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randomshyperson · 2 years ago

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Spring Break - Cheerleader!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Every year during Spring Break, you travel to a camp filled with outdoor competitions. It comes with a bonus of facing your rival from back when the whole thing started, and there's nothing more attractive than Wanda Maximoff kicking your ass in every game. Some might say you let her win just to see her smile, but maybe that's loser talk.

Warnings: (+18), enemies to lovers, so much teasing and bickering, a lot of making out and kissing, bottom!Cheerleader Wanda being a tease, soft first-time smut, semi-public, gays who can't keep their hands off each other, fluff, mild angst when they’re being stubborn, friends being done, high school but summer camp vibes, happy ending i promise. Words: 11.176k

A/N-> I’m back with enemies to lovers (and some smut finally). This fic is quite old, but it was abandoned; after seeing Wednesday and Bianca dueling I regained inspiration for what I was doing in the 5k that was already done. You can thank Netflix for this one. I wasn't sure whether to split it into two parts or not, but I think I have longer fics than this one so I decided to post them all together. If you notice there's a pause, because I wrote it as two different parts, you didn't.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--

There was something about pissing you off that made Wanda twitch.

It started so long ago, when you first bumped into each other at Avengers Camp three years ago, and Wanda had the best and most stressful Spring Break since high school began; all because you were there and she was winning.

Now, senior year had arrived, and the annual tradition of joining the spring games for an entire week in the middle of nature at one of the most renowned vacation camps in the United States was going to happen again.

Wanda likes to believe that she was not expecting this. It would actually be absurd to admit that she waited, every year, for the familiar image of your old Danvers cap and your bored expression leaving the bus that brought your schoolmates, but if Wanda would be honest, now sitting in the driveway waiting for their driver to finish unloading the car while she lets her gaze run across the entrance courtyard of the Camp, pretending not to look for someone and yet feeling her whole body warm-up when she recognizes the female figure in the crowd of students from the rival school, Wanda has to admit a few things. First, you grew annoyingly attractive every year. The second, she couldn't wait to beat your ass at every game.

"Man, I can't believe we're competing with the Skrulls again, it's the third year in a row." Her twin's complaint made Wanda blink away, her face half-reddened with fear that she had been caught staring. But Pietro seemed busy enough with his own complaints.

"Well, at least we're winning." Wanda retorted making him laugh.

"Fair point." He said and looked at her. "Speaking of which, do you know what games you'll be competing in this year yet?"

"Um, I think I'll check with the girls first. I don't want to end up alone in swimming like last year." Wanda mutters and Pietro nods in understanding.

Soon the monitors are addressing those who have already arrived, and Wanda loses sight of you - not that she was looking - and busies herself with going to the cabin that would be hers for the next week.

You, on the other hand, lose your bag in a pile.

"God, why does this always happen." You grumble in irritation as you manage to see the handle of your blue suitcase, below a few hundred others.

"Every year, Y/N. And I keep saying, carry your bag on your lap, and you keep ignoring me." Your sister, Carol, comments beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You roll your eyes, gently pushing her away. Carol is happy, with her dark, safe suitcase under her arm.

"Stop bugging me and help me." You grumble and she laughs before trying to find a better position for you two to pull your bag together.

With a little effort, you manage to pull your backpack out, and you stumble backward with a grunt - bumping into someone who keeps you from falling to the ground - as Carol pulls your bag out of the pile.

"Yay, teamwork!" She celebrates on the other side, but you are busy turning to thank her who held you up, only to face your best friend with a small smile.

"Bucky!" you greet him excitedly, turning your body to hug him tightly by the neck, and laughing when he spins you in the air.

You met Bucky at camp, and despite going to a rival school, you had enough things in common for the friendship to grow strong even though he was studying and living almost on the other side of the country. Fortunately, Skype and Whatsapp existed, and even as spring ended, you were still friends.

"Hello, my favorite Danvers. " He greets like that only to annoy your sister behind you, who rolls her eyes and chuckles, moving closer to hug him as well as soon as you let go. "How was your trip, girls?"

"Y/N slept the whole way." Carol replies.

"And Carol ate the whole way." You accuse taking your bag from her hand and ignoring the grimace to add, "Oh, no, wait, I made a mistake. She was actually daydreaming about Natasha Romanoff."

"Shut up!" Carol grunted quickly, trying to hit you, a soft pink appearing on her cheeks. You fled from her hands, laughing and running toward the check-in booth where the monitors were calling out names, and Bucky shook his head for interaction watching your sister run after you.

Avengers Camp was huge, and besides the cabins divided up among all the students who stayed there during the vacation seasons, there was a lake, volleyball and tennis courts, an auditorium, and even an arcade.

You were lucky to end up in a cabin with your sister and the other girls in your class - the brilliant Gwen Stacy and Darcy Lewis - who didn't seem too interested in the sports competitions but would surely win any of the scientific tests.

After packing up, all the campers were called to the main cabin, where there were tables scattered throughout the area, where the teenagers were seated ready to enjoy the delicious lunch and listen to the welcome speech.

Nick Fury was the Camp Director and no one could ever tell the real story behind his eye patch, each year new campers came up with new legends that made you laugh - like the story that an alien cat had been responsible for cutting the limb off.

"[...] It gives me great pleasure to welcome the honorary Skrulls from California!" Announced Fury and all the students of your school made a chorus of claps and shouts of celebration, banging on their desks. Fury laughed from his seat in the center of the room, waiting for the commotion to pass before announcing the other school. "And equally welcome, the so-far undefeated champions of the Spring Competitions, the Avengers!"

The rival school made an even better commotion, almost starting a food war. But you were having fun, even though your school had never beaten the Avengers in their home, it was to be expected that they would want to keep their camp as an undefeated venue. Even though last winter during the interclass event, the soccer team lost badly to another school. There was a taunt among the students that if the Avengers played away from home, they would lose. But you and the rest of your school were more interested in proving that you could beat them anywhere, and this was your last chance to be part of it.

As Fury continued with the general announcements - about the rules, and the competitions, concepts that were already very familiar to you after three years - you felt Bucky pull your cap off your head, muttering something about manners that made you laugh.

You were adjusting the tousled strands of hair when Carol gave you a gentle nudge.

"Your majesty will speak now." She sneers and you aren't even confused, knowing full well what this is about before you even raise your eyes to the center of the room again, and feel your stomach do a full turn at seeing Wanda Maximoff step up to the podium with the confidence and posture worthy of a queen.

You met Wanda in first grade, and from the first conflicting interactions, you have an obligation to call her a princess. Because the perfect little girl's posture is too annoying for you not to do so. This, and the fact that her father is a famous politician, and the family is deep in the money, kind of lives up to the nickname. Also, it gives you real amusement to see the pink in her cheeks when you call her that.

And Wanda, of course, is the representative speaker at the games. So every year until she graduates, she announces the competitions and collects the names, as well as basically running the whole thing with the other monitors. It's like Queen Bee and her subjects, and neither you nor any of your friends stop making fun of it.

"I didn't think the Maximoffs were going to come this year." Bucky comments low beside you, as Wanda announces that year's games. And you frown in confusion.

"What, but Wanda has basically been representing this competition forever." You reason, but Bucky shrugs his shoulders.

"I know, but I heard they were going back to their country for college." Bucky retorts. "And you have to admit, while Avengers Camp is fun, it's not worth much here for us to get admission points."

Carol murmurs in agreement. "Man, now I'm pissed they didn’t leave. Imagine a year without having to put up with Little Miss Perfect, a stolen dream." She mocks and you force a laugh, a strange feeling in your stomach. You should be happy at the possibility of not having to put up with Wanda. But it occurs to you that the games wouldn't be as much fun without her.

Clearing your throat, you poke at your food with your fork.

"I think I'll sign up just for racing this year." Bucky comments beside you. "We have Football season, and I don't want to end up accidentally hurting myself before the games."

"But you love wrestling." You say but he shrugs his shoulders, offering you a small smile.

It occurs to you as the announcements end, and students have to move to leave their names for the competitions, that the seniors are not very excited. Probably the stress of college admissions, you can relate to that yourself, still, it's a little sad to see how little participation from classmates your age.

"Danvers sisters, good to have you back for another year." Fury greets you excitedly as soon as you and Carol approach the registration stand - where there is a small crowd of students trying to choose which games they will compete in, and put their names on the prepared murals.

"Hey, Nick!" Carol greets back, doing a handshake that she never taught you with the principal. You merely offer him a smile. "How's the family?"

You took the attention away from your sister as you approached the mural that read Wildness Competitions, adjusting your cap slightly as you did so. There were many options for activities at Avengers Camp, and you usually chose mostly the ones that the public school wouldn't give you access to for the rest of the school year, like Hispism or Fencing, the latter being a secret talent.

"Well, if it isn't the Skrulls’ Golden Armor Knight." A female voice mocked behind you, and you were smiling before you even turned around.

"Maximoff, it's always a displeasure." You retorted sarcastically, your hands in your pockets. Wanda doesn't flinch at your rudeness, tossing her hair to the side as she approaches with some buttons which she as a representative, needs to put on the murals to signal about the teams.

"Having trouble picking your sport this year, Danvers? A suggestion, try to remember that you are going to lose no matter what."

"Really? 'Cause as far as I remember, that shiny trophy up there has my name on it." You retort nodding to where the fencing awards are set in the corner of the main hall. Wanda rolls her eyes. "But don't worry, princess, I'll go easy on you this year."

Wanda lets out a wry laugh, her eyes glittering in defiance.

"I guess it's more the other way around, huh?" She retorts. "Or in case you've forgotten, the highest number of wins is still mine."

Wanda had a point. You could win at Fencing all you wanted - and get the ridiculous nickname of Skrulls’ Golden Armor Knight from the girl just to annoy you - but Wanda still won everything. From archery to fighting to spelling. Never in a million years would you admit that maybe you were losing because you were busier trying not to be distracted by her annoyingly pretty face.

"Let's see how this year turns out." You tell her with clear defiance in your voice, and Wanda smiles, moving closer, and you swallow dryly, your body tensing up. But she is just reaching for something behind you - a jar with other buttons - and offers you an innocent smile.

"Game on, Danvers." She says, grabbing one of the items and placing it in your hands before turning around, hips swaying more than necessary as if she knew exactly where you were going to look, and you choke softly, your face heating up before you shake your head and focus on the badge in your hands. The symbol of your school pinned on it.

–//–

The first day of competitions was a complete success for the Avengers, which means it was complete hell for you.

Unlike basically all the rest of your colleagues who were taking it easy, you almost destroyed a snack machine that refused to deliver your energy drink after you finished in second place for the fourth consecutive activity. If anyone asked, you were annoyed because of the little victorious smile Wanda had on her face all morning, but no one asked, because Carol had to drag you away from the brunette to avoid you jumping on her neck and pulling that little smile off yourself.

"It's so strange to see you like this." Your sister comments as soon as you guys are so back at the cabin, and you flopped down on the bed, grunting irritably against the pillow.

Gwen - who participated in the short race and was still wearing the same uniform as you - handed Carol the small bottle of energy drink that the machine released after you and Wanda got into a heated argument.

"Like what?" you asked confused with your voice muffled by the pillowcase. Your sister laughed.

"So angry." She clarified by sitting down in one of the armchairs to take off her shoes. "I'm the hothead Danvers, you know? You're like, so good vibes all the time."

"I agree, and I don't even hang out with you guys that much." Gwen remarks before moving to grab her shower stuff. You prop yourself up on the bed with a chair.

"What are you trying to tell me?" You ask your sister, and she gives a short chuckle, shrugging.

"Nothing, I just think it's weird." She mumbles. "You're so calm usually, but just walk into the same room as Wanda and you turn into a ticking time bomb. It feels like she has some sort of switch, or as that other saying goes, of the matchstick and the spark-"

"This conversation doesn't make any sense." You interrupt by frowning and standing up. "I am as I have always been, and it's not my fault if Wanda is the most annoying creature on the planet who keeps wanting to beat me at everything. I'll be taking a shower before you come up with any other weird sayings."

The locker room was a complete mess, but at least you were distracted by Gwen's comments about the competition and about the Avengers planning a sleepover to care about.

Since the next competitions were not until the afternoon, you finished your shower and decided to put on a comfortable sweater to spend the next few hours with Bucky at the lake, and were just finishing putting on your socks when giggles attracted your attention.

Well, you recognized the sound, and you had a hundred insults ready to use, but when you turned your face and had the image of Wanda in a towel, they all disappeared with any other coherent thought.

She was laughing at some comment her colleague made, but when her gaze met with yours, her smile faltered.

"Hey, Danvers, nice running today." She complimented, the sentence loaded with sarcasm.

"Yeah, Y/N, congratulations on the silver medal." Wanda's friend, you think her name is Monica, said and unlike the brunette, she seemed completely sincere.

You didn't respond with more than a hum of understanding, suddenly hyperaware that Wanda was without clothes just a few feet away from you. Turning your attention back to your socks, you cleared your throat softly, trying to keep your gaze in front of you.

Wanda took up a locker three feet away from yours. You could see her figure out of the corner of your eye. Long legs exposed and-"

You cleared your throat again, shaking your head quietly.

"Are you going to watch the boys' race, Y/N?" It was Monica who asked - from the locker behind yours - and you frowned slightly.

"Hmm, I'm not sure." You muttered, feeling your face heat up when you saw Wanda take her underwear out of the cabinet. " I don't really have anyone to watch there."

"Really? But I thought you and that long-haired cutie were going out." Monica comments excitedly, and you turn your head to her with confusion. "What's his name again? Ben?"

"Bucky." You correct and don't notice the way Wanda is glancing at you out of the corner of her eye, pretending to be busy with her own clothes. "And we're not dating, he's just my friend. Besides, he decided not to run."

Monica makes a noise of agreement, and you look away because she is suddenly changing and you don't want to be disrespectful.

"We'll watch Pietro race, but I'd honestly rather hang out at the arcade." Monica continues. "We can play something after the race, can you call your sister to join us?"

"Sure, Monica." You mutter finishing your shoes. You stand, and turn around, ready to say goodbye, but you face Wanda without a towel and simply freeze.

She, despite the soft pink appearing on her cheeks, holds your gaze, a small smile threatening to leave her lips as she works to put on her bra. You let your gaze lower, your heart racing in your ears as the image of full breasts and down to her belly and-"

"O-kay, I'll see you later." You gasp with a very hot face, stumbling off the bench and running so fast from the locker room that you leave Monica with a confused expression.

"What was that?" She asks, and Gwen, who you didn't even remember to say goodbye to, shrugs her shoulders.

"I think she may be trying to avoid arguments." She suggests, and the comment makes Wanda sigh softly as she finishes dressing. "Speaking of which, Maximoff, any chance you'll go easy on Y/N? She gets stressed when she loses to you."

Wanda chuckles. " Not a chance."

–//–

One of the afternoon competitions, besides the boys' race, was archery. Which meant watching Kate Bishop, a girl from the year before yours, destroy all the older students. Her coach, Clint Barton, kept smiling proudly with each completed trial, and you overheard some students from the Avengers saying how he was sure to write a letter of recommendation there when the time came for Kate to enter the university.

However, this year you were distracted. Bucky and Carol were sitting next to you, clapping and whistling for Kate along with her friends - Yelena Belova, who was coincidentally the sister of your sister's long-time crush, Natasha Romanoff, and Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, the latter two being on the soccer team with Bucky.

While everyone was impressed by the long-range targets, you were trying to keep the image of Wanda out of your head. The problem was that ever since you saw her without a towel in the locker room, the curve of her waist, and of her breasts seemed to have stuck.

"Are you okay?" Bucky's voice snapped you out of your fantasy. "Your face is red."

"I'm fine." You mumble grudgingly, stretching out your legs and letting your cap cover your eyes. "I'm just resting my eyes."

"Kate just hit a target in the sky." He comments. " It was pretty incredible."

"I bet it was." You merely reply, the image of something far more interesting in your head. Bucky makes a confused face but doesn't insist.

When the next contestant was announced, you grunted softly and started to get up, muttering that you were feeling queasy and were going to get some air. The ironic comment about you being outside already made by Carol was ignored.

You ended up in the back of one of the huts, and as you leaned your back against the wood, you took a deep breath.

Stop thinking about her. Stop thinking-

"Victory is already ours but you didn't have to skip the game." The teasing made you flinch. On any other day, before what happened in the locker room at least, any comment from Wanda would have been rebutted with an equally sarcastic one. But the image of her naked torso was still fresh in your mind, insistent, and you just wanted to be left alone.

"Fuck off, Maximoff." Aggressiveness failed in your tone, as your voice faltered hoarsely over your thoughts. You didn't have time to fix your mistake - Wanda was already mockingly chuckling, slow steps toward you.

"You know, I've been practically fencing back home. I even have a private tutor now." She informs you, to which you just roll your eyes without patience, trying to look at everything but the girl in front of you. "Maybe it's time for that trophy to stamp another name."

You chuckled dryly, stealing a glance at her. "In your dreams."

"No, I'll just kick your ass in reality." She assures you finally close enough. "It'll be too easy, you're all distracted this year..."

Your breath hitched in your throat as Wanda simply began to move closer, eyes intense and provocative as her tone of voice. You stared at her in shock at the magnetic tension between you, wondering if she would have the courage to break the distance as you wished to do. Wait, since when did you-

"Maximoff, Danvers." The voice of one of the monitors broke the momentum completely and made you both jump in fright, away from each other as if you had been burned. "The game is still going on. What are you two doing alone here? I hope it's not another fight-"

"No, sir-"

"Go mind your own business, Logan." You cut off the apologies of the good girl next to you, practically pushing her out of your way as you moved away from the cabin wall. The monitor grimaced at the hostility, but you knew him long enough to know you wouldn't have a problem. Logan was like an older sibling, and you didn't need another in this position. "We were just talking, or rather, Maximoff was bugging me, as usual."

Wanda snorted angrily, but Logan rolled his eyes impatiently at the whole thing. "Back to the game, girls." He ordered, ignoring your grumbling that you were already walking anyway and waiting for Wanda to do the same.

She followed you back to the bow field - Surprisingly quiet. You were too busy trying not to think about her to notice, and at some point, you both took completely opposite directions, drifting apart in the crowd of students.

Carol, however, noticed you coming, and as soon as you were seated again, she looked at you with a frown.

"What were you and Wanda doing?"

The question startled you as if your sister had been able to read your last thoughts. You grimaced immediately, knowing that your face was blushing.

"What? Nothing." You assured quickly, irritation in your voice. "We just bumped into each other in the entryway."

Carol didn't buy the lie judging by the look on her face, but she didn't have time to question - Kate won the event undefeated, and a crowd of clapping and celebrations erupted in the open field.

With the last match of the day, and having won the vast majority of the challenges, the Avengers were happy enough for a Victory party - Which was nonetheless a direct tease to the Skrulls, who by some miraculous luck, if manage to win all the next day's matches, could win the tournament. In this way, the crowd took the celebration back to the camp's main campfire, where the staff arranged dining tables and benches for the first outdoor meal of the holidays.

Alcohol was obviously not allowed, and that never stopped campers from smuggling it between disguised water bottles.

As one of the athletes for tomorrow's competitions, you decided to stay away from alcohol - quite unlike your sister, who took advantage of vodka shots to build up the courage to talk to Natasha Romanoff.

You were watching her awkward attempts from a safe distance with Bucky beside you, laughing softly when the boy announced that he was also going to try his luck with the one he liked tonight.

The thing was, Bucky didn't like anyone - As far as you knew. So the information caught you by surprise.

"Wait. What?"

But he chuckled, waving to a front with his glass, and you frowned trying to find the person. It took you a moment to realize that it was Sam Wilson, Co-Captain of the American Football Team. Avenger.

"Wow, he's..."

"An avenger, I know."

You chuckle, hiding your smile as you look down at your soda glass. "I was going to say handsome."

Bucky was blushing. You gave him the privacy to keep your gaze on Sam, knowing it would get worse if you stared at your friend.

"Fuck, yeah, I know." He gasped softly making you laugh.

"When did this happen?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, back at school?" He starts half uncertain. "We played together and he started to follow me on Instagram. One day, just playing conversation and even insults until it turned into a habit..." He jokes with a short laugh. "We came back here and it made sense. You know?"

You giggle at your friend's nervousness and clumsiness, finding the whole thing kind of adorable. "Yeah, I guess so." You say. "Go ahead, talk to him."

He sighs, deciding to turn his glass all at once before waving at you and heading off to talk to Sam Wilson.

Alone, you think about joining some colleagues closer to the fire, but nearby laughter catches your attention.

There is something about Wanda Maximoff's beauty that takes your breath away. And it's not fair that it seems to grow in the dim light of the moon and the stars. And Wanda, surrounded by her friends, laughing at something she has been told, with soft dimples in her cheeks, it is even more unfair the way the image makes your stomach turn nervously.

Has she always been beautiful like this, since her first win, and you were too busy with the game to notice? Or somehow, the school has changed you enough in the last year to notice that although Wanda was the most insufferable person you knew, she needs to be recognized as the most beautiful girl you have ever seen.

And then, if you think about it as you notice her not minding having her moment with her friends interrupted to help a freshman camper who seems lost as to where their cabin is, you'll realize that Wanda, when she's not competing with you and testing all your buttons, is not so insufferable. You will notice that she has always been kind and thoughtful and that people don't make her the leader of everything because she is rich or beautiful, but because she is the best at organizing games, and guiding people. And if you think about it, you will recognize that Wanda is just as tired as you are at the races, sweaty and breathless, and just as bright and hard-working at everything.

You suddenly think that Wanda deserved to win for the first time, as you have never acknowledged before. She must really be much brighter than you, because she surely wouldn't have taken all this time to realize what she was feeling.

Did it occur to you, so many years after you first laid eyes on her, that now you were really seeing her. There, near the campfire, accepting some more soda, so, so gorgeous.

'Fuck." You gasped in realization under your breath into the night, feeling something burn behind your eyes.

Wanda, as if she could guess, even sense the moment you pined for her attention, looked away for her friends until she met your gaze. She hesitated before assuming the same expression as always - Ready to torment you - but this time, you looked on the verge of tears when you stared back.

The second she noticed, she frowned in concern, all the masked arrogance falling from her face. But you didn't give her any time to react, you left your glass on the first table you could find and practically ran away from there. From her.

And of course, Wanda would be stubborn and insistent enough to follow you. Not daring to call your name on the way as if she guessed that you were going to run until you disappeared, or worse, turn to her and tell her to mind her own business.

When you walked inside the fencing hall, empty of course, she let her head work without thinking straight about what she was accusing you of.

You barely reached the sword cabinet when she walked in through the ajar door.

"I should have known you would try to cheat." She sneered convinced that she had caught you in the act. You froze, not for the reasons she imagines, your hands still on the closet lock. "That's sad, even for you, Danvers."

"Shut up."

She chuckled wickedly, crossing her arms as she stopped a little behind you. "Come on, if you admit it, I might consider not reporting you to the juries."

It was your turn to chuckle - Unlike her, almost tearfully. Wanda hesitated, confused, even more so when you turned to her, and your face had tears dried on the way there on your cheeks.

"Get out of here before I do something stupid."

But Wanda uncrossed her arms, concern on her face. "I've never seen you cry before."

"Wanda, I swear to god-"

"Not even when you broke your arm back in the first year." She recalls as she takes a step forward, and another, raising one of her hands toward your face slowly. You know you should move away, push her before she could realize how much you were trembling, how hot your skin was, but you couldn't move a muscle it. Wanda touched your cheek and you gasped, unable to keep your eyes open. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

It was so tender, so loving that your heart jumped in your chest. You almost sobbed, but instead, your emotions mixed and you raised your hand to her wrist, gripping hard but not pushing away, your angry eyes hiding insecurity that Wanda could only see because she knew you well enough, perhaps better than anyone else, even if neither of you had ever admitted this.

"Why do you care?" That's what you retorted, and it took her by surprise because Wanda didn't expect to have to answer that question. Not to her father, when she insisted that she was going back to Camp this year and he demanded a reason, nor to Pietro who questioned her why she still kept the brooch with the Danvers name on it that you lost to her in a card game in sophomore year. And even less to you, with tears in your eyes inside the hall of the only game she could never win. Her hesitation made you let go of her wrist, a tired sigh leaving your lips. "You don't. I...please, Wanda, just leave me alone."

You scared her. You looked so small, so insecure and uncertain, vulnerable. You? Never in a million years had you allowed Wanda to see you like this. She didn't know how to cope with it.

Your footsteps moved away, and by your breath, you were crying. She came closer but lost the courage to break your privacy. Her mind filled with anxiety - It didn't matter how long you had known each other. You were rivals, nothing more than that. Wanda had no right to invade your space.

"Go away." You insisted seriously with a voice hoarse with emotion and Wanda shuddered. It was different from the anger of losing - It was almost as if she had stabbed you in the back. Or had hurt you.

She swallowed dryly, and before you could repeat the order, she spoke:

"If I win tomorrow, you will tell me what happened."

The deal hangs in the air for a few moments, carrying the tension between the two of you. Wanda almost decides to leave without an answer when you sigh.

"What if I win?"

She smiles even though you can't see it. "You can pick your prize." She says and doesn't wait for you to think about it, clearing her throat before murmuring goodnight and leaving the hall.

You walk away to the trophy cabinet again and stare at one of the photographs of last year's Fencing team. You and Wanda are in it, in opposite positions. And for the first time in three years, you wish she were standing right next to you.

–//–

Sleep puts some sense into your head.

You were practically mortified with shame after thinking about the whole interaction with Wanda the night before, imagining that it now gave her enough power to somehow humiliate you and then hating that you thought that way of Wanda, who despite the rivalries, didn't seem the sort of person who would use a moment like that to mock you in the least.

So you had a foolproof plan the next morning: You would win fencing, and ask Wanda to stay away from you for the rest of the summer as your prize, succinctly hiding any unwanted feelings until it was time to leave Camp so that you would never have to see Wanda Maximoff again.

You think you were lucky this whole thing was happening in the last year.

The next day of competitions seemed to have been more aggressive than the previous one. To your complete happiness, the Avengers were irresponsible enough about the previous day's party to get careless.

The Skrull won the day's activities - Tight, you have to admit - but still champions. It wasn't all of them, unfortunately, but it would put both teams through to the final day of matches the next afternoon.

Fencing was one of the last competitions.

You managed to avoid Wanda and her worried glances all morning, and consequently, your friends and sister, who noticed the lack of fighting between you.

The fencing hall was considerably full when you arrived. Although most people didn't share much interest in the sport, everyone enjoyed watching you and Wanda compete.

She was already in uniform when you arrived, and you ignored with a tightness in your chest her attempt to search in your face for any discomfort from the previous night.

"You're late, Danvers." Professor Jacques Duquesne warned, also in uniform and with a sword at his waist. You sighed wearily, taking off your jacket to put on your uniform.

"Sorry, I... I didn't want to come." You muttered quietly, and the man frowned in confusion.

"What was that?" he asked without having heard, but you forced a smile.

"Nothing. Shall we get started?"

The spectators arranged themselves around you just as the teams were getting into position to compete. As Captains, you and Wanda were the last.

Your team won most of the duels, which on any other occasion would have cheered you up infinitely. But not today, because you spent most of the competition stealing glances at Wanda, who did the same, unsure of whether or not to approach you.

You had to face the champions of her team, as did Wanda with yours, and so when you finally went to face each other, you shared the slightly breathless but undefeated posture.

Wanda removed her protective helmet to drink water, and her slightly ruffled hair and rosy cheeks made your heart soar.

Somehow, you decided that teasing her was a better idea than complimenting her on how pretty she looked.

"Hey Maximoff, did Daddy pay for private lessons for the rest of your team as well?"

Your team laughed at the joke, but Wanda finished a long sip of the water leisurely, staring at you long enough to make you feel completely clumsy.

As soon as she returned the bottle to the table, she stared at you again.

"Are you really going to pretend nothing happened yesterday, Danvers?"

Everyone who was paying attention to the conversation whispered in curiosity, and your body froze. Wanda didn't seem to mind the audience one bit, but you huffed impatiently when Carol asked what she was talking about.

Without answering either of them, you turned your back and walked to the mat, waiting for the competition to begin.

As it turns out, teasing and ignoring Wanda seemed to have infuriated her. The hall filled with tension once the last duel began, and you, and all your confidence as an undefeated champion faltered when Wanda became a beast in the sport overnight.

She scored two points in a row, moving so quickly and masterfully that if you didn't have a reputation to uphold you would have congratulated her.

"It looks like we're going to have a new champion this year." Mr.Duquesne commented proudly and teasingly, receiving a chorus of soft celebration from the Avengers present.

You've had enough.

She tried hard to maintain a defensive position, but you scored within seconds of the announcement that the round had begun.

With the tip of the sword still on her chest, you teased:

"I guess we can't buy talent after all."

Wanda grunted angrily, without waiting for the next round to be announced, spun the sword striking yours, and resumed the duel. You fought back every blow with the mastery of a champion, but Wanda didn't back down once.

"What's the matter, Maximoff, can't get me?" You sneered between one defense and another, irritating her even more. When it looked like she was going to hit you, you spun your body around and hit her in the arm.

The audience, completely tense, split between boos and cheers of celebration. The teacher laughed impressed.

"It's a draw." He said. "Girls, get back to-"

But Wanda attacked you - For a microsecond, you managed to react in time and prevent her from scoring.

She seemed a lot angrier all of a sudden, and you kept up the defense, waiting for a gap that apparently she wasn't going to provide.

Long steps backward to avoid the sword in your direction, in an albeit hurried, fully coordinated dance, Wanda managed to take the fight to the outside.

The crowd got excited and drowned out Mr.Duquesne's protests about rules, the whole group following you and Wanda outside. Any campers who had previously been uninterested in watching the match took an immediate interest in the fight taking place, and it wasn't long before there was a large number of people in an open circle around the huts, trying to watch.

In one of the deflections, you had to do a somersault between two haystacks to dodge a blow that was impossible to block, stealing certain victory from the girl behind you, who grunted in annoyance.

In the motion, you knocked the helmet off your head.

"Going to play dirty then, Maximoff? Fine." You gasped equally affected at the girl who had paused her attacks. "It's our last year, let's make it count."

Wanda removed her helmet as well, her sword still raised for any attempted attacks. "I'm listening, Danvers." She returns between teeth, and you have to smile.

"I invoke a military challenge." You announce then, surprising her for only half a second. "No masks, no tips." You continue, the audience getting excited. "First one to draw blood wins. I might give you a nice scar to remind you who defeated you."

Some Skrulls laugh, but Wanda is not intimidated. She throws her helmet away and raises her chin in your direction.

"What about our deal?"

You swallow dryly, but try to disguise it. "Still standing."

A glimmer of a smile forms on Wanda's lips, and she has the nobility to wait for you to nod before attacking next time.

It's suddenly much harder to fight Wanda. You blame these stupid feelings on your chest because once you realize that if you hit her, you're going to hurt her, you just can't do it.

Wanda doesn't seem to have much of a problem with that, because she attacks you with fervor. You think you might lose, because of the way she starts cornering you, and no chance for you to do another flip, so you despair. If you lose, you'll have to confess why you were crying, and that's unacceptable.

She throws a low, clean hit, but you jump. Before Wanda can get ready for the next one, you grab her waist and pull her to you.

The protest about the rules is muffled in your ears as your lips crash against hers. Wanda gasps, closing her eyes and dropping her sword to the ground at the same second the entire audience goes completely silent, shocked.

It's good, no, it's incredible. As breathtakingly overwhelming as you imagined kissing Wanda Maximoff would feel. She gasps against your lips, pressing back, and your chest screams.

The audience vibrates and you wake up, realizing what you had just done.

You let go of Wanda with a long step away from her, who opens her eyes at the same moment, her breathing now affected for a completely different reason. She looks at you dumbfounded.

"W-what are you-" She tries as she steps forward, her hand raised towards your wrist, but you flinch. You raise your sword, and with one clean strike, hit her palm.

The cut is small, but it makes her grunt in pain and surprise. You feel like you might start crying again, but you declare in a hoarse voice:

"I won."

Wanda's eyes fill with tears, but you assume they are tears of rage by the way she begins to shout angrily in the teacher's direction, saying that you had cheated while trying to be heard as the audience begins to shout your name and spread out in celebration.

Duquesne is equally in shock and mutters that technically there isn't a rule about kissing your opponent.

They lift you into the air, with the trophy, but when you capture Wanda's head-down posture and the completely hurt look she gives you before turning away, you don't feel like you've won anything.

–//–

With an injury, Wanda was out of all the upcoming competitions, which were sure to count in the Skrulls' favor.

Your school couldn't be happier, and you couldn't be more miserable.

Wanda was walking around the camp with her hand bandaged and you just wanted to get away from the people who kept congratulating you on the duel.

There was also the matter of the angry stares from the other Avengers, especially your opponent's twin, which only made you feel like the worst person in the world.

When night came, and a few groups decided to set up card tables from poker to blackjack, you slipped outside to breathe properly.

The universe was surely testing you when you met Wanda across the door, and to add to your misfortune, she wasn't alone.

Some stupid guy was cornering her against the wall of one of the booths - clearly flirting by whispering things in her ear that made her giggle shyly.

With your jaw locked, you approached them in hard steps.

"Hey, Maximoff, I want to talk to you." You announced impatiently, feeling your chest burn with the scene in front of you.

She flinched at your sudden arrival, but the boy let out a short laugh.

"We're already in a conversation, cheater." He sneered, his hand on the wall coming down to Wanda's shoulders. "Why don't you go back to your cabin?"

"Listen here asshole-"

But Wanda sighed impatiently, pulling the boy's arm off her with a shove. "Fuck off you two, my day was bad enough to deal with this now."

She stormed off annoyed without caring, and you huffed impatiently. When the boy made mention of following her, you stepped in front of him, receiving a wry laugh.

"Back off, Danvers." He warned. "You may be a girl, but if you piss me off I'll break your face."

The kick to the ball made him bend his knees, grunting in pain. You didn't let him fall, holding him by the shoulders to mock against his ear:

"It's more the other way, don't you think?" He couldn't answer, still shaking from the blow. You pushed him away, and he fell to the ground, holding his front. "Stay away from her, she's mine."

Despite the pain, he gasped in confusion, "I thought you two hated each other, you maniac!"

Without bothering to respond, you headed off in the direction the girl had left.

Wanda was clearly not in the mood for conversation, but you had to chuckle as you realized where she was going - or practically running at hard paces.

The fencing hall was empty of course. Even the Professor had joined the rest of the staff for the day's celebrations, and so you followed Wanda without any concern.

"I don't want to talk to you, Danvers." She warned between teeth still on her back, hearing your breaths panting from the rush of having to catch up with her. You chuckle humourlessly, closing the door behind you.

"But you got time for some idiot to flirt with you?" your retort came out so bitter - so jealous - that Wanda turned her face to you with a frown in complete confusion.

"How is that your problem?" She demanded but you shrugged relaxedly. The lack of an answer only irritated her more. "I've had enough of you for today don't you think? Leave me alone."

You snickered taking a step forward that made her lock her jaw.

"Come on, what's this?" You teased. "One defeat and you get tired of all? Don't you even want to try a rematch?"

It was Wanda's turn to chuckle, the tension growing between the two of you with every second.

"So you can cheat again? Hard pass."

You smiled, raising your hands in the air as a sign of surrender.

"I don't need to cheat, Maximoff." You retorted. "Everyone, including you and I, knows I'm the best." You declare receiving a snort and a roll of the eyes. But you continue to smile, not losing your confidence. "In fact, I bet I can beat you even without a sword."

Wanda shook her head. "You know what, Danvers? You must have had a few beers, huh?" She deduced, motioning to the sword cabinet and continuing to speak without giving you a chance to deny it. "Any other day, I'd tell you to fuck off and leave me alone. But you were a brat today, that whole scene and whatever manipulation you were trying to pull off with the crying and then the kissing..."

You hesitate, losing your posture completely. "Wanda, I wasn't-"

But she chuckles, interrupting you. "Whatever it is, let's put an end to it." She says seriously, arming herself with one of the swords. "You got what you wanted. Me, out of all competitions because of this stupid injury and your team winning tomorrow. Yep, I admit it. Everyone knows you guys are going to win baseball, it's your school's specialty, and there's no reason to deny it. But let's be honest about today: you cheated. And I want you to acknowledge that I would have won."

You sigh, deciding to put an end to those games with each other, as Wanda wanted. But not in the way she expects.

Shrugging, you gesture with open arms. "I'm really sorry, Wanda." You say in a false tone of regret. "I'm sorry you're such a bad loser."

Wanda grunted in irritation, and in the blink of an eye, spun the sword around - Hitting your open hand and mirroring your bruises. You gasped in pain, taking a step backward.

"What the hell-"

But your shock was short-lived, Wanda moved and you reacted. Without a sword, your only option was to dodge and that was the hardest task.

"Just admit it, Danvers!" Wanda demanded between one blow and another, growing breathless as the movements went on. "I am. Better.Than. You." Each word was punctuated with an attempt to hit you - Not really to hurt but to lean in and mark.

She finally hit you for the second time when she trapped you between one cupboard and another. You protested in irritation at the gentle burning on your thigh.

"You little shit." You cursed low as you dodged her last. Wanda smiled in satisfaction.

Somehow, you managed to get around her after a miscalculated blow that pinned her sword to a cushion. Wanda got busy trying to pull the item out and gave you enough time to jump on her.

Her healthy hand tried to pull the sword out to hit you but you kicked the handle, and the item flew to the ground. Wanda protested breathlessly, trying to struggle away, but you pressed her against the wall of the room by the waist.

Faces flushed from the exertion and proximity, she looked at you with a fury in her eyes that didn't just look like anger.

"Fuck off, Danvers, let me go!" She demanded clearly affected, her fists closed against your shoulders. You weren't thinking straight - Since when did Wanda look so beautiful when she was pissed off? - She tried to throw punches but you grabbed her fists, holding them tightly against you. "You just can't help it, can you? You know you can't beat me and you just keep cheating!"

"Yeah, I can't help it." You pant, letting your gaze fall to her mouth. Her breathing hitches and when you start to lean in, Wanda gasps, stopping struggling.

"Don't." She asks in a whisper, and you stop leaning in the same instant, worried eyes scanning her face. Wanda's fill with tears. "I can't take it... if it's just a game... if you don't mean it."

Your heart races in your chest, threads of hope burning outwards.

You stare into her eyes, trying to read everything she hasn't explained. "You... You want me to mean it?"

Wanda sighs incredulously, tired.

"I've been waiting for you to notice me for three years, Danvers."

"W-what?"

Wanda looks away, despite her rosy cheeks like your own, she looks sad.

"I'm just tired of all this cat and mouse between us." She continues. "Trying to capture your attention for the few days we have together each year. You've never seen me that way, and I just don't have it in me to keep trying to get you to notice me." She declares with a sigh. "Let me go, okay? It's our last year, you'll never see me again after this spring, it doesn't have to be weird on our last days. We can do a truce, and be mature about-"

Instead of letting her finish her completely meaningless monologue for feelings that Wanda has no idea are much reciprocated, you just kiss her. Though abrupt, your lips are soft on hers. She shudders, first surprised and then affected, ready to reciprocate when you loosen her.

"I notice you, Wanda." You confess in a husky voice and short breath. "Every damn day of this camp, from the first moment I saw you. I noticed you, and I liked you. So much, it infuriated me. All I could think about was you and your face and your jokes and every little smile of victory. I never hated you, Wanda, I just hated how much I cared about you."

She gasps softly, trying to believe the confessions. "B-but you never said anything..."

"Neither did you." You retort with a small smile. "We just competed. Yelling at each other, trying to... just put it out, never saying the right words. Well, I'll do the honors, I guess. Wanda, I like you. I'm in love with you. The whole puppy love, to the moon and back, lovey-dovey, carry a torch for-"

Wanda interrupts your sweet teasing with a soft, emotional giggle. "Shut up, you idiot." She says, pulling you by the collar of the blouse to kiss you again. Slower than the other time, bringing delicious shivers to your entire body. She breaks away only to say she feels the same way.

Then you just kiss her again, just to make sure. It's easy to get addicted to the feeling of her lips on yours until her tongue slides over and starts to get too hot all around. The sound of lips slapping together mingles with affected gasps until the pace picks up and all the accumulated lust from so long of rivalry burns between you.

Wanda grows impatient - Her mouth firmly pressed to yours distracts you from where her hands are moving. You grunt affected as she scratches under your shirt, your back, and your torso, trying to pull you over her.

You press your hips together to keep her against the wall pulling out an affected whimper that makes you shiver - But surrendered to the urge, you forget about recent events and press your open palm to the wall for support. The pain is immediate and makes you break the kiss with a yelp.

Wanda opens her eyes worriedly, trying to push all the arousal away. "What's wrong?" She asks, but you're already bringing your bruised hand to chest height.

"I forgot about it." You mumble, trying to squeeze your hand to make the pain go away. Wanda bites back a smile.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?" she teases, getting a short laugh out of you. Your instinct is to kiss her again at the same intensity as before, but Wanda doesn't let you, breaking the session the next moment. "Easy tiger."

A little breathless and definitely missing kissing her, you ask, "Don't you want it anymore?"

She licks her lips, looking away to try and gain some rationality again. "I don't think you'll be able to do much with a bruised hand, huh?" It's clearly a joke, but you're too turned on to catch it.

"Well, I have another one, and my mouth..." Wanda stares at you in stunned shock, her face burning and her eyes darkening a little. You grunt in shame, hiding your face in her collarbone. "Shit, you didn't mean it."

She giggles awkwardly, wrapping her arms around your waist. "You need a bandage, baby. We'll have time for this later."

You raise your gaze to her again, and Wanda stares at you doubtfully from your expression. "I like it when you call me that."

She smiles, teasing and loving at the same time. "Better than shithead, I suppose."

"They both have their charm, I guess." You joke back managing to make her laugh before stealing a few more kisses.

All the way to the infirmary, all you can think about is how happy you are - And how your friends are going to adjust to the new dynamic.

–//–

Falling into a routine with Wanda was as easy as falling for her.

The familiar teasing didn't end - In a way, it got infinitely better, because, after each little bickering, you and Wanda made up with lots of kisses.

The most absurd thing was your sister's reaction. No surprise at all.

"I mean, everyone saw you two kissing." She retorted unimpressed, continuing to eat her breakfast as if you hadn't spent the previous day preparing the best way to tell. You huffed indignantly, but Wanda sighed, giving you a pat on the back before going to sit down. The same reaction for your friends, who seemed even somewhat reassured that now they wouldn't have to endure the arguing.

As for the rest of the people, well, everyone else had their own lives to take care of to give a damn about what Wanda and you have been up to.

With the baseball game approaching and the end of Spring Break, there was an understanding between you and Wanda that your time together was coming to an end. You didn't want to talk about it - to avoid creating impossible expectations if you considered the distance between California and New York and the hurt of an inevitable goodbye.

For now, you and Wanda were enjoying as much time together as possible, and that included escaping the game to make out before and between breaks.

