#while making the Kyle one i decided i need a Jon one as well because it's a story of my life

[lucy-sky]

The Three Stages of Fangirling: Jon Bernthal

[insp.]

[thealtoduck]

Your Lois Lane’s son and you become a Star Sapphire because you have crush on Kyle Rayner…

Kyle Rayner x Male Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: You have a crush on your bff Kyle, so the Star Sapphires decide to weaponize it to help get rid off their enemies.

(A/N 1: I’m gonna slightly base this of Superman the animated series, because then Kyle works at the daily planet and that makes everything easier for me.)

(A/N 2: Star Sapphire/Carol Ferris is also one of my underrated faves.)

——

You opened your eyes that morning expecting to follow your usual daily routine, eat breakfast, go to work, work, eat lunch, get back to work, go home, have dinner with the family and go to bed.

But little did you know that all that would be thrown out the window after the first step.

You went into the kitchen where your mother was cooking breakfast and she handed you a plate off eggs, toast and bacon. You thanked her and walked towards the table where your step-father Clark and your little brother Jon were sitting and eating.

You ruffled Jon’s hair as you walked past him and sat down next to him. You saw that he was eating his food as if he were wild animal. ”Jon, calm down you��re not a savage” you commented and Jon calmed his eating a little bit.

After you finished your breakfast you went into your room to get dressed for work. While you were there your mother, Clark and Jon left, since they needed to drive Jon to school before they went to work.

When you left your room you saw that your mom and Clark had forgotten their bagged lunch so you picked them up and decided to stop at the daily planet on your way to work.

You left the apartment building and got in to your car and started your drive towards the daily planet.

You stopped outside the tall building, got out of your car and walked inside. You found an elevator and stepped inside and you pushed the button that would take you to your mother’s floor.

But you heard someone yelling ”Hold the elevator”, so you pushed the button to open the door again and then Kyle Rayner aka your bff aka the man you were head over heels in love with, came running so fast that he hit the elevator wall.

”What did i tell you about running in to walls, Kyle?” You asked cheekily.

”Don’t do it” he answered while holding his forehead.

”But did you listen to me? No” you said.

”Whatever… By the way are you going to Jane’s party with anyone?” He asked.

”No, not really, are you?” You asked in return.

”Yeah, i’m going with you” Kyle joked making you roll your eyes. ”Who knows the night might end in some pAssIOnaTE making out?” Kyle continued.

He didn’t know but his joke made you die a little inside, since you wanted it to actually be like that, but you knew that Kyle wasn’t in to you romantically.

The elevator door then opened at your mother’s floor and you exited the elevator and said a quick goodby to Kyle as the doors once again closed.

You found your mother’s desk and gave her her’s and Clark’s lunch, she thanked you and you left once again.

While you were riding the elevator down but your mind couldn’t help but wander to thinking about Kyle, he was so kind and creative, he makes you feel safe and happy.

All of a sudden the elevator came to a halt and the lights shut down.

”Great, now i’m stuck in an elevator AND hopelessly in love with my best friend, just my luck” you thought to yourself, you were about to pick up your phone and call your boss to tell her you would probably be late.

But all of a sudden there was a glowing light in front of you, you covered your eyes from the sudden strong glow.

Then you looked at the source and saw a glowing violet six pointed star. All of a sudden a voice spoke up from no where.

”We know what you want Y/n Lane, you want the one you love and we the Star Sapphires can give you the power to take that love” a hypnotic voice said, from what Clark had taught you, you know you shouldn’t trust things like this.

Then all of a sudden a ring floated out from inside the six pointed star. ”All you have to do is do something for us, destroy the Green Lantern” the hypnotic voice said adding a bit more psychopath vibes.

You tried to back away from the ring but it was like you weren’t in control of your own body cause all off a sudden you arm started reaching out towards it.

The ring then floated on to your finger and the voice said ”Now repeat after me”. It started by saying one sentence and as if the words were being dragged out of your throat you said along with it ”For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight, love conquers all with violet light!”

Then all of a sudden you had no control at all and a violet light spread over your body.

Kyle was sitting and having a cup of coffee, he couldn’t get you out of his head, he hadn’t really been joking when he said he was taking you as his date for the party. He actually really wanted to ask you out but if you said no he didn’t want it to be weird between you, so he asked it in more of a joking manner to make it more lighthearted.

He was about to go and get back to work but then he heard chattering from the others, they were staring at something down on the street.

He went over to the window and saw a violet lantern down on the street which could only mean trouble, Kyle ran to find somewhere to change in to the Green Lantern.

Meanwhile you were down on the street causing mayhem. The ring had basically taken full control of your body and was now throwing one of the parked cars towards the people on the sidewalk who were trying to run away from you.

The people managed to get away but you were fine with that, you were trying to bait out the Green Lantern.

Then you heard a familiar whoosing sound and you turned around. Clark was flying towards you all suited up. He was inches away from punching you in the face but when he saw you he had a moment of realization and stopped himself.

”Y/n?” he asked confused and before he could do anything else you used the ring to trap him inside a giant violet crystal. You then continued your rampage.

Kyle now stood on top of the daily planet and watched the star sapphire blast a violet beam towards a car. He then flew down to get a closer look off his opponent.

Kyle then realised who the Star Sapphire was, ”Y/n” he asked himself, he was shocked at seeing you like this, not only because you were a destructive crazy person but also because the suit you were wearing made you look really fucking hot.

You picked up a car with people inside it and threw it out over the street but before it touched the ground it was caught by a green light.

Green Lantern had caught the car and put it down. As soon as you saw the man clad in green the ring told you to do one thing ”Kill him”.

You aimed your ring towards him and shot a violet beam towards him. He created a green bubble around himself that protected him.

Your battle continued to rage on, but it was noticable that Kyle was holding back slightly trying to avoid harming you. He was trying to think of a plan, he was also generally confused about the fact that you had turned into Star Sapphire.

After all the emotion of the violet lanterns were love, so maybe he had something to do with this. Well there was only one way to find out and it was the only plan he had.

He flew towards you dodging your different attacks and when he got to you he grabbed you around the waist and pushed his lips against yours.

He was glad that you didn’t pull back because that meant his plan worked. His hand slid down to your ringed finger and pulled the ring off.

Your suit the disappeared and it was replaced with your normal clothing. You then passed out.

Kyle kept a hold of you and brought you down to a rooftop. He then used his ring to free Superman from the violet crystal.

He walked back to you as you were starting to wake up. You looked at the Green Lantern and realised you were outside and on a rooftop.

”Green Lantern?” you asked ”Where am i? What happened?” you continued and Kyle made an impulsive decision. He made his super-suit disappeared and revealed his identity to you. After your initial shock about his identity he told you about what had happened and ensured you everyone were fine. Kyle then made another impulsive decision…

”Y/n, would you like to go on a date with me?”

”Of course” you answered happily.

Instead of your date being at the party you were suppose to go to you and Kyle decided to have a relaxing night at your place.

Clark had taken Lois and Jon out to some resturant so that you and Kyle could get some privacy.

You and Kyle were cuddling on the couch while watching the news about Green Lantern stopping a villain by kissing him.

[bigskydreaming]

You're asked to choose one and only one or DC's future stops existing immediately. your choices:

1. Jason Todd the anti-hero who seldom works with only a couple of the bats he doesn't hate, for example Dick and Cass VS. Jason Todd who came back with healed body but broken spirit, folded back into the Gotham gang and learns to be part of the society again.

2. Tim Drake who makes all of his mistakes as canon but realizes he's been wrong and apologizes to people VS. Tim Drake back in his first iteration, a cute little brother character who is a reader insert and a fun teenager.

3. JayKyle VS DickKyle.

4. Jason Todd with a sword VS. Damian Wayne with a sword.

5. Chris Kent VS. Jon kent.

Okay but which DC future? Its omniversal future? Its hypertime future? Its multiversal future? Its Elseworlds future? Its dark multiverse future? Mwahahaha your threat is useless because the sheer wtf of DC's continuities, timelines and conflicting declarations of what to even call their multiomnihyperverse makes it impossible to target simply A future! DC's overly unnecessarily complicated nature renders it functionally immortal and impossible to ever truly destroy, take that Darkseid.

I mean. But anyway. Whatevs:

1) I honestly do prefer the idea of Jason someday fully reuniting/reintigrating into the Batfam as a whole, because fuck it, the found family I'm here for is the one where they actually act like a family....I just think it takes actual work to get to that point and I get irey when people are like we're here! We found it! And its like meanwhile, abusive dynamics still abound. Mmm. No thank you. But even though I've been on a huge Jason and Dick and Cass kick for like, forever, I do still aim for him having a dynamic of his own with the rest of the family.

Like the thing is, I hate playing the favorites card in families, and I think the emphasis on so and so being Bruce's favorite child or so and so being this kid's favorite sibling, etc, like it really does feel like to the detriment of the whole family, because once you start validating the idea of favorites, ESPECIALLY in a found family that is CONTINUOUSLY growing....I think you're kinda shooting yourself in the foot because you're kinda creating a situation where either no future new additions to the family can EVER be Bruce or one of the kids' 'favorite' or else you're innately positing that said fave status is conditional and even a current fave of Bruce or a sibling can be bumped down the ladder by the addition of a later arrival....

Which is LITERALLY the entire essence of the eternal conflict between Dick and Damian and Tim fans. Its not even that Damian is Dick's favorite, allegedly, its that prior to Damian's very EXISTENCE, fans felt comfortable declaring Tim unilaterally to be Dick's 'favorite'.....and then all it took was the addition of a single family member who had specific NEEDS in regards to Dick's attention and focus, largely because of his age and needing a legal guardian while Tim was old enough to literally jet set around the world on his own.....and like, everything went up in flames in large corners of fandom.

So I'm just like, death to the fave family member myth, its just incredibly counter productive to the idea of found family as a whole especially when it usually only exists to prop up a preferred character as better than others via the proof of see, these other characters say he's their fave or whatever...but also like, its not even necessary?

Because the thing is, you can have Jason reintegrated into the whole family overall, and still prioritize your personal narrative FOCUS on characters you like more than others, like say Dick and Cass.....because of course its natural for even people in the same family to have entirely different DYNAMICS with different family members....and these dynamics don't have to come with a ranking system in order to prioritize which ones you just focus on more in a story. Because its not necessarily that Dick has to be Jason's fave brother, y'know, just for Jason to prefer spending time with Dick simply because he's more comfortable with him due to knowing him longer or being more secure in the idea that Dick doesn't judge him based on their greater shared history.

This doesn't mean that Jason doesn't care for his other siblings, that he can't have strong dynamics with them as well, its just about finding a reason for why these two specifically might be in a story without the others that doesn't demand putting a definitive ranking on which one Jason considers his FAVE. Just like Damian doesn't have to be Dick's FAVE just for them to have the super close canon relationship they have, even relative to the other siblings, because there's everything needed in canon already to establish that the mere fact of Dick essentially RAISING Damian for a year, and being the first one in the family to really take a chance on Damian, like, this lends itself naturally to them maybe more naturally gravitating towards each other than other siblings due to comfort level and familiarity, etc, but it doesn't have to be like....oh but yeah, I just like Damian more than you, Tim, y'know?

So my answer on this one is a total cop out of both, both is good. Jason totally reintegrated back into the family, but with dynamics that still lend themselves fairly easily towards story lineups where its just him running missions with Dick or Duke or any other one or two specific family members even if for no other reason than they gel together best in the field, y'know?

2) Hmm. I honestly really do love and miss 90s Tim Drake and just....don't see him in a lot of what I read these days. I'm like no, why did he have to go, he was doing so well! BUT I'm also on a big accountability kick, and like, I'm so steeped in fics where Dick GROVELS for forgiveness for every little slight he's ever done real or imagined, with every character but Tim in particular, so its like.....I'm not gonna lie, I really have a preference these days for seeing stuff where its literally anyone actually owning up to shit they've done to Dick and apologizing or groveling or making it to HIM, like, completely unconditionally. In the same manner we usually see Dick apologizing, glossing over any reasons he might have had for doing what he did or feeling the way he did, and saying oh it doesn't matter, putting the entirety of his focus on what HE did and why it was wrong no matter what and he's sorry.....that's what I would kill to see from more fics, just in reverse.

Because so often even in the all too rare fics where we DO see other characters apologizing to Dick for shit, its watered down with Dick volunteering that oh he messed up too, it was a two way street, and its like no! This is Pettiness Hours! I want the unconditional apologies! Give me the groveling! From anyone, I don't care at this point, lol, just show me characters actually PUTTING IN THE WORK to make it up to Dick for harm they've caused him, even if completely unintentionally or via neglecting his feelings or considering the repercussions their actions or words would have on him. Aaaaaaand, frankly, Tim's a good place to start there, because of how one sided all the takes on their conflicts have been for so many years. I mean, if people need a place to start, Batman and Robin Eternal gets enough praise it can't be pretended that people in fandom don't know that story exists, so how about some stories where Tim says he's fucking sorry for punching Dick in issue #4 or #5 of that one, and it was uncalled for and he was clearly just looking for an excuse to unleash some more of his resentment and upset for the Spyral/Forever Evil stuff, and family deciding that its totally okay to punch Dick whenever they're mad at him and need to work off some aggression so they can then finally forgive him (for now) is a trend that needs to die in a fire post-haste? I mean just as an example.

But the thing that kills me about fanfic trends is like....the sameness of so much of it. There's SO much room for variety and diverse takes, and like....I don't actually hate Tim! I'm just cranky because of the imbalanced nature of most content out there for literal years at this point. Push the pendulum BACK in the other direction, create some balance by showing the flip side of things.....and that leaves a lot more room for me and others of like minds to then be more amenable to - and even interested in - other stories that don't scratch this particular itch, but don't need to, because other stories are doing the scratching by then, y'know?

And THEN like, at that point, I would be ALL FOR more stories that are just callbacks to classic 90s Tim who I adore, with his skateboarding and his EARNESTNESS and his go-get-em spirit and also the gumption. All the gumption. I like that Tim. I do miss that Tim. But like, for the moment, like, I want accountable Tim because I am tiiiiiiiired of groveling Dick and tbh at this point its not enough for me to just see people move past putting Dick in that position and just have mutually respective and doting brothers Dick and Tim having adventures together......nah, first I want some reciprocation. Ngl. Gimme the apologies for actual mistakes actually made.

3) DickKyle. Easy question, c'mon, you gotta know that. LOL. ;)

But yeah, I've been shipping these two off their like, two shared pages from way back in the Obsidian Age story years before Jason even returned, let alone was in Countdown together with Kyle, so like, its no contest. I don't mind JayKyle, I certainly prefer it to JayRoy tbh, but there's not a ton of appeal in it for me, particularly in how its usually depicted, because like....the entire basis of JayKyle is that they DO have stories together and spent a whole year worth of weekly issues traveling the multiverse together in Countdown.....but there's like, practically no trace of their actual dynamics from that series or any specifics of literally any issue from that entire comic in most fics I’ve read, so its like.....idk, it tends to come across as more generic, not in the sense that it cant still be interesting, but more in the sense that it feels like just someone paired with Jason just because history between them EXISTS without any interest in exploring what that history actually IS....and at that point, its like, well there's no reason TO prioritize that ship over DickKyle for me personally, when like, I have a shit ton of headcanon reasons for why those two in a pairing specifically. *Shrugs* My logic. Its not for everyone, but it works for me.

4) Jason with a sword or Damian with a sword? I don't understand the question. Both. Both is good. All the characters should have swords. Swords are awesome.

5) Chris Kent vs Jon Kent - oof. I adore Jon, I really do. I love his dynamic with Damian, I love a lot of their specific stories, the parallels between them as friends and Bruce and Clark as friends....its all very bien. But I gotta give this one to Chris, because I'm always gonna have a soft spot for him because I'm a sucker for all abused kid heroes, and I just miss that funky little dude so much. There's so many stories we didn't get with him and were just ripe for the picking, but nooooo, DC's like lol you can't have nice things, here we just rebooted the entire multiverse and now Clark and Lois never adopted the son of Clark's worst Kryptonian rival and raised him with tender love and care awww does that make you sad, were you invested in him, WELL TOO BAD, HE'S GONE NOW AND BASICALLY NEVER EXISTED, NOW GIVE US YOUR MONEY ANYWAY MWAHAHAHAHAH.

Yeah. I'm still not over that. Probably will never be tbh, so I with great grudge-bearing do affirm that I'm gonna go with Chris on this one and like, he is a Priority for me and I'm still very keen on the idea of him and Duke being besties for random reasons that might not make sense to anyone but me, but eh, whatever.

[scribble-blog]

Soulmate AU, part 1

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Huge thanks to the Maribat Fandom tumblr chat, without whom I wouldn’t have made this blog or posted this piece (or probably written this at all given that it’s a maribat fanfic)! @the-fusionist and @rebecarojas07 specifically for encouraging me!

*****

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Damian is a week shy of fourteen the day the names appear inked on people’s skin, when he wakes up to ink that doesn’t wash off and the news reports that all around the world people have woken up to find the same phenomenon.

The world accepts it readily enough.

Soulmates.

There are tales of it happening before, every mythology and history and folklore delved into and the proof brought forward, but no one actually can say what triggered it, or why now.

In Paris, Marinette wakes up the day after she becomes Ladybug, a dark inked name of her own blooming vivid across her skin.

“It’s because you’re a true holder, Marinette,” Tikki says almost bouncing in midair. “People can use the Miraculous without being as in tune with them, but when we land in the hands of someone who is not just attuned, but truly meant for us- interesting things happen! Especially with the Ladybug Miraculous! These markings reveal who your Soulmate is!”

Her eyes still skim over the writing, and she has to hold in her almost immediate disappointment when she doesn’t see the two swirling A’s she wanted.

