#whoop i feel shitty again!!!! whats fucking new!!!

[mintylovesbrat]

Watching Him Fade Away Quackity x Reader

Hello everyone! Checked my inbox and someone requested an argument headcanon for Quackity so I hope you y’all like it!

If anyone wants to request, my inbox is still open and I can write for other people as well if you want.

My writing may be bad since I’m getting back into it so please be patient with me :D Sorry for making it sad, I was listening to sad songs so yee! Enough rambling and on to the story! 🌙 🤍🩵

-HelloMoonlightLuna🌙🤍

Arguments usually don’t happen between you and quackity, maybe small arguments about a misplaced item but you guys talk it out to ease out small tension.

Not this time though, this all started when you and Quackity were throw insults as a joke but it got a bit personal when Quackity started to tell you about how you dressed as if you wanted to hook up with everyone that kept staring at you.

This made you very upset because he knows that you were trying new styles to feel confident in yourself but insulting you saying the clothes you wore were giving hooker vibes?

The clothes weren’t even revealing at all! He knows how insecure you are and yet decided to insult you personally.

That’s how the argument started and it’s getting progressively worse now that they are both screaming at each other.

“Why would you say that Alex!? This was supposed to light hearted insults not personal insults! Did I ever say something to personally insult you!? No Alex I never did why? Because I know how insecure you are of yourself and I WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING TO BRING YOU DOWN! Are you going to say something or stay quiet!?” You screamed while glaring at him.

“Well how can I respond when you are screaming at me and interrupting me while I’m trying to apologize!? But it seems you don’t want to listen to me so you won’t get an apology! Why would I want to apologize to someone when they are flirting knowing that you’re in a relationship and you decide to flirt in FRONT IF ME!? Like don’t you realize how I felt in that moment!? NO BECAUSE YOU WERE TO BUSY LAUGHING AT THEIR JOKES WHILE THEY WERE LOOKING UP AND DOWN ON YOU!” He yelled while pulling his hair in frustration.

“Are you trying to accuse me of cheating!? All because I laughed at their jokes!? Wow that’s how low you think of me trying to cheat on you huh? Well you’re wrong because for once their jokes were actually funny unlike your stupid jokes you make that aren’t even funny!! Maybe you should try to take classes of how to become funnier and make a YouTube video about!? Funny how all this started all because you insulted how I dressed and how you let you’re insecurities get the best of you! Whoops sorry I didn’t mean to personally insult you about your relationship insecurities! Now you know how I felt in that moment right!?” I yelled while holding my head knowing a headache is forming from all the yelling.

“Oh wow now you are personally insulting me by using my insecurities!? You know what I had enough of this! I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS ON ME ALREADY AND HAVING YOU AROUND HERE IS MAKING IT WORSE! You act like you know how to fix every problem we have and try to be a supportive girlfriend when in reality you don’t fucking know shit and the advice you would are always shitty!” Screamed Alex while looking at you but his heart dropped when he saw the tears forming in your eyes and your hands started shaking from the sadness and anger you held in.

“You know what let’s just end the relationship right here and right now! I was trying to be a supportive girlfriend and tried to help you out with your streams but I guess what I did wasn’t helpful at all and the advices I give were shitty. I guess I don’t know fucking shit like you said, don’t worry I’ll start packing my things so I can try to leave by tomorrow afternoon. I’ll have someone help me out so you don’t have to see me ever again and I hope you find someone better than me, someone that actually gives you good advice and helps you out.” You cried while covering your face to hide the redness.

He just stood there quiet knowing that there’s nothing he can do to try to patch the relationship up and whatever he tries to say won’t work. He just turns around and heads to his office to try to do some homework. He knew the relationship will never get fixed, he knew that if both were still together, things will only get worse. He doesn’t want to hurt you again like he did earlier.

You went to your guys bedroom and started packing up the important things like clothes and documents. You texted your friend to try to help you move the bigger stuff tomorrow. After you were done you went to lay on the bed and started crying knowing that this relationship will never get fixed, the way he insulted you and how you insulted him as well. If you try to stay with him, things will get worse and you don’t want that, you don’t want to hurt him again.

As they both fell asleep, they know it’s going to be hard to move on from each other but this is for the best. Maybe one day they might reconcile or they may find new partners who knows but they wish nothing but the best for each other.

Thank you for reading! I tried my best and like I said I was listening to sad songs about breakups 😮‍💨 Also my inbox is open for requests! Sooo if you want to send one it will be open! I’ll try to work on them as fast as I can since I’m busy with life ☺️ Thank you my lovely moonstones🌙🤍🩵 See you all next time!

-HelloMoonlightLuna🌙🤍

[robotsrawesome64]

Idk if your still accepting match ups for COD but here you go.

I’m a Gemini, ENFJ, trans Masc, He/Him, I’m a bit mouthy with a lot of different hobbies. I cuss a lot and pick at the skin around my thumbs as a nervous habit. I have a hard time opening up to people and tend to flinch when I get touched by someone for the first time. But once I do get friendly with you I tend to make more sexual jokes and crasser humor.

I wear glasses and usually long pants with sweater or tank tops with open button ups.

I’m Aromantic but Allosexual which means I have a hard time forming romantic attachment with people, but I wouldn’t find physical intimacy or affection.

I’m a cuddler, I love blankets and stuffed animals. I like music and writing. My favorite animal is a bunny.

I love cooking for people and others. So in the COD universe I would probably be just a civilian who works at a restaurant or something.

I’m fine with light angst and I prefer someone from task force 141.

Thank you so much for this!

S-S-S-S-SIMON

TWS: Implication of abusive home life, physical abuse scar, anxiety, picking, smoking(tobacco and weed), light drinking, aro dread (worry of being romantically liked), work stress (+reader shouts in kitchen), customer service, anger for shitty higher up, sudden snappy rejection to joke-brief mention, momentary disassociation+heat descriptive, gossip mention, momentary suggestiveness, depressivey thinking (PURP=SIMON) + Cuddly/platonic touchy Simon, aro4aro, hope this is ok and doesn't read too romantic, was thinking close squish vibes 😭💕 (im slowly learning; education welcome) Realistically sexual attraction would probz be a huge part but I cannae write it so feel free to mind blast the gaps

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Young adult Simon begrudgingly picking up a kitchen porter job. A role in your kitchen- well, as far as anybody was concerned. You'd been promoted to sous chef fast in this crappy bar/restaurant hybrid joint, which would be surprising if not for the paint peeling off the walls and constant inconsistencies of management.

Such as: yet again, you are left understaffed on a peak day and YOU had to lead ship because your shitass head chef didn't show up. Whoop de doo. What's more, you're tasked with training the fucking new guy, who- when you first had to come find him- seemed to have an attitude with an entitled cocky sway and his hands in his pockets. But that wasn't important right now; you had shit to prep and fast.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Safe to say the day was a blur. You muttering rushedly and guiding him in and around, barely getting a chance to meet him and take the sight of him in; just cringing as you try to squeeze past the big guy without touching, to and from your station.

The most you got was your anxious glances over your shoulder to check everything was running; that he was doing his job. A flash of his tatted arm flexing to press down the pass-through dish washer, suggesting the patchy art went up further when his crusty spare uniform's sleeve would move slightly in the motion. Oh, uh- good for him. Focus up.

What you hadn't gotten the space to witness was how Simon's personal too-good-for-this ambiance had quickly flattened into his tall frame curling over the sinks uncomfortably. His head down, diligent and thorough, only daring to give you morbidly interested side-glances when you weren't looking. He was otherwise very tuned in to the sound of you barking arguably obscenely worded orders at the junior chefs, daze only broken when one was suddenly directed at him- in which he whipped his head up to obey with a croaked out "Yes, chef."

Which made you double-take; this wasn't that kinda snooty establishment. He almost made your stressed scowl turn to a laugh from the shock, but no, he seemed dead serious as he effectively completed your request.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Before you knew it you had survived the reckoning of unprecedented big tables and last-minute front-of-house promised function food, leaving your eyes glazed in the direction of the finally unmoving ticket machine after allowing your chefs break. The uncomfortable wet trickle down the back of your neck expanded your awareness back into your body: the warm flush from the kitchen's humidity; the sore realization of your fingers on your thumb; the..gaze on the back of you? Sure enough, Simon 'casually' turned his head back around to totally (/s) focus on his piled-up workload. The hums of machinery, radio and distant chatter all seemed tensely faint in the silence of you two mandatorily alone.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ But hey, he definitely wasn't so bad. His gloomy, blunt countenance entertaining no-one (except maybe you, and a couple front-of-house girlies) when he barely bothered to stay after work for group drinks, etcetera. Don't get me wrong, he certainly had his own dry spark, but more often than not he'd seem to small-talk folks into a corner so he could back out and leave (especially with the girls). Sigh. Destined to never bond with the weird dude on a night out.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Or so that was your estimate, until mid adrenaline-filled panic from a work mistake, you see him over there reservedly wiggling to your music from the kitchen speaker as he worked. Or the first time he talked back to you in the kitchen, loud deadpan delivery as he teased you (to your co-workers' bafflement)- which just resulted in a loop of increasingly sweary quarreling, to Simon's probably-shouldn't-be growing smile to himself.

Thankfully, despite his words, he didn't fuck around. You could trust him with his role plenty fine. Or just trust him at work in general.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ When your head chef finally decided to clock in and had the nerve to start talking you out on this and that- oh my god. You did your best, but come break your hand was already exasperatedly dragging across your face as you walked to your spot. Simon roughly there too, mid smoke. Probably due back soon.

He nodded up in recognition, letting you settle before potentially opening the floodgates.

"He's a twat."

If you wanted to just sit, he'd sit. Plenty same if you needed to talk, allowing you good, deep time to vent whilst ad-libbing in agreement at your head's absolute expense.

None would go unnoticed, nor the way how your nails kinda fucked up your thumb as you spoke. It's not like he'd be on your ass about picking, just...details. Conclusively, your strife had successfully absorbed over to him, and now he was just bubbling in sympathetic frustration at the unfairness at his teammates energy being wholly undermined, disrespected and taken.

One thing was sure, full seriousness, if you wanted to go to HR/etc. about it, he'd absolutely have your back.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Second thing: the next day when he clocked in, he pulled something fluffy out his bag. What's tha- aww. A fuzzy little plush white rabbit, how cute is that? Conveniently pocket size. You tease him, because that didn't usually seem to be his style, before he's casually plopped it in your hands.

How did he..? I guess a lot of public conversations happen on the clock, and that he was listening to yours.

It was..nice..but..? It wasn't a nice feeling in your stomach, anxiously fiddling with Pocket Bunny instead with an thousand yard stare as you processed your emotions. You liked him, definitely, but the thoughtful gesture planted that worry that he was romantically interested. To say the least, it's always such a headache feeling forced to put out a 'disclaimer' on your existence. Co-worker gossip wasn't helping.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So, you were brave. The pit in your gut uncomfortably hollowing further when he enthusiastically agreed to join for after-work drinks (because you asked), something he still barely does.

What seemed like excruciating filler time later, you're finally mostly alone, squeezed into some semi-sticky booth-table-thing. Simon leant over to you, squinting through the erratic dim, dark purple lights and shouting conversation over rumbly generic club music with his other hand on his drink.

Eventually you blurt out back the topic of your worries. Kind of. Not exactly confessing, but making the questions of orientation inescapable. Your heart just pounds faster when he pronounces back a, "WHAT?", leaning closer, 'cause he can't hear for shit in here- making you double down and repeat yourself until he's looking at you a little dumbfounded. How the dancing lights reflected pure off his wide dark ones was stressful until he burst out into a ramble, that piece by piece, seemed to resemble your own thoughts. Like a description for aromanticism by someone who didn't know the term. Your tension relievedly, gradually breaking and melting off. Adrenaline, however, still there as you bounce back in educational agreement.

It was like a weight had been lifted, truly. For him too apparently. The hypocrisy of the head chef being back wasn't as bad as previously thought if it meant more time slacking off with him. Sarcastic, bawdy back-and-forths in the kitchen that actually got him to crack into a proper chuckle (and got you both told off). Just shit that shouldn't be said that Simon was unblinking at, just returning that attentive amused look that got you through the day.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So much so that Simon actually picked up more shifts. Something he was hesitant about from the workplace itself, but he needed the money, and being out the house was very welcome and having a friendly face there made it not-so-bad.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Or-finally- someone to side-eye at their peers and heads weird shit. Better yet to back you up, when Simon spoke out for you a couple of times. Someone to babble, pace and rant to outside in their own little break spot whilst he smoked.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ More shifts meant seeing each-other more, all of them. So when you eventually crack, from just life in general, or the last straw from the kitchen, he'd meet with you as soon as he could, offering a presence, a hug.. anything you want.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ His hugs are really fucking good. Cozy as hell. You can bury your face in the crook of his neck or his chest and he wouldn't flinch, just hugging you tighter, patting your head and stroking it. He's warm. Especially if it's after work and he's wearing that black thick hoodie he always does- omigod it's so soft. Well, not the most expensive fabric ever, but his presence makes it comfortable. Plus a lil' kiss on the top of your head if that's your thing.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ If that's something you both fall into, he jumps at the opportunity; touch-starved as fuck.

Leaning arms crossed over the bar to hover next to you, lurking over you; hugging your waist while he's waiting to go post-close; holding your waist for a sec to brush past you in the kitchen. From what was meant to be a simple break and hug, one time they found you straight-up conked out laying in the drystore in eachothers arms.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ He always waits for you until you're ready to leave together. Which might mean Simon with his hands in his pockets, having to sneakily get probed for the nature of your relationship by gossip-ier coworkers. To which he shrugs and deflects something or other. It wasn't any of their business (nor was he sure). Boys will be boys, they guess.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ But yeah. In pitch black night, almost every night, he escorts you home if you let him. Holding hands if you want. Sometimes smoking a joint. A stupidly lengthy journey (for him) to your doorstep and back to his, whether you drive, do public transport or whatever. He disguised it as casual good companionship. He didn't want to be creepy, its just.. that flicker of reluctance in his eyes when you got to your destination gave you the impression he was purposefully putting off having to face his home.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Days pass. Weeks become months. New people rotating in and out of the team. The days get longer, welcome spring breeze stilling to more humid heatwaves. But he's always there.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ One new thing about Simon: he was off sick for a few weeks, and now he's back. But he's almost always wearing a surgical mask? He didn't seem sick anymore, I mean..maybe a little more mellow, then snappy, not as into your banter as usual.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So one night he's walking you back, sweating through that dumb mask- which he switched out to a black one he keeps using- you invite him in. Sleepover, or something?

He's surprised maybe, but after using the last of his energy for a subdued cautious sweep of the place, he's exhausted. He double-bounces backwards back on your bed, still adjusting his mask back up from the movement, looking up to find an adorable welcome menagerie of stuffed animals.

It almost makes him smile. First proper one in a while as he looks over to you and takes in the sight of your room, hand subconsciously stretching out to reach for your knee and rub circles. Oh, and to snatch that little bunny out of your pocket, hugging it to him instead with a smirk. Bonus points if he pisses you off.

With the blankets soft against his head and side, he got an idea. Unraveling them, gesturing you closer to properly wrap you in his arms and nuzzle down into the cozy bed situation. With bunny, him and the whole gang. Maybe you could go to sleep like this. But, come on, surely without the mask-?

He caught your wrist at even an indication of the thought of it, gently holding it back down against his chest. From your close proximity you could finally see the beginnings of a big healing scar at the the top of his cheek where the mask moved slightly in his vague refusal. Ah.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ There was a lot of unkind things in this world, but Simon was not. (Uh, to you at least.) You could only give his hand a reassuring squeeze in the hopes that life would lighten for you both. And if not? At least you'd always have each-others back.