Wanda giggled affectedly at the tickling your fingers did next to her hips, an attempt to make her relax to what was about to happen between you since the first kisses began. The question hung in the air and the way your breaths were uncompressed and your clothes crumpled.

"They'll start looking for us at some point..." Wanda recalled, the noise of the game resuming in the background, muffled by the closed doors of the empty locker room where you two were hiding. Despite the warning, her hands were entwined behind your neck, and her legs tight around your waist. The cheer skirt pulled up by your hands on her thighs.

You hum in understanding, distracted by the soft skin of her collarbone. You traced a path down to the valley of her covered breasts and Wanda shuddered, moaning in anticipation.

But as soon as your hands reached under her skirt, fingers playing with the fabric of her panties, Wanda tensed anxiously, biting her lips as she sought your gaze.

"Is everything okay?" You asked immediately, stopping your movements and staring back at her. "Do you want me to continue...?"

Wanda let out a broken breath, the look full of anxiety made you frown. You were ready to assure her it was okay if she refused when she replied:

"I want to but... I've never done it before." She confesses in a small whisper, and your heart skips a beat. "And also, I had to talk to my friends about this, and they told me it would be special because we like each other but I just kept thinking that it's going to happen and it will be amazing and when you leave, I'll never be able to do it again without remembering you and I'll be missing you back home..."

"Hey, breathe." You interrupted her anxious babbling with a small chuckle, moving your hands to her face, and squeezing her cheeks for a moment. "God, you're so beautiful." You murmured staring at her adoringly. Wanda blushed, looking away, "Hey, look at me, sweetheart. You want to talk about leaving?"

She swallowed dryly, nodding. "I'm sorry." She mumbles immediately. "I know we kind of agreed not to talk about it, but... fuck, I really like you. If I, you know... have sex with you, I'm just sure I'll fall harder. And I don't know if I want to go through the pain of losing you in a few days."

You swallowed dryly, caressing her cheeks as you absorbed her words. Wanda was even more nervous at your silence.

"Say something, please."

You smiled, staring at her. "I'm sorry, I just... I really am in love with you, Wanda." You confessed tenderly, making her blush. "Sex or no sex, I really am. And saying goodbye to you will hurt."

Wanda nods sadly before hugging you. "Yeah, I know." When she sniffles softly, you kiss her neck to calm her, until her breathing stabilizes again and Wanda releases you to kiss you gently, once and twice, until it starts to get hot again and she sighs against your lips, her trembling fingers groping your body unhurriedly as if she wants to memorize.

"Baby..." She called softly against your lips, her hands moving up into your blouse and making you shudder. "I want to make love to you." She whispered taking all the air out of your lungs. "Give me something to remember you by."

Despite the nervousness and excitement, you managed to tease as your hands retraced their way under her skirt. "What, the matching scars aren't enough for you, darling?"

Wanda lets out an affected giggle at the proximity to your joke about the healed bruises on your hands, but the sound turns to a deep sigh when her panties slip down her legs. You maintain eye contact with her, pulling the item down until you take it off by her ankles. Wanda bites her lip hard as she sees you on your knees, moving up your way again with kisses on her legs.

Her muscles quiver as you kiss the inside of her thighs, and Wanda inhales a shaky breath, her hands gripping the table she's sitting on tightly.

"Be gentle." She asks as she feels the kisses coming closer to where she is burning. You let out a soft laugh, rising again to kiss her on the mouth. Wanda has no time to be eager for the delay of her relief, because you grab her waist and pull her closer, the friction between your hips making her whimper.

Your tongue slides over hers hungrily, kissing her until she's dizzy with arousal, and instinctively starts forcing her hips against yours - The uncovered intimacy smearing the wetness on the fabric of your leg and making you moan against her.

One of your hands spreads her legs open by her thigh, fingers coming up fast to tease her entrance and make Wanda break the kiss with an affected whimper.

"Y-yes, baby, please, no more teasing." Wanda moans, throwing her hips against your hand. "I'm ready."

You grunt softly, tentatively cupping the folds between your fingers, spreading the wetness over the entire length. "Hmm, I can feel that." You teased softly, pulling your hand away to get a taste. Wanda choked, blushing heavily as she watched you suck your fingers one by one, rolling her eyes in pleasure as you tasted her. The next second, you moved your hand back between her legs, staring her in the eye before sliding a finger inside. She moaned at the intrusion, and you let her get used to it, encouraging her with your free hand on her back, relaxing her with a gentle massage.

"There you go... all the way in." You narrated softly, having to maintain all mental control not to fuck her roughly, feeling your body vibrate with the sensation of Wanda's soft wet walls on your fingerprints. She pulsed against you, her hands gripping your blouse tightly as the repetitive motion made her legs twitch. "God, you're so tight." You grunted, hiding your face in her collarbone and angling your palm to press against her clit as well. Wanda let out a loud yelp, wrapping one of her legs around your waist and increasing your reach.

"M-more, please-I just need-" She tried to formulate, starting to follow your movements with her hips. You shushed her against her neck, kissing your way to her ear.

"Relax, I'll give you what you need, baby." Was your only warning before removing yourself from her, only to sink two fingers inside next time. Wanda gasped at the intrusion, but you swallowed her moan with your own mouth, not moving inside her until she was ready.

Soon, your movements had resumed, and with your mouth glued to hers, you swallowed each breathless moan as Wanda began to tremble in your fingers, squeezing as her orgasm built.

Just as she was panting and restless, the locker room door opened. She raised desperate eyes to you, but you covered her mouth with your free hand and sped up your movements.

Your skin muffled her whimpers, and you bit your lips at the sinful image in front of you.

"Danvers? Maximoff? Are you guys here? The coach is looking for two." it was some of the monitors, probably checking the camp behind whoever was running away from the game. You reached a deep sweet spot inside Wanda and she threw her head back.

The monitor grumbled in frustration and the door closed again - You barely noticed, bringing the girl beneath you to her climax. Wanda spread herself in your hand, her body spasming against you and a long muffled moan against your hand.

Her pupils were so dark they nearly hold any green.

"Fucking gorgeous." You praised as you removed your hand to kiss her, and Wanda corresponded with difficulty, smiling breathlessly as she tried to recover from the intensity of her first orgasm.

As soon as she could properly match it, Wanda dominated the kiss - One hand moving up to the back of your neck, to tug at your hair as she bit your bottom lip, drawing a soft moan from you.

"Please, can we go back to the cabin?" It sounded like a request but felt like an order by the way Wanda dug her nails into your waist. A warning. "I want you to be comfortable when you go down on me."

"God, Wanda, you're such a tease." You grumbled in a mixture of arousal and embarrassment, moving like an obedient puppy as she stood up on shaky legs and guided you by the hand back to the cabins.

Her panties are tucked tightly in your pocket.

–//–

Disgustingly adorable, is how your friends would describe the last few days in the company of you and Wanda, who have apparently unlearned how to function away from each other.

Especially the last day - Without any concern for the rest of the world while in an intense make-out session against the bus that was supposed to take you and Carol back to California.

"Jesus, I'm going to have nightmares." Your sister complained with a grimace to her now official girlfriend - Natasha Romanoff - who was putting away the last bag in the family car that was going to take her home. The redhead laughed, looking at where Carol was staring and knowing she was referring to your hand firmly squeezing Wanda's ass as she giggled between the kisses you two shared.

"Why are they behaving like they're never going to see each other again? It's traumatizing." It wasn't Nat, but Bucky who spoke as he arrived with Sam beside him, who laughed in agreement. Carol made a mischievous face.

"Well, maybe that's my fault? I may have forgotten to mention to my lovely sister that Nat told me that Wanda was going to the same college as her next year."

"Pretty mean, Danvers." Nat commented with a certain pride in her voice. Carol laughed.

"When you share a room with a couple in love, you'll understand." She retorted. The group continued to watch you and Wanda, until you kissed deeply in farewell until she let you on the bus. Carol sighed. "Maybe if she starts whining on the way, I'll consider saying that she and Wanda chose the same college without even knowing it."

The group chuckled, saying goodbye one last time.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #marvel imagines

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demonslayedher · 6 months ago

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Links, why started, and why abandoned:

Rengoku+Akaza Sitcom: It was very silly and rereading it still makes me laugh. I've had passing ideas here and there and have made two separate attempts to continue it, but I haven't captured the same flow. Kyojuro's efforts to get me fired as the lead writer and keep this sitcom canceled have so far panned out.

Low-Key Married AU: When I look at the notes sometimes I am like, "wow, this must be my most popular AU, but it is such a mess and I feel so bad for people trying to follow it." I got as far as The Nezuko Incident, but it was already super long, and rather than being engaging it felt more like it was just trying to give chronology to this AU. ZenNezu Angst (no link): I was in such an indulgent, angsty mood when I wrote it, and I wrote myself into an angsty hole. It was whump with an intended happy ending but by the time I went back to it I was not in as whumpy of a mood and I had forgotten how I was going to build up to the intended happy ending and found it meh. Also, I am embarrassed by how whumpy it is and even considered publishing under a different name.

Raw Sword Production: I want so badly for the fandom to appreciate the intricacies of Japanese sword production, which is why I put it into fiction format in the first place with Teppi being the vehicle through which readers can learn a complicated but fascinating process. I wound up learning a lot more since publishing that, and wanted to fix some details, as well as make it clearer with more illustrations, and add on the full process of smithing (instead of glossing over it in the conclusion and focusing most of the smelting). Got to about the point of polishing (one of the last steps), felt overwhelmed by the amount of illustration it would benefit from to be clear, and lost confidence feeling that even with all that effort, there probably would not be many people who read all the way to the end. Filler Arc w/ Character Beats: I still really like the ideas, have had ideas for how to expand it to a proper flow and make a solid story out of it, it had a very cute start, but I lost steam. I want Ufotable to make it instead and just let me direct. EDIT: So far it doesn't seem this one is going to win the poll, so I reread what 5577 words I had, and gosh dang it, it was cute. So I have posted it.

Again, zero promises of any of these projects getting more attention, even if they win the poll. But knowing what people would enjoy reading might provide more inspiration. EDIT: Guys, if you want "other," ya gotta tell me which one! Also, if you want more than one, feel free to say so too. Again, the point is to see if I can work up the inspiration to finish. If.

#this poll inspired by my efforts to try to sit down and work on original fiction again #only to feel terrified of it #and to have trouble finding the document with my notes on it but instead run into all these unfinished projects #my fics

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a-killer-obsession · 3 months ago

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Wanna say real quick if you're a fanfic writer and you're looking at my page like "ohhh they hit 500 followers so fast and they have a upload schedule and post twice a week, maybe i have to post twice a week to get followers" - Stop

This turned into a whole guide for newbies so more under the cut

Please do not use me as an example! Im disabled and unemployed which means i have time to write two chapters a week, please do not put that sort of pressure on yourself!!! I only let myself have a upload schedule because i keep a small backlog of chapters, meaning i have some buffer if my health is bad or i get writers block, and as yall saw recently i will take a break if i loose that backlog. If i was forcing myself to write two chapters a week on a strict deadline i would absolutely loose my shit and probably burn out very quickly. And to be entirely honest, I haven't seen much difference in follower growth now that I have a schedule versus when I was just posting whenever I remembered to. I really don't think a schedule makes a huge difference, I just like having one because it gives me some sense of routine now that I'm unemployed.

What im trying to say, especially if you're new to posting fanfics, is please dont stress yourself out by thinking you need a strict schedule for anyone to like your fic or follow you. You shouldn't be writing for followers anyway, write for yourself! Write because YOU want to write. And if you fall out of love with that writing, dont feel like you need to force it just to make others happy! When i get burnt out writing Wavelengths, I keep going because *I* want to get to the ending, I've been excited to write it for months. Its another reason i dont start writing new long forms until i have a generic plan of where im going, which is something i highly recommend. Having a chapter you're excited to write really helps when you're trying to find motivation.

While I have you here, let me lay down some general tips for new fanfic writers, especially for those who post on tumblr:

Write because you want to write. Don't ever feel like you need to cater to someone else, that's a sure fire way to get burn out

If you do get burn out: don't worry about it, either it'll pass or it won't. Maybe you'll drop that idea all together and move to something new. Don't sweat it, write what makes you happy. Forcing yourself will only make it worse and it'll show in your writing. Writing fanfics is a hobby, it should be FUN. Sure someone might come across your fic years from now and be sad that it's not complete but they'll probably only be sad for a few days at most and then they'll forget about it. Its not a big deal. Who knows, maybe you'll find inspiration years down the line and make someone's day by randomly updating after years of hiatus. It happens 🤷

Dont worry about how much engagement your fic gets. I know absolutely incredible fics that get barely any engagement, and some frankly hard reads that have a ridiculous amount. Its all just dumb luck really. Again - write because you want to

Don't sweat typos too bad. I recommend finishing your chapter/one shot, giving it a day or so, and THEN come back to proof read. I find doing this gives me fresh eyes and I often find a lot of ways to improve the chapter while I'm fixing typos. If you accidentally leave typos in there, don't worry too much. As long as it makes enough sense for people to understand what you meant, people will still read it. Just look at the first few chapters of Wavelengths for example, they're riddled with typos from swapping from 3rd to 1st person, but people still read them (I'LL FIX THEM SOON I PROMISE LMAO)

Don't worry about being cringe. Cringe is dead, make your characters as self inserty and over powered as you want. CRINGE IS DEAD. If you think its fun to write powers and tropes that you're worried will be cringe, fuck it, write it anyway. As long as YOU have fun writing it. Do you know how many "whoops accidental pregnancy" trope fics I've written? Every single one of my long forms has either had it, or planned to, because I like that trope! I don't care if its cringe, I will continue to get my characters knocked up

Some quick accessibility things:

Please left align your fic! I've seen people posting center and right aligned because it "looks cool". These alignments should be used sparingly! As well as things like italics and different fonts/font sizes/colours! They should be used to highlight small sections only! Otherwise they can make it very difficult for people with reading difficulties to read!

If you're posting on tumblr:

Make sure the majority of your fic uses the default black font. Some people set the whole thing to a different font or the "small" font or a different colour and I literally can't read them, and it makes me so sad! I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue! Its okay to use other fonts for things like headers and descriptions, but for the bulk of your fic use the default! Theres a graphic designer out there somewhere who spent a long time picking the best font for the body text on this website for a reason!

If your fic is longer than a few paragraphs, use the READ MORE function!!! Either cut under a description or the first few paragraphs so people get a preview of your fic. You may think it's silly to hide most of your fic, but if someone, especially on mobile, comes across your fic automatically trimmed on the fyp, and likes your stuff, and they go to your account to see more and have to scroll for a million years just to get past your newest post, they're quickly going to give up trying to read your other stuff. Using the read more function makes it easy for people to browse your blog and check out more of your works!! It also makes it more likely people will reblog for the same reason.

Along the same lines: have a masterlist. This can be as simple as a pinned post where you add a link every time you post something new. This makes it super easy for people to check out more of your work!

If you have a long form/multi chapter I also recommend going to the previous chapter and adding a "next chapter" link when you post the next one. Not 100% needed though, if you have a masterlist that can be enough on its own, people just appreciate having that next chapter link for binge reading. PUT IT AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. I hate when I finish a chapter and have to scroll for a million years to get to the top for the link

Feel absolutely free to use the way I format my fics and masterlist as example, but like I said, it can literally be just as simple as a list of links. I recommend listing the links at bare minimum as the title of the fic, and the pairing people can expect (including if its nsfw is a good idea too)

Speaking of NSFW: if your work isn't suitable for minors please make that clear! Even just a 'minors DNI' at the start of the post is good! If you wanna get fancy there are lots of creators who make lovely 18+/minors dni banners you can use for free, just google it and plenty will come up. If you're not adding a cut before the NSFW content then make sure you mark the post as for mature audiences (idk how you do it on the computer because I'm mostly a mobile user but on mobile you can find it bottom right, the icon with the two people). Not appropriately censoring your posts can result in tumblr restricting and possibly banning your account.

Finally, and this one is oddly specific to people who use google docs, but you can use a copy of this google doc to automatically add all the html to your writing so you can just copy and paste it into tumblr or AO3, instead of having to manually fix all the formatting. Do not just copy and paste AO3 html into tumblr, for some reason it has major issues with italics and will cause you a major headache. Just use the linked doc, its a super time saver, I've been using it for ages now

Okay thanks for reading bye

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yeagerfate · 1 year ago

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camp spiderpine

characters: miguel o’hara, miles morales, hobie brown, gwen stacy

notes: this is a camp au! i love writing these so much. for my AOT followers i promise i will be posting some more stuff soon and hopefully i will get some AOT reqs. as of rn i have one that i am excited to write but i think it might take me a bit as i really wanna take my time with it. sorry i didn’t include pav in this, just wasn’t feeling too inspired with him. might add him later lol. not proofread!

warnings: none!

Being a counselor with Miguel is both fun and exhausting. Your campers have a great bond, which is always lovely to see, but they are so energetic that it is tiring. It’s always fun to do it with Miguel though! He is always super helpful, especially with things like putting on sunscreen. His hands are gentle when he rubs it in, though they seem… hesitant? When he pulls away, his face looks strangely pink, but he says it’s just because of the sun. Strange. Sometimes, Miguel will guard at the lake while some of the kids swim. It’s hard not to check him out. Yet, lately you’ve been a bit… tempted by him. His lips look more enticing than ever, his voice is sweeter to listen to, and he seems more eager to be near you. It doesn’t surprise you when you two share a kiss late one night, outside the cabin on the porch. For each other’s sake, and to avoid the nosy questions from campers, you and Miguel agree to keep it secret. You think some of the campers are noticing with the amused smirks that they give you, and the way Lyla, another counselor, giggles when she sees how close you sit together. It’s all extremely exhilarating and lively, but the summer’s ending soon, and Miguel has to go back home…. which is hours away. Will you two stay in touch?

Miguel’s favorite camper is Miles, but he always denies it. He supervises many different activities for each camp season, but the ones he does the most often are diving, paddle boarding, and baseball. He always forgets to put on bug spray, so every night you see new bug bites all over his body. Sometimes, he accidentally spends too much time in the shower. Gets yelled at for it. Loses his only towel on the first day of camp.

Miles is a nervous camper. It’s his first time at Camp Spiderpine, so it takes him a while to adjust. For his activities, he chooses kayaking, basketball, arts & crafts, and mountain biking. His bunk is right above yours. It’s nice to be bunk mates since Miles is super respectful of your space and your luggage. He shares candy with you, tells you questionable stories from his school, and lets you do messy face painting on him. You’re a bit bummed out after you finish your face painting session on him. Not because you don’t like what you painted, but because you wanted to stay being close to him. His warmth is comforting, and so are the brown hues of his eyes. The next day, when Gwen asks you if you have a camp crush, she laughs when you say Miles. She tells you she’s been waiting for you to realize since the beginning of camp. On the night before the last day, Miles finally gains the courage to kiss you, and it is glorious. It’s messy, extremely nerve-wracking, and not perfect at all, but it’s amazing. Miles promises to stay in touch with you to see where the relationship goes. You’re his first girlfriend, and he wants to make it work.

Miles loses his flashlight early into the camp session, so he trips all the way to the bathrooms in the night. During his first time kayaking, he somehow flipped into the lake, and it took him 5 minutes with your and the instructor’s help to get back in. He laughs it off but is super embarrassed. Has so much trouble getting up so early in the morning that one time he just walked around all day in PJs. Kills all the bugs for everyone who is scared of them.

Hobie’s a veteran camper, and he’s been going since he was 6. He knows where pretty much every cabin and building is at camp. He always ends up helping new people get around. For his activities, he chooses BB-Guns, guitar, paddle boarding, and hiking. The two of you meet when your counselor, Miguel, partners you up with Hobie for the first day of camp. He is required to help you find your way around, and answer any questions you may have. Soon, you learn that you get along great, and become great friends. The two of you partner up together for paddleboarding, but he always falls off. He also gets bit by the fish a lot when the two of you are in the water. Your face feels warm when he helps you get back on when you fall off. His touch is so much more… captivating now? You find yourself wanting more. Now, when he guides you around camp, his hand is rested on the small of your back and his other one lingers near your waist. It’s very alluring. At night, you wonder if maybe it could be more? Are you imagining things? Or is this real?

Hobie plans on becoming a counselor himself when he’s older. Miguel rolls his eyes when he hears about it. All of the campers know him. He’s super popular!Always comes in clutch during ultimate frisbee. His team almost always wins just because of him. Knows all of the camp songs and cheers, but his face is deadpanned when it’s time to sing them.

All the counselors know Gwen as “the quiet one”, but that’s just how she acts around them. Around her friends, Gwen is always laughing and doing weird things like “rating people’s feet”. For her activities, Gwen chooses arts & crafts, creative writing, volleyball, and snorkeling. She is the first to help you find a bed in the cabin you’re both assigned to. The two of you decide to do arts & crafts together, where you make bracelets for your water bottles and tie-dye shirts. One day, during a camp game, you’d taken a horrible fall. You tore a muscle in your leg and could barely walk around. Gwen immediately volunteered to help you to the nurse with your counselor, Miguel. Even though you were in agony, the way Gwen’s supportive words were whispered to you made you feel hot. Suddenly, you began to see her in a different way, especially when she still helped you around camp. Her caring hold was so… comfortable, and wholehearted, and swiftly your heart began to beat faster when she was around. Camp’s ending soon, and you desperately want to tell Gwen how you feel… will you?

She smells like sunscreen and sunshine. Has so many stickers on her water bottle, and half of them are peeling. Dyed her hair pink at camp so her dad wouldn’t know. Miguel was too tired to do anything about it. Her hair takes hours to dry, so her clothes are always sopping wet after she gets out of the lake.

#atsv fluff #atsv x reader #itsv fluff #itsv x reader #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o’hara x reader #miles morales fluff #miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse x reader #into the spiderverse x reader #gwen stacy x reader #gwen stacy fluff #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown fluff

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dbnightingale24 · 2 years ago

Text

Turning A Dream Into Reality

The final installment to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’

Part 1, Part 2

When I tell y’all that my personal life has been INSANE, that’s putting it nicely. I’m so sorry this took so long, but I’m so happy to finally be posting this! I love this chapter so much, and I hope you all enjoy it! Also, for those of you who are still upset with me for the ending of that Lloyd story, I hope this makes up for it.

Thank you to @emerald-evans for this amazing mood board! I love it so much and I love you!

Word Count: 44,888 (listen, you’ll understand why when you read it)

Warnings: SMUT (18+, MINORS DNI), Fluff, Angst, Arguing, Daddy Kink, Family Drama, Swearing, Anxiety, Public Arguing...I’m sure I missed something, but this is truly mainly fluff

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: All of you, all of me

Summary: As everything starts to come to light, in a less than ideal way, you start worry that maybe it’ll be too much for Andy. However, Andy is willing to do whatever it takes to show you that he’s all in.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

“What the fuck, Y/N?! You fucking looked me in the eyes-”

“I know, Jake. I know and I’m sorry,” you apologize for what feels like the millionth time.

You all have been in the kitchen for over an hour and it feels like you’re getting nowhere, but it’s not like you’re surprised. You already knew Jacob wasn’t going to handle it well, but him catching Andy filming you two while fucking? Any hopes of it going at all well went out the window after that.

“So, you’ve just been fucking my dad?!” Jacob exclaims as he finishes his third drink.

“I’m dating him, Jake.”

“Y/N-”

“Jacob, just hear me out-”

“It’s not enough for you to wreck every other family in Newton? You had to fuck with mine too?”

“JACOB!” both Sarah and Andy exclaim.

“No,” you sob, “he’s angry with me so just let him get it out.”

“Babe-” Andy starts.

“Jesus, can you not call her that?!” Jacob interrupts. “Can you not confirm that you two are an actual fucking couple?!”

Can the floor of your loft just swallow you whole?

“Is this why you were pushing so hard for my parents to breakup? So you could sink your claws into my dad?”

“You know that’s not it! Even before I came along, it wasn’t-”

“How long has this been going on? How long have you been sleeping with him?!”

“Jacob-”

“How long?!”

“ Dating him? Almost two years. In love with him? Three.”

“Goddammit, Y/N!”

“Jacob, please just calm down and-”

“How fucking stupid was I to trust you? To believe that you had my best interest at heart?”

“We were going to tell you! That’s what tonight was supposed to be about, but we got carried away and lost track of time...we tried, Jacob. We tried so hard to fight it and just walk away but-”

“You didn’t fucking try hard enough!”

“Jacob, please just sit down and hear me out-”

“Just fucking save it. Save your bullshit and go fuck yourself.”

“Jacob!” Andy snaps.

“Fuck you too,” he bites back towards Andy before turning his attention to Sarah, “I’m fucking leaving.”

And with that, he’s out the door.

“He’ll get over it,” Sarah promises both you and Andy before rushing after him.

Your tears start falling the second the door closes.

“It’s going to be ok, sweetheart. He just needs time,” Andy tries to reassure you as he wraps his arms around you.

“He hates me so much!”

“No, he’s just upset. He’s hurt and he feels betrayed, and he has a right to that. We lied to him and right now, it doesn’t matter that we did it for a good reason, it only matters that we lied. He won’t be mad forever and he will calm down and talk to us.”

“How are you so calm about this?!”

“Because I know my son. He loves you and when Jacob loves someone, he never stays mad at them. It might take him a while, but he comes around,” he sighs.

“I wanna go home.”

“Lets go, sweetheart,” Andy mumbles into your hair before kissing it.

In the weeks that follow, you’re basically useless. Besides going to work, you don’t do much of anything. You finally clear out your loft since there’s no reason for you to keep it anymore, you attempt to decorate the house but you just end up crying every time, and if you don’t have to, you don’t leave the bed. Sarah tries to talk to you, but all you can find yourself responding with one word answers, if you bother to respond at all.

Andy doesn’t complain at all. On the days when you’re too depressed to shower he bathes you himself, when you’re not in the mood to eat he only asks you to eat half a sandwich and drink water, and when you don’t get out of bed he stays right beside you.

If anything, it makes you feel worse because you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. You want to be there for him, but you can barely get the hell out of bed for work.

But you need to be there for him. You love him and you want to be there for him the way he’s always been there for you.

“I’m going to the grocery store, sweetheart. Do you want anything?” Andy asks as he walks into the bedroom.

“I’ll go with you,” you respond softly from under the covers, popping your head out just a little.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to-”

“I have to stop. I can’t keep moping around and waiting for him to call me. We have our own life to lead and...I have to get back to living. Let me shower and we’ll go, okay?” you smile weakly.

Andy walks over and kisses you softly on the forehead, “take as much time as you need, honey.”

While in the shower, you realize that this is going to be the first time you and Andy are going out in public as an official couple.

If you weren’t feeling a panic attack coming on before, you definitely are now.

“Are you okay?” Andy asks as you come out of the bathroom.

“I’m fine, I just realized...we’re going out in public together...as a couple.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s our first time,” you humorlessly chuckle as you throw your towel onto the bed and start to get dressed.

“Honey, if you’ve changed your mind-”

“I haven’t. I still...I want to go, it’s just a big realization, ya know?”

“Please don’t push yourself if you’re not ready.”

“Andy, I’m not ashamed of you or our relationship. I-”

“I know, sweetheart-”

“Just...just hear me out,” you breathe as you pull on your Pearl Jam shirt. “I love you so fucking much and sometimes, I really don’t think you realize just how much that is. I don’t want people to think less of you because you’re with me. I know you say you don’t care, but I do. I don’t want this relationship to be a secret anymore, I’m just...I don’t want us to go out and you hear everything they say, see the stares, and decide that it’s too much. Between Jacob and them...I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Y/N, I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I know it’s all just words to you, because a lot of people have said a lot of things to you and then have turned around and hurt you, so I know I have to show it. I have no problem doing that and I’ll wait as long as I need to. Fuck this entire town, fuck Laurie, and fuck everyone who has ever made you feel less than or undeserving. I’m not ashamed of you and I’m not ashamed of our love.”

You make your way over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, “I love you so much.”

He picks you up and kisses you deeply, and you wrap your legs around him. “I love you too, Y/N. I always will,” he breathes once you two break apart.

“I believe you, Andy...when you say the things you do...I believe you. It’s not just words to me...I’m still just getting used to all of this. I half expected you to leave after everything with Jacob, but you’ve been so fucking patient and loving. You’ve been amazing and I’ve been-”

“You’re processing, and that’s okay,” he quickly defends.

“You’ve needed me and-”

“You being here is more than enough. Your kisses, you holding me, you staying by my side...it’s more than enough.”

“You truly believe this is gonna work?”

“I know it will.”

He kisses you again and this time, you’re the one that deepens it as run your hands through his hair. He walks back a little and soon enough, he’s sitting on the bed and you’re grinding yourself against him.

“Sweetheart,” he breathes before he starts to trail kisses down your neck; his hands slowly make their way down to your ass and he grips it tight.

“Fuck!”

“I’ve missed you. Missed making you feel good.”

“Andy...Andy, we have to go,” you giggle.

“We can go later.”

“When we get back, I promise. I miss you too.”

“God, what the fuck am I gonna do with you?” he husks as he looks up at you.

“Love me,” you smile down at him.

You pick a random pair of shorts and pull on your low top Converse, before grabbing your phone and wallet. You look yourself over in the mirror and take a deep breath.

It won’t be so scary after you get the first time out of the way.

You give Andy a small smile as you make your way over to him and take his hand.

You can do this.

The entire ride (which really isn’t that long), you’re bouncing your leg nervously while holding his hand. You don’t mean to let your nerves get the best of you, but it’s not like you can exactly stop it. You’re not lying when you tell Andy you’re all in, but it just really fucking sucks when your life has been full of letdowns and disappointments. You feel terrible that there’s so much weight on Andy’s shoulders, but you truly are trying your best.

“I take it you didn’t make a list.”

“When do I ever make a list?” Andy smirks as he grabs a cart.

“That’s what I thought,” you laugh as you two make your way inside. “I feel like cooking tonight, so we can just split the bill-”

“No, I’ll cover it,” he counters as you two make your way down the produce isle.

“Andy-”

“We already split the bills, let me take care of the groceries this time, and you can cover it next time.”

“You are...annoying,” you grumble, grabbing a head of broccoli as he laughs.

“We could just open a Savings account together.”

“You trust me so much so fast?”

“It only took us forever to get here,” he shrugs, “we may as well just do what couples do.”

“Bite your tongue, Barber,” you giggle as you grab a plastic bag, “we need apples.”

“Please get green apples.”

“They’re too tart!”

“They taste better!”

“Andy, at your age-”

“Watch it.”

“Oh, you’re gonna get touchy about the age difference now?”

“You don’t have to bring it up while we’re grocery shopping.”

“That’s especially when I need to bring it up. Also, we need to get you vitamins. You’re running out.”

“Haven’t you been in bed depressed?”

“I’ve been snooping,” you smirks and and he bursts out laughing. “I have a feeling this little trip is about to get expensive.”

“Probably...shit,” Andy mutters as he looks ahead.

You follow his gaze and anxiety starts up all over again, “fuck. We are so bad at this.”

Laurie.

“Are you fucking serious?!” she exclaims, gaining more than a few looks. “Nothing’s going on?! Isn’t that what you told me?! You weren’t in love with her?!”

“Laurie, this isn’t time or the place,” Andy mutters, taking your hand in his.

“You’re a fucking piece of shit, Andy! Do you fucking...Jesus! You told me-”

“Back off,” you warn quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“Leave him alone, Laurie. He didn’t do this, you did. You cheated, you lied...you don’t get to attack him in the middle of the fucking grocery store because you’re mad that you fucked up.”

“You little bitch!”

“Back off, Laurie. I fucking mean it, this is your last warning.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a fucking promise. Jacob’s told you enough stories so you know that I’m not fucking joking. I may be older now, but I still know how to throw a right hook.”

“This is what you left me for? A fucking violent whore?!” she scoffs in disbelief at Andy.

“We’ll talk about this another fucking time,” he all but growls before starting to push the cart and you both start walking off.

You feel her glare on you as you reach the end of the isle, and you turn around and cock your eyebrow.

If she really wants an all out brawl, you’re more than ready for it. In the end, all she does is flip you off before disappearing around the corner.

“Well that was fucking fun,” Andy mutters, “ what else do you need you from this isle?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I can handle her and her wrath. I’ll go see her on Saturday and we’ll...we’ll talk it out. Jacob doesn’t need anymore shit to deal with.”

“Have you spoken to him recently?”

“Sort of. He asked me to come by for his birthday, so I guess that’s something.”

“That’s good!”

“I asked if it was okay that I bring you and he said he’s not sure.”

“No, don’t worry about me. I told you, his relationship with you is more important than my relationship with-”

“No, you’re apart of my life and that isn’t gonna change. He has to accept you at some point. He has to accept that we’re together.”

“Andy-”

“We are one,” he says sincerely as he stops and looks at you. “I love you and I’m with you.”

“Lets finish up, huh?” you smile as your eyes start to water.

He dips down and cups your face before kissing you deeply in front of everyone. “I love you, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will always and forever love you.”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” you smile back with a small giggle.

Well, it’s out in the open for sure now.

As you two finish up shopping, both of you notice how much people are staring at the both of you. Andy senses your anxiety getting worse and he takes your hand in his.

“They don’t matter,” he tells you softly.

“The first time is always the hardest, right?”

“That would explain why the first time I filmed us, Jacob ruined it by bursting in, unannounced,” he mutters and you can’t stop the full bodied laugh that leaves your mouth.

You’re laughing so hard that your sides hurt, but you don’t care because it feels good. You spent so long moping, wallowing, and crying, and it just feels so damn good to smile. It feels so damn good to be happy, to feel joy instead of pain, it feels good to feel safe with the person you’re with, and it feels good to not have to hide.

It feels so damn to good to truly be in love.

“I hate you so much for making me laugh at such a shitty joke,” you breathe once you finally calm down, wiping your eyes as you finally turn your attention to Andy who is just looking at you with the softest smile. “What?”

“Lets finish this up and get home,” he chuckles, walking down the isle, quickly grabbing a bag of kettle chips.

“What?” you laugh as you follow behind him.

“I just love you so damn much.”

“Andy-”

“Lets get home,” he smiles at you.

You two make your way to the checkout isle, and while Andy pays for all of it, you can’t help but wonder if this is hows hes always been. Always so loving, open, honest, and genuine.

Always so loyal.

“Alright, I’ll get started on making dinner and-”

You’re cut off by Andy backing you into the kitchen and kissing you hard, hoisting you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around him.

“Andy...oh God, Andy! Stop, stop, stop! We have food that needs to go into the freezer! We finally your favorite ice cream!” you moan as he starts to bite and suck on your neck.

“Let it melt, I can go back and get more,” he growls as he starts towards the stairs.

“Andy!”

“Missed you so much, sweetheart. Hated not being able to satisfy you. Not getting lost in your love,” he husks, laying you down on the bed before taking his shirt off. “I just wanna get lost in you for a while,” he breathes as he starts to undo your shorts.

“You can do anything you want to me,” you whimper, biting your lip as he pulls off your shorts and gets on his knees.

His response is pulling your panties to the side and licking your soaked folds. He barely gives you a chance to prepare yourself before sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt.

“Fuck,” you sigh, arching your back and lulling your head back, gripping the sheets with one and his hair with the other.

“Look at you, so fucking beautiful,” he moans as he adds another finger.

“Missed... you so much, baby!”

“Yeah? You want me to pull you apart, sweetheart?”

“P-please, baby! I need it so much!”

As Andy’s head disappears between your legs and you feel his lips pulling on and massaging your clit, you close your eyes and find comfort in the fact that this is your life now.

Andy loves you as you are and for who you are. There’s no more hiding, no more guilt, and no more shame. It’s real and it’s forever.

“Jesus, Andy!” you mewl as you come apart for him.

“Been so long...needed to taste you.”

“Baby, please! I need to feel you!”

“Take your fucking shirt and bra off,” he demands as he gets up and takes his own shirt off, “I wanna fucking see all of you.”

You’re quick to take off your remaining clothes as he rips off your panties and for once, instead of feeling anxious or insecure, you only feel love and happiness as he looks you over.

“You’re mine, Y/N,” he declares as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“Mine and mine alone, I’m gonna love you forever,” he groans as he starts to move within you.

“Then show me, baby. Show me just how much I belong to you.”

You and Andy spend the next few hours getting lost in each other, ignoring your phones and the outside world. It doesn’t matter that Laurie knows and it doesn’t matter that Jacob hates you. All that matters is that you two have and are committed to each other.

It only matters that you two are insanely in love with one another.

“Fucking give it to me, sweet girl,” Andy moans as he fucks into you another orgasm.

“Too much!”

“I know you can take it, baby! I know you can give me one more...ahh shit!”

“ANDY!” you scream as you hit your climax, making a mess all his cock and the bed.

“Fuck, Y/N!” he groans as he spills his release inside of you.

As he rides out both your highs, you wrap your arms around him and press soft kisses onto his arm, running your fingers through hair, just relish the feel of him his love. When he finally comes down from his high, he softly collapses on you, resting his head on your chest and sighing in content.

This is heaven.

“I think we should adopt a dog,” you say after a moment, still running your fingers through his hair.

“What?” he laughs incredulously, looking up at you.

“Lets adopt a dog,” you repeat, looking down at him.

“You wanna get a dog?”

“Why not? You said you wanna have kids-”

“We don’t have if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Atticus, I just feel like it’ll be good practice, for me anyway. You’ve already had a child.”

“Why do you think you need practice? You’ve been taking care of Jacob since you were 15.”

“That’s different,” you laugh. “I don’t know, it’s not like I had the best role models, and I’m scared to fuck it up. I figure that a dog is basically a child, and if I don’t fucking kill it, maybe I won’t be so bad at it.”

“I think you’ll make a terrific mom, but we can adopt a dog if you want,” he chuckles before kissing your shoulder, before propping himself up. “We can go to the shelter on Saturday, after I get back from my talk with Laurie.”

“Sounds good, where are you going?”

“To put the groceries away,” he laughs.

“I’ll go down with you,” you sigh as you sit up.

“You can stay up here, I know how to put groceries away,” he scoffs as he pulls on his boxer briefs.

“That’s debatable,” you smirk as you pull on his ‘Alice In Chains’ shirt, “but I’m not going to monitor you, I have a home to decorate.”

“Yes you do,” he smiles before dipping down and kissing you.

As Andy stands in the kitchen, putting things away, and you put up pictures of you two, a feeling happiness washes over you like you’ve never felt before, and everything feels as it should.

For the next few days everything is perfect, and you feel like you’re living someone else’s life. You and Andy quickly fall into a routine of getting up and showering together, you make the both of you lunch while he makes you both coffee, and you kiss each other before leaving for work.

You text each other throughout the day and since you’re usually home first, you get started with dinner, Andy comes home and greets you with a kiss before setting up shop in the kitchen and getting started on work. During dinner, you two talk about your days and try to come up with a plan for the weekend, mainly trying to figure out a time to go to the shelter. When you’re both all done, Andy cleans up while you go upstairs and take a shower which he always ends up joining you in. The nights usually end with sex, a movie, or both, and fall asleep holding each other tight.

It’s so domestic, simple, loving, care free and every thing you’ve ever wanted. It’s picture perfect and you slowly start to believe that maybe life can get better than it has been.

Too bad reality always fucking finds you.

“Just friends with the Barber family?” your boss, Mr. Hathaway, smirks.

“Excuse me?”

“My girlfriend saw that little exchange between you, Laurie, and Andy Barber at the grocery store on Monday. Didn’t wanna cheat on your boyfriend, huh?”

“That’s extremely unprofessional and I’d really rather not talk about it. Especially with you. Why do you even keep hitting on me if you’re in a relationship?”

“I like to play around, no big deal,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, “no need to get upset, I just didn’t know you had it in you to steal someone else’s husband,” he scoffs before making his way back to his office.

You feel your blood boil and want to text Andy, but you know he’ll show up and punch him in the face. Things are going so well, so you just swallow it down and do your best to work to the best of your ability.

You do your best to focus, but all you want to do is cry. It’s not like you didn’t know you would have to deal with shit like this, but at your fucking job? It can’t be that big of a deal though? Yeah, Andy’s a hot shot lawyer, but not that many can really give a shit about his relationship status...can they?

The second you reach your car, you burst into tears. You don’t want to be so hurt and upset, and you know you shouldn’t be, but it feels like a repeat of what happened between you and Mr. Matthews. You aren’t even the reason Andy originally wanted a divorce, it was Laurie. However, you know there’s no use in pleading your case or saying anything to anyone, because you have a reputation and so does Laurie.

Hers will win over yours every time.

By the time you get home, you just want to hide under the covers and disappear, but you don’t want to worry Andy. So, you change into one of his t-shirts as always and get started on dinner like nothing’s wrong.

“I’m home, sweetheart,” Andy calls as he enters the home you two share, and you quickly wipe your eyes. “Whatever you’re making smells amazing and I need it after...hey, what’s wrong?” he questions, instantly dropping his briefcase and quickly making his way over to you.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” you lie all too quickly as you give the best smile you can muster.

“Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying, it’s just not a big deal. I’m overreacting.”

“You don’t cry over just anything.”

“Andy-”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Just some shit I had to deal with at work. People apparently have heard about the grocery store incident that happened, and it’s automatically my fault. I stole you from Laurie.”

It’s not like you’re lying.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

“Andy, it’s fine. It’s really not a big deal.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong-”

“And we know that, so that’s all that matters. We knew that people were gonna talk, it just caught me off guard. We’ve been having such an amazing week and I wasn’t ready for it.”

“Honey, are you okay?”

“I will be. Honestly, it just caught me off guard and it fucked up my day. I’m alright.”

“You can tell me the truth-”

“Baby, I am. It’s nothing for either of us to get worked up about. Now, tell me about your day.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I wanna hear about your day, Andy. Please.”

Andy sighs in defeat and finally starts to let it go. “I’ve got another murder.”

“Well fuck!”

“I don’t know, I think I’m just gonna quit soon. It’s been nothing but murder cases and abuse lately, and I think I’ve reached my limit.”

“I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I won’t be making as much money and-”

“Andy, I don’t care about the money,” you scoff, putting the spatula down and looking at him. “I didn’t fall in love with you because of how much money you make. I fell in love with you because of you. Who you are.”

“I know but-”

“But nothing. You can collect trash for a living and I wouldn’t give a shit. I just want to be with you. We’ll figure it out together, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Even if I’m a teacher?”

“You can sign me up for one of your classes any time you want,” you smile at him.

“I love you so fucking much,” he chuckles before kissing you.

As he makes his way upstairs, you do your best to let go of your pain, frustration, and anxiety and carry on with the night, but it just won’t go away. You can tell that Andy knows that something is off as he makes his way back downstairs, but he doesn’t press because he knows better, and he tries to play along, but when you basically attack him while you two are watching ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’, he knows something off.

“Sweetheart...wait...what’s...what’s wrong?” he asks as he forces you two apart.

“I just want you, daddy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him, going to kiss him again, but he turns away. “Andy-”

“What happened at work?”

