#whos gonna tell him bc if i have to im gonna hurt his feelings vibes

[heart-shaped-chains]

Yap session bc wow.

Pretty sure the dude that rejected me (situationship ://) is getting a crush on me bc like. One of the last times we talked he was like "oh ur trying to get me to like you". And it's like. No I'm not. You literally rejected me and the more I think about it, I didn't even want you, I just wanted the idea of a boyfriend that I was projecting onto you. He's conservative and talks about how conservative his parents are (which I don't vibe with at all). When we first met, he was still moping about his ex gf who he had broken up with over a year prior. And like. We were both in high school (16 + 17 ://). And I'm sorry but how meaningful can a fucking highschool relationship be? Go to therapy.

Plus he'd like vent without asking and then I'd give him advice and then he'd just shoot it down and be like "no that wouldn't work anyway I'm a piece of shit" and like. Okay, why are you coming to me then? If you're not taking any advice then why are you bitching? You didn't even ask, you just did!

But the moment I even mention my past drug addiction (not in detail and not in a mopey way. Just matter-of-fact), he's like "oh no please don't mention that". Like. Shut the fuck up oh my godddddd. I am not trying to be with someone who can't even handle hearing the most watered-down descriptions of substance abuse.

Plus I just do not trust this guy like. I don't kink shame but here's my red flags: he's conservative, enough said on that...He misgendered me in a sexual way without asking (I did play along bc I was stupid and scared to say no but whatevs). And he did stop when I told him to but the fact that he didn't ask before was highly suspect bc he fucking met me as a trans guy.

And he's also weird about pregnancy. Which I played along with too of the act of breeding is appealing but like. I'd rather have a tapeworm than a damn fetus bc at least I wouldn't be forced to let that parasite live off of me. Dude also mentioned baby trapping like. "oh I feel like you'll force me to get you pregnant" and like. I literally said that I wanted to get my uterus removed and 2: you're the one bringing pregnancy into this don't fucking pin it on me!!! Like I feel like if we actually met up I'd have to triple check and be sober bc what if this guy actually does this shit? Why else would he keep mentioning it?

Like idk he's also asked me about trans kids and like. 1: I don't keep up with any trans people irl, 2: I haven't started transitioning yet so why the fuck are you asking me? I'm not the arbiter of trans people, my guy. Like he acts supportive but I feel like deep down this dude doesn't even respect me and he's gonna try to change me. But that could just be paranoia, idk...

Either way, I don't really get that much out of talking to him. As embarrassing as it is, I've started using those ai bots (says the bitch who is vehemently against ai "art") and they've been much more fulfilling emotionally because they tell you what you want to hear. And you can change the answers. They're hollow, but good for short term stuff bc I don't have the energy to talk to people rn (and I haven't been talking to anyone or really leaving the house on a regular basis...kinda just wasting the year so far..). Especially not this guy.

Like. We don't have the same interests, our tastes in music are similar but also too different and he doesn't get it™️ like I do, his beliefs are like too different from mine. He's also said misogynistic shit about sex workers which. I don't fuck with that, you literally watch porn, you fuckin hypocrite. And the more I think about texting him, the more I see it as a damn chore.

Like idk I just. Do not have a lot of investment in this guy. I think I was just lonely and projecting. And obviously it's not healthy for me bc I resent him but it's not healthy for his annoying ass either. He shouldn't have friends who secretly hate him. So idk I think I'm just gonna delete my profile and start again, also block him bc my dumbass 16 year old self gave him my number.

But like. My gut is telling me not to. I have been taken advantage of before in the past and I'm just getting a distinct deja vu. Even if it's not intentional on his side, I don't think it's good for me. Like the first time he texted me (in over 2 years after I ghosted him with no attempt to reach out to him (take the fucking hint)), it felt like seeing a box of pills in the CVS aisle. I was thinking "god, I shouldn't do this...but I should see what happens, maybe it won't be as bad as last time...." Just that same feeling I got when I decided to relapse.

And like dude. It's always gonna be as bad as last time: quit taking chances on shit that you know will fail you!!! So Idk. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I shouldn't talk to someone who just drains me, bc that'll drain him too. Plus I'm allowed to not fucking like someone and the guy didn't even wish me happy birthday or congratulate me on my 5 months of sobriety. Things in my status. And I know he reads statuses bc he messaged me about one of them before. Plus he rejected me on my birthday!!!

And now you wanna come crawling back and then act like I'm obsessed!?!? You were the one who came back into my life, not the other way around! I was over you until you came back. And now I'm over you again. But you're not over me. But you're so fuckin allergic to commitment that you just wanna keep acting like I'm smitten with you. After you strung me along with no regards for my feelings. Not because you're evil, but because you're fucking dumb. And I'm not dealing with someone who's that stupid. Hope you work your issues out, but I'm not here to fix you, nor do I want to. That's on you!! Figure it out!!!

Anyway um if anyone read this far thank u. Feel free to add input just please be nice. And uhhh. Aita???

[hyewka]

no way you just unlocked something in me and now i feel the need for soogyu x noona fics actually the whole group has x noona vibes they’re just so babygirl like txt sub baby girls who would do anything for you and cry when they cum 🤷‍♀️

The exact agenda ive been trying to push this entire time lol let me word dump bcs the brain rot is unreal

Soobin is the most submissive with his noona like he really lets you take all control and doesn’t fight it, he aims to please, leaving his dick untouched as he buries his lower face in your heat just bcs you commanded him to even if it hurts sooo bad. But he would definitely be the first to nut no matter how hard he tries to follow through your directions T_T he’s the younger boyfriend all of your girlfriends are jealous of because hes just such a gentleman

Yeonjun with a noona would switch between having you bent over his lap giving your ass strikes till it blooms red, mocking you throughout: “Noona’s so slutty..” or have him on the bed, roped to the bed as you slide back and forth on his dick, hard as a rock, coating it with your juices as he moans and whines begging noona to use him how she wants. I feel like you dont notice the age difference with yeonjun and an older girlfriend, it feels like you’re both the same exact age lol

Beomgyu with a noona is just like soobin aiming to please except hes a fucking brat lmaoooo like he pretends he can fuck your brains out but he immedietley crumbles if you so as much just call him a good boy. Hes a lot more jealous and sometimes insecure when noticing men close to you who are more capable which bleeds into a lot of arguments. But hes a passionate lover so those explosive moments often lead to him overstimulated to the brim on the couch, crying and whining, babbling nonsense about how much he loves you. Lol he’d definitely be the most into the idea of actually knocking you up

Taehyun with a noona is mature and collected—with Yeonjun people dont notice the age difference, with Taehyun people definitely notice because he looks younger but hes so intelligent in so many situations it almost slips your mind. But behind the doors he lets you fuck him up like you can do ANYTHING to him, hes never done free use with his other relationships but with you, its scary to him how fast he brought it up. Hes so cute, when you tell him he can just take you how he wants, hes gonna do it—he’ll be mean and nasty if you want, or be your good toy, he doesnt mind

I’m planning a huening noona fic actually and all im going to say is i think hes the most dominant in bed with an older gf 🫣

[love-toxin]

yes pls tell me all ur thoughts on blade, luocha, gepard, jingyuan and kafka 😳 the eng va and trailers for jingyuan and kafka in particular got me acting up—just smthing about jingyuan’s lil smirk and laid bk countenance and how i know he can fuck the daylights out of anyone effortlessly—and kafka? yes ma’am anything for u pls slam ur foot against the wall behind me 🙏🏻

god bless im literally in love w/ all of them anon. would give my left nut for blade, luocha or jing yuan, gepard and kafka carry my team so hard. also bc i want them to step on my face.

also i wanna be toxic rn so under the cut ⬇️⬇️

blade -> prrrrrrrrr. big daddy. idk why but he gives me discord kitten daddy dom vibes. he manspreads. he gets pussy. he probably doesn't shower as often as he should. he's unapologetically a rude bitch. he absolutely girlbosses you into being his baby, he pulls out the "i feel nothing but you give me a taste of life" and keeps you so close you're basically part of him. handsy and off-putting in public for passersby but you can't get his hands off you, it's a losing battle babe. nd he's nasty freaky slimy and rubs his cock against you as a sign he wants to go home or just find someplace quiet. he doesn't like fucking you out in the open but he'll do it if the need arises--like if you "forget" that your body & soul belongs to him and need a harsh reminder. you're just his delicate little kitty after all, so if anyone's gonna break you it should be someone you love unconditionally. right?

