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soaps-mohawk · 1 month

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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 34: The Whole Truth

Summary: In life, we will be confronted with difficult choices. Sometimes you won't know you've made the wrong choice until it's too late

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 12,582 words

Warnings: Dead dove: do not eat, Angst, graphic violence and torture, mentions of predatory behavior towards a minor, Phillip Graves is a major creep, lots blood and injuries, kidnapping and its aftermath, hostage situations, anxiety and panic attacks, language, very explicitly described torture, ‘mega gets hit a lot, choking, biting, ‘mega gets stabbed with an ice pick, author can’t write COD missions, vomiting, lots of heavy emotions, detailed descriptions of pain, guns, background character dies on screen, descriptions of guilt and grief, lots of POV changes, some descriptive language of gore and blood at the end, rehashing of ‘mega’s injuries from the last chapter, a lot of angst and very heavy content, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe

A/N: This chapter deals with some pretty heavy content. Please, please, please read and heed the warnings. I have included content warnings for the more graphic parts before they happen, so if you don't want to read those, you can skip ahead to the next part. I suggest taking breaks if you need to, read it in installments if necessary. And I cannot stress it enough, please heed the warnings.

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“Hi darlin’.” His grin widens like he’s happy to see you. “Been a long time.”

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, your brain still sluggish. You feel sick as you try to process, try to figure out why and how. You try to move your arms again, but your wrists are stuck, hands burning as you pull. You desperately want them free, desperately need them free.

“Easy,” Phil says, putting his hands on yours, pushing them flat against the arms of the chair. They’re warm and calloused, the same hand that had been on your face a few moments ago. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. More than you already have been.” He lifts your left leg, making you groan quietly as a deep ache throbs down to your foot and up to your hip.

Running. A gunshot. Pain.

“He had strict orders not to harm you.” Phil says, adjusting the bandage wrapped around your calf. “Don’t worry. We got you all fixed up.” He sets your leg back down gingerly, his touch lingering for a moment before he looks back up at you.

“Why?” You croak out, trying to make sense of what happened.

Corporal McKinney broke into the barracks and chased you into the woods. He shot you and drugged you and now you’re here, restrained in a chair staring at a man you haven’t seen for years. A man who was once your dad’s best friend.

“A lot has happened since we saw each other last.” He says, pushing himself to stand. “I left the Marines after a few years, formed my own group of military contractors. Invited your dad to join, but you know how he is. All honor and duty and serving the country. Of course, you haven’t seen him in quite a while, have you?”

You stare up at him, starting to get scared. You never liked Phil. There was always something about him that put you off. He always stared too long, always sat too close to you. He always greeted you with a hug that lasted too long, squeezing you too tightly against him. He was sweet on you in a way he wasn’t with anyone else. He could be intense, brash and almost downright rude sometimes. He was a firm believer in traditional packs too, even if he never spoke about his own pack, his own omega. He had to have one, if he was as dedicated as he said.

He was far too much like your father.

Phil was always kinder to you, though. Softer. Not quite as callous and bellicose as your father in public. He was polite, always happy to lend a hand, always glad to roughhouse with your brothers to get their energy out. You saw the way your mother looked at him though. Perhaps her apprehension bled into you, those dormant omega instincts picking up on something she was projecting.

He made you uncomfortable, and she knew it.

What could an omega do, though, in a world where they don’t have opinions, they can’t argue, they can’t disagree. Your mother never said anything because in the world your family existed in, the world Phil existed in, she couldn’t.

“He was so angry when he called.” Phil continues, staring down at you. “Ranting and raving about how his oldest daughter betrayed him by presenting as an omega. He couldn’t stand having such a useless child in his perfect pack.” You flinch at his words, even though you heard your father spew those very words after your presentation firsthand.

“He called you?” You ask, the pieces starting to come together as your brain finally snaps fully into awareness. You knew he called someone, but you hadn’t thought it would ever be Phil.

“Of course.” Phil chuckles. “We were good friends, pals, buddies. He knew I could help him.” A shiver runs down your spine. You know what he’s going to say next. “So I did. I have some contacts in some high places, people who owe me favors. So I made some calls, pulled some strings, got you into FIOT immediately, with some strings attached of course.” He leans down so you’re almost face to face. “I wanted you. They put a note in your file. You wouldn’t be placed in the registry when you were old enough, you would go to me and my pack.”

Bile churns in your stomach as you process his words. It all makes sense now. The stares, the hugs, the closeness with your father, your rapid enrollment in an institute that can take weeks to process applications. It was all so you could be his. Something he’s wanted from early on.

“You would have been mine,” He pushes himself up straight again, starting to pace back and forth in front of you. “If the fucking CIA hadn’t gotten involved!” You flinch as his voice raises, the frustration starting to darken his scent. “They froze your file, made the claim null and void. All for what, their little initiative that never really existed in the first place?” He huffs out a laugh, a smirk tilting his lips. “Small world, though. Who knew we’d be seeing each other again after so long.”

He steps closer, looking down at you. You hold his gaze, suddenly feeling afraid. Even though you know him, even though you spent a good part of your childhood around him, you’re afraid of him right now. Your mind starts to revert back, the urge to lower your eyes, break eye contact like you’re supposed to flashing through your mind.

Don’t stare alphas in the eyes. They’ll take that as a challenge. It’s not your job to challenge them. Your job is to be subservient.

You would have been subservient to him if the CIA hadn’t gotten involved. You would have been under his control, bowing to him and his will. You’d have pups by now, at least one. He’d always talked about having a big pack with lots of pups someday, always glancing at you when he said it.

You’re going to vomit all over him.

It’s not just the truth that scares you, though. You’re being held captive here. That thought has registered in your mind now, the reality settling in as you get over the shock of the last few minutes. Corporal McKinney kidnapped you from base, and now you’re restrained in a chair surrounded by unknown alphas. Phil isn’t going to help you, take pity on you. He’s not here to be nice, to have a little chat and catch up on life.

That possibly ended as soon as he was denied what he wanted.

His hand cups your chin, holding your face up as he looks down at you. His thumb is rough as it strokes your jaw, a tickling feeling starting in the back of your mind again. There’s an almost bittersweet look in his eyes as he holds your gaze. You refuse to lower it, refuse to give him that satisfaction. “You’ve grown up a lot.” He says, his hand sliding down your neck to the collar of your shirt. “You always were cute, though. I knew early on you were going to be an omega. You were far too...calm and compliant compared to your brothers. Always so polite and eager to please. You can tell if you pay attention, you know. Those dormant instincts start to show themselves long before presentation.”

His hand pulls your collar to the side, revealing your mark. His eyes harden as he stares at it, his lips turning down into a frown. A shiver runs down your spine as the darkness in his scent intensifies. He’s not holding you hostage just to tell you about what could have been, what direction your life might have taken. He’s here for a reason, and you know your pack is involved. Something has happened, something behind the scenes, something John was looking into.

“What’s going on?” You ask as he releases your collar, taking a step back.

“Well, you’re being held hostage.” He says, like it isn’t already obvious. “You’re...shall we say...leverage to ensure your pack follows orders.”

You blink at him. You haven’t heard from or spoken to your pack in weeks. You should be relieved that they’re apparently still alive, but what if you had been right and they don’t want you anymore? Why would they take you if your pack has abandoned you? Or did they take you to ensure they wouldn’t...

“Laswell stuck her nose somewhere it shouldn’t have been.” Phil says, crossing his arms. “It’s only so long before your pack finds out. Let’s just say...they’re not going to be happy about it. So, to ensure they don’t do something impulsive and reckless as they are known to do, you’re going to play hostage.”

You gulp as you stare up at him, suddenly feeling very afraid. Your scent spikes in the air, clouding it with the bitter scent of anxiety. It was the plan all along. You knew it even if you hadn’t been told outright. Deep down you’ve always known it wasn’t about strengthening packs. It wasn’t about studying how an omega would increase or decrease the efficiency of military packs. With the events of the last few months, the idea had started to form in your mind. You know you weren’t alone in those thoughts. John and Simon were digging into the cameras for a reason. They were put up for a reason.

It was always about control.

That was the point of the initiative. That was why they put cameras up, that was why General Shepherd was so invested in the state of your pack and if you had been mated. He needed to ensure you were close enough to them so if something happened that wasn’t supposed to, you could be used against them.

You’re nothing more than leverage.

Your scent spikes in the air, clouding the room as reality sinks into you. Something happened that caused this. Something called your pack away to isolate you, to leave you vulnerable. They wanted you alone as a contingency.

Something did happen.

Now you’re here, being held captive by a man you used to know, a man who could have been your alpha had things not played out the way they did. The thought has your stomach churning. How far will they go? How far will Phil take things? Could he be merciful because of your history? Or will his ruined plan make him more ruthless?

You’ll be punished for something you can’t control.

Phil makes a soft sound as he looks at you, shaking with fear in the chair. “Don’t be scared. As long as your pack does as they’re told, I won’t have to hurt you.” He turns the light back to face you, nearly blinding you. “Now, smile for the camera.”

They’re safe.

It had been close. A rough position to be in, but they managed it. He never doubted them and their abilities, but four against nearly fifty with no backup were not good odds. He’s been in tighter places before, and while he had his doubts, he is grateful Johnny and Simon were sent in when they were. Even if it was a bit suspicious.

“All accounted for.” John says as he sinks down onto one of the jump seats next to Kyle.

They’re all battered and bruised from their final fight. He’s ready to get home, ready to get back to you. From the sound of it, things were not going well, according to Johnny and Simon. He has a lot to make up for, a lot of apologies to make.

“Fucking Russian PMCs.” He says, speaking to Kate over the comms. “It’s not a coincidence Kate.”

Kate lets out a sigh that crackles through the comm. “No, it’s not. My team and I came across some information while we were digging into the cameras.”

“What information?” He asks slowly and carefully. He doesn’t like being kept in the dark, especially when it comes to his pack. Especially when it comes to you.

“Not just information on the initiative, but information on General Shepherd.”

“What information?” He asks again, slower this time as Johnny and Simon move in closer.

“Shepherd was the one that sold those weapons to AQ and the Russians.”

John looks at the other three members of his team. He knew something was wrong, something was off about the way Shepherd had acted while informing them about this mission. “He wanted those missiles found and destroyed so he could cover his own ass.” He says, his stomach starting to twist. He doesn’t like the way this is going.

“But we found out the truth before you could find all the missiles.” Kate continues. “He sent you on a wild goose chase to give himself a chance to escape.”

John’s hand tightens into a fist. “Where is he now?”

“He’s gone dark. Totally off radar.”

John pushes himself up to stand, the adrenaline pumping again. “I’m going to find that bastard-”

“John.” Kate says, cutting him off. “There’s something else.”

The twisting in his stomach intensifies. There’s a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to entertain the dark thoughts that are brewing. “What?”

“They took your omega.”

His stomach clenches, his breath catching in his lungs. The other three shift on their feet, all of them stepping closer. The scent in the plane thickens, anger and confusion mixing into a toxic cocktail. He hopes he heard that wrong, that there was some kind of interference in the connection and his brain made up the words he missed. “Repeat that.”

“They took your omega.” Kate says again.

He lets out a long breath, his muscles tensing. He’s had a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind for the last few days. Something was wrong, something was off. He should have known it was all a ruse. Why would AQ and the Russians store a missile in any of the places they had been sent to in the last week? It hadn’t made sense, and he had wanted to voice his doubts, but the consequences of a missile being launched because they decided not to look in one place was greater than his own perceived doubts.

They had been right though.

Of course it had all been a plan. Of course there had been something fishy about it. He’s hardly ever wrong. He’s been praised on his instincts on the field and off. He should have known. Pulling Simon and Johnny when they did should have been enough evidence, even if they had been needed in the end.

“You’re positive?” He knows she is. There’s no mistaking something like that, there’s no doubting it.

“There’s a video.” Kate says, John’s stomach dropping. “I’m sending it to you now.”

John pulls out his phone, his fingers white as he holds it up. He’s angry, beyond angry. If they’ve laid a hand on you...if you’ve been hurt because of his own failings, his own inability to see the truth...

He clicks on the video when it comes in, a familiar face popping up on screen. “Hi boys. Been a while.”

“Fucking Graves.” Johnny growls, his hands closing into fists in anger.

“I have a little something of yours I think you might be interested in.” He turns the camera around, your face popping up on screen. You’re restrained in a chair, wrists red from the zip ties, but there’s a glare on your face, looking as mean and threatening as you can. There’s a bruise on your cheek and what looks like a healing cut on your lip. Someone hit you.

“Smile for the camera.” Graves says, a bit too cheerfully.

You don’t smile, your glare sharpening as the camera gets closer to your face. There’s still fight left in you. Whatever has happened hasn’t been too bad. Yet.

“Let’s make this simple.” Graves says. “You stay away from Shepherd, and I won’t have to hurt this pretty little face. She is pretty, isn’t she?”

You shift in the chair, your leg lifting before you kick outward.

“Ow, you little bitch.” The camera jostles for a moment before it’s straightened back up, a hand shooting out to wrap around your throat. There’s no sign of any struggle, the glare still prominent on your face. “Feisty thing. Gotta keep up with those wild boys somehow.”

The hand tilts your face just slightly, showing the mark on your neck. It is you, not that John doubted that from the beginning. It may have been almost two months, but he wouldn’t forget your face that easily.

“Like I said,” Graves continues. “Follow your orders and she’ll be released unharmed.”

The screen goes dark and John resists the urge to throw his phone. He shoves it back into his pocket, turning towards the wall of the plane. He throws his fist against the metal as hard as he can. It hurts, but he can barely feel it over the rage burning hot in him.

“Fucking Shepherd!” He shouts, rearing back to throw his hand against the wall again.

Graves has his omega. Graves has his omega and now you’re being used as leverage. They’re all being played like puppets.

A hand catches his fist before he can punch the wall again, easing him back. “Easy.” Kyle says, trying to soothe him as best he can. “We have proof of life, we know that she’s alright for now.”

“For now.” He growls, looking around at the members of his team. “But for how long?”

“They knew we’d go after Shepherd as soon as we learned the truth.” Simon says. “This has been in the plans for a long time.”

“They’re trying to get us to make a choice. Focus on getting our omega back while letting Shepherd escape, or go after Shepherd and let our omega be tortured.” Kyle says.

“Those fuckin’ wankstains.” Johnny says, shifting on his feet. He’s angry, the bitter scent filling the enclosed area of the plane. They’re all angry, angry at those responsible, and angry at themselves for falling for it. “They were usin’ us the whole time.”

John lets out a long breath. It’s a hard decision to make. Go after Shepherd and cut the head off the snake, or go after you and let the person orchestrating all of this escape. Graves won’t stop, even if they do manage to take out Shepherd. He has his orders, and he will follow them, with or without Shepherd pulling the strings.

There might be a second contingency. They kill Shepherd, you die too.

No matter what, you won’t be safe. If they go after you, Shepherd escapes and if they try to hunt him down later, he’ll use you again, or worse. They don’t have to kill Shepherd, though. They have proof he’s a traitor. He can be brought to justice if he’s caught. Death is too gentle of a punishment for what he’s done. He deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life.

They have to make sacrifices for the good of the world.

“We’re going after Shepherd.” He says, taking a deep breath. “None of us will be safe if we don’t.”

“That’s dangerous, John.” Kate says. “We don’t know how far Shepherd or Graves will take this. You know how Graves is. He may not be able to be stopped, even if Shepherd tells him to.”

He takes a second to breathe. His pack is silent, all three of them staring at him, waiting for him to make this decision. He is pack alpha, he is their Captain. They do what he tells them to do, follow his orders no matter what. Kate is right, this is a risk, but sacrifices have to be made. Hands have to be dirtied to keep the world clean.

He just hopes you’ll forgive him.

“We’re going after Shepherd.” John says definitely.

“This is a bad idea, John.” Kate warns him.

“It’s the only option we have. They’re trying to draw us away. It’s a risk we have to take.” He can see the apprehension on his packmate’s faces. They’re all feeling it, the drive to go after their omega, but deep down he is right. They’ll never be safe until Shepherd is taken care of. Going after Graves only removes one small piece of the puzzle. The job always comes first.

“Get us locations, places he might try to dig in and hide.” He says, heading towards the cockpit. “We’ll find this arsehole and kill him ourselves.

***

Kate lets out a sigh as the comms close off. It’s a mistake. She knows it is. The guilt is eating her alive. She fell for this, she brought you into this, and now you might get hurt because of it. How she didn’t see the reality has shame burning through her. They were all blind, all led astray, all fooled by the red herring.

There was never an initiative. It was never about strengthening packs. It was always about control. They wanted a way to control packs. Shepherd knew if the secret ever came out, there would be no stopping the consequences. Legal or illegal, retribution would come for him if the truth was revealed.

This was his way of stopping it.

That's why the 141 were the guinea pigs.

They are the most dangerous threat to Shepherd, and he handed them a way to control them under the guise of strengthening packs, experimenting on how their dynamics and efficiency would shift with an omega added in. Even worse, they all fell for it.

John is making a mistake. Graves won’t stop so long as Shepherd knows they’re coming after him. The last thing she wants is for you to get hurt because of their decisions, their mistakes. Shepherd won’t order Graves to kill you. That’s too much of a risk. It would give the 141 nothing to lose, and that would put them at their most dangerous.

Will Graves listen to that order?

She can send out a team to get eyes on Graves, find his position at least. That way, if things do take a turn, she’ll at least have a direction to point them in.

They were all too trusting and ignorant. You’re innocent in all of this.

It’s her fault.

They’re going to need help.

Christine can’t sit still anymore. She can't take it. It’s been almost eighteen hours since your disappearance and there’s been nothing. No word, no news. She knows you’re alive. Kate had confirmed that, but that hasn’t eased the burning questions eating away at her mind. What is your current state? Who took you and why? Where is your pack and are they even aware of what’s happening?

She’s been sitting and twirling her thumbs. She can’t bring herself to do any paperwork, any research. What is there to do besides sit and worry? She doesn’t have a patient to take care of because she lost the one she was supposed to watch.

She huffs out a breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialing Kate. If Kate won’t call, she’ll call herself. Kate’s probably busy though, so Christine can’t blame her too much for not calling. She’s probably so far from the front of Kate’s mind right now.

The phone rings twice before Kate answers, sounding tired and disheveled, just as much as Christine feels.

“Laswell.”

“Kate, I need to be there.” She doesn't hold back, doesn’t try to make small talk. There’s no time for it. She knows how Kate is doing, and it’s not great.

“Christine, I don’t know if I can take that risk.” She says.

“I need to be there. I can't take sitting around here anymore, and when you find her, she’s going to need someone she knows there, someone that knows how to take care of her.” Christine lets out a breath, the relief of getting her thoughts out taking some of the weight off her shoulders.

Kate sighs, but she has to know Christine is right. She’s not sure what state you’re in, and depending on how bad it is, and where your pack is, you’re going to need her. Even if you think she was behind this. “I’ll have a plane ready to go in thirty minutes.”

“Thank you, Kate.” She says, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Don’t miss the flight.”

Christine hangs up, gathering a couple things from her office before closing and locking her door. She nearly runs to her barracks, packing a bag quickly. She’s not sure what to bring, or how long this will take. She’s not even sure exactly where she’s going.

She hurries to the airfield, phone in hand. She’s not sure where the plane is or which one she’s taking. She’s just relieved Kate is doing this for her.

Her phone buzzes as she reaches the tarmac, making her puse. She lets out an annoyed sigh before answering the call.

“Of course you have to call at the worst possible moment.” She says.

“I’ve always had the worst timing.” Alex’s voice comes through the speaker, and she can almost hear the smile on his face.

“I can’t talk long. I’m about to board a plane.” She says.

“I know. We’ll pick you up on the tarmac.”

She blinks in surprise. It’s been years since she’s seen her brother, months since she’s spoken with him. Ever since he retired from Delta Force, his regular calls have been happening less and less, and they’ve reached near radio silence over the last couple years. Now he’s involved in this too?

“Kate called in a favor.” He continues, and that’s all she needs to know. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Yeah.” She says, tears brimming in her eyes as she smiles. Despite everything, she’s glad she gets to see her brother again. Glad she has some support in this. Your pack will be mad. They’ll blame her. She’s not afraid of them, but she knows Alex will stand behind her no

**Content Warning: light torture, ‘mega gets punched, further injury to previous injuries, panic attack**

Your hands are starting to go numb. The constant attempts to free yourself from the zip ties isn’t helping, but you’re beginning to get twitchy. Your omega is scratching at the back of your mind, begging to be free, but you know you won’t survive it. The room is full of armed mercenaries, and you’re sure if you tried to take out Phil first, you’d be pumped full of bullets before you could even do any damage.

He’s leaning against the wall far too casually, staring at the phone he’d used to record the first video of you. His explanation had been simple. Your pack stops going after General Shepherd, you don’t get hurt. The longer they chase Shepherd, the more Phil gets to torture you until they decide your life is worth more than Shepherd’s.

Will they choose you over Shepherd? What if they’ve already decided to abandon you? What if your fears were right and they’ve given up, and that’s why they were gone so long? They won’t care what happens to you, if they have written you off as a burden, as a loss. They’ll let Phil torture you to death and they won’t even blink an eye. You’ll just be another casualty.

It makes your stomach hurt, the idea of your pack letting you die. Even the idea of someone who had once been a friend of your family being so cold towards you has nausea bubbling in your belly. He doesn’t care. His only worry is money, not the past. He doesn’t care. He’ll do the bidding of whoever offers the highest price.

He lets out a sigh, pocketing his phone as he pushes himself off of the wall. “Looks like your boys don’t follow orders well.” He bends down, putting his hands on his knees so he’s face to face with you. “They’ve decided to leave you here with me. Looks like Shepherd was wrong. They don’t really care about you as much as everyone thought they did. Makes me sad, them abandoning you so easily.”

You try to ignore his words, try to convince yourself he’s doing it on purpose, trying to mentally break you. Yet you can’t deny those words play exactly into your doubts, your fears. Have they really left you here, choosing Shepherd over you? Would they decide to do that? How easy had that decision been made?

Tears blur your vision as you stare up at Phil, your eyes burning as you try to put on the bravest face you can. You won’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting to you, playing into your fears.

“Unfortunately, that means I have to hurt you.” He stands up straight, staring down at you for a moment before pulling his fist back, hitting you across the face.

You see stars for a moment, your head snapping to the side. The left side of your face is numb, the taste of metal flooding over your tongue. You’re bleeding, blood pooling in your mouth. A hand grips your chin, pulling you back so you’re sitting up straight in the chair. You stare up at Phil, the fear fading away to anger as you glare up at him. Your face is throbbing, and you know it’s going to swell and bruise later, more than it already has thanks to Corporal McKinney.

Traitorous bastard.

They all are.

“I do feel bad for hurting that pretty face.” He says, stroking your jaw with his thumb.

The movement is impulsive, the anger becoming too much. You spit the blood in your mouth in his face, the droplets splattering across his skin. He turns his head away for a moment, bringing his other hand up to wipe at the blood.

“That wasn’t very nice.” He says, looking down at you.

“Fuck you, you fucking creep!” You yell, kicking at him with your bad leg.

He releases your face, catching your leg easily. He pushes his thumb against the bullet wound, all the fight leaving you as pain tears through your body. You let out a scream, trying to pull your leg away but he won’t let you. He holds his thumb there as you scream, the tears streaming down your face.

“Okay, okay please! Please stop!” You beg, the pain radiating up into your hip and side. You can’t take it anymore, your brain starting to go fuzzy as you hyperventilate.

He releases your leg, his hand wrapping around your throat to lift your face. The tears are streaming down your cheeks, mixing with the blood from the cut on your cheek. There’s no sympathy, not even regret in his eyes as he stares down at you.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but if you can’t behave, I’ll have to do just that.” He releases you as you continue to hyperventilate, your eyes starting to glaze. You’re distressing. Will Phil help you? Will he do what he has to do to keep you alive? If you die, there won’t be anything stopping your pack. The entire plan will be over. They’ll go after Shepherd, then they’ll hunt down Phil.

Cold ice water hits you in the face, shocking you back into clarity. Phil is holding the cup of water he’d been letting you drink from periodically. You blink at him as water drips into your eyes, your breaths hitching but far slower than they had been. You’re awake and aware now.

You didn’t even know it was possible to do that.

“Don’t distress on me now.” He says, putting the cup down. “We have so much ahead of us.” He moves around to the back of your chair, bending down until his breath hits your ear. “Besides, you make me help you out of distress, I might not be able to stop myself.”

Your eyes pinch closed as his lips brush the shell of your ear before he stands back up, tears mixing with the icy water still sliding down your face.

Christine nearly runs down the ramp once the plane has stopped on the runway. She’s jet lagged and worn out after eight hours of worrying, but she’s eager not only to finally get some news on you and your status, but to see her brother for the first time in a long time.

It’s not hard to find him.

“Chrissy!” He grins, hugging her tightly.

She has half a mind to complain about the nickname she’d endured her entire childhood, but she can’t find it in her as she hugs her brother tightly. She’s missed him, more than she realized. Their jobs have kept them busy, her with her medical studies and practice, and Alex with...whatever it is he does.

“It’s been far too long.” She says, pulling away from him. She’d love to stand there and hug him for an hour, but she can’t. They have more important things to do. Time is of the essence, if her worst fears are true.

“A lot has happened, a lot has changed.” He says.

She looks him over, spotting the more noticeable changes in comparison to the last time they were face to face. “You could say that.”

“We can talk about it later.” He turns to the other person with him, a woman. “Christine, this is Farah.” He introduces her. “Farah, this is my baby sister Christine.”

“Nice to meet you.” Farah says, shaking her hand.

“You as well.” Christine looks between them for a moment. She knows that look in Alex’s eyes as he looks at Farah.

“We should get moving.” Farah says, ignoring him.

“Laswell has moved off the grid.” Alex says, opening the driver’s side of the SUV.

Smart, if things are as bad as she thinks they are.

Christine gets into the back, letting out a long breath. She’s closer now to finding out what’s happened to you. The guilt is still eating her alive. If she just hadn’t left, if she hadn’t believed the phone call, put it above your safety.

Things might have been worse if she had stayed.

“Kate filled us in about everything.” Alex says as he drives away from the airfield. “At least in regards to the pack and your involvement.”

“There’s some things she’s not telling us.” Farah says. “Though if things are as bad as they sound, I don’t blame her.”

“I don’t know much of anything.” Christine says, staring out the window as they drive out of the city. “I feel like it’s my fault. If I hadn’t left her alone...”

“It’s hardly your fault.” Alex says, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. “If this was all planned, there wouldn’t have been anything that would stop it from happening.”

“They might have done worse if you had stayed there.�� Farah says, speaking Christine’s own fears aloud.

“I wish I could see her. Make sure she’s alright.” Christine says. “If something happens to her...”

“From what I hear she’s a hardy omega.” Alex says, trying to comfort her. “She’s withstood a lot. She can survive the 141, she’s probably giving them hell as we speak.”

**Content Warnings: light torture, choking to the point of almost passing out, blood, very detailed descriptions of pain, non-fatal stabbing**

It’s getting hard to breathe. Phil’s grip around your throat is getting tighter and tighter, less and less oxygen getting to your bloodstream and your brain. Your mouth has an almost permanent metallic taste as blood drips down your chin. Blood stains Phil’s arm from where you bit him, teeth marks red and angry looking from where they broke the skin.

“You fucking bitch.” He growls, jaw clenched. “Your alpha should have taught you some manners.”

His hand squeezes tighter, cutting the air off entirely. You begin to panic, tugging against the restrains with your raw, cut up wrists. Black dots begin to dance in your vision, your legs straining against the zip ties keeping them attached to the chair. Your hands and feet are going numb, your entire body tingling. This is it. You’re going to be choked to death.

He holds his hand there for a moment, letting you struggle before he lets go and you suck in a gasp of air. You slump over in the chair, blood splattering on the floor as you cough, your throat raw and sore. Tears burn in your eyes as you heave, trying to get the oxygen flowing through your body again.

Phil bends down to your level as you sit there, head hanging as blood drips from your mouth. Your tongue is raw from how many times you’ve bitten it. It’s impossible to tell how much time has really passed. There’s no windows in the room. The only light source is the cracks around the door behind you. Even then with the bright light in your face constantly, it’s hard to tell anything anymore.

“Feisty still, but everyone has their limits.” His hand cups your chin as he stands, lifting your face to follow him. His hand holds the back of your head up as he wipes at the blood under your nose and on your chin almost gently.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you stare up at him, unable to even care anymore that his hand is so close to your neck. All he has to do is move it down just slightly and squeeze and you’ll be unaware of anything around you, at the mercy of his bidding.

That would almost be a relief.

He dumps another icy cup of water over your head, keeping you from slipping too much into a panic. The cold water stings the cut on your chest and the one on your arm as it slides down your shoulders. You’ve lost the ability to feel the throbbing in your calf, numb to most of the pain in your body.

Why haven’t they come for you? Where is your pack?

Have they written you off for good? Was finding Shepherd more important than you?

Phil’s phone goes off, your stomach dropping. He stares at the screen for a second before turning back to you.

You shake your head, the tears cascading down your cheeks. “No,” You start to shake. “No, please-”

“You know I have to, darlin’.” He moves behind you, tugging on your hair to keep your head up as one of his men stands in front of you with a phone in hand.

He counts down on his fingers before pressing record.

“Seems you boys still can’t follow orders. Your omega sure wishes you would.” Phil says as he reaches around your head, holding your chin in his hand. He tilts your head back making you look up at him. “Don’t you, darlin’. Tell them. Tell them how much you wish they’d follow orders.”

You’re still crying, unable to stop as you stare at the camera. They really have given up on you. They’ve deemed you unworthy of saving. They’ve let you sit here and be beat up and tortured all because they put the job first.

They really have given up on you.

Are they even watching?

“Please,” You croak out, half begging your pack to care, half begging Phil to have mercy.

“Since you can’t seem to bring yourselves to care about your own omega,” He shifts slightly, someone handing him something behind you. You catch a glint of metal, your heart rate picking up. You’re panicking, breaths coming in shaky gasps. You know he can do worse. He’s threatened worse, but what is he going to do? “It seems you need a little more...motivation.”

You try to wiggle out of his grasp in panic, wrists bleeding again from tugging at the zip ties. They’re coated in your blood, your leg throbbing but you don’t care. You need to get away, get free. “No, no-”

You let out a scream.

It’s sharp and piercing, but nowhere near the sharp pain in your neck. It fires through your very nerve endings, making you aware of the very cells in your body. It shoots up into your brain, igniting every neuron in your brain. Your very blood feels like it’s boiling, your skin on fire from the pain. Every inhale feels like you’re breathing in sand, and every exhale is like glass shards dragging through your lungs and up your throat. The tears streaming down your face may as well be slicing through layers of skin, every wound pulsing and throbbing with a new kind of angry vengeance.

You’re sobbing, nearly choking on air as the pain continues to pulse in your body. It’s too much, every sensation inside and outside of your body meshing together in an agonizing harmony.

“Shhh.” Phil tries to shush you as he bends down, his cheek resting against the side of your head. “I know, I know. You’ll be alright.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head before letting you go limp in the chair.

Your scream still hangs in the air even after the video ends.

It’s otherwise silent in the room, all eight of them feeling the weight of their decisions on their shoulders. The scents in the air are full of pain and regret and guilt and anger.

“Was that fatal?” Kate asks, breaking the tense silence.

“No.” Christine chokes out, her voice shaky. Her hands are trembling where they’re tucked against her sides. Her arms are crossed over her chest, trying to bring herself some kind of comfort after what she had just watched. “He went for the scent gland. It’s not a fatal injury, unless you go too deep, but he knew what he was doing.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “It’s just incredibly painful.”

Her words hang in the air for a moment, all of them still trying to process what they had just seen.

John slams his hands on the table, all of them jumping. “I fucking told you.” He says, his voice laced with the deep growl of his alpha. “I fucking told you Kate, she should have been flown out here as soon as you made the call.”

“I know.” Kate says, undeterred by his anger. She’s seen it many times, though she’s rarely been on the receiving end of it. “I know, I made a bad call. None of us knew they would take it this far.”

“But we knew something was going on behind the scenes.” John says, still radiating anger. “All precautions should have been taken.”

“There was no guarantee her being here would have stopped them. She might not have been any safer here.” Kate says, trying to ease his anger, even though she knows it’s completely warranted. “This goes far deeper than we thought it did. Even before this plan was set into motion.” She waits a moment, letting the air settle. “A year ago, a convoy was smuggling missiles and other weapons into the Middle East in an off-the-books operation. The convoy was attacked and the missiles and arms were stolen by a Russian PMC group. The operation was conducted under the command of Shepherd, and the soldiers in the convoy were all Shadow Company.”

“That’s how Graves is tied into this.” Kyle says.

“It goes deeper than that.” Kate says, pulling up a file and displaying it on screen. “The missiles and weapons being smuggled weren’t being sent to aid allies in the Middle East. Shepherd sold them to AQ and the Russians. The PMC group that attacked Shadow Company was hired by Shepherd to make it look like an ambush.”

“Fucking weasel.” Simon growls.

“I don’t know how much Graves knows, or how much he helped hide the entire operation, but his ties to this go even deeper.” Kate says, and they all shift closer. “Graves has history with your omega.” She says, pulling up an old photo. “We combed through one of her brothers’ Facebook pages. Found an old photo of her dad with Graves. They served on the same base when her family lived in Texas before Graves left to join MARSOC. She would have still been a child at the time.”

They stare at the photo, Graves clearly identifiable as he stands next to another man, beers in their hands. There’s two other boys in the photo, young and grinning at the camera. Standing in front of Graves is a little girl, a happy grin on her face. They’re all in various combinations of red, white, and blue.

4th of July, they assume.

“That’s how she got into the institute so fast.” John says, staring at the photo. He’s never seen a photo of your father before. You must take after your mother. “Graves pulled the strings.”

Kate nods. “He did, but under the condition he would be the one to claim her when she grew old enough. The CIA wiped out that claim when they froze her file.”

The 141 all shift on their feet, sharing looks. John feels a sick twisting in his stomach at the implications. Your position in the photo suddenly makes sense. Anger burns in him, deep and bubbling like magma. He’ll kill the bastard.

“This is revenge then.” Johnny says.

“In a way, I think.” Kate says. “We took away what he wanted. Graves wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.”

“This all is what the initiative was created for.” Christine says, leaning against the table. “A contingency in case this all was uncovered.”

“A way to control us.” Kyle says.

Kate nods. “Yes. It was all a plan to give the 141 a weakness, a way to be controlled should the situation arise. In this case it just so happened to be the uncovering of his traitorous arms deals.”

“We were all pawns in this.” Christine says.

“We let them walk right in and take control like that.” John says, turning to Christine. “You let them walk in and take our omega.”

She turns to face him, undeterred by his agitation and anger. “I did what I thought was right at the time. I got a call from one of the front desk workers in the med center saying that someone was waiting in my office for me.” She explains. “They wouldn’t say who it was, and the whole thing felt off. I knew whoever would be visiting me was not going to be friendly, so I felt it was safer to leave her in the barracks than take her with me and risk something happening in a place she doesn’t know well. In the barracks at least she’d know places to hide and barricade herself.”

She takes a deep breath, still facing down John fearlessly. He’s coiled tight like a spring, ready to jump at any moment should he deem it necessary. It’s those protective instincts, the knowledge that his omega is somewhere else, taken unwillingly and being tortured feeding into that need to fight.

“My office door was open when I got there.” She continues. “I always leave it locked. I went in prepared to fight, but I was attacked from behind. Hit over the head and drugged with something fast acting, something that would keep me incapacitated long enough for him to strike.” She stares up into his eyes, projecting her scent just a bit to try and get him to calm down. “We all made mistakes here, things we thought were the right choice at the time.”

She’s not wrong. They all know it. They had just seen proof of it.

“The assailant?” John asks, turning back to Kate.

“Corporal McKinney.” Kate says. “He was in Shepherd’s pocket from the start. Someone who could watch first-hand. Someone who could sneak into the barracks unnoticed without many questions. He was likely the one that put the cameras up.”

“Fucking wanker.” Simon growls. “He approached her once in the mess. Early on. Tried to introduce himself to her. Backed off as soon as I intervened. Never tried again, at least that we know of.”

“She never mentioned him.” Christine says. “Or anyone else on base that might have tried to approach her.”

“Where is he now?” Kyle asks. They’re all angry, frustrated. How had they not seen this happening?

“Local police tracked his car to an abandoned airfield not far outside of Hereford.” Kate says. “He was dead inside. Police ruled it suicide.”

“I’m sure it was.” John says.

They all know it wasn’t.

“Shadow Company likely picked her up from there with orders to stage a suicide.” Kate says.

“One less loose string to worry about.” Simon says. “Covers their tracks in England.”

They all go quiet. How this had all happened right under their noses? They’re all guilty of falling for it, for being too trusting in a world they know they can’t be too careful in. Allies can turn on a dime and become enemies. Betrayals can be easily bought. Things can turn downhill within a blink of an eye. They’re supposed to be prepared for the worst, ready for every possibility.

They had written this off as a conspiracy, and now their omega is paying for it.

“We need a plan.” Farah says, breaking the silence.

“We can’t let Shepherd get away.” John says.

“We cannae just leave her.” Johnny argues against his alpha. It’s a brave thing, considering his alpha’s current mental state.

“I don’t know how much more she can take.” Simon backs his beta up, the desperation and pain on your face still visible in all of their minds.

“Let us go after Shepherd.” Alex says, offering up a solution. “He’s obviously watching for you to come after him.”

“We can move undetected.” Farah agrees. “He’s less likely to expect us. You need to focus on your omega. Shepherd will show himself again eventually.”

“Do we have a lead on their location?” Kyle asks, turning back to Kate.

She nods. “We do now. I sent a team out to try and track location through the videos and where they were being sent from.” She pulls a map up on screen. “We have a location.”

“Texas.” Alex says.

“He took her home.” Christine says.

“We have a plan then. We go after Graves, Farah and Alex start tracking Shepherd. Kate is eyes in the sky for us.” John says.

“She’s going to need medical attention as soon as possible.” Christine says. She looks at Kate. “Where is the nearest military base from their location?”

Kate types on her computer. “Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth.”

“Get me there and I’ll be waiting. She’s going to need someone she knows.” She says, looking at John. “She’s not going to just let anyone close to her after this. She may not even let you close.”

John stares down at her for a long moment. She stares back unflinchingly. She doesn’t get intimidated easily, not after years of dealing with institutes and alphas alike.

He lets out a breath, staring down at her for a long moment before he nods. “I trust you.”

“Short reunion this time.”

“I’m just glad I got to see your face again.” Christine says, looking up at Alex.

“Things are...complicated.” He says. “Maybe after all of this is over we can go and get some coffee. Talk about our lives...as much as we can.”

The corner of her mouth twitches up in a smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Alex pulls her into a hug, holding her tightly. “You’re doing good work, Chrissy.”

She shakes her head at the nickname, but she holds him just as tightly. “I’m trying to.”

Alex pulls away, squeezing her arms. “I’d say you are. You care a lot. To the point some might call it a character defect.”

She scoffs, slapping his chest playfully. “Not like you’re much better.” She glances at the car where Farah is waiting patiently. “I’m happy for you.”

“Oh, we’re....” Alex blushes to his ears. “We’re not...”

She gives him a look. “Mhm sure.” She looks up at him one more time. “Be safe.”

“As best I can.” He says. “Take care of yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself either.”

“I try not to be.” She squeezes his hand before stepping away.

She watches the SUV drive off, stomach churning with nerves for both of them. Shepherd is dangerous, but Alex has fearlessly faced down danger since he was a kid. He’s always been brave and determined, loyal and unafraid to do what he thinks is right no matter what. She trusts him to take care of himself, she trusts Farah to help him, even if she only met the woman today.

She trusts them both to take care of each other. She trusts them both to help put an end to this.

**Content Warning: Blood, vomiting, 'mega forces herself into a panic attack**

Your body aches, muscles screaming. You can’t take much more. Your cheek throbs painfully, swollen to the point you almost can’t see out of your left eye. The pain burning from your neck makes the other pain in your body nearly irrelevant, nearly nonexistent. It’s like electricity, burning through your very cells. Every movement seems to make it flare, makes the electric shock jolt through you. The burning pain that follows makes you whimper, a pathetic choking sound squeaking out from your bruised throat.

The pain makes you nauseous, vomit staining the front of your shirt and pants. It’s mostly bile and the little food you’ve gotten since your kidnapping.

Nutrient bars, meant to keep you fed and nourished for a short period of time.

You may never be able to eat them again.

“Fuck.” Graves curses, staring at his phone. “They’ve backed off.” He steps up to you, looking down on your pathetic form. “Looks like your boys do care about you after all.”

Do they? Are they really coming for you, or have they simply given up chasing Shepherd because they lost all their leads. Will they come for you, or will they leave you here to rot? What will Graves do then? Try to take you as his own omega? Kill you out of anger?

Your stomach churns and you can feel the bile rising.

You vomit again, the warm liquid splashing into your lap. You can’t lean far enough anymore, not without the risk of not being able to pull yourself back up, not with the pain burning your every movement. You can’t even lift your head anymore, your body weak and battered and bruised. There’s blood everywhere, on you and on the floor. You can still taste it in your mouth, mixing with the sourness of bile.

Graves gives you a disgusted look before turning to the others in the room. “Duran, Lewis, keep watch. The rest of you come with me.”

He leaves the room for the first time in what you assume is days. For once the cocktail of scents begins to disperse, all but two of the alphas finally disappearing. Where they’re going or what they’re going to do, you don’t know. You can’t bring yourself to care either way. You just want to go home. You want to see your mother again, your brothers and sisters, even your father would be a welcome sight after this. You want your alpha, you want him to hold you, to take you in his arms, keep you safe.

He abandoned you. He left you to suffer like this.

Your breathing picks up as you sit there, chin to chest as you stare at your bloody shirt. The smells in the room are awful, the scents no longer there to block out the sour bile and metallic stench blood. Tears are streaming down your cheeks, pink tinted splatters dripping onto your pants. What are you going to do now? What are they going to do to you now? Will they keep you alive long enough for your pack to arrive then kill you in front of them? Will they torture them too, make them watch as the life slowly leaves your eyes in revenge for chasing after Shepherd?

A sob rips through your sore throat up out of your lips.

You just want to go home.

You just want to be free.

You can be.

Distress. The final defense. The last ditch effort omegas have to save themselves. Distress will lead to your omega taking over, and if nothing else, a quiet death you won’t even realize is happening. Your body will give out and you’ll be safely tucked into the back of your brain, comforted by your instincts. You won’t have to worry anymore. You won’t have to care.

If nothing else, the pain will be over.

I’m sorry.

You begin to breathe heavier, ignoring the pain in your body as you push yourself to hyperventilate. The alphas behind you might do something, might try to stop it. They could, but would they even know how? Would it even work if you got too far? They’re not your alpha. They can’t comfort you, bring you back from the edge without forcing you. Will they even bother?

You tilt your head to the side, putting pressure on your injured scent gland. You sob at the pain, the burning flowing straight into your very cells, making them scream. You push through it, your wrists twisting against the zip ties, digging them further into your already damaged wrists. The pain pushes you to a point of panic, your heart rate through the roof. You can feel it, the tightening of your muscles, your joints locking into place.

You’ve never done it purposefully before, but in this state, it’s not hard.

They left you. They’ve abandoned you. They’ve given up. It’s all your fault they left. They’re not coming for you. You’re not worth it.

The thoughts send you down the spiral, the edges of your vision starting to go dark. You’re floating away, hands and feet going numb as your wheezing, shallow breaths block the oxygen from getting to your brain. You’re sinking, your body floating as you begin to retreat into the back of your mind. The cage is open, your omega soothing you as you drift off, curling up in the back recesses of your mind.

You’re safe now. She whispers.

There’s no going back.

You’re going to get out.

Even if you have to do it yourself.

The last breath you remember taking is shaky, making you cough before your vision begins to fade to grey, then to black. You’re getting out of here no matter what. You’re going to go to sleep. If you fail, you’ll never know it. Your death will be quick and gentle and you’ll never know it happened until you’ve moved on to whatever is next.

You won’t remember any of this. That’s your only consolation.

Your vision fades to black as all memory and awareness leaves you. The last thing you remember is the snap of the zip ties around your wrists as they break.

“Graves has moved with some of his men to the western building. It’s likely the hostage is being held in the eastern building. Gaz and I will go after Graves. Ghost and Soap will try to secure the hostage.”

“Keller is on her way to NAS JRB as we speak. They’re on standby for medevac.”

“Stealth is our priority. They know we’re here, we risk losing the hostage. Quick and quiet, take them by surprise. The faster we do this, the sooner it will all be over.”

**Content Warning: blood and slight gore, someone gets shot offscreen, some gorey and explicit imagery towards the end**

He’s not unfamiliar with high stakes missions. It’s his specialty. He’s cool and calm under stress and pressure, which is why he gets chosen for them. He can detach easily, get the job done and then go home and forget.

So why are his hands shaking?

This isn’t a high stakes mission, not like one he’s used to doing. The stakes are higher, higher than he’s ever had before. It’s not just eliminating some faceless target, it’s not just rescuing some faceless hostage.

It’s rescuing you.

He hates that you were involved in all of this. He hates that they all fell for it, blind to the truth, blind to Shepherd’s traitorous actions. They refused to entertain those conspiratorial thoughts, and now you’re paying for it. He knows why Price made the decision he did, he understands the logic behind it.

He hated it, though.

How far would Graves have taken it if they had chosen to go after you first. Would things have gotten this bad? Or would he still have hurt you, tortured you just out of sheer anger for what happened between the two of you? He wouldn’t give up just because Shepherd told him to stop. He’s ruthless and uncaring of who he hurts and why. He gets his orders and he completes them, no matter what, so long as whoever is giving those orders can pay a high enough price.

How much did he get for this assignment? How much did he settle for once he learned you were involved?

Far too much despite that fact, most likely. Maybe he should become a merc. Less rules and more money.

It’s not a bad idea.

He lasers his focus on the building as they creep through the trees, moving silently. Two against however many are inside. It was impossible to tell with how many were moving between the two buildings constantly.

He brought the whole squad. He planned on putting up a fight regardless.

At least they have the element of surprise on their hands.

“We move silently through the building.” He says as they approach the door. There’s two guards standing outside. “They know we’re inside, things could go downhill quickly.”

“On you, LT.” Johnny says, taking point beside him.

“Drop one, I’ll take the other.” He says, aiming at one of the two Shadows guarding the door.

It’s quick and quiet, their bodies slumping onto the damp dirt. Simon scans the area before moving forward to the door. It’s unlocked, Johnny pushing it open slowly to check for a trip wire.

None.

Sloppy, or perhaps on purpose. They can’t be too careful. Shepherd will have let Graves know they’re not on his trail anymore. He’ll be expecting them.

They split up, combing the bottom floor of the building. He takes out two more Shadows, checking every room for a sign of their target, but they find none.

“Second floor.” He says, waiting at the base of the stairwell for Johnny to join him.

“You think she’s in here?” Johnny asks as they creep up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise.

“Well, we’ll find out.”

It’s far too unguarded to where they’re holding you. Graves will have assumed they’d split up. He must have moved most of his men to the western building to put up as much of a barricade as possible. He can picture Graves standing there, the smirk on his face as he holds a gun to your head. Will he take that risk, shoot you in front of them and give them nothing to live for? Or will he use a knife, letting you die a slow, painful death in front of them?

Or, maybe he moved them to the western building to make them think that’s where you are. Focus their attacks there so they leave you behind. He gets cornered, he send the word to kill you before any of them can get to you.

More red herrings.

He pauses before he reaches the top of the steps, taking out the shadow standing down the hallway. They split up again, looking through rooms at the top of the stairs, making their way down the hallway.

One of the doors is open, and he silently motions for Johnny. He counts down silently in his head before rounding the corner, rifle up as he scans the room. His stomach churns as he looks inside, taking a couple cautious steps forward. He’s seen a lot of things in his time, done a lot of things, but this is different.

“Screaming Jesus.” Johnny says, lowering his rifle as he steps in behind Simon.

There’s blood everywhere.

It’s coating the floors, leaving a sticky residue as it dries. It’s the room you were in. He recognizes it from the video, and the bright light in the corner is a dead giveaway. The chair in the middle of the room has been broken, the wood of the arms snapped off and splintered. There’s four bloody zip ties on the floor, along with several instruments on the floor including the ice pick.

He wants to shove that into Graves’ eye for what he did to you.

There’s two bodies on the floor, one of them dead in a pool of his own blood, the other choking as blood seeps onto the floor under him. He steps up to the shadow, putting his boot on his chest and pushing. The Shadow lets out a groan, coughing up blood.

“Where the fuck is she?” He growls, staring down at the quickly paling face.

“Fucking bitch went crazy.” He chokes out. “Went running.”

Simon steps back, pulling out his handgun and firing two bullets into the Shadow’s head.

“Price, we found the room.” He says into his comm. “The hostage isn’t here. A half-dead Shadow said she bolted.”

“LT.” Johnny says, motioning to the door, the only other exit from the room. There’s a bloody handprint on the door, one too small to be one of the Shadows’.

“I think she managed to get out.” He says, staring at the handprint. His stomach drops, his hand tightening around his rifle. He glances down at the bodies, throats cut and faces bloody. “I think her omega took over.”

“You and Soap go after her. She’ll do the one thing she knows to do, the one instinctual thing she can do if she has nothing to fight.” Price says. “We’ve got Graves cornered.”

Simon pushes the door open, cool air flowing into the stuffy room. There’s bloody shoe prints heading down the stairs. He can see the rapid turn on the concrete below before they head off towards the trees.

“I’ve got a trail.” He says.

“Go.” Price says. “Simon...you know what you have to do.”

He does.

He motions for Johnny to follow before hurrying down the stairs. The longer they delay, the further you’ll get. He doesn’t doubt some Shadows followed you if you made that much of a ruckus. The more time they waste, the more dangerous things get, and not just because they might lose you or the shadows might catch up.

He races towards the treeline, rifle in hand, but there’s no one else standing guard. Price and Gaz will have taken care of those in the other building, and those that were outside probably went after you.

He slows once they break the treeline, trying to catch any hint of your scent that might be left. His only hope is that you’ve left a trail. He’s a tracker, he knows what he’s doing. His senses are stronger, more in tune. He can find you. He can track you down. He has to.

The guilt is eating him alive. If something happens to you, he’ll never forgive himself. He’s right here, so close and yet so far. You’re running on borrowed time and there’s only so much of it left. Eventually you have to slow, eventually your body will start giving up. Will it be too late then? If a Shadow finds you when you can’t fight back...

“Dead Shadow ahead.” Johnny says, motioning to the slumped over body ahead of them. “We’re on the trail.”

“Let’s hope she left more markers on the way.” He says, kicking the Shadow, but the stab wound in his neck is all Simon needs to know. “Keep going straight.” He says, continuing on the path they’ve been following. He needs just a whiff, a hint of your scent. Something.

They come across another dead Shadow, this one off to the side of the path they had been following. He turns, making an adjustment before moving forward. Johnny keeps close, both of them watching for more Shadows, or for any glimpse of you. All they can hope is they’re on the right path.

He nearly sets off in a run as he hears a sound ahead. It’s a yowl, almost like a mountain lion. It sends a tingle down his back, his alpha blaring warning alarms. A threatened omega is a dangerous thing. Fierce and protective of themselves, capable of great feats and lethal if you get too close.

It’s you, no doubt.

Price had been right.

He has no choice.

He pushes forward, his steps quick as he makes his way through the bushes. He spots you near a boulder, trying to fight off a Shadow. He’s got the upper hand, using his size against you. You’re getting tired, your movements slowing. Simon aims with his rifle, a shot to the head dropping the Shadow. You drop into a crouch, surveying the trees. You’re covered in blood, a knife in your hand as your wild eyes search for them.

“Distract her.” He says to Johnny. “Make yourself as unthreatening as possible. I’ll go around and get her from behind.”

He doesn’t even wait for an acknowledgement before he’s moving, slipping around to the side of the boulder. Johnny steps into the clearing slowly, holding his hands up, talking to you quietly.

“Easy, kitten. Ye know who I am.” Johnny is careful not to get too close, his steps slow as he moves to the side, getting you to turn. “We’re just here to help ye. Get ye home and safe.”

You’re holding the knife up, brandishing it at Johnny. Simon isn’t sure if you’ve ever thrown a knife before, but he doesn’t put it past you to try in this state.

He hopes Johnny’s reflexes are fast enough.

He slips out from behind the boulder as you pause, wasting no time as he races up behind you and grabbing you before you can bolt or go for Johnny’s neck. You let out another yowl, struggling against him as he wraps an arm around your chest. Your teeth sink into his arm and he lets out a curse, but he doesn’t let go. He lets go, they won’t get another chance. It’ll be too late.

He doesn't want to do it. His mind flashes back to his father and mother, one of the few times his mother fought back. It hadn’t lasted long before her body went limp, practically a ragdoll in his father’s hold. Simon had grabbed Tommy and ran, barricading them in his room. They didn’t want to see what was going to happen next.

He doesn’t want that kind of control over you, he doesn’t want to put you through that trauma. The disorientation, the fear, the confusion. That must have been what it felt like after being sedated during your heat. You had been sick for days, crying in Johnny’s room. He had heard every sob, every attempt to soothe you.

He put you through that. He made you face that down despite the fear on your face as Johnny escorted you to the med center.

And now he has to do it again.

He has to this time. He has no choice. His only other option is to let you die. Price will never forgive him. Johnny won’t even look at him again. He’d betray them worse than you did, worse than Shepherd, worse than Graves.

You never really betrayed them in the first place, though.

You were afraid, untrusting of them, unsure because of your past. He had been foolish to blame you, foolish to think it was somehow your fault. You acted out of fear, out of terror. How you must have felt in those moments when that beta showed up, when you faced down Shepherd alone, when you returned to find your space invaded and those cameras all over your room. They weren’t there to protect you, they weren’t there to support you. They left you alone and you hid it from them because you didn’t know any better, because you were so afraid.

