#while neglecting the children to the point where children don't realize they have the right to feelings

[furiousgoldfish]

I'm going to sit down and try to explain this with patience, to everyone who still thinks calling out narcissistic abuse is 'ableist' or 'dehumanizing to the narcissists', and that abuse is something we're all equally capable of.

I don't think you understand what narcissistic abuse is, or how it differs from the other kinds of abuse. We can agree that all and any abuse is damaging, traumatic and scarring, but narcissistic abuse is so extremely pervasive, hidden, strategic and unbelievable, to the point where I can't honestly tell it's something any regular human would be capable of. And even more than this, the survivors of this particular type of abuse have found it extremely, extremely difficult to figure out they've been abused, even when they've been put through extreme, devastating, and absolutely dehumanizing scenarios. Realizing that your loved one is a narcissist requires your entire world to break down, and every piece of your heart shatters in the realization, and it takes months, even years to accept it.

The only way we can possibly figure it out is to connect the patterns. And patterns of the narcissistic abuse are focused on erasing one's own sense of self, one's perspective and ultimately, complete control over someone's emotions and behaviours. This is often done from early on, the grooming process starts at age zero, your value, worth and usefulness is determined by them, and you cannot wrangle yourself free from it on your own, not without someone confirming to you that you've been held captive, that your free will has been taken a long time ago.

Unfortunately, I have to give some examples, because I don't think it can be explained otherwise. When I was 2 years old, a narcissistic person found it a nuisance to watch over me, and they beat me up every time I disobeyed. I was a toddler. Then they proceeded to convince me that I was a demon, and would burn in hell regardless of what I do for the rest of my life. I've been brainwashed by this person to believe I was not a human being, had no human rights, that it was correct and regular for me to be locked up, beaten, and that it was my fault every single time, even when I did all that was asked of me. This person then had me comfort them after they would beat me, because it was a stressful experience for them. I wasn't allowed to cry. I would be beaten for making a face expression they didn't like. It was random and unexplainable.

Another narcissistic person created a game where they would give me wrong instructions for a task, then torture me when I did exactly as they instructed me to. It got to a point where I would beg them to tell me what to do correctly, and they would respond with a laughing 'you should be old enough to know this' and they would be even happier to beat me up and scream at me for getting it wrong. This person not only threatened to kill me regularly, but often made me believe I was in my last few seconds of life, putting me in position where I believed I was about to die. They forced me to work for them in unsafe conditions, heavy physical jobs, where I was not allowed to say I'm tired, not allowed to cry, and even after I'd do everything, they would still tell me I didn't deserve to eat. I was a child. I didn't think for a second I was being abused. I was already brainwashed to believe that everyone else had it worse, and that I was lucky.

I had no identity besides existing for them, I had no free will except to try and make myself into something they could use, and if I didn't do a good enough job, I'd be ostracized. They loved beating me, screaming at me and making me cry, and then they'd leave me in a room crying without being allowed to make any noise, while they laughed in the room next to me, as a family, loudly so I could hear what a great time they were having. They would treat other children gently in front of me in order to try and make me jealous. They would revise every part of what they did to me if I ever tried to bring it up. I wasn't allowed my own perspective, opinion, or complaint. I wasn't even allowed to remember the abuse correctly. I would be locked in a room and questioned and punished if my opinions weren't to their liking.

I don't believe this is something anyone is capable of doing. I don't believe anyone of us is capable of torturing a kid until the kid begs to be killed. I don't believe most of us are capable of erasing a child's point of view, their reality, their humanity to the point where the child is forced to live a life where they will either comply or be killed, and they will be tortured no matter what. This isn't a regular thing that a person can easily do.

Luckily, us who have been through this, have noticed that there is a specific pattern to their behaviour. That they use almost identical phrases with which their invoke guilt, fear and hopelessness. That they can go frighteningly fast from rage to laughter to acting hurt. That they enforce their will over ours with a specific type of terror that triggers both our survival instincts and our compassion and shame. That we've been groomed by them in an almost identical way - to not believe that we're allowed our own feelings, memories, opinions, point of view, or freedom. That we have learned to exist only to be an extension of them.

We also all noticed that we're all absolutely, beyond terrified of them, and that we don't feel we're allowed to say it, or think it. That we're taught by terror to keep believing that they're good people, that they do none of it on purpose, not even the most extreme, insane, egregious abuse. That they will go to any length, even committing more atrocities, to escape accountability. That they use tactics of darvo, gaslighting, double-bind, planting insecurities, triangulating, future faking, discarding, love bombing, mirroring, smear campaigns, projection, scapegoating, silencing, throwing tantrums, victim playing, like it's in their second nature. That they're genuinely, absolutely terrifying and almost unreal in how far they're capable of going. And most of all, that they are dangerous, and capable of completely turning another human being into their puppet, and never think for a second that it might be wrong. To them, we are nothing more but toys to manipulate, control, and discard. We are disposable. There is no limit to what they can do to us, because to them, we are not alive. They would do to us what normal people wouldn't do to a corpse. And they feel superior for it.

People abused by narcissists from early age are likely to develop the most complex and extreme disorders, complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder being some of them, because that's what it takes to survive being a child and existing next to a narcissist. This means that small children need to be shattered in pieces in order to please the narcissist. Others that are very common are eating disorders, anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, and compulsions to cater to everyone's needs, to the point of our own destruction. This is what they make of us, on purpose, in order for us to be of use to them. And they will forever insist it's their right.

When I'm saying the word 'narcissist', I am not referring to 'anyone diagnosed with npd', I am referring to a person who will do this to a child, and insist on doing it for the rest of the child's life. I am writing it because I don't want children to have to live like this forever. I am not aiming to dehumanize the narcissist, their actions show who they are, I am saying, be careful and aware that this person will dehumanize you. That you are disposable to them. That making you feel good in order for you to like them, is a game to them, and one they're very good at. That playing the victim at you and demanding justice, will easily manipulate you into standing against the victims of abuse and talking down to them for 'dehumanizing their abusers', and being 'ableist to the npd', after being tortured past the point of return by those people.

A lot of us are permanently damaged by what's been done to us. We are not asking for justice. We're not asking for revenge. We are asking to be safe. We're asking for this to stop. We're asking for children not to be left alone with people who are dangerous to this level. We're asking you to understand that a narcissist left alone with a child means a child in danger.

It's common to not be aware just how bad it can go, because we think that most humans know not to torture a child. We believe that nobody would do things to children that narcissists do. If you read the stories of the survivors, you'll find out what actually happens behind closed doors. The themes of torture, dehumanization, sexual abuse, brainwashing, violence, and extreme cruelty are common, even towards toddlers.

I need you to not attack those children when they grow up and say they no longer want to be around narcissists. I need you to understand that they know what they're talking about when they say it's not safe, that they want to be protected. The society already failed to protect them at their most vulnerable, and they had to make it alive by their wits alone. And now you won't even let them speak without attacking them? It's inexcusable.

If you want to know about the narcissists, read what their victims have gone through. Then make a judgment on whether we're allowed to speak, and whether it's worth warning others to hold caution. I've heard and read stories of narcissistic parents sex-trafficking their own child, holding them captive and locked up and convincing them it's right to do this, using brutal punishments to 'train' them into inhumane slave-like behaviour, keeping the children in state so terrified the children wished they were dead. And in all those cases, they still convinced the children to love their parents, and to never blame them for any kind of abuse. Yes, even in the sex-trafficking cases.

Fighting for those children to realize that they didn't deserve that, is the only correct thing to do. Fighting to help them realize they're in danger, and that they deserve safely, it's not only right but extremely necessary, it's what we all should be putting all of our energy into.

Wanting to keep others safe will never be wrong. Wanting to protect those who still have their identity, their sense of self, their undamaged humanity, their free will and their point of view, that's worth fighting for! And above all, those who already lost it all, need to be protected. We cannot allow for already badly wounded people to be dehumanized over and over again. Nobody deserves that.

[a-hazbin-reader]

alastor x reader where they already have kids and it connects with the headcanons about reader being insecure about their stretch marks but this time it's after she starts loving them and when they're alone, alastor is just like "how about we have another baby?" over and over again and reader constantly gets flustered because she/they knows what he wants to do

Alastor having MORE kids???

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Suggestive, Husband and wife are NOT properly communicating IMPORTANT topics

Description: ☝️⬆️

Being a mother was difficult but definitely rewarding, it was something you had wanted for so long and now you have it

All because of your wonderful husband who fought against the impossible just to make you happy

And you like to think that Alastor is happy with his life too, he certainly seems happy

Well, he's always smiling so..

He's always doting on his babies, practically beaming with pride at every little thing they do

And he doesn't neglect his duties as a husband either 😏

Your confidence is higher than ever and you're living out your dreams with Alastor by your side

You thought your husband would be content with two adorable babies, seeing as the second one was a surprise

Apparently not, he wanted more, your greedy husband

He springs the question on you while you two are alone, enjoying your uninterrupted time together

You barely have time to catch your breath before Alastor is kissing and biting at your neck

His claws scrape ever so slightly against your stomach, caressing your marks and reminding both of you of your miracle pregnancy

He pulls away to admire how disheveled you look now, the happy gleam in your eyes as you stare back at him

"Let's have another baby, darling~"

"What?"

He doesn't answer you, instead going back to kissing the life out of you and leaving your knees weak

The next day, you almost think you imagined it, wishful thinking and all that because Alastor is completely normal with you

You almost believe that all the way up until lunchtime with your babies, you're feeding and cooing at them when Alastor comes in

You can feel him watching you from the doorway as you try to get your little boy to take a few more bites of a new food

His sister is, of course, devouring her own food with no problem

Your husband slinks around behind you and wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder

"Mm... they're such beautiful children, aren't they?"

You're so blissed out by the presence of your husband and children that you don't realize where he's going with this

His hands are creeping down to your stomach, rubbing soothing circles into your sides

"Wouldn't it be lovely if we had another one, my dear~?"

Before you can even turn around to ask him if he's serious, Alastor is picking up his daughter and cooing at her

You're left flustered and confused, picking up your son who was getting fussy

You go through weeks of this bizarre ambush tactic of his, your husband never just sitting you down and talking with you

You're in the shower? Alastor slips in, turns the heat up between you two then asks for another baby

You're cleaning up after your babies? Suddenly your husband is there doing all the work and helps you relax afterwards before bringing up more kids

You're not even safe when shopping with him, he brings you tiny baby socks and clothes while lamenting that the twins don't fit in clothes this size anymore

All his little tricks are starting to work on you though

You're definitely getting a second round of baby fever, especially whenever you bump into your husband

You honestly don't know who's jumping who at this point, you just know that you both simultaneously have decided you want another baby

Alastor has you blushing and following after him with just a look

You have him stumbling out of his pants to get to you with just a few curls of your finger

You put the babies down for a nap? Your husband is suddenly right there pulling you into the bedroom

You go into a closet for cleaning supplies? He's locking the door behind you both, and it's a suspiciously long time before you two walk out

Alastor is up in his radio tower? Guess who's strolling in and interrupting his show

Nobody is shocked to find out that you're pregnant again, you two haven't been subtle

But it would've been nice if you guys had asked the rest of them first-

GAH I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG-

[fluff-n-cookies]

Hello :)

Could you please do and platonic Aizawa x daughter reader?

His daughter is in her teen years so she is being like really rebel and all that so they fought a lot, but one day she just breaksdown during one fight and starts crying and apologizing for being a shitty daughter?

