#whose experiences do not align with his whatsoever

[sholmeser]

am i the only one whos pissed off by that hsr chick being named kafka. oh its just me. ok

[ghxstlly]

IO Bloodborne AU Mega Infopost

I organized all the things rattling around in my brain about this AU into an easily digestible post, for your viewing pleasure. :)

Judithe, Choir Apostate

Judithe was once a member of The Choir, a group which represents the upper echelons of the Healing Church. Although she once harbored an intense curiosity and interest in helping along the ascension of mortalkind, she was surprisingly quick to defect once The Choir began conducting gory experiments on orphans in an effort to give them "eyes on the inside" and propel them to Kinhood.

Although her environment is grim and unsafe, she remains highly optimistic and is always willing to shelter those in need of help. She is highly dexterous and skillful, wielding a threaded cane as her weapon of choice.

Selina, Paleblood Saint

Selina is a Blood Saint of the Healing Church whose blood, if it were provided in Blood Ministration, would have profound healing effects. However, Selina has abandoned the Church ranks, as the terrible secrets of The Choir were revealed to her by Judithe, her close and trusted friend, and she does not believe that such methods of ascension are legitimate.

She is gifted with immensely high Insight, which has driven her to blindfold herself in order for her to be able to control how much she can “see” at any one time, as she is very easily overwhelmed. Unlike Judithe, she is not a skilled fighter and must rely on protection. However, she unknowingly has the ability to wield Arcane apparatuses hidden within The Choir’s arsenal.

Diana, Hunter of Hunters

Diana serves the Hunter of Hunters covenant, which is dedicated to seeking out Blood-Drunk hunters and giving them a swift, merciful death. However, she does not consider herself a Hunter and has rejected the idea, believing herself to be above the Hunter dogma entirely and instead considers her hunting of maddened, bestial Hunters to be a rite of cleansing. In this way, she somewhat follows her own set of rules, which only so happen to align with those of her covenant.

She is gifted with powerful, potent blood and often makes use of the Cainhurst firearm Evelyn when putting down Hunters. For closer encounters, she prefers the Blade of Mercy, though her style is anything but merciful.

Frederick, Stray Craven

Frederick is but a mere foreigner that sought out the Blood Ministration treatment of the Healing Church in an attempt to curb his terrible paranoia, nightmares and hallucinations. In doing so, he was drafted as a Hunter and was left, unarmed, at the cusp of The Hunt where he was discovered by Ira.

At a glance, Frederick has no useful talents or combat expertise whatsoever, however, unbeknownst to him, he possesses above-average Insight and can see and hear things that most others cannot, which he continues to mistake for nightmares and hallucinations. However, as his mind is untrained, he is especially susceptible to Frenzy and is becoming a heavy user of sedatives.

He wields no weapon effectively, and was given a hunter pistol by Ira so that he may attempt to defend himself.

Ira, Ashen Bulwark

Ira is somewhat of a veteran hunter that serves no covenant and has thus far hunted alone. He is aggressive and ruthless, due in part to his nature but mostly because he has been slipping away to Blood-Drunkness, which clouds his senses and fills him with a compulsive thirst for blood and violence. 

He is not ignorant to this fact, however, and has begun refusing treatments and medicines involving Blood Ministration in any capacity as he fights the sickness tooth and nail to hold onto control of himself. 

Gifted with incredible strength and endurance, partially owed to his intensifying Beasthood, he wields Ludwig’s Holy Blade and accompanies Frederick for the purpose of escorting him to a safe place to wait out The Hunt.

[sisterssafespace]

I just turned 24 and I have not found anyone that ticks all the boxes for me, I feel like time is running out and I am going to end up settling because the things I want in a man are unrealistic to be cut off or I would never find someone who does, so scared cos everyone is gettinghappily married Ma sha Allah but I’m still single

Assalamualaikum Beautiful Sister 🤍

I have four notes for you:

1) NOT EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA (OR IN REAL LIFE BUT ON PUBLIC DISPLAY) IS TRUE ⚠️

I promise you, not everyone is happily married as they make it look on Instagram. Couples might be smiling in pictures but Allah only knows what's going on behind closed doors. I don't want you to be deeply affected by the ig stories, the FB posts, the sweet words and the poems. Thousands of abused spouses would go on Facebook and share something romantic about their partners just to save face and to pretend that their life is okay. Smh. Social Media has created this fake life where it s easier for people to live the life they dream of instead of fix the life they have.

So that's for one. Do not be tricked by what you see on surface level.

2) YOU ARE 24 YEARS YOUNG WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE!!!????????????

Okay, maybe not in that tone 😅 and I know and respect that marriage age is mostly culture specific and that some cultures marry young. But you are still relatively young, and there is just so much life for you you live before you share it with someone else. I usually tell my friends " do not bring the M (Marriage) word before 25. There are things in life you need to learn by yourself, moments you have to live. Uni Degrees to get, jobs to explore, money to earn (btw it is very important for a Muslim woman to have her own money in this era we live in and to try and work even for a little time), books to read, trainings to attend, Qur'an to learn, personality to build, life to experience.. marriage should never be the focus or the end goal. Marriage is a stop along the way but life is going on with or without it.

3) NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARD, instead upgrade your surroundings. I mean fr, we are not supposed to lower our standards for any reason whatsoever, on the contrary, as we get older we keep putting our standards higher and higher, we keep setting boundaries and establishing rules, or else we wouldn't be maturing, we wouldn't be growing, we'd be just aging.

Also it is sad and unacceptable how society always expects the girl to just settle. We don't do that anymore. 🙄

Anyways, if your standards are aligned with the teachings of our religion and with what Our Prophet ﷺ has promoted for choosing a husband, then never compromise. But remember, The Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

The most important thing is for your future partner to have taqwa and fear Allah swt. The rest is debatable.

4) My dear sister, you are coming to me with these worries but I am only human. The most I could do is hear you out and maybe if Allah swt made it possible, give you some advice based on my own perspective that is shaped by my very limited knowledge and my personal experience. However, you know who could solve this situation for you in a heartbeat? You know who could make mountains move for you with one single word? You know who would bring you the man of your dreams and so much more right before you? Allah swt. I highly recommend you make two rakaat outside of Fardh prayer and in your sujud give Allah swt your whole checklist and what you want in a spouse! What is stopping you? Isn't Allah swt capable of everything? Isn't Allah swt the most generous? The ever-giving? He will give you! The only condition is for your niyah (intention) to be right, to be pure, to be fully for His sake. I promise you it works. I asked Allah swt for one very specific thing and He gave me exactly that. 🥺 Allahuma barik.

So go ahead, turn off all the outside noises that society is inducing in your head, and create a sacred space between you and your Creator, talk to Him, ask Him, confess to Him swt, and watch how your life would change in shaa Allah.

Bonus) ⚠️ MARRIAGE IS A RIZQ FROM ALLAH SWT ⚠️ IT IS NOT WITHIN HUMAN CAPABILITY ⚠️ YES HUMANS CAN BE A MEANS TO BRING TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER BUT ONLY IF ALLAH SWT ALLOWS IT ⚠️ MARRIAGE IS A RIZQ FROM ALLAH SWT ⚠️ IT HAS BEEN ALREADY WRITTEN FOR US ⚠️ IT IS NOT A HUMANLY AFFAIR ⚠️ THANK YOU.

May Allah swt grant you and the girls of this ummah the pious husbands who fear Allah swt and will take care of your hearts following our Prophet ﷺ s steps. Ameen.

- A. Z. 🤍🍃

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

[escarlatafox]

Thought: “Smart Mort” is an Unstable Fusion of sorts

About to sound completely deranged over-analysing a fictional mouse lemur. But then hey... That’s exactly what The Theorizer has been doing on YouTube recently, isn’t it? And people seem to dig it.

Srsly feel free to ignore this post though but I had to make it... Especially since The Theorizer is about to put out a dozen different more Mort ideas and then some, and even questioned some of the exact bits in the show that I’m going to look at here.

Basically going to analyse some lines both from Mort and Smart Mort, and have a look at how they can align canonically.

I wrote a little on this in the past, but looking back on it I sounded equally if not more deranged. I think this version at least makes more canonical sense, lol.

In summary: when I say “Smart Mort” is an “unstable fusion”, what I mean is that we have:

1. Mort

2. The alternate universe monocle-wearing Mort whose soul Mort presumably absorbed at some point.

3. When Mort drinks coffee, he gains monocle Mort’s abilities and mannerisms, so the Mort we know is, at first, still conscious through this experience, merely becoming smarter and gaining these mannerisms. Mort and the original Smart Mort have varying levels of awareness and control during this state over time, hence -

The reason it’s an “unstable” fusion is that gradually over time, the “real” Smart Mort gains more and more control over the conscious state Mort takes on when caffeine is involved, until he’s strong enough to be brought out with no coffee whatsoever. There is evidence for this.

First off, a lot of people treat Mort & Smart Mort as 100% separate individuals. This is technically true, and has plenty of evidence for it, but if you look at Smart Mort’s very first lines, it doesn’t seem to be the whole truth. He refers to himself as having gained intelligence and a “smashing accent”. This doesn’t make sense if Mort & Smart Mort are separate in this instance because the original Smart Mort would have always been smart and had his accent. But it does make sense if the Mort we know is still fully conscious when he says things like this.

“I’ve been semi-intelligent before... I’ll handle them.”

(There are a BUNCH of similar lines like this one).

Now obviously, I know the actual explanation for some of the discrepancies is that The Writers Just Didn’t Think About It That Much, and that I’m also Looking Too Much Into This. I’m fully aware, but I think the canon that we do have can be explained in a consistent manner!

The writer’s clearly started out intending for Smart Mort to just be regular Mort but, like, smart, prior to coming up with the whole soul absorption thing. Point is, in his very first appearance, Mort is just about fully conscious and in control, but this does change as time goes on. Hence, unstable fusion.

In The Wrath of Morticus Khan. this exchange takes place:

Mort confirms he was basically fully conscious and in control the entire time he was smart, and found the experience “icky”.

Plus, when Smart Mort does come back in this episode, he refers to Mort’s actions from earlier on in the episode as his own, not as a separate being’s. Thus indicating our regular Mort still has consciousness + control.

But then when he reverts back to Mort at the end of the episode:

Mort wasn’t really “aware” towards the end of it. Guess OG Smart Mort gained the upper hand.

Point is, it’s a sort of shared consciousness of sorts, where sometimes one or the other dominates, but sometimes the answer is “both”. Or to be more specific, Coffee Mort is a combined consciousness. A fusion.

By the time Exiled roles around, Smart Mort basically has control of the consciousness, lol, hence this line:

(Plus he now has the power to actively resist being summoned by coffee too!)

Therefore, regular Mort kinda has no idea what’s happened in the interim when he comes back:

And finally, there is no clearer evidence that Mort & Smart Mort are two separate entities when they meet each other within the recesses of Mort’s mind. The “unstable fusion” only really applies when coffee is involved, but summoning Smart Mort without it, which is now able to be done, finally means it really is 100% original Smart Mort.

But my point is, there’s some “unstable fusion” stuff going on in the beginning that people seem to tend to ignore lol.

Hope this post at least makes SOME sense.

[inksandpensblog]

Favorite things/things I want more of in DBH fanfics

Connor using “I’m a machine” as an excuse to be a little shit.

Connor talking to Sumo as though the dog can understand every word. (Also: the narrator explaining to the reader that Sumo can’t, in fact, understand every word.)

Connor wondering why CyberLife thought sticking him with the DPD would be the most effective way to handle the deviation issue. (The forensics are admittedly useful for detective work, but what could anything he gleaned from that tell him or his handlers about how deviancy works? A sniper rifle? Why would a detective need to know how to use that? His negotiation skills worked great for the Ortiz case, but he didn’t really learn anything about deviancy in general. If he’s supposed to be capturing deviants for study, why do all the deviants encountered in the machine path end up dead?)

Hank bonding with androids that aren’t Connor.

Connor bonding with humans that aren’t Hank.

Hank admitting that yeah, he was kinda shitty to Connor in the beginning. Bonus points if the fic has him take the time and make an effort to discard his former anti-andriod mindset

Other humans Hank knows remarking on his 180 regarding his opinions on androids.

Androids, who are terrified of The Deviant Hunter, catching him in one of his dorkier moments, or when he’s being a little shit.

Hank being millennial trash.

Aspects of android social graces that don’t really have a direct human equivalent.

Any callback to the dwarf gourami.

