#who’s gonna come take care of meeee?

[exhaustme]

scrolled through my feed and now i’m aching to be touched. my pretty litttle pussy is throbbing and begging to be played with🥺

[inu-jiru]

Jazz's "Apology Tour" ramble

Episode was trash, let's go.

First off, the whole "Fuck Blitzo" party is so stupid to me, like you're telling me this 30-something year old man had intimate relationships with ALL these demons and HE was the sole thing that ruined ALL of them?

And how did Verosika even find out about Stolas? Like I know Ozzie's happened, but how'd she hear about their "breakup" (they weren't together but whatever, show)?

Why the FUCK does Verosika care about Stolas being an uwu sad victim of mean old Blitzo aside from everyone being written to want to huff Stolas' sad boi farts?

Why is no one trying to kill Stolas like in Loo Loo Land, like suddenly we're just cool with the oppressive racist now (who am I kidding, the rank system doesn't exist anymore unless the "meanie supremacist" characters bring it up I guess)?

Don't think I'm trying to be "Blitzo's#1Bitch69" or anything, but Season 2 is just so gross in how they've written him. Either he's the big bully meanie for hating his abuser, or they've had him commit the most out of pocket atrocities (like possibly SAing Stolas since he was technically drunk or the circus incident or the shit he pulled with Verosika because what the fuck kinda trauma makes you steal someone credit card for horse riding lessons???) that they just gloss over because fuck having Blitzo actually progress normally or Stolas taking actual responsibility for his own actions, let's just speed through everything so it's back to Stolitz City, don't think about the implications. I just can't stand itttt, I still like and pity Blitz to an extent but his writing is killing meeee

Stolas, stop whimpering about being wanted YOU HAVE A KID WHO HAS STILL NOT APPEARED SINCE SEEING STARS WHERE IS SHE?

Am I really hearing that people are hating the dude flirting with Stolas like come on yall STOLITZ IS NOT OFFICIAL YET CHILL

I've honestly started skipping through episodes, like I can't fucking listen to "WAHHHHH BLITZO I WANT YOU TO WANT ME" for the millionth time, I wish this episode could've just been Blitzo and Verosika facing their issues or something I just don't wanna see this owl loser act like a victim anymoreeee

Man really said "when have I ever been condescending?" SEASON ONE???? How about every time you grab his face and call him out of his name and watch him be shot at while demanding he come over one a month? Oh, but when Blitz starts doing it back it's "Oh I'm uncomfortable ooOoOoo stop it Blitz hnnghhh I don't like it :C :C :C", like whatever man.

The Striker comment was dumb and wrong but that's because Stolas is dumb and wrong

Honestly I feel like I'm repeating the same points I and others have made in the past so all imma say is, I hope Octavia and Stella are enjoying their off-screen and better written adventures together. I'm gonna draw some AU stuff now to give my eyes something better to look at.

OH I forgot to talk about Verosika, uh, she was there? I honestly think she should just get over herself at this point, idk when she and Blitz broke up but what the fuck is it about this clown that she was so enamored over where she's this hurt? I can get being mad about her credit card and Blitz being a lazy partner but if that's the case, I fail to see how they got to a point where she got his name tatted on her arm. Idk it's weird

The Mayweather shit or whatever her name is was pointless and made no sense, like "I want you to kill this woman who made me attempt to kill her and myself but now we're dating" like? Hey Vivzie if yall can callback to that why can't yall call back to Stolas being a creep huh?

EDIT: They really made that fuckass "it's hell" excuse canon, huh? Like, it doesn't even make sense in the context of Blitz saying that, like people say "it's hell" because Biblically speaking, it's where those who truly oppose God in order to live a life of wickedness go as just punishment. Blitz the equivalent of a regular guy in Hell unlike the Hazbin characters, he shouldn't understand that there's a better alternative to Hell because he's not human and never had any opportunity to learn about Heaven or God (unless it's just in their DNA or something idk who knows with this show)

[lemons4u]

𝐈 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐓 ! - 𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒┊i’ve left you guys w nothing for so long 💔 so take this small series (multiple chapters) as a apology, hopefully you guys will forgive meeee— AND i’d like to add the kazuha smut isn’t gonna come out till the end of november or thee begging of december, anddd expect a albedo smau ❤️

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒┊fluff, suggestive (ofc, it’s written by pri, what else do u expect?), fem! reader, modern au, somewhat ooc alhaitham not rly though, AND CUTIE PATOOTIE READER… w a little attitude

“ come on alhaitham! it can’t hurt to try dating someone… ” kaveh tried to reason with him— claiming that he’d been single long enough and needed a relationship. ( also he is very attractive, and has chicks swarming all around him… you’d think he’d make the effort to start something with one of them… but! guess not! )

“ kaveh, i said no. i’m in no need of a reltionship— plus all these.. girls. ” he hesitated— thinking of a proper way to describe them.

“ their annoying, and clearly don’t care much for their studies.. i need a partner who actually has a brain. ” alhaitham said sourly.

“ ugh… ” kaveh pouted, “ brains aren’t everything, you know? if i were you i would’ve got a girlfriend already!! ”

“ i hope one day these girls realize you’ve got no personality and are rude and— and well, you know!”

“then they’ll realize what a true man is… ” he grinned. “ aka, me. ”

“ brains aren’t everything? i disagree… a persons brain is—”

“ shush! i don’t need one of your lectures about how blah blah means blah blah. ” kaveh scoffed, frowning once more.

“ one day you’re going to end up dating a no brainer, just because their pretty. ” alhaitham murmured, closing his book and leaning his head back on his seat.

“ and you’re gonna end up dating no one. ” kaveh snapped back.

“ fine by me. ” alhaitham said stoically, but to be honest… he did want to love someone eventually, but he wouldn’t admit that to kaveh.

“ you know what? if you can’t find anyone you like here at our uni… why not get a dating app! there’s plenty of smart people on those! ” kaveh exclaimed excitedly, desperate to get his “lonely” roommate a partner.

“ and get catfished? no thank you. ” alhaitham declined quickly… but seriously, a dating app might be a good idea— maybe he could meet someone at his intellectual level.. not some dumbass like all the girls here.

“ not everyone on dating apps are catfishers, come on! please try one! and i’ll pay you a visit to the library…!! ” kaveh pleaded. “ you don’t even have to date… you can just make a friend! ”

friend….? well he certainly needed more of those— as well as new books.

“ a visit to the bookstore, not library, and you have a deal. ” alhaitham tilted his head up at kaveh.

“ ugh… fine. just don’t buy too many books! or else i’ll never be able to afford supplies for my project. ”

alhaitham hummed. “ alright, i’ll limit myself to… eh, three books. ”

from the most expensive section too…

“ three?! come on make it at least two… ” kaveh pouted. “ you always get the most expensive books, so two! ”

alhaitham sighed, “ fine, two books, and i’ll try that stupid dating app. ”

“ bet! ” kaveh gleamed, picking up alhaitham’s phone which made alhaitham jolt up a bit.

