#who knows how long its been there though cause it didnt hurt at all

[lordspoooky]

Geh i got some sunburn on me ear

[fallingfor-fics]

Can you please do a one shot of like the abbot crew going out to a gay bar. Melissa and Y/N are secretly dating, and a girl from a different group approaches Melissa but doesn’t no how to take no for an answer. Leading to Y/N stepping in and a bar fight breaks out between the two and the groups they came with. Ending the night with Melissa and Barbara bailing Y/N and the rest of the abbot crew out and Melissa falling in even more love with Y/N for defending her. Maybe some smut if your feeling up to it…I had a dream about it…please and thank youuu😋🫶🏽

Sorry this took so long!

I didnt do it exactly how you asked but I hope you like it still!!

Cat Fight - Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Word count: 5k

Warnings: bar fight, dubcon, all around smut, sex on the kitchen counter without wiping it down first

Summary: basically the ask but no jail time is served lol

Every time you went out with Melissa you always had a blast, you would drink, dance, and talk deep into the night about endless things, and then go home with her. It was one of your favorite weekend activities. This outing was different though because you were being joined by Janine, Jacob, Barbara, and Gregory-- quite the bunch to be tagging along to one of the more popular but casual LGBT bars downtown. You don't even know how it happened but here you were, sitting at the bar squeezed between Jacob and Gregory, sneaking glances at Melissa from two seats down. It's not like you were having a bad time, conversation was fun with the group, and you loved hanging out with them, but weekends were sacred. These short two days were reserved for Melissa since you couldn't express affection all week at school, and rarely spent the night together during the week. But alas, you were cracking jokes to pass the time, and admiring your beautiful girlfriend from afar. 

“I just think its funny that Gregory has been hit on more times tonight by other guys than Jacob has.” Barbara says as she stirs her drink. This causes a laugh from the group but an eye roll from Jacob, and Gregory can be seen shaking his head.

“Well that's what happens when you buy a drink for a guy.” You said smiling and taking a sip. 

“Ok for the last time, I didn't know it was a guy, he had very pretty hair.” he laughed and everyone started to giggle along. You could hear Melissas laugh above all the rest and it warmed your heart. You turned to face the bartender to order a shot, hoping it would keep your mind off her. You had been hiding your relationship for months so you weren't sure why tonight was becoming so difficult and mentally draining. Maybe it was the bar, the place you two always went to and got to be yourselves, or maybe it was just because she wasn't looking at you as much as you were her. Melissa wasn't oblivious to the glances you were sending her way, but she knew better than to allow her eyes to linger a little too long on yours with Barbara and Jacob sitting right there. She was using every ounce of her will power to remain cool and casual.

“I'm getting another. Does anyone want one?” You ask looking around and everyone but Janine and Melissa, who were driving, nodded in agreement. 

“Great. Another round please sweetheart!” you say with a smile to the woman behind the bar and she nods, grabbing the shot glasses. You can feel Melissa's eyes on you and you know it's because of your over-kindness and endearing name you gave to the bartender, but you don't look in her direction and instead try to distract yourself by making conversation with Jacob.

The shots are lined up in front of you and you all say cheers before downing them, you make eye contact with Melissa when you are setting your glass back down and you feel your heart hurt. It's definitely the liquor mixed with general missing her, but you feel another wave of dread come over you. You look to the bartender and tap the shot glass to signal for her to pour another. You can feel Melissa giving you a concerned look but you ignore it. Jacob, Janine, and Gregory get up to go dance and you decide to join them, taking your shot and setting it down, glancing at Melissa and heading to follow them. Melissa watches as you walk to the dance floor with a slight sway in your step and lets out a small sigh. She knows how hard it is for both of you to keep this up sometimes, but it still slightly frustrates her how much you let it affect you on nights like these, when you do things like this in front of her knowing she can't step in to stop you. But she knows you're a grown woman and can handle yourself, so she just watches from the bar, listening to Barb rant about something. 

You are tipsy enough to dance confidently but without embarrassing yourself, you still have a mixed drink in hand so you are conscious of not spilling that, and you don't want to look too trashy with your dancing. You also know Melissa has to be watching you now, so you sway your hips and pull out all the moves that you can do casually but you know will be keeping her eyes glued to you. You make light conversation over the music with the others when suddenly you hear a gasp from Jacob.

“Oh my god guys look, Ms. Schemmenti has a womanly caller.” he snides and everyone looks over with a grin, you turn to look as well and sure enough a skanky looking woman has walked over to Melissa and is standing very close talking to her. 

“I didn't even know she had game like that.” Gregory claims after the woman starts laughing at something Melissa says. You roll your eyes but the group, being nosey as always, casually dances closer to the bar. 

“I mean she's hot but I didn't know she could pull women in a place like this.” Jacob says and they all nod. The group knew you were queer, but Melissa’s previous marriage and overall life confidence kept them from questioning her own sexuality. This fact aided in hiding your relationship and Melissa didn't seem to mind. You can't take your eyes off the scene. The woman is dressed in a body con bright blue dress with cutouts. She should be at a rave in an outfit like that, you think as you take a sip of your drink with a bitter glare. 

“So how about you let me buy you a drink?” the woman says with a smile as she twirls her hair. 

“Thanks, but I'm still working on mine.” Melissa smiles politely as she gestures to her beer in hand. 

“Haha you’re funny! Okay what about shots? On me of course!” the woman tries again and you feel your cheeks grow hot at the way the woman is shamelessly checking Melissa out, taking her in from head to toe. She then reaches up to play with Melissa's hair and you feel yourself stumble a bit as you zone out on her fingers touching Melissa's red hair. Hair that should only have fingers tangled in it if they were your own. You refrained from crushing the cup in your hand as you felt your skin get warm. It was no secret you were an incredibly jealous person, you two had even had this conversation when watching Moulin Rouge one night. You had told Melissa that the representation of love and jealousy in that movie was the perfect example of how you feel in deep relationships. You knew she could feel your gaze burning holes through the blonde that stood next to her

“Look I appreciate the offer, but really I'm okay.” Melissa declined once more and you watched as you finished the rest of your drink and walked back to the bar to get another. Melissa saw you and watched as you talked to the bartender. Barbara stood between you and Melissa and you avoided looking over at her until you had another shot in you at least. You then heard the woman speak up again in her agitating valley accent and rolled your eyes, deciding if you walked away it may have more of an effect on Melissa than if you stood around seething. You walked back to the others and kept dancing but made sure you could still see Melissa. Barbara left the bar to go to the bathroom and you felt a slight instinct to keep a stronger eye on Melissa in case that woman tried anything. You and Melissa made eye contact as you danced and your heart began to race as you couldn't help a small smile form when seeing her sparkling eyes look into yours. She grinned and then looked back over to the woman. 

“How about a dance then?” the woman smirks.

“I don't think my girlfriend will like that very much.” she says and this catches your attention, it was loud enough for you to hear, but the music and singing crowd allowed it to go unheard by the others. You don't stop swaying your hips gently to the music, but you focus in on their conversation again.

“Haha and who is your girlfriend?” the woman says with a cocky tone. 

Melissa gestures to you with a smile, and you look the woman up and down with a glare, looking at Melissa and then back to the other woman.

“Well I don't see much, I can handle her.” she hums and you stop dancing and straighten up as she turns to face you.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Melissa scoffs at the woman.

“Awe, why? Are you worried you might end up enjoying a night with me far more than whatever this loose little girl could ever offer you?” she quips and you feel your fists clench as you make your way over. Melissa straightens up and crosses her arms prepared to defend you when you chime in first. 

“Are you dense? She's clearly not interested.” you mutter to the woman who laughs and Melissa smiles. 

“No, Y/n it's fine she was just leaving.” Melissa says trying to keep the conversation from escalating. 

“Actually, if your girlfriend here really liked you why wouldn't she be out there dancing with you instead of sitting here talking to me?” the woman said with a grin and you shook your head. You knew you couldn't say much and draw the attention of the others but this woman was really getting under your skin for some reason. You saw Barbara coming back from the bathroom and bit your tongue, rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh. 

“Look, just do yourself a favor and walk away.” Melissa said to the woman and she shook her head. 

“No not after an ugly bitch like her called me stupid!” 

The group on the dance floor heard that and all came over to observe, drawing more attention to your friends and now the woman's own friends came to see what was happening. 

“Lex what's going on?” one of her friends asked and she scoffed.

“This whore just called me stupid.” Lex said, clearly very drunk as she slurred her words, and probably under the influence of a little more than alcohol.

“Woah woah woah lets not over react, this isn't the place for this ladies how about you walk away and we all just enjoy our nights.” Gregory spoke up. 

“Nah mind your own business asshole! This is between me and this fucking bitch.” Lex slurred out while doing loud hand gestures. 

You sighed and could feel your face growing flushed and you ran a hand through your hair as you tried to just ignore the woman. It was one thing to call you names, you could be the bigger person and walk away with that, but people being a dick to your friends is not something you care about maintaining decorum for. Still you took a deep breath and turned to get a drink, but you felt a hand shove your shoulder. 

“Yeah walk away like a pussy, leave your girlfriend to a real woman.” Lex mocked and you let out a sigh before realizing you were now drunk enough to use that as an excuse for the following action. Disregarding the comment that left the group slightly confused you turned, grabbing Melissa's beer from her hand, and tossing it on the girls hideous blue dress. 

