#whos the patron saint of bad bitches?

[catholic-character-tournament]

I misread the Rogue post as Rouge and thought it was about Rouge the Bat from Sonic… Rouge is Catholic now (not canon). She goes to church with Vector.

awww a convert! We love those!

[quarterlifekitty]

okay, I had been thinking about but after you commented on my post it’s just— [explodes]

maybe a weaknesses post with the CoD men on your monthly? I’m begging on my knees, I’m sure they (König) could fix me❤️‍🩹✨also thinking about how König probably refers to it as “strawberry week” (German euphemism for it) [explodes pt 2]

Maybe? Machveil. For you? Anything. Also, please look at my favorite period euphemisms, found while researching for this post:

ペリー来航 - Arrival of Matthew Perry

Le petit clown qui saigne du nez - The little clown with a nose bleeding

Weaknesses part 9: the red death

cw: period play, breeding mention, exhibitionism mention

Gaz grew up with a sister— he is no stranger to the ill tidings that come with owning a uterus. He’s a man that probably already has pads and tampons at his place for guests. And Gaz is the kind of son of a bitch who kinda likes it when you’re sick, cause it means he gets to spend time nursing you— so he loves your period. Picking up comfort foods, doing a bit of extra laundry, making sure your vibrator is charged. He calls it “Lady time”.

Soap is not very sympathetic in this matter. He finds it kinda funny, to be honest. He’ll still do anything you ask, but he has a condescending little smile on his face. Calls you his little ketchup packet. Tickles you, knowing it makes you gush a little. That said, he will eat you out during it. His doglike nature knows no bounds. Refers to it as being “on the rag”.

Ghost is like a knight in your royal service when you’ve got a rough menstrual. At your command in any matter, no matter the inconvenience, with no complaint. While he will fuck you and make you cum, it’s purely for your benefit. Blood usually reminds him a bit too much of work for it to be a huge turn on. But he does melt under the praise of “none of my boyfriends before would do this for me— they all said it was gross :(“. Makes him feel like a real man. He calls it Shark Week.

Price feels, in just the tiniest way, like resources have been wasted when you get your period. Like… you’re paying rent on an empty apartment (your baby chamber) when it could be full (with a baby). He’ll never say that, but it’s in the back of his mind. And if you loudly complain about being on you’re period a lot he’ll be like “I know a way to make it stop for a while :{)” (the curly bracket is his mustache). Like man, shut up. Also, blame it on being English, but he’s constantly offering tea for every single symptom. He calls it “code red”.

König. This is a sick man. He feels a bit bad about it, but he does like that your period makes you so slick, and so sensitive— he doesn’t even have to do anything to get you going before he fucks you. Despite his career, he rather likes the look of your blood all over his cock and splashing up his pelvis. And he gets super proud if he’s the first man to ever fuck you on your period. He buys you a big, expensive box of imported chocolate truffles when you’re having a terrible period. Calls it “Erdbeerwoche” (strawberry week).

Nikolai… patron saint of your helplessness. Thinks of your period as a part of his responsibility as your man. Happy wife happy life type of thing. He does a lot of cooking. And he keeps you perched on his thigh at every opportunity for as long as you can stand it. He’s got a hand dipping into your panties and playing with you throughout the day (his non dominant, but that’s never stopped him) while he works, relaxes, entertains guests (Price). Makes you cum until you’re a boneless mess, your blood soaked clean through his jeans. Calls it “Красная шапочка (krasnaya shapochka)” (little red riding hood)

[slamminslamminmcgill]

i really do need more of joel experiencing boypussy, ily for being the whore that you are and expressing it in horny fic form. truly you are a poet of our generation and i thank you 😌

YIPPEE WAHOO YAY TYSM!!!!!! and I need more joel experiencing boypussy so im happy to provide :3

warning: humiliation/degradation, slurs, daddy kink, fauxcest

anatomical terms: cunt/snatch, (t-)dick

he’s bisexual because i said so and i think bc of that he doesn’t need a lot of explanation. he’s probably seen girldick in porn once or twice so he’s at least somewhat familiar w/ trans people. at MOST he’ll be curious and maybe like. a little out of touch

“so… you’re a tranny?”

“well… yeah, but… that word’s kinda like saying faggot. it’s a slur.”

“got it. my bad.”

he’s fascinated by t-dicks. def uses it to torment you.

“go ahead and jerk that tiny li’l dick you got there for me, boy. let’s take a look at you.”

being the southern gentleman he is, i imagine he’d wanna be gentle with women. with dudes he has less restraint. expect to be manhandled.

sometimes he’ll bark an order at you because he likes watching you obey, but most of the time if he wants you to move, he’s grabbing you.

which is very hot when he’s mixing your guts in missionary and he suddenly pulls out, flips you over, shoves your face into the mattress, and starts drilling you doggy style 😵‍💫

he doesn’t talk much or make a lot of noise during sex. he bites your neck/shoulders/nipples to keep himself quiet.

but if he DOES feel like talking???? oh my GOD it’s NASTY!!!!!!!

DADDY KINK DADDY KINK DADDY KINK. i feel like he’d be more into it with dudes tbh??? calling you “boy”, “son”, “kid/kiddo”, “little guy”, “little man”, etc

that’s if you’re being nice. if you’re being a brat, “whore” is his name of choice for you. followed by “slut”, “bitch”, “queer”, “fag”, “pussyboy/cuntboy” and various other nefarious terms. and “tranny” now that he knows what that means >:3

if given the opportunity, he’ll always cum inside whichever hole he’s using. MASSIVE breeding kink, which can turn borderline incest-y in combination with his daddy kink. but it’s not real so who give a shit!!!

“good boy… such a-ngh… such a tight li’l cunt… your daddy’s gonna… your daddy’s gonna knock you up, boy… shoot a biiig fuckin’ load into ya… put a baby brother in this li’l fuckin’ snatch…”

joel miller is the patron saint of post-sex cuddles btw. he’ll check to make sure you’re okay, hold you up against his chest, and then he’s out like a light 😌

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Random Facts About Joan

Bayverse!Raphael x reader

All Children Minerva Ragnar

A/N: Just thought it would be fun to give you a small list of things about each kid, and I hope you guys will find it just as fun❤️

Warnings: None❤️

The name Joan was sort of Raphael’s idea, with a good input from you. Raph would really like to name his children after strong warrior’s but came up short on names. That led you to the name Joan, after Joan of Arc. The patron saint that defended the French nation, who became a military leader. Raph found it fitting, citing that he and his brothers were named after renaissance painters, it made sense to name his first daughter after a martyr from the 1400’s.

Resting bitch face? That is Joan’s standard mode. She’s really inherited her father’s default scowling expression, narrowed eyes and downturned mouth. Paired with the crossing of her arms, she really looked like a small twin to her father.