“I already told you-”

“Who was the one who said it?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re not acting like you. You’re not here with me.”

“It’s not like it matters.”

“That’s not fair. You know I don’t only want sex from you. I never have.”

“That’s not what I mean...you’re right, that wasn’t fair and I’m sorry.”

“Honey, what’s going on with you?”

“It’s just...this is how we end our nights and-”

“Listen, I don’t care how we end our nights as long as I end them with you. I love you. Every part and everything about you. Not just sex. I’ll admit that I am a little more eager with you, because it’s never been this good for me, even with Laurie when we were younger. I could never be this open or experimental, but it’s not what keeps me around. I love you, Y/N. I love you for who you are, not for what you have to offer physically.”

“Andy...” you trail off as you start to cry.

God, what the fuck is wrong with you?

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“This is all I’m good for! This is all I’ll ever been seen for-”

“By them! Not by me! You should know better-”

“I’m just so fucking scared, Andy. I’m not worthy of you and-”

“If anything, I’m not worthy of you! I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I love you.”

“It’s already going around at my job, so it’s only matter of time before it gets around at your job and-”

“So what? Y/N, so fucking what? Who gives a shit? I don’t! My love for you isn’t changing. I know you! I know you inside and out and I know how sincere and genuine you are. I don’t care what anyone else has to say.”

“Andy-”

“Please hear me, Y/N. This is real and it’s never changing. I want you, I need you, and I love you. I will always choose you. Your parents aren’t going to scare me away, I don’t care how Jacob feels about us, I don’t care what anyone has to say about us, I just care about you, how you feel, and how I feel about you. I just care about us.”

“You say that now but-”

“It’s not changing, sweetheart. I just want you and I just need you,” he promises as you sob with a sniffle. “Please just tell me what happened at work.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does when it makes you feel like this.”

“I never feel like I’m worthy of you.”

“We’re gonna have to work on that,” he sighs, turning off the TV before wrapping his arms around you and standing up.

“What are you doing?” you ask as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“We’re going to bed because you need rest.”

“No, I’m fine. I just-”

“We’re gonna rest, honey. Don’t try and stop me.”

“I got you all worked up.”

“This isn’t the first boner I’ve gotten that’s gonna have to go away by itself,” he laughs as he carries you up the steps.

“Andy-”

“Just rest. Rest and we’ll talk about all of this more on our way to adopt a dog.”

“Andy-”

“I mean it. We’ll figure all of it out, we just need to rest for now,” he reassures you as he lays you down on the bed before getting into next to you.

“I’m so sorry,” you sob as you turn to face him.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You had a rough day and are understandably upset. Please just rest,” he begs gently as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close.

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he reassures you before kissing your forehead.

As you try to calm down enough to go to sleep, you find yourself finding comfort and peace in Andy’s arms. Finally starting to believe that he’s in it for the long haul, and just maybe, having to endure hell won’t be so bad after all.

When you wake up, your head is on Andy’s bare chest and he’s leaning against the headboard, reading the paper.

God, you love your life.

“Hi,” you mumble softly.

Andy looks down at you and smiles before kissing your forehead, “good morning.”

“What time are going to see Laurie?”

“In an hour. I figure I’ll get it out of the way and then we’ll have the rest of the day to ourselves.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“You stay here. I can only keep my cool if she isn’t hurling insults at you,” he mutters, finally putting his newspaper down.

“Andy, about last night-”

“Don’t apologize again. I told you that I’ll be patient and will spend the rest of my life just how much I love you. Yesterday was rough and I understand. It’s hard to not get upset when you have to constantly deal with that shit.”

“Yeah, but what I said was...that mean and a low blow. I know that you don’t want just sex from me, it’s just...I’m still learning, Andy. I’m still learning how to be loved. Truly loved. It feels so good but it’s terrifying at the same time, because I’m still so afraid. I’ve never felt anything like this...I’ve never had anything like this before and I’m just so afraid that it could go away at any moment. I get scared of losing you, because you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine,” you sniffle, hoping you don’t sound like a complete idiot to him.

Andy dips down and kisses you passionately and you run your hands through his hair.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine too, sweetheart,” he breathes once you two break apart. “I know that we’re gonna have setbacks, arguments, and there will be days when you just need reassurance. I’m fine with that. I’m never going to stop wanting you. Wanting us. I’ll never stop loving you,” he promises with a soft and sincere smile.

“Wanna shower together?”

“I’d love to.”

The entire shower, Andy won’t stop kissing you and you can’t stop giggling. It’s not sexual or lustful, instead it’s just sweet and innocent, and you wish it could always be like this. You wish it could always be just you and him and that you could always feel this safe.

However, you’re not a child and you know that’s not how the real world works.

“I’ll text you when I leave so you can get ready,” Andy tells you as you two make your way downstairs. “Do you know which shelter you wanna go to?”

“The Boston Animal Care and Adoption Center.”

“Sounds good. As soon as I’m done with all of this shit we’ll go, okay?”

“Okay,” you smile before getting on your tiptoes, “kiss please?”

“Needy,” he laughs before giving you a quick kiss on the lips, “I love you.”

“I love you, hurry back,” you pout as he turns to leave.

“Will do,” he calls over his shoulder, “trust me.”

And with that, he gets into his car and drives off.

For the first thirty minutes everything is perfect. You’re laying on the sofa, eating a fruit bowl you made for yourself, watching ‘Singles’, and waiting to hear from Andy. So, of course you’re happy when your phone finally goes off, but your smile soon turns into a scowl as soon as you see who it is.

“Good morning, mother,” you sigh as you pause the movie.

“I raised you better!” she slurs and you roll your eyes.

“Jesus Christ! It’s only 9:30 in the morning and you’re already drunk?”

“I’ve been drinking since last night! Trying to deal with the fact that I have you for a daughter! Forcing myself not to go to your place and-”

“What the hell are you talking about and how do you know where I live?”

“Laurie!”

Anger activated.

“I’m sorry, come again?” you question you feel your cheeks start to burn with rage.

“It’s bad enough that you’re flaunting your relationship with Andy Barber and didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself, but I have to hear about it from other people? How you stole him from her? After everything your Father put us through, you pull this shit?!”

“Who the hell did you hear this from?” you all but growl as you turn off the TV and make your way upstairs, looking for something to wear.

It’s not like you can beat Laurie’s ass in sweats and Andy’s torn up old t-shirt.

But then again, you can.

“From the women at the fucking gym! They were asking me what happened and if I’ve spoken to you since everything happened! Laurie has been telling her friends about how you took her husband and broke up their marriage!”

Fuck it, you are just gonna beat Laurie’s ass in Andy’s t-shirt and your sweatpants.

“That still doesn’t explain how you got my address.”

“She gave it to me!”

“Excuse me?”

“I text her to apologize for the pain and destruction that you caused and she gave me your address, asking me to talk to you and see if I can-”

“She did what?!”

A murder might just happen today.

“What else is she supposed to do, Y/N?! You’re destroying her life! I don’t even know how to tackle this situation, so I gave your address to your Father and told him to handle this situation, since you’ve grown up to be just like him. I’m so fucking disappointed in you, Y/N! Honestly!”

“I have to go,” is all you say before hanging up.

You’re moving before mind can even process anything. You race out of the house and get into your car, and before you know it, you’re at Laurie’s house. You don’t even recall actually driving, you’re just at her house now.

Rage is a hell of a thing.

You quickly get out of the car and race up the steps, checking under the porcelain frog for the spare key, but when you can’t find it you decide that pounding on her door like a mad woman will suffice.

“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, LAURIE!” you roar, pounding on her door like it stole something from you.

When the door opens, you’re met with Jacob’s worried and scared face.

Even better.

“Y/N, what’s-?”

“WHERE IS SHE?!” you scream as you push past him and make your way inside. “GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

“Y/N, please calm down and tell me-”

“THERE YOU FUCKING ARE! YOU FUCKING BITCH!” you yell as you grab the closest thing to you (which lucky for her is a tissue box) and throw it at her.

“Sweetheart, calm down!” Andy yells, standing in front of Laurie just in time to block it. “What happened?!”

“ARE YOU THAT FUCKING STUPID?! YOU DIDN’T THINK I WOULD FUCKING FIND OUT?!” you rage, lunging towards Laurie but Jacob catches you just in time. “FUCKING TELL THEM! TELL THEM WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!”

Laurie stands there, frozen in fear, and says nothing.

“Y/N, just calm down and-” Sarah starts reassuringly but you don’t want to hear it.

You’re done being nice.

“YOU DON’T WANNA TELL THEM?! FINE, I’LL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO! IT SEEMS THAT LAURIE HAS BEEN TELLING ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN THAT I BROKE UP HER FUCKING MARRIAGE! I SUNK MY CLAWS INTO ANDY AND TORE THEM APART! YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I KNOW?! CAUSE MY FUCKING DRUNK AND UNHINGED MOTHER CALLED ME TO TELL ME THAT I’M A FUCKING WHORE JUST LIKE MY FATHER, AND HOW SHE HAD TO HEAR ABOUT ALL THIS SHIT YESTERDAY WHILE SHE WAS AT THE GYM! EVERYONE WAS ASKING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME AND IF SHE’S SPOKEN TO ME, BECAUSE IT JUST HAS TO BE TRUE, RIGHT?! CAUSE I’M THE TOWN FUCKING WHORE?!”

“Jesus Laurie! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Andy shouts as he turns around to face her.

“IT GETS FUCKING BETTER! WHEN MY MOTHER TEXT HER TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY HOME WRECKING BEHAVIOR, SHE GAVE HER OUR ADDRESS SO SHE CAN COME OVER AND TALK TO ME! TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO LEAVE YOU! HOWEVER, SHE’S SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN ME THAT SHE CAN’T HANDLE IT, SO SHE GAVE IT TO MY FATHER SO HE CAN DEAL WITH IT SINCE I’M SO MUCH LIKE HIM!”

“For fucks sake, mom!” Jacob sighs and out of the corner of your eye, you see Sarah balling her fists and fighting the urge to say something.

“BUT I’M NOT THE REAL FUCKING PROBLEM HERE AM I, LAURIE?! YOU ARE!”

“Y/N-” Sarah tries to interrupt.

“YOU ARE! YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE FUCKING PROBLEM! ANDY WAS ASKING FOR A DIVORCE BEFORE WE EVEN DID ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKING CHEATED! YOU HAD A FULL BLOWN FUCKING AFFAIR, TREAT YOUR FUCKING SON LIKE SHIT, AND THEN CHEATED AGAIN! YOU ARE THE ISSUE! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE FUCKING ISSUE AND I’M DONE FUCKING PRETENDING YOU AREN’T! ANDY BEGGED FOR OVER A YEAR FOR A FUCKING DIVORCE AND YOU REFUSED! HE BEGGED FOR MONTHS FOR YOU TO SIGN THE GODDAMN PAPERS, BUT YOU WOULDN’T DO IT! STOP SITTING HERE AND PLAYING VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S FUCKING GUILTY!”

“Wait...what?” Jacob asks, clearly in shock.

“That’s right, bestie!” you smile sarcastically, turning to face him, “she fucking cheated on Andy with his best fucking friend after the trial because she felt wronged! She had a full blown fucking affair and then, because she was afraid that I would steal her fucking husband at 15 years old, she made sure to keep him out of the house when she knew I’d be coming over! Which is why I didn’t fucking meet him until I was in my fucking 20’s!”

“Jesus, Y/N, I’m so fucking-”

“And the first time I fucking met him was when I went to get those fucking beers while we were watching ‘Borat’, and I had the pleasure of overhearing them arguing because she didn’t want her husband being around the town whore!”

“MOM!”

“And you know what fucking sucks the most?” you continue, your eyes brimming with tears of anger as turn your attention back towards her. “I kept your fucking secrets! I was fine with Jacob hating me as long as it meant that he wouldn’t hate you! You went out of your fucking way to not hurt Andy, but hurt me and I’ve done nothing to you! For years I’ve done nothing but respect your wishes, even though it fucking hurt to know you thought so little of me. When I discovered I had feelings for Andy, I did my best to stay as far away from him as possible! I have done nothing to deserve this from you!”

“You broke up my family!” Laurie finally shouts back and you’re ready lunge at her again, completely forgetting that Jacob is still holding you. “Andy’s in love with you, Jacob’s in love-”

“Jesus Christ mom, I know you ruined your own goddamn marriage, but can you not ruin mine before it’s even started?! Leave me out of your fucking shit show!”

“Oh c’mon Jacob! Everyone knows-”

“No one knows shit, because I’m not in love with Y/N! She’s just my best fucking friend! Yes, I had a crush on her for a moment, but that’s over and done with. She didn’t do shit to you! She didn’t turn me against you and she encouraged me to keep trying to have a better relationship with you! You’re a fucking bully! You bully Y/N, dad, and me! Hell, even bully Sarah! What’s in this family isn’t because of Y/N, it’s because of YOU!” he snaps, finally letting you go.

“If she hadn’t-”

“Jesus, Laurie! Just stop!” you yell, angry tears streaming down your face. “YOU are the reason you’re so fucking miserable! You never do anything, everything just happens to you, right?! Fucking grow up and learn how to take some fucking responsibility for your own goddamn actions! You have a wonderful fucking family and you treat them like shit! What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?! Andy is a fucking person! Not some damn toy that you turn on and off when you want fucking attention and to be entertained! He is good, pure, and genuine! He’s the sweetest man in the world and you fucking abused his love! You abused him! Of course he fell out of love with you! He fell out of love with you and fell in love with me, and I fucking fell head over heels for him! I honestly tried to stop and stay away, but it just didn’t fucking happen and I’m sorry that he chose me, but I didn’t fucking do this! I have been feeling guilty for years and for what?! You to pull this shit?! YOU are the reason you’re so fucking miserable, not me! Maybe, if you weren’t such a fucking cunt, you wouldn’t have lost your husband! MAYBE Jacob would wanna be around you more! You’re a fucking piece of shit, Laurie and that’s not my damn fault!” “Do you feel better now?” she sobs. “Are you happy that my fucking family hates me now?!”

“Your family will fucking forgive you because everyone in this room is too good for you! You’re upset that your family is rightfully mad at you? Try having the town and your family thinking the absolute worst of you because of a fucking lie!” you scoff. “From here on out, I never want to fucking see you again. You’re not welcome in our home and unless it’s extremely serious and has something with Andy, Jacob, or Sarah there’s no fucking reason for us to ever speak! I’m done with this shit! Fuck you and go to hell!” you spit before turning and starting to walk out.

“Y/N,” Jacob calls after you as he grabs your wrist, but you just pull away and keep walking.

You need to get out of there before you breaking something.

The second the door closes you hear the yelling match begin and you don’t feel bad at all. You’ve tried for years to do right by Laurie and this is the shit you get in return?

Fuck it all.

You practically speed home, ignoring your phone because you don’t think you’ll be able to talk to anyone without screaming at them. The second you’re home, you run upstairs to the bedroom and hide under the covers. Your phone won’t stop buzzing, so you toss it on the nightstand and just cry into your pillow.

You’re so tired of feeling pain, anger, and frustration. No, you shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that, but what fucking right did Laurie have? Yes, you and Andy started seeing each other before she signed the papers, but it’s not like he wasn’t adamant getting that to happen. You’ve spent years trying to respect Laurie and her wishes, and for what? So she can fucking lie about you to everyone?

And your mother.

Why was it so easy for her to believe everyone else? You know you two have had your fair share of differences lately, but she’s still your fucking mother. How could she not even think to defend you? She knows you well enough to know that you doing something like that is completely out of character.

“Sweetheart?!” Andy calls as he enters the house.

You don’t even have the energy to respond. You just curl into yourself and cry harder. God, for him to see you like that? You’re so fucking embarrassed. You truly didn’t mean to go off like that, but you’ve just had enough of everything. All you want is to be happy with Andy and live a good life.

Why is that so fucking hard?

“Honey, please don’t cry,” Andy begs as he gets in bed with you, getting under the covers and pulling you close.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you sob as you lay your head on his chest.

“Hey no! None of that! She was completely out of line and she had no right! Your fucking mother?! What the fuck?!”

“I ruined everything!”

“You ruined nothing. Get rid of that thought right now.”

“Andy-”

“No, it’s one thing for her to give us shit in person, but she spread a lie about you in public. She made sure to make you look like the villain when you aren’t one at all.”

“You were still married-”

“We both know why I was still married when we started seeing each other. It’s not some big secret that I wanted a divorce. By the time we had sex, you knew that I wasn’t even sleeping in the same room as her.”

“Still, I-”

“Still nothing. Laurie did this and then decided to make you the bad guy. I don’t blame you for going off today.You had every right.”

“It doesn’t help that I trauma dumped all over Jacob.”

“No, you were right to do it, because he needed to know.”

“Not like this!”

“Baby, it was long overdue. He had no reason to ever be angry with you and now he knows that. Just calm down.”

“Andy-”

“Please calm down, honey. Everything is okay and as it should be. Just calm down,” he begs as someone pounds on the front door.

“Y/N! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” your father yells.

“For fucks sake!” you mutter as you wipe your eyes.

“You stay right here. I’ll fucking deal with him,” Andy broods before getting up.

“Andy-”

“You stay here,” he repeats as he walks out.

Great.

Andy races down the step, and even though he left the door open, you can’t make out what they’re saying. You hope and pray that it’ll be over soon, but the moment you hear both of their voices get louder, you know you need to intervene. You take a deep breath before putting your slippers on and making your way downstairs.

Today can go to hell.

“I’ll handle it, babe,” you say softly as you stand behind Andy.

“You’re supposed to be upstairs.”

“I don’t want you arguing with my father. I’ll take care of it.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Baby, I’ve got this.”

Andy sighs before answering you, “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

“Thanks baby,” you smile weakly as he walks away before turning your attention to your father. “What?”

“No, after the shit you pulled-”

“It is amazing how you think you have any right to say anything to me right now! After all of the shit you’ve pulled-”

“You’re not me!”

“Exactly! I’m not a piece of shit like you, so you should know better than to believe that bullshit!”

��He’s too old for you!”

“Your wife is too young for you!”

“Y/N-”

“No, this fucking conversation is over! You don’t get to come to our house, disrespect my boyfriend, and try and tell us what to do! I am madly and deeply in love with Andrew Barber and that’s not gonna change! We’re not breaking up so everyone can fucking get over it!”

“Y/N-”

“That is the end of this discussion now leave before I call the fucking cops!”

“Y/N-”

“I swear to God I’ll fucking do it! Do not test me!” you warn, crossing your arms across your chest.

He opens his mouth to say something, but just ends up sighing in defeat and just turns around and walks away instead. You wait until you seem him pull off to turn around and go back inside, slamming the door shut and locking it behind you.

You’re done with everyone for the day.

“Sweetheart, are you-”

Andy’s cut off by you pulling him close and kissing you with an insane amount of passion. You’re done talking, you don’t feel like crying, and you don’t wanna drink.

You just want Andy.

Thankfully, Andy picks up on this and picks you and carries you upstairs to the bedroom. He sets you down once he’s at the foot of the bed and you make quick work of getting his shirt off, before getting on your knees and undoing the button and zipper on his jeans and pulling them down along with his boxer briefs, before pulling his shoes and socks off. You slowly kiss up his body, loving the silent sighs and moans that leave his mouth, before getting back on your feet. You sit him down before taking off his shirt that you’re wearing and your bra.

Andy’s are trained on you as you take off your sweatpants and panties, before walking over and straddling him. You keep your gaze on him as stroke him a few times before sliding yourself down on his cock.

“Fuck,” you sigh, finally feeling content as he stretches you.

“Take what you need from me, sweetheart,” he groans, cradling you in his arms as if you’re a precious porcelain doll.

“Just want...need to feel better,” you moan as you start to grind your hips against his.

“Fuck!”

“I love you so much, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N. Never gonna stop.”

You dip down and kiss him as you start to pick up your pace, sighing in content as your clit rubs against his pelvis. He starts a trail of hungry kisses down your neck and you feel yourself getting close. When he gets to your chest, you push him back because you know you aren’t gonna last long.

Even when he isn’t in control, he can still pull you apart in a matter of minutes. You place your hands on his chest in a weak attempt to keep yourself upright; riding him as if you’re attempting to remind him why he won’t ever be able to give you up. You push your hair back as Andy’s hands start travel up your body, stopping once they’re on your breasts and he’s massaging them, and whine like you’re in heat.

“Andy!”

“You are so fucking beautiful! So fucking beautiful and perfect!”

“I can’t...fuck, I’m so close!”

“Give it to me, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

“Andy!” “Come on sweet girl, give me everything.”

And just like that, you’re cumming hard and digging your nails into his shoulders. With one swift move, he’s pulling you down and flipping you on your back.

“Oh my God!”

“You look so fucking beautiful when you’re riding me!”

“I just need...just need you,” you pathetically plead as he entwines his fingers with yours and raises them above your head so they’re resting against the headboard. “Baby...oh God, don’t stop!”

“You are my entire fucking universe, Y/N! I will do anything to protect you and keep you safe!”

“Andy...oh...fuck!”

“My perfect fucking girl!”

“FUCK!” you shout as your orgasm overtakes you and make a mess all over his cock and you’re sure the bed.

“Christ!” Andy growls into the crook of your neck as he fills you to the brim with his release.

As he rides out both of your highs, all you can think to do is wrap your arms around him and pull him close. Andy is your home and you never want to be without him.

“Are you okay?” he asks after a moment, pulling out and laying beside you.

“I feel better than I did before,” you humorlessly chuckle as you roll over and lay your head on his chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart.”

“No, I’m sorry. I fucking...I shouldn’t have gone off like that.”

“You had every right.”

“Still...I should’ve talked to you first, at least. Just storming in there like that...I just had to fucking sit here and listen to my mother say all of this shit. I was so hurt by her and then to find out that Laurie is the one who started it? I don’t know why I’m surprised that she did it, because she fucking sucks, but it still felt like a punch to the fucking gut.”

“Just know that it’s been dealt with.”

“How angry is Jacob?”

“He said a few choice words and I couldn’t really blame him. He’s hurt...really hurt. I thought he would’ve called or text you?”

“He probably has, I put my phone on my nightstand and have been ignoring it. It was going off like crazy and I just couldn’t deal with it. Jesus, how did all of this happen before 12pm?” you chuckle as Andy lets out a full bodied laugh. “This is something that would happen to us.”

“Who thought this would be such a big fucking deal?”

“I certainly fucking didn’t,” you mutter as you rub your face, “fuck me.”

“Do you still want this?” he asks softly and you can hear the fear in his voice.

“Hey, look at me,” you urge as you gently grip his face and force his attention on you, “I love you. I am so in love with you and I’m not going anywhere. The whole town can hate me, I don’t care. I just want to be with you. Are you sure you want to be with me?”

Andy cups your face and kisses you so passionately you’re worked up again, “I only want you and I’m only ever going to want you. No one and nothing is gonna make me doubt that.”

“Andy-”

“Everyone knows now. There’s no more shit to deal with, no more hiding, and no more secrets. I love the fact that I can finally go out in public with you, and show everyone just how much I love you. Just how much we love each other. It’s not going to be easy, but I want this. I need to be with you.”

“Baby-”

“You were made for me and I was made for you. The moment you stepped into my life, I finally felt like I could breathe. You’ve made me so fucking happy and I wanna spend the rest of my life showing you the same love and happiness you’ve selflessly given me time and time again. There’s never going to be a time when I look at you and don’t feel my heartbeat speed up and my body heat up. There’s never going to come a time when I won’t be in love with you,” he promises sincerely.

It feels so fucking good to cry for a good reason.

You pull him close and kiss him passionately, “lets go adopt a puppy,” you breathe with a smile once you two break apart.

“Lets.”

You both get dressed in silence and the car ride is filled music from the playlist you made for the both of you, while you and Andy rest your entwined hands on the console. The day may have started shitty, but it’s turning out better than you could’ve imagined.

“Do you know what kind of dog you want?” Andy asks as he parks the car.

“Nah, I’ll know when I see it,” you smile and Andy just chuckles.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Do you care at all?”

“I’m just following your lead, babe.”

You know it’s silly, but the fact that you and Andy are about to adopt a dog together has you feeling more excited than you thought it would. It really is a huge step, and you know he’s not just going along with it to make you happy. Yes, Andy loves making you smile, but he’s not irresponsible. You’re more than sure that he knows the responsibilities that come with getting a dog.

He is an actual parent after all.

No, he’s not doing it just to make you happy, he’s doing it because he trusts you. He trusts you to love and care for it, be responsible, and not get bored or tired of it. He trusts you enough to parent together.

“Hello, how may I help you?” the receptionist smiles brightly at you as you and Andy make your way to the desk.

“Um, we’re looking to adopt a dog,” you answer shyly, realizing that you and Andy are actually about to take this giant step together.

It’s insane to you how your day went from being to a complete and total fucking nightmare to a dream come true.

“That’s great!” she beams with a sincere smile as she grabs two clipboards. “I’ll take you to the back soon, we just need you both to fill out these forms.”

As you look over the paper, you see that it’s simple enough and very much necessary, but when they ask for referrals you freeze up.

Currently, everyone in your life hates you.

“What’s wrong?” Andy asks softly as he notices the change in your demeanor.

“I don’t know who to put down for a referral.”

“Sarah and Jacob.”

“Sarah? Yes. Jacob...”

“Sweetheart, it’s fine.”

“Andy’s he still so mad and-”

“Believe me, you can put him down.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he grins before going back to filling out his form.

Andy’s never let you down before, so you can really can’t think of a reason not to trust him now. You’re hesitant, but finish filling out the form and hand it to him so can turn it in along with his.

Your anxiety is really starting to get the best of you.

“Alright, everything looks good, lets head back,” she smiles as she gets up.

You take Andy’s hand in yours, take a deep breath, and follow the woman into the back area. You’re barely listening to the woman as she starts talking about the shelter and what they’re about. It’s not that you don’t care, but your heart just breaks for all of the animals that have been mistreated.

Then you see a puppy crouched in the corner of its kennel and stop in your tracks.

“Who’s this one?” you ask as you slowly make your way over to the kennel and kneel down in front of it.

The poor thing looks terrified.

“Oh, he’s one of our newer rescues,” she sighs. “We’ve named him Louie. We found him on the side of the highway in a thunderstorm. He’s sweet, but very skid-dish.”

“He’s just a puppy!”

“Yeah, I said the same thing. It took him the first few weeks to warm up to us and really eat, but hes come a long way,” she smiles softly, looking at the frightened dog.

Louie is an awful name, but hes stolen your heart.

“Is it okay if I sit in there with him?”

“Sure!”

You’re slow to get in when she opens the kennel door, not wanting to scare him even more, but soon enough you’re inside and settled on the other side of the kennel; wanting to come to you when he’s ready. You slowly hold out your hand, letting him sniff it, then softly go to pet him. It takes a few minutes, but he lets you move a little closer.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetheart,” you tell him in a soft and gentle tone. “I just wanna meet you.”

After a few more minutes, you’re close enough to him and he’s making his way over to you, sniffing you just a bit before deciding to slowly make his way into your lap. You look up at Andy with tears in your eyes and a smile on your face.

“I think we found our pup,” Andy smiles at the woman who has tears in her eyes.

You stay in the kennel for a bit longer, before gently putting Louie down and promising him you’ll come back to see him. Even if they don’t let you adopt him, there’s no way you’re not gonna come back just to comfort him.

The woman asks for you and Andy to sign a few forms before telling you that someone will reach out to you both of you in a week or two.

“Who could do that to a puppy?!” you exclaim as soon as you two are back in the car. “He’s so sweet! Poor little German Shepherd!”

“His name is Louie.”

“That’s an awful name and you know it,” you scowl and Andy laughs softly. “Even if he doesn’t end up with us, I hope he finds a good home. I hope they all find a good home.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s ours, so you better start thinking of names.”

“I don’t wanna jinx it.”

“Sweetheart, I know you weren’t paying attention, but I saw how that woman was looking at you. You need to start thinking about a name.”

“Yeah, everything is great until she calls Jacob.”

“I told you, it’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do,” he smiles at you and pulls up to a stop sign.

“What?”

“I just can’t wait to make you a mom.”

You and Andy spend the rest of the day cuddled up and watching movies. You both decide that the day has been long and stressful enough, deciding to ignore your phones and just enjoy one another for the rest of the day. Andy decides that he doesn’t want to let you go long enough to cook dinner, so you both decide on sushi.

When you’re finally ready to call it a night, you fall asleep feeling understood, loved, and at peace.

Finding the person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with is truly something else.

“It’s not like I intended to almost break down the damn door, Andy,” you mumble, rolling your eyes as you make your way onto the back deck. “I just snapped. I haven’t raged out like that since the 11th grade.”

When you woke up, you were feeling much more calm than you were feeling yesterday, so you decided that you both should actually talk about what happened.

Ya know, you raging out and almost committing a murder.

“I still can’t believe you threw a box of tissues at her,” he scoffs, handing you a cup of coffee as he reads the paper.

“She’s lucky that’s all that was there and that Jacob held me back. She’d honestly probably be in the hospital right now.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it was extremely terrifying and sexy to see you like that.”

“I really did want to be rational,” you laugh, “but after hearing what my boss said at work, then getting that call from my mom-”

“Your boss is the one that confronted you at work?” Andy questions with a growl as he throws his newspaper down.

Fuck.

“Andy-”

“What exactly did he say?”

“Please don’t get yourself worked-”

“Sweetheart.”

You sigh in defeat knowing that you’re about to ruin his day, “it was stupid. He said that his girlfriend-”

“He has a girlfriend and he’s hitting on you all the fucking time?!”

“Andy.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Go on.”

“He said that she saw the whole thing at the grocery store and he figured that’s why I never wanted to sleep with him. He said that he didn’t think I had it in me to steal someone’s husband. It just triggered me which is why I acted the way I did that night, because once again, I was just seen as some man stealing sex bot. Then, when my mom called and said that Laurie is the one spreading all these rumors and shit...I don’t know, I just fucking lost,” you finish with a heavy sigh.

When Andy doesn’t respond, you look over at him and see that one of his hands are clenching the arm of the lawn chair.

“Baby, please don’t-”

“Has he been making advances towards you lately?”

“Just the same shit as usual. Asking me out on dates, asking me to meet him at his place. He hasn’t put his hands on me again. Please don’t get worked up over this, it’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“That’s not helping me to calm down,” he mutters before getting up and heading into the house.

“Babe, where are you going?”

“For a run,” he gruffly replies before you hear his heavy footsteps going up the stairs.

About five minutes later, you hear him coming back down the steps and slam the door shut.

Lovely.

You sigh and grab the news paper, trying to give a damn about hometown politics, but it’s useless now. Andy’s upset and you hate it. Your boss is just a piece of shit, and neither of you can change that. You understand why he’s upset, but you just don’t feel like there’s a point to it. You’ve gotten used to it and he should too.

Your boss isn’t the first guy to treat you like shit and you’re sure he won’t be the last.

You grab both cups off coffee and the newspaper, deciding that it’s best to occupy yourself. Sitting around and waiting for Andy to come back won’t do anything besides cause you to worry. You pour out the coffee in both cups, but before you can start cleaning them, there’s a knock on the front door, and you’re quick to drop everything and run to it.

“Baby, there’s really no reason for you to be...oh,” you say as you open the door and see Jacob standing there. “I thought you were...”

“I can see that,” he mutters.

“He went out for a run and I don’t know when he’ll be back, so-”

“I uh...I came to see you.”

“Oh...okay then...come in, I guess,” you mumble awkwardly as you stand to the side.

You both walk in silence to the kitchen after you close the door and you feel like shit. You’ve never felt so far from Jacob in your life. Out of the corner of your eye you see him looking at the pictures of you and Andy, and you’re so tempted to ask him what he’s thinking.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you ask, grabbing yourself a glass.

“What are you having?”

“A whiskey neat.”

“Make two, I guess.”

“Will do.”

You quickly make the drinks in an awkward silence before leading him out onto the back deck. It’s been a while since you’ve had a drink before 11am, but you’re having a hell of a weekend.

“So...what’s up?” you ask after five minutes of awkward silence and you two just looking everywhere but at each other.

“I’ve been texting you, but you haven’t been answering me.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been on my phone since everything happened.”

“That bad?”

“Let me show you,” you smile sarcastically, putting your drink down before running inside to grab your phone from upstairs. “It hasn’t stopped going off since my mother called me,” you sigh, making your way back outside, tossing it to him.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we need to talk.”

“I guess so.”

“You lied to me, Y/N. To my face, multiple times.”

“It’s not like you made it easy for me to tell you the truth. I wanted to and I tried-”

“You should’ve just told me!”

“How was I supposed to tell you, Jacob? How? I kept trying to drop fucking hints, and all you kept telling me was how you wanted them back together, and that you don’t want him with anyone else or anyone younger. I hated lying to you, we both did, but what was I supposed to do?! You think that was fun for me? Lying to you? Keeping secrets? Jacob, you’re my best friend and I wanted to let you know everything, there was just never a good time!”

“I wouldn’t have gotten so mad if you would have just told me from the beginning!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. There was no right way or good time to tell you, so that’s why we decided to wait until after you proposed. We both thought you were going to propose during the Summer. You decided to wait and what were we supposed to do? Rush you? We knew that telling you would ruin the proposal, so we agreed to do it after. Then...then we fucked up and got carried away. It was never what we intended and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that you found out like that. We had the whole thing planned...I’m truly sorry.”

“Yeah, walking in on my dad filming you two fucking? Hearing you call him ‘Daddy’?”

“Jesus, how much did you hear?”

“More than enough.”

“Jacob, I’m sorry, I really am, but you wouldn’t even hear me out. You just yelled, said a bunch of shit, and then stormed out.”

“What did you expect?!”

“I expected better from you! After everything we’ve gone through, I expected better from you!” you sniff, finally letting your tears fall. “I know I hurt you, but dammit Jacob! You hurt me too!”

“I know I did,” he sighs before taking a long sip of his drink. “Sarah chewed me out for two days. You’re right, this is something I would’ve never been ready for and me losing my shit was the only option. Then, yesterday...once we got home, Sarah told me everything. It’s not like I don’t know that you’re a loyal friend, Y/N...he’s my fucking dad!”

“Jake, I don’t know what to tell you, okay? I tried my best to stop it, I really did. I didn’t want to fall in love with him and the second I figured out that I had, I tried to stay away. We both tried to stop this, but it just...I love him, Jake. God, I am so insanely in love with him.It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”

He’s thoughtful before he speaks, “what my mom did...what shes been doing...you didn’t deserve that. She fucked up, not you. That’s not right or fair to you at all.”

“Yeah well, that’s just Laurie being Laurie,” you mutter before taking another sip of your drink.

“You should’ve told me.”

“Jacob, all the clues were there, you’re just oblivious to everything. I can’t do anything about that. Them arguing over a girl that works in a library, Andy never being around when I’m there, that awkward ass family dinner. I wasn’t about to tell you something that would’ve put more of a strain on your relationship with your mother. Like I said yesterday, I’m fine with you hating me as long as you don’t hate her. Yeah, your mom fucking sucks and she’s not the greatest mom, but at least she gave you the benefit of the doubt when everything happened with Ben. My mother called me after hearing one bullshit accusation and she was calling me a home wrecking whore.”

“For fucks sake.”

“So yeah, the one of us that has two capable and functioning parents? I’m sacrificing myself for that.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I really did.”

“Yeah well, we exchanged some choice fucking words after that. I’m not happy with her.”

“I’m imaging you’re not happy with anyone right now.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Don’t be mad at Andy, Jake. He hated keeping it from you and he wanted to tell you before we left for Italy.”

“Then why didn’t he?”

“Because I told him that I didn’t want our first trip away together to be ruined by me crying because you’ll hate me. We both knew how angry you would be and we just wanted one real couple’s activity before everything went to shit.”

“Did you live out your ‘Roman Holiday’ dream?”

“I did,” you smile at him, pouring you both another drink.

“Well...what do we do now?”

“I mean...I’m not leaving Andy.”

“I don’t expect you to. I guess we just...take it one step at a time.”

“Can you handle that?”

“All I can do is try. It’s not lost on me how much happier you two have been since being together. Once I put everything together...I love you both and I want you both to be happy. If that means you two are staying together...I’m gonna try my best to learn how to deal with it.”

“Trying is a good place to start,” you smile at him.

“Still can’t believe you almost hit my mom.”

“That’s the second time I’ve heard that today,” you groan and Jacob chuckles softly.

“How’s he handling everything?”

“Much better than I am. He’s been keeping me sane.”

“Sweetheart, I’m back!” Andy calls as he makes his way inside the house. “The car outside looks like...oh, hey bud,” he greets awkwardly.

You know that now isn’t the time, but Andy’s been growing out his hair, and he’s currently covered in sweat. You pray that Jacob is ready to go.

“Hey, I’m on my way out. Just wanted to talk to Y/N.”

“I’m sorry if I interrupted-”

“No, we’re all done here. I’ve gotta get back home. Y/N, please text or call Sarah. She’s worried sick about you,” he nods towards you before getting up.

“I’ll text her soon.”

“I guess, I’ll see you around,” he smiles awkwardly before making his way out.

“Jake...are we...?” Andy asks softly.

“We will be...I just need time. I’ll see you both later.”

And with that, he’s out the door.

“Drinking already?” Andy asks, noticing the glasses.

“It’s not like it was a necessarily easy talk,” you shrug before scarfing down the rest of your drink.

“You two resolve it?”

“I mean...he doesn’t hate me as much as he did before, and he did apologize. We both did. I don’t know, time will tell.”

“That’s a good place to start,” he smiles before grabbing what’s left of Jacob’s drink and downing it.

“I take it your run didn’t do you any good?”

“Well, I’ve talked myself out of going to your job tomorrow and beating the shit out of your boss.”

“That’s very big of you and I’m proud.”

“Sweet girl.”

“He’s always going to be an asshole, baby.”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” he growls as he makes his way back inside.

“I never said it did, I’m just saying that there’s no sense in getting angry.”

“I’ve told you before, but I guess it didn’t stick; so let me remind you. You’re mine. Every part of you belongs to me and no one else,” he broods, turning to face you after putting the glass in the sink. “I don’t want him hitting on you, I don’t want him inviting you out to dinner, I don’t want him putting his fucking hands on you, and I don’t want him harassing you.”

You don’t say anything. You just take his hand and lead him upstairs, bringing him into the bathroom.

“You need to shower and unwind, daddy.”

“And how do you think I should unwind?”

“You tell me,” you suggest seductively as you take his shirt off of you.

Andy wastes no time getting undressed and turning on the shower, before pulling you in with him. He’s on his knees almost instantly, hooking your right leg over his shoulder before starting to devour your pussy.

“Fuck! Just like that, daddy! Use me until you’re satisfied,” you whimper, grabbing a fistful of his hair as you start to grind your pussy against his face.

You look down and see his heated gaze on you and it only makes you crave him in the sickest way even more.

That’s the thing about you and Andy’s love that makes it easy to understand why you can’t and won’t ever give him up. It’s not traditional, it’s not always easy, and it’s not always romantic, but it is always honest. There’s no part of either of you that you hide from one another. Even when you both just need to get your anger and aggression out, you show those sides of yourselves to one another.

There are no secrets.

Andy is the first and only person that you’ve been with that makes you feel safe and comfortable with whatever shade and mood you’re feeling. You don’t feel like there’s any part of yourself that you need to hide away to make yourself perfect for him, because he thinks you’re perfect already, and you feel the same about him. He’s not angry because he doesn’t trust you, he’s angry because he knows you deserve better. If he needs to fuck you until the anger and frustration has subsided, then you’re more than happy to let him do that.

He takes him time pulling you apart in the shower, making sure he’s satisfied with what a quivering mess you’ve become, before carrying you into the bedroom and taking you apart time and time again. By the time he’s through with you, you’re a limp mess on the bed.

“Are you okay, baby? Was I too rough?” he questions softly as he strokes your back.

“I’m perfect, Andy. You’re always so good to me.”

“I’m sorry I got a little carried away. I just...we gotta get you a new job, babe.”

“I know, honey,” you yawn, “I know.”

“Rest.”

“I don’t wanna. I wanna spend time with you.”

“We’ll do something when you wake up.”

“Daddy-”

“Don’t argue with me.”

“At least lay with me?”

“Of course,” he laughs softly as he gets under the covers with you, pulling you close and pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Andy. So fucking much.”

“Sleep, baby. Just rest up.”

“Just need...just need you,” you mumble as you succumb to sleep.

When you wake up, you’re in bed alone and the house is quiet. You give yourself a moment to adjust, your body still feeling a bit like rubber from your anger management session with Andy earlier, before getting up and looking over at your alarm clock.

5:30pm.

You’re gonna have the worst time going to bed tonight.

You sigh in frustration as you get out of bed and go over to your dresser, grabbing a random old t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, before heading downstairs.

“Andy?” you call out.

Nothing.

Making your way into the kitchen, you grab a glass and pour yourself a drink, before going out onto the back deck and grabbing your phone. You head back inside, taking a seat on the sofa in the living room, before dialing the one person you were supposed to call hours ago.

“Are you okay?!” Sarah exclaims as soon as she answers the phone.

“I’m alright, I’m sorry. I haven’t answered or really looked at my phone since my mother called me. I’m supposed to be helping you plan a wedding and-”

“Do not worry about that right now. How are you?”

“I mean...it’s out, so at least there’s no more sneaking and hiding. There’s a huge relief in knowing that.”

“I can’t believe she did that shit! I told Jacob I don’t want her at the wedding.”

“Sarah.”

“No Y/N. Fuck her. I’ve been sick of her shit for a long time, but this is entirely too far. It’s not even like she just went to your parents. She purposely went to her little group and lied about everything. I don’t want her there.”

“She’s his mother.”

“Then why doesn’t she fucking act like it?”

“Lets talk about something else,” you sigh before downing your drink, grabbing the bottle under the coffee table, and pouring yourself another.

Sarah giggles before saying, “so you two record yourselves, huh?”

“Stop!” you burst out laughing and she laughs along with you. “That was the first time we’d ever done it too. God, that was such a shit show.”

“I told him to get over it. You’re both truly in love with one another and it’s obvious that you two belong together.”

“Sarah, his best friend is dating his dad.”

“Who gives a fuck? We’re all grown, so he needs to get the fuck over it. After all you’ve done for him? After all his dad has done for him? He can get over it. He’s being selfish and childish.”

“Someone is feisty.”

“Yeah well, my best friend isn’t okay and I’m pissed about it.”

“Everything will be fine in time. Wounds are still fresh and...he just needs time. We all need time,” you finish softly before throwing back another drink and pouring yourself another. “Now, how far along are you with the wedding?”

“We’ll talk about it in a few days. Give yourself time to regroup.”

“Sarah-”

“I mean it, babygirl. Let yourself process all of this and deal with it. We’ve got time, I’m not worried.”

“Thank you, Sarah. For everything.”

“That’s what best friends are for. I’ve gotta go though, Jacob just came home with dinner. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. I love you.”

“I love you, get some rest,” she pleads before hanging up.