I have been avoiding this for so long, and it's all because I have no idea how aizawa would handle something like this. because it goes against everything that Aizawa would try and teach his kid so this may be a little forcefully written, apologies.

TW : unhealthy parenting, mental illness, some suicidal thoughts, probably angsty shit, I dunno, read at your own risk.

We can start this by walking through how this may start in the first place. I think the best place to start is that reader's mom left her and Aizawa when she was very young, and Aizawa, assuming here he didn't understand how to properly tell her why her mother left her, never tells her why.

Now reader is very young so she might blame one of two things.

herself

her father

While both instances would technically work, I think the more favorable option is she blames herself since a young child would probably never blame an adult they look up to and hold dear as the problem.

Up to this point her father has been really kind to her so the only other variable is her, this spirals into social anxiety, low self esteem, and depression. all of which don't help when you have an absent mother and a neglectful father who is both a teacher and a full time hero, which leaves little to no room for children.

(this is also why I think it isn't realistic for Aizawa to keep Eri or a child without another non-hero caretaker. Fight me, I dare you.)

As time goes on, and this child becomes a teenager, she might not know how to properly express her feeling and after being misguided by factors like the internet, other adults, and "friends" she might take out the feeling of being abandoned on her closest caretaker and another source of her problems; Aizawa.

if you purposely yell at him or start arguments it's not going to be very fun because Aizawa has this complex where if his students or other heros represent incompetence or arrogance he expels them or ignores him rather than explaining it to them and helping them improve, this is especially with students.

and since he lacks a true connection with you as his daughter mainly because of his job(s) and past with Oboro which he is still trying to heal from keeping him from bonding with you, he'll treat you as a student like the rest of the teenagers he knows. and even then, you may actually be treated worse than his students because while he interacts with them daily, he interacts with maybe 1 hour every other day.

so from all that he simply ignores you, just stops interacting with you entirely, he's too tired for your bullshit. this action makes the wedge between you two even worse.

if you keep persisting though he will yell back but it's often really short and really loud. something like "SHUT UP" a cold "I don't care." before slamming the door in your face. He knows it's probably not right to do that to your daughter but let's face it. you're just this annoying teenager he legally has to live with if he doesn't want to lose his hero and teaching license.

this is where things actually get very interesting, because let's assume he stops approaching you entirely, you just live in the same house nothing more than that, and while you may act like you hate your father for ruining your family and neglecting you all your life on the outside, remember, you're still that little kid in second grade that blames yourself for your mother leaving and your father not caring for you.

so let's say you realize this and go back to blaming yourself for everything like you did when you where a kid but since your father stopped talking to you entirely explaining your faults to him maybe difficult.

this where my personal experiences come in, I've actually had this happen to me in my own life, and I truely hope that you'll enjoy it. thank you.

---------

why is it that the voices are the loudest in the dead of night?

the moon is gone, the birds are silent, there isn't a single light that shines on your tear streaked face, puffly, swollen, sad, just sad.

years of confusion, neglect, a lack of love in it's purest form.

all because of you.

it's all because of you.

it's sings so prettily, like it's a church choir spreading the word of the lord like it's common knowledge.

it's common knowledge that you are a terrible person!

it cackles.

the urge to strangle yourself to finally feel some relief has never been stronger.

lie awake in the dead of night, in pitch darkness, a proper scenery to match ones broken and cracked soul, be careful, you might hurt yourself, again.

however, one cannot weep in their wallows forever.

the night has to make way for the morning sun.

and a relaxed self pity has to make way to dread.

dread.

dread of him, he who you blame for everything, everything you know is your fault.

it's all your fault.

a click at the door,

the creak of the old wood and the hinges never oiled.

mild thumping footsteps that wander around the apartment that can barely hold your overflowing buckets of tears.

you can mumble out all your pleas.

pleas that this is all a terrible nightmare and your real life is actually one with a kind and loving mother and a supportive and encouraging father.

mumble out the little lies that you made up all these years to make yourself feel worse and other better.

"it's pointless to keep trying."

"I wish I wasn't here."

"why can't I just be happy?"

"it's all my fault,

it's all my fault,

it's all my fault."

the thin walls don't do those in mourning justice though.

for the wind is calm, the branches don't dare to move, the owls, the bats, the sleeping heros in training downstairs don't make a peep.

for the only ones alive, awake, aware, is a man beaten down and broken by society serving as it's protector, ignoring the one in most need of protection all this time. With him is a girl. a girl that's scared, scared of her mirror image that haunts her, a girl who's cried an ocean, screamed a thousand wails of pain, a girl lost in her own heart,

"No wonder no one loves you."

you lie again.

but keen ears trained from years of work with villains hears you, for the first time, he hears you.

not the rebellious teen he's seen yell out strings of pure hatred and fiery insults like he's her own worst enemy.

it's the girl who he saw waiting on the steps to their apartment all those years ago. waiting for her mama to come back home with the promise of cupcakes.

it's the girl who never smiled for the remainder of elementary school.

it's the girl who's heart withered way that autumn evening.

he heard the softest little voice in the dead of night. he heard his daughter cry

"No wonder no one loves you."

.

.

.

"But I love you."

for that whole night, for that whole night.

the peace was disturbed.

for that whole night, it seemed that the moon shone once again.

it may not be the sun. but it'll do for now.

Aizawa walked away shortly after that.

leaving a little girls and her mirror image to ponder.

ponder.

---------

Afterwards I don't think he'd talk about it too much, he's proabably approach you after breakfast the next morning and tell you "you can talk to him about it if you want." but not much more than that

he definitely would change his practices though. like getting you a therapist, taking the weekends off in favor of being around the house more.

he'll let you get used to his presence first like one would with a cat, and one day. maybe years later, or tomorrow, you'll talk to him.

you'll tell him you love him too.

and maybe.

just maybe.

the world will stop,

and everything will be okay.

[pascaloverx]

To Begin Again

CHAPTER TWENTY

Summary: You're a new teacher at a large and influential school. It's a risky step for you, as you've been running from your ex for almost two years. But when Dumbledore asks you to take on a class at the renowned Hogwarts, you can't refuse. However, your life as a newly arrived teacher won't be easy. Especially when the other teachers don't seem eager to make friends. Or rather, two teachers in particular: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Author's Note: Welcome, dear readers. Please leave your comments if you enjoy fanfiction. This fanfic takes place almost in the real world (with the addition of werewolves) and is not a wizarding fanfic. There will be some differences and changes in things from the Harry Potter story or other fanfics in the HP universe, but I promise to do my best writing this fanfic. Dear readers, I'm back. With a significant time jump, Harry, Draco, and others who were once children are now teenagers, almost adults. More mature themes will be portrayed in this fanfic. Come and see how Y/N navigates her new life as a maternal figure for Draco while trying to help Sirius and Harry move forward with their lives. Enjoy the read!

PART TWO

The next morning, you were the first to wake. You slipped out of your room and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast in peace. First, you scrambled the eggs while the coffee brewed, and the bacon sizzled in the fryer. As the bread toasted, you began setting the table, focusing on arranging everything just right. Then, you heard someone coming down the stairs but continued with the table setting. Suddenly, you felt someone standing close behind you, almost leaning over to see what you were doing.

“So, is this the pampered life you’ve given Draco? And yet you have the nerve to criticize how I’ve cared for Harry,” Sirius murmurs, practically embracing you from behind, his voice soft in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

"You mean I pointed out how neglectful you were with him, don’t you?" you reply, nudging Sirius with your elbow, drawing a small groan from him before he moves to grab the toast from the toaster. He also retrieves the orange juice and milk from the fridge, setting them on the table.

"Do you think Harry will ever forgive me?" he asks, his voice dropping to an unexpectedly serious tone as the two of you finish setting the table. You meet his gaze, pausing thoughtfully as you weigh the right words to say.

"I believe he has a good heart—better than yours, without question," you reply, aiming for an understanding tone. "He just needs you to stop being the reckless godfather and start becoming the father figure he can truly rely on." Sirius's expression shifts, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes as if he can see a path to regaining Harry’s trust.

"And that's how you ended up in this situation, where Draco calls you 'stepmother'? By being the mother figure he needed?" Sirius asks genuinely, his gaze searching yours.

You let out a deep sigh before replying. "When we went to the United States, I had no idea how to be what Draco needed. I tried being the teacher he admired so much, but our relationship was more than that. I tried being the 'fun aunt' instead—until he ended up suspended for two weeks for punching a classmate who called him an 'orphan.' When he got home after that, I realized he needed to understand boundaries and respect them."

You pause, then continue, "So we had a long talk. I told him he'd be starting therapy, that we'd find a way for him to feel supported. During those sessions, he admitted he didn’t want to forget his mother, but he needed me to fill the void her absence had left. After that, I became his stepmother."

"Must have been challenging for you both, given that your father..." Sirius starts, but you quickly place a firm hand over his mouth, cutting him off. "If you even think of mentioning what my father did, I’ll end you," you whisper, leaning in to make your threat seem more convincing. But Sirius only looks at you with curiosity rather than fear, a faint smirk playing at the edge of his lips.

Just then, the sound of raised voices echoes down the staircase. Instinctively, you push Sirius into a corner between the living room and the kitchen, hidden from view but within earshot of Draco and Harry’s bickering.

"How can you just act as if nothing happened between us?" Harry asks, his voice low and tense, clearly trying to keep the conversation private. You maintain your grip on Sirius to prevent him from interrupting as you observe the two boys approaching the breakfast table, each taking their place at opposite ends.

"How am I supposed to act, genius?" Draco shoots back, beginning to assemble his breakfast plate. It's evident that both boys are on edge. Sirius glances toward the exit, eager to leave the concealed spot, but you hold him back firmly.

"I know you're angry about what I said—that you don't know how to love someone. But can't we just move on, like we used to?" Harry speaks softly as he inches closer to Draco. Both have set their plates down on the table and are locked in a tense gaze. It's difficult for you to eavesdrop while keeping Sirius from interrupting, but you do your best to listen in.

"Are you suggesting we go back to the days when we hated each other and I used to hit you? Honestly, I could consider it, but I need to eat first," Draco replies casually as he inches closer to Harry, who appears to be flirting back.

"I'm suggesting we return to the way things were before our last argument; we were always talking, and you mentioned how much you wished we could be closer, don't you remember?" Harry says, wrapping his arms around Draco's waist and whispering something in his ear. Draco gazes at Harry, as if on the verge of exploding; his usual bravado seems to wane slightly.

"Of course, let's keep going. That way, when your idiot godfather finishes ruining his life and yours, you'll take it out on me. No way. Not in a million years. If you're looking for someone to wet your lips, find someone else," Draco retorts, regaining his usual confidence while still in Harry's embrace. At that moment, he leans closer to Harry, their faces nearly touching as if about to share a kiss.

"Are you sure you want me to find someone else?" Harry asks, planting a quick kiss on Draco, who is completely captivated by him. At that moment, you can hardly see anything else. Sirius is too preoccupied, nearly grinding against you, to be shocked by the fact that Draco and Harry are romantically interested in each other. Although, when Draco insulted him earlier, you had to restrain Sirius from reacting.

"Could you stop using this moment to try to seduce me?" you say, shooting an annoyed glance at Sirius, who lets out a muffled laugh. Your voice must remain low to avoid alerting Draco and Harry to your presence.