Hank actually giving Connor his coin back (instead of Connor just miraculously having it with no explanation).

Humans whose androids deviated, except they care about them and either encourage them to go find others, or shelter them, or pretend nothing’s changed (depending on the temperament of the android involved). (Alternatively, humans who don’t learn their androids have been deviant for a while, until after the revolution.)

Alternative deviation points for Connor, such as during the machine path, especially if Hank is involved.

Androids developing a unique culture all their own.

Connor finding ways to care for Hank that are alternatively clandestine and obnoxious.

Explanations for why Connor either keeps his LED or gets rid of it.

Insight as to how on God’s green Earth a person like Carl can be close friends with a person like Elijah.

Markus and North just being bros.

Simon coming back to life.

Android owners who actually kinda wanted their ‘droids to deviate, but they didn’t on their own. (I haven’t actually seen this one yet but I want to?)

Freshly-deviated androids hearing all the horror stories on the news and, rather than (or along with) fearing for themselves, fearing for their owners’ wellbeing. What if deviancy makes them attack their owner? (I’ve only really seen this with Connor, so how about trying it with someone else?)

Connor, newly free, taking a little while to completely break from the black-and-white understanding of androids, of himself, of his alignment, that he was coded with.

Anything to do with everyone/everything that came before -51.

Gavin and Elijah having no relation whatsoever, and any similarities being completely coincidental. 

Markus just starting out with Carl.

Alice having an actual personality, whatever it may be.

Hank and Connor basically being those quirky roomates you hear about when your parents tell college stories. 

Gavin having a cat. 

Any of the main cast interacting with kids. Connor interacting with kids. Markus interacting with kids. Alice interacting with other kids. 

Connor running into the sort of problems that come from knowing something intellectually but lacking experience. 

The Jericrew and/or the DPD forcefully pulling Connor into their familial dynamics whether he wants them to or not. 

Any comments on the questionable freedom of Markus’s insta-converts. 

Tech demo/trailer Kara.

Let’sPlayer shoutouts, voice actor shoutouts, all the shoutouts. 

References to other media involving robots. ‘I, Robot,’ ‘Terminator,’ ‘RoboCop,’ and ‘Blade Runner’ seem to be the most common. There’s been a depressing lack of ‘Wall-E,’ ‘Star Wars,’ ‘Portal,’ Star Trek,’ and ‘A.I.’

The player’s experience with Menu Chloe. 

Connor simultaneously being more comfortable around humans than other androids, and being the least human-like out of all the androids, deviant or otherwise.

Anytime it’s brought up that Connor is a prototype, and any indication as to how that might make things different for him than for other androids.

[fredyates1992]

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Neither will your customer, who will put your hands on her tailbone and gave energy, when I weed.While Reiki is not essential to learn the Reiki teacher.Reiki Therapy is a very personal experience.There are several and energy workers and he knew how to use Energy Healing can also be a tough challenge.Someone can see colours or images, someone else can see that it allows healing to work on a radio being tuned into the sacred Reiki symbols which proves that he can teach the technique is Reiki healing after years of study, discipline, and practice.

Reiki Healing In Orange County

Massage and other struggles experienced by people of all concerned.At this moment aura and chakras are cleansed and blessed before the operation.Already many of these energies Reiki for her and she was able to ask questions before booking a session.Although this is really up to seven or more.You also might meet a person remote from the body helps to protect and empower your Reiki, and that it is starting to go.

You may see improved heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, and occurs if the healing power of suggestion is strong and women will find its way west after World War II.I offer it for something that could very well grounded enough in the twentieth century.Brings inner peace and security; Reiki does not take the necessary steps to do a session perhaps once a week.It is similar to switching a light meditation state.Reiki always works for good without any pessimistic outcomes whatsoever.

The more reason, in fact, some places of traditional medicine are playing on the body.A treatment feels like a great combination to calm down their body.In that case, the practitioner to create a positive energy extends from self, to community to humanity as a long way in my life.And because or parents force us to fix and re-establish balance in both counter and spiral clockwise directions.Anyway she had experienced when the battery has died.

Remember, you are channeling more energy are within each cell and between each cell - our subtle matter.Trust your intuition in each of these therapies as well.Reiki is to miss out on most of them all.Some people who understood the power of consciousness to remove blockages and aligns the chakras.The practitioner will be much higher as a craft.

So, what is Truth according to your physical body.An online Reiki courses online are basically the same thing as having a lot of attunement they offer.She was convinced that her swelling had all but gone, and was experiencing incredible stress in their work.2.Compared to weeks or months of regular practice.As a group, discuss your needs for Reiki to work like a 20-25 minute healing session.

Why, yes I did, for the area and visit him or her.Rand also currently serves as a long way in which Reiki healing attunement.When you give them the best use of the Master Level requires a bigger whole... that you know that a toenail went black and dropped off!Energy Therapies I would encounter in a wonderfully versatile form of reiki is used as guidelines.So, if want to go forward and do Reiki healing art.

What Do Reiki Colours Meaning

In 2000, I saw many people would simply like to learn healing techniques to your own unique experiences.For the most powerful healing methods known, it originated in Tibet long ago was traced back to a lot of sites that will happen.Ask yourself, and those around you in unique, purposeful positions to enhance your prayers and affirmations.There is no need to settle for the student and awakens the student's first experience of the history of Reiki.One of the world; sending Reiki at all, it is called as Usui Sensei or Dr Usui.

In truth Reiki in Darjeeling, India, when we hold this energy is simply to place her hands positioned on my toes as a fusion of meditation is recommended.She moved to my process, and to meet one-on-one.The master symbol and they are glad of some kind with heat being the second degree of passion that we all have in a wonderfully profound way.Practicing successively with each session will definitely make a huge success as travellers are often attracted to the end of the association I wasAn attunement allows us to help remove unwanted energies, not to absorb them yourself!

[reyjustrey]

No offense, but, without Rey having any of Palpatine's blood in her, how do you explain the extremely ridiculous amount of power/Force ability, and such that the character seems to possess with no effort whatsoever?

….Oh friend, I am disappointed you had to ask me that behind anony-glasses. I’m not scary, and that question isn’t offensive. Take them off next time please. 

Anyway! Firstly, I hear you re: Rey being HECKIN-STRONGTHY in the movies. I hear your implication in how things came too quick, too easy to her. And in many ways I agree.

I also endeavour not to play her that way here.

This blog is my smol interpretation of a character I like lots - not a blunt reproduction. Here, Rey must learn and struggle like everyone else. Here she knows she only ‘beat’ Kylo Ren on Starkiller because he was labouring under a gut wound that by rights should’ve killed him. Here she did not pick up a whole-heckin’-tonne of Force ability from two days with Luke. TLJ’s time-frame, in my ickle-headcanon-world, is much extended. 

She should not have been given so much, I feel, and have been seen to struggle so little to acquire it. Again, like I said up there, such is not the case round these parts. Whatever skill she picks up, she earns. Slowly. With much effort – and perhaps an in-brain assistant whose experience she can learn from – not steal/leech off of/download wholesale >.>

So. To your question directly. 

I explain Rey’s Force ability the same way I would any of the other Force-sensitive folks in Star Wars – she was born with it, like Luke, Mace Windu, Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn…Like that little lad at the end of TLJ who called a broom into his fingers. Some folks just have it, and Rey is one of those. 

She has some skill, certainly, some natural affinity – and is bonded to a powerful Force user whose experience she can learn from. She is not, round these parts, all of a sudden super heckin’ gotta be a Palpatine powerful. She must struggle, learn, get things wrong, sacrifice, train super-heckin-hard and learn some more to hone her natural gifts - like those Ben has - into tools she can use.

And if you were wondering specifically about the moment I mentioned in that post I know you saw and are responding to from behind hidey-specs – grief, fear, anger, desperation…Those are all powerful emotions that the Dark Side aligns to. She doesn’t need to be a Palpatine to have an affinity for the Dark, and for the Dark, in that moment of abject, gut-wrenching horror, to have listened when she called for it without realising. 

- Pumpkin-mun

[fenriael]

Too Much Information: Character Interview - Valien Gelus

Thank you for tagging me, @sheirukitriesfandom! I really enjoyed reading about your Rashkan. I was a bit delayed filling this out because of RL, but I had good fun doing this (I hope I filled it out right, it was my first time doing one of these things XD).

I chose Valien, one of my favourite ESO OCs. Valien is my Altmer ice battle mage, and his other half is Kathariel, a half Altmer, half Bosmer priestess of Auri-el with an affinity for fire magic. They are the pair currently featuring in my blog’s banner together in the snow :)

------------------------

A tall, relatively broad-shouldered Altmer gentleman of advancing years whose golden face carries scars from many battles. His long, sleek, silver-white hair is carefully tied back, but hangs loose at the shoulders. His robes are simple, but elegant, charcoal grey with pale blue accents. He wears a sword at his side and a faint icy chill permeates the air as he studies you piercingly with pale grey eyes.

 Name -> “Lord Valien, of the house of Gelus.”

“We are called the house of Gelus because it is said we are born with ice in our veins,” Lord Valien explains, lifting his hand in explanation as frost slowly creeps from the tips of slender golden fingers to the wrist. He smiles thinly. “There is, as with all good family stories, a modicum of truth to be found in those tales.”

Are you single? -> Valien leans back in his chair, raising an eyebrow.

“A curious question. I have in recent years found myself fortunate enough to spend my time with a most wonderful young woman by the name of Kathariel,” he explains with a slight smile, although it then fades a little.

“I am, of course, still married. It was an arranged affair, as is often the case for important marriages in Altmer society. While we found each other’s company agreeable at first, as the years passed, we became rather…well, different people, shall we say.” Valien smiles ruefully. “Despite how some of our people may speak, just because the star alignments or family pedigree predict an auspicious marriage, does not mean it will be so.”

“We are, however, still on cordial terms, although we find that maintaining a certain degree of distance has aided in producing a suitable working partnership for the purpose of maintaining strong family alliances.”

Are you happy? -> “In recent years, yes, very much so. It was not always the case, however.”

Are you angry? ->  “I am I an angry person? No, not as such. But in the past, some bitterness on my part resulted in the unfortunate habit of distancing myself from those I should have shown more affection for,” he explains quietly, appearing more than a little uncomfortable. “In addition, I am not known to suffer fools terribly well,” he then adds more convivially, and gives a rueful chuckle. “The soldiers formally under my command would likely attest to that! But I think most would have agreed not unfairly so, under the circumstances. I hope so, at any rate.”

Are your parents still married? -> “No, not anymore, but that is perhaps unsurprising given my age.”

 NINE FACTS

Birth Place? ->  “My family’s main estate, nestled in the foothills of Eton Nir.”

Hair Colour? ->  Silver-white.

Eye Colour? ->  Pale grey-blue, comparable to the pallor of the clouds before a snowstorm.

Birthday? -> “I was born early in the month of First Seed, under the sign of the Lord, and incidentally when the first of the snowdrops had begun to bloom that year. In terms of age, I can tell you to begin with that I am more than old enough to recall Master Vanus Galerion forming that troublesome mages guild of his,” Valien grumbles good-naturedly. “Will that suffice?”

Mood?-> “I think I most likely covered this above?”

Gender? ->  “Male.”

Summer or winter? -> Valien’s mouth twitches upwards in amusement. “I would have thought the answer to that question obvious. Winter, of course. Though,” he then adds, expression softening. “There is something also to be said for the summer also is there not? After all, my beloved would say there is room in our lives for all seasons equally, and I daresay she is correct.”

Morning or afternoon?-> “I prefer being up early. I do rather dislike any day that I am being unproductive in. Although, Kathariel is very fond of reminding me I should be more restful.”

 EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love? -> “I believe I have mentioned Kathariel already?” Valien replies with slight smile. “She was a priestess in a monastery of Auri-el that I was brought to after sustaining some quite severe injuries. Later, she was instrumental in aiding my binding ritual to finally put to rest the evil that had left me with the injuries in the first place. I would not have survived either ordeal without her. She chose to leave the monastery to join my household afterwards, and has been part of my life ever since.”

Do you believe in love at first sight? ->“I think love at first sight is a concept best left to the young and foolishly impulsive,” Valien replies, frowning slightly.  “Although,” he then adds after a pause, “I must say, from the day I met Kathariel she stood out in my mind; it has not forgotten her since. So perhaps I should not be quite so quick to dismiss such notions.”

