#who can forbid me after all
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Once again, but with a close-up 😘
#posting them separately because I can#why not#who can forbid me after all#my art#good omens#crowley#fanart#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#good omens fanart#ineffable spouses#ineffable idiots#husbands in 1941#artists on tumblr#art#I'm not the only one deeply in love with 1941 them#I see you all
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"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."
Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?
#my art#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#star trek deep space nine#garashir#image desc in alt text#pencil#ok so on the outset it may look to some viewers as though julian invited garak to play the villain to get dommed by the scary lizard#this is not the case. not in my heart#in my heart julian felt a burst of something funny when Garak asked him ''what if you'd killed me''#and he responded ''what makes you think i wasn't trying'' and garaks face blooms into a sudden understanding and respect. ooh.#That's that heady shit. catching garak off guard. ooooh. that's that High Quality Endorphins Happening. but. gotta pack that up for later#(he will not unpack that later) because garak also just threatened to kill 5 of his friends who are STILL IN DANGER. NO TIME FOR THIS.#so after everything. and MONTHS after OMB. he invites garak to something like a playful rematch. sort of.#after all theres only so long that garak can stomach being a sidekick u know? he needs to be able to do his own machinations.#so they make a character for him thats a villain. a little more cerebral than falcon. a little more ambiguous in his motivations.#now there's also. a secret game at play here (there are always games. doctor) and its actually between garak and his own self#you see garak Also wants bashir to defeat his character. he also wants to be shocked. challenged. a little dismantled even (state forbid!)#and because garak wants that for himself? hes going to fight tooth and fucking nail to make sure it doesn't happen.#that Gayle clip from ''COMPANY IS COMING'' but its garak yelling ''WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE [WANT]!!!''#and its a horrible idea for both of them but. oh so so exciting#you understand.#these rituals arent intricate so much as they are transparent but all encompassing. a fish doesnt know its swimming in water until its out#you understand? you understand.#thank you to anyone who found the time to read these tags i hope you enjoyed yourself and/or found what you were looking for#also garak is dressed so boring bc hes hiding himself u know how it is
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#long post#if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up#this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder#it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me#and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality#i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out#and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them#you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think#i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is#anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them#i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much#i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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mothers be normal about trans people challenge (impossible)
#guy i know from high school who is trans just got a new puppy and i was showing it to my mom because cute puppy !#and one of the pictures also had the guy in it and she was like WOW IS THAT (GUY) ?#(weird cis person whos being weird about things tone) the beard suits him : )#z talks#i know youre thinking about him being trans in every millisecond of your existence right now. i can tell#like jfc. hes just Some Guy#shes just weird about people in general to be honest .#one time i went to a cafe with a friend of mine whos jewish and my mom was all (weird tone) you know… it might be that hes orthodox and -#- isnt allowed to meet with women in private…#jfc mom. what a line of assumptions. maybe he just wanted to show me a cafe he likes. it was good pastries#we went and looked at swans after. god forbid i have a nice time with a friend from a Slightly different culture…#another time he texted me some stupid meme i was laughing at and my mom asked if he Liked me/if i Liked him#no mom … we are both raging homosexuals in Opposite directions he was simply sending me legend of zelda shitposts. thank u for ur assumption#i could go on probably
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the claim that neuvillette and furina are like "father and daughter" is a laughably incorrect bastardization of both the characters and their relationship that is born from a refusal to acknowledge that furina is neuvillette's equal. i think such claims do nothing but belittle and infantilize furina and force a deep and nuanced relationship into the most bland and narrow box imaginable.
#i rarely use the block button on tumblr but on twt its an instant block from me 😂#i dont fuck around when it comes to furi#just about all other interpretations of them are tolerable but this one..... no. just no.#and the only moment they can ever point to as 'fatherly' is furina not wanting to be alone with a woman#who nearly murdered her and exposed her greatest secret LMAO#a scene where neuvi explicitly says her behavior is abnormal#god forbid furina be traumatized after that!#sorry i'm feeling petty this morning#gotta let it out LMAO
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>Laughs Out Loud
I thought that piece was just about people focusing too hard on labelling Mizuki instead of letting them be themselves like they ask, not that it was transphobia ._ .
