#while still being shocked by Heda being so human

[lexa-griffins]

Do you have a photo or gif that just embodies Lexa and Bedwarmer Clarke?

Separately id say this is exactly their vibe

There's a softness about Lexa when she's with Clarke, one that Clarke finds so peculiar because this woman ordered the complete wiping of her people and somehow she is nothing like the ruthless woman she expected her to be but Clarke is still angry and pissed and she was brought to the tower from the brothel to be Heda's bedwarmer and she refuses to wven think of Lexa as anything other than that.

[sir-silly]

The Last War fan review

So, our beloved show has ended. And while I wish things would have gone differently, I did cry with relief when Clarke looked over and saw everyone already waiting for her.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the finale.

1) Going right into the title sequence kind of shocked me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was just immediately like “oh.” It was a bitch-slap in the face that they left a gap in the credits for Bob Morley. Why you gotta do us like that?

2) Murphy screaming “come on” while they used the defibrillator on Emori was heartbreaking. And his little whispered encouragements were so freaking cute.

3) Clarke rampage? Yes, please! I love me a badass woman. However, unlimited ammo is a sin in writing. The moment Octavia picked up the sword was a big “oh yes.”

4) Did Cadogan not care about his son like at all? Lmao. Why is he so hung up on Callie and not his other kid (who I can’t even remember the name of). I don’t care if they explain in the prequel, that’s still a shitty parent choosing favorites. Along with his wife, like, was she not his greatest love? It was Callie? Kinda fucked up.

5) Why the fuck could Jordan figure out it was a test and not a war in 5 seconds when the Disciples were studying that shit for decades? I know he’s Monty’s son, but he’s not a genius or anything.

6) Thoughts on the test: I think Cadogan would have failed and the human race would be destroyed. Why bother asking questions if you already know all the answers?

7) Why wasn’t Gaia in the finale like at all?? Like, what the fuck. She was hunting??? For what?? That really annoyed me because I’ve grown to really like her and there was no point in her not being involved in the last episode. They seriously couldn’t have thrown her in there? Like, come on! Even Niylah was there! (not saying that I don’t like her, it’s just that Gaia has felt far more important to the story than her).

8) I do think that Jasper and Hope are cute together, and I know they spent the majority of their lives either alone or only with their parents, but GOD I can’t stand how awkward they are. Also, I know ya’ll have feelings for each other and shit, but is now really the time to be making out?? Why do people think that’s okay in literally the worst situations? I know it’s a show, but come on.

9) And how the fuck did Jordan throw and catch that sword? He’s a child who’s never fought a day in his life. Unless they suddenly want to tell me that Harper and Monty were secret ninjas and taught him all their tricks, I don’t believe that.

10) I’m being pissy and bringing up things from the past, but I don’t care. Why the fuck couldn’t Harper and Monty gone into cryo? I know they were happy and shit, but I’M NOT. How the fuck did it take so long for him to get into the files for Sanctum? His ass has done that shit a thousand times before in about two minutes and suddenly it takes him 80 years? Bullshit.

11) I’m still being pissy, but how the fuck does Jordan know what a magician is? “For my first trick, I will make an army appear.” Bruh, no. Monty wouldn’t have known what a magician was either. If they weren’t being taught what a Navy Seal was, there’s no way they knew what magicians were. Calling bullshit on that one as well.

12) I was pretty surprised that the Disciples didn’t start firing on Wonkru immediately. Like, this is the war they’ve been gearing up for forever and they don’t attack as soon as possible? Also, where the fuck did Wonkru get their war paint? Do they just constantly have it on their person? Or did their asses literally spend time making their paint before going to Bardo?

13) I fucking love Miller and Jackson. They’re freaking adorable. Murphy’s flat “I am glad you are safe” was so fucking funny. Also, saving Emori in one scene just to kill her in the next is bullshit. They should have just killed her the first time and done the same thing anyway. Murphy screaming at Jackson to do something and sobbing was heartbreaking. Fantastic acting on Richard Harmon’s part.

14)  Octavia putting on Lincoln’s same warpaint again was once again, so sad. I miss that man. He was too good for his own good. And while I do think that her and Levitt are very cute together, I’ll always prefer her with Lincoln. But I think that he would be really happy that she has found someone new to love.

15) Apparently whatever Echo “did” to Levitt was so forgettable that I don’t even know what she’s talking about. Bad writing. I shouldn’t forget that in just a few weeks, I should remember as soon as I see the two of them in the same room.

16) Lexa. Just all of it. There were some suspicions that she would show up for the last episode, but I didn’t really believe them because I didn’t understand how she would be integrated. I’m glad that they did bring her back, but I’m also not. It was amazing to see her back by Clarke in all of her armor and glory, but knowing it wasn’t actually Lexa was just a punch in the face. It wasn’t her mind, so it’s almost like they didn’t bring her back anyway. I honestly would have preferred if they used someone else for her Judge, because that just really didn’t do it for me. Their hug was sweet, but it didn’t even count as her returning. I personally think that her Judge should have been Bellamy or Madi instead, as they both certainly could fill the role of “the subject’s greatest teacher or the source of their greatest failure...it can be their greatest love.” This is just my preference. Believe me, I know how much Lexa meant to Clarke, but as a fan, bringing our favorite Heda back in that way wasn’t the best way to do it. As a writer, it makes sense, but it doesn’t as a fan. The writers can’t just think of what is the best storytelling, they have to think of what those watching will think.

17) I’m confused about the mindspace? Why did Clarke wake up in her solitary room with her memories painted all over the walls, but Emori woke up in the castle with a view of the desert? Why wouldn’t it have been her and Murphy’s cave? Is there a reason it was the bedroom and not the cave?

18) I know this isn’t canon in any sense, but could you imagine if Murphy and Emori fought over John’s body and she won, and then suddenly woke up with a penis? How fucking funny would that be? Just had to throw that out there.

19) Can I just again reiterate how fucking cute Miller and Jackson are?

20) I’m curious about the location of the test. Why did Cadogan’s take place on a pier, while Raven’s happened on the Ark? If it was their favorite place, wouldn’t Raven’s have been actually out in space? Like during a spacewalk? I’m confused about that.

21) I knew that Raven was somehow going to be involved in the test just because of the trailers we got for the final episode. My two guesses for who the judge would be were Finn and Abby. Though I am happy that we got to see Abby again, I would be curious to see if the scene would have played out any differently if it had been Finn.

22) Where was the full line that was given in the trailer? Because that was amazing. “We’re selfish, and we’re violent, and we have destroyed too much, but we survived.” I loved that line far more than what we got instead, which was simply, “Have we made mistakes? Yes. Clarke, me, all of us, but we were just trying to survive.” I definitely would have chosen the former over the latter. Poor choice on the editors’ parts.

23) How the fuck did Octavia and Echo go out to the field and get Levitt with Echo only being shot once? With all the bullets, the three of them should have been torn apart, I don’t care how much Indra could cover Octavia. Calling bullshit on that as well.

24) Bringing this up kind of late because I’m giving my reviews as I’m rewatching the episode, but what they had Eliza do was really fucked up. Her and Bob suffered a miscarriage during the filming of season seven, so the scene of her holding Madi and crying “my baby” is like 10 times more heartbreaking. If they made her film that after having a miscarriage mere days, weeks or few months before, that’s really, really messed up.

25) They really played-up Sheidheda’s bringing back of “jus drein jus daun” in the trailer. In reality, it was far less intense. I would have preferred what I had been expecting, which was him coming to help convince Wonkru that they would be able to win. However, I am super glad that he is dead and Indra finally got to kill him. I love how that bigass gun just turns people into mist lol.

