#who is giving this woman turkey basters

[take-everything-you-can]

1. Eddie convincing you to join the mile high club 2. You and Eddie using your hands to pleasure each other in the back of a movie theater 3. Eddie fucking you in the back of his van during lunch break (school or work, whichever), the rocking of the vehicle and the LOUD moans he's drawing from you making it abundantly clear what's going on. When you two finally finish, get yourselves cleaned up and put back together, and emerge from the van there's a round of applause and cheering from those near enough to see and hear what was going on. Eddie's all kinds of smug, and rightly so. 4. Eddie knocks you up without even trying, and despite him wearing a condom and you being on the pill - and it's twins. Meanwhile, it gets out all over Hawkins that Jason Carver is both impotent and infertile and that 'his' kids are really Billy Hargrove's. Jury is still out on whether Billy and Jason's lady had an affair or used a turkey baster. 5. More Eddie adjacent than Eddie, but... based on this pic of Joel Stoffer (Wayne Munson)... https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjFlOTY2YTUtMWFhNC00M2Q4LThhZDktMDlkZWZmMTMzNzk2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMzQ2NDgxMQ@@.V1.jpg -- Wayne is Eddie's actual biological father. Wayne and Eddie's mom had a drunken one-night stand at some point while Al was in jail yet again. Maybe revenge for Al screwing another woman? Anyway, Eddie's mom ends up preggers with Eddie, and she and Wayne both know it's really Wayne's kiddo but for her safety have to pretend it's Al's. 6. During Steve and Nancy's wedding reception, you and Eddie sneak off to fuck in the women's dressing room. Eleven catches you two when she returns to the dressing room to change her heeled shoes for sneakers because her feet are hurting. She hears what sounds to her like someone fighting, and uses her superpowers to rip the doors off the hinges. It doesn't take her long to figure out what's really going on, and she finally understands what Max meant by 'happy screams'.

Thank you for sending so many thots babe #6 I'm not gonna touch on cause anything involving the kiddos in walking in on Eddie or R during smexy time gives me the ick butttttttt. 1-5 I got you babe

1. The second you step into the airport that man is on you ! The second you jokingly ask him about it and see how stuff his posture goes you know what been brewing behind those brown eyes! But the second he steps into the bathroom after you and realized how small his space to move was he hates it instantly and vows that it's only ever happening that once. Yet Everytime you are on a plane together he caves and fits himself back into the tiny bathroom.

2. Thank God the movie theater speakers are loud and ominous as you got him in to see Jennifer's body. But as that lighter flickers over her tounge Eddie starts to shift in his seat as he sees you clench your thighs repeatedly against the popcorn in your lap. So he offers a helping hand one you take without hesitation and offer your own in return meeting his fingers with strokes that are locked in a battle to see who can get who off first.

3. Not the small crowd I'd be so proud yet so incredibly embarrassed if that ever happened to me like yesssss go off queen but no no no ....... You pretty just ask Eddie to take you home and instead he takes you to his house to get your mind off of everyone that was outside the van he lovingly tells you that they won't remember it in a few days time but when he goes down on you you forget instantly.

4. THAT RIGHT THERE 👌 yeah I can see Eddie being a fertile myrtle ... He's just cocky enough boast not knowing that his sperm can withstand gama rays!! I fully believe he is in it for a big family !

Also the Jason story arc is so good I'm fucking dying 😂😂

5. I can't say much here cause I have a baby ficlet similar to this in the works except more fluffy with a different kind of angst for my angieverse but Annie you really pull at my heart strings with this one

6. Stancy is not my endgame but to each his own if Steve ever does settle down with whomever he choses I fully believe eddie is sleeping with a bridesmaid best believe and that's all im saying lol

[boldlyvoid]

No Longer Alone Together

Part One | Masterlist

Sunday, November 27th, 2022: The Recap

She’s standing in the bathroom, it’s a cold November morning, evident by how frigid the tiles are on her bare feet. She’s up because the kids are in her bed now, Spencer isn’t home, the world is still quiet but her mind was not. She has so much to do, she doesn’t feel good at all and she thinks she knows exactly why… its just the worst time ever to go through the first trimester again. 

Last December it was hectic as all hell with 3 kids. Atlas turned 7 just 5 days before Christmas, his birthday always took priority over the month, but this year she was nervous she wouldn’t be able to give him all the attention he deserves… Not when she’s currently gripping the kitchen sink like her life depends on it, nauseous as ever, waiting for this pregnancy test to tell her what she already knows. 

They weren’t actively trying… though, when were they ever? They’ve never used protection in their time together, resulting in Atlas in 2014, Noelle in February 2016 and little Luna in September 2019. There was a big gap between having Luna and taking this pregnancy test… not that they weren’t having sex in that time, they were just too busy dealing with COVID and zoom school and young immune systems every single day for almost 3 years. 

Life was stressful enough as it was with 3 kids under 10, they didn’t need a newborn on top of it all while the world was shut down… at least Y/N didn’t want that right now.

On the other hand, Spencer was sharing his seed with anyone who asked for it.

She liked to phrase it that way as if it wasn’t just her best friend and her wife who wanted Spencer’s sperm to have a genius family of their own. It always made her laugh to see people's reactions to finding out Spencer now had 2 kids with another woman and that Y/N babysat said baby from time to time. 

At the height of the pandemic, Emily and Laura were locked away in their DC mansion wishing they had a baby or two to share their time with… Laura always knew they wanted to be pregnant one day, she was fully ready to book an appointment with a clinic and look through books of donors when the world shut down. 

Emily, ever the planner, said: “if you want a smart and cute kid, we should ask Spencer to be our donor and we’ll do it right here at home, just me and you and the turkey baster.” 

Only the last part was a joke… until the device they bought to help do the inseminating looked a lot like a turkey baster. 

Emily and Spencer always joked about being siblings separated at birth, she cared for him like a big sister and he’d kill for her if he had to. He almost did during the Scratch era of their hell job… So when Emily asked Spencer if he’d ever considered donating his sperm to help her make a family, he didn’t have to think too hard about it. 

Asking Y/N if she was okay with it was the hard part for him, for some reason he really thought she’d have a problem with it… but it was actually quite fun helping him provide a sample in a cup. With Emily and Laura doing it on their own without doctors' help, not wanting to go to a doctor's office during the pandemic, it took a few tries, and then they had Peter Joseph, better known around their house as little PJ, in February 2021. 

Now Laura is pregnant again, at 35 weeks currently and on baby watch for all of Christmas, her due date is 1st of January, 2023 but you can’t really expect a second baby to come on time… the BAU family was all placing bets on just when this new Prentiss baby was going to join their ranks, Y/N thinks the baby might even get to share a birthday with Atlas. 

Derek also had a son right after they had Noelle. Hank Spencer Morgan was adorable, it must come with the name. JJ and Will had Michael not too long after, rounding their total to 3 kids which made them try for Luna to even it up again. 

Before Spence left the FBI for good, they had a few new members join too, one of which was a lovely man named Matt who had a wife and 4 kids, they had their 5th right before Spencer quit— literally about a month before the accident that decided it all for them. 

Much like JJ and Will, they had agreed early on that if things at work got to be too much, if what happened with Hotch ever started to happen to them, then Spencer would quit. They never expected it to actually happen, then Spencer was caught in an explosion, he went down hard and came home feeling fine. But he wasn’t fine. 

Finding Spencer unconscious on the floor was the scariest thing she’s ever been through and poor Atlas saw it too. 

They called 911, and Spencer was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance while she had to stay behind with the kids and wait for someone to come and watch them before she could follow him. It took 20 minutes for Will to show up, 20 minutes that felt like hell on earth, and then she was at his bedside for 2 days. 

With Diana and Liam there too, they held Spencer's hands after surgery and waited way too long to see if he’d ever wake up again. It was a slow brain bleed, he was lucky his wife was coming home to find him, otherwise who knows how long he would’ve been on the floor, waiting for help, unable to ask for it himself. 

He didn’t go back to work after that, he recovered at home with his babies and decided that he was going to stay there with them for good. He loved being a stay-at-home dad, it allowed Y/N to take up more hours at the museum again and he got to do crafts and take adventures and watch them grow up. It was fun until the kids both started school, Luna was still really little and day trips to the science centre and big crafts weren’t really her speed. He was bored most of the days when the house was empty and quiet during nap times…

So he wrote a book. 

Almost like an autobiography, he took the things that happened to him in his first few years of being an agent and turned it into a Sherlock Holmes-style novel. Retelling the adventures of Dr. Sebastian Reeves and his colleagues at the FBI, getting caught in the middle of a serial killer's sick games… Fishing For A King was published on October 14th, 2021 and the sequel, Where Dead Men Rise was just released, taking Spencer away on his first-ever book tour around the country. 

Which is why he’s not home currently. He’s not beside her for the first time ever as she takes a pregnancy test… Instead, he’s doing book signings, TED talks and being interviewed by every news outlet in North America. And tomorrow he’s on Jimmy fucking Fallon. What?? It was insane how much their little life has changed since 2013.  

You see, normally when they planned for a baby they were testing all the time, they always caught it early… this time they didn’t plan at all, she wasn’t testing because she didn’t expect it at all but then the nightmares started up again. Her boobs hurt, she could smell everything from a mile away and she wanted to cry all day long over everything and nothing at all… she knew exactly when she got pregnant too, and even joked about it right after he pulled out for a matter of fact… 

They had some of the best sex of their life at the start of Spencer's press tour thanks to Aunty Penny who watched the kids so she could go to New York with him. It was the first time in 7 years that they’d been completely alone for more than a few hours and they spent all of their free time in bed. Of course, she got pregnant, and they were so fucking happy, it was just like in the beginning. 

The test is positive. 

The brightest positive she’s ever seen, too, seeing as it’s been over a month since she saw Spencer last, she was a lot more pregnant now than she was with any of the other kids, when she saw their first positive tests it was after 1-2 weeks… right now she’s about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. 

She’s going to have 4 kids. 

They’re going to be a family of 6. 

They were catching up to the Simmons, slowly but surely… hopefully, this isn’t twins cause then they’d match up perfectly. 

She puts the test in the cabinet behind the mirror, knowing the kids can’t get into it so they’d never see it. They knew what it was, at least the older two did. Being 6 and almost 8, they remembered when she was pregnant with Luna in 2019. They had their dad’s memory after all. 

The kids are up and in her bed, the girls cuddled into each side of their brother as he holds their iPad in the middle, his legs crossed with his cute little toes moving to the music on his show. She found a cartoon Santa Clause series from the early 2000s and put it on for them, they have watched almost the whole first season in the last few days. It’s so cute seeing them so peaceful and happy together, getting excited for their favourite time of year. 

They’ve been sleeping in bed with her a lot without daddy being home. They wanted to call him the moment they woke up, but being in LA now meant they couldn’t. They didn’t understand at first, so she had to get out the globe from Spencer’s office and taught them about timezones and how the earth moves around the sun while rotating on an axis, making a 24-hour day.  

Holding her phone flashlight up, she pretended it was the sun in their very dark room (it was 6am.) they understood from then on that when daddy was on the other side of America, he was 3 hours behind them and probably still asleep, so they had to wait for him to wake up and call them.

“You guys hungry?” She asks as she walks back over to the bed. 

They all nod and scramble to pause their video so they can jump out of bed and race her down the stairs. They each get their choice between Eggos and scrambled eggs or cereal and fruit, she ends up making them all scrambles and waffles with some cut-up grapes and orange juice just to round it into a full meal. 

Thanks to an episode of the Waltons one night, the kids have started saying a sort of grace before every meal.

“Dear father, we miss you, we hope you’re having a good day in Los Angeles and that mommy lets us watch your interview show tomorrow,” Atlas leads. 

“And bring us back something cool,” Noelle teases with a smirk. 

“Can he hear us when we do this?” Luna whispers across the table to her big brother who just shrugs, having no clue what they’re doing, they just want to wish their dad a good day while he’s gone. 

She doesn’t have the heart to tell them that they say dear father as a way to talk to god, to bless their family and their food and insure that good things come to them… they weren’t a religious household in the slightest, but if the kids wanted to be spiritual in their own way and send a blessing out for their dad, who was she to stop them? 

They have little conversations with each other that just amaze her, she somehow created 3 amazing little geniuses with the biggest hearts to match. Much like her, Atlas was into dinosaurs for a while, he was often asking to come to work with her on weekends and snow days off from school, he would give anything to dig something up and learn about it all day. He collects rocks, he knows everything about space and the moon (which is just a big rock) and he plans to work at the Smithsonian one day too… just on the Air and Space side. 

And he probably will, seeing as he has his dad's genius brain after all. He’ll probably be able to get a Ph.D. or two by the time he’s 25. 

Noelle is more into learning how things work and move, she loves the cars movie franchise and thus all things with wheels. She’s been spending a lot of time with Henry and Michael, playing Tony Hawk games on the play station which caused them to build a skate ramp in the backyard while Will wasn’t looking and using her as the test dummy. 

She broke her arm in 2 places and the cast comes off next week, with just enough time for Spencer to come home and sign it before they cut it off. 

Luna, on the other hand, she wouldn’t be caught dead near a bike or anything that can get her dirty. She’s always been very meticulous, she learned fine motor skills long before she wanted to walk, which wasn’t helpful when babies also love putting things in their mouths. Spencer’s knowledge of CPR came in handy a few times, unfortunately. Now she’s 4 and her attention to detail is mainly spent on legos which she has learned don’t go in her nose, mouth, ears or anything thing that’s not lego branded… 

She has the LEGO art pieces that match the art at mom's work, they’re her favourite. She’s also started to draw a lot, she was probably going to be their artist. 

The 3 of them are so incredibly different yet so wondrously alike. They absorb knowledge like a sponge, they respect each other's talk time, and they butt heads often, but they never hate each other. Fights never last long. They end with hugs and apologies and understanding that they’re all learning how to be good people and mistakes are bound to happen. 

That was always their fear when they became parents; that their kids wouldn’t get along. You see, not having siblings meant that Y/N and Spencer didn’t know what it was like. From what they knew about JJ, she took her sister for granted till it was too late and wished every day that she still had her around. Then there’s Hotch, he loved his brother but they were so different and had such an age difference that now they never talk. 

They didn’t want that for their own kids. So seeing them so happy together, they were best friends and co-conspirators, 3 unstoppable forces that could band together within the blink of an eye… How was she going to add a 4th to their already perfect group without it disrupting everything?

“Are you guys excited for Aunt Laura to have her baby soon?” She cuts into the lull in their conversations, thinking that was a good segue. She wanted to know their thoughts on having another baby in the family without asking them outright. 

“I’m excited,” Luna answers with a sweet smile, “I want it to be a girl cousin.” 

“Me too,” Noelle agrees. “Mama, do they know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” 

“I’m not sure,” she genuinely didn’t know. “I think they’re keeping it a surprise.” 

“Like a present,” Luna says, often vocalizing every thought she had, as always. 

“Yeah… speaking of, on December first we’ll really start to celebrate, but what if we used this time while daddy is away to go get his Christmas presents?”  