“Oh shit.” You heard Jacob and Janine remark from behind you. 

“Y/n, hon come on, I think it's time we go guys.” Melissa said, reaching to grab your arm to lead you out but the woman reaches up to slap you but you reach out and grab her hair instead. In a blink of an eye the whole bar is now staring at the both of you as exclamations can be heard from both groups and Melissa is yelling every swear she can conjure up as her and Gregory are trying to get you off the other woman. You had her by the hair still and went to throw another punch until you felt a large pair of arms grab you around the stomach and pull you back, another large man grabs the other woman and you realize it's the bar's security guys. You hear your friends all yell at security to put you down, and he yells back and tells them they all have to leave or they are gonna call the cops. Barbara is the first one to pay off the tab and lead everyone out. 

“Have some decorum and just get outside!” She orders the group and they gather their things and listen. You don't put up a fight, but security still has a firm grip on your arms and is practically dragging you outside. 

“Okay Jesus I dont think this is necessary she's listening!” Melissa yells at the large man who just ignores her. He roughly lets go of you once you're outside and Melissa stabilizes you with gentle hands on your arm and hip. Eventually you are all waiting on the sidewalk as Janine goes to pull up her car. 

“Ok so that was wild.” Jacob mutters after an awkward silence. You lean against the wall of the building and sigh, Melissa looking over at you then back to the others. 

“Yeah what happened exactly? And why did that crazy lady call you her girlfriend?” Gregory asked and you didn't have the energy to say anything, or even look up at any of them. 

“Um. That lady wasn't taking a hint, so Y/n came to tell her to back off, and I guess she got the wrong idea, and things just escalated.” Melissa muttered as a cover. Since you had been so good at hiding things up until this point they all nodded without a doubt. Janine pulled up and Gregory and Jacob got in. You didn't move from your place on the wall and Melissa looked over at you then back to the others. 

“Barb you go ahead with them, I'll drive Y/n home tonight since it’s on my way.” Melissa said with a concerned voice and Barbara smiled. 

“Okay, I will see you ladies at school on Monday.” Barbara said before getting in. the rest of the group waved and Janine drove away. Leaving you and Melissa on the sidewalk. You still hadn't looked up or said a word. Your legs were getting tired from standing against the wall, and your cheeks felt slightly numb from the chilly air. You could feel your lip was bleeding but was pretty sure that was the only damage besides a slightly bruised ego. Melissa came to stand next to you, poking at your arm. 

“Are you ready to go, hon?” she said softly and you didn’t say anything. You finally looked up at her and she saw the blood dripping from your pouted lips and a faint red mark on your face that was slowly disappearing. 

“Baby your lip-” she went to wipe the blood but you cut her off.

“I'm sorry.” you muttered simply.

Taken aback she shook her head with furrowed brows, “For what?” 

“For making a scene, getting us kicked out-- almost having the group find out… all because of my fragile ego.” you scoffed hearing yourself and looked down to play with your fingers.

“Sweetheart, don't be sorry for any of that! I have never had someone, that wasn't family, literally fight a person for me.” She said playfully, using her hand to gently lift your chin. “I mean you did that because you care about me and your friends, not because you're fragile.”

You shook your head in response and opened your mouth to mutter another comment, but she stopped you with a kiss. She cupped your face with her hands gently, and softly kissed your lips with an underlying passion, being cautious of your busted lip, and stroking your cheek with her thumb. She pulled away with sparkling eyes and a grin which you met with a larger smile before reaching for her jacket to pull her into you again. You kissed her deeply ignoring the slight pain it caused, and ran your hand up her body to cup her cheek. Your breathing grew heavy as Melissa pushed you into the wall with her hips and you opened your mouth slightly allowing her to take over. Her tongue ran over your lip, she could taste the blood from your cut and the liquor on your breath, but she still deepened the kiss by letting her tongue enter your mouth and dance around your own. You eventually pulled away to catch your breath and you rested your forehead against hers as you shut your eyes and played with her hair. You had almost forgotten how much you had to drink until you stumbled slightly and she instinctively grabbed your waist. 

“I love you Y/n, and tonight only proved to me just how much I do” she spoke softly in her velvety voice and you smiled innocently with a red stained lip. She brushed over it with her thumb, and then stood up straight. 

“I love you too.” You said simply before feeling your eyes get tired. 

“Cmon, we are getting you home.” She said with a laugh and you nodded, allowing her to take your hand and walk you to her car. 

You knocked out the whole drive back, Melissa's hand placed on your thigh the whole way. She tapped it gently when you arrived and you opened your eyes to see you were at her house and you looked at her with a smile. 

“What? You didn't think I was just going to leave you alone at your place did you?” she mocked you with love and you laughed, getting out of the car and following her inside. 

“I think the nap in the car was exactly what I needed because I feel much better now.” You said smiling at her as you hopped up on the kitchen counter.

“Oh really? Well drink this whole glass of water and then we will see.” She said handing you a cup she filled from the fridge. She kept her eyes on yours as you drank it and she took off your shoes for you, placing them on the floor before kicking off her own. You finished the glass and placed it down as she turned to face you again. You grabbed her by her waist and pulled her to you, running your hands through her hair and admiring her beauty. 

“Don't look at me like that baby.” She said in a deep tone, her eyes full of a serious yet lustful gleam as she moved her hands to rest on the counter on either side of you.

“Like what?” you smiled, not moving your hands from her, tangling in her hair, running over her shoulders and arms, and then back to tuck her hair behind her ears.

“Like you want to fuck me.” she said firmly with a grin. You were surprised she didn't hesitate to call you out and this sent a chill down your spine. 

“Well, what's so wrong with that?” you teased, leaning in closer so you were inches from her face, your eyes darting between her dark green ones.

“The issue is how sexy it is but I'm not one for coercion.” She replies, moving to push herself away, but you grabbed her by the belt loops of her jeans and pulled her closer so her torso was between your legs and against the counter. You draped your arms over her shoulders and hovered your lips over hers, teasing her with a gentle peck to the lips. You pulled back slightly with a grin and she stared at you lovingly.

“Its not coercion if I want it and i'm barely even tipsy.” you say with a smile.

“Please Melissa, I just risked my life for you and I need to feel you.” You said with dramatics and a hint of sarcasm.

“Ha, now who is doing the coercing!” She laughed and you shook your head.

“Not coercion, I’m begging you,” you whined before pushing her away slightly so you could slink off the counter and onto your knees on the cold kitchen tile. “I'm literally on my knees for you… mommy.” You said with a grin, looking up at her with shining eyes. She smiled and let out a scoff. Your hands slid up the side of her legs, slowly over her thighs until you got to the button of her pants, causing her to suck in a breath before looking into your eyes again. You could see the internal battle she had and before you could unbutton her pants, she grabbed your hands and pulled you up to her. She pulled you in by your waist and kissed you deeply, letting out the breath she’d been holding in as she ran her hands down your waist to grab your ass. You moaned into the kiss and pressed your torso against hers. When you pulled away to catch your breath she smirked at you and sucked in her lip. 

“Okay but no taking care of me tonight, it's all about you baby.” She said, finding a compromise for her decision and you grinned, slightly upset you wouldn't be able to make her feel good. 

“Anything you say.” You nodded desperately and she let out a beautiful laugh before backing away and grabbing your hips to push you up against the counter. She kissed you again and your hands found her cheeks as you deepened the kiss with force. She ran her hands down your back and grabbed under your thighs to lift you onto the counter, not breaking the kiss. You groaned from the smooth execution and she smiled into the kiss. She pulled away and looked you in the eyes as she pushed your skirt up to your waist and pulled your panties off. You played with her hair as she did so and then felt your thighs squeeze together at the cold air and the way she was looking you up and down. 

“God you're stunning Melissa.” You said with a shaky breath as her hand pushed between your thighs and brushed your core with slow motions. 

“I could say the same thing about you hon, now be a good girl and lay back.” She said in a deep and sensual tone. You quickly nodded, leaning in for another deep kiss, pushing your chest against hers, cupping her cheek with your hand. You allowed your tongue to enter her mouth and kissed her with passion. She smiled into the kiss at your eagerness and she pulled away, raising her eyebrow at you and you placed another peck to her lips before doing as you were told. You pushed your hair out from under you to be laid out on the counter and allowed yourself to relax slightly. You felt her hands bend your knees and place your feet on the edge of the counter to give her better access.  The cold air caused your skin to prickle with small goosebumps and you felt your heart speed up as you awaited her touch. She traced her hands gently up and down your thighs before placing kisses along the inside of them. Her cold fingers came up to rub your clit and your body twitched, sensitive from being deprived for so long. You slightly leaned into her touch but the limited space on the counter kept you from doing so. 

“Just relax baby, I want you to be able to remember how good I treated you when you wake up tomorrow.” she said with a cocky grin that you could practically feel. She leaned in and licked a stripe up your folds without hesitation. Collecting your slick on her tongue before lightly sucking on your bud. You let out a moan and she gripped your thighs tighter to keep them in place as she continued to suck on your clit, licking circles around it. She moved a hand from your thigh to her mouth, placing two fingers in her mouth before rubbing your clit and then inserting them into you. You let out a hoarse gasp and she gently curled her fingers inside you, moving her head back down to continue torturing your clit. You arched your back off the counter and moaned at the new angle and she hummed into you causing you to moan again. 