26) The beginning of Octavia’s speech was literally like “what the FUCK guys” and it was hilarious. And I swear to god if I hear her say “we are Wonkru” or “you are Wonkru” another time, I’m gonna scream. I know it was legit the last episode but I’m sick of it by now lol. When Indra was like “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Octavia’s face was just like “omg me too” and it was really funny.

27) Bellamy. His situation was a whole problem itself. He deserved a hell of a lot better and wHY DID HE CUT HIS HAIR I LIKED IT THE LONG WAY. Anyway, you can bet your ass I’ll be writing a different ending where he didn’t die because FUCK THAT. When I do, I’ll be sure to share it.

28) I’m fucking confused about Murphy and Emori both transcending. Because, what the fuck. Emori died. The dead don’t transcend. Her mind wasn’t even in her body, it was in Murphy’s. So how the fuck did she end up alive and in her own body again. I’m glad she’s alive, but I just don’t understand. It would have made way more sense to have either not had her die in the first place, or to have Murphy, Miller, and Jackson keep pumping her heart so she technically “lived” anyway like Echo.

29) If Madi had decided not to transcend, would she still have been paralyzed? I mean, I would assume not because Levitt and Hope’s gunshots were healed, as was Emori, but I’m curious. Also, wouldn’t Raven’s leg have been fixed? Because if they only fix recent wounds and not old ones, that’s stupid.

30) On the point of Madi deciding not to transcend, why did she? Why didn’t so many other people choose not to? Like, not one Eligius prisoner or person from Sanctum chose to live? No one else from Wonkru? Why didn’t anyone else other than the main cast and guest stars not transcend? I totally understand the Disciples transcending, but seriously, nobody else wanted to live? That’s really weird. Madi and her friends really couldn’t have chosen to live on Earth with Clarke and the others? I just think it’s really unrealistic that not one single person outside of the group chose not to transcend.

31) I was really surprised that Murphy and Emori chose not to transcend, because as the Judge said, they would eventually die and not join them in the infinite. It shocked me due to their fear of dying and wanting to be immortal, but I’m really proud of them.

32) I’m disappointed that those who don’t transcend can’t have children. There were suspicions that Emori might have been pregnant (which were never confirmed), but the idea of her and Murphy having a kid together was adorable. They’d have their teeny tiny families with those two, Hope and Jordan, and Octavia and Levitt.

33) This isn’t as much me pointing out a problem as me wondering, what was Clarke going to say to the Judge when she turned around? What else did she have to say or ask? Was it about Madi? Or maybe Lexa? Or just transcending in general?

34) It’s pretty shitty that some of our questions went unanswered due to the fact that there will be a prequel. On the other hand, I live for lore, so I’m just glad that they eventually will be answered. But still, that doesn’t excuse shitty writing.

35) I want to see a stupid edit of Picasso taking the test where the Judge is Madi.

I think we all know that season seven was really not what we wanted it to be. We’ve been really disappointed by the writers and unfortunately, this is what we got out of it. I believe they really could have done a better job, but I am at least glad that everyone ended up together.

The writing was lacking. Too many questions were left unanswered, I don’t care if you’re making a sequel or not. Plot holes. It really could have been a good season if it was done better.

My ranking of the seasons is as follows: 3, 2, 4, 1, 6, 5, 7. Seasons 4 and 1 are kind of interchangeable for me in spots three and four, as are 6 and 5 in the two spots behind them, whatever the order may be.

But I still love the show. I love the characters, their development, and many things about it. It has been quite the journey and I am glad to have been a fan of the show.

May we meet again.

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 6.13 The Blood of Sanctum

Okay, so the primes are the worst evil on this show.

When the primes come up to the ship and Indra and Niylah are shocked to see Clarke and Abby there, but Indra knows they’ve been wiped already. Madi is still possessed by Sheidheda and Clarke tells Gaia to save Madi and she’ll take care of the rest. Oh hey, I’m going to keep my eyes open for any hints that Sheidheda hijacked Russell like we suspect in that BTS with Russell I and Sheidheda in the meeting place. And Gaia gives Raven Becca’s book I think. It took so long. Plus, Jackson is there. I hadn’t realized they’d kidnapped the doctor, too. Doctor, Pilot, Commander. 

Simone comes up with the plan to mindwipe the sleeping army in cryo and one of the others goes, ‘we won’t even have to know them,’ as if it did bother them that they were raising these people for sheep. And how happy they are to know they can kill them and keep them preserved waiting until they need another body.

When they came up with that concept you could see Clarke planning how she was going to kill them all, and then Russell asked for Josephine’s feedback and she turns it on like a switch, “sure yeah, a little genocide, a long nap, let’s be explorers.” omg

And then in Sanctum, Bellamy is planning to just knock everyone out and tie them up, but they get gassed to sleep. So much gas on this show. And wake up on their knees with the crazies. I mean devotee. They kill Xavier’s sister, and make Miller drink the potion...that must be terrible for him, he’s only just shaken his crazy cult leader and now he’s getting brainwashed for another? Then Murphy and Emori come in before they make O drink.

Bellamy is devastated that they have been mindwiped, and then Emori plays a little trick and tips his chin towards Murphy so Murphy can wink and grin at him. It was really cute. They got our people out of there but left Lee Madjoub (?) but he survives til next season doesn’t he? 

Clarke staring at the sleeping army was hard. Like she was remembering when they put them all to sleep. She was responsible for them. Then Russell realizing that Jo was dead and it was Clarke. Good, you psychopathic bastard. And your evil scientist bitch wife, too. And Simone faked being Abby, too. How dare. Watching Clarke push her out the hatch with a hand on her head? Harsh, but deserved. That wasn’t Abby.

BUT Raven with Sheidheda. He added a kill switch for the whole flame. How did he know how to add a kill switch in the AI?? Indra said she met him when she was just a girl and he came through trikru. So like 40-50 years ago? And he made all the villagers kneel or he’d kill them. And then Gaia told Raven to kill the son of a bitch. SO many  sons of bitches. 

IDK Russell’s taken Madi before the download worked, so that’s not done yet. I do wonder what that deleted scene was about. I hope we find out.

Sheidheda is a psycho. Russell is a sociopath. Quite the team to get revenge on Clarke and get a kingdom, right?

Jordan is creepy, deep in the adjustment protocol. Every scene with Murphy right now is delightful. He’s so morally gray, selfish but with a noble base that keeps making him do things he doesn’t want to do. Plus he and Emori look FABULOUS. He should wear eyeliner all the time. 

I also really enjoyed where Bellamy and Octavia come back together. Why? Because she needs to save “these people.” Not her people. But she understands them, even in their cult, because if they admit to being wrong about their gods then their lives mean nothing.

Cognitive Dissonance. yes. We know how that works. 

Ok. Clarke knelt infront of Sheidheda, not the first commander she’s knelt for. But this time, she’s learned, and she knows how defeat him and bring her commadner (madi) back. WHY? Because Sheidheda calls her weak, like Lxa, because love makes them weak, but she’s just been saved by love when Bellamy called her back from certain death, so she puts the gun to her head and tells Madi to fight because she lost her mother and she can’t lose her. And of course she wins because love is not a weakness, it’s a strength.

BUT they now have to get Sheidheda out of her head because he’s trying to kill madi in her head. Out he comes, and Jackson has to take out the dead flame because Clarke is too shaky. Madi is no longer the heda. Now Clarke jumps up and hugs Raven, thanking her, and Raven says she’s sorry about Abby. My princess mechanic heart lives. 

But sheidheda has escaped into the ship. dun dun dunnnnn. 

