#while i'm in extreme pain and feeling like shit
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THIS. THIS THIS THIS. i could talk a lot about how this kind of thing goes for me and how i use it--i might come back to do that in another reblog--but for now i wanted to pass it on because THIS. i am on a basis where i can literally ask my body, in words, what i'm feeling, and very quickly get an answer. it's fucking wild.
another extremely helpful step i'd like to add is: if you're trying to get in touch with and narrate to an emotion this way, ask it if it needs you to talk to someone else first. ('someone else' being 'another feeling you are having.')
if something happens that leaves me feeling kicked in the gut--even if i already know why it feels that way, and what caused it--trying to interrogate it too directly will just make it even worse, and it won't listen or tell me jack shit. if i ask if i need to talk to someone else first, i am almost certainly going to be directed straight to the parts of my body that are feeling anger; panic; sense of betrayal; sense that Something Urgently Must Be Done; and so on, and have to address those first, because my reaction to the trigger is going to involve layers of emotions and not just one. defeat my seven evil fight or flight responses etc.
and on top of that, many times more often than not, the emotion i'm going to be directed to is HOLY GOD I AM SO HUNGRY/THIRSTY/TIRED/HURTY, TAKE CARE OF IT PLEASE. i'll become immediately aware of bodily factors i'd completely failed to notice, which were stressing me the fuck out on top of the other emotional triggers. even if it's something i can't do much to mitigate at the time (my body's favorite hobby is randomly hurting like a bitch), it is insanely helpful to be able to go 'the toddler in my nervous system is hungry, exhausted, and in pain. they need a nap and a snack and to curl up in a blanket with a comfort movie for a while before we can talk productively about the meltdown they just had, no matter how gentle or understanding i am about it.'
once i've addressed those things, the vast majority of the time lump of lead in my gut will actually be ready to work with me. it's practically magic and i highly recommend.
on the validity of recognizing emotions
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Do you ever think one of the decepticons or autobots every harmed themselves? And how would it work??
Idk
I'm project
☣️ anon
Oh boy - I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about this.
I feel as though self-harm comes in a wide variety of ways. Here, I'll focus on TFP for this.
Optimus doesn't harm himself directly, but it's clear he's extremely willing to sacrifice his life for the good of others - ie: come on just take a look at the season 1 finale. He's got a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, and while I believe the presence of the Primes inside the Matrix of Leadership may help him cope, he could be feeling a lot better.
Arcee obviously has a similar problem. Look at her obsession with taking down Airachnid. Losing two partners has crushed her, and while she's still going, she's very willing to risk herself if it comes to enacting revenge. Not to mention some clear signs of PTSD. While I have mixed feelings on associating human mental illnesses with bots (since I assume they have their own thing going on), she definitely has an equivalent.
Ratchet is constantly neglecting himself for the sake of his team. He doesn't refuel enough, he's overworked and he doesn't consider himself valuable enough despite being their backbone. Syn-En is just an example of a risk he's willing to take if it means helping his team. Let's not even address how he keeps blaming himself for things he couldn't fix (ie: Bumblebee's voicebox)
Wheeljack has lost so many of his fellow Wreckers he's willing to endanger himself on the regular. And he nearly died trying to avenge Bulkhead, so it's clear he was already steeling himself for his friend's possible death. Out of all of the bots, it's clear he's high up there when it comes to trauma.
Megatron is... out of his mind to say the least. He's incredibly contradictory as a person, and I believe a lot of it is influenced by his trauma as a miner then as a gladiator (especially risking his life in the Pits of Kaon). He's endangering himself on a regular basis (HE SHOVED DARK ENERGON IN HIS SPARK CHAMBER HE IS SO NOT OKAY) and I wouldn't be surprised if he got a kick from pain to a degree. Less in the masochism sense more in the "Bro, you are bleeding out, you need to go to a hospital asap" Starscream keeps going back to Megatron despite all the shit that happened to him, so I believe he's dependent to a degree (looking at you season 3) - and Megatron's constant belittling is doing wonders for his mental health Dreadwing is full of issues. @karinadele suggested he may have some kind of Avoidant personality disorder, which would make sense. He is not coping well with his brother's death and he keeps pushing himself to his limits and ignoring the clear grief he's feeling. His eventual death is to a degree the result of his unwillingness to let others in. Yes, he has his issues with the Autobots - but he could have also separated himself from both factions instead of, you know, getting himself killed. Breakdown to me has a load of issues and is the closest to presenting actual acts of self-harm (although minor). He is dependent to a degree, keeps himself in the background unless Bulkhead is involved, and of course; he feels the need to prove himself to others (baby girl, you're dealing with self-worth issues). While I believe his partnership with Knock Out definitely grounds him, sometimes KO's bossiness and laissez-faire attitude gets to him. Come on, Breakdown's been mutilated by humans and lost an optic as a result. Plus, I'm pretty sure shutting down his "pain receptors" might have caused more damage in the long run. I can see him developing nervous ticks, like picking at wounds or even scraping/peeling off small pieces of mesh. It's a coping mechanism. A bad one yeah. But it helps. He keeps lying about it to KO but the medic's onto him. Sadly, he isn't great at comforting Breakdown. KO wants him to stop but it's difficult for him to be emotionally available.
#headcanon hour#self h@rm#tfp megatron#transformers prime#maccadam#tfp optimus#tfp arcee#tfp ratchet#tfp wheeljack#tfp breakdown#tfp knockout#tfp dreadwing#tfp starscream
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i think my recurring chest pain might be my heart breaking slowly but surely
#vall txt#remember i said yesterday my period attacked me? yeah i'm feeling very weak and sick as per usual because of it#and my mom deemed it more important to go with my 30 year old sister to an appointment she def didn't need comoany for#and left me with a 1 year old baby#while i'm in extreme pain and feeling like shit#i'm legit crying of legit just heartbreak rn#am i that fucking worthless that she consistently leaves me alone for a 30 year old married woman with children#even when i really need her and shouldn't be taking care of a baby by myself#jfc why am i being a baby about it lmao#she made me help said 30 year old move furniture even tho i had fallen and twisted my ankle the day before#sorry guys i'm just super sad and don't want to vent to my friends through text because we've been knew i'm a baby#to delete.
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General PSA: the strains of flu going around this season have been especially severe. "104°F/39.5°C fevers feat. multiple symptoms for a week straight" kind of severe.
Now is a good time to remember the importance and utility in prevention. If you haven't been masking recently, this is a great reminder to start again. Did you put off your flu vaccine for the season? It's still worth taking the time to get it! If you're taking care of somebody with a known flu infection, or are a high risk individual exposed to the virus, you can ask a doctor for a Tamiflu prescription as a preventative.
Take what precautions you can for others, too – even if you do get sick. If you're feeling unwell, stay home as best you can. If you have to venture out, take extra precautions (e.g. social distancing, making sure your KN95 is properly fitted, etc.). Be mindful of shared spaces with those you live with, especially when coughing or sneezing.
