#while secretly being a romantic who wants to get married SO BAD but never felt that towards anyone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ladylokilaufeyson5 · 2 years ago

Note

Okay so I really want a Royalty AU with Robin? Maybe like reader has to get married if they/she want to become the queen but instead of falling for the eligible bachelors, she falls in love with Robin. Thanks! (Also if the reader could secretly be lesbian I would love it)

A/N: i loved writing this omg

Pairings: Robin Buckley x Reader (romantic), Brother!Eddie Munson x Sister!Reader, Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Warnings: i want to say homophobia but more in like an implied way i guess

Words: 1,300+

You danced with the next eligible bachelor, a fake smile plastered on your face. He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t your type. But apparently that didn’t matter for a queen-to-be – you just had to be married.

Once the song ended you smiled at the man, and another took his place to dance with you. This one wasn’t even half-bad – you would even go as far as saying that he was wonderful. But just not in a romantic sense.

“Steve Harrington,” he introduced himself, kissing your hand politely. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Y/n Munson,” you smiled. “The pleasure is mine.”

You danced with him, a prince of another land, but nothing tugged at your heartstrings. No spark flared between the two of you, even though you found yourself laughing at his jokes and smiling much more than you had with any other man.

When the ball ended you made your way to your lavish room and your servants undressed you, untying the corset that made it hard to breathe and the dress that was so itchy it burned. If you did end up marrying a prince and becoming queen, at least you’d be able to choose your clothes.

A knock at your door sounded as you sat on your bed, reading, and you looked up at the noise.

“Who is it?” you called.

“Your favourite person in the world,” your brother called back.

You grinned and opened the door, Eddie standing on the other side. He pulled you in for a quick hug, his denim vest a familiar comfort against your face.

“I didn’t see you at the ball,” you said.

Eddie grinned playfully at you. “And take the spotlight off of the queen-to-be? Nah.”

You rolled your eyes at your older brother. Your brother, Edward Joseph Munson the third, had abdicated the throne, leaving you next in line. You knew your brother was going to do it – he was a free spirit, and being chained down by the responsibilities of running a kingdom wasn’t something that he wanted to do. He wanted to travel, he wanted to fall in love, he wanted to go on quests and journeys and tell stories to his closest friends around campfires and sleep under the stars. That’s the way he’d always been, and you’d always known it would be you who would rule your kingdom.

“Found a suitor?” Eddie asked, draping himself over your bed like he owned the place.

“Not for me, no,” you sighed.

“What about the one you were dancing with towards the end?” Eddie mused, but there was a slight strain to his voice. “Y’know, the one with the hair?”

“So you were there!” you accused, smacking him with your pillow.

Eddie laughed and smacked you right back. “Well?”

You shrugged. “He was alright. But… you know me.”

Eddie’s smile faded slightly. Yeah, he knew. He knew that you would never be able to love a man like that, no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you forced yourself to. You’d known for a while that it was a woman who would be able to capture your heart, but you’d never be able to marry one.

Eddie felt your pain on a personal level. It was part of the reason why he’d abdicated – he didn’t like the opposite gender, either. He wanted to be able to love freely, so he gave the throne to you, not knowing at the time that you didn’t want a king at your side.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Marriage doesn’t mean love, right? It’s just a legal thing.”

It was something you’d told yourself again and again, hoping that the next time you repeated it, you’d believe it.

Eddie’s eyes lit up, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Have you read the law?” he asked. “Y’know, the one that says you have to be married?”

“‘In order to be Queen, a princess must be married to someone else of royal status,’” you recited.

“Someone else,” Eddie repeated. “Someone else. Not a prince. Not a king. Someone else.”

Your eyes widened as it clicked.

“No way,” you breathed. “No way! We have to go check! Right now!”

The two of you scrambled up from your bed and burst through the doors, running through the castle hallways and to the library as fast as your feet could carry you. You sprinted past bookcase after bookcase until you reached the legal section. Eddie brushed his fingers over the spines of the books before he pulled out one on the marriages of the royals.

“Nothing,” he whispered, flicking through the pages. “Nothing about you having to marry a man. Just someone of a royal status.”

Your heart soared, before problems and complications began to fill your head, and it sank back down.

“I have to choose someone in five days’ time,” you stressed. “There is no way any princesses could make it here by then. Besides, how could I even ask? I –”

“Hey, hey,” Eddie said, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll find someone. I’ll help you.”

You took a deep breath, calming your anxiousness, when voices sounded behind you. You turned your head as two people paused at the other end of the aisle. It was two of the guests from other kingdoms who were staying in the guest quarters. One of them you recognised – Steve, the prince you’d been dancing with. And his companion…

Well, she was the most gorgeous girl you’d ever seen. Her hair was cut short, just below her chin, and was a blonde-brown colour. She seemed tall, even from a distance, and she wore leather pants and a white button up shirt.

You must have been staring instead of concentrating, because your brother elbowed you in the side, much harder than he needed to. You glared at him and rubbed your side before turning your attention to the newcomers.

“Steve,” you greeted, dipping your head. “Nice to see you again. And… um…”

Gosh, what were formalities? You didn’t know, they’d flown right out of your head as soon as the pretty girl appeared. Your tutors would have been horrified.

Luckily, neither of the two seemed to mind. The girl stayed silent, her eyes wide as she stared at you, and Steve introduced her. “This is my friend, Princess Robin Buckley.”

Princess. Oh, princess. She was a princess. She was royal. You could marry her and become queen, and…

And you were getting way ahead of yourself. You’d just met the girl, for gosh’s sake!

“Yeah, that’s me,” Robin said quickly, trying to curtsey in pants. “I’m princess Robin. Your kingdom is very wonderful, and your castle is magnificent. The views from the east side are fantastic – I never knew someone could see that much sea from a window.”

The girl continued rambling until Steve nudged her lightly. You tried to hide your smile as you turned to look at your brother, hoping he was thinking the same thing as you – but his eyes were glued to Steve. You rolled your eyes but smiled, knowing that he was most definitely not thinking the same thing you were.

“I feel like I haven’t seen another woman in ages,” you sighed, walking over to Robin. “Would you like to go out tomorrow? I can show you the beach – there’s this one cliff I like to go to where you can see the other side of the bay.”

It was an offer of friendship - and hopefully something more.

Robin seemed pleasantly surprised, and she nodded furiously. “I’d love that,” she agreed. “We could make it a whole day, maybe?”

Your heart soared at the fact that she wanted to spend the day with you.

“I’ll tell the cooks to pack us lunch,” you decided. “Meet me at the doors of the throne room at ten tomorrow?”

Robin nodded again. “Ten. Yeah, that sounds great. Like ten in the morning? Well, I’d assume so, because you agreed to make it a whole day…”

Robin trailed off and started blushing furiously. You smiled at her and felt your heart grow warm.

“Yes, ten in the morning,” you agreed. “I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” she accepted. “I’ll see you then.”

You smiled at her one last time, feeling for once in your life that maybe you could be queen and fall in love.

#robin buckley x reader #robin stranger things #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley #robin x reader #robin x y/n #robin x you #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington #royalty au #emily's 1k celebration

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hello-nichya-here · 3 years ago

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How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”, who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

#how i met your mother #himym finale #swarkles #anti ted and robin #fuck ted mosby #worst finale ever #barney stinson #barney deserved better #robin deserved better #they deserved better #i deserved better

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jirouing · 4 years ago

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★ ·.·˙··˙·.· THE TODOROKIS MEETING SHOTO'S BF !

➫ characters ;; enji todoroki, fuyumi todoroki, natsuo todoroki, rei todoroki, shoto todoroki

➫ reqs info ;; "hello! may i request todoroki's boyfriend meeting his family and im honestly just curious of how shotos family, endeavor, fuyumi, natsuo and rei would feel if shoto was in a committed relationship w another boy. thank you!"

➫ authors%warning ;; transferred from main, lowercase, minor manga spoilers, this is rushed like hell

let's say you meet him while most of the heroes and students are in the hospital. you rushed over as soon as you had gotten the call to see if shoto was doing okay. you ended up crashing in the midst of the family affair but none of that mattered to you once you caught wind of shoto's bandaged face.

enji watched as you two hugged each other from the bed, you practically crying in his arms and kissing his face. he was confused. even more so when he saw he was literally the only who seemed to be confused. he's just thinking: "since when did shoto get a boyfriend???" and "why in the hell didn't he tell me???" not once did shoto ever mention you or having any...romantic feelings for other boys at all.

he would be the most ignorant and clueless, and might even saying some things that come out wrong in the future. but he noticed when you showed up, shoto started to smile your way and warmed up to you almost instantaneously while focusing only on hushing your cries. you made him happy in a way enji didn't really understand. but it wasn't something he felt was his place to say anything, especially not right now.

rating !! 1818282/10 on an accidental homophobic scale

FUYUMI TODOROKI

she would be the most accepting one of you guys' relationship from the jump.

since shoto tended to go to her for advice and big sister guidance, she was the first person he came out to, so it would be fitting if he told her about his relationship as well.

fuyumi trusted that you'll take care of her brother and treat him well. you made quite the impression on her and she adored your dynamics. she also frequently gave you fruit and flower arrangements on your anniversaries like y'all were an old married couple or something-

overall, she never saw an issue with you two being together and shoto secretly appreciated it a lot.

rating !! 10/10 goated sister

NATSUO TODOROKI

the most skeptical of the bunch. it wasn't that minded that shoto was dating a boy - he did not care at fucking all - he just wasn't so quick to warm up to you.

you can call him overprotective and all of that but he just wanted to look out for shoto, but do that while not giving away anything.

it took at most a week or two for him to come around (after he was confronted by fuyumi and a irritated shoto himself) so he finally gave it a rest and made peace with you. it lead him to the realization that you're not that bad of a guy and you and his bro fit together just fine.

sure he'll lay into you a bit, that's just natsuo, but he's proud that shoto found someone he could be himself around.

rating !! 9/10 inspector gadget headass

REI TODOROKI

she's more quiet when you two meet but she never really minded you two being together.

in her headspace, she might feel a sense of longing because she saw you two having a deep connection with each other, something she never got to experience in her younger years. she's all soft smiles and warm handshakes though, never letting those feelings show.

but she also feels joy, overjoyed at the fact that shoto seemed to find someone he loved even if it so happened to be another boy. if her son was happy, so was she.

(she also really liked when you come to visit because you were all too nice to her; she tells you to "quit it" and "there was no need" but you don't listen to her anyway, seeing how she began to light up around you two)

rating !! 8/10 nice pretty lady~

#my hero academia #bnha #shoto todoroki #todoroki #todoroki x male reader #shoto todoroki x male reader #bnha x male reader #my hero academia x male reader #enji todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #rei todoroki #male reader #bnha scenarios #⏰ . . . stargazing.#☎ 一 flacko's stuff.

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rein4r1 · 3 years ago

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In The 10 Years I kept Loving You

Wc: 1.3k

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warning/s: Drug abuse, Infidelity, Potential Death, Not Proofread

Pairing/s: [MODERN AU] Eren x GN!Reader, Reiner x GN!Reader

The only promise Eren kept is loving you until the last sun dies.

“You look-“ Beautiful

Heavenly in your white wedding gown. Glamorous in the jewels that adorned every piece of you. And just, Beautiful in the way you elegantly sat on the chair, waiting for the clock to struck 10.

“I just know he’ll cry when he sees you! So stunning!” Sasha exclaims, completely in awe of you. You continue to converse until you hear a knock on the door.

“It’s time.”

Today is the day you the knot to your soon to be husband. Truly, it is an auspicious and joyful day, but you cannot help but think that of 10 years ago.

———

The beginning of your relationship was pretty normal, you met Eren at one of your classes, got partnered up in a group project, and became friends. Friendship turned into attraction, which blossomed into him taking you out. And like a speed of light, you began a relationship with him. The attraction was quick, but what you felt was way beyond reason. Because you cannot explain love, you just feel it.

Everyday felt like you were in your honeymoon phase, Eren wouldn’t fail to show you how much he loves you. He adored you, so much that you were his oxygen, the breathe of life that turned even the grayest of lands green.

And how he loves you with you naked beside him, after a night of dancing in romantic bliss, under the starry sky that shall bear witness for his love for you, and you for him. How he loves to nimbly trail his fingers on your lithe skin. His goddess of beauty, making sure he drinks so much of your love, he’d never go empty.

I want to marry you, my love. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms. Cared and nurtured. Eren kisses your shoulder softly, as if scared to steal you from your peaceful dream.

I hope you dream of me.

———

You love Eren, oh so dearly. That even the small infuriating things about him makes you love him even more.

“I swear to God babe, I TOLD YOU TO WIPE THE TOILET SEAT!”

“My bad babe my bad.” As he throws a wink at you with his half-hearted apology.

And whenever he calls you in the middle of the night, drunk of his ass and hearing Connie laugh at the background

“Babe I love you so mu- JEAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!- Babe please listen to me.”

“I am listening Eren”

“I want to fuck you right now.”

Yup, you love him.

———

You’re currently stargazing with Eren, your head on his chest and his hands under your shirt, tracing small circle on your back. The whole situation making your heart thud for joy.

“You see all those start babe?”

“Mhm?”

“That’s how much I love you”

“… You love me far?” And whenever you pout? Eren just has this urge to kiss you.

“No baby, I love you a lot. I’ll love you until the last star dies.”

———

But when did it all go wrong? Why do every kiss feels like he’s anxious? Why does every embrace feel like insecurity? And just like how your relationship start, it’s quickly wilting away.

You saw him less, your dates gets rescheduled, and he- it’s like he can’t be bothered anymore. And you felt it, fear.

You thought that he’d love you until the last star dies, and you look up to sky at night, and saw emptiness.

“Pieck I’m scared, I really am!” Your currently on the phone with your best friend, with endless tears caused by dread.

“I don’t want him to leave me! I just- I can’t imagine a life- a world without my Eren”

“And why is tha-“

“That’s because I love him! He is the sun that basks me in fervor, everyday. He is my sun, and I love him. I can’t live without him Pieck.” She cares for you, but how could Pieck say that there are relationships that are meant to die out, no matter oh much promises you made. Stars are meant to die.

———

Eren loves you, he truly does! And he’s sorry for doing this to you.

Eren loves you, Eren loves you so much that he began to doubt his own feelings for you. He didn’t know when it started. But one day he woke up with voices in his head he cannot even understand. But maybe it’s the drugs he’s been secretly taken from your back. The substance fucking up his brain, he can’t even remember his own name.

He began to lose himself, and slowly, you. He drifted himself away from you, and traded his dates for pot sessions with his frat buddies, the same disrespectful frat boys who introduced him to women despite him being in a relationship. Because according to them gods shouldn’t was their times for one pussy.

Together with drugs and alcohol, he lost control on his body. That’s why, the same night you’ve been balling you heart out to Pieck, is the same night, he had someone else sobbing for his name, beneath him.

That’s when he stopped becoming your Eren.

———

When you learned what he’s done, you felt numb, hearing nothing but the static nose that made your head explode. And here you were wandering aimless somewhere in the city.

I thought he loves me

I wasn’t enough?

Am I not enough?

AM I NOT EN-

“MISS PLEASE!” You felt an arm roughly but securely tug you from your senses.

“Are you okay? You almost got hit by a-“ You turned at the man, tall blonde and buff man, if only you could see how handsome he is if not for-

“AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?” and you broke down, in front a stranger. He stood there awkwardly, as he saw people staring at you, whispering. He knows he can’t leave you like this, so all he could do is offer you is comfort. So, he embraced you, and you cried in his arms.

When you pulled away, much calmer than before, you thanked him.

That whole night was weird for Reiner. He was having an argument with his mom, so he decided to have a jog to calm down his nerves. The next time he saw you was at university. That’s why you felt familiar, you study at the same uni!

You were sitting down at some bench, ignoring someone. You knew you had to go to school, after all, your future is better than any boy the world could offer. You felt a presence beside you. It’s that man from that day.

The both of you only sat there in silence, but it doesn’t feel suffocating. If anything, it’s warm. Who would’ve thought that you’d fall in love once again. But this time, it’s slow and careful. As if to not shock the water with sudden waves. It’s slow, but it’s sure.

———

He fucked up; he clearly did. Eren knows he loves you; he does love you! So why did he traded something temporary with something that’ll give him a lifetime supply of happiness. It’s because he doubted his love for you. Doubting you for a second, compromised years of the lost half of his heart. And in the ten years he’s loving you, not stopping from loving you, nothing hurts more than seeing you love someone else.

He knows it’s his fault. That being swayed away from superficial things, means that he gets to see you walk down the aisle with another man, someone who’s more deserving than him.

You get to offer your whole life with someone else. While he’s stuck, ten years and more, for loving you. And he has nothing to blame but his self.

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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

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what you heard | reader x changjin

a/n: hi. its missing changjin hours also now I am addicted to poly r/ship fics so here is what my brain came up with hehe (pic creds to OPs!)

what you heard | reader x changjin

Pairing: self insert, hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader x seo changbin

Genre: smut w/ fluffy tones

Tags: poly r/ship, comfort fic, outdoors sex, friends to lovers, discovery of feelings, idiots in love, with a lil bit of comedy, college au, teehee switch!changbin, switch!hyunjin, switch!reader, they’re all kinda fighting for dominance muhaha (its those bestie vibes ahaha), bratty behavior on all sides, jinnie kinda flips a switch when he gets in the mood (hehe pun intended), spitroasing (r), unprotected sex (stay safe!), sex under the stars hehe, penetration and fingering (r), oral (r & m), face fucking, cumshot, cum eating, that good, good makin’ out, soft and intimate body touching hell yeah, fluffy ending

Word count: 6.8k

Recommended listening: what you heard by Sonder

If there was something that you and your two bestfriends were the best at, it was getting your heart broken.

Hopeless romantics you all were, in one way or another. In fact, it would take even more than your set of three hands to count the number of times that the three of you had come over with a broken heart, seeking ice cream, hugs, or plates to break.

Changbin was the kind to fall in love slowly, but when he did, it consumed him, and everything that he was. He would become convinced that there was no one better for him in the whole world. He would spend sleepless night writing songs and poetry about those who would occupy his mind. Changbin would write love letter after love letter to never send them, or to have them crinkled into papery balls, and slam-dunked into his waste bin. He would often joke that he was ready to love someone, but he just didn’t quite know how to. Under it all, you and Hyunjin knew that he must’ve been scared if they didn’t love him back.

Hyunjin fell in love with people at the drop of a hat. It was his “fatal flaw” as he liked to to joke about too. The gorgeous blond man would fall in love over hearts scribbled on coffee cups, smiles in passing, and compliments on days when he had caught the bus late. This man was the kind to sing love songs loudly in the shower no matter who heard him, and would often have a new crush by the week. Unlike Changbin, he had no fear when it came to confessing, but had even worse luck getting someone to take his words seriously. Hyunjin had too much love to give, and never received enough back.

You, on the other hand, delayed love for as long as you could, no matter how much that you would dream of it. Love came to you in the forms of movies and books, fictional characters and song lyrics. You wrote about the love you had to give in countless journals and on the back of sticky-notes that had been used on the front-side. Love was more of an abstract concept to you. It was never something that you could touch but rather dream about. However, while this wasn’t the worst way to view it all, you still thirsted for something more. A hand to hold, a warm body to tangle up in the sheets with you.

On this day in particular, you and your friends had gathered for a meeting: your “Unofficial Lonely Hearts Club” as you called it. You couldn’t recall who had called the meeting after the long week that you had, but it was likely what each of you had needed.

These nights would often start the same: the three of you shoved into Changbin’s pickup, windows down, night air in your lungs, some song on the stereo that Changbin had been into these days. The three of you lived in the typical college city nestled into the side of some mountainside--a stark contrast to where you had come from before. It was the kind of place where people went to forget about who they were before to become new people. For some reason, some crazy fraction of the people who moved there, never left.

First chance you got, you would move the hell out of there: a place full of so much heartbreak and disappointment…who could dare to stay?

Hyunjin stuck his hand out the window, making little waves with his palm in the wind. You wondered what he had been thinking of that night; if he was sad or if he was happy. After knowing him for nearly four years now, you knew there was nothing in the world that he deserved more than to feel all the warmth that he had conveyed to others. It was a crime that he never got it back.