“ hey what are you— ” kaveh shushed him.

“ getting you the app, obviously!! ” kaveh chuckled, flashing the phone over to alhaitham’s face for face-id.

poor alhaitham couldn’t even snatch it back.

kaveh was typing away on alhaithams phone ( without alhaitham’s consent too! how rude! )

“ here! now you can set up your profile. ” kaveh handed alhaitham back the phone.

“ okay, okay. ” alhaitham muttered, sounding unhappy… but in reality he was a little bit excited.

“ kaveh. why do you even want me to date someone….? ”

“ because haitham, your 23 and haven’t even gotten a peck on the lips— and your like, i dunno, attractive? i have no idea i just wanna help you live a little… ”

alhaitham blinked at his friend a couple of times… live a little? he was already living his life the best he could.

well actually, that was debatable.

“ yeah, okay. ” alhaitham clicked on the profile… he needed a profile picture and bio..

“ use the photo from the festival! you know, the one with the glasses and you actually smiling! ” kaveh suggested.

“ that one…? okay. ” alhaitham scrolled through his gallery, which was mostly just photos of kaveh making faces, books, and some things he found appealing (aesthetic sunsets, and photos of trees and plants).

“ what about for my bio? ” alhaitham asked kaveh, who seemed to already be conducting something “good”.

“ say your name, age, mbti, zodiac, and major! and whatever else you think is important for your soulmate to know. ” kaveh nodded proudly.

“ soulmate? you make me laugh. there’s no such things as soulmates. ” alhaitham scoffed. “ people fall in love and that’s it, there’s no mystical soulmate thing behind it— think realistically kaveh. ”

“ i am thinking realistically! ” kaveh snapped back, brows furrowing. “ your so ungrateful. ”

“ and my zodiac? the fuck does that have to do with anything? ” alhaitham raised a eyebrow, but typed it down anyways.

“ i thought you believed in astrology! ”

kaveh sighed, trying to calm himself down— screaming wasn’t going to help him. he couldn’t get a another sore throat from alhaitham.

“ whatever, just put anything down at this point…”

“ i should write down ‘ lover has to be smart ’… ” alhaitham said with the faintest smile.

kaveh gave him a look.

“ it’s a joke dumb ass. ” or was it?

( 2 days later ) it was about 1:24 a.m— and for some reason alhaitham was awake watching tiktok.

i mean he couldn’t sleep because of kaveh’s loud snoring.. and he has finished his books— and didn’t exactly want to binge on his new ones all in one night.

and that’s when he got it— a silly little notification.

‘ you matched with… [ name ], [ last name ] ! congratulations!! ’

“ the fuck… ” alhaitham squinted, clicking on the notification to be brought to your profile.

he examined it for a moment, you took the same major as him and were fairly… pretty.

he stared at it for a moment longer before receiving another notification.

‘ [ name ], [ last name ] would like to chat with you! ’

of course, he quickly clicked the approve button.

⟣ master list ⋆ next ⋆ prev

[crazylittlejester]

Hey hey hey you should talk about your blorbos

YOURE SO RIGHT MAJOR THANKS FOR ENABLING ME >:)

I’ve talked a lot about Wars today I think so I’ll yap about Time because he is ALSO my special guy and I like yapping

(All of this is gonna be my headcanons/interpretations/how I write him, also my bad for spelling mistakes or if this is incoherent)

I feel like Time is a very complicated character who isn’t either the perfect stoic leader nor the crazy little gremlin, but something perfectly in between. I don’t think leading comes naturally to him at all, he’s doing an okay job, I mean no one’s died so far /j and his age and life experience makes him more likely to be listened to and respected, but I don’t think he’s perfect leader material. He’s a bit awkward and unsure, and yeah he’s got just as much information as the rest of ‘em do so he’s not really at an advantage. I wouldn’t say he’s COMPLETELY in over his head but I’m sure he’s had more than a few moments where he’s had to pinch the bridge of his nose and ask himself how on earth he wound up in this position. He’s not TRYING to be the group dad, but some of the younger ones kinda view him that way because he really does care about them all and he’s a safe person to go to

I’ve definitely yapped about this before but I hc he definitely gets overstimulated by the others sometimes. Him vs Wind and their polar opposite sensory issues is a fun thing to mess with in writing because I know Wind is the kid who struggles to sit still and everything is going so so fast for him all the time, it’s all very go go go go go and when he’s moving and yapping at light speed past Time who’s going through the mental equivalent of realizing the wheels on your bike are going faster than the pedals and you need to break or you’ll crash, it doesn’t end very well. Time is autistic to me, and while I think he’s higher support needs than say, Warriors, because he was a bit quiet and weird as a kid he just kinda got written off as odd and different and in HIS mind he thinks society overwhelms him so much because he grew up in the woods where any time he got overstimulated he could just walk off and get some space. Nature is comforting to him it helps him calm down so he can regulate himself again so if you stuck him in a city for long periods of time he wouldn’t do too hot. Also with him being autistic I think his facial expressions and voice can be quite flat at times. It takes more EXTREME emotions before you can see/hear them from him

I also hc that since he was a growing kid putting those masks on all the time and changing his body around so much it SERIOUSLY took a toll on him and his body is fairly loosely held together. He has a lot of chronic pain and very easily dislocates his hips and shoulders

ALSO I DUNNO WHAT THE ACTUAL THING WITH HIS EYE IS, BUT I HC HIS WHITE EYE IS GLASS. It’s not just that he can’t see out of it, it ain’t there. And the scar on his face is pretty deep and makes it difficult at times to move that side

THANKS FOR ENABLING MEEEE

[kookie-doughs]

Daddy Cupid: The Asshole

Modern!Donquixote Doflamingo X Reader

-When your father grows weary of your single life, he takes it upon himself to play matchmaker. With him knowing the entire city, he embarks on a mission to find you the perfect match.

Chapter 7: Oh just shut up stupid heart

A series of snaps broke your trance as you turned to face Marco.

"I said we're done," he smirked. "Congrats on finally getting your wrist fixed."

You nodded, a bit flustered. "Oh right, thanks..."

With an eyebrow raised, Marco crossed his arms. "So, did you really not come here to eat lunch with me? It's been weeks; I've missed it." He teased with a smirk.

You huffed playfully. "Oh hush. I'm still upset about you leaving me for Doffy."

Marco laughed. "So you ghosted me because I let Doflamingo take you to his brother?"

"Mhm," you replied, still a bit annoyed, but a smile was beginning to form on your face.

Marco chuckled, "I don't know; you didn't seem upset when he took you home."

You pouted, "Why did you even let him take me?"

"You should've seen his face."

"Did he scare you?" you asked with a smirk.