“Damian Wayne.”

*****

Marinette doesn’t let it get to her most days, the fact that the name across the front of her shoulder and the name of the boy she feels she’s lost her heart to aren’t the same.

Adrien, for his part, says nothing about what name he has, and it isn’t visible for anyone to find out.

Marinette keeps her designs modest in the neckline, always layers with her favorite jacket and does not say hers either.

The world divides into those who show them proudly, who build forums and websites and apps where people try desperately to connect with their soulmate, and those who decide that to seek it out would ruin the- destiny of it all.

Marinette doesn’t even google him.

She doesn’t want to think about destiny any more than she has to.

*****

Damian keeps it hidden from his family. Grayson has Kori’s name running down his neck, and though they don’t show them off, he’s aware that Todd and Drake have their own as well. Father’s got “Selina Kyle” trailing from his wrist down to the side of his left thumb.

Grayson asks him, once. He shuts it down immediately, and he doesn’t get asked again.

*****

Lila claims her soulmate is someone rich, reclusive, and far away. She doesn’t give details about who they are, but she can tell you millions of stories about how they met as children, grew up knowing each other, how he’d begged for her to stay by his side but she had sighed and told him she must be free to live her own life! And how he waited for her even now to return once she’d graduated and they could marry and be fabulously wealthy and beautiful and happy together.

The class fawns over it. Each time the elusive soulmate is mentioned, Marinette locks eyes with Adrien and Chloé, unable to voice her annoyance but perfectly able to share it with them.

Alya sneers under her breath sometimes, when Lila is being particularly mouthy with her lies, that Marinette has always refused to show or even talk about her mark. That perhaps she doesn’t have one at all.

Marinette doesn’t ever respond.

Adrien tried his hardest to shut them down when they start moving in towards her or Chloé like sharks. She’d lost her crush on him when he’d told her to let Lila lie, that she wasn’t hurting anyone. And then Chloé had knocked on her door one day and- apologized.

Marinette had accepted.

And then when Chloé found out that Adrien not only knew but had actually allowed Lila to continue spinning her lies, she’d taken the boy to task and explained very clearly that Lila could not be treated the same way as his Father, where staying quiet and giving in was the only way to weather his unsavory bad moods. And while his Father demanded he still associate with Lila and keep her placated, that shouldn’t stop him from standing up and doing something when she started actively going after people the way she’d gone for Marinette.

He’d very quickly apologized to Marinette and started, if not scolding Lila when she targeted Marinette, at least trying to guide her and the rest of the class away from any interactions they might have initiated because of Lila’s words.

And now, even if the hours spent at Francois DuPont were chilly and quietly isolated for the three of them, they could meet up at the bakery for lunch, and more often than not now, they would spend evenings hanging out in either Chloé’s room or Marinette’s and it almost made up for it.

*****

Damian has been dead before.

He watches a girl in his class start screaming as the name splayed across her palm withers, it almost looks like it dissolved into her veins, the ink shrinking and bleeding into normal, unmarked skin.

He goes home and he looks at the long curling script that circles the right side of his chest, sweeping across his ribs. Marinette Dupain-Cheng exists somewhere and he wonders if dying once is enough that his name never showed up on her.

He searches the last names. He finds a small but well known and very well loved bakery in Paris, France, with mentions of the owners, Tom and Sabine, and one daughter.

He closes it out.

*****

Marinette turns 16.

It’s not momentous, as she once thought it would be. It’s another day facing the cold sneers of her classmates, catching Adrien and Chloé’s eyes and waiting until the end of the day when she can go home where her parents will have a cake waiting for her, Chloé, Adrien, Kagami, and Luka over, visits from Nadja and Manon, and hopefully some calls from her great uncle Wang and her pseudo uncle Jagged with Penny. Birthdays in this class used to be extravagant, and they still are- for everyone who Lila allowed it.

But Marinette’s birthday will be a quiet affair, at home with her family and her truest friends, her team, and she can’t help but prefer that.

*****

Damian turns 17. Dick marries Kori. Father and Catwoman continue their game of cat and mouse (who is what in this scenario?) and Todd keeps leaving and coming back, and Drake says nothing but acts as if he still knows everything. Damian is, in almost all ways, more capable than most of the old men that do business with Wayne Enterprises and he still has to sit through school and act like birthday parties matter or mean anything to him.

(They do. They do. He can count on one hand how many birthdays he’s ever actually celebrated.)

He’d like to know why he feels so unsatisfied.

*****

Ms. Bustier calls her aside when they break for lunch.

“Marinette,” she begins, and Marinette sighs internally, bracing for another round of upbeat admonishments.

“As class representative, I need you to start staying after class with me for the next few weeks at least- perhaps we can start tomorrow. The submission you made to the Wayne Enterprises Community Awareness and Support Program won, and we have to start planning for the trip in July.”

Marinette stops short. “Wait, trip?”

Mme. Bustier straightens her papers and selects one, handing it to Marinette. On it is a very formal letter from representatives of Wayne Enterprises, congratulating her and her class on their community outreach and outlining the award money they have been offered to plan their trip to visit Wayne Enterprises in person.

Marinette struggles not to sit there with her jaw dropped to the floor. “I didn’t realize there was any actual- reward. I thought it was just an award or recognition?”

Mme. Bustier gives her the smile she used to give her on a daily basis, back when Marinette had cared about making her teacher that happy with every success their class had. “Well, then it’s just as happy a surprise for you as for the rest of the class! I’ll send a note home with you tonight explaining why you’ll be staying after school for the foreseeable future. I won’t ever keep you longer than an hour.”

Marinette knew that would not be true, but it wasn’t as if she couldn’t make up an excuse to leave when necessary. “Yes. We’ll want the trip to be planned perfectly, especially if we’re going to Gotham. Thank you, Mme. Bustier!”

She skips out to lunch, runs across the street to the bakery to meet her friends and tells them the news.

*****

Damian thinks about her often, even if he doesn’t want to. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the baker’s daughter somewhere in Paris, presumably, who may or may not have his name somewhere scrawled on her body.

He doesn’t search anything about her again. Even that single search that led him to her parents’ patisserie was risky.

Jon can tell him everything he wants to about the happiness between himself and his soulmate. His siblings can tiptoe around the subject, happy themselves and never bringing it up to him again. He watches people at school, wondering which of the couples are bound by the words inked into their skin and which are the ones who decided to forego fate. It takes him a very long time to figure out that despite himself, despite his brothers and his allies and his few friends, he is lonely.

*****

Seven weeks before the trip to Gotham, Marinette’s mother finds the Miracle Box.

Marinette hasn’t had Master Fu to guide her in a very long time. She is, in name and deed, the true Guardian of the Miraculous now.

Marinette breaks down on her mother’s shoulder for the first time in four years, since Hawkmoth started terrorizing Paris. Sabine, terrified and proud and angry, soothes her daughter, holds her and runs her hand over her hair, and asks her daughter what she can do.

Marinette has an idea.

[dibs4ever]

Excerpt from one of the first fics I ever wrote. Basically 17 year old Batgirl and Robin-Dick and Barbara. Are sent back in time to the late 80s by a time controlling villain where they are stuck. While there they meet a young Bruce Wayne. He’s just invited them for a night out at the Haley’s circus where he’s acquired guest of honor tickets

A little more info: Dick and Babs are 17 & just friends with hidden feelings for each other

Bruce and Selena are 15

Bruce left the living room to go get ready for the night out leaving Barbara and Dick alone “Are you going to be okay tonight?” She asked

Dick gave her a small smile “Yeah, I think I’ll be okay”

Barbara rested a hand on Dick’s arm “I can come up with an excuse for us to stay if you’d like, I’ll make it my fault” she assured him

Dick shook his head “I’ll be okay, besides it’s not like they’ll be how I remember them, my dad, uncle and Aunt are the Flying Grayson’s act right now and my mom is part of the contortionist act” he explained

Barbara looked up at him “You never told me your mom was a contortionist”

Dick smiled and looked up in thought “Yeah, from what I remember my parents telling me she was part of that act until she married my dad then she became a Flying Grayson, I don’t know much about them from when they were younger since I was so young when they died” he looked down again

Barbra gave a sad smile “Let’s change the subject …How about that Miss. Kyle Alfred was talking about inviting, you don’t think it’s Selina Kyle do you?” She asked

Dick picked his head up and shot her a grin “I was thinking the same thing, that would be funny wouldn’t it, or maybe a little creepy considering how weird their relationship is in our time”

Barbara opened her mouth to speak but quickly stopped

Bruce entered the room having changed into a grey button up dress shirt and black dress pants “Alfred is almost done with dinner if you want to go to the dining room” Bruce pointed toward in the direction of said room

After dinner they all climbed into the car, Dick and Barbara sat in the 3rd-row seats while Bruce sat in the second row, Alfred drove “We’re stopping to pick up a friend of mine before we get there” Bruce informed them as they pulled into an alleyway and up to an abandoned building.

“Shall I honk the horn or will you be going in to get her Master B” Alfred asked bringing the car to a stop

“I’ll go get her,” Bruce said exiting the vehicle,

“So Alfred has Bruce been friends with this girl for long?” Dick said trying to draw information from Alfred

Alfred looked at Dick from the rearview mirror “Well Mister Donnie, they’ve known each other for around a year I’m not exactly sure what she and Master Bruce’s relationship is, but I just go with it because other than her the only other people he associates with are adults” he explained

Dick nodded and sat back in his seat suddenly Barbara jumped and began patting his arm repeatedly “It is her” she whispered.Dick leaned over Barbra to look out the window and see Bruce walking a few steps behind a young girl who resembled Selina Kyle a lot. Bruce attempted to open the door for her but she swatted his hand out of the way and opened it herself. When she opened the door she looked slightly surprised to see them in there as they climbed into the car 

Selina darted her head to Bruce “This isn’t a double date Bruce is it?!” How many times do I have to tell you we are not dating" she grumbled

Bruce shook his head “You only told me that one time and no it isn’t, they are travelers, their car was stolen and they had no place to go so Alfred and I invited them to stay at the manor until they’re able to return home” Bruce defended

“He’s telling the truth we’re just friends too,” Barbara said thumbing a finger at her and Dick

Selina shifted her eyes between the two of them “Becky Gain” Barbara told her extending a hand

Selina looked at her hand but didn’t shake it “Selina Kyle” she told her then looked over at Dick “And who are you”

Dick had been in a daydream stance since Selina Kyle aka the future Catwoman was sitting in front of him as a 15 year old girl. He blinked his eyes and refocused his attention “I’m Donnie Gowns” he told her he extended his hand as well, but Selina didn’t shake his hand either.

After arriving at the Circus Alfred informed them that he would be back when it was over to pick them up since they were about 2 hours early they were able to walk around for a bit. They walked in pairs Bruce with Selina then Dick and Barbara a few feet behind them

 "This is so weird, I know Bruce knew Selina before I was around but I didn’t realize he knew her before he was Batman" Dick whispered gesturing to the pair in front of them

“Shhh don’t say that name so loud, you don’t want to risk them asking who Batman is, who knows what that could mess up” Barbara hushed him

Selina turned to look at them, Dick gulped hoping she hadn’t heard their conversation “Do you two mind if we split up?” She asked with a hand on her hip

Bruce held a hand up “Selina I told you we can’t just leave them they don’t know their way around Gotham”

Selina ignored his statement and continued to talk to Dick and Barbara “I’m sure Donnie and Becky can care for themselves Bruce” she rolled her eyes

Dick nodded his head “We don’t mind Bruce, we can meet back in our seats when the show starts” Dick assured seeing an opportunity to talk openly with Barbara

Bruce looked at Barbara “Are you sure it’s okay?” He asked

She nodded “Of course we’ll be fine” Barbara assured him

Selina turned back to Bruce “See I told you they wouldn’t care, you worry way too much about other people now come on rich boy” she walked ahead of him Bruce gave them an awkward wave and followed after her.

“So this is what the behind the scenes of a circus looks like?” Barbara said as they walked

Dick smiled “Yup it pretty much looks like it did when I grew up here” he looked around at all the trailers

“Back to the situation at stake, how exactly are we going to get back to the future?” She asked

Dick thought “ Well that all depends if …” he was cut off when Barbara was pushed into him by someone falling into her rather roughly. Luckily Dick caught her before she hit the ground

Once she was back on her feet Barbara looked over to see the culprit of her tumble-a guy probably about 19 in an all-black leotard with small triangles all over it in rainbow colors, he had jet black hair and big hazel eyes, his face had a chiseled look to it and a cleft chin, she immediately took note of how undeniably handsome he was.

The guy pushed himself up and stood to face Barbara “Sorry about that, I was practicing my new routine that’s premiering tonight, the grounds a little uneven and it threw off my balance” the guy said shooting her a familiar smirk that Barbara recognized immediately “Of course you don’t care about that” he let out a slight chuckle “Does a beautiful girl like yourself have a name?” the guy asked sending her a wink and sticking out his hand

‘Wow now I see who Dick gets it from’ Barbara thought as she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks “Ummm Bar- I mean Becky Gain” she smiled and took his hand

Instead of shaking her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it gently “I’m Jon, Jon Grayson, it’s nice to meet you, I need to get back to warm ups, I hope you enjoy the show” he winked and stepped away from her

Once he was away she turned to Dick a stunned expression on both their faces “My dad just hit on you…” Dick said in a monotone voice shocked from what happened

Barbara was slightly embarrassed that Dick had seen the interaction but she didn’t want him to know that, so instead she decided to mess with him she looked over and grinned at him “Now I know who you get it from” she nudged him as they began walking again

Dick chuckled and looked at her “Hey I’m not that bad am I?” He acted hurt

She laughed and shook her head “Maybe not all the time, but you definitely got that cute smirk of yours from him” she smiled

They both stopped when she realized what she had said

“You think my smirk is cute?” He asked sending her the smirk in question

She rolled eyes “Shouldn’t we be getting to our seats?” she asked not answering his question

Dick looked at his watch the teenage Bruce had loaned him, realizing she was right he nodded “Yeah Bruce and Selina should be there by the time we get there ” he said they turned and made their way to the big top tent

[snarkwrites]

-- about my writing --

I’m currently taking requests / asks for headcanons [ can be either NSFW or just in general or a specific idea ] or fluff/filth Alphabet letters. These are the only requests I plan on taking. If you send me prompts / one shot ideas.. I won’t do them, sorry.

To see what the questions are for the fluff / filth alphabet, see [this post]

[ To my thots anon whomst I love with every cell in my body... Your thots are all going to fall under NSFW headcanons so please.. By all means.. Feel free to send me all the thots you want because I really really really really really enjoy writing them!!! Also, you can find the thots you’ve sent me on my nsfw masterlist, they’re not going anywhere. They were so good I had to add them to a masterlist somehow, I couldn’t resist. At everyone else out there, the same applies to you guys.]

So.. Here’s the thing.. I’ve decided that I’m going to be taking 3 kinds of requests. Those are as follows: Headcanons { filthy, fluffy or themed specifically at your choosing }, fluffy alphabet and filthy alphabet letters. These are the only kinds of request I answer so don’t send me prompts / one shot requests or ideas unless I specifically say otherwise.

Bearing the above in mind, I have some guidelines.

I’m only accepting headcanons (nsfw / fluff / specific theme &/or reader), fluffy or filthy alphabet letters. If you send me one shot ideas or prompts, I’m going to delete them because I don’t do one-shots.

One character per ask. I don’t care how many asks you send. But I ask that you only send one character per ask because that makes things a lot more simple for me.

You can send up to 4 letters in each ask if you’re asking for either version of the alphabet. Be sure to let me know whether you want filth or fluff or a mix of both. IE, you could send me something like this; character name - a, b {filth} & j v {fluff}. I’m not saying your ask has to look exactly like this but it does need to clearly state which version you’re asking for. The format I just did above was just the easiest way that came to mind for me.

The more precise you are with the headcanon requests you send, the better I can tailor them to you. If you just want an overall NSFW headcanon or overall fluff, that’s totally fine. But if you want a specific scenario ( friends to lovers, date night, weddings, the sky is the limit here) you need to tell me that. The same goes for if you want a specific reader (POC, plus size, sick, shy, virgin, imprint, etc) then I need to know that. It’s like I said.. The more specifics you give me, that’s more I have to work from.

As far as headcanons go, the things I won’t write are rape, incest / huge age gaps between reader / character. I’ll only write abuse if someone is getting their just desserts at the hands of character on readers behalf. Any asks containing rape / incest / huge age gaps are going to be deleted.

All asks must come to my inbox. I don’t take requests through DM or in comments on a post. If it helps, my anon is on, so you can request to your hearts content.

If the ask box is closed, this means I’m currently not taking headcanon or fluff/filth alphabet requests. This will also be noted on my blog bio and possibly a post stating why/for how long. Anything sent in after the ask box is closed will either be gotten to the next go around or it’ll be deleted, depending on the situation.

First of all... My content is meant strictly for adults. I do write some things that people underage can safely  read, but that is not always the case. I realize that I can’t stop minors from reading my work, but I can tell you outright that I’d rather you skip over it if you’re underage and it clearly states that it’s not written for anyone underage. Again.. I can’t do anything to stop minors from reading my NSFW content beyond just choosing never to post writing on the internet. And I don’t plan on stopping, so.. yeah.

I put warnings on everything. Reading those will definitely save you time and upset. If you keep reading something I’ve written and it upsets you in any way, I’m sorry but I can’t help. I warned you. You chose to take the risk -and most likely, you chose to skip the warning I gave before the post even started... It’s strictly on you now. It’s out of my hands. Any complaints or things of that nature are gonna be laughed at and deleted out of my inbox because I’m not here to argue or censor myself. I’m not your parents, just a peer. If you as a minor choose to look at me, an adult adjacent person, as an authority figure of any sort... First of all, why? Ya’ll.. no.. please don’t. I’m a hot mess, okay? To look at me like any trust worthy authority figure is... A huge error on your own part. Secondly, please don’t. I’m here to enjoy my favorite fandoms / post content for them. I’m not here to please people / censor myself and my content to make everyone else happy... Let me repeat. I put warnings on everything I post. If you keep reading and you read something you’re not supposed to this is now solely your own problem. Sorry, I guess?

