#who knows he turns as the psychopath for season 3?

[alsofoundinpeas]

Rewind the Goodbye

Summary: One night is all it takes to unravel everything Y/N and Spencer had carefully built over the years of their relationship. But sometimes, the things we break can be mended once more.

(Basically an AU for the events of season 15 episode 6 Date Night)

Requested fic!! 🥳: Can we get a smutty Spencer Reid x reader reunion? It's them passionately coming back together after a messy breakup (JJ's confession or Cat's date night). Basically Spencer grovelling and worshipping reader. Happy/hopeful ending!

CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Cat Adams (she's a warning all on her own). Really intense argument (both Spencer and Reader say some pretty mean things). Oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), unprotected PinV sex (do not actually do this k thanks!!), creampie (can we pls find another word for this pls), crying during sex (both Spencer and reader oops), groveling/begging man (Spence, I'm looking at you babe), heavy praise, multiple orgasms (f!receiving) and slight overstimulation (both parties). Angst turned happy ending!! Ex's to lovers!!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader/afab!reader

A/N: My very first request!! :') Thank you so very much to the anon who requested this <3 I hope you like it! :) I chose to go with the Cat storyline because I had to prove I am NOT a JJ hater LMAO plus I felt like it was a really interesting dynamic to play off of because I always felt it was odd how chill Max was about her family getting kidnapped and him making out with an actual psychopath in front of her (I get that Max is simply a chill girl and beyond super understanding, which we love!! I’m just saying I personally would’ve tweaked a smidge (not on him, just overall LMAO). This was as fun as it was heart-wrenching to write and I truly hope you guys enjoy it. As always, please like, reblog, and share with your friends if you enjoy it. I love you all! K <3

Y/N remembered the night everything fell apart as if it had happened only yesterday.

She'd been on edge all evening, knowing Spencer was only on the date with Cat for the sake of his job and for the sake of rescuing her father and sister. It didn't make the plan any easier to swallow. Her mind raced with worry as she paced the apartment, waiting for him to come home. All she wanted was for her family to be safe. For Spencer to be safe.

Things had been strained between them ever since Spencer got out of prison. Y/N knew he couldn't be the same person he was before. She understood that. But she hadn't expected this—his detachment, the walls he'd built between them.

He stopped talking to her, stopped sharing his thoughts, retreating inward until the pressure became too much. Then, he'd snap—lashing out in bursts of anger, throwing things, slamming doors, yanking at his hair. He never turned that anger on her directly, but it didn't matter. Seeing the man she'd once known as calm and steady unravel before her was jarring and heartbreaking, especially after years of him being the embodiment of composure.

Y/N remained patient through it all. Spencer had endured more in his short life than most could fathom. The least she could do was offer her empathy and support, no matter how much he pushed her away, reacting like a wounded animal desperate to protect itself. She was determined to do whatever it took to help mend the beautiful, fractured man she loved, even if it meant enduring a few emotional scars along the way.

Y/N never expected those emotional scars to include all of this.

She could feel her heart shattering as the door to their apartment creaked open, revealing her fiancé passionately making out with the most vile woman to walk the Earth. His hands were cradling her face, pulling her into him as Cat stared straight at her.

It was more affection than Spencer had shown her since his release, and quite frankly it didn't seem like he was putting on much of an act.

The only reason Y/N was at the apartment instead of searching for her sister was because the team had located her father—thankfully, he was safe and unharmed, aside from a few bruises—and had contacted her with a plan that Spencer wasn’t aware of. They had uncovered Cat’s hidden agenda: Juliette had been watching Spencer and had discovered the one secret he’d managed to keep from Cat—her. Now, Cat wanted to destroy his life one final time before she died.

The team anticipated that Cat would want to return to their apartment to flaunt the fact that Spencer was 'hers.' Once Cat's ego was satisfied, she'd be more likely to slip up and reveal information about her sister's whereabouts. Y/N agreed without hesitation. After all, she’d do anything to ensure the safety of the people she loved—even if it meant putting herself in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous position with a psychopath.

JJ had coached her on how to mask her emotions in front of Cat, preparing her for the inevitable confrontation. What JJ hadn't prepared her for was watching the love of her life shove his tongue down Cat's throat like he'd never felt the touch of a woman before.

Y/N braced herself, locking eyes with Cat as she adopted a detached, nonchalant demeanor.

Internally, she felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to curl up and sob into her knees until this nightmare was over. She had already felt powerless when Spencer was wrongfully imprisoned, and now the guilt of her father and sister being taken by Cat’s former cellmate was gnawing at her from the inside out.

All of that pain and heartache for a man who clearly no longer loved her.

Y/N remained composed for the rest of the evening, leaving with Emily as soon as possible to be with her dad and sister now that it was all over. She didn’t spare Spencer a single glance on her way out, choosing to fight that battle later.

And a battle it was.

When Y/N saw her sister's tear-streaked face and her father's defeated posture despite trying to put on a brave front, she knew she needed to stay with them for a few days. She ignored all of Spencer's calls and texts, replying only with a terse I'll be home by Friday. Though she tried to rationalize it as something Spencer had done out of necessity to save her family, the image of him kissing Cat haunted her, and she couldn’t bring herself to face him right now.

As Y/N stepped into their eerily silent apartment Friday night, she immediately realized how much of a mistake ignoring Spencer had been. She quietly closed the door behind her, slipped off her shoes, and placed them on the rack. But as she turned to head toward their room, she was met with the sight of Spencer right behind her, so unexpectedly close that she yelped, her heart racing as she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus fucking Christ—"

"Why have you been ignoring me?"

Spencer’s voice was cold, his eyes filled with pain as he looked down at her. Y/N felt a rush of guilt at the expression on his face, her resolve faltering for a moment before she reminded herself why she had been avoiding him in the first place. That guilt hardened into anger, her eyes narrowing as she glared up at him.

"Why did you make out with a deranged criminal?"

Spencer stood frozen, his mouth slightly agape as confusion flickered across his face. Y/N brushed past him, heading into the kitchen. Her purse hit the counter with a loud clatter. She knew she wasn’t being fair, but the hurt and exhaustion weighed too heavily on her to care.

"Y/N, I didn’t have a choice—" Spencer protested, trailing after her with his hands raised in frustration. "I didn't know you'd be here! That was the last thing I wanted to happen, but I did it for the sake of the case."

She rolled her eyes, a bitter laugh escaping as she leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "So you can tongue-fuck her for the sake of the case... yet you won’t lift a finger to keep your fiancée?"

The words had left her mouth before she could stop them, but she meant them.

Spencer stood across the kitchen, a look of disbelief on his face. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why would I be losing you?"

Y/N chewed on her lower lip, casting her gaze to the floor. If there was ever a time to finally let it all out, now would be it. So, with a deep exhale, she began.

"Spencer… I’ve tried to be patient, and I’ve tried to understand, knowing what you went through was unimaginable. I'm not at all saying I expect you to be who you once were, because I know that's impossible. But most days, I feel more like your doormat than your fiancée. You only talk to me in short, half-hearted conversations, and I’m the one who usually has to start them. I feel like I have to beg for your time when you're home. We haven’t been on a date in months. You won’t even talk to me about the wedding anymore…" Y/N’s voice cracked as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I’ve tolerated all of that, and yet I’m supposed to just accept that you kissed the woman who not only destroyed your life, but mine too—taking the man I love and turning him into this… hollow version of who he used to be?"

All she wanted was for him to truly listen, to finally acknowledge how things had been between them, and to try—just try—to make an effort to fix them.

Instead, he did the opposite.

"Are you seriously playing the victim when what I did was to save your family?" Spencer snapped, disbelief in his voice. "Did you even consider for a second how traumatizing that whole night was for me? Going on a date with a woman who tried to kill my mother, who framed me for a crime I didn’t commit that left me rotting in that hellhole for months? But I’m the villain because I’m processing my own trauma, and I’m not up your ass planning a wedding I never even wanted?!"

Y/N's heart sank as his words cut through her, tears welling up in her eyes. A wedding he never wanted? The hurt and frustration she’d been suppressing for months bubbled to the surface, and she fixed him with a steely glare, her anger flaring.

"My family never would have been in that situation if you had a normal fucking job!" she shouted, her finger jabbing at him in accusation. "And as for the wedding you never wanted, fine. We won’t have one!" With a fierce motion, she ripped the ring off her finger and slammed it onto the counter before storming down the hallway toward their bedroom, tears streaming down her face.

Spencer’s chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as he stared at the ring on the counter, his pride battling his guilt. Despite knowing he was in the wrong, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Y/N had been nothing but loving and devoted to him, yet something ugly inside him had taken over, and he couldn’t control it.

"That’s not what I meant," Spencer said, his voice tight as he went after her. "But if that’s how you want to spin it, fine—what are you doing?" He stopped dead in the doorway, his heart sinking as he watched Y/N hastily pack a duffle bag. What was he even doing?

"I can't do this anymore," Y/N sobbed, lifting the duffle bag onto her shoulder as she turned to face him. Her plan was to spend a night or two with her best friend to let everything die down between them so they could talk rationally.

She had only meant the fighting, but Spencer took it as the end of everything between them.

"Then leave! Since that's clearly what you want so badly," Spencer hissed, his voice sharp, though the tears welling in his eyes betrayed his anger. The last thing he wanted was for her to walk away. Why had he said that?

Y/N just shook her head, pushing past him and out of the room. She grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter and, with a furious shout of "Fuck you!" down the hall, slammed the front door behind her.

For the rest of the weekend, Y/N stayed with her family, retreating to her childhood bed every night where she cried herself to sleep. By Wednesday, she had found a one-bedroom apartment across town that was available to move into immediately. She checked with Emily, confirming that the team was away on a case (thankfully, Emily didn’t ask any questions). Y/N spent that week packing up her things, and moving out while Spencer was gone. On the day she left, she placed the key beside the ring on the counter, taking a final, aching glance at the symbol of everything she had once hoped for. Then, with a heavy heart, she closed the door, leaving everything she’d ever wanted behind.

Now, standing in her pajamas with her mouth slightly agape, Y/N found herself staring in disbelief at none other than Spencer Reid on her doorstep.

She blinked rapidly, ensuring she was awake and not caught in another dream. But she wasn’t dreaming. Spencer was standing before her—real, panting, and drenched. It was the first time she’d seen him since moving out three months ago, and 'exhausted' didn’t even begin to cover how he looked. Her mouth opened and closed, struggling to find the words.

“…How did you find out where I live?”

Spencer looked down, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I… I asked Penelope to find your new address."

Y/N scoffed, shaking her head as she reached for the door to slam it in his face. The nerve of him, having his coworker practically stalk her and then showing up after breaking her heart—

"Y/N, wait—please!" Spencer called out, wedging his foot in the door as she tried to shut it. "Just hear me out. Please?"

Her shoulders slumped as she paused, torn between the urge to shut him out and the pull to let him in. After a moment, she opened the door just wide enough for him to step through. As much as it pained her to face him, her love for him—and the ache of missing him—was deeper than words could ever express.

"I'll get you a towel, and then we can sit," Y/N muttered, rushing toward the bathroom as he stood by the door, slipping off his shoes.

Her heart clenched at the sight of him when she returned, their fingers lightly brushing as she passed him the plush towel.

Spencer was soaked through from the pouring rain, shivering as the damp fabric clung to his skin. She could see the discomfort in his posture as if the wet clothes were grating against him. He reminded her of those heart-wrenching shelter dogs in commercials—lost, vulnerable, and desperately needing care. He looked so pitiful… and all she wanted was to take care of him like she used to.

“Go sit on the couch. I’ll be right back,” Y/N instructed quietly, her expression softening as his weary eyes met hers.

Spencer furrowed his brows in confusion but complied, folding the towel and sitting carefully to keep the cushions dry. Y/N disappeared down the hallway, returning shortly with a pair of pajamas in her hands. As she offered them to him, a sharp pang of jealousy shot through him. He glanced down at the men’s clothes, then looked up at her, his expression filled with quiet hurt.

"Oh, come on," Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes as she sat beside him. "They’re yours. I… found them mixed in with my things and just kept them in my drawer."

That was a lie. She had carefully packed them, clinging to the smallest piece of him when she left. But what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Spencer unfolded the clothes, the knot in his chest loosening as he recognized them as his missing pajamas. The jealousy that had gripped him slowly faded, replaced by relief. "Sorry," he said softly, standing up from the couch. "Where can I… um, change into these?"

"The bathroom's down the hallway, to the left," Y/N said, gesturing vaguely toward the dark corridor.

Once Spencer was changed into the dry clothes and not trembling like a leaf, he stiffly sat beside her again. Y/N frowned, taking a moment to really look at him, and a wave of concern washed over her. His once bright, maple-syrup eyes—eyes she used to gaze into with such love—were now dull and shadowed by dark circles. His stubble had grown out, and he sat hunched, as though the weight of the world was bearing down on him.

"Spencer… what are you doing here?" Y/N asked, her words cutting through the thick silence that had settled between them.

His gaze shifted from his hands, nervously twisting in his lap, to meet her eyes. There was a quiet, desperate longing in his gaze as he studied her, almost as if he were reacquainting himself with the woman in front of him. It had only been three months since they'd separated, but even a single day apart from her felt like an eternity.

“Y/N…” Spencer’s voice faltered, his lower lip trembling as he drew in a shaky breath. “Three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. You tried to tell me how you were feeling, but I—” His words broke off, and he swallowed hard, eyes lowering as a single tear slipped down his cheek.

Y/N instinctively reached for his hands, unable to stop herself, her heart aching at the sight of his pain.

“I never meant a word of what I said that night. I swear I didn’t. I just— I lashed out, Y/N,” Spencer confessed, his voice breaking under the weight of his words. “I was scared. I sabotaged myself. I let the anger take over, convinced that Cat had finally won—that she’d ruined everything by taking away the one thing I couldn’t live without… you.”

Spencer’s tears flowed freely now, his face streaked with grief. He gripped her hands as though they were his last lifeline, afraid that if he loosened his hold, he'd flatline right there on her couch.

"But this is the one thing I can't blame on her… Despite everything she’s done, I was the one that pushed you away. I had convinced myself that once I came home and you learned what I had to do to survive, you’d be disgusted by me… that you’d hate who I’d become. So I shut you out, thinking it would spare me from that. But regardless of everything, you were still there—supportive, patient, loving... And I just... I was such an asshole."

Spencer clenched his eyes shut, his throat tightening as he struggled to pull himself together.

"I was so wrapped up in my own fears, convinced of something that wasn’t even real, that I ended up making it happen. When you tried to talk to me that night, I was sure you were trying to end things, so I panicked and ended everything like an absolute idiot. I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I should’ve just listened."

Y/N’s eyes widened, a small gasp slipping from her lips as he moved from his spot beside her on the couch to sink to the ground in front of her. He let go of her hands, gripping her hips and digging his head into her lap as sobs wracked his body.

"Y/N, please," Spencer's voice cracked, his eyes searching hers with desperation when he looked up. "I know I hurt you, and I can’t undo that. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it… and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it, but I can’t live without you. Please... take me back. I'll do whatever it takes. I need you more than anything. You’re my everything." His words were a soft, broken whisper, and his eyes filled with tears as he looked up at her, hoping for a chance to make things right.

Y/N felt her heart break all over again as she looked down at Spencer, her trembling hands coming up to cradle his face as she exhaled deeply.

Even though the pain from everything that had happened still gnawed at her, his explanation dulled some of the grief and filled in the gaps of her confusion. Over the three months apart, she hadn’t come to hate him as she’d feared. In fact, it was the opposite—being without him had only made her love him more. Now that she knew the emptiness of life without him, she couldn’t imagine a future for herself that he wasn’t a part of.

"Spencer… I never stopped being yours," Y/N whispered, her thumb brushing away his tears. "I’m still hurt, but I can’t picture my life without you. You’re my heart, my forever... Nothing will change that. So, if you're willing to put in the work to fix your mistake, then I'm willing to give us another chance."

Spencer looked up at her, his heart racing with a mixture of relief and disbelief that she wasn't turning him away, but giving him the chance to return. "I don't deserve you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "But I’m so, so thankful for you, Y/N. I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know." He sniffled, his breath shaky as he gently pressed a kiss to her wrist.

Y/N smiled wistfully, letting out a soft, watery laugh as she felt his lips on her skin. "Come here, Spence," she whispered, gently pulling him up to meet her before pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

The moment their lips met again, after months of separation, a spark ignited between them, breathing life back into their souls as they lost themselves in each other. Within seconds, their kiss shifted from gentle and heartfelt to intense and all-consuming. Every emotion they'd felt while apart transferred between them through the brushing of their tongues, translating into action as their hands began to roam.

A simultaneous moan filled the air between them, fueling Spencer as he broke the kiss to stand from his awkward positioning on the floor to lift Y/N into his arms in a surprising show of strength. She squealed, wrapping her legs around his waist as he began to carry her down the hall toward her bedroom. With an impatient shove of his foot, the door opened, allowing them to stumble into her dimly lit room in a fit of breathless giggles.

The storm howled outside, lightning slashing through the darkness, briefly lighting the room with each strike as Spencer laid her across the middle of her bed, pressing a passionate kiss to her lips once more.

“How did—“ Spencer’s lips left hers to trail down her jaw. “I ever—“ A soft moan fell from her as his lips made their way to the crook of her neck. “Think I could live without this?” A sharp gasp escaped into the night air as he sucked a possessive mark into her skin.