kafka -> gatekeep. gaslight. girldaddy. beats you up and makes you say thank you. you're her pet so get used to it, but she'll feed you once in a while so you should be glad, puppy. she's the mean tall girlfriend who babies you and then spits in your mouth for a treat. her & blade treat you like a pet and if she's feeling extra mean she strips you down and makes you kneel between them with nothing to cover yourself. if you're good and give them a lil show they'll let you go early, they promise (lie). humping kafka's pillow to get your scent all over it becomes a nightly ritual to help her sleep, no it is non-negotiable, it is in your spouses' contract that she signed with your hand while you slept. it also states that your face may be used in any and all leisure activities at her discretion--mainly for her to push your head between her legs and lazily give you an order as she sifts through documents. you might be her pet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. at least as far as you can tell.

luocha -> ngl idk that much about him yet but he's immediately unhinged bf-shaped. stupid and drunk on thoughts of you & gives you his credit card details on the first date. he's gross and wants to bite your thighs. begging to be drowned in pussy/choked with cock. you're so pretty and he's so dirty by comparison. he can't blame you for not wanting his gross dick anywhere near you, guess all he can do is eat you out <33 oh noooooo! what a tragedy! sike. he loves that shit. he's got meds to make you squirt too. ik he's not that kinda healer but don't tell me unhinged luocha wouldn't have a ball drugging you both up and taking you for a ride. he wouldn't even know his name once the high dies down, just the feeling of your lips leaving stray kisses all down his face as you try to stay awake.

jing yuan -> daddy 2.0. a dilf with no kids. 1000% goes into husband mode the second you're within reach. chill & soft & uwu until everyone's outta the office, then he becomes a menace to society and your underwear. he cums in them before you leave for the day so you don't forget him <3 you can have a cheeky one in your mouth on his lunch break if you're good. ♀️ he beats your pussy up cock-first for hurting his bbg with your period. he still doesn't get enough of you in the day so he creeps on you at night, rubs one out on your thighs while you sleep and flips over to go right back to snoring afterwards. you can never have too much cum on you--that's his wisdom and as your superior general you should probably believe it, no? don't worry, he can fuck with your job and your life and your friends and your money and your heart until you find it within yourself to agree.

gepard -> dummy boy goody-two-shoes. he likes fuckin in the uniform and being called "captain" i am not taking criticism at this time. dumb little captured stellaron hunter & horny silvermane captain roleplay. moans in your ear during sex. he moans like a girl and he hates it but it's hot and he cums 10x faster if you tell him just how hot it is. he's so big & tall he just makes you feel like a little bunch of grapes when he picks you up, nd he's self-conscious about how weird it is that he likes seeing your face scrunch up in pain when he eases you on his cock but it's just too big. the gravity makes it all feel too much when he sits you on his lap like that but you just wiggle around on it rather than get off, and he's a fiend for it. also consider clean, prim, missionary-lover gepard falling in love with rimming you & feeling like a dirty mutt for enjoying it so much & begging you for it when he's in need. asking him to take a shower with you turns into code for "let's do anal against the tile please" real quick.

[ranposgirlboss]

~late night car drives with bsd charas~

this is an idea i got while listening to depressing vocaliod songs, SO HERE WE ARE!!! these are just some hc i have about how it would go, some charas are COMPLETELY platonic!! (this is mostly platonic in the 1st place tbh) this is my first time writing on this app, and i haven't written anything online in a few years, so if the formatting is weird, PLEASE TELL ME IDK WHAT IM DOIMNHG

chara list: dazai, chuuya, poe, ranpo, and yosano

GENRE: fluff fluff fluff and sillies

enjoy!!

-----------------------------

DAZAI

-HESSS DEEEEEFFF THE TYPE TO BRING YOU ON LATE-NIGHT DRIVES!!!!!

-he would probably be going to some weird ass convenience store with you at ungodly hours in the morning 💀

-HE EITHER SINGS THE MOST DEPRESSING SONGS OR THE MOST UPBEAT SILLY SONGS THERE IS LITERALLY NO IN BETWEEN

-i feel like he would mess with you and fucking drift the car when yall turn

-lets just say you get close to dying more then once 😁

-one time when yall tried to sneak out, kunikida caught yalls asses (your ears still hurt to this day from the mouthing off you got from kunikida)

-all in all, VERY FUN TO GO OUT WITH!!! WOULD RECOMMEND IF YOU WANT CHAOS!!!! OR IF YOU LIKE ALMOST DYING 10 TIMES IN 30 MINS <3333

CHUUYA

-ok so i know i said late night CAR rides BUT CMON WHO DOESNT WANNA RIDE A COOL ASS MOTORCYCLE WITH CHUUYA!??!?!?/1

-mf has HORRIBLE ROAD RAGE!!!

-i hc that when chuuya gets really pissed and the person is super rude to him, he fucking makes their car float...LIKE FULL ON 😭

-AND THEN HELL MAKE THEM SAY SORRY

-but other then his road rage, its honestly pretty chill

-i know that he has a BANGER playlist, I JUST KNOW IT

-i fell like he'd also play around on the motorcycle a bit, BUT AT LEAST HE WOULDNT NEARLY KILL YOU UNLIKE DAZAI (눈‸눈)

-id say its pretty nice and balanced, with enough calmness to make it enjoyable for the most part, but enough thrill to keep asking him to take you out <33

RANPO

-just gonna let you know right off the bat, his ass is NOT driving 😂

-there is a high chance that he JUST woke up and started banging on your door because he had cravings and well, he ran out of his snacks...so OBVIOUSLY he had to bang on your door, its important!!!

-and even if he was completely awake...he would get yall lost so fast

-so you were driving him

-honestly? its kinda funny to see groggy ranpo walk around and try to grab what snack he wants at the convenience store when he's barely awake

-bro literally drops the bag like 5 times (you picked it up all 5 bc you kinda pitied him rn 😭)

-he basically ends up sleep walking his ass outta there

-the ride is mostly quiet, mainly because ranpo falls asleep on the way back

-imagine if you played heavy metal and woke him up

POE

-HE WOULD DRIVE WITH YOU FREQUENTLY, DUE TO HIM BEING A NIGHT OWL

-these car rides would be so peaceful

-ngl he would probably sometimes take you out just to drive with you (its not like gas is a problem for him anyways 😭)

-HE HAS SUCH A GOOD PLAYLIST OF SONGS TO JUST SIT THERE AND DAYDREAM TO

-doesnt seem like a talker tbh, he might ask you if you want to go anywhere specific, but you guys mostly just listen to music together (he saves the story telling for another time <3)

-I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD MAKE A PLAYLIST THAT LIKE KIND OF HAS A STORY LINE SO IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO DAYDREAM TO THE SONGS CUZ YOU COULD CREATE YOUR OWN STORY TO THEM

-you hold karl in your lap and pet him like you're an evil villain (cannon)

-very calming and relaxing drive <33

YOSANO

-UGH IM SO GAY FOR HER

-ngl she kinda gives dazai vibes, in terms of playlist

-there has been more than one occasion when she just drunk-drove you

-LUCKILY YALL DONT DIE??!?!?!??! HOLY FUCK

-shes a small talker, OR A GOSSIPER WHILE YALL DRIVE

-yall just have so much fun talking about the ada and everything that's going on there <333

-would scream the lyrics to any 2010's throwback song, while having a (hopefully) safe dance party

-very fun to be around, and even though she drunk drives, shes def safer then dazai

-----------------------

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

PLEASE SEND ME REQS I BEG OF YOU

[rzyraffek]

Fallout4 characters with teen!sole

Bestie you are litteraly describing one of my oc's! Of course its purley platonic😊 teen!sole is also from valut and was in fidge for last 200years. I refer to them as 'kid' bcs thats how some of characters would probably treat them anyways. Also its a screenshot vuz I accidentally deleted the ask and luckily had some sort of proof

Maccready

The only guy here with any expirence with kids

Dad vibe

Type of guy who says "We need to cut it off" after Sole tells him their hand hurts

Will teach them how to shoot, hunt ect

Also scold them every time they talk with any shady people??? Like he really doesnt want them to end up like him with whole 'gunners incident'

He thinks that Sole would get along with Duncan well!