Changbin’s free arm held to the handle above the car door frame, and he flexed and relaxed his muscles as he hung his fingers there. You too wondered what thoughts floated on his mind: if he was making up lyrics or if he was putting together some grad story or gesture only for it to never see the light of day. He too deserved all the love the world could offer.

Changbin’s car sped up the dirt road to the lookout spot where kids would go to get drunk, high, or possibly both. It was a dreary and empty Wednesday evening, and secretly you hoped that no other rambunctious students would be there to shatter bottles on the craggy rocks. His headlights lit the path ahead, and the car bounced on the rough road with dusty orange rocks. The higher you got to the mountainside, the more static-y the stereo would buzz until soon all that was left were broken lyrics.

There was one spot you liked particularly: it was a ledge that would jut out horizontally, giving a clear view to the whole of the land below: you would see the white lights from the nearby hospital, and the stadium lights from that god-awful football stadium that had sucked up your student loans. Further, you could see river on the edge of the city-line, and how it would ripple in dark blue sparkles under the moonlight.

Your two best friends would grab the blankets that were habitually kept in the backseat made of scratchy wool, but this only made them warmer. Changbin also kept a couple camping lamps in his car to light up the dark space of his cargo bed. The weight of your bodies would shake the space and make the car bounce a bit on its wheels when the three of you would cuddle up between eachother to take in the scene.

On nights like tonight, neither of you would say much, but just look out and feel it all. There was a kind of beauty in the simplicity of the way that everything seemed so still up there, or how time had appeared to stop somewhat. If you were lucky, you could hear the hoot of an owl, or some other critter rustling in the bushes.

Hyunjin was always the one to sit in the middle, and he would take turns resting his head upon your shoulder or Changbin’s sighing deeply into how they would rise and fall. You hugged your knees to yourself and wondered how many more times you would come up here with them, or if after graduation, it would happen at all. It was painful to consider, but you even wondered if they would be in your life at all after everything ended.

“I’m sick of being lonely.” Hyunjin said into the cold air. He shifted, looking both you and your other friend in the eyes. “Its depressing and exhausting.”

“What are you talking bout ‘Jin?” Changbin threw his hoodie over his head.

“I mean moping about people who don’t ever feel the same...feeling sad when it doesn’t go my way...I’m sick of it!! I just wanna like, give up!! Would it be so hard for me to just like, stop feeling??”

“Oh Jinnie...don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just stop falling in love with people. It’s impossible. Not just for you but...” You exhaled out, “...for all of us.”

“Yeeeah, I don’t think that you have much control over that.” Changbin agreed.

“No, seriously!! It’s shit!!”

You wrapped your arms around him lovingly, nuzzling into his shoulder to sooth him, “I know, I know.”

“Aren’t you guys sick of it?? The three of us must be cursed or something.”

Changbin laughed out his little trademark chuckle and ruffled up his friends blond locks. “You’re being dramatic again Hyunjin. It’s not that bad.”

“Psh! Says you who hasn’t gone on a date in months!”

“Hey!!”

You flicked both of your friends on the sides of their heads. “Cut it out, will you? We came up here to relax and forget all that stuff, remember?”

Hyunjin gave out a sign in his exasperation, turning to fiddle with his little Bluetooth speaker that had definitely seen better days. The last crickets of the season chirped in the early fall air, and the little device booted up with the tiny ringtone that you knew well.

“Anything we want to listen to in particular?”

“Whatever you feel like Jinnie.”

The little blue-white light of his phone illuminated his face, and Hyunjin picked a song that you had likely heard dozens of times before. It was from that artist that he had adored to bits, but only really listened to when he was feeling down.

“Oh Jinnie.” You hushed, then wrapped your arm around his wide shoulder. “No one deserves you.”

Changbin let his head fall on the other boy’s shoulder too. When the three of you were close like this with your body heat shared between you, it was cozier than anything imaginable. While you and your two friends weren’t the most touchy of people, there were still times when you could huddle up, and it was no secret that it felt safer than anything.

Hyunjin chuckled a bit, causing his shoulders to shake. “You know what they say in those movies about people who can’t find love after long?”

“What’s that?”

“They say, “By the time that we turn thirty, if neither of us have found love, lets just marry eachother.””

Changbin scoffed, “And you’re bringing this up why?”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be the most ridiculous idea if the three of us decided to do that, right? Seeing how the current trend is going?”

You exchanged adoring and teasing glances with Changbin over your adorably naïve friend.

“I think you’re missing something out of that equation Jin.”

His doe-eyes widened, “What’s that?”

“In all of those movies, it was usually two people who made that promise.”

“Two people, three people, what does it matter? As of right now, its looking like the only people that we’ve got is eachother.”

Hyunjin stretched out his hands into his sweater paws and made a little squeak when he cracked his back.

“What do you say?”

“Hm.” Changbin cleared his throat, “So you’re being serious?”

“What’s so crazy about it?” Convinced as ever, he counted out the points on his fingers, “We could all live together like we’ve always talked about, we’ll never be lonely and have someone to do things with, we don’t have to be second guessing ever, waiting for someone to call us back...we all already know eachother really well so there will be no surprises...”

“Oh, so you are being serious about it then?” You ruffled his hair up a bit, just to get a rise out of him like it usually would.

“I mean...it’s not like it would be hard...right?”

Changbin sucked at his teeth, “Mm. I guess not.”

“But isn’t a marriage supposed to be like, having kids, being in love, being...partners?” You added.

Hyunjin stammered with frantic hands, “W-well, we don’t have to do everything!! Marriage is so conventional these days, we don’t have to follow all the rules, especially since there will be the three of us anyway.”

Changbin sighed, casting his head up to the ocean-blue sky dotted with silvery constellations and the red blinking lights of airplanes overhead.

“You’re still forgetting something Jinnie.”

The blond tiled his head.

“The part about being in love?”

The tallest boy shied his hair behind his ear, then tucked his chin into one of the blankets.

“I mean...I know that I love you guys. I wouldn’t mind spending the time...”

Your chest buzzed with warmth hearing your friend say it for the first time. It previously had been somewhat of an unspoken phrase between the three of you, but now that he had said it out loud, it felt even more real.

“Awww, I love you too Jinnie.”

Changbin scoffed once more and picked with the fraying ends of the blanket. “I guess I do too.”��

The cargo bed grew silent while the three of you chewed on the idea. The longer you thought about it, it started to make sense bit by bit. After all, through all the confusion and the broken hearts, ice cream and broken plates, your little group understood each other better than most. When there were tears to dry, each of you knew exactly what to do. You had loved them all along, you always had.

“I really love you guys...I think.” Hyunjin finally said, and linked his arms with yours and the other man’s.

“What are you doing getting all cheesy for, huh?” Changbin nudged him with a smirk.

“I don’t know, I guess I just never really thought about it like that before.”

“Like what?”

“Out of all the people that I’ve “loved” I don’t think that I’ve ever loved them like I have with you both.”

“What do you mean?” Under the swath of blankets, your knee nudged against his, and he jumped a bit from the feeling.

Both you and Changbin looked at him attentively and how his lip quivered, and soft eyes glistened from the glow of the lanterns.

“M-maybe all along...I’ve been in love with you?”

“Like, in love, in love?”

“I don’t know...maybe?” He rubbed his eyes like he would’ve had they been lured with sleep. “Maybe I’m just, making things up...I don’t know. It’s getting late.” He laughed out with a tentative breath, “I’m saying things that don’t make sense.”

Changbin looked out at the stretch of city lights as if he was contemplating the idea himself.

“I guess that it wouldn’t be impossible.” He said blankly.

“What!?” You tried to look at both of your best friends as seriously as you could. While your heart started racing, it was as if it was against your will.

“It’s kinda funny,” Changbin began, “The three of us always complain about how love never really comes our way when we’ve already got it...right here.”

Logically speaking, it made sense. You and your two best friends really did know eachother better than anyone else ever had. When you had met as scared little 1st years without a clue in the world how to be your own people. You had figured it all out together. The ways that you had showed love to each other had been a bit different--but it was still all the same. If you were to have not met them all those years ago, your life would’ve been drastically different. You couldn’t even picture it.

Perhaps in all of your little rambles in journals and daydreams, was what you were looking for...them?

“Maybe we were just looking in the wrong place?” You offered, and both of them shrugged.

“It’s possible.” Hyunjin pulled both of your arms closer to him, and rubbed his cheek into the top of your head, then Changbin’s dark curls. He giggled out, tackling the two of you to lay flat on the cargo bed. It crinkled with a plastic sounding thud, then he wrapped his legs up in both of yours the best that he could.

Under his arm, you choked a little from his tight grasp, but you eventually let yourself mold into the curves of his body and soak up his warmth. The scratchy wool tickled at your cold fingers, and you soon felt Changbin’s hand come searching for you under the blanket too. It was a bit startling at first, but he reached out to hold your arm, then rubbed small circles into it with his thumb where you rested them on Hyunjin’s chest.

It was as if he was a bit delirious, but Hyunjin chortled with laugher until he had lost his breath, and his lyrical sounding voice bounced off the cavern of the mountain and echoed up into space.

“Why do I...weirdly...kinda...wanna make out with you guys right now?”

Changbin pinched his friend with a teasing grin, “You mean it?”

Hyunjin pouted with his plush pink lips, “I thought we all just agreed that we were in love with eachother??”

“Jinnie...” You settled your head into the crook of his neck, right by his collarbones.

“Damn. Glad I’m not the only one.” Changbin bit a smirk into his lip, then propped himself up on his forearm to gain better ground on you and the other man.

Your fluttering heart beat it’s way up your throat and into your ears, and your two friends looked at you expectantly.

“O-outside? Right now?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why not?” Changbin traced his thumb and index under Hyunjin’s smooth jaw.

“Aha! So you admit that you want to too!!” Hyunjin beamed and tugged at the sleeves of your own hoodie.

“I-I didn’t say that...”

Hyunjin leaned over on his side to face you. “Y/n, how about lets make a deal. We try it out, see how it feels, if it feels weird, we stop and pretend it never happened?”

“I don’t know Jinnie...this seems pretty friendship ending to me.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Changbin said with a sly grin.

The tallest boy pleaded to you with nearly needy eyes. “I think that it would feel nice? Besides...none of us have really...felt that...in a while.”

Changbin’s creeping hands came surveying over Hyunjin’s deep green pullover, and the other boy shivered out a little feeling the touch.

Hyunjin’s own curious hands reached out to hold both sides of your face gingerly with pink fingertips.

“I know that I’d like to kiss you...if you’ll let me?”

Both of your friends waited for you as you took turns checking with both of them. The whole prospect was unimaginable, but now...with both of them in front of you, both more real than anything you could have ever thought up, it started to make all the sense in the world.

“What do you say?” Hyunjin asked with a dreamy air. It was chilly on that early fall evening, so he tucked up the blankets even higher. It was a simple gesture, but still held multitudes of his care.

“It doesn’t hurt to try...”

You felt your face pulled closer to his, and all at once his warmth flooded your lips. It was a strange feeling your friend’s lips on yours like this, but while it was new, it was comfortable. Your friend relaxed himself over you, smiling with the corners of his mouth, and slowly sucking at your lower lip like he didn’t want to startle you with anything too fast. His glossy lips stuck with his favored strawberry flavored Chapstick, and you only wanted to taste more. He hummed with a little happy sound, and his larger hands nearly covered your whole face where he helped tilt your head a little so that he could gift deeper kisses to it.

Beside him, Changbin shook with a sigh watching the two of you, a different kind of passion growing within him seeing the two of the people that he loved most do something like this. He was a bit unsure at first, but he tucked back his friend’s blonde edges to free the skin of his neck, then sucked little kisses there too. He to was careful, and didn’t want to leave marks, but rather feel the way that Hyunjin’s skin dotted with goosebumps from the feeling and then let kitten-sounding whimpers go from the pressure on his neck.

While the night itself was nearly too cold to bear, the three of your bodies heated instantly, and you nearly felt as if the sweater that kept you warm was even too much. Hyunjin parted his lips slightly to enter your mouth with his tongue, and it was a feeling so indulgent that you tried to hide from your friend how good he could make you feel out of your own embarrassment.

Your name slithered from his lips to yours, and you tucked your hands under his sweater, finding Changbin’s hands there too on the other boy’s bare skin. Hyunjin flinched from feeling both sets of hands on his muscles. His abs flared from the attention, and he accidentally bit into your lip feeling the cold pads of fingers on him.

Now that you had one taste of him your body could only crave more.

Changbin tilted Hyunjin’s gasping and swollen lips to his own where he took his own turn gifting the other boy his affection. Hyunjin pressed his whole chest into the other man in an attempt to get closer and Changbin’s hands splayed across his back to hold him tightly. The two of them giggled a bit as they roughly worked their way around each other’s mouths. Changbin, a little smaller in the other man’s wide and long arms appeared to swim in him, and the two of them melted between the thick fabric of their clothes.

Once more your hands went journeying up Hyunjin’s shirt, and you ran your fingers over every curve and twist of his back: from the little dimples above his hips, his ribs, his sweeping shoulder blades and each swelling bit of fleshy dorsal muscle you could get your hands on. You had never realized how curious you had been for him in this way, but it delighted you to feel him this close.

Legs became anxious under the wool blankets, and tangled up with little regard for personal space, and hips writhed asking for attention that had been kept for them for far too long.

Changbin moved down Hyunjin’s jaw to give him more kisses to his tender neck, sucking harder this time to imprint little purple marks. You had never taken Changbin to be one to do so, but something told you that he was one to take pride in those that he loved, and wanted them to be his only.

“B-Bin...” Hyunjin’s voice wavered, no longer loud enough to bounce off the rocks surrounding you.

From the way that Changbin kissed the other boy, you instantly craved for him to do the same for you. Across the width of your gorgeous blond friend, you tossed around Changbin’s dark and curly strands, and soaked up his warmth to your hand cracking from the cold.

You called out for him too, and found your hips grinding into Hyunjin’s back, becoming more impatient by the moment. The way that both of them touched you, and each other was...different. There was no fear, no heartbreak, no uncertainty or loneliness. When you thought of it later, it was if the three of you could actually heal from it all for the first time.

Changbin’s eyes softened hearing you beg for him, and he helped you slide closer to him.

“Hm. You’re so cute.” He muttered before filling your mouth with his own kisses. Changbin appeared to channel everything that he had in him to give to you--it was no surprise considering the romantic that he was. He was attentive and slow; rough at first, but then melting into something much more infatuating. Hyunjin took his turn swiping his hands up and down your thighs, kneading into the skin, and then tucking up your sweater. He shimmied down your body, pressing soft lips into your belly to make you tremble from the pleasant gesture. He made his way up higher, up to your chest where he exposed even more skin to the cold, but was sure to make up for it by keeping the blankets close.

Changbin swiped his thumb over both of your lips, smiling as he did so.

“Have I ever told you that you’re really breathtaking?” He said with a tone so sultry it was a bit laughable.

“I don’t think so?”

He too took a greedy hand down your chest where Hyunjin nipped lightly, admiring the way that you had looked under the moonlight. He brought his fingers back to your lips, giving you a tiny and accidental taste of his fingertips, then promptly resumed the kisses that you had asked for.

Hyunjin worked his way back up your body, stopping at last to lap lightly into your neck with tiny fleeting love bites and delighted in the way that he could see them fade onto your skin--almost like you and him were a matching set now.

Changbin broke his lips from yours, creating a tiny wet sound with a thin string of his saliva on your your bottom lip.

Hyunjin played with the elastic of your sweatpants, gasping out a bit once he saw your legs rub together in the absence of friction. His eyes wandered slowly to his other friend who had grinded his hips down into the cargo bed with a quivering length.

“Are we about to do what I think we are?” He asked, both thrilled and shocked.

“Seems like it.” Changbin said simply after going to caress the other man’s cheek.

“Damn. I was not expecting this night to go like this.” Your voice shook, either from anticipation, or from the cold--you couldn’t quite tell.

“Me neither...but I’m not mad about it.”

“Friendship offically ruined?” Hyunjin said with a mischievous little smile.

The breeze blew through, wrapped up in the smell of the crisp mountain air. Hyunjin’s little speaker played on with his songs that you still knew the names of. There wasn’t too much light, just the glow from the inside of Changbin’s car and his lanterns, but it was just enough to take in your friends fully--the ones that you had cared for so much, you didn’t even known how much you had. While you would’ve been worried about getting caught on that Wednesday night, this mattered little.

“I’d say so.” You answered, and it was exactly what they had wanted to hear.

The three of you opted to keep your tops on to fight off the elements, but under the covers, you each jiggled off pairs of joggers, jeans and sweatpants. The car bounced once more as the three of you readjusted. As soon as bare legs intertwined and the thin fabric of undergarments got thrown into the mix, you each got louder and more desperate for wandering touches that could quell your desires.

With twisted and oversized socks, Hyunjin straddled both sides of Changbin’s head, letting the other man palm the outline of his dick and squeeze at it harshly until he shivered over the smaller man’s frame.

“Damn Jin...” Changbin groaned seeing the other’s length. “You’ve been packing and didn’t feel like sharing?”

“S-shut up.” Hyunjin whined as the other teased him.

You worked bite after bite down Changbin’s torso, sucking lightly, then harder. After long, you found that it tickled him a little--this knowledge you would save for another time.

He wore baggy boxers which hid the full girth of his dick that swelled with his erection that bopped and only appeared to grow larger once you and released him. Thick veins wrapped around his length, and his tip flared where you grabbed him into your palm.

“I could say the same to you, Bin.” You teased your friend.

Hyunjin turned to see for himself, laughing out, seeing the way that it looked in your smaller hand.

“Bin, what the fuck?”

“...Intimidated are you?”

The other boy tossed his head back, hair getting caught in his hoodie. “No...”

Changbin snapped the elastic to Hyunjin’s briefs just because he liked the sound, then pulled the other’s member out to pump at the considerable length with his fist. The blonde boy choked out a gasp at the strong grip, and Changbin dug his fingers around the other’s waist to bring in him closer.

“What me to suck this pretty dick of yours?”

“Do I even need to answer that question?” Hyunjin snarked.

Further down, you worked your own hand around Changbin’s cock which you had lathered at first with your spit. Obscene sounds of the liquid cupped in your hand, then you worked your mouth down to his gloriously thick thighs. Something overtook you then, and all you wanted to to was ravage them, make them all yours, mark them as yours, and make the quiver all because of you.

Your fingernails dug into the fleshy and squishy skin, and Changbin moaned out forcefully feeling the sting.

“Feels good?” You asked with a wicked grin, then returned to sucking bruises into the inner parts of his thighs.

“You’re gonna...gonna distract me.” He sighed out, still jerking the other boy away.

Hyunjin swiped away the other man’s curly bangs so he could see him fully. He guided his length over Changbin’s mouth, teeth clenched with a tight exhale once he felt the warmth of the other’s tongue lapping up the sides of his shaft.

Your teasing was enough, and you finally granted your friend what he wanted. With a girth as wide as he had, it was somewhat of a challenge, but a challenge that you gleefully expected. He had puffed up your cheeks fully, and you could barely take in half is length without it testing the back of your throat. Still, you focused your breath coming out of your nose, and swallowed him down deeper. Your eyes wetted from the simulation to your gag reflex, but you held on for as long as you could. At last, your wish was granted, and his marked up thighs shook just for you.

“Bin...fuck.” The blond shuddered upon coaxing himself fully into his friend’s mouth. He moaned out sinfully feeling the twist of the other man’s tongue.

To give yourself a moment’s pause, you stopped, gasping over your friend’s slit, teasing your tongue around his head, dipping down to the place where he dripped with beads of precum.

Changbin laughed out breathily, swearing easily and calling out your name too with a rasp to his tone. “S-shit...”

“Getting too distracted?” Hyunjin purred, seeing the other man made a wreck by you. “What about me?”

“S-sorry.” Changbin admitted, wetting his lips and taking back Hyunjin’s cock into his hollowed cheeks.

As you swallowed around him, your friend rutted his hips just slightly, his lust overtaking him.