Down to sanctum, and it’s fightin’ time. Murphy gets a chance to kick some ass in the tavern, while Bellamy, Echo, and Octavia kick MAJOR ass outside. 3 against 30, their chances were good. 

Especially nice was Octavia using her body to stop the human torch lady, which is a nice bracket to how Octavia was the crazy torch lady last season burning the farm. 

She takes off her jacket to put out her fire and Gabriel sees her anomaly tattoos. I admit I can see a possible canon ship developing between them. I kinda liked Gabriel and Diyoza, but I can see Gabriel and Octavia working too.

Okay so dawn comes right away. The psychosis fades away and people are piling up bodies. B and E are walking with Gabriel about to go to the anomaly stone when Clarke et al come back. “Don’t let this delay you” he says, while everyone is reuniting. B puts a hand on E’s back and says “right behind you” while his eyes are on Jordan who doesn’t look good. He blames the mess on Bellamy. He says “the truth according to who?” as if Bellamy is making up that the primes are lying. And that adjuster is standing there watching him, sinister like.

Then we see reunions with everyone. First is Clarke and Echo, comrades. Then Jackson and Miller, married. Then Raven Emori and Murphy (my head canon is that they were a trio at least sometimes on the ark.) Then Raven and Echo. The Bellamy and Clarke running to each other and it is TRULY a touching reunion. She’s begging him to tell her she did the right thing and it was worth it. She needs him to help her believe. And this is the opposite of outside of Camp Jaha at MW. He begged her to believe him that she was forgiven, but even he didn’t believe it. He held the guilt too. But this time she believes him, and his hug does offer the comfort it couldn’t offer before.

VERY emotional.

The final scene with them at the anomaly stone. He presses the red signs. a map. The last symbol is an octonian. Heavy math. Above his and my head. BUT he says, “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you share a name.” then there was a cut of Bellamy, confused, since, of course, HE NAMED HER. ( i think this is an easter egg. and i think that somehow, our heroes have something to do with its placement thousands of years ago. i don’t know how, but something.)

Then the anomaly spreads and takes over Gabriel’s hut. And Octavia starts to remember or know things. She says “she’s here” and then someone comes in. She thinks it’s Diyoza first but then realizes it’s Hope and is very happy. Hope hugs her and stabs her, saying she had to he has her mother, and it’s like the time that Clarke stabbed Finn. Same move. Then Octavia falls, Echo takes Hope and Bellamy takes O and she disappears. 

The anomaly recedes and Bellamy is left outside calling for Octavia. In the silence, I’m pretty sure I heard a man’s voice saying “...portal..”

That episode was pretty good, but leaves some things unfinished and more questions than answers. Where did Octavia go? What’s up with Hope? What is the Anomaly stone? What is the anomaly? A portal. What happened to Sheidheda? (Now is sheidheda in Russell?) What about that creepy adjuster? What about Ash, which hasn’t been addressed at all? What about b/e? What about Bellarke? How will sanctum deal now that their primes are gone? What about wonkru without a heda or a blodreina? The prisoners are still sleeping. 

[kattaloop]

Lexa IS More Than A Symbol

I came to Tumblr for the Clexa GIFs and stayed for the very occasional long-form contribution. So I don’t know what’s being talked about and how, but a few friends asked me to comment on this. A week ago, @rivertalesien offered a lengthy reply to an anonymous question:

“Why is Lexa the one that people want to fight for but seems to be the only one kept dead? Not that ODAAT and WE had dead lesbians but they were cancelled and fan efforts brought them back like why is Lexa the only one who can't? She has to be more than a symbol though?“

I have my own thoughts on this issue, some of which I can’t publicly elaborate on. Let me just say that you’re right, Lexa absolutely is more than a symbol and should be treated as such. But what did River have to say about it all?

“First of all, the situations with ODAAT and WE are completely different: those involve complex negotiations with advertisers in order to cover the costs and where the show will be hosted. I know it’s fun to believe that fan campaigns had anything to do with it, but it is always, ultimately down to negotiations with advertisers and studios. It makes the producers and all look good to praise their audience for the “hard work” trying to save the series, but they all know better.“

It’s right to say that money is a driving force in any decisions the networks make. But you can’t isolate a show from the broader programing strategy, and, as far as I know, advertising deals are  bundled. As with any business, money isn’t the only deciding factor, either. Power and prestige have important roles in this game of film and television, and personal preference absolutely exists. As for fan campaigns, they add a voice, one that may have, and has, in the past, convinced executives to revisit the  issue in the first place. Would they have done the same thing without that little nudge from viewers? Maybe, but probably not.

“And Lexa is “kept dead” because, and this is only inference, but I think it’s a strong one: Jason Rothenberg lost a huge business/development deal as a result of the Lexa/Clexa fan drama.“

You did your research, I’ll give you that. But I’m unsure how well you understand the reality of this business. Considering that failed pilots are more common than green-lit ones. Considering that any pilot is a collaborative process with too many components in play than for an outsider to pinpoint exactly one reason as to why it failed. Considering that this industry, for all its rigid hierarchy and rules books, can also be one of the most unpredictable - one person leaves and the whole house of cards can crumble. Considering that you refuse to entertain the pros that would accompany Lexa’s return, pros that someone with Jason’s disposition might be equally interested in as in the more petty revenge fantasies.

“Jason Rothenberg spent the days, weeks and months after Lexa’s death cutting himself off from those fans who were hurt by his actions and no doubt working behind the scenes to make sure he didn’t lose his job over his unethical, unprofessional behavior. His supporters in the cast were openly derisive of Clexa fans who spoke out and a tone of trying to ignore or undermine the fan fallout was the given order. Showing real empathy and offering to work with the audience in order to heal the divide might have gone a long way for improving his image and the show’s. Rothenberg decided to hide instead.“

Yes to everything but the last sentence. You’re assuming - sorry, inferring. I happen to know that it was not his decision. Once again, isolating one aspect from its context and environment usually leads to wrong or, at least, incomplete conclusions.

“One very clear consequence of his queerbaiting is that Greg Berlanti, the very successful (and openly gay) producer of many DC shows including Supergirl, stepped out of a development deal for a new series tentatively titled The Searchers. The project was likely mostly Rothenberg’s, but without Berlanti’s backing, it was dropped. Story was that it was too “expensive” to produce, yet Berlanti went on to get a huge deal with the CW, producing Riverdale as well as the upcoming Batwoman. Would Berlanti want to be associated with Rothenberg after the Lexa debacle? Probably not and that’s probably closer to the real reason the deal went south.“

Except the queerbaiting isn’t even fully acknowledged, still. That’s a lot to base on “likely” and "probably.” Berlanti was already getting these deals. He also had his own issues to deal with. If the production was deemed too expensive, it doesn’t mean that there’s a conspiracy beyond the normal industry processes.

“Outside of The 100, he has no produced credits to his name and how he got the job of showrunner when he had no previous experience in any capacity in a writer’s room or on a production staff is certainly baffling. He very quickly proved he didn’t have the professionalism for the job and anyone else would have been dismissed.“

But he wasn’t dismissed, and that should tell you enough to not be baffled by the fact that they hired him, even without knowing the industry from within.

“The 100 went from 16 episodes to 13 because the order for renewal had already been given and the WB/CW put out feelers in the form of polls asking the audience directly: will Lexa’s death affect if you watch the show? Who does that unless they are seeking to reassure the advertisers that Lexa’s death wouldn’t be a big issue for long and spoil their investment?”

In conjunction with a noticeable drop in ratings and other measurable factors, this is probably a reasonable conclusion. They were hoping for a surge and were slammed, instead. There were a lot of whispers, but nothing I’d consider to be confirmed. What does this have to do with why they wouldn’t bring Lexa back? If anything, it suggests they know of her value.