B-B-B-BONUS ROUND:

Steals your glasses and looks stupid in them.

Performs elaborate yet half-hearted puppet shows with your stuffed toys.

Periodically asks what you're writing now, squinting over your shoulder. His tones dry but he needs to be updated of the drama, damn it.

Exchanges the most would-be-an-eyeroll sideye of solidarity over at you when he seems to get flirted with romantically. Or fems in general. They just don't seem to get the hint.

Subtly acts like a space-making service dog for you in crowded places or if it looks like someone's gonna touch you.

photo cred~ @yumethefrostypanda

[patorucho]

now yell and scream about workplace violation

kian saved them for last because good fucking God. hi eveeyone its beau 💾 i have many thoughts. everyone, look AWAY.

[FOR ANYONE WILLING TO SEE ME AND MY HEADMATE CRUMBLE , CONTEXT THIS SHIP IS ABOUT A RPVERSE PATORUCHO FROM OUR QSMP RPVERSE YAOIVERSE. PATO IS A GUY NAMED JEREMY WITH LORE ALRIGHT? COOL.]

FIRST AND FORE FUCKING MOST . THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS VERY VERY COMPLEX.

even from the VERYYY BEGINNING. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WOULD BE. THIS GUY'S FAMILY WAS FUCKING KILLED BY THIS THING. HE HATES THEIR GUTS, AND THEY HATED HIM TOO. FOR . some... reason? thats not normal, right ?

they actually had no idea why ! cucurucho was just Playing along!!!!!! THEY DONT UBDERSTAND A LOT OF THINGS ACTUALLY, THEY MIMIC AND JUST NOD THEIR HEAD SOMETIMES !! BUT THEY LIKED THIS GUY!! WHY? DUNNO! KIND OF CUTE TO THEM.

but for a LONG TIME. THEY WERE STUCK IN THIS FUCKING RIVALRY WHICH WAS JUST ONE SIDED AND VERY DESERVING ANGER AND HATE.

AND FOR SOME REASON??? THIS STARTED CRUMBLING?????

BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK. WOULD YOU GO:

"[cucurucho] doesnt have a penis, not that i know of anyway. i mean what who said that." "get AWAY from [cucurucho]. theyre MY greatest enemy, theyre only allowed to call ME baby boy." "JEALOUS?! im NOT jealous. indulge in [cucurucho's] desires all you want because i DONT CARE."

"WAIT THEYRE NOT SINGLE? WHERE DID YOU GET THIS INFORMATION?" "[looking sullen and depressed over them having a boyfriend]" "[interrupted from staring at their flat fucking chest in a dress, turning BRIGHT RED AND MOVING HIS FUCKING HAND AWAY FROM THEIR PAW.] AH-! [STARTS WIPING HIS HAND ON HIS SHIRT??]"

[WHATEVER THAT KISS WAS????? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT MAN???? YOU KISSED YOUR FAMILY'S KILLER AND NEARLY FELL IN LOVE???????]

TO YOUR FUCKING ROBOT BEAR BOSS WHO AGAIN, KILLED YOUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF YOU.

but jeremys not fucking CRAZY. he can SEE them. he can fucking Tell that rucho's Different and theres a Front and hes fucking That out while figuring whatever the Fuck hes feeling about them

because with those anger and guilt and disgust etc hes fucking lonely man. he really doesnt talk to anyone but this fucking Robot most of the time. and with it you kind of Learn about them. Slowly. thus the Weird lingering background feeling of Huh..what Is this? is it friendship? is it love? who the fuck knows! but it certainly is hiding behind your hatred for it like a red tinted glass.

and it Cracks for a brief moment before holding up again, and then cracks again slowly. And somehow overtime they get acquianted, talk a lot more, bond. he tolerates cucurucho for a bit to co-parent this orphaned experiment child that he Maybe is getting a little attached to. they bond over this, he fucking gets thrown into jail, he meets a new friend, he gets weirdly jealous over friend exploiting his jealousy, and they reunite, bond again, bond a little Too much that i think theyre busy breaking the bed way way too much. and , they get along as friends. and then have sex again before rucho Dies whoops sorry.

and My god. the Despair this bitch had when they did was Massive. lost someone he cared about part two. and part three immediately after so That was shitty.

AND THEN YAY! REVIVAL! IMAGINING THE FUCKING RELIEF THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD SEEING RUCHO'S BODY SLUMPED OVER AND ACTUALLY ABLE TO SALVAGE. HIS FRIEND!! ALIVE!!!!! AND HE WAS ABLE TO ACTUALLY SAVE SOMEONE.

AND RUCHO WAS SO THANKFUL!!!! they DEVOTE themself to him, BY PROGRAMMING. CONSIDERING THAT HES THE ONLY FUCKING ALIVE GUY IN THE FEDS. BUT ALSO? FAG WISE? SOON. UNDERWAY. AND LINGERING.

with no higher ups this gets into the rucho transition era yay ^_^ fat tgirl genderless moment!! and, if im so fucking real. if rucho fell first, jeremy fell HARDER. FELL BAD. FELL ATROCIOUSLY DOWN HORRENDOUS. HEAD OVER HEELS AND 6 FEET UNDER.HE WAS STRUGGLING.

you can see this in canon my man was STRUGGLING TO BREATHE. like after the transition and their talk, revival of their friendship and almost daily talks, the red tinted glass barrier of his hatred? shattered btw. those feelings he felt about them fucking announced themselves loudly and he hadto SURVIVE being in the same office building as this fucking bear while listening to them yap in their new voicebox in their new fat round body with boobs and a belly as they giggle shyly with angels flying around them like theyre from the heavens. confirmedby kark that jeremy falls hard almost every conversation really badly the more rucho opens up about themself freely. LOSER. this is my favorite era

but gahhhhhhhh he cares a lot :'(. that fucksme up SO MUCHHHHB. WHEN BARI RIPPED RUCHO'S HEAD OVER HE WAS THISSSS CLOSE TO CONFESSING. "—How would you feel if someone who lo- cares about you—" AND HE DOESIN THE END. "You know I like you right? I honestly really really like you too." he asksthem out on a date and stutters about romance WAHH. "—[the date] can be romantic if you want, I mean I don't mind. I-I mean, um." <- i forgot the exact wording but he focuses on tracing his finger on their paw to fully get the request that he wants to take them on a date out and when they tease him he gets flustered about it whahahurhhajha imf not normal.

datehappens and thus , begins the Together arc. LOTS PLANNED.CAN I SPOIL? I WISH. BUT ITSPLANNED. WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN? I DONTFUCKINGKMO W. I DONTWANT TO BOTHER KARK HES BUSY TO WRITE STUOID SHIT WITH ME ON TUMBLR. BUT GAH.

Currently right now theyre having a good time. really sweet even, theyre comfortable with each other as.partners and parents with their daughter coming back home to be officially adopted !!! yayyy!!! my bBABYYYY..!!

but this arc will put their relationship to the Test ^_^. New obstacles for them as theyre both past the hatred and old anger and the Past. rucho is stuck in it though, still hates them for it and ofc they do, they feel awful but jeremy forgives them and underestands that rucho didnt choose to hurt him :-(. mmjhwhghhhhdffffff.........

anyway. they love each other its Sickening. from hate to tolerance to slowburn to pure fucking love. thats Love baby. look at them, look at the main blog's pfp

thats Love baby :-( and look!! IGNORETHAT ONE OF THEM IS WRONG, BUT THEY HAVE RINGS!! YES!

THEYGET MARRIED LATER CANONICALLY. AND ACTUSLLY FACTUAL. I CAN SPOIL THIS CAUSE WE ALM SAW THIS COMING. TBH. I HATEHTNEM.

anyway um. Bye. Sorry.

[atorchzagreusandtris]

It's always so interesting to me to see the fandoms I'm hyperfixating on and compare the fandoms with ocs vs the fandoms with no ocs (that I've made).

Like Amnesia for example, the fandom I have 40+ OCs in and have been in for over 10 years now. I spent a year of that time focused on just the characters that I had to work with before eventually being like "MM, yeah, no I need more spice." And made Derpy (I'm so sorry your name has aged so poorly my guy), Phantom, and Linard. 2/3 of those OCs were made to build off of pre-existing characters. (Derpy to build off of Piggeh and his development, and Phantom to build off of Skully + Stephano's (Yes both, it gets complicated if I say why). Linard post 2015 kind of accidentally became that with Torchy because when I first made Linard, they weren't brothers.)

And even then, I still focused a lot on those connecting characters (Stephano, Piggeh (who got abandoned and sidelined for Skully and Torchy whoops), Skully, Torchy, and Teddeh were characters I focused heavily on partially DUE to said connections). And then I finally realized after working on Jordyn and trying to flesh out the Barrel Army which I had completely entirely neglected minus Derpy, Axel, and Iris (+ Riku and his kids) pre2018, I was neglecting the main characters again. So I went back to them (they still weren't my main focus rip </3) and began working again on characters I hadn't given much development to.

Like god damn I hated Jennifer so much from 2013 to 2021ish because I couldn't find a way to make myself like her or write her character in a way that didn't make me hate her. WHICH IS WEIRD CONSIDERING THE PARALELL OF SHITTY THINGS HER AND TORCHY DID, BUT MAN DID I LOVE TORCHY BECAUSE HE WAS MENTALLY OFF HIS ROCKER (and so was I) So yknow what I did? I gave her a lesbian arc. She's not into men! She was confused and projecting! She likes WOMEN DAMMIT! Her and Pipe are girlfriends now and I adore her! She cut her hair! She stopped wearing skirts and traded them for overalls! She uses brass knuckles to punch dicks in their jaw! AS SHE SHOULD!

Then compare to the two other main fandoms I'm in - Ace Attorney and Ninjago - of which I have ZERO OCs for. I don't even count the fanseason villain (Ninjago resdemption au, somewhere between season 7 and 8) as an OC because I haven't fucking done any work on him yet. I just know what his main motive is and how it plays into the preexisting character's lives. Literally with both Ace Attorney and Ninjago I'm more focused on the preexisting characters and their relationships WITH EACH OTHER.

Like I want to explore the parallels between Kai and Morro, I want to explore Lloyd's trauma, I want to explore Kai and Nya and Lloyd's relationship with each other, I want Kai to be mad Lloyd was forced to grow up so fast. I want him to be mad he had to be a parent to Nya. I want him to fuck Acronix's and Krux's shit up. I want ZANE to explore VENGENACE on VEX "Tris he's not vengeful!" I WANT ZANE TO MAKE VEX BITE THE CURB IN 4K!!! HE'S AN ICE NINJA FOR A REASON AND I FEEL LIKE MAKING ZANE MAD EVERY NOW AND THEN WOULD GIVE HIM MUCH MORE NEEDED DEPTH TO HIS CHARACTER! we have firey temper with Kai but we need some cold and calculated (AND JUSTIFIED) anger for Zane because THAT WOULD BE TERRIFYING!

And with Ace Attorney it's the same! I want so badly to explore certain characters relationships and parallels with each other because OOOOOUGH... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

My partner told me in early winter (we weren't dating then) when I had just fallen deep into my Morro hyperfixation/kin that we should make Ninjago ocs together and I could feel every part of me protest because I don't need ocs for certain fandoms. If the characters have the depth they need, sometimes it's better to just explore them instead of making new ocs. Like fuck with Sora and Arin, I definitely don't feel like we need any more (main) Ninjago characters. So I don't need to be making any. Honestly, some of my beef with DR is the oversaturation of new characters we've gotten instead of exploring some old relationships and old character dynamics (Which I know we will be getting more of come august).

Anyways TLDR: Sometimes fandoms don't need ocs (from me), sometimes the characters just need to be explored in more meaningful ways. Other times I spend 10 years hyperfixating on something and make 40+ OCs.

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Anything You Can Do - Cross The Line Part 4

Anything you can be, I can be greater

Sooner or later I'm greater than you

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“Do it again, freshie. This time, at least try to keep your legs straight.” It’s hard to complain about free tutoring from one of the best dancers in the company, but it becomes much easier when your teacher is Jordan Li. Nothing was ever good enough, and every correction was peppered with insults. But she could never bring herself to refuse their help. Not when the results of the auditions were about to come out. She performed the dance again, refraining from rolling her eyes. “And try to keep the frustration off of your face. You look constipated.” 

“It’d be easier if you didn’t insist on being an ass at every opportunity.”

“Again, freshie.”

And so she does it again. And again. And again. Until every muscle aches and it feels like the steps are blurring together into a blob of french nonsense. She stops, breathing heavily. She takes a swig from her water bottle. 

“Jesus, this is harder than when I was actually working with a coach.”

“You must’ve had a really shitty coach.” Jordan says simply, watching her as she pants. “Had enough?”

“For now, unless you want me fainting in the studio.” She says, chuckling as she unties her pointe shoes. “God, you’re lucky, you don’t have to deal with these bitches. If you could dance pointe, you might actually be the best dancer in this whole school.” She says absently. But she hears Jordan suck a breath through their teeth, and it's clear she’s hit some kind of nerve. 

“I don’t need cups on my feet to be the best dancer in this fucking school.” They snap, and leave faster than she even thought possible. Whoops. She finishes gathering her things, trying to figure out when the banter became... not banter. 

Ella shakes her head, and makes her way home. Jordan Li is an enigma in a leather jacket, and a distraction from her goals.

The next morning, the callback list was emailed to everyone who auditioned. There were two pairings competing for Romeo and Juliet: Luke and Cate, and Jordan and ... her?

Oh shit. 

Going into rehearsal, she kept her head down. She knew that everyone would be looking at her, talking about her. Not that she isn’t used to that, but now, its because the freshman got called back for the lead. And she was dancing with Jordan Li, the junior who kept getting snubbed for the lead. She begins stretching, feeling her thighs complain from the practice last night. Today is going to be a long day.

Jordan’s POV

Jordan knew that they needed to change partners if they wanted this part. First, because she’s the freshman. The freshman who is constantly on their mind, and constantly fucking shit up. Second, because she’s naive. Talking back to them, taunting them with her pointe shoes like she’s never thought about another person’s feelings before in her life. She’s just like every other snobby girl here - convinced that they are God’s gift to dance and that everyone else exists only to lift them up on stage. At least they’d danced with some of the other girls before. But Ella was just so green, so ... raw. And not to mention, every time they saw her dance, especially alone in the rehearsal room, they couldn’t help but stare. Each movement born from the music and her body working with the music to create new art. 

And yes, they were jealous. Jealous because she was right - she was the first dancer at this godforsaken company that was actually on their level. That actually lived and breathed dance. She was a dancer that .... 

No. Jordan shakes their head violently, expelling the thought from their head. They need to focus on themself, and getting that role. And they could not do that with a distraction like Ella Jackson. 

After class, when Ella did her usual duck-and-run routine (probably to go waste Daddy’s money at some stupid boutique or whatever), they went up to Lynne to try to convince her to change partners.

“Look, I know you know what you’re doing, but you have to understand, I need a more experienced dancer to shine. I’m not here to babysit, I’m here to excel.” They said hurriedly. 

“I paired you with Miss Jackson for a reason. And it was not, as you put it, to babysit. Don’t doubt my judgment, Li. I’ve told you this many times.”

They sighed, and went to say something else, but she cut them off with a wave of her hand. 

“I have other things to do than explain myself to you. Now shoo, you have practicing to do. This is not an easy Pas De Deux, as I’m sure you know.”

“Yes, madame. Good night.” She nods at them, and walks off to her office. They run their hands through their hair, frustrated. Then, begrudgingly, they head to the rehearsal room. 

When Ella arrives, they’re already snapping their third piece of cinnamon gum. The music queued on the stereo, and they’re focused on the script. Of course they hear her come in, but they don’t acknowledge her.