I’ve seen other adults saying that they block minors on here. While I’m not gonna do that.. I will not tag minors in my NSFW content knowingly. If I find out you’re a minor and I’m posting something NSFW for a fandom you’ve asked to be tagged in, I will not be tagging you. Sorry. As much as I say I’m not here to parent you and I’m just your peer and you need to think of me like that instead, I’m also not willing to risk anything, either. I’m truly sorry in advance.

While I’m talking about tagging people / my taglist...If you want me to tag you in my writing, you need to be on my taglist. The taglist can be found [ here ] or you can dm / send an ask telling me you want to be added and I will be more than happy to do so. Don’t be afraid to ask me. I don’t mind at all! 

Every now and then, I’ll tag my friends in things I write. If I tag you in something and you don’t want me to, let me know. I won’t do it anymore. I’m not here to overwhelm or annoy anyone and I don’t want to come off as pushy, either. SO.. if you’re getting tagged or whatever and you want me to stop tagging you, all you have to do is let me know.

If you’re not on my tag list (or I don’t know you well enough to know whether you’d potentially want to read something) I will not be tagging you. If you’re a minor and I know for sure/think  you are and it’s smut, I will definitely not be tagging you.

Content I’m not willing to write or  you probably won’t find here: Incest and Rape. Those are my hard no’s. Just the thought of writing something like that makes me feel gross. I’m also not going to be writing huge age gaps in romantic stories either. (the closest I’ll come is like.. 18/19 and up to 24...) I mean absolutely no offense against people who can and do write things like this, I just can’t? 

American Horror Story; tate langdon, ben harmon, kit walker, kyle, dandy mott, jimmy darling, james patrick march, michael langdon, xavier plympton and night stalker.

Arrowverse; oliver queen, john diggle, slade wilson/deathstsroke, barry allen, cisco ramon, ray palmer, mick rory.

Bands / Celebrities; ask before sending because I haven’t done many of these and I’m still adjusting… Off the top of my head I’ve written for / feel comfortable with Nick Groff (ghost adventures), Jon Bernthal.. There are lots of others but alas, I’d stretch this out so badly if I added too many more names.

Boondock Saints movie; Connor Macmanus Murphy Macmanus & Rocco.

Breakfast Club movie; John Bender.

Castle Rock tv series; Dennis Zalewski, The Kid.

Criminal Minds; Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Hotch, Tobias Hankel & Adam/Amanda.

Crybaby Movie; wade walker.

CSI tv series; Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, Gil Grissom, Tim Speedle, Ryan Wolfe, Eric Delko, Danny Messer, Don Flack, Mack Taylor.

Dazed & Confused movie; Randal Pink Floyd, Mike Newhouse, Ron Slater, Fred O’Bannion and Kevin Pickford.

DC Cinematic; Digger Harkness.

Detroit Rock City movie; Tripp, Lex, Hawk and Jam.

Fast & The Furious series; Dom Toretto, Han.

Four Brothers movie; Angel, Jack or Bobby Mercer

Friday Night Lights tv series; Tim Riggins, ,Matt Saracen, Landry Clarke, Bobby Riggins, Vince.

General Hospital tv series; Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan, Johnny Zacarra, Dante Falconeri, several other of the guys on here…

Ghostbusters 80′s version movie; Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler , Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddemore.

Gotham tv series; Jerome Valeska, Jim Gordon, Joker, Riddler.

Harry Potter movies; Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom.

Horror movies various; Billy Loomis/Scream, Charlie Walker/Scre4m, Wade/ House of Wax, Tom Hanninger/My Bloody Valentine + others. Trust me, there are... So many others. I just didn’t have the brain power to think of them all at the moment.

Law & Order tv series; Barba, Carisi, Stabler.

Lucifer tv series; Lucifer Morningstar.

Luke Cage; Luke Cage, Shades Alvarez.

Marvel Cinematic; Bruce Banner/hulk, Captain america/steve rogers, bucky barnes/winter soldier, eric killmonger, hawkeye/clintbarton, thor, loki, pietro maximoff, venom/eddie brock, starlord/peter quill, ironman/tony stark, wolverine.. I’m a marvel ho.

Mayans MC tv series; Angel Reyes and Ez Reyes.

NCIS tv series; Anthony Dinozzo, Timothy McGee, Marty Deeks, Greg Callen.

On My Block tv series; Spooky Diaz.

Punisher tv series; Billy Russo, Frank Castle.

Riverdale tv series; Jughead Jones, FP Jones, Reggie Mantle, Sweetpea, Archie Andrews.

Shameless tv series; Lip Gallagher.

Sons of Anarchy tv series; Jax Teller, Chibs Telford, Clay Morrow, Juice Ortiz, Opie Winston.

Stranger Things tv series; Jonathan Byers, Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Jim Hopper.

Star Wars movie series; Han Solo, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Poe Dameron, Finn.

Supernatural tv series; Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley, Benny Lafitte, Kevin Tran.

Teen Wolf tv series; Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Derek Hale.

The Crow movie series; Eric Draven and Jimmy Quervo/Wicked Prayer.

The Lost Boys movie series; Edgar Frog, Allen Frog, David, Michael Emmerson, Sam Emmerson.

The Outsiders book/movie; Two Bit Matthews, Dally Winston, Darry Curtis, Soda Pop Curtis, Johnny Cade, Steve Randle.

The Walking Dead tv series; Daryl Dixon, Shane walsh, Rick Grimes, Negan, Glenn Rhee.

The Vampire Diaries tv series; Klaus Mikaelson, Kai Parker, Kol Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert, Damon Salvatore.

Twelve Rounds 3 movie; Detective John Shaw.

Twilight movies/books; Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Paul Lahote, Embry Call.

I’m gonna be honest here. I post on my own time, at my own pace. Some days I post constantly, sometimes it’s days or even weeks, and occasionally, a month before I post anything. So.. Now ya know.

If I’m not on and posting, odds are I’m busy, taking a break or whatever. But I’ll come back! I always do. 

Basically, what I’m saying here is I have no set posting schedule. At all. I post what I want when I’m in the mood to do so. Just something to keep in mind when you’re asking for headcanons / nsfw alphabet letters with characters.

[heyitsani]

I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All the Time Chapter 5

Word Count: 7078

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major character death, Mentions of past rape/non-con (eventually)

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne/Jon Kent (hinted?)

Summary: The Feast of the Seven brings a source of comfort to Damian. Comfort that will help him get through yet another loss.

Notes: All right, this branches into some new territory that has not previously been touched because you are seeing it from Damian’s eyes.  And Dick was too heartbroken to see most of it.  Next chapter is all things you have not seen at all.  We branch into whole new sides of the story because this chapter is where the last story ended.

Lots more angst in the next chapter.  Chapter 7 will bring more fluff than angst.

If you have not read When You Move I Move, this one won’t really make much sense.  So you can read that here: WYMIM

You can also read this chapter on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Great Hall was already bustling with people when Damian made his way down the first morning of the Feast.  It may have been his first, but he was well read on what happened during the seven days. Each morning people came from all over and made a contribution to the kitchen for the feast that would be laid out for all to partake in the same evening.  His grandfather had told him that the crown usually provided the vast majority, but from the looks of the items on the long table in the center of the room, that wouldn’t be the case this time.

“It’s quite the sight, isn’t it?”  Damian turned to find Ser Roy standing behind him, out of his uniform and far more casual than he had ever seen the man.  Damian was certain he had never seen the solider in anything other than his uniform. “I think the history books will record this as the most generous Feast our kingdom as ever seen.”

Looking back to the table, watching a few citizens placing more items on the already overflowing table, Damian felt his sadness surge.  “He left so many behind.”

Roy hummed.  “He did, Your Highness.  That he did.”  The pair stood in silence for a moment longer before Ser Roy laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and left the room.  But Damian found himself rooted in his spot, watching people come and go.  A few of the citizens greeted him and he returned their attention, but for the most part he was left alone in his observations.

But once it seemed that there was to be a lull in people coming in, Damian made his way over toward the kitchens out of sheer habit, pausing right outside the entry way.  He could see the counter where he and Ser Jason had spent so many meals, and snacks, together.  He could see the staff bustling about, busy in their preparations for the feast and it made him wonder if he would be in the way.  For once in his life, he was almost afraid to set foot in the kitchen where he had so many good memories.

“Your Highness!”  The head chef called out when he was spotted, still debating if he should enter or not.  “Are you going to stand in the doorway all day or would you like to sit for a spell?”  Her eyes were sad and yet held so much warmth at the same time.  It was enough of an invitation, despite the words she spoke, to get his feet moving.  “We’ll fix you a plate up quick.  Tea?”

Nodding his head, he slowly sat himself down on his usual stool.  He pointedly didn’t look at the empty spot to his right, trying not to think about how lonely it felt to sit here without anyone beside him.  Soon enough a plate was being placed in front of him and a teacup followed shortly.  He tried not to notice how lonely the single cup and small plate looked without their usual mates.  The hand that fell on the back of his neck caused his head to droop and his eyes to close.

“It will get easy, Little Prince.  A bit each day.”  It brought unwanted tears to his eyes, something he had been so good at avoiding up until then. “Oh, Little Prince…”  He found himself being pulled into an unfamiliar embrace by a familiar person.  And though Damian knew he should pull himself together, he couldn’t find the strength right then.  He just needed a moment to stop trying to be strong for his father, for the family name, for impressions sake.  He just needed a moment.

He didn’t notice the kitchen going quiet while he silently cried into the chef’s shoulder.  He didn’t notice the aborted footsteps of another person of the castle coming into the kitchen.  The hushed conversation between that person and one of the staff.  

“You just let it out right now, Little Prince.  You just let yourself feel.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Damian,” a familiar voice called out to him as he walked down the hallway and it made him frown. He hadn’t known his uncle would be joining them during the Feast, but it was a surprise he would welcome.  Turning he looked at the man at the far end of the hallway before hurrying to greet him with a hug.  “Oh Nephew,” he said gently, more gently than he had ever heard from the other man.  But Damian didn’t want to dissect that right then.  He just wanted to accept comfort from someone who was offering it without expecting him to give it in return.  Or not even being able to give it period.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he muttered into his uncle’s shoulder.  

He felt the motion of his uncle nodding but didn’t bother lifting his head.  Instead he tightened his arms around the older man and clung to him the same way he had clung to his father the day Ser Jason had come home for his final rest.  “Father sent a message immediately and we came as soon as it was in hand.  How is your father?”

For that, Damian did lift his head.  It was then he noticed Duke Kon and Jon standing a few feet away, observing. Flushing with guilt at the sight of Jon, remembering how his mother had forced him to cut off contact with the other teen, Damian dropped his gaze.  

“He is not good.”

“I suspected that would be the case,” his uncle admitted.  “But I can hedge a guess that he is putting up a good mask and not many realize it?”  Damian looked at him and nodded.  “Yes, he was always good at hiding his pain away.”

Glancing back down the hallway where he had been heading to see his father, he worried his lip for a moment.  “I was just going to see if he would take lunch with me in the kitchens.  Maybe you could go to him instead?  I know he has not hidden much of how he’s been feeling from me, but perhaps a brother would be comforting.”

He looked back when a hand landed on his upper arm and Damian was surprised to see it was Duke Kon who had reached out to him.  “Timothy and I will go to him.”  Damian’s gaze flicked to Jon for a moment before looking back to his two uncles and nodded.  

Timothy stepped forward again and wrapped Damian up in his arms again for a moment, Damian easily sinking into the comfort again, before stepping away to head down the hallway with his husband at his side.  He watched them go for a few moments, ignoring the shifting of Jon just a few paces away, before sighing and facing the fact that he couldn’t put this off.

Slowly, hesitantly, he turned to look at Jon and found the other man watching him sadly.  “Your Highness…”  Damian greeted, uncertain of what to do.  He could hear his mother’s voice telling him that Jon was not his friend, that he was a political ally and that was it.  But he didn’t want that.

“Is that who I am now?” Jon’s voice was soft, sadness sitting heavy in the air between them.  Shrugging a shoulder, Damian looked away from him and tried to think of something to say.  “I can be what you need me to be, Damian.”  The use of his name instead of his title caused him to close his eyes. “Do you need me to be Prince Jon? Do you want me to be?”

No.  He didn’t want that at all.  He knew he wanted Jon as a friend.  He wanted the casual comfort between them.  He wanted the easy laughter.  But he didn’t know how to ask for that when his mother could be anywhere. But part of him reminded him that Jon’s friendship was worth it.  Wasn’t it?

“I need to take Titus for a walk.”  The words seemed to have caught Jon off guard from the look Damian could see on his face. “We usually go further into the grounds and I like to eat while he runs off his excessive energy.”  Jon looked confused for a beat before understanding struck him and he nodded.  Without another word, Damian watched the other man turn and hurry toward the kitchens.

He knew Jon understood what he was saying without actually saying it.  So he turned and headed toward his rooms to collect Titus for the walk Jon would happen to join him on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was following Titus down the steps into the back grounds of the castle when Jon appeared almost out of nowhere.  

“Hello, Your Highness,” he greeted, voice even.  But his eyes gave a twinkle of excitement.  “Are you off for a walk?  Might I join you?”

Nodding his head, Damian kept silent as he watched Titus bound over to Jon and greet him before circling Damian and taking off in the direction they usually went.  Damian noticed the sack slung over Jon’s shoulder and gave a small smile in response.

“Shall I follow at a distance, My Prince?”  Ser Kyle called from his spot near the gates where he had been speaking to some fellow guards. At Damian’s nod, the soldier gave one of his own and let the pair walk ahead of him.  He knew the solider would keep them in his line of sight, but keep far enough back to give them some semblance of privacy.

“He is new?”  Jon questioned, glancing back at the guard.

Damian hummed and clasped his hands behind his back.  “When I turned twelve, it was decided I would have my own personal guard appointed as I was then allowed to freely walk the city grounds.”  Jon didn’t reply to that, but Damian could see him nodding out of the corner of his eye.  The pair walked in silence for a while, following Titus as he chased various birds and bugs through the ankle high grass on the grounds.  It was comfortable.  Or it would have been, if Damian hadn’t found himself so tense being so close to his former friend.  Or maybe Jon was still his friend, he couldn’t be certain.

“Damian,” Jon spoke softly, reaching out and gripping the younger’s elbow to get him to stop walking. “I know what your mother did.” Frowning, Damian looked at Jon. He was sure his confusion was written plain as day.  “Ser Jason sent me a letter a few months after yours stopped suddenly.  I assume that is when you told him what she had demanded of you.”

Thinking back to that conversation in the kitchens, Damian felt his sadness grow again because conversations like that would never happen again.  The man had been understanding and quiet, letting Damian release his frustrations and anger out on him.  Then he had told Damian that even though she had told him not to, he could go to his father. That he would take care of it. But Damian was so tired of being the reason his parents were constantly at odds, so he had told his father figure that he couldn’t.  That it was just better to do what she demanded and save them all the frustration and fighting.

“I need to ask you something,” Jon stepped closer and Damian watched him carefully.  “I need to ask you something and I would like you to be completely honest with me, if you would?”  Not trusting himself to speak, Damian nodded his head and waited while Jon seemed to gather himself.  It took a few tries before the older man was finally able to get his words out.  “Should I be concerned enough to bring this up with our fathers?  Is…is this the first time she has made such demands of you?”  The question didn’t make sense to him.  But then…

Oh.

Oh.

Damian had never told Jon the kind of woman his mother was.  He had let Jon make his own assessments and assumptions based on what he saw during his visits, but Damian had personally never complained about the woman.  And Catalina Wayne was many things, but she was always proper when there were guests in the castle.  It was one of the rare times his parents wouldn’t be caught fighting any time they were in the same room.

“Not all mothers are like yours,” he admitted.  “But this wouldn’t be news to my father, Jon.  He, more than anyone, is well acquainted with his Queen’s short comings.” That didn’t seem to make Jon feel any better, if the tightening of the hand on his elbow was anything to go off of. “Jon…I am sorry I did not fight for you. But I must be very careful of the battles I pick.  For my sake and my father’s.”

“I do not understand.”

Tugging his arm out of Jon’s grip, Damian started walking again.  He gathered his thoughts before glancing back to see if Ser Kyle was in earshot or not.  When he was sure the man was far enough away, Damian look at Jon as he walked beside him.

“My parents did not marry because they wanted to.  They did not marry to advance an alliance between two kingdoms.  They married because my mother was desperate, and my father could not marry the person he wanted to.”  He watched Jon take in this information and waited, hoping he would come to the unspoken conclusion without Damian having to say it.  It took a few more passing moments before Jon’s face showed his understanding.  “I am a pawn to one parent and treasure to the other.”

“Dami…”  Jon started but Damian waved his hand to stop him for saying whatever it was he was going to say.

“It is what it is,” Damian admitted with a shrug before pausing their walk to let out a whistle to call Titus back from wherever he had run off to.  “I do not tell you this for pity.  I simply want you to understand that though I deeply appreciate your friendship, you are very removed from what it is like for us here.  And now more than ever…”  He trailed off and watched Titus trot his way over.  The dog reached them and obediently sat next to Damian’s feet.

“He loved you very much.”

“And I him.”

“I am sorry, Dami.  To lose someone you love that way so suddenly, I know it must hurt.”  Nodding slowly, Damian ran his hand over Titus’s head as the dog sat panting.  “And you have been looking after your father. Has anyone been looking after you?”