As per tradition, when Joan turned 15, Splinter granted her a weapon that would serve her the best throughout her life, based on her preferences, her skills and her personality. Her chosen weapon was a pair of kusari-fundo. Chains with weights at the ends. And boy is she good at using them. Romeo was shocked when she almost pulled his odachi out of his hands, just by wrapping one of her chains around the blade.

Joan HATES messes. Especially in her room. She can’t take it. Her room is always clean, and she rarely lets people in there (all though it has happened that people snuck their way in. Looking at Dorothy here…), because she can’t take the thought of people messing up her things. Just don’t touch her things, unless you wish to lose a finger.

When Joan turned 13, your husband decided it was a good idea to get your first born a punching bag, especially after seeing how much she liked to use his. And that turned out to be an amazing idea, with Joan wanting it set up in her room the moment she got it.

Raph’s old boxing gloves? They’re Joan’s now. She got them/stole them, so that she could practice on her own punching bag.

It is no secret that Joan is a tough one. Actually, she might even be tougher than her own father, with an absolute iron will. Back when Joan was a young, half human half mutant turtle toddler, there was no such thing as Joan moving in order to get to Raph. No, Raph would have to move in order to get to her. She could be standing on the other side of the room, locking eyes with your husband when he was sitting on the couch, and then raise her arms, letting him know that she wanted him to carry her to the couch. And guess what, Raph would do it. Which later on would cause a lot of troubles with your second born, but that is not what we’re talking about today.

Okay, maybe Joan isn’t the toughest cookie in the world, but she is damn tough. But, she does have guilty pleasures that could be classified as more “soft”. Joan is secretly a big fan of Twilight. She has all the books and all the movies, and will watch them in her room in secret. But how did she get those books and movies without anybody knowing? Well, you’ll have to ask Joan about that.

But Joan’s absolute devastation, there was a time where Dorothy came bursting into her room, looking for a hiding spot, right in the middle of Breaking Dawn part 1. And that was how Dorothy came to know of her cousin's secret, promising not to tell anyone… if she could borrow the movies whenever she wanted to.

Ooooooooh! Who often sneaks out to the city at night? Joan does that! Who does it even if her father says it’s bad? Joan does that! But doesn’t care because humans are fun. Joan does that! And at 20 has a boyfriend from above? Joan does that!

Now back to some more family oriented. Joan LOVES spending time with her grandparents. She could be drinking tea with Master Splinter before one on one training, or spend the weekend with your parents, and she would be having the time of her life.

To most people, tough cookie Joan might seem unapproachable, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Well, that was if you knew her. As the oldest of three, she tended to be protective of her younger siblings. With a four year difference between her and Minerva, and a seven year difference between Joan and Ragnar, it was natural for her to take on a parental role at times. Even if it wasn’t needed with you and Raph around. It did happen from time to time, each time because Joan wanted what was best for her younger siblings.

[docholligay]

I qualified for this 10k by the skin of my fucking teeth. The gal who won my age group last year ran it in something like 43 minutes and change. I know that anything above DFL puts me in pretty decent company.

But, I'm so nervous, and I feel so undertrained. I'm afraid I'll get out there and flop. I am carrying fun mental images in my head to think of instead of how hard I'm running (A la Minako singing "Good Luck Babe!" to Rei--If you have any others I would love them) and I made a fun playlist, and my outfit is laid out. I think I'm as ready as I can be, and I'm going to go to bed early.

There's a reason that it's not Haruka who is my patron saint of racing, because that bitch was Born Fast, and she's fucking great. Lena is the patron saint of "We can't possibly win this, but why should that stop me?" and of tenacity. Swing above your weight class, and maybe sometime you might win.

It's not often I expect to come in the bottom 50%, and where I will be pleased not to be in the bottom 25%. I'm not sure that's happening for me unless a lot of people have a bad day, and it could happen--It's a bad course, it's a hot day layered on hot days and a lot of people's training has been affected.

But I am choosing to be proud of myself for TRYING. Whatever else happens, I am getting out there and letting myself quite possibly fail BOLDLY, and that takes more courage than knowing you've got it.

LET'S FUCKING DO THIS. NO ONE LIVES FOREVER. DO IT SCARED. DO IT THROWING UP. BUT FUCKING DO IT.

[crimsonwolf715]

The Angel of Misfortune

(Part 3 of the Patron Saint of Hunters series)

The Impala stalls and doesn’t start. 

“What’s wrong, Baby?” Dean asks as he tries to start the Impala again. 

He gets out and goes to the hood. 

“What’s the problem?” Sam shouts after a minute. 

“Nothing that I can see.” 

“Maybe she’s just being finicky. Bad luck for us if she is.” 

“There’s no such thing as bad luck,” Cas says. 

“Well then you come figure out what’s wrong with Baby,” Dean snaps. 

Cas walks over, “Dean.” 

“Yes?” 

“I barely know what kind of car this is. I don’t have any idea how cars run,” Cas says. 

Dean shows Cas each thing and how it runs. 

“I’ll show you again when everything’s running properly so you know that everything’s right, but this is the basics.” Dean shuts the hood. “Try starting the car, Sammy!” 

Sam leans over and turns the key. The car starts, filling the silence with the sound of the engine. 

“See? She just needed a minute,” Dean says. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road. We’re gonna be late to see Bobby.” 

Ben walks into Cas’ room to find him looking over his tools. “Hey.” 

Cas looks up, “Hello, Ben. What can I do for you?” 

“I wanted to check on you.” 

“I don’t need anything. I thought I said that last night.” 

“Yeah, but just in case you changed your mind.” 

“I haven’t.” Cas looks back at his tools. 

“You got a case?” Ben asks. 

“No, I plan on looking for one once I get out of town,” Cas answers. 

“Well, I have a possible case you could check out.” 

“What is it?” 

“It’s this string of deaths that happen in absurd manners. It’s like karma hit them like a truck. One died by tripping on marbles that they spilled and hit their head on the one side of the table that just happened not to have a rubber cap on it.” 

“Do we know of any monsters that can do that?” Cas asks. 

Ben shakes his head, “No, but we do know of a few magical objects that could cause something like that to happen.” 

“I’ll look into it.” 

“Thank you, Cas,” Ben replies. “Thanks for coming by too. Serenity and Adalynn were thrilled to see you.” 

“I always enjoy seeing them.” 

Cas packs everything up and heads downstairs with Ben. The girls, who were eating breakfast, run over and hug Cas, who gently pats their heads. 

“Come see us again soon,” Serenity says. 

“Yeah, and bring treats with you,” Adalynn adds. 

Cas gives them a small smile, “I will do what I can. Have Ben text me what treats you like.” 

“We will,” they say in unison. 

