#while showing hes not uncontrollable/frightening and is very protective of his friends as well as himself

[good-beanswrites]

Could I request "cooking is an art form" with mahiru and presumbly orekoto? I read your Night drabble of those 2 and now the idea of a potential friendship has been stuck in my mind for days, that was probably the sweetest interpretation of him I've seen! Mahiru can't cook in the current state she's in though so I guess orekoto could act as her hands...?

Ah thank you so much!! I was so worried about doing Orekoto justice, that's so exciting you enjoyed 😭 We still don't have a ton of characterization for him, so bear with me, but I absolutely loved writing this. Thank you so much for the request -- with food playing such an important role in Mahiru's story/symbolism, and the pair's unique relationship, this made me so crazy to think about !!!

The knife twirled through Mikoto’s hands. He brought it down with a grunt. Emotion pulsed through his veins. He went back for another swipe, much harder than necessary. He wiped spatter from his face.

“You’re making a mess.” Mahiru observed from behind. 

He glanced back to find her scowling at the tomato he was taking out his frustration on. “Who gives a shit? We’re not on cleanup duty.” 

He wasn’t supposed to be on cooking duty, either. It was Mahiru’s night according to their usual rotation, but she was in no shape to do any physical activity. Mikoto must have volunteered, and also gotten into some fight about it, because now there he stood: angry at an unknown source, full of adrenaline, and worst of all, in charge of tonight’s curry.

“I suppose…” Mahiru said. “I think that’s Muu tonight, I’ll apologize to her later.”

It was unsettling, how she remained positively cheery as she walked him through each step of the recipe, despite her current condition and his bad attitude. Not that he’d ever turn his anger on her. Mikoto approved of her, and that was enough for him. She’d been going through so much at the hands of their common enemy, he wouldn’t say a single thing against her. Even as she tested his temper with her cooking instructions.

“No, no!” With her good hand, she tugged on the side of his uniform. “You have to turn the carrot as you cut it. Like -- yes, like that!”

Mikoto rolled his eyes as he did what he was told. “It’s all going to get cooked together anyways, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is! You have to take your time with things like this.” She placed her hand over her heart. “It’s about the process, not just the final product. Cooking is an art form!”

“It’s about the final product to me. I’m fucking starving.” 

She was briefly distracted with the next set of instructions, telling him how to combine everything over how much heat. When she returned to the topic, her lighthearted voice was laced with a bit of desperation. “I mean it, there’s something magical about pouring your heart into something for someone else. Putting in your time. A little finesse here and there.”

“I know what it’s like to do something for someone else -- and there is absolutely no finesse involved. Or potatoes.” He gestured to the cut pieces before dumping everything into the pot over the stove.

“One of the most universal love languages is food, you know? People make meals and treats for their loved ones in every culture, in every time.” 

“They do a lot of other things, too.”

“You went to art school, you understand. This is an expression of yourself!”

“It’s a waste of time.”

“It’s the surest way to help someone!”

“That’s a load of bullshit.”

There was a pause. Then a nervous laugh. Then, “yeah.” As she dropped into more uncharacteristic silence, he stole a glance at her. 

Tears poured from her eyes. 

“Mahiru?” Fuck, he didn’t mean to make her cry.

“It is.” she hiccuped. “I thought… I thought it could save him. I made this big meal… I thought… But I was so stupid…”

She buried her face in her hands, offering weak apologies for the sudden outburst. He threw the lid over the pot before stepping back to her.

“Hey, hey. Come on. Don’t cry.” It was a command rather than a comfort. 

She didn’t listen. She just continued sobbing and blubbering on. “It was all stupid, worthless… I should have known…”

He crouched by the wheelchair. There didn’t even seem to be anything wrong, they’d just been talking about food. Why was she such a mess? He gave an impatient sigh. No reaction. What was Mikoto’s nickname for her again? “Listen, Mappi --”

She snapped her head up to look at him. 

Her teary eyes flicked all over his face, making him scowl. “What?”

“Oh.” Her shoulders relaxed, though her breath still hitched. “Sorry. You said… and well… I thought you’d gone away. I want you to stay.” She took his hand. “You.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Because you understand me.” 

He did not. Like, at all. But he kept his mouth shut.

Thankfully, she was too talkative not to explain herself. “You love someone very much. That love turned out to be dangerous -- deadly. And you weren’t forgiven for it.” She pressed her lips together, suppressing the wave of emotion that almost overcame her. “And now we’re both getting what we deserve for it.”

“Like hell we are.” He felt the spark of rage again. “Neither of us deserve any of this shit, okay?”

“But --”

“No.” He glared at her. That familiar fire rose up inside him. “I’m tired of all your speeches and optimistic crap. You’re always falling over yourself for others. You’re pathetic. This place is hell, so you need to get your shit together and act like it. You might be willing to forgive the others, you might be able to treat them with that stupid sweetness all the time, but no one’s going to do the same for you. Stop letting them fuck with you.”

She gaped at him. He realized he’d leaned in very close. He prepared himself for more tears, or maybe some cowering away from him. Good. Mikoto didn’t need people like her who would convince him this verdict was deserved. He didn’t need any of these people. It was fine to push them all away.

Mahiru surprised him by leaning over. Her head rested on his chest. “It’s hard. It’s so hard, Mikoto. But… I’ll try.”

His attention was quickly ripped away by a hissing behind him. He yanked himself away from her to run to the curry, which was bubbling and burning and spilling out of the pan all over the stovetop. 

With an outpouring of profanities and clattering of dishes, he cleaned the sad remains of dinner off the burner. When he looked back at Mahiru, she had dabbed at her eyes and composed herself slightly. 

“It’s okay,” she said, “I’ll pick something easier you can make instead.”

“Nah, I’ll make more curry. Tell me how much of everything again.” 

“A-alright.” 

His agitation slowly faded as she began her gentle instructions again. Though he had just tore her apart for it, he was grateful for her patience with everyone around her. He probably could have left, then, seeing how calm the kitchen became. But he wasn’t risking ruining the meal a second time with an unexpected switch. 

And maybe Mahiru’s words still played through his mind.

The food was back on the stove in no time. He stood diligently next to it. They’d lapsed into a content silence. He still didn’t know what had set her off earlier, but wasn’t about to ask questions.

Mahiru had regained her usual bright smile. “Hey, when I get better, I’ll cook something for you, okay? I think you don’t appreciate cooking because no one’s made something special for you before. I want to do that.”

He sneered. “Heh, sure. And I’ll let you in on my preferred art form.” His words were layered with sarcasm. By now, she could guess that included destroying things by putting all of one’s might behind a powerful swing. 

But she giggled, completely unfazed. “Well, friendship is about give and take, right? I’d love to try.”

[mxvladdy]

Unrepentant: Chapter One

Yoz! Finally, I sat down and edited this! (Yaay I'm slow as fuck)

I loved writing Diavolo's True Form piece (Located Here) so I wanted more and really to write this headcanon I've had since he was introduced! It is suggested to read his true form before this but you do you and live your best life.

Anyway idk how long this will be but all the true form stuff will be in this fanfiction :)

Hope ya like!

Word Count: 4k

Rating: General

The Devildom moons glint high above you outside your bedroom window. Their perpetual radiance casting dancing shadows across the walls. The solace of your empty room envelops you like a warm hug. It pulls the stress of the day away off your shoulders leaving you sleepy. Dropping your book-laden bag to the floor you flop face-first into the freshly washed sheets of your bed.

Exam season was rolling in fast and all of the academy was gearing up for the students' and teachers' inevitable breakdowns. From personal experience, you saw firsthand what happens when a demon gets stressed out. Even the lesser demons you know can cause some major damage when they reach their boiling point, though it pales in comparison to the havoc the big seven cause. Just yesterday Beel lost control in the middle of cram school after the teacher refused to let them out on time for dinner. Poor Lucifer was still scrambling to pay for the damages and trying to find a replacement in time for next week's lessons. Then, on the same day at the other end of the campus, Satan all but totaled a classroom in a fit of rage after another student dared to try and correct him. Bless the Old Gods themselves that at least Levi and Belphie were easy to deal with during these times. They were both book smart and beyond capable with their studies, they just lacked the wherewithal to put the effort in. Well, Belphie was more guilty than Levi when it came down to it. Most of the time Lucifer could be seen dragging Belphie to class by the ankle, face stormy with rage. It was humorous to watch-just from a distance.

As for you, you figure it was best to just be out of the direct line of fire. One too many brushes with death in the Devildom for your comfort. During this time of year, it became almost a sport. You got really good at dodging large pieces of furniture and spells during exam week when the brothers finally start coming to blows. Not that you fault them, they were just letting their aggression out as any good primordial being would. But, the lack of sleep and constant fear of annihilation by bookshelf is murder on your grades. After a few meetings with Lucifer and Diavolo, you all decide you should stay in the palace till after exams.

The palace.

You smile softly to yourself tracing a thumb over your clavicle. Your finger ghosts over the healing black marks running down your skin. It was rocky at first, rebuilding your relationship and trust, with Diavolo after your "run in". He acts like you were made of spun glass and eggshells, physically trying to keep as much distance between the two of you as possible. All the while you had to butt head with seven of the strongest and most bull-headed men you had ever met. Their protectiveness towards you tried your patience in ways you never expected. It took what you are pretty sure was your guardian angel to finally get the brothers to relent. With Simeon acting as your chaperone you start to live again. It was nice to finally feel comfortable around the demon again. Seeing him return to his normal candor and temperament again was a breath of fresh air. Thinking of him makes you flush, the cool air of your room burning your cheeks as you recall all the stolen evenings in his and Barbatos's company. All the hours spent laughing at their outlandish assumptions of modern human social norms while they tried to guess if they were correct or not, and then there were the nights where it was just you and the prince. He was nothing but cordial and proper, just conversations between two friends.

A nice glass of port and dinner...maybe an errant brush of fingers when there was no need to touch a time or two. Perhaps a gaze held too long to be considered appropriate.

You groan into your pillows, feeling your heart flutter. You couldn't deny he was fascinating, and yes, perhaps you were a little infatuated with him. Who wasn't? You say it on the daily how other demons fawn over him. He is one of the strongest of their kin after all. Power is a huge part of the Devildom hierarchy, and he exudes it in spades. To a demon, he is the peak of their ideal. Yet, to you, from a human perspective, you enjoyed his personality and jovial nature. It was a side very few got to see of him and you cherish each moment you got to enjoy in the privacy of his quarters.

Of course, watching him crush an unruly usurper without a second thought was kinda hot. Hmmm-

A sharp rap at your door startles you. Was it time already? "Door's open Simeon!" You yell over your shoulder grabbing your robe and go behind your room divider to undress.

"Good evening!" The angel chirps entering your darkroom. With a wave of his hand, he lights your fireplace. The bright flames dancing to life to chase away the cold of the perpetual night.

"Show off." You come back around your divider to face him. He shrugs with a bashful smile offering you the tray he brought with him. His lithe fingers grab the few bottles he needed, leaving the rest for you. You unscrew the lid on one of the jars of salves specially crafted for you. You inhale, humming in delight, and the fresh scent of honeydew and lavender wafting up at you. "This one is new!" You beam dipping a finger in your eye the soft green goop. It was warm to the touch and made your finger go numb.

Simeon nods, twirling his hand in the air to make you turn around. "You mentioned stiff joints last night so I made something to help." His hand strokes over your back while he mutters to himself. "This is healing up nicely, though the color is becoming more opaque." You nod in acceptance. The curse- taint- whatever it was when Diavolo injured you hadn't stopped at just mental damage when it struck you. It took root on your body, burying itself deep and spreading through you like an uncontrollable flame. It wraps and twists itself around your arms, shoulders, and sides joining and merging with itself to rest around the tender skin of your neck. You found it beautiful in its own right. Like those ornate chokers in Levi's animes or the ones Mammon wore in some of his high-end modeling shoots. Yours was just as gorgeous but very permanent.

"These are coming along nicely," Simeon remarks looking over your back. He rubs some of his sweet-smelling ointment into your sides. He traces over some of the more intricate lines, they radiate power heating his celestial skin in a way you could not sense. The marks pulse in warning, threatened by his celestial power. Simeon frowns, taking his hand away. "It looks like Lucifer marks have been consumed completely now too."

"Really?" You crane your neck trying to see Lucifer's mark at the base of your neck. It figures Lucifer's was the last to be consumed. Solomon had hypothesized that since he was the eldest and thus the strongest it would make sense that it would take longer for Diavolo's blight to consume it. So far he has been correct.

Over time you watch as all the brothers' marks were taken over. Their bright colors bleed out to be replaced with an iridescent black. It was a little unfortunate since you loved the colors of their marks, but there was nothing you could do about it.

Simeon hands you a jar over your shoulder while he inspects the growing marks on your back. "I increased the dosage in this, your arms were still itchy, correct?"

You nod, taking the jar. You grimace as your nails scratch the delicate glass. Your skin wasn't the only thing that physically changed after Diavolo's magic took root. Your nail plates gleam black now, no longer clear and flimsy like human nails normally are. They are sharp now with lethal tips. They could gouge stone like it was tissue paper and even pierce the hard shell of a demon's skin. Beel had been impressed by the nick you gave him during P.E. It healed quickly so no harm was done, but it frightened you still.

Tutting, you shoot your fingers a scathing glance. As a defense mechanism, this new addition was great, but daily life was a pain. Your hands tore through everything if you weren't careful. Delicate pillows and sheets were kept far away from you lest they turn into ribbons. It was beginning to look like the brothers had adopted an unruly cat let loose in the halls.

Asmo fussed over you for days trying to figure out the best way to care for them. He wasted some nice clippers on you until he landed on a heavy-duty nail file. Your manicure only lasts a few days at best, but it was better than turning your pillows into pin cushions. Aside from your skin and nails, you could see better in the perpetual night of the Devildom. The blue haze of the twin moons is cleaner now. Every surface their light lands on shines like a beacon illuminating farther than you could see before. Gave Mammon a good scare walking the halls in complete darkness, you didn’t need a light anymore just the moons.

It was utterly fascinating to you, and Solomon. The mage takes every opportunity he could to poke and prod at your changes and charts them down with feverish excitement. So far, much to his displeasure, you show no more magical prowess than when you first arrived in the Devildom but he was certain you should. For now, no one knew what to expect so you were to just monitor yourself and check-in with Solomon and Simeon daily till they deemed this settled.

"There," Simeon finishes examining your back and neck, making sure he covered the entirety of each mark. "Looks like everything is in order. I'll leave you to rest for the evening." He wipes his hands helping you back into your robe before tidying up the small mess he made.

"You sure?" You ask following him to the door. "I feel like we haven't hung out for ages! I could fetch us some tea." You smile up at his soft face. You miss just hanging out with him. As of late all he has been to you is an on-call nurse. It would be nice to talk with him and Luke about something other than you for an evening.

Simeon smiles but shakes his head. "Perhaps tomorrow, Madame Scream has a few new cakes out this month. Luke has been talking my ear off about them and I'm sure he would love your company too." He eyes the door knowingly. "But for now someone else wishes to steal you away." He bids you goodnight then, leaving you clasping the doorknob and looking about into the pitch-black hallway.

It's in the moment you lock your door and turn to crawl into bed that someone knocks on your door. Your heart leaps in with an indiscernible emotion before beating fast with excitement, your brain following along slowly after it. You couldn't stop the smile crossing your face as you made your way back to the door. Something deep within you knew who it was. "Dia!" You swing the heavy door open and hug him tight. The moment your body makes contact with him you feel amazing. The grind of the day is gone, chased away by his warm arms encircling you. "I thought you were busy all evening?"

He chuckles swaying from side to side. "I was! But, what kind of prince would I be if I didn't throw my weight around every so often?" He leans down and nuzzles his face in your crown. He smiles into your hair. You were smelling more and more like him each day, it was titillating.

Dia breathes deeply taking in your sweet clean scent and savoring how his smokey amber smell was mingling with it. It was faint now, perhaps only strong enough for him, Barbatos and Lucifer can discern. Soon though lesser daemons will take notice of his scent mingling with yours. He makes a quick note to tell Simeon to look into a stronger ointment, it will be needed soon. Diavolo pulls away, clicking his tongue. He glances down at where your nails punched through the thick fabric of his waistcoat to graze his skin. "Do you have time for a drink? Barbatos went topside today and purchased a bottle of whiskey barrel age wine. It smells simply divine ." His gold eyes glance up to the large grandfather clock in the corner of your room. It was far past polite visiting hours, but he couldn't give less of a damn, despite the warning of his closest circles.

The nobles were beginning to notice how much he favored you and thus the court was beginning to talk. They were beginning to question his loyalty to the goal of the program, his fascination with one mere human raised concerns throughout his family members. "Why are you spending so much more time with that one?" They ask claws and fangs clinging as they nash and hiss at him, so many of his bloodline still refuse to use glamour believing it was an insult to their heritage. "They are of no importance, playing favorites could lead to a disaster for your crown." He knows many of them would love that.

For him to lose his neck and the crown so the old ones could rule again was a dream for many of them. Diavolo grimaces inwardly, they weren't wrong either. He was infatuated with you. Even Lucifer was beginning to express concern. While having you and the program was raising his ratings and the morale of the general populace, those of royal blood were beginning to create factions again. So far many were loyal, but the ones starting to make waves were the oldest in the circle.

He had plans in place of course, pieces on the board ready to move at a moment's notice. It would be messy when it happens and with you still in his kingdom...such actions were best to be avoided. No, for now, the brothers were enough protection from potential defectors and nay-sayers. He will do as he pleases, especially when it revolves around you.

"That does sound good," You agree tapping your chin in thought. It's been ages since you last drank a human liquor. All Diavolo's ports and sherries, while delicious, did not affect you. You missed the warmth that settled in your stomach after a good drink. "A good drink could calm my nerves. Give me a minute to change?" You step back into your room to scurry back behind your room partition leaving the massive demon to stand at your doorway.

"Nerves? Do you need more time for your finals?" He lumbers in coming to stand by your bed. He licks his lips staring at your rumpled bedding. It was still warm from you sitting there with Simeon. Deep down in his stomachs turns detecting the cherry sweet scent of the angel covering your sheets. He wanted to rub his body on the bedding, erasing that weakling's scent from what was his- He pulls himself back forcing his fangs back down. He trusted Simeon, no one was better suited for healing demonic wounds than an angel.

The prince observes your shadow scurrying about behind the paper screen. "There!" You jump from behind the screen in an oversized shirt. The fabric drapes down to rest just past your knees, the sleeves long and folded several times. "Ready to go?" You come back to his side slipping on your slippers.

"But of course!" He offers you his arm. "Though I am perhaps a little overdressed for the occasion, no?" He ribs, teeth flashing in jest. You accept his arm squeezing it tight and look him over dramatically.

"Yes, very much so...What good is a nightcap if you are still dressed in your day clothes?" You tug at his pressed white tie. For the first time that day, Diavolo laughed freely.

The walk from your room to his was a long one but filled with idle safe conversation. You jump from talks of the upcoming garden parties to what this week's lunch menu will be. Neither of you was blind to the prying eyes and ears lurking in the shadows of the corridors. You were unfazed by them now after months of coming to visit Diavolo and Barbatos during the evening. You became accustomed to their judgmental gazes and gossip over time. You nod politely to one of the visiting earl's and his entourage. They pass, many eyes looking you over curiously. "Earl Jan and his entourage have taken a liking to you." Diavolo rumbles watching the demons wander off to one of his many smoking parlors. "He finds your many human idioms and stories refreshing."

"Really? I have classes with a few of them they-"

"Young Prince." Diavolo stiffens by your side lurching to a halt. His hackles rise.

"Pleasant evening Lady Marquess?" The prince calls out not bothering to even turn around to acknowledge the baroness. You turn though curious as to who drew such vitriol from the normally genial demon.

The baroness scuttles out from where she had been standing, the shadows around her falling off like an elegant cloak. Her pale mandibles click in distaste when your eyes meet hers. Her hundreds of spider-like eyes latching onto you unblinkingly before flicking to Diavolo's tense back. "You missed our meeting on the upcoming festivities. I have some more requests on the dress requirements for the ball." She pauses head listing down to look at you again. Even without lips, you could feel her scowl of disgust. "It would be good for your little pet. Their dress attire at the last one was... lackluster."

Bull. Asmo and Levi had designed your outfit for the last ball. It had been amazing, the crowds looking on with jealousy and lust as you clung to Dia's arm. You don't have to look at Diavolo to feel his displeasure. "Such asinine topics like that can wait till tomorrow." He sniffs pulling you closer. His free hand comes up to grasp your hand around his bicep. “Good night Madame.”

You keep your eyes forward letting Dia escort you. The Marquess hisses quietly under her breath, something dark and biting in their native tongue. Diavolo goes rigid in head-snapping about inhumanly fast. The temperature in the hallway drops.

"Dia." You call in warning, breath wafting up in great puffs from the chilled air. He ignores you, turning his full attention to the interloper. He replies in turn voice simmering with rage. She wilts, head tilting down into a mockery of the usually appropriate bow when speaking to him. Beneath the fringes of her bangs, you could see a smirk playing on her lips. She struck the exact nerve she was looking for. "Dia," You pull on him more adamantly. "Come please?" His shoulders loosen at your words. His gold eyes drifting down to look at you.

"We will speak of this later matrona." He leaves the matter at that leaving with you in haste. The rest of the walk is tense, his eyes now darting to each shadowy corner in case another guest jumps from them.

"I apologize for that." Diavolo sighs the moment the doors to his private quarters close. He loosens his tie and tosses it to his smoking chair by the fire. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be out in a moment." He smiles at you before disappearing into his bathroom.

You take a seat kicking off your slippers to dig your toes into the plush hide of some animal you didn't know the name of and pour out two drinks for you and Diavolo. Waiting for him to reappear you eye the treats laid out on the table next to you. They looked too good to ignore. Popping a few tarts into your mouth you groan at the sweet citrus and mint creme that coated your tongue. Your ears twitch at the creak of the bathroom door.

Burly arms drape over your shoulders as Diavolo bends to nuzzle your neck. "Too good to wait?" He chuckles. You flush hyper-aware of the sugar cookie crumbs on the corner of your mouth.

"You said help myself." You reply after swallowing.

The prince hums. "That I did." He raises a thick finger up to collect the crumbs around your lips. "Ah- Barb outdoes himself again." He licks his finger coming around to take the seat next to you. Diavolo busies himself for a moment propping his feet up on his footrest and taking the drink you prepared from the table along with a good handful of sweets. Despite his casual demeanor you still could feel his agitation thrumming through your markings.

"I'm sorry." You blurt out. He looks up at you with a frown. "That confrontation in the hall, what the Marquess said was about me wasn't it?" You didn't know what her heated words meant, but the context of the exchange was quite clear.

A glint of pain flashes through his golden gaze. Diavolo goes for his drink, downing half of it in one large gulp. "You have nothing to apologize for. " He licks his teeth deep in thought before dropping his head back with a grunt. "What are politics like in your realm? Are they all-" He waves his glass vaguely.

You sit for a moment thinking hard on what you remember of human politics. "Most countries are no longer run by royal families. Though they still have a lot of sway with laws and the like." You take a sip. "But, back when royal families were more prevalent I would say they were like this." You mimic his little hand wave with a little smile.

"Homicidal and power-hungry?"

"Quite so." You chuckle looking into the fire. "Perhaps I can take you on a mini trip to go visit some old palaces?" Diavolo perks up intrigued.

"Where do you have in mind?"

"Maybe Italy?"

His eyes grow dark. "And why there?" He bites out. You shrug feeling as though you just crossed an unspoken line.

"Just-well. Your name, at least in human culture, is Italian, and you slip into it so casually. I thought you would like it..."

"I am not looking for you to humor me." He cuts you off. His glass thunking heavily on his oak side table, amber liquid sloshing over the side. "I get enough of that from the court. I only wish to spend time with you." You acknowledge him with a faint nod curling into your seat. "Ah-no, no mi giglio." Diavolo reaches for you, scooping you up to sit in his lap. "Forgive my agitation. If it is somewhere you wish to go then I would be happy to take us... The south is beautiful this time of year I hear." A shuttered look crosses over his eyes before he blinks it away. "Shall I get started with preparations?"

