#whole day so I have to stop researching so that I can function as a person whose job is not in fact to do this.

[palukoo]

I should really post more insane shit on here bc fundamentally so often what I want is to be able to say things and then have people ask me for my opinions and have them listen to my extremely rambling answers that are somehow both extremely overly rigorous for the forum and lacking in the structure or research I would feel obligated to provide in almost any other context like an academic setting or shitty podcast or whatever. unfortunately I find this somewhat mortifying and have the persistent aspirations of doing said research and structuring in order to make some kind of actually decent podcast or whatever so I don’t want to just post all of my thoughts on a topic I’d like to actually properly cover in some sort of way in the future. that said. I don’t do that. so you see my predicament.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[psychicwavementality]

🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!

EDIT NOV 11 2024: So with recent Niisato interview news that Suo was designed to be a cool Chinese character, I have officially lost all words. Take my post as my "I called it so hard because it was obvious from the start, but I sure do appreciate the extra confirmation" cheer.

I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.

Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.

Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.

Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.

So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.

Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭

Anyway.

In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:

Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—

...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?

why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M

Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:

Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection

O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?

Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)

Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)

To (飛) – Fly or Flight

Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon

Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya

- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible

- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*

*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.

-

1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'

Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.

If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???

Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.

Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!

However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.

Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.

There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.

From Wikipedia:

洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉，在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」，英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外，也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉，甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊（Cercis chinensis）的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別，但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3]，引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。

(Edited MTL):

As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.

The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.

There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).

(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)

2. What does this mean for Suo?

The Lack of '洋 (yang)':

(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)

Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.

In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.

Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.

Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:

There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.

On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.

Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.

Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.

On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)

Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).

Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.

OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.

3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana

In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:

3、倔强坚强

紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强，紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑，就算在阴雨天气，叶片被大风所吹动，不断摇慎态摆，也不会掉落，好似一位倔强的人，永远不会向困难低头，努力拼搏，最终收获成功。

(Edited MTL):

3. Stubborn and strong

The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.

It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:

紫荊花的象徵意義 紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。 在中國傳統文化中，紫荊花還被視為春天的使者，寓意著新生命和新的希望。

(Edited MTL)

The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.

Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:

Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.

They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?

Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...

Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋（すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.

While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.

Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.

The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.

From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.

Bauhinia kappleri:

Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.

Bauhinia acuminata:

The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.

Bauhinia variegata:

1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.

2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.

Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:

在中國文化中，紫色���代表高貴與權力，而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。 此外，洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮，這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。

(Edited MTL)

In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.

I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?

Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕

It's all coming together...

The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟：

This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪

原文/Original:

京兆田真兄弟三人，共议分财。生资皆平均，唯堂前一株紫荆树，共议欲破三片。翌日就截之，其树即枯死，状如火然。真往见之，大愕，谓诸弟曰：“树本同株，闻将分斫，固憔悴，是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜，不复解树。树应声荣茂，兄弟相感，遂和睦如初。

註釋/Glossary

（1）京兆：京城地區。

（2）生資：生活資料。

（3）皆：都。

（4）唯：只有。

（5）破：使之破為。

（6）就：開始。

（7）即：立即；立刻。

（8）狀：形狀；狀態。

（9）然：通假字，同“燃”，燃燒。

（10）翌日：第二天

（11）愕：驚訝。

（12）諸：眾；

（13）斫（zhuó）：砍。

（14）勝：承受；控制。

（15）憔悴：枯死。

（16）故：所以。

（17）解：分解。

（18）其：他家的。

（19） 堂：門。

（20）株：棵。

（21）遂：於是。

句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:

1、翌日就截之：第二天就準備截斷它。

2、狀如火然：形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。

3、樹木同株，聞將分斫，故憔悴，是人不如木也：樹本來是同根的，聽到要砍斷分開，所以枯死了，我們人都不如樹木。

4、樹應聲榮茂：紫荊樹聽到（田真的）話後（立刻）枝葉繁茂（了起來）。

My attempt at an English TL:

In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."

Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.

From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:

Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.

Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.

Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.

OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.

Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.

Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」， you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」

This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.

In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.

Suo and Sappanwood:

Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.

The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.

The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.

Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.

This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...

That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?

4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃

Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).

Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.

Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)

"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man

"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)

"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?

"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.

"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...

"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.

To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!

What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.

The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia

Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.

What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:

Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.

If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.

"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).

"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.

"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.

[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]

"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."

Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.

I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.

The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:

Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山 丁子) = rabbit

Togame Jo (十亀 条) = tortoise

Sako Kouta (佐狐 浩太) = fox

Arima Yukinari (有馬 雪成) = horse

Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼 稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫

(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)

Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊 登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).

Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.

*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh

Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.

Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.

(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)

The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.

It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.

(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)

I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.

Here's some prominent stuff I found:

Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!

Thus Spoke Zarathustra:

An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]

“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.

This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:

It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.

There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:

People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.

From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):

Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.

I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.

Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.

From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.

It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:

I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.

This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:

This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.

And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:

[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.

Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)

5. Final Closing Notes on Suo

So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?

... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.

Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)

u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣，相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.

Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?

Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):

I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg

My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.

6. I Lied

Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.

So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:

AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke

This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端！

...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?

(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.

I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.

Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭

CLASSICAL CHINESE 101

仁：This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷，尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' （君子）in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.

義：this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.

禮：this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.

智：this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.

信：this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.

(Additional) 孝：this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.

To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."

But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.

There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):

惻隱之心：read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.

是非之心：read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.

羞惡之心：read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).

辭讓之心：read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.

There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends

Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:

(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy

(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.

(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.

(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ)，whereas yì is your outward action.

(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.

So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?

(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.

If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).

When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.

You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")

Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:

5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.

^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?

It doesn't end here though...!!!

KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?

What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'

(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)

This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.

Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.

It's still not over though!

Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:

"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment

How self-centered:

顏淵問仁。子曰：「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮，天下歸仁焉。為仁由己，而由人乎哉？」 [1] 顏淵曰：「請問其目。」子曰：「非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰：「回雖不敏，請事斯語矣。」（《顏淵》第十二）

(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)

[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"

[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."

Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.

To teach others [...]:

"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"

"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]

Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...

Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.

Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"

(He's pissed.)

Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.

And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).

For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.

Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:

子曰：「君子病無能焉，不病人之不己知也。」（《衞靈公》第十五）

“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”

子曰：「君子不重則不威；學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改 。」（《學而》第一）

"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."

Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"

"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.

From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.

There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:

“魚，我所欲也，熊掌，亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼， 舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也，義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼， 舍生而取義者也。

"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.

生亦我所欲，所欲有甚於生者，故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡，所惡有甚於死者， 故患有所不辟也。 如使人之所欲莫甚於生，則凡可以得生者，何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者，則凡可以辟患者，何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也，由是則可以辟患而有不為 也，是故所欲有甚於生者，所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也，人皆有之，賢者能勿喪耳。

Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.

Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.

一簞食，一豆羹，得之則生，弗得則死 。

A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.

嘑爾而與之，行道之人 弗受;��爾而與之，乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。

Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.

萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不 受，今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為 身死而不受，今為所識窮乏者得我而為之，是亦不可以已乎?此之謂 失其本心。"

What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."

A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.

It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.

To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.

But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.

Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.

Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).

Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)

A possible timeline:

-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.

-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona

-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)

-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them

-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.

...

And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.

It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.

What's up next in Part 2?

I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.

I'll be back in 1 business century!

(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:

Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef

Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS

Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun

Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...

Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc

Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent

Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)

Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)

Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur

Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU

"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024

Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up

Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn

Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎

—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3：57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.

"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024

The Suo Post's TLDR:

"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"

—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.

(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)

[adviceformefromme]

💖 NUTRITION & WELLBEING EDITION - 10 WEEKS UNTIL 2025 - GLOW UP SERIES [WEEK 10] - 💖

So we’re 10 weeks till 2025, the new year is fast approaching, your energy levels are in the gutter and despite mentally wanting to change your life there’s just something keeping you stuck. You wake up and it’s the same story different day, tired, hungry, moody as hell.

While you might mentally want to change your life, your body needs to be on board and to do that it’s gona need the right foods, drinks and nutrients to have you functioning at your optimal level. Taking drastic action when it comes to changing your diet is how you’re going to see drastic results in your energy levels, productivity and overall wellbeing… 

The foundations: 

🛌 SLEEP: All those late night movies before bed, Netflix and chill, love-is-blind binging needs to stop immediately. You need a set bed time and you need to be consistent. Waking up and going to sleep at the exact same time every single day. I recommend 10pm - 6am or somewhere around there. 

🥱 Sleep with your mouth closed. Use mouth strips from amazon if you dribble, snore, or struggle to sleep properly - breathing through your mouth is most likely the culprit. It’s not natural and disturbs natures rhythm which is breathing through your nose. Mouth strips have been a game changer for me, and highly recommended. 

🚫 No screen before bed. This is obvious but those doom scrolling morning and nights are over. Switch it off, read a book, pray, meditate, do what you need to. This is about resting your body before bed so you can sleep well and function at your best the next day. 

Sleep supplements: Magnesium oil spray or tablets before bed 

🍴 FOODS & DRINKS: 2 litres water MINIMUM per day. Absolutely no alcohol for the next 10 weeks. Strict diet of vegetables, fruits, protein and healthy fats, high quality meats and fish. More herbs into your food. Seeds, whole grains such as Chia, Flaxseed, Pumpkin seed, Bulgar wheat. More pre-and-probiotics. Sprouted veggies. Snack on nuts. No sweets, no cakes, no carbs. No bread, no pasta, no rice, no gluten. No nothing that is not a whole food, or from the earth. You are your own doctor when it comes to food, so you will know what is best for you. Above is the closest diet to nature and has changed my life. Eating vegetables in season. Removing western foods, removing vegetable oil, only drinking structured water, herb teas, and freshly pressed veg juices. Changing your diet might mean you stop eating out, you cut the takeouts, you spend your evenings researching meal preps for Keto, or healthy diet. Your life will completely change when you start feeding your body ALIVE foods, instead of nutrient deficient, processed food that keeps you craving more. Yes you are going against the grain. You will be the minority, but what are the alternatives? Stay binging? Stay eating crap? Stay feeling crap? 