“Oh fuck, just like that, mm--” Hyunjin cooed, getting lost in his own ecstasy with head thrown back, and his sweater paws melting down to Changbin’s quaking chest where he supported himself.

You worked your hand and mouth up and down around the pulsating vein’s of your best friend’s length, lazily letting him feel your flattened tongue, then switching to let him feel the tightness of your throat.

Hyunjin sighed out heavily as looked down at his friend who had taken him so well. It was almost as if he felt cheated from the crappy head that he had been getting in dirty bathrooms and semi-public dressing rooms. It was dangerous in the way that Changbin would stroke him languidly, then let his drool wet his tip.

Further down your hips, the pent up heat from your own sex ached on the cool plastic of the cargo bed, and you grinded your hips down for any simulation you could get.

The blonde man whimpered out after long, feeling even hazier the longer that Changbin continued on. “Binnie...you’re...feels really--fuck--so, good...”

It was as if the words hand been a trigger for him, but your friend pulled his length for your mouth, panting out like a dog, while also robbing Hyunjin of all feeling.

“Don’t-don’t wanna cum yet...” He laughed out, “I was really fucking close.”

Hyunjin pouted, then turning back and look at you with a bit of your own saliva running down your neck.

“Your turn now.” He nearly whispered, then crawled down the other man’s body to jerk at him lightly.

“Jin! I-I--” He clenched his teeth.

“Lay down, y/n. Is there any way that you want it?”

“A-anything. Anything that you want to do. I-I don’t care.” You begged, falling under his spell.

“Aw. Cute.” He added once he had seen the purple marks on Changbin’s thighs.

You fell back under the two of them, opening yourself up for them to do as they wished. First, Hyunjin crept down your body with as much care as he could--beautiful in the way the he looked close to you like this.

Hyunjin’s hand cascaded down your chest, then belly, all the way down to your own twitching and wetted sex, and you keened directly into his touch.

“Wouldn’t you like my fingers? Filling you up...” He asked softly, finally sinking down far enough so that you could feel his words swirl over your exposed arousal, then pressing light kisses into you. “...as deep as you can take it?”

“Mm-yes.” You squeaked, opening your legs further for him.

Your other friend settled beside you, tilting your chin nearer to him. Just barely, his lips grazed over you, breathing in your air with his hooded eyes glued to your weakened form under the hands of the other boy.

“You’re that excited?” Hyunjin mocked, “We’ve barely touched you.”

“Quit talking and just get to fucking me, got it?” You demanded, mustering all of your strength.

“Oh-ho! I didn’t take you for one to bite back.”

Changbin bit a proud little smile into your lip, wrapping his arms around you. The blond man then toyed with your entrance, licking his fingers, wetting them, then pushed them slowly into your needy hole.

“Ahhh, look at that, so fucking tight around my fingers, You want it that bad?”

His long and lithe digits filled you up where he started to thrust them in and out, using his free hand to push your jolting thighs back. Your right hand traversed it’s way under the blankets which you had readjusted, all the way down to Changbin’s leaking length which still blushed red. You wrapped around him carefully, promising his to lips that you would go easy on him.

As Hyunjin curled his fingers, the other man then reached down to rub at you fervently, matching the pace at which Hyunjin flicked his wrist. Your hips lurched feeling the combination of each sensation, and you cried out loudly for the two of them--the sound itself bounced off that empty space where the three of you existed, almost as if you were calling out for the whole starry sky to hear you.

“I-I think that we were really missing out on something...” You joked with an airy breath and both of your friends joined you.

Changbin’s teeth caught his lip as your hand squeezed and twisted, and you could see with every ounce of restraint that he had, he was holding back.

“Way to make me want to fuck you sideways, huh?” He said with a little grin, observing the size difference between your hand and his member.

Your back arched when Hyunjin reached in even deeper, and you dissolved into the pleasure that he brought you--an amazing kind of all-consuming feeling that shattered your will, and sent you mewling out into your other friends mouth.

“I-I can’t wait anymore,” You begged, clawing right into Hyunjin’s golden trellises.

Changbin scooched up quickly, taking half of the blankets with him, thankfully giving the other boy a nod when he let him be the one to use your entrance. With his brutish hands, he flipped you to your stomach, and hiked up your hips too, cold fingers holding them in place. Hyunjin kneeled permitting you access to his cock which as softened slightly, so he pumped himself back into place with his eyes holding yours.

At first, Changbin teased you with his tip, adding pressure to your twitching hole, then guided himself in bit...by bit.

The blonde tapped his dick to your lips, holding firmly the back of your neck as you took him in and choked out at the way that the other stretched your walls. Changbin grabbed at your ass in handfuls starting slowly, grinding his hips in little circles to simulate you deeper.

“Hm. Who would have known that your pretty little hole would be so perfect for me? Guess we really were missing out on something.”

Hyunjin growled lowly feeling his cock slide down to the back of your throat, brows crossed, and the bottom of his hoodie resting just above his hips.

“Squeeze my leg if it becomes too much, okay? ...I’m gonna fuck your mouth, okay?”

You nodded best you could, and he started to thrust carefully, every few seconds you would hold his member to drag it against the sides of your cheeks, causing him to huff out loudly at the fleshy bits of your mouth.

Changbin quickened his pace, doubling over your back as he lost himself in you, grunting out in his rhythm. From both sides, your best friends used you, resorting to something much more feral as they edged themselves closer. From the motions, the car rocked back and fourth like a bed and it’s headboard.

You too felt the tension build deeply in your core, and it begged with reckless abandon at your dizzy mind that drew itself closer and closer into the feeling of being utterly all theirs.

In many ways, you guessed that you always had been--while it had been unspoken at the time. Now, having the two of them wholly like this under the silver sheen of the moon, the cold biting at your skin, then furiously met with your heat, you could no longer see them as the two broken souls whom you had bonded with at first. They were now everything, everything that you had wished and hoped for.

Even now that you had become much more to each other, there was nothing that could take away the closeness that you had shared with them.

“F-fuck--gonna cum--” Changbin announced while he pounded frantically. The other man rolled his hips into your mouth quicker too, seeking the same kind of release.

“Y/n?” He said with a broken breath, and you muffled out a moan to let him know that you were nearly there too.

“Oh shit, oh shit--”

Changbin grunted out, with a bit of panic to his voice, forcefully removed himself from you seconds before he spilled his white seed onto your hole, then sending it dripping down your leg.

“Oh fuck--s-sorry--” He gasped out, still jerking his cock while he pulsed.

“Bin!! What the fuck??” Hyunjin yelled out, his words quickly turned into mumbles of nonsense when you took him down as deeply as you could manage without gagging, focusing only on him even though your sex ached feeling so empty.

When he had come down after a few moments, Changbin took to fucking your walls once more with his thick fingers, not even caring that he had fucked his white warmth back into you at the same time. Meanwhile, he returned to rubbing of your sensitive flesh, trying to replace the feeling he had robbed you of.

“Cum for me baby, cum for me.”

On cue, you came in waves, shuddering over Changbin’s fingers slicked with his cum, just as your other friend released down your throat and the warm liquid painted your tongue.

His blissful moans turned into light chuckles as he milked himself into your mouth, giving you every last drop. Changbin drove you further, overstimulating you to the point where your knees nearly gave out, and you had to beg him to slow.

After each of your bodies collapsed weakly to the bed of blankets and rejected clothing, you drew the covers back up over yourselves, feeling the cold seep in once more. Both of your friends kissed perfect adoring kisses into your raw lips, tasting the both of themselves on your skin. While your thighs still stuck with your friend’s cum, it didn’t matter as much now that you had huddled up cozily into their arms.

“Bin, you asshole!!” Hyunjin jested, and flicked the other boy’s forehead. “You fucking finished before you were supposed to!!”

“What the hell was I supposed to do?? I’d already edged myself enough!!”

“You could’ve tried!!”

“Whatever, it felt fucking amazing, don’t blame me.” He added with a smug smirk, “You felt fucking amazing, y/n.”

“Did it feel good for you too, y/n?” Hyunjin gingerly asked, falling right back to his soft and adorable composure that you knew well.

“Like Bin said, it was fucking amazing.”

“So we all agree then? We won’t forget that this happened?”

You gave Hyunjin a little nod to say yes, and your group of three hugged eachother even closer. You hadn’t noticed it, but at some point, Hyunjin’s music had turned off.

“So, this means that we’re like, a thing now?” Changbin asked, playing with the drawstring to your hoodie.

You peppered Hyunjin’s forehead with a tiny kiss. “I’d like to be.”

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck and reached out for Changbin across the expanse. “Me too.”

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

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vrisrezis · 4 years ago

Text

aot characters having a crush + dating hcs (havent proof read sorry for any mistakes)

- she understands that there’s something that draws you to her, however doesn’t fully understand what it is at first

- it’s enough to make her be more interested in you rather than the yeagers

- she believes that it might be your strength that’s overwhelming (and if you have overwhelming strength she is convinced that’s what it is for awhile)

- it is until she sees how Niccolo and Sasha are with eachother does she actually realize that what she feels is love and attraction towards you

- upon realizing this, doesn’t know what to do at first

- she was originally professional, but often kept to your side and felt an odd protectiveness admiration towards you

- now, she was much more casual and more flirtatious

- while acting confident around you, she secretly got butterflies.. you made her ... nervous ..

- nonetheless flirting with you is often, sometimes going as far as to kiss your hand

- she wants to properly court you and get you to return her feelings. She’d feel really bad if you never felt the same. Especially since she isn’t as used to the feeling

- it takes a long time for her to finally ask you out officially, but she does and is pleased by your answer

- however being with yelena isn’t easy, she isn’t one to follow you around like a lost puppy

- she had her motivations, she’s a yeagerist. If you’re not okay with that she isn’t gonna care enough to bother to stay along.

- she feels bad of course, she loves you after all but still

- if she ever had to go against you it hurt her but she would also understand it just needs to be done

- when that mess is over though she is fine with just sticking by your side

- or if you join her it just makes your relationship stronger and better

- doesn’t like pda cuz people might think she’s weak but she’s very soft when you guys are alone though

- lots of smooches from her

- she loves to tease you as well, she can’t help it though..

- she says you’re just so cute she has to bully you a little (more like a lot)

- secretly wants you two to get married so one day she will purpose be prepared for it

- she knows it’s stupid but hey... she has some hope

- secretly feels lucky to be with you even if she doesn’t say it

- doesn’t say that she loves you as often as she’d like, which she feels bad for deep down

- she doesn’t always know how to be vulnerable and express herself, while yes it does happen it takes time

- in a way you are her safe space and you make her calmer

- in a way, you were her hope and her god more than zeke ever was.. and that’s because you allowed to her to feel freedom, to feel love and to feel being loved, you’re more of a god to her now more than .. anyone else

- so maybe she tends to be a bit too protective, and maybe she tends to be very short with others that wanna talk to you because she wants your attention, aaaand maybe she tends to go overboard for you because she believes you saved her...

- so maybe she shows she loves you through actions rather than words

(While I don’t like her in the romantic sense she is my second best girl so I felt it was almost necessary)

- having a crush is always complicated, especially when you’re a kid.

- when you’re a kid as stubborn and prideful as gabi though, it’s even more complicated.

- she doesn’t even realize she likes you either, she’s too into her own head. Too overconfident to think about other people and especially in that way .. she’s oblivious, even to her own emotions

- she can’t help but wanna be around you all the time though, that’s something not even she can ignore

- she tries to impress you often, she will do the dumbest shit just to get you to pay attention to her in some way

- she works harder than normal, falco notices that immediately and catches onto what’s going on

- she tries to act tougher around you, just better in general

- she gets protective of you, when she does something stupid and you follow along she gets really angry and doesn’t understand why

- eventually after a talk with falco, she realizes (finally) that she likes you but never knows how to approach something like that

- eventually works up to the courage to tell you how she really feels about you but it’s really rushed

- is very happy when you guys start dating though

- doesn’t know how relationships should go.. important to keep in mind it’s her first relationship and you guys are just kids

- everyone likes you guys together though

- often grabs your hand, as her way of trying to keep you protected

- she hates getting you involved in her messes but it happens very often and she feels bad about it like everytime

- the first time you kissed she was a blushy mess wow

- yeah you’re the only one that’ll make her so flustered like that

- and it’s easy too, all you gotta do is kiss her cheek, or hand, and she loses it

- she lets you do her hair every morning, ah so today you decided to do her normal look? With the ponytail with some hair down? Or maybe a full on ponytail? Or maybe a little braid, or maybe just leaving her hair down for the day? Yeah who knows! Really she doesn’t care you do her hair everyday now

- speaking of which likes you playing with her hair even if she doesn’t admit it or say much about it

- hugs are often from her but usually when nobody’s around, she’s been through a lot... especially for a 12 year old.. (probably you too), just hug it out y’all

- she has a problem saying that she loves you, not that she doesn’t but she feels almost scared to say it.. like maybe you don’t love her and just like her

- after all, you guys are young.. how would you even know what romantic love is?

- but deep down you both know that nobody else would ever in a million years make you guys feel how you two feel about eachother

- on multiple occasions thought of leaving this all behind with you and falco and just living in a forest or something together but she knows she wouldn’t be happy that way

- she was meant to fight, but she and you make a promise to try not to die in this shitty war

- she will brag about how amazing of a girlfriend she is, but also brag about how you’re a wonderful s/o and how everyone should be jealous of how happy she is

- you know how she screamed while those mfs were getting trampled? Yeah if anyone were to hurt you she screams that kinda crazy ...

- she’s just extremely protective and really doesn’t wanna lose you too:( she’s lost some close friends and she’s scared of losing you as well

- kinda just always sticks to you like glue

- Levi just refers to you as the brats s/o

- real talk though Sasha would’ve adored you guys and been your biggest shipper

- gabi gets embarrassed if anyone says how cute you guys are

( not interested in him romantically either but he is a fav)

- falco realizes quite quickly that he likes you, gabi loves to constantly remind him and tease him to hell about it which is so annoying to him ...

- while he worries about you .. way too often.. if you ever wanted to become a titan he is doing everything he can to make sure it doesn’t happen

- he is extremely blushy and flustered around you like at all times

- he can’t say for certain he’s in love, after all he’s a kid and he knows at that age he has no idea what that shit is but at the same time he’s never felt this way for anyone in his life and he doesn’t think he ever will

- protective of you, especially in battles. Would not hesitate to jump in front of you to save you and take any hits he can for you. He does this for gabi and still does. He’s a protective guy when it comes to you two

- he lacks the confidence to tell you how he feels, he is extremely shy with you

- eventually gabi eggs him on so much that he’s basically forced to ask you out

- he’s relieved you say yes

- he’s even more blushy around you though, and ends up panicking because he’s not sure how he should be around you..

- should he act different? Or the same? Yeah you get it

- he loves holding your hand though, while it does make him die on the inside it makes him happy and warm

- hug him and he will die

- kiss him and he will die like 10 times over

- seriously this boy can’t handle affection without having like a heart attack or something

- gabi just thinks it’s so hilarious

- sometimes gabi purposelessly gets you guys to kiss so he can just die

- he’s an awkward boy but he loves you ... yes he loves you

- he’s way too scared to say it though, what if it’s too soon, what if you laugh, etc.

- will genuinely get mad in a relationship now though if you still wanna be a titan.. before he kept it to himself but he believes he deserves a say now that you’re dating and really hates the idea of your life being shortened

- eventually he admits he loves you, he wants you to live a long life, he wanted you guys to get married someday

- he would have dreams, fantasies, about you guys getting married.. even before you were dating

- it’s how he realized his feelings

- he would have dreams about you all the time

- now he still does, but he can just visit you at night and be by your side

- if he can, he’d like to buy you things and overall spoil you

- or try to take you out on dates as often as he could

- everyone knew about his crush though if we’re being honest he is obvious as fuck

- he would be too shy to hug you, but secretly wants a big hug from you give him a hug you both have been through it

- secretly a clingy boy don’t comment on it he will die

- he just wants to keep you safe and protect you please let him protect you

- she’s a bit of a tsundere let’s be real! She can be a bit mean at times and brush you off

- or just relentlessly tease you

- however she cares about you, she wanted you to live a long life and not get yourself involved in this fucked up shit

- that’s why she for the longest time wanted you in the military police

- and why it’s so obvious to everyone else that she likes you

- she eventually admits her feelings thanks to marlo and she is forever grateful to him for it even after him being gone

- hand holding is often, and gives you a big kiss on the cheek usually

- she’s not shy about her relationship, she wants everyone to know. She doesn’t see it as weakness

- besides she lost an important friend, she wants you to know you’re important to her and that she isn’t ashamed of you or to be with you.

- enjoys teasing you in general, sometimes will tease and call you a perv even if you’re so obviously not being one she loves to embarrass you

- often feels worried whenever she can’t be with you

- she often freaks herself out and thinks something bad might’ve happened to you

- she always tries to be respectful of you and your boundaries, while this is a normal thing to do she really gets worried about overstepping ever and will apologize even when she doesn’t have to

- something about you just makes her more soft and more worried she’s doing something bad or wrong

- protective gal that will kick anybody’s ass for you to keep you safe

- in the world you live in though, kinda necessary isn’t it?

- she tries to take you on dates and even if it isn’t always a common occurrence she tries her best

- kinda wants to baby you sometimes but she also knows how annoyed she’d be if you did so

- she just cannot help but act like a mom sometimes to you, especially if you don’t know how to take care of yourself

- now that you’re dating flirting with you is quite common, she likes to flirt !

- especially if it makes you flustered, all of a sudden she’s a huge flirt now

- overall you make her nervous and flustered, so she wants you to feel the same

- totally used to gush about you to like Annie before you guys started dating, she couldn’t help it! Thankfully Annie found it amusing

- still even after all these years swoons over you like damn how are you so attractive

- still tries to convince you to stop fighting within the survey corps if she can but she knows she can’t at this point with how long it’s been going on you’ve clearly had your mind made up for awhile now

- she wants to start a family with you but doesn’t know how to tell you

- honestly just wants a normal life with you she loves you so much

- (btw, y’all end up having kids named Sasha and marlo <//3)

- she hates the idea of you dying it’s something she thinks about extremely often and she gets nightmares

- she tries to keep that from you, honestly she tries to make herself look strong in front of you like all the time

- she eventually opens up doe

- give her cuddles and hugs ;( plz

- oohhh boy here we go

- if falco was bad enough well here’s armin

- motherfucker dies if you even look his way

- he’s so blushy and so nervous, he cannot help it

- he would eventually get comfortable around you though, and would often talk to you about the sea and things he wanted to explore with you together

- or read books for you to fall asleep to

- it made him happy when you did though, it meant you were comfortable enough to fall asleep around him

- if you ever teased him he wouldn’t know what to say and would just stutter and not get his words out

- in general stutters around you from time to time he can’t help it you make him so nervous

- he told you how he felt of course because of mikasa and eren

- when you guys started dating though, he still didn’t know how to go about romance as it was entirely new to him.