He pulls you in closer, your heat seeping through the thin layers of clothes separating the two of you. He feels you melt into the soft planes of his body. His closeness soothing the itching of your bandaged and oiled skin. Dia falls silent listening to you nod off on his lap but does nothing to stop you. Closing his eyes he instead enjoys the feel of his pseudo mark upon your body vibrating in harmony with his magic. Stroking your neck and spine he is unable to control the flood of unwanted memories bubbling to the surface of his mind. As you sleep peacefully unaware of your wishes he spends the rest of the evening watching the flames die down, lost in a waking nightmare.

[egotheplanet]

Betrothed (Gladiator!Eren Jaeger x Princess!Reader)

{Part 1 of my Mystical Realm AU Masterlist}

Summary: Eren Jaeger is a gladiator with the stage name ‘Titan’ who wins your hand and defends your honor in a match against the rival kingdom of your land.

Word Count: 3k

TW: Blood, Violence, Arranged Marriage, Fainting, Creepy Step-Father, Lots of Commas

 The screams of the crowd are deafening as you approach the Royal-Access-Only entrance of the arena. Your step-father, ruler of the Kingdom of Chandovich, sent a request through his most trusted advisor. All he explained to Sir Rivaille, was to escort you to the match. No amount of questions you proposed to the knight would reveal any new information, since he only knew as much as you did.

 He’s never once done this before. The king and queen are both well aware how much you hate the brutality of it all. You squint at the bright light of the end of the hallway and you ponder why he wants you there now. The only thing you know for certain is that his favorite gladiator is fighting on the kingdoms behalf today.

 Eren Jaeger.

 An undefeated beast of a man going for his 60th consecutive win. The match today is against the rivaling kingdoms champion, the Beast as he is aptly called. Your father always places a delicious incentive for the winner and is known for keeping his word.

 Your mind swirls with wonder and your stomach sinks with anxiety while you think about what he promised today and what it has to do with you being there. As you enter the royal box seat, the view of adoring fans and your fathers back enters your view. The clanging of metal swords against shields assaults your ear drums. The seats are on the floor level and this close to the stage, you can see the sweat rolling off the fighters’ bodies.

 The Titan, Erens well earned stage name, beats his iron against the mans shield repeatedly without wavering. His opponent, who is many times his size, is kneeling and clearly struggling albeit refusing to give up. Your kings of opposing lands stand at the same time since the match is about to end. The already roaring crowd is lively, people in the stands holding signs and throwing food and flowers into the ring in support of their respective fighter. Children can be seen on their parents shoulders in efforts for better views.

 You finally walk to his side and the crowd goes wild at the sight of you. Your crown digs into your finely plaited hair, adding to your growing headache which spawned from the loud atmosphere, as you bow ever so slightly to show respect for the king. The Titan throws one final blow, slicing the challenger from his neck to his rib cage. Effectively chopping off his arm. The man falls to his knees before the rest of his body hits the ground; bleeding out though you refuse to look and see. The crowd goes berserk and Eren drops his blood soaked sword to the ground with a clatter. His chest heaves as he attempts to catch his breath. Sweat drips from his forehead down his neck and finally onto his chest. His hair, wildly unkempt and freely falling, sticks to his face. Blood covers most parts of his body.

 He takes no time reveling his victory before he kneels on one knee. His forearm rests atop of it, his long brown hair covering his face as he bows his head to your father as a sign of acknowledgment.

 Your father looks down at you proudly with an almost undetectable hint of an apologetic gaze. Your brow quirks in question and you part your lips to inquire as to why he looked this way, but his voice booms over the theater to make an announcement— cutting you off before you began.

 “Never in my years as King of Chandovich have I seen a greater gladiator in this theater. And never once have I seen such an important match end so quickly.” The crowd is dim to hear the speech and you can hear your heart hammer against your rib cage. “Our appropriately named Titan fought well against his opponent from Vestotua. Perhaps the promise of such a grand prize gave him more of a reason to win, hm?” The crowd cheers and you frown, perplexed as to why your father brought you out here to see the end of a match.

 And the allusion of your presence being such a prize.

 “Well I’m proud our homeland remains victorious in this prestigious arena. And beyond pleased to announce that Mr. Jaeger has not only won his freedom.. But a title! Congratulations, Titan, your fighting years are over and your years being a member of the royal court begin today!” He claps and nods down at the man.

 The onlookers cheer for the story of a commoner becoming something better. Stories of this caliber always benefit commoner-castle relations for years.

 Jaegers jaw visibly clenches in disdain and he stands, the crowd audibly hushes as he grabs his sword, pointing it toward the king. They erupt in gasps and some throw a few boo’s.

 Knights Rivaille and Kirschtein grip the hilts of their swords in preparation to defend the crown.

 “That’s not all I was promised. Make good on your word, King.” The Titans voice is venomous and your father smirks slightly at the audacity.

 “Dear boy, where do you think the title comes from? How low of me do you think that I would not keep my solemn word? The princess is all yours! Do forgive the lack of a bow atop your gift.” The crowd laughs loudly and the knights beside you tense with unease.

 Your jaw slacks and your chest heaves as you look at your father in shock. The jewels and fine fabrics covering you feel heavier than cement blocks.

 “What? I—“ Your voice is panicked and soft as disbelief coats your throat.

 He pats you on the back, pushing you forward to the edge of the viewing box. The fighter steps ahead and bends ever so slightly so he’s eye to eye with you.

 His chest continues to heave and his nostrils flare, sending hot air onto your face. He smells of blood, booze, sweat and of the barn animals he sleeps beside at night. Teal irises glare deeply into your e/c ones until you look away, too frightened to speak or move. His rough, blood covered hands reach over the edge to grasp yours.. tenderly? Hard calluses gently bore into the soft flesh of your freshly manicured hands. You wouldn’t expect such a light touch from such a brutish man with a reputation as his.

 “...Good. I’ll collect my things and be back for her later.” He breathes out, the hot air again hitting your cheek from the proximity. He turns and strides away, warm hands finally leaving yours. You find yourself growing instantly cold without him before you. You clasp your hands together in front of you to savor the warmth.

 The king chuckles deeply and slaps your backside hard causing you to flinch and whimper slightly. Just a small portion of the ‘affection’ your step-father gives you.

 “Your things? Not to worry, boy! We have plenty of hay and pigs at the castle.” At the word ‘pigs’, he snatches your arm and flails it in the air.

 The crowd roars in laughter and the gladiator halts his steps, visibly trembling in anger before continuing to walk to the fighters exit. He doesn’t look back or respond to the taunt.

 You frown deeply and tears burn the bottom of your eye-line. Your heart and stomach ache because you’re being given away to a monster. Because your father views you as nothing more than a cheap gift for heathens. Because the man you’re going to marry is a murderer.

 Because... he’s being as poorly treated by your king as you are. That thought sneaks it’s way in and you shake it away with a tremble.

 Because he is probably going to treat you worse than you could ever imagine.

 The scent of blood evaporating in the midday sun hits your nose harshly. Your head swirls and the sunlight dims impossibly dark. An unexpected eclipse? No..

 Your hands and feet grow freezing cold and the breath expels quickly from your chest in one large wheeze. In all but an instant, you feel yourself falling backwards uncontrollably. But that’s all you feel before you completely lose consciousness.

 The crowd gasps and the knight protecting your father leaps forward, catching you in his arms. Your only friend in the castle, Sir Kirschtein, furrows his brow in worry as he lifts you up bridal style. Preventing any serious injury to your body, he hugs you close to his armored chest.

 The king rolls his eyes and sighs, hands in the air while he shrugs before slapping them down at his sides.

 “Women are such frail creatures, aren’t they?” The crowd murmurs worriedly about their beloved princess. The kings eyes narrow as he yells; “I said, women are such frail creatures, aren’t they!!” the crowd pauses for a beat before erupting into forced laughter.

 Jean clenches his teeth and begins walking out, his grip on you tight and protective.

 The king taps his shoulder and he turns ever so slightly.

 “Majesty?” Jean looks down into his eyes, almost begging him to try something. The knight stands a good few inches taller than the monarch.

 “Ahem.. Yes, well. Take her to bed and ensure the handmaidens have gathered all her necessary things for her new home in the countryside. Ensure her meeting with the beast goes well or I’m sure I will get an earful from the lady Queen.” He rubs his temples in annoyance at the thought.

 The knight nods instead of speaking, worried his tongue will be shaper than he intends. As much as he wants to defend your sacred honor, his head is on the line and he cannot protect you from beyond the grave.

 When you awaken, you’re in your room. The sheer canopy of your bed filters the light from the windows smoothly. Your head rushes with blood and your eyes feel as if they could roll out of your skull. Jean is sitting in an elegant chair to your left, holding your hand very gently.

 “How are you feeling, highness?” His voice is very soft so as not to hurt your head further but the worry trickles through his words feverishly.

 Your face flushes in embarrassment as you attempt to sit up. You make it without too many problems, sitting back against the headboard and goose down pillows. Your hand rubs the back of your head where the source of the throbbing is coming from.

 “Out of it.. Please tell me I dreamt all of that or I may begin to weep.” Your voice softly trembles as you recall the earlier events.

 Jean looks sorrowful as he lowers his gaze.

 “I-I’m sorry, Y/N. There was nothing I could do.”

 You bite your lip, closing your eyes in defeat and nod once.

 You’ve been trained your entire life to become a good and fair maiden. Good enough to be handed off in some sort of deal later on in life as a shining and glorious gift. You’ve grown up knowing you’d become a political tool sooner or later.

 You’d just hoped it would’ve been later. Much, much later. To a prince or someone stately at least!

 “I never thought I’d be handed off to some.. some monster. I thought the least the king could offer me after a life of subjection was a choice in when I get offered up. But now I’m being forced into the life of a common street dog.” You put your face in your hands as the tears finally spill over.

 A deep voice calls to you from the shadowy end of your room.

 “So which is it, princess? Am I a monster or a street dog?” Eren leans against your dresser; his arms crossed against his chest, eyes glaring into your silhouette.

 You gasp and look up, seeing the outline of him grow larger and hearing his heavy footsteps as he walks to the end of your bed.

 Jean growls, clenching the hilt of the sword on his hip. “That’s close enough, Titan.”

 Eren stops immediately and sighs.

 “I’m sorry, princess.”

 Both you and the knight look at each other before resetting your eyes to the commonly unruly man.

 As the light encompasses him through your sheer curtains, you see he’s been cleaned and redressed. The deep chocolate colored hair is tied back with a small braid running into the messy bun. His shirt is a fluffy cuffed cotton with buttons trailing down the front. His pants are black, long and high waisted, accentuating his body’s firm frame. However, the teal eyes from arena remain the same.

 “What was that you said?” You whisper, not trusting your ears fully.

 “I’m sorry you’re being given away like this. Forced into a marriage with me, I mean. I honestly didn’t want to fight for you at all.” Jean scoffs at this.

 “Bastard.” He murmurs.

 “I only wanted freedom.”

 Your eyes widen as you recognize the feeling.

 You listen religiously as he begins to explain the predicament he was placed in.

 “The king promised me before the match that if I won against our rival land, I’d be free. He never mentioned anything about winning your hand. Until..” He trails off and looks to Jean.

 “Until the opposing King of Vestotua said that wasn’t a good enough prize for a fight of this magnitude...” The good knight finishes for him.

 You look beside you to your most trusted ally, hand gently gripping his forearm as it rests atop your red and gold stitched duvet.

 “King Gnowles said the only prize worthy enough would be your hand, princess.” He looks up apologetically. “If they won, you had to marry their fighter to prove how submissive our kingdom is when it comes to Vestotua making commands. But if we won, you belong to our gladiator to make things even.” Jean says through clenched teeth. His hand digs into your comforter in a death grip, probably envisioning the kings throat.

 Eren walks around your square shaped bed to sit beside you. Your body leans toward him as the bed dips in his favor. A hand reaches out slowly to take place on your shoulder but hesitates when you flinch away. He places the warm appendage on your shoulder after giving you a moment to prepare.

 “This isn’t what I wanted. I tried to opt out, please believe me. But the king said you’d automatically go to them if I forfeit. I definitely mulled over forfeiting anyway, but their challenger started..” he shakes his head and puts his lips together in disgust. “Saying things... What he would do to you once you were his. Once you ‘belonged to him’.” He quickly stands again and the contact is lost between you both.

 Your heart flips.

 Whether from his recount or the feeling of his hands on you, you’re unsure.

 He walks to your window which overlooks the seaside and slams his palms on the windowsill.

 He growls as he stares out at the free rolling waves.

 “I decided then that I would fight for you. We’re all born free. From the day we are born, we are free. It doesn’t matter how strong those who deny us that freedom are. A clerk, a knight, hell, even a king. A human being cannot belong to anyone! I’m willing to protect your freedom no matter what. You think I’d let some disgusting rat own and defile you? Not on your life!” He whips around to face you at the last line, his right hand clenched into a fist to prove his virtue. His voice is raised and posture straight as he proudly exclaims what he believes in.

 For some reason.. you feel... content.

 He genuinely wants you to be safe. And free. That’s more than ever could’ve be said about your step father. Even your own mother agreed to this, so you’re told. The only person in the entire castle who thinks of you as an autonomous-breathing person is Sir Kirschtein.

 Up until now that is.. the man you’re betrothed to is willing to offer you your independence with his life. Your heart flips again as his eyes lock with yours.

 “I-I...” you stutter and stare up at him in awe.

 He feels his cheeks flush when he notices the stars in your eyes. He averts his gaze, turning around in an attempt to remain valiant.

 “Look.. We do have to get married and you do have to come live with me in a house provided by the kingdom. It’s on private land over the hills. B-But that’s the only thing you have no choice in! I vow to never make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’ll take care of the land and the livestock so you can have your own life. I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible. I’ll build whatever you want and obtain whatever you like. Just..” he makes a noise sounding like a hesitant scratch in the back of his esophagus. “Just promise you won’t call me a monster or a street dog again.” He looks back up at you with pain in his eyes.

 You can tell from his previous speech about freedom that he’s had a rough life. After all he’s willing to do for you, after all he’s already done, the least you can do is honor this wish.

 “As you desire.” You speak softly and angelically as your body tries to stand.

 “H-Hey you should be resting!” Jean tries to grab you before you get up but you move too quickly.

 Your feet are wobbly, sure, but you confidently walk and stand in front of your future husband. You turn him around to face you by placing your hands on his shoulders. You smile warmly up at him.

 “We can make this work, Eren Jaeger. I truly believe we can.” You reach forward and grab his hands in the same gentle manner he did at the theater.

 This time it’s his turn to flush all shades of pink as he looks down into your eyes. “I’m going to do my best to make you as happy as you’re making me by freeing me from this castle.” You squeeze his hands comfortingly and your eyes begin to water from joy, the smile never faltering from your cheeks.

 Perhaps you’re better suited to a life on the seaside with The Titan than you are to a life as a confined princess.

 With a wedding planned for the morning, the two of you cannot wait to find out.

[cutelittlevamp]

Dream a little dream of me

Hey there^^

hope everyone is well :)

This is something I wrote a while ago and couldn't post. It's a (pretty long) oneshot about a yandere!sorcerer x reader where the sorcerer messes with his darlings dreams

Have a nice day and stay healthy^^

_____________________________________________________________

You had ignored them at first. Those strange dreams that came to you almost every night and that whispering voice talking to you in them.

Just stupid dreams, you had thought.

You had changed your mind after the voice started to tell you things. About you, your family and friends, even your boyfriend. Things you had never told anyone before and things you hadn't known before.

Like that your boyfriend had someone new.

You didn't believe it at first but then you overheard a very intimate conversation he had on the phone. A kind of conversation one wouldn't have with a friend.

Soon later you broke up and he moved out. The dreams came more frequently then. More intimate and definitely more frightening.

The voice seemed to creep closer to you with every dream and the scenery started to change from the image of your own home to a house you had never been to before. It seemed normal enough but something about it frightened you and not just the fact that the windows only showed a black void. You felt trapped in that place. Helpless.

You started to be scared of falling asleep. Not wanting to hear what the voice had to tell you, what it promised you. Not wanting to feel the ghostly touch of a hand on your body only to turn around and see no one was there.

So you did everything you could to stay awake or, at least, minimise your sleeping time.

After you came home from work today - very tired and coffee didn't seem to work anymore - you decided to go for a walk. Surely the frisk winter air would be able to keep you awake for a while longer.

It started snowing when you walked through the outskirts of town and you stopped in your tracks to gaze up at the sky for a moment, rubbing your hands together to warm them.

"It's pretty cold today, isn't it?" a voice called out from your left. You turned to see a man standing in front of a house, looking back at you with a smile on his face. "Yes, it is," you answered politely and wanted to continue your walk but before you could do so he already spoke again: "You look tired and like you're freezing. Why don't you come inside for a nice cup of tea?"

All the alarm bells in your head went off, telling you to run away but something stopped you. It was like you were frozen on the spot as if by magic. Also, there was something about him … something familiar. Just what was it? You couldn't place it.

He noticed your hesitation and smiled reassuringly at you, eyes glowing with a strange green hue. "I promise, I don't mean any harm." Your eyes widened as it dawned on you: it was his voice! The voice was so familiar to you!

Obviously he was quick to realise the change in your expression as he walked towards you, still with a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes anymore, putting his arm around your shoulder to guide you towards the house. You wanted to scream and shout, to run away or something alike, anything to get someone else to notice that there was something very wrong going on here, but you couldn't. All you did was silently walk beside him, only regaining control over your body after he had let go to close the door behind you.

Instantly you darted away from him, looking around yourself in a panic only to notice that this was definitely the house your dreams had taken place in and that only added to your horror.

"Who the hell are you? What is going on? What do you even want?" Close to tears you just blurted out all the questions that came to mind, but he just looked at you with his unsettling smile, seemingly quite content and completely calm.

"It already feels familiar, doesn't it?" Ignoring your questions he stepped towards you but you backed away. "Don't be like that after all I did for you. Didn't I tell you that your boyfriend was unfaithful? Or what those so-called friends of yours talked about you behind your back? I knew it would hurt you to know but you had to know. Somebody had to tell you before it was too late. They would have hurt you!"

"You haunted my dreams" you cried out, still walking backwards even though he had stopped approaching. "No, you got that all wrong." He actually looked hurt and you felt a lump form in your throat. How had he even done that? "I just visited you in your dreams. I had to make sure you were fine, protect you. Oh, and of course I wanted to make it easier for you to settle into your new home." "This isn't my home" you stated, voice shivering like the rest of your body. "I have a home already -"

"But you're unhappy there," he interrupted, inching closer but stopping again when he noticed you still backed away. "You'll see. Trust me, you'll be happy here with me. We'll be happy here. I bought this house for us. It's perfect, you'll see."

Slowly your mind started processing everything he had said so far and how he had said it. It was deeply unsettling and you felt your stomach turning.

"Us? There is no us. I don't even know you, why should I -" "No, that's not right." Dumbfounded you looked at him. He looked as if you had just slapped him, but you didn't understand why. "What do you mean?" Actually, you didn't want to know. You just wanted to leave this place and never turn back.

"We have met before. On a fair, five years ago. I'm sure you remember. Of course you do. You helped me with my books, we talked a little. You were so very charming." He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, smiling fondly. You couldn't remember that at all.

He clicked his tongue, obviously displeased at your lack of reaction. Slowly he started walking towards you once again and as you were standing in a corner of the room by now there weren't many ways left to get away from him.

"You surely remember it. It happened just a month before you broke your leg, shortly after that you had a huge argument with your best friend that was never really settled. The following year your parents got that adorable little puppy you still love so much. It's fully grown now, of course. Maybe someday we could get a dog, too?" Pressing your back against the wall you looked at him truly horrified. So you had been nice to him one time five years ago and now he stood before you - nothing but a stranger - and told you about things that had happened in your life after that one brief meeting?

"How do you even know all that?" Your voice was barely a whisper and you could feel the tears collecting in your eyes. "I had to make sure you were safe, of course! Somebody had to protect you! You are way too naive sometimes." His whole presence was suffocating you as he moved to stand before you, not coming too close just now. "Who could ever do that like I do? Your parents? Your pathetic ex? They don't care about you like I do! Need you like I need you!" Gaze softening he added a quiet: "Love you like I love you."

Shocked and scared you looked at him. He was mad, you thought. Completely insane. You looked from him to the door and back again but he was quick to catch you in his arms when you tried to make a run for it, holding your struggling form in a firm embrace.

"You don't understand it just now, but we belong together. We were destined to be together" he exclaimed, pulling you closer towards him and burrowing his face in the curve of your neck. "Let me go please," you sobbed. "I want to go home. Please." You continued begging, clinging to the distant hope that he'd comply and for a while he silently listened to your pleas while running his fingers through your hair.

"Oh, but you are home, sweetheart" he finally said after pulling away so he could look at you, but still holding on to your arms. "You haven't even seen the whole house yet." Smiling down at you like this was a completely normal situation and you weren't crying uncontrollably, he patted you head. "Let's see, where should we start? Maybe the bedroom first? Or would you prefer to start with the nursery?"

He pulled you after him, rambling on about the house and how happy you'll be now that you were here with him. You just continued to cry.

You'd prefer listening to his voice in your dreams than living with him in this nightmare.

[criminalmutantsins]

My Version of Morgana Mcawber in the DT '17 Universe

Full Name: Morgana Azazel Mcawber

Alias(es): Morg, Mcawber, Witch, Demon Spawn, Big Sis, and Gana

Birthday: October 31

Age: 27

Nationality: European

Species: Half-Duck/Demigorgonian

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Neutral(formerly), Good

Occupation: Hero, Mental Institution Patient(formerly), Enchantress-for-Hire

Affiliation(s): Justice Ducks, part-time S.H.U.S.H Agent

Relatives: Cephas Mcawber(brother), Hector Mcawber(uncle)

Voice Claim: Laura Bailey (Black Widow, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDDnQQt2Auk&t=110s)

Morgana’s Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Aq6bmQg7ccKLXM3Z5f4vf?si=njcKMXxpQBqH6rZ4gISUtg

.............................................................................................................................

Allies: Drake Mallard/Darkwing Duck, Launchpad McQuack, Gosalyn Waddlemeyer, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, Jim Starling/Negaduck(formerly), Lena Sabrewing, Neptunia, Stegmutt

Undecided: Hector Mcawber

Enemies: F.O.W.L, Helios Mental Asylum, Jim Starling/Negaduck, Fearsome Four

Appearance:

Morgana is a taller than average, black-haired duck. She wears a cherry red sleeveless jumpsuit under a blood red jacket pinned by a gold button. One jacket sleeve covers her right arm, wrapping around her middle finger, while the other sleeve is elbow length. Attached to her hips is a long dark red cape that drags on the floor. A tattered drape connects to her forefinger. To match her elegant heels, Morgana wears shiny, black lipstick. On the small of her back is the symbol of Demogorgana, her birthmark. The gray streaks in her hair are pinned back.

Personality:

Morgana is a quiet, solemn sorceress. Due to the constant bullying in her childhood, she has a pessimistic view in life and has trust issues. But, once you’ve gained it, she’ll be kinder and more open. Around strangers, she is quiet and willing to give them the cold shoulder. Lover of horror, Morgana enjoys scaring people-sneaky up on people was her favorite- and prefers to make a spooky entrance. She can be aggressive and will usually not hesitate to attack, especially if she is judged for her magic. Her anger can lead her to be vengeful; an example being her wish to hurt the bullies who hurt her brother.

Since joining the Justice Ducks and being somewhat part of the Mallard-Mcquack family, Morgana became more level-headed and playful. Smiles came easier and she finally felt loved. Although passive, she is not afraid to be sassy, though it’s more playful towards her friends. Patience is Morgana’s strong point; she was willing to build her magic prowess enough to escape from the asylum.

Biography:

Born from an affair with her mom and Demogorgon, Morgana is cursed with chaos magic and the Demogorgon symbol as a birthmark. She was bullied for her uncontrollable magic and weird hobbies for a child like her love for witchcraft and horror. The bullying got worse once she and her brother moved with her uncle to his heavily conservative county. It grew from verbal to physical abuse quickly. Her normal brother was bullied as well for being associated with her, something that hurts her more than being harassed herself. The abuse and her uncle’s unconcerned behavior convinced her to run away. But, before she could leave, a horrifying event occurred. This left Morgana to be sentenced to an asylum for the rest of her life.