Satisfied with the bruise blossoming across her skin, his mouth dragged upwards back to hers. “There isn’t… a single lifetime… or universe… where every atom in my body…. wouldn’t be irresistibly drawn to you,” He murmured reverently between kisses, pressing her further into the bed as he hovered above her. A moan rumbled in his chest as her fingers tangled into his damp hair, her mouth moving frantically against his.

“Spencer—“ Y/N whimpered, breaking the kiss and arching into his touch as his hips rolled against hers. “I need you—“

"I know, sweetheart. I know," he whispered softly. "But I've got so much time to make up for. I'm going to take it slow, and I'm going to show you how much you truly mean to me."

Spencer slithered down her body, kneeling on the ground and pulling her toward the edge of the bed until her legs dangled over the side, pressing a kiss to each of her knees as he settled between them. “Going to worship you the way you deserve,” He breathed, his fingers finding the drawstring of her pajama pants and untying them slowly as he kept his eyes on hers.

Y/N sat up on her elbows, her breath hitched as he dragged the fabric off of her body. Hot, open-mouthed kisses peppered up and down the inside of her thighs as soon as the pants hit the ground, his fingers tracing up her goose-bumped skin until they found the edge of her panties. He leaned forward, unable to hold himself back any longer as he dragged them down her body with his teeth.

A shiver ran down her spine as he trailed his lips up her leg, the anticipation heightening her sensitivity. Before she could beg for him to just get on with it, his mouth latched onto her clit, lapping furiously at her arousal.

“Oh— fuck!” Y/N cried out, her hands shooting out to thread through his hair as he began to devour her.

Spencer groaned against her skin, his hands gripping her hips so tightly she was sure there would be small, fingerprint shaped bruises the next day. His eyes were squeezed shut, a look of pure ecstasy on his face while he buried his face in her folds. He lapped at her as though she herself were an aphrodisiac, dizzying and potent and all consuming in a way that left him helpless to her effect on him.

Y/N writhed underneath him as he pulled her into him, soft noises slipping unabashedly from her lips as pleasure seared through her.

He released one of her hips to bring his fingers up to her entrance. Slowly, he slipped his middle finger into her warmth, his tongue flicking against her clit in tandem as he began to thrust the digit into her. He soon followed it with his ring finger, curling them in the way he knew would have her shaking against him.

“God— I missed this. Missed you,” Spencer groaned, turning his head to nip at her thigh as he panted against her skin. His fingers thrusted harder, repeatedly brushing her G-spot as she cried out for him. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl? Hm?”

Y/N whined, nodding frantically as her grip tightened in his hair. “I’m... please, I’m so close—“ she panted, a guttural moan wrenching its way from her throat as he returned his mouth to her clit.

That’s all it took to push her over the edge. As she crumbled beneath him, a thunderclap reverberated through the walls, its timing almost poetic in its synchronization with her climax. Her thighs clamped around his head as her hips bucked into his touch, trembling as he worked her through it.

“That’s it, honey. Fuck, you’re divine—“ Spencer cooed, hovering above her again as his lips pressed to her forehead. “I need to be inside of you. Need to feel you. Please, sweetheart?”

Y/N’s chest was heaving as she panted, still reeling from the first orgasm she’d had in months. Dazedly, she nodded, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. “Please, Spence. Need you so bad, baby—“

Spencer whined, breaking away from her to hurriedly lift her shirt over her head. The sight of her, bare and flushed from her orgasm, had an almost feral wave of arousal crashing over him. Before him lied the woman he loved with every fiber of his being, trusting him with her heart again despite the pain he'd caused her before. This time, though, he was determined to protect it— to show her, day after day, just how deeply he loved her, ensuring she'd never feel forgotten or neglected again.

He stripped away his own layers, trembling with anticipation as he crawled over her. Y/N shifted, her thighs parting to make room for him between them as she laid back against her pillows. The tension in the air was palpable as he braced his arms on either side of her head, lowering himself so their chests brushed together.

"I love you, Y/N. More than words can ever say," Spencer murmured, resting his forehead against hers as he lined up his aching cock at her entrance. "You are the reason I breathe, the reason I wake up each day. You’re my saving grace, my redemption… I love you."

Y/N’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she cradled his face, their noses brushing in a soft, intimate touch. "I love you, Spencer,” she whispered, her voice thick with raw emotion. “Every version of you. Always and forever.”

Their mouths dropped open into a silent moan as he slowly began to ease into her, inch by inch as Y/N re-adjusted to the stretch of him. Spencer's eyes fluttered shut at the overwhelming sensation of finally being inside of her again after so long, inhaling sharply through his nose as he bottomed out. Her nails dug into his shoulder, the sting only heightening the intense pleasure coursing through him.

"You feel so good, sweetheart," He moaned brokenly, hissing as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "So, so perfect for me."

Y/N whimpered, wriggling her hips in a silent plea for him to start moving. Her head tipped back into the pillow at his first thrust, a soft gasp falling from her lips as he repeated the motion. Her hands left his shoulders, finding purchase in his hair as she pulled his mouth to hers once more as he found a steady rhythm.

Spencer moaned into her mouth, rocking into her with short, hard thrusts. Tears slipped down Spencer’s face, falling softly onto her cheeks as he held her close. He couldn’t contain the overwhelming rush of emotion, savoring the warmth of having the love of his life back in his arms. He never thought he'd feel this again, and he couldn’t be more grateful as he pulled back to stare at the woman beneath him.

Tears streamed down her face as she gazed up at him, her eyes full of reverence. The silent mix of their tears spoke volumes, each drop a reflection of everything they had been through and everything they were now.

Y/N's nails dragged down his back as his hips began to pound into hers, the bed creaking with each sharp thrust he delivered. Spencer was murmuring into the crook of her neck now, needy moans slipping free between the soft praise he rained down upon her as she cried out for him.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart. My sweet girl. I love you," he crooned into her skin, panting as he neared his climax. "Love how you feel for me. So fucking wet. So tight."

Their moans mingled together as he shifted above her, resting his weight on one arm as the other pressed her knee toward her chest. The change in angle drove him straight into her G-spot, causing her to cry out his name as he drilled into her.

"You're everything I could ever need. You have every part of my soul, all of it. I'm yours—completely and utterly yours."

Spencer's words triggered her second orgasm, her walls clenching around him as she sobbed her release. He groaned loudly, the feeling of her cumming around his cock sending him hurtling off the edge as he sank as deeply as he could inside of her, giving her everything he had.

His hips rolled into hers gently as they came down from their highs until they were both whimpering from the oversensitivity, finally slowing to a stop as he collapsed on top of her. His lips softly pressed against her skin, a flurry of kisses landing on her face and shoulder. She laughed, trying to wiggle away from him, pushing him gently as she playfully squirmed beneath his affection.

As they cleaned up, tender kisses and gentle words passed between them, the heavy burden of the past few months slowly lifting. In the stillness, a quiet peace settled between them, a mutual understanding that no matter what came next, everything would be okay because they had each other once more. They crawled back into her bed, cuddling together as they listened to the storm start to die down.

"So… I can ask Emily for some time off next week, and we can get you moved back in?" Spencer suggested, his fingers lightly tracing up and down her back as they lay together.

Y/N tilted her head, a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth as she looked up at him. "You do realize I’ve still got three months left on this lease, right?"

Spencer waved his hand, a hint of urgency in his voice as he shook his head. “I’ll cover the rest of it. Then you can break the lease, Y/N. Just come home, please.”

Her heart warmed at the depth of sincerity in his voice, knowing he meant every word. Sighing softly, she gave in, nodding as she nestled closer to him, feeling the exhaustion slowly take over. They exchanged quiet, tender kisses and murmured goodnights, and soon Spencer’s breathing slowed, signaling he was asleep. Once she was sure he was resting peacefully, she carefully pulled back just enough to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, her lips lingering for a brief moment before she whispered into the stillness of the room.

“You are my home.”

Continued A/N's: I think this was quite honestly one of my favorite fics I've written so far. I love love love some angst turned happy ending and I LOVE a man begging on his knees 🙂‍↕️ Again, thank you so very much to the anon who requested this!! I have two more requests lined up after this that I can't wait to get written and posted. :) <3 K

REMINDER: I do NOT give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.

[issy5316]

goodbye

this is a callout post to @hinatasweetgrape

i know you'll be reading this, so i'll let my friends do the talking

oh, and they've seen your other account, @hinataNSFW

season 1:

jones: oh god, you are horrible! simping for a child as well?! and calling out other people's art?! at least they make it look decent and not use AI!

nathan: this is a faith worse than death, to ridicule people who work hard! and you can't even use their correct pronouns at all!

grace: sexualizing a child is horrible! leave julian out of your disgusting fantasies!

ramirez: horrible, just horrible! i know my art isn't always the best, but at least i put in effort, and you don't even get the skintones right for many of them! or make the whiter!

alex: i'm sorry you think your art is good! looking at it is horrifying! and your comments are so innapropriate!

cathy: i'm a hacker, if i had the chance, i would hack your account and make it disappear!

king: i may not understand technology that well, but you are doing a horrifying thing!

season 2:

andrea: what you are doing is so horrible, you think other art is shitty, but it's your art that's horrible, you haven't even drawn it at all! it's AI!

amy: the art is......horrible, and your other posts are just.......just horrible!

russell:'shaking'you are a psychopath......

frank: ya! i know i wasn't the best person and i wasn't best buddies with russell, but i would never sexually assault him! what if my daughters saw your posts and think i'm a horrible person?! and you would never capture karen's true beauty!

hannah: i wish i could delete your posts off my brain.

roxie: all the alcohol in the world can't make me forget what i just saw.

yann: my children could see those posts! are you ashamed of yourself at all?! i am horrified by those posts!

karen:........i am disgusted, i know me and frank don't always see eye to eye, but he would never assault someone!

season 3:

ripley:.........'vanishes'

ingrid: i'm almost tempted to turn back to my ice cold self just by looking at those posts.

jack: what the fuck did i just look at?!

lars: those posts are just so weird........even when i got high, i didn't see stuff like that!

angela: i hope you are ashamed of yourself for what you have done.

carmen: i am not white at all! you are a horrible sorry excuse of a wannabe artist!

marina: you need all the therapy of the world, and i don't think it will even help you.

jonah: i'm going to lock my weapons up before anyone finds them after seeing your art.

elliot: your art is horrible, but i can't see your other account since i'm 17, but after everything i heard, i'm glad i'm not 18.

michelle:........prepare to get sued.

season 4:

arthur: i am horrified with what the future generation is coming to! i am so disgusted right now!

richard: this self experiment of what i saw is making me feel things i don't like at all.

viola: even bad written plays are better than what i saw and read!

maddie: i don't want to solve this case since it's horrifying!

charles:........i thought the inventions would be better, i guess i was wrong.......

isaac: at least i'm dead by the time this is created.

evie: this is why i stay with books......

rose: i don't know what to do about this.......this is horrifying.

diego: at least i make my art look decent, unlike this wannabe art i'm looking at!

season 5:

diane: this is the most horrifying thing i've ever seen, and i've been working in the law for a while!

gloria: i'm so glad my son isn't going to be looking at this stuff you created.

martine:'curses in french'

rita: i think i'm going to give myself amnesia.

rupert: amir, is the new generation always like this?

amir: no, no it's not.

gabriel: people are insane if they think insulting good art work is good.......

season 6:

christopher: what am i looking at right now?

zara: nightare fuel is what i'm looking at.

janis: my grandchildren have better manners than you.

theo: i'm getting my lawyers.

kai: and i'm fixing the time machine to prevent us from looking at this.

orlando: you have horrible taste in words!

penelope:.......maybe i should stop writing fanfiction for awhile.

season 7:

jacob: you must be working with the demons to have your head so far up your ass.

gwen: you don't put effort at all or think, i hope you realize you are wrong........but i don't have hope for you.

luke: now i wish i was old enough to drink to forget what i just saw.

ben: i'm disappointed that our fandom is becoming corrupted because of people like you, i know our games aren't the best, but we deserve some respect!

priya: i wish i was in my werewolf form so i won't remember this.

hope: i don't have hope for your future in this fandom.

felix: i'm going to look for an elixar to forget about this.

season 8:

JP: gauthier, please buy some bleach for all of us.

gauthier: yes papa, i want to forget about this.

hugo:......i think i'll consider changing my behavior for once in my life.

carrie: i did not come to paris to witness this!

nadia: disgusting.......writing noncon, sexualizing a minor! i know i call dead peopel pretty, but at least i ask for consent and make sure they are an adult! i hope you will realize your mistakes one day!

enzo: i think i might change my behavior as well.......like hugo said.

emile:'shaking'i am getting away from the internet is you are here to make it unsafe!

lea: i agree with emile!

and that's all

hinata

i know you will say something about this, and i will be honest with you

you put in no effort at all, you made fun of other people's art, this fandom already has enough problems in it

so us a favor and think before you act, this fandom has drama, like the others, but that doens't mean you need to create it, we just want to have fun and you aren't doing us a favor by creating stuff like this, and insulting other people's work

you can block me, becausee guess what?

i don't give a flying fuck about your opinion

[piercethefic]

⚠️SAM WINCHESTER X fem Reader X SPENCER REID SMUT⚠️ 18 +

(Post prison reid - later season sam)

Warnings : p in v - very smutty - 3 some - double p. Ki**ing vamps - reader Begs for 3 sum - thigh riding

To skip the storyline , go to ⚠️SMUT⚠️

Background info - You are working a case with sam and Dean, and it so happens that the bau is also investigating the case. You find yourself in a tricky predicament when both of the handsome nerds want you.

Dean - "let's go bitches. Let's kick some vamp ass"

Meanwhile @ the bau :

Emily - "wheels up in 30"

You and the boys get ready to go out and kick some vampire ass , not knowing that the behavior analysis unit was already working the case. You're sitting behind sam , massaging his strong , muscular back because the last vamp hunt had you all exhausted and in pain , and you guys had a secret friends with benefits relationship that dean didn't know about. When you get to hotel you see a group of agents and know that this is ganna be a tough case , but one agent catches your eye , this tall dreamy agent who's appears to be discussing the logic of the psychopaths brain (you love nerds). You share a room with sam and Dean gets his own room. Later that night you guys decide to go to a party in the hotel that the bau is also investigating at to make yourself known to the agents. You walk up to Spencer and talk for what seems like hours about statistics and nerdy things while he stares down at your breast and sam stares at your ass , but the entire time , sam is eyeing Spencer jealously because he knows you thought he was sexy. Meanwhile - Dean gets a random stripper and takes her back to his room knowing she was the vamp - ⚠️ki**s her - You get the idea to invite both boys to your hotel room because having them both in the room is something you've been fantasizing for the whole night. (The boys are both so turned on by you.) When they get there they both expected to be alone with you and get to fuck you alone. Little did they know that you were ganna seduce them into a 3 sum. Both guys are so large and dominating , so you know you'll have to beg , but they'd do anything for a woman as stunning as you.

They apposed the idea at first - but you begged them - and said "Please🥺" and they caved in.

⚠️SMUT⚠️

You kissed Spencer while riding Sam's thigh until you cummed on his thigh and screamed their names almost in sync. You got ready to be fucked hard from both ends by the two biggest, sexiest , strongest men you know. You looked at Spencer , looking almost primal, then looked at sam , looking like he could eat you Alive , and sat on Sam's 12 inch , thick cock. Nothing could prepare you for what happened next , Spencer thrust into your ass roughly and groans like no man has before. Sam groans at the tightness of your grip and you scream at the pain and pleasure. You can't help but scream their names as they both fuck you at maximum speed in sync and groan your name. How could anyone ever fuck you like them? Their cocks are huge and you're no match for their genius speeds. You cum multiple times , shaky and barely holding yourself up, you feel both of them cum inside you at the same time. You get off and sam goes to get you a wet towel , and Spencer gets you water. You all lay down and cuddle all night.

The end 🩶

I worked for weeks on this story, lol. If you want more , tell me! 🌼🩷 I'm open for most Fandom, see my pinned post for list 🩷

[lovebirdgames]

MERRY (early) CHRISTMAS! This year I participated in indie VN dev Secret Santa. My giftee was Rice!! I checked out all their awesome free games on Itch and my favorite one was Wake Me Up If You Need Me because I love a cute lil romance. <3 In it you play as a psychopath who calls up this poor guy at 2am every night—nah it’s actually very sweet, I just felt bad keeping the poor boy awake!

Anyways I’m not the best artist, but wanted to draw a little something to go with what I wrote (see below the cut). Since MC doesn’t have an appearance, I got to be a little creative. Enjoy and be sure to check out Rice's games! @rice373, I hope you like it and have a wonderful holiday season!! <3

“Merry Christmas, Karu! Of course I wouldn’t forget you!” I happily dangle the catnip mouse a couple inches over the fluffy white cat’s head. His tail flicks with excitement and his pupils grow huge. I laugh as he expertly snatches it away with one swipe of his paw. “He likes it!”

“He really likes it,” Reed agrees as Karu flops over and begins bunny-kicking the poor mouse.

“Okay! My turn to open another present! Please don’t let this one be another calculus book…” I cast some side-eye on the Calculus for Dummies book I tossed onto my pile. “You’re not allowed to make me do math on Christmas, Reed!”

Reed rolls his eyes and rubs at the forever-present dark circles under them. “Trust me, that book will be the gift that keeps on giving. For both of us.” 

“Yeah, okay,” I snort as I tear the candy cane-colored wrapping paper off my next present, harboring zero intention of cracking that book open. 

