#who told me to go into med bro

[soobasaur]

when i’ve been sick for two weeks and come back to chat and post asks and ppl immediately ask when im updating

[synqiri]

guess who's gna hv to go to the hospital tmr and probably hv the infected wound surgically removed

[moeblob]

5min doodle of Gaius!

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘷. (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴) 🐅

⤷ summary: spain and canada. lando's rizz is negative, mission is failed. plus, mclaren pr is about to fuck shit up 🗣️

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liked by ynusername, zbrownceo, and 42,908 others

mclaren spain you were forgettable at best 😔 on to the next one

18,980 others

user1 y/n don't insult your team on the team account challenge

mclaren is it really an insult if it's true

user2 we got a lando photo but at what cost

user3 lando fans can never win here

mclaren why you would ever choose to be a lando fan to begin with is beyond me

user2 you're so right queen i'm sorry

landonorris DON'T APOLOGIZE WTF

user2 fuck both of y'all honestly

user4 at least mclaren fans can always count on content, even if we can't expect results 😭

user5 lando and y/n in their friendship era, how the fuck did we get here

landonorris you're posting me now? oh you want me so bad 🥴

mclaren sending this to hr immediately

ynusername YOU'RE FIREEEDDDDDDD

user6 damn she logged into both accounts just to make sure he heard her ass 💀 double homicide

user7 oscar fans i can't even tell if we won or lost

user8 we didn't get a face pic but... we didn't get whatever the fuck the 3rd slide is

landonorris guys pLEASE

landonorris i won't post it she says... it's just for me she says

user9 LMAOOOO AND YOU BELIEVED HER???? 🤣 🫵

landonorris going dark, no one call me

user9 was anyone going to anyways 💀

user10 LET HIM GET UPPPP

oscarpiastri i'll pay you 20 dollars if you don't ever do this to me

mclaren 🤝

mclaren i mean you were never the target but now you will be if i don't get my money!!!!

oscarpiastri oh ok

lilyzneimer i have pictures you can you use if you need bb <3

oscarpiastri WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

zbrownceo Very funny Y/n! Keep up the good work 👍

mclaren Thanks boss! (:

landonorris ZAK WHY

user11 zak is so supportive now, wait until he sees her comments 💀

zbrownceo I have seen her comments! Very funny! 👍

user11 blink twice zak, we can help you

maxverstappen1 This is the highlight of my week, thank you Y/n!

mclaren hey max verstappen of redbull racing! not sure if you heard but you did win the grand prix this weekend

maxverstappen1 No i know, this is just definitely better.

ynusername where's my photo credits 🫵

mclaren my bad bbg 😍

user12 nurse she got out again

oscarpiastri we'll win next time!!

mclaren who told you that 🤨

oscarpiastri the voices in my head

logansargeant you hold on bro, we'll find your meds soon

user13 i think moto moto likes you ahh image

user14 i need to shrink him and put him in my pocket and keep him there

user15 which one?

user14 lando

landonorris nuh uh, pick again

maxfewtrell you can't post pictures without consent mate

mclaren i didn't??

landonorris i didn't consent.

mclaren who are you gonna believe max? me? or the solid concrete evidence in front of you

user16 he looks like he can do some crazy tricks on a trampoline

landonorris this is the only comment about myself that hasnt made me viscerally angry

oscarpiastri unfortunately i feel the opposite

user17 lany/n at it again

user18 literally what the fuck do you mean

user17 if you dont get it, i can't explain it to you

user18 okay cryptic ass, fuck you 🙄

user19 they're in love guys, just wait and see

user20 yall just love saying stupid shit on this page huh

user19 i hate getting accused of some shit i actually do 😡 like yeah i do love that but who told you

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user20 op be so fr right now

user21 everytime one of these illiterate f1 drivers pulls one of the hottest women on earth a fairty dies

user21 *fairy

user22 fairty

user21 you shut the fuck up 🫵

user23 people when coworkers are seen together at their place of work

user24 do you hug your coworkers and follow them like a lost puppy when you could be on a break

user23 wtf no

user24 EXACTLY MF, THIS IS NOT COWORKERS BEING COWORKERS

user25 history will say they were just colleagues 😔

opeightywon this shit is a national tragedy

user26 every time i see a post like this i think about the fact that she has probably seen this and i shiver

user27 honestly praying on their downfall

opeightywon wtf

user28 lando fans be normal challenge

user27 idgaf about that white man, she's just too hot for him 😕

opeightywon oh yeah real

user29 i need another youtube video where they stare at each other longingly again asap or i fear i may start having withdrawal symptoms

user30 another hot girl lost to an average white man's swagless looks and cringe fail personality i feel sick

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liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 44,786 others

mclaren not our best results in canada but we improved i guess 🙄 but on a much better, more exciting note: NEW MCLAREN YOUTUBE CHALLENGE OUT GO GO GO GO

17,998 comments

user31 my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my funds are tripled

mclaren all me 😮‍💨

user32 "yay challenge video" we all cry in unison

user33 OSCAR FANS IS IT REAL??? HAS IT COME TRUE??? IS THAT A FACE PIC I SEE

user34 and it's good quality too 🤩 what did we do to deserve this

mclaren you don't, but oscar bought me coffee all weekend

oscarpiastri yes i bribed her, i feel no shame

user35 lando's back in the dog house bro, he's back to no face pics

user36 but look at his beautiful brown eyes

mclaren babe they're greenish blue with the TINIEST bit of brown 💀

user37 how long you gotta stare at a man's eyes to know the exact paint blend 🫵

user38 DOWN HORRENDOUSSSSSS

lilyzneimer insert comical heart eyes here

mclaren flirting with your man 🤢 on MY cellular device

lilyzneimer my bad bb, he doesn't mean anything to me anyways 🥴

oscarpiastri ok what the fuck

danielricciardo DROP THE CAMERA SETTINGS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

mclaren check dms 🤲

danielricciardo thanks love you're the best

landonorris LOVE??? LMAOOOO

user39 bro is losing the dgaf war MISERABLY

user40 the way lando is staring at her the whole time she's behind the camera 😫 oh he's not even down bad, bro's down under

landonorris can i get the camera settings

mclaren has anyone ever told you how good you are at photography?? i'm not saying that, i'm just asking 😀

landonorris oKAY fuck you.

user41 the way she doesn't even pretend to care about the results

landonorris i know 🙄

mclaren i know p13 is nawttt talking back to me right now

user41 OHHH SHE ATE YOU UP HUH

landonorris y'all are some fake ass fans fr

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8:57 PM.

Y/n stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock in the boardroom and huffed quietly. The table in front of her was covered in a mix of shredded mozzarella cheese and vibrant, red pizza sauce. Flour with evidence of handprints and bits of pizza dough decorated the wood and the woman internally sighed at the thought of clean up. Eventually she would have to get back to work.

Lando was on his phone across the table from her, and she fought the urge to stare at him. Oscar had left a while ago, having an earlier flight than them out of Canada. Lando and her had made the executive decision to stay and finish the pizza the two men had made during the "not my hands" YouTube challenge. It was messy, and didn't fully resemble a proper pizza, but it tasted good enough if not a little bit burnt. The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the time being while they ate.

In the time Y/n had gotten to know the British man, both on and off the track, she found herself warming up to him considerably. He was kinder than she gave him credit for at the beginning of the season, and far funnier. She could see now that more often than not he spoke without thinking or having any consideration, and maybe he was more than a little bit arrogant, but he also felt things deeply and cared passionately.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Lando's eyes met hers and he smirked. Y/n's face burned but she rolled her eyes at him and took another bite of their burnt pizza. Her ears caught the sound of him placing his phone on the table, and when she looked up again he was leaning his body across the table and toward her instead.

"What are you staring at? Hm?" He teased and she scoffed.

"You," she started and took another bite of her pizza, "have pizza sauce all over your face, you idiot. And I'm just thinking, not sure if you're familiar with the concept." He grabbed a napkin quickly and began wiping rapidly at his chin and mouth, and even his nose. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. There was nothing on his face. He was perfect actually. Unfortunately.

"Did I get it? Why didn't you tell me sooner, traitor!" She doubled over but nodded anyways.

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned as he settled back down.

"Just the season, you and Oscar," she muttered.

"Me? Thinking of little ol' me when I'm right here in front of you," she rolled her eyes with a groan.

"You have selective hearing Lando," he laughed and nodded.

"Well what have you thought about it? The season I mean. And myself of course, don't care much what you think about Osc," he leaned on his hand and stared at her intently. Y/n couldn't help that being stared at by Lando felt a little bit like being ocean, being pulled and pushed by the moon's gravity. Her brain didn't work properly around him.

Or maybe I'm just really dramatic and he's just hot, she thought miserably, Probably the latter.

"I just think maybe you and me got off on the wrong foot," she said as she fumbled with the lid of her water bottle, "and I think that maybe I enjoy this job a lot more than I thought I would." The comments seemed to sober Lando's mood up slightly.

Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful. Maybe it shouldn't have been that serious.

"What did you think of me?" He asked quietly. "When you met me I mean."

"Do you want me to be honest?" He looked at her quizzically.

"Of course I want you to be honest Y/n, or I wouldn't have asked."

"I thought you were kind of an asshole," she whispered and he laughed.

"So the beef was real for you," he smiled slightly and she let her face fall gently into her hands.

"Yeah," she breathed out a laugh, "yeah maybe a little."

"Doesn't seem like a little," he goaded and she shot him a glare.

"Okay Lord Lando, maybe more than a little," he pointed at her triumphantly.

"AHA! So it was the instagram comment. I thought you knew I was kidding," A loud groan filled the room as she smacked her head on the table. Lando's giggling could probably be heard down the hall but Y/n found she didn't care all that much anymore.

"It wasn't just the instagram comment," she defended weakly. There was a brief silence as Lando stared into space and shook his head.

"Wow... I can't believe you were actually mad at me and I just didn't know."

"It wasn't that big of a deal I guess, I just felt like you didn't really take me seriously."

"Well I mean you're not a very serious person," Y/n's heart fell to her stomach.

"What?" She asked, staring at him. She couldn't have heard him right.

"Well it's just that you're not very serious are you? Like since I met you, it's never felt like you were a serious sort of person." He added as if that was some sort of defense.

As if that isn't more hurtful.

"You're not like Zak or Andrea, or really anyone else here you know? You're just you, you're different. It was hard to be serious with you here because that's just who you are." He continued.

God just shut up, please for the love of God just shut up.

"This is my place of work Lando," she muttered bitterly. "I mean do you hear yourself." His eyes widened and he put his hands out placatingly. Like she was some sort of rabid animal he needed to calm down.

"No no no," he muttered quickly and stood up to round the table, "that's not what I meant Y/n, you know that."

"Stop Lando, just stop," she said as she began to clear off the table.

Why did she expect him to be different. What made her think he could've changed.

"You made it perfectly clear what you mean. What you think of me and of my work, my career" she spit out, swiping everything on the table into the trash. They hadn't finished eating the pizza and now it was in the bin, but Lando didn't deserve to eat the pizza she helped him make. He didn't deserve to be here at all. He wasn't her friend, he was her coworker and nothing else. It was better she accept that now.

"You misunderstood what I said," he grabbed her arm to stop her from cleaning and she whipped it out of his grasp.

"Stop Lando," she said raising her voice. She knew her eyes were teary but she didn't care. She knew her face was red with embarrassment and her hands were shaking with the force of her humiliation but she didn't care. Lando Norris could go fuck himself.

He looked at her in shock and winced as he saw her face. She steeled herself. She had never cried over a man before, why would she do it now.

"You need to leave, you have a flight in the morning," she said emotionlessly. "And I have to clean so I can go home." He tried to speak and she put her hand up, stepping away from him.

"Get out please, you're in my way," she said and his brows scrunched. He was angry? Good, so was she.

"I'm in your way?" He asked incredulously, as if she didn't have any reason to be upset. "You're not even going to hear me out?" He scoffed.

"No Lando, I don't have time for this. I have a job to do and you're in my way," she said emphasizing the words as if speaking to a child. His face fell. He looked angry.

"Whatever Y/n. What fucking ever," he muttered, grabbing his bag and storming out. Y/n waited. Footsteps in the hallways continued until a far off door slammed.

Y/n wilted like an unwatered plant as tears began to fall.

So much for friends.

She knew deep down she was hurt about much more than just friendship.

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this is the second to last chapter of part one! i hope you enjoy! please feel free to comment and send requests, i'm excited to hear your thoughts <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[lewisvinga]

doctor! doctor! | lando norris x fem! reader x oscar piastri !

summary; the average life of a med student dating not one, but two f1 drivers

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; cursing, suggestive comment

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested ! as a nursing major, i <3 anything to do w the reader being in the medical field ! also didn’t realize for the messages lando is just ‘lando’ so pretend his contact is ‘lan<33’😭😭😭

masterlist !