Marco laughed, "He looked like a dad playing hide and seek with a kid who was hiding in an obvious place and pretending not to know."

"That's not a good reason," you stated, leaning back in your chair.

Marco, with his easygoing grin, shrugged casually. "I dunno, Y/N. It's just that he had this vibe around him, a calmness that felt reassuring. It was completely different from what Rosinante and his kid warned me about."

Intrigued, you leaned forward and asked, "So, what were they saying? About Doflamingo, I mean."

Marco's eyes crinkled at the corners as he recalled the situation. "Well, they seemed way more concerned about that guy – than the wound itself. It was like he had everyone on edge."

"When is he getting discharged anyway? Rosinante?"

"Whenever Doflamingo picks him up, I guess."

You sat there silent momentarily thinking about what's between you and Marco.

"You know he likes me though, right?" you pressed.

"Yeah, and?" Marco replied, looking unfazed.

Your frustration bubbled up. "You let me go with him?"

Marco chuckled, seemingly unfazed by your complaints. "Well, I don't own you, so I can't control who you hang out with. Besides, I don't think we're working out romantically anyway."

Your annoyance grew. "And why wouldn't we?"

Marco leaned down, his face inches from yours, and grinned. "Because, pretty girl, you don't like me." He let out a laugh, leaving you both amused and bewildered.

You grumbled, "You don't know that!"

Marco chuckled. "Well, I've known you for quite a while, and it's kind of obvious. But don't worry, I don't particularly care."

You pouted and crossed your arms. "Now I'm offended because I like you, and you don't care if I do."

He gave you an exaggerated frown. "Oh no, I'm so sorry." His playful tone and smirk only added to your mixed feelings.

"Why don't you wanna believe meeee? I like you!" you protested.

"Really?" Marco smirked and hopped onto his table. "Then are you gonna kiss me to prove it?"

You retorted, "I will if you want me to."

"I don't know about that, Doflamingo said you're bad at kissing," he teased with a sly grin.

Annoyed by his comment, you stomped toward him and crashed your lips into his, proving him wrong.

When you pulled away, you shot him a glare, and he couldn't help but laugh.

You stomped heading towards the door, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Marco followed after you, still laughing, "Pretty, don't be upset! I'm not laughing at you. You're not bad at it, I swear!"

"Ugh, you're impossible!"

"I told you it's the spark that's missing!" Marco said, blocking your way with a smirk. "If it'll make you feel better, we can kiss again, and I won't laugh this time."

You smacked him lightly, and he laughed once more.

You slowly pushed the door open, revealing Doflamingo and Rosinante engrossed in filling out paperwork. Your heart raced as you caught sight of a certain someone.

"Pre-" Marco started, but you swiftly elbowed him, causing him to hunch over in pain.

Marco peered out of the room and with a warm smile, greeted, "Donquixote brothers! Before Rosinante leaves, there are a few things I need to discuss with him and offer some reminders. So, if you wouldn't mind giving us a moment, Doflamingo~"

You hesitated, "I-I'll, uhm... I'll leave you to your work, Marco." The butterflies in your stomach threatened to escape as you attempted to hide the silly grin that crept onto your face.

Exiting the clinic, you couldn't help but be a bit surprised that Doflamingo didn't call you out on anything. Nevertheless, you tried to brush it off and went about your way.

But can you brush it away?

This was the first time in forever Doflamingo had seen you and done nothing about it. Was something wrong?

Maybe it was another problem about Rosinante.

"Hey~"

Ah there it is. You smiled to yourself.

"What is it you want this time?" You turned with your eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

As you turned around, you saw that someone was approaching, but that someone was not Doflamingo; it was the nurse. Your shoulders slumped and you felt deflated.

"You forgot your bag," she said with a chuckle, handing you your bag.

"Ah, thank you," you replied, taking the bag.

With a tint of disappointment, you waved her off and watched her run back to the clinic. There was no sign of Doflamingo chasing after you, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions about it.

"Why are you complaining about him leaving you alone this time?" Smoker sighed.

"What if he heard you and Marco talk?" Buggy gasped.

"A doctor's room can't not be soundproofed. Patient confidentiality." Smoker cleared it up.

"I'm totally on the 'he overheard you and Marco' side."

"I'm on the 'this isn't an emergency, why did you make me come all this way in my shift' side."

"Glad you're here, Smokey," you rolled your eyes.

"You don't like him and have expressed many times that you hate him," he groaned.

"She obviously changed her mind and likes him now!"

Your face flushed, "I DON'T LIKE HIM!"

Smoker sighed, leaning against the wall. "If you say so."

Buggy pouted. "But it was so juicy and full of drama."

Your face grew even redder, and you crossed your arms defensively. "Seriously, I don't like him. He's just... annoying."

Smoker raised an eyebrow. "Annoying enough to make you blush like a schoolgirl, it seems."

You groaned and covered your face. "Can we please not talk about this anymore?"

Buggy and Smoker exchanged a knowing glance but eventually decided to drop the subject.

"You were the one that called us here." Smoker sighed. "You're lucky, we owe you one so they let me get of early."

You turned to Buggy, a mixture of uncertainty and pleading in your eyes. "Bug... What about you? What do you think I should do?"

Buggy leaned back in his chair, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's your call, really. Do you want to take the initiative and approach him first?"

You hesitated, your mind filled with thoughts of Doflamingo and the new feelings you couldn't quite explain. "I... I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

Buggy gave a knowing nod. "Alright. In that case, nothing will happen. You can send him a text if you want to start a conversation, or just wait it out if you're not sure."

"Or you can ask someone to ask for you." Smoker suggest.

Inspired by Smoker's suggestion and determined to make a bold move, an idea struck you. You thought of a certain someone who could possibly help you resolve your feelings and doubts.

"Guys, come on, coffee's on me now, now, now, let's drive!" You yelled with enthusiasm, eagerly pulling both Buggy and Smoker along with you.

With Smoker behind the wheel, you arrived at the coffee shop. Your favorite local spots, that was usually empty around this time. Bursting into the cafe.

"Lawwww!!" You cried out, making a beeline for the counter.

"Y/N? What do you want?" He smirked.

"I need help! So like you see-"

"Y/N, you're in line. You're a customer."

"Shut up no one's in here anyway! I'll order in a sec!" You waved him off.

"We're not empty." He cleared up.

"There's like two people in the back do you want me to get this over with or not?"

"Fine what do you need?"

"So like... uhm... have you noticed... anything?" You said slightly embarrassed?

Law looked at you with a mixture of confusion and slight amusement. "Noticed something?"

You stumbled over your words, still feeling flustered. "L-like, you know! I don't know, maybe like... you know?"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but also puzzled. "You know? If you don't talk normally, I'm just never gonna get you off my back."

"L-like at home.... is there like... I don't know... a problem...??" You looked at the ground, your face burning in embarrassment.

Law frowned, genuinely concerned. "Why? What's wrong?"