Supplements: 

Chronium, Berberine for support with blood sugar 

D3 + K2, B12, Vitamin C 1000mg, Turmeric, Probiotics, 

DIM, Milk Thistle, Selenium, Iodine Drops, Omega 3, Mega GLA for women’s health.

Other: 

Get full blood panel done to see any deficiencies 

Invest in a continuous glucose monitor from Amazon - see how your body is responding to foods you are eating in real time. 

🏃🏽‍♀️EXERCISE: There is no way around this. You need to do some fucking exercise. Even if you start with 10k steps per day. Just do it. Once you’ve switched up your diet you absolutely WILL have more energy. Join a gym, set the intention, put reminders on your phone affirming you ARE someone whoo does exercise and works out. Leave your gym clothes out before bed. Set yourself up to win. Find a friend or someone to work out with. Look on YouTube for a workout if the gym is not possible. Just try your best. This is a mind over matter. ~You got this. 

🧘🏽‍♀️ Finally…STRESS FREE LIVING…

You can eat all the healthy foods, do your 10k steps but if you are involved in a stressful life, those stress hormones are going to come and f**k shit up. You have to remove stress where possible. This is the NUMBER one health destroyer. Stress literally makes is ill. It depletes your energy, exhausts you, and keeps you in survival - not much different to the animals living in the wild. Your life can be so stress free once you realise you are actually in control of a lot more than you realise. Blocking HIM. Saying no to hanging out with HER. Hanging up the phone. Removing yourself from the drama. Quitting your job. Changing your course. Deleting social media. Switching off the news permanently. Distancing yourself. There is SO much you can do to remove stress. But it’s completely on you. You have to take control if you are serious about changing your life. 

That’s all for this week! Next week more advice on your pre-2025 glow-up.

[lilislegacy]

Percy doing a little bit (or a lot) of everything

i know everyone won’t agree with this future for him, but humor me

percy in college figuring out that he doesn’t want to be stuck in a lab, but he wants to make a difference. he can talk to animals. he wants to use that ability for good. he wants to help animals in some way

percy wanting to become a veterinarian for aquatic animals. he doubts himself, becasue it takes someone smart and hard-working, but annabeth has full faith in him. and he finds he actually really likes learning about how sea animals function, and how to help them. once he’s a vet, he knows he made the right choice. he loves going to work every day, wherever that is. an aquarium, a marine clinic, the ocean, it doesn’t matter. he listens to the animals and helps them in a way that no other vet on earth can. his co-workers call him the animal whisperer. (which he finds funny, because he’s not whispering, just having a normal semi-telepathic conversation)

while he’s preparing for vet school, percy has an experience that makes him begin to take notice of people and animals dying in fires. he figures “i’m fire resistant. i can control water. im strong. i think quick on my feet… i can help.” so throughout vet school, he’s a firefighter. he loves it. he gets to save people every day. he gets action. he thrives. he saves so many lives. he even takes ownership of the fire house’s new dog - a dalmatian-shepherd mix. he says it’s just for a bit, but the dog ends up as his and annabeth’s family pet (which annabeth totally knew would happen). but he loves being a firefighter. it makes him feel like he’s using his abilities to help people, not just kill endless amounts of monsters. he actually feels like a real hero this way.

percy becoming certified as a professional diver so he can do deep sea rescues, for animals mainly, but he ends up doing human rescues too. in tragedies like the thai cave rescue, he’s there. he’s the pro diver on call for an emergency - human or animal related. he’ll dive any depth to save a life. he’ll even just do it to help researchers, or historians, or anyone, really. and he never charges much, if anything at all.

percy volunteering as a marine wildlife rescuer. he’ll answer a call, day or night. he’ll help get a shark off the beach, cut rope off of a whale, save sea turtles caught in a net. it doesn’t matter, he’s there. and it’s nothing new for him.

percy maybe even writhing a book or two over the course of his life.

percy going on some boat expeditions, which he always leads.

percy maybe even one day teaching, when he’s older and his kids are grown. whether it’s 12 year olds with dyslexia or whether he’s teaching a college class on aquatic animals or greek history. he’d be good at it. he’s patient.

percy doing multiple great things throughout his life. percy using his experiences and abilities for good. percy not letting his past - being kicked out of every school, making bad grades, being thought of as stupid - define him. not letting his past stop him.

percy doing a little bit (or a lot) of everything. becasue he can. becasue he’s alive. becasue he’s talented. becasue he’s intelligent. and because he has a huge heart.

and he has the most supportive partner in the whole world.

percy thriving in life.

[uhohnotthisagain]

My Everything- Dean Winchester

Summary: Dean’s anger gets the best of him.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, verbal fighting, mentions of death (no actual death is included), sad Dean, sad reader, happy ending

Word count: 1.2k

My Masterlist

“I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.” Dean says, sitting on the edge of your shared bed, rubbing his face with his hands.

You look at him with shock. “What? What do you mean?” The two of you had been fighting for the last 2 hours. You had made a decision on a hunt that had put you in danger, saving Dean from the witch in the process.

“This. Putting up with all this stupidity. It’s infuriating.”

“Are you actually serious? I saved you from that witch. You’d be dead if I hadn’t done what I did.”

“No, I wouldn’t be. I would’ve been fine. But throwing yourself into the fire was a stupid decision. If I hadn’t reacted fast enough, YOU would be dead.” He points at you as he speaks, the look of absolute anger on his face.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve done something stupid on a hunt, and if it keeps going, then who knows what will happen. Maybe I could be killed.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I’m done. This is over.”

“You don’t really mean that.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“No, I do, I’m done. Get out.” He’s turned away from you, looking at something on his laptop at his desk.

Tears sit at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill. He didn’t turn to look at you, refusing to face you.

“Fine.”

–

You let out small sobs, curling into yourself. You were lying on the bed in your old room. It was yours when you first moved into the bunker, but when you and Dean started dating and spending every night together, you stopped sleeping in the room. It wasn’t long before you moved all your stuff to Dean’s, making this room feel foreign and empty. Cold.

You eventually fell asleep, tears staining your cheeks.

–

Dean didn’t sleep at all. He spent the whole night either hunched over his laptop, distracting himself with research, or staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t want you to leave, he wanted you back. All he could focus on during the fight was his anger towards your decisions. He didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t lose you. And putting yourself at risk meant that he couldn’t protect you as easily, making him more scared that he would lose yet another loved one.

He felt so useless during hunts. He knew you could make your own decisions. Smart ones too. But you also made decisions that would save Dean, and Dean didn’t want that.

Dean got up at 6:30, deciding to get ready for the day and search for another potential hunt to distract himself with.

It was at 10:30 when he realised you hadn’t gotten up yet. Sam was already up, having gone for a run and now researching with Dean. You always were an early riser.

Dean went searching, hoping you were in the bunker and hadn’t left in the middle of the night. He passed the kitchen, not seeing you sipping on a coffee that you usually did. He passed your shared room before stopping at your old one.

He listened to see if he could hear you, but what he heard broke his heart. He could hear your muffled sobs.

You had woken up not long after falling asleep, struggling to stay asleep without Dean next to you. The both of you relied on one another to have nightmare-free sleep, and it had become such a habit that when separated it felt impossible to function.

When you woke up, you quickly recalled why you were back in your old room, breaking your heart all over again. You struggled to keep the tears at bay. You felt guilty, but you weren’t sure why. You were upset that you couldn’t convince Dean that you knew what you were doing. Angry that he wouldn’t listen to you. Broken that he had kicked you out without letting you speak.

A soft knock disrupted your thoughts. You looked towards the door, hoping that if you kept silent, whoever was at the door would leave.

“Y/N? I know you’re in there.” Dean’s voice was soft, it’s what usually kept you calm, but this time, it was making your heart race. “Y/N? Please, sweetheart. Let me in.” He knocked again.

You considered hiding under your duvet but decided against that. Instead, you stood up and opened the door.

“Oh, Sweetheart, thank god. I’m so-” You walked passed him, brushing against him but you didn’t make eye contact. You walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a mug and pouring yourself some coffee before sitting at the bench, staring at the dark liquid in your mug.

“Sweetheart? Y/n? Please talk to me. I’m so sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” You didn’t turn around. “Please. I miss your voice. Talk to me. Scream at me. Yell. Throw things. I don’t care. I just need you to talk to me.” You said nothing.

“Okay, if you won’t talk then at least hear me out? I’m sorry honey. I really am. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I shouldn’t have said those things.” Dean walked around to the other side of the bench to face you, but you didn’t look up at him. “You have every right to be upset with me. I know you can hold you’re own. I know you’re capable of looking after yourself, fighting the things we hunt for. You’re so talented and strong. It’s just- I’m scared, okay? I said it. I can’t save you. I can’t protect you. And it has nothing to do with you’re abilities. I’m just so scared to lose you. What if something gets you? What if something is just that much stronger that you can’t fight it. I can’t lose you. I need you.” Dean’s holding your hands, causing you to look up slightly.

“I can’t sleep without you. I can barely survive if you’re not there. I can’t breathe. You’re my everything, and if I lose you, then I have nothing. So forgive me for trying to protect you, but knowing you’re safe means everything.”

You look up at Dean, sighing before opening your mouth. “Have you considered that you’re my everything? That if I lose you then I would lose myself? I love you so much, and I would do anything to keep you safe.” Your voice wobbled as tears filled your eyes again. “You can be so reckless on hunts. God knows how many times I have had to clean up you’re injuries, sew you up, bandage you up. Of course, I would do it again but if you keep risking your life, then one day you’re going to lose it. And then what happens to me? I would die if I lost you.”

Dean walks around to you, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t consider how much I meant to you. I’ll try and be better. I’ll make better decisions, I’ll try to be safe. If you do. You need to not put your life on the line all the time to save me.” Your arms wrap around him.

“Yeah, okay. I’m sorry too.” He smiles before pressing a kiss to your lips.