"You put us in this tiny spot, and I'm the one trying to seduce you?" Sirius says, leaning in unusually close. However, you notice that Harry and Draco have fallen silent, prompting you to act before they discover your hiding place. Without hesitation, you pull Sirius's face closer and initiate a kiss. It was meant to be a calm, emotionless kiss, but Sirius firmly grips your waist, deepening the kiss unexpectedly.

"What are you two doing?" Harry asks as he and Draco stumble upon the small hiding spot where you and Sirius are. "Well, Potter, you wear glasses; can't you see that your godfather can't keep his hands off my stepmother?" Draco replies, his tone disapproving, clearly annoyed by the situation.

Relieved they hadn't caught on to your spying, you felt little need to act regretful about kissing Sirius. Nonetheless, you stepped away from him and moved toward the breakfast table, with the three following close behind. "Look, you’re both grown; adults have… needs and impulses. What matters is that it's none of your business," you say, brushing off the topic, though a bit flustered. "Now, I'll be heading to Hogwarts today to enroll both of you in the summer program. Anyone care to join me?" You attempt to change the subject, hoping to ease the awkwardness lingering in the air.

"I’d like to accompany you, if that’s alright," Harry says, deliberately avoiding any mention of what he just witnessed.

"And we're supposed to pretend we didn’t just catch you sneaking around with that brute, Sirius Black?" Draco exclaims, almost shouting. You look at him with a silent reprimand, and he quickly realizes he may have crossed a line.

"I fail to see why you're acting as if I did anything your stepmother didn’t appreciate," Sirius adds smugly, casting a victorious glance at Draco, who immediately rolls his eyes in response.

"Enough. I want everyone silent." You look firmly between them, your tone leaving no room for argument. "Draco, please set aside your disdain for Sirius and try to get along with him. Since Harry will be coming with me to Hogwarts, you’ll accompany Sirius into town to handle his probation meeting and buy both your uniform and Harry's. And yes, that’s an order—non-negotiable." Draco and Sirius both bristle with indignation, while Harry can’t help but smile at the scene.

"I am not going with him!" Sirius and Draco declare in unison, causing Harry to burst into laughter. You step forward, gaze sharp and authoritative, letting the weight of your words settle between them. "Oh, you most certainly will," you reply, voice firm as steel. "Or both of you can find new accommodations—on the street."

Draco and Sirius both exchange a glance, clearly agitated, but they fall silent under your unyielding stare. After a moment, Draco rolls his eyes and mutters, "Fine. But if he says one thing I don’t like…" He doesn’t finish, giving Sirius a pointed look. Sirius, equally unamused, huffs, crossing his arms.

Sirius narrows his eyes at Draco. "I dare you to finish that sentence, spoiled brat," he growls, trying to intimidate him. Draco glances away, almost instinctively moving behind Harry, who steps in with a smirk. "Take it easy, godfather. Draco’s only half as annoying as you, after all," Harry teases, both defending and ribbing Draco. At first, Draco looks pleased, but his expression quickly shifts to one of irritation. Sirius also makes a face, clearly unamused by Harry’s defense of Draco.

You sigh, cutting through their bickering. "If you children are quite finished, I’ll be upstairs getting ready. Harry, do the same. As for you two—Draco, Sirius—there’s no saving either of you. Spend time together or don’t; it’s hardly my concern.” Finishing your coffee, you turn and head to your room, leaving them to sort themselves out.

You don’t take long to get ready, though your mind drifts to the kiss with Sirius and the realization that Harry and Draco have romantic feelings for each other. As you head downstairs, you find Harry already dressed, waiting patiently on the sofa. Sirius, too, is ready but looks visibly impatient as he waits for Draco, who seems to be taking his time in front of the mirror.

"At this rate, we’ll grow old waiting for him," Sirius mutters, rolling his eyes. Harry gives a slight smirk, and you manage a calm, collected expression, though internally, you’re bracing for whatever might unfold between them today.

"You’re already old enough, Sirius!" Draco shouts as he joins the group, laughing at his own joke. Sirius shoots him a look that, if looks could kill, would have left Draco in the dust. You give Draco a light tap on the arm, prompting him to mumble an apology, which only makes Harry tease him further.

"Didn’t think I'd ever see the day Draco Malfoy apologized," Harry grins, crossing his arms.

Draco huffs, shooting him a mock glare. “Don’t get used to it.” You roll your eyes at their banter, feeling like you’re managing a group of overgrown children, yet you can't help the amused smile that slips through.

“Say goodbye to each other while Sirius and I go get the cars. Draco, don’t forget to lock the door,” you instruct, leading Sirius by the arm and giving the boys a moment of privacy.

“I don’t think it’s wise to leave those two alone,” Sirius whispers as you gently push him along.

“They’ll be fine,” you reply, casting a glance back at the boys, who are already engrossed in their playful bickering. “They need to work things out, and besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“You convinced me. So, if I understood correctly, besides a kiss, you’re giving me a car?” Sirius laughs, stepping in front of you to block your path, clearly intent on provoking you.

“The car is actually Draco’s. He’ll probably want to drive. But you’re the adult… or maybe not, considering how you two act like you’re the same age,” you say, your gaze narrowing as you step closer. “So let me be clear—if he doesn’t come back in one piece, I’ll end you.”

He lowers his head to meet your eyes, smirking. “And if I don’t come back in one piece… promise to take care of me?” he murmurs, teasingly close. Without missing a beat, you step on his foot, forcing him to stumble back as you head toward your own car. “In your dreams.”

You head to separate cars in the spacious garage, but Sirius keeps giving you a flirtatious look, as if he believes his kiss might actually make you reconsider your decision about taking guardianship of Harry. It leaves you a bit unsettled, uncertain of his intentions. After a few minutes, Harry and Draco appear, their faces flushed and visibly irritated, and you catch sight of Draco already locked in a heated debate with Sirius over who gets to drive the car. On the drive to Hogwarts, Harry hums a few Arctic Monkeys tunes, eventually landing on "Suck It and See." The lyrics catch your attention, subtly hinting that Harry may be more drawn to Draco’s sharp, sometimes cruel demeanor than you initially thought. The revelation lingers in your mind, and before long, the familiar sight of Hogwarts looms on the horizon.

"Miss, can I go find Hermione and Ron while you handle the paperwork?" Harry asks, looking at you with pleading eyes, almost like a puppy.

"Of course, dear," you reply with a gentle smile. "But don’t plan on wandering too long; I won’t be here all day." As you both step out of the car, Harry pulls you into a quick hug before darting off toward the school, leaving you to your task.

You make your way to the main office, paperwork in hand. The familiar halls of Hogwarts feel both welcoming and a bit surreal as you navigate them with purpose. Once you reach the secretary’s desk, you lay out the necessary documents, prepared to finalize the details of Harry and Draco's summer studies.

As you finally catch sight of a figure approaching—sun-tanned and looking renewed—you immediately recognize Remus. He must have just returned from wherever he was with his fiancée, you assume. Alert, you turn to the secretary and politely ask if the paperwork will take much longer. The kindly woman reassures you that it’s nearly complete, mentioning something about how lovely the weather is today. You nod along absentmindedly, all the while planning an escape route; facing Remus after everything that’s happened would be unbearable.

At last, she hands you the completed paperwork, and you confirm that both Draco and Harry are now set for summer studies. With a quick thank-you, you make your way to a room on the lower floor, hoping you managed to avoid being noticed. Minutes pass, and just as you begin to feel safe enough to leave, Lupin strides into the room at the exact moment you’re opening the door. You lose your footing in the sudden collision, stumbling as he steps in.

For heaven's sake, why on earth did you have to come in here?" you snap, barely resisting the urge to slam the door in Remus's face. He chuckles, as though he finds the whole thing amusing. "Yes, laugh at my misery. That’s just what I needed," you mutter, brushing yourself off as you stand, letting out a frustrated huff.

Remus steps fully into the room, his smile fading as he extends a hand to help you up. Naturally, you refuse. At times, you’re reminded of Draco in moments like this, and it almost unsettles you. "And what exactly have I done to irritate you this much?" Remus asks, watching you struggle slightly as you get to your feet, an amused curiosity in his gaze.

“Just by existing, Remus. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do,” you say, swiftly leaving the room and heading toward the school’s entrance, deciding that waiting for Harry in the car is the best plan. But Remus isn’t easily shaken. He follows closely, matching your quick pace. Just as you reach the car, he grabs your arm, stopping you before you can open the door.

"I feel we need to talk. I want to understand what I've done to upset you so much. Perhaps we could grab a coffee together…" he suggests gently.

You turn to him, brushing his hand off your arm. "Well then, explain to me how abandoning your eternal love for Sirius and Harry was part of moving on. Because the last time we spoke, you wrote to me saying you had moved on and didn’t want anything to do with your past. I foolishly shared information about werewolves that I gathered, and you didn’t even bother to acknowledge it. I can understand being discarded, but Harry and Sirius were your family." You confront him, your body inching closer as you throw everything back in his face. He looks utterly lost, caught off guard by your words.

"Hey, wait a minute. I don’t know anything about any letter. I only saw the message you sent to my phone telling me to forget you. You don’t want to discuss that, do you? And what information about werewolves did you manage to gather?" Lupin asks, once again grabbing your arm as you try to pull away.

"Go to hell, Remus. Honestly, has your engagement eaten your brain? Don’t try to deceive me. But since you've forgotten, I found a group of werewolves in the United States. It’s a small group, but they knew a lot. There’s a special tea that helps control transformations and a kind of panic room that’s great for passing the time during transformations. If you’re interested, find the letter you ignored and read it. Now get out of my way, or I’ll walk right over you." You’re furious but manage to respond to him, though you can’t understand why you’re so close.

"I didn’t ignore you, Y/N," Lupin says, sounding sincere, the scoundrel. He then releases your arm, and you glare at him with anger.

"I didn’t ask for your company, Remus," you reply sharply, continuing to stride toward where Harry might be. Remus follows closely, the tension between you palpable.

"Well, you’re stuck with me now," he counters, irritation creeping into his voice.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[windalchemist001]

So time to mention the npc (I know it's not the right term to use, but it works so well) for my story #a leap in time

Also note given how picrew is, for the adults just try to imagen them aged up since the picture would be in their younger years

Warda Begum (Al-asim)

Warda is the youngest in the begum family. And spent most of her life competing against someone be it strangers or her own family she worked hard to maintain her image and to earn money for the begum name.

As such her heard work has earn her the Nickname "flower of the scalding sands" due to her beauty and graceful dances

It also helps that she does a lot of charity work in order to befit the family name, which also helps with her reputation. And in between studying and practice she also runs a branch of her families business

But with this all combined she had been hoping not to lose to her siblings who also were doing the same thing, after all the loser would have an arranged marriage and she had refused to lose

Unfortunately a bit of bad luck or good luck happened while at a party and trying to get the wealthy people to donate to one of the charities she was doing. it was mention by someone about her preforms and the al-asim(s) had to see it so she ended up doing her routine.

Her dance was so capaciting that the al-asim wanted warda as their son's bride, and talking to her parents they decided that what's they were going to do, so pouring money into her older siblings branches as well the charities they support they made sure warda would lose the comption and thus would allow them to insurers they could have her as kailim's bride.

((The dance i was thinking of but she does others this the one she put on with no prep time))

And while her and her family were unamused since doing so ruin the whole thing of them working to prove their worth, instead their worth was being unnecessary inflated just to basically buy warda. They had to all admit it was impressive. Thus the youngest wrote up a contract which everyone in her family looked over to help make sure she didn't miss anything and went to the al-asims and thus was kailim bride to be after the contract was signed.