- in a relationship? Not a protective guy let’s be real you’re the one protecting him half the time and he always feels embarrassed about it

- he gets worried easily though, if you’re fighting and tend to be reckless.. it’s easy to be overprotective of a rather weak boy so it’s likely he’s constantly worrying about you .. yeah

- more courage now that you’re dating so if you tease him he may stutter but at least he’ll try to defend himself a bit better

- loves giving you cheek kisses

- shy boy is not for pda but if you wanted it who is he to deny

- likes holding your hand, loves when you hold his hand... man he just loves you so much please

- he probably spent a lot of time talking about you to Annie

- he’s thought about starting a family with you but truly cannot bring himself to talk to you about it, in the world you’re in and the place he holds .. he will just have to wait

- while a smart person, you are somebody he will go to for advice from time to time

- mostly though, he wants to be somebody you can rely on

- spoils you, my god he is such a simp he can’t help but spoil you

- sometimes you’re a distraction he will just stare at you and when he gets caught he’s so embarrassed

- like armin is so obviously in love with you wtf

- he likes being hugged a lot

- often lays his head on your lap and falls asleep he finds it calming

- he’s very sweet, and calls you sweetheart or honey

- he likes to just remind you how much he loves and cares for you, he never wants you to forget.. even if it makes him blushy and embarrassed

- hitch totally teases him about how lame and mushy he can be when it comes to you

- you’re his biggest motivation to finish this war for good

- also he is quite insecure in a relationship but he’s generally insecure asf just reassure him <//3

- what a sweet gal! She loves spending time with you, talking to you about random shit like how your day was and whatnot

- sometimes complains to you about how tough the day was or how hard Levi made her work lol

- or about all the cleaning

- she tells eren about you quite often and even somebody as dumb as eren catches onto her feelings for you

- she’s aware of her feelings.. or eventually becomes aware of them

- she’s not sure initially what to do with them, she’s young but she’s not an idiot and she understands that loving somebody in this line of work isn’t ideal

- she hasn’t truly experienced what others have though, she doesn’t understand the full extent

- so she allows herself to selfishly tell you how she feels

- she’s glad you return them, and if you weren’t already in Levi squad you are now as you show to be an important asset

- often you two will clean together and spend as much time as you can, you keep your relationship mainly secretive

- it’s unprofessional and besides you two might be separated due to Levi’s order

- it’s just best to say you work better together, which you do btw

- while her father believes she’s too young to marry, he does like you nonetheless

- she’s always embarrassed when he brings up the marriage thing and how she’s still young

- the idea of getting married to you just makes her flustered and drives her crazy that’s all

- not for pda, again your relationship is a secret

- Levi catches on, he could care less

- holds your hand mainly, kisses your hand, caresses it ... she loves your hands please

- often jokes around with you, she always did but moreso now that you’re dating

- she likes to tease you a bit but it’s all in good fun, plus bonus points if you get flustered

- she wants to brush and do your hair in the morning (yes even if short)

- she lets you brush and do her hair too though

- in a modern au would totally be the type to make you music playlists and have you listen to them but okay

- she finds comfort in being around you, even in her worst times

- which would’ve saved her tbh

- she tries not to think too much about the future, or a future that could be without you.. she just wants to live in the present with you for now and pretend everything’s gonna be okay

- she’s (mainly cuz of her father) had thoughts about having a normal life with you and getting married and having kids

- she knows that can’t happen, not for a long time :(

- clings to your arm a lot

- she’s good at comforting you

- she’d do anything to keep you from being moody or sad

- she’s also very sappy sometimes

- blushy boy, anytime he’s around you his entire face is filled with an enormous blush that anybody can notice

- while people might not notice things about bertholdt they can at the very least notice his rather obvious crush on you

- if you haven’t made a move by now you either wanna see him do it himself or your oblivious as fuck

- lots of stutters

- probably sweats a little tbh

- stares at you constantly, it’s hard not to notice and Reiner comments on it quite a bit

- if you’re a soldier he definitely feels guilty, but considers taking you back home with Reiner (kinda like ymir with historia)

- he tells you how he feels finally because Reiner keeps egging him about it

- he’s a blushy mess as he confesses, but he’s happy that you say yes

- in a relationship he can be insecure at times, he doesn’t think highly of himself so it’s to be expected

- just reassure him:(

- of course you would know about his secret if you’re a soldier, and you’d have to be okay with it and not expose him. Of course he’ll say his side of the story and all that. It’s likely you take his now

- he’s still a blushy nervous ... and rather obvious boy

- sometimes he just wants to hold your hand but is too shy to but he’s so obvious about it since he keeps staring

- just take this mf hand already

- he’s too shy for a lot of things tbh

- also side note if you’re really short like historia that is so funny to him but he doesn’t say it out loud

- will absolutely swoon if you touch or play with his hair, first of all you’re probably too short to reach his hair so it’s not a common occurrence (or if not, always in public), but also because nobody’s done that before it makes him feel so loved

- after dating for awhile and being a bit more confident he is the type to say I love you often, he can’t help it because he genuinely does love you but sometimes is scared it’ll lose its meaning because he says it so often

- is extremely protective actually, light cause him to make some grave mistakes on the battlefield because of how protective he can be of you

- you in general got him swooning

- he likes to cook for you (back at home?)

- in general would love to just spoil you

- if you do the same he dies

- if you ever compliment him, big blush on his face

- honestly can’t help but talk about you to Reiner, Reiner likes hearing about it though and he’s not annoyed by it because Reiner is a sweet boy that likes hearing his friend be happy

- while he likes you laying on him, likes laying on you more, like your lap or something ..

- he’s a big cuddle baby he wants to be held despite being so tall he is just.. please

- he wants to protect you during the day but at night just wants to feel safe and protected in your arms

- if you were ever threatened, if you are attacked and etc he is gonna be yelling he ain’t going down without a fight

- you make his brain short circuit and you make him stupid

#yelena x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #attack on Titan x reader #bertholdt x reader #gabi x reader #falco x reader #hitch x reader #armin x reader #petra x reader

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hongnanglen-arina · 4 years ago

Text

Forget me not | Hong Joshua

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Joshua x fem reader

Warnings: sick!reader, dementia

Words: 3k

A/N: Hey there! So here it is, my first angsty fic on here. I’m currently going through this myself but writing it down helped me cope with it a bit. Of course having to deal with this syndrome/disease is anything but romantic or nice but i tried to make it less bad if you know what i mean... anyways, i really hope you don’t have to deal with this in rl. Please be healthy!! Love you ♡

Tagged: @love-dreams @seokcalibur

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

The first time Joshua knew that something was off was at your birthday party 5 years ago. When you talked too fast, often times you mixed up the names especially the similar ones. You nearly forgot the cake in the oven. Luckily your cousin noticed it. During the party, he thought you were just too excited or too stressed because you wanted it to be perfect. You’ve always been like this.

But when you were alone in the kitchen after everyone had left, you asked him about the special occasion of the party. You couldn’t remember it was your birthday.

He had laughed and thought it was a joke. But it wasn’t.

The questions increased, more and more random reactions happened until he couldn’t leave you alone anymore.

Once he was at a market with you. It was a lovely saturday afternoon. You two enjoyed those short getaways a lot. You would randomly choose a place up to 3 hours away from your home and would drive there, spent the day or even the whole weekend there and would go back happily as if you had a little vacation. That day you had decided to split up so he could secretly get the little bouquet of roses for you before joining you at the grocery store to help with the bags. The bouquet was placed securely on the backseat of your car when he stepped into the grocery store, looking for you. The store wasn’t too big so he was sure that it wouldn’t take long to find you. No sign of you at the fruit corner, the pastries, alcohol nor the snacks corner. He just couldn’t find you. He even asked the workers to call your name through the speakers because he started to get worried. 5 minutes passed. 10. 15. Still no sign. He didn’t want to bother the busy workers a second time so he made his way back to your rented apartment for the weekend. Maybe you wanted to start preparing dinner because you’ve been always like this. You never wanted to get help if it wasn’t really necessary. This was one of the reasons you two would get into an argument but those never lasted for long.

When Joshua got into the car and drove down the street in the direction of your apartment, he saw you sitting at the bus stop, crying. He immediately stopped the car and ran to you, he thought his heart had stopped beating the second he saw in what kind of state you were.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He tried his best to speak in a calming tone but it was very difficult. Joshua didn’t know what was wrong. What happened. What he missed out on. He was mad at himself that he left you alone, no matter what the reason for your tears was.

Your eyes lightened up a bit when you recognized him beside you on the bench, looking down at his hands which were holding yours, thumbs rubbing soothingly over your cold skin.

“I’m such a bad mother! I forgot to prepare dinner for our kids! I have to go back and cook. They must be hungry and waiting!”

It wasn’t what Joshua was expecting to hear.

Especially because your two children were already living in other cities for work and university. He didn’t understand right away. Again, he thought you made a joke but when his eyes met your glossy ones and he tried to find the right words.

“Love, they aren’t with us anymore. You don’t have to prepare dinner for them.”

This was the wrong choice of words. You started to cry uncontrollably, worse than before. Because you thought they had passed away.

Later on he learned that he had to “play along”. That this would resolve almost every situation with people who were suffering with this syndrome.

The other time you just wanted to throw away the trash. It was just right outside the apartment complex so he thought it would be okay. The big bins were just beside the entrance, in a separate place only residents could enter since the gatekeeper was always around. You didn’t have to go that far, it was still the same building. But what was a task for 10 minutes maximum under normal circumstances became a horrible memory for Joshua and probably you too.

Because you got lost somewhere between leaving and closing the apartment door and the moment Joshua found you. In the hospital.

Until now, he didn’t know what exactly happened on that day. But you got hit by a car when you crossed the street at a red light he was told. Even after asking the gatekeeper, he couldn’t help you because after seeing you, he got a call and didn’t pay attention where you were going after exchanging greetings.

Joshua’s fingers slightly touched your knee, the scars from the accident still evident. He was mad at himself. He thought moving to this place would help you recover and made you happier. In some aspects it did. Living on the 23rd floor with a breathtaking view over the Hangang river and all the nice lights once it got dark outside was something you two had always dreamt of. Being able to take a walk at the park next to the building and having some slice of nature around was exactly what you two wanted in this huge city. Always joked about growing old and admiring the view together.

He never thought it would become like this.

He didn’t know why God had chosen you.

He used to believe that everything happened for a reason. That you would only get good things if you do good.

He was raised to believe in God.

But after everything, it was difficult.

He even caught himself hating God for making you suffer like this.

He just couldn’t help it.

“It’s cold.” Your words pulled Joshua back to reality and he quickly got up to get your favorite blanket. The fuzzy fabric that you fell in love with when you were at an amusement park together a month before you got married. You always took great care to everything and everyone around you so it was no surprise to him that the blanket still looked exactly like it did when he won it for you. Although it hasn’t gotten the same care anymore after you weren’t able to do chores by yourself again. Joshua asked you what your secret was in maintaining it but as much as he tried, he just wasn’t as talented as you.

He wrapped you in your blanket and made sure that you felt warm and cozy before walking over to the open kitchen area to prepare tea. Your favorite organic herbal infusion.

While he was waiting for the water to boil, is eyes traveled to the side and to the wall which was decorated by different photos. Every single one holding a deep meaning.

A selfie taken on a ferries wheel. The moment he confessed his feelings for you. He planned everything to the smallest detail and wanted it to be romantic. Throughout the evening you asked him several times why he was carrying a bigger backpack. The reason was a bouquet of red roses. That day he wasn’t fully himself because he was too nervous but it still worked out. He succeeded. Joshua smiled at the memory.

Beside that was a photo from your wedding. The beautiful dress that you wore was something he had never seen. He was speechless and had to swallow down the tears. He couldn’t believe that he was the lucky guy marrying this ethereal woman in front of him. In this photo your eyes were a little puffy and nose slightly red because you couldn’t help but to cry through half of the ceremony. He could still hear your whines when his best friend asked for a photo. The smile remained on Joshua’s lips while remembering the moment.

Then photos of your children. The first born, then your second 3 years later. Time really passed by too fast because now they weren’t living with you anymore. In fact, your first born would become a father himself in a couple of months.

Joshua looked over to you, the smile changing to a painful expression. He wasn’t sure if you would understand who it is when your son would come over with his baby.

Once the tea was ready, he put everything on a small tray with some fruits and walked back to you.

You were still at your favorite spot. At the table in the dining room which was right in front of a huge window, allowing you to have a beautiful view on the Hangang river and the Paldang bridge. Joshua would catch you smile from time to time, sometimes even getting an answer from you why you were smiling. When there wasn't a smile on your lips, your eyes would be watery as if you had remembered something sad. Every time he would ask you and often times he would be surprised what the cause was. The fact he would randomly learn new things about your past even after knowing you for over 40 years now was surprising to him. But the doctor once told him that those things could also be dreams or wishes that you would mix up with reality. Sadly it was common.

He helped you with the tea, blew over it and held the cup while you took a sip. Every time you would thank him but without saying his name. It was painful but he tried to hold his smile.

“They look like the flowers we have in our garden. They are so beautiful. My mother loves them. Me too.”

Joshua turned around to a painting on the wall. A painting of small flowers, little blue petals with white and yellow centers. Forget-me-nots.

You painted it after getting the diagnosis. At that time, it wasn’t this severe. You were still able to do everything by yourself although you stopped from time to time because you weren’t able to remember what you wanted or why you were doing something. But the both of you were scared of the future.

It wouldn’t just go away after some time like a flu. There was nothing you could do, no antidote. Just medication which would temporarily improve the symptoms, distracting you from the real process. You knew that one day it would become so bad that you may hurt him.

The reason you painted the flowers was because you wanted to break up with him. You wanted a divorce. Not because you stopped loving him, it was because you loved him. You hated to ask for help. You hated to bother people, especially him. People who meant the world to you. You wanted him to live his life without you as a burden because dementia meant you would need help until the very end.

You wanted to give him the painting as a gift, like a symbol of your time together. That you were thankful for everything and hoped he would keep all the good memories in his heart. You didn’t want him to hate you and you really hoped he would understand. If not now, then later. The divorce would give him the freedom he deserved. He shouldn’t see you miserably and take care of you when you can’t recognize him anymore.

That was the biggest fight you two had.

Joshua was more than hurt of the decision you had made alone. But he wasn’t the only one in pain and he saw it in the way you were shaking as you tried to explain everything. He knew that something was wrong with you some weeks prior to your fight where the bomb dropped. You didn’t eat normally, you denied his ideas for a night out, you didn’t smile as much as you used to. You just avoided his love and wanted to be alone more and more.

In the end he convinced you to stay. Joshua told you that he swore to care for you until his last breath. To be there for you in good but also in bad times. He would be understanding if the syndrome would mess with your brain or body again. It was his purpose to be there for you. He loved you. Just as much as you needed him, he needed you as well. Even if that meant to be in the situation he was in right now.

"You really sing so beautifully. You should become a singer!"

That's what you would say every day after he played the guitar or sang his favorite song for you. And his reply would be the same as well, every day.

"Believe me or not but I was a famous singer once.”

And you would always giggle and think that he made a joke. But it wasn’t.

Joshua was 2 years older than you but then again, healthy. Unlike you who was suffering from dementia.

He knew you didn't do it on purpose but it always hurt him so much, he had no word to describe the pain. Knowing you weren't able to remember all the happy moments you two went through made his heart ache. No matter how often he told you about your adventures, your experiences and life lessons, you would forget about it right after. But he still did it again and again. At least he had a lot to tell you about and somehow it was a way of not forgetting it himself. Some kind of therapy for himself. But often times he struggled because he couldn't remember it clearly and it was always a lonely feeling as you couldn't help or correct him.

Joshua checked the secure on the wheels of your wheelchair, making sure it wouldn’t move. He slowly got up to his feet to turn on the heater on the other side of the room. It was getting cold inside and the tea was gone already.

When he first heard about dementia, he thought it was losing memory only. But as he educated himself more and more, he learned that it could also mean the loss of mobility and the loss of speech.

Luckily the latter hasn’t happened yet and he prayed it would stay that way.

That was one of the reasons he believed in God again.

He felt selfish but he had nowhere to go. No place to let everything out.

When he prayed to God again, he felt bad and pathetic at first but it gave him the strength he needed.

He prayed that you wouldn’t be in too much pain.

He mentioned his gratitude for still being with you.

He was thankful for the chance to be a good husband to you.

Absentmindedly, his fingers found his cross necklace. You weren’t in a good state and of course everything could be better without dementia but being there for each other must be the life lesson here. Even without a marriage, being with the person you love and supporting each other was one of the most important things in life. He didn’t know how it would be, if the tables were switched between the two of you. Maybe that was why Joshua understood your idea of the divorce although he decided against it. If he would have to choose again, his decision would be the same.

He didn’t want a life without you.

After turning on the heater, he joined you again.

He was watching you smile with tears in your eyes.

He asked you what was wrong but you didn't react, instead your gaze was fixated on something outside the window. He wanted to help. He wanted to turn back time but he couldn't. His wish was impossible to become true.

Joshua reached forward, grabbing two clementines from the tray he had brought earlier and started peeling them for you. You two used to do it for the other when everything was still okay. Before the drastic change had started. Now you've never done it for him again but it would never stop him from doing it for you.

Carefully taking your hand and placing the peeled fruits in it, you made a surprised noise, giving him a soft smile.

"How do you know I like them? Say, what's your name?"

He tried to smile back. The same question he would hear every day.

Leaning forward, he gently rubbed your arm through the blanket. "My name is Joshua." ...and I'm your husband, he added in his thoughts.

You pulled out your arm from under the blanket and carefully touched his hair, letting the fingertips graze his cheeks until he grabbed your hand and kept your hand like this, leaning in your palm and closing his eyes for a second before placing your hand back down in your lap. You still wore his bracelet. The one he made for you with pastel colored beads.

Every day you would ask where you got it from but Joshua made sure to tell you about it every time he heard this question. At least you two would always have topics to talk about, he always told himself.

“You are so kind to me.”

Your soft voice made him look up to you and then he saw it in your eyes. He saw that deep down you haven't completely forgotten about him and that was all he needed. That was what kept him going, day after day. You were and will always be the love of his life after all.

And that would never change. Never.

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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 4 years ago

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What I would’ve done w/ Lotor’s character

It’s not exactly a secret to anyone who’s been following me for a while that I’m not the biggest fan of canon Lotor. I had high hopes for the character from his 80s counterpart and intro in season 3 but I was really let down by the direction the writers went with him in canon.

When he was introduced, I was so hoping for him to be this cocky manipulative asshole that’s only out for himself. I love that character archetype so goddamn much.

But in canon he was just kinda boring to me. His personality was bland and his motivations never really made sense. He’s introduced using empty promises of peace and comradery to manipulate people, then its revealed that he actually does want peace and comradery and wants to lead a peaceful empire, then that turns into draining Alteans and wanting to kill all Galra...

I also didn’t like how the writers decide to tack on this whole child abuse plot to explain why he was the way he was. As if that’s the only way to make a villain sympathetic. Yeah other versions of Voltron have touched on Lotor’s childhood before and it was never pleasant, but VLD really leaned into that shit, to the point where it felt like the writers were just shoving angst down our throats thinking that equals good writing.

It takes more than a tragic backstory to make a character compelling. It takes an interesting personally and motivations that make sense. And you can make a character tragic/sympathetic in more subtle ways.

For me personally, I wanted Lotor to be a sorta fusion of Loki and Littlefinger in space.

Loki is a sly trickster who grew up feeling like an outcast, unaware of his true heritage. He grew up believing he could be king but when his shity father handed it to his perfect brother he felt he had been robbed and decided to take the throne by force.

Littlefinger is a small man from a small house with no power, and after getting the shit beat out of him trying to win the hand of the girl he loved, he decided he would use his intelligence and skills in manipulation to screw over all these noble lords and weasel his way into the throne. And when he did he would finally get vengeance on all those who had looked down on him.

I feel like this fits Lotor well. Lotor is a prince, so he isn’t small in that regard, but he is not respected in the way a prince should be.

He is a lot smaller than the average Galra. And even though Lotor is still quite strong, developing a fighting style that suits his small form and uses his opponents size against them, in a society so heavily based on physical strength that’s still a big blow to your rep.

He employs half breeds, which we know are looked down on in the empire. And there are definitely rumors about Lotor himself being a half breed. I think after 10,000 years Zarkon would’ve done a pretty good job at hiding Lotor’s heritage from the public but just looking at him compared to the average Galra there’s going to be some suspicion there. On that note Lotor is probably considered butt ugly by the Galra.

And Lotor works in the shadows and achieves his goals through lies and trickery, which Lotor himself says are things the empire looks down on.

So yeah, the people in the empire hate Lotor. Even Sendak who’s all ‘Gung ho empire’ has no respect for Lotor. And because of this it would probably be up in the air whether or not Lotor would even be allowed to take the throne if his father were to pass, even though it’s his birthright.

And in the face of all this rampant disrespect, Lotor decides that he is going to overthrow his father and take the throne. And when he does he will take vengeance on everyone who had ever undermined him and expand the empire beyond anything his father could’ve dreamed of.

And don’t try telling me, “oh that’s so out of character! Lotor would never take pleasure in the pain of others!” Because he does.

