#while they let ollie fail and be kind of bad at stuff

[theflashjaygarrick]

My hot take is that while everyone talks about Batman being the ordinary human on the justice league with the way he's been written lately that descriptor only feels true with Green Arrow.

[mwolf0epsilon]

No 25 with Olly :3

Whumptober Day 25: Silence is Golden

Prompt: Lost Voice & "You better start talking."

Summary: Olly was already quiet by nature. After Umbara however, his silence was less of a choice and more of a sign of amounting grief... There's only so much one person can bottle up before they inevitably explode.

[Friend you have opened the floodgates. I've been dying to write Olly trying and failing to process losing both Lich and PB at the same time for ages now! Sorry Rhythm and Dogma...]

THIS STORY IS ON AO3

---

As soon as both the 212th and 501st landed back on Coruscant post their Umbara campaign, Olly and his batchmates were supposed to hang out. Meet up at 79's like usual to catch up. Instead of doing that however the riot trooper is called in to accompany a prisoner escort.

He expected another Separatist POW that would likely never see the light of day ever again (so many of them were met with "unfortunate accidents" while in Republic custody). Maybe even an Umbaran general who'd refused to back down in the face of defeat. Olly was surprised to see Dogma in binders instead.

Something bad had happened.

He did not know what, but Olly was fairly certain it had to be something of an utmost shocking nature if someone like Dogma (a passionately loyal young clone who would rather die than commit treason of any kind) had ended up in Republic custody to be tried (and most likely executed) for whatever crime he'd enacted.

At the time he'd been annoyed at the unexpected occurrence, but he'd assumed his brothers would understand why he had to put off the meetup for now. He thought the trip to 79's would happen some other night. Only realized later, after he'd sneaked down to visit Dogma at his cell to ask what had happened, that that wouldn't be the case.

Lich and PB were gone. One KIA, the other MIA. Taken by Umbara and it's madness.

Needless to say Olly hadn't taken the news well...

Melancholy had hit him fairly hard. So much so that overtime it had shortened the riot trooper's vocabulary considerably. Olly had never been very chatty, that was more his brothers' thing, so the difference wasn't really noticeable at first.

The last few words he spoke before he'd fallen into complete mutism were to Mae and Red Alert.

Harrowing words about Dogma's fate that he'd only known about because he was always the perfect security detail for private Senate hearings. Words of affirmation towards his superior officer over whether or not he'd heard his directions perfectly. Sad or not, he'd never been sloppy when he did his job.

After that he spoke less and less, until suddenly he'd become this silent wall that just kept going and going and letting everyone else talk around him.

If his opinion was missed, no one really spoke up about it. Tall and muscular as he was, Olly prided himself in being able to hide in plain sight like that. Most of everyone's attention was on helping Dogma adjust to the Guard anyway. The poor kid's rescue and subsequent assimilation had been a dizzying affair after all.

The frontie needed the help more than Olly needed pity over his losses.

Days went by. Then weeks. And then even a couple of months. In all that time Olly hadn't uttered a single word to anyone. Made himself scarce with how much work he'd taken on. With how many extra shifts he'd picked up to keep himself nice and busy.

There was a tightness to his throat that he couldn't really bother to talk around anyway. It didn't bother him as much as the constant aches and pains that crept up whenever he least needed them to, but it was still a bit of a heavy weight that sometimes felt like it extended to his chest cavity. A hollow sort of feeling.

As long as he was still standing, Olly did not care.

There was a lot to be done and the Guard couldn't afford for him to grow lazy just because he was feeling sorry for himself. And honestly it felt good to not have to think about... Stuff... So long as he mindlessly went about things he didn't have to stop and be left alone with his thoughts.

He would not allow himself to crumble.

Olly's routine became nothing if not a metronome. Every single action predicted, precise, regular. Wake up, eat, avoid the rest of the Guard, work, shower, eat, sleep.

No time for socialization of any kind. He'd just ruin the mood anyway... No time for guitar practice. No tunes came to him these days... No time for dancing. He was too tired to move...

No time for anything that brought him any sense of joy. Olly was not allowed to feel joy.

Not without Lich and PB who'd done everything so that he could live past cadethood. His ori'vode deserved happiness more than he did, after being so kind and selfless despite it affecting their scores. To allow himself some minuscule crumb of merriment would be nothing short of insulting. A tremendous betrayal to the memory of his brothers.

Olly didn't deserve joy. Olly didn't deserve to weep. Olly had done nothing remotely as heroic and worthy of praise as his brothers had out in the frontlines.

He was as much of a tool as the shield he carried on his arm. Tools did not have emotions. Especially not ones that should be talked about, before they threatened to boil over and leak out of him like liquid fire.

Inevitably that was what happened. Olly had to reach his limit. And it happened when Dogma had to come to him as unexpectedly as the first time after Umbara. No longer a dead man walking resigned to a fate worse than death.

The kid had become the Guard's archivist. He was well aware of where everyone was at all times. All the paperwork passed through his computer terminal. So when he showed up with his datapad and confronted him about Olly's recent workload?

Well... Olly never did like getting told to take it easy...

He'd snapped. The riot trooper had stared hard at the shorter kih'vod and he'd just been hit by a wave of something absolutely horrid that overtook his mind. Something that had coiled itself around his heart and gnawed away at it for a long time now...

The lump in his throat vanished and he'd poured every single drop of poison into the words that he'd mercilessly tossed at Dogma. Told him every thing the 501st had muttered about him that night when he'd been in a cell, miserably awaiting his sentence. Told him how his batchmate, his twin, had seemingly agreed with all of those vile cruel things.

Let them all say he'd been Krell's bitch in more ways that one.

The destroyed look on his little brother's face had made Olly immediately regret opening his damn mouth. But he couldn't unsay what he'd said. Instead he'd gone quiet again as he watched the archivist run away from him, clearly upset with what he'd been so callously told.

Hours later Rhythm, absolutely seething no doubt, cornered him in the bathroom. Their argument was almost just as ugly as all the things he'd said to Dogma.

"You're acting like a kriffing asshole! I barely even recognize you anymore!" The communications officer shrieked at him. "What the hell were you even thinking saying all that crap to Dogma?! He's never done anything to you!"

"Get the hell out of my face!" He hated yelling. Olly had always hated yelling but he felt trapped and far too angry not to. His head was pounding and the hollow feeling in his chest now felt like a steady burn. "Leave me alone!"

"No! Something's wrong with you and I'm not leaving until you get back into your right mind!" Rhythm blocked the door, arms and legs planted firmly on the door-frame so he couldn't pass through.

"Rhythm get out of my way!" His legs were shaking. He needed out, he needed air, he needed to be anywhere but here right now. "I won't warn you twice!"

"Olly just talk to me! Ever since Lichtenberg and Pretty Boy went, you haven't--"

Rhythm crumpled like a wet paper towel the moment he got hit in the face. It wasn't hard to take him down, especially considering Olly far outweighed him when he was only in his officer fatigues.

Olly hadn't hit a brother since he'd lost his temper at Red Alert. That had only happened because he'd been besides himself with worry, not out of anger. Never out of anger.

Seeing his closest friend and vod on the floor, slowly sitting up with a bloodied nose and a quickly swelling eye, made his blood turn to ice in his veins.

Afraid and ashamed, he began to hyperventilate.

"Olly... Olly no, no breathe!" Rhythm, despite having every reason to be pissed off about getting wrongfully punched, instead scrambled onto his feet and moved over to help pick him up off the floor.

When had he ended up on the floor? He could have sworn he'd been standing. It was too hard to think. He felt too warm.

"Olly, I need you to breath. In and out, slowly..." Rhythm instructed carefully. His grip on the riot trooper's arm tightening when he responded by covering his ears and closed his eyes, curling in on himself as tightly as he could. "Please... Please vod. In and out... In and out... Please..."

"I'm sorry..."

"None of that... Breathing first. Talking later." Rhythm insisted. His voice sounded a little strained.

"I hit you..."

"Please Olly..."

He complied. If only so he didn't have to hear Rhythm sound so sad for him. After what he'd just done he didn't deserve that from the communications officer.

He didn't deserve any kindness from the rest of the Guard after he'd both verbally assaulted Dogma and then physically attacked Rhythm.

"You've been bottling it up, haven't you?" Gentle fingers brushed away the tears (he'd started crying? Why wasn't he aware of anything happening to him right now?) that were dripping down his face. The shiner his friend (did he deserve to still call Rhythm his friend?) would likely sport for the next could of weeks was probably going to look horrendous. "Ever since you got the news... Did you even let yourself stop and mourn?"

"PB isn't dead..." He'd deserted. Because Lich was dead. Pretty Boy had packed up and gone off during all of the confusion. Left him behind to deal with... With all of it.

And that had hurt more than Lich dying. Which was such a stupid feeling. One ori'vod was dead, the other was alive. Why did it hurt more that PB had left?

"Doesn't matter. Him not being here still hurts." Rhythm pointed out. He still looks sad. Olly hates seeing that expression on the cheery little di'kut's face "Did you stop to process any of this? Or did you just... Did you just keep going until you couldn't anymore?"

"What else should I have done? Nothing I can do... I can't save Lich and I can't bring PB back..." He closed his eyes again. Tired. Hateful towards his inability to do anything in the position he was. What good was all his strength if he couldn't protect his batch?

"You could have talked with someone..." Rhythm sighed.

"Like you talk about Chord?" Olly snapped back, glaring slightly at his kih'vod. He looked away once more when he felt the other wince.

"Ok, ouch, but touché..." The longer haired clone conceded. "Look... I'm... I know I have a lot of nerve saying this considering I've had trouble with my grief as well... But... And what I am trying to say is... I just..."

Rhythm chuckled bitterly.

"Kriff we're both a mess aren't we?" he shook his head, seeming to be slightly amused with all this. "Olly... You're always there for me. For all of us even. You are always there trying to make sure everyone is ok."

"It's my job."

"You know your job is riot control and security detail." Rhythm shushed him. "Looking out for your vode isn't your job... You just do it because you care. You've got a great big heart in that broad chest of yours, and we all love you for it..."

"Some great big heart I have..." Olly huffed. "I basically told Dogma his twin called him a whore..."

"And I'm still mad at you for it. But I know you didn't mean to." Rhythm flicked him on the nose before carrying on. "The pressure built up and you burst like a can of those weird nasty sodas you like so much."

His sodas were NOT nasty. Just a little spicy. Everything was better with a bit of a kick and a burn to it.

"The point is...We know you haven't been doing great, and when Dogma told us what you said, we were honestly shocked that it was bad enough that'd you'd lash out like that..." Rhythm continued. "We thought maybe you needed space when you stopped talking... But I guess we just helped make you feel worse by not pushing you to talk about what you were feeling... You lost two batchmates Olly. We should have done more for you."

"I..."

"We should have." Rhythm stamped his foot defiantly. "You can deny it all you want, say we don't have to do diddly squat for you, but the Guard looks out for its own. We always have..."

"I don't deserve it."

"You do. You deserve to be looked after just as much as you try to look after everyone else..." Rhythm knelt down and hugged him. The steadily forming bruise over his eye was in fact quite ugly. The trickle of blood coming from his nose was slowly stopping at least.

".... You should probably go to the medbay. Your nose looks broken..." He hid his face in the crook of Rhythm's neck and clung to him miserably. "I think the medics are going to be angry..."

"More at me than at you... I kinda did corner you in a bathroom." Rhythm shrugged nonchalantly. "It's probably not as bad as it looks."

"It looks awful."

"What? My pretty face? Awful?" His kih'vod grinned. "Never!"

"Little gods, just shut up already..."

"Only if you promise to talk to me about it." Rhythm stuck his tongue out at Olly. "And you better start talking."

"Fine..." He wouldn't right now. But maybe later, once the medics (and likely Fox) told him off for his poor behavior, he might consider it. Also after he apologized to Dogma. He owed it to the kid.

Olly definitely owed Rhythm a cuddle as well.

[monster-bcrn]

SPOOKY’S 100 FOLLOWER SHOUTOUT!

Okay for real this is the fastest growing blog I’ve ever had hehehe. Never expected Grundy to get this popular this quickly!

Freaking love this zombaby and I’m so glad y’all love him too! As promised, gonna shout out some fantabulous bloggos that helped get Grundy to where he is today. XD

@akasupergirl/ @azombieme (I FREAKING ADORE GRUNDY AND KARA AND LIV. I swear Grundy’s loyal to Kara like he was to Shayera and Jade and Liv is totally his baby sister and is gonna protect her from.....everything. :P

Even pigeons, because they’re legion.)

@thecatgoddessbast (A blast from the past! Glad to see you again after I rampaged and caused chaos as a certain deranged pincushion of a mushroom way back in the time before present. XD

Now I get to do that as a zombie. :D Win/win!)

@starcityvigilante (OLLIE. FFFFFF-okay for real I’m HYPED to plot wacky ideas with you. Grundy has a MASSIVE grudge against Green Arrow and I’m like......*push these two together* you both get along right now.)

@folcire (We literally just started talking and I’m loving your Ivy already! Can’t wait to see how Grundy grows to see her the more he talks to her because they’re both sassy plant people that way. XD)

@themartlans (FFFFFF-J’ONN. Everyone’s favorite green uncle :D I freaking adore him and I HATE how the most he ever interacted with Grundy was him being tossed into the bay. >_<

They really need to talk more, and MAN! That Injustice verse of yours is SICK. Definitely hyped for making Grundy into an insurgent and a good zombie instead of Supes’ lapdog.

( Look at this face....LOOK AT IT.)

@blackwingsbluedings (One of the best Dick Grayson’s out there and definitely loving seeing Grundy be less smash and more “......hug?” They both need hugs I swear.)

@marvelousdamsels (We haven’t talked much but I adore your muses and I just hope Grundy doesn’t come off as too weird or clingy.......wait.......that’s......literally Grundy.....

:D)

@theirfirstexperiment (GRUNDY ON A RAMPAGE YOOOOOO! Better run fast. XD)

@amazonexile/ @gothamprens/ @captainstevertrevor ( Freaking love your muses and I love seeing Diana and Bruce actually WANT to help Grundy. It’s too easy just beating on Grundy and I love seeing them actually bother to try to get to the gentler side of the Hulk’s crazy cousin. XD)

@justiceebound / @nighttfight ( *slams fist on the table* YOU ARE AWESOME! Your Shayera is awesome, your Bruce is a national treasure and I can’t wait to throw Grundy at Supes and Diana, because these guys need a big reconciliation thing after all the chaos from literal years of slugging it out.

And I LOVE it. >:D)

@ofamazonia 

@theamazondiana   (Both of you are AWESOME Wonder Women and MAN I love plotting ideas. I’m tired of seeing Diana being turned into too much of a warrior while negating her role as a peace-maker and y’all NAIL her kindness and wisdom and need to give everyone a chance. Freaking LOVE IT!)

@raininginkyxto (LOL I always love imagining Grundy in Marvel and now poor Weasel is kind of stuck with him. XD Man, if the Hulks meet Grundy then that poor bar is going to really get smashed.....)

@notatomo (GIANT. Man I loved that movie as a kid and I LOVE the subsequent giant robot and tiny kid works inspired from it (example being the CRIMINALLY under-appreciated Sentinel series by UDON.) Can’t wait to see what happens when Grundy talks more to someone bigger than him. XD)

@liminalstctic (GRUNDY HEARTS TINY GIRL. XD Yeah he’s trying his hardest to help her. ;A;)

@dolceclavier

@gobsnacc

@adrenalinesaint

@ninelivesruined

@yellowskinnedwackyman  (CREEPER! I’ll forever ADORE these two butts because they’re team Tree Lobsters.)