“Fuck, Melissa!” You exclaimed, letting your hand come to her hair, brushing it from her face. She felt you clench around her fingers and held back a grin at how ready you were for her already. She thrusted her fingers harder, stroking inside of you and hitting your sensitive spot. Never taking her lips off your core, her tongue running over your clit before she continued to suck on it. You let out another loud moan and your free hand came to your mouth so you could bite on your knuckles, your eyes closing shut tight. 

“No baby move your hand I wanna hear you scream as you cum for me.” she said, not stopping her thrusts.

“Ah, ok- yes mommy.” you gasped out, tugging on her hair slightly, earning a deep groan from Melissa that you could feel. Your juices covered her face and hand now and you felt yourself clenching around her. You arched off the counter again and she brought her other hand off your thigh to rub your clit so she could talk you through your release. 

“That’s it my love, you're doing so good, cum for me hon.” She said, smiling down at you with dark eyes. You felt your release wash over you at the praise and your body shook as your orgasm flooded through you and you clenched around her fingers. Your mind went dark as you moaned loudly, fire spreading through your veins. As you caught your breath you opened your eyes. Melissa pulled her fingers from you and you used the little strength you had to try and sit up. She snaked her hand around your back to pull you up to her and you met her with a smile and flushed cheeks. She lifted her fingers to your mouth and you took them in without hesitation, tasting yourself on her. 

“You did so good for me baby.” She muttered in her deep, raspy voice, pulling her fingers from your mouth and back down to your center to sooth your sensitive clit.

“I love you.” You said with a smile. 

“I love you too.” She said simply and you leaned in to kiss her gently, looking in her eyes as you placed a peck to her lips. She took your lower lip between her teeth and you winced. She pulled away with a sarcastic grin and furrowed brows.

“Oh i'm sorry sweetheart, did I hurt your lip?” she brushed her thumb over the cut that was now bleeding slightly again. 

“A little. But its okay,” you said not taking your eyes from hers as you moved her hand to rub circles on your core slowly. “I liked it.” you added and she raised a brow. Moving to kiss her again she moved her head back slightly and thrusted her fingers back inside you without warning, she watched with a grin as your face contorted in pleasure. Your brows furrowed and your lip pouted. 

“Give me one more.” she ordered and you nodded, leaning to kiss her again but she pulled back, teasing you once more as her fingers moved inside you. The angle allowed her to curl into you deeply and you let out a gasp, her thumb brushed your clit in circles and you felt your second orgasm approaching rapidly. 

“Yes, mommy please don't stop.” you muttered breathlessly and she smirked, moving her fingers faster. You clenched around her and felt heat pool in your core as your orgasm approached. 

“Look at me baby.” She said and you met her gaze, furrowed brows and your mouth open in an ‘o’ shape as you moaned. Your legs shook slightly and you felt your thighs move to clench together and she didn't stop you. You sat up straight which allowed her fingers to reach deeper inside you and you gasped. Her eyes were full of lust and mischief as she looked into your pleading ones. Your eyes shifted to her puffy pink lips and you looked back in her eyes, silently begging. 

“Please kiss me Melissa.” you begged, your release approaching. She gave in and kissed you deeply, watching as your eyes closed and you moaned into the kiss. Her fingers sped up and she deepened the kiss, her tongue roaming around your mouth with passion and control. Your eyes squeezed tight as you felt the wave of relief crash over you and you moaned into the kiss, your hands moving to wrap around her face, cupping her jaw so there wasn't a chance she could pull away. She allowed her fingers to slow and you grinded against them as you rode out you high. Her other hand came to grip your waist, her thumb pushing into your hip. You finally pulled away and your foreheads met as you both caught your breath. 

“I'm so proud of you hon.” she said with a smile and you gently nodded.

“I'm definitely going to remember this.” you quipped and she let out a laugh before pulling you off the counter, your legs wrapping around her and her hands holding you by your thighs as she carried you. 

“Let's get you cleaned up and into bed.” she said sweetly into your ear and you allowed your glorious lover to carry you up the stairs and to her bedroom.

xx

[rowretro]

𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖑𝖞 𝕶𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖘

✧warnings: Yandere/toxic themes, kidnapping, explicit stuff mentioned (this isnt my best writting im so sorry its been saur long, im working thru the reqs too<3 my drafts are filled w sm so stay tuned!!!)

❁synopsis: Sunghoon is feared by all, his name was enough to reinforce that fear, for he had grown to be a much more fearful mafia than his father, though one with morals, he never let women in his life, and he barely trusted anyone... until he saw a butterfly.

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

Sunghoon stepped out of his limo, suitcase loaded with cash. He was filthy rich, and he couldn't deny it, so seeing him give a suitcase of month everytime the orphanage needed money, he was happy to help. His face always had a cold look, but the children all loved him, they were only safe, and loved in a caring foster home just because of him.

The man got into his vehcile, sitting in the driver's seat as Jungwon stared at him. "I still dont understand why you don't hire a driver for yourself bro-" Jungwon simply asked as Sunghoon raised an eyebrow "The rest of you boys cant be trusted driving under stressful situations so you have one, I just dont need one." he simply said as he started his car. The man started driving, when his car came to a sudden halt.

There before him, a pretty girl "Bro- u almost hit that hottie-" Jungwon pointed out as Sunhgoon didnt even bother turning his way, his eyes glued on the girl who apologized, before gettign distracted again, chasing after the blue morpho butterfly. "Crazy bitch- fuck she scared me-" Jungwon mumbled as Sunghoon continued staring at the girl, lovestruck, the way she raised her hand, and let the butterfly sit on her finger, as she kissed near it.

"Jungwon. I want to know every little detail about that girl. where she studies, where she lives, what she likes, what she hates, everything." He stated as Jungwon frowned, yet complied. She was very pretty, her layered dark hair, her perfectly winged eyeliner, the way she walked freely like she didn't give a care in the world. Not to mention, she definitely had style. For the first time he fell in love. So he will have her fall for him.

It didn't take Jungwon too long, as soon as he got home, he printed out the necessary files "Her name is y/n, she lives with the Lee's, yes She's Lee Heeseung's sister. Her father owns many schools, and she studies in the one Heeseung teaches in, to be fair, you're going to have to get on Heeseung's good side if you want her, because they're looking to arrange a marriage for her." Jungwon concluded as Sunghoon smiled.

It was all so easy for him. She was just within reach. "What brings you here Sunghoon?" Heeseung asked as the male looked around the School grounds. "Oh? well uhm.... uhh... just looking for a potential threat in this college- He's hiding from me..." he lied as Heeseung nodded. "In that case keep an eye on my sister-" Heeseung replied as he pat his shoulder, and walked off to a group of loud students.

His eyes finally found her, a butterfly sitting on her cheek, and she didn't even flinch, still writting notes in her book. He took a seat in front of her, causing the butterfly to fly away. The girl looked up, tilting her head at him. "Mr Park! what brings you here.... you aren't going to kill me are you?..." She asked as Sunghoon snickerred "Of course not.... what could possibly lead me to hurting a sweetheart like you?" He asked, his hand softly holding her jaw, as he ran his thumb across her lips and cheek.

It's no surprise she knew who he was, he was the Park Sunghoon, everyone knows him. God her lips are so perfect, he was so soft, making sure not to smudge her makeup or hurt her. However y/n felt a little uncomfortable... She softly pulled away. She can't deny it, he's fucking gorgeous, fighting her intrusive thoughts of rubbing her thumb across his brows.

"I wanted to see how my pretty girl is doing. My pretty girl..." he smiled, as he placed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Im installing a butterfly greenhouse in my garden just for you, Heeseung said you love flowers, I have a whole garden filled with jasmines, roses, lotuses and many other flowers you name it..." Sunghoon continued. It was all moving so fast, was this her fiancee her parents picked for her? why's he moving so fast? why him? is this a trap to kill her?

It was none of which... The Lee father fears Sunghoon, and Heeseung is like a brother to Sunghoon, after all the man did abuse Heeseung and y/n growing up, so when Sunghoon asked to marry her, Of course her parents wer happy with it, Mrs Lee believed he was a sweetheart. Heeseung wasn't too happy at first, but he wasn't a typical mafia boss, playboy with prostitutes every night, how bad could it possibly be.

"Uhm..... huh?" Y/n asked, not knowing what to say or ask. "You're parents are ok with me marrying you so, instead of circling around, im giving it to you straight." Sunghoon simply said "All you need to do is pack your belongings when you get home, you're moving in with me, your room will be right opposite mine, and we can talk about what you want in this marriage ok?" He asked as Y/n stared, stunned.

She was never told anything.... Why is everything going so fast? She was being married off to a blood thirsty beastly man who kills for a living?! As Sunghoon left, she sat there lost in thought. So she really was his?.......

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[byhuenii]

⊱☆⊰ COFFEE STAINED SHIRT

prompt— couples truth or drink with bf gojo satoru. (WC: idk) pairing— gojo satoru x fem!reader warnings— MINORS DNI! not proofread, fluff, maybe ooc gojo, typos, suggestive, maybe more im missing. a/n— these videos get me through boring days lol, i love these and yeah MINORS DNI. gojo’s questions are in blue and yours are in purple

“ are we already recording orr… ” satoru’s blue eyes squint at the camera crew who put up their thumbs as a yes now start the video.