You continued, your words spilling out in a rush. "Okay, so like, is Doffy upset or something, or... I just think something is up, I don't know. He ignored me earlier, and I don't know, that was just weird. He didn't... well, you know... he didn't give any annoying remarks? Like, did something happen? Did something happen at home? Did something happen with Rosinante? Did something happen with you? Did I do something? Omg, tell me if—"

"Coffee for Doflamingo!" the barista called out, interrupting your anxious rambling.

Your eyes widened, and you looked at the barista who had called out for Doflamingo. Panic welled up inside you, and you shot a glare at Law, who was barely suppressing his laughter.

This was a nightmare. You were caught in your frantic questioning about Doflamingo by none other than the man himself. You muttered a cuss word under your breath, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you.

Before you could make your escape, Doflamingo was already blocking your path. He held his coffee, looking down at you with an amused grin as he sipped it.

Your heart raced, and your face flushed bright red in embarrassment. You were now cornered, and there was no easy way out of this situation.

Wait.

No no. Let's be calm. Maybe he didn't hear you. Maybe... please tell me he didn't hear you.

"W-What do you want?" You asked him.

Doflamingo leaned in closer, his smirk growing wider. "Nothing. You're just in the way; I was going to order more coffee."

His close proximity made you feel like you were on the verge of hyperventilating. You avoided eye contact, desperately trying to remain composed.

"R-Right... I'll get out of your way then..." you stammered.

Doflamingo's grin didn't waver. "It doesn't seem like you've ordered yet. Did you not come here to buy coffee?" he asked, feigning surprise. "Oh my, what could be the reason for you coming here?"

"T-To get coffee!! I-I'm treating Buggy and S-smoker! I'm buying coffee," you responded, turning back to face Law, hoping he'd bail you out of this awkward situation.

As you fumbled to find your wallet, panic set in, and you began frantically searching your pockets.

"E-Eh..." You looked up at Law, desperation in your eyes.

That was Law's breaking point, and he couldn't contain his laughter any longer.

"You're holding up the line. If you can't afford coffee, dumbass, don't buy," Doflamingo taunted with a smirk as he handed his card to Law.

After getting his card back, Doflamingo leaned closer to your ear. "And next time, I'm not going to be this forgiving," he whispered with a smile, gently wiping your lips with his thumb. Your heart raced as his touch sent shivers down your spine.

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Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @nykie-love-anime @angstylittleb1tch @valen-yamyam16 @melodyidk @anicega @littlegreekgirl1 @rebeccawinters @manduse @alextheknight707 @h0n3y-l3m0n05

[shwarmii]

how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

[spitinsideme]

hi sorry if this is weird and long but i know you love misty from yj and horny thoughts and i thought you might appreciate me dumping some super horny thoughts i have about misty here

one of my favorite things to think about with misty is inspired by the adult timeline where she watches nat have sex with the police guy through the owl she gifted her…like ohhh my god please give me a stuffed animal and watch me while i wreck myself unable to be satisfied without you !!!! i hope she sees me humping my pillow and thinking about making me hump her thigh and beg for her to finger meeee …. i hope we’re good friend and roommates who talk every day, play all kinds of games together, and we have a great agreed upon system for chores. i need misty to offer to do the laundry just for her to smell my underwear and get so fucking turned on by it and rub against it until it’s covered in her cum too !!!!! i need her to go through my search history for all my kinks so when the time comes she’ll already know what i like !!!! i need her to plan around all the kinky things i’m into especially the things i’m afraid to talk about (like i’ve had a weird teacher kink lately idk why) !!!! oh god that’d be even better for her to bring it up and i don’t know how she knows but she leans into it so hard and with such confidence that i short circuit and cream my pants and i call her my very sexy intelligent girlfriend for it

i’ve always had such a huge thing for like stalkers and yanderes…. but not like cold blooded psychopaths who only want you cuz you make them happy but like misty where they would earnestly want to do anything for you and your happiness and sometimes that means kidnapping you because they’re the only one who can make you happy !!!! to misty i think she would totally do something like that because her mind is that balance of logical emotion where “it makes sense for me to take you away from your house because you were unhappy there. and the only right way for me to guarantee you’ll be okay is if i do it myself!” (i mean in actual practice there’d be like pre-negotiated consent i don’t romanticize actual stalkers but technicalities also i forgive misty for everything anyways so)

need her to kidnap me and for me to be so happy about it like my crush kidnapping me??? like she’d threaten my mom or something and i’d be like “yay! i don’t care about her! btw what’s for dinner, babe?” and she’d be a little confused about it but super happy that someone sees her for who she is and is so excited about her!!! even when i’m tied up and supposed to be her victim!!!! the person she loves so much loves her too in her weirdness and stalker tendencies and adorable cat sweaters !!!!!

this would also tie into one of my favorite fantasies of misty tying me to a fucking machine and watching me through a camera on her phone as she goes to the grocery store oh my god me screaming her name and shaking from how strong the machine is but still missing misty so much and i’m begging her to come home as she quaintly contemplates how she will prepare the potatoes for tonight’s dish right before thinking about how hard she’s gonna fuck me for being so good and waiting for her and how she has to hurry home to take care of her loyal baby :((( like oh my god it’s torture but knowing misty is watching me in public, glued to her phone to see my pussy getting pounded by the machine and getting so wet from how i sound so needy and how i need her, i put on a show for her because i know it’ll be worth it once she gets home and gives me the strap so rough and deep until my cervix is broken and misty has a god complex for how many times i screamed god and i think i’m pregnant

holy shit okay so… do with this what you want …… analyze me or add on or scream with me about this…. i’d love to hear your thoughts because i’m so misty brained 24/7 and any thoughts you have would be very cool (as if i don’t constantly think about her already and have so many more thoughts horny and not about her)…. okay bye for now <333

i think im in love with you can we please kiss .. misty doesnr exist but i do and i can make all of that come true

your huge .. everything .. your such intricate and detailed and setting the scene of how its going to happen and whats going to happen and literlalyevery single thing ?? fucking dialoguse included ??? i am aftually in awe like i want you to know i read this aboit 7 times and ive given each paravraoh a subtitle and could pronbalg annoyaye it, i couks recite the whole thing y hesrt thatd how many tinmes ive read it and enjoyed it

how do you rven knlw im a misty fan ... i dont think i havr rver even talked about her but god fuck yes i am !!!! in tht when shes cannibalising jackie and blood os dripping down her chin my first thoifh was god that shpukd be her eating me out when im on my period ... i fucking LOVE unhinged women i donr desire her sexually like you do i just have romantic feelings towarss hrr but god . jesus fucking chrst . that wad beautoful ... you have such a ay with words ... i feel like yoid wrkte a script nefore sex .. if anyonr eve rolepkays woth you ad foreplay tjey will have ablast i mean rwally my GOD !!!