“So we don’t have to worry about him seeing it?” Atlas completely understood and his smile told her he was on board. 

She nods, “yeah, we can go out today if you guys want?” 

They all chant a very enthusiastic yes, bouncing in their seats with excitement. 

They celebrate Christmas and a little bit of Hanukkah with Emily and Laura most years, the All-idays party was also coming up, which meant they all had to get another present for that… before they get dressed and ready to head out, she keeps them at the kitchen table with a piece of lined paper and asks them what kind of gifts they want to get for their family members. 

“Because Christmas is about a lot more than just a man in a red suit giving you guys things, it’s about showing everyone in your life how much you love them, as well,” mom explains, like every Christmas, but this year they seem to understand it a lot better.  

For white elephant they each had to bring in a gift, something that could be picked and stolen and loved by the person who eventually ends up with it. So they had to brainstorm some really good gift ideas that everyone else in their family group would like.

Each year the list of guests gets longer, this year there are 10 cousins, possibly 11 depending on when Laura goes into labour, and that’s not even including Y/N’s 3. Soon to be 4. 

Thats 15 BAU kids… 16 if you count Jack, but they’re not coming this year, perfectly happy back in Seattle with Hailey’s extended family. 

They needed to also consider all their aunts, uncles, and grandparents… it was so many people. Thank god uncle Dave had a big house. 

They get all bundled up for their trip to the mall and go over their rules of being out in public on the drive over. They have to always be touching the kart or holding each other's hands, they can’t walk away from Mommy even if they’re excited about something, they have to bring her to the excitement so she doesn’t lose them. And they know scary people do exist and not everyone out there is kind for good reasons. They’re hyper-vigilant, they stick together and they’re always rewarded with a sweet treat at the end of the day because of it. 

Spencer calls when they’re in the middle of the game store, shopping for the older kids, like Henry, Jake or David, getting them a new game for the switch, which everyone has. She has to decline the call cause the store is too loud and hectic, sending him a quick text saying they’re out right now and she’ll call back soon… but with so many things in her hands and 3 kids to watch over all alone. 

She forgets until they’re home later that night, after getting dinner at Mcdonald's in front of the TV, they’re watching Harry Potter for the first time when Daddy calls again. 

Atlas sees her phone light up with Spencer’s face behind the FaceTime caller ID, she’s in the kitchen cleaning ketchup off Noelle's cast, so he picks up for his mom. 

“Hi, daddy,” he brightens right up, Luna comes running to his side, shouting his name at him with excitement. 

“Hello munchkins, where have you been? Mama said she’d call me earlier and then she never did?” 

“We went out and then got McDonald's,” he turns the FaceTime around and shows the carpet picnic happening in front of the TV. “Mom is helping Noa get some ketchup off her cast, it fell out of her burger and landed right on it.” 

“We should sue McDonald's, then I guess,” he teases making them laugh. “Did you have fun at the mall? Did you get any gifts for Grandma and Grandpa?” 

“And for you but we can’t tell you what it is,” Atlas explains, “we promised mommy.” 

“Yeah, pinky promised,” Luna gives even more detail. “And you know about those…” 

“I’m so excited to open it, do you know how many days there are till Christmas left?” Spencer asks, they’ve been counting down since after Thanksgiving. 

They take the phone running into the kitchen, where the countdown exists on the fridge, showing him that there were 27 days left. 

“What are you— oh gosh, Spence, I’m sorry, I never called you back!” Y/N calls out when she realizes what the kids are doing with her phone. 

She’s drying off her hands before she lifts Noelle off the counter and back to the ground, Atlas hands her the phone and Spencer explains how it’s fine, he just wanted to check-in. They catch up in the kitchen for a few moments alone, only to go back out to the living room and finish dinner. The movie is paused, and they set him up on her laptop instead of the phone, the kids all sharing memories from the day with their dad… they missed him so much, they never wanted to hang up but it was bedtime.  

“I miss you, daddy,” Luna sighed, resting her head on her brother's shoulder so they could all fit in the frame. 

“I miss you, too, looney tunes,” he tries not to get too choked up. “Just a couple more days and then I’m coming home and I’m snuggling you all for hours, you’re going to be sick of me with how much love I’m going to give you.” 

She laughs because she knows it’s true, she’s heard him cry on the phone too many times about having, what he could only equate to mom guilt, about not being home with them again when they’re so used to it. He missed them. He missed watching them grow. He felt horrible that he wasn’t there for Noelle in the hospital when she got her cast, he missed Halloween, Thanksgiving and Henry's birthday… he felt horrible without them. 

But the kids have school tomorrow, so they can’t stay up late to talk to their daddy. He lets them go just in time to have a bath and head to bed, only to call back 2 hours later that for his alone time with his wife. She answers with her headphones in, all 3 kids in her bed on Spencers side, missing him too much to sleep alone, sound asleep all cuddled into each other already. 

They whisper their goodnights, he reminds her just how much he loves her and sends her a kiss all the way from the other side of America. “Did you get it?” He whispers, even though he didn’t have to. 

She nods, touching her cheek with a smile. “I love you, Spence… Thursday can’t come fast enough.”

[damnthosewords]

There are so many things with Petra that I might not do the same things. I might not make the same choices she makes. But I always respected her. She has, in her own way, fought for herself, and her family, and the people she cares about from the beginning.

[yeah-all-of-it]

I’ve had this headcanon for awhile now about Ian and Mickey starting a family and since I’m becoming more comfortable with writing, I thought I’d turn it into a fic. Enjoy!

A Life Changing Gift

“Debs, are you sure you understand what you’re offering right now?,” Ian questions, feeling a bit skeptical.

It is Debbie after all. Sometimes she’s perfectly pleasant and reasonable, other times she can be a raging bitch. But, she is his sister and he can’t imagine her offering something this monumental only to renege after they’ve gotten their hopes up. And she’s definitely mellowed out since they didn’t end up selling the house and she didn’t have to find a new place to live.

Ian and Debbie are sitting at the kitchen table in the Gallagher house. She had called him over to look at a cut Franny had gotten playing in the backyard. Wasn’t sure if it needed stitches and thought Ian could use his past medical training to check it out. In reality, it was barely a scratch. Ian should have known at that point Debbie was up to something, especially when she invited him to stay for coffee.

“Ian, I’ve been thinking a long time about this. Came up with the idea months ago but wanted to be completely sure before I said anything,” Debbie explains.

“Yeah, but, Debbie. This is fuckin’ huge. Think about how hard it’ll be on you-“

“I’ve already thought about all that shit, Ian. I’ve been through it before, you know. It’s really not that bad,” Debbie assures him.

Debbie seems sincere. Like she’s really considered every angle, every downside, upside, and in-between. He’s trying to keep his excitement reined in because he still has to convince Mickey that this is a good idea, which could be easier said than done.

“Listen,” Debbie says. “You don’t have to say anything now. Go home, talk it over with Mickey. You can even bring him over here and we can all talk about it if you want. No pressure.”

They both stand from the table and Ian goes to give her a hug.

“Wait, what the fuck are you doing?” Debbie jokes. “Thought you hated me and that we don’t do hugs anymore.” She laughs, and Ian knows she’s remembering how tense things were a year ago when she thought she’d be homeless and alone and she lashed out at all her siblings.

“Would you just fuckin’ come here?” Ian smiles warmly and holds his arms out.

She steps into his embrace and he just holds his little sister. Sometimes he still likes to imagine her as that sweet little girl that was always helping people. Always loving people, sometimes so much she would get hurt. It would kill him to see the tears in her eyes.

Sometimes, he sees glimpses of that caring little girl in the jaded woman she’s become. Like when she pretended to be the bride at his wedding; staying in the kitchen, missing the whole ceremony, just so he and Mickey could get married without any problems from the homophobes at the venue. And now, when she’s offering this selfless and life changing gift to them.

Ian whispers into her hair, hair that’s the same vibrant shade of red as his own, “I don’t even know what to say, Debs. Just… thank you.”

Debbie gives him one more big squeeze before pulling away. “You’re welcome. Now, go home and convince your husband to let me have his baby.”

———

“No fuckin’ way, NO fuckin’ way!” Mickey exclaims. “No way am I bangin’ your little sister.”

Mickey hops up on the counter, takes a long chug of the Old Style in his hand.

“Mick,” Ian sighs, leaning up against the opposite counter. “That’s not how it works. You would basically jerk off in a cup and she’d use a turkey baster, in the privacy of her own room,” he emphasizes,” to… place the sperm where they need to go.”

“Don’t you need like, a doctor or some shit to do that?” Mickey asks incredulously.

“Well, you can use a doctor but it’s expensive. This way is free,” Ian clarifies.

Mickey is clearly churning the idea around in his brain. Finally speaks.

“I thought we were just gonna like, find a fuckin’ kid that didn’t have parents or somethin’.”

“We can do that too, one day. Ya know, if we like the first one enough to do it again,” Ian says lightheartedly, slight grin, trying to calm Mickey.

Ian steps toward Mickey, placing his hips between Mickey’s knees, resting his hands on his thighs, rubbing softly.

Ian continues. “Think about it though, Mick. This baby would be us, you and me. It’s the closest we can get since we don’t exactly have the right stuff to do it on our own. He or she would have your DNA and, through Debbie, a little of mine too.”

Mickey beams at this, wraps his arms around his husband’s shoulders. “It would be kinda fun to have a little version of us runnin’ around,” Mickey admits. “You know a kid that’s part Milkovich and part Gallagher is bound to be a little shit though, right?” Mickey jokes, smiling at the thought.

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Ian quips, leaning in and planting a sweet kiss on his smiling husband’s lips.

Ian pulls back from the kiss and asks seriously, “So. Do you wanna do this?”

“Yeah. Yeah I do. What about you?” Mickey questions.

“Fuck yeah, I do. Let’s call Debs right now.”

———

“I’ve done a lot of research about this. You guys know it might not work on the first try right? Don’t want you to be frustrated or disappointed if it doesn’t work this month. Doesn’t mean it won’t ever work, but it can take a little time,” Debbie explains.

They are sitting in the Gallagher living room the day they are making their first attempt at insemination.

“Yeah, we know, Debs. Don’t worry,” Ian replies. “We’re not in a hurry.”

“Okay, good. Keeping your expectations reasonable is good,” she says. “I’ve also been tracking my basal body temperature and took an ovulation test, so today is my most fertile da-“

Mickey interrupts, “Thanks, Dr. Gallagher, but we don’t need all the gory details. Now where do I jerk off? Hey Ian, you gonna gimme a hand, man?” Mickey clicks his tongue and bounces his eyebrows playfully.

“Ugh, no gory details, right? Let’s just keep all the personal shit to ourselves okay?” Debbie requests.

“Yeah, this is already awkward enough. Don’t need to make it weirder,” Ian agrees and eyes Mickey scoldingly.

Ian and Mickey are forced to go into the bathroom because Lip and Tami live there now and their old bedroom is now Fred and the baby’s room. They’re not home but it would be uncomfortable seeing Fred’s little toddler bed, his stuffed animal collection staring at them while Mickey gets off. So, bathroom it is.

“Listen, Mickey,” Ian explains. “I’ll help, but we are keeping this clinical. Short and sweet. We can fuck at home later for fun; this needs to be done with a purpose, a goal. Debbie’s waiting.”

“Ugh, Jesus, man, why you gotta bring up Debbie? Doesn’t exactly make this process easier to think of her waiting in her room to squir-“

“Okaaayy, focus Mick,” Ian interrupts before that sentence goes any further.

Ian yanks down Mickey’s pants and gets to work. He knows exactly how Mickey likes it to make him come quickly. It works and Mickey finishes into the bulb of the turkey baster in record time.

Ian wipes off the edges and walks it to Debbie’s room, knocking on the door. She opens it just enough to stick her arm out and Ian places the bulb in her hand. Ian hears her say, “Uh, you guys can go home. I’ll text you later,” and shuts the door.

On their way back to the Westside, Ian’s phone dings. He picks it up and reads the text from Debbie out loud. “Transfer is complete.”

“What now?” Mickey asks.

“We wait,” Ian answers.

———

“It should have worked by now, right?” Mickey asks, an edge of concern in his voice. “I mean, it’s been almost 4 months. What if like, my fuckin’ swimmers don’t work or somethin’?”

Ian tries to calm Mickey down, rubbing his arm that’s slung across Ian’s belly. It’s midnight and they really should be asleep but Mickey’s spiraling over the whole surrogacy thing.

“Mick, this is normal. We knew it could take awhile. There’s no need to freak out yet,” Ian assures. “What’s all this about, anyway? All the worry.”

“Just… I know it took a long time for me to even wanna have kids. Then you had to convince me to do this shit, to be okay with Debbie carrying my baby. Fuck, that still sounds creepy as hell. But anyway, I know I wasn’t on board with everything at first, but now? Ian, I’m so fuckin’ excited to have a baby with you. To be a dad with you. It’s just hard to wait, that’s all. And then I think… what if it doesn’t happen? What if this whole plan just fuckin’ fails? Then what?”

“Then, we come up with another plan,” Ian assures. “I wanna raise kids with you too, Mickey, so fuckin’ much. I wanna give them the childhood we never got to have. I wanna take them to the beach with you, I want us to play blocks on the living room floor, and read bedtime stories together. All that shit. It’ll happen, Mickey. One way or another, we’ll make it happen.”

Ian snuggles Mickey closer, kisses him on the top of the head, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

They are woken up by Ian’s obnoxious ringtone at 6:00 am, well before they have to be up for work.

“Who the fuck is calling this goddamn early? Better be fuckin’ important,” Mickey grumbles while rubbing his eyes.

It’s Debbie.

“Hey, Debs!” Ian says with fake cheerfulness, still half asleep. “What’s up?”

“There’s two lines!” she screams on the other end of the phone.

“Okay?” Ian replies.

“There’s TWO lines!” she repeats, emphasizing the word two.

“I don’t know what the fuck that means, Debs. Two lines where?” Ian questions.

“On the pregnancy test, dipshit! It’s positive! I’m pregnant!” she yells.

Ian bolts upright in bed. Mickey grumbles “what the fuck” under his breath, eyes still half closed.

“Holy fuck! It’s positive?” Ian exclaims. “It worked?

Mickey’s up now too. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Debs! Thank you! I love you! I’ll call you back later!” Ian says, unable to hold in his excitement.

He hangs up the phone. Turns and looks at Mickey. “It worked. She’s pregnant,” Ian practically whispers, unable to believe it. Ian sees tears well up in Mickey’s eyes and, for only the second time Ian has ever witnessed, they spill out onto his cheeks.

———

“Damn, you look like a beached whale, Debbie,” Mickey observes.

Debbie gives him a dirty look but chooses to keep her mouth shut.

She’s a week past her due date so they are at the clinic today to make sure everything is good. Debbie is up on the table and Ian and Mickey are sitting in the two available chairs when the doctor comes in.

“Hi, Debbie! Hi, Dads!” she says cheerfully. “So we are going to measure your belly and do a quick ultrasound just to make sure your amniotic fluid looks good.” Mickey grimaces at the term “amniotic fluid”. “I’ll have her back in a jiffy, guys!” the doctor says as she whisks Debbie out of the room.