YN : “ hi. my name is yn ln! ”

GOJO : “ and im satoru gojo, and this is truth or drink couples edition! ”

“ how long have you two been together and how did you meet up? ”

a sly smirk rolled onto satoru’s lips causing you to groan outloud. “ well if you insist~ she actually spilled coffee on my white shirt that i gifted myself for my own birthday! and 2 1/2 years ”

“ it didnt even look expensive ”, she mumbled under her breath, a few staff giggled

GOJO : “ what? ”

YN : “ nothing anyways.ill go first! ”

a small chuckle escaped her lips, “ oh wow starting off stong. okay what is your favorite part of my body ” her eyes deadpanned to the camera “ i already know what he is gonna say, and its gonna be my ass and boobs .”

GOJO : “ wrong its your heart, i love the way it beats and brings me comfort ”

the silence was evident, gojo tried not to laugh causing little hee hee tee hee slip out. you stared at the camera blank expression.

GOJO : “ it is your boobs and ass though. ” a wide smile plastered on his face

“ have you liked any of my friends? ” satoru happily placed the card down staring beams against you, you hesitated at bit your hand rested against the cup, “ see! she only had eyes on me—“

you took a shot eyes squinting at the bitter and hot aftertaste lingering on your tongue

GOJO : “ WHAT ?? ” “ WHO?? WHAT ??? ”

YN : “ nope i took a shot im not saying shit! ”

GOJO : “ …do any of them know..? ”

YN : “ well i wanna say both of them. ”

GOJO : “ BOTH? AS IN TWO?? ”

you cleared your throat “ anyways, what were your first impressions of me ”

GOJO : “ i thought you were really cute especially when you apologized after spilling the coffee on my shirt.. ”

YN : “ is that it? ” you smiled at how sweet he thought of you

GOJO : “ …and that i wanted to fuc— “

YN : “ OKAY OKAY FUCK. NEVERMIND I ASKED. JUST GO. ” your face turned red flipping off satoru who blew you a kiss

“ what is the one thing you wouldnt change about me? ” satoru rested his head in his hand kicking his feet from under the chair

YN : “ your beautiful big blue eyes. ”

GOJO : “ i was expecting you to say like my big dick or something but awww ”

you kicked his foot under the table “ yeah i guess i love that too. ”

GOJO : “ no no you do love it, you tell me all the time ”

“ okay shut up satoru. how many people did you have sex with while we were talking? ”

GOJO : “ zero, after you spilled that coffee on my shirt i only wanted you. ”

“ whats the meanest thing you said about me to your friends? ” gojo smiled, “ it cant be that bad ”

you sighed taking a shot, debating if you should pour yourself another shot.

GOJO : “ okay im hurt ” he exclaimed dramatically,

YN : “ you may of not had sex with other girls when we were talking but you flirted with them toru. ”

GOJO : “ ..hey i said i was sorry! ” his pout was evident

“ if you could change one thing about me what would it be? ”

GOJO : “ nothing. ”

YN : “ all quick.. ”

“ me or peeta mellark? ”

YN : “ both? ”

GOJO : “ no pick thats not fair! “

YN : “ okay well you obviously! i love my boyfriend more than some fictional man.. ” you looked over at the camera ans whispered peeta mellark,

GOJO : “ HEY I SAW THAT NO NO— “

“ have you ever faked an orgasm? ”

YN : “ no. ”

GOJO : “ im just that good ladies never settle for anything lower! ” he winked at the camera

“ have you ever thought of breaking up with me or taking a break? ”

GOJO : “ honestly once i did, but that was just because my job is so demanding i didnt want you to constantly be alone waiting for me ”

“ would you of dated me STILL if i had a child with another women? ”

YN : “ oh hell yeah i would, kid no kid it dont matter to me ”

“ what is my biggest flaw? ”

YN : “ you are very cocky and some times act like nobody can touch you or you think youre alone basically. ”

GOJO : “ well..damn ”

YN : “ its okay i still love you ”

“ have you every considered having an open relationship? ”

GOJO : “ i have thought about it BUT i don’t like the idea of open relationships. whats the point of being im a relationship if you are going to date another person? it doesn’t make me feel right either.. ”

YN : “ okay good cause i would’ve killed you if you said yes. ”

“ whats the nicest thing you’ve said about me to your friends? ”

GOJO : ww had meanest so obviously we need the nicest now spill.

YN : okay well, this was when we were in our talking stage. i already knew he liked me but i was trying to figure out my feelings and he waited for me and was so supportive. i think i cried and ranted to my friends about him the next day—

GOJO : i mean nobody should pressure nobody into a relationship

YN : see ladies NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS KEEP THOSE EXPECTATIONS HIGH.

GOJO : in the wise words of taylor swift “in a world of boys hes a gentleman!”,

YN : since when did you know tswift…

GOJO : …

“ if i was a leech would you still love me? ”

GOJO : “ aww yes, id put a cute little bow on you! ”

YN : “ really? id love a glitter bow— “

GOJO : “ i would keep you on my arm ans let you suck the shit out of me— “

YN : “ okay bye this video is over. MAKE SURE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE— ”

GOJO : “ WHAT ALREADY? I WAS JOKING WAIT PLEASE, ”

A/N: :3 gojo :3

[scekrex]

HIIIIII<33333333 i fucking love your Adam x reader fics ,im DYING to read more of them, so here is what we all love and crave

Adam x overlord reader. When reader found Adam after the battle, bringed him to his place with the garden etc, Adam lives here. Reader likes Adam and flirts with him often, trying to get closer to him. Adam, tho he would never admit it, likes reader back and plays along. Reader is also a very chill guy, so Adam feels surprisingly comfortable around him. He treats Adam as a equal person, not as some high-stated bitch who everyone need to bow to. As months pass, they are getting closer and closer, their relationship grow. But tho Adam likes reader alot, he still sometimes thinks about heaven, about Lute, about all he had left behind. Its not the same, down there. But this topic gets pushed aside whenever it pops up in his mind, cause he has his boyfriend(?) who loves him and gives him protection from all the sinners that want him dead. But deep inside Adam has that little hope that Heaven will send someone to get him back (tho they prob dont even know he is alive).

Meanwhile Lute was pleasing Sera to let her go down and look for Adam, who she belives is somehow alive. Sera eventually lets her and Lute comes down to hell and starts to look for Adam and ask everyone who she mets where he could be.

After these few months, once as the two enjoy spending evening together, they hear a ring to the door. They come out to that balcony and see Lute standing in the middle of the garden. She calls out to Adam to come back with her. Adam seems excited that his hope and his lieutant didnt let him down. But reader doesnt want to let Adam go. Adam complained from time to time that "what if heaven forgot about him and accepted the fact he is dead" And also reader knows Adams past from Eden. And suddenly reader switches from a chill guy to a serious manipulative persona. He starts to tell Adam things like "and it would take them so long to get you back? They dont really want you there", also mentioning how Lilith and Eve left him before, to hit Adams weak point. Adam, shocked by his bf suddenly mood switch and his serious harsh words, knowing how he have been acting in heaven, doesnt even realise the act of a fucking cruel, possesive manipulation and gives in, shouts at Lute to fuck off and he wont get back where nobody truly wants him. As they get back into the room, Adam from angry comes to sad and curles up into a broken, depressed ball of misery. Reader hugs him, gives him comfort, saying shit like "noone will hurt you anymore if you stay here with me" (still manipulation) while Adam totally breaks and starts to cry, feeling that he will never deserve a perfect live he was meant to have when God created him, that hes worthless and ruined himself

I need to see Adam switch right from his usuall confident, loud persona to a wet sopping cat, crying his eyes out in a sudden mental breakdown pls

You can change smth if smth bothers you, i know you will make it fucking fire as always i live for your writings<33333

I decided that this will not be part of the Bird of Hell's Paradise story bc that story is too soft and comfortable to add manipulation to. Reader is an overlord in this one, but it's not explicitly mentioned.

We'll be together, forever, we'll never ever part

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, kinda toxic behavior, manipulation

note: not beta read bc fuck you

Before Adam there had been loneliness and coldness, before Adam, there had been long nights and even longer days, before Adam there had been a lot of things and all of them were negative.

But having an angel roaming your halls certainly was not what you had planned for your life in Hell, but said angel definitely brightened your days - even though he was a - well let’s call him a special case. Adam wasn’t at all like the angels portrayed in stories, he was rude and harsh, respected no one but himself and the brunette loved to cause chaos on top of it all.

But to everyone’s surprise, the brunette angel settled in somewhat nicely once he realized that Heaven would not send their angels to bring him back, he even got used to having you around. Well, maybe the wording ‘he got used’ isn’t entirely fitting, Adam even enjoyed your company, sometimes he specifically requested it - when he was playing guitar for example. The first man was keeping you on your feet and moving at all times, that was for sure and if you were being honest, you didn’t mind it. It was a nice change from your boring, lonely life in Hell.