me personally i am actually number 1 the top ever laura leel lover so i understand the need and the horniness andthe desire because god the things id let laura lee do to me actually .. but nonetheless .. i thik i an in love with you and pleaplse, and i mean this wholeheartely and so sincere, PLEASE send me more asks of you being horny about any character. misty or whatever rlse. ineed to hesr more of this, i am so interwatrd in you and how badly you sant to be fucked and in so muxj detail its actually like im reading class literature

[madame-mongoose]

RAW anon. Yes Man trusts you and specifically you to do maintenance. It takes a while. Initially he only does self repair, but he gets an internal issue that requires someone who can look directly inside of him, a repair that needs to be done by someone with smaller hands than securitrons. An he asks, and you understand the monumental effort and trust. So you are slow, and delicate, very deliberate and gentle with every movement. And overtime, though he still needs you to be gentle and careful, it becomes like a second nature for him to ask you. Of course he trusts you, Monnie. Who else would he trust? You're special. You're his repairer. He only trusts you.

oh my god. oooooh my god. anon what are you doing to meeee. STOPPPPPP STOP SAYING WORDS TO ME IM GONNA LOSE MY MINDDDD

oughhh just knowing,,, he would trust me like that,,, him being so uncomfortable. but knowing i would never hurt him or do something he didnt want. oh my godd. feeling the heat coming off of his chassis. hearing his little involuntary beeps and clicks... oh my god. stop stop it please

DO YOU KNOW HOW TOUCHING THAT WOULD BE??? like realistically he could always just transfer to another securitron model. one thats undamaged. but like.. letting me repair him. anon i dont think yoj understand how special and intimate that is. im gonna hurl

[fandomfluffandfuck]

That. Fucking. MOUTH

Oh my God i'm actually screaming inside what the fuck. LOOK AT BABYGIRL'S PRETTY LIPS DJSGJDGSJS but i'm really looking at this gif—

This fucking gif somehow awakened the med kink inside of me so this is gonna be a ramble that contains a mix of med kink and pup play (maybe a little guard dog ish?👀) But i swear s, look at his teeth, look at his lips. What if those fingers were replaced by someone else's? Maybe pup's getting his teeth and mouth examined every week. He's sittin on the carpet, blue eyes staring up at Buck cause how can he not? Daddy looks so gorgeous he wants to worship him all day, whine at his feet or even— “C'mon, open wide pup.” Bucky repeated his words cause he was sure that his pup didn't hear him the first time. Steve whines for a second, blinking a few times before finally doing so, Bucky only able to chuckle at how good his pup was. Bucky hummed softly, pushing his upper lip and fat bottom lip aside just so he could get a good look at those goddamn teeth of his, all sharp and strong. “You been taking care of these?” Bucky hums, his voice soft but somewhat stern as he looks down at the poor puppy, running the pad of his rubber covered thumb over Steve's canine teeth. Steve nods, face red from the humiliation of Bucky's fingers rubbing over his sensitive gums and tongue, hanging his jaw wide open— trying his best to keep his lips parted for daddy.

Ehgdjege in conclusion :

THOSE FUCKING LIPSSS 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

R I G H T ?

JESUS CHRIS(T), WHY IS HE ALLOWED TO LOOK LIKE THAT.

And, PRECISELY, that gif. That is the gutting gif. Like. Literally! You get it! It's absolutely giving 🤌🏻medical exam roleplay🤌🏻 Examining that pretty mouth to make sure everything looks nice and healthy.

(Don't do this to meeee! Guard dog? Guh.)

That's--

Yeah 😮‍💨😮‍💨

I love that.

Like, I am imagining that Bucky regularly carries out these exams of Steve, making sure his dog is constantly in the best shape possible. He wants Steve in good health for his own safety and comfort, of course, but he also wants him in good health to make sure that anyone Bucky wants to stay away is warded off.

Thanks to these exams, Steve is well-groomed with rippling muscles and white, shiny teeth. And, truthfully, there's nothing more frightening to someone who’s not where they are supposed to be than a well-trained guard dog with sharp teeth gleaming behind snarling lips, just waiting for the command to attack--completely obedient and loyal to their Master and ready to prove it.

Steve's greatest, deepest pleasure comes from doing as his Master says. He wants to please him badly. He will do anything to protect him.

Also, just, Jesus Christ, the mental image of Bucky beckoning Steve over to him with just a click of his tongue and a smooth hand gesture in order to examine him is too much.

So is the image of Steve (naked other than his heavy-duty chain collar) obediently sticking out his tongue for Bucky to stroke the length with two fingertips… too much... he goes farther, though. Bucky purposefully triggers his gag reflex to see his dog's eyes involuntarily water and force him to start to drool. He doesn't otherwise move a muscle, though; too well trained. As Bucky runs his finger along his pet’s gums under his lips, top and bottom, he watches, rapt, at how much more drool spills from his mouth all wet and shiny and pretty. There's a puddle collecting on the floor. Bucky knows that his dog would lick it up if he commanded him to. He would, he will, he always will listen to his Master.

Fuck me. 🥴

Thank you for giving me the excuse to let the intrusive horny thoughts win, lmao

[cookiepie11]

Playful "interrogation" (Style tickle fic)

Warnings:

This is a tickle fic (strictly sfw both characters are kids)

I am shipping Stan and style

Contains feet tickles

Some swearing (I censored them a bit :>)

"cmon Kyle, I know you have a crush, everyone at school is arguing about who it is!" Stan said to an annoyed and flustered Kyle

"I do not have a fucking crush!" Kyle yelled his voice going up a defensive tone

"Then what's with the blush? Huh" Stan teased

It was true Kyle had a big crush on someone. God knows how anyone found out but no one actually knows who it is. Kyle didn't really want his super best friend to know his crush so he was VERY embarrassed about the situation.

"shut up Stan!" Kyle said and hid his embarrassed face "quit teasing me a$Shøle I don't have a crush"

"hmm am I gonna have to make you tell me, Kyle?" Stan asked and wiggled his fingers towards his flustered friend, making Kyle's face go around 3 shades of red, darker.

Kyle felt his heart beat fast at the sight and he knew what was coming for him. He'd been tickled by Stan a ton of times and I mean he couldn't really say he disliked it.. oh what am I saying he loves been tickled by Stan but this time was different because he knew that he had something to confess.

"nohoo Stan don't" Kyle giggled backing into the corner "can we just move on from this whole thing I don't have a crush and tic-...doing that isn't going to make me feel any different.."

(Kyle can't say the t word to save his life)

"nope dude I'm not letting you get away so easy, b1tch" he teased and pounced on his red haired "friend"

"stahan nohoho this is so gahay" Kyle laughed and tried to squirm out of his crus- best friends's grip failing.