@collidingxworlds/ @thecursedhellblazer (I. Love. Your. Constantine. I swear I have so much fun writing Grundy trying to get drunk (and failing) and learning to cuss up a storm while still being a mad lad ready to throw down with mega-zombies to protect his tiny friend.

DC, make this friendship canon or so help me Grodd...)

@chaosmultiverse (I love your Klarion so much! He’s so much fun! XD And Teekl for the epic win!)

@raichoose (Herbert West and Solomon Grundy? THAT aIN’T GOOD! D:>)

@gctjinxd (Freaking LOVE your Jinx! LOL how she manipulates Freeze and how Grundy isn’t even REMOTELY phased by her powers. Like he is TOUGH. Even bad luck won’t stop him.)

@killcrcroc (BIG BAD KILLER CROC! I love your Waylon and I adore how he has a collection of watches and that awesome suit. XD Croc definitely deserves more love since he’s much smarter than he looks, and tough enough to even get Grundy to back down in a serious fight.)

@babydxhl (Baby Doll is criminally underappreciated and I love how she’s the opposite to Grundy. She looks child-like but is very crafty, mature and knows how to get what she wants, while Grundy is physically strong and big enough to bully his way into anything he wants, but is very simple and child-like and would rather watch the birds. XD)

@theednygma (An awesome Ed Nygma and I love how Grundy is so unsure of everything yet still goes along for the ride as a support. XD)

@sleightlyoffhand (BUNNY MAN! Okay the idea of Josiah monching on carrots in Grundy’s pocket makes me smile so much. XD)

@thanagrian (BIRD-NOSE! Honestly every time I think of Grundy and Shayera I get the feels big time. These two definitely deserved more than just two episides to give them a unique friendship.

(I love that STAR Labs mission so much in Injustice. XD)

@the-arkham-librarian ( I love Eliza so much! She’s crafty, stubborn, sweet and kind and just cares about everyone so much when few don’t. Grundy grew so attached to her I swear she’s like his little sister at this point. XD And he’s totes the best uncle along with Eddie.)

@fatherdamned ( I LOVE YOUR RIDDLER OMG! He’s so snarky but man he is SO DAMN FUN to write with! Grundy is there for his green friend, no matter what!)

@fartemis-crockpot

( I freaking LOVE Artemis and Grundy, especially in the Injustice Society stuff. Yeah Grundy’s been a butt before but he genuinely likes and cares about her and the rest of the team and I’m like....

Look at these bunch of a-holes. Yeah they’re a family and even if they’re bad.....they’ve got each other. And that’s what counts. C:)

@powerhours/ @lastofmars (Green dad? Green dad. I love your J’onn so much and I’m like *throws Grundy at green dad* Here give this disaster some love. XD)

@gothamdad (YET ANOTHER AWESOME BATMAN. :D)

@redsleuthed (TIM! I love Tim and I swear these two should talk more because Grundy doesn’t WANT to fight and I think just letting someone hear him out would help him immensely.

Plus that stuff with Freeze? Poetic cinema.)

@themusespace

@12thlevel​ (On this blog we stan socially awkward green boi with angery grandpa genius mastermind. XD)

@pluckyingenue

@seekthedarknesswithin (SHADE! I love Shade in Justice League where he constantly throws Shade at everyone so you can imagine how excited I was to see Shade on Tumblr! We haven’t done much but man.....even Grundy was excited to see an old friend from the Injustice Society/ Injustice Gang.)

@youstolemycoat (Okay, hands down, Nick Necro is so much fun to plot with. His Robin verse is so fun too and poor Grundy tries to help but a certain birdy won’t let him. XD)

@ufotm (Tiny alien baby. :3)

@thetrigonborn

@kitfreeman

@partcfyouruniverse/ @diamondcladclown ( An awesome mun and my goodness her Harley is EPIC! I love the metas about Harley too and you just GET HER. And that????? Is the sign of an excellent writer and mun.)

@bigbadkillercroc ( I love your Croc and the brotherly bond he has with Grundy! It’s so refreshing to see these two bonding instead of Grundy tearing off Waylon’s face like he did in the Solomon Grundy mini-series. :C)

@blizzardmuses (I LOVE YOUR MUSES OMG. Your Batgirl?????? I ADORE HER. I love Freeze as a member of the Birds of Prey and I love tossing Grundy at your muses because the guy needs love and an excuse to smash.....and I really love both lol.)

@starfirechan (You’re Starfire is so freaking CUTE! I love how she and Grundy get along so well since they’re kind of two misfits that aren’t very well-versed in city life. XD)

@gotham-crusader/ @maximummuses (One of the best Batman and Damian Wayne RPers out there! I have a lot of fun with our threads and even if they fizzle out there is so much heart to them that they’re some of my absolute favorites no matter what muse I put on. C:)

@teufortsquidman (PRAWN! Okay, a giant mega-zombie and an Eldritch abomination? Yeah they’re gonna be good pals lol. XD)

@tragedybcrn (Hands down one of the BEST Batman RPers I’ve talked to and plotted with. I love how Bruce helps Freeze and even Grundy try to be better than just crooks. Grundy though has had so many bad experiences that he can’t trust anyone anymore unless there is some SERIOUS help. But he’ll learn to at least try to trust Batman.....because Batman was genuinely nice to him.)

@krygothite ( I freaking LOVE your Bane! We haven’t written much but FFFFF0yeah he’s epic. XD And Grundy is kind of nervous about bringing Bane to Slaughter Swamp because Bane is tough but not kaiju-sized gators and snakes tough....

Or....maybe he is.....let’s test him. >:D)

@batvvmn

@redwinefangs (VAmpire Batman? Vampire Batman. We have an epic trifecta of vampire Bats, Freezy-wolf and zombaby Grundy and I LOVE it. These three are so much fun to plit ideas around. XD)

@bclaur

@stcrshnes

@titanicscionofthestars ( I freaking LOVE Sara! All across my blogs I love her and the way you write her! And I swear her reaction to Grundy being impaled????? MY HEART. ;A;)

@jcinthedance  (JERVIS! Okat for real I love the image of Hatter and Grundy just enjoying a tea party at the asylum and being weird dorks. XD)

@adventurepunks (I absolutelky LOVE your Zatanna! She’s so fun and I’d love to plot more with her! :D)

@shesquiinnsane

@laughter-in-white (YOU????? Are??? Like the BEST Joker. Hands down. Your Croptop J is so much fun to plot with and he’s funny and being dramatic for Bats. And Grundy is like ‘yeah he’s crazy but he’s my crazy.’)

@yourfavoritesidekick

@smartvulpix (* glomps on you for being epic*)

@thehouseofivo (Your Freeze and Julian are AWESOME! Love throwing my guys at them both lol)

@lil-miss-romano

@sweet-tea-solly

@slauhter

@occultsleuth

@wiisectrpillar

@wonderlandcarpenter

@gunborn

[shinymooncolor]

I’m so sorry for how long this has been taking!! Work is just stupid 😖

Anyways.

As always @lumosinlove’s sweater weather is the shit.

Sweater weather chat #8

Nado has kinky food sex. Timmy’s words. Not mine. Dolores is the best car. Olli feels bad. Remus is sarcastic af. But I love him. So does Sirius. And Dumo. Sergei talks about the good old days. James organizes a prank.

—

Tuesday 9.32 pm

Nado: hey k, where’s the whipped cream? Kinda important here

Kuny: what? I eat it

Nado: wait the whole thing? I NEED it

Kuny: I eat with Timmy and Olli. We have pancake

Nado: fuck they’re here now?

Kuny: little left want it?

Nado: fuck just put it on the stairs and don’t look. I’ll come get it

Kuny: hehe food sex. Hot

Nado: shut up

——

Tuesday 9.44 pm

Timmyforrealz: oiii!!! Guess who’s being kinky with food sex tonight

Prongstar: what? Who? Olli? 😳😳😳😳

Ollibear: no.

KrisVolley: do we want to know?

RussianGod: Nado play with food haha

Blizzard: Are you all involved? Is it an orgy kind of thing? I’m a little concerned at your level of involvement here

Dumodad: I’m too old for this

Timmyforrealz: it’s Tuesday we’re having halo night. Nado bailed for some date. Our resident giant Russian baby suddenly had pancake cravings so we went out to get chocolate chips. When we got back Dolores was back and there was a nice trail of clothes leading upstairs. 😏

Ollibear: that was a lot of unnecessary commentary. Nado picked up a girl and is mad at kuny for eating the can of whipped cream haha. Also we hid his clothes and stole his car keys.

Blizzard: I don’t believe you.

Kaneyoudigit: hahahahahah blizzard will need photographic evidence. 😂

Ollibear: there’s nothing to prove. Nado is having food sex and we’re playing halo. The only other exciting thing was Kuny’s mom calling to yell at him for getting that 5 minute misconduct for that last sucker punch. Apparently it was unnecessary and he should know better. It was fun.

Sergei_81: so no orgy? 👀 also Kuny’s mama is scary. She used to play hockey.

Ollibear: no Sergei. Also you’re a dad and old. This is weird . But yeah she’s terrifying. But she called me an angel so I’ll take it as a compliment 😇

Sunnysideup: leave Sergei alone! I’ll have you youngsters know that your shenanigans is nothing compared to the shit we used to pull. Just ask dumo about Prague! 😂🙈

Sergei_81: I still have scar on my face hehe

Prongstar: WHAT HAPPNEED IN PRAGUE???

Dumodad: that, my dear James, is between me, sunny, Sergei and the Czech.

Sunnysideup: good ol’ days. 🤣

Prongstar: I will not rest till I know.

——

Tuesday 10.27 pm

James created new group chat

James added Kuny, Sirius, Walker, Dumo, Olli, Timmers and Remus to the group chat

James named the group chat let’s WHIP Nado

James: heheheh so. I just had an excellent prank idea. Given Nado’s newfound appreciation for canned whipped cream 🥴🥴

Remus: why am I part of this?

Sirius: why am I?

Dumo: shush lovebirds and let the man speak 😙

James: many thanks dad! Alright listen up you ruffians - we’re gonna order him a massive order of whipped cream delivered to the rink and then we’re gonna fill up his stall with the cans. And charge it to his own card. 😏

Olli: are you spraying it onto the stall?

James: no but that is an excellent idea!!

Olli: I just though in his helmet, his gloves and you know how fussy he is with his gear. Haha that’d be fun.

Walker: who are you? And what have you done with our precious innocent Ollibear?😍🙊

Timmers: oi just because he looks like a saint doesn’t mean he is one. He’s a little shit.

Sirius: I’m impressed. But why not both? If he thinks the prank is just the massive amount, he won’t suspect the other stuff. 😜

Kuny: remmy can put in his gloves on ice also go cap

James: nah that’s too easy. I have a plan. So. I’m gonna fake a crash with walker - remmy will pull us both off. Kuny you then have to drag Nado into a stupid bet where he leaves his helmet and gloves. Sirius and dumo will fill them by the bench while we three go mad in his stall hehehehe. 😈😈

Kuny: ok. But no whip on Dolores she not been bad. I challenge to handstand on ice

Dumo: not a bad plan. Although you are both oddly committed to that car.

Kuny: she good car. 🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎

Remus: I don’t wanna be part of this. 🙈

James: I didn’t hear that. Ok you all got it?

Walker: ohh sounds fun!!! What’s Olli and timmers job?

Timmers: lookin’ good baby 😘

James: you always do honey! But timmers is the most important - you still have his card details from when you had to run out and buy him clothes when that girl stole his. You need to order and setup the delivery 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Remus: I’m not happy with this. It’s messy. And the poor gloves

Kuny: ha ha not worry remmy gloves have seen badder things 😛

Sirius: we don’t want to know. 😖

Wednesday 8.33 am

James: good morning my fellow pranksters. Behold - the whipped cream bonanza is on the horizon. Everyone know what they’re doing?

Olli: we just charged a ridiculous amount of money for overnight shipping of whipped cream. I don’t even know how timmers did it. It’s a lot of money. 😖

Remus: oh if only you were all hockey millionaires......😳

Dumo: 😂 oh remus I love you!

Sirius: hands off dumo. You got Celeste.

Remus: I love you too dumo. But the vein on pads forehead is not looking good. Lay off

Timmers: ohhhh you don’t wanna share remmy????????? You know he’s seen us all naked a lot. He had to do physio on Kuny when he pulled his groin a few months ago. Also that was not an ice injury - I still want to know what happened 👀👀👀

Kuny: heheheh eheheh not tell 😛😛😛😛

Olli: timmy lay off. We’ve all seen Kuny naked and not just in the showers. I believe Russians are allergic to clothes. And don’t tease cap.

Sirius: thanks Olli. I knew you had my back.

Remus: Kuny’s excessive nudity aside. Are you sure this is a good idea? He’s going to be pissed 😬

Timmers: Olli!!! I thought you were my best friend and brother 😭 you wound me

Olli: shut up and gear up. It’s suspicious we’re all texting and I swear to god @kuny stop giggling like a girl. He knows something is up. He’s trying to read over your shoulder 🤣

Kuny: oh I fix this 😈👻

James: okay lets move. Kuny got him in a headlock. Great job buddy. Let’s just wait till he’s dragged him out of the locker room.

——-

Wednesday 2.11 pm

Nadotheman: you are ALL fucking dickheads. I’ll give you the fucking massive box of whipped cream was fun. But whoever thought it was funny to put in my gloves is dead. I will find you and I will kill you. 😡

Prongstar: whatever do you mean, dear boy? 😇

Nadotheman: fuck off you jerk. I KNOW you were part of this. And I know mr the English language fails me when convenient over there was too 😡

RussianGod: Nado is mad.😂🙈

Blizzard: I swear the video of you is golden. That’s going on YouTube and it’s gonna be an instant hit. 🤪

Eliascookie: I just loved how he pulled on one glove and then the next. Like it wouldn’t be there too?

Nadotheman: i swear to fucking Godzilla if anyone put this on Dolores I’ll cut of your dick and shove it in your ear.

Bradygunz: calm down. You’re such a diva. Also how would that work?

Nadotheman: am not. And shut up. It’s a metaphor

Dumodad: yes. Now shush and let’s watch the tape. Coach is talking 🤓

KrisVolley: that’s a bad metaphor. 🤓

——

Wednesday 2.33 pm

Nado: hey Remus. I wanna get back at them. Can I have some tiger balm?

Remus: no. You’re not doing that one. It’s bad. And that’s not funny.

Nado: I wasn’t going to. Just okay fine but I wanna get back at them? Who did it. I know James and kunty but. Who else?

Remus: I don’t wanna be involved in your prank war ☺️ and I would make sure to check your credit statement

Nado: pleaseeee.

Nado: waIT WHAT? You weRE IN ON THIS? Remus??!!!!!! I thought we were firendsss

Remus: I have no idea what you’re talking about 😆

Nado: 😳😳😳😳😳😳 first Olli now you. Is no one safe in this world anymore? I swear if the two of you ganged up. We’d not stand a chance.

——

[unsaidmar]

One, The meeting.

Plot: Both Spencer and Olivia mourn their losses. Maybe doing it together works best.

WC: 2k, I get carried away.

CW: Brief mentions of death.

A/N: Hi y’all! I’m very excited to share this. I submitted it for a creative writing assignment last week and I thought I would share it here too. This is the first time I post what I write and I kinda want to make this a series.

Olivia knew pain was lighter on the shoulders when carried with someone else, she was completely aware of the fact that pushing her friends and loved ones away was the last thing you’d want to do when grieving. Didn’t stop her, though. Opening up was a conscious effort she had to make.  

Lia had been gone exactly 467 days. Each one harder, longer and duller than the last.  Her mom had told her that pain didn’t have an expiration date, that she shouldn’t worry about getting over Lia’s death sooner than she was ready to, but nothing could help the feeling in the back of her mind, the little voice that reminded her that the world did not stop spinning when she left. Even if she felt like it did.