“And with my phone being broken, you need something to fall back on.”

I nod along, keeping a smooth expression. Calling him in the middle of the night is much more fun than being forced to read a calculus book. Hearing his voice and giving him a hard time is like a little reward for my suffering. 

The sight of my next gift makes me gasp. “An owl onesie?!”

“For my favorite night owl,” Reed chuckles, pink tinging his cheeks. 

I immediately put it on. “It’s so comfy cozy! I’m never gonna take it off!”

“That might earn you several strange looks when you go to class.”

“Okay, I can’t take the suspense anymore…time for you to open your present!” I pull a neatly-wrapped gift from the pile and offer it with both hands. He smiles and goes to accept, but I suddenly feel self-conscious. “I’m sorry I only got you the one present! I used up all my savings. And I know you said not to go too crazy, but I couldn’t stop myself…”

Instead of recklessly tearing through to the present as I do, Reed carefully unsticks each piece of tape and gently unwraps the paper, as if to preserve it. When he sees the gift I got him, his jaw drops.

“I…you…you got me a phone?!”

“Do you like it?”

“This is too much! The new models are so expensive!”

I giggle at his beaming face. “It’s a present to me, too, so I can go back to calling you every night!”

“You really shouldn’t have.” He tries to inject some sarcasm into his voice, but he’s far too overjoyed to pull it off. In awe, he opens up the new phone to marvel at it. “Wow. My old phone was…”

“Ancient.”

“Yeah. This is amazing! Thank you so much.”

Reed wraps me in a hug. I sigh, enjoying his warmth. “Merry Christmas, Reed.”

“Merry Christmas. Your number will be the first one I add.”

I laugh, full of glee.

While Reed plays around with his new phone, I attempt to clean up the tornado of wrapping paper I created. Karu is having a blast hiding and shooting through it, easily distracting me. In the end, I wind up constructing a huge wrapping paper mountain for her to play in.

“Hmm…” Reed murmurs as he explores his new phone. “Since this phone is way newer than my old one, it should have a lot of new features and updates…”

“Yup!” I lean over his shoulder to see the screen and point stuff out. “The camera on this phone is sooo much better. Look, look, you can take a picture of Karu and turn her into a sticker!"

“There’s one cool feature I’ve been meaning to try…”

“Oh?”

I watch eagerly as he opens up the settings…clicks on a tiny purple moon icon…and turns on “Do Not Disturb” mode.

~The End

[chuuyaandreaderkilldazai]

Ranking JJK Characters I Don't Like

Ranging from mild dislike (14) to LOATHE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING (1).

14. Mai: I don't hate her. I sympathize with her. I just wish she wasn't the way she is.

13. Junpei: I do have compassion for him, but ... school shooter vibes. Not a fan.

12. Noritoshi: Bad vibes.

11. Toji: Bad dad. And he's so nosy, too. Why does he always insert himself into situations with his fists swinging? Actually, now that I think about it, that's kind of iconic behavior. But all it ever really did was create more problems. If he had never inserted himself into the plot, Geto would have probably never turned mass-murderer-cult-leader--WE COULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING. So it's a pass for me. Also, his haircut is off-putting for reasons I cannot articulate. It's like one day in middle school he got a haircut and just never changed up the style ever again.

10. Jogo: Ugly.

9. Uraume: Character design: slay. Helping Sukuna: not slay.

8. Like every adult from the Zenin clan: BECAUSE THEY SUCK.

7. Tengen: Old and entitled.

6. Kenjaku: Old and entitled part two. What gives him the right?

5. Sukuna: Horrid, nasty man. I feel like I shouldn't have to elaborate.

4. Ui Ui: Annoying. Literally, why are you even here?

3. Mei Mei: First of all, how am I supposed to take you seriously with that stupid braid hanging in front of your face? From the very instant her character was introduced, I did not like her, but I thought maybe I was being a woman hater for no reason, so I really did try to tolerate her. But when we finally saw that scene in season two. PRISON!!! I was right. She's the worst. We are not gonna ignore that. Check her files.

2. That thing with the blond side ponytail: I hate him so much I don't even know his name. I don't care to know it. I would say why do you as a man look like that, but honestly why do you as a HUMAN BEING look like that? Why do you act like that? Why are you skipping around wearing a poorly made DIY toga? Whole nip is hanging out, and no one asked to see that. Why are you HOLDING HANDS with your blade? Freak. There is something so intrinsically, inherently, ONTOLOGICALLY wrong with him, you can't even blame it on childhood trauma or a personality disorder. The only time I ever supported Sukuna was when he bullied this emaciated Jo Jo Siwa lookin' thing in Shibuya.

Mahito: I hate him so much. I hate him more than I've ever hated any character. I actually lose the ability to speak coherently when I think about him because I hate him so much. I think it's so cringe when try-hard dudes say, "When I'm angry all I see is red." But when I think about Mahito it really is like blood and pure rage cloud my vision. He is literally the embodiment of if you gave an edge lord psychopathic eleven year old the power to kill people. "Wee, I'm so powerful and killing people is just SoooOoOoOoOOOo much fun!!" SHUT UP!!!!!!!! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT CUTE. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. He is genuinely the most irritating character I have ever come across. And as the story progresses, he just gets worse. What do you mean he can duplicate himself? Now we have to deal with TWO of this wretched creature? What do you mean he can be decapitated AND HIS HEAD WILL SPROUT LIMBS AND SPRINT AWAY? STOOOOOOOOOP. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED TO NANAMI--I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. Mahito is such a nasty, slithy, bothersome, despicable, nauseating little cockroach. "Yuji, you and I are the same." Huh? You thought you did something there, didn't you? You thought you ate and came up with some kind of deep, revolutionary concept? It's giving pretentious philosophy dude who thinks he's superior for being a little contrarian, nihilistic Nietzsche butt licker. When Yuji finally humbled him, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the fear in his eyes. For one brief, fleeting moment, I could finally understand what sadists must feel like. Honestly, we deserved to watch him suffer, and I wish he would have suffered far more for far longer. Rot in anguish, Mahito. You will not be missed nor forgiven.

[justanotherthrowaway1950]

(tw abuse)

Something I've been thinking about:

Sometimes I feel that there's not much we know about Azula. The only two episodes she's given depth beyond being a villain are Sozin's comet and the Beach. Even the time where she and Zuko were in the fire palace didn't show much.

I wonder if this contributes to multiple perspectives people have on Azula. Mainly anything along the lines of 'she shouldn't be redeemed, bc that was the point' and 'she wasn't abused'

The show implies many things about her. And there are many fabulous metas about her.

(I feel most of the ways Ozai abused Azula are implied. And this is another meta, but I find that a lot of people don't recognize that a character is abuse unless it's explicit and a point is made of it, especially if a character is shown to have some form of privilege.)

But what we are shown explicitly is a villainess who kept following her dad's orders until people turned on her because of it. Not much about why she is the way she is, beyond 'she was her dad's favorite' and does everything to please him.

Agreed. I've always felt that they should have removed or condensed some of the pre-DoBS episodes in S3 so they could have, among other things, given us an episode showing the events of ATLA leading up to Sozin's Comet from Azula's POV so her fall to madness wouldn't be so sudden, we could see how Ozai abused if her, if he ever did, and we would have had a definitive answer to the nurture versus nature debate that was only recently answered by her solo comic.

(If you want to see me go into details with my perceived issues with ATLA S3, please see this.)

But even accepting the "fact" that Season 3 had too much going to dedicate time to fleshing a character who was ultimately a secondary villain and foil to Zuko and Katara, it's really odd that they waited 15 years to finally fill in the gaps in the Azula's character and answer long-held questions by fandom, even if a non-insignificant portion of them view the answers as belated, fan-driven retcons. And even then, Azula's solo comic really doesn't really go into detail, either through flashbacks or dialogue, about Ozai's abuse of her, which leads to the problem you identified of people failing to recognize a privileged character as an abuse victim unless it is explicitly shown and directly pointed out by the text.

For example, in my opinion, based on my personal observation, a lot of fans view Azua's solo comic all but saying she is a product of nature who felt she had no choice but to become his monster after Ursa left the Palace as a retcon caused by the creators becoming aware that Azula had a substantial fanbase that saw her as a child failed by her country and father, instead of a irredeemable, psychopathic monster who deserved her fate.

Especially since the comic fails to show Azula becoming progressively more evil after Ursa left due to the pressure she felt from Ozai, making it seem like Azula was trying to justify being a bad person since she was young to avoid taking responsibility for her current lot in life.

Or in other words, a Draco in Leather Pants situation that managed to actually affect canon.

I know the comics' main goal was to depict the transition between Aang and Korra' eras, and then fill in the time period between Sozin's Comet and when Aang's movie is supposed to occur after Avatar Studios became a thing. But I wish the comics from the start focused on, among other things, fleshing out characters who weren't a main character in the show like Mai, Ty Lee, and Suki, among others.

In my opinion, it's a shame that we know so little about the characters and world in Aang's era despite the comics being a thing for most of time after the show stopped airing.

(Yes, I know the roleplaying game is filling out the lore. But most people haven't read it, so the above statement applies to most ATLA fans.)

[xx--ofmanythoughts--xx]

Rant and spoilers of Season 2, Episode 1

Before anyone calls me an ELITIST C*nt as I was called last night for reading Fire and Blood then using it as canon…these are MY opinions and rant.  Do not like it, unfollow me; I do not care but I am going to say this.  The episode was slow and boring…for an episode so hyped; it was horrible!  The writing was weak.  Too many changes and such. 

Now do not tell me because the book was written by sources that are not to be trusted, it is STILL canon not what Ryan and Sara wish to do with a story because many of us know that Daemon Targaryen was not a warmonger, but they turned him into one. 

The cons of the episode:

 To start off, to remove the scene where Aemond returns and gets berated by his mother and grandsire as well as Aegon celebrating; was so wrong because it sets up so much.   He NEVER felt remorse for it as he MEANT to kill Luke so to remove that scene was a bad idea. 

Don’t even get me started on the sex scenes with Alicent and Ser Crispy because it was NOT needed…all it showed to me was that Ser Crispy is a fucking hypocrite and still butt hurt the future queen (the true queen) did not wish to give up her station for him but now he is sleeping with a queen because he is on her side and has the same hatred.  And yes, in the book Alicent and Rhaenyra HATED each other. 

The Blood and Cheese scene!  And I know I will get hate on this, but I do not care!  Daemon ordered them to assassinate Aemond, but they were too afraid of Aemond or could not find him.  In the book, Helaena was with Alicent in her chambers bringing her 3 children to her for the evening as she always did. Alicent was bound and gagged, and a guard had been killed as well as a maid servant. Helaena pleaded for her life, but it was to no avail.  She chooses Maelor but they did kill Jaehaera and when they killed him; she screamed and was sobbing.  She did NOT just leave the room carrying her other child into Alicent’s bedchamber where she is getting her rocks off with Ser Crispy!  And without any emotions.  Now for the show version of Helaena, they have made her this robot dreamer without emotions and neurotic but in the book; she was not that way.  She was NOT a dreamer or a seer.  She was a woman who married you, had children young and suffered some thing so horrific that made her insane. 

But the writers of the show made this scene so weak and pathetic.  The Red Wedding gave us more than this and this was more horrific than that!  This part of the episode was badly written and then for her to go to find her mother while her mother is off getting off shows me the writers have no clue. 

Aemond looked weak to me.  His insanity and fall into the psychopathic c*nt that he is should have already begun but they have not done this and it drives me insane.  Aemond doesn’t know love, but he does know loyalty, but he is loyal to his House but for him to be King because he believes he should be King, but they made him a little bitch.  I hope that gets better.

The pros of the episode:

Rhaenyra looking for Luke’s remains and all the scenes that went along with that.  It was powerful and so sad. The fact she carried all of that with ONLY one line to say was brilliant.  And when Jace came home, it broke my heart because I know what it is like to lose a brother so my heart broke. 

DAEMON!  Matt Smith is amazing as Daemon and nothing in the scenes with him surprised me with his responses or attitude.  Daemon is out to protect his family and that is what he was doing.  Do I agree with Blood and Cheese?  If they had tried to assassinate Aemond, YES!  But since those two killed a child; it did weaken Rhaenyra because she did lose the smallfolk for a bit, but Daemon did not want the war but a well-placed assassination and talks (but HBO and Sara want us to hate Daemon)

Aegon Targaryen!  Tom did an amazing job of playing Aegon as the childish king that he was.  Aegon was a cruel King once his anger and rage took over but to him the Seven Kingdoms was his playground and he toyed with them.  He had no training because he did NOT want to be king and mom as well as grandsire forced that for their own power grab.  Viserys had an heir.  Viserys is to blame partially for this war, but it was Otto and Alicent who began it.  But the laughter and the play Tom did with Aegon was right on que and perfect! 

The piece with Alicent in the bathtub making her like Lady MacBeth as she is scrubbing away the “blood”.  Perfect scene for what many of us who have read the book know what happens to her.

I did enjoy Rhaenys telling off Daemon, but she was that way anyway.  She is a strong female and I love how they have kept that but as many of us know she is also very tired so if you know the book about her; you will understand what happens and her decision. 

All in all…  I was not happy with the episode.  It was weak and badly written.   It did not impress me as the episode that everyone made it out to be.  I was disappointed and I hope the rest of the season gets better or this is going to be a long 7 weeks until we see season 3 in two years as they begin filming that season at the end of this year.

[variousqueerthings]

DOCTOR... WHO???? (siiiigh)

ok. ok. so. ok. alright let's do this. i have a sneaking suspicion this will rate higher than some other M*ffat episodes, but don't let that fool you about me thinking it's good"

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 8/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 3/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 1/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 3/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 1/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 3/10

FULL RATING: 37/100 (if I can count….)

OMFG NO IT'S THE LOWEST RATED BOY OH BOY OH BOY AND IT DIDN'T EVEN DO BAD ON OBJECTIFICATION RATING AND YET!!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy wears a suit in this one. River Song is also wearing a suit in this one. because this secret society thing? (I am unclear what they're doing in it in this world, but I mean... the world-building is rated one out of ten so we'll get to that) people wear suits

there is this weird fucking interaction between sci-fi Churchill and the Doctor:

Churchill: What’s she like? Attractive I suppose The Doctor: Hell.... in high heels Churchill (leering): Tell me more

PLOT-POINT: ok so like. this episode is called "the wedding of River Song." it's about... not River Song. it's technically about how River Song (REMEMBER HOW RIVER SONG IS SECRETLY AMY'S AND RORY'S KID AND SHE WAS STOLEN AFTER AMY WAS FORCED TO GIVE BIRTH TO HER IN ORDER TO BREED THE "PERFECT PSYCHOPATH FOR THE DOCTOR" SO SHE WOULD KILL THE DOCTOR FOR A REASON WE STILL DON'T KNOW BUT LET'S FUCKINDFG DKLJSLÖKGFHSK BUT THEN OFC SHE BREAKS HER PROGRAMMING BECAUSE SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE'S INFORMED SHE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND SO SHE DECIDES NOT TO KILL THE DOCTOR BUT THEN THEY FORCE HER INTO AN ASTRONAUT SUIT THAT WAS BUILT IN 1969 BECAUSE THIS SECRET SOCIETY SENT HUMANITY TO THE MOON SO THEY COULD DESIGN THIS SUIT FOR RIVER SONG TO KILL THE DOCTOR THE MOON LANDING WAS ABOUT THE DOCTOR SDFJJJLKJÖARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OKAY AND SO EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NO LONGER INTERESTED IN KILLING THE DOCTOR THEY CAN JUST KIDNAP HER AND FORCE HER ITO THE SUIT TO KILL THE DOCTOR BUT ALSO NOW SHE'S NOT BECAUSE LURVE MAKES HER BREAK TIME TRUST ME BRO JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT I- *tears M*ffat apart With My Fucking Teeth*)

okay so it's about how River Song broke time in order to not kill the Doctor, which is supposedly a fixed point in Time, even though it definitely is not in show canon up until this season decided it was, and then the whole episode is the Doctor building up to telling River "actually I've found a way to not die," and she's like "oh good" and then he doesn't die

that is the plot. why is this a season's worth of plot and then 48mins? I will get to the FUCKING MONTAGES in a bit

so River's Thing is like. she's in love with the Doctor. in fact according to this episode "I cant let you die without letting you know that you are loved, by so many and so much, but by no one more than me"

which, if you're into River/Doctor is fine, personally I think Matt Smith looks like a child and Alex Kingston for all her acting (and hindered by so much bad "sexy" dialogue) cannot convince me she's into this baby-looking person. maybe if they'd done this during Capaldi, but that would require doing more things with River Song and M*ffat isn't really interested in her beyond the fact that a. she's in love with the Doctor and uh... 2. she was raised by a secret society. or she lived with her mother while she was growing up? (how did that work, when she was a child, weren't there people wondering who this kid's parents were????) and 3. she's sexy and she knows it

it does not fucking matter how she feels about the brainwashing of it all. it Does Not

I give this SOME points, because finally Amy got to have an emotion about her baby being taken away from her, I had fully forgotten that: "You took my baby from me and you hurt her and now she’s grown up and she’s fine (is she, we'll never know), but I’ll never see my baby again," and then she straight up, deliberately murders the villain who's helplessly tied to a chair

wonder if her feeling about murder will affect the plot in the future (they do mention it at the end of this episode), and she hints that "River didn't get it all from you" so like. Amy care to explain the execution you just committed?