But Damian wasn’t sure how to answer that.  He had his family around him, leaning on each other to get through such a trying time. But did Damian lean on any of them that way he had allowed them to lean on him if they needed?  He wasn’t sure.  His father was his usual comfort but for obvious reasons that was not happening. Then it would have been Ser Jason. But he couldn’t think of a moment when he had felt comfort the past couple days.  Not like he had when he had hugged his uncle in the hallway earlier.

“I shall look after you,” Jon offered, reaching forward and pulling the thirteen-year-old into a hug. And Damian found himself falling into it without any resistance.  They were safe from prying eyes out on the grounds.  Ser Kyle was trusted, and his mother would never come this far out.  Jon cared.  And Damian was just so tired of standing strong for those around him.  He was so tired of being weighed down by so many expectations.  It was almost easy to just slump into Jon’s embrace and let his forehead fall against the man’s shoulder.  

“I’ve got you.”  And Damian trusted him to do just that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Your Highness?”  A knock came on the open door, a guard sticking his head into the room and seeking out Damian.  It took everything within him not to sigh at the sight of the man. He had been with his mother all morning and was finally able to just relax and breathe.  It was all he wanted.  Some peace before he went searching for Jon to spend some time with the other teen.  “His Majesty asked me to retrieve you for the Council meeting.”

Damian frowned, “I wasn’t aware there was one?”

“It’s an emergency meeting. I do not know more than that, I’m sorry.”  But it was enough.  Nodding, he pushed himself up out of the chair and tried to shake off the exhaustion. He could do this, whatever his father had called the Council together for, he could handle.  Then he would take a few moments to himself before he sought out Jon.

Following the guard down the hallway, Damian glanced around and noticed Ser Kyle was missing.  “Where is my guard?”  He asked curiously.  The guard leading him said nothing as they rounded the corner and simply pointed to the small gathering of the main guards of the family.  “Ser Kyle, Ser Victor, Ser Roy…what is going on?”  He questioned when they got closer.  The three men turned away from the other three guards there and gave a bow to him.

“Your father asked Ser Victor to gather us along with the Council,” Ser Kyle explained.  “I see he summoned you for this as well.”  Nodding his head, Damian glanced over the guards before heading into the hall.  He found the majority of the councilmembers already seated, but a few were gathered at the head of the table talking to his father.

“This is most unregular,” he heard one of them say before he was noticed by his father.

“Good, Damian. Everyone, please take your seats. Son, you are to sit at the head today.  I am excusing myself from the proceedings.”  There were a few called protests that were shot down the moment his father looked their way, guiding Damian to sit in the seat reserved for the king.  His father then pulled out the chair to the left, the one Damian usually sat in.  “Ser Victor, please bring in all but Ser Garth.  I would like him on that side of the door.  You may fill him in after.  Ser Kyle, you stand on this side of the doors.  Thank you.”  

There was some shuffling as the guards took their places and Ser Victor made his way to stand behind the chair the king stood in front of.  Everything about the situation was irregular and Damian couldn’t shake the feeling that something life changing was about to happen.

“Now, I have gathered you here in an emergency capacity because I had something brought to my attention this morning and Ser Victor is here as a witness to the event.”  His father then began to tell the story of Madame Xanadu, the healer most knew from the city.  Damian had heard great things about her from some of the citizens.  He listened to his father tell how a woman attempting to disguise herself approached her for a curse that would spite a man who had scorned her.  He didn’t go into details about the curse or what the healer had done.  But he did tell of the knowledge the healer had of the woman’s actions against the Slayer they had just finished celebrating.

Looking away from his father, Damian sought out Ser Kyle and found the man looking right at him.  That was all Damian needed to see in order to know he was thinking about the same event.  A guard in Ah Ghul garb and his mother in her commoner cloaks.

“What is it you are asking to do, Your Majesty?”  One of the councilmembers asked once his father had finished telling them what had been relayed to him.  “Are we to put the Queen on trial for killing Ser Jason?  With only the word of one healer?”

“Do we have any other proof? Anything else that could possibly be suspicious?”

A solid nod from Ser Kyle was all Damian needed to know he had to say something.  “I have something.  Perhaps more than one something,” he stated, looking over at his father.  He watched the man’s brows pull together and a frown tug at the corners of his lips.  “A suspicious something, at least.  A few weeks ago, I spotted Mother rushing out of the grounds while wearing clothing of the citizens.  Ser Kyle and I followed her deeper into the city and observed her in conversation with a man dressed in the robes of an Ah Ghul guard.”

The shocked murmurs and whispers from the councilmembers were not surprising.  His father’s face going blank said so much more.  And Damian hated it.  The man was not happy that Damian had not told him about this.

“Did you hear what was said?”  Damian’s attention was pulled away from his father to the woman who questioned him.

“Just a few things,” he admitted, sending a guilty look toward Ser Kyle who looked surprised.  “We were up above on a rooftop and Ser Kyle does not speak Arabic, but I heard ‘you owe him much’, ‘Ra’s does not offer this lightly.’  Your son will bow to him’, and ‘I will hold my end of the bargain.  Or my life is forfeit.’.”  He let the words settle over the members and looked back to his father. “I do not know more than that.  Other than if you could search her rooms?  Many times in my lessons, she would be pacing while reading letters that appeared to be written in the same language of Nanda Parbat.”

He father said nothing as he turned to look at Ser Victor.  Damian saw the guard nod before he turned and went to speak to the other guards standing off to the side.  

“I am calling for the arrest of Her Majesty.  She will stand trial and Madame Xanadu has said she will testify.  My Son,” his father looked down at Damian and clenched his jaw for a moment, seemingly gathering himself.  “Will you tell the story again before the courts?”  Will you condemn your mother?  That was the unspoken question.  His father didn’t want him to have to be used against the woman who was supposed to love him unconditionally, but she had never been that person.  Ser Jason had been.

“I will.”

“My King,” Ser Kyle called out, stepping away from his post hesitantly.  “Perhaps I might stand in his place?”

“Oh,” his father paused to consider this before nodding.  “Yes, yes that would be acceptable.  If we need more, I will call upon you Son.”  Damian frowned at being left out but nodded.  It would probably be better this way.

“Prince Damian, will you make the official order?  As the King has removed himself from that position today, it falls upon you.”  Damian saw his father sit down as the councilmember spoke and Damian slowly stood to his feet.  Swallowing hard, he tried to steel himself.

“Ser Victor, under order of The Crown and Council, arrest Her Majesty Queen Catalina of House Wayne for her part in the death of Ser Jason Todd.”  The head guard placed a hand over his heart and gave a stiff bow before calling an order to the other guards.  Damian waited for them to clear out of the room before he dropped back down into his seat and looked back to his father.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had remained in the back of the room while his mother had faced her trial.  His father had told him he could skip the entire event, but Damian had said he owed it to Ser Jason to be there.  He owed it to the man who had been his father more than she had been his mother.  

And he couldn’t shake the guilt that if maybe he had told his father about what he and Ser Kyle had seen, they might have avoided losing Ser Jason.

But his father had shot that thought down quickly.  That it wouldn’t have been near enough to put her on trial.  It would have only caused her to change her tactics.  But because he had remained silent, they had gathered enough intel from Madame Xanadu, the observations of Damian, and the letters hidden away in the Queen’s study that Damian had seen her reading before.

It had been enough.

“We sentence Catalina of House Flores to death for the crime of conspiracy to kill Ser Jason Todd and treason to The Crown.”  The words were cold and Damian flinched at the sound of the gavel hitting the table, but he did not feel more than that.  He could not bring himself to feel anything as his mother was sentenced to death. He was about to lose his second parent in less than a month and yet he could not feel anything.

“Damian?”  He glanced over to find Duke Kon standing beside his bench with a worried look.  Standing, Damian moved over to the man and glanced back at the space where his mother was fighting the guards assigned to take her back to the dungeons.  “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, looking back to the man.  “I don’t know what I feel.  I don’t know if I should mourn her or hate her.  She stole him from us but she was still my mother.”  The Duke nodded sadly before wrapping an arm around his shoulders, leading him out of the room before the crowds watching the trial left.  The judges still had to tell how the former queen would be executed and Damian didn’t need to be there for that.

He kept Duke Kon guide him out of the hall and down the steps into the streets.  There were citizens waiting to see what the outcome of the trial would be, but none of them would approach him.  None of them would ask a son if his mother was to be put to death or not.  And that was really the only question that had to be answered.  Everyone knew the queen would no longer be a queen after the trial, but whether or not her actions warranted execution or exile had been in question.

They had made it back to the carriages when a man rushed out of the hall and exclaimed, “Execution!”, leading the crowd to cheer in a deafening manner.  Damian was glad to be inside the carriage when the joy was exclaimed by those waiting outside.  He was glad Duke Kon had gotten him away from that before he was caught in it.

“Did Father ask you to do this?”  He asked, curious about the timing.

“No, I had a feeling what the outcome would be.  You did not need to deal with that on top of everything else.”  The man smiled at him from the seat across from him and Damian sighed.  “I know justice is being served, but you are still her child.  You still deserve to be protected.  Son of the fallen queen or not.”

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dungeons were quiet when he entered them with the tray of food in hand.  He had begged Ser Kyle to allow him to do this and though the guard had voiced his objections quite loudly, he had relented.  He had even come up with the plan to have him replace the guard at the door so Damian could speak to his mother for a few moments in peace. Or as peace as it could be considering Ser Kyle made it clear he would be within earshot.

“I was wondering if you’d find your way down here,” the familiar, cold voice sounded.  Damian didn’t reply as he set the tray of food into the slot of the bars and stepped back.  He took a moment to look at the proud woman before him.  It had been a week since her trial and the following day would be her execution.  And despite the impending death, she still managed to look as though nothing could touch her.

At least not mentally.

Physically was a different story.  Dirt caked her hair and the gown she wore.  The same gown she had been wearing at her trial.  He knew they would clean her up in the morning before taking her to the square, but right then she looked like the scum the kingdom thought (and knew) her to be.

“So why have you come, My Son?  Why have you brought me my final meal?  What have you to say to your poor mother?”  Her tone was cruel, her eyes angry, but they didn’t touch him.  He wouldn’t let them.  She was a monster.  She had stolen a father from him, and he would never forgive her for that.  “What?  Nothing to say?  Don’t tell me you didn’t come down here just to look at me?”

“Did you ever love me?”

The woman scoffed as she stood from her bed in the corner and sauntered forward.  She grabbed the tray of food and walked back over to take a seat, not bothering to say anything as she did.  But the look in her eyes said enough.

“Did you ever love Father?” That got a reaction.

“I would have given him everything if he had loved me!”  Her voice was a growl, almost feral and it made Damian take a step back.  “I gave him everything!  I gave him my life, my body, you!  And he gave that…that…man everything he should have given to me! And now he will live the rest of his life miserable and alone.  And when he dies, he will cement that loneliness for the rest of his lives.”

Damian knew she was referencing the curse his father had mentioned Madame Xanadu had done for her. Whatever the curse was, he knew his father would never say.  He would eventually have to go to the source of it.

“But you would have given me to Nanda Parbat?”  He questioned, wanting to know what had been promised to the king of her home country. His mother rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall as she took a bite of bread.

“Ra’s was a pawn.  His rule is coming to an end and he is about to be overthrown.”  That was curious.  He hadn’t heard of any unrest in the kingdom, but he would file it away for his father later. Once this was over, he would make sure to mention it.  “But you were my greatest piece.  I had you primed to be my puppet once you took the throne at 25.  I had your wife picked out.  A meek no one from a small, desperate kingdom who we could overthrow if they turned us down.  I had it all planned out.  And then when our power was great enough,” she shrugged and smiled lazily at him, “who knows?”

And Damian felt his blood run cold.  The words were unspoken, but he heard them loud and clear.  She would have found a way to take the throne from him for herself. And though the thought that she could do that to her own child was terrible, he knew it never would have happened. A kingdom like Gotham would never have fallen like that.  The citizens would never have allowed it.

“We remain in our throne because they allow us to.  Never underestimate the power of a kingdom’s citizens.  We work for them.  Everything we do is for them.  And if they do not like what we do, then they will take back the throne and give it to someone more worthy,” his father had told him when they had walked the streets one day.  It was what set their kingdom apart from so many others.  Their people had power.

“I die tomorrow with the satisfaction that your father will never have the happiness he seeks.  That will be enough for me,” his mother broke through his thoughts.  And Damian knew he had heard enough.  Shaking his head, he turned and walked away from her cell toward the door where Ser Kyle was watching the exchange with sad eyes.  “I will always be with you, My Son.  You will never be rid of my lessons, no matter how hard you try.  You are a Flores as much as a Wayne.”  He ignored his mother’s calls as he reached his guard and waited for the man to open the door so he could leave.

He didn’t need to tell her that he was far more Todd than he was Flores.

It was enough that he knew it to be true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The knock on his door was loud in the quiet of his room, but he didn’t have the energy to see who was there. Instead he remained on his back, star fished on his bed, waiting to see if the person would enter any way or just leave.  When a few beats passed and nothing happened, Damian assumed they had gone and allowed his eyes to slip shut again.

Until he heard the door being pushed open.

“Dami?”  Jon’s voice reached him, hesitation clear.  Opening his eyes again, he turned just his head to look at the sixteen-year-old as he stood just inside the room.  He held the door in hand, peeking around the wood, ready to leave if it was demanded of him.  Damian wasn’t sure if he wanted him to come or go, but whatever Jon saw on his face made the decision for him.  

He stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind him before making his way over to the edge of the bed.

Damian just watched him come closer, not saying anything.  Not moving a muscle outside of blinking and breathing.  Even that felt like work at the moment.  And he had no idea why he felt this way.  He had no idea why he was grieving a woman who had never loved him the way he had wanted and needed her to.  She had admitted to practically hating him when he had visited her before her execution.

But still, here he was heavy with grief.

“Can I do anything?” Jon asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and took one of Damian’s hands in both of his.  Could he?  Damian had no idea.  Not when his own emotions made no sense to him.

So he said nothing and instead rolled onto his side toward Jon and sought comfort in the hands holding his own.  He didn’t know if Jon would understand that him just being there was enough, but he hoped the older boy would.  He hoped his friend understood that not having to pretend he wasn’t hurting was all that he really needed in that moment.  And when Jon said nothing, only shifting to sit more comfortably on the bed, Damian knew he got it.  

He couldn’t be sure how long they remained there in the silence but somehow in the time Damian ended up with his head in Jon’s lap, face turned toward his stomach.  And that was how his father found them when he knocked and entered the room.

“Oh Jon,” the king paused in mid-entrance, hesitating as he took in the position of the two of them. Damian turn in time to see something painful and soft cross the man’s features, but he wasn’t sure what about the situation causes either emotion.  “I was just coming to see if you wanted to join us for tea or if you needed more time.”

Sighing, Damian pushed himself upright and pulled his hand away from the one that was still holding his while the other had been carding through his dark hair.  “I suppose I should join.”  He looked at Jon before looking back to his father.

“You don’t have to, Damian. I do not expect that of you.”  And Damian knew that, but it didn’t mean that his mother’s influence had simply vanished with her death.  It would take some time.  Maybe not doing this was the first step in the direction of breaking that hold she had over him?  He couldn’t be sure.  There was so much uncertainty in his life now and he wondered if this was what a boat adrift felt like.  “I’ll have your meals sent up here for the remainder of the day,” his father said softly. “Tomorrow you can let the staff know if you would like to return to meals with us or if you need more time. No one would blame you, My Son.”

But it felt wrong all the same.

Jon squeezed his hand in solidarity as Damian considered his father’s offer.  After a few beats, Damian nodded and looked at his father.  “I shall let them know after I wake and take my breakfast here as usual.  Will you have Jon’s sent here as well?  I don’t…”

“Of course.  I’ll let Timothy and Kon know you are here, Jon,” his father agreed easily, smiling sadly at the two.  But Damian could see the happiness under it.  Whether it was because Damian had his friend or because he was admitting to needing the support, he wasn’t sure.  But he was glad to see some form of happiness on the man after everything.  And he was glad to know it was him who had done it.  Without any hesitation, his father closed the remaining space and gave Damian a quick hug and pressed a kiss to his temple before heading out of the room.

“Is that okay?” Damian asked Jon, realizing he hadn’t exactly asked if the older teen would stay with him.

“I had no plans of going anywhere,” he said as he moved onto the bed so he could sit with his back to the headboard.  With a simple gesture, Damian moved over next to him and placed his head back into Jon’s lap. With one hand still holding onto Damian’s, Jon used the other to go back to sliding through the dark locks of hair. “I am here as long as you need me to be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing back, Damian watched his uncles and Jon as they handed over belongings for the staff to pack away.  He watched his grandfather speak with his uncle and Duke Kon turned to address the king. He didn’t know why he was keeping his distance, but he couldn’t bring himself to move any closer right then.  He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to his uncle. And he really wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jon and the comfort the other had provided him just yet.  

Almost as if he could read his thoughts, Damian watched his Uncle Timothy excuse himself and make his way over to where Damian currently stood.

“Nephew,” the older man greeted softly.  And Damian, not quite trusting his own voice, remained silent and watched his uncle glance over at Jon.  The elder teen was speaking animatedly with the king and the duke, something Damian couldn’t quite hear from this distance.  “You could come with us?  I am sure neither would be upset if we held off for you to pack some things.”  Damian glanced over to his uncle before looking at his father.

“I cannot leave him alone right now,” he responded.

“He would tell you it is not your responsibility to look after him.”

Looking at his uncle, Damian shrugged. “Someone needs to.  He will not show his pain to anyone else.”  And his uncle signed, nodding.