[dangerousduckcloud]

Flowerbeds make up for a nice eternal rest

Read it also on AO3

Tears were dampening the blanket you didn’t remember covering yourself with, a hitch on your breath that turned into sobbing. Yesterday you hadn’t reacted at all, a part of you hoping this was some game show you’d been dragged to. Today, you now knew were kidnapped by the weirdest people whom you still didn’t know what they wanted to do to you.

Chapter 2 < > Chapter 4

taglist: @kurai-hono-blog

The exhaustion of the whole day had started to take its toll on you; no matter how much your body wanted to lay down on the flat weight bench you were sitting on in the training area —or drag yourself all the way to the beds in the medbay— you forced yourself to keep awake.

So far, they hadn’t tried to do anything to you, sometimes so caught up in whatever they were researching for in the computer that they wouldn’t even spare a glance towards you. You’re sure they probably even forgot about your existence for a whole hour. A whole hour you could’ve used to catch up in some sleep.

But you didn’t want to give them the chance to hurt you so easily. The tight suits didn’t hide much, specially Nigthwing’s, so anyone who saw him for a second could notice he was someone who exercised regularly.

Red Robin’s suit wasn’t as tight as Dick’s, the material sturdier around the torso and the legs, but his bare arms were the arms of someone who could lift heavy weights.

The two combined, your chances of fighting your way out were slim, probably non-existent.

If you didn’t have something to defend yourself with, of course. When they’d become too engrossed on the functions of the weapon, you casually strode inside the medbay, grabbing another bottle of water and slowly drinking from it.

Once both had their backs towards you, you quickly stored a scalpel on your hoodie’s pocket, hoping you wouldn’t need it.

They were probably the most chill and/or stupid kidnappers you’ve ever heard off, as they hadn’t even thought to tie you up and throw you into what seemed to be a holding cell of some sort. Had they forgotten to do that, or was it just for decoration?

Either way, you weren’t complaining.

But now you were frazzled and bored out of your mind, slightly pinching the tip of the scalpel every second or so to keep you up, but not strong enough to hurt your thumb.

Had anyone even noticed your disappearance? It had been… Seven, eight hours since you woke up on the floor? And how long were you passed out before that? There was no one waiting for you home, not even a cat, right now regretting moving from your hometown to start anew.

With a day off tomorrow —or was it today, already?— and no plans to go out during the weekend, it was likely people wouldn’t notice your abduction until Monday when you didn’t turned up for work.

Two whole days and no one would notice.

You chose to pretend the tear drop making its way down your cheek had appeared from your continuous yawning and nothing else.

“Yeah, but the coordinates were the same as here, however there’s this number—” A loud crash woke you up and cut off Tim’s sentence. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” The sleep had overcome you, your body bit by bit nodding off until you hit the dumbbell rack, knocking the less heavy ones. “I tripped.”

“You tripped.” Dick said, expressionless. “While sitting.”

“I can be quite clumsy.”

“Jane, if you’re tired, you’re free to sleep on one of the beds.” Dick mentioned, his right hand directed towards them.

“I’m alright, I—”

“You’re safe here.” And that blasted smile again confused your sleep-clouded mind, a part of you wanted to trust him, but this was all so weird there was no way they didn’t want to do anything to you. “I promise.”

But they’d also been acting nice to you, like true vigilantes trying to help a civilian in need. And you still didn’t know what they would do if you stopped playing their game. So, with a lackluster nod, you laid down on the bed, fighting the sleep once you heard hushed voices.

“She’s weird.” Tim whispered.

“What?”

“She’s so…” Silence for a couple of seconds, most likely the boy trying to find the right words. “Composed. I don’t get it. She’s not acting like someone who got dragged to another universe.”

“It happens sometimes. When people suffer something traumatic, they go into shock, sometimes not registering what’s going on, and acting as if all is well. Take it as… As if she’s on autopilot.”

A low hum was heard, the tinkering of tools acting as white noise to help you sleep. “But still, the way she looks at us… Don’t you feel as if she’s hiding something? Could she be related to whatever those people did to B?”

“I don’t know, baby bird.” With a doleful voice, Dick replied, noting the weight of the world on his shoulders at the man remembering the disappearance of his ‘father’. “We’ll find out. But we must get her someplace else, she can’t stay here. Maybe we could…”

With heavy eyelids dropping, you couldn’t hear what he was thinking on doing. Maybe you should’ve tried your best to stay up, to learn if they were a threat to you, but you were too jaded to even care at this point.

_____

You promised yourself last week would’ve been the last time you’d be up all-night reading. Of course, like most vows as this one, you did it again this week, going so far that you even had the most conscious dream about being in the batcave.

It was a good dream though, you’ll admit. Maybe you could try and turn it into a fanfic of your own.

With a lazy hand fishing around for your phone on the nightstand, you forced one eye opened when no matter how high your hand went up you couldn’t even feel the edge of the bedside table. That was because there wasn’t any furniture next to you, instead what resembled a hospital bed a meter away from you.

Did something happen to you?

“You’re awake.”  Startled, you turned around towards the voice, the same masked guy from your dreams standing in front of you, a food tray on his hands, and a sheepish smile on his face. “I brought you some food. Sometimes it’s easy to forget normal people eat three times a day.”

“It… wasn’t a dream?”

“No, I’m sorry.”  Dick’s smile turned feeble, dragging a wheeled metal table to put down the food tray. “But I promise we’re doing everything we can to get you back home.”

Tears were dampening the blanket you didn’t remember covering yourself with, a hitch on your breath that turned into sobbing. Yesterday you hadn’t reacted at all, a part of you hoping this was some game show you’d been dragged to.

Today, you now knew were kidnapped by the weirdest people whom you still didn’t know what they wanted to do to you.

The scalpel still hidden on your pocket felt heavy with every breath, would it be wise to use it right now? There was no sign of Tim anywhere, and even though you hadn’t seen any of them use the hidden door that should lead to Bruce’s study in the manor, there had to be a way out of here.

As inconspicuous as you could, you hand wandered over the blanket until it disappeared inside the pocket, fingers hovering over the handle.

“Jane?” The soft voice brought you to your senses, white lenses looking at you, gloved hands moving up and down your arms, hands that your mind wanted far away, but your body needed them there, closer. “I know, I know. But it’s going to be alright, you have my word.”

He was so close, unaware of your arms, so focused on your face he wouldn’t notice if you stabbed him on the back.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Why don’t you eat? There’s something I need to tell you.” He pulled away, taking with him your opportunity to escape. However, all thoughts disappeared once he plucked the lid over the tray, the wonderful smell invading your nose, a plate of pasta and meat waiting for you. “It’s vegan meat. You looked tired and we didn’t want to wake you up, so we went for the safest option. My youngest brother doesn’t eat meat, so most of our meals are made with this. I can attest it’s good, in case you’re not vegan.”

Your stomach rumbled, and so you took a bite, relishing on the flavors and the seasoning used on the food. Was this Alfred’s legendary cooking?

Of course not, Alfred didn’t exist.

“I don’t think you wanted to tell me about your brother.” With a croaky voice, you spoke after several bites. Dick chuckled, sitting on a wheeled chair.

“You’re right.” He had his elbows resting on his knees, a hand covering his mouth. He kept looking to your left, mulling over his words. “You can’t stay here”

The pasta curled around the fork dropped to the plate at your sudden stop, cutlery halfway to your mouth.

“What?”

“The cave is not the safest place for a civilian to be. Not to mention the lack of privacy.”

You couldn’t argue against that, the only shower here was in a locker room, a simple curtain shielding you from wandering eyes, you didn’t accept Dick’s offer at a shower after seeing it, now feeling uncomfortable with the grime accumulating on you.

“Where… Where would I go?”

“We have… A friend, his name is Bruce Wayne, he can take you in while we sort this out. He has a daughter around your age, she could bring a sense of normalcy during this time.”

With the way he’s talking about ‘Bruce’, you doubt he’ll just walk you up the stairs into the manor, so they’ll have to take you out the cave to get there, giving you another opportunity to escape.

“He’ll just… Let me stay there?” You kept up the game. “For no reason?”

“He has a history of taking in strays” He said with a fond smile. “He’s always available to help people.”

Something didn’t seem right to you. If they believed you were from some other universe, why bother with trying to protect Bruce’s identity? If they believed you were from some other universe, you shouldn’t even know who he was. If he’s ‘gone’, there’s no point on telling you about some guy you’ll never get to meet.

“Shouldn’t…” You lick your lips, what you were about to say next could turn things ugly. Make them show their true selves. “Isn’t this something the police should deal with?”

Eyes frowning, smile dropping, stance rigid, tension around you both; that’s what you were expecting to happen, but he only scratched his nose, unbothered.

“They’re not the most prepared to deal with this kind of things. You know, otherworldly stuff.” You sighed, glad he didn’t turn violent; however, he must’ve mistaken it for hopelessness. “But I can assure you, we know what we’re doing.”

“How will we get there? To Mr. Wayne’s house.”

“That’s the best part.” He stood up, and with a move of his chin asked you to follow him.

Out the medbay and into a circular platform from which you couldn’t see anything due to being extremely dark, Dick walked to a wall, flipping up a switch, turning on the lights overhead the platform.

And under the lights as if in a museum display, was the batmobile.

[sunflowersandcherryblossoms]

@quiterambunctious

You asked about the Reishi Pod concept.

I didn't want to make the other post even longer, so here it is...

Me and @mondengel2 had discussed how Byakuya and Ichigo could have kids without falling into the Mpreg trope.

We discussed each of our headcanons for how many kids and their names, and amidst this conversation, the Reishi Pod concept first appeared as an idea.

Mondengel ended up writing a ficlet on that Tumblr post which used the same concept but slightly different construction of pod.

When I begun writing My Dream Has Your Eyes I used that concept as a piece of machinery used exclusively by the Great Noble Houses.