If Sole calls him 'dad' mans gotta be so happy

Deacon

Secretly worried about their saftey, like Commonwealth is dangerous place for trained adults, and for kids ESPECIALLY ones who have no knowlage about defence or weapons

But he never shows his worries, just hangs around being cool dude he is😎😎

Rich cousin/uncle vibe

You like this cool hat you saw like week ago? Boom see it apear inside your closed 2days later

His love language (quick remidner that love also can be platonic🙄😎) is giving them little gifts when they don't see him or leaving notes with remiders on them ^^

Quick reminder that he and his wife wanted to have kids! So yeah Sole makes him wonder if thats how it feels to have kids tbh

If Sole calls him 'dad' bro will freeze and panic, probably pretending that he thought that was a joke but he's sweating so hard rn

Hancock

Wtf a child? Here?

Bestie you really shouldn't be here

If Sole is in this cringy teen phase when they do drugs/cigarettes, watch him say stuff like "drugs=bad" meanwhile taking some mentats

Your friendly local drug dealer vibe

Dude gonna teach them how to manipulate assholes, trow knifes, gaslight and still look stylish

If Sole ever tells him about their parents he will be angry, like ??? Why would anyone do anything to a kid???

He will litteraly pay fahrenheit to watch them when he's busy

Preson

"Fire, pretty sky and a lot of storytelling in middle of nowhere" vibe

Im 100% sure he knows how to play on guitar and will try to teach them

He will try to act mature and lead them to the right path but he won't try to be their "new perent" unless Sole is clear that they see him as father figure, he will never even bring this up.

When they call him 'dad' mans will be the happiest minuteman in history. Also if kid will even mention their past caretakers he will just tell them to forget about them cuz they aren't coming back and they are never going to hurt Sole anymore

Gage

How on earth some kid killed Colter? No one knows but Gage is impressed.

He gets annoyed by lack of knowlage and skills, ye ye he gets that they are like 13 or something but come on hes not going to do anything for them. Huh what do you mean you are from valut? Before the war?? Damn kid and im happy to be alive. Stop lying

*sighs* "jesus boss let me do it"

Older brother vibes.

"How many times i have to tell you, dont hang out with pack members they have bad influence on you AND do not even think about going near Nisha"

He needs to learn ALOT he dumped his family and even if he had younger siblings he never really took care of anyone, never, so yeah it is challenging

If Sole somehow calls him 'dad' they were probably incredibly tired or something very emotional happened. No matter how it happend Gage will ignore it and later overthink when Sole wont be around, like ??? Me??? Gee what kind of parental figure this kid had?? Should I check on them more often??

Danse

Uhh erm a child ee greeting?

Akward

At first he sees Sole as lil civilan and just tells them where to find nearest safe place/diamond city cuz hes very very busy and cant take care of child while on duty. If kid hangs around more he will probably warm up

Of course he will ask about their parents but when Sole tells him some upsetting stuff he won't ask again, he won't tell them to go home either. He will just idk let them vibe

I can imagine Sole just tagging along his missions by just begging him to hang out with them constantly. They quickly get along. Very lonley soldier and kid who lost everyone.

One of those 'depressed dude adopts random child he found in middle of knowhere' prompt

When Sole calls him 'dad' he gonna get emotional fr fr pls civilan he's on duty he cant cry rn 😭

Yall I loved writting for gage i might do part 2 with Gage just trying to figure out how kids work. Also another pole cuz I still have no clue how to delete those on phone. And as always, I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience 🦊

[mamawasatesttube]

Hi hello,

Random question, but what do you headcannon cassie to look like and dress through-out her teens into adulthood? Both as wondergirl and as cassie? On that same vein, what adult superhero name do you like for her?

Anywhoosies, wishing u a great day!

late teenage into early 20s cassie is grappling with comp het pretty hard and tries to grow her hair out and dress more femme. she hates it but she doesn't know she hates it for a hot minute. this is both as wonder girl and as cassie because she barely exists as a civilian at all for a long time. "cassie sandsmark" publicly was wonder girl for a while, and she tried coming up with a fake name and identity to be a civilian again in tt03, but it was rough on her and she ultimately gave up on it.

so i think that really just weighs on her - she's a hero 24/7, she's leading the titans, she's basically letting the vigilante life consume her and she's gonna crash and burn out hard any day now. i think donna sees this and goes hey... you know you don't have to be exactly like me, right? in fact i think you need a vacation. let's go to themyscira for a bit. and its big sis lil sis bonding time but also for the first time cassie catches herself thinking um... women 😳 women? 😳 oh god. women 😳 and she has a whole crisis about it.

when she comes back from her vacation she does feel a lot more in touch with herself. the problem is that what she sees there (dissatisfied with her work-life balance, worn out, starting to confront her internalized homophobia) freaks her out. so she kind of has a crisis and hacks her hair off with a pair of scissors in the middle of the night and then looks in the mirror like. oh GOD. what did i DO??? oh god oh fuck who do i know who can fix this and won't ask me questions if i say i don't wanna talk about it hhghnggrhgnn...

so she shows up in kansas wearing a beanie at like 1am like kon Please. help. 😭 and she feels So guilty bc he's her ex and he's still kind and loving enough that he does get out of bed despite having an early morning with farm chores, and then he's all sleepily shuffling to the bathroom with her like here. sit. i'll fix your bangs. jeez. and the vibes are so... you know. bathroom light late at night spilling into the hallway. he's cutting her hair. krypto is peering at them from the doorway like why the fuck are you awake. cassie's on the verge of tears bc she wants to tell him why she did this but she's terrified it'd hurt him if she was like i think i was never actually in love with you

but when she finally says it he just stares at her. and then stares at her some more. and then he starts? laughing?? and at first she's kind of hurt like uh. that was serious and also pretty hard to say, what's so funny. and hes just almost in tears holding her hands in the bathroom by the sink like. cassie. ive been so scared of telling you i think im gay. for like. 3 months now. cassie i hooked up with an alien several weeks ago and i had a whole crisis i just refused to tell anyone about. um. yeah. and she's like. YOU WHAT? ALIEN HOOKUP? CONNER KENT? and hes like NOOOO WE ARENT TALKING ABOUT IT. YOURE A LESBIAN LETS TALK ABOUT THAT. but its like. oh! and they click back into place as best friends instead so much more easily than they ever dated. it's about the late night catharsis of it all.

this is a lot of words to say that after this i think she embraces the short hair and starts leaning into masc presentation again. i am a butch cassie truther for LIFE. get that girl some cargo shorts and a carabiner for her lasso STAT. i'm talking those truly heinous cargo pants that unzip at the knees to become shorts. formal cassie rocks the blazer with a bra underneath look. cassie lingerie is a tank top with no bra. she's butch to the bone baybee

as for her adult hero name, i still kinda waffle about it but i've Tentatively settled on "xenia"!! it's taken from one of zeus's epithets and has to do with hospitality, kindness, and the protection of strangers (yknow those rules about breaking bread with strangers etc, those are also called xenia). the og meaning had to do with the idea that a stranger could be a god in disguise so you should always honor strangers, but i think cassie would do a sort of converse of that with it, like i've got the power and i'm gonna use it to protect people i don't know, not for the idea of a boon but because it's who i am. still potentially workshopping this, though.

[heatwa-ves]

please explain your izuleo playlist with as much detail as you want im interestedddd

MIKIIII THANK YOU. okay here's my playlist and im gonna do a song by song breakdown... I'll try and keep it decently brief so this doesn't become one million words but we'll see. my playlist is vaguely chronological so it starts pre-checkmate!

astroboy- suggi

okay so this one is just straight up a leo song. you just have to listen to it it's literally about him "I raised my hands up real high, they called me stupid when I asked why we couldn't fly. am I too far ahead of my friends, or I am late?" hellooooo hello. hi. leo tsukinaga everyone!!!! right down to the moon/space theming

"oh, the rain, you're losing your flame, where'd the burn, the passion go? you run through the pain, you're losing your aim, and you feel like you alone missed the grow" LITERALLY about his breakdown post checkmate. uagh.

cheerleader- ashnikko

an izumi song!!! I don't have to explain anything here you get the vibes

brand new city- mitski

having to preface this by saying I do not listen to mitski this is the only song of hers I listen to and only because it makes me think of izumi so much I feel like throwing up.