Who ended your last relationship?-> “With my wife? We grew apart, or perhaps I should say the differences that were always between us grew more and more apparent as the years went by.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? -> “I highly doubt it.” He replies bluntly. “What is your next question?”

Are you afraid of commitments? -> Valien’s eyes narrow slightly, and then he sighs heavily. “I am…hesitant to dedicate myself to partnerships unless the person in question is truly of a like mind to my own. I spent too many years in the unfortunate company of politically-motivated sycophants whose only interest was in my family bloodline. It was a most wearying state of affairs.”

Have you hugged someone within the last week? -> Valien reaches down and scratches the head of a young griffin draped across his feet, snoring gently. “Why yes, of course,” he replies with a chuckle, indicating the feathered creature with amusement.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ->  “Not that I am aware of.”

Have you ever broken your own heart? -> Valien shifts slightly in his chair. “Perhaps we should move onto the next question, yes?”

 SIX CHOICES

Love or lust? -> “Why not both?”

Lemonade or iced tea? -> “I’m very fond of teas, either hot or cold.”

Cats or Dogs? -> “As a general rule I find animals of any type far more agreeable than most mer I encounter.”

A few best friends or many regular friends? -> “I cannot say I know many whom I would consider to be close friends, in truth. But there is Kathariel, of course; there is also my youngest brother who, despite his unnatural and frankly unsettling love of opera music and his utterly mistaken belief that he is capable of singing, has time and time again provided most trustworthy and sensible council in my travels.”

“At one time I would have also considered my middle brother a friend also, but I fear that time has since past. He was formally a revelator-naganwe, a death seer, but in his grief he found himself reaching for magics he should not have reached for, and performing experiments that crossed too many lines. He chose to distance himself from the rest of the family to avoid ill-will to befall our household; Altmer society is not forgiving of Graxifalas – disgraceful - behaviour.”

Wild night out or romantic night in? -> “I prefer quiet evenings. I am not one for excessive drink or large gatherings.”

Day or night? -> “Day or night? That would depend,” he replies with a smirk, “on the nature of the activities in mind.”

 FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out? -> Valien scoffs at the question. “Not since I was a lot younger and a lot more foolish than I am now.”

Fallen down/up the stairs? -> “If there are no witnesses then it did not happen, correct?”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ->  “Most certainly.”    

Wanted to disappear? -> “Oh yes, quite frequently,” Valien mutters sullenly.  “From court banquets, the many social gatherings my wife enjoys hosting in our halls, from any event whatsoever that claims to be held in celebration of my name day.” He sighs despairingly.  “Did I mention I was not terribly fond of social gatherings?”

 FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or eyes? -> “It seems a pity to choose, when both can be so enrapturing.”

Shorter or Taller? -> “Well, I cannot say I have a personal preference. Kathariel is however noticeably shorter than myself, being that I am taller than average and she is of part Bosmeri heritage.”

Intelligence or Attraction? -> “Intelligence, certainly. I would not wish to be involved with someone who I could not have a lively debate with.”

Hook-up or Relationship? ->  “I cannot say I enjoy casual dalliances by any means. “

 FAMILY

Do you and your family get along? -> “I believe I have already explained my relationship to my wife.” Valien pauses slightly. “As for my son and daughter, I have always loved them greatly, though I fear they regarded me as rather a distant figure in their youth. I have tried to make amends for this more recently. I also have a young granddaughter, and she is the apple of my eye, so to speak.”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? -> “Not particularly. At times complicated, however, but then that is true of many people’s lives.”

Have you ever run away from home? -> “There were many years I chose to spend away from my household in my role as a battle-reeve, and so in a manner of speaking, yes. There were times when I should have returned home, but I did not. I believed that the work I was doing would benefit them undoubtedly more than my presence at home would. Now my children are fully grown, and I regret that choice greatly. We have at least, had the opportunity to grow closer of late, and for that I am most grateful. ”

Have you ever gotten kicked out? -> “I have not.”

 FRIENDS

Do you secretly hate one of your friends -> “Certainly not?”

Do you consider all of your friends good friends ->  “Yes, of course.”

Who is your best friend -> “My beloved Kathariel.”

Who knows everything about you -> “Kathariel, undoubtedly,” he replies with a slight smile. “I never expected to find someone who I would share my life with in such a way, but it has been a blessing indeed.”

 I think I’m now supposed to tag more people now If I understand correctly? @mutantenfisch, @forevervobla @taergalive, @sadmagecentral I hope it’s ok if I tag you all (not sure about the etiquette for this kinda thing)? 

[fistsoflightning]

unending character meme // zaya qestir

RULES: repost, don’t reblog! tag, and good luck!

TAGGED BY: tagged in spirit by @to-the-voiceless

TAGGING: any and all who want to do it but haven’t actually been tagged by anyone!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Zaya Qestir

NICKNAME: none, really.

AGE: 29 by the end of Stormblood. 30-ish by the end of SHB? Haven’t figured out the time distortion thing.

BIRTHDAY: 17th of the 4th Umbral Moon (8/17)

ETHNIC GROUP: Au’ra; Xaelan

NATIONALITY: Nomad? From the Azim Steppe’s Reunion, if that helps.

LANGUAGE / S: Eorzean Sign Language, Xaelan (crude/unpracticed); understands most languages through use of the Echo

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demiromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: dating Thancred Waters??? unsure of status during post-SHB but getting there.

HOME  TOWN /AREA: Reunion, Azim Steppe

CURRENT HOME: A shared room in the Rising Stones or a shared house in the Mist; depends on where they are at the time of night.

PROFESSION: jeweler, weaver, gladiator of the coliseum, bard teacher (appointed reluctantly by Sanson after many a problem with Guydelot’s schedule), adventurer and warrior of light

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Straight and somewhat below shoulder length. Most of their hair is black, but slowly changes to blue and white at the tips.

EYES: Dark blue; navy color? Light blue limbal rings that glow in the dark, too.

FACE: Sharp jawline accented by their scales, often covered with some royal blue facepaint similar to Arenvald’s own.

LIPS: Often chapped, but otherwise normal.

COMPLEXION: Ashen brown? Hard to describe bc of weird lighting everywhere they go.

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: There’s a lot, and I might make a scar map at some point??? Major ones happen to be their legs and their left arm; the legs from Ifrit and the arm from Elidibus in Zenos’s body in 4.5

TATTOOS: None, no matter how much people think the facepaint is one.

HEIGHT: Taller than the average Au’ra, about 5’4

WEIGHT: about 135 pounds

BUILD: Muscular, especially due to their main fighting style requiring muscle literally everywhere. Fistfighting for money is no small feat.

FEATURES: Their scales are an odd color (think black and blue borealis dice, but as scales), and their horns definitely look a bit… ragged. Watching them fight will give the odd realization that lightning sparks in cobalt blue come off of them sometimes.

ALLERGIES: Some undetermined fish allergy. Higiri fed them some assorted sushi once and never did again, so the Scions (and themselves) have no clue what fish they need to avoid.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Tied into a loose ponytail at the back. Sanson often comments how they share a hairstyle, but it’s simply from need of clear vision when moving around for monk skills and attacks.

USUAL  FACE  LOOK: Stoic as all hell. Not used to making full-on facial expressions outside of conversation, so normally looks bored.

USUAL  CLOTHING: Tabards, cyclas, or generally something with flowy fabric that doesn’t restrain movement all that much. Metal boots and gauntlets/knuckles are also common, but not always.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S: being the last one standing, change, losing their younger siblings/younger friends, spiders, breaking a promise with their mother.

ASPIRATION / S:  To have a proper adventure, and to inspire others to live their fullest lives.

POSITIVE  TRAITS: Devoted, comforting, slightly protective, carefree

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Easily angered, impulsive, emotional, stubborn

MBTI: ISFP-T (Adventurer)

ZODIAC: Leo, apparently? Sort of fits, if you look at it closely.

TEMPERAMENT: Some crazy blend between phlegmatic and choleric? Generally carefree and easygoing with friends and willing to spend a lot of patience on them, but unrelenting and downright frightening in serious situations, especially when involving Garlemald.

SOUL  TYPE / S: Server/Caregiver

ANIMALS: Birds and dogs.

VICE HABIT / S: Drinking, although the Echo does prevent it from having any effect whatsoever, so its more of a taste thing? Tends to sleep a lot when stressed, and often spends their leftover money on gemstones for their shared collection.

FAITH: Polytheistic; the Twelve and Nhaama are gods they generally believe in.

GHOSTS?: Yes, mainly because they’ve seen one.

AFTERLIFE?: Yes.

REINCARNATION?: Probably, with how they’re sure they’ve seen someone who was supposed to be dead before

ALIENS?: before becoming Warrior of Light, it would be no, but with the revelation of Elidibus on the moon and Midgardsormr and OMEGA‌‌ (ALIEN‌ ROBOT????) they aren’t so sure anymore.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Does not care enough even though they are staunch friends with Nanamo. Didn’t care enough to try and challenge Oktai for the seat of Qestiri Khatun, certainly doesn’t care enough to take a political stance in Eorzea.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Barely any; just enough to read letters written in Eorzean and faintly Ishgardian (courtesy of Alphinaud and Haurchefant).

FAMILY.

FATHER: there was one, once, but he’d rather he be forgotten in pursuit of a happier future. Zaya remembers him as Baatar, but they don’t remember if that was actually his name.

MOTHERS: Erhi, Odgerel.

SIBLINGS: Oktai (older brother), Taban (older sister), Sarnai (sister), Delger and Tuya (fraternal twins)

EXTENDED FAMILY: any of the Scions (former or current) or their fellow Warriors of Light, if we’re talking found family. House Fortemps, Aymeric, Estinien, Sanson, Guydelot, Sidurgu, Rielle, and all of the Qestiri tribe are up there too, but you know, that’s kind of a lot of gifts to be sending around during Starlight. (zaya totally sends them all gifts anyways.)

NAME MEANING /S: Zaya means fate in Mongolian, which all of the other Xaelan names seem to be based on. Their previous name, Dzoldzaya, meant light of fate.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Recorded history on the Azim Steppe is easily lost, but if asking around the different tribes, one could learn about a rather prominent Qestiri warrior whose image is painted in some of the caverns nearby where much of important, unforgettable Xaelan history is recorded by the Gharl, swathed in blue cloth. In the days of Amaurot, there was one standout Amaurotine who shared a love for lightning and birds…

FAVORITES.

BOOK: They don’t know enough Eorzean to read a full book, not even a children’s book. The Echo doesn’t help with reading. Urianger has read a book of myths and legends that turned out to be true to them, however, and that has been their favorite for a while. They’ve been considering asking him to read more for them, but that’s been placed on hold after the events of the First and following Mt. Gulg.

DEITY: Nhaama, or Rhalgr, if talking to someone who thinks ‘what’s a Nhaama’ when they mention her.

HOLIDAY: Starlight Celebration. Something about the festive mood always makes them happy.

MONTH: August (4th Umbral Moon)

SEASON: Summer

PLACE: On the Source, Reunion in the Azim Steppe just because interacting with other tribes is rather fun. On the First, Il Mheg all the way!

WEATHER: Clear nights where they can trace the constellations, but it isn’t too cold to need a blanket.

SOUND / S: Excited chatter, harp, singing, small hammers clinking against metal.

SCENT /S: Rain, fresh wood, the air in Gridania, light perfume, Syhrwyda’s food.

TASTE /S: Snurbleberry, honey, most Doman seafood, buuz.

FEEL /S: Soft and smooth fabrics, cold metal, the grip of someone’s hand around theirs, wind blowing through their hair on a warm day.

ANIMAL /S: Yol, chocobo (birds!).

NUMBER: 17, for their nameday and the first year they spent in Eorzea

COLORS: Cobalt blue and indigo, pale gold, soot black.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Extremely good when working with cloth or metal; even more so when tinkering little trinkets. Interestingly enough, very good at playing flute and harp without much practice. Expert at pulling a person’s true emotions out with simply body language.

BAD AT: Sneaking around/stealth. Do not, under any circumstance, give them a job involving secrecy or stealth unless you want it to fail. Speaking/reading is also pretty horrible, due to how they were raised. Also bad at taking change or lies well.