Mornings were almost automatic at this point. Get up, make an effort to look better, grab an excuse for breakfast, promise mamá you’ll get something else on the way to work, drive mindlessly to the place you knew like the back of your hand. The Grey Roots was special, it seemed to transform people’s perspective as soon as they walked in, it was full of memories and knowledge. That much was true for Spencer Reid.

Maeve had been gone exactly 278 days. Each one harder, longer and duller than the last. The team did their best to navigate around Spencer’s grief, always taking hints the he dropped. A fake smile that meant “we can ignore my loss today”, a shrug accompanied with the ghost of a smile that meant “today I’m feeling better, but I’m not expecting it to last”, and the words “I’m fine, I promise”, that roughly translated to “this is manageable today, so don’t ask me about it”.

The love and sense of protection the BAU had over Spencer was instinctual, which was hard when he seemed to be a thousand miles away while standing right there. Morgan had said that if isolation was what he needed right now, isolation he was going to get, but always with the promise of his friends running straight to him if he needed the comfort.

On his days off, he tried coming to terms with the loss. Loss was a tricky thing, Spencer thought. By definition, it was the state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value, so if it meant the absence of something, why did it feel like loss went with him everywhere?

The Grey Roots was a landmark in the man’s life. Maeve had recommended he visit the museum while they were corresponding, which he was more than happy to do, always trying to find a way to feel closer to her than he could actually be. Now his visits changed in nature, he was there to reminisce. To try and get the optimistic feeling of loving her to come back.

The stranger that usually walked around the museum with files in her hands went unnoticed for a while, but to her, Spencer had never gone unnoticed. She had been watching him his last four visits, visits that were a lot closer together than the usual visitors liked, which naturally, sparked her interest. She was drawn to him, always turning her head to check if he was there and her eyes lingering for a beat too long to try and come up with an excuse to start a conversation.

Olivia cared very little about dating and would usually turn down people’s advances, but as he sat there, earbuds in and basking in the sunlight the botanical garden side of the museum had to offer, she couldn’t help but hope he was one of those ballsy men that usually approached her. Apparently, the gods felt bad for Ollie, because as Spencer stood up to go, a book slipped out of his bag onto the floor. Oblivious to it, he kept walking.

“Thank the fucking gods” Ollie whispered to herself as she made a beeline for the book. Trying to reach the tall guy, she elbowed her way through the people walking in front of her and tapped him on the shoulder. Play it cool, dork.

“Hey” she said trying to get her breath back. “You dropped this back there” She tried not to fixate on the way his curls looked with the sun shining directly on them, or on the way his eyes took in her presence.

“Oh, thank you so much” He rushed out, grateful that he didn’t have to lose the last thing that connected him to Maeve and cursing himself for being so careless.

Make conversation, now. Say something. Anything. “I take it that’s important, you look relieved” she giggled to try and appear chill. Failing miserably, of course.

“Um, yeah. It was.” Beat of silence. “It is. It was a gift” He answered looking down at his feet, holding on to the book like it might disappear if he doesn’t.

Now, genuinely relieved she could spare him the disappointment, Ollie looked up at him. “Then I’m really glad you didn’t have to lose it” She replied, mirroring Spence’s thoughts, which made him smile.

To the doctor, looking at her felt almost offensive to Maeve’s memory, like she could see him staring curiously at this kind stranger whose eyes were enticing enough to make him forget how to talk. His best friend JJ was the best at reading his expressions and figuring out what he was thinking, she was smart enough to know Reid felt guilty for wanting to move on and leave the pain behind, so she made sure he knew that no one expected him to act like a widower forever, not even Maeve. After all, no one tells you how long you’re expected to mourn a loss, there’s no unspoken rule of appropriate sulking time. 278 days later still felt like too soon and just about enough at the same time. Strangely enough, he wanted to keep talking to this girl, and it would have to start with an introduction.

“I’m Spencer”

“I’m Olivia, but please call me Ollie” or call me anything you want.

“Ollie, good” he let out a giggle that was uncharacteristic of him to say the least. Mainly because he had never made it this far into a conversation with someone as pretty as Ollie. “You work here” It wasn’t a question, he noticed the plaque pinned to her shirt that read Dr. Olivia Vega, Conservator.

“Yes, I’m one of the conservators here. I know I might not look like it, but I promise I know my stuff” This observation prompted Spencer to give her a once over and he smiled at how right she was. She was wearing black cargo pants and a simple lavender t-shirt she seemed to have cropped herself, her arms were covered with little tattoos and her dark hair had streaks of purple in it. She was a sight to see, and hadn’t she been so kind and smiley, Spencer would’ve been intimidated by her. “My mom always says I look like I dropped out of high school to form my own punk band” She added, interrupting his train of thought. “I kind of agree with her now that I think about it, but I have a doctorate in history and that’s not very punk”

“Well, I’m a federal agent but I look like my grandpa, so I’m right there with you”

You do not look like a grandpa. “A federal agent, huh? The wall-climbing, gun-shooting, vest-wearing kind?”

“Sometimes, yes. But I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit so the work I do revolves around profiling people, we try to narrow down the suspect pool by studying the way the crime was committed and making educated guesses about what kind of person would do that and the possible motives behind it. I also have doctorates, but not in history” He said, glad he could sound cool in front of what appeared to be the coolest human ever. Maeve doesn’t mind you moving on, he repeated to himself.

“Judging by the fact that you didn’t introduce yourself as ‘Doctor so and so, but you can call me Spencer’ I think you’re nice and not full of yourself” Ollie joked. “I would have been super intimidated if you’d lead with that”

Is she a witch or am I thinking out loud? “You should see the people I work with. I look like a 12-year-old boy compared to them” She erupted in laughter, causing Spencer to blush. “I’m not kidding, they call me ‘kid’ and ‘pretty boy’”

They got that right, you are pretty. “No way, my older co-workers call me ‘kid’ too! And I’m their boss. The least they could do is call me Doctor Kid.” She pretended to pout.

A mom with a stroller trying to walk past them made the two realize they were still standing in the middle of the path, so entirely entertained with each other that they didn’t notice the third-grade class that had just passed them. As if the realization had struck them both at the same time, they looked back at each other, both of them trying to stretch the interaction as long as they could.

“Do you, maybe, want to have this conversation somewhere else? Perhaps not in the middle of the crowd?” She asked hopefully.

Taken aback by the offer, Spencer agreed and followed her back to her office, that looked exactly like he would expect it to. A bunch of framed pictures with friends and family covered the wall to his left, she had a jean jacket full of pins hanging behind the door and a bunch of miscellaneous books on a bookshelf right behind her desk, all of them with post its sticking out and what he assumed were her bookmarks.

After offering him coffee, they talked about all the things they had in common and relished on the things they didn’t. It was refreshing to get out of their heads and talk about something other than what stage of grief they were in. Spencer was glad that Ollie had approached him first, otherwise he wouldn’t have met her or even know she existed. A text from Penelope brought him back to reality and he sighed at his phone when he read it.

“I have to go, we got a case” He said, annoyed.

Ollie tried to mask her disappointment with an airy laugh, “Oh those fucking serial killers, so rude of them to interrupt our conversation”

Come on, Spencer. Say you want to see her again. Maeve doesn’t mind. Faster than he could process, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. “I want to see you again” He declared; eyes wide, afraid he came on too intense.

“Well, what a coincidence. I want that too.” She smirked, thanking the gods for all the love they seemed to be showing her today. She took a bright pink sharpie from her drawer and scribbled her number on Spencer’s palm. “Please, don’t wash your hand before you save the number”  She hoped she hadn’t blown her cover as the chilliest most relaxed person ever with that one sentence that sounded like she was begging him to call her. He took out a little white card from his bad and handed it to her.

‘SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. Behavioral Analysis Unit’. Two phone numbers were displayed along with the FBI logo. Which made Ollie look up to question it.

“Bottom one is my personal line; top one is the work phone” He anticipated the question.  

The shit eating grin he was wearing did not go unnoticed by her friends back at the BAU, but he brushed them and their raised eyebrows right off. This whole thing with Ollie was his to keep. At least for the moment.

That night, even though spent in a dingy motel a few minutes out of Redding, Pennsylvania, Spencer slept better than he had in 278 days. He wasn’t an outgoing person at all, he didn’t ask for numbers, he didn’t agree to have coffee in some stranger’s office, he didn’t text bright pink numbers sloppily written on his hand. But maybe the way they met was a sign that he should, maybe, no matter the outcome, he wanted to see where this led. Not even sure what this was.

Here goes nothing.

“Hey, this is Spencer. I didn’t wash my hand” sent at 2:13 am.

“I mean, I did. Just not until I texted you” sent at 2:13 am.

Back at her own apartment, Ollie made a mental note to go visit Lia so she could hear all about the handsome man she had met. Following the advice her therapist had given her, she took out the notepad she had devoted to the letters she wrote her and started writing what she would give anything to be able to say to her face.

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough Reviews: Skate Dad

Josh tries to bond with his daughter through the art of skateboarding but ends up upstaged by a younger skateboarder with abs for days. Also Teddy Ruxpin begs for death but death won’t come. Since I don’t have as much to jaw jack about since this episode is on it’s own and I already reviewed i’ts pairing brother, full reveiw’s under the cut. 

We open with a cold open gag divorced from everything else.. a first for this show as even the Turn Down for what bit in “Logans Run’d” help set up Candace being gone for the weekend. But yeah it’s the bit from the trailer of Josh, Bridgette and Alex getting ready for a concert only for the other two to drop Josh off because he has no free time and just wanted to pretend. Also josh drinks a Glowstick. So majestic. 

In the main plot we start with something I can relate to: a small child watching youtube videos while ignoring the world around her. Having two nieces, 9 and 6, I can relate so hard it hurts. Josh fails to get her to pay attention to him and tries getting them to do something they can do together by reliving his childhood. Again, easily relate to this. Things go poorly as TeddY Ruxpin bursts into flames and tape hilarously and Candace is throughly unintrested in simon and a magic 8 ball. Josh is understandably depressed, Teddy begs for death but death wont’ come, their gag not mine and Emily comes in with Josh’s old skateboard.. which actually DOES get Candace’s attention. Josh naturally latches onto this and decides to teach her out to skate.  The group go to a skate shop and Josh relates his own experince going.. while leaving out the fact his dad was a total asshole who rather than go into the grungy skateshop with his son and be present just went back to the car and pointed at his watch. Which he apparently did so much a later bit in the episode shows josh’s photo of him is just that. It’s some nice character stuff: like I hoped the show would it explains WHY Candance isn’t spending whole weekends with her grandpa: Josh likely dosen’t want to subject her to the same crap he went through and it shows why josh is trying so hard to connect with her: besides just generally being a good dad HE Never had a dad who wanted to do anything with him and wants to be better.  The skate shop they end up in though is more apple store, to the point Candace wonders if their in one, as their greeted by an employee and then the store’s owner the Gooch, a modern skater whose a totally nice guy actually, offering artensially crafted skateboards, a nice gag and impressing Emily and Candace, while Josh is understandably jealous and paranoid about being upstaged by the guy. Candace picks hers which is satanrific... which is not only great but it’s made even funnier by Emily only being horrified by it because it’s 100%, with Gooch offering the above one of his abs. Finding the dark lord satan more approraite than some dude’s john oliver level shredded pecs, Josh goes with the satan one.  The Ramierz’s head to the skate park, and in order to one up Gooch who candace now clearly idolizes, Josh attempts to show her an Ollie and instead wangs himself in the balls iwth the board bad to everyone but his families laughter. Also we get a great visual gag of the paramedics skating the gurney up the ramp when they go to fetch josh.  Back at the house Josh is depressed about not being able to teach his daughter and is in a wheelchair, having an iron plate put over his crotch due to his injuries because of course he has. The crew REALLY seem to love the fact they can now do nutshots huh? I don’t blame them given they probably couldn’t on regular show, which I find weird given you can do jokes about eating feces, even if you don’t show it, as loud house has horrifingly shown us, but not someone getting hit in the balls. I just find it a WEIRD double standard. 

Anyways Josh lets the pain pills takes him away and has a nice dream of being a skate dad and something I like about this show is it really uses the animation well and plays with it more than regular show did. Regular Show did so too, it just didn’t do it nearly as much and the animation bump for this series is fairly easy to see. Probably helps Close Enough has an episode order for the season closer to say steven universe, so there’s more room in the budget to make the standard stuff look gorgeous. 

Back at the plot, Josh wakes up to find himself in the car some time, days or weeks later. Turns out Emily signed Candance up for lessons with the Gooch, and Josh takes it about as well as you’d expect and gets even more insned when the gooch innocently starts acting fatherly to her. It’s decent character stuff; Josh isn’t NORMALLY this crazy jealous or possesive, at least so far, but it’s understandable to be upset when someone else is being fatherly to your kid and doing things YOU want to be doing with them. Candance calling him papa gooch causes Josh to flip out, amble up and angrily rant at the nice man with the 6 pack before challening him to a bombing run, which I had no idea what that was and is basically what candace started with: Riding down an inciline while body riding the board.  Naturally Josh is worried about his chances but refuses to admit it, Emily is wondering what the shit has gotten into her husband and Candace, being candace, starts street bombing down the incline with her parents and gooch in persuit. Josh is still being a dick but eventually realizes how much of one he’s being when he points at his watch and instead of just being defensive and mean, is honest with the goosh and politley asks him to let Josh take care of this himself. Goosh relates to that as his own dad never took him skating and he took it up to spite him, the two now have mutal respect and goosh wooshes out. What a legend. Anyways JOsh and emily speed after her, and end up on the same board holding Candace, and we get the bit from the pitch trailer of josh grinding on his nuts and josh saves the day, and wins the familys respect and brings Goosh to tears... what a man what a man what a mighty good man, say it again lord!

Final Thoughts: Another more standard episode, this one is eleveated a bit by josh’s character stuff.. it’s just a bit thiner than Emily’s stuff at the open house a few episode back or in the following episode as Josh comes off as kind of a bit too dickish before the end as Goosh is really just nice. I know it’s the point but it’s still hard to watch. Overall it’s still another great episode and a joy to watch. It’s also getting me to notice a trend of the episodes, at least so far we’ll see as we go, opening with the weaker of the two and closing with the stronger one. No episode’s been outright bad but with the six so far the second ones’ have been the standouts while the first ones are just the series standard quality. It also is the first episode without Alex or Bridgette in it as even other episodes without them so far have still had token apperances and the lack of Jason is felt.. but it somehow didn’t hurt this episode and it felt understandable given they really had nothing to add.  This was a short one, I have more to go, until we meet again later days. 

[rcyharper]

I’m in a mood to talk about Roy and his struggle with accepting his limits and his status as a hero.

With Roy, I think power struggle is a pretty big part of his character, whether it’s power to overcome his past or his power to help people, it’s always there, but I’m specifically talking about his struggle with power in the sense of him struggling with whether or not he’s good enough as a hero-- the fact that he’s just a human. A guy with a bow and arrow who knows how to aim really well and use weapons.

That’s well and good and all, but I think Roy struggles with the fact that he is only human and the fact that sometimes he can’t do as much as he could.

This is a big example where we see it. Much like Ollie, tries to hide his insecurities from everyone by trying to dismiss them as a joke and being sarcastic. 

I’m pretty certain Lian wasn’t even crying, he just wanted an excuse to leave the room. The fact that that’s been a question on his mind for a long time shows that he struggles with it too. The Titans are very important to him, and I think he struggled with being worried that he might not have been good enough to get a callback. 