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; my boys sending me selfies so i don’t lose my mind today 🧡🧡] [caption 2; reason why i’m losing my mind; my first med school exam🤓]

landonorris replied to your story !

landonorris u literally graduated top of ur class, u can do this 🧡🧡🧡

yourusername why’d i have to be so passionate abt this career 😔

landonorris bc ur super duper smart !

landonorris osc and i miss you!! ( he won’t admit it but he’s sad you’re not w us😒 )

yourusername i miss my boys too ☹️ ( he does this every time )

landonorris he wants to act so cool 🙄🙄

yourusername well tell him spring break is in 2 months and i’ll be able to attend at least one (1) race this semester 😕

landonorris as much as i wish you can see us more often, you gotta go help save lives !

yourusername and i gotta study so i can go save lives !😣

landonorris: good luck ! liked by yourusername !

oscarpiastri replied

oscarpiastri that latte looks sick😯

yourusername stfu i know ur sad that i’m missing so many races this season😒

oscarpiastri lando told you ?

yourusername yes u don’t have to act all cool or whatvr 🙄

yourusername my spring break is in 2 months, i’ll be able to go to a race then !😁

oscarpiastri 2 months TOO LONG💔

oscarpiastri and go study u have an exam in 3 days 🙄🙄

yourusername STOP I’M TRYING TO AVOID IT

yourusername nvm just remembered i dont know anything, i’ll facetime u and lan later? okay???

oscarpiastri already waiting !

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others !

yourusername: a week filled with clinicals, studying, cheering for my favorite boys, and more studying !

tagged; yourbestfriend, friendone, friendtwo, oscarpiastri, landonorris

landonorris: oscarpiastri look at our girl studying to be a future life saver 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri: soooo smart, future dr. l/n🧡

yourusername: i love & miss you both sm☹️

landonorris: doctor! doctor! i’m injured and i need help!

yourusername: not a doctor yet lan

landonorris: shhh play along

oscarpiastri: don’t he’s being mean to me

landonorris: LIAR!!

oscarpiastri: why’d u get black coffee u never do

yourusername: bold of u to assume i didn’t get a latte after trying yourbestfriend americano

yourbestfriend: you’re studying to be a DOCTOR, how do u not like black coffee

yourbestfriend: dawg who let us study to be doctors 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

yourusername: LMFAOOO

friendone: stay healthy guys , ur future doctors are currently making tiktoks instead of studying

friendtwo: like studying wasn’t making u lose ur mind too !!

username: y/n studying to be a doctor is so sick

username: ur the coolest wag

username: bro i’m a nursing student and i’m dyinggggg idk how u do med school

yourusername: me neither tbh

username: imagine studying to be a DOCTOR and BOTH of ur bfs are f1 drivers, that’s actually insane

username: i wanna be u

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; my loves 🧡always cheering for you both 🫂🧡] [caption 2; time for clinicals 😣 ( will watch race highlights after sigh )]

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; finally in my happy place after weeks and weeks of studying and clinicals 🤍🤍] [caption 2; my pretty boys 🫶 can’t wait to be a doctor and see them in the er from doing stupid shit🧡🧡🧡 ( stop jumping on the bed before one of you hurt your head PLEASE) ]

[lynnsenpai]

My ten year anniversary of beating cancer

On October 2nd 2014, I - a trans woman - was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I wanna talk about that a little today. (((Probably obvious trigger warnings, but I'm going to talk about cancer, mortality, and transphobia.)))

It was a crazy time, because that morning, I was just going in for my yearly physical with my doctor. I planned to talk to her about taking steps towards bottom surgery that day, and then I was just excited to get home and count down the hours until Smash Bros for 3DS would release the very next day. But the appointment went an unexpected direction during the physical.

I'd always been told by doctors my whole life to check for lumps, and as much as I hated that part of my body, I did as I was told. So when I never found lumps, I assumed that meant I was okay. Then my doctor told me one of them felt oddly hard. She left the room for some time (I assume to check some things) and when she returned, she explained she had some concerns and was sending to another specialist to confirm some things. She said she felt very sure it was a sign of testicular cancer, though.

At the time, my brain wasn't ready to hear that. My doctor was visibly shaken. My spouse was on the verge of tears. And I was deep in denial like, "but I mean there's a chance it might not be, right? So I'm not going to sweat it." In hindsight, I'm sure I was frustrating to listen to for not taking it seriously. But it wasn't like I was trying to be obstinate, I just was that strongly in disbelief. I didn't feel sick. I wasn't in any pain. Things were going well; this couldn't possibly be happening now.

And yet, a few days later, I saw the specialist, and it was confirmed. I had cancer. Any optimistic doubts I had, shot down in an instant. The specialist wanted to take care of this as fast as he could, so I was scheduled for surgery at the end of the month, and he gave me a stack of prescriptions for various tests I would go to - basically one a day - for the next few weeks.

I had lots of blood drawn. I had x-rays done. I had CT scans. I had an incredibly awkward, uncomfortable ultrasound. And at each appointment, I was seeing some new doctor, nurse, technician, or otherwise professional who probably looked at my chart and, despite my legally changed name and gender marker by that point, saw that the person in front of them had testicular cancer. “And such a person could only be a man.”

I feel like it must sound so petty to be worried about pronouns when you're dealing with something like cancer. But I want to stress that I was nearly a year in presenting full time as myself by that point. I hadn't been called a man in a very long time. And up until earlier that very month, I was on cloud nine and ready to take the next step in my transition. This whole ordeal, on top of being horrendously scary, also took huge strides in regressing all the progress I'd made with confidence and self-love over the previous two years.

And it got worse too. Insurance refused to cover the surgery because I changed the gender marker. Because "why would a woman need to get surgery to remove a testicle. That's just silly!" And there was no convincing them otherwise. Insult to injury, I had to change that gender marker back to an M in their system so that they would approve this surgery. It was a surprisingly easy change to make happen too (which was technically beneficial for the surgery, but also sucked in its own way).

Oh, and then I had to go off all my HRT meds in preparation to reduce the risk of blood clots during surgery. I never felt lower.

All the while, I had plenty of time to think about my mortality. I was only 30. What about my spouse who I love more than anything and might be leaving alone forever? What about my ongoing webcomic, my work of passion which at the time was only nearing about the halfway point, and was at risk of being left unfinished forever? And what about my own future that not so long ago felt so bright?

It would not be an understatement to call October 2014 one of the darkest, heaviest, scariest periods of my life. But not in that good fun "Halloweeny" way.

But the big day came. On October 28th - ten years ago today - I went in for surgery for the first time. I was in the OR for maybe an hour, and the cancerous testicle was removed. As suddenly as it started, it was over.

Recovery was a long and painful (without dragging out the story longer than it already is, the surgical site got infected, so healing probably ended up taking longer than it should have). But the good news, all things considered, was that they successfully removed it, and I wouldn't even need chemo because it was caught so early.

There's technically more to the story. I would later see an oncologist who encouraged a second surgery, to remove the other testicle, as well as lymph nodes around the kidneys, all as a preventative measure to make sure it didn't come back or spread. I didn't love this idea, but she seemed confident that this was the right choice, so I went along with it. And just four months after the first surgery, I went and did it all again. (This time went much more smoothly, but was a much bigger incision, and was still a very long recovery.)

The whole thing, start to finish - including recovery time - was only about 7 months long. I would go for regular oncology visits and testing and blood draws along the way for years to come, but it never showed up again.

In 2016, I finally got back on track for bottom surgery, and then had it done later that same year. My gender marker is back to being an F (where it should be) on everything. I also have two wicked cool scars to show that I conquered cancer.

Unfortunately, I don't think I ever fully mentally recovered from the emotional stress of that first month, as doctor visits still evoke way more anxiety for me than they used to. But I don't get misgendered anymore, at least.

This was all ten years ago I wasn't sure I'd still be here on this day back then. But I got through it. I'm still here for my spouse. I finished that first webcomic after an 11 year run, and have since started a second. And… I'm doing okay. I'm doing the best I can everyday.

It was a terrible time in my life - an especially terrible way to start my 30's - but I think it helps to talk about from time to time. And the ten year anniversary, feels as meaningful a time as any.

So thank you for reading all that. Please make sure to take care of and check yourself. Even if it's a part of yourself you don't want.

Stay safe, stay happy, and stay healthy everyone.

[pynkgothicka]

Inspired by one of your reblogged posts..

I really want to see dark! misogynistic Jason Todd with a somewhat innocent! girlfriend. He was so sweet to her until they started dating; Now he just can't be bothered with her. He consults his friends about it on COD, or some other incel hangout, and they advise him to put reader in her place.

He comes home one day to reader laying in bed on her phone and he just can't seem to control himself. He's spewing out degrading thoughts, about how he's just so sweet to her and all she can do is complain, and not even be grateful that Jason's using his precious time to breed and lay his claim her needy cunt. Using and absolutely destroying her like the plaything she is.

(also, can i be 🐢 anon? i feel like I'll be returning to you for a while.. i love ur work!)

Ｉｍａｇｉｎｉｎｇ ＪＳＴ

Pairing - Dark! Misogynistic! Incel! Jason Todd x Innocent! Girlfriend! AFAB! Reader

Featuring - Rest of the Batboys

Tags and Warnings - Incel behavior, noncon, name calling, misogyny, medication, gaslighting, degrading, abuse, violence against oc/reader

Authors Note - Back tew my roots!!!! And ofc I would love to finally have anons!! Also sorry this took eons-

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

Jason watched you in your shared small apartment. He couldn't figure out what went wrong between the two of you. It started whenever he moved in. Jason was never so used to having somewhere there 24/7.

You were just so needy and particular.

“Jason? Baby… what do you want for dinner tonight?” You ask coming to sit by him. Your hands ran over his arm and kissing at his visable scars. Jason pulled away from you, the feeling making his skin tingle.

He watched as your face fell and you sigh before getting up and grabbing your purse. “I'm going grab something to eat tonight. Please remember to take your medicine.” You say heading to the door and leaving.

“I don't need them.” Jason replied quickly looking at you as you straightened up the living room before leaving. “I told you about reminding me to do shit.”

Jason watched as you just sighed again. “I tell you because I want you to be better baby. I don't want to keep doing things alone, I just want us to be better.” You said doting once again, keeping your sweet nature with Jason. But he only saw that as pity and he hated it. He hissed before rolling his eyes and getting up, the couch going back by his sheer strength. “I don't care what's for dinner. Just get out.”

💭

“I don't know what to do with her. She's just so fucking annoying.” Jason rambles into his microphone. He was playing COD with some online friends. One of his friends, N1ghtVV1ng laughs into his own mic.

“Well what is she doing huh? My girl treats me just right, and even allows me to fuck whenever I want.” He taunts. Jason rolled his eyes at his friends comments. “And she's so tight, god I trained her right.”

“Dude that's so gross.” RedRobinYum, another one of his friends said.

“Well, she just keeps bothering me. Then whenever I try to ask for something she just reminds me to take my meds.” Jason sneered. “Its the same shit, all these dumb questions. I just want her to stay with me and not bug me.”

“Well have you tried putting her in her place? Show her what you want from her.” DamitheBest says. Jason hummed at that suggestion.

“She's just so fragile, I'm afraid she might bre-”

“Get that shit out of your mind now.” Dami says. “Show her who's the boss before she does. Women will kick you to the curb and leave you for someone who'll tolerate that shit they pull.”

“Literally don't listen to these freaks, sit down and talk to her.” RedRobin chimes in. “With any relationship just talk it out, trust me I do that with my partner and we just talk everything out.”

Jason could hear Dami make a buzzer noise that almost broke his mic. “Nope, don't listen to him. Red, he's gotta put his foot down. Cut out any disobedience from his girl.”

Jason looked down at that, the thought of hurting you almost sickeningly turned him on. Dami was right and had always been. Jason just needed to man up and confront you.

💭

“What are you doing?”

You turn around from your spot on the bed too see Jason, standing in the doorway. You smile before getting back on your phone, his voice making you feel better that he's still around.

Yet majority of the time, Jasons voice always brought you a sense of worry and hurt. Worrying so much for and about him made you into someone who barely cared for yourself. It was always Jason, and everything you did was for him.

“Nothing really, I'm just kind of bored.” You reply. Jason stares at you, face blank. His eyes leered at your body as you just so casually laid down. Almost as if just waiting for you to say something. Anything.

“Your not going to bug me to take my meds?” Jason practically spat out. You turned around moving to where you sat on the bed. “Not gonna ask me to take out the trash, help around the apartment?

You furrow your brows. “What? Why are you talking to me like that?” You asked looking at him. “I- What did I do?”

“You dont like it when someone stands against you?” He replied completely ignoring your question. Everything about Jason's words and demeanor frightened you. It was like he genuinely hated you.

You stood up walking towards him slowly. “Jay… it's okay. I think you're having a episode…” You say keeping your voice low. Jason's chest came up and down as he kept getting more and more enraged. You reached out a hand to touch his arm, but Jason pushed you away. Your lower back hit the vanity you both built when you moved in.

“You think I'm having a episode?! Of course you do, you don't just think I'm pissed?” He replied moving to tower over you. You put a hand on the vanity to stand back up. Your chest heaved as your lungs tried to keep up with your heart. You pushed past him leaving through the bedroom door.