They run back over to Ben and Cas heads to the Impala. He puts his bag in the back and then climbs into the driver’s seat. Ben, Serenity, and Adalynn wave to him as he drives off. He drives to the town in Kansas and stops at a motel first. After setting up and changing clothes, he heads to the police station. Cas walks into the police station and shows them his badge. 

“Oh, you must be that girl’s partner,” the person at the front desk says. “She didn’t say that she was waiting on her partner.” 

Cas nods, not knowing what to say. It’s possible that it’s another hunter, but it may be the actual FBI. He follows the officer to the evidence room where he sees the back of a woman looking through an evidence box. The officer leaves, leaving Cas alone with her. He recognizes her, even though he shouldn’t. 

“Emmy.” 

Emily turns and smiles. “Castiel, it’s a pleasure. How long has it been?” 

“Somewhere near forty years. How do you still look so young?” Cas asks. 

“Funny story actually,” Emily answers. “I got attacked by this thing and I think it meant to kill me, but instead I can’t die. Didn’t notice originally but then something stabbed me so I had to go to a hospital and my heart rate stayed perfect regardless if something was happening that definitely would have raised my heart rate. Through more trial and error, I figured out that fatal injuries just hurt like a bitch. I also don’t age, not really sure on that one, but I tried reaching out to you.” 

“I got a new number after the Winchesters died. You could have tried calling out to me.” 

“Yeah, I don’t really get that. Do I just talk to you or is there something more?” 

“You just talk to me like a prayer. Or if that makes you uncomfortable, like a letter.” 

“Like, ‘Dear Castiel, please come talk to me because I’m somehow unable to die’?” Emily asks. 

“Something like that,” Cas answers. 

“I’m really sorry about the boys and Bobby, Cas.” 

“I don’t want to talk about that. How have you been? It’s been forty years since I’ve seen you, you must have stories to tell.” 

“I’ve been as fine as I can be. One of my friends from college died recently so I am being faced with everyone else’s mortality. The other stuff is too long and we’ve got a case to work. Do you have any ideas on what this could be?” 

“From what I currently know? No, I don’t. We’ll have to talk to the families to see if we can get an idea of what this could be.” 

“Alright. I’ve got all of the addresses from the files, so let’s go. Can I drive?” 

“No.” 

The two head out to the Impala. 

The first four families are all the same story. Perfectly normal stuff going on before the bouts of bad luck. They weren’t religious and didn’t believe in black magic. There was nothing in any of the houses that could have been used to create a magic item. As they drive up to the fifth and final victim’s house, Emily sighs dramatically. 

“Do we have to go in? Can’t we just assume that they don’t have anything either and find some kind of monster that does this shit?” Emily asks. 

“We have to follow every lead that we can,” Cas answers. “Come on.” 

Cas gets out of the Impala, then walks over to Emily’s side and opens the door. 

“Thank you, sir,” Emily says sarcastically, then gets out of the car. 

Cas shuts the door and locks it while Emily walks up to the porch. He meets her up there since she’s waiting to knock. 

“If they don’t know anything, you’re buying me drinks to help with research,” Emily says quietly. 

“Deal,” Cas replies. 

The door is opened by a dark haired woman in her thirties. “Ms. Jordan?” Cas asks. 

She nods. Emily and Cas show her their badges. 

“He’s Agent Hamill and I’m Agent Fisher with the FBI. We’re investigating the deaths,” Emily says. “Can we come in and ask you a few questions?” 

She nods again, then opens the door wider and motions for them to come in. Once everyone’s taken a seat, Cas asks if anything strange was happening. Before Ms. Jordan has a chance to answer, his phone starts ringing. He looks at it and it’s Ben. 

“I have to take this, it’s important.” He gets up and walks to the corner of the room and answers. 

“Uncle Cas?” Serenity’s voice comes through the line, sounding scared. 

“Serenity? What happened? Are you all alright?” Cas asks, stepping out of the room and onto the porch. 

“Neal’s here, and he’s fighting with Daddy,” she says, then starts crying. “He said he’s gonna kill Daddy.” 

“What? I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Cas can hear the phone switch hands. 

“Cas?” Ben asks. 

“What is Neal doing?” Cas asks. “If he threatened the girls at all…” 

“He didn’t. He showed up to see them and he was drunk, so I said he couldn’t see them. He threatened me and said he’d take them, but I clocked him in the jaw and he left for now. I’ve got everything handled. I’m sorry Serenity called.” 

“You’re sure that you’ve got everything handled? You know what I said I’d do if he threatened your girls again.” 

“Hey, it’s fine. He didn’t threaten them at all. I’m pretty sure you set him straight last time. While they’re his girls, I have custody of them. If I have to get the courts involved, I will. I’m not shying away from a legal battle with him. I’m gonna let you go now, so you can finish your case. I’ve got this handled though.” 

“Alright. If something else happens, call me.” 

“I will. Bye, Cas.” 

“Bye.” 

Ben hangs up, so Cas goes back inside. 

“Everything alright, Agent Hamill?” Ms. Jordan asks. 

“Yes. Family problems, but they worked themselves out,” Cas answers. 

Cas sits back down next to Emily, who looks a little confused but turns her attention back to Ms. Jordan. 

“You were saying that your husband and his friends were together the entire day before his death?” 

“Yes. He originally said that he was going to see his sister, but I checked the location on his phone when he didn’t answer and saw that he was with them.” 

“Does he do that often?” Cas asks. 

“Yes,” Ms. Jordan answers, “It’s one of the reasons we still weren’t married. He kept promising to change and now he’s dead.” 

Emily offers her a tissue and she takes it. “Do you have that address? We should check it out to make sure that nothing was going on that could have someone going after him.” 

Ms. Jordan nods, then grabs a notepad to write it down. Once they have the address, they say their goodbyes, then head out. They walk down the driveway towards the Impala. 

“What actually happened?” Emily asks once they’re down the driveway. 

“Family issues,” Cas answers. “Ben’s son came looking for his girls while drunk and Ben had to deck him.” 

“Ben?” 

“Ben Braeden. Dean raised him for a while with his mother. He found me a while ago and has been in contact with me since. I’ve known those girls since they were infants, and I won’t let their father hurt them.” 

“So you have a family?” 

“No, I don’t keep people around. They’re the exceptions to the rule. I’m not close with them, but I keep in contact with them and see them when I can.” 

“So arm’s length?” 

Cas nods as they get in the car. 

“So we’ve interviewed all of the witnesses and it’s leading us towards some kind of spell or talisman,” Emily says. 

“That sounds right. Let’s head back to my room and do some research,” Cas replies, starting the car. 

They head back to the motel that Cas set up shop in and start looking through all of the records that he has. After several hours, several packs of beer, and food for Emily, Emily laughs. 