He’s a goddamn fucking prick he’s been.

Tears blur his vision as he tucks his free arm behind you, shifting your position just enough so he can get his hand around the back of your neck. You kick out with your legs, releasing his arm, your head tilting back in a last ditch, instinctual effort to protect yourself.

His eyes squeeze closed as you let out a yelp, his fingers digging into the back of your neck. It’s hard enough it will leave a bruise, but he has to be sure. It’s the only thing that might save you. It’s his only option, his only chance to keep you alive.

“There you go.” He says quietly into your ear. “Need you to relax for me.”

Your body goes limp in his hold, head resting back against his hand as he holds you there. Your muscles twitch as the tension leaves you, eyelids fluttering before they close. His arm stings where your teeth had sunk into his skin, hard enough to draw blood, but he doesn’t care.

“Keep resting.” He says, easing his hand from the back of your neck as he shifts you in his arms. “Gonna get you somewhere safe.”

You’re like a ragdoll in his arms as he lifts you up, cradling you against his chest. You’re warm, hair sticking to your forehead.

“Call it in.” He tells Johnny, his eyes still glued to your face. “We need that medevac now.”

“Price, we got her.” Johnny says into his comm. “We need medevac stat.”

You look so peaceful despite the blood soaking your body. Partially yours, partially the Shadows you killed in your escape. You look like a gruesome painting, a gorey depiction of an omega pushed too far. Something they’d put on display in a museum, a photo that would win prizes in celebration of such a natural state caught on camera. It would be circulated for decades, something talked about centuries from now.

A raw view of humanity’s inner beasts.

He can’t stand it, seeing you like this. They did this to you. They are the reason you’re like this. They made the bad call in the end, they put you through this. You won’t forgive them, not after everything. You went weeks without them, without a word and then this happened. Innocence tainted in the blood of the guilty. The bloodstained omega held in the arms of the blood-tainted alpha. He should be the one covered in their blood. He should be the one carrying the weight of torture and desperation on his shoulders.

The guardian dog covered in blood in the name of protecting his innocent sheep.

How he’s failed you. How they all failed you.

He pushes past the pain, past the grief, past the guilt and the horror of what they did to you, what they put you through.

They’ve got you back. You’re safe.

It’s over.

NEXT ->

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#call of duty #call of duty fic #poly 141 #poly 141 x reader #tf 141 x reader #John price x reader #captain price x reader #Simon Riley x reader #Ghost x reader #Kyle Garrick x reader #gaz x reader #soap x reader #John mactavish x reader #a/b/o #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #omegaverse

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zarameraki · 3 months

Text

⁺✩₊📨˚✧ 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 ⋆｡💵₊✩°

: ̗̀➛ tropes: fem! reader 𖥔 minors do not interact 𖥔 nsfw 𖥔 he's obsessed to the max 𖥔 ceo x assistant 𖥔 grumpy x sunshine 𖥔 she talks a lot x he listens a lot 𖥔 loved you for so long 𖥔 major fluff 𖥔 sexual content 𖥔 alternate universe 𖥔 nanami's first time 𖥔 you talk him through it 𖥔 close proximity 𖥔

: ̗̀➛ words: 5.6k

: ̗̀➛ notes: hey all! sorry for the inactivity. im got reality to handle as well. i promise ill be more active soon. the creativity juices are running on low fuel atm. thanks for all the love and support you have have given me. if you enjoy my work, please leave a comment, like, and reblog! thank you & ily. enjoy!

Nanami couldn’t focus on the meeting.

He never could when you were in attendance, sitting off to the side, diligently jotting notes. His eyes flicked back and forth from the powerpoint presentation to the strand of hair bothering you despite tucking it behind your ear thirty-seven times.

Yes, he was keeping count.

His dick constrained against his pants when you bit the end of your pen between your teeth, getting a bit of your red lipstick smeared around the tool. He wished he was that pen, with the mark of your lips on his skin instead. He even wished he was your tea mug sometimes.

Jesus, something was terribly wrong with him. You were wrong for him. He was your boss; you were his assistant. Your relationship was strictly professional—has been for three years now. Three torturous years of admiring you from the sidelines. Three torturous years of hearing you yap about going on dates with random men off the internet. Three torturous years of chafing his dick in the bathroom every morning, noon, and night to the thought of you.

Your scent, your breaths, your skin, your hair, your eyes, your mouth—God, he loved your mouth—especially when it moved and produced the loveliest sound he’s ever heard. He wanted nothing more than to print you onto his skin for the rest of his life.

Nanami scowled at the silver-haired intern who kept side-eyeing your cleavage. If only it weren’t for that bastard. Firing him crossed his mind every time he popped up like a weasel, but Nanami needed a solid reason.

“—that’s alright with you, Mr. Nanami?”

Nanami’s attention snapped back to the presenter. What was he speaking about? Budget? Strategies for the future? Increases in revenue? Whatever it was, Nanami had one answer. “Yes.”

“Lovely, we’ll go ahead with the renovations for our research and development department. They’ll be happy to know their resources are being updated!”

Ah. Well, either way, he could care less. Whatever made his employees happy, he wasn’t afraid to spend a pretty penny. That’s why Nanami Kento was universally loved by everyone. Even his enemies—if he had any to begin with—would be his allies. He didn’t often put himself on the pedestal, but he does admit every now and then, he was a jack of all trades.

“That was a satisfying meeting, wasn’t it?” you chirped as you both entered the elevator. Nanami caught sight of the silver-serpent catching up and jabbed the button to close the doors.

Unfortunately, the intern pushed his hand in between and laughed in an annoying sound he called a voice, sending a twitch in Nanami’s eyes.

“Oh, Satoru!” you greeted, standing closer to his side.

“Boss,” Satoru said to Nanami, then turned to you, whispering, “Beautiful,” loud enough for him to hear.

You snorted, waving a hand. “Oh, stop it. I hope the meeting wasn’t too much for you. Lots of changes we’ve made for the fiscal year, huh?”

Nanami stared bored at the closed doors with the two behind him.

“You made it easier,” Satoru replied.

“Were you copying my notes?”

“Come on, sweetheart. This is corporate. Not college. A little cheating hurts nobody.”

Nanami heard your uncomfortable chuckle and clenched his fists tight. The word ‘cheating’ was a trigger for you. Your last relationship ended with your boyfriend of three months sleeping with your friend simply because she had more money and didn’t work for someone. Nanami was sure you’d quit and almost placed an offer to give you a proper role in the company, but you brushed it all off by stating how much you cherished being his assistant. He’d fallen madly, madly in love with you. He knew when he’d make you his wife, you’d be the boss.

“That’s my floor,” Satoru announced. “Let’s do dinner soon, yeah?”

You simply nodded.

“Always a pleasure meeting the man of the hour,” the silver-ass said to Nanami before exiting.

You stepped up to your boss’ side, sighing. “He just doesn’t know when to give up. It’s almost adorable.”

“I believe ‘agitating’ is the word you’re looking for.”

You laughed it off. Nanami didn’t think he was particularly a funny guy until he met you. “Satoru’s harmless.”

“Will you, though?” he asked, clearing his throat. “Go to dinner with him?”

You glanced up at Nanami, and smiled. He stared straight ahead with a tight tick in his jaw. Your smile broadened. “I’d love to,” you replied, finding his body tense, “but not with him.”

Nanami slowly dragged his eyes down to you. Your blinks were slow, weighed down by the thickness of your long lashes. His eyes dipped to your lips, then back to your gaze. “Well, I hope you do with someone. Dinner is an important meal of the day.”

He was an idiot.

“That’s surprising coming from you, Mr. Nanami.”

“How so?”

You shrugged lightly, eyes twinkling. “I’ve never seen you eat dinner, let alone leave the office around that time.”

Nanami adjusted his tie, feeling a bit self-conscious. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to take the plunge. “Well, maybe we should change that.”

Your eyebrow arched slightly, curiosity piqued. “Change what?”

“Since you’re staying late to catch up on work,” he said, his voice steadying, “how about we have dinner here together?”

You paused, surprise flashing across your face before you smiled warmly. “That sounds nice. I could use a break, and it’s been a long day.”

Relief washed over him, and he allowed himself to smile back. “Great. I’ll order something for us. Any preferences?”

You shook your head, still smiling. “I’m fine with anything, Mr. Nanami.”

“Please, call me Kento,” he said softly.

“All right, Kento,” you replied, your tone gentle. “Thank you.”

As he walked out of the elevator, he felt a sense of accomplishment and, perhaps, excitement—an emotion he’d felt strictly in your presence. It wasn’t a grand romantic gesture, but it was a step in the right direction. Tonight, you were his, even if only for a little while. And maybe, just maybe, he'd find the courage to tell you how he really felt.

As the morning passed, he buried himself in his work, but his mind constantly wandered. Every so often, he'd steal a glance in your direction, watching you as you diligently typed away on your computer or answered phone calls. There was something about the way you moved, the way you smiled even when you were focused, that captivated him completely.

Around mid-morning, Nanami's concentration was broken when a male worker from another department walked over to your desk. He was carrying a file, but instead of simply dropping it off, he started chatting with you. The man was smiling, clearly enjoying the conversation. Nanami's grip on his pen tightened as he watched the interaction unfold.

The male worker leaned casually against your desk, making you laugh at something he said. Nanami's heart pounded in his chest. He hated how easy it was for others to make you smile like that. He felt a pang of jealousy, a possessive urge to step in and assert that you were his . . . though you didn't know it yet.

As the conversation continued, you glanced up and caught Nanami staring. Your eyes met, and you smiled softly at him. He quickly looked away, feeling a rush of embarrassment and anger at himself for being so obvious. His face felt hot, and he cursed under his breath, trying to refocus on his work.

The rest of the day passed in a similar fashion. Nanami found it hard to concentrate, his mind continually drifting back to you. He tried to remind himself that he needed to be professional, but it was a losing battle. Every time he heard your laugh or saw your smile, his heart ached with a mixture of longing and possessiveness.

The evening had grown quiet, with the soft hum of office equipment and the distant sounds of the city outside. When the delivery boy finally arrived, Nanami stood up and walked over to meet him.

“Oh, I’ve got it!” you said, standing from your seat and taking out your credit card.

Nanami tapped his card without a second thought; he’d always be willing to pay for anything when it came to you.

“Sir, this was going to be my treat.”

“Next time,” he replied.

You smiled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Next time, it is.”

He led the way to his office, opening the door for you. You set the food out on the table, and for a moment, there was an awkward silence as you both settled onto the sofa.

Nanami cleared his throat. “I hope you like what I ordered. I wasn’t sure what you preferred, so I got a bit of everything.”

You smiled warmly, appreciating his thoughtfulness. “This looks great. Thank you.”

You began eating, the silence stretching between you both. Nanami felt frustrated at himself. You’ve worked for him for three years and he still couldn’t harness the ability of speaking to you casually. He wanted to make conversation, to make this moment more comfortable, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. He glanced at you, watching as you took a bite and then met his gaze.

“This is really good,” you said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realise how hungry I was.”

He smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. “I’m glad you like it.”

You continued eating, the silence now less awkward and more companionable. Nanami stole glances at you, noting the way you enjoyed the food, the way your eyes sparkled even in the dim office light.

When the last bites were eaten and the containers cleared away, you leaned back in your chair, looking content. “Thank you for this. It was really nice.”

He smiled softly, his heart full. “Anytime. I’m glad we could do this.”

“About damn time,” you muttered.

Nanami blinked.

You sucked in a sharp breath, realizing what slipped your mouth. “Mr. Nanami— I— I only meant that—” You surrendered with a sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “Damn it.”

Licking his lips, Nanami shook his leg anxiously, wondering what exactly you’d meant. Were you wanting to have dinner with him for a while now? A platonic dinner? Or was it, and he could be entirely wrong, more? Were you perhaps . . . also rowing the same boat as him?

“I should’ve extended an invitation a while ago,” Nanami whispered.

Your eyes locked with his.

“Three years ago, to be exact,” he continued, awaiting your reaction. “In an intimate sense. Or professional, if that’s what you’d prefer. I’m happy either way. Unless this has made you uncomfortable—”

“Kento.”

He stopped to catch his breath. “Yes?”

You reached out and rested your hand on his knee, your eyes moving from his body to his face. “Next time, like you mentioned, can I treat you to dinner at my place?” The caress of your thumb set him aflame—a tiny gesture, yet powerful. “Unless it makes you uncomfor—”

Nanami cupped the back of your head and pulled you into a feverish kiss. He moaned at the first touch, savoring the sweet taste of you, the smoothness of your lips, and the sweep of your tongue against his. He didn’t dare break the kiss, tugging you out of your chair and onto his firm lap. His mouth was everywhere—your jaw, your neck, your collarbones—as he deftly unbuttoned your blouse. He was a madman, lost in the moment.

“I’ll do it,” you chuckled as he fumbled with the clasp of your bra. “I didn’t peg you for an inexperienced man.”

“I’ve been saving myself for—”

“The right woman?” you snorted.

“For you,” he stated firmly, cupping your cheek. “The last three years have been agonising. Whenever you’re near, I can’t focus. Whenever you laugh, I can’t breathe. Whenever some other bastard tries to flirt with you, my sanity chips away until all I want to do is take you away. Mark you as mine.” His possessiveness sent a shiver down your spine, making your back arch. “That’s exactly what I’ll do tonight. Is that okay with you?”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. “More than.”

“You always know the right thing to say.” He smiled against your lips, slipping off your bra in the process. Through the kiss, you guided his hand to your breast. Just because he was inexperienced didn’t mean you were. Nanami should know by now that you had a little zest in you. “Like this, darling?”

You sighed as he pinched your nipples, his eyes marvelling at the sight of your breasts. “Yeah. You can put your mouth on them, too.”

His lips latched onto your left nipple swiftly. Your fingers buried themselves in the back of his hair as your hips ground against his erection while he nibbled and sucked on your breasts. He left them sore and bruised, kissing his way up to your collarbones, neck, and finally, your desperate lips.

Nanami picked you up with one arm, using the other to swipe whatever papers were on the table onto the floor.

“There are important contracts in there, Mr. Nanami,” you said as he laid you back onto the mahogany surface. “Don’t expect me to clean it up in the morning.”

“You’re the most important thing right now and always,” he replied, loosening his tie and tossing it over his shoulder. “And you will call me by my first name in private.”

You raised an eyebrow, relishing the sight of him slowly exposing his torso, button by button. “Yes, Kento.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, shrugging off his dress shirt and draping himself over you, his fingers gently closing around your neck as he kissed you deeply. “It must be exhausting walking in a tight skirt all day,” he whispered against your lips, finding the zipper of your pencil skirt and lowering it slowly. “If you want, I can change the dress code for my favourite assistant.”

“I’m your only assistant,” you said, letting him remove your skirt. “And I like my tight skirts, thank you very much.”

“I don’t like how the men stare at your back.”

“Sue me for having a perfect ass.”

He shrugged. “You have my lawyer’s contact number.”

A laugh bubbled out of you, which he immediately stole with another kiss. You locked your arms around his neck. “If wearing tight clothes gets me incentives like this, I’ll do it every day.”

He narrowed his brown eyes. “I can’t control your wardrobe choices.” His fingers trailed down your left breast, making your breath hitch as he grazed your sensitive nipples, then continued down to your stomach and under your panties. “But I have full control over your body tonight, yes?”

You pecked his lips. “Absolutely.”

Nanami wasn’t quite rubbing your clit—it felt rather ticklish. “You’re making a face. Am I doing something wrong, darling?”

“Not exactly.” You found his hand between your legs and lifted it higher, pressing his fingers directly onto your clit. It was embarrassing how wet you already were. “Rub here.”

He rubbed there, and you took in a shuddering breath, nodding to encourage him to keep fucking me with those skilled fingers, Nanami Kento—fingers you had admired far too often, especially when he performed pen tricks with them.

“How many . . . erm, how do I word this?” He looked conflicted as he murmured words to himself.

“What? I won’t judge.”

Nanami looked adorable when flushed. “How many fingers would you like . . . inside of you?”

You pressed your lips together, holding back laughter at his reddened face. This was the first time you'd be taking a man's virginity, and you wanted to make sure it was as good for him as it would be for you. “I can take three.”

“Wow,” he breathes out, clearing his throat.

“I’ve taken a fist before.”

His eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry?”

You laughed, cupping his face. “I’m just joking. I only wanted to see your reaction.” He was still flabbergasted as you kissed him. “But it is possible. I wouldn’t suggest it right now.”

“Right now,” he repeats. Yes, right now. Eventually, you’d want his whole damn fist inside of you. “I’ll start with two.”

“Middle and ring finger. Never index. It’s a rookie mistake.”

“Of course.” Nanami relieved your clit and slid down your centre. “God, you’re soaking my hand, darling.” His words sent a ripple through you. Then his fingers slowly slid inside your tight heat, making him grunt.

“How is it?” you whispered, massaging the back of his head while the other rested on the side of his neck.

“Warm,” he said. “And . . . clamping?”

This was entertainment for you.

“Warm and clamping is one way to describe it. You can start moving your fingers in and out of me. Curl them, tap them, whatever you want.” Your tongue licked his upper lip, surprising him. “And if you want to blow my orgasm through the roof, circle your thumb on my clit. Don’t hold back.”

And he didn’t.

Nanami drove his fingers inside your pussy, unknowingly hitting your g-spot, and flinching when you cried out his name. The pad of his thumb rubbed your clit, or if he complained about a cramp, he’d used the mound of his palm, cupping your entire vagina.

“I’m close—” You let out strained breaths, gripping his hair or shoulders.

“Close to what?”

“You’re going to make me say it?”

Nanami appeared genuinely puzzled. “Close to your orgasm?” Oh, my god. He was genuinely puzzled. Why wouldn’t he be? You couldn't expect him to know about even the most obvious sex-related things. Part of you was excited to show him your vibrator and have him guess what it was.

“Yes, Kento. I’m close to my orgasm.”

He grinned with pride. Your heart melted, and you grabbed his face, kissing him as if your life hung in the balance. Amid his fervent moans, you came gushing down, drenching his hand with your release.

Pulling his hand out, he stared at your orgasm. “That’s quite a lot.”

“Oh, my god, stop.” You covered your face, suddenly embarrassed by how much you’d come.

“I’m sorry, darling. I meant it in a positive way. I’m very flattered. And thankful that you taught me how to please you this way.”

You caught him about to lick his fingers, causing you to shout in protest and pull his wrist back sharply. “No!”

“What? What is it?”

“You can't just— You're all about cleanliness and stuff. I don't want you breaking your own rules for that.”

Nanami smiled. “I’d break all my rules for you.” He went to go lick again, but you quickly pulled his hand towards your chest and wiped it on there. His face contorted to frustration. “What the fuck?”

Your brows shot up. This was the first time you’d heard him curse. It was so hot. You wanted him to say it again. “It’s dirty.”

“It’s a part of you.” He made a tch sound and retrieved his tie from the floor. “Give me your hands.” Taking your wrists, he bound them with the material behind your waist.

“Kinky,” you said.

Nanami stayed silent, his expression now one of disappointment, his brows furrowed deeply. The confusion that once marked his demeanor had given way to a completely different persona. “If you won’t allow me to taste you from your hands”—he pushed your ankles up on the desk and sank between your legs—“I’ll drink straight from the source.”

“Kento, wait—”

Too late.

You broke into a chorus of moans as his tongue licked and lapped at your pussy. His mouth engulfed your clit and sucked on it hard, the tip of his tongue now swirling the little bud. His fingers spread your folds, as he cleaned every last drop of your juices, even probing your little hole that they seeped from.

By the end of it, you were drenched in sweat, tears brimming in your eyes, your wrists throbbing from the restraints. Your body swayed side to side, legs trying to close him away, but he remained persistent in eating you out like a madman. “Ken . . . I can’t—”

“Have you learned your lesson?”

“Yes, goddamn it. Yes. I’m sorry.” You would let this man lick your whole body from now on. “Just kiss me already. Please.”

He kissed your clit and travelled up to your stomach, each nipple, and to your mouth as he undid the tie so you could cling to him. His mouth met your wet eyes. “I’m sorry, darling. I got carried away a bit.”

“No, don’t be. I loved it.” You planted a kiss on his cheek, making him smile bashfully, just like he had ten minutes earlier. “But I’d prefer someone else to touch me now.”

His gaze grew intense. “Who?”

You blinked. “Your friend.”

He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. “My— My friend?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Have you spoken to him before?”

You eyed his prominent bulge. “I’d like to. Touch him, kiss him, have him inside of me.”

Nanami stared at you with disbelief. “No.”

“No?”

He gritted his jaw, fists at his side. You were completely frazzled by his response. Why was it that he got to explore your inside with his fingers and tongue and wouldn’t allow you to touch him?

“That’s not fair. I thought you wanted me,” you mumbled.

“And yet you want my friend,” he replied sharply. “Haibara will be disappointed to know that I don’t share.”

Huh?

“Haibara?!” you shrieked at the highest decibel, jolting him. “Hai— Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Kento, you id— That’s not what I meant when I was referring to your friend.” How is this man running a multi-million dollar corporation? “I was talking about your penis. Dick. Cock. Whatever you prefer.”

Nanami stood in stunned silence. His anger melted away, replaced by a sudden realization, his eyes darting upward. “Oh.”

You’d had enough. If he prolonged your orgasm any further, you were going to get a female version of blue-balls. “Come here, you doofus.” You pulled down by his collars and kissed him, undoing his belt, button, and zipper for him. “Can I touch your dick, Mr. Nanami?”

He nodded vigorously.

You rolled your eyes, smiling, and slid your hands into his boxers, grabbing him. “Oh, God. I knew it. You’re so big.”

“You knew it? Has it been on your mind?”

“Ever since my interview. No one asked you to manspread. It drove me crazy. Made me stumble on my words.” You stroked him slowly, dissolving him in a sea of grunts and groans. “Be honest, did I get this job because you were attracted to me, or because I’m genuinely good at what I do?”

Nanami pondered for a moment before responding, “Both?”

“Of course you chose the safest answer.”

“Well, you’ve managed my schedule flawlessly for three years. You handle all my emails, make the best coffee, and surprise me with treats. Yes, you’re undeniably beautiful, but it’s your heart that I’ve fallen in love with.”

Your hand froze. “Love?”

He nodded, a blush colouring his cheeks as he looked away. “Love.”

You cupped his face with both hands. “You love me?”

Another nod. “Since your interview.”

He had loved you for three years now. It seemed surreal. You liked him, certainly, but did you love him too? That was the question. Your mind had always assumed he would never see you romantically, so you held back from letting your feelings grow.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Nanami reassured you. “I’ve loved you enough for both of us for far too long. I can wait until you’re ready.” He kissed your forehead gently. “But please, don’t make me wait forever. I don’t want us to stay strictly professional. I want to take you out, make you my girlfriend as soon as possible. Eventually, make . . .” He paused, unsure where to place his hands, before settling on your shoulders. “Make you my wife.”

Oh, you were about to give him the best blow job ever.

“Okay,” you whispered, stepping down from the table and taking his hands. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow, the day after, and every day after that. I want to be your girlfriend by next week— I’ll add it to your personal calendar. And I want dinner and wine at your place afterwards. Speaking of your place, I want to move in with you by the end of next month, or we can live in my shitty apartment— I don’t mind. You have to make me your wife next year instead of making me wait three more years. And I want two kids somewhere down the line. Oh, and a cat.” You grinned widely at his stunned expression. “Can you give me all that, Kento?”

He breathed out heavily, nodding slowly. "Yes," he affirmed. His lips found yours. "Yes. I can. I will. I'll give you whatever you need." He kissed you without restraint, laughter filling his office like a contagious joy.

“Okay, okay.” You gently pushed him back by his shoulders and settled him into his seat. “Prepared to have your mind blown, Mr. Nanami.” Kneeling down, you kissed his thigh, tracing a path up to his hip bone.

His breaths came out laboured, short, as he watched your intentions with a hawk eye.

You took him out of his boxers and prepared your poor throat. It was long and girthy, your fingers barely curving around it. Your tongue ran over his tip, collecting the salty, pre-cum leaking from there.

Nanami hissed, gripping the armrests of his chair as he spread his legs wider. “Will this be painful?”

You looked up from under your lashes. “I'll do my best not to use my teeth by mistake.”

“I meant for you, darling.”

“One way to find out.” Your lips curved over the head of his cock, lowering yourself until his length was tickling the back of your throat. Nanami was in shambles already. You pulled back and licked him from his base to the summit. “You’re so warm, too. So hard.” Your hands sailed up his thighs, kissing his rigid length. “All for me.”

“For you, darling.” He brushed your hair back from your face.

Chuckling, you took him into your mouth again and sent a prayer you didn’t wake up with a sore throat. You could easily picture Nanami purchasing cough drops for you, brewing tea, and insisting you take a day off. The idea of him looking after you sent shivers down your spine.

Nanami gripped the sides of your head, his own tilted back as he breathed heavily through those flawless lips. Occasionally, he'd bravely look down and catch your gaze, then quickly avert his eyes to the ceiling. It was adorable how he struggled to maintain eye contact with you. You had assumed he avoided it because he wasn't interested in talking to you or listening to you yapping. It all makes sense now.

He's simply shy. And you're determined to coax him out of his shell, or even better, cozy up inside it where it's safe.

“The sounds you’re making,” he breathes out. The sounds you’re making, Kento. “It feels like you’re taking me deeper.”

Because you were. You expanded your jaw, even hearing a little joint tick, and pushed him past the limit of your throat. You’d given blow-jobs before, but the guys were either too small, or too aggressive, leaving your scalp numb without any aftercare.

Nanami was different. He left your hair and held your face, thumbs caressing your cheekbones as he struggled against his restraints. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, feel the veins pulse on your tongue, his sacs hot at your touch.

But you wanted Nanami to come inside you.

At the last minute, you drew him out of your mouth, the strings of your saliva and his pre-cum bridging from your lips and his tip. Nanami groaned at the sight, his dick twitch involuntarily, standing long and proud.

“I want you inside of me now,” you whispered, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and sitting on his lap. He pulled your lips in for a kiss as you adjusted his tip at your entrance, sitting down on it in one go. A cry ripped from your aching throat; a loud growl from his. “Fuck, Kento. Your cock’s filling me up.”

“Such a dirty mouth,” he muttered, hand on your nape while the other guided your rolling hips. “Does it hurt?”

You chuckled, head shaking. Your forehead rested over his palms on the side of his neck as you bounced on his lap, your movements growing faster. He was stretching you out, the tip poking your womb, practically splitting you in half.

Nanami, on the other hand, was on cloud nine. You were warm and sticky, your walls cushioned and clamping around him, sucking him deeper by the second. He’d dreamt of this every night, jerking himself off to the thought of you, recalling the sound of your laugh, or your floral scent.

Right now, his name slipped off your tongue and you smelled like him. Sweaty, breathless, moaning. This is exactly how he wanted you. Needed you. You were his assistant. His woman. His lover. If any other man dared to touch you, or flirt with you, he’d fire them. He wished he could kill them instead.

You had awakened his territorial, possessive side, consuming him completely. If his parents refused to accept you as his equal, he would abandon everything and find happiness elsewhere with you. But first, he was determined to fight for you with all his might. Damn it, he loved you.

“I’m tired,” you whispered, wincing as you tried to mill your hips forward again. “Oh, no. I’m cramping up.”

Nanami hated that he didn’t know what to do. He wished he was experienced. He wished he didn’t have to rely on you even if it was a turn-on when you dominated him with your words and actions. “Stop and take a breather.”

You obeyed, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

He grabbed the globes of your ass and stood up, walking over to the couch and laying you down there. “Is this better?”

“Yes.” You stretched up your arms then wrapped it around his neck, giving him a long, loud smack of a kiss. “Proceed.”

Nanami chuckled, caressing your cheek. He thrusted inside of you, pulling himself to the tip, then back inside. It seemed to have you making those needy sounds, so must’ve been on the right track.

“You’re so handsome,” you whispered, locking eyes with his deep brown gaze as he intensified his movements, growing faster and more forceful. “Yes, yes, yes. Oh, god. Ken—” You were cut off by his kiss, by his hand clutching your breast, pinching your nipple.

“I love you,” Nanami murmured, kissing your throat and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You cupped the back of his hand, wailing moans as he pounded into you, flesh slapping against flesh. “I love you, darling. I love you so much.”

“Kento.” You were feeling achingly sore, your legs losing sensation. He was rutting into you like a madman, and no, you did not want him to slow down whatsoever. “Kento!”

He drew his face back. “Yes?”

“I love you, too,” you cried out as you climaxed, your back arching off the couch’s surface.

Nanami crashed seconds later.

You were both a breathless, sticking, sweaty mess. Nothing but the sounds of your rapid hearts and shallow breaths could be heard.

Nanami slid out of you after a minute of silence. He was glowing, golden hair damp with sweat and sticking in different directions from your hand that was running through it. He parted your legs and watched both your mingled release leaking out of you. “I did that.”

You burst out laughing. “Thank you for letting me take your virginity.”

He scowled at you, the kind where a smile creeped on his lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“No, lay with me for a sec.”

Nanami listened attentively and settled beside you on the couch, pulling you into his embrace. You showered kisses over his face, jaw, and the corners of his smiling mouth. “You said ‘I love you,’ by the way.”

“I did.” Another peck landed on his lips.

He swallowed, his eyes sparkling as they met yours. “Are you sure?”

“One-hundred-infinite percent.” You fixed his hair away from his forehead, running your index finger down the slope of his nose and to his lips. “Say it back.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Nanami sighed contentedly, his hand cradling the back of your head as he planted a kiss on your forehead. You giggled and nestled your cheek against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I know you said to wait until next week to make you my girlfriend, but is it alright if I make you mine now?”

“I am already yours.” You drew hearts on his torso, feeling shy all of a sudden. You’d never been in a proper relationship before. But neither had Nanami. Which meant you’d both navigate your relationship together as novices.

“Officially?” He continued. “Or I can wait—”

“Yes,” you said, craning your head up. “I’d love to officially be your girlfriend, Kento Nanami.” You savoured the relieved breath he took. How could you ever reject a soul like his? He was your favourite person. “But I’m still your assistant.”

“And now I’m yours.”

You laugh and rest your nose in the curve of his neck, closing your eyes. He hugged you close, lips lazily kissing the top of your head. “Get as much rest as you can, Boss Man. Round two is in five minutes.”

1K notes · View notes

sanakiras · 9 months

Text

BLOOM FOR ME

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 18.1k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song

NOTE — sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though there’s very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.

he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam he’s got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.

his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.

if he’s being honest, he’d already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.

and now, those feelings have only increased.

his eyes linger on your figure. it’s such a fucking shame he doesn’t remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips — he could actually cry just imagining it.

then he feels he’s getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.

god, he’s never like this. why is it irking him so much?

it’s chan — the youngest of the group — who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.

when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments they’re working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheol’s professors didn’t bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of his—

—and the whole fucking time, you feel mingyu’s gaze burning on you.

it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?

then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him you’re aware of him watching you and you’re watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.

he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them you’ve got to go to your lecture.

cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. “you’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. “yeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.”

“i can tell, ‘cause aren’t you supposed to be starting football practice right now?”

that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.

the following day, as he’s working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.

your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.

it’s usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you — it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesn’t know where to start.

tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.

which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.

by the time he arrives — later than planned due to a study session running behind — everyone is already seated, including you. he’d hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but you’re seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.

well, shit.

the worst thing is that you don’t seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, you’re either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.

what he doesn’t notice is that you do look at him — he’d be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.

he’s so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.

it’s an hour before midnight when you decide to get going — you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing you’re leaving, after which they say they don’t like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them you’ll be fine like always.

“i can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.��

mingyu’s sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.

it’s not that he’s never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.

it’s mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. they’ve had quite a few drinks, after all, and you’re pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk he’s on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.

both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.

it’s early october, your favorite time of year. you’re fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.

mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.

“i’m sorry for being rude the other day,” you speak up, breaking the silence, “i have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.”

oh.

he didn’t expect this from you, but it’s a pleasant surprise, even if you’re not looking him in the eye at all.

so he shrugs. “it’s okay. looking back, i didn’t really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.”

“i assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.”

“i didn’t even think about that, to be honest. i just don’t do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.”

you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when he’s clearly looking at your face. “you called me your friend again.”

the comment doesn’t sit right with him. “do you mind me asking why that bothers you?”

“it bothers me ‘cause it’s not the truth.”

god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.

“do you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?”

mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. “i never said i disliked you, mingyu. i’m just picky about who i consider close to me and i don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesn’t make us friends.”

“not even a little bit?”

you chuckle again. he wonders what he’d have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. “name one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics don’t count.”

he eagerly starts his sentence. “well, you like to... y’know... hang out with us.”

“i said no basics.”

“okay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you don’t exactly share much.”

“you know who i do share things with? my friends.” you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.

“you’re evil.”

“thank you.”

he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact he’s been waiting to get. “i wanna be friends.”

“congratulations.”

“oh, c’mon. work with me here.”

“i would if it wasn’t so much fun to see you acting like this.”

mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. “let’s get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?”

“oh, you mean like a conversation?”

he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “i’ll go first. what’s a hobby of yours?”

“such depth,” you snicker, “i like to ice skate.”

“really? that’s cool.” he smiles, tilting his head. “okay. you gotta ask me a question now.”

“which of your friends is closest to you?”

yeah, he should’ve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldn’t go for small talk.

he ponders over the question before giving his answer. “minghao.”

“hm. interesting.” you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.

“do you think you’ll ever be close with me?”

“no.”

“why?”

“not your turn.” you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. “how many girls have you slept with?”

“four. why do you think we won’t ever be close friends?”

“because we’re too different. you can’t stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“i’m… i don’t know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe that’s selfish, but… yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you don’t.” he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. “i’m sorry for pestering you about it, i’ll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.”

he wants to increase the distance between you, but you don’t let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but it’s gone before he can even look at it.

physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. “i’m gonna say it one more time and that’s it — i don’t dislike you. maybe… i don’t know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i won’t stop you.”

“okay. anything i should know?”

you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. “i’m not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. i’m more of a listener than a talker. i’m also a bit of a control freak so i’m not big on surprises. that’s all you’re getting for now.”

he thinks over your words and smiles. “i can work with that.”

not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.

mingyu clearly feels it’s mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.

once you’ve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. “thanks for taking me home.”

“you’re welcome. see you tomorrow.” he says. normally he’d give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling you’re not very fond of physical contact with people who aren’t close to you, so he lets that go for now.

“bye.” the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.

and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.

it makes you scoff to yourself. you’ll give it to him — he’s sparked your interest.

“hey. mingyu.”

he’s roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project he’s working on. “what?”

“what’s going on? you’re awfully distracted.”

“it’s—nothing.” he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.

“has anyone ever told you you’re a shitty liar?”

“many times, actually.”

“good. ‘cause you are.”

jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. he’s also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows — despite the guy being older than him — because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, it’s a talent.

“so who’s the girl?” jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.

mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. “friend of a friend.”

“what does she do?”

“law.”

“she nice?”

“to a specific group of people, yeah.”

“oh, she’s a little mean to you, huh?”

“not mean. just distant. very distant.”

“that’s new.”

“what is?”

“you going for girls like that. it’s refreshing.”

“yeah, well—she doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“what do you mean?”

“i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me at all. she’s wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.”

“how do you know?”

mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “she’s very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me… i don’t know. we’ve been in the same friend group for a year, and it’s like i’m the only one she doesn’t feel comfortable with. bothers me.”

“you’ve known her for a whole year and it’s only bothering you now?” jeonghan senses there’s more going on. “what led up to this? got into an argument?”

the younger of the two scoffs. “not at all. the contrary, actually.”

jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. “what, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?��

“not entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.” mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. “and we had sex.”

a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghan’s mouth. “you slept together? when?”

“soonyoung’s party.”

“that was weeks ago. haven’t you talked about it? at all?” he asks, clearly invested in the story now.

“i brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesn’t think we’ll ever be good friends ‘cause we’re too different, and it’s fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was… open to friendship though.”

“ah, you like her.”

“yeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.”

“no, i mean, you like her. you don’t just want to be her friend.”

mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. “i don’t have a crush.”

“don’t fool yourself. you’d never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you — you’re worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all.”

“i can’t be in love with someone i hardly know.”

“debatable. you still have a crush on her.”

“fine. whatever. say that were the case — purely hypothetical of course — what should i do to get her attention?”

jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like he’s up to no good. “you gotta get a little selfish.”

“could you be a little less vague for once in your life?”

“create a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.” he shrugs, as if that answers it. “something like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.”

“well, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i don’t think i have all that many options.”

right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. she’s giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.

“speaking of crushes, she’s got one on you.” jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.

it doesn’t interest mingyu all that much. “yeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didn’t have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i should’ve, ‘cause she acts like that every time i see her around.”

jeonghan can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. “are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

“probably not, since i have no idea what you’re getting at.”

he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. “you could reject her — subtly.”

mingyu frowns at that. “how?”

and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before he’s about to tell him his plan. “you’ve heard of fake dating before, right?”

the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didn’t feel like attending this morning.

someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.

you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didn’t ask for. “what do you want?”

“you have got to stop saying that when you see me.”

“no, i like it this way.”

“of course you do.” mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. “you look busy.”

“gee. it’s almost as if i am busy.”

“what’re you working on?”

“undoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.”

he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.

“are you always this much on edge?”

“mhm. i hope you are too — otherwise you’re taking up too much space.”

the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. “you’re cute.”

“not exactly the word i would use.”

“really?” he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, “i think it suits you.”

you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. “what do you want? seriously.”

he shifts in his seat, clearly happy you’re finally going along with him here. “you know the senior gala on thursday, right?”

“yeah. i’m not attending.”

“okay. here’s the thing — i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who won’t stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.”

“gosh, poor you.”

“i’m serious. it sucks.”

“what does this have to do with you bothering me?”

“well, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, she’d back off.” he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. “meaning i need a plus-one who’s willing to play my girlfriend for the night.”

“so?”

“so, i’d like you to be my plus-one.” he grins.

“why?”

“why not?”

“you’re saying you wanna pretend to be dating?” you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. “no one’s gonna believe that.”

“yeah, they will. it’s perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesn’t know you — c’mon, consider it.”

he’s surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. “out of all the girls you’ve got in your contacts, you’re asking me?”

“you’ve made it clear we’re only acquaintances — i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.”

you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. “i don’t know what you’re expecting, but you’d get nothing out of a friendship with me.”

he keeps his eyes on yours. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell you’re considering it. “when does it start?”

“ten.”

“dress code?”

“go for a cocktail dress.”

twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said you’d give him a chance, after all. “fine.”

“great!” he nearly jumps in excitement. “text me when you’re ready and i’ll come and pick you up.”

“yeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.”

and once you’ve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.

mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. it’s not like him to feel nervous — so why the hell is he this time?

you open the door hastily. “hey. you can come on in, i’m all ready except for the pair of earrings i can’t seem to find.”

he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad you’ve got your back faced to him, because he’s subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.

the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and he’s stunned in his place before you notice he still hasn’t closed the door behind him. “mingyu. the door.”

“uh—yeah. sorry.” he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as he’s told before his eyes wander around your room. “don’t you have a roommate?”

“i used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.”

“must get quiet after a while.”

“i like it that way.”

your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures you’re someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.

once you’ve found your earrings, you’re putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit he’s wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.

you’re glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.

as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses he’s been holding behind his back. “these are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

the gesture makes your eyes soften. “thank you. oh, they smell nice.”

mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time he’s seen you give one that is genuine.

the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. “i’m your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?”

which has you chortling for a second. “that’s not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.”

before he can change the position of his hand, you’re already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.

“that’s better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, it’s not the right time and place for it anyways.”

“noted.”

once you’ve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing you’d consumed some alcohol before coming.

and your companion takes notice of this from the way you’re suddenly squeezing his hand, which you’re undoubtedly not doing on purpose.

“you okay?”

“sure, i’m fine.” you faintly smile back at him.

he’s honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead — that is until one of your friends comes up to you.

“am i imagining things—”

“we’re fake dating, josh.” you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. “his idea, not mine.”

joshua appears all kinds of confused. “okay. um… just—why?”

mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.

but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldn’t miss out on.

what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.

“there’s this classmate of mine who won’t get off my back about dating, so i figured she’d quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.”

in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. “right.”

“i’m gonna go get us a drink. be right back.” mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.

you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. “can’t believe i never considered you two before.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you and him. you’d be a nice match.”

“what, me and mingyu? we’d be a disaster.”

“why?”

“we’re too different, josh. and don’t even try to give me that opposites attract crap.”

his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you don’t. “i think you’d be surprised. that’s all.”

whatever the fuck that means.

your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshua’s words, you just can’t help but think about what he said, especially when mingyu’s arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.

the worst thing is that you don’t even mind him touching you. you’ve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.

and that’s not the only thing you’re becoming increasingly aware of.

mingyu’s popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.

being as observant as you are, you’ve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.

so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.

you’re not actually jealous. no, that’d be ridiculous. you can’t be jealous of others wanting something you don’t even have in the first place.

chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.

though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.

after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. “hey, i’m just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?”

mingyu’s lashes flutter as he nods. “would you mind if i came with?”

you gesture that you’re okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.

the air feels much colder now that you’ve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.

mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. he’s practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and you’re going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.

as you’re standing outside together, you notice he’s loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. he’s certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.

his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. “it’s nice to have you here. i wasn’t all that excited about going at first.”

“yeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.”

he snickers. “you hear that often?”

“every now and then. don’t sound so surprised.”

“it doesn’t surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.”

“doesn’t everyone?”

“you’re a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?”

“maybe.” you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.

mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. “do you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoung’s party?”

he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. “no. neither do you, as you’ve told me.”

“no, i don’t,” he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldn’t, “but i kinda wish i did.”

“why?”

when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.

“i...” he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.

before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. he’s clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.

whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.

“i’m gonna go take him home, couldn’t find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.” he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.

so mingyu nods. “okay. i’ll go check.”

they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. “you go ahead. i’ll meet you back inside in a few.”

he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.

it’s then that some girl you’ve never seen before walks up to you. “hey. you’re mingyu’s new girlfriend, right?”

the crease between your brows becomes apparent. “have we met?”

“no, no. i’m in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

she’s clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. you’re not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.

but either she’s too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesn’t want to. “was kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.”

and since she’s probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, ‘s just... you seem a little distant. just different. he’s never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.”

you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business that’s not their own. “gee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?”

the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.

worst thing is that she’s probably right.

you and mingyu just don’t work.

and you don’t even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?

the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you don’t feel like staying.

when you return to him, he’s so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. “i’m gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.”

even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. “why? is everything okay?”

“i’m fine.”

“i’ll take you back.”

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t.” you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. “i’m sorry.”

mingyu is still processing your words as you’re leaving him behind.

then when you’re walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.

goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.

she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her it’s fine, annoyance rising.

mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.

the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.

god, you’re never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.

you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. you’re rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.

of course it’s him.

“any luck getting it out?” he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.

“why am i here?”

“what do you mean?”

you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that he’s acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. “why did you invite me here? out of everyone you could’ve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?”

“are you angry at me?”

“answer the question.”

“i just…” he trails off, trying to think of the right words. “i just figured it was a way to become friends.”

you’re actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word ‘friend’ to you one more time. “oh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?”

“i don’t know, because… because it occurred to me — y’know, after the party, after what we did — that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.”

“oh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.”

“no, i didn’t. i just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and i—”

what the hell is he even supposed to say? he’s not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends — but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.

you’re quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. “so that’s what this is about.”

“well—what?”

“if you wanted to fuck, you should’ve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.”

“i—” he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. “that’s not why i—”

“does it matter?” you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that you’ve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.

it doesn’t help that you’re watching him like a hawk.

“not to repeat myself all the time, but i—i normally don’t do this with friends. i don’t want you to have the wrong idea of me.” he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.

so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. “well, i guess you’re in luck. ‘cause we’re not friends.”

he’s about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. it’s fast and intense and hungry.

whatever he expected, it wasn’t this — but he can’t find it in him to not give in.

his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.

mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.

there’s a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.

you’re rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.

holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him — he’s fucking huge.

“gyu,” you break the kiss, “can i suck you off?”

the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. “wanna taste you instead. please?”

with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. please let me.”

“okay. just make it quick.”

in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.

because he’s diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing you’ve ever heard.

your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyu’s annoyance, because he wants to hear you.

his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight that’s so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.

another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.

“you can pull on my hair. i like that.” he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.

it doesn’t take him long before he’s got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but you’re nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.

“gyu—fuck, ‘s too much, too much—” you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.

you swear you might lose it when you see he’s actually pouting over the fact that you’re pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.

“but, baby, i wanna make you cum.”

the pet name turns you on even more. “you can. i just want you inside of me, right now.”

he’s rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.

mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.

“god—want me to fuck you?”

pulling your dress over your head, you’re left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. “are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“fine. bend over the sink, then.”

the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body — because you completely forgot about the mirror that’s now right in front of you.

so you’re able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.

his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles — but none of that matters now that he’s got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.

all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. “you’re so tight, jesus—”

you huff. “not my fault you’re so big.”

it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. “you’re all bite, even when i’m trying to fuck you.”

“don’t act like you don’t like it.”

he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. “never said i didn’t.”

god, he’s so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.

his girth feels so good inside you — and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.

and he’s certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels you’re pushing your hips back against his. he’s convinced this is what heaven feels like.

“gyu, a little harder, please.” you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.

“how hard d’you want it?”

“as hard as you want. i can take it.”

he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.

his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way he’s digging into your skin. he’s sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.

you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.

it’s like he’s trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. “oh my god—gyu—”

“i love it when you call me that,” he breathes out, so into it that he’s confessing everything on his mind, “you don’t know how much i’ve thought about this — been fantasizing about this for ages.”

you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. “then you better make it worth my while.”

“such a brat.” he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.

mingyu’s stamina is admirable — but he’s a simple man. you’re so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows he’s getting close to his release already.

you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.

he’s doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.

“are you gonna cum, gyu?”

you have to refrain from biting your lip when he’s stuttering out a response. “n—no, not yet—”

“i want you to.”

“jesus, don’t say that—”

oh, he’s cute. he’s responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.

“wanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. i’ll let you do anything you want.” you tease — your words being the complete truth, because if he’d want to fuck you again, you’d sure as shit let him.

his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. “anything?”

“mhm,” you nod, “anything.”

his fantasies about you, the way you’re looking at him, the things you’re saying, the way you suddenly clench around him — it’s all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.

it’s enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax you’ve been aching for.

he’s still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. “so much for being friends, huh?”

he then smiles as well. “are we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?”

“you’re quite literally inside me.”

“knowing you, that doesn’t really have to change anything.”

“oh, is that so?” you retort at his cheekiness. “sure. you’ve made it to friend level 1. congrats.”

“great. level 2 is next, then.”

“god, forget i said anything.”

“no going back now. you’re stuck with me.”

something’s very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.

because you’ve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.

and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.

the sex is great. there’s something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.

and yet he’s come to the conclusion that this isn’t what he wants.

he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.

it bothers him. but he’s scared to just put all his feelings on a platter — because he doesn’t want to lose whatever he has with you.

something he’s also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.

so when he’s typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he can’t bring himself to ignore it.

20:23: you look cute when you’re focused

the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since you’ve clearly got your eyes on him.

so he texts back.

20:24: i always look cute ;)

tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate you’re typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. “bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“fuckin’—” it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. “christ, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. “bad conscience?”

“no. you’re just scary.”

“thank you.” you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. “you busy?”

“just going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.”

“wanna come over to my dorm?”

“fourth time this week. what’s gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.”

“hilarious. really.” you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. “what can i say? it’s a great stress reliever.”

“i know. give me a sec and i’ll pack my things.”

as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables — which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.

“mingyu.”

“hm?”

“the chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?”

he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. “yeah, i have a class with her. can’t really remember her name though. why?”

“she likes you.”

“oh.” he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. “i didn’t notice.”

“sure.” you chuckle sarcastically.

that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.

“what?”

“you’re jealous.”

“excuse me?” you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.

“it’s actually kinda hot.”

“oh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.”

“and yet you are.”

“either you shut your ass up or i’ll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.”

he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.

as soon as you’ve entered your dorm room, he’s got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame — you’re certainly not complaining.

once he’s done with you and you’re completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.

you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. “is everything okay? you look stressed.”

“i’m fine.”

he figures you either don’t want to open up or you simply don’t feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know he’s there for you. “okay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.”

you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.

mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.

so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. “i should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i don’t have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.”

he’s buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. “i’ve got two exams next week. they’re extremely important, i have to pass them, i just… i can’t focus for some reason.”

when he turns around, you’re not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. “anything in particular that’s bothering you?”

“i don’t know. it’s just…” you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, “i guess i haven’t been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i don’t actually have a reason for it.”

“maybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.”

“gyu—” you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.

“why don’t we just try it? if you don’t feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.”

“do you even have the time to help me?”

he’s smiling, able to tell you’re thinking about it. “are you kidding? i can do anything.”

“always so humble.”

“yeah, that’s why you like me so much.” he laughs. “that’s why i’m your friend.”

“whatever makes you sleep at night.”

mingyu wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.

he’s putting in effort to make you like him, that’s for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams — he’s certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.

and you hate how easily you get used to it.

for whatever reason, you haven’t had sex since that day either. you’re pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.

which is sweet. but you also have needs, and they’re worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as he’s proved many times at this point.

so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.

as he’s seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.

“your girlfriend texting you again?”

mingyu looks up at joshua, who’s sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. “not my girlfriend.”

“she might as well be.”

“she doesn’t like me enough to be.”

shua wouldn’t call himself nosy, but he’s determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. “what’s up with you and her?”

“it’s complicated.” his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. “i’m not even sure, honestly.”

joshua has this ability to pry people’s hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat — how easily he does it should be studied.

“are you friends with benefits or something? situationship?”

ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. “she doesn’t like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, i’m busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.”

“have you told her you like her?”

“sort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.”

joshua finds mingyu’s inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. “maybe she’ll warm up to you. give it a while, she’s a tough nut to crack.”

“is she open with you?”

“sort of. i don’t think there’s a single soul out there she’s completely open with.” he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. “she has mentioned in the past that she’s actually very sensitive but just doesn’t, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.”

mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.

give it time.

which he does. he notices you’re gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much — but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and you’re showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.

you’re starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.

just like right now. you’re smiling at him over something he can’t remember — it’s a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as they’re rare — and you just look so pretty.

a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.

“hey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.” he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. “oh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.”

his wording makes you chuckle. “fine. i’ll be there.”

“you won’t regret it. our team is great.”

“really? then you better prove it. can’t be cheering for the losing team.”

with a raised brow, he points at you. “wanna bet?”

“what do you have in mind?”

he considers his options for a moment. “if my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as you’re into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.”

now that’s an offer you’re certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. “alright. deal.”

he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. “oh, and, just so you know — my team’s won regional championships for the past two years in a row. i’m just saying.”

you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.

damn that asshole for making you like him this much.

saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.

mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him you’d be there, sitting with the crowd.

it seems like it’s going to be a cold-weather match today. it’s already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. you’re glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you won’t be soaked by the time the game is over.

your eyes are fixed on mingyu’s back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing what’s most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.

then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, he’s incredibly handsome.

before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.

he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.

mingyu’s a real sweetheart, you have to admit. he’s growing on you.

watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, it’s great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.

you’re certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.

shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.

it’s his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight — until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.

you’re now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyu’s team to score another goal.

the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.

it’s all yells of happiness on the field.

the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.

you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.

following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.

mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug you’ve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in — in the best way possible.

when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you don’t shy away from it.

he’s so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes — your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.

but there’s too much at stake to get impulsive. “thanks for coming.”

“you’re welcome.” you blankly respond, making him smile a little.

“how did i do? good enough for your standards?”

you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. “i was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.”

he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. “you’re hilarious.”

“something i’m very aware of.”

he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.

“wanna go catch a drink with me?”

“don’t you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?”

“not tonight.” he shakes his head. “i just gotta go get my bag. come with me?”

he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. “okay, yeah.”

you head to the men’s locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.

“the lights haven’t been working since yesterday, so watch your step.” mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where you’re going.

you suddenly get an idea. “do you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?”

“they usually do. ten minutes, give or take.” he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.

once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“i give credit where it’s due, you know.”

oh. oh. he only then understands what you’re getting at.

you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow — he lives for it. “in public? here? we could go back to your—oh, shit—”

you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. “but you’re already hard, gyu.”

christ. you’ve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if you’re not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.

he doesn’t protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.

you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. he’s so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.

“h—holy shit, that feels good.” he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.

his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you can’t take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.

you look up at him when he’s shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.

arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.

“fuck, fuck, baby—”

you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. “wanna taste everything. can’t make a mess here.”

it’s such a shame he’s still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever you’re sucking him off — like he can’t catch his breath. it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

his legs are trembling, and he’s embarrasingly close to his release already. “you don’t—ah—have to do this here if you don’t want to—”

“‘m not leaving ‘til you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?”

he nods, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he can’t help it. “yeah, yeah, i’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“good boy.” you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.

the moment you hollow your cheeks, it’s over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.

both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows it’s time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.

you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if he’s being truthful.

“you’re insane.” he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. “you’re blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“you’re getting special treatment, you know. i don’t suck off my other friends.” you tease, shrugging your shoulders.

maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. “does this mean i made it to friend level 2?”

“you did. now you’ve been downgraded back to level 1, though. what’re you gonna do about it?”

he plays along with you. “well, shit. can’t have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?”

“sounds good.” the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.

he’s getting closer to you than you anticipated, and that’s not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself it’ll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?

another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesn’t drop by your dorm. he doesn’t text, doesn’t call — and you find yourself worried about him.

it’s been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isn’t a good sign.

you’ve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know he’s been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once you’ve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.

it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.

when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didn’t wake him. he’s wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.

the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. “you look like shit.”

he snorts at your words. “would you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?”