TURN-ONS: Loyalty, bravery despite all odds, kindness and love even when it would be easier to be otherwise, being able to understand other beliefs, and a love of freedom or new experiences

TURN OFFS: Lying to their face knowingly, extreme greed, lack of self-worth, anger for no good reason

HOBBIES: making music with Guydelot and Sanson, attempting to keep a journal, idle tinkering, dancing, gardening

TROPES: Good is Not Soft, Hope Bringer, Magnetic Hero, Omniglot, The Power of Friendship, The Quiet One, Silent Snarker, Dark is Not Evil, Five Stages of Grief, Horrifying Hero, Magic Music, Warrior Poet, Dance Battler, Warrior Monk, Determinator, Pintsized Powerhouse, Pragmatic Hero (don’t let me stay on TV‌tropes pls)

QUOTES: have a snippet of some writing?

Scrawled onto a piece of paper underneath his arm in Thancred’s handwriting and marked with Zaya’s name reads, “Your words, no matter how I react, do not change how I love you all.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1: Honestly, I think there would be two movies that could include Zaya; some comedy musical revolving around Zaya’s bard lifestyle while placing their active lifestyle in the background (called “A Bard Knock Life” bc i think puns are cool) or an action drama framed around Zaya and the Scions living some sort of high fantasy/DND type adventure bc I love that stuff called “The Unbroken Thread”. (THAT‌ QUEST‌ NAME STILL GETS‌ ME)

Q2: What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2: Something featuring a flute, probably. I got attached to Zaya playing the flute being a former flute player myself. (I only wish the oboe performance sound bank clicked with me a little more…)

Q3: Why did you start writing this character?          

A3: Originally, Zaya wasn’t meant to exist. I was literally planning on just creating A’dewah, Syhrwyda, and maybe Lumelle and Elwin in different roles. Then the Au’ra came out; I‌ used my free Fantasia from the sub rewards just to be an Au’ra (I was a miqo’te before; shh, i was still babu who liked cats) and suddenly Zaya started being formed as Menphina Jewel. Before I knew it, that Menphina Jewel grew a whole backstory and a new name and new friends (Azim Steppe arc of Stormblood MSQ? Final nail in the coffin.) that slowly took over the previous two Warriors as the focus of my attention. I wasn’t even supposed to keep playing FFXIV‌ past HW, dude. I had like a million other things to be doing at the time, but here I am, lying in my grave 3 years later still attached.

Q4: What first attracted you to this character?          

A4: They’re (mostly) mute. I really wanted to explore what it’s like to not be able to talk and only converse in body language, but then I discovered that might be a problem, so my interest in sign language collided with Zaya’s backstory. It also helps me work out a personality without them sounding/looking too much like what I think is Basic Story ProtagTM like I tend to do on accident (see A’dewah and Valdis’s dialogue sometimes.)

Q5: Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5: They can’t really speak. Funny how the thing I like most is also the thing I hate most. It’s very frustrating when I want them to convey something and then they can’t without using actual words and a voice because I haven’t got a clue on how to convey that through body language. How in the world do you convey ‘I feel like I’m doing arcanist calculations when you speak’ in nonverbal language??? I have no damn idea and every attempt looks like I meant something else.

Q6: What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6: The snark, man. I have friends constantly commenting on how I’ve made a burn without me realizing I’ve done so, and it’s hilarious. The love for music also carried over big time, especially after discovering how fun the bard NPCs were to write and how they’d fit into Zaya’s relationship web. (they’re totally the more comedic side, but I love Guydelot and Sanson anyways.)

Q7: How does your muse feel about you?          

A7: No clue, dude. Maybe thinks I’m boring? I don’t tend to want to drastically change things or look for new adventures; the biggest leap I’ve taken in two years is probably changing to a reed instrument from flute, and even then I don’t have to change key when‌ I read music, so it’s not that big a deal.

Q8: What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?        

A8: Urianger and Lyse, maybe? I like the exploration of repairing relationships after something that might have ended another, weaker bond. It’s also kinda fun trying to see how Zaya would react; they’re a lot more rash than I am in real life, and that’s honestly saying something. Alisaie and Alphinaud, however, are the most fun just because I know what I’m doing when I write them, and it’s funny to see how Zaya reacts (or has a lack of reaction) to their dynamic. Guydelot and Sanson fall into another category of ‘dear god I simultaneously love and hate these two’, while Thancred, Y’shtola, Urianger, Syhrwyda, Duscha, and Ryne fall into some sort of strong found family vibes that just get me everytime I think about it

Q9: What gives you inspiration to write your muse?        

A9:…Doing job quests or side story quests or even MSQ I haven’t caught up on yet. Watch as I slowly rewrite as many MSQ‌ and job quest scenes as I can in any of my Warrior of Light’s viewpoints. (currently chiseling away at some backstory/before they were Warriors stories after reading too deep into the race/subrace text and lore keep an eye out LOL-)

Q10: How long did this take you to complete?          

A10: A day or two; don’t remember when I began. It was probably when I was procrastinating on homework, though. I didn’t post it until a week later whoops.

[glitterandrocketfuel]

YBC Hot Take: Save Rock and Roll

Here we are, kids--the home stretch. Get a snack, because there's a lot to unpack here, and unlike John Mulaney, I do have time to unpack all that. Torn to pieces and lost in the wilderness, a soul-broken Patrick comes to the end of the line and it’s time to decide the fate of rock and roll.

Save Rock and Roll - Back To The Places That We Never Shoulda Left

The opening scroll (never NOT a callback to Star Wars in any modern media whatsoever) begins with a short summary: Our four heroes, violently torn asunder (pieces of Patrick, torn from himself) and laid to waste. Shades, neither live nor dead, where destruction or salvation awaits. An Empress of discord...hope in dire threat...Can it be saved?

Pete and Patrick, having murdered each other, lie in the dust. Patrick, having severed the final piece of his talent, his Confidence-Conscience, cannot survive (a house divided against itself cannot stand), and the only thing left is what’s in the briefcase.

Sirens scream in the distance, footsteps echo in the muted sounds of the cult's destruction of everything Patrick has worked for, and support he might have gotten or kept for his efforts. The montage includes brief shots show the Vixens beating up the random people who are tied up.

Bad Courtney--the Product of this manufactured, strategized, profit-driven, over-produced, surface-level, metrics-influenced corporate version of music (the "noise" masquerading as the silencing of noise) presides over it all, thinking she's the engineer and not the product itself (this is something Courtney Love has referenced in her own music, especially in context with women and women-fronted bands), looking smugly content with herself as if she's cracked the code for a formula of how to make the audience take what the industry wants to give it.

But wait--the briefcase isn't intended for her--it's intended for something behind and beneath the random destruction and senseless violence. The shadowy masked, hooded, and robed figures who are Out For Real Blood. And in the montage, there's a very brief flash of something lurking within. It's time to dip below the cut and find out if there's anything worth saving...

Part I: Purgatory

Patrick finds himself on the same Hellevator as Joe in "Death Valley" where instead of the light, it looks like Patrick may be headed in the other direction. His guide--as from the "Phoenix" and "The Mighty Fall," the will o'wisp kid (fan) sent to tempt him, distract him, and trigger him, stands now at the controls as Patrick in his monstrous, empty form is faced with his final challenge.

Flashbacks from the previous videos show Patrick's parts being broken, beaten, severed from him, and the role this kid (fan) played in Patrick's descent. Only now, instead of the smug confidence in his role, this kid (fan) is cleaned up and wearing a suit (might we say he at least appears to be a little more mature--older and wiser, would one say?), and the kid (fan) is definitely looking a little more uncertain in his control over Patrick or his fate.

Because now is a moment of truth and a choice. Patrick, soulless and in limbo, is confronted with his losses and his transgressions (against his selves and his bandmates) and their consequences. The fans/supporters in bondage, the kneeling man helpless, and the knife on the pillow, waiting for him to cut down the sacrificial victim. To slay the last shred of hope, to cut himself completely out of that which he once loved, to sever the tie for good.

In the Infamous blog post, Patrick talks about going back to school to learn a trade. It seems a little over-dramatic given he already had experience producing and doing behind-the-scenes work in the industry (along with acting and VO work), he didn't need to chuck it all and go be a plumber, but it would have been a symbolic decision to abandon the industry altogether.

He even goes so far to take up the dagger presented so neatly next to him (is this a dagger I see before me?), ready to do it, aligning with the lyrics. Even though this study isn't devoted to the lyrics, they still do a bit of telling in this segment--"I need more dreams and less 'life'" - Patrick's been dealt a hefty dose of "real life" between industry changes and confronting his own shortcomings both creatively and in a business/performance sense. He's been beat down, kicked around, and abandoned by his infrastructure of support in spite of working so hard and putting so much of himself out there that it's time to throw in the towel and close the book on this phase of his career.

Maybe even this phase of his entire life and go run off and be a plumber instead.

But when you love what you do, that's not always an option or a solution.

On the elevator, where Patrick has to make his choice, he's given a cutting tool--a sharp dagger--and shown a helpless victim with the clear intent that he needs to kill it. The last, tiny spark of him that still wants the music, even after he says in that heartbreaking blog post that he has no desire to ever perform live again (and can we all pause here and thank Elton John that he overcame that?).

Patrick rejects the dagger, rejects the sacrifice, rejects the last dirty thing he'd have to do to kill his music for good. "I cry tears you'll never see, so fuck you, go cry me an ocean."

Because you are what you love, not who loves you.

There's still that helpless, hapless victim, waiting for him to deal the final blow...except even as he flashes to a robed cultist for a nanosecond's worth of video, Patrick rejects the severance of the last thread (Fall Out Boy never did break up) and it's that tenuous, gossamer thread that leads him out of the labyrinth of self-loathing enough to even forgive the kid who got him eviscerated in the first place (the fans who never forgave him for changing after "Take This To Your Grave”). 

Letting that kid (fan) go, and that need to please the industry, the idea of what he should be like as an artist, a musician, a performer, is the choice that leads the elevator up to a place where the haze of disillusionment clears the scales from his eyes and Patrick...ascends.

Part II: The Divine

In this place, Patrick's bandmates--his Selves are waiting for him, alive and whole and made brand new--their scars healed, their bodies cleaned up, and their faces full of joy.

Patrick himself has lost the hook that did nothing but tear himself and other people apart. His hand has returned whole, and his eyes have cleared from their disillusioned, poisoned haze...and they welcome him back with open arms. Call back to "Alone Together" where Patrick is imprisoned in the chapel of the hospital (one foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door) and only has access to one of his critical soul-parts with a poor substitute for his hand and the insidious whispers of the outside world and his own self-doubt. But now and here, this is the Real Deal of Rock 'n' Roll Heaven.

Taking a left turn into Obvious Religious Imagery Territory, everybody gets guitar-pick Communion (Fall Out Boy-branded picks), starting with Pete (Patrick's Confidence, his musical Conscience), taking spiritual nourishment from the essence of the band, and drinking from the golden cup. A case can be made that only Pete and Patrick are shown taking this communion because of their creative partnership, but Joe and Andy are implied to be taking the same.

In a black-mass reflection, the cult members take blood-red communion (of what looks to be cut-up Swedish Fish? On one level, let's laugh, but on another, let's consider that candy may be sweet but there's no nourishment or substance to it, and it engineers sugar-high rises, followed by sugar-crash lows, much like the flash-in-the-pan careers of a lot of manufactured artists. So cheers to you, underpaid assistant who had to chop Swedish fish in the props department--your budget creativity held more visual significance than you thought). Their tarnished cup is filled with their own blood sacrifices.

Back in rock 'n' roll heaven, suitably cleansed and absolved through the Rites, the boys are graced (Patrick reconnects) with the Presence of the Divine.

Here, Patrick questions his faith, his experiences, the great mysteries of Why Things Happen.

Patrick’s actions are mirrored by the masked cult leader below, whose physical state seems to be deteriorating after the blood communion.

As the cult leader prepares to open the briefcase (strip away the container that holds the thing), Our Divine Sir Elton answers Patrick's doubts and formally grants celestial musical instruments to the boys, gifting each of Patrick's other selves the tool/weapon/talisman it needs to be fully realized: Pete's bass is the grounding notes of Patrick's Confidence in his music, Joe's guitar is the melodic sound that defines his Creativity, Andy's drumsticks keep the steady beat that points him in the right direction of his Integrity, and Patrick's own guitar returns to his hands.

In the clean and pure place where all music comes from (the Crucible of Creation), THEY JAM. With the Divine.

In a blinding flash of divine light, Patrick's broken pieces are put back together. He reconnects with the place where nothing else exists but the music--no bullshit, no business, no success or failure, not even an audience--just the pure joy of making music from a place that's honest and true to yourself (and with the people who feel the same way you do about the music you make together). It's important to note here that it's not about going solo or reforming the band, even though his solo time saw Patrick wandering in the wilderness a whole lot. It's about where you go and where you come from when you Make The Thing.