“I think I found it,” Emily says. “This right here says that you can make a charm that gives the person holding it immense good luck, at the expense of the people around them. Basically, it’s supposed to be absorbing some kind of energy that constitutes luck from the people around the user. Since it was a group of friends that were killed, that leaves the last remaining one. There’s one problem though.” 

“What?” Cas asks. 

“The stuff to make this is expensive and hard to find. How could some guy on a normal paycheck find and buy this stuff?” 

“I wouldn’t know. We can find out when we get there. Ms. Jordan said that they had a spot that they hung out at, right?” Cas replies as he gets up. 

“Yep,” Emily answers. “I’ve still got the address.” 

“Give me the address.” 

Emily rattles off the address as they head back out to the Impala. The car ride to what turned out to be a warehouse is completely silent beside the sound of the engine and the tires on the road. The duo get out and head towards the warehouse. 

“Do you hear that?” Emily asks, stopping walking to look around. 

Cas stops and listens closely. He can hear something, but he isn’t sure what it is. He sees the flash of something falling on the edge of his vision and Emily quietly yelps. He turns and there’s a pipe in her arm. 

“Oh, my immortality,” Emily sighs, pulling the pipe out of her arm. “At least I don’t have to worry about dying from an infection.” 

Once they’re inside, they can hear someone counting. Cas slips on a spot on the floor and Emily grabs his arm so he doesn’t fall. 

“Thank you,” Cas whispers. 

She nods, then the two head towards the voice. They find Beck, the last remaining member of the friend group, counting hundred dollar bills while sitting at a fold-out table. 

“Beck Hudson,” Cas says. 

Beck gets up and turns. “Who are you? What are you doing here? This is private property.” 

Cas pulls his badge out of his pocket, but the tip snags on the edge and he drops it. Emily snorts, trying not to laugh as Cas grabs his badge off the ground. 

“Are you bleeding?” Beck asks. 

Emily glances at her arm, “Yeah. We’re FBI. We know what you’ve been up to. You need to stop.” 

Beck looks at the charm in his hand then back at them, shaking his head. “I can’t let my wife down. I have to get as much stuff as I can before I get rid of this. She’ll never forgive me if we can’t have the life she wants.” 

“You’ve killed all of your friends for that ?” Emily asks. 

“What?” Beck asks. “They’re dead? Is that why they aren’t answering my calls anymore?” 

“Yes,” Cas answers, trying more tact than Emily to avoid a fight, “because of that charm, you’re giving such bad luck to the people around you that they’re dying.” 

“I’m killing my friends?” 

“If you give us the charm, we can destroy it. It’ll never hurt anyone again,” Emily says, picking up on the tact and walking towards Beck slowly. 

Beck takes a step back, “I can’t, not yet. Once I have everything, then I’ll hand it over.” 

“You want to murder more innocent people?” Cas asks. 

“I’m not murdering anybody!” 

Cas strides over to Beck and right before he gets to him, he slips on nothing and falls onto his back. Cas curses in Enochian as he sits up. Beck starts running and Emily runs after him. 

“Hold on!” Cas shouts. “We need something to counteract the charm!” 

He gets up and makes sure he’s steady before running after them. 

What could counteract something like that? I could try using my grace to temporarily neutralize it. Can I do that? We’ll have to see.  

He gets out there and Emily’s handcuffed, looking in a great deal of pain. 

“What happened?” Cas asks. 

“I fell and somehow handcuffed myself,” Emily answers. 

Cas sighs, then looks for Beck. He’s standing with his back against the warehouse. 

“Shut your eyes,” Cas whispers. 

He glances and sees that Emily’s eyes are closed, then stretches his arm out and creates a blinding light. Cas strides over to Beck and grabs his arm as the light disappears. Cas makes his angel blade appear and cuts Beck’s hand off, catching the hand and charm in the other hand. Beck starts screaming bloody murder while Emily just stares in shock. Cas takes the charm out of Beck’s severed hand, then reattaches Beck’s hand. 

Cas drops the charm on the ground and pours holy oil on it. He pulls out Dean’s lighter and flicks it open. Beck seems to realize what Cas is about to do because he tries to crawl over to it. Cas drops the lighter and the charm roars into a burning blaze. Beck cries out as if he had been lit on fire, then watches the fire start to die down. Cas picks the lighter up and after dusting it off, puts it back in his pocket. 

Beck continues to cry as Emily walks over to Cas. “That was badass.” 

Cas taps the handcuffs and they drop to the ground. “Thank you, I think.” 

Cas goes over and grabs Beck by the collar. He starts trying to get away from Cas. 

“How did you make that charm?” Cas asks. “I didn’t make it. It was mailed to me. I don’t know who sent it, but that it worked so well that I didn’t care,” Beck answers, still crying. “Please don’t kill me.” 

Cas sighs, then turns to Emily, “We should probably get him home.” 

“Oh yeah, I don’t want to deal with that anymore,” Emily replies. 

Cas flies him to his front porch. He’s not crying anymore. Instead, he looks shocked. Cas leaves without a word to Beck and lands right next to Emily, who’s investigating the pile of ash on the ground. 

“Hello.” 

He watches Emily flinch, but chooses not to comment since he did land so close to her. 

“Where should I drop you off?” Cas asks. 

“Why don’t we have a drink and chat for a bit?” Emily replies. “I’ll buy.” 

“Works for me. We can find where the bar is here, but you should get patched up and change first.” 

“Sounds like a plan to me, Cas.” 

After ordering and receiving their drinks, Emily and Cas sit down. 

“I want to talk about your problems, Cas.” 

“That feels like a pointless conversation, but we can attempt it,” Cas replies. 

“Arm’s length isn’t gonna work forever,” Emily says. “You’re hurting and that’s fair, but you’ll only hurt worse when you have no one. When everyone that tried is gone and you’re left alone, Cas.” 

Cas sighs, “I think I’ll manage.” 

“I don’t think you will. That hurt that you feel is only gonna get worse when Ben’s gone. Yes, he’s not constantly with you and that leaves you open to a bit of the pain you’re gonna feel when he’s gone, but it’s gonna be so much worse. Look, I know you, Cas. I know that you want to avoid pain as much as you can. Big feelings are hard.” 

“I don’t know that I can get closer. If I spend too long there, all I can think about is how much Ben is like Dean and Sam. He’s not a lot like Bobby outside of how he helps me on hunts, but I see so much of those two in him and it scares me.” 

“Understable. Do you want another drink?” 

Cas shakes his head. Emily gets up and walks over to get another one for herself. Cas looks out the window towards the Impala. All of the memories with the boys, they felt like too much sometimes. 

“Maybe getting rid of the car would help,” Emily says as she sits back down. 

The reply is quick and sharp, “I’d rather kill someone.” 

“Interesting comparison, but duly noted.” 