“absolutely.”

he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. “wanna come in? i promise i’ll stay at a distance so you won’t get it.”

you didn’t think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. “i was wondering why you didn’t call. then chan told me you were sick.”

he shuts the door behind you. “yeah, i’ve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. i’m sorry for not letting you know — didn’t think you were worried.”

you pause for a moment. “well. you thought wrong. friends worry, don’t they?”

the words make him smile. he didn’t think you cared all that much about him for some reason — this changes that. “fair. what’s in the bowl?”

he’s referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. “soup. i don’t know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so… yeah. i figured you could use it.”

his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. “thank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.”

as he’s walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like he’s about to lose his balance. “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘s just—i’m a little dizzy.”

your hands find his shoulders — a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him — to put him down on his bed. “don’t force it. if you’re about to faint, you might as well be lying down.”

his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.

as soon as you’re about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems he’s already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure he’s comfortable.

you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesn’t deserve.

maybe mingyu likes to think he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but that’s far from the truth. even you have noticed he’s been looking at you a certain way recently, and that’s saying something.

one look at him and you’re already feeling like a big softie. it’s ridiculous.

you’re scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, it’ll be fine.

now that he’s asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.

you usually take him to your dorm, so you’re not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories he’s made.

they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you he’d frame one up as a way of ‘solidifying your friendship’ as he so politely put it.

still, you didn’t think he’d actually do it.

smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he must’ve been working on something when you knocked on his door.

out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay he’s been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.

you take a look at the assignment and decide you’re gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.

when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. you’re gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and there’s a sticky note attached to it.

slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.

you must’ve written something on the note, he figures.

‘hopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if it’s not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. x’

he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on — and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, it’s good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone who’s not actually taking the class.

and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.

you’re at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.

looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. “mingyu, what the hell are you doing here?”

“i got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i always hate. you’re a genius.” he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.

you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. “so i’ve heard. good to see you’re doing better.”

“is there anything i can do in return?”

“don’t worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.”

the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds he’s gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. “you know how you said i’d get nothing out of a friendship with you?” he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, “you were wrong.”

a mere chuckle escapes you. “right. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.”

your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. “you’re wonderful, you know that?”

it’s not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. “am i?”

“yeah, you are,” he nods, pushing out more compliments, “and i’m glad to have you in my life.”

the playful expression on your face falters — like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and that’s beginning to scare you a little.

he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.

and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.

whenever he texts you, you either tell him you don’t have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if he’s going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.

but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.

after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides he’s had enough.

when you’re almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

“i gotta leave for my lecture, i don’t have time for this.”

“so make the time.” he says sternly, jaw clenched. “answer the question.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you.”

“sure. so it’s a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?”

you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. “no, it isn’t.”

he raises his hands in defeat. “so, why?”

“it’s been fun. i don’t know. but you’ve proved what you wanted to prove, so… good for you. we can both move on now.” you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.

“you’re lying.” he breathes out, scoffing to himself. he’s baffled that you think he’d consider it believable at all. “four months ago, i would’ve bought that. but not now.”

“believe what you wanna believe. i don’t really care.” you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.

“don’t bullshit me. you care. i don’t know why the fuck you’re so hellbent on not admitting that, but it’s the truth.”

he’s beginning to get on your nerves. “what fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything that’s going on inside my head already.”

it’s then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. “what makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chan—all of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?”

“because you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, you’ve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions don’t line up with that.”

“so what? i like you and i’m pretty damn sure you like me too.” his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. “what are you so afraid of?”

either you’re imagining things or he’s leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.

your fingers touch the back of his neck. it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.

kissing mingyu is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven, but right now, all it’s making you feel is guilt and shame.

so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. “close the door on your way out.” you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.

he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.

“fuck.”

it’s been a week, and he hasn’t called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that he’s decided to move on.

which is understandable. if you were him, you’d be done with it too.

it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void you’re unable to fill. and it hurts — you miss him.

you’re having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when he’s suddenly standing in front of you by the table. “i just got a call from the gallery manager — we’ve got it to ourselves this friday evening!”

minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. “me and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery so we could finally be able to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.”

hao is a passionate painter — mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and they’ve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, you’re happy for them.

“that’s great! we can come, right?” seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.

“yeah, you guys better.” minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. “you have to come too. you’re free, right?”

he’s aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now — though he doesn’t know why — but he still thinks it’d be good for you and him to see each other.

your eyes meet mingyu’s for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.

mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. “sure. i'll be there.”

he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if there’s a watch there.

there isn’t. “won’t you look at the time. i’ll see you guys later.”

they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if it’s the first time witnessing it — as if he hasn’t known you to be like this for several months.

he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. “what?”

“you’re deep in it.” minghao remarks. “when are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?”

“it’s not that easy.”

seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. “wait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

the other two just deadpan a stare at him.

on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know he’s been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldn’t afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.

you’re wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.

the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.

as you’re passing some of mingyu’s framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.

“i was surprised when you agreed to come.”

when you turn your head, he’s standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.

personally, you find it’s relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but he’s definitely got it. he looks good. really good.

biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. “came to see if you were any good.”

“and? what’s your judgement?”

“haven’t made up my mind yet.” your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. “does my judgement really matter that much, though?”

he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. “more than you know.”

him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. he’s so genuine in it too — and you just don’t know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.

people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. you’re crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.

and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when you’re lying to him, he knows when you’re upset or hurt — and the idea that there’s someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.

in moments like these, your expression doesn’t gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically — it’s like you received a slap to the face.

“your photography is beautiful, mingyu. you’re talented, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.” your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladies’ room, hoping he won’t follow you.

you exhale when he doesn’t.

knowing it’s way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.

minghao’s paintings are beautiful. you’re in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.

as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. “so, what do you think? do i have potential?”

“are you kidding? you’ve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.”

he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. “what’d you do to mingyu?”

you cross your arms over your chest. “why’re you assuming i did something?”

“because he’s been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks. and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...”

taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. “honestly, i’m not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.”

minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. “he came out of nowhere and you started liking him.”

the comment makes your eyes widen, but you don’t bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. “yeah. so i pushed him away.”

he’s aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. “what did he do?”

you could cry, honestly. your face is blank — your voice trembles. “he said he was happy to have me in his life. god, i’m so fucking insecure.”

hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. “you’re not obligated to do something you don’t wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyu’s a good guy. he’ll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.”

with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting that’s currently in front of you, only to realize it’s about two lovers.

there’s a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like you’re somewhere in the middle right now.

“christ, i need a fucking drink.” you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

“mind if i join you?”

of course. why are you even surprised?

without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. “sure you want my company?”

“beats going drinking alone.” mingyu shrugs next to you.

you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. “whatever you say.”

luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. you’re not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.

he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because it’s still relatively early in the evening.

since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.

the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until they’re completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.

his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him — like you don’t give a fuck about him.

you look down at your glass. you still haven’t exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didn’t want to be here with him in the first place.

liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.

the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, it’s you who ends up speaking first.

“if you’re trying to make the situation more awkward, you’re succeeding.”

“i’m just trying to find the words. don’t know where to start.”

your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. “then don’t.”

of course you’re aware you’re being mean. but it’s to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?

mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if he’s deciphering a puzzle. “i will. because i care.”

that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better — you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.

“can i ask you something?”

you don’t actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.

“you not showing much… is it a front you put up or something you just do?”

an interesting question — one you actually have to think about. “the latter. having a resting bitch face doesn’t really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. can’t have everyone showing everything.”

“why not?”

blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. it’s not a genuine one. “do you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?”

“because your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?”

“because you can’t tell what i’m thinking.”

he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like he’s on the right track here.

“maybe i kinda like that disadvantage.” he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.

“no, you don’t.”

“how would you know?”

you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. “my mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldn’t tell what i was thinking.” you pout your lips as if you’re thinking about it. “i told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.”

“why?”

“putting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.”

“so you think it’s better to isolate your feelings completely — discuss them with no one? ever?”

“unless it’s necessary, yes. besides, feelings aren’t black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?”

mingyu looks—no, gazes at you. “how will you know if you don’t try?”

“how do you know i haven’t? you think you’re the first person who’s tried to get close to me like this?” you ask, tilting your head. “speaking of which, i’ve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. i’m not buying the whole ‘i-just-wanna-be-friends’ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.”

“it wasn’t for the sex.” he shrugs his shoulders. “i like you.”

“so you’ve mentioned. since when?”

“since… always.”

“we never even talked before soonyoung’s party.”

“no, but i liked you.”

“bullshit.” you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. “i’m hardly likeable — nothing i’m insecure about. just a plain fact.”

“and yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.” he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. “do you like me?”

“i can’t stand you,” you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable you’ve become with him after doing so, “but at least you’ve got a pretty face to make up for it.”

it’s unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.

every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.

but, fuck, he just can’t get enough.

another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so he’ll take his.

the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.

“i think i’ve got you all figured out.”

his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. “oh yeah? go on. try me, i’m curious.”

the words tumble from his lips as if they’re part of a monologue he’s been rehearsing for weeks. “you feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you don’t mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply don’t like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it’d be a big mistake to think you don’t have one — and honestly, i’d do anything to be close to it.”

it’s not often you’re speechless.

he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone — the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.

“good job,” you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, “i guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means we’re done here, right?”

he finally spots the shift in your behavior. “wait—”

“have a good night, gyu.”

you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.

as you’re trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. “what did i do? was it something i said?”

letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. “it was everything you said.”

“why?” he asks, the tension running thicker. “why won’t you just let me in, for once? just this time?”

you hate how desperate he sounds — you hate how much it’s tugging at your heartstrings.

“why do you even want me to?”

“‘cause i like you.”

“no, you don’t. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?”

“i’ve given you no reason to like me.”

“what, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?”

his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself — and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.

mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.

“it’s not true,” he says before you attempt to answer, “because you… being around you makes me happy. when i’m not with you, i think of when i’ll see you next. you matter to me.”

you’re not sure what’s worse — the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.

“you’d do best to try and get rid of that feeling.”

but he knows there’s more lingering behind your words. “tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“what i feel means nothing.” you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. “let it go.”

“why don’t you wanna try?”

“because it’d be a disaster. for both of us.”

“c’mon,” he pleads, gently touching your fingers, “please don’t push me away.”

“god—i have my reasons, mingyu.”

“then explain them to me!”

“i can’t give you what you want!” you cry out, needing him to understand you. “someone like you just doesn’t work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but it’s the truth. i wouldn’t tell you i love you, i’m fucking—bitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel — and you are the complete opposite. i’d make you miserable. you’d grow to hate me.”

“no, i wouldn’t.”

“you would. you... i do like you. i don’t know what the hell you did, like—it’s bizarre how much i’ve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, we’d never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable — those are all traits that i don’t have. i wish i did, but that’s just how i’m engineered. we wouldn’t work.”

“how do you even know that?”

“i’ve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me ‘cause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didn’t show a thing. because i don’t do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they get close to me, so i’m telling you now. this? you and me?” you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. “we’d be idiots to try.”

“fine. then consider me an idiot.” he breathes out, just barely registering how close he’s standing to you. “i’m willing to try. please.”

the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. “i’m sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings aren’t valid solely because i don’t like expressing them.”

“i’m not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.”

“gyu—” you plead, almost like you’re begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he won’t.

and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. it’s so scary, so tempting.

“i don’t wanna lose you.”

he adores you so much — it’s ridiculous. “you won’t lose me. please…” he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, “please let me in.”

his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye — he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but he’s determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.

it’s raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if he’s leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.

mingyu’s smile shines even in the heavy downpour — a bright light that balances out your dull one.

he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.

you and kim mingyu shouldn’t work — perhaps that’s exactly the reason why you do.

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

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kimakento · 3 months

Text

&team as your situationship

pairings: ot9 x fem!reader ⌙ 0.9k

genre(s): fluff, general

tags: situationship!andteam, teeth-rotting fluff, also angst if you squint hard enough, slightly suggestive (?) on ej’s part

a/n: i actually really enjoyed writing this req even though i had to search what a situationship was because i wasn’t totally sure myself 😭 but still i hope you all enjoy this! <33 [this is not proofread so please excuse all the mistakes]

jo can’t flirt for his life, so when you do it to him he’s way too flustered. (and you do it hourly)

he’s such a loser for you i swear (affectionately) like whenever you utter a single word it has him smiling like an idiot.

even though you guys are unlabelled, jo wanted you to meet his parents. and when you finally did, the word ‘girlfriend’ nearly slipped out his mouth. though his dad did think you were dating.

this man is such a gentleman, his love language is definitely words of affirmation. the way he comes up with compliments makes you swoon.

fuma

we all see how he’s always the sensible one among the teamies and takes care of them, he’s the exact same with you. from paying attention to you, concerned when you’re visibly overwhelmed.

always asking if you’re comfortable, doing anything he can do to help you. but your favourite part about him is definitely his arms (don’t tell him that though). when he wraps you in his embrace, you melt into him.

apart from all that, you’re definitely not satisfied with dancing around a label.

vv reassuring and has his eyes always on you. you guys cannot tell me he doesn’t shower you with compliments 24/7.

since he’s really tall it makes you feel safe when out with him. acts of service is his love language. holding an umbrella for you while it’s raining, carrying your bag, helping you change out of uncomfortable clothes and the lot.

although not official, k was definitely the one who fell first but wasn’t sure if you would return his feelings as he was the one who’d gotten you both tied up in this situationship.

nicholas

probably the most possessive and protective out of everyone. even when you post any picture online of yourself he’s frantically texting you.

“take it down. you look too pretty i don’t want anyone to see it except me.” and when you refuse he’ll literally plead with you. (he’s so down bad)

nicholas eventually starts sneaking you into his dorms and spends time with you inside his room. (that had been happening for months until yuma had accidentally barged in and saw you fast asleep on nicholas’ chest and he was not happy about that.)

nicho has always been slightly emotionally unavailable which puts you off from confessing.

it all started when he had come over to yours late at night and he looked too pretty that you just had to kiss him. you still do.

euijoo loves it when you give him pecks all over his face until he gets impatient and steals a kiss for himself. very touchy with you, always has his hands on your waist when you kiss like someone’s gonna snatch you away.

this man acts like your husband of five years that sometimes even you forget he’s not actually your boyfriend.

juju has never been happy at your guys’ lack of a label but decided to wait for you.

yuma

calls you ‘baby’ too much for your own health. and every time you hear that from his mouth, you struggle to contain the urge to smile.

“baby, can you get that for me?” “you’re so pretty, baby.”

though you do frown when you realise that yuma isn’t your boyfriend. but all that washes away when he caresses your cheek before kissing you passionately.

he’s really lovesick, smiling whenever you look his way, holding you hand all the time and even just doing simple things by your side.

taki

he loves it when you’re in his lap, absentmindedly playing with his hands that are around your waist while you watch a movie together.

taki loves the way you call his name, it sounds so right coming your lips. that’s a major reason why he doesn’t use pet names. his name just sounds more intimate.

constantly invites you to ‘not-dates’ and believes that all the cute outfits you wear are for him. (they are but you won’t tell him that)

has thousands of photos of you on his phone to the point where he has a separate folder dedicated for them.

harua

harua’s probably the most calm about it than all the teamies. like nicholas, you’ve seen him as emotionally unavailable because of that. but he’s actually an over thinker, he’s always wanted to be your boyfriend but nothing else.

talks about you to his friends all the time, to the point they all believe you’re dating.

his favourite thing is when you call him cute but he always plays it off by denying.

once you verbalised how much you adore cats (probably because he resembles one) so one time he surprised you by inviting you to a (not) date to a cat cafe.

maki

you guys have a cat and dog dynamic, and it’s so adorable. maki clings to you, always verbalising his every thought about you.

he’s adamant on making you flustered so he always experiments new pickup lines on you even though they rarely work.

this man is so obsessed with you to the point he’s never seen without you. he also makes sure everyone knows you’re (partially) his by always having his hands on you.

wants himself to be known as your boyfriend so bad. it doesn’t take him long before he confesses.

likes and reblogs are appreciated :D

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girlkisser13 · 2 months

Text

dating percy jackson would include

• perseus jackson is the ULTIMATE boyfriend.

• you guys were friends first. all of the best relationships are built on the foundation of friendship. (friends to lovers supremacy)

• nothing really changes between the two of you. you’re still each other’s best friend. the only difference is that now you can kiss each other whenever you want to.

• the two of you are attached at the hip. like suddenly everything is a two person job?

• percy is obviously very protective of you. he knows that you can handle yourself but with everything he’s been through, he’d never be able to live with himself if you got hurt or worse.

• he 100% calls you pookie. in fact, the two of you have a plethora of ridiculous pet names that you call each other.

• babe, sweetie, sugarplum, snookums, honeybun, etc.

• percy remembers all of the little things!! it could be the tiniest detail ever, like exactly how much creamer you like to put in your coffee. he has a notes page in his phone dedicated to your food orders and all of your favorite things.

• since percy is the only person in his cabin, cabin sleep overs are a regular. you guys try to have them every couple of weeks and it's genuinely a mystery as to how you guys haven't been caught yet.

• the two of you are CONSTANTLY yapping with one each other about anything and everything. like one minute you two could be rambling about the camp drama, and then somehow you'd get into the meaning of life.

• it's kind of jarring to those around you because one second you and percy are laughing your asses off at the stupidest things then all of a sudden you guys are straight-faced, engaged in some super deep topic.

• BEACH DATES WITH PERCY>>>

• he loves going to the beach with you. he helps you with the hard to reach areas when you apply your sunscreen, lays down with you for a solid minute, and then run off to the waves.

• the majority of your dates with percy are pretty laidback. not to say that he isn't capable of planning something more romantic, because he can, it's just he prefers dates that feel more like hangouts.

• this man is always taking candid photos of you. all of the photos are all taken from really unflattering angles but he always thinks you look beautiful.

• he has an entire photo album dedicated to these photos of you. so be prepared for your birthday and your anniversary.

• this man is not afraid of a little pda. he loves holding your hand and playing with your fingers. the two of you are that couple who’s constantly making out with each other. he likes always knowing that you’re there and by his side.

• you and percy can communicate solely through eye contact.

• sometimes it does get annoying though. because now you're in the middle of a serious camp meeting, tearing up while attempting to hold in the loud cackle you're both about to let out. all because you looked at each other at the wrong moment.

• the two of you know each other so well that you know both know what move each other will make before you even make them.

• plus you’ve fought with each other for long that it’s basically second nature at this point. this man is your twin fr.

• you and sally are SUPER close. like sometimes percy gets annoyed because he feels like sally loves you more than him.

• the two of you have weekly gossip sessions at his house where percy pretends not to eavesdrop from outside of the door.

• overall, percy is an amazing boyfriend. 10/10 would date again. <33

#percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #pjo #hoo #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #hoo fandom #pjo series #hoo series #pjo tv show #pjo disney+#pjo x reader #hoo x reader #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson smut

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miley1442111 · 4 months

Note

hi! can you do something with aaron and like a younger next-door neighbour and they're kinda secretly and newly dating and something with Jack goes wrong and reader helps fix it so aaron is just so in love and asks if he can tell jack and it's just super fluffy and cute!

Anyway, thank you so much, i love your writing!!!!

i love this idea so much!

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telling him- a.hotchner

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a/n: i got nothin.

summary: jack can't go to school, so you swoop in and become aaron's hero, he asks two pretty important questions.

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

warnings: none

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Aaron didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d left the BAU. Jack was 11. He had a pre-teen who he’d just moved across the country and changed his entire life.

What the fuck were they doing in San Francisco?

Aaron was a lecturer now, on law in Stanford. Jack attended a new school, much to his dismay.

And then there was you. The gorgeous woman who lived next door to them. You were a lecturer as well, nuclear physics but you were often mistaken for a student, considering you were only 25. You’d been very kind to him since he started work there, and even had had them over for dinner a couple of times.

--------------------------------

“I don’t wanna go!” Jack exclaimed, arms crossed.

“Jack, I have work in 45 minutes, my students are taking the bar exam, and you know your babysitter is out of town, you have to go to school,” he sighed, feeling helpless. Doing this alone had been the hardest part. He had to leave the family he had, the entire team, and his life behind.

“But they’re mean!” he sobbed into his dad’s chest. “They make fun of me for not having a mom…”

Aaron’s heart broke. He didn’t want to send his kid into school if he was being bullied, and he made a mental note to speak to his teachers.

“Hey guys,” your kind voice filled the house from downstairs. Aaron had given you a key just a few weeks ago. “Ready to go?”

Aaron looked at the time on his watch, it was exactly when you all carpooled to school, then work.

“Up here!” Jack shouted down to you as he cried into his dad’s shoulder, ruining his suit. Aaron could hear your footsteps up the stairs and he braced himself for any judgy looks.

Judgy looks which never came.

“Poor Jack,” you sighed, rubbing his head. “What’s going on?”

“The kids at school laugh at me because I don't have a mommy anymore,” he cried, getting up and giving you a hug. You sent Aaron an empathetic look and hugged Jack back.

“That is awful Jack, how about this. You come to work with me and your dad, my lectures don’t start ‘till later so you can hang out with me and I know someone who works at your school, so if you tell me your teacher’s name I can get the lesson plan for today and we can work through it in my office, does that sound good?”

Jack nodded his head furiously and hugged you harder, his tears subsiding.

Aaron’s heart could’ve exploded. You were so kind. You two had only been on a few dates in recent weeks, you hadn’t told Jack yet, but you were so caring.

He mouthed a ‘thank you’ in your direction and you shrugged. ‘It’s the least I can do’.

Aaron ran into his room, pulling on a new suit jacket to replace the one soiled by Jack’s tears, grabbed his briefcase, and followed you out to the car. You’d called your friend at his school and gotten the information so Jack had his school books in his bag. You drove them to the Stanford campus, explained to your supervisor who told you it was alright, and departed for the day, Jack’s hand in yours. Aaron walked over to his building, and you stayed in yours, sending him updates throughout the day. You made the majority of your lectures for the day either study lectures, or just cancelled lectures so you could keep a close eye on Jack. You even allowed three of your most responsible students to teach Jack some maths.

At the end of the day, Jack fell asleep on the couch in your office while you were busy cleaning up your lecture hall.

“Hi honey,” Aaron smiled from the door.

“Hi love,” you smiled back. “How was your day? Did anyone faint in the exam hall?”

He crossed over to you in three quick strides and pulled you into his arms, kissing you deeply. You were so kind, you’d taken care of Jack all day for him, you’d made him feel less alone in the most isolating time of his life, and you were his. Well, maybe, he hadn’t exactly asked yet. “No one fainted, but a few did vomit before coming in.”

“Poor them,” you sighed. “Jack was fine all day, no issues.”

“Have I told you how wonderful you are?” He smiled and you chuckled.

“A few times, sure,” you teased. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

Aaron smiled and moved one of his hands to cup your cheek. “You’re wonderful.”

You smiled back at him, pecking his cheek. “Well, good thing we have a date on Friday.”

“I want to tell Jack,” He admitted. “About us.”

You nodded. “You’re sure? It’s only been a couple of weeks.”

“I’m sure. He loves you anyways, what’s the worst that can happen?” He asked, pressing kisses to your neck as he spoke.

“Umm- He could hate both of us because he feels like we’re replacing your and Haley’s relationship, he could start to resent you if we break up, he could hate me, the list goes on-”

“Don’t let it,” he smiled. “I have spent my whole life making calculated and deliberate decisions, even if I knew those choices wouldn’t make me happy. I want to be happy now, with you and Jack,” he admitted. In recent months you’d taught him the value of being slightly selfish, despite his altruistic tendencies.

“Alright, whatever you say love,” you smiled and kissed him again, then went back to your desk to gather your things.

“I also want to ask you something,” he stated and when you turned around you saw a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You chuckled softly and smiled, the sweetness of the moment warming your heart. “Yes, Aaron, I will be your girlfriend.”

He grinned when you accepted and his hands wrapped around your waist as he pressed your lips against his in celebration.

He was happy, truly happy. For the first time in a long time.

And it was all thanks to you.

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criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #bau team #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction

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cherriegyuu · 1 year

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Willow | 01

pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader genre: angst, marriage of convenience word count: 8.3k summary: seungcheol always knew that he was going to marry you, but things only get harder once he does (or in which seungcheol is just really dumb and doesn't know how to show his feelings)

part one | part two | part three (final) | drabble

You looked at yourself in the mirror and you looked pretty. Many people had worked hard to make you look like that, and at the end of the day, they had succeeded. The only problem was that you didn't feel beautiful. On any other day, you would have loved the attention and would have enjoyed the feeling of getting your body so meticulously cared for. But that wasn’t one of those days. Not when the choices of you ever doing what you wanted again were so slim.

The idea that now you had to report your every move to someone pained you as much as it angered you. Of course that you weren't angry at him; just like you, Seungcheol had little to no choice in the matter.

It was just that much worse that the person you were supposed to be with was Seungcheol. You had known him for most of your life, went to the same schools, had the same circle of friends up until high school. The problem was that you never saw eye to eye in situations, whether it was something as simple as deciding where to go after class or more pressing matters — like wanting or not to be part of your family's business.

To your surprise, Seungcheol wanted it. You had always seen him as the one who would break away from the family, who would drift away from expectations and be whatever he wanted to be. But such a thing never happened.

The last time you saw Seungcheol was during your high school graduation. As thought back to that day, it was easy to notice just how much he had changed. As your final year approached, you slowly drifted apart, and it was during that time that you realized that Seungcheol was your future, and he probably knew that you were his as well.

You expected him to go around talking to everyone, being his usual talkative self but none of that ever happened. That was probably the first time you saw Seungcheol with a frown on his face, hands deeps inside his pockets, as he looked at everyone else without a word. Almost as if he was studying the people around him.

Looking at him, you felt like he was saying goodbye, finally realizing the inevitable future that lay ahead of him. You felt an uncertain need to go to him. You felt everything he seemed to be feeling, you were just better at hiding it. When you took a step to get closer to him, Seungcheol looked at you. It was easy to figure out that he didn't want you to come closer to him, so instead to do what you thought that you should, you walked away.

Throughout the four years of college, there was radio silence on his end. Although both of you attended the same university, your majors were entirely different — his was law and yours was music — and so you never crossed paths.

If you were being honest, you expected him to be popular, to always be the center of attention among his classmates and with girls but none of that ever happened. The only certain way to get any kind of information about him was when you called your parents not that you asked but Seungcheol is doing fine, top of his class, your mom used to tell you.

You always laughed at the notion. The Seungcheol you knew, that loud boy with a cheerful attitude, was average, at most, when it came to studies. The mere idea of him being the best in his class was laughable. Or at least it was until graduation.

As you had expected, your parents made you go. You sat far in the back, as away from the graduates as you possibly could. All of it was truly boring until you saw Seungcheol go up to the stage Top of his class since the first semester. You couldn't really believe it but you also couldn't doubt the dean’s words.

You sat there in complete silence, watching Seungcheol give the most boring and uninspiring speech someone could ever give. He didn't try to say nice things, like most people would have, far from that actually. If you knew Seungcheol well, and at some point, you did know him, his speech was a loud screw all of you, but that was hidden behind a nice mask and carefully chosen words.

That was five years before.

The next time you met was on your wedding day. There were no meetings, encounters, or dates. Emails were never sent and phone calls never happened. Neither one of you had a solid story to tell about your sudden marriage, or at least you didn't.

“y/n?”

You finally turned away from the full-length mirror when you heard your dad's voice. Despite the situation, you found yourself smiling at him.

All through your life, your dad let you off easily. Where your mom would try to hold you back with a firm hand, your dad would loosen the leash a little. Your dad had always been more concerned about the things that you wanted to do, instead of the things that he and your mother expected you to do. When you told him that you wanted to study music rather than become an accountant like him, all he said was as long as you're happy.

You weren't happy, far from it, but in what world could you say no to your dad? Even to your mom, with who you didn't have a good relationship with, you could never say no to her. You knew that even though she was cold, she loved you in her own way.

“How are you?”

Your sigh was more than enough for your dad. You weren't good, fine, or even okay. You were living the moment, even if you thought that the moment was terrible.

“You already know, Dad”

He nodded at you at the same time that his hand reached for your shoulders.

“I know that it may seem like the end of the world now but I assure you that it isn't. Marrying Seungcheol is my way of making sure that you'll always be cared for, and that you'll have someone to rely on when things get hard. Your mom and I married the same way, you know, and we love each other. It didn't start in the way you see in movies or read about, it wasn't passionate from the get-go. We had to build our love, nurture it and cherish it every day. Trust Seungcheol to be there for you just as I know that you'll be there for him”

Trust Seungcheol.

Easier said than done.

Seungcheol indeed have a cover-up story.

We've known each other almost since we were born. In my senior year at university, we went to a family gathering and it all started from there.

It was simple, so simple that no one really had the nerve to question it, though you were sure that a lot of people wanted to. Especially your friends and some of his too — or maybe they were all coworkers, it was hard to tell.

Your friends looked at you as if you were insane for getting married so suddenly, without ever even mentioning Seungcheol. Yeda just did her best to hide her surprise behind a smile, saying, now I know where you went every weekend. Upon hearing those words, Seungcheol's fingers got heavier on your lower back, and his body tensed up, but he didn't say a word.

Contrary to what you expected, pretending to be happy had been easy. It seemed like the feeling was mutual for Seungcheol, judging by the smile on his face. You couldn't expect something different from him, the man was a lawyer — a very good one — who did a fine job of charming his way around. Clients loved him, judges loved him, and even other lawyers couldn't help but also be charmed by Seungcheol.

“Cheol!”

From the other side of the room, someone shouted for Seungcheol. The two of you turned around to look at where it came from.

“Seokmin” Seungcheol sighed.

He should have guessed that if someone was going to make a fuss at his wedding, it would probably be Lee Seokmin.

“I had no idea you even had a girlfriend, so imagine my surprise when I got your wedding invitation”

Inviting him was an idea that Seungcheol was already beginning to regret. Seokmin was a rookie lawyer, just starting but with great instincts. It wasn't usual for his firm to hire someone fresh out of college but the moment he laid eyes on Seokmin, he knew that the kid wasn't just another law student who thought he knew it all. Seokmin actually knew much more than he led on, was smarted than most rookies they ever hired.

“We have been rather… private about our relationship,” you said.

Seokmin’s eyes move at you, and he reached a hand to shake yours.

“I wouldn't want a man who’s more handsome than me around my incredibly beautiful girlfriend. Wife, sorry. Still processing what happened today”

You had to press your lips together to hide a smile. Seokmin reminded you of a younger Seungcheol, though that was something you would never say out loud.

“Remind me again why I even invited you” Seungcheol said between his teeth.

Seokmin put his hands in his pockets, an easy smile on his face as he rocked on his heels.

“Because, even though you shouldn't have favorites, I'm yours” Seokmin looked back at you again and winked “I'm his favorite of all the rookie lawyers”

This time you couldn't control your smile. At your side, Seungcheol grunted something in disagreement and silently shot daggers at Seokmin. You pulled Seungcheol's hand from on back and tugged at it, pulling him forward.

“Will you excuse us, Seokmin? We still have to talk to our parents”

You pulled Seungcheol away, more for him than for yourself. While you seemed to be enjoying the quick conversation with Seokmin, your husband looked as uncomfortable as someone could possibly be.

“Are you not friends with him?” you asked quietly.

Seungcheol didn't answer you for several seconds, so you turned to look at him. The way he looked at you almost made you want to take a step back and away from him but you knew that you shouldn't. But Seungcheol didn't let you. His eyes were hot on your skin, as if with one simple look he could make your skin catch fire. He pulled you closer to his body.

“Let's not pretend, okay? We may be married but we are not close nor friends, we are merely acquaintances who were forced to get married”

From the outside, whoever looked at your thought that you were a young couple in love, but that couldn't be further from the truth. His smile hid well the true meaning of his words, and the proximity of his body showed everyone that he wanted to be close to you when the truth was that he wanted anything in the world but that.

You leaned up in his embrace, your arm around his shoulder and your lips dangerously close to his ear. He could feel the hair against his cheeks, as you pushed on your tiptoes even further to reach him.

“Pretend is what we have to do best from now on, husband"

For the first time in his life, Seungcheol didn't understand your behavior. For the first time, he didn't have you completely figured out.

Before, he always knew your next move, and Seungcheol took pleasure and fighting his way against it. He loved seeing you get angry and thought that it was funny how your cheeks seemed to be on fire. But looking at you in that moment felt different. Your cheeks no longer got hot, your fists weren't balled at your sides and you sure didn't look like you wanted to murder him.

The biggest surprise came when you didn't move away from him completely, and instead, your arm slid down his back and wrapped around his waist. Maybe you were better at putting on a show than he expected

“Seungcheol, y/n"

You turned around and smiled back at Seungcheol's parents. They were responsible for this marriage just as much as yours were to blame but that didn't mean that you would be disrespectful towards them. Even if lashing out at them was exactly what you wanted to do.

“Mom, Dad,” Seungcheol said.

Walking up to the two of you, behind Seungcheol’s parents, were your own parents. Your dad seemed relieved to see you two get closer, though he knew that much of it was just for show. But a slow and fake start was better than nothing at all. And your mom was smiling at you.

She was sure that you would eventually lean on Seungcheol, that you would let yourself fall for him but she never expected for it to happen so fast. She thought that knowing him since childhood would be a big factor in making things easier for you — if you allowed things to move forward between you and Seungcheol.

Since the day they told you about the marriage, you pulled away from your parents, and from what they could tell you also pulled away from your friendship with Seungcheol. Your mother hoped that while you were in college you would find your way to him, find a way to love him. Seeing the smile on your face while Seungcheol, now your husband, was so close to you made her happier than she could have anticipated.

She knew that you thought that she didn't love you or, at the very least, that she had a very odd way of showing it. But that couldn't be further away from the truth.

“I'm glad to see you're getting along fine"

A smile spread through your face, and you visibly squeezed Seungcheol's waist.

“We'll find our own pace, so you don't have to worry"

The smile on your lips surprised Seungcheol yet again. The version of you standing in front of him in that very moment was so much different from the person he knew when he was a teenager.

You were never one to mask your feelings. Whatever you felt was on full display for everyone to see, and you seemed to care very little about what people thought of you. The only person who seemed to be able to say anything about you without you wanting to bite their head off was your brother.

Seungcheol put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against his side.

“We ignored each other for years and worried you guys, but now we’re together in this. Like y/n said, we’ll find our own pace”

The wedding lasted longer than either of you could have predicted. You were told that you would be able to leave around midnight, but it was way past three when people started to get ready to leave. Both Seungcheol and you could no longer take it. It was hard to sit by his side, hold his hand and pretend that everything was completely fine.

The worst part was probably when they took you outside to get the couple's pictures. The photographer was only doing his job, you knew that, but that didn't mean that you enjoyed the entire situation.

“Can you guys kiss?” he asked.

You felt uncomfortable enough already as it was, with Seungcheol behind you, his arm around your waist, his cheek lightly pressing against the side of your head, as both of you smiled happily to the camera. Kissing him would just intensify the discomfort, cementing the reality that you would never be able to walk away.

“Is that really necessary?” Seungcheol asked.

It wouldn't be the first time you kissed. Although you didn’t kiss him when the judge pronounced you officially married, after giving a beautiful speech about love and wishing you both a life filled with happiness and good memories, Seungcheol had been your first kiss.

When you were sixteen all of your friends, including Seungcheol, thought that it was a good idea to play spin the bottle. You were all young and somewhat foolish at the time, and the game seemed like something teenagers did while drinking. You had managed to successfully dodge any questions that could lead to someone finding out about your lack of physical contact with the opposite sex, lying through your teeth. While you were almost scared, Seungcheol was having the time of his life. Not even once did he choose truth; he always wanted a dare.

He always did things like that back then. While you were shy and tended to keep more to yourself and your small group of friends, Seungcheol was outgoing. When you were quiet he made sure to be extra loud. So if you chose truth he had to choose dare.

Up until then, the dares had been minor, eat a package of chips in under one minute, drink two cans of soda without burping. Most dares were simple but not when Mila was the one giving out the dare.

You knew the moment the bottle landed on Seungcheol that his dare was going involve you, and he knew it too. It was in the look he gave you, like he was half apologizing and half saying screw you.

“Kiss y/n”

Most of the kids cheered you on, while others, mostly your friends, gasped. Everyone knew that you and Seungcheol didn't have the best relationship, that you were nearly at each other's throats whenever you were around but not Mila. She always said that you two were just faking it, and that most of your fights seemed staged to get attention from people.

What you could possibly get from that was something you were still trying to find out.

“Can’t you give me something more stupid? Like running naked outside?”

“Trust me, that'll happen. For now, I just want you to kiss her"

Seungcheol looked at you and you blinked at him, pressing your lips together, it was your way of telling him that he could do it. You knew that if either of you said no, things would just escalate for the worse. Mila would never leave either of you alone and for the rest of the night, neither would your friends.

“Fine but I'm not kissing her with you all breathing down my neck”

He got out of his seat and pulled you up by the hand. He lead you to the kitchen and made you stand by the refrigerator. Most of your body was hidden and your friends could only see half of Seungcheol's.

You half expected him to not kiss you at all, or even make a whole show of pretending to kiss you. He did neither. If anything his actions surprised you.

Seungcheol ran his index finger across your forehead and down your cheek until his hand reached the back of your neck. He had a hint of a smile on his lips, lips which you couldn't stop looking at.

“Do I make you nervous, y/n?”

The answer was on your lips to be spoken but you never got the chance. Seungcheol pressed his lips on top of yours, lightly at first until he lost his patience and calmness and pressed harder. His entire body was against yours.

You were young and Seungcheol was the first boy you ever kissed so you didn't have any experience, but he made you feel like you knew exactly what you were doing. It lasted only a minute but it made you dizzy, made you want to pull him closer to you and stay there. But the moment his lips pulled back, he was gone, away from your side and the party altogether.

After that, you both started to avoid each other to some extent. Your eyes would automatically try to look for him but he was never around again. You were glad for his absence. Kissing Seungcheol evoked feeling within you that you had no idea could even exist but at the same time, you disliked the idea that he was one doing it.

“Make sure you get this in camera because we're not doing it again”

You turned around so that you were facing him, your arms going around his waist. He was warm, so warm you almost to the point you wanted to hug him entirely. Having him so close to you again made you feel like you were that sixteen-year-old girl yet again, hiding behind the fridge, wondering what he was thinking. It was like a part of you that had been dormant for years was finally awake.

The thought made you take an instinctive step back. You didn't manage to go very far though.

The second your body was no longer in contact with his, Seungcheol pulled you against him. His actions mirrored exactly what happened when you were a teenage girl, his fingers went down your cheeks until they reached your neck. You closed your eyes, anticipating the light pressure of his lips on top of yours but it never came. Instead of kissing your lips, Seungcheol kissed your forehead.

You couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Your mother had a master plan to make sure that you and Seungcheol would be together no matter what.

While the preparations for your wedding were being made, you took no part in it. Why should you when you were being forced into a relationship you didn't want to be part of? But once you walked inside the apartment you would have to share with Seungcheol, you regretted that decision.

You should have made some decisions, especially when it came to housing arrangements. Your mother, probably Seungcheol's too, decided to only furnish one bedroom. No, scratch that. You were moving in with Seungcheol and he had a fully furnished spare bedroom, or at least he did until both your mothers decided that you didn't need it.

“You can have the bedroom if you want," he said quietly.

His words surprised you. Seungcheol was never the kind of person to be nice for no reason, especially to you, so his sudden rush of kindness was something new. You weren't too sure if you liked it or how you should take it.

“No, thank you” you shook your head “It's probably gross in there. The couch is fine”

Instead of a smart comeback, Seungcheol was in silence, just looking at you. You expected him to say something nasty, at the very least have him tell you fuck you but he did neither of those things. Seungcheol just sighed and turned around.

You sat on the couch, wedding dress still in place, looking at your new life. That was it. An apartment too big for just two people — much less one — and a husband you had a hard time being around.

For most of your life, you had been a romantic, always expecting the love of your life to show up. Even after your parents told you about your inevitable marriage with Seungcheol, you still thought that you could make it.

Being a silly teenage girl, you thought that if you found someone, someone who was really worth it, someone you could love freely without a single doubt, you could walk away from everything like your brother did. But you never, not even once, met someone like that. It's true that you always had your guard up. Why would you get involved with someone just to have your heart broken at the end of the line? It wasn't worth the trouble. However, no one ever made you even question your parents.

Seungcheol walked back into the living room a couple of minutes later with blankets and pillows in his hands, he sat them on the couch without looking at you.

“You can use this until you find yourself a bed" he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck “They're not dirty, so don't worry about that”

That side of him, one that seemed unsure and maybe even a little bit shy was new to you. The Seungcheol you remembered, even the one who showed himself at the wedding, seemed completely in control of things but the one in front of you didn't look like it. Looking at Seungcheol you saw the boy his parents often mentioned while out for dinner with yours, he seemed shy.

“Thank you,” you said with a nod “Goodnight, Seungcheol"

By Monday morning everything went back to how you knew it. Seungcheol was back to being a jerk after you avoided each other for the rest of the weekend, and you were back to ignoring him.

At night, you found him working in his office, he had glasses on and bit the end of a pen while reading a document in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“Since when do you wear glasses?”

You didn't dare to walk inside, so you stopped at the door. You were afraid that he would bite your head off if you did walk in.

“I hope you are well aware of the fact that we won't go on a honeymoon"

The way in which Seungcheol said those words almost made you take a step back. His voice was filled with spite and something that you could only describe as hatred. It was true that you and he had never seen eye to eye on things, that you always enjoyed battling a little but it was never like that. Never before have you thought that Seungcheol could really hate you.

“I never thought that we would,” you said quietly.

You couldn’t help but wonder where that version of him, from those few minutes in the living room, had gone.

“That's good. You can go now, I'm busy”

He said all of that without even sparing you a glance. You never thought that you would be hurt by some of his actions but there you were, walking away from his office as if he had just kicked you in the ribs.

Avoiding Seungcheol was surprisingly easy, even though you both lived in the same house and you were currently out of a bedroom. Even though the spare bedroom still didn’t have a bed or a chair, you spent most of your days inside it reading or on your phone. Seungcheol was either inside his office or went to the firm.

The hard part was explaining to Yeda why you didn't go on a honeymoon — something that is expected of newlyweds. You walked in circles for minutes, trying to come up with a reason that was good enough, and in the end, you had none. Nothing came to mind. Sure, you could have asked Seungcheol what he was going to say to his friends and coworkers, if he was even going to say anything at all, so your stories could match up but you didn't dare to approach him after the way he talked to you.

“Come on, be honest. I've known you long enough to know when you’re lying. Your whole ‘Seungcheol is busy at work’ crap won't work. Also, you don't look half as happy as someone who just got married is supposed to. In fact, you look a little depressed”

You weren't supposed to tell anyone, you were supposed to keep quiet and live your life by Seungcheol's side without anyone ever finding out the truth about your marriage. The two of you got married out of convenience for both sides of the family, sides that never once consulted your wishes and desires. But the words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, before you could think about what you were doing.

You talked for a long time, all while Yeda listened to you quietly. She didn't try to stop you nor she asked questions while you were speaking. All she did was sit there in silence, sipping her coffee quietly while you talked like a radio that never stopped broadcasting.

“So you're saying that you got married to someone you don't love because it’s some sort of tradition in your family?”

It sounded stupid when it was put like that, but it was the truth. When your parents told you about your future wedding with Seungcheol your dad gave you a way out. He said that if you agreed to take over the company, if you went to college and studied to be an accountant just like him, then you were free to marry whoever you wanted — as long as the company was taken care of.

For a tiny second, you thought about it. You could not work as a music teacher, you could work as anything else. Lots of people don't have their dream job, they don't work as something that they want but still manage to find happiness. If other people could do it, then you surely could too. One look at your mother was enough to tell you that either way you would marry Seungcheol, though — even if you gave up everything and did as your dad wished.

“It's more complicated than that” you sighed.

When it came to you and your family, nothing was as easy as it seemed.

“You, my friend, are in some next-level shit"

When Seungcheol saw you walk inside the wedding venue, he was mesmerized. To him, you were always the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, even when you were angry at him for whatever crap he said again. But that day was incomparable. Was that how other people usually felt when seeing their bride walk down the aisle?

Seungcheol learned that he was going to be marrying you when he was only fifteen and you had just turned fourteen. He didn't know what it was supposed to mean, what the implications of him getting married would be. He only knew that he would never have to go through endless dates until he found the one that was meant to be with him.

In a way that made Seungcheol happy. How could it not? His parents were making his life easy, he thought. And then he met you, not the you your parents wanted the world to see but the real you. And he was so surprised to see that you were nothing like he had expected.

Seungcheol knew your brother from school so he thought that you were going to be somehow similar to him. Oh, just how wrong he was. Your brother was quiet, moved through the motions without a care in the world and he seemed to be happy while doing it. And sure, you had that whole aura about you as well but the second your parents were out of sight, or once you found yourself in a comfortable environment you changed completely.

When only your friends were around, you were something else entirely, someone who Seungcheol liked to see. You became loud and cheerful, your laugh loud enough that people around your group of friends would turn around to see just who could be that loud.

But Seungcheol couldn't get too close, he knew that he shouldn't. You were younger than him and still looked at him fondly, which meant that you had no idea about both of your parent's plans. And he had been warned off by your brother, who knew about his parents' plans.

When he left for college, he couldn't stay away for too long. Even when he didn't have to, even when he shouldn't because he had too much to do, he still found time to go back home. He stayed in between high school kids because it was the only way he would ever see you. If he went home and his parents went over to your house for a gathering, you always found a way, or better said an excuse, to do something else.

By the time you started college, Seungcheol saw the change in you. He knew that you were well aware of the fact that yes, you would be marrying him, but you chose to stay away so he decided that he too shouldn't care. But he couldn't bring himself to do that either.

He kept an eye out for you, silently taking care of you without you ever knowing. He never did anything unless he thought that things could get out of hand and you never really got into problems that you couldn't take care of yourself. You were quiet and never went out much and if you ever did was just to make sure your friends wouldn't drink and drive.

He always remembered special dates, your birthday being the utmost important one of them all. Seungcheol would always leave a present at your door. The first time he did it was in your last year of high school. He didn't know what he should get you, had no idea of what you liked so he just got you the biggest teddy bear he could possibly find. It was funny to see your face when you opened the door to a white bear with the words take me, y/n on it’s front.

Not even after college was over, and the two of you were moving on your separate ways Seungcheol stopped. When he ran out of ideas he sent you flowers, more flowers than what you knew what to do with — more flowers than your tiny apartment could ever comport.

As the date of your wedding approached Seungcheol saw himself grow anxious and uncertain. He didn't know just how aware of things you were, if you had planned anything at all and what would be your reaction for what was yet to come. Imagine his surprise when he found out that you had no idea of what was going on, that you went to the venue without knowing what your dress looked like.

The look on your face told Seungcheol everything that he needed to know, you were sad. The amount of sadness, of hurt, there was in your eyes made Seungcheol want to take your hand and just take you from there. You looked beautiful and your smile was marvelous, making people who didn't know you that much, or just didn’t care, think that you were happy. But he knew better. Seungcheol knew you.

He intended to make it better, try to make it as bearable as he possibly could but he didn't do that. No, far from that. Seungcheol was a complete idiot, the biggest one he knew. The moment you tried to say something, the first thing you said to him out of your own will after years, his first instinct was to push you away. It was what he did for years.

The only way to get some kind of reaction from you was to push your buttons the right way, and the only way Seungcheol could do that was by picking on you. It was stupid, so incredibly childish, the worst possible way he could ever use to try and get closer to you. Seungcheol knew all of that but it was also the only thing he could do. The old him, the one who was too young to understand the magnitude of what getting married meant, used to think that the only way to get your attention was by being a complete idiot to you. Even now, when he knew for a fact that being mean would get him nowhere, Seungcheol didn’t know to act differently. Because even years later, when both of you were no longer the two kids you once were, the only to get you to even look at him was by being rude. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” Seungcheol knew that he would get nowhere by lying to Seokmin, his friend was far too good at knowing when the people around him were lying. “You can correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you be, at the very least, at home with your wife?” Rolling his eyes at his friend, Seungcheol sat back down on his chair and pretended to be looking at the files on his desk. His mind was anywhere but at his work. No, correct that. His mind was on you rather than on his work. He kept thinking that, despite his apparent lack of interest, you still told him where you were going and what you were doing. It's true that he did ask you if you needed a ride for work because Seungcheol knew that you hated driving, but you still made a point of letting him know. “I was given days off since I just got married,” you said to him.

In the quietness of his office, Seungcheol felt guilty. He should be at home with you, trying to figure things out, trying to come to an agreement on your relationship. Your marriage didn’t start the way you’d expect, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of marriage that starts simply out of love. Your relationship, if you could even call it that, wasn't anything like either of you had ever experienced. But the truth is that the two of you needed to find some common ground, needed for things to be clear, and boundaries needed to be created.

“You’re such a terrible liar. It’s a wonder how you are still a lawyer”

Trust Seokmin to be completely blunt and tell Seungcheol off the first chance he got. That was one of the many reasons why Seungcheol chose Seokmin as his right-hand. Despite the age difference, how he was the one who would one day run the office and was clearly above him in the hierarchy ladder, Seokmin was the kind of person he could trust.

Seungcheol trusted him enough to tell him the truth about his marriage, about how he has been pinning over his wife since he was a teenager — granted that he slightly when he told Seokmin all of that, but he was only able to say those things because he trusted him that much.

“I regret hiring you every time you open your mouth” Seungcheol sighed.

“You would never fire me though. I’m your favorite, everyone here knows that”

Seungcheol sighed and looked up at Seokmin, his attention momentarily away from the case files.

“Do you have something to say? I have work to do, in case you haven’t noticed”

Seokmin shook his shoulders and turned to walk out of Seungcheol’s office. He was gone for two seconds before he popped his head back in, with a grin on his face.

“Go home, Seungcheol”

You were in sweats and a shirt most of the day, except for the few hours Yeda came by and took furniture shopping.

On a normal occasion, you would have thrived on the news of a few days off. After all, it was something that you had been wanting to do for a very long time but in your mind, you would travel with Yeda, somewhere sunny and beachy. Yet you were stuck inside an apartment that wasn’t yours, without a bed, and with your stuff scattered on the floor of a bedroom that wasn’t yours either.

Telling your friend the truth about your life felt like getting a weight off of your shoulders. It didn’t cure anything, and it didn’t make anything better but it made you feel better, and for a while that would have to be enough.

You kept thinking of ways to talk to Seungcheol, to try and reach a consensus with him on how things should move forward. You were married now and that meant Seungcheol would be a constant in your life. At the very least, you should be able to trust him.

Even so, trust was too much of a strong word, something that felt foreign even though he was someone who had been around you for most of your life. No, trust wasn’t it, at least for now it wasn’t what you needed. What was of vital importance were the rules — coexisting rules. After Yeda left, you sat down with a piece of paper and started to scribble down what you thought was necessary for the two of you to cohabit. It couldn’t be too much, nothing too out of the ordinary or crazy. Seungcheol, although he was a grown man who could and did support himself, could turn into a twelve-year-old that needed to be babied — or at least that’s how you remembered him. When he finally got home from work, you had already ordered pizza and were sitting on the couch watching the eight o’clock news. “Our first meal together as a married couple is pizza” he grunted as he sat down on the easy chair on the opposite side of you. You pushed the box towards him and leaned back on the couch. “If the pizza is any indication of how our marriage is going to be then I would say it will go pretty nicely” Because Seungcheol seemed stressed when he left in the morning, and if you were being honest all through the weekend as well, you decided that you would order his favorite pizza. If you were a little more domesticated then you could have probably cooked him something, try to make it even harder for him to be an asshole to you for a few hours. But cooking was never something you enjoyed or were good at, so the whole get a man by his stomach wasn’t going to happen with you two.

You survived college only through packaged meals and fast food. You weren’t about to start cooking because of him. The only thing he could get from you was some takeout or order in, if that. “Are you suddenly optimistic about our marriage?” You shook your head and you gave him one of the contracts you wrote. “No, I have something to ask” He laughed as he took the sheet out of your hands. “That’s how it’s going to be now? You feed me and ask for something?” he put the paper on the table and went back to looking at you. “Isn’t that how most marriages go? I even got them to take off the pineapple from the pizza Not even half with the delicious pineapple. I really tried” It was hard for Seungcheol to keep a straight face. Yes, you were trying. If the roles were reversed and you had treated him the same way he did to you, he would not even look at you twice, much less would he try to talk to you.

“I'm in a good mood, so ask away”

“Can I use your office?”

Seungcheol looked at you, confusion all over his face. Out of all the things that you could have asked him that would be the last one in his mind.

“There's more stuff in here”

He didn't bother to read what you wrote, whatever your conditions were, he would comply.

“Ah yes,” you ran your hands on top of your thighs cleaning them before turning around to face him “Since neither one of us wanted this, I thought that we should have some housing agreements. Number one is: you're in charge of food”

He knew how to cook, he wasn't good enough to make it to Master Chef but he wouldn't starve. He almost laughed remembering the day your mother went to his house to plan for the wedding. She said that you were perfect in all other ways but that Seungcheol should never let you get near the kitchen unless it was for takeout. I don't know what else to do, I teach her and she actually tries but she just can't.

“I can do the shopping but that's it” you looked at him, expecting him to fight back but all you got from him was a quiet agreed “Good. Number two and three: because you're cooking I'll do the cleaning but we will share doing laundry. I refused to get anywhere near your underwear, Number four: We will share the office. Although I like my bedroom and it's big enough to fit everything, thank you for that, I prefer to paint with natural light and it doesn't have much of that”

He nodded at that too. When Seungcheol moved to his apartment he chose it because his bedroom, as well as his office, had a nice view of the city but the spare bedroom faced other buildings in the same complex, so there wasn’t much sunlight. He didn't care much about that at the time since he was alone for a while. He was sure that when you finally got married, you would move to an actual house, he could remember you saying that was something you wanted. But since the marriage itself happened so quickly neither one of you had the time to look into it.