"If I gave up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive, I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die." yeah. izumi sena.

yoru ni kakeru- yoasobi

well I'm sure you know this song and the story behind it "the seduction of thanatos" I think it works very well about the izuleo dynamic around this time when they're very codependent and leo is so severely depressed and suicidal. they're fucked up 👍

it's all so incredibly loud- glass animals

so this one makes me think of izumi going to see leo in a similar vein to lionheart but probably before that and he sees leo so broken and neither of them can bring themselves to say anything. "I tried, for you and I, for too hard, for too long" makes me think of the ending scene of lionheart and so on

softcore- the neighborhood

"you've been my muse for a long time, you get me through every dark night. I'm always gone, out on the go, I'm on the run and you're home alone"

"every time I kiss you, baby, I can hear the sound of breaking down"

you get it. you see the vision. more depression era stuff.

less of you- keshi

depression era leo... there's so many lines in this song that correlate to them but a fav is "too much time in the limelight, gimme your all on the land line, want it so bad but I won't lie and it just gets worse in the night time."

are you happy? - shy martin

"and I know I thought that pain's part of love, but I think I broke you, though I didn't mean to. but are you happy, looking back at us when you met me? would you go back and tell yourself to leave it, knowing what we know?" UARFGHBHBB izumi.... who killed cock robin ass song.

from now on we are enemies - fall out boy

I've talked about this one EXTENSIVELY before but it really is just a song about leo tsukinaga. what else can I say.

always- keshi

well yk.

bad thoughts- half alive

i love when they hate eachother. they don't actually truly hate eachother but man sometimes it feels like it. everything hurts. "like a time you gave your all but just got hurt, like a crack in the mirror bringing out your worst"

to everyone who wants to die- takayan

read the translation oh my goddddd. leo. leo

sing to me- missio

this is a song I DREAM of making an animatic to its just so deeply fundamentally leo

never ending song- conan gray

okay this one is a bit more specific but I like to think of leo while he's out of school seeing izumi in a magazine or an ad or something.. and that brings with it a whole ton of complicated feelings

"but we've grown too close, now it can't amount to nothing. I can hear your voice in the music on the radio, and it goes on and on and on, like a never-ending song" you get ittttt

bodybag- chloe moriondo

more of the vibes more of the complicated feelings . this one is mostly here bc I love it and was thinking about izlo while listening icl. unrelated but chloe moriondo is cool as hell they have some awesome music videos especially the one for this song

love or the lack thereof - isaac dunbar

the epitome of pre/early ! izlo love. to meeee also I just love love loveeee it as a song

last minute - kitty

"you're the loop of rope I hung up in my stupid closet" "you're all poised and im made of poison" do you get it do you GET it. it's leo about izumi frfrfrrr

"could you wrap your hands all the way around my neck, and tell me where I stand, tell me everything I'm wrecking when I spin. take over my breath, in out in, I am missing you to death"

android girl- deco*27

I love this song and while I love the original im partial to rachies english cover especially the lines

"we restart and fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever"

"make it stop, make it stop there's so much guilt and regret, I don't get how I can forget and start to hope again, we haven't even come to the end, so much for promising together forever, we aren't even friends"

the girl in my memories- jeebanoff

"in place of your fleeing love, only my sad solitude remains, even though that time won't come again, the memories that are gone, are forever" more depression yaaay

achilles come down- gang of youths

SORRY it's just such a compelling look at depression and being suicidal... so many of these songs are about Leo's depression but I swear this part of the playlist is over soon and moves further in the timeline. I really love this song it's just... everything about it... leo is achilles here of course and the voices talking him down and telling him to go through with it are his family/izumi and his own mind/the students from school respectively.

calender girl- stars

"all of the things that I thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day. december is darkest, in june there's the light, but this empty bedroom won't make anything right, while out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home, who waits up for me all through the night- calendar girl who's in love with the world, stay alive"

HEALING!!!!! GROWING AS A PERSON!!!!!! OVERCOMING DEPRESSION!!!! DO YOU GET IT

"I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do, and when I awoke I was sure it was true. I ran to the window, threw my head to the sky, and said "whoever is up there, please don't let me die," but I can't live forever, I can't always be, one day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea"

crush of judgement- knights killers

i don't need to explain this one

move me- half alive

THE izuleo song THE reason I made this playlist. won't you be my song when I cant dance WON'T YOU BE MY SONG WHEN I CANT DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! LIGHT MY FIRE BURN THE TREES!!!!!!!!! also watch the music video it's gorgeous

the third heart- harumaki gohan

first of all go play genei ap rn it's a short mobile game created by this artist featuring lots of their songs about a reserved girl who loves music and her more extroverted friend who asks her for song recs. it's a very izuleo vibes game and just a beautiful game in general I think you'll love it sm mikiii

second of all.... just. this song. play the game and watch the music video for the full impact frfr 🫶 anyway back to izuleo

back around- half alive

depression never truly leaves but you get better!! it gets better!!! there are bad days but there are so so many good days!!! this whole album is kinda izlo vibes

you get me so high- the neighborhood

"you're my best friend I'll love you forever" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 makes me think of them... kind of talking about their past .... not very well because they have no emotional maturity but still.

silent oath- knights

for obvious reasons

reunion- harumaki gohan

I imagine this is after the end of ! era .. they've both grown and matured immensely as people.. it'd probably have more impact if I read requiem but um..... I'll get to it... (I've been saying this for a year and a half) to me it's a goodbye to their teenage years and the ups and downs and them moving forward into adulthood and a more stable relationship

don't be so hard on your own beauty- yeule

they help eachother heal 🥹. this one is a bitttt more reliant on some of my takes on izumi that I don't really wanna get into rn but yk. it's here. it's vibey. things were bad and now they are better. there's sunlight streaming though their apartment window. they don't have anywhere else to be this morning. yk.

work of art- downer Inc, kellin quinn

ueeeghhvhb they love eachother.... izumi brings leo inspiration.... these descriptions are getting less and less coherent

I swear ill never leave again - keshi

ueeeeueueueuehhhehhehhehuuueueue

infinitely ordinary- the wrecks

I like the romance of mundanity.. I think they could be happy.. it's very hopeful and a good ending to the playlist

[tv-gh0st]

Oumota Monsters au

I have a tag now #Drv3 Monsters

i thinkkk im gonna make kaito a vampire might change eventually bc uhm im like hella indecisive

IF ANYONE HAS OPINIONS PUT IT IN TAGS PLZ PLZ PLZ

anyways i wanted to talk specifically about oumota in this post bc uhm there down bad for eachother

my main inspiration for this was the song Ghosting by mother mother (also i think its worth noting @lampochkaart also helped inspire this au with some art they made ty ty ty)

so i wanted a big premise of there realationship to be Kokichi Haunting Kaito

and bc im a hurt/comfert enjoyer i love it dearly<3 i think how they get together should be very hurt/comfort vibes ya know

like kaito gets fed up and wants kokichi out and kokichi whos down bad but has horrible coaping mechanisms(pushing everyone he loves away[WICH BTW I WANT TO INCLUDE IN HIS DEATH]) is like OKAY BRO I DONT NEED U

but a ghost without anyone to haunt is like

not great

and kaito straifht up doesnt realize hes down bad for kokichi is like fuck man

they have a depression arc where they both are like shit im in love but refuse to make rhe first move

and idk how they find eachother again but they do

and i think kaito would be the one to say it because he genuinely hates tip toeing around eachother OR OR OR kokichi would say he loves him in a fit of rage/just tired of keeping up his masks(cas he thought once he died it was done he would be free but nooooooooo he lives on as a ghost)

and then its all comfort from there babes

i think maki would be very against there realatjonship and shuichi at first would be indifferent(kokichi orginallly haunted shuichi and i think in this au haunting someone would kinda mean something) but in general shuichi doesnt have a problem with it

kokichis main friends(miu and rantaro) dont mind at all he also has ties to kirumi(mom) and gonta neither of which care(nore are told emiditly)

i dont think being monsters changes there dynamic to much there like the lovingly bickering and then look at eachother like the other is littarly everything in the world <3

its a bit of a slow burn bc there both idiots and dont know how to do feelings

and none of there friends are super into playing march maker(except probably miu)