The Reishi Pod is what would eventually spark the Artificial Souls development, with Kirio Hikifune basing her research on them but tweaking it a bit so that they could only develop the Artificial Souls' pills as we know them. Not complete living beings.

The pod itself is a type of reinforced glass, a translucent shield over it and finally a metal shield that encases everything, keeping the pod safe.

It has a dashboard attached with collecting spheres, in which the Reishi donors (aka the parents.) will set their hands on and the machine itself collects the right amount of Reishi from both of them.

There's four Reishi collecting processes per day and although it can be stopped at the seventh month, it's advisable to do so until the very end to prevent any issues with the baby.

It takes about one whole month for the Reishi to fully aggregate and form a fetus, a placenta that holds to the top of the Pod and, of course, the umbilical cord.

Some of the Reishi floats around the baby like amniotic liquid does in a biological pregnancy.

The Reishi Pod can only be used by two people. It will not function with only one person to prevent the Heads of the Clans to simply go on producing what's basically a clone of themselves.

The gender of the parents does not influence the gender of the child, since the Reishi itself can randomly create a boy or a girl, regardless...

The whole process need surveillance from a qualified member of the Fourth squad.

So, yeah... That's basically it.

[actuallyadhd]

hello! i just saw your recent post about procrastination as a learned behavior and had a "....oh." moment after doing a bit of research. i thought things would be fixed when i got on meds, and they weren't. i started realizing that the reason i confused executive dysfunction and procrastination was because dysfunction made me start to think "well, i know i'm not going to get this done, so i might as well not try" and i started pushing things to the side. this felt a lot better short term, but it's not sustainable. i'm stressed all the time, and double stressed because i can't figure out how to stop.

i've been trying to figure out a way to get myself to just do things, but i don't know how, and knowing that it's a learned behavior helps me a lot, because now i know it's possible to unlearn it. do you have any advice? thank you.

Sent October 4, 2023

I'm so glad this helped you reframe your procrastination! I know how much it can help to realize that it might be possible to change things that feel impossible to change.

There are a number of different ways to deal with procrastination. I just learned a new method that I'm going to try, called the "Solve-It Grid", that has you categorize the things you need to do based on how they make you feel. What I like about this method is that it emphasizes how much ADHDers rely on how we feel to get us through the day, and it can help us get things done by getting us to consider how we feel and how the tasks will make us feel. The idea is that if we match our tasks to how we feel, things will be easier overall.

I linked above to the article on ADDitude about it, but I actually first heard about it on YouTube, via the channel Minimalist Home (link to video). I've been trying to use the TickTick app on my phone, but I find it really anxiety-inducing to have all these scheduled tasks telling me I didn't do them.

TickTick has an Eisenhower Matrix section, and I'd tried personalizing it using a slightly different method from the usual, but it wasn't quite as helpful as I'd hoped due to the due date issue. So now I've redone it and changed the requirements for each quadrant based on the Solve-It Grid. I'll try to remember to update you on how it's working out. (If you decide to try TickTick and would like help personalizing the Eisenhower Matrix section like I did, let me know and I'll see if I can make a video showing how.)

Several years ago, I read the book The Procrastination Equation, by Piers Steel. It was really good and had lots of interesting information in it. He talks about the different reasons people procrastinate and how to deal with each reason. He never hits on the whole executive dysfunction/ADHD part of it that affects us, but I found that if I applied his methods half the battle was done. As in, the ADHD part was still an issue, but the non-ADHD part was dealt with. Because as much as we all like to pretend that ADHD is the problem, the fact is that we aren't just ADHD. We have lots of other stuff going on in our heads, and those impact our functioning as well. I took loads of notes and am happy to share what I learned in a dedicated post if people are interested. (I thought I might have posted it already but I can't find it, and my notes are on my personal LJ so I can copy them over easy.)

-J

[maraschinomerry]

Hi! Ive really enjoyed your Lockwood and Co fic’s so far, especially how you incorporate gn-readers! As for a prompt to give: A George Karin X GN Reader fic where George works himself sick on researching a case and no one else really notices he’s sick other than Reader, and Reader makes him stop and takes care of him for the night. A quote to go along with this maybe: “No one ever cared about me like you.” There’s really not enough George fics out there, so thank you for rectifying that!

Chicken Soup

Pairings: George Karim x gn!reader

Content: literally just 99% fluff, the other 1% is reader misunderstanding when George tries to confess his feelings

A/N: this fic takes me to less than 1000 words off having posted 30,000 words in 4 weeks 🤯 will have to see if I can post another later!

Word count: 2.1k

Taglist: @neewtmas @marinalor @ettadear

George looked tired.

He usually looked at least a little worn out, so you weren't overly surprised, but this time it was more distinctive. Plus, his exhaustion was always paradoxically frantic, brought about by rushing to prepare for a case that needed solving yesterday, but this time Lockwood had specifically said nobody was going anywhere near the site until you and George were confident there was no more research to be done. You'd hoped that would mean George would take his time, but it seemed his brain had forgotten how to function in any way that wasn't cramming 3 days' worth of research into 3 hours.

"Let's call it a day," you prompted. The two of you had been glued to your seats around a stack of papers in the Archives all day and your back was getting horrendously stiff. George couldn't be faring much better, hunched so far over his book he practically disappeared into his orange plaid shirt.

"You head back, I just need a bit longer to finish off," he replied, not even glancing up. Under normal circumstances, you'd be able to use his frustration at the impossible deadline to lure him away, but what on earth were you supposed to say when it was self-inflicted?

"Are you sure? Lockwood did say to take as long as we need, so it can wait until morning."

George looked up then, only to shake his head. You knew what he was thinking: by tomorrow, the book he needed could have been borrowed by someone else; by tomorrow, Kipps' crew could have swanned in and solved the whole case; by tomorrow, there may not be anyone at the site left to employ them. You sighed.

"Sorry, I know it's a pain. Will you be okay getting home alone?" Trust him to be worrying about you when you were worrying about him. You assured him you'd be fine, and promised to have a cup of tea ready when he got home.

"You're the best," he said with a weary smile. Secretly he didn't want you to leave, he enjoyed your company, but it was unfair to make you stay just because he wanted to. As you walked away, you heard him sniff, which built into a sneeze. Hmm.

—

Less than ten minutes after you returned to Portland Row, the heavens opened. Rain hammered against the front door like it was begging to be let in, and wind whistled through every corner it could find from the attic downwards. 

You, Lucy and Lockwood sat around the dining table, soaking in every ounce of the warmth that seeped from the oven while dinner cooked (a steak pie you'd made when you got back, to distract yourself from the anxious knot in your stomach).

"How did it go at the Archives?" Lucy asked over a steaming cup of coffee.

"We're making progress, but I'm worried George is overworking himself."

Lockwood gave a wry chuckle. "Trust me, if George has a limit, I haven't seen him hit it in all the time I've known him."

That wasn't overly convincing - having bursts of intense hard work followed by a couple of days to recover was one thing, but working flat out for this long was another, especially when you knew from hearing the way the house shifted that he hadn't been sleeping.

"He was sneezing when I left," you pointed out. If Lockwood knew him so well, he'd know he wasn't much of a sneezer, even in the height of pollen season.

"This case dates back decades," Lucy countered. "Imagine how much dust is on some of those files." Just thinking about it made her nose crinkle. You could only hope they were both right.

—

A long-cold cup of tea and the remaining quarter of the pie awaited George when he returned, the last embers of daylight being snuffed out by the heavy rainclouds above. The second the key rattled in the front door, you sprang from where you'd been falling asleep on the Thinking Cloth and clicked the kettle on.

"You didn't wait up for me, did you?" George croaked from the kitchen doorway. Something had happened to his voice in the hours since you'd left him.

"I promised you tea!" As you turned in mock outrage you noticed something else wrong. He was shivering and pale. Instinctively, you stepped closer, brushing a hand across the droplets on his shoulders and spotting more in his hair. Had he walked home in this weather? No. There wasn't enough water for that. This was just from the cab to the door. He wasn't shivering from the cold. You suddenly remembered the sneeze earlier.

George was ill.

This was a disaster, and it was all your fault. You should have forced him to come home with you. Should have noticed sooner and never let him out today in the first place.

"Oh Georgie," you murmured, almost as much to yourself as him. "Give me one minute with that tea and then you need to get to bed."

"I'm f-fine," he stammered around chattering teeth. "It's nothing."

As if he'd been summoned as backup, Lockwood sauntered in on his way to the basement. "Glad to see you missed the rain," he joked. George gave another sneeze, a spray of said rain flying from his curls with the force of it. "Bathroom's free if you want a bath to warm up." Misguided as Lockwood was in his reason for the advice, it wasn't a bad idea actually.

"I'm just heading up," you shot him a grateful look before George could object, "I can set it running." Lockwood grinned and disappeared. Today was not one of his observant days, it seemed.

"I can run my own bath," George grumbled, still in the doorway, but his cheeks flushed a little and he made no move to stop you. Probably because his hands were shaking so much he would have struggled to even turn the taps. You took his freshly brewed tea in one hand and his arm in the other and guided him to the library to cosy up until the bath was ready.

—

Half an hour later, you were debating whether to go and make sure George hadn't fallen asleep in the tub when he emerged. His dark curls were damp yet fluffy from the towel, a slight glow had returned to his skin and he was dressed in the clean pyjamas you'd looked out for him. He frowned at you as best his tired muscles would allow, pondering the fact you'd clearly spent the entire time sitting on the bottom step outside the bathroom. Before he could comment, however, the warmth of the bath began to wear off and the tremble returned to his bones. You reached behind you and sheepishly held out a fuzzy forest green bundle.

"I, um… I couldn't find any of your jumpers, I think they're all in the wash, so you can borrow this one. It should fit."

George took hold of it and unfolded what turned out to be the softest hoodie he'd ever felt in his life. He wriggled into it, his one working nostril breathing in the way the smell of you lingered in the fabric. It was so comfy that he found himself burrowing into it, bringing it up under his chin and tucking his hands into the sleeves.