Remember: flu season is considered to run from October to May in the northern hemisphere, and May to October in the southern hemisphere. The rollout for the upcoming season's vaccine usually starts 2-4 weeks beforehand. Everybody over the age of 6 months should try to get their flu vaccine ASAP. Your shot needs 2 weeks for your immune system to build antibodies, and it will last you a full 6 months. Getting it at the beginning of the season means the fullest protection possible.
Just remember: as individuals, the best way we can contribute to public health is through preventative care, and mindfulness of other's wellbeing and needs. So, please take care of yourselves and each other! You're never too late to start. :)
#open mic night#public health#psa#hi. can you tell i caught the flu from my beautiful wifey.#i'm actually writing this because i'm really thankful for this year's flu vaccine#i get sick every flu season. sometimes multiple times. and the drift from the vaccine to the circulating viruses can be brutal.#this is the first time in a while i've caught the flu and it's been miraculously mild.#like it is as bad as the doctor was telling wifey. i have basically every influenza symptom possible. but they've been extremely limited.#temp hit 100.4° briefly. i feel like i'm having an above average pain day with low spoons. my tummy hurts. it feels like i have hay fever.#but i've been able to do things and i've been pretty alright with OTC flu medicine. haven't even needed to use my inhaler much.#meanwhile the human health tank that is my darling sunflower was out cold for 3 or 4 days#it's a reversal that makes me really thankful for the medical care i have access to. this is the shit that can kill people like me!!!
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The Maine shooter has been found dead, btw. In case anyone was wondering.
#idk if this is even the right response to have but like. all i can think/feel is#what was even the point of all of that.#like if the goal was suicide by police why did you run off for 48 hours leaving everyone terrified#if the goal was suicide in general why did you have to take 18 fucking people with you.#and injure 13.#it was confirmed to be a suicide. that's what i needed to know the most tbh. personally speaking.#i. feel like i'm gonna say some truly unhinged shit if i don't stop myself LMFAOO#i'm just such a harm reduction bitch. what is the least painful and inconvenient way i can go about this. you know.#fucking pisses me off is all i'm saying.#to the point where i can't even feel relieved. like.#somewhere somebody fucked up and let this guy keep his weapons when he was institutionalized.#being institutionalized in itself is an extremely complicated topic bc our systems fucking suck#and what even was the alternative after everything? jail? EVERYBODY knows the prison system sucks ass#and police are all fucking bastards. again it's another corrupt system that doesn't ADDRESS any issues#they just suppress it and punish it. while also being an enemy to marginalized people in general#so like oooo manhunt police are after him. okay. and i'm supposed to trust that that's a good thing?#but again with every broken ass system ever. what even is the alternative.#to stop an ex military man with a gun who just shot up a bowling alley.#idk man maybe i'm just too autistic for all of this. none of it makes any fucking sense. all of it is fucking stupid.#like. again. what was even the fucking point.
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Man.......Car Seat Headrest, right?
#listening to deadlines (hostile) + deadlines (thoughtful) back to back on a loop is making me feel some sort of way#I don't really know how to describe it eloquently (?) enough but it's very bittersweet and it has some elements of home#like the feeling i got during late september nights back in my hometown walking home drunk and full of hazy feelings#I'm about to say some extremely banale shit but: it really clicks because i can tell this time of my life is very joyful#and like full of excitement and learning and not many heavy responsibilities and it's slipping by VERY fast#and it's also a revolving door of people that I'll get to know briefly before they move on and away so that's bittersweet too#and then there's the pain of feeling my old friendships fading a little bit too while I'm here having fun#i want to tell them but I'm also embarrassed to do so ......and why would i be? idk#but i am#so yeah i guess these songs and this album in particular fits veey well cause I'm stuck in between two lives and theyre both good#but obviously I can't have em both. i like this new one a lot but it's also hard and i also miss much of my old one but I don't want it back#.....on a more trivial note the way she looks at me cleaves me open and i want to gnaw this crush off of me#like a fox stuck in a bear trap might do its crushed leg#yeah that's it
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You Randomly Get Kidnapped but You Can Handle Yourself (Batboys)
(Requested by @nesting-dreams ily sm thank you for all the ideas/prompts xxx)
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Dick: He was never one to have or tell you what you could and couldn't do. For you, you wanted to work a job like a regular person even though he said he would financially support you. You didn't want to feel like you were mooching off of him.
So as unfortunate as it was you were trying to get in your vehicle after working a really long shift at the hospital while on the phone with Dick, a man came up behind you and they were very swiftly beaten with a metal waterbottle.
Dick was obviously very worried cause of what he heard and he was already patroling the area which meant he very swiftly came to you. You were sat ontop of the man, his arms pinned under your knees as you brutally smacked him over and over with a waterbottle.
"You wanna kidnap people in the middle of the night, You Little Shit?!" You were yelling.
Nightwing had to pull you off of the man noticing the damage you did, it took everything for Dick not to laugh at this man. He got beat up by a tired nurse with a fuckin waterbottle, needless to say he was proud and the man was swiftly arrested. The pair of you went home to have a well deserved nap.
Jason: Being the man he is he decided that it was a fantastic idea to give you a very strong tazer for your birthday because he thought you might need it and you really wanted one.
"I hope someone would, I'll taze their dick off!" You waved the uncharged tazer around very happy about the gift.
"You'll taze their dick off?" He laughed as he appreciated your enthusiasm.
Unfortunately, when you hope for something bad to happen it usually brings bad things around, you we're trying to get into the apartment with Jason was on the other side which of course the dumb ass trying to kidnap you didn't realize that.
By the time Jason get out there you were very clearly tasing this mother fucker in the balls. The man was groaning in very obvious pain, a shot of electricity to the family jewels didn't feel very good.
"You wanna go again, Asshole? You want me to taze you in the mouth, I'm sure that shit hurts just as much."
"I think you got him, Babygirl." He was smiling with full pride. He knew you would never use the taser without knowing 100% that you could do it without getting hurt and you very successfully did.
The man was left there and Jason brought you back inside, put your tazer back on the charger and then showed you all the ways he was very proud of you.
Bruce: He really didn't want you to have any sort of self-defense tool because he knew that if you fought back the likelihood that they would hurt you is extremely higher.
Naturally, you being you you bought a little bracelet that if you press it then it makes a very loud noise which can hurt whoever's ears you're pointing it at.
Another feature on there is that it sent him your location which was probably something that he would have been okay with if that's all it did but alas it was not.
From sparring with Bruce you knew a lot and this asshole pissed you off, trying to kidnap a woman while she was pumping gas? "I think the fuck not."
You had very promptly pushed the button and cupped it against the man's ear which caused him to get disoriented and fall flat on his stupid face.
"That's why you don't mess with girls at the gaspump! Suck my metaphorical dick, Motherfucker!" You would think that this was a Fortnite game with the way that you were acting, to anyone else it would have been the funniest thing ever but of course Bruce doesn't have the biggest sense of humor.
He thought what you were doing was reckless and stupid, you should have gotten your car and left. Bruce proceeded to lecture you the entire night about exactly what you should have done and why it was dangerous and how you're lucky that it didn't turn out worse than it was.