Back burning, you looked for your keys. “I'm done with this, all I want is what's best for you. But you've treated me like shit, and I'm done with it.” You said seeing reaching for your keys.

But they were picked up and thrown across the room.

Jason pushed your head against your kitchen island. You groaned out and began to thrash around. Jason snarled at you, keeping you detained.

Hr laughed in your face and seemingly just waited for you to calm down. “I like it when your quiet.” He said leaning down to kiss the back of your head. Your breathing shuddered as you began to cry quietly. Jason reveled in your weakness a hand resting on the back of your neck, the other on your back.

“What did I do Jason … What did I do so wrong…?” You said, your words breaking with your own tears.

“Get on my nerves… I'm such a good boyfriend, yet all you do is complain. I'm sick of that, so I'm going to change it.” Then you feel Jason's arm brush against you as he reached for the kitchen scissors. “Stay still, unless you want to get hurt. I could care either less.” He said as he took the scissors to your shirt. Cutting down the fabric, leaving you exposed as you chose not to wear a bra.

Starting to kick at Jason again, flipping around to try and get away. That attempt was failed, as Jason took your throat in hand, slamming your head back onto the counter. Your vision blurred on impact as he took off your shirt completely. The impact made you dizzy and start to become unaware. Jason saw that, and quickly took advantage of it, kissing at your neck.

He was going to get himself off.

It was what you owed him.

His kisses trailed down to your stomach, tongue dipping into every dip in your skin. You let out dazed cries as tears poured down your cheek. “You've always been so gorgeous. Don't you see how good you could have it?” Jason commented quietly as he pulled down your sweatpants along with your panties. He blew on your cunt, watching just how wet you became at his actions. “Do I have to keep beating you for you to keep still.”

Biting at your bottom lip to hold back tears you shake your head. He smiled as you shivered from his breathing. Jason pushed his head into your cunt, lapping at your exposed pussy. You bit at your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet. You couldn't give him that satisfaction, just once you wanted to be stronger than what you actually were. But Jason knew you, his hand coming down on your ass, making you yelp out. “Stop that, I want to hear you.” He said into your cunt as he continued to eat you out.

But Jason is Jason.

And Jason is selfish.

He only eats you out close enough to make you cum. He pulls away with the bottom half of of his face coated in your juices. You grabbed at the counter top, full on sobbing. “Please… Jay. Stop we can ta-” Jason's hand came crashing down next to your head, the sound of tile making you cry out more.

“You had your chance. You had multiple chances to talk, but you didn't. So now I'm putting you in your place.” He said, ignoring any protests you had. You could hear him undo his pants, the taunting noise of his zipper making your cries only louder. A dribble of spit hits your cunt, Jason's palm coming down to rub at your cunt. “Now shhh, while you take this dick.”

You let out a yell as Jason pushes his length all the way into you. He sits there, breathing heavy and labored.

His eyes stayed fixated on your pussy, swallowing his cock. He pulled out then pushed back in, your walls clamping on his length. His groans were deep as he took no time for you to adjust, fucking into you. Your body shook and shuddered as he held you down, using you for his own pleasure.

“You're so pretty like this,” Jason said his body pounding into your own. You continued to whimper under him, feeling your body become weak. His hand tangled in the mess he had made of your hair, using his strength to pull you up. “You need to be like this all the time, then I wouldn't have to deal with a bitch for a girlfriend.” He snickered into your ear. He said it like it was a threat, or a suggestion you couldn't turn down.

So you nodded in agreeance, his smile turning wicked as he fucked into you. You could feel his hips stutter as he reached his peak. Jason's hand moved to your clit as he rubbed at your bud. “You better cum with me or I'll keep raping this cunt.” That quickly snapped you back to reaily. The realization of needing to end the abuse he put you through, you tried feeling pleasure from the trauma he was putting you through.

Then you feel it. The feeling of you cumming alongside your cunt getting filled. You let out a choked gasp, Jason groaning as he filled you to the brim. His hand grabbed at your ass as he hissed. He pulled out watching as a dribbles of his cum dropped from your abused cunt. He quickly pushed it back into you with two thick fingers. Jason snickered before pulling up his boxers, leaving his jeans on the ground.

“Clean up in here, I'm getting back on the game.”

Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @fangirl-death-rose @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops

[summercreolefanfictioner]

diabolik lovers modern college au general headcanons (sakamaki brothers)

• the sakamaki bros don't live in the same house, except for the triplets bcos cordelia is the only legal wife of karl in this au (she's the first wife after all)

• shuu lives in one of beatrix's old condo unit while reiji in one of karl's mini house (yeah he has that house all by himself bcos kaaaaarl)

• subaru lives in the university dorm bcos he doesn't like relying on karl (well except for christa's meds bcos she went insane and all that sht so karl might as well pay for that)

• despite going to the same university, the six of them don't cross paths often (except for the triplets and subaru bcos they like to rile him up and tease him endlessly like a torture)

• since this is modern college au, all characters are aged up (shuu is 22, reiji is 21, the triplets are 20, and subaru is 19)

• despite being the oldest, shuu is stuck in his second year bcos he kept repeating most of his law electives (he would rather slack off than pass his law course wtf and it usually takes around 4-5 yrs to finish)

• all bros were mandated by karl to take at least one business elective per year bcos they might be working under his corporation in the near future (ayato's major is business so he has no escape)

• reiji is an exception to this rule bcos he had been granted by karl to focus only on neurosurgery since "he's the only son who doesn't disrespect me" (tbh it was only a ruse by karl since he has no reasons to make reiji his heir despite him being a genius 💀💀💀)

• ayato is so famous in the university like his red hair stands out and his status as the university's most popular basketball player made him the school IT boy

• but bcos he's a varsity player, he's not often at school so he had to take weekend classes (this is also another reason why most of his exes are either girls who watched his game or they're students from other univ or college)

• his famous relationship tho was with a rich girl who's also the main dancer of a popular cheerleading squad from a rival school (ayato broke up with her due to the immense pressure of social media and her fans)

• ayato is also the eternal chauffer of his two bros like hello let him flaunt that red sports car baby (laito and kanato have their own cars; they just don't like driving that much)

• kanato studies forensic mortuary in the same bldg as ayato and reiji; the law bldg is a separate institution from them so they have no idea what shuu was doing

• except for kanato bcos he likes lounging in the music room singing scarborough fair and bcos his voice is so relaxing, shuu listens to it for free (kanato secretly hates that shuu does it tho bcos it reminds him too much of cordelia and her shtty ways of traumatizing him)

• laito is studying hotel and restaurant management on another bldg and it's the farthest one from all his bros (like you have to pass by 4 or 5 larger bldgs before you reach their institution)

• this is bcos ryoutei university has their own dedicated hotel and restaurant for students with courses related to said industry

• so yeah maya (aka my oc/kanato's s/o) sees laito more often than her own boyfriend in the campus

• laito always has exes in every course like there would be 3 or 4 girls under the same course that have already slept with him what a slut

• and yes there is a huge possibility laito, subaru, and shuu have dated the same girl bcos these three would only date the same type of girl (the pure looking one who secretly has lewd desires and digs bad boys like them)

• it was a shock for yui when she found out half of the girls from her class have slept with laito

• then laito told her he likes corrupting pure girls and toying with their minds until they become insane and dependent on him (sounds canon, no?)

• there was a time when laito dated one of kanato's professors and she ended up dealing with kanato's incessant and murderous glares every time she teaches their class. his reason? bcos "she reeks so much of that perverted laito"

• the sbros actually had this same english prof who randomly fails someone despite their intelligence bcos he likes exerting his power like that

• while some of them threaten him using the sakamaki name, kanato had to disguise as a girl and seduce the sht out of this perverted teacher (the old geezer was so hooked he just believed this girl was kanato's twin substituting for his bro bcos he was 'sick')

• speaking of which, subaru got attracted to kanato's alter ego like once upon a time he saw her daintly pick up her bag and tuck her hair behind her ear and boom heart arrows everywhere

• afterward, subaru asked kanato who was that one chick at his class with the long black hair dressing like a sexy lolita

• "oh, you mean me?"

• subaru had nightmares after that

• and yes kanato uses that info to blackmail him to do his bidding

• "if you don't do what I say, I'll tell everyone you fell in love with my alter ego"

• oh btw subaru's major is more on athletics? like he wanted to be a PE or sports instructor/coach in the future bcos accdg to him "fighting is the only thing I'm good at"

• his allowance is mostly spent on repairs on the dorm tho (guess punching walls ain't limited in the family house)

• the reality of his dream is beginning to weigh on him tho bcos some students are scared shtless of him and his violent tendencies

• laito became one of his students one time when he was assigned to be an assistant coach

• "waaahh subaru-kun your expression is so scary pls be gentle"

• reiji actually dated someone from ayato's class bcos her father has huge connections with famous neurosurgeons

• shuu keeps a video of one of his exes doing some cowgirl sht on him (he likes her moans that's why)

• all of kanato's exes studied in the same bldg as him; and yes, they are all from yui's course but each of them from different years and classes (he is picky like that)

• up to this day, reiji looks down on this one female classmate who dated shuu like what does she see in that good-for-nothing (well uhh his huge d-)

• accdg to both kanato and laito, yui is the loudest girl ayato has been with (kanato swore one day he'll stuff her mouth with socks until she chokes if she keeps moaning so loud while he's watching his fave murder docu series)

• ayato keeps teasing both reiji and subaru as virgins (they aren't tho; but despite their tough facade, their experiences are quite hmmm minimal so there are things they don't know)

• shuu almost dated this one classmate of kanato (almost bcos she keeps talking abt those dead people she handled with formaldehyde which is gross so he was turned off a bit)

• the triplets are usually the representatives of karl during his corporate and family parties (sometimes the other three will drop by... well mostly reiji but the other two must've been forced by karl somehow)

• there was a drunk scandal video of the triplets and subaru where subaru was driving while kanato and ayato kept making fun of him

• then kanato was video calling maya and asking her to come over and "watch a movie with him" while ayato was making delusions of aliens flying around the car, almost causing subaru to drive the wrong way

• laito was sitting beside subaru, reprimanding ayato to stop his delusions bcos there were no aliens but only flying trees (ayo what?)

• there's a part 2 but this time shuu and reiji were in the car and shuu kept laughing at ayato bcos subaru's driving is getting messed up bcos of the alien shenanigans

• and reiji was crying bcos apparently all of them are going to die and also bcos kanato is finally talking "properly" to a girl (what do you mean properly he is being a pervert)

• he also said "laito has finally seen the light and started being the good son"

• yui is actually the one filming all this videos tho

ps. I might make memes abt modern college au later on

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 20/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 21, PART 22

Like ketchup. Slowly then all at once.

Radioapple!

--------------------------------------------------

Lucifer still feels like he's underwater, floating where the current takes him. He thinks he's dreaming because his eyes refuse to open all the way.

At least he isn't burning anymore.

It's mostly quiet, the only sound he can hear is the sloshing of the water.

It's calm. He doesn't know how long has it been since he's been calm in the quiet without company.

Once in a while though, he hears voices. The waves carry them in weird intervals and he tries very hard to think who is talking.

'You'll be okay, Luci.'

'I'll do everything to make you comfortable and back to full health.'

'AN HONOR TO SERVE YOU, SIRE. DO GET BETTER. I SHALL GIVE YOU THE BEST SERVANT THE GOETIA CAN PROVIDE.'

'Big bro, if you wake up now, I'll give you a lifetime supply of my juice!'

'Okay fine, I'll change Looloo Land's name fo real, yeah?'

'You need to meet Fizzie still, Luci.'

'Don't worry sir! I didn't touch a single duck in your room when I cleaned it. No more bugs though!'

'Zestial and I give our deepest gratitude in behalf of the overlords, Your Majesty.'

'Charlie is a fast learner.'

'Oh, Your Majesty, do wake up. I don't think I can take any more of Alastor's not-rambling. I love me some romance but whooowee, a woman has her limits, yknow!'

'I don't think I can eva' thank ya enough fo' setting me free, short king.'

'Pretty badass, your kingness.''

'I want to get to know you still sir.'

'Darling, do come back to me now. I miss you so. And do not listen to any of Rosie's lies.'

'Dad, please wake up. I need you.'

The last voice caused the calm waters to turn into a whirlpool and he feels himself being pulled down. A bright light appears in front of him, illuminating the deep, dark waters. And for a moment, just a moment, he thinks- no it couldn't be;

He reaches out a hand to touch but as soon as it did, he was propelled to the surface.

Lucifer wakes up slowly and then all at once. The King blinks in confusion and trying to get his eyesight to clear. A blurry figure of white is the first to greet him; no face but it's smiling?

'Father?'

Charlie: Dad!

Huh?

Lucifer: Charlie?

He winces at the state of his voice. Did he scream himself sore? He tries remembering what happened and-

The roots.

Roo.

A ritual.

Charlie.

Hell.

Sloth.

Goodie.

The deal.