So adding more to her plate she begin training to be kailim's bride and she didn't see kailim till he return home from nrc where they were announced to be married, she also bought out the contracts for kailim to sign, so that way she can be sure she's safe.

Once she does marry kailim and becomes an al-asim she begins doing her tasks as his wife while also running some of the al-asim business (though they are here own she is using funding from the family to start it up) she is also in charge of the house hold and does well to get along with her in laws and keeps an eye on her husband to make sure he isn't doing anything stupid.

As for the help she doesn't trust anyone since they don't have her best interest in mind and while it takes a bit she does end up making and getting g those loyal to her, especially so when she manged to get the married in viper and newly born viper into being loyal to her more so that he blood al-asims.

And when she has her children she loves and adore them, but she raises them to strong especially in the al-asim house hold. But even have the death of her daughter (something even she couldn't keep her emotions in check for) she's been more careful and watchful of her son, to the point she knows a lot more so than her son realizes. But so long as he's safe thats all that maters to her.

Though she does continue to scold kailim for neglecting his duties as a father to his legitimate heir whcih annoys her because she handles the harem (the other woman kailim slept with just because they reminded him of who he actually liked but he only slept with them all once) and other such things but she needs him to love her true son, not for her sake but for his so that's always something of tension, not even going into the mater that kailim doesn't actually love her and is in love with someone who isn't fully around anymore but that's whst ever she's got her children and that's all that maters to her.

---------------------------

Now jumping away from the mistress of the house we jump to married in viper.

Julian (viper)

Julian spent his years being raised at an orphanage in fleur city, and while he never new his real family he saw the caretaker (the nicer ones) as his family. While there he spent his time trying to help the caretaker by doing odd jobs and what not. And when he aged out of the orphanage he went in to continue his dreams of being a wildlife/nature photographer something he started when he was rather little.

In fact this hobby lead him to meeting the love of his life Najma viper. And due to not really having a last name he took najma's last name and was over all happy with being with her. (Though he did not fully like her parents) he was happy even when they started their family he didn't think anything could ever go wrong.

At least till the incident where she almost died or rather she did die but was bought back to life, and while she did live Julian than had to deal with his in laws trying to not only pin the blame on her but also attempted to cover up the incident.

So Julian begin working for warda someone who is trying to help him when she can to help keep his family safe.

---------------------------

Pavlina Floros (Shroud)

Pavlina is a weeb. Whose family runs a flower/garden business. Her family has run the business for several generations and she's rather happy. On her free time Pavlina spends making cosplay outfits to wear at cons. even if her family doesn't understand her hobbies and think she's wried for it, she still does it because she love it so.

One day she meets a guy (idia) at a con who not only noticed the smallest detail of her outfit but actually knew what she was cosplaying as. And while they did talk about it for a bit the guy being shy seemed to want to flee at a few points but Pavlina decided that she was going to claim this man as hers and thus begin to pursue him. And kept following him and being subtle and bold with her moves. And it got to the point by the end of the convention Pavlina was able to interwine the arms and fingers while nuzzling close to him.

And while her mom didn't seem to approve her dad was fine with Pavlina going to be with the guy after dating for a few years (mostly long distance) not that it matter because she was going to marry the man she loves no mater what her parents say. But anyway if she could have she would have carried idia into the sunset but she can't at least not for to long away.

-------------------------------

And finally were get away from the adults and jumping to npc who is actually not to much older than the main cast but were jumping back to scalding sands for this one and one that is somewhat losely based on a Disney character

Sakhr Qadir

Sakhr life is shit and all he know is a life of crime. He's actually not to against taking lives but the guy does have a code he runs by even if the code is not very good one to most of society. None the less so long as he can get what he wants he's doesn't care what happens to others.

Though despite that he was able to get underlings and run a gang that he had running about or rather he use to run it but when he was challenged by "King"(chaim) he lost and ended up having to listen to him. But Sakhr isn't one to be let down and he will challenge "king" for his spot back but he has yet to win a fight. But even he has to admit at least to himself the perks for following king are nice.

[brineffxiv]

We gather in Limsa Lominsa, awaiting the boat that will take us to Sharlayan, where we will reunite with Krile and set about attempting to solve the many problems that face us.

Hoary Boulder and Coultenet stop by to see us off and to make sure we've got everyone's well wishes and assurances that they'll take care of things while we're gone. And so, with mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation, we set off!

Be still my heart! Is that the voice of Emet-Selch!?

It is him, isn't it?? Oh, I have missed you terribly. Are you narrating this expansion? How? You're dead. Oh, I might cry.

Oh no, now I'm definitely going to cry. Why is the sad music playing!?

Goodness, Tataru couldn't spring for a cabin? Even a bunk? We've just got to sleep here on the floor? Maybe I will go for that walk.

Uh...

Oh, my God.

Hydaelyn. I... have some questions. I feel. Somewhat betrayed. More so on behalf of my friends, than myself. For while it is true you have never - that I know of - done wrong by me, I have complaint over how you have treated my fellow warriors of light and your oracles.

A hard choice, to be sure, but I wanted to know more than I wanted to rage.

And now I wish I had chosen the other answer. No, it is not clear to me why now. Why not before, any of the times before? Why not tell us yourself? Why did you not reveal the truth about yourself and the "servants of darkness" ? Why did we have to find out from Emet-Selch what was really going on here? Don't you think that was a little bit important? If you wanted me to trust in you, why have you never been forthcoming with me?

No thanks to you.

And that's another thing. I realize, as a primal, you are bound by the desires of those who brought you forth, from that moment in time. But. What would be so bad about the restoration of the old world? The way we are supposed to be? Why fight so hard to preserve the broken remnants of an accident?

Now, certainly, in the present, we are peoples worthy of living on. But why initially? In the immediate aftermath of the sundering, before we had rebuilt, why not help put the world back together? Was your drive to subdue Zodiark so strong that you could not consider anything that would bring him power?

It seems to me, that as the fight went on, the Ascians became increasingly more in the wrong. But at the start. From where I stand. You were the villain.

Why do you value me so highly. That you would expend the effort to say these words to me when you left Ardbert to languish in perpetual solitary confinement for over a century? When you allowed a succession of Minfilias to fight and die without a word? When your neglect forced the champions of the First to turn to the Ascians for help to save their world? They gave their lives and you wouldn't even speak to them!

I am so mad. I am so very angry with you. I do not understand, and I am furious that you would expend the effort to speak with me just to tell me we're in danger. No duh. We've got a rogue Ascian determined to reenact the Final Days. A problem we wouldn't have if I hadn't gone and killed off the people who were keeping him in line.

If that's supposed to make sense to me I have to tell you it doesn't. How in the world am I supposed to find out what you promised in another age.

I can tell you care about me. You maybe even love me, as a mother should love a child. And I think there is a part of me that reciprocates. That Rhesh'a loves you too. But we cannot see past the injustice of it all. A mother should not pick favorites among her children.

Ahh and now we arrive at Sharlayan. Endwalker is shaping up to be a doozy; I'm already emotionally exhausted.

I am. Unprepared.

Eeee! New city! And Emet-Selch is introducing it to me! Happy happy day!

What happens if we get refused entry? Do we have to get back on the boat?

Right, got it. No talking about the Scions. My lips are zipped.

Ah, yes, I should get around to playing Eureka at some point...

Haha omg. That was... SO long ago. Even longer for G'raha. He went away and lived an entire life and more in the meantime.

I've always wondered what was behind the placements of Archon marks? Clearly the neck is standard, but Urianger chose to put his on his face for some reason? And the pictures I've seen of Louisoix show him with his on his forehead. Hmm... Things to think about.

Trust Fourchenault to have made things difficult. At least Alisaie and Alphinaud aren't precluded from entering. Thankfully it seems that being disowned didn't revoke their citizenship.

I am an Artisan, thank you very much. I didn't level all my DoH/DoL skills to 90 by Stormblood for nothing now.

AHAHAHA! Poor Estinien. He can't think of a job.

Thankfully, Krile arrives to the rescue. Estinien is officially a mercenary. And we are now free to explore Sharlayan, myself with G'raha and Krile in tow!

And here is where I must stop the post, as I have hit my max image allotment, lol. Welcome to Endwalker.

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP4. Replay Part 4

This must have hurt Maria a lot even if Ange didn't mean anything bad by it... kids are really cruel to things they can't understand often.

I am pretty sure cage made of flesh is explicit wording used by Beatrice before too!

This is Ange at her most raw so far, she doesn't want to live. She doesn't want to keep going. She has no one on her side,,,,

And now we go back to Maria having her own breakdown over Ange's word to remind us that Maria truly is miserable. Having a 9? 8 at this point maybe? year old describe living as holding out is so heartbreaking....

It is interesting to see the contrast in how Maria and Ange do with magic when they are faced with a bad situation - Ange starts denying it entirely and Maria instead leans harder into it ie believing the Good and the Bad Mama thing. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer as to which is better, though, both are harmful to both in certain ways.

Maria brings up how NOT LONELY she is so you know she really ISN'T LONELY did you know Maria is NOT LONELY.

Maria is fucked up but then when the police WAS contacted. It just caused Maria's situation to escalate... obviously, I am not saying the good thing to do was ignore this obviously neglected child. Still, sadly that's the fucked up reality of how it is in real life for a lot of children who finally have their abuse reported.

Tearing up again.... this episode certainly takes the cake in that regard....

And yet, no one really helped Maria.... I don't know exactly the situation with abused children in Japan but I always imagined Rosa used her connections and money in order to keep Maria with her.

If you think about how Maria is very likely autistic, this is all the more horrifying, not that it would be good either way, but having someone be punished and be considered their way of being just for the way they were born is just too harsh.

The smile with which she says this is so fucking horrifying.

Beatrice is under the belief that Rosa made the toy, too.... it's funny, if she knew she could probably get it replaced for her....

Even at her lowest, she is still trying to not hurt the Rosa in her brain, haha....

You can judge Sayo for teaching Maria 'bad coping mechanism' and while, yes, it's probably not ideal for a child to have such thoughts, all her positive coping mechanisms were removed forcefully from her, so what option did Maria really have....

She does end up rethreading to that "naive belief" once the harsh truth of her parents murder is presented to her and she wants an alternate truth....

Yeah like getting dunked by a group of ~10 year olds anyways what Amakusa is saying is extremely important and true otherwise, and Ange really wants to be at that point where she can be happy with/satisfy herself, even with all her faults and trauma.

Ange's coming to important realizations about magic and how she has hurt others, something Battler will realize soon enough too... though I think her general view is not really correct, it's not that Maria was truly self-actualized in her life, it's that she constantly lied to herself about being like that. But she needed someone to understand and help her as she is not someone that would try to change her or remove her coping mechanisms bc they are strange.

Some people feel that Ange is too self-actualized for her to go back as she did in ep8, but like, I don't agree. First of all the temptation to deny her parents the murderers is strong and second even here she is still trying to find ways for her to be the fault for an incident that happened when she was 6. She still desperately wishes for control for her life and is still probably considering killing herself on Rokkenjima.

This is, ironically after talks about hating Beatrice, the sort of understanding Sayo always wished for. For someone to not only be able to respect her and her interests but also understand the deeper pain that lead to it.

"And while still unfulfilled, she met with death," Sadly describes most of the Umineko cast and that's always hard for me to think about for me...