"We don't take pride when we hurt someone and we sure as hell don't gloat. What we're you thinking? He couldve got up. That was reckless."
Tim: Tim craved coffee like it was some sort of drug needing to be injected into jis veins and you really really loved the little muffins the coffee shop had. You got up early in the morning and we're making your way to the coffee shop.
You figured out you were being followed quite quickly so of course the only thing you had in your bag was your wallet and maybe a few pens. Nothing the regular person would think would be overly useful in a situation like this.
The pen was useful though if you used it right, it was swiftly brought between your fingers, you texted Tim you were being followed. He very promptly shot out of bed to protect you, throwing on whatever close were scattered around the messy bedroom.
Once he found you, you were leturing the man on all the places you could stick the pen. The man was on the ground pinned to the floor. None of the Batboys were ever gonna let their woman go out of sight without some sorta training.
"I could stick this in your jugular, if you'd like. I could gove you the choice you were never gonna give me."
"You could stick it in his eye, its less lethal and could be considered an accident." Tim chimed in with a smile, the smile on Tim's face was quickly matched by yours.
The man underneath you was panicking because for all he knew you two were complete psychopaths considering jow many Gotham has. He started begging for you to let him go, You got off him while clicking the pen which made him run off like a little crybaby.
Tim and you walked hand and hand to the coffee shop like nothing ever happened. You both knew the pen wasn't what scared him if was your confidence and the way you spouted things off like a crazy person.
Damian: Damian was very much his father's son and he would do the same psychotics weird ass shit that Bruce did. The only difference was he asked you and you very clearly said no to a tracking device being put in you but that did not stop him from doing it and he did it very easily without you noticing.
Of course he didn't know anything was wrong until he noticed that you're tracking device really didn't move too much. He was kinda worried but it was instantly interrupted.
The phone rang and it was a guy calling for ransom while a guy in the background argued with you and said something about you stabbing him in the ass.
"We want a million." The man said off the bat.
"That's all your gonna ask for?!" Then there was the sound of the phone hitting the floor while you beat the shit out of them with a chair leg.
"You should really have better quality shit if you're gonna kidnap someone!" You yelled while the two men grunted on the floor, the first one had had the chair smashed into his back and this one was being wacked with a chair leg.
Damian showed up in regular clothes, he could tell by the phone call you didn't need any help.
"How the fuck did you know where I am?" You asked with clear suspicion and irritation.
"I traced the cell phone call." He lied very easily but there was something off and you could tell. He always kind of scratched his chin when he told you a lie and he had a shitty poker face.
"You put a tracker in me?! When we get home, you are cutting it out. I dont care that you track me but I'd rather not have a weird piece of metal in my body, Damian! I already have this stupid birth control for you, but at least that shit's been tested."
He knew that there was no point in fighting with you so therefore when the both of you got home, he cut it out and he stitched it back up and did everything he could to apologize without actually saying the words. You wore tracking bracelet from then on, a lot less invasive of the body.
Damian definitely was left apologizing over that for months cause he knew he betrayed your wishes and your trust. It was flowers, jewlery, gifts galore. Damian was never good with his words, you knew he was sorry but you wanted him to say it. Once he did the tension between the two of you quickly evaporated into thin air.
-> Masterlist <-
-> Send me prompts if you'd like <-
#batboys#jason todd x reader#jason todd#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#red hood x reader#batboys x reader#batman x reader#tim drake x reader#bruce wayne x reader#batman#batfamily#batfam#red hood#nightwing x reader#damian wayne
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Fuck the pain out [JJK] [m]
PAIRING: Jungkook x female reader
GENRE: Halloween party, smut, angst if you consider, pwp
WARNING: masked shit (ghostface), he is masked, unprotected sex, oc is js sad, he likes her, blowjob, lil fluff talk and blah blah
SUMMARY: Maybe ghostface will fuck your sadness away tonight.
W.C: 1.3k
A/N : Halloween and yet no man masked as ghostface to fuck me so why not write about it. Enjoy!
I was so broken by that point I didn't even give a fuck who the man kissing my neck was. He told me he'll make me feel good, treat me good tonight, maybe help me forget that I'm a fucking shattered piece of soul.
I can't even tell how he looks because his face is concealed by an intimidating mask. "I'm ghostface." was how he'd introduced himself to me while I was alone by myself smoking a joint at this halloween party my friends brought me to.
Having to see a person you've always loved deep down in your heart for years with another girl feels like shit even though I know I have no right to feel that way.
We're in the dark, now that his mask is off, I can't really see his face but I can feel the jewel on his lip momentarily graze my neck-
Wait.
I know who that jewel belongs to.
My eyes shoot open and my hands slide to his shoulders. I croaked, "Are you sure you wanna-." His lips shut me off before I speak any further.
A soft whimper leaves my mouth as his lips delve deeper into my mouth, "So broken, so needy." His lips graze against mine. "It's okay baby, I'll make you forget him tonight."
The way he assured me, gosh. I softly slipped my hands cupping the girth of his neck, I could feel him looking at me. I took my lips down his jaw as I slipped my palm to the back of his head and trailed kisses up to the corner of his lips.
"Kiss me." His whispers were all that I needed to press my lips against his. His hand roughly grabbed me by my neck as he hungrily devoured my lips.
His passionate kiss kept me busy as he slowly lowered us onto the mattress, him nestled between my legs as he trailed kisses from my lips to my chin, my jaw down to my cleavage.
"You need someone to worship you." His murmur tickles my skin and I suck in a sharp breath. "Understand you." A stinging sensation of his teeth slightly nipping on my skin, yet I love it. "Validate you." He continues his abuse on my skin. "Love you." Maybe its the joint that's heightening my senses and making me extremely sensitive to everything I was feeling. I wanted him. Bad. "You need commitment." He tugs onto my pants.
Oh my.
I push him off of me as he stands at the edge of the bed. Even though I can't really see I can sense him. I can sense him looking at me. A little surprised, confused at the same time. I can feel his chest raising and falling rhythmically with his loud erratic breaths.
I undid the buttons of his shirt one by one ascending, while his fingers tangled and played with my hair.
It was as if he was sculpted, body so perfect, muscles in right places. My tongue brushed over his abs leaving wet kisses as I went lower and tugged on the band of his Calvin Kleins.
As I pulled down his boxers, I could feel him tightening his grip on my locks. I get off the bed down on my knees as I spit on his cock and sensually lick the tip then proceed to slowly put him in my mouth.
His tatted arm fists my hair. His girth barely fitting into my mouth, but I still make an attempt to bob my head. His moans were so pretty, so hot, made me wanna go deeper and harder. The vibrations of his vocalization revert to the back of my throat.
I'm loving the fact that I'm making him feel good. I slowly get used to his girth and start working my mouth on him in all the ways I can. The way he's tugging on my hair kinda stings but that is something I can easily overlook.