A prophecy.

A sudden pain stabbed his head which caused him to groan.

Lucifer: Shit!

He forces himself to sit up just to relieve it a little. A rubbing hand on his back grounds him a bit. Looking up, he came face-to-face with his daughter. His sweet, lovely, Charlie.

Charlie: Woah, Dad. Take it easy. Here have water and some pain meds. Aunt Bel left it here just in case.

He doesn't need to be told twice as he took the pill, noting the bitter taste in his mouth. Pride be damned (ha! get it?), he just wants the pain to go away.

Charlie is still fussing and talking a million miles per hour and Lucifer doesn't have the heart to make her stop even though his head is about to split in half.

Maybe Charlie will forgive him if he snaps right now. Thankfully that doesn't happen as a new person comes to enter his room.

Alastor: Charlie, dear, I think your father would appreciate a quieter room.

Charlie: - Oh, Al! Right! Sorry, dad.

Lucifer: It's okay, applepie. Can you also dim the lights a bit?

Alastor: Charlie, might I ask of you to get food for your father? There should be some leftovers still.

Charlie: O-oh I- Sure, Al! Be right back, dad!

As soon as she left, Alastor moves to Lucifer's bedside. Lucifer follows his movements and only then does the King realize the insane amount of flowers taking up every space in his room. And then he realized that Alastor has some in his hands too.

Lucifer: What's all this?

Alastor: Why, tokens from your loved ones and dearest citizens. These ones are of mine.

The Radio Demon points at the golden Marigolds. Lucifer observes the other flowers and sees that every bunch has atleast a few Marigolds tucked in them.

Did.. did Alastor put them there so he could have the most flowers given? What a possessive bastard.

His endearment must be obvious in his face because Alastor huffed- freaking huffed!

Alastor: Whatever you are thinking, it is simply nonsense.

Lucifer puts his hands up in a mock surrender.

Lucifer: I didn't say anything.

Alastor: Good.

Alastor can be so cute when he wants (or not want?) to be. His lover? partner? Yeah, partner, sits down by his side, letting Lucifer lean onto his shoulder.

He's not soft like Lilith but Lucifer feels just as content. The sin of Pride stares at his arms that is now covered in runes he doesn't understand, no longer just plain black. Roo really did a number on him- her powers were far too strong it basically altered his appearance. He's more demon now than he was ever an angel. He doesn't know how to feel about that.

Alastor: Some things are to be discussed, right, Your Majesty?

Lucifer: Mmm. Yeah. But- I can't. Not right now. I'm not sure if I can.

Alastor: That's alright, mon ange. We are not in a hurry. We have our afterlife.

Lucifer bites his lip and holds Alastor's hands in guilt. This is a burden he must carry himself. What's inside him... it would be more dangerous if anyone else knew, especially Heaven. It's better to think of it as a wild card than a ticking time bomb.

Alastor hums a tune that makes him sleepy again. He doesn't remember falling asleep but he does vaguely recall being laid down again. He remembers a feeling of a kiss on his forehead, something brushing his cheek and moving his hair.

A nice calm before the storm.

---------------------------------------------------

Charlie took so long cos she wanted to heat it up but the microwave is missing?? (Alastor's doing)

Next chapter, Luci will wake again and have a talk with Charlie

Just wanted to get some Radioapple in there.

[athenamikaelson]

War of Scars Pt. 3

Word Count- 2.6k

Warnings- Swearing, mentions of injury

Four days have passed since I last argued with Keiko. I know she has come by the med cabin a few times daily, but Alastair has turned her back around each time. I hear him tell her the same thing each time,

“Give her some time to cool off and regain her strength. Then you can come to bother her again.”

At first, Keiko had tried to get by him, but after the 4th time, she just wordlessly leaves once he tells her to go. A small part of me feels bad for turning away from her. Then I remember all the lies she told me and that small ounce of sadness contorts back to anger. 

A small silver lining these past few days though has been my nurse, or guardian angel as he calls himself, Alastair. Even though he’s the same age as me and has the personality of a rabid ferret, he has been very attentive to me and my healing process. Always checking up on me in the morning and even coming in to keep me company throughout the rest of the day. Most of the time it’s him talking to me about the latest gossip at camp or which cabins to stay clear of. Most of the time I stare at the window by my bed while he does this, barely listening to what he says. He doesn’t seem to notice, or if he has he doesn’t seem to care, since he still finds a way to talk my ear off with everything and nothing at the same time. 

Right now Alastair is trying to ease my bandaged arm into the grey sweatshirt, one of his friends lent him. As Alastair said he would never be caught dead in such a dreary color as grey. 

“I don’t know why we can’t just stay here for a little longer,” I look up to Alastair whose eyebrows are scrunched together in concentration as he eases the rest of the sweatshirt over my shoulders, “We can just stay here and I’ll even let you tell me all about the boy in Cabin 5 who pranked Aphrodite’s cabin or whatever.”

Alastair rolls his blue eyes dusts invisible dirt off my shoulders and brushes my hair away from my face.

“Nope. No can do. Chiron needs to speak with you, and besides you’re all healed so you’ll be moving into the Hermes cabin and out of here.”

I look over to the bed I’ve been sleeping in for the past few weeks and a sense of sadness fills me at the thought. 

“Do I have to move into another cabin? Can’t I stay here for another night?”

Alastair sends me a small smile and moves his hand to the small of my back as he guides me to the front door of the med cabin. I halt at the realization that I haven’t been outside of this cabin since the Chimera attack. I start to blink heavily as my vision starts to blur and my breathing gets faster. 

“Woah, woah just breathe bro! You can’t seriously like this cabin that much,” Alastair rubs his hand up and down my right shoulder soothingly as he tries to joke with me.

“Don’t worry about it ok? We can take as long as you need, and if you’re worried about everyone staring at you, don’t, ok. Most people will be staring at me because I have that effect on people,” He sends me a smirk, “and those who are staring at you just are curious about the girl who survived Zeus’ lightning. After a few days though someone new will enter camp and they’ll be in the spotlight.”

I nod my head slowly as I stand there for a moment and take a deep breath. I open my eyes and send a small nod at Alastair telling him I’m ok. I’m totally not, but he doesn’t need to worry about me anymore. Alastair grasps the handle of the door and lets me walk outside first. 

The bright light is the first thing that enters my vision, momentarily stopping me. I bring my hands up to rub my eyes and continue my steps onto the wooden porch. I glance around to see woods surrounding the med cabin and groups of kids of all ages wearing orange t-shirts running around. None of them seem to notice me though as they all seem to be in their worlds, conversing with one another. 

“Chiron said he would be at the archery field so it shouldn’t be that far of a walk from here.” 

Alastair says as he passes me, and hops down the steps as if he is high on life, or high on something else. This wouldn’t surprise me since no one can be as happy-go-lucky as this kid has been since the moment I met him. 

Alastair and I make our way down a path that a few other kids who appear to be a bit younger than us are also walking on. A bright green forest surrounds us as birds chirp in the air and a light breeze flows through my hair. Alastair walks beside me with a pep in his step and a tune coming from his lips. Every person that’s passed us so far has expressed their excitement to see him which he reciprocates. But, as soon as the other people notice me their attention turns to the light bruises on my face and my covered arm. That excitement quickly dissipates as they walk away, whispering to each other. 

After more whispers and passing glances with the orange-shirted strangers Alastair and I make it to a clearing that opens up to a field filled with kids and archery equipment. As I stare at the field filled with kids the building anxiety I’ve felt begins to burst at the seams. 

“Ah, Y/N it’s nice to see you walking around.”

A deep voice comes from behind Alastair and I. I turn around and my mouth drops open as I stare at the man-horse thing in front of us. 

“You didn’t tell her what I was did you.” 

The man-horse thing smiles down at me after he questions Alastair. I keep staring at him with my mouth open though.

“Oops, I did not,” Alastair turns to me and hisses my name at me as he puts his hand under my chin and pushes up to close my mouth, “Close your mouth girl, damn.”

“It’s quite alright Alastair. I have had much more intense reactions from new campers,” Horse-Man says to him as he glances back at me, “It’s nice to meet you Y/N. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. I hope Alastair has been suitable company for you in your time of healing.”

I hear a gasp of surprise and hurt come from Alastair as he starts going on about how he is insulted Chiron would think anything bad of his company. I’m not too focused on Alastair though as I try to make sense of the Man-horse in front of me. No. Not Man-horse, Chiron. His name is Chiron. 

“I’m Chiron, the activities director here at camp, I am also a centaur which you’ve noticed. I’ve asked Alastair to bring you here so I can give you a personal tour of Camp myself,” Chiron turns to Alastair, “Thank you Alastair for your help. You are free to go.”

I quickly glance at Alastair when I realize the closest thing I have to a friend here at camp is leaving me. Wait, no. Not a friend. He was only with me to help me heal. Now that I’m healed he’ll go back to helping other broken and bruised kids. 

I turn back around, not facing him, and watch some of the kids run around.

“Hey don’t get all moody on me again, Brat.”

Alastair flicks me behind my ear to get my attention. 

“I’ll come to check on you when you’re all settled into the Hermes cabin. My friend lives there too so I’ll make sure he gives you the best attention.”

I look into Alastair's eyes waiting to see some sort of pity or annoyance at the idea of visiting me, but I see nothing but a smile in his eyes. 

“Ya, Ok,” I send him a small nod. 

__________________

“And this is the mess hall, campers come here for arts and crafts and other weekly activities put on by the cabins.” 

I glance at the tall building in front of me that has kids coming and going. Chiron has shown me most of the camp by now, explaining each building and function. We’ve passed many campers, almost all of who’ve given me the same mix of pity and wariness that I’d seen from the campers earlier today with Alastair. 

Chiron leads me down a narrow path towards to cabins as a question enters my mind about something Alastair had said.

“Alastair mentioned something about me surviving Zeus’ lightning bolt,” I strain my neck to glance up at Chiron who’s stopped walking, “What did he mean by that?” 

I watch as a flurry of emotions passes through Chiron’s face as he looks at me. 

“We don’t if what happened to you was Zeus’ doing. It is just a rumor that some of the campers have been talking about. You shouldn’t worry too much about it.” 

A frown makes its way onto my face at Chiron’s dismissive tone as he keeps walking, clearly done with the question. 

“There are 12 cabins in Camp Half-Blood. Three of which no one resides in. As you have not been claimed by your Godly parent, you’ll be staying in Cabin Eleven, Hermes’ cabin.”

I lightly jog to catch up with Chiron, trying not to agitate the stitches on my back. 

“What do you mean, claimed?”

Chiron glances down at me with a solemn look. 

“Claiming is when your godly mother or father claims you as their own. This can be done by completing a quest or by simply participating in a game of Capture the Flag.”

I nod at what he says and continue my walk. 

“You’re not going to ask anything else about claiming?”

I shrug at Chiron’s question and shake my head.

“Why should I care?”

This question gains Chiron’s attention. 

“Most campers question when they’re going to get claimed by their godly parent.”

I stare at Chiron for a moment as a sense of agitation and anger forms in the bottom of my gut. 

“Why would I care about being claimed by a God that never even cared to let me know they existed? One who let me get attacked by some creature, and one who let me be raised by people I thought were my family, but were really just strangers!”

Chiron stares at me with raised eyebrows.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t talk like that. The gods don’t like to be talked badly about.” 

That anger has now been built into something big at hearing Chiron’s words. 

“I don’t give a flying fuck. If my parent has a problem with the way I talk about them, then they can get off their ass and tell me themselves.”

I spit out at Chiron as I start stomping away from him. After a moment Chiron walks up to me. 

“You don’t know where you’re going, do you?”

I huff out in annoyance and throw my hands up, “No!”

I tense up at the feeling of a hand on my shoulder, the same shoulder that is now heavily scarred. Chiron must notice my apprehension as he takes his hand away. 

“I know all of this can be a lot, especially after everything you went through. It’s got to be a lot to deal with and you’re anger is understandable. Just try to channel that energy into something production.”

I roll my eyes at his words, “Ya, like what?”

“Whatever interest you have, any hobbies. Something that makes you feel like the old you again.”

I let Chiron’s words hang in the air as we approach a big wooden cabin, with many rowdy kids coming through the huge oak doors. 

Chiron leads me up the steps and opens the main door for me to walk through. I was expecting to see something impressive and god-like to go with Greek mythology but all I’m met with is a normal summer camp cabin filled with bunkbeds and kids of all ages. 

“Attention campers,” Chiron yells from beside me gaining the cabin's attention and eliciting a groan to escape my lips, “This is Y/N Thomas, she’s had a hard past few weeks here at camp and I want all of you to show her kindness.” 

I watch as many of the campers give me weary or questionable looks, whilst others look as if my presence is a mere annoyance but after a moment they all turn around and go back to their previous conversations. 

“We’re low on beds at the moment so we have a sleeping bag set up with your things in the corner of the room,” Chiron goes to take his leave but he turns to face me once more, “And Y/N, if you have any more questions please feel free to come to find me. And remember what I said about finding an outlet.”