“Yeah, that's okay. Move stuff around as much as you want, I don't mind. Have you bought the furniture for your bedroom? I didn't think to buy anything because I didn’t know they would get the bed removed, I'm sorry. What about your instruments? I haven’t seen anything”

You almost shocked on your saliva. Never before had you heard Seungcheol apologize to someone and sound sincere while doing it. Every single time he said it before, it was pushed out between his teeth, his hands closed into fists. He hated to apologize more than anything in the world, even if he was completely wrong.

He is really trying.

And the fact that he remembered about your instruments, that he even thought to ask about them, made your heart do a little leap inside your chest. You wanted to press your hand over it, as if telling it to calm down

“I went today with Yeda, they'll probably bring the stuff tomorrow” you purposely didn’t mention your work.

“I don't think that sort of thing happens so fast”

You snorted turning the page in the contract. You were almost embarrassed by calling it a contract. He read actual contracts and official documents every day at his job, and whatever you wrote was probably like an insult to him.

“It does when you pay extra”

A groan escaped your lips when you heard those words, hated saying them out loud. For all the three seconds that it took you to say them, you sounded just like your mother and that was not a comparison that you would like to be part of.

“Anyway, item number five: all of our extramarital activities should be done outside this apartment. This is our safe haven. Whatever happens, needs to stay outside”

It was something hard to say, something that felt bitter on your tongue, but what other choice did you have? Both of you were thrown into a marriage without love, a marriage that neither of you really wanted and yet were stuck with each other.

Saying those words left a nasty taste in your mouth. Not once before, while imagining what it would be like to married to someone — married to Seungcheol — you pictured yourself bluntly saying that he could be in a relationship with someone else, a person who wasn’t you. You’ve always known that Seungcheol had a few relationships before and you were okay with it. You weren’t anything to each other but a promise, and so you never expected him to be faithful in the first place. Even though he never said anything to you, even though you never saw those things happen right in front of your eyes, word always got out and found its way to you. It never really matter how badly you didn’t want to hear about it. Knowing those things made your heart drop as if it was no longer beating in your chest like it was supposed to. And you hated yourself for it. Why did you care? Why did it hurt to know about those things when Seungcheol didn’t mean anything? You were seventeen when you were told that you would be marrying Seungcheol and ever since you never really contemplated the idea of being with someone else. Not because you were in love with him but because you knew that he was the one who you would end up with no matter how you wanted it to happen. So why should you engage in a relationship when it was bound to end? In college, while all of your friends went to parties and did all the things that it was expected of college kids, you stayed back and did your best at school, thinking that you could enjoy your life later when the plan for your career was set in the right direction. But you never actually did enjoy anything. School was over and all you did was focus on your work. And Seungcheol was always in the back of your mind, quietly reminding you that no matter what you did, he was the one you would be with in the end. He wasn’t the one you wanted but he was the one you were stuck with. So why, just why, was it so painful to say that he could be with other people? Tentatively, you looked at him. His eyes were focused on the paper in his hands, running over the same sentence again and again, hoping that if he read just one more time, it would magically change. For a second, it was as if he wasn’t even breathing at all. “My own wife is telling me that she wants to date other men while saying me that I should date other women” his bitter laugh made your heart drop all over again, and the sight of him writing his name under all the things you listed made you want to throw up “Good night, y/n”

hi! thank you for reading! let me know if you want to be tagged once part two is out, you can either message me or send an ask

#seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #seungcheol x you #scoups x you #scoups #seventeen angst #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines

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honeyhoshi · 7 months

Text

hat trick!

the term 'hat-trick' is used to define when a player achieves the feat of scoring three goals in a single game.

summary: the first half of the championships is going to their opponents and everyone is looking to mingyu to lead the team to victory. as their star player, it’s a tall order, especially when his plate is already full with you.

this a part of the man of the match universe

genre: professional football (soccer) au, porn with a little plot

wordcount: 5,616

pairing: mingyu x afab!reader

warnings: HEAVY DDlg kink, HEAVY d/s themes, both parties are safe, sane, and consenting adults, reader is implied to be significantly smaller than mingyu, huge mingyu, big dick gyu (canon), (acknowledged???) exhibitionism, unprotected sex (pls dont do it, its not worth it), multiple sex scenes, spit kink (bec i wrote it), creampie (also bec i wrote it), mentions of masturbation, size kink go bbrrrr, bulge kink, pussy stretching, plenty dirty talk, mingyu uses soooo many nicknames (pretty, baby, princess, etc.)

author's notes: this is written for my dearest friend @madeforgyu who helped me bring forward!mingyu to life and for making his gf such a joy to write. thank you also to her for inspiring me to come back to tumblr after almost a decade.

Mingyu is pissed. He’s absolutely fucking livid.

This game had to have been fucking cooked. There was no way the ref was making all these shitty calls for him not to be paid off or something. The team had been making all the right moves but the second something seems like a foul, a whistle blows and somehow it's always someone from the Diamonds getting the blame.

Mingyu had come to four attempted goals on target and any other time was deemed offside by the refs. If he sees that fucking checkered flag go up one more time before they call for half time he’s going to really give them a reason for a red card.

Any other day he’d probably be able to brush it off after the half time break. But this isn’t any other day or any other match. It was the last match of the season — it was the Korean FA Cup final.

The 23-24 season was grueling but rewarding for the Diamonds. After the major upset at finishing as runners up in the season prior, the whole squad had come into this season with fire under their asses. The change in coaches was another thing — while their ex-manager, Mr. Cho was a hardass, their tearful promise to give him a win even after his retirement paired with Seungcheol’s no-bullshit coach style took them from 100% to 250% in the space of the off season.

Mingyu’s never been a better football player. Which is why he’s unhappy when the half time whistle does blow and they’re down 0-2.

Both teams shuffle into the tunnel to head to their locker rooms where their managers and coaching staff were waiting. Then Mingyu sees a flurry of pink shuffling through the mess of white and red kits.

“Excuse me, excuse mee, coming through please,” comes a light voice, parting the crowd.

There are a couple of chuckles and greetings coming from his teammates and even a high five and a “hey tiny!” from Hoshi before it finds its way in front of him.

It’s his girlfriend. It’s you.

Your presence at the game is no anomaly. You’re pretty much a permanent fixture, sort of like the 12th man of the team. Except you can’t play football for shit and you’re always somehow wearing the worst shoes for going on the pitch.

Everyone on the Diamonds’ side knows you — from the press, to the coaching staff, even some of the nutritionists. You’ve been with Mingyu forever. You hardly phase anyone around you when you bat your eyes at Mingyu and grab one of his hands in both of yours.

Mingyu tries to harden his glare at you, doing his best to send a look of displeasure at whatever it is you’re trying to pull.

“I’m soooorry,” you start, playfully rocking on the balls of your feet and trying to tiptoe to get closer to him.

Mingyu almost wants to roll his eyes.

The last of the team coaches enter the locker room but before the door closes, Seungcheol peeks out and meets Mingyu’s eyes. Hoshi’s head pops out next to him shortly after.

“I don’t have to tell you anything, I’m sure," Seungcheol starts, “But you’ve got 10 minutes, Gyu.”

“Tiny, I need my forward in tip top shape, alright?” comes Hoshi’s laugh.

Now Mingyu really rolls his eyes.

You can’t help the giggle that bubbles out, “Aye aye captain!”

You don’t have to be told twice when Mingyu drags you into an extra locker room and says “Skirt up, pretty.”

He makes quick work of slamming the door shut, not even bothering to lock the door. But he does flick the lights open. He wants to see. He has to see all of you.

When he turns around he clicks his tongue at you seated on one of the benches. You’re still rolling your underwear down your legs. They’re a completely useless pair. Though he admits most of your underwear is useless, either too frilly, flimsy, just there for decoration. It’s okay. He likes pretty things. No wonder he likes you so much.

“Uh-uh, doubletime princess. No time for the usual. I need to come before stepping back on that fucking pitch.”

Mingyu’s agitation from his sub par showing during the first half is bubbling under his skin. He’s been stiffening under his shorts since he saw you shuffling through the tunnel and the minute you grabbed his hands, the only thing in his head was how badly he needed to stuff you with his cock.

He grimaces at the pout on your lips as you finally untangle that stupid lacey thing from your frilly socks and platform sneakers. Mingyu grabs your wrist and drags you up against the wall that isn’t lined with lockers. He presses your front against the wall and uses his knee to spread your legs apart.

On instinct you stick out your ass, eager already despite him still being fully dressed, wiggling slightly to show him you want this too.

With quick, practiced fingers Mingyu undoes the knot of his bottoms and pushes down his compression shorts low enough to pull his cock out. He breathes a sigh of relief because finally he can flip up your skirt and see just how needy you are.

He has one large hand wrapped around his equally large cock and inspecting the view in front of him. His other hand settles on the roundness of your ass, grasping slightly to spread you open. He eyes your pink puckered hole and allows his gaze to move down to your pussy. He’s pumping himself roughly to get himself to full hardness as he eyes the slick that’s seeping between your lips. You’re almost jealous. That’s your job.

Once he’s satisfied with himself, he lets his cock rest between your cheeks, and he grasps you on both sides to squeeze. You want to cry, almost scared he’ll get off like this, just fucking the tightness of your pressed asscheeks. It’s almost quiet save for his panting and the way your slick cunt is starting to wet his cock.

So you whine loudly, that unimpressed, unsatisfied one that precedes a—

“Daddyyyyyyyy!”

Fuck there it is.

Mingyu grimaces and clicks his tongue again. No use being quiet now. Or ever, really. Everyone knows anyway.

He turns you around quickly, hoisting you up in his arms and moving to wrap your legs around his slender waist. This position has your pussy pressing up against the underside of his cock and the slight relief it gives you makes you nearly sob.

Instead you whine. You whine and start to grind sloppily as the feeling of delirium starts to course through you. It comes naturally when it comes to Mingyu. You’re addicted and so is he.

Even if your bare cunt is already pressed against him and all Mingyu has to do is angle your hips slightly to slip in, he goes the extra mile.

He supports your smaller frame with one hand and uses the other to lift a corner of his jersey to his teeth so he can bite it. He pulls it up high enough to expose his stomach and your mouth waters at the sight.

Mingyu looks good. He always looks good and he knows you like it when he’s on display for you as well. The dips and groves of his stomach, how it's still damp from the sweat from the first half, has you clenching around nothing.

He feels it against his cock and he quickly decides to quit playing around. You two probably have around 6 minutes and not a second to lose. So he flips the front of your skirt up and groans at the sight of you.

You’re soaked and coating his cock as you try to grind against him, a futile attempt to somewhat relieve yourself.

So Mingyu pulls away slightly to position the head of his cock at your entrance.

“D’you play with yourself at all, sweetheart?” He says, tapping the large head of his cock against your clit.

“Huh?” comes your confused response.

“I asked my dumb baby if she played with this little pussy?” He answers meanly.

You flush. It’s like a routine for you to stay with Mingyu the night before a game, allowing him to let off steam and go into a game day glowing and stress free while you sit on his lap in the team bus full of his cum from your morning fuck.

But the night before the cup finals had you attending a work event at the last minute because of a scheduling issue that had both you and Mingyu pissed off and horny.

You suppose that’s partly to blame for the first half that had even you swearing at the refs from your seat in his private box.

“Just a little—“

He clicks his tongue, “How many fingers d’you use?”

“Just two daddy, a-and I stopped!” you cry almost petulantly.

“Yeah, baby? Why’d you stop?”

“Because it was no good!” You bounce in his hold slightly, biting your lower lip as he continues to tease your entrance and clit. Just the head of his cock was enough to get you this wound up.

He grins. It’s brilliant and handsome and just so fucking mean because he says, “Thats right. Two of my dumb baby’s fingers are nothing on daddy’s cock,” and pushes into you.

Mingyu has always been so big and thick and you have always always been so much smaller than him, his cock always stretching a little painfully when he first slips in. But today, with such little time and even spending the night away from each other, the stretch punches the breath from your lungs.

You squeal in equal parts delight and distress and Mingyu sets a brutal pace, not even letting you settle into the feeling of him inside of you.

But you understand. You’re his good girl so you look at him with big teary eyes, bottom lip in between your teeth and nod dumbly at him. Words fail you whenever he’s inside you but it’s okay. It’s better than okay.

You two have long established how nothing nothing in this world makes you happier than when he uses you as he wants, when slips into you whenever he wants, and calls you his princess while destroying your insides.

His eyes are transfixed on where the two of you meet and you can’t help but follow his gaze. It’s absolutely lewd how you wrap around his cock, airtight, and how the sloppy noise echoes in the room.

“Look at my little pussy,” he starts, “my perfect little hole. My baby’s little cunt was made for me.”

Your cries are growing needier, louder, and more depraved. At the back of your mind you remember to worry about how tonight's the championship match and that the halls are surely bustling with press, staff, and even the opposing team. But Mingyu is fucking you so deep, so fast, that he’s literally fucking the thoughts out of your head.

You fight to stay with him in this room, in this moment, but before your eyes completely shut close, you feel his hand wrap around your throat.

“Daddy’s running out of time, baby,” he says, “so be a good girl and stay still for daddy, huh?”

You whine and nod as his hips move faster and he cages you up against the wall, your arms coming up to wrap around his head.

“Words, princess. I need words.”

You want to swear at him and thrash in his arms but you’re feeling too good, too lost in the pain and pleasure. You bite at the collar of his jersey because it's the only thing you can do to quiet the pathetic whimpers, babbling, and indecipherable cries Mingyu’s pulling from you.

Mingyu presses a kiss to your temple quickly, “My dumb baby,” he coos, “look so pretty when you’re crying on my cock. That’s my pretty baby, daddy’s almost there. Keep being good for me, m’kay?”

He speeds up his fucking, hips pistoning, and the press of his cock pressing against that spot in you that makes you see stars.

Mingyu pulls you into a kiss that’s all spit and teeth and bruising lips. He sucks on your tongue before separating the two of you and looking back down at his cock bullying its way into your pussy.

It happens before your mind can process it but at the speed of light you feel a wet, hot thwack of his spit landing on your clit harshly and you cry out, unable to keep it in.

“Daaaaddy!” It’s loud and keening and you’re sure everyone on the other side of the wall hears.

But it’s all Mingyu needs and one, two, three, brutal thrusts later, he’s spilling deep into you, fucking you through his orgasm.

Your eyes fly open as he rubs at your clit with his thumb while he pulls out and slaps at your puffy clit before he brings your face close and presses back in for a long, deep kiss.

When he pulls away and meets your eyes there’s a mean glint in them and a shit eating grin that is almost frustrating enough to bring you back to tears.

“See baby, if you’d been good, I’d have made you come.”

“B-but! I was good, daddy! I was so good for you!” He settles you back down on wobbly legs and tucks himself back into his uniform.

You’re looking at him in indignation, tears brimming at eyes, threatening to fall. Mingyu’s eyes soften as he brushes the tears away with large thumbs and tucks your hair behind your ears.

It’s a futile attempt to have you looking presentable but your smudged lip gloss and the mess at the back of your head are enough to sell you both out for your halftime activities.

“Being good means not touching what belongs to daddy when he’s not there.”

All you can do is huff. He’s right.

You’re trying to fix how your jersey (a custom pink version of the Diamonds’ home jersey) is tucked into your skirt when you catch Mingyu picking something up from the floor.

It’s your underwear.

“Gimme!” You pout, trying to reach for it. But all Mingyu has to do is raise it above his head and it’s impossible for your to retrieve the flimsy lace

“I think I’ll keep this one for now,” he starts, “Think of it as a lucky charm.”

He unrolls the flimsy fabric and folds it into a small square, tucking it into his compression shorts and tightening up the drawstring of his uniform.

“If you want to be good for daddy tonight, you’ll keep all my cum inside of you, won’t you?” He says sweetly, talking you through the idea he’s suddenly come up with, “then daddy will win this game and fuck you with my medal on.”

After trying to get both of you presentable again, you slip out of the auxiliary locker room hand in hand just two minutes over Seungcheol’s initial 10 minute deadline.

You greet the team as they all line up again to return to the pitch and smile proudly as Mingyu talks to his teammates about feeling more relaxed and ready to play. You don’t miss the way he lets go of your hand just to wrap an arm around your waist, hand resting just on the curve of your ass as you two pass the players of the opposite team.

“Good luck, daddy. Come back to me a champion, please.” You bat your eyelashes at him and press the most innocent of kisses to his cheek.

The sweet moment is interrupted by an exuberant, “OKAY! LET’S GO!” from Hoshi.

You roll your eyes at him playfully but give in when he asks for a fist bump and says, “Tiny, thank you as always for your invaluable contribution to the Diamonds.”

You head off to where Hoshi’s girlfriend is seated, opting to be surrounded by friends and fans alike, but not before hearing the two teammates’ exchange.

“You ready to show them up, rockstar?” Is Hoshi’s jest.

Mingyu can only laugh and say, “Fuck you.”

And show them up he does. Just 6 minutes back on the pitch and Mingyu reminds everyone why he’s one of South Korea’s most prolific strikers. With an assist from Jeonghan Mingyu is lighting fast as he performs one of his signature moves and sends the ball flying to the top left corner of the goal.

You scream your throat hoarse as you watch him run across the pitch towards a camera, pointing and kissing the diamond crest on his chest.

Not long after that Mingyu nets a freekick from just beyond the penalty box, equalizing the game. With so much at stake and still so many minutes on the clock, you can hardly breathe easily, knowing it could still go either way. And it does.

At the 80th minute the opposition scores their third goal and you could practically feel the Diamonds’ crowd deflating, fearing a repeat of the previous year.

“They can still equalize, I’m sure of it,” you hear Hoshi’s girlfriend from beside you, “As long as Soonyoung doesn’t fuck up and your boyfriend produces another one of his miracles, we can take this to penalties.”

You groan. You hate penalties, but you know how much this match means to Mingyu and the team.

Despite the possibilities, the game has gone into injury time and the crowd around you already look like they’re ready to pack up but sticking around just in case.

The majority of the players are crowded around the opponents’ goal, desperate feet hoping to score or hoping to defend. At this point some of the opposite side’s players are just trying to kill time to secure their win.

Hoshi is yelling orders from along the Diamonds’ midfield, abandoning his goal with the confidence that his teammates will surely take another goal.

But time just about stops when the Diamonds are awarded a corner. Jeonghan looks like he’s dragging his feet about taking it, walking away to have someone else take the kick. But in a split second he turns back to kick the ball in a beautiful arch that meets none other than Mingyu’s right foot to take a third goal.

Hat trick.

Penalties are an awful cruel thing for any football fan, you think. Even after over ninety minutes a winner still isn’t decided and it falls down to each team’s five penalty takers and their goalkeepers.

Hoshi’s girlfriend is in hysterics next to you, gripping your hand like a lifeline. Mingyu had been the first to take his penalty, the ball floating almost gracefully and finding itself out of the keeper’s reach in a split second.

The score was at 4-3 with the Diamonds in the lead after Seungkwan’s attempt had found the back of the net neatly. If their opponents miss this, the championships would be theirs.

This all falls down to their captain.

Hoshi has always been so dependable and today is no exception. The very second he deflects that fifth and final attempt, cheers erupted in every direction and the final whistle is blown.

The Diamonds won the Korean FA Cup.

The players, the coaches, and press flood the pitch and white confetti erupts around you. Before you know it your seatmate has vanished. She’s running across the pitch to jump into Hoshi’s arms, kissing away the tears pouring down his face, the team captain overcome with emotion.

Jealousy flares in your chest and you try to look everywhere for Mingyu. You stand indignantly, looking all over for him when you’re reminded of gravity.

The intensity of the match and the anxiety at its uncertainty had taken your mind away from your mid-match tryst with Mingyu and from the fact that he had come so deeply inside of you that it was only now that you were standing and pacing and you could feel the thick, sticky seed moving inside of you, threatening to drip out of your hole. You didn’t even have any underwear to catch it and sop up the mess, the lace neatly folded and tucked into Mingyu’s own underwear.

You stamp your foot and a whine pathetically when you feel someone come up behind you. You quickly turn to see that, amidst the chaos, Mingyu had found you.

You’d only been away from each other for an hour but in that hour he had become a champion and that fact alone had changed him. He looked like some Greek hero with how he stood with pride painted on his face and how his handsome smirk screamed winner.

God, you needed to suck his cock.

Luckily for you, Mingyu had the same idea. With the flurry around the win and the podium and carpets still being set up, the captain, manager, and executives still giving interviews, Mingyu knows everyone will be busy and he has time to whisk you away before anyone will even notice he’s gone.

That’s how you end up in the team’s main locker room, still a bit messy from the half time huddle, kneeling in front of Mingyu’s locker and choking on his cock.

“That’s right, baby. Take it slow so you can take more daddy in your mouth,” is his sweet encouragement before he takes the bottle of champagne next to him and takes a long swig.

You’re transfixed, blinking teary eyes to clear them, just so you don’t have to look away from the sight in front of you.

Mingyu had stripped everything off, feeling like he was overheating from the match he’d just played. He sat like a king, leaning back against his locker, spreading his legs and propping one leg up on the bench. He’d popped open a bottle of champagne and pressed the mouth of the bottle to your lips, watching the alcohol overflow from your mouth and drip down your chin to your neck and down your chest.

He kisses you shortly after, tasting the Moët on your tongue and pushing you down onto your knees.

There’s no need to preface anything because in no time you’re gagging on him. It doesn’t take much to have you drooling all over him, his cock so much bigger than what you should actually have in your mouth.

“You can fuck my throat, daddy, please please please!” You gasp out as he pulls you off of him so you can take in a deep breath.

“I know baby,” he says before taking another swig of that champagne, your eyes following the way his Adam's apple bobs.

He leans down to bring the bottle to your mouth and says, “tongue out, my filthy girl.”

Your spit is thick and sticky in your mouth and you make a show of it when you follow his orders. He wraps a hand around your throat to steady you as he pours champagne into your mouth again, not caring about how much falls down the side of your mouth and dampens your jersey.

He leans back, pleased with the indulgent mess before him, and grabs at the hair at the crown of your head to pull you back down on his cock.

You’re a dream. You had been so good, so obedient at learning to take his cock over the years, and now he’s sure he’s molded himself into your throat the same way he’s made your pussy perfect for only him.

“My perfect girl’s got the most perfect mouth, huh?” He’s holding you down onto him, keeping your head in place, “The filthiest fucking mouth and its all for dad’s cock.”

The noises are disgusting. With your mouth full you can’t say anything but you’re happy just to listen to him come undone. Your spit and his pre-cum gather at the sides of your mouth but you don’t want to stop until he’s pumping his sticky cum onto your tongue.

You pull off of him to lave your tongue over his balls, sucking on one and then the other before saying, “Daddy, I think I deserve to drink your cum, right?”

Mingyu swears under his breath, somehow still not believing how lucky he got with you, your depraved mind the only one that can match his own.

He downs the rest of the champagne and moves to kiss you, sharing the drink. You gulp down what you can before going back down on him, holding down his hips as the muscles beneath your fingers jerk as he fills your mouth.

Mingyu comes in thick ropes of sticky hot cum that you almost have trouble swallowing, but daddy trained you to be a good girl, thankful for everything she gets. So you swallow every single drop, proudly showing Mingyu your empty mouth.

“Atta girl.”

You try to be on your best behavior and good for Mingyu for the rest of the evening. You’re the picture-perfect girlfriend watching and cheering proudly as he gets his gold medal and the team cheers in unison once Hoshi lifts the trophy above his head. The pictures are taken and the interviews are given but there’s only so much you can take and by the time Mingyu has you buckled up into his car, you’re feeling unnecessarily bratty.

“Baby,” Mingyu starts. You’re some fifteen minutes away from his house and he’s about to get into it now?

“Mm,” is your petulant response.

“Listen to me,” he warns.

But it almost comes as an instinct to you to retaliate, having the most fun when you two go back and forth like this.

“Don’ wanna.”

From the corner of your eye you see his jaw harden.

“Didn’t daddy fill you up, today?” He says as more of a statement.

“He did.”

“Didn’t daddy feed you his come, princess?”

You start to flush, “He did.”

“And then didn’t daddy say he was going to fuck you with his medal on if he won the championships?”

He’s pulling up to his house now and you almost let out a sigh of relief.

“He did,” you answer.

He parks and turns to you, “Then you are going to get out of this car and head up to our room and you are going to strip yourself naked.”

You’ve been waiting for this. Finally, away from any prying eyes and ears, no matter how accepting, you can finally let loose and have him every way you want him.

“Daddy will park the car and unload the stuff and when I come into the room I better see that messy pussy served up for me.”

There’s buzzing in your ears and you bite your lips.

“Of course, daddy.”

It starts with your good intentions, really.

You had asked him kindly to lay back against the pillows and the headboard promising that you were going to be real good, daddy, I promise! And that you were so proud of him, that he was so yummy on the field and of course he was going to be the winner.

You wanted to reward him, said that daddy deserves to be ridden to have your tits in his face, to be spoiled.

To be fair, it was a valiant effort on your end. Once he’d settled into bed, you squealed and threw yourself over him, chest to chest as you rubbed your bare pussy onto his cock.

You were aching to be stuffed but you know how sloppy and wet he likes your pussy to be. And through his cum from earlier today was smeared all over your cunt and thighs, you knew you could do better for him.

You pressed kisses to his chest while running your hands over the dips and divots, the hardness and softness of his chest and abs and sighed dreamily as you met his eyes through thick lashes, “I love you daddy, I’m so happy for you.”

“I love you too, baby. I’m happy I made you happy,” was his simple response.

You bit your lip at the elation that filled your chest and you pressed a quick kiss to the gold medal resting on his chest. You stood on your knees on either side of his hips and kept one hand on his stomach to steady yourself as you lined his cock with your entrance.

The delicious stretch and resistance was still there as you sank down on him, his own spend mixing with your slick, making the slide delicious.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off how your pussy split open to take all of him. The pace is slow and your whimpers of “Daddy, daddy, daddy” made his head spin.

But while slow and romantic was good, it was always just how your love making started. This was all before your thighs had grown tired and your lower back started to hurt.

Mingyu tried to talk you through it, guide your hips on how to grind just right for the head of his cock to press against that spot inside of you. Even his encouragement of you can do it, pretty, daddy’s tired is futile when you finally cry out.

“But daddyyyyy,” comes the high pitched whine, “I’M TIRED TOO. Don’t you feel bad for your baby?”

And he breaks at that.

He sits up and flips the two of you over without even pulling out and your eyes roll as the movements jostle him inside of you.

The anticipation is reaching its boiling point when lifts one leg and places it over his shoulder and pulls out of you to rest his cock on your sopping cunt.

He loves this. It’s fucking sick, but he loves to see how big he is compared to your little hole. He loves to see the head of his cock aligned with your belly button and how you clench around nothing, already missing him inside you.

Before he decides to push his cock back inside you he grasps himself by the base and rubs harshly at your entrance and clit with the engorged head of his cock. It makes you squeal as the rough stimulation shocks your system.

He had left you hanging during half time, with only just enough time for him to fill you up, and you had been too preoccupied blowing him to rub yourself to completion after the match.

But the blessed feeling of an orgasm is finally bubbling back onto the surface now that Mingyu was focusing on your pleasure.

“You’ll give me this, right, baby?” He says pulling you back to him. He wants you to be present, to know how he’s making your body tick, “Be my good girl and wet my cock, daddy wants this pussy to be dripping when he fucks it.”

You whimper in acknowledgment and he speeds up his ministrations, the stimulation getting to him as well as beads of pre-cum mix with your slick and eventually, the spray of your cum squirting out of you messily.

Your moan is music to his ears and you cry out as he pushes his cock into you, not giving you even a second of respite.

With both hands free, Mingyu positions both of your legs over his shoulders, your stupid frilly socks tickling his ears. This position is a favorite for the both of you. He loves how deep he can fuck you like this, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. And you love how when you put your hand just under your belly button, you can see and feel how his cock moves inside you.

“Fuck, look at you,” he says all too breathless, “So fucking perfect.” The sweat beading on his face falls on your temples and you want to cry — what a waste not to taste him on your tongue.

“My perfect little cocksleeve, that I made just for me, isn’t that right. Fuck.” He’s losing it and God do you want him to fall apart.

He pulls away slightly and laughs to himself a little when he sees how his medal, still around his neck, is resting on your chest, bouncing slightly as he continues to fuck into you. What a sight. And only his.

What a day it’s been for him to have woken up in this very bed alone and just another football player hoping for a dream to come true. And to end up here now, in the same bed with you calling out to him like a litany of prayers and his champion’s medal sitting between your tits, bite marks on the flesh contrasting prettily against the yellow gold.

He bites his lip and focuses on your bodies and how you can barely get the word ‘daddy’ out coherently, mumbling dadd-da-daddy-dad unintelligibly. He does you a kindness and presses a hand down where your smaller one is, and thrusts hashly, loving the way you clench around him as you finally reach a second peak. The vice grip your pussy has on his cock is enough to push him over the edge as well, spilling another load into you and your eyes flutter shut.

Mingyu doesn’t pull out of you but sets your legs down and massages the insides of your thighs because he knows you’ll complain about them tomorrow.

He slips off his medal and sets it on the bedside table next to your phones.

After arranging your bodies to be more comfortable, he presses soft kisses on your ear and into your hair, chuckling slightly as you mumble in your sleep that it tickles.

Mingyu can’t help but keep that smile even as he settles down. It feels so good to be a winner.

-`✮´- if you've come this far, thank you and it'd mean the world to get a reblog or to hear your thoughts on my first fic on here!

#frizzy fiction #seventeen smut #svt smut #mingyu smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #au: man of the match

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ms-demeanor · 10 months

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So Large Bastard went into the hospital for transplant evaluation on February 13th 2021 and that was one of the major peaks of covid and basically we dropped him off at the hospital and that was it; nobody was allowed to visit him or see him and they pretty much immediately implanted a pump in his shoulder that made it painful and difficult for him to use the phone. At that point the message we were getting was "either he'll qualify for a transplant and you'll see him again when he is released after the transplant (and the waitlist, and the surgery, and the recovery) or we'll allow you to visit him when he's dying OR he won't qualify for transplant and we'll provide his end of life care and we'll allow you to visit him when he's dying" and on like February 16th, before we knew if he'd qualify for a transplant, I got a call from the hospital saying they were putting him on a heart/lung bypass machine because the pump they'd implanted in his shoulder and the pump they'd implanted in his heart weren't doing enough (both are designed to pump blood through about six feet of human, not through about seven feet of human, so they needed a much larger external pump). They asked me if I approved this procedure because he was kind of out of it, and held the phone up to him so I could ask him if he wanted this and say goodbye - I didn't know if that was goodbye until he got woken up by the doctors after stabilizing, or goodbye until he got approved for a transplant, or goodbye until he didn't get approved for a transplant and they'd take him off the machine to say goodbye for real if they couldn't keep him alive any longer.

And then they hung up the phone and I sat at my desk and stared at my computer and went back to work because literally what the hell else could I do? I couldn't drive to the hospital, I couldn't anxiously wait to see if the doctor would come out and tell me the machine had stabilized him. They said they'd call me in three hours with an update. So I took some orders and placed some calls and responded very politely to emails until I got off the clock at 5:30.

I had texted one of Large Bastard's friends who I'd been calling a lot and asked if we could meet up so I could explain what was going on so he could pass that info on to their radio nerd club. We were meeting up in the parking lot of an ihop because it was an easy outdoor location to describe to him when I wasn't actually capable of processing things like "addresses" or "street names" and I drove over to the ihop and at the red light for the left turn to go into the parking lot I fucking lost it. Like. I don't do the "hysterical crying" thing often but when I do, boy do I. I was in my truck with the windows rolled up and music on and I was sobbing so hard that it shook the truck and the crying was audible from outside the car.

I know it was audible from outside the car because a homeless man came up to my window and knocked and when I rolled the window down he told me "you're okay girl, you got this, it's gonna be alright" and I kind of nodded at him and sobbed at him and waved at him as he kept crossing the street and my light changed and I turned into the parking lot.

By the time my friend got there I had calmed down and stopped crying and through the entire rest of the process I never lost it in quite the same way; they took Large Bastard off the lung bypass part of the machine a day later and he was awake when they approved him for the transplant list, and a few days after that they started allowing a single, masked, socially distanced family member to start visiting patients in the transplant ICU for two hours a day, so I was able to come see him and he immediately said "look I have abs" and pulled his gown aside to show me that he'd lost so much weight as his body tried to eat itself to stay alive that he did, in fact, have an eight pack. And we laughed about it. It was uphill from there. It was never as hard for me as it was in the few hours after that phone call.

And in those few hours there was one dude who happened to be walking by who was kind enough to try to offer comfort to a complete stranger and I think about him all the time.

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puckinghischier · 5 months

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Nervous

Jack Hughes x fem!reader, smitten!Jack

summary: request for jack and reader on their wedding day

notes: this is my first time writing anything for jack and i literally had so much fun with it. i hope you guys like it 😌

[2.6k]

Jack had never been this nervous before. Not during nationals games, not on his draft day, not on the night of his rookie debut, and not in any circumstance that he can remember. Ever. He’s not usually the type to dwell on feelings of nerves, trusting his skill and his ability to focus on the task at hand to get the job done.

Today, though, is the most nerve-wracking day of his life. It’s his wedding day, for crying out loud. The day he gets to marry the girl that has been there for every major event of his life. The girl that has never missed a Devils home game. The girl that he’s pretty sure his family loves more than him. The girl that has stuck by him through every hardship and crazy hockey season so far. His girl. The girl he gets to make his wife.

Hell, he wasn’t even this nervous when he asked you to marry him. He recalls the day as if it happened mere hours ago, not a year and a half earlier.

“Jack, where are we going? I thought you said you had an event with the team tonight? You’re going to be late,” you ask, noticing you’re driving further and further away from the city.

You had been doing laundry, trying to get ahead on some chores you had been neglecting, when Jack had come into the living room and told you to put your shoes on, he wanted to take you somewhere. You had asked him where, and if you needed to change, but he simply shook his head no and told you it was a surprise. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Jack. You just assumed he found a new ice cream place he thought you would love, or some quaint little coffee shop he knew you’d like.

You didn’t think anything of it until you found yourself watching the city disappear into the distance almost forty-five minutes later, no destination in sight.

“We’re almost there, darling. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” is all he said, taking his eyes off the road for only a moment to flash one of his soft smiles in your direction before continuing to drive.

You sit in the comfortable silence, a slow country ballad playing softly on the radio. Jack’s hand resting on your thigh adding a much-needed warmth to your body, not having grabbed a jacket before he dragged you out of your shared apartment. You watch the road around you become surrounded by trees, admiring the greenery that seems so hard to come by in the city.

Before you realize it, too lost in your own thoughts, Jack is turning off of the paved road you were traveling onto a dirt road, clouds of dust billowing behind the car. You lean forward a bit, trying to take in the scenery to find any sort of clue as to where you were. You’re just about to ask where he’s taking you, yet again, when you see the most beautiful scene appear through the windshield.

At the end of the road stood a large red barn, aged in all the right ways. The red was slightly faded, showcasing the years of sun damage and there were pieces of the shingled roof missing, lost in the wind who knows how long ago. Off to the left of the barn was a large area surrounded by a wooden fence, a few horses grazing on the bright green grass. The sun was just beginning to set, causing one side of the barn to be coated in golden sunlight, the other side blanketed in a shadow. As Jack turned the car to enter the field where the barn sat, you noticed the obscene number of lights strung high into the trees covered by the shadow of the barn, giving the effect that little drops of sunlight were dripping from the limbs.

“Jack…what- where are we?” You ask him, disbelief lacing your tone.

“Just a little place I stumbled across with Luke one day. We were out for a drive, just wanting out of the city for a few hours. Found this place and instantly thought of you. Knew I had to bring you here,” he reveals, parking the car and turning off the engine.

Jack opens his door to get out of the car and quickly moves to open yours, taking your hand while leading the two of you over to the forest of lights. You’re so busy looking up at the sight in the trees that you miss the large, wooden arch set up in the middle of the two biggest trees in the mini forest. There were a few hay-bales on each side of the arch, large bouquets of white daisies placed all over the bales, with some even bunched around the top corners of the square arch.

Once you take in the scene in front of you, you turn your head to look at Jack, finding his eyes already on you.

“Jack, you have about three seconds to tell me what’s going on here,” you calmly tell him, even though your stomach felt like it was doing summersaults.

“I told you, I wanted to show this place to you. Thought you’d like it.” His lips curled into an amused smile once he noticed the glare on your face, knowing you were calling his bluff.

“I wanted to show you this place, because I knew you’d like it. Because I know you. How lucky I am to know you,” he begins, slowly moving you forward until you’re standing directly in front of the arch.

“How lucky I am that I’m the person you chose to trust with your heart. How lucky I am to be able to come home to you after a hard day. How lucky I am to be the recipient of your kindness and your love. How lucky I am to bask in your happiness and your spirit day after day. How lucky I am that you put up with the crazy world I live in, and do it without complaint.”

Your hands were starting to shake at this point, eyes watering.

“What I did to deserve all of this, I’ll never know. But I know I’ll never take it for granted. I’ll never take you for granted. And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend every day of the rest of our lives telling you how thankful I am to whatever celestial being lead me to you,” Jack pauses, dropping to his knee and fishing around in his pocket for the velvet box he’s had hidden in a pair of old skates in the closet for months.

“You are pure sunshine, shining light on every single person you meet. Y/N Y/L/N, please, let me live the rest of my life sunburnt. Marry Me.”

That was the easy part. Asking you to marry him was the quickest and easiest decision Jack had ever made in his life. He hadn’t thought twice when he called Luke on a random Thursday afternoon, telling him he needed to help him run some “errands”, driving to the nearest jeweler as soon as Luke sat in his passengers seat. Didn’t even hesitate when he called your best friend, asking if you had ever talked about what your favorite diamond cut was. Not a nerve in sight when he flew out to meet your parents to ask for their blessing two months before proposing, claiming he was just making a quick trip to visit some friends.

So why? Why was he so nervous today? He’s been looking at himself in the mirror for twenty minutes now, worried that his bow tie is crooked, or that his hair looks too messy. He didn’t know why he was so focused on his appearance. You’ve seen him at his worst. You’ve been there to take care of him after far too many drinks on a night out celebrating a win, hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, head buried in the closest toilet. You’ve seen him after a brutal game, face red from exertion and weird imprints all over his body from his gear. You’ve seen him when he broke down after his first loss during his rookie year, putting all the blame on himself, holding him in your arms as he sobbed in your kitchen.

He knew you didn’t care if a few hairs were out of place, or if his tie was a centimeter too far to the left. But he did. He cared, because this was the most important day of his life, and you deserved for him to look his best. You deserved for him to make sure everything was perfect.

Jack is pulled from his thoughts by a knock at the door, Luke and Quinn making their way into the room.

“Ready, Rowdy?” Quinn asks, going to stand behind Jack in the mirror.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jack responds, turning to look at his two brothers, forcing a smile that’s supposed hide all of his nervous emotions.

“Are you sure? Why do you look like you’re about to vomit, then?”

“I don’t? Do I? Oh god, what if she thinks there’s something wrong when she sees me? How do I make myself look like I’m not gonna hurl all over her dress. Luke, do I really look like I’m gonna blow chunks?” Jack frantically asks, looking between the two brothers, turning back around to look at himself in the mirror once again.

“Jack, breathe, man. You look fine. Luke was just being Luke. He doesn’t look like he’s going to vomit, right, Luke?” Quinn attempts to calm Jack, glaring at Luke.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean it. Sorry, Jack. You look fine. She’s probably gonna want to jump your bones or some shit. You look great.” Luke blurts, trying to not only escape the wrath of his eldest brother, but to keep Jack from actually vomiting.

“Okay, not what I meant but whatever works, I guess.” Quinn sighs, placing his hands on Jack’s shoulders to turn him back around.

“Listen, everything’s going to be fine. We just went to see Y/N, she’s nervous just like you are. I don’t know why, you’re both so painfully obvious with how much you love each other. There’s nothing for you to worry about. She loves you, man. More than I’ve seen someone love another person. As long as you’re standing there waiting on her at the end of the aisle, you could be covered in dog shit for all she cares. She just wants to see you. She just wants to marry you.”

Jack stares at his older brother, letting the words sink in. His thoughts drift to you, only three doors down, standing in your dress looking into the mirror just like he is, freaking out over things that don’t truly matter to him. He thinks about how you could walk down the aisle, hair un-brushed, pajamas still on, slippers on your feet and he would still be ecstatic to see you.

“You’re right, Q. Of course you’re right. I knew I chose you to be my best man for a reason,” Jack chuckles, feeling his nerves settle a bit.

“I know I’m right. I know you. And I know Y/N. As long as the two of you leave here today with the same last name, everything else could go wrong and you would still be the happiest couple I know,” Quinn removes his hands from Jack’s shoulders.

“But, nothing is going to go wrong, because Mom has been out there running around like a madwoman to make sure everything is in place. The only thing left is to make sure you get to the altar. Which is what we were sent here to do,” Luke chimes in, trying to assure his brother one last time.

“Alright. Yeah. I guess it’s time, huh?”

“It’s time, Rowdy. And it’s been a long time coming.” Quinn pats Jack on the back, the three brothers making their way towards the door that was left open.

Jack smiles at his brother’s statement, knowing you’re just as much a part of his brother’s lives as you are his. You watch every single one of Quinn’s hockey games (as long as he’s not playing at the same time as Jack and Luke) and scream loud enough for the neighbors to complain. You were there at Jack’s side for Luke’s draft day, just as proud, if not more, of the youngest Hughes. You always invite Luke over for a post-game dinner, knowing how tired he is after games and wanting to make sure he gets a meal before he goes home and claims he’s too tired to eat. He knows you hold a special place in his mom’s heart, too. Her claim that you’re the daughter she never had proving to be true through this whole process, knowing she’s been involved in every step of this wedding right along side your mom and yourself.

Before Jack knows it, the ceremony is beginning and he’s being given the signal to make his way to the altar, standing next to his groomsmen as he waits for you to walk through those doors.

As he looks out over the crowd, he finds himself growing nervous once again. Did he put on enough cologne? Did he bring the right kind? What if he wasn’t wearing the one you told him was your favorite? Did he brush his teeth? What if he kisses you for the first time as your husband and his breath tastes like the burger he had for lunch? Oh god, what if you don’t want to kiss him because he has burger breath?

Quinn can sense the nervous energy radiating off of his brother once again. He places his hand on Jack’s back, giving him a few pats to let him know he’s right there next to him. That everything’s going to be okay.

Jack looks over at his brother only briefly before he hears the unmistakable tune of “In Case You Didn’t Know” by Brett Young start playing through the speakers. It’s Jack’s song for you. He plays it all the time when you’re in the car together, not even trying to be subtle. He loves to send it to you when he’s on the road, letting you know he’s thinking about you. There was absolutely no question in your mind as to what song you were going to choose when your mom asked what you wanted to walk down the aisle to.

He snaps his attention to the double doors that open at the other end of the large room. His stomach is in knots, really hoping he doesn’t actually look like he’s about to puke, because he sure feels like it right now.

As he watches the first flash of white make an appearance in the doorway, he knows he’s a goner.

You step into his full view, hand wrapped around your father’s arm, looking around at the various guests for only a split second before your eyes meet his. Jack swears, all time stops in that second. He can barely see through the tears that well in his eyes, completely in awe of you. You match his gaze, forcing yourself to keep the tears from dropping, not wanting to have mascara streaks running down your face before you even get to the altar.

The two of you simply stare at one another for what seems like an eternity. An unspoken declaration of love passed between one another in a simple glance. Your father having to tug on your arm slightly, forcing you to step forward, too lost in Jack for you to remember where you were and what was currently taking place.

As you start to walk down the aisle, every step bringing you towards Jack, towards the rest of your life with him, the feeling of calmness washes over his body. You’re here. You’re his. And you’re everything he has ever wanted and more. It’s in this moment, watching the rest of his life walk towards him, smile on her face, a single tear slipping down her cheek, Jack Hughes has never been less nervous in his life.

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wilwheaton · 1 year

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When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.

This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.

I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.

I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.

A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.

I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.

I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.

To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.

But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.

After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.

River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.

I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.

At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).

I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.

My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.

It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.

Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)

But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.

Okay. Back to The Curse.

This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.

One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.

No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”

It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.

I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.

It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).

So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.

My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.

Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.

My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.

The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?

My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.

My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.

Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.

She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.

Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.

But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.

There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.

I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.

I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.

This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.

As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.

Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.

There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).

Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.

#tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw exploitation #child actor #still just a geek #lucio fulci #trauma survivor #speaking up for the child who was silenced by his abusers

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seraphdreams · 2 years

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DREAMIN' — underground racing miniseries.

“being a pretty flag girl is more than waving around banners and wearing cute skirts.”

WARNINGS. this series contains an ungodly amount of smut. reader discretion is advised. topics explored are: gangbanging, drugs, gang activities, semi-dark content, weapons, dub/noncon. each fic will be tagged with its own warnings. 18+ only.

NOTE. finally putting out this series that i’ve been thinking about for a while now. i hope you all enjoy it. each fic is inspired by a song so listen to them!

— STARTING LINE UP.

PART I — NO PHOTOS.

SHIBUYA CITY CHAMPION, BAJI KEISUKE GOES HEAD TO HEAD WITH KAZUTORA HANEMIYA.

PART II — BLINDING LIGHTS.

BRAHMAN’S PRINCESS RACES AGAINST BONTEN’S MASTERMIND, MANJIROU SANO.

PART III — P POWER.

DRAKEN V. HANMA SHUJI.

PART IV — TASTE.

IZANA KUROKAWA FLIES ALL THE WAY FROM MANILA TO RACE AGAINST BEST FRIEND, KAKUCHO HITTO!

PART V — TO BE ANNOUNCED.

Bonten had somewhat of a ritual. It wasn’t anything too crazy like pentagrams or summoning the dead relatives of their victims, but something that made them, them. It was the driving force of all their operations, the sole source that kept the organization afloat. When things went awry they knew they could always count on this one thing, something minor yet major.

Money.

Money granted them connections to criminal organizations around the world. Allies established, and enemies gained. The issue here was that Bonten was bored. All the money in the world couldn’t snatch them from their odd day to day realities of being glorified hitmen, they needed excitement. Something new.

“Any ideas?” All 8 of the men sat around the large lacquered oak table with a particular noble at the forefront. He wore a black suit with a white tie that complimented the strands atop his head. His gaze was empty, as if the light had died out ages ago. There’s two standing beside him, one with a blond skunk strip and slick back hair, the other with the same style except it was platinum all around and a short beard adorned the lower half of his face.

If you didn’t know them, you’d steer clear—They looked intimidating, terrifying almost. You knew Bonten too well though; under all that hardened criminalism were just regular salarymen.

You stood next to where Koko sat. A snarky young man with low patience. It’s hard for you to get under his skin like the others do, and though he’d never admit it, he did have a thing for his little assistant. “We already do so much, I doubt taking on other projects would benefit us financially.” Koko retorts to Mikey’s query. His hands are folded under his chin, propping his head up as if he was bored of the conversation that only lasted two minutes so far.

“Look at you only thinkin’ ‘bout a quick buck. Ya never change, do ya?” It was Sanzu who spoke. Eccentric as he is, when Mikey was in the room he was loyal like a dog. He was one of the many variables that contributed to Kokonoi’s premature graying. Never have they ever gotten along.

“It’s not always about profit. We could expand territory and utilize it for something bigger like weapon trade, or women.” The eldest Haitani spoke. You favored something about him, possibly the eyes or his charismatic nature. He was a caring soul as well, he put his brother above his own life whether Rindou liked it or not. “Bouncing off Ran’s idea, what about Okinawa?” Kakucho uttered.

Usually you tuned out business talk, it wasn’t important to your job. All you were paid to do was look pretty and occasionally pass out paperwork, but the topic at hand piqued your interest. Hitto continues, “We own land in Okinawa, we could build another headquarters there, a casino maybe?”

It seemed as though Manjiro finally took his children into consideration, nodding along with the conversation. “A casino is for idiots, let’s do underground racing.” Sanzu adds. There’s silence and judgmental stares before Mikey finally allows himself to speak once more. “I like it.”

“You can’t be serious, Boss?” Takeomi asks from his spot behind. “How can we even—”

It’s Hajime who interjects this time, the wheels seemingly turning in his head. “If we combine both Hitto and his idea, we could host bets and call in racers. I’m thinking motorcycles over cars. We can’t risk importing illegal vehicles overseas.”

That was just it. The very proposal that’ll put words to action. With a seance of agreeances, Mikey turns to Rindou for finalization. “Make it happen, Haitani.” Rin nods before taking a quick glance at you and back to his leader. “A flag girl’ll be nice too, preferably a hot bimbo.”

You were too fixated on checking your fresh manicure to feel the stares of all the men burning into your frame. The clearing of Kakucho’s throat pulls you from your focus and you finally make the realization. “Hm?”

Mikey tunes his attention back to Rindou, the one notorious for his connections with about any and everyone. “Call up your best racers and fly them to Okinawa. Set up a hotel and headquarters while you’re at it. Let’s take a little business trip.”

With the meeting adjourned, the plan sets in motion.

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fluorynn · 8 months

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-`♡´- 🪼 — 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

-`♡´- 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : jake sully ✘ fem!reader ✘ neytiri

-`♡´- 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : Love is one you never thought to experience after leaving your vanishing planet, and soon you’d be departing from existence. But that didn’t mean you didn’t want it, and it seems your wants were heard because here you were, on a rare, beautiful planet, with not one but two lovers who bathed you with love endlessly.

Jake Sully; the one who found your figure far more pretty and angelic than any other human in earth, a blunt, impetuous, stupidly beautiful man, adapted into one of the people, Toruk Makto, Olo’eyktan, who had and took his second chance in starting a new life with you and the Omatikaya people’s daughter, Neytiri.

Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite; bold, fierce, unyielding, devastatingly gorgeous, found surprise in tolerating a simple human’s presence. deeply intrigued to know you, a simple human without an avatar. That intrigue morphed into never ending adoration when she discovered you’re not just some simple person, but you’re hers and his person, beautiful and unique in their eyes.

Seykxel txe’lan, ‘strong heart’, one of the first words she had said to Jake. The phrase becoming the first in the start of the original Sullys’ fortress; Jake, Neytiri, and you. It becomes a reassurance and affectionate name she only utters while Jake’s becomes, “This right here, is a fortress. One without the other is just bound to fall apart, and I don’t ever want to experience that again without my girls.”

You knew your departure was bound to come, but the more happiness and love you were surrounded with, the more it seemed it wasn’t bound to happen anytime soon because once you hit Pandora’s atmosphere, your sickness seemed to have …faded away. Doctor Grace Augustine, a good friend she became to you, wasted no time in trying to figure out what seemed to be the change, especially when one day out in Pandora’s nature that they’d unexpectedly discovered you could breathe in the same air it contained without having to wear a breathing mask. Her curious examination in trying to discover what had caused the sudden flee of your sickness was cut short after her passing, the answer unknown to you all.

You thought as long as you were out of danger, as long as you had them both, you’d be okay. You experienced love, but now you find yourself yearning for more of it — an experience to carry life that embodies Jake's, and Neytiri’s love for you. It is risky, of course, with you being human in a planet unknown to your kind’s pregnancy. Especially with the flaws of your heart, but you’d already tested the limits the moment you agreed to study this planet. And who are they to deny you? They, along with the scientists that stayed behind with the forest people, and tsahik try to make this possible for you, though your heart inhibited this, and it seems your lovers felt the same.

-`♡´- 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 46.8k+ ( I got ahead of myself—)

-`♡´- 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 / 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 : fluff, evolves MAJOR!angst, handful of emotional parts within this, implied smut though not entirely, mentions of blood, miscarriages, sick!reader, pregnant!reader, health issues, doctor talk, flashbacks, MAJOR!character death Jake having a potty mouth, both love reader so much, like love LOVES her so much, baby!Neteyam and Kiri love their mamas so much!! neglecting infant / child, TWINS, bittersweet moments, angst-y bittersweet ending

-`♡´- 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 :@peachycrime @tsukicores @cazadordetitanes @xstargayzer @sleepgod182 @skeletondeerart @emmaveale123 @spadezrazz @szaontop @rainbowcake1212 @unicornicopia1 @top-crop @innercreationflower @agathaharknessfan96

-`♡´- 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐲 : @cafekitsune !!!

-`♡´- a’s note : okay so, bare with me. We’re going to take a journey within this being practically a dissertation!! I recommend a snack and tissues. There’s going to be a handful of flashbacks — from Jake and reader’s first meeting, their second meeting, and then their meeting with Neytiri. I debated on making this a mini series considering how there’s quite a few different sceneries added in this story. I’m going to be blunt, I tried and put my all into this so please, please comment your thoughts, and reblog if you’d like please!!! I truly hope you enjoy this !!

A deep inhale consumed Jake’s lungs, carefully laying his long frame beside your small lathered body to bask in the sight of your bareness beneath the Tree of Souls’ neon glow. On your other side was Neytiri, the azure complexions of her skin bathed with damp as well, a gentle twitch upon his mouth at seeing her nuzzle against you, her movements tender and delicate. The night’s breeze was cooler than previous nights, but it gifted him with the essence combined from the three of you. He attuned to the concept of making love to you both, the sky’s deep blue vastness witnessing and the creatures listening.

“Fuck them animals, alright? My only focus is you and you only.” He’d breathe out while his canines delivered a rather sensual gnaw to the flesh of Neytiri’s thigh while his hand stroked his other wife’s skin. It was comical how’d the Na’vi before him hissed at him through her blissful facade, scolding her husband for his impudence towards the creation of Eywa, but he simply snickers along while you try containing your own amusement and feignedly glared at him, cooing at your feisty wife in hopes to simmer her down.