She clears her throat. “Hello? Earth to Li.”

“Yes, I see you. Why aren’t you warming up?” They say coldly. She rolls her eyes, and they bite back their irritation. Couldn’t she see that they were doing her a favor? They could always be meaner. She begins to warm up, and Jordan keeps reading through the choreo, trying to locate parts of the dance that would allow them to keep their distance. There were none. This dance is pure romance, and a few of the lifts require very precise positioning of their hands.

This is going to be interesting.

Ella’s POV

She doesn’t know if it was her comments last time, the fact that they were paired together, or just a general dislike, but Jordan was especially irritable during their first callback rehearsal. They spent the whole time watching her like a hawk, not dancing at all, as if nothing had changed. Snapping that fucking gum, having her repeat the routine over and over and over again with very little information on how she should be dancing. By the end of the night, she was ready to strangle them. 

“Again, freshie.” She clenched her jaw so tight it hurt her teeth. “And get that look off of your face.” She narrowed her eyes, and considered storming out. But she took a deep breath, and settled into position. Jordan chuckled, and started the music. She did the routine one more time, keeping her mind focused on the music alone, and when she was done, she was actually almost proud. She sat down to take her shoes off, and Jordan cleared their throat. “You’re not done here.”

“Yes, actually, I am.” Ella says simply, massaging her feet. “There’s only so much verbal abuse I can take at a time.” Jordan laughed once, humorlessly. 

“Whatever you say, freshie. I’m not complaining.” She finished packing up her stuff.

“Oh, Jordan? Um, I’m sorry. For yesterday. That was a low blow.” She says it quickly, and leaves the room before they can give her a clever retort, or ask her to explain further.

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au by @poppy-metal

edits by @barbieprincesshilton

[astrologista]

i hate to say it but all bruce does these days is whineeeee. which i feel like is antithetical to how i understand him as a character. like yes, he broods and he does obsess, but he doesn’t really whine unless some of the time if only alfred is there to witness it lol.

like, fr. i haven’t really been keeping up with comics, so maybe i’m off base with some of this, but here’s what it looks like from the outside

bruce’s relationship with dick is under-served or just basically ignored, when they do bring it out, it’s only for very quick angst fuel then right back to business like they don’t know each other at all

bruce accepting jason back into the family was rushed and handled by sub-par writing which didn’t support the emotional gravitas that said reunification should have involved. i’ve seen a lot of fics that did it way better than what they did. it feels shoe-horned. also, why is bruce tacitly rubber-stamping jason as batman-affiliated when he’s still using GUNS? like WHAT. how does that make any sense. do bruce’s emotional boundaries matter at all? does everything have to be jason’s way or the highway? bruce is notoriously stubborn. much as he loves jason, i can’t see him letting that slide IF this were to work. DON’T SKIP OVER THE IMPORTANT CHARACTER WORK. like, set up the foundations and then build on top of that. don’t just jump to the payoff and try to walk things back as you go! it’s lazy and shows where editorial mandate stymied good storytelling. and there are way more issues with it that i have than just that. of course i love to see bruce and jason caring about each other and getting along as much as the next fan but the way they chose to go about it raises SO many questions

tim who?

no tim has been flanderized so fucking bad. actually he’s been transformed more into the fandom-lite version of himself, which i do kind of hate. oh yeah, he’s with bernard now. WHOOP TEE DOO! the fans have been clamoring for that pairing for years i’m sure.

there have been an assortment of good-to-middling damian comics since the 2010s as at least some writers seem vaguely interested in that dynamic with bruce but for every 2 mildly tolerable issues they drop one that’s got fucking jack shit bonkers writing in it and relies on only the most tired of “U LIED TO ME” tropes. nothing will compare to the tomasi 2011 batman and robin run and that was like the single decent output of the new 52 and the best thing dc has released in years. i’m right

among the newer characters they’ve released, it’s sad that they never really seem to... stick? PLEASE INVEST IN SOMEONE. more duke! more harper! more LITERALLY ANYONE!

bring the fun back to comics. where’s the storytelling. decide whether you want to create a new shitty joker and/or riddler iteration, or a new army of jokers and/or riddlers and/or scarecrows. or just create a new poo poo shitty villain of the week who will age like milk. why not have one based on social media. that’s a new one that i’m sure no one will ever see coming.

STOP SOFT REBOOTING EVERY ISSUE. we know, you’re going to start the next new groundbreaking run, take everything back to basics so nobody is confused, bring on the new readers with this cool new jumping on point, simple just batman alfred and the joker with juuuust enough of a new “modern” twist to it to differentiate it from the thousands of other times you did this. great job dc. doing great. when you’re done with that let’s do another mass cataclysm event across 20 books. im sure people will want to collect all those variant covers.

and i love how there are SO many fics that do it so, so, so much better. jesus fuck. and fic writers aren’t even being PAID! we’re not even being PAID!!

so, yeah, i’m kind of done with comics for time being. i’ve been dabbling in anime and games again, getting back to roots, but so far, it’s mainly been independent web content free of advertisers, executives, editorial and other bullshit that’s caught my fancy lately. the artistic freedom is really needed to tell a good story now. the multiverse / soft reboot / re-configure the universe every year bullshit that marvel popularized has infiltrated, like, everything, as well as the netflix model of “let’s cancel immediately after season 1”. there is no buildup. there is no excitement. there is no story. mba’s and boardrooms do not understand “story”. they don’t know what creativity is. they know what numbers, profits, engagement look like, and they are optimizing for that curve. i do not know why they are shocked when that curve sinks lower and lower every year. i just simply do not understand.

im so mad. kevin conroy’s dead and we’ll never get something like b:tas ever again. media has been my life since i was a baby. so i have to find some kind of stories to try to enjoy even if i have to eke it out in the margins of society lol

[notnatawree]

drafting, unknown date late 2022: 74

Im a compulsive social media checker. It’s how I find out too much information. It’s how I’ve gotten so good at making inferences. It’s toxic as fuck.

I’m punishing myself by making myself do 10 push-ups each time I look at any of your accounts. Which, are essentially non-existent. But your lack of social media presence leaves me three things: messenger active status, your Spotify, and your Venmo.

You have 73 followers on Spotify right now. God, I’m literally Joe from You. The day it becomes 74, the day I see that one singular extra follower, I know will be a day that’ll make my heart drop, my stomach hurt, and send me spiraling. Luckily, you’re a clueless rat, so I know for a fact you didn’t see that my followers went from 8 to 9 the very night we broke up. Whoops.

I have to prepare myself for what I’ll feel. Moving on is hard, I do it, don’t get me wrong. We will break up and I’ll check your social media, but you’ll never hear from me again. We won’t be friends, acquaintances, or anything in between. I like it this way. 

But I know that new Spotify followers are almost always going to be a romantic interest. It’s just cold hard facts of life. When J #2 started acting weird to me, I saw a new Spotify follower appear and knew it was over. And when, 5 months later, she was in your Facebook Cover photo outside of your absolutely disgustingly stunning coastal Northern California mansion, I just knew it was true. 

It makes me sick a bit, but what can I do. 

For the first time in any breakup, kinda, I’ve sorta sought to get even. Even if that means getting even in ways that aren’t visible to them. I signed up for dating apps the night we broke up, even conversed with men. I planned dates the week after. And a week after that, fucked one of them. Who I’m still seeing, by the way. Who has the job you wanted, but couldn’t get. I want to take a selfie with him, and put it on a Spotify playlist so you’d inevitably see at some point, and see that I moved on with lightning speed, making you feel like you were insignificant, even erased from my life. I want to never speak to you again; I want you to feel like I wanted this. I want you to feel like I didn’t care about you, I want to gaslight you into thinking none of it happened. I want to display how my life is going fabulously, in hopes that yours is quite shitty. I want to make you feel like shit in the most cunning, indirect, pathological ways. 

But, I won’t. And I’m fucked up for thinking that way. I guess I feel this way because I care. And why do I want to hurt the people that I genuinely care about? Lord fucking knows. 

[glow-stars-on-the-ceiling]

[justreadertings]

Coffee Shop Rules- Part 2

Ok I’m back! This is definitly going to be longer than one part lol. I’m already getting attached to them, whoops. Anyway, I’m excited for you all to read this, and I’m making a slightttt change to the original, only because I hadn’t planned for this to be multiple parts. Don’t worry, it’s only about Lysandra dating Aedion, which I’m erasing lol. (for now). In terms of Aedion, we have no Aedion.

anyway. Have fun with this chapter, and I hope to get more to you soon before my week in New York where I will be MIA fr. Ok I’ll stop rambling. All my love- Magee

Masterlist

3000 Words

TW: Cursing, mentions of domestic violence

Coffee Shop Rules

Rowan was in a shitty mood. He knew that, and yet, he turned into Fenrys and Connell’s driveway. He was only going to this party because he knew they were all going to be loose in the world come two months, and Aelin and his mother had teamed up to drove on and on about “savoring time together”. It had given him enough heartache at the thought of leaving his poor mother alone when he left for college, adding his friends to the mix was too much. 

So he was going to this stupid party, bringing stupid beer. Rowan ran his hands over his face, tired. It had been a rough few days.

His father had died when he was three. He didn’t even remember him that much. But his parents had been maddeningly in love- so much so that his mother never even wanted to get back out there, even fifteen years after the fact. This all boiled down to his father’s anniversary being a rough day for his family. He’d bought his mom flowers, they’d planned to bake, he planned to pretend it didn’t bother him that much. Same as every year.

But when he and his mom were going to leave for the cemetery, he’d gotten a call from Aelin. She’d known what day it was. She wouldn’t have called if something hadn’t happened. And an oily feeling had swarmed in his gut. 

As soon as he picked up, all he’d heard was breathing. Shallow, watery breathing. He had said her name, probably a couple of times, but in retrospect, it was all very blurry. She hadn’t responded at first, just more of that shallow breathing. His heart had nearly fucking caved in on itself before she finally answered. His mother’s sad, tired eyes had gone wide, waiting both for his attention and to know what was going on.

But Aelin had said, “I should’ve called. I’m sorry.” Her voice was muffled. She wasn’t talking quite right. 

“What’s wrong?” He’d asked.

It took a long time before she said, “My nose. I think it’s broken.”

So instead of the cemetery, putting flowers on his father’s grave, he and his mother had spent the second part of their afternoon in the emergency room, where they set Aelin’s nose right. She had insisted that he go, that she’d done enough damage by ruining their day. 

His mother, with her perfect, caring heart, only waved it off. Rowan wasn’t sure if his mother believed Aelin when she’d said she’d tripped. His mother had only asked her if her guardians were home, and Aelin had said he was out- it was all Sage Whitethorn needed before telling him to make for the emergency room, that they’d take her themselves.

Rowan knew that Aelin was lying, knew that he couldn’t tell, but still felt worthless. He couldn’t be with his mother on her hardest day, couldn’t help Aelin, because if they reported Arobynn she’d be moved across the state, again, far away from him.

Three months. Three months until she was eighteen. And then it was over. 

Now, Rowan rested his head against the steering wheel of his old red truck. He was so tired of it. Tired of the excuses, tired of not being able to help. Tired of working so that one day, he and Aelin could get that apartment they’d always talked about. Tired of the things he’d started thinking about when he thought of his best friend. His brain was too full. 

A loud bang on his side door had him startling, and he glanced out of it to see Lorcan. He was staring at him like he was crazy. Rowan shut off the engine, and popped his door open.

“What?” Rowan said at his friend’s expression.

Lorcan, with his dark features and deep voice, was the epitome of gruff when he asked, “what’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Rowan answered honestly. 

Lorcan had taken the beer right out of his hands as they made their way towards the door. Rowan snorted as they approached the farmhouse, deep in the bellies of their farmland town. Music was already drifting from the open windows. 

“Thursday?” Lorcan inquired. He was a man of few words. It made him a shit therapist, but a good listener. 

Rowan shrugged. “Yeah, kinda. It’s complicated.” Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Lorcan, knowing the day, just nodded, not bringing it up again. He needed the balance between Aelin- who he would spill his guts to even if it left him feeling deflated… and Lorcan, who could just get it, and nod.

“Party people!” Shouted their blonde host from the kitchen. Rowan and Lorcan shared a look. They enjoyed their alcohol, and they enjoyed good music- but they were probably the least “party” of all the people in this house. Which seemed to be literally every single one of their friends.

Manon and Dorian were already sharing DNA on the couch, Manon waving a hand to them without even looking, too caught up on Dorian’s lap.

Lorcan made a face, even though they were all used to their antics, though he and Elide weren’t much better. Rowan figured the face was probably due to the weird history between Lorcan’s girlfriend and Manon. Aelin had sworn him to secrecy when she’d told him that Manon and Elide were a thing their freshman year and Manon’s junior. Manon and Lorcan being the same age had always made Rowan feel strange, though, and it was all really none of his business.

He liked to call Aelin a busybody, but she only called herself a “journalist”. Rowan had laughed, even if he flicked her after, saying that writing everything down in her diary didn’t qualify her as a “journalist”. 

Rowan waved to Chaol, Yrene, and Sartaq by the backdoor. He was glad that Chaol had fallen completely head over heels for Yrene after he and Aelin’s break-up. So much so that it had resulted in an accidental teenage pregnancy… but they were happy. Where their baby was on this random Saturday night, he had no idea- Rowan stopped himself. It wasn’t really his problem. Aelin was infecting his mind. Rowan had no space in his brain for other people’s drama. Where was Aelin?

He spotted Lysandra out by the firepit with her boyfriend- or was it ex-boyfriend this week?- who looked very… close. Rowan chose the kitchen instead, still looking.

Elide was sitting up on the counter of the white house, her heels digging into the old, wooden counters as she talked to Fenrys. At that height, she was level with her boyfriend for probably the first time in their relationship. She gave him a chaste kiss, then moved to lean her elbow on his shoulder. 

Lorcan handed her one of Rowan’s beers, but Rowan’s hand was suddenly filled with a sugary, pink concoction. He lifted a brow at Fenrys, who was already padding around the giant kitchen, beginning to make another one. 

“What the hell is this?”

Fenrys shrugged. “It’s Aelin’s,” he said, before he turned around. His blonde brows furrowed. “Where is your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Rowan responded, voice dark. He knew Fenrys was just messing with him, but he was still a dumbass. Fenrys just shrugged, and it made Rowan want to strangle him. He was always so flippant with his words. Rowan frowned down at the drink. “Why did you give this to me?”

Suddenly, the drink was pulled from his hands. “Because he’d know I’d need it.”

Rowan spun to where Aelin stood, looking perfect, as always. She wore a short golden sundress that made her look absolutely stunning. Rowan was actually starting to get uncomfortable with how good he thought she looked. Thankfully, Fenrys drew him out of his thoughts with a laugh.

“Gods, Ace, what’d you do to your face?” Elide reached over and punched his shoulder, her dark eyes assessing.

Rowan’s body tensed, but Aelin’s felt completely liquid as she leaned slightly into his side, already sipping on her fruity drink. “Clumsy me. As always.”

He knew everyone could see the little angry line across the bridge of her nose, but both Lorcan and Fenrys seemed to accept her answer. Elide’s eyes were still cut into little slits, watching Aelin closely. Rowan hated that Aelin refused to tell their closest friends, but he knew that she didn’t want to risk one of them getting emotional and reporting Arobynn or something. 

Honestly, with that logic, he was surprised she ever told him- Rowan could barely wake up without the thought crossing his mind anymore. But Aelin wanted her friends- her family. She hadn’t had a family since she was a very little girl, and she needed their support for the many hours that she wasn’t at that house.

But her lie had him feeling protective, and he slipped his arm around her. Aelin offered him her drink but he just squinted at it. “Is that a joke?”