"Fuck, you're so good." I can feel my own arousal spasming through my insides as i can feel him twitching in my mouth. "I'm not gonna last much." He moans as he pulls out of my mouth and grabs my hair, not by extreme but strong enough to yank me to the bed. He crawls, spreading my legs open and resting between my thighs.
I let out a small whimper as my back meets the surface of the mattress. He wastes' no time in ripping me off of my clothes and throwing them across the room. "I'm not going soft on you." He whispers as his thumb plays with my lower lip. I gently wrap my lips around his finger and flick it out. "I don't want that either." I breathe out.
"Baby, I wanna fuck you mad. Like an animal."
"You better do."
I physically jerk at the feeling of his fingers grazing my glistening cunt. I bite my lips as he slides his hand up my folds and slowly inserts his finger in me.
He goes slow at first but then shows no mercy, plunging his fingers in and out of me. His lips press against mine as he swallows my moans.
"I want you. Please." I breathe out and that's all he needed to pull his fingers out of me and reach out for the piece of latex.
I stop him. "I want you raw in me."
"If you do that then I can't fucking pull out-"
"I want you to not." I cut him off and I can see his silhouette, his neck cranking sideways putting on the mask he possessed, and I feel his girth in me and his tatted arm presses me down to the pillow by my neck.
"Baby you feel so good." He reaches down to kiss my thigh from under the mask as he starts with his thrusts.
Divine is what I would like to call this feeling. He felt so good I couldn't help but let out obscene noises. He felt divine. His moans, his breath, his thrusts, him inside me. It was all so hot.
My back arched as his thrusts got insanely deep and hard. His grip on my neck tightens and I feel our arousal dripping down my thighs.
"Mine." he grunts. "You're mine."
This was unusual for me. Cumming so fast like this. But I could already feel the tightening sensation and I can no longer assure that I am sane. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I take full pleasure of the feeling of him inside me, shaking vigorously underneath him syncing with his animalistic thrusts. As he leans down, I lift his mask a little to let him peck my neck. I can see veins popping on his neck, from the illumination from the window. His face and neck flushed pink.
"Baby you gonna cum?" I nod. He slows down. I whimper. "I need words, love." He smirks on my skin. "I'm gonna cum." I blurt out, my hips desperately trying to create some sort of stimulation.
But my pathetic attempt fails as he grabs my hips, restoring his thrusts. And I no longer am able to hold it in me. I unfold shaking under him, clenching hard. "Yeah baby, come all over my cock." He coos, his thrusts again going gentle.
But that was short lasted as he started chasing his own orgasm. Overstimulating but I loved the way he was desperately snapping his hips against mine. "Fuck if you clench on me like this- fuck." and with the hottest moan, he cums in me. His mask now off of him, hot sweaty body pressed against mine, his wet strands tickling my breasts. and his lips on my skin.
He takes a few minutes to regain his breath. "So you staying for the night or not." He says as he turns on the dim lamp from the nightstand.
His expression soon turns into a slight disappointment seeing the uncertainty in my face.
#bts smut#au#bts#fanfiction#jimin#jungkook#kim taehyung#park jimin#bts jimin#bts x oc#jungkook x reader#jeon jeongguk#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic
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My experiences with synastry
8th house synastry
By far, my favorite. Intense, transcendal, deep. It goes beyond the physical and mental, reaches straight into your soul. The sexual tension is palpable, and at the same time it feels like home.
( do note that i have pluto influencing my ic and moon so your and my idea of 'home' might be a bit different ♡ lmao )
Moon in 8th house:
- absolute favorite. the connection runs deep, if you let it. when you meet this person you will know pretty early on that the potentional for intense bonding is immense. for every person i met with this, after a while i look in their eyes and think 'we could absolutely ruin eachother in the best way possible'.
- the sexual tension breaches the physical and turns almost emotional. like, 'i want to fuck you so hard that you cry' type shit. of course, every 8th house connection has some kind of sexual electricity constantly present, but i've found that w this placement, it's .. profound.
- so far , i've only been the house person, and i've found that the way the moon person looks at me is like nothing i've seen before. i mean, the eye contact being intense is a given w any 8th overlay but w this one it's ... wow. it's a simultaneous pleading to 'come closer, enter my world, feel my essence' and a threat to 'stay away, you see to far into me, you know too much'.
- it's obsessive. on my side (house) at least. by obsessive i mean ... obsessive. one of them is a crush that i haven't been able to put out for a fucking year, even with no contact. in fact, funnily enough, when i thought i was totally over it, all it took was to see her again and make eye contact - immediately, i was thrown for a loop. we didn't even exchange words directly, it was a group setting .. but the eye contact was absolutely enough. crazy.
- as the house person, i feel like the moon person can feel that i see straight through them. another thing i've noticed is that the moon person usually seems a little intimidated/nervous around me, especially at first.
- the thing with this overlay is that it can get hard to take real action on the connection because it's anything but lighthearted. you can clearly tell that if you pursue it, it's gonna get deep and that can range from inconvenient to uncomfortable, or even scary for someone who's not used to 8th house/pluto/scorpio energy.
Lilith in 8th house
- the sexual tension. is. insane. i'm talking .. concerning. i've had this w a friend, a guy who's not my type in the slightest (and i dont really like guys in general, mind you), but there's this kind of ... sexual energy in the air. like, we're not gonna do anything about it, but it's there. and it's not even physical, for me at least - i dont find him attractive physically its just .. a compulsive feeling.
- now, when i have it w someone i actually find attractive, even a little bit, it gets scaled up to the extreme. the moment i see this person, i'm immediately attracted to them. instant. they don't even have to be my type, but if they are - my god, if they are ...
- i am usually lilith in this overlay, and i often find myself wanting to corrupt the house person, to pull them into my dark erotic world. this synastry really brings out my lilith energy even more.
- as lilith i love teasing the house person & i want to see them squirm. i wanna dominate them & see them fall apart beneath me (in the best way possible)
- this is very much a 'i can ruin them' type connection (not in a malicious way)
- i automatically feel confident around this person, no matter if i felt insecure the rest of the day; its like the house person awakens my dark feminine energy just w their presence (and thats a damn good feeling)
Sun & Mercury in 8th house
- honestly this ones interesting; if your connection is platonic, it wont add weird undertones, if its not , it will heighten the attraction significantly.
- it will be really easy and satisfying to talk about your secrets, your past, your traumas, your pain, as well as your kinks, sexual preferences & sexual experiences w this person.
- you will be able to tell this person the naked, blunt truth about them to their face, and vice versa, esp eith mercury in 8th overlay
sun conjunct lilith
- i was lilith and its .. fun. sun brings out my 'bad' side. the fun one.
- as lilith, i find sun really cute, and i try to figure them out, cause i feel like they arent really as naive & innocent as they seem to be.
- sun may be a little scared of lilith here. :)
pluto conjunct lilith
- i have yet to experience this but from what i've heard i love, love, love .