Remember Throk? Remember how Lotor sent him away to the worst station in the empire and joked about letting him, “rot with the ice worms?” Remember how Lotor later invaded his station then watched with a grin as he was tortured by Haggar?

Lotor 100% takes pleasure in hurting those who would hurt him, because it makes him feel powerful.

Now let’s talk about Lotor’s planet. The one given to him and destroyed by Zarkon. I always felt weird about this plot. Obviously it’s a very sad thing to have happen, but I always liked the idea of Lotor’s promises of peace to be empty, a means of manipulating people. So this whole situation being genuine feels weird to me.

In my version, Lotor didn’t get banished for being too kind. He got banished because Zarkon caught him in a plot to betray him.

When Lotor was put in charge of the planet, he seduced and married the princess Ventar. He filled her head with promises that her people would be free and they would rule the universe together and convinced her to secretly round up her armies and send word to her ally planets to do the same, so they could start planning a way to overthrow Zarkon.

It’s left ambiguous whether or not he was being genuine and whether he really loved Ventar and intended to keep his promises to her or if she was just a tool to get the throne. But either way, it ends the same. Zarkon finds out, destroys the planet, kills Ventar, and exiles Lotor.

Still sad/humiliating thing for Lotor, and definitely a story that could gain sympathy from Allura.

Speaking of Allura and Ventar, let’s talk about Lotor’s relationship with the women in his life.

(Trigger Warning: Brief mention of of a rape scene in GoLion)

In the 80s Lotor was incredibly misogynistic. He walked around with a harem of half naked women, tried repeatedly to kidnap and marry Allura against her will, and in GoLion it’s heavily implied that he raped Romelle because she looked like Allura.

It’s a common joke in the fandom that he went from this to drinking respect women juice in VLD but I don’t know if I’d go that far.

He’s definitely better in VLD than he was in the 80s, but even in VLD he manipulates, uses, and hurts most of the women in his life.

Allura is the obvious example, but you also have his generals. Acxa talks to the paladins, Allura in particular, about how persuasive Lotor could be. Implying that she and the other general were manipulated the same way Allura was.

Well not EXACTLY the same way Allura was, romantically I mean. Though there are people who believe that Acxa was also in love with Lotor and he used that to his advantage, which I can see.

But I feel like it was more about giving them a place in an empire that didn’t care about or accept them.

I hate The Last Jedi but I really feel like the line, “you’re nothing, but not to me,” fits really well. They were outsiders with no place to go until Lotor swooped in and gave them a purpose.

Do I think that there was a part of Lotor that genuinely wanted to help them because he saw a kindred spirit in them? Yeah. But I also think that at the end of the day, they were more tools than real friends. And he had no qualms about killing them if they betrayed him.

The situation with Narti proves that. As well as the fact that Ezor and Zethrid seemed very scared of the prospect of Lotor being alive and coming for them.

And then you have Allura. Lotor’s lust for Allura has always been a very important part of his character. In the 80s the reason behind his obsession with her was that he had a lot of baggage about his mother and had a thing for women that looked like her. Also the fact that he just didn’t like not getting something he wanted.

There was never any love. He didn’t want to be with her, he wanted to own her.

In VLD, his want for Allura seems to stem more from the fact that she’s Altean than an Oedipus complex. As well as the fact that she’s powerful and skilled in Altean alchemy, which makes her rather useful.

I don’t personally believe that Lotor ever really Loved Allura. I think he liked the idea of her and what she could do for him, but the end of the day she was more a means to an end than anything else.

Allura’s been trough a lot. Zarkon betrayed her family and destroyed her entire planet only about a year ago from her point of view, and she appears to have a pretty bad case of survivors guilt and PTSD. And to make matters worse, while Lotor was on the ship she was fighting with Shiro, someone she clearly cared about. The idea of loosing him after already losing so much must’ve been really painful.

She was hurting, conflicted, and lonely. Which made her all the more vulnerable to Lotor’s manipulation.

He took advantage of her loneliness and insecurities, making her believe she had found someone who understood her and could help her avenge her family and planet. She trusted him, let herself be vulnerable around him, which made it hurt even more when it was revealed to all be a ruse.

And then you have his relationship with his mother Honerva/Haggar.

I talked a lot about this in my whole rewrite/rant about Honerva, but I’m not a fan of how they made their relationship 100% negative. I feel like it robs the show of a lot of interesting character interaction.

It’s sad. The whole relationship is really tragic. Shit like this is literally my worst nightmare. The thought of looking my mom in the face and have her not recognize me as her daughter keeps me up at night.

But the thing is, in canon the relationship kinda falls flat because Lotor and Haggar/Honerva have no connection. Haggar was awful to Lotor and Lotor hates Haggar. What reason do I have to be invested in their relationship?

So If you haven’t read my Honerva rant, here’s how I would’ve done the Honerva Lotor relationship.

10,000 years ago, when Alfor came to Dibazzal to convince Zarkon to close the rift, Honerva went into labor. Alfor and many Galran doctors tried there best to save her and the baby, but the quintessence had damaged her body so much that she couldn’t be saved and died in childbirth.

Zarkon went ballistic and Alfor had the doctors take baby Lotor somewhere safe, fearing Zarkon would take his grief and anger out on the child.

After Honerva was resurrected as Haggar and throughout Lotor’s childhood, they had a strange sort of relationship. Lotor was an inquisitive child and was always curious about Haggar and her work, making a habit of following her around like a little shadow and watching as she worked. And there was also the fact that, while his father was never friendly, he was calmer when she was around.

Haggar had no idea what to make of this weird child following her around all the time. All these big strong Galra were terrified of her but this tiny child showed no fear as he tugged on her robes and excitedly asked questions about her work. And she never minded. She didn’t know why or how to explain it, but she cared for the child. As much as a soulless undead witch could care for something anyway.

But as time went on there relationship became more and more strained. Lotor was a smart kid he was gonna find out about his mother and deduce what happened to her.

He resented Haggar. Resented her for not remembering him. Resented her for the fact that he had to go through life without a mother while she was right there. And he resented her for being loyal to Zarkon, who had been making his life hell for thousands of years.

Every time she showed him something resembling kindness he’s conflicted. He knows he should feel happy that she cares, but at the same time, why does she care? It’s not like she sees him as her son.

He turned to denial, insisting that Haggar couldn’t possibly be his mother, even though he new the truth deep down, and a part of him always secretly longed for her to remember who she was, who he was, and embrace him as her son. He hates that part of himself.

And when he does meet Honerva for the first time, it’s... tense... to say the least. Having his mother reach out to him and acknowledge him as her son is something he thought would bring him joy, but in that moment all the pain he went through rises back to the surface and he lashes out. He draws his sword and is about to cut her down but he hesitates. He’s trembling with tears in his eyes. He can’t forgive her, but he also can’t bring himself to kill her.

Then you have his relationship with his father.

It’s no secret that Zarkon is an awful man and a shity father, always has been.

The explanation as to why is kinda shaky. All we get is Zarkon saying Lotor is his greatest shame because he’s Altean but I don’t know about that. Zarkon may hate Alteans but he loved Honerva and I don’t think he would be ashamed of his relationship with her.

He definitely did his best Lotor’s heritage from the public. But I don’t think that’s the reason he hates him.

In my version of the story, Zarkon hates Lotor because Honerva died giving birth to him and Zarkon blames him for her death. He lost his beloved wife and was forced to watch the son that killed her waltz around wearing her face.

It didn’t help that Lotor was a snarky rebellious kid that liked to show off. He did things his own way, didn’t care much for rules, and had a real knack for finding loopholes. All things that made his strict father very angry. He was an embarrassment. Small and rebellious. That’s why Zarkon began training Sendak.

I personally believe the reason Zarkon was so trusting of Sendak and had so much faith in him was because Zarkon had been grooming him to be his “true heir.” Sendak is the epitome of what a Galra should be. Strong, loyal, and brave. He would be the son Zarkon wished he had. The favorite child.

Lotor obviously hates Zarkon, and rightfully so. Zarkon hates him for something he had no control over and constantly disrespects him.

Lotor may not follow the rules, but he passes every trial. He excels at everything he does but Zarkon refuses to see that all because he blames him for Honerva’s death.

Lotor sees Zarkon as an old fool. He knows that he could do a far better job at running the empire.

Lotor dedicated thousands of years of his life to overthrowing Zarkon. His hatred for his father was his motivation, what got him out of bed every morning, so when the deed is done and Zarkon was finally defeated, in the moments after he felt empty.

But he didn’t have time to dwell on that feeling for long. He still had to deal with his father’s men and take the throne that was rightfully his.

Then you have his plan.

Lotor’s plan in VLD is really weird and over complicated. There was no real reason for the whole draining Alteans thing. Just a lazy way of making him 100% evil.

The plot could’ve been a lot simpler. He gains the paladins trust, gets them to help him build his ships and overthrow Zarkon, and then once he has the throne he pulls an Uno reverse card and is like, “yeah, nothing personal but this was all a trick and imma lock you and your lions up now.”

Obviously more complicated than that but that’s the basic idea.

One of my main problems with VLD is that they had a bad habit of over complicating the plot. People don’t care about VLD because of the plot, they care about the characters and their relationships, the actual plot doesn’t have to be anything spectacular.

It’s strange to say but I feel like the writes tried too hard with Lotor. He had the potential to be an amazing villain but the writers were too focused on tricking the audience and making him angsty that they forgot to make him compelling.

#Voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #prince lotor #Lotor #emperor zarkon #zarkon #haggar #honerva #princess allura #Allura #acxa #ezor #Zethrid #narti #galra #vld critical #discourse #sincline

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writingsfromhome · 4 years ago

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Seaside Surprise

A/N: trying a fluffy fic, Y/N and Harry attend a cousin's wedding and you wonder when it's going to be your turn.

"Ms. Y/L/N?" My assistant pokes her head into my office. She has on the type of grin on her face that I know what she's going to say. "Your boyfriend's here."

"Of course he is," I decide I wasn't going to finish this report tonight after all. I asked Harry to wait in the car but of course he came up and charmed his way to my department. Not that my department minded, they were always bursting to see him. "Tell him I'll be a moment."

I slide my laptop into its case and do a quick touch up before heading out. "Hey," I give him a loving smile but my eyes are warning him.

"Hello love," he purposely ignores my warning and gives me a peck. "You've got a lovely staff."

I can practically hear the swooning so I just grab his jacket and haul him off the chair. "They're all very lovely. Let's go before we're late. Happy weekend everyone!"

"Bye ladies," Harry stays behind and rushes to catch up. He puts his hand on the small of my back as he reaches me. "Jealous?"

"No, I just don't know why you lead them on whenever you come up here."

"Well they know their boss is my girlfriend," Harry tugs me to him and kisses the top of my head. "It's nice getting to know the people you work with."

"If that's what you want to call it," I give up on the argument. "Do you think we'll get there by 6?"

"Traffic's not as bad if we hurry, rehearsal dinner's at 7 so that's the latest."

As we step into the lift and go down to the parking garage, I think about the destination ahead. A cousin of mine was getting married, they'd rented out this old castle where a lot of the guests were staying. It sounded magical--getting married in a castle.

I look at Harry, who's backing out and starting the two hour journey there. We met a few years ago and aside from some uncertainty at the beginning, we've been going strong for four years. We talked about kids and our dream weddings but I never fully knew whether he wanted to get married. Or if he was one of the don't fix what isn't broke type. I've always secretly wanted the big wedding so I never asked Harry in case he didn't want that. It would be crushing.

"What are you so quiet about?" Harry glances over.

"Oh just thinking, about the wedding tomorrow. Dinner tonight. I'm going to see a bunch of my family, that stuff."

"Hm," he hums. To avoid further conversation I turn on the radio and settle in for the drive.

***

With traffic we barely make it for 7, having just enough time to look decent before heading to the dining hall. I'm excited seeing all my family and I tear up as we all gather around and catch up over dinner. We're given reminders for tomorrow and the timeline even though we all had the schedule sent to our phones.

"Are you crying again?" Harry leans in. All night he stayed by my side, his arm around me or his hand on my knee. It was comforting having him by my side.

"I'm trying not to," I dab at my eyes with the napkin. "I'm just so happy for everyone."

Harry squeezes my thigh, "You're such a romanticist as much as you deny it."

I look up at him, my heart skips a beat like we were young lovers. I felt incredibly lucky to have him and I want to tell him so I kiss him. "I am. And I'm glad you're here."

"Get a room!" One of my cousins shouts as Harry's about to respond. We break apart laughing and they tease us until we're visibly flustered. What was family for after all.

Later that night as I pin up my wet hair to sleep in, Harry sits up in bed and watches. "Is that for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, so I have nice curls in the morning. The ones you like."

"Hmm, you'll look beautiful tomorrow whatever way you do your hair." Harry says. "Even if you cut off all your hair. I would still love the way you look."

By then I was done so I get into bed beside Harry. "Is that what you want me to do? For me to cut off all my hair?"

Harry cups my face and presses a gentle kiss on my lips. He leans back and I watch his eyes on me. His thumb strokes the side of my face, when it was just the two of us like this. Quiet and alone, with Harry's undivided attention on me, I couldn't help but feel shy. So I grab his hand off my face and thread my fingers through his to have something to do. He finally responds, "I want you to do what you want."

"Well...what do I want..." I think.

"What do you want?" Harry asks back. And I have a feeling we weren't talking about hairstyles anymore. I look away, could he sense the lead up go the wedding has me thinking about him and I. Where we were headed?

"A nice holiday from work, away from the city. A cute puppy, maybe three. Hm what else...world peace, a nicer boyf-"

Harry cuts me off before I could get to the joke. He kisses me so hard I forget anything else I was going to say.

***

The next morning is blurry chaos and I hardly believe I'm standing at the front watching my cousin walk down the aisle in her beautiful ivory dress. I can't help it, I tear up as my heart overflows when she reaches the front and I scan the crowd for my own love. Harry also has tears in his eyes and he's beaming at me. I smile through the tears and focus my attention to the front.

As soon as the newly married couple walk down the aisle the bridesmaids burst into tears. We hug each other, we were all so happy. I find Harry in the crowd and both of our mushy romantics feelings are just heightened by everyone else. Being in love never felt so good than at a wedding surrounded by everyone you do love.

I tell Harry I'll catch up later, heading off with the bridesmaids to help the bride change for the reception.

"So when is Harry going to pop the question?" My cousin asks as I hold her dress in my hands. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Four years," I say self consciously. My cousin dated her husband for two years before he proposed.

"Do you want to get married?" One of the bridesmaid asks.

"Duh," my cousin answers for me. "Y/N remember when we were kids and we made flower crowns and pretended to have fairy weddings?"

"Oh my god," The memory rushes forward. "I forgot about that."

"That's what adulthood does," someone else says. "Makes you forget all your dreams."

"Well it's not like we haven't talked about it," I feel like I have to defend Harry. "It just hasn't been the right time."

"After three years, any time is the right time." Someone else says. I try to brush off but the comments stay with me. Was there something wrong with us, with me, that Harry wasn't proposing?

Halfway through the reception, I catch Harry talking to the groom and I wait around but he doesn't notice so I interrupt them. They both look guilty.

"Hey, congrats, welcome to the family!" I hug the groom but eye them both. "Why do you two seem suspicious?"

"We do?" Harry asks. "You need to let loose, let's dance."

I keep an eye on him but he acts normal, pulling me onto the sparse dancefloor. He tries to make me laugh with his dancing and eventually I give in.

"What's wrong?" He asks later, as the songs slow down. I rest my head on his shoulder, so he doesn't see my face. He always knew when I was lying.

"Nothing," I lie.

"Something's been bothering you since we drove here yesterday. What is it?" Harry asks again.

I sigh. "It's nothing! Just leave it."

Harry doesn't say anything, he just holds me closer. I feel selfish and ungrateful. I had a man who loved me holding me close but I wanted more. Just because everyone couldn't stop commenting on our love life.

Harry tries to cheer me up and I try my best but my mood from the morning shines through only so much. Harry doesn't push it though, even when I crawl into bed while he showers and pretend to fall asleep when he gets out. He just leaves me with a kiss on my cheek and falls asleep beside me.

***

"Morning," Harry says as I wake up groggy and tired from all the dancing in heels I did last night. Harry is up, and ready.

"When did you get up?" I sit up.

"Not too long ago."

"You're dressed," I point out.

"And starving! Get dressed we can get breakfast. We have to be out of here by noon."

I move like a snail, trying to work up the energy for the day. It's sad to say goodbye to everyone, it was rare for everyone to be in the same place at the same time and I was going to miss it. We get back on the road by 11. The breeze whips my hair around but I close my eyes and embrace the beautiful weather.

"Having fun?" Harry asks but I can barely hear him in the roar of the wind.

"Country air really is superior," I sit back inside. I notice we were still on back roads. "Are you sure we're going in the right direction?"

"Yes, I've got the maps pulled up."

"I think we're lost," I lean towards the phone but it shows we're on the mapped path. "Harry pull over we should look at this again."

"Y/N, we're not lost."

"Because you know this area so well? We're supposed to be on main roads by now!"

"We'll get there," Harry says calmly and it frustrates me how calm he was. I just knew we weren't heading right.

"Just pull over, at least we can know for sure."

"Just trust me, we're not lost."

"Oh my god," I look around us. "You're being really bloody stubborn Harry! I know this town and we're not driving through it like we should."

Harry doesn't respond. Like I was an annoying fly buzzing about. I cross my arms and look out the window. "If we get lost, don't ask me for help." I say my final piece and decide to ignore him back. He had the audacity to chuckle at me. I want to take my seatbelt off and strangle him with it!

As we drive further and further in the wrong direction, a cooler breeze filters into the windows.

"I think we're by the water," I sit up, my fight forgotten.

"How do you know?" Harry asks.

"Because I'm part mermaid and I know we're going in the wrong bloody direction!"

"You're so impatient," Harry mutters just as he takes a turn and a parking space comes into view. Were we headed here the whole time?

I look at Harry who has a secret smile on his face. As soon as he parks I take off his sunglasses to read him better.

"Where are we?" I can't hide the excitement. Did he plan a surprise getaway?

"You'll see," Harry walks out and opens my door for me. He holds my hand as we make our way in his direction.

"I've never been here before, when did you plan this?" I continue asking as we walk further.

"I have to cover your eyes," he says. He pulls out his tie from the wedding and I close my eyes. When I open them, it's completely dark except for a small sliver of light on the top. I listen out for Harry's distinct voice.

"Just keep walking," he instructs. "Hold my hand, you'll probably fall if you don't."

"I probably will," I laugh. "You should've told me about this, I would've packed a picnic."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise," Harry squeezes my hand. "Okay stand here and don't take it off until I say so." His sentence fades out as he moves behind me. My heart was racing on our walk here but now it's beating out of my chest, this was why I sort of hated surprises. It made my palms slick and heart race like I was on a roller coaster.

I strain to hear Harry, the sea laps gently to the right and I can't stop my foot from tapping away in anticipation.

"Take it off," Harry says. I push it off and my breath catches.

A picnic is laid out with two baskets and a bottle on ice. But it's the chalkboard propped up in the sand that catches me by surprise. I read it, twice: marry me?

I gasp and turn around, Harry kneels on one knee and in his hands is a small velvet box, a gorgeous diamond nestled in the cloth.

"Y/N, I don't know why it took me so long to finally ask you. But will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me?"

My voice gets stuck in my thoat as my eyes water. I just nod, that's all I could do. I drop down in front of him and pull him in, the burst of tears following suite. As he wraps his arms around me. I finally find my voice, "Yes! Of course a million yesses! I though you...I never thought you'd ask. When did you plan all this?!"

I can feel Harry's laugh. He pulls me apart, I didn't even care I probably had snot and tears on my face because the man I love takes my hand and slips the ring on my finger. I was his to-be forever. He wanted to marry me! And all my fretting over the weekend was for no reason!

"I've been planning this for weeks. I found this place and your family helped set it up this morning that's why I was up so early." He points to the distance and two people stand there waving with their cameras.

"Oh my god Harry, this is the happiest day of my life," I kiss him with everything in me. He made me so happy. I can't believe I doubted us.

"Mine too," he slowly leans me back onto the picnic blanket but I remember my family and push him off. He laughs at my embarassment. "I'll tell them to leave. Then we can have our fun?"