I also think that’s why he didn’t rejoin at first even when he was re-invited-- he wanted to stay solo and work on himself, not just mentally, but to actually train to be better. Remember, this is the era when he was working with the CBI and Checkmate, this is where he really got to know his expertise with weapons beyond a bow and arrow. I don’t think he expanded his skills just for the sake of expanding them, I think he did it to try to get better because of this.

I think this whole worry of his comes into play big time when he leads the Titans.

Obviously leading a team the gist of it especially since that was something new to him at the time, but this particular era of the Titans dealt with a lot of space stuff, so that was pretty new to him as well, and it was a big part of his character arc in this run.

And we see him grow into his role, accepting the fact that he is a good leader, that he knows what he’s doing.

By the end of the run, he successfully stops an intergalactic war peacefully, and by that time, he felt that a lot of his worries of whether he could handle the bigger stuff were taken over.

Despite his accomplishments here, we still see him struggle as more events unfold in the future. One big thing that affected him was Ollie’s death. When Ollie died, Roy felt like he failed Ollie, that he let him down (which we all know he didn’t). He felt like him not being asked to take on the Green Arrow mantle or join the Justice League meant he wasn’t good enough.

Joining the JL has always been a big thing for Roy, wanting to prove to everyone and especially to himself that was he was good enough to take on the bigger stuff. We can see it pretty clearly here.

It’s why he did things like this.

We see this develop a lot further in the Outsiders era, after Donna died. She was killed by a Superman robot clone thing. When she was fighting it, Roy was working with Tim on building another robot to stop it, but they didn’t get it finished in time. I think that had a big effect Roy, making him feel he wasn’t good enough to save her. It changed his entire superhero style.

We see him shave his hair, take on a new more advanced suit (one which he’d had built for a while but never used), build a high tech base from scratch all by himself and hand pick a new team to try be more focused. When Roy found out there was a traitor in the team, he did not take that well and set out to find whoever it was. He felt responsible because this team was hand picked by him and he felt a lot of the blame was also on him for picking someone who’d betray them.

One thing we also during this era is that when Mia became Speedy and joined the Teen Titans, he gave her a quiver of arrows that included a Phantom Zone arrow that he’d kept for like 11-12 years for emergencies. The fact that he chose to give it to her is pretty big imo since he gave it to her when she joined the TT, and considering what happened between Donna and a Kryptonian (even though Donna was already back by that point), he was still wary and felt the need to be overprotective.

Anyway that kind of diverged a little but back to the main topic, even after assembling and leading the Outsiders, Roy again was left out a big “heavy” type mission.

This time, it hit him pretty bad, we can see it in the look on his face. It basically put him into full charge trying to go all out proving himself by taking down the Society of Super-villains, a plan that he supercharged and put his full effort into and succeeded with. He then left the Outsiders because he felt like being that type of hero wasn’t for him. Once again, he wasn’t satisfied with who he was as a hero.

When he left the Outsiders, he put his full focus going solo again and when he was offered Justice League membership, that was a huge deal for him. His insecurity about not being good enough made him flat out not believe it.

Again, just from the expressions on his face we see that he still struggles with thinking he’s good enough for this, not believing it, but it’s finally happening. His dream of joining the League is coming into full fruition, he’s taking on the family legacy like he’s always wanted to as Red Arrow while still keeping a sense of independence. 

And even then, he still felt like he wasn’t good enough to be next to the other heroes.

I think Roy’s annoyance with not going on the space mission during Outsiders ties in very nicely with this scene. Power Girl tells Roy she thinks he’s coming there to chase romance, but he never actually admits it himself, and while it may be true to some extent, I think the main reason he’s there is because he wants to throw himself out there and prove to himself that he can handle this stuff.

So basically, to sum it all up, Roy’s always struggled with this insecurity that he wasn’t good enough as a superhero, he always felt like he had to prove himself to others even when he didn’t. He always had to prove himself to himself. It’s why I think him being Red Arrow is so important-- it’s the culmination of all these arcs of him building himself up from his struggles and what he’s been through. As Red Arrow, he was finally fully satisfied with where he was as a person, as a father, and as a superhero. It’s what he’s always aimed for and wanted.

[peppersandcats]

Flash stuff, comics and TV

So, I am finally up-to-date on The Flash in both comics and TV format, and I have some thoughts. The comics ones are mostly in the “oh come on are we expected to buy this, clearly you are aiming for that” vein, and the TV show ones are very mild and possible super-obvious, but since both deal with what both what is happening and what I think is going to happen, both might be spoilers so I’m putting them under a cut.

To be clear: please do not tell me anything about these assumptions that does not come from existing text. So for example:

“but in issue 76 we saw X” or “in episode 6 of this season Y happened, so we might get Z fallout” is totally fine. Yay analysis! Would love to hear from you!

“in the comics X happens, so that might mean Y for the TV show” is also cool.

“the comics writer said he’s aiming for X” or “a casting decision has been made so we know Y is still showing up/is not on the show anymore after this point” is really not fine please do not tell me that. I do not want to hear it. Thank you.

Also: discusses possible upcoming character death. I know some people would rather not see that, so mentioning it now.

With that in mind, here are my “I am okay with being wrong about this, but I bet this’ll happen” thoughts:

Comics

Oh, comics. Len has apparently turned into a vicious blowhard, Lisa is picking a fight with him, evil King Cold rules over Central, all is lost, no-one is paying me enough to pick up extra titles from DC to find out what all space and time being broken means, dour, dour, grim.

With that in mind, I have a possibly-more-cheerful read on current Snart events than the one initially presented. I’m going to keep in mind Len’s mention of the Rogues going with Lisa’s plan (issue 78 “Without my sister, the whole plan is on hold.”; issue 79 “This isn’t Lex’s plan. It’s not even my plan. It’s your plan.”), and assume that that was true.

This means that I think (hope) that what they’re going for is a long con. That the Snarts are running with a plan where Len plays bad guy to Central City, Lisa tries to convince Barry to use mega-uncontrollable Speed Force power against Luthor by pitching it as "save my brother he's gone bad", and the end goal is that the world-breaking nonsense and Luthor both get taken down while the Rogues get to keep all the shiny new tech in a world that isn’t weirdly broken by evil.

The big thing that kept throwing me about the narrative presented to Barry is why is Len keeping Barry alive?

Because, look. Right now everyone thinks the Flash is dead (seriously, those guards in the throne room were absolutely thinking “jeez, boss, we’ve heard how the Flash died in your arms three times already this week”), and yeah, that’s good to keep Central hopeless. And Len is coming across as mean as hell. But then why hasn’t he really killed Barry? He’s not angling for the “I will build my reputation with a grand execution!”, because then he wouldn’t be talking up how he’d already killed the Flash. He might be keeping Barry alive just to torment him, but then there’d be no benefit to lying about how he’d killed him. Dude’s stuck in Ice Heights, not even the Trickster* can make a dent in that, it’s not like someone is going to mount a successful rescue.

*Please insert usual where-the-hell-does-he-get-those-wonderful-toys rant here, I’m sure you’ve heard it from me by now.

And if Len was building part of his power on the “I will crush Central City’s spirit by letting them know I have taken down the Flash!” foundation, then Lisa’s “oh no, we can’t let people know you’re alive” seems a bit odd.

So if I take a step back, what I see isn’t “Lisa has a heart of gold and is begging for the Flash’s help.” It’s not even “Lisa is vamping Barry and feeding him a sob story about how her brother has gone bad.”

What I see is “the Snarts have a secret plan that involves no-one knowing that the Flash is still alive, so it doesn’t get back to Lex Luthor. Right now the genius supervillain has a massive blind spot about the existence of a terrifying Speed Force bomb, and Lisa is collecting pieces of Mirror Master’s tech. Those are totally the kind of things you could combine to break Luthor’s secret reality-busting stronghold, which would enable you to get rid of him but still keep your super-cool empowering tech.”

And if Len and Lisa are in cahoots on this, the bombast makes a lot more sense. “My sister has been in hiding ever since I took over Central City... and she reveals herself by stealing from me?" is a performance for the benefit of the two-high level mooks who were following Len and could probably hear him through the open doorway. Giant ice-wolves aren’t anything to do with Lisa being scared of dogs when she was a kid (which didn’t really come across in her reaction to them anyway), they’re just really cool and the speech is Len hamming it up for whoever in his citadel is spying for Luthor.

(I mean. It’s Luthor. You’re working with Lex Luthor, you gotta assume.)

So, yeah. I’m still hoping we’ve got the Snarts running a very sensible long con, which combines the best aspects of “we are crooks who want cool stuff” and “we’re not evil, evil is dumb.” Fingers crossed.

TV

Okay, minor stuff, but I think I’ve finally decoded the symbols on the Monitor’s door!

I was assuming, pretty much, that these referenced the Justice League. The Flash in particular has been throwing in asides to the Justice League since its inception (everyone’s seen the mural at CCPD headquarters, right?), the last crossover involved a building that has people who don’t watch the show assuring me that it’s meant to evoke the Hall of Justice, one of the trailers mentioned seven heroes, here we have seven symbols, etc.

Left to right, I think these represent

Black Lightning - it’s not a logo, but the shape evokes the lightning streaks on the torso of his costume. This one was one I kept getting stuck on - I kept thinking “Trident! ...but it makes no sense for them to bring in Aquaman.” Then I went to catch up on Black Lightning a little and it clicked.

Canary - I honestly was thinking White Canary because I really want to see LOT involved, but Sara doesn’t wear a face mask. Therefore, probably need to go with Black Canary (who is a founding member in at least one version of continuity, lord knows which one, I have trouble keeping track)

Flash - that is, to me, obviously his cowl. Little bit coming down in the middle, little chin covering pointing up, wing-y bits on the ears, we’re good.

Martian Manhunter - this one I’m the least sure of, but given the options available, I think it has to be him. He’s totally a Justice League guy, and the hex with straps pointing up and down to the sides, echoes his costume torso.

Supergirl - again, I was staring at this for a while, completely lost, but now it looks to me like a really stylized ‘S’. If it was narrower on the bottom than on the top, it would look a lot like the family logo.

Batwoman - this is both a scarier-looking mask than the second image, and can be read as a figure spreading their wings to either side. (Huh, I suppose it might be Hawkgirl? But I’m betting on Batwoman. If I’m wrong, that’s okay! I have been wrong before)

Arrow. I mean, really, just Arrow. It’s an arrow-head. Arrow.

And I mean, I don’t necessarily think everyone’s going to survive through this. Oliver Queen in particular I think is going to die. Whether that means Roy or Mia steps up to try and become the Arrow, or whether they leave a seat empty at the table to honour Ollie’s sacrifice, I don’t know. But: Arrow in the JLA of the CW.

But.

Arrow is TV, but in a lot of ways it’s still comics. You know how it happens when people die in comics.

I think we might get to see Ollie as the Spectre.

It fits with the well-meaning darkness and the grim drive. It fits with the judgement of "you have failed this city". It fits with the green hood. The recent “hey, vigilantes working with the police” feel like it gives Ollie a sort of cop-if-you-look-at-him-sideways aura that makes him line up better with Jim Corrigan and Crispus Allen--hell, even Hal Jordan functionally comes across as a space-cop. Even Corrigan’s death thematically echoes Ollie’s first (presumed) death by drowning on the Queen’s Gambit.

I would like that. I have long loved the Spectre, and I would not be where I am as a DC TV fan--hell, as a DC fan--if Arrow hadn’t clicked with me.

I would like it if Oliver Queen, that grumpy control-freak secret-keeping self-righteous ass, could still be there on some level. He means a lot to me.

[iamkatehardy]

The Portrait (Alfie Solomons x Reader) - Pt 3

Word Count: 2.2 k

Warnings: Just cursing 😁

Summary: Can (Y/N) Shelby and Alfie finally reach an agreement? Will they say “See you later” or “Goodbye”?

Preparing the ground for the final part(s)!

The Portrait Pt.3 

 The first rays of the rising sun, which shone in through the large window in the bedroom, woke you up. You lacked courage to immediately get up, so you just rolled on the bed, covering your head with a pillow; another round of negotiations with Alfie Solomons definitely wasn’t something you were eager for. Furthermore, he made you wait for about an hour last time, didn’t he? He deserved a possible slight delay.  

You took your own sweet time getting ready; if you were going to trash Alfie, you would do it in style. The dolling up process was followed by a strong cup of coffee, while you leafed through the day’s newspaper, two vitally important things for a Shelby in the morning.

After getting a lecture from his boss, Ollie knew better than keeping you waiting. Not many women visited the bakery; when he heard the staccato sound of your heels clicking on the floor, he hurried to meet you at the entrance, escorting you down the hallway, to Alfie’s office.

“At least you’ve learnt something from my last visit, haven’t you, young man?” – A self-satisfied smile formed on your pouty lips.

After Tommy’s little prank involving grenades, Ollie had realized Shelbys were crazy motherfuckers, just like Alfie, or maybe worse ; he kept silent, trying to stay low and out of trouble.

Alfie waited in his office, even more impatient than usual; he kept coming up with excuses for his rather odd reaction to your delay , telling himself  it was because he was eager to get his hands on Shelby Company Limited, or maybe because you were thirty seven minutes and fifty two seconds late already. He knew exactly how late you were; his piercing eyes had been absolutely glued to his golden pocket watch since the appointed time.

When the doorknob jiggled, he nodded his head gravely, expectantly looking at the door.

“Ollie?!” – Alfie’s eyes moved to the man staying behind you, before he closed the door.

“Yes , Alfie?”

“Note this down, next time Miss Shelby graces us with her presence, we should offer her a watch, aye. Now, go.” – Waving his hands, Alfie shooed Ollie away.

“Oh Mr. Solomons, that is very considerate of you…” – You shot him a scornful appraising look, taking a long breath. – “ And I really appreciate that, but you don’t need to bother… It was a deliberate fashion delay.” – Your gaze locked with his, as the corners of your mouth lifted, to form the Shelby irresistible signature smirk.  

“Fashionable?! Women…” – He watched you closely, as you sat down, amused, yet cautious.

“ I didn’t expect you to know a lot about that subject anyway…” – Raising a caustic eyebrow, you looked down with a mocking air, while straightening your skirt.

“About what’s fash…”

“No, Mr. Solomons, about women.” – You interrupted him,  eyes darting over his face again; you could see a vein pop out in his neck, but his expression was seemingly neutral.

“May I offer you something to drink, aye?” – He tried to avoid the topic.

“A decent business proposition would be a good start…” – You shot him an impatient look. – “But after that, I wouldn’t say no to an Irish whiskey.”

The phone rang, in the otherwise silent office. Alfie looked at it, then at you.

“You should pick up; it seems to me like they won’t be giving up. Furthermore, we’ve got some time on our hands.” – You nodded silent approval, eyeing him warily.

“I’m sorry. I won’t be long, a’ight?“– He answered the phone and you took the opportunity to get your sketchbook once again.

Alfie spoke slowly, thinking and weighting his every word, as he stroked his beard. He blinked slowly, focused; his blue-green eyes were dark oceans of immeasurable depths, where you could drown yourself in, with no need of ever again coming up for air. His thumb slid across his lips; they looked soft, luscious, warm and unusually inviting, despite the coarse speech that often left them. His mind changed from brute to brilliant in a matter of seconds. He was immovable, irreverent, intriguing; it was annoying, but definitely enticing. He probably didn’t realize all that about himself, but even if he did, Alfie seemed to you like the kind of man that wouldn’t care; you loather it, and you loved it.

While working furiously on the drawing, your eyes devoured and took in each of his gorgeous features; you were possessed by a frantic need to have his portrait done, an undeniable appeal to capture all the secrets hiding in his features, the ones he wouldn’t voluntarily tell. He had no idea how much he inspired you, and you didn’t want him to; as soon as you’d lay your eyes on him, inspiration struck you as swift and sudden as a lightening, a raw electrifying feeling down to the cusp of you being, and the need to let it out through the thing you liked the most : art.