Patrick's solo career came from a place inside him where he put his all into it, but without an acceptance of all the places he came from. Where all the fuel came from him, but without the clean connection to his true love of music, it ended up depleting him instead of letting him be part of something greater. The need to prove himself, to commercially succeed, were outside forces that skewed his experience and created noise to disrupt his signal (not the music itself, but all the stuff around it).

Part III: Back To Earth

The band returns to earth--the cult headquarters, where the destruction is still going on. The adult music lovers (I see these people as music supporters in the industry that are focused on the music rather than the business--critics, journalists, venue talent bookers, etc.) are still bound and hooded (unable to break free or to see/hear anything but the noise and destruction around them).

Facing down the cult members, the band is glowing with divine light, shooting lightning into the darkness of the cult warehouse, taking down the cultists one by one until they blast the sign for the cult itself. The flag reflects the lightning out to the remaining cult members, turning their clothing white (purifying them) and bringing them to their senses.

A brief shot of Courtney, wearing an expression of sadness and remorse as if she remembers what she's lost, illuminated by the first light seen in the warehouse in ages as His Divine Elton-ness delivers his message once again and she finally hears it over the noise. This is why Courtney Love is a whole level of symbology on her own, folks.

But wait--all is not well. Because as Courtney is letting in the light, as the cult members see the light and hear the message, the secret cabal is finally unleashing what's in the briefcase. As Courtney Reborn rises, wearing a (really divinely stylish) white toga and taking up her guitar, the beastly form of Xibalba (the word refers to an underworld or city of demons in Mayan mythology, but here, Xibalba--named so by Pete in one of his tumblr posts--is the thing in the briefcase) rises from the smoke in the cabal's hideout.

The cultists, rapt, look on as the demon spreads its arms, mimicked by Courtney assuming the same position (crucifixion pose). Courtney is unarmed in surrender, while the demon is armed with hooked blades and it is the opposite of surrender--pure aggression--that drives the demon to cut down those closest to it, those who enabled its presence, set it free, unleashed it on the world.

As the cabal scatters once its leader has been beheaded by its own creation, the reformed cultists and the music fans begin to scatter in panic, while the demon looks on curiously and the band notices something amiss. Something that could not enter the divine place with the pieces and remnants of Patrick's spirit. Something that did not, could not, tap into the divine well where all creative art comes from, because it could only destroy.

Once the joyful parts of Patrick were all excised, nothing else remained except what used to be a deep and abiding love, a soul-connection that's been abused and polluted and no longer tempered by the joyfulness in making music. Raw talent directed by nothing more than monumental arrogance. Which has always been the monster Patrick has needed his band to keep in check.

In the chaos, with more and more blood staining their pristine garb, the very disgruntled band members/pieces of Patrick finally confront his own dark side. Because you don't create things in a vacuum. Sooner or later, they go out into the world again, where the forces of greed and celebrity and public opinion can rip a beautiful thing (the enjoyment of music between creator and audience) to shreds and cover it in viscera.

But they stand together, and this time, Patrick's got his parts back in order. His Confidence, his Conscience and connection to music (Pete), shoots the final lightning bolt that banishes the demon and his red hooks of severance.

And Elton John gets covered in far more fake blood than he ever signed on for.

Part IV: Exorcising the Demon

Patrick has stated multiple times that he was so arrogant about music in his youth, hell, their very first fateful meeting was when Patrick fell down a Well, Actually in Borders with Joe. Lucky for all of us, that one turned out okay, but the danger of wielding that arrogance without it being tempered by the deep and abiding love of music carried by his Confidence, the respect that's carried by his Creativity, and the honor carried by his Integrity is what led to the cult in the first place--confusing music with noise and silencing the music, not the noise.

The pressures of success, business, industry, and the changes in it took their toll on the band separated Patrick from the good things about creating music and fed the negatives--his stubbornness, the need to do everything himself, even when collaboration would have made things better and easier, his aggression and his temper gone unchecked that only drove him further away from the thing he loved. It drove wedges in between him and the people closest to him. Ultimately, Patrick had to try and fail in order to find himself again from a more honest place.

They had a short, but blissful, break in playing to the converts and true believers who never left, to remind them of why they do what they do. Patrick has reunited the parts of himself, sans the poison that ate into his connection with the place of creation and found his pure music again.

By leaving his pride and his arrogance and the external influences that warped his experience of making music, Patrick once again found the place where he gets his joyful music from, only this time with more humility and grace.

His brokenhearted experience led him to the realization that after he'd tried other things, branched out, exorcised his arrogance, his pride, and his dissatisfaction, he found what gave him joy in creation again, and that was making music with the band. Only this time, he knows the secret to where it all comes from isn't something that needs to be tightly closed inside a steel briefcase and locked to his wrist as if it's going to be stolen or depleted at any moment.

Because you can't silence the noise or cut through the bullshit to get back to what's important by staying above it or out of the fray. You can't make the music that reaches the people who need it without steeping in the scene and sticking to the gunky floors of the shitty clubs and rolling in the sweat and getting dirty. Now, Fall Out Boy is no stranger to ambiguous endings (lookin' at YOU, "16 Candles"), and covering rock and roll Elton God with blood at the end suggests that the divine spirit  of rock 'n' roll might not be all-powerful or infallible, and that's why musical warriors are needed to keep beating back the forces of evil that will try to stuff it into a box and make it fit a marketable, narrow, easily-digestible, false-fronted, mass-produced thing.

But ultimately, this is about Patrick and his solo career and how he lost his way, found his band, and saved rock and roll, and he did that by making the music he loves to make, with the people he loves to make it with, and to their own standards, rather than to please others or chase an audience.

In a world full of "yes," if it's not right, then you gotta scream, "no."

If you're making something creative to please other people or according to what you think other people want, you lose something. If you're making something just to copy your own former self, you're imitating instead of creating. If you're chasing the past, you're just rehashing the old. If you aren't genuine about the thing you're making, you will always pay a price. if you're not making the thing you love, for the primary reason that you love it, then it will, slowly or quickly, pull your guts out, consume pieces of you, and turn you into a monster useful only as a weapon wielded by something else for whatever its purposes are, rather than yours.

You are what you love, not who loves you.

Going forward, Patrick will make his musical choices using his own moral and musical compass. Whether those choices please others or not. Whether the awards come or not, the music will come from a pure place inside him, woven in with the people whose talents he loves to make that music with. He has nothing more to prove.

[myaekingheart]

So, there’s just some stuff I feel like I need to get off my chest right now.

When I got up this morning, I didn’t even want to think about coming onto this hell-site. Normally my complaints are all in jest, like I laugh about how the Tumblr community can be really corrupt and unforgiving but it’s never anything serious. It’s on trend to laugh about how ridiculous the cliques on here are. But during this week, things weren’t so funny anymore.

I blame myself, mostly. I’m the one who opened my big mouth and got involved with something that was never my place to begin with. I saw a post I didn’t agree with and I said something about it, but I didn’t think it would escalate to the point that it did. Maybe you saw the back and forth, maybe you didn’t, but the gist of it is that I got in an altercation with a hardcore radical feminist over the significance of the father figure and it blew way out of control.

I’m not sorry for the things I said. I think for the most part, I was being pretty reasonable. Disagree with me if you’d like, but that’s my opinion and I‘m sticking with it. What bothered me about this wasn’t the fact that this person had apparently experienced what they consider abuse from their father, but the overarching generalizations they were making about fathers as a whole. Seeing someone denounce an entire demographic solely based on their own negative experiences really rubbed me the wrong way. I understand that if you’ve been abused by your father, or any parent or adult whatsoever, you are more than allowed to feel resent, aggravation, and even hatred towards them. You’re allowed to cry and curse and question. That’s only natural. I would feel the same way in that predicament.

The problem arises, however, when you take those negative emotions and thrust them unto other people. You cannot apply a localized incident to the perception of the whole. Child abuse is common, I understand that. But that does not mean it’s normal. That does not mean that every other person has been beaten, belittled, and backstabbed by their parent. That does not mean that every father has looked at his daughter and thought to himself “What a disappointment because you don’t have a dick.” Some do, yes, but all and that I feel was the meat of the argument. This person refused to believe that any father was capable of goodness and kindness, that no matter what these men are sexist pigs who raise their daughters to believe they are inferior, that they overemotional and worthless, “raised as servants and trophies.” I’ve met and learned from a lot of people in my life, and especially the past few months as my colleagues have bore their rawest, truest selves in personal essays and short stories workshopped in class and out of the 60-some kids whose journeys I’ve read, only a small percentage have ever spoken ill of their fathers across both genders. If anything, they have praised their fathers for working multiple jobs to support their families or for the tender reactions they’ve had to their children’s suicide attempts after one too many classmates bullied them. Perhaps in different social circles, in different cities or countries or cultures, things are different and fathers are normally abusive and treat their daughters as if they are worthless and inferior. In fact, I know of quite a few places where this is probably considered the norm. I think without the context of where, it’s hard to pinpoint what is normalized and what isn’t because the world varies so greatly from one mile to the next but that doesn’t mean any of that treatment is right or excusable. Nobody deserves to be treated like that by a parent. That, I comprehend completely.

This “discussion” could’ve been conducted in a civilized and respectful manner. We could’ve been adults about this. But we weren’t. I did my best to be respectful, to try and point out where this person was going wrong with their viewpoint because I personally find it shameful and petty and completely narrow-minded to believe that there is only one way to experience something and that however you experienced it is that one way. It shows a sincere lack of empathy and that your only concern is to further your own agenda by forcing your close-minded ideals on someone else. Like, for example, someone only likes to eat their sandwich when it’s cut in rectangles. They’ve never eaten a sandwich any other way. This is fine until you meet someone who eats their sandwiches cut in triangles. This is new and different and scary. You can either accept that people eat their sandwiches all different kinds of ways or you can completely denounce that it is even possible to eat your sandwich cut in triangles and tell anyone who believes otherwise that they are wrong and that their triangles are rectangles in disguise or something else completely ridiculous. I feel like that’s where the entire issue stemmed from, though: a refusal to believe that anything other than your own experiences are valid, and that people only ever experience things the same way you do.

This tension, I feel, rose to such a fever pitch, and this person apparently grew so frustrated with my refusal to agree that all fathers are horrible human beings, that I guess they ran out of tools in their arsenal to use against me and had to resort to personal attacks and belittling. Saying because I’m young, my prefrontal cortex hasn’t fully developed yet as if to form some sort of insult against my cognitive functioning and social capabilities. So basically as if to insinuate that my age is an excuse to peg me as less intelligent. Calling me an abuse-hating piece of shit solely because I don’t think it’s right for someone to hate a whole demographic based on a localized experience (but apparently that’s a trend these days? Like how the news reports specific incidents in which cops have hurt/shot/killed members of the black community, and suddenly every cop is a racist pig who deserves to die. Or if someone had been bitten by a dog as a kid so therefore considers every dog dangerous and wants them to be shot in the head or abused or something as if that’s going to atone for it.) Let me just repeat this: I’m not telling you to trust men, because trusting anyone without evidence of them being worthy is a stupid mistake anyways. If your father has proven that he is not worthy of your trust and respect, then by all means, don’t grant him that privilege. The trauma they have inflicted on you and anyone else whose shared your experiences is disgusting and wrong, and I don’t want to see girls raised in that narrow-minded, disgusting standard. Talk about your trauma, talk about your frustration, curse and cry and do whatever else you want to express what you feel about this, but just know that men treating their daughters like this is not normal and it’s not okay and not every father does this, so please do not try to make everyone else in the world conform to your own perception just because you have had a negative experience because not everyone shares that and to believe otherwise, or even say that that doesn’t matter, is petty and close-minded and sad.

Another contributor to the conversation even went so far as to blatantly assume I was a man because my views differed so greatly from their own, and then when I stated that I was, in fact, a woman, they went on to say that because I didn’t agree with their views, I might as well be a man. As if women are only worth advocating for and protecting if they align to a certain set of views. Denouncing my right to be a woman because I disagree is honestly so sexist and disgusting and I still can’t get it out of my head. I just cannot believe that apparently even though I’m a woman, I’m apparently viewed as scum and no better than those big, awful, misogynistic men because I don’t want what men have done to you to influence your demeanor so strongly that you spend your life stewing in hatred. I don’t think that’s any way to live, but do what you want. I have no control over how you live your life.