She poked his cheek. “Party-pooper.”

Rowan batted her hand away, and they fake fought with their hands before Fenrys’ snort had him pausing.

“What?” Rowan asked.

The blonde looked between them. “Nothing.” Rowan only glared at his long time friend. 

“How’s work?” Elide offered. She was too perceptive for her own good, and Rowan didn’t want to admit that he knew she was saving him. 

“Same old same old,” Aelin drawed. “Ugh, except for this absolute douche the other day. Do you remember that?”

Did he remember it? Rowan hadn’t stopped replaying that whole afternoon in the week since it had happened. Aelin hadn’t mentioned anything weird after, hadn’t acted any different, all through their shift and when he dropped her off home. Again- their boundaries were always a little shifty, but they’d only ever kissed for long, long goodbyes- like when he went to camp last fall break and was gone for two whole weeks. And yeah, it was all just those tiny pecks, more for closeness than anything but… it was just kinda out of nowhere. Or at least he thought so. Maybe he’d thought about it so much that his memory was now warped. 

“Ro?”

When he blinked, he realized Lorcan, Elide, Fenrys, Aelin and… Nesryn and Nehemia were all staring at him. He hadn’t even seen the girls come in. How long had he been zoning out?

“What?” 

Aelin was giving him a weird look, but pasted on that signature smile for their friends. “I asked you if you remember that guy from the other day?”

Rowan shook himself out of his thoughts, and casually said, “How could I forget? You made a your mom joke to him.”

Aelin, at that, cracked what he knew was a real smile. She laughed, her head tilting back, and he just watched her. That was normal, right? 

“No!” Elide laughed with her.

“I totally did!” Aelin then went into the whole story, but Rowan was transfixed with watching her talk. He didn’t know how she did it, how she could laugh and smile with their friends after experiencing what she did every day. When something happened to him, he shut down. Radio silence. Aelin would never ask him to explain himself, though. She would just crawl on the couch and tuck her arms around his waist, holding him until he spoke.

Rowan wondered if he was ever able to give her a fraction of the comfort she gave him. He glanced at her, so lively as she told her story, watching for any glimpse of pain. Rowan didn’t know how she hid it so well.

-

Aelin was buzzed. She knew she was buzzed. But she couldn’t help it- it had been a shit week, shit last two days, and she needed to forget. She was squinting as Chaol was talking about his son, and she found herself without a filter, just responding with, “it’s so fucking weird.”

He’d given her that look, the one where he was trying really hard not to be judgy, but was pretty much failing. He asked, “what’s weird?”

“You have a kid!” She yelled back, before placing her chin back in her hand. “You’re like… a person. Like a real life human.”

Chaol actually laughed at that, and he told her himself that she was drunk. She’d just smiled, feeling dreamy. Her mind was racing, bouncing between the strangeness of her longtime friend and ex having a real, human baby, and the niggling idea that she should be somewhere else. She felt like that a lot, though. Like even when she was happy, she should be spending her time better, doing something more worthy of her time.

She was also contemplating if she could use a third (fourth?) of these pink drinks. Rowan had gone in to grab her water a few minutes ago, claiming that if her head was tilting at that far of an angle, she could probably use some sobering up.

Chaol was talking to Dorian then, who’d finally taken a break from Manon. Aelin was fairly certain the blonde was chatting up Elide, which she found weird. Aelin’s sober mind knew that it was hypocritical, as she was talking to Chaol, but that was different. She didn’t know why, but it just… was.

“What’s with the frown, Ace?” Lysandra said, coming to sit on the edge of her lawnchair. The fire was blazing, and Aelin’s fuzzy vision swam in it. When Aelin turned to look at her, Lysandra gasped and grabbed her chin. “Gods, how’d you get that?”

Aelin frowned and turned her head out of Lysandra’s hand. “Lemme go,” she pouted.

“Uh oh,” Chaol smiled. “It’s someone’s bedtime.”

“Is not,” Aelin said, crossing her arms.

Dorian just laughed, nudging Chaol. “She’s getting defensive, too. Where’s Rowan? He can go and tuck her in.”

“It’s not my bedtime!” She yelled, even though she knew she was acting like a toddler. Gods, maybe she was drunker than she thought. It occurred to her that that probably wasn’t a great thing. She had work in the morning

“Why are you sad, Ace?” Lysandra asked, speaking low. Aelin leaned into her touch, no better than a housecat. She couldn’t help it, though. She needed a motherly touch. Maybe she’d call out for Yrene.

“Rowan won’t tuck me in,” she said. “At least not at my house.” her words were muffled in Lysandra’s lap. 

Her friend laughed, running her fingers through her cropped hair. They were all saying something, probably talking about her, but she was too tired to argue. She only heard Lysandra say, close to her ear, “are you sure you’re saying everything you mean to?”

She didn’t answer, didn’t know how long she stayed draped over Lysandra’s lap, near-asleep.

“Bedtime?”

She heard Rowan’s voice, deep and gruff. She smiled into Lysandra’s warm, soft legs. Aelin reminded herself to steal her friend’s moisturizer. 

“I’m not tired,” she muffled. 

Lysandra was messing with Aelin’s hair, stroking and braiding. Rowan was speaking lowly to her friend, but it was all so soothing until- 

“Aelin!” 

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain between her neck and her head. And then everything moved so fast, it felt like people were crowding, and she was starting to sit up, even though her drink had her feeling very dizzy. Her vision swarmed, but she felt Rowan’s warm hand on her shoulder.

Lysandra asked, “What happened to you, Ace?”

Fuck. Aelin didn’t think anyone would be digging around her skull tonight. Fuck fuck fuck. She felt literally blurry, but she forced herself to stand. Yeah, she was a lot drunker than she thought. Rowan was holding her to him, and she hated that she was swaying. Hated that she couldn’t depend on herself, hated that he wasn’t demanding to know what happened either. He was always so quiet, so patient. It used to bug her, and now, she was just envious.

“Gods, should you even be drinking with a mark like that?” 

“Should I get Yrene?”

Aelin held out her hands, acting far more sober than she was. “Look, I am fine.” All of her friends, standing around the fire, were looking very doubtful. “You do not need to get our resident nurse. Ok?”

Dorian frowned at her, and she blinked over and over again to actually make him out. “So how’d you get that bump on your head?”

Aelin fought the urge to reach for it, tracing the bulging hurt there. “I fell, ok? I was cleaning and I was… indulging, and I fell. Hit my head on my dresser.” That wasn’t a total lie. Her head did hit her dresser…

“And your nose?” Chaol asked. He’d always been all careful and protective, but now that he was a father, gods he was becoming insufferable with it.

“I’m fine. That one was a sober accident,” she joked. Aelin ignored the way Rowan held her tighter to him. 

Suddenly, the sound of the sliding glass door interrupted their silence. Fenrys’ voice rained out, loud, joking, “Damn, did I just walk into an intervention?”

All of her friends turned and glared at him. She turned, feeling a bit like she was in slow motion, to glare at him herself. She didn’t like that they were about two more incidents away from this party moving in that direction. Aelin cursed herself for not choosing another lie. 

Fenrys held up his hands at their expressions, then turned on his heel and went back inside. 

They were all looking at her again, but she only turned her head up to Rowan. “Can you take me home?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and she couldn’t exactly decipher the look in his eyes. But he nodded, once. She didn’t like how stony his demeanor was, so she circled in his arms, reaching up to hold his face. His green eyes were thoughtful and sad. 

She hoped he understood that she was sorry she didn’t tell him, that it was just getting… embarrassing. She didn’t want to start every shift with an update of what new part of her body was aching. 

Rowan stared at her a moment more, before saying, “let’s go.”

She was never more grateful for the safety she found in him- in his truck and his driving- than she did then, when she could just close her eyes against the seat, ignore the dull pain from where her head had been tossed against her dresser, and drift off to sleep. 

Ok there it is. Hope you don’t kill me. more churning in my brain, so hopefully more to come!

Taglist: 

@leiawritesstories​

@tomtenadia​

@fireheart-violet​

@backtobl4ck​

@morganofthewildfire​

@rowaelinismyotp​

@aelinchocolatelover​

@thegreyj​

@foughtconquered​

@swankii-art-teacher​

@booklover242​

@stardelia​

@numbers-colors-fashion​

@bookcide​

@viajandosinalas​

[mindninjax]

Sleep on the Floor (1)

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader (Quirkless Au)

Rating: Explicit (18+ minors do not interact)

Warnings: none yet idk

Word Count: 2.9K

a/n: I don't really know what this is yet. Idk what it will become. I know there will be more I just don't know how or when. For once, I'm just writing and posting to get feelings out. I'm not gonna stress about a posting schedule or what people might expect of me. I'm just gonna write it and post. It's a vent piece, it's a coping piece, it's a piece that deals with grief because it's what I'm dealing with right now. And this site may be a fucking hell hole with shitty fucking people who hide their nasty little comments behind anonymous messages, but it's also somewhere I can go to scream about whatever I want and either be ignored or heard whenever I see fit.

My point is...if you stick with this, great you're amazing and truly I appreciate and love you dearly,. You'll get a peek inside of my head and my heart and I hope at some point it soothes you or comforts you or makes you feel better about yourself idk. If you don't stick with it, I of course won't hold it against you.

So yeah. Here we go...

Masterlist

Whiskey is medicine for the soul.

That’s the saying, right? Doesn’t matter, Katsuki doesn’t give a fuck. He motions to the bartender for another dose, the fifth? maybe sixth of the night. Who’s counting? Certainly not him.

“Oi, another one!” he shouts down the bar top.

The bartender , Shinso, gives him a look that says, “Come on buddy you look like you’re trying to kill yourself” , but he’s personally too greedy not to give his best customer for the past month and a half another drink. Besides, Katsuki’s a good tipper and Shinso would much rather deal with a drunk Katsuki than the glaring angry pathetic Katsuki that sits in front of him now.

Katsuki’s eyes are blood red, irises and all as he puts the tumbler to his lips and gulps down his sixth drink — yes he’s sure it’s the sixth one now—and slams the glass back on the bar top. His fingernails are dirty as he grasps the glass. The stubble on his chin is scraggly but he doesn’t bother shaving it. Dark circles form mini rings under his eyes, like he’s forgotten to take the make up from a week ago off. His shirt is stained, the flannel he wears over it buttoned incorrectly.

There’s a party of people in the corner loudly whooping and hollering about a game of pool they’re playing. There’s some sad ass country song playing on the jukebox. The low yellow lights coming from the antler chandeliers scattered across the ceiling bathes the entire room in a depressing cloud of hazy citrine funk. It smells of beer and grilled food, a scent that Katsuki never gets used to despite making this place his new home.

The bar is crowded for a Wednesday night. It’s a rare sight, usually Katsuki is here by himself, only a few regular patrons popping in and out. He never speaks to anyone, just stumbles in at 10am and drinks until the bar closes at 2am. And then it’s back to his car to sleep and do it all over again. He’s lucky Shinso lets him use the shower in the back of the bar, and with all the clothes Katsuki could pack in a huge bag as quickly as possible now sitting in his car, he has all he needs right here with him.

So why would he leave?

“What can I get for you, Darlin?”

Katsuki looks over to see Shinso sporting that easy going smirk he flashes to pretty girls who come sit at the bar and order fruity dumb ass drinks. Katsuki rolls his eyes as Shinso raises an eyebrow and sizes up the woman in front of him. He doesn’t pay attention, tries to tune out the stupid deep flirty voice Shinso puts on. He almost decides to get up and leave before he hears the woman’s reply.

“Yeah, do you have apple juice?”

What the fuck? Apple juice? Who the fuck goes to a bar in the middle of fucking nowhere and asks for apple juice? Katsuki now takes the time to glance over at the strange woman and he sees it’s you.

“Uh…yeah we have apple juice. Did you want that mixed with vodka or?” Shinso asks in confusion.

Both he and Katsuki are equally shocked when you reply. “Nope, just the juice. Thanks so much!” You chirp happily.

Katsuki studies you closely and you look just as strange as your behavior. You’re wearing a black fitted dress, with white puffy sleeves and a white collar, thin stockings and black heels. Your legs are crossed over one another on the stool and they swing idly as your phone vibrates loudly on the bar counter next to you.

You don’t pick it up, don’t even silence it, just let it continue buzzing on the countertop and Katsuki doesn’t know why but it pisses him off. The buzzing is intense and he can feel the vibrations even though you’re three seats down from him at the huge bar. You watch the people in the corner, humming to the song playing on the jukebox and continue to ignore it.

Finally Katsuki can’t take it and he snaps at you, “You gonna answer your fucking phone or continue to annoy everyone at the bar with the constant buzzing?”

You look at him now and for just a second Katsuki understands why Shinso started flirting. You’re wearing makeup but not too much. It only enhances your best features, your big eyes, long lashes and plump lips. Your makeup is a bit smudged around the eyes, but you still don’t look bad.

In fact, if you weren’t being a fucking pest with your phone and if he weren't a fucking injured loser, Katsuki would try flirting and taking you home for the night. Regardless, he’s annoyed and the alcohol flowing through his veins only inflates the annoyance.

For some reason you don’t respond to him, just stare for a bit, scrutinizing him and his clothes closely before you blink, look down at your phone, pick it up and then press the button to stop the ringing. You don’t say anything to him but you give him a tiny smirk and a quick shrug of your shoulders that says “oops” before he rolls his eyes and turns away from you.

“Here ya go. One apple juice. You sure there isn’t anything I can get you?” Shinso says as he places the glass of amber liquid in front of you and smiles big again. He leans in on the bar and Katsuki takes another gulp of his drink.

“Actually yeah. Whatever that guy is drinking, get him another one, on me,” you say, lowering your voice and pointing discreetly to Katsuki.

He huffs in annoyance and raises his voice to ensure you know he heard you as he finishes his drink. “I don’t want anything from you,” he grumbles.

The stool you're sitting on scrapes against the wooden floor and Katsuki winces at the sound. A similar sound is closer to him now and he can feel the warmth of a body next to him and smell the lingering scent of fresh flowers, coconut and mango, and some weird chemical scent he can't place.

“It’s a peace offering or an apology for the phone,” you say hopping up on the stool next to him. You rest your chin in your hand and peer at him with great interest. It's extremely uncomfortable and Katsuki is two seconds from telling you to fuck off.

“A ‘sorry’ is enough,” he grunts, scooting his stool away from you.

“Well I’m sorry, but you know, it’s rude not to accept the drink,” you say matter of factly.

You're smiling at him and he can't understand why. Everything about his attitude toward you is standoffish. Everything about his body language says "Go the fuck away", and yet you're leaning in closer to him, and looking him directly in the eye when you speak.

He looks away quickly, trying to break the intense eye contact. He's thankful for the refill of whiskey Shinso places in front of him but tries to ignore the wink he gives you as he places it down. Katsuki angrily grabs it and takes a huge gulp. “I ain’t a nice person.”

You scoff, “I don’t believe that.”

Katsuki raises an eyebrow, looks at you from the corner of his eye and spits, “How the fuck would you know?”

He is more than shocked when you answer with a huge fucking grin on your face, as if your words are some kind of compliment and not a huge fucking slap in the face. "Nice people are usually the ones who look as tortured and pathetic as you do right now,” you quip.

He spins around to glare at you now, baring his teeth like a wild angry dog. “Fuck you. You don’t know a goddamn thing about me!”

Katsuki thinks you've got to have a few screws loose when he sees you actually look shocked at his animosity.

“Oh I didn’t mean it as an insult! Just an observation,” you say, putting your hands up in mock surrender.

“Why don’t you fuck off and mind your fucking business?”

You finally turn away from him, facing the many shelves of alcohol. Katsuki can see your fingers drumming against the bar top and right as Shinso is coming over—almost certainly to flirt some more—you turn back towards Katsuki and he huffs in irritation.