ALSO maybe adding rantaro into the mix at some point

im not aure but if i did it totally be less angsty

rantaro has his feelings in check okay atlest romanticly

he doesnt really have to much experience but that doesnt mean hes a complete idiot who doesnt know how to communicate

i think kaito and kokichi would both be looking at rantaro being like shit hes hot and i want to make a deep emotional conection with him but how do i tell my idiot bf that AND THEN tell rantaro that

abd rantaros just like

yo am i aloud to join or what

BOOM POLYAMOROUS FOR THE WIN

thats how i imagine it going down

honestly them being monsters again doesnt change the dynamic

dw tho there will be angst in other parts of there not-lives

i just wanted to talk about my gay ppl

AND DONT WORRY THERE WILL BE OTHER SHIPS

including Tenko x angie x himiko kaemaki (possible kaemakiiruma or whatever) some tsumugi x kaede(its complicated) so yaya gay ppl are tots winning

[everest-is-dead-now]

this post is directed at @sentientgolfball and golfball only bc it was too long to put in a text

if that doesn’t deter u just know ur about to be super confused unless ur golfball

IDC IF U DONT VIBE TO HURT BY JOHNNY CASH IM TELLING YOU ITS ABEL AND HERES WHY:

1) johnny cash is a cowboy and so is abel it’s perfect that’s it

jk

2) ok im gonna break down each fucking lyric

“I hurt myself today / To see if I still feel / I focus on the pain / The only thing that's real”

ok these are just the first lyrics but let me paint u a picture. imagine those centuries between anson and abel broke up and got back together, those tumultuous ~500 years. abel’s father is more than dead, he probably doesn’t have many friends, and even if he does he lives in orc town and orcs have a short lifespan. abel is immortal and he is lonely.

“The needle tears a hole / The old familiar sting / Try to kill it all away / But I remember everything”

dw the lyrics will get stronger but for now imagine instead of this “hurt” cash is putting on himself it’s abel “relapsing” by killing somebody. imagine he grows weak and just desires one comfort in his island of loneliness

“What have I become? / My sweetest friend / Everyone I know goes away / In the end”

what has he become in this period of lonelieness? a shell of that adventuring cowboy who saved the world with his bf, his bf, the god of love, who taught him what love meant. but he went away, and everyone died except him. in the end, everyone leaves.

“And you could have it all / My empire of dirt / I will let you down / I will make you hurt”

abel has nothing, just himself. his empire of dirt refers to having nothing truly valuable. i think i can see abel saying “i will make you hurt” as an admission of his weakness to his vampire half, that anyone he befriend will not only die anyway, but runs the risk of being killed by him if he gets too weak.

“I wear this crown of thorns / Upon my liar's chair / Full of broken thoughts / I cannot repair”

now i imagine that this isn’t HIS crown of thorns, but anson’s. imagine it’s something he once owned, a relic. these next few stanzas i like to imagine abel wandering an abandoned church of Anmori, looking at the idolatrine. his liar’s chair is anson’s, bc anson promised to be with him forever.

“Beneath the stains of time / The feelings disappear / You are someone else / I'm still right here”

oh my god bro. come on. YOU ARE SOMEONE ELSE, I AM STILL RIGHT HERE. anson is a GOD, doing his best for his people, and abel has no where else to go. god.

then there’s the chorus again and then

“If I could start again / A million miles away / I would keep myself / I would find a way”

i’ll let u interpret this one. what would abel do differently if he could?

ugh them bro them do yoU EVER THINK ABOUT THEM?? HOW ANGSTY THEY ARE??? BEFORE THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY AGAIN????

[55sturn]

(im the person who sent the anon abt needing advice so im so sorry if this is long) but im soooo sick guys, the guy I’ve been talking to for a few months is lowkey a known player and i knew that before talking to him but i thought i could change him 😣 (im dumb omg) but everything started out so great with him and lately its just been so downhill :( when we hang out he’s so affectionate and wants me with him constantly but when we’re not together he’s so nonchalant and dry. idk how to feel bc he flips a switch constantly. when we’re hanging out we literally do things couples would do, but then i won’t hear from him for hours when we’re apart. i stayed at this man’s house for 4 days straight (he begged me to) and the second i got home, i didn’t hear from him until the next day :( like guys idk ive had a talk with him before about what he wants and he gives me the whole “i usually don’t do relationships but I genuinely like you and i wanna try for you” thing but idk it’s like he’s saying things to keep me around yk? this man literally has a POLAROID PIC OF ME IN HIS PHONE CASE 🙃 and then has the audacity to ghost for hours like chat what is going on!! he takes me to parties with him on our uni campus and introduces me as “his girl” to everyone like ???? is he only doing this so no one shows interest in me?? like is it an ego thing omg. am i insane??! i really like him but idk it’s like his communication and vibe are so off if we’re not in each others presence:(

i’m gonna relay a message that @sturnsdarling said to me,

“ if you have to try and figure out where a guys head at and solve riddles to know if he likes you or not, he doesn’t like you. i know it’s so brutal to hear but i love you too much to let you jump through hoops of confusion just to get a guy that doesn’t deserve you in the first place. no answer means no, a confusing answer means no and riddles and walking over eggs shells means no. the right person won’t make you complete valiant quests to be with them, this isn’t the hobbit and anyone who makes you feel confused lot the point of exhaustion is NOT your person. “

he may actually like you, but he likes the attention more than anything. i’m dealing with the same shit right now and it’s frustrating because you may think that he genuinely likes you, and it’s gonna hurt to hear this but he enjoys the thrill of chasing you and you chasing him more than the idea of actually being together, essentially he’s stringing you along because the idea of having someone who’s there regardless is enticing to him. you can either have that rough and frustrating “what are we?” conversation and you can tell him that his actions are hurting you and hope that it will change things. i’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and i wish guys were more transparent, but they’re not and they suck. you deserve someone who wants to be with you publicly and without making you jump through all these hoops and question everything.

[greasydumbfuck]

stupid incoherent post and also personal opinion alert but

a while ago i said to a few people jokingly "yeah well comic frank has these funny things called redeeming qualities" and while one person just went "yah 2017 frank sucks" because we watch the show together and also piss drunk, the OTHER person said "yeah thats the point of the 2017 one" which. Idk i have not thought about that because it didnt occur to me as a thing that could happen. and he's seen the entire show vs me whos only seen 4 episodes so he knows things i dont right. now i know that 2017 frank also has some redeeming qualities later on sure but whenever he does something thats meant to make you go "oh hes actually so complex as a character he contains multitudes" i just dont. trust him? i guess? in doing it? like i dont trust he does or says that with honesty.

but anyway with that out of the way the brief talk i had with that other person about this lead to me thinking that there is a slight difference in how a certain theme is portrayed? because he said "yeah thats the trope they wrote him to be, hes hurting the people he wants to save because hes overtaken by vengence" and like yeah right thats who the punisher is in general as a character thats the point partially but. the 2017 version seems to handle it in a very different way? sort of? or maybe its just the vibes i get but i feel like with comic frank the innocents that get hurt because of him are never *directly* because of him. its still the fault of his actions but its either because he drags them into situations (if were talking people who willingly associate with him) OR because the butterfly effect of his actions leads to situations where innocents he doesn't even know exist get hurt. and he doesnt even ever feel like he would hurt an innocent person on purpose, while 2017 frank has the vibe of a man who WOULD and i cant tell you why just something about the way hes written i guess i feel like he would throw a baby at someone. overall im never a fan of writing in shows aimed at adults because the jokes are never funny and its only ever "haha sex" which only worked for me in cyberpunk because there it was actually funny in a very stupid way.

this isnt a serious post or an analysis or anything its just me rambling about how i feel bc something about "yeah hes supposed to have very little redeemding qualities, thats how they wrote him" and "yeah he does feel like hed throw a random person under the bus for his mission" made me think incoherent thoughts. like sure frank castle is never meant to be actually redeemable thats not what i mean i just mean that it feels like the other versions are irredeemable but sympathetic. because of the redeeming qualities. like you look at him and you think wow this guy is a terrible person but also there are things about him that are undeniably good, while in the 4 episodes of the 2017 show my thoughts ended as wow this guy is a terrible person. and i dont have extensive punisher knowledge or anything i just really like what i got so far both as a concept and narrative but also in a personal way too so my opinion may be stupid idk

point being if i was a hostage and saw comic frank id be relieved bc while i may still die i will know hes gonna try his best while if i saw 2017 frank i would be just as if not more distressed

[lyriumsings]

oh damn I was just wondering if I should ask if you took oc questions and I saw a post about you wanting to talk about them. so. this is your sign: free pass tell me whatever you want about whoever you want. I’d like to know stuff about them (please. thank.)