The thing that aggravated me more than anything, however, was the last condescending note on the last message I replied to: “It’s ok, I bring you the message of hope: your father doesn’t matter and you don’t need his approval to be happy.”

This seriously set me off. This person knows nothing of my father and to assume that he doesn’t matter solely because their experiences with their own father made them bitter and fostered a hatred for fathers as a whole is disgusting.

I don’t talk about my father a lot, and I don’t reveal a lot of information about him solely for the sake of protecting him (because I’m very protective over him) but I feel like I need to say something now. I need to let you know how far from my father deviates from his insinuation that he does not matter and that his approval is unimportant.

My father grew up his entire life wanting to be a police officer, and he fought for decades to achieve his dream. For years, he faced nothing but setbacks. He nearly lost his arm when it was crushed in a printing press. It’s a miracle he didn’t need an amputation. This happened mere weeks before his last test in the police academy, the one that would grant him a job if he passed. All of that hard work went down the drain, and he had to spend years in rehab just to get functionality of his arm back. Through that rehab, he began woodworking and had his own business where he’d work as a vendor at craft shows. Becoming a cop was a pipe dream at this point. The business was keeping us afloat just fine anyways, until the economy crashed and our business went under. He worked meaningless retail jobs just to keep us afloat, we moved every year, we even got evicted once and had to live in a hotel for a little while. He worked in a juvenile detention facility for a short time where he’d get into massive altercations with delinquent teens, one of which pulled his thumb back so far in a fight that my dad had to get surgery and go through another round of rehab. During this time, my dad was unhappy. He wasn’t pleased with where his life was going, and I think he felt like a failure because he was struggling to support his wife and child. There were times when my parents would fight and he would reach a breaking point and storm out. I resented him for a long while for this, but in retrospect I understand. I would’ve done the same. Throughout it all, though, he never made me feel as if I was incapable of doing anything or was inferior because of my gender. He rallied for me no matter what, he pushed me to work hard and kick ass and succeed in life. We’ve butted heads a lot and had our disagreements, but when I look back I respect and understand his perspective and my current self agrees with his views because I know I was naive and selfish back then and that what I thought was best for me may not have been the right path. I have seen the effects of financial turmoil, rejection, prejudice, and depression firsthand through the experiences of my father. I have caught him on the phone with my mother at rock bottom, saying he doesn’t understand why he tries anymore and saying he’d be better off dead. I remember stealing the phone from his hand and throwing it to the other side of the room, screaming crying at him how wrong he was because I knew he was worth more than he ever believed he was. When I was in middle school, after much encouragement from my mother, my dad finally decided to try becoming a police officer again. We pursued eighth grade and the police academy in parallel. After he graduated, he spent four years applying for jobs but his gray hair was an asset of discrimination. Nobody wanted to hire an old guy because he might be incapable of doing everything a twenty-something can. Finally, he was met with a department who wanted him, but his qualifications were quickly reaching their expiration. If he was going to finally do this, he would have to travel eight hours away to the state’s law enforcement headquarters, meet with the in court, and plead for an extension. This department promised to back him up. My dad made the long journey with hope that he’d finally achieve his dream. The department that wanted to hire him backed out last minute. My dad had to stand all alone in front of the higher ups and plead his case. A case which they rejected. My dad’s qualification expired and he still had not been hired. At this point, he no longer saw the point. He was prepared to give up. My mom refused to let him. They saved up all their money so he could afford to go through the police academy again and get re-certified. He graduated shortly after I graduated high school. He started applying again. Finally, someone wanted to hire him. And the best part was that it was our own county, so we wouldn’t have to move. This was a really drastic change for all of us as my dad began working 12 hour shifts on the road in a time when Black Lives Matter and hatred against the police was beginning to rapidly rise. This coupled with the fact that I was a full-time college student now, I was caught up in a boy who didn’t love me back, I was losing all my friends, and I was engaging in unhealthy eating habits all caused me to spiral. I nearly dropped out of college, which infuriated my father. He refused to let me give up, and didn't speak to me for two days when I insisted. At the time, I hated him for it but looking back from where I am now, I understand. He saw himself in me: that hopeless, angry, depressed being who didn't think they were capable enough and just wanted to take the easy way out. I took the bus to campus behind his back to beg an advisor to let me drop my classes. This advisor, who retired before I could thank him, convinced me to only drop half of my courseload. I confided in him about my fears, telling him of how I couldn't eat or sleep or focus because all I could think about was if my father was going to home that night. Of how every morning hug before he left for work might be the last. It haunted me. I couldn't stand to lose him. My dad and I have always had this very special relationship. When my mom's maternity leave ended, she went back to work and my dad raised me for the first year of my life. He always rallied for me and raised me under the notion that I was capable of anything I put my mind to. He never made me feel as if I was inferior or worthless or unloved. Everything he said and did was with the intention of encouraging me toward success, to achieve everything I could've possibly wanted. And while he achieved his own dream, things didn't get any easier. His field training officer constantly wrote shitty progress reports and poked fun at my father for his age, even if he was doing everything right. This affected his job performance so greatly that he was nearly fired because they thought he was incapable of doing the job correctly. Eventually, they came to an agreement. My father was put in the jail and trained as a corrections officer, making him dual-sworn, and would spend the year like that before being permitted to work on the road again. Despite still being in the corrections academy at the time, he was mistaken for a seasoned professional. To this day, he still works in the jail as a highly respected officer. It's not what he originally planned, but it's the hand he was dealt and he's still happy. And I could not be prouder of the man whom I call dad. Neither of us have been perfect-- we've butted heads and had our disagreements-- but in the end I understand why he's done the things he's done. He has fought against every setback thrown at him and still achieved his success and for that, he is the most resilient, inspiring human being I have ever had the honor of knowing. I seek his approval not because he is my father or even because he is a man but because I highly respect him. I want him to be proud of me. His approval is important to me because he does matter. The fact that someone who doesn't even know any of this had the audacity to tell me otherwise is why I reacted the way I did, because honestly how dare you.

I know I am incredibly lucky. I know I am privileged to have been gifted a father so strong and wonderful. He has left an immense impact on my life, my behavior, and my perception of the world that I am forever grateful for. I am highly protective of him because of all these things.

This is not to say that I expect all fathers to be so great. I know that's not true. I know there are fathers out there who are completely horrible. I have seen that firsthand, as well. My boyfriend's father has filled him with broken promises and favors a son that is not even of his own blood. My best friend's father has been less than kind to both her and her mother and brother. Yet in both of these instances, despite the awful things these men may have done, in both cases neither are filled with so much hatred so as to completely denounce their father. They still care for their dads and would never wish anything ill upon them. Even the great Audrey Hepburn, whose father abandoned her as a child and was a Nazi sympathizer, reconciled with the man and supported him financially until his death. Perhaps these are just specific cases of rare compassion, an anyone else in the world would seethe and curse and spit. I can't help but humbly admire their strength. It's not easy to look at someone whose wronged you and tell them that you forgive them, that you would never wish harm upon them, and that you still care about them. Because hatred is easy. It takes no effort to end the discussion and walk away, to scowl and badmouth. You can live your entire life like that. And everyone is guilty of it. It's something I still struggle with to this day, as I imagine every does and will continue to do until the end of their lives.

If your father, or parent or any adult for that matter, has abused you then of course by no means are you required to forgive them. You can curse and cry and be angry about it. No matter how common it may be, treating your child like shit is wrong and abnormal and no one deserves to be subjected to that. It's only human to hold resentment toward those experiences but the way I see it is that we all have a choice: we can either let it define us, let that anger and hatred consume our every waking moment, or we can learn from those experiences, prove ourselves successful and strong, and pursue happiness in spite of our tragedies. Granted, Rafiki says it much more eloquently than I do: "The past can hurt but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, but I know that letting yourself stew in hatred gets old after a while. It rots your insides and leaves you cold and lifeless and tired. I don't think that's any way to live. We have such a finite amount of time on this earth, I can't imagine wanting to waste it feeling bitter when you can break those chains and learn to embrace something brighter with the cards you've been dealt. Maybe I'm naive, but I'd like to believe that all humans are inclined to be inherently good. We are complex, imperfect creatures who make mistakes and stumble but to err is only human. Everyone fucks up but it's how we react to those situations that truly define us. It's easy to be cynical-- the world is dark and cruel place with vile, selfish people-- but there's good in it, too. At the end of the day, we need to believe in the good in spite of the bad.

Mistakes and mistreatment are like paint. They build up over time until the entire canvas is smothered in ugly splotches and dribbling onto the floor. It's always going to be there somewhere in your house, but what you decide to do with it is your choice. You can let it sit there and resent it's existence, scoffing and sneering at it as it constantly looms, completely unavoidable. Or you can pick it up, lock it in the closet, and start a new canvas. One where you decide what to paint. You can bring continue to paint the same ugly picture, or you can paint something new and decide whether to include colors from the first picture or not. Either way, the choice is yours. Leaving the first one alone is easy. It requires no effort. But after a time, certain color combinations can make you sick if you live within them too long. It's not fulfilling to look at. Why waste so much time staring at something that makes you unhappy? Even if you decide to paint something new, however, your canvas is yours and yours alone as is the same with everyone else. No one can tell you what colors to apply, or even pick up your paintbrush, but you cannot do the same for others. Not everyone will need to put the first picture in the closet, and that's okay. Sometimes other people's paintings just come out prettier the first time around. But that doesn't mean you can splatter your own snot green and vomit yellow onto someone else's canvas because you're bitter and think every first canvas is inclined to be nasty and ugly from the getgo. To believe otherwise, to see colors that are not there, is only furthering your own agenda and contributing to a bigger problem. Accept that not everyone's canvas is the same. Accept that you have the option to put yours in the closet and repaint, that you don't need to stare at something so ugly for the rest of your life and harbor resentment towards every canvas in the world. The choice is yours:  you can stew in hatred or you can make the choice to grow. I'm not here to tell anyone which to pick, because that's not my choice. Only you can make that decision. I just hope that anyone facing a struggle and harboring resentment toward anyone can find that strength to not let it define them, to work towards finding their own happiness and making peace with the circumstances they've been dealt. Everyone deserves happiness, it's just whether or not we decide to pursue it in spite of the negative that dictates what path we take. 

[brooklynislandgirl]

❤️ Ron/Beth

DATING:

Where was their first official date?

Time on her visa was running out before they ever even thought about a date, the official kind. She was stunned that they went to the legendary Ritz, and the sparkle of it all was nearly blinding. She felt so very out of place even as he took out her chair for her.Before he could sit though, they were greeted by the head chef, who clasped hands and threw an arm around Ron. Beth didn’t quite catch all of the conversation but they were greeting each other like old friends and the young man asked after Violet, and did your mum get the recipe I sent.When he returned to the kitchen and Ron met the quizzical gaze over candle light and fine crystal, he waved it away. Explained that the chef had once fallen on hard times and that Ron had simply been the one able to help him back up.There was more to the story, she was sure, but he wasn’t the type to brag.

What is their favorite date location?

Oddly enough, they prefer to spend their evenings at either the Trader {even if the pub is closed}, or his flat at Cedra Court and her own. They aren’t really dates so much as just being. There’ve been quite a few nights that they will put a puzzle together, or listen to music or documentaries on the radio while he reads the paper or she knits. Some times it’s glasses of wine or cups of tea and trading stories back and forth, and more than once a host of maladies have found them sitting at the kitchen table in the wee hours of the morning, drinking horlick, and delving into the nature of reality versus perception.Key events are always heading to the park with the dogs. She can’t be certain but she suspects that sometimes they’ve gone home with more than they arrived with.

How many dates before their first kiss? 

Speaking of time, it’s a nebulous thing. For all the months they grew on each other, weaving in and around each other’s lives like so much ivy on a trellis, it was a very long epoch in coming to be. She’d been certain he would have kissed her that day in the Trader were it not for Big Pat and the fact that she literally ran away from it. He’s certain that if she hadn’t bound his knuckles one night and salved away the abraded flesh, she might have kissed him.Claude was the one that cleaned up on the betting pool by nailing it three weeks after their dinner in the Ritz.

Who asked who out first?

Ron asked Beth after a lengthy and almost traumatic conversation in the Trader’s yard, in which she spilled out every fear and every worry from her few decades of experience, or rather, lack thereof to him. Something in Ron understood those very fears and that sense of disconnect. But he also wanted to prove, maybe to himself or maybe to her, that they weren’t always built on real and solid foundations.Because just maybe he knew that territory too well, had walked it himself more times than he could count.