You caught yourself staring at him, marvelling over how he could look so adorable in such an unfortunate situation, and gave him a soft smile. "Better?"

He nodded and mumbled out a "thanks" which ended up somewhat drowned in the hoodie as he shuffled away. Halfway through his bedroom door, he stopped and turned back to you. "What's that?"

You went to see what he was referring to, hands on his shoulders to support yourself as you pressed close on tiptoes to peer past him. Suddenly very aware of how close you were, you focused your attention on the flask on his bedside table.

"Oh. It's chicken soup. I wasn't sure if you'd want it just yet, so I used a flask which should keep it warm for the next few hours."

If you hadn't been aware of how much you were in George's personal space before, you certainly were now as he practically melted against you.

"That's so thoughtful." He sounded shocked. Not at you being thoughtful towards him, at anyone being so. Unsure of what to say, you gave his shoulders a supportive squeeze and then used them to steer him towards his bed.

His room was a little chilly, so you checked that his window was properly closed before drawing the curtains. George, energy almost completely drained, flopped onto the bed. You helped him tuck his legs under the duvet,  bringing it up around his chest. He sniffled again, and without a word you nudged the box of tissues you'd found and set out for him. His eyes grew wide and incredulous, suddenly scrunching shut with another bout of sneezing.

"Do you need anything else?"

The sneezing paused. "I think I left my book in the library…"

"Georgie, no." Your voice became stern even as you used his nickname affectionately. "No more research until you're feeling better." He began to protest. "Think about it. The more you rest, the sooner you'll recover and the quicker you can get back to it." He couldn't argue with logic, and you both knew it.

You ended up fetching him a glass of water, some paracetamol and a couple of contraband biscuits. When you returned, you found him sipping the soup, and his face lit up at your last offering.

"You're too nice," he sighed, insisting on splitting the first biscuit with you. "I love you."

You almost choked on your half of the biscuit, bursting into a coughing fit you'd expect from the actual ill person in the room. George immediately rose from the pillows to pat your back as you tried to remember how to breathe. "Are you okay?" His hand stopped patting as your coughing subsided but it didn't leave your back, instead rubbing gentle circles.

"I…" you spluttered, finally dislodging the rogue crumb. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do! No one ever cared about me like you."

His words were kind, tender, yet your heart still sank. He'd just said it because you were looking after him. You couldn't believe you'd actually thought for a moment that he loved you. There was nothing more you wanted than for the ground to swallow you up, but when George kept talking you stayed and listened. "Lockwood and Lucy do so much for me, don't get me wrong, and my parents did their best, but I'd be lost without you. I mean, all this…" he gestured around at the flask, the hoodie, you still sitting on his bed,  "nobody else even noticed there was anything wrong. But you did. You see me, and I love you for it."

Tears welled in your eyes. You blinked them away, refusing to obscure your view of the beautiful boy beside you. His hand stilled on your back, twitching away, afraid he'd said the wrong thing. You leaned into his side, strengthening the touch. "I love you too."

His eyelids fluttered, a mixture of exhaustion and adoration. His free hand linked with yours. "Remind me to kiss you once I'm better."

"Why can't you kiss me now?"

"Because I'll make you ill, if I haven't already!"

"I'll take that risk." You leaned in.

"Nooo," he whined, a hand on your chest to keep you at a distance, "I'd feel bad. But lucky for you, I have a fantastic doctor, so I'll be better in no time."

"Oh yes, I hear they're exceptional and very committed. Now lie down."

George did as he was told, gasping at the rush of cold air as the duvet was lifted behind him. You eased yourself into the bed, legs tangling in his and pulling you closer until his back leant against your chest and your face was buried in his hair.

"What did I just say?!"

You shushed him. "It's fine, if I catch it you can look after me." You pressed a kiss to his temple as you reached over to click the lamp off. He groaned in the darkness.

"You're impossible."

"You love me, though."

His hand found yours again, bringing your arm to wrap round his stomach. Your fingers traced the warm, soft skin underneath the hem of your hoodie. He sighed contentedly, the rise and fall of your chest behind him lulling him closer to sleep. "I do."

You sneezed.

Damn it.

[eluxcastar]

Soft Dottore with his cold assistant 👀

── ୨୧：il dottore x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: observation in snezhnaya is always a pain, and it's not out of character for you to underestimate how thick a coat you'll need while outside during the winter

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, more soft dottore content, possibly ooc, I did not proofread a word of this but I noticed I wrote goat once instead of coat sorry if that happens again 😭

୨୧﹑words :: 1072

atp I don't think I can function without fluffy scenarios (send help) I wrote this while David Hobson was allowing Christmas to start with The Holy City (I don't even celebrate Christmas 💀) it's so late rn Merry Christmas Dottore nation ❤️

you hate these kinds of researching days, the dead middle of Snezhnayan winter when the Doctor decides there's an urgent sample he has to collect, something to study, today it's something he simply wants to observe - the functions of an automaton Sandrone had given him to play with. he certainly was fulfilling the 'fun' part of that equation, dragging you out at the break of dawn just to see how this machine works in snowy climates. in his own words, it is to go while the snow is still falling. the early morning hours would provide more time, he could be meticulous without the threat of time and the dastardly sun looming over his head threatening to melt all of his snow.

you expected to stay inside all day considering the cold, not even thinking to grab your good coat as you left home, and now you shiver under only the cover of a coat far too thin for the job. the sky is dark, no sun out to warm you even slightly. that's your only problem with the dark, finding it easy to navigate with Dottore only a few steps ahead of you brimming with confidence in where he's going. you should've known better than to think Dottore would be bothered by the cold. he isn't. he's pointing out things he can already picking up even when you weren't even at the spot he wants to test it.

you're not sure he can notice your shivering as you follow behind him. you wish you were with just about anyone else right about now, preferably one who wouldn't mind you standing close and cuddling up under their hopefully warm coat so that you could warm yourself right up with their body heat.

the Doctor would never allow such silly things, more importantly he'd scold you for your carelessness.

so you carry on until you reach the clearing, no less cold as when you first set out, though you have become somewhat numb to it. it doesn't help you at all. you sit down in a clear spot of snow while he sets his new toy down a small way away. he's fiddling away with that while you're fiddling with your coat, trying to find a way to cover all the cold spots where the air is making your skin prick with goosebumps. it's an impossible task.

your focus shifts at the sound of footsteps, the rustling of fabric coming from the same direction Dottore was in. you look up, thinking the Doctor must be coming to join you only to see him removing his coat. it takes you a moment to process the why and in that moment he's stopped right in front of you, coat bunched in his hands.

"Doctor--"

"You always forget to bring a proper coat." he places his coat over your shoulders, wrapping you quite snugly in it in fact, though you refrain from telling him that as you pull it taut around you in hopes of perhaps gleaning some extra warmth from it. it smells like him. it's like the warm hug you know you will never receive from him.

"Won't you be cold, Doctor?"

"You are on the verge of freezing to death. I'm surprised your teeth don't chatter." he says, a somewhat firm statement that shuts you up by pure accuracy as you didn't expect him to have noticed when you were tucked away just behind him the whole time. "For an assistant working toward the pursuit of knowledge, it makes me wonder how you don't ever learn."

there's a sense of embarrassment that settles in you as silence overwhelms the conversation, finding nothing that you could say in response that would disprove any of that-- inadvertently, you suppose that simply proves what he says. you don't learn. you bury your face in the fur lining of the collar. you recognise this coat as the one he wears to Harbinger meetings, as well as while he's out during the winters. it's quite a thick coat, you realise, perhaps explaining why he would take it out to what was only a field trip by comparison to your usual work.

you feel awkward as he takes a seat by your side, feeling cold in his place even when you're wrapped up in his coat and being practically insulated by it. his lack of covering is a lot more apparent now, sticking out like a sore thumb and it hits you that he likely knew the second he laid eyes on you in only a thin coat not made to withstand harsh winters that you were cold. it was obvious to you now.

as the minutes pass, you begin to realise you aren't staring at the automation like he instructed but at him, a wave of guilt overcoming you and you scoot closer to his side until you feel the warmth that radiates off of him as you part it to reach out for him.

"Doctor--"

"Are you still cold?" he remains unwavering in his focus on that machine, doing something you pay no mind to. whatever it is is mesmerising him, a state you've noticed happens most frequently when things work out, especially if they work out in a particularly interesting way. this looks like things are just working out though.

you shake your head, finding yourself easing back into the comfort his coat provides, "It's better," you add, "the wind isn't so bad."

you feel it again, the guilt that you felt taking his coat. it was the reason you had gotten closer at all. had he noticed that at all? you're hesitant to move again, wondering how-- if he would react if he was to catch you. knowing him he'd ignore it just to toy with you, even when he was watching you the whole time. he's distinctly mean in that way.

"Aren't you cold, Doctor?" you try to ask again, thinking he won't answer like last time. "We'll be out here for some time if it can keep that up." a brief glance to the automaton and you're not sure what exactly it's doing - likely the result of not looking at it for some time - but the way Dottore hums in agreement makes it sound as if he understands the sentiment. you make a good point it seems.

"We'll simply be forced to share it, since you didn't bring a coat of your own, silly little thing."

[shyvioletcat]

ROWAELIN MONTH: DAY 12

~ Meet Ugly / Meet Cute ~

Thank you so much for your patience with this one. I know it was eagerly awaited so I won’t keep you any longer.