"I haven't even started yet" Stan laughed with Kyle and felt his face become warm and he hoped his blush wasn't noticeable

"JUST DOHO IT ALREADYY" Kyle yelled because he couldn't take the anpicitation (I can't spell)

"really dude? You want tickles that bad? Wow" Stan asked and started to claw at the giggling boys sides

"nohoho DUDE STOHHOP" his giggles turned into a loud boyish laughter

"hmm you gonna tell me your crush??" Stan asked but he didn't really care about that anymore he just wanted an exscuse to tickle Kyle :3

"noho dude I dohont have on- NAHAHA STAN NOT THEREE QUIT IT" he was cut off by Stan lifting up his shirt and Tickling his belly quickly

"dude tell meeee" he pleaded and tickled his ribs

"NOHOHO I DONT HAVE ONEE PLEASE STOPIT" He yelled and shook his head frantically making his hat fall off.

Kyle rarely took his hat off which Stan didn't get because his hair is so damn fluffy.

"ehehe I guess you want me to tickle right here don't you?" Stan asked and scratched his ears

"NOHOO PLEASE I CANT F#CKING TAKE ITT" he laughed and wriggled around like his life depended on it.

"just tell me your god damn crush then!" Stan said and smiled at his adorable "friend"

"NEHEVEERR! DUHUDE F#CK OFF" he cursed and forget to deny that he had a crush

"DUDE YOU DIDN'T DENY IT YOU HAVE A CRUSH!" Stan gasped and continued to tickle Kyle's bright pink ears "cmon you can tell me, I'm your best friend Kyle"

He was more genuine and less teasy when he said that last part.

"NAHAHA I HATE YOUU" Kyle yelled not really meaning it "STAHAPPP"

"ouch dude that really hurts my feelings" Stan joked "you know that was mean of you i think you deserve a punishment"

"NOHOHO IM SORRY" Kyle giggled he'd been tickled by Stan too many times to know what was coming

"too late Kyle" he teased and grabbed the extremely Flustered boy's foot and Tickling his toes

"NAHAHAHA STOP YOU ABSOLUTE A$$HOLE PLEAHEASEE?"

"don't worry I'll stop after this dude I don't wanna kill you" Stan said telling the truth

"BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOUHOU IT?"

"I don't really care who your crush is ,well maybe a little, I just wanted to tickle you lol"

"YOUHOU BAST@RD"

After a few more minutes Stan stopped leaving Kyle slightly disappointed but happy he could finnaly breath properly.

"you okay dude?" Stan asked and put his hand on Kyle's stomach (Kyle was laying down in a puddle of giggles)

"yehes, dohont touch meheh" he giggled still feeling phantom tickles on his stomach due to the light touch

"Oop sorry" Stan said and laughed a bit. He always loved seeing Kyle so giggly he found it so cute.

"I hatehe youhou" Kyle said and grabbed Stan's hand and held it.

"your litteraly holding my hand dum@ss" Stan said and laughed

"my crush.....is....you.." Kyle whispered

WOOO cliffhanger should I make a part 2?

That took alot of motivation out of me so don't expect another long fic anytime soon 😭

Tell me what y'all think maybe I'll write more south park someday

[queerfables]

911 season 5 liveblog part 3

5x10

I'm finding it hard to believe these women are busy squabbling with each other when their husband has been blatantly lying to both of them

And they both have kids who are probably feeling very confused and upset right now maybe go take care of that

Lmfao Hen's advice about what Buck should get Taylor for Christmas. "Don't overthink it just make sure it's sweet and something she needs and also shows you know her really well" SO HELPFUL

LOL TAYLOR IS JUST AS BAD AS HIM AT THIS

Thank God for Athena telling these two women exactly what I've been wanting to say

Awwww they're bonding

Noooo lady ask him out you can do it

Awwwww he likes her too even though he hated the present she got him. Cuuute.

Oh NO Chris is freaking out about Christmas because he's worried about Eddie T_T

Oh jeeze Eddie so does not need a child frantically asking if his dad is dead right now

OK Buck's present to Taylor was crazy romantic

Oh no Eddie's leaviiiiing.

I'm sure Evan "Abandonment Issues" Buckley is gonna be super chill and normal about that

5x11

Lol at Hen's revolving door of partners

Oh God horrible??

This show has actually really desensitised me to TV injuries involving the bone showing, that used to be suuuch a major squick for me

Omg Eddie is doing 911 dispatch? Please. How long is that going to last. He's perpetually 0.5 seconds away from climbing out a third storey window to rescue a kitten. Eddie trying to keep himself out of danger by coordinating 911 responses like an alcoholic trying to pay for therapy by working at a bar.

Oh he's doing PR? That's so much worse. He'll be stir crazy in a week.

On one hand, Buck should probably not broadcast his scepticism over Eddie's career change quite so loudly. On the other hand he is meeee so how can I judge him.

It's very romantic of the wife to wanna take over driving in this Speed re-run for her husband but wasn't the whole point of Eddie's call that they can't switch him out?

Yeah so this is the kind of thing I mean though, how is Eddie supposed to watch from the sidelines while the people he cares about put themselves in danger doing the job he loves?

Oh no Eddie, left on the outside

Lol yeah Athena pegged it. Bobby's bullshit about trying to find the ~right person~ as if that has ever mattered so much before. Buck hated Eddie at first and Bobby told him to get over it.

I really love that Athena rides solo. Her being the only cop and the one who works without a partner, compared to all these firefighters who work as a team, and I don't know, I just think it shows up in some really well crafted ways in everyone's characterisation and the ways that Athena is a little different from the others.

Wow this lady is really hitting on Buck

Buck do not???

Buck stop this????

Oh he's so drunk

Hen you are giving Buck terrible advice

Yeah no that's better telling the truth is the only option but oof this is not gonna be good

I am having some thoughts and feelings about how Buck's spiral over Eddie leaving is manifesting as kissing the last person he jumped onto the roof of a car with

I'm gonna get weepy again, Chris is such a good kid and he loves his dad so much

Lol at how Eddie's response to Bobby benching him for his own good is identical to Buck's

BUCK NO

Come on you'd done the hardest part she knew something was wrong and honestly in the grand scheme briefly kissing someone else is not that bad

But now it is VERY bad

You asked her to move in instead of telling her

At this point the only thing you can do is change your name, move to another country and pray she never finds you

Oh shit Lucy is transferring here isn't she

Buckley you are fucked

5x12

Maddie! I've just been thinking about how much I missed her

Oh Maddie honey

And Chimney!! Hi Chimney

Aaaah them finding each other again gave me chills

They're two of my fav characters I've really missed them

Oh no I just full on started bawling when Maddie started singing "the wheels on the bus" to jee-an. That song is one of my son's favourites and there were a few months where singing it was the only thing that would calm him down. I was already way too emotional imagining myself in Maddie's shoes and I guess that was the breaking point lol.