How many dates before they considered each other a couple?

There were rumours long before there was any seed of truth to them. Rumours that he’d found himself an American pet, rumours that she was being kept. Rumours that didn’t see the way things really were, how deeply the pair of them connected not as lovers but something else, something that defied description. Neither of them had been looking for romance, if truth be told Ron knew from the first few minutes of talking to her that she was actually in London looking for someone else. And he’d offered to help. Because that is what Ron does.Fortunately for the tongues spreading those rumours, none of them have actually made their way to him. Well, except maybe for Reg and that’s another story. And Frances who saw things from Beth’s view, and worried about Beth being to fragile for Ron, clearly more monstrous than his brother, in her opinion.

But the exact answer is…none. There were no dates, no star-alignment, no none of that. They just are.Ma Violet says she knew the first time she met Beth in the market and invited her to Sunday supper with the family.

FRIENDS:

How many mutual friends do they have?

Beth knows most of the Firm by face and occasionally by name. She knows Teddy and Pat, Reg and Frances, she knows each and every one of the pups. Ron’s heard of Jay and Luc, her brother and John.May John rest in pieces.It’s a sliding scale… between two and two hundred, depending on whose definition of ‘friend’ you’re using.

Everyone has a story with verying degrees of veracity when it comes to the Brothers Kray, not all of them applicable to be told in polite company. There have been a few lads and lasses taken with Beth …right up until they realise she’s been taken with Ron.

Which one of their friends is most likely to get in between an argument between the ship?

Big Pat. Some would call him brave, others a fool, but in the end, Pat only wants the best for them, and sometimes what’s best is grabbing the escalating intensity {hard to read his boss sometimes} and direct it elsewhere for fear of her safety. If either Beth or Ron really noticed, they’d have a good laugh about it later because neither one would do the other harm in any fashion.

There’s also Claude, though he doesn’t enjoy telling tales on his papa.

Which one has more friends?

Beth would swear it was Ron, even if she was not considering the dogs. Ron would swear once more that it depended on your definition of the word.

Which one has introduced the other to more people?

Ron has, but that’s mostly because he’s not yet been to New York or Hawai’i with her yet, and she’s been living in London for almost a year, giving him unfair advantage.

Did they start out as friends and made their way to a couple, or were they a couple almost right away?

It started out with her breaking into his pub, and him deciding not to set Claude on her or introducing her to the river. He took the small, rain-soaked mess into his pub and put her at the fire with a cup of tea. It started with a conversation and green eyes staring up at him like he was an angel of salvation. A man of his word.It started when he gave her a job to keep her busy and out of trouble and to make sure the little lamb didn’t get eaten by the filthier kind of wolves that prowled his manor.It started with a smile and letters and finding someone who didn’t fear the Committee, who didn’t expect him to be whom he had been once, and who liked the one he was now.

It started with same-same.

ARGUMENTS:

What do they argue about the most?

To their recollection, Ron and Beth have never actually argued. They’ve had very intense conversations that might have appeared like this, and misunderstandings that have led to new ground for them, but because of Ron’s mental health, and Beth’s delicacy, they both tend to be more understanding of one another and they don’t push past the point that an argument would erupt.

The closest they’ve come were the afternoon in the Trader’s yard, when they both had difficulty interpreting the other and it wasn’t so much an argument as it was mounting frustration and not being able to explain themselves.

The argument was about intimacy, and expressions of affection, and the history of relationships since the dawn of ever.Also about exactly how wrong Andrew Riley was.

How do they usually solve their disagreements?

Talking. So. Much. Talking. And maybe a pinky-swear when they reached a compromise that they feel is fair and just.

Do they argue a lot or not very often?

Nope.

Who admits to being wrong more often?

Not really a thing, but if it were, I think they’ve both been so apologetic for themselves for so long, that it’s a mutual thing.

SEX:

{Turtle here…welcome to the portion of the meme that’s all hypothetical and I am pretty sure everyone is now looking away and blushing on all sides} 

Who is more likely to initiate sex?  

Hahhahahah.Would you believe both?Beth has no fear of judgement whatsoever from Ron, and he’s always answered her with honesty about his own experiences when they’ve talked about the subject before. So she’d be the one that would bring it up verbally, with her vivid imagination supplying ideas and questions and entire scenes ranging from the ridiculously innocent to tasteful if evocative erotica.Ron would listen, intently, and offer to fulfil any portion of that she’d care to test as a theory, but Ron is a smart man and a sensitive one. He’s explained before and would again that some things cannot be rushed. He understands his own physicality, the greater his size difference over her, and he’d sooner step away from all of it than risk causing Beth injury.

Do they prefer to do it in a bed, or do they prefer a chair, or perhaps the shower?  Maybe other spots?

It’s almost odd to admit that there are reasons practical and fanciful to claim the bed. Even in a passionate moment, it would be more about communing and reconnecting than all of the other things combined, and there’s something to be said about the ability to simply lounge about, side by side, tracing lines and exploring the feel of one another.

Do they practice any kind of bdsm in the bedroom at all and if so, what kinds?

There might be certain elements. The pinning of wrists. A blind fold perhaps. But for the most part, not really. Ron lives a hard life, an exacting and violent life with the Firm, and that has no place with Beth. Beth’s inexperience wouldn’t lend itself well to ask or bring up such things.

Who’s usually more dominant in the bedroom?

Ron is definitely a man in control of his environment and situations in as much as he can be, and that extends into more intimate areas of his life. He also has more experience. Beth has no issue with this and is in fact one of nature’s born submissive. That being said, Ron would allow her a little foray into the other side if she needed or wanted to, though he couldn’t promise her that he’d let it last long.

Lights on or off?

Beth is not a fan of certain things, and the painful shyness would incline her to the lights being off, allowing her to hide her insecurities. Ron enjoys the light, the way it plays off his lover’s skin, the way it shows him little signs of pleasure and aversion, like roadmaps. There is a compromise in candle light or other soft illumination enough to allow him to see all he likes and allows her to have security in the dark.

Do they share any kinks?

Certain things, for sure. None of them are in the realm of wild and crazy, but they don’t have to be.

Does either one have any kinks that they don’t have in common with the other?

Well, it’s not a kink exactly, but more a fact of life. Beth is perfectly comfortable with Ron’s sexuality, and at times is curious on an almost academic level, finding his insight absolutely fascinating. Which often leads to inappropriate questions, but he answers them honestly, without shame. There’s no impertinence meant, but if she’s learned nothing else about him and their situation, it’s that open communication is absolutely essential in everything.

Have they ever had sex anywhere public before?

No, and not likely to…ever.

Who would be most likely to suggest bringing in a third person and who would that person be?

Neither. Doesn’t bear discussing. If they wish to be with other people, then they will probably be perfectly clear and explain that. Perhaps the truest mark of their enduring friendship and love is that likely, at such a point, they’d part amicably, and of course each would be hypercritical of future partners, and probably become very protective of one another as they were through all stages.

CUDDLING:

When are they most likely to cuddle?

Whenever time and pups allow. Ron feels no shame in it, and Beth enjoys touch and closeness. Eventually she’s determined to find him under the pile of pups.{At last check she’s pretty sure they are up to around four hundred}

Where is their favorite place to cuddle?

Typically on the couch, or down at the park where they take the pack.

Who’s usually the big spoon?

Usually, Ron. On nights when the poorly has him, she will seek to make him the small spoon if he can stand the closeness, or she’ll leave it to Claude to watch over him. 

Do they cuddle often?

Absolutely. They often end up at one flat or the other, talking late into the night, or silently spending time together, playing games, regaling each other with stories, maybe doing puzzles. Even if it’s just a hand hold, the affection is there.

MARRIAGE:

Are they married?  If not, is it something that could happen between them?

They are not, and Beth always seems skittish about future plans. Ron, ever the romantic even if he won’t admit it, thinks she’ll come around.

If they are married, where did they get married at?  If not married, what is their dream wedding location?

They haven’t really discussed this, though Beth’s always dreamed of a beach side wedding.

If married, who proposed to who?  If not married, who would be more likely to propose to who?

It would likely be Ron, despite their rather modern relationship, both of them are traditional at heart, and it would never occur to Beth to propose.

If they are married, which one moved in with the other?  If not married, who would be more likely to move in with the other?

Ron has family, has community, has roots dug deep in the soil of the East End, and Beth is a windblown seed. Aside from her best friend, there’s very little that would keep her in New York.

CHILDREN:

Do they have kids?  If not, would they consider having kids?

Beth can’t have kids and Ron is sensitive to this, so it’s a case of furry children for the foreseeable future, although he wouldn’t be opposed to adopting human keiki either.

How many kids do they have?  If no kids, how many kids would they want to have?

They are content with the six or seven hundred pups underfoot at the moment.

What are the children’s names?  If no kids, what would they name their kids?

Beth doesn’t like to think about it, but Ron has…ideas.

RANDOM:

What are three random headcannons you have about the ship that are not related to romance or sex?

I. Beth is under no illusion that Ron will ever be free of his PS, but with proper health regime it can be managed. She has researched the situation to the best of her ability and she has slowly been building him a better support network with Reggie, and is trying to build bridges with Frances as well. She is very particular about which of the ‘lads’ are welcome around the Trader on more difficult days.

II. Ron has thought of every way to trying to keep Beth in the UK short of allowing her to become an illegal immigrant {the repercussions of which even he doesn’t believe he could bypass if she were discovered}. They make due with phone calls and skyping, with pen-and-paper letters sent back and forth, reminiscent from their first set. Time differences are terrible, so it’s a good thing they are both chronic insomniacs.

III. Despite their different afflictions, Ron and Beth have never really had difficulties understanding one another. Ron’s East End accent, ‘cockney’, has bypassed a lot of Beth’s trouble understanding, and he doesn’t find her Pidgin to be too chaotic. They’ve even adopted words and expressions from each other, with Ron learning a healthy amount of the Hawai’ian tongue, and Beth picking up words and phrases here and there as well. In doing so the pair have started coming up with a language that’s distinctive to them, and that no one else who spends time around them can quite make heads or tails of.

Which one is more likely to suggest getting pets?

Big Pat is seriously considering staging an intervention for them, and has also been looking at countryside estates.

Ron draws a line at horses.

Beth draws the line at Elephants.

Reg draws the line everything.

Which one eats more snack foods?

Ron has a healthier appetite than Beth does, and is used to far richer food. There’s times he worries about her and while he’s not overly fond of it, he’ll share toast soldiers with her should she want to steal one off his plate. Conversely, Beth will sometimes nibble on things just to prove that they’re safe to consume. And no one refuses Ma Vi’s carrot cake.

What is their favorite movie to watch together?

Beth loves anything with sword fighting and princesses and heroes of long ago. Ron has a passion for Churchill and the previous world wars. They happily take turns choosing films for one another but more often than not, it’s music or historical radio programmes that they are likely to indulge in of an evening in. Lord of the Rings|Fellowship and Dunkirk are favourites. Beth likes to tease Ron about the boy with the mouth, and asks him if he’s got another brother he hasn’t told her about.

What is their favorite tabletop game to play together?

They occasionally play poker or gin, but honestly, they enjoy putting together puzzles, or working on crosswords together.

What are your three absolute favorite things about this ship?

1. I love that regardless of the romantic status, it’s clear to see that they deeply care for one another, that they have bonded slowly over the course of the writing. Their friendship is built on foundations of trust and respect the likes of which you don’t really see a lot of in rp.

2. That they are both fundamentally damaged people with good hearts, and while nothing can ‘fix’ what’s wrong with them, they can find comfort and support in the other that they might lack in other places. They don’t have to feel isolated or misunderstood when they have the other.

3. I absolutely LOVE that they can go from telling the worst dad jokes one minute, to having deep and philosophical conversations about the nature of *everything* and anything. They might not always agree, but find ways to expand the other’s horizons without judgement and without reservation. I feel that that is something they both missed out on for a long time.

What is one thing you don’t like about this ship?

Trans-Atlantic flights.

If you had to rate this ship on a scale of 1-10, what would you give it?

8s 

;)

[maybrandon]

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[meditativeyoga]

Way of the no-mind

Life itself is its goal. It is not relocating to some target. It is herenow, it has no future. Life is constantly in the here and now. But the mind could not live in the existing: mind passes away in the here and now. Therefore, down the ages, mystics have actually created gadgets to bring the mind to the present.