- think bonnie n clyde, mr and mrs smith. they can appreciate eachothers shadow and its very exciting
- hearsay says the sex is mindblowing but i cant confirm or deny
pluto conjunct ascendant
- my mothers pluto is conjunct my ascendant and she literally fucked me up royally soo be careful w this one yall
- pluto will try to control the ascendant and have power over them
- pluto tries to control ascendants behavior, appearance, mannerisms, social etiquett, even food intake sometimes
- i have never seen this be a healthy dynamic but i would love to be proven wrong
lilith square ascendant
every time a man's lilith squares my ascendant, an angel dies. i swear to fucking god, this synastry is a hot, headache-inducing mess.
now, ive only ever had this with men so take it w a grain of salt.
whenever a mans lilith squared my ascendant, the situation was the same:
he had a crush, and then there was .. me. he loved one girl, truly, but had an intense, weird, sexual obsession with me (that often scared him).
he was extremely attracted to me, but reluctant to admit it directly. wanted to 'tame' me, make me 'well-behaved'. we argued at least once within 24h of knowing eachother.
heavy sexual tension, but in a irritating, conflicting way. reallyy intense eye contact, but almost forbidden.
they all, at some point, iced me out in one way or another, deliberately avoided me, seemingly for no reason.
lilith in 7th house
this ones weird.
- we kinda have beef, but not really
- we either completely agree with eachother or utterly disagree
- mixed feelings
- switching between liking and disliking eachother
- sexual tension, but in an annoying way
#astrology#plutonian#astro placements#horoscope#lilith#astro observations#synastry#lilith synastry#pluto synastry#lilith square ascendant#8th house#8th house synastry
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𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧
★ lee minho
✦summary: You embark on an unusual night for you, as a companion to a wealthy stranger man with a cold countenance, a warm heart and a very hot form of affection.
✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / oral sex / spanking / hair pulling / chocking / ceo lee know x fem reader / non idol felix x fem reader / mention of sex workers, scort / sugar daddy
word count: 12.3k
Part 2 ᯓ★
(masterlist)
Money did buy happiness, you thought; if it did you would be in your mansion worth millions, you would use your money to buy contacts to get your dream job without having to sweat a drop and you wouldn't be standing there right now listening to the landlady, while she yells at you and reminds you how far behind you are in your payments.
It was humiliating and you had no other excuse to tell her, it was obvious she didn't give a shit how much you studied and worked at the same time and it still wasn't enough. She finally left, insulting you a couple of times and flattering herself for being a good person by letting you stay and giving you a space in a very rushed and busy city like this one, where millions of people are looking for a place to live every day.
You wanted to feel unashamed, carefree but you couldn't do it and everything was a thousand times more embarrassing when you were helping your best friend pack as she was moving to a new and better apartment. You knew Hari since you moved into the building three years ago, she was your neighbor and you were the same age so you two quickly liked each other... but the day had come, she was able to move on and was going to a nice place.
Hari watched the whole scene with a bit of sadness, knowing deep down what it felt like to go through exactly the same thing and hear the same old lady screaming. And, as she took one of her boxes to pass it to the mover she thought if after all this time it would be good to finally confess a secret to you… she was terrified of feeling judged but, she appreciated you too much that she really wanted to tell you.
You sighed without further ado, smiling and turning back to your friend.
“Hey, if you need…” Hari wanted to say but you interrupted her immediately.
“I'm fine, really.”
You stared at her and gave her a fake smile. It wasn't new that you hated asking for help and that people feel sorry for you, first it was your male best friend who stupidly is a millionaire and now your best friend who you were supposed to share economic pains. You felt that everyone was moving forward but you, but you didn't want to be seen as a poor girl in distress, it was what you hated the most even though you appreciate their gestures and words in your heart, despite that it's hard for you to take it, as well as thank them and…. express yourself.
“If you need anything you know you can count on m...?”
“On you and Felix, I know.”
You rolled your eyes trying to appear annoyed but you weren't, it was obvious, they always reminded you. And you were extremely grateful just at the thought that they cared about you. You were aware that one of the very good solutions was simply to start dating your rich best friend who you know likes you… but you weren't like that, unfortunately, you were too proud to accept easy money.
“You should give him a chance” Hari added.
“I think I'm fucked up enough to fall in love and add another worry.”
Felix was sweet, caring, attractive and incredibly wealthy, you met him in college as he was studying cinematography. And you were studying performing arts, actress, your biggest dream. Strangely enough, you and Felix connected instantly in a course where you coincided, and you got along very well forming a nice friendship; he had a big and pure heart and was not at all the typical brainless rich kid, however you were the opposite of him, reserved and a bit pessimistic about life and clearly… in some big and tight economic problems. You couldn't count the countless times Felix offered to help you financially, but you simply felt you were abusing the power of your cute and cuddly best friend.
He would offer you money, he would offer you one of his properties, all paid vacations, you knew it was every girl's dream and that if you told anyone other than Hari about all this, they would be sure to slap you and call you ‘stupid’ to your face. You recognized that he was all a dream come true and that was what you feared the most, that you might be a nightmare for him, your personalities were different and most of all, you felt so bad that you didn't have something to offer him; you felt it looked so wrong to be just him trying so hard even though you were trying twice as hard too and sometimes it seemed in vain.
Moreover, you were quite realistic and recognized well that guys like Felix, wealthy and from a long line of millionaire ancestors, a simple girl like you wasn't enough, and you could never end up with someone like him.
Hari laughed at your comment.
“Love isn't so bad... have you ever been in love?”
You looked at her perplexed, almost wanting to laugh in her face; Hari in love was a concept you didn't know.
“Have you?” you asked, emphasizing your shock.
Your friend just looked at you amused and continued her duty of clearing out her old home. She was nervous, she had a solution for you but wasn't sure if it was an option for you.
After a few hours of exhaustive work like moving your whole life to another place, both of you contemplated the completely empty apartment where you used to spend nights together having sleepovers. Hari sighed, ready to confess something no one else knew.
“Y/n” she spoke to you.
You made a sound indicating you were listening, but you weren't really, you couldn't stop looking at that wall, thinking about what you had to do as soon as possible to get extra money. Hari called your name again until this time she caught your attention, so you turned to look at her; she felt nervousness and wanted to swallow for a second, you furrowed your brow at her sudden strange reaction.
“If I tell you something, promise you won't judge.”
“Of course” you quickly answered without thinking, her behavior seemed odd, but suddenly you were so curious to know.
She looked at you with big eyes of ‘I'm serious’, while you returned the look more than obvious.
“What is it about?”
Hari took a breath, hesitant, and suddenly she had all your attention.
“Have you ever wondered how suddenly I get all this, finally moving, nicer clothes...?” she replied with another question.
You furrowed your brow and tilted your head a bit confused, not meaning to offend, but your friend's life wasn't something you were so concerned about since you saw her completely normal, it wasn't something to be alarmed about, every time you met she was still the same... you wondered if there was suddenly something you didn't notice and that you should feel like a bad friend about.
“Did you get a big promotion at your job...?” you speculated without an answer.
She smiled mockingly.
“There's someone” she finally spat out, unable to express it entirely.