They spent the last 6 months getting everything they needed for their new baby. Tami even threw them a shower where they got clothes, bottles, a swing, a carseat, and about a billion diapers. They decorated the nursery in light gray bedding with tiny white stars. Gender neutral because they want to be surprised. They have everything ready, all they need is the baby who is taking its sweet time.

Around 20 minutes has passed when the doctor pokes her head in the door.

“Sooo, I have some news. Debbie’s water broke while we were doing her ultrasound and her contractions started coming really fast. From what I’ve been told, her first delivery was pretty quick so we’re transporting her to the hospital just down the road, just to be safe. You are welcome to head over there now. I will be delivering so I’ll see you guys there!” and her head pops out as quickly as it appeared.

Ian and Mickey just look at each other, stunned. Finally Mickey regains his senses and breaks the silence. “Well, let’s fuckin’ go!”

They finally make it to the OB floor after a couple wrong turns inside the hospital. A nurse points them to Debbie’s room and they walk in when she’s in the middle of a pretty intense contraction. Once it subsides, she greets them and informs the epidural is on its way.

Once it’s been administered and Debbie is blissfully pain free, she asks, “Do you guys want to be in the delivery room?”

They both look at each other. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ian replies.

“Fuck, no,” Mickey says. “I don’t wanna see that shit.”

“Mick, you don’t have to watch. We can stand up by her head. Hold her hand. Be supportive since she’s bringing our baby into this world.” Ian turns to Debbie. “Are you sure you don’t mind? We understand if you want to keep things private.”

“Ian. I gave birth to Franny on our kitchen table in front of… like, everyone. Kev saw my vagina. V saw my vagina. Fuckin’ Sean saw my vagina. Trust me, I don’t care if you two are in the room.”

Ian looks at Mickey. “Fuck… fine. We can be in there,” Mickey relents.

A nurse comes in to check Debbie and informs her she’s 100% effaced and 10cm dilated. It’s go time. Things move at a quick pace after that. More nurses come in, turning on extra lights, bringing in supplies, wheeling in the heated bassinet.

Ian and Mickey stand side by side to Debbie’s left, Ian holding her hand, while she pushes. It’s fast. She only pushes for ten minutes before they hear cries and the doctor’s holding the baby in her hands, declaring, “it’s a girl!”

The next thing they know, a nurse is throwing a clean blanket over Mickey’s chest, and another nurse walks over and places the baby, his daughter, in his arms, blood, vernix, and all. Ian expects him to be grossed out but Mickey just stares in awe at this beautiful baby. This baby that looks like him in the face, but has a head of red hair.

Ian steps up to Mickey and wraps an arm around his shoulders, placing his other under Mickey’s arms that are holding their daughter. There is not a dry eye in the room. Ian and Mickey are crying, Debbie is crying, even the doctor and nurses are crying.

The next hour or so is spent getting the baby, and Debbie, cleaned up and dressed. They take the baby and run the normal tests and give her a vitamin k shot.

Once Debbie is in a room, the nurse brings the baby in to her dads. Ian sits in the rocking chair snuggling her while she sleeps and Mickey is right next to them.

Debbie just gazes at this new little family from her spot in bed. “So,” she finally says. “What are you naming her?”

Ian and Mickey just smile at each other before Ian responds, “Debbie, meet Margaret Laura Gallagher-Milkovich. Maggie for short.”

Debbie’s eyes tear up. “You guys gave her my middle name?”

Mickey surprisingly fields this question. “We wanted her to be named after the person that’s responsible for her bein’ here. For helping’ create her for us. I know I give you a lotta shit, but I love ya, and I appreciate the fuck outta you, Debbie.”

“Aww, Mickey, I love yo-“ she begins before being interrupted.

“Don’t get fuckin’ used to it. I’m emotional today,” he snaps with feigned grumpiness. Then smiles at her.

They let Debbie snuggle her for a bit before being released by the pediatrician to take her home. Thankfully they had already installed the infant seat in their car so they were prepared.

They walk through the door of their apartment 30 minutes later. Ian sets the carrier down and picks the baby up out of it, snuggling her tiny body to his chest before passing her off to Mickey.

“I’m not sure what you were so worried about, you’re a natural, Mickey,” Ian says as he gazes at his handsome husband tenderly cradling their beautiful baby girl.

They walk over to the sofa and sit down, thinking about the whirlwind of a day. Not knowing when they got up this morning to take Debbie to the clinic that by evening, they’d be holding their daughter in their arms.

Ian wraps Mickey’s shoulders with his arm, places his hand on their swaddled baby and says, “Welcome home, Maggie Gallagher-Milkovich. Your dads love you so much.”

[thegreatshippingwar]

Was it worth it

Summary: Based on the movie "Don't breathe" But with Yandere Jack Morrison/ soldier 76

Warnings: Rape, death (not you), murder, swearing, impregnation, messed up logic, blackmail

You remember your first meeting with him, it was pleasant. He was a nice blind ex military man who had just moved after the death of both of his children. Rumour said it was a drunk driver, but you didn't want to preye on anyone's trauma. When you first interacted with him it was when you had made him a house warming give the day after he moved in. It was an apple pie, you figured nothing could go wrong with apple pie. Your Parent(s) had said it was rude not to give a welcoming gift to your neighbour, it was a bit old fashion but you didn't mind. 

The apple pie was warm to the touch as you knocked on Mr Morrison's door.  It didn't take long for the man with white hair and red glasses to open the door. "Good Morning sir, My name is (Y/N) (Y/L) and I live next door." You realized quickly it was maybe best to say the number so he knew which side. "(N/H). Anyway I baked an apple pie here to welcome you to the neighbourhood. I hope you like apple pie?" You started to get nervous he was handsome. Scars litter his face and he was buff for an old dude. You started to blush thinking about him working out trying to keep fit. You pulled yourself out of your fantasy quickly as you realised he probably had a wife.

"It smells delicious." His voice made your heart jump it was smooth but had a rough undertone. "I'm surprised though not many people welcome new neighbours these days." He shifted on his feet before holding a hand out in your direction. "Especially someone so young."

You giggled, hoping to giggle away your nerves as you handed him the pie. "You're right with that. But I guess I'm just old fashioned." 

Mr. Morrison was stoked to have you for a neighbour not that you knew. He thought you voice was angel like, he could listen to it all day. So he quickly tapped his red glasses to unblock his vision. He was using the glasses for training and to appear to be a weak blind man to be less suspicious. Looking at your hair looked smoothed to the touch. You were Beautiful he thought. Not to mention you said you enjoyed the old fashioned ways, something tightened below and Jack had to ignore for the sake of continuing the conversation. When you handed him the pie he felt your soft hand brush against his. 

A cold shiver went up both your spines, Jack mumbled something that you couldn't hear. "I hope you enjoy, and if you need anything I'm just next door."

Jack could think of many things he could need you for, one included you on the floor right now letting him fuck you. He sighed knowing a pretty thing like you probably had someone who would take care of you. Hell if Jack was younger or not pretending to be blind he would absolutely have pouched on the opportunity to care for you. "I'll do that then."

_______________________________________________________________________________

Months had passed since Mr Morrison had first moved in and other than his dog's loud dinner bell it was peaceful. You only visited a few times mostly to bring him some food if you made too much, which he appreciated. You enjoyed the small moments with Mr Morrison despite it feeling like you would prefer him to your current boyfriend. You seemed to be comparing them a lot and you all too quickly thought Mr Morrison was a better man in general.

Andy wasn't a bad boyfriend but you did question his choice of friends. You knew two of his friends were low key thieves that stole from houses. But they never took too much Andy had said. Only enough to survive since their families kicked them out. You felt sorry for the two but all ways had a feeling there was more to the story then they let you believe. 

After many days deciding where or not to break up with Andy you decided you could do better. Besides, you didn't want to involve yourself in what his friends were doing. They always seemed to be up to something. It would be quick and hopefully he would move on. 

You were trusting, Mr Morrison had said so as well. When you broke up with Andy he did not take it well. He yelled and screamed and begged and when that didn't work he blackmailed you. You don't know when he took it all you knew was disgust. He had take a photo of you naked which was weird since you hadn't even had sex with him yet. 

You were scared and when you asked what he wanted your heart sank. He wanted you to help him and his friends rob Mr Morrison. He figured you would be good at cracking the safe he had as you had shown off at a party when you met him that you could crack nearly and safely. You wished you hadn't learnt that skill, you wished you hadn't fallen for his tricks. Andy just wanted you to get money. 

You felt physically sick but once he said he could tarnish your clean record you caved. He threatens not only the naked pictures but photoshop pictures of you doing drugs. So you agreed, despite how nice Mr Morrison was you had no choice. You were too trusting. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

Entering the house was harder than anyone of the four of you thought. Ken who had got a spare key to Mr Morrison's house somehow was deemed useless immediately as there were more locks and keys then the one Ken stole. So Hugo had to pick each lock carefully. Andy had told you that Mr Morrison had well over $500,000 because of the drunk driver killing his kid. Andy had told you that the drunk driver had killed Mr Morrison's wife and unborn child and in order to get out of jail their parents paid a lot of money to the court and Mr Morrison. 

You feel worse knowing you were robbing Mr Morrison because that accident landed him with money. But it was too late to back out once you were in. "Take off your shoes they'll make to much notice." Ken whispered, "If his is blind his hearing will be better."

The whole group take off your shoes and leave them by the back door. You were especially quiet. Hugo walks up stairs toward Mr Morrison's bedroom. He has a hand made sleeping gas bottle ready to puncture and gas Morrison room. You see Hugo disappear as everyone waits in the lounge room for him. After about 2 minutes he returns. "All good?" Andy asks while whispering.

"Yeah, just he seemed to toss and turn once I punctured the bottle. But he's locked in the room now with the gas."

You don't say a word as Hugo and Ken walk straight towards the basement door that has a lock on it. Hugo gets out his lock and picks again and starts to unlock the door only for Morrison to show up on the staircase. Morrison is wearing his cloudy looking red visor glasses, a tank top and some sweatpants. He heads to the Lounge room,  Hugo looks to the group and pulls out a gun. "What are you doing here?" Morrison tills his head a little as you cover your mouth with your hands. You can't be caught now.

"I just walked in dude, I might have had too much to drink." Morrison steps closer to Hugo and Hugo panics shooting near him, "Stay back and I won't hurt you." But Morrison does the opposite and moves quickly towards Hugo. Before he can even shoot Morrison disarms him and holds the gun in his hand.

You stand frozen as Morrison points the gun in Hugo's face and calmly asks. "Who else is with you?" Ken bolts for the door only for Morrison to hear him and shoot him straight in the head. You want to cry, scream anything but you force yourself to be quiet. Hugo apparently didn't know that Ken was most definitely dead. 

"Just me and my buddy." Hugo is staring at you, just before the guns goes off in his head. You and Andy stay quite. Morrison rushes to the front door and locks everything before moving to the back you and Andy move upstairs. You move into his study, your shaking but you manage to keep yourself quite. Your crush just murderer two people, he was worse than Andy. 

Andy points to the desk which has a safe on it. He moves towards you. "Open it, we have time to get it and leave." 

"He just killed two people what if." You cut your whispers short, as Andy points a gun at you. "Okay," tears fall silently as you open the safe to find at least $5,000 in there. You help Andy pack his bag with it. 

"I bet there is more in the basement," Andy's greedy eyes stare at you before opening the study door silently. "Besides there is probably a window you can exit from there."

You follow slowly carefully, scared to make a single sound. You make it to the lounge room, seeing Morrison dragging Ken's body into his mud room near the back door. When he comes back Andy accidently makes a squeak against the wooden floor. Morrison stares towards you both. His red cloudy visor seemed to glow in the dark room. You steady your breath as he walks closer. Then you hear Hugo's phone go off, startling Morrison so much he shots it. Silence fills the air as Morrison sighs before grabbing Hugo's body and moving it. 

Once he moves out of the room you both head to the basement. A dim light fills the basement, and you move quickly down the stairs. The room is filled with shelves, most of the shelves have boxes on them or file-like books. You move towards the dim light to find a fridge with a few benches around. There is a turkey baster on the left side of the fridge. 

While you investigate the fridge Andy is looking at the shelves. "What the fuck?" Andy whispers but you're too busy opening the fridge. A strange liquid in a large container is the only thing in there. Andy moves to your side, " I'm finding a lot of military stuff, but also baby books? What the hell does he want with that." You point to the fridge container and Andy shuggs. 

You decide to move towards this open space light area before you notice the lights turn on in the basement. You freeze before you stop. The lights are hanging over this Woman who is lunging at you. She is in a patted semi room and she has a harnse like a dog on her. Tears are falling down her face and you move your way towards her.

___________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile

Jack was having a bad night, he has to get rid of two bodies. Two idiot robbers decided to try and rob him. Although he was annoyed at first he's glad now having got to experience to kill while blind folded. He can't wait to rub it in Reyes face that he can kill with his eyes closed. But knowing Reyes he might just train himself to do the same. 

Cleaning up the bodies was the worst, god he wishes he was doing anything else. Thoughts of you smiling at him thanking him for protecting the neighbourhood and then giving him a special reward help him get the job done quicker. This wasn't the only time he used you to help him through his tasks. He honestly wished you'd help him normally, but you were always distant. Maybe it was your stupid boyfriends fault, god he hated the man. He would enjoy killing him the second he got a chance.  

Jack heads to the back door making sure it's locked, before tripping on a shoe. Jack freezes before bending down and feeling around four pairs. Which means, Jack grabs one of his shotguns and heads to the basement. He hopes they didn't set the bitch free. Jack then hears the bell ringing from down stairs. "God damn it"

_______________________________________________________________________________

You set her free of her harness using a knife and she gives Andy a newspaper clipping. Andy's face falls as he reads. You pull off her gag and she silently weeps into your shirt. She clings to you before steading her words. "He said since I killed his kid I needed to replace it. He....he.....he," She is staring towards the fridge and turkey baster. 

You feel sick but you pat her head before whispering, "Lets go quickly." Andy nods his head, apparently he didn't want to look for any more money. You pull her out of the room only for a bell to ring, you look behind her and see her leg is still tied to a wire. You assume pulling the wire pulls the bell. You quickly pull out your knife as her face pails. Once you cut it you all rush for the basement door. 

A shotgun sounds and you become imobie as you watch the girl fall over. Andy grabs your arm and heads back towards the shelves. Morrison carefully checks the girl's body. "Shit," Morrison seems pissed. "All that wasted effort." You watch him tap his glasses and the cloudiness seems to clear. Andy is hiding you both behind some shelves. "One of you is a women right?" You hold Andy's shoulder tightly. "How about you give me the woman and you can go free?"

Morrison is moving up and down the shelves, his posture has changed. He doesn't seem to need to touch anything with his hands. He's different. "I could just kill you both, got plenty of women nearby to replace that bitch." Jack thinks of you, god he wishes he could tie you to him.  