You check your phone and see that it’s now 6:20 and there’s still no sign of Andy, so you turn on the TV, have another drink and pour another, and get comfortable. You get through a movie and a half before the front door finally opens.

“Sweetheart?”

“Well, look who’s finally home,” you slur with a humorless laugh.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Where were you?”

“I went to go see Laurie. Why are you drunk?”

“Why did you go to see Laurie?”

“I didn’t exactly get out everything I wanted to say yesterday. Now, put this down and talk to me,” he sighs, grabbing your glass and putting it down on the coffee table, before taking a seat next to you.

“Sarah doesn’t want Laurie at the wedding, my relationship with Jacob is up in the air and I think it’s starting to affect his relationship with Sarah, the town easily believes a full blown lie about me and so do my parents, and when I woke up you were gone. It’s been a hell of a week, babe.”

“Come here,” he sighs, pulling you into his lap and cradling you against his chest. “I didn’t want to wake you up and I didn’t see the point in sending a text because you haven’t been on your phone.”

“No Andy, I don’t think you were out doing anything wrong. I’m lonely. I woke up and you were gone and I felt alone. Yeah, Jacob and I talked today, but I have never felt so far away from him in my life. Obviously, if he’s ever able to get over you and I being together, it’s still not going to be like it was before. Sarah’s annoyed with him for how he’s acting and wishes he would get the fuck over it, so I’m trying to give them space to just sort it out. The town is looking down on me even more now thanks to Laurie, so it’s not like I’m in any real rush to go out and make friends. My parents think I’m a whore as does my boss, and right now, this relationship is the one thing in my life that feels right. I know I can’t make you my only friend or comfort, and I don’t plan on it, but it’s just really tough right now. When you’re not with me, I feel so alone and I hate feeling that way right now,” you finish with a silent sob.

“Oh my sweet girl,” he coos as he rubs your back softly, “I’m so fucking sorry. I honestly never thought she’d take it this far.”

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this. I shouldn’t be so weak-”

“Hey no! None of that. The last thing you are is weak. You’ve had to put up with so much for so long and so much has happened since we got back from Rome. You’re not weak, you’re worn out and I don’t blame you. Anyone in your position would be fed up and worn out. Do not think of yourself as weak, because you’re the strongest person I know.”

“Andy-”

“I mean it, sweetheart. I’ve told you, you don’t have to be strong all the time. You aren’t alone anymore. You take care of me all the time, please let me take care of you. Let me love you, because I love you so fucking much.”

You pull away slightly and look him in the eyes and they’re filled with the most genuine and pure love. He holds your chin with his forefinger before leaning in and kissing your tear soaked lips. It’s not desperate, there’s no lust, and there’s no eagerness. It’s tender, passionate, and filled with love.

“I love you, Andy,” you sob once you two break apart.

“Lets get you something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Baby-”

“I’m not.”

“Have you eaten at all today?”

“No.”

“Can you just eat half a sandwich for me?”

“Andy.”

“Please.”

“Fine,” you begrudgingly agree.

Andy sets you up so that you’re straddling him before wrapping his arms around your waist and standing up. You wrap your legs around him and lay your head on his shoulder, not wanting to be anywhere else.

“What did you tell Laurie?” you ask quietly as he sets you down on the counter.

“A few things,” he mutters as he grabs a plate from the cabinet, “of course, it turned into a yelling match.”

“You didn’t have to say anything, Andy. I don’t want her yelling at you-”

“No,” Andy interrupts as he grabs spiced ham, cheese, and lettuce out of the fridge, “she doesn’t get to pull that shit and get away with it. You’re with me and she’s going to respect you. For her to spread that shit to the whole town? I told her she could make me look like the bad guy. Not you.”

“To her, I am the bad guy.”

“Stop that,” he sighs grabbing Nandos spicy and sweet mayo you love out of the fridge. “Stop showing her favor when she doesn’t deserve it.”

“I almost killed her yesterday, Andy. I’m not showing her favor, I’m just telling the truth. Laurie isn’t capable of ever holding herself accountable, so she’s always going to blame and see me as the bad guy. She doesn’t see why everyone’s so mad, because she’ll always see me as the problem.”

“Yeah well, I don’t give a fuck what she believes cause I know the truth. I told her that if she pulls some shit like that again, she’s not going to be happy with the consequences.”

“Babe-”

“No Y/N. I’m done with everyone thinking they can treat you however they want. I know you say it’s fine because you’re used to it, but that doesn’t make it right,” he huffs as he puts your sandwich together. “I honestly almost went to go see your mother and yell at her too, cause she fucking knows better. I don’t fucking care how much she drinks.”

“What did you say to my father?” you ask, ignoring the arousal between your legs.

Hearing and seeing him get so worked up over you turns you on in the worst way.

“I told him that he’s not fucking welcome here and he needs to fucking go home. He told me I can’t talk to him like that and I told him I can talk to him however the fuck I want when he’s trespassing on our property.That’s when the yelling started.”

“Oh God.”

“He said that I should be ashamed of what I put my family through and I told him that he should be ashamed of the piece of shit that he is. He threatened to hit me and I told him to make a good hit because it’ll be the only one he’ll get in. He was about to say something when you came down and said you’ll take care of it.”

“I’m so sorry, hun.”

“I’m not. Fuck him. If he can’t treat you right, he’s not welcome here. Anyone who can’t treat you with an ounce of fucking respect is gonna deal with me.”

“Andy-”

“I mean it, Y/N. I’m not tolerating that shit. I will yell at everyone in this fucking town if I have to,” he finishes with a huff, adding two pickles to your sandwich before putting on the top piece and cutting it. “Eat half and we’ll go to bed.”

“I don’t wanna go to bed.”

“You have work tomorrow.”

“I don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t want you to,” he scoffs. You keep your gaze on him and he chuckles, “what?”

“You’re growing your hair out.”

“You don’t like it?”

“i love it.”

“Eat,” he laughs softly.

“What will you eat? If I can’t sleep without eating, neither can you.”

“I’ll eat the other half.”

“No, I know you must be hungry.”

“You’re not getting out of eating, honey.”

“It’ll ruin my buzz!” you pout.

“Too bad. You’ve had coffee and whiskey all day. Eat.”

“Fine,” you mutter, grabbing your half of the sandwich.

The both of you eat in a happy and comfortable silence (you mainly happy just to be close to Andy again), exchanging glances and small smiles every once in a while. When you’re both all done, Andy washes the plate off, you hop off the counter and make your way into the living and collect your little more half finished drink.

“Here,” you offer, handing the glass to Andy when you’re back in the kitchen.

“What?” he laughs.

“I know you don’t want me to drink anymore, so you can have it.”

“You may as well finish it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just this once. Next time, I’m pouring it out.”

“Why would you pour out something out that we paid for?”

“Just drink it so we can go to bed,” he laughs.

You cock an eyebrow before downing it in one shot.

“You both mesmerize and terrify me at the same time,” he comments as he takes the glass from you.

“I really love that I have that affect on you.”

“Bedtime,” he laughs, picking you up.

“My phone!” you whine as he starts heading for the steps.

“You don’t need it.”

“It’s my alarm and I have to charge it, Andrew.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” he chuckles, making his way into the living room and grabbing it off the coffee table. “Anything else, Your Highness?”

“That’ll be all, my sweet King. Thank you,” you smile at him and he just chuckles and shakes his head before starting for the stairs again.

Once inside the bedroom, Andy lays you down, before stepping into the bathroom and doing his nightly routine of brushing his teeth, and taking his pills that help him sleep.

You plug in your phone and as you’re about to turn over, it buzzes. You contemplate ignoring it, but you know you can’t keep ignoring the outside world forever.

You feel both excitement and anxiety when you see that it’s a text from Jacob.

The Dark Lord: I know it’s late and you have work in the morning, but I just needed to say this tonight. Yeah, today was weird and I have a feeling that it’ll be weird for a while, but I don’t hate you and I do miss you. I miss being best friends. It’s gonna take some time, but I do understand why you did things the way you did. You’re always looking out for others, especially me. It’ll take time, but I know we’ll get through this. I’ll talk to you later and I love you. Good night.

Y/N: I’m really happy you feel this way, Jacob. I do too. I miss you and our friendship. I love you and I’ll talk to you when you’re ready. Have a good night.

You place your phone on your nightstand feeling a bit more at ease as Andy gets in next to you, shutting off his light and turning on the TV.

“You’re not going to sleep?” you ask, turning to face him and resting your head on his chest.

“No, I’m not tired. You rest.”

“You don’t have to stay in here, baby. You can watch whatever downstairs if you want.”

“No, I’m happy to stay right here with you,” he promises as he wraps an arm around you. “I never want you to feel alone again.”

You can’t stop watching the clock as it gets closer and closer to lunch. When you woke up this morning, you were still worked up from seeing Andy so angry and protective of you last night. So, when you two showered together you basically pounced on him. No, you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, but you did blow him which led to him bending you over once you two got back into the bedroom and eating you out until your legs gave out.

You didn’t have time to make lunch, so Andy made coffee for the both of you and said he’d pick you up for lunch. Usually (if there’s no time to make breakfast), you get a small breakfast to hold you over, but there was no time. You barely made it to work on time, so now you’re starving and desperate to see Andy.

“You’re pretty distracted today,” your boss, Mr. Hathaway, smirks as he leans against your desk.

“I really wouldn’t do this today if I were you,” you mutter, looking back at your computer screen.

“I told you, I don’t give up easily, sweet thing.”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me that.”

“You’re not going to tell me you only open your legs for Andrew Barber,” he scoffs, now sitting on the edge of your desk and you feel your blood boil. “What am I missing here?”

“You’re missing that she doesn’t fucking want you!” Andy snaps, grabbing the douche bag by his lapels and shoving him against the wall.

You were so focused on not focusing on your boss that you didn’t even notice Andy come in.

“ANDY!” you call, standing up and turning all of your attention towards the two men.

“I’m gonna start this off by saying that I don’t fucking like you. Never have and never will,” Andy growls. “That woman? She’s my girlfriend and I believe shes made it perfectly fucking clear that she isn’t interested in you, don’t you?”

“Andy-”

“That’s District Attorney Barber, to you!”

“District Attorney Barber, I never meant to...I was just joking!”

“For almost four fucking years?! Yeah, I don’t fucking think so! Now, she isn’t going to be working here for much longer, but while she is here, you will respect her! Leave her alone or the next talk we have won’t be so fucking pleasant, understand me?!”

“Yeah, I won’t bother her again, I promise!”

“Good, I’m glad we got this all cleared up,” he smiles as he slowly releases your boss. “Also, if she has to deal with any bullshit because you’re an asshole, or gets fired out of nowhere, understand that you’ll get hit with a lawsuit so fucking fast and she’ll have the best fucking representation.”

“S-she has...s-she has h-her job for as l-long as she wants,” your boss stutters.

“Good,” Andy nods before turning to you, “are you ready for lunch?”

All you can do is nod. You grab your jacket and purse before following Andy out of the building, where all eyes are on you.

“Are you okay?” he asks once you two get into his car.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mutter, looking out the window.

If you weren’t turned on as fuck last night, you sure as shit are now.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, I didn’t mean to. I just...I saw how uncomfortable you were and I know hes been making your life hell...I just lost it.”

“Andy, I promise I’m not scared of you, I’m just...surprised.”

Surprised and wet as fuck.

“You don’t have to lie to me, babe, You’ve never seen me act like that and-”

“I swear, I’m not scared at all. No ones ever stood up for me like that and it just caught me off guard,” you smile at him as he starts the car.

“Sushi?”

“Please.”

The entire time you two are at lunch, you try to play it off and make conversation as usual, and move as little as possible (even the smallest bit of friction makes you want to moan).

However, Andy isn’t an idiot and can tell that something is off.

“Honey, you don’t need to be afraid of me. I would never act like that with you. I would never put my hands on you,” Andy sighs as he parks his car in front of the building where you work.

“Baby, you’re really okay. Honestly. I just wasn’t expecting my Monday to go like this,” you laugh softly.

“Promise me?”

“I swear. I know you love me and that you would never hurt me. Now, we both have to get back to work,” you smile at him. “Be a good boy for the rest of the day, please.”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiles as he leans in to kiss you.

You cup his face and deepen the kiss, not meaning to get carried away, but you can’t stop yourself. Every single second of every single day, Andy Barber just makes you love him more and more.

“We can go back home right now if you really want,” he says with a breathy laugh after you two break apart.

“No no, it’s okay. We both have jobs to do, I just always get wrapped up in you,” you giggle.

“I love you and I’ll see when I get home.”

“Sounds good to me. I love you, be careful please. You have a tendency to go over the speed limit,” you warn as you cock your eyebrow.

“Only when I’m desperate to see you.”

“So, all the time?”

“Yup,” he smirks and you laugh. “Get back in there and I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Counting down,” you smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips before getting out of the car.

Shockingly enough, Mr. Hathaway doesn’t bother you for the rest of the day.

Yes, there are other difficulties that stand in your path for the rest of the day, but they all revolve around Andy. It’s not just the fact that seeing Andy worked up instantly makes you want to drop to your knees, but it’s also the fact that he’s protecting you. Yeah, Jacob has gotten into arguments for you, but this is much different.

This is so much more.

Andy knows how much he stands to lose if anyone files the smallest complaint against him, how it’ll reflect his job, what the repercussions could be, and he still came into your job ready to fight. He put you first and showed everyone just how serious and committed he is to you. In that moment, all that mattered was keeping you safe and making sure that you felt safe. Even with Laurie and your father, he made sure to set a boundary and let them both know that harassing you isn’t something he takes lightly and won’t tolerate.

He’s not just telling everyone that he loves you, he’s showing it.

The minute you’re out of work, you’re racing home. Yeah, you always home before Andy, but you want to make sure you look perfect before he gets home. The second you’re in the house, you’re racing up the steps and jumping in the shower, and it’s probably the fastest shower you’ve ever taken.

Andy is usually home 20-30 minutes after you, so you know you have time, but not too much.

You brush out your hair, look for the heels he goes feral over when he sees you in them, and take out the black lingerie you were saving till next week to reveal since that’s when your anniversary is (but he’s more than earned an early reward).

You look yourself over in the mirror, making sure you look perfect, before finally positioning yourself on the bed.

“Sweetheart, I’m home!” Andy calls as he closes the door behind.

Perfect timing.

“Up here!” you respond, propping yourself on your elbows and hiking up one of your legs.

“You okay? You’re usually...holy shit,” he groans once he’s at the bedroom doorway, dropping his briefcase.

“Hi daddy,” you greet innocently.

“Sweetheart...what the fuck?”

“I just want to thank you for today...and yesterday.”

“What did I...oh, that’s why you were acting funny during lunch, isn’t it?” he smirks as he sheds his suit jacket.

“I wanted you so bad, daddy,” you whimper.

“Awh, my good little girl needed attention?” he questions as he makes his way over to the bed. “Daddy should’ve known,” he continues as he attempts to crawl onto the bed.

“You know what I want, daddy,” you pout, holding up your foot to stop him while also giving him a better view of your soaked panties.

“Jesus!”

“You know how I like it,” you whine, grabbing his tie with your right hand, “show me something first.”

“Your fucking panties are already soaked, sweet girl. At least let me see that pretty pussy,” he begs, leaning against the edge of the bed. “I at least took my jacket off.”

“How bad do you want me?”

“I think my pants are showing you just how bad I want you.”

“Only a look, daddy,” you warn innocently as you put your foot down.

Andy gently pulls your panties to the side and sighs, “I don’t think daddy can only look, sweet girl,” he moans as he licks two fingers on his free hand, sliding them into you with ease.

“Daddy!”

“Your fucking pussy is so desperate, sweet girl,” he coos, continuing to fuck you as he gets on his knees. “All I want is a taste.”

“Fuck!”

“The way this pretty fucking cunt shines for me, I think you want me to taste you.”

“Not until you-”

“Y/N! Dad!” Jacob calls as he rings the doorbell.

“Fuck!” Andy sighs against your clit, only making you moan. “You decide how long he waits, sweetheart. The quicker you cum, the quicker I’ll answer the fucking door,” he chuckles before licking your clit, fucking you harder and faster with his fingers.

“Jesus daddy!” you cry out as Jacob continues to knock on the door.

Andy’s only response is to suck and lick on your clit harder, and since your mind is in such a haze, you can’t remember if the windows are closed or not.

You pray they are.

“Dad!” Jacob calls again, banging louder as Andy adds another finger.

“Fuck! Keep it up! Keep...that’s it! I’m so...oh fuck!” you cry out, cumming hard all over Andy’s fingers.

You feel Andy’s smirk against your cunt and it only makes you clench around his fingers tighter as he fucks you through your high.

“Later, sweet girl,” he promises after he finishes cleaning you up. “Get yourself together and cover yourself up,” he chuckles as he makes his way out. “Also, you should call out tomorrow. You decided to look like this, so I’m deciding to destroy you,” he laughs before making his way downstairs. “Hey bud, I wasn’t expecting to see you today...” you hear Andy’s voice trail off.

You take a few moments to get yourself together before getting up; looking through your drawers for sweatpants and a t-shirt before finally making your way downstairs.

“Hey...guys,” you smile when you see both Jake and Sarah there, “this is a happy surprise.”

“I miss you, so I thought that, instead of calling, we’d just come by,” Sarah beams, engulfing you in a hug.

“I miss you too,” you laugh, wrapping her in a hug that’s just as tight. “What’s up?”

“Well, we were thinking that we’d all go out to dinner this Saturday,” she smiles at Jacob before turning back to you. “Nothing special, we just figured...it would be good for all of us.”

“We can just do dinner here-”

“No, lets get out. It doesn’t help anything to stay inside all day, so lets go out and do shit. Go bowling, skating, the movies, dinner...lets just fucking go out.”

“Sarah, what if people-”

“Who gives a fuck about people?” Jacob interrupts, and a smile is instantly painted across your face. “We know the truth and that’s all that matters. Lets just go out and have fun. We’re gonna have to get used to it anyway.”

“I guess you’re right,” you smile weakly, knowing that he has a point but still not wanting to deal with it. “I guess we can go to-”

“That Italian restaurant you love so much on North street,” Andy with interjects with a smile, looking at you.

“Are you guys okay with that?” you ask sheepishly, afraid of breaking any of the little progress that’s been made in the last two days.

“That’s actually perfect,” Jacob laughs, “Sarah’s been wanting to go for the last two weeks, so this kinda kills two birds with one stone. Are you two getting into anything tonight?”

“We actually were about to call the dog adoption center we went to the other day to see if there’s any news,” Andy lies with a smile.

Oh you’re definitely calling out of work tomorrow.

“Yeah, I have a voicemail from them, I was gonna ask about that. What kind of dog?”

“A German Shepherd!” you beam.

“I was not expecting that at all,” Jacob laughs softly. “I’ll get back to them for you. Sarah’s cooking tonight so say a prayer,” he chuckles and she flips him off. “We’ll see you guys this Saturday.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, hugging him first then Sarah.

You know that Sarah is the one who setup impromptu visit and you want to try and figure out what’s going on, but with the way Andy just gripped your hair and yanked it, you know won’t be able to think about anything for a while.

“Get upstairs, undressed, and on the fucking bed,” he growls hotly as they pull off.

You don’t need to be told twice.

You practically run up the steps, get undressed, and put the heels back on before getting back on the bed.

Andy loves fucking you in these heels.

“Now, where were we?” he questions, walking in and loosening his tie.

“You’re not playing fair, daddy,” you whimper, biting your bottom lip as he throws his tie to the ground.

“Don’t be a brat,” he warns as he unbuttons cuffs of sleeves; rolling them up.

“Daddy, please-”

“What did I say?” he chastises, slapping your clit as he gets on his knees. “Did you call out of work yet?”

“No,” you moan, running one of your hands through his hair and gripping it tight, as he licks your clit.

“Call him,” he demands, sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt.

“Da-daddy-”

“Call. Him.” he demands, adding a third finger.

You keep your eyes on him as you reach for your phone. As you start to dial Mr. Hathaway’s number, Andy starts to fuck you faster with his fingers. By the time you press the phone your ear, you barely aware of what words are.

“Such a good little girl,” he praises, before dipping down and sucking on your clit.

“Hello?” your boss answers as you gasp.

God help you.

“H-hello, Mr. Hathaway,” you gasp Andy starts pulling your clit with his lips.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m f-fine, I’m just not feeling all that great. I-I...I won’t be able to make it in tomorrow,” you try to articulate as Andy curls his fingers, finding that makes you come to life for him.

You’re in love with a fucking menace.

“Yeah, you don’t sound so great,” he comments and you wonder how bad he has to be at sex to not get a woman to make the sounds you easily make for Andy every single time.

You lull your head and Andy slaps your thigh, “I’m hoping to be better by...by tomorrow. I’ll let...let you know,” you whine, focusing your attention back on Andy, whose intense gaze is sending chills down your spine.

“Sounds good, get some rest,” your boss encourages before hanging up.

“FUCK!” you cry out, making a mess all over Andy’s face as he smirks against your clit and you toss your phone...somewhere.

“You did so good, baby,” he coos, fucking through your high. “You wanna taste?”

The only thing you can think to do is nod.

“Use your words,” he growls, slapping your cunt.

“Fuck! Yes daddy! I wanna taste, please!”

“Such a filthy little thing,” he chuckles kicking off his shoes as he slowly starts kissing up your body. “Talking to your boss while I fuck you senseless with my fingers and tongue? The way this pretty little cunt clenched around my fingers...desperate little whore.”

“Daddy please!”

“Open,” he demands as he removes his fingers from your cunt. When you instantly open your mouth, he mockingly laughs at you as he places his fingers in your mouth, “pathetic. Clean.”

Just as you start to suck and lick on is fingers, he’s pulling down the strap on the right side of your bra, and licking and sucking on your nipple. Your response is to moan, and grind yourself against him, desperate for any form of release he’ll be nice enough to give you.

“Gonna have to teach you a lesson in patience one day,” he husks after releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’. “However, daddy needs to be deep inside this perfect little pussy,” he smirks, sitting up and unbuttoning his shirt. “Take that fucking bra off before I rip it off.”

You sit up just a bit, unhooking your bra and quickly tossing it aside before starting to unbuckle his belt.

“Did daddy tell you to do that?” he questions, gripping your face after he tosses his shirt and wife beater onto the floor.

“Just wanna help, daddy!”

“Sure you do,” chuckles as he reaches behind himself and rips off your panties, throwing them onto the heap of clothes that’s on the floor.

“Daddy!”

“I’ll get you a new pair, now lay back,” he promises condescendingly, pushing back just a little as his hand travels down to your throat, gripping it tight. “You are so fucking perfect, ya know that?” he praises, shimmying out of his pants and boxer briefs.

“Please!”

“And you’re all mine, right?” he questions, thrusting himself inside of you.

“Fuck! Yes daddy! I belong to you only!”

“Good girl! Fuck, this pussy is so fucking wet!”

“Please, don’t stop! Been wanting this since...since last night!”

“You like it when I show people who you fucking belong to?”

You moan in response and Andy rolls his eyes and slaps one of your tits.

“Use. Your. Words,” he demands as he picks up the pace.

“Yes! I love...I love when...when you show people that I’m your whore!”

“Ya know, we never got to make that movie,” he teases with a sinister smirk and you clench around him. “Oh, you still want to?”

“I wanna do anything you want me to do,” you mindlessly mumble, digging your heels into the bed, hoping that you’re not ripping up the sheets too bad. “I love pleasing you, daddy! I love you!”

“Such a perfect girl,” he groans, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “You are so fucking perfect!”

“Please! I need to let go!”

“I know, sweet girl, look at the camera,” he urges as his other hand wraps around your throat and he picks up his pace.

“Daddy!”

“Does it feel good when I fuck you like this? When I treat you like the whore you are?”

“Oh God, YES! You make my...my pussy feel s-so good!”

“Jesus, Y/N! You keep clenching me-”

“Feels...feels too good! Can’t stop!”

“The way your perfect tits bounce...God, has anyone ever told you that you’re the perfect little cum dumpster? This fucking pussy squeezes me like a fucking dream!”

“I can’t...fuck!” you mewl as your eyes roll back and you clench Andy’s shoulder.

“C’mon, sweet girl, look at daddy! Look at daddy when you cum!”

“Too much!” you shake your head as your body starts to shake and tears start running down your face.

“Look at me, sweet girl! Don’t make me punish you!”

“Fuck!” you cry out, turning your gaze back to him and his phone. “Do I look good for you, daddy? Do I look like your perfect slut?”

“Jesus, sweet girl! Give it to me! Cream on daddy’s cock!”

“JESUS FUCKING CHIRST!” you exclaim, squirting on his cock as you try to keep your focus on him as your whole reaches a new level of pleasure.

This is how it was supposed to go the first time.

“Look at those fucking tears! You look so beautiful, baby,” he praises, riding out your high. “Now, I want you choke on my fat cock while you clean it before I fuck that perfect little ass, and you watch yourself be the perfect little slut that you are.”

“Use me however you want, please,” you sob pathetically.

You’re so desperate to please Andy in any way that he wants, that you don’t care how desperate or pathetic you sound or look. If it’ll get him off on the days when you can’t you don’t care how desperate you look. You are desperate for him. For his love, his approval, his care, his touch, and his desire. Andrew Steven Barber can take and do whatever he wants from you, and all you’ll do is beg for more.

“Fuck, remember the first time you sucked daddy’s cock? My good little girl couldn’t take it without help from daddy, but now look at you! Look at how fucking well you take what daddy has to give you!” he groans, still filming you as you look up at him. “The perfect little cock whore!”

You whine, needing to feel him inside you again, and he smirks.

“Okay sweet girl, hands and knees for daddy,” he instructs once he stops recording, throwing his phone to the edge of the bed.

You don’t realize just how weak you are until you sit up and your legs start to shake.

“Don’t tell me you’re worn out already,” he teases as he slaps your ass.

“No daddy,” you moan, arching back as you hear him open the bottle of lube, “I need more of you!”

“That’s a good girl,” he coos as he coats your puckered hole. “Press play,” is all he says before pushing his way inside.

“FUCK, DADDY!” you cry out, hitting play and trying to pay attention.

“See how beautiful you look? So fucked out and desperate,” he grunts, gripping your hips as he starts fucking into you hard and fast. “Just the most perfect little whore!”

“Fuck! Daddy please don’t stop!” you whimper, doing your best to focus on the video in front of you, gripping the sheets as you try and hold on.

“I love looking at that gorgeous face, sweet girl! You take daddy’s cock so well and you look so fucking perfect when you’re all fucked out! Look at your fucking cream on my cock! The way you cry out with every thrust!”

“Oh my God!” you mewl, lulling your head back.

“No sweet girl, focus,” he coos as he wraps an arm around your waist and starts massaging your clit.

“Oh daddy!”

Between him fucking you into heaven, you watching him fucking you senseless, and hearing what he was saying only moments ago, you can’t even think straight.

“You’re not being a good girl,” he growls, using the hand he was massaging your clit with to grip your face and force your attention on his phone. “Look at how fucking gorgeous you are!”

“Fuck!”

“You see what I see every time I fuck this perfect little body? I want you to see just how beautiful you are!”

“Fuck daddy! Please!”

“You are mine. I’ll never let some asshole hurt or abuse you! Never let anyone make you feel small!”

“Daddy!”

“I love you so much, sweet girl!”

“I lo...I love...shit!”

“My sweetest girl, I will always love you,” he grunts as his movements become erratic, “look how well you take my fat cock!” he whispers against the shell of your ear before licking it.

“P-please! Need...need to...fuck!”

“You gonna explode for daddy?”

“Y-yes! I can’t...please! Feels too good!”

“Do it, sweet girl! Soak the fucking bed!”

“HOLY FUCK!” you cry out, legs almost giving out as you squirt hard all over the bed, clenching around nothing as Andy fills your ass.

He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest, ridding out his high as the video you two made still plays in the background. You whimper in dissatisfaction as he pulls out, even though you know you need a break, and grip the sheets tighter at the sound of him moaning as he watches his release seep out of your ass.

Who knew your knight and shining armor could be so filthy?

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?” he asks as he smooths one of his hands over your ass.

“No daddy, I’m perfect.”

“Good, cause we’re just getting started.”

Andy doesn’t take it easy with you, but it’s not like you’re “Little Miss Queen of Safety” either. You both take turns, marking each other up, leaving hickies on different spots of one another, getting lost in each other, filming one another, and surrendering to one another. You had no idea that your little ‘thank you’ would set him off so much, but it’s not like you’re mad about it.

“That’s right, baby! Ride daddy’s cock!” Andy encourages as brace yourself against his chest, knowing that this time will be the final time for you.

“Daddy...I can’t-”

“Yes you can, sweet girl! Bring us both off! Daddy loves the way you take his cock, sweetheart!” “Fuck! I’m so fucking...daddy!”

“I know, sweet girl! Be a good girl and give daddy everything, cause you are daddy’s good girl...right?”

Nodding seems to be the only thing you’re capable of at this point.

“Use your fucking words,” he demands, gripping your neck tight, only making you clench around him tight. “Shit!”

“You’re my good girl, right?!”

“J-Jesus! Fuck y-yes! I-I’m only yours, daddy! Made for you...fuck! I’m gonna...oh God!”

“Give it to me!”

“FUCK!” you cry out as your orgasm overwhelms you and you collapse against him.

“Good girl!” he praises as he spills his seed into you for what feels like the hundredth time.

You lay against him as he rides out both your highs and he wraps his arm around you tight. Neither of you says a word as you try to regulate your breathing; trying to come back down to earth.

“You...you okay, sweetheart?” he pants after a bit.

“Ye...yes, baby.”

“Did I take it too far?”

“Y...you never do.”

“I didn’t mean to get so s...selfish-”

“I love when you are.”

“I love you,” he smiles at you.

“I love you, baby.”

You give yourself a few more minutes before finally pushing yourself up and making your way off off him, and collapsing onto your back.

You wish you two always had time to make each other feel this good.

“Laurie...she didn’t like me defending or sticking up for her. At the time, I thought it was because I was embarrassing her or something, but then I figured out that she just didn’t want anyone to think we were too serious about each other. That she was serious about me.”

“Baby...”

“You getting that worked up and excited about me protecting you...claiming you, it just got me...I keep learning, every day, that you show your love for me in different ways. I know that you’re learning how to accept and love, but so am I, sweetheart. I’m learning all over again and I’m so happy to learn with you.”

You turn over on your side, pull him close, and kiss him deeply. It’s nothing like the sensual and sultry kisses you two were giving each other for hours prior, but passionate and sweet. It isn’t necessarily urgent, but it’s longing. You’re longing for him to know just how much you’ll always love him and that you’ll never leave him. Desperate for him to know that he can take his time with trusting you and feeling secure in the relationship.

Desperate for him to know that you’re all in just as much as he is.

“What are we gonna do about dinner?” he breathes once you two breakaway and you burst out laughing.

“I’m gonna need at least another 20 minutes before I can confidently get out of bed.”

“Are you sure I wasn’t too rough? I know you like it, but I feel like I get too carried away.”

“Baby, I wish we could get carried away like this all the time,” you giggle as you caress the side of his face; his beard gently scratching your palm. “Yes, I love the softer and passionate sex, but they’re times I need it rough and you give me exactly what I need. I’m not some delicate little flower that you need to worry about. Until I say it’s too much, it’s not,” you promise.

“You are truly something else,” he smiles before pulling you in for another passionate kiss.

Eventually, you two get out of bed, shower, then make your way downstairs into the kitchen, and since your body is still recovering from your adventurous evening with Andy, he’s the one who makes dinner while you find you something to watch on TV. Once you decide on ‘The Misfits’, you join Andy in the kitchen, make yourself a glass of wine, hop on the kitchen island, and easily fall into a debate about why cookie dough ice cream is better than plain vanilla ice cream.

Once again, your life feels like a dream.

Dinner (lamb, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) is spent on the couch, barely paying attention to the movie, as you two continue your ice cream debate.

“I know you wanted to wreck my body, but why else did you want me to call out?” you question as you scoop more ice cream onto your spoon as Andy starts laughing.

“I miss hanging out with you. I thought we could just take the day to do whatever we want. We can go check on Louie and then do whatever we want from then on. Today and the weekend were a bit much, so I figured we should just take a timeout for a day.”

“You are the most thoughtful man in the world, did you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it a time or two,” he smiles at you.

There’s truly no better feeling in the world than being loved by Andrew Barber.

He’s so patient and considerate with you, that you forget. You forget that he’s sorting out and working through his own shit. He never makes it as obvious as you do that he’s still healing. You can’t help but get frustrated with yourself for not noticing. It’s obviously not that you don’t care, but when he says nothing, it’s hard for you to get out of your own head for a single second, cause you’re still trying to accept that he’s sticking by your side and that all of this is real.

He’s real.

You two spend the first half of your day off at the pet store, because Andy’s more than sure that you two are going to adopt Louie, so he wants to make sure the house is ready. After everything is set up, you both spend an hour at the shelter just bonding with Louie (because unbeknownst to you, Andy’s been talking with the shelter since you fell in love with Louie), playing with and just making him feel comfortable. You find yourself getting emotional towards the end, because Louie can’t decide if he’s more in love with you or Andy.

Once again, the week feels like a dream because it’s just and Andy at the end of the day. No one at work gives you any shit, your boss seems to finally understand that he needs to back off, and you and Andy live in your own little world the second he gets home from work.

However, no dream lasts forever.

“Alright,” Sarah starts as you all walk in to Fiorella’s Cucina, “I need everyone to keep me on track tonight, cause this diet sucks and I want everything,” she whines and you laugh.

“You don’t need a diet!”

“I need to stay in shape!”

“One day of indulgence won’t kill you!”

“It leads you down a dark path, my friend,” Sarah jokingly forebodes as you all take your seats. “You’ll see once two are engaged,” she laughs.

You notice Jacob awkwardly squirm in his seat and instantly grab Andy’s hand under the table out of anxiety, “we’ve got time,” you laugh awkwardly.

“So, you two have talked about marriage?” Jacob asks after the waitress walks off with the drink order.

“In passing,” Andy shrugs, keeping an eye on his menu and in that moment, you’re truly grateful.

You’re grateful because he understands that you’re not shying away from the question because you’re ashamed, but because you’re afraid of screwing up any progress being made.

It’s obvious he is too.

“Hows work been?” Sarah smiles at you as she puts her menu down.

“Ha! Work has been...eventful, to say the least,” you snicker, closing your menu and placing it down. You notice a few tables that are whispering and glancing over at all of you, but you do your best to ignore it. “I’m thinking about leaving soon. I’ve been looking around, but I also don’t actually know what I want to do. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t think I ever have.”

“You always figure it out in the end,” Jacob smiles softly as the waiter comes over and drops of the drinks.

“Are you ready to order or do you need more time?” he asks politely.

You’re all set to answer until you hear the lady at the table next to you say, “I know he’s the District Attorney, but does he really not have any shame? It’s not enough for him bring his murderous son everyone, but now he has to flaunt his new young whore around? God, I can’t even begin to imagine how or what Laurie must be feeling!”

“It wasn’t enough for her to ruin that teacher’s life, apparently. She clearly didn’t think the Barbers had gone through enough. What a tramp.”

One of these days, you’ll learn to control your anger, but today isn’t that day.

“You wanna say that again?!” you snap, turning around and facing them.

They both just stare at you with wide eyes while they stammer.

“What’s wrong? You were both chatty as hell a second ago! Go on! Andy’s an asshole, Jacob’s murderer, and I’m a tramp, isn’t that right?!”

“Sweetheart, just-” Andy starts, trying to calm you down.

“No Andy! Everyone seems to know everything, because your unhinged ex-wife made sure to spread her little bullshit story to everyone! So, since everyone knows all the fucking facts, I don’t see why they’re being so fucking quiet now!”

“Listen,” one of the women starts, “Laurie said-”

“Has it ever occurred to anyone in this stupid fucking town that they’re two sides to every story, and that unless you’re actually involved in the situation you should shut the fuck up and mind your own business?!”

Yes, all eyes are on you now, but it’s not like you actually give a fuck. You’re so over all of this shit and you want nothing more than to punch Laurie in the face.

“We’re sorr-”

“Shove it up your own ass,” you scowl, throwing your napkin down as you grab your purse before storming out.

The second you lean against Andy’s car, you start crying. Yes, it’s out of pure rage and anger, but you still find yourself annoyed with yourself because why do you keep letting it get to you? Why do you keep letting this piece of shit town bring you down? You know it’s never going to change, so why can’t you just ignore it?

“Oh sweetheart,” Andy coos as he approaches the car.

“I could wring her fucking neck, Andy. I swear to God.”

“It’s not going to solve anything, darlin’,” he sighs as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight and loving hug. “The only real option is to move.”

“Why should we have to?! Why should either of us have to give up another fucking thing for Laurie?!” you sob angrily, clinging to his shirt as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright. “Why does she always win?!”

“This is all my fault. I should’ve-”

“No, it’s her fault! It’s this town’s fault!”

“Sweetheart, we can just-”

“I am so sorry!” Sarah proclaims as she comes up to you and Andy. “Those assholes had no right!”

“No, I shouldn’t have-”

“They should’ve kept their fucking mouths shut! You had every right to go off on them!”

“I really have to stop lashing out at people.”

“It’s long overdue if you ask me,” she huffs. “Do you wanna go back you guys’ place and just order something?”

“You still wanna hangout with me?” you chuckle humorlessly, wiping your eyes.

“Of course we do! Right, babe?” she calls over her shoulder to Jacob.

“Yeah,” he responds softly.

You can’t tell if he’s upset about what happened or something else but, at the moment, you don’t have the energy to ask. You just wanna go home and forget about dinner.

“I guess just follow behind us,” you encourage weakly before getting in Andy’s car.

The entire drive home, Andy keeps trying to calm you down, but you just disappear into yourself. You don’t mean to and you want to be there for him, but you feel like all you do is making things harder for and embarrass him. Why can’t you just swallow it down and not lash out? Andy, Sarah, and Jacob know the truth, so why can’t that just be enough for you?

It doesn’t help that you feel like you’re being incredibly selfish. No, he’s not going to say it because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but Andy needs you. If you’re pissed off, you know he is too. You want to look past your own rage, but in this moment, you just can’t see a way past it. You’re not just angry for yourself, you’re in a rage for him too. Yeah, hes told you time and time again that he doesn’t mind dealing with all of the negative and horrible things people say when it comes to him and him being with you, but you’re not.

Hes been through so much already and you just don’t see how you’re worthy of any of his patience and love. His or Jacob’s for that matter.

By the time you two get home, you have a headache from both your crying and the internal war you’re at with yourself.

“Hey, would it be okay if I talk to my dad outback for a bit?” Jacob asks once you’re all inside.

All you do is nod before kicking off your shoes and heading upstairs. You hear soft footsteps behind you and you know it’s Sarah.

“This is all my fault and I’m so sorry,” she sighs as soon as you two are in you and Andy’s bedroom.

“How is this your fault? You didn’t tell those two old bitches to be cunts,” you mutter as you rifle through Andy’s drawer for his Soundgarden t-shirt.

Yeah, it’s old and worn, they’re a few holes in it, and it swallows you whole; but it feels like a hug every time you put it on.

“Jacob and I...you know hes been pissing me off lately. No, I’m not about to break off the engagement, but I’m over his “poor me” attitude. He swears that you and Mr. Barber don’t have a hard time, and that he has to deal with the backlash of this. His mom, his friends, the town...his dad dating his much younger best friend. He gets so wrapped up in his own head sometimes that he really doesn’t fucking see anything else. I get it, the whole thing with the trial and everything...but he needs to realize that not everything revolves around him, so that’s why I pushed for dinner for tonight,” she sighs regretfully. “I only thought there would be stares or eye rolls, especially at a place like that,” she sighs as you finally find Andy’s shirt; quickly discarding your shirt and putting Andy’s on.

“I mean, it wasn’t the best plan,” you scoff, “but there’s still nothing for you to be sorry about. You didn’t tell those cunts to be assholes.”

“We wouldn’t have had to deal with it-”

“We wouldn’t have had to deal with it if Laurie wasn’t a cunt. Yeah, everyone in this town already sucks and is a total idiot, but Laurie made sure to spread her venom. I’m not going to be mad at you for looking out for me, you and Andy are the only people I’ve been able to depend on for a while.”

“Have you spoken to your parents at all?”

“Not since the outburst at Laurie’s house.”

“I can’t believe your mother just lashed out at you like that.”

“I can and I can’t at the same time,” you sigh as you lay back on the bed.

Sarah looks around the room and smiles before saying, “you two are really happy, aren’t you?”

“We really are,” you smile with teary eyes.

“It won’t always be like this, babe.”

“I know, Andy and I tell each other that all the time, but it’s just hard right now.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not really, no. Thanks for making Jake understand that this isn’t simple or easy for us at all,” you chuckle humorlessly.

“He’s coming around,” she sighs as she takes a seat at the edge of the bed. “He just needs to get the fuck out of his own head.”

“Yeah, that’s always been a problem for him.”

“You’re not wrong,” she scowls.

“Babe! Y/N! Can you guys get down here so we can decide on dinner?!”

“Didn’t they shoo us away so they can have a talk?” Sarah mutters as you burst out laughing as you both get up and make your way downstairs.

“Have either of you decided on anything?” you question as both you and Sarah enter the kitchen; you walking over to the cabinet and grabbing four glasses.

“Well, I know you wanted Italian, but now you’re upset, so I was thinking Asian or Thai,” Andy suggests as he wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.

“I’m sorry about that,” you mumble, leaning into him before turning to face Jacob, “I’m sorry to you too.”

“No, you had every right to go off on those assholes. They were out of line,” he murmurs with a frustrated glare as he rubs the back of his neck.

You realize that you and Andy are probably making him uncomfortable, so you go to break away, but Andy’s hold on you only tightens.

Oh God, what the hell did they talk about?

“I feel like I know what everyone wants to drink, but I’ll ask just to be polite,” you smile.

“Wine, please,” Sarah whines as she takes a seat at the kitchen isle.

“Whiskey,” Jacob laughs, taking a seat next to her.

“You already know what I want,” Andy chuckles.

“So, I was right about everyone? Got it,” you smile as you try and get

out of Andy’s hold. “You have to let me go so I can make the drinks,” you laugh.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be. Still just adjusting, I guess,” you sigh, fighting back your tears of pure frustration.

You refuse to focus on it for the rest of the night.

“I love you,” he whispers into your hair before kissing it, finally letting go

of you so you can make the drinks. “So, what do you want?” he asks a little

more loudly, leaning against the sink.

“Lets do Asian.”

“Duck Sauce?”

“Oishi.”

“My sneaky little queen,” he smirks. “The usual? Spicy calamari,

steamed dumplings, and Saki?”

“You know me better than anyone else,” you smirk, getting on your tip

toes and kissing his cheek.

“Jake, I know you like the back of my hand, “Andy laughs, “Sarah, you

wanna help me set up karaoke in the next room while you tell me your order?”

he asks as he grabs his drink.