You got excited, those words meant she was dating someone of whom you didn't know details and suddenly it excited you. You raised your eyebrows in surprise and turned your whole body towards her, looking at her straight ahead, enthusiastic.
“Oh my God, Hari, why didn't you...”
“Or something like that” she cut you off abruptly.
Again, you looked at her confused, this time waiting for her to start talking. Hari looked at the floor and finally said:
“I have someone who gives me money.”
Silence embraced you, you didn't know what to say so you just laughed incredulously letting out a little air, Hari quickly looked at you with her expressive eyes of ‘you promised not to judge’, so you hurried to say:
“A sugar daddy or something like that? Well… good for you, I guess.”
“I think you need one” she cut off your sarcastic comment so now you laughed out loud. “Being a companion.”
“No thanks, I have enough dealing with Felix and his specific complex” you scoffed.
“I think you're not getting it… I don't know how to explain it but, I can live my life for 5 years without working a single day.”
You were in denial and totally ready to continue to contradict and mock your friend until that comment caught you by surprise.
“Wow, well that's…” you closed your eyes deeply trying to process the kind of conversation you were having. “I think you're exaggerating a bit here…”
“No” she interrupted you again, “this is different, I think you reject Felix because you know him and… these are just unknown men willing to pay a lot of money.”
“Do you really think you can give that kind of power to a man, of just giving you money without him expecting anything in return?” you added without thinking.
Silence returned… and it was when everything made sense and you understood that Hari did give something in return. You didn't want to say it out loud, but suddenly your best friend was a prostitute; you were really surprised. You couldn't help but open your eyes in surprise. Hari felt the need to explain herself before feeling judged.
“They are really wealthy men, it's something really exclusive and selective, you can choose and…”
You dissociated and stopped listening for a second, did they have methods? What did she mean? Why would she believe in the first place that you would be part of something like that?
“And are you with someone or do you have multiple relationships…?” you interrupted her.
You had no idea why you cared about that, you weren't a saint to judge, but maybe it was just curiosity. Hari rolled her eyes annoyed.
“At first a few until I finally found someone, I’m telling you it's surprising what can happen; so far it's him, he gave me the apartment, he'll decorate it and-”
You closed your eyes again incredulously.
“He bought you the apartment? I thought you rented it.”
“I had to lie.”
“And what happens when your fantasy and money run out?” you said mercilessly.
Hari smiled, you were too honest and straightforward sometimes.
“Well, I don't think that will happen for a long time and… Chan and I reached an agreement that I could work in his company as much as I want, even if our relationship ends and he stops supporting me.”
“Oh, so he has a name and now you're dating.”
“It's complicated, I like him but it's obvious that guys like him don't end up with the poor girl like a a TV show.”
And with a hooker, you thought. At least you were grateful that after all the senseless chatter something with common reasoning came out of your friend's mouth. You really had nothing against what she was doing, it just took you by surprise.
Hari sighed.
“I know you don't believe me, but do you remember that time months ago when we went out to eat and jokingly I showed you the meager ₩50,000 in my bank account?”
You nodded, still perplexed and cautious about what she might show you now. Hari took her phone and in a few swift movements with her fingers, handed it to you, displaying on the screen an incredible amount that made you sigh just seeing it. You couldn't believe it. How was it possible for someone to have so much money? Why would they give it to Hari?
“I think it's dangerous, maybe it's just sex with strangers but in exchange for that ridiculous amount… I don't know, you shouldn't trust strangers like that.”
Hari opened her mouth, offended, as she took her phone back.
“It's not always sex, it's about companionship.”
You pursed your lips, unable to believe it; maybe for old men with erectile dysfunction, you thought, but somehow or another, they are men looking for something.
“I'm just giving you an option to give it a chance. It's a really exclusive app, you even send your data to be accepted; it also comes with details of the people offering money for you, how they are, how much, and you can reject them all, you're in control. Come on, y/n, desperate times call for desperate measures…”
“I wouldn't categorize it that way, no thanks, Hari, I'm not that desperate, and by the way, how did you find out?”
“I went to a party months ago and overheard a couple of unknown girls talking about it, it changed my life” she quickly checked her phone again. “I have to go, he came for me, but think about it, okay? Just out of curiosity, like I did until I saw a really impressive amount. Also, they specify if they want companionship or something more…”
You rolled your eyes annoyed, it was crazy, you thought that Hari could live anonymously but your dream was to be an actress, what were you supposed to do if they ever found out that you practically sold yourself. Both of you left the apartment and stood there in the hallway for a few seconds.
“Do you want to meet Chan?”
Your attention returned to your friend as soon as she said those words and confusedly you thought in your mind “who?” until you realized who she was talking about. You were curious, you expected an older man but you were surprised to see that shiny black luxury truck and inside of it, an attractive young adult driving, he looked no more than thirty, or maybe less than forty. You had descended all those floors to meet the person your friend was talking about with enthusiasm and you were too surprised.
Chan got out of the car as soon as he saw Hari and opened the passenger door for her.
“She's my friend, y/n” your friend introduced you.
“Pleasure to meet you” you shook hands.
You were in absolute surprise and denial, suddenly everything started to feel like just a fever dream. You felt the heavy gaze of your friend's ‘partner’ and for a second you wondered if he was really the guy who slept with girls for money or the chauffeur of the lucky handsome rich man.
You gave him a small smile and Chan quickly looked at Hari with complicit eyes, silently asking if you knew who he was in her life to which Hari almost reading his mind nodded softly.
“I'll see you another day, goodbye” your friend said goodbye with a strong hug which you were too astonished to reciprocate.
And they both left, leaving you standing on the cold pavement of the parking lot with your thoughts floating.
You returned to your apartment with a million questions, questioning almost your existence. Imagining the possibility of getting into that silly app, you thought for a second that Hari must have had the greatest luck in the world to get the only handsome man in the whole system, whom you wouldn't be disgusted to sleep with even for a second. You thought if you really should pay attention to Felix, fall in love with him, live with him… but you shook your head vigorously to dismiss that idea, it was almost impossible not to fall in love with him but you didn't feel bitchy and cynical enough to take advantage of his love and money at the same time. You knew it was cruel and that he should be looking for someone because you understood each of his signals, and it was obvious that he was crazy about you but among the boring and miserable life you led, his attention was the only thing that kept you motivated.
You couldn't sleep and little by little you convinced yourself more, sex with a stranger? It shouldn't be so bad, having the same amount of money as Hari? it was such a bright dream for you. You could pay off your debts, look for a better place, and free yourself from the visit of the little witch every week. Now you were curious… if it was really reliable and if all your information was highly confidential.
You didn't even check the time and sent Hari a message: «How high security are we talking about in that app?» She replied «I'll tell you everything tomorrow» you noticed your friend's excitement when you realized how quickly she responded.
Until the next day arrived and after work you visited her new and remodeled apartment. It was unreal, you were breathless, the beautiful view and large windows, the harmony of its decoration, it was so bright to be true that if you managed to have money in this situation that you were about to get into, you wanted to keep it realistic, you were afraid that from one day to the next, you would have nothing, so changing your life drastically without having a fixed support was not an option for you, it wouldn't be something long term, just something to get you out of your soon predicament.