Morrison reaches for a remote in his pocket and presses a button and all the light gets out. Andy grabs out his phone and sets the volume to max, he then plays a video from his phone and throws it across the room. It just so happened to be a video of you singing a nursery rhyme. You both hear Morrison let out an audible groan. 

"Fuck," Jack regonises that voice anywhere, "(Y/N) boyfriend right?" God, Andy was dumb. "I think I'll enjoy killing you and your side whore." The video ends just as Morrison picks it up, you are slowly getting to the stair when another video plays. 

"Fine, I'll do it." Your voice again plays, "Just don't, Don't show anyone those photos"

"Got it, wouldn't want (Y/N)'s reputation ruined by false rumors and a nude." Andy's voice was mocking. But you could hear your tears clearly even with the phone's shitty quality. Morrison all but grows before turning the phone off. 

"You forced yourself on her." Jack was pissed, apparently she hadn't touched the dickless jackass sexually so he was forcing her. Jack was pissed. Jacke turned the light back on. Cat and mouse was over. He wanted him dead. 

Morrison rushed over to where your legs were. The shelves may have hidden your bodies but not your feet. You ran for the stair as did Andy, but Andy wasn't fast enough as you heard him scream in pain. "Fuck," You didn't look back and contunid running for the stairs only for an arm to grab your leg and pull you uside down. Your head was facing his knees as you wiggled and started crying. Your whimpers filled the room, but you stopped the second you heard Morrison groan. You looked up at him and noticed his hard on. You wanted to scream but when you saw his face you did otherwise. He was holding his other hand over his mouth. He seemed to be mumbling something, you could see a slight blush on his face.

You panicked, "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. He made me. He said...he said....'' Your rambles were cute. It seemed to ground Jack, so that's what the black mail was for. 

"Have you had sex with him?" Jack needed answers.

"I...I..." You fumble over words, "No, we never..." 

Jack pulls you right side up and smiles, "good." He walks over to the padded semi room and gently puts you down in the middle. You notice Andy moaning as he crawls to the staircase, his legs are bleeding. Morrison pulls out a pistol and shoots Andy quick in the head, seemingly too busy to deal with him. He walks over to one of the selves and grabs a box to bring over. You know you should run but you're scared. Plus you know you won't make it to the door, Morrison is too fast and strong. 

Jack opens the box and reveals a brand new harness. He brings the harness closer and you move away backing up into the room. "Come now sweetheart don't be difficult." He slowly approach low to the ground, little approaching a rabbit. "Please sweetheart," He gently grabs your arm and you freeze. You keep screaming at you body to move to run but you can't. "That's it" He all but coos in your ear as he starts to put the harness on you. "That's my good girl." 

Jack clips in the locks and chains making sure you won't be able to escape. He looks down at your fearful eyes. They all but glow a bright (Y/E) in the light of the room. He can't wait, he thought he could but not anymore. He slowly moves to a pulley lever and somehow you find yourself in the air off the floor. 

"You know she killed my kid right? I had always wanted a family and the 'wife' was expensive. I only wished for the kid to make it but my kid was killed by that 'bitch'." He hisses 'bitch' like she was poison on his tongue. "I decided she would have to give me a kid to make up for the one she killed." He looks over to the turkey baster. "I never touched her, never wanted to. But now she's dead." He looks you in the eyes and you notice he somehow got scissors and you freak out. You wiggle as hard as you can. "I'm glad he forced you to rob me. Do you know why?" You refuse to speak and keep wiggling trying to get out of the harness. "Baby," His hands are on your ass rubbing it slowly, tenderly. "When I ask a question I want you to answer." The threat was clear, so you swallow your pride. 

"Why?" More silent tears, 

"I wanted you, and now I have a good reason to keep you chained to my side. Don't worry too much once I trust you we can have you out of the basement. Once we move of course." His hand moves and he brings the scissors to the front of your pants. "But let's start by making a family." You wanted to scream but only a squeak came out of your mouth as he removed your pants with the scissors. "Adorable," He chuckled before moving to cut your shirt off. 

"Please," He stops for a second, "stop." Jack leans forward pulling your hips towards his painfully erect clothed cock. He hums before kissing your forehead. 

"Don't worry baby, I'll be gentle." He smooth voice runs a chill down your spine. God no, you wanted to wiggle and you tried but his voice stops you. "Baby, stop trying to ryell me up I won't hold back otherwise." 

Jack starts with your clit, rubbing it till you start squeaking and moaning. He enjoys himself too much seeing you like this. He knows he's going to be addicted to this, to you. But he can't help it, he starts kissing your lips hoping to comfort you a little. He all but melts into the kiss, it was just so sweet and soft. 

You feel fireworks at his kiss, you hated this you kept telling yourself. You didn't want this, but the longer he stayed there kissing you and playing with your clit the more your reason seemed to slip. You decided to just enjoy it and worry later. 

Jack waited until you relaxed a little before entering a finger in your hole. He groaned into your ear as he did it slowly. You were so tight, he was a little worried. He started pushing it in and out and you started falling apart moaning louder and crying less. Jack wanted to enter you now, but he had to be patient. "Please?" Your lusted out look broke his patients. 

"Sorry princess." Jack pulled his finger out and quickly stripped. He then aligned his penis in front of your hole. His left arm wrapped around your waist as he moved his mouth next to your eye. His right hand took off his glasses. Beautiful blue eyes greeted you with lust, you looked away towards his member. His dick was big, that you knew. He dick's was leaking and the veins looked angry. His right hand stabled his dick as he slowly pushed in, moaning into your ears. You screamed it was painful, he was too big and you weren't prepared. You started screaming for him to stop, that he was a liar, anything you could to get him to stop but he didn't listen. At least not till he was all the way into you. "Good girl, good job princess. Such a good girl for daddy." 

You kept crying as he kept praising you. You learnt quickly that Morrison was just going to do whatever he wanted without your consent. After a little bit Jack decided to grab your waist with both arms and slowly push out. He hissed as he pulled out your tight warm hole was too welcoming, too comfortable, it was heaven. He had to get back in the moment he was out. He started to fuck you faster and your screams didn't stop him or put him off. He honestly loved your screams although he wished you were moaning instead. So Jack moved his right hand to your clit as he managed to wrap his left arm around your body to keep you close. Your tits kept rubbing against his chest as he pounded into you. 

Soon enough once you felt your clit being rubbed you began to moan. Pleasure and pain where combining and god you just wished it over. You were beginning to enjoy this horrible experience. Jack's lips found yours again and this time his tongue invaded your mouth. You thought he might slow down his pace but no. He was able to kiss you, rub you just right and pound into you. "Please," You all but moaned as you realise the white tingling feeling builting to your climax. Jack was all too happy to pick up the pace. You felt bruises forming on your hips with how he was gripping them. 

"come on baby, Princess cum, cum on my fat cock." His speed seemed to stagger, "Cum on daddy's cock." You feel His cock twitch inside you just before your overwhelmed and moan as you cum. You pussy tightens around Jack and he can't hold back, "(Y/N)" He growls as his warm sperm spills into your abused hole. He pants on top of you for awhile before calming down. 

"Finally I have my perfect family."

[dgcatanisiri]

Aside from the fuckery of it being the romance with the least consideration put in to it, the fuckery of intentionally making it that the gay romance has the least content and connection to the plot, the fuckery of giving the gay guy of getting a story where he is reduced to a turkey baster in his own story, so a woman can use him to get pregnant...

It really grates that, if this storyline had been centered on a woman, this all would have been so blatantly obvious of a problem that the story would never have made it out of peer review, if written in the first place. 

Gil is being pressured to have children. Like, that is what Jill is doing - he introduces us to the concept of Jill as a character by bringing up that she gives him grief about how he “makes her job harder,” because he’s not going to have kids the natural way. 

Which, y’know, is bullshit period, if a gay person wants to have children, then by definition, they would have to get some kind of specialist involved, unless they adopt (and I don’t feel like, given how the Initiative was set up, there really would be any collection of minors ready for adoption, at least at this point in the timeline of the Initiative). 

And this comes up multiple times. Enough that, if I weren’t constrained by the dialogue options of the game, I’d ABSOLUTELY be pointing out that... You don’t introduce someone who means the world to you with language like this, that makes them come across as a bully, rather than a friend. Even if you “have that kind of friendship,” it’s still more of a sign of subconscious recognition that this is not right, rather than a showing of how this matters. 

That he does this reads as a cry for help. Except... the writing shows no understanding of this. We get that singular questioning of the relationship, then never picks this back up. 

Then there’s the fact that Gil actually does say that she would start harassing Ryder about having kids, and it’s played for laughs. Like, this doesn’t matter if it’s meant as a joke, if that’s something you’re going to lead off with to a total stranger... THAT’S INVASIVE! You don’t attack people, particularly total strangers, about their reproductive choices, no matter the situation.

Like, the fact that the Initiative is a colonization effort... That really IS beside the point in all of this. Because you talk about colonizing the stars of a distant galaxy, uprooting and abandoning the life you have, taking a cryo-sleep that lasts centuries... The people you’re attracting to this effort are going to be full of adventurous types with a penchant for wanderlust. For people who are more invested in going to the places no one has ever been or seen, rather than settling down and having kids. There will be plenty of that, sure, but any effort like this ABSOLUTELY takes the time to build in a buffer so that those who won’t settle down don’t have that pressure. 

The Initiative is supposed to have 100,000 people who made the journey, with at least 20,000 humans on Ark Hyperion, with presumably similar numbers for the other arks and the Nexus. According to a quick Google search, the minimum population for a viable population growth, before genetic issues from inbreeding start settling in, is just over 4000. And ME2 made a big deal that humanity had the greatest genetic variation in the galaxy (which is bullshit science, admittedly, evidence exists that humanity had some kind of genetic bottleneck that nearly wiped out our species thousands of years ago, BUT I’m working with the in-universe framework, so...). Either way, that ABSOLUTELY guarantees that there’s enough of a buffer that no one must feel mandated to have children.

So, realistically... I can ONLY see Gil - and ONLY Gil - getting this storyline in the name of appeasing homophobes, who were all “why were they allowing gay people to come along?” after the game was announced. An argument that was always ALWAYS meant in bad faith - it was coming from people who didn’t want any kind of homosexuality in their video games. 

And those people were the ones who BioWare sought to give the time of day when they wrote this storyline. 

That’s the part about all of this that really does hurt the most. That BioWare looked at portraying gay people through the lens of the homophobes.

[blackmissfrizzle]

Worth It- Pt 4

The Prelude- Part 1- Part 2- Part 3

Summary: The reader bumps into Marcel after their big argument

Characters: Marcel x black!reader, Sean (OMC) x black!reader

Warnings: Language but what’s new?

A/N: I’m back with our love Marcel! Finally!!!! I hope y’all enjoy.

“Man, you fucked up.” Vincent told a pissed off Marcel.

“Big time.” Haley emphasized.

Marcel looked from his glass of whiskey to glare at Vincent and Haley. They weren’t helping him feel any better. It’s been days since he saw or talk to you since the incident with Rebekah and your mom.

“Drowning our sorrows, are we?” Klaus came up from behind and clapped Marcel’s shoulder.

“The only sorrows that are drowning are Marcel’s. We’re just reminding him of how bad he messed up.” Haley said.

“What are you even doing here?” Marcel asked her.

“Waiting on some friends,” and on cue, Cami showed up and she left the three men.

“The little wolf is right, you know?”

Marcel eyed Klaus curiously. “So, you’re ok that my girlfriend almost killed your sister?”

Klaus shrugged his shoulders and took a seat. “She’s still your girlfriend? And dear Marcellus, Rebekah knew the risks. It was fitting for her to learn that lesson. Y/N is a precious gem. If I were you, I would’ve given her the world.” Klaus paused and then leaned towards Marcel. “Maybe I’ll have the chance now.”

Right when Marcel was about to throttle Klaus, you walked in. It had been days since Marcel seen you, heard you, or smell you; your presence was a sensory overload. Especially with the outfit you had on. He guessed Rousseau’s is your first stop for a night out, because you wore a black and tan corset crop top, black ripped shorts, and thigh high boots.

You were there with your sister and friends, and y’all met up with Cami and Haley. Once you got settled, Marcel got up and was about to walk to you, but Vincent stopped him. “Bad idea, Marcel.”

Marcel snatched his hand back. “That’s my girlfriend and I’m gonna talk to her.”

All talking ceased at your table when they saw Marcel approach you. His hand touch your exposed shoulder and you were pissed at how he affected you.

“Can I speak to you alone?”

Bianca ruined any chance of you answering. “Hell no! You think she gon talk to you after how you did our momma? Over my dead body!” Bianca was standing up and you had to push her down to her seat.

“Chill, B.” Turning back to Marcel, you said, “Yeah, we can talk for a bit.”

Marcel motioned you to walk in front him and he followed you to the back patio. “You look beautiful tonight.” Marcel said trying to fill up the awkward silence.

“What do you want, Marcel?” You didn’t have time to play nice with him nor did you want to.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve never stood up for Rebekah like that. I think I let my feelings about how your parents disapprove of us cloud my judgement, but that’s not an excuse.”

Two sides of your brain were fighting. The rational side said, “That’s reasonable. You even have beef with your parents, because of how they talked about Marcel.” The petty side was saying, “Nah, fuck that nigga and the bitch he let put hands on your momma.”

“Which side is winning?” Marcel joked, knowing you always had to fight your pettiness.

“I don’t know. It seems like Petty Y/N really wants to come out. She thinks she’s hearing a lot of apologies from you lately but seeing no action behind them.”

“Y/N, I-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but Y/N you better get inside because you-know-who is here.” Haley interrupted, her eyes pointing towards Sean.

Although, Rousseau’s was open to all supernatural beings, it was known to be Marcel’s spot for him and his vampires with only a few witches allowed to come, and Sean and his witches weren’t on that list.

“Stay here. I’ll get him to leave.” You had to put your hands against his firm chest to stop Marcel from going in and causing a scene.

Lust filled Sean’s eyes as you approached him. All you felt was his gaze roaming your body and you felt a tinge of guilt for the lust running through you.

Soon as you were in arm’s reach, Sean grabbed the back of your neck and descended his lips onto yours. His kiss was different from Marcel’s, but it was enjoyable, more possessive, rougher, and nastier. His hands snaked down your bottom and he gripped your ass. “You goin’ to stop playing games and let me eat that fat pussy?” He whispered into your ear.

“Damn, I think I’m wet,” Bianca mumbled off to the side, voicing your exact thoughts.

You felt a tug on your wrist, and it was Diego. He probably thought he was helping his friend, but that only was going to cause the scene you were trying to avoid.

One of Sean’s friends pushed Diego off you and then suddenly Marcel and Sean were in a face-off. This had to end before it got ugly. “Boys let’s not do this here,” you say, getting in between the two.

Neither one paid any attention to you, so you pulled Sean out while Haley, a true godsend distracted Marcel.

“What the hell was that, Sean?” You slapped him for starting all that drama.

He gripped your wrist and pointed a finger in your face. “I ain’t Marcel, so that’s the last time you’ll put your hands on me.”