This ask has literally been sitting here for like a year and I can’t stop thinking about my infamous mc so i’m gonna use this as a sort of preview introduction lol so anon if you’re out there im so sorry lmaooo and i absolutely love asks about my brain blorbos or anything really ngl i’ll probably copy and paste all this information to their Official Art ™️

Name: Octavia “Tavvi” Blackwater

Stage name: Tavvi

Pronouns: they/she

Sexuality: Bisexual

Band name: Beneath the Challenger (BTC). Octavia came up with the name and it’s basically a metaphor for them being super depressed lmao. It comes from the Challenger Deep which is the lowest point on earth beneath the Mariana’s trench.

Vocal Insp: donna missal (pinnacle voice bc for them tbh), The pretty reckless, the haunt

Music Insp: The Pretty Reckless, The Haunt, (for all of these bands i have very specific songs that i plug in as BTC’s lyrics lmao i have a playlist for them that i basically hc as their songs), Bad Omens (Just Pretend is SUCH a seven x mc song and i hc it as BTC’s best song), Mothica (VICES tho), and Honey Revenge! Here’s their playlist it grows everyday lmao

Fandom: Aquanauts. I hc that Maya figured out the bands meaning and picked based on that, Octavia genuinely loves it and finds it cute. And somehow the fact that the name makes sense to what the band name is makes them feel very seen and comforted tbh

Ep: Under the Water

Favorite unreleased single: The Slowest Heart (Which i actually took from Gilded Lily bc that song has heavy Octavia x Seven vibes) They have “the slowest heart” tattooed on there left rib age side boob area lol Although I feel like if she wrote it it’d be closer to the sped up version and a bit angrier mixed with hurt but the lyrics are perfect)

Romance: Seven’s ex. Still has his initials and doesn’t bother to cover it. And they are harboring a very blatant crush on Orion that if they’re being honest about started specifically because Orion seems pretty unattainable and they have no actual expectations of that fantasy becoming a reality (at least at first). Some cute stuff about them and seven tho: I hc fans called them Seven8 cuz Octavia means 8 or i guess Setavia works but Seven8 is so cute to me. And that seven had them in his phone as “8” and Octavia had him as “7 Ducky”

Some backstory:

Octavia is biracial her mom is white and her dad is black (specifically has afro indigenous roots but he was a foster kid so very estranged from these cultures) does not have a good relationship with their parents at all. Their parents didn’t really want kids? Sort of had Octavia because that’s what they were “supposed” to do next after getting married. Octavia is very much just an item checked off a list in a lot of ways regarding them. Very much the type of people who probably shouldn’t have had a kid not because they didn’t provide physically but they’re just emotionally nonexistent and incredibly dismissive lol. So yeah, so she had a very lonely childhood.

They did lots of ballet/contemporary dancing and soft ball which she does still actually enjoy as hobbies presently, but for the most part she’s obsessed with music and making music. They have a bat from highschool that they call “Lucky Lucy” where for two separate games in a row she hit nothing but home runs with it. Now, she takes it to every show and makes everybody touch Lucky Lucy before performing.

Octavia is obsessed with old hollywood glamour and old movies/shows from that era— most specifically Audrey Hempburn. They have several references/quotes from her tattooed on them: “never throw out anyone” is a partial quote from “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw anyone out.” that they have tattooed directly under their S.D. tattoo which is my favorite lol and another is “i was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.” probably on their opposite forearm from S.D. (There’s more but i gotta map them out.) They can do a transatlantic accent, and did so for many months as a teen to annoy their parents.

Lastly, romantic history: before Seven they had a girlfriend, Maria. Who was pretty much their polar opposite—very straight laced, serious, and structured but also incredibly sweet, polite, absolute wifey material—and honestly while she supported Octavia’s dream on a surface level she thought Octavia needed a more concrete plan for the future. They dated for about half of high school and split amicably when it became clear that Octavia wasn’t going to change/Octavia’s underlying feelings for Seven became a bit too obvious to ignore. They’re still in contact and friendly and Maria is married and has two kids.

Post Seven, Octavia had one serious relationship that was on and off for 8 months about a year after their initial split. It was bad. Incredibly toxic content warning type bad. Dean Clayton was the lead singer of another indie band Violet Vapors and was a general misogynistic piece of shit. It was a they just didn’t see the red flags until they were already in it type situation, bc no one advertises themself as a pos partner obvs. She doesn’t like to talk about it and borderline actively ignores it, but if they ever saw him again they’d probably take their bat to him tbh. Octavia is in a muuuuch better place now (comparatively speaking, which i mean the bar is in hell so do with that what ye will) still does drugs and drinks but it’s not nearly as bad as uhhh this era of their life.

[jinkicake]

I can’t keep letting these 5”5 men have a chokehold on me, it’s getting unreal bc if I go this con in February and see a rly pretty albedo I will FOLD ON THE DOTTED LINES😭 like I was thinking about how kazuha looks cute but he’s unhinged and I’m like the opposite kinda💀 literally people think I’m the one in charge of the relationship but he’s so sadistic😭 and he’s has HUGE Simon vibes,, cute police and smiley,very good w words, a fugitive, super strong- like they’re a lil too similar💀 my friend pointed out that I do have a type and I can only sigh. Kazuha will smile in your family’s face at a function like he didn’t rearrange your insides like 3 hours before and is gon do it again as soon as y’all leave, Simon will sit at the dinner table laughing w Lucifer and diavolo while he’s making eyes at you like “I am going to send you straight to the celestial realm” they’re both super into bondage, like kazuha will tie your arms behind your back and take you from behind outside. I’ve heard he likes to have sex w nice scenery and I agree he will take you to a cliff for a picnic and you’re like aww romantic but he has rope in his sleeve. Simon would invite you over to study(Bible study) but he doesn’t even let you put your stuff down before he’s pressing you up against the door and feeling you up. Here both definitely sex feinds😭 like it’s a regular Wednesday morning and they’re asking you to bounce on their cock💀kazuha is BOLD bc like he lives on the crux and who’s gunna beat his ass?? Like if he walks back on board w a pretty little thing on his arm all starry eyed, Beidou already knows she’s gunna catch a glimpse of him balls deep😔 fortunately there’s a rule about sharing whatever you bring on board bc it’s her boat💕 (it’s me I am for the streets and Beidou is so damn fine, ik she has a custom jade strap, she wields a claymore she could hold me up w one arm) she doesn’t look the least bit surprised to see kazuha bending you over in the captains quarters. And he don’t look like he’s been caught w his pants down😒 “I see you’ve been busy” “you were taking too long for my liking, I was just keeping them nice and warm for you” and it’s like ooohhhhhh y’all planned that💀 someone sent this to me and said it was kazuha

Like this would be him😭 rocks your world but he goes where the wind takes him so he’s out the next week. But I’m build differently I’ll prove myself by out fucking him to when he taps out he can get some sleep, and by the time he has to depart Inazuma he has to take me w him bc I have him under my thumb🥰🥰

no literally... how many times must we have this conversation! theyre 5'5!!!! guys under six foot are friends (not xiao tho)! one day i'll help you overcome this, i promise!