They sat on the couch in her spacious living room which was almost the size of your entire apartment.
“Do you want me to manage your account just to verify the data and all that?”
You nodded, you weren't sure what you were about to do, but there you were.
“Okay, all your data is done, they'll send you an e-nail confirmation and let you know if you've been selected to enjoy the app's services. So…”
You swallowed, watching as they wrote all your data to a strange email, your name, date of birth, occupation, your measurements, your physical appearance, number of sexual partners, if you've had any STDs and attach evidence that you're 100% clean, history of alcoholism and smoking…
“I think it's illegal for them to ask for so much data.”
“Don't worry, it'll be worth it.”
“Are you sure I won't end up in… some dark business?” you whispered the last sentence, terrified and nervous.
“Noo, you'll get all the data from the men who want to hire you, even their address while yours is never exposed.”
“I don't know, Hari, men naturally lie.”
Hari chuckled softly, sensing your nervousness.
“I'll put up a picture of you and send it, and…”
“Wait, what?”
“I sent it” she looked at you proudly. “It can take 24 to 48 hours to respond.”
Hours passed, and you were heating up your dinner when a call from Hari interrupted your time.
“You got approved, it was really fast. I'll come to see you.”
She hung up, and you took your food out of the microwave totally bewildered. An hour later, amid the serene night with little rain, your friend appeared at your door with a big smile.
“Why are you so excited? I'm literally about to sell my vagina to wetpussy.com.”
Hari laughed.
“But that will make you a millionaire overnight.”
“Mm” you expressed in disgust and let her in.
“I can't believe it was so fast, they really want you. You have the option to put your real name or a fake one, your real name you can only give if you want.”
“Please, a fake one.”
You were really regretting it.
“What name should I put you?”
“I don't know, just not mine.”
“Cheryl, like darling in French” she wrote with a smile “…except I need pictures…”
“Come on, I sent you the best ones.”
“I know, and you look spectacular, but there's an option where the money goes directly to your bank account once they unlock the function to see your photos…”
You felt like she didn't finish the sentence and you were a little annoyed by the situation, it irritated you to know that you had to do this, well, you didn't have to, and no one was forcing you, but you decided to do it.
“And?”
“They're spicy photos.”
“Absolutely not, is it necessary to do that?”
“Your face can't be seen, and the money goes directly to you. Every time someone opens the option, you get paid ₩10 million, well, it depends on how much the app values you.”
You were in denial until you almost regurgitated your dinner.
“That's an absurd amount.”
“I told you I wasn't joking, I didn't know what they were based on but according to Chan, they're based on dollars or something like that, so for them, it's quite little.”
“Fuck, does Chan have more sugar babies? Because if he continues, he'll go bankrupt.”
“I told you they're not ordinary people and they have to specify what they want, if you ever feel like they disrespect you and don’t follow what was previously established, you have every right to fine them and report them.”
“And make it a public legal issue? No thanks.”
“Then…”
“Well, I guess I have nothing to lose by taking a few lingerie photos, without showing my face!”
[…]
There you were, in the mall at a lingerie store on your day off, trying to find the best pieces that scream “classy slut”, you were so terrified, it means they must be men with a lot of money and extreme loneliness and desperation, so the least you could do was pretend to feel sorry for them and look pretty in a nice set.
You were spending your money on something you hoped would soon multiply by millions, until the sound of your phone startled you because you were so focused that you felt like you were doing something illegal. It was Felix.
“Hey.”
“Hey, where are you? It's your day off, right?” he said.
“Yes… I'm at the mall.”
You couldn't lie to him, the music and sound of people were so audible.
“At the usual one? No way, I'm here too, I'm buying a birthday present for Olivia, I wanted to ask you to help me.”
“Well if you want to wait…”
“Where exactly are you? I'll come find you.”
You didn't want to see him, you felt so guilty accepting dirty money from strangers and not the one he always offered you in the purest way without asking for anything in return, you felt terrible.
“I'm at…” you looked around trying to find another store to run away when he's near, but you couldn't. “Buying lingerie on the second floor.”
You told him the truth, you didn't think he would come. And you've always been someone without filters, except when it comes to Felix, only with him do you have a soft spot. There was a little silence.
“Do you have a date?”
His voice suddenly became serious and his tone of enthusiasm vanished.
“Well, it's complicated” you grimaced but he couldn't see you.
“I'm coming over there.”
Felix hung up on you suddenly and you just let out a sigh; you couldn't guess where he was to calculate his time and leave the store and meet him outside, but you really needed that outfit, your last nudes were taken when you were in high school when you did your first sexting with a guy in your class, who was a nice guy, Kim Seungmin from your science class, you fucked him in the basketball gym closet and he never ever told anyone, nor showed your nudes; but the situation was already twisted enough without putting up your old photos from when you were a minor, plus the light and angles weren't fancy enough to be worth 10 million won.
You rushed to find something fast and before you knew it, Felix had already arrived.
“I like that one” he said in his deep voice close to your ear taking you by surprise.
You turned to see him, today he looked cuter than usual, he had his hands clasped behind his back and a small smile on his sweet face.
“Felix…” you whispered.
“So, what's the occasion? Who are you going to wear that for?” he mumbled.
He wanted to hide his irritation in a soft tone, but he couldn't, he was annoyed.
“Oh, it's nothing, I just have to update my closet.”
“Then buy whatever you want and I'll pay for it” you were about to speak and he gently raised his index finger in objection. “Is it bothering you that I'm here? I can leave you my credit card and wait for you outside.”
Felix looked around innocently, he was surrounded by women's underwear and women. You smiled warmly at him.
“No, actually you can help me.”
You liked to play with Felix a little, you adored watching the way his face would lift and light up all over, his ears would perk up a little and his round eyes would get bigger, as happy as a loyal puppy. Objectively yes he could help you, he was also an incredibly wealthy man, you thought maybe all millionaires shared the same neuron or tastes to get them turned on.
“I'm between this one and this one” you showed him the pairs you had selected.
“Take both of them. Or as many as you want.”
You wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you were suffocating to the idea of what you were going to do; you loved shopping but today….
“Come on, take some more, your closet won't be filled with just two” Felix added.
You smiled at him and chose a few more so he would stop talking and you could leave at once. Felix paid without any problem while the cashier looked at you with contempt and envy when she saw the pretty boy who accompanied you, slim, elegant, blond with long hair and an innocent face bathed in freckles.
“Thank you, Lix” you gave him a quick kiss on his soft, rosy cheek.
If Felix had a dog's tail, you were sure he'd be wagging it vividly and endlessly with happiness.
“Have you eaten yet? Let's go get something to eat…” he mentioned excitedly, turning to look at you.
“Mm, later, now I'll help you choose the gift for your sister.”
“Oh, yes, sure, what do you think, Cartier or Tiffany? Although Van Cleef is very fashionable among young girls. And maybe a Dior bag, I think it's her favorite brand; my father will give her her first Birkin so my bag will be like a toy, I don't know what to give her.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, Felix was talking and you were listening.