“No, I suppose he will not.”

The silence felt heavy between them as they both turned to look at the others as they spoke.  Damian, for all his desire to be near his father and Jon, could not get himself to move still.  Jon had promised he would be there as long as Damian needed him to be, yet Damian was not ready to let the other teen go just yet.  He wasn’t ready to go back to lonely nights in his room and quiet halls without Jon’s laughter to fill them.

He also didn’t understand why he was feeling so strongly about this.

“Dami!”  Jon moved away from his uncle and Damian’s father and grandfather, stopping to stand in front of Damian.  His uncle gave him one last hug before he moved away so the two teens could say their goodbyes in peace.  “You will come visit soon, right?”

Damian nodded his head, but struggled to say anything in return.  He wanted to go with them now, but he hadn’t been lying to his uncle when he had said he couldn’t.

“And you will write?” The question was hesitant, and Damian’s green eyes snapped back into focus at them.

“I promise.  I won’t…not this time.”  Not when his mother wasn’t there to force him to stop.  There was no one else who would something so cruel of him. He knew that now, that what his mother had done was cruel.  That her intention had been control and isolation.  His father would never.  “I will miss having you here.”  It was hard to admit, but he felt it needed to be said.  And when Jon surged forward to wrap him in a hug, Damian knew it was the right thing to say.

“I will miss you as well,” he whispered.  Damian wrapped his arms around Jon’s middle and clung tightly to him, eyes closed and head buried in the crook of his shoulder.  “I wish I didn’t have to go, but Father is getting anxious for us to return.”  Damian nodded into his shoulder and tightened his arms slightly.  He would miss this comfort.

“Jon, we must go,” Duke Kon called out, causing the pair to pull apart.  None of the men watching them commented on the wet lashes and cheeks, but all could see it.  

Damian looked up at Jon and gave him one last smile.  “I will see you soon, Jon.  Safe travels.”  The older teen nodded before hugging him one last time.  Once he released Damian, he was rushing off toward the carriage where his travel companions waited for him.  Damian didn’t acknowledge his father as the man stepped up beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  He simply leaned into the man’s side and watched the caravan pull away as they gave one last wave.

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on The Witness

[no spoilers... this game would be nearly impossible to spoil in text]

Where do I even start?

I guess one thing to know about The Witness is that you can watch the famous 9-minute tracking shot from Nostalghia - where Oleg Yankovsky tries to walk a candle from one end of a drained pool to the other without extinguishing it - in its entirety. (I think it’s the entirety, I left before the clip was over; yeah, Jon, I get it.)

How do we interpret this? I haven’t watched Nostalghia, but I know that scene. Every film major knows that scene. Tony Zhou cited it in discussing lateral tracking shots, how they emphasize environment and create emotional distance from humans in the frame, and how Tarkovsky uses this to make the sequence lonely and arduous. Kyle Kallgren cited it in discussing how YouTube makes critique of certain types of art difficult, and Content ID essentially decides for us what film as a medium is even for.

Jon Blow plays the clip in full with no commentary - or, rather, the game itself is the commentary. There’s a sequence in Indie Game: The Movie where Jon Blow expresses some pain about how his game Braid was received, how he felt no one who played it ever really understood everything he was trying to say with it. That feeling might be ameliorated if he weren’t such a constituionally obtuse motherfucker.

Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between Yankovsky’s dedication to a task that is simple yet difficult and the game’s puzzles, built, as they are, around complexity-through-simplicity. Except, Yankovsky’s Andrei has a personal investment carrying this candle, one Tarkovsky has spent the entire film setting up. I was about five hours into The Witness when I found this clip - more than twice the duration of Nostalghia - and I still didn’t know why I was solving the game’s puzzles or what they were trying to communicate.

Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between the patience it encourages in its audience and the calm, meditative mode all The Witness’ allusions to Buddhism are seemingly on about, to give yourself over to the time investment the game demands of you. Except, Nostalghia asks you to spend nine minutes thinking about one thing; zen Buddhism encourages you to think of nothing; The Witness asks you to spend between fifteen and forty hours thinking about a zillion things. It is not a game about clearing your mind, it’s about filling your mind up. There is little continuity between the thoughtless peace of meditation or Yankovsky’s emotional collapse and the game’s intended “aha” moments.

But the ambiguity, the contextlessness of the scene’s inclusion, means you can’t be sure whether it’s contradictory. If we assume it’s about dedication, and we find a flaw in that worldview, maybe the problem is that we didn’t assume it was about meditation. And vice versa. If it fails to communicate, maybe the problem is us.

The only thing this scene communicates for sure is that Jon Blow wants me to know he watches Tarkovsky.

Jon Blow wants you to trust he knows what he’s doing. That the game is saying something. He also never, ever wants to tell you what it is. (If he could just tell you, he wouldn’t have spent eight years making it into a game, I suppose.) But this operates on completely opposite rules to the puzzles. Puzzles in The Witness are maze-drawing panels with increasing numbers of rules, all conveying their rules nonverbally, through gameplay. You see a symbol you don’t recognize, or a shape you don’t know how to draw, and you try things out, you make assumptions, you fail repeatedly, and then something works, the panel lights up, and you know you got it right. Now you understand what the symbol means.

The theming doesn’t work that way. Whatever theory you have as to what the game’s about, there will be no moment of clarification. Blow has an incredible talent, in fact, for constructing imagery that is hilariously blunt yet still ambiguous. As with Braid, where he crammed a straightforward narrative about memory and regret with allusions to quantum physics and the atomic bomb, The Witness references Einstein, the Buddha, Richard Feynman, romantic poetry, tech culture, game design, and - most of all - itself.

I realize I’m dancing around the subject here, because what the gameplay is (or isn’t) in service of is far easier to talk about than the gameplay itself. The Witness is a big island full of touch screens where you draw lines on grids. That’s it. The island is dense with structures and biomes, impossibly having a desert, a swamp, and three different kinds of forest which appear to be in four different seasons. What it doesn’t have is any reason why you’re there or a justification for solving ~600 line-drawing puzzles other than because Jon Blow wants you to. I was wrong in my video from 2015 to call The Witness narrative-based; the game contains narrative but it is not a narrative game. The island is very pretty, meticulously crafted, and not trying in the slightest to look like a real place. It is Myst minus everything people like about Myst.

Absent a reason for my character - if I’m even playing a “character” - to solve the puzzles, why am I, the player, solving them? The short answer is, “Because they’re there. You knew what you were buying. You solve the puzzles because it’s a puzzle game, do I gotta draw you a diagram?” (No, you need me to draw 600 diagrams.) That is unsatisfactory because the island is clearly more than an elaborate menu system.

Do I solve them because they’re interesting? I mean, they’re not bad, if you’re into Sudoku or, like... cereal boxes. In and of themselves, they’re not my cuppa. People told me about a repeated sense of epiphany the game provoked for them, but that’s not the way I experienced it. Every puzzle is so carefully tutorialized that I never felt I was making an intuitive leap. There is no lateral thinking in The Witness, it is strictly longitudinal. You get a row of puzzle panels, and you take them one by one (you are, in fact, prevented from jumping ahead), each one building on what it taught you. And they get hard, certainly, but each is the logical progression of the one before. And each is a marvel of nonverbal communication, but that’s more Jon being clever than it is me. This is not to judge people who did get a feeling of discovery; one person’s “aha” moment is another’s “yeah, Jon, I get it.”

(Aside: I did get a proper “aha” moment when I came to a panel that could be solved two ways. It controlled a moving platform; draw one line, the platform moves right, draw the other and it moves left. And I thought, “Huh, I guess I get it, but those shapes seem kind of arbitrary.” But then, while it was moving, I realized the platform itself mirrored what I had drawn; the two designs were what shape the platform would take when connected with each endpoint! And I went “oh fuck, oh fuck, that’s clever, that‘s really clever.” My first epiphany. It was the most Myst-like the game got, it was clearly not the kind of experience Jon Blow was interested in recreating much, and it took place 7 hours in.)

Do I solve them because I’m compelled? In the first play sessions, I asked myself several times, “Do I even like this?” The game is often tedious and frustrating and I regularly muttered “fuck off, Jon.” But I kept playing. I got annoyed when people interrupted me. I got a hideous case of Tetris effect. They’re not the kind of puzzles you can spend the day thinking through, like you would with Myst or Riven; they’re too abstract to visualize without them right in front of you. And the world is pretty but it’s not a place I wish I could visit, like I would with, again, Myst or Riven. But I kept going back. I solved puzzles less because I found pleasure in finishing them than I found displeasure in them being unfinished. Jon Blow has given talks on how game design focused on being “addictive” is basically evil - his word, not mine. And yet... it felt more like I was playing his game because I was hooked than because I was enjoying myself.

Do I solve them because I trust Jon Blow? Because I believe this will all amount to something? Jon certainly expects me to trust him. The game blares PROFUNDITY AHEAD constantly. (I remind you it quotes the Buddha.) But, in the years since Braid, I have grown less impressed with Jon Blow’s “art game genius” shtick. One fun bit about playing The Witness so late is finally reading all the discourse, and, well before finishing the game, I had read the thoughts of Andrew Plotkin, and Liz Ryerson, and Andi McClure - all of whom are brilliant - so I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. What’s surprised me is, having gotten to the first ending - not the secret ending - what the game is up to still isn’t clear. There are enough allusions to heady ideas that you can infer some stuff, but the default ending - while pretty enough - adds nothing and reveals nothing. And getting the True Ending means completing the In the Hall of the Mountain King section, something many will never find and precious few will ever complete. (Debating whether I’m going to even try.) If Jon Blow wants you to trust that he’s going somewhere with this, he makes you wait a long time before finding out if it’s worth it. [EDIT: turns out the secret ending comes after a different set of obscure puzzles than Hall of the Mountain King.]

Which leads me back to my original conclusion: I am solving the puzzles because Jon Blow told me to.

I suspect the arc Jon wants is for me to begin solving puzzles because I want to know what they’re in service of, what point Jon is trying to make, and then spend so long on them that I forget about the destination and just wrap myself up in the work, and, after dozens of hours on the hardest of the hard puzzles, Jon will finally reveal that the point he was making was about the labor I have just done. That he couldn’t tell me what it was for until I’d already done it. That the labor was its own reward. And how much you like The Witness is going to depend on whether or not you feel ripped off.

The overall impression The Witness left me with was less of meditation than discipline. (I have joked that playing The Witness feels like being in a D/s relationship with Jon Blow and not knowing the safe word.) Jon presents a simple concept and then expects you to solve every. single. permutation. of that concept. You do the work to find out what it’s about, and then what it’s about is the work. That game is about itself. The subject of The Witness is solving The Witness. It’s about purity of design, about simplicity, about slowly mastering a set of skills. (That these skills are neither inherently pleasurable to perform nor applicable in any other context seems not to matter; the point is, you learned them.) It’s hard not to read a game fixated on the beauty of its own design as all kinds of smug.

I allowed myself to be spoiled on the True Ending, and it seems, in the eleventh hour, if you draw lines til your fingers bleed, the game makes room for self-critique, questioning whether all this dedication to design actually is, in any way, meaningful or useful to us. Which, just a little bit, smacks of an artist spending two years making a sculpture of himself, chiseled to make him look a perfect Olympian beauty, only to label it “EGOISM.” Ooo. Make you think.

I suspect, in the end, I played it to (partial) completion because I was curious. I didn’t necessarily buy Jon Blow’s hype, but his hype is intriguing. As a portrait of a certain mindset, a monomaniacal obsession with design for design’s sake, the folk-religion of salvation through technology, and the critique of same, it is fascinating. I know people - smart people - who genuinely love this game, and, if the above is any indication, I clearly love talking about it. I have no regrets.

But, word of advice: if you don’t a) love the puzzles, or b) love the discourse, just walk away. Everything will be fine.

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico Season 2, Episode 6

- Okay...so I have now actually watched it...well mostly. There were some parts of my stream where the sound wasn’t synched. Unfortunately not that scene. Haha. 

- Let’s start with the positives...

- I actually think that overall it was kind of a fun episode. I liked the Isobel and Kyle stuff and I actually liked the Echo stuff even though I was less than thrilled about Max coming back and the Alex/Maria/Boot guy stuff wasn’t too terrible. And there was some good sibling scenes. So like...not bad. 

- I did think the whole beginning with Max and Isobel and Michael was super weird and was over WAAAY too quickly but hey I guess they had to get to a threesome there and so they had to cut corners on something....That said, angry, dark I’ve got death energy to expel Max is really not my favorite Max, so I guess it’s fine it was over quick but still...strange to build that up and then have it be over and done with in the first like three minutes. But okay...moving on. 

- The Max/Liz strand of the episode was actually super cute and actually made me ship them again so that was nice. My sound was messed up during the whole milkshake speech so that was sad but it was working again by the morning love confession, so cool. Max’s super stiff leather, looked like it had never been worn, jacket though...not a fan. That was horrible and I was happy every time he took it off. 

- The Isobel/Kyle stuff was fun. They do look good with sparkles, I agree. I mean it was pretty random and doesn’t totally make sense but I’m not mad at it. Who knows if it will lead anywhere. I do like the chemistry between Isobel and Kyle though, friend chemistry or otherwise. Kyle has chemistry with everyone though. 

- Except maybe Steph who is still so boring to me but...and my stream was off again, was that her on the operating table in that montage at the end? 

- The main thing I took from the Alex/Maria story was that it gave us confirmation that Alex does in fact know the full story about Rosa so...uh...thanks for finally putting that in there. Might have been nice to have a clue before that. 

- Also...I rolled my eyes sooo hard at the Vampire Diaries joke but also it made me really nostalgic for TVD, because while also trash, it was better trash. Just saying. Also...it would have been a Gilbert ring, Alex and would have prevented him from dying if killed by something supernatural. Get your references right! Haha. 

- I do think the whole boot maker lead was super random and didn’t really lead to much and I still think these stories need more urgency and stakes.

- Also weird that the Cam story was once again on the back burner not that I don’t sort of get it because they have too much going on.

- AND I was sad that Rosa was not in this episode. I want to see her exploding lightbulbs as she has feelings.

- Oh and baby Max at the end...ummm...okay? I guess I want to know more about that. Mostly, I want to understand the all white fashion trend. 

- Now...getting into the ranting part...

- I do have to say that it is important to actually watch stuff because how things are said matters. Because I read some of the dialogue earlier and I was like “What?!?!?!” and then it wasn’t that at all. So that made it all slightly better. Mostly the conversation Maria and Alex had in the car. 

- The threesome thing was still SUPER weird and really unnecessary?!?!? I just don’t really get the point of it. I guess the narrative purpose was to push Alex toward Forrest and cement Michael and Maria but like...was that needed? No. I’m pretty sure Alex could have actually left when they kissed and it would have served exactly the same purpose. And would have been way less horrific.

- I mean, this is the kind of thing I can usually just roll my eyes at and move on if I’m less invested. And I’m not as invested as I have been in other things so like...I’m fine. And trust me, I’ve been there before, so I get it for people who feel devastated and done with everything. I really do. 

- But I am invested enough that I’m just kind of baffled that this was a choice that the show/Carina made. Because it really does just undermine all three characters. And to be honest, this whole love triangle had been undermining all three characters from the start. So I guess it’s par for the course but this just made it worse. I agree with Evil Twin Jon Gilbert that “I hate love triangles” but especially this one. 

- I mean, Maria has been a weird spare part on this show from the start. It’s always been a problem. In relation to the original show character, they gave her friendship with Liz to Kyle/Rosa. They gave her alien mystery solving side to Kyle. And they largely gave her romance with Michael to Alex. And you could say she has a story of her own with her mother, but that’s really kind of Mimi’s story. Maria is just sort of facilitating it. It just feels very unfortunate because OG Maria was great. And this Maria could have been great too but they just took so much away from her. And so much of what she does get happens off screen. And so they tried to give some of it back. They stuck her in this dumb love triangle, which up until now has always just seemed like a roadblock for Malex and probably still is although it’s more complicated now I guess. And if she’s just a roadblock for Malex then that’s just shitty for her character and she should have something that’s hers and not just ultimately be in the way of another ship. And also every turn of it just kind of makes her look selfish and terrible. I mean, I don’t understand her motivations for the threesome at all. Other than that I’ve heard that it was some kind of weird manipulation of the situation to force Michael to choose which is...gross. She just doesn’t come out of it well and that’s sad. 

- And for Michael, it’s absolutely perpetuating bad bisexual stereotypes. As frustrating as the love triangle was, he was technically always broken up with Alex and for valid emotional reasons. So as annoying as it was and as lazy as it was, it was fine. But this is literally like “Okay here’s both of them at the same time cause you can’t choose”. It just doesn’t look good. Especially if it was supposed to be some kind of test. 

- And for Alex...to have him say earlier that being with a woman was him trying to disappear and then have him take part in this is just bizarre. I mean yes, they also had him say that kissing Maria was the first time he enjoyed touching someone which...um...okay...weird. Also feels like they shoved that in just to facilitate this later which is also kind of gross. It’s also just weird to have a very vocally self proclaimed gay man, sleep with a woman for whatever reason. Like...why? 

- And why do Malex need to break up in every episode? Everyone gets it. Couldn’t they at some point just be like “wow we really need to take some time apart and see other people and experience other relationships and work on just getting to know each other as friends and if we end up together then it was meant to be” and then they just go date Maria and Forrest and those can be legit relationships and then they can come back together later after suitable build up. 

- Of course that’s fine for Forrest because he’s a random side character but then it feels insulting to Maria because it’s clear she’s just an obstacle, which is why I hate that she’s a part of this dumb love triangle in the first place. 