“Fans are capable of all sorts of interpretations of a text (oh boy are we), but one thing that I think is generally considered across the board is that with season 4, the tone toward Lexa was more than a little OTT and a tad spiteful.”

I’m glad you acknowledge that much of this is based on interpretation. In summary, the praise Lexa received in S4 felt unauthentic, the Flame and Lexa were used as an emotional device, and Clarke’s actions were problematic. How’s that any different than post-307, when nobody seemed too bothered about losing their beloved Heda, when the Flame and Lexa were used as an emotional device, and when Clarke had sex as a coping mechanism and even questioned Lexa’s humanity? The latter were all written before the backlash. It mostly speaks to the show’s persistent issues with continuity, character development, and representation.

“This is just my interpretation, but with fans crying out for her return, pleading for a spin-off and so on, and generally being the most out-spoken fandom for LGBTQ rights and better representation in media (and a never-ending drag of Rothenberg’s name), is it likely that a production that never did anything to try and make amends ever going to give in to such pleas?”

As likely as any other production, to be honest. Allow me to go back to your earlier assessment. “They don’t care about fans’ pleas.” Would they bring Lexa back for the fans? Doubtful. “They care about their own benefit.” Would they bring Lexa back if it benefited them? Now we’re talking.

But they can’t just do it any odd way. As you also said previously, they know better. They may ignore us, but they watch us. They would’ve assessed the different scenarios. From a business point of view, they’d want to avoid another backlash. Then you have a diva showrunner to consider, and a guest star who is in work and, hopefully, wouldn’t return for a guest stint if it didn’t benefit her and Lexa. It’s a tricky balance, made even more difficult by a fandom that likes to tear itself apart over conflicting opinions every 3 months or so.

Considering all of those circumstances, I can’t think of a reasonable way to bring Lexa back other than at the very end. Which would benefit the production, but more importantly, a large number of fans, the tiny matter of representation, and ADC - if done right, which I give her enough credit to make sure before agreeing to anything. I’m not saying that it will happen or that it won’t happen. I’m saying that there’s a strong case for it happen, to balance out your rather one-dimensional approach.

“There is a cruelty to this because almost any other kind of story of this kind would involve a moment of catharsis, but that moment is constantly suspended, always dangled, but never in touch.”

Personally, I’d agree with that, but I can also think of writers who’d be into it. We’ve already established that Jason and his immediate team are lacking awareness and empathy. It makes little sense, therefore, to expect them to act differently, especially if they’re leading up to another shock twist. My guess is as good as yours on whether that’s something good or bad.

“They know what fans want and it’s arguable too that Rothenberg has twisted what the fans want for his own benefit: a spin-off of The 100, but one entirely about something decidedly unrelated to Lexa. Showing online fan interest might be one way of telling advertisers: see, there’s a demand for his work.”

No offense, but this makes no sense and it’s probably the most contradicting and subjective thing you’ve said thus far. If they know what fans want, then there’s nothing to twist. It’s actually part of the reason why the Lexa spinoff campaign started while the show’s still on air: to get the word out, to make sure they know exactly what and who we want, and what and who we don’t want. Jason started talking about a spinoff before 307, so there’s literally no ground for this argument, which also has no bearing on the question. So why bring it up?

“Unless advertisers demand it, is it likely that this unprofessional queerbaiting producer would do anything except the most spiteful of nods? That’s all he’s done at this point and the story this season looks more and more like they are going to finally close the book on any Lexa mentions ever again.”

Unless advertisers become involved in the creative process, this argument is also invalid. Thankfully, there are regulations in place to avoid that. And unless you know what motivates a person, you can’t speak to what they will or won’t do. Even if you did, you can’t be certain. Once again, this is a collaborative process even under the worst of circumstances. Things could go either way.

“Fight for Lexa, there is nothing wrong with her being a “symbol” of a fight for better representation.”

It feels wrong when you reduce her to a symbol, when you put her in the past, when you tell others to seek out other representation, when you dismiss her implied humanity. Our emotions in relation to Lexa are real, and that makes her real in all the ways that matter. What happened to “she’s more than just a character?” Well, she’s also more than a movement. Let’s not use their excuses when they kill of one LGBT character and put another on their place against ourselves.

“Keep using her light, but never forget where it really comes from, something Rothenberg will never understand: it comes from you.”

Now see, this is a great statement. I, too, believe that Lexa is a part of us. Her light guided me out of the complete darkness I had lost myself in, and it became part of my own light. I’ve never come across a character like that, or person, for that matter. A sentiment that still reverberates through the fandom and beyond. I believe that her light can help so many more people whom she wasn’t able to reach in the short time she was given. And so, part of my fight for better representation, better storytelling, will always be to let Lexa’s light shine again. She deserves to live. She deserves to have her story told!

[filmsnarktm]

I Spit On Your Grave 2

October 1st

I Spit on Your Grave 2 bares resemblance to the original in that a girl is raped and gets revenge on the rapist, but that’s about where the similarities end. Our protagonist Katie begins the film a struggling model in New York, freshly relocated from her small midwest town, in a shitty apartment without any friends. After a moment of desperation leads her to accept a photo shoot with some questionable characters, she ends up in far more trouble than she ever bargained for when she finds herself dragged into the brutal horrors of sex trafficking at the hands of unstable and merciless captors.

In the original I Spit on Your Grave, while we are invested in Jennifer out of a natural sympathy for what’s happened to her and a desire for justice upon those who have wronged her, we don’t get a chance to become thoroughly invested in her character as an individual. In this film, on the other hand, our protagonist Katie manages to express character and grit despite the tragedy and gruesome reality of her circumstance. While some have leveled criticism at her character for accepting the photoshoot despite questionable circumstance in the first place, she proves for the majority of the film to be clever and resourceful. I will admit I find this criticism particularly roll-my-eyes-into-the-back-of-my-head-stupid, as the same people don’t seem to raise an eye-brow at Jennifer “yes strange men at this gas station this is my address and I will be there completely alone and unarmed miles away from civilization where no one can hear me scream for months” Hills. She doesn’t take unnecessary risks, but at the same time she is proactive and doesn’t just wait for luck to find her. Katie’s character is a little naive at the beginning, but not to an extent that would make her stupid. The following descent into a hardened heart as events in the film escalate is slow and believable. When we see the person she’s become at the end of the film we feel like we really understand every step of how she got there.

It doesn’t hurt that the actress, Jemma Dallender, does a phenomenal job. While some have criticized her performance as over the top, we both found that she captured the desperation and the wild emotion of what a person would be feeling in this situation beautifully. I saw myself in her meltdowns in a way that brought me straight back to traumatizing events in my own life. I have screamed and sobbed and fought in exactly the way Katie did and yes it was ugly and loud but bad situations often are, and I thought she portrayed that perfectly.

Even the Bulgarian cast involved in the human trafficking did jobs ranging from above average to great. In particular Georgy, portrayed by Yavor Baharov, did a great job of adding depth to what could have easily been a one dimensional abuser. That is not to say he is a sympathetic character, the things he does are unforgivable, but he shows that even in the darkest of people moral grey areas can still exist.

Another high point of the film is it’s portrayl of human trafficking. There are so many smaller details tying the film into the real experiences of sex-trafficking victims in the world today. We loved he inclusion of Heda, a former sex-trafficking victim who now herself helps her former (and current) abusers draw in more victims, a practice unfortunately not difficult to find in many of these operations. We also appreciated the inclusion of disbelief on behalf of the police who all too often in real life scenarios are quick to pass off the stories of girls like these as drug induced or cover-ups for their illegal activities as sex workers.