You woke up from your creative trance when you heard the name Tommy. After angrily closing the sketchbook, to keep it away from Alfie’s sight, you leaned forward on the table.

“Tommy, like my Tommy?”

Alfie just nodded; he liked to bargain with your brother, Tommy was way more flexible about the conditions than you were.

You ripped the phone off his hand, sitting over the table.

“Thomas, fuck off, keep your nose out of my business. You weren’t so willing to do business with Mr. Solomons when you sent me here, were you? Well, now I’m in charge, and this time, you can’t fuckin’ boss me around! Are we clear?” – You yelled, before slamming down the receiver. “If he calls again, you’re not answering, it’s my signature you need.”

He never though there was someone brave enough to shout at Tommy Shelby, let alone tell him to fuck off, and hang up on him.

“You’re in charge, sweetie.” -  A soft low laugh escaped his throat, followed by an amused smile.

“Let it be a warning for you too, Alfie. I’m not screwing around. Now, the contract, did you rework it?”

Alfie took the contract out of one his desk drawers, along with a bottle of Irish whiskey; after scooting the contract to your side of the table, he poured you a drink, which you promptly took in your hand, taking a sip as you carefully analyzed the contract.

“Way better than the first one…” – You swirled the whiskey that was left I the glass, tapping your foot slowly on the ground.

“So, what do you say, sweetie?”

Taking a deep breath, you put the glass down. Bending over the table slowly, you chuckled, making sign for Alfie to approach. He did; his elbows were resting on the table, hands clenched together, as he dipped his chin, looking  at you over your glasses.

“I say… Fuck. You.” – You whispered right in his face, before sitting back down. – “This is not what we agreed upon!  I don’t know what kind of deal Tommy promised you, but I’m not my brother… So, from now on, we’ll play by my rules, or we won’t play at all.”

He sank back in the chair, closing his eyes; a corner of his mouth lifted.

“Listen, love, it really pains me to be the bearer of bad news, especially to such a beautiful, determined, cunning little lady like you, a'ight… But you’re hardly in a position to make any demands, innit doll?” – He unclasped his hands and threw them up, opening his eyes to face you once again.

“Why am I even wasting my time?” – Rolling your eyes, you got up. – “You’re such a leech!”

“I’m a skillful exploiter of situations…”

“And you take pride in it, unbelievable…” – After grabbing your stuff, you turned on your heel.

“(Y/N), wait.” – He took a deep breath.

“What?” – You gently turned to face him.

“If you leave now, you lose.”

“I guess it makes two of us, Alfie. I’ve got something you want too, and I would gladly give it to you in exchange for your support and loyalty, if you know what that means, that is. But it’s never enough for you, and I refuse to give in to your disproportionate greed. So, negotiations end immediately.”

“ You’ll be losing far more than I will. You will be facing a war, not a single ally.”

“We’re fuckin’ Shelbys , Alfie, we are forged in fire… We stick together through thick and thin, and that makes us ready to face any war. If you can breathe, you can stand, and if you can stand, you can fight… With or without you, we’ll make it. Our demons will keep us company anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a long ride home, and I should be getting on with it. ” – Your gaze stayed on him a moment longer than it had to, before you gave him a courtly nod.

“I am sure that we can come to an arrangement in this regard, a’ight? Please, let us sit and talk.”  - He had weighed your words; the togetherness of your family had always been its strength, he knew it, and he envied it. Alfie didn’t have a family structure to back him up, or for him to back up, but maybe he could compensate that void in his life by helping your family.

“We tried, twice… Regrettably, however, we have failed to reach an agreement. We’re both too stubborn, and inflexible, for that.” – A faint smile crossed your face, disappearing as quickly as it appeared.

“Sweetie, I insist. We draw up a contract together and sign it.”  

“But this is the final try.”

“Name your terms, Miss Shelby.” – He made place for you on his side of the desk, bringing an extra chair, pulling it for you to sit, and bringing you pen and paper.

You shot him a look in which surprise and amusement were nicely fused, before siting by his side. After making a list of the demands and concessions of both of you in the negotiations, you discussed it for hours, before you finally reached an agreement that pleased both. You finally signed the contract, before Alfie folded it and put it on the drawer.  

He poured you another whiskey.

“Thanks.” – You took a sip, rubbing  the back of your neck  with your free hand.

“When are you going back to Small Heath?”

“Soon, I need to rub this in Tommy’s face, as soon as possible…” – You smirked victoriously, giving him a look of triumph.

“Oh…” – He pressed his lips together, furrowing his eyebrows, somehow disappointed you had to leave so soon. You were a tough nut to crack, but he could relate. – “ Didn’t like the city, huh?”

“As a businesswomen these were hard days here, Mr. Solomons…” – You glared at him, but then you chuckled. – “But I actually like it here… As an artist, I had a blast! I hadn’t feel so alive and inspired in ages.”

“An artist? “ – His eyebrows rose, and he curiously studied you.

“We can say I didn’t get the gangster gene in my DNA…”

“You’d never know it to look at you…” – He made a face.

“I’ll take that as a compliment…” – You got up. – “ It was a pleasure doing business with you , Alfie.“ – You extended your hand for him to shake

“Likewise, Miss Shelby.” -  He looked at your hand, then at you, and he finally took it, kissing your knuckles softly, instead of offering you a handshake.

Chivalry and Alfie Solomons combined? Was hell freezing over or something like that?

“(Y/N).” – You gave him a warm smile.

“(Y/N), a’ight.” – He reluctantly let go of your hand.

“I know you said I wasn’t in position to make demands… But may I ask you something?”

“Of course, by all means, yes.”

“I might have been drawing you…” – Your cheeks turned pink

“Might?” – He looked at you over his glasses.

“And I might as well finish it, if you wouldn’t mind, that is.” – Cocking your head lightly, your eyes widened, waiting for his answer.

Since he couldn’t come up with an excuse to see you again, he was thankful you did.

“I…” – He hesitated for a second.

“It’s ok to say no, I get it, really ” -  Nodding courtly, your lips curved into a sincere smile.

“NO. I’d like that, aye? We could meet up..” – He tried to set up a date, but you interrupted him.

“I don’t want to bother you, Alfie. I’ll come here later in the week,  before I leave for Birmingham. I will ask Ollie if you are available. If you are, we can finish it, if not… We can finish it another time.”

“We have a deal.” – Letting out a deep throaty laugh, he rubbed your shoulder.

“So long, Mr. Solomons.” – You decided to dare, and gently kissed his cheek, before heading out the door.

Once you left the bakery, Alfie called Ollie to his office.

“Cancel all the meetings I have this week, a’ight ”

“But Mr. Solomons…”

“Don’t question me! Need to available when… Never mind, just do it, aye? I have an important appointment, I just don’t know exactly when, so cancel all the others. “– He shooed Ollie away once again.

“He’s getting even more nuts with age.” – Ollie whispered to himself.

“But definitely not deaf, little boy!”-  Alfie shouted, throwing him a book before he disappeared through the door.

Tags: @picassho-18 , @sparklyreaderx , @titty-teetee , @but--dear-this-is-not-wonderland , @tiredoffeelinglost , @theladynevermore , @moralesunflower , @alexa4040 ,  @innerpaperexpertcloud , @marvelgirl7 , @eap1935 , @ellar21 , @captstefanbrandt , @iv-nyc (In case you want to be tagged/untagged , let me know <3 )

[hanhan156]

Hanhan’s October writing challenge: Rammstein Halloween pt #6

The prompt: The character, along with one or more others, decides to visit a local haunted house attraction that’s just opened up.

-

#6 Boo! Haunted House

A new local attraction - cheesily named Das Regenbogenland - had just been opened up in town and of course, Till had insisted they should visit there on one of their rare free days. Flake - who absolutely loathed anything involving a huge dose of adrenaline rush - was suspicious about the idea at first. His ideal holiday didn’t involve hanging around in an artificial plastic land, listening to kids’ screams and ending up having a terrible headache for the rest of the day. But now, when he had managed to find a perfect, quiet spot in a café, enjoying his beer and ice cream, he had to admit it hadn’t been so bad after all.

His precious snack time was interrupted too soon though while their two lovebirds - Richard and Paul, who were having the best time of their lives - sat down at the same table unexpectedly.

“That was truly amazing!” Paul shouted his eyes glittering from joy.

Richard seemed to be excited as hell as well. “Let’s go again!!” he shouted and kissed the other guitarist, making Flake stare awkwardly in another direction.

The keyboardist could only wonder where on earth they had been and doing what exactly, but he didn’t have time to ask while the two guitarists already disappeared as quickly as they had come. Their behavior reminded Flake of elementary school kids on a field trip for the first time in their life without constant adult supervision.

He took the last sip from his beer. Oh well, maybe I should go and see what the other guys are up to. It was actually an excuse: in reality, he was craving for some cotton candy.

He soon saw Till, Ollie, and Schneider playing a classic theme park game in which you had to throw balls to basket to win useless toys. The main prize in their game was a giant Pikachu and it seemed like they were now seriously competing who would get it.

“What’s up, guys?” Flake tried to ask.

But Till was concentrating on his round and didn’t want to answer any questions. “Not now, we are busy.” He measured the right angle and threw the ball, ending up failing.

“Scheisse!” he shouted and Flake smiled himself when he saw how embarrassed all the moms and dads gathered there looked when their kids asked what that word meant.

In no time, Richard and Paul, holding their hands, rushed towards them.

Richard pointed at something in the distance. “Guys, guys, we should definitely check that out!”

“Check what?” Till asked, disappointment in his voice because Ollie had just won the huge Pikachu.

Flake tried his best to see what was written on the glowing neon sign:

DAS GEISTERHAUS

As usually, their guitarist’s ideas didn’t seem so tempting to him. “But isn’t the park gonna close soon?”

“C’mon, the ride is only a couple of minutes. Let’s go all together, pleeeeeeaseeee,” Richard begged.

“Sure,” Schneider said and Till and Ollie nodded as well.

“I-I’m not really into this kind of stuff, maybe you go and I’ll wait here, my cotton candy is not finished yet…”

Till grabbed their keyboardist from the arm and with one bite, the cotton candy was finished. “He's done now, let’s go.”

The day had been quiet and the teenage employee in charge of the haunted house startled to death when six guys suddenly interrupted his phone browsing. “G-guten A-abend umm….do you have… tickets?”

Flake whispered to Till: “I don’t have any freaking tickets.” He didn’t want to spend money on this horrendous nonsense he knew he’d hate anyway.

“Don’t worry, of course, I’ll pay you in.”

So now they were sitting in three different carriages of a long train being the only customers of this dull attraction. The lack of any other people made Flake uneasy somehow.

Ollie’s Pikachu was sitting alone in one carriage - Schneider didn’t want to share his place next to the bass player with the huge plushie.

“Okay, have fun,” the teenager said unpassionately when he pulled the lever. He was relieved to get his Tinder match browsing moment back when the customers were finally out of his sight.

“That job doesn’t look so bad, I don’t get why the guy looked so disgusted,” Richard whispered to Paul next to him and they both giggled.

The train proceeded slowly at first and Flake was holding Till’s arm tightly.

“Relax, it’s gonna be a really short ride,” the singer tried to calm his horrified friend down. “Let’s have some fun together, even kids have gone through this so it shouldn’t be so scary.”

The soothing wasn’t very convincing though - especially when soon there was a steep downhill. Everybody - except for Pikachu and Flake who had frozen to his place - was screaming and laughing.

Schneider and Ollie raised their hands like in a rock concert, yelling together: “Hell yeah, this is so awesome!”

The keyboardist was already nauseous - the familiar nasty twitch was tickling at the bottom of his belly. I certainly hope this torment is gonna end soon or otherwise, I’m gonna throw up…

The downhill was only the beginning - they kept encountering all kinds of weird stuff: a huge doll, playing horrible discords from an organ - Flake hoped he didn’t sound like that on their concerts - a dragon’s head coming out of a tall-case clock, zombies trying to touch them on a styrofoam graveyard and a wizard throwing something nasty-looking balls at them. Richard tried on purpose to get hit by the slimy objects but didn’t succeed.

Then they entered a pitch-black room and Flake’s one of the most horrible nightmares came true: the train stopped. They didn’t have any clue what was going on.

“Okay, what is this now, I can’t see shit!” Schneider snorted.

Then, Flake felt there was something poured over them - something crawling and furry. He tried to shake the things off, but they were everywhere.

The keyboardist jumped out of the carriage and yelled in disgust: “I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR KIDS AND NOT ACTUALLY SCARY, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!”

Ollie, who was the only one not screaming and panicking, took his phone and with the tiny light given by it, he finally saw what had been poured over them. “Guys, check this out,” he said and gestured them to come closer to see. “So cool, these are real tarantulas. I used to have one as a pet when I was a kid.”

[bexxi]

So... I don’t know if any of you guys are still here or even following me. I’ve kind of done a lot with my life since I last updated this. & I’ve finally returned!

So, in terms of my life I’ve recently got to the point that I need to document things more. Life really is too short, and you should always try if you can to look back on all the amazing memories you have made rather than look back to the bad times. Which, let’s face it... looking back on the bad stuff is easier than the good. Therefore, that leads me to now... where I’m going to document my day to day life, things people may not know, things people do know. You might decide to love my updates, you might decide to hate them however, quite honestly this is more for me than you. 🙊

When I came back onto tumblr my bio said I was a 21yo forensic scientist in training... my my my what an ambitious fool I was. This brings me to my first point:

1. I completed my Bachelors in forensic science & graduated with honours. I can officially add these little letters after my last name. BSc (hons). 👩🏻‍🎓

2. I then tried my absolute damndest to get a job within the forensic sector... & failed. Hard. Bad. Big style. So, I thought, hey just any science field would do & landed myself in a great company working my way up from Laboratory Assistant upto Laboraoty Technician. Great move in 3.5 years. In that time I got engaged, rented a house, had a holiday abroad with my then fiancé and we bought our puppy, Ollie. 🐶

3. Choosing a dog, people put so much pressure on this... why? Big or little? Curly or straight? Boy or girl? Black or white? Full colour or markings? Seriously just go and see the damn puppy and make a justified decision or better yet, let them choose you! Myself & Bas (my then fiancé, you’ll hear a lot about him by the way) saw an advert on Boxing Day 2015 about a little scruffy Heinz 57 type of dog up for sale. After debating we decided to contact and see if he was still available. He was! We went to advertise ourselves to him, see if he loved us and if in turn he would accept us as his new mummy and daddy. He curled up in my arms for a snuggle and played with his brothers and sisters afterwards with these crazily long long legs that towered above all of his siblings. Perfection! Utter perfection!! We picked him up ready for his new home within our little family on New Years Day 2016.

4. When we took our first Christmas trip to Holland in 2016, on the ferry coming back home to England after letting Ollie have his midnight pee time, back in our cabin, Bas proposed. Happiest day ever! He presented a glorious ring, of which I happily accepted and from then on, we started to plan our wedding & inform all family members of course!