- I also just hate the love triangle period with Malex because it just wasn’t needed. There’s so much potential there and so many layers of angst without adding in a main character as a third party. They could still both date other people and come back together without dragging Maria into it all. I feel like Carina just wanted to do this new thing with Malex because she didn’t want her Michael and Maria to have to compete with the OG M&M and then was like “oh no wait I can still do it but in this different super awesome way because epic love triangles are awesome and on all my favorite teen shows of the past” Except that this isn’t a teen show and that should be part of the point. 

- I just don’t get any of it and think it was mostly a bad idea. Well, the threesome definitely was. 

- I mean...it’s not enough to make me stop watching the show but I definitely am further disconnecting with that set of characters until they sort this nonsense out and decide where they’re going with it because right now they’re just making me not care because it doesn’t feel like they care about their own characters. 

[geek-gem]

That Brightburn Universe

As a heads up I made this on my phone. I decided to give it a title. Beware of spoilers from Brightburn if you haven’t seen the movie. But after watching Filmcomicsexplained’s video on the movie and thinking about my jokes about a universe. I wanted to make this. But also I wanted to give it a keep reading option so it doesn’t annoy people. Also since I put my thoughts about the kills. Forgot to mention @hawkofthenight99 and hope he doesn’t mind. Because he showed me the video and he might like in depth take on this idea. Including he’s one of the few people I’ve talked to about the film.

In all seriousness despite the joked. Including despite my mixed thoughts on Brightburn as a film. Watching/listening to Filmcomicsexplained's video of Brightburn reminded me of why I was very intrigued by the idea of a well darker DC universe.

Where it's basically a world of supers gone well super wrong. Even though with Brightburn being a horror film. I had this idea of the universe being a psychological look into what are basically parody versions of classic superheroes. But it's basically a what if universe.

Where Clark Kent instead of becoming Superman as a symbol of hope, a superhero. Became something much more villainous as what Brandon Breyer had become in Brightburn. That it's honestly a tragedy.

Such as the idea to make it less gloomy that the other Brightburn versions of popular superheroes aren't fully evil. But they are messed up in the head and need help. Such as if the death of Uncle Ben was too much for Peter Parker that he basically becomes in a way a Red Hood version of Spider-Man. Murdering criminals but still plagued by guilt and other emotions. That he believes what he's doing is the right thing.

With a Brightburn version of Batman because of what happened to his parents. Becomes sociopathic and truly believes in his cause. Where he has no problem with what he does to criminal empires. Despite how wrong it is. Compared to the Spider-Man of this universe who still had trouble with his emotions.

Including I've had this idea of Brightburn's Batman wanting to be a mentor to Brightburn's Spider-Man. Wanting to teach him to let go of the guilt but also use him as a way to kill Brandon Breyer. Because he views Brandon as like the ultimate evil. Basically a twisted version of Batman V Superman.

Also yes we have spoilers the witch that strangles people and the half man half sea creature referenced during the credits. Including the awesome fact that Super featuring The Crimson Bolt exists in this universe. A film I honestly really liked but might not be for everyone. I strangely wanna involve Frank Darbo somehow considering he's some what the start of this universe. Despite how tonally different Super is compared to Brightburn. I just find it amazing Frank exists in this universe.

Yet I will admit I just love the jokes that I've been thinking about. The idea that Brandon Breyer is a virgin and the Brightburn version of Darkseid is basically a Chad. Basically the virgin and Chad movie.

Where the Darkseid in this universe despite his hardships and how he could easily become this universe's embodiment of Satan. Decides of wanting to use his God like powers for the greater good. Which I've joked about him being a fusion if Jon Taffer, Gordon Ramsey, and Doomguy.

Including where Brightburn's Doomsday is despite being hidden from humanity by his parents because of the possibility of being taken away and killed. Including not looking very human. He's basically the kid that Tori and Kyle Breyer deserved. But also as a joke he's basically an immortal Big The Cat who doesn't like evil.

But yeah watching/listening to that video got me to remember my interest of this universe. Despite I was mixed on Brightburn. Because I'm glad Filmcomicsexplained shares the similar mindset of I do. In a way I was kind of expecting something like Joker 2019. Yet that was before Joker 2019 was released. But basically much more deeper and tragic. Because Brandon is a dark parallel to Clark Kent. A film version of what if Clark disregarded his humanity. Which is a concept that genuinely disturbs me because I like Superman as a character. Especially the DCEU version.

Now since I’m adding this while I’m in the drafts version of this on my main computer. Going to be honest, I felt uneasy and didn’t wanna see any death scenes shown in Filmcomicsexplained’s video. Except for the sheriff’s death which happens so quick but is still uneasy. But yeah because these kills just make me uneasy. Which sounds hypocritical considering I play games like Outlast, Resident Evil, and being fans of other things. But I think the reason why they make me uneasy is because again the concept of a Superman like character doing that. Besides I haven’t seen the film in a long time.

Even though I have other ideas like a Brightburn version of Joker. Basically something like if Arthur Fleck(yes that version) had a support system yet something happens along the way. Yet he's strangely a foil and an anti thesis to Brightburn's Batman. Where he makes again Brightburn's Batman question everything about what he's doing. But he won't kill Brightburn's Joker because he's not doing anything evil.

Just imagine a backwards version of that interrogation scene from The Dark Knight.

But I just wanna say this. Despite Brightburn being a horror film. I keep thinking if we make this a cinematic universe. To me I feel like it would be symbolic but also fitting. That it ends with Brandon's death. Whether to be killed by Brightburn's Doomsday or even Brightburn's Darkseid.

Basically as a twisted version of Zack Snyder's take of Superman. Instead about a villain who had done unspeakable things realizes how everything he's done has led him into enemies that show him he's no longer the super predator he was. Making him in a way regret everything evil thing he's done and making Brandon's end in a way tragic but also satisfying because he was basically the symbol and in a way a start to this universe. Despite the Crimson Bolt was.

I just wanted to make this and share my thoughts on this. Considering I was excited for the film but after it came out. I didn't really talk about it anymore. Just wanted to share my deep thoughts on it.

[i-am-beyoutiful]

Family Over Story: Asking Permission

HEY YOU GUYS!!! Sorry its been so long. I was watching an episode of NXT and my muse struck me like a brick! So I pumped this out. I hope you like it!. This story takes place before Kyle and Cecily get together officially. 

Read on AO3

Joe and Cecily were enjoying a nice night in at Cece’s chi-town apartment. The two had live shows coming up in the Midwest so it made sense to post up in Chicago and head out early to the venue. They had been in the house all day, vegging out and catching up on the shows they had missed. 

Joe had noticed his sister’s attention was on her cell phone almost every 2 minutes and he knew exactly why. Colby had brought this unusual attachment to her phone to his attention last week after the two had lunch. His younger brother brought up a plan to figure out who was texting their sister nonstop. Joe had tried to stop his younger brother from snooping but being across the country didn’t help the delivery of his threat. 

Kyle O’Reilly. The Marital Artist. One fourth of the Undisputed Era. Apparently, Kyle had his eye on Cece since she walked through the doors at the PC. That information is according to dad. Hunter had mentioned someone having Cece’s undivided attention and her not knowing in the slightest. The person with the real scoop was Jon. Cece always confided in Jon about everything but when it came to boys Jon and his brothers had a pact. Any information about guys that are on their sisters radar was traded in a private three-way group chat. 

Kyle and Cece had meet when she came to the PC to be a guest coach with the female trainees. The girls were learning a lot from her but Cecily was able to catch up with some old friends. One of those friends was Adam Cole. Adam and Cecily had met backstage at a ROH show and hit it off. Cece was pretty stoked when Adam came to NXT along with Kyle and Bobby. The four were regularly seen hanging out with the other talent in the PC. 

Jon didn’t know how or when the relationship between Cece and Kyle changed but Renee seems to think it was the night of Halloween. The two were apart of a whole crew of wrestlers going to Horror nights to celebrate the holiday. The two split off from the group when they all wanted to go into a house that Cece wasn’t feeling. She was gonna check out the Academy of Villains show by herself but Kyle offered to go with her. When they met up with the group again, the air between the two changed. 

As Cecily’s phones went off again, Joe shook his head at how fast she grabbed it. After sending a response back, Cecily turned to her brother, smile almost permanently etched on her face.

“We should probably eat some real food.” Cecily got up and walked towards the kitchen. 

“That’s probably a good idea.” Joe stood and stretched, loosening muscles after sitting for so long. Joe made a move to follow Cecily but the door bell ringing stopped him. 

“Could You Get That!!!” Cece hollered from the kitchen. 

“Sure!” Joe yelled back. He approached the door and before opening he heard the voices of multiple men standing on the other side. Joe looked thru the peephole and the sight on the other side made him smirk. As he opened the door, he was greeted by the Undisputed Era. Joe went to welcome them in but was silenced by Roderick Strong. Joe nodded in acknowledgement of their plans and let them in. All five boys brought in their bags of luggage as quietly as they possibly could. Somehow, Cecily didn’t come over to see who was at the door. This gave the boys of the undisputed era a chance to sneak behind her and give her a surprise. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Joe! Who was at the door?” Cecily rummaged thru her refrigerator, looking for ingredients to make some type of food for them both. The house went quiet when Joe answered the door and Cece was a bit worried. 

“I may have the things we need to make some tacos tonight if that’s what yo--- OH MY GOD!!!!!” Cecily turned away from the fridge to the sight of unexpected guests. There, in her kitchen, stood Adam, Roddy, Bobby and Kyle. The undisputed era of NXT. Cecily was so stunned, the means to make words weren’t connecting in her brain. Adam smirks at the sight of his friend absolutely speechless. 

“Well boys, we’ve done the impossible! We managed to shock Cecily into speechlessness.” All the boys begin to laugh and Cecily finally regains her composure. She rushes over and wraps Adam in a huge hug. 

“What are you guys doing here!!! Kyle told me you guys were headed to your next live show.” Cecily pulled the other three boys into hugs of their own, staying in Kyle’s arms longer than the others. 

“We are. We just never told you the city. The live show is here the day after tomorrow. We just flew out early to surprise you.” Bobby explained. 

Cecily shook her head, “Well I guess I have to order some food now cause I have five wrestlers to feed. While I order, you guys can take your bags to the other guest room. Joe, could you bring out my air mattress and just set it out in the living room.” It was like a switch flicked because suddenly Cecily was in house guest mode. Taking care of everyone and making sure everyone was comfortable. Cecily spent almost fifty dollars on tacos and side dishes for everyone to enjoy from her favorite Mexican spot. The conversation at the dinner table flowed easily. From stories about their first times hitting the mat, to favorite old PPV’s, to whose the best competitions. After dinner, the six settled down to watch The Fast and The Furious on Netflix. For Joe, it was strange how well they all got along together but then again being a wrestler gives you a strange camaraderie with anyone else who has stepped thru the ropes and taken a bump. 

As the movie wrapped up, Cecily went upstairs to take a shower and change into her pajamas and the boys were left in silence. Joe could tell the other three members of UDE giving urging looks to Kyle. Joe noticed the levels of panic crossing Kyle’s face as he glanced between his brothers in arms and Joe. Joe smirked and decided the push the conversation along. 

“Is there something you need to ask me?” Joe, purposely making his voice sound deeper, took a sip of his corona before setting the bottle on the table. Kyle looked spooked while his friends all tried to contain their laughter. And how could they, Their friend was entering the lions den in front of their faces. Joe stood and took a seat in the arm chair facing Kyle. 

“I--Well, I w-was wondering-” Kyle started but Joe interrupted. 

“Let me stop you right there, boy, cause I got questions for you.” Joe leaned back and crossed his arms. Kyle took a visible deep breath. He should have known this wasn’t gonna be easy. He was trying to date a girl with three huge older brothers, Two parents who both happen to own the business he works for, and a roster full of men ready to defend her at any time. If Kyle made one wrong move and upset Cecily, he was a goner. Kyle braced himself for the verbal lashing he was gonna receive. 

“What is the best outfit you have ever seen her in?” Joe asked. 

wait....what?

“Wait, That’s your question?” Kyle was officially baffled. 

“Naw man, that’s not my question. Its Colby’s. During the movie I texted them and the three of us came up with three questions that will prove if you are good enough for our sister. Since they can’t be here in person, it was decided that I’ll as for them. So, Kyle, What is the best outfit you have ever seen my sister in?” Joe asked once again, waiting patiently the answer. 

Kyle sat dumbfounded on the couch. He couldn’t believe that was the question Colby chose to ask. His brain automatically ran through the outfits Cecily had worn around him, the boys or her friends. His brain settled on a memory that still brings a small smile to his face. 

Kyle faced Joe and spoke up, “One night, Cece showed up at an NXT taping and she was helping out her dad. I think we all know, when it comes to a show day, Cecily is showing up as comfortable as she can unlike some of the other women. She was wearing the leggings with Joker laugh printed on them, a purple sports bra and a off the shoulder sweater.” Kyle let out a little laugh as the memory replayed in his head, “It was the first time I’ve ever seen a girl and instantly stopped everything I was doing to take in how beautiful she looked.” Kyle glanced back at Joe to see his jaw clenching before taking a look at his phone. Joe sent a message out then looked at Kyle again. 

“Next question, How would you react should Cecily want to leave WWE to pursue acting full time?” Joe stared at Kyle without blinking. The stare was freaking Kyle out. 

Not more so than the thought of not seeing Cecily around the WWE again. He knew how important acting, singing and dancing was to Cece. It was her bread and butter. He knew all about Jon bringing her into the family business and training his sister personally to catch her up. The turn around for her training to being in ring ready was remarkable. Picturing a time where he was watching Raw and not seeing her was disconcerting. 

Kyle took a deep breath before answering, “I won’t lie. I don’t want her to leave. I wanna go out to the ring, know she’s watching me and for her to know that I do the same every time she’s out there. But Cece is her own women and I know Hollywood was her first love. I guess I’ll have to get used to being on flights more often in order to see her on my days off.” Kyle nodded his head, agreeing with his answer. Joe nodded back, trying to hold off on looking impressed until the end. 

Joe cracked his knuckles and spoke, “Last question, Tell me five things you know about her that I might not know about my sister.” Joe leaned forward once again putting Kyle in the spotlight. Kyle looked incredibly shaken. How could he know anything that Cecily’s own older brother didn’t know. His head told him it was time to throw in the towel but his heart told him to give the question a shot. He looked at his friends. They all shared amused looks at what was unfolding in front of them. Kyle cracked his neck before answering. 

“She doesn’t drink coffee, she’s just naturally that energized in the morning. Once she’s up, she’s up for the day. She carries a fidget cube around with her because she’s always had a problem with fidgeting since she was a kid. She loves the smell of coconut but not the taste. She won’t touch anything with baked fruit.” Kyle took a pause before his last point. 

Kyle had one more but he didn’t know if it should be said. Cecily told him this during one of her rare low moments, remembering the past. Kyle wrestled back and forth before finally speaking, “Sometimes, she wonders why Colby and not herself. Why wasn’t she chosen to be the bad guy. Was it because of her size or did her parents not want her around. I always try to tell her that all that happened for a reason. Without it, Dean and Damage wouldn’t have been the standard bearers on Smackdown during the brand split.” Kyle didn’t want to look up at Joe after that but he did. Kyle glanced at Joe’s eyes and saw disbelief. Joe was stunned. All was quiet for a moment as Joe took the information in. 

“S-she told you that?” Joe demanded an answer without saying. Kyle nodded not wanting to make any sudden moves. Joe shook his head, typed something on his phone and stood up. He approached Kyle and the latter stood up, hoping to defend himself a little, but all that was held out to him was a hand. Kyle did a double take between the hand and Joe face before finally returning the gesture. 

Joe gave a genuine smile, “You’re the only one we’ve met whose given the answers we’re looking for. Myself and my brothers can’t guarantee how our dad will react but you got our approval. Just don’t hurt my sister.” Kyle shook his head quickly. 

“I would never.” Joe smiled again. He grabbed his half empty beer and walked toward the stairs, “I’m gonna head to bed. If you need anything just come get me. Cecily can’t stay awake after a shower no matter how hard she tries. See you in the morning boys.” Joe walked up the stairs leaving the UDE alone. Adam was the first to clap a hand on Kyle’s shoulder and shake him. 

“Congrats you passed the big brother test! How do you feel, O’Reilly?” Adam jokingly asked. 

“Man I don’t know how I’m gonna make it thru her dad. Like, if Jon and Colby were here too, I would have passed out no joke.” The other three boys laugh at Kyle’s response. The sound fading as Joe went upstairs.

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Joe went to check on his sister to see if she was sleep. Cecily was half laying under the covers and the other half completely exposed to the cold air. Joe adjusted her and tucked her in. Before leaving, Joe placed a kiss on her forehead. Joe was almost out the door when his name was called. He turned to see Cece blearily looking in his direction. Cecily was smiling at him. 

“I love you tuagane*.” Joe smiled, an understanding passing thru the siblings. 

“Love you too tuafafine**. Get some sleep.” Joe winked and closed the door behind him. 

If the next day he noticed Kyle sitting a little closer to his sister than yesterday, well the brothers only promised to keep their mouths shut until they became official. As soon as Cece got the girlfriend title, all bets were off and may the heckling begin. 

------------------------------------------

* - Samoan for brother. Used when a female is referring to her brother

** - Samoan for sister. Used when a male is referring to his sister. 

[bongaboi]

Florida: 2019 Orange Bowl Champions

The Orange Bowl between No. 9 Florida and No. 24 Virginia may not have been the most anticipated New Year's Six game when it was announced. However, it turned into an entertaining game of back-and-forth momentum swings with a little Las Vegas drama at the end to boot. Ultimately, the Gators walked away winners with a 36-28 final score. The victory moves Florida to 4-0 in the Orange Bowl all-time and gives it an 11-win season for the first time since 2012.