Likes:

Horror movies

Gothic Culture

Drawing

Fall

Cooking

Castles

Reading fictional books

The color red

Helping others

Magic

Quiet nights

Dislikes:

Injustice

Closed-spaces

Bullies

Bright colors

Innocent people getting hurt

Coffee

Arrogant people

Human experimentation

Loud noises

Her impulsive anger

Skills & Abilities:

-Chaos Magic: This type of magic allows her to absorb the chaotic forces in the universe and warp reality. Morgana has enough power to destroy the cosmos, though the energy needed would leave her coma.

-Superhuman Strength: Being half-Demogorgon makes her more durable and stronger than a regular person.

-Psionics: this ability allows her to project her energy as attacks like energy blasts, create forcefields, and fly.

-Mental Manipulation: Morgana can manipulate her victim’s minds to see their worst fears, control their actions, and read minds.

-Spellcasting: she used to cast spells in her own magic language but grew out of the more she practiced. Now able to cast spells without help.

Family:

Cephas Mcawber:

Being her baby brother, Morgana is very protective of him. Her protectiveness grew once her bullies started terrorizing him as well. She was there to comfort him when their parents were killed and promised to be there for him.

Wanting to keep her promise, Morgana asked Cephas if he wanted to run away with her. Though he decided to stay.

Hector Mcawber:

Morgana and her uncle weren’t close. He seemed unconcerned about the bullying she endured. Hector openly favored Cephas since, unlike Morg, he was related by blood. Most of the time, Morgana was left to take care of herself. The treatment was similar to the kind she got from her stepfather.

Her neutrality towards her uncle soon turned to disdain when he left her in the asylum’s care.

Mr. Mcawber:

Her stepfather tried to love Morgana but could only see her as a reminder of his wife’s betrayal. He didn’t treat her badly nor show much love for her. He died alongside his wife in a car crash.

Mrs. Mcawber:

Although she loves her mom, Morgana is bitter towards her mom for getting into an affair with a Demogorgon. They didn’t have much of a relationship since her mom died when she was seven.

Friends:

Drake Mallard/Darkwing Duck:

Drake is Morgana’s good friend and teammate.

At first, due to a huge misunderstanding and DW’s ego blinding him, they viewed each other as enemies. Drake’s arrogance annoyed Morgana to no-end and would respond to him with sassy quips. His view of Morgana was of a criminal and danger to society because his first S.H.U.S.H was to recapture her for the asylum.

Once they got to know each other, Drake and Morgana grew to respect and sympathize one another for their strength and hard pasts. In the end, Drake let her go into hiding and advocated for her innocence.

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera/Gizmoduck:

Fenton and Morgana are friends and teammates.

Alongside Darkwing, Gizmoduck was assigned to recapture Morgana. He was more sympathetic towards her when noticing her unwillingness to fight. There were many times he suggested talking to Morgana. He also advocated for her innocence once learning the truth.

Morgana didn’t think much of Fenton in the beginning, though finding him quite cute. She was grateful towards him and DW for believing her and saw them as her first true friends.

Launchpad Mcquack:

Launchpad didn’t meet Morgana until after DW and Fenton’s mission. He liked her and found her magic fun to see.

Morgana found LP’s naivety and sweet nature comforting because of how much he reminded her of Cephas. Whenever visiting the Mallard-Mcquack household, Morgana would occasionally scare Launchpad-his easy to scare attitude was funny to her. Though she would always make up for it by offering her delicious brownies.

Gosalyn Waddlemeyer:

Like LP, Gos met Morgana later on. They clicked instantly due to their love of horror movies and Gos’ fascination with magic. It didn’t take much time for Morg to be appointed as Gosalyn’s babysitter. They would watch horror movies and plan scary pranks to frighten Drake and LP. The girls would also scheme ideas on how to get Gos’ fathers to confess their feelings. They usually pep talk Drake into confessing his feelings-with no avail. Their Drake’s wingwomen.

Lena Sabrewing/de Spell:

Wanting to train her magic, Lena asked Morgana to teach her.

They have a healthy teacher-student relationship with Morg helping to grow Lena’s power enough, so she didn’t have to cast some spells with incantations. There are times the girls use their magic to have fun and play pranks. Gos usually joins them, and is the mastermind of their schemes.

Morgana holds a lot of respect for Lena based on her strength to move on from the past. There are moments when she sees herself in Lena-something that comforts, yet scares her.

Trivia:

-She was inspired by Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff, Alphaba from Wicked, and Morticia Addams.

-Her VA, Laura Bailey, starred in a dark fantasy anime called Soul Eater.

-Unlike her previous incarnation, Morgana’s feet are shown.

-Her power is strong enough to rival Magica.

-She is one of the tallest characters in the ’17 universe.

[lesbianavatarverseimagines]

You Left Me - Part 1 of 2

Pre-Redeemed!Princess Azula x Reader

Anon Asked:

Could you do an AzulaxReader where the reader grew up with both of the royal children and always kept them in place, especially Azula, knowing that she had mommy issues? As they get older and grow closer, the reader is suddenly declared dead after her war ship is blown up before Azula is named Firelord, which is the last strike to Azula losing her mind during the final battle? Thanks AJ! 

The events will be stretched out so that I can make them older during the canon events!

(A/N: I’m kind of surprised by the requests I got overnight, but I love it! Thank you everyone! I love you guys! The next one will either by Mai, Kyoshi, or Rangi! If I’m up to the task, I may even do all three haha - AJ)

***

It all started with my parents selling baby me to Fire Lord Azulon. Apparently they needed money that bad and wanted me to have a 'better life' knowing damn well I would probably become a palace servant. However, the Fire Lord seemed to take pity on me after learning that I was a firebender at the young age of 2, when I started learning to cook. After I impressively firebreathed at my caretaker, who refused to give me a chili pepper, he immediately heard of the incident and placed me in the care of General Iroh, who was to train and teach me the arts of firebending.

At the impressive age of 5, I’d mastered fire using non-conventional forms. I studied waterbending and airbending forms and used those to make me more effective as a master of the arts. I also took great pride in Iroh’s teachings of the mind, body, and soul. It opened my eyes to the great things I could accomplish if I had the ambition. I was also introduced to Prince Zuko and Princess Azula, the royalty that I'd be personally guarding once my training was finished. They both latched onto to me very quickly, as I had that playful charm, but a powerful aura that made them feel safe. 

***

By the time I hit 8, I was made the personal guard of the prince and princess. 

“You are to guard them with your life and keep them in line, behaviorally and training-wise, Private L/n. They are to respect you as they would me. You know what to do if they do not.” Fire Lord Azulon had told me during my official inducting ceremony. I bowed, honored to have been given a position that thousands of so-called 'masters' fought so vehemently for.

As soon as I was dismissed, I ran to the courtyard where Azula and Ty Lee were doing somersaults. Mai was sitting against a tree fiddling with her fingers while Zuko walked with his mother, Ursa. As I walked over to the three girls to tell them the news, I watched Azula fail to stick her landing. As a result, she retaliated when Ty Lee landed perfectly by pushing her to the ground. I stopped walking once I reached them and gave Azula a stern look.

“Azula, you need to stop being mean to your friends. Just because you’re a princess doesn’t mean that your behavior is acceptable.” I grunted out. She stopped laughing after seeing that I was completely serious and helped Ty Lee from the ground, apologizing after. Azula then skipped over to me and gave me a hug before waving her friend over.

We huddled together for a second before she whispered, “Watch this.” She skipped over to Ursa and urged her to let Zuko play with us. Once he came over, Azula demonstrated the ‘game’ that we would be playing. “We have to try to knock the apple off the other person’s head, like this!”

She shot an orange flame at Mai’s head and caught the apple on fire, prompting Zuko to panic and save Mai from catching on fire. However, he ended up tackling her into a water fountain that was behind them. Azula, Ty Lee, and I laughed and started cooing them until they walked away in embarrassment.

***

At the age of 11, we all learned that General Iroh’s son had passed away during battle and that Iroh was coming home. It hit home for me, as Lu Ten acted as my older brother after I was taken in as Iroh’s pupil. Time seemed to pass by very fast until I was suddenly in the throne room of the palace with Prince Ozai, Prince Zuko, Princess Ursa, Princess Azula. Ozai had requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon to show the advancement of his children’s skills.

As usual, Azula excelled like a master in the making, but Zuko wasn’t at the same level yet. In the end of it, Azulon ordered me to escort the kids out of the room for a private discussion with Ozai.

While we walked out, Azula grabbed my hand and we all snuck back in to listen. I didn’t really pay attention to the heated conversation between father and son, as I was solely focused on the princess’ hand in mine. At some point, a frightened Zuko ran out, but Azula and I stayed until the discussion was over.

We ended up walking to my room, which was between theirs. After I closed the door, I sunk to the floor. I never got to express my grief about Lu Ten’s death because I was constantly expected to never show deep emotion. I forgot that Azula had come in with me, so she watched as I quietly broke down in sobs. It almost surprised me when she sat next to me and cradled my shoulders in comfort, knowing that I was going through a hard time. She didn’t say anything even after I was done and helped me out of my armor and into bed. 

“Get some sleep, Y/n. A lot of things are going to be happening tomorrow.” She said as she walked out and closed the door.

***

At the age of 13, Fire Lord Ozai challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai, making me jump up during the war council to object, as it was my sole duty to defend the prince, no matter who it was to. “No! As my duties pertain, I am the one who will participate in this Agni Kai! The prince shall not be harmed, my Lord!”

Fire Lord Ozai widened his eyes for a split second, surprised that one his most trusted and obedient guards was speaking out against him, during a war meeting nonetheless.

He fumed. “It may be your duty to protect Prince Zuko, but he needs to learn discipline! I will give you a day to train him before the challenge, but that is the only mercy I will give. Now, take him and get out of my sight, Private L/n!”

I grabbed Zuko by the upper arm and pulled him up. I then dragged him out of the throne room that had noticeably grown hotter in temperature.

Once we were far away enough, I led him to the training grounds and punched a purple fireball at him, catching him off-guard. He yelled and dropped flat on the ground, narrowly avoiding the flames. “What are you doing?!”

I angrily got into my stance. I bent my arm to where my right elbow was next to my ear with my fist parallel to the side of my face. My left arm stuck out like a punch, except my hand was opened rather than in a fist. It matched Zuko’s stance since he took inspiration from me and wanted us to have an identical fighting style.

“Fight me.” I growled angrily. “Iroh and I warned you not to speak up during the council, yet you did! Show me what you’ll do during the Agni Kai, Zuko!”

He shakily got up, realizing how angry he’d made me. He got into his stance and sent weak firelashes toward me, not putting enough momentum behind his strikes. I cut through the fire in a rage, not caring that it was burning my skin. How dare he be so weak when he had an Agni Kai tomorrow!

I firebreathed at him with what sounded close to a dragon roar. The flames spread everywhere as my anger only rose. “Y/N!” Solid arms wrapped around me, cooling me down a little bit. Azula yelled through the roaring, “Y/N, STOP! YOU’RE HANDS ARE BLEEDING!”

I listened to her on command and realized that I had obliterated most of the training equipment. Zuko was lying on the pavement again, cowering in fear while Azula held me in place. Wetness ran down my face uncontrollably. My brother would be no match for the general he was to face and I wouldn’t be able to protect him. Another person I care about would die tomorrow along with my honor.

How dare he?!

***

At the age of 16, I was promoted to captain and given my own ship to command. By this age, I'd begun to hate Fire Lord Ozai with a passion.

A while ago, during the Agni Kai, everyone was surprised when they found out that Zuko would be fighting his father rather than the general he spoke out against. When Zuko bowed and started begging for his life as Ozai approached him, I’d gotten up and almost ran on stage until the same solid pair of arms wrapped around me and held me in place again.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but he has to do this on his own.” Azula had said. As much as I’d grown to love her, I had to disagree. He couldn’t do this on his own. He was a child, as were we.

I flinched away from the memory, focusing on my current mission at hand. I was to find Zuko and bring him back to the capital, as he and Iroh were both apparently traitors. Honestly though, how surprising. You give him a huge scar and then banish him, expecting him to remain loyal to you?!

I scoffed in contempt. Once I completed that task, we were to find and retrieve the Avatar, dead or alive, which was something I was wholeheartedly against.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead as a familiar voice spoke out from behind me.

“Are you just going to sit in here and sulk all day, or are you going to train with me?” I heard Azula say from the doorway of my room. I chuckled and turned around to see her giving me that signature smirk.

Azula was to be the successor of Ozai instead of Zuko, as she was the promising prodigy. Ozai tried turning her into a monster, but I was the line that he couldn’t cross. Part of the reason why he promoted me was to get me away from her so that he could turn her, but she always found a way to be at my side and get my advice. I knew she was a ticking time bomb due to the level of her father's abuse, but I loved her too much to leave her on her own. I wouldn’t let her turn into her father so long as I was alive. And that was what I worried about these days.

I smiled and bowed, to which she snorted. “Of course, O’Princess Azula. We shall duel!”

She came over and kissed my cheek before grabbing my hand to lead me away from my thinking. “I am glad that you think of me so highly, Captain Y/n.”

***

After I’d turned 19, Sozin’s comet was nearly here. I was to participate in the raid on all of the nations and burn it all to the ground. I, of course, wasn't going to do that and had joined Team Avatar to stop Ozai. 

Azula didn’t know that I switched sides, as her father sent me away a couple months ago on a ‘scouting mission’ before declaring her Fire Lord and then declaring himself Phoenix King. I knew that she would be stressed under the weight of the title without me there, so I tried my damndest to go back to her and convince her to switch sides. However, fate decided differently. 

An explosion rocked my ship and soon sent me spiraling into blackness.

I’ll find my way back to you, Azula. Before it’s too late for you.

***

(3rd POV)

As soon as Azula learned of your death, she broke. Her mental state completely broke into pieces right before her.

She banished everyone from the palace and went into a frenzied state, seeing you and her mother everywhere she looked. She’d just got done cutting her hair when she looked in the mirror and saw you smiling. Illusion!You didn’t even have to say anything for her to start crying uncontrollably. Why did the fates have to be so cruel? You should be here ruling at her side!

When she blinked, it was her mother, Ursa, standing in your place, telling her that she was loved. A brush was thrown at the mirror and shattered the glass on impact.

After Azula got dressed and went outside for her coronation, the ceremony was stopped by her annoying brother, Zuko, and Katara, the Water Tribe peasant.

"You want to be Fire Lord? Fine, let's settle this. Just you and me, brother, the showdown that was always meant to be; Agni Kai!"

Zuko agrees to the challenge after seeing that something was off about her.

"I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother." Azula growls out.

"No you're not."

***

Once the battle was over and Azula was in chains, she started thrashing around while screaming and crying. "Y/N!" She sobs. "WHY?!"

Why did you have to leave me?

***

End of Part 1.

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! I actually cried a little bit with this one. Azula deserves a redemption, so I'm gonna give her one since they did her dirty in the comics ;). Azula is 18 at the end of this but will be 19 in the next part, while you'll be 20. Part 2 will most likely be uploaded later today 8/15/20!)

As always, REQUESTS ARE OPEN.

[staripheral]

❛ i’ll be lucky someday ❜

𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙟𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺’𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 : 𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙚

𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣 ‘𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙’

JOHNNY seated himself upon the pillowy snow after moving out of his wheelchair with unlikely ease.  His head tilted upwards to look up and out into the pitch black sky, lit with luminous stars.  It was almost too beautiful to be a witness to, he thought while continuing to gaze at the ethereal night.  His mind, other than being filled with the sight of twilight, was consumed by anything and everything surrounding the previous events in the midst of the Steel Ball Run.

Their placement at the 5th stage was anything short of spectacular or celebratory.  For just a moment, they thought they had risen to the occasion and swept the top three places for themselves.  Only, it wasn't meant to be.  They had ended up occupying slots four through six, while Sandman, Norisuke Higashikata, and the mysterious Hot Pants took the first three places for themselves.  He wasn't particularly bothered at the time, but he knew how much this meant to Gyro... and ⌜y/n⌟.  He couldn't have felt more devoid in that moment, knowing that if he had perhaps unlocked his stand's potential sooner or even have been able to use his stupid, crippled legs to come to his friends' aid.

There was always a constant—his constant—that relieved him and helped him feel grounded, and that was ⌜y/n⌟.  Johnny shivered, not from the cold, but the idea of ⌜y/n⌟'s warm, delicate hands grazing his unworthy skin. The snowflakes peppering down on his poor-excuses-of-legs did not bother him in the slightest.  Because he couldn't feel them.  He couldn't feel anything anymore.  Not without her at least.  Johnny was nothing without his... well, he wasn't quite sure of the status of their relationship, but he was aware of the fact of how important she was to him.  That he did, in fact, love her with all of his heart.

Johnny's vacant, blue irises moved their focus from the gleaming moon to his numb legs.  

'I wonder what she sees,'—he had pondered multiple times over this journey—'When she looks at my crippled form... Does she feel distaste for me?  Or perhaps pity?'

Lost in thought, his attention wasn't brought back until he heard her angelic voice.  He hadn't just imagined her soft touch like he thought he had as a familiar weight lay on his shoulder— it had been there for a while.  He did not have to flinch or yell; Johnny didn't have to look to know that it was her— the only person he had grown to care and adore for during his years of suffering.  He could practically hear ⌜y/n⌟'s pearly white smile as she laid out atop a thin blanket to protect her rear from the layer of snow covering the earth for as far as they could see.

"Gyro said he'll be back in a bit.  He's just gathering some extra firewood and, uh... how do you put it?  Taking a leak?" She laughed uneasily, yet it still brought a furious hammering to his frozen heart.  

"There's not much of a better way to put it, doll," Johnny chuckled, scooting himself onto the same blanket she was planted on.  He looked into her eyes and couldn't seem to counter the tender smile his lips quirked up into.

⌜y/n⌟ returned his look with surreal beauty—goodness, he couldn't get enough of the rosiness that her checks were painted with—and a smile that surpassed even the sun's heat, warming him to the core despite their wintery surroundings.  No lipstick to coat her plump lips, no eyeshadow to brighten her already dazzling ⌜e/c⌟ eyes— nothing besides her bare skin right before him.  And he felt anything but deserving at that moment to behold such a wondrous complexion as hers.

She placed her temple against his shoulder and slowly slithered her hands around to hug Johnny's arm gently.  The sudden explosion of heat in his cheeks sent him into a tizzy.  Johnny tilted his head to the right, poorly attempting to hide his rosy face.

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind.  It's just so darn cold here." ⌜y/n⌟ shivered in emphasis of the chill dancing through her veins.  All Johnny could do was utter an "S'okay" and bite his lip to refrain from squirming away from her touch.  He looked back and forth between her and his legs.  Those ugly limbs, compared to a beautiful being like her.  It was unfair; not to him, but to her.  How could he even bring himself to think about an impossible future with her at his side?  How could she cling to him for security when he can't even stand up to provide what she sought.  

The despairing comments filling his head took more of an outward toll on him than he had realized.  His teeth drew blood from his lips, his arm burned as it continued to be bound in ⌜y/n⌟'s arms, and his breathing grew heavier... heavier and heavier until ⌜y/n⌟ finally decided to ask what was wrong.

"What's wrong, Johnny?  Is it a Stand attack?  Oh, God- are you alright?" Her own breath grew ragged like his, worried about the possibility that another contestant was trying to get in their way once more.  She tried to remain calm and observe the scene, starting with Johnny.  That's when she realized it wasn't a Stand's doing at all.

His eyes looked lost as they remained on the endless amount of snow in the distance.  His shoulders began to tremble under the weight of his trouble; ⌜y/n⌟ had underestimated the amount of willpower that Johnny often facaded.  Underneath that was still a kind and strong young man, but those features were laced with memories of hurt and treachery.  His heart was wrought with the worst of experiences and it seemed to be catching all up to him now.

"Oh, Johnny..." She whimpered, his own pain resonating in her heart as well.  Sitting up on her knees and moving her arms to hug him fully around his side, she cooed words of comfort into his ear, briefly pressing a kiss to his jaw to try and relax him.  This only seemed to make him further distressed.  

"How can you do that?" He croaked out all a sudden, tears staining his pale, porcelain skin.  ⌜y/n⌟'s eyebrows knit together, creasing in what could only be described as confusion.  He continued, not being able to look her in the eye as he sobbed out his words.  "How can you even hold onto me, comfort me, and remain by my side?  How can you do that when I can't even stand or protect you properly; when I can't tell you how I feel because I would never want you to feel pressured to say something back to a poor soul with stupid- stupid! - legs!"  He had grabbed a fistful of snow in his bare hand, releasing his anger as he threw the snow at his pants.  He had broken free of her careful grasp in that time, unintentionally frightening her.  

A trembling hand rose to cover ⌜y/n⌟'s mouth.  Her prediction had been slightly off; Johnny hadn't been feeling so melancholy of his past, rather, he was ashamed of what his past had robbed him of.  He was insecure of his current state, of his inability to walk about freely like the people he watched everyday.  Her heart fell into her stomach and she applied further pressure to her mouth, as if trying to keep the nauseating feeling of helplessness down.  Her eyes fell on Johnny, his sobbing form hunched over and still breathing laboriously.  It broke ⌜y/n⌟ into pieces, but she wouldn't dare sit by idly and watch him wallow in his worst moment alone any longer than she already had.

⌜y/n⌟ approached him, boots crunching the snow beneath her light steps.  Johnny looked up, eyes red around the rim, his lips still bleeding, and face rosy from the frosty wind.  She sat herself in his lap comfortably and her lips formed such a soft hearted smile that his tear ducts filled with waterworks once more and he broke down at her unexpected actions.  It made him tremble visibly, and the snow began to fall down at substantial pace.  With another coo of worry, ⌜y/n⌟ took his face in her palms, holding it with extra care.  They stared at each other for eons and the pad of her thumb stroked his cheekbone back and forth.  But the feeling of her soft hands cradling his face was nothing compared to the soft, silky caress of her lips against his.

The extreme heat that transpired through his body was inexplicable.  A ravaging hunger consumed him, but he had to pull away for that very reason.  He could not damage her and her goodness because of his uncontrollable emotions.  

Their faces- both ruddy with the momentary passion that had been entrapped in their moment -could not turn anywhere else but in the direction of each other.  Johnny's fingers itched to desperately grip her and pull her back into him, to show her just how he felt, but he didn't.  He was frozen in place by her affection.  It seemed as if ⌜y/n⌟ were as well, until she moved her lips again, only this time to speak to him in a whispered tone.

"I love you." Her voice wavered ever so slightly just saying those three words; their weight had never been more significant before.  Yet she still undoubtedly believed it, and continued forward with the only things she could think to say.  "I love you- all of you.  You have trusted me, cared for me, protected me in the worst of our journey, starting in San Diego.  You have shown me what it means to be true to yourself, to be selfless, and to always pursue what is in your heart... You have done that.  You've protected me from our enemies, from my own stupid thoughts, and my dreams at night when I toss and turn.  Johnny... you have always protected me.  And I,"-she paused to lift his chin with a nimble finger of hers, wiping stray tears while she was at it -"don't think that your legs have ever prevented you from doing that.  You are not a poor soul... you offer me wealth in a way that no other person could.  Your legs are not stupid, because they make you, you.  Perhaps they can limit you in certain aspects, but tell me a time where you have failed to overcome an obstacle here because of them.  They have never.  And they will not, and have not, stopped me from loving you, Jonathan."

She didn't need to say another word.  Not after everything she had expressed- everything that she had laid bare before him.  Her words reached through to him so easily, it was almost frightening... almost.  Perhaps there were still doubts, but they were minor now, compared to the light in front of him.

He crushed her right to his chest and he fervently kissed her perfect lips over and over and over, committing practically every single patch of skin, every breath, and the very taste of her to his memory.  It just wasn't enough in his mind.  

In that moment, nothing else really mattered.  Nothing besides her lips, her body, her being mending his broken esteem- his once broken heart.  If Heaven didn't feel as warm and comforting as the two of them had in that moment... he wasn't entirely sure how "kind" he would be from that point forward in order to get there.  He was alive, heart throbbing through his chest unto hers.  She was alive, heart throbbing through her chest unto his.  They beat in unison, merging into one it seemed.