And of course it would be impossible to properly review this movie without at least touching upon the gore. I have to be honest: this film is brutal. Gruesome, gritty, and absolutely horrifying. We were gasping and covering our mouths in shock nearly the whole way through. The rapes were violent and extended, leading up to the ever satisfying but gruesome revenge enacted by our protagonist at the conclusion. This is not a film for the faint of heart, but it only serves to make the film all the more poignant. There wasn’t a single scene I felt was gore or violent for violence sake, every bit of pain and suffering in this film served a purpose, and knowing everything Katie went through in the beginning only serves to make her vengence at the end all the more satisfying.

All in all I Spit On Your Grave 2 is a fantastic film which has been done a great injustice in being the sequel to a well-liked but overall only moderately above average film. Katie is a character who stands tall and maneuvers her way respectably through trials that seem to have no end in sight. It kept tensions running high for both myself and Chelsea the whole way through, which is a bit of a challenge for Cynical Dee and Snarkier Dumber. I recommend this film to anyone who has the stomach, and am glad that I gave it the chance it more than deserves.

Final Rating: 8/10

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 2x13 Resurrection

This is one of my favorite episodes of season 2. It feels like the second part of a two-parter, continuing right where Rubicon left, and dealing with the fallout, both in the physical and emotional sense. The episode is very focused, and features just two storylines in two locations: the aftermath of the bombing of Tondc, and inside Mount Weather itself, where the Delinquents and Bellamy are continuing to fight and even finding new allies. Both storylines build up tension towards the apparently inevitable final showdown between the Grounder/Arker army and the Mount Weather leadership. But the storyline about the Delinquents is in Mount Weather is simpler, more straightforwardly heroic (as is Bellamy’s role in most of season 2), while the storyline centered around Clarke and the bombing of Tondc feels very dark and morally ambiguous. Some of the crucial quotes relevant to the themes of season 2 and the show as a whole are from this episode.

Rating: 10/10

The aftermath of the bombing of Tondc and the devastation are strongly portrayed, especially in the opening scene: Clarke seesa horse on fire and a woman holding her own arm that was ripped out, before collapsing. Clarke spends most of the episode obviously feeling horrible about what happened and about herself and her decisions (not even remotely the last time she’ll feel that way!) and trying to find a way to deal with her feelings of guilt and shame.

One of her early reactions, the easiest one, is anger at the Mountain Men and desire for revenge.  “I want the Mountain Men dead. All of them.” I can see what you’re doing show: Bellamy and Monty have also said similar things in anger– Monty after seeing the Harvest chamber in 2x06 (Maya: “Look, without the treatments, we die. What were we supposed to do?” Monty: “Die”), Bellamy in the cage, after being tortured, in 2x11 (“I’m gonna kill everyone in this mountain”) –these things were said in anger and not literally meant which now feels like foreshadowing to what they will actually end up doing in the season finale, out of the lack of options, and which they will be very unhappy about, to put it mildly.

But after that, she becomes determined to find and kill the sniper, who is killing the survivors and making it impossible for anyone to engage in rescue missions. All she can do is try to something good to make up for what she failed to do. Lexa is meanwhile following her around, observing her with her apparently cool demeanor, and telling her that everything will be fine when they fight and beat the Mountain Men, and telling Clarke to focus on the future instead of dwelling on guilt about past actions, which seems to be Lexa’s MO in general. She says platitudes like “Victory stands on the back of sacrifice” and tries to give Clarke more of her leadership lessons, but Clarke is at this point pretty fed up with them (I can relate) and tells her to shut up.

Meanwhile, Abby and Nyko (working together), Octavia and Lincoln are all trying to save at least some of the wounded people, while Kane is trapped under the rubble - one of the several “Kane in danger” plotlines in the show. Abby tries to help him, but gets trapped herself as well, resulting on one of the longest and deepest Kabby conversations, and brings those two even closer together. Abby tells Kane the truth about Clarke, which she finds shocking. But Kane points out that they didn’t exactly give her great examples growing up on the Ark, with all the terrible things they did. He mentions the culling – which obviously still haunts him – and executions of people for “crimes” like stealing food or medicine, and Abby agrees with him and mentions herself betraying her husband. It’s the first time she describes it as “killing the man you love”. Back in season 1, when they still hated each other, Kane was saying he would do anything for the humanity to survive, and Abby insisted that she cared that they “deserved to survive”. Their current views are much more similar:

Kane: “We all have to answer for our sins.”

Abby: “After everything we’ve done, do we even deserve to survive?”

Lincoln decides to kill the sniper, but gets caught by him, and Clarke finally gets to save Lincoln and kill the sniper, Whitman, making it possible for the rescue mission to proceed. This is a really good scene – when Whitman uses Lincoln as a human shield, and Lincoln tells Clarke to kill him if necessary just to take out Whitman, so she could save her people, Clarke replies “You are my people”, making a point that what someone’s “people” are is not determined by origin or tribalism. This episode has several great lines.

But when Lexa asks her “Did that make you feel better”, Clarke replies “No”. Whatever good thing you go on to do, it doesn’t wash out the bad thing you did – it will always remain and you cannot undo it.

Indra gets a bit of character development throughout the episode and becomes less prejudiced: she was constantly shunning Lincoln and calling him a Reaper, and apparently that was the treatment he was getting from a lot of Grounders, but at the of the episode, she recognizes his help and heroism and hugs him.

On the less interesting (for me, at least) side, there’s also a mini-arc about Octavia, who’s now Indra’s chief second, managing to gain respect from the other seconds, who were all Grounders and were first not very happy to take orders from her. Which is not surprising – why would they, when she joined them a few days ago, and their mentor already gives her a higher position than them! That has to be annoying. But, as usual, because this is The 100, Grounder characters give stupid reasons instead of reasonable ones, and it’s usually something about like hating Sky people : one of the guys says they are “bringers of death”. Really? Because I was under the impression that the Grounders had been constantly at war and killing each other and that the Mountain Men have been killing them mercilessly.

Anyway, he probably changed his mind when a group of Sky people, including Sinclair and Jackson, arrived from Camp Jaha to the survivors, helping rescue Kane and Abby and others.

Clarke is very relieved to see Octavia alive, but their nice greeting is the last time they get along this season, because Octavia will figure out the truth and be very anti-Clarke in the next episode.

Lexa proves again that she has no problems using the deaths for propaganda, when her people start shouting “Heda” and she gives a rousing speech about getting revenge against Mount Weather for the dead. Clarke is standing silent and probably embarrassed, but Abby is so disgusted that she yells for everyone “That’s enough!” (I’ve never liked her more than in this moment), explaining that they have to focus on saving the other survivors.

While Lexa seems pumped up about winning the war (“With our two people together, we will win this war” – she’ll change that tune in 2x15), Clarke doesn’t seem happy at all. But her priority is the same – saving her friends from Mount Weather, which is why she refuses her mother’s suggestion to stay to help the wounded, and goes with the army to war with Mount Weather.. She’s realized that the treatment work, because the sniper wasn’t wearing a hazmat suit, and what this means “They are going to kill all of my friends”. While her relationship with Bellamy is in a *cough* special category, at t this point in season 2, if not before, I felt that Clarke’s feelings for the Delinquents were almost as if she was their mother figure, in spite of being about the same age. It’s that feeling of being responsible for protecting someone, which both she and Bellamy feel about the Delinquents.

Abby, concerned with Clarke’s apparent new acceptance of ‘ends justify the means’ methods, “Don’t forget we’re the good guys” – a line that will be referenced in the season finale.