I stand silently as I watch Chiron exit the cabin, leaving me standing in the entryway by myself. 

“Is it comfortable?” 

A deep voice comes from behind me and my eyebrows scrunch at the odd question. I turn around to make eye contact with a pair of deep brown eyes. The owner of the brown eyes is a boy who appears to be a little older than me. Brown curly hair hangs over his forehead, in a way that many couldn’t pull off without looking like they’d need a haircut, but somehow he makes it work. The boy has long eyelashes and full pink lips. The last thing that catches my attention is the scar that starts from the bottom of his right eye and stops right above his lips. Lips that have now started to curve into a small smirk. Fuck. Im staring. 

“What did you just ask me?”

The boy’s smirk turns into a small smile as he gestures to my hoodie.

“I asked if it is comfortable, you’re sweatshirt,” The boy stops and shrugs his shoulders, “Well technically my sweatshirt.”

I glance down at the grey sweatshirt that covers my torso and a wave of embarrassment flows through me. 

“You’re Alastair’s friend?” 

I ask him even though I already know the answer. 

“Ya, Alastair’s a buddy of mine. He asked to borrow a sweatshirt for one of his patients.”

I stare at the boy for a moment before reaching for the bottom of the sweatshirt and go to lift it realizing this kid probably wants his clothes back and doesn’t want a stranger wearing it. Dread fills me though stopping my movement as I realize that I’m just wearing a tank top underneath this and my bandage would be on show if I were to take the sweatshirt off. 

“Hey, don’t worry about giving it back,” The boy takes the bottom of the sweatshirt out of my hands and lets it drop back into place, “You keep it as long as you need.” 

I stare at the boy and take a fast step away from him.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t even know who you are.”

The boy stares at me for a moment with an inquisitive look as his eyes shift over my face and then he takes a small step backwards. 

“Okay… No touching, got it. My bad,” He stares at me again and smiles, “Luke, my name is Luke Castellan. Counselor of Cabin Eleven. And it is nice to meet you, Y/N Thomas. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.”

Taglist-

@wannabewolf @ashisabitgay @luvvfromme @potatochip-111

[itspdameronthings]

Urgent Care

Summary: Wrote this for @romanarose who's not feeling well. Reader is sick,and has to go to Urgent Care little does she knows? Reader would meet a hunky nurse. Feel better soon @romanarose

 In a horrible state! Vomiting, cramps and shit! All I could do is try to keep anything down. Until my roommate took me to the urgent care near us. Thankfully it's a 24hr one. Was shaking even though it was a humid night. Teeth chattering while I was filling out information from. Wasn't long till a nurse took me back to check my vitals. Not knowing I'll be meeting a hunk of a man even if in a sicken state. Looked up just a moment to see his handsome face. Soothing , deep voice asked me,” okay, see ya vomiting and cramps? Oh not good. Let me take your temperature. “ Upon looking at the results. A frown on his pretty face,” oh honey, ya burnin up. Here's what I prescribed. Give ya some meds to take. Come back to see me if ya don't feel any better. Ask for Benny Miller kay? Now, sit tight. Be back.” 

Omg! That voice is like velvet! Soothing!  Oh wish I could see more of him! Only thing to remember is his voice! Followed by his touch when he handed me my meds. Followed by instructions,and follow up if I needed it. Then helped me up so I could walk towards the waiting room door where my roommate rushed over,” I got her. Thanks for your help.” He told her the same thing he told me. After we got home. She whispers to me while helping me to my bathroom for a cool bath,” oh that nurse is hot as fuck! Tall, blondish brown hair! Grrr.. love to have him when I get sick!” 

After my bath. Got into bed. Sleep came rather quickly. Dreamed about that nurse. Remember the description of him. Dream about him taking care of me by laying next to me. Touching me with gentiest touch on my warm face with a cool cloth talking to me about anything at all. Oh to see him again. 

Flashforward a few weeks. Finally got to go out after being ill for so long. Was working at my register cleaning up since we were closing soon. Familiar voice ,” Are ya opened?” Looked up to see him! Omg! Couldn't talk for a moment. Cleared my throat,” Ya , I'm certainly open.Your my last customer of the night. “ He replied,” I'm glad . By lookin at ya see you're all better from your illness. So glad. I'm Benny if ya don't remember.” Blushed as I scanned his items. Afterwards we chatted till it was time to close. What happened next surprised me! He waited for me! Followed me to my car ,and asked for my phone . Which he typed in his number,” text me when ya get home. Don't worry . Not workin right now.” Walked towards his Jeep winked at me as he drove away. 

Laying in my bed reading till my phone pings. Smile on my face. Reading the text: 

Benny: hi! Hope you're not asleep. Up for a late night texting season? 

You: not sleeping yet. Just reading.  How about you? Saving a lot of lives ?

Benny : Oh a few here and there. Sorry I missed ya on your follow up. A fellow nurse told me that you were okay. Was worried about you when you came in that night. Lucky I got to see you tonight . 

That decoration made my heart jump! Quickly texted back: 

You: So sweet of you! A nurse named William Miller told me you were with a very ill toddler. 

Benny: Oh! Ya met my older brother then. Glad he took care of ya 

You: He did. We talked for a while. Tell me  about your time in the Army. That you were a fighter? 

Benny: Yeah. Need a change. That's when I went to nursing school. Glad to be working with my bro. So tell me about you.

We texted for a while till both of us were getting tired. He asked if I was off tomorrow. Told him I was. Asked where I live. That surprised him since we live in the same building! Floor above me! What! How can I miss him!  Now I can't sleep! Can't wait to be with him! 

Few months later. I moved in with Benny. After finishing my medical billing course I got a job at the same urgent Care Benny works at. Typing away on the computer didn't feel a pair of string hands on my shoulder,” how about a break sugar? I'm starvin. How about we go to Waterburger for a burger and fries. It's my turn to pay.” getting up to tell others in the office I'll be back. Looking back, I was so glad I came here. Wouldn't have met Benny. Guess being sick was a good thing. 

[lettingthoughtsflow]

season 1: episode 1 (crush, chop, & burn pt. 1)

alright y'all I'm bulletpointing as I watch so let's go!!

the whole "mrs. and mr. davenport" beginning scene is literally seared into my brain from childhood-i think it's funny how clearly i remember it

when we meet the team they're in these mission suit esque things and seeing as all they do is train, is that what they live in????

davenport saying "i don't want to brag, but i am incredibly smart" when introducing the kids is so wild when you consider the fact that he probably didn't have anything to do with making the kids

i love how offended they get when tasha calls them robots

tasha and leo have such a cute relationship i freaking love it

i know we hate donald, and rightfully so, but this episode really amps me up bc dude you are literally introducing them to your wife and you keep talking about them like plants you're growing

when donald is introducing the kids, tasha's the only one recognizing that they're children

"i wanna go upstairs" 😭

they literally never leave the room, it's not just because of filming and set design, they don't even have a place to run THERE'S A RAT WHEEL

@fairytalesociology said that davenport feeds the kids glorified dog food and they're so right

you can't just feed them food??? even preordered????

they eat, sleep, and bathe in their capsules no one can convince me the man was just looking to be cost effective in getting these inventions perfected (they were not children to him AT ALL)

bree is just a girl and i love her for it bc thinking about breaking into song/dance numbers is so real

If you pay attention to the background you can see chase playing with a random locker for a while and I think it’s so funny/cute

Honestly I with it opened and he was just using his bionic hearing to unlock the locker

i just noticed leo has brown paper wrapped around his textbooks and it reminds me of when my mom and i use to make book covers out of trader joes bags and decorate them 💗

baby chase was insterested in chess club and taking med school courses, he deserved more extracurriculars and hobbies in the show

the early heat vision graphics 😅

"i know a chiropractor in the phillipines" is so cute

davenport is awful but the freaking out performances are great

30 grand for a situation to go away is insane bc what really happened??? like yeah the mascot's head caught on fire but it wasn't like they destroyed the building. and even if it was a bribe to get rid of witnesses, you'd have to adress the entire school bc it was a pep rally

tasha being a mom to the kids is so cute like yeah, they're just kids

bree immediately getting excited about the party with tasha is freaking adorable, we deserved more Tasha fr

honestly i think she was more freaked out about the kids than their bionics

lecturing them about how they were designed for missions is so disheartening bc 1. you've probably told them all about how they're top sercret their whole lives and 2. they are superHUMANS

it honestly feels akin to when a parent tells a child they have to be perfect or pushes them into a career they never wanted

yes bc having no contact with the outside world will prevent their glitches and train them for missions (not to mention real life)

obviously it's the perfect solution

honestly if they socialized they would probably have better emotional regulation and control over their glitches. like you could have at least brought them to a company party (and told everyone to treat them as humans) so they have practice talking to people.

chase really was always in blue plaid from the start huh?

"they are not just science projects, they're teenagers" TELL HIM QUEEN

bro you're going to tell me that you can't reprogram your ROBOT FRIEND to like your WIFE

like he can still be snarky but he literally hates her

i really hope someone gets this, but there are a few scenes where Adam feels more like a regular person than just someone who's core personality is being kind of dumb and reckless, and the ending scene before everyone goes to bed is one of those few scenes

[i-cant-sing]

Did you always know that you were going to be a dentist? And have you ever had a root canal before? Apparently I have to get one and I’m scared 😭

if there was ONE thing that i knew i wasnt gonna be- it was a dentist. i never went to a dentist until i was what- 18? That too for a cleaning. all i remember was my mom taking me and my bro to a free dental camp when we were kids, and all i saw was children with gauzes in their mouths and one side of their face swollen because they had a tooth extracted and they were CRYING!!!! and this one girl kept on pulling the gauze out of her mouth and her mom like warned her not to do it 3 times, but then when she tried to pull it out a 4th time, her mom SMACKED her face right in front of everyone- and i thought thats just a universal experience to anyone who went to the dentist. i did not let go of my mom's leg and begged her to lets just leave (thankfully we did, and fortunately neither me or my bro had cavities)

anyways, fast forward to applying for med or dental school. i thought i was dumb for both. i wanted to go to med school but the one i wanted to go to, i didnt get in. BUT the same school was offering me a seat in dental school so i got in, because it is one of the best dental schools in the country and also cause i wanted to save up on fuel because my bro went to medschool at that place.

honestly, i never thought i wanted to become a doctor. i always dreamt of going in arts, graphic designing or becoming a writer. I've always loved writing and reading stories, as a child i was soooo into horror stories- like any adult who would be telling a horror story and i'd be in a trance, staring at them without blinking as they spoke, as if i was the one who was in the story. then yall know the "english teacher praising your writing skills" lore and that really made me interested in stories.

There was this one line from x men where as the movie ends, xavier says "but every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward" and i thought it was SICKEST line ever. best believe i wrote that shit in the end of every story/essay and the teachers ate it up.

but then dad had already told everyone that i was gonna be a doctor, so.... yeah, i couldnt let him down because- he made it so public. it was intense. also i became a doctor because if i chose to become anything else, everyone wouldve constantly compared me with my brother because "he's the doctor, so he's smart. and youre just sooo dumb snow" and yeah.... i guess that was stupid because i dont really care what people think of me now, respect me or not. at the end of the day, only Allah can give or take away your respect. literally no one else can do anything.

as for the root canal, ive never had one done, but ive studied all about it. if its done by a good dentist, youre all good. get it done.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

.Dead asleeP.

Title: Chapter 3: N3 Prompt: You were peacefully sleeping when you suddenly wake up to the sound of a heart monitor steadily beeping somewhere nearby, and realize you are in the med-bay with no memory of what happened prior to this. // After watching movies with your siblings all night and passing out in the tv room, you wake up to find that you're alone. What happened? Fandom: ROTTMNT Word Count: 5806 Author: PhoebePheebsPhibs Rating: Gen Characters: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (disembodied voices) Warning: Derealization, nightmare-ish stuff (Leo is stuck in a dream) Summary: Leo deals with the inconvenience of being stuck in a dream and getting reacquainted with the 'ghosts' that follow him. Notes: More chapters to follow (3 more, to be exact)

@shr00mi3writefight @tmnt-write-fight @that-0n3-shr00mi3

Posted to AO3 <-

Leo strode through the maze of death fairly easily. Yes, there were traps and snares and mystical kitchen supplies, but for the most part he went through unnoticed.

"I don't remember it being this easy," Leo muttered.

"It wasn't," a voice reminded flatly. "Remember, everyone stay together. Draxum said something about drifting off --"

"So... what happens when I reach the center of the maze? Do I win, or...?"

"I'm not sure," one of the voices mused. "Just let us know if you feel any different, okay?"

"Okay," Leo nodded. "So... how do we know each other? Outside of the dream world?"

"We're very close. We're family."

"What do you mean?" Leo half-chuckles. "I think Splinter would tell me and my bros if we had any extended fam."

"What?"

"Or are you, like, my turtle parents? You mentioned... I think you said 'Barry', as in Baron Draxum, so maybe you're other mutants or something? Or... are you related to Drax?"