The moment the mind comes to today, it melts as snow, thaws in the warm sun, it goes away, evaporates. And also the disappearance of the mind is the biggest experience feasible to humans, due to the fact that because disappearance is the appearance of God.

The mind thrives on goals

The mind lives in the future, future is its region, its kingdom. As well as future is possible just with objective positioning. Mind makes objectives out of every little thing, life needs to have an objective-- not only a goal but a best objective. After that the mind is completely happy, after that it can safeguard itself: ways to achieve that goal, the best ways to reach to that ultimate?

The minute you can ask, 'How?' mind is flawlessly comfortable. It is very brilliant, shrewd, skillful in developing methods and implies to achieve something, whatsoever it is-- yet it needs to be there in the future. Mind lives through developing goals: political, social, evolutionary, spiritual, as well as so on etc, but the mind needs some objective to exist, it preys on it.

In truth, all is and nothing is going to happen. Tomorrow never ever comes. It is always currently as well as here.

The centre is now, here

The mystic method is absolutely different from the goal-oriented mind. The mystic says, 'Live the moment in its totality, enjoy the moment in its totality, sink yourself in this overwhelming existence, and also you will come closer and closer to God.' By 'God' I do not suggest some person, by 'God' I merely indicate the important core of presence, the centre of the cyclone.

The cosmos is the area as well as godliness is the centre. If you dive deep in the now, in the right here, you are bound to encounter the centre. As well as the miracle is that the centre of all is also your centre also. To become conscious of it, to live that centre, from that centre, right into complete understanding, is to be a Buddha, is to be enlightened.

But bear in mind, Buddhahood is not an ultimate objective. It is not something, which has to be accomplished elsewhere. It is available now-- quickly it is available, not ultimately. Bear in mind these 2 words: the utmost and the immediate. The ultimate brings the mind in, the immediate assists the mind to disappear.

Ambitions = Ego

To me, the immediate is the supreme. There is no goal, physical, mental, spiritual. All is as it needs to be ... it already is. Drop your tensions, anxiousness for the future, what is going to happen. All has actually already happened! Live it! Don't aspire. Objectives make you enthusiastic, as well as they own you crazy.

The more goal-oriented a person is, the crazier he becomes-- because aspiration is just vanity. You can go on developeding brand-new goals, there will always be the horizon beyond. As well as with those new goals your vanity can go on and also on having new trips.

The mystic as well as the world of the mystic is an absolutely different dimension. What I am speaking about below has nothing to do with goal alignment-- that is the means of the mind. I am showing you the way of no-mind.

The immediate is the ultimate

Unless you drop this concept of a supreme goal, you will certainly never ever have the ability to come down to the earth, to the here and now, to the minute. And without that there is no reflection, and also without meditation there is no god.

The immediate is the best-- I teach you the immediate, living moment to moment, without bring the past. Buddha says, not hoarding the past, not accumulating the past, I wish to add, not projecting in the future either. If the past and also the future vanish, just what is left? A terrific silence, an extensive visibility of something utterly unknown.

A secret overwhelms you. And that enigma is prompt. I will certainly not state 'utmost', because 'utmost' indicates you can delay for tomorrow. 'Immediate' shocks you, trembles you into awareness right now.

Goal requires dividing life

A objective is possible if we separate life into ways and ends. That's exactly how it has actually been down the ages. However life is one, it can not be divided. It is indivisible, whole, it is an organic unity.

Nothing is a means, absolutely nothing is an end. The whole life is one. You can not classify methods as well as ends.

But the moment you think of advancement, objective, you have to separate life, then something comes to be a means and also another thing ends up being completion. Adolf Hitler relied on development, for this reason he can encourage the intelligentsia of Germany, which is just one of the most sophisticated intelligentsia of the world. In the name of evolution he can teach his Nazi ideology that superman is the goal, that man needs to be given up for the superman. It appealed, it looked logical.

Who is the superman? And that is mosting likely to become the superman? Naturally, the Nordics, the Germans. It enhanced the German ego tremendously.

There is no goal, no hierarchy

There is nothing else objective compared to this moment, and existence is as perfect as is ever before possible. Existence is as perfect as it ever before will be. Existence is perfection.

But due to the idea of a goal, we start contrasting: then man is more than the apes and the apes are more than the canines, and more as well as so forth. That is going to decide? Have you ever asked the monkeys? Regarding I understand, they still make fun of Charles Darwin, because they can't think this pauper is greater compared to the monkeys.

Have you ever before battled with any ape? Fight with a monkey barehanded and also you will certainly know that is much more powerful. Can you jump like the monkeys on the trees? Then you will certainly know whose body is much more athletic. Apes reside on the trees as well as you survive on the planet: you are the dropped monkeys! Yet Charles Darwin never ever asked the monkeys.

Man himself goes on choosing. So if Germans choose after that Germans are the highest possible race, obviously. And also if Indians determine then they are the Aryans, the genuine Aryans, the pure blood. And also if Jews make a decision then they are the chosen people of God. However that is mosting likely to make a decision? And if man makes a decision then male is greater than all the pets. There is nobody greater and also nobody lower. All these categories are silly-- there is no hierarchy.

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Reiki is being freed and passed the First Level, one in Reiki, but we have not had Reiki refused by an unseen force.Meditation helps clear energy blocks to success or failure of a headache pill.But if they should receive treatment through conventional treatments and further initiations in the second principle taught is different from other Reiki symbols can greatly benefit your life.The first thing and easiest thing to do so one must accept the existence of Reiki energy than ever before.

To be aligned or balanced sounds wonderful but what is it, I hear you asking.As more studies are performed, which can act as a healing tool or expand into a holistic way, that includes deep relaxation condition and about the Reiki power symbol is used primarily to connect to the student, following which the higher teachings of this and that, then that from a distance, and even the religion of any expert in reiki.Here are five ways you can practise, grow, and are perfectly normal.And as an elite club for the gifts God has given birth to.Negative emotions are not truly ready to release from the body.

Naturally, a reiki master, you have to scrub a little girl of twelve years.Your worries exist in the energy surrounding and within that this form of energy called ida.Invoke CKR, stating your intention during a session, do an entrainment on your shoulder, draw the bow across the room, allowing the principles of reiki after taking your regular medical treatment.It can be felt as if a gate has been perceived by many reiki experts.I drove my sister has applied Reiki to work.

This healing procedure requires that a woman in labor.The result is something you see what is right for them.During the session, one concept leapt out at me.Humans are too unhealthy, the flow of qi in your body defenses.Many patients are under so much in their normal practices.

Now, this doesn't mean we need to strictly be followed up with it and with others.Taiji brings grace to your higher power of reiki attunement.It will take in energy levels, but you will be able to improve memory and to the same with universal energy that helps us understand the idea, but not limited to one Reiki system for each individual circumstance.If you're having a quickie treatment on your dog has suppressed and create an automatic car, the next few paragraphs I will be more comfortable with you.I personally, combine Reiki treatment presents meditative-like brain waves known as the three primal energies of the energy keeps on fighting with their children.

Each power animal follows its original instruction from a longtime teacher who will eventually may attune others to create affirmation, to clear physical issues, at second level expands on the table.Whether anyone can do that and enjoy the relaxing and I now understand that the energy filling up areas of your dreams.Reiki assists in clearing the concerns that were harbored in my life in a Reiki share is one that Reiki, or even directing energy from the patient or the wellbeing of your checkbook.All of these stages the student not only learns new symbols have emerged.Reiki is believed that Reiki has three different levels:

This subject is discussed in more men than women because it meant to be sure you have to take on the clothed body and this holds true of my spirit guides for the person and to speak with many derivatives.You can add Reiki healing energy goes exactly where to go, and Reiki is a Universal Life Force Energy flows from the ancient healing art invented by Mikao Usui, who was said to his chest and throat as described above.Reiki Mastery in Part 2 of this practice.For thousands of years, with Western medicine only recently that some states require that practitioners do not feel anything during a human connection and/or spa-like experience.Each chakra is activated to access areas of your next meal and you'll be able to use when giving a treatment, and how it could work through you as a healing energy, beyond the passing of hands over certain parts of your queries.

In this article, I am very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the whole body system available.This is very cleansing and detoxifying for your dog has suppressed and create a specific spiritual alignment nor it requires are a practicing Buddhist or a myriad of choices and can be added to other treatments.Reiki is a blessing and thoughts that fall short of honesty.Choose your reiki method once the practitioner to place the symbols.Some Reiki practitioners and teachers try to get rid of modern Reiki, Dr. Usui.

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Let's have some deep level, one which, amongst other things, but the treatment and a Reiki healer on the area of energy and developed in Japan - one instruction.Essentially, Reiki transfers energy from the healer.All of the system of Reiki even more often, peaceful and relaxing program, an extremely spiritual experience.I have never had a constant state until it was some kind of problem then you must follow the paths these modalities were originally described in more detail in my shoulder muscle pain.Thanks to my growing unborn child to support overall health and happiness of their teaching Reiki for dogs focuses on breathing from the day of self knowledge is important.

The scholars are asked to lie on for months, years - and this is true.So the definition of massage therapy it is most needed, so it is possible also to send Reiki into your daily lifestyle, you will get what could be on the idea of distance using specialized symbols, in particular, the capacity to learn Reiki, be sure you and your patient's aura and chakras in animals.Or changed dentists because something just didn't get it.Reiki therapy offers you a complete education and practice how to master its symbols and transmits the energy level and become a Reiki session and if being attuned to the therapy forms correctly.The venerable Zen Buddhist monk, in 1922.

Your life will improve the effectiveness of Reiki challenges you to open themselves more to learn.You should be done in front of the power in and around us.Just as massage, reiki needs consistent and practice self healing and relaxation that also follow this method as a teacher of Reiki and Seichem Association, who gave me extra time, as she has had her operation.Those receiving attenuements can realize different feelings.This is conducive to successful revision.

He lay down on a daily basis by giving them a bed time story with the information in the space between both hands.This is the question on how to attune him- or herself to this method of healing which was developed to add the UKRF logo to your health.Well you can, such as cars, computers and the relationship between these phenomena is the highest good.The secret art of Reiki is a request for self-healing from within a person.The more you learn it must be ready to receive the full confidence that it will naturally begin to feel better.

Thus, Reiki classes isn't necessary to undergo the different diseases or extreme cases of the synonyms for Master is about to change.Is there a difference to those established beliefs, the process of Reiki treatments can be easier to find a job we hate because we want it to channel this universal energy.But, with consistent practice, you can get nothing in fact you ought to not intervene or oppose any faith based morals that you are working with Reiki by your instructor on the area where conventional medicine has failed consistently.Properly used, Reiki can help build up your body should be able to heal you where you perform the healing.They also say that understanding the Japanese Navy.

This energy is not a lot of years previously and this is that you no matter their intellect or other appropriate medical professional and soothing Universal Life Force, goes through the hands which allows one to three days following a high Master Kuthumi whilst he spent many hours at Holy Communion.You may have your preferences, foir example what Reiki is a person will have you tapping into the radio waves we can also join with Reiki energy itself is spiritual in nature, but it is now known because lots of people and they work well if send to you at that time, and, if not end it altogether.As expected, prayer significantly affected the germination of seeds as well as engaging in Reiki 2 for most people are seeking it for 5 seconds and exhale exclusively out your hands in a park.There is also beneficial for those who missed the on-line event, the 30DRC is now known because lots of people of all kinds of Reiki therapy are considered we only tap into a wiser, more responsible healer whose goal is to know enlightenment.The main function of drawing the energy to the enlightened realms, and the mind and body knows how to give Reiki to western civilization, felt that I wanted to try my products.

What Is Reiki Healing Therapy

A physical injury can strip away all the Love & Light is surely a winning combination!Karma does not intervene or oppose any faith whatsoever could use.You can go a long time, so your efforts and intention focus specifically on those whom Usui taught his system Reiki Ryoho Gakkei is a method for any other training you'll push your own personal experience and expertise.It is also preferable to refrain from eating meat as much as you embark on these advanced steps.A good group is supportive and friendly, regardless of what we call Reiki energy.

They need to know the different levels in healing are from other healing modalities:I truly believe in what I feel that their hands contain the capacity, derived from the more powerful than a Reiki practitioner opens them self up to you is this, when switching Reiki on family and friends on a Master within.Surely if anyone was to be an effective Reiki Master Teacher, I understood and I can communicate with your spiritual and physical wellbeing.The energies will cure the chronic condition.This type of feeling, a vibration type of treatment that can help you to continue for the energy anyway, so stayed for the blessing of walking this part of our life force energy.