Observing the proud outcomes from his physical doing produced a sense of satisfaction in him, no guilt or shame following so because well, why would it ? These are his mates, his girls, and as long as there’s no harm in what he does he’s damn proud to have done so.

Dilated gleaming eyes filled with fondness at the sight of you, and there’s no hesitance in his love for you both, but even he knows Neytiri agrees that the sight of you stirs something in them when your much smaller frame is encased between their larger ones. It was more perceptible to see the pleasing splotches depicted across your delicate, clear flesh. It was more mesmerizing to witness how breathless you were, both staring at you in astonishment at how good you did.

“ngaru lu fpom srak?” ( are you well? ) you recognized the stroke of concern in their golden irises, the emotion relevant and always known towards you, and it always ignited your perspired skin on fire the more they both stared at the exact same time. A soft nod is all it takes to thaw their worries away, Jake reaching to hold you close while Neytiri takes part in staring. It still flusters you as if it’s the first time; his impassioned touches, her ardent gaze, everything they do is just solely them, they’d practically perfected not only doing the simplest of acts but having you feel them deep within. The softness in Neytiri’s eyes scrutinizes your entrails in the most profound manner, absorbing everything you were in this very moment, and everything you desired to be. You enjoyed when she did this, studying you radically, never deficient in its ferocity.

And Jake … well where to begin with him when he touches you? He’s one to display physical affection, no matter the surroundings, no matter his title. He provided you with the heat you craved, the protection you needed; the fulfillment of touching you was something he always took advantage of doing, loving how the wide expanses of his palms splayed across the petite length of any part of your body, letting his long fingers curl around the warm skin with as much delicacy as he could muster. The ability to touch you stirred the poor man though; in the way his tail swayed in anticipation, his heart thumping fervently, his ears flickering with every breathy sound you gifted him with, pupils blown out at the view. It swelled tenfold when his intimate touches enveloped you whole, burning every ounce of flesh upon you in the most exhilarating way.

He knew, they both knew this, and they carry no hesitancy while basking in their affects to decompose you so.

“Why do you two do this to me?” A soft giggle rose from you, failing to keep still between them while being practically tortured from their overwhelming acts, and Jake grinned deliberately at this while Neytiri’s warm laughter met your ears. A heartily sound she accommodated for her mates alone, only ever letting herself go when in your presence. A faculty of a dream it was to you — to be marveled at by two angelic like creatures, and yet it hits you that this is your reality.

Neytiri’s smile formed a soft pucker, pressing against your glistening temple. “There is a problem with staring at you, lovely girl?” Your head shook in response, a hum rumbling up your throat in hence of Jake’s fingers ascending up your bare side, winding around your hip to pull you out of Neytiri’s grasp.

Spectrums of gold and green glitter those honed eyes of his, emphasizing the mirth and happiness he was feeling in that moment. “Then we do this because we enjoy it, angel.” The nickname angel was something he’d grown fond of calling you, defending his claim on the word by saying, “well, what can I say? I thought you were like an Angel to me the second we first met. That’s so wrong for me to think you're that pretty?” it earned him a full on laugh and a playful smack across his stomach. He didn’t mind, and you didn’t pry him to stop calling you that. It sounded nice, the way it descended from his lips.

While he practically had you splayed over his body, Neytiri had slid even closer to you both, her kisses continued meeting your temple, used to the way she’d always do it when it was the only patch of skin unveiled from the exomask you’d been required to wear before. When the revelation of you no longer needing that mask, Dr. Grace Augustine had you wear it still to see if it would affect you in some sort of way and just in case you reacted badly to being without it, and you wore it for a few months before she realized you didn’t need it anymore. You find it amusing how they forget they now have full access to your bare face now, the feeling growing when they waste no time in touching you there, puncturing each of your features with firm kisses like how Neytiri was doing now as she discreetly turned you away from Jake.

“Hey, quit stealing her from me.” Your laughter met Neytiri’s mouth, your line of vision being greeted with the smile he gave her. He shifted onto his side, arm falling around her waist and tugged you both flush against him.

Her head turned away from you and towards him. “You stole her first.” Her glaring expression made him chuckle, and you watched as he leaned his forehead into hers, the surface of their noses meeting gently. “Truce.”

You smile softly and rest your chin down on Jake’s chest, your eyes following the movements of his ears twitching from the breath delivered from her parted lips. It’s truly a moment to witness when he folds upon both your presence. The way he gives in at times, practically liquifying in your palms with the sensations he feels from them.

His arm suddenly tightened around you both, very careful in pressing your body into Neytiri’s front in awareness of her toned belly, in awareness that perhaps another would fill her womb. You faced her, “You’re okay?” She huffed out a chuckle and laid a palm over your cheek. “I do not think anything bad will happen, ma Y/N. And we have participated in other activities and this is what you worry about?”

Jake’s and your shoulder lifted in unison, “yes?” A kiss was delivered to his cheek, and he passed it on to yours. “ it wouldn't be wrong to think that you should have one?”

Jake’s words, and their consonants alike, seemed to have knocked the wind out from your lungs as you gaped between him and Neytiri in shocking disbelief. “One as i-in a child?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Your eyes widened. You had even felt every muscle in Neytiri’s body tense against you, the new knowledge surprising you both. It has been 3 months since she gave birth to the firstborn, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. A healthy hearted, full and beautiful baby boy every one of you fell in love with the moment he came to view.

“You'd like to hold our baby boy, angel?” Jake had spoken, a shocked smile upon his lips at the sight of his firstborn squirming in his hold. You’d wasted no hesitation in reaching out, his stubby body perhaps being the size of a human toddler when he was handed to you. He was hefty to carry, yes, but it had been worth it for the second he gazed at you with those round eyes and his little fingers twined around the length of yours, something ignited within you.

During the months of her pregnancy, it had generated a newfound interest in your heart when you learned from the Tsahik what occurs during a Na’vi’s gestation process. And then, to everyone’s shock, your dear friend’s avatar, Grace Augustine had been impregnated, a beautiful baby girl adopted by the three of you, named Kiri te Suli Kìreysì'ite. Precious and pure she was, and somehow she formed a great attachment with you. There it was again, that pure desire to bore.

Even before, subtly bringing up the topic of babies from time to time. The desk in your former tiny room of the old RDA having infant books sprawled across its surface, an old memory book you happened to bring along opened to the parts of your own infancy.

“Imagine holding one just the size of your palm, Tiri? Right, they're smaller than Na’vi babies, Jake?” You had squealed, a bright smile stretched across your face when Jake’s head had popped into your room. He’d only chuckle softly and nod before telling you both to accompany him back to the village while Neytiri sighed and you pouted cutely.

While both had been very cautious about you residing in Pandora after the war, Jake had been more apprehensive than hers, being a far more palpable thing. It’d been present in every decision made, in arguments that sometimes didn’t include you yet were about you between him and Neytiri whenever the topic of amplifying your family beyond Neteyam, you, Neytiri and himself.

“Ma Jake, if this is what she desires, do you not think we should grant her this?” She’d insist, her heart deeply aware of your longing for motherhood. “We don’t know if her health will falter its improvement—”

“Exactly, we don’t know. No human has ever been pregnant here, let alone one that’s not healthy. Grace couldn’t finish checking her, and I don’t wanna risk it. I — we can’t risk her, Neytiri. ”

His perturbation wasn’t unconscionable to her, though. She had heard from him, from Norm, and partially from Grace of your well established dreams to carry and birth life, and it was fully supported by her; she understood your yearning, and yet she also understood the residence of her husband’s focus where the complications that could assist pregnancy.

They both were debating whether or not to possibly ask the scientists that had stayed behind with them if they’d be willing to help, but she’d been more hesitant in that apartment because she didn’t have full trust with human technology. Denying you was something they never enjoyed doing, and she wasn’t fond of it either, but she had to agree with Jake that they couldn’t imperil your health.

“Just promise me you won’t … try motivating this. Neteyam and Kiri are enough for us, for her.”

“And who are we to decide for her ! and what if she takes it in a different way–”

“Neytiri. I’m not saying to talk badly of it, but don’t push it, please.”

She doesn’t understand fully, how he manages to cautiously creep around the subject and she sees how it vexes you how leading her to feel the same, especially when you both were mindfully aware more additions to your family was something he wished for as well. Apprehensive of your wellbeing incited his impedance, and despite her wanting whatever it is you wished for, Jake knew she had resistance in her motives as well due to the loss of her sempul and her home. Grief was something he hadn’t been able to process thoroughly for there’d been war, there’d been choices that postponed him from feeling it, but now the probability of experiencing it and the reason being of your loss was one they both weren’t fond of.

You understood them and their reasons, which is why his words jolted through you. It wasn’t common for either of them to lead the topic of a child– because it was always you who brought it to the surface.

“What’re you two up to? This better not be some joke.” You glowered at him, then her, then him again. The edges of Jake’s eyes had channeled from his smile, watching as Neytiri’s perplexed face turned a bit … gentle. Irritation fueled in you at the silent conversation floating between their gazes, words whispered in each other’s minds and you wished right there and then to smack Jake just because.

“Forget what I said–” is what sat at the tip of his tongue but his wife’s look of injunction spoke otherwise, and he inwardly collected his words as she took lead, having a slight understanding of what he meant. “We are up to nothing, my love. We know this is something you’ve dreamed of for a long time and we want all your dreams to come true.” They both wore a smile, Jake’s more broadened than her petite one. You stared longer at him though, because he’d been the one more shut off with this, and then at her. This wasn’t one of their ploys, not when they looked at you this way.

Neytiri’s effortless way in using her words to reassure you is something you’ve yet to grow used to. “H-how long have you been up to this?”

His laughter met your ears but was quick to suppress it when Neytiri’s glare –unknown to you– was shot his way. “Yes, Jake? About how long have we been thinking about this?” It was then you realized she hadn’t been informed of his plans, and you followed along with your own look of suspicion though not without giving her swift one as well.

He cleared his throat, propping his arm up so his cheek now rested over his palm and looked at you both. “Want my honesty?”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“…What she has said.”

“I didn’t really think about it. Not in a committed type of thing, well not before like how you two want to until … well a few minutes ago when we did the deed deed.”

Your brows rose and Neytiri’s mouth twisted. “ You mean to say when you happened to be inside of our Y/N?” A giggle was shared between you two women, and he had to hold back the eyeroll that was building up. “Okay, when you guys say it like that it just sounds like I’m some pervert–”

Your giggles erupted into full on laughter and it led Jake to groan loudly, flipping onto his stomach and buried his flushed face into his arms. “Look I just want another kid with you–Y’know what, I take it back–”

You looked up at Neytiri, releasing one more giggle before she pushed him onto his back. You smiled and crawled onto his abdomen, raising his jaw to look at you. “You’re adorable, y’know that, skxawng?” Humming, his hands carefully finding their niche over your hips. “Yeah, I kinda do.”

You laughed, gently kissing his lips before hunching over to repeat the same on Neytiri’s as she rested her cheek on his shoulder blade. Your weight slid down his torso until your head found solace in the beating within his chest, the hitched thumps his heart created, and your lips curled when Neytiri’s palm twined around yours and pressed it to her chest, being met with her own unnatural heartbeat reflecting his; irregular and thrilled they were as it always was after sex. And of course, so was yours, though slightly more steady. It was abnormal though, the difference your heart outdid anyone else’s, for that matter. Between them, you felt a hint of balance within you, for how can your heart not be fine when it pulses in sync with your mates?

“Tiri, love, what about you? You want us to have another baby?” You queried, deeply observing her and she nodded softly. The dark braids cascading down her shoulders fell to her back when she sat up, palms fully enveloping your face. The gleaming specks upon her cheekbones flickered much brighter under Pandora’s glow, accompanied by the tender curve her lush lips stroked. It’s unfair sometimes how breathtaking she is, enough to draw you close to tears, which apparently do so.

The pads of her thumbs lightly dabbed away crystalline–like tears that settled beneath your eyes. Her feline-like nose nuzzled against the bridge of yours, “Srane, tiyawn.” (yes, love.)

“A baby I’ll have.”

She nodded once more along with Jake. “A baby you’ll have.”

You glanced down at your lap, chewing on your lip. “Are you sure, you two? You both know how much I’ve been wanting this, how strong i feel about this—”

Jake’s mouth skimmed across yours, each of their hands cradling your cheeks. The contact startled you yet as instincts, you melted right into them. “ This is something you want, right?” You nodded, and he smiled, “Then who are we to deny you, baby? We want what you want.”

He nodded his head at Neytiri, and her palm fell from your cheek, expanding fully over your chest. “Your heart is twined with our own, seykxel txe’lan. We, with the will of Eywa, beat as one. Your desires are our desires.”

Jake’s lips curled over his teeth, baring them into a wide grin and led your hands to each of their chests. “So have a baby with us, angel. Yeah?”

Your smile was one brighter than anything Pandora had to offer, face carrying the whole definition of infinite happiness. “Yeah.”

His laughter reverberated throughout the night sky, hoisting himself up to encase you and Neytiri in the tightest and warmest of hugs. Her breathy laughter joined his, and your giggles followed along when Jake kissed you, hard. Before your eyes fluttered closed, you could see the toothy smile Neytiri portrayed, head tilting to the Tree of Souls and softly whispered, “Thank you, Great Mother.” before she joined the gentle assaults in kissing every part of your face while his lips stroked down your body; the curve of your jaw, the side of your neck, the length of your arms. The next thing you know, your back is firmly pressed into Neytiri’s chest while Jake’s mouth strode down the flesh of your tummy, an usher of praises filling your ears as his tongue found its destination between your doused essence once again. You didn’t retaliate from them, giving yourself to them as your fingers card through Jake’s long locs and nestled your face within the angle of Neytiri’s neck and your euphoric cries from the saccharine sensations of your mates consumed their senses as they demolished you, and each other, entirely.

Being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life wasn’t precisely what Jake intended for. He still wanted to live, wanted to be free in his abilities to do whatever he desired, though apparently being diagnosed with paraplegia can greatly affect one’s plans in life. There were debts he couldn’t afford to pay, such as the surgery that could perhaps mend his damaged spine. Damage caused by major conflicts and deployment to Venezuela while he was there as a Marine. Ex Marine. Tommy Sully, also known as Jake’s twin scientific brother, had tried convincing Jake in letting him guarantee enough money for the surgery so he could get back up on his feet.

“I’m not some kind of charity fund, Tom. Back off, I don’t want any of your geek money. Don’t expect me to start walking and give you a hug in excitement.”

“Will you let go of that damn soldier pride and just let me help you, moron?”

Jake refused, especially given the harsh nickname to which Tommy could only sigh to, thumb rubbing over his tight temple. “At least stay in this hospital during the time they tell you to.”

Wasting his life in a hospital — which happened to be connected to his twin brother for some reason— for 11 days wasn’t on the agenda either, and yet here he was, strolling through the stark hallways of this specialized hospital in hopes to find some kind of distraction from all that’s been happening. Joining the United States Marine Corps came with severe consequences, apparently.

An abundance of this building was not only a hospital but some kind of lab, Jake noticed, and it immediately clicked in his brain that Tommy had been one of the scientists upon these teams to construct this. He didn’t want to return to his room just yet and see Tommy standing there, asking him where the hell has he been, so he continued exploring various wings of the facility, a curiosity seeping through him at what his brother had been up to.

There were rooms in which patients were physically injured; prosthetics taking place of a retired soldier’s flesh arm and leg, another with a similar case of being paralyzed though this one was quadriplegia, and illnesses he didn’t have a familiarity with, and that once peeking curiosity was washed away by the waves of melancholy and distinguish. He’d admit he didn’t enjoy feeling this way at all, but it was expected considering the field Tommy had described working with. He could only smile so briefly at the patients that caught his gaze in hopes of some sense of comfort.

Jake’s hands were growing used to pushing the large wheels on each of his sides, trying to ignore the sting of soreness that came along with it while he rolled himself down different paths. He then found himself going through a children’s section, and it twisted something in him, frowning at the thought of them suffering through things that weren’t supposed to occur to them. While the world had evolved into something advanced, it was menacing as well due to the ones now in charge, shaping the world into something dimmer. These kids shouldn’t have to pay the price for that, he thought.

Then there was a ward of infants, and that warped a different sense that the other wards he had previously traveled through. A tiny sense of hope, tinged with sadness, resided in his chest. The chance of them surviving in this new world seemed no good, if anyone asked him. He really shouldn’t be there, thinking what would become of them. But he couldn’t help staying in front of and leaning into the glass window, chin jutting out and peering at the newborn babies behind it, and he couldn’t resist the smile crawling onto his face.

“You guys were born in the wrong time,” he whispered, words fogging the brim of the glass. “You need good caring.” A finger rose to it, its pad gently swiping over before lingering there for a moment, right beside where a baby’s gentle face came to view. Never was he one to desire children, and even if he did it seemed to come with difficulties now that he became paralyzed from the waist down. Still, it didn’t take away the astonishment he felt when looking at them.

Amongst his awe, a proximity of a presence grazed beside Jake, and accompanying this presence came a fragrance enriched with citrus-like and something floral. The combination was potent enough to tug his attention.

Jake’s gaze transferred from the babies up to the body of a young woman standing questionably close to him. They both were the only ones present in front of the window, and there was plenty of space for the both of them to stand a good amount apart. He knew he shouldn’t be one to talk, but he grew entertained at how she had to hitch up on the points of her toes to peer farther into the window, completely enchanted by each of the three rows of babbling infants and their soft squirming. She looked cute, if he was being honest.

Cyan eyes observed her: a gown colored stark white draped her form, similar to the one he wore, stopping just right below the ankles, and the ex marine smirked slightly at the long socks hugging her feet; mix-matched colors yet fuzzy enough to distract from the distinct coloring. The color of her hair was bold, brilliant and adorably disheveled. The complexion of her skin was a little pallid, but he could make out the warmness of her skin’s color, stealing the man’s air he once inhaled.

Jake had never seen eyes so wide, so alive. Those very eyes scanned the babies’ tiny writhing bodies that were carefully enveloped in blankets, an adoration and something he recognized as a want within them. The girl right before him, portrayed a beauty that was too fucking rare for this world. Too delicate, too angelic and pretty, as though she was created to astound. She astounded Jake, the satirical comment he had made earlier of walking out of excitement returning to his mind, thinking that it may actually come to life if he kept feeling this way and looking at her.

Every muscle in him halted movement, and despite the efforts to wrap his fingers around the wheels and push, his hands remained still over them, wheels steady over the gray flooring. Jake’s lips compressed into a thin line and his eyes continued watching the woman smile — that damn smile — and felt his heart practically leap out of his chest.

“I agree with what you said.” Her voice, soft and sweet, steady and spoken to him, chirped as she held onto the steel metal of an IV pole. Soft and sweet, a sound he’d never been used to hearing but now, he found himself absorbing it, clinging onto it.

His silence was terribly loud and thickening, and he blinked. Swallowed. Then repeated the action a few more times. Say something, dipshit. “Yeah?”

A light chuckle burned through his ears, rattling his heart. “Yeah. But you wanna know what makes it easier for them to get the care they deserve?”

What the hell were words anyway? Jake thought as he searched his brain for a response to her question. Her smile was full of mirth as she saw his reflection on the window, how his mouth moved then closed, then opted for a small nod.

“It’s easy to just fall in love with them at first glance. I mean, who’d deny these pure babies?” She questioned in disbelief, and if Jake was sure he wasn’t delusional about it, he saw how she scooted a bit closer, her forearm brushing his shoulder. “And I’m sure they love you immediately, and when you realize that they do, that this tiny human is capable of loving you and needs you, it isn’t hard to provide them with care and love.”

Jake bobbed his head once more, not sure how to respond to such words, simply staring at her stunned. Stunning was another thing that fit her, he was sure of it.

“That’s how life goes, yeah? Well, if life was with a bit more….simplicity that maybe it’s possible. Love could, and can be more simple. Am I right?” She didn’t once look towards Jake’s direction, her pretty face focused on these newborns she loved so much the entire time, and it surprised him how much love could build in such a short span of time. Then of course, he didn’t know her. Maybe she’d been here longer than he has, for all he could make out.

He muttered a small ‘yeah, you are’ with a jumbled up mind, trying to process each word, memorize every syllable uttered in them. He felt confused, unrecognizable to why he’s behaving in such a way. Well, he knew why; he was captivated by a pretty, very pretty angel’s presence. But this angel didn’t brush his presence off though because of his condition, she acknowledged him very ordinarily. Foreign was the sensation, and the precipitance of its arrival startled his nerves.

The woman finally turned, slightly dipping her head down and glanced at him briefly before looking back at the babies, and Jake noticed how the back of her hand pressed into his bicep. Weird but comforting it felt for him. He wanted that weirdness to last a bit more.

“Well, see ya.” Two words and she, along with her touch, was off. The only thing left of her in his atmosphere was the aroma she carried.

Jake found himself enjoying this, inhaling deeply while faintly smiling to himself, “See ya.”

She was long gone by now, but her affinity lingered there and in his mind. He returned to his room later that day and of course, Tommy had been there, Jake’s smile still noticeable, and his brother couldn’t help but raise a brow, “So now you like the hospital?”

He only smirked, leading himself to his lanky bed to avoid his flushed face from being seen as he recalled the angel who was the cause of it, “Loving it, actually.”

The morning after that night, Jake had awoken without mentioning it; gently shaking you and Neytiri awake, informing you both that you had to head back to the village and Neteyam and Kiri who had stayed with his grandmother. Neytiri, to your surprise, didn’t speak of it either. She did have a hinge of frustration in her eyes, but kept a soft smile nonetheless.

You did, however, catch them having one of their silent conversations over your head on the way back. Once you had arrived, Jake had gathered his firstborn in his arms while pecking his head, Neytiri cooing at him as he sported a gummy smile before extending his arms out towards her. And Kiri, she was entirely focused on you while Mo’at held her, stretching her little arms your way. The moment you carried her with a wide smile, you caught the glimpse of their expressions, Neytiri’s pointed stare while Jake’s stayed neutral though the tension radiated off him. Mo’at had still been present, her forehead creased at her daughter and son-in-law’s shifted behavior. The Tsahik glanced at you in question, and you gave a small eye roll to say, ‘ nothing major’ which she caught onto. She did have a particular idea of what was the reason towards this, but she wanted it to hear from you considering you are the main part of it.

The topic was neglected during your morning meal, with Jake tugging you out of your spot between them and onto his lap as always, and Kiri on your lap while Neytiri held Neteyam on her own, her free hand slipping through yours, as always, while you all dived into your food.

You watched them, longed for their words only to be proved useless when Jake settled you down and placed a quick kiss on each of your heads before attending to his duties as Olo’eyktan. And Neytiri … she didn’t even attempt to bring it up either. Simply either going on with other topics, asking you to assist her in duties, or doing a few of her tasks on her own, later on heading out after placing a soft kiss on your temple and leaving you with the babies in your arms.

His little fingers wrap around your pointer one, round amber eyes looking at it in wonder while his pure babbles floated as if speaking to you. “ you’re quite the talker for a newborn, aren’t you, baby boy?” You cooed, and this he stayed silent at before his baby talk grew louder and as he adjusted himself in an almost straight sitting position. It was normal, you'd have been told, for babies of Pandora to become more adapted after a few days of being birthed, it still astonished you every time you saw the two wide awake, heads turning fully and inspecting their surroundings. You glanced at Kiri, chuckling to see her chin dipping down when her hands found a firm grip around the handcrafted necklace Neytiri happened to woven, just for you. You stared at the two with a small smile, being so wrapped up in your wandering mind that you didn't even realize Mo’at had entered, approaching you and her grandchildren slowly.

“ Ma‘Ite, ‘upe lu tìsraw ngeyä?” ( daughter, what is the matter?) Mo’at crooned softly and your eyes snapped up. She’d taken part in calling you ‘daughter’ following the mournful events of her husband, of her home, and of the battle against the ‘Sky People’. She didn’t care if you were one of them, she valued the way you cared for her people, for her daughter, and you never expected becoming so close with their spiritual leader and be so favored by the people, yet that became your life.

“Nothing, Ma Tsahik.” You glanced down at the two, your legs criss-crossed as they both were supported by not just your arms but legs as well. You lightly moved your legs beneath the babies’ weight earning a tiny squeal from Kiri while Neteyam beamed. You smiled and lifted your head only to be greeted with her narrowing her eyes. “Do not contempt me with formality, child.”

Your head slightly dipped, “I’m sorry, ma sa’nok. ( mother ) I didn’t mean that I’m just…” you paused, chewing on your lower lip for a moment. “I’m just frustrated. And confused.” Mo’at now settled down beside you, hand falling to stroke the patch of dark hair upon Kiri’s head and she’s quick to look at her grandmother, smiling brightly before returning her attention to the accessories around your neck.

“About?” She pressed, a warm smile turning into one of concern and awareness from your silence. “Is it my daughter and Jake?”

You bobbed your head, blowing out a deep breath. “I’m married to two stubborn people.” A low hum left Mo’at, motioning for you to hand her Neteyam.

“I’m sorry,” you added, grunting when you lifted him up. “You are getting heavy, ‘Teyam.” You playfully glowered at him when he was in his grandmother’s arms, and he heaved out a soft giggle from the sensations your fingers created to his sides. “I don’t mean any offense towards Neytiri.”

Mo’at chuckled softly, propping him on her lap, “Do not apologize, while my daughter is smart, she can be very thick headed when she wants. And as for Jakesully… it is common for him to be that way. But I am a mother, Y/N,” She explained, face softening as she looked over Neteyam’s familiar features, then at Kiri’s. “I notice the small things, even with you. We may not be the same species or from the same world, but Eywa placed you in our people, my family, my care.”

“I have known you for a fair amount of time,” she continued. “What age were you when you first arrived?”

“19. Well, 5 years had passed, so 24.” She nodded in acknowledgment, “And now you are 4 and twenty, though physically you are around 9 and ten, correct?” You nodded, “Srane, ma sa’nok.” ( yes, mother ) She smiled triumphantly at her knowing, “ I have heard of this sickness of yours from Grace, how it has been with you throughout your entire life until you came here. Perhaps this is not what you want to hear, but if you think your mates are stubborn, then you have not been paying close attention.” She softly chastised.

“But, sa’nok, I do pay attention, believe me I do! I understand that they’re worried and—” you’re quick to be cut off by her firm tone of voice. “But at the same time, they do not have authority over what you wish to do, Y/N. If you want to bore children, and if they have already given you three the opportunity to try, then you have the right to confront them about it. Do you understand, ‘ite?”

A long finger tilted your chin up, and your mouth quirked at her words, nodding. “Irayo, ma sa’nok.” ( thank you, mother ) She returned your smile, head bowing. Your brows suddenly furrow, peering up at her in question. “How did you know—”

“Tsahik, child. Do not underestimate my role.” She quipped, a flicker of humor dancing in the very eyes your mate inherited. “Besides it is written quite clearly across their faces whenever they see you with the children.”

You laughed, “Fair enough.”

Her hands engulfed Neteyam’s sides, tugging him away from her garments that he found entertainment in fiddling with thanks to Kiri, and lifted the boy up. “Ah, look at you…” she murmured softly. “The eldest, and then there is you, ma Kiri,” The little girl stared up at her grandmother, ears twitching at the sound of her name. “…it would only be fair if you had some sort of company equal to your size, no?” Your cheeks flushed, smiling widely when they both turned towards you, almost impossibly knowing, and ‘Teyam extended his tiny arms your way.

“So you do wish to have children.” She didn’t need an answer for this, of course, for she was also one to know about your greatest wishes, and supported them greatly. Your eager nod was all it took for her smile to widen, bringing Neteyam back down and placed him on your lap while hoisting Kiri up. “Then it is decided.” Her hand cradled the side of your face in a maternal manner, “May Eywa bless you with your heart’s desires, and that she supports them, and you in every way that is possible.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Are you serious about this, ma Jake?” Is the first thing uttered by Neytiri the second they are out of your presence. Her voice tried containing firmness, though it lacked from the emotion and perplexity of her husband’s words, from his laid back demeanor when he first said them to the both of you the night before. It wasn’t common for her to not be able to observe his thoughts due to his facial expressions practically tattling them, but now he was awfully silent and too pensive for her likings.

“Jake!”

The tight grasp she gave his arm and the harsh yell of his name blinked him back to reality, turning towards her and is greeted with the mixture of emotions across her precious face; an unsteady balance of sadness and happiness that didn’t know which one to choose, whether for the outcomes or the fact that he’s actually finally approving of you birthing a child.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Her glabrous brows inclined and her eyes broadened in a manner that Jake knew very well meant an injunction to his plastered cluelessness. He unleashed a heavy breath and raised his hand to shove it through his thick locs, “Alright. You got me… I don't know why I said that.”

A smack, hard and full of pain, contacted the skin of his chest and it took everything in him to not subconsciously let out a cuss word in his rather feisty wife’s face. “W-why would you— Neytiri! S-stop smacking me and hear me out—”

“Kehe! ( no! ) You deserve this, how are you going to say you didn’t know why you say what you say, you skxawng!” Her hits met his forearms as they were held out in front of him, stumbling and trying to back away from her. “Okay, baby hold on, just hold on— Neytiri, okay y’know back on Earth there’s a phrase, ‘violence is not the damn answer’ ! Ever heard of it?”

A hiss seethed past her teeth, nose scrunching in distaste. “ Violence seems to be the only way you listen! Or maybe it just makes you more stupid!”

He was now trapped between the forest’s wide trees, he stayed still and her hitting halted for a brief moment, but Jake wasted no time in grabbing ahold of her forearms and switching their positions; a thrashing Neytiri was now pressed against the rich wood of the tree, while he muttered hushed, comforting words in her ear in pleading hopes to try and get her to calm down.

She eventually did, though the familiar stroke of her irritation when they’d first met was there, assisted by other feelings, but that somehow bolded her every pretty feature; confusion to why he’s feigning, anger for rushing into saying things without her consent and hurt for leaving you hanging knowing already how you awaited for them both to bring it up and it tormented her within how she went along with whatever the moron of her husband did.

Cautiously, so very fucking cautiously, he let go of her, one hand falling over her waist while the other gently gripped her chin. “Are we okay now?”

She blinked a few times and watched the confusion and concern riddling Jake’s features. Her lower lip slightly protruded and trembled, and her forehead creased the way it always did when in distress. The trinkets embedded in her braids swayed harshly at the head shake she gave him, and he felt his chest churn at the motion.

“Jake, did you not see how she looked at us?” Neytiri’s heart ached at the flash of your face, throat tightening, and in came the now stinging sensation of tears in her eyes. “She looked hurt, she is hurt because of us,” Her finger rose and punctured firmly into Jake’s chest with every word and tried to ignore the way his face scrunched for a second, “because of how you got her hopes up, because of how I went along with your foolish lies, because of how we both know how much she wanted this! Stupid!”

Wave after wave crashed among Jake’s mind and heart, eyes falling shut as he welcomed the tiny jabs his wife took at him. He understood what she meant, and he understood that she – and you — had every right to be upset with him. He didn’t want to hurt either of you, but he did it for a cause. He didn’t think it’d affect you this much overnight, then again, as his wife said: They both know how much you want this. He knew why she stated what she did, and even he was aware as much as she was of why he stated what he did; he aspires to it as much as you and her do.

The disappointment he felt with himself didn’t help with the abundance of emotions he carried already. He strongly cursed himself aloud for making you feel this way, but there was something more added as to why he did what he did, besides the fact that he was doubtful with your once endangered health.

He swallowed, hard, face easing, “I am sure about this.”

Neytiri’s current finger stabbing his chest came to a stop. “About?”

“She wants a baby,” Jake’s shoulder lifting made Neytiri’s eyes widened. “It’s like we said last night, a baby we’ll have.”

Her lips parted, slowly forming a full ‘o’ that made him want to laugh, and her fingertips raised to cover her mouth with the weight of his words. “Did I hit you too hard?”

This time he didn’t resist the laughter bubbling up his chest, leaning in until their foreheads kissed. “Nah, baby. You hit me enough times to get my act together.” He breathed out, smiling tenderly when her hands hesitated in reaching out for him, curling around his sides, orbs glowing with forgotten tears. “You are serious? No jokes? No delays?”

A wide grin curved the edges of Jake’s lips, his hand shifting to cradle her jaw and the other pulled her close. Neytiri’s breathing hitched at the sound of his chuckle floating through her flickering ears.

His gaze darted between her eyes and lips, not sure which was more worthy of his attention. “No delays, honey. I want this, with the both of you … I didn’t say anything just yet in the morning because I wanted us to give her a little surprise.”

Her head tilted, curious to what he meant. “And that is?” He grinned once more, kissing her softly before gently tugging her off the tree’s surface. “C’mon. Let’s head to the old RDA.”

The glimpse of Jake’s smile reflected from the window in front of him, keeping his eyes on the newborns he’d gotten fond of watching for the past 6 days. Though if someone were to ask him ( that someone being Tommy ) he wouldn’t have admitted the entire reason emitted as to why he kept returning to that particular side of the RDA’s hospital. But to be quite frank, watching them did establish a sense of tranquility within him, an adorable diversion from his main reason to visit.

He’d never been one for patience, but the stubbornness he was born with benefited him well in this case as he strained himself to stay, not lifting a single finger to touch the wheels at his sides. But he was beginning to lose the hope assisting that patience; hope for that young girl’s presence to show up and just let him feel all kinds of things, really good things that he hasn’t felt in a long ass time. While these cute babies slightly entertained him, they couldn’t fill the rest of his mind that had been wholly consumed by her from the moment they first met. During these times of days, they’d be side by side, with her arm occasionally straying near his shoulder while he anticipated it, or he admired the way she transported a tiny, foldable stool that allowed her to sit by him. The usual dread he carried with him vanished with the thought of her, from the rise of dawn to coming nightfall. Even behind his eyelids, once dreamless sleeps were replaced with the bright colors of her appearance.

He exhaled deeply, rolling his wheels back and was about to take a turn to leave until the hallway echoed with steady footsteps followed by a screeching sound of something grinding onto the ground. He grimaced, carefully turning his wheelchair in the resumance of its position in front of the window and there it was, the purpose of his visit; her.

“Leaving so soon, marine?”

She hadn’t glanced or moved towards Jake’s direction as she settled on her white stool but even so, he found himself with his tongue tied and his breath twisted in his gut from hearing her utter only those simple 4 words.

“Well I, uh, was, but I guess I can stick around. Don’t wanna leave you alone.” His chest puffed out and smirked proudly at his ability to form not one but two whole sentences, but he still couldn’t help feeling all warm and gooey inside when the young woman laughed softly at his choice of words. “What? You’re staying by my side now?”

She caught the reflection of his grin, “Sure you can say that.” She hummed and nodded at his words in acknowledgement while he went oblivious to the glee that coursed through her. “So you were waiting on me.�� It was more of a statement rather than a question, but he agreed.

“Yeah.” His head slanted slightly up, watching how she looked at those babies with the same expression as always. They stayed quiet for a comforting moment, his deep breath of release being the only thing floating in the air right now.

But while he may have looked as he carried a calm demeanor, inside he was startled when he turned to look at her. He came to terms that he indeed did like her, a lot as a matter of fact, but somehow it seemed like it was more than just likeness.

“So why’re you here?” Curious orbs glanced down at Jake with a spasm of a tiny smile on her mouth.

His brow hitched and gave himself a look over as if the wheelchair he was in apparently didn’t indicate as to why he was in the hospital. She laughed, a sheepish sound he found himself smiling at, “ what I mean is the reason why you’re in that wheelchair.”

He chuckled for a short moment before nodding. “I was a part of the USMC. The United States Marine Corps.” He added, and she threw him a quick glance that said ‘ well no shit Sherlock’ and he smiled briefly. “There were some issues down in Venezuela, and I was one of the many involved that got injured. My spinal cord is messed up … and obviously, ” he patted his thin legs, “these too.”

He saw how her brows knitted together and her former smile turned into a frown. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t like being the cause of that, and he sighed when she said, “did they offer you surgery to fix your paralysis? Isn’t your brother a part of this facility?”

“They did, and he is, but I declined both him and the offer.” His blue eyes caught hers when she glanced at him, letting her gaze linger for a few seconds that felt like eternity for him. He detected a strange strike of something in her pretty irises, something that concerned him until she tore away from him. “ It's been six days since we’ve met. Six days you’ve been coming over here, and not once did you ask me why am I here.”

Jake’s brows rose to his hairline, surprised by the sudden shift of topic but didn’t mind it whatsoever. “Why are you here?” He didn’t mean for it to come off as blunt or disrespectful, but blunt was his voice of nature. He quickly looked at her, not sure if she had caught onto it or not. The thought of why she was here never really crossed his head, he only mimicked the question out of both confusion and hopes to change the topic.

“ I have a weak heart.”

Jake didn’t understand the meaning behind her words. Sure, he wasn’t exactly an expert of human anatomy, hell he could barely comprehend the damage done to his own body. How can she have a weak heart if here she was, standing tall and beaming as if a miracle had occurred right before her very eyes, speaking to him as if normalcy had happened through their lives? “Huh?”

“I don’t have a strong heart, Jake. The world’s air isn’t clean enough for my system, so this hospital is the next best thing for my health. So because of this ‘poor’ heart, I can’t do the things I really, really want. I thought you maybe wanted to know, but never asked just to not come off as nosy.”

“Wait, what? I don’t mean to come off that way–”

She chuckled softly at his dubious expression only for it to grow. Yeah, he noticed the IV pole she tended to have attached with her in every corner she turned, but it never occurred to him to ask her or his brother, which now that he thought of it, he did have the chance to, but that never was his main focus. He’d been so captivated by the way she carried herself and how she had managed to slither her way within his veins.

“If I had the chance to somehow fix the way my heart works, I’d take it.” She admitted, a soft utterance he would’ve found relief in if it hadn’t been for the true translation of her words; “If I was in your place, I’d take that chance.” which unveiled the main translation, “Take the chance you’ve been given, because there’s others who don’t ever receive it.”

“If that heart of yours is so weak, how come you’re able to talk with a lot of meaning?”

Her sudden direct turn made him smirk softly, capturing his gaze for a much longer time than these past 6 days. He let himself admire her full face, noticing how she, too, lost herself in the blue swirls of his eyes, as if searching for something within them. He didn’t plan to ask such a question, but the way she looked at him surged a positive thrill through him. Her eyes diverted from his for a second, face flushing. “ My heart likes to be heard, I guess. It’s the seat of our emotions, isn’t it? Emotions should be heard.”

His smirk morphed into a full on grin now. “See, there it is again. You wanna know what I hear when you speak that heart of yours?”

Her head sloped to the side in intrigue, and it took all his upper strength to not lose his words. “An angel. A very pretty one with a clear voice.” he pointed out, and leaned his upper body closer to hers. “So imma tell you this. I’ll accept this surgery because of this angel, but on one condition.”

His pointer finger stuck out in front of his face and was visibly pleased at the way her twinkling eyes darted between his and the finger between them. “And what’s that?” she breathed out.

The digit that was currently extended in the air was accompanied by the others, and with the permission her eyes gave him, he allowed them to brush across the skin of her cheek. Jake’s grin waived into much gentle one when she leaned into his touch, and his voice was barely above whisper. “That you stop talking so down on that angel’s heart. How can you say it’s weak when her words come from there, sounding so smart and pretty?”

She chewed on her lower lip, corners of her mouth curving upward at the honesty coloring his face. “I think I wanna marry you, Marine.”

“You’d spend your life attached to a wheelchair instead of me, angel.” He chortled while cupping her cheek and enjoyed the way those eyes looked at him, mirroring his own enamorment.

1 week. 1 week, 5 days, and 9 hours had passed ensuing the conversation between Jake, Neytiri, and you about continuing a family, and you getting the Tsahik’s eternal blessing.

Days exuded into scorching afternoons into brilliant nights, and your body sizzled with the passing of time in irritation the longer they proceeded being oblivious to your clear frustrations. Tonight though, you’d decided you’d had enough of the waiting, and enough of this promise that forever remained empty. The foreseeable subject with your mates would be one that manufactured outcomes.

You, with the admirable help of your mother-in-law, prepared their favorite meals; Jake had taken a liking to teylu assisted with vegetables, though if you were to be frank it was like feeding a child, how he picked apart the sweet grub from the vegetables only for Neytiri and you to scold him; while Neytiri was the one who was never critical of what she ate, as long as it was Na’vi’s traditional foods and made with attentiveness, she was more than willing to consume it. Prepping meals for them was one of the many things they admired from you, given their engaged schedule, and making something extra came in handy when you wanted a little something from them. It didn’t fail you before, so why should it tonight?

“Tell us about your day, txe’lan. Are you alright?” Neytiri queried when she took notice of the anxious movement your fingers would occasionally stray to the accessories decorating your collarbones. Seeing this, she reached over, delicately lacing her fingers with yours and gave a small squeeze. She picked up a deep liking to the way your fingers were adorned with multiple silver rings, always toying with them in wonder.

There was a specific one she enjoyed to look at, and it was the one around your ring finger, little fragments of trinkets embedded and shaped into a pair of wings, and the story of how you had gotten it always made her smile softly while Jake would blow out into a full on grin, knowing they were the ones behind the story; sort of like an engagement ring. It was a lovable act from them both, the two of the most lovable mates you could ever ask for.

Trying to sustain a firm demeanor was resulting to be an impracticable goal the longer your gaze stayed fixated on your locked hands, smiling very briefly at how her three fingers wrapped around yours, thumb rubbing gentle circles over your skin. Your smile became inevitable when Jake came into your view, sitting next to Neytiri with Neteyam and Kiri bouncing happily on his lap while both took turns curiously tugging on their father’s dark locs, Neteyam mostly, and very curiously, tapping the accessories Jake had around the middle of his neck. “Hey, watch it,” he playfully scolded, then returned his gaze to you. “Yeah, how was your day, angel? Did these two gremlins give you any trouble?”

Your mouth curled before taking a small and final bite of your food. “It was nice. Kiri was curious, as always, grabbing everything, relentless as usual. Right, beautiful girl?” Her round eyes crinkled in the way her birth mother’s would when she’d smile, and you chuckled softly before turning to the other. “‘Teyam was very good and quiet, right, my little warrior?” He reflected your wide smile, and it took everything in you to not squeal in excitement at how his smile resembled his mama Neytiri’s.

“Thought I was your warrior.” Jake frowned at you, of course he did. You could tell by his tone of voice, by the gruff tone he implied.

You let your eyes flicker up at him, and inside you were now debating whether or not Neteyam looked more like his father or mother by the way his wide eyes looked up at him and mimicked Jake’s pout, Kiri stretching out a tiny fist and pounded Jake’s cheek. Neytiri chuckled, fingers covering her mouth while you squirmed in resistance, only to break in defeat when you caught a glimpse of her beautiful smile. One that crinkled her bright irises, the creases slightly prominent due to her happiness.

“You’re my protector,” you corrected, and he hummed with an arched brow. “Doesn’t that indicate a warrior too?” His stare bounced between you and Neytiri, and you chuckled. “Neytiri is my other warrior, my breathtaking warrior,” you cheeked, laughing when both their expressions were complete opposites from the other. Hers beamed and his frowned. “hey that’s not fair, I can be breathtaking for you—”

“But you are not,” Neytiri chirped, tease edged in her voice as she smirked at the small glare he gave her before looking back at you. “So I’m not breathtaking?” Neytiri’s chuckle tugged one out of you and you couldn’t help but chew on your lip when you looked at Jake. Honed gaze, current frowning mouth tilting slightly up when he realized your expression, and gosh he was beautiful. ‘Stupidly beautiful’, Neytiri had once commented, and he had taken that as a strong complement minus the stupid. Of course he was breathtaking, he himself knew this from the way your face screamed how unfairly gorgeous he was.

“You’re staring, babygirl.”

You glanced down with a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I know.” His smile increased into a big grin as he laughed along with Neytiri until his cut into a grunt of pain when Kiri tugged harder onto his hair. “ Girl, calm your ass down—ow!”

“Do not say those things around babies, skxawng!”

The scene before you flooded your brain with the image of them with an additional child. Little girl, maybe little boy, who shared the same pure mischief as their older sister and silent wonder of the older brother, both containing that happiness that your mates both carried in this moment, squealing, giggling, running across your home’s grounds as Jake chased them, sitting between Neytiri’s legs as she styled their hair, staring up at their parents in wonder while lying between you three in your large hammock, laughing with every lame joke Jake would make while they snuggled into each other’s warmth. They were already wonderful parents given the weeks, almost 4 months since Neteyam’s and Kiri’s birth. They could at least handle one more, given the love and patience they had with the babies, with each other, with you.

“So… speaking of babies,”

Neytiri’s hold on you tightened and you couldn’t decide if whether the twitch spasming the corners of her lips was to contain its act of lifting or falling, while Jake made what could be a grunt in the back of his throat, rising to his feet while cooing whatever talk he could to his kids. “We weren’t really speaking about babies? It started with Neytiri asking about your day, then we drifted to breathtaking and how I am indeed that.”

“I’m not playing, Jake.” You henced, but it seems he didn’t get the message by the mirth in his irises. “Me too!”

“Jake.” Your other lover warned, a stern look when the two made eye contact. Your brow rose at the silence they shared, a sigh leaving him before looking back at you, but the amusement still lied in his face. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of defeat at how this conversation has started, but gratefully you had Neytiri by your side and the both of you knew very well he always used his sense of humor to shift the subject in a whole other direction. You sensed that Neytiri was about to tell him something more, but the firm clench of your fingers around hers halted her from doing so.

“You don’t remember what we were talking about the other night? What you said so suddenly to Neytiri and I?”

His stare tilted to the sky, this time not fighting off Kiri pulling to his hair as he hummed as if in thought. “We talk every night, and y’know me and my mouth say whatever, so I think one of you should remind me.” Vexation flared into you, rolling your eyes towards Neytiri’s direction, expecting to see her with the same expression you carried only for your annoyance to increase and perplexity assist it from her too bright smile.

Her expression only seemed to have grown when you ripped away your touch from her and stood up. A sigh of exasperation left your lips already comprehending the fact that they were up to something. “You two, I don’t have time for games. Jake, for once, no jokes and Neytiri, please just tell me what’s going on!” You practically stomped your way towards Jake and took Kiri from him, oblivious to the confused babble leaving the baby from losing contact with her dad’s odd hair, while he watched you in amusement when you returned for Neteyam after setting her down in a handmade cradle. She took interest in playing with the material, cooing at it cutely.

Neytiri would be lying if she said this wasn’t at least fun to watch, how riled up you became, but she also wanted Jake to speed up whatever it is he’s doing so they can finally get on with it. “Neytiri, darling, I kinda remember having a talk with y'all. But then again, between our girl making all those pretty sounds and us talking, it’s kind of a blur, don’t ya think, baby?” There was that shit eating smirk stretched across his face, and Neytiri threw him a look of warning when you silently walked away from them with Neteyam in your arms.

You kneeled down to place him beside his sister, a small toy Jake crafted for his baby boy before his birth being the focus of Neteyam’s entertainment as you stood up, gazing down at them with a small smile. The opening tone in Jake’s voice let you know there was more to be added, and it would be a lie to say you weren't curious about where they planned to drive this conversation. But you didn’t look at them, not when you were trying to control your emotions by staring at two of the four sources of your tranquility, because the other two happen to be the ignition of that irritation.

The sound of clinking beads swayed in the air, and just when you were about to turn you felt the tall presence lumbering behind you. You couldn’t help huffing out a chuckle when that presence came down to crouch behind you, the length of two gentle arms wrapped around your torso. You looked down to those familiar arms, recognizing they belonged to Neytiri before even looking at them. Your eyes traced the way three of her fingers twined across your bare stomach, how her palms pushed very lightly into your flesh, and you exhaled. Tension had entangled you up way before she had even touched you, all because of a ceaseless conversation that never gave you anything in favor, but you couldn’t resist mollifying the second your wife touched you — because of course, who would not mollify for Neytiri?

“Neytiri.”

“I remember well what we talked about,” A soft kiss met the angle of your jawline, soon moving down and stopped just right below your necklace before placing her chin over your shoulder, and that unique, earthy smell that was solely her consumed your inhales. “It is unlikely for our Jake to bring up more…babies, or am I wrong, tiyawn?”

“Neytiri.”

Stern was more of a whine in your voice, and when she chuckled, it jittered through you to the point where you felt it to your bones, practically vibrating every ounce of your frustration away. “I know he can be…what you say a pain in the ass, but he is only teasing.”

“Yeah angel,” another voice chirped into the conversation, larger palms sliding just right above Neytiri’s. “You really think I’m capable of forgetting about our important talk?”

“No but you’re capable of changing the subject while Neytiri just stays quiet, and in my opinion that’s even more frustrating than if you forget.”

“Forgive me, my beautiful girl,” Neytiri voiced, and her soft yearn indicated she truly was sorry for her actions. “But, I had reason to do it.”

The hum Jake slurred out practically yelled he had that stupid grin on his face. “If I’ve been changing it and Tiri’s been quiet, you think we would’ve stopped by to visit Norm and the other geeks and made arrangements for next week?”

Your eyes turned big and rounder than they usually were when you swiveled in Neytiri’s arms to look at them, face inches away from hers while Jake stood knelt beside her. “I’m sorry— you two did what?”

“Ya heard me, angel .” Jake carried a wide, prideful smile — Neytiri’s more anticipating your reaction as her tail swished behind her, and it only widened with every passing second your eyes darted between the two, not knowing what to say just yet. When everything clicked, and you couldn’t contain reaching over towards Jake and smacking him hard across the head while lightly tugging one of Neytiri’s braids.

“Ow! What the actual fu—” Two smacks, one accompanied by Neytiri, met his chest this time when Neteyam’s big eyes looked at his father, though Kiri seemed unfazed.

“The first was for making me think you lied,” You looked at Neytiri, “That was for not saying anything,” then back at Jake, “and the other was for almost dropping an f bomb on your kids.”

“Our kids are too young to process what the f word really means— but okay I get what you’re saying …”

“ Our intention are never to hurt you, txe’lan. When have we ever lied?” Neytiri murmured, pulling you back into her embrace while Jake tried soothing the pain of his head and chest. You couldn’t help rolling your eyes at his overreacted tactics, but leaned into your wife, “Never…I think.”

Her thumb and pointer finger gently grabbed ahold of your chin and tilted your head up to meet her gaze. Her tone was softer, steady and hushed the way it always did when speaking only to you. “Then why lie now?”

“We haven’t talked about this in almost over a week and I just didn’t want to push you into something you don’t want.” Delicate as a whisper were your words; each syllable trembling from your lips, hesitant and uncertain as if afraid to be heard. With a slight bow of your head, you almost surrendered to your timidity but your wife was not fond of it at this moment, elevating your chin up once more, savoring the pure beauty you conveyed and the way your lower lip curled between your teeth.

“We have told you; your desires are our desires. Again, forgive me for keeping quiet. I just …” her forehead creased, mouth parted slightly as she tried searching for the correct words. “I didn’t know how to bring it up…how to help give you what you wish. It was wrong to do this without you but…”

“I asked her not to because we wanted this to be a surprise,” he smiled, palm enveloping your cheek before that mischief snuck its way across his face. “Besides, we also wanted to see how long it would take you to crack,”

“I told you, ma Jake. She is better than you expect.” Neytiri grinned, and this time you couldn’t contain your own smile. Jake peered down at the kids and hummed, causing you and Neytiri to looked down as well only to see their eyes fluttered shut, curling into one another as their little mouths parted as soft exhales and inhales rose from their chubby bodies.

“So now that they’re asleep…”

You squealed when he roughly pulled you out of Neytiri’s grasp, Neytiri about to protest until he too lifted her in his arms. “Jake!”

“Shh, don’t wanna wake the babies up,” His long legs carried him to your large hammock with ease. He carefully placed the two of you down, grinning widely. A deep kiss met Neytiri’s mouth, one following yours afterwards. “Let’s try and get one of those things in you, yeah?”

You giggled breathily against Neytiri’s mouth, knowing Jake’s hungry gaze was watching his wives’ every movement right before him as her fingers carefully but so adeptly took off the Na’vi clothing you wore, taking advantage of brushing her touch quite long enough to burn your skin. “Don’t think it works that way with all three of us–”

He smirked deviously, crawling over the both of you. “Let’s test that out, shall we?”

Being one to live as a wheelchair user may perhaps be one of the hardest things Jake had ever experienced. Though what might be worse than becoming a wheelchair user is living as one. Mentally and physically exhausting he cultivated with each passing second of every day, things he never thought to upkeep with his disabled body. It didn’t surprise him, how the current world reacted to what he’d been through and deemed it as if it wasn't something grand. While days were torturous, he’d slowly adjusted to his new way of surviving. It became ... a tad bit easier, though while others weren’t the least caring for his state, they did underestimate his capabilities, his strength, his intelligence and took him for “the man with chicken legs.”

“Your brother represented a significant investment. We’d like to talk to you about taking over his contract, and since your genome was identical to his, you could step into his shoes … so to speak. It’d be a fresh start in a new world. You could do something important. You can make a difference.”

So when the unforeseen moment that he had discovered his twin brother’s passing led him through the Avatar program in return of something highly valued for his beneficence, he wasted no second in consenting to his now late brother’s place.

He had agreed to get surgery, though the process somehow was a bit too long since he had declined at first, and Tommy had said something about handling a few issues before continuing with his surgery, and after the 11 days passed, he was released to go home which perplexed him. That was until learning the cause of his brother’s death, of what were the issues delaying his surgery; opponents in the same field had it out for him, even for the paper in his wallet.

“We’ll provide everything you need for this trip, now go big your goodbyes, go home, gather the few things you’d like to take,” they had told him, “though I doubt you’ll need it these next 5 years.”