but also folding bc of albedo is so reasonable i understand it like idk what i would do if i actually saw one of these kaeyas out in real life... i would act like a complete and utter fool,,, begging for an ounce of kock or koochie loooool

now that youve brought it up.... we need more rough kazuha smut in this world! he is written so delicately and to be such a sweetheart but like where is fierce and crazy kazuha huh? where is he!!!!

naurrrr see if i were at a table w lucifer, simeon, AND diavolo... i would take lucifer and simeon to another room. diavolo can watch i guess smhhhhhh im inviting everyone!

dont- no beidou- im gonna go feral like that woman is so..... im drooling ugh i need her bad! oooh but a kazuha and beidou threesome now wait a min i really like the trust between them! that would be good-

NO THAT TWEET COULD ALSO BE ALBEDO TOO LIKEEEE THAT FANART I SENT YOU YESTERDAY... you can't tell me he wouldnt hit and then dip the next day and ghost you for life.... but back to kazuha i would cry if he ghosted me like that would hurt real badly huh

you just gotta follow kazuha w the wind... get a glider... kekeke that's how you keep him

[daylightaftertherain]

i was listening to Renegade by Big Red Machine (ft.Taylor) and like OMFG i literally have so many emotions over it being sooo wilmon-coded. LIKE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE LINE is just so them to me and im losing my mind ashdjgk

like the lyrics just radiate late s1 and early s2 simon pov energy- of him just not knowing the immensity of the pressure wille is under but also wanting to so desperately understand what wille expects off of him and for wille to just GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER SO THAT SIMON CAN LOVE HIM😭😭😭 i just might make a more coherent post on my thoughts and feelings but for now i would loveee to hear ur analysis :]]

bestie!!!! agree with all of your points 100%, and I'm so glad you gave me a chance to ramble about renegade. I fucking love that song and it is seriously one of the most wilmon coded songs ever

anyway here's an obscenely long verse by verse analysis bc I have nothing better to do rn and you've unlocked the insanity of my spending over a year obsessing over this song

okay first of all renegade tells the entire story of yr chronologically from simon's pov if you really think about it, so that's how I'm going to approach it

second of all, just the word "renegade" screams wilmon. it means "a deserter from one faith, cause, or allegiance to another," or "an individual who rejects lawful or conventional behavior." ajskhdkjashdjhsjdhkjs ??????????

I tapped on your window on your darkest night The shape of you was jagged and weak There was nowhere for me to stay But I stayed anyway

this gives s1ep4 vibes, what with the window imagery (august tapping on windows), and wille's "jagged and weak" state of mind. and the fact that simon fell asleep sititng up, because he felt like there was "nowhere" for him to stay, since he had to keep an eye of wille, so he "stayed anyway."

And if I would've known How many pieces you had crumbled into I might've let them lay

this to me could either be simon regretting briefly getting himself invovled so deeply with wille, but still sticking with him because he loves wille. or, simon realizing how much shit wille has to go through with his title and the environment he's been raised in, and thinking back to the argument they had in s2ep4 (ish? I'm not quite sure when they had the fight I'm referring to), where wille says simon's the one who can't accept who he is. it's simon thinking about how he probably would've "let them lay."

Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these? And let all your damage damage me And carry your baggage up my street And make me your future history

first line is simon's first thought when wille tells him they only have to wait for two years in s2ep2, because they're past talking about the future, not when wille's already gone against his own promises and left simon alone (to simon, at least). next two lines kinda explain themselves, it's simon saying "don't you realize you've hurt me?" but, the "make me your future history" line is soooo good when you think about it with wilmon, because after s1ep6, their relationship became just "history," but after the s2 finale, they are literally making history, so it kind of foreshadows the jubilee speech.

It's time, you've come a long way Open the blinds, let me see your face You wouldn't be the first renegade To need somebody

first line is again foreshadowing for the speech, and wille has seriously come a long way over just two seasons. "open the blinds, let me see your face" has so much meaning behind it, what with the curtain imagery and the way the curtains were the only thing that could've protected their privacy, so "let me see your face" could be the feeling of the whole world demanding to know who simon was, since he was the only recognizable person in the video. but, I like to think about in another way too. wille hides behind a public persona, just like a pair of curtains, so "let me see your face" could also be simon pleading with wille to show the real version of himself.

"you wouldn't be the first renegade/to need somebody" could be talking about wille's therapy sessions, especially because queer people have always been renegades, but wille also being a queer royal?? and the way queer royals have existed throughout history and probably needed someone the way wille and simon need each other and a support system and someone to talk to in the way wille has boris now??? also the way the two lines are separated with "you wouldn't be the first renegade" being one line and "to need someone" being another and how that validates wille's queer existence first and then tells him it's okay to need someone regardless of who he is???? I'm going to jump off a cliff jfc

Is it insensitive for me to say Get your shit together? So I can love you

this. THIS. simon fell for wille just as hard, and he was in love in s1. I'm not accepting any arguments against this. this is him asking wille to figure himself out first and figure out what he wants before simon allows himself to properly love him again. poetry.

Is it really your anxiety That stops you from giving me everything? Or do you just not want to?

ashjgdkjhsgdskh okay so we know wille has anxiety, but we also know he's not completely helpless, like the boy can power through and be confident if he wants to. so this is so significant, since simon has seen the parts of wille that are willin=g to fight, the only thing that's stopping him is himself. and the "do you just not want to" has s2 simon vibes, but specifically episode three and four.

You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself But do you know you're demolishing me? And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave

I might've already talked about this but this is just the entirety of the s1 "breakups" with wille pushing and pulling simon in and out, and how simon's a little more broken every time he gets rejected after allowing himself hope. and the "because you hate yourself" line is so ???? wille breaks thing off over and over because he feels like he has to, as the crown prince, but he also hates his title. simon on the other hand, sees wille as the monarchy, so wille hates himself. that means even as he "fire[s] off missiles" aimed at the crown, he's just demolishing himself, and hurting himself hurts simon.

And if I would've known How sharp the pieces were you'd crumbled into I might've let them lay

the difference between just pieces and sharp pieces comes into focus after the denial, because if simon still keeps trying to help wille piece himself back together, he'll be the one with bloody cuts all over his hands. that's why he breaks things off, and tells wille to do it himself. it also reminds me of the glass pieces of the snowglobe, and wille trying to put it back together (there's a whole other post about this I'll make later).

Open the blinds, let me see your face You wouldn't be the first renegade To need somebody

To need somebody To need somebody To need somebody To need somebody

"I could be free. with you." "this is how it is. this is how I feel. but you have to do what's right for you." the repetition of "to need somebody" and wille building a stronger support system through his friends and his therapist and the way simon also needs somebody too and wille's becoming someone simon can rely on and-

Is it insensitive for me to say (let all your damage damage me) Get your shit together (carry your baggage up my street) So I can love you? (And make me your future history)

*deep breath* *screaming* the first line is simon telling wille he doesn't really care if he's being insensitive, because wille hurt him. the seocnd line is that talk aboutside simon's house in s2ep5, with wille finally getting his shit together and metaphorically caryring all of his bagge up simon's street and laying everything out for him. and that's how simon falls for him all over again, starting the path towards the two of them making history together. *screaming*

(It's time, you've come a long way) is it really your anxiety (Open the blinds, let me see your face) that stops you from giving me everything (You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody) Or do you just not want to?

OUTRO TIME :D it's the jubilee speech in a nutshell, basically. wille's come so far from everything he's gone through, and "it's time" for him to make his stand. at first, it looks like he's not giving simon everything when august is about to replace him, but he gets up there, and "open[s] the blinds," letting everyone see him for himself, but turning after he comes out to smile at simon and letting him see his face. "you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody" wille's the first out queer royal, and behind all of that, he has people who he needs and who need him, and he and simon have each other. "or do you just not want to?" wille doesn't want to hide, keep secrets, and hurt people anymore, and he says that in his speech. wille ends it with doing the one thing he wants - telling simon and the world that he loves him.