You snatched your wrist back and paced back and forth the sidewalk. If you didn’t figure out something soon, those two niggas will kill each other.

“Damn, cher. I got a way for you to get rid of all that nervous energy,” Sean gripped your hips and pulled you back towards him.

Sean kissed the side of your neck and chanted a simple spell to help you calm down. The only thing is that you weren’t sure you wanted to calm down.

It took all of your energy to pull away from him, but you did. “Sean, you can’t be kissing me. Especially in front of Marcel and in his fucking hangout spot!”

Sean couldn’t understand why you were so stuck on Marcel. He definitely didn’t treat you right. Getting pissed off at your devotion to Marcel, Sean backed you into the wall and leaned dangerously close to your face to the point you could smell his minty gum. “Really? Ain’t you single now?”

Shit, he had you there. But you couldn’t answer the question. You and Marcel never verbally said it was over, you just walked out on him.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you contemplated your answer. You couldn’t come up with an answer, so dipped into Rousseau’s to ask a waiting Marcel a quick question.

“No,” was the only word Marcel said when he saw you.

“You don’t even know what I was about to ask.” You whispered yelled at him.

“You were gonna ask if you’re single and the answer is no. We’re just going through a rough patch.” Marcel stared you down, daring you to challenge him.

Turning on your heels you walked away from him angrily. Damn vampire hearing, you thought.

Patiently waiting for you, Sean scrolled through his phone. “Well?”

“It’s complicated.” You answered.

Sean rolled his eyes at you and asked, “What’s so complicated about ending a relationship with someone who makes you a second option?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Sean? You’re just some random ass nigga that my parents think I should marry! Do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone!” You stomped away from him. Sean really pissed you off and if you were honest to yourself, which you didn’t want to be, Sean was telling you the truth. In the back of your mind, you were asking yourself the same question.

Catching up to you, Sean twisted your hips so you could face him. “Cher, you know I’m telling the truth. Lemme ask you something: can he give you you a family?”

Unbeknownst to you or Sean, Marcel slipped out the bar and was eavesdropping on your conversation. The talk about kids never came up, so Marcel never knew how you felt about becoming a parent.

“You know he can’t.”

“Do you want them? Because I can give you some.”

“So can a turkey baster.”

Sean chuckled to himself. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t want any.” Sean’s smile dropped at your admission. When he asked you that, he just knew you were gonna say yes. What woman doesn’t want kids? “So, besides your dick, what else do you have to offer?”

The switch up was almost immediate. “That vamp got you turned out like that? Pathetic. What if you change your mind?” Sean scoffed.

Another nigga who can’t handle rejection, what a shame, you thought. “What’s pathetic is you not being able to take no for answer. And if and that’s a big if, I change my mind. There’s this thing call adoption. Now do me a favor and run along before I melt your brain.” You smiled up at him, but it was anything but genuine.

Usually that did the trick and had men running along, but Sean stood there smiling to himself. The only other person who didn’t run in fear from you was Marcel. How did you end up being the source of attraction for two stubborn niggas?

“My bad. I let my anger get the best of me. Just know that I just don’t want you because our families want us together. I like you, Y/N. I like what you do for our community, I like that you’re not afraid to break the rules, I like that pretty ass smile of yours, and so much more. Before you make a decision, I want you to know that you’ll never doubt your place in my life. You’ll always be number one, cher.”

Sean tried to give you a kiss, but you turned your head and he kissed your temple. Knowing his presence was no longer wanted Sean walked away hoping you would make the smart decision.

Coming out from his hiding spot, Marcel got into your line of vision. The two of you just stared at each other for awhile without saying anything.

Marcel’s first step towards you made you speak up. “Me turning him down has nothing to do with us. Marcellus, I love you with all my heart, but you got some shit to fix. And until that’s done, I don’t know where we stand.”

Marcel said nothing. He just took it all in. Arguing with you would get him nowhere. So, he gave you a kiss and whispered, “I’ll be better.” Then he disappeared, leaving you alone, determined to get you back before Sean could carve a spot in your heart.

Tags: @twistedcharismaaa​ @l-auteuse​ @nightgirl250​ @cocooned-butterfly​ @thickemadame​ @artsninspo​ @titty-teetee​ @crystalgoddess00​ @pananegra​ @princessshanae14​ @rbhp @brownsugerhippy​

[queen--kenobi]

Turkey baster? 💀💀💀

Well...

Spoilers for Don't Breathe and massive rape tw

The whole plot is the main people try to rob a blind guy. He got a shit ton of money from a settlement after a rich lady killed his daughter in a car crash. Well, the man apparently decided that wasn't enough. The main characters find the woman who killed his daughter tied up in the basement. He basically says that since she killed his daughter, it's only fair that she give him a new one...

Yeah.

But it gets worse. See he claims he's not a rapist because he didn't actually penetrate her himself. He fills up beakers with, you know, and then uses a turkey baster to inject her with it. As if that doesn't make him a rapist??? I mean, the heroine ends up beating him and pushing the loaded baster into his mouth after he tries to do it to her because he blames her for the woman getting shot. Even though he's the one that shot her???

Anyway. Someone can, should, and must shove the turkey baster up the man's ass

[deans-baby-momma]

The Padackles Link-Chapter 101

A/N: Apparently this has been sitting in my WIPS for months and I forgot about it. Oops!!! 

Later as I climb into bed, Jensen is already under the covers. He turns to me and asks, "Did it ever even cross your mind that you had a claim to the baby?"

"Truthfully Jay, until Gen asked me, I never even realized it was a possibility. I have been so happy to be able to do this for them, it never dawned on me that this kid isn't Gen's. In my heart,  I am still carrying her child. 

"You know she asked me if I thought I'd want to keep it and honestly,  that floored me. I don't know why I never thought about it; that Jared and I made a baby together."

"Well now that you have," Jensen asks as he pulls me into his arms, my head on his shoulder. "Do you think you'll change your mind and want to raise it yourself? With Jared, I mean."

"Absolutely not," I state. "Not that I don't love it...him...her….whatever gender it is because I do. I love it just like I love Tom and Shep. This is not my child, though"

I am getting sick of repeating myself but I want each of them to know, without a doubt, that for me nothing has changed and nothing will change. As soon as the baby in my womb is born, he or she will be given to the Padalecki's.

"You know," I say, changing the subject a bit. "I'm glad we worked everything out. I don't want to lose them as friends and although I'm growing and nurturing their offspring,  it would have really sucked to not to get to see them grow."

"Yea," Jay says, kissing the top of my head. "I'm glad it all worked out too. We are one big, happy family. The Acklelecki's? The Padackles?"

I laugh as I look up at him. "What about Murphy, huh? Where's that come in at?"

"Baby, as soon as I can, I'm making you an Ackles. You should already be one, you practically are anyway."

Jensen sits up against the headboard and pulls me with him. My laughter dies down and I raise my head to look at him. Is he serious? Is this for real?

"This wasn't how I was planning to do this. Hell, I haven't even picked the ring up yet. But Audrea Murphy, I love you so fucking much and I can’t picture my life without you. I don't want to. Will you marry me?"

JARED’S POV

It had never occurred to me that my wife was frightened that she would be losing the baby if Drea had decided to keep it. That thought never even crossed my mind. I just assumed that the plan for Drea to carry our child and give birth to a baby that would be ours, mine and Gen’s, was still just that.

When Drea become pregnant I realized then that we fucked up when it dawned on me that I put a baby in her, not some doctor using a turkey baster and Gen’s fertilized eggs. I immediately went to talk to Jay about it as I felt as if I needed to apologize.

Fortunately, Jay was more understanding than I gave him credit for and didn’t hold any grudges against me and we talked it out. He was also under the assumption that all would go according to plan; that Drea would carry the baby and then give it to me and Gen after he or she was born. 

Apparently, I also needed to convey that same sentiment to my wife and I dropped the ball on that. Big time! Gen had ultimately figured out on her own that she has no claim to the kid and let her emotions and imagination run rampant until she became terrified that she was losing not only the baby we worked so hard to get but she would be losing me too. 

Which is the farthest thing from the truth! I love my wife and I love my kids, all three of them. So what if one of them came from another woman; it didn’t diminish my love and devotion to the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with.

Once all that was settled and Gen finally gets the answer she has been praying for; Drea isn’t keeping the baby once it's born we all relax. Until Jensen brings up the other aspect of our relationship. Sex. With all of us.

Listening to him talk about how everything was fine when it was the four of us in bed together and then when we decided to pair off and how it all went to shit after that, I couldn’t agree more. 

But does that mean, it’s over? We just go back to what it was before Gen and I asked Drea to be a surrogate?

We all agree that maybe we should just keep it to a group thing but then Drea brings up the time when Jay and I are away. I know she is pregnant now and her hormones are going to be going wacky so when she asks about her and Gen having some fun, just the two of them I have no problem with it at all.

Jay doesn’t either as he says so and then suggests they record their ‘girltime’ so he and I can at least watch. I shake my head as he wiggles his eyebrows and we laugh at him. 

In our room later that night, I lay in bed as Gen finishes up her nightly routine. While she was showering, I loosened and removed the restraints on our bed. I had plans for my wife and it did not involve her dominatrix aspect. I wanted something special, something personal. I wanted to make love to my beautiful and loving wife.

My wife is petite but don't let that fool you. She is dynamite. Those who underestimate her quickly find out just how tough she is; that she is a take no prisoners type. If she wants something, she will do whatever it takes to achieve it. That is what attracted me, her can do, will do attitude. She is the glue that holds everything together. 

As I lie in bed and wait for her to join me, I think back to the first day on set when she joined the cast of Supernatural. I remember thinking that this dainty, little person was going to reject and oppose the idea that her first scene on screen she'd be in her underwear but much to my surprise, and everyone else's, she stripped right down and blazed through the performance like it was nothing. I knew then and there that Genevieve Cortese was a force to be reckoned with.

That is why when Gen brought to our attention her apprehension about Drea wanting to keep the baby, it took me by surprise. She had never shown her fears before. Honestly, I hadn’t even considered the possibility that Drea could want to keep the baby for herself. I had been so wrapped up in the knowledge that I am having another kid that it never dawned on me; I am having another kid with someone who isn’t my wife. With someone who is not Gen.

I am having a baby with Drea, Jensen’s girlfriend. How fucked up is that?!

When Gen comes out of the bathroom with just a towel around her body, my dick twitches. It is already semi-hard just from the ideas and thoughts of making love to this amazing beautiful woman. 

Gen smiles at me and drops the towel before reaching down for her underclothes. I reach out and grab her arm, stopping her.  She looks up at me questioningly.

“Lay back on the bed,” I tell her softly. The smile on her face says it all. She now realizes that she still has me, that she still turns me on. Hell, not wanting her is the furthest thing from the truth.

I watch as my smoking hot wife climbs onto the bed and crawls to the middle of it, laying back with her head on the pillows. Her body is totally nude in front of me and my dick springs to life.

“You are so beautiful baby,” I whisper as I pull my boxers down over my erection and let them fall to the floor. “So sexy. And all mine!” I growl.

She smiles that dazzling smile of hers and I hurriedly join her on the bed, claiming her lips in a searing kiss.

I spent the rest of the night showing Genevieve just how much I love her, want her and worship her by bringing her immeasurable pleasure.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @death-unbecomes-you @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @carryonmywaywardcaptain  @darlingpeanut @sunskittlex @pretty-fortune  @internationalmusicteacher @kricketc29 @natura1phenomenon @mannls  @nickie-amore @spn-tw-37 @frozenhuntress67 @supernaturallymarvellous @thetardishasaquidditchpitch @sirod-30  @heyitscam99 @smoothdogsgirl  @i-just-wanna-run-hell @paintballkid711 @closetspngirl @starfirerules @vickiq9761  @rainflowermoon  @drakelover78 @jessieray98 @81mysteriouslyme @travelingriversideblues-x @akshi8278 @keymology @topthis808 @lilulo-12 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @markofdean79 @thevelvetseries  @deanmonandnegansbitch @midsummereve1993​

[youarejesting]

Quarantine.21

[Masterlist] Pairing: BTS x reader Friends2Lovers But as slow as you can go until the anticipation kills us all… Genres: friendship, drama, romance SLOWEST OF BURNS BUT IT WILL BE BURNING AN ETERNAL FLAME!!! Rating: PG-13 and above Summary: Your brother works with a few BigHit dance teams and whilst having permission to accompany him at work the city shuts down banning anyone from stepping outside for a whole WEEK while they disinfect the streets. If you step outside you might get arrested, shot or poisoned by the chemicals they are emitting through the city. Words: 1.7k Announcement: This one is a little longer and I didn’t get to explore as much as I wanted with the boys but, I think it will get there. But trust me there will be some talking next chapter. The boys are trying to distract themselves while they are feeling pretty rotten and it isn’t going as well as they hoped.

[Part 1]  [Part 20] [Part 22] [Tag Yourself Here]

Yoongi had been spending his time in the laundry listening to the constant churn of the machines, he moved the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer. Once they were finished he ironed and folded each piece, at some point he even learned how to hand stitch a few holes in items. He couldn’t stand being alone in his studio, which was such a strange notion and he didn’t know what else to do. It seemed the whir of the machines and the constant moving of his hands, gave him enough time to think. That dreaded conversation overlapping in his head again and again. He cried at some point as embarrassing as it was for him to admit but his words so brutal cut even him when he remembered the tone in which they were spoken.

Taehyung was taking his frustration out on the saxophone, he had locked himself in Jungkook’s studio and was playing obnoxiously loud until his lungs felt like they would give out. He was angry and wanted nothing more than to start a fight but he found this tired him out without bringing the conflict to the group. 

Jimin and Hoseok we’re keeping themselves busy online turning themselves out with posts and lives and people kept asking where the others had gone and why they looked so sad but no matter how hard they tried to deny it they knew they were just trying to escape their problems by focusing on the army. 

Each boy was overextending themselves, Namjoon putting himself into his writing and getting thoroughly pissed at the result of his work. He had stayed up through the night something he didn’t really like to do, walking to their dance lesson both on edge and exhausted. 

The boys were practicing their dance routines, not that they had to perform any time soon but with nothing else to do they just kept going over the choreography making sure it was ingrained into their memory. They were partway through the routine when Namjoon turned too quickly his arms held out a fraction further than intended. Smacking Jungkook to the ground. Jungkook felt a pop and he laid there in intense pain, they were worried crowding around.

“Jungkook, I am so sorry, are you okay?” Namjoon asked the younger boy, who was laying on the ground trying to muffle his pain. 

“I’m okay Hyung?” Jungkook spoke through gritted teeth. They tried to help him up despite his yelp and protest. They looked him over trying to examine him for damage when they noticed how his arm was hanging limply from his body.

“It looks worse than it really is” Wincing as he spoke wasn’t exactly convincing them. They contacted their health equivalent within the building who called the hospital for someone to collect him and perform proper care. They didn’t want to damage the shoulder further. 

~

“Please tell me if you feel the urge to push okay, or a stinging sensation” Asking for her clinic book you took pictures sending it to the doctor for him to translate and explain if there were any possible complications. Encouraging her to lean on her couch on her knees, you rubbed her back and helped her breathe through it. 