5. After a while in our little rented home with our puppy dog, both myself & Bas got a bit ambitious and decided to go for different jobs at the same time which resulted in us moving again, and changing jobs. Very stressful period, as previously mentioned we were planning our wedding and moving into jobs that neither of us would know if we enjoyed. Bas’s job was SO different yet mine was similar but allowed me the prospects to progress easier & the work was a hella lot more interesting (& a lot more money... always a bonus!!). So we packed up, moved & rented another property. 🏠

6. At this point we’re pretty settled within the companies we’ve joined, as both being there for roughly a year & both had promotions, we decided to book THE VENUE & go crazy!! Bridezilla enters!! We want the perfect day, we want the perfect flowers, we want the perfect photographs, we want Ollie to be the ring bearer, we want the perfect dress with a special added twist... okay that last point might of only been me. 🙈

7. In the midst of forking out for our wedding, we got hit with the... “Sorry tenants, however we want to sell the property, would you like to buy it?” Obviously our first response was “holy fuck! How could this happen? We don’t have the money! We’re paying for a wedding!! Do we want to be tied to a property? Do we want to be tied to THIS property?” So the house search continued where we made the decision with a little help from the van Os family, to buy our very first home. To which we found the perfect one... just down the road, cheapest around, good prospects, a little bit of a fixer upper but nothing we couldn’t sort. We put in an offer & BAM it was accepted. We’re now home owners! 🏡

8. Our wedding was booked 6 months after we received the keys to our brand new abode. Stress was a understatement. We had to decorate, fund a wedding & Christmas was approaching pretty quickly! When Our dog was then attacked by a nasty staffy. Now, before I get any hate messages I do NOT blame the dog. I blame the owners! Dogs are not born nasty they are bred that way. But irrelevant, my baby boy was viciously attacked! How could somebody let their dog do this? I was holding my baby boy whilst this horrible brat dogs jaws were clamped around my boys throat! I was in bits... my boy was crying and crying and then the owner got his dogs jaws to open and we drove straight to the vets. Ollie was okay... a few cuts, bruise and puncture wounds. Some painkillers and a watchful night & plenty of treats and cuddles was in order. We were lucky! Not many other dog parents come off so lucky. 🍀

9. After a full recovery made from Ollie, we slowly started to decorate our new house and move in. Wedding plans continue. How do you choose who to sit where and why? How are we going to get the whole of my fiancé’s family over from the Netherlands? Mothers of the bride and groom were invaluable in their advice and expertise of directing people. My dad, bless his heart kept me sane the whole time and helped me with the “fuck it” attitude of its our wedding, have it how we like it. So we did. On the 1st February 2019 myself & Bas tied the knot. We’re married. We’re home owners. We’re mummy and daddy to a dog. WERE ADULTING!! & now I have new letters to add to my last name. van Os! I decided to double barrel as I currently am working on some studies of which my name will be presented on these posters/abstracts/papers. & also, I have been a Wilson for 27 years I really didn’t want to give that up however I didn’t want to not take my now husbands name so it was decided I am now: Mrs Rebecca Wilson-van Os. How fancy!! 👰🏻

Now that kind of brings you upto speed, two jobs, 3 houses, graduation, buying a puppy, engagement, marriage, life in general. Hopefully I won’t leave it this long again.

So I leave you with this stunning photo from our wedding, we’re happy, Ollie is happy. Life is good. 👍🏻

[lunnanunna]

We Want You

Stray Kids 10th Member AU

Summary: Ollie is told that she has what it takes to debut in Stray Kids, and though she’s scared, she’ll take the chance.

Ollie sat in the small room that she has come to call her studio since coming to JYP and silently worked. She woke up this morning with a rough idea of a song that she wanted to write. She’s had most of the lyrics written up since last week, but what she’d pair it with she still had no idea, until this morning.

Now, she’s been sitting in this room for about 4 hours with the chorus and bridge roughly done, but the verses were missing. Ollie slammed her head on the desk, knocking her empty coffee cup(s) to the floor, and groaned.

“That bad, huh?” a voice came from behind. Ollie shot up with a start and turned so fast she swore she got whiplash.

Leaning on the door frame, one foot crossed over the other, was Ollie’s best friend since joining the company, Han Jisung.

“What are you doing here?” she asked with a slight smile, bending over to pick up her discarded cups.

“You have a serious problem, Noona,” her friend stated as he walked in and pointed to the many coffee cups in her arms, “And I’m allowed to visit my best friend.” Ollie rolled her eyes and dumped her trash in the pink bin by the door.

“I do not. I can stop whenever I want to,” Ollie stated glaring at him.

“Then stop,” Jisung replied back, sitting on the small couch.

“Key word is ‘want’, Han Jisung,” Ollie said and took a seat next to him, “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?.”

Jisung chuckled, “I brought you cookies.” He put his bag on his lap and began to search for said item.

“What kind?” the girl asked tilting her head and watching him rummage through his bag. She could only imagine the mess in there. She shuddered.

“Peanut butter,” he simply said as he pulled the bag of cookies out and handed them to Ollie. She, in turned stared at the cookies and then at Jisung.

“What do you want?” she asked crossing her arms and fighting against grabbing her favorite cookies and devouring them.

“What do you mean? I can’t just give my best friend her favorite cookies?” Jisung asked offended, leaning back in his seat.

“You never get me cookies just because you want to,” Ollie stated lazy smile in place.

“Yes I do!” he protested.

“Not peanut butter. And especially not the ones from the bakery that’s 20 minutes from here,” she said matter of factly.

“I was in the neighborhood,” he shrugged.

“Doing what?” she prodded his leg with her shoe.

“Buying cookies for my Noona,” he quietly stated, looking at her with a pout. She groaned and grabbed the cookies, mumbling about cute sad squirrels.

Jisung smirked and watched as she took a bite out of the first cookie from the bag and hummed in content. He swore he saw her make heart eyes.

Laughing he stated, “But there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Ollie looked a him, cheeks filled with cookies, making her  look like a chipmunk. Her eyes told him to go on. “I suggested you to Chan-hyung.”

Ollie finished chewing then said, “What do you mean? Isn’t he forming a boy group?” She took another bite of a cookie.

“Yup.”

Ollie paused with a lazy smile, “Jisungie. Do we need to go over the difference in anatomy between a boy and a girl?”

“Dear God, no!” he exclaimed, shooting her an incredulous look. The girl chuckled at his reaction.

“Okay… Then how does this work?” she asked picking one of the larger cookies, breaking it in half giving it to the boy. Weirdly enough, she wasn’t opposed to the idea.

Jisung was surprised at how relaxed she looked while talking about the possibility of joining an all boy group as the only girl. “Uh, well the group has 8 members, that’s including Chan-hyung and myself, and after showing him some of your stuff, he wants to add you as the last member of the group,” Jisung said, taking on a serious tone.

Ollie put the bag of cookies down and looked at her dongsaeng. The idea of possibly debuting again frighten and excited her. Suddenly, all different types of scenarios appeared in her head, all of them leading to a possible failed group. She squeezed her eyes shut and took in deeps breaths. There no reason to believe that this group wouldn’t succeed. Third time's a charm, right?

“Noona, I think you would be perfect for the group. Chan-hyung thinks so too,” Jisung said as he watched Ollie lose herself in her head, “Forget the past. Focus on the now. Chan-hyung wants you for your talent and experience in the industry.” He scooted closer to her, reaching for her hand.

“Are you sure? Cause I’m pretty sure I’m bad luck,” she laughed mirthlessly.

Jisung shook his head, “No, you’re not.” He then prompted her to look at him. Reluctantly, she faced him, finding it hard to look him in the eyes, but still managing to do so.

“I truly believe that all of the hardships you faced, were to prepare you for this moment. For now. You were meant to be here. This group; this group is where you belong.” Ollie had never seen Jisung so serious before. A small smile spread on her face as she took in what he said and nodded slightly.

“Sorry. I’m just scared,” she sheepishly stated.

“You’re allowed to feel scared. Just know you’re not alone. Have faith in yourself, in me, and in your future members,” Jisung said, smile appearing.

Ollie laughed, “Thanks.” Jisung shook his head, smiling. They both sat silently, Ollie eating her cookies again.

“So, is it official, that I’ll be in the group?” Ollie asked looking at Jisung.

“See, now that’s the funny thing,” Jisung said looking everywhere, but at Ollie.

“What do you mean?” she asked, cookie forgotten.

“Well, you see… Chan-hyung literally told me last night that he wanted you in the group. He was going to tell you later today, but I got excited and came without him knowing,” Jisung said then laid his head on her shoulder.

“Yah! Won’t he get mad?” Ollie asked poking his temple, pushing him off her shoulder.

“Yah!” he mocked, “I should be the one to tell you. I’m your best friend!”

Ollie rolled her eyes, “I’m gonna have so much fun being in a group with you.”

“You love me,” Jisung said laying his head on her lap, looking up at her.

“Yes I do,” she laughed.

“Good, cause I love you too.”

Maybe debuting for a third time won’t be so bad after all.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Once again, let me know what you think, and if you have any request!

Ollie’s Masterlist

[ruwithmeguys]

I had questions about the newest story you've written. Which has killed me. Just like all the others. Can you give us a little background information on that universe? Did Oliver and LL try to go back to their relationship? Or did we still get some Sarah and Oliver like in season two? Did Oliver stay on his dark path because he never met Felicity? Are we seeing season one Oliver as the mayor? Or am I jumping the gun on questions that will be answered? It's all so interesting!

Hi!

IT KILLED YOU???

Oh good. That’s great. I aim for it you know, with some stories more than others. Awesome. Good stuff.

(THANK CHRIST)

Ok!

Did Oliver and LL try to go back to their relationship? Or did we still get some Sarah and Oliver like in season two?

Flipside S1 and 2: in this verse, Oliver shared a single night with Sara after which they both decided it would never work. Later, he and LL spent several months trying and failing to make a real relationship work, grow and thrive. Tommy wasn’t around and there was no Felicity. Loneliness played a huge part in it (Oliver) as did reaching for the stars (LL). It started with good intentions, smiles and sweetness.

For Laurel it meant living a dream she’d thought died.

For Oliver, it was security and a shot at moving forwards.

Love shouldn’t about safety or aspirations. Love is love because love.

It grew strained over time and the lack of trust - there was barely any to start with - essentially destroyed it, but what puts the cherry on top is that when LL questioned Oliver’s desire (lack of) to get married, his response was:

“You want to get married? Why? You haven’t even mentioned it.”

Adding William into the mix, made the whole thing go nuclear.

But LL forever regretted letting him go: immediately afterwards, Oliver went underground and she could never tell him that it didn’t matter that he had a son. It didn’t matter that he didn’t tell her things about his five years away or about his nightmares that frequently woke him. She could tolerate a half relationship as long as he didn’t stray.

Oliver regretted dragging on their relationship, thinking in doing so he could personally see to her safety since she was, to put kindly, stubborn as hell. There was love there, but not the kind that involved marriage, children and building one life together. Not the kind with implicit trust, unconditional love and belief. Not one that held hope in its centre.

When Oliver came out of hiding, after everything was settled, they had a talk. It was short.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve had time to figure it out. I’m... it’s better now. We should talk. Have dinner with me.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s just lunch. There are things we need to say, a lot of history exists between us.”

“Too much history.”

“It’s a foundation.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

“Ollie... I’m happy with you.”

“...But I’m not.”

“How can you say that to me? We were together for months!”

“We don’t trust each other. On bad days, you can barely stand me.”

“That’s normal...”

“No it isn’t. I want to be with someone who I go to on bad days because they make the bad days good. I want to be with someone who I know believes in me, who trusts me without questioning my every move and thought. Someone who sees who I can be rather than who I was. And I want to be that for someone too.”

“We had that.”

“We didn’t come close. And I don’t deserve it anyway, but if I’m going to be with someone, that’s what I want. And that isn’t you.”

It was also one of five real conversations they had before she was killed.

In this verse, LL never put on a mask and Sara didn’t die. LL gets killed because she pushes her way into a dangerous case she’s working on. It’s something she does when she’s trying to forget things. She buries herself inside a case and gets tunnel vision.

Oliver finds her dying. LL’s last words to him are... not what Oliver needed to hear. There might be a little more on that later in the story.

Did Oliver stay on his dark path because he never met Felicity?

Oliver did have a guy: Diggle. But without Felicity, the buffer, they suffered. Without that one person to believe in him, always, who can harness his light, Oliver started to... a good word to use is ‘degrade’.

He wasn’t necessarily bad. But the things he did/does? They’re questionable. His decisions tend to be skewed because he has issues with perspective. He’s kind of lost sight of good, simple, gentle. Nice. REAL. Warm. He hasn’t had warm in a while.

Since this little story is set in S6 (roughly episode 20) I can say that he and Diggle have been at odds since season 5: there’s a nice big chasm neither can cross. John, because he feels Oliver no longer listens and is driven by ego and pain. Oliver because, deep down, he thinks he’s an abomination that’ll get his last friend killed and would rather be hated by him, than have that happen. That and, he think’s his way of doing things in the right way.

This Oliver killed Slade Wilson.

This Oliver spent months with Ra’s instead of weeks and is still considered the League’s Head.

This Oliver killed Malcolm Merlyn.

This Oliver is more alone than you’ve ever seen him on the show.

Are we seeing season one Oliver as the mayor? Or am I jumping the gun on questions that will be answered?

Kind of, yeah.

It won’t all be said in the story because that’s not what matters so feel free to ask. What matters is who he is and pretends not to be. And who Felicity sees right through.

And she’s so deserving of love in comparison to him, he feels, he can’t fathom why she’s alone. Or with Diaz. 

Or why his first thought when he saw her was, thank god you’re here.

Thank you really; it always a lovely surprise getting asks like this.

P.S. Here’s hoping I can include a scene like this before the end:

[scumbagbaker]

Amen || Irish AU

He didn’t believe in God. Not that he ever had, but he understood the urge to, during recovery. It was tempting, the idea of some higher power that saw everything, that held them accountable, that knew the truth no matter what they proclaimed at the start of meetings. Benjy kept his head bowed and his eyes open during the prayer, just enough to look like he was going along with it all, nothing more, nothing less.

The same concept wasn’t applied to recovery itself. He’d taken to the 12 steps like a duck to water. No, that wasn’t quite right. He’d taken to the 12 steps like an animal that had spent its entire life in a zoo, who finally got to see real grass without bars for the first time. Sobriety had given him a freedom he didn’t know was possible. the idea of that cage surrounding him again was enough motivation to stay sober, with or without any kind of God.

Benjy feels his three year sober chip in his wallet as he sits on the train, his stomach souring with dread as the scenery gets more and more familiar. Three years sober, as of 29 days ago. Two and a half years single, since Ollie liked vodka more than him, and now, despite his success as a sober person, Benjy had come to the step he’d been dreading.

Amends.

Benjy stares at the piece of paper in his hands, tracing over the unfamiliar address with his thumb. He lets his mind wander, lets his thoughts creep into the darkness that’s always there on the edge of his consciousness-what would their address be if he had stayed? Would he had been able to give them a house in Foxrock? He doubts it. Benjy thinks of the sometimes pitifully thin envelopes he’d sent, without fail, every single one of those hundreds of weeks since he’d left. He could’ve gotten them something, at least, maybe, if he’d been able to keep it together. If he could’ve been a fraction of what they had deserved.

He’d told his sponsor, a grizzled old Scot named Al, nearly everything. How’d he’d slipped out early in the morning, how they’d both been asleep in the bed next to him. How she’d woken up, just a little, and that Benjy had told her he’d been right back.

It wasn’t the first time he’d lied to Cleona, not by a long shot, but Benjy couldn’t think of a lie that hurt more.

And now, 5 years, 8 months and 13 days later, he was finally turning his lie into the truth.

He’d called the bar three times, hanging up out of fear the first two. When the “Hello?” was softer than the two before it, Benjy faced his fear and spoke.

“Killian?”

Benjy hears his former best friend suck in a quick breath.

“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve.”

“I know.”

“What do you want?”

Benjy fights the urge to hang up again.

“I’m-in the program. I need to-I have to tell her I’m sorry, Kili. In person. And Shay too. Don’t you think they deserve that?”

Benjy, though he didn’t and still doesn’t believe in God, found himself praying in the silent crackle of the phone line.

“She moved on, you know.”