its ok to have ur own interpretation of that piece but its very clear to me that that wasnt ame's intention
#also i dont think its bad At All for ppl to 'focus too hard on labeling mizuki' is it bad that trans ppl are celebrating rep#if u find it annoying maybe distance urself from the fandom honestly. its So Ok i did it too after the debacle with the facts acc lol.#its so normal and common for queer ppl to be A little annoying about queer characters dude theres been so little rep for such a long time#ppl just end up feeling overprotective over the character bc they dont see their experiences reflected in media as often#its just so sucky to me to scold ppl over being happy and expressing their queerness#what is focusing too hard anyways? the argument just reeks of how cishets get annoyed at anyone openly queer for 'shoving it in their face'#and ame liking a post calling mizuki a he + her response to the backlash makes me think her threshold for 'too much' is way lower than mine#talking#mizuki5#asks#work with me here why do you think ame has to 'forbid herself from thinking about mizukis identity'#edit also how do labels stop mizuki from being herself like yeah labels can be limiting but as far as we know mizuki is a femenine tgirl#i dont think she'd find it limiting shes just scared atm to be openly trans around ppl she cares about in fear of being treated differently#in fact i think itd be super sweet if we eventually got an event where mizuki connects with other trans ppl and finds a sense of solidarity#with ppl who mirror her own experiences with gender#niigo going to a pride parade.. mfy finding strength in knowing theres other ppl out there that defy their family to be themselves..#i think knd would know the least abt queer ppl bc shes been so Composingbrain but eager to understand to make songs that can save ppl..#like how her dad told her she needs to be more worldly to make good songs#ena i think would know what the average person knows but sososo glad to see mizuki happy and comfy
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as a man thing i genuinely hate men and want them dead
#personal#most annoying man ever doesn’t even just not move when ur walking opposite paths#he waits till you pivot one way to give him room and then after seeing you do that pivots the same way to force you to move :) again :)))))#how stupid and inconsiderate is that i’ve moved for you twice bc ur a fuckin idiot#like getting yelled at and followed by a random dude? whatever i’m laughing and taking selfies after#some fucker just. being so so so stupid. i become a misandrist#and no nuance men are just so annoying at all times#and unsafe#like who am i making safety plans for when im alone? it’s not the chicks!!!!!!#and god forbid you ask a man to use an ounce of emotional intelligence#when he could instead tell you how to fix ur problem that you obviously didn’t think of#put you down for having problems in the first place#or get violent bc you made them#feel less than perfect for a second#and women who coddle and further push men’s bullshit we need to talk to#like i don’t know what hispanic mother needs to hear this but ur son is pushing 30#he can box his own meal at a restaurant i fucking hope#and then they are just so god damn annoying bc if you’re not constantly reassuring them#over ANYTHING they’re like i’m bad at this im a bad person you hate me what’s wrong with you#GROW A BACK BONE AND BE OKAY ALONE AT THIS RATE YOU WILL DEFINITELY DIE ALONE!!! GET USED TO IT!!!!!!!!!
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So you know those people who make sad and/or snarky comments about their exes? Like "I don't need them, I'm so much happier now anyway" and "I miss them so much they meant so much to me" type of things
I have to focus so hsrd to not say stuff like that about Sherlock & Co. sometimes 😭😭😭
#Like I. Miss it so so much#And I wanna listen so bad#But it would never be the same I just couldn't#And it's like when u've been in a bad relationship without realizing#And then you get out and you notice all the little things?#I can't help but think abt all the ways this show has been ableist and racist since the start#And I'm like looking at myself after all this#I don't go anxiously thinking I'm misogynistic anymore bc now I'm actually engaging with content that isn't ashamed to put women in the#spotlight OFTEN#And I feel a lot better in general because I don't have any servers to anxiously check in on anymore#I can have a conversation now without having to fear ppl using words like “delulu” or whatever#Like I only hear “delusional” used incorrectly from youtubers rn#Which is so nice. I can be actually delusional in peace#And I'm not around white people who use AAVE like it's a competitive sport anymore 😭#I'm listening to a podcast that actually cares about it's viewers#Like I don't have to mentally prepare for the awful sounds#BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE#Like sorry not sorry but you don't need to give me 1000 headaches to portray that there was an explosion#Joel “I care about my autistic listeners” Emery and his team adding the most obnoxious beeps ever as often as possible#Joel “I care about my listeners” Emery and the lackluster fucking content warnings#You can warn me about the word “bugger” but not about graphic descriptions of animal harm?#Joel “I care about my autistic listeners” Emery telling his character to mask (it's ok though bc the character was being rude)#God forbid someone's disability makes them inconsiderate sometimes?#No but it's okay because “they talked about it” off screen#or. Off recording?#Whatevr
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Leviticus chapter 20 shook me to my core i have to pause this shit and go to bed.