“Sounds good to me,” she smiles, grabbing her drink before hoping off

her seat and following Andy.

Just you and Jacob. Great.

“I’ve been a dick and I’m sorry,” Jacob sighs, sipping his drink as you

lean against the countertop.

“Jake-”

“Please don’t. Just fucking don’t. You don’t owe me shit. I should know better, especially after all the shit I went through and I still...Sarah was right...God, I’ll never hear the end of it,” he scoffs and you chuckle. “It’s weird for me, Y/N. You’re my best friend and you’re in love with my dad. However, you’re my best friend and you’ve needed me.”

“Jake-”

“Just let me say it,” he begs, taking another sip before taking a deep

breath. “You deserved better. You’ve been by my side through everything and I just...I let you down, Y/N. I can see it now. How much you two love each other, how dedicated you are to one another, how genuine all of it is...I can see it now. I think I was just being angry for my mom at first, but after everything happened, I was angry because you didn’t tell me, but how could you? How could handle my outburst when you already knew it would be a disaster? That wasn’t fair of me at all. You’ve gone out of way time after time to show just how much you love and will look out for me, and when the time came for me to show up for you...I failed. I failed on so many levels and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You take a moment before saying, “Jake, I need to know that you’ll be okay with this. I can’t keep dealing with you going back and forth. I am in love with Andy, your father, and that’s never going to change. I need you to accept that.”

“I do. We had a talk...I know how much you mean to him and how serious he is. When I thought about it, the times when I saw him after he moved out and I thought he discovered he just needed some space, he was with you. Since hes been with you, hes been so happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen him...and so have you,” he smiles softly as he gets up and rounds the isle. “All I’ve ever wanted is for the both of you to be happy, and now that you two have each other...I can handle it. The hell you have to deal with is so much more than I ever imagined. What makes it worse is that my mom is the reason for all of this being so terrible, but you two...he told me about the other day with your boss, then seeing you today...I know it’s real,” he finishes softly as he wraps you in one of tightest hugs hes ever given you and you sob into his chest. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry. You needed me and I wasn’t there, but I promise it’ll never happen again.”

“I’ve missed you, Jacob,” you sob as you wrap your arms around him.

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N,” he sobs into your hair.

“We’re good?” you smile up a him as you back away.

“You tell me.”

“I was never mad at you.”

“Of course you weren’t,” he scoffs as he wipes his eyes, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you smile as you wipe your own eyes.

“Jesus, lets get in there, huh?” he laughs, sniffling a little.

“Sounds good,” you laugh in agreement.

As the night goes on, everyone relaxes and falls into a comfortable conversation. By the time the food arrives, you and Sarah have taken over karaoke, belting out ‘Just Like Heaven’ by The Cure, while Andy and Jacob just laugh and encourage the both of you.

On the one hand, everything feels so much better and lighter, and you finally feel like you can breathe again. On the order, you feel like all you do is make Andy’s life harder, and that’s the last thing you want.

“What’s wrong?” Andy sighs as you two get ready for bed.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t, sweetheart. Please. You feel so far away and no matter how hard I tried tonight, I couldn’t reach you. What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything,” you mumble; your eyes start to water because you feel awful.

It seems you always feel awful.

“I thought tonight went well? At least the ending.”

“It was a great ending,” you sob.

You and the fucking tears.

“Sweetheart-”

“I can’t keep making things harder for you! You need me and I’m so fucking selfish! Getting lost in my own fucking feelings and shutting down, lashing out at people-”

“Honey, you’re allowed all of those things! It’s okay to-”

“No it’s not! Not when you need me! I’m not the only one going through this! I’m not the only one who’s furious-”

“Do you love me?” he interrupts softly.

“What?”

“Do you love me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then stop it. Please stop beating yourself up. The way defended me today? The things you said when you screamed at Laurie? I know how much you love me and that you’re always going to be here for me. I also know that you’ve never been with someone who lets you feel what you’re feeling. People take from you and give nothing back and you’re still adjusting. I always knew this wouldn’t be overnight thing and I’m fine with that. You don’t need to keep apologizing for feeling the things you do. Good or bad. You’re not making my life harder at all, and I’m still so damn happy and proud to be with you.”

“Andy...” you sob softly, trying to collect yourself.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he sighs before grabbing his phone and making his way over to you. “You are perfect to me.”

“Andy, I’m not-”

“To me, you are. You are perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing about you,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around you. “It’s been a while since we slow danced.”

“You wanna slow dance now?” you scoff, wiping your eyes.

“I always want to dance with my perfect woman,” he smiles before hitting play on his phone before tossing it down.

When ‘Crown of Thorns’ by Mother Love Bone starts playing, you can’t stop yourself from laughing.

“You know this is an anti-love song love song, right?” you laugh as you two start to move as one to the music.

“Yeah, but this is my kind of love, and I’ll be happy to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives,” he chuckles softly as he holds you closer.

As you two move together in silence, you rest your head on his chest and think about all the hell you two have gone through to get to this point. All of the smiles, tears, pain, laughter, arguments and so much more...it’s all been worth it, and you can’t imagine yourself being any happier than you are now. No, it isn’t perfect and you know there will be more obstacles to come, but Andy’s right:

This is your kind of love.

Andy’s P.O.V.

It’s been two weeks since the incident at the restaurant and I’m still no closer to not wanting to scream at Laurie. Hell, the only reason I haven’t is because you begged me not to. Yes, there was that small bright spot when you got the call that we were going to be able to adopt Louie, but it was short lived.

God, you were so adorable that day. I didn’t think I could fall anymore in love with you than I was, but you proved me wrong.

“Babe, he’s fine,” I laughed as you looked down at the excited puppy in your lap.

“I just wanna make sure! What should we name him? Cause Louie is an awful name, isn’t it?” you asked the pup in a baby voice, and he just licked your nose. “Andy, I love him so much!”

“And he loves you.”

“We need a name!”

“Albert,” I smirked and your smile instantly went away.

“Andy, I love you with all my heart, but if you don’t take this seriously, I will leave you out of all decision making for the foreseeable future.”

“Okay, okay,” I laughed as I came up to a stop sign, “how about Lucky?”

“I feel like that’s such a common name for dogs.”

“Yeah, but he’s a lucky pup! He has you for a mom.”

“Don’t start,” you smiled at me as I pulled off.

I fucking love being the reason that you smile.

“Oh! What was the name of that stuffed dog you had when you were a child?”

“Buttons?”

“Yeah! Name him Buttons!”

“I don’t think he’ll respond to-”

When you were interrupted by a tiny little bark, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You like that?” you excitedly asked, only to be met with another bark. “Then Buttons it is!”

“Shit, I knew I forgot something,” I scowled. “Babe, we gotta go to the vitamin store.”

That’s when your demeanor changed.

“Um can you drop us off at home first?” you asked so softly I barely heard you. “I want him to get used to his new home.”

That was 100% unlike you. You used to love going to the vitamin store with me, but you love to give me shit about how many more I taken now than when we first started dating. When I looked over at you, your face said it all.

You were scared.

Between Laurie’s lie and your outburst at the restaurant, you’re afraid to go out anymore. Afraid of the stares, the murmurs, the judgemental glares...home is the only place you feel safe anymore and I hate that. I hate that I can’t just shield you from everything and everyone. I know you feel safe with me, but I also know that no matter how much I tell you not to, you worry about how people view me and what they’ll think of me when they see me with you.

You’re afraid to go out because you think you embarrass me and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know I can’t force you into anything, and I never would, but it’s so fucking frustrating to feel like we’re right back where we started.

Hiding.

All I want is to take you out and show you how happy I and proud I am that I get to be with you. How happy I am that you chose me. I’ve never been ashamed of you and I never will be, and I know that you’ll get there in time, but we had made so much progress and now this.

Fucking Laurie.

“Hey, Andy!” Neal calls after me once I’m outside.

Great.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I wanted to know if you have a minute to talk.”

“I’m kinda in a rush right now, is it really important?”

“It can wait, don’t worry about it,” he smiles but it looks forced.

“You sure? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, we’ll talk about it another time,” he nods with an awkward smile.

What the hell is going on now?

I give him a quick wave before rushing off to my car and speeding to the florist. I don’t want to leave you by yourself for too long, not with how you’ve been feeling lately. No, you don’t lie to me, but you also won’t tell me what’s going on with you unless I ask. Before we started dating, you would tell me everything so easily. Now, you’re constantly afraid of needing me, depending on me, because you think it’ll push me away.

It’s the most infuriating thing because we got so fucking far. The moment you were finally feeling comfortable and secure in our relationship, everything went to shit, and now we’re fighting like hell to get back to where we were. I know you believe me when I say I’m not going anywhere, but it’s not like it’s hard to see why it’s so easy for you to slip back into your shell. Your parents and Jacob turned on you in an instant, so of course you keep wondering when something will happen that I’ll think is too much and turn on you. There’s nothing I want more than to propose, God knows I’ve had that ring for over a year, but not like this. Not when you’re still trying to get your footing and figure this all out. It’s not fair to you at all and I don’t want to add more pressure when you’re already feeling overwhelmed.

No, when I finally propose it’ll be perfect and what you deserve.

“Sweetheart!” I call out as soon as I step inside our home, greeted by a sleepy but very excited Buttons. “Hey bud, where’s Mama?” I ask as I squat down to greet him.

“In the kitchen, babe!” you call, and I swear it’s music to my ears.

I missed you so damn much.

“Lets go visit her,” I whisper to Buttons before getting up and starting on my short trip.

I’ve seen you in my t-shirts a million times, but it’s something I’ll never tire of. You will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I don’t care what you wear.

“These are for you.”

“Andy! You didn’t...these are beautiful!” you beam as you take the bouquet of white lilies from me, eyes watering just a little.

“I wanted to. It’s long overdue. Hey, why don’t you throw on some shorts and we’ll go out. Take the night off.”

“No...no, that’s okay. I don’t mind. I finally decided on what to make-”

“Sweetheart, we can’t stay in the house forever.”

“I know and I don’t plan to, but-”

“But what?”

“It’s only been two weeks, Andy,” you sigh as tears start to well up in your eyes. “I can’t keep-”

“People can’t keep disrespecting you. Those women were out of line and Laurie was way out of line. I snapped on your boss in front of everyone, you don’t see me hiding.”

“That’s different, you’re you and I’m-”

“What does that even mean?”

“You’re well respected and I’ve never been-”

“Sweetheart,” I sigh, dropping my briefcase, “I love you. I worship the ground you walk on, and I adore the hell out of you. That’s never going to change.”

“Andy, I know-”

“Hey,” I coo, doing my best to show you that I’m not angry or annoyed as cup your face, “it’s me and you forever. We’ve got this. Are you in love with me?”

“You know I am,” you softly sob.

“And I am desperately in love, so please don’t worry. I’ve been telling you since we started this; I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or has to say. The only thing I care about is your happiness.”

I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, sweetheart, I promise. It’s all going to be okay,” I try to reassure you before kissing you.

We’ve kissed a million times, and I still go weak at the touch of your lips. Always soft, always welcoming, always meant for me; I could kiss you all day, every day, for eternity. Your grip tightens the second I go to pull away and you pull me closer.

How is it that you always leave me in a dazed and confused state every time we kiss?

“Honey...don’t,” I whisper as we break apart.

I don’t know why I ever put a fight because it’s not like I ever want to stop loving you. I need and want you all the damn time, so telling you ‘no’ is really a waste of breath for the both of us, but I always need you to know that this is what you want. You can control everything about us and I need to know that it’s what you want, and not just my baser instinct taking control.

“I just want you, Andy. I want you to make me feel only the way you can,” you hush, looking up at me with those innocent eyes of yours.

“You don’t have to-”

“I want you, baby. I’ve felt so far from you and I know that’s on me...I just want to get tangled up in you for a while.”

In almost no time at all, we’re upstairs in our bedroom, and you’re undressing me as if your life depends on it. You’re ready to get on your knees. Any other time I would happily accept it, but this isn’t the time.

“No sweetheart, take off the shirt and get on the bed for me.”

“Andy-”

“Get on the bed, baby. Take off that shirt and let me watch you get warmed up for me. I wanna take my time with you,” I breathe, my gaze on your intensity as you slowly stand up, making your way to the bed.

Our bed.

“Open up those pretty little legs for me, baby. I need to see just how much you need me, right now,” I groan, stroking myself at the sight of you naked on our bed.

Our bed. Our home. Our room. I’ll never get over the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Every second of every day will be spent loving and taking care of you. I’m so fucking happy about that.

“Andy,” you whimper, slowly sliding two fingers into your pussy as your other hand plays with one of your breasts, “please, don’t keep me waiting!”

“Need to hear just how bad you want it, sweetheart,” I tease.

“You’re all I’ll ever...all I’ll ever need,” you whimper, your toes curling as you fight off your release.

“You sure, baby?” I question, maybe for my own sanity, as I make my way over to the bed and getting down on my knees. I grip your thighs tightly before pulling you closer to the edge.

“Fuck! Yes baby! It’s only you for me! Only one I’ll ever need!”

“That’s my girl,” I praise before diving between your legs.

Your scent is always enough to drive me insane, but tasting you brings out a completely different animal together. Your nectar is something I would happily devour all day and night. The way you grip my hair and moan my name as you grind your perfect little pussy against my face? I can’t get enough. I’ll never be able to get enough of everything about you.

“Oh fuck! Yes...fuck baby!” you gasp once I slide two fingers inside your soaking little honeypot.

My curiosity reaches an all-time high when I hear that breathy and desperate little voice of yours. Glancing up at you only makes me that much more desperate to be buried deep inside you. Your head is lulled back while your hand is playing with your breast, and your mouth is slightly agape. Usually I force your attention back on me, and I want to now, but seeing you like this...God, how did I get so damn lucky?

“Andy...baby, if you keep...fuck! I’m so close!” you whimper as I pick up my pace, desperate for you to come apart at the seams.

I adore you.

“Shit!” you scream, as you squirt all over my fingers and it drips off the corners of my chin.

The pleasure I get out of soaking my face and making love to you everywhere and anywhere I can is probably sick but fuck it. Every little thing about you brings out an animal in me that I never knew existed until I met you, and if parts of that animal are slightly deplorable then so be it.

“Baby...baby please!” you whine as I kiss my way up your body, my fingers still teasing your clit.

“You were made just for me, sweetheart,” I mumble against one of your breasts before licking your nipple.

“Please!”

“Never gonna stop loving you.”

“I love you so much, Andy! Fuck!” you whimper, gripping my hair tighter once I finally thrust myself inside of you.

The warmest welcome I’ll ever receive.

“How could you ever think that you’re not enough for me, sweetheart?” I question, pumping into you harder and faster than I mean to, but I can’t stop myself. I can never control myself when it comes to you.

“You’re too good...too good for me,” you sob, clawing my back as you start moving with me.

You and those fucking tears, I swear to God.

“No sweetheart...it’s you that’s too good for me! Always been too fuckin good for me!”

“It’s too...feels too fucking good, baby! Please! I need to...fuck!”

“You wanna cum for me, babygirl?” I groan as your perfect little pussy clenches me, sending me into in my own euphoric high.

“Please!”

“C’mon, baby! Give it to me! Show me just how much you want me!”

“Shit! I need you so much, baby!” you cry out, as you soak not only me, but the bed as well.

I can never get enough.

“Fuck, Y/N!” I growl into your neck as I shoot my load into you.

Yeah, I wanted this to last longer, but sometimes you just make it so hard for me to control myself.

That and I’m not as young as I used to be.

I would feel bad for Buttons, but by day three, he was more than accustomed to the sounds we make when the door is closed.

“Tomorrow...we’ll do dinner, okay?” you breathe, bringing me out of my own thoughts as you regroup.

“I wanna take you somewhere nice.”

“Andy-”

“Let me spoil you just a little bit,” I plead and you smile up at me.

I could get lost in your smile all damn day.

“You spoil me just by loving me.”

“Doesn’t feel like it’s enough,” I murmur as I shower kisses along your neck.

“Andy,” you moan, running your hands through my hair.

And that’s all it takes.

“Say you’ll let me take you out,” I husk as I start moving within you again. “I wanna show you off.”

“Shit!”

“The most gorgeous woman...all mine,” I grunt, sitting up and hooking your right leg over my shoulder, gripping your hips tightly, and slamming into your soaked pussy. “I can’t fucking get enough!”

“Baby please!” you whimper pathetically as you mindlessly claw at the bed.

So fucking perfect.

“Let me take you out,” I beg again, kissing and licking your calve.

“Andy!”

“Come on, sweet girl. Say yes!”

“Oh my God, yes! Anything you want!”

“You wanna cum for me, beautiful?”

“Mhm,” you nod helplessly, finally meeting my gaze.

“You look so pretty when you’re all blissed out, baby,” I coo against your calve, reaching down and massaging your clit with my thumb.

“Shit!”

“Come on, baby. Give me that sweet cum!”

“Fuck Andy!” you cry out, your body shuddering as you squirt hard, soaking our bed again.

“Always making a mess,” I tease as you try and regulate your breathing. “You want more, baby?”

“Please daddy.”

“I’ll take my time with you, sweetheart.”

As we entangle in one another, over and over again, it’s not lost on me just how lucky I am to have you: your patience, love, acceptance, grace, loyalty, and understanding. Everything about you is everything I’ve ever needed.

I’ll take my time and make sure that you know just how much I love you and how truly important you are to me. No one’s ever gonna make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about yourself ever again.

I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure of that.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“First Andy sounded angry over the phone, now you. What the hell is going on with everyone today?” you huff as you come to a red light.

“Laurie wants us to come over later and I just don’t have a good feeling about it,” Sarah huffs and you can hear the exhaustion in her voice.

“Talk to me, babe. What’s going on?”

“I’m just so fucking sick of dealing with her and her shit, and so is Jacob, but he’s not doing anything about it. So, we argue about it and I always come off as this mean bitch.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t think you’re some mean bitch, hun,” you sigh, pulling off as soon as the light turns green.

“He’s trying to be patient with her, because of everything with you and Andy, but he’s also sick of her shit. She’s been calling to cry and complain every other fucking day and I’m tired of it. I told him that I don’t want her at the wedding and he keeps saying it’s not right since she’s his mother.”

“Well babe-”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking sit here and say he has a point, because she’s the fucking worst.”

“You know how I feel about her, Sarah. Just hearing her name makes me wanna break something, but she’s also his mother. For better or worse, she’s his mother. I’m sure he wants her in the wedding photos and all that shit.”

“She doesn’t deserve it!”

“No, she doesn’t, but he’s being forced to deal with a lot at once, and at some point-”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve gotta cut him some fucking slack. I’m just fucking exhausted. It’s always something with her, then there was the while thing between you two, and now this shit. I’m trying to be strong for the both of us and it’s tiring.”

“Have you told Jacob about how you feel?”

“He knows and he feels awful, which makes me feel worse. I know he’s going through a lot, and I’m doing my best not to be a bitch, but I’m so fucking tired of Laurie and her shit. I have a feeling that whatever she wants to talk to Jacob about isn’t gonna be good.”

“I thought you said she wants to talk to the both of you?”

“She said she wanted to speak with Jacob, but Jacob said that whatever she has to say, she can say it to the both of us. I don’t have much say in it.”

“Well, I’m at Andy’s job now. Text or call me after and tell me how it goes. Also, your bachelorette weekend is in two weeks, you’ve got this.”

“I know, I know. Deep breaths. Tell me how it goes with your night and shinning armor.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how that goes,” you mumble, already upset because Andy was very obviously pissed off when you were on the phone with him earlier. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she sighs before hanging up.

You take a deep breath as you look up at the building where the love of your life works and takes a deep breath. Since he took you out almost three weeks ago, you’ve been feeling more secure in the relationship. Once again feeling like everything is truly happening.

He took you to Davio’s Northern Italian Steakhouse (you left Buttons with Sarah and Jake), and Andy couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He was constantly reaching for your hand, telling you how beautiful you look, and making you laugh like a teenager in love for the first time. Yes, he’d told you a million times (and he’ll probably tell you a million more times) that he’s not ashamed of you or the relationship, but after everything that had happened and you hiding yourself away, it was nice to have a fresh reminder.

However, with that being said, they’re still parts of his life that still make you feel small. His job being one of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Duffy greets you with a smile as you approach Andy’s office.”

“Hi! I’m sorry, I can come back-”

“No, we’re finished here. You both enjoy your weekend,” she smiles at you before nodding towards Andy.

You stand aside to let her out and close the door gently behind her, before turning your attention back to Andy, who has the look of pure rage in his eyes. Oh God, he’s probably going to be carrying you out of here.

“What’s wrong, daddy?” you question, leaning against the door.

“Come here, sweet girl.”

“Daddy-”

“You’re gonna wanna be a good girl for me today, sweetheart. Now, come here,” he growls and it’s enough to send you over the edge. You make your way over to one of the chairs when Andy sighs in disappointment. “You know where daddy wants you.”

“We can’t here!”

“Whose name is on the door?”

“Yours, daddy.”

“So, that means this is my office, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“So, bring your ass over here and sit on my desk. Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns ominously, as he starts to undo his belt buckle.

You bite your bottom lip to suppress a moan, but do as your told.

“Tell me what happened, daddy.”

“I will after I’ve gotten rid of some of my stress. Lift up your skirt for me.”

“Daddy-”

“Now, sweet girl, you’re gonna make me punish you. Is that what you want?”

When you don’t answer he smirks and shakes his head as he unzips is his pants.

“Of course you wanna be treated like a whore, cause you’re daddy’s little dumb whore, aren’t you?”

“Mhm” you nod, as he wraps his hand around your throat.

“Maybe tonight, if you start being a good girl right now,” he teases before tightening his grip on your throat. “Now, lift up your fucking skirt.”

You moan as you clench around nothing, adjusting yourself a little so you can lift up your skirt.

“No panties?”

“Took...took them off in the car. Wanted to surprise you when we got home!”

“Shh, sweet girl,” he chuckles, using his index finger to to tease your clit, “such a sweet little thing. Your pussy is already soaked, making a mess all over my calendar.”

“I’m sorry, daddy!” you whine softly.

“It’s okay, baby. Gonna clean up this perfect little pussy before I fucking destroy it,” he promises as he gets on his knees.

“Daddy-”

“So wet for me,” he murmurers before licking your clit.

“Daddy!”

“Be quiet,” he demands before sucking on your clit.

You let out a silent gasp, tightening your grip on his desk tight, knowing that if you grind your pussy against his face, you both will be found out in a second. You force your gaze on him, getting lost in the intense and lustful focus he has on you, before you grab your phone (which has all but fallen out of your pocket) and take a picture of him in the compromising position. Yeah, it’s usually him holding the camera, but him eating you out on his desk? You definitely wanna capture this moment. He’s just about to slide two fingers into your aching cunt when there’s a knock on his door.

Fuck.

“Andy?”

“Hey Lynn, can’t really talk right now, I’m pretty busy right now,” he smirks at you as he stands up, easily sliding his two fingers into you.

You bite your lip to suppress a moan and clench your eyes shut for a moment.

“Can it wait till Monday?” he asks, picking up his pace.

“I spoke to Neal and-”

“Yeah, I’d rather wait to talk about that,” he grunts as he starts fucking you faster with his fingers.

Oh God, what the hell happened?

“Just wanted to check in. We can talk about it on Monday. You’ve done more than enough work today, you can head home.”

“Soon, just a little bit more to finish up,” he smirks at you, adding another finger and you take a deep breath as your eyes go wide. You lull your head back and he snaps his fingers at you, forcing your attention back on him.

“Just don’t overwork yourself,” she sighs, “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Sounds good, Lynn. Have a great weekend, I know I will,” he smiles as you squirt on his fingers, scratching up the pristine wood you were already in the middle of damaging.

Andrew Fucking Barber is a menace.

“Give Y/N my best,” Lynn calls before her footsteps start to retreat.

“Will do,” Andy promises as fucks you through your high. “You did so good, sweet girl,” he praises softly. “You want daddy to fuck you stupid like the little slut you are?”

“Please!” you cry with a whisper.

“So desperate already?”

“Daddy please!”

“Turn around and lean against my desk. Gonna destroy this little fuck hole.”

“Daddy!”

“Do as I said!” he demands, slapping your clit.

Thank God tomorrow is Saturday.

“Daddy...please! Just need-”

“Daddy knows what you need,” he taunts as you hear his pants fall to the floor, “and he’s gonna give it to you,” he promises as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh my God!”

“Such a good little girl!” he husks against the shell of your ear as he starts fucking you hard and fast.

“Holy fuck!”

“Anyone could walk into this room right now and you wouldn’t care, would you?”

“N-no, daddy!N Fuck me in front of anyone, I don’t care!”

“I’m so fucking tempted to rip that fucking blouse open....take that bra off and walk you out...just like that. You want that?”

“Sh...show them who I belong to, daddy!”

“Such a good little slut! Want me to fill this tight little cunt?”

“Please! Always...want to be full of you!”

“The way you’re clenching...shit! Cum for me now!”

“Jesus, daddy!” you whimper as you squirt hard, making a mess on his pants and the floor.

You’re more than sure Andy’s about to cum, but he stops short before pulling out, “Daddy wants to bring you off one more time, sweet girl,” he chuckles as he takes a seat in his chair.

“Daddy-”

“Turn around and unbutton that blouse for daddy,” he demands as he strokes himself.

Yeah, if you two keep it up you’re bound to get caught, but if he doesn’t give a damn, why should you? You quickly straddle him and slowly unbutton your blouse while holding his heated gaze.

“Unhook the front clasp, baby. Let daddy see you,” he encourages as his hands explore your torso. He groans as soon as your tits are exposed to him, “you are so fucking gorgeous,” he mumbles against one your nipples, before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it, massaging it with his tongue while his hand massages your other one.

“Daddy,” you softly moan, lulling your head back as you grip his shoulders and start to grind yourself against him.

He wraps his free arm around your waist and grips you close, and you somewhere through all the haze in your mind, you wonder how he’s able to make you feel so good by doing so little.

It’s not lost on you that things need to be discussed, but you’ve been with Andy long enough to know better. No, he’ll never take his anger out on you, but depending on what it is he’s angry about, he needs to do something before talking about it or he’ll end up yelling about it and will feel like shit about it later.

Usually, he’ll go for a run or a swim, but for him to choose fucking you in his office...

It’s gotta be pretty fucking bad.

“You’re all I need,” he breathes after releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, “all I’ve ever needed.”

“Please!”

“Shh sweet girl, I’m gonna take care of you,” he coos, releasing your other tit and stroking himself, “ gonna fill you up till you’re leaking with my cum for days,” he promises as he aligns himself with your entrance before guiding you down.

“Fuck!”

“Gotta keep quiet, sweet girl,” he groans as you move against him, “cause your daddy’s good girl, right?”

“Y-yes,” you sob quietly, feeling your core tighten again, “only for you!”

“Shit! Come on, baby! Bring daddy off!” he husks, looking up at you as his hands grip your hips tight, and you can tell he’s using all of his energy to restrain himself from taking it over.

“I love you...love you so much! Gonna fuckin’...shit!”

“Jesus Y/N!” he growls into your chest as he fills you to the brim.

“Daddy!” you cry out softly, digging your nails into his shoulders as another orgasm fogs up your mind and leaves you in a euphoric high.

You’re more than sure you’ve made a mess, again, but you don’t care. Nothing matters besides Andy and how he feels.

“What’s...what’s wrong, baby? What happened?” you breathe, trying to come down from your high.

“Laurie,” is all he says as he peppers soft kisses all along your chest.

“Oh God, what happened this time?”

“She and Neal have started dating. Apparently, its been an on and off thing for a while.”

“Are you fucking shitting me?!”

“I don’t even care that shes opening her legs for him, but she’s not even doing it because she actually cares, it’s just to get back at me. She’s not even thinking about how upset it’ll make Jacob. After everything that happened with the case, the hell Neal went out of his way to put Jacob through, she goes and does this shit.”

“Fuck!”

“I spoke to Sarah before coming here and she said that Laurie wants to talk to them tonight.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Jacob is gonna lose his shit.”

“We gotta get home,” Andy sighs, leaning his head against your chest. “How did I fuck up so badly?”

“Hey,” you press softly, using your forefinger to softly force his gaze on you, “this isn’t on you.”

“I should’ve left her in college-”

“Stop it, Andy. You were in love and you thought she’d change. She made you believe that she would. Her being a vicious piece of shit is not on you. You don’t make her act the way she does, she’s just selfish and thinks everyone owes her. You did the best you could, with both her and Jacob, this isn’t on you.”

“Do you know how much I love you?”

“I think I have an idea,” you smirk as you dip down and kiss him.

You both take your time getting yourselves together, before walking out of his office hand in hand. When you both reach your car, he pins you against it and kisses you passionately.

“When we get home,” you giggle when you two break apart.

“I’ll be right behind you,” he smiles before walking towards his car.

Yes, you’re extremely angry, but Andy fucking Barber...he just makes you feel so damn loved.

Your drive home is easy and light, and for a moment, you relax just a bit.

Then your phone goes off the second your arrive home.

“SHE CAN’T COME TO THE FUCKING WEDDING!” Sarah screams as soon as you answer the phone.

Snap back to reality.

“Sarah, I know how frustrated you are, but please-”

“JACOB IS IN A FULL BLOWN RAGE RIGHT NOW! FUCKING NEAL OF ALL PEOPLE?!”

“I know I know,” you sigh as you get out of your car, getting met with a confused look on Andy’s face. “Andy told me and-”

“I’M FUCKING DONE, Y/N!” Sarah screams as you unlock the door, getting greeted by a very excited Buttons. “THEN SHE HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO CRY!”

“Sarah-”

“I fucking mean it, Y/N! I’m fucking DONE with that bitch!”

You put your phone on speaker before responding with, “how’s Jacob?”

“Do you not hear the fucking glass breaking in the background?!”

“Jesus,” you mutter while Andy drops his briefcase and lets out a frustrated.

“Sarah, I’m gonna change and I’ll head over.”

“Mr. Barber, I don’t know-”

“I’ll deal with him, don’t worry. I’ll be there in 20.”

“Yeah okay, I’ll let him know,” she sighs before hanging up.

“You should’ve let me beat her ass,” you mutter, sitting down and letting Buttons get comfortable in your lap.

“Yeah, I really fucking should have,” he mutters, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Let me get ready. Do you want me to pick up something on my way home?”

“Honestly, I’m not even hungry at this point. Maybe we’ll order something when you get back.”

Andy only nods before rushing up the steps, leaving you on the floor with Buttons, who is giving you a quizzical look.

“I bet you have to pee, don’t you?” you smirk and he barks. When all he does is bark, you chuckle before placing him on the ground, “I thought so. Lets go.”

You get up and on your way outside, you grab a glass and a bottle of whiskey, pouring yourself a small drink before letting both you and Buttons out and grabbing his ball. You toss it around for about five minutes before you hear Andy come outside.

“Save some for me,” he asks, noticing the glass on the table and you scoff. “I should be home in about an hour.”

“Do you want me to come with you? We can bring Buttons, I’m sure he would be a great help.”

“No, I know that you’re tired of dealing Laurie and-”

“That’s not what I asked you, baby. Do you want me to come with you?”

Andy hesitates before meeting your gaze, “I do, but you don’t-”

“C’mon Buttons! Inside!” you call over your shoulder before turning your attention back to Andy, “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.’

Rushing up the steps, you’re quick to pull off your blouse, skirt, shoes, and put on some panties. You put on a random pair of sweatpants and grab on of Andy’s ‘Nirvana’ t-shirts before making your way downstairs. You say nothing as you get Button’s leash on, smiling to yourself as Andy watches you with the biggest smile on his face.

“Lets go,” you smile at him.

Ever since the first car ride home, Buttons cries if he can’t sit in your lap. Yeah, he’s gotten a bit bigger, but you’re a sucker that just can’t say no. The entire drive to Jacob and Sarah’s, you’re blasting Soundgarden songs and singing along horribly, while Buttons howls along with you sounding equally as bad. Andy can’t even find it in himself to get annoyed, he just laughs and eventually starts singing along with you.

By the time Andy pulls up to Jacob and Sarah’s place, you’d almost forgotten how serious the situation you two are walking into it, but Andy’s heavy sigh brings you back to reality.

You only have to knock once before the door swings open.

“Oh, thank God! You brought Buttons,” Sarah smiles with a sigh of relief as she steps aside to let the three of you in. “I cleaned up the glass, so feel free to take your shoes off.”

“Babe, I’m just gonna order...hey,” Jacob stops short at the sight of you and Andy.

“Heard you had a bit of a melt down,” you mutter, kicking off your slippers.

“Can you blame me?”

“You’re the one who held me back,” you shrug and Jacob lets out a small laugh. “You can’t go off the handle like that.”

“Fucking Neal of all people?”

“I’m not saying it’s not infuriating, and I know I need to work on my temper too, but c’mon Jake.”

“It’s not like I meant to just start throwing shit, Y/N. She just...God, you should’ve fucking been here,” he groans, plopping down on one of their sofa chairs.

“What happened, bud?” Andy sighs, sitting on the arm of their sofa, while Buttons makes his way over to Jacob.

“She came over and kept trying to get Sarah to go into the bedroom, so I was already annoyed. Once we settled on the fact that Sarah was going to hear whatever the hell she had to say, she started off by saying that even though we’ve had rough patches, she’s still my mother and that she loves. She then decided to follow that up with that if I can be happy for you and Y/N, I should be able to be happy for her too.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“She then proceeded to tell me about how shes been seeing Neal on and off for a while, and that she’s only telling me now because it’s getting serious. She understands that things have happened in the past, but if she’s able to give him a fair shot, I should at least be willing to try. That’s when Sarah walked out of the room.”

“I was ready to break her damn nose,” Sarah mutters, giving both you and Andy a glass of whiskey, before settling onto the floor next to Buttons who’s more than happy for the new company.

“So, when I don’t say anything, she keeps trying to explain herself. Then, I just kind of snapped. I asked her how she can compare Neal to Y/N when Y/N has never done anything to hurt me or make my life harder, and she calmly replied saying that she broke up our family. That’s when I kind of blacked out and that’s when Sarah came back in,” Jacob sighs, clearly ashamed with his actions.

“It’s not like I was any better. I just started screaming at her. I called her things and said shit I shouldn’t have, and she responded by telling me that Jacob shouldn’t be marrying someone who doesn’t respect his mother to which I said that I would respect his mother if she was respectable. That’s when the tears came and she was asking how we could accept you two but betray her, and I kicked her out.”

“Fuck,” you sigh, downing your drink while was already back in the kitchen and making himself another.

“I’m guessing Neal told you?” Sarah asks Andy softly.

“Yeah, he told me. He was scared shitless, so I have to give him some respect for at least telling me and not sending Laurie. Then again, Laurie probably made him do it. He told me that he wants to upfront with me and he doesn’t want things to be anymore awkward than they already are. I just nodded and thanked him for telling me before kindly asking him to leave.”

“Well, this is one hell of a Friday,” you mutter, running a hand through your hair. “Jake-”

“Don’t you fucking say it, Y/N. Just don’t.”

“She’s not lashing out at you. She’s lashing out at Andy. She’s out at both Andy and myself.”

“It’s not like she��s taking me into consideration!”

“I never said that she’s handling any of this well.”

“Why aren’t you-”

“I’m fucking furious, Jacob. Just because I’m not raging out, doesn’t mean I don’t wanna break her fucking nose. However, I can’t keep letting her win. I can’t keep getting in a rage over the petty and stupid shit that she does, which is why I’m telling you both,” you say giving Sarah a quick glance, “not to fly off the handle here. Everything she’s doing at this point is because she wants to get a rise out of Andy and/or myself. If you guys respond in a negative way, she’s just gonna continue to spin this story about how she’s some saint whose been kicked out of her family. If you both truly don’t want her at the wedding, then whatever. It’s your wedding and you guys do what you want, but don’t keep reacting. There’s no point and it’s a waste of time. You don’t wanna talk to her anymore? Just don’t respond to her calls or texts anymore. You don’t wanna see her on holidays or birthdays? Just don’t get. You can respond to her without actually responding to her. It’s just not worth it and she’ll only keep winning,” you scowl, leaning back into the sofa.

“When did you become so mature?” Sarah scoffs as you flip her off.

“I’m just too old and too tired. I’ve been fighting with the people of this stupid town for too damn long, and I don’t feel like doing it anymore.”

“Dad,” Jacob starts softly, “are you okay?”

“Honestly? No, not really. The issues your mother and I have are between her and I, so why she keeps letting it bleed out all over the rest of you...I’ll never really understand. However, Y/N is right. Snapping at and blacking out on her will only make it worse. Plus, I know she doesn’t act like it, but she truly does love you. She’s your mother and she’s just going through a hard time right now.”

“How are you so calm about all of this?”

“I’ve been dating Y/N for too long,” he mutter as you burst out laughing, laying your head on his arm after he resumes his seat on the arm of the sofa.

Jacob shakes his head before smiling at the both of you, “I’m happy you two have each other.”

“Yeah?” you smile.

“Yeah.”

You and Andy stay for a few hours, happy to watch Sarah and Jacob play around with Buttons for a bit and work through their anger and frustrations while also talking to them about the wedding and what they’ve been up to, before deciding to call it a day. Between the stress “relieving session” in Andy’s office, and the mental strength it took to not call Laurie and curse her out, you’re ready to rest up and spend quality with Andy and your fur baby.

The ride back home is quiet, but comfortable and Buttons gives you kisses ever so often. Andy stays focused on the road, but every once in a while he’ll grab your hand, and press a soft kiss to it. When he pulls up to the house, he does it one more time and you feel a calmness wash over you. Something is telling you that it may all be okay after all.

No. Something is telling you that it will all be okay.

“Pick a movie and I’ll order dinner,” Andy says as you lay down on the sofa with Buttons and he kicks off his shoes.

“And what exactly are we having?”

“Junk. We’ve earned it.”

“Andrew Steven Barber, are you about to eat a cheeseburger in front of me? It’s been so long!”

“Don’t you dare get used to it.”

“I would never imagine such a thing,” you smirk as he flips you off.

Soon enough, Andy joins both you and Buttons on the sofa and pulls you onto his lap, pressing soft kisses into your hair as Buttons settles into your lap.

In the last few weeks, no matter how chaotic or hectic the days have been, you always end them on the best note, and it always feels like heaven. Having Andy in your life was already better than you imagined, but now that you two have Buttons it feels like your own small little family.

The life you never thought you’d have, is now the dream you get to live every day. You’re finally able to let your guard down and don’t regret it at all. You life with Andy is everything you’ve wanted and more. Hell, even if he never proposes, you’ll still be happy if you two spend the rest of your lives as you are now.

However, you’d be lying if said you didn’t want one. God, the amount of times you’ve written out your name with his last name at work is embarrassing and you pray he never finds that notebook.

When the food arrives, he’s quick to gently put you down and make his way to the door, while you get up and make Buttons’ dinner. This is the routine you’ve tried to keep up since you got Buttons, because 1. he’s so occupied on his dinner he’s too busy to beg for scraps, and 2. you like eating together as a family. You walk back in with two beer bottles after bringing in Buttons’ dinner, while Andy sets up place settings for the both of you. You’re about to resume the movie when you giggle softly.

“What?”

“Nothing, its silly.”

“Tell me.”

“The night you came over for drinks after I said we shouldn’t go out...the first meal we ever made together was cheeseburger and french fries,” nyou smile at him.

Andy cups your face and kisses you passionately, “I love you so fucking much.”

“The feeling is mutual, Barber.”

“Dinner?”

“Sounds good.”

As always, Buttons finishes before the both of you and gives you puppy dogs eyes, because you’re always the one who caves. You think Andy is caught up in the movie, so you sneak Buttons one of the last few fries on your plate.

“Stop feeding him from the table,” Andy grumbles as he pulls you onto his lap.

“One fry won’t hurt,” you giggle as he kisses your temple.

“It’s gonna become a habit.”

“Only if I do it all the time.”

“You do do it all the time.”

“Do not.”

“More times than not.”

You roll your eyes before quietly responding with, “I do not.”

“You’re hopeless,” he laughs, and you giggle into his chest.

“How do we feel about tonight’s movie?”

“Well,” he starts as he readjusts you on his lap, “I’m not necessarily a fan of James Cagney’s dancing, but overall I like ‘Footlight Parade’.”

“How can you not like James Cagney’s dancing?!”

“How can you?”

“Snob,” you snort and he playfully bites your shoulder. “I think someone is ready to go to bathroom for the night.”

“Yeah bud?”

All Andy gets in return is a bark and you both laugh.

“Lets go.”

“I’ll put the dishes away while you two have your guy time outside.”

“Then bed?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. God knows its been a long enough day.”

“At least we have the weekend,” he sighs into your hair before kissing it.

You’re quick to get up and scoop up the plates while Buttons and Andy make there way to the back and outside. Just as you’re finishing up the dishes, your phone starts going off in your pocket. After drying your hands on your pants, you quickly pull it out, but scowl when you see who it is and hit ignore. A few moments later, you roll your eyes when you hear it buzz. Against your better judgement, you lean against the counter and open the text.

Momster Dearest: I don’t blame you for ignoring my call, I would have too. I know...I fucked up. I fucked up and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things, honey. I know I can’t make up for the last few years or what I said when I called you that day, but I can apologize. I can apologize and try to explain myself. I know I haven’t acted like or shown it in a while, but I do love you and I miss you so much. Please answer me.

You scowl in frustration and bite back tears as you thrust your phone back into your pocket. Why? Why can’t she just leave you alone at this point? And why does she choose today of all days to text you? Hasn’t enough happened? Now this?

“Alright, our baby boy is ready for...hey, what’s wrong?” Andy asks with alarm in his tone as he quickly makes his way over to you.

You don’t even say anything, you just hand him your phone before starting on your back into the living room and shutting everything off.

“Babe-”

“I don’t even know if I can believe her, because this isn’t the first time shes sent a text like that. It wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve had a serious talk about how shitty of a parent she is.”

“Sweetheart-”

“But she wasn’t always like this, Andy,” you sob, turning to face him, “she wasn’t always like this and I miss her. I miss my fucking mom.”

“I know you do, baby. I know,” he sighs, wrapping you in a tight hug.

Why can’t you catch a fucking break?

“It’s been a long day and we’re both tired. Lets just get ready for bed and we’ll tackle it in the morning, okay?”

Nodding, you take your hand in his and lead the way up the stairs with Buttons following close behind. As Buttons makes his way to his playroom to sleep, one of his favorite places to sleep, while you and Andy made your way into the bedroom bathroom.

Neither of you says a thing as you both undress, and Andy steps in first to get the water ready and makes sure it’s perfect before stepping aside and letting you in. You don’t say a thing at first, not sure of what to say, and Andy starts to wash your body for you.

“You don’t have to...” you trail off as you start to cry and Andy pulls you close.

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to cry, it’s alright. We’ll figure this all out.”

“I’m just so damn tired, baby.”

“I know and I don’t blame you. We’re gonna figure this all out.”