Her husband’s phone died about four hours in and she was crying for him. “He will be back okay” you assured her, “you are doing so well, this is your special moment between you and your baby.”

“I can’t do it without my husband” she cried “You can do it, you are tough, you are a beautiful powerful woman and you don’t need a man to prove how strong you are, Myunghee you got this okay, can I check to see if you are progressing?”

You asked nervously, she didn’t want to move and you knew it had to be time. Helping her to get into a comfortable position, Myunghee allowed you to check once more, according to the doctor she was ready and the baby was crowning. She had entered the second stage of labour and was ready to push. 

“Okay on your next contraction I want you to try to push, if it doesn’t feel right I want you to stop but pushing should almost feel relieving. When you push remember to breathe okay your baby needs oxygen. I will count for you each contraction you push for ten seconds okay” She nodded and the next contraction came and she started to push. 

“Breathe out two three four five in seven eight nine ten, okay how did that feel,” you said she nodded pushing continued for twenty minutes and Baby’s head was almost out “okay I need to check that the chord isn’t around the baby's neck so if I tell you to stop pushing, you have to stop, it will be hard but think about your baby okay at that moment think about how strong you are okay”

She nodded pushing again and you told her to stop, she did her body shaking as she cried out. “The cord is around the baby’s neck, let me move it okay”

You unraveled the cord while she was whimpering in pain. “Okay next push and I think your baby will be out. So big push okay use all your muscles okay” she nodded and you had moved everything you had sterilized in hot water. You didn’t have to wait long but you took a deep breath and got ready.

The baby came out and you caught it in a towel using a sterilized turkey baster to suction any fluid from the nose and the baby cried instantly. Taking the clamps from the bag and clamping the umbilical cord either side to be safe you cut it. In the middle, you wiped the baby down and smiled “it’s a little girl” you grinned and she held her baby in her arms. She began breastfeeding and you did a quick amount of research on breastfeeding and gave her some tips. 

You relayed the tips and she seemed grateful for the help, you waited to help her deliver the afterbirth and checked that it was completely whole and you smiled helping her into the shower and getting dressed. She laid on the bed and you handed the baby over. 

“I will stay and watch over you both until the other doctor comes” you measured and weighed the baby. You prepared some food for Myunghee and checked she was okay every few hours and you smiled telling the father his wife was sleeping and showed him his daughter telling him how much she weighed and how tall she was and the time she was born. 

He was ecstatic, “I will get her to call you the moment she wakes up” he continued to thank you. She woke later to the baby’s cries and you smiled. “How are you feeling, your so tough, your daughter will definitely be proud of her mother”

Myunghee smiled “I couldn’t have done it without you, you were really amazing you made me feel safe” “Yes you could have done it on your own, you got a call while you were asleep, I told him everything went well and you were both resting, tell him about how good you were”

She smiled talking on the phone with her husband and showing off their daughter, the walkie talkie went off. You moved away from her to answer, “this is Y/N. Miss Bu Myunghee has successfully given birth to a baby girl weighing 7 pounds 2 ounces and 48 centimeters long, both mother and baby seem quite well and are being monitored, there was no tearing or major bleeding from mother and baby is eating well. I can stay until the doctor comes out?”

“That would be ideal, please keep on the lookout for any signs of regression” they explained what to look out for and you nodded heading back inside.  “Come here” Myunghee beckoned and you rushed over alarmed.  “Is something wrong?”

“Miss we would like you to be our baby’s godmother,” the father asked in English and you looked shocked.  “Really?” You searched their expressions, they smiled nodding back.  “If you want to, you have done so much for is already” “I would love to, what is her name?”

“Choonhee, it means born in spring” “Little Choonhee, you are so cute” “Would you like to hold her?” You held your arm out and gently took the baby and smiled she was so small and your heart warmed with a feeling you thought lost, you tilted your head back crying”

Everything you said to Myunghee, about being strong and tough and that she didn’t need a man that all stemmed from you, that was your subconscious talking to you. You smiled wiping your eyes with your clean sleeve. You felt like you were rebuilding like an epiphany began that this was the pivotal moment. You had been tossing around back and forth your self worth about being nothing and something and it not mattering but now you were sure you were worth it, you always were in the ups and the downs you were worth it”

It took guiding someone else through there fears and suffering to realise you weren’t lacking anything.

~

“We will try to send someone over as soon as possible, Please ice the wound and call back if the situation changes or the issue worsens” The doctor from the clinic hung up feeling light-headed, he turned to the receptionist with a pale face. Staring at her while he dialed your number. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Your voice coming through the phone seems to have more color than he had heard in a long time” “We got a call, for a possible dislocation, there is too much swelling to re-position the joint safely but the problem is, it’s from that building”

“Which building?” “BigHit”  “Oh ok, I will head over, do you know who got hurt?” he blinked, surprised you didn’t completely collapse in on yourself at the mere mention of the company they came from.  “I think it was Jeon Jungkook”

“I will be around as soon as I can, will Myunghee be okay alone here, after just having a baby?” “You have been reporting her and her baby are in excellent condition and the ambulance will be collecting her and her child the moment the sun is out. I will notify the husband to call if anything seems to have gone wrong”  “Okay I will let her know and then I will head straight over”

[Part 1]  [Part 20] [Part 22] [Tag Yourself Here]

Tags:@bubbletae7​ @lovemusicandotps​ @taetaebq​ @seveniefive​ @w0lfqu33n​ @anaiss97​ @moccahobi​ @maddymal​ @lilacdreams-00​ @lethargicalyssa​ @knjkitten​ @pieislife​ @bunnyboyenthusiast​  @vividwoosan​ @seesawsmin-flower​ @tinyunknownflower​ @gguksfilter​

[goldenhaechan]

More cute markhyuck please

ask and you shall receive 😌✨

let’s go for aged up!markhyuck with kids

mark & donghyuck finally have their shit togeher

their careers are stable, they have a steady income, they recently just got engaged, they just became dog dads after adopting a cavapoochon puppy named alfred

so they start looking at houses bc hyuck’s always imagined being carried thru the treshold of his dream home after his wedding

their real estate agent, irene, shows them a few houses and none of them feel right

either the house is too big or too small, or the floor plan is weird af, or the neighborhood vibe just isn’t right

despite all that, mark & hyuck are still optimistic

finally, irene shows them a renovated brownstone and they know that it’s the one

mark & hyuck are more than happy to put a down on the house and close the deal

they start moving in a few weeks later

hyuck loves ikea and just decorating in general so you best believe he drags mark to ikea multiple times a week to furnish their new home (they also order furniture and other stuff online but ikea is where it’s at)

when their house is full of houseplants and aesthetically pleasing decorations, hyuck plans a housewarming party

the smile on mark’s face doesn’t falter the whole time that hyuck is playing good hostess

also alfred loves the house, especially the backyard

hyuck lowkey imagines raising his and mark’s little family in their home and he gets a bit teary at the thought of their kids running around the 3-story brownstone

it’s winter now and they spend nights cuddling in their living room with alfred at their feet, rewatching harry potter while sipping hot chocolate

more often than not, jaehyun (hyuck’s step-brother) finds them tangled up in each other in the early mornings and he always sneaks pictures to send to the markhyuck gc

flash forward to hyuck and mark’s wedding

it’s a spring wedding that’s held outside and hyuck can’t believe he’s really getting married to the dork from next door

mark cries when hyuck reads him his vows and vise versa (the first part of hyuck’s vows were lyrics from jb’s boyfriend)

ofc their first dance has to be to mj’s love never felt so good

mark carries hyuck thru the threshold bridal style and they’re both giggling between kisses like fools in love

they’re flight to bora bora isn’t until the next morning so they spend the night in high spirits while having slow, soft sex

bora bora is amazing and they take so many pictures and eat so much food and spend so much time in each other’s arms

but like all good things, they’re honeymoon comes to an end 2 weeks later and they’re back to work and falling back into their normal routine

mark & hyuck always make dinner togeher on friday nights while blasting mark’s r&b playlist

slow dancing in the kitchen y’all

and singing duets while they’re doing the dishes

dancing with alfred in their arms

just mark & hyuck being in love and being cute with their dog

it’s 2 years into their marriage and alfred isn’t a puppy anymore but a cute 2 year old doggo that mark brings up the subject of kids

hyuck is excited bc he’s been imagining raising kids with mark for the longest

they weigh their options and decide to adopt and have kids thru surrogacy

bc mark has always wanted a big family and hyuck being from a big family himself can’t imagine a house without it being full

the adoption process is long and a rollercoaster full of emotions but it was all worth it

they bring home haechan (who’s 2 yrs old) and his biological sister haerin (who’s only 10 months old) just a little after mark’s birthday

alfred is protective of his new human siblings and loves it when haechan gives him belly rubs

haechan is very clingy and very affectionate towards whereas his sister is aloof and doesn’t like it when people try to hug/kiss her

but bring hyuck around and haerin is a whole different person

she clings to donghyuck like a koala and mark might be just a little jealous

hyuck and mark don’t play favorites but obviously their kids have their preferences when it comes to which parent they like

bath time with haechan is a dramatic affair and mark always ends up soaked from head to toe

haerin only lets hyuck bathe her but prefers when mark dresses her. she will scream and scream if donghyuck even tries to dress her after bath time

donghyuck learns that hard way that if you tell a kid no, they’ll still do it anyways

mark learns that you shouldn’t promise kids anything bc they WILL remember and they WILL have a fit if you don’t keep that promise

parenting is difficult but they’re new parents and they’re trying their best ok

haechan is 3 and haerin is almost 2 when mark & hyuck start to look into surrogacy

mark and hyuck find a full service surrogacy agency

and then there’s lawyers involved to discuss terms and compensation for the surrogate and mark asking awkward questions about turkey basters but everything is smooth sailing once they decide who’s going to be the ‘donor’ first

funnily enough, they play rock paper scissors and hyuck wins

mark doesn’t mind bc either way he’s still going to have a baby at the end of it

their surrogate is a woman called wendy and mark bonds with her since they’re both from canada

hyuck is very attentive and he makes sure that wendy is comfortable and taken care of all while managing to be a full-time parent and a full-time PR director

how he does it?? mark thinks it sorcery

haechan kind of knows what’s going on and he’s excited to have another sibling

haerin’s nice and all but she doesn’t share and she makes him cry so maybe a brother would be nice

when wendy starts showing, haechan is eager to feel on her belly while haerin turns her nose up at the sight and hides in donghyuck’s arms

mark lowkey cries at the gender reveal bc omg another little girl?!

their family and friends are excited to have another little girl in the family

mark thinks he’s imagining it but maybe haerin looks lowkey pissed

time skip~

wendy gives birth to a healthy baby girl and she’s more than happy to hand the baby over, wishing hyuck and mark good luck with their baby and their growing family

sure, they keep in touch, but it’s better this way and plus they have a contract

mark names the baby michelle (bc he knows donghyuck loves mj)

when haechan and haerin meet their new sibling, it’s like love t first sight

tbh hyuck is a bit surprised that haerin takes a liking to the newborn bc of her indifference to most things

alfred is of course is eager to sniff the new baby. he finally has another sibling!

having a newborn is different from having toddler and an almost toddler

michelle is fussy for a few weeks and donghyuck really doesn’t know what to do

fortunately mark took family leave and hyuck swears that his husband is a baby whisperer

so while hyuck takes care of the older kids and alfred, mark feeds and bathes and changes michelle’s diapers like a pro

their family and friends start to visit them more often now

haerin is always happy to see her uncle jaehyun while haechan clings to his uncle taeil like no tomorrow

michelle, now almost 3 months, basks in the attention she gets whenever there’s company in the house

what can i say, she likes being held

another fast forward in time

haechan is now in kindergarten and haerin is in pre-k and michelle is now 2 and there’s another baby on the way

well, babies

yup, it’s twins

donghyuck fainted when the doctor told them and thankfully mark was there to catch him

their surrogate isn’t wendy this time

they get matched with a woman called krystal and she lowkey reminds mark of jaehyun

jaehyun: seriously when are y’all going to stop having kids, hyuck: mind your business

donghyuck has long since stepped down was the PR director and now manages social media for the company he works for

he prefers to stay at home and work at home and just be with his kids and their dog

when mark comes home, he’s greeted by the pattering of little feet and claws before he’s surrounded by his kids (and he’s, alfred counts too)

they all hang off of him, all eager to tell him about his day as he carries haerin and michelle in each arm and haechan on his back

donghyuck as usual greets him with a quick peck on the lips and reminds him to wash up

mark always sets the girls and haechan down before he washes up

they always wait patiently behind him and pounce on him again when he’s done drying his hands

it’s become a part of their routine now; to cuddle mark while recalling their days while hyuck makes dinner in the kitchen

they kids weren’t allowed in the kitchen while hyuck is cooking after haerin managed to set a paper towel roll on fire

anyways, dinner with the lees

it’s loud, it gets messy, and sometimes food is thrown bc haerin doesn’t take shit from anybody, especially not her older brother who’s just a cry baby

honestly hyuck wonders why his daughter is so angry all the time and he makes a mental not to sign her up for some activities to get her anger out

she’s only 4 for crying out loud

the next and final babies of the lee family are born and they’re fraternal twins

the first twin is a girl and donghyuck names her heaven (“really, hyuck? heaven lee?” “shut up mark it’s cute”) the second twin is a boy who mark names minhyuk

unlike michelle, heaven and minhyuk are angels and they sleep thru the night and they don’t fuss (as much)

both sets of grandparents are happy to spoil all of the kids despite mark and donghyuck’s protests

raising 4 kids that are slightly close in age proves to be difficult for mark and donghyuck

they have many sleepless nights and sometimes they can even feel the exhaustion deep in their bones

but they wouldn’t have it any other way

alfred is usually a good distraction when haerin and haechan are fighting so that’s a plus

the day heaven and minhyuk are potty trained and are able to eat on their own, hyuck cries

haerin catches her papa crying and hugs him without asking any questions

that’s one of the things donghyuck loves about his daughter: she doesn’t pry and she’ll offer comfort without any hesitation (unless it’s haechan ofc bc she really can’t stand her brother)

a few more years pass...(haechan is now 10, haerin is 9, michelle is 7, and the twins are now 5)

hyuck ends up signing haerin up for taekwondo and haechan starts to take ballet, michelle is taking piano lessons, and the twins are taking cooking classes

the one activity they all do togeher is take korean language classes bc donghyuck will be dammed if their kids only spoke one language

mark and donghyuck keep the kids busy bc they’re so high in energy and they need to burn it off so they usually take them out bowling or hiking or any fun family activities mark can think of doing

and sometimes their cousins join in and it’s pure and utter chaos but let’s not get into that

bc hyuck is home with the kids, he tend to keep them on a tight schedule to get hw done, chores done, and anything else so that they had time to do what they liked

honestly donghyuck would like to think that he and mark have done a pretty decent job raising the little gremlins considering the fact that haerin was a walking and talking hulk but in recent years she’s calmed down thanks to taekwondo and playing sports

bc there’s so many females in the house, mark decides to research about the menstual cycle and he even joins a few forums so that he’s ready to give his daughters the talk when the time comes

to say haerin did not look happy to be talking to her dad about her bleeding vagina would be an understatement

but michelle and heaven makeup for haerin’s disdain and they hug mark and thank him for everything

mark might’ve shed a tear afterward and haerin might’ve also hugged mark and thanked him before giving him the rolling her eyes at him and locking herself in her room

when the family dog passes away a few years later, the kids are devestated and they lock themselves in their rooms until hyuck calls them out to eat or remind them to finish their hw and their chores

it’s sad really and it breaks mark’s heart

he’s discussed getting another pet for the kids but hyuck didn’t want them to go thru another heartbreak so that plan was tossed out

suddenly after a month the kids are back in high spirits

haerin isn’t even screaming at her sisters or teasing haechan so mark knows something is up

that something ends up being a stray kitten that’s hidden in their basement and hyuck spends an hour lecturing his grown kids (haechan, haerin are in hs now, michelle is in middle school, while the twins are in elementary school) about harboring a stray kitten

towards the end of the lecture hyuck is cuddling their new kitten (heaven names him sol after the sun god bc he’s an orange tabby) and he’s cooing, not even paying attention when haechan and minhyuk low-five discreetly

mark just shakes his head, smiling fondly at his kids when he reminds them not to pull another stunt like this

they don’t take home seriously ofc

tbh hyuck is scarier than mark so we all know who does the grounding and the punishing at home