she also mowed down a bunch of The Silence, but they're creepy monster people and not real people, so that's fine

uhhh what else for Amy? idk, she's there, she still loves Rory

COMPLEXITY: Stupid! Fucking! Plot! wait I already did this in the above point, okay so after River Breaks Time to not kill the Doctor at this supposed fixed point (lol, no it still fucking isn't M*ffat, there's loose continuity, and there's not caring at all about making your shit make sense, because LOLLL it's scifi after all and you can do what you want I fucking guess), Time just... stops

and all of Time happens at the same Time, except some people are noticing (are people ageing? or experiencing the same day again and again? or.. hte same second again and again? why is Churchill really the guy we want representing this idea??? why are there cars being carried around by big balloons????? why is it all earth? no time to explore any of this world- wait that's below point IT ALL BLEEDS INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE IT'S SO STUPID)

WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLORE ANY OF THIS BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET TO THE REALLY INTERESTING PART OF THE EPISODE!

montages

the Doctor is explaining what happened up to a certain point and does so through the artistic format of montage. that means that Every! FUcking! Episode! M*ffat wrote for this season has a montage at the beginning!!!!!!

and then at the end of the montage, they're like oh no there's The Silence around us, for some reason, and then the Doctor gets kidnapped by... Amy, who's in the secret society now?

but now they're good guys, dedicated to figuring out why Time has stopped (except it... I mean it clearly hasn't, things are moving and changing and why is this done in the Stupidest way possible)

and they captured some Silence. but actually they were never captured just waiting, and now they're free and they go up to the top of a pyramid, the Doctor gets married to River, time restarts, River shoots the Doctor, but the Doctor had a Plan all along, using the little guys in robot-people we met in Let's Kill Hitler to get that body shot instead

the end

except for setting up THE NEXT STAGE OF THE MYSTERY because aaaalll of this happenned from WAY back in s5, because of a Question that mustn't be asked... and that question is Doctor Who

this episode is doing like. 2 things. "I know I'm going to die, and I stopped it easily (not so fixed a point after all I Guess, M*ffat)," and River and Doctor got married

oh and Amy KILLED PEOPLE but this will not be important, that was just to make her More Badass

and for all that it is presented like it's so fucking complicated

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: um so plot as above is nothing, as said, it's just another bit of silly mystery on top of an already unwieldy house of cards standing in a drafty room

characters. not much actually, I mean, yes the Doctor and River got married now, but it's like. anti-dynamic. it's just there now the characters are meant to get married for the set-piece

lore um... checks notes. fucking. "Doctor Who." Trenzalore is a place something is going to happen. yeah so, fuck off nothing

COMPANIONS MATTER: lol see above. nope they're still basically "The last Centurion and the Girl Who Waited"

which, defining Rory as the Last Centurion outside of the particular episode in which another version of him was the centurion never made sense to me, sure that's something he did in a part of the story, but it's not really what his character... is. it's just that M*ffat loooves a moniker and it sounds impressive, and also in the last episode, the Doctor said "it's time to stop waiting" there's just nothing! new here! they're never going to be anyone else, or like... just their flipping names

Rory in this version of events/this other different universe is a soldier, and Amy doesn't remember him (I'm assuming Amy remembers the Doctor because they have a bond from back in s5 where her remembering him brought him back from non-existence, I can accept this as an already-established thing), but she does remember someone who she draws completely differently to Rory (hearkening back to Rory not being as manly as Amy's ideal fantasy and I thought we were past that but whatever)

anyway, the Doctor goes up to soldier-Rory and says this: Loyal soldier waiting to be noticed, always the pattern

IS Rory a soldier ever outside of two episodes in s6, both written by M*ffat????? M*ffat has a different, less caring, more "masculine" version of Rory that he writes that is so different from Rory in near every other episode... I don't like this Rory much, because he has no personality outside of "shoot gun/be badass and run after Amy"

I do appreciate that he is about to die and Amy returns to save him (although I have questions about how easy it is to kill "the bad guys" in M*ffat's era)

I will take this from the same exchange as above:

The Doctor (trying to get Rory to go for Amy): she said you were a mr hotti…ness and she would like to go out with you for… texting and scones..."

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this episode is all about how the Doctor is so special that everything bends towards this Moment In Time, but wait, That Moment is actually all about an even more important Moment that is still to come, also about the Doctor

and the tension of the episode is simply everyone waiting to see what clever thing the Doctor has already done in order to stave off the events this whole season has ostensibly been building up to

River Song at the Doctor: You’ve decided that the universe is better off without you, but the universe doesn’t agree

I mean yes, I enjoy the narratives favourite chewtoy type characters as much as anyone, but the thing is this Doctor isn't that, because the Doctor already has the solution. it's just. doing the exact thing that the episode The God Complex was deconstructing! S I L L Y ! ! !

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: there's a moment here that's kind of quick succession, and goes like this -- the Doctor is avoiding the moment of his death (that is easily avoided), and has a throwaway bit in which he say that Liz the First is forever waiting in a grove to elope with him (gross, stop gross stop with the ongoing Elizabeth the First banged the Doctor jokes stop! It!) or he could just "go and help Rose Tyler with her homework"

I can read this either as M*ffat's penchant of writing whatever he wants in terms of how the timelines of this series go (which is how he does it with Eleven constantly jumping forwards and backwards, up until the point it suddenly can't be done, because M*ffat only has rules when they serve a particular plot point), but I also can pretend/enjoy it from the perspective of "actually I could never go back and help Rose Tyler with her homework, because it's not possible to change how things went down or mess with her timeline, and that's the point, I'm pretending I can do what I want, but I know I can't"

ofc the episode then undermines this point, but still... it's a sweet point

also Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart dies. I didn't remember this in the episode, but I assume it just didn't land with me back in the day because.... who is the Brigadier if you haven't seen classic!who? it's something for the classic!who fans I suppose, but it's literally the moment that makes the Doctor stop running and it's completely unestablished why the Doctor cares about this character or even really who this character is

I'm being pedantic now perhaps, but I think if you're going to bring up classic!who (which I do enjoy) it needs to either be an actual Easter Egg/not affect the plot, oooorrrr it needs to be re-established in this text why this matters, and this does neither

I was sad watching it this time, because I've met the Brigadier now, but it's easy and lazy nostalgia bait

“SEXINESS”: so like. this isn't the worst episode for this, but the worst episode for this is so bad!

aforementioned gross mention of "Liz the first," River Song and the Doctor do boring, annoying flirting in which she mentions his past with Cleopatra (strike two, but at least??? Marilyn Monroe isn't also mentioned)

INTERNAL WORLD: none. nothing. montages of places that will never matter and a pocket universe world in which it seems like they thought two seconds about the functionality of it, I went on a rant above, I'm resisting ranting again, this whole thing is Stupid

POLITICS: there's not really politics. I mean, it's not a very big episode, it's just pretending to be, but in the end it's a couple of specific plotpoints inside a carnival that's on fire

but let's see, there's obviously the complete lack of interest in exploring female characters (including in episodes in which their names appear in the title)

oh and they mention psychopath River again

River: Take a child, raise her into the perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor… who else was I going to fall in love with? fuck offffffffffff fuck off with all of this forever

also the plot culminates in a marriage -- now I was more annoyed when I thought the marriage literally solved the problem, when really it's more a sort of... segue into solving it, but the idea that this is a more important relationship than any the Doctor ever had or is ever going to have is what this plot works so hard to make the central conceit, and the way to prove this is by getting married, which segues into Fixing The Universe

and to be fair, it walked itself into this corner (on purpose) from the moment River Song was introduced, but the way it pretended at mystery as if the answer wasn't always "yeah they got married I guess, in an episode so boring, trying to be so big, that presents the Idea of marriage as the event that is more important than any other in the Universe (not like... individually, in the Universe) that for the Doctor in the same season as we had The Doctor's Wife is framed as more important than any other relationship because it is now defined by Getting Married...."

it's kind of a central problem with River Song and the Doctor, in the end it's... terribly normative. it tries not to be, but its structures struggle to break out of it, even when we get told that River has other partners (never seen, never important, often more of a throwaway innuendo to show how sexy she is), even with the tragedy of them moving backwards (sort of) in their respective timelines, it's still performing alloromantic heteronormative relationship hierarchy (big words meaning They're Straight TM writing)

the possible upside (we shall see) is that maybe now the stupid flipping marriage build-up is done River can be doing other fucking stuff, like being a character

FULL RATING: 37/100 (if I can count….)

okay so, the good. low on literally objectifying female characters on the whole, and isn't the worst on previous doctor who (except for of course saying a big fuck you to every past Companion and important relationship the Doctor has ever had)

and the bad is. that it is bad. bad across the board. it's a bad episode, made worse by everything that was bad before being doubled down on, so that in hindsight all the other bad stuff is also worse, like a horror ride funhouse mirror of non-linear watching reflecting backwards and forwards in time (kind of like M*ffat wishes the River Song and the Doctor's story managed to do, but in bad)

and that is s6. what a wild ride. epic highs and lows indeed!

[zonedelicious]

Defending Ben 10 Alien Force Season 3 With My Life!

(An analysis of Ben's character and why I find it consistent up to this point)

This essay thingy is part one of a bigger project where I rewatch all of Ben 10 and look back on the series. A sort of retrospective.

Originally I wanted to watch all the shows, and then write one big post. But I decided to do it in parts to make it easier. And since the final season of alien force is largely hated, I thought I should focus on it specifically (since I have very different opinions than everyone on this).

Now when starting I did expect to see Ben's character be inconsistent, going from classic, to alien force, to season 3 of alien force. That is the popular opinion online and the one I had as a kid. Ben goes from childish kid, to mature teen, to an even more childish kid.

So I'm sure a lot of people are going to be shocked when I say that not only do I completely disagree with this perspective, I found Ben's character strangely consistent through both shows and I think he only becomes more nuanced and interesting by the end.

First I think most people who say Ben is either childish, or mature, or a psychopath, don't really know what these words mean, or don't even understand how Ben's character traits work.

(the psycho thing we'll get to in the next post since we haven't gotten to ultimate alien yet)

Does being mature mean you can't be petty or selfish sometimes? Does having negative traits automatically make you a child? This is the kind of flaw in ben 10 discussion I have noticed with this rewatch, we associate bad traits with regression and good traits with development. But that is very shallow way to look at fiction. Characters can have more than one trait, they can even have conflicting traits. And character development can also include negative development.

I think Ben's maturity is something that's greatly overstated, because his personality in Alien Force is a trait he has shown in the classic series many times. And by boiling him down to childish and mature Ben, it takes away a lot of the nuance he has as a character.

So enough about that, let's go back to the beginning.

Ben 10 (the original show)

The start of the series shows us that Ben is a kid who just wants to sit back and enjoy life, but hates bullies and wants to help others. And also he really loves his grandpa (this is a clue that will help us later).

Throughout the first season Ben struggles with being a hero. He struggles to differentiate helping people selflessly, and helping people because he gets a kick out of it. For a 10 year old his behavior is very realistic. Of course he wants to be seen as a big shot and be validated for his actions.

It isn't until Max is hospitalized that Ben finally realises the dangers of the world he's in. That's when we see Ben drop the hero act and turn into a scared kid. We see him at his most vulnerable. The first look at the real Ben.

Ben and Max fight a lot in the original show, but despite that Max is probably the most important person in Ben's life. Even more than his parents. And I think it's largely because Ben wishes he can be more free like his grandpa. Living in an rv and going wherever you want. So losing Max for 10 year old Ben is the worst thing that can happen to him. He not only looks up to grandpa Max, he idolises him and wants to follow in his footsteps. Which becomes more obvious once Ben finds out about the Plumbers. And now season 2 is about Ben becoming an even bigger hero.

The first season definitely has the most consistent narrative of the classic series. I think Ben doesn't really learn much until the movie. He does learn to be closer with his family, but there's no real challenge for him like the first season. People will say this is the show recycling his character arc, which I sort of get, but it's not the same to me. Ben isn't being challenged on the same level, he's just going through episodic cartoon plots. A lot of it isn't serious so Ben isn't really being serious. To him he's the cool alien with a badass grandfather and can solve any problem. It's all a fun adventure to him.

Even when he meets his future self the message is that Ben being a kid and having fun is what makes him Ben. It's future Ben who has to learn to have fun and be a kid again. A clever twist on the time travel trope.

Despite that Ben is shown to be more responsible with the hero stuff. He tries to help others not just by literally saving their lives, but also talking to them, or standing up to villains. Kevin being the best example. Ben tries to befriend him many times, but will also risk his own life to stop Kevin from hurting Gwen. Which at the moment Ben didn't even have the Omnitrix at the end of season 2. We see that despite being a kid he's also gotten braver.

Another note, Gwen and Ben have a pretty good relationship from the start. While they do fight it's never anything serious, they're just being kids and fooling around. The kind of childish arguments you forget in an hour. Yet they're very close and love goofing around together. You can tell that they care for each other despite the petty banter.

Of course once we get to the secret of the Omnitrix (the true ending of the first show imo) Ben's character is finally given its conclusion for the classic series. Here Max's role is swapped with Tetrax, Ben looks up to Tetrax in a similar way, and while Tetrax is friendly, he's also the guy who really knows how to get Ben to reflect on his actions. Once Ben thinks he has lost Gwen he is back to the scared vulnerable kid. We see all his aggression, how he blames himself, how all that weight is really hard for him to process at such a young age.

What's even better about this is how the movie starts with Ben causing trouble for Gwen and they get in a fight. But Gwen still sneaks into Tetrax's ship to help Ben. So losing Gwen is not only him losing his cousin. Ben's losing someone he felt responsible for. He's failing Gwen, himself, and grandpa Max all at the same time.

Of course Gwen is alive but it doesn't change that Ben has finally opened up about his insecurities and we finally get a full look into his inner self. Which brings us to...

Alien Force, the show that made Ben mature (or did it?)

Now remember everything I said about his character? Now think about the plot of alien force. Ben realises his grandfather is missing, there's an alien conspiracy that his grandfather entrusted him to solve, and even an old foe is there he needs to ally with.

Ben is essentially forced to take up the role of grandpa Max in the story. And for a 15 year old that's a lot of pressure to take.

I'd say Ben's character shift for Alien Force is not only organic, it's the natural follow up to his character arc in the classic show. As someone who's always seeking validation now finally being put in a position where he has to be the person he always looked up to. Sure the stakes were high in classic, but Max (and Tetrax) was always there to help and give Ben motivation.

There's an aura of tension early on as Ben still doesn't even trust Kevin. He doesn't understand the new Omnitrix or the new aliens. He has to watch max die and still keep his cool. Because he was trusted this role and can't let Max down.

I don't think Ben matured, he was forced into a role of being the mature adult at 15.

Even Ben's parents are mad at him for doing all this. As they should because Ben is still a kid. He shouldn't be risking his life. He should literally be at the club. The first thing he does before he puts on the Omnitrix again is talk to Gwen. Because he needs her help. And Kevin. Later from other plumber kids too. He isn't doing it all by himself, and he understands that he can't do it alone to an extent. But despite that there's still that urge to be the leader. The one who has to be in charge all the time. He wants to prove himself after all.

Ben's ability to befriend others, is ultimately his strongest trait in the first 2 seasons. It's what ends up saving the universe after all. Something that wasn't all that present in the original show, but can be seen through characters like Kevin, who Ben tried to help many times. And now he's his best ally.

A lot of this is very subtle, and some of it might even be my own interpretation of the story. I don't know if the writers intended all this nuance I'm describing. It is only interesting to look back and analyse it.

The mystery and the slow lumin threat of the highbreed is a good plot for Ben's arc of taking up responsibility. It's something he can't directly solve as easily as in the classic show. Where in the classic show any problem he faced was over in 1 or 2 episodes. All mystery was behind the scenes with him not being aware.

But now it's different. The mystery comes crashing into him. He literally got a football medal the same day he found out his grandfather has went missing because of a secret alien invasion that's been going on for a long time. Again the pressure he's put under comes at him suddenly and he has to adjust to it all in the moment. He's 15 years old.

And despite all odds Ben comes through and stops the invasion, saving the entire galaxy. With the help of all the people he befriended of course. Ben finally proved himself to his grandfather and to the entire universe that he is worthy of being a hero. In the classic series he showed he was a hero, but was still a kid who had learning to do. But now he proved he can stand on his own as a man at age 15.

So naturally Ben took a break.

The part where I shamelessly defend season 3 with my life

The shift for season 3 is off (especially when the first episode starts with an argument we have no context for) and I understand some of this was a mandate, yet I love it. It's a strange shift at first until you start to think what is actually going on in Ben's head.

He finally did what he always wanted to achieve. Become a great hero like his grandfather. The galaxy loves him. And all that validation is more than enough to tell him to relax for now.

Ben had to take a break after all the pressure that was placed on him. He needed a break. He needed to be a teenager again who watches cartoons and has fun. It's important for his mental health after all.

Of course this is a cartoon and he isn't real. But this analysis isn't about that, it's about trying to understand what kind of person Ben is.

Still i do not see how Ben is stupid or childish in these episodes. Relaxed and silly yeah, but in a teenager way, not a 10 year old Ben way. With the gold poop episode for instance I went in expecting to hate it, but now I love it. It's a decent mystery, and Ben's chill attitude makes sense for the situation. It's a celebration and Ben loves to party. Of course he'd be silly with the little aliens.

What I have noticed however is despite Ben being relaxed he's still pretty clever and mature throughout season 3. His quick thinking is actually a major part of this season. With it being directly referenced and even being how he saves the day at the end of the season. I did not expect the show to directly point out Ben's most useful trait and then focus on it durring what's basically his downfall arc.