Then Maddie and Chimney started singing it together and I got teary all over again

Oh this is bad I cannot have a hair trigger weeping response to the wheels on the freaking bus that's so dumb

5x13

"We broke up" what the FUCK

Lol at Maddie and Chimney catching up on all the gossip from the 118 while they've been gone

Erg, the bends is my nightmare, it's one of those human body related things I'm squeamish about

Lol Buck you are being SO weird about Lucy it's very funny

Eddie really looks like he's not doing so hot

"Pain is just weakness leaving the body" for fucks sake. you would have internalised that, wouldn't you?

Well at least Buck knows it was dumb

Urg, spiders, another nightmare :/

Yeaaaaaah this is real bad Buck

Holy fuck the woman just dousing the mugger and then herself in gasoline

Omg the fact that Eddie is having a breakdown and Christopher is freaking out and the person he calls is Buck T_T

God this is awful for Chris though

Oh jeeze, Eddie. This is awful.

Man this is devastating but in some ways I'm happy Eddie finally reached a breaking point and let himself feel his feelings

I'm also really happy that Christopher had someone he could call. That kid has been through enough.

5x14

Oh Eddie

Buck drew a heart that's so cute

Buck you REALLY should have told Taylor everything. She is going to find out, you know that right? That's literally her job description

I'm really liking this arc for Eddie. I don't know, his primary coping mechanism seems to be to compartmentalise and shut down the difficult feelings and it's been good to see him externalise a bit more. It's shown a different side of his character I think.

[lokissweater]

hey love! it’s been quite a bit since i dropped in last (I’ve been busy asf), i really missed being here and talking to you😚 hope you are doing well and everything is going good with school and life and such! also wanted to say that i absolutely loved the recent satoru fic, it was so good:)! random ass question but i’m so nosey bro😭(forgive me) and it’s entertaining😏 soooo hypothetically speaking, if any of the jjk guys were real who do you think would be the closest to your real life type? and who do you think you could realistically pull? anyways i feel like i’ve wrote too much as it is so i’m gonna wrap it up lol. much love pooks🫶🏼

~🪻

OMG HEEEEYYYYYY 🪻 !!!! IVE MISSED YOU LOTSSSSSS !!! 🥹🥹💕💕💕

THANK YOU SO MUUUCHHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE NEW TORU FIIICCCC it made me cry and want to bury myself six feet under 😻 AND ALSO don’t worry my love i know life can be so packed and busy at times TRUSTT MEEEE !!! i’m so happy you took the time to stop by again and say hello !!!! 🥹<33333

BIIITCCHHHH LMFOAOAAO I LOVE YOUR QUESTIONS SO MUCH IM ABOUT TO DROOL ALL OVER MY SCREENNUUHHH !!! 😻😻

jjk men being real in the first place would have me giving up my soul to make that happen but I DIGRESS !!!! sir megumi fushiguro is the closest thing to my real life type that is why i bark and meow everyday over him 🫦🫦🫦 i said this in a diff ask but i’ve always been a HUUGEEE sucker for black haired emo grumpy men 😻😻 like yes come be mean to me and call me an idiot 😻😻 and then come give me a begrudging kiss because you feel bad 😻😻 I WILL EAT IT UUUPPPPPP !!!

AND BYYYEEEEEE I FEEL LIKE I COULD REALISTICALLY PULL NOOOO ONEEEE i have no faith in myself 😔💔💔💔 i feel like i could maybe soften up megumi with all the dumb shit i have to say that he’ll crack a little 🫦🫦 and i also feel like i would be really good friends with sir blue eyed honored one except that’s it and he would friend zone me if i confessed 😻😻😻

REALISTICALLY PULL WITH NO SUFFERING maybe hottie yuji …. but also im ugly !!! 😜 SO NO ONEEEE AAARRGHHHH IM DOOMEDDD !!! 😔

THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUNNNNN OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE QUESTIONS BABYYYY !!! 🥹🥹💕 AND NAAUURRR just know the longer the better i LOVE em long af 😻😻 in both ways 😻😻

MUCH LOVE TO YOU TOOOO AHHH PLEASE TAKE CARE !!! ILL SEE YOU SOON !!! MWAAAHHHH <3333

[stinky-winky28]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEADE TELL US THE SAMUAL AND MARY ORIGINAL UNIVERSE STORY????????? I LOVE OCS PLEASE TELL MEEEE 🥺

Ugh FINEEEE

Okay so basically it's like 1688 and a guy (Sam) arrives in a town somewhere near Maine with his friend James. He's like a doctor and the town.... uhhh... overseer? Mayor? He's paying Sam to come and take care of his frail crusty mother. James is the mayor's son btw so that's how they got in contact in the first place.

When he gets off the boat he gets lost trying to find the mansion he gets jumped by a little ginger (foreshadowing????) and manages to escape and get up to the mansion. As he enters he sees James' twin sister, Mary, and immediately realizes its the person who tried to rob him.

So the deal is made and Sam starts doctoring but one day he's in his tiny little pioneer house when Mary barges in bleeding out from a bunch of cuts and yk doctor instincts kick in so he fixes her up. This becomes a regular thing so that's like their bonding experience.

Mary is the first to fall, but Sam takes like two whole years. Speaking of which, he disappears for like 2 years for an undisclosed reason and comes back with his mother and sister. Sam sees Mary once he gets off that boat and immediately wants to hit.

The robbing-healing thing starts up again and eventually Mary's dad is arranging a marriage for her because he's a brokie and a not good person. The whole point of her robbing thing was so her family wouldn't starve bc her dad made bad money choices and lost a bunch of money (and she didn't want to get married off).

So Sam decides to save up the money he has to convince her father to let him take her as his wife. Btw by this point Sam and Mary have already confessed to each other. Mary's dad agrees and Sam proposes, but Mary gets scared because she lowkey had a misandry arc and does NOT trust men.

She denies him, and Sam quite literally leaves because he has no reason to stay in the town anymore (Mary's dad doesn't pay him anymore). He's on the boat to leave when Mary does the "WAIT DON'T LEAVE I WILL MARRY YOU" and then they get married

They have a baby about 2 years into their marriage and Mary gets outed by someone that she cross dressed back in the day and she got taken away. Sam doesn't do anything when they pull her away but he's like oh wait she's gonna die and while she's being burned he jumps in the fire trying to get her off the pole and dies himself and he goes to PURGATORY!!!!! The baby is fine tho she got raised by Sam's sister.

There's a whole other arc that I don't want to explain bc it's still in loose development so nothing is solid rn but there you go

Also the ages go as follows

Sam is 16 when he meets Mary and Mary is 15

He comes back 18 and she's 17

They get married at 19 and 20

They die at 21 and 22

[sucktacular]

. Sorry I'm gonna vent all my frustrations out today until it's gone and then move on with my life fjsjjfbenf feel free to ignore all this. Consider this a diary entry or something lmao

My favorite evil, spoiled, hatful, and deeply ungrateful daughter secret habit is getting another impersonal, self-indulgent gift from my parents and putting it in one of the drawers of my dressers in my old bedroom and leaving it there to fester along with the rest of the room and house and family

Like I'm nearly 30. I'm queer. I'm EMO I'm alt. I'm fucking masc about a lot of my dress and tastes. I've been this way since I was like at least 16...