When ⌜y/n⌟ had begun to slow, he pulled away and placed a hand on the back of her head, threading his fingers through her velvety hair.  They were both out of breath, gasping for each other's air.  Their hair a mess and clothes slightly disheveled from their heated kisses.  Johnny smiled, feeling so airy in that particular moment and more love than he had ever been given in his life.  He dipped his head down slightly just so his lips grazed her ear.

"You're too much sometimes, I swear..." He felt bashful confessing in such a manner, his entire face turning red from embarrassment now.  "Will you- Will you stay by my side, ⌜y/n⌟?  I know it's so selfish of me to ask out of all things, but... if you don't say 'no' now, I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go."  He held in his breath, tightening his grip on the figure enveloped within his arms.  He was scared to let go, to see if this had all been a dream or not.

Her quiet laughter was his saving grace.  "After I poured my heart out to you, you still believe that I would leave you?  Even if I had even thought of trying, you still follow me everywhere I go- not that I'm complaining!" She quickly added, realizing how off-putting her previous statement could have come off.  ⌜y/n⌟'s digits moved along the nape of his neck, playing with his long, cascading hair.  It was oddly comforting to the both of them.

Her voice grew quieter as she continued.  "You're the only thing I can think of day in and out, Johnny.  You ride beside me no matter what trail we're on, you sit next to me when we take our short breaks... you're even in my dreams for goodness' sake!  And... well, when I dream of you, all that I can think of is my longing to be by your side."

Soon, the shades of both the rider's faces brightened to the color of ripe tomatoes.  They looked at each other, taking in the similar signs of embarrassment they were expressing, until ⌜y/n⌟ broke out into a fit of giggles.  She squirmed in Johnny's lap, trying to ward off whatever stupid thing was making her burst in hiccups of happiness.  Johnny's grin grew sly, letting out a small chuckle of his own as he watched his beautiful darling radiate cheerfulness.  His eyes lit like a flame, dancing in excitement of this new step in his life.

Tears forgotten.  Despair repaired.  Loneliness departed his heart.  Only joy in the wake of their newly bounded beings.  He found that this had been the most wonderful thing to have happened to him.  To have met this ravishing rider, fallen in love, and being able to hold her in his arms with no worry.  

He found that, there was no greater feeling in the world, being by her side.

FIN.

[supermiraculousladybug]

The Disturbing Dark Truth about Cat Noir (Theory).

Hello my name is well it doesn't matter what my name is but what matters is this dark disturbing truth behind our favorite kitten, Cat Noir and what is he really behind all the jokes/puns/flirt but mostly what person inspired Thomas Astruc to create Cat Noir.

Cat Noir is actually inspired by a little boy Thomas Astruc knew since childhood. His name is Anthony Cheung-Fernández, son of Wang Lei-Zhang Wei Huáng-Cheung, a Chinese American biker gang member and Catalina-Juana "CJ" Luciana Fernández-Hernández, an underage Mexican-Latina prostitute/stripper but i'm not gonna get into his childhood even despite he's an inspiration for Cat Noir. Behind his jokes , puns and flirtatious motivations, I think it's possible Cat Noir is an abused mentally unstable boy with special needs and so we only see the imagined world and events through his eyes because he's coping with the harsh and cruel reality of the world he's born into.

Cat Noir is a crack baby because his mom smoked all lot of crack cocaine while she was carrying him in her womb and it causes Cat Noir mental and psychological damage for life but he even has tremors from arms and legs to whole body because he's so severely damaged by crack cocaine and since he's severely uncontrolled shaky, you might mistaken Cat Noir's uncontrollable tremors for being cold and having seizures but often he has high-pitched screaming and high-pitched crying which he's often mistakenly thought to be a girl by others and his instabilities are also the results of being a crack baby.

What Cat Noir's classmates didn't know, is the frequent abuse and neglect Cat Noir has endured and suffered at home. Cat Noir is a special needs child who suffer from abuse , neglect and bullying but this traumatic experiences has left poor Cat Noir traumatized , easily scared , shy , nervous , easily startled , shaking-in-fear and easily fearful or easily frightened of others. A bunch of mean kids and bullies would called Cat Noir "stupid" , "dummy" , "idiot" , "retard" , "dumbass" and "dimwitted" since they knew Cat Noir has Autism , Down Syndrome , Mental Retardation and Hydrocephalus, they believe he's too stupid to be in school and having low-intelligence means he can't learn.

Due to Cat Noir having Autism and Down Syndrome it can be hard for him to keep up with other kids because he learns things slowly than others and it's no wonder he's put into a Special Education classes. Cat Noir was born with Down Syndrome due to his younger mother's age and older father's age but some children with Down syndrome (like Cat Noir) are born to women under age 35 because younger women have far more babies.

But if we only see the imagined world and events through his eyes wouldn't that means it's nothing but Cat Noir's imaginations we only saw on the show but if that's the case then how come we don't see the reality outside of his eyes, could it be that outside of his eyes, it's full of neglect , abuse , torture , lies , bullying and harassment that he turned to his imaginations , puns and jokes as a coping mechanism to escape from it. So we're gonna analyzed his relationship with other people and compared to the canon relationship he supposedly has.

Ladybug.

She is a friend of Cat Noir but also the closes he has but is she really a good friend to Cat Noir? In the show, Ladybug is shown to be verbally abusive and physically abusive towards Cat Noir in almost various episodes from Bubbler , Origins Part 1 , Stormy Weather and Sliencer, she uses her yoyo to hit Cat Noir with but surprisingly she never regretted but kept on doing it. Ladybug knew about Cat Noir's condition but instead of sympathizing with him and supporting/getting him help, she chose to convinced him his imaginations is real and everything he believes is reality but that's reason why Cat Noir depicted Ladybug as a stubborn , easily annoyed and bad-tempered person who's so quickly to get angry but this is the tip of the iceberg because Ladybug is not just verbally abusive and physically abusive, she's also sexually abusive towards Cat Noir. Ladybug would take advantage of Cat Noir by raping him but she usually would forced herself on Cat Noir and grabbed his penis and put it into her vagina even though despite Cat Noir not being ready for a proportional relationship, she's willing to do whatever she wants with him even if it means it the cost of their friendship, it also explains why Ladybug flirts with Cat Noir because Cat Noir knew about Ladybug being sexually abusive and sexually active. Ladybug has been doing this since the age of 12 while Cat Noir was 11 but ever since then she's been doing sexual activities with Cat Noir due to her seeing Cat Noir as a sex toy to play and have "fun" with, due it's no wonder throughout the series Cat Noir is never started dating because of the history of being sexually abused. Ladybug has Black hair with Blue reflections and Baby blue eyes but has a slim body, her middle name is Marietta although is a similar name to Cat Noir's elder half sister, Marietta "Marie" Kyle.

Marinette.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a teenage Eurasian girl who is close friends with Cat Noir, she's 2 months older than Cat Noir (Marinette was born on July 22, 2001 and Cat Noir was born on September 25, 2001) and she's been mistaken for Ladybug and Marietta by Cat Noir because she looks like them.

Marinette has 2 older half sisters, Bridgette Cheng and Charlotte Dupain, who were born from their parents 1st marriage which it makes Marinette born from 2nd marriage. Her parents are Tom Dupain, an Italian-French baker who love his Bakery and his daughters including his stepdaughter and Sabine Cheng, a Chinese immigrant who moved from China to Paris with her daughter to give her a better life and loves her daughters including her stepdaughter.

Marinette has a mixture of Black and Blue hair with Bluebell eyes but she's always mistaken to be Ladybug or Marietta by Cat Noir very often because to Cat Noir, Ladybug and Marinette looked the same but also it's due to how Marinette and Marietta look very similar because of their names and hair colors.

Much like Cat Noir, Marinette has been bullied by Chloé Bourgeois, one of the most popular girls in Françoise Dupont High School but unlike Cat Noir, Marinette had been bullied by Chloé since Kindergarten. Although due to being bullied at school, Marinette became insecure about herself and is scared of Chloé since then.

Marinette has ADHD , Dyslexia , Dyscalculia and Dyspraxia or "Clumsy Child Syndrome" which it explains about her clumsiness and reading difficulties but she's not alone as Cat Noir had learning disabilities himself so he knew how Marinette feels when it comes to being different from other kids. When Marinette said "But all the teachers say I don't sound natural when I read" meaning all teachers are aware of Marinette's reading difficulty and Cat Noir did a good job of depicting Marinette as a "clumsy girl with reading problems" since he knew her so too well. Despite Marinette being clumsy in front of Cat Noir, he's still doesn't understand her condition even tho he has learned about it before.

Marinette does have a close bond with Cat Noir as they're best friends and their friendship is stronger but they can very protective of each other at times because for Marinette, she knew Cat Noir has Autism and is very vulnerable to getting hurt easily and getting attacked by bullies and mean kids but for Cat Noir, it's due to his feline instincts of being protective of their owners, since Marinette is the closest to an "owner" Cat Noir actually has.

Marinette have sleepover with her friends and Cat Noir but mostly it's with Cat Noir because he's the only boy who's interested in girl stuff like makeups , dresses and skirts.

Marinette is aware of Cat Noir's instabilities and knows he's not given any help but she's able to give Cat Noir support. Marinette knew Cat Noir has long-term tremors since he's a crack baby and knows he has a hard time controlling his body movement. Marinette does frequently often visits Cat Noir in Mrs. Caroline's Class, a Special Education Class where Cat Noir goes in because of his learning disabilities and it was thought that because of Marinette's reading and learning disability, she would be in Mrs. Caroline's Special Ed class but instead she's currently in Mrs. Bustier's class.

Chloé Bourgeois.

Chloé is the most popular girl in Françoise Dupont High School and is the head cheer captain of a cheerleading squad.

She is the daughter of the Mayor of Paris and Queen of Fashion magazines and owner of a fashion company. Chloé is spoiled rotten by her father and verbally and emotionally abused by her mother.

Chloé knew Cat Noir before preschool and it was when his mother worked as a maid for The Bourgeois family but unfortunately she saw Cat Noir's mom sleeping with her father and Audrey was so angry at Cat Noir's mother that she wanted her fired but however André kept her on. Due to this it causes Chloé to take her anger and frustration out on Cat Noir by bullying him for being the "son of a hooker" but most importantly it explains why in fanfiction stories, Chloé mistreated Cat Noir. Chloé has always bullied and making fun of Cat Noir for coming from a very poor family , living in a shack to living in a 1960s motorhome , wearing baggy outfits , not being as rich as her , not being as popular as her , not being as smart as her , being dirty , being weak , being a mama's boy , not being muscular like other boys and not having masculinity like other boys. But however Chloé can go too far whenever she bullies Cat Noir, like she's been beaten him up causing Cat Noir's injuries to be more visible and bleeding.

His mother.

Cat Noir's mother is Selina Kyle, an alcoholic , drug addict and smoker young mother who gave birth to 8 children from 7 different fathers. She became a mother at a young age and she's an mentally unstable person who barely could take care of her children. She went from having multiple boyfriends to having multiple girlfriends. All of her children look more like their fathers than their mother. She bears a passion hatred towards man because she was physically abused by her father when she was a child. Her mother committed suicide when she was little and since she's the only one who looks like her mother, it's no wonder her father abuses her physically.

She had Cat Noir at 17 from a father she hardly knew and the baby daddy was 38 when Cat Noir was born. Since the baby daddy was arrested for supposedly "gang raping a minor", not only he'll never meet his baby but she'll have to raised Cat Noir on her own. She was so unstable both mentally and physically, she abused and neglected Cat Noir often 24/7 but she did leave him in a neglected state. She left her children in the care of her boyfriend but her boyfriend wanted nothing to do with Cat Noir and so as a result, he locked Cat Noir in the room for an hour or days or even a month/years whenever he has to deal with Cat Noir.

Selina abuse drugs and alcohol when she was a kid but due to this, the drugs completely fried her brain and gave her permanent brain damage but the alcohol cause her brain damage to worsen, she had memory loss. Thanks to the drugs it caused her to be unstable both mentally and physically, she went to a rehabilitation facilities for drug addicts and alcoholics like herself but she went from going to rehab often to now staying there until she's drug-free and alcohol-free because of her history of drug usage and overdosing on them but surprisingly surviving it, due to this she became absent in not only her kids but Cat Noir's life as well and she also became very sickly , extremely tired , supposedly weight gaining and severely skinny.

Rose Lavillant.

Rose Lavillant is one of Marinette's closest friends and the most nicest person Cat Noir has ever met. Rose is lead singer of a rock band, Kitty Section and Kitty Section band is a hybrid of a cat and unicorn but Cat Noir likes to call Kitty Section "Unikitty" since it is a combination after all. Rose loves unicorns which it's why Cat Noir sees her as a playmate and is depicted as sweet , kind and playful according to Cat Noir at least. Princess Twinkle Peach is Rose's favorite plush unicorn although Cat Noir finds Princess Twinkle Peach interesting because of her designs but again with his schizophrenic condition, he thought Princess Twinkle Peach can talk to him and move on her own.

She likes to sit on a soft pink cushion seat so it smoothed Cat Noir.

Lila Rossi.

Lila is the most popular girl in Françoise Dupont High School, she's from Italy and back in Italy, she used to bully a girl for no reasons. Lila is the biggest slut in school.

When Lila was at school in Italy, she used to sleep with popular guys for popularity. Lila most likely slept with Cat Noir because she knew he's the most vulnerable child and would get easily taken advantage of but Lila always raped Cat Noir which it causes her exposure in the first place and she barely took advantage of Cat Noir.

Much like Cat Noir, Lila grew up without a father in her life and is only raised by her mother but unlike Cat Noir, Lila lies about her home life , parents , why she's not in school , why she had bad grades , where she's at , why she's late , why she's failing and why she's tired.

Last but not least Cat Noir (even though he doesn't count as a relationship).

Cat Noir was born premature and as an accident on September 25, 2001 to an underage prostitute and a grown biker gang member. When he was born, he was in a incubator in the NICU room. He was an unexpected , unplanned and unwanted child because he has his dad's looks such as blonde hair , green eyes and orange-tinted skin.

Cat Noir has Autism , Mental Retardation , Severe Schizophrenia , Down Syndrome , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome , Alcohol-Related Birth Defect and Hydrocephalus but he has 3 types of Autism, Low-functioning Autism , Asperger's Syndrome and Severe Autism or Level 3 Autism. Due to his condition, he even has a learning disability as a result from his Autism , Down Syndrome , Mental Retardation and Hydrocephalus. Cat Noir even has a stunted growth as a result of his mom's alcoholism and it's no wonder he's short and looks younger for his age.

Cat Noir comes from a very poor family and lives from a shack to a 1960s motorhome. He's the 7th child of 8 children and each of Cat Noir's siblings have different fathers but they all have the same mother, Cat Noir is the oldest male in the household full of girls but his mom only wanted daughters so by the time Cat Noir was born, she's disappointed her baby is male and blamed the father for giving her a son instead of a daughter.

Cat Noir's mother was only 17 years old when she gave birth to Cat Noir although he was brought into the world irresponsibly by his mother because of her drug addictions and results due to 5 times of broken condoms. Cat Noir was raised by his absent on-and-off again mother and his mom often neglected Cat Noir 24/7 but she left him in a care of someone else except they neglected and abused Cat Noir too because he resembled his mother.

Cat Noir was often abused and neglected by his babysitters and other caretakers. What's even more messed up is the fact that he's a special needs child since he's autistic and have down syndrome but one of his babysitters would leave him in filth and one of his caretakers would beat him if he make noises.

Cat Noir transfer to Françoise Dupont High School at age 11+1/2 years old when he was in the 7th grade due to frequent bullying , abuse and neglect at a previous school, he's in a special ed class. The first person he met was Marinette Dupain-Cheng who was 12 years old at the time and since then he became inseparable towards Marinette due to her kindness , good nature , sweet tendencies and being nice to him.

Cat Noir sees Marinette as a mother figure and often calls her "mommy" but he likes to cuddle with Marinette and rub his face on Marinette to his affection towards her. Marinette knows Cat Noir has Autism and Down Syndrome thus she's patient and gentle with Cat Noir. Marinette taught Cat Noir how to walk and talk at 13 years old despite what everyone told her she can't teach Cat Noir speech.

Cat Noir has a developmental delay and due to this, he can't meet his milestones like dressing up on his own , feeding himself , cleaning himself , tying his own shoelaces , brushing his hair , brushing his teeth , taking a bath on his own and toilet training.

The before and after Aftermath of abuse and neglect.

Cat Noir was placed in the care of his mother's boyfriend but sadly he was further abused by his mom's boyfriend and neglected by him, he was even locked in his room 24/7, due to this isolation and neglect, Cat Noir's only companion was his stuff animals and his schizophrenic state is worsen but he believes his stuff animals could talk to him and move by themselves but it however freaks out other people because "what kind of kid believes his stuffed animals would talk and moving on its own" but he supposedly is always talking gibberish to "someone" else when actually he's talking to himself.

Cat Noir was born premature and as an accident due to a broken condom. He has Autism , Mental Retardation , Severe Schizophrenia , Down Syndrome , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome , Alcohol-Related Birth Defect and Hydrocephalus but his Severe Schizophrenia , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Alcohol-Related Birth Defect. His Autism , Mental Retardation and Down Syndrome were due to his mom's age being 17 and his dad's age being 38 but most importantly he has Hydrocephalus because of unknown reasons but what if it's actually due to his older father and young mother then it makes sense.

Does Lila really hate Ladybug for embarrassing her in front of the boy she liked or Is it actually in the mind of Cat Noir thinking that's what it is?

Ever wondered why Lila hated Ladybug with a passion, you may think it's because of Ladybug embarrassing Lila in front of Adrien but it's actually not true in fact it's nothing but in Cat Noir's mind, Cat Noir thinks this is why Lila hated Ladybug but in reality it's because Ladybug exposing Lila on how much of a skank oh she is because that bitch sleeps with every guy at school for popularity but however Cat Noir was unaware of Lila being a slut. In Volpina, Lila lies to Adrien about being a descendant of a fox-themed heroine, Volpina but after Ladybug humiliates her in front of Adrien Agreste by exposing her lies about the both of them being close friends and her owning the Fox Miraculous, she hated Ladybug ever since then, however this is not what happened, what actually happen in Volpina is Lila slept with Cat Noir for fame and popularity even despite Cat Noir being the school's outcast and misfit but it didn't matter to her she can sleep with any guy at school. Not only did Lila slept with Cat Noir but she also raped him, Lila knew Cat Noir has a history of being sexually assaulted and is the most vulnerable child but sadly she kept on touching him inappropriately. Ladybug later saw Lila taking advantage of Cat Noir and exposes her as "a bitch who sleeps with every special needs guy at school for personal game , stardom and being well-liked or well-known" since then everyone at school knew Lila is a hoe and loves to sleep with guys with special needs at school for stardom and popularity so that day she hated Ladybug since then.

Is Marinette a normal girl or did Cat Noir sees her as one?

In the theme song it said "In the daytime, I'm Marinette, Just a normal girl with a normal life. But there's something about me that no one knows yet, Cause I have a secret." You heard it "just a normal girl" now the question Is Marinette really normal? Cat Noir depicted Marinette as a shy and clumsy girl who's nice to everyone but Cat Noir knew Marinette doesn't sound natural when she reads so in reality it's due to her Dyslexia and Dyscalculia.

Why does Cat Noir wear a mask?

Cat Noir is known to wear a mask but ever wondered why he wore a mask?, you would think it's because he's hiding his secret identity from others but I think it's because he's hiding a large burn scar on the left side of his face because his mom accidentally spills hot boiling water onto the left side of Cat Noir's face causing the scar to be badly burned and permanent when Cat Noir was younger, as a result of this incident, Cat Noir wore his famous iconic mask to covered the burn scar.

From aftermath of abuse and neglect to foster care.

Since before the age of 13, Cat Noir was frequently abused and neglected by his mother's on-and-off again ex-boyfriend who beats Cat Noir 24/7 whenever he has to deal with Cat Noir and never likes to care of/babysat Cat Noir whenever Cat Noir's mom goes out for work , with one of her multiple boyfriends , to a bar , to the movies with her friends , shopping and going to jail for crimes but most importantly she's currently in a rehabilitation center so this means her ex-boyfriend has to take care of Cat Noir fulltime but he doesn't want to so he locked Cat Noir in his room 24/7 so didn't want to deal with Cat Noir. Everyone started noticing different about Cat Noir, he was severely malnourished , has bruised fingers , bruised toes , black-eye , broken nose , bruised lips , badly bitten arms , badly bitten legs , swollen arms , swollen legs , swollen gums , badly bitten ears , badly bitten fingers , badly bitten toes , knocked-out teeth , scraped knees , scraped elbows , slapped cheeks , bruised bottom and bruised-up back but worse of all, Cat Noir even had a bruised forehead and the fact Cat Noir is a special needs child, is still shocking.

Not long after Cat Noir turns 13 years old, the abuse and neglect became far more worst until one of the school's Child Psychologists took notice of Cat Noir's wounds and find out he's been frequently terribly abused and neglected by his mom's on-and-off again ex-boyfriend since the age of 8. The Child Psychologists decide to contacted the polices and social services to come and take Cat Noir away from the home. Cat Noir was taken to hospital and one of doctors found out Cat Noir is actually 13 with the body of an 11-year-old child but they even find out Cat Noir has a small severely damaged brain.

Cat Noir's Severe Schizophrenia is already worsen up due to again being a crack baby. He believes his imaginations are a reality because of how much he's been convinced too often. Cat Noir hear voices in his head and see things that aren't there but he often talks to himself despite thinking he's talking someone else.

First foster home.

After Cat Noir's mom's ex-boyfriend was arrested for child abuse and child neglect, Cat Noir was placed in Child's Care Services (CCS) because his mother is too unstable to care for him but however Cat Noir is badly affected by the abuse and neglect he suffers for so long that he didn't want to be touched and he has a shock look on his face whenever he break things he didn't mean to which it explains why in the episode, Simon Says, Cat Noir gave a shock look after scolding at Gabriel because in reality he thought he's going to get beaten. Originally Cat Noir was gonna be placed in one of his relative's house but his social worker didn't know how to get in contact with them and he was originally going to be placed in the care of his dad but no one knows where he's currently lives and he has permanent record so he can't be around kids not even his own child.

Cat Noir's social worker decide to put Cat Noir into foster care since there's no one who can take him in. Cat Noir's 1st foster home was bad because his foster parents frequently abused and neglected him but bad enough, the only reason why they take Cat Noir in because they're only doing this for money so they can spend it on and rottenly spoiled their biological kids. His foster mom did the worst things to Cat Noir, such as locking him in his room , refusing Cat Noir to have any contact with anyone and her biological children , refusing to feed Cat Noir , refusing to clothed Cat Noir , leaving Cat Noir in a filthy state , strapping Cat Noir to a potty chair in the daytime , putting Cat Noir into a straitjacket and locking him in a cage-like crib in the daytime and letting her kids bullied Cat Noir 24/7. One day his social worker notice Cat Noir in a terrible state and deciding removed Cat Noir from this terrible house.

From Second foster home to 11th foster home.

Cat Noir had to be moved from foster home to another foster home due frequent abuse and neglect happening but it's like to Cat Noir, no matter where he goes he'll always get abused and neglected. His second and 11th foster home was so bad that he had to be removed again and be placed in a new home but he's always getting bruises all over him as if his previous foster parents don't care about him and only seems to be interested in financials than caring for their foster child. But however it did take 2 weeks for the social workers to placed Cat Noir in a new home and it's always gonna turned bad, no matter what home Cat Noir was placed in and good thing the social workers decide to removed Cat Noir from a terrible home.

12th and Final foster home.

Not long after Cat Noir was removed from his 11th foster home, his social worker almost decide to give up trying to find a good place for Cat Noir to call home and a family to belong to but one of the employees told Cat Noir's social worker that there's one more chance of finding a good home for Cat Noir. Cat Noir's social worker found a home to placed Cat Noir in, The Jackson Family, they have a stable home , love , affection , enough food and care but most importantly at least it's safe place for Cat Noir to call home. He was so malnourished that he became hungry often despite he just ate.