To reference a few times Ben does this in this season:

In the vreedle episode, Julie emergency calls Ben and Ben shows up seconds later. He didn't wait to think, he arrived as fast as possible once finding out she's in danger.

In the episode where Ben is trapped in the null void without the Omnitrix, we see him actually surviving and doing smart things like covering himself in mud so he won't get spotted.

In the plumber kids episode, Ben is playing the role of the villain mastermind and he has to quickly adapt to the situation and train these kids while not breaking character.

In Charmcaster's debut episode, Ben calls out Kevin for not trusting Gwen. Ben being the mature one in this situation.

We see Ben hasn't changed at all from previous seasons. Season 3 having some of his best moments even. What has changed is the context and circumstances of his actions. He's trying to stay cool and simple because he wants to live his childhood stress free, even if the universe keeps calling him back over and over again, he wants to stay a kid. And that's interesting. We haven't seen that in ben yet. In the classic show he was trying to be a big hero. But now he's tired of all that weight on his shoulders.

Unfortunately the universe keeps calling for his return. The moment Ben tries to relax Vilgax is back. He has taken over 10 planets. And has killed the galactic enforcers trio (they are 100% dead he literally killed 3 side characters just like that). And Ben of course does the reasonable thing and tries to hack the Omnitrix yet again. With horrible results.

People try to use this as an example of Ben being dumb but you gotta realise he's panicking and not thinking straight, and the result is him causing a mess for himself and Kevin. The show is aware Ben is in the wrong here and his actions have consequences. The rest of the season will spend its time exploring Ben's actions and how his quick thinking is both his strongest weapon, as well as his biggest flaw.

Anyway the fight with Vilgax is brilliant and really shows how much Ben had grown. With the return of Diamondhead being both nostalgic and a great way to show his growth. As well as giving Ben another victory that increases his huge ego.

But I must also mention the visuals being beautiful themselves. Season 3 of Alien Force has a subtle upgrade in visuals that I never see mentioned. Everything is more colorful, backgrounds more interesting, the animation more smooth, and the storyboarding is simply wonderful. Don't know why people never talk about this. I guess it will ruin the narrative this is the worst season ever made because of like 4 boring episodes. But I digress.

Still apparently people hate this fight too and claim this scene RUINED Vilgax. How? The only argument I see is he got defeated too easily which.. Have you watched the classic show? Vilgax gets defeated in one single episode by a 10 year old. Vilgax is actually stronger in Alien Force if anything. I don't get how this ruined him at all.

Don't get me wrong. I also prefer his original design and personality. I think this was a poor choice to change him so drastically when the point was bringing back an old foe. But that doesn't mean he's weak. He's clearly stronger. He does a good job fighting Ben. And has even killed 3 characters that you'd expect wouldn't die considering they showed up in a ben 10k episode.

(remember when I said I will be fighting for my life here? I wasn't kidding)

The rest of Season 3 is very episodic ,which is an interesting shift from the previous 2 seasons since they didn't have to make it like this. They had more episodes this time too and cartoon network wasn't against plot or lore. So I'd say this was more of a creative choice than a mandate. Ben's more relaxed so we go back to less world ending threats. Which is good imo because the best standalone episodes are in this season.

Notably Gwen and Kevin get a good focus here (even Julie who should have been the 4th member). With Gwen's best episode so far is in this season. We get more character development for the other 3 protags. And it's very much needed.

Gwen I think didn't get much in the first 2 seasons. She did feel a bit of a downgrade from her classic self. Now however her rivalry with Charmcaster is back, she has her magic, and she has one of the best episodes in the season. The time travel episode is beautiful both visually and naratively, not to mention it's basically writen like a Doctor Who episode, and you gotta love that. But what I love more is how we see Gwen making a huge mistake. Gwen so far hasn't been writen with flaws, unlike Ben and Kevin she isn't given as much depth. So to have an episode that gives Gwen time to make a mistake and fix it, while showing all the effort she'd go through to help Kevin. It was very much needed. Her character deserves more moments like this.

Julie's relationship with Ben is given a bit of drama but in a way where they do communicate and aren't in anyway toxic. I hear this is when their relationship fell off but I don't see it. Their arguments are something Gwen and Kevin often have too and are only there to strengthen their bond. Julie definitely needs to be characterized outside being Ben's girlfriend though, but she's never in a position where she's just Ben's girlfriend. If anything her friendship with Gwen is given more spotlight. Her last appearance for the season being her hanging out with Gwen. Julie definitely deserved to be more than just a side character.

On the other end Kevin gets a huge upgrade with his story line being imo significantly better than what they originally had planned. Originally the story was going to have Kevin turn evil and I am grateful they saved that story line for a later season while this one builds up to it more organically. Here we see how desperate and insecure Kevin is. He even goes back to his more evil self at times. But never too much. His badness is due to his circumstances. He wants to turn back to human. He gets angry. He doesn't trust Gwen. He teams up with villains. But all because he's being pushed into being vulnerable rather than him turning evil suddenly. It's a good small arc that builds up to something bigger later.

As you can see I value character flaws as much as their positive traits. To me a character is less interesting if the story avoids giving them a human element. That's why the character assassination of Ben Tennyson that people talk about to me is one of the best things to ever happen to him.

One episode I HATED as a kid, but now love is the one where the gang go to an alien planet to solve a conflict between 2 identical armies. Kid me hated this because Ben kept messing up and there was no solution in the end. Now however I see the political genius that it is.

While I think this was meant to parody the political system of the US (one group being red and one blue doesn't make it all that subtle), i think the other message I got from it is showing the problems with white saviorism. Ben comes to a planet he has zero political understanding of, and decides he knows how to solve all their problems and can save the day in like 3 hours. Of course he won't and of course he'd end up making things worse.

If you're expecting things to actually be solved and characters to make logical and satisfying actions then this episode is definitely one of the bad ones. But for me, someone who likes to see how characters mess up and the story to collapse on them I really found this episode enjoyable. It's also just very funny. Ben comes off as very comedic to me in his attempt to be helpful and reasonable. He's not being immature but he's being very self centered and too up his own ass to notice that he's coming off as a dick.

I think that's what this season is focusing on. Not Ben becoming immature or childish as like a singular character trait he switches to. No, what the season is telling us is despite Ben being a great hero and a quick thinker, he's also easily able to fall into the arrogant asshole type if he doesn't control himself.

In the ghostfreak episode we even see how despite being his quick thinking self, he doesn't trust Gwen and Kevin as much as before. His ego is getting to him and others are taking notice.

Ben's behavior to me comes off as very realistic. I cannot hate a character who's flawed in a way that a real person is flawed. I don't see a switch in personality. I see one person displaying their traits in different ways depending on the scenario they are in.

So why people hate this season so much I will never understand.

Anyway let's talk about the worst episode in alien force.

Primus

Okay people you're right about this one. Primus sucks. It's bad. It's meaningless. It's confusing. And it's counterproductive for what it's trying to do. Honestly it feels like a rough draft of an episode before they actually start writing it.

Ignoring the fact that the concept itself is flawed, there's no time given to even show us Primus or make us understand it. And it ruins Vilgax's arc by giving him the Omnitrix WAY TOO EARLY. It kind of ruins the finale too since Ben giving the Omnitrix away is part of the climax of this season. Both Vilgax and Azmuth are pretty dumb this episode and it's weird watching them here. Vilgax is a bit better until he gets the Omnitrix and becomes dumb for no reason. Couldn't they just make it so Ben is the one with the key to activate the Omnitrix? Azmuth also what do you mean you turned into Rath to fight Vilgax instead of like way big? Ben isn't dumb in this one though. His trick to get back the Omnitrix is smart even though the way it was written is dumb. And we do get to see him vulnerable after losing the Omnitrix. Still this episode should have been replaced with something better and the show would have been better off for it.

This episode is brought up often because it is the weakest and if it was your impression of the season you'd think it's bad too. I don't even think Vilgax is bad this season but he definitely is poorly writen here.

So yeah this episode is very bad. Like couldn't they have replaced this with an extra Tetrax episode? That man deserves it.

Oh right Tetrax

Tetrax episode is peak fiction and I don't care about the haters. I'd argue it's one of the best episodes in the series and the fact we never got a follow up is baffling.

For starters Tetrax is Ben's real dad. Let's be real. He fills the same role as grandpa Max and so Ben has the urge to prove himself to him. That's why watching Ben fulfill the propercy of the diamondhead people and save Tetrax's planet is one of the most satisfying moments in the series for me. Tetrax destroyed his planet. He made a huge mistake that Ben could have easily made if he didn't have a mentor figure. And now once he sees he has an opportunity to bring everyone back he goes straight to shattering Ben into pieces with no explanation. (Tetrax pretty much is Ben without grandpa Max if you think about it)

This episode is a meme for the Jesus bits. but it works. It's good lore. And it's a great conclusion to a character arc and storyline.

The fact this episode is a follow up to Tetrax origin and incorporates a new alien into it is really smart. Obviously they didn't plan this at first so it's great when things work out like that.

It works as a Vilgax episode too because we see how big of a threat he is. Everyone's struggling to fight him, even Tetrax and Ben. He's not some pushover as people claim.

But more importantly Ben redeems Tetrax by saving the diamond people and that's something he wouldn't be able to do if he's some dumb kid. Ben is a true hero again in this episode. He sees what the threat is and he solves it with his quick thinking and courage. And I think it's thanks to Tetrax's presence that Ben is back to the more serious role, because he wants to prove himself to him.

(if only Tetrax had a bigger presence)

And now the ending

The ending is what made me want to take a different look at this season before rewatching because I remember how cool the Azmuth and Ben scene was. On a rewatch i was not disappointed.

For starters animation was really good and the fights with Albedo specifically were choreographed well. Kevin and Gwen were even using their powers in a unique way.

Then we have Vilgax weakening Ben by taking away Gwen and Kevin. Seems simple at first, but when you think of the narrative of this season you realise it's about making Ben vulnerable both physically and mentally.

And once Ben loses the Omnitrix he has a full mental breakdown and this entire sequence is one of the best moments in Ben 10 ever. The way he runs off into the forest. The small chat with Gwen. How he begs Azmuth for help. The little mutual understanding at the end of their argument. It's peak fiction at its most peak fictionest.

For the entire season Ben tried to relax, he tried to be more straight forward, not looking for others for help. But now he's back at being the vulnerable kid he was at the start of the entire series. And I think it's not just that he lost his powers that's hurting him, but that he's also taking out all the pressure he had building up inside. And now he's asking for others to help him.

This moment makes this season work for me. We see a deconstruction of sorts of the kind of person Ben is. Not mature or immature. But this kid who wanted validation until the pressure was too much for him. He tried to act cool like nothing happens. But then he messes up and he's the one who needed to be saved.

This emotional moment was what Ben needed to come up with a genius plan. Go to Vilgax's ship and activate the self destruct feature of the Omnitrix. Honestly I forgot about this part on my rewatch so it came out of nowhere for me. Ben making a bomb threat as his great 4d chest move? You just gotta love that. Remember he's got nothing on Vilgax right now. Vilgax can easily kill him. So for Ben to confidently come in and threaten to blow up the Omnitrix, that he cares about too, it takes courage.

If there's one thing I'd change about the ending it's bringing back Tetrax. He seemed like he would be a part of this and it would have probably mad the mental breakdown of Ben Tennyson more impactful if Tetrax was there too. Or maybe I love this minor character a bit too much. Maybe way too much I admit.

Conclusion

For me what sells season 3 of Alien Force is Ben's character downfall that builds up to this ending. It's not just that he becomes dumb and then is told to stop being dumb. It's that he's struggling in the role of hero. He's struggling to be both the serious badass and a goofy kid. And letting go of the responsibility and trying to act normal only created a different kind of pressure.

Ben for me is a character who was forced into a role he wasn't prepared for and we get to watch how that affects him. Naturally he will have shifts in how he acts. His environment will affect his behavior. That's just life. That's what being a teenager is like. You're always gonna be screwing up in one way or another. Ben's flaws in season 3 aren't about him being childish. He's not dumb or less mature. Ben still does smart things and is shown to care about Gwen, Kevin, Julie, Tetrax, and everyone that comes to his aid.

And of course his ideas and actions aren't always good. They can be stupid or selfish. And that's also fine. Because he's only human. And his humanity is what makes him Ben. Take that away and he'd grow up to become the Ben 10k who refused to transform back to human.

Most of this is my interpretation of events. Other people watching will have different takes. And that is fine. I'm fine with knowing I'm like one of 10 people who loves season 3 of alien force. I'm just here to write a different perspective and hopefully it will encourage more deeper readings of Ben 10 as a series. But mostly I'm fine knowing someone else read all this. So thanks for getting this far.

See you next time when I will be breaking down the neoliberalism of shadow the hedgehog the video game.

/jk

/or am I?

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble: (more) Headcanons

Look I have no excuses left. I’m trying to channel Guangyan’s academic success and only succeeding in channeling Yiyong’s. They practically owe me a season two at this point for making me the OnePer of my own life.

1.) Chuying has gotten…well. A tad bit “cautious” now, never mind her coworkers’ gentle comment about her being “totally fucking paranoid,” because they didn’t have to scrape Yiyong’s broken body and Guangyan’s broken heart off the floor of a museum, leaving their own broken confidence behind, now did they? Its not really a problem. Until it is. Until she clotheslines one of Guangyan’s little college friends who’s running towards him and looking shady about it (who looks happy at school on a Tuesday? Villains. Psychopaths. Pastry chefs. Bad people, that’s who). It’s possible her boss was right to force her to go to therapy. She will not be telling him that. She maintains overcaution is best (Yiyong had laughed when he’d heard about it and Guangyan had looked suspiciously gleeful at the sight of his supposed school friend’s cartwheel through the air), so it’s fine.

2.) Yiyong’s first case post coma two (ugh) is a dead violinist trying to locate his lost sonata that it turns out his fake friend stole and killed him over. After the case is settled, Guangyan waxes on about some dumb movie called Coco and forces Yiyong to watch it. It’s after one of Yiyong’s PT sessions, so they sit in Yiyong’s bed for it. There is approximately no room and Guangyan keeps hissing about how certain people treat their guests, but they eventually create a blanket fort, largely by accident, and settle in to watch. Yiyong’s mother joins them partway through, smelling like dye chemicals. Yiyong is not upset by the story. He isn’t. He’s upset by his mom’s worn out voice as she asks random questions about the film like Yiyong knows things, he’s upset about the stupid plotting because the stupid kid doesn’t feel like he can follow his stupid passion and is missing his stupid family, he’s upset by Guangyan’s very soft hands that keep wrapping around Yiyong’s arm (annoying, clingy, he makes no move to stop him) during sad moments. So that’s why if he cries a little, it’s because he’s upset about those things.

3.) Yiyong’s mom and Guangyan’s dad have a “what the shit are the kids up to” drinks session a few nights a week. She’s convinced him to try her favorite beer. Neither of them really have many friends, but they have some very strange young people in common and a lot of silences in their lives where there used to be more people. One of their favorite drinking games involves the number of times the kids will text complaining something predictable about each other, or whether Chuying will send a vague, panicked text about something they are definitely not supposed to be up to.

4.) Guangyan has a terrible, terrible day. Everything goes wrong. He oversleeps by fifteen minutes, he gets two questions wrong (wrong???) on an exam, he drags his feet in dejection on the way to lab work and gets scolded for being “almost late,” and one of his classmates tells him he “doesn’t look great today.” In a fit of frustration at his own imperfections, he sends Chuying and Yiyong a rare introspective text wondering if he’s just the absolute most worthless, useless person ever. Chuying sends back about fifty inspirational Pinterest posts about how you’re ❤️special as you are❤️, and follows these up by threatening to come over and beat up whoever made him think this (he declines carefully). Yiyong says nothing in the chat, which he expected. But. He comes home and finds that Someone has drawn a picture for him, crumpled it up and thrown it through his window (based on the dirt on the outside, the toss failed several times). The drawing is rendered in sunset colors, and it’s of the teacups ride at the amusement park. It’s beautifully drawn, with careful detail down to the design on the teacup. In the forefront, two figures are whirling around in a teacup. One looks a little grumpy, the other one is alight with joy and shaded in with soft pastel. The caption simply reads, “The Most Worthless, Useless Day Ever.”

5.) The trio go on expeditions together—not just for cases now, but because Chuying saw a cool festival, or Guangyan needs people to come with him to this horrible networking event (and later regrets this deeply), or Yiyong gets that distant look in his eyes and needs to start walking. He likes that his people, his two people (and his high school friends, if he so chooses) will go somewhere, anywhere with him for no reason. Even just to sit on a bench somewhere. He thinks a lot on these walks. About how Chuying needs to stop second-guessing herself these days, because something hurts in his chest to see the mighty OnePer flicker with doubt; about how Guangyan always gets the same look in his eyes when he’s overworked himself and is about to fall asleep on Yiyong’s shoulder (he’s not entirely ready to examine why he always waits around on late study nights with anticipation for those moments); about how much he wishes he could have introduced them both to his dad and grandfather. He thinks about how his family is here and not-here, all still with him one way or another, and how he’s probably going to start drawing that comic again soon (after all, he did have that one reader, why not dream big?).

[casual-violinist-fangirl]

I'll Keep You Safe - 2,282 words

Two fics in one day? I could never...