Monday night was also the Gators' best bowl performance of the decade offensively. They finished 549 yards of offense, the most since the 2010 Sugar Bowl against Cincinnati -- Tim Tebow's final game. Additionally, it gives Florida consecutive BCS/New Year's Six bowl wins for the first time in a decade (2008-09), making coach Dan Mullen the first coach in history to accomplish that task in his first two years at a school.

It also puts the team at 21-5 in two seasons under coach Mullen. Only Urban Meyer had a better record in his initial back-to-back seasons in Gainesville, Florida.

"Just under a year ago, this team was born, and we talked about going from four wins to 10 wins was special, but to go from 10 wins to 11 is going to be a lot harder, and those guys bought into it," Mullen said after the game. "They started working last January, and they worked, they grinded all season long in everything that they did. ... A couple years ago, this senior class, a new coach got brought in and we told them, 'Hey, if you buy into what we're doing, just buy into what we're doing, believe we're going to be successful.' They've done that, they've bought in. Back-to-back 10-win seasons, back-to-back top-10 teams, back-to-back New Year's Six bowl victories. They've bought in, and they've restored that Gator standard, and they get to walk out the door knowing they've restored the Gator standard to what it is, building that foundation of a team."

Gators quarterback Kyle Trask, who was tremendous in place of Feleipe Franks this season, was a little shaky in the game, completing 24 of 39 passes for 305 yards, a touchdown to running back Lamical Perine and an interception; Trask also nearly fumbled the ball, but the play was not overturned on review. Trask's numbers weren't necessarily bad, but a lot of his downfield throws were erratic. It was a good thing for the Gators to have a more reliable weapon in Perine.

"I think this win is huge for this program, not only for the program but also this team and the seniors that bought in when Coach Mullen first got here from Day 1," Trask said. "They worked day in and day out, and as far as my season went, I couldn't be more happy the way that my teammates had my back when I won versus Kentucky, and we just continued to grind every single week and get better each and every single week and here we are winning the Orange Bowl. That's pretty incredible."

While the game was close at times, the only real drama of the night came at the end when the game was pretty much in hand. With under a minute remaining, the Wahoos attempted a trick play by passing to an offensive lineman for a score. The play was called back, though, as an illegal forward pass. Still, Virginia scored two plays later, and while it didn't get the win, it secured the cover.

Here's what else we learned from Monday's Orange Bowl.

1. The Gators decided to run, and Perine was unstoppable: Three of Florida's four touchdowns on the evening came from Perine, a valued senior who totaled 181 yards on 18 touches -- just about 10 yards per touch -- and three touchdowns to receive Most Valuable Player honors. Perine has long been one of the most underrated (and perhaps underutilized) parts of Florida's offense, and he was absolutely untouchable against the Hoos on Monday night running for a career-high 138 yards with 43 more in the passing game. Who knows where Perine will go during the NFL Draft weekend. He may not hear his name called for a while. But he's one of those players who probably meant more to his offense than the stats indicated. He accomplished all of this behind a Gators offensive line that struggled mightily throughout the season, unable to create holes for its rushers. It appeared to step up as well.

2. Florida's defense turned it on for a short while: The first 30 minutes of the Orange Bowl was like a tennis match. Each team was volleying points back and forth waiting to see who would blink first. For a vaunted Florida defense, that didn't seem ideal. However, credit the Gators for drawing up some good halftime adjustments and having a bigger impact in the second half. The pass rush was good most of the night but certainly more effective both on and off the stat sheet in the third and fourth quarters. Florida finished with three sacks, five tackles for loss and two quarterback hurries. Virginia countered Florida's defensive front in the first half with quick passes and a moving pocket with successful results. UVA QB Bryce Perkins even made a few incredible individual plays in the face of that rush. But when it needed stops and negative plays, Florida came through and built a large enough lead that it was able to hang on to a lead late. However, it did ultimately give up 375 yards of total offense, including Perkins' best passing game.

"I'm looking at what they've got coming back. ... I'm excited. I mean, this is only just the beginning of it, honestly," said graduate transfer Jon Greenard, who showed out in his final game. "Last year was a little taste of it. We keep building. We got 11 wins, which is really difficult. So next year, a couple plays this year and we would've been right where we wanted. Next year, they are just going to capitalize off of that, understand where we were this past year, and national championship in my eyes. So we've got that in our eyes now."

3. Perkins will be missed at Virginia: The Hoos' signal caller will be an interesting late-round/undrafted prospect, but there's no denying what he's meant to this program. It took him all 60 minutes, but he broke the school's record for total offense career with 7,910 yards. The mark was previously held by quarterback Shawn Moore. That's pretty incredible in and of itself, but even more so when you consider all the problems Virginia had up front this season. For Perkins to be able to rack up yards running and throwing, usually in the face of pressure, says a lot about his playmaking ability. He didn't have a perfect night against Florida -- he missed a couple of surefire touchdowns that he'd love to have back -- but he also did things like this on his way to 323 yards passing with four touchdowns and an interception.

4. This is why conference tie-ins should be removed: Virginia played hard, gave Florida a game and has nothing to be ashamed about, but let's be honest: a four-loss team shouldn't be playing in a New Year's Six game. Conference tie-ins don't always produce bad matchups in these major bowl games, but in a year like this one when the ACC was average at best, you get this type of result. It wasn't bad, per se, but it could have been a lot better. So what's the solution? Ditch the tie-ins and use the College Football Playoff Rankings to help determine the games? It's interesting that there's so much disdain for the CFP Selection Committee in terms of their selection criteria for the field of four, because you could actually make an argument their process would be better suited for drumming up interesting matchups in these games without being held back by conference tie-ins.

[batboys-batboys-whachu-gonna-do]

OK, but hear me out:

Grown up Damian with a soft spot for kids.

We all know that as a kid he was brat that didn't understand why kids his age acted like...well, kids...but when he grows up I think he would act differently. It all starts when on a stake out he finds a completely scared child, Thomas, hiding, looking so broken that Damian only feels rage towards the person that caused this.

And as we know him, he probably doesn't know how to emotionally help the child even if he wants, so his reaction after doing the best he could is to investigate(the ever perfectionist)

The first one to notice is Tim. They're heading out of the WE building to eat out or something, and while crossing the street he just stops realizing that Damian isn't by his side, but holding a crying 5yo boy, Dany. The child lost his mom in the crowd, but Damian calmed him surprisingly fast, talking to him softly and looking super hot while at it (but you didn't hear that from Tim)

They find the baby boy's mom in the other side of the road, almost going crazy. She looks so relieved and runs to them, but before handing the boy to his mom Damian boops his nose. The baby giggles and Damian just smiles and waves when they say their goodbyes.

The second person to notice is Jon. They're on a mission and the situation is very tight, the bad guys are everywhere and they're about violently intervene, but then Jon sees something weird: There's a little girl in the room, hardly 8 years old, unconscious. He looks at Damian, his face is completely unreadable as he demands "What is her heart rate, Superboy?" He sounds strangled, uneasy. "She's alive, just unconscious," he answers as Damian makes saving the girl the only goal of the mission, almost forgetting to hold back while fighting.

The infamus Red Hood finds out when they finish patrol one night, it has been rough. They found the boy covered in blood, in one of the houses of the suspect. They didn't expect what they found and it only made the whole situation worse. They didn't know what the man was doing and he was sure Damian was blaming himself while rocking protectively the boy in his arms. He was maybe 11, he looked so little... like he hadn't eaten in days.

Robin was quick, he called the police right away and the paramedics. Normally, they'd be gone by that moment, vigilantism wasn't legal after all, but Damian refused completely to leave. Robin stayed until they found his family and informed everything the boy told him to the paramedics, making them promise him that the kid, Kyle, would get the help he needed.

Dick and Bruce finally realize in a Gala, when one of the guests decides that it'd be fun to bring 2 year old Mathias with them. Around midnight he's starts crying so loudly that his father excuses them for a while, but when they come back Mat starts crying again. Tim looks at Damian intently, but he doesn't notice because he's observing the baby.

A pair of glasses cling in the room and the baby immediately jerks his head to the sound, and that's all Damian needs.

"Drake, car keys" he says, putting his hand in front of Tim. That's unexpected...but the moment Damian glances at the baby again and then at him smiling he just can't say no. With the keys in hand and a few steps he reaches the baby. It takes a almost ten minutes to make him stop crying but as soon as he's calmed, Damian smiles and asks to hold him. The rest of the night is filled with childish giggles as well as with deep laughs, and stolen glances from the former vigilantes. Tim smiles to himself when Damian and Mat approach him, with a burst of something warm and loving in his gut when Damian says, "This is Tim, say hi."

When Mat starts to get sleepy he whispers in Damian's ear, "he's pretty" and Damian can't help but agree.

At the distance, Bruce and Dick watch feeling so old but so happy and proud at the same time.

Of course Alfred, standing even farther, can't wait to be great grandfather.

[dibs4ever]

Back in time (Fanfiction)

Heres a little piece of a fanfiction I wrote a while back. Not my best work but I thought it kinda fit today's theme in some areas

Basically, 16 year old Dick and Babs get sent back in time, 15 year old Bruce has just invited them to come to the circus with him. They have lied about their names as to not risk changing the future

Bruce left the room to go get ready for the night out leaving Barbara and Dick alone in the room, "Are you’re going to be okay tonight?" She asked

Dick gave her a small smile "Yeah, I think I'll be okay"

Barbara rested a hand on Dick’s arm "I can come up with an excuse for us to stay if you'd like, I'll make it my fault" she assured him

Dick shook his head "I'll be okay, besides it's not like they'll be how I remember them, my dad, uncle and Aunt are the Flying Grayson's act right now and my mom is part of the contortionist act" he explained

Barbara looked up at him "You never told me your mom was a contortionist"

Dick smiled and looked up in thought "Yeah, from what I remember my parents telling me she was part of that act until she married my dad then she became a Flying Grayson, I don't know much about them from when they were younger since I was so young when they died" he looked down again

Barbra gave a sad smile "Let's change the subject ...How about that Miss. Kyle Alfred was talking about inviting, you don't think it's Selina Kyle do you?" She asked

Dick picked his head up and shot her a grin "I was thinking the same thing, that would be funny wouldn't it, or maybe a little creepy considering how weird their relationship is in our time" he said

They didn't get to finish their conversation because at that time Bruce entered the room he had changed into a grey button up dress shirt and black dress pants "Alfred is almost done with dinner if you want to go to the dining room" Bruce pointed toward the dining room.

After dinner they all climbed into the car, Dick and Barbara sat in the 3rd-row seats while Bruce sat in the second row, Alfred drove "Were stopping to pick up a friend of mine before we get there" Bruce informed them as they pulled into an alleyway and up to an abandoned building.

"Shall I honk the horn or will you be going in to get her Master B" Alfred asked bringing the car to a stop

"I'll go get her," Bruce said exiting the vehicle,

"So Alfred has Bruce been friends with this girl for long?" Dick said trying to draw information from Alfred

Alfred looked at Dick from the rearview mirror "Well Mister Donnie, they've known each other for a few years I'm not exactly sure what she and Master Bruce's relationship is, but I just go with it because other than her the only other people he associates with are adults" he explained

Dick nodded and sat back in his seat suddenly Barbara jumped and began patting his arm repeatedly "It is her" she whispered Dick leaned over Barbra and looked out the window to see Bruce walking a few steps behind a young girl who resembled Selina Kyle a lot. Bruce attempted to open the door for her but she swatted his hand out of the way and opened it herself. When she opened the door she looked slightly surprised to see them in there as they climbed into the car 

Selina darted her head to Bruce "This isn't a double date Bruce is it?!" How many times do I have to tell you we are not dating" she grumbled

Bruce shook his head "You only told me that one time and no it isn't they are travelers, their car was stolen and they had no place to go so Alfred and I invited them to stay at the manor until they're able to return home" Bruce defended

"He's telling the truth were just friends too," Barbara said thumbing a finger at her and Dick

Selina shifted her eyes between the two of them "Becky Gain" Barbara told her extending a hand

Selina looked at her hand but didn't shake it "Selina Kyle" she told her then looked over at Dick "And who are you"

Dick had been in a daydream stance since Selina Kyle aka the future Catwoman was sitting in front of him he blinked his eyes and refocused his attention "I'm Donnie Gowns" he told her he extended his hand as well, but Selina didn't shake his hand either.

After arriving at the Circus Alfred informed them that he would be back when it was over to pick them up since they were about 2 hours early they were able to walk around for a bit. They walked in pairs Bruce with Selina then Dick and Barbara a few feet behind them

 "This is so weird, I know Bruce knew Selina before I was around but I didn't realize he knew her before he was Batman" Dick whispered gesturing to the pair in front of them

"Shhh don't say that name so loud, you don't want to risk them asking who Batman is, who knows what that could mess up" Barbara hushed him

Selina turned to look at them, Dick gulped hoping she hadn't heard their conversation "Do you two mind if we split up?" She asked with a hand on her hip

Bruce held a hand up "Selina I told you we can't just leave them they don't know their way around Gotham"

Selina ignored his statement and continued to talk to Dick and Barbara "I'm sure Donnie and Becky can care for themselves Bruce" she rolled her eyes

Dick nodded his head "We don't mind Bruce, we can meet back in our seats when the show starts" Dick assured seeing an opportunity to talk openly with Barbara

Bruce looked at Barbara "Are you sure it's okay?" He asked

She nodded "Of course well be fine" Barbara assured him

Selina turned back to Bruce "See I told you they wouldn't care, you worry way too much about other people now come on rich boy" she walked ahead of him Bruce gave them an awkward wave and followed after her.

"So this is what the behind the scenes of a circus looks like?" Barbara said as they walked

Dick smiled "Yup it pretty much looks like it did when I grew up here" he looked around at all the trailers

"Back to the situation at stake, how exactly are we going to get back to the future?" She asked

Dick thought " Well that all depends if ..." he was cut off when Barbara was pushed into him by someone falling into her.

Barbara looked over to see a guy probably about 18 in an all-black leotard with small triangles all over it in rainbow colors, he had jet black hair and big hazel eyes, his face had a chiseled look to it and a cleft chin, she immediately took note of how undeniably handsome he was.

The guy pushed himself up and stood to face Barbara "Sorry about that, I was practicing my new routine that's premiering tonight, the grounds a little uneven and it threw off my balance" the guy said shooting her a familiar smirk that Barbara recognized immediately "Of course you don't care about that" he let out a slight chuckle "Does a beautiful girl like yourself have a name?" the guy asked sending her a wink and sticking out his hand

'Wow now I see who Dick gets it from' Barbara thought she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks "Ummm Bar- I mean Becky Gain" she smiled and took his hand

Instead of shaking her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it gently "I'm Jon, Jon Grayson, it's nice to meet you, I need to get back to warm ups, I hope you enjoy the show" he winked and stepped away from her

Once he was away she turned to Dick a stunned expression on both their faces "My dad just hit on you..." Dick said in a monotone voice shocked from what happened

Barbara was slightly embarrassed that Dick had seen the interaction but she didn't want him to know that, so instead she decided to mess with him she looked over and grinned at him "Now I know who you get it from" she nudged him as they began walking again

Dick chuckled and looked at her "Hey I'm not that bad am I?" He acted hurt

She laughed and shook her head "Maybe not all the time, but you definitely got that cute smirk of yours from him" she smiled

They both stopped when she realized what she had said "You think my smirk is cute?" He asked sending her the smirk in question

She rolled eyes "Shouldn't we be getting to our seats?" she asked not answering his question

Dick looked at his watch the teenage Bruce had loaned him, realizing she was right he nodded "Yeah Bruce and Selina should be there by the time we get there " he said they turned and made their way to the big top tent

[thesportssoundoff]

3 am late March Mock Draft Madness

Joey

March 21st

Up early, looking for something to do. Decided to do a mock draft! Click inside for the goods;

1) Cleveland Browns- QB Sam Darnold, USC

John Dorsey drafted Pat Mahomes with Alex Smith as a one year short term stopgap solution in KC and faces a similar chance with the top pick Cleveland Browns. With Tyrod Taylor as a "get competitive!" holdover, Darnold is your guy who waits in the wings. In an ideal world/perfect scenario, this is the modern day Kitna to Carson Palmer transition.

2) New York Giants- QB Josh Rosen, UCLA

I don't believe the Giants at this point in time would take a QB at 2 but somebody is going to make a move and give up heaven and Earth to get their QB. Josh Rosen is ready to play now and while I don't see all pro QB, I think he can be a starter for a long time for some team. We've seen other teams amass picks to get value (Tennessee mainly) and the Giants might be best suited to replicate the concept with the #2 pick.

3) New York Jets- QB Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma

The Jets made a move up to 3 which says one of two things; 1) they got desperate/jumpy and jumped up figuring they can grab one of their top 3 QBs or 2) they have some sort of unspoken word about the Giants NOT trading and NOT wanting a QB. In this scenario, they snag Baker Mayfield who really brings everything the Jets haven't had in some time. He's their chance at a swagger induced QB who can completely change the tone of a franchise. It's been rumored they REALLY REALLY like Josh Allen (and the Mike Maccagnan profile QB is normally the prototypical big armed big bodied passer) but I have to believe this is where Mayfield goes. If you're moving up to grab Josh Allen, you're moving up to grab someone else's QB.

4) Cleveland Browns- CB Denzel Ward, Ohio State

Once Cleveland gets their franchise QB (in theory), all bets are off on what they could do next. Bad teams with needs everywhere have the benefit of drafting purely BPA because BPA fills a need no matter where you take it. Quenton Nelson and Sanquan Barkley will be in the discussion for some but it's worth remembering Jon Dorsey has had a ton of success with mid round RBs. Denzel Ward is by far the best DB in this draft class no matter how tall he is or isn't.