Adoption

Not long after months of Cat Noir being placed in the care of The Jackson family, Christine Jackson, Cat Noir's foster mom decide to adopted Cat Noir and her husband, Harold Jackson, Cat Noir's foster dad agreed to this since they are parental figures to Cat Noir but at first when Cat Noir was placed in their care it was difficult for them to care for a child with special needs but they didn't give up on him and kept providing love and affection towards Cat Noir. Cat Noir was 13 when he was placed in the care of Christine Jackson and Harold Jackson but at first Christine thought Cat Noir was 11, only to find out he's actually 13 and this causes her to take Cat Noir to the hospital but that's when she find out everything about Cat Noir. 3 months later, Christine and Harold officially adopted 13-year-old Cat Noir but they continue to take care of him.

I hope you love this theory.

[marvel-mega]

Are you death or paradise?

(Ron Weasley x Reader)

A/N: apparently im feeling HORRIBLY angsty tonight so here is this heartbreaking fic with my absolute favorite billie eilish song “No time to die”. For reference (Y/H) =your (Hogwarts) house and (Y/H/T)= your hometown for my fellow united state inhabitants..? Well I hope you enjoy this is my first Harry Potter fit but I am hopelessly in love with Ron Weasley <3 so expect more??

word count: 1.8k 

warnings: sadness but also badass reader and Hermoine being the bad guy sorry... not sorry 

*I don't own this gif credit to the owner!*

I should've known

I'd leave alone

Just goes to show

That the blood you bleed 

Is just the blood you owe

To say you felt defeated was an understatement. 

No defeated isn't the right word you felt foolish, played, dumb, and most of all hurt. 

You knew there was something between Ron and Hermoine but you turned a blind eye. 

Why wouldn't you? You loved Ron more than anything 

You wanted to believe him when he said Hermoine was barely a friend.

"Honestly love we just tolerate each other for Harrys' sake." 

We were a pair

But I saw you there

Too much to bear

You were my life

But life is far away from fair

Yet here you were walking into the Gryffindor common room and there they were 

Kissing.

No, that wasn't enough

how can you describe a kiss that looks like its been waiting for years to be felt, 

a kiss that looked like it was oxygen for both people,

a kiss that was full of passion. 

Harry was behind you waiting to enter when he almost crashed behind you and was about to ask you what happened when you turned quickly and looked at him red-rimmed eyes and motioned with a single finger for him to not make a sound as you left the common room. 

Was I stupid to love you?

Was I reckless to help?

Was it obvious to everybody else

That I'd fallen for a lie?

You were never on my side

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

Looking back you remember telling yourself that you didn't let him see you cry because he didn't deserve to see you so vulnerable.

But in all honesty, you didn't want him to see you cry so you would never have to mention this incident.

You were willing to turn a blind eye to his infidelity because you loved him so much. 

Who had you let yourself become?

You knew it was going to come up eventually especially if the two of them wanted to carry on with their new relationship who were you to jeopardize that? 

There's just no time to die

I let it burn

You're no longer my concern

Faces from my past return

Another lesson yet to learn

That I'd fallen for a lie

You were never on my side

"How could I have let him fool me ?" You asked aloud to Cho. 

Neither of you spoke very often considering you being in (Y/H) and her being in Ravenclaw. 

But she saw you crying in the corridor 

and girls help girls in need when boys break their hearts.

The two of you were sitting on the stairs leading to the grand hall. 

You couldn't help but think back to a happier time when you had finally gotten the courage to ask Ron to the yule ball. 

But he watched her the whole night, you were blind 

And everyone else saw what you chose to ignore. 

"I knew there was something between them and I still thought I was better, somehow different

I still thought he could love me, not her." 

"Hey, this is not your fault. He is a coward and a complete idiot if he can't see how perfect you are." Cho explained as gently as she could but she couldn't hide her anger for the red-headed git. 

"I appreciate that Cho. I'm starting to think this school is cursed," you laughed lightly. 

You were from the United States specifically (Y/H/T). It was your decision whether to go to Hogwarts or Ilvermorny and foolishly you choose to go to Hogwarts and were currently living with a distant relative of your mothers'. 

"What if I just went to Ilvermorny back home?" 

Cho looked completely aghast. "You mean you'd leave?" 

"I don't see why not it's our last year sure but I was planning on moving back home after graduation anyways. This makes it easier to make connections and find a job back home don't you think?" 

Cho didn't know what to think. Yes, Ron hurt you but enough to make you want to completely leave your professors, your friends, and more importantly him? 

"You would leave without saying goodbye?" Cho said sadly. 

"Nothing is for certain. But I'll send an owl to my parents. They've been trying to convince me to come home for a while maybe they were right." 

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

The days after the incident, 

you referred to it like this because it made it easier to talk about like it was a car crash or an explosion, not a red-headed goofball you carelessly trusted,

you held your head high through the halls. 

'You will not let him see you fall' you told yourself. You were reckless to put your heart on the line like that for him. But what's that saying 'Only fools fall in love' well it couldn't be truer. 

Some days were easier than others you had spoken to the head of your house and made up an elaborate sudden illness that would sometimes make it impossible to go to class. 

So that covered your classes. 

But Ron...

You never spoke to him. 

It was easier this way. 

Made ripping the bandage off easier. 

You went up to the three of them in the courtyard ignoring how Rons' eyes lit up when he saw you coming towards them. 

You turned to Hermoine she looked beyond frightened at your cold and calculated stare. 

"I was hoping I could have my ancient runes textbook back Miss Granger? I let you borrow it last week"

Hermoine was confused not about the incident Harry had given the two of them an earful when you left the common room. 

As far as Hermoine knew you weren't taking ancient runes anymore. 

"Are you going to be taking the course again?" She asked politely hoping this met you'd put the whole thing behind you. As if it wasn't a big deal. 

You bit your tongue to refrain from saying "like it's any of your business Granger".

"I am. At Ilvermorny, next term. So if you could just leave it in the (Y/H) common room the password is 'paradise falls' I'd appreciate it." 

You were feeling very grateful at your ability to remain completely stoic to their gaping mouths at the news that you were transferring. 

You glanced over in Harrys' direction. 

He was one of the few people that made leaving Hogwarts more difficult. 

"Ilvermorny?" He spoke almost as if the word was an insult. 

"The wizarding school in America." You replied. 

Barely above a whisper, you heard Ron stutter, "W-Why?" 

This was the first time you had looked at him since the incident. 

He looked for lack of a better word, horrible. 

You wanted to scream and shout and cry and rip his head off. 

But instead, you gave him a once over from head to toe. 

Silently reprimanding him for even thinking you owed him a reason.

Regardless you spoke calmly "Personal reasons Mr. Weasley." 

You glanced at the three of them, the golden tiro, the one you trusted the most was the most responsible for the pain you were feeling.

Feeling like you were detached from your voice you said, "It was lovely to have met the three of you and I am fortunate to have had the pleasure of attending the same school.

Goodbye" 

You looked Ron in the eyes impassively when speaking the last word. 

No time to die

No time to die

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

You had no time to lose yourself over a boy. 

You were an adult and so was Ronald. 

So why were there tears falling uncontrollably when you left the courtyard? 

Because he dug his claws deep into your heart and soul. That's why. 

Oddly enough you kept thinking about his family.

Rons' mother was such an amazing woman.

Speaking of amazing women Ginny was going to grow up and change the world 

You knew it. 

You never formally met Percy considering his poor decision making.

Bill and Charlie never faltered in making you feel protected and cared for. 

And most of all Fred and George made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

You smiled at the thought before running into someone. Or someones?

Attempting to wipe your tears quickly you looked up to find Fred and George looking at you confused.

"Y/N?" 

Your heart broke you didn't have it in you to pretend to be strong and made out of marble.

You owed it to yourself to feel what you wanted to feel. 

Nor were you going to hold back and keep Rons' secrets for him, he did not deserve that.

He deserved the whole world to know he broke you. 

"Hey, guys." You managed a weak, half-hearted smile. 

Fred and George looked at each other and simultaneously said "What did he do?"

Jokingly expecting your tears to be for someone else and not their kind little brother.

But when you didn't laugh and let out a downright broken sob they knew it was something extremely serious. 

Without question, the twins embraced you and let you wholly release everything you were holding in. 

Just then Ron came running down the corridor 

"Please Y/N Let me explain it wasn't what it looked-" he spoke breathlessly behind but stopped abruptly when he saw his brothers disappointed expressions. You backed out of the warm encircle. 

You took a deep breath. A shaky breath but a deep one none the less. 

"Thank you for accepting me into your home. Please let your mother know she is the kindest woman in the world." 

Ron spoke behind you "Please my love. Talk to me. Look at me I'm begging" 

You turned with such fury and speed Fred and George thought you were going to take your wand out and curse their brother. 

You stood silent. In front of the boy, you would've given the world to. Maybe even now you still would.

"You do not get to speak to me. You do not get to 'explain yourself'. You do not get to say anything to me. I fell for a lie. It was my mistake believing you. I have nothing for you, Ronald Weasley."

You watched him slowly fall apart.

You wanted to feel something

Pride

Anger 

Something. But you were drained of every emotion you had given everything to Ron. 

You turned to Fred and George and smiled dispiritedly. 

From behind you, you could hear one of the twins say "Let her go, mate. You messed up. You lost her." 

And left. Alone 

Just as you had arrived. 

[tenshiscientia]

How She Feels (Xemnas Version)

Chapter 2

Heartless...there were so many Heartless, as far as the eye could see swarming the area that the Organization had been working in that evening to collect hearts. Already most of the Organization's members had been quickly decimated by the Heartless and had to pull back. Both Xemnas and Amaterasu were trying their best to defend the Organization but as time passed, it was apparent to both Xemnas and Amaterasu that this was a battle they were quickly losing. Amaterasu grunted loudly as she had a Heartless claw at her side, pieces of her clothing and flesh being torn off. The gruesome sound of flesh being ripped echoed loudly in her ears.

Amaterasu let out a cry as she brought down her sword Cosmos hard on the offending Heartless, killing that one and three others. She cursed as she fell to her knees. Her breathing was shallow yet rapid and her head began to spin. She realized she had lost too much blood. Looking up too quickly reminded her how dizzy she was.

Even so, she was barely able to see. The blood from a blow to the head was leaking over her eyes and blinding her vision...'

__________________________

Amaterasu's eyes flew open and she sat up with a start breathing heavily. Her eyes darted around the curtain enclosed bed. The dark blue light from the Kingdom Hearts moon still filtered through and illuminated the inside of the curtained bed, giving the area a dark blue glow. Xemnas was asleep next to her, breathing deep and even, face peaceful in sleep. She hadn't disturbed him when she sat up.

Which was good for her, if he had noticed her sitting up like she had, he would have been concerned for her. Her breathing had slowed a little and she put her hand over her heart, trying to slow it's fast beating.

‘What was that dream about?' she asked herself.

“Amaterasu? Are you alright?” Xemnas's deep voice asked from behind her.

Amaterasu turned and found Xemnas's eyes open and starting at her as he still laid back against the pillows.

“Ah, yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine, everything's good. Yep, everything's great.” she replied, trying to sound like nothing was bothering her.

“Then why is your heart beating so fast. You can't hide it from me. I can hear it perfectly. Something has scared you greatly. Tell me what it is.” Xemnas said, sitting up and putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Nah, everything is fine. Nothing is wrong at all. I'm just a little...um, uh...just a little...well...” Amaterasu tried to lie to him.

“Amaterasu, you shouldn't try to lie to me. I can tell when you are. Now tell me what is going on, and don't try to tell me it's nothing. Your heart wouldn’t be beating so fast. I've only heard your heart beat as fast as it is when you are frightened of something.

What are you frightened of?” Xemnas demanded of her.

Amaterasu looked down at the bed they were sitting on. He had her there. Caught her very well in a lie. She usually didn't like to lie to anyone, but she really didn't want to tell him what had happened in her dream, but it seemed like he wasn't going to let her off the hook. Well, here went nothing.

“I...I had a dream Xemnas...” she began.

Xemnas nodded and waited for her to continue, not pressing matters until he needed to.

“In it there was a huge battle field. It was a bloody battle field. Filled with Heartless destroying everything they touched. And the Organization, they were there too. They were all hurt...but...that's all I could really tell.

I was fighting for my life. And I was hurt, hurt really bad too. I could feel the pain all through out my body. I was wearing the Organization's coat and a Heartless had attacked me and had torn a huge part of the coat away, along with making huge gashes in the flesh where the coat had been. It hurt so bad.

You were there too. You were fighting, but...but it seemed like we were losing the fight against the Heartless. I don't know where everyone else was, but it seemed like the two of us were alone, like there was no one else around us. Goddess, there was so much blood...so much blood around us...” Amaterasu cried, her body starting to tremble, her mind remembering the dream sending her body into a panic attack.

Suddenly she gave a loud shriek and started to get up off the bed and run out of the curtain, screaming that the Heartless were going to kill her. Xemnas threw his arms around her waist pinning her arms down at the same time, and having to use all of his impressive strength, threw her back to the bed. She struggled against him and he had no choice but to pin her down using his own body by laying on top of her. Her struggling increased and she began thrashing around below him.

“Amaterasu, stop this! There are no Heartless here! You are safe, there is nothing to hurt you, stop struggling!” Xemnas yelling, trying to break through the illusion that Amaterasu's mind had put her in.

However, Amaterasu's mind was locked in the illusion and she refused to stop. She managed to get one arm free and she hit Xemnas in the head, stunning him for a second. In that precious second that she stunned him, Amaterasu pulled out of Xemnas's arms and shoved him away. Throwing the curtain aside, Amaterasu managed two steps out of the bed before she was tackled back to the ground. Xemnas shoved her over onto her back and suddenly Amaterasu's face snapped to the side as the room echoed with the sound of a sharp 'slap'.

Amaterasu stopped her struggling beneath Xemnas, going stock still as she stared up at him, eye wide with shock. Xemnas held her down with both hands on her shoulders waiting for her to keep struggling. When she didn't, he loosened his hold on her and held himself up on his hands and knees over her.

“Are you okay now?” he asked softly, looking down at her.

Amaterasu looked up at him and nodded her head. She reached up and threaded her hand into his hair and Xemnas closed his eyes and leaned into her hand breathing in deeply. He hadn't wanted to slap her, but it was the first thing that had come into his mind to stop her panicking. Amaterasu's other hand came up and slid into Xemnas's hair and pulled him down and into a fierce, breathtaking kiss. Xemnas wasn't expecting it, so as their lips met his eyes went wide then slipped shut as he gave into it dipping down so Amaterasu didn't have to lean up to reach him.

Pulling Amaterasu against him, Xemnas lost himself in the kiss and forgot everything else. The fact that Amaterasu had the dream, that she had panicked, that she had tried to run away, that he had to slap her. Everything just centered itself around the kiss that Amaterasu was sharing with him. Finally they pulled away from each other and rested their foreheads together, allowing their breaths to mingle as they tried to get their breath back. Amaterasu giggled below Xemnas.

“What?” he asked her.

“Nothing!” she replied quickly.

“Don't make me force you to talk...” Xemnas warned.

“And just what will you do to make me talk?” Amaterasu asked with a smile on her face.

“This...” he replied.

Then he descended upon her with tickling fingers and tickled her sides and abdomen, making her screech with laughter and shake uncontrollably while she tried to get away from him. Shoving at his chest did nothing to him, so she finally relented.

“Alright! ALRIGHT, I'LL TALK! JUST STOP TICKLING ME!” Amaterasu shouted while still laughing.

Xemnas pulled himself back onto his hands and knees above her and looked down expectantly waiting for her to tell him what she had been giggling about.

“Well...” he asked her, raising a caramel colored hand in a threatening manner, showing that he was not above tickling her again.

“Well, I was just thinking back to the life I had before I came here. About the family that have I left behind.” she said with a sigh.

Xemnas tilted his head as he looked down at her.

“And...” he questioned again.

“Well...my brother would have killed you by now for even thinking to touch me. Let alone kiss me as you have. The the one that he loved would have your head if my brother didn't manage to kill you first. Then if those two didn't manage to get to you first, my brothers best friend would have lectured the hell out of you about some kind of honor and pride of not having married me or something along the lines of that before we had even slept in the same room. Let alone the same bed.

Then if those three didn't get to you, my brother's best friends student would be after you for messing with his best friend and fellow prankster for corrupting me and turning me against him. I don't know how that would work but he somehow would turn it into that. He was always so damn possessive when it came to people talking to me. Then there is the fact of his best friend. He wasn't as bad as the others, but he was still protective of me.

That was probably due to the fact that I helped him with his missions whenever he went out on one and I went with him. Then if none of them got you, you would definitely have to watch out for my three cousins. And that in itself is a entirely impossible feat. Those three are the scariest things that I know to be called human. My youngest cousin, I swear he is mentally unstable.

He can be all kind and gentle one moment, then the next he wants to cut your head off. Of course he was never like that with me, but anyone disrespected me or something like that, and well...they ended up dead. And there was nothing that anyone could do about it. The second oldest one was the hardest to read, and in my opinion, the most dangerous. He was the quiet one.

And you know what they say about the quiet ones. Those are the ones you need to watch out for because they are the ones who are the most deadly. And he put that saying to shame. He was not deadly, he was lethal. The true definition of it.

You didn't want to face him in battle. If you did, you didn't survive, unless it was mock battle. And even then, you didn't survive. It was just a lot less brutal of a death. He would have taken off your head, after he shot you full of holes.

Then the oldest of my cousins, he was a lot kinder when he wanted to be. He actually never wanted to fight. But if you crossed him, well once again, you didn't survive. He was a lot nicer when he killed someone. However, if you hurt someone he cared about, well the “nice kill” as we came to funnily call it, went out the door.

It was absolutely brutal then. My family basically would have killed you a thousand times over by now. I was just laughing about that. Was just laughing about the fact that I would be jumping in front of you and be yelling the shit out of them to leave you the hell alone and if they didn't that I would kill them, or I would quote unquote “Beat the shit out of them”. Something along the lines of that.

Just to make sure that they got the hint not to touch you. That's all. I just found it funny, because they would be looking at me like “What the shit?” Amaterasu replied.

Xemnas stared down at her as he processed what she had just said. Amaterasu had never talked about her past or where she had come from before, so all of this was new information to him. He cocked his head to the side and raised a silver eyebrow. It was an interesting bit of information that he could possibly use later. Maybe as a topic of casual conversation or something else, but it was interesting.

“Well despite the fact that your family would come after me for being near you, I would still stay. Now I want to take you somewhere with the rest of the Organization. I had it planned for yesterday, but other things had come up. If you will allow me to change my clothing, I will return to your old room. You need to find something warm to wear for we will be going somewhere cold.

I will wait outside your door for you to change to give you the privacy you require.” Xemnas stated moving around his room, gathering clothes from the drawers from a dresser.

Slipping into what Amaterasu figured was the bathroom, she only had to wait a few minutes for him to return. Xemnas was dressed in the normal Organization coat. However it looked like he had put an extra layer on underneath it. He also had a scarf on around his neck and was carrying his black leather gloves in his hands. Walking over to his dresser once again, he fished around in it for a moment and then pulled something black out of it.

Sliding the drawer shut, he walked back over to Amaterasu and extended his free hand for her to take. She did so without question and he opened a Dark Corridor. Amaterasu looked at it with hesitation, then looked up at Xemnas.

“There is no need to fear it. With me by your side, nothing will harm you. The Darkness will never touch you so long as you never stray from my side.” he whispered to her.

Amaterasu looked back at the Dark Corridor, then nodded her head. Xemnas led her forward and into it. The darkness enshrouded the both of them and Amaterasu's hand closed around Xemnas's tightened but she didn't pull away. A light bloomed in front of them, and they walked out back into the light. When Amaterasu looked around, she found herself in her room.

Amaterasu nodded at Xemnas then walked over to the dresser that held her clothes and started pulling clothes out. She didn't have very many warm things because she didn't leave the Castle very often and she didn't have much of a chance to bring things along with her when she left her original home. Pulling out a couple shirts, she turned to ask Xemnas if he thought that those would be enough, but he was no longer in the room. Then Amaterasu remembered Xemnas said he would step out of the room so that she could change. She shrugged and pulled off the shirt she had worn yesterday and then pulled on the two shirts she had pulled out.

They were long sleeved and heavy. They had been standard issue for the people that had worked for the military faction she had worked for. They weren't the most comfortable things in the world, but they did keep you warm. She then pulled out a set of warm pants that were also standard issue for the cold from the military faction. She hated the memories that they brought back, but she wasn't going to get rid of them.

They were too useful. Bad memories were easily forgotten, good clothes lasted forever. Well until they wore out at least. She pulled them on then walked over to the bed that she usually slept in. Reaching under it, she pulled out a pair of military grade boots.

They were warm and durable. However, though they were military grade and durable, they were also fashionable. They weren't big and bulky, they were slim and refined. More along the lines of what a woman would wear if she was going out on a date. There was a low heel to them and they were slightly pointed at the toe.

Pulling them on, she secured the buckles that held them together, making sure her pants were neatly tucked into them. Dubbing herself ready, she walked to her door and opened it. Xemnas was leaning on the wall next to her door, his arms crossed and his eyes closed. When he heard the door open, he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. Assessing her attire, he nodded his head and pushed himself off the wall.

“Now that you are properly dressed., there is one more thing that you need to put on.” he said softly.

Opening the black object he had been carrying in his hand, he shook it out to reveal that he had been carrying another Organization coat with him. Amaterasu's eyes widened and she gasped.

“You...you're giving me a...” she began.

“Yes, you've been here long enough. I believe it is time that you have a coat of your own. Though you may not be an official member of the Organization, you will now wear our coat as if you are one of us.” he said, turning Amaterasu around and slipping her arms into the sleeves and sliding the coat up to her shoulders so she was wearing it.

Turning her back around, Xemnas zipped the coat up and took a few steps back and admired his handiwork. It was just as he thought. He had known Amaterasu would look good in the Organization's coat and she did.

“This is really mine...” Amaterasu asked, running her hands over the soft leather.

“Yes it is.” Xemnas affirmed again.

Suddenly, Amaterasu surged forward, wrapping her arms around Xemnas's chest, seeing as she couldn't reach any higher, and buried herself against him. Xemnas heard something said but was unsure what it was because it was so muffled.

“What was that?” he asked, as he pushed Amaterasu back far enough to hear her voice.

“I said thank you Xemnas.” Amaterasu repeated.

Xemnas was silent, not remembering the last time he had ever been thanked for anything. At least by someone other than Amaterasu. Amaterasu pulled away from him and looked up at him expectantly.

“Didn't you say we were going somewhere?” she asked him with a smile.

Xemnas shook his head and looked away for a second then turned and opened a Dark Corridor. Amaterasu took hold of Xemnas's hand again and together they walked through it. When they reached the other side, they found the other Organization members waiting for them in the Gray Room. They all seemed a little annoyed that Xemnas and Amaterasu had seemed to take so long, but the two of them didn't care.

“I will open the Corridor to the world we will be going to. The world we are going to will remain unknown. Follow me.” Xemnas said as he waved his hand and a Dark Corridor opened.

Xemnas and Amaterasu walked through first with the rest of the Organization following. When they exited the other side, they found themselves in a winter wonderland. There was snow all over and covering everything. Amaterasu walked away from Xemnas out into a clearing and spun in a circle admiring the view. Then a wicked smile arose on her face.

Slowly turning around, Amaterasu saw that the rest of the Organization was distracted by he sights of the world around them. She silently leaned down and gathered snow into her hand and formed it into a snow ball. Drawing her arm back, she launched the snowball into the air. With a wet thwack the snowball hit its target. The targets head jerked forward, then snapped around to look at her.

“Gotcha Marluxia!” Amaterasu said tauntingly, a evil smile on her face.

Though Marluxia wasn't happy about being hit with the snowball, he could tell exactly what she wanted. So she wanted a snowball fight...so she would get a snowball fight....

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 14: Truthful liar (Part 3)

Warnings: mentions of abuse

Author notes: here is the third part of the chapter...! I hope you’ll like it!

That nightmare had managed to ruin my morning. Dreaming that I was my ability…? That was ridiculous. That power belonged to me, it did not have a will of its own. But, just as said, and as I had come to accept, it was a manifestation of my wish to hear my mother's voice, an uncontrollable impulse towards her which had destroyed my health. She had appeared so young, in that blood-coloured kimono… In fact, she had looked exactly the same as the photography I had taken from the Taikin mansion and which had never left me since. I supposed that was because I did not have another image of her… Whenever I tried to recall her smile, all I would get was a blurred face. I could not even see her eyes, which everyone said had the same colour as mine. I sighed. I most certainly had that kind of dream because of my hesitation in meeting Ruriko-chan. I both wanted to see her, yet feared her reaction and her look of disgust when she would notice me. No, it was better not to be her sister anymore…

"Eating your bowl of rice grain by grain is the slowest way I've ever seen you having breakfast~" Dazai teased.