This one is set in between Season 3 Episode 9 and Season 3 Episode 11, so read at your own risk! This fic does contain some spoilers!

This is largely a fluffy, angsty, hurt/comfort fic written for Hunter and Omega - addresses some of the feelings Hunter has about Omega being his daughter following Ventress leaving the Batch on Pabu.

As always this is the link for my AO3 and the fic is posted below!

Link to my Bad Batch Masterlist

————

Something wasn’t right, Hunter mused to himself as he walked along the sea walls of Pabu. It had been little over a week since Ventress had darkened their door, and since then it felt as though the island that once brought Hunter a sense of peace was a ticking time bomb. 

No, something wasn’t right at all… but Hunter couldn’t bear to go back to a life of looking over his shoulder, a life of not being sure that he would be able to keep Omega safe. He couldn’t go back there, not again. Not when they had fought so hard for the life they currently had.

Where would they go, where in the galaxy would be safe from the Empire? If Hemlock was a desperate as people seemed to think he was, he would stop at nothing to re-capture Omega… and who knew what would happen to the girl once she was back in that psychopath’s grasp. He didn’t know what the man had planned, but if it was enough to make Nala Se rebel against science, he didn’t want to find out.

There was Omega’s emotional well-being to consider as well; Hunter couldn’t keep track of the number of times he’d heard her wake up with a gasp, no doubt searching for a threat that didn’t exist. As her… older brother, all he wanted to do was go to her in times like those, but at the same time he didn’t want to overstep. Omega wasn’t the little girl he had met on Kamino anymore. She was practically a young woman, and she deserved the right to privacy… that being said, Hunter still wished she would reach out when she was plagued by as many things as she was.

Almost as though she had heard his thoughts, Hunter spotted Omega perched on the edge of the sea wall, staring out into the distance. For a moment, Hunter thought that she was meditating (she really enjoyed doing so) but on a second glance, he realised she was crying. Her shoulders were hunched and shaking with heartbreaking sobs. 

Another glance made Hunter realise that she was in her night clothes - a thin shirt and trousers as opposed to her usual jacket. She must have been freezing. Without thinking, Hunter walked towards the little girl slowly, careful not to startle her. 

‘I can hear you,’ came a small, broken voice, and in that moment he knew he was busted. Omega turned towards him, her cheeks stained with tears; how long had she been sat here for? ‘I couldn’t sleep… I thought if I left, I might be able to clear my head.’

Hunter nodded, taking a seat on the wall next to her. He made sure to leave a gap between them, not wanting to make her feel crowded. 

‘I couldn’t sleep either.’ Technically not a lie, though the truth was Hunter hadn’t been trying to sleep. It was hard to come by when your kid was being hunter by the Empire. 

Omega nodded, a sniff leaving her before she reached up to wipe her face with the sleeve of her shirt. 

‘You know,’ she continued after a moment of silence. ‘I love this place so much.’ Hunter could feel his heart breaking at her admission, if only because he felt the exact same way. Maybe one day they would be able to come back here and live a life of peace… maybe.

‘Pabu is a sanctuary,’ he commented. ‘No matter where you come from, you’re guaranteed acceptance.’

‘But not safety.’

Tears were trickling down her cheeks again, and Hunter reached out an arm, an offering. She shuffled closer to him until she was tucked into his embrace and the pair sat, staring out into the darkness together. Pabu was lit up by night, soft lantern lights shimmering throughout the island. Omega breathed in deeply, inhaling the sea air like it was the last time she might get the chance. 

‘We need to leave here, don’t we?’ she said it like a question but Hunter could tell from her voice that she already knew the answer. He nodded, resting his chin on top of her head as he held her just a little closer. 

‘We’ll come back one day,’ he tried to reassure. ‘You’re going to come back, Omega.’

There was a pause as the child took in what he was saying… her eventual response nearly made him fall off of the wall.

‘Wouldn’t it just be easier if I was dead?’

Tears filled Hunter’s eyes unbidden and he suddenly found it a little harder to breathe. 

“No,” he croaked out, a little harsher sounding than he had intended but it got the point across. “It absolutely would not be easier if you were dead, ad’ika, so please, please don’t say things like that.”

Omega tensed a little in his embrace, wriggling enough that she could look up at Hunter. 

“What does that mean?” she asked, her voice no louder than a whisper; had Hunter not had heightened hearing, he would have missed it.

He smiled a little, though his heart was racing. He had hardly come to terms with his own feelings on the matter of who Omega was to him. She wasn’t a soldier, but that was okay because he no longer fit that role either… gone were the days where he would happily call himself sergeant. For so long he was convinced that his feelings were no different than that of his brothers, and it was true. His brothers would die for Omega - they would kill for her. Hunter… Hunter felt as though he couldn’t breathe around Omega; his heart ached and he found himself being unable to do anything other than worry about her safety. About her happiness, about whether or not she was getting enough sleep, enough to eat, getting to be a child. 

It had come to the point where he could deny them no longer. In the days of her absence, Hunter had been like a man possessed. He was reckless with his life and regrettably he had also been reckless with Wrecker’s at times. His brother had called him out on it, pulling him back from the brink of chaos more than once.

You gotta be alive to save her, Hunter. You can’t help her if you’re dead.

They had been dark times, and the thought of getting Omega back had been the only thing keeping Hunter sane… though it also seemed as though it had been the thing that was driving him to recklessness.

——

(Two Weeks Before Omega’s Return)

“We need to have a chat, Sarge.” Wrecker’s gruff voice broke Hunter from his work - he had been staring at a fragment of a holo map for what felt like hours now. 

“Yes?” he asked, trying not to sound as though he was fed up. He was tired and hungry and weeks of following one particular lead had cost them more time and credits than he cared to admit. Wrecker switched the map off, sitting in front of his brother. His eyes were filled with concern, a familiar expression for Wrecker recently. Concern for Hunter.

“You need to stop and rest, Hunter,” Wrecker started off gently, as though he was trying to coax a wounded animal out of hiding. The sergeant frowned - he had not been expecting that. 

“I know you and ‘Mega have a… different relationship from the rest of us…” he trailed off, trying to figure out what to say next. Hunter bristled.

“What do you mean, different relationship?” he asked, genuinely confused. Omega was his baby sister, just as she was to Wrecker. The larger clone looked at him, slightly shocked before letting out a huff of laughter.

Hunter was still confused. What did Wrecker mean?

“The kid’s basically your ad’ika, Sarge,” Wrecker joked, his voice full of soft humour. “Tech always said you had ‘an affinity for being paternal’… I just didn’t really know what it meant until now.”

Oh

Paternal. Hunter felt as though he’d been winded. Of course he loved Omega, she was a wonderful child and it pained him that she wasn’t with them any more. He guess he’d just never seen their relationship as any different from the one she shared with his brothers.

Though now that he though about it, it was Hunter who was often mistaken for her dad on missions, usually because she was clinging to his hand or his arm. It was Hunter who was called for in the middle of the night when she was unwell, it was Hunter’s bed she crawled into when she’d had another nightmare. It was Hunter who looked at her as though she was the universe, and it was Omega who looked at him as though he’d hung the stars. Shep had made a few comments about him being a fathers… hell, even Hemlock had spoken of his paternal nature…

Omega was his kid. His… his daughter. His ad’ika. 

“Looks like I’ve given you something to think about,” Wrecker was still staring at Hunter. “Just…” he trailed off, his eyes filling with tears for a moment. “Don’t get yourself killed looking for her, Hunter. She needs her buir just as much as you need your kid.”

With that pearl of wisdom, the gentle giant stood from his chair and went back to the cockpit, leaving Hunter to have a breakdown over this new revelation. 

——

(Present Day)

Omega was still looking at him expectantly, her eyes watery still, but also curious. He smiled down at her, trying to calm himself down as he thought about what to tell her. He knew what he thought, what he felt, but what id she didn’t feel the same?

“Ad’ika…” he trailed off, already cringing at his efforts. “Ad’ika is a Mando’a word.” The little girl nodded at him, her attention still 100% on him. “It means little one or,” he cleared his throat. “Or it means daughter.”

A small gasp left the child, but Hunter couldn’t bring himself to look down. He couldn’t bring himself to face inevitable rejection. 

“You…” Omega’s words were shaky, cautious. “You think I’m like your daughter? I’m your kid? You’re my dad?” 

Hunter looked down at the child; he was still crying from their previous conversation, though that was quickly becoming long forgotten.

“I do,” he managed to say, a small smile on his face. He braced himself for a let down.

Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

Omega pulled him even closer, burying her face in his side and refusing to let him go. She was crying all over again, but when he pulled her away, there was a smile on her face.

“Omega?” he asked, concern all over his features. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, kid. I won’t call you that again if you don’t want me to…”

“No!” Omega’s sobs turned to sniffles and she smiled a little wider. “I want to be your kid, Hunter. I really do.”

The man needed no other cue; he pulled Omega as close to him as he could, resting his cheek on top of her head as he rocked her gently. The pair were both crying at this realisation, but neither were sad about it. They sat in a soft, happy silence for a while - the world around them could have stopped turning and I don’t think they would have noticed. 

Eventually Omega broke the silence; her head was resting against Hunter’s chest as though she was trying to listen for his heartbeat through his armour.

“Hunter?”

“Uh huh?”

“What’s the Mando’a word for dad?”

Blinking rapidly, Hunter couldn’t help but smile. “It’s buir,” he replied, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair. Omega nodded, snuggling closer to him. 

“I love you buir.”

“I love you too, ad’ika.” 

They made their way back to the Marauder slowly, and on their arrival Hunter insisted that Omega was wrapped in a blanket. She could have at least taken a jacket with her when she’d left the ship, he thought to himself. He had just been getting ready to send her to bed when a small hand shot out of the blanket Omega was wrapped in, stopping him. 

“I… I don’t want to be on my own,” she whispered, and Hunter was reminded of their current situation. “I don’t want this to be a dream and for me to wake up back there…” her eyes were filling with tears one more and Hunter pulled her into his arms before picking her up and carrying her to his bunk. 

“You can always stay here tonight, if you want?” he suggested, a smile on his face as she nodded; in that moment she had almost seemed like her old self again. Young, innocent and without the burden of the Empire on her shoulders.

Omega curled up next to the wall of his bunk, looking at him expectantly. Hunter discarded the armour on his top half before laying down next to her. Immediately she was curled up, grabbing one of his arms and clutching it like it was a soft toy.

“I’ve got you, ad’ika,” he soothed as he tried to calm her down. “You’re safe. You don’t need to be afraid, I’ll keep you safe.”

Before long, Omega’s breathing began to even out and her eyelids became heavy. Just as she was about to lose her battle with consciousness, she smiled a small, sleepy smile.

“Love you, buir. Thank you for keeping me safe.”

“Love you too, Mega. Always.”

————

Two days later, darkness arrived on Pabu and unknown to Hunter, every promise he had made to Omega about her never being taken again… was about to be broken.

[littlewriterfullofwords]

Destroy me

Pairing: Banda x fem/reader

Summary: Y/N is obsessed with Banda and is almost stalking him

Warnings: swearing, obsession, blood, selfharm, 2nd season spoilers (if there is more let me know)

A/N: Another feeling too personal. Intelligent psychopaths are my type so please forgive me... Probably will write second part to it, part with all those bloody stuff he did to reader <3

Even though you were living, if you could call 'living' trying to survive by playing those games in a 'magic' world you found yourself in, life quietly, your mind had been a mess since you have seen Banda on the street. Why? Well...you were a big lover of criminal stuff and serial killers so Banda had to be on your list. You knew almost everything about him, knew names of all his victims and God, you wanted to be one of it. It might sound weird but you have been fucking obsessed with this man since you saw him on the TV few years ago after being arrested for the first murder.

Personally, you were masochist. Your body was covered in scars you had made yourself, for joy and self-destructive purposes, and burns. You loved pain every kind of it so when you had seen Banda on the streets of the Borderland, you saw your opportunity.

You have been following him for days until you joined the game, Jack of Hearts. You didn't like heart games, who did here, but you joined so there was no turn back.

You didn't find yourself a partner, you trusted maths and probability more than any of those lying beasts called humans. Yet every round you would ask random person to tell you the sigh on the collar to be sure your calculations were right. And they were, every fucking time.

During every round you were following Banda, his every move, his every breath, while leaning by the wall in the shadow. You were sure he was feeling that, your stare fixated at his body, but that was what you wanted, you wanted him to know you, see you. Yet he had never looked your way.

"Hey." while walking through the corridor someone grabbed your arm but quickly moved their hand away when felt something wet there. "Omg, you are bleeding! Are you okay?"

"Yeah." you said with calmness and looked at the now red sleeve. "That's fine. Nothing important."

While you were saying that your eyes found Banda under the wall with his black haired partner but he was looking at the floor. God damit. You wanted to scream "LOOK AT ME!" but all those people around were stopping you. They were so useless, they were a burden, weight by the leg. You wanted them all dead.

"Are you sure you okay?" someone else asked when they saw the red stain of blood on your sleeve.

"I'm fine." you murmured and walked away to hide in the shadow in the corner.

You rolled your sleeve and looked at bloody lines you had made to impress your...crush, we can proudly say that. The red liquid was dripping from the wounds, leaving little stripes on your skin, but you really didn't care about it, you were so used to that you weren't paying attention to it.

"Here you are." a boy in yellow-and-black T-shirt squatted next to you and handed you few tissues. "We don't want you to bleed out."

His smile looked genuine you almost believed him. Maybe you should have.

"Thanks." you wiped the blood from around the wounds then covered them with other white papers. "If I died you would have bigger chances to survive. You know that."

"Yeah but it would feel not fair." answered the boy and got up. "Take care of those."

And left happily with a smile on his round face. You also smiled, it was the first time someone cared about you since you were in Borderland. And it felt weirdly good.

The game has been going on pretty quickly since the first lie. Then everyone went like domino, lies, lies and one more lies. No one was a friend now. It was harder for you to hide in the shadows or follow Banda around without him noticing. Yet you didn't give up, every opportunity was good so you had taken every and each one.

And the day when it was only you, Banda, office guy aka Yaba and his girlfriend, Chishiya and Enji came really quickly. Now maths was harder, a lot harder but it was your only hope now and ever. As long as it was working you weren't ready to give it up.

"Your hand." the silver haired man, Chishiya, came up to you the same day with a pack of biscuits in his hand and pointed at the red sleeve. "Why?"

"Not your problem." you answered harshly, he wasn't someone who deserved to know the reason.

"Banda, right?" another question from the man made you look at him with consternation written all over your face. "You got an interest in him."

"Not your business." you growled and walked away, away from Chishiya and from the answer you didn't want to share.

The same day, all of the survivals walked into cells and gave their last, as found out later, answers. But before leaving the small, ugly looking, rooms, you all waited. All except from the Jack of Hearts. Enji.

"God, the should have chosen someone else." you whispered when you heard his voice. "Someone clever at least."

You wanted to leave the cell but other voices stopped you. You recognized Chishiya, Yaba and Banda, all of them making fun of the stupid Jack of Hearts and his plan of playing with Banda or other people in the prison. You wanted to laugh as well, make jokes alongside with all the men outside, but you decided to still hide in the cell and listen. But the one word caught your attention, 'torture', and it brought a big smile on your face. You knew Banda would play the leading role in torturing and you wanted to see that.

"You can stop hiding." Chishiya walked up to your cell and called you from the outside. "They are gone."

Not willingly, and for sure not happily, you opened the door and left the small room to face silver haired man.

"I wasn't hiding." you said and closed the door. "I was relaxing."

"Just as you were relaxing after our last conversation." answered silver haired and walked away unbothered.

"Stop being so nosy." you whispered before you walked the other way heading towards the exit of the prison.

But when you were passing one of the cells you realized the door was open. Your curiosity won so you peeked inside and almost gasped, but quickly covered your mouth. There was Banda and Yaba, both kneeling next to Enji with sharp objects in their hand already covered in blood. You knew you shouldn't be looking, but the adrenaline in your veins and big amount of curiosity made you stay and look. Until Banda moved his head and looked you in the eyes.

"Wanna join?" asked calmly the serial killer and a smile appeared on his lips.

"Nah, thanks." you answered but deep inside you wanted to work arm by arm with your inspiration and crush. "I'd rather look. Don't want to get my hands dirty. But I have to go. Have fun you two."

And you left, despite the will to stay and watch.

But you didn't walk away. You stopped behind the enter door and waited. For what? For Banda and Yaba...well, mostly Banda. You wanted to ask a favour.

"You said you had to go." his voice shooshed away your thoughts and made you look at him and his companion. "Plan changed?"

"Yeah...I mean n-not really." you stuttered and felt the blush on your cheeks. "May I ask you a favour?"

Men looked at one another and you were sure they were talking with their eyes only, like two friends who had known each other for years. Yaba nodded, bowed your way and walked away slowly, fixing his suit.

"What's the favour?" asked Banda, his voice and the small space between you two caused you chills on the back.

"Can you please...hurt me?" you didn't care how crazy that sounded, you needed that, you needed him to hurt you. "Please?"

You quickly rolled up your sleeves and moved your arms closer to the killer to see. You saw him clearly looking at your scars and cuts and you saw him smile, it gave you hope.

"You were looking at me all the time in here." he pointed at the prison behind his back.

"Oh you realized." you scratched the back of your head playing someone who didn't know that. "Well...sorry for that."

"You are not sorry." Banda made one more step and grabbed your arm with fresh cuts then put a pressure on the wounds. "I can see that in your eyes. You wanted me to see you."