And even though Adam had everything he needed and wanted - you very obviously made sure that the angel never missed anything - you knew that he wasn’t doing as well with his new life in Hell as he pretended. Adam was a loud and cheerful guy, so when he went quiet for longer, of course you noticed. There was nothing you were capable of doing to help him through those times - he was simply homesick for Heaven. When things got really bad, you were even able to catch him praying before going to bed, praying to the creature he called father to bring him back, to send him Lute who would escort him back to Heaven, straight through the pearly gates without any complications - but that wasn’t happening. Every being had their reason to live in Hell, even Adam.

“Adam?” you asked with a soft voice, wrapping your arms around the first man’s torso from behind as you leaned your head against his shoulder blade. The man in your arms flinched at first, he had been lost in his thoughts and your touch caused him to snap right out of it. A slightly confused “Huh? fell from his lips before he looked over his shoulder to spot you. The confusion in his eyes was overplayed by an emotion you couldn’t name and the usual grin Adam somehow always managed to shoot in your direction laid on his lips. “Can’t get enough of me again, huh you shithead?” His words were teasing and not the slightest bit serious which caused you to chuckle softly. “You seemed lost,” you answered instead of agreeing with him, knowing damn well that his ego was already huge - bigger than Adam’s body.

Adam grumbled words you weren’t able to understand, then turned away and stepped away from the hug you had offered him. He didn’t want to talk about it - again. And that probably bothered you even more than the fact that he longed for Heaven’s pearly gates. You were fine with Adam having hopes and dreams, it’s not something you would be able to take from him, even if you wanted to, but he never talked about it. The only reason why you were aware of the Eden incident was because of the bible - Adam never talked about anything that involved his past, at least not about the negative things. What you did know was that he missed his band mates and playing gigs with them and that his lieutenant seemed to be a crazy bitch he liked a lot - not in a romantic way but rather in a platonic way, maybe he saw her as some sort of little sister, you weren’t sure.

You sighed as you watched Adam go. He needed time and you would not deny him that.

-

Lute was walking up and down in Sera’s office, explaining her detailed plan on how they would get Adam back - she hoped it would be quite easy because Adam never actively fell, he had never truly died. So technically there was still divine blood pumping through his body which would let him cross the pearly gates back home. Sera sighed at Lute’s idea, rested her head on her hands and watched as Adam’s former lieutenant never stopped walking.

“Lute,” she interrupted the exorcist who stopped in her tracks to look at the tall seraphim angel, Lute clearly had not expected Sera to interrupt her. “We can’t bring Adam back, he is gone,” she explained as the seraphim slowly got up from her chair and crossed the room to face Lute properly. The white haired woman was not having it though, she stood up for herself, “You’re wrong.”

-

It was only a few hours later that Lute flew through one of the shiny golden portals and landed right in front of your house. She knocked against the door quite loudly, even kicked and slammed her shoulder against it, “Adam!”

You turned your head as you heard an unfamiliar voice calling out for the person of your desire and watched as Adam rushed over to the balcony. What the fuck was going on and who was calling for your lover? You followed Adam with heavy steps. Once you stopped right next to the tall and loud angel you wrapped your arm around him as you looked down only to see a woman you had never seen before - she appeared to be an angel too and you instantly feared for the worst.

“Lute!” he yelled back and was about to jump off the balcony to get to her, but you stopped him by tightening the grip on his hips, a little confused he looked down at your hand, then his eyes met yours, “Y/N?” he asked quietly so his former lieutenant wouldn’t hear. You immediately knew you wanted him to stay with you, there really was no way you would ever let Adam leave again, not when he was very much able to stay with you for the rest of eternity. And it wasn’t that you weren’t aware of how wrong that seemed, but it had been long since the last little toy that brought you happiness and joy, so you would hold onto Adam for as long as possible.

You simply shook your head and pulled him a little closer against your side, “If they truly want you back, then why would it take them so long to come and get you?” That caused Adam to close his mouth and he seemed to genuinely think about your words - he came to the conclusion that you had a point.

“C’mon Sir,” Lute yelled up at the balcony where you and Adam stood, “We’re going home.” Unsure eyes roamed over your body and you could feel that Adam waited for you to say something, you were right after all, why would Heaven wait so awfully long to bring him back? The expression on your face was blank and your usually soft sounding voice turned bitter and cold, “She wants to take you from me, Adam. She wants to separate us like Lucifer separated you from your past wives.” And that caused Adam to freeze, he slowly backed away from the railing of the balcony. “Darling, she could have taken you back ages ago, yet she waited - for what though? She seems to be out for power and she realized that you are the only powerful thing she can possess and get away with at the same time, all while she can stay in Heaven,” you hummed as you backed off alongside Adam, slowly guiding the golden winged angel back inside.

“Fuck off, you can go back to crawling up Sera’s fucking ass, I ain’t coming with you, cunt,” the brunette in your arm yelled and flipped the smaller angel in your garden off. A victorious grin appeared on your lips, your plan was working out just fine.

The door to the balcony fell shut and you heard how Adam crashed down onto the couch, he laid there, face buried in the soft fabric it was covered in and his wings were tightly wrapped around his body to isolate him from his surroundings. He looked so miserable, so helpless, so lonely and you hated seeing the usually loud angel so quiet. Your voice softened a little as you sat down next to Adam, you had forced him to stay simply because you wanted him to stay, now the least you could do was to lure him into the thought of protection and a good, bright life.

“Hey now,” you mumbled quietly as your fingers combed through Adam’s soft brown and messy hair, pushing it out of his face - his face which was still pressed against the couch. Your other hand gently moved up and down Adam’s back and when you heard the brunette sigh, you knew you had him wrapped around your finger just fine. “Noone will hurt you, not if you continue to stay with me,” you hummed, the tone you spoke in remained soft and calming and when you saw how Adam lifted his head to look at you, your heart did shatter a little.

His eyes were red, slightly puffy and his lip was quivering. The first man moved his head from the couch to your lap, pressed his face tightly against your belly and cried - it was the first time he was showing so strong and overwhelming emotions. His nails dug into your sides as he held onto your waist to keep you close, to feel you under his hands and to keep you from leaving like everyone else did, he wanted you to stay just as much as he wanted to stay with you.

And the worst yet best part of it all was that the brunette hadn’t even noticed how manipulative your words were, let alone your soft, comforting actions. He was yours through and through and there was nothing in this world - Hellspawn or Heavenborn - that would ever separate you from the brunette man crying against your belly.

[ants-personal]

i hope we get to see eli trying to apologize to demetri and of course at first it doesnt work demteri isnt answering him barely looking at him argued about sitting next to him for the trip he tries offering demteris favorite snacks or they can watch his favorite movie he even shares news on something he knows would normally have demetri light up and talking for the next hour but he gets a snide remark and then more silence which even at the hotel finding they are sharing a room eli can tell demetri is holding back another argument since johnny already told him of he has to hear another stupid argument there will be violence

so in the room they both lay there tension thick and eli breaks first frustrated he doesnt know what demetri wants from him hes already apologized hes tried to make it up what else could demetri want for him to beg for forgiveness then please forgive me for not telling you about mit and for calling yoy annoying all mighty demetri and that seems to do something cause demetris rushing out of the room even though they arent suppose to leave which just alarms eli cause when has demetri broken rules and in a place they both dont know

Rushing into the halls and past Daniel who apprently had just caught miguel,sam,and robby all sneaking around who has to grab him by the shoulder to slow him down and reminds him they aren't suppose to leave their rooms turning him to lead him back but eli pushes him off he needs to go do something very important he has to make something right he will go back as soon as its over please and Daniel ponders for a moment staring at eli who is giving his best desperate puppy eyes and so daniel gives in makes it sound like hes yelling at eli to go back and whisper if he isnt in 20 hell send johnny to get him instead

And so hes off running and jumping down flights of stairs the elevator taking to long he doesnt know where demetri would have gone and the hotel isnt too massive but itd take longer than 20 to search the whole thing fonally reaching the lobby he paces eyes scanning the small crowd he wouldnt go far as to not get lost (or kidnapped dont you know the how high the rates of boys like us getting snatched by some creep)

Thats when he spots a sign for some sort of garden courtyard and some part of him is certain that's where hell be so he makes his way pushing the door into the cooler night air its a decent size area lined with benches and seating areas all under canopy of trees and tall bushes blowing gently in the wind litering the ground in shadows theres two lamp posts on either side leaving the corners as thr perfect hide away he knows to keep quiet or demteri will run off before he can get close and theyll be back to square one

He squints into the darkness looking for any sign it isnt until he catches a glimpse of demteris red snoopy pj bottoms he stops in his tracks he hasnt been seen yet he can hear sniffling and knows demetris hugging himself curled over his knees as he tries to keep his sobs quiet hes seen it plently of times when hed get injured by whoever decided to beat them that day or when his parents were first going through their divorce maybe he hated eli seeing him as weaker or maybe he just didnt want eli to feel bad either way it always made elis heart hurt to see his friend like that and its devastating now that he is the cause of it

He takes a deep breath before calling out his name gently but it doesnt matter demteris jumping up and backing away quickly wiping his face of any evidence telling him to go away and leave him alone throwing in a your not suppose to leave the room after dark which eli cant help the tiny chuckle as he points out neither was demetri which as them both standing there demteri looking down at glancing occasionally at eli and any exit he can find adding onto elis mountain of guilt he thinks i could still be a threat so he stay in the same spot but begs demetri to please just tell me how to fix this