“Sorry, I just can’t.” 

“It’s fine. I keep things from my friends too. It just looks to be a little too much for you. Take what you need, give what you don’t. Don’t burden yourself.” 

Cas nods. 

“But I have to go. I have to get to my friend’s birthday party. She said she would murder me if I was available and didn’t show up. It’s an empty threat, but I’m gonna go anyway.” 

“How do you explain this to your friends?” Cas asks. 

“Wonderful skincare routine,” Emily answers, getting up. “I’ll see you when I see you, Cas.” 

“Goodbye, Emmy.” 

She leaves and Cas finishes his drink before getting up. He goes out to the Impala, then drives out onto the open road.

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

anyway, MY read of the St. Cyprian and St. Justina myth is that our guy--Cyprian, who is not yet a saint but who will become the patron saint of working mages--is getting his ass handed to him by the young maiden he's supposed to be compelling on behalf of his client and at some point he realizes he has more in common with Justina than he does his bitch ass client, and therefore switches teams. this resonates because we all know clients suck bad. follow me for more super accurate hagiography.

[catty-words]

Do you mind if I do multiple?👀 (you can totally just pick one, sorry if it's a lot😅)

Fall Out Boy-

Take This to Your Grave

From Under the Cork Tree

Infinity on High

oh, fuck yes, the big three. you get me 🖤

take this to your grave:

grand theft autumn / where is your boy (the basic bitch choice? maybe. but i cannot deny the spike of energy this one gives me)

tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today (one of their best openers !!!)

chicago is so two years ago

the pros and cons of breathing

sending postcards from a plane crash (wish you were here)

dead on arrival

the patron saint of liars and fakes

homesick at space camp

grenade jumper and/or reinventing the wheel to run myself over (they're on par, ya know?)

calm before the storm

saturday

from under the cork tree:

dance, dance (i think? damn. i didn't realize this was my favorite cork tree single but. okay. OKAY.)

sugar, we're going down (iconic showstopping never before the same)

7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen)

a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me

nobody puts baby in the corner

xo

sophomore slump or comeback of the year

get busy living or get busy dying (do your part to save the scene and stop going to shows)

i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (summer song)

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued

of all the gin joints in all the world and/or i slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me

infinity on high:

thnks fr th mmrs

fame < infamy

you're crashing but you're no wave

don't you know who i think i am?

the take over, the breaks over

hum hallelujah

i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers

this ain't a scene, it's an arms race

the (after) life of the party

the carpal tunnel of love

golden

i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (me & you)

thriller

bang the doldrums

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode Seven- The Battle Axe of Hatred

My relisten notes

- DadFact: Glenn knows Japanese because he took a Duolingo Course in preparation for a Japan Tour (pre Christmas cover band!!!!!)

- DadFact: Darryl’s sister Casey owns a massively successful brewer (The Brew Dude) (in North Carolina)

- DadFact: Ron has never played dnd, but he has played Seen It

- DadFact: Henry does geology themed Rap Songs!!!! YESSS ROCKS ROCK!!! THE ACTUAL BEST THING IVE EVER HEARD AHHHH

- DaddyFact: He likes playing dnd with doofuses

- Racism Doesn’t Rock

- I listen to Rocks Rock a lot genuinely

- He has to steal his future dad :c

- Henry sniffed the flowers 😭

- Henry with the drugflowers omg

- “YOU KISSED ME” Henry good god

- Darryl kisses Henry and then gets drugged too omg omg 😂

- I’m dying

- Jesus Christ

- Darryl and his Charleston Chews…

- DARRYL HEARS GRANT. HYPOCRISY IS A BITCH

- The Library and Scam and Mark only exist because of the war flesh thing

- Darryl didn’t ask about the Blood Contract to the Library 😭

- I love how Anthony keeps saying “I’m Cern” to let them know it’s Cern since he didn’t change his voice

- THEY ALL PUT THEIR HANDS IN THE MIDDLE (except Freddie) hehehe

- I love how Glenn keeps doing “dad huddles” in front of people (and typically those are super uncool) so either canonically everyone thinks Glenn does this super uncool thing, or Dad Huddles are canonically cool in the Forgotten Realms (I know Cern and Paeden find them cool, but they reallly aren’t the best gage to rank)

- The fact that Darryl imedietly wanted Nick to not have a knife but let’s Paeden (who’s FaoUR YEARS younger than him) have his most of the time, AND grant use weapons a shitton

- Darryl brought up pee!!!! Lincoln would be so proud!!!!

- The pee starts in ep. 7!!!! And ci tinged into literally all of s2!!!

- Paeden and Lincoln (thankfully not Grant) reap the consequences of this…

- SCAM LIKELY AYYYYYYY AHAHSHSJDJ

- I LOVE SCAM SO MUCH AHHHH

- “We’re cousins~ “

- Scam is a patron saint of the Tricksters

- SCAM OMG HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY I ADORE HIM

- The hat of vermin!!!! Ayyy

- They forget like HALF of these rules for the Hat of Vermin 😭

- Sonar 🐀 Nibbler 🦇 and Dracula 🐀 omg

- Ron rolled an 11 for his pee, Henry rolled a 17, Glenn rolled a 1? He didn’t go very well, Darryl got a 19 pee

- NAT 20 STEALTH PEE

- THE WILSONS REALLY ARE PISSBOYS

- Cern is canonically short?

- GLENN TRIES TO KEEP NICK SAFE HE TRIES HE TRIES TO KEEP HIM BEHIND

- This plan ends up SO BAD I love it it introduces us to Paeden

- A good antidrug message 👍

[thosesillylittlegayghosts]

Episode 4 thoughts

Not Vasiliy seeing mal and Alina kiss THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PUBLICLY KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN YOUR ENGAGED

Also nikolais mum is really pushing the whole he’s legitimate thing isn’t she

INEJS VOICE BREAKING INTO KAZS FLASHBACK WHERE EARLIER IT WAS JORDIE

I FEEL LIKE WE ARE BUILDING UP TO KAZ IMAGINING INEJS BODY

“It would bring me some comfort to know that you’re with me” my kanej heart is being fed

Kaz just wanting Inej to be safe if he dies versus Inej just wanting to get revenge for Kaz if he dies

The patron Saint of brewers

A LITTLE LIGHT ROLEPLAY

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE

SOMETIMES BROTHERS FIGHT

YES TO ALL OF THAT SHUT UP THEYRE BROTHERS

We like to keep our expectations low!

Nina bestie don’t knock out Kaz

Also there’s no way we’re getting a soc spin off for crooked kingdom cause they’re using half the plotline

David’s little wave 😭I love him

Oh god David feels so bad about genya

Whoever I saw on here that called the sword a round of applause for you

So know nikolais gonna hire the crows right?