A gasp left your lips because of the wave of pain coming from the cuts, his deep voice and just him being so close. You felt the wounds reopen, you felt the blood streaming down your wrist, you wanted more.

"Tsk, you got me." you giggled and looked him in the eyes. "So would you do me this favour I had asked?"

"With pleasure." his smile changes, it became dangerous, but still fucking attractive.

This night you both didn't leave the prison again. You stayed there and let Banda do whatever he wanted. And you were grateful.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello again!

Okay I'm just here for a chat (if thats okay) (i think you're lovely!)

There are some stuff about the show that really bother me you know... First of all in season 4 What Happens to John Watson.. like he is simply characterized by loyalty right it is who he is, then HOW does he cheat on Mary?! (Okay granted that his heart was elsewhere... ahem. But he's just not someone who would cheat)

Also i think Mary shouldn't be a villain... i know she possibly looks like it messes up Johnlock but i think its the opposite actually. I think John is bisexual and his love for her was real but she was basically a Sherlock substitute who looked like him (John)! Plus, she was there when he was at rock bottom so. But what doesn't make sense is her shooting Sherlock in the chest?! What's up with that!

Okay but the Weirdest part is in the last episode when Sherlock has to choose between John and Mycroft and finally choses to shoot himself... BOTH John and Mycroft do Nothing?? HOW

AAAAA the Last Season was SO much angst.. i think this fandom saved me <3

In my head It was love at first sight... and then slowly falling head over heels crazy in love with your best friend and all of it culminating in the most beautiful TV Romance.

(okay im sorry i think i ranted a bit)

Hi Lovely!

Inbox is always open for a chat (even if it takes me a long time to get to it, LOL), so no worries!

Let's address each of you things one by one:

What HAPPENS to John Watson – Your guess is as good as mine, Lovely, and it's a lot of the reason a lot of us can't take S4 seriously. It feels so OOC for John to cheat on Mary with ANY other woman, other than Sherlock (hence it being part of the Alibi theory, this part of it referencing SHERLOCK as being the one John is actually texting in the night), so many of us just don't think that S4 is what it appears to be on the surface. Of course, it could all just be a coping mechanism to deal with how dirty a beloved series did it's fandom, but we take what we can get, honestly.

As for villain Mary, I have to respectfully disagree, only because I believe that I think they were setting her up in S3 to BE a kickass antagonist for S4. Amanda ALSO thought they were going that route for a bit until (my speculation) things went sour with MF, AND they built up her character as a psychopath imho. Then they made her character attempt a piss-poor redemption arc that just... really soiled S4 for me because I firmly believe that John would have NEVER forgiven Mary for trying to kill Sherlock after seeing what it did to him the first time.

But to your point: John is bisexual, yes, but I don't think he's biromantic. I think he's homoromantic, and it's VERY played up in the series that this is the case: his blasé attitude about ALL his girlfriends, but pouncing around the close men in his life like a puppy? Heck, if Lestrade was single, I have NO doubt John would have taken his chances with him too, LOL. John is horny. That's literally the gist of it. He likes sex, he doesn't care what hole it goes in, just as long as he gets it. But I do think he forms VERY strong attachments to men in his life, and in turn he gets hurt, so he pretends he's not into men because it's "just easier" (you can read more posts about my and others' thoughts on John's sexuality here). He was with Mary because he was lonely, and Mary played him like a fiddle. She knew what John liked, and played that up. I believe it's even explicitly stated she knows what John likes. They only knew each other 6 months, CONVENIENTLY just before Sherlock was on his way back? Even ANDERSON picked up on Sherlock making his way back to London. I believe she was a Moriarty plant to see if John knew Sherlock was for-real dead, and she herself enjoyed the game and stealing and keeping John for herself away from Sherlock was part of that game upon the return. So yeah, I really have a hard time believing she OR John actually loved each other. I dunno, again, personal biases and readings of the series, apologies, LOL. I spent a LOT of time analysing Mary's character arc. But I WANTED her to be the big bad for S4, and it just... fizzled and died.

And finally, on your point about the weirdness of John nor Mycroft opting to stop Sherlock, yeah, have to agree with you there. TFP was a goddamned clustereff of WTF moments and mischaracterizations of literally every character on-screen. The only character NOT in character was Eurus and that's literally because they didn't know what to fucking do with her. TFP was so dumb. I have a hard time believing any of it actually happened the way it did on-screen. But yeah, S4 was a big disappointment for everyone including the actors. I think they only people who thought it was great was Mofftiss and that's because they love the smell of their own farts. I can't believe that they GENUINELY thought TFP was going to be Emmy-worthy (for those unaware, they initially planned to nominate TFP for the Emmy, and instead chose TLD, I believe, after the poor reception of TFP, and acted like they were always going to nominate TLD lol).

Anyway, yeah, it was full of angst, though my reasons for it are probably different than everyone else's, LOL. But the fandom IS fantastic, and that's why we stay here, and why I choose now to curate fandom content. Makes me happy, and keeps me out of drama, LOL.

Thank you so much for giving ME the opportunity to chat and rant! It's been so long since I've done mini meta, and posted my thoughts about everything. I like chatting.

Hope you're having a wonderful day, and sorry again for the delay! <3

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Darkness on the Edge of Town Review (Part 1 of 3)

Warning: The following review contains MAJOR SPOILERS from both the book and from Season 4 of Stranger Things!

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Synopsis: When El discovers a box containing information about a 1977 case from Hopper's time with the NYPD, Hopper is forced to confront his past as he recalls his hunt for a dangerous serial killer with connections to the Occult......

Observations:

When I was in middle school, I remember writing a story that had a similar structure to this book: It started out as a normal case-of-the-week mystery usually found on Police Procedurals or even in detective novels like Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Later on, said mystery would turn out to be just the tip of the iceberg to a far more insidious conspiracy that threatened the protagonists lives and everything they cared about.

Looking back years later, I have enough writing experience now to recognize my story was juvenile and riddled with plot-holes and other elements that didn't make sense. Still, I was a fan of escalating things in a story to make the villains threatening, and I still get a thrill whenever I see that element in movies, or read about it in books. In a way, Stranger Things is like that: What once was a mystery regarding the disappearance of Will Byers has now evolved into a battle between the main characters and a deranged psychopath who's leading his army of monsters to destroy the world.

Darkness on the Edge of Town is similar: It starts out as a case about an unhinged serial killer, only to take a hard left turn about a fourth of the way in and reveal that the threat posed is greater than Hopper could have imagined. The pacing for this book is brisk, the suspense is tight, and I managed to re-read the entire book in two days.

Like my previous reviews, this will be split into several parts regarding characters and social issues covered in the book. There's also a potential gold-mine here for theories about Season 5 (particularly in relation to the main antagonist and his possible connection to the Upside Down), and I plan to discuss those in-depth.

Part 1: El and Hopper

The narrative structure for this book is similar to the movie The Princess Bride in that the main story (Hopper's time with the NYPD in 1977) is within another story (Hopper celebrating Christmas with Eleven in 1984). Like the Grandfather from the movie who reads to his grandson, Hopper tells El about living in New York City, and a case he worked on back then. However, unlike the Grandfather, Hopper is initially reluctant to talk about it because of how violent it was, and it's only from El's prodding that he finally does.

Multiple times, the books cuts between Hopper's memories of the case in 1977 and his conversations with El in the present. El usually inquires about certain events that happened during the case, and tries to learn more about Hopper himself. There's even a scene where (at El's insistence) Hopper spoils a part of his tale to inform her that someone he personally knew from the story survived. It's a lot like when the Grandfather from The Princess Bride reveals to his grandson that Buttercup doesn't get eaten by the shrieking eels before the audience gets to see that scene for themselves. Cheeky! 😂

The passages between El and Hopper work because they help give insight into how Hopper views El, and they also allow El to get to know Hopper a bit better. Take for instance when El questions Hopper about Vietnam and Hopper's reasons for not wanting to talk about it:

Or the reasons why Hopper became a cop, and El piecing together what that entails:

El knew about Hopper's job as a cop (as evidenced by what she tells Kali in season 2), but I don't think she ever truly thought about what that meant for Hopper and the danger he subjected himself to on multiple occasions. In this story, she's getting a better picture of what Hopper's experienced in his lifetime. She's also beginning to realize how much Hopper sacrificed when he took her in despite knowing it could cost him everything.

On top of this, El demonstrates an emotional intelligence about certain situations Hopper talks about. One example is when Hopper discusses his partner, Rosario Delgado, and the sexism/racism she faced initially when she joined Brooklyn's 65th Precinct. El initially doesn't know the words, but she understands immediately that they way some of the men treated Delgado was wrong:

I remember a few years ago receiving a profoundly stupid comment from a Billy stan trying to justify Billy's bigotry by claiming the reason El didn't grow up bigoted is because she didn't know words like racism, sexism, abuse, and so on. Putting aside the brain-dead logic behind that statement, just because El didn't know those words doesn't mean she was incapable of understanding on an emotional level when people were being mean and prejudicial to others. El's greatest trait is that she's empathetic (even towards people like Vecna who don't deserve it) and she can pick up quickly when others are being mistreated and recognize that it's wrong. She did it with Mike in season 1 when Mike tells her about how he's been bullied, and she even had empathy for the kids at the lab who were slaughtered by Vecna despite the cruel way they treated her. That is not something Brenner or anyone else had to teach her. She already knew on an intrinsic level what bigotry was, and implying that El is too stupid to understand that because she doesn't automatically know certain words is insulting beyond belief.

Same principle applies for the fans who make asinine excuses for all the bullying Angela and her friends engaged in by claiming they're children who don't better and need adults to supervise them:

Unlike Hopper's daughter Sara, Angela is NOT a 6 year old who needs mommy and daddy to hold her hand and explain to her the difference between right and wrong. She knew perfectly well that her treatment of El in season 4 was vicious, and she chose to do it anyway because she could get away with it and felt justified in doing so. She is absolutely responsible for what she does, and claiming that she isn't is not only an idiotic take devoid of reason, it's that kind of mentality that leads to people enabling the worst of someone's behavior to the point they becomes narcissistic, self-righteous bullies. Angela lacks empathy. Same with Billy. They know their behavior is hurtful and wrong, and they don't care.

If someone like El, who was raised as a laboratory experiment with the intention of being molded into a weapon against the Soviets, was brutally bullied most of her life, and got manipulated by two different psychopaths who were using her for their own ends, is still capable of being empathetic towards others after all of that, then there aren't any excuses for how Angela and Billy behave. They are terrible people who deserve to be held accountable for their actions, and I have no patience for those who choose to make apologies for them.

Adding on to this, I know there's a perception that because El got bad grades in school when she was in Lenora, it meant she wasn't as intelligent as her peers. There's even a scene on the show where El's math teacher is dismissive of her after she gets another F in class and condescendingly tells her they'll talk after break while offering no means to help her. I also see fans apply this logic to characters like Eddie (who also got bad grades) and Steve (who wasn't able to get into college).

I could do an entire separate post about how the U.S. Education system is a poor measurement for intelligence in an individual, but I will say that just because the three of them struggled in school doesn't mean they weren't smart. Eddie simply didn't care about grades, and put more energy into learning D&D lore and playing guitar because that's what interested him (look at how quickly he learned "Master of Puppets" by Metallica on his guitar between the time the album came out and the night of his concert in the Upside Down). Steve isn't brushed up on certain topics, but he does make connections that other people miss (like the music he hears in the Russian recording in S3, or him questioning why Vecna stopped killing after 1959 and only started again recently). El by comparison is capable of learning, but because of her upbringing in the lab, it takes a little longer since she's stunted. Hopper acknowledges this in the book, and privately expresses his disgust for what Brenner did to her:

This is why, for all of his flaws, I like how Hopper teaches El: He works with her in the ways she needs to be able to develop. She learns at her own pace, and Hopper never makes her feel dumb for doing so. Regardless of whether this was unintentional, the book (and the show to some extent) make an inadvertent argument in favor of homeschooling as a better means of teaching someone compared to the school system's method of expecting everyone to be on the same level and punishing those who aren't.

Getting back to Hopper and El, at this point in the story, following the events of season 2, they have a better understanding of one another. Hopper trusts that El will be able to handle how graphic his backstory was, and El trusts Hopper to be honest with her and support her.

I also like how they referenced the game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that Hopper got El for Christmas, as well as the walkie-talkie her friends bought her. It's something that's depicted in the Winter Special, and I'm glad they kept track of that continuity nugget.

I also appreciate the acknowledgement in-universe from Hopper that, as much as he misses Sara, he recognizes El is a different person from her. She reminds him of his daughter, but he's trying not to project his idea of Sara onto El while he raises her.

I know in past reviews I've talked about characters who may die in season 5, but I doubt Hopper and El are on that list. They've already done two fake-out deaths for them (once for El in S1 and once for Hopper in S3), which gives the impression that if the writers wanted either of these characters dead, they would have killed them off already. They will likely survive to the end.

El's story in season 5 will likely be about stopping Vecna, but I'm curious if they're going to bring back the Russians again and Hopper will be stuck dealing with them at the same time as Vecna's invasion. There's a lot of unresolved questions surrounding this arc (like how the Russians found out about the Gate in the first place, how they were planning to weaponize the UD monsters, etc), and it's likely the KGB aren't going to let the damage at Kamchatka go unpunished. They'll either come after Hopper and his loved ones for retribution, or they'll try to restart their operation in Hawkins now that Vecna's gate is wide open for the time being.

On top of that, I'm curious what El's future looks like post-Vecna and the UD. Now that Hopper is back in her life, will she go back to being home-schooled by him? I can't imagine she's in a rush to return to Lenora with how viciously she was treated by her peers there, and she arguably might develop better without having to attend public school. There's also the question about her powers: Will she still keep them by the end of the show, or will something happen that will cause her to become ordinary again? I know they've already played that arc out in season 4, and they might avoid going there again for the sake of repetition. Still, if my theory is correct about the UD being connected to the powers El and Vecna have, and that the death of Vecna means the death of everything in the UD because of how he's used the Mind Flayer to intertwine himself into the hive mind, it could end up having an effect on El's powers going forward.

But this is all speculation. Whether they'll go that direction remains unknown as of now.

Part 2: Hopper's Case

When Hopper's case occurs, it's been 5 years since he moved away from Hawkins to New York City. This happens after Hopper came back from serving two tours in Vietnam, and was looking for a new purpose in his life. Quiet suburban Hawkins didn't sit right with him at the time, and he ended up convincing his then-wife Diane to move their family to the Big Apple.

In many ways, this is reflective of Hopper's character on the show: When he doesn't have some kind of purpose driving him forward, it's like he doesn't know what to do with himself. When I first saw Stranger Things, I thought that the less appealing aspects of Hopper's character (sleeping around with multiple women, constantly drinking, gaining weight from eating junk food in S3, etc) were just personality quirks of being a jaded washout. Having rewatched the show again (and read this book), I'm starting to see how those elements are symptomatic of PTSD and depression on his part. It's like he has to have something (or in the case of his family and friends, someone) to anchor to in order to have stability in his life. He even discusses this with Enzo/Dmitri when they're being held at Kamchatka:

From "The Nina Project" (Season 4, Episode 5):

Hopper: After that, I was just...I just hid myself in drugs and alcohol. And then people started coming into my life. This girl, El, and Joyce just happened, and I told myself they needed me. But that wasn't true. That's a lie. They didn't need me.............I needed them.

NYC is where he wanted to be at the time, and this case ended up being his big break.

The case itself begins as a simple hunt for a serial killer: Three victims (Jonathan Schnetzer, Sam Barrett, and Jacob Hoeler) who are stabbed in a way to form a five-pointed star on their chests while the killer leaves a calling-card behind:

Each of the murders are done in a ritualistic way, and the cards are later revealed to be Zener cards, which were created for use in experiments related to clairvoyance:

Things get complicated when the FBI (led by Agent Gallup, whom Hopper has a contentious relationship with) take over the investigation. Upset over this, and believing there's more they can learn from the case, Hopper and Delgado go behind their superior's back to find out more about the circumstances regarding the deaths of these men.

However, everything takes a sharp left turn when a gang-member named Leroy Washington comes to Hopper and promises to give him information about a cult leader in exchange for protection and getting his sister, Martha, safely out. He then gives Hopper a Zener card, similar to the ones found at the crime scenes, causing Hopper to realize that said cult leader (named Saint John) is behind the killings, and is planning something terrible:

I'm not spoiling much here by revealing who the killer is since the book unveils it within the first 110 pages. The remaining 300+ deal with Hopper working to stop Saint John before he enacts a plan that threatens the safety of NYC and its citizens.

When I discussed escalation in a story at the beginning of this review, this is what I was talking about.

Saint John acts as a cross between Charles Manson and Jim Jones. I wouldn't even be shocked if the author, Adam Christopher, drew inspiration for Saint John from these real-life cult leaders. Saint John prophecies an apocalypse, where Satan will come to New York City, sweeping darkness over the land, to claim his throne. To this end, he begins to build an army of followers by assimilating the various gangs of New York City into one organization called the Vipers, and having his acolytes poach various support groups (AA meetings, Veterans groups, etc) to recruit more followers.

At one point, Hopper is forced to go undercover as a cop on the run to infiltrate Saint John's organization to find out what his master plan is so the FBI knows how to stop it. When he actually meets Saint John for the first time, it becomes apparent to Hopper how both of them are uncannily similar:

Both men served in Vietnam, and both came back looking for a purpose in their lives. Hopper found his as a cop. Saint John found his as the leader of a cult.