He hadn’t known. Not fully. There’d been a tiny, stupid, egotistical part of him that had hoped-

“As she should’ve. And-”

Benjy fights the lump in his throat to get his son’s name out.

“Seamus? Does he-?”

“Mate. You left before he was one.”

Killian’s voice isn’t accusatory, Benjy could deal with accusations. What he couldn’t handle was what was in his should have been brother-in-law’s voice; pity.

Whether the pity was there because Benjy had missed out on so much or because he was stupid enough to think his son would remember him, Benjy wasn’t sure.

“Right, right. Yeah. I-I’m moving back to town next month. Gotta take care of some stuff with my mum. And I figured she wasn’t still at uh, the cottage, but I was wondering...could you tell me where she’s staying?”

“What’s going on with your mum?” Killian says, suddenly wary. Benjy’s mom was just as nasty and cruel as any of the women in the neighborhood they’d grown up in. The fact that she hated Irish people was just a fun little bonus that further alienated Benjy’s already alienated ass.

“She died.” Benjy says flatly, no emotion in his voice.

“Oh.”

This is when normal people would apologize, but Killian knew Benjy enough to know not to waste his breath. Still, if his mum had been good for anything other than a genetic predisposition to substance abuse, maybe her death would give Benjy just enough sympathy...

“Alright.”

Benjy could continue falling into his own memory, but the train whistle sounds and the world outside starts slowing down. He gathers his secondhand, single suitcase from the overhead compartment. It contains two pairs of jeans, six pairs of pants, two plaid shirts, four black t shirts, four white t shirts, the suit he’d bought himself when he turned eighteen, nine pairs of socks, three photographs, paperwork from his mum’s estate lawyer, two dozen packs of cigarettes, and, the cumulation of three years of sober, sweaty work:  €18,358.45

The cash took up most of the space, so Benjy reckons his suit is properly wrinkled now. He pulls his wool lined jean jacket closer around his shoulders as he exits the train heads towards the station doors. It was early April, the weekend after her birthday but Benjy tries to pretend like he doesn’t remember that. He pulls the black stocking cap down further over his ears, wishing he’d worn three of his flannels over his black t shirt instead of two. His yellow converse were nearly brown now, and Benjy is just thankful he doesn't have to open his umbrella before he hails his taxi.

The driver does a double take when Benjy gives him the address-clearly he isn’t the usual faire of that neighborhood, but he just nods at him and starts to dig in his bag for enough money to cover the cost without looking obvious. Once he’s achieved that, Benjy stares out the window, watching as the buildings surrounding them get nicer and nicer. They pause at an intersection with an empty storefront, and Benjy stares at his reflection in the window. He should’ve gotten a haircut, the curls on his neck were peaking out from under his hat, making his hair dangerously close to a mullet. He had at least managed to shave off his mustache, terrified of looking too visibly queer in front of someone who, a lifetime ago, had introduced him to his first queer friends. He looks odd without it, he decides. Somehow too young and too old all at once-though Benjy supposes that is how he feels. He’s still not entirely sure how he’d managed to make it to twenty-five, and, dully, he wonders if he’ll be strong enough to make it to thirty.

The dullness turns back to dread when the cab parks. Benjy has half a mind to tell him to forget it, or to keep it running, certain that whoever answers that door will have him thrown out at once. But, wordlessly, Benjy hands the bills forward and gets out of the cab, standing and staring up at the gorgeously expensive house in front of him even after it drives away.

Benjy takes a breath, his hand slipping into his pocket to fiddle with his 3 years chip. Al had found him a group to go while he was in town, staying at his mum’s “house” that Benjy was pretty sure wasn’t outfitted for regular heating, but facing the near homelessness he’d grown up with again was going to be rough. It was going to be too much, Benjy knew, if Cleona opened the door only to slam it in his face.

If she refused to see him, Benjy was going right back to the train station and getting a ticket back to London. Even if that meant...

Could he come all this way and not see his son? Was he such a coward that he’d run away a second time? Maybe then Benjy would wait until Seamus was old enough to deck him properly. Or maybe, Benjy can meet his dad the same time Seamus meets him.

Benjy is able to move his suitcase out of the way just in the nick of time as he violently vomits into the storm drain at his feet. Two impossibly polished women pushing prams give him the side eye from across the street. Benjy waves, for some stupid reason, and calls out “bad salad!” because, clearly, that explained projectile vomiting in a neighborhood where the benches cost more than everything he’s ever owned.

Benjy closes his eyes. He pictures his son, the hole in his heart, in his life. He pictures the thousands of versions of Shay he had spent the past 2,078 days missing. He repeats it to himself, the mantra he’s told no one about.

“I am the cycle breaker, I will make amends. I am the cycle breaker, I will make amends.”

Benjy sucks in a breath and opens the gate, heading up the front walk to the impressive house. He wasn’t sure where Cleona stood on God, but he hoped with a hope he had no business having that she believed in second chances.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters Season 3 Episode 6, A Window Into An Empty Room -- Review

Welcome to another Shadowhunters review. Yup, it's time for my weekly subjugation of bad writing. But at this point, who's fault is it really? The writers? Or mine -- for consistently choosing to come back to this show. I could quite simply say no and drop the show but I'm just too damn curious to do that. I guess at this point, it’s self-imposed torture. So Season 3, Episode 6, A Window Into an Empty Room, here we come.

So some weeks back, I made a post about my thoughts and opinions on the Dom Controversy and I got a lot of new followers because of that. Apparently, some of you think I'm really wise and mature for saying the things I said in that post. And whereas I'm honored that you're showing an interest in me, I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these. I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer. 

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie. 

If any of you know me, you would think this would be the kind of episode I'd enjoy. Just chalk full of character moments and whatnot. That stuff's catnip for your resident hopeless romantic. But this episode really left me feeling apathetic and when I say apathetic, I mean BORED. Considering most of this episode took place in a bar, you’d think I would have a great time with this episode. Watching the Shadowhunters characters hang out a bar, watching their shenanigans, it should’ve been a lot of fun. Yeah, no. I can't believe I wasted my lunch hour watching this episode. This episode had a couple of issues. 1)Remember, how I talk about how the show switches through plots super quickly and as a result you lose any sense of empathy for the story being told? Well, that's what happened here except it was less about plot and more about character dynamics. We kept on switching through character scenes and you couldn't really get a grasp on the good, juicy character bits because once you were starting to feel something you were immediately taken to a completely different character dynamic and then you lost whatever impact that scene would've had the potential to leave you with. And 2) Subtlety. This show is always not subtle but this episode in particular failed a lot. It was completely unsubtle in everything it tried to do. And of course, like I say in every review, the dialogue is atrocious. It was so forced and it made me want to pull my hair out. I wish I knew what happened in the writers room. I wish I could have a meeting with the writers and be all, "Yo, this isn't how real people talk to each other." But let's get on with this.

The A-Plot...Which I Wish Would Hurry Up and End

Let's talk about this just so I can get it out of the way. Still hate this plot. There's nothing interesting about it. Lillith is being her typical bland self, giving Jace the exact same villain monologue she gave him a couple of episodes ago. Which by the way, makes no sense. Why is she grand standing to someone who clearly is not in control of his own mind at the moment? I mean, it would seem like he doesn't even really remember what happens so what's the point of her gloating to him? And like I said, she gives him her motivations a second time as if the audience didn't remember the first time. I really hate it when the writers treat me like I'm stupid.

But apparently, Owl Jace needs to find one last virtuous human to, I guess, desecrate their purity. I think that's what's going on here. Jace finds one on the street but bumps into Alec before he can complete his mission. Then we get this overly friendly Jace persona who is obviously not Jace. This is what I mean by subtlety. You can tell clearly from the tone, that Jace doesn't really have any feelings about anyone for that matter. Which I find odd to begin with since Lillith only took away his love for Clary. He should still be feeling things for Alec and Izzy, right? Unless his ability to love is tied to Clary, which on a psychological level, I hope isn't the case because that's really unhealthy. So for whatever reason, the show decided to go all the way across the room instead of just meeting somewhere in the middle with this. Writers, your audience is smart. You can throw in some subtlety, a pinch of subtext, and we'll pick up on it. 

Everyone has a seemingly happy reunion with Jace but Clary (being her typical Mary Sue self) feels like something's off. She meets with Magnus to discuss the demon who attacked her and after getting some kind of demonic heat signature off of Clary's body (yeah, it's just as convenient and weird as it sounds) determines that the demon he's been fighting is the same demon that attacked her. He sends a fire message for assistance and we get a visit from Brother Zachariah. Book fans know who he is. And I myself, as a book fan, didn't give two shits. Why? Because while I applaud the show for putting in book nods, especially someone as much loved as Brother Zachariah is, these nods mean absolutely nothing without the context. Brother Zachariah was completely unnecessary here. It could've been any Silent Brother or really any warlock to relay this information. And seeing how they've messed up the yin fen storyline, I don't want them to touch any of the TID characters. Please, keep them separate in their own universes. As I've said, I don't mind when the show puts book things in but at the same time, I wish they would throw the books away and do their own thing because them mixing and mashing their own ideas for the story plus book ideas hasn't been working out very well. Choose one track of adaptation and stay on that track. Trying to do both isn't working. It just makes the story overly convoluted and confusing. 

While at the Hunter's Moon, Jace comes across both Ollie and Charlie who are apparently giving off virtuous auras. And at this point, I was good with either one of them going crazy and potentially dying. I don't like either one of them but Jace goes after Ollie just as Clary and Magnus realize that she's in danger. They show up, completely suck at fighting Owl Jace and then Luke shoots Jace a few times and that causes him to lose the weird shape shifting mask he has going on and climbs up a building spider-man style and Ollie, now possessed (I guess), runs off. Most likely to kill her lover. As horrible as it sounds, I'm hoping both her and her partner (Sam) die in the next episode. I find both of them woefully uninteresting and since the show doesn’t have the time to flesh them out as characters, they're just a waste of screen time. And now everyone is super shocked now that they know what the audience has known for a long time, Jace is the Owl. Although, honestly, Clary didn't react super shocked. How about once more with feeling, Clary? 

And also, let's talk about how dumb the writers apparently think we are. Magnus tells Clary that Lillith most likely is hiding in human form and Clary legitimately asks, "Is that even possible?" What show has this girl been watching? Clary, practically everything in your world shape shifts. You, yourself, have done it. You turned the Mortal Cup into a World's Best Dad mug. The first demon you ever encountered was a shapeshifter. Of course it's fucking possible. Why did the writers feel like this question needed to be asked? Did they think we forgot? Considering how often it's integrated into the story, I'm thinking not. I know I'm certainly not likely to forget considering what a huge plot hole that shape shifting rune is and I'm reminded of the plothole every time its used. 

Also, I'm not sure if it was just me, but did anyone else find Clary particularly cringe-worthy in this episode? None of her lines were working for me. But then again, I guess I've never made any secret about how much I don't like her as a character to begin with. Plain and simple, she just such a cheesy, one-dimensional character and Kat really doesn't bring anything special to the table in portraying her. Even though I think Kat McNamara is a wonderful person, I think she's absolutely adorable, her as Clary just has never worked for me. 

Also, this episode ended in a really strange spot. They ended right on the climax. Even though I was glad the episode had finally ended, I was left with, "Well, where's the rest of it?" Which is something I haven't had to think since the ye old days of Season One. 

More Malec Immortality Drama

So we got more Malec drama in this episode with plenty of Alec salt, which I adore. Because speaking as a mortal being who will eventually die, coming to terms that your immortal lover is going to watch you wither and die over the years can't really be that comforting of a thought. But again, while this is a plot point in the books, I don't think it works that well for Show Malec. Show Alec has always been proven that he wants to talk things out, get things out in the open and here, he's just kind of giving up and letting Magnus call the shots on how this fight goes just doesn't feel like Show Alec. And so help me, if in the next episode he apologizes for everything and Magnus apologizes for nothing, I'm going to pull out my hair.

Unfortunately, this fight is very in character for Show Magnus. How dismissive he is of issues but this is an issue I feel he really shouldn't be so naturally dismissive of. He's had a lot of lovers. Surely, he's had this problem before. And yet, he just expects Alec to forget about it and just be fine with it? No words of wisdom, nothing? At least in the book, there was kind of a reason given for how this was handled. When Malec first started, Magnus was very upfront with the relationship they were in. They were to live in the now and not talk about his past and it only became an issue when Alec realized he wanted more. And then Show Magnus gets angry with Alec and calls Alec a child and Alec decides to leave. Which good for Alec. I feel like they both need to do some soul searching here. Alec needs to figure out what he really wants and if Magnus can give him what he really wants. We all want love but love is founded upon equality. It requires both parties to be on equal ground. Both parties need to be able to grow and change with the other. And that's something that's not possible for Magnus who won't be able to grow and change with Alec. So Alec needs to decide if he's really okay with that. And Magnus also needs to look at this and really think about why this bothers Alec. Why Alec can't just let this go. He's essentially asking Alec to give up everything while he loses nothing. It's that compromising issue I've often talked about with Magnus. For him, it's always his way or the highway. He never meets at common ground. Like I've said before, there's probably a reason why he's had 12,000 relationships and I don't think it entirely has to do with the immortality issue. If I'm dating someone who refuses to compromise, I'll show them my lack of compromising when I toss them to the curb.

And Magnus stans, feel free to come at me if you want. But you’ll only be wasting your time as I have little to no investment in this show or its characters anymore. I’m literally just watching to see what happens. 

But Alec meets that shadowhunter who complimented his bravery last episode and of course, we only get one nice shadowhunter in the Institute because he's needed to further Alec's plot. Why can't there just be nice people at the Insitute? Why do they all have to be jerks? Complexity, writers, PLEASE. I get that the shows’ going for this whole xenophobic angle with the shadowhunters but not only is it boring as hell but I think it's kind of unbelievable considering these shadowhunters are living in NYC, home of the weird -- and that's just on a mundane level, I bet the shadow world is infinitely more weird. Maybe the Institute's xenophobic shadowhunters would make more sense if the Institute was in Lima Ohio but NYC, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But blonde shadowhunter (he doesn't even have a name yet) tells Alec to pretty much just stay true to himself and do whatever he feels is right. I'm not sure if this is going to lead to Alec cheating on Magnus, who knows. But hopefully this fight will end with both of them having done some thorough soul searching and coming out with a much stronger relationship than they had before. Because I'll be real with you guys, the way Malec was left off in the finale of 2B, even though they were together, it still felt like a pebble could be thrown at the foundation of their relationship and it would crumble to dust. And we got fans talking about how much they can't wait for these two to get married? They have far too many issues to be thinking about marriage right now. 

But in this Malec subplot, Magnus does tell Clary that both he and Alec said things they regret so #progress for Magnus, I guess. 2B Magnus would never have said that. Never would've entertained the idea that he might've reacted badly to something. 

Izzy and the Boyfriend I Don't Care About...And Then the Boyfriend I Do Care About

The show is really toting around this Charlie angle. They're trying so hard to make the audience see this guy as a legitimate character. But the show's issue is that by them having every character tell us how great Charlie is, good character that does not make. We need to see him interact with Izzy, interact with Izzy's world, build real bonds with these other characters for me to give a shit about him. The only thing we know about this guy is he's a pediatric surgeon which I find laughable considering the atrocious stitches he gave Izzy last episode and potentially a creepy stalker. See my episode 5 review if you're confused about my stalker remark. Basically, the show has its characters treat Charlie as this amazing guy for Izzy but do nothing to make the audience care about him. He's just a very bland, run of the mill character and I hope he doesn't stick around for too long. But then again, did he really have any potential to be anything but that anyway? The show keeps on jumping through plots and character dynamics so quickly, they don't have time to develop Charlie as a character. Again, subtlety is the key here. When introducing a new character, the audience doesn't want a character jammed down there throat and being told we should like him, we want to make that decision on our own with actual given character development. But sadly we get none of that.