#the stuff written within the bible/torah is sooooo. ummmmm#im very thankful catholic guilt no longer has any power over me because#in the throws of my spiritual awakening and turmoil had i read the sentence#any men or women who are mediums or spiritualists. shall be put to death#they shall be stoned and their blood will be on their own heads#right after saying that he is gifting the israelites this holy land and they shall drive out and kill all of the people already there#because they dont worship him spesifically and that makes him mad#spititualists and mediums would be able to call bullshit immediately and that makes him mad so therefore we should just#kill them on sight#wow!#this explains sooo much#he also thinks women who give birth have commited sin for doing so and by being on their period#conclusion? well according to the kama sutra#the closest a human can get to a god is by creating life#and according to my studies. that would piss off ol bible/torah god very much. like how dare you creat another free thinker by giving birth#sinful you are for several weeks#ESPECIALLY if you give birth to a daughter#god forbid. literally. also your husband needs to provide me sacrifices on your behalf for your sin of childbirth btw#im not gonna censor myself on what im reading because i dont care anymore#honest review this shit is insane
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The list of characters that Scott can and probably will make worse is growing so fucking fast and I fear for my life
(just me rambling about silly stuff in the tags because I'm happy and having fun)
#☆ in lesbians ; out of character#the upcoming osomatsu and scott interaction... jesus christ!!! those two are going to JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!!!!!!#then there's softie/benjamin this poor tortured soul who just got adopted from an alleyway by a complete fucking loser#i've also talked to someone about having him interact with arnold shortman. my god arnold and his five year old#and TAILS. okay well maybe that might go smoothly since they're both nerds but god forbid scott doesn't get any “bright ideas” fucking hell#weirdly enough the arnold one is the most hysterical scenario to me at the moment. scott is just a younger and better looking oskar to him.#arnold's job is solving everybody's problems i can only assume he's gonna need two therapists after meeting scott oh my god.#KEEP HIM ON A LEASH ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'd say sorry to osomatsu but i'm not#no to be honest i think i'm sorry to scott for once. GET AWAY FROM HIM HE'S ALREADY GOT DISCORD MOD QUALITIES HE DOESN'T NEED TO MEET ONE#ahhh i'm giggling so much i'm so excited#you guys are all so cool
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you guys know that phenomenon where dudes will be like "women aren't funny" but its just bc when a woman makes a joke they don't get it and take her seriously and just think she's like an idiot? like a woman will say smth silly as a joke and they'll just be like "smh you can't be serious you're so stupid" bc theyd rather think a woman is stupid than think that she's just saying it to be funny.
i feel like thats what happens in the reviews every time a woman tries to direct a campy b movie right now.
#look at the ratings of like. a cheesy b horror movie from the last couple years directed by a woman#vs directed by a man#the reviews for the ones by women are all like avg rating 1.8 stars plot holes the dialogue wasnt realistic its not an elevated drama#vs directed by a man its like avg 3.0 stars a fun romp a delightful ride packed with hilarity don't take it too seriously#with the bonus that usually the one by men is not actually even a fun romp it sucks#anyway. i think its the same as the women aren't funny thing.#the urge to just like dismiss women making things for fun and for camp to be like ACTUALLY THIS IS NOT GOOD BY SERIOUS STANDARDS#avpost#the only way they'll praise a woman's movie (that's not about male characters) is if its a flawless prestige drama#but women aren't allowed to make silly campy movies. at least not if it also is about women.#bc if you do that they will trash you for not making the next shawshank or some shit.#god forbid you be a woman having fun etc. they just cannot comprehend it#theyd rather believe you're an idiot who can't write. than to just believe that you made the movie to be a fun ride.#and the best that we fans of these movies can hope for is that they get the jennifers body treatment in 10 years and become beloved later#yknow after many years of being trashed unfairly for liking them. ive had dudes harass me on lbxd for defending some of these lmao
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i appreciate how fierce you are in your slander against blood libel the game. costing peace of mind to lead this battle, defending jewish and trans people along the way. you're doing amazing <3
anon i love you for real. this is very sweet, thank you 🖤 happy to delete stupid transphobic shit from my inbox for at least the sake of making sure my blog is a safe space for my trans and jewish mutuals if they didn't know that already. i'm carrying such an indescribable amount of anger over this so if you see me devolve into incoherent violence in the next few days just try and be niceys to me for a little bit haha <3
#thank you for real though. i'm holding anger but also so much... grief. after brianna's murder on saturday.#even if fucking nobody else says something i /have/ to say something because i know the fucking damage shit like this is doing#and i won't be gaslit about it OR goaded into betraying the people that i am an ally to.#the transphobic comments and anons are really whatever i can delete and block and all that.#but brianna's death... god. i've just been crying a lot these past few days so. nice to get a nice message <3#i will never stop being a fierce slanderer of any of this bullshit. all of this is only making me angrier and stronger in that anger#and fuck anyone who's like 'oh you're not gonna get through to anyone in that way'#god fucking forbid i be angry about the damage being done to my community and the CALLOUS disregard for it from EVERYONE fucking else.#god fucking forbid i point out the damage being done to communities that i care about because they're human fucking beings.#anyway. much much love to you. i hope you and yours are well#<3#ask
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So I'll preface this saying I do not judge people in 24/7 dynamics, it's your life, your relationship, your kink, this is just me rambling about my own
I am absolutely baffled I spent most of the first decade of my adult life craving and chasing a 24/7 dynamic as a sub
Like... i remember reading some post somewhere as a very young adult some lady wrote about her kinky relationship and about how "I have a dom, not a boyfriend" and proceeding to just describe a totally normal boyfriend who in any other context would just come across as controlling
And i wanted that?
