesn’t give his own. When he gets home later, he crashes on his sofa for fifteen hours. But the next day, he will come back with a ring, and the barista will still want to marry him.
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number1120 · 5 years ago
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23: Blood Lost
*A gift for @10th-no-name-person
Lived
“Shh, shh, bitte, mien Leben,” his voice was soft as he leaned Henrik’s back against the wall. “I’ll find someone!--”
“N-nein,” he coughed, grasping Anti by the wrist. “Stay with me.” There were eight-feathered-knives sticking in his chest. One moment, he’s fighting one of Marvin’s shadows then the next Henrik was there, standing in shock. “Anthony, stay.” Blood trickled from the corner of his lips. “Please, stay?”
Anti bit his lip as he leaned his head against his. He cuffed his checks and shook his head. “No,” he mummered. “No; I can’t. I--”
“Yes, you can,” he breathed. He felt his heart soften and slow. The hour glass of his time was slipping through the cracks, and he could never get any of it back. He had a good life while it lasted. He had his daughter in his life. His brothers were together for once. His wife wanted to get back together. Even with the ups and downs, Henrik lived; he was alive and he loved it! 
“You can do” he breathed out, his eyes rolling in a heavy fog. He could feel the blood dripping from his chest and down his shirt. “You can live,” he grunted. There are so many things he wants to say to his brother. “You can live for me.” 
“And you’ll be with me, ja?” Anti shook him. “Right next to me!” Fat tears fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. 
One last look was his good bye.
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queenofdenest · 4 years ago
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Prompt: 8. stab wound Series: unofficial (and very outdated) whumptober 2k19 Fandom: Hetalia. Warnings/Tags: mild descriptions of injuries, blood, mentions of death Characters: APH Prus.sia, APH Liv.onia Pairings: PruLiv Summary: Johannes receives a wound, he ignores it. [part character study, prequel to prompt no 3. infection]
A/N: I love my OCs, I swear I do - just ignore the fact that they're often messed up and getting stabbed. Also, the more I write this ship, the more I just love it??? even though I know that they don't get a happy ending; I mean, I've written their ending, it's shitty. Anyway, I saw that this prompt was for someone getting stabbed and I knew I was going to stab Johannes so please enjoy this fic of him getting stabbed.
Additional notes at the bottom as always, and like always, they're pretty much longer than the actual fic, sorry about that.
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It’s a searing pain, barely paid attention to as the fight wages on. An enemy soldier with a much longer arm span than him and a dagger, piercing pain, and then the human is dead and Johannes is pressing his right hand against the wound before turning back to the fight. Surely, somewhere back in his mind said, he would be healed before the end of the fight as he did with most of the injuries he received on the battlefield.
It didn’t though.
His skin was still bleeding as he surveyed the lands, sky blue eyes scanning around for his other half. He pressed his right hand against it once more, as if he was willing it to close; it may have lessened the blood, but it was still there, still hot and sticky against his hand; still a mess of torn skin and clothing. Pursed lips, narrowed eyes and he went back to his search for Gilbert.
Most nations would look to their soldiers first, but not him – he was an oddity in that sense, slightly detached from his people in a way he knew the others weren’t. His first focus after every fight was always Gilbert. The other nation was his most precious; the one person in all the lands that cared about him in such ways.
Pale skin and pale hair stood from the ground, a muttered Germanic word being shouted as he pushed a body off of him.
Johannes felt a smile on his face. He called out a yell for his men to gather themselves before he rushed over to his fellow nation. They always stayed behind after fights; it allowed them to have moments together – short stolen moments, but moments nonetheless.
The pain returned with a force though as Gilbert rushed to him. The feeling of the other’s hands wrapping around him was the only reason he didn’t collapse right then and there. The gasp that fell from his lips did so unwillingly, the noise nothing more than air being pushed between clenched teeth.
“You’re injured?” Gilbert asked, his voice breaking as if the idea of him being injured was such a terrifying thing.
“Barely a scratch,” He lied. “I’m just exhausted; these crusades have gone on for so long, I miss our beds.”