The creepiest part is that, for all of Saint John's planning, his organization, his recruitment, his stockpiling of weapons and rations, his coordinated attack, his ideology.......................he actually believes what he's preaching. Hopper eventually realizes something happened to Saint John in Vietnam that made him this way. He is correct, but not in the way he thinks.

Part 3: Saint John's connections to the Upside Down

Towards the end of the novel, Saint John drops a bombshell about his time in Vietnam and what he was doing there:

While the book doesn't ever mention Dr. Brenner by name, it's possible the experiments done to Saint John in Vietnam were similar to the ones he did at Hawkins Lab, from the psychedelics he gave Terry Ives and other test subjects, to orchestrating El's birth and the creation of the other special children who were bred as weapons against the Soviets. Brenner may not have even had to be in Vietnam at the time. This could have been another branch of the U.S. government conducting similar experiments on soldiers to make them more efficient in the Cold War.

In any case, the insidious implication is that whatever they did to Saint John, it gave him a glimpse of the Upside Down and may have put him in contact with a malevolent force from the other side:

I've proposed a theory several times in my reviews of Six and Suspicious Minds that, in addition to the Upside Down being linked to the powers that El and Vecna have, the psychedelics given to the test subjects in the experiments may act as a telekinetic gateway between this world and the Upside Down. If Saint John was being experimented on in a similar way to the test subjects at Hawkins Lab, he could have seen the Upside Down in its original form (similar to how Vecna saw it when he was first sent there) and believed the place was Hell. It would explain why his entire cult is centered around the idea of Satan coming and darkness spreading across the world. There's also the bit he tells Hopper about hearing a voice that he attributes to Satan, but may have been some otherworldly force from the UD.

I know this book was written and published in 2019, two months before season 3 premiered, and that this book takes place 2 years before El would banish Vecna to the UD, but it should be noted that this book was overseen by Paul Dichter, who has been a writer for the show since season 1. If he's willingly giving information to the authors who pen these tie-in books about the mythology of the show and its characters, then it's likely these are ideas that have been discussed in length in the writers room. One of those ideas might have been a malicious force that powers and operates in the Upside Down which can influence people.

It makes me wonder if that same force reached out to Henry/One/Vecna as a child at the Creel House, did something that activated his powers, and acted as an influence on him (I say this not as a way to excuse all the terrible things Vecna has done, but to give one possible explanation as to how he became as psychologically messed up as he is).

On top of that, Saint John's killings and ideology is eerily similar to Vecna's: Both of them gruesomely murder selected people as part of a grander ritual. Vecna kills four teens (Chrissy, Fred, Patrick, and Max) to open a huge gate in Hawkins and invade with his army of monsters. All four teens are referred to as "sacrifices" by Vecna, and there's even been theories drawn by other fans (such as @itsanotheridiot and @dis-a-ppointment) that the victims chosen by Vecna each represented one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. By comparison, Saint John goes after 5 different victims to "summon the veil of shadow over the earth" and tells Hopper that Satan (or whomever was speaking to Saint John) showed him how to prepare the rituals:

Unlike with Vecna, it's ambiguous if Saint John's ritual would have worked, or if this was a part of his psychosis. If it's the latter, it still doesn't deter from how he had enough of a grip on reality to organize an army under his command, cause a city-wide blackout, and unleash destruction that cost lives. If it's the former, it makes me question if Vecna has a similar voice in his head, directing him like a puppet in part of a greater conspiracy, with that voice coming from somewhere the Upside Down. And unlike with Saint John, this voice succeeded with Vecna, and now has the means to unleash destruction upon Hawkins and beyond.

I'm sure Vecna will continue to act as the main antagonist in season 5 because of how integral he is to all the terrible things that have happened to the main characters, but there's still more about the Upside Down (and Vecna himself) that needs explanation, and there are probably far worse monsters in there than Demogorgons or Demodogs.

To Be Continued In Part 2............

[mrsreginagold]

Fic: Getting Caught Up In A Moment

Fandom: Nikita 

Pairing: Ari Tasarov x Nikita Mears (Nikari)

Rating: R

Spoilers: Season 3 canon divergent AU. Ari betrayed Amanda and is working closely with Division and Nikita. She and Michael are broken up, but she also only learned of Ari’s relationship with Amanda recently and is reeling from the shock of it. 

Summary: Amanda’s quick exit from Division leads to something far more profound for Nikita and Ari. 

Author’s note: When the reveal that Ari and Amanda were an item happened I was decidedly not pleased. While I had resigned myself to the Michael/Nikita plot because that was obviously the endgame, Amanda felt like the worst possible choice for a romance when it came to Ari, as it really didn’t do anything to elevate either one of their characters. If anything it turned Ari from a chess master to a pawn in Amanda’s mind-games. So, in true petty rare shipper fashion: I evoked some revenge 😈. 

On A03

Getting Caught Up In A Moment

                  It felt as though some higher power was punishing her. 

                  Nikita Mears let out a beleaguered sigh as she surveyed the disarray left behind by one Amanda Collins – former head of Division, utter psychopath, and ex-lover of her crush: Ari Tasarov. 

                  Despite every intention not to, that last part tended to be what she would fixate on. Learning that the man who had betrayed Gogol to join her side was romantically involved at one point with the woman she considered the actual devil had dealt a significant blow to her confidence. 

                  To add insult to injury: Amanda neglected to organize things in her rush to get out, leaving Nikita as the one who had to deal with it. 

                  The lovely agent pinched at her temple, vowing to yell – at length – at her boss, Ryan Fletcher, when she had a chance. It would take several hours just to clear out the old office without assistance, and yet she was reluctant to ask the one person who would probably be best suited for the task. 

                  Being around Ari was more awkward now that the truth was out about his past relationship, and Nikita had taken to avoiding him unless it was related to a mission. Her feelings for him hadn’t changed, but it also hurt to look at that impossibly handsome face with the knowledge that someone she desperately wanted to kiss had done so with her nemesis. 

                  That was the crux of the matter, really. She was secretly head over heels and he was oblivious. 

                  With a frustrated sound, she slammed her hand on the table in front of her and groused: “You’re acting like a pitiful teenager!”

                  “It’s never a good sign if you start talking to yourself, you know.”

                  Nikita shrieked and leapt into the air before whirling around to face Ari, who was leaning against the doorframe. 

                  “What the hell are you doing here?” she gasped, her pulse racing both from the sight of him in casual clothing – jeans and a partly unbuttoned flannel shirt over a black tee – and the startle he had given her. She wondered briefly if she would ever truly adjust to him in a civilian look. The man was outright devastating when he wore tailored suits. The way he appeared before her now was borderline unfair.

                  The attractive former head of Gogol took a step towards her while he answered her question. “I asked Ryan where you were.”

                  “Did he fill you in on what I would be doing in your old paramour’s office? Frankly, I don’t think there’s much in here to salvage, if you’re looking for mementos.”

                  Ari scoffed at the sarcasm dripping from her tone, but it didn’t deter him from moving closer. “Truthfully: I would burn this place to a cinder if I could.”

                  “That’s not a bad idea,” she admitted. “But the boss wants me to catalogue whatever that snake left lying around.”

                  “He said as much when I inquired further. And while I think it’s an unfair task that he’s demanded of you, I’m here to help.”

                  She crossed her arms over her chest, arcing a perfectly groomed eyebrow skeptically at his explanation. “And the real reason?”

                  “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the better part of a week, Nikita. You’ve been avoiding me.”

                  It fell silent as they stared each other down. 

                  Nikita glanced at the floor, ashamed of both the fact that Ari had hit the proverbial nail on the head and her own behavior for the past few days. 

                  A soft click meant that the door to the office had closed, and then his footsteps echoed in the eerie quiet of the room before elegant fingers curled under her chin. 

                  Eyes the color of the sea right before a storm bore into hers. “I’d really like to know exactly what I did wrong here,” he whispered, daring a brief caress over her cheek.

                  Her skin automatically tingled at the contact, her heart cartwheeling repeatedly in her chest due to his proximity and the fact that she could discern tiny flecks of green in those crystalline depths. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

                  “Then why do you bolt whenever we’re in the same room? I thought things were improving between us,” there was genuine hurt in his gaze, which only made her guilt increase.

                  “Things were, and then you let it slip that you’d been involved with her,” she gestured wildly around the office they were in. “How did you think I would react to something like that?”

                  “Given that up until three weeks ago you were seeing someone else, I didn’t think you’d react at all,” he confessed, hands grasping at her shoulders firmly in his refusal to let her go. 

                  “You slept with the worst person in the world, so yeah: I think I’m entitled to a reaction! Which is revulsion by the way, I mean, how could you?!”

                  “I never said I slept with Amanda.”

                  “You really expect me to believe that what happened between the two of you never got physical?!” she attempted to wrench free, but he held fast.

                  “Of course not, but it wasn’t that serious!” he pulled her closer instead. “We were never together for lengthy amounts of time, and it was always on and off depending on how clear our schedules were. Besides that…well, you can call me old fashioned, but I believe that being truly intimate with a person requires actual affection. That wasn’t what I had with that woman. Amanda and I, we…we used each other, Nikita. She was aware of it, and I was incredibly aware of it. I never loved her! Not like I…” he paused then, his attractive features softening. “It’s nothing compared to what I’ve been feeling for you.”

                  She swallowed. On the one hand, he had just clarified that he did, in fact, harbor something for her. On the other: he had confirmed her worst fear. 

                  “Is that why you were running away? Because at one point, I chose her? Nikita –the only person who matters now is you. I want you. I choose you.” 

                  “Prove it.” She demanded, locking their gazes together. “You want me? Then make me forget everything else.”

                  “It would be my honor,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes before leaning in to kiss her.  

                  To say that Ari’s embrace was intoxicating was putting it lightly. Nikita had never experienced her knees actually buckling before, and maybe it was because she had anticipated this exact moment far longer than she had let on– but it didn’t matter because he caught her. 

                  She sighed against his mouth and wound her arms around his neck while he carried her over to the nearest surface, which was the former occupant’s desk in the corner of the room. 

                  He set her down carefully – a remarkable feat considering the gradual yet steady lust that threatened to erupt between them. His fingers then slipped beneath the hem of her dress to stroke provocatively over the bare skin of her thigh. 

                  In retaliation, she reached between them to undo the last few buttons of his flannel, shoving the garment insistently down his arms until he yanked them free. 

                  Ari finally broke for air and to strip the remaining tee over his head, revealing an exquisitely toned chest and abdomen.     

                  Nikita chewed at her lower lip, her eyes roaming over his torso in admiration. She reached out so she could drag her nails through the downy hair that dusted his skin, and then skimmed her fingers down along a flat stomach, delighting in the pleased hiss that emerged in response. 

                  He lunged, lips seeking hers over and over while he eased her out of the dress, leaving her in matching, dark blue lingerie. 

                  She coiled her legs around his waist to keep him close, shivering when he nuzzled at her clavicle and then lay feathery kisses along the slope of her bare shoulder. 

                  She blindly cast her bra to the side, desperate for his skin against hers, gasping when he gathered her flush against his form and oh-so-delicious friction was caused.

                  Clever fingers discovered her unbound breasts, thumbing over sensitized skin until it reacted beneath his touch. Arousal clouded her senses when he finally replaced his hands with his mouth, licking and biting lightly at first one then the other.

                  She hastened things by shucking away her underwear and then helping him out of what remained of his clothes.

                  The next thing Nikita knew, Ari was reclining her against the rough wooden surface while he continued in his ministrations. Her body arced naturally as he traveled lower and lower: until at last, she was at the mercy of a talented tongue.

                  Her hips bucked upwards, a pleased moan tearing from her throat while her lover worked a spectacular brand of magic. No other had brought her to completion so thoroughly, or so quickly. In little time at all she was seeing stars. 

                  He finally stopped when she was quaking from release, crawling back up her body and darting firefly kisses lazily across her skin. “I think this might be more comfortable if we moved to the couch.”

                  “There’s one in here? I didn’t even realize,” she flung an arm over her head, chest heaving as she attempted to calm down. 

                  “I forgot about it myself, but then this tiny voice in the back of my head began to warn me of splinters in uncomfortable places,” he chuckled, low, throaty, and incredibly alluring despite the humor in his tone. 

                  “Now that you mention it, I’m not sure this thing will hold up if we continue here. And the last thing we need is to explain to the boss just how the desk broke.”

                  “That settles it, then. Hold on.” With minimal effort, he scooped her up and then carted her, bridal style, away from the desk.

                  She nuzzled gratefully at the crook of his shoulder, draping her arms around his neck while they made the short trip to the divan located in a different area of the room. 

                  Seconds later, he deposited her on the plush surface and then settled comfortably against her. “Now…where were we? After all: I have a promise to keep.”

                  Nikita grinned and yanked Ari to her for a kiss that he eagerly returned.

                  She moaned when he glided his fingers over the curve of her hip, drawing her even closer.

                  They gave in to the rapid build of desire, embracing feverishly before he joined them together with a decisive thrust. 

                  Everything around her seemed to spiral. He felt so unbelievably good buried within her, and she canted her hips on instinct to start them off. 

                  They fell into a perfect rhythm, her fingers clawing at his back to encourage the motion of their tangled bodies, spurring him onward till they reached their pinnacle in unison. 

                  From that moment on – nothing else mattered save for their shared pleasure. 

                  It was easy to lose track of how many times they made love, especially when Ari proved to be quite gifted in that respect.

Nikita was content to lay in an exhausted, sated pile with him afterwards, covered by a throw blanket he had found in a box near the desk. With a content sigh, she nuzzled at his chest until something caught her eye and her brow furrowed.

                  “Hey, when did we manage to break the coffee table?”

                  He raised his head long enough to ascertain what she was referring to and then returned to resting it against the pillowed arm of the divan. “No idea. Maybe after that third round on the desk?”

                  “Which somehow held up better than we expected.” She remarked. “I guess it goes to show that in some respects, Amanda does have taste. Namely in furniture and men.”

                  “Still jealous?” he ducked a kiss to her temple.

                  “No, just determined to make sure she never digs her claws in you again,” she stretched, tracing a heart languidly over his. “You’re mine now. She’s just going to have to deal.”

                  “Trust me love; she will no longer pose a problem…at least where we’re concerned.” 

                  She shifted so she could gaze down at him, her heart flipping at the affection clearly reflected back at her. No other words needed to be said, so she leaned in, initiating a passion-filled kiss that escalated immediately. 

                  Given how difficult it was to maintain balance in their current location, she wasn’t remotely surprised when they toppled onto the floor, though judging by his laughter he also didn’t care much. 

                  They continued to embrace, hands wandering avidly over bare skin and both very much willing to head into their next session when a familiar, clearly amused voice stated. “So this is what passes for inventory cataloguing nowadays?”

                  The couple pulled away from each other to spot Owen Elliot standing by the now open door, grinning from ear to ear at being the one to catch them. 

                  “Uh…” Nikita hastily grabbed the nearest piece of clothing, which ended up being her lover’s shirt. “What time is it?”

                  “Around 8 am. You two have been here all night?”

                  “We lost track of time,” Ari admitted, once again dressed in the jeans he had been wearing before, but not bothering with anything else as he instead assisted his girlfriend in locating her dress. 

                  “No kidding,” Owen chuckled. “And I’m assuming neither of you noticed the camera.”

                  They froze in unison and then turned to face him with nearly identical, terrified expressions. 

                  He merely pointed towards the ceiling. “I can take care of that for you if you like.”

                  “What’s the catch?” Nikita inquired, used to taking the lead in negotiations with the former Guardian. 

                  “I get to have dinner with the two of you for a week. Lover boy’s cooking skills are legendary by this point, and it seems a fair trade for walking in on you.” 

                  “I’m assuming you mean meals made by scratch?” Ari queried, now fully dressed thanks to Nikita finally returning his overshirt. 

                  “Yes. No shortcuts.”

                  “Fine.” He wrapped an arm around his love when she moved back to his side. “I’ll consider it a reasonable price to pay for forgetting to lock the damn door.”

                  “We were preoccupied,” she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Owen, if you can get that camera, we’ll clean this place up; and actually put together that list.”

                  With missions clear, the three set to task, and if anyone happened to pass by and notice how affectionate Ari and Nikita now were, well, that couldn’t be helped.

The End

[f0point5]

I always been a big ferrari fan and kimi and seb were my favorite but I welcomed charles and I was also one of the people exciting about his future in ferrari but honestly idk anymore, I supported even when they are low and I also hate ferrari but is still my team so lol but I'm so done of charles like I can't bring myself to support him after the clown show he did in monza, I say in twitter that I'm rooting for carlos because he look like he has his shit together and at least I can see him winning a race this year, and he did it a week after mind you, unlike charles and their psychopath fans doxxed me and now I'm actively praying for his downfall, not the I ever need it with his so called fans always putting their foot on their mouth, the power of God is by my side 🤞

Okay this started off fine and then we went on a journey 😅

I’m not sure what clown show you’re referring to in Monza?

Also I think wanting a driver to fail because people who support that driver (whom he doesn’t know and/or care about) are psychos is a little random but everyone has their things.

Carlos has definitely been more on top of the car this year but it does suit him better. Not that that takes away from his results, but I don’t think he’s that far ahead of Charles in terms of his driving this season.

I personally don’t think the tifosi will ever turn on Charles en masse while he’s still there and I don’t see Carlos staying at Ferrari for more than 3 years so 🤷‍♀️

Also that “unlike Charles” made me chuckle because also unlike 19 other people 😂