"Hurry back," I watch him run in their direction. They end up walking back worh him. to drop off his camera and to say congrats. As soon as they disappear into the horizon I climb onto Harry's lap and just hold his face. "You make me the happiest girl in the world. The entire universe. I love you so so so much." I kiss him with ever "so".

"Just me and you against the world forever," Harry whispers.

"Sounds perfect." I whisper back.

Harry's eyes are shining. We could hardly contain our feelings for each other, how happy we were. I lean back and form my hands into a rectangle frame. I pretend to capture it which makes Harry laugh and pull me back to him, "Just come here so I can kiss my fiancée."

My heart soars just hearing the word.

#Harry Styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #fic #one shot

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chaoticpuff17 · 4 years ago

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A Dangerous Game

part 25

masterlist

Hello darlings! guess who finished her paper! This bitch! This one’s a little short again, my apologies, but we are inching ever closer to the inevitable for Y/N and Namjoon. Again, please take a look at the teasers for the hyung line. I would love to know opinions on who you all think I should write for next! Comment, ask, send me a message! I’d love to hear from you!-- chaotic puff

The next few weeks were oddly reminiscent of her first weeks at the estate. She was never alone. It was a though everyone around her thought she was going to break, and maybe she had. Her world had been turned on its head, and suddenly she felt every bit the fragile lady that Namjoon had made her out to be. Jackson’s betrayal had hit her hard leaving her far more listless than normal. It was as though all the fight had gone out of her. But just because she was listless, this did not mean that the estate was as well.

Everything around her was bustling in preparation for the upcoming wedding. Due to her “fragile” condition, Namjoon had taken all the planning in hand. There were a constant stream of his people going in and out of the estate. Cake tasting and floral arrangements, tuxedo fittings, and anything else you could think of. It was as though Namjoon was determined to have everything arranged as quickly as possible, before either she or GOT7 could change their minds. She doubted though that anyone changing their minds would stop him. He was a formidable man in more than one way she was finding. She didn’t think that she had ever seen a man take wedding preparations quite so seriously.

She didn’t know how he had the energy to do it all. He was running his criminal empire, planning a wedding, and he still found time to spend doting on her. She swore there was something new every day, flowers, deserts, jewelry, books. All the affection was a little smothering, and when Namjoon wasn’t with her one of his goons was. She had hoped Jungkook’s return would mean a return to his being her babysitter, but that was unfortunately not the case. She had a stream of different babysitters, the most daunting of whom was Hoseok.

While she had a preexisting dislike of Taehyung based on his being the one to place the anklet on her, and Yoongi was a decided grump, something about Hoseok unnerved her. The man was a ball of sunshine, most of the time. But there were moments where the sunshine faded away, and in its place was a darkness very much akin to Namjoon’s. At least Namjoon wore his darker nature like a second skin. He was a predator through and through. Hoseok’s darkness was hidden under a carefully cultivated layer of sunshine. If Namjoon was the wolf, then Hoseok was the snake hiding in the grass, and in this game she was only prey. With Namjoon she knew what to expect, but Hoseok was like a pipe bomb without a timer. You never knew when he was going to go off. Her discomfort didn’t seem to dissuade him from following Namjoon’s orders though. On days he was assigned to her, where she went, he followed to every fitting, cake tasting, and walk through the garden.

She was sitting in the garden basking in the autumn sun taking a break from the constant stream of wedding plans, completely exhausted. Luckily her guard for the day had to be the most laid back out of all of them. Yoongi was just as content as she was to bask in the sunshine doing nothing. If someone had told her that he was secretly a cat, she probably would have believed them. The man had a very feline quality to him, but she found him to be a very calming presence despite his grumpy demeanor. He spent the least time of all her minders treating her like a doll that would break if not handled with care.

“You’re getting married next week.” He pointed out as she waved off one of the maids telling her that her dress had arrived. “Shouldn’t you be more excited?”

“I would be, if I actually wanted to marry the man.” She scoffed taking a sip of her tea.

“You agreed to this.” He deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes leveling him a look that was just as deadpan as the one he was giving her. “That was before I found out Jackson was still in the mafia, and that sacrificing myself for him was useless, before his friends sold me off like it was the 1400s.”

“Want me to shoot him?” He asked taking a drink from his coffee. She could swear the man survived on coffee alone.

She laughed though it held no joy. It a bittersweet sort of sound. “Do you think it would help? Would it magically send me home or send me back in time to before I met Namjoon?”

“No.” He shrugged. “But I’m a really good shot.”

And he was. Yoongi was an excellent shot. She’d found out from Taehyung and Jungkook that Yoongi was a sniper, an assassin, a fixer. He took care of problems for Namjoon. If someone got on Namjoon’s bad side, Yoongi was the one that paid them a visit.

“You wanna marry Namjoon then? That would make me feel better.” He snorted shooting her an unimpressed look. “Yeah, didn’t think so.”

She shivered as a stiff autumn breeze went through her. Almost immediately a maid was there offering her a shawl. She took it only because she knew that the maid was only trying to help. Namjoon had given everyone strict orders to take care of her which translated to the hovering she had been living with for the past few weeks.

“You could have all this. People waiting on you hand and foot.” She tried to convince him as she wrapped the shawl loosely around her shoulders only slightly annoyed that Namjoon had given one the maids a shawl to hover over her with that perfectly matched the dress that she had chosen to wear that day. He was annoyingly meticulous like that.

“They already do that.”

“Only ‘cause they’re scared you’ll break their kneecaps.”

“Too much effort.” He shrugged slouching down in his seat. “You should go try on your dress though. Namjoon will throw a hissy fit if it doesn’t fit, and I don’t want to deal with that.”

“You and I both know that Jin or Hoseok would be dealing with that tantrum.” She reminded him. Jin and Hoseok were the poor souls to deal with the brunt of what could only be described as Namjoon’s pre-wedding jitters. She wasn’t supposed to know about them, but Jin, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook had no qualms about complaining about their perfectionist boss and friend to her so she heard every detail of his almost manic pursuit of perfection for their wedding day.

“Think of Jin hyung.”

“Jin can give him a sedative and do us all a favor.” She hummed gently pushing herself out of her seat and moving over to examine the flowers that were in bloom. “Besides we both know that he wouldn’t allow the dress to be anything less than perfect. I’m pretty sure he threatened the poor seamstress with a bullet through her skull if she didn’t make sure everything was perfect.”

“If you took more interest in your wedding, maybe he wouldn’t be so stressed.”

“If I took more interest in this sham of a wedding, it would give him far too much pleasure.”

Yoongi chuckled finishing off his cup of coffee. “He’s excited to have a legal claim to you, can’t say that I blame him.”

“You want to marry me too, Yoongi?” She asked throwing him a coquettish look over her shoulder.

“No. You’re far too much trouble. But you’re good for him.”

“I’d stab him in a heartbeat given the chance, and you know it.”

“You already have.” He pointed out. “You weren’t aiming for him though. Planning to try again?” He inquired quirking a brow at her.

She was going to answer him, but a different maid made her presence known carrying in a bouquet of pink and white peonies. “Bu-in, the sajangnim sent these for you. Where would you like them?”

She sighed giving Yoongi a long suffering look before turning a tired smile on the poor maid. “Put them in the piano room please. I don’t think the bedroom has any more room for flowers.”

“Yes, bu-in.” She bowed scurrying away to place the flowers where she was directed to.

“You can tell your friend to stop sending gifts. I don’t have any need for diamonds, and if he doesn’t stop soon, we’ll be drowning in flowers.”

“Wait till the wedding. We’ll really be drowning in flowers then. Who knew Namjoon was such a romantic.”

“Romantic, psychotic, same thing.” She shrugged watching as yet another maid come out to tell her something. “Sajangnim has arrived. Would you like me to prepare a fresh pot of tea?”

“No. If he wants something he’ll ask for it. I’ll be in the piano room.” She sighed suddenly feeling more tired than before. “Would you like to come Yoongi? We can practice that sonata, and you can yell at me for messing up the notes.” She offered.

She’d found over the past few weeks that while Yoongi was a grump and Namjoon’s fixer, he was also an excellent pianist. They’d played a few songs together, but his skill far outweighed her own. More often than not he ended up scolding her for missing the rhythm or the notes or not placing her fingers correctly.

“That piano is wasted on you.” He grumbled.

“I’m aware, Yoongi. I’m aware.”

She headed towards the door knowing that Yoongi would follow shortly as Namjoon had yet to steal her away, and she wasn’t to be without a minder when Namjoon wasn’t present. The man had become more paranoid than normal ever since the incident, as he liked to call it. Before, her minders could give her a bit of space, but now space was a thing of the past.

Namjoon found them in the piano room playing the same duet that they had been practicing for the past two weeks. He didn’t even mind the sharp reprimands that Yoongi would snap at her, something he normally wouldn’t allow, because Yoongi had gotten her to play the piano again. She hadn’t touched the instrument since the incident, but Yoongi had gotten her to play again, unsurprising given the man’s talent for piano and the beautiful instrument that was at his disposal at the manor.

“Schubert again?” He asked remaining just outside the door. This was her space, and he was hesitant to invade it without her permission given the incident. He didn’t want anything to set her off again. He didn’t think he could handle another incident.

“Sonata for four hands ‘Grand duo’. It’s only the first movement though.” She responded with a slight smile while Yoongi grumbled at the interruption.

“She can finally play part of the first movement without it sounding like a toddler.”

She didn’t seem to mind the insult though choosing instead to lean her head on the man’s shoulder with a gentle smile. She never seemed to mind Yoongi’s more abrasive comments, and Yoongi never seemed to mind her more affectionate gestures. They all knew he was secretly a softy. She’d known that from the first time she’d seen him with Moni. The man was a sucker for dogs.

Yoongi shrugged her off and got up leaving without another word, leaving her alone with Namjoon who came to sit next to her on the piano bench.

“I see you got my flowers.” He mused while she hummed in agreement. “Play for me?” He asked, and she did.

part 26

#bts #bts fic #yandere bts #bts rm #bts namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #mafia namjoon #yandere namjoon #yandere #soft yandere #rm x reader #rm #mafia #mafia au #dark romance #a dangerous game #fanfic

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skullsandwineglasses · 4 years ago

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The Rebel Princess - Final Review (SPOILERS)

I tend to be quite critical right after I watch the finale of a drama since emotions are high, so my review might be a little harsh. My feelings might simmer over the next few days while I digest things, but for now, I’ll break down my impressions into 3 parts: The “Good”, The “Didn’t Make Sense”, and The “Could Have Been Better”.

The “Good”

The final scene. That’s the first immediate good thing that comes to mind. That’s probably the only good thing tbh. To be clear, these last 5 episodes weren’t bad. Everyone got their comeuppance, our leads live happily ever after, and Wang Su finally sees the light and goes against Daddy Wang by saving baby Jing’er. But, there were quite a number of things that frustrated me while watching.

I will note one other good thing, which is that we got to see our favourite OTP act out a show to misdirect the rebels in hiding and lure them out. We finally get to see our leads collaborating and putting their smarts together! But, this meant that they had to separate again for the millionth time in this drama. And even though it was just an act, the fake confrontation scene between them still stung. As a trashy romantic, I wish we got to see more scenes of them together, especially towards the end of the drama.

The “Didn’t Make Sense”

But because we finally get to see them work together, I wished we got to see more scenes with them plotting together. This is the first time that they’re working together to uncover a political plot, and yet it’s only relegated to one short conversation scene between them after Awu returns from meeting with her brother who refuses to tell her who’s behind the scenes pulling the ropes.

ALSO, the drama never really addressed how Xiao Qi kind of handwaved Zitan’s involvement in the Neem Yu Shan plot. How did Xiao Qi go from “I need to have vengeance for my betrayed fallen soldiers” to “I need to help uncover the plot against the crown”. It’s kind of implied that Awu might have already told Xiao Qi about the truth before Song Huaien does, but the drama never makes that clear because we never see that scene if there was one. If Xiao Qi learns about the truth from Song Huaien first, does he then talk about to Awu? Again, we don’t know because it’s never shown to us. Instead, right after we see him learn about it from Huaien, it then immediately cuts to the confrontation scene with Awu. BUT, since this confrontation scene was revealed to be planned by them, it means that they’ve already discussed the Zitan problem in private beforehand, and Xiao Qi already knows that Awu knows, but we never see this conversation. It’s also revealed that they’ve long been suspicious of Huaien, but when did this suspicion start? Again, we don’t see this conversation. We just have to guess.

This is just one example of how these last 5 episodes made it VERY obvious where scenes were deleted. A lot of scenes were cut abruptly where one scene would suddenly cut to the next, and you kind of had to infer what happened between those scenes. Things still made sense and you could still follow along, but you could tell that they cut out scenes that would have helped flesh things out and make the transitions smoother.

Villains: Nearly every villain in the drama (Jin’er, Zitan, and Song Huaien) turned back into their “good” old selves again during their downfall. And because of this, it made the finale of the drama pretty underwhelming. Jin’er expressed how she misses the old days to Awu and calls Awu one of the most important people in her life, Zitan sees the light and promises to yield the throne to his nephew and face punishment for his actions, and Song Huaien uses his last dying breath to ask Xiao Qi to take him back to Ning Shuo and how he doesn’t want to be in the capital anymore (when he literally has an arrow to the heart while sitting on the throne he just stole). These characters take an abrupt 180 degree turn when they’ve been blind with envy and hatred for most of the drama. Just moments ago they were shooting daggers out of their eyes, and then suddenly they regret everything they’ve done. Their downfall felt too easy, and their redemption felt even easier and unearned. And Awu forgives all of them (as expected). When she pitied Zitan, I was like, girl, he doesn’t deserve your pity. I get that she needs him to sober up in order to discourage the rebels, but still. He had his own brother killed and tried to have her husband killed. Instead she consoles him like a lost puppy. I know that Awu’s a saintly character, and I’ve talked about the virtues of her character before, but sometimes I wish she’d be a little less saintly.

I think Daddy Wang’s final scene fit most well with his character. He’s defeated, but doesn’t entirely express regret for his actions. Which makes sense for his character. He’s never doubted his decisions all throughout the drama, so why would he start now. Even when Awu asks him if he ever loved her mother, he doesn’t answer her. Instead, he deflects the question back to her to ask if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, which is such a laughable question. How is Zitan even still considered a potential love interest for Awu at this point? In response, Awu tells him “此愛非彼愛”. Which I’m still trying to interpret?? To directly translate it, it would translate to “this love is not (comparable to?) love”. I’m having trouble interpreting 非彼. 非彼 means “not comparable to”. Is Awu saying that this love isn’t comparable to another love? Is she saying that this love isn’t considered love? Love for whom? Is she taking about her love for Xiao Qi and how it’s not considered “love”. Does she mean what she feels for him is more than love, or different from love? Or, does she mean her past love for Zitan isn’t love? Why is her response so vague? Her dad asks her if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, and she instead gives him such a dense, poetic response. Maybe my mandarin isn’t up to par to translate these historical dialogues, so I’ll be curious to see how the subs translate this line. Anyway, in the end, Awu asks her father if he would agree to being buried next to her mother, and after ignoring the question for a bit, he finally says that he wants to be buried next to her.

The treatment of women: The Elder Princess and Yu Xiu both sacrificed themselves in hopes of getting their loved ones to stop rebelling. And then Awu pulls the same move with her father in order to remind him what her mother had done in hopes of stopping him. And this was after we see Hu Yao and Nanny Xu needlessly die in the previous episodes. So all these female deaths and sacrifices made it feel like the female characters in the drama are disposable and can be easily killed off by the writers. It just didn’t really sit well with me that on 3 instances in this drama, a female character tries to use herself as leverage against a male character who’s about to commit treason. I’m also still not over Hu Yao’s death at the hands of Song Huaien, and we never get to see a proper burial for her because she’s a minor character, so the drama couldn’t be bothered to show it. The Dowager Empress also had a very anticlimactic end. She was such a major player pre-episode 50, and then suddenly she was bedridden and only heard about palace news from her maid and wasn’t able to exert much influence over the court. It was a little disappointing that we don’t get to see her wield any of her old power again after episode 50.

The “Could Have Been Better”

This might be unpopular opinion but, I think Awu and Xiao Qi kind of lost their spark in the last couple of episodes, or at least, it’s more subtle now. Probably because the plot was focused on bigger things, which I understand. These are the final episodes after all. They’re also a long-married couple now, they don’t need to constantly reaffirm their love to us. And the final scene was sweet, so I shouldn’t be complaining, but I wish we got more scenes of them alone together. I said this in a reply on another post, but their sexual tension peaked during the early episodes of the drama. It’s too bad we don’t see that level of chemistry again.

Something that I found funny was how we see Awu stand next to Zitan by the throne twice to protect him. The setup was almost exactly the same between the two scenes where Awu stands to his right. It was like the writers couldn’t figure out a new configuration for how to block the scene. The first time was during the “pretend confrontation” with Xiao Qi, and the second time was against Huaien. I just felt the the repeat setup of this scene was kind of boring and uncreative to watch. It was like the writers couldn’t come up with another way to stage a potential rebellion, so we’ll just have Zitan be cornered around on the throne twice.

Also, Huaien wanting to suddenly take the throne and also Awu as his Empress? First of all, I don’t understand why people, who don’t have the approval of the masses, always want to become Emperor. Do they not realize that by forcibly seizing power, you’re going to lose it just as quickly because no one likes you and they’ll try to take you down? I have the same criticism for Daddy Wang and Zitan. But does Huaien think that he has enough military power to become Emperor? And unlike Daddy Wang, Huaien doesn’t have any significant political impact over the lords. Also, does he think that Xiao Qi would just never come back? Second, him asking Awu to become his wife? We don’t really see him feeling tortured over his affection for Awu again since his wedding with Yu Xiu, and now suddenly, years later, it’s revealed that he still yearns for her? And he declares his love right after stabbing her dad? I mean, writers, please. I know you want to create drama, but it has to make sense.

To be honest, I’ve always found Huaien’s character arc a little hard to believe. He’s such a noble character for the first third of the drama, and then it’s revealed that he’s always secretly harboured a greedy side. A side that craves status and recognition. He then downward spirals into this monster who kills nannies and female comrades and wants to be emperor. We see small hints of his desire for the throne, like when he eyes Daddy Wang’s tailor-made royal robes. But this desire is not fleshed out enough. Huaien’s arc could have worked, but because the drama didn’t focus enough on his internal struggle at the beginning since he isn’t the main character, the change felt abrupt. I don’t know how the book handled it, so I can’t speak to that.

Things just escalate so quickly in this drama. I can now see AvenueX’s criticisms about the political plot of this drama and how it looks like it could have be written by a 10 year old. The writers seem to want to make things as surprising as possible, while also using a lot of old tropes that it becomes predictable. It’s very unrealistic. And the villains’ motivations and ambitions seem limitless. It felt like anyone could lay claim to the throne.

The political scheming in this drama has never impressed me, so I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that these last few episodes were just as lukewarm. The problem with the political plot of this drama is that there were no smart characters except Daddy Wang. It’s just a bunch of drama queens(TM) who want power, but do a poor job of thinking things through.

The highlight of the drama was the romance, which was a huge surprise since I didn’t start watching this drama for the romance. And yet, despite the romance being the highlight, the OTP is constantly being separated, and we barely got to see them together in the last few episodes. And the scenes that they did have together in these last few episodes weren’t memorable. If anything, their chemistry kind of fell apart during these episodes because we barely see them communicate directly with each other.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I’d still recommend this drama just for the leads alone. You don’t see that kind of chemistry in idol dramas, and I don’t know when we’ll be able to see this level of acting between two well-matched actors in dramas again. Watching them is almost like a once-in-a-life-timeline thing. However, I think the average viewer might become frustrated with Awu halfway through. The drama’s also very bingeable (in fact it should be binged, instead of dragged on for almost 2 months). I think I would have enjoyed more if I watched all the episodes at once, instead of waiting for episodes as they came out every week, which meant that while waiting, I started to pick apart little issues that I had with the drama.