That was the truth. It felt like every day was just another long walk through places he hardly cared about, trying to either teach them the Word of God or force them to learn and though he found it an honor, he also found it exhausting. He wasn’t like Gilbert, who saw the Gospel of the Lord as the truth; Johannes had been alive for a time longer, his people wanderers – not his, not his, not his– and he had seen a countless amount of religions purport to be the True One.
Of course, none of that mattered as he moved a hand back to the wound when Gilbert moved to go check the men they traveled with. They were the most trusted of all the humans they traveled with; they were blessed with the knowledge of what Gilbert and Johannes was, and had, when they were first being introduced, promised to serve them as if they were personally serving God and his Son.
His wound had slowed to a steady trickle of blood, the skin stayed torn though on the side. It didn’t seem as if the dagger had been poisoned, and though he truly doubted it would be – a backwater town of pagans and blasphemers would not likely have poison – there was always the stray poisonous plants that they could turn into such things. He worried his lip between his teeth, watching with fear as his skin continued to not do what it was supposed to.
He had heard of injuries to nations causing temporary death. Several of the larger Germanic States had spoken about it whenever they passed each other during trading. Johannes had never experienced it. His only experience with death was his mother, and she had taken the body of what she called her husband out on a boat and sailed until she died in her grief against losing him.
She never came back. She represented the same people as he had. Why would he get to come back and not her?
Fear welled uncomfortably in his stomach. His hand pressed against the wound once again, this time harshly. He wanted it to hurt; to remind him he was alive.
“Johannes!” Gilbert’s voice warmed him, the stab wound in his side tossed to the side as he listened to the rest of the words. Few causalities (he didn’t care), the people subdued (again, he barely cared), and an area that wasn’t the woods where they could rest (the only important thing in there).
He nodded his head, making to move forward. The pain pulsed. He wanted to fall to the ground; he’d never done so before, but it felt like something one should do when they felt like what he felt like. But Johannes couldn’t. He was Livonia, he was a nation that never bowed when given the chances – his people might, but never him – falling to the ground would be tantamount to bowing.
An injury from a no named dead man felling him.
As if.
He moved again, the flesh in his stomach pulling as he did so. Red hot pain surged forwards, the wound all but screaming.
Johannes kept his mouth firmly shut as he continued his steps. He would never worry Gilbert like this, never. He’d dress the wound when he had a chance, hide it until it healed properly. Deep breath in, he thought to himself as he forced a smile on his face, making his way to the other nation. It’ll all be okay.
After all, he would be the King of this area soon enough. And kings were too strong to fall.
_______________
Additional Author's Notes: The dagger that stabbed him was poisoned, he's just overconfident that in such a fight as the one he was in, it'd be impossible for the villagers to have any kind of poison.
Anyway, here's a fic with as little basis in history as possible, though as always, I do point out that this time period - when Livonia was "Terra Mariana" - it was a period of constant struggle as the lands owned by the different groups; the Church, the Livonian Order, it's nobility which was mainly secular, fought for supremacy and that is one of the main reasons I have Johannes have such trouble reconciling who he is with his people; because he's being pulled in so many directions.
And since there is not alot of historical accuracy in this, almost everything is head-canons; mostly Johannes' "mother" nation who once represented the people he now does so. She is, as most people who have spent some time on my blog knows, one of the many language-slash-regional personifications that exist in my own personal head-canons [I swear one of these days I will write down my thought process on this - that day is not today, not by a long shot - but one day it will happen] and not really the former representation of Livonia. Instead, she represented the general area and left upon losing her lover. I'll one day tell that story, but honestly, I've been fleshing this shit out since I got into Hetalia and so that's like so many years of conflicting head-canons all with *some* basis in history fighting to be top dog so who knows when that'll ever be.
The biggest - and pretty sure only?? - historical bit is the fact that Livonia was apart of the religious crusades and holy shit was it fucked up. I think my favourite part of reading was about the Archbishop of Riga wanting to convert all the pagans so asked for a retinue of Teutonic Knights - because y'know gotta have that army of soliders for when the nasty little pagans don't agree with you??????????? [can i say what the actual fuck? or is that rude?] Honestly, just !!!!!!!