“I just want it all to be figured out at this point.”

“Don’t worry, okay? Just let yourself rest for now,” he begs softly.

You look up at him and pull him close, kissing him softly as you wrap your arms around him. The kiss starts out soft and sweet, but soon turns urgent and sensual.

“Sweetheart, we don’t have to-”

“Earlier today, you told me that if I was a good girl-”

“Honey-”

“I just want you, Andy. I always need to feel you.”

Soon enough, Andy has you pinned against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist as he fucks into you relentlessly. As you dig your nails into his back, moaning his name as he makes you feel everything you need and more, you find yourself wanting to bottle this moment. Not just because of the mind blowing sex, but because you know you’ll never need anything or anyone ever again.

Andy takes the time to find the problem and figure it out and figure you out. He doesn’t just fuck you because it’s what he wants or because you beg him. He makes sure that 1. you’re in the right state of mind, 2. that you know you don’t have to do it, and 3. that he knows how to treat you. He knows when you need him to be gentle, he understands when you need him to mean and rough, and he understands when you need him to gentle with his words but rough with his actions.

“You’re taking me so well,” he grunts, gripping your hips tight as he upthrusts into hard and fast.

After bringing you off three times in the shower, he carried you into the bedroom and laid down, telling you to take what you need from him. He left you in charge for a bit, but after you got yourself off for the third time, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Baby,” you whimper as you throw your head back, trying to move your hips with his as another orgasm builds up.

“You look so fucking beautiful, sweetheart. Do you know how much I love you?”

“Mhm!”

“Are you sure? Cause there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, honey,” he promises as he presses his thumb against your clit, making little circles and causing you to cry out in pleasure. “All I want is for you to be happy, baby. All I want is to love you!

“Baby...I need to....feels too fucking good!”

“You’re my world, Y/N! Nothing felt right until you came along!”

“I love you so fucking much!” you sob, squirting hard and making a mess all over Andy’s cock and the bed.

“Such a good girl,” he growls, filling you to the brim, gripping you tight as he tries to tries get the both of you through your euphoric highs.

Once you finally calm down, you slowly lean forward until your head is resting on Andy’s chest and his arms are wrapped around you tight, doing his best to regulate your breathing with his.

“You feel better, sweet girl?”

“Mhm,” you yawn with a nod.

“Was I too rough?”

“No baby, not at all.”

“I meant every word that I said, sweetheart.”

“I know you do, baby. I feel the same. We’re gonna figure all of this out together, just like we always have.”

“I know we will. I just got a little overwhelmed today, but I’ll be okay,” he smile up at him.

He presses a soft to your forehead and responds softly, “sleep?”

“Yes please.”

You take your time getting off of Andy, already knowing you’re gonna be a bit sore tomorrow, and he quickly makes his way to the bathroom. Ever the gentleman, he comes back with a damp wash towel and cleans up between your legs, while pepper your chest with soft and small kisses.

When all is said and done, he finally gets in and pulls you close, pressing a soft and sweet kiss to the top of your head. You’re almost asleep when you hear the door pushed open and four soft paws making their way to the bed.

“You wanna get up here, buddy? Come on,” you yawn, tapping your foot on the bed.

Buttons quickly jumps on the bed, but instead of laying at the foot of it like he usually does, he settles right between you and Andy.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Andy groans and you laugh, cuddling into the happy pup as he licks the side of your face.

“And you wanna have a kid,” you giggle.

“With you, I want everything,” he sighs in content, grabbing your hand softly as he drifts off.

With a smile on etched on your face, you quickly succumb to sleep knowing that everything is going to work out great.

For the first time in a long time, you’re not afraid of what the future holds.

“Andy, it’s your turn to let him out,” you mumble as Buttons starts to whine.

His way of letting you both know that he’s ready to go outside and start the day.

“Ten more minutes,” he groans, pulling his pillow over his head.

“If he pees in the bed, I don’t wanna hea about it.”

“You’re mean,” Andy yawns before getting up and a small smile comes to his face. You hear him dig around in his dresser before saying, “alright, bud. Lets get you outside before it’s too late.”

And with that, they’re both out the door and running down the steps.

You roll around for a bit, trying to hold on to sleep, but you know it’s a lost cause. You as you get up, fishing Andy’s band t-shirt off the ground and looking around for a pair of shorts.

At some point, you’ll be cleaning the room today.

You slowly make your way downstairs, laughing softly as you hear Andy calling for Buttons to let go of the ball, and get started on the coffee. You’ve just finished pouring both you and Andy a cup when the doorbell rings.

‘Who the hell could be here at 9am?’ you think to yourself as you make your way to the front door. “Hello, how may we...,” you trail off as you see who’s on the other side of your door.

It’s amazing how fast a good day can turn into a terrible one.

You hear paws clunking behind you followed by a growl.

Good boy.

“What do you want, Laurie?” you mutter through gritted teeth.

“I uh...I need to talk to you and Andy,” she responds with volume of a mouse.

“Hey babe, I think we should get our sweet boy...you need to leave,” Andy growls as he comes up behind you.

“Andy, please just-”

“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve,” he chuckles humorlessly. “You want me to get Jacob to talk to you, don’t you?”

“Andy, you and Y/N are the only ones he and Sarah will listen to-”

“Why the fuck should we help you, Laurie?!”

“Because you both owe me!”

“Fuck this shit,” you scoff, turning to leave, “Andy, you deal with her cause I’ll break her fucking neck. Buttons and I will be in the art room. Lets go, Button boy.”

You do your best to focus on finishing the painting in front of you, but between Buttons whining (wanting to get back to Andy), and Andy’s and Laurie’s raised voices, you can’t focus.

You look down over at the alarm clock on the desk and see that you’ve only been working on it for 15 minutes.

Fucking Laurie.

“You need to leave,” you demand as you come storming out of the room, Buttons at your heels.

“We’re not finished-”

“Yes you are! I believe I made it perfectly clear that you aren’t welcome here, and Andy doesn’t owe you shit! Nor do I for that matter! You want to pretend that you’re in love with Neal? That’s fine, you’ve never lived in reality or anywhere close to it from what I can tell, but there’s no way in fuck that you were delusional enough to believe that it wouldn’t hurt Jacob to his core. The man, who at times got pleasure out of fucking up Jacob’s life, is the man you want us all to believe you’re in real love with? Fuck you, Laurie.”

“You don’t know-”

“And just so you know, we did go over to Sarah and Jacob’s yesterday, and actually tried to plead your fucking case! Told them that you’re mad at us and and acting like this because of us! They’re fucking over it, Laurie! They’re over it and so are we! Now get the fuck off of our property!”

“You can’t-”

“Laurie, I swear this is the last time I’m gonna say it nicely. Get the fuck off of our property,” you warn in a murderously low tone.

“I won’t try and stop her this time,” Andy shrugs with his arms folded across his chest.

Laurie looks from you to him, letting a few pathetic tears fall, before finally turning and storming off towards her car.

“If she comes here again, I’m greeting her with a fist to the face,” you mutter as she drives off.

“C’mon, it’s only the beginning of the day, we can still salvage it,” Andy sighs as he closes the door.

“What did she say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbles as he makes his way into the kitchen, “do you want Bailey’s in your coffee, babe? Fuck, of course it’s cold now.”

“Baby-”

“It’s going to get you worked up and drive me insane, so why does it matter?”

“Because you’re upset,” you state plainly as you lean against the kitchen entryway.

“She just blamed it all on me. Her cheating, the trial, why she told the fucking lie...it’s my fault. I forced her into that corner and made her like this.”

“You know that’s all bullshit!”

“Yeah, I know it is,” he mutters, pouring out both cups before refilling them, “but it’s infuriating that she just...”

“I know, baby, I know,” you sigh sympathetically as you make your way over to him, “but what do you always tell me?”

“Her bullshit is her bullshit.”

“Exactly. She’s going to constantly try and spin the story to work in her favor, so the best we can do is just let her spiral. Soon enough, she’ll slip up and the truth will come out. Especially with this new stunt that she pulled.”

“I’m just tired of her getting her fucking way all the time.” He pours Bailey’s into both cups before following up with, “I’m tired of her winning all the damn time.”

“Hey, look at me,” you coo softly as gently force his attention on you, “do you love me?”

“More than anything.”

“Are you happy that we’re together?”

“More than I’ll ever be able to express.”

“Then she hasn’t won a single fucking thing,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close. “It’s you and me, babe. None of the bullshit matters. We know who’s on our side and we have each other. She hasn’t won a fucking thing.”

“I love you.”

“I think pretty highly of you too, Barber,” you smirk, standing on your tip toes and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Wanna skip the morning run and just jump into job searching?”

“I knew there was a reason you made coffee instead of grabbing our water bottles.”

“Always one step ahead of ya,” you laugh as the doorbell rings. “Oh, who the fuck is it now?” you grumble, letting go of Andy and grabbing your cup.

“I’ll answer it-”

“No no, you go calm down. I’ll handle whoever it is.”

With an aggravated sigh, you turn and make your way back to the front door, and take a sip of your coffee before opening the door.

“Jesus, what is this? ‘See everyone I can’t stand’ day?” you scowl.

“Please, I just wanna talk, okay?” your mother pleads softly.

Aren’t Saturdays supposed to be for peace and quiet?

“You’ve got twenty minutes,” you mutter, standing aside and letting her inside. “We’ll talk outside in the backyard.”

You make your way into the kitchen and grab two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

“Honey, it’s not even 10am...oh,” Andy sighs once he sees your mother behind you. “For fucks sake.”

“Yeah, I’m throwing this day out the fucking window,” you mumble as Buttons sniffs your mother’s legs.

He licks her ankle before going over to Andy and sitting besides him. At least he didn’t growl at her.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Andy whispers before kissing your forehead. “If you need me, let me know.”

You just nod before leading your mother outside and closing the screen door behind you. Pouring the both of you a drink, you take a seat across from her and you both take a sip as you look at one another.

“I can’t imagine you ask him to put on a shirt often,” your starts, nodding towards the inside.

You look over and notice that Andy is only in sweats. “I hadn’t even noticed, honestly, but you’re right. I don’t.”

“Ya know, this is the first drink I’ve had in a week.”

“Picked a hell of a time to break your streak.”

“I have a feeling this isn’t going to be easy and I need all the help I can get.”

“I would’ve gotten back to you at some point.”

“The “at some point” is why I came over. I don’t want too much time to pass-”

“Not to be a bitch, but what you want doesn’t really fucking matter, does it?”

“No, and I guess...I know this rift is my fault and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this.”

“Funny how this isn’t the first time we’ve had this talk. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt bad.”

“This isn’t the same as before, that I can promise you.”

“I know, this time you also have to make up for calling me a slut and a homewrecker. For choosing Laurie all because her little lie made you embarrassed.”

“No, I embarrassed myself and was asked all of those horrible questions at the worst possible time.”

“Well, what could you have possibly done that’s more embarrassing than anything else you’ve been doing for the last few years?”

“I slept with your father,” she finishes with a huff before downing the rest of her drink.

“Well, not only is that embarrassing but also extremely stupid,” you mutter, finishing your glass, before filling them both.

“There was a time when you would’ve told me about Andy. You would’ve told me everything that’s been going on, but you’ve been so distant these last few years, and that’s my fault. I already felt like shit for so many things, then I fucked up and slept with your father, and then to not only hear about your relationship, but to have to hear about it in such a nasty and vile way...I snapped. I knew none of it was true, but if I was dumb enough to sleep with your father...accidents happen, right? Anyway, I got out of there as quick as I could, got home and started drinking. Then, your father called because he wanted to come over and “talk”, but I just went off on him and basically said it was his fault that you turned into a whore which...it’s obviously not true. You’re the only thing we ever got right.

Anyway, he just wanted to make me happy, which is why he came over here and said all that shit he said to you and Andy, which I’m so sorry about. God, I owe Andy such an apology, I can’t believe your father threatened to hit him. I wanted apologize, honey. The second you hung up, I wanted to call you back, but I knew it wouldn’t be that simple. I’ve been trying to build the courage for a while now, but I knew I couldn’t just apologize like I’ve done in the past.”

“Mom-”

“I miss you, Y/N. Before everything went to shit, before I became a shit mother, we had a really great bond.”

“Don’t,” you sob, taking a sip of your drink. “Don’t fucking start this shit again.”

“It’s not the same as it was before. I mean it, Y/N. I know it’ll take time for you to believe me and I completely understand, but I want to be your mom again. Not someone you only talk to when it’s necessary. Both your father and I do.

“God, don’t tell me you two are back together.”

“No, our little...tryst is over. If he can’t be faithful to his little wife he has now, he’ll never be able to be faithful to me. However, we’re both your parents and even though we stopped showing it, we do love you. We’ve both been keeping tabs you. Yeah, we were hesitant about you being with Andy, scandal set aside, there’s the age difference and the fact that he’s Jacob father, we didn’t want him to just use you until he was bored. We both see your posts though, we’ve seen you two around town, and after how he stood up to your father...we’re happy for you two, Y/N. Truly happy and we want to be apart of your life. Really apart of your life. I’m not saying there won’t bumps and that he and I won’t argue, but we want to do better. We want to at least try to be somewhat of a family again.”

“ Of course you decide this when damn near thirty,” you mutter, sipping your drink and looking over at the screen door.

Buttons is just laying there looking at you and feel so bad. He just wants to hangout with his parents and it keeps not happening.

“He’s cute. His name is Buttons?”

“Yeah, Andy figured we should name him after my favorite stuffed animal.”

“He would think of something sweet like that,” she smiles to herself before looking at you, “he’s a good man, honey.”

“I know,” you smile softly at her.

“Well, I’ll get going and call your father. He was going to come, but chickened out last minute.”

“Well, he and Andy did almost have a fist fight,” you murmur, finishing your drink as your mother does the same and gets up, “we can take it slow,” you tell her softly. “I can’t...I don’t know what will happen, but I am willing to try...again.”

“I’m really happy to hear that,” she smiles, “talk to me when you’re ready.”

All you do is nod as she leaves, leaving the door open for Buttons to run out and jump into your lap. Yes, in theory he is still a puppy, but his size is ahead of him.

“That seems like it went well,” Andy smiles as he occupies the seat next to you, and you just shrug. “You didn’t scream and you didn’t kick her out. That’s a start.”

“She wants to try again...again.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“Part of me feels like it’s bullshit, but at the same time, she’s my mom. She wasn’t always a fucking mess, so maybe this time will be different. I keep wanting to believe it, but she always lets me down. They both always let me down.”

“You don’t owe anyone anything, sweetheart.”

“I can’t keep telling people to give those they truly love and care about second chances, and then not do it myself.”

“You’ve given them way more than second chances, baby. It’s okay if you’ve run out of chances to give them.”

“Yeah,” you shrug before taking a sip of your drink.

“Hun-”

“If they fuck it up this time, I’m done, really done. I can’t keep doing this. I’m so tired of being angry all the time. I’m tired of arguing with this town, tired of arguing with Laurie, and I’m tired of arguing with my parents. For once in my life, I’m so in love and happy and I just want to live in that. I want us to be happy because we deserve it. We haven’t done anything wrong and I’m tired of made to feel like we did. If they can’t fucking get it right this time, then they’re out,” you sob with a shrug before finishing off your drink and pouring another.

Andy’s thoughtful before smiles at you and says, “you know what we haven’t done in a while?”

“Hm? What?”

“We haven’t had a lazy day. No job search today, no exercising, no laundry, no cleaning, lets just be lazy. We’ll play with Buttons, we’ll drink, we’ll dance around-”

“Andy, we don’t have to do this because I’m-”

“We both need it. It’s been a hell of a day and it’s not even 11:30am. I don’t even think it’s 11am,” he laughs. “We keep going from one battle to another, and we never take a break. After the wedding, we’ll take a real break. We’ll go on a vacation, the three of us, and take some time to just recuperate.”

“Andy-”

“It’ll be good for us, babe. Just trust me,” he smiles at you sincerely.

So, for the rest of the day, you and Andy indulge in all of the things that make you both happy. From board games to video games, karaoke to rediscovering your love for albums that both forgot about, playing with Buttons to playing out in the backyard, and going back and forth between watching each other’s favorite movies, you and Andy do everything you’ve both been longing to do for a while but just haven’t had a chance to.

At around 2am, you both throw in the towel, falling asleep on the sofa while ‘Mr. Smith Goes To Washington’ plays softly in the background, while Buttons rests peacefully in his dog bed that’s setup right next to the sofa.

As you dream, you dream of the life that you hope you’ll have. You dream of a life where Andy is by your side every step of the day.

The months leading up to the wedding are some of the most stressful months you’ve ever experienced. Sarah’s bridesmaids are some of the most difficult women to deal with (and it doesn’t help that you went to high school with three of them), Laurie won’t stop calling and trying to get you and Andy to speak to Jacob on her behalf, Jacob has a breakdown over something every week and has attempted to change the venue twice, Sarah falls in love with a dress then falls out of love with it and you seem to be the only one who knows how to deal with her, you and Andy’s time together seems to get cut down in half, Buttons is irritable because so many people are over all the time, your parents keep trying to set up family dinner dates, and you’ve almost quit your job four times.

You can’t even catch a break on Christmas, because Sarah and Jake (and Sarah’s parents) want to have dinner at your place since it’s your first official Christmas as a real couple. You both know that Sarah and Jacob are just trying to show you both support, but you just want to have at least a day together. However, you both remember that you lied about the relationship for far too long (and the way Jacob found out), so guilt has you both agreeing to it.

The days goes off well enough, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have fun, but the day leaves you both spent and the special night you both planned ends with you both knocked out in bed, cuddling each other.

It’s not even the fact that you can’t spend intimate alone time together, you just miss your boyfriend. You never expected a wedding so small to take up so much time and energy, but feels as if there’s almost something new every day. Sure, you can both lie and say you’re too busy (which really isn’t a lie since Andy is in over his head at work), but Jacob is Andy’s son and your best friend, and Sarah is your best friend. You can’t just bail because you’re tired of talking about linen patterns, and flowers, and telling Sarah that she looks amazing in her dress.

You’ve lost count of how many times Jacob has come over at 2 in the morning to talk to Andy about whatever crisis he’s having, and you get reeled into helping. The only reason you haven’t completely lost your mind is because Andy keeps promising you an uninterrupted trip, and he keeps finding small ways to surprise you with sweet gifts.

He has flowers delivered to your job, hides sweet notes in your lunchbox, has your favorite dinners delivered when he’s gonna be late, and he takes Buttons out on the mornings when you just need “five more minutes”. In return, you do your best to meet him halfway.

On the nights that he has dinner delivered, you make something and wrap it all up, and eat dinner with him in his office. When there’s no time to make lunch, you have his favorite lunch sent to him, you make sure to have the house as neat as possible, you don’t make a fuss when he calls you and tells you that he needs to stop off at Jacob’s to help with whatever, and you take Buttons out on his nighttime walks when gets home and is visibly exhausted.

No, it hasn’t been picture perfect, but you’re both trying and that what makes you feel so safe and secure. At first, you were sure that the lack of sex would cause tension, because no matter what that, fear is always there. Yes, there were times that tensions were high because you two didn’t seem to have time for anything more than quickies, but you two always found a way to talk. Whether he needed to go for a run first, or you needed to take a walk, you two still always resolve whatever the issue is before you two went to sleep.

That was promise you two made to another when you moved in together; no matter how long it takes, you two will always work things out.

“There you are,” Jacob smiles, pulling you out of your thoughts as he sits next to you on the front steps of Sarah’s parents house. “Can you believe the wedding is tomorrow?”

“Not in the slightest,” you scoff, taking a sip of your Jack and coke.

“Listen, I know Sarah and I kinda lost it on you guys, and I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t know, I think it just hit us at the same time that we were taking this giant step. It’s not like we’re scared or anything, but we’ve been together for so long and have been through so much...I don’t wanna end up like my parents and she doesn’t want me to get tired of her.”

“It’s no problem at all, you know there’s nothing Andy and I wouldn’t do for you. You and Sarah aren’t going to end up like your parents, Jake. What happened between your parents isn’t going to happen because...it just won’t.”

“You can shit talk my mother, it’s fine,” he chuckles, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

“When did this start up?”

“After my mother told me that she’s fucking Neal Logiudice.”

“Yet, you still caved and invited her.”

“Only because I feel an obligation. I’ve always pictured both my parents at my wedding, and yeah I’m furious, I still want her there. She knows not to bring Neal though. I told her that if he shows up, she’s out.”

“Well look at you.”

“Yeah, I can’t afford to make excuses for her anymore. I’ve picked up another bad habit-”

“Another?”

“I don’t always talk to Sarah about what’s bothering me, and that’s why she’s afraid that I’ll get sick of her. I went from telling her everything to being moody and not explaining why.”

“Why don’t you tell her?”

“It gets exhausting. I’ve been complaining about my mother to her since Ben’s trial. Coming home and complaining about the same shit you’ve been complaining for years...I know that it’s my fault because I allow my mother to piss me off, but still. I can only bitch so much until I feel like I’m the one pushing her away.”

“Jacob, coming from the queen of bitching about parents, you’re fine. You’re with someone who loves you all of the things that come along with you. She’s been with you for so long and you two have been through so much, you know she wouldn’t stick around if she didn’t mean it.”

“I know I know, I just...I wanna get this right. I wanna have forever with her.”

“And you will. Both of you just need to take a deep breath and remember you two are all that matters. As long as you two have each other, love each other, and hold on to that love at all times, you two will be fine,” you reassure him before taking a long sip of your drink.

“Thank God my dad got it right,” he chuckles before taking another drag from his cigarette.

“What the hell does that mean?” you laugh.

“You’re just...you’re perfect for him. Hes always needed someone like you and I was scared he’d end up with someone who would take advantage him. I think that’s why I backtracked and wanted him to get back with my mother, even though I knew it would be bad in the end. You know how he is, that’s why you fell in love with him, and I’m really glad that you two found each other.”

“I think...I truly think that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me since you found out your dad and I are together.”

“In my defense, it does take some getting used to,” he mutters and you roll your eyes. “He loves you so much. I don’t think he’s ever loved anyone as much, not even my mom.”

“You know you outrank me.”

“I outrank everyone cause I’m his son. It doesn’t count.”

“Jake-”

“He wouldn’t stop talking about you during my bachelor party,” he chuckles, finishing up his cigarette. “He kept saying that he misses you and can’t wait to take you away, you’re the best cook and how thoughtful you are...you’re the best pet parent hes ever known,” he sighs. “He’s head over heels for you, Y/N, and I know you feel the same about him. I’m really happy for the both of you,” he smiles at you.

“Hey,” comes the soft voice of the last person you want to hear from.

“This is clearly for you so-”

“Actually, I uh...I wanna speak to you,” Laurie softly interrupts, “alone.”

You cock your eyebrow before downing the rest of your drink, “Jake, would you mind grabbing me another?”

“Y/N, are you sure?”

“I won’t kill your mother the day before your wedding. That would just be rude,” you smile at him sarcastically.

Jacob says nothing as he shakes his head and grabs your cup, “what was it?”

“Jack and coke. Heavy on the Jack please.”

“You got it,” he smiles, softly kissing the top of your head before making his way back inside.

Neither of you says a word to one another. Laurie’s picking at her fingers and you’re bouncing your leg up and down.

Great talk.

“I uh...I can’t seem to make anyone hate you,” she starts softly and you roll your eyes.

“Awh, come on, Laurie! You got the whole town to hate me, I think that’s a good amount of people.”

“I meant anyone in my family, but they all sure as shit hate me.”

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to feel bad for you, Laurie?”

“No, and I would never expect you to. You shouldn’t. It’s not like I forgive you-”

“Forgive me for what?!”

“You’re not 100% innocent in all of this-”

“Laurie, by the time Andy started doing anything physical, he’d been begging you for a divorce. When we started our friendship,” Laurie scoffs and rolls her eyes, “it started out as a friendship, Laurie. At this point, I don’t really give a fuck what you think.”

“You could’ve stayed away!”

“And you could’ve kept your legs shut!”

“That’s none of your-”

“Laurie, don’t you dare fucking tell me how it’s not my business! You had no business telling that lie! You had no business giving my mother my fucking address! You had no business coming to my apartment and telling me to stay away from a man that you cheated on, again!”

“Well, it doesn’t seem like it matters now, does it?”

“Of course it doesn’t matter to you. Jacob is still inviting you to the wedding and Andy will never be as cruel to you as you deserve, so no. You don’t care.”

“Spare me your bullshit! I know you lied to Jacob about-”

“Lets not fucking sit here and pretend we’re the fucking same, Laurie! Andy and I lied because we were trying to figure out the best way to tell him and not hurt him! You lied because you’re a selfish bitch! You didn’t just lie to Jacob, you lied to Andy too.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand-”

“I don’t need to understand, Laurie! What you did was fucked and you know it. Somewhere inside, you know it and all this shit you’re trying to pull won’t change a fucking thing! You put yourself in your own personal hell.”

“Listen, we’re never going to see eye to eye on this-”

“You got that right,” you mutter, wishing Jacob would hurry up with your drink.

“I’m just asking...I know we’re going through a hard time right now, but please don’t turn Jacob away from me, okay? He hangs on every word you say and I know-”

“Laurie, it was never my intention for anyone to hate you. I tried to get Andy to work things out, I’ve tried to get Jacob to talk to you, and even after all the hell you’ve put me through, I haven’t said a negative word to anyone besides those close to me. I didn’t start this war, you did.”

Once again, you both just look at each other and you can tell that this is the most you two are ever going to agree on anything.

Which really isn’t saying much of anything.

“Is everything okay out here?” Andy asks, voice authoritative as walks down a few steps before sitting next to you, handing you your drink.

“As good as its gonna get,” you mutter, grabbing your drink and taking a sip of it.

“You should go and see Jacob,” Andy sighs as he looks at Laurie, and you can tell that he’s just as drained as you.

“He sent you back out here-”

“He didn’t send me anywhere. I volunteered as soon as he told met that you two were outside alone together. You’re his mother and he invited you to the wedding after all the shit you pulled. Go in there and show him you want to be apart of it. Show him you want to be apart of his life,” he practically pleads as he takes your hand in his.

Laurie looks from you to Andy before rolling her eyes and making her way inside.

“I miss you,” Andy sighs once he hears the door close behind the both of you and you lay your head on his shoulder. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. In fact, if I remember correctly, you’re my boyfriend...right?”

“After the wedding-”

“I know, baby. I know,” you smile at him. “Where are you whisking me away to anyway?”

“Someplace you’ve always wanted to go.”

“Andy-”

“You already put in $250 for it,”

“Knowing you, that’ll amount to nothing.”

“The three of us will have fun. Besides, Lynn called in a few favors and it won’t be as expensive as you think.”

“Which means it’ll still be expensive.”

“Can you please just let me spoil you?”

“You always do,” you giggle before kissing the crook of his neck, “thank you, Andy.”

“Hm? For what?”

“It’s been a crazy couple of months and you’ve been so damn patient-”

“There’s no need to thank me for being a decent partner.”

“You’ve been so much more than decent.”

“It helps when you’re with someone who meets you half way.”

“I’d do anything for you. I love you.”

“And I love you,” he chuckles, kissing the top of your head. “What are the chances we can sneak out of here and-”

“There you two are!” Sarah beams, coming outside. “My parents wanna take pictures and won’t start without you two. Please, they’re driving me insane!”

“I don’t think we’re gonna be able to sneak anywhere,” you chuckle, the second Sarah is back inside.

“The wedding is tomorrow, the wedding is tomorrow,” he repeats as you get up.

“Come on, father of the year.”

“Yeah yeah.”

The rest of the rehearsal dinner goes off like a dream, and you force yourself not to cry when Jacob invites you to take pictures with the rest of the family; finally feeling like you’re accepted. While Sarah and Jacob make a small speech to thank everyone for coming and for being apart of their special day tomorrow, Andy pulls you down onto his lap and kisses the crook of your neck.

“Thank you, I love you,” he whispers before kissing you again.

Everything finally feels as it should. All of the hell you two have gone through, the tears you’ve shed, and all the pain you’ve felt in your heart have been worth it. Because Jacob and Sarah want to keep to tradition, Jake sleeps at you and Andy’s place, while you stay with Sarah. She keeps you up (along with multiple bottle of champagne), telling you how afraid she is of fucking everything up and that Jacob will leave her, but after a few sing-a-long and poorly put together dance battles, you convince her that everything is going to be okay and that she just needs rest.

You’re almost asleep when you hear your phone buzz.

My Heart: I know you’re gonna look beautiful tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you. I love you so much and I know our vacation is gonna be amazing. I love you so much and I miss you. Counting down the seconds till I can see you again.

As you drift off to sleep, you fall asleep knowing that everything you feel is reciprocated by Andy. The searching and crying is finally over.

You’ve found your only one.

“Why aren’t you partying with the rest of us?!” Sarah drunkenly yells as she reaches the head table.

“I will in a moment,” you laugh before finishing off your drink, “my feet just hurt.”

“Bullshit! I may be drunk, but I know when my best friend is sad! Talk to me!” she pleads as she rounds the table and takes a seat next to you.

“Sarah, it’s your wedding and I’m fi-”

“None of that, what’s going on? Who do I have to hurt?” she asks as she beckons a waiter with a tray of drinks over.

“No one,” you laugh, thanking the waiter with a nod as you grab a drink, “this is all just really nice.”

“And that has you feeling sad?”

“No! No, not at all! I just...it’s really not a big deal.”

“Y/N, you’ve been off all day, what’s going on?”

She isn’t wrong.

A sense of dread filled you the second you woke up. Maybe not dread...depression? You aren’t one hundred percent sure, but you know you’ve been upset from the moment you hit the snooze button on your phone.

Its not that you weren’t excited for Sarah and Jacob, but you felt a sense of...jealousy? Yeah, jealousy feels like a good word. Not because you want Jacob for yourself, but because you want to be married to Andy and you feel as if it’ll never happen.

Yeah, as the day went on and he saw you in your dress, Andy looked as if he was completely dumbfounded and it made you giggle a little. After all this time, it’s still so hard to believe that you can make Andy go weak in the knees. He watched you walk down the isle, he took all the family photos with you at his side, and hes done his best to keep you at his side, but you still can’t help but feel like...

“I’ll never have this,” you sigh before taking a sip of your drink. “Andy has been through this once before and got his heart broken in the worst way-”

“But hes found you and I think that’s worth doing this all over again.”

“In theory, it’s nice, but I truly can’t see him wanting to do this whole song and dance over again.”

“It won’t be a “song and dance”, babe. He’s so in love with you and you don’t even see it. It amazes me how much you don’t understand or see how much he loves and needs you.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you hear Jacob’s voice interrupting in the speakers, “I’m just drunk enough that I can do this, but not drunk enough that I’ll forget. Y/N, you know what our song is and I promised you, on graduation day of high school-”

“Oh God,” you groan into the palm of your hand as Sarah looks from you to him.

“We swore that if I ever got married, we’d dance to this song, because it’s our anthem.”

“Jacob...please,” you cry out as the rest of the guests erupt into a fit of confused laughter.

“We’re keeping this pact, so you may as well get up off your ass,” Jacob laughs as ‘I’m Alright’ by Kenny Loggins starts playing.

“I don’t want to,” you groan.

“I don’t care, I’ve already made the announcement, lets go,” he laughs as he starts dancing to the song.

Sarah laughs as she gets you up and out onto the dance floor, and while dancing with Jacob makes you relax a little, it’s not enough to take your mind off of marrying Andy completely.

It’s not lost on you that Andy is in love with you, but just because someone is in love doesn’t necessarily mean they want marriage. Why should it matter though? Andy wants to spend the rest of his life with you, ring or not, he wants forever with you. It shouldn’t matter.

But it does.

God, you want to marry Andy so bad it fucking hurts. Yeah, it’s just a ceremony and a piece of paper to most, but for you it means so much more. It means everything. But how can you ask that? How can you ask him to do the whole thing all over again when it went so bad with Laurie? Yeah, he knows you would never do anything like that to him, but the pain is still there. The wounds, while mostly healed, are still there and you can’t blame him for not wanting to do it again. Sure, hes brought up marriage, but its been a few months and it’s just starting to feel like something that isn’t going to happen.

However, it’s not a deal breaker. At this point, you don’t really think anything is.

But God do you want it bad.

It’s not even about the fucking display. You two could get married in a courthouse or in a cardboard box, it really doesn’t matter to you. It’s not lost on you just how much Andy loves you, but someone committing to you? Someone acknowledging that commitment in the most final way? It’s what you’ve always dreamt of. Not only someone choosing you, but also just committing to you. Showing you that they love and want you above all else and aren’t ashamed of it. Aren’t ashamed of you.

By the time you two get home from the wedding, your mind is going a million

miles a minute, and you just want rest .

“Okay, so I know you said-”

You’re cut off by Andy pushing you against the wall and crashing his lips into

yours.

“Do you know how fucking hard it was for me to not rip this fucking dress

off of you?” he practically growls as he hoists your dress up and rips your panties off.

“Andy-”

“You looked so fucking good and I had to be a good little boy and keep my hands to myself!”

“Didn’t want you to,” you moan as his finger tips start teasing your clit. “Daddy, we have to...oh my God!”

“Gonna keep you up till we have to leave-”

“Daddy!” you mewl, wrapping your legs around his waist after he hoists you up.

“You want that?”

“I want everything you have to offer,” you pathetically whimper, keeping your lustful gaze on him.

Andy’s true to his word and keeps you up until the alarm on his phone goes off. He lets you rest while he packs up the car and gets Buttons ready, and you do your best to figure out where the hell you two are going that he needs you to get you both up and ready by 3:30am.

“Alright, your parents have agreed to watch the house while we’re gone for the next two weeks, and-”

“My parents? Andy, what the hell is going on?” you scoff, half awake as you feel yourself becoming more and more unfamiliar with your surroundings.

“We’re going on a trip. A real trip.”

“Andy.”

“Do you trust me?”

“You now I do.”

“Then don’t worry about it,” he smirks.

“I worry about it because you tend to do more than you should.”

“Only every once in a while.”

“Andy, where are we...are we going to the airport?”

“Mhm.”

“Andy! What did you do?!”

“We already knocked Italy off the list, where else have you been dying to go?”

“You didn’t! Paris is...Andy, it’s too much-”

“It’s not as expensive as you think,” he laughs, “besides, I told you I called in a few favors with Lynn.”

“Honey-”

“Stop it. I wanted to do this for you. Besides, this is probably gonna be our last big trip for a while, so it may as well be nice.”

“What? Why?”

“I put in my two weeks.”

“What?! When?!”

“ A week ago. I’ll start teaching a month after we get back.”

“Andy, that’s amazing! Congrats babe!” you beam, leaning across the console and kissing his cheek as Buttons starts barking.

“You’ll still love me even though I won’t make as much?”

“Andy, you could work at McDonalds and I’d still be head over heels.”

He looks over at you and gives you a sweet smile and all of your fears instantly fall away. No matter what, you’re all in forever.

Ring or not.

“Andy, this is gorgeous,” you gasp as you make you way into the hotel suite. “Were you wearing your glasses when you booked it?”

“This is exactly why I kept it a secret from you,” he groans and you laugh.

“This is exactly why you should have told me, because now I’m just going to tease you out of spite,” you taunt, sticking your tongue out at him.

While on the flight, you got up to use the bathroom and upon return, you saw Andy wearing reading glasses as he tried to decide what he wants to eat. He fessed up and told hes had them for a couple of months,and you’ve done nothing but give him hell since.

Truth be told though, he looks good as hell in them.

“Anyway, I guess did alright-off the bed, buddy,” Andy laughs as Buttons tries to set himself up. “Let me set up his bed, he’s probably exhausted.”

“I’ll do it, you’re pretty tired too.”

“I want you to do something else,” he smirks as he backs you against the wall.

“Now now, Mr. Barber, we have plenty of time for that,” you giggle.

“How am I supposed to contain myself while we’re in the city of love?” he husks against your neck before kissing it.

“Andy,” you moan.

“I want you to get yourself ready for me on the bed. Ten hours on a plane then an additional thirty minutes to get here? I’ve gone too long without you.”

“Daddy, I-”

“Gonna make up for all those nights I couldn’t take my time,” he promises as Buttons starts barking, “give me a second, Buttons,” he calls as he looks you over. “Go get ready,” he quietly demands before walking away.

Well, how the hell are you supposed to disobey him?

You slip into the bedroom and start to undress yourself before an idea pops into your head. It’s been so long and you want to take your time with him. You wanna get lost in and explore him all over again. You settled yourself into the center of the bed, lifting your dress just a little and leaving your heels on. You prop yourself up on your elbows, and anxiously wait for him to come back. Yeah, you two have made love a million times, but you still get so anxious every time. The way Andy looks at you is always so intense and he makes sure to pay attention to every part of you. There’s no hiding from him and it’s also so intense. Even when it’s fast.

“Now, I do believe I told you to get ready for me, sweetheart,” he sighs, rolling up the sleeves of black Henley shirt.

“You said you wanna make up for all the nights that we couldn’t our time. I figured we’d undress each other and take our time. Get lost in one another.”

“Is that what you want, baby? For Daddy to slowly pull you apart?” he questions, pulling on one of the ribbons on your shoes and softly taking it off your foot.

“Mhm, I want it so bad,” you whimper, biting your bottom lip, holding his heated gaze.

“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he promises you as he drops your other shoe to the ground.

He starts leaving a trail of soft kissing up your body, licking and sucking on your inner thigh (smirking at the sound of your desperate cries), hooking his fingers onto your panties and slowly pulling them down as you start to buck your hips.

“Daddy please!” you whine, gripping his hair as you try to feel more of him.

“I thought you wanted us to take our time?”

“I need to feel you! Please!”

“Always so desperate,” he chuckles before licking your clit. “You look so cute in this dress, honey,” he praises, sliding two fingers into your greedy channel. “Always so fucking beautiful.”

“I know much love red,” you moan, your toes curling as he picks up his pace. “I love looking my best for you!”

“You always look so beautiful, babygirl. I can never take my eyes off of you,” he hums before dipping down, sucking and licking on your clit.

“Fuck!”

You do your best to focus all of your attention on him as you grind your pussy against his face, but it just feels too damn good.Yeah, you knew that you missed him, but you weren’t aware of how much until now. Having him alone like this, just as desperate for you as you are for him? It’s heaven.

“I’m so close...daddy please! Don’t stop! I’ve needed you so...fuck, right there!” you cry out as you cum hard on his fingers.

Andy’s smirk is devious as he swirls his tongue around your clit and he picks up the pace. You try to keep your focus on him, but the pleasure is too much and you lull your head back in ecstasy.

“Eyes on Daddy, sweet girl,” he taunts, the vibration of his words almost sending you over the edge, as he adds another finger before curling.

“Feels so fucking good!”

“You know how I much I love eating this perfect little cunt, but eyes on me or I’ll stop.”

“Daddy please!” you whine pathetically, forcing your gaze back on him.

“Such a good girl,” he praises before resuming his assault on your clit.

“I...I love you so much,” you sob, feeling that knot in your tighten again, “you make....make me feel so fucking good! Fuck!”

A grunt of satisfaction leaves Andy’s mouth as you squirt hard, coating the lower half of Andy’s face and his fingers. As he fucks you through your high, you pray that Buttons is able to sleep.

Poor baby is probably all fucked up with the time change as it is.

“So fucking gorgeous,” Andy coos as he resumes kissing up your body, “you look so good when you come apart for me, honey.”

“Missed you so much, baby.”

“Oh, I know you did, sweetheart. I missed you too, baby. Gonna take my time showing you just how much,” he promises before kissing you passionately.

You start tugging on the hem of his shirt, desperate to see all of him as pulls down the straps of your dress, pressing sloppy kisses all along your shoulder. When you start to giggle, he stops and looks at you.

“What?”

“We can’t be too loud, Buttons!”

“You really are the sweetest thing, aren’t you?” he laughs, sitting up and taking off his shirt.

“He’s our sweet baby boy! He needs rest,” you giggle as you unbutton his jeans. “He needs a break too.”

“We’ll make it up to him, I promise,” he smirks before dipping down to kiss you. “Waited so long to hear you scream for me.”

“Daddy-”

“Gotta get you out of this fucking dress,” he grunts, pulling your dress up and over your head. “Never get tired of seeing this perfect fucking body, and no bra? What a filthy little thing.”

“Gotta keep quiet,” you whimper, shying away slightly as he looks you over.

“Can’t wait to fuck a baby into this perfect little pussy. You want that, honey?”

“You know I do,” you whimper, losing your resolve to be a good pet parent as you pull his boxer briefs down. “I want everything with you.’

“Then that’s what I’ll give you,” he husks as he thrusts himself inside of you, “I’ll give you fucking everything.”

Andy grips your thighs tight as he starts fucking you hard and fast, snickering as your eyes roll to the back of your head as you mindlessly claw at him.

“Please...fuck! Daddy!”

“Already fucked so stupid? We’re just getting started, sweet girl.”

“It’s too much! Need to...need to cum!”

“Hold on for me, I know you can be a good girl and hold on,” he commands before starting to suck on the sweet of your neck.

“It’s too much! Please...oh my God! I can’t...fuck, I can’t...!”

“That desperate for me?” he smirks, licking his thumb before using it to massage your clit.

“Daddy!”

“Go ahead, make a mess for me, baby. Cream all over daddy’s cock, honey!”

“Andy!” you cry out, making a mess on his cock and you’re sure the bed.

“And we’re just getting started,” he smirks, pulling you upright with him, before resting back on his legs.

“So full, daddy,” you moan as you start to grind your hips against his.

“But you’re still so desperate?”

“Need so much more of you, daddy,” you whine before giggling. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Looks like someone’s up,” you smile, waving at Buttons.

“Go back to bed, bud,” Andy chuckles. “Mom and dad are just getting started.”

Andy takes his time pulling you apart over and over, telling you just how much he loves and needs you. How much hes been looking forward to a future with you and how you’ll all he’ll ever need anyone in his life besides you. As you two get tangled up in the fancy sheets of the French hotel, you tell yourself that you’ll need or want for anything or anyone else.

Andy is all you’ll need for life.

“Okay, I know we have to go back home in a few days, but what if we don’t?” you ask Andy as you three sit outside at the restaurant you both has come to to love, La Fontaine de Mars.

“I would stay here with you forever if I could,” Andy laughs as he cuts into is roasted duck breast, “but we have lives to get back.”

“Yeah, but Newton, right Buttons?” you ask before taking a sip of your wine. When he barks at you, you nod at Andy, “see?”

“While it’s definitely not been my favorite place for a few years, Jacob and Sarah are there.”

“They’ll totally move to Paris,” you grin and he chuckles.

“I promise we’ll come back.”

“No no, I’m just being spoiled,” you mumble, cutting into your red label salmon fillet.

“No, we both love it here,we’ll definitely gonna come back. It won’t be an annual thing, but it’ll be something that we’ll do again. Just us and Buttons,” he promises with a smile.

“Yeah? What about when we have kids?”

“Jacob is against them, so we’ll them with him,” Andy shrugs and you laugh much harder than you mean to.