B-battler? Okay, I gues... I am not sure George will appreciate that statement but I am sure Shannon appreciates the hint that maybe you didn't forget her after all (crushed hope on the end of this chapter)

Eeugh, I mean, Jessica didn't mean anything by it but it's kind of a cruel thing to say with full context....

Oh, I forgot about this, I guess Sayo just did her Krauss act in front of Maria...

Was it Sayo? They did solve it on like 30 mins when they really tried.... Also the hammy and crazy version of Kinzo is kind of entertaining lol.

The irony of all of this coming out of Nanjo's mouth when he's currently being both bribed to hide the death of his Dear Friend and being bribed to assist in a murder is funny.

Damn uh, yeah uh, yeah sure.

Rosa can't even be assed to prop Maria up in any way haha.....

Maybe I am biased but I think this is 100% more Sayo's view than anything Kinzo ever remotely thought, the "hoping for a magical miracle" combined with the test that are done later being about love....

Aka DO NOT DISMISS EVERYTHING VIRGILIA SAID PLEASE

This is so fucking funny to me? Uwaaaaaaah.

Immediately setting up both Beato and Gaaps' relationship and Beatrice's relationship with Beato, damn!

[horizon-verizon]

i think of Rhaenyra's life and it's just sad. imagine a 8 year old completely scared after her mother's death. then this new step mother comes and it's fine but then as she births sons little Rhaenyra's whole life turns shades darker while still a child like 😭 no matter viserys adored her so much he neglected her when she needed him. she was a child in court full of adults. didn't even have her uncle by her side and when he came back she was a woman grown and so was plagued by rumours again! and more happened and yet she kept her head high and fought for her birth right for something which was promised to her till the very end no matter how it ended.

my heart just breaks for that little rhaenyra so much. i don't think people really understand what kinda place she was living in since she was a child. a little girl.

Before people start slapping this ask with a "Rhaenyra was 15 when Daemon came back from the Stepstones, she wasn't a woman!", yes, duh.

The point of this ask is to look through Rhaenyra using what circumstances she lives through and in. In Rhaenyra's world/society, she is no longer just a child and up for marriage. Viserys had always considered her marriage to Laenor and Westerosi noblewomen (when they are not in special circumstances) usually get married in their mid-teens. For better or worse, yes, Rhaenyra occupies the place of a marriageable not-child youth of majority who was available for marriage at the time that Daemon came back. I wouldn't go so far as to say others around her would think she is a matured woman, more like that she was considered "old enough". Again, that definition of "maiden". Which is itself coming from factual medieval ideas about female life stages:

It was easy enough to pinpoint the start of medieval adolescence. As the writer John Trevisa put it, it was a ‘full age to get children’: that is, entering puberty. When it ended, however, was less clear. As Avicenna, the great Persian philosopher, wrote in a work that was translated into Latin and widely disseminated throughout the Middle Ages: ‘There is the age of growing up, which is called the age of adolescence and commonly lasts until the age of thirty.’ Avicenna was contributing to the scholarship on ‘The Ages of Man’, used by many medieval thinkers to explain the stages of man’s life. While ‘man’ might be a universal term for humanity, these schemes make it clear they were not about female experience. The 13th-century jurist Henry of Bracton said a woman reached maturity when she was able to take on the responsibilities of a housewife, but few other writers concerned themselves much with the female life cycle. Women were believed to experience the prime of their lives during adolescence, as this was the age when they were considered to be most spiritually pure and physically beautiful. For a female youth, adolescence was tied to her ‘maidenhood’ – both her youth and her virginity – and so with marriage and the loss of her virgin status she was usually perceived to have exited the most ‘perfect age’ of a woman’s life. In short, girls usually became women because of their relationships with men: when they left their natal families and became wives. Boys’ transition to manhood was a longer and more variable process.

GRRM takes medieval ideas about womanhood and gives the word "maiden" a more technical and material existence/role in the Westerosi feudal social system, but the idea remains the same. What's different is that 15-year-old Rhaenyra--as heir and a girl coming into authority in her own right over men instead of subject to her husband's authority in the official manner--now also partially occupied that which is a male office and condition of power, so she would be simultaneously seen as not as capable and someone who should "realize" how much responsibility she's been given.

And that is where Daemon as her boon comes into play. Regarding the timeline of their relationship, Daemon treated her as a child first when she was actually young, and then as a person capable of making their decisions--at least compared to others--as well as protected her claim to the throne. No, the gifts he'd intermittently give her BEFORE he left for the Stepstones were not of the socially isolating kind.

Yeah, this can be considered grooming, semi-Doylistically. Esp since it was not official, open courting that the girl's father approved of.

Why this specification? Grooming entails:

physically or emotionally separate a victim from those protecting them and often seek out positions in which they have contact with minors

gaining the trust of a potential victim through gifts, attention, sharing “secrets” and other means to make them feel that they have a caring relationship and to train them to keep the relationship secret

will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless, such as hugging, wrestling and tickling, and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact, such as massages or showering together. Abusers may also show the victim pornography or discuss sexual topics with them, to introduce the idea of sexual contact

behaviors are not only used to gain a victim’s trust, but often are used to create a trustworthy image and relationship with their family and community. Child and teen sexual abusers are often charming, kind, and helpful — exactly the type of behavior we value in friends and acquaintances

Daemon never tried to be kind or mild enough to anyone except Rhaenyra and his kids out for well-wishes for that individual or to make them feel good for the sake of it. Even with the gold cloaks, he was a leader who had to keep the loyalty of those under his command, which entails giving a sense of purpose and confidence. The guy is not a man of complex duplicity and machination, he's a guy who has a family heritage of dragonriders that lives in an incestuous family. Both he and Rhaenyra are products and individuals shaped by their conditions. And their conditions allow/necessitate that they look to each other as first partners-by-family-and-sustained/proven-trust, then the sexual/romantic element infused into that base that is uniquely Targaryen/Valyrian dragonrider. *EDIT* REMOVED LAST SENTENCE *END OF EDIT*

Back to the ask, yes, it is a sad story. It is a weird state to acknowledge that as a princess she enjoyed a lot more luxuries and protections than "commonborn" girls and women while also having her own classist view AND how she had been so exposed to adult intrigue before she turned 10. But this is the truth. The most Rhaenyra got to live as an autonomous person doing her own thing--before marrying Daemon--as much as she could was after she left the Red Keep for Dragonstone to become its ruling "Lady" and raise her kids with her lover/guardsman Harwin Strong.

[serenity-songbird]

Howdy!!!

It's been quite a while.

I'm sorry for the sudden disappearance with no communication.

Truth is...I've been through a lot...For so long I have been trying to bury my past...to the point it become too much to Handle.

So...I have decided that I will tell you the story of Serenity Songbird.

It's not just for the sake of my mental health. It is also for the hope that you may read this and learn that sometimes...you have to face your fears if you want the pain to stop.

By the trigger warnings, you will most likely know the issues already.

FYI. You don't have to read. This is mainly for me to get out all my frustrations, fears, and sorrows.

Below contain triggering topics like: Rape, Attempted Suicide, Self Harm, Child Abuse & Neglect, Bullying PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression.

If any of these topics bother you. Stop reading.

This is mainly an Autobiography to lift the load of my chest and aid in my recovery.

Beware. This is going to be long...

My name is Serenity Song.

I have been described by people who me know as:

Creative

Kind

Loving

Loyal

Weird (But in a good way)

Funny

Shy/Timid

Happy-Go-lucky

Talented

And definitely a doormat..

I grew up in the suburbs. Nice neighborhood. Great neighbors and long time friends. I have 2 parents who love me and 2 brothers who, definitely could be annoying at times, but of course we loved each other in our own sibling way.

For the first 12 years..I was happy. Sure it had it's ups and downs with my parents having arguments every other day. Being punished and beat for the stupid things we all do as children.

It wasn't so bad...Except for the fact that I was constantly bullied and told how much of an ugly freak I was. So I definitely didn't have self esteem back then.

But I managed to endure it...After all...

Kids are cruel and if you are being bullied, it's your fault. So. Just. Be. Normal. "It's not a big deal."

...

*Well...there's trauma number 1.*

Because bullying is never okay. It shouldn't be normalized. And yes. It. Is. Traumatic. And it is NOT. Your. Fault.

Then, I turned 13 close to the end of my 8th year in middle school. The bullying stopped. I was so happy. Not only that but was I going to be a high schooler schooler soon! And I was to go into it with a boyfriend!

**Introducing trauma number 2.**

I was excited......But I couldn't enjoy it for long because my life went down into flames.

My very first boyfriend left me for my best friend. He broke up with me over text...on Christmas Eve...the day. Before. My. Birthday.

I found out after winter break. My friends, who were hesitant to tell me, said they were dating.

I felt so insecure and hurt that I confessed not to one but 2 of my closest friends. Not out of love, but desperation. But I didn't know that at the time.

That hurt. He not only got over me so easily, but I found out she confessed to him after we started dating and got together immediately after breaking up. Yet, because of the fact that I had very few friends to begin with, I didn't say anything. I just smiled and congratulated them. Because we are Best Friends...

Yeah right.

The first one, lasted two weeks. I just realized I didn't have feeling for him. We stayed friends, but I felt like a piece of shit.

The second one, lasted two and a half years. It was the biggest mistake I ever made.

Long story short...At 13 years old, I was raped by the boy I thought I loved. And despite the pain and fear, he manipulated me into thinking I wanted it. I didn't. But his snake-like whisper echoed in my mind...

"You are my girlfriend. That means you HAVE TO have sex with me. That's what girlfriends do. Now get dressed. My mom will be here soon."

***Trauma number 3.***

And he left without another word. And it happened again and again...to the point where I felt numb.

He didn't just abuse me sexually, but emotionally. He would constantly belittle me, ridicule me, and he separated me from my friends.

My friends tried to tell me something wasn't right with him...I didn't listen because I thought that I was in love...

How wrong I was...

And if that wasn't enough...at the exact same time, my Mami cheated on my Papi with 5 men. And he moved out to live with my Titi (aunt) until he could get his life back together.

I didn't know at the time what she did, I only found out months later. All I knew was that they got into a fight and got divorced.

******And so trauma number 4, 5, & 6 begin.******

He gave the house...and us....to my mother. Because he loved her and he didn't want to suddenly uproot the lives of his children and take them away from friends...

I wish he took us with him. I'd rather move to a whole other city than to endure the things my mother did to us...And what my boyfriend did to me.

Now...Don't get me wrong. Unlike some divorces, my Papi didn't completely abandon us. He'd visit. We'd sleep over at his temporary home every 2 weeks. We spent holidays and birthdays together still. And he didn't show any negative emotion towards my mother for our sake.

But I knew he was hurting. No matter how hard he tried to hide it.

The problem with my Mami was...she was in a deep depression. She had tried to kill herself. She would lay on her bed crying for hours while my 10 year old brother and I could hear from downstairs.

Then she started leaving us alone.

Everyday she went out to party and got drunk with friends. She would bring strange men home and we could hear them having sex. Which was gross. 🤢🤢🤢

Who the hell were these men?

It got so bad, I told my brother to lock the door everytime he was in there. Unfortunately, my lock didn't work, so I hid a knife under my bed for protection.

Then she would leave for days on end. Never came home. Which means she never went grocery shopping.

My brother and I scavenged for food...But we ran low.

I was now the caretaker of my brother. I bought his food with my birthday money. I did our laundry. I would take him outside with me to play games when my mother was...doing her business. Covered his ears. Said it was okay.

There was this one day that has haunted me for years...it still does.