Because of that odd night, I did not feel very hungry that morning, even if the scent of the food smelled very appetising. The tenant had done her best to prepare it for us… I could not be picky. Besides, it could be my sole meal of the day if we got top busy.

"You didn't eat much either…" I noticed "Well, that's unsurprising…"

"The day you make a miso soup, I'll consider having breakfast~"

I smirked.

"I'll learn as soon as we are back to Yokohama."

"I said I'll consider, I didn't promise anything~"

"I'll shove it down your throat."

"You're mean…~ Oh, did the client contact you?"

The look I gave him answered his question. That man… He had not sent a single message to meet us, despite being the one asking for help. I had had to call the Fox to search for the hotel he was residing in, although the informer had had a hard time finding him since that customer was restricted and protected by the police, already. It was frustrating… I did not want to help him, and he did not make me want to bodyguard him, anyway. He was most likely another pompous rich man who thought people were at his service. That had the power to get on my nerves…

"I suppose we'll simply have to go and meet him, then…"

"Sure thing… After all, we can't let him die… Can we…~?" I chuckled.

As expected, the hotel room where we would finally encounter the client was heavily guarded by the police. We barely managed to obtain the right to see the man, and even our detective license had been inspected to confirm it was not a forged one. When, finally, the door opened, we entered in a rather dark chamber. The curtains had been pulled, blocking the sunlight, and no lamp was working. I turned on the light, unable to see anything, and found the Fox's friend curled up in a corner, in between a wall and a dresser. His head was hidden in his arms, and his knees were brought to his chest. He looked harmless, and absolutely terrified. I got closer to him and crouched down.

"Hey, are you alright…?" I inquired.

He looked up at me, and my eyes widened, seeing how pale, restless and frightened he was. All of the negative feelings I had built while imagining a pretentious businessman faded away instantly, replaced by a growing anger. Who was responsible for the ruin of this man?

"You… Who are you…?"

His voice was hoarse, as though his throat was dry. A quick look around the room showed there was no trace of water, nor food.

"I am Ogawa Yōko, a friend of the Fox and an armed detective from Yokohama… I'm with my colleague, Dazai Osamu." I introduced ourselves "Who did that to you…?"

"I… I don't know…" He trembled "People… With a knife… I… Ugh…"

His hand clenched onto his abdomen, in pain, and I swiftly raised his shirt, only to see the messy bandage covered in blood wrapped around what looked like a rather deep cut.

"Why didn't they treat you…?"

"For my… Safety… Can't… Go out…"

"It's true that you're more likely to live if you starve and bleed to death…" I groaned "Dazai —"

He was busy looking through papers on the desk, most certainly the research on petrol the Fox had told me about.

"Look." He told me "That has nothing to do with oil…"

I frowned and grabbed a document from his hands.

"You're right…!" I realised "But why was our information wrong…?"

"I'm not sure…" He sighed "For the moment, we should take care of that poor man."

"How? And why does the police lock him up here…?"

"I think…"

He leaned towards my ear to whisper, so quietly I could barely hear him.

"They mustn't be from the police at all… I say, they are trained mercenaries…"

"That makes sense…" I agreed "I bet they also spread false information about him… Yet, whose purpose do they serve…? Who would benefit from the ruin of that scientist?"

"A rival, perhaps… Who in there could be threatened by his research?"

According to his work, the scientist studied a seed which could be cultivated in winter — an ideal crop for the cold soil of Hokkaido. In the event that his business flourished, then he could gain influence in the prefecture…

"Don't tell me… The Ogawa family…" I groaned.

Dazai held back a laugh.

"No, silly. I bet they just want to live peacefully after what happened years ago. I think we need to investigate further… But for the moment, let's focus on getting him treated." He suggested.

"You're right… I'm too biased towards them..."

When we came out of the room, the fake policemen obviously tried to stop us from taking the man away. Unfortunately for them, I had an unbeatable technique when it came to convincing underlings.

"It's an order from that person." I crossed my arms, looking down on them.

They flinched, and exchanged glances. That worked.

"... Really…? But you're detectives…!"

"So what? You know how influential that person is. Is it really that surprising that one or two detectives can be bribed by them?" I rolled my eyes, impatiently "Now, out of our way, henchmen."

"Y-Yes, of course… If that person said so…"

When, suddenly, the air entered my lungs as we went out of the hotel, I realised I had stopped breathing throughout our exchange with the guards. I felt relieved that we could make it out… Our next destination would be the hospital. The client, whose name we did not even know, needed urgent care. We would interrogate him once he would recover.

"May I ask you, where does that come from…?" Dazai raised an eyebrow.

"The "that person" technique?" I smirked "Well, back then, your name was not even needed to frighten people, so that's how we mentioned you… It does sound more… Threatening~"

"... I see…"

[dilfbatman]

Do u have ny angsty headcanons aboht aby character

first of all i relate heavy to the way this was worded, you’re so valid bro and secondly, lemme think of some! this is my first time doing angst so please bare with me! (this one is very long and you have my utmost admiration and thanks if you read it fully (if it’s too long and you can’t just know you’re so valid and i still love and wanna thank you) and to whoever requested this, thank you bc it made me really feel something and made me appreciate these characters even more!)

—

- percy will personally never in his life touch alcohol and he won’t dabble in drugs, he knows firsthand the vile effects of it and wants to be in control of his faculties. let it be known he will legitimately murder any abuser in sight, on sight.

- leo and percy often talk about their terrible home lives and percy gets really upset when leo mentions his foster homes and how he’s ran away multiple times, he talks about how much he misses his mother. he feels like it’s his fault and percy won’t hear any more of it, he’ll hold leo close & tight and let him cry into his shoulder and percy will also cry while leaving kisses on leo’s head and running his fingers softly through leo’s hair bc they’ve gone through so much hurt and pain and it’s unfair. percy in a silent pang of guilt is so grateful for his mother and that she’s safe and alive and just wished that the same could be said for leo’s mother. he wishes that gabe never existed and that their mother’s weren’t thrown into the bs they have to be thrust into just by virtue of being a demigod. he wants the gods and goddesses and monsters to just leave them alone and let them just find peace and rest

- piper talks to leo about her life and how she just wishes it was all normal and that they didn’t have to have such difficult lives, and how she just wanted everyone to be safe and leo just has his arm around her shoulders and lets her know that she isn’t alone in that feeling and they have a new found family and that’s what matters

- nico will sometimes just shut down in his bed and feel numb and realize that there’s water coming out of his eyes and he’s realizing he’s crying and is confused. he really misses bianca and just thinks about how she reincarnated and he shadowtravels the world trying to find her, but to no avail. there’s a sense of bitterness and betrayal in him but that quickly fades bc she was just a child that had to be a mother to him, and he starts feeling guilty and sobs uncontrollably bc he misses her and just wants her back and wants to hug and hold her again. hazel comes in bc she senses nico’s upset and just holds him so tight and whispers softly and sweetly that it will all be okay, that she’s there for him, that she’s his sister too and she loves him and she knows that nico loves her too

- he’s also never sleeping due to his nightmares of tartarus and he decides for a while just to not go to bed and stay awake, and around camp he might have a sense of dread and power roll off of him into waves that the campers feel and the hairs stand up on the back of their necks - jason & will notice this and quietly take him into the hades cabin and just sit quietly with him in his bed. eventually, nico dozes off and his hands are held both by jason & will - there’s an unspoken but understood communication between the both of them

- frank also always is missing his mother, he’s never not thinking about her and he has identity crises about how he can be the son of mars while he feels a strong connection to apollo and why did his mother fall in love with mars? his burning stick also is always looming in the back of his mind and still gets nightmares about it which he wakes up in the middle of the night from, in a cold sweat. fellow ares campers know that feeling and clarisse tells frank to come with her and they both sit down at the lake and talk about all the issues and heartache that comes from being the child of the god of war. clarisse lets him know the other kids know what it’s like, and she & they are always here for him, they’re always there for their own. frank starts to cry and clarisse holds him quietly knowing this is what he needs

- will is the resident doctor and while he’s saved countless lives, he’s lost a few too. they were his friends, his comrades, his brothers and sisters and some days it just eats him up - he feels guilt settle so deeply that he just goes outside bc he feels a sense of claustrophobia. piper & nico see him and sense this and they hold him up and take him to an open field that the demeter children have that is full of green grass, strawberry patches, and is filled with sunshine. they sit him down and will rests his head in nico’s lap while his legs are on piper’s and he just lets out everything he’s feeling while they both quietly listen and he talks until he can’t anymore bc he’s about to break down. nico kisses him very softly and let’s him know that everyone he’s saved is good and well because of him and those who were lost were granted elysium and are eternally grateful to will. nico said he’d even take will to the underworld to show him and make him realize the difference and good will has done in the world - the entire time piper is holding will’s hand and uses her charmspeak to calm him down in a way she knows will needs

- sometimes jason and annabeth just sit in the zeus cabin talking to each other about anything and everything. annabeth quietly speaks about tartarus with jason whenever she doesn’t want to talk to percy about it, because she knows it’ll bring him into a spiral as well and she doesn’t want to do that. jason feels a pit in his stomach as deep as tartarus bc how could she have survived? he knows how much will power she has, how capable, intelligent, strong she is but he can’t help feeling unbelievably frightened for her bc she’s not a child of the big three. big three kids are powerful and look at the wreck percy & nico feel - and while she is too, there’s just so much fear in her eyes and her voice falters and jason just holds her. she just sobs into his shoulder and he just holds her so tight in a silent gesture of “i’m here for you.” he rubs her back, let’s her get everything out, she doesn’t have to put on a strong facade and simply lets all her fears and worries out into the open air. jason hears her out, gives out advice and wisdom right at the perfect times, and he reiterates that he’s always here for her. the genuine thankfulness in her eyes is something he holds dearly

- jason will talk about how heartbroken he is that his memories were wiped. his own life feels like a game that’s being played by the gods and all the other demigods can relate to that notion, and percy hears him out and has jason lay his head on percy’s lap and just talk about the hurt. percy knows what it’s like, while it may be on a smaller scale, he can attest to the sadness and confusion jason feels and agrees w everything he says. sometimes jason just goes quiet and forgets to talk, and percy has to run his fingers through jason’s hair to let him know that he’s here, he’s alive, he’s making new memories and that he’s here for him.

- something reyna and jason have in common is the fact that both their parents descended into madness. they talk in hushed voices and tears softly fall down both their faces, they are both holding each other’s hands to make sure they’re tethered to this earth and that they’re here for each other bc they know what the other person is going through. reyna told nico this and she tells jason this too, and she speaks about how she’s afraid bc committing patricide is one of the biggest sins in the roman camp, and she’s afraid of what that means for her fate. jason tells her that pluto will be kind to her, he reminds her that nico & hazel have both talked to their father to guarantee elysium for them all, and while she appreciates that there’s always that sense of what if she doesn’t? jason eases her worries and tells her it will all be okay and reyna nods and looks into his eyes and makes sure that jason knows that it will all be okay for him too

- percy will sometimes just be alone in the poseidon cabin and will start uncontrollably sobbing. he furiously thinks to himself that if he’s a son of poseidon can’t he control his tears? to make them not fall? he thinks of how much he misses bob and constantly tells the stars that he says hello & he’s made a promise to himself that he would get him out of there one way or another. then he spirals about tartarus and how frightened and powerful he felt when choking the goddess of misery. he goes numb for a bit and then forces himself to think about the goodness in his life and the friends he has and the mother he so dearly loves and like a gift from above he sees tyson comes in and tyson is wondering why his big brother is crying? tyson tells percy to please not cry and holds him so tight and tyson’s eye is filling up w tears and his voice is wobbly and percy holds tyson’s face and tells him that him & tyson are going to be alright and that he loves him so dearly and he’s so thankful for him. tyson has the biggest smile on his face and percy just wants to protect him and he just hugs him so tight, trying to convey his love, admiration, and adoration for his lil baby brother

- leo and hazel will just sit together near the forest and hazel puts her head on his shoulders speaking about how much she wishes she had a normal childhood, how both her & leo were forced to make sacrifices for the greater good, and how the people she loved were hurt by her powers. leo stays quiet for a bit and tells her that they’re both the same and that their bond and friendship is strong because of that. hazel holds his hand so tightly bc she knows they’re both scared but they’re both alive and they’re here against all odds, and that’s what matters

- i know nearly all demigods deal with not only survivor’s guilt, but they had to deal with the loss of friends/loved ones, they’ve had to deal with horrific family situations and they’ve had to be thrust into war - it takes a physical, emotional, and mental toll and i just want them all to go to therapy, get necessary medication, and have people tell them that they love them

here you go anon! i had to bust out my sad songs in my playlist for this and if i’m honest, this made me love & appreciate these characters even more and i didn’t think that was possible. i love you and hope you enjoy this! also the way you wrote the message still is making me giggle you absolute icon - thank you if you take the time to read this, i know it’s way too long but this one really made me feel something <3

[fallingstormphoenix]

Sol & Star II

(Another part of the collab with me and @robinshouseofwhump !)

Arron was waiting anxiously at the door, kneeling down like a good little servant should. He managed to make the apartment spotless, even managing to organize Abel's closet and junk piles. All he had to do now was wait for Mas- er- Abel. 

 Occuldous comes in the door first. It’s new that he does that and it shows that he’s slowly gaining confidence. He almost tackled Arron in excitement. He grabbed Arron’s face carefully and leaned his forehead to touch Arron’s. Abel rescued a new friend! She is like us but scary. Abel said I can be his helper like you are, to help her get better!

"S-scary?" The demon whined, scary was what he called Sir, or Master.

Occuldous nodded hesitantly, But she’s scared too. Like us. But Abel will help. Abel is good at that.

 Arson was tired now and was following Abel with a slack leash, but was still ready to bolt if she saw a chance. Arron, on the other hand, backed away as soon as he saw the girl. She had a fire in her eyes that he did not like. It looked like Papa's when he got angry. 

  Arson barely paid attention to the little demon. She wasn’t afraid of him or Occuldous unless they startled her. Abel was the only one that frightened her right now, because of his intimidating stature and the fact he was her current owner. She tugged at the leash when he walked her through the door, not wanting to be trapped or cornered inside.

"Starlight," Abel smiled to Occuldous as he brought the girl to the couch. "Go sit on the toilet seat and wait while I take care of this ok?"

 Occuldous nodded obediently and went to wait. He was still timid around the tub, but he was getting better in trusting that Abel wouldn’t drown him. 

"Hey Pumpkin," Abel then turned to Arron, who followed him like a lost puppy. "Come here and sit with me and Arson." 

 Arson growled softly behind the muzzle, warning him not to touch her. Arron swallowed nervously and looked up at Abel. “What can I do?” He questioned, glancing at the growling Sunwitch out the corner of his eye. 

"Arson, would you like the gag off?" 

Arson nodded hesitantly. What’s the catch? She wondered. Maybe he would make her stay still for a punishment to earn having the gag off. Maybe he was just asking to tell her no. After all, she had bitten his other pet. 

Arron hid behind Abel cautiously. She still had that dangerous look in her eyes and he didn’t want to be in her way.

Abel reached over to unbuckle the device but stopped. "On one condition. Don't bite or burn me, or I'll make sure you regret it. I'm sure that hellfire can even burn the likes of you."

 Arson’s eyes cut towards Arron, a sudden realization, then an angry gleam in her eyes was directed at him. She eyed Abel’s hand near her face, trying hard not to flinch or dart away. 

 Arron gulped nervously, and his tail quivered, full of worry. Was he supposed to be able to protect Abel and himself from her? Abel slowly unbuckled the muzzle and let it fall once more. "I am not here to hurt you Arson, know that."

Arson darted away from him and back into a corner, sitting down with her back against the wall, eyes never leaving Abel.

"Do you know why I even bought you?" Abel started, "Because the person who wanted you here is currently waiting for me with a bleeding hand." 

 “You bought a pet for a pet?” She growled again, pulling her knees close to her chest and letting little sparks dance in her mouth.

"No, and you know that it isn't true. Occuldous saw you were in distress and wanted to help. He's not my pet, and neither is Arron, and neither are you."

“Then what am I for? Or what do you have planned? You can’t set me free, I’d never survive. I’m not any good for a house pet or just to live around people.” She grumbled in a distrustful voice. “You threatened to burn me with hellfire, you’re at least capable of v-violence.” She twitched, shutting her eyes tightly and pressing the heel of her palms against them. A sharp pain shot through her head and she felt the uncontrollable fear rising up in her again. “No no no.” She muttered with a growl. 

"I threatened to burn you if you tried to hurt me or anyone else in this house….again." Abel raised an eyebrow. This one was a real piece of work. "Arron, go and give Occie some company, make sure his cut isn't getting worse." 

Arron nodded and left quickly. He didn’t want to be around Arson any more than he had to be, but Arson growled at the sudden movement across the room, her eyes wide open and darting wildly around the room. She couldn’t calm down, her fear just kept compounding itself, driving her into a frenzy. 

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired?" Abel looked at her with kinder eyes as his face softened. "Would you prefer a shower?" 

 Arson growled at his voice, curling up on herself. Stay still, then he’ll go away and I can calm down. Go away! I know I’m trapped here, go away now! If you keep pushing me, I will bite you. 

 Meanwhile, Occuldous leaned his head on Arron, closing his eyes. He was quickly getting stressed out being in the bathroom but he was still doing his very best to be good.

"No talking then? Ok. Then you can just stay in the guest bedroom so you can calm down." The angel stood up and gripped the leash. 

 She lunged at him when he came towards her. “Go away! Don’t touch me!” She snarled, sparks flying from her mouth.

"Ok, I won't touch you." Abel backed off a bit. "But I want you to go to the guest room. Chop chop." 

 She darted towards the room, keeping an eye on him the whole time, while Abel followed her to the door. "I'm going to close the door, when you're ready to come out, I'll get you lunch." Abel grabbed the doorknob gently, and she went to the opposite side of the room as she resumed her huddled posture in the corner.

Abel turned to the bathroom and walked in to see Occuldous shaking a bit as Arron held him tightly. "Are you ok Occie?"

Occuldous shook his head. “Scared.” He signed, leaning against his friend’s shoulder. He gestured at the tub and huddled closer to Arron. “Being good. Scared.”  His injured hand had stopped bleeding but it was swollen and he had a harder time forming the correct signs than usual. 

"Hey there starlight, let's get to work on that hand ok?" Abel crouched down in front of the boy with the med-kit in hand. "Can I see it? After I get you bandaged up I'll make you lunch, does that sound good?" 

 He nodded and held out his hand for Abel to fix up ad he held onto Arron’s tightly with his other, waiting for the sting of the disinfectant.

"I'll go slow," Abel dampened the cloth with the alcohol and gently slid it across the back of the boy's hand. "I'm sorry bud, it was my fault this happened." 

 He shook his head. It wasn’t Abel’s fault, he hadn’t made her do it. Occuldous had scared her, it was his own fault. The cold stinging made him wince and he pressed his face against Arron again.

"You're doing so well little one, let's get this bandaged up. I don't think you'll be able to sign for a day or two though." Abel took the gauze and bandages, they were dry, but soft and stretchy. "Is that ok?"

 He nodded, frowning a little, but obedient. He was still very obedient even as he got more comfortable around Abel.

"Good boy," Abel patted Occuldous's head after he wrapped the hand tightly, but not uncomfortably. "What would you like for lunch?" 

  Occuldous leaned his head on Arron’s, ‘Ice cream?’  He questioned, obeying the request to not sign for a few days, and hoping Arron would relay his request.

There was a clattering in the kitchen. Arson had snuck out of the guest room when she calmed down and was trying to leverage the rings apart so she could pull them out of her horns. She sat with her back against the cabinet, struggling with the screwdriver against her horns, whimpering painfully as the holes dripped blood onto the floor. Maybe, maybe if i get these out it’ll stop. It’ll stop hurting and the fear will stop, I’ll be able to fight. I have to get these out. She ripped one ring out, cracking the tip of her horn as she did so, causing blood to run down her face.

"Arson! What the hell are you doing!?" Abel stomped over as he saw the dripping blood all over the floor. "You're hurting yourself!" Another hand, it was reaching for the screwdriver, she was in trouble, for sure, she was going to be hurt, beaten, drowned, kept in the dark!

  No! Don’t touch me! She snapped at the hand, throwing the screwdriver as far from herself as possible. She pulled her arms over her head, trying to keep him away from her horns and face. 

She was waiting. To be hurt. To get yelled at. To be used. 

But nothing came.

Instead, the angel visibly softened, he seemed calm. Arson looked up cautiously, still guarding her bloodied face with her arms. 

What was the angel doing? Was he waiting for her to look at him, to watch what he was going to do to her? Why was he waiting? The angel moved again, crouching in front of her, trying to meet her eyes. 

"Arson, how about I help you get those chains off? Will you let me? I promise I won't hurt you, as long as you don't hurt me." Abel's words dripped out of his mouth like silk or possibly sweet honey. They were calming. 

 She eyed him hesitantly and shook her head. She didn’t want him near her horns or face. She had let the other masters near her head, she had been tired and hurting and it had been easier to just let them. That’s when this unstoppable, uncontrollable fear had started, they had done something when they touched her head, damaged something. Arson wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 

"Arson, do you know what a Starwitch is?" Abel stopped crouching and instead sit down next to her against the cabinet, not bothering to face the quivering girl as he talked. "Do you know what they do?"

 She leaned away from him so he couldn’t touch her. “Pets.” She whispered, tense, waiting for him to move closer or try to hit her. 

"No silly, I meant their powers." 

She shook her head slightly. “Perform for humans. Heal sometimes.”

"Mmhm, heal. Did you ever stop to think about what Occuldous was trying to do?" Abel now looked at her, with a thoughtful look, not a look of anger. 

 “Touch.” She growled softly. She didn’t trust any of them enough to believe they were trying to help her.

"How about I walk you through taking those nasty chains off? I bet it would feel way better huh?" 

 She nodded cautiously. “Hurts alot.”

"Ok, go grab the screwdriver again and I'll walk you through right here." The angel smiled, smiled? Why isn't he like the others? Hurting her? She was his pet, pets need to be hurt to be good. Maybe he smiled when he was upset? No, he didn’t look upset. Why is this so wrong, it’s all so wrong! If he was mean, she could bite him and fight and she wouldn’t feel bad, but his calm and quiet behavior put her on edge. Was he planning something bad? Masters were never this nice. She retrieved the screwdriver and sat several feet away from him, still watching him. 

"Good! You're doing good!" Abel stood up, but not moving closer. "Ok, now feel your horns, do you feel any weird bumps or holes on the rings?"

 She felt the rings carefully and nodded. They were welded with a weak bit of steel keeping them closed.

"Ok, now carefully slip the end of the screwdriver against the edge of the bump. Go slowly, be patient, it'll pop out soon." 

 She followed his instructions, and sure enough the ring popped open and she slid it off her horn. That hole started bleeding too, but she moved on, quickly removing the 4 other rings on that horn.

"Good job! You did amazing Arson!" Abel smiled. "You're bleeding a bit though. Do you want help with bandaging up? I'm sure Occuldous or Arron would be eager to help you." He opened the cupboard next to him and produced a smaller med kit than the one in the bedroom, but just as effective. 

 She shook her head and started trying to get the rings out of her other horn. But her hands were shaking dangerously, especially with a tool so close to her face and head. She was determined, though, that she would get all the rings out before Abel could change his mind. 

"Woah there, slow down Arson, take your time with it. I don't want you to slip and break your horn off."

 She eyed him and worked quicker, managing pull one off, and sure enough, taking a chunk out of her horn with it. She whimpered and dropped the screwdriver, gripping the bleeding section in her hands tightly. It was a similar pain to having a finger or toenail ripped off, sharp and throbbing.

A sigh from the angel, and he tossed the medkit over to the girl. "You don't learn, do you? I'll be making lunch soon, I expect all that blood to be cleaned up before I come back. It stains.”