“God, I love making you happy.”

“It’s something you constantly do.”

“Promise?”

“I swear.”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, Andy.”

Once you’re both finished eating, and Buttons has had his fair share of treats, you resume your adventure hand-in-hand. You still can’t believe you’re in Paris, and you it’s even harder to believe that you’re in Paris with Andy. How can someone be this good to you? How can he love you this much?

“Okay, this is our last stop of the day,” he says as you reach the ‘Pont des Arts’. “To ensure that I keep my promise to you, we’re gonna put our initials on this locket, throw away the key, and we’ll come back whenever and find our locket. Sound good?”

“Andy Barber, you compete fucking sweetheart,” you beam as your eyes start to water a little.

He puts his initials first, then you put yours, before Andy finds a spot on the rail and secures.

“Andy...”

“I love you and I promise a lifetime of more memories and adventures with you.”

“You are my whole world.”

“And you mine, mon amour,” he smiles before kissing you passionately.

Yeah, they weren’t lying when they said that Paris is for lovers.

“Baby, what the hell are you doing?” Andy laughs from the bottom of the staircase.

“I can’t find my fucking sunglasses!” you scowl, going through your dresser drawer again.

“We can buy you new a pair!” he laughs.

“But these are my favorite!” you pout, realizing you may have left them in Paris.

The three of you got back from Paris about two weeks ago, and it’s all you’ve been talking. With today being your anniversary, you wish you two could’ve stayed longer, but it’s not like you don’t understand why you two can’t.

Money doesn’t just grow on trees

“I think I left them in Paris,” you mutter as you make your way downstairs.

“We’ll get you a new pair,” Andy laughs as he picks you up and you wrap your legs around him.

“I don’t want a new pair.”

“Don’t be brat.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s our anniversary.”

“It is, isn’t?” you smile at him.

“You bet your ass, and I’m treating you.”

“You just treated me! What-”

“No, that was a vacation we all needed. This is me spoiling you with love because you deserve it.”

“Well, maybe I just want to spend the day spoiling you.”

“Too bad, I called dibs, so lets go. Buttons!” he calls and your favorite boys quickly makes his way over to the both of you.

“Where are you taking us?”

“So many questions with you.”

“It’s one question!”

“One question too many, now hush,” he laughs, setting you down before putting his shoes on.

You stick your tongue out at him, but toe on your sandals before leashing up Buttons and making your way outside to Andy’s car.

“Ready for the best day ever?” Andy asks, unlocking the car before opening your door for you.

“Everyday with you is the best day ever,” you smile as Buttons jumps in.

Andy only chuckles before shaking his head and giving you a kiss on your forehead. You think nothing of it because what really makes today any different from any other day?

“What exactly are we doing today?” you ask as he starts the car.

“Gonna take a little trip down memory lane, then watch a movie about us,” he smiles at you.

“A movie about us? What movie could that possibly be?”

“You’ll see,” he smirks.

“Andy-”

“Enough questions. I love you and happy anniversary,” he laughs.

“You know, you spend entirely too much money on me.”

“You don’t even know what we’re doing!”

“It feels like it’s gonna be expensive.”

“Just hush and enjoy the day,” he laughs as Buttons barks.

“Uh huh, we’ll just see.”

“You’ll love it,” he promises as he takes your hand in it and kisses the back of it.

The day is better than anything you could have imagined. Andy spent the better half of the day, taking you to all of the places that are important points in your relationship. The Chinese food spot you two first bonded over, the park where you two would sometimes meet up and talk, the 24 hour ice cream where you two first hung out, the shelter where you both adopted Buttons (they were so excited to see him and how happy he was), and the bar where he begged you to not give up on the two of you.

He told you how happy he was that you kissed him that night and thanked you for being so patient and understand, while he was trying to get away from Laurie and set up a life for the two of you.

It’s safe to say you’ve cried more than once today.

“You look so beautiful in that dress,” he smiles as you two make your way back inside the house.

“It’s old.”

“You make it look amazing.”

“Alright you,” you smile sheepishly, “what is this movie we’re watching?”

“It’s a movie about us.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You’ll see, it’s set up in the backyard.”

“Andy-”

“Jesus, just come on,” he laughs, taking your hand and leading you to the backyard.

When you get outside, the little patio table is covered in rose petals, the chairs are facing the lawn where a screen and projector are set up, and there small candles set up around the patio floor.

“Andy...”

“The story of us,” he smiles as he presses play on the remote.

‘Selfish’ by the Jonas Brothers starts playing as a slide show of the two of you starts. The first picture you two ever took together at the 24 hour ice cream place, the the video of making fun of your driving, the times spent in your loft eating Chinese, photos of you sleeping on his chest that you hadn’t even known he’d taken, videos of him laughing at you and Jacob dancing, some photos that you’re more than sure Sarah took of the two of you, the photos from Rome, videos of you making dinner in his crew neck, some photos of you and Buttons sleeping together, the pictures from Paris, and a selfie you took of you two kissing at the park.

It truly is the story of you two.

“Y/N, I know none of this has been ideal or easy, but we made it,” he starts as the slide show comes to an end. “All of the long nights, the tears, the drama...we are still here and deeply in love with one another. How i lived my life so long without you, I have no clue, but I know it’s something I never want to experience again. You are my best friend, my soulmate, and the love of my life. There is no one funnier, smarter, loyal, selfless, gorgeous, and loving than you. I want to keep buying you gifts that you think are too much, I want dance parties in the kitchen while we’re making dinner, I want you to keep picking on me because I have to wear glasses now,” he laughs and you giggle with a sniffle, “and I want every day and every night to keep starting and ending with you in my arms. I want you forever, Y/N. So,” he he clears his throat and gets down on one knee, pulling a velvet black box and opening it, “will you marry me?”

The ring is gorgeous, but you barely get a chance to look at it because you tackle Andy with the biggest hug you’ve ever given him.

“Of course I’ll marry you!” you sob as cheers and applauds break out and you hear a champagne bottle open.

You look around to see your parents and Sarah and Jacob all tearing and clapping.

“You knew?!”

“We’ve known for a little over a year,” Sarah laughs as finally let go and wrapping her in a tight hug.

“You’re okay with this?” you ask Jacob, afraid that the dream might come crumbling down in a second.

“I couldn’t be happier for either one of you,” he promises reassuringly and you quickly wrap your arms around him.

“Thank you, Jacob. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When you break away from him, you look at your parents. Despite all the hell you all have been through, things are actually getting better and your heart swells knowing that Andy put aside his issues with them and invited them.

The man really does get you.

“Thank you for being here and getting along,” you sob with a smile, hugging them both as tight as you can.

“Thank you for wanting us here,” your father whispers back, hugging you just as tight.

“Let him put the ring on!” you mother sobs with a laugh.

“Holy shit, the ring!” you exclaim as everyone laughs.

You quickly make your way back to Andy who just shakes his head as he slips it on your ring finger.

“I love you, Andy. So damn much.”

“Here’s to forever,” he smiles before dipping down and kissing you.

As drinks are poured and food is ordered, you look around you and see Jacob and Sarah playing with Buttons, while your parents talk with Andy about wedding plans. As tears of joy come down your face the reality that you are finally going to have the life that you’ve always dreamed of.

Fairy tale dreams really do come true.

6 Years Later...

“Mama!”

“In the kitchen, babygirl” you call to your daughter, Ava, as you cut up lettuce.

Her hurried little footsteps mixing with the sound of Buttons excited big paws makes you smile.

“Hi Mama!” she beams, wrapping her arms around your waist.

“Hey babygirl, how was swim class?”

“Good! Right dad?!” she asks Andy as he makes his way into the kitchen, greeting you with a kiss on the forehead.

“She did amazing, she’s the fastest swimmer in the class.”

“With you as her dad, I’m not surprised.”

“Mama, can I play outside with Butty?”

“Only for a little bit. Dinner is gonna be ready soon, okay?”

“Thank you! Lets go Butty!” she beams before running out back, your sweet boy following right behind her.

Andy kept his promise and took you to Paris for the honeymoon, and wasted no time getting you pregnant. Constantly telling you that the best part of being pregnant, was getting pregnant.

He wasn’t wrong.

By the sixth month, you were over it and just wanted it out, but after 8 hours of swearing like a sailor, you welcomed Ava Rose Barber into the world. Andy was obsessed from the moment that he held her.

His teaching job isn’t exactly his most favorite thing, but he’s capable of having a flexible schedule, so he’s fine with it for the most part. You quit your job soon after you gave birth, and after some back and forth with Andy, you became a receptionist for a law firm. The hours aren’t awful, you make good money, and you’re home in more than enough to get dinner ready and spend time with Ava.

As for you and Andy, you somehow find yourself falling more in love with him. Every kiss still feels like the first time, every smile makes your heart melt, every touch still sets your skin alight, and every time you two make love he makes you feel that euphoric high that he’s only ever made you feel.

Your life is like a dream and it’s all because of Andy.

Your true home.

“That little girl has so much energy. Do they all always have so much energy?” he questions as he takes a seat at the kitchen island.

“Yes, my love, all children have entirely too much energy,” you laugh softly.

“Thank God we only have one.”

“Two,” you quip with a smile.

“Well yeah, but Buttons has four legs, he’s gotta get that energy out.”

“No Andy,” you laugh, “two.”

“Two...two? Who’s the other...TWO?!” Andy exclaims jumping up and running over to you. “Two?! You’re...?!”

“Took the test about two hours ago,” you laugh as he wraps his arms around you.

About two months ago, Jacob and Sarah took Ava and Buttons for the night so you and Andy could have a date night. Your little strip tease at the end of the night worked out a lot better than you thought it would, and Andy couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

Or remember to use protection.

“Shit! Honey, I fucking love you so much!”

“I love you too,” you giggle as you stand on your tip toes and place a kiss on his lips.

“This is the last one though.”

“Oh, this is definitely the last one, Atticus” you laugh, nodding in a agreement.

“What are we so happy about?” Jacob asks as he and Sarah make there way inside.

“What have I told you about using your key without letting us know?” you question, cocking your eyebrow.

“Yeah yeah, I know what I can walk in on,” he mutters as Sarah bursts out laughing, and you shake your head. “We were on our way to dinner and thought we’d have a family night. We haven’t had one in a while and I miss Ava.”

“That’s sweet, but I’m making dinner. You guys wanna stay? I know Ava would love it. Ravioli, garlic bread, a salad, and her big brother.”

“Sounds good,” he smiles, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer for both him and Andy.

“You and I missy, we need to have a wine night soon,” Sarah sighs, going to grab two wine glasses/

“Uh...I can’t have one for a few months. Seven to be exact.”

“OH MY GOD! CONGRATS!” she screams, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug.

“Again? Don’t you two have any damn hobbies?” Jacob smirks as Andy lets out a full bodied laugh.

“Mama, is it-JAKEY!” Ava screams, running over to the one person she looks up to the most. “Hi!”

“Hey you,” he smiles, picking her up.

“Are you and Sarah staying for dinner?”

“Looks like it.”

“Can we watch Disney movies after?”

“We can watch one,” you interrupt, finishing up the salad, “you have your dance recital tomorrow, and your grandparents are taking us out to lunch after.”

“Oh fine,” she pouts before turning her attention back to Jacob, “do you and Sarah wanna help me set up the table?!”

“We’d love to,” Sarah laughs, grabbing plates out of the cabinet.

Andy feeds Buttons the rice and chicken mixture you’ve started making for him, before walking over to you and taking the garlic bread out of the oven and resting it on top of the stove.

He stands next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and you both lean against the sink, watching your family smile and laugh as they set up the table. Andy kisses your temple and you feel so happy and content in this moment. After all the hell you and Andy have been through, everything has finally come together.

You both finally turned the dream into a reality.

taglist: @emerald-evans, @maroonsunrise83, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @companionjones, @here4thefanfics, @nnormalgirl01, @patzammit, @sapphire-rogers, @jamneuromain, @yiiiikesmish, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters, @liecastillo, @autumnrose40, @pono-pura-vida, @fuckingbye, @nomadstucky, @greeneyedblondie44, @mazda098,

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accirax · 1 year ago

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A Brief and Highly Speculative DRDT Thought

This damn character order. I don't get it. It vexes me.

Because, as far as I can tell, they aren't ordered in any particular way. It's not alphabetical first name order, alphabetical last name order, alphabetical talent order, death order, order of introduction, Class Trial seating order, gender order (like doing all the girls, all the boys, and then Nico), rainbow order of official colors... And, as far as I can tell, that remains true if you do any of the options in reverse, or if you remove Teruko.

I don't think they work if you remove Xander either, or even Charles too. I say that just because I think those three could be first as, like, a top billing sort of thing. At the start, I think you're meant to believe that (following standard Danganronpa protocol) Teruko is the protagonist, Xander is the support character, and Charles is the antagonist. As arguably the three most important characters, it would make sense to put them first. Of course, that's not exactly how their roles actually turned out, but that's what you want the audience to believe as a spoiler-free first watcher.

So, if it's not any of those things, what is it? I started thinking about what the most likely possibilities are.

#1: The Order is Completely Random

As in, DRDTdev took the finished cast, put all of the names (minus Teruko, and maybe Xander and Charles) into a randomizer, and this is how it turned out. That would be a good way to avoid giving us any hints as to the characters' development or stories. Honestly, fairly likely, but bear with me here.

#2: The Order is Something Story-Relevant We Haven't Learned Yet

And thus, once we get to Chapter 6 or whatever, we'd be like, "oh, so that's why they were put in that order." This could be something like "order in which characters were accepted into Hope's Peak" or "order in which characters met Mai." Potentially interesting, although such an open sandbox that trying to pin down what it means is basically as good as it being random.

#3: The Order is Order of Creation

This is the real "Brief and Highly Speculative Thought" the title promised. I think there's a chance that this order appears random to us because it's the order that the characters were developed in. We know from the July 31st Q&A that Arei was the subject of the "first ever drawing of DT," which could imply that she was one of the characters who was created/confirmed first. However, she's currently fifth, so, what about the characters before her?

Well, Teruko is the protagonist, so it would make sense if she was the first character DRDTdev created. She also has a lot of mysteries and secrets surrounding her, which, as the protagonist, are surely strongly interconnected with the main plot. Hell, it's even possible that the protagonist of altDRDT is Teruko's brother! Having brainrot about Teruko may have been what inspired altDRDT in the first place, which would mean that Teruko would have to exist for longer than altDRDT has. Why am I talking so much about Teruko. This is not a hard sell.

It might seem strange that your literal first death, the character with the least screen time, is the second one you create, but when it's a character as intriguing as Xander, it becomes less of a hurdle. The dramatic scene that occurs to bridge the silly times of pre-first death and the oh-shit entirety of post-first death is an important enough moment that I would believe it was conceptualized very early. It's a big tone-setting moment. Xander also seems to be pretty interconnected with Mai, as "Unnamed Student" once asked him to find something for her (it's uh... in that document somewhere). That implies big overarching plot relevance, which potentially implies early creation.

As stated above, Charles is meant to look like the antagonist archetype of DRDT, so it would make sense if he was developed third. Basically, "I have my protagonist and my support character, so who should my antagonist be?" Charles is alive for at least two Class Trials, and his fear of blood and bodies seems like something that would need to be planned around long in advance. He also has a lot of parallels to Teruko, which could be important to her development. Charles third doesn't seem like a stretch.

Ace fourth, however, feels like a bit more of a stretch. I still don't think it's impossible, though. Many people (including myself, more or less) believe that Ace will be a survivor. Being at the sixth Class Trial is reason enough to be important, but if Ace was designed to do something important at that Trial (god knows what), it could make sense if Ace was created early. Ace also has a number of important relationships-- Levi, Nico, and Hu, to name the most prominent. The fact that Ace is at the center of most of those conflicts, being the one inciting the main problem, makes me think it would have been much easier to plan out the daily life if he were in it from very early on.

And then, we're back to Arei. I wouldn't have guessed that our apparent second victim was developed as early as fifth place, but, that's canon, baby! I don't have to explain this one!

The characters being listed in order of creation would have a number of interesting implications on the roles that characters play. For instance, you would probably imagine that the mastermind would be amongst the characters you would develop first, right? If so, that would diminish the likelihood that characters such as Veronika, J, Whit, or Nico were the mastermind (that actually covers a lot of really popular options, damn). Conversely, it could implicate that characters like Ace, Rose, Hu, or Eden are more likely to be the mastermind.

From a writing standpoint, later characters may have also been created for the purpose of solving problems. Going back to Ace, let's say that (as Hu has already been developed 7th at this point), DRDTdev knows that Ace and Hu need to have a big conflict in Chapter 3 that, I don't know, leads to Hu being the blackened and Ace starting to regret his foul mouth or something. To solve that problem, let's create Nico, a character who Hu likes and Ace hates, who does something highly controversial. Hu defends this "Nico", Ace insists they're in the wrong, and the arguing causes Hu to snap. That's 1) a huge oversimplification of the character creation process and 2) wildly speculative about the future of DRDT's plot, but my point is to say that one character can be inspired by the needs of the plot and still be a cool and beloved character that perfectly fits in regardless.

(To be clear, I am of the firm belief that there are no losers/unimportant or underdeveloped characters in DRDT. That's part of what makes it so great!)

(And, when I referred to "loser" characters there, I am referring to my own writing, not anybody else's fangans.)

That's not to say that there aren't any issues with the concept that the characters are in development order, though. The one that most immediately jumped out to me was David being 12th. Like Charles, he also has a lot of parallels with Teruko, and his big reveal could be something that was in the cards from early on, like Xander's death. Honestly, though, I could seem him being a surprisingly late addition. If DRDTdev perhaps realized that Charles wasn't as antagonistic as he initially intended, he may have wanted a new character to become an antagonist in Chapter 2 to replace Charles. Or, once DRDTdev decided that Teruko wouldn't (outwardly) mourn Xander, he may have wanted a character that would to keep the idea of Xander as a good guy in the audience's minds. Maybe that's just me being delusional, though.

Min's 11th place creation is also kinda weird to me. On one hand, she is the Chapter 1 killer, so a character with a short lifetime and limited important character relationships could have been added closer to the end. Then again, if Xander (the victim) and Teruko and Charles (major baits) were created so early, it kinda feels like DRDTdev would have come up with the actual killer earlier too, right? Min also has connections to XF-Ture tech, which, if not that important to DRDT, certainly seems to be important to altDRDT. However, I guess those could have been "problems" too-- "who can I create that would kill Xander to save Teruko?" and "how can I incorporate XF-Ture tech into the story in a natural way?"

The inclusion of Bonus Episodes also adds some spice to the discussion. We don't technically know that the Chapter 2 victim and killer will get their own episodes once the chapter is over, although I think most people are assuming it at this point. Min, for example, could have also been conceptualized based on a need for an early bonus episode to drop some lore about American Hope's Peak. Thus, her talent of "Ultimate Student" could have been designed to lead to a conversation about the school in the future. The same could be true of some later killers and victims as well.

Also, going back to the "actual killer" bit, things may have also been confused if any characters were ever replaced. Maybe there was originally a different character intended to be the Chapter 1 killer. This hypothetical character could have been discarded entirely or moved somewhere else-- like how, in THH, the original Chapter 1 was Hifumi killing Hiro, but after the plans changed Hiro became a survivor, and Hifumi a third victim. It's another way to potentially explain the gap between first victim and first killer.

Anyways, in conclusion, I don't know if I really believe in this theory or not. I just thought it was interesting, and decided to serve it up to y'all as food for thought.

The creation and writing of DRDT is fascinating to me, so I'll have to ask you to bear with me as my theories get less concrete and relevant and more speculative and meta as the hiatus goes on. That's just the manner in which my brain is rotting at the moment. Are my discussions of reasons for character creation peeling back the layers of the Matrix, or am I just donning my tin foil hat and pretending to know more about writing than I do...? I guess only time will tell. Thanks for reading!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #several of my theory and analysis posts are made in a fever state where #once i think of the idea i can't focus on anything else until i write it out #the dress up debunk was absolutely like that and the archetypes were too #this is definitely One Of Those Posts #if anyone actually wants me to elaborate/explain/speculate on this more i will don't test me (please do test me if you want)#anyways -Tober posting tomorrow yippee!#my theories #thh spoilers

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highlordofkrypton · 5 months ago

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Writing - Drafting Process

Clearly, I am avoiding actually writing by talking about writing. I was thinking about the drafting process today, and maybe this can help someone! For me, this process applies specifically to long stories to which I already know the conclusion, not my oneshots or update-as-I-go fics.

Honestly, I only found out that I write this way after my first fanfic. It's something that I do naturally, but with all the fun writing discussions I got to participate in lately, it was a fun exercise to actually break down what I do. It might sound daunting, but I promise that it's not as formal as you think!

I'm absolute a ✨vibes✨ writer, the drafting process is mostly for consistency and making sure I get to the end!

There are many ways to write, so for those who might still be looking for their process or those looking for something new, hopefully this can inspire you.

DRAFT 0: OUTLINE

For larger stories, I always get a surge of inspiration. I usually create a DUMP document where I dump all my ideas. At the very top of the document, I create an outline with the major story segments and then whenever I think of a scene, I add into that outline.

For example, my outline for my ACOTAR Prequel was created in chronological order, but also by location.

I would also start by adding:

The scenes that come to mind and I have muse to write

The necessary scenes that are either fundamental to character development or plot development

The transitional scenes

So, in that order, I can get a pretty decent idea of what I need to get done.

I also always make character sheets when I write. Not in a formal way, but just a page where I dump anything that I wrote in the story so I remember word for word what I said. That or I'll color code highlight, but a character dump is easier.

It's absolute chaos, but I prefer ideas to be as raw as possible. I'm an emotional writer, so I want to be reminded of it the way it came to me.

DRAFT 1: SKELETON /JUST WRITE

The writing starts here for me. The goal is to just write. Don't think, don't question, just write and depending on what medium you're using, drop a comment with notes for your future self to come back to. Sometimes, I'll even add a line between sections that I don't want to write to say "COME BACK AND INSERT TRANSITIONAL SCENE", highlight it or mark it in red.

More often than not, I'll start by writing out the scenes that appear in my mind vividly. For example, in Wildflowers, the first scene I ever wrote was actually Chapter 4. I knew that I wanted to write out Hybern Castle and if you read the scene completely, it was barely edited because it came to me so strongly.

Then, once I've finished writing the "muse driven" scenes, I start writing by importance.

Do not worry about about fleshing out the story. That will come later.

If I'm struggling with finishing, then I usually tag in a beta reader who's job at this point is to answer one question and one question only: "Is this good?" I think a more accurate phrasing would be -- Am I on the right track for this story? I'll do another post for how I work with my beta.

DRAFT 2: FLESH OUT THE STORY

At this point, I only focus on the story and character development. Don't worry about the little details. For long stories, I might choose to print the story out because it helps refresh and reset my brain. It's also easier to read/annotate hundreds of pages this way.

Read through your story once.

Add notes to where you feel the story needs to flow better, either add transitional scenes, or something that need to add or hinder to your character.

Write out the scenes.

Bring in the beta and ask: "Story-wise, is there anything missing? Is there anything about the character that needs to be clarified?"

For example, a question that came up for Wildflowers is why would Tamlin be different from his abusive father and his siblings? He wasn't. Not at the beginning. He would have been raised to look down on humans, so in the second draft, I went back and thought of scenes that would help inform his choice to empathize with humans.

DRAFT 3: SELECTIVE READ / EDITING

Calling this draft 3 is tentative because you may choose to do multiple drafts of this section. Once I've gotten most of the story down, I will pick one element that I want to focus on editing. I will do a read through and annotate what needs to be fixed for each "element".

For example, I might want to check the consistency of the character physical descriptions, so I will read once focusing ONLY on pieces of writing that contain that. Then, maybe I wanna go back and make sure Rhysand's voice is sassy enough. Another read through focusing ONLY on his dialogue.

I find this method is really great because it allows you to work on that specific element rather than getting overwhelmed with everything to fix.

These are what I usually read through if you're looking for ideas:

Character descriptions

Lore elements

Dialogue

Smut

Show vs. Tell

Tense (past vs. present)

Relationship depth (especially for side characters)

One would think this is where I would add foreshadowing but I'm not that organized of a writer. Again, I just go with the ✨vibes✨ and it usually works out.

DRAFT 4: FINAL EDIT

I call this the final edit because I will probably write forever if you let me. In this draft, I focus on proofreading, grammar, sentence structure and clarity of the writing itself.

Yes, there are typos that usually escape and haunt you forever especially if you're a binder like me.

I also get my beta to help me with this as a second set of eyes, especially to give me feedback on stylistic choices.

I don't know if this helped anyone, but this was fun to write! I like doing guides and thinking about stuff, so yeah, this is usually my process. It takes about 2-3 months if I'm locked and loaded focus-wise.

Let me know if you have questions, I'm happy to help!

#writing process #writing #creative writing #drafts #writers on tumblr #writerblr #ao3 author #fanfiction writer #ao3 #my guides

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apprenticestanheight · 5 months ago

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Good News - Chainshipping

Ooooookay!! This was born of an idea I had m o n t h s ago but then I tried to write it (I feel like it's one of the chainshipping fics I have here but I can't remember) and it went in a different direction and, as I usually tend to do, I gave it as close to a happy ending as I was willing and able.

This, however? nah. I haven't cried for a serious reason (this is very serious to me!!) in a good bit so. here we have this. To the anon who sent in a req for heavy chainshipping angst, the concept of this fic was brought back around into the handy dandy mental space because of you and I hope you like it!

Title was riffed from the song Good News by Julien Baker, by which this fic is not directly inspired (I listened to it while writing this fic,, at least the start) but might have a similar vibe to.

Fic type - this is straight out angst with maybe a cathartic and kind of hopeful end?? idk but I know that it's all angst until the last scene and even then, the angst is still present there.

Warnings - mentions of drugs and drug use (morphine is mentioned once in a hospital setting and weed is mentioned a lot), addiction is referenced (both in Gabrielas case and also in Adam talking about being borderline addicted to his pain meds and his weed dependency not being a dependency but more an addiction), and this is fairly time-jumpy bc every scene takes place at a slightly different time than the last, which is clarified! The second half is probably not that great in terms of proofreading and editing, this one is hot off the press (I finished it, went to type up the authors note, and rushed to post bc I want this out of my brain) and might not be super good bc I don't doubt that I've missed a few things.

The first thing that Adam registers when he wakes up is a white-hot, raging pain that starts in his shoulder and manages to radiate down his arm til it reaches the nerve endings in his fingers. The second thing he registers is the feeling of someones hand, holding tightly onto one of his own--not the one that's in pain, thank fuck--and the sound of their breathing, somehow both quick and laboured at the same time.

The third thing he registers is a tube shoved down his throat. The second he registers that, the anxiety sets in. He forces his hand out of the grasp of the person who's holding onto it and tries to grab at the tube like his life depends on it, because for a second, he feels like it does.

"Adam," a voice whispers. He blinks his eyes open, turns in the direction of the voice, but it takes a few seconds for the image to blur into focus. "Adam--it's a breathing tube, keeping your lungs from collapsing. Relax, honey."

He stills when he realizes who it is. It's his mother, who he hasn't seen in almost a decade.

He glares at her for a second, but then he hears the resoundingly soft click! of a button, and five minutes later, a glorious-adjacent high sets in. Adam figures out as the haze takes him over that a morphine button is somewhere near his bed, is grateful for it despite the lingering confusion.

"Rest up," she says. "I'll be here until you fall asleep, okay? And I promise not to bug you after. I just heard you'd been found and I needed to see that for myself."

Adam lets sleep take him over--he's pretty much confined to his bed, and while he hates it, he knows he has no other choice, really, and the exhaustion creeps up on him before he can even register it.

A few long weeks go by, and by the time he's discharged from the hospital and complete with the necessary physical therapy to rehabilitate his arm and make sure his shoulder is working right, it's the very beginning of December.

Part of him wonders where Lawrence is--did he make it out? Was cutting his foot off worth it in the end? They're things he wonders about late at night, when the insomnia takes over and he resists the urge to climb out onto his fire escape and smoke as many joints as he can in order to sleep without fucking up his liver.

He doesn't go to therapy right out the gate, doesn't even think to do it for those first few weeks, when his doctor is checking in on him every single morning when their shift starts and every evening when it ends, when a psychiatrist comes in once every few days and tries to help him process the memories that he'd taken to vehemently avoiding.

But then, on the walk home from one of Scotts concerts, he sees an ad posting for a Jigsaw support group. It's the next day, runs from seven to nine, and the church basement it's held in is only five minutes down the road from his apartment.

He decides he'll go, part of him gunning for the mere thought of seeing Lawrence--a Jigsaw support group would be exactly the kind of place Lawrence would go after experiencing something so traumatic as the goings on of that bathroom. It's the one surefire spot Adam is betting on, but he tries to stop himself.

He doesn't know what's happened to Lawrence, not really. Lawrence hasn't reached out and Adam has made no effort to do the same for fear of rejection. He figures he could ask around at the support group, holds onto the off chance that someone there knows him or at least knows what happened, somehow.

As he gets undressed, opting to wear a pair of sweatpants and a basic black shirt, he knows that he, realistically, has no valid reason to speculate on the state of Lawrences well being, if there even is a well being upon which to speculate. If he wants to hear from Lawrence--which he does, more than anything--then he can do either of two things. He can wait for Lawrence to reach out, or he can try to do it himself.

He goes to sleep, telling himself he'll look through the phone book before he goes to work tomorrow.

Looking through the phone book doesn't yield much--it yields a number with a voicemail that hasn't been updated since the mid-nineties, at least, which is enough to make him laugh depressedly because mid-nineties Lawrence is not the Lawrence he knew, but the one that had existed about five years beforehand.

The support group meeting is, surprisingly, decent. He sits, for two hours, in a room full of people who understand what he's gone through. He shares his own story for the first time, breathes himself through the roughened edges and the sharp points that threaten to stab him in the chest when he thinks about it.

Talking about it, he realizes, is good for him, like the psychiatrist had said it might turn out to be. He goes home feeling the full weight of that day, which is something that he hates more than he hates himself, but he also feels a little vindicated.

The next two meetings go like that as well--Adam talks, warms up a bit slower than butter left on the counter to thaw after having spent many-a-week at the bottom of a large-capacity freezer.

At the end of December, the day after Christmas, it's the groups last meeting of the year and the first with a newcomer since Adam came along at the beginning of the month.

The newbie sits next to him, and he doesn't really bother to notice them, figures he'll pay more attention when they speak a little bit and focuses instead on sipping his coffee, focuses loosely on the delight he feels at the thought of the support groups carrot muffins that they bring out for people to eat at around 8:30, at which point the group kind of disperses to talk amongst themselves.

The instructor is a guy named Paul, and he's 35 and balding. He claims to be one of Jigsaws first survivors, having been tested around '99. Adam doesn't really believe it--Jigsaws first recorded victim would've been around early 2000, if a little bit later into that year, but he digresses. If someone or multiple someones want to pretend to be his victims, Jigsaw and his followers will take matters into their own hands eventually, be it in the name of revenge or some twisted kind of retribution.

He notices the newbie, and like he did when Adam was new, he singles her out in a way that she probably won't realize was him doing so until later, just like Adam had that first meeting.

"My name is Gabriela," she says. "I'm from Mexico. I came to New Jersey to get away from my life there--I couldn't take it."

The admission makes Paul smile softly, nod like he understands even though Adam knows, from his New Yorkian accent, that it's the farthest he's travelled between there and Jersey.

"And we're all here to support you through your troubles," he says. "Why were you tested?"

"I'd rather not--" Gabriela pauses. Adam looks at her, studies her, and sees a few scars lining her face. "I was cruel to him. I was part of the Pederson project and struggled with an addiction. He tested me and my friends at the beginning of October. Most of them died."

"The Pederson project?" Paul asks. "Whats that?"

"Something--" tears well up in her eyes, and Adam, on impulse, reaches a hand out and grabs hers. She looks at him then, stark brown eyes meeting his own. Adam has a thought that she looks like a deer in headlights. "I--I was desperate for money. I did what I thought I had to do, and then he made me pay the price."

"I lost someone too, I think," Adam laughs. "My trap mate. His name was Lawrence, and I can't figure out if he's alive or not. I watched him cut off his foot."

Gabriela smiles. Adam glances at Paul, briefly, and shrugs.

"Maybe she won't be as quick to open up as I was," he says. "Give her time."

Paul nods once, and their interactions end. Gabriela keeps a hold on Adams hand and Adam lets her, remembering what it was like in those first couple of weeks after--hell, he's still technically in that rough spot, but it's at least a little better than it was, even if it's still shit.

Yeah, Adam can't really take showers or baths yet, and yeah, that means he's had to use strawberry scented make up wipes to keep himself smelling not-rancid, and dry shampoo to keep his hair from being a greasy mop on his head, but it's better.

His shoulder hurts all the time, but it's not the pain he woke up with that first day. Every nightmare is worse than the last, but at least he's getting two hours of sleep a night now instead of a maximum of 30 minutes. He has to go against himself, go against his natural sense of pessimism and he has to choose optimism or he won't be able to keep going.

Optimism, taking the wins where he can, is what has kept him going for the past ten weeks. It kept him sane when he was trapped in the dark, and it's kept him sane ever since.

When the meeting ends, Gabriela stays close, which is something she's trying to be covert about but Adam notices. He doesn't let it irritate him as he gets more coffee, as he eats his carrot muffin and talks to Amanda Young, a girl who'd been in a trap only a few weeks before he had. He stays behind to help Paul and the others stack up their chairs and sweep the floor just in case, and Gabriela winds up staying.

She finally gets the nerve to talk to him about two seconds after he's left the church basement, has gone to sit in the pews that are empty of anyone. He hates churches, normally, but this one is oddly comforting when it's either nearly or totally empty. It's quiet in the same way the world is after snow has fallen, which is a quiet Adam has long appreciated.

"How do you deal with it?" she asks. She's sitting in the pew behind him, her hood tucked over her head to cover her hair. "I've been trying to since the start of October, when it happened, and I just--I don't know how."

"Well, first off, Jersey was about the worst place you could've wound up in," Adam laughs a little. "Most of his crimes take place in and around the general area of Jersey, but he's not the type to test people twice, as far as I know, so don't let my assholery get to you too much about that. Secondly, I'd probably argue I'm not much better than you. I was addicted to nicotine when I went in, and I've come out with something a bit worse for my liver and my lungs both."

It makes Gabriela laugh. "I'm at the hospital a lot for skin grafts," she says. "I got insurance, somehow, so I'm not drowning in debt, but I had to tell them I couldn't have any pain medication for after. I even thought anaesthesia was risky for some time."

"I had to call and get my medical bills reduced to a point where I could pay them off," Adam says. "I work in a bookstore now, and I have insurance from them as of the new year. It'll cover my meds, which I'm grateful for. We got some pretty short sticks in the game of life, but we didn't get the shortest ones."

"You don't seem like an optimistic person," Gabriela says. "You don't look like one, I mean."

"I'm not, usually," Adam says. "But until I hear that my trap mate is dead, I'm gonna choose to be optimistic because he would want me to be, dead or alive. Until I have proof that he's gone, I'm going to keep my optimism lined up with the idea that he's alive at the forefront of it's existence."

"What if he's not?" Gabriela asks. "What after that?"

"Then--fuck, I don't know. I become pessimistic and nihilistic, I guess? Jigsaw tests me again, maybe, if it gets that bad. I think, if he does, I'll fail on purpose that time. He'd better make damn sure that it's fucking fair that time around, though--no leaving the key to my chained up foot in the full fucking bathtub again, or I'll survive it just to spite the bastard."

Gabriela laughs again. Adam gets up and walks home, back to his sad little apartment.

He has to roll and smoke two over-the-top joints just to not spiral, conks right the fuck out at 9:45 on the dot.

It's the middle of January when Adam gets something in his mailbox. He grabs it along with the newspaper and doesn't really check the labelling on either, too caught up in the idea of checking his voicemails after remembering he has a landline that he hasn't used in five months, since he'd gotten a cheap Motorola and used that to make most of his calls.

So, he drops the mail on his kitchen counter top, grabs the landline and checks his voicemails.

The first couple are from his mother, one of which was back around when he was in the trap--sent a few days before, one he could halfheartedly remember giving a listen to before he was taken. His mother telling him his father wasn't angry anymore, like that would even begin to make up for a decades worth of anger from Adams childhood up until when he left.

It's the most recent one that gets his attention whip-quick. "Hi, Adam," it's Lawrences voice--not mid-nineties Lawrence, either. Lawrence from that day or at least a week or two after, the one Adam knows.

"I don't know if you were expecting this call, or if you'll even pay any mind to this voicemail, but I found your name in the phone book, and I heard you'd been rescued, and I just--I needed to call, okay? You don't have to understand, that's fine, but I just wanted to make sure you understood how sorry I am. I'm sorry to have left you to die like that, and I can't even begin to think about all of the ways you've been affected in the aftermath without getting anxious palpitations. I should've found a way to save you, and I'll regret not having done so for the rest of my life, okay? I just wanted to make sure you knew that I regretted it, and to make sure you understand that if I could go back and do it differently, I would do so in a millisecond without a moments hesitation."

Adam is so relieved to hear his voice that he almost cries--Lawrences voice is rough on the edges, ooey-gooey and warm at the centre, and it almost does him in completely.

"In another universe, I go ahead and visit you instead of leaving you a voicemail like a damn coward, but that's not this universe, and I'm sorry for it. You don't need to call me back, all right? I just needed to call and make sure I said my peace."

The voicemail beeps and ends and Adam hangs up the phone, fights the urge to lose his mind a little but keeps himself in check just long enough to check his mail, read the letter addressed to him.

It, shockingly, is from Alison, Lawrences wife.

I had a PI locate your address, it reads. He's in the hospital--his leg got infected and it spread like wildfire. I'd come and see him before the month was out if I were you, but if I'm being honest, I really don't think he'll make it more than another week. Come as soon as you can, to give him some peace of mind. He's staying at Saint Mercy-East, and the receptionist has been told to let you in when you come around.

Alison Baker (formerly Gordon)

Adam gives in. He lets himself cry until he can't, knows that he'll have to call into work just to see Lawrence. He has to do it. Lawrence is alive, if just barely, and he needs to see him in person one last time before the only rendition of Lawrence that he can see is a headstone.

Witnessing a person in palliative care is a lot more nerve-wracking than Adam first expects. Lawrence is barely awake, occasionally shifting in his hospital bed, and his skin looks grey and sullen. His breathing is laboured and a little loud, and when Adam looks at him, he feels himself cracking just a little. Adams heart breaks as he sits in the plastic chair to Lawrences left, grabs his hand and holds onto it as tightly as he thinks he can handle without breaking down.

"Hey," he whispers. "I just wanted to come down--Allison told me where you were staying, what had happened with your leg, and I figured I'd come and see you for at least half an hour."

Lawrence stills.

"I'm just gonna talk for a bit, okay?" Adam laughs at himself. "I've never done anything like this before, so I don't really know what to do."

Lawrence looks at him. His blue eyes are dull and gray and so sorrowful that it damn near kills Adam from the inside out. He realizes that Lawrence probably knows he's not got long left, if his infection has left him that lucid. Lawrence Gordon, someone who used to be sarcastic and quippy and so full of life, Adam heartbreakingly realizes, very likely knows he's dying.

"You seemed to want me to be okay in the voicemail you left," Adam says. "I just--I want you to know that I am. I'm on meds because of chronic shoulder pain and I deal with my earned amount of PTSD stuff, but I'm okay. I work in that cute little bookstore across the way from the Aldi near the heart of the city, the one that looks real small on the outside but inside is actually kind of huge? It's called Romeros, and I've got insurance and PTO and all of that shit."

Lawrence smiles gently. Adam keeps going.

"I take photos of stray cats pretty much exclusively now," he says. "And I go to a support group to help me deal with the PTSD stuff. If you've been worried, you don't need to be anymore. I'm on the path to learning how to be okay, and it was just really important to me for you to know that. I don't want to lose you when it feels like I've just gotten you back, but this is probably gonna be the only time I visit. I love you, dude."

Adam squeezes Lawrences hand just a bit tighter.

He stays with Lawrence from the beginning of visiting hours til Lawrences heart gives out near their end. Adam watches, in a panic, as the doctors go about protocol for a DNR.

In the end, Adam is still in the room when a nurse says the unthinkable.

"Time of death: 18:04 PM, January 15th."

And then, just like that, Adam has to face a reality he's spent the last several months not wanting to confront, hating the very idea of.

Lawrence Gordon is dead. He's gone, and there's nothing Adam can do about it.

Adam can't pull himself together enough to go to the funeral. He receives an invite in the mail initially, then a copy of Lawrences obituary and the address to where he's been buried a few weeks later.

Grief, he finds, is an ugly little thing. It makes him a bit more dependent on the weed than normal, closes him off at the support group and makes him volatile on his worst nights because he hates it. He hates that he has to grieve at all, really.

Lawrence had managed to survive that bathroom. He'd mustered up the strength to cut his own foot off, and God repaid him with an infection of what remained of that leg spreading through his body and killing him? He'd survived cutting off his own foot just to die four months later? That feels like bullshit to Adam, and he hates it.

Eventually, when the anger isn't all consuming, he leaves his apartment. He stops and buys a few flowers from a convenience store, and then he goes and visits Lawrences grave.

LAWRENCE GORDON

LOVING HUSBAND, FATHER, AND SON

He sets the flowers down, reads the lettering engraved on the stone.

"I've been dealing with a lot since you passed," Adam says. He sits down in front of the head stone, careful in the motions. He runs his hands over a newly buzzed head, the hair having grown out past it's due and the cheapest option having been to take a pair of clippers to it instead of getting it cut. "Uh--I just kind of wanted to stop by for a second. I don't know if I'll ever do this again, but I kind of thought I owed it to you a little bit."

Jersey is riding out the coattails of winter now, the grass dotted with snow, but Adam doesn't really care. It's sunny out and there's an icy breeze to go with it, but it's a nice day, everything else considered.

"I've been closed off from it all--I hate thinking about you right now because your death feels like bullshit," Adam laughs. "You survived everything from that day, just as well as I did, and yet you're dead from an infection in your stump that'd radiated through the rest of your body before you could stop it, and I'm still alive. You're dead and in the ground and I'm alive and borderline addicted to the pain meds I use for my shoulder and so dependent on weed that it's long teetered past a dependency. It feels unfair."

If anyone, Lawrence should be the one who got to stay alive.

"Up until you died, after the support group was done, I'd leave the church basement and go into the church itself. I'd always sit in an empty pew and just watch," he says. "They had a candle vigil at the front, and sometimes survivors who'd gone to the support group would light candles for their trap mates who hadn't made it. I have a friend, Gabriela, who lights candles after every meeting. She whispers their names, too. Valentina. Mateo. She even lights one for the only other not-jackass survivor, named Diego."

He feels really dumb. Like--the dumbest he's ever felt dumb, but he just keeps talking.