Mal calling Nikolai out on the third person

Nina bestie stop it. He’s probably just gonna kill you anyway

Can’t really blame Kaz for Nina not being loyal they’ve known each other a week

Yes Inej slay

This is how she’s gonna find her purpose

She’s not gonna get her ship at the end of this season is she? She might

This is when Kaz is gonna bring up his son ain’t it

See they’ve already used the plague thing so we literally cannot get a crooked kingdom spin off

Ahah that where the shiner comes from

Omg no not Jordie already having the plague when the sirens went off

Slay Kaz

OMG YES HIM AND NINA PLANNED IT

NOW I KNOW HOW JESPER AND INEJ FEEL

OMG YES GO KAZ USE HIS SON

Ngl kinda prefer when Kaz didn’t use his name cause then pekka was just being gullible

Calling pekka weak as if he’s not in love with Inej

Also shout out to whoever said Kaz was gonna use alby in every monstrous thing

OMG OMG WE GOT THE SCENE

I CANNOT

Kaz saying all of this with blood running down his face really makes it

THEY LITERALLY LIFTED HALF IT FROM THE BOOKS AND I LOVE THAT

Nina and Jesper just watching this shitshow go down

He better get on his knees

YESSSSS

‘Are you’ I FUCKING LOVE HIM

ngl I kinda forgot they were being framed for murder

Omg yeah the bitch is dead

YESSS GET INEJ FREED TOO

Ok but this means that he didn’t liquidate all his assets to free her

It also means they can’t really do six of crows either cause heleens the one who recognises them at the ice court

Thick as thieves, lol

YES THE KOOPEROM

Where was Inej in that scene with pekka though?

YES TOLYA AND POETRY MY TRUE OTP

Shit okay vasily really wanted rid of mal

Alinas dress looks gorgeous

OMG VASILY NO LEAVE RN

Slay Alina

Bitch you talking a hell of a lot for someone who gets himself killed

Also I forgot vasily proposed 😭

We love Alina wiping her hand on her dress

OMG YES WE GET PEKKA DIGGING WITH HIS HANDS

What’s actually in the grave though

OMG YES THE STADWATCH

Hahahahahaha alby

WESPER

IS JESPER ASKING HIM OUT

OMG THEY ACTUALLY HOOKED UP

NOT WYLAN LOW-KEY SLUT SHAMING JESPER 😭

We better get the just girls scene in a flashback or something

OMG JESPER YES

WYLAN TRYING TO HIDE HIS SMILE

OMFG THEY KISSED!!!!!!

THE SCREECH I JUST LET OUT

OMG THEYRE GONNA KISS

My heart is beating so fucking fast right now

AND OMG RIGHT INTO A KANEJ SCENE?!!

HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD

NO KAZ WHAT OH WAIT YEAH BE FREED HER

SHIT

Wait hold up does wylan know about the stablehand?!

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU QUOTE ME

Jesus that is a big rock

NIKOLAI

‘If my mother was as put off by commoners as she claimed I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

Lol vasilys dead

Darkling honestly needs to die already

Genya smashing things as she deserves

I did not expect that to be the context of ‘I’ll destroy the only thing you have left’ and honestly im a bit disappointed she wasn’t threatening him

[baenxietydad]

Swynrpwrimo Task #16 - Character #Inspo

Find five existing fictional characters who remind you of your character (or who inspired your character) and write a little bit about how that character relates to your own.

[tracker]

Eight characters that inspired or reflect Marlin

Woo Gwang-ho (Extraordinary Attorney Woo) / Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place) / Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) / Dorothy Zbornak (Golden Girls) / Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) / Appa (Kim's Convenience) / Aziraphale (Good Omens) / Baek Isak (Pachinko)

Woo Gwang-ho - The way they love!! Their children!! And he's a single dad! Gwang-ho's daughter is also disabled (autistic) like Nemo is (his wing) and he will not abide his daughter being treated poorly because of it and I love that for Gwang-ho and Marlin both. And the way they both gave up things important to them for their childrens' sake. Gwang-ho, his career as a lawyer. Marlin, his home country.

Chidi Anagonye - Look at that ball of existential dread and tell me that ain't Marlincore. I rest my case.

Joel Hammond - Joel is SO Marlin! The one-liners are simply /*chef's kiss*/ and it's the way he literally would and does do murder for his wife lmao. Your man would never.

Dorothy Zbornak - This is more inner Marlin than outer Marlin, but god Marlin really is...such a bitch <3 respectfully to mother Dorothy, patron saint of queen bitches <3

Lorelai Gilmore - Lorelai/Rory is such Marlin/Nemo energy! They're best friends<3 They love each other SO much and are super close, they sometimes just be hanging out like besties especially now that Nemo's twenty.

Appa - So, this is more so Appa's relationship with Janet in the show than the whole character. But his relationship with his daughter Janet is very Marlin and Nemo! The character as a whole does have Marlin vibes but especially that character relationship!

Aziraphale - This one is a little more you need to squint. But! Ahem, allow me. Aziraphale is bad at being an angel despite that simply being what he is. Marlin is often regarded as being "bad" at being a fairy, with his slightly individualistic tendencies. At the same time he's inherently "bad" at the human world because he's a Hollow-raised fairy. He's a little bit of a bastard, not enough to make him a terrible person, and a lot of it is internal or only comes out when talking shit to people he's close to but he honestly IS a little more mean-spirited than a fairy is expected to be.

Baek Isak - Y'all need to read this book and watch the Apple TV show! It's so good!!! Isak is such Marlincore. For Isak and Marlin both, enabling their wives and children to have a chance at a good life is the most important thing; neither man is ever motivated by the desire for his own success or his own happiness. Marlin cares a little bit about enjoying himself -- primarily with friendships and his hobbies, but it's still secondary to Nemo's needs and wants.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

Which female horror archetype are you?

the heroine

the ingenue, the maiden, the madonna. you're feared because of your cleverness. like the survivor, you're often the target of terrible horrors, but unlike her, you find your strength in knowledge instead of physical endurance. your patron saint is reiko asakawa. you're most compatible with the she-beast, whose torment could be eased by your gentle touch.

What kind of supervillain is your muse?

lovestruck henchman to the big bad

just like smee and captain hook <3 but yeah, you're not a huge baddie yourself. you're in this for the love of the one closest to you, a noble and miserable cause--but your fierce loyalty knows no limits. you will not hesitate to hurt those who pose any threat to your favorite. your devotion will devour you. your villainy is at its core, a loving tragedy.

If you were a deity what would be your domain?