And course demetri whos hugging himself shrugs theres nothing to fix everythings fine course he has to be difficult thinking eli is like his mom who would believe him rather than push and get into a round bout argument he never did find out what he told her about his broken arm and so eli stands his ground presses only getting biting remarks back until they are both yelling staff members and sensis and karate war be damned

and soon it finally comes out demetri yelling that eli doesnt even want him in elis life again so whats the point in fixing things which tales eli by surprise demetri taking his silence as shameful agreement he lists off how eli thinks hes better how he thinks demetri doesnt even deserve to be here or how hes closer to the gang than demetri so why would he even need to hang around nerdy loser demetri or go to the same school when he can go off and be mister cool wherever he goes without demetri dragging him down how demetri will end up .. all alone without his best friend again who wants nothing to do with him and is fine without him and he just doesnt understand how after everything theyve been through to just throw him away again when its convenient for him all the while demetris the fool who loves eli though it all anyways

and they both just stand there in stunned silence only disrupted by a security guard coming out calling out to whoevers been making all the noise to come out and before eli can even turn to look towards the direction of the voice demetris grabbing his arm and pulling him after him exiting the yard from the otherside the gaurd yelling after them and soon they are running through halls and hiding around corners to try and make it back up to the room dodging staff and even Johnny and Daniel who are certainly looking for them now

after demteri shoves them into an elevator leaving them both panting as they ride up eli can help but ask love? causing demetri to huff cause of pf course thats what he focuses on and before he can say anything else the elevator dings and they are jogging back to their room eli getting there first they can hear the sensis aruging and thats when eli realizes he doesnt have a key demetri calls him an idiot harshlely under his breath producing a key as they spill into the room turning the lights off and standing by the door both jumping when Johnny bangs on it yelling that they better be in there nerds

They both share a panicked look before they are rustling eachother up to make it look like theyve been sleeping and demetri is opening the door squinty eyed acting very confused and stubbornly innocent eli coming up behind playing his innocence up as well Johnny can only squint at them while eli and Daniel share a knowing look and soon they leave telling them they better not be out again its only when after the door is shut they both sigh in relief and soon find themselves giggling the air lighter between them

Its demetri who turns away first stating its late and they should go to sleep if they plan on actually winning tomorrow climbing into his bed barely getting under the covers before eli is jumping onto of him smile big on his face as he leans over his body demetri scowls and tells him to get off and go to bed but elis too giddy to happy it makes sense now all clicking and he probably is more brawn than brains at this point cause how could he not see maybe he didnt want to at somepoint but its always been there demetri loves him which is a given but this is different kind and its suddenly the only thing in elis life that makes sense after everything demetri was still there for him going out his way to check up on him to make him laugh to include him even in his future the way he looks at him during training even now as demetri still lays theres not pushing him away and telling him he looks stupid and to get off again and the answer is so clear and he knows hes looking at him like he always has like he was the his earths sun stars and moon

And demetris gone quiet watching him closely with baited breath and eli leans down they are almost nose to nose whispering if he really meant it that he loved him he so vlose he can see the tears slowly well up in demetris eyes thinking eli is being cruel hell make fun of him soon enough use it against him whatever part of hawk survived scares him so all he can do is nod taking in a shaky breath as the tears run down eli cupping his face gently wiping the tears with his thumbs smiling softly as he shushes him and whispers reassurances neither sure who closed the distance as lips meet tentatively and softly at first turning into much more confident eagerness demetris sitting up to run his fingers through elis hair eli clinging to demetris t-shirt only pulling when both desperately need air its only then that eli with the sight of a flustered demetris pecks his cheeks and whispers love into his ear

[polyamorousmood]

hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[kristiemewisstan]

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Review (or me slowly going from spiraling in excitement to madness to sadness in 1 hour):

The Black Dog-

SO GOOD THIS IS SO GOOD IM YELLING THIS HAS MY FAV PRODUCTIKN THUS FAR I STILL XANT BELIEVE IT EITHER TAYLOR WHAT TGE FUCK | listen 2 cause I was to hype to truly listen, the magic fabric of her dreamin’ 🥺, oh the original father cheated song, DO YOU HATE ME? ooooof the fact that she felt made fun of by him and still went on to do her shit is so strong and I love her, your honor

imgonnagetyouback-

This one is VERY GOLD RUSH and I’m in love (I’m so sorry I’m not gonna be able to be unbiased rn because I’m too fucking excited), the ahh ahhhhs are so GOOOOOOODDDDD

The Albatross-

“One less temptress one less dagger to sharpen” OOF I feel like I’m in terrible danger of a heart attack, Taylor, I-I Love This Song So Much it’s so folklore

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus-

THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOOOD TAYLOR WHAY THE FUCK MAN, Certified Horse Girl, I’m gonna need to be medicated after this

How Did It End?-

I HEREBY CONDUCT THIS POSTMORTEM IS SUCH A HARD LINE TO START A SONG WITH, the amount of piano overall in these pleases me IMMENSELY, SITTING IN A TREE D-Y-I-N-G yeah Taylor that’s what YOU ARE DOING TO ME

So High School-

THIS IS WHAT I WANTED THE WHOLE ALBUM TO BE, 💯 made to vibe like a coming of age story, “YOU GONNA MARRY KISS OR KILL ME” I LOVE HER, bridge goes HARD

I Hate It Here-

scared to go outside, OH MU GOD JUST THE WHOLE SONG I KEEP WANTING TO WRITE LYRICS DOWN, so folklore, this ones it, ITS IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

thanK you aIMee-

Oh so we cheated okay Joe I see how it is your days are numbered, SING FUCK YOU AIMEE, HELL YEAH TAYLOR, ID WRIT A THOUSAND SONGS THE YOU FIND UNCOOL, ITS ON SIGHT, OH ITS HAPPY NOW YAY

I Look in People’s Windows-

Okay stalker much lol, this one is sad :(, very pretty though I’m sorry I can’t focus on the lyrics I’m too hype, very folklore so very sad

The Prophecy-

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER SONG BUT I CANT PLACE IT it’s gonna kill me, “who do I have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy” rip my heart out my god, DONT NEED MONEY JUST SOMEONE WHO WANTS MY COMPANY, also a very sad one

Cassandra-

snake mention 🐍, THE ALTO UNDERLAY OH MY GOD, I normally am not the largest fan of vocal layering when it’s this obviously but this is absolutely lovely, this one tells a VERY GOOD story, “BUT THEY NEVER SPARED A BRICK FOR MY SOUL” OOOOOOF

Peter-

the piano started off this song and I immediately smiled and it ends up being such a bittersweet song, “promises oceans deep but never to keep” these songs rip my heart more and more and more, CAUSE LOVES NEVER LOST WHEN PERSPECTIVE IS EARNED this really hurt me, this longing hurts me

The Bolter-

She’s a runner she’s a track star! THE CHORUS ugh I love it Taylor why do you have to be so good, yeah this one was very good and I relate to being scared of commitment after heartache SOOO MUCH

Robin-

“Strings tied to lovers” IM CRYING, “ALL THIS SHOWMANSHIP TO KEEP IT” JOSEPH YOU FUMBLED SO HARD, THE INVISIBLE STRING RIFF IM ALREADY CRYING YOU DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT TO ME, i will never be able to listen to this song and invisible string in the same day I think it’s genuinely break me

The Manuscript-

the opening piano made me close my eyes and take a deep breath in, New Year’s Day vibes BUT SAD, oh god you know what I’ll kill him, I’ll take the hit, she knew what the agony had been for 🥹 fuck

First Listen Overall- 10/10

I have no notes it was everything I dreamed the actual album would be Taylor please let me buy this on vinyl I need to have it in my grasp also please give me the lyrics written out so I can analyze it plz

I don’t have a favorite they are all my favorite you could pay me to choose

[hymn-of-muse]

oh, sorry! i didnt know. then can i request a spiderverse character of your choosing x a reader who can travel to alternate dimensions at will?

you got it!

Catch You On The Web-Side.

miles morales x dimension hopping Spider!Reader!

for the idea im taking inspro from gwenpool/gwen poole, so reader is sorta like if spider-woman gwen stacy crossed with deadpool gwen poole but was gender neutral! using they/them for stand in pronouns!

y/n = your name and sp/n = spider name!

warning ahead for minor across the spiderverse spoilers!

It's been a while since Miles had seen any of his friends, since he'd shut down the collider and saved his and his friends dimensions. It's been months actually.

There was a party coming up soon with friends and family and miles promised his parents, like he always did practically out of habit by now, that he would be there on time. He was still getting a hold of time management and being spiderman on the go, it was really hard to schedule things and follow through when there was crime around the city.

but hey! he was getting a hang of the whole web swinging stuff, doing way better now than when he started out, so at least he could swing around to cut some time right? despite missing classes because he was still mapping out the city from the new angle while fighting crime, this was also a lesson he still had yet to learn.

swinging on his way home after helping the police with another car chase, a flash of colour caught miles' eye from around the corner of a building as he passed it. His spider sense went off and caused him to turn back to investigate only to catch sight of someone else swinging past.

"What the-" Miles landed and perched himself on the side of a building to process what he just saw before quickly swinging after them. "hey! hold up!"

was that another spider-peron? he shut off the collider, how'd they get here?

"hold up, i just wanna chat!" He called out, swinging right after the person who stopped on a roof. He landed next to them, bouncing once before fully stopping. "whoa-hey-hey! I'm-uh...are you?" He stumbled with his balance and words.