1 day, the kids come home and michelle is scratched and bruised up and hyuck feels his blood pressure rise when he spots blood on his baby girl’s shirt as she hands him a slip of paper that says she’s been suspended for a week

“papa, it’s the other girls” “damn my little girl is a scrapper” “now is NOT the time to encourage this type of behavior MARK LEE”

michelle explains to her parents that she found minhyuk being bullied by a group of girls for wearing nail polish and ‘feminine’ clothes to school and she wasn’t going to resort to violence but one of the girls called her baby brother the b-word

haerin is beaming and praising her younger sister, dragging her away to clean her up while heaven trails behind them, not wanting to be left behind

haechan comforts his younger brother and tells him that it’s okay to dress however he likes and that other peoples opinions don’t matter

mark wants to explode bc omg his kids are so good?? what?? how’d that even happen??

he just really loves his husband and his kids. wow.

okay that’s all i have. i’m sorry if it’s not good anon. i really did try my best. feel free to send me prompts or whatever they’re called lol. my ask box is always open 😌

[grisdidthis]

The Glenn Legacy: G1, Entry #5

START HERE | PREVIOUSLY ON: Bimby discovered that blondes are Elle’s turn-off and, in a desperate bid to salvage what would turn out to be a doomed venture, took her hair to the dark side of the Force. Although it did the job of getting her laid, Elle legged it before she woke, and we’re not wasting any more time and effort on somebody who isn’t willing to endure a terminally awkward morning after. Plenty more fish in the sea! Our girl can do better! BYE ELLE! 

...oh wait, this is a five people city and Bimby already tried to date two of those. Hm. Maybe we should reconsider... I mean, maybe the sex was THAT bad, maybe Elle has some sort of tragic backstory that justifies her reaction, maybe she had to run off because she remembered she’d left the stove on! We don’t know! Bimby, perhaps you should give her a call and ask what that was all...

NO? What do you mean, “no”?

...you want to go out, bleach your hair back to blonde and try to forget that this embarrassing and hurtful episode ever took place, so that your last shred of dignity will be salvaged? Why, I’d never! 

I mean. It’s true that your current hair color doesn’t flatter you. And you won’t attract a mate among the few possibilities left open if you look anything but your bes-whadaya mean, you want to do this for you? The heck do you think this legacy challenge is about, self-actualization and learning to love yourself and all that hippy wooo fandango crap? You’re a collection of pixels and your autonomy is off. GTFO with this feminism bullshit. Honestly, next you’ll be burning bras and wanting to start a home business! Just. Argh! Just go sort out your hair. Then we’ll go back to wife hunting and never speak of this again. 

“HELLO I’M WANTING TO FIX MY TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES AND ALSO THIS HAIR COLOR- wait, I know you! You’re Jamie the Delivery Guy! Who delivers my author’s copies! And my food supplies! How come you’re cashiering at the hair salon slash boutique?”

“There’s five people in this city, we all stack functions like otters building a dam.”

“OK FAIR ENOUGH.”

Bimby! Stop gabbing and go make yourself look attractive instead of wasting time! Jamie has a penis, he is not a suitable mate!

Okay, yes, I suppose you can update your wardrobe too, since we are here. You’ve been wearing the same dress since you came to Kleinestad. Which, er, may account for why you never got that promotion back when you had a normal job, come to think about it. Anyway. Go wild. Get something sexy and alluring and fancy and mature and that gives off the illusion that you have your shit together. Yes, it’s a filthy lie, but people  👏 don’t  👏 need  👏 to  👏 know 👏 that! 

Hm, let’s see what she went with. 

BIMBY NO. 

Sweet eye in the sky, what are you, a toddler wearing her mom’s heels? You look ridiculous!

I don’t care if you like it, Bimby! Yes, it’s VERY you. That’s exactly the problem! JESUS! 

*dry heaves* I’m never getting this woman married. This legacy is doomed. DOOMED. Should just burn everything down and salt the earth. Full Carthage treatment for this city. It’s not working out anyway, I don’t have the patience to make marriageable townies to populate it and as long as it’s just Bimby and Jamie and Nancy (who we’ll never talk to again) and Elle (ditto) and Cathy (we haven’t met her because she’ll need a pre-introduction makeover and I haven’t been arsed to do that for her yet) this challenge will always feel too claustrophobic to be a satisfying thing to carry on with. To be honest, I regret the choice to use a sort-of-doomed hood that won’t get developed further as the starting point of this legacy. Bimby would have stood a much better chance of finding a decent partner in that other hood I’ve been investing hours and hours in decorating and populating and-

Hm. Bimby? How do we feel about moving? I know you just finished building your house, and that your finances are finally stable, and that you’ve only arrived in your current city less than a month ago... but, just imagine! You won’t ever have to cross paths with Elle again! You won’t have 1000+ newspapers piling up on your doorstep because you want to keep Nancy from coming by! I mean, just think about it, it’s-

Bimby? Are you even listening to me? Bimby?

“Wow, Jamie the Delivery Guy! Who would have thought you’d also be a qualified hairdresser!”

“STACKING. LIKE. OTTERS. So, how do you want me to style this?”

“Don’t care as long as it’s volatile!”

“WHOAH.”

Huh. Okay. Now, Bimby, we were discussing the possibility of you getting your ass somewhere with a surplus of attractive marriageable ladies (I should know, I put a lot of work in ensuring they met a certain standard of pretty) and traumatized orphans you can adopt, or men with good genes whose seed you can yoink to impregnate yourself with. The real estate market is an absolute fart basket right now, what with there having been an apocalypse, so it’s possible that you’ll lose all the capital you invested in the house, but-

...Bimby. Stop that! If you aren’t going to put a ring on it, don’t waste a hug on it. For fuck’s sake! He’s not even good for filling a turkey baster - that would just turn out fantastically awkward, and then you’d need to avoid him too, which would mean sending your writing career down the drain and you quite possibly dying of starvation once the groceries run out. No hugs! It’s not even that nice a makeover! And you’re going to pay him for it in actual cash anyway!

...you’re literally not going to stop hugging this guy until your relationship points hit 100/100, are you? OKAY. FINE. BE LIKE THAT! Waste your social skills on cultivating platonic friends, see what that’ll get you! 

...”HAPPINESS!” is not an acceptable answer, you nitwit!

[stolethekey]

come back and tell me why i’m feeling like i’ve missed you all this time

or: nat and steve go to ikea.

inspired by this tumblr post and set between avengers 1 and winter soldier.

read on ao3

-

Brooklyn is lovely during the spring.

It’s something Steve has rarely taken the time to appreciate, but as he walks down the street toward his apartment, he notices that the sun is shining pleasantly through a clear, blue sky. A slight breeze blows through the air, rustling the paper grocery bag in his arms, and he feels a rush of affection for his hometown as he pushes through the doors to his apartment building.

A faint smile graces his lips as he walks up the stairs, shifting the bag into the crook of his right elbow. His free hand reaches into his pocket for his keys, and the jingle they give as he pulls them out sounds positively cheerful.

There are times he thinks he should move; there are days the buildings seem too suffocating, days the city seems too overwhelmingly a mixture of foreign and familiar. But there are also days—days like today—when it feels welcoming, like this is where he belongs. Like it might be home.

Those days are becoming slightly more common.

Steve unlocks his door and steps over the threshold, humming mindlessly as he kicks his shoes off and sets the groceries on the kitchen table. He’s about to take the loaf of bread off the top when he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

He spins, fists already rising, to see a familiar redhead stretched lazily across his armchair.

“Hello, Captain,” Natasha almost purrs, a slight amusement flickering through her eyes. “At ease.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Relax,” she says, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “I’m not gonna fight you, so you can put those hands down.”

Steve lowers his fists slightly, but the adrenaline coursing through his veins does not slow down. “How did you get in?”

She shrugs. “You’d be hard-pressed to find an apartment I couldn’t break into,” she says nonchalantly. “Don’t take it personally. I’ve broken into many a government building—apartment windows are hardly a challenge.”

He takes a step forward, hands unfurling slightly at his sides. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I came to drop this off,” she says, gesturing at a box of assorted trinkets that Steve now notices is in the corner. “But then I got here and I realized that you have a problem.”

“I’m not the one who climbed through a window to drop a box off.”

“Touché.”

Steve rolls his eyes and leans against the wall, waiting for her next words. She merely looks at him, her face a mask of careful indifference.

He sighs. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the problem?”

“The problem,” Natasha says, with what Steve thinks is an unnecessarily dramatic flourish, “Is that you’re living like a college student. And you’re ninety-five years old.”

“I am not—’

“You are,” she insists, standing with a face full of determination. “I mean, look at this. You have one cup and two whole chairs. This is sad, Steve, no wonder you hate living here.”

“I don’t hate living here—”

She narrows her eyes. “Really? You never think that this maybe doesn’t feel like home anymore?”

He hesitates, and she smirks. “That’s what I thought. Luckily, it’s nothing a trip to IKEA won’t fix.”

“I—IKEA?”

“Yeah,” she says, turning to grab her jacket off the armchair. “It’s a Swedish store, sells everything from bedframes to meatballs—”

“I know what it is. I just wasn’t planning on going.”

She purses her lips but says nothing, and he sighs again.

“What are you trying to do?”

“I’m not trying to do anything.”

“You’re always trying to do something.”

There is a beat of silence before she answers. “I know what it’s like to be dragged out of a world you knew and dropped into one you’re supposed to know but can’t seem to,” she says with a shrug. “I just wanted to help you navigate that.”

She opens the window and slings a leg over the ledge, looking back at him as she does. “But if you want to live like a hermit, go ahead. Suit yourself.”

Something squirms in Steve’s stomach.

“Wait,” he says hurriedly, and she does, an expectant look on her face. “I’ll go.”

“Great,” she says, climbing back into the room and pushing past him. “Then let’s go, before I have to spend another second in this depressing apartment.”

“No one asked you to be here, you know.”

She turns back towards him, something similar to mirth in the corner of her eyes. “You’re a human disaster. This is an emergency. And I deal with emergencies.”

“I really don’t appreciate your tone,” Steve mutters, following her obediently down the staircase.

“Maybe I’ll change it when your apartment stops looking like it’s inhabited by a teenage guy who’s never seen a turkey baster in his entire life.”

“I—what’s a turkey baster?”

She laughs as she unlocks the car, gesturing at him to get in. “You’re about to find out.”

-

It is a testament to how much he has adapted, Steve thinks, that the interior of IKEA doesn’t send him into a massive I-grew-up-during-the-Great-Depression heart attack.

The second floor is big enough to house an entire army regiment and their families, and as Steve passes the display for a “cute, minimalist home!” that has more furniture than he grew up with he nearly has a stroke.

“Relax,” Natasha murmurs from his side, winding her arm through Steve’s. “You look like an amateur thief who’s trying to sneak a bag of chips out the door.”

“It’s just a lot,” he hisses as they stop next to a sofa. “I don’t know if I can—”

“Hi,” a woman wearing a blue vest says brightly, stepping towards them. “Can I help you find anything today?”

“Oh, no,” Natasha says, suddenly beaming. “My boyfriend and I are moving into a new apartment together, and we’re just looking for some furniture to liven up the place. We’ll be fine on our own. Thank you, though.”

The employee retreats, and Natasha pushes Steve farther into the store, a firm hand on his back.

“How do you do that?” He asks, once the employee is out of earshot.

“Do what?”

“Make your eyes—make them sparkle like that.”

She snorts. “Practice.”

They come to a stop near another sofa—really, how many couches can there possibly be in one room—and she forces him to sit in it.

“Look,” she says, arms crossed. “I know this is overwhelming. But it’s for your own good.”

“I know,” he mutters. “I know, it’s just—I spent so much of my life living off the bare minimum, and this just seems so—”

“Indulgent,” she says, nodding. “I know. You think I didn’t feel the same way when I got here? But having once lived in terrible conditions doesn’t mean that you should be afraid to live in good ones now. If anything, it means the exact opposite. We know how lucky we’ve gotten to be able to have a better life—shouldn’t we do the most we can to live it?”

He hesitates, and her eyes soften. “We both got another chance at life,” she says, almost gently. “We deserve to make the most of it. Trust me, it took me a long time to accept that too. But we’re going to live here, and now, no matter what. So we might as well make it as comfortable as we can.”

Steve takes a deep breath, his fingers kneading the fabric of the couch. “Okay,” he says, standing slowly. “Okay. But no more fake boyfriend stuff. That seems unnecessary.”

“On the contrary,” she says, a sly smile making its way across her face, “It’s very necessary. You’re a terrible liar, and you need practice going undercover.”

“I—um—”

She grins again, slapping him with a towel she has apparently summoned out of thin air. “I’m kidding,” she laughs. “Not about the fact that you’re a terrible liar. But we don’t have to do the fake-couple stuff. We can save that for next time.”

Natasha turns and heads back down the hallway and he follows, a faint smile toying at his lips.

He’s making progress, Steve thinks, as he lets her pick out a new couch and some new shelves. She asks him what kind of TV stand he wants and he actually gives her an opinion (wood), which makes something he thinks is pride flash briefly through her eyes.

They’ve made it onto the bottom floor, having placed an order for the most comfortable couch Steve has ever sat on, and are each pushing a cart through the looser items when he starts to think she’s stretching the limits again.

“I don’t need a forty-piece silverware set.”

She rolls her eyes as she takes the box off the shelf. “You don’t need that obnoxious suit that makes you look like a child’s doll, either, but you wear it anyway.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Sure,” she says, shrugging and walking toward the drinkware.

“I—wait,” he says, jogging slightly to catch up to her, “You don’t like the suit?”