Anyway, another tidbit of historical information is that Livonia actually did want to be like ruler of the general area they were in - namely the Estonian and Latvian lands - because they were really prosperous lands. The capital of Estonia, Tallinn was once a very very important port city [or so I read somewhere, I think].
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arwenride · 3 years ago
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AroAce Keith Masterpost
Valentine’s Day is a struggle for a lot of aromantic and asexual people out there, including me. So I’m making this compilation of my fics that feature aroace Keith in hopes of providing some comfort, or at the very least, distraction. 
Not Another Goddamn Love Story
Picking Up the Pieces
The Ace Arms of Voltron
Dented Armor (Dark)
Don’t Try to Fix Me (I’m Not Broken) (Dark)
If You See Something... (Dark)
Gentron Week 2k19: Two Can Keep a Secret
Gentron Week 2k19: Oh My God They Were Roommates
Gentron Week 2k19: Dressed to Impress
Whumptober 2k19: All the Same in Love and War
Discord Prompts: Heartache 
There’s also an AroAce Keith Zine! I had the honor of participating along with several other talented writers and artists. It’s FREE TO DOWNLOAD as a PDF and as a Heyzine. 
For more AroAce Keith content, check out @justheretobreakthings
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lildevyl · 3 years ago
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for the egos ask game! 2, 4, and 21?
2) Which ego is your favorite, and why? Chase! Definitely Chase! IDK, why, but he's very relatable in many ways! I just love him! I know we don't have much to go on but I do love writing about him! And Marvin! I just haven't had the chance to sit down and get back into the game yet with the Egos! Still trying to figure out my own versions of them!
4) Which ego-centric video is your favorite? Ah man that's a tough one! There's Say Goodbye that I really love! I actually did like my own little Whumptober back in 2k19 (or was it 2020?) for that video! Another is of course is Kill JackSepticeye. Is that when Jack went into a coma or after? Was it a video from the future? Was the video a warning from Anti? Another one that is really cool but unfortunately at the time I think I was starting to experience burn out is, Don't Make Eye Contact the video that we got with Marvin! I just didn't get the chance to comb through it for any theories. I might actually do that here! Right now, I'm just trying to take one day at the time.
21) Do you have any WIPS about the egos? If so, what are you making? Oh hell yeah baby! I just need to sit down and go over everything!
There's Septicscape that I'm re-writing. I don't want to go into details so please don't ask, but I just need to re0write that story! It's not going where I want it to and a couple of the writers that were helping me out and said yes to guest staring in it, we . . . had a falling out. Again, please don't ask!
There's also the Untitle.exe that's a Swap!AU that I want to do with it! AntiSepticeye is an Anti-Hero in this one! AntiSepticeye is the Hero of Septic City! Jackieboy Man becomes the Villain (still trying to figure out a Villain name for him, b/c he winds up with Anti's powers, glitching, controlling electronics, blackouts). Marvin is the Time Traveler, so he's JJ and has JJ's powers. JJ is the Magician! He's the one that has the magic! Henrik von Schneeplestein is a Conspiracy Theorist Vloger! He has a YouTube Channel that goes on to explore and experiment with different Conspiracy Theories. Chase is the Good Doctor! And I know what your thinking who's the main Villain? Well, that's DarkSepticeye! Think of him as the Septics version of Darkiplier.
I also, have a couple of guest stars in there as well! @10th-no-name-person guests stars and I have it where she and Robin (Special Effects, Robin's a Superhero as well in this one!) were old partners in crime before Anti helped Robin out. And of course @weirdmixofweirdness is guesting staring too as Nora Weird!
I have a few other ideas that I want to do with the Egos and also maybe some crossover with the Dream SMP Fandom. Like a Superhero AU with them meeting together or something like that! But yeah! I have a ton of ideas! I just haven't had the chance to sit down and start writing them out yet!