“Can I ask you one more thing before I fuck off?” you ask.

He doesn't look at you or grace you with a verbal answer. He just grunts.

“Wanna come with me on a road trip?”

If there were a record playing, here's where you'd hear the record scratch. Katsuki blinks a few times trying to figure out if he actually heard you correctly. “What?”

“Unless you have something else to do?” you say smiling innocently.

“Why the fuck would I wanna—“

“I mean… why not?” you cut in.

“You could be a fucking psycho. Which, the more I talk to you, the more I'm convinced that's what you are,” Katsuki replies, wrinkling his nose as if he smelled something funky.

“And you could drop dead right now from some freak accident. Either way, you die. But would you rather die alone in a shitty bar, drunk, stinky and upset with your life or would you rather take a chance at going on a road trip with a stranger?” you say optimistically.

“Die alone in a shitty bar.” Katsuki replies quickly, without a second thought.

You drop your head and your eyes are sad and dejected. “That's fair, I suppose. Look, I just recently realized all the plans I had for my life, don’t fucking matter. None of it. And you don’t look like a guy with a bunch of life plans, either. I just thought I’d extend the invitation,” you say shrugging as you put your money on the counter, slip off the stool and walk toward the exit.

Katsuki cannot believe he is actually thinking this but, you've got a point. Even for a fucking weirdo. Successful Katsuki would never. But then again, Successful Katsuki wouldn't be in this fucking bar right now. And as much as he hates to admit it, there's a sinking pit in his stomach as he thinks about you walking out the door and leaving forever.

He can't figure out why, he's never met you, has no connection to you whatsoever. But the minute you asked him to go, it ignited something in him, something he'd thought had long been extinguished. So Katsuki really can't believe it when he raises his hand toward the door and says “Wait.”

You turn around. Katsuki downs the last of the drink you bought him, puts the money he owes Shinsou for all the drinks—plus a hefty tip—then gets up and walks—more like staggers—toward where you stand at the exit. He faces you, eyebrows furrowed and breath smelling of whiskey. He notices how small you are compared to him as he towers over you and points a finger into your shoulder.

“You’re driving.”

Katsuki must be drunk. He has to be. That’s the only way he can convince himself of this idiotic plan. That he wouldn’t be stupid enough to get into a car with some unknown woman and drive to who fucking knows where. He’s in the passenger seat, the large bag of clothes from his car sitting in your back seat.

The windows are down and the night air fills the car with the fresh scent of grass and pine as you drive through the winding forest paths. It’s dark, nearly 9pm and Katsuki worries for only a minute that you’re taking him somewhere to kill him.

He reasons with himself that it’s a dumb ass idea. If you were going to target someone, surely it’d be someone who looks rich and is worth killing for some money. To you, he’s a pathetic nobody. But that only leaves more questions, why’d you choose him?

You’re whistling to yourself as you drive, eyes glued to the road and hair now fallen from the tight bun you had it in when you walked into the bar. He stares at you with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed.

What the fuck is your deal? The first warning sign of you being an absolute psychopath should’ve been walking into the bar wearing fancy clothes and ordering a goddamn apple juice. Still, there was something about the way you studied him and the way you vocalized the helplessness he felt. For some reason, he knew you understood and he knew it would be a mistake to let you walk out of that bar without following.

It’s your carefree attitude that really bothers him. The way you drum your finger against the steering wheel, how you bounce back and forth to some tune you’re humming to yourself that he suspects is…Take Me Home, Country Roads? All while sitting across from a complete and total stranger.

He huffs to himself, realizing he doesn’t even know your name and that you never attempted to ask him his.

“So you make a habit of picking up strangers in bars?” he grunts, trying to be nonchalant as he gazes out his window at the dark shadows passing by.

“Pft, I don’t know. Do you make a habit of going with said strangers from the bar?” You retort.

“You gonna be a smart ass the entire trip?”

“Haha I’m contemplating it. Not gonna lie seeing your irritated face does bring me a lot of joy, but I’d also want you to enjoy this trip too so perhaps, I’ll cut down on the smart assness,” You say, smiling wide.

You reach out your hand to him and say your name. He glares at it and then looks up to your eyes glued to the road. “This is the part where you shake my hand and tell me your name,” you say as if you're speaking to a kindergartener.

He narrows his eyes. “Katsuki Bakugo.”

You put a finger to your chin in a thinking motion. “Hmmm too formal. Can I call you Grumpy instead?” you ask in high pitched pleading tone.

“No.”

“Great! It’s settled I’ll call you Grumpy,” you say proudly and Katsuki groans in annoyance before he retorts back.

“Then I’ll call you Airhead,” he says in a mean voice.

“Cute. I like it," you say shrugging nonchalantly.

He rolls his eyes. Nothing gets to you it seems. You must be one of those overly happy types, which means this road trip is going to be unbearable. Katsuki momentarily contemplates asking you to turn around and take him back to the bar. “You’re fucking weird. What’s your deal anyway?”

“I’m running away from my problems. Same old, same old.”

As always, you've caught him off guard, and his previous idea of going back to the bar all but vanishes. "What problems?”

“Grief.”

Katsuki blinks. Suddenly your getup all makes sense and it unfortunately clicks in his mind. You were at a funeral. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Shit sucks.”

“You’re telling me.”

“That explains the…” he motions to the dress you're wearing.

“Yup.”

He studies you a little closer now. The dress is nice, looks pretty expensive and it clings perfectly to you. He's again reminded of how attractive you are and how he's in the car going somewhere with a weird but really attractive woman. “Least it’s a nice dress.”

“Haha thanks. Not just for the compliment.”

“What then?”

“For not saying sorry. Everyone says sorry. Like they did something wrong. I know they’re being nice but…sorry doesn’t bring her back. I’d much rather hear a compliment about the dress,” you say quietly. You're not smiling anymore, just looking out at the road, a far away look in your eye.

Katsuki stays quiet for a few minutes going over your words. The atmosphere in the car has shifted but it’s comforting and the remnants of who he used to be—successful, thriving, strong—are thrust upon him for the first time in the few weeks since he was injured.

“What about you? What are you running from?” you ask quietly.

He grunts, folding his arms over his chest and closing himself off from you. “I ain’t running from shit.”

“Ahh I see. Too soon?” you say smiling.

You wink at him and he turns away to look out the window to hide the rosy blush forming in his cheeks. The tips of his ears feel hot and he hopes his unruly hair is hiding them. “Shut up.” he mumbles.

“I’ll ask again in a few days.” you say, lifting your chin proudly.

He glowers out the window, lips pursed as the moon follows the two of you across the sky.

You sigh and reach behind you to grab an unopen water bottle and toss it into his lap. “You should get some rest and sleep off your drunkenness. It’ll be your turn to drive soon.”

“Where the hell are we even goin'?” Katsuki asks as he unscrews the cap and takes a huge swig of water.

You smile brightly at him and again he has the strangest feeling that everything will be ok no matter what happens. When he looks into your big bright eyes all he sees is adventure and he can’t help but feel comforted by your smile.

“Wherever we want.”

--

Thanks for reading

[schmerzerling]

A saccharine, pointless fix-it fic, set post-15x19. Because you deserve it.

Dean doesn’t even make it down the stairs into the bunker before he’s already praying.

Dear Jack, who art in heaven, hope you’re eating your vegetables and wearing deodorant—being a noncorporeal celestial entity is no excuse not to—and, oh, could you please bring your dad back from black goo mega hell?

It seems a little selfish at this point to pray to Jack—kid just brought back the entire human race, so he could probably use a bit of a breather, but it can’t hurt to add just a little tick to his to-do list. Besides, maybe Dean’s earned being a little selfish. Maybe it’s finally Dean’s opportunity to cash in his “whoops, I killed your mom” favor with his wayward antichrist slash omniscient deity slash son.

He gets to the bottom of the stairs, tosses his bag down on the war room table, starts down the hallway toward his bedroom, and.

Oh. There’s Cas.

“It was the first thing he did,” Cas says, like he heard Dean’s prayer. He’s in the kitchen, looking consideringly between a frying pan and a recipe on his phone. From the smell of it, he could be making French toast, maybe, if French toast were black and hard and dense as a brick. “Well, after resurrecting all life on earth, I suppose.” Then Cas says, wistfully, like a proud father who’s just seen his son off to kindergarten, “I hope he’s having a good first day.”

His nose gets that—wrinkle it gets. Dean’s memorized that wrinkle. He knows that wrinkle, and yeah. That’s definitely his Cas filling his kitchen with toxic French toast smog.

“I got back early,” Cas continues, casual like he didn’t do anything more than dodge out of work at four to miss rush hour, “and I figured you and Sam would be hungry when you got home.”

Dean gapes like a fish, mouth open to gulp in toast fumes. Behind him, he hears Sam clang down the spiral stairs in the war room. When he hits the bottom step and clunks onto the concrete floor, he says, “Hey, what do you bet Chuck’s already knee deep in Naked and Afraid territory—”

He rounds the corner, sees Cas in the kitchen, and smiles like it’s his birthday. Then he looks at Dean briefly, uses two fingers under Dean’s chin to close his hanging jaw with an audible click-pop teeth-jowl combo, and flashes Dean a double thumbs up before he retreats quietly down the hallway.

Because he’s an asshole.

Cas looks up from the mess he’s making of Dean’s favorite pan and the nose wrinkle is still there, right above a sweet, wistful smile. He’s really fucking—cute. But he’s an asshole too. The absolute king of the assholes. Because the last time he saw Cas, saw Cas’s eyes, they were spilling over with tears that Dean put there, that loving Dean put there. They were wide and clear and almost reflective, so that Dean could see himself crying back, and so that Dean could see his own devastated face when he realized that Cas was saying goodbye a-fucking-gain. And the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about all that is that he’s smiling now like he was smiling then, like giving up his life for Dean makes him happy in the same way cooking Dean shitty French toast does.

Cas’s smile fades the longer Dean looks at him and doesn’t say anything, and Dean sees when the skittish uncertainty starts taking him over.

“Dean. We can—I know…” He licks his perpetually chapped lips and huffs a quick, fortifying breath. “I didn’t mean to ‘make it weird.’”

He curls his fingers around air quotes when he says it, and a feeling of nostalgic fondness swells up inside Dean so fast it hurts his chest, bursts up against his throat to produce a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. He’s the same fucking Cas he’s always been, Dean realizes. He hasn’t changed, just like Dean asked him not to all that time ago. So the only explanation for the paralyzing feeling of earnest affection bubbling up his throat like top-shelf sangria vomit is—

That Dean has. That Cas hasn’t changed, but he has cast a new light on everything he’s ever done, and now Dean can plainly see that their whole history is painted over in colorful shades of I love you. Dean knew it before, he thinks. That Castiel loved him. But there’s knowing, abstractly, and then there’s seeing and hearing. There’s believing. There’s recognizing that Cas has a secret smile, just for Dean. There’s internalizing his I love you until it buoys him, until it keeps his head above water long enough to see that maybe that secret smile means exactly what he always hoped it did, because maybe he’s been worth that secret smile all along.

Dean lurches clumsily forward, promptly forgetting the two steps that lead down into the kitchen. He trips over his own feet, straight into the kitchen island, with a disastrous clatter. Every spoon and spatula and pot and pan hanging over the top of the island clatters. He can almost sense Sam listening from his bedroom, can almost hear him laughing about how Dean just went toe to toe with God, but one awkward blink of Cas’s baby blues turns him into an bumbling, lovestruck idiot.

Dean skitters around the island, straight into Cas’s space like Cas is always up in his. He says, “No, no,” desperately like that means anything, like he’s afraid Cas is going to disappear before he can make it clear. He breathes right into Cas’s mouth, sharing air like he can’t stand not to. Cas exhales softly as those fucking eyes flit worriedly over Dean’s face. He says, “Oh, Dean, you’re hurt—”

And Dean plants his lips right on Castiel’s.

It’s not much of a kiss. It’s chaste and subdued against the subtle background chime of settling pots and pans. But Cas brings up both hands to cup Dean’s cheeks, just gently, like he’s afraid of exacerbating wounds but can’t stand to let Dean pull away, either. And when Cas finally does pull back to look into Dean’s unfocussed eyes, the sense of beaming contentment that Castiel positively glows with pours directly into Dean through a long, lingering look.

It settles something tumultuous inside Dean. A quiet leaches down into his bones, nestles up against his heart like a purring kitten. And in the sudden silence of his scattered head, he can actually hear himself when he says, “I—I mean. You too. I do too. Love. You, I mean.” He almost ruins it by giving Cas his patented no-homo back pat, but he restrains himself at the last second. He finger-combs Cas’s fringe back from his wrinkled forehead instead.

He wasn’t expecting to say it, because he doesn’t say it, not even in the pathetic, fragmented way he just managed. And Cas clearly wasn’t expecting it either, because his eyes go wide like they were then and he says, “Oh,” on a gentle exhale. “Oh.”

Dean sees his own lovestruck astonishment, reflected again in Cas’s eyes.

Cas drops his hands from Dean’s face and says, all business, “Well. Good.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Dean clears his throat and steps back. Then he nods down at Castiel’s disaster toast and says, “Can I help you not burn the bunker down?” And Cas nods, slowly and fondly, and laughs because there’s no one to tell him not to. They bump shoulders while they cook and sit on the same side of the dining table while Dean eats and that’s that.

That’s all there is.

[spectral-kitkat]

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

[drxwsyni]

YOU SAID NAOYA?? i’m here, i love shitty men <3

he can hate other women as long as he’s soft for his darling only 🥴

he knows that his baby pleases him so well so he can’t help but throw in some soft praises no matter how many mean words he spits at u. he knows you live for his affection, his attention. but he makes you beg for it because it gives him a big fucking power trip <333 any time he degrades you or praises you he never forgets to add “my” infront of it. it’s drilled into your head that you’re his. even though he never outright says “i love you” he makes up for his lack of words through his possessiveness 😩🤌

this got out of hand whoops-

warnings: dubcon, praise & degradation, hair pulling, light choking, possessiveness, gen. yandere themes

naoya really is not one for heartfelt conversation, worrying about his feelings isn’t something a man should be doing anyways. you’re his at the end of the day - both he and you know this well. yet something clicks, and it just feels right to remind you who you belong to when he’s got you sprawled across the sheets, on your knees with your face buried in the pillows while struggling to take his cock.

“who do you fuckin’ belong to, huh?” when he hears nothing but the soft sounds of muffled whimpers, he grabs you by the hair, yanking your head back.

“answer me.”

a few hiccups leave you, tears wetting your lashes and cascading down your cheeks. “you, naoya. m’yours, ngh—”

he shoves your face back into the plush pillows, your back arching as your fingers dig into the sheets, frantically search for purchase below you.

the sorcerer’s calloused hands pull you back and forth on his cock, white-knuckled grip near bruising. “that’s right...my fuckin’ girl, my pretty little slut.”

you keen as his fingers suddenly press against your needy clit, stomach fluttering as he speaks through gritted teeth.

“ah—you’re close, i can tell.” naoya’s fingers circle your clit, but not firm or quick enough to send you over the edge like you so desperately want to. his hips slow, “beg for it, princess. earn the right to cum on my cock.”

the raw need to have his approval, something now rooted into your very bones had pleas spilling from your spit soaked lips, not a moment after he made the demand. “p-please...naoya, please let me cum, pl—”

your breath hitched, words turning into nonsensical babbling as he slammed into you, the sheer force of it making your body lurch forward on the bed.