She smirks as she tosses a six-pack of coasters into the cart. “It’s just…very loud.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s just—the colors, they’re kind of obnoxious—”

“Obnoxious?”

“No—no,” she says, laughing slightly. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just a lot brighter than what I would wear.”

“You literally only wear black.”

“Yeah, for stealth,” she says, putting so many wine glasses into the cart he thinks he can see rainbows, “It’s functional. The red, white, and blue are not. Do you know how hard it is to work with that?”

“Fine,” he says, forgoing a protest about the glasses for a more important conversation. “If it’s that important to you, I’ll get a stealth suit. But you don’t get to make fun of it.”

She gasps in mock shock, and insulted expression spreading across her face. “I would never.”

They roll the carts to checkout, and Steve realizes with a jolt that they are both somehow full. He pales slightly as the price for the first chair comes up on the screen—$25.99—and Natasha slaps a hand over his eyes.

“Turn around,” she says, almost carelessly.

“Why—“

“So you don’t see the prices.”

“But I have to pay for them—“

“No,” she says airily, “You don’t. It’s going on my SHIELD credit card.”

“Okay, well, I have a SHIELD credit card too—“

“Yeah, but it’s easier if I do it. They’ve learned the hard way not to ask questions about my purchases.”

“But—“

“America, like many other countries, has a terribly exploitative economy. SHIELD gets a lot of funding from a lot of very wealthy people that employ a lot of not-very-wealthy people. If anything, this little furniture expedition is just us taking advantage of a system that would not hesitate to take advantage of us.”

He hesitates, and some of his discomfort must show on his face, because her expression softens. “Turn around,” she says again, her hands rotating him gently. “We can talk about it in the car.”

She must notice that he is still uneasy by the time she’s paid what he is sure is an exorbitant amount of money, because she carries her share across the parking lot instead of making him carry all of it and doesn’t make a single quip (though he’s sure “what was the serum for, anyway?” is screaming in her head). They fill the trunk and the backseat with bags and boxes, and after Natasha pulls back onto the street she glances briefly at him.

“The world is full of shades of grey,” she says quietly. “If you’re going to live in the 21st century, you’ll need to accept that.”

“You don’t think I’m trying?”

“I know it’s hard when you’ve had such a…black-and-white view of right and wrong your entire life. But things are different now. The best we can do is try to be mostly good. And sometimes we have to compromise to do that.”

“In ways that make me not sleep so well.”

She sighs, but there is no exasperation in her voice when she speaks. “It’s better than not being able to sleep at all.”

He looks over at her to see her eyes trained on the road, her expression slightly wistful.

“I’m trying,” he says quietly. “I really am.”

She turns to meet his gaze, an uncharacteristic softness in her eyes. “I know.”

The tension has lifted slightly by the time Natasha pulls back into the apartment parking lot, and as they lug their purchases up the steps and into the living room, she starts delegating tasks with a comfortingly familiar authority.

“They’re moving the couch in tomorrow, and they’ll help you get rid of your old one, but we should probably do everything else tonight. I can do the TV stand, if you want to get started on the shelves.”

“You don’t have to—I mean, you’ve done enough, I don’t want to force you to do more work—”

“You’re not forcing me to do anything,” she says, smiling slightly. “This was my idea. Who would I be to leave you with all of this disassembled furniture?”

A curious sense of relief starts creeping into Steve’s shoulders. “I guess I could use the help,” he says, and she grins. “I’ll order us a pizza.”

“Oh, God, yes,” she says, already ripping open the TV stand box. “Please do.”

The next hour passes in relative silence, the two of them focused solely on the pieces of wood in their hands. They finish their respective pieces and move on to the next, the occasional pounding of a hammer or wrinkle of paper providing brief interruptions of a comfortable, quiet atmosphere.

It isn’t until Natasha lets out a slight growl that Steve looks up, noticing that a few strands of hair have escaped the ponytail she’d thrown up haphazardly at the start of the night. The pieces of what is potentially an office chair are spread out in front of her, and as she stares at the instruction manual with a hatred typically reserved for mass murderers he lets his screwdriver drop to the floor.

“What’s going on?”

She looks up, frustration in every inch of her gaze. “Did you know that I can speak fourteen languages?”

“Uh, no, but what does that—”

“I speak fourteen languages,” she hisses, slamming the manual down next to her, “and the instructions are in none of them.”

He laughs at that, and even though she initially looks offended her face softens slightly as he crawls across the floor toward her.

“Let me see,” he says, picking the manual back up. “I think your brain needs a break from this chair.”

“I was tortured and starved for decades, I think I can handle a chair—”

“Relax,” he says, shoving her towards the other end of the room. “Go build my shoe rack. We’ll trade.”

She picks her way across the hardwood, grumbling the entire time, and sits down next to the half-built rack with a huff. “Where the fuck is our pizza, anyway?”

“Maybe it’s waiting for you to finish that rack.”

She glares at him, wrinkling her nose when he shoots her an innocent grin, and then starts pounding a nail into the wood with a truly impressive force.

The doorbell rings just as Steve finally puts the last wheel on the chair and Natasha completes her third curtain replacement. She lets out a delighted yelp at the sound, and Steve scrambles past his newly-built shoe rack to open the door, an excessive amount of excitement rushing through his veins. He tips the delivery man far too much and kicks the door closed as he turns back around, raising his eyebrows at his companion.

“About time,” she says, beckoning at him to join her on the floor. “I’m going to die if I don’t eat that right this second.”

He sits next to her, their backs leaning against the wall, and cracks open the top box. She very nearly tackles him in her haste to grab a slice, and as she takes a bite out of it she lets out an animalistic moan.

“This is the best meal I’ve ever had. Like, in my entire life.”

Steve snorts. “How many Michelin-star restaurants have you eaten at, again?”

She shakes her head, chewing rapidly. “Doesn’t matter. This is better.”

He rolls his eyes, but as he bites into his own slice and the cheese hits his taste buds, he finds it very hard to argue.

They eat their way through two large pizzas, talking and laughing the entire time, and after the last slice is gone her shoulders slump.

They sit in silence for a while, both pondering the empty pizza boxes, before Natasha sighs. “Should we get back to work, then?”

Steve groans. “Probably.”

She crawls reluctantly back toward the middle of the room, half-heartedly picking up a screwdriver on the way. “Do you think we’ll finish tonight?”

“Yeah,” he says, trying to put as much gusto into his voice as he can. “I believe in us.”

They don’t, but they do manage to assemble everything that needs to be built before they find themselves sprawled out across the floor, lying on top of a brand-new rug.

“Nat,” Steve mumbles, exhaustion overtaking his brain so rapidly that he doesn’t realize this is the first time he’s using that nickname. “We hafta set the glasses and plates up. Make them pretty on the shelf.”

“Mmmrph.” Her eyes are closed as she curls up on the rug, her words slurring slightly. “We can do it tomorrow. I’ll help if you get more pizza.”

“Mkay. Deal.”

He heaves himself to his feet and shuffles over to the light switch, pausing to grab the two throw blankets peeking out of a shopping bag on his way. He turns the lights off, but the moonlight peeking through the window is bright enough for him to see Natasha’s silhouette on the floor. Her eyes stay closed as he makes his way back onto the rug and drapes a blanket over her, but he notices a soft smile on her face as he lowers himself onto the floor beside her.

The night is just warm enough to be comfortable, and as he burrows deeper into his blanket a gleam of moonlight catches Natasha’s hair, the silver light making the red shine.

It’s the last thing he sees before his eyes shut and sleep overtakes him, but as he lies on that IKEA rug, surrounded by a superspy, newly-built furniture, and loose cardboard, one thought rises unbidden to the top of his mind:

He’s home.

(for @romanogersweek)

[renee-writer]

Alone Chapter 46 A Question of Fruitfullness

“Rae brought up something on the boat we need to discuss.” Mile says to Willow. The all sit on one of the dorm beds. Melody still sleeps across the room, guarded by Lady.

“That is?”

“That you are worried about not having anyone to make children with.” Willow's eyes shoot to Rae.

“I did but.. Look it doesn’t mean.. I know you two are married.”

“I think we should both be having his children.” Rae calmly replies. She is entertained by the look on Willow's face.

“What? Are you insane?”

“Not to be sleeping with him. But, there are other ways. I am sure there is a turkey baster in the kitchen.”

“Holy hell, you are serious.”

“We are. It is the only logical solution. We don’t know who else is out there. There may be, and we pray there is, someone who will steal your heart like Rae did mine. But, until you find him, this is a way to assure that you have children. It is our duty, us survivors, to be fruitful. Now, you don't have to, of course. You can wait.” Mike replies.

“I ah… let me think on it. It is a major thing to be a momma. And ah, it won't be a man that steals my heart, but a woman. This is how I would have to do it this way anyway. I am a lesbian.”

“Well, ahh. That helps. I mean, I won't have to worry about you stealing my husband.”

“Just my wife?”

“No, not that you aren't beautiful but I am no home wrecker.”

“Good. Well, I am a member of Delta Force. You asked me once. We just got busy.”

“Now that is good to know. Okay. Let's do this. It would be nice to share the experience with Rae.”

“Okay, lets take a few days to get settled. I want to get some more supplies in. Then we will.”

“Sounds good. Want to show us around?” He lifts a sleeping Melody into his arms and gives them the tour.

[tessacxstello]

hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!

pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD). 

tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder

art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting

the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina

fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars

embodies pure sunshine. 

one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin. 

cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down 

has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.

her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.

knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat

still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship

very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)

tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor. 

the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for

and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child  tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap. 

her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest. 

an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet

very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice. 

feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.

says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.

had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario

aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.

studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope

gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko

on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening

she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year

she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.

very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af

pinterest board.

STATS

age: 22

height: 5'2"

positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.

negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.

distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).

skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.

likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.

fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.

nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.

alignment: Neutral Good

MBTI type: INFP

BIOGRAPHY

tw school shooting

Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.

It started with a turkey baster.

Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.

Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.

On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.

It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.

THE PRESENT:

Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.

PERSONALITY:

If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life. In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.

TWITTER:

@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men

@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.

@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

[dgcatanisiri]

The thing that really bugs me with the BioWare writers saying that they don’t want to do the all-bi romances again because (quoting from tweets by Patrick Weekes), they were more comfortable with people being angry they couldn’t romance a character with a certain gender than being angry about the idea that gay/lesbian people don’t exist...

One, that misses a very obvious point, that you’re locking queer people out of stories they need to experience with those barriers (as I bring up, my example is that Cullen’s story hits home for me, the trauma, the PTSD, the recovery, but I can’t romance him with a male character, and it HURTS). You put up these barriers, you lock people out of seeing the story they need in the way they need. Because it doesn’t help me, a queer man, to roll a female Inquisitor in the name of romancing Cullen and seeing him recover with someone who loves him, because I will not ever find that with a woman. 

Two, the way this has been done locks the gay characters (specifically the men) into stories that REQUIRE them to be gay in order to function, which... Conceptually, I understand the gist of it, that it’s making them unapologetically gay. BUT these are stories that have been repeated over and over for gay people in media for decades now - even fucking GLEE did the “will my family accept my queerness?” storyline, and for multiple characters. You’re not breaking ground by playing the same story over and over and over and over again. To say nothing of the fact that Gil’s story is dreadfully homophobic, reducing him to a turkey baster acting to benefit his straight female friend who we learn more about than HIM... 

Like I said above, we NEED more stories. Right now, it’s like going to a buffet and being told we can only choose from one or two things, while straight players are able to access the whole menu - sure, something we like might be one of our options, but when it’s obvious we COULD have more, but it’s restricted to the straight people, it’s not helping anything.

And then there’s point three: If your two options are going to piss people off either way, go with the one that offers options to the most people, because that’s actually doing the work of trying to offer something to everyone. And then make side characters who are in same-sex relations, if you’re concerned about not representing gay/lesbians in the game.

Yeah, it’s impossible to please everyone. But you know something? The all bi romances offers at least the most options that do as much to NORMALIZE same sex relationships. Because Dorian’s story just gave another instance of “being gay sucks.” That’s great empowerment there. Yeah, okay, you might be reaching out to the closeted person afraid of coming out by having these characters whose whole purpose comes down to standing defiantly against homophobia, but if you’re out, all it does is reiterate the idea that the hardships in life you, as a gay person, will face all stem from the result of your sexuality, that all that you come down to is How Well You Gay. 

Because Dorian’s personal quest being about his father wanting to make him straight REDUCES HIM DOWN. This is the thing that Inquisition chooses to make the most important facet of him, the thing it wants you to walk away from the game knowing about him. His personal quest does not involve any of him being the Redeemer of Tevinter he was hyped as. It does not use him to explore the fact that Tevinter may be beyond redemption, given all the evils that linger and evils that it still perpetrates. Hell, if anything, Inquisition paints Dorian as an abuse victim WHO CHOOSES TO RETURN TO HIS ABUSER - he cites “Tevinter cares” as a reason he cares so much about it, and then in practice, if not in words, seems to all but dump the Inquisitor to go back there - sending stones or not, going off the epilogue slides, it’s only ever the Inquisitor who drops everything and goes to him. 

And, it bares repeating, Gil is actively reduced to an accessory in Andromeda, reduced to little more than a turkey baster for Jill, a character who’s in the game for all of two minutes tops, and is the literal worst friend ever, telling her “best friend” that he’s “part of the problem” by being gay and not having kids (which is bullshit - if anything, if/when he decides to have kids, he would actually be a guaranteed customer for her, the fertility tech), when the guy’s maybe barely THIRTY - this is not something that needs to happen RIGHTTHISFUCKINGSECOND - on TOP of the fact that, when she knows he’s impulsive, it’s a really shitty thing to push for him to become a parent - if you question him on this, unless Ryder’s his boyfriend, he effectively digs in his heels to say “I’ll show you!” and doing it out of SPITE. To say nothing of where the fuck is this kid (assuming he agrees to it) supposed to be while Gil’s on the Tempest? Do they make the cargo bay into a play pen? Does Gil take a dirtside transfer (something that the guy who is willingly putting in forty plus hour work days is probably not looking for)?

Hell, even Steve Cortez... Yeah, it’s great that his story is the kind that could have easily have been about a deceased wife, but... What do I know about him BEYOND “have I mentioned my dead husband?” That’s all that he gets in the damn game.

This is the idea of providing something for gay men? Yeah, considering the track record, I don’t WANT them providing for me. So far, the straight men and even the bi men get a lot more actual character growth and development. They’re not reduced to “I’m gay, and that’s all you need to know about me!” as the extent of their character arcs.

Until BioWare can prove to me that they can give nuance and development and character to their gay characters, I really don’t want them doing gay characters. Because they don’t build them up beyond that. Their dominant, even only, real trait of note is “I’m gay.” Give me a gay character with meat on their bones, fine, yeah, we can talk. But until then... No. I don’t want these. Stick with bisexual romances.

And yeah, THAT’S an issue all its own, that male characters who are written as female romances first are getting better and nuanced characterization, but I’ve ranted enough as it is, so...