Warfare and the Forge

You are the divine patron of battle, conflict, and the weapons forged to fight them. You are quick to temper and obstinate in disposition, and you also govern heroic attributes such as strength, courage, and honor. Due to your domain’s ability to bring widespread death and suffering, much of the mortal realm often looks upon you with fear and disdain. However, you also give life to transformative and regenerative forces such as revolution and rebellion, and your innovative forge has birthed vital technologies of science, beauty and prosperity alongside its spears and armor. Mortals look to you for bravery and prowess in battle as well as skilled craftsmanship, and your mythological equivalents are Greece’s Ares and Hephaestus, Scandinavia’s Odin, Egypt’s Sobek, and Mesoamerica’s Huītzilōpōchtli.

What kind of touch do you possess?

powerful touch

you leave me breathless. you are someone that is destined to do great things. everything you do is with a purpose and dedication. you are a powerful presence that leaves their mark on the world. focused, confident, and striking is how others would describe you. others come to you for trustworthy advice and honest opinions. you have few that you consider close and whom you will open up to. you often push down your emotions and put up a strong persona because you are scared of vulnerability. you protect others hard and your heart harder. i love you, bad bitch.

Which Rage Language Are You?

step back

usually, you're able to bottle up your emotions and ignore the frustrations. but, after weeks of shoving everything down, your body needs a release, and i pity the poor person who managed to piss you off. it's screaming crying, shouting, kicking lockers, whatever you can do to get it out of your system. it's a whole jean grey moment, fire and fury blasting out of you.

What chess piece represents you?

White Rook

You are a White Rook. As a piece that can move inwards and outwards, you're a master of self-reflection. You know what needs to be done and when to do it. You're a protector, and would willingly take someone's place in danger in a heartbeat because you know you can handle the pressure. But even castle walls crumble. For all your chivalry and fortitude, everything must come to an end. Will you be there to see the final stages of the war? Or will you have already been discarded in the battle?

what brand of stupid are you?

Confidently stupid

You think you are the smartest person on earth as you put your spoon in the microwave to make it easier to scoop ice cream. You give awful advice that sounds smart when spoken but terrible when executed. You insist on doing things yourself and are so absolutely sure you are doing everything right. Your confidence gives you charm, as well as the bravery to do the dumb things that you do

Why Do You Hurt?

you're choking on how much you have to try

you have tried. you have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders and accepted more responsibilities than you have ever wanted, even intended to gain. it isn't crushing - you are strong enough to hold it - but you are choking. you don't know what to do with it. you don't know where it goes, how to move this weight everyone knows you can hold onto, and do you even want to get rid of it? Never. You would not give this to - force this on - anyone else. but you /can't/. but you are choking on it. your body will hold it up even when you lose all the air in your lungs, and your footing, and your courage. it does not mind choking you. it seems almost designed to do so. if you weren't wrung out you wouldn't be doing this thing properly.

[thrustin-timberlake]

I am the patron saint of Seeing The Best In Things. I think anyone who’s spoken to me one-on-one could confirm that. I’ve said, “well, but I DID like [SINGULAR THING]” about a lot of objectively bad pieces of media.

I have…nothing. Do you know how bad something has to be for me to feel the need to, unprompted, bitch about a nothing issue in its own post? That I like, NEED to talk about how mad I am I listened to this? I’m furious. Oh my GOD.

I just heard a song so bad I don't think I have imposter syndrome anymore. I didn’t have any blocked artists on spotify before this moment but I truly cannot risk being “recommended” this dude again

[stylishanachronism]

Things I did this week instead of working on my shawl (which for the record is 60 rows in so I’m making good time don’t judge me):

-Got into two separate new podcasts, one of which I dropped for being not spooky and then sort of dumb, and the other of which is excellent (and ominous) but comes in very very short bites

-Wrote a lot about Eder knitting a shawl (and separately and not as much, a sock), because that’s a whole thing, and I’d say I’m going to convert the fandom but tbh I’d have to... interact with more of y’all and I’m shy as shit so tough luck me I guess

-Refrained from leaping over the counter and murdering any of my customers, which I feel was very magnanimous of me, and also something of a miracle, please do not lie about my service to my face, I am in fact the same person who’s been here all morning.

-Played Return of the Obra Dinn, which is in a word perfect, and if you haven’t played it yet you should drop everything and do so, holy shit

-Worked so much overtime, my manager is going to be so pissed, but he can’t do shit because he was the one who scheduled me this way

[callmearcturus]

im the patron saint of stoking petty fires so i'd love to hear your beef with TLOU and ND (which. idk what that is? my brain keeps trying to call it New Degas). feel free to rant

(hey this is a WHOLEASS RANT about how much i hate TLOU! if you even remotely like those games, maybe don't read this!)

my god. lottie. /drags hands over face. you need to understand that this is the beef of a person who has not played TLOU, will never play it, and haaaaaates it regardless. when TLOU2 won GOTY at the fucking game awards over more deserving titles with less fraught developers, i was incensed. i hate this games in the same was a child would hate broccoli. except instead of being good for you, broccoli is an emblem of everything wrong with the gaming industry, up there with Red Dead Redemption (which I fucking hate too).

Oh and ND is Naughty Dog, the developer of TLOU. Also there is some fucked up labor shit and sexual harassment shit at ND.

But what it comes down to is

I fucking hate prestige games as a genre. I hate what they have done to the industry. One of the markers of TLOU and ND's work is that they have codified what the Sony Studio Game has to be, and it's these incredibly cinematic, incredibly filmic, hyper-photorealistic dramas that want so fucking bad to be movies, I don't know how anyone talks shit about Kojima's movie boner while these fucking things are being made.

The cost that the rise of TLOU has wrought on the industry pisses me off to no end. Developers, especially the ones who work with Sony bc this is very much the House Brand of Playstation, fucking brag about "oh yeah we spent 6 months building the rig to animate this character's hair" and "we modeled these horses with such precision their balls get smaller in the cold" and "this lighting engine accounts for the dew point of the scene which we also coded an engine for"

all these things feel to me like feats of crunch, of throwing money at problems that don't exist, because it's a fucking blurb to tell IGN to hype your game, not anything the actual game benefits from or needs. making games is already such a fucking labor intensive artform and this shit feels like adding completely unnecessary complication in pursuit of a perfect simulacrum of reality.

i also hate the violence of them. i feel like ND thinks it's sooooo fucking ahead of everyone else. look at this, look at how BRUTAL it is, look at Ellie slit a human's throat in high definition, doesn't that make you feel something, GAMERS?

bitch, no. it doesn't. because that's one of the two verbs in these fucking games. you kill people or you watch a cutscene. and making players go "oh shit are we the baddies" has been an extremely common trope for years. Spec Ops The Line was 11 years ago, bruh, you need to learn a new trick than "making the player feel bad about violence, ooooooooo spooky". it's our ONLY. FUCKING. VERB.

they pour so much effort and money and time and labor into these games, these apex projects, and their verbs are the fucking same as the first goddamn Halo game. you kill things or you watch a cutscene. you just made the violence more visceral.

in the gaming industry, the people who really make shit that changes the landscape are people who try for something more worthwhile than "here, now you can play this gory movie." it's shit like new vegas asking me to make complex ethical decisions backed by hundreds of years of context and history. it's hades teaching players that failing is its own reward. it's toby fox using pixel art and a leitmotif to make me feel something. it's spiritfarer trying to teach people not to fear death and that kindness is important even at the end of everything.

i am philosophically opposed to the Sony Studio Model, to Naughty Dog, and to TLOU. I think they are holding the industry back. they're mediocre games because they're trying to be movies, and their mediocre movies because they're supposed to be games. I haaaaaaaate them.