#monarch industry #the rebel princess #上阳赋 #cdrama #cdrama review #zhang ziyi #rant #cdrama impressions #i wish i could watch Awu and Xiao Qi fall in love again for the first time #sigh #i only watch like 3 dramas a year #so i guess imma be dramaless for the next 6 months

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yukipri · 4 years ago

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Marco’s Bauble Part 5 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Here’s the next part of Marco’s Bauble!

In which the Whitebeards gossip even more, and the gossip circle widens.

Contains mention of Marco x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble, Part 4

"Does the meeting have to be in my room?"

Jozu's room feels cramped with six commanders crammed inside. The Commander bedrooms, which double as their offices, aren't exactly spacious. They're still the only crew members who even have their own private quarters, so no one complains. Of the Commander's rooms, Jozu's is the largest, simply to accommodate the fact that Jozu's physical bulk is several times that of any other Commander. So naturally, Jozu's room is where they gather when they need to have the rare Secret Meeting, away from any of Pops's rooms or public spaces that anyone can walk into.

"I don't even know why we're here," Jozu mutters mostly to himself, perched awkwardly on the edge of his own bed. Vista and Rakuyo take up the rest of his mattress, because Izo's commandeered Jozu's desk and chair. Izo's even brought a mirror and makeup kit, and is putting eyeliner on Namur for some reason. Haruta's sitting on the floor by the door, to "keep watch," apparently.

"You can leave if you'd like, it's private anyway," Rakuyo smirks. He's only been let in on the secret because he'd been the one to make up the lie at lunch, announcing loudly that Haruta had actually shouted about marigolds in Izo's new perfume and not Marco. And oh yeah, Vista's allergic to them! Hence the overreaction, of course.

It's a miracle their other brothers bought the honestly bizarre lie, and Rakuyo secretly thinks that they most definitely heard but are bro enough to play along because the other Commanders looked so pathetically desperate for them to pretend it never happened. But well, it worked out for Rakuyo, who was able to corner Izo and Haruta (along with a still very much spooked Vista), to demand answers for so generously providing a coverup, no matter how shoddy.

(Rakuyo can just imagine how the rumor mill is churning right now, now that everyone other than the night shift is crammed into the barracks and lights are out. But ah well, that's not his business, at least until he gets some answers himself.)

Which leads them to now, in a Secret Meeting to reveal all.

Jozu heaves a massive sigh that jostles the other two Commanders taking up his bed, before getting up with a creak. It's very clear that Rakuyo is especially eager to start getting all the dirt or whatever this is about, and perhaps that really isn't something he wants to be a part of.

Jozu doesn't much like being chased out of his own room, but he doesn't really like gossip anyway. Maybe it would be better to step out, and not have to deal with the drama afterwards.

"Maybe I'll go take a walk..." Some fresh night air doesn't sound too bad.

"Yeah, we'll just be talking about Marco's upcoming wedding," Haruta chortles, even as he moves out of the way to let Jozu through.

Jozu freezes. Rakuyo makes a little oooh sound.

Jozu sits back down, and Vista and Rakuyo grunt as the mattress sinks towards their brother's greater mass.

"Wait, since when was it a wedding?" Namur's eyes widen. "I only know about his proposal, not even a formal engagement yet..."

There must be several steps between "proposal" and "wedding," or so Namur thought. But perhaps he's just misunderstanding humans once again.

"Hush, don't move, you'll ruin your eyeliner," Izo scolds, and Namur shuts up, wisely, because everyone knows how Izo feels about ruined eyeliner.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jozu starts, because he's just heard several things in rapid succession that he's failing to process. Jozu prides himself on fast thinking in battle, but it apparently doesn't apply outside of it, which is a problem because he's reeling. But then again, these types of cannonballs aren't shot into his face every day.

Jozu isn't given time, because Rakuyo's hooting like a madman, flailing arms smacking Vista, who has also gone frozen and wide-eyed, and Jozu's glad that at least he's not the only brother who feels lost.

"Alright, let's hear it! Who's the lucky boy?" Rakuyo leans as far forward towards Izo and Namur as he can without his ass leaving the bed.

"Get this," Izo leans in too, just as eager. "Marco's fiancee is a girl."

Jozu chokes, but it goes completely ignored, as does Vista's gasp and dainty hand to his heart, and Rakuyo expelling what seems to be all of the spit in his mouth, all in the face of Haruta bolting to his feet and shrieking "WHAT?!" loud enough to probably be heard on the other side of the Moby.

"Izo..." Namur cringes, and looks distinctively miserable, an expression all the more exaggerated by the dramatic winged liner Izo's put around his eyes.

"It's too late, we're all here, might as well share with just our fellow Commanders no? It's a big occasion for our dearest first mate," Izo says, well over the initial guilt he felt. After all, such a big occasion for their brother is most certainly relevant to their fellow Commanders!

Everyone else in the room makes silent eye contact at Izo and Namur's exchange, immediately understanding what had occurred: Izo had been sworn to secrecy, but had slipped.

Well, they all sympathize. They feel for their poor fishman brother, they've all been in his shoes before.

But they're also all currently in this room, and the secret's been spilled, so at this point...well, what happens in Jozu's room, stays in Jozu's room, no?

And so the story comes out, and multiple other bombs are dropped: that the girl's a mermaid, Marco's never even met her, and she's also Ace's little brother.

"Wow, didn't know he liked them that young, Ace's practically a baby himself," Rakuyo mutters, and gets a sharp jab in the elbows from Vista.

“A mermaid,” Vista breathes, stars in his eyes. “A phoenix with a mermaid, that’s so romantic!”

“Isn’t it?” Namur looks eager for the first time since the meeting started, glad he’s found a kindred soul. “They’ll look so good together…”

Jozu's brain has finally caught up to the situation, but something's not adding up. He makes to raise his hand, but ends up loudly cracking his shoulder against the wall instead, which still does the job of catching his brothers' attentions.

"Wait, but I thought Ace said he couldn't join our crew because he promised to be pirates with his little brother...but if she gets married to Marco and she joins our crew, then...?"

There's a moment of deep contemplative silence.

"Well, there's the chance that Ace doesn't know about his little brother's relationship with Marco," Izo says slowly. "He might not even know that they've been corresponding."

There's a collective wince as they imagine how Ace's reaction to that being revealed might go, if it indeed is a secret. The one thing they know about Ace's little brother is that Ace has a MASSIVE brother complex, and is very, Very protective. They suddenly don’t envy Thatch.

"Do you think Thatch knows?" Vista speaks up. "Is this why he went with Ace?"

"If he didn't know, he knows now, Marco sent the letter and engagement gem to him to deliver," Namur says hesitantly, finally willing to contribute information.

"So let's get this straight, Ace thought he was just going back to East Blue to start a new pirate crew, and Thatch was just tagging along to help, but Thatch was actually sent by Marco to escort his bride back to us? Without Ace knowing? Is that right?" Haruta's eyes are wide and he sounds extremely impressed. "That's so evil of him, I didn't know he had it in him, holy shit!"

"We don't know that," Namur mumbles, but is ignored.

“Do you think Thatch’ll be best man at the wedding?” Vista wonders.

“That’s not fair!” Haruta hisses at the same time Izo shouts, “Favoritism!”

"Okay, okay, wait. So in that case, assuming Ace eventually calms down and supports the union, that means his little brother joins us, right? And if she joins, doesn't that mean Ace would join too? Since she was the only reason why he didn't join us, and he wants to be on the same crew as his brother..." Jozu can't let go of the possibility, now that it's there.

They'd all been terribly sad when Ace announced he was leaving. Their crew all understood why he had to go, a promise is a promise, and they'd still always be brothers but...the 2nd Division Commander seat had practically been waiting for him.

"There's always the chance that they mean to do long distance," Namur says then, glumly.

"That's so boring!" Izo says dismissively. "Marco should take what's his, we're pirates!"

Rakuyo cheers while Namur gasps in indignation, and everyone else sighs, except Vista who suddenly freezes.

"Marco wouldn't...leave us to join them, would he...?"

Well there's a thought.

"...We can't know what the bride thinks, but that we can ask Marco, probably," Jozu says uncertainly. Suddenly this whole "marriage" business is a lot more stressful than expected, because Jozu's not sure he likes the idea of suddenly losing their first mate, no matter how nice his future company is.

"It's not likely, probably, because they're just a baby crew, who already have our brothers as senior members," Haruta reasons. "Far more likely that they'll join us!"

"The 2nd'll be happy to have Ace and Deuce back," Vista nods, focusing on the positives, and the mood lightens considerably. "And we'll be able to have a wedding!"

“A wedding! I love weddings!” Rakuyo cheers. “Drinks all around!”

"Ace'll become our 2nd Division Commander after all," Namur says, and he looks so happy that Izo croons and pokes his cheek.

"Wait," Jozu says, and Izo groans not again. "This may be getting ahead of ourselves but...if Ace is 2nd Division Commander, that puts his room right next to Marco's...isn't that sorta awkward for the newlyweds?"

"Jozu!" Namur looks very scandalized, while Rakuyo and Haruta cackle.

"Maybe Ace'll burn a hole through the wall so they can't have any privacy," Haruta grins.

"That's terrible," Vista says, despite also beginning to smile.

This is nice, imagining what their family's future might be like. It'll no doubt be wild, but a positive change.

"But maybe being close to his brother would make Ace happier too, so maybe the 2nd Division would really be perfect," Izo says contemplatively.

"Question, would Ace's little brother be in the 1st or 2nd Division?" Namur wonders.

Bickering breaks out, but Rakuyo cuts through it. "She's Ace's brother, she might be Commander material herself, who says she'll be in one of their divisions?"

"Commander of Division 1.5," Namur says dreamily.

And oh, well, that wasn't what anyone else had in mind, but the more they think about it, the more it appeals.

"Perfectly in between her husband and brother, our future Commander of Division 1.5," Izo says it out loud, testing how it feels.

"I like it," Haruta shouts, and is echoed by his brothers.

WHELP that took forever to write, but I hope you enjoyed! The next part has Marco :P

The number of Whitebeards keeps increasing! We now have all the main Whitebeards that are usually given attention (Marco, Thatch, Jozu, Vista, Izo, Haruta), and in addition to Namur, I decided I wanted to give Rakuyo some love! I think he looks like a Jack Sparrow rip off so I like him haha. Did anyone catch the reference?

Anyway, still very much figuring out how I want to portray them, but I'm enjoying exploring them in writing, so I'll know how to better depict them in any future art ^ ^;

As always, thank you so much for reading, and any comments are immensely appreciated!! (Comments are what make me decide how frequently to update, because the next parts are already written and up on Patreon <3)

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: Marco’s Bauble, Part 6

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

#OnePieceMermaidAU #One Piece Mermaid AU #MarLu #Marco the Phoenix #Whitebeard Pirates #genderbend #text headcanons #longpost #long post

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years ago

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Got7 Most to Least Likely to Get Married and Start a Family

This was requested by one of my favorite followers (and just human beings in general) on here, the amazing @safetypineapples thank you for the request love I hope you enjoy it ☺️

Disclaimer: This is strictly my personal opinion based on what I’ve observed in the last three years I’m sure they would all be such amazing husbands and fathers if they decide to get married and start having families I’m sorry if you disagree but I did have fun doing this so please don’t hesitate to send it more requests!!!

MOST

Mark: This one is a no brainer. After watching the Ask In A Box video when he was asked where he sees himself in ten years, he didn’t hesitate to say “married”. From what I’ve seen with how he is with the guys and towards the staff I can tell he’s such a kind-hearted, generous and well-mannered person. He always puts others before himself and makes sure everyone is taken cared of before tending to his own needs. Mark also gives off such boyfriend vibes and I know in my gut that there is 100% chance he is a very loving and doting boyfriend; the type to memorize his significant other’s coffee order, to buy them things that reminds him of them, to check up on them every now and then to make sure they’re eating their meals on time and getting well deserved rest I mean—just look at how he treats Milo that man is so in love with that cute little dog I’m not being biased because I love that man with my entire fucking soul but it’s the truth. I know the guys playfully bully him about being the most sensitive member, but unlike other guys who consider having feelings and being sensitive a feminine trait, Mark embraces that shit (big dick energy) like, he’s not afraid to cry it just shows that he cares a lot. I hope whoever he ends up marrying one day knows just how lucky she is to have him. Honestly, he’s such a family man—he spends every free moment with his family and you can tell that he really misses them. I’m sure he probably feels bad that he had to leave his family at such a young age, especially Joey because it must’ve been hard having to grow up without your main role model so now he gives to Joey whatever he possibly can to help him out he donated money to Joey’s charity, supports his gaming streams and buys him gifts almost every single time I’m not crying you are. Also, he never fails to go and support the other members in their solo activities (wearing their merch, attending their solo fan meets, promoting their music). He just seems like such a supportive and loyal person. The way he interacts with his nieces is extremely adorable, what more when he has his own kids? And when there are kids around, he always is so good with interacting with them and making them feel comfortable. I’m sure if he wasn’t an idol, he would’ve started a family a long time ago and I have a feeling that might be one of the things he dislikes about being an idol. The idea of father Mark is making me scream ugh I just know he’s going to be the best dad.

Jinyoung: Just like Mark, Jinyoung gives me family man vibes. He is quite the gentleman towards every single woman he comes in contact with; his co-stars, female idols, makeup artists and staff members. I know he is such an amazing actor, but sometimes acting can only go so far—the way he kisses, touches and talks with his co-stars makes me feel like he is like that in person also; very romantic, gentle and sensual. He is also very good with kids (he couldn’t stop hugging that little boy who interviewed him one time it still makes me cry to this day) and back in that one real got7 episode, he was doing THE MOST to make sure one of the little girls chose him. But even if it was a competition, he seemed to have fun entertaining the two girls and it’s not easy taking care of children. On the set of He Is Psychometric, he was so sweet towards all the children; holding them, making them laugh, playing around with them. Also, being the youngest, it seems as though his sisters are very protective over him and it’s obvious that they have a very tight bond. I mean, he used to refer to himself as the mother of Got7, so I feel like he has caretaking traits and knows how to provide for the ones that he loves. The way he interacts with the other guys also gives it away; he might be playful and mischievous when it comes to Yugyeom, BamBam and sometimes even Jaebeom, but he can also be very defensive when it comes to them. All in all, I feel that Jinyoung is focused on being an actor and an idol, but once he’s done with his military enlistment and when Got7 decide to start slowing down in order to live domestic lives (which won’t be for a while please don’t come for me I’m begging) then he will start focusing on his personal life.

Jackson: I had a hard time choosing between Jinyoung and Jackson on who should be in second place just because Jackson seems like he really wants to start a family as soon as he can like he talks about it all the time. When he attended his best friend’s wedding, he just seemed so happy and he made it known that he couldn’t wait until it was his turn to be at the altar. I just know this man is so amazing when it comes to women like he is a FEMINIST and he’s one of the only idols I know who isn’t afraid to talk highly about female idols or just women in general like in my opinion, he doesn’t seem like the type who would be upset if it came out that he was in a relationship. Just look at how he treats his mom—the way a man is with his mother just shows the kind of man he’ll be in a relationship. He is always so quick to give a girl his jacket, cover them up if they are uncomfortable with what they are wearing or to feed them (he fed a fan once I don’t know what war she fought in her past life for that to happen but shit why wasn’t it me). On Let Go Of My Baby, he did not let any child cry for less than a couple of seconds before running to their rescue like that show was honestly so cute it just gave us a glimpse of what an amazing father he will be one day. He also held them whenever they felt homesick and even when he scolded one of them for playing around, he picked her up and apologized. Even when it comes to his niece; especially since he only sees her a few times every year, he puts that little girl on a pedestal. I just feel like right now, his main priority is his career and he wants to wait for it to simmer down before he starts settling down.

Youngjae: I still have yet to witness Youngjae even talking to a woman (other than staff members and fans) and it’s probably just me, but he doesn’t seem like the type to really put himself out there as much as the other members do when it comes to talking with other girls but from what I’ve read, he is a really good friend (and was one of the only people who helped Mina from AOA with the whole Jimin situation) so it’s obvious he genuinely cares for those he is close to. And if it’s any consolation; just look at the way he loves Coco like I’ve never seen someone love anyone as much as Youngjae loves Coco. But he’s such a sweet and kindhearted person (his laugh could honestly cure cancer don’t @ me) and from the videos I’ve watched, he is also very sensitive and that just proves he has a heart of gold. He said that he wants a daughter like the little girl in miracle because she was so cute so it’s obvious he does want a family some day. He might not be the type to go all out when it comes to showing affection or interest in communicating with women (maybe he just doesn’t want unnecessary controversy) (poor idols have to worry about what people would say if they were to even just wave to someone of the other sex) but he might be the type to do it in private. I’m sure he’s a gentleman, but more of the kind of person to do it secretly in order to prevent wandering eyes or irrelevant rumors. I don’t see posts of his nieces and nephews on social media as much as I do with Jackson and Mark, but then again maybe his sister isn’t the type to show off her kids. However, he seems like such a doting uncle in that one video at their concert in Korea when his nephew yelled his name (it was so fucking cute).

Jaebeom: This man’s mind never fails to intrigue me. With a lot of his songs, he is either really romantic, angsty or really horny there is no in between. The guys say that he is the type to get really shy and act like a dork in front of the girl he likes and honestly, even if he tries his best to come off as “chic and sexy” this man is a literal ball of fluff. He seems like the biggest momma’s boy and I feel it’s because growing up, it was just him and his mom until she met his stepdad. If you watch the way he acts towards his mom, his personality is that of a little kid. From my personal experience of having a single mother, I’m sure it was hard for him watching his mom struggle as a single mother raising him all on her own, so he just wants to give back to her what she deserves and I know he is probably like that in relationships also. He claims that he writes songs based on what he reads in books and watches in movies, but with how the boys tease him about how romantic he can be, I know he writes songs based on personal experience. He has five cats and he literally talks to them like they’re children (and the fact that he doesn’t want to post about them because he wants to give them their privacy) makes my heart so warm I can’t even explain it like I know he says his fans are his friends, but there are some things he wants to keep to himself and I respect that. There was one Vlive where he did say he doesn’t plan on having kids but he does want to get married some day. As much as I think he would be a great dad, if he doesn’t see himself having kids then that’s totally up to him. Even if he is so soft whenever he is around children, it’s another thing when having your own kids. Who knows though, maybe one day he’ll come to the realization that he does want a big family. As a leader, he does such an amazing job with making sure all members are happy and healthy (he might present himself as this big, scary dude but he has the biggest weakness for his members you can tell he loves those 6 boys with his entire being)(Im Jaebeom is the best leader in Kpop I don’t make the rules). Also, when he talks, he comes off to be very insecure and he’s the type who isn’t afraid to speak his mind even if he knows it might be controversial so I get the vibe that he is very vulnerable. He might seem like a dominant person, but I think that he’s willing to be such a submissive ball of cheese to the lucky girl who owns his heart. Idk man, but he also seems like the type to get really hurt over a break up (I will fight anyone who breaks this man’s heart deadass).

Yugyeom: As the youngest of the group and just like BamBam, I don’t think he’s really think about getting married or settling down any time soon. Honestly, Yugyeom seems like the type who would start having a family in his late 30s/early 40s just because he wants to give his full attention to his career. When Got7 first started out, he always seemed so shy when it came to talking with other girls, and I feel as if at one point, he was insecure about approaching girls, but now he just oozes confidence and sex appeal. I’m not saying he hasn’t dated anyone before (I’m sure he’s had a couple of relationships or at least a few flings) but he doesn’t strike me as someone whose main priority is a relationship as of right now. He’s always making music, preparing choreographies and producing songs, so as much as he wants to date, his girlfriend might not be the top of his list. A lot of his songs are sexual, so maybe a lot of the relationships he’s pursued were sexual rather than romantic and domestic (but what do I know). I haven’t really heard him talk about what he plans on doing once Got7 no longer are performing and making music as much; but sometimes it’s the ones we’d least expect who have dreams of getting married and starting big families. In the few reactions I’ve watched with him and kids, he seems to have a lot of fun teasing them and playing games with him and I think it’s because he’s still somewhat of a kid himself. I think he’s willing to change his outlook on relationships when it comes to the right person and he’ll be willing to fit them in to his busy schedule if he really loves them. Maybe after he finishes his military enlistment and decides that it’s time to start setting his focus on something other than his career, he will take the leap and get in to a full-blown relationship.