 Leo turned left, then right, then left again. He could almost see the center of the maze coming up. But the voices were quiet. Leo could sense their discomfort.

"What? What? Hey, what did I say?" he asked nervously.

"...It's nothing. You just kind of... glossed over the obvious."

"Obvious?" Leo questions. "How? I basically went through every option!"

"I think all we can tell you at this point is that we're family," one of the voices stated. "I don't think you'd be able to hear anything more detailed than that."

"Why not?!" Leo grumbled, kicking at a stone angrily. "Why can't you tell me?!"

"We're not the ones doing it!" another voice chimed in. "We've been TRYING to tell you everything this whole time, Nardo!"

"You haven't told me anything! And nobody calls me Nardo but Donnie!" Leo snapped back.

And then the realization snapped him right back in the face.

"...No one but Donnie has ever... Family, you said you're... obvious... Oh my gosh, I am so stupid. Donnie... is... is that you?"

Silence.

"H-hey, Don-Tron, don't go silent on me now! I figured it out! I know who you are, I know -- I-I'm sorry for getting mad! Please, d-don't leave me again! Come back! Donnie? M-Mikey? Raph? Are you guys..."

Leo came upon the end of the maze, a giant statue of gold at its epicenter.

"...there...?"

The center of this maze was not the same as the real one at all. For one thing, it wasn't in the center of the maze at all. Either that, or the maze had been carved in half. Just beyond the statue, the Hidden City and its magical town square awaited him.

His eyes glossed over. He felt so tired and sluggish. Leo's mind was cleansed, his memories of the pizzeria and the events prior were wiped clear.

"...Oh, hey! The Hidden City! I've always wanted to sight-see here!"

Leo ran out of the maze giddily and approached a brochure stand.

"Excuse me, do you have any sites you'd recommend for a bona fide hero like myself? Maybe something exciting, or daring, or maybe even a relaxing spa?"

"First time here?" the Yokai asked from behind the counter.

"No, no no no no no no no no no. No." Leo huffed and puffed out his chest proudly. "It's my eighth time!"

"It's your 13th time, dum-dum."

Leo looked around nervously.

"Did you hear that?"

"Oh-ho, no, we're NOT going through this again..."

"Hear what, kid?" the Yokai asked, shuffling through supplies as Leo whirled around in circles, anxiously searching for the source of the apparition.

"That voice, I --"

"Leo, long story short, you're stuck in a dream-world that's all fake. We're trying to help you escape."

"But, what --"

"Every time you get to a new area, your memory restarts."

"And we can't tell you who we are for some reason because... uh... mystic curses are weird?"

"But what, kid?" the Yokai gruffed.

Leo looked back at her, confused. He blinked, trying to process it all. There was a flood of emotions running through him, each one tethered to a soul that was not his own, but strangely connected to his. Frustration, hope, irritation, redundancy, resignation --

"Um... never mind. I think I just went temporarily insane."

"Oh, COME ON!"

There was the frustration again.

"Look, do you want the brochure or not?" the Yokai stall-keeper growled, waving the paper in Leonardo's face.

"I'll take it," Leo said quickly, snatching the map and walking away briskly.

Once he was out of earshot of the Yokai, Leo hissed at the ghosts.

"Okay, weird brain ghosts -- what is going on?!"

"We've already told you. THREE TIMES OVER BY NOW," one huffed with exasperation. "Okay. Just... calm down, we all need to calm down... Alright. From the top. Leo: you are trapped in a dreamworld. Nothing is real, but it's trying to keep you here. It's TRAPPED YOU. We used a magic spell to infiltrate your dreams so that we could help wake you up!"

"How?"

"Well, first off we had to draw these really cool symbols around your bed and --"

"N-no, I mean how am I supposed to wake up?" Leo corrected.

"Oh. Well, according to Mikey -- er, according to the most mystically-inclined of us, we help you get through a certain amount of dreams like levels in a video game."

"How many?" Leo asked.

"Um... I... don't remember. Barry said it had something to do with the whole... sleep cycle?"

"Oh, he was referring to REM and NREM, which means there will be five. Or, well, three now that we've gotten through two of them already," a ghost with a nerdy voice interjects. "Sleep comes in cycles, you see. It starts off with awake-slash-alert, and progressively gets deeper and deeper. After awake and alert, then comes N1, then N2, N3, and finally the REM, which stands for 'Rapid Eye Movement'. Rem is when you have dreams."

"And NREM?" Leo asked, curious. "What's that?"

"NREM is 'Non-Rapid Eye Movement'. It's just dreamless sleep, a time when the body rests and rejuvenates itself, repairing and regrowing tissue and rebuffing the immune system. Studies show that 75% of sleep is NREM. An interesting science fact, but REM periods are short, though the longer you spend asleep, the longer the REM periods will be!"

"Does that mean that the longer it takes us to get him through, the harder each level will get?" a nervous voice asks.

"...I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Leo asked, stuffing the brochure into his fanny pack. "Let's get going! Uh, do you guys know which way I should head?"

"Ooh, ooh, I do!" a cheery voice chimed in.

Leo watched with bewilderment as a fluttering golden light sparked before him, flying away and leaving a trail of shimmers in its gentle wake.

"Um... that was you, right?"

"That was Mikey. Uh, the mystically-inclined-light-guy one. He just ran off. He's not s'posed to, though."

"Not supposed to?"

"Well, Draxum said that getting off track would cause us to lose sight of what we're here for and pull us into the trap, but... if he's just looking for the way to the next dream, then I think it should be okay..."

"Cool, cool. Just so long as I'm not actually losing my mind... What do you mean by 'ran off'?"

"I mean that little beam of light WAS him."

"I thought I couldn't see you?" Leo wondered aloud. "What changed?"

"Mikey's been doing stuff like that the whole time. Anytime you see a golden light, that's him. You can't see what we actually look like, for some bizarre reason. You walk right through us."

"Have I been... walking right through you this whole time?"

"...Kinda."

"What does that even feel like?"

"Honestly, it doesn't feel like anything. And... I can't speak for the Mikey or Donnie, but it makes ME feel... lonely."

Leo swallowed sadly.

"...Sorry."

"Hey, it ain't your fault!" the voice kindly said. But their voice cracked, the vocal pitch shifted.

Leo felt a stifling, a sick knot in a stomach. The holding of breath, the looking away, a telltale sign that something was not as it seemed. Leo felt as though they were hiding something. Leo felt like there was a lie hidden somewhere. He tried to ignore it, and instead chased after the light, following the trail into the city streets. There were so many stalls and colourful people here, each one a personality extreme and boisterous. And each stranger Leo would have loved to get to know. He was a people person at heart, hence why he always took the role of 'face-man'.

"I didn't know that about you," one of the voices murmured.

"Didn't know what?"

"Oh did I forget to mention we can kinda read each other's' minds?"

"Wait, for real?!" Leo shouted as he stopped right in the middle of the street. "Are you kidding me?!"

"I never kid about ESP."

Leo fidgeted with his sash, adjusting and readjusting it as he swallowed the information given so nonchalantly to him.

"So what did you just hear?" he inquired.

"The people-person tidbit."

"Oh. Okay," he mumbled. Out of all the things he could think of, that was not the most embarrassing. "Now it's my turn! Think of something!"

"Well, uh, it... it doesn't really work like that..." the other voice responded.

"Oh, what? Boo! Totally unfair!" Leo complained. "How come you can hear my thoughts, but I can't hear yours?"

"Well, first off, we can't hear ALL your thoughts. Just the ones where you think to yourself, like a conversation. Secondly, you might not be able to read our minds, but you can feel our emotions."

"Huh?" Leo's stride slowed a bit, as he tried to understand.

"You can sense our presence, though you can't actually feel or see us," voice A explained. "Before, you could feel we were with you without being able to see or hear us at all! And Mikey -- the light guy -- said that you 'felt him' earlier. He'd made a beam of light around himself for you to follow. When you touched the light, you were actually holding his hand. You seemed to know who it was, and you even said his name! Mike was so excited..."

Leo slowly continued walking down the pathway, following the glittery sparkles that illuminated the path.

"...Can you do that?"

"Do what? Make light?"

"Yeah, can you make a light thing?"

"Why?"

"...No reason," Leo lied.

"He wants to be able to touch you, too," voice B snitched.

"Wha-hah-hat? No!" Leo opposed, laughing like a nervous wreck.

"I never kid about ESP."

"Narc," Leo grumbled.

Leo felt a swell of warmth. The sting of tears behind your eyes. Pride, longing, love. And then regret.

"Sorry, Leo. That's not my specialty."

"Specialty?" he probed. "What does that mean?"

"Mike-- The 'light guy' is good at magic and light-related stuff. The, uh... 'Narc' is good at bein' smart beyond all reason and buildin' all kinds of things! Me, I'm good at bein' strong. The tank, the shield... I can't make a light thing because that's not what I am."

"Oh."

"Are you... disappointed?"

Leo stopped again, and turned around. He tried to imagine a face to look at, to direct his thoughts.

"No! I mean, I'm a little bummed that I can't... y'know, feel you or whatever. But you sound really cool!"

"You think I'm... cool?"

"Yeah, dude! You sound like my brother, Raph. He's cool like that, too -- always strong, brave, working to make sure we're the heroes Splinter always knew we could become. And now I'm friends with a fricken' tank?! He would be so jealous; do you know how awesome that sounds?!"

Leo felt a short-lived pride. A small semblance of reassurance, a twinge of nostalgia. And then sadness.

"Thanks, dude."

"What's wrong?" Leo asked, reaching forward instinctively. He couldn't feel anything, but he sensed the loneliness the 'Tank' had mentioned earlier.

"Nuthin'. C'mon, let's hurry up and find Mikey before he gets too far ahead."

Leo walked along the streets. He noticed that the light was starting to dim. He also noticed that the dimming of the light made the other two ghosts -- Narc and Tank -- uneasy. He could hear soft whispers that they kept to themselves, thinking that maybe he couldn't hear him.

"Do you think that maybe he's lost? Does Mikey actually know what he's doing?"

"Of course he does. Draxum told him how the spell works --"

"But are we sure? I mean, I don't want to doubt Mikey's abilities -- but this is Leo's life at stake here."

"Keep your voice down! He might hear you..."

"Raph, this is a big deal. Leo has been comatose for seven whole days with no sign of recovery. I... I don't want to lose him."

"We won't. I'm sure we won't."

The two were eerily quiet. At first, Leo was afraid that they'd gone again, left him alone in the silence. But then one of them -- the Tank -- spoke up.

"We're still here, Leo."

"Oh, thank Pizza Supreme," the slider muttered under his breath. "You had me worried for a moment."

"You think we'd leave you?"

"I-I don't know," Leo admitted. "I... I'm not sure why. But I felt like... maybe? Like it happened before..." Leo stalled, slowing to a stop as foggy recollections came back to him. "I thought... I remember.... you left me? Or you went silent..."

"We didn't mean to," Tank responded. "The first time, you sorta... disappeared. You vanished, and Mikey had to search for you for a few minutes before we found you again. The second time, we were still with you, but once we came into the new dream, it was like everything reset, and we couldn't reach you anymore. We keep having to fight to reach you."

"Why?" Leo asked. "The light guy mentioned a curse, I think. Is that part of it? Part of whatever's keeping me trapped here?"

Tank considered it deeply before answering.

"I don't know. Mikey would know better."

"The light guy?"

"Yeah, the light guy."

"Where is he, by the way?" Leo wondered, looking around.

The streets were getting busier. The sparkles getting dim, almost completely faded.

"Well, that's not good."

"What do we do?" Leo asked. "How do we get out of here?"

"Follow me," Narc said quietly. "I think I can find 'Light Guy' using my ninpo."

"How am I supposed to follow you if I can't see you?" Leo reminded, not even considering to skimp on the sass.

"But you can hear me. Follow my voice, okay?"

"Got it," Leo said with a nod.

Narc started to talk. And talk. And talk.

Wow. Okay. He liked to talk a lot. Leo started to groan from all the things he went on about. He spoke of science, the stars, astronomy. He talked about black holes, and the theories behind what would happen if you stepped inside one. He spoke of the different classifications of stars, such as red giants and dwarf stars and why they twinkle or change colour in the night. He talked about the moon, and how he was convinced that there was a secret second moon.  Narc mentioned his favourite conspiracies. He spoke of the rewriting of history, the possible faked moon landing, the mysteries behind the Lost Colony of Roanoke. He talked about Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Jersey Devil, but he refused to touch the subject of aliens for some reason. Instead, he brought up biology. Microbes, bacteria, germs, single-celled organisms. The mitochondria were the powerhouse of the cell. Red blood cells, white blood cells, bone structure, muscles, how hair and nails were made of the same thing, melanin, mutations, and so forth.  To say he touched a bit on the subject of botany would be an understatement...

"Man, you would really like my brother Donnie," Leo noted. "He's totally into this stuff, too."

There was silence. Leo felt an awkward tension.

"Ahem. So, uh... do you guys like Jupiter Jim?"

There was a stifled cackle from Tank.