I love the last scene of this episode – it has one of the best uses of a song on the show (“Couldn’t Stop Caring” by The Spiritual Machines), and it feels really epic, as we watch the army start its march towards Mount Weather – Lexa, Octavia, Indra etc. and with the close-up of Clarke, close-up of concerned Abby staying behind, and again Clarke’s solemn face, to the chorus of “It’s all for you/Take it to depths they never knew/I couldn’t stop, couldn’t stop caring” – which would be a fitting theme song for season 2.

……………

In Mount Weather, things start in a very dark way, as we see dead bodies of two drilled Delinquents that are still lying around. Since Monty is watching through the security camera, the Delinquents learn that the treatments are working, by seeing that some guards have no hazmat suits. The Delinquents have barricaded themselves in their form in Level 5, and are, for the time being, able to successfully defend themselves – which is made easier by the fact that the guards are not allowed to kill them – in order not to waste the bone marrow (as Tsing explained in one of the previous episodes, the window for bone extraction after death is quite short). However, the guards manage to take Fox, which devastates Jasper, because he promised her she would be fine (he is now playing the leader role that is usually reserved for Clarke and Bellamy), and reacts by killing a wounded guard – the second time in consecutive episodes that we see dark, vengeful, angry Jasper. The show had to put in danger one of the named Delinquents we kind of know, to try to raise the emotional stakes a little bit. Fox lives (for now – she still gets killed in the finale of season 2!), because Bellamy, still dressed as a guard, saves her. The reunions between the Delinquents and Bellamy are very sweet to see (before this, he only revealed himself to Jasper briefly to smuggle him the gun) – Fox recognizes him and happily hugs him.

Maya takes Fox to her father, Vincent, to hide her, and we find out that Maya’s mother refused treatments out of ethical reasons, and died as a result, when Maya was just 5. Her father shares the same beliefs, but, as he tells her, he needed to be alive so she would have at least one parent.

Cage finds a new bargaining chip – threatening Maya’s life to force Jasper and others to surrender (probably thinking all he needs is to make Jasper decide to do so), but instead Monty tries to find a way to save her. In the end, thanks to Bellamy, they manage to save her and all of them get away from the dorm through the trash chute, duping Cage and Emerson. The reunion between Bellamy and Jasper is marked by another hug, but also a rather awkward moment when Bellamy tells Jasper about Clarke coming with an army of Grounders, which leads to Jasper asking if Finn finally got his peace talks, with Bellamy replying “…Something like that”, as it’s obviously not the time to tell them that story.

Most importantly, Delinquents get help from other rebels, those of the Mount Weather residents who are secretly against Cage’s plan of killing them to get their bone marrow, and who are going to hide them at their homes. Bellamy tells them: “Stay alive and be ready to fight. War is coming.”

This all feels so hopeful and idealistic. This is a huge thing, the fact that, here in Mount Weather of all places, where we find the worst villains and the most evil society in the show, there are real rebels and revolutionaries ready to fight for what is right at the cost of their lives, rather than doing everything for their own survival, or caring only about their own “people”, even if their own are in the wrong and doing awful things to others. Maya tells Bellamy that she’s not a natural born revolutionaries as he calls her, she’s just trying to do the right thing, but this is what makes her one. She reminds me of Lincoln, who helped the Delinquents in season 1 so they wouldn’t be slaughtered by a Trikru army, explaining that he’s doing it because “what my people are doing to your people is wrong”.

But it’s all so sad to watch now, knowing how things will turn out, and that the cost of victory will be the deaths of Maya and all the other rebels who helped the Delinquents, which is one of the things that hurt the most, together with the deaths of children.

Timeline: This episode starts in Tondc pretty much immediately after 2x12, on the same night, right after the attack, and lasts about a day (since most of it takes place the day after, and the last scene is again at night).

Body count:

After the deaths of about 250 people (Grounders and Arkers) from the missile, a number of people are killed by Whitman by a sniper.

Whitman himself is eventually killed by Clarke

12 Mount Weather guards (10 killed by the Delinquents, 2 shot and killed by Bellamy while saving Fox). This means that 13 Mountain Men died in this episode, and 352 are still alive.

[brightlighttm]

FULL NAME: caroline elizabeth forbes ALIAS: care, blondie, prisoner 307, caroline kom skaikru, caroline kom spacekru AGE/D.O.B: 17 - 149; october 10th, 2131 PARENTS: elizabeth 'liz’ forbes (deceased) & william ‘bill’ forbes (deceased) CRIME: caught with painkillers during a room sweep SKILLS: distraction, guns, knives & bow and arrow  POSITIVE TRAITS: optimistic, hard-working & loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: neurotic, controlling & insecure

BACKGROUND INFO;;

liz was a guard and bill was a council member up until his drinking habits got out of hand and jaha forced him to step down. after this happened, liz took his spot and stayed there until the council ended.

growing up, caroline wasn’t around her parents a lot. both were extremely busy with their positions, but whenever she was lucky enough to be in the same room as her mom and dad, caroline would always be by her dad’s side. the two got along a lot better than she and liz did.

having a guard for her mother and a council member for a father, it was safe to say caroline grew up thinking she was better than most people her age and took pride in saying nothing bad would ever happen to her. however, it did.

at seventeen years old, during one of the many room sweeps, a guard found a bottle of painkillers hidden under caroline’s pillow. she denied stealing it and claimed that she’d never seen it before, but it didn’t matter. the guards took her away as she pleaded for her parents to help her. 

she was put in confinement and had no choice but to wait for six months to pass; when she’d turn eighteen and get floated for her crime. which she had not commited. little did caroline know that the pills were stolen by her father, who had started taking them after being kicked out of the council. he’d always gotten away with it, but on that particular day he wasn’t so lucky. so he had no choice but to hide his little orange plastic flask as quickly as possible. the hiding spot? under his daughter’s pillow. too afraid to say anything and get killed because of his crime, bill let the guards take caroline away, knowing she’d be safe for a few months while he’d try to change jaha’s mind.

he tried and tried, but instead of getting his daughter out of confinement, bill - not really knowing about any of it - managed to secure caroline’s spot as one of the hundred young prisoners who would be sent to the ground within a few days. 

SEASON ONE;;

she is shocked to find out about what happened to jasper and starts fearing the grounders and what they might do to her and everyone else if they attack their camp;

she only takes off her wristband when bellamy uses food as a way to get everyone to do as he says;

her dad sacrifices himself in the culling to guarantee liz’s and the other’s survival and make up for what he did to caroline;

caroline fights the grounders alongside the other delinquents and is inside the drop ship when the button that blasts the ship’s rockets is pushed and incinerates the grounders outside. which means she’s there when the mountain men throw gas grenades at their camp to make everyone - herself included - pass out.

SEASON TWO;;

she likes mount weather (mostly because her spoiled ass missed good food and a proper shower) but at the same time is extra suspcious of literally everything and everyone;

when she finds out clarke managed to escape, caroline feels a bit hurt but doesn’t really blame her for leaving everyone behind;

she decides to try and enjoy being in mount weather instead of overthinking everything 24/7, but then harper goes missing and she knows there’s something shady going on;

she doesn’t get drilled, but has to watch a lot of her friends being strapped down and having a thing thrusted into their backs. it’s not fun and it gives her nightmares for months; 

after everything is over and she - and everyone else - makes back to arkadia, caroline reunites with her mom. their happiness, however, doesn’t last long. liz tells her daughter that bill was the reason why she was put in confinement - and later got sent to the ground - and that he chose to sacrifice himself in the culling. caroline breaks down in tears while repeating, ‘i forgive you, daddy’.