 She darted away when he tossed the medkit at her, expecting it to hit her. She eyed it and him for a moment before picking it up and darting back to the guest room. Another sigh from Abel, before going back to the bathroom to check on his boys. 

"Naptime little ones, let's get you two to bed." 

 Occuldous nodded and got up carefully as Arron walked with him to Abel's room. He slept next to Arron almost every night, his warmth calming him through the nightmares. They curled up side by side under the light blanket, Occuldous’ head on his friend’s chest, careful not to poke him with his horns.

"Nini Occie, sleep ok?" Arron yawned and closed his eyes, clutching Quin and the starwitch's hand as he drifted off. 

 Occuldous nodded a little and squeezed his hand back. He was asleep in minutes. 

Arson, meanwhile, had wrapped her horns clumsily with gauze and crawled under the bed, exhausted. She hid as far under the bed as she could and passed out.

(Tag group; @imagination1reality0 @haro-whumps @0idril0 @whumping-every-day @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @quirkykayleetam @painisneat Let me know anyone i missed!!!!)

[brajeshupadhyay]

A man who became manic after being infected with coronavirus got so delirious he confessed to his wife that he used to have sex with men, doctors have revealed.  The unidentified 41-year-old, who was treated at St Thomas’ Hospital in London, also became ‘highly aroused’ and uninhibited, questioning and inappropriately touching nurses tasked with treating him. He also became obsessed with ‘grandiose ideas’ and tried to smear water on fellow patients as if he were baptising them, medics said in a bizarre case report. The man was sick with a cough and fever for 10 days before he ended up in hospital and tested positive for Covid-19, which doctors believe triggered unusual symptoms. He eventually had to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act because he became so out of control. Describing the experience in his own words after recovering as ‘fascinating’, the man said he thought he was ‘trying to help the doctors as much as I could’. He added: ‘I began to think that I was part of a TV show, in which I was sent back from the future to save the NHS, and I was curious to see how this would end.’   The doctors said it was possible his episode was the first sign of a condition such as bipolar disorder — but did not diagnose him with that and instead put it down to the coronavirus despite admitting they can’t prove it for certain. One mental health expert told MailOnline it is well documented that immune system reactions can affect the brain and trigger mania such as what the man suffered, calling his episode ‘bizarre but not extreme’. There is growing evidence that Covid-19 can affect the brain and nervous system in various ways, the most common of which is losing the sense of smell and taste.  There is growing evidence that the coronavirus, and the body’s immune response to it, can affect the brain and trigger mental health symptoms (stock image of a brain scan)  Writing in the BMJ Case Reports medical journal, Dr Jamie Mawhinney and colleagues said: ‘This is, to the best of our knowledge, the first report of an acute episode of mania or psychosis as a result of SARS-CoV-2 infection.’ The man went to A&E in the early hours of the morning at the London hospital where Prime Minister Boris Johnson was treated for Covid-19.  He had woken in the middle of the night feeling like his ‘brain was racing’ and telling his wife he thought he would die, doctors reported. He had told his wife about sex he had had with men, ‘mostly’ before they were married, which she had never heard him talk about before. The man also confessed to other ‘uncharacteristic’ sexual behaviours and became uninhibited and acted inappropriately while in the hospital.  In the report the doctors said: ‘He was loud and highly aroused with sexual disinhibition and overfamiliar behaviour, inappropriately questioning and touching members of staff.  ‘His speech was pressured, and his mood subjectively and objectively elevated.  ‘His thoughts were grandiose with persecutory elements, and he had persistent strong religious ideas, manifestations of which included attempts to anoint fellow patients with water.  ‘He also obsessively wrote down every personal interaction and bodily sensation. He said he found this experience “liberating”.’ The man’s behaviour became so uncontrollable he had to be sedated and was transferred to intensive care and supported with ventilation. Investigations confirmed that he was positive for SARS-CoV-2 – the virus which causes Covid-19 – but the virus was not found in his spinal fluid, which would have proved it was in his central nervous system and could have travelled to the brain. After 24 hours on ventilation, he was moved to a ward where his coronavirus symptoms lessened, but mental state remained abnormal. COVID-19 CAUSES DELIRIUM AND STROKE IN ‘HIGHER THAN EXPECTED’ PATIENTS  Infection with the coronavirus can cause delirium, stroke and nerve damage in ‘a higher than expected number of patients’, a study has found. Experts from University College London have reported a ‘concerning increase’ amid the pandemic of a rare brain inflammation known to be triggered by viral infections. Typically seen in children, acute disseminated encephalomyelitis — or ‘ADEM’, for short — affects the both the brain and spinal cord. The condition — which can follow on from minor infections such as colds — sees immune cells activated to attack the fatty protective coating that covers nerves. The researchers have warned that clinicians need to be aware of the risk of neurological effects to help early diagnoses and improve patient outcomes. ‘We identified a higher than expected number of people with neurological conditions such as brain inflammation,’ said paper author and consultant neurologist Michael Zandi of the University College London. The appearance of these conditions, he added, ‘did not always correlate with the severity of respiratory symptoms.’ ‘We should be vigilant and look out for these complications in people who have had COVID-19.’ ‘Whether we will see an epidemic on a large scale of brain damage linked to the pandemic — perhaps similar to the encephalitis lethargica outbreak in the 1920s and 1930s after the 1918 influenza pandemic — remains to be seen.’ The researchers also found that other neurobiological complications — including delirium, stroke and nerve damage — appear to be associated with coronavirus. In their study, Dr Zandi and colleagues studied 43 patients — aged from 16-85 — with both neurological symptoms and either confirmed or suspected COVID-19 that were treated at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery in London. According to the researchers, many of the patients did not experience any of the respiratory symptoms often associated with the coronavirus. Among the cohort, the team identified 10 cases of temporary brain dysfunction with delirium, eight cases of strokes and eight cases with nerve damage. There were also 12 cases of brain inflammation — with nine of such patients being diagnosed with ADEM. Under normal circumstances, the London-based team said that they would only see around one adult patient with ADEM per month, on average — but that this figure has increased to at least one patient per week amid the pandemic.  Further studies are needed to identify exactly why some COVID-19 patients are developing neurological complications, the researchers concluded. ‘By day eight, his behaviour had escalated further culminating in a security call and emergency sedation for the safety of himself, the ward staff and other patients,’ the report said.   Psychiatric assessment found features consistent with acute mania – a state of extreme energy and arousal which can be euphoric but lead to violence – and he was detained under the Mental Health Act.   Mania is often conceived as a mirror image to depression, with the two moods associated with bipolar disorder.  The man was transferred to an psychiatric hospital and commenced on regular olanzapine – used to treat schizophrenia and certain types of bipolar disorder. Twelve days after being sectioned, the patient’s mania finally subsided and he was discharged. Reflecting on his experience, the man said: ‘I was taken to hospital on the 4th April with what I would describe as the worst headache of my life. At this time, I had been suffering with the symptoms of Covid-19 for over a week. ‘I was in hospital for a total of 20 days with psychosis and mania, which I experienced as fascinating.  ‘This may seem strange from an outside perspective, but I was, in my mania, trying to help the doctors as much as I could, while at the same time trying to make sense of my condition. ‘For my family and friends it was frightening. Luckily, they had a lot of support from each other, and from the great team of doctors at St. Thomas hospital.’ On follow-up, doctors revealed the man was slowly being weaned off antipsychotics while his wife said he is now back to ‘his baseline level of function’. The doctors said they couldn’t rule out the first manic episode of bipolar disorder – which the patient’s sister had been diagnosed with previously.  But it was clear the drastic changes in behaviours started at the same time as his tell-tale coronavirus symptoms. Professor Anthony S. David, director at the University College London Institute of Mental Health and author of ‘Into the Abyss: a neuropsychiatrists notes on troubled minds’, told MailOnline the man’s condition was ‘bizarre but actually not so extreme’ He said: ‘Psychiatrists talk about hypomania – a mild form of mania with elevated mood and feeling “high” – but mania proper includes delusions, typically grandiose, e.g. that one is god or has special powers, talking very fast, spending money and being disinhibited sexually. So this is what mania looks like. ‘Mania can be triggered by stress, lack of sleep, physical illness, drugs etc – but you have to have a predisposition. This man’s family history is probably relevant.’ He said that doctors are seeing growing numbers of neurological symptoms of Covid-19, but that they usually seemed to be caused by the immune system, rather than the virus itself getting into the brain – although this was possible, too. Professor David added: ‘Fever on its own disrupts thinking and could be enough to tip someone over into mania, if they were predisposed. A change in sleep-wake cycle is another cause.  ‘The immune system can affect the brain – that is why we all feel generally yuck when we have an infection, even if the infection is in another part of the body. Inflammatory chemicals and cells circulate and some can affect the brain.  ‘The more specific effect – which is rare but well recognised following other viruses – is that an immune response is triggered and the antibodies end up attacking the person’s brain in an effort to kill the virus – sort of “collateral damage”.  ‘Depending where the damage is concentrated, this can cause delusions as well as affecting consciousness, memory etcetera.’ He said some medications being used to treat coronavirus, such as steroids, are known to cause mania and psychosis. The man is not known to have been receiving treatment before his episode began, however.        Doctors pointed out Covid-19 manifests in a number of ways affecting multiple systems – including the central nervous system (CNS). The coronavirus enters human cells by latching onto ACE-2 receptors on the surface. Although the lungs are the key site for expressing ACE-2 in the body, it is also found in endothelial cells in the brain. This may provide a route into the CNS.  Previous reports have linked SARS-CoV-2 in the development of viral encephalitis – inflammation of the brain causing delirium, changes in personality and confusion. Yesterday University College London revealed study findings that the coronavirus can cause delirium, stroke and nerve damage in ‘a higher than expected number of patients’. Experts from University College London have reported a ‘concerning increase’ amid the pandemic of a rare brain inflammation known to be triggered by viral infections. Of the patients they studied with altered brain function, none had detectable levels of the coronavirus in the brain or spinal fluid – much like the 41-year-old case report. This, they explained, suggests that the virus did not directly cause the neurological symptoms and that some complications of COVID-19 ‘might come from [one’s] immune response, rather than the virus itself.’  They said it ‘remains to be seen’ if the pandemic causes an epidemic of brain damage.  The post Delirious coronavirus-infected man confesses to his wife that he used to have sex with men appeared first on Shri Times.

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/07/delirious-coronavirus-infected-man.html

[ladybalem]

Hollywood - a Confession about Eddie Kreezer

Yayo! Here it is another request successfully delivered! (or so I hope, lol) I need to confess I love writing on Eddie Kreezer, it's so much fun, although he's actually a jerk. Well, maybe it's precisely because of this that it's so fun, lol. Check the request: https://ladybalem.tumblr.com/post/183522911628/one-imagine-where-you-are-from-the-city-and-your And here we go! * * *          (***) had been driving through the north American roads for many days now. To decide to trip from New York to Los Angeles, all alone and in a car, it's an  adventure, let's stipulate. To cross the whole country and, more than that, a whole continent, from east to west, isn't an easy task. When (***) decided to do this, she knew it wouldn't be easy, but she wanted to see Hollywood, she wanted to know the place where all dreams are manufactured, she wanted to know the most magical place in the world, cause it had been her dream for her whole life. So, as soon as she had the opportunity, (***) left New York, where she had been born and lived her entire life to leave tacking to the west coast, tacking to California. What she couldn't expect it was that, before reaching her destination, that it was the fantasies world, she would find a sampler of the most raw of realities.                    Going through Kansas, some  kilometers after the small city of Hays, leading into Denver, Colorado, in the middle of nowhere, (***)'s car broke. Just broke down. It wasn't gasoline missing, not even water, not even oil or anything else, even because she had been quite worried and heedful to all of these details. That is, it wasn't nothing that it could be predictable, nothing to which she could control. The uncontrollable, something that (***) always feared a lot, was finally showing itself to her in her dream trip.          As soon as her car simply choked and after some few meters just stopped giving no sign that it would restart again, almost in despair (***) looked around, seeing not even a single living being in the distance. The road was desert and the sun was starting to show that it was about to descend into the west, ceding place to the night, and not knowing very well what to do, she opened the door, getting out of the vehicle, lifting up the engine's hood. Nothing. Apparently nothing wrong. Any way, she didn't knew a thing about engines. It was there a single thing to be done: To wait for someone to come along the road, and ask for help.          It was already end of summer but the sun it was still scalding, and inside the car it was like a real oven, so the new yorker girl searched for the shade under a solitaire tree that grew a bit aside the road, letting the car hood lifted so the people would see she was in need of help. And this way (***) sat under the tree, looking into the nothing and awaiting for a car to make its appearance. It passed many hours and nothing, and (***) began to really fear that no one would come and she would have to spend the night right there, and it was an idea that really scared her. It was already getting dark when she returned to the car, turning on the emergency lights, leaving it with its doors opened so its interior could refresh and she came back to stand next the tree, this time sitting on a stone. And it passed hours until she finally could see a pair of headlights to arise in the distance.          Soon the white pick-up truck appeared, lifting a cloud of dust behind itself, and (***) got up from where she was, anxiously. But the pick-up didn't stop. It just passed by her car having not even diminished its speed, simply going ahead, and (***) jumped to the dirt of the road, shaking her arms in the air just like if gotten crazy as crying for help, hoping she would be seen. And she was. Through the rear mirror the truck's driver saw her shaking her arms up, and pulling a deep drag of his cigarette he thought for a second before to stop and start the reverse gear. Smiling relieved as she was seeing the pick-up to come back, (***) coughed a bit because of the dust, rubbing her eyes as the pick-up stopped towards her.          - Please! My car is broken, and I've been left here for hours! Do you know something about engines? I need help! - still rubbing her eyes she was talking in a hurry, having not even still looked to the driver through the opened window right in front of her. And when (***) finally managed to open her eyes and look at him, it was swallowing that she saw right before her a quite attractive man around 25 years old, green eyes and full lips that was smiling openly, peacefully smoking while looking at her and patiently waiting for her to stop, when he told:          - It may be, I know a little, yeah. Where's your car? - the man asked her still smiling, and feeling confused (***) pointed at the car that was left right back there.          In an extremely sympathetic way the unknown man smiled, opening the door and getting out of the pick-up truck as soon as he took a flashlight from inside the glove compartment. And as he got down to the road, (***) could see how he was tall and lean, but of a defined leanness, and she couldn't avoid to notice how he limped with his right leg, thinking within herself that he had surely been into some sort of heavy accident. Arranging on his head to the black cowboy hat he wore, the unknown man seemed to study attentively to her car's engine under the flashlight with his cigarette balancing at the corner of his lips lábios and an attentive expression, until finally to give a step back, lowering the car hood.          - Well, sweetheart, there's nothing I can do. Your car will need to be towed. The engines just stopped working.          Suddenly frightened (***) looked at the unknown man with supplicant eyes:          - But what am I going to do? I just can't spent the night right here!          - And you won't, sweetheart - the man smiled, finishing his cigarette and throwing the tip away - From a distance we can notice you're a lady, a family girl, you can't spend the night on the road like this. I'll take you in my truck to a motel to which I know. There, you can spend the night fully protected and, tomorrow morning, you make a call to the tow truck - and he smiled once again - Take your things and come - and without anything more he just turned her his back and retirned to his pick-up, limping tranquilly.          - But wait... I not even know you - she said.          - I'm Eddie - he said, smiling and taking off his hat, courteously introducing himself.          Being still suspicious, (***) gave the unknown man a look. A name it didn't mean nothing, he could be just lying. Never in New York she would get into an unknown man's car... But there it wasn't New York, she thought. He was just a hick. What evil could she do to her? It was just a hitchhike to the motel and nothing more. And it was an emergency.          - Ok - she said - I'll take it. *          As soon as they entered the roadside motel, at the reception (***) looked around suspiciously. It there was something wrong in the air, but something to which she couldn't precise what it was.          - Here, my friend - Eddie said to the receptionist, an old man wearing a white shirt still dirty from the sauce of the midday lunch - A room for me and another for my respectable (***), please.          - Unfortunately he have a single room available by now - the old man responded, and suddenly (***) turned herself to the key's board, seeing that it was at least ten keychains hanging there.          - But and what about all of these keys? - she asked - It there are a lot of available rooms, yes.          - They're all reserved - the man answered without looking her in her face, and it was obvious he was lying, (***) just couldn't know why.          - I would tranquilly cede the room for you, miss - Eddie said - if it there was another motel in these environments, but it there's not, in many kilometers from here. So, I guess we'll have to share it.          - I won't sleep at the same room than an unknown man - she said quickly, shaking her head.          - The best way to know someone is to sleep with them, don't you never hear it before, (***) darlin'? - Eddie winked at her with a smile before turning into the counter and take the bedroom's key, discretely giving to the old man a well rolled note of 50 dollars, without that (***) could notice, just taking his way upstairs and leaving her behind.          For an instant (***) looked around, holding her purse close to her tightly. She had no way to go away, she had no way to get into another motel not even how to get back to her own car, and she found herself in a dead end. And calling herself crazy, (***) finally turned and started to go upstairs quickly, going after Eddie.          He had left the bedroom door opened, and apprehensively (***) spied to the inside, noticing with displease that it there was just a large couple bed right in the middle of the room. And swallowing she gave a step to the side as she heard a noise coming from the bathroom, opening her eyes wide as she saw Eddie coming from inside there already shirtless and in barefoot, wearing only his tight jeans and nothing more.          - Come, sweetheart, come in, feel yourself at home. The bed is large enough for the two of us, and I promise I won't do not anything to which you don't want - he said while taking his belt off, (***)'s eyes following the movements of his hands in a tense way.          - Eddie, I didn't know we would stay at the same bedroom, or I wouldn't have accepted to come - the girl said under a breath, still holding her purse close and not managing to get out from place.          - And would you stay all alone in the road in the middle of the night left to the hazard to be attacked by an insane one? No, darlin'. Here you'll be safe - he said seriously, coming back to the bathroom and leaving the door open, and soon she could hear he was peeing - Of course you would come, in a way or another.          Slowly (***) entered in the bedroom, leaving her purse on the bed stand, completely tense sitting at the edge of the bed, and as Eddie came out of the bathroom again, he smiled at her, going into the exit door and closing it.          - Go prepare yourself to sleep - he said - Feel at ease. Here it mustn't be like the places to which you're used in New York, but you can get surprised.          - Are we going to sleep? - she asked, feeling not quite sure.          - Scout's word - Eddie responded. *          (***) delayed a lot in the bathroom, under locked door. Actually, she was afraid of getting out from there. But, at the end, she thought, what Eddie could do against her? It would be an hypocrisy she behaving like a scared little virgin girl, a thing that she wasn't for a long time now, as it would be as well to say that the cowboy wasn't attractive, because he was. When he had got out shirtless from the bathroom (***) just couldn't not notice his defined abs. And after all, maybe he was just only a hick guy, who would not even try anything, and in case of him trying she would just say no. He wouldn't be crazy to attack her in a place in where she could cry for help. And believing this way it was that (***) finally got out from her hiding place. There he was, lying on the bed, smoking a cigarette and watching tv, opening a smile as soon as he saw the door being opened.          - Sweetheart, I was thinking you would sleep inside there. It just wouldn't be comfortable at all.          (***) tried to smile, but the smile came out so half-hearted as it could be, and sitting at the edge of the bed with her back turned at him  the girl awaited for a while before to bend over and start taking her shoes off.          - Will you sleep all dressed this way? Don't you have a nightgown? - Eddie asked, and still with her back turned to him she answered with another question, from which she quickly got regretful:          - And do you always sleep wearing jeans?          - I didn't take it off to don't be impolite to you, but I can take it off, if you don't mind, (***).          - But I do - she said quickly, laying down still with her back turned to him and turning off the bedside light at her side - And, if you could to turn off the tv before falling asleep, I would be thankful. Tomorrow morning I'll call the tow, thank you very much for the hitchhike - she said mechanically - And be at ease, cause I insist on paying half the price of the bedroom.          - I insist on paying it for whole, I know how to be a gentleman.          Only breathing, (***) stayed there, with eyes open, the seconds seeming like minutes and these like hours, until Eddie finally to move over the bed, lifting himself up over an elbow into the way of her back, taking still some more time to finally take a handful of her hair and lead it into his nose, breathing in its perfume. Closing and tightening her eyes (***) got struck into the dilemma of asking what the hell he was doing or not, trembling as she felt his hand to ground on her hips, when she decided to talk:          - Eddie... What are you doing?          - I can't believe that in New York you don't know what's it - he laughed.          - I didn't come here for it, Eddie - (***) said, but having not much conviction in her voice, and as he noticed it, Eddie laughed, his large hand sliding down along of her thigh.          - And then you say the hick here it's me? - he laughed - You came into a motel's room to lie in a bed besides a man and will you tell me that you don't want it?          - Eddie... I'm going to scream.          - Do this. I love screaming women - he said, this time seriously, using the hand on her thigh to make her to turn and lie on her back with a single and quick movement, with agility getting atop of her, who panted in fright.          - Eddie... Really, I'm going to scream!          - I just can't wait for the moment that you'll start to scream, darlin' - he said, having a weird smile on his face as he grabbed both of her wrists, lifting her arms over her head, then descending upon her neck hungrily, biting and sucking, (***) feeling her heart to discharge and her breathing became cut - Come, I'm waiting.          - You're crazy - (***) said with a panting voice, trembling under his weight over her.          - And aren't you? - and leaving her arms, to which (***) obediently kept at the same place, Eddie quickly led both hands to the jeans he wore, opening his pants quickly before to pull her dress up and ripe off her panties, once again grabbing her wrists - You didn't think I was helping you for nothing, don't you? Or are the city girls so ingenuous like this, sweetheart?          - You are crazy!          - But you find me exciting, don't you? I excite you.          Closing her eyes (***) moaned when Eddie finally kissed her, her legs automatically spreading apart for him, her hips arching up into his. It was true. He excited her. It there was no way to deny it, it was a fact. *          The following morning (***) didn't call the tow truck. She left her car where it was, she left behind her plans of visiting Hollywood, she abandoned everything she had been before having met him. And she continued on her way with Eddie Kreezer.         * * ****************************** MY CONFESSION TO PRIOR PHILIP:       So, my present day's confession goes as it follows: As a big city girl, I'm going to say that, no, we're not ingenuous, no... But crazy people can be found everywhere, not only in the big cities. Cause, isn't, let's stipulate that to abandon everything to go along this boy it's to be crazy, prior, like, VERY crazy. Wait until she has the surprise of seeing the handsome causing confusion at the bar. Starting fights. Breaking everything around. Drinking it all. Sniffing it all too, cause everyone knows he sniffs it, prior, what an absurd. Wait until her seeing him spanking the other boys to death. Wait until he sells her in payment of coke debts. Yeah, my love, then the person will learn in the worst way that you shouldn't take hitchhiking from strangers, just like grandma used to say. For the most pretty handsome the driver may be. What, prior? Am I today quite moralist? In wise of passing forward the morals of the story, I shall really be. Cause every story has a moral and this one's is: Listen to what your grandma used to say. And don't make crazy things. Like, stay in New York. And be a good girl. It's that, children. AMEN, LORD BALEM!

[intellectualshield]

spencer’s natal chart information. 

The Sun

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality, and outward-shining creative energy.

                                          THE SUN IS IN SCORPIO

Scorpios are known for their intensity. They are determined folk that absolutely throw themselves into whatever they do -- but getting them to commit to something is rarely an easy task. In fact, it's better not to even try to "get them" to do anything. Solar Scorpios absolutely have their own mind. And, their primary motivation is unlikely to be prestige (like their Capricorn friends), or even authority (Leos can have that, too)--it's real power. Their power can absolutely be of the "behind the scenes" variety, just as long as they have it.

To others, Scorpios seem to have plenty of willpower. They probably do. Scorpios do know what they want, and they won't go out and grab it at the wrong moment. They simply sit back, watch (quite expertly), and then get it only when the moment is just right. This apparent patience is simply their powerful skills at strategy at work. Scorpio isn't afraid of getting their hands (their bodies, their minds) dirty. The darker side of life intrigues them, and they're always ready to investigate.