The Sweetest Promise Masterlist

~~~~~

Aelin’s stomach grumbled, a reminder she should have eaten dinner at least an hour ago. But she was on a roll and she didn’t want to lose this flow, her empty stomach be damned. She had found a journal article on ‘hidden composers throughout history’ and she was busy dissecting it for her thesis. Four years ago at the age of twenty she had moved to Doranelle so she could study music at the city’s top university with a world renown music program. Aelin had loved just about every minute of it.

She was in her final year and was working hard on her thesis that would round out her entire course of study. The title of her thesis was The Female Impact on Classical Music. It was all that Aelin could think about, either awake or asleep. Researching, drafting and just trying to figure out how to use words took up most of her time these days. Then at night she woke up from dreams in a panic as she edited in her sleep. For the first three years of her course she had managed to work at a diner just outside campus in between and after classes, but it quickly became apparent that it wouldn’t last. Aelin didn’t know if she was in burnout or if the shift in brain function was just too much for her, either way once the new semester started it had only been weeks before she was handing in her notice. After that she had lived off her meagre savings until she figured out what she would do next.

Her savings were almost depleted and although she could go to her parents for help, she was determined to do this whole move to another continent for college and be self-sufficient thing by herself. Running back to mum and dad was too much for her pride to bear. They would give her whatever she needed and do it gladly. Aelin just didn’t want to feel like she had failed.

That was where Kaltain came in, a woman about Aelin’s age who lived across the hall. They had been passing pleasantries for months and weren’t quite friends but definitely more than acquaintances. One evening Aelin had been coming and Kaltain had been going, both stopping as they saw to the locks on their doors for different reasons.

“Date night?” Aelin had asked, noting the dress and the makeup and the heels. Aelin was a little jealous, she hadn’t been out in ages. She always loved an excuse to dress up.

Kaltain nodded. “Noodles? Again?”

Aelin sighed, looking down to where the five pack bundle of instant noodles could be seen poking out of her shopping bag. “I’m a girl on a budget, what can I say?”

Then Kaltain stopped, giving Aelin a curious look. “Did you know I’m being paid to go on this date?”

“Okay?” Aelin had no idea what she meant or why she was handing over this information.

“The amount of money I get from a single date is enough to feed me for a week and I don’t mean on shitty noodles.”

Kaltain went on to explain her situation. She’d set herself up with a reputable sugar baby website and app. People paid her for her time a few nights a week and all she had to do was turn up, smile and make conversation. If anything beyond that was requested she had the power to decline or approve, and there were various kinds of contracts supplied by the admin. It all sounded intriguing, but Aelin still held her reservations.

“And you don’t have to sleep with them?”

Kaltain shrugged a delicate shoulder. “That is entirely up to you. When I first started I just did a string of first dates until I got used to the whole process. And then when I got the hang of things or I liked a particular client, I changed things up.”

“Hmm,” Aelin hummed, considering everything she had just learned. As she crossed her arms the plastic rustled like a little reminder of what her alternative might be.

“If you want any help with your profile,” Kaltain sang over her shoulder leaving Aelin to decide on her own.

So, Aelin eventually deferred to Kaltain’s advice and taken the plunge. She spent days working on her profile and then it was a few more on top of that to publish it. What had held her back were all the assumptions that went with gaining the title of a ‘sugar baby’. If it got out, what would people think of her? What were the men coming into that situation expecting? Kaltain had assured her more than once that she didn’t actually have to sleep with the men and that she was in total control of what happened. Aelin could just take on the suggestion of going on a continuous string of first dates. That was what kept her resolve up and Aelin had hit post, connotations be damned.

That had been more than a week ago and she was still caught in a gut twisting anxiety of the unknown. Honestly, she found it a little insulting that it had taken her this long to get a hit. Humility had never been her strong suit, she knew she was beautiful and that alone should be a massive draw card. Maybe she’d have to ask for a very small loan from her parents with how things were going, one week for rent and groceries, that was all she would need.

Her stomach grumbled again, and Aelin was more than a little sad that this might just be her second helping of noodles for the day. Lunch and dinner, lucky her. She straightened, stretching her arms above her head to decompress her back. Her tiny kitchen was waiting for her when the phone beside her knee lit up. Aelin assumed that it was just some social media notification—but it wasn’t.

You’ve got a request, Sugar

“Oh, holy gods,” Aelin whispered, lifting her phone to her face. This was it, this meant someone wanted her company. For money.

Aelin unlocked her phone and opened the app just to see who this person might be. The first piece of information she was given was a name, Rowan Whitethorn. Not a bad start. She tapped through to his profile, he was a lawyer, lived in the city, his age was left blank—a little odd but apparently that was a subject some of the clients could get a bit touchy about. The final piece to the puzzle was his photo. Aelin touched the icon to make it bigger and—

“Oh.”

It was terrible quality. Like whoever this Rowan Whitethorn was had cropped his photo from a much smaller one. All she could distinguish was silver hair and his general facial features if she squinted. She grimaced and not at all pleased with her prospects. This looked likely to be some old guy wanting a pretty face to keep him company. It was only the hollow feeling in her stomach that prompted her to open the chat.

>> Hi, Rowan. How are you?

<< Great. How are you, Celaena?

>> Not too bad

<< Good to hear

Aelin was filing through small talk topics when the ellipses appeared, showing that this Rowan was typing away. She watched the tiny animation stop and start at least three times before a message finally appeared.

>> I’m just going to be direct. I need a date for a charity gala tomorrow night. I expect you saw that I’m a lawyer, I’m trying to land a client and a date is essential for that. It won’t be much more than following me around and smiling, and I’m willing to increase your proposed fee due to the last minute nature.

More dots and Aelin waited.

>> I understand if you decline. This was a last ditch effort for me.

<< Procrastinate, did you?

>> Seems that way.

For a moment Aelin sat on her bed and contemplated her options. This didn’t seem too bad. If she said yes she would be arm candy for some desperate old guy who couldn’t get a date on his own. It could be worse, so much worse. As far as a first round as a sugar baby went, this might just be a very easy introduction.

<< A charity gala? You said you’d let me charge for last minute inconvenience, what about wardrobe? I’m sorry but I’ve left all my ballgowns on another continent.

The reply was almost instantaneous.

>> Whatever you need. Say yes and I’ll transfer the funds right away.

Because now it was up to Aelin, she was the one with the power. She could ghost him or even go as far as blocking him, and never have to hear from Rowan Whitethorn again. Or, she could help an old codger out and get paid for it. It might be painfully boring, but at least she could get decent groceries and a pretty dress.

<< I suppose it’s a date, Mr Whitethorn

Aelin went back to her profile and confirmed the request. Her starting rate only sat at $350 because she had no reviews or anything yet, so she was hoping for maybe another hundred dollars or so for the “last minute fee” and for the dress. She waited, impatiently, for whatever notification was supposed to come next. Maybe he’d chicken out, or find someone better. Aelin doubted it, she was an absolute steal, she was beautiful and cheap.

The heralding ping echoed around the room and Aelin saw a tiny red bubble up in the menu corner. She followed the notification and it took her to the money page.

Please check your bank account for receiving of money transfer.

Heart pounding, Aelin did just that. She opened her banking app and there it was. $500

“Desperation did have a price,” Aelin said to herself with a smile.

Feeling accomplished and positively loaded, she decided that she could treat herself and order in tonight. And considering she had classes tomorrow she didn’t really have time to buy a dress for herself. There was another option, right across the hall. It might be wrong of her to pocket the dress money, but she assumed in the line of sugar baby work there were some blurred lines with minor ethics in this kind of trade. What the mysterious Mr Rowan Whitethorn didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Nearly 24 hours later was waiting outside her building in a dress she had borrowed from Kaltain, made up to the nines. She’d chosen a deep green velvet number. It hugged her curves, but not in an indecent way, and the draping cowl neckline showed just enough cleavage to spark the imagination. Aelin had swept her hair to the side in an old Hollywood style with red lips to match. She looked stunning and she’d made sure to take a few photos to add to her profile.

It wasn’t long before her Uber turned up, courtesy of her benefactor and it was just a short ride from her university recommended apartment building to the hotel the gala was being held at. Aelin got out of the car, the bright lights of the hotel brightening the street in the dark. Rowan had said he would meet her inside so she didn’t bother searching for her grey headed date out here. There were more people milling around inside and she caught glimpses of the room decked out for the gala. From what she could see, it looked amazing, and she was very interested to see what kind of desserts she’d be able to find.

Aelin sighed and waited, she couldn’t get in without an invitation. All the other guests showed either a fancy paper one or something on their phones. The large foyer started to empty and there was a fleeting sinking feeling in her gut that she might be getting stood up. At least Aelin was already paid for her troubles.

She watched the front doors, ignoring anyone who didn’t fit Rowan’s very blurry description. Plenty of handsome men and pretty women walked through the foyer and into the gala, as time dragged on Aelin got impatient enough that she checked her phone for any updates five times. She was about to send a message politely demanding to know where he was when movement at the doors caught her eye.

The man had his head down as he fixed his jacket cuff, his silver hair keeping her attention. When he looked up he damn near took her breath away. He was devastatingly handsome, his face on the rugged side of classically handsome with those sharp cheekbones. Like her, he was dressed for a party so it was easy to assume he was a fellow guest. The way his broad shoulders filled out his jacket was downright criminal, because holy gods this was a fine specimen of a man. The stranger paused to look around the room and then pine green eyes landed on her.

Aelin straightened as his gaze dipped over her and she was now damning the situation she found herself in. How was she supposed to flirt with this man when she was meant to be escorting a lonely lawyer around?

Unknowing about her internal crisis this god amongst men started walking over towards her, and Aelin tried not to cry over the fact that she would have to turn him down. Because despite his silver hair, he wasn’t old. In fact if Aelin had to hazard a guess he’d be 30—if that. His silver hair…

What if… no.

Aelin warred with herself, could this be him? Could this incredibly hot and not old man be her desperate lawyer? Was this the right guy?

He got closer and closer, not deterred by anything and he stopped right in front of her. “Celaena?”

Blinking twice, Aelin had to force her mind to jump start. “Rowan Whitethorn?”

When he nodded, the relief that went through her almost had her swaying in her heels. He wasn’t old. “I thought you might have stood me up.”

A boyish kind of embarrassment lit up his face. “I got distracted by work. That’s not unusual.”

“I see,” Aelin said. A desperate workaholic it was then.

Then just like that, he tugged at the hem of his jacket becoming a polished business man. Rowan extended his arm, the music and the lights of the gala beckoning. “Shall we?”

Aelin slipped her phone back into her sleek, black clutch and took up Rowan’s offer. “Lead the way.”

If this man and this party were to be her introduction into the world of being a sugar baby, Aelin wasn’t at all disappointed.