I do miss the JSE Community! So, I'm going to try and maybe get back into it! Slowly but surely! But I do miss the Community and talking to you Fiends! Thanks for the ask!
HAPPY CREATING!
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doctordiscord123 · 5 years ago
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I think you putting your Tumblr stories on AO3 is a great idea! Maybe just put them under an AU or Tumblr request collection. Maybe put them under both labels like you did for Xmas 2k19 and the ego manor?
I was thinking of leaving requests where they are, or maybe adding them to the drabble book eventually, but like, all the Trauma AU fics, and the Animal AU ones and the Whumptober fics I did a while back, plus all the other random stuff I’ve done. Of course I’ll add the AUs to their own series, but yeah! Just to have something for everyone to read while I’m gone
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ao3feed-timdrake · 5 years ago
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Replacement
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2puAARE
by Princess_of_the_Pen
Whumptober Day 2 - Explosion
Specifically, Tim was thinking about how’d he managed to do it again. He’d managed to go out and get himself into the exact situation Jason had been in. Well, maybe not the exact same but the components were all there. A rogue (this time Shiva instead of the Joker), a blunt object (a bo staff - his bo staff - instead of a crowbar), and a ticking bomb announcing just how long Tim had left on this earth. Even if the situation that put him here was different, enough was the same that people would notice. People would notice, and people would compare. It was as if Tim was destined to always be exactly where Jason was, leaving Tim to follow too big footprints his feet couldn’t fill, and Jason without a place to be.
Words: 1314, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 2 of Whumptober 2k19
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Categories: Gen
Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne (Mentioned), Dick Grayson (mentioned)
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Additional Tags: Tim Drake is dying, Beaten nearly to death by Shiva with his own bo staff, And waiting for the bomb to go off and finish him, Hmmm.... beaten and then exploded..., sounds familiar?, Tim feels really guilty about this and a lot of stuff, Jason wouldn't wish this on his worse enemy, except the joker. The joker deserves it
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2puAARE
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ao3feed-narumitsu · 5 years ago
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Just This Once
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MaZ2ir
by savegalkissy
[Whimptober day 3: Delirium]
Phoenix wakes up with a bad cold, and a daughter who needs to get to school. Thankfully, he can count on Miles.
Words: 1329, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright, Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth, Naruhodou Minuki | Trucy Wright
Relationships: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright
Additional Tags: whumptober 2019, Whumptober, Whump, Sickfic, edgeworth cares and doesnt know how to show it, Mutual Pining, Delirium, Seven Year Gap (Gyakuten Saiban), set whenever tbh, let edgeworth be trucy's dad 2k19, Mild Hurt/Comfort
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MaZ2ir This is an automatic feed of all new stories posted to the Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright tag on AO3. Because of that, it is not guaranteed that Miles and Phoenix are the main characters in the story, nor the only ship. Please verify content upon clicking through to AO3.
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ao3feed-wrightworth · 5 years ago
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Just This Once
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MaZ2ir
by savegalkissy
[Whimptober day 3: Delirium]
Phoenix wakes up with a bad cold, and a daughter who needs to get to school. Thankfully, he can count on Miles.
Words: 1329, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright, Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth, Naruhodou Minuki | Trucy Wright
Relationships: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright
Additional Tags: whumptober 2019, Whumptober, Whump, Sickfic, edgeworth cares and doesnt know how to show it, Mutual Pining, Delirium, Seven Year Gap (Gyakuten Saiban), set whenever tbh, let edgeworth be trucy's dad 2k19
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MaZ2ir
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Whumptober 2k19 Collection
read it on the AO3 at Whumptober 2k19 Collection
by SilenceIsGolden15
The oneshot collection for Whumptober 2k19! (Sorry for the wall of tags a lot of stuff goes down in here).