"Yeah. Yeah, we do. But not as much as Lou Jitsu!"

"Seriously?" Leo gaped, excited beyond measure. "I LOVE Lou Jitsu's films! And you may have figured it out by the genetic resemblance, but in case you didn't, did you know that --"

"Um, guys?" Narc piped in. "Have we been here before?"

Leo looked around at the stalls. There was a florist pop-up stand, a shoe shop set up against a stone cavern wall, a water fountain, a park bench, and a few other stalls that all sold shady-looking mystic trinkets.

"...I don't think so?" Leo offered. "It doesn't look familiar..."

"I could have sworn we came this way before..."

"Do you think we've gone in circles?"

"I thought so... But it's Leo's dreamscape. If he says no, then.... Let's just keep going for now, Mikey's trail is getting cold."

Leo followed the sound of Narc and Tank talking. He joined in, each one speaking of their favourite Lou Jitsu film.

They passed by a fishmonger, a jeweler, and a children's school for wizards.

Narc mentioned how some dreams hold deeper meaning, and some things represent deep-rooted fear or a danger. He mentioned how dreams were often used to predict the future, and how some people can even see future visions in their sleep.

They passed by a series of diners and Yokai eateries.

Tank wondered where Light Guy was. He started to worry about what might have happened to him. Tank seemed like the worrying kind. They discussed how someone could get lost inside Leo's mind. It unnerved him to think that there was a person snooping around his subconscious.

They passed by a florist, a shoe shop, and a water fountain.

Wait... didn't they just...?

"Do you guys see that?" Leo asked, pointing. "We passed that flower stand already, right?"

"I TOLD YOU we were going around in circles!" Narc whined.

"Wait, so we must've taken a wrong turn somewhere!" Tank deduced. "Maybe we try retracing our steps?"

The group go back the way they came. Past the flower stand. Past the diners. Past the wizard school. Past the jewelers. Past the fishmongers. Past the shady-looking trinket stands. Past the park bench and water fountain. Past the shoe shop. Past the flower stand...

Uh-oh.

"Wait, how does that work?" Leo wondered aloud, pointing in the two directions they'd come from.

"A common nightmare is going round in circles, moving around but never getting anywhere," Narc offered. "This might be something of that nature."

"Uh... what exactly happens in those kinds of dreams?"

"You never get anywhere, as to be expected. They represent psychological distress, usually related to interpersonal problems, work-related issues, or basically anything that revolves around a stressful or anxiety-inducing situation."

"Well, it's a good thing I don't have any of those problems!" Leo exhaled with relief.

The nagging feeling of swallowing your words, hiding the truth, lying. Leo could feel it in the others.

"What? What are you guys not saying?"

"Huh? Nothing! Nothing at all..."

"Uh-huh. Right. Anyway, Narc, how do we break out of the loop?" Leo asked.

"First off, hate that nickname. Second, try doing anything out of the ordinary? Maybe try... going off the path?"

"Alrighty then, let's think outside the box!" Leo whooped, jumping over the flower cart and racing away.

He could feel Tank and Narc close behind him as he ran in odd zig-zaggy patterns. He bobbed and weaved through the crowds, trying to maneuver through them as he searched for a new path to take. The crowds parted. There was a florist pop-up stand and a shoe shop.

"What the what?!" Leo yelled, throwing his fists in the air. "This doesn’t make any sense! How am I supposed to escape this dream prison thing if I can't escape a single avenue?!"

Leo started running again. This time, out of pure anger. He ran and ran and ran, hearing Tank shout after him. He ran and ran and ran, ignoring Narc's scoldings. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran.

Leo ran out of breath. He collapsed to his knees, laughing over the thought that he couldn't breath when he couldn't feel the effects of breathlessness. It didn't hurt his chest. It didn't even feel tight or constricted. He wasn't even tired. He couldn't feel anything other than despair.

Leo happened to glance down at the cobblestone path beneath him. There was dust, dirt, pebbles... and a sparkling glitter trail, just faint enough that you would miss it if you weren't a few inches away from it. He pressed a finger against the sparkle. It grew brighter against his fingerprint. Hmmm...

"Tank?" Leo called out. "Are you still there??"

"I'm here!" Tank shouted back, running up towards Leo, his voice gaining volume as he did. "What is it?"

"You said that Narc could make anything, right?"

"Yeah?" Tank confirmed slowly, his tone sounding wary. "Why?"

"Can he make something that can make these brighter? Or track them like a metal detector?" Leo asked, holding his finger up in the air.

"Well, 'Narc'?"

"First of all, you don't have to call me that, you know my name. Don't call me Narc. Secondly..."

There was a pause. Leo could faintly feel something like a soft breeze around his hands. He looked up in expectation to see something holding his hand, lifting them up to inspect. But he couldn't see anything. It made his heart sink.

"...I can work with this."

There was a rush of wind, a burst of electricity, and Leo had to cover his eyes or else he would be blinded. When he opened his eyes again, there was a strange bracelet-gauntlet-wristwatch-thing on the ground before him. It was glowing purple, and looked like it had been made from tangible light, like a hologram.

"What is this thing?" Leo asked, picking the device up and examining it thoroughly. 

"It's an enhancer; specifically it enhances ninpo. It is locked on to 'Light Guy's signature, so it will not only follow his magic trail, it'll also enhance it! And if he made it to the exit, then hopefully it lead us out of this loop."

Leo smiled as he placed the device on his wrist. A surge of something strange and powerful coursed through his veins, up his arm, and filled his lungs. It was exciting, brilliant, clear and logical, cutthroat but loving in its own nerdy way.

It was Donnie.

"...Don...?"

"Hmm?"

"This... Donnie, is this you?"

A pause, baited breath, terror and desperate hope fogging up the air with a tension so thick that not even Leo's odachi could carve through it. He could hear the audible gasp of shock from Tank, but the silence from Narc Donatello was deafening. Leonardo heard him take a deep inhale before answering.

"...You're not going to faint or get a memory wipe again, are you?"

"What does that mean?"

"This isn't the first time you figured out who I am, Nardo."

Leo swallowed.

"The last time... I forgot you?"

"I think you figured it out just as we were entering a new dream, so that might have been the cause."

"Oh. But.... it is you, right?"

Leo could feel the breeze around him shift, encompassing his arms and shoulders. He reached out for it, trying to grip it in an embrace if he could.

"It's me. It's Donnie."

Leo tried not to cry. But all he wanted was to hold Donnie close, hold him tight, say he was sorry for forgetting him, not recognising his voice or mannerisms at all. He wanted to apologise for so many things, he wasn't even sure what. There was a bubbling force in his stomach, urging him to say sorry for leaving them and the invasion and everything he was responsible for.

But instead, he just hung his head sadly.

"...I'm sorry, Don."

"It's okay, Nardo. We just want to help you get better. To get out of this."

"...So does that mean that 'Tank' is... Raph?"

"That's me," Tank Raph said, and Leo could hear the smile in his voice.

"So... so who's Light Guy?"

"You... you can't figure it out?"

"Well, I was gonna say Mikey, but Mikey can't do all that magic stuff you guys mentioned!"

There was another silence. Leo sensed their confusion, the withholding of information.

"What? What aren't you telling me?"

"Leo... how do you think I was able to make the wristlet?" Donnie asked.

"I dunno, brainpower? Imagination? We're in the dream world, after all."

"Yeah, but we can't actually do anything in here," Raph told him. "We can't affect the world around you, we can't even interact with you."

"So... so then how did you make this?" Leo asked, turning his wrist over to inspect the bracelet.

"With my ninpo.... But you don't know what that is, do you?"

"...Um... Yessss, I do?" Leo tries.

"You're lying. You don't know what that is. You can't even hear me say the word, can you?"

Leo squirmed uncomfortably.

"You said you'd only been to the Hidden City eight times when you've actually been here thirteen. In the last dream, Hueso said you saved the world, but you were confused by what he meant."

"Leo... what's the last thing you remember?" Raph asked nervously.

"The... the last thing I remember?" Leo reechoed. "Like... from the dreams?"

"No, from real life."

"I-I'm not sure," Leo whispered. "The dream world feels real, I can't really tell when the memories end and the dream starts... was... we had a sleepover... was that real or a dream?"

"We've had a lot of sleepovers," Donnie chimed in. "Are you thinking about the one you dreamt of? With all the snacks and pizza and--"

"And Raph exploded the Vitamin Water?" Leo finished. "That... that was a part of a dream?"

"Yeah. Leo... what was the last big mission you went on?"

"Uh... the Shredder?"

"Which Shredder mission?" Raph asked.

"What do you mean, which one? We... we got rid of him..."

"...Did we work with Big Mama to banish him?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Who's the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

"Who? Is that like, some off-brand version of the Mad Dogs?"

"...Who is the leader of the Mad Dogs?"

"Raph is."

"..."

"...This is not ideal."

"Why? What's not ideal?? What aren't you telling me... is Raph not the leader anymore? What happened to Raph, why can't he lead??"

"Nothing happened to Raph, he just... Never mind. We need to find Mikey."

Leo wanted to keep prying, find out what was so devastating that no one would tell him... But the glowing device on his wrist began to glow, and the sparkles that had all but disappeared from the ground began to brighten, and by contrast, the rest of the Hidden City began to dim.

"There! Follow that glitter!"

Leo ran after the path, going in circles at least twice before the glittering specks led away from the path, down a different and unseen lane. Leo could feel a strange emotion rising up slowly. One that was lost, scared, feeling hopeless... but strangely tired. The exhaustion that weighed down this soul was crushing, Leo almost felt like he too would fall asleep if he wasn't wary. There was also a strange cloud of confusion surrounding the feelings. Leo could feel this person was lost, not just physically, but also mentally. They felt... Leo wasn't sure how to describe it. They felt like everything they knew was slowly fading away.

Leo pushed past a group of Yokai and saw the sparkling light that had attempted to guide him before, only now it was alone, laid limp on the ground, and growing duller by the second.

"There he is!" Donnie yelled. "Mikey!"

Leo felt the ghost of something move through him, purple light surrounding the small star on the floor. The light fluttered before suddenly vanishing completely. Leo gasped in terror before feeling something like a warmth over his shoulder.

"Mikey?!"

"He's okay," Raph soothed. "He just came out of the light form. Donnie has him now."

"Is -- is he -- what's going on, why was he on the floor like that?! Could you see him, why did he feel like -- like he was -- like he --"

"He's alright, just semi-incapacitated," Donnie informed them. "Angelo, wake up. Angelo?"

"This must've been what Draxum was talking about when he said not to get sidetracked," Raphael realises.

"Meaning?" Leo interrogated. "Sidetracked from what?"

"From you," Raph whispered. "If we stay away from you for too long, we'll 'lose sight of what we're here for', and become trapped just like you."

Leonardo heard a soft mumble, followed by a growing sensation of comfort. Mikey was waking up.

"Mmmm....? Wha... wha' happ'ned...? Who... who are you?"

"What? Angelo, it's me! It's Donnie!"

"Why... why couldn't I hear your name?"

Leo felt sickness rising in his stomach. Donnie and Raph felt like they were going to puke. Mikey's head was fogged up and cloudy, heavy with confusion and riddled with sleepiness.

"What's going on?" Leo asked. "What's wrong with Mikey?"

"I-I don't know -- Mikey, look at me. Do you recognize me?"

It became quiet for a moment. All eyes (invisible and not) were frozen to the spot where Mikey was found. Leo could feel the fear rising, the worry in Raph and the burning anger over the situation growing in Donnie. But then he felt clarity in Mikey, and the drowsy spell that had been cast over him dissipated.

"...D-Donnie...? Raph?" there was a sudden joyful gasp. "Leo!"

Leo blinked, expecting to feel or see something, a hug or a smile. There was nothing.

"L-Leo? Are you okay? Wait, why can't I touch you -- what happened, why are we... we..."

Mikey's voice softened as the memory came back.

"...Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, I --"

"You don't have to apologise, Mikey," Leo whispered, looking down at his hands.

"You know my name?"

"Yeah, I know who everyone is. But what happened to you?"

Mikey hummed quietly, groaning as he apparently sits up or stands with Donnie's assistance.

"I... I remember trying to lead the way out, but I went too far ahead. I almost made it to the next dream, but then -- then I forgot where I was, why I was there, I even forgot you guys, and the more I forgot, the s-sleepier I got..."

"That's why Draxum told us to stick together and stick with Leo," Raph reminded him. "We might've lost you. But we know what not to do now."

"You said you almost found the way to the next dream?" Donnie reiterated.

"Which way?" Leo's voice was filled with hope. He wanted to get out as soon as possible for his brothers' sakes. He couldn't bear the idea of them getting hurt because of him. Again.

Again? What --

"The way out is over there!"

Mikey's voice interrupted Leo's thoughts. He took in a deep breath before standing up and looking around. Up ahead, there was a small avenue that led to a cave tunnel.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!" Mikey assured him. "A-although, somebody's gonna hafta carry me... m-my legs aren’t exactly working right now. I think I used up all my mystic powers."