One day, I went to check up on her. I didn't know what to say or do to make her feel better. How could I? I was just a kid.

"It's YOUR FAULT I am feeling like this. You're my daughter so you have to make me feel better. You're so WORTHLESS. You father is gone because you didn't stop him from leaving."

Worthless? MY fault?

Ever since then...I feel like every problem I encounter IS my fault. Even when it clearly isn't.

At the time I was afraid to tell my Papi..If I said anything Mami would go to jail. They'll take me and my younger brother away. I wished that my older brother didn't go to the army so he could help. He always know what to do. But we didn't have him at the time.

I wish I told my Papi...If I did...I wouldn't be so...messed up.

Then Mami invited a stranger into the house, but this time...he didn't leave. After 6 months of weeping and the finalized divorce papers, my Mami got engaged and married to one of the men she cheated on my Papi with...

I hated them.

I resented them.

Even know...I still can't get over this resentment for all the things that women put us through.

...

But when she married my Step-dad, things got better...

Mami was happy again. And Papi got an apartment and was in a happy relationship. (Though they didn't get married right away like my Mami did. And it took a lot more time for him to move on).

He cooked. He cleaned. He...took care of us and never layed a hand on us. He made us laugh.

At the time, I was quite the poet and singer. He'd listen to all my songs and poems. He was kind and involved himself in our lives and after school activities.

Eventually, I grew to love my Step-dad and now I have 2 Papi's and 2 Mami's. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

And then...my boyfriend's mother found out about what me and him were doing behind closed doors and told my parents.

We got in trouble. Grounded for the entire summer and not allowed to see each other. I got yelled at...I blamed myself. It was MY FAULT. I DESERVE THIS.

I told them it was consented. I defended him. Because I loved him.

My step dad marched into his house to yell at him...

That was embarrassing...Especially when he yelled, "HOW DARE YOU F*** MY DAUGHTER IN THE ***!"

I was mortified. He shouldn't have said that.

(I didn't tell them about the abuse until I was 21. I could see the regret, anger, and concern in their eyes...My mom had to hold my step-dad from hurting him...)

I was severely depressed over the summer. My mom gave me her antidepressants to help...I nearly overdosed because she didn't know that while the dosage was perfect for her, it was too much for me. My step-dad was pissed when he found out. She didn't give them to me anymore.

After the summer break, we saw each other again...And we were still together... But he was different...Crueler...Meaner.

Yet...I stayed. Because I loved him.

I was now constantly anxious that I did something wrong. I started to cut my arms. I tried to kill myself with a scarf only to fail.

"I've changed."

His abuse got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. We broke up.

Then got back together a week later after he manipulated me.

He didn't.

I didn't last long. I officially broke up with my abusive boyfriend forever.

I was finally free.

I should be happy...

"Why am I not happy?"

In order to be happy. I had to forget. I'm not suffering anymore.

Just. Forget. About. It.

So I dug down to the deepest, darkest place in my head.

I covered it.

I chained it.

I locked it up and threw away the key.

As the years went by I suffered more bad luck.

From one toxic relationship to the other.

*I lost count of the trauma I endured.*

I was desperate for love. I wanted to feel like my body was mine and nobody else's. So I had to prove it by doing, what I convinced myself, I wanted.

More painful memories were added to the pile...

But soon...there was no more room.

And the past started to leak out.

I woke up, sweating and choking on air. Trying to control my breathing, but my chest felt like it was constricted.

Memories I tried to forget flashed into my mind.

I started to see things...hear things. But nothing was there.

There were moments where I was no longer in my house, but back in my childhood home relieving my worst nightmares.

Than one day...I snapped.

Just 2 months ago, I nearly drove my car off a bridge.

That's when I knew I needed help...Not just for my sake, but my husband's.

I didn't even realize what I was doing until my car hit the curb making the car jump. I snapped out of it and swerved.

I rushed home and I cover the entire top half of my arms with razor scratches and watched the blood drip down into the sink.

I just can't live like this anymore...

Then my husband saw my arms and he cried for me and held me close.

Truthfully, if it wasn't for him...I would have done it. I would not be here now if it wasn't for his support and love for the past 3 and a half years we've been together.

I was admitted into the hospital with constant supervision.

I was diagnosed with PTSD...

Not only that but my body suffers from illness as well. From my brain, to my heart, lungs, liver, immune system, and GI system. All due to weight gain and unhealthy lifestyle from my eating disorder.

It sucks...It really really sucks. I am so fortunate to be blessed with a loving and supportive family as well as an understanding boss and coworkers. Not a lot of people can say that.

I'm still recovering, but I've started seeing Doctors for all my issues. I see my therapist and psychiatrist regularly. The meds help a lot as well.

I'm recovering slowly. But I know it's going to take a long time before I can say that I'm healed. Could be years for all I know. But I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm trying to help myself.

Thank you all for the messages to check up on me and your kind words of encouragement. I am thankful to have understanding and caring followers. I love each and everyone of you.

If y'all ever need an ear to listen to listen and a shoulder to cry on. You can always shoot me a message.

I'm here for you.

And thank you for reading.

~Here's your daily dose of love~

😘😘😘

[yumejo]

Ok I've been thinking about this for Days now

It's so funny, the way both nazuna and I know how important it is to love someone right

It's so funny how we both know how it feels to be told and/or tell ourselves that we are loved, but we both know how well it hurts us, to be raised without the emotional support that we need.

His parents weren't there. His dad, like mine funnily enough, wasn't physically there for most of the time. (Got up early and came home later for dinner since he worked so much) his mom didn't really compensate for that, else he would've probably mentioned somewhere how she meant a lot to him (she does not, he only mentions what I can presume to be his mom's expectation to be cute, shared among the community probably) nobody filled that gap, while he likely lived a comfortable life, his parents weren't special to him. Of course he knows people have it worse, not enough to live comfortably. But he rarely mentions his parents- in fact, he mentions his religion more than his parents- and that says something about their lack of presence in his life- probably enough to stop him from forming a grudge but not enough to be special to him. And then we all know how the thing with shu went, but this whole topic deserves an essay

Anyways, like him, just sharing to make a point, my parents aren't that special to me, in the sense that I don't have much of an emotional attachment to them. My dad traveled 5/7 days of most weeks for years, only now its weird because sometimes he'll be home for weeks straight and it's so weird. But my mom just doesn't know how to make an emotional connection to me. I get she takes care of my health, takes me to places I need to be, buys me things I need.

But what's in common is that both our parents never got to know us, despite being both only children. And this wasn't meant to be a rant, but a really interesting comparison and perhaps I'm sort of numb to it all

Though where we differ, despite having suffered the same unfortunate situation, is like how we handled it... nazuna chose to explore his inside, who he is, and he's still doing that today. In his search for himself, he met a lot of people to help him realize about himself to build a connection with people he wants to build.

And for me, I look outside- what can I achieve, how can I look for other people to approach me. How can I be cool and successful, so that it's good for everyone to build a meaningful relationship.

It's so starkly different when you look it like that, and of course we both do what the other does (nazuna still looks to achieve and help others, and I still look to discover my relationship with myself)

And it's so interesting that how both he and I understand the effects of doing so, why we're so scared to change without notice, yet why we know we have to grow and that it's so important to know that between us

Sorry for the more deep thoughts I'll be return with silly thoughts soon

some people don't understand the impact emotional neglect can have on a child; just because you provide your child with the physical things they need to take care of themselves, doesn't mean you're giving your kid everything they need. i'm actually super passionate about this sort of thing, as well, but only by extension of my mom and how she was brought up with my grandma (only mentioning it to let you know i can understand 100% where you're coming from, to both you and nazuna).

for you and nazuna, don't you think you two just complete each other in ways you can only fulfill for each other? you understand each other, and nazuna can offer you advice you don't often turn to—and vice-versa, you do that for him!

sometimes nazuna gets wrapped up in the heat of the moment, and loses himself; and who better to remind him once more of who he is than his beloved? the person who's always watching him and others?

and what about you? you got along really well with that person, he seen how you were able to steadily open up, and you should keep doing that. trust in that person, slowly; be yourself one step at a time. and it's okay to fumble, to revert back and hide when you're scared—you came out of your comfort zone, he'll tell you, isn't that something alone to be celebrated?

[furiousgoldfish]

Parents will go 'I did the best I could', 'I'm not perfect', 'You can't blame me, I've been through worse', 'I didn't mean it that way', 'You're too sensitive', 'I did it out of love' and 'Sometimes people make mistakes', and pretend like they're too dumb to understand that they hurt you, like they just didn't realize you were in extreme amounts of pain, neglected, feeling despised, condemned, irredeemable and suicidal, but for you there was never a moment of your life when you were allowed to 'simply not realize what you were doing.'

You have been punished every single time your intentions were right and you didn't notice you were annoying someone or testing someone's patience. You were held responsible not only for what you did but for how it affected everyone else, until you learned to be hyper vigilant of the effect of your every action, to the point where you'd get paralyzed because any action could end up in someone taking offense. You were never allowed to be dumb about your actions, you were not even allowed to learn! Even just not knowing everyone's reactions in advance could get you hurt.

You learned that they are allowed to be dumb, ignorant, walk over everyone else's feelings, demand attention, demand sympathy, consideration, leeway, compassion, understanding, and space to learn (even when they outright refused to learn), but you were not allowed any of these things. Even as they were the adults, they could play dumb and cause havoc, while you, a child, were responsible for being, in every situation, absolutely perfect, or condemned to hell for imperfection.

Why was this necessary? Why is the world still fighting for everyone to take it easy on the parents, but condemn the children? Do we need children to emotionally and psychologically serve their parent's needs, to the point where they grow up neglected and traumatized? Do parents have children in order to have easily broken and controlled servants? Someone they could burden with all of their emotional baggage and then demand compassion and love from? While neglecting that same child, and pretending the child doesn't need any attention or help growing up? Punishing them for showing pain?

We don't need that kind of world, and we don't need that kind of parents.

[katzenschlafs]

And all Scrooge needed to become more compassionate and caring toward himself and others was.... being forced to actually see things as they are. To have the blinders pulled off.

Scrooge is essentially dissociated from his own memories, from his own current experiences, and from all the people around him. It's a protective mechanism. "If I don't look, it can't hurt me." And - "I have to do things this way to protect myself from poverty and neglect and rejection - so I can't consider the ways that my behavior creates poverty and neglect and rejection for myself and others."

Scrooge is operating from a wounded inner child. Being forced to look at that child as he really existed in the past is one of the first steps the ghosts take to help Scrooge confront who he has become. Step 1 is to become acquainted with the past selves whose pain is running the show. But not simply to become acquainted with their pain - also to become acquainted with their joys and delights, as signposts for what's missing from his adult life. What he's cut himself off from in his desperate quest to protect himself.

Honestly, Dickens was perhaps a more prescient psychologist than Freud or Jung. He's painting a picture of inner family systems work, before Jung even coined the phrase "inner child." Dickens draws the picture for us of how Scrooge's early sufferings created his adult behaviors and sufferings.

One thing I think Dickens gets right that our general psychological establishment doesn't talk about (as far as I've seen), is that being acquainted with actual children in the present can help a person understand and confront their inner child. This is part of Tiny Tim's significance, and the significance of Want and Ignorance. Witnessing the ways children bear suffering and joy can help us understand the ways we experienced those things as children ourselves. That's why parenting (or becoming an uncle, or babysitting for a friend, etc) can sometimes push people into doing work on their inner family systems.