[bonesandthebees]

THE SONG U SUGGESTED IS SO INTNESSEFFGW OGKYGOD IM SO SCAREDDD

PHYTHIA WANNABEE OH FUCKFHALDHDPDJFLKSLRNFKNSD

OHMYFUCKINGGODDD

THATS WHERE U PUT MR BEASTSJFKFKLGLGKSKSFLGG

IM CRYIGNKDJSKG BEEEEE

I started reading it thinking "wow what a deep commentary about the glass society and in turn ours-" before realizing it was mr beast 😭

This song DOES fit so well damn wtf

You know, I think it's interesting that rn the pov is The Pythia rather than Wilbur, even tho he's running away from well "being" the Pythia

There's smth to be said here if i were a much smarter person... lmao

Maybe the pressure of everything and being faced with his old name makes him revert back to it

Also I just had to run to catch the bus, 10/10 running music, made me run faster i think LMAO

Oh no

THE LUNGS

OH NO

IS THAT WHAT YHE VISION WAS ABOUT?!?!?! OHMYGOD NOOOO

THE MSUCIDS GETITNG MORE ITNENSE THIS FITS TOO WELL

IS

IS TOMMY GOING TO SUGGEST

IS TOMMY GOING TO SUGGEST HE TAJES HIS BLINFOLD OFF HOLYSHTI OHMGYDO WHAYRJGUVK ISHFPEURKF

IM GONANA SCREAMMMSHFLDKF I CANT DO THIS IM ON A PUBLIC BUS OHFNUCMGNFIFJGOKDR

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OHMUGUPD

THIS IS DEF ONE OF MY FAV CHAPTERS OHKYGOD THIS IS SO GOOD BEE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OHMYFUCIJGIGOGOD I CANT DO THSI INCANT DO THIS

Im going to be sick. Im going to be sick IM GOINY-

BEE.

HOLFYCUKHIGODIDKPAOEFODPIDFOJFLDHFOFHSOFBDKFBDOFBFKGKFLF

THIS WAS NOY HOW I EXPECTED THE FIRST EYE CONTACR IN YEARS TO GO NOOO PHFJJGUDOS OHKYGOD I CANT I CANT IM GOING TO DIE OHMYGOS I AM GOIGN TO GET A HEART ATATCK AN DPERISH OHMGOD

HES WILBUR AGAIN

WHO THE FU--

OHMYGOD

THEYRE BACK ALREADY?@?$,%*=[*=%

God i can imagien how fucking smug u wrre writing this chaptehrffojgkgjfydofus

I LOVE HIM

THEY MADE IT BACK?!?! NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TBH BUT I'LL TAKE, ILL FUCKING TAKE IT OHMYGOD

U DIDNT KILL HIM WILBUR ISTG ITS OKAY OUT OF EVERYONE FOR U TO LOOK IN YHE EYE HE WAS RHE 2ND BEST

I say 2nd best bc phil is pretty much dating death so- DHFKD

Im goingnto cry

THE UNDERWORLD

HES STILL WILBUR

I dont even know how i wanna react, idk if i wanna keysmash, scream, swear, or cry ohmygod

:( ive been waiting for this moment but also FUCKKK tbis is painful im gonna cry on this bus i can feel it sgfjfnf

I love tommy so much ohjygod

Glass tommy mvp :( i lvoe him hes so sweet:(*

And now during this emotional conversation i switch songs

Embarrassingly enough by boyscott is such a good song to listen to while reading emotional scenes in fics

FUCKK I DIDNT FINISH BEFORE CLASS oh well time to read in class amen, im almost done anyway

OOOHBH GOD THIS MIGUTVE BEEN A MISTAKE I WANNA CRY AT THEIR HUG OHHHHMJGODJDJFJDKD

Ohmygod

Tommy:(

Ohmygor

Ohmgydo

I am not okay

I am not okay

Ooooooohhhh my gosh:((((((

WHERE'S THEIR DAD, WHERE'S PHIL, HE'LL KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS, SURELY

Ooohmygod

ITS NOT THEIR FAULT!!!

Though, them not telling phil and tech about the vision is, but i dont think it would've changed anything ooohmygoodness my heart hurts:(

Bee blz how could u

(This was a fucking amazing chapter though holyshit, this is gonna be one of those scenes i reread over and over again ohmygoddd)

very glad you guys are all liking the song. it's such intense chase scene vibes and I think the electronic beats really makes it perfect for the glass universe. there was another song from the same movie soundtrack I debated listening to but then I tried to write to it and was like hmm no container park is a better track instead

well the mr beast moment is supposed to be an example of the dystopian capitalist hellscape that exists in the glass universe, and dystopian settings are meant to be exaggerated versions of the society we currently live in to point out the flaws so yeah it is commentary lol. I have a lot of feelings regarding mr beast and the contrast between the philanthropic work he does while simultaneously exploiting people's financial struggles for entertainment but that's a discussion for another day

LMAO not listening to the song while running to the bus 😭

I am so sorry for your heart rate very glad it invoked the right emotions though :) I was very smug writing this entire chapter

phil is out having a business meeting he'll get to deal with this mess in the morning

I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed!! I struggled a lot writing this bc I hate writing action scenes as you know, so I kept second guessing if the pace was good or not the entire damn time but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out in the end

[mvalentine]

so im just sitting in jfk thinking thoughts and ignoring cam and catching up on our trr2 replay and my mind is wandering to the land of wasted potential… like an Olivia spin off backstory whatever because the TENSION in bk2 where she’s like ‘Hes marrying her and in love with you etc etc’ and she runs off hurts my heart 💔 if we got to choose how the story played out in a true choose ur own adventure doo you think liam/adam x Olivia could be a thing? Do you think they ever were???

And in that camping scene pls give me ur hc on Audrey x Drake bc my girl Anya still hasn’t kissed the bloke by then and is she horny on main 🥲😅

LMAOO as you should good to know you have your priorities in check <333 but nah fr dom i hope you’re feeling alot better now!!

also omg YES both me & audrey in the camp of feel bad for her because you can tell that liam is the only person she’s ever loved & omg she’s loved him for AGES crown or no crown it’s always been liam for her. & im actually in the camp of people who believe that yeah, olivia x the prince could be a real thing!! i really like their fire & ice dynamic, & i would totally live for an au where olivia moves on post engagement fail but was liam’s biggest support system post his heartbreak but then liam starts seeing her in a different light & starts get jealous and shit & then is like wait why am i jealous oh no….. oh wait…… it can’t be…… i want HER to be pined after i want the one who’s pined their whole life to be the one who’s pined for (a la loml pen <333) but yk at the end of the day im maddie & olivia ride or die. but tell me your thoughts!!!! i need to know 💗💗💗

also AHHHHH the camping scene another one of my fav scenes honestly the writers were truly feeding us drake romancers in book2 <333 but also BESTIE anya has more self restraint than me or audrey because goddamn. no but like the way he takes it so seriously & is giving out orders is so adorable to her like is this man fr. and that scene where she goes in the tent she’s kinda like wtf am i doing the prince im supposed to marry is literally right next to us have i lost my mind?!? & then he’s all like wtf are you doing here & this bitch is just like i need body heat <333 and he’s just like shit oh yeah true (like WHAT. i can’t tell if the choices drake knows that the mc is being fr or nah. kinda like the vibe of drake taking camping & the mc’s well-being so seriously that he’s just like yup! okay valid!) —- but anyways the scene where the mc is like you take it so seriously you were barking out orders & then drake is like wait did i ruin it :( with his sad face AHHHH i swear audrey wanted to kiss that adorable little pout from his face she’s like nah it was cute & he’s like cute? and she’s like yeah 🥰 & then he’s all like what else can i do to make your experience more memorable miss huntzberger like shut UP they’re such dorks!! but also i SWEAR mr. walker was down to fornicate (the true meaning of dtf btw!!) in those woods like if fuckin maxwell ugh i really dislike him more & more each play hadn’t interrupted i swear they would have fucked like this man was really like yeah next time we’re coming to the woods alone im gonna go down on you all night you can be as loud as you want baby. but yeah the whole time anya was just thinking of how much she wants this simple life with him how easy & right it feels how right he feels ugh she’s so in love it’s actually sickening to witness.