BamBam: Okay, just because I put him as the last one doesn’t mean I don’t think he wouldn’t want to settle down or have a family. But I feel like both BamBam and Yugyeom are still so young that getting married and having kids is way in the back of their minds as of right now. When the time comes, I just know BamBam is going to be such an amazing father. Just watching The Return of Superman and the way he took such amazing care of that little girl proves that he has a weak spot for kids. He’s even an uncle now and I really want him to go back to Thailand so he can finally meet his nephew. Unlike the older members, I haven’t really seen BamBam interact with women other than the few clips of when they were younger (and he was always such a flirt). In the episode of Hello Counselor he told one of the other celebrities on the show that he didn’t have time to date and his job kind of prevents him from experiencing what it’s really like to be in a relationship (but I’m pretty sure he and all of the members have been in relationships) however, they’re always so busy and probably don’t have the time nor the privacy to really go outside and walk around freely with their significant others. The guys also make jokes about how he’s narcissistic and pretty in to himself (Jackson made the joke that if he were to date someone, he would focus more on himself than his partner) but I don’t think he would be the type to do so. Like I said, he’s still young to be thinking about what his future with a family looks like but who knows? He might just surprise us all and be the first one to get married then you can all disregard this post HAHAHAHA. Deep down, I know BamBam is a genuine person and he will be such a wonderful husband and father one day.

LEAST

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 drabbles

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 4 years ago

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Enlighten Me

Pairings: Marcus Moreno x Reader

Summary: You’d been in love with Marcus since you were seventeen but wrote it off as a silly little crush on an older man. After seeing you again when you were 20, about six months after the loss of his wife, romantic feelings for you stir in Marcus that have him feeling confused. Two years of secretly pining after a seemingly impossible relationship leads to some confessions.

Warnings: Age Gap (13-ish years), Little angsty, Mentions of his wife’s death, Brief mention of pedophilia (Marcus just says he’s concerned about being seen this way), Brief mention of kidnapping (just super quickly says that reader saved kids from being kidnapped)

Word Count: 4200

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You stood in the briefing room of headquarters, waiting for the rest of the Heroics to arrive. Tech-no, Ms. Vox, Miracle Man, and Blinding Fast were the only other heroes there so far and the meeting couldn’t begin until everyone was present. Being in the Heroics Headquarters for the first time in what felt like forever sent nerves throughout your body like the first day of training. Even though you had always felt like a legitimate member of the team, you hadn’t been called on to do a job in a while. It was almost always Miracle Man, much to your secretly jealous chagrin, or occasionally Tech-no, depending on whether or not the problem could be fixed with gadgets. Regardless of who had been called how many times throughout the year, there was always an annual meeting of all the Heroics just to ensure that everyone was on the same page as far as current threats and protocols. This was that meeting.

You stood beside Tech-no, listening to him explain the newest creation he’d invented in an attempt to block out Ms. Vox and Miracle Man’s incessant voices. Both of the heroes were nice people but they had egos the size of China and it did get grating sometimes. You’d always found it best to just avoid the people who had annoyed you on the team instead of getting involved in the incessant bickering that constantly seemed to be plaguing the team.

“With a simple press of the blue button, I was able to send an EMP straight to the power source of the detonation system. Stopped the bomb and Miracle Man caught the lady. Pretty neat, huh?” Tech-no explained, his demeanor pretty calm despite knowing how excited he got when his devices were successful.

You smiled at his story, “Wow, that’s amazing!”

“Have you been called in lately? I haven’t seen you around in a while.” He noted, brows knitting in curiosity. He’d always been like a big brother of sorts to you, one of your favorite people on the team, so of course he would notice your lack of presence, especially after spending so much time together.

You shrugged, “Not much, only a handful of times this last year. I helped Sharkboy and Lavagirl with those elemental giants in Arkansas back in March and then Invisi Girl and I rescued all those kids from those kidnappers in Louisiana but it’s been a pretty dull year other than.”

Tech-no’s face twisted sadly, “I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun to get left out of the action.”

“It’s alright. Just gave me time to focus on my schoolwork.” You lied. Well, not about the schoolwork but about it being fine. You couldn’t lie that there were times you felt like you were treated like you were less important than the other Heroics for multiple reasons. Typically, the Heroics came up in generations where the last generation’s kids would take over for them. Most of the current Heroics had been born in about the same six year time period so they were all relatively the same age. However, your parents weren’t superheroes. They were just normal people who happened to somehow create a superhuman child. On top of that, you were about thirteen years younger than most of them. By the time you had decided to finally seek out help and direction from the Heroics at the age of seventeen, it was clear you were a strange in between age. The current generation had been in their late twenties-early thirties while their children, if they’d had any yet, were in the first two or three years of their lives. Especially after you’d been trained by Grandma Moreno, the team had taken to you quite well but always felt the need to protect you, despite the fact that you had superpowers, just like the rest of them.

The door to the room slid open soundlessly but after years of training with Grandma Moreno, it was something that you noticed right away. Your heart stopped when you saw Marcus Moreno walk into the room, all geared up and with his swords strapped to his back. Your eyes were trained on his tall strong figure as he glanced around the room, inspecting who had already arrived. Butterflies erupted in your stomach and you could have melted then and there when his gaze met your own. Small crinkles appeared at the corner of his eyes as a wide smile spread across his face. “Mirror! Long time no see! How you been, kid?” He asked happily, pulling you in for a big hug.

It took a lot of effort to not show how your heart fell when he called you that. Kid. It was all you’d ever be to him. You’d harbored a crush on him since you’d met him, though then you’d written it off as some puppy love crush on an older (and married) man. Over the years, though, the stupid feelings had anything but subsided, choosing to bubble up inside into some ridiculous unobtainable love for a man that would never love you back. Or so you thought.

When Marcus entered the room, his eyes were automatically scanning the space for your bright smile. It was the same smile that made his heart flutter the way his wife’s did. It was the only other smile to ever have brought him such feelings of longing. When he saw you talking to Tech-no, he couldn’t help the way his lips turned up into a wide smile.

These feelings made him uneasy, however. It felt wrong- inappropriate to have any sort of romantic feelings or attraction towards you being so much younger than he was. He had known you since you were seventeen and watched you grow into the beautiful young woman standing before him now, only growing more and more radiant with each time he saw you. By all accounts, you were an adult. You were on the verge of graduating from college, living on your own, and working a second job outside of being a Heroic. Even with all this, he was certain that if he had ever made his feelings known, you and the rest of the Heroics would look at him like some pedophile- except he was far from anything so disgusting. Any hint of romantic attraction to you hadn’t blossomed until you were twenty, when you had shown up at HQ one day, suddenly a woman instead of the girl he once knew. Even then, it was only a few months after the death of his wife and he was sure it was his heart’s way of trying to cope and fill the void with a safe presence. He was sure the feelings were purely temporary and hid them away from anyone, even himself for a while, but over the course of the last two years, he was almost frustrated to say they hadn’t subsided. Now you were twenty-two, strong and independent, beautiful and intelligent.

With all logic, Marcus knew that having feelings for you shouldn’t make him feel dirty, especially when he’d had aunts and uncles that were fifteen years apart in age, but he couldn’t help the way the nickname kid had spilled from his lips before he could catch it in a subconscious attempt at overcompensating for his emotions. He cringed internally but kept an altered look of happiness on his face. He caught the way the twinkle in your eye faded just a little at the name and he felt a little bad for making you feel like a child.

“Y’know, I have a real name.” You chided, rolling your eyes jokingly.

Marcus chuckled, “I can’t remember the last time anyone used their real names on duty.”

You raised your hand towards him, “I can’t remember the last time we didn’t just call you Marcus, even on duty. Besides, this hardly counts as being on duty.” You added, glancing around as more heroes shuffled into the room, clearly splitting off into groups based on how much they could stand one another, which wasn’t much.

“Well, I don’t really ever go out as an actual Heroic anymore so I don’t really count.” He insisted, noticing how your eyebrow raised, eyes glancing down at his uniform and the swords strapped to his back. “It’s more of a formality for meetings like this. I don’t usually wear it.”

“Okay, one, you do still count. You’re still the leader of this team. Two, if I have to wear this,” You motioned to your get-up, “You should have to suffer too.” You insisted with a laugh.

Marcus couldn’t help the way he glanced down at the mention of your suit, though he tried as hard as possible to not make it look like he was actually checking you out. The smokey grey material sparkled ever so slightly in the light and was skin tight, covering your arms and legs entirely. It was modestly cut at the top, though it still showed the curvature of your breasts due to the tightness of the material. Thin black lines drew long angular patterns down your arms, torso, and legs, before disappearing beneath your tall black boots that covered just above your knees. Your hair was braided back back there were still some tendrils that hung loose at the front. You were a sight for sore eyes and Marcus’s eyes must have been aching because he never wanted to look away.

Tech-no looked between the two of you, noticing the way he was seemingly forgotten about the moment you saw each other. He smirked to himself, noticing how both you and Marcus looked at each other differently than how you looked at anyone else. “I’m gonna go talk to Crushing Low but it was nice seeing you again, Mirror.” He excused himself, patting Marcus on the shoulder as he did.

“Oh, okay!” You had honestly almost forgotten about the other man, too entranced by Marcus’s presence.

It got quiet between you and Marcus after Tech-no had left, apparently having provided some sort of unknown buffer between the two of you for your unspoken tension. Marcus stood with his hands on his hips, looking down at you with a smile and you chewed your lip, trying to think of anything to say to break the silence.

“Well-”

“How-”

“Heroics, I’m glad you could all make it.”

You and Marcus had begun to speak at the exact same time, only to be cut off by the ever commanding presence of Ms. Granada as she floated into the room gracefully despite her insanely high heels. With momentarily startled eyes, you shot Marcus an apologetic look before making your way to your designated seat around the large circular table. You sat between Sharkboy and Miracle Man, Marcus taking his seat across the table from you and crossing his hands over the files you’d all been handed.

The meeting went quickly as Ms. Granada did a recap of the last year. In the file had been a list of all the missions gone on, all villains, new and old, as well as more boring things, like the budget for the upcoming year and guidelines on how to handle the press when situations got more destructive than preferred.

After she had finished everything up, you all rose from your seats and began to leave, very few members of the team wanting to be around each other any longer than necessary. You decided to hang around HQ a little longer, it having been a while since you’d been to the building. There was one place in particular you’d always loved. In the back of the massive building, there was a garden that had always felt a little out of place amongst all the cold clean metal of the facility but it was somewhere you’d always felt drawn to. There was a small pond with little koi fish that swam around inside and a moderate variety of plants, most of which were actually somewhat tropical looking, all around. Gravel formed a path that wound through the mulch, crunching beneath your boots as you walked and breathed in the fresh air. You knelt down beside the pond and watched contently as the little orange and yellow fish glided through the water effortlessly.

“Had a feeling I’d find you here.” Marcus’s voice startled you and you whipped around in a knee-jerk reaction.

Your heart rate slowed and you chuckled a little, “Yeah, couldn’t help it. It’s been a while since I got called here to help out with anything. Figured I’d better come to my favorite spots before I didn’t stop by for another few months.”

Marcus sighed knowingly. He knew you weren’t called in for many missions and he was partially to blame for it. When Granada consulted him on which Heroics to bring in when the world was in peril, he always suggested other people first. Perhaps it was selfish of him but he was honestly just terrified of losing you. Especially after his wife’s death, he wasn’t sure if he could handle losing you as well. It wasn’t that he thought you were incompetent by any means, he was just genuinely scared for you and the idea of Miracle Man getting a good beating made him feel better than the idea of you taking one.

“You know, you’re still a valued member of the team. Even if you’re not called in all the time.” Marcus tried to reassure you, walking beside you through the winding path of foliage.

You shrugged, “I guess. I know my powers aren’t as cool or useful as some of everyone else’s. I mean, Miracle Man can fly. Tech-no can build almost anything. Lavagirl can literally control lava. You’re a freaking magnet!”

You and Marcus both laughed when you called him that and he shook his head, “What are you talking about? You’re amazing! You can create physical projections of yourself! That’s pretty awesome.”

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks at his compliment but still just shrugged again, “Yeah, but I can only really make them do separate tasks when I really focus on them which is hard to do in the heat of battle.”

“Hey, you are talking down on one of my best friends and I really don’t appreciate it. You really are absolutely amazing, though, and everyone sees it.” Marcus stopped, hand coming to your shoulder to make you stop as well. A goofy little laugh followed his lame joke and you couldn’t help but feel the warmth blossom in your heart at his compliments. When you locked eyes with him, you were sure he could be the last thing you ever saw and you wouldn’t ask for anything more.

That bit of doubt still crept up into your mind though, even though Marcus had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world. You glanced away, avoiding his gaze, “If that were true, I’d be picked for more missions. Sharkboy and Lavagirl live on another planet and have a six-year old. I’m single, kid-less, and live twenty minutes away. They both manage to go on more missions each in a month than I do in a year.”

Marcus’s face fell when you began to walk away again. He never would have thought that his attempts at keeping you safe would have had such an impact on your self-esteem as a hero. Marcus had seldom used his powers anymore, something he felt was unnecessary if he wasn’t actively working as a Heroic, but before he could help himself, his hand had flexed just enough to will the metal vambrace around your left forearm to pull towards him.

Your eyes shot down to the way your arm was being pulled towards Marcus and then back up at the man in utter confusion as to why he wouldn’t let you walk away. The force wasn’t strong by any means but just strong enough to draw your attention.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized simply, unsure of what else to say.

As far as you knew, none of what you had just said had been his fault. By the way he apologized, you could tell he wasn’t simply apologizing for the way you felt but it was like he was sorry for something that he’d done. “For what?” You asked, confused.

Marcus let his grip on your protective vambrace go and you took a natural step towards him, bodies closer than you meant them to be but not making any effort to correct it. “It’s my fault you don’t get called on often.” He admitted, looking away guiltily.

“What? How?” You asked, desperate to understand what he meant. He was the leader of the Heroics so you were sure that he had some say in who was called in but you had never thought to attribute your lack of action to him.

“Granada has actually suggested that we bring you in for many missions throughout the years but… I’ve always been the one to suggest other people.” Marcus continued slowly and he could see the hurt in your eyes at his confession.

Your mouth fell open a little, trying to hide the hurt in your eyes. Did he have any idea how long you’d been feeling undervalued? Less than? Treated like a little kid? “Why would you do that? Do you not think I’m good enough?”

The look in your eye almost made Marcus regret ever coming clean to you. He had hoped that telling you Granada had requested your assistance multiple times would make you feel better. Instead, he should have seen how this would just make you feel worse.

Your heart almost broke. You could handle Granada thinking you weren’t as good as everyone else. You could handle Miracle Man treating you like he was better than you (like he did to everyone). You could handle the mothering way Ms. Vox treated you and the way Tech-no treated you like a little sister. The one person whose opinion you valued the most had never outright treated you like you were less than. But now, it seemed that he’d thought you were all along.

“No! That’s not what I meant at all! You are one of the best people on the team. I just-”

“You just what?” You snapped more aggressively than you meant to, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence.

Marcus closed his eyes and turned his face away from you, “I just couldn’t risk losing you.” His voice was calm and guilty, remorseful and scared.

The venom in your chest began to subside at his confession and your voice softened, “You’re not gonna lose me, Marcus.”

His eyes slid open at the safety of your calmer voice, feeling more able to face you now that he didn’t have to see the anger in your eyes anymore. He swallowed hard, deciding that it was too late to turn back now. “I never thought I’d lose my wife either but… I was scared of being wrong again and losing you too.”

There was a pause while you tried to interpret what he meant by this last statement. He had always cared about you, that much had been clear, but you’d always assumed that it had been in a brotherly fashion. The way he looked at you now as he poured his heart out to you made you feel like there was a little more behind the words than you ever thought.

“You don’t have to be scared.” Your voice was soft, almost a whisper, as you took another subconscious step closer to him. Marcus’s eyes glanced down at the mere inches between your shoes and his before raking up your body and finally meeting your eyes.

“There’s more than you know.” He admitted quietly, his voice low and raspy. His eyes searched yours, terrified that this was the last time he’d ever see those beautiful eyes looking at him in this same way. He was about to cross a line that he couldn’t come back from but something about today made him feel like he couldn’t go any longer with this secret in his heart.

“Then enlighten me.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, “I might lose you still if I do.”

“Then it sounds like you have a decision to make.” You responded, anxiety rising as you looked at him with a straight face. You hadn’t meant to sound so blunt but he couldn’t say something like that and not expect your brain to linger to the worst possibilities. What could be so bad that he was convinced it would ruin your friendship? Was he kicking you off the team? Were you being reassigned to somewhere else in the world? Was about to insist you go back to training? Was he moving? The sudden flood of doomsday-level thoughts concerning your friendship made you vaguely annoyed that he would lead you on with a comment like ‘there’s more than you know’ and then continue to beat around the bush.

“I think I love you, Y/N.” He blurted out, suddenly feeling a massive weight lifted off his chest. That weight was quickly replaced by a bubbling sense of insecurity when your mouth fell open in a state of disbelief.

“Y-you what?”

Marcus’s heart was caught in his throat and his breath hitched, unable to make it past the lump. His nightmare was coming true. This was a mistake. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-. This was a mistake.”

“Wait!” You reached out to place a hand on his bicep when he turned to leave. He stopped and turned back to face you, hurt evident in his eyes, “Don’t leave.”

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just- I’ve had feelings for you for a while now and I didn’t want to come off as the creepy old guy.” He began to ramble uncharacteristically, the typically smooth under pressure superhero reduced to a panicked lovestruck boy.

You put a hand over his mouth and looked straight into his eyes, “I love you too.”

Beneath your palm, his jaw went slack. Slowly, you removed it, biting your lip with a small nervous smile as you waited for him to respond. “You do?”

You nodded shyly, never thinking that your dirty little secret would ever come to light. “I’ve had a stupid little puppy love crush on you since I was seventeen but I’ve been in love with you since I started college. I was always just worried you’d only ever see me as a little girl.”

Marcus’s hands nervously came to rest on your hips as he stared down at you in disbelief. He shook his head, “You’re an amazing woman, Y/N. One that’s impossible not to fall in love with.”

Your hand came up to his cheek, the stubble scratching your skin lightly, “And you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. One that’s impossible not to love.” You mimicked his sentiment back to him with pure genuine intent.

His hand came to cover yours, pressing his face further against your skin, pulling you closer to him by your hip. It was an innocent move, one of a man desperate to finally experience what he’d been keeping bottled up as a deep secret for the last two years. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” He asked, obviously referring to the thirteen year age gap between the two of you, “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“I know that I’m younger than you but I’m not a naive child. You’re not taking advantage of me at all. Believe it or not, I am absolutely and irrevocably in love with you. If you want me, I would love nothing more than to be with you.” This was it: your all or nothing, all cards on the table, point of no return. The words you only told Marcus in your dreams were spoken and unable to be taken back.

His deep brown eyes flicked to your lips and then back to your eyes, his intention clear and awaiting any sign of hesitation, to which he found none. You leaned up on your toes but he finished closing the gap between the two of you, your lips touching in a gentle experimental kiss. His lips were soft in stark contrast to the stubble that scratched your skin. At this close proximity, you could finally breathe him in and it exceeded all expectations. He smelled clean, like freshly washed laundry, but with a hint of what you could only place as men’s body wash.

Marcus felt the way your body melted into his touch. Your skin was soft as silk against his, your lips like pillows he wanted to stay in forever. Your perfume danced around him, engulfing his senses and rendering him incapable of thinking of anything but you. Finally, he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. Your lids slid open only to see him already admiring you.

“There’s nothing I would love more.” Marcus repeated. Two and a half years ago, he never could have imagined he would ever love again. Two hours ago, he never would have imagined that you could have possibly loved him back. But here you were, gazing up at him in a way he only let himself think about when he was alone, wrapped in his arms the way he dreamt about, saying the words he’d felt guilty for fantasizing about hearing from you for so long.

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