He doubted he had anything he’d like to take, there’s not much for him to value and take or had someone to bid goodbyes to. Everyone he knew had parted from his life, chipping away the smallest of pieces that formed some sort of comforting fortress in him, especially her. He hadn’t heard a thing about the girl he adored in weeks. He visited her of course, for many many months; he’d stay long hours in her room, both laid and tightly nuzzled in her hospital bed while talking, but one day she was nowhere to be seen, and no one would give him information as to what had happened to her, if she was out of the hospital. The last thing he heard was that she had another destination to go towards, and that was all yet not enough. So why not take his brother’s place and start anew as they say? He did though, gather a small luggage, received a well and quick haircut, and took his leave.

Jake’s fingers loosely curled around the wheels on each of his sides, strolling between the familiar stark white hallways of the hospital he once had been a patient in to visit to give his form a brief examination and quick feedback in hopes for him to take this procedure to Pandora. And maybe, just maybe, he’d catch a glimpse of the angel he terribly missed and needed at this time.

As he went through the building, he recalled his brother being proud to be a part of this facility, of something grand and meaningful, unyielding passion he possessed to help everyone within this building. “A place to help people with disabilities, small and big. I can be a part of that help, Jake. I can find solutions, maybe even find one that brings this damn earth back to life.” Tommy had told him with the reflection of his exact smile, a small chuckle rising from Jake and acknowledged everything else being said, about seeking solutions to issues that collide on this planet, about traveling light years to some distant moon that could carry them. Ironic to become the brother with the disabilities and now being the one going light years away, he thought.

Typically, visits — checkups — to the hospital were ones he only looked forward to ending as soon as they started, an activity he dreaded in doing so for the very reason that he simply doesn’t want to be sitting in a room with some doctor repeating the constant news as the previous visit: “you’re subjected to this condition for the rest of your life”, “it seems you aren’t progressing anytime soon”, “well you won’t have to worry about a random leg cramp anymore, right?” But today, surprisingly, he looked forward to this checkup. Sure, they’d repeat the same thing of his condition, but this time he had hoped for an addition to those words.

A man, dressed in a dark suit, walked his way. Jake recognized him as one of the guys who’d informed him of his brother’s deaf, seeing a smile pursing his mouth. “Seems to me you’re rather thrilled for this than the last time I’d seen you.”

An exhale left Jake’s nostrils, his shoulder lifting. “Just wait ‘till you see me stand and dance in excitement.”

The man, unknown of his name, sighed at the dry humor, head motioning to the hallway that leads Jake to his appointment. “I don’t think most people here will take your exciting miracle too kindly, especially considering some of them are most likely not able to recover or make it. You’re here to participate in making a difference, Sully. We aren’t here for sarcasm.”

Jake resisted from rolling his eyes as he strolled a bit further ahead of him. “Thought I could at least have fun with this. I ain’t mean it to offend anyone, all I mean is I am looking forward to this.”

The man didn’t know whether to take Jake’s tone as sarcasm or solemnity, simply nodding when he peered a glance over his shoulder as if to say, ‘well, you coming or not?’

After an hour of being in a room, having an MRI and CT scan, then with people from the RDA, doctors, and the suited man ( the news were as Jake predicted — the same, additionally with the other news that he can make the long trip and it won’t affect him whatsoever ), Jake was led through a different hall he hadn’t seen the last he’d been there, leading him to his long flight. He disregarded the peculiar glances hurled his way, a second nature action he’d grown accustomed in doing after weeks tolerating his faith in a wheelchair.

He was surprised to see how many people — more men than women — surged the place, how lengthy the lines were, the employees assisting, checking in, getting everything in order and setting for those who were leaving to be prepared. A few men’s families were present, bidding their goodbyes and farewells. He recognized the fear, the longing hope of safety to be with their parting member, the nerves racketing through while the men tried keeping a steady posture, a neutral tone. He sympathized for them, but there was no doubt that he thought they should feel fortunate to have someone there with them.

There was still quite some time until they attended him, so he took a chance in taking one more stop before he left this planet; the infantry ward. Memories from weeks ago, maybe even a month or so flooded his brain constantly, each filled with the thought of her, Y/N L/N. Of all the randomest topics she seemed to have come up with. Now, even when he sees a baby he can’t help but picture how excited she’d be, how warm her face would turn, how she’d rant on and on about wanting to bore one. Even now as the window before him revealed those newborns, he still illustrates the image of her right beside him, staring at them, then gifting him with those eyes before parting them back to those babies.

The memory of her perhaps was the only thing keeping him from going back into a dark place in his life, from wasting himself nonstop and attending bars that don’t appreciate his presence, let alone acknowledge him. He missed her, missed having that good sensation that only increased when with her. He at least wanted a moment, a chance to say goodbye, to wish her the best. Maybe to have some motive…to stay. Anywhere near her, he’d stay.

That wishful hope for her to come through the halls in all her divine beauty seemed to slip through his fingers as he waited, as he tried grasping for patience. But it only decreased and disintegrated into exasperation, inhaling a deep breath before turning.

“Leaving so soon, marine?”

His head snapped towards the voice, blue eyes widened at the sight of her practically beaming at him. He looked her over, rebreathing that neverending beauty, taking in how she was no longer in a gown, how her IV pole was no longer in her hold. Instead she was in formal wear, and she held a bag similar to his, and that’s when it clicked where your destination was. His heart smacked harshly against his ribcage as she sauntered his way, chewing on her lower lip.

“Well I was, but I guess I can stick around. Don’t wanna leave you alone.” he repeated, smiling up at her as he led himself towards her. There was that giggle that made him feel all kinds of things, and he would’ve scoffed at the way she knelt down to meet him face to face if it wasn’t for him refreshening his memory of that pretty face. “What? You’re staying by my side now?”

He grinned, wrapping a palm around the side of her neck. “Damn right I am.”

His kiss was a great combination of gentleness but desperation, sweet but harsh, yearning but commanding. He didn’t once let her go, if anything he raised his other hand and grasped her face while her hands wrapped around his forearms, trying to keep up with his pace. “You’re leaving.” she breathed against his mouth, and he only smiled while fluttering his eyes open. “So are you, angel.” she exhaled, almost overwhelmed at the sound of the nickname, swollen lips agape near the corner of his own, “In a few. How about you?”

“In a few as well…” his murmur ghosted her skin, chuckling when her fingers skimmed across his scalp in a curious manner, thumbs tracing his temples. “That’s the reason for this new look?”

“Maybe…I also didn’t want to keep looking like Tommy. Like it?”

“I love it…” she hummed before pulling away, a softness falling upon her when he kept his hold on her face. “I heard what happened…Are you okay?” He only shrugged, honed gaze locked on hers. “I’ve been alright…Y’know, this might sound horrible but,” he tugged her close until his mouth was brushing hers, inhaling and letting that floral mist consume his atmosphere. “What was worse than losing Tommy was that I wasn’t by your side at all…and I missed you.”

Her eyes shimmered at his words, though trying to contain her smile. “That does sound terrible, but I missed you too, Jake.” He liked the way his name fell from her lips, how it ignited that fire he felt so wildly with her. Though he did have a sudden intrigue and deep concern. “They’re letting you go with your condition?”

She bobbed her head, “They say that maybe there’s some kind of cure up there…and me being a researcher in this sort of field, I can find out more about it.” her brow rose, eyes widening in a way that made Jake think of her adorable. “I’m assuming you’re going for Tommy?”

“Same DNA, twins, must take his place, maybe I’ll get my legs back…” he sighed. “Something like that.” She hummed, drawing him back in with a soft smile. “Well…at least we’ll get to be together, no?”

His cheek hoisted, oceanic eyes consuming her wholly when he looked between her lips and eyes. “Hell, yeah.” The intimate moment had been cut short, however, when an announcement suddenly echoed through the halls from the speakers up on the ceiling, “Jake Sully, brother of Tom Sully. Y/N L/N. Please appear where you should be for your departure immediately.”

“I’m gonna miss these little ones…” Her palm rose to the glass, lingering there for a moment as a baby’s tiny eyes fluttered open, a soft coo leaving their little ‘o’ shaped mouth. Jake could only smile and nod, “I’ll get you one of them soon.” he jested, and her head tilted his way with a spark in her eyes he was familiar with, but both said nothing afterwards.

The short but entire way to their designated area, they kept close, and it looked entirely odd yet wholesome to others, the way she kept her hand on his shoulder the entire time, the way he glanced up at her with the biggest smile there was for the reason being he had someone not only there but leaving with him as well. Any trace of distress disappeared when he was about to be put in cryptonic sleep, glancing one more time at her only to see she’d already been looking at him with a soft grin.

“See you in five years, marine.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The RDA decreased from view as Trudy Charon, a transport pilot working for the RDA itself, designated her Samson rotorcraft with a proud sense swarming her. Within the craft was Dr. Grace Augustine, her right hand and xenoanthropologist, Norm Spellman, former marine, Jake Sully, and wondrous researcher Y/N L/N.

“All right you three, we need to be careful with this,” Grace, mind already transferred to her avatar body, turned Y/N’s way as she was seated between Norm and Jake who’d also been resettled in their avatar bodies. “especially you, Y/N. You have no avatar, and Pandora’s forest is no place for a mere human being, alright?”

Her chin jutted up and down twice, a smile of glee enchanting her delicate complexion beneath the exomask. Jake could only stare at her with adoration coloring his newly featured amber eyes. He could feel each ounce of thrill bouncing off her being and into his system. He knew that apart from coming to search for some cure, being in Pandora was one of her greatest wishes to grant, and he wasn’t going to ruin this for her whatsoever. Especially with her condition. Right there in that moment, he only wished to enjoy it with her. And of course, protect her because as Grace said, she has no avatar.

There hadn’t been enough time to prepare one for her, and the reason for that greatly included the state of her immune system, her well-being. Grace had mentioned that she needed to run more tests, check if the atmosphere of Pandora would either affect her avatar along with her human body or if she’d be safe. It benefited him with the fact that he had to stay as close as possible to her, though he did have some doubts about Y/N being out in the open in Pandora. As mentioned, her complexion had been very delicate, sparkling eyes gaining a drain to them despite the happiness she expressed. Thanks to his newfound senses, he could hear the gentle thumps of her heartbeat, feel the warmth that radiated endlessly from her body, feel the very light quivers that ached through her due to her health.

His hand, freakishly blue and larger than his normal size, carefully, so very carefully captured her much tinier hand, interlacing his long fingers between hers. Her eyes, currently gazing out at Pandora’s exquisite views, instantly turned towards his, only to see he was already staring at her.

His incisors somehow intensified the charisma of his soft grin, keeping those golden depths on each of her movements. She tracked down the stroke of concern on his lips, the flicker of uneasiness within them, and offered him a much brighter and assuring smile as if to say, ‘I’m okay, really’. She let her eyes stray to their clasped hands, entranced with the way his deep azure tones clashed beautifully with her neutral ones. Every ounce of second thoughts or anxious feelings ceased from existence for she only felt him; the warmth of his wondrously large palm, the laxness of his grip.

She was sure she was in good hands, for the moment Y/N had arrived and made Grace’s acquaintance she was quick to put up rules for her safety, giving her a proper warning to take good care of her health and that her usual check-ups back on earth would still take place in Pandora within the RDA. And Norm, well he respected the researcher given she was young and had great enthusiasm for the world’s rare beauty. Trudy had been informed to take precaution and keep a close eye on the young woman, and she seemed to get along great with her but none of them beat Jake in that apartment. He was a steady balance of overprotective and letting his girl enjoy herself, though she had a vague idea of how he’d act in this planet now that he has regained movement of his legs, recalling how excited he’d been that he was reckless when barging into the lab and lifted Y/N in his arms, ignoring the protests of all the others, especially Grace.

“C’mere, lemme hold you closer so you can see,” Jake murmured, putting his weapon down and lifted Y/N onto his lap before she could even protest. A breathless ‘woah’ fell from her lips at the view of wide stretched and tall trees, eyes falling to the ground only to see a group of ginormous and rare creatures.

“Easy, Jake,” Trudy called from over her shoulder, “If you think it’s high for you tall ones, think how high it is for her.”

“Marine, be careful with her! Don’t drop her, damn it!” Grace scolded, and Y/N chuckled at the way Jake waved her off but tightened his hold around her midsection while nuzzling his jawbone into her now tangled hair thanks to the strong wind.

“I got her, doc. Don’t tell me how to protect her.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Adoration was one of the grandest things Neytiri felt for her home; a habitat that flourished with the wonders of Eywa, arrayed in which greeneries and distinct creatures connect to each other, rely on one another for durability, gifting everyone within Pandora with a new, brilliant day.

Grateful she was to be apart of such environment, proud to hold and be able to carry out the Omaticayan’s rich traditions, especially carrying the role of becoming the clan’s future Tsahik. In the meantime, tsakarem she took part in and being a natural-like warrior, exploring within the rainforests.

Though while she sauntered through and over the wide, long branches, unfamiliar distressed voices were heard, and Neytiri’s curiosity peaked and led her towards it.

Beneath the thick branches and lengths of the green fronds wandered two figures; one who shared the similar species as her though not entirely, seeing how he’s dressed in sky demon wear and his long limbs moved with inelegance, caution against her home, an avatar, lumbering in an almost protective stance over a much smaller body. Another sky demon, female, and apparently average in height for their species, she recalled, watching as she uttered a small remark towards the avatar as they walked deeper into the forest.

Amber irises gleamed between the branches, the pair belonging to Neytiri grew piqued and questioned why two humans here, interfering in Pandora’s nature, in her home. They were misplaced, lost, and could end up tumbling in the grasp of death without proper guidance. She could let that happen, or perhaps she could take matters into her own hands, by positioning her bow and arrow towards them, gaze sharp.

She halted, however, caused by the sounds the male avatar did, a pinch of distress between his brows. Her head turned, unaware of where the female had gone until she spotted her in his arms, eyes fluttering shut behind the mask she wore.

“Y/N, c’mon angel, wake up! We gotta head back, I need you with me, now.”

Her eyes narrowed and flickered between the unconscious body and him, something remorseful twisting in her chest but she tried shaking it away by inhaling deeply, drawing her bow and arrow back once more, at him.

Just when she was about to release it, a woodsprite, known as atokirina to the Na’vi, floated her way, the mystical creature landing on her bow. It astonished the young warrior, soon becoming perplexed until realization weighed upon her. Just testing the waters, the point of her arrow tilted the human’s way, and the woodsprite didn’t move from its spot. Not until she set her weapon down, resisting her questions and giving into whatever Eywa desired.

She didn’t leave just yet though, if anything she kept an attentive eye on the both of them, debating on whether or not to help the male, and felt alert when he reached for the breathing mask over her face and pulled it off in a panicking act, mouth pressing, breathing into hers very carefully. She hissed sharply at his stupidity, and just as she was about to crawl out of her hiding spot, the woman …Y/N had awoken.

“W-what…happened?” Jake’s shoulder’s squared straight along with Neytiri’s, one looking at Y/N with an incredulous expression while the other was waiting for her to collapse any second.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” She reached for her bare cheek, brows knitting as she felt around her skin for anything while Jake’s eyes remained wide, waiting for her to take notice of something that was currently missing. “Jake, stop staring like that! You’re scaring — oh my gosh where is my mask?!”

She observed the interaction between the two, tail swaying at the way he had crouched down to her height, gently cradled her close, an amalgam of sentiments resembling horrified and shocked and extremely confused, while he repeated the same questions if she was alright, if she felt well enough to walk, if he had to carry her he would.

“Grace is gonna kill me if she finds out i let anything happen to you.” Her ear twitched at both the mention of her former mentor and the pitch of tone he used, crouching away from eyesight. “Jake, relax. Look at me, I’m fine! Nothing’s wrong, alright? Sure, I can…somehow breathe out here but I'm alive!” Hands, dainty and tiny in Neytiri’s perspective, reaching to practically mush his face between them, a brilliant smile rested upon the human’s features.

“She’s gonna lose her shit when she hears this! I tried being all heroic– coulda’ killed you.”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, y’know?”

He dragged out a hum, his hold careful enough to keep her close. “A big one, now aren’t I?” There was an odd feeling blooming in Neytiri’ body at the way they smiled at each other. While his was broad, goofy, irritatingly likable and his rather small eyes gazed at the girl in endearment, hers was pure, lovely, bright. Intrigue has already sunk its claws deep into Neytiri’s soul at why, out of everyone, did Eywa choose to let them live, and why is it that the girl had collapsed, and why is it that the two before her have some sort of bond she subconsciously felt captivated towards?

That intrigue had spiraled tenfold throughout the day as she watched and followed, precaution assisting her in case the idiot almost risked the girl’s life especially when the forest was unknown and dangerous to them both — well, her more, of course, seeing as he was too stubborn for Pandora’s dangers, though Neytiri was surprised at how well Y/N reacted to everything, ushering the avatar to respect and keep quiet. Sky demons didn’t produce that type of awareness of care for Pandora anymore, or so she thought, and witnessing one of them carry that sprouted a sense of admiration within the tsakarem. She found herself pursuing a small amused smirk at them both, holding back laughter and would scoff or roll her eyes when one nearly tripped or made teasing, incredibly lame remarks ( the male, of course.)

When nighttime set upon Pandora, however, Neytiri’s curiosity disappeared and became alert when a group of nantags surrounded them. “Do not react harshly.” she muttered under her breath, back straightening to have a better look at the scene before her. Of course, it was hallucinating of her to think either of them could hear her, because the lanky avatar had created a flame, trying — and failing — to shield the small person with his body as he yelled at the small creatures, pointing the fire at them in case they launched themselves at her. Instead, they ran his way and he wasted no time striking them with the stick, grunting with the action.

“J-jake!” She was left in the open, exposed for attack when he had fallen over. The fire had been knocked out of his hands and right in front of her, illuminating the fear that streaked her face. Just as one of them found an opening towards the human, Neytiri nearly came out of her spot until the woman tried grabbing ahold of the long, rather heavy for her size stick.

“C’mon, c’mon,” She found an easy grip, fully lashing it in front of her in hopes to scare the nantags away. But the length of the bludgeon outweighed her, losing balance and fell to the ground.

Neytiri finally crept out of the shadows, muttering the words, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” at the so-called Jake when he stabbed a nantag. She jumped right between the human and two nantags, eyes narrowed and canines bared before she turned to Y/N. “Hand me that, tawtute” ( human ) the Na’vi spoke, watching the girl’s round eyes broadened, the fire’s flare enhancing their color as she looked up at the graceful, tall woman.

She forcefully tried to regard the human with contempt only for the corners of Neytiri’s mouth to fight against lifting at the wonder in her face, how she immediately did as she was ordered to. She ripped her eyes away from her, wincing at the refulgence the flame radiated before casting it into the nearest river before glowering at the animals and reaching for her bow.

The rest was an adrenaline blur, careful not to hurt the human or the avatar as she aimed an arrow towards a viperwolf that lunged their way. 3 had been needlessly killed by her, and remorse gutted her deep at her actions. Her eyes fluttered as she stabbed near the wound of one, its whimpers faint but frequent. “Oeru txoa livu, ma oeyä tsmukan. Hu nawma sa'nok tivul ngeyä tirea. Oeru txoa livu.” With one clean tug, the arrow had been removed, and a shallow breath rose from her chest when she approached another viperwolf.

Was this the purpose for Eywa to let them live? To kill her creatures?

“Where’s our fire?” She heard him inquire in a ridiculously loud voice. “She, uh, sorta put it out, but look! We don’t need it..woah.” Neytiri’s head lifted, her line of vision being greeted with the amazement that gleamed both their faces. His wide eyes were lifted to the fluorescence of the branches and wide and myriad shaped leaves while hers followed the outlines of the many glowing plants, a smile ghosting her features.

A sigh heaved out of Neytiri, trying to resume her focus on the squirming creature, “Oeru txoa livu,”

“Look, I know you, uh, probably don’t understand this, but uh—“

“ma oeyä tsmukan. Hu nawma sa'nok tivul ngeyä tirea,”

“…thank you.”

“Oeru txoa livu.”

“That was pretty impressive,” Jake uttered, the lopsided smile she thought to be stupid but charming resided on his face while he crouched a few feet away from her, and the human had only stayed quiet, inspecting Neytiri’s movements curiously with a tiny smile. She has a clear view of both features, had their full attention and there it was again; that magnetic tug, that rare thrill pulsing through her, only this time much stronger now that they were staring at her attentively.

Warmth blossomed in her chest when her gaze collided with his, and as much as she wanted to refuse ripping away from the two, she fully stood up and took a turn to leave. “H-hey wait a second!”

“Jake, no—”

“C’mon, maybe she can help us.”

The young warrior inhaled a sharp breath when she heard them follow her, hastening her every step. “Hey, wait a second, just slow down—”

“Jake, I don’t think she wants us following her, let’s just leave her alone—” She is not only strong at heart but wise, Neytiri thought as she threaded her fingers through the leaves, gently releasing them after she passed. “ I just wanted to say thanks for killing those things—”

She glanced down when his hand slipped around her forearm, snapping what was left of her thin patience. A sharpness whipped across his face, caused by the tip of her bow when she swung it purposefully at him.

“Ah, damn!” He stumbled down, touching his stinging face and looked at her in shock. The girl rushed to his side with a small stroke of ‘I told you so’. “You okay, Jake?” His head whipped up and his bulging eyes spoke more than enough for her to burst out giggling. “How the hell is this funny? Hurting me is funny— what was that for! All I was gonna do is thank her and ask for—”

“You don’t thank!” The thickness of Neytiri’s voice brought their attention toward her, Jake’s being more surprised at the newfound knowledge of her speaking English. “You don’t thank for this. This is sad. Very sad only.” The point of her weapon was still directed towards him, face etched with bane and what Y/N could only make out as deep offense.

She quickly slipped between them, a small hand stretching out against it. “He didn’t mean it that way. All he was trying to do was express his gratitude for helping us, that’s all, okay?”

Neytiri looked taken aback by her soft voice, lowering her bow as if trancened by the gentleness and panic gleaming in the human’s eyes. She watched how the avatar nodded along and lifted a hand to rest across the girl’s back. “Y-yeah, I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I am sorry.”

Her nose scrunched and her glowing eyes narrowed between them, gaze lingering on him. “This is your fault. They did not need to die, if you listen only to her, kept to self, then they would be alive still.” A breathless laugh of disbelief left Jake, and both women shot him a glare of warning. “My fault? They’re the ones who attacked us— I was just tryna keep her—”

Neytiri jabbed her bow down at him again, “Your fault!”

He looked at the girl beside him as if to say ‘help me out here, for crying out loud!’ only for her to give a small shrug and pat his shoulder, soon rising to stroke his head in a mocking manner. “You heard her. Your fault, baby.”

“What she has said. You are like a baby. Don’t know how to act. And she is like caregiver. Small but strong while you act like a baby.” Neytiri was oblivious to the mirthful smile Y/N carried, for the reason being Neytiri didn’t know she used the word as an affectionate nickname for Jake, but let her continue to scowl down at him. He sighed in frustration, cautiously pushing away the weapon as he slowly emerged from the ground. “Easy, now, okay?”

Her face remained wary when he looked at her. “All I was tryna do was keep Y/N safe. But if you love your little forest friends, then why not let them just kill our asses, huh?” Neytiri’s expression eased at the mention of the human, peering down at her when she too, stared up at her with the same question wandering around her mind. The warrior recognized what it was to have a strong heart, what it is like to want to protect the one you care for. What it is you’d do for those very people, whether you risk your own life or not, recklessly or not. Which is why her stare remained fixated on Jake. “Why save you?”

His hands fell over his legs, nodding. “Why save me? Why save her?”

She blinked once, then twice. The answer was right there in her mind and heart, though her lips parted a few times as she tried regaining her speech in English. “You have a strong heart,” she softly admitted, “No fear …” she took a step forward, her common nose scrunch returning, “but stupid. Ignorant like a child.”

“And you..” she looked at the human, ears fluttering back, “Rainforest is dangerous for humans, but even when small you have a strong heart also. Seykxel txe’lan. Patient. Listens and respects…” she breathed in deeply in exasperation at recalling the many times Y/N nearly tripped in the forest, “but clumsy. Very clumsy. You must be more careful.”

Jake snickered, only for Neytiri to toss him a fiery glare. “Protect her better.”

He scoffed, hands thrown up in the air, “What is it with people telling me how to protect you?”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to laugh, and eyes that were already full of brightness seemed to shine even more, which Neytiri did not think was possible for a simple human. The sound rang through her enhanced senses, mouth very slightly ajar when Jake grinned. The impossible increased when his smile added to the brightness, and she thought herself to be a fool if she didn’t at least smile.

He looked at her, smile transforming into a jesting one, a more comfortable one, and with that, she seethed out a hiss, glared at him, then her, and made a sharp turn to leave them. Little did she know they were opted to cross and tangle paths with her within seconds, though that entanglement had already begun the moment she laid curious eyes on them.

The constancy of unsettlement made your skin rigidify under the cool air of the former RDA’s structure, unlike the outside world of Pandora had. You were eternally grateful for not getting rid of your old clothing, settling with casual wear followed by a deep blue sweater. A section of this place was formed into an infirmary, and you, or anyone, were to think that an eternity of hospital visits and spending most of your childhood and teen years appointed to different doctors would have been enough preparation for you in this moment. But even if light years away from those hospitals and believing your minor theory would only prove to be fallacious, because regardless of the many doctors, many nurses, many months researching, many in and outs between hospital room to hospital room, it couldn’t compare to the way your whole body racked with disquiet in this precise moment.

“Ma Y/N, you are shaking.” Neytiri’s hand expanded across your lower back, smiling ever so lovingly at you, “Mawey ( be calm ), tiyawn.” Jake now reached over, a large palm cupping your thigh and striked you with that reassuring, sweet grin that always managed to ease you. “Yeah. That heart of yours is too fast right now. Just relax, baby.”

“How the hell do you guys expect me to just stop shaking when it’s damn freezing in here! You’d think that my body has gotten used to the heat from Pandora, but no. How are you not freezing your tails off?”

The picture was abnormal; two tall and long blue bodies, both in their Na’vi wear, both crouched down on each side of little, practically hyperventilating you, a human being seated on a chair, trying to ease your jittering soul. It wasn’t rare to see Jake in here, he’s paid many visits here just for Norm or for a brief check-up for you, or to witness how the others are doing, how they’re holding up. But it was Neytiri that slightly worried you – you could feel the tension she’s trying to thaw away for you, how she held back hissing at the people walking past, nearly stepping on her tail and the only thing keeping her from glaring at them was the small apology they uttered and the touch received by Jake and you.

A deep chuckle rumbled from Jake’s chest, the sound fanning your temple as he placed a sweet kiss there. “I know it’s been awhile, but I’m sure it’s not that bad here. But let’s do some of those breathing exercises before Norm comes up in here, yeah?” Your curt nod confirmed his small smile, motioning to Neytiri whose palm began to rub soothing circles into your lower back.

“Breathe in for us.” You did as he said, eyes screwed shut while inhaling deeply through your nose. “That’s good, angel, now hold it in.” Neytiri’s fingers continued pressing down your back, both finding a way to guide you through your exhale. “Release, lovely girl, nice and easy.” she crooned into your ear, smiling pleased at the feel of your frame relaxing, at the sound of your heart slowing down. “Again, yes?”

Her nose nuzzled very tenderly behind the soft skin of your ear, and Jake’s had his forehead against your own, guiding you through your breaths as your sighs met his mouth. That was the conclusion of their strategy to ease you, an achievement they both knew their abilities could prosper. Though you still felt your anxiety struggling to find a balance with your peace, it was still enough to get them to become equal, caused by none other than these two who know you so deeply, evaluated the precise things you needed despite them being unclear to you.

“You remember that other doc that helped Grace find out how you can breathe in Pandora and your condition? Also helped with Grace’s pregnancy?” You allowed yourself to respond with a ‘yes’ as their warmth started seeping through your system. “ She has a field in REI. Norm and her, Dr. Mason. She was an old friend of Grace too, and since we trusted Grace, and we trusted Dr. Mason with Kiri’s birth, Neytiri and we trust she can help us too…is that okay?”

Neytiri parted from your skin, glancing at you with expectant eyes while Jake smiled. “I trust you two…so yeah. It’s okay.” Just as Jake removed himself from you, Norm, in his avatar form, and you recognized Dr. Mason from the times you visited Grace’s pregnant avatar body, entered the room with a small smile.

“Hello, Y/N. Neytiri. Jake.” You each gave a small nod to the brunette doctor. “How’re you all feeling right now? Especially you, Y/N?”

The question seemed gratuitous, you thought, because despite the other two trying to comfort you, you knew it unnerved Neytiri by the way she kept hold on you and Jake, well he has a fine smile at the moment, but you’re more than certain it may be costing him a lot to keep calm for your sake. And you; distress drenched your glistening face, and your leg bounced unsteadily so by the seams of it, this doctor is not an observing one.

A chuckle dragged out of Jake’s throat, hand clasped once more over your knee while the other reached for Neytiri’s shoulder. “We’re good, she’s good. Just nervous.”

Norm made his way towards Jake, clapping him on the back with a smile thrown your way and Dr. Mason pulled out a stark white rolling stool beneath the desk in front of her. “And that’s okay, being nervous is perfectly normal,” she looked directly towards you, settling down on the stool. “It’s to be expected, but I can guarantee you that the results from HSG you took earlier are perfectly fine; there’s no stoppage within your fallopian tubes. Everything’s functioning just the way it’s supposed to be.”

Your shoulders heaved in relief, and Neytiri took a chance in taking your hand in hers and giving a squeeze. You trust these two, you trusted Grace and the delivery of Kiri, but the valid confirmation contained more impact in this case. “So that means we can move forward or..?”

“There’s something we do have to add onto this,” Norm chirped through Jake’s open question, and you sensed the edge in his voice and the way the doctor’s posture straightened. Neytiri’s eyes flickered between them in question though Jake remained unbothered. “About?”

“Do you know how avatars were made?” You gave him a nod while your wife and husband motioned no, and Norm sighed at this, mostly at Jake, hand rising to pinch the bridge of his nose, muttering ‘Of course you don’t’ before dropping his hand. “Alright, time for the ‘geek’ stuff, as you call it, Jake. Neytiri, I’m sure you can keep up.” You all held back a smirk when Jake rolled his eyes but motioned him to continue.

“The Avatar Program used an embryo, an unborn offspring, that contained a mixture of Na’vi genes, and the human DNA from the one who was selected or volunteered, which I hope you remember was called ‘the driver’ of the body. Then the avatar is in those incubators, waiting to grow,” Norm explained, fingers rising to his brows. “Because the avatar has our exact DNA, they carry our similar features. Brows, eyes, our hands, shoulders, etcetera.”

“Okay, so what does this have to do with a damn child?” Jake’s brow furrowed and you gave him a look before looking back at Norm who proceeded. “Your body is originally an avatar, Jake. Which means you carry our normal human DNA reproduction. Or at least carried. You’ve adapted quite a lot over the months, and we’ve never…seen a human get pregnant by one of the Na’vi.”

“But Grace was pregnant–”

“Her avatar was pregnant,” Dr. Mason corrected. “While her human body was not. And up to this day we are still running tests to see how that was possible. We aren’t sure how Y/N’s body is going to react to this pregnancy. Now,” she put her hands together out in front of her and stared between Neytiri and Jake, then you. “I am going to be blunt, and straightforward. And I need the truth, despite the discomfort, you three.” You all glanced at each other, giving a nod.

“Have you participated in sexual activities?”

Your face flared and throat constricted before clearing it. “I, uh well we–” Jake wasn’t any better, eyes straying from the doctor with his mouth pressed into a line. Yet Neytiri, she gave a solid, unbothered nod, “Yes, we have.”

The doctor chuckled at how your wide eyes snapped towards her, and she only looked at you bewildered at your and Jake’s behavior before looking back at the human in front of her. “There is issue with this?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No there isn’t. I just have a pair of questions that may help with this procedure. It’s alright.” Her brows rose in specification. “I hope there’s plenty of precautions, however. Size is different, size is important. But seeing that Y/N is unharmed, well I’m sure you have taken them, no?” You all nodded in agreement. She smiled before it fell, turning towards Jake. “Have you ever had a carnal outlet within Y/N more than once? And by ‘carnal outlet’, I mean sexual release.”

And so the embarrassing heat crawling up your neck continued flowing with her bluntness. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, a distant look within his eyes as if recalling the events a few nights ago and you just have to resist bringing your hands to hide your face. His bright yellow eyes peered at you, then Neytiri whose expression spoke more than the truth. “Uh, yes. I have.”

She leaned back with a pensive look. “And from the looks of it, Y/N goes on without expecting a child. Now we could do an IVF to see if maybe that’d probably give some results. But even when creating an avatar, trying to bring together Na’vi DNA with a human’s was difficult enough, so there’s no telling how Y/N’s body would react to her egg and your…new sperm being definitely joined so…”

“You saying it won’t work?” Your chest churned a bit at Jake’s words, and Neytiri was becoming fretful from how long this whole conversation had become.

“We’re not sure. There also is something I have been debating on. Yes, joining human and Na’vi DNA came with difficulties, and it is a miracle that we had the opportunity to create avatars. But now here comes the more additional part Norm would like to assist me with.” All eyes were on Norm now whose face portrayed the utterance of slight nervousness. “It will, but the old fashion way. With Y/N…and another human.”

Jake’s eyes squinted. “Hold it. You mean she has to get knocked up by someone else?”

You resisted rolling your eyes and bit your lip. “You mean a sperm donor?” He whipped around and Neytiri’s forehead creased. “What does this mean?”

“It means some other guy’s sperm is gonna be donated to her and used for her to end up pregnant.”

“So the child will not be biologically ours?”

“Guess you can say that.” He grumbled, suddenly not very fond of the idea though you didn’t know what to feel.

“Biologically, no. Legal, yes.” Dr. Mason pointed out. “However,” Norm jumped in, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. “Not just by any guy’s sperm, if not yours, Jake.”

“I thought you just said my sperm ain’t gonna work since she hasn’t been knocked up with every round we’ve had. Then all three of us combined.” He bluntly spat out earning a smack to his bicep. “Jake, I swear—”

“Yes, we have said that. But we’re not talking about the body you have right now if not—”

“—My old body?”

Norm grinned. “exactly.”

“We gave his body a proper burial.” Neytiri frowned deeply, perplexed and perhaps a bit upset at this new information. “You will be breaking tradition if you go and take his body back after all this time.”

The room fell silent, and by the terribly familiar look Norm etched into his face, you already knew what had occurred before he could even begin to speak it into existence. “We have the body.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

The next thing you know, you’re all standing right before Jake’s human body that had been placed in a refrigeration morgue, still in a fine, well condition…alive. The sight of it…him with those once blue eyes hidden beneath completely shut eyelids, tugged on your heart, gulping thickly while you felt your mates’ tension radiating behind you. Neytiri’s gaze was punctured yet emotionless, but Jake, with the way his jaw set, the bareness of his back rippling with an unpleasant chill he didn’t think to feel.

“Why…why do you have this?” Jake rasped and looked at Norm who was leaning against the cold wall. “We wanted to see if your body was unaffected, still alive and well without you being in it… scientist curiosity.” He shrugged.

“And is it?” He nodded your way, peering down at the body. “Unconscious, obviously. But still functional…well except for the,” he motioned downwards, indicating the paralysis of his legs which Jake nodded at.

“And what does this have to do with Y/N and child?” Neytiri practically snarled, inhaling sharply and letting her hands fall over your shoulders, grasping a bit too tight. Dr. Mason, quiet the entire time, pushed her glasses back. “It means we’ll have to retrieve sperm from Jake’s old body to test this conclusion. We can try with your human body’s sperm with IVF as we spoke of the other day you were here, and if it does not meet the results, we can try with your current one now—”

“Hold on, my wife isn’t gonna become some sort of lab experiment.” Jake interrupted. “You should’ve told us all this before, including about this…thing right here. We don’t wanna put any strain on her body. You said so yourself, if putting Na'vi and human DNA was hard, now imagine her growing it in her. Her blood pressure and heart rate are going out of control with this whole process. I don’t want to risk her.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes while Neytiri let out a long sigh with a pang in her chest, signs of frustration and hurt which didn’t get past Dr. Mason. You and Neytiri knew it wasn’t unusual for him to act like this, he’d done the same thing during your previous appointment, and every night he’d lay with you two in his arms, a distant look upon his face as he stared up at the night sky and both of you knew what was gearing in his head, the possible complications and risks that may recite when dealing with your condition. Yes, it has lessened, but your heart hasn’t changed whatsoever. His behavior was not to be disincentive, again, you knew this; Jake, along with Neytiri, both wanted to be informed thoroughly of each step and risk before a big decision was made.

And while the revelation of his human body, the very body and face you had first fallen in love with, had come as a big surprise to you all, his acts could be discouraging sometimes despite the fact that you appreciated his efforts. “Jake, my love, I’m sure she knows all this already.”

You thought Neytiri would’ve the very least agree with your words, and yet; “But perhaps Jake is right in this, ma Y/N. We do not know how your body will react.”

“Neytiri, Jake. Your wife is correct. Given her condition, and the results of her uterosalpingography, my suggestion would be to proceed with the IUI, and if, only if she would agree, to see what will happen with each of Jake’s sperm. this could include medication, to ensure that you are ovulating if you on the other hand would not be, a trig—”

He shook his head, shrugging off Norm's hand. “If I remember correctly, Norm, you said her cycle begins and lasts between 28 and 36 days.”

“ Jake—”

“Yes, but—”

“Nah.” He tore his eyes away from his wives. “I may not be a woman, and I might be slow on some things but I know how your body works, Y/N. We don’t wanna do things that are unnecessary and might harm her.”

“She will begin ovulating in 3 days from now, no? So the procedure…it happens a day or two after, right?” Neytiri questioned curiously, peering down at you as your hands rose to her forearms. But your gaze remained on Jake’s former body, and Dr. Mason’s focus was kept on you and your silence, analyzing your expression. “You both are correct.” It was then that she motioned Norm to cover the body back up when you looked away.

“So we won’t continue with this.”

More of a blunt statement than a question, and this simmered a low groan in your chest forgetting how Jake can be with his tone sometimes. “How does your wife feel about this, Mr. Sully?” Norm’s palm pressed over Jake’s shoulder when he was about to move forward while Neytiri looked down at you, studying every part of your face, the way the muscles of your shoulders constricted beneath her touch.

Those golden eyes tendered for a moment before raising her head to look at Jake, tugging on his arm hard causing him to rip his glare away from Norm. “It is up to Y/N to decide how she wants this to happen, ma Jake.” He turned your way, once hardened eyes returning to their usual softness when upon his girls. You noticed the way his mouth pressed together, how he strained himself from breathing, then asking, “What do you want, angel?”

“Can you let Dr. Mason and I talk alone for a moment?”

Neytiri’s hold on you gave a small pressure before releasing, dropping a kiss to your forehead. “Of course, seykxel txe’lan. Whatever you decide, we will support it.” A sigh relicted from Jake, giving a quick glance to Norm then Dr. Mason before nodding. “We’ll be out here.” You smiled nervously at the way Neytiri eyed the doctor, her voice silent but her eyes speaking louder than audible words.

Their presence, and mainly his hesitation, to let you and the doctor enter the room was something permeable, breathed in by you both. When she closed the door, away from the tensing muddle out there, you exhaled while Dr. Mason quietly returned to her stool.

“I’m uh….sorry about him. And her.” You let out a wary laugh and she simply chuckled and settled with a soft smile. “There is nothing to apologize for, Y/N. I found myself expecting it considering previous encounters,” she waved off your apology, both chuckling before she perched herself forward. “But this isn’t about them right now. This is about you, your body. And as Neytiri said, your decision.”

You took in a slow, deep breath and processed her words, the doctor before you patiently waiting for you to respond. You do so by nodding your head, tightly clasping your hands together over your lap.

Her eyes squinted and cleared her throat. “The way Jake said it was a bit…too harsh. But again, Neytiri was right on point with the ovulation cycle. You are familiar with the function of IUI?”

“I’m familiar with the way Norm explained it all nervously while Jake and Neytiri watched him, yeah.” She chuckled and you couldn’t help smiling, comfortability being a main key in this procedure, and her presence was one connected to it as all the other times you’ve had encounters with her. “She was correct about your ovulating cycle?”

“Yes, I will begin ovulating in about 3 days.”

“Alright! Now, the procedure. You are familiar with it?” Her head tilt followed her question, lenses very slightly sliding down her nose before she adjusted them. Your reflection bounced off them, giving you a glimpse of the curiosity brimming your eyes, brows twisted in concentration. “I am, actually. But a brief review never harmed anyone, did it?”

She grinned amused at your words, grabbing a screen set over her desk and turned it on. “Of course not.”

“On the day of your ovulation, you'll return to me. The chosen sperm sample — chosen as in between Jake’s two forms — will be prepared and cleaned for the procedure. You might feel some mild discomfort from the speculum, but it shouldn't be painful.”

You nodded in agreement with every word, attentively absorbing each sentence. While Norm had already informed you about much of this, hearing it directly from the person conducting the procedure provided an additional sense of reassurance. But the mention of your mates, the choosing of Jake sort of triggered you.

She of course caught on to it, and paused. “The reason why we give you the option of Jake’s both forms is because we are not 100 percent certain if he now can accomplish this. The question being asked of him having an outlet had a major part in this, but since he confirmed he has and you haven’t sounded up pregnant…well we may have to try with his human form.”

“A-and that will for sure work?”

She turned off her screen and placed it down quietly with a sigh. “His human form, yes, I am certain there will be results, perhaps not right away but that’s normal. We can as well try with his Na’vi sperm as well, if you are up for it, though we may have to do IVF instead for that process.”

She attentively explained the difference to the process of IVF, and you kept up in order to understand what she meant.

“But there is something you may like to know, and I didn’t say to the other two because I need to hear from you first;” She held a tight smile, and you anxiously yearned for the doctor to finally articulate whatever it is she had to. “Neytiri and Jake, they’re both mated before Eywa, correct?”

You gave a nod and her gaze punctured on you a bit longer. “Well, I conclude that because they are a mated Na’vi pair, both their zygote may, perhaps, be able to combine with your own egg, given that the fetus may have not only yours and Jake’s genes, but biologically Neytiri’s as well.”

The idea thrilled and terrified you, but mainly thrilled especially clearly for the reason all three of you shared a part in this, by the prospect of welcoming not only a new life, but the thought of nurturing a child who would embody the unique blend of their shared genetics.

“But, there’s no exact response with how this will react with Neytiri in the circle. My theorized research indicates that it leans more on the positive side, though there still are flaws within this. So, to put it shortly; would you like to do IUI with Jake’s former body? If it doesn’t work, we can try again. We can do three to four rounds before and only if you decide to move on with IVF and inform Jake and Neytiri about this.”

You chewed on your lip contemplating our decision making and slight worries. You did want to take whatever chance you could if it meant birthing your own child, experiencing motherhood, fulfilling the dream of giving your mates an additional symbolism of your love. With that, you gave a firm nod. “I’ll do it. And the IVF.”

She gave you a smile, one that tried to bring some sort of tension release from your posture. “Alright then. Do you have any more questions for me?”

You inhaled, debating the single query that rattled within your brain at the moment, “is choosing this making me self absorbed?

“Having a baby makes one self absorbed?”

Your locks swayed from your head shake no. “Of course not but…given my heart, the big possibilities that might not be good, the stress. Me being human and in Pandora. How will the baby turn out…human or one of the Na’vi?”

“What Neytiri calls you..seykxel txe’lan. It means strong heart, correct?”

“Yes..”

“Do you believe that you have a strong heart?”

“I do.”

She proceeded. "Life holds immense value. Opting to utilize the precious gift of life bestowed upon you to bring forth another being is a weighty decision, especially considering your profound awareness of your given circumstances, but again; your physical capabilities are powerful. Your heart is strong, and it’s choosing to take this step because of that strength. You know this because it’s yours. While there may be uncertainty about whether this response fully addresses your inquiry, it summarizes the center of the situation as best as possible." Her mouth curled. “And the last one…let’s leave it up to God, or Eywa, as the Na’vi say.”

A watery laugh fell from your lips as you accepted her choice of words and nodded. You know you can handle this greatly. For your heart is strong, and it is under your knowing.

Dancing. A profound significance within the Na’vi, though Y/N and Jake witness it through the Omaticaya’s culture. It served as a vibrant and intricate expression of their traditions and communal bonds. It was strongly included after the hunt Jake and Neytiri had succeeded in, a Hunt Festival. As both their feet were led into the bustling of their Hometree by the Olo’eyktan’s daughter, they couldn’t help the amazement enhancing their expressions from a spirited atmosphere promised of not just mere entertainment but rather a living testimony of the rich tapestry of their heritage.

Her eyes were blown out, mouth elevated in a smile while Jake held a wide grin, both of you being maneuvered through the tugs Neytiri gave your arms, her share of an anticipating smile brightening the night. “Come, faster!”

“We’d be moving faster if this one here would speed up,” Jake smirked down at Y/N, a glower meeting his expression. “Not my fault I’m tinier,” she grumbled, a screech of surprise following along as he deftly carried her, arms thrown across his too broad shoulders. “If you drop me—“

“Oh, how the tables have turned in our size, angel.” The usual steady octave of his voice morphed into a tuneful hum, and Neytiri’s smile grew impossibly larger at the sight of them before grabbing Jake.

“Hurry.”

Tall and graceful figures shimmered of many colors to the rhythm of enticing music permeating the air. Many of the Na’vi’s blue frames were accentuated with extensively used bundles of feathers and long multicolored cords tied around their long arms and legs. And that included Neytiri, whose once braided hair had been released to free, dark tendrils cascading across her back, swaying with every quick step she took towards the one they called Tsu’tey, the scientist Norm, and Grace Augustine, and Jake settled down between his two friends with Y/N still in his arms, not bothering to set her down.

Eytukan, father of Neytiri, head of the clan and Olo’eyktan, and Mo’at, mother of Neytiri and the clan’s spiritual leader, discerned her daughter, then Jake, and after days of slight hesitation around the human’s presence, Eytukan found ease with her the moment he saw his mate confirmed she was not a harm, and was chosen alongside Jake. The Na’vi too had been skeptical, some still remained that way when seeing how Eywa had given a sign to not kill not just the avatar, but the human.

Though the acceptance from their Tsahik and Olo’eyktan gave them a sliver of peace, some disregarding their presence, others bowing their heads, some even greeting the pair. But right now, everyone’s concentration was bored into their dancing, into a spiritual connection that harmonized them with nature, embodying a profound respect for the flora and fauna that surround all that is living around them. And there was Neytiri, wavering fastidiously between all bodies unknown to Y/N and Jake, and out of all people she decided to keep her glowing eyes fixated on them both, teeth slightly bared in a smile.

Jake took part in conversing with Tsu’tey and other warriors, reciting the events that had taken place during the hunt, those around him loudly favoring him and he sported a large grin when Tsu’tey clapped him in the back before his attention returned to Neytiri, absorbing her fluent movements and beautiful presence, then the girl seated on his lap.

“You’re pretty wearing that, y’know?” Y/N shuddered beneath his touch on her neck, looking over only to meet vehement eyes and a small smirk, his freckles profounding his features beautifully. She beamed up at him, knowing what he meant by his words; she wore clothing the Na’vi had gifted her with, and her hair had been brought back, a small amount of narrow braids being styled by none other than Neytiri, twinkling yet light-colored spherules and cords woven through when the braid had been halfway finished, and a few strands had found their place in swaying across your temples and brows.

An angel she is, was what Jake’s heart thumped the more he looked at her, and it seemed he wasn’t the only one who thought so. A breathless and vibrant Neytiri had stepped out of the crowd and crouched in front of her, her legs transposing her much closer to them. “Jake is right;” The tips of her long fingers skimmed across a braid sitting comely over Y/N’s bare collarbone, right near a handcrafted necklace similar to Jake’s. “Sevin. Pretty. Very pretty tonight.” The human’s poor wayward heart prospered a fervor warmth at the tender curve Neytiri’s lips painted for her, at the words uttered for and because of her. She tried pushing back air from her lungs by clearing her throat, unaware of Jake’s gaze inspecting both of them scrupulously. “T-thank you…it’s because of you though. Irayo, Neytiri. (thank you)”

Her ears twitched at the sound of her name perfectly pronounced by Y/N’s lips. “Kea tìkin. (You’re welcome.)” The very lips she couldn’t help let her gaze fall upon for a brief moment before looking between her and Jake. A grin transformed her face, “You must dance.”

Her hand reached for his arm while the other went to Y/N’s knee, and his head whirled to her who recognized the strike of panic in him. “N-nah, I’m good. Not much of a dancer. Besides, Y/N is too small for that.” In true recognition, she knew how he hadn’t had any contact with dancing due to his paralysis back on Earth, especially considering he never had the apparent time when he joined the Marine. So, instead of prying him to stay and playfully scolding him for remarking her size, she slid off his lap and patted his cheek. “Go.”

“It is the way.” Neytiri insisted, giving Y/N’s knee a squeeze before grabbing his arm once more.

He peered between them, eyes squinted and searching Y/N’s round ones with his mouth pursed. “You sure?” Tsu’tey, the one betrothed to Neytiri, had an almost like scowl across his face but stayed quiet, watching how Neytiri beamed when he gave in at Y/N’s eager nod, pushing him into Neytiri’s hold. “Yes, now stop being a baby and dance!”

She giggled when Jake dropped a kiss to her head, and before him being dragged away he pulled along Grace who exclaimed in surprise, Norm laughing out loud before joining the three.

As the tempo of the music started to escalate, Neytiri positioned Jake in front of her, motioning for him to follow her movements along with everyone else’s around them; her palms extended out in front of her, and Jake’s brushed against hers before taking a small step forward and mirrored the way her hands shimmered and arms slowly glided above her head. Sparks of amber materialized, both their irises flickered when the pads of their fingers strode across one another’s, those sparks simmering with each of their movements and feathered touches. His chest racketed in an awful familiarity when with Y/N, throat tightening the more his eyes bore within hers. He resisted the urge to encase his palms around her forearms and wrap them around himself, firmly reminding himself of those surrounding them, of his angel watching them. And yet when he spared a glance her way, he saw her with the warmest of smiles, skin gaining its precious glow and eyes tender yet wondrous while staring at them both.

He had comprehended the way Y/N had grown incredibly close to Neytiri, and Neytiri never once denied or ignored her existence as a human. Sure, like any other of the Na’vi, the female warrior detained slight skepticism, but that was at the beginning. He discerned the way Neytiri treated Y/N with the equal amount of protection and precision as him; how her body would stay close to Y/N’s when walking through the forest, or how with her being human she was aware to her dietary being distinctly different to the Na’vi, so she would ride Seze and fly where Grace, Jake, and Norm’s human bodies resided in and her former mentor would help her gather nutritions for Y/N, returning to Pandora’s forests and firmly imply for the human to eat. Or how her thin patience with him is spared with Y/N’s quickness in picking up on their culture, traditions, and language. And if he wasn’t indicating something that was clearly noticeable, she approached not just Y/N but him with small gestures of affection.

From the lightest of touches to the specters of gazes and curls of gorgeous smiles or deep scowls and scolding remarks (mainly towards him but he found it entertaining) ; he, along with Y/N, sensed how grand Neytiri’s presence captivated them. He felt accepted with his Y/N, understood, acknowledged with his Y/N. He was saved because of her pure existence. But for the past months, Neytiri had made her scorching mark within their relationship, one that was the complete opposite of incapacitating. Sanctuary resided with both Y/N and her, safety, protection, strength, affirmation with himself, with his existence in this new world, completely disintegrating the main reason as to why he agreed to be a part of the Na’vi, and instead flourished a new desire within himself.

Those radiant specks ignited violently when the length of their fingers collided within the other’s, each speck accumulating between their clasped palms. Overwhelmed was her expression, eyes fluttering with the realization of what had occurred before gently pushing him away for the next part of the dance. He chuckled, giving one more look towards Y/N before devoting his complete focus to this dance, more so Neytiri.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Giggles and laughter wafted through the expansive canvas of Pandora's azure sky, where the rhythmic beats of tree drums faded into the background, becoming the least of their concerns. They ambled through the forest, their joyous expressions painting the scene with the happiest of faces.

"You could've joined us, Y/N. We would have found a way." Neytiri's graceful strides carried her among the radiant flora, huffing a giggle as Y/N grumbled when a sizable leaf brushed across her face, only for Jake to effortlessly pluck it away and swipe it aside.

"No worries, Tiri." A sweet smile graced her lips as she addressed the statuesque woman. "It might have been a bit awkward for you to kneel down in front of me or something."

A chuckle emanated from Jake as his hand descended gently over her head. "would've teamed you up with a youngster. Imagine how cute that’s be." Her captivating eyes sharply rolled in his direction. In times past, he might have found it not only adorable but also slightly intimidating. Yet now, he found himself in the realm of charm, fingers tenderly stroking beneath her chin, a quick move near Neytiri before Y/N could manage to push him away from the apartment of delightful moments.

Her cunning was evident, for as his elongated strides carried him farther from her, his tail swayed freely, exposed and vulnerable. Seizing the opportunity, she deftly entwined her fingers around its end, exerting a gentle tug. A hiss escaped his lips, a feeble attempt to feign annoyance, yet it dissolved swiftly as the infectious sound of their shared laughter enveloped them. The girls' giggles cascaded into uncontrollable fits of mirth, captivating him to the point where he couldn't resist joining in with a hearty chuckle.

He hunched down, pressing his palms firmly against his thighs, his gaze piercing as it locked onto her. "Come here," he commanded, his voice laced with anything but authority. A high-pitched squeal reverberated in his ears, her nimble feet propelling her towards the vibrant glow of neon lights. The sound of their resounding footfalls echoed in pursuit of her every step.

Pandora's breath danced through her hair, unfettered and carefree. The liberating sensation enveloped her as she sprinted, releasing laughter that lingered in the air with breathless grace. Gradually, her pace decelerated, the absence of their footsteps prompting a deliberate and attentive pause. Amid the hushed surroundings, she found herself captivated by the radiance of a luminous plant, its allure seizing her focus. Delicately, her fingers traced the intricate leaves, a smile softly adorning her lips.