Words: 1224, Chapters: 1/31, Language: English
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: Gen
Characters: Keith (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Krolia (Voltron), Keith's Wolf (Voltron), Kolivan (Voltron)
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Krolia (Voltron), Keith & Kolivan (Voltron), Keith & Red Lion (Voltron), Hunk & Keith (Voltron), Allura & Keith (Voltron), Coran & Keith (Voltron)
Additional Tags: Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Aromantic Asexual Keith (Voltron), First Kiss, Bullying, Humiliation, Foster Kid Keith (Voltron), Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abandonment, Heat Stroke, Suicidal Thoughts, Child Neglect, Dehydration, Episode: s01e09 Crystal Venom, Blood, Stabbing, Delirium, Near Death Experiences, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Asphyxiation, Unconsciousness, Team as Family, Galra Keith (Voltron), Fantastic Racism, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Protective Krolia (Voltron), Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Telepathic Bond, Adrenaline, Hugs, Exhaustion, Post-Season/Series 02, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Solitary Confinement, Claustrophobia, Self-Harm, Dissociation, Headaches & Migraines, Panic Attacks, Touch-Starved Keith (Voltron), Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Touching, Attempted Sexual Assault, Mind Meld, Hostage Situations, Shiro (Voltron) Has a Clone, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Lonely Keith (Voltron), Burns, Infection, Fever, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Sick Keith (Voltron), Post-Episode: s06e05 The Black Paladins, Flashbacks, Forehead Kisses, Interrogation, Torture, Hypothermia, Hair-pulling, Poison, Monsters, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Hallucinations, Platonic Cuddling, Episode: s05e04 Kral Zera, Explosions, Broken Bones, Self-Hatred, Scars, Whipping, Stitches, Vomiting, Drowning, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Quantum Abyss (Voltron), Nightmares, Gunshot Wounds, Sacrifice
read it on the AO3 at Whumptober 2k19 Collection
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ao3feed-queliot · 5 years ago
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And darling, where is my head?
by Tracy_Winter
Eliot is sure that Quentin is not real. Until he isn't.
Words: 938, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 15 of Matys Whumptober 2019
Fandoms: The Magicians (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Quentin Coldwater, Eliot Waugh
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Additional Tags: Whumptober 2019, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Tears, Tear Stained, Spoilers for Season 4, the magicians spoilers, Fix-It of Sorts, unbury your gays 2k19, The whump happened in the show, i don't know what this is, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, No Beta We Die Like Men - Freeform
read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/21217070
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twofacedbelief · 5 years ago
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Ao3 Links: WhumpTober series Local Cryptids Belief/Deception
Day 14: Tear-stained Warnings: Patton’s black-and-white thinking
Patton watches with a confused smile as Remus tackles Deceit and Virgil into a hug. He doesn’t understand why Deceit would have made them forget that he used to be one of them, used to be good. Why would anyone abandon that? And for what? Remus? That he’s no longer scared of the green creativity doesn’t mean that he has to like or even accept him; his younger self had had the right idea when he sent Remus away. The things that Remus makes Thomas think of are still bad even if Thomas is too good to act on them. The world was so much easier when you could sort things into good and bad. Deceit kept trying to blur that line and it infuriated him.
It had been so good when Virgil wanted nothing to do with the lying side, but with the reveal, something had changed, and Patton has no idea what because he can’t remember. It frustrates him to be left out like this, especially when it concerns the balance of good and bad in Thomas. At least he’s not alone in not knowing; Logan has no memories of the so-called Belief either. Had it only been King that recognized Deceit as such, he would have called it suspicious. He still thinks it’s strange, but Virgil remembers, and Roman… actually, he’s not sure what’s going on with the prince.
Roman has been sitting on the floor since King unfused, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes seemingly stuck on Deceit. The unfortunate group hug has ended, but Remus is clinging to Virgil, and Virgil and Deceit are quietly talking. Thomas is standing with them, probably getting filled in on what’s going on if he were to guess. Patton could interrupt, or continue theorising with Logan… or he could go question Roman. Being fused with Remus for so long couldn’t possibly have done him any good.
“Hey, kiddo,” Patton says as he joins Roman on the floor. “You seem a bit floored by everything that’s going on.”