~~~~~

The evening was a complete success and full of surprises. Rowan didn’t know what to expect when it came to his date, but she was utterly charming and stunningly beautiful, and she managed to play the part perfectly. She smiled and chatted away, making up for Rowan’s lack of social finesse. What she was very good at was managing to steer conversations away from getting too personal. They knew next to nothing about each other, things could have gotten awkward very rapidly if not for her quick and distracting wit.

It was hard not to be drawn to her, to be enchanted by her. The dress she wore… it had nearly stunned him into silence. It was sexy, but also reserved enough that it wasn’t the wrong side of indecent. If that exact shade of green wasn’t already his favourite colour, after tonight it sure as hell would be. Celaena had a classic beauty, and she moved and spoke with admirable confidence. The unique hue of her eyes was startling and it was hard to look away.

On top of all that Celeana also had a wicked sense of humour and he was at risk losing his hard bastard reputation just from the sheer amount of times he’d found himself laughing at something she had said. She was a life saver. Having her there not only allowed him entry to the event, but also let him do all the elbow rubbing he possibly could with the directing manager of Forest Fae Toys and Games with the added bonus of some harmless flirting. She knew how to play the game and it was a relief that Rowan didn’t have to do all the work. He was in with a shot now thanks to his contracted help. This woman was well worth the money.

That thought was jarring and highlighted the ridiculous fact that Rowan had to resort to such lengths. But at the same time it had been so easy and Celaena had been more than lovely company. If he was being honest with himself, he’d like to see her again, and not necessarily in a paid for capacity. It was unfortunate that they had to meet under these circumstances, it just made things awkward for him going forward.

The uncomfortable truth of it was that Rowan was lonely. He’d forgotten how nice it was to spend time with a pretty woman outside the capacity of work. And it was almost like they had skipped a step here. Because of the pretence and expectations they had glossed over all the tension that came with being strangers. There were just less expectations and that made Rowan feel like he could relax. Socialising had never been something he’d been good at,, and it seemed Aelin had more than enough to make up for the skills he was lacking. He would very much like to see her again, but from what he understood, that decision was entirely up to her.

“I have one question before I go,” Aelin said when they were out on the street and waiting for the car he had ordered for her. Once they had left the gala they’d moved a healthy distance apart and even though it was silly for Rowan to miss her closeness, he did.

“What is it?” Rowan asked, curious as to what mischief that she was up to.

She raised a hand gesturing at his hair. “Is this a fashion choice?”

That was not what he was expecting, Celaena had surprised him again and it made him let out a soft chuckle. “Genetic. Runs in the family.”

She laughed, and shook her head. “Your profile picture was so bad that I thought you were some old guy who couldn’t get a date.”

“Well,” Rowan said, resisting the urge to rub the back of his neck, “that’s only half true.”

She laughed again and the sound of it went straight to his gut. Her bright eyes stayed on the top of his head while she said. “Well, Rowan Whitethorn. My bank account thanks you.”

“You’ve saved me in more ways than one,” Rowan admitted.

The car pulled up and Celaena and the driver swapped confirmations before she turned back to him. “Goodnight then, Mr Whitethorn.”

He didn’t know why she called him that, but he didn’t exactly hate it. “You have a good night as well.”

Celaena flashed him one last smile before she ducked into the car. Seated inside, she leant forward and gave him a final wave and then she was gone. Rowan went back into the hotel foyer to use the elevator to get to the underground parking lot. His silver sedan was waiting for him, the colour now making him smirk. Climbing into the driver’s seat he was more than ready to call it a night.

Not bothering to plug his phone in, Rowan turned on the radio and then immediately tuned it out to fuzzy background noise. He was too busy thinking about Celaena to listen to the music or the words. It was unfair that they had to meet like this, it really didn’t give them a chance for anything more. And Rowan had specified he was only after a one time thing. He’d damned himself from the start.

Rowan was home before he knew, the streets of the city not all that busy this late at night. Tapping the dongle on his keys he pushed the button for his penthouse apartment. He had never bought it for pretentious reasons, he had loved the view if provided over the rest of the city—all the way out to the ruins that skirted the northern edges of it. His tie was the first thing to go, and then his jacket, next he was fishing his phone out of his trouser pocket and froze.

There was a notification on his screen, and if he had connected his phone like he usually did he might have pulled over wherever he was to tend to it. It had some from Sweet as Sugar and it kept up with the habit of being direct and succinct.

Celaena would like to spend more time with you. Yes or no?

Rowan unlocked his phone and he didn’t know if he’d ever replied to message that fast in his life. He even managed to accidentally scroll up in his efforts to send it a reply because his thumb had slipped in his eagerness. Because he very much had his one resounding answer.