A yelp left her throat as long, firm arms curl around your waist and raw warmth pressed into her from behind. “Gotcha,” Jake murmured into her neck, lips brushing her thrumming pulse point. For Eywa’s sake. “Got scared? Serves ya right for grabbing on my tail.”

Just as she’s willing her heart rate to slow down and closed her eyes for not even a second, Neytiri’s face appeared right in front of Y/N earning another jolt from her. “What is wrong with you!”

Neytiri’s laughter resonated with a joyous, airy cadence. A soft breeze swerved into her ears, finding its destination within Y/N’s heart and gifted it with the strong, steady beat it grandly needed in this moment.

“Forgive me, Y/N.” The flash of stark rows gleamed in a great smile. “Jake thought it would be fun. Are you alright?

She let out a breathy huff and allowed herself to melt in Jake’s embrace, reaching for Neytiri’s hands who without hesitation granted them to her. It was a common thing to witness now, the petite physical interactions between the two girls. Jake didn’t mind however, he enjoyed seeing them get along.

“I’m fine…just catching my breath.” She divulged, inhaling deeply only for her to catch Neytiri’s and Jake’s absorbing scents, before her elbow lightly nudged his torso. “Scared me. Rude ass.”

Jake’s arms tightened ever so slightly, thumbs stroking the unclad juts of her hip bones in something similar to an apology. “M’bad, angel.” He hummed, baring his teeth in a grin. “But it would’ve been funny to see you dance with a kid your exact size.”

“Jake.”

“It’s the truth! Imagine slow dancing with one, that’s be so adorable—”

She groaned, “Jake can you not!”

She released Neytiri to push his heavy arms away before reaching for one of his hands, then Neytiri’s and tugged her forward. “C’mon Tiri!” The young hunter, however, had a pensive expression, their words from earlier peeking a wonder in her.

“There is dancing in sky people’s home?”

Y/N’s current movements came to a halt, her head whirling towards the Na’vi woman. Jake let out a laugh edged with ridicule, as if her words were the punchline of a joke towards humankind until he saw her face. “Oh shit, you’re serious?”

“Oh shit, yes I am serious.” Mocking was her tone, and Y/N chuckled at her use of ‘shit’. “You didn’t cover this in the school Grace taught in?” he debriefed, head tilting as he stood up fully.

She nodded, “She did tell us this. But not specifics, another topic she moved to and we never knew if sky people danced different than us.” Her tresses fell behind her shoulders as she too stood to her full height, leaving Y/N to meet the center of her abdomen. The human took an abrupt step back, cheeks glowing with a subtle flush at how her tinier hand was still engulfed by Neytiri’s.

“They do dance, but not all have the same dance styles.”

“Dance styles?”

“Y-yeah. Like traditional dances, similar to your people’s, or break dancing, disco dancing, salsa, ballet, and a lot more.” Y/N smiled up at Neytiri as she proceeded her words. “What about the one Jake spoke of? Slow dancing?”

Her smile widened, glancing over at Jake who took in a breath before explaining. “It’s a dance—”

“Obviously, Sherlock.”

“Y/N, angel don’t interrupt me.”

“What is Sherlock?”

“Neytiri, honey, I’ll explain later—”

“Anyways! Slow dancing is a type of style where there’s two people, right? They get very close, sorta like a hug, I guess you can say. And you just,” his body swayed side to side in a silly motion that made Y/N hold back a giggle while Neytiri’s lips pursed. “Sway.”

“And, anyone can participate in this?” Y/N nodded, “but it’s seen as an intimate dance. Like, for couples.” The warrior stayed quiet, trying to gather her thoughts together to express them. “Have…you and Jake acted in slow dancing when both on earth?”

Jake snorted, his interlocked hand with Y/N’s swinging. “Nah, we couldn’t.” Neytiri didn’t understand fully, and they didn’t expect her to, and for the time being, they didn’t say anything just yet. She nodded in acknowledgement, respecting their silence and thought for a moment. “Would you like to?”

“Yeah…but like he said; I’m too short for it.”

“Size does not matter in intimacy.” The human blinked in surprise, staring up at Neytiri. “I suppose you’re right…but we need the right tune for it.”

“And tune as in song.” Jake interjected. “And we don’t happen to carry some portable speaker, so…”

“Song is all around us, Jake.” Neytiri was right. The lush and vibrant landscape was alive with a wide range of animal noises, creating an immersive auditory experience. The woods resounded with the chittering and chirping of hexapedal creatures like the woodsprites and viperwolves. Their interactions generated a lively background noise, enhancing the sense of a thriving ecosystem. The ground-dwelling direhorses, hammerhead titanotheres, and other unique beings added their own distinct vocalizations to the rich tapestry of Pandora's wildlife.

He cleared his throat and Y/N’s smile widened. “Do you want to learn, Tiri?”

Her determined nod made her laugh, and turned to Jake. “Mr. Good Height, you’re dancing with her.”

His brows jumped up. “Don’t wanna sound like an asshole, but I already danced with her.”

“You can do it again, can’t ya?”

“Why don’t you?”

Y/N hummed in false thought, leaning right in front of Neytiri and motioned her arms around her lower waist while Neytiri could only stare at what she was doing. “This a good way to slow dance?”

“She can get on her knees for you.” She caught the glint of mischief in his eyes, and she rolled her eyes in hopes to cover up the heat rushing to her cheeks. “No, that’d be awkward — Jake, come on.”

He looked over at Neytiri, debating, seeking if she wanted the option of dancing with him. He in reality did want to, but he wanted Y/N to have part in this as well, so she could feel that strong affinity he too felt. “Alright, but you have a part in this as well.”

She seemed unconvinced, pulling his arm in order for him to get closer to Neytiri. “Yeah, yeah I will take part by telling you how to. Jake, put a hand right…" She hovered his palm right over the arch of her back, his arm practically enveloping her, and she was fully aware of the way Neytiri’s breath sharpened and looked up at her. “You okay?”

She nodded, “What must I do?”

“Put one hand on his shoulder.”

The muscles constricted beneath her gentle touch, Jake clearing his throat and rose his other hand. “Gimme yours, now.” Both their hands now clasped together, and Y/N’s smiled softly at the way her four fingers glided through his human-like ones. Jake nodded as in remembrance of what occurred next and took lead. “Now, we just slowly move…”

Her eyes flickered to his for a brief moment, a rare shyness pervading her features and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Relax…just follow my lead, alright?” Their chests brushed against one another at the delicate sway he indicated, bare feet motions small yet shockingly skillful steps, and Neytiri couldn’t help but stumble at the turn he gave her. He laughed, shaking his head when she glared his way and pulled away. “Sorry, it’s normal though. C’mon, let’s try again.”

“It will happen again?”

“It could, Tiri.” Y/N said, both glancing her way only to see her sitting on the glowing ground with an anticipating grin stretching her mouth. “But that’s okay! Just keep trying, okay?” She huffed out an ‘okay, yes’, resuming her position near the male who grinned at her. “Let’s repeat that motion again, okay? Just look at my feet if you want…lemme guide you through it.”

Lighthearted he felt from her curious eyes, at her small ‘like this?’, at the way she entrusted her body in his closeness, the way her nose would crunch up in small frustration before he would assure her it’s okay, Y/N giving her an encouraging smile when she looked aside. A few minutes had passed, and they had already made a full circle around the spot they’d been in, and she was wondrously catching onto the dance, his hands guiding her movements. Neytiri, initially skeptical, found joy in the dance. It was different from what she’d grown up with, much more simple, much more simplicity of contact that beheld pureness yet an intense amount of sensations…perhaps that is why she enjoyed it.

“There ya go, good job…” Excited, round globes made from shades of gold and green engulfed him, her ears fluttering at the small praise she had received. A few more languid beats went by, and subconsciously their faces inclined closer, his chin slightly dipped down causing his nose to feather down hers. Upon this act, those ember cinders convoked once more, just like the earlier dance. He embraced them, however, and she didn’t push away either.

It was like one of those old romantic films witnessed back on Earth, Y/N thought, her hand clasped against her cheek as her elbow hoisted over her thigh. But more profound and distinct, and maybe it was for the fact that they were in a whole other, much more preternatural world, its gorgeous fluorescent lights somehow intensifying their tall enchanting figures, the way their tails surged in synchronization with their now deft feet that moved across the glowing ground.

The once thought to be weak heart of hers encapsulated in her chest swelled when their movements came to a halt, and two pairs of golden irises turned to her, and a smiling Neytiri pulled away from him to grab the girl from her current sitting spot. “He said you have part in this too… come.”

Three beings, one apart of the Na’vi by birth, one once a Sky Warrior and now a part of the Omaticaya Na’vi, and one human prophesied by Eywa to live and walk among them as if one of Na’vi, could be seen dancing in Pandora’s forest, nocturnal creatures assisting in the moment with their light as Jake gently twirled the human and Neytiri with each of his hands. And what could be heard were the aerance laughters and giggles from the three, a bond just as much intimate and reflective as forming tsaheylu tethering the three’s hearts together in this precise moment.

Enduring the act of waiting wasn't a preference, but you were well acquainted with it. Your moral patience, unwillingly cultivated, now functioned as a whole waged implement. A day after your appointment with Dr. Mason was reduced to 3 weeks, requiring you to wait during that time before taking the next step for an HCG test or a pregnancy-like test that had been created.

Yet with that being said, the enduring act of waiting wasn’t one for you at times. Neytiri, however, as much as she wished for results if you’d been blessed with a child, stayed firm to her patience, trying to trust the process of sprouting life within your womb — though you did catch on to how odd and perhaps even terrifying it seemed to her, the numerous steps to be taken in this, how it couldn’t compare to the simplicity of Na’vi birth ( though in your perspective of a human, it did seem curiously strange to the way they gave birth as well —). And even the Tsahik had been involved with the hopes of a child, attentive to any signs the Great Mother may give. You did notice the amount of times Neytiri went to go see her mother, and when she would return she was reticent about it, a bit too curt followed by a minor smile. Perhaps you were thinking things too thoroughly, but she became slightly distant.

Jake was…unpredictable to determine his exact emotions, to say the least. One would think he’d be involved in the constancy of reassurance, but of course, actuality is a must in these cases. Erratic he was, deriving within his acts as Clan Leader a bit more often than he would usually have to do. Monitoring for the two little ones was never a complaint for you, always happily complying because you adore them endlessly, yet constantly doing so while trying to monitor your own health and Neytiri and Jake attending their own duties spawned something distinct from their habitual affectations.

Jake arrived home much later at night, his appetite strange, and he kept more quiet than he’d ever been with you on specific things. His act with his two children wasn’t any different, while he would hold and smile at them, his eyes carried a distant look. Now every time you held and played with them, that neutral demeanor would be there. One you haven’t seen since the conflict between the RDA and the Na’vi. You or Neytiri didn’t pry on it, but you knew Neytiri knew as to why he was behaving like this. When nightfall came, however, they never neglected in holding you close, almost too pleading, providing you with their sole warmth. You more than understood that they had their duties as Olo’eyktan and wife of Olo’eyktan to fulfill, how it may take partial time from your family. But now was a time you needed them more than ever, and confronting the two was bound to come with difficulties, because even Neytiri would be out the second sunlight peeked out in the sky.

So, when Neytiri had informed you she was going to meet her mother for something she didn’t specify any details about and the once bright day had come down to nightfall, you decided to notify Mo’at only for her to tell you she knew nothing of meeting with her daughter, and Jake had been on the calendar to train a few young warriors, your mother-in-law more than willingly stayed with her grandchildren for you to visit a specific spot in the forest, one you were familiar with from the many times you and your mates spend many loving moments there early on in your relationship. And of course, there you found the two glowing forms; Neytiri with her nose flaring as her mouth twisted into a frown, and Jake’s eyes came with tiredness and sadness all at once, ears flattening at the words coming out of your wife’s mouth.

“She has every right to know! I do not like this — the way you act, the way you keep secrets. You ask me to keep from her and she suffers more. I cannot— I have to say something!”

“Look, I know, believe me I know but how do you think she’s gonna take this? She’s not gonna take it well! We’re doing her a favor. Her heart—”

“Neytiri. Jake.”

They both spun your direction way before you could even utter their name, for they heard you coming a mile away, and their twisted features somewhat eased at the sight of you and Jake plastered a smile while Neytiri’s lips tightened together into a thin line.

“Hey, angel.” In three long strides Jake reached you, kneeling down and looped his long arms around you, the tip of his pink, cat-like nose nudging your cheek, and you couldn’t deny his affection. Your arms instantly wrapped around his shoulders as he gave you a swift but soft kiss, and you couldn’t help but follow his lips, wanting a much longer kiss. But you internally groaned when he pulled back, his brows furrowed as he looked at you. “Watcha doing out here all alone? It’s not safe, Y/N—”

“Do you two have any idea where you should be right now?”

His frown dropped and his chest bowed with a deep breath. “I know we’re supposed to be at home right now but—”

“And yet you two are not—” he rose to his full height, back turned your way and one of his hands came to tangle into his locs. “Why aren’t you at home?”

Jake could only look at anything but you, but Neytiri did the opposite, her gaze punctured over your distressed face, ears twitching at the sound of your heartbeat, at the way you tried keeping a steady rhythm and balance in your voice. “You’re not going to say anything, aren’t you?”

Her lips parted, eyes saddening before alarming at the frantic increase of your heart. “Ma Jake — ma stxe’lan, mawey-”

Jake had already turned to you, rushing to your side and splayed a large palm over the small of your back. “Baby, c’mon breathe for us.”

“Y—you two knew—” Neytiri was on your other side, fingers soothing over your chest for she knew how an ache emerged there when you tried to speak with a frantic heart. “Lovely girl, you must breathe.” But your head shakes were equivalent to the speed your heart did, a muskiness of tears warping your vision. “You knew. You knew, you knew! That’s why you’re not here—”

“Angel, please. Just please, pause and breathe.” You gave in to the soothing circles their fingers did over your skin, inhaling and exhaling as best as you could despite the jabbing pain in the back of your throat. But right when you nearly let yourself fall into their arms, you pushed from their touch, and Neytiri’s eyes never left yours while Jake inspected if you were hurt.

“So I’m not…I'm not pregnant.” Jake’s head dipped down, and it surprised you when he stayed silent and Neytiri was the one to respond, her mouth pushed down imitating the frown that could’ve drawn together her said-brows, allowing it to morph that beautiful face of hers. “Kehe, tiyawn. ( no love ) You are not.”

It didn’t bring you any ounce of comfort, however, when it was her simple statement to corroborate your doubts. “And how long have you both known, huh?” you demanded, inhaling deeply.

“Your scent is….it resumed the same five days ago.”

“So, for five days, you both — not one but the TWO of you decided to keep this from me instead of being honest? Do we take part in lying now in this….whatever this is now?” Jake’s head snapped up at your last question, attempting to reach for you yet you declined, pushing his hands away while taking another step back. Both their tails swiveled in a distress-like matter as they stood to their full height, his more agitated and flinching from your shove while hers tried to keep steady, trying to contain herself from reaching for you. Hurt scrunched Jake’s face and his ears demolished at the sides of his head, and you deciphered their expressions in a second; never once had you denied their touch, and not having the privilege to touch you in this exact moment stirred them unwell.

“Angel, please lemme explain–”

“You need to stop telling her to keep things from me,” you snapped at him, then turned to her, “And since when do you listen to this idiot? My goodness, Neytiri!” you pause, trying to gather your thoughts, trying to compose yourself yet there’s a break in the octave of your hoarse voice when you whisper, “Do you guys even care about this? Is this some joke to you?”

Jake practically threw himself down on his knees before you, and in spite of your objections, both palms cupping your cheeks so very softly but desperately, and due to their size his fingers nearly curl around the sides of your head, soon falling over your shoulders. “N-no! We care about your wellbeing, it’s not some joke.”

“T-then why…why didn’t you say anything?” Neytiri, graceful even when in distress, crouched down, her legs ingeniously treading towards you, settling behind you and she slowly reached for you. A strangled breath left her throat and you realized she was neglecting her own stream of tears as yours were being swatted away by her fingertip the second they fell to your cheekbones. “We…we, your heart–”

“I didn’t want us hurting you like this, angel. Her as much as I didn’t want to cause you this pain.” Jake admitted, amber eyes focused on you when you looked up at him. “But, of course we…I did this anyway, and here you two are crying. I asked this of her, and I’m sorry. To both of you.” One of his hands reached to curl around the side of Neytiri’s trembling jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“You should’ve said something sooner.”

“Oeru txoa livu. (please forgive me)” Neytiri crooned softly, “My lovely girl, forgive me, forgive us for being skxawngs.” Her gentle kisses met your forehead, temple, your fluttering eyelids, then each of your cheeks, and lastly your lips. You allowed it, for the reason being that her lips – and his soft, hesitant touches – could perhaps be one of the few things to keep you anchored right now.

Of course, this result had been one not unexpected, nor was it unusual, for Dr. Mason had previously discussed the success rate of your procedure, providing you with statistics that were not the most promising. Despite this, you held onto a sliver of hope, reaching out for even a small connection between the two of you, in hopes to twine paths together. But faith was a funny and most curious companion when it came to you, remaining capricious and challenging, frequently draining and depleting you until you were left with little energy to fight back.

Jake looked at you with much rounder eyes, the misery within them finally seeping through your heart and sighed before reaching for him, and planted a very light kiss over his mouth in terms to ease him up. Though the emotion remained on his face, his ears stopped finicking and slightly twitched the very same time his mouth did so.

“Oel tsun fìtsenge ( I am going home. )” Neytiri’s hand captured your own negligently and stood up. You looked up at her honey-like orbs, and while tears still resided in both your eyes, you recognized what could be seen as relief in hers. Relief that the truth came to the surface despite the cost of sadness. “I will come with you, ma Y/N.” You smiled a bit and nodded, about to take a turn in leaving until Jake’s own hand tightly grasped yours and Neytiri’s. It was as if Jake’s entire being was intricately woven into the quivering grasp of your hands. As you gazed into his profound eyes, you could sense his fear growing. He was afraid that if he let you go without following you, he may never lay eyes on you again. It was an irrational fear, one that he surely knew deep down, but his mind was clouded by emotions. The moment he saw you both in tears, his rationale vanished. The tears that continued to stream down your face were a result of his deceit, and he could not bear to see you in such pain.

He gave both your hands a tight squeeze and a wobbly smile, “I’ll come home too.”

Once greeting and bidding the babies a good night’s sleep and Mo’at – giving her daughter a look that indicated a proper talk – took her leaving, once resided in the comfortable size of the hammock and enwrapped in their long limbs, you forfeited your body to them, and resentment fled from you. To be sincere, most of the whole time, resentment was not all directed towards your wife and husband ( though yes they do manage to frustrate the living hell out of you sometimes ), but most of it was pointedly aimed at yourself; your body, but most of it pointedly aimed at your so called strong heart.

Neytiri’s arms were fully encased around you, her lips sweetly falling over your temple over and over again as she rocked you in hopes to provide you with nothing but comfort, wanting only to bring what you always brought to them; peace.

Jake said nothing as his arm splayed over yours and Neytiri’s waist. His silence brought you to tilt your head up at him only to see he’d already been staring down at you. Reading Jake’s expressions was one you did with pride, and yet tonight you couldn’t fully unravel what was going on in that head of his. But a warmth washed his features for a moment before kissing your forehead, and it was then that you allowed your words to exhale up your throat; “I want to try again.”

Neytiri smiled softly down at you and gave you a firm nod, while Jake simply hummed and stared up at the night sky as he tucked your head beneath his chin and pulled Neytiri closer, both unaware of the single tear gliding down his cheek. “Like Neytiri said; your desires are our desires, angel.”

Months in Pandora carried on an atmosphere filled with prosperity and peace after the First Pandoran War, the war of Pandora, the RDA-Na’vi conflict, or the Time of Great Sorrow, as the Na’vi titled it as. And while mourning those whose lives had been lost to the Sky People came with a heavy process, now was a time to thrive, to live, to celebrate the new life given to the Na’vi.

The wondrous news of a seed of life planted within Neytiri’s womb had been taken as a gift from Eywa, any child was of course, yet this was the first birth indicated after the mournful events, and this was a token for the dedication the People stayed firmed to for Eywa’s child, Pandora.

“What does a fortress mean to you, Tiri and Jake?” She laid beside the two longer figures, her hand enveloped one of Neytiri’s that laid flat over her slightly swollen stomach, Jake’s atop theirs as well. Her eyes admired Neytiri for a while, then turned to Jake and both, too, admired the human in return. It had been months after going into battle with the RDA’s people, and the three — the strong, enthralling bond now revealed from the exterior of their hearts and shun brightly upon the ancient lights of Pandora’s deep blue sky — decided to spend their celebration together, a silent prayer for those lost to the destruction and chaos brought upon them, a silent prayer being said to Eywa for gifting them this moment of life and peace.

Jake shifted to lay on his side, his other hand reaching the girl’s delicate side softly before moving to stroke over Neytiri’s belly, with the simplicity of making them tremble below his touch, creating the motion for a while.

Neytiri nestled closer, lips elevating when she led her hand and placed it over the human’s chest, feeling the rise and fall created, inhaling the curious yet addicting flowery aroma wafted through her, ears picking up the melody Y/N’s heart tuned. It was absurd to her, when she first heard the news of how her love was thought to carry a weak heart, and here it was; Beating loud and clear. “Fortress means a place of safety?”

She hummed in response. “Safety is one of the meanings of it…but there’s also a sense of strength. Protection. A place of peace for one. Maybe even emotional resilience. Refuge and stability.” She giggled at the sensation of Neytiri’s cheek nuzzling against the skin of her shoulder, head turning to press a feather-like kiss over the azure tones of her forehead. “I admire the way you speak of things, ma Y/N.” she muttered, pupils growing within those golden hues peering up at Y/N.

The girl had an approximate, clear picture of Neytiri’s face, of the way bioluminescent specks glittering the pretty clashes of her sky and imperial blue complexion, and all the respiration once provided in her lungs seemed to have been pummeled away the longer she stared. Y/N’s soft grin clashed with the neutral twinkles of her eyes, “And I admire having you here with me, my love.”

Jake was quiet the entire time before offering his own response, for while his eyes took in the two women that had become his haven, his mind too wrapped up in the plagues of the current battle against the Sky People, if what, who he’d gained in this precise moment could have been torn from his grasp. The what if’s led to losing Neytiri if it hadn’t gone right, the child in her womb, the condition Y/N had, the possibility of losing her. The death of Grace, his dear friend who once despised him and grew to love him and care for him and Y/N. The haunting of many of the warrior’s deaths because of this fight, because of his acts and leads. It taunted him, it nearly tried tugging him back into a darkness he’d once been in.

“Come back to us, Jake.”

Aching was his heart yet he didn’t project it. Not when his Neytiri’s fingers reached and gently stroked across the side of his scalp, soon threading down the cascades of braids fallen over his shoulder. Not when he witnessed the content emitting from the two laying beside him. Not when peace now resided in their minds and thawed away those emotions. Not when they looked at him with the warmest of smiles, waiting for his response. So, he continued brushing the pads of his fingers down their skin, and he waited for the inevitable shiver to ripple through them, humming in satisfaction from the way her skin prickled beneath goosebumps.

“Fortress is the structure of those who give you both peace and strength and refuge, right?” They nodded, he hoisted himself much closer to them, his long arm enveloping them both.

“You became peace, angel, that heart of yours became my peace,” Y/N shuddered beneath his touch on her neck, hues boring into his ardent golden ones and his soft smile. He turned towards Neytiri, thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. “When we first came here, you became our refuge and strength, Neytiri,” Her name was enough to indicate that nickname that solely defined her; goddess of nature. Endearing it was, the way it perfected from his lips as they gently pressed over hers.

“You two, you girls are the embodiment of what fortress means to me. And this little bean right here,” his palm flattened over Neytiri’s womb, a fatherly sense blooming within his heart, “Is a part of our fortress.”

“Ma Jake…” Her smiling lips parted with a slow exhale, gazing at him in gentleness, and Y/N couldn’t help but giggle bashfully at the way he placed a firm kiss over her forehead. He grinned at their expressions, enjoying that one feeling that always followed every time he left them flustered. “It’s true though. This right here, is a fortress. One without the other is just bound to fall apart, and I don’t ever want to experience that again without my girls.”

“Pray this to Eywa, Jake. That my heart has the opportunity to give us peace in this fortress. That we have even more purpose to push forward.”

He hoisted himself on his elbow and pulled the girl between him and Neytiri, reached for her palm, and extended it to Y/N’s chest, his hand soon following afterwards. Clamorous, wavering, yet full of life was the girl’s heart. “Give me your hand,” he instructed, and her dainty palm was led to Neytiri’s chest; unnatural, graceful, firm. He then took her smaller hand, and placed it over his own swift, wild, vigorous.

“You feel this, Y/N? This heart?” She inhaled deeply only for her to catch Neytiri’s scent mingled with Jake’s — musky, sweet, earthy, rain incense, him, her, him, her, them — her eyes darting between his before descending into his face as she nodded. “Mine beats like this because of Neytiri, because of you.”

“Mine in return wavers for you both as well.”

Neytiri resonated with a soft giggle, bashfulness flushing her cheeks and reflected the position Jake was in, laying on her side. “Our hearts, they are one, ma Jake.”

“Hell…yeah they are.” He breathed out. The horizontal of her nose nuzzled with his, and a purr-like sound rumbled through his throat at the sensation, sighing in content when her mouth brushed over his cheek and her hand slid over his jaw while his own rested over her waist. Y/N could only watch from her spot between them, affection sprouting from her heart and spiraling throughout her body. That was until Neytiri pulled away slowly, Wide pupils colliding with hers and leaned in.

“seykxel txe’lan…” The flash of stark incisors gleamed, framed with the brilliance of a smile Y/N or Jake never thought to have seen at the beginning of their encounters. “Do not ever deny this heart’s strength. I have seen it, I have heard it. I have felt it. We feel her right now. She is and gives love, ma Y/N.” Kisses stroked over the girl’s skin. They shivered in the touches Jake now gave them both, each of them feeling an overwhelming wave consume them within the intimacy of this moment.

Breathlessly, the two beautiful women before him retracted from each other, and all he could do was stare. Stare, take in, and find peace and strength within it. Taking both their hands in his, a sweet kiss brushed over their knuckles; and that rascal was devious with his actions, letting his lips stray over the skin for just a second too long, tracing the way Neytiri’s stark incisors sunk into her lower lip, and Y/N could only squirm from the single act of affection.

He pulled Y/N into his chest, and Neytiri let out a laugh at the squeal from the girl until he too pulled her in his arms and he was adjusted between them now, his fingers climbing over their bare shoulders, their arms, thumbs stopping over the flesh of their cheeks. He stared in wonder at the way the colors of Neytiri identified with his own, at how Y/N’s neutral, flush tones contrasted with them beautifully before pecking both their foreheads.

Y/N shifted so her cheek now laid over his chest, while Neytiri’s head found solace beneath Jake’s chin, her braids brushing against the angle of his jawline. “So…are there any other purposes we’ll have forged in our fortress?”

Y/N’s head popped up, “Babies, duh!” Neytiri’s ears hitched at the word, shooting up to look at Jake with the equivalent of the sun’s bright rays, their flames combining and burning every ounce within Jake’s body as he liquified right before them.“That is a great purpose she has said. Eywa has been quick to bless us.”

He sighed and pressed them back into him, a hand falling over Neytiri’s belly. “Forgot how you two are so into those.”

“Ma sa’nok, wait no don’t say anything.” You told your mother-in-law as her palms rested over your belly while your eyes screwed shut, nerves jittering before her low chuckle filled your ears. “Wait, don’t say anything yet! Jake’s not even here yet!”

A tiny palm lightly smacked your cheek and your brows furrowed. “My baby Kiri, that hurt.” Another followed, and a squeal like giggle filled your ears making it impossible to not grin and peek at the baby girl in Neytiri’s arms beaming her little teeth at you. “Because you’re so cute, I forgive you.” you poked her cheek earning another squeal before closing your eyes once more.

Neytiri’s infectious giggles clearly reflected the sheer elation and boundless happiness that radiated from within you. “It does not matter if Mother confirms it, my lovely girl. It is more than obvious.”

“But how do you even know—”

“Pardon me, ‘ite,” Mo’at’s throat cleared from her current kneeling position, “May I remind you that Tsahik’s confirmation does indicate it.”

You couldn’t help but snicker at her tone of voice towards her daughter, hearing the sigh that followed afterwards. “Srane, Mother. Forgive me.”

Heavy steps and breaths filled your home, and it was then that you let your eyes open just to see a breathless, soaked Jake with little, giggling and soaked Neteyam bouncing happily in his arms. “I’m here! We’re here! D-did we miss it, did she confirm it already?”

Every woman present – including Kiri – could only stare at them in question as to why the two were brimming with water, Neytiri’s eyes narrowing at her husband. “What did you do to my son?”

He only waved her off, propping down beside you to drop a kiss to your cheek, then to Kiri’s, then to Mo’at who could only look at him bewildered, and lastly Neytiri’s. “Sorry, sorry, sorry – don’t worry about it, your kid is safe and sound and happy – look at baby boy,” he peered down at him with a broad grin and Neteyam only smiled widely at his mamas, reaching for you. “See? He’s fine – now what’s happening?”

“Y/N wants to confirm if she is with child.” Mo’at mused, thumbs tapping over the skin of your belly.

He groaned out a chuckle, and you threw him a glare. “Angel, you are pregnant.”

“But how can you guys know? You don’t know!”

He hunched himself forward until his mouth was ghosting over the shell of your ear, “We know your body, baby,” the point of his ear flickered against your cheek, “And this angel’s flawless body carries a baby in it,” he pulled back, a quirk between his brows and adjusted Neteyam in his arms as the little boy tried crawling over your laying body. “Well, technically it’s a little bean right now, not even a baby yet. It’s still forming, no, Tsahik? A brain, holes, eyes and nose, oh! Then a heart and–”

“Ma Jake.”

“Babygirl. I’m just sayin’, you’re pregnant.” He grinned widely, glancing at a squirming Neteyam and Kiri who was still in Neytiri’s arms. “Besides, these two constantly wanna be with their mommy Y/N and that means something…look at ‘em.” Kiri found herself free from her mother’s hold, perfectly crawling your way and laid her hands over your cheeks, curiosity shining those big golden eyes as to why you were laying down and her grandmother’s hands were on your stomach. And Neteyam, he simply rested his round head over your chest, cooing softly at you while the pink of his nose twitched as he gave you a gummy smile.

You couldn't help but marvel at the sight and the innocence of these precious beings. Their tiny noses, azure full cheeks, and fluttering eyelashes were all a testament to the beauty and perfection of nature. You felt her heart swell as you watched them, a feeling so overwhelming and pure that it brought tears to your eyes.

But you blinked them away, stroking their cheeks and sniffled, full of hope you glanced up at the Tsahik. “Well?”

Her mouth pursed and cheekbones hoisted, eyes glinted with joy. “Srane. ( yes ) Eywa shines upon you, ma’ite.”

A gasp hoyed itself from your lips, giving her a swift but tight hug and you grinned widely. “Tiri, Jake, I–I’m–”

“Srane, you are with child, dearest!” You sat up and watched how a sweet, exciting grin took over Neytiri’s lush mouth, the mouth you couldn't help but launch yourself too, uncaring to your mother-in-law’s presence who voiced an amused grunt and chuckle as she gathered her grandchildren in her arms. “I gather you want me to take these two out for a while?”

Jake chuckled half heartedly and ruffled his kids’ hair with a nod. “If it’s not so much trouble for you, please.”

She gave him a bow of her head, and stood up with the two in her arms. “Congratulations, Jakesully …take care of her.”

She left, and he was met with the sight of his wives’ giggling with one another, you straddled over her legs as she held you close, both brimming with immense joy. He walked your way, his eyes locked on Neytiri’s smiling ones and you turned to look at him with that bright grin of yours. “Jake, my love.”

“Angel…” He crouched down and firmed his hands to the ground as he leaned closer to your face. Your eyes darted between each feature of his as he reflected your own actions. He then plummeted when you jumped over his abdomen, tilting back under the firm pecks being met with his nose, his cheeks, his neck; his fingers winding over your hips, smoothing the skin there, and his smile lustred with delight. Delight that increased its rays when Neytiri settled beside him; delight that was a response of you and hers, for both were loved immensely by him, and that love would only increase within this fortress forever. It’s perhaps his greatest privilege yet in acceptance of this second chance, to provide love and protection for their fortress.

“We’re gonna be parents again!” Neytiri let out another airy laugh at your squeal, “Thank Eywa, we are!” and wrapped her arms around you once more to pull you into another sweet, much more passionate kiss. Jake smiled to himself, ears perked and let his lips fall over the toned juncture of Neytiri’s collarbone while his hand rubbed lower down your hip bone. The longer the kiss continued, the greedier his touches became, and the more your crave for them flourished.

“You’re gonna be a dad, Jake.” Lips, swollen and lush, blew out a sharp exhale when his long fingers dipped below your thin lower garments while his other hand teasingly curled around the length of Neytiri’s anticipating tail. “Apparently I am.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Okay, well…” Dr. Mason, brow creased in what seemed to be perplexed, and the way her tone carried awareness managed to augment your atmosphere; something wasn’t right. Something didn’t feel right. Ordinarily, her voice was one to convey tranquility to all doubts that assisted you the second you showed up for an appointment, but today, that tranquility had vanished, her words frail as if with one wrong term it would break without hesitation. “There has been…responses from your ultrasound,”

The persistence of this quietness spiked an abundance of hesitations and emotions consumed your mind into torment and propelled it to a precipice, plunging into a tumultuous river of dreadful possibilities. Both your spouses were able to sense the unpleasant adjustment in your state of mind.

“From the looks of it, no heartbeat has been ascertained. Now, I don’t want us to jump to any conclusions yet but–”

“No heart?” Neytiri’s curt voice interjected, an anger already detected and soaring from her while Jake only furrowed his brow as he processed this, and you didn’t have much choice but to let them do and say whatever it was as your mind’s thoughts consumed you whole. “How is there no heart? Tsahik said there is a child in her, and that more than enough proves there is heart. Your machine is wrong”

“What? There’s something wrong with the baby or…?”

“Look, sometimes a heart isn’t able to be heard this early in a pregnancy–”

“Neytiri’s mother said there’s a baby there.” Jake shook his head in unacceptance of her words, hand gripping yours tightly. “There was a heart there yesterday, and the day before too. Now you’re saying there’s no heart? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Sully, if you’d let me explain instead of constantly cutting me off, you would find me saying that this may not be what you think it is, which is a miscarriage.”

“Miscarriage?”

She nodded towards the confusion of Neytiri’s face. “Indicating the loss of the fetus from not developing properly.”

All that now recapitulated was that very word; Miscarriage. Your heart could not take this pregnancy, and this baby had to pay the price of your heart’s weakness. Your breakfast menaced to coil at the mere thought Of course there was another thing your body was unable to maintain. At some point your mind was inattentive, completely muffling the heated exchange between your wife and the doctor, Norm coming in to try and calm Jake down.

You gulped thickly, welcoming the throbbing pain it gave your throat, and let your feet guide you out of this small facility and into Pandora’s forest, though not without Neytiri and Jake tailing. “Baby, Y/N….”

You didn’t even bother to question how quick they reached you while Jake’s arm gate kept you from walking any further into the woods. “She hasn’t confirmed anything yet, angel, let’s–”

“J-Jake move– I don’t wanna go back—” Cold, hot, bothered, confused, shuddering under the coat of your perspiration and your cascade of tears. Neytiri had knelt down and cradled you to her chest, her own tears of frustration and grief spilled over her cheeks. Childbirth had not been one of easiness for the Na’vi, but never had this…thing the humans call miscarriage had ever happened. “Shh, seykxel txe’lan. Breathe–”

“Do not call me that.” you spat out with a strangled gasp, seething at those two words falling from Neytiri’s lips. “My heart gave out on our baby– how can you still call me that? Can you even feel another heartbeat?” Her hold on you consolidated, hand soothing over your head while Jake’s eyes squeezed shut and shook his head as he reached for you. “Just yours. And Neytiri’s, and mine. That’s enough for us.”

“How can you say something like that?” You backed away from his touch, and Neytiri too couldn’t help but pin her eyes on him infuriated and hurt. He couldn’t help but hastily turn to each of his sides, eyes searching and darting around for his wrongdoing. “Jake, we have lost our child.”

He could only frown at Neytiri’s words, and his heart was tugged on as your face obscured into her chest and tightened your arms around her. “Baby,” his tone was pleading and hushed, gently grabbing your shoulders, insinuating for you to spare him a glimpse of those eyes of yours. “Angel, I just want you to be alright…c’mere.”

You gave in and fell into his arms, not able or caring to conceal your tears. “I just lost my baby, idiot,” you sniffled, pushing your cheek against his shoulder blade. “I’m not alright.”

That night, an indescribable agony writhed up your spine and ruptured its way to your battered heart, seizing it, constricting the organ until a gut-wrenching wail relinquished from deep within your lungs, one that startled the children from their peaceful slumber, Kiri’s wails assisting your distressing chorus. It made Jake and Neytiri briskly emerge from their current position around you, peering down at you in alert then at the kids.

“Neytiri.”

“Srane ( yes ).” Neytiri’s warmth was hesitant to depart from you yet eventually did, and you briefly thought it was to go and calm Neteyam and Kiri while Jake grabbed ahold of your face. “C’mon angel. Talk to me, what’s happening?”

“Toilet…bag…outside…something.” were the only words you could muster out from the seeping torment pooling down your abdomen, and by the twisted look upon your face, Jake’s brows shot up and deftly gathered you in his arms before climbing out of the hammock. “Ma Jake, what is wrong with her!”

“She’s sick – Neytiri, get the kids out for a bit.” His jaw already quivered at the sounds writhing within your throat, holding you close as he settled down on the floor. She didn’t question him, lightly bouncing ‘Teyam and Kiri in her arms and gave you two a brief glance before she walked out of their home. He propped you over a seat-like log, letting out a shaky breath as he watched you, waited for you to say something, anything.

Your muscles constricted, coiled, assembling to split with each throat-rippling cry. The urgency of your bleeding intensified without limits as you sat on the ground with your head dipped down, tears streaming down your contorted face. Jake shifted before you, ears and tail flicking in distress as he knelt beside you, making every effort to comfort you, even though both of you understood that the intensity of your current ordeal was not easily appeased.

“What can I do to help! Y/N, c’mon say something! Lemme help you, please!”

Your eyes clamped shut, teeth gritting together, knuckles draining their color and you shook your head violently, giving him the answer of your refusal of help. “Angel…please.”

Expressing precisely what you desired from him proved to be a challenging endeavor. Although you simply sought his — your babies, and Neytiri’s presence, articulating this need became a formidable task. Jake, your protecting husband, grew restless, grappling with the fear of being unable to alleviate your anguish. As he knelt helplessly by, tears threatened to fall down his face but he contained them, and the weight of your bloodshed enveloped his azure tones. He bore witness to one of his darkest fears materializing before his eyes.

“What is happening?” Neytiri came into view, eyes alert and frantic, her arms discarded of the children giving Jake the notion they were with Mo’at. A soft gasp left her at the sight of you quivering and rocking yourself, Jake’s hand rubbing circles on your back as misery scrunched his face. “Y/N…”

“Tiri…” the broken whimper of you calling for her anguished her, and wasted no time in latching to your side, her fingers brushing away the damp curls pressed over your forehead, “Lovely girl…it is alright, we are here…” She didn’t care for the red tainting your skin, she gathered your small frame in her hold, carefully tilted your head over her chest and rocked you in her arms as you reacted quickly to grasp onto her. “I-it’s not comfortable…”

The passage of time brought no respite even with Neytiri’s hold on you, and your unease persisted for hours. Desperation led you to crawl out of Neytiri’s lap and onto the woven floor on hands and knees, seeking relief. Brief solace was discovered momentarily as you assumed a facing down fetal position, attempting to shield yourself from the relentless onslaught of your rigid uterus on your fortitude.

Jake had left to make a quick stop at the human outpost, upon your request for something cold to consume, maybe something similar to ice in the mini freezers they kept there, though he felt disinclined to follow your orders. He didn��t want to leave, but Neytiri gave him the assurance that you will be fine, that she will keep close with everything you did. He listened, of course, undoubtedly peeking his enhanced hearing in from the distance. You then requested for a bath while he was out to which she complied, hoping the water’s calmness would offer some relief. A soreness took over, yet you welcomed the capacity of it, letting the saltiness of your tears combined with its droplets pelting your skin. You still trembled from its temperature, yet the act worked somehow.

Neytiri’s heart ached upon witnessing the moon’s glow over your bare, fragile figure practically sinking within the water. “My love…”

“W-where‘s Kiri and Teyam?”

Her mouth twitched into a tiny smile, striding herself towards you. “They are with Mother. They wanted to sleep a bit more.”

“ ‘m sorry for waking them up. And for disturbing your sleep, Neytiri.” Words, meek and muffled within your knees, were heard clearly by the Omaticayan woman who sighed in response, “Ma Y/N…” Your legs had now slowly disappeared into the water and you were seated up, round eyes glimmering with tears peering back at her as she settled behind you, her thumb reaching to dab away the fallen tears. “Never apologize for this.”

Her neck craned forward to softly kiss your damp cheek, then your temple before offering you a safe haven within her neck, your meek whimpers flattening her ears and your tears soaking her skin.

She held you, swayed you side to side, allowing you to crumble completely in her embrace, words softly encouraging you to let it out. “W-why does my heart hate me?”

“Ma seykxel txe’lan,” she whispered, eyes illuminating her own shed of tears, and permitted her heart to shatter into pieces at how you believed such things of your own heart.

“I know I’m not perfect, but I try doing things right. Why is it never enough? Why am I not enough? Why is my heart not playing the part you call it? Be strong? I try to convince myself as much as you are that it is, but it’s not.” Shards were each syllable of your words, and you welcomed its scorching slices within your flaring throat.

Once more, it made you contemplate your path with faith; was it not an entity capable of breeding only eternal misery? Hadn't all your engagement with it generated outcomes such as these? You accepted then, that it had never been a positive path at all, and your reliance on it diminished only from your own gullibility.

Neytiri’s nose nuzzled against your cheek as she continued to hold you, and she cried for you, for the loss of your child. “You are more than enough. And your heart is strong enough to endure this, my seykxel txe’lan. Do not fault it, do not fault yourself. Eywa will and continues to shine down on you with just your existence.”

“Neytiri.”

She continued despite the protest in your tone, devoted to engraving her belief in your head. “You did nothing wrong. You are perfect as you are. I will not ever stop calling you seykxel txe’lan, because you are. My seykxel txe’lan, my perfect, lovely girl. No fault on you.”

Her lips fall over every part of your face, including your fluttering eyelids as tears once more kiss your waterline. Both of you felt another presence, and you shuddered out a breath when Jake’s body dipped into the water in front of you, encasing you and Neytiri between his bent legs. You peered up, being met with his gentle smile and amber irises. “C’mere, my beautiful girls.”

He was quick to pick up on the swaying Neytiri created around your frame, and his arms winded around her with your much smaller body between them, making it easy for him to hold the both of you and continue the slow sways Neytiri motioned. “May be a bad time to mention but…the ice melted on my way back, angel.”

Your whispered giggle against his neck made their ears flicker, mouths smiling softly down at you. “ ‘T’s okay…I have everything I need right here.” They held you like this until sunrise, the three of you allowing and welcoming every ounce of pain derived, and Neytiri continued whispering sweet reassurances while Jake stroked your skin until you fell into a deep slumber from all the blood, sweat, and tears.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

12 months later

“My strong warrior, come here! ‘Teyam, come here!” You patted your thighs, beckoning the now walking 1 month old baby boy to run your way. He flashed you an adorable smile, little legs leading your way with each encouraging word. Though it seemed his sister thought this to be some sort of baby race, because she managed to speed those little feet of hers and land in your arms with a loud squeal as you lost balance and fell on your bum onto the grassy ground with her in your hold.

“My brilliant Kiri,” you laughed at her tactics, how her gabbling words filled your ears as she reached for your cheeks. “Sa’nu!” ( mommy ) she exclaimed, and threw her brother a cheeky smile when he caught up to her. “Kiri, kehe! Sa’nu!” ( no! Mommy! )

You grunted out a chuckle as both shoved the other to be in their mommy’s arms. The two were practically the size of a human toddler, but you still managed to prop them both upon your thighs and nuzzled kisses to their round cheeks. “Relax, you two. There is plenty of me to go around for my beautiful babies.” You grinned, and Kiri could only let out a ‘humph’ as Neteyam triumphantly snuggled his head into your chest. He had the custom to hold a look of concentration in those big eyes of his, always softening when he found what he was looking for and nuzzled himself deeper; it was a tactic you adored of him, a tactic that reminded you of his father.

“Good morning, my little one! It’s your mommy too! Just listen to your older siblings, fighting over me. Looks like you may have competition.” You cooed down to your stomach, glancing up at the way Neteyam pulled away and Kiri looked at you curiously. There was quite a difference to your stomach now within a few weeks, a peculiar, little roundness that bursted you with joy, and the hormonal shifts were noticeable, especially with the way these two behaved around each other and you.

“Sa’nu?” You brushed your fingers through Kiri’s bangs as she stared down, her little brows furrowed in question as she babbled down to the petite swell of your belly. “That’s your little baby sister or brother, Kiri.” You whispered excitedly, and her little mouth pucker brought laughter from you. You turned to Neteyam who had been awfully quiet, his big honey eyes squinting at you then at what his sister had now been babbling to.

“Prrnen? ( baby ?)” He questioned, his tiny blue finger pointing and you grinned. “Srane, ‘Teyam. Prrnen.” His face carried a cute ponder-like expression, and a small smile broke out before his stomach propped over your thigh and laid a palm over your belly. “Prrnen!”

Neytiri, standing from a small distance as she prepared her bow and arrow to gather some fish, brought her gaze up to look at the scene before her, a warm smile decorating her features as her eyes twinkled in happiness. She had been longing for this, for you to be with child, and she was sure her prayers to Eywa had been heard, thanking her with every second for this wonderful blessing. Many complications and struggles happened over the months of course, and there were moments where she thought you perhaps were about to give up in fulfilling this lovely dream of yours, yet here you were, a heart happier and stronger than ever.

Jake was currently sitting over a rock in silence, and in his hands were a small blade and wood as he expertly dragged the sharp tool into it, shaping it into a figure for his kids. His locs, loose and wildly ascended over his shoulders, swayed at the head tilt he gave your way. “5 weeks. Ain’t it a bit too early to call it a baby?”

“Ma Jake.” Neytiri hissed, shooting him a pointed glare.

Kiri tore herself from you, giving your belly one final pat before wobbling through the shallow waters and towards her father. “Daddy!” He placed his items down and pulled her onto her lap with a smile. “Hey baby girl…right it’s too soon to call that a prrnen?”

“No, it’s not.” You rolled your eyes at his grumble, returning your focus on your stomach. “That’s your grumpy sempu ( daddy ), baby. He’s been grumpy for quite some time now, and no one knows why.” Your voice dropped to a mysterious whisper, grinning as Neteyam released bubbles of giggles against you. “But don’t pay him no mind, he loves you just as much as we do.”

She was unable to resist such a moment, and with that Neytiri placed her sempul’s ( father ) bow down, and rushed into the small lake, right where you happened to be seated in. “Yawntutsyìps.” ( little loved ones ) she crooned, a palm residing over your stomach while the other ruffled Neteyam’s dark hair. “Sa’nok!” She beamed that beautiful smile of hers, one that complimented her every feature and you hummed as she gave you a gentle kiss. “Ma seykxel txe’lan…”

“And this right here, is your other mama, strong and gorgeous Neytiri.” You grinned at how she stroked the skin, a hint of amusement shining her golden eyes at how you whispered sweet nothings to the life you nurtured within your womb. Engaging in conversations with your unborn baby became one of your cherished pastimes after discovering your pregnancy. You often found yourself speaking to your baby in the mornings or during moments of free time, despite Jake’s stoned expressions, the one he was doing in this exact moment as he walked towards you with Kiri in his hold, happily toying with the unfinished figure her father was working on.

Neytiri took part in talking to your stomach as well, and when Jake was present for it, you both always ended up with his sharp gaze on you, inspecting, the usual mirth coloring his irises completely washed away with the subtle glare he gave. It did brew some sort of uncomfortable feeling in you, but you or Neytiri never brought the issue up, and he never provided a reason behind it.

“We’re all very excited to meet you soon, right Tiri? Right Jake?”

Neytiri kissed your cheek, chuckling when Neteyam crawled into her lap but still kept his palm over your stomach. “Srane, lovely girl. We are very excited.”

A tiny smile flickered across Jake’s face as he crouched down beside you, balancing Kiri on his thigh. “I’m happy because my girls and kids are excited. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Water droplets had soothed beautifully down the flexing muscles of his large thighs right before your eyes, and something about him carrying one of your children made your insides twist. The subtle smirk you offered him was a familiar one, one that made his brow hitched. “You look nice.”

“I’m glad you think so.” He muttered, releasing Kiri as she tried writhing from his hold to go join her brother. He took liberty in scooting and settling down really close to you, to the point where his chin rested over the top of your head.

“Bet I could make you feel nice. With my mouth, though, of course.”

Neytiri, her cobalt tones shimmering delightfully under the sun’s peeking light, smirked at your act and words, picking up on the low groan rumbling in Jake’s throat.The way she stared at you made you stride your tongue over your lower lip and smile sweetly at her. “My pretty Tiri.”

A lust consumed those eyes as her face slightly flushed at the nickname. Neteyam found himself sitting beside Kiri in the water, and Neytiri took a chance in shifting closer, her hand reaching to grope the expanse of your thigh. She smiled, pleased at the way her palm practically enveloped your flesh, the way it sizzled beneath her touch, and she had to keep her canines from sinking into her lower lip at the sound you made.

“Choose your words wisely, yawnetu. ( loved one )” she mused, and Jake’s hot breath fanned over the skin below your jawline, his own palm rested over your stomach and you shuddered. “Yeah, listen to our pretty Tiri,” his tone was mocking, and he snickered at how her teasing glower. “wouldn’t wanna do anything to harm it. Or that heart of yours.”

He pecked your flustered cheek before standing up and easily brought you to your feet as well and Neytiri gathered Kiri and Neteyam’s little hands in hers. “C’mon now, let’s go home.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The Omaticayan people always welcomed and celebrated the cherishing birth of new life. New life unraveled new beginnings, a flourishing prosperity for their clan, and a gift from Eywa herself. Especially if that new life, that gift sprung from their leader, Olo’eyktan, once known as Toruk Makto, Jake Sully and his wife, Palulukan Makto, a warrior, Neytiri te Suli. The Na’vi were mystified when the new life didn’t come from Neytiri herself, but you, Y/N te Suli, and of course, they thought it had not been possible for you to birth one of them, yet you nor Jake and Neytiri knew if this new life brewing inside you will come out as one of them if you consider the options you’d taken. But the confirmation and approval of Eywa through their Tsahik alleviated those questioning doubts, and they had immediately wished to celebrate and honor this news.

The decision rested on their leader, Olo’eyktan Jake Sully, who, though initially hesitant, ultimately gave his approval, driven by a sense of obligation and devotion to Neytiri and you.

Neytiri retorted, her hands delicately rearranging Jake's thick dreadlocks, "You must don the customary attire befitting the role of Olo’eyktan, ma Jake." Jake, visibly frustrated, responded with a sigh, "I understand, but it feels so damn heavy!"

“That’s why your shoulders are so squared and strong though.” You took your focus off of Kiri’s hair who was perched on your lap and dozing off, and grinned over your shoulder. You watched as his current frowning face perked at your words. Once taming her husband’s hair and giving him a quick peck, she made her way towards you. Her chest covering radiated with vibrant feathers, harmoniously contrasting the velvety azure of her skin. Around her neck, a cascade of necklaces stood as poignant symbols of her familial ties, while her dark braids intertwined with an array of multicolored trinkets, creating a captivating visual tapestry.

"Would you permit me to do your hair, lovely girl?" She whispered against your lips, her fingers gently caressing the strands that frame your face. With a subtle bite on your lip, you nodded in agreement. "If it's not too much trouble—"

"Anything connected to you is never troubling," she replied, giving the subtle roundness of your belly a soothing rub, and you chuckled in response. As she positioned herself behind you, her skilled fingers meticulously parted and wove through the locks of your head. "Jake's influence is quite evident on you," you teased, causing her to giggle and roll her eyes at your comment.

"No one can surpass the original," Jake quipped as he playfully held Neteyam upside down, attempting to keep him still while putting on a necklace crafted by his proud father.

"Neteyam, stay still, boy. Calm your ass down!" He huffed, prompting Neytiri to hiss at him. "How many times have I told you to watch your mouth?" Neytiri's loud remark awakened Kiri from her nap, her hazy eyes and ears flickering. "Mommy? Sa’nok?"

"Shh, it's okay, my brilliant girl," you reassured, gently pulling her head back onto your chest. "Daddy's just being noisy right now." Kiri gave you a lazy smile before shooting her unaware father a glare and closing her eyes once more.

"Kiri, 'ite, wake up," Neytiri whispered to her. "After I'm done with sa’nu’s hair, we must go, okay? We must get ready for the festivity." In response, Kiri whined and dramatically sprawled herself on the ground, eliciting laughter from you while Neytiri sighed. "Just like your father, unfortunately."

His laughter echoed, a genuine sound that elicited a contented hum from you. It had been weeks since you last heard him laugh so authentically, and now you eagerly pursued the lingering echoes, entwining yourself in the lasting warmth it brought. And at this Neytiri’s mouth lifted, giving your shoulders a squeeze, already knowing how much this would please you, and her as well if she was to be sincere.