SEASON THREE;;

caroline and liz work on improving their relationship. of course, they still butt heads every now and then, but that’s completely normal when you have caroline forbes for a daughter;

she doesn’t buy jaha’s city of light crap. at all. she thinks he ate one too many jobi nuts and is high as fuck;

but then other people start acting as weird as jaha - raven being one of them - and caroline knows, again, that there’s something shady going on;

in the end, caroline doesn’t take the chip, but liz does when jaha threatens her daughter. 

SEASON FOUR;;

‘radiation, seriously?!’ is the first thing that comes out of caroline’s mouth when she finds out about what a.l.i.e told clarke. but then again, should she even be surprised? ever since they came down, they barely had time to breathe before another bad thing happened;

when she hears through the grapevine that jaha might’ve found a bunker that will be able to save them all, she begs clarke to let her go with them. she mumbles something about ‘four people cover more ground then three’ until clarke gives up and lets her join;

her hopes are crushed when they make it into the bunker and find thousands of toasted skeletons, but, of course, she tries to hide it. puts on her best smile and goes back to the camp where she knows her friends and mom will be waiting;

when they finally find the right bunker, her hopes are renewed and she just knows they’ll make through yet another terrible thing tossed their way;

she asks - or rather, demands - clarke and bellamy to let her come with them to rescue raven. caroline had grown to love and admire the mechanic and there was no way she’d leave her behind. john and emori show up not long after and, together and with hazmat suits, the five of them leave to find their friend;

back in the bunker, much like david miller, liz writes caroline’s name in the lottery to make sure her daughter will have two chances of getting her name drawn. however, when unconscious arkadians start to be removed from the bunker by grounders and caroline still hasn’t returned, kane decides to give her spot to liz;

when clarke says they’re going back to the ark, caroline is shocked. she didn’t think she’d ever go back there, but if that was her only shot at surviving then so be it;

she says goodbye to her mom and tries to sound confident and happy even though she’s secretly afraid. she mumbles a heartfelt, ‘i love you, mom. may we meet again’ to liz before passing the radio to bellamy so he can say goodbye to octavia; 

caroline stays in becca’s lab to help raven, harper, emori and echo set everything up for their launch; 

she gets into the rocket with her heart racing and palms sweating. as the rocket launches, without clarke inside, caroline is in deep silence just like everyone else. expecting something bad to happen with the rocket or the death wave to get them. when nothing happens and they’re somewhat safe in space, tears start streaming down caroline’s face as it dawns on her: clarke is dead. 

SEASON FIVE;;

caroline spends 6 years in the ring with raven, bellamy, echo, emori, murphy, harper & monty. in the meantime, she grows closer to echo, who trains with her pretty much every day and teaches her how to use a bow and arrow - a really shitty one they put together with random scrapes they found laying around -;

when they finally manage to get down and reunite with the others, caroline get some devastating news: her mom has died. during the dark year, liz forbes refused to obey octavia and ended up with a bullet in her forehead. she blames octavia for her mom’s death and can’t stand being around her after she finds out;

at first, caroline finds the whole mom!clarke and madi thing really weird - not to mention clarke had been alive the whole time -, but comes around eventually. she gets a bit attached to madi, even if they don’t really spend that much time around each other; 

so when bellamy decides to put the flame on madi, caroline is extremely against it. no matter what the girl has witnessed or how strong she seems to be, she’s still just a child;

caroline marches with everyone else, not because she forgave the octavia but because she knows that’s her only shot at surviving and she wants to keep on living to make her mother proud;

when hell breaks loose at the valley, caroline manages to escape with some of the wonkru members and return to the dead zone. she tries helping niylah tend to the wounded, but she’s no doctor and fears that she might kill them faster than a gunshot. still, she keeps on trying because they’ve all come so far to die now; 

caroline almost doesn’t make it into the ship. she’s trying to support someone who’s injured pretty badly, which means running isn’t really happening for the two of them. however, when she sees everyone rushing inside the ginormous ship, hope blossoms within herself for the millionth time and that’s what fuels her to all but carry the woman she’s helping and lead both of them to safety;

she attends the meeting where they decide the fate of human race. like everyone else, caroline doesn’t like monty’s plan of using algae. she’s has enough of that thing to last a lifetime. so when raven and shaw suggest cryosleep, she’s quickly agrees. but, of course she knows that, ultimately, it’s up to madi. thankfully, the new heda also agrees and everyone starts getting ready to go to sleep;

before going into her chamber, caroline jokes with bellamy that, when she wakes up, she will be ‘the hottest 34-year-old in the ship’. she then proceeds to give him a quick hug before hopping on what’s going to be her bed for the next ten years. or so she thinks.

[clexalab]

I’m still not over Lexa and have been thinking about what a fantastic, complicated character she is. And this came out...

Clarke thinking about Lexa (ignoring any canon of course) and all the different sides of her, some which she can’t really reconcile.

Words: 755

Gif credit: Kaiparker

Lexa's gentleness doesn't shock Clarke. She has no issues reconciling how gently Lexa loves her and takes care of her, with how brutal, absolutely lethal she is. Clarke has witnessed her cut down 60 men, cut through them as if they're nothing, in her rage to protect what is hers, and she can easily understand that this Lexa- the one breathing fire, soaked in blood and someone else's flesh- is just another side to the quiet girl who touches her as if she is made of mist and will vanish if she pushes too hard.

It's not hard, because at the core of it, Lexa's existence and fate and whole being are a brutal tragedy, and her gentle, meticulous nature goes hand in hand with it. Yes, she loves Clarke gently, but that same love is also brutal and fatal, because Clarke knows, knows in every cell of her body that Lexa will ruin her. If she loses her, loses this, Clarke knows it will destroy her and that she will never be the same. And the meticulous way Lexa makes love to her, kissing and touching and inhaling every inch of her is not that different from her movements on the battle field, precise and sharp, each swing of her sword aimed perfectly, each step calculated and swift, so she covers as much ground as possible.

Lexa's passion and quiet intensity do not shock her and she expects them. But what Clarke has issues with it, and what she can't for the life of her reconcile with the idea of the larger than life Commander, ruler of all humanity, is the fact that Lexa can be... goofy. Silly. The first time it happened, Clarke stood there frozen, unable to process a Lexa that is making faces and sounds at a small child.

On a cloudy autumn day, while they were strolling down the main market, a boy not older than 4 ran up to her, old enough to learn that he should love his Heda, but small enough that he didn't have time to internalize the fear and god-like worship his parents felt. Ran up to her with his little arms extended, excitedly repeating ''Heda, Heda'', his innocent love evident with every clumsy step he took. In a beat, Lexa had him up in her arms, swinging him around, kissing his chubby cheeks, while his parents rushed from behind the stalls, afraid of inconveniencing the leader. The more Lexa bounced him, the louder he squealed in delight and the happier she wanted to make him. So she giggled with him, grinned, pretended to catch his fingers in her teeth and when she'd succeed, she'd puff out her cheeks, widen her eyes comically and then wait for him to pat her on the nose so she'd blow out all that air onto him and release his fingers. She let him pull on her braids and made funny faces, exaggerting how much it hurt when he pulled. And Clarke stood there, stunned, because Lexa looked young, looked her age- happy and innocent and comfortable in this world. She looked as if she never touched a weapon, as if she never took anyone's life and like the fate of their whole world wasn't on her shoulders. As if tragedy wasn't woven into her very core.

And every single time after that, when Lexa would playfully shimmy the towel she was using on her back and throw Clarke a seductive look over her shoulder; when she would burst into laughter and slap the table after hearing Clarke's story, completely ignoring the faux offended look Clarke was giving her; when she would poke Clarke's ribs and tease her about making loud sounds while sleeping (''I do not snore, Lexa.'' ''I do not know what that word means, Clarke, but your sounds remind me of a sleeping bear cub. They are not entirely unpleasant.''); when she would return from her meetings, warpaint on, and would rush to their room, trying to rub as much of the paint on a freshly clean Clarke as she could. Clarke would squeal and try to get out of her grasp, but not really, enjoying Lexa's strong arms around her and not minding the fact that she will have to go back into the bath with her.