"a spider hero from another dimension? yup!" the stranger finished and answered his question for him. "sp/n. or y/n. you?" the smile was clear as they spoke, hand outstretched in greeting.

"mile-er-spider-man...im Spider-Man. or miles morales." he took their hand in his and shook it, a bit quick to do so out of nervousness and shaking a couple seconds too long before letting go and retracting his hand to his side.

the person laughed, amused by his nervous nature. "nice to meet you 'mile-er-spider-man'." the jokingly mocked.

"how did you get here? did someone open a collider in your dmension-"

they cut him off with a confused chuckle "collider? no? i get around like this normally, hoping dimensions 'n stuff. this one guy gets mad at me for it but i tune him out and ditch when he starts monologuing"

"you can do that?? just..go from dimension to dimension?? how??" miles grins under his mask in excitement. someone who can travel freely? thats amazing! and maybe theres a chance they can take him around too? or help him connect to his friends?

"its just as normal for me as my spider-sense i guess. took just as much work to get a hang of as web swinging did though. oh and before you ask, i've never tried taking another person traveling with me, im not sure how well that would work" y/n explained like they knew exactly what he was thinking.

"and how do you keep from um.." he tried gesturing with his hands. "glitching out and being all unstable in other dimensions that arent yours?"

"oh yeah that, really hurt the first couple of times so i made this things with a friends help" they held up their wrist and showed off some strange looking wrist watch gadget. "helps me stay stable wherever i am"

"cool!" miles commented, looking the gadget over. "so did you come to my dimension for any particular reason...? or..?" he looked back at them with a tilt of his head.

"just passing through, kinda tracking someone down and avoiding someone else." they shrugged.

"that guy who gets mad at you for hopping dimensions?"

"him or one of his many spider friends" they snickered. "speaking of which i gotta stay ahead, but i'll see you around again, yeah?"

"youre leaving already? man, you just got here!" miles complained, hoping they'd stay and chat a while longer.

"yeah, sorry, miles. dont worry though, i might just be a frequent visitor in your dimension now" they winked with their mask and started walking to the edge of the building rooftop.

"i still got a lot of questions sp/n." miles chuckled.

"and i'm sure i've got a lot of answers for next time, spider-man." they quipped back, yuning to face him and standing on the ledge. "catch you on the web-side"

and with that, the fell backwards off the building followed by a flash of light. miles quickly rushed over to the edge and looked down but saw nothing below except for a few pedestrians on the street going about their day.

"yeah...catch you on the web-side.."

reblogs are appreciated! thank you!

[disabled-stuck]

HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

[darlinguistics]

i just finished my first week at my summer job! its a summer camp, im in their program for their special needs campers, so i got assigned to an inclusive bunk where im the advocate for two little boys. not gonna lie i was super overwhelmed, i think i cried more days than i didnt but i think thats more to do with how long these days are (i leave my house at 7:30am, get home at 6pm!) and how i dont really have a break the whole time (not even the ride to/from where im a bus counselor for more kids). ive been super excited to start this job since i got it in the spring too, so the rough adjustment period hit me even harder because i felt like i was failing or not as qualified as i thought i was, etc etc. but now the week is over and i think im largely out of that funk. its still a bit much, still more than im used to, but i think me and the kids themselves have settled into the new environment a bit better now and we all can think a bit more clearly. and when i stop focusing on all the little parts of my days that stress me out, i realize im doing a pretty good job so far! and my kids are so lovely and as long as im doing right by them im doing exactly whats expected of me.

last time i was working with kids regularly was an internship last year, but that was just a few hours a week at a preschool and i wasnt assigned to any specific kids. but even then i remember the headspace id get in right before and after those shifts. at the time i was reprocessing a lot of my own childhood as i had just moved away from home for the first time and let things catch up to me. so i remember taking any slight cause of upset in those kids so personally, getting so defensive and protective of them and so stuck in thinking about how 'unfair' being a kid was at times and the inevitable damage that is done, how growing up and aging is kind of just inherently a bit traumatic it seems, even if you do everything 'right' and there was no way i could 'save' them from it. or in other words i was just a softie and a pushover lol. that was a year ago though and definitely a reflection of what i was going through at the time, now im in a different place of course. now im a little more self-focused admittedly, and i moreso catch myself being sensitive about the interactions i have with my adult coworkers now more than the kids. but whats getting me is how much i realize i relate to my two boys, but that i didnt have any advocate or anyone like that assigned to me growing up. but when i work with them on things like mental rigidity or strong senses of justice, all-or-nothing thinking, decision overload, shut down/freeze responses.. i occasionally get imposter sydrome realizing that i myself still struggle with those things more than i want to admit and who am i to coach a child through them when i clearly still struggle? doing in essence the same things at the same time as them with my adult peers, but no one is pulling me aside or gently redirecting me when i do it.

but anyways its a good job. and i should be able to get home a bit earlier starting next week which is both a small but huge win i cant wait for. im hoping now that im less on edge with all the newness i can be more mindful too, cuz i know that from how i was raised my instinct can be to 'just deal with it, even if its hurting me to do so i am clearly the odd one out so just pretend you understand to spare everyone elses feelings while hurting yourself quietly' and i obviously so do not want to let myself unconsciously encourage any of that to my kids. im confident i know how to teach and model healthier ways for them, i just know that if i dont take care of myself and let myself get too overwhelmed i might slip. so i want to be kinder to myself and advocate for myself too, for their sake as well as mine. so im taking full advantage of this weekend to recover as selfishly as i want, filling my own cup before pouring it out for others, as my therapist would say <3

[bridgyrose]

So I was thinking of this angsty idea, so bear with me;

Cinder Fall, 80 years after the defeat of Salem, remains as one of the last living members of Salem's inner circle. Even though she's on the verge of senility and her mind is withering away, she looks back at what she had done in the past, contemplating her heinous actions from a bygone era.

(You say heinous, I call it a feature of her survival. Either way, enjoy.)

Cinder sighed as she looked out the window of her home, noticing the reflection of Ruby walking into the room. She slowly picked herself up, bones cracking as she moved. “You know you didnt have to come here, right? Or is this one last chance for you to tell me that you were right?” 

“Just because we were enemies doesnt mean I’m going to take this chance to push you down further.” Ruby slowly hobbled her way over and sat down in a chair near Cinder. “Besides, you were the one who called me, and I… cant exactly ignore that. I still answer any call for help. For better or for worse.” 

“Did I?” Cinder asked with a small smirk. “Doesnt matter, it… it does mean something that you’re here.” 

“So why did you call for me?”

“I… I wanted to apologize.” 

“Apologize for what? This is the first time in years I’ve seen you since you disappeared!” 

Cinder looked over Ruby, her eyes gazing at the cane that sat near her. A once formidable rival, now subject to the wear and tear her body took from being a huntress. “I wanted to apologize for what I did before I disappeared. For the issues I caused you. I never meant… I didnt think-” 

“I think we’re long past time for apologies on that,” Ruby interrupted. “Salem was dealt with, you disappeared and I hadnt heard from you since… I figured we were done with this.” 

“We are. Mostly.” Cinder sat down and picked up her journal she had kept, flipping through a few pages. “But I still want to apologize for everything I had done. I hurt you and many others for a cause I thought I believed in. I did many things I regret, killed so many people, and I ran away after you gave me a choice. For the longest time, I didnt think I was worthy of being given the same choice you gave everyone else, that you gave Emerald and Mercury, and Neo.” 

“Cinder, please-” 

“I need to make things right before I lose myself!” Cinder clutched her shaking, mechanical arm and took a breath as she held the cold metal of the mechanical wrist. “I… I need to make things right before I forget all of this.” 

Ruby looked at her curiously. “Forget? What do you mean forget?”

A small smirk came across Cinder’s lips as she laid back and looked up at the ceiling. “Turns out, having a grimm parasite grafted onto you affects you in ways you could never imagine. A… a part is still there even after you destroyed it. Eating away at my mind, my thoughts. Pieces of what I’ve been through are full of holes that I cant remember how I fell down this path, but I know I regret every minute of it.” 

“I’m… I’m sorry…” 

“Its what I deserve after everything I’ve done.” A small smile crossed Cinder’s lips for a moment as she thought back to what she could remember. Every death she caused, everyone she injured… if there were any happy times in her life, they were long faded memories as the grimm parasite feasted on them. “But it doesnt mean I dont regret everything I had done. The lies I followed in order to get the freedom I wanted, the things I had to do in order to hold what little hope I had… if I had known then what I know now, I would’ve stopped myself from joining her.” 

Ruby sighed and gently took Cinder’s hand. “None of us did things we were proud of. And while I tried to keep people safe, I still had to take lives and make decisions I wish I never had. I cant say I ever forgave you, but… its been long enough that I dont see a point in trying to convince you otherwise.” 

“Then… can you promise me one thing?” 

“And what is that?” 

“Make my story one to remember,” Cinder said as she handed over her journal. “I dont want others to make the same mistakes that I did.” 

Ruby hesitated as she took the journal. “I cant do that.” 

Cinder nodded and blinked for a moment, the name of the person standing in front of her slipping her mind as she stood up and made her way to the window. She gripped the windowsill to keep her balance as she stared out the window. “I hear a storm is going to be coming today. The leaves keep dancing in the wind.” 