Scorpios simply never give up. They have tremendous staying power. They're not in the slightest intimidated by anybody or anything. Confrontations are not a problem. In fact, talk to any Scorpio about their lives, and you'll probably be in awe at all they've gone through. Trauma seems to follow them wherever they go. When Scorpio learns optimism, instead of expecting the worst, they'll find that they possess amazing regenerative powers -- the power to heal, create, and transform.

Short description:

Physical energy and courage. Strong passions. Regeneration and improvement. Strong sexual powers.

Potential issues: He is suspicious, defiant, extremist; he is sometimes vindictive.

                                        SCORPIO WITH ASCENDANT CAPRICORN

Sun in X: The Sun is in the tenth house

The urge to work toward a goal, for success and accomplishment, and/or for power is part of your make-up. You are uncomfortable in any position in which you must "take orders" from someone else. Recognize your ambitions and your need for authority without going overboard. Seek out a career that allows you to manage, rather than be managed, if possible. It is crucial that you accept the part of you that is ambitious, but take pains not to over-identify with an image that is not really you! Successful career is guaranteed, but may sometimes come late.

269 Sextile between the Sun and Mars

You are enterprising and have powerful stores of energy that you can draw upon when needed. You respond to problems or challenges with a spirited and enthusiastic confidence that is admirable. You are naturally competitive, and this trait is generally well-received by others simply because it is unforced, unaffected, and sincere. You truly believe in fair play, and you seem to be in love with life. When you are expressing competitiveness and courage, it's easy for others to smile and accept these traits as positive ones rather than being rubbed the wrong way. You have good physical vitality. Although competitive, you are not naturally combative. You may enjoy sports or games that are competitive, but not violent. Breaking the rules of a competitive game is particularly upsetting to you. You are more able than most to control your desires, aggressions, and instincts. You know how to be fair, and you expect others to be fair. As such, sneaky behaviors, uncontrolled impulses, violence, and rage are offensive to you.

The Moon

The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. The Moon represents the emotions, and the Moon sign shows how a person expresses themselves when at home, at ease, and comfortable.

                                      THE MOON IS IN SCORPIO

While others may find security and comfort in material things, Moon in Scorpio people seek out emotional intensity. No matter what, there is something very intense about Lunar Scorpios. They are diggers when it comes to the world of emotion--they can see beyond facades and cut right to the core of a person. This ability to "see" what isn't obvious to the rest of the world can be intimidating to others or wildly attractive, depending on the audience.

Their deep-seated need for transformation and rebirth can manifest itself in the lives of Lunar Scorpios in different ways. Most have powerful, emotionally intense lives. Some feel like it is beyond their control -- these natives seem to attract emotional upheaval, and their lives appear to consist of plenty of dramatic ups and downs. However, when accepted as an emotional need, rebirth and change doesn't need to be so dramatic and overwhelming. In some way or the other, Moon in Scorpio natives seek out intense experiences. If their lives are regular in any way, there can be an unconscious need to test their own strength and stir up emotional excitement. Self-awareness and acceptance is probably the best way to handle this deep need for emotional drama.

Doing things halfway or having meaningless relationships simply doesn't fulfill them. Lunar Scorpios want all or nothing. Moon in Scorpio people often have a strong fear of betrayal. They seek out commitment, and feel the need for a partner to give up something for them. Some will put the people they love through a series of tests, and these are not always conscious. Their apparent suspicion can be trying for the people who love them. However, once committed, Moon in Scorpio people can be the most loyal and protective partners around. Even the shy ones have enormous presence. Their lives are emotion-driven, yet many Moon in Scorpio natives spend a lot of time controlling and mastering their emotions. Their intuition is enormous, although it is sometimes self-serving.

Moon in Scorpio people radiate strength. Even in the absence of experience, they seem to "just know" things. It would be difficult to shock or scare away Lunar Scorpios in the face of emotional honesty and power. Some people instinctively want to lean on them, and other less brave folk run a little scared. Lunar Scorpios have exceptional "radar" that allows them to size up a situation--and a person--quickly and expertly. This ability to understand human motivation and nature can be too close for comfort for some, and enormously comforting for others. Many Lunar Scorpios are intelligent and astute. Those that use their enormous powers for intimacy and honesty are the happiest, and they make the most interesting and rewarding friends and lovers.

Short description:

Courageous, brave, independent, not a fearful nature. He is attracted to sensual erotic partners.

Potential issues: excesses of pleasures, difficulty letting go.

Moon in X: The Moon is in the tenth house

Changes of situation. He is frightened of getting old and tends to hark back to the past. Perhaps more strongly influenced by the father. Success often due to help from women.

This position of the Moon indicates an emotional need for recognition, popularity, acknowledgement, and achievement. You can be quite charismatic. You are at your emotional best when you lead a structured and responsible life, but it can take time to get there. You may change your goals and ambitions, and/or your profession frequently in an attempt to find the perfect fit. You may worry about living up to your image, or the expectations of your family. Decisions may be too emotionally biased, or you might act on emotional whims far too often. Learning to set your own heartfelt goals is the challenge here, as it is unlikely you will find true happiness if you follow or adopt the expectations of others, which you are especially sensitive to. You can take on a nurturing or managerial role, quickly adapting to trends.

49 Sextile between the Moon and Ascendant

He has a good influence on the family, and the family usually gives back, loving and helping in return. He likes travelling, movement, change. He likes contact. Open to other people. Very sensitive, observant, adaptable, likable, and somewhat of a chameleon.

Mercury

Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.

                                                   MERCURY IS IN LIBRA

Usually quite diplomatic and tactful, he evaluates and weighs things up endlessly, often to the point of indecisiveness. Of good judgment, he expresses himself clearly. Before coming to an opinion on a subject, he listens to the opinions offered by various people and can compare them before making up his own mind. Mental affinity in his relationships is paramount. He is good at compromising and always tries to put himself in others' shoes. Some mental laziness.

Mercury in IX: Mercury is in the ninth house

His thirst for knowledge is never satisfied. He is mentally active. He may undertake exhaustive studies, always studying for pleasure. Can very much enjoy journeys to faraway places, and may go to live abroad.

You are eternally curious and hunger for knowledge. You enjoy studying and learning, and do it not because you have to, but because you want to. You enjoy exchanging ideas and personal philosophies with others. You can be especially buoyant, enthusiastic, and even inspiring in your communications. While you may not pay enough attention to details, you are skilled at finding a quick solution to problems. You readily see the bigger picture and enjoy sharing your opinions and ideas. You get off on how information affects people's lives, and you take great pleasure in learning that something you have shared or taught has inspired others to take action, experience something new, or make changes in their lives. Some of you might be too quick to offer advice, however, that might be lacking in thoroughness and practicality, or that you yourself don't follow.

95 Sextile between Mercury - Venus

He looks on the bright side of life. He is gay, agreeable, optimistic, sociable. He enjoys speaking and writing, and he does both with charm and artistry. His intellectual pleasures are very much influenced by his feelings. He is amorous and sensual. He likes beauty, the Arts, travelling, frequent changes of scenery. Aims always for diplomacy. Very charming.

235 Conjunction between Mercury - Jupiter

He is intelligent with big ideas: He is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. He has good judgement, good sense and has his feet on the ground. He has the "gift of gab," fully enjoys literature and learning. He is erudite and will usually be successful socially.

446 Conjunction between Mercury - Saturn

He is precise or strives to be mentally organized. He is able to study, concentrate, and focus, and often has the patience to work towards a goal slowly but surely. He may take time to get communications "just so" and prefers step by step directions. Respects tradition and rules, preferring a sense of order.

21 Sextile between Mercury - Neptune

He can put down in writing everything that his imagination and intuition dictates. A wonderful storyteller.

134 Conjunction between Mercury - Pluto

He has a great sense of observation and quickly grasps and sizes up the situation. He is crafty, subtle, and perceptive.

-16 Square between Mercury - Ascendant

He may criticize and gossip, arguing frequently and often nervous. Without even realizing it, he might look for or instigate a verbal battle, and can be provoking.

Communication is very important to you, and your mind is sharper and more creative when you have a partner you can bounce your thoughts and ideas off of. You are an excellent conversationalist and can fascinate your partners with your sharp mind. You love to debate issues just for the mental exercise, even if you don't feel strongly about the position you argue! You play devil's advocate often, and your ideal partner understands that your debates are, in fact, mental exercises--certainly not attacks! You are also prone to exaggerate or stretch the truth when trying to make your point, especially when it comes to your own background or experience.

In your close relationships, your partner serves as a mirror, reflecting your thoughts and ideas back to you from a different perspective. You are rather independent and will not allow anyone to restrict your freedom, but you love to talk things out before arriving at a decision. Truth is, you won't always take others' advice! However, you do enjoy looking at problems from all sorts of different perspectives. You may choose partners who are considerably younger than you, or who are not as academically smart as you. Conversations with you are always stimulating and lively. The ability to share your thoughts with a partner is vital to your sense of fulfillment in a close personal relationship.

Venus

Venus represents an interest in emotions and values, exchange, and sharing with others.

                                          VENUS IS IN SAGITTARIUS 

When Venus in Sagittarius people are in love, they need to feel they can grow and expand their horizons through their relationship. They want to learn new things, and experience everything together. These are idealistic lovers who want you to appreciate their beliefs, visions, and ideals. They can be a confusing mix of the lighthearted and serious. They are roamers and seekers, and don't commit in their relationships as easily as others. Venus in Sagittarius people turn others on with their big smiles and laughs, their jokes, their grand schemes, their dreams, and their friendly, flirtatious behavior. They pride themselves on their open minds, but you may notice they can be judgmental too. They are threatened by inhibitions on the part of their lover, dullness, and emotional overkill. They are restless, and won't put up with lovers who dwell on any one thing. When the going gets tough in their relationship, they have an overwhelming need to run away. Usually this only means getting out and experiencing something new before they come back, but sometimes it can be for good. They are attracted to people in love with life. You don't need to be refined, polished, or graceful to win their favor.

Pleasing Venus in Sagittarius involves allowing them lots of room in the relationship to grow. Avoid getting stuck in a rut, and understand their need to move on. Learn to laugh, but take their rants and raves seriously. Avoid criticizing their beliefs, join them in debates, and philosophize along with them. When they feel the need for more experience, join them! Learn to look past their clumsiness with you and your feelings, and avoid cornering them or forcing them to commit.

Venus in XII: Venus is in the twelfth house

He is devoted to those less fortunate. Can thrive in the medical or social professions. He likes animals, tranquility, peace, and solitude. He may have secret love affairs (*from his team, not from his partner. spence is not the type to cheat).

You are big on romance and you tend to live and breathe your partner once you're hooked. Not the best at defining your boundaries -- where your needs and your partner's needs separate -- you can get hurt in love rather easily. You can also feel used quite readily. You are attracted to people from all walks of life, finding a partner who has an unusual background or quirky personality most attractive. Partners who mistake your compassion for weakness can take advantage of you. Being openly affectionate and trusting often doesn't seem safe to you. You may feel your love won't be appreciated or reciprocated. You may get involved in secret love affairs or fall in love with a person who is quite unavailable to you at different points in your life. Love and sacrifice often seem to go hand in hand for you - having to give something up to be with the one you love, or having to relinquish some person or some aspect of an important love relationship. You value a certain amount of self-sacrifice and a giving attitude in a partner, as you embody these traits. You can be quite mysterious to others, even if you don't mean to be, because your romantic needs are kept hidden. Although you are quite naturally drawn to relationships that are unusual, secret, challenging, and unequal, do take the time to examine why this may be the case. Be certain that you are not, in some way, punishing yourself because you don't feel worthy of an equal and public relationship. Because Venus represents attraction, and the twelfth house is associated with the feet, your feet may be especially attractive and/or erogenous zones!

141 Sextile between Venus - Jupiter

He is good-hearted and generous, possessing a good character. He likes well-being, comfort, a life of ease, without problems. He has good relations with his social circle. He is easy to approach. All the same, he may fall in love easily. He has a successful partnership and professional life. People usually trust him.

322 Conjunction between Venus - Neptune

His professional life can be creative or inconstant. He has a taste for the Arts, can be a dreamer, and may be easily influenced and romantic. He is emotional and very sensitive.

Romantic, creative, gentle, and adaptable, you naturally express the finer qualities of mysterious and dreamy Neptune in your love relationships. Your imagination is rich and your fantasy world well-developed. You are turned off by rudeness and crudeness, and are drawn to beauty in its many forms. You are very giving and generous, but may be a little on the submissive side, or sometimes downright lazy, failing to take the initiative when situations call for it.

68 Sextile between Venus - Pluto

His emotional and sex life can be powerful and rich. He lives out truly passionate love affairs. Extremely resourceful, he is also excellent at determining the worth or value of material things. He can help others to discover their own worth as well. He is naturally attracted to relationships that transform him, that are growing and evolving, and that are intense. He can use his strong intuition and understanding of others for good or for bad, and this depends largely on other aspects in the chart. He can be highly devoted and passionate to the things (and people) he loves. He can be quite persuasive.

Mars

Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.

                                                MARS IS IN VIRGO

These productive and busy people are goal-oriented, practical people. Although they can be a little scattered at times, simply because they are doing so many things at any give time, Mars in Virgo natives get things done--quite well! They have a knack for handling a wide variety of tasks at once, and a tendency to take on perhaps too much at the same time. Most Mars in Virgo natives are not particularly aggressive by nature. Although they can be a little hard-nosed and critical at times, they rarely resort to pushing others around. Still, an annoyed Mars in Virgo native can be difficult to be around! Arouse their anger and they turn into complaining, over-critical nags. Generally, these natives don't make themselves nuisances, so this stage is unlikely to last for very long. It is a sensitive position, however. It doesn't take much to make these people nervous.

Mars in Virgo people are quite protective about their "system" for getting things done. Although rather humble in a general life sense, they can be quite particular about their methods--how they organize and accomplish their goals, mostly with work. Theirs is a nervous energy. Although they have some staying power, they can be restless and are not given to sticking with the same projects for too long. These natives derive plenty of energy and life force from the things they do--their work, hobbies, and any kind of projects they take on. An idle Mars in Virgo native is a sorry sight, indeed. Fidgety, nervous, worried...all of these things are a sure sign that Mars in Virgo people have either too little to do, or far too much on their plates. There is a perfectionist at the heart of all people with this position. They'll be the first to deny this, but it's there! They worry when they are not producing anything, and they worry about whether what they've produced will measure up.

An earthy and sometimes nervous sexuality generally characterizes people with this position of Mars. In a sense, their performance in bed is similar to their work. These people want to be good at what they do. They will generally be open to experimentation, if only to feed their curiosity and to feel savvy. There's often a shy and humble side to Mars in Virgo in any area that involves putting themselves out there and letting go (areas ruled by Mars). But experience and knowledge are important to these natives, and this drive generally wins over their natural reticence.

Mars in VIII: Mars is in the eighth house

Sexually very powerful, he is also capable of tremendous focus and hard work. Sexually intense and deep. May be adept at professions requiring research, strategy, uncovering truths, and analysis. Arguments may occur over inheritance.

-6 Square between Mars - Uranus

He is full of contradictions. He is original, tending to the eccentric, headstrong, impatient, and sometimes irascible. Erratic energy levels, needing to be fully inspired to apply energy to a matter. He will fight to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them.

-53 Square between Mars - Lilith

Love affairs are tempestuous with quarrels, crises, great passion after the storm.

Jupiter

Jupiter represents expansion and grace.

                                            JUPITER IS IN LIBRA

He attracts the most good fortune when he is fair-minded, treats others with equality, bends without being a doormat, is gracious, and uses his talents at promoting and mediating. Values people and relationships, and might succeed best in partnership. Relating as equals is important to him. The arts, architecture, law, math, mediating, and politics are possible avenues for success. Use of charm and grace to reach goals.

Jupiter in IX: Jupiter is in the ninth house

Deeply intelligent, he is tolerant and sincere. Professional success can happen abroad or in connection with foreign countries. Faraway voyages are profitable. Very optimistic, philosophical, hopeful, humorous.

78 Conjunction between Jupiter - Saturn

He is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. His judgment is good and he is inclined to think things over. He pursues his objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. He is upright, usually law-abiding and respecting order.

112 Sextile between Jupiter - Neptune

He is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty. He knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression to make others feel heard. He is a dreamer with imagination to spare, fully enjoying the Arts.

221 Conjunction between Jupiter - Pluto

He likes to direct, he is intelligent and an organizer of the first order.

Saturn

Saturn represents contraction and effort.

                                              SATURN IS IN LIBRA

Recognized for his seriousness, moral qualities. He is respectable, conscientious.

Weaknesses: may not be open to new ideas.

Saturn in IX: Saturn is in the ninth house

He is studious, patient, rigorous, austere. He likes reflection, meditation. He carries out all the plans he makes. He can be a stay-at-home.

22 Conjunction between Saturn - Pluto

He perseveres, achieving his projects through hard work.

-35 Square between Saturn - Ascendant

His life can be difficult and cramped. He is hard-working, but success takes time. He may have problems with being open, without self-consciousness. He may accept solitude rather than look for solutions. Family problems.

Uranus

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.

                                          URANUS IN SCORPIO

Intelligent and subtle. Usually he adores research, inquiry, investigation. Very sensual. May want to explore new ways to connect with others.

Uranus in X: Uranus is in the tenth house

He must have an independent career with little in the way of dull routines, and that satisfies his need to move around, travel and that must in particular have an element of excitement, uncertainty, creativity, or risk attached. He can be eccentric.

61 Conjunction between Uranus - Lilith

He lives through marvellous adventures - without much follow-up, it is true, but these leave happy memories. He can have many such adventures and fantastic love-at-first-sight encounters.

Neptune

Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.

                                               NEPTUNE IN SAGITTARIUS

May especially enjoy long voyages, things foreign, being close to water. Altruistic, broad spiritual vision, humane, spiritual.

Neptune in XII: Neptune is in the twelfth house

He likes isolation, a withdrawn life, dreams, and meditation. He has has little desire for action. The healer, but it may take half a lifetime or more to recognize this.

38 Sextile between Neptune - Pluto

He is perceptive and able to see layers to a situation. He is naturally drawn to learning what makes himself and others tick.

Pluto

Pluto represents transformations, mutations, and elimination.

                                                PLUTO IS IN LIBRA

May look for new ways to relate to others.

Lilith

Black Moon Lilith represents our darker, deeper natures that may be repressed or buried.

                                            LILITH IN SAGITTARIUS

He may have felt uncomfortable or even ashamed for his curiosity, questions, restlessness, the need to challenge and question life/facts/beliefs, or the need to get away, expand, and seek meaning. He may feel uncomfortable around people who are expressing these Sagittarian traits, not quite trusting them! Learning to accept and even embrace these traits without apology can be empowering. It can also help end a cycle of going to extremes with these traits.

0 Trine between Lilith - Lunar Node

This aspect sometimes means a troubled sex life until he learns to feel more comfortable expressing and integrating this side of the personality.

North Node-South Node

The South Node represents our overdeveloped character traits. We are talented here but if we overdo this area of life or hold onto these traits to feel secure, we may stagnate. The North Node points to the qualities that we need to work on and develop to achieve inner balance and fulfillment.

                                   TRUTH NORTH NODE IN CANCER

He is excellent at managing, overseeing, and organizing. He is learning to work on his inner foundation, accepting his need to nurture and be nurtured. His path is to moderate his tendency to over-manage his life and to relax his standards of achievement. As he does so, he discovers he more easily achieves his goals. He also learns to trust his instincts. Qualities to develop: willingness to be cared for or supported, subordination.

North Node in VII: North Node in the Seventh House

He tends fall back on depending on himself when cooperating with someone special can help him succeed and bring him better luck. The goal should be to involve others more and build diplomacy and cooperation so as to gain perspective and share the load. His path is to listen to others instead of falling back on his automatic response to do everything on his own and call the shots. Qualities to develop: finding a middle ground, cooperation, harmony.

The Houses

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

                           SCORPIO WITH ASCENDANT CAPRICORN                                         ASCENDANT IS CAPRICORN 

There's a seriousness to Capricorn rising people that is unmistakable. Even when they're joking around, it's of the deadpan variety. In fact, plenty of very humorous people have Capricorn Ascendants. It's all in the timing...and the fact that they don't giggle before the joke is over. Capricorn Ascendant people project competence. They simply ooze it. They're generally very image-conscious people--the clothes they wear and their manner are a big deal to them. They want to appear successful, and they generally succeed! Often the Ascendant persona is the one that was forced upon us by family conditioning. For example, parents may label their Libra Ascendant child the "nice" one; their Aries Ascendant child the "independent" one; and their Pisces Ascendant child is generally the space cadet of the family. We adopt these roles as familiar ones, and often carry them with us as our defense mechanisms, in some way or another, for the rest of our lives. In the case of Capricorn Ascendants, these were the children who were considered the responsible ones. Sometimes, it was they themselves who looked around them and felt the need to be the structured, dependable, and responsible members of the family. So, often, Capricorn rising people adopted a strong sense of tradition, family, and responsibility at a very young age.

Capricorn rising people are generally big on family, and forever worry about security--for themselves and their dependents. They come across to others as hard-working, competent, and dependable people. What others may not see under that cool, even suave, exterior, is an inner struggle: they often ask themselves, "Am I doing enough?", "Do I deserve all of this?", "How can I make things better?" They worry a lot about the future. If success seemed to have come easy to these folks, it hasn't. They just made it look that way with a patient, hard-working, driven personality. Some Capricorn rising people practice some form of self-denial. They know how to do away with the frivolous. Still, they'll spend money on the clothes they really want (the ones with the right labels, that is), and other status symbols. Although they're rarely showy, their quiet air of success is often a result of conscious effort. More often than not, Capricorn rising individuals are success stories. Their childhoods may have been difficult, but they slowly but surely turn their lives around. Saturn rules this Ascendant, and this generally means a kind of backwards way of living--as children, they are serious and bear a lot of responsibility; and as they grow up, they age beautifully, learning how to loosen up.

House II - the second house - is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions.

                                         AQUARIUS ON HOUSE II

Success in professional life won't take place without the help of friends and protectors. While he may earn enormous amounts, he can lose almost as much. Best financial success through networking with others. Might succeed in business on the internet. Most profitable businesses may be unusual or innovative ones. Efforts should be made to better organize finances.

House III - the third house - is the area of social and intellectual learning.

                                             ARIES ON HOUSE III

Straightforward in speech. Lively intelligence. He is ambitious. He is always ready for any initiative requiring change or novelty. Sometimes, this position suggests an only child, or competitiveness amongst siblings.

House IV - the fourth house - is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth.

                                          TAURUS ON HOUSE IV

Can make a good father. He may prefer to be at home, with the immediate family for company. He appreciates comfort, peace and quiet, and simple but good food! Will take care of what he owns wisely.

House V - the fifth house - is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling.

                                          TAURUS ON HOUSE V

A pleasant home, a charming partner, loving and sweet children, nice little meals, pleasant evenings with the loved one -- the good life.

House VI - the sixth house - is the area of learning by material transaction.

                                          GEMINI ON HOUSE VI

Good assistant, sales rep, jack of all trades. Weak point: the nerves, sometimes also the lungs.

House VII - the seventh house - is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action.

                                         CANCER ON HOUSE VII

This can point to a rather strong marriage or partnership, a nice little family. The partner may not always be easy to live with due to moodiness.

House VIII - the eighth house - is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.

                                             LEO ON HOUSE VII

He should probably watch for a tendency to want to control joint resources, but he can be generous with others. Proud. It's wise to have regular check-ups on the heart and arteries.

House IX - the ninth house - is the area of learning that shapes the identity.

                                           LIBRA ON HOUSE IX

He likes justice, honesty, loyalty. Would make a good lawyer.

House X - the tenth house - is the area of material action. The Midheaven represents the work one will do in one's life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older.

                                           SCORPIO ON HOUSE X

He likes professions that involve a certain risk. He likes to investigate. He is curious by nature, taking risks and fighting to succeed.

House XI - the eleventh house - is the area of search for social and intellectual security.

                                         SCORPIO ON HOUSE XI

He likes to debate endlessly with friends who don't share his ideas. The discussion can lead to words or even verbal sparring.

House XII - the twelfth house - is the area of education and of emotion. This is where we meet our karma, deal with endings, and sometimes where we bury things.

                                     SAGITTARIUS ON HOUSE XII

Problems abroad, or with foreigners, or flight abroad, exile is possible in extreme cases.