Like idk if it's just the ~trauma~ of my ex controlling my life so thoroughly in every way I did not want whoever refusing to engage in kink at all with me
Or me being more aware of my own wants and needs
But like the idea of someone even suggesting that type of dynamic to me now makes me absolutely violent and as unattracted to them as humanly possible
I love the idea of temporarily giving up control, maybe having established rules outside of the bedroom to help with my autism/anxiety and make it more fun than just "hey you have to remember to x, y or z" i like collars and i love all of the kinks i participate in
But i just can't get over how... frankly repulsed I am at 24/7 dynamics at this point?
Like there's nothing wrong with it, and im thinking this has to be a trauma thing because if everyone involved truly consented to the situation what should it matter to me that someone pretends to be a slave or pet or whatever 24/7? I've been heavily involved in kink for a decade now, i KNOW it's not inherently abuse, but my body and mind are reacting to it like it is and it's really spoiling a LOT of kink stuff for me at this point, like I'll be ready a kinky scene and super into it and then somewhere it's established this is a full time dynamic and it's like there's a big pit in my stomach im somehow falling into
Can't it be enough for me to decide i don't like something brain? Why do we have to become repulsed about them
#seriously im not yucking anyones yum#you do you#after typing this out i really think this is just unresolved bitterness at my ex#like oh sure you can control my appearance to suite you such as not allowing me to cut my hair#but god forbid you so much as get me a collar or pick a date night outfit or engage in a single kink of mine in our 5 years together#we had sex like twice a year and i was rhe main breadwinner who did all the cooking and cleaning and what the FUCK did i get out of it?#trauma and having several kinks of mine spoiled potentialt forever#thanks a lot fuckwad
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i dont even know how to feel my own emotions thanks to my parents
#being sad is so hard for me#bc everytime i was sad or crying they would hit me or yell at me bc how dare i be sad#called ungrateful overdramatic told im embarrassing them completely no regard for how I'M feeling#my feelings were never ever validated never. i could say i wanna kill myself and they would be like okay#just so many memories of being degraded and hit in front of other people. i cant believe so many people and no one said anything did anythi#my only relief from them is when shes on the phone or theres someone else in the house that she doesnt wanna be violent in front of#although i can vaguely remember times when she hit me after getting off the phone but dont remember why#thats why im so good at hearing subtle noises and spotting details#always on high alert mode incase she comes in and sees me on my phone bc god forbid#thats a death sentence lmao#she really made it seem like i was committing a heinous crime bc i was texting or on instagram or watching something#she would beat me SO MUCH AND SO BAD for USING MY PHONE#constantly. from the moment i got it at 11 until i ran away at 17#i had no privacy anywhere not in the house and not on my phone#once she found a text saying to someone that my mom fucked up my day#and she wouldnt shut up about it for months but did she ever actually think ab the text itself#like did she ever consider how she was making us feel treating us likethat#she doesnt give a shit she only does what she thinks is right and fuck everyone else#and the audacity of this woman to be upset i told her to stop texting me bitch ur lucky im not going over there and setting ur house on fir#and the AUDACITY of every relative and mysister telling me TO BE NICE TO HER#it makes me sofucking mad. be nice to her? would u be nice to a nazi ?#telling me to be nice to the woman who has been beating me and degrading me since i was 4#classic abuser behavior lmao . im gonna keep making u miserable but if u say or do anything about it youre a fucking terrible person#and i still feel bad even though i shouldnt#jsut cuz shes older now and weaker doesnt mean shit#its the same woman who did all that and never fucking apologized even#i wish they would leave my head i wish they could just stop existing and my childhood wasnt just bunch of terrible memories#she would belittle all my friends and put ideas in my head that none of them cared about me and they saw me as less#if someone gave me books shed be like oh look theyrenot even new books#🧃
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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