Roman snorts at the pun. It’s first now that Patton notices the redness lingering in his eyes, and how his cheeks have been stained by tears.
“What happened?” he asks softly, reaching out to wipe away tears that have already dried.
“I don’t know how to explain, padre,” Roman sighs. He hasn’t looked away from Deceit even once. “When we were King… We were a completely new person, with his own memories and emotions. And now I’m Roman, but I have those memories, and Remus’ memories, on top of my own. It’s confusing.”
“What’s confusing?”
“Feelings,” Roman complains, and finally turns away from Deceit to meet his eyes. Patton smiles patiently at him. “King loves him, and Remus loves him, and I don’t know what I feel. When he was just Deceit, it was easy to declare him a dark side, but now I have memories of who he was before, and there’s this feeling like he used to be important to me. Every time I try to remember what it was like after the split, there’s this feeling like I’ve forgotten someone and I just know that it must be Deceit. It’s like having a puzzle piece and not finding where it fits even if I know that it belongs.”
“Just because they love them, doesn’t mean that you have to.” Patton points out. It’s the only part of what Roman said that he really understood.
“And I don’t, because I don’t know who he is now, I just think I might know what he used to be,” Roman elaborates. “But I think I could. Love him, that is.”
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number1120 · 5 years ago
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24: Hidden Injury
*Trying something new*
He left.
He left again and again, over and over--and James was somehow okay with this. This was a game, after all. James would wait for him and his new story to tell; Jackie is always the creative one. He would come home, tell his story, and James would take it like candy on Halloween. James was fine with him going in and out of his life, but forgetting his birthday, dates, or just being there... James was hurting.
Of course, he never showed it to him. He never told him about the countless nights he cried himself to sleep. He never told Jackie that he felt uncomfortable when he holds his hand. He never said a word when he forced a smile across the dinner table or to let Jackie kiss his neck only to leave in the morning, not facing the aftermath. Of course, he kept it hidden from everyone because he didn’t want to be a burden for his dear friends. He didn’t want to be responsible for making them feel gloomy. James stayed the happy one instead because it’s his role, his part, to play on stage for everyone to see. He is a puppet for his own show. If he messes up or shows sadness, it’s his fault and he balls up in his own self-hate that Anti never makes. 
The stage is set, the parts given, and a puppet he acted.
Jackie came home, a new story came out of his mouth, and James forced a happy, forgiving smile to hide his anger. He only showed his compassionate smile and a gentle kiss. He wanted to show how broken and damaged he feels, but he wears a mask for his role, and he has to fulfill it. Jackie kissed him on the head, and it took everything in James not to push him away. They went to bed together and James had to let Jackie hold him. James... James doesn’t like it when people touch him.
At least Jackie’s happy, he thinks as he held a shaky breath. I can’t break that smile of his.
He stays silent and still as he listened to the broken glass in his mind, hurting inside, holding himself by his own strings. He has no master, the puppet, he has himself and the hurt tucked underneath, the pain no one ever seen. This, all of this, from the play to the stage to the acting to the pretending joy on his face, was his world. 
And the puppet plays it so well, so why leave?
He never left.
Puppet. A Happy Puppet. His Own Puppet.
@10th-no-name-person
****************
This is called me opening up through writing. My therapist wanted me to try this and see how everyone reacts to it. She says this is the best way of me dealing with my emotions because it’s hard for me to express them without feeling guilt. So, with that being said:
Asks are open.
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arwenride · 5 years ago
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For the recovery prompt
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ao3feed-chicagofire · 5 years ago
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Whumptober 2019
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2IR5KJy
by headinthecloudsgirl
Fills for the whumptober 2k19 \o/
Basically my perfect justification for hurting Casey :D
Words: 2971, Chapters: 5/31, Language: English
Fandoms: Chicago Fire
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Matthew Casey, Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett, Christopher Herrmann
Additional Tags: Whumptober, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2IR5KJy
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crowsent · 5 years ago
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when i post the whumptober 2k19 fics into ao3 do i post them individually as separate stories or do i post them as a single work with multiple chapters????????????
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