Then we got some Sizzy feels which were just awesome. I really like the angle the show has been going with Sizzy. Just being these really casual friends supporting each other whenever they need it. This may be the one endgame book couple that the show doesn't completely screw up. I actually really like what they're doing here and hopefully they'll keep doing what they're doing. I don't know if they're going to be endgame in the show but I really hope so. Alberto and Emeraude have a really fun chemistry and I'm interested to see how that'll play out in a relationship dynamic. But again, it all falls on the writers to be subtle and complex with the relationship. Because if there's any endgame couple within the TMI books that's complex, it's Sizzy. 

Also, Izzy was completely badass with her staff again. Yes, I approve. Throw that whip to the trash.

More Heidi vs Maureen

We got more Heidi in this episode and whereas I didn't completely hate her storyline, I can't help but feel this might be more impactful with Show Maureen. For one thing, Show Maureen has a relationship with the audience. We've met her before so we're more likely to care about her. She was a friend of Simon's to begin with so the guilt of knowing that he did this to one of his friends would've been so much more powerful. And then giving her up to the Praetor Lupus probably would've killed him. I keep on imagining this storyline of Simon accidentally turning Maureen and Raphael torturing her into becoming a daylighter and through her torture the only thing she could focus on was Simon and the massive crush she had on him. That through this torture, he was her center and this caused her to fixate on him in an unhealthy way. Simon could've been dealing with this and having a hard time trying to save Maureen from herself but also trying to protect his friends from her. Since Maureen was also Clary's friend we could've had some interesting character dynamics with her. Clary, despite being a fully fledged shadowhunter, still wants to help her friend. And then at the end, when Maureen really goes off the rails, Clary realizes the identity problem she has. She hasn't chosen to be a shadowhunter or a mundane. She's trying to keep one foot in each world instead of choosing. And her lack of choosing is what brought her to the Maureen situation. So yeah, this basically just turned into a rant on how I think Maureen would've been far more interesting in this plot than Heidi could ever hope to be.

Also, I want to point out how dumb it is to incorporate Heidi into the story only to get rid of her a few episodes later. If she doesn't come back at a later point, what was the point of this storyline? It'll just turn into a waste of screen time. 

Maryse De-Runed and Everyone's Fine With It

So everyone's being super chill about Maryse's derunement. Or I should say everyone who has a name on this show and if they have an attachement to an actual character plot. I still don't agree with Maryse's punishment. I definitely feel like it's a little uneven and dumb. I kind of wish we got something leading up to the derunement. But instead Maryse just pops up and is all, "yup, no longer got my tats." The show also needs to make up their minds on rules for this derunement as well. Are they or are they not allowed to have relationships with other shadowhunters? The altercation when she first shows up leads me to think they're not but then Alec as the leader of the Institute says no, Marsye is welcome anytime. And I'm all for Alec breaking rules but then I'm also like, "It is the law, why is he still the head of the Institute if he keeps on breaking rules?" Clearly he's the only progressive shadowhunter around besides blondie. I highly doubt they'd allow someone like him to be in a position of power. Shadowhunters are a military force and in a military force, rules are probably the most important thing within the structure. You don’t break the rules and not suffer consequences. But this is Freeform, what am I thinking? Apply logic? Maybe I really have gone insane.

Then we get some really clunky dialogue. Seriously, who says, "My Daughter" in a serious way anymore? Whenever my parents utter that phrase, it's usually meant to be sarcastic or glib. And Izzy tells Maryse she, Alec, and Jace are taking her out for the night. In which they spend some time with Maryse and then all immediately abandon her at the Hunter's Moon because you know, they've got relationship dynamics to flesh out after all. Maryse was just a way to get them all in one place. 

And in another attack of the writers not being subtle, we have Luke out of nowhere flirting with Maryse which I found to be quite cringey. Not the acting because I could watch Isaiah Mustafa all day. It's just him out of nowhere being all of sudden overly friendly with Maryse. When it was teased that Maryse and Luke were going to become a thing, I was like, "I'm down with that." They're relationship could be really interesting. But of course, I forgot about the writer's inability to be subtle and a relationship like theirs requires both complexity and subtlety. Which sadly does not exist in this show's resume. 

Well, that's Season 3 Episode 6, A Window Into an Empty Room for you. Man, that title is a mouthful. Honestly, not a fan of this episode. A couple of scenes I liked but as I've said previously, this show has a tendency to have too many plots going on at once and as a result can't give enough time to those individual plots. The same thing happened here with this episode. Instead of plot, though, it was character relationships. Lots of character relationships to get through but not nearly enough time was spent with on any single one to leave me resonating with emotion. It was all very clunky and boring to watch. And this episode was extremely unsubtle with everything it attempted to do. Plus, the dialogue was atrocious and I really do feel like these writers are either 1) sociopaths who have only a very surface level grasp of human emotion and a very surface level grasp of what you should say in certain situations or 2) they feed their scripts through a robot that writes the most generic dialogue to move the episode along. It’s not even that the dialogue is bad (I mean it is, don’t get me wrong), but it’s also boring as hell. I'd probably give this episode a C. I just didn't find it interesting. Sorry guys. As always, I'll hope for better next week. 

That's all I've got for you guys. If you had any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. As always, please be respectful. These are my opinions and they do not, in any way, reflect yours. If you really feel you need to be a troll and leave me hate, feel free to do so but just know, I probably won't respond. Like I’ve said, I have very little investment in this show and its characters. Leaving me hate isn’t going to do anything because I just don’t care enough to be offended.

[peachyparkerr]

Jonah Marais’s Little Sister (Z.H.) ~ 2/2

Part 2! Part One  How will she and Zach tell Jonah when he’s made it clear that having a relationship with a bandmate was not up for discussion?

She was stressing out. How was she going to tell Jonah now? He made it clear that it wasn’t up for discussion, and she agreed with him. But she was already dating Zach and the last thing she wanted to do was breakup with him. 

Another bad part about dating in secret was, when things were frustrating and she needed to just vent there was nobody to talk about it with because nobody knew. She could talk to Zach, but he was downstairs keeping up the act and she did not want to drag him away and cause suspicion amongst his band mates because of a mess she dragged herself into. 

 So instead, she just sat there, silently screaming her frustrations into a pillow she put over he face. Later on, while the guys left to go run some errands she explored the house. She had stayed there many times, but never gotten the chance to actually see ‘the behind the scenes’. She found herself outside, with her feet in the pool when suddenly,

  “Y/N?“ She looked up, startled. 

  “Jack! Don’t scare me like that.” She took a deep breath to calm down and then looks back at her feet.

“Sorry, what are you doing out here?” He took a seat next to her letting his feet dangle over the water. 

 "Thinking…I thought you went out with the other guys?“

 "I was trying to perfect my olly when they were on their way out so I stayed behind, what are you thinking about?”

 "Just thinking about somestuff…“ She was trying to avoid the subject

 "Are you thinking about you and Zach dating kind of stuff?” He asked as she looked up at him confused. 

 "How-?“

 "How did I know?” He smiled at her. “It wasn’t that hard to figure it out.“ 

“Could you explain how you know? You’re making worried.” Of course she was worried, how could she not? A secret she’s tried so hard to keep secret is apparently not a secret. 

 "You don’t have to worry. Nobody else knows.“ Jack reassured her. 

“Do you remember one of the first times you came to visit? You brought this Winnie the Pooh plush, Jonah was teasing you about it say you never travel without it because that’s how important it is to you. 

 You left it here last time you visited us and when you realized you left it you were already home. A couple days ago I noticed that Zach somehow had an extra pillow so I went to steal it while he was asleep but instead he was sleeping with your bear. After that, it just clicked in my brain and everything fell into place. 

He was more attached to his phone, how he would start smiling every time Jonah mentioned you, the random excuses you both would make to leave the room every time you were here. In my opinion, it became obvious.” He explained to her.

 "I guess we weren’t too good at hiding it…“ Starting to feel even worse than she already did, she let her eyes fell back to her feet. She was already upset that she had to work so hs

 "How long have you guys been together?” Jack asked her 

 "Four months or so. “ 

 "And you two have been hiding from Jonah the whole time?“ 

 "I didn’t want to hide it from him, and I hate that I have been. But we are just, happy, really happy with everything else in our relationship and we were just scared of it ending. “

 Y/N sighed and looked up at Jack. “Are you going to tell Jonah?" 

 "No, I’m not going to tell Jonah. ” Jack said looking back at her. 

 "Really?”

"Yes, really.” He smiled at her as she began to feel a weight lift off her shoulders. 

 “Thank you, Jack, it means a lot. But, why?” 

 She knew that if she questioned him not telling Jonah could change his mind about it, but she didn’t like lying to Jonah let alone having his best friends lie to him too. Then, Jack put his hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. 

 “You’re his little sister, but you’re also my little sister. We may not be the same DNA but you’re still family to me. Jonah wants to protect you, and I want to protect you too. You’re happy, and I see how Zach looks at you when you’re not paying attention, so no I’m not gonna tell Jonah. ”

 She smiled at him before hugging him. 

 "I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.“ She put her head on his shoulder 

"Hopefully you’ll never have to find out.” Then he wrapped his arm around her before kissing her on the forehead and they both headed back inside.  

 •••

It was a little later, all the guys had come back. They all ate some dinner, talked about tour, and had a small jam session. Zach really wanted to talk to her, he had barely seen her the whole day she was here, but he needed to find the right time to sneak away. 

 Once it got late everyone started to head to bed, Zach texted her asking if he could come to her room. And soon enough she heard a knock on her door.

 She opened to door to reveal her boyfriend standing there smiling. Letting him in, he closed the door behind himself    

 "I missed you all day today.” He said as he hugged her. 

 “I missed you too, but I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.” She pulled away from their hug and looked down at the floor. 

“What did you want to talk about?” She was quiet, but he started to hold her hand causing her to look up at him. 

“It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

She took a deep breath. 

 “Well, Jack told me that he knows that you and I are dating in secret.” 

 “He does?” 

 “Yes he does, he said he wasn’t going to tell Jonah but…” She trailed off and looked back to the ground. 

 “But? Y/N, you can tell me. Don’t be afraid.” 

“I want to tell Jonah about us, and I want to do it soon, before I leave. I know he  said it wasn’t up for discussion for me to date any of you guys, but I want to tell him about us, even if it won’t be easy. A lot of things could go wrong, but I don’t want to lie anymore, it would only make things more complicated." 

 Her eyes continued to look down but then he l lifted her chin up so she would look at him. 

 "It’s okay, we will tell him together.”

 "Even if it won’t be easy?“  He smiled.  "Even if it won’t easy.” She smiled back at him and reached up to kiss him. 

 Right as they began to kiss, someone came into the room. “Hey Y/N, do you have my - What’s going on here? Why are you kissing her? Oh my god, get away from each other.” 

“Jonah, we can explain.” Y/N said, immediately pulling away from Zach

“How do you explain why my little sister is kissing my best friend?”

“Jonah, please, just let us explain.” Zach tried to reason with him

“I’d like to see you try, so go ahead. Explain. “ Jonah said coldly. 

“Jonah, Zach and I, are dating. I know what you said about-”

“-About not dating my band mates, specifically my bandmates? How about when I said my little sister was off limits, Zach? How about when I said these things weren’t up for discussion?”

“Jonah, I know you’re upset-” Zach tried to defend their mistake, but he ultimately failed. 

“Yes, Zach, I am upset. How long has this been going on?” 

“Four months. “ They both looked down at the ground in defeat. 

“Wow. You’ve lied to me for four months. “ Jonah looked at them with disappointment 

“Jonah, please just let me explain. “ Y/N said

“I don’t want to hear it, not right now. “ And with that he left. 

She sighed and took a deep breath, on the verge of tears. It was her fault, and that’s not why she was upset, she was upset that Jonah had to find out like that. Zach sighed and then hugged her, trying to tell her that everything was going to be okay. 

Then Corbyn, Daniel, and Jack came into her room. 

“What happened? Jonah just walked out randomly and he seemed upset. “ Daniel asked

“He found out that me and Y/N have been dating.” Zach told them 

“Wait, really?” Corbyn said before he and Daniel noticed Zach’s arm around her.

“Congrats bro!” Corbin and Daniel told them 

“I’m guessing Jonah didn’t take it well?” Jack said remembering that Jonah did walk out and Y/N looked really upset. 

“Did Jack know?” Daniel said  

“I figured it out on my own, it seemed obvious to me. “ Jack shrugged

“Jonah did not take it well, I really should talk to him though, any idea where he could be?” Y/N asked them 

“Well, there is one place...” Corbyn began to explain to her

“Do you want me to go with you?” Zach asked her before she left

“I need to do this on my own, but I’ll be fine.” She half smiled at him before leaving. 

•••

She found herself in the backyard. Jonah was sitting down overlooking the view. 

She took a seat next to him and it was quiet between them with the exception of him looking at her when she first sat down. 

“Jo, you don’t have to say anything right this second, but just let me say what I need to say. “ 

Y/N began to fill the silence with her explanation. 

“Zach and I never wanted to hide it from you. We didn’t even know what we were until a lot of time had past from when we first started to hide it. 

There’s no excuse that can erase all the lies that we told you. I don’t expect you to not be angry at us, we deserve it. I should’ve just told you from the beginning, we wanted to. We really did, but we were scared. 

We heard you when you said it wasn’t up for discussion, and we really tried to honor that. Then, after a while, we just couldn’t ignore the feelings that were building up. 

I understand if you still don’t like us together, and Zach and I are prepared to do whatever it takes to fix the damage that’s been done, even it’s not easy. “ 

it was still quiet. 

“You’re always going to be my big brother, Jonah. I never wanted to hurt you, and I don’t want to lose you. “

Still quiet. She was about to get up and go back inside, but then he started to talk. 

“I’m not angry. “

She looked at him in confusion. 

“I’m sad that you two thought you couldn’t just talk to me, but I’m not angry. “

He paused before starting again.

“I didn’t want anybody getting hurt. It’s always been important that I protect you because you’re my baby sister, but he’s like my little brother so I want to protect him too...who else knew?”

“Only Jack, but he figured it out on his own.” 

“...are you happy? With Zach?” 

She tried to hide her smile but she couldn’t help it. 

“Yea, I am happy. Really happy.” 

“I just don’t want you or him getting hurt. “ 

“I know, but Jonah I am not a baby anymore. I understand that you want to protect me, but I’m fine. I’m okay, I’m happy. “ She explained to him

“Then, I’m happy too.”  “Are you sure?”

“You may not be a baby anymore, but you’re still my baby sister, you deserve the world. You’re happy, how could I take that away from you?” Jonah looked at her and half smiled at her. 

He was never going to be perfectly fine with his baby sister dating his best friend, or dating anyone for that matter. Yet he could say that he can still sleep at night knowing his little sister is happy with someone he knows has a heart of gold and will love his little sister with everything he’s got and more. 

Zach was a good guy, and Jonah was going to put Zach’s and Y/N’s happiness before anything else. 

“Thank you, Jonah, it means a lot.” She smiled back at him and they both headed back inside. 

She explained it to Zach, causing him to smile before picking her up and spinning her around and kissing her, finally happy to be able to do it in front of everyone. 

“Can we celebrate now?” Daniel asked them, causing everyone to laugh before saying yes.  

Congratulations were given out by Jack. Corbyn, and Daniel to Y/N and Zach. Jonah stood by and watched, maybe his little sister could handle herself on her own without him protecting her. But she didn’t have to know that. 

•••

sorry it took so long! i have another idea, it’d be a one parter, but not for a while because i have to get ready for school which starts in less than a month and i have so much homework i didn’t do! thanks for reading this <3