 “fuckin’ look at you—my good little whore’s all fucked out.” he rewards you well enough, letting you rut yourself against his hand, fingers repeatedly gliding over your swollen clit.

watching you fall apart so easily, shaking and overwhelmed—it makes his lips quirk up into a smug grin. nobody, not a single fucking person gets you like he does. there’s no one else who could ever make you feel this good, who knows your body like of the back of their hand the way naoya has memorized it.

a sheen of sweat rests atop your skin, muscles convulsing as your breath’s pace becomes more and more uneven. a steady warmth builds, falling over you in waves and growing stronger with each passing.

naoya’s hand leaves your hip, tangling itself back in your hair and pulling you flush against his chest. it drifts to your neck, applying a light pressure that grounds you.

his breath hits the shell of your ear, “that’s it, cum for me.” 

there’s a new lowness in his voice that makes you shiver, his words repeating in your mind until it’s all you can focus on while you cream around his cock. 

“there it is, give it to me—good fuckin’ girl...”

he doesn’t quite stop, even as you come down from your high, breathy whimpers from overstimulation spilling from your lips as he keeps thrusting into your heat while chasing his own release. naoya makes no move to pull out, and you don’t have the will to stop him as he marks your insides, filling you up and letting your body slump against his.

for a moment, everything fades out of existence, and the only tangible thing you can latch onto is the heat of naoya’s skin pressed against yours. he’s all encompassing, the feeling of him all over your body, thoughts muddled yet clear in that no matter what you’re thinking, he’s always at the center of it.

letting you catch your breath, naoya can’t quite help but press a kiss against your bare shoulder. just a few seconds of reprieve, before laying you back down onto the bed so that he can continue to engrave the fact that you’re his until he’s sure you’ll never look at another soul again.

[bump1nthen1ght]

I’m Still Hurting (F!Reader/M!Orc)

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: (Almost) Infidelity

Word Count: 3376 words

Summary: Your boyfriend does something he’d never thought he’d do, and you’re left to try and pick up the pieces.

Request: can I make a request? About an angst story between an m!orc and f!human. I like the idea of like maybe the orc sorta misses being with other orc women or like she can't fulfill his needs and she hears this. I like the idea of almost infidelity

A/N: Surprise bitches! I’m alive! And back with some delicious angst for y’all!! I really loved doing this request, as I don’t often write full on angst. I am also working on a fluffy request  at the moment, if some of you would like some nice comfort after this haha. Hope y’all enjoy!

Honey ❤️: Babe

Honey ❤️: Babe please answer the phone I need to talk to you

Honey ❤️: I know you’re angry, you should be angry, but please talk to me

Honey ❤️: Baby please

“____? Is that my phone?” Brynn yells from the kitchen, already mixing another cocktail for you to down. Her bright red horns peek over the living room divider, bouncing back as she grabs the alcohol from the fridge. Still looking at your bright screen, you don’t even have the energy to respond.

“____?” You throw your phone away as she peaks her head over, giving her a shameful look. Brynn furrows her brow, pulling away from the kitchen island and putting one hand on her hip. “Was that him?” With your eyes darting back and forth from the pillow you shoved your phone under and Brynn’s face, you nod.

“Y-yeah, it was him.”

Brynn sighs, fiddling with her hands.

“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do, especially not tonight, but I just think-”

“No, no, it’s alright. You’re right, you’re right.” A jolt hits you as your phone vibrates, the vibrations rumbling through the fabric and stabbing right into your stomach. You force yourself to look away, fiddling with your fingers. Brynn shoots you a pitiful look, you’re sure of it, even as your efuse to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t talk to him tonight. Not right now, not when I’m like….this.” A slow, tired breath escapes you. “I’ll make him wait, just like he did.”

The coach cushion bends as Brynn sits next to you, rubbing your shoulder as she leans in for a side each. You accept it, your body like a deadweight as you let yourself go slack in her arms.

“Do you want anything? Chocolate, maybe a movie? I’ve got some leftover cheesecake?”

“A movie sounds nice.” You murmur, nodding against her chest. Brynn hums, her tail coming up and massaging your lower back as she kisses you on the forward.

“Of course, your choice. Do you want me to get your drink?”

You nod once more, letting Brynn untangle herself from the hug and laying back on the couch, grabbing the comfiest blanket and the remote. You quickly flick through you and Brynn’s ‘most watched’ section on Netflix. You need something new tonight, something to get your mind off.

All your regular comfort movies are romances, after all.

By the time Brynn comes back, a rum and coke and a carton of ice cream in hand, you’re already snuggled into a blanket burrito. She hands you a spoon and the glass, which you wordlessly accept. She sits down and throws a hand over your shoulder, trying her best to massage the left over tension in your neck. You sink into the feeling, pressing on your movie of choice.

“Mad Max: Fury Road, huh? I’ve heard this movie’s great.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “It is.”

And chocked full of shitty men getting what they deserve.

As the opening title plays, the deep voice of Tom Hardy kicking the movie off, you snuggle into Brynn’s side. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s drowned out by screaming men and loud engines. Just how you like it.

Honey ❤️: Could you call me in the morning?

Honey ❤️: I’ll leave you alone for the night, I’m sorry

Honey ❤️: I love you

--------

Waruck sighs, his fingers shaking as another small ‘message delivered’ shows up on his screen. No response, just like the last 15 texts. He finds himself typing out another anyway.

I love you so fucking much

It reads, but is quickly deleted. Waruck clicks off his phone, but it stays in his hand, taunting him. The black mirror shows a sad, pathetic boyfriend, getting the silent treatment.

He falls back onto his bed, exhausted from a day of doing nothing. Nothing but worrying and feeling guilty, with the occasional flicking through TV channels and texting his girlfriend.

It’s getting late, his bedside clock cutting through the dark of his room to remind him he’s been up for almost 16 hours now. Waruck slides a hand through his hair and gets up. He’s going to have to camp out in front of the TV, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep tonight.

Not after what he did.

--------

He had gone out with friends. Friends from highschool who he still occasionally chatted with, friends he didn’t even really like anymore. But the past two weeks had him feeling oddly...nostalgic, like something was out of place. So when his buddy Simon had invited him to the bar, he had eagerly accepted.

He remembers grabbing his coat, you sending him a text to have fun, and him not replying. He didn’t know why he didn’t respond, he still doesn’t. The two of you had been going strong for almost 8 months now, with only the occasional hiccup that most couples have. So why didn’t he respond? What made him casually throw your sweet remark to the side like that?

Waruck shakes his head, trying to focus on the movie in front of him. Now isn’t the time to get existential over tiny shit like that, not with how the rest of the night went.

When he met up with the group, Waruck immediately knew that tonight was going to be different. His current group of friends are quite different, less rowdy, than his old posse. At only 10 PM, three of the guys we’re already halfway drunk, saving a spot in line from him outside the noisy bar. The electronic music that thrummed through the concrete and out onto the street reminded him of how much time has passed, how different his usual party-scene is now, and he revels in that feeling of former good-times.

Simon greets him with a hug, the guys shouting his name as he joins them. From the corner of his eye, he sees a gaggle of girls giggling.

And that's where it started.

An orc woman, dressed in a beautiful black dress, winks as she passes him at the bar. Simon nudges his side as Waruck takes a drink.

“Dude, that chick is totally sending you the look”

Waruck furrows his brow, stirring his drink.

“What’s ‘the look’?” He says, taking another sip of his scotch.

Simon rolls his eyes. “The ‘come hit on me’ look dude! That’s the sign you need to go for it!”

“I have a girlfriend, Simon.”

Simon scoffs, throwing his hand out dramatically. “What, that human chick?”

Waruck has half of mind to set down his drink and ask Simon what he means with that sarcastic tone of voice. It pisses him off, but he says nothing, just rolls his eyes.

“No offense, bro, she looks cute and all. But is she really worth missing out on some great ass?”

Waruck grimaces and shoots Simon a dirty look. “Jesus, Simon, are you serious?”

“I’m serious! When was the last time you had fun, y’know? Everyone knows an orc chick can throw down, wild-style.” Simon nudges him in his side, playfully, but it only serves to make Waruck more annoyed. “C’mon, you seriously don’t miss it?”

Waruck should tell him a firm ‘No’, finish his drink, and leave. He should call a cab and go home, call you and rant about his gross misogynistic friend from high school.

But he doesn’t.

The part of him, the part of him that feels slightly off, wonders if this is it. It had been a long time since he had been with another orc. You were a great girlfriend, but so different from in so many ways. Is that it?

Maybe relieving the old days will satisfy whatever longing he has, and then it will leave forever. Would that be so bad, to let loose for one night?

Waruck feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see the orc girl from earlier; The one who sent him ‘the look’.

“Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?”

Between the boosted bass of the music and the orc woman pressing up against him, Waruck doesn’t notice Simon slip away, giving him a pat on the back.

Leave, say no, tell her she’s got the wrong guy, you fucking idiot. His consciousness yells.

“U-uh, sure.” He stutters.

She introduces herself as Naz and says she noticed him the minute he walked in.

“Hard not to notice the best-dressed guy in the room.” She flirts, pressing herself closer and up against him.

He has a thousand little moments like that, to say something; To pull back and apologize, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he slips into a corner booth with her, purposely ignoring the texts you send to check up on him. You had remembered that he wasn’t sure how much fun this night would be, and routinely checked in if he needed a convenient excuse to leave early. You’re sweet like that.

Naz is sweet too. She's a great conversationalist, with a good head on her shoulders and an interesting career in zoology. Waruck could see the two of you being good friends.

Is that why she seems so alluring? Because she’s so similar to you? Waruck’s mind does mental gymnastics to try and justify his hesitance, his compliance in believing that maybe she has something different after all, even though he knows that isn’t true.

The two of them talk for a solid hour and a half, Naz slowly inching herself closer and putting a hand on his knee. His body screams in resistance, his stomach tying up into knots, but he doesn’t push her away.

“So, I’ve got a room not too far from here. What do you say we go make ourselves a bit more comfortable?”

This is his final chance to find an excuse and say goodnight. To run back home and forget this ever happened. But the words are caught in his throat and he’s further silenced by the nearby whooping of his asshole friends.

“Yeah, Waruck! Get some!”

Naz chuckles and mistakenly reads his seething anger at himself with embarrassment for his friends. She leans in, grabbing his jaw, and whispers.

“Let's give them a show, huh?” Then, she kisses him.

The noises of the bar, his friends, and Naz all drown away as her lips mold into his. Waruck’s body goes rigid, terrified as time seems to freeze as he kisses someone who is not his girlfriend.

But all of that stops when your ringtone begins to blast in his pocket. It should be near silent when compared to the pounding bar music, but that familiar jingle seems to cut deep into his skin and skewer his heart. Waruck pulls away with a quick jerk, Naz almost falling over as he pushes himself into his seat and away from her body-heat. Every nerve is a light with tension as he quickly pulls out his phone.

There on the screen is a picture of you, your contact name, “Sweetie❤️”, shining through the dimmed light of that bar. Waruck breathes heavily, feeling like he’s just run an emotional marathon, stuck in his own head until Naz slides away from him.

“Wait, hold on, do you have a girlfriend?”

Waruck looks at her, then looks at his still-ringing phone, then back to Naz. He nods.

Naz's face curls up into obvious disgust, quickly directing her body to be as far away from him as possible. “Fucking hell, dude. What the fuck?” She grabs her handbag and stomps out of the booth, not before throwing her drink in his face and telling him to go to hell.

He almost watches her move across the bar, most likely to go complain to her friends about the asshole she just wasted the last 2 hours chatting up, but all he can focus on is your picture on his phone.

--------

Waruck practically runs out of the bar, his whole body covered in sweat and his mind racing a mile a minute.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He felt like a 15 year old, goaded into another shitty prank just because he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, buying into their weird bullshit about humans. Was he seriously going to throw away your wonderful relationship over one night, over one urge?

Naz had been strikingly beautiful, in all the ways he was taught an orc like himself should look for. She could probably get any guy in that club tonight, but she wasn’t you. You’re different, but in so many cool, inconsequential, uniquely-you ways.

Waruck doesn’t know how long he walks before he sits down outside a cafe, trying to collect his racing emotions. He feels gross, sticky with the kind of sweat you only get after too much alcohol and too many people. The screen of his phone seems to reflect every smudge and finger-print as he swipes it to unlock it, finally getting the courage to read your text messages.

They start off normal, spread out over several hours. The occasional “How are the guys?” and “Hope you are having fun! Just let me know when you get home safe.” before dropping off into nothing. Right up until 20 minutes ago, where you send a short and curt text that has his heart dropping to his stomach.

Sweetie❤️: Can you call me right now?

Sweetie❤️: Waruck, I need to talk to you

Sweetie❤️: Are you still at the bar?

After that is a notification of your missed call from earlier and Waruck can’t help but feel  guilt stir in his gut.

It could be nothing, something unrelated to what he almost did tonight. But the notification he gets from his Instagram says otherwise. It says a mutual of his tagged him in a photo 30 minutes ago.

Waruck feels like vomiting when he opens up Simon’s story and sees a shaky picture of Naz, draped over him in the corner booth, with him looking all too happy to have her there. The caption reads

“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight 🤣🤣 #BoysNight20XX”

But what comes next is even worse; An even blurrier photo of Naz kissing him, both of their eyes closed as she almost sits in his lap.

Waruck can’t even look at the caption, quickly exiting out of the app and calling you.

He needs to explain himself.

But what will he say?

The phone rings, rings, rings….

Waruck waits with bated breath, thinking you’re going to let it go to voicemail, but you answer. There is no cheerful “Hi Babe” or even a tired and drawn-out “Hey.” Instead all Waruck hears is a shaky sigh, waiting for an explanation.

The words stay caught in Warucks throat, trying to find a way to maneuver and swing around to a solid excuse, a lie he hopes you won’t catch.

But he can’t, he can’t. Not to you.

So you make it easy for him, like you always do, and start the conversation off instead.

“Were you flirting with that girl?”

Waruck’s mind doesn’t give him a choice, the truth already spilling out like a tidal wave.

“Yes.”

Waruck hears you suck in a breath, before you shakily ask once more,

“Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her back?”

“Yes.”

There's 15 seconds of brutal silence as Waruck sits with his confession. In the moment, Waruck feels like he can hear your pounding heartbeat through the receiver.

You hang up.

---------

You hate the weather outside for two reasons.

One: You had far too much rum last night to enjoy any amount of sunlight. And,

Two: On a terrible morning like this one, it feels unfair that there aren't any dramatic thunder storms.

The bell rings on the cafe door as you walk in, causing you to wince as you pull down your sunglasses.

Thank god for the low lighting of these cafes.

You rub your brow, eyes scanning the menu above the bar. Some caffeine should do you good, at least with your headache.

But when you spot him, tucked away at a table, tapping his foot, all that aching pain seems to fall to your subconscious. Before you can meet eyes, you look away, forcing yourself to re-read the menu and blink away your tears.

You face the inevitable when you put in your order, turning to walk towards Waruck. He’s locked his gaze into the wood grain of the table, his large body hunched up and small, like he wants to sink into the shadows. He looks like shit, with large bags under his eyes and a nervous tension in his face.

He startles when you pull out a chair, sitting down across from him, but quickly curls back into his ball of shame. He looks so guilty, a small part of you wants to comfort him and tell him it’ll be alright.

You punch away that part of you with a baseball bat.

“Why did you flirt with her?”

Waruck says nothing. He looks at you with his tired eyes, big and racked with guilt.

I don’t know. They whisper.

Your fingers dig into your jeans, anger boiling up and through your nerves.

That’s not a good enough answer.

“Were you,” You suck in a breath, trying to control your volume, “Were you going to sleep with her? If I hadn’t called you, would you have-”

“No!” Waruck nearly shouts, shaking the table as his knees bang against the bottom, but he recoils once he sees the way you flinch. “No, I wasn’t going to.”

Those pesky tears press against your eyelids once more. You can feel your nails digging indents into your thighs.