It was this smiley, giggly, ridiculous Lexa who looked like a guilty puppy when Clarke would catch her mere seconds before she was going to start blowing raspberries into her stomach, that she couldn't reconcile with the Commander.

[standinshadowedsilence]

These Emotions in my Head, These Thoughts on my  Heart

Chapter 1: Impact [Read on AO3]

Soulbonds are anchored in the limbic cortex. Because of this only emotions make it across the bond. Sometimes there are exceptions. Sometimes there are bonds that defy expectations. Sometimes there are bonds strong enough to withstand anything the world tries to throw at it. --- Clarke knew she had two soulmates. Had because the day she found out for sure was the day one of them died. --- Lexa can't decide what to do now that her second soulmate decided to show up - three years after her other mate's death.

Terror laces through her, jerking Lexa awake in bed. Breathing rapidly, it takes much too long for Lexa to confirm that she is, in fact, safe in her room in Polis. Another wave of terror washes through her. Understanding comes immediately.

Her soulbond.

Concentrating on the connection for the first time in over a year Lexa breathes deeply before submersing herself in her soulmates emotions.

A second later another wave of terror nearly breaks her concentration. Gritting her teeth Lexa forces herself to look beyond the terror in an attempt at learning just what is happening to her soulmate. Slowly other emotions can be picked out from amongst the terror.

Desperation, disbelief, shock, and sorrow.

Clearly the isolation Lexa's soulmate had been in for the last year or so was ending in an unexpected manner. Still, this information was not as helpful as Lexa hoped. Pushing aside her own concern Lexa dove as deep into the connection as she could.

For a moment the inconceivable happened. Having never met her soulmate in person Lexa should only sense extremely intense emotions across the bond connecting them.

Yet as Lexa sat there on her bed with her entire focus on her soulbond she saw.

Words muffled as though shouted through a wall. Images coming in and out of focus as if a blow to the head had knocked her silly. A woman talking, flanked by others.

Love, hate, and despair filled Lexa's mate at the sight of the woman. The new rush of emotions jostled Lexa's focus. The last thing Lexa gathered before returning to her end of the bond was four words that shocked her to the core.

"-sending you to Earth."

Lexa is dressed and out the door in moments. Hollering orders for her generals to be fetched she rushes straight to the throne room. Her generals find her on the balcony. Their confusion palpable as they wait for her orders.

"Prep the scouts to depart at a moment’s notice. They are to depart as soon as we receive the sign."

"What sign Heda?"

"You'll know."

Lexa suppressed her humor at their increased confusion. Thankfully none pressed her for more answers. It was only due to her habit of reading books from the old world that she could guess how exactly her soulmate and those with her would be sent to Earth.

Earth.

The knowledge that this whole time her second mate had been in space sent a shiver down her spine. No wonder Costia had been unable to find any sign of their third before-.

Shaking her head Lexa forced herself to think of something else.

Her mate's people were strangers. They could not be from the Mountain due to being in space. But the words Lexa heard were in Gonasleng. Her people would not easily accept them just for speaking the Mountain's language, let alone whatever other grievances will come up.

Lexa should not so easily accept them either.

They may yet prove to be allies of the Mountain. Or to be a separate threat all together.

Lexa could not let the prospect of a mate blind her from her duties as Heda. She'd already lost one of her soulmates. If it was discovered by her enemies that her second mate was among these... Skaikru, there would be trouble.

If it was discovered she had a second mate to begin with there would be trouble.

A shout from below broke Lexa from her thoughts.

Focusing her attention outward the streak of light at the edge of the horizon was easy to spot. It was a small streak of light but from what Lexa read from the NASA, the size of the streak was not enough to determine the size of the ship sent. Or anything else about the ship and those on board.

A fresh wave of terror raced into Lexa from across the bond. Her soulmate had awoken, confirming their presence on the falling ship.

Shouts and exclamations reached her ears as the citizens of Polis noticed supposed falling star. Not once did Lexa look away from the sky. Only once the trail disappeared from her view did Lexa relax her posture.

A call of her title brought her attention back to the generals who had remained with her.

"Send the scouts towards the Trikru lands. Observation and perimeter only. No contact. I want to know everything there is to know before any contact is made. I shall be at Tondc."

For a beat no one moved; a snarl escaped Lexa's throat. Instantly the generals scrambled to obey. Stalking from the room Lexa ignored Titus's gaze. She didn't need to hear his advice to know what he would say.

To be Heda is to be alone.

Lexa had only been in Tondc for a few hours when the first reports arrived.

Humans, loud and unobservant. They appeared to all be young and unskilled. Even worse, the scouts witnessed what appeared to be a power struggle before a group of five left the main group.

The scouts were too far away to hear any words at the time, but the group was heading towards the Mountain.

Lexa fought back a growl.

No clear leader and they were splitting up. Towards the mountain. Making a split-second decision Lexa began barking orders.

"Follow any groups that separate but do not be seen. Get scouts close enough to learn more. I will pursue the initial group."

Beside her Anya and Gustus both tensed. A sharp glare caused Anya to nod before turning sharply on her heel and leaving to obey.

"Heda..."

"You may accompany Gostos, but I am going."

"Very well Heda."

Lexa kept her focus on him another moment, eyes squinted as she evaluated Gustus's sincerity. After a moment she sighed.

Other than invading - crashing - on Trikru land the new comers had done no wrong.

Unless speaking the Mountain’s language counted.

To many, it did.

When it was clear Lexa had no more to say in explanation Gustus sighed and turned to leave. He had reached the tent flap before a thought occurred to Lexa.

"Gostos." He paused. "Notify me immediately if anyone shows signs of reacting to a soulbond with Skaikru."

"Sha Heda."

By the time Lexa's small party met up with the original pair trailing the group of five Skaikru it was clear the newcomers knew nothing of stealth. Even stopping as far as they did to keep the horses out of hearing Lexa could faintly hear the groups conversation.

The muttered branwada from Gustus was not welcomed, although Lexa completely agreed when the skaiga jumped into the water.

Watching the other Skaikru Lexa filed away their interactions. How one male seemed to hover around the blond female while the other two males seemed to stick together.

A scream jarred the air around them.

Automatically Lexa was crouched with her hand on her sword as terror lanced down her soulbond.

Could it be?

Movement out of the corner of her eye revealed one of the scouts breaking rank to rush towards the now panicking Skaikru. Swiftly Lexa cut in front of him. For a second it looked as though he intended to brush past her before he controlled himself.

"Heda."

The warrior's face was pinched with lines of suppressed pain. His eyes pleaded with Lexa to let him pass.

Another scream behind them caused the warrior to flinch.

The corner of Lexa's lip turned up. Softly she issued her order, aware of Gustus and the other scouts not so subtly watching them.

"No contact is to be made. Not yet." Confusion slipped into his expression as his jaw clenched in frustration. Lexa growled. "Understood?"

"Sha, Heda."

Immediately Lexa spun on her heel and motioned for the group to move closer. By the time they had repositioned it was clear the conflict was over. Further up the short the three males gawked as the blond female finished treating the other females leg wound.

Interesting.

Taking a deep breath Lexa focused inward. Concentrating on her soulbond she sought the echoes of her mate’s emotions. Determination laced with panic reached her.

Opening her eyes, a faint smile flashed across Lexa's face as she watched the blond help the other stand.