"Raph's gotchya, big man," the eldest brother stated, noisily hoisting Michelangelo up and walking towards the cavern. "Come on, guys, we're halfway through this trial!"

Leo and Donnie followed after the duo into the cave. It grew dark, cold, clammy. Quiet and calm. Leo appreciated the calming atmosphere, as he felt anything but calm.

"You okay?"

"Are you asking because you can read my thoughts?"

"Guilty. Is it about what happened to Mikey?"

"Sorta. I mean, I'm upset over what happened to him, but mostly I'm scared. Is that what it's like when I enter a new dream?"

"So far, yes."

"And that means that soon, I'll forget again. I'll go full Groundhog Day."

"But we'll remind you of everything again."

"...But it hurts you," Leo whimpers. "I know it does. It hurt me to see Mikey so confused like that, even if it was only for a short minute. And I don't want to be stuck feeling alone anymore."

"We won't let you get lost, Leo," Donnie promises.

He can almost feel him take his hand, before realising it's just the hologram wrist tech he has yet to remove.

"But there's more... you guys aren't telling me something. You keep skirting the subject, avoiding things, pretending like there isn't an issue when I can clearly tell that there is!"

"We're just trying to not overwhelm you."

"Overwhelm me how? I mean, some witch or a crazy new mutant must've put a weird sleeping beauty spell on me, right? What could be more overwhelming than that??"

"...That's not what happened."

"Say wha?" Leo questions. "What does that mean --"

"Guys! Up ahead!" Raph shouts. "Do you see that light?"

Leo runs up ahead to see what Raph's commotion is about. As he does, a familiar drowsiness sets in. The light up ahead grows brighter, more vivid. Leo can hear noises and sounds like joy and excitement and cheering... The light soon becomes too bright and his eyes close to keep from going blind.

Leonardo emerges from the tunnel into a large arena, the walls painted black with red pillars and humongous skulls decorating them. The grandstands are filled with Yokai, each of whom looks like they'd have a warrant or a bounty on their heads. The dust blows around the ground as three spotlights are shone directly onto Leo's face, his body encased with armour fit for a gladiator. A screeching whine of feedback echoes over a series of loudspeakers before Big Mama's voice shouts over the commotion and applause of the bloodthirsty crowds.

"LADIES AND GENTLE-GERMS, I GIVE YOU... THE NEXT CHAMP-I-ON OF THE BATTLE NEXUS, NIGHTMARE EDITION!"

[eliysian]

⋆ Undiscussed Feelings ⋆

INFO: From readers point of view; Leon POV is in progress, short story, messy plot, not proofread, maybe adding more to the story once I figure out where I was going with this.

A/N: Messiest story I've done, don't worry about it bro!! Umm i'll probably add more plot to this once I figure out what I'm doing.. It's been awhile since I've written, and honestly I'm just spewing stuff out and forming it together. It's not a good story, and it honestly might stay as an unfinished one-shot. Depends on if this gets popular tbh!

TAGS: gender-neutral, messy, colleague, medic, nurse, agent, unknown feelings, secret crush, crush, complicated relationship, a lil toxic, & short story

For context, you just got a new job as a medic for a small group at a private agency you'd never heard of. And as little was told to you, you were completely unaware that you would be overworked day and night patching up the strongest men you've ever seen. You assumed the job would be simple, a few shifts a week. Not constantly being called and pulled back into the agency late at night to fix up a few stitches.

And god, you hated it. For the life of you, you hated it. You could not stand being there, dealing with the constant shitty men who snapped back at you like you were the one who injured them. It wasn't like you could talk back anyway, since they could probably kill you with a punch.

Yet, you were happy that some men you worked with were atleast decent. You had a favorite, too. One of the nicer men you worked with, one that wasn't always snappy and rough. His name was Leon Kennedy, he came in often and he was always like a breath of fresh air when you'd see him walk into your office.

He went on missions constantly, so he was always needed to get new stitches, needing new pain meds, etc, etc. You didn't mind, since his sessions were quick and straight forward. Leon didn't talk much, so the patchwork would always be silent (if you didn't count his grunts from the pain). He was mysterious in a way, never saying much but always staring. And when you two did talk, it was either gruff or sweet.

He's brought you food late at night since he's aware of the long shifts, but he's also ignored you many times. You were never mad at him for it though, you felt empathy for him. You'd been informed about his traumatic past, so you attempted to be gentle with him, but he never seemed to like that.

-

"That hurt?" You murmured out, your breath steady yet slow as you focused on the stitches piercing your clients skin. "You don't need to be fuckin' gentle," Leon grunted out, annoyed by the slow, slick stabs of the needle against his calloused skin. You practically winced at the rough words, since you'd been trying to help.

"It'll scar if I'm rough," He didn't seem to care though, you assumed he was in a rush. The gruffness of his groans rippled through your ears, it was unsettling. You were used to him being more kind to you, but he seemed annoyed at you today so you tried to be silent and apply to his needs.

Though, you kept the same slow pace on the stitches. "I might aswell do it myself," Leon grunted, hands gripping at his knees from the agonizing pace of the stitches. "I'm just trying to be careful, I don't want it to bruise or scar." You retorted softly, but he only scoffed and his eyebrows knitted tightly together.

"We're not friends. You don't need to be gentle; You don't know me."

-

The memory made you cringe everytime you remembered it, it was awhile ago but it resonated in your veins everytime you thought of him or looked at him. The memory happened months ago, probably the third week you started working at the agency. 

It didn't bother you much, it was just a cringe moment you hated remembering. You didn't understand why he was so rough that day, since he never acted like that before, nor did he do ever do that after.

The next day, he was back to normal, mysterious and silent. And the next few months were the same. Random nightly calls about how he needed you to show up for new stitches, random meals late at night, mocking smirks at you during meetings when you asked a dumb question, all normal things.

You two weren't close, merely colleagues. Which is why it surprised you when your phone didn't buzz all night, and you instead heard the loud revving of a motorcycle outside your home. Honestly it scared you at first, until you heard the rhythmatic knocking on your front door. The familiarity of it bringing you back to your office, the exact same pattern Leon used when knocking on your office door.

-

"Leon?" You yawned out groggily, wiping your face that was displaying your tiredness.

Your hand weakly gripped the knob on your front door, staring up at your colleague that stood tall in your doorway. 

"Hey," Leon returned, his voice low and smooth. "Sorry, I know it's late. I assumed it'd be easier to show up here since it's late and you probably don't wanna drive to the a-"

"How did you get my address?" You cut him off, eyes narrowed as your vision adjusted to the dim lights that illuminated Leon. You've never had a colleague show up at your doorstep, and you were definitely confused as to why he was here- Not to mention the fact he had your address.

You didn't tell him it, nor did you tell anyone else at your agency. The only time it was even mentioned was on your resume papers, since it was needed for letters and updates to be sent to you. "Chris," He blurted, fingers toying with the motorcycle helmet he held by his side. Chris was your guys' employer, or in other words, the head of your guys' group. He was the one who assigned you all together for missions. Also meaning Chris had your resume papers.

"Right.." You sighed out, glancing around the outside of your home. It was dark, but your eyes fixated on his motorcycle that was displayed beside your car. There was tire marks on the dirt infront of your home, along with a flower that had been run over.

Leon's eyes matched yours, glancing over to the trampled flower and messy dirt. He chuckled out a response, "Sorry, I missed the driveway a bit." Leon turned back to you, looking down at your figure. "A bit?" You retorted, clearly a bit irritated that you wore woken up at 3 A.M. "That's a bit of an understatement,"

He sighed, chewing his lip before he slid his motorcycle helmet to his other hand. "Can you just stitch me up again? The stitches on my arm are loose. They were bleeding badly earlier," Leon said, sticking his calloused hand out to reveal the stitches loose and dangling, a large scab forming over them. You winced at the sight.

-

Leon groaned, sucking the inside of his lower lip for some sort of release as the pain in his arm was overwhelming. "Sorry," You murmured tiredly, trying to keep your eyes open as you were extremely tired. It probably wasn't the best idea to be stitching someone up while practically half asleep.

He was extremely tense, feeling uneasy under your touch as he could practically sense your drowsiness. "F-uck," He groaned out as your thumb pressed against the stitch, it was painful yet relieving. "Maybe we should take a break-" He blurted, his hand reaching for yours.

You sighed, the needle trembling in your hand as you leaned your side onto your couch. You hadn't been getting good sleep recently, and it was obvious to him as his eyebrows knitted together and his hand held your wrist tightly. "The stitch.. i-it's almost done," You murmured out, your fingertips holding the needle harshly.

"You're about to pass out," He spoke gruffly, sighing at your tired state. Your eyes were half-lidded and hazy. He sighed before letting go of your hand and taking the needle from you, he adjusted you lightly, letting you rest on your own couch. "..Just sleep, I'll leave after I'm done." He added, eyes softening as he watched your gentle nod and you curl up into a ball sleepily.

Leon grunted as he dragged the needle through his skin, eyes averting away from you as the pain soaked into his flesh.

Goddamn.. it's worse when you do it yourself.

He practically ate himself alive with his thoughts, regretting letting you sleep as it felt like he was burning alive or holding back screams of agony at the strong jabs of pain against his skin. Leon had never really done this before, and fuck it was painful; he finally understood why you were always so gentle.

As he finished the stitching, he ripped the edge as he failed to realize you had brought medical scissors to cut the string earlier. Leon cursed to himself mentally as he felt the throb in his arm, still trying not to groan out in pain as you were asleep beside him.

Atleast, that was what he thought until he flinched at the small hand he felt resting on his thigh and a cheek nuzzling against it aswell. "Shit," Leon panted out, shooken up as your tired eyes looked up at him. "You were awake?" He murmured, tensing up at you cuddling his leg.

You lightly nodded, eyes fluffing closed. "..I need to leave, Y/N." Leon murmured, keeping his voice low to not disturb you, but he did try to pull your hand off of him. Yet your squirming and whimpers of protest stopped him. He sighed through his nose, placing his hand on your back.

"Y/N," Leon warned, wanting to go home but also not wanting to disturb his tired colleague resting on his thigh. For fucks sake, did he even consider you a colleague anymore? You were sure as hell more than that to him.

-

Leon eyed the corridor, the muffled speaking outside the room catching his attention. His whiskey was set down beside him, legs spread slightly with his elbows digging into his knees. Leon shut out the other noises in the meeting room, eyebrows knitting togther as the doors opened.

Another new medic, one that actually seemed good this time. They stood beside Chris, anxiously toying with their fingers. Leon eyed them up and down, watching their movement, god they were definitely his type.

-

Leon sighed, biting his lower lip as his hand found it's way up to your hair. He toyed with it gently, finding the soft sounds of your breathing calming. Leon stared down at you as your face nuzzled his thigh, you clearly were just trying to cling to something for comfort as you slept, but it made him feel fuzzy.

He was a grown man; he didn't understand why he felt like that about you, but he did. Leon didn't understand his feelings, he didn't understand why he was so rude to you despite him finding comfort in your presence in itself.

"..Why do I like you?" Leon murmured.

Word count: 1735

[oingomyboingos]

the other day I was sitting with my cis dude friends around the fire and I asked them “if you woke up tomorrow with different genitals what would you do?” and a lot of them took it as if I was asking them about a change in gender. so I clarified that no no, this is body parts. you get to tell me whether that affects your gender or not, and how.

and it genuinely threw them for a loop. I got told first off “jill, i’m too drunk for this!” so I (massive little shit that I am) asked them again tonight while sober. and their responses were interesting.

one guy started asking if the government would know about the changes that happened to him. would he have issues proving he was who he said he was. would he need to get his gender marker changed on his ID. I said again “i don’t know. do you think having a vagina would change your gender? would you want to publically go thru those changes in a legal way? would this be a private thing or not?” he kinda got stuck. he said he’d want tits to see what being a woman was like with the full package. I again asked him “if it’s about seeing yourself in the mirror, then I have a bra upstairs we can put on and stuff. you’re not talking about your inner sense of self and how that connects to how you look.”

I don’t think he got what I was saying.

another one of the guys got stuck on the idea of periods. he has a fear of blood and said it would be really traumatic for him. I agreed that yeah it can be traumatic. periods were so traumatic for me I got on meds to stop them altogether. we didn’t get to talk more about if that would change his sense of self, but he did I think engage with the idea of dysphoria and like gender affirming heath care by bringing that up.

the last friend was most interested in how this would change things for him socially. he asked if it meant he’d get free drinks at the bar from people trying to hit on him. I said, I don’t know, what kind of bar are you at? what kind of people are you dating? are you dressing femme? masc? he didn’t really know. we went “bro do u want us to buy you a drink next time? drink from the homies??” and he said yeahhhh 🥺 lol.

I have no real commentary here other than it’s interesting how infrequently cis people think about their gender and what makes them feel the way they do about themselves.

i guess i’m (in a roundabout way) trying to get them to explain what masculinity means to them, because it’s something I have the hardest time connecting to as a genderfluid afab person.

anyway. idk. any suggestions for further questions to ask my cis dude friends? lmk in the comments