Yes.

~~~~~

Posting from my phone so it might get another edit. @rowaelinscourt

[tyriq-edits]

In the Plain of Nysa (Trigun Greek Mythology AU)

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Priest of the Twins' Cult

Lives pretty much in the Sanctuary of Nysa by himself but gets occasionally visited by other Members of the Cult, his younger brother Livio or people in need of the Twin Gods' Blessings.

A (Kinda?) normal Priest living in his tiny Sanctuary offside from Civilisation on a small Island in the Aegean sea called Nysa.

His Duties for the most Part consist of Prayers and Sacrifices for the Gods And keeping the Temple and Statue of the Twins clean and occasionally doing a Ritual on thr Request of the odd Visitor.

Did not expect one of the Gods he is serving to be dropped off at his Temple by the goddess Meryl and her Satyr companion Roberto and to be stuck Body-Guarding said God but oh well here he is.

May Or May Not Regret Giving Vash That Short Chiton.

For more Information/lore about this AU just look at the in the plain of Nysa tag on my page or just send me an ask in my inbox.

Also shout out to my best pal Stephan for teaching me how to draw.

Additional Ramblings about the lore and WW’s design under the cut

This is btw what a Penennular Fibula looked like and I only now noticed that WW is wearing it wrong in my drawing 🥲 The needle is supposed to rest on the Bow of the brooch and not in the opening in the middle.

Also this Fanfic takes place approximately around the time of the Peloponnesian War (431-404 BCE), however Penennular Fibula were primarily worn by either Celts and Romans. So as you can tell while I am trying my best with historical research and keeping things somewhat historically accurate, there are still creative liberties being taken for this AU.

As for why this AU and Wolfwood‘s Sanctuary are called "in the Plain of Nysa“: It‘s actually a reference to the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, aka the most complete version of the Myth of Hades and Persephone we have. In this Hymn it says

In other words it was "in the Plain of Nysa“ in which Persephone was kidnapped by Hades. On a fun note, Nysa is actually not a real place anywhere in Greece. It was instead meant to symbolise "a place far away“ the same way we tend to say "in a kingdom far away“ when starting to tell a fairytale. However that did not stop some Ancient Greeks from guessing where Nysa might be located. Some thus point it to be situated somewhere in Macedon or today‘s Balkans, others claimed it was around the area of the Black Sea or…. That Nysa was on the Island Naxos. Which is why in early drafts the Sanctuary was meant to be located on Naxos itself but as I have never been to Naxos in my life it felt disrespectful to the actual people who live there so I just changed it to the Sanctuary of Nysa being on a lone non-existent Island near Naxos instead.

On a smaller note Nysa was also said to have been the Birthplace of Dionysos, with his name meaning "God of Nysa“. In other Stories however Nysa was the name of a mountain on which Dionysus had started his cult.

I am also taking some creative liberties with how Priesthood functioned in ancient Greece. Unlike how it works in Catholicism and other religions, Priests in ancient Greece were not a separate social class. Heck apart from a few Cults and sanctuaries, being a priest was not even seen as a main occupation of job for that reason. And a priest usually wasn‘t chosen by some council, but in many cases you just paid a certain amount of money to become a priest. They did not even have an official attire like catholic or shinto priests do nowadays. However they were still expected to dress somewhat formally compared to WW‘s Exomis, which is basically the ancient greek equivalent of a priest showing up in shorts, flip flops and an old Tshirt.

The Twins Cult in this AU is by the way HEAVILY based on the Eleusinian Mysteries, aka the Mystery Cult dedicated to Demeter and Persephone. I will some day make a post dedicated to them and priesthood in ancient Greece as a whole.

And yes I still fucking hate drawing feet and shoes.

[etirabys]

on email

I put off wedding planning with the expectation that I would do a terrible but functional job once deadline urgency kicked in. This has started to happen. One consequence is that I have (probably but hopefully not temporarily) had to become a timely emailer.

The impetus was procrastinating on clicking a link in an email that it turned out I should have read ideally acted upon immediately. This is an embarrassing but characteristic mistake – my habit with emails is to open them, get a fast (and sometimes wrong) impression of the contents, have the emotion of not wanting to deal with it, and marking it as unread. I do this with a lot of non-email messages across all platforms, too, with the result that I drop a lot of messages that I forget to or can't mark as unread again.

I knew perfectly well what a loathsome creature I am to do this, but Willpower did not work.

I've been much faster with all messages in the past week and will describe what I understand of the change, so that it will hopefully persist.

(A prerequisite: for many years I have unsubscribed from, filtered, or blocked unwelcome senders. I try not to give out my email address for any reward greater than $20.)

i. I had to radically accept that I am tired and stupid most of the time.

Radical acceptance is a concept from mindfulness / dialectical behavioral therapy, and mostly means the opposite of "trying to believe something that isn't true". It means understanding and accepting your actual circumstances without flinching from them, and acting in a way that actually achieves your goals in those circumstances.

So it turns out – in some part because my expectations for myself haven't adjusted from my pre-burnout days when I had more energy and a better memory – that I put off things because "I can tell I'm dumb right now, and if I try to book this flight I'll probably double-book myself even if I check my calendar three times, and I should do this when I'm more awake." Or "I shouldn't resume this conversation about an art commission, because I don't feel all here today and I'm probably going to mess up the conversation". Or, of course, "I shouldn't make this decision the wedding planner is asking me about right now, because I'll make the wrong one."

While there is variance in my mental abilities depending sleep and time of day and so forth, I almost never pass the bar of cognitive competence I implicitly set for making these decisions. So if I keep the bar where it is, I'm never going to get anything done.

I have to radically accept that I am (compared to when I was younger) tired and stupid all the time, and I still need to live my life. I need to double-book myself and then pay $20 to reschedule my flight, arrange for a tasting with a caterer that doesn't meet a desideratum my spouse told me about, join a reading group I'm too busy for and then leave, get on a call that I forgot to do research for beforehand... etc.

And: I have to respond to emails and messages approximately as soon as I see them, because "my future self who will make informed decisions about things I cannot" is an illusion.

ii. Conversely, I should never check messages when I'm not prepared to make respond to arbitrary textual stimuli.

I used to check my email or messages when I was bored. This makes no sense! The contents of my email inbox are determined by the decisions of a large number of other people, and could contain anything. It is this variance that makes this addictive, and it is also this variance that makes it important to read it when I have the wherewithal to react appropriately.

I don't want to keep training myself into being the kind of person who repeatedly clicks and unreads a scary medical bill email. To stop that behavior, I want to have a mindset of "if one of my emails is a scary medical bill email, I am willing to read the whole thing, think about it, and take the appropriate next action" whenever I am about to navigate to my inbox.

The same goes for clicking into Discord or Messenger, because I need a similar presence of mind to react to invitations to high-effort social events, requests for help I may not be able to give, requests for information I need to think about before providing, etc.

The important thing is to not mix actionables with entertainment. I need mental separation between those two, because perceiving personal pings as a subset of social media notifications made me treat them more passively. "Oh, huh, a decision to join a Paradise Lost reading group is on TV. Interesting. Now an ad..."

---

I expect to backslide on my improved response rate/quality once I'm done with the wedding, but hopefully writing the above will act as the strut of a dam.

[th3w00ds]

Sharper Headcanons

Sharper's a regular human

Although now, due to an experiment gone wrong, he got his arms and his legs replaced with a mix of metal and his own flesh, basically prosthetics

Very advanced ones, as he's a scientist and inventor and made them himself

He can feel through them, and they usually look exactly like regular limbs

That stays true even if others touch them, though you could probably feel the wires and circuitry in his arms/legs if you pressed down hard enough

Even though they do have machinery in them, they do still have human flesh and tissues

Hence in Take Me Anywhere where his body and the wires/circuits seem to be one whenever he's injured

Because, well, they are one

Sharper has a tendency to get hurt on accident a whole lot

That damages his prosthetics and exposes the circuitry underneath them

Which to him hurts just as much as a wound of whatever caliber it is would hurt to a normal human

A master at inventing and chemistry

In fact, once he had a whole company

It was called Sharper Industries. He unfortunately shut down his company after getting very addicted to his own invention: The Sharper Industries Immersion Tube, and the Hallucina-Puff Memory Gas that allowed the tube to work

Sharper hadn't completely made sure that the Memory Gas was perfected before he started producing and selling the Immersion Tube to the public, hence the "Excessive exposure to HPMG may damage some to all brain function" warning on the product

The reason Sharper got so addicted to it was after his ex-girlfriend, Jessica (whom he was on good terms with before her passing) died in a car crash during a storm while going to visit her family

Sharper, even with all his life-altering and potentially life-saving inventions, couldn't save her

Due to all his guilt about the accident and his belief that he could've done something to change it, he obsessively enters an Immersion Tube that he had installed at his home

Just to see her again

Over and over and over and over

Sharper couldn't stop thinking about Jessica and what he could've done to help her, even if he was the head of a wealthy company and, by all accounts from everyone around him, "needed to move on," Sharper couldn't

Not yet

His addiction to the Immersion Tube ended up nearly killing him

Sharper realized this due to his worsening health, worsening immune system, extreme memory issues, frequent migraines, flashbacks, and emotional instability

So he stopped using his Immersion Tube, and shut down his company. At the time it was just an extended leave, but without their founder, the company started to fall into disrepair quickly

By the time we see him in Take Me Anywhere, he's gotten over the majority of his addiction to HPMG

Although Sharper still goes occasionally have withdrawal (I have no idea if this is how addiction works so if I get anything wrong I apologize)

What Sharper hasn't gotten over however is Jessica and her death

At that time, he is now attempting to create a "perfect version" of HPMG in his personal lab

Well

More abandoned warehouse which Sharper has repurposed into his home and current laboratory

Yeah he just kind of found it abandoned, moved his stuff in, and was like "Alright this is my home now, I can conduct my research without interruption!"

Sharper hasn't gotten extraordinarily far in his perfect HPMG research, but has certainly made lots of progress

There was an unexpected side effect of one of his test versions of his altered HPMG

When he took it, all the injuries he had at the time were healed immediately

No matter the severity

While it worked wonders for physical injuries, it didn't work so well for mental ones

He is very, very determined to get there one day, to the perfect version. If not for him, then for Jessica

@nwtbobsessedemo @bondoes-art @themoonisrotting @colourfulmes @nightshade-error @flaming-dolph16

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hello! I've been kinda stalling sending this for absolutely no reason, but I'm gonna do it today because it's going to rot in my brain if I don't. Actually, maybe you've done this ask before? Idk, my brain is all scrambled up rn but I'm gonna ask this anyway cause why not

What would happen if Yuu got their period in the Kaiju!AU? How would the Kaiju react?

I can imagine Grim and Crowley freaking out, trying to figure out what's wrong with Yuu. And all the while, Yuu's like, "What are you guys doing? Hey, stop bombarding me! Personal space! What- why are you guys sniffing me!?" And since Yuu doesn't understand what they're saying, they can't answer them on why they smell like blood. Or it the scenario could work with any other of the Kaiju's, too

Wait, how would Yuu even get menstrual products anyway? Do they get them from Sam?? How would they even get those type of products from Sam??? Maybe he get some of them from that wreck of a lab from the beginning somehow? Idk, but I thought it'd be a fun idea

Yeah, this is all I have rn since my brain is cranked all the way up on slow mode today. I hope you have a good day and goodbye! (Oh, and this can be a gender neutral thing with Yuu just being AFAB)

WARNING: Menstrual cycle discussion under read more! Will be using they/them pronouns since gender neutral/AFAB was requested.

Oh goodness, being in the Kaiju AU is going to be a little more difficult for Yuu whether they’re female or AFAB. 😂 Between staying in Crewel’s den or at Crowley’s nest, it’s tricky to get the supplies that they need or communicate to the Kaiju that this stuff they’ve piled up is necessary. Given that Grim does understand what Yuu is saying though, he is able to help at least get that point across…when it suits him anyway (if Yuu makes even more of a fuss than usual, he’ll translate for the others).

I’ll go ahead and explain that—at first—Yuu had to get a bit creative with their monthly cycle once it actually hit. I’d imagine that their body might temporarily shut down that function due to the stress of their new environment, being surrounded by giant monsters that could literally level mountains with a swipe, and the near constant sense of impending doom—even if they’re safe with the guardian trio. This is good for Yuu as it gives them time to finally venture out of the den with Grim to explore the other facilities as it would take a while before they can get back to the original lab.

Luckily for Yuu, the closest facility—although abandoned—was still in good condition and had most of the supplies that they’ll need. In fact, this is where they found the music player that Grim thought was a chew toy! So imagine the sheer excitement and relief Yuu would have the moment they found not one, not two, but a whole crate full of pads, tampons, period cups, and even extra unopened packages of underwear!

You might be wondering why there was so much. Well, because there are female researchers on the teams and the island is not exactly in the most convenient of places, which means that getting supply drops are far and few. Especially when you have creatures that aren’t the Kaiju who can and will attempt to attack any vehicle that comes near the island. I’ll get a bit more detail on the island’s setup and whatnot, but that’s a bit of context on how Yuu is essentially set when it comes to non-perishable items that could be used for a comfortable existence on the island of behemoths!

Sam may have found a few crates of other supplies that had been washed up, but it’s not like he knows what they’re used for unless he observed the humans using the tools out in the field. Even so, Sam will know when Yuu needs something and will make sure to have them available on his next visit. How else did he know to bring a bed when Yuu wanted something comfortable to sleep on?

Now, as for how the Kaiju would react when Yuu finally starts their cycle. If you were expecting Crowley to be freaking out over Yuu’s health like he did in the Twisted Monsterland AU, you’d be mistaken. He does get flustered, but more like a “my tiny human is too young to mate!!!” sort of way while Crewel just sighs at his theatrics. They would be concerned to notice if Yuu’s cycle causes them a lot of pain and discomfort, but luckily the facilities have plenty of painkillers and antibiotics that are available—all that’s required is MIRA to access the appropriate amount needed to get Yuu through their current cycle!

Surprisingly, Grim becomes more protective over Yuu whenever they’re around the other Kaiju. Whenever he notices that they’re uncomfortable (whether they just took painkillers or they’re exhausted or some other feeling they get during this time), he will pick them up or curl around them to purr up a storm and hiss at whoever comes near too fast.

He’s swatted at the first years more than once. 😆

The other Kaiju boys would be confused as to what’s happening. Sure, they know about cycles on an instinctive level (and they understand what it means), they’re just more confused as to the frequency. Do humans not have specific mating seasons? Eventually it does get to the point where they know to be less rowdy when it’s that time of the month, either bringing Yuu their favorite treats or snacks that they managed to get (and once it became clear that one particular fruit tasted exactly like chocolate pudding to Yuu, it became a staple) or taking naps with them. Yuu is going to be one very comfortable human once they figure out a good rhythm to manage things!

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but there's more than one way to survive in the wild, and with MIRA at Yuu's side, their chances of survival were better than they were before! UvU Also fun fact, there really is a fruit that tastes like chocolate pudding! 0v0