(Tangential thought - we talk about people not being ready to raise children because they're not adulty enough yet - hell, that's the reason i didn't have kids in my 20s - but ime, spending time caring for children is the best way to realize the ways that you've grown up and finish the task of raising yourself into full adulthood. Still helps to be prepared for that work before you find yourself responsible for the development of tiny humans, but we underestimate how much parenting and/or care work can catalyze growth.)

Maybe Dickens is a bit optimistic though. Do we think if the Ghosts took Musk or Bezos or any of our modern ultrarich and forced them to stop looking away from the suffering they've endured and the suffering they create, they would do anything differently? Would they learn and heal and do better? Or would they just get pissed off that they're being asked to look at reality?

And is it sufficient to convince today's billionnaires to share part of their wealth? Bill Gates is probably the closest thing to a real-world Ebeneezer Scrooge that we can point to (at least as far as figures in the limelight). And while the Gates foundation has done a great deal of good in the world, it has done so by alleviating the effects of poverty, not by reforming systems to reduce the creation of poverty in the first place.

It's notable that Scrooge doesn't just buy the Cratchits a turkey or offer to help with Tiny Tim's medical bills. He actually raises Bob's salary, so that the Cratchits can have a better life overall and for a sustainable future. When was the last time we saw a CEO raise salaries across the board solely to create better futures for their employees? Let alone work toward a world where people are not dependent on their employer's good will to have food on the table.

imagine simping for capitalism this badly

[heavenforblog1111]

Alright guys, this is one issue that hits a lot of nerve for some reason. Now, before I dive deeper into the issue I want to make myself clear that I am not against women empowerment or women education. In fact, I do promote it. I believe it is essential for a woman to be educated, to be able to fend for herself and to be financially abundant. Each person must have his or her goals and go after them. Women or anyone for that matter must be free to take any decisions they want, however it should be noted that their decisions must not have an overall negative impact. There is a specific aspect which I believe a lot of people did not look into while promoting feminism. I think enough has already been done to uplift women. We have promoted women education, increased women's reservations in politics, created policies in favor of women along with many other things. The truth is that feminism has gone overboard whether you like it or not. It has attacked society in an enormously detrimental way. Feminism literally attacked motherhood and homemakers making it seem that women who took care of their family were being suppressed. The view has become such that homemakers are in a way looked down upon even though it is the natural job of a woman. According to feminists, it is okay to serve your boss but you are devalued if you serve your own family. The movement has in fact taken an ugly turn where in women are somewhat given unfair advantages. If any law or policy has ever been biased, it has always been in the favor of women. Yet feminists think that women are suppressed because they are not paid equally and men are the ones who are paid more. Women brainwashed by this movement have forgotten that men are the ones working the most dangerous jobs. Most people working in construction sites are men. Most people fixing the sewers are men. Most people having dangerous jobs are men. Men in sports are the ones that are bringing in the revenue. Most people adding value in corporations are men. Women want equal rights as and when it suits them but when it comes to equal responsibilities we see a huge chunk of them backing off. Women are thinking that men are the ones who have all the pleasures and privileges but they don't realize that men are the ones who are suffering the most as well. Women have been trying to emulate the characteristics of men. They see having careers and ambitions as women empowerment and most of them focus too much into it that they neglect their own relationships. Women like that end up unhappily single in their late 40s without children and regretting the decisions they took when they were young. So many women have gone on record blaming feminism for the choices they made when they were young. The generation and the system has made women feel entitled during their young days and they are all about feminism when it suits them right but reality check hits these people hard eventually. Anyway, there are several points which can be made on this topic. But, the important thing is to strike a balance. Women should be educated and encouraged to get jobs. However, motherhood and homemakers should be encouraged as well. The system needs to take into account the problems of the entire generation and sexes rather than simply favoring one over the other. That was all I had to say for now. Let me know your opinion in the comments below.

[maybe-homestuck-now-or-something]

okay so based on my audience here, probably nobody knows anything about Golden Kamuy, so this might be a post for no one, but Ogata really is the Vriska of that series.

(spoilers for both Golden Kamuy and Homestuck, if any fan of one actually cares about the other without already having consumed it)

(spoilers for both Golden Kamuy and Homestuck, if any fan of one actually cares about the other without already having consumed it)

- both characters were made to fend for themselves as young children, which was a traumatizing experience that left them ill equipped to form genuine connections with other people.

- both killed their own parental figure(s)

- both have killed a lot of people in general, and have formed a lot of their identity around being proud of that fact, and they're convinced that they definitely don't feel any guilt for anything they've done.

- on a deeper level, they are the types of characters who deny their own guilt, and thus their own emotional availability, to such a massive degree that they'd rather double down and keep committing atrocities as a way of proving that it doesn't affect them. outside observers may note that they are lying to themselves, and this emotional damage is stacking up on the back burner, to the point where their actions read less like proof of concept, and more like self destruction. when the dam holding these emotions back finally breaks, they'll have to square with everything they're deciding to do in the present, which makes their smug commitment to the bit read as more of a tragedy than anything else.

- both lose an eye at some point, at the hand of someone who is at their wits' end with them. both also use their indifference to this as a smug way to taunt the ones responsible.

- both have an unhealthy relationship with a person who they see as innocent. they both think that this innocent person has no right to maintain innocence when they themselves were never allowed to have that, and they try to corrupt that innocent person by way of mentorship. they think that the harsh conditions they share with that person necessitate corruption, no one can expect to get out unscathed, that innocent person isn't special, they shouldn't be able to exist untainted, and equality will be achieved when they are equally befouled by their circumstances. upon failing to corrupt the innocent character, they end up killing them. because someone like that isn't meant to survive in a world like this, if all is truly fair.

- they both function as someone who is the only one on their own team. other people don't trust them either because they are serial backstabbers. the only person they think they can trust is themselves.

- the closest they get to really bonding with another person is when they think they share someone's circumstances, particularly in relation to the way they grew up as kids. however, this never comes across as healthy, and doesn't really last, because not only is their perspective uniquely warped by the way they were abused from such a young age, but also... anytime someone in their same circumstances actually improves their outlook on life, or copes in healthier ways, they see it as a form of ideological betrayal. in a worst case scenario, they might even see it as being abandoned or neglected again, like the other person is leaving them behind or doesn't get it, and this could even be seen as a re-traumatizing event. it only drives them deeper into their isolated convictions.

- they tend to assume that everybody thinks just like them deep down. they act smug because they think everyone else is just masking, while they are being more "real" somehow.

- both illicit an audience response of "that bitch!" whenever they appear.

- Ogata even appears on the cover of volume 8... I hadn't even realized until I went to grab a pic of him off of google and that cover was one of the first images that popped up.

[n0nsensew0rds]

I was drunk and not in the mood for dealing with bullshit.

So much so you didn't even respond to my statement!

Zoey, dear, you should really lay off the alcohol. I'm seeing the replies you're making to others in this thread, you're all over the map. Maybe if you take some time to get sober you can put together a cogent thought instead of just screaming NUH UH!

Fetuses are not children. I don’t care if that’s how you see them, they’re not kids. Get over it.

Like so.

Counterpoint: How about YOU realize that unborn children are still children and get over it?

Wow, what a great argument, I sure showed you.

I could go into the fact that a fetus fulfills all the requirements of life, or when the heartbeat begins, or when the nervous system develops. I could remind you that babies start kicking in the womb as early as thirteen weeks, and that they can be seen responding to outside stimuli at sixteen weeks. That they recognize their mother's voice immediately upon birth, having only been exposed to it in the womb. That the unloving, inhuman fetus can be observed trying to evade the tools used in a late-term abortion. That I think these factors are all strong evidence that a developing fetus is a human organism and that they are such from the moment cellular division starts, because the fetus is also a contiguous organism programmed to become a human being from conception and there is no point in development where there is a question of whether it will continue to develop into a human or will somehow develop into a dog.

Why don't you think they 'count' as children?

Also: Even your children do not get the right to use your body against your will for any reason. You cannot be forced to give your kidney to your dying child. Same with pregnancy.

Who forced you to use your body against your will?

Did the baby hold you at gunpoint and force you to carry it? Did the baby attack you and crawl its way into your womb to finish development? Or did you make a decision to have sex -- an act whose entire purpose is procreation -- and thereby force the child into existence and force it to use your womb to develop?

A choice was made here and the baby wasn't the one who made it.

Further, while it's true you can't force somebody to donate their organs to save their child, you know what else you can't do? Poison your kid. Drown them. Beat them. Shake them until their brains spatter inside their skull. Neglect and malnourish them. Leave them in the woods to die of exposure. You cannot, through direct action or inaction, kill your child.

Isn't that forcing you to use your body on somebody else, too? Having to give up your time and energy and resources to feed and clothe a child? Why shouldn't a mother (or father, for that matter) decide it's too much effort and be allowed to murder an infant? What's the difference between a fetus who is one week from delivery and an infant who is one week old?

The fact that our culture is divided on whether or not it's ok to kill a baby is wild. You'd think we'd all be able to at least agree murdering a baby is bad but no.

[redphlox]

Dabi's fear of feelings and connections

Dabi is a walking contradiction; he says he doesn't care about anyone, but his flames, which are linked to his emotions, demonstrate otherwise when Twice is killed. Dabi brushes off the news that Natsuo could have died because of him but still refers to him affectionately as Natsu-kun. Touya went around calling Endeavor out for neglecting his children but still trained to regain his approval and attention anyway. He lashed out at baby Shouto, admitted Shouto had done nothing wrong, and then attacked him again years later. He cries blood while thinking about his family but doesn't go home to them or change his actions which hurt them even more. Dabi wants to destroy hero society for a better future but it's obvious he doesn't plan to live long enough to see that future.

The gaps between his actions and his words are a result of dissociation and repression. It's not that Dabi is emotionless. Actually, he feels too much and he's afraid of his feelings because they've done nothing but hurt him emotionally and physically. He literally almost burned to death the one time he had a burst of emotion on Sekoto Peak and in order to prevent a repeat of that, he operates under the flawed notion that safety lies in repressing his feelings and pushing people away. He lies to himself and others and therefore cannot reconcile with his true self and can’t trust others.

In this meta I'll discuss how Dabi deals with his unprocessed feelings of betrayal and neglect by denying himself connections with both his inner wounded child and those around him. I'll also address a few misconceptions surrounding Dabi because dismantling them is key to understanding him. Contrary to popular belief, he does not want to kill his father, he never wanted to be a hero for his own sake, and he doesn't hate Shouto or his family. At its core, Touya's hurt stems from discovering that his relationship with his father wasn't based on unconditional love. This realization destroyed his sense of self so much it caused him to start fearing his own feelings and being close to others because of the link between his emotions and his self-destructive quirk.

To understand Dabi we have to understand Touya. In 291 we see through Endeavor's flashback that Touya was eager to train under him and carry his legacy. It's implied by the fact they’re working on ultimate moves that not only is Touya a willing, eager participant but that the two have been training together for quite some time. In 301 we learn that after Touya's quirk started hurting him Endeavor not only abandoned the training regime but also abandoned Touya both emotionally and physically. Instead of using the time he spent training Touya to help Touya find a new hobby or purpose in life, or just hanging out with his kid, Endeavor chooses to remove himself from Touya’s life. When Touya confronts him about the change of routine, Endeavor is seen putting on his jacket and leaving the home, his body turned away from his son.