"I don't know if I'll ever do it, but I think someday I might. Alison hates you, even though she was kind to you in your last days, and both of your parents are gone, so it kind of feels like I'm the only person who knew you that can remember you without feeling disdain. If I light one of those stupid little tea candles, you'd better show me a fuckin' sign, even though I don't believe in that shit. I love you, Lawrence, but I'm not going to risk burning my finger on a Dollar Tree match if you don't make it worth it."

He laughs at himself, shakes his head. "I'm going to go to a meeting," he says as he gets up. "Maybe open up a little bit. Have fun doing whatever it is your doing on the other side of this God awful, relentless mortal coil."

Adam doesn't open up in support group that day--the wounds are still too fresh to bear, and he doesn't think he'll be able to talk about Lawrence for another very long while, but at least he admits it to himself.

He follows Gabriela to the vigil that night, though. She has an arm around his waist, holds onto him like she's scared he's going to fall apart. He's a bit scared of falling apart, too, if he's honest, so he just lets her.

She lights a match, goes about lighting the candles one by one. Valentina. Mateo. Diego.

She blows the match out, passes Adam the matchbox.

He takes it, strikes the match alight with the sandpaper on the side, and picks the candle closest to his right.

"Lawrence," he says gently as he lights it.

It doesn't feel like closure--not exactly, anyway--and he's sure nothing ever will. He knows that he'll feel pain every time he thinks of Lawrence for the next while, at least, but he has to learn to be okay with that or the pain will never go away.

That match, that candle? He knows they're just the first steps and that he has a long way to go, but he's fine with that. His grief and everything that's come of it can take as long as they need, he decides. He'll give himself a little bit of grace and allow at least that.

#adam stanheight #adam faulkner-stanheight #adam stanheight x lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon #chainshipping #saw (2004)#saw 2004 #saw posting #sawposting

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dre6ming · 2 years ago

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The delicate beginning rush

Chapter 17 - this is when the feeling sinks in

The delicate beginning rush Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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To be added to my tag list click HERE

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/ actress fem reader

Warning: age gap (10 years), smut (18+ mature content), cursing, mentions of death, grief, alcohol, fluff

Plot: the ending to a beautiful love story, the next few months in (y/n) and Austin’s life, navigating everything.

Word count: ~10.000

Disclaimer: this is the last chapter of the series, BUT be not afraid, there will be an epilogue to tie the end completely, but I can’t make any promises about when it will be posted since I have started on it yet, but keep an eye on my page, I always update when I can. Also this chapter is not proof read so there my be writing errors. Thank you!

A/n: thank you so much for coming along on this journey and though the story might be over “The delicate beginning rush” universe is not closed, so content from this world might still be posted on the form of fake instagram stories or small stories. I will always revisit these two whenever I feel like you (my readers) want me to. Thank you!! 💜🧶

June 2022

Today it's a calm day in the studio with Taylor and Jack, I'm working on my vocals for her new album that she will announce at the AMA's. "Ok when you hear the beat, start singing." Taylor tells me, giving me the ok to record my vocals. Jack plays the track, the song Paris, is not finished yet, but she really wants it on the album, so we're doing the mixing and vocals for it, I the hopes that inspiration will struck and she'll finish it. As I'm singing I keep thinking that the way she describes she's feeling about Joe, it's the way I feel about Austin, only I can't scream it from the top of lung like her, I have to keep it private. When the word private comes to my mind something in my brain clicks I tell Jack to keep playing the beat for a little longer.

" Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours

levitate above all the messes made

sit quiet by my side in the shade

and not the kind that's thrown

but the kind under where a tree has grown"

After I finish I take my headphones down and come out of the recording booth, seeing Taylor's and Jack's knowing looks. "That was amazing, Taylor you're up next" Jack says, getting back to his computer, putting together the vocals and such. "Ahah right away, then you're gonna tell me who this person that has you so in love is" Taylor teases before going into the booth to record the verse I just wrote.

Later in the car on the way to her place where she and I will have dinner with Joe, like we usually do, I fidget around nervously. "It's Austin isn't it? He's the one you love?" She asks, looking at me and taking my hands in hers, to stop me from picking at my skin. I look at her, scared for her reaction and all words leave me as I simply nod. What she does, takes me by surprise, when she brings me close and hugs me resting her chin on my head. "If he make you happy, I'm willing to give him a chance." She promises, squeezing me tight in her arms. "Thank you, it means so much to be able to finally tell you." I giggle, the weight already off my chest. "I hope you know now you've got to arrange a meet between me and him, preferably a double date at your place maybe?" She says. "Deal." I agree, happy to have her support.

August 2022

"Agh I'm so nervous, this is too much for me to handle" my hands are shaking holding the champagne glass, looking at the huge projected screen counting down the seconds until my album goes live on streaming. "It's going to be so amazing, my darling, trust me (y/n)" Austin tells me, squeezing my shoulders in a comforting way, kissing my cheek. For the past months I've slowly been introducing Austin to my close friends, so when I decided to host my birthday party and my album release party, privately at my New York apartment, I decided it was safe to invite him. "You think so?" I ask furrowing my brows, creasing my forehead with concern. Austin smooths his hands down my arms, his electric touch sending shivers down my spine. "I know so." he smiles at me so confident.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I put my glass to his lips and he tilts his head back, drinking the remaining liquor. He licks his lips sensually, dipping down to kiss me, but I see Taylor approaching in my peripheral vision, so I turn my head to the side, so his lips touch my cheek instead. "Hi Taylor!" I say, moving out of Austin's embrace, to hug her tightly. "Happy birthday my mastermind!" She says, squeezing me as hard as she can. I feel Austin shift uncomfortably behind me, so I can only imagine she's giving him a death stare. Taylor was the one who probably took it the hardest when I told her about me and him, she loves me and she's very protective of me. Taking caution from her previous relationships with age gaps such as mine and Austin's. "Hello Taylor, nice to meet you in person!" Austin says, extending a hand for her to shake, this is the first time they meet officially, he knows she's not too fond of him. I try to give her my best pleading look, while trying to be subtle about it and Taylor understands, her gaze softening a bit. "Likewise Austin, glad to see you're here supporting her, it means a lot to her!"

"I know it does." Austin tells her truthfully, snaking an arm around my waist. "So are you excited, only 10 minutes until it goes live." Taylor moves her eyes on me, looking excited. A set of arms wraps around her waist and Joe's head pops from the side, resting on her shoulder. "(Y/n) happy birthday, 20 looks good on you." Joe says in his strong British accent, smiling wholeheartedly. "Aw thank you Joe! I'm actually freaking out right now, what if everybody hates it?" I start stressing out again, all kinds of thoughts taking over my head once again as my heart rate picks up and my hands go clammy with sweat. "Hey, hey, none of that, you have a beautiful voice and you wrote beautiful songs, people would be crazy not to love them." Taylor assures me, taking my hands in hers, smoothing her fingers over my knuckles. "She's right, it's gonna be amazing, you're so so talented." Austin chimes in, agreeing with Taylor. "Austin man, mind grabbing a glass? Let's leave the girls do their thing." Joe proposes, leading Austin to the bar, to get a drink.

Taylor hooks her arm around mine and starts walking me to the balcony to get some fresh air. "You know I think I'm slowly working my way to liking him, you guys are cute, I'll give you that." I giggle at her confession, curling a strand of hair behind my ear. "He's sweet, he's been by my side through all of this, he calms me down."

"Well that's good, doesn't mean I won't keep my eye on him." She tells me, squeezing my arm. "Well it's good to know I have friends I can count on." I lean my head on her shoulder, looking out at the New York lights, the city looks so magical at night. "I just don't want you to go through the pain I did, when I felt like everything hurt, every single action was excruciating." She sighs. "Heartbreak is inevitable, I don't think me and Austin are forever, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know." I admit my thoughts, this is the first time saying this out loud, though I've thought it for a while now. I love Austin, of course I do and it's not to say that I don't think he loves me, but I have to keep a grip on reality and the possibility that he might leave some day. "Don't!" Taylor warns, taking a step away, turning me to look at her. She places her hands on my shoulders, softly shaking me, like trying to wake me up, her blue eyes looking straight into mine. "If there's one thing I've learned from every relationship I've had, is that if you keep anticipating the bad outcome, there's always a good chance it'll happen. Austin may not be forever, but he might also be, you don't know and you can't keep jinxing yourself."

Tears well in my eyes and I nod, a soft whimper escaping past my lips, turning into a sob, as she pulls me into her arms, to hug me. "I'm so scared Taylor, I feel paralyzed, soon all of the songs I wrote about my parents, my feelings, about Austin, everything.. it'll just be out there. And then I have to admit to myself that me and Austin won't be able to keep this hidden for much longer, I'm so sa-" my voice breaks as I fist the material of her dress, clinging onto her. "Oh (y/n) it'll all be ok, just breathe ok? Please!" Taylor tries to calm me down, but I'm livid at this point shaking in her arms, hot streams of slat running down my cheek and into my mouth. "(Y/n)? Taylor? Guys?" A all too familiar voice calls out, slow steps approaching. "Oh my sœur, my sweet little sister, what's wrong? Joe and Austin said you two walked out on the balcony, is everything ok?" Timmy asks, smoothing a hand down my back. "We just need a minute, how long until midnight?" Taylor asks, rocking me in her arms. "Four minutes on the clock." Timmy tells her, causing a much louder sob to go past my lips as the fear of the inevitable release of everything I've worked so hard for approaches. "Ok, go in there, we'll be in at the right time." Taylor assures.

Timmy kisses my temple, then leaves me and Taylor as we were before, alone in the hot august night. "You have one more minute to cry, then we will wipe those tears away and go in there. You'll act like the superstar that you are and claim every good thing coming your way, I know it can be scary to have you're feelings served on a plate for everyone to see, but once they are out and you see that everyone feels or has felt like that, you won't be so scared anymore." She wipe my tears with a tissue she pulled out of the pocket of her dress. My lips shiver in a shy smile, as I breathe deep. "Ok, I'm a superstar, I'm gonna be great." I repeat her words, trying to convince myself, the fact that she looks so sure of it, helping a bit. "Come on, we don't want to miss the release." She drags me back into the apartment, all my fiends are gathered around the screen projector, looking at the huge numbers counting down, champagne glasses in their hands, ready to toast.

"Five, four, three, two, one..." people count out loud, then clapping and music erupts, shaking the room alive as Timmy and Joe pop some confetti. I let go of Taylor's hand, my eyes scanning the room for the one I want to see the most. A pair of arms catches me, turning me around to face the person. My face inches away from Austin's. "I love you, congratulations!" He whispers, before placing his soft plush lips on mine, moving slowly and tender, bringing me to life, every cell in my body becoming overcharged with serotonin. My head thuds against my rib cage and I lace my fingers through his silky hair. "I love you too!" I tell him, as he lets me go, so I can circle the room and hug everyone here. It's not a big party but all the important people are here, except my parents. Now, my mom wanted to come, but she couldn't take so much time off work and dad, well I still haven't gotten around to talking to him.

After hugging Billie and her brother, I move on, ending up face to face with Joshua. "Congratulations! I'll be rooting for you at the Grammys!" He jokes, making me laugh as I drag him into a tight hug. "That reaching but I think that just for tonight I'll entertain it." I say, smiling. "Well we'd hope so!" Roxanne says, coming to his side, kissing his cheek. They started seeing each a few months ago, after she came along for a studio session with him. "Very funny, have fun!" I wish them moving on to the next person.

At the end of the night I'm pretty tired and my feet hurt like hell from being squeezed into those very uncomfortable, but very beautiful heels. "An outstanding piece of art from a young upcoming singer, best known for her Oscar worthy performance. A raw, bone shattering audio experience, a journey through the ups and downs of the teenage years..."

"Oh my lord, stop stop, that's enough!" I say, crawling over the bed to reach Austin and take the phone out of his hand. "Hey it's on rolling stone, it must be legit." He says, bending down to kiss my lips. "Maybe." I mumble moving my soft lips against his. My hands roam his torso, until they reach the collar of his shit. With a little tug, I fall on my back, dragging him along. Austin chuckles against my mouth, using one hand to prompt himself up so that he doesn't squish me underneath him. My thoughts are going at a thousand miles per hour and my hands find purchase in his blonde locks of hair, scratching at his scalp, resulting in a long breathy moan to escape him. My hips lift off of the mattress unconsciously, my pelvis brushing against his. Austin grunts, grinding his crotch against mine, placing his free hand on my thigh, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist.

We're a panting mess of bodies colliding, the clothes between us restricting us from feeling the warmth of each other fully, so I grab at his shit that's tugged into his pants, snaking my hands underneath the cotton material, to feel his soft burning flesh with the tips of my fingers. Austin's lips move along my jaw, taking their sweet time in loving that one spot right below my ear, that has me going crazy. "Austin.." I sigh, pleasure traveling through my bloodstream enveloping my whole body, I feel the arousal starting to gather in my underwear and I need more, so I move my hips against him harder, searching for that release. Austin's hand ghosts over my thigh, lifting my dress up, then stopping on my hipbone he pushes me into the mattress.

"(Y/n), baby? How far do you want to go?" Austin asks me, his fingers digging into my flesh holding me in place against the mattress. "All the way, I- I need you." I whine, trying to get free out of his grip, but to no avail. Austin freezes above me, then slowly moves back a bit, putting some distance between us, to look at my face. His blue orbs look over my crimson complexion, analyzing every freckle and every wrinkle, looking for the smallest drop of doubt. "Are you s-sure you're ready? I've told you before, you don't have to, I love you!"

Austin has always been considerate, ever since we started dating and I told him about being a virgin he assured me that I should never feel pressured into changing that. And I never have, but I've dreamed maybe even wished that it would happen and that he would be the one to do it.

I push my hips up fighting he's strong hold on my hip, whining for his touch, feeling starved in a way I've never felt before. Austin's breath gets a bit jagged and his hand resting on the side of my head, fists the bed sheets. "Ok baby, anything for you, anything!" He promises putting his lips back on mine, consuming my entire soul with his wet kiss. I lift my head off of the bed to follow his sweet soft lips when he pulls back. Austin's hand leaves my hip, coming to stroke my left cheek gently, his skin feeling electric against mine. His ocean blue eyes travel over my face, following my every feature like his willing to have my face engraved in his memory forever. The glimmer in the sky colored orbs watching me, melts my heart, it makes heat travel all over my body and stop in between my legs, so I rub my thighs together, trying to get some relief. The action does not go unnoticed by Austin and a boyish smile appears on his face.

I blush a deep shade of pink, trying to hide my face in the palm of his hand. "Nah no doing that, eyes on me honey! Good, now tell me what you want!" I open my mouth to speak only a bit scared to voice my desire, but his loving glare calms me down. "I want you to make love to me, Austin. Be mine!" I tell him, cupping his face this both of my hands, smoothing the skin on his cheeks. "I'm yours, I've always been, always will be!" His eyes so full of honesty and love, there's no doubt that what's between us, is real and genuine. I pull him in, only to miss his lips right before they touch mine, turning his head to whisper in his ear. "Show me!" My words sound like a dare and his whole body trembles in response.

Instantly his lips are on mine, drinking me in, moving in an orchestrated manner. Austin's hands roam my body and he shifts around the bed, placing a leg in between my thighs, angling it up, putting pressure right her I crave it. I sigh in pleasure, moving my hips over his thigh, wanting more than just the peer pressure his leg provides. I'm wearing thin nylons under my dress and he uses one hand to rip them apart. "Aus!" I gasp pulling back to see him smirk. "I'll buy you a dozen more, now let me make you feel good." He says stealing the breath out of me. His hands settle on my hips, moving me along his thigh, the friction sending electric shocks of pleasure through me. I grasp onto him, keeping him as close as possible, while he keeps my hips moving. I feel me sleek coating his pant leg and I squeeze my thighs around his muscular thigh. Austin keeps a steady pace, speaking quietly in my ear, telling me how much he loves me. "Let go baby, realx, come on!" He encourages me and my orgasm takes over me leaving me a shaky breathless pile of bones and muscles.

Austin gets up from the bed, taking a step back to look at me, catching his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You look so fucking beautiful like this, spread out for me, cheeks rosy" he bites his lip, slowly starting to undress himself, unbuckling his belt. On cue I start to lift my dress over my head, but he shakes his head, stopping me. "I want to do it, just be patient my darling." His voice rasps, filling me with excitement.

Soon he stands bare in front of me and I can't help but roam my eyes over his form, I've seen him naked before, but for some reason right now feels like it the first time. "Like the view?" Austin quirks a brow at me, chuckling. "Maybe!" I giggle, licking my lips, the action wiping the smirk off his face. Austin comes closer, bending down to take both of my hands in his, lifting me up in a sitting position. "You're the best thing to happen to me." He tells me truthfully. I touch his face, smoothing the wrinkles by his eyes, then ghosting my finger tips over his plump lips. "I love you Austin, thank you for being mine." I kiss him forcefully, as his hand grab the hem of my dress, slowly lifting it up my body, his burning flesh teasing my, leaving goosebumps all over. We have to break apart when he reaches my head and we both laugh when the sequences of the dress get stuck in my hair.

Now here I am, naked in front of this man that watches me like I'm the only thing he's ever known to look at. His eyes glimmer in a way I can't describe and his hands follow the shape of my body without touching me, like he's scared I'm going to perish if he dares to lay a hand on my. I grab his wrists and guide his hands to cup my bare breast, the moment our skins make contact his eyes snap at me, pulling me into a deep stare. There's something so carnal about this, just to people in love, looking into each other's eyes. I let go of his wrists and move to take off my panties and ripped nylons, finally leaving myself completely bare for him to see. Austin's eyes never leave mine, as on of his hands moves over to my hip, the other snaking around my torso. Carefully he lifts me up, placing me in the middle of my bed, hovering over me.

"Are you scared? You're so quiet." Austin asks, brushing the hair out of my face. "No, I think you've left me speechless." I smile, brushing my hands through his hair. "As flattering as that is, I want you to tell me if you need me to stop. Eyes on me (y/n)!"

"I will, I promise! I'm ok now." I assure him and he nods his head, coming down to kiss me. "I need a condom, fuck I- I don't have any." Austin suddenly realizes, looking apologetic. "I'm so sorry baby, I just, I don't carry one around and I-" I start laughing at his frantic way of apologizing. Their is my Austin, always so sweet and considerate, not to say polite. Him not having a condom on hand tells me that this is as unexpected for him as it is for me. "I have an idea." I say trying to hold my laugh in. "What?" He looks rather skeptic of me. "I know Timmy has some, I could go sneak in and take some."

Austin instantly looks terrified. "And risk getting killed on your birthday?" I can't hold my amusement in anymore. "I'm glad my eminent death amuses you." He says trying to sound angry, but unable to hide his laugh. "Well technically, it's way over midnight, so it's no longer my birthday and I'll be careful." I say, sliding from underneath him, grabbing my silk robe and tying it around me. "(Y/n) are you sure? We can do this tomorrow, or when you want to, we don't have to rush." I bend down to give him a quick kiss. "I want to now, I'll be right back." I turn around walking out of the room and closing the door behind me.

I tiptoe through the quiet house and I can hear Timmy in the kitchen talking on the phone, so I quickly sprint to his room, going straight to the bathroom. I search every drawer and cabinet, finally finding the condoms, grabbing two and putting them in the pocket of my robe. As I close the cabinet door and get ready to leave I hear the door to his room open and close. "Fuck fuck..." I look around for an excuse of why I'm here, this late and naked. I grab the toothpaste tube and decide I'm just gonna lie about needing it.

The bathroom door opens and I'm met eye to eye with him. "Can I help you sœur?" He asks, looking confused. "Um I just needed to borrow toothpaste, I ran out." I explain nervously, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. "Okay?" He doesn't seem to believe me. "Well thanks!" I smile trying to get past him and out the door. "Can you bring that back when you're done? I need to brush my teeth as well." He says and I curse myself for not thinking about that. "Oh well I'm actually so tired, I think I'll just take some now." I say, opening the tube and squeezing some toothpaste onto my finger. "Here you go, have a great night." I tell him, handing back the tube and running out the door. "Ok wiredo.." he mumbles as I walk fast back to my room.

In my room Austin waits for me on the bed, with his arm folded under his head and everything on display. "You made it. With toothpaste?" He jokes, getting up from the bed, hugging my waist and spinning me around onto the bed, to end up where we left off, with me under him. "Timmy walked in in me, I had to find an excuse for being there." I explain taking a tissue form my bedside table and wiping the toothpaste off. Austin laugh shaking his head in disbelief. I slide my hand in the pocket of my robe and pull out the two condoms, holding them up. "Two? You plan to seduce me more than once tonight?" Austin smiles at me, coming down to pepper kisses all over my face. "Maybe." I tease, getting lost in the feeling of his lips traveling over my skin. "Well to be honest you don't have to try to hard" he confesses, kissing down my neck, reaching the spot under my ear, sucking and turning me to jello in his arms. His hands walk over my silk covered form, untying the robe and letting it fall open. Austin places the palm of his hand on my lower stomach, slowly inching it down, teasing me by taking a second to play with my hair. "Please!" I beg, lifting my hips off the mattress, willing him to touch me. "Patient baby, I need to open you up a bit, I don't want it to hurt." He says breathing ragged.

Finally his skilled finger touches my clit, drawing slow circles, pleasure cursing through me, enveloping me whole. "Aus.." I moan pulling at his hair, causing him to let out a guttural groan. "(Y/n)." His fingers work me like magic, his thumb applying pressure to my clit while his forefinger teases me hole. Slowly he enters one finger, pumping it in and out at a slow pace, curving it up, to massage that spongy spot inside me, making my legs shake. "I'm gonna add another one baby, ok? Just breathe for me." Austin instructs me and I nod my head, unable to reply as my voice gets knocked out of me. His long fingers work me open, gentle and slow, the stinging of the stretch being gone very soon. I feel the bubble of pleasure start to form in my belly and I start breathing faster. Austin moves down my chest to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his hot tongue around the sensitive bud.

Right when I feel about to reach my peak, his long fingers disappear, leaving me whining and wanting more. "What-" his lips on mine silence me. "Take off the robe baby, I want to feel all of you." As I work on getting my robe off, he takes his shaft in hand, pumping himself a few times, quiet curses going past his lips. "Fuck the way you watch me kills me baby, you know that (y/n)?" He asks, taking one condom, opening it and rolling it on slowly. Everything suddenly feels so real and when he clears his throat to catch my attention, I realize I was frozen. "(Y/n) we don't have to, I told you." I quickly shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck to pull him back over me. "It's not that, I just-" I'm a bit ashamed to voice my fears, but looking into Austin's eyes I see that I have nothing to fear. "What if I'm not good enough and I don't make you feel good?" I whisper.

"My darling love, when it comes to you it's not just sex, never was, never will be, it's about showing each other how much love we have for one another. And to be honest sex feels good for guys almost no matter what, only a jerk would tell a girl she doesn't know how to please him. Ok? I love you!" Austin caresses my cheek, kissing my lips. I feel my heart gallop in my chest and the second I feel his hard on, touch my inner thigh I'm reminded of the desire I have for him. "I love you too." I tell him, kissing him back. "I know, I'm going to try ok? If it hurts to much, just tell me and I'll stop." Austin promises, looking into my eyes. "Yes, I promise."

I feel his head nudge my entrance, my breath hitches in the back of my throat and anxiety builds in my chest, up his eyes never leave me. I wince at the sudden sting and he freezes. "Keep going it's ok." I say, and though he looks skeptical, he keeps going. When he's fully inside me and his pelvis touches mine, I feel complete. I wish I could describe better how the way we're now conjoined makes me feel so at peace and so safe. "Are you ok?" Austin asks one of his big hands cupping my breast and twisting my nipple between his fingers. I moan loudly, throwing my head back, screwing my eyes shut. "Yess, move, oh god." A low grunt escapes Austin and he starts to move, his head hitting my g-spot with every thrust. "You're so tight, squeezing me so good, God I wish to stay like this forever." He whines, moving his hips at a steady pace. I get more confident and start moving my hips to meet his thrusts. "Shit Aus, feels so good.... Love you so much."

"I love you too!" His hands touch every patch of skin, exploring me, memorizing every inch of my body and I do the same, touching every part of him I can. Austin moves on of his hands back to my clit, stimulating it, making me squeeze around him. "You close baby? Look at me." He demands and I follow his request, making eye contact with him and feeling closer to my orgasm. "I'm so close, Aus, don't stop." He gives me a sloppy grin, kissing the tip of my nose. "I'm close too honey." He says, moving a bit faster. At this point we're just two piles of bones and muscle, whimpering and chasing our pleasure. Austin keeps playing with my clit and soon my orgasm hits me like a brick wall, pleasure washing over me like a cold shower, making everything blurry. "Austin." I moan, feeling him twitch inside me, as he freezes on top of me, moaning loudly. "(Y/n)"

When we both come back to reality he gets up, to throw the condom in the trash, then he scoops me up into his arms and carries me to the bathroom, turning the shower on. We take turns on washing each other, cracking jokes. "I love using your stuff I smell like you and it feels like you're with me all the time." Austin tells me, kissing my lips and working my conditioners through my hair. "I love you so much." I say, looking into his eyes. "I love you too."

December 2022

"Mom, the timer is done, I think your chicken is cooked." I scream from the kitchen, busy cracking some eggs for the cake I'm baking, tonight we plan a surprise birthday party for Timothee, so I'm doing all the baking while mom take care of the cooking. She and I kept on talking over the past months and while she's keen on staying at her new job in Nevada she visits now. Don't ask about my dad, neither of us got the courage to contact him just yet, but it's on my goal list for next year. "Oh Jesus, why must this skinny white boy have as his favorite food, your father's secret chicken recipe?" I giggle, adding flour to my mix. "Mom if it were secret, you wouldn't be able to cook it right now." She flips me off, making us both laugh as she gets the delicious food put the oven.

"So I think I got the karaoke system to work, but I won't put my money on it." Austin comes in the kitchen. "Oh miss. (Mother/n) that smells so good." He compliments my mom, coming over to my side to dip a finger into the frosting I made. "Hey, wash your hands first, now put it in the fridge please." I ask politely and he complies, giving me a quick kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you Austin, dear!" My mom smiles at him.

She met Austin a month ago and despite our big age difference she seems to be quite fond of him. She told me however to be careful, but other than that she welcomed him in. "So when is everyone showing up?" Austin asks, leaning against the kitchen counter. I look over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. "In two hours, but Roxanne and Joshua should be here any minute." I tell him, singling for him to bring the cake pan over so I could pour the mixture in it and pop it in the oven. "I'm happy the are still going strong." Austin speaks, opening the oven for me to slide the cake in. "Yeah, they seem happy." They've actually been going steady for a few months now and anyone who watches them sees that they have a great time together and that they love each other dearly.

"So any songs you want to do tonight?" Austin teases, walking me over to the living room to show me the karaoke station he installed. "Hm not really."

"Give it a try?" Austin hands me a microphone, helping me up onto the small stage he put together. "Ok, any requests?" I ask, smiling at him. "Surprise me." I think a bit about what song I want to do and decide to do one that's not yet on streaming, one I wrote a while and recorded not so long ago. "Ok, ready?"

New York back in August 10 floor balcony

smoke is floating over Jane and Greenwich Street

goosebumps from your wild eyes

when they're watching me

shivers danced down my spine

head down to my feet

swimming in your eyes in your eyes Egyptian blue

some thing I've never had without you

you're giving me chills at 100°

it's better than pills how you put me to sleep

Calling your name the only language I can speak

taking my breath a souvenir that you can keep

"When did you write that one I don't think I've heard it before is it about me?" Austin teases coming over to take me into his arms and kiss my cheek. I giggle putting the microphone down and circling my arms around his neck looking straight into his eyes "Yeah I wrote it about you what gave it away?" Austin shrugs his shoulders smiling at me playing with my braids between his fingers "Maybe it was the part about giving you shivers" I laugh tilting my head back "Oh really I thought it would've been the part about Egyptian blue eyes" he chuckles softly. "That part too, I guess." I shake my head at him, kissing his pink lips, licking my own when we break apart. "Is that my lip balm?" Austin blushes and pulls the lip balm tube out of the pocket his sweatpants applying some. "Dork" I say slapping his shoulder, making him feign hurt.

"Would you love birds stop all the smooching" Roxanne says walking into the living room with Joshua in hand. "Hey man!" Austin says reaching a hand out to shake Joshua's, then he goes to hug Roxanne. "Roxy, ever bubbly." Austin teases. "Hi Roxy, Joshua." I say. "Butler, ever a golden retriever, go fetch." She jokes, throwing an invisible ball. "Easy tiger!" Joshua pats her shoulder, kissing her cheek.

"Everything looks nice, is the cake ready? Can I taste some?" She asks excitedly. "Thank you and no, not yet." Just then my alarm rings for me to take the cake out. "You think you boys could fend for yourselfs while me and Roxy make the cake?" I ask, looking between Austin and Joshua. "I think we'll be fine." Austin responds, Joshua agreeing. "Ok, come on Rox, I'll let you eat the extra frosting."

"Hey that's not fair, I want some as well." Joshua says walking out way, only to get pulled back by Austin. "We'll steal some later, let the girls have their own moment" Austin winks my way, making me blush.

"Oh hello Roxanne!" My mom says, as she works on the smashed potatoes. "Hi miss" Roxy says back, hoping on the counter and watching me take the cake out of the oven and pouring syrup over it to cool it of and get it moist. "So Joshua was saying that he was thinking a trip to Rome might be nice for new year's. He said you and Austin should come along and if Timmy keeps things steady with Lily-Rose he should bring her." I get excited for a minute only to deflate the next. "What about paparazzi? You know me and Austin want to keep this as hidden as possible."

"We would rent a vineyard air b&b outside of Rome, keep away from the big city, maybe visit some of the villages around." The plan sounds great, but not bulletproof. "Paparazzi could still find us." She shrugs her shoulders, taking a spoon and helping herself to some of the frosting. "At this point you've been together for what? 10 months?" I nod. "And you love each other, if they find you, the last thing you should do is listen to their stupid speculations and talk, you and Austin know the truth of your love story ."

"I'll have to think a bit more about it. Ok?" She understands and tells me that I still have a few days until Joshua has to confirm how many people will be staying at the place he rented.

The party starts soon after our conversation and we all have a great time, singing and enjoying good food. At the end of the night when me and Austin put ourselves to bed I tell him about Roxy's invite and he tells me Joshua brought it up to him as well, as far as he's concerned he is willing to take the risk. "I love you and you love me, we both know what we have it's true, so what does it matter if they find us." I agree with him in the end, deciding that maybe yes we should go with our friends and enjoy new year's with them, but the anxiety of being found out doesn't necessarily leave me.

February 2023

The Grammys

"And the Grammy goes to..." Dua Lipa, makes a slight pause to read the winner off of the card and I hold my breath, having so many feelings at once. Taylor holds my hand under the table, also watching the stage closely, waiting for the moment the tell us who won. "(Y/n), Someone who loves you (wouldn't do this)" my song "everything I wanted" starts playing and there's screams from everywhere, feel Taylor hug me, lifting me up from the chair and pushing me towards the stage. She, Finneas, Jack, Billie and Joshua join me on the stage as I accept my award.

" I can't say that when I was making this album I ever thought it would be nominated for a Grammy and then it would get to win a Grammy. I poured my heart into this project and every single one of the people on this stage tonight can tell you how many tears I've cried over these songs and how difficult it was for me to open up to the world in the way that I did. It's more than just a dream to see my words be transported from my journal entries into songs into streaming platforms and then into your homes and hearts. I am so honored and so happy and I want to thank my family, my friends, my love, and my record label and the Academy for the amazing opportunity that they've offered me tonight thank you!"

After the great ceremony and a few more awards, I finally get to go home, missing Taylor's after party, since I'm too tired to attend. When the elevator doors open to my apartment, I'm met with a huge arrangement of flowers, from purple star flowers to sun flowers and peonies, all my favorite flowers, filling the room with their incredible aroma. "...my love" I hear my voice say as Austin comes into view holding his phone, turning the recording of my speech off. "You found a way to thank me, you didn't have to." He says, scooping me up into his arms. "That was exactly what I needed to do, dandelions was my first number one hit." I remind him kissing his cheek, as he carries me to my bedroom and into the bathroom where he prepared a relaxing bath for me.

Golden Globes evening

" Good evening everybody, I want to start off by thanking the Golden Globes for giving me the honor of presenting an award this year. The first time I ever attended the Golden Globes ceremony I was Timothée Chalamet's +1 it happened in 2016 and I met Taylor Swift. If you would've told me back then that getting to talk to Taylor would change what my future would look like forever, I probably wouldn't have believed you so I have a lot of things to thank the Golden Globes for. Last year I was nominated for a couple of words I even won a few but I couldn't attend so this year it was mandatory for me to be here. I am excited to announce the category for the best actor, on our list we have nominees who have given us amazing performances of incredible characters, bringing to screen pure and raw emotion pouring their soul and entire being into these personas that they've taken responsibility to portray. Here's a list of our nominees for best actor" I wait for the promoter to read the nominees, hoping that my reaction to Austin's name being called out, wasn't too much.

The room is quiet and it's my turn again to speak, with shaking hands, I hold the golden envelope up. " In this year's winner for best actor is" I pause opening the envelope and as soon as my eyes make out the name written on the card, they fill with tears that quickly blink back. " Austin Butler for Elvis, Congratulations!" My voice tremors and I feel like my entire body could explode with joy and excitement for Austin. After hugging Baz and his father Austin, runs over to the stage, coming my way with teary eyes. On reflex he hugs me and picks me up off the ground, squeezing me tight, so I have to remember him about where we are. "Careful baby!" He puts me down, taking the award and mouthing a silent 'sorry'.

After he gives his speech, we both get down from the stage and I walk over to his table to make small talk with Baz and Priscilla and meet Lisa Marie for the first time. "(Y/n) always a pleasure to see you, you look beautiful, honey." Priscilla says, putting back in place some pieces of hair that fell out of place. "Thank you and it's a pleasure to meet you miss Presley" I say to Lisa, extending my hand out to shake, but she surprises me by giving me a big hug. "Oh please it's Lisa, I was so sad we didn't get to talk at the premiere last year and I'm so happy so finally get to see you." I blush at all the nice commentary coming my way, making small talk for the rest of the night.

A few days later

I'm still in L.A. after the golden globes working in getting some auditions for some new exciting roles, I'm staying over at Austin's house, which I think by now a lot of people know. There were some pictures of him picking me up from the air port before the awards, but nothing too scandalous to confirm we're more than just friends.

Austin is in his office, working on some online interviews, having doubled his press due to the Oscars being in a couple of weeks. I can hear him softly talk and laugh to the interviewer and it makes me smile, knowing how sad and worried he's been for the last day. He received news from Baz who heard from Priscilla, that Lisa Marie was rushed to the hospital last night and since then Austin's just been packed with nerves and anxiety, he formed a strong bond her. Not to say he's under pressure for the Oscar nominations, being announced in two days from now.

As I scroll through my phone, Austin's phone rings, he left it here with me to take any calls or messages while he's busy with interviews. I see the id caller being Baz, so I decide it's safe to answer. "Austin?" Baz's voice comes through the phone, worry and sadness evident in his tone and my mind goes directly to Lisa Marie. "It's me Baz, Austin is in an interview right now." I hear Baz sigh. "Well maybe it's better like this maybe he'll take the news better coming from you." I know what this means, I know it so well, it hurts before he says it, my heart filling with hurt and sadness, tears breaming my eyes. "Just say it." All this wait is killing me. "Lisa Marie didn't make it, the memorial is a week form now at Graceland, both you and Austin are invited to come. I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news." I wipe the few falling tears from my cheeks, breathing deep. "That's ok Baz, thanks for telling me, I'll tell Austin when he's free, we'll talk soon, take care." I end the call and cry for a few good minutes, but I decide to be strong for Austin and I wipe my face and sit reading my script, while closely listening for him to be done with his interview.

When I hear him say goodbye to the interviewer and close his laptop, I get up form the couch and walk over to his office. The door is closed so that way, neither William or Simba could walk in and bomb his interview. I knock quietly and open the door. Austin, who was resting his head on his hands, ruffling his hair, lifts his eyes up to look at me. "(Y/n) have you been crying? What's-" I sit down on the leather couch in his office and pat the spot next to me. "Sit with me." Austin looking worried, listens to me, no questions asked, sitting down next to me. "Baz called, he," I take a deep breath. "He told me Lisa didn't make it, the memorial is next week at Graceland."

As I speak he doesn't seem to hear me talk anymore, his eyes filled with tears. He falls limb into my arms and cries with his face buried into my chest. I feel his hot tears soak into my shirt and his hands grip the cotton material harder, almost ripping it off of me. I try to soothe him, but the best thing I can do right now, is let him cry in my arms.

After a good hour or so of crying he fell asleep on the couch with his head in my lap, it was good thinking I got my phone with me when I left the living room, cause he had another interview scheduled for today, so I texted his agent James and told him that Austin isn't going to be able to do them. James, being Austin's best friend since they were little kids, understood perfectly, giving me green light to let Austin rest.

About three hours into his sleep, I need to use the bathroom really bad, so I unlatch his hands from around my waist and get up to go to the bathroom. As I'm washing my hands I hear him call my name, thinking he's up, I call back. "In the downstairs bathroom Aus." But I don't hear anyone approach, which worries me. I still hear him calling my name over and over again and I realize he's not awake, he's just sleep talking, something he does when he's very nervous.

I find him still on the couch in his office, asleep and mumbling my name. I squeeze next to him on the small couch and find my stop into his arms, instinctively he hugs me close, burying his nose into my hair and breathing in my scent. I don't know how long we stay like that, but by the time his eyes flutter open, the sun outside is setting. His hazy blue eyes watch me. "Is it real?" He asks, new tears pricking his eyes. "It is, baby." He holds me close to his chest, breathing in and out quietly.

A little over a week later

I attended the funeral with Austin, which made sense since I was close to the family outside my relationship with him, there were a few photos of me and him at the event, but we were both in mourning and us hugging didn't look too out of character. But to be honest at this point I don't think we care to hide the relationship anymore, we just want to be happy.

After the funeral Austin decided to fly back to New York with me, where we are now. Tonight the Oscar nominations are announced and I'm so so nervous for him, he really deserves it and I know deep down he wants it so badly. "Ready for bed honey?" He asks, coming into my bedroom and setting into bed next to me. "Do you really think you could sleep?" I ask as he puts his head into my stomach. "If you sing to me, please." He asks politely, so how could I refuse him?

One night a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could've been lights

but it might just have been you

passing by unbeknownst to me

life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

and my flight was awful

thanks for asking

I am unglued

thanks to you

and it's like snow at the beach

weird but fucking beautiful

flying in a dream stars by the pocketful

you wanting me tonight feels impossible

but it's coming down no sound it's all around

like snow at the beach

Though Austin falls asleep soon enough, I can't find rest for the whole night, so at 7am I'm at the kitchen counter, drinking a big cup of coffee, looking out the window and listening to the nomination announcement. When they reach the best actor category, my heart stops and I hold my breath. Finally they say it, they say he name, I'm so excited I don't have the patience to stay and watch the rest of the ceremony to see what other nominations hie movie gets, this one was the one I cared for the most.

I Find him still soundlessly asleep, his phone buzzing on his nightstand. I pick it and see it's James. "James hi, I'll wake him up now so sorry." James his agent sighs, chuckling. "That's ok, tell him to call me when he can, but an hour later max, understood?" I promise James that I'll get Austin to call him no later than an hour from now and end the call. "Aus.." I shake him awake gently and he opens his blue eyes for me. "Baby?"

"It's here Aus, you, made it, you got the nomination." As soon as the words leave my mouth he, sits up , looking for his phone. "You'll call James later, look at me Austin, I'm so proud of you, congratulations." I say cupping his face in my hands and kissing him. I can't believe I get to live in the moment with him.

March 2023

The Oscars

"This year every time we went to the cinema we had an incredible experience watching amazing actors put on a show for us, we saw personalities portrayed in ways we've never seen before from the electric magic of Elvis to the magnificent sad story of the Whale, we have experienced pain, love, fear, happiness all in one, all at the same time. We got drunk on the feeling of pure joy and pure excitement watching these incredible human beings play out on our screen. Tonight we honor them, we offer a token of our appreciation for the hard work that has been put into these movies. Here is the list of nominees for this year's best actor in a drama." My palms are sweaty and watch Austin holding hands with Angela Basset, while his dad has a hand on his shoulder for the two behind. I see the hope in his eyes and when in handed the envelope with the results, I say a little prayer for him. " Austin Butler for Elvis."

I can't believe it, he doesn't seem to believe it either as he sits frozen in his chair. "Austin it's you, you did it, you won, come up, you won." Finally he wakes up, standing and running over to the stage, not missing a beat when it comes to hugging me. I feel his tears on my cheek and it makes me so happy to know all he's worked for payed off. "I love you so so much!" He says letting me go, receiving his award and heading to the mic the give his speech.

"It's a lot to imagine that after four years of hard work, three years of dedicating myself to this incredible person who is no longer with us, but who left us with such an immense legacy , I get to be here on this stage tonight and hold this award in his name. Elvis, he loved acting, he loved movies and this award it's so much for him as it is for me. I want to thank him I want to thank his daughter Lisa for always watching over me. I want to thank my mom who is up there with them looking down at me hopefully so proud of who I am right now and what I managed to do. I want to thank every single person who was by my side in this period of time and who always supported me even when I didn't believe it myself thank you so much!"

After the ceremony and after getting his award engraved with his name we get in the car together, I rest my head on his shoulder as his driver takes us back to my place, so we could change for Baz's after party. "I can't believe it!" Austin whispers, smoothing his fingers over the cold metal of the award. "I can, you work very hard and you reached peoples hearts, you deserve it, own up to it."

July 2023

After the Oscars we were photographed many times together, but the most recent one, which finally confirmed our relationship came out only two days ago, after we had cute date. We were both a little tipsy and while waiting for Matt to come pick us up, we were photographed making out on the side of the street. It feels so weird to have everyone know that we're together, but it also feels good in a way, because now we don't have to hide anymore. Trying to lift my spirits up, Austin booked a trip to Disneyland the day after my birthday, which we chose to celebrate together at his house in L.A, combining both of our birthdays since they are only 9 days apart.

I look down at my lap, at the sleeping Austin, he looks so sweet and peaceful, I think it's finally time that I confirm my love for him online, so I snap a picture of him over my book that I'm reading, posting it to my stories and tagging him. I know this will probably blow out the internet, but I don't care, I'm so in love that I might stop breathing, he and I are approaching two years together and it's so unbelievable, if you've told me two years ago, that Austin would be mine, I probably would've laughed in your face, but it's true and it's of so amazing.

I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us, but I'm hopeful that we'll get through everything, like we have so far, by being open and communicative, by listening to each other, knowing when and where to set boundaries. Dedicating our time to helping each other grow and stay happy and healthy.

All because loving him is golden like daylight and the delicate beginning rush we felt so long ago never seems to leave us, only growing in intensity, fueling us to always come back and be here.

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