“I don’t know if  I can believe that.” You whisper, failing to catch the crack in your voice.

Waruck’s brow furrows as he nervously chews his bottom lip. He tries to meet your gaze, but you seem to look right through him.

“I know.” Waruck sighs, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

There's a tenuous silence; Waruck tries to find the words to fix things  while you focus on the details of the cafe walls, examining every nook and cranny as you try not to sob.

“I-I understand if you don’t trust me. I understand if you hate me, or you want to break up. But please, please know that I love you, and that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been kicking myself over flirting with that girl because I love you so fucking much. I-”

You hold up your hand, stopping Waruck in his tracks. He realizes how loud he’s been talking and that people are beginning to stare. He huddles back into his corner, tucking his hands into his lap. You let out a long breath. Waruck takes the risk and looks up.

When his eyes finally meet yours, he realizes just how sad you look. A treacherous tear has begun falling down your cheek, sending a lightning bolt of remorse into Waruck’s chest.

You take in another deep breath, wiping away the tear with the back of your hand. You look at Waruck, exhausted.

“I don’t,”  You falter, but catch yourself, “I don’t want to break up with you. I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet.”

Waruck nods, fiddling with his fingers.

“Of course, I get it-”

“I’m not done.” Waruck quickly shuts his mouth. “You hurt me, Waruck. Hurt me in a way I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So I need time. Time before I can even see you again without thinking,” You hiccup, but this time you let the wave of emotion hit you, full force.  “Without thinking about that night.”

A lady calls out your order, but neither of you makes a move. You sit in each other's presence, trying to wrap yourselves around the mess of emotions, trying to read the others mind without seeming too obvious.

You both sit here, in the presence of something that's been broken, damaged in a way that’s cut the heart of your chest and slams them on the table. There’s a crack that runs down between you two, inching open more and more with each breath.

But somehow, somehow, you both think you have a chance of fixing it.

[kuroyukihime]

Bakugo x Reader: Choose Me [Pt. 1]

[LOTS OF ERROR; TO BE REVISED]

“HEADLINE: PRO HERO – DYNAMIGHT ANNOUNCES HIS MARRIAGE”

It was fucking news to everyone, heck even the No.1 Pro Hero busted through his office doors demanding an explanation. It was so out of the blue as the picture of him together with another girl at a restaurant, with him reaching out touching the woman’s cheek spread like wildfire all over the internet. No one knew he had been dating, no one even knew he was interested in others. Literally everyone thought… Bakugo Katsuki was after you. You who had been there for him since high school, never in his personal space but always was with him, never failing him and was always doing your best to be there for him whether he needed you or not. You always did your best not to let your feelings get known specifically to him, so when others noticed him warming up to you and then inviting you to his agency (which he was just planning on having and building) right after fucking graduation and then the event where the villain almost had you and he literally went full murder mode just to retrieve you, everyone thought for sure you guys were going to end up together. So—

“Kacchan!” Slamming his palm on Midoriya’s face, Bakugo gritted his teeth “You’re way too close, you damn nerd!”

“Bakugo-kun! What is this? Is this true?” Uraraka asked, showing him the article on her phone

“Ha? What part of it do you not understand, Round cheeks? It’s exactly what’s written there!” He growled

“But… Not even we know you were going out, you’re always at work!” Kirishima reasoned

“AH! SO ANNOYING! GET OUT OF MY CASE YOU IDIOTS! IT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS! NOW FUCK OFF!” He snapped, gritting his teeth in frustration

“Katsuki!” A voice called out to him from behind, everyone’s attention turned to you as you simply smiled, holding your phone close to your chest. The way you were gripping it tight didn’t go unnoticed by many, especially Bakugo

“Congratulations!” You grinned and Bakugo just stared at you for a second before scoffing and looking to the side

“Yeah… Whatever…”

The silence that followed was thick but no one knew what to say. Still true to your role however, you were still his sidekick, and his second in command of the agency. You still had work to do.

“Ah that’s right minna! It’s still noon, you shouldn’t be flooding here unless you have businesses to attend to! Back to your agencies you go!” You ushered them out

Please. No more gazes of pity. Please get out. Or else… I won’t make it through…

“(Name)-san…” Midoriya looked at you with concern in his eyes as you slowly closed the door of Bakugo’s office. Standing there in front of everyone, you took a deep breath and hardened your smile. You needed to make it. Just until the end of the day… please

“We can talk later… For now, you guys have work” You bid them all goodbye “I’ll see you later”

Without even giving them a chance to reply, you retreated back to Bakugo’s office, unintentionally slamming the door harder than expected

“Oi”

You visibly flinched when he called out to you. You really weren’t in the mood to talk to him, more or less stand to be in the same room as him. You could feel yourself starting to break little by little

“Whoops sorry, didn’t mean to slam that harder than intended. Oh by the way, you haven’t done your patrol yet, right?” You laughed, going over to your desk and rearranging the papers “I can take over the shift for you, I need some fresh air anyways” You said and by the time you finished talking you were already out the door

Bakugo glanced at the huge open windows lined up in his office room, literally placed right behind where his office desk stood parallel to

“Fresh air my ass” He grumbled

EARLIER THAT DAY…

“HA?! AIN’T NO WAY I’M DOING THAT SHIT! GO DIE!”

“B-but Dynamight! The aristocrat’s daughter is in danger! The only way we can catch the villain that has been stalking her is if we announce a public wedding!” The higher ups tried to reason with him

“THEN FIND ANOTHER RICH ASSHOLE FOR THIS SHIT OR BETTER YET SET CCTVs OR HERO AND BODYGUARDS ON STAND-BY TO GUARD THE BITCH! FUCKING THINK!”

“A-ah, we’ve already set those up, but we need a pro hero on her side since the initiation will surely happen at the wedding and the daughter specifically requested you to guard her!”

He honestly feels disgusted by that information

Keh! Bitch is a fan, fucking great

Then again, this was a huge group of villains they’re talking about. Sighing in annoyance, he eventually agreed. Now, how was he going to explain this—

“Ah by the way, Dynamight, you can’t speak a word about this to anyone. The villains have a member that can camouflage and has another that has intense hearing from miles away. Strictly not a word until the mission is done”

BACK TO PRESENT…

A ring coming from his phone brought him back to reality. He fished his phone out from his pocket and looked at who had texted him.

“Father said we should meet up at X Restaurant, see you there <3”

Staring at the door where he last saw your retreating figure, Bakugo took a deep breath and shouted in frustration

“FUCKING SHIT!”

At your part, jumping from roof to roof, you tried your best to do the patrol as diligent as possible. You needed to clear your mind as well. This ugly, painful feeling stirring up a storm inside of you made you clench your fist in frustration. It’s your fault for expecting so much, your fault for reading the signs wrong and it was your fault for loving a person who promised you nothing. Letting the tears finally drop, you silently cried at the rooftop alone. You had no idea how long you were crying however, even this time of wallowing wasn’t given to you by fate because after a few minutes, you heard distant crying and screams and as the sun was setting, you squinted your eyes, noticing something from the distance before the villain charged straight at you.

You seethed through the pain of your body hitting the floor of the rooftop with such force as the villain loomed down on you. Ah fuck, those were going to leave bruises. Summoning your weapon, you roughly grabbed the Villain’s foot and shoved him out of the way.

“I’m kinda in a bad mood… Sorry” You muttered, charging straight after the villain

As usual, the news were already on your tail. The villain provided quite a bit of a fight, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. Plus, with the negative emotion fuelling you, it wasn’t long before the villain finally gave himself up in exchange for his life. When the news reporter asked for an interview, you simply turned and ignored them. You can’t have cameras up in your face this time, everyone will notice the puffy eyes. However, your cold actions startled everyone. You were known as the kind one between your duo, while the Pro Hero Dynamight was as brash as he can be, you were always the one the media counted to speak in his behalf. Always smilling, always having such a warm aura. The usual welcoming hero-type.

Returning back to the agency, you honestly didn’t even think about getting your wounds treated first. Honestly speaking, you didn’t even notice you had small wounds. Though they were only scratches, it still needed to be disinfected. It was only when Kirishima stated it with slight panic in his voice that you noticed.

“Ah! (Name)! Why didn’t you go to the hospital to get that treated?”

You smiled, as hard as it was, you tried your best “There’s really nothing to worry about, I can just treat this with First Aid”

You retreated to the locker rooms and got the first aid, silently mending your wounds alone until a loud knock came from outside

“Oi”

Taking a deep breath, you stood up, the bandage still wrapped loosely on your forearms and answered the door. Putting on another fake smile, you grinned

“Yo!”

“Don’t fucking Yo me, get out here, look how shitty those bandages are wrapped around you. You wanna get infected?” Bakugo nagged

“Ah! No it’s fine—“

His glares made you shut up and simply comply with his request. He dragged you towards inside the office and made you sit on his chair

“Wh—“

“Tch stop fucking complaining and seat, dammit”

The way he handled your wounds with utmost care, like you were such a fragile being, made you want to cry again. Soon, another woman will experience this. You weren’t special to him. Maybe you were, but not in the sense you wanted. Much like Kirishima and the others, you were simply a dear friend to him.

Just a friend

His phone suddenly started ringing, you wouldn’t notice it but Bakugo felt his blood turn cold. He knew exactly who was calling. He immediately snatched his phone before you could take a peek who the Caller ID was.

Sighing loudly, Bakugo answered the call

“What? I told you never to call me unless it’s an emergency, right?” He snarled

“You’re mean Katsuki-n, I’m already at the restaurant! Where are you?”

You dreaded to hear that overly sweet voice, it made you want to throw up, further more apparently Bakugo had a date, what the heck was he doing taking his time with you then? Slowly standing up from the office chair, Bakugo’s other hand slammed on the sidearm of it, trapping you. His glare was on-point again. You wondered what was he so pissed off about? Pouting slightly, you sunk back to the chair

“I’m still doing shit, who told you be there so damn early?! Also I told you not to call me by my first name! WE'RE NOT FUCKING CLOSE”

Your eyes widened a bit, a little bit of pride welling up inside you as you remembered how in their meet ups, Bakugo would always be there earlier than you and how he had no problem whatsoever when one day the way you called him suddenly changed from Bakugo to Katsuki

“Eh? More important than me?”

Unconsciously, Bakugo licked the upper part of his lips as his gaze went to you, staring at the reports on his desk completely unaware of his eyes. He smirked

“Damn right bitch, a lot more important than you”

Your eyes widened, eyes immediately meeting his. You were about to retort but his hands were quick on your mouth

“Anyways, I’ll fucking be there in an hour, don’t be fucking annoying”

With that, Bakugo hung up, not even waiting for the girl to reply. He removed his hand from your mouth.

“Don’t fucking talk, I’m gonna be found out”

You looked to the side, unable to meet his gaze, the blush spreading like wildfire on your face.

“You have no delicacy, Katsuki” You commented and Bakugo couldn’t help but chuckle

“What the heck did you expect from me?” He paused for a bit “Work comes first”

And just like that, your new budding hope was crushed. Of course… Even you were considered a load to him.

“There, done, next time I’m coming with you on patrols” He said, standing up and walking away from you, carrying the first aid with him “Go home”

You felt despair. This bitter feeling was becoming too much now. You stood up and hurried out, going straight for the locker room and changing out of your hero clothes. You wanted to go home as soon as you can. Everything was piling up and it was becoming too much for her to handle.

Next time I’m coming with you on patrols

You gritted your teeth. First the marriage, then he suddenly doubts your strength to do things alone. Slowly… everything you’d ever done to build a good relationship with Bakugo was slowly crumbling. Grabbing your bag, you ran out of the building, ignoring Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari’s shout of concern.

On the other locker room, Bakugo was cherishing the feel of your lips on his hand, bringing it close to his mouth, he tried to feel as much as he can from the past sensation. He heard the others calling out your name so he went outside to see what the commotion was, only to find the entrance door sliding to close

“What’re you idiots yelling at?”

“Ah, (Name) suddenly ran outside, she seemed like in a real hurry, I mean she didn’t even bid goodbye to us like she always does” Sero explained and Bakugo just stood there before staring at his hand and clenching it.

You didn’t even bother waiting for him like you always do

Hell finish this mission as fast as he can before he loses you.

At the train, on the walk home, you kept your head hung low until you’ve reached your apartment. Closing the door, your body slid down on the door as you finally, finally let everything out. So much had happened in one day that it was too much for you.

Bakugo Katsuki was going to get married… not to you

Another woman will be on the receiving end of his affections… not yo

He’s beginning to doubt your skills… that’s on you

You cried and cried, not caring about anything else in the world. You kept at it until your body gave up and eventually you fell asleep on the entrance. You had a short unpleasant dream however, it was a dream where Bakugo kept walking forward and no matter how much you ran, how much you yell out his name, he didn’t stop, he didn’t even look at you, it was like you weren’t even there, but when another woman was right behind you, unable to walk by herself, Bakugo turned around and past by you, carrying the girl in his arms, laughing and smiling without a care in the world as he left you behind once more.

You woke up from then on, feeling your entire body cold as a result of sleeping at the entrance. You didn’t bother standing up yet though. Your mind was too busy rethinking the dream. You clenched your hands near your chest and gritted your teeth as another wave of tears threatened to spill.

You’ve decided.

For the first time, you were going to kill these feelings and stand by his side as one of his best friends. You’ll take what you can. You’ll kill it over and over again, no matter how many times if it means you’ll be with him longer. It pains to admit it, but you feel like you can’t continue working under him if you let your one-sided feelings continue and you can’t have that. You can’t bear it, thinking of living a life without Bakugo in it, atleast as a friend and a sidekick, you will still be there at his side. You just need to be there by his side… Be satisfied with that…

“…Atleast… let me be selfish one last time… before I kill off this feelings” You muttered, feeling sleep overcome you

[fleetingpieces]

My Two in a Million

Hold your horses, I finally finished writing something! I know it's probably not what you expected and it's definitely not one of my best works, but I feel that if I don't post it now, I will never get out of the slump.

So apologies in advance and I hope you enjoy it a bit anyway! <3

Thank you so much for being so patient with me :)))

Thanks to @knittingdreams @donttouchmycarrots @inloveoknutzy and @asunshinepuff for all your help, love you guys <3

Ao3

Characters belong to @lumosinlove !

Chapter 1

“Lily, why the hell are we out here?” Logan asked, wrapping his arms around himself. He glanced around the hall at the other party guests that were milling about—all of whom had costumes more fitting for the cool weather—and grumbled as he leaned against the wall, a hiss escaping his lips when the cold material touched his bare back.

Lily glanced at him, amused. “It’s not my fault you chose to show off your body when it’s fucking freezing outside.”

“No, it’s Finn’s. He had it stuck in his head that we just had to wear sexy costumes,” Logan rolled his eyes; though he couldn’t deny that he’d been more than happy when he first saw Finn that night. His breath had completely left his lungs when the redhead had stepped out of the bathroom wearing a Spartan costume, smiling like a little kid at his fake sword, his firm abs on display, a familiar trail of red hair disappearing under the wide belt and—

Logan gulped and tried to remember that he was at a party full of people, willing his mind not to think about how he’d felt. Or about how much he was dying to get Finn out of that damn skirt.

“Still, that doesn’t explain why we’re out here instead of inside, where it’s warmer and I could be in my half-naked boyfriend’s arms.”

“Just bear with me, ok? It shouldn’t be long now.”

Logan sighed; he knew better than to try to argue with his friend. “So how’s your business going?” he asked instead.

“Oh, it’s great!” Lily replied, her face lighting up with a smile. “We received a shipment of rare books today, there’re a few that I’m sure Finn would love. I will separate a few—” she stopped in the middle of her excited explanation as she looked towards the elevators, her smile going wider. “Remus!” she yelled and, without another word, pushed against the wall to walk ahead.