“We don’t have to go, y’know? I mean, being chief gives me the right to cancel so…if you aren’t up for it. ‘t’d make Kiri less dramatic and this one would calm down.” He crooned at the boy that curled in his arms, finger stroking below his ear to his cheek, and Neteyam’s sudden soft babbles filled the atmosphere.. He then stood in front of you, crouching down to gather Kiri in his arms, though not before pecking your cheek then Neytiri’s mouth, at this you flinched as you watched; the affection he gave his children or Neytiri shouldn’t stir any ounce of jealousy in you, it was absurdly irrational from your part and yet completely out of your control. By reason of the long while Jake had let himself hold, kiss, touch you for no long enough to lose himself in you like he usually would, and hurt resided in you at this.

“Syor, Y/N.” ( relax ) Neytiri’s words whispered within your ear, already sensing the spike to your heart rate. “Do not let him get to you.” Though reassurance laced her voice, irritation towards Jake edged it. You only sighed and tore your eyes from Jake; deciding to point your focus on your vitality contending against your contemporary condition of debility. An inkling of it possibly disrupting your night tormented your mind. “Just because you’re chief, marine, doesn’t mean you can go and ruin this for others. This is important, especially to me. You know this. Or are us and your people celebrating the coming of our child not important to you? That’s what you’re trying to say?”

He swallowed hard at the old nickname you regarded him with, but he rolled his eyes. “I think everyone present here knows that what you’re saying is nowhere near what I just or have been saying, baby. Or is it, Neytiri?” Both him and you fixated your gaze on the lithe woman behind you, brows jumping as her mouth formed an ‘o’ before releasing a laugh that indicated how ridiculous this seemed to her. “Ma Jake, do not ask me any silly questions, or to our Y/N right now. Settle your children down before Mother comes to help place your attire.”

Mo’at greeted each one of you, Neytiri assisting her mother in delicately but perfectly descended the traditional feathered piece over his shoulders, and Jake caught a glimpse of the smirk flickering yours and Neytiri’s mouth as the head piece tangled around his ears. But he said nothing, simply shaking his head and prepared for whatever was bound to happen next.

The night had already commenced to a vertiginous beginning; the loud rumbles of the drums, the chants, the brightness of multicolored lights, the People, the strained conversations. You’d think it wouldn’t overwhelm you the way it did considering this is precisely what you experience almost every night, and that overwhelm you carried had Jake tear away his entire attention from his People and fixated on you who’d been seated right in front of him, his jaw tightening in hence to contain the ‘Told you so’ sitting at the tip of his tongue. Neteyam and Kiri, sleepiness completely washed from their system and replaced with a bundle of energy as they squealed and ran around with the other children, and Neytiri had been engaged in a conversation with her mother that you didn’t want to interrupt seeing the serious demeanor they carried.

Fatigue settled deep within your bones and not even a whole hour had passed. You seeked for something, someone familiar among the dancing blue bodies, and you practically beamed when spotting dear old Norm, panting and laughing from the dancing he partook in, walking your way.

“Y/N/N! What’re you doin’ here just sitting? You should be celebrating—” His brows crashed when he noticed your drained expression, your posture, and crouched down to gently place a large palm over your forehead. “You alright? Hey, what’s wrong?”

You mustered a small smile and nodded under his hold, bringing both hands to softly grab his own and removed it from your forehead. “Don’t worry, Norm. I’m good! Just a little tired, but that’s it.”

Norm had grown to become a good friend to both you and Jake, and he’d been very attentive to your health and supportive of your pregnancy, he’d been a listening ear for you when things got a bit fickle with Jake and Neytiri. So it didn’t surprise you when Norm was unconvinced of your feign reassurance, eyes shifting over to a rather distressed looking Jake as he towered over you from behind, hoping to gain some intuition of the situation. None was offered, at least not in front of you, and you glanced up to see the silent exchange between the two Na’vi men, something you were unaware of.

This infuriated you, observing the way they communicated so perfectly without the utterance of words about something that clearly involved you. You grumbled out an ‘excuse me’ before standing and making your way towards your little ones who’d been playing close to the expanse of the Hometree, both pairs of round eyes widening and smiling at the sight of you. “Sa’nu!”

“My babies,” you grinned, giggling when Neteyam’s arms loosely wrapped around your waist with his ear pressed against your belly. “Tsmukan.” ( brother ) he happily crooned, and Kiri’s brows furrowed as she shook her head. “Kehe. Tsmuke.” ( sister )

You laughed at the glare she gave the boy while he remained unbothered and simply nuzzled his nose to your flesh. “It is too early to tell if it’s a boy or girl. But either one, I’m sure you will love them very much.” Your hands fall over their heads when you knelt, lovingly stroking your fingers through their dark strands and smiling down at them, feeling an ease settle down on you despite the tiredness you felt.

Neteyam must have sensed it, for he peered up at you with a look in his eyes you couldn’t quite make out as his ear pressed over your heartbeat. “Sa’nu…sleep?” He questioned. Damn was it that easy to tell?

“A little bit, my warrior. But I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” You reassured the boy. He made a grunting sound and glanced at Kiri before they pulled away to grab your hands, lightly pulling you near the tree’s surface, between the thick roots. “S-sit.”

Their actions left you a bit dubious but you followed them, slowly sliding down with a sigh and smiled softly at them. “You two are a blessing, y’know that?” They only settled down on each of your side and wrapped their little arms around you, soft babbles being exchanged with the two.

Children may be clueless at times, but they certainly weren’t stupid, you thought. And if they were able to indicate what you felt, then it must be because it was clearly written in your face, and being able to settle down without having the eyes of the People on you brought down the waves of weariness, the verge of nearly collapsing.

“The…pregnancy is doing this to her, you say?” Mo’at’s voice, perplexed and firm.

The one responding afterwards was recognized as Jake’s refrain, strangled and raspy. “Yeah. She’s been trying to hide it, but we can tell it’s taking a number on her, and she’s not doing a damn good job at hiding this!”

“It is a child, ma Jake. You cannot judge her or the child too harshly now. But,” a sigh followed; Neytiri. “It is true, ma sa’nok. Every day, she becomes more frail … and we have no choice but to see her fall apart like this.”

“Perhaps we should let her stay here instead of going to the human outpost. It will do her good if I keep checking on her, no?”

“With all due respect, Tsahik,” Norm. “She has to keep going to the outpost in order to see if this pregnancy and her health are maintaining balance—”

“Yeah well, a fat load of crap that is to see if she’s maintaining balance.”

“Jake, please calm down. Besides, it does seem like a normal response from the twins in her stomach so she is gonna have to constantly come by—”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you mean by twins?”

Silence ebbed, one of thickness and delirious, one that you felt from the center of your being at the revelation, yet your silence was otherwise. Not one, but two pure souls growing in your womb, you thought anticipatingly, though that warm happiness was quick to dissolve from the biting tone of none other than Jake. “What the hell do you mean by twins, Norm? You didn’t say this the other day. It’s not possible!“

“I…we couldn’t confirm it just yet. The ultrasound was iffy, and it took Dr. Mason some time to go through it until she realized it. think about it, though; the rapid growth of her belly, the way she looks more and more tired—”

“Yeah because that thing is draining everything she’s got!”

“Twins are not capable of happening for the Na’vi…it is a rare occurrence, yet a blessing—”

“But Y/N isn’t a part of the Na’vi, not physically. And this isn’t a blessing, this isn’t even supposed to be happening–”

“She wants to be a mother, we cannot deny her this. She is happy, you should be happy—”

“I am, believe me, I am happy if she’s happy, if you’re happy, Neytiri. But not when this…baby is practically killing her from the inside slowly with each passing second. Or what— you wanna lose her?”

“I never said that! But we cannot keep getting in the way of this dream that she wishes for so profoundly—”

“I don’t want her having this baby, there I said it.”

Silence condensed once more, and you have to take a quick peek to the children in your hold, both gratefully sound asleep despite the escalating tone of the others, and you have to raise a palm to your mouth in order to contain the sob threatening to hurl from your throat at Jake’s revelation.

“Jakesully. A child is a gift sent from Eywa, whether your wife is Na’vi or not. And It is up to both you and my daughter to support her, no matter your train of thought.”

“Norm, back me up here.” Nothing. “Neytiri, don’t tell me you want her having this thing, do you really want to lose her like this–”

“That thing is a child. Our child, children, Toruk. You can either accept it or not, but it will not change her mind, or mine.”

Inhaling deeply in hopes to find a steady pace to your racketing heart at the most expeditious pace, you gently shake the children awake. “Come on, we must get back to your mama and father.” Both Neytiri and Jake’s ears flicker at the sound at your heartbeat assisted with Neteyam’s and Kiri’s, Jake’s gaze flitting down to the two other beats that happened to be purely beating within your stomach. Mo’at, a firm demeanor upon her and Norm, looking down at the ground, said nothing as your presence was between them all.

“Angel, you alright–”

“I think it’s best I head back with the kids.”

Neytiri was the one to take you back while the Tsahik and Jake continued with the festivity, not wanting to abruptly call everything off and reassured the People everything was fine.

When your beautiful wife sauntered your way, a final peer to the children who were sound asleep, with ease she settled you within the hammock, crawling in beside you and like all nights, she held you close; yet tonight was different, tonight was as if she had been hit with the realization of the very words Jake uttered; her hold on you was almost despairing, swallowing the entire length of your body with her prolonged one while her chest produced the deepest of exhales and clutched onto you. Gulping, you tilted your head up at her; honey-like orbs hidden beneath shuddering eyelids, her lips obtrude, and gentle words somehow found a way to soothe from their trembling act.

“Neytiri…do you want to have these babies?”

Her eyes nearly snapped open but settled for a gentle gaze, and you saw the way she immediately picked up on your usage of ‘babies’ instead of the singular word giving her the wretched notion that you had heard their conversation. She prompted a flicker of a sad smile and nodded while giving your cheek a light stroke. “My desires are your desires, seykxel txe’lan.” Firm, confident, sadness all molded into those words, and you wholly believed her.

Another question climbed painfully up your throat, one that was thrown out when Jake had finally made his way back with you, clutching you and Neytiri the same way she had; “Do you want to have these babies?”

You looked at him, and Neytiri’s eyes only fell shut when he stared up and laid his chin over your head.

“We want what you want, angel.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“May I speak with you for a moment, ma Tsahik?”

You entered her den, strides reluctant and nervous, and Mo’at’s gaze glowered curiously and slightly displeased at your usage of formality. “Now what have I told you about addressing me like that, eh?”

You released a weak chuckle, muttering a small apology as you walked her way. “I’ve been out of it for a while now, but again, forgive me.”

She smiled as you settled down beside her and nodded in understanding. “It is common with your state of being right now. Do not apologize.” You glanced at her in curiosity before it hit you. “I forgot you already knew.”

She laughed, “Tsahik knows it all.” Your mouth twitched before the corners pushed down. “I don’t mean that…” you inhaled sharply, “I overheard your conversation the night before. With Jake. And Neytiri. And Norm.”

Her smile faltered at your revelation but did not rush to assist any excuses to it, for she knew it was very much explanatory enough. “I did have…suspicions of it already before that talk, however.” she pointed out and then sighed. “I assume…that is why you are here, ‘ite?”

You nodded, and the herbs currently in her hand are placed down so she can provide her attention to you. “I am not upset with you, but I am upset with…”

“Jakesully’s words?” She questioned and you nodded. Mo’at, growing to become a mother figure within your life, was wisest as a voice of reason – partially for being Tsahik of course – and provided guidance when caring for yourself became too hefty, when your relationship with her daughter and Clan Leader had its difficulties.

She bowed her head as a gesture for you to proceed. “You know how much I’ve longed for this, for carrying my very own children, but you also have heard of the difficulties I’ve been having because of this longing given my condition,” Her hand reached to place over the palm that rested over your belly, smiling slightly at you. “And it’s difficult, yes. But…Jake is so apprehensive about it and Neytiri too worries, and I understand why, I love them because they worry and care for me.” Your fingers twitched, eyes gaining a glassed surface and sniffled “But I want this, sa’nok. And yes, you’ll be the first I’ll verbally admit to that I am exhausted almost every day, but that doesn’t matter to me! What motivates me is that I’m meant to carry life, these beautiful lives, that I’ll be giving Neteyam and Kiri more reliance, I’ll be giving Neytiri and Jake another to love wholly–”

“You will be able to birth and be someone’s blood mother.” You stayed quiet, rubbing soft circles over your belly and nodded. “Neteyam and Kiri are my children, and I know I am their mother as much as Neytiri is but…I’ve wanted to experience carrying a child, does that make sense? And Jake doesn't understand, Neytiri is supportive and I’m sure she wants this but I’m afraid…”

Tears have omitted down your cheeks, and both her palms now have raised to cradle your face. “Oh ma’eveng… you’re afraid she too does not want you to have these children.” You’ve had a challenging time grasping the conversation they had shared, and nodded your head. She gave you a soft smile, one that enriched the maturity of her features.

“They do love you very much, and I am sure you know that. I cannot speak for Jakesully in this case because I do not know the specific events of his life, as for my daughter…” Melancholy swarmed her gaze and you caught on to what subject was bound to be brought up. “A lot within her changed when her sister departed from us. Neytiri’s brilliance and precautions sharpened with the Sky People. She had sworn right in front of Eywa to not ever trust them again,” she chuckled half heartedly and you couldn't help but do the same. “But how I knew how much she enjoyed the curiosity always brightened when she and Sylwanin learned about them with Grace. And she tried to simmer it down, she nearly convinced me it had completely faded.

“But then you and him came along, and that night you were brought to our village, I saw it again; that curiosity. Brimming within her, wrestling with the swear she had made. A fickling light Neytiri was. And I will admit, I was hesitant when I saw it, when it led to love…but you both brought something within her back to life. Neytiri loves you eternally. Jake loves you profoundly as well. Now, my daughter would never ask this of you, to not have these children; but of course she is afraid. And while Jake’s statements were rather harsh, his behavior, and her fear, are being driven by that love.”

“And I love them as well, so so much but I just–”

“However, that love should not hinder the act of you making choices.” she firmly stated. “Especially when it comes to your happiness, your mind, heart, and body. The very body that you have taken care of after many events of hurting. You deserve this, ‘ite. The Great Mother has rewarded you for your suffering, and you shall welcome it, no matter what they say.”

Stutters spewed from your mouth as you now sobbed within her hold. “B-but he said–”

“Words lie. Words deceive.” she reminded you. “Actions prove otherwise when it comes from here,” her hand fell to your chest, “ the heart. And if your heart desires a child which is not unnatural, then they will be easy to love. You desire this?”

“More than anything, ma sa’nok.”

She smiled, carefully dabbing away the tears over your cheeks. “They want this, despite the deceiving words. They love you, and want to continue this family with you, child.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Do you still love me, Jake? Neytiri, does he?” Not so far and not so deep into the forest, but far enough from ears to hear the seeth in your voice, far enough from eyesight to witness the tears rolling down your cheeks. Neytiri’s ear twitched at your words, mouth frowning as she crouched near you while Jake could only look down with a deep frown, purposefully avoiding your gaze.

“What is the reason for these words, lovely girl? Of course he still loves you–”

“Let’s ask the chief himself; Jake, answer my question.”

He snorted humorlessly, almost in disbelief. “Why the– why would you ever ask that?”

You pulled away from Neytiri’s touch and took long steps his way, innerly grateful for him sitting down on a rock otherwise you wouldn’t have any access in grabbing his face and forcing him to meet your eyes. “You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t smile, or you do but it never reaches your eyes. Not when you’re with me, or Neytiri whether she admits it or not. Do you love me now? Do you love her? Why–”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! Why would you ever, ever question this! I have loved, still love, and will always love you and Neytiri and my kids more than anyone and anything in this entire universe.” Yellow and slight neon green like eyes bored within your own, and you had no control of the way air completely left your lungs. But it did not whatsoever efface his constant behavior, or the emotions you carried. “Do those kids include the two that are growing inside me right now?”

He huffed, looking at Neytiri to find some sort of exit to this exhausting and daily question of yours, but she stayed quiet. If anything, she looked and waited for his response in the same way you did. “If these babies make you guys happy, then I’m more than fine with it. Then yes, I want you to have them. What you want, I want–”

“Jake.”

He continued without looking at you. “Neytiri, I do love you so much, and again, if this is what you both want then okay– “

“Ma Jake.”

“...you deserve this and I care–”

“For Eywa’s sake, Jake Sully, answer her question! You have already admitted this to me, now admit it to her! Enough with the lies, enough with the silence, enough picking your way out! Answer truthfully because she deserves the truth from you,”

“Do you want to have these babies?”

The light contours of his nose flared at Neytiri’s words but didn’t argue nor respond. No words, no heavy breaths, no sound besides the heart of Pandora’s forest. Nothing and you were growing antsy because of it, nothing and Neytiri hissed because of it. Until, finally, his lips parted and uttered one single word; “No.”

Neytiri’s ears hitched at the harsh jitter your heart created, and she wasted no time in getting beside you. You let her grab you, but you did not tear your eyes from him. “W-what?’

“No.” he said more firmly, brows pulled together and eyes drenched in remorse and anger. “No. No. No!”

The end of Neytiri’s braids lightly whipped against your skin as she glanced to look at him when he stood, her eyes equally as wide as your own from his tone of voice. “You don’t want our children?”

“I can suffice with the other two. And not if it means we’re losing you. Not like this.”

Your hold on Neytiri tightened and as did hers. “Ma Jake, we do not know if we will lose her because of this pregnancy–”

“Stop, Neytiri. Just stop, you’re pointing out my lies and here you are lying and trying to convince yourself. You damn heard Norm, you heard Dr. Mason – her heart can’t handle it! If she can’t handle one, how the hell do you think she can handle two?” The muscles of his neck strained tightly as he hissed these words, brows curling down. “Or what – losing her doesn’t matter to you, Neytiri? You rather choose two lifeless children over our girl–”

She abruptly stood to her height and within a second, her chest was pressed against his. “I never, ever said that and you know this! Do not assume what I feel, do not assume what I choose!”

“You and I both know what’s going on with her body, you as much as i can feel the way she’s slowly slipping away and you’re on her damn side–”

“This is not about choosing sides, Jake! This is about life, the life she is having that holds apart of us–”

“And what about her life!”

You all were silent, thick and heavy tears rolling down both yours and Neytiri’s cheeks, becoming one with the skin beneath your eyes. He, however, contained them. He couldn’t break down, not now. “Y/N, you’re not gonna say anything? Not fight, not agree, nothing?” You didn’t, because you had already come to the terms of you departing and making peace with it. You were upset, angry at him, at her, at yourself, at your very heart. “You were the one to bring this up that night, Jake. You were the one who encouraged this, you convinced me and Neytiri so don’t forget–”

He threw his arms in the air, exasperated and let out a strangled breath. “And I damn regret it! Every day I think about it, and wish I kept my mouth shut. We were fine, we were happy just us; you, Neytiri, the kids, me, our fortress. That was enough for me, our happiness.” His voice boomed once more, and never once had it been that way towards you or Neytiri.

Never did he want to hurt them, that was something he always feared doing and yet, here they were. Perhaps he was a coward simply blaming it on his conscience, simply blaming it on his heart, uttering a truth that was already known as a lie but continued to speak it. He knew well he was to blame; but he wanted to contain the peace, his source of happiness, of protecting, of giving him a purpose and fortress.

You tried blinking away the blur of tears and looked at Neytiri, “Do….do you have regrets? Do you want this? Or are you lying like him–”

“Never have I once lied to you, ma Y/N.” she ushered herself to you, hands grabbing ahold of your cheeks. “I have been honest, always. I do not partake nor control this skxawng’s words…but,” she inhaled deeply, her lower lip pushing out and her ears flattening in hence of her sadness. “I am afraid. I-I do not want us to lose you…yet at the same time, I admire the way you have accepted this, and as hurting as it is…I want this for you, for us, these babies. I support you, no matter what.” Her grasp grew desperate, eyes having the rarity of plead she’ll only show him, only show you. You recognized the fear of losing her peace, but you knew her words were nothing but sincere, loving but you knew she too felt remorse. “Trust. Rutxe ( please ). You must trust me–”

“I do trust you, Neytiri.” Your touch soothed, cradling her jaw and stroked her azure flesh with a wobbly smile before it fell, both of you glancing at a crumbled looking Jake. “Are you unhappy now, Jake? Are you unhappy with us?” your tone of voice edged, and the assistance of Neytiri’s golden orbs with your broken sparkling ones sliced deep into his heart.

The length of dark locs upon his head fell to his forehead and swayed over his heaving chest, “I’m unhappy with the way you’re hurting. And I know Neytiri is being the better one here, but I’m sure that she feels the exact same way I do when we see you hurting; I feel like a part of me dies.” He lifted his head, and your own heart churned at the dampness surfacing those eyes. “I don’t like what those two are doing to you, angel. I don’t like hearing Neytiri suffer in silence because of this…I don’t like the fact that you’ll leave our kids–”

“Jake…”

He moved closer until he was kneeling over the ground, and reached out to hold his girls, to provide you both that strength of protection, of stability within your fortress as he often did, and Neytiri let him, you let him. She let him run his fingers through her cascade of braids as he kissed her forehead. You let him rest the expanse of his hand over your back and pull you ever deeper into his warmth and he soon kissed both your drenched faces, and for the first time in a while, he let his tears fall, tainting both yours and Neytiri’s skin, because regardless of everything that has happened, you yearned for one another, for that heat he provided, that security he carried and become one with.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The large holographic images displayed the very hospital you met Jake in, and among the myriad of images was that one ward, the one you specifically met him in. Never did he think he’d see this place again, even though he’s not physically there. It made the former marine’s insides stir with all kinds of emotions, smiling every so briefly at recalling all those memories upon those walls. He’d fallen in love with you, given her the very first kiss beneath those stark lights. He mentally thanked Norm for saving these old but very functional technology; ones that were able to seep through the memory of one and project them right before your eyes, and Norm happened to let him ( mainly you, since you’re mostly responsible and reliable to take care of such thing–) take it within the forest, just to show Neytiri.

“Here’s where we met,” he cleared his throat, glancing at Neytiri, then at you before staring back at the image. “Where I found out about her crazy love for babies.”

Your lips curled at his awkward chuckle, and took a step forward and near the picture; small bodies of babies that you remember as clear as day right there, picked from yours and Jake’s memories. You stood between the two Na’vi figures who carried both your other babies, and internally laughed at how it was now your shoulder pressed against his forearm. He even smiled slightly and welcomed this contact, knowing that despite there really being nothing special about himself, he had embraced the fact that his warmth, his need for a light to radiance in his darkness called to you, the very same way with Neytiri as well.

Neytiri’s eyes brimmed and her tail softly lashed with wonder, Kiri’s pure gaze brimmed with the same emotion her mother carried as well. She’s heard the way they’ve met multiple times, she’s retained the lovely memory by heart and understood Jake’s reasoning for the way he spoke of his past, of his disabilities and your condition. Jake’s trepidation did not go without acknowledgement nor understanding, because she too feared, she too fell into great sadness with the thought of losing you. However, she had something you’ve been contemplating with, something Jake seemed to have forgotten to have in their Great Mother; faith in your heart. In your surviving, and perhaps she was in denial, perhaps she too, like Jake, wanted it to be a wrong belief, but even her own mother, the Tsahik could not correspond to these unknown outcomes.

So she couldn’t evict the hitch of a crestfallen smile when you grabbed ahold of both their hands, not tearing your eyes from the motions of the pictures; the little babies she recalled you saying were very tiny compared to the Neteyam and Kiri, and questioned without looking at either or: “You would put my own life above the ones growing inside of me, marine? And would you, Neytiri, rather me alive than the ones bound to live under the will of Eywa? Please, be truthful.”

Jake’s smile softened at both the nickname and kept his gaze on you and so did Neytiri. Mesmerization played a powerful vehemence within the three of you, always directed fairly with the other, both admiring the captivating beauty etched upon your frail complexion, and Neytiri now understood why he called you an angel, what was the purpose of an angel; you fulfilled the word, you gave it meaning.

“Without hesitation, I would.” He responded, and all you knew this response wasn’t one you entirely wished for, and her hand tightened around yours. “Under the will of Eywa, I would.” Never would you or Jake pull Neytiri from her trust in Eywa, you respected this. And all this holding back, the lying, it was tiring for the both of them, and Jake wanted to affirm his belief within both your minds that you both matter to him, that he cared in keeping you both safe, alive, but overall happy.

Your head bobbed softly at their words, the device around your body soon shutting off with your silent command. Jake found himself crouching down to the ground with Neteyam in his grasp, a move you once took as silly and pitiful for them both really, but now it didn’t matter. Not when he found himself drawn to you, reaching Neytiri’s other hand and motioning her to bring herself and Kiri down as well. “You both will choose me.”

“I will forever choose my fortress.”

Neytiri huffed out a breathy giggle as Kiri’s fingers brushed over the ends of her braids to the tip of her ear, and Jake along with you grinned softly at the sound. “And I choose my fortress too, Jake. And choosing my fortress means choosing to let these little ones live. I choose to add onto the foundation of my, our fortress.”

He watched as you peered down to your belly, he watched as Neytiri smiled warmly with her irises swarming with both affection and sadness, and he inhaled deeply as you spoke; “Y’hear that, my other babies? I choose to give life to you both…but I wish for you guys to forgive me because that may be the only thing i can give you,” Both Neteyam and Kiri had writhed their way out of Jake’s and Neytiri’s hold, both their little frames seated between the circle their parents had created.

A watery chuckle spewed from your throat when their wide eyed stare pointed your way and crouched down in front of them, their little blue fingers spreading over your tear stained cheeks, “And I wish for you two, my brilliant Kiri and my warrior Neteyam, to forgive me too…” Your palm lifted to ruffle the growing strands upon your baby boy’s head while the other cradled the fullness of Kiri’s cheek. “But I hope you guys promise to take care of these two babies here, and that you grow to love them as much as I do, okay?”

A barrier of tears warped Neytiri’s eyes, chuckling when the two laid their little hands over your stomach and grinned widely. “Prrnen, sa’nu! Prrnen!” Jake’s touch against you firmed, his throat constricting from trying to contain his pleads, his cries for you to not go through with this. To stay, to watch your two kids already born, alive, and growing continue to grow, to learn, to live with you by their side. He didn’t say anything, only observing and grasping how meaningful this was to you, how his kids already accepted their future siblings, observing and accepting how and why Neytiri chose to agree with you, how she maintained her firm support for you; because she wanted you to believe that your heart was capable enough to do something grand; seykxel txe’lan. And she wanted you to be happy and fulfilled with your heart. It was not hers nor his choice to make, and it was then that he begun to accept the pernicious reality that this fortress will lose a major part that interpreted it a fortress, that his life, Neytiri’s life, Neteyam and Kiri’s life will outlive your own. And he didn’t dare to speak it aloud, so he only watched and took this moment in.

“Will you forgive me, Tiri? Will you forgive me, Jake?” Their hearts tethered at the timidness of your voice.

Neytiri reached for you, long arms tangling around you as she pressed soft kisses across each part of your face, letting her tears mingle with the ones over your cheeks, “I do not need to forgive you for anything, seykxel txe’lan. I desire what you desire,” her mouth fell over your forehead, “I choose whatever you choose, lovely girl.”

Jake then kissed you, pouring it all into that one kiss, fingers delicately but firmly grasping your flesh as he drank you in in this precise moment, not caring to hold back in front of his kids who had already seemed occupied with the unique nature surrounding them, and you could’ve sworn you heard a sob among his breaking stutter as he pulled away and let his forehead cover your own. “I choose you. I just choose you, my angel.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Jake greatly detested coming back to the human outpost just for check-ups; your check-ups. Not that he detested knowing about your health, but he generally detested hospitals, doctors, anything that had to do with machines, the feedback, wires, tubes. He knew he was inexperienced in this field, but he, equally or more so Neytiri, despised these human machines more than anything. Which is why when the time finally came, they had Dr. Mason and Norm come to their Hometree, with of course your permission given this was your procedure, and assist the Tsahik, your mother-in-law to help with the preparation of your said labor.

Though he’d been a bit stubborn to this, you, Neytiri, Mo’at, Dr. Mason, and Norm had convinced him to agree. Neytiri too had been…thickly stubborn at allowing Dr. Mason in, she wanted you to partake in the natural birthing process of the Na’vi, but after hearing the precautions a pregnant human must take, let alone one with your condition and carrying twins, she reluctantly accepted this as long as she was present within the room.

“You are very calm, ma Jake. It is worrying.” Neytiri pointed out, and his pinned down ears flickered at the sound of his mate’s voice and eyes fell over the weak strain of your smile. He matched your expression and let his gaze focus on the interlace of Neytiri’s azure fingers delicately wrapped around your ringed ones, letting the sight stir his stomach and let his own hand rest over the both of yours. “I’m calm because you both are. But Mason and Norm aren’t here yet and it worries me that they and Mo’at–”

“Do not make her anxious, Jakesully,” His mother-in-law had interjected in a low tone and he turned to see her giving him a firm look as she prepared for the coming events. “They will be here in time.”

“Right, right, right. Yeah, sorry.” His head bobbed with each word, knees pressing into the ground. “Supposed to be a supporting and loving husband, not some commanding chief or marine, I know–” Neytiri’s lips pursed to contain her slight smile, and both stared down at you as a giggle bubbled from your chest. He, Jake, was enamored with the sight of them, of her, of you in this second, especially in this second given the circumstances. Your perseverance was admirable to both of them, and while Jake wished to be like you, he also wished to be like Neytiri, have more of her support and cooperativity.

He watched as you gave Neytiri a smirk, those gentle eyes illuminating as always and your voice dropped to a whisper. “Commanding chief, huh? And a commanding marine? Tiri, my love, that doesn’t sound bad now, does it?”

Your jesting statement caused Neytiri’s eyes to roll, yet their gold hue softly enlivened and warmed. “Srane, ma Y/N. It is an interesting idea, is it not, ma Jake?”

Once more; perseverance, support, cooperativity, commendable in his perspective. You for creating jokes at a time like this, Neytiri for going along with it in hopes to ease the tension accompanying them all, to ease the torment assisting their minds and unwind the wires of anxiety around their hearts. “I love yall so damn much.” he sighed out.

“You influence us, ma Jake. You are what you say, rubbing off on me.” She grinned at the way your head perked up and laid your other hand over his forearm, “Baby, that’s another good one! Wanna rub off on us, Jake, my protector?” He chuckled softly, and just when he was about to respond, a very late Norm and a very late doctor and what also seemed as two more scientist / doctors walked in with two other Na’vi males assisting on each side, just as guidance and precautions under Jake’s order, departing with a firm nod of his, and his lips portrayed a tight stroke with a puncture between his brows. Norm mouthed a ‘sorry’ while Dr. Mason greeted you all, including the Tsahik.

“We only permitted the doctor and the other into our home,” Neytiri frowned, shoulders narrowing as she eyed the female who squirmed under her inspecting gaze. “Again, we need as much help as we can get in here,” Dr. Mason informed, settling down in front of you and put together the minor equipment she carried, every Na’vi present in your atmosphere grimacing at the sound they created.

“Look at you, round and ready to go,” Norm mused and you rolled your eyes at his remark but smiled nonetheless. You, well your belly was incredibly round, and incredibly large for its size to carry two babies. Then again, these babies may not be human to which is why your labor was to be taken with attentiveness and caution, not wanting to harm you or them, yet if needed, with your permission already, you’d already accepted the harm that would be delivered to you. “So…do we have any questions before we continue with this process?”

Your hold on your wife’s hand tightened, your hold on his arm tightened and your face portrayed the subtle strokes of sadness and anguish. Both knew the meaning to this, and Neytiri’s lashes fluttered rapidly and softly spoke to you, reassuring and loving, while Jake chose to zone out for he did not want to comprehend it and let the Tsahik, Norm, the other docs, and Dr. Mason continued with your mates present.

It was when the beeping sounds of the machine spiked and blocked away his thinking and blinked him back to reality. It was Neytiri, her eyes livid and tormented as she stared at Dr. Mason and her mother, yelling in their native language while Mo’at deeply frowned and tried to respond with a firm voice. Shouts, frantic movements from the others. He wasted no time in launching to your side and grabbed ahold of your hand.

He was too distressed, too agitated to comprehend the grasp of their Na’vi language in this case. “Someone tell me what the hell is going on! What is wrong with her— Neytiri!” If he weren’t so caught up in his booming octave, he would have noticed the flash of pain across your face. Neytiri, however, did, and stopped from helping her mother with this procedure and rushed to soothe you. “Ma Jake, mawey.” She hissed quietly, then let her palm fall over your jumble by chest. “ Ma seykxel txe’lan. Strong. Breathe. We are here…”

Jake’s ear flattened at the jitters of your heartbeat and whirled his head towards you. He let his own hand, quivering, laid over Neytiri’s and your eyes, those beautiful eyes, frantic and desperate gave them the notion to go into your breathing practices. “C’mon angel, I know, I know, baby. C’mon, jus’ breathe for us…”

All efforts were meaningless, hopeless, faithless and he was on the point of collapsing in a void while she tried grasping onto that hope, that faith for the three of you.

“Mo’at, the babies’ heart rate is lowering. Y/N’s heart is too fast right now and so is her blood pressure,” Dr. Mason’s lenses fogged up, the agony unclear to her eyes with a determined press of her lips. “We have to do a C-section. We have to cut one in order for both the babies to live.”

“We do not partake in such things—”

“Neytiri’s right, no—“ their protests were cut short with a rise of the Tsahik’s pointer finger, yellow orbs disappearing under closed eyelids for just a second before they reappeared. “If that is what it takes, that is what we must do.” Neytiri wanted to scream, to yell that this was not their way, but she bit her tongue for she respected her mother’s word, she respected the Great Mother’s will.

“Jake, Neytiri, Norm, I’m going to need the three of you to step out—”

“My daughter is to stay.” Mo’at interjected and pointed her gaze at Neytiri. “If you are tsakarem, if you are to be Tsahik, you must stay.”

Your panicking eyes slightly eased at the knowledge of one of your mates being here, but you needed them both in this moment here, with you despite those words. Words that Jake and Neytiri despised, words that would rather go ignored than complied. They both promised, he promised he’d be there and yet here he was, outside the Tsahik’s hut, hurting and breaking his promise.

“Strong heart, angel. Use that strong heart, y’hear me?” were the final words he said, sharing a deep understanding with Neytiri’s irises before giving her hand a comforting squeeze before parting his way from his wives.

He could simply surge himself in, with no one to stop him. He was Olo’eyktan, he was the People’s leader. Who were they to stop him? Sure, Norm was here, but his lanky strength was no match for Jake’s. But he knew you would not like this, you wouldn’t want him to act against his support and Neytiri wouldn’t approve especially, and it was not in his book to disappoint his girls once more. So he decided to set his nerve racketing behind on the nearest surface, and allowed his ability to feel, to hear his angel’s wonderful heartbeat try and soothe him, the hear his lovely Neytiri’s enhanced heart twine and support your own; if he couldn’t be near them, the very least he could have is the abnormal rhythm of your two joined heartbeats.

“Relax, Jake. She’s gonna be fine.” Norm, grunting as he settled beside his friend, reassured, and let his arm fall over dense shoulders as they both sat a good distance from where you resided in, and Jake couldn’t contain the shaking exhale that left his churning chest when his baby boy and girl ran their way into his arms; as if they felt his distress and let their father nuzzle himself into their little frames.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“It’s been over 24 fucking hours—” Jake’s eyes cautiously peered down at Neteyam who had his head resting over his shoulder, the damp feel of his saliva proving him to be asleep from the gentle bouncing motions Jake created. “— and they still haven’t said anything!”

Norm — having a curious Kiri who fiddled with the strands of his hair and odd human clothes in his arms — sighed in front of him because of course, Jake was not only impatient but overly dramatic at times. “First of all, it’s been at least over 60 minutes since. Second, stop being so antsy. She’d want you to be calm right now — Y/N’s strong.”

He rolled his eyes at his remark and didn’t care if Norm smirked slightly at his tactics. He only cared about you. “Just be patient—”

“I don’t care about damn patience! I want to know what’s happening with my wife!” His yell awoken the boy in his arms, causing him to groan and stir awake with a silent whimper while Kiri could only babble loudly — possibly angrily — at her father. “Shh…shh, Teyam. My bad, baby boy.” He crooned, patting his back and bounced him once more. “Daddy’s being a pain in the ass right now…”

“Jake, I don’t know what’s bound to happen but—”

His ears hitched, focused on a melody that he could not manage to detect and he strongly shushed Norm. “H-hol’ on….something’s wrong.”

“Jake, what’s going on—

“Quiet.” Fear clawed at his chest, and Norm frowned at the way Jake slowly strided forward. “I, uh, I can’t…I can’t hear—”

Neteyam’s head lifted and both men stared between the boy and Kiri as they looked at each other, their pointed ears creating the same motion Jake’s had done second ago, a quiet whimper leaving them both before they out of nowhere started to thrash, to cry, to whine in their hold. “Woah, woah, hey, Kiri, calm down—”

Neteyam writhed, he grunted, little fists pushing against his father’s chest as his nose scrunched up. “Sa’nu!” Sa’nu! Jake’s heart dropped to his stomach at the boy’s call for you. He pushed the boy into Norm’s arms and let his feet march him to the faint inhales you mustered, the weak thumps your heart created — yes, faint, yes, weak, but still existent enough for him to know you were alive. But now, he didn’t feel, he didn’t hear the combination he knew, he memorized.

He ignored the cries from his children, he ignored the calls from his friend, he continued forward with a blurred vision without a care for the world around him. All he could hear now were the mournful cries that up to this day pitted him with aching guilt, the cries he was responsible of before; Neytiri’s cries

The woven curtains to the Tsahik’s tent were roughly pushed aside, and it startled the two other human unknown nor uncared for named doctors present in the room. He didn’t give them any care, not when his eyes panned over the spot you once laid on the fabric covered ground but now you rested in the desperate and softly swaying cradle of Neytiri’s arms, and he held back a whimper; at least he tried convincing himself you were resting. Tried convincing himself that Neytiri’s tears were all but sadness, that they were tears of happiness, of such proudness for what you had just done. No one pushed him out, no one stopped him, yet no one needed to because his feet, his body froze.

You looked as if you were in a peaceful slumber, yes. That’s what you were, simply sleeping, simply trying to catch your breath and process the immense strain you've experienced. That’s what he tried to cement in his mind, that’s what he tried to tell himself because no other option could be accepted.

Yet he and Neytiri had both seen, had both memorized the many occasions you’d fallen asleep in their warmth and he tightly held onto the indulgence of believing the definition of your state was sleep. He had mastered the structure of everyone’s heart within his fortress; and now there was a pure structure that had been torn from it, from existence.

Neytiri’s gaze lifted from your frame and collided with his own, those golden eyes immersing in tears and without his volition, he took 5 steps forward and looked back down at you. Motionless you were; drained of complexion yet body drenched with your own blood, devoid of life. Your heart was lifeless, your chest unmoved. No breath animated your being, and in the absence of ascent, there could be no descent. Though there was an ascent — the ascent of Neytiri’s wretched cries — and for that ascent came the descent — Jake’s descent. He had been unaware of his hard fall to the ground, right beside Neytiri, right where you were.

“Angel, baby, c’mon,” He whimpered, trying to block away the way Neytiri’s sobs tore him apart as he grabbed you from her hold, large arms carrying you, shaking palm grasping your washed out face, inspecting those features that remained angelic, that remained with a fading light he desperately tried to keep from seeping through his fingers.

“Y/N, open those eyes for me, y-yeah? Those pretty eyes—”

“She…She is with Eywa now, ma Jake.”

Months after holding back, after swallowing his pain and tears, those whispered, broken words erupted into a miserable yell of your name.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Jake’s conscience had been tormented with the many deaths he’d been responsible for. He carried that misfortune with him always, he had embraced that responsibility and let it continue to shadow him and he never pushed or numbed it away because he was deserving of it, to the point that if the time came for his own death, he’d more than gladly embrace it.

But the death he would much rather not embrace in this life, in any other life, was yours.

To which is why he strongly chose to let numbness to its work within his broken soul. Numbness as he remained without lifting a single finger, without releasing a ragged breath or tear, sitting a good distance outside the Hometree, letting Pandora’s nature blanket him with apathy.

It was better this way, he said inwardly, to not feel. To suffer in his own agony in silence for if he revealed it, he would destroy the little peace he thought that was residing in his fortress. It was odd, the way the forest was silent. No chirping, no creek, no breeze. Just silence, a silence he accepted and let it become one of his smallest comforts.

It only lasted for a limit however, and he huffed out a sigh as the subtle to rapid little steps amongst the soil filled his ears before the ones they belonged to could come to view. “Daddy!”

A smile, forced and exhausted, strained the corners of his mouth as Kiri jolted into his arms. “Hey, babygirl…”

“Prrnen! See prrnen!” He ignored her words by focusing his attention on her hair, lightly pulling on the braid fallen over her shoulder only for her to grumble at him.

A long azure figure, one he wanted nothing more than to avoid at this moment because he knew what she held, came to his eyesight; Neytiri. In her hand was Neteyam’s little one, the boy’s head fallen and gaze staring at the ground as they approached his father. Jake’s head tilted at this, noting the way his little ears were pinned back and a sniffle scrunched his pink nose.

“Neteyam.” The boy stayed quiet much to his dismay, and he frowned deeply.

“He has not been himself for the past days,” his mate, his wife, spoke up. He didn’t want to go on without acknowledging her, so his chin tilted to meet her golden hues — ardent and unreadable, but tinging the slightest of remorse. “You would know this if you paid attention to your son—”

“I’m not in the mood for this, Neytiri.” He knew he should have said that, he knew her words were truthful, but he only sighed, stood up before picking Kiri up and walked over to Neteyam. “Hey, ‘Teyam the mighty warrior…” the smallest of peers from the 1 in a half year old. Guilt panged his chest, knowing he’s well deserving of the little attention his son gave him. “Want me to carry you?”

Nothing. Not until his little arms extended towards the air, a quiet ‘Srane’ leaving him. He now had both children in his arms and his cheek very slightly hoisted when they nestled into his shoulder, tightening their arms and legs around him.

Neytiri watched. She watched the way he interacted with them, she inspected the way his face softened when they provided him the comfort he needed in this moment, the way he inhaled deeply before staring into her eyes, and she knew and felt his grief.

Grief was something not to mourn for long in their way of life. The Great Mother provided, created, nurtured, and she included taking in return. The birth of your children has provided for their fortress, and had been a blessing despite the taking Eywa had made — yet Jake could not see that. Jake could not accept it, accept them. He didn’t want to celebrate the twins’ birth, to which is why Mo’at and her had privately connected one of them to the Great Mother, unaware to him, he didn’t help create their songcords — he didn’t even spare them a glance from the moment they were in his presence. He didn’t even hear the name given, see what the pondering question everyone asked; if they were human, if they were Na’vi, if they had inherited your ability to breathe Pandora’s air, if they were healthy.

And it hurt Neytiri’s heart because she knew you wouldn’t want this, that you would be more than happy to celebrate their birth, to see their father meet, love and accept them. Hurt she was because he had thought he’s left Neytiri to do the mourning when she couldn’t even do it properly; she had her, their children to take care of.

When she caught onto the regret in his eyes and apology nearly falling from his lips, she saw how his gaze flickered to the squirming cooing sounds that came from the prrsmung wrapped over her chest, how Jake’s features hardening.

“You must meet—”

“Keep those things away from me.” He knew his harsh words sliced deep, and instead of feeling the gnawing guilt, he rather Neytiri felt the sliver of pain he wanted to avoid; he knew he was not being fair, and she knew this too yet didn’t say anything. “I’ll head back later. Leave ‘Teyam and Kiri with me. You go and do whatever it is you need.”

Neteyam huffed at his father’s words, as if understanding word for word and motioned to be put down. Reluctantly, Jake did, and he wasted no time in rushing towards his mama’s side, ignoring the look of surprise among Jake’s face. All Kiri did was tug harshly on her dad’s hair with a screech of his name but stayed in his hold.

And Neytiri said nothing, for Jake’s dagger of words had cut deep within Neytiri’s heart and she did not want to cause a scene in front of her children, so she simply nodded and turned to depart from him, leaving him with the only comfort of his little girl’s small embrace.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Nights fell upon the mated pair with the same pattern — nights where Jake, despite his numbness, would still hold Neytiri to his chest in an unyielding grip with the only sounds being heard were quiet sobs — until that would be assisted with the wails of not only one but two infants, two he always dipped his head down and even shut his eyes to not spare a glance at them or the two cradles they laid in, and let Neytiri peel away from his embrace to check on them, followed by the babbled questions Neteyam and Kiri would make.

Jake didn’t care about meeting them because they knew nothing of you. Sure, they came out of you, you cared for them when you held them in your womb, but they didn’t know who you were. Not how Neytiri did, not like how he did. You were theirs, their angel, their peace, and those two had gone and destroyed that peace no matter what his mate said. He didn’t understand why and how Neytiri could even look at them and hold them without the churn, the pain. Those two…things didn’t know you, they didn’t love you like they did. This was his and Neytiri’s loss and he almost had thought she didn’t care, but oh, how ridiculous and unfair that was on his part. He knew she mourned you, he knew she was just as destroyed as he had yet tried maintaining her ground for her — their children.

Still, even then he found the babies’ cries unjustified.

But, to his dismay, there may have been a single thing those kids and Jake had in common; the sleepless nights. Wide awake he’d be while Neytiri would slumber against his chest, trying to drown in a dreamless sleep in hopes to ease her grief, and days carried out with his once well known bluntness and serious demeanor while attending to his duties as Clan Leader, his slight distraction would only be Kiri and Neteyam who, even though just little ones, seemed to have disagreed with his behavior to those siblings of theirs. He didn’t speak to Norm much, and conversations with Neytiri led to minor arguments that kept his mouth shut before he crossed a line. He considered and knew, just as he always felt, that everything he touched and surrounded him suffered.

His little boy suffered. His little girl suffered. Neytiri, his wife, his mate, her unwavering love and balance she tried maintaining within this fortress, suffered. Those twins suffered.

His chin was turnt to the sky and he swallowed thickly when he heard those cries soften into wondrous coos and whimpers, his eyelids falling shut to contain his tears.

Tonight did not carry that repetitive pattern however. A good 30 minutes after Neytiri had emerged from their hammock, his movements started shifting out as well, his bare feet quietly hitting the ground, long legs slowly leading towards where Neytiri and little Neteyam and Kiri sleeping soundly on the ground near the two cradles, the cradles he, you, and her made together mere months ago. He stood a good distance away from the three — five of them, fingers tapping over the stripes and scars etched across the sides of his thighs.

“Sweet, beautiful girl. You poor child,” he heard Neytiri softly croon, “you only wanted to be with your brother…you have your sa’nu’s eyes — srane, you do.” He heard the break in her voice, the deep inhale following from her statement and frowned.

A boy and girl, huh?

He took another step forward, and it was then that he felt his heart drop at the sight of them; the boy was one of them — Na’vi, with a head full of dark and rebellious tendrils brushing over his forehead, bright round irises, but it was the little girl that shocked him the most. The little girl who was human — peculiar, neutral tones, and so utterly tiny as she was curled into the baby boy’s blue frame as his little hands so very lightly wrapped over her petite frame. Both were the same age, yet the size was clearly distinct and utterly astounding to him.

Jake shuddered when the little boy’s familiar eyes blinked at him, the way the little baby girl smiled faintly with the soft brush of Neytiri’s fingertip. He immediately thought how was it possible that she could breathe, how was she and that toddler size boy could’ve been in the same space within your stomach? How did he not squeeze that little girl in there with his normal Na’vi chunky size?

He didn’t move and stayed quiet for a long time until he sighed and knelt down beside Neytiri. “Hey.”

Her mouth lifted briefly but kept her gaze fixated among the babies, not uttering a word. His voice was rasped, his throat raw from the cries he’d swallow down, and before she could even feel sorrow for him she held her tongue and continued to softly speak to them in her language.

His mind was too muggled to understand right now, and she caught onto his shift of attitude with the way his eyes went round, the way a furrow pinched his brows as she watched him curiously interact with the babies.

“The human doctor had said it was impossible for both to have survived.” Neytiri muttered, and his ears flitted at her words. “But our Y/N was strong enough to hold them. To not let them die.” Her forehead creased then. “She said to keep them separated from each other. It could be too dangerous for her with the size of Lo’ak compared to her but they cry every time they are not together. L—”

“Lo’ak?” He questioned in wonder. Her lips pursed, “Lo’ak. A name Y/N loved very much. She adored the meaning of it…Freedom love.”

He gave a small nod as his lips trembled into the smallest of smiles. Of course you’d like that. “A-and her?”

That is when Neytiri’s lips parted and he heard the way her heartbeat hesitated until it thumped its profound rhythm before she smiled brokenly. “Seyk’lan. The meaning of seykxel txe’lan — Strong heart, because this little one right here, was very strong beside this big warrior.” She softly teased, fingers brushing over the boy, Lo’ak’s round little belly.

His chest tightened, and he felt overwhelmed at the new found knowledge of their names, of their meanings, and stared at them for a while. Jake planted his palms over his knees, his shoulders hunching as he turned to look at Neytiri, really look at her. The smooth royal contours of her face had been drenched stained with tears, those golden hues of her eyes flickered in a way that showed her struggle to keep their vibrance, and her lower lip fought hard to not tremble the way it always did when she was upset. Neytiri always said you had a strong heart and so did she when she was fighting to keep going for her kids, for you, for him.

It was then that he welcomed the guilt to claw him inside, and he hesitated to reach out and provide her the comfort she so needed. Her fibers sizzled at his coming words, throat tightened. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go through with this alone. Shouldn’t let you shoulder these two by yourself and shouldn’t take it out on you — I just….I didn’t…” tears evaded him now, and his head fell to try and conceal them.

But Neytiri’s forefinger lifted his chin and gave him a slight smile and shook her head. “You mourn differently. know you need time. And I will give it to you, ma Jake. I was prepared for it…for our Y/N to depart from us and yet…” her shaking exhale caused him to reach for her, palm sliding to cradle the trembling angle of her jaw. “Eywa has reason for all of this. I trust, I believe …. But no amount of preparation or trust can push the hurt that comes with losing the ones you love. W-with Y/N. But we must remain strong, Jake.” She breathed out and rested a hand over his leg. “For Neteyam. For Kiri. For Lo’ak and Seyk’lan—”

“Our fortress will always be broken without her, Neytiri. The pain won’t ever leave, it won’t be the same. I-I don’t want to forget this pain, baby. It’s only fair that I keep feeling it for us.”

“The pain does not have to leave because it never will, ma Jake. You do not mean and you will not be carrying this alone,” His forehead kissed hers, channeling a warming love and soothing he desperately and finally let himself crave.

“Those kids won’t mean the same to me…” her nose feathered over his lovingly, and a sad smile graced Neytiri’s lips as his shaky breath met her skin. “Neglecting them will not do you anything to make you feel better from losing her. Carrying that hurt alone will never grant you peace of mind.”

Light croons and babbles pulled Jake’s attention, his temple now brushed over Neytiri’s forehead as he craned his neck to the single handwoven cradle which both laid in, and he nearly smiled at how both Neteyam and Kiri had stirred in their sleep and hazily reached to touch the babies. They cuddled into each other, little Lo’ak’s body hunched over hers as if hugging her. “What if I can’t accept them? What if I can’t bring myself to take care of them? I can’t disappoint our angel like that.” He shook his head as he stared back at her.

“They want to know you, ma Jake. You are their father, and I’m certain they want to know about her from us.” Neytiri’s words made his ears pique, at how she said they want to know about you, at how they must learn about who you were to them, to their fortress. His gaze bore into hers, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “And we’ll do this together, right? You’ll help me — and I’ll help you with them. Y-yeah?”

She released a wet chuckle, his thumb stroking away the tear over her cheekbone. “We will help and love one another because we chose to. Our Y/N made a choice; to bore our two babies, and she accepted it because she knew we would care for them, we would give them a part in our fortress, Jake. We have a choice. One that is not too late to make; to love them. They have chosen us.” Jake’s chest tightened as he reminisced about the first encounter, one of the first words you ever said to him and he choked out a sad chuckle.

“And this is the easy part, ma Jake,” she softly told him while entwining their fingers together. “Because they are easy to love…look at them.”

He did, only to see the two were already staring back at him while their much tinier hands were in the mighty Neteyam and brilliant Kiri’s little palms. Little Lo’ak smiled and babbled. “He has your eyes, ma yawne.” He grinned at the boy and then turned to Seyk’lan, the girl cooed softly at him, at her father, her tiny hand barely curling around his pinky.

“Prrnen! ‘Lan and Lo’ak, daddy!” Kiri squealed, and Jake could only let a choked up chuckle out. Emotions spiraled within his heart as he got a good look at them; at Seyk’lan’s pure little heart in beautiful sync with Lo’ak’s, at the way she harbored your sparkling eyes with a sliver of a golden hue, at the way he formed a smile in perfect balance of his, Neytiri’s and yours. Eyes and a smile he now knew why Neytiri had grown to love profoundly, why she was called out to the same way yours had, eyes and a smile he thought he had lost forever. Those babies carried parts of you that embodied your angelic soul and features, and it was then that he let himself break.

With the help of Neytiri, he reached for them both, the baby girl, his other baby girl, frail and tiny in the way that you said; almost the same size as his wide palms. And the boy, his other boy, whines and Jake chuckled tearily. “I gotcha, kid. Ain’t gonna separate you from your sister, don’t worry…”

He cradled them carefully against his chest, held Seyk’lan’s tiny form with a single hand lovingly and an arm enveloped Lo’ak to give them the privilege to still snuggle against one another. He let a sob pour out from his lips as he held his twins, as his other children, Neteyam and Kiri settled down between Neytiri and himself, carrying a gummy smile. Jake’s gaze met his wife’s, and he couldn’t help but chuckle because she had been right. You had been right; choosing to love these two glazed with your complexion didn’t come with difficulty, just as loving you came with no difficulty. This hadn’t been the equivalence of the fortress he had in mind at the start with his girls, but he accepted the changes bound to merge within it, just as it did in life.

— ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

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