Maybe Endeavor had errands to run, but my point is that he was in Touya’s life one minute and then gone the next. Touya says so himself: why did Endeavor change his mind all of a sudden? The abrupt change in attitude was jarring for a 4-5 year old to handle. To Touya, training = love, so he felt compelled to keep training and demonstrate his worthiness despite the fact that his quirk was hurting him. To Touya, the pain was worth it if it meant hanging out with his dad again.

But why? Well, Touya was Endeavor's #1 fan, genuinely so. His admiration and fondness for his father was genuine, and he didn't question the triumphant look on Endeavor's face when Touya said he wanted to learn the ultimate move. Before his quirk started burning him, Touya had no idea he was born for his father's ulterior motives. He had no reason to question his father's attention. Touya lived under the impression his bond with his dad was genuine and special, and he probably felt lucky that his father was willing to share something so important to him (heroism). Even after the training stops and Endeavor stops paying attention to Touya, Touya still wears his merch and vies for his attention. Most kids see their parents as larger than life and Touya was no exception. Keigo Takami admired Endeavor the hero, and Touya Todoroki admired his father who just so happened to be the hero Endeavor. Since being a hero was such a big deal for Endeavor, it was a big deal for Touya.

But that's where Touya's story becomes tragic. His father is a flawed, flawed man with many insecurities and fallacies that he pushes onto his family. I’ll get to those in a moment, but as intelligent and observant Touya is to catch on that Endeavor never set out to marry to become a father, he is too young to separate himself from his father’s expectations. Touya realizes he was born for a purpose and Touya will be damned if he doesn't fulfill that purpose even if he knows it's wrong. His father's ‘love’ meant that much to him. For Touya, it's not about becoming a hero for the glory. It was about his relationship with his father because, as I mentioned earlier, Touya was his #1 fan in the sense that he loved Enji just for being his dad. There were no conditions tied to that. “You are my dad, and I love you.”

But that wasn’t a sentiment that Touya felt in return, and that hurt Touya. He internalized he wasn't good enough, that something about him was inherently wrong. But more than that, his world came tumbling down - he felt betrayed and lied to: his father didn't love him like Touya needed him to, and this truth destroyed him. Their relationship was a lie, a farce, and it hurt so much Touya became obsessed with not hurting anymore because he couldn’t get away from it.

Touya’s motivation to become a hero didn't rise from being inspired by All Might like Shouto. Touya’s thought process wasn’t "I want to be a hero to help others or be like All Might" like Deku. No, Touya only wanted to be a hero because he wanted his father to be proud of him for surpassing All Might. Notice that Touya's obsession with beating All Might slowly diminishes from “I can surpass All Might” to “I can surpass All Might like Shouto, too” to just “look at me, Endeavor.” It was never about being a hero per say, but about his relationship with his father. Touya realized that Endeavor isn't his father first, but a hero, and he understands that he has to be a hero too to fit into his father's world. Even upon realizing that his father was using him, Touya still wanted to be part of his life, still wanted that bond. Touya, in his desperation to be loved and accepted again, could look past his father's selfishness as long as he regained that approval. Touya could pretend the relationship was real as long as he stopped feeling so unlovable.

This is unhealthy thinking, of course. Even if Touya somehow managed to regain Endeavor's approval, the relationship would still be one-sided and dissatisfying because he wouldn't be able to ignore the truth. But, this is how he rationalized his insistence to keep training in his 4-5 year old mind and this line of thought stuck with him as he grew up just as those feelings of inadequacy never left him.

This is precisely why Natsuo's drowsy "can't you go talk to our sister?" hurt so much. Touya was already emotionally fragile, and hearing that felt like being rejected all over again when it was actually Natsuo just trying to sleep. Touya was hypersensitive to any words or actions that could be interpreted as dismissive. His trauma wouldn't listen to logic that Natsuo was 8 and too young to understand, that he was tired - no, Touya's brain said, you're being rejected again! This is also why he also stormed away crying from Fuyumi after she expressed her concern for him.

In Touya’s mind, why couldn't anyone just agree with him that he was good enough? He heard "your dad's right and you're not good enough so why try" not "I care about you, your father is wrong, and I don't want you to keep getting hurt" whenever Rei tried to get him to stop training because that's the message he got from his father, too. Nevermind that it infuriated Touya that his mother could stand there and preach to him when, from his perspective, she couldn’t take her own advice. All Endeavor ever did was teach him to turn up the heat, so why should it matter that doing just so hurts him? Touya didn't understand NOT training his quirk because he had been taught that raising his firepower was ideal in all situations. Those two statements didn't make sense to a 4-5 year old, a 13 year old, and it still doesn’t make sense as a 24 year old.

To take Endeavor's lack of self awareness a step further, because it's important to understand Endeavor to fully understand Dabi, Endeavor has yet to realize his own inherent worth. He doesn't have to prove anything to his family, especially his kids. They love him unconditionally, without special reason aside from the fact that he's theirs and he's himself. However, Endeavor is so obsessed with proving himself that he doesn't realize he never had to, and he projects this onto his children. They must prove themselves by winning the genetic lottery, by being useful to his plans, by surpassing All Might.

The irony that to be a great father he doesn't have to be a hero at all is ugly because Endeavor has no identity outside of being a hero. Endeavor has said before he wants to be a good hero and father to make Shouto proud, but he fails to realize he already had this in Touya all those years ago and it still left him unsatisfied. The issue isn’t his role as a hero, it’s his inner self. In 301 Endeavor literally reaches out to Touya to talk him out of training and hurting himself, and Touya allows his father to touch his shoulders because he wants a bond with his father - any bond. Shouto, on the other hand, wouldn't allow Endeavor to touch him in 167 and slaps his hand away because he doesn’t want Endeavor’s approval. Endeavor doesn't realize Natsuo carries deep abandonment and neglect issues because he wanted to be accepted by his father too (light novel #5) but was ignored. Endeavor doesn't realize he was always good enough by default and that by projecting onto his kids and trying to be the top hero he’s doing the opposite of what he wants. He just keeps pushing away his family.

It’s important to point out Endeavor’s illogical thinking because Touya learned some of these same ideas. Touya repeatedly tries to prove himself without realizing that he was always good enough by default. The problem wasn’t his quirk or his body, but his father’s flawed thinking and self-worth issues. Now as an adult, Dabi is selfish because he's Endeavor's son and emobidies his most negative characteristics. Dabi thinks of his flames as Endeavor's, and he thinks of himself as an extension of Endeavor because that's how Endeavor set him up for life. Touya has no identity to fall back on after his father casts him aside. He was supposed to be Endeavor 2.0, but now that title is Shouto’s. Dabi doesn’t hate Shouto as a person, but he has tricked himself into believing Shouto is their father’s puppet. Shouto is a doll being used by their father with no self agency, and Dabi is going to break all of Endeavor’s toys. It’s nothing personal against Shouto, it’s just Shouto’s bad luck that he happens to be Endeavor’s masterpiece. This is why Dabi doesn’t hurt Shouto when they first meet at the training camp, and why Dabi stops attacking Shouto after Endeavor passes out - it’s not about Shouto. It’s about Endeavor, and breaking Endeavor. Touya is still there trying to be part of his father’s world, only this time not as a hero but as a villain who will end his own suffering. He doesn't want Endeavor to die, he just wants him to suffer, to ruin his dreams. Dabi thinks of it as justice.

But because Touya is still there, there is still that goodness in him, too. His connection to Fuyumi and Natsuo is still there, repressed and compartmentalized. It’s why he calls them affectionately as Fuyumi-chan and Natsu-kun. Touya’s pain is so great he has decided he’d rather end it than to carry on and look elsewhere. He's stuck, rightfully so. He recognizes his mother is a flawed person and ultimately doesn’t blame her for being a victim - she could have done more for her son, but he still sees her and his other siblings, even Shouto, as people who fell victim to Endeavor’s abuse who don't challenge their situation. Dabi sees himself as someone who does stand up to the abuse but doesn’t realize he still wants his father’s attention. He's always wanted it. That's why he went around at 13 condemning his father's treatment of his children but still trained to prove himself. This is part of the reason he became a villain.

Not to mention that Dabi literally can't cry. He has no way to release those emotions, so instead of trying to let them out, he pushes them down. But that doesn't work and is detrimental in the long run. In 290-294 we saw Dabi's flames burn so hot during his confrontation with Endeavor and revealing himself as Touya that his burns have spread. Dabi is afraid of his feelings because of their connection to his flames, but he also uses his feelings to his advantage. He wants to go out in an inferno along with Shouto just to hurt Endeavor and put an end to his own suffering and Endeavor's career. This is why Dabi doesn't bother calming himself down or denying that he never forgot how he was treated when he lived at home. Dabi became emotional in that battlefield, smiling maniacally instead of crying because he physically can't cry. In his mind, if his feelings are going to destroy him, he might as well use them to prove a point. After all, he has experience being used. It's why he was born.

I'm not saying any of these actions or thoughts are healthy or correct or condoned, by the way. Trauma responses don't make logical sense and usually aren't healthy. Knowing how the mind responds to trauma, it's understandable that Touya still wanted his father's attention even if it was abusive. In fact, this is how children often respond to abuse. Their caretaker/parent is all they know and they cling to these figures. Often times when authorities try to remove a child from their abusive parents, the child doesn't want to go because this parent is all they know and they do feel like they love their parent/caretaker. I’m not saying the authorities got involved in this case, because obviously they didn’t, but this same mentality of abused children can be applied to Touya. Touya, in his four year old mind, probably convinced himself that if he was good enough everything would go back to how it used to be.

So, to sum up Dabi’s character, of course he doesn't make any sense. He’s still that hurt 4-5 year old who is trying to protect himself from ever getting hurt like that again while still wanting his father’s validation. Of course he doesn’t want to get close to anyone, not even the League. He doesn't want to be vulnerable or let people in or form connections because the last time that happened he was let down, forsaken, and it hurt so much it literally made him lose control of his quirk to the point he almost died. When Twice is killed, Dabi consoles himself by saying he didn't care anyway, all to prevent another emotional fire. Dabi is a master of compartmentalizing and boxing away his feelings - this is probably why, 310 chapters into BNHA, we have yet to have a few chapters in his POV or his backstory. He's disconnected from himself. He knows his plot to get justice will hurt his siblings and mother and to live with himself and move forward he represses those feelings.

Because of his father not showing up on Sekoto peak, Dabi has to live with physical disabilities due to his scars and memories of burning alive. He doesn't want to go through that again so he lies to himself that he doesn't care about anyone or anything. He denies that he's still in pain while simultaneously seeking validation of his pain. He acts like he doesn't care about his family but still calls them affectionate names. He acts like he hates Endeavor and calls him by his name but still wants his attention. He decided long ago that he would die destroying Endeavor's career because that was the thing Endeavor cares about most of all in this life. It's a "you hurt me so I'll hurt you" mentality. He has tricked himself into thinking this is justice, failing to realize this won't make him feel better if he doesn't die by his own hand along the way.

Dabi is full of resentment and spite, both of which take root from feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and the loss of a purpose and the realization that he wasn't born to be loved for who he was but as a tool for his father. The first betrayal he suffered was in the form of realizing his father didn't love him genuinely, and this was identity-breaking for him. He never recovered from it. The second betrayal, the reinforcer, was his father not showing up to Sekoto Peak. Since then, Dabi is reliving his trauma over and over again the more he uses his quirk and the more he faces Endeavor. To be saved, Dabi needs to accept that he is loved unconditionally and needs to be validated that he was right to feel thrown aside and used.