Frowning, Logan grumbled and followed behind a moment later. Had she been waiting for someone? Perhaps this meant that he could go back inside and get out of the cold. Halfway there, he looked to see who Lily had called for, noticing two people waiting but focusing mainly on one of them as his eyes fell on a long set of legs. Damn, this guy is huge, he thought as his gaze wandered slowly up the dark ripped jeans and comfy looking jumper.

The guy jumped slightly and dropped some keys he was holding. Logan didn’t get to see the face under the mop of blond hair as he bent to pick them up, but noticed how red his neck was and chuckled softly.

Cute.

Then the boy straightened up and Logan almost choked on his laugh as their gazes locked. His eyes were the bluest he’d ever seen, like staring at an open sky, contrasting with the blush on his cheeks—whether from the cold or from embarrassment, Logan wasn’t sure. He seemed slightly guarded, which made Logan cock his head wondering why. As a few more seconds passed and he didn’t break eye contact, some of the tension left the boy’s shoulders, the corner of his mouth lifting up in a shy smile as he ruffled his hair, the gesture going straight to Logan’s gut.

Shaking his head, he focused on the floor as he reached Lily’s side. The man standing next to the blond—Remus, most likely—was talking with Lily, but Logan could barely process what they were saying in the middle of the turmoil that was his head. With great effort, he tried to keep his eyes down, but his gaze kept wandering back to blue.

He was pulled out of his musings when Lily placed a hand on his shoulder and tilted her head towards the tall guy who, Logan noticed, had his eyes now trailing down Logan’s arms. “Hi, I’m Lily and this is Logan,” she said with a smile.

The blond —Logan cursed himself for not catching his name— gave him a sheepish wave and another small smile, and Logan found himself returning it as a tingling sensation spread through his body, starting from his mouth and going down to his toes.

“Salut! Are you guys joining the party?” he asked hopefully.

“Ah, sorry, but well… we don’t really have costumes,” Remus replied and the other guy turned to look at him with a scowl. It looked like he wanted to argue with his...friend? Logan had no idea what they were. Or who they were, for that matter.

But he kinda wanted to.

“Costumes are not mandatory. C’mon, I promise you’ll have fun,” Lily turned pleading eyes to Remus.

The newcomers glanced at each other, an unspoken conversation being held between them. Taking a sip from his drink, Logan stared at the floor again and, when he looked back up, the blond had his head tilted down, his bottom lip jutting out, eyes big and begging and blue, and it was so fucking adorable that Logan almost spat out his rum.

He turned to the side and coughed discreetly just as Remus gave in and Lily started happily guiding them into the apartment.

All the way there, Logan kept wanting to ask for the guy’s name as they stole glances at each other, but he didn’t want to show just how little attention he’d been paying. Or maybe where his attention had been. Once inside, they were welcomed by the much needed heat, low lights and a playlist that was without a doubt put together by Talker. Natalie, Marlene and a few other people were dancing to the beat, but Logan knew where he would find most of the gang: in the living room, exactly where they’d left them.

The thought of who would be waiting for him there felt like a bucket of cold water thrown in his face, making him falter in his step. What the fuck had he been thinking? Frowning, Logan hid his tightly closed fists inside his pockets, waiting a few steps back while Lily filled two cups with some orange beverage and handed them over to Remus and his companion.

As soon as they stepped into the living room, his sight landed on Finn playing against Thomas and Kasey, his wild auburn hair falling into his eyes, completely focused on the task at hand as he tapped buttons and whooped when he managed a combo.

Finn.

Logan made a bee-line for him, desperate to feel his boyfriend’s warmth, have him close after the jarring emotions that had assaulted him just now. He also left his cup at the table for good measure—maybe he’d been drinking too much.

Burrowing into his boyfriend’s side, he tried to leave as little space between them as possible, which made Finn chuckle and shiver slightly.

“Honey, you’re freezing,” he said as he nudged him with his head.

“Blame Evans. She forced me to stay out so she could wait for her friend.” His thoughts went back to the other person that had come with them, but he avoided the urge to look for him.

“Friend? Who was it?” Finn asked, not taking his eyes away from the screen as suddenly James’ character stood still and they started losing. “Pots, focus!”

“Someone named Remus? I have no idea.”

“Wait, no no no!” Finn screamed and punched the buttons harder, but James was not helping at all and they were both knocked out. “Oh, come on!” Everyone laughed as Finn threw the controller on the table and turned to playfully glare at Lily, who was sitting on James’ lap. “Lily, what did I tell you? Don’t distract him when he plays on my team!”

“Stop crying and pay up, O’Hara!” Kasey grinned and high-fived Thomas.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just lucky Lily was on your team as well,” Finn mumbled but threw the twenty bucks in their direction before turning to Logan with a smile. “Hey baby.”

Next thing Logan knew, there were lips pressed against his. He smiled into it, bringing a hand up to brush Finn’s hair out of his face, letting the feel of his body ground him again.

As they pulled apart, he caught the blond guy staring, their eyes meeting only for a second before the boy looked away. His jaw was set in a hard line, so different from the expressions he’d shown Logan out there, and suddenly he was flooded with guilt at the pull that kept tugging in two different directions.

He felt completely thrown off. His feelings for Finn were as strong as ever, but he was still very intrigued by this other person. There was something that made him want to talk with him more, ask about his life, check if those long arms could envelop him whole as it seemed. To just go over there and introduce him to Finn.

What kind of shitty person was he?

“Everyone,” Lily said then, grabbing everyone’s attention, “these are Remus and Leo. Remus is Sirius’ new neighbour, so be nice to them!” She pierced them with her best and-if-you-don’t glare that all of them knew well, making some of the guys gulp.

Leo, Logan thought. It fit him, somehow.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Remus said.

“Hello,” Leo smiled brightly at whoever was sitting to their right and Logan felt Finn freeze for a second as the corner of his mouth lifted in a silly smile.

Well, at least he knew Finn found Leo attractive as well.

His boyfriend turned to him, tilting his head to the side. “I’ve run into that Remus guy in the hall before, but who is that?”

“His friend?” Logan said, trying not to sound too interested. “I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like they live together.”

“Yeah, no, I mean… I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere?”

Logan frowned. “I don’t think I saw him in the building before. I would remember someone that tall.”

“Oh baby, are you grumpy cause you hurt your neck when you looked at his face?” Finn teased as he petted Logan’s hair.

“Shut up, I’m not that much shorter than you.” Logan crossed his arms over his chest, turning his face away from Finn.

The stupid ass laughed and kissed his temple, which admittedly always managed to make Logan melt and lean into him, but he still made a ‘hmph’ sound, pulling another laugh out of Finn.

While both of them were distracted, the rest of the guys started setting everything up to play a new game which Remus seemed interested in. And then, out of nowhere, Sirius was asking Remus to play with him.

Finn and Logan looked at each other, wondering what the hell Sirius was up to. It was rare for him to want to play with some random guy, especially when most of the people in the room already had a hard time beating him. They even had a bet going about who would be the first to get five wins over Pads and so far, no one had managed it. Remus had absolutely no chance against someone that did this for a living.

But as it turned out, it was a very heated competition that had everyone watching closely. Logan wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen Sirius like that. He could tell he was focused, yes, but he was also excited, even if he was hiding it on the outside. In the end, Remus kicked Sirius’ ass.

“Yes!” both Remus and Leo yelled and then hugged, laughing. Leo put a hand on the back of Remus’ head and bumped their heads together. The gesture showed just how close they were, how comfortable they felt with each other, but what really had Logan’s attention was that wide, unbelievably happy smile that showed off his—

“Finn...dimples,” he whispered, though probably not as quietly as he should have, given the way Kasey snorted.

That in itself wasn’t a weird thing to say. Finn and Logan were open with each other. They talked about everything and had no secrets between them, because talking with Finn was as easy as breathing, and as vital too.

Logan trusted Finn. With his whole heart.

He knew he could talk to him about other guys that he found attractive and that Finn could do the same, ‘cause they weren’t possessive or so blinded by jealousy that they couldn’t separate things. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d had a talk like that either.

This was different though.

It’d been a very long while since Logan had been struck like this. Probably since the first time he’d laid eyes on Finn; he’d had no words to describe the feeling at that moment either. But there was something about those blue eyes and the way he’d held Logan’s gaze, about that shy but steady demeanour. And that smile.

Fuck, that smile.

Logan didn’t even know him, and he already knew that he’d love that grin here or in any other universe. And just how fucking weird was that?

Maybe he could ask Leo to play a game with him next, get to know him, make him feel comfortable. But he couldn’t get his attention, Leo’s gaze kept evading him, and Logan felt something like dread at the possibility that Leo might be doing it on purpose.

He didn’t get much of a chance anyway. After a bit of teasing about Padfoot, Remus stood up to defend him before trailing off in the middle of his speech, a faraway look on his face. Then he rushed out of the room, leaving a tense silence behind and Leo staring helplessly after him.

Lily was the first one to approach him, placing a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I… I will go check on him,” he smiled sadly and nodded to the room in general. “Thank you for inviting us.” And with that, he exited without a second glance back.

Logan wasn’t sure how he should feel about this kind of departure, or at the realisation that he might not see Leo again. Maybe it was a good thing; if his emotions could get stirred just by some glances, what would it be like if he actually got to know him?

Perhaps it was better to leave things as they were.

***

Shit shit shit shit.

It was late. Leo was so, so late.

He skidded around the corner and took the next hall at a light run, trying to avoid the other students, which luckily weren’t that many. Of course, he thought bitterly, that’s probably because other people manage to get to their own classes on time.

He still wasn’t sure what had happened, he was convinced he’d set his alarm for today, but clearly he hadn’t or he wouldn’t be running. His commute was quite long as it was, which meant that if he missed the train—like today—he was inevitably late unless a miracle happened.

Maybe he should really take Remus up on his offer to move in with him. It would also mean spending more time with his best friend, since between attending classes, doing homework and the time it took to get back home, he didn’t have many opportunities to see him lately. But there was no way Leo could afford that flat, and he didn’t want to take advantage of Remus.

Finally, he reached the door to his classroom and, after allowing a few seconds to let his breathing go back to normal, he went in as quietly as possible. The Professor had her back turned to him, so he quickly scanned the room and sat at the nearest empty seat, at the very back.

Sighing in relief that he didn’t seem to have missed too much, he opened his bag and took out his copy of Pride and Prejudice and the rest of his stuff. He was in such a hurry to catch up with the class that he knocked his pencil off the table, sending it rolling on the floor. Cringing at the sound it made, Leo bent to pick it up, only to find that another hand was already there.

He leaned back, blinking at the hand offering his pencil back, then followed the lines of the arm under the green, long-sleeved shirt, up to a familiar face and there Leo had to do a double-take.

Straightening up, he raised his eyebrows, making Finn laugh, his smile lifting to the side as he waved the pencil between them.

“Um, thanks,” Leo whispered, taking it and turning back to his notes with a frown.

Had he and Finn always shared a class together?

Since this was a course he was only taking for credits, Leo didn’t know many faces here and was usually so enthralled by the lecture that he didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings.

Finn hadn’t shown any signs that he’d recognised him at the Halloween party a week ago either. Though, if he was being honest, Leo had especially tried to avoid looking at them after he’d seen him hugging and kissing Logan.

Ugh, that memory… it’d been on his mind more than he cared to admit.

Leo didn’t want to think about how stupid he’d felt that night. He’d been shocked the first time he saw Logan, how his costume showed off his shoulders and thighs, the way he carried himself, the slight pout of his lips as he made his way towards them.

He didn’t want to think about how Logan’s eyes had started travelling up his body, making him panic and act like a fool. Or how despite that, Logan had also seemed a bit shy and fucking adorable and damn it, Leo had thought he was interested in him. But then they’d gone into the flat and Logan all but ran to Finn’s side, and Leo was left feeling like the biggest idiot in the whole damn world.

He hadn’t stayed for long after that. Worried as he was about Remus, he’d followed him shortly after he’d left and hadn’t talked with anyone else at the party. He’d thought that’d be the end of it. It was weird now to sit next to Finn when he’d been checking his boyfriend out just a few days ago.

The sound of a pencil tapping against wood brought Leo back from his musings. He peeked to the side and caught Finn with his chin perched in one hand, the other playing with the thin stick at a high speed. Leo followed the movement, back and forth, back and forth, and then up as Finn raised his hand and brought the pencil to his mouth, the bottom end tugging his pink lip down and then letting go.

The rest of the room quieted down as Leo stared. There was something about the way Finn held the pencil in his long fingers, how the sun coming in from the window seemed to hug him, the specs of dust dancing in the air by his head. How his eyes looked brighter and the strands in his hair lit up like fire.

Finn looked like warmth.

Something like a chill ran down Leo’s back and he quickly averted his eyes.

Though he couldn’t keep them away for long. Apparently, Finn was one of those people that couldn’t sit still and, now that Leo’d noticed, he couldn’t ignore every little movement coming from him, his bouncing leg, how he shifted in his seat and that damn tapping again.

He tried to pay attention to class, he really did, but he was so aware of the boy sitting just a few inches away, that his eyes kept going back to him and all those little movements.

Not able to take it any longer, Leo leaned in and placed a hand on top of Finn’s, feeling him going still under his touch. “Stop it,” he whispered, their eyes locked. The other boy didn’t say anything, just glanced between Leo’s eyes and their joined hands.

Blushing, Leo pulled away and tried to focus on the front of the room, the heat from Finn’s hand still tingling at the tip of his fingers.

Stop this right now, Leo scolded himself. He has a boyfriend.

A boyfriend that he’d also felt attracted to. What the hell was wrong with him?

Determined to keep his mind out of troublesome boys, he managed to listen and take notes for about ten minutes. But then he felt eyes on him. He pretended not to notice as Finn kept stealing glances, no doubt trying to be inconspicuous about it, but, apparently, Finn was as subtle as a flying brick.

The thought tugged a smile out of Leo, who quickly schooled his expression back to one of polite interest. You just grabbed his hand out of nowhere, of course he’s staring, he sighed.

At the end of the class, the teacher wrote a list of things on the board and turned to face them. “This assignment will be the first big one you’ll have, and it will determine 10% of your score, so don’t slack off! Pair up before you go and remember, your deadline is in two weeks.”

There were a few groans at the prospect of having to do something in pairs, but everyone started gathering their things anyway and talking with each other, already forming their teams.

A nudge on his shoulder made Leo look to his left and then he had to fight the urge to jump back. Finn was leaning towards him, that crooked smile on his face again and, this close, Leo could see the freckles sprinkled over his nose and cheeks.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, a light blush colouring his face when he realised Finn had said something but he hadn’t listened.

Finn’s head tilted a bit to the side, the other corner of his mouth going up too. “I said, do you want to pair up with me?”

“Oh,” was all Leo could reply. He imagined working together for hours, maybe alone in a secluded part of the library… How would he ever concentrate on their work if he couldn’t even pay attention in class when they were sitting next to each other? On the other hand, Finn seemed like a nice guy and surely Leo had enough self control to keep a cool head. Just because he was slightly attracted to him it didn’t mean that things would escalate further, especially not when he knew nothing could ever happen.

“I mean, if you already have someone—” Finn started when Leo didn’t reply for a while.

“No, no, sorry. Yeah, that would be nice,” he smiled.

“Sweet. Are you free right now? My next class is in the afternoon, so we could go back to my place and get started, if you want.”

“That…” Leo hesitated, but then hardened his resolve. He could be friends with Finn, right? It would be nice to make new acquaintances at school and there was always the chance that he might see him and Logan again at Remus’ building. He could forget about one or two silly crushes, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d had to do it.

“That sounds good.”