[disappointed-and-depleted]

Some Of My Favourite Out Of Context One Piece Quotes: Dubbed

Green is for Zoro or Bartolomeo, Red is Luffy or Chopper, Blue is Sanji or Sabo, Purple is Usopp or Brook, Pink is Franky or background characters ie Perona or Buggy, orange and black are also for background characters

"Nobody calls me stupid but me"

"She blew up that funny old man and he was nice so now I hate her 😠"

*casually staring down a dinosaur* "you're a rude son of a bitch" *kicks it*

"Pirates! Or worse, the government!"

"🎶Good evening!✋🎶"

"Well, as per usual I've been kickin ass, and what about you?" "Been kickin ass."

"Hold on a second pirate A (Sanji) Nami isn't a background character like you, its gonna take more then one sorry little bazooka attack to defeat her"

*menacingly* "I love giraffes"

"...wOAh that is lame,"

"SOMEBODY GET ME A LAWYER, THERE'S NO WAY I'M NOT GONNA SUE YOUR ASS OFF FOR THIS!"

"It's a little early to be kissing his ass"

*casually throwing cannon balls* "WE DON'T WANT 'EM, TAKE 'EM BACK!"

"YOU PEOPLE ARE MONSTERS!" "Uh huh!✌✌✌💖"

"You just cook the meat, dont tell us how to eat it"

"Dead men tell no tales" *knows full well of Brook's existence*

*chanting* "FRANKYS NAKED, FRANKYS NAKED"

"WHERE ARE YOU MY FEISTY TRUFFLE!?💖"

"₲₳Ⱨ, ₳ ₮ⱤɆɆ ₩ł₮Ⱨ ₴Ø₥Ɇ ØⱠĐ ₲ɆɆⱫɆⱤ'₴ ₣₳₵Ɇ ł₴ ₮Ø₮₳ⱠⱠɎ ₲Ɇ₮₮ł₦₲ ĐⱤɄ₦₭ ₩ł₮Ⱨ ₳ ฿Ɇ₳₮ Ʉ₱ Ʉ₦ł₵ØⱤ₦"

"I'm so ashamed, my soul is as twisted as my curly eyebrows"

"Power has nothing to do with it, I just naturally have a negaTIVE PERSONALITYYYYYYYYYYYY"

"I-I don't believe this!" "Usopp actually looks cool for once." "Is his heart really that empty?" (I'm not sure if that's a good thing)

"What the hell is this guy? The Patron Saint of Pessimism?"

"AHHH, WHAT A TERRIBLE SOURCE OF SELF ESTEEM!"

*not so casually catching fire and jumping off a cliff* "NAMI-SWAAAAAAN"

"AAHHHHHH, DONT EAT ME I SWEAR IM ALL BONES"

"NAMI GAVE AWAY SOME OF HER TREASURRREEEE!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! A STORM MUST BE COMING!"

"H-he wants to see underwear! EVERYONE, SHOW HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR" "Um, I- I don't need to see any man panties, thank you, I- uh- oh W O W."

"He's not stupid, he's Luffy."

"Awe man, I miss when Jinbei was on our side"

"Okay, uh, a sword shouldn't be able to do that... can we please call that thing somthing other then a sword?"

"THANK YOU BUGGY, SEE YOU IN THE AFTER LIFE, I GUESS"

"But wait, these guys are certified badasses,"

"What about child support?" "Put it on my tab" "THIS ISN'T A BAR"

"WHAT IS THIS, A CHILD LABOR SCHEME!?" (I love Sabo so much 😂😂)

"ATTA BOY SATAN"

"Ah, I didn't think you'd be the first," "Oh yeah? Nobody else has shown up? Well damn, I guess they got lost" (SAYS YOU ZORO)

"WHAT'S UP LADIES, IM FRESH OUTTA HELL AND LOOKIN FOR A GOOD TIME!"

"WHOA, DUDE!" "H E S G O T A H A N D I N H I S H A A A A A N D ! ! !"

"Still standing after all that? Maybe you got stronger after all," "Yeah, and your itty bitty baby attacks actually tickle a little now, too bad they still don't hurt as bad as your food hurts my stomach," "WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?"

"YOU'RE NOT READY FOR REAL GIRLS YET, SANJI! GO BACK TO YOUR PICTURES AND RELAX!"

"WHO NEEDS BLOOD, I HAVE LUST TO SUSTAIN ME!!"

"𝐀𝐇, 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘!"

"And so what if I am? Is it so wrong to want to share in the suffering of my friends? Cold is a state if mind after all! You don't need skin for that!"

*calmly but genuinely* "Resign from the warlords of the sea or go into battle with of the of the four emperors. Obviously he'll pass on both and kill us if he's wise. Yohohohoh- oh I'm scared!"

"Is that why you came down with us, racoon?" "Mhm....... HEY WHO ARE YOU CALLING RACOON, I'M A REINDEER JERK, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I SAID YOU WERE A BIG UGLY RAT WHO EATS GARBAGE- WHAT'S SO FUNNY LUFFY? QUIT LAUGHING!"

"I see, Racoon, so you can understand what animals say," "uh huh, it really comes in handy when we... HEY! COME ON, THERE WAS NO EXCUSE FOR IT THAT TIME!"

"Be extra careful, this is enemy territory," "HEY, ITS NOT AS DARK OVER HERE!" "what did I just tell you, stop yelling!" "Yeah, I hate to say this, but I'm with jerk face on this one," "*disgruntled noises*"

"Oh, so you're okay to be beaten up then,"

"I'mGonnaBeRealHonestWithYouHereSanjiAndGiveYouAHard I. Don't Know But!SayYourPrayersJustToBeSafe,K?"

Also any time someone other than Luffy calls Law "Traffy" is infinatly funny to me cause Dressrosa is super serious then Robin says "But Traffy's plan-" and I'm out of there

"My barrier only works on physical attacks, not verbal ones!"

"You lost me! You sound cool as hell and I still look up to you! Of course, but you lost me!"

"OH NO! MASTER DICKHEAD"

*Brook being eaten alive and no one paying any mind*