And YET my mother keeps giving me prissy girly girl stuff. Like.... Not only does that feel bad for my genders, but you really didn't care enough about me to recognize I hate this shit and it's nothing I would ever wear.

And it's so fucking bizarre too cuz my distant aunt use to do the SAME EXACT THING TO ME??? when i was a lot younger/before I was a teen and we stopped visiting. And my mom would always comment to me privately how it's "weird" and "ugly" and that I "clearly don't like that stuff" and it was "just cus that's what she gets her daughters".

So like.. hello?

Idk man. I don't leave anything like clothes behind because it'll just get damaged by time and water and probably mice or something idk man. But I have a growing pile of Christmas gifts at home I frankly have no fucking room to hold onto.

Idk man... It feels deeply thoughtless considering who I am. Who I've been for half my life now. Idk man... Like I DO feel deeply guilty about it every single second of my life and I think I just need to drop everything off at a thrift store and move on about it.

Off topic, listening to Breaking Benjamin and RED is soooo classic "Alex trapped for hours in their parents car and deeply not wanting to talk to them" vibes and there's a twisted comfort in that LMAO

Oh RED I love you 💕 of breaking Benjamin I love you 💕 oh edgy music I love you 💕💕 soothing my soul

You take the breath right out of meeee. You left a hole where my heart should beeee. You gotta fight just to make it throouughh. Cuz I will be the death of you!!!

Idk that's not relevant to anything lyrically, it just came up on my playlist and thank God for that

Anyway my partner is gonna come up to see me later today and take me the fuck away for a lil bit and I can't waitttt!!!!!!!!! this is gonna be fucking work on my brain tho. What a fucking change of vibes.

Oh also I wanna say I dropped the word "queer" on my parents and my mom burst out a singular laugh and like LMAOO okay

I was living blissfully in a world where queer is a regular ass reclaimed word and forgor...

[dacuslucy]

MOUNTAIN FROG TAG TAHTS MEEEE!!!! iswitched to tumblr laptop so i could type faster anyways prom lore dump dinner was SOOO fun and the last dance dinner im ever gonna do with my best best friend because theyre leaving me for college next year :( but we got yummy pizza and fries and milkshakes and we listened to minecraft parody songs in the car between places YAYYYY!! got to dance with a lot of different people but thank god me and a couple other people brought some public school girlies with us bc good lord my lame little private school peers do not know how to get down let me tell you. ALSO MY FELLAS (this group of three guys who are like my sidekicks in event planning) they said they would go to waffle house after and then bailed which was LAAAAME considerin gi didn't even come up with the idea. but whatever. also i painted my favorite guy's nails and we matched pink nail polish !!!! HERES a picture of that actually because it was so silly and fun aaaaand prom ramble over. and also in sports world (a key part of our coffee times) my dear little hockey team are so embarrassing we lost 7-0 to winnipeg last night and we let vegas come back from a 3-0 deficit to win in overtime today so like im bandwagoning a different team actually. and also i don't care about mens sports actually all i care about is paige bueckers and katie ledecky and summer mcintosh and mollie ocallaghan and caitlin clark and sam kerr and mackenzie arnold and midge purce and crystal dunn and and and and. HOW ARE YOUUUU AMELIEEEEEE!!!!

ROWEEEEE THIS IS SO LOVELY I HOPE YOU KNOW I GRINNED WHILE READING THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH!!!!first of all that makes me so sad bc i have some lovely friends i know that r graduating this year and i am . i dont think ive come to terms w the fact that theyre actually leaving. so., haha!!!! tahts so fun!!!!! ahaha..... OMG MILKSHAKES MY MILKSHKE BRINSG ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD ILOVEEEEE MILKSHAKES THAT SOUNDS SO LOVELY ... youre loterally livingt the american high school dream your life is a movie etc ... THE NAILS ARE SOO CUTE I LOVE THE COLOUR & THAT IS JUST SO SWEET THAT YALL ARE MATCHING 🥹 SPORTS WIN (actually a sports loss for your teams ... taking those big L's....)but it makes sense bc they r the men and mens sports SUCK are you goung to watch the wnba draft tomorrow bci am SO EXCUTED BUT I CANT WATCHI T AND IM SO UPSET andi. need someone to watych iut and liveblog it in my dms bc i want to see all the outfits and all the evefrything and AAAAAAAAAAAAA anyway yes. WIVES FOR THE WIN LETS GO

[byanyan]

@hatesdogs sent:ㅤ“ This part of town isn’t a good place to be at this time of night. You’re being watched. ” Cue (kinda) protective (shh) adult figure Kitty.

late night wanderingsㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting )

ㅤthe scoff they push out is loud, rude, and paired with an equally dramatic yet annoyed roll of their eyes. apparently, they can't even escape this shit with kitty, who they thought got it more than most people do. disappointing, but they can't claim to be all that surprised. adults will always underestimate them. even the cooler ones, it seems.

ㅤㅤ" 'tHiS pArT oF tOwN iSn'T a GoOd PlAcE t—' oh my goddd, shut up. "ㅤdropping the butt of their cigarette to the ground and burying it beneath the thick sole of a strappy platform boot, byan shoots kitty a sharp look. under other circumstances, they'd be sure to poke fun at him ('oooooh, you care about meeee~'), but here... here, they can't feel anything short of irritated, indignant, and insulted.

ㅤㅤ" you think i don't know that shit? been comin' down here at this time'a night and later since i was ten, asshole. "ㅤand they had learned the hard way numerous times just how bad of a place it can be. however, they've also been quite successful in the area, so often underestimated for their age and appearance only to come out on top when someone tried to pull a fast one on them. they're not worried about it. they know what they're doing, have been fending for themself for a very long time and, to be perfectly honest, they think they deserve a little more credit than kitty is giving them. —or a lot more.

despite their very vocal outrage over the concern expressed on their behalf, however, byan takes a second to subtly scan the surrounding area. infantilized as they might feel by the other's words, a warning that they're being watched is something they'll always take note of. they're reckless, but they're not dumb.

ㅤㅤ" i know how t' handle myself. thought you, of all people, knew that. guess even you got fooled by the squishy cheeks, huh? "ㅤfinger pressing pointedly against one of the round cheeks of their still rather immature face, the teen's gaze flits back to kitty, a scornful noise rising in the back of their throat.ㅤ" kinda pathetic, not gonna lie. almost as bad as whatever fucker's watchin' me, thinkin' i'm some easy target. but at least you don't gotta worry 'bout me burying my bright pink hello kitty knife into your gut. ...yet. "