5) Denver Broncos- RB Sanquan Barkley, Penn State

The Broncos offense suddenly becomes fun and complex. With locked in WRs Damariyus Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders plus Case Keenum in the midst of what most will hope to be a career long renaissance, the Broncos COULD take a QB here but instead opt to grab "the best player in the draft" according to most. Barkley helps transform and reconfigure a Broncos offense in need of an identity boost.

6) Indianapolis Colts- DE Bradley Chubb, North Carolina State

Easy enough I suppose. Thought about Quenton Nelson here and there's a good chance that Indy will move out of this spot but Matt Eberflus has a profile on DEs, a profile I'm familiar with given his time as the Cowboys linebacker coach. Bradley Chubb was a true combine hero at 6'4 270 lbs and has the ability to transform a talentless Indianapolis defense overnight.

7) Tampa Bay Buccaneers- S Derwin James, Florida State

Speaking of Combine guys, Derwin James! James to Tampa Bay feels like such an easy fit to match up; a star defender who can play a variety of spots right away. James was rusty recovering from ACL surgery but the NFL is going to get the best version of Derwin which could mean Eric Berry-esque potential. If ya don't believe me then check his athletic profile and who it comps to.

8) Chicago Bears- OG Quenton Nelson, Notre Dame

The Bears have their franchise QB and now need to build around him. They spent in free agency to build a team that could help Mitchell Trubinski in his development and Matt Nagy comes from Kansas City where the offense, at its peak, was all about giving your QB time and allowing him to play quick and loose. Quenton Nelson is the "safest prospect in the draft" (the CURSE OF THE SAFEST PROSPECT!) and immediately replaces Josh Sitton. It's not a "sexy" pick but he would immediately make Chicago better and allow for guys like Taylor Gabriel, Allen Robinson, Trey Burton and Chicago's ridiculous RB corps to do work.

9) Miami Dolphins*- QB Lamar Jackson, Louisville

I feel safe in saying that some team will sneak up to 9 or so and grab the last remaining QB of value. John Lynch doesn't mind moving picks or trading around to get the guys he needs and some team (Buffalo/Arizona/Washington?) will come calling to this spot. Lamar Jackson is only not a QB if you're an dull mind when it comes to what a QB should be able to do. I'm going with Maimi to move up a smidge and get Lamar Jackson after Tannehill ended back to back seasons on the shelf.

10) Oakland Raiders- LB Roquan Smith, Georgia

Not since MAGA and the Angry Video Game Nerd has a movement so focused on bringing us back into the past been thrust upon us. Jon Gruden has said he wants to bring football back to 1998 and his big money deals respective to position to a long snapper and a fullback (Keith Smith is a great dude and a fantastic story about triumphing vs adversity so he deserves every penny) have helped us see what that means. Roquan Smith helps us further go back to 1998 with a top 10 pick for a fantastic Tampa-2 esque linebacker at the WLB spot. Smith can do it all despite his lack of elite height and could play weak or middle for Oakland.

11) San Francisco 49ers- CB-FS Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama

Fitzpatrick is my guess for the early round 1 slider although really good corners tend to go early. 9ers can get a guy who can play in their base defense at either corner or S depending on how things shake out in FA with Eric Reid.

12) Buffalo Bills- DE-OLB Harold Landry, Boston College

This is basically who I imagine the 49ers would take at a spot like this. The 9ers had SERIOUS pass rush problems in 2017 and with a young QB and a developing hip offensive scheme under Kyle Shanahan, a key pass rusher would be a great idea. If not? Buffalo could always use pass rush help right? Riiiiiight?

13) Washington Redskins- DT Vita Vea, Washington

I'd reaaaally hate this as a Cowboys fan. Vita Vea in Washington would be scary when you combine DL guru Jim Tomsula with a physical freak like him at the nose.

14) Green Bay Packers- LB Marcus Davenport, UTSA

Pass rushers are a premium, nothing else will be said as often as that statement throughout April. The Packers really need help on defense and a guy like Marcus Davenport who has traditional rushed out of a 2 point stance will be of interest to them for sure. Davenport also did himself plenty of favors with a fantastic combine.

15) Arizona Cardinals- QB Josh Allen, Wyoming

The Cardinals are almost guaranteed to do some moving and shaking come draft time and I'd bet for sure they don't pick here. They lack a lot of the draft capital to move up (just 5 picks) so they could go backwards OR they could use 2019 picks to go FORWARDS and take a QB. Either way, pencil in a QB at this spot if they stick around. Sam Bradford is bound to break something eventually.

16) Baltimore Ravens- WR Calvin Ridley, Alabama

Ozzie Newsome and Alabama. Ridley and Crabtree give you maybe one last gasp with Flacco at the helm of the Ravens offense.

17) San Diego Chargers- LB Tremaine Edmunds, Virginia Tech

So close, Cowboys fans. Edmunds flirts with taking a big drop to 19 but is gone at 17. Can play ILB or OLB in the Chargers 3-4 scheme with elite rushers like Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram around him.

18) Seattle Seahawks- OT Mike McGlinchey, Notre Dame

For the love of God please help Russell Wilson.

19) Dallas Cowboys- WR D.J Moore, Maryland

The Cowboys seemingly will focus their efforts on two spots early; WR and LB. Anybody outside of those two positions will fall under either a best case (elite talent slides) or a worst case (wiped out at the two spots) mentality. The Cowboys might like Ridley more but DJ Moore is the better athlete and flat out better fit in their offense.

20) Detroit Lions- RB Derrius Guice, LSU

The signing of LaGarrette Blount doesn't prevent Detroit from further collecting help for Matt Stafford. The Lions are chasing the Vikings in their division and will have to contend with Minnesota's defense---so why not double up on great running backs? OL and DL help are a priority as well.

21) Cincinnati Bengals- OL Connor Williams, Texas

If you remove the fact that he weighed in under 300 lbs, Connor Williams had himself quite the combine. New Bengals OL coach Frank Pollack values OL who can scoot and jump, two things Williams excelled at at the Combine. The question is whether he's a guard or a tackle BUT I figure Cincy will have to figure that out themselves.

22) Buffalo Bills- WR Courtland Sutton, SMU

Bills need additional help at the WR spot. The Alshon Jeffery comps are apt with Sutton who will need time but can grow to be a #1 WR. Low floor, high ceiling in the case of the 6'3 Sutton.

23) Los Angeles Rams- OLB Arden Key, LSU

The Rams have acquired plenty of back end talent for this defense en flux and also moved on from linebackers. Arden Key, if focused/healthy, is the sort of guy who can transition this defense to the next level. He comes with questions across the board but he can rush the passer and Wade Phillips, having seen him work with Spencer and Ware, knows how to unlock talented edges.

24) Carolina Panthers- TE Hayden Hurst, South Carolina

The best all around TE in the draft for a team that's going to have to come to grips with the end of the Greg Olsen Era.

25) Tennessee Titans- LB Rashaan Evans, Alabama

The general consensus, from my research at least, is that it'll be defense for Tennessee. Torn between Leighton Vander Esch and Rashaan Evans, I opted for the more consistent higher floor thumper MLB type.

26) Atlanta Falcons- DT Da'Ron Payne, Alabama

Back to back Bama Bros! Payne was largely unproductive in college, to an almost laughable degree, but tested out really well at the Combine and might just be a case of the scheme stifling the player. He'll immediately give Grady Jarrett some help on the interior of the Falcons DL plus with Takk McKinley and Vic Beasley on the edge, the Falcons can really give OL hell.

27) New Orleans Saints- LB Leighton Vander Esch, Boise State

A fella with the name and look of a guy who Bruce Willis fights in a Die Hard movie, Leighton Vander Esch reminds me a lot of Jaylon Smith at his time in ND. Big athletic flashes with some passiveness to his game especially in the run. Give him a year or two to bulk up and the Saints could have a stud linebacker to add to their already impressive young crop of defenders.

28) Pittsburgh Steelers- DT Maurice Hurst, Michigan

Really was stuck here. No major QB of note, not gonna be ballsy enough to grab a RB, they just added Morgan Burnett and there's no linebacker I really feel a liking for. The perfect 3-technique, Mo Hurst would give the Steelers some help at the 3-4 DE spot. Just didn't see a really good value spot here.

29) Jacksonville Jaguars- QB Mason Rudolph, Oklahoma State

This would be a great spot for Isaiah Wynn but the Jaguars spent on guards in free agency. A WR would be cool here too but  Mason Rudolph would give the Jaguars a developmental QB behind Blake Bortles who fits some of the rules and models that old school types like Tom Coughlin abide by (look up the BP rules on drafting QBs).

30) Minnesota Vikings- OL Isaiah Wynn, Georgia

This is big time value for the Vikings who get to continue to rebuild their offensive line. Wynn is one of the best technicians in the draft for OL.

31) New England Patriots- CB Jaire Alexander, Louisville

The Patriots traded for Jason McCourty and have Stephen Gilmore but depth doesn't hurt at corner, am I right? Jaire Alexander is a freakishly good corner and insane value at 31 if he can stay healthy and if you can overlook his lack of elite height.

32) Philadelphia Eagles- RB Ronald Jones, USC

The Ronald Jones to Eagles bandwagon has been hot for a minute now. Don't ask ME to change that.

[type-a-nomad]

First Blog Post: Cape Town Day 1

Sunday Feb 11 2018

Growing Pains

I landed in Cape Town at 7:30am local time (CTT= Cape Town Time/ CT= Cape Town).  Because I slept from SFO to Heathrow, I got little to no sleep from Heathrow to Cape Town, resulting in my accidental all-nighter from 11:30pm CTT.  Everything is sort of hazy and out of whack.  It seems like everything that could have gone slightly wrong, has gone slightly wrong.  Or, at least, very far from the expected result.  The first of these instances was in the CT airport.  There was a driver that was supposed to meet me at 8am CTT and by 8:20am I was starting to feel quite nervous, as it is easy to direct my unease about the general situation of moving continents towards a short-term, tangible problem like my transportation.  By this time, I am sweating from nerves and general physical exhaustion from hauling my duffle bag around looking for the guy who is supposed to have a sign directing me to him.  Finally, I call the emergency number of the program I’m going through and they tell me to go to the information desk and wait for him to meet me there.  So I do.   Another 20 minutes later, all is well and my driver, Kyle, is blasting Lil’ Jon while speeding down the highway past the poorest parts of CT.  There are thousands of houses made out of scrap metal.  I saw roofs held onto structures by the weight of fractured concrete, wooden planks and sheets of tin propped up against each other, some structures were even two stories high.  Then we were zooming through Cape Town, the first thing I saw was the prison, which was almost as depressing as the slums.  But once we cleared the poorer outskirts, the water was visible and it was stunning.  It was like the surface was covered in gold glitter it was sparkling so much.  We stopped in front of a house in a rundown neighborhood, directly facing a large, white, and mostly windowless primary school.  Kyle grabs my duffle bag out of the car (bless him) and dispassionately drops me and it at the front door of a dusty, brick-red house.  I ring the doorbell as Kyle drives off.  Nobody answers.  After a minute, I ring again.  Still, nobody answers.  I reach past the metal grate blocking the wooden door and knock.  I am starting to panic (again) and am knocking and ringing, feeling stranded and mildly disgusted at the dead, partially-squished rat I had to walk over to get to the door.  10 minutes pass.  I am still frantically knocking.  Then, I hear something. A short girl answers the door.  She’s maybe 24, with a sleeve of tattoos- one of which is a large elephant with a very South African looking tree next to it.  I introduce myself and she says her name is Cassie and she essentially runs the hostel.  She takes me upstairs and shows me my room with three bunkbeds lining the walls, and a file-cabinet-like dresser against the fourth.  The floor is covered in clothes and there is a girl sleeping in her underwear surrounded by around 5 half-empty fanta bottles and two sticky glasses with flat soda in them.  I say hello and she makes no noise, clearly a bit irritated her sleep has been interrupted.  Cassie tells me to meet her downstairs in a few minutes when I settle in.  I sit down on the bed and basically curl up in a ball of confusion, anxiety, and relief.   When I have taken some deep breaths, reapply deodorant, and listed things I am grateful for and things I want to learn, I hop down the dirty stairs in the dim  house and find Cassie.  She gives me a brief tour of the house and shows me how I have to shower in a bucket and then dump the bucket in a larger bucket.  Then, when you want to take a number 2 you have to walk to the big bucket, fill up a small bucket with water, then find a way to dump the water in the small bucket into the toilet tank so you can flush.  This is way harder than it sounds and it an extremely awkward process that is almost as stressful as it is embarrassing for me because if you grab the bucket everyone knows you aren't just going number 1.  Most of my stress here hinges on the idea of making myself more embarrassed than I already am by fûcking up this process in one way (technically this whole extravaganza is called a grey-water system). After the somewhat unnerving house tour, I am starting to realize how incredibly foreign all of this is.  Moving to and living in Florence was traveling to another country, Cape Town is another planet.  Everything feels slightly uneasy when you walk down the streets.  I felt very watched and distrustful of anyone around me because I had been warned so thoroughly about the impressive theft that was pulled off, even in broad daylight. Then, the first genuinely positive interaction of my day happens.  Three girls, Jonna (Sweden), Ella (Sweden), and Natália (Brazil) say that they're gong to the beach and if I don’t have any plans I should come with them to get lunch and then go to the beach.  The tight little ball in my chest loosens. We all go to the grocery store and upon our return, Cassie comes up to me and tells me that tomorrow I am moving to a HomeStay.  My reaction is:  “WHAAAT??!?!?!?!??!?!????”.  I was NOT supposed to be at a Home-Stay and was clearly told by the volunteer service that I would be based at the volunteer hostel.  I was completely caught off-guard and this was the LAST mix-up I would expect to happen.  I make her double-check that it’s the right person she’s talking about and she confirms that yes, in fact my program is in an area much closer to the poorer neighborhoods, because those are the kids we are serving.  Thus, I need to live close to them and that means living with a family.  WHAT THE FÜCK?  I regain my zen and try to just be a “go with the flow” kind of person, but I feel like a rock being unwillingly dragged down a river by the force of the water.  After many minutes of mindful breathing and sunscreen application, we are in the uber to the beach.   The beach is gorgeous.  The South African Sun was incredibly intense.  Even when applying several layers of thick sunscreen and sitting entirely in the shade, my skin was very offended I had decided to move to this continent.  That being said, there were white fluffy sand, colored umbrellas, beautiful and tan, beachy South Africans everywhere, so I told my skin to shut up.  My particular favorite of all my people-watching specimen was a 50-something woman in a hot pink bikini who was so freckled she passed it off as a deep tan.  She had a lower back tattoo that said “Brooklyn Forever” in swirly writing, some Chinese characters on her back, a ring of thorns around her bicep, and a kiss mark on her lower right hip.  Her small white lap dog came over and chilled on my towel while she drank some alcoholic beverage and told her four-year-old daughter to move out of her tanning chair because “I’m an ádult” (only self-important people say adult as aaaaadult).  She also told her friend to “stay on the hunt”, when a 20 year old lifeguard passed and they both obviously checked him out, even though they were both wearing wedding rings and surrounded by their own children.  From eavesdropping on their conversations I learned her name was Lisa, which fits all too well.   I hang out with my new friends and learn lots of cool information.  For example, Natalia has breast implants her boyfriend paid for as a present to her 5 months ago and is very happy to talk about them as a point of braggadocio (as it turns out, two americans in this volunteer hostel also have breast implants”.  Ella has four tattoos, one of which is very large on her forearm that says “There is no progress without struggle”.  She says she almost ran to the tattoo parlor on her 18th birthday to get it— but now she thinks it’s cliche.  Jonna is amazed at my ability to recite facts I learned from various podcasts I listened during my unintentional all-nighter to Cape Town.  For example, your likelihood of getting cancer increases by 40% if you average less than 7 hours of sleep per night over your lifetime.  Cassie and her sister Ashley end up joining us.  By that time I was entirely exhausted.  My face was telling me it was time to get out of the sun even though I was in the shade, with a hat and sunscreen on.  And, again, I was entirely exhausted so interaction with new people was a strain I was really not feeling.   Finally, we call and uber and go back to the hostel. I cannot get the idea of the host family off of my mind as I am moving there tomorrow and have exactly no information on who they are, where they live, what the conditions will be, how many people live there, etc.. I decide the best way to ease my anxiety is to get something done.  So, I go to the drug store down the street, Click-It.  I buy around 10 items and when I’m checking out, the cashier does something very odd.  He looks at me, smiles, and says “when you leave the alarm by the door might go off, just keep walking”.  I kind of smile and then process what he’s really said, then process the fact that him and his female co-worker at the other register just smiled at each other clearly in regards to what he has just said.  “Why” I ask.  “Because I am not going to scan all the items they want me to scan.  Don’t worry about it.  Just keep walking”.  At this point I’m like WHAT THE FÜCK IS GOING ON PART 2.  Is he saying he is giving me some of my items for free? What on earth is happening.  Well, then I go to pay with my Charles Schwab card that is supposed to be perfect and seamless to use and it’s DECLINED.  So I pay with Wells Fargo and the world starts turning again.  Right after I pick up my bag he reminds me “dont forget: DO NOT stop walking”. And Im like “Dude I just wanted my leave-in conditioner, I don’t need Mission-Impossible”  But, whatever, I’m only 95% sure I can understand the gist of what he is saying because I am still having trouble understanding South African English accents. I scurry home, through the accusatorially beeping metal detector with my newly aquired, and possibly partially stolen goods and take my brief, bucket shower.  Now, I am hiding in my top bunk, trying to collect myself and hide from human interaction because honestly, I’m getting close to being at wits-end.  I am too overwhelmed to edit this so #nofilter yay I completed my first blog post.  Happy First Day In South Africa, Bitches.

xoxo Q