“Wait, you cant just leave this on me! Surely there’s someone better that can tell your story! Emerald or Mercury. Maybe Weiss!” 

Cinder paused for a moment as she listened to those names, none of them drawing any memories out even with how familiar they sounded. “You should probably start making your way home before you’re stuck here until the weather clears up. I know even on a sunny day it can take someone like us a while to get home.” 

Ruby sighed and tucked away the journal. “Right. Then… maybe I can come by again sometime.” 

“Its always nice to have visitors.” Cinder paused for a moment. “Though, I cant recall your name.” 

“Its Ruby.” 

“Thank you for visiting me, Ruby. It was nice meeting you.” 

“It… it was nice meeting you too.” 

Cinder smiled a bit as she stared out the window, listening to the sounds of the cane tapping along the floor. Her fingers slowly tapped against the windowsill as flames danced around her fingers, a trick she never seemed to have forgotten even if she had forgotten how she came to possess the wonderful flames that kept her fingers warm. A small voice ran through the back of her mind, a voice she remembered hearing a lot time ago but couldnt place any longer. 

“Do you believe in destiny?” the voice asked. 

“Yes, yes I do,” Cinder mumbled to herself as her eyes started to glow and the flames started to leave her fingers. “And I think its time to finally move on.”

[gothtransandroid]

Contemplating: What is Necromancy

There has been an excessive amount of speculation on proper methods here as to what can be done with necromancy and not much about what rules and realistic expectations one can have with the practice in a fantasy setting. Most of this will be personal takes and never feel that your take is less valid so long as your logic holds up with the rest of the world youve made for it to exist in.

To begin with, necromancy originates from an old practice of communicating with the dead to know the future as, back when such things were taken as real, people believed that the dead were untethered from the rules of both time and space, and could learn of the future by peering through the veil. With this in mind, spells for communicating with the dead should always be present on some level if you feel like a traditionalist in these things, from the smallest bit of flavor to the most plot critical elements it will add something extra by being grounded in a bit of reality.

Ideas can include therapy for the grieving who didnt get to say goodbye, crime scene detectives interviewing victims carefully, legal concerns over inheritance being resolved directly in lieu of a will and even historical documentation and verification of hypotheisis if a powerful enough necromancer can find an old enough spirit to connect with.

Now for the hard parts; necromancy in the common modern sense is using magic to influence the dead or dead things to do what you want them to. This can be drying and rotting out a dead thing into spellcasting ingredients or animating a skeleton to serve you in combat or chores. The mechanisms behind this are dependant on your world system and its physics but my preference is that all living things have a soul-like resevoir where the vital essence lies and when death occurs it is emptied. Then, a novice mage can fill that space with magic and puppet the dead object with said magic to twist it to their whim.

My personal take means that necromancy is easy, so much so that its like a gun: pick it up, load it and point, then the action happens. Dangerous, worse when respect is dropped from the equation, and made worse the more complex it gets. This isnt to say that necromancy is only a weapon, but that because its so easily used as one that it shouldnt be practiced without extreme regulation, and the ease of which it can be done means that such regulation is hard to maintain. If anyone can take their recently killed family and rampage through town in a bid for revenge against the killers while hurting people in the crossfire, it is not just traumatic but also generally horrific for all involved.

A hard question: does necromancy affect rot and decay? Personally, I say yes because it opens the space for more interesting uses of the magic. My take involves with how bacteria are living things, and a novice would be able to inject magic in the bacteria to force dead and even living bacteria to work faster, but because they are pushed in this way they also are pushed though absorbing the dead bacteria and reproducing new bacteria, inevitably bursting and causing a corpse explosion. A master, though, could work and shift the bacteria in such a way where you could make living people ill, cure living people of some illness, pick and choose which bacteria affect a dead thing and outright kill the bacteria and other microflora all at once.

Now for the positives: necromancy can affect any dead thing, from preserving plants and meat by accelerating the aging process in a clean environment, to forcing fermentation in certain foods and substances that can even make alcohols to sterilize and clean with. Necromancy could make a medical environment sterile faster than some other magics when broken down into potential capabilities. A fun fact is that the bacteria and temperature of a decaying human body kills off most dangerous viruses and bacteria to people so accelerating the breakdown of a body would be clean disposal of a body for sanitaion purposes, and the same works with some animals.

Redeeming the necromancer past a boogeyman who assaults the countryside is just a matter of open-mindedness. Detectives, historians, morticians, doctors, therapists, even personal lawyers could be necromancera in your setting if you just take what can be done and apply it.

[setsunatekiblast]

sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

[pesterloglog]

Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley

Candy, page 15

GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

JOHN: oops???

ROXY: its fine gamz

ROXY: accidents happen

ROXY: um

ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today

ROXY: wow now that im up here its like

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i have no idea what to say

ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say

ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider

ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it

ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing

ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess

ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did

ROXY: so im just gonna say that

ROXY: im glad that he was in my life

ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

DAVE: hey guys

DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real

DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now

DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves

DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything

DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head

DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby

DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta

DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess

DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink

DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this

DAVE: i used to do that a lot

DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth

DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood

DAVE: not gonna go into details but

DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault

DAVE: not this specific version of him

DAVE: the one i grew up with was a

DAVE: a

DAVE: he was

DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead

DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful

DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid

DAVE: or

DAVE: raising a kid in general

DAVE: i was more like his disciple

DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever

DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with

DAVE: you know

DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person

DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it

DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works

DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c

DAVE: who knows with him

DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option

DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it

DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant

DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy

DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you

DAVE: well not intentionally i mean

DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro

DAVE: im over that

DAVE: like as much as you can get over it

DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire

DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like

DAVE: shit dude

DAVE: i feel great

DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??

DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life

DAVE: etc

DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk

DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane

DAVE: and like just chill with him

DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue

DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him

DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life

DAVE: which i did

DAVE: but despite that i

DAVE: i looked up to him

DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro

DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt

DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him

DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth

DAVE: but im glad he didnt

DAVE: he taught me about combat

DAVE: philosophy

DAVE: life

DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice

DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too

DAVE: so in the end

DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now

DAVE: but thats probably ok right

DAVE: like its ok

DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies

DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers

DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that

DAVE: but hes not

DAVE: so

DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that

ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give

ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point

ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void

ROXY: as many as we fuckin can

GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.

GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.

GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.

GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!

GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.

GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.

GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)

GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(

GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:

GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.

KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.

GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.

GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.

GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...

GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.

GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!

GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.

GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.

GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...

ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!

ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!

ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!

GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.

ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)

ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)

JAKE: Gulp! Uh...

ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)

JAKE: Oh... Okay.

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!

ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)

JOHN: uhh, hi guys!

DAVE: hey

KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.

JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.

JOHN: dave, are you ok?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well no

DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think

DAVE: so for once i think im having like

DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing

DAVE: which loops around back to being ok

DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively

JOHN: are you SURE?

KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: because i was thinking...

JOHN: do you... want me to go back?

DAVE: go

DAVE: back??

JOHN: with my retcon powers.

JOHN: i could go back and stop him.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: JOHN!

JOHN: what!

KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?

JOHN: what!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: come on what are my powers

JOHN: ummm... time travel?

DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea

JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.

JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?

DAVE: ehhh well actually

JOHN: but!

JOHN: if i retcon it...

JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!

JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.

DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.

JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are

DAVE: oh yeah be right there

JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??

KARKAT: YES! GOD!

KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!

JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby

JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes

JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???

KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!

DAVE: john

DAVE: i get what you were trying to do

DAVE: but

DAVE: its ok dude

DAVE: im ok

JOHN: that’s weird...

JOHN: it was working just the other day.

ROXY: lmao john its just me

ROXY: doin ok up there b?

JOHN: i’m fine!!!

JOHN: wait. b?

ROXY: yea like short for babe

ROXY: cuz ur my babe b

JOHN: oh, haha. right.

ROXY: is dave ok?

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: are YOU okay?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: yea

ROXY: actually

ROXY: im more than ok

ROXY: cause ive been thinking

JOHN: oh?

ROXY: about you n me

ROXY: and this

ROXY: hey john

ROXY: we should get hitched

JOHN: ummmmmm...

JOHN: um...

JOHN: ...what???

ROXY: um what WHAT?

ROXY: john cmon

ROXY: marry me

JOHN: like...

JOHN: right NOW?

ROXY: lmao totes

ROXY: were already at the church n everything

JOHN: o-oh my god.

JOHN: oh my god!

ROXY: john

JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??

ROXY: no LOL

ROXY: john u take everything so literally

ROXY: its fuckin adorbs

JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit

ROXY: and i gotta even all that out

ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment

ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest

ROXY: its cute as fuck and also

ROXY: i always know where i stand with you

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: sides this whole

ROXY: THING with dirk

ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal

ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever

ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love

JOHN: you...

JOHN: LOVE me??

ROXY: yea john i love you

ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you

JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.

JOHN: that’s a LOT.

ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn

ROXY: just know its on the table

JOHN: i...

JOHN: i...

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!

ROXY: ooo u want to do it??

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: er... i mean...

JOHN: um, yeah. that too.

JOHN: but i meant...

JOHN: about the getting married thing.

JOHN: let’s... do that!

JOHN: let’s totally get married!!

ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!