[…]
“Do you wanna go to my place? There's a movie I want to see. Only you would listen to me while I pause the movie every 5 minutes to make a comment.”
Felix spoke while he was driving, he looked at you out of the corner of his eye and noticed you distracted; you couldn't help it, you thought to yourself that you have to take good pictures and that maybe soon your pussy will be tasting a stranger's cock, for money, which made your hair stand on end. You came out of your trance when you realized Felix spoke.
“Yes, it's okay.”
You needed a distraction. And you missed movie nights —and commentary— with Felix, your best filmmaker friend.
“What are you doing on Saturday? You should go to Olivia's party, she's having a themed party after dinner with us; I don't know what her theme is yet, but I'll let you know. Olivia remembers you and likes you very much.”
Felix suggested trying to get your attention. You didn't even have to think about it, Felix's younger sister was a sweetheart like him, it was his older sister who was a tough crowd, you knew she didn't like you and that she thought you only hung out with her brother for his money, she almost fainted when she found out you were on scholarship and lived in a middle class neighborhood. It was enough for you to know that Felix drove you everywhere, that was too much for you.
“I'll think about it… I have a deadline this Sunday for a report.”
He pressed his lips together, knowing you were lying, but he didn't blame you, he thought maybe it would be too much pressure to meet his family.
“So… Are you going to tell me who you're going to wear that lingerie for? Is it someone from the university that I know?” Felix tried to be subtle, but he was dying to know who was going to touch you other than him.
You and Felix had almost done it for multiple times but you always stopped yourself, you couldn't do it because you were afraid he would do it so well and so sweetly that you would end up falling in love with him. He loved the way you made him completely horny, almost cumming in his pants.
And then you had a great idea, if you were going to get into that business you had to be cool and think it would only be a simple fuck, you wouldn't concentrate on anything but feeling a hard cock in your pussy… so you had to fuck Felix right now, there was no other way to prove you were an insensitive bitch than to fuck the only man you have ever felt love and respect for.
You tried to get flirtatious and quickly changed your mood.
“Maybe you're right, he's someone you know very well.”
You spoke slowly and seductively, staring at him, you must have recognized that you really have a very attractive best friend, he quickly noticed your heavy look and the change of mood, so he swallowed nervously and looked at you surprised with opening his pretty eyes in pity and that didn't help you at all, he looked fucking cute when he was like that.
“Oh yeah?” he added playfully looking sideways and running his tongue along the inside of his cheeks.
You moved closer to him and brushed his cheek with the tip of your nose seductively, while your left hand traveled dangerously from his thigh to his crotch where you massaged his growing bulge.
“Let's go to your place and you tell me what you think of each of the sets you bought me, for him.”
You noticed the irregularity of Felix's breathing, you didn't want to act clumsy and end up fucking him in the car, even though it was incredibly spacious enough… but you knew that when Felix was aroused and totally yielding to your charms and touches, he wasn't thinking clearly.
“Let's listen to music while we wait” you added amused.
You moved away from him and played music through the screen of his modern car, almost letting out a giggle, you didn't know if Felix hated you for that or was just turned on and, for him it was the second option, all the way he was uncomfortable with his pants drowning his cock, but he didn't know how to ask you nicely that if possible you could give him a handjob right there, to which he concluded that there was no decent way to say it so he waited until finally arriving at his pent-house.
As you entered the elevator you both kissed desperately, you almost smiled between the kisses knowing how much fun it would be to finally taste your best friend. Felix was holding all the shopping bags tightly, or at least he was trying to, he wanted to keep his hands on your waist and glued you to him, so once you reached his apartment, he let go of the bags and kept kissing you mercilessly, it felt so good, his warm hands on your waist, his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth and your lips joined with a huge appetite. You realized he wanted to take control and if he did, you would end up making love slowly and not just fucking, so you gently pushed him away, he saw you confused with puffy lips and a look of lust.
“Let me show you how good it all looks on me.”
You gave him a quick kiss and took his hand, directing him to the couch where he sat.
He licked his lips as he bit them, stretched out his arms and settled back, trying to ignore his throbbing sex. He loved the way you played with it.
You took the first piece of black full body lace lingerie. You undressed in front of him and slowly and painfully slipped it on, Felix was struggling with his immense desire to make you his.
“Help me.”
You dropped onto his lap pretending to have trouble putting the garment on, you were so wet, you wanted to feel him like you had never wanted to feel him before. Felix put his hands on your body and quickly reached for your pussy, pulling the tight, thin fabric away from your center and began to play with your clit. You moaned, losing control of your initial plan as you were surrendered to his touch.
You unbuttoned his pants, removing them and his underwear in exasperation. And there was your friend's hard, firm cock lightly lubricated in semen, as nice and thin as he was, it looked exquisite, and you were going to ride it so well.
“Felix, the condom” you practically begged.
He gasped at the touch of your hand and firm grip, “over there,” he mumbled pointing to a cabinet with a drawer, you thought for a second if he fucks regularly or why he had condoms in accessible and strategic places. You walked by the condom, feeling your wetness with every step and positioned yourself in front of him, your knees on either side of his thighs.
“You should take pictures of me, with each of the lingerie, exclusively for you; I want you to know that I'm really grateful every time you do something nice for me” you stared at him as you opened the wrapper.
You put the condom on him, you could see how gorgeous, red and swollen his cock was ready for you, and slowly, carefully pulling the fabric apart, you sat on it, inserting it and feeling every inch as you went down.
“Shit, y/n, move for me” Felix gasped.
You moaned as you felt it buried in your pussy and began to enjoy yourself endlessly, jumping on his erection as each squat made you lose your breath. Felix held you tightly by the waist, accentuating each movement. You gave yourself thrusts leaning on his thighs and, when you felt his cock throbbing and his body getting weaker and weaker indicating his orgasm, you hugged him on his shoulders and kept moving your hips and ass with agility.
Felix completely agreed that you would take control and held your ass helping you a little until, between gasps and almost crying, Felix finally cummed. You were so possessed by adrenaline, you could feel your orgasm so close, that you accelerated your squats and held your breath for a second until you finally exploded in a sea of sighs and glistening fluid.
You dropped your tired body on Felix's shoulder, feeling his scent and immediately regretted it, it had been amazing, but you always thought the first time you would fuck Felix would be so sweet, on a warm day, maybe in spring, involving roses and a date… not in such a dirty way on a cold October night on his living room couch.
“You know I like you a lot, y/n. Let's stay that way.”
And you said something really stupid, something you had no intention of saying. You wondered what he meant, whether to continue to stay like this fucking, or cuddling?
“I like you too.”
You kept hiding in his neck, you were a coward who can't accept that you were capable of feeling something for someone.
And if that wasn't enough to make you feel bad, he gave you the sweetest cuddles once you came out of his cock, he tended you carefully and told you how pretty you looked.
After that he took your long awaited pictures and after taking your last one, he made sure to reward you so well that he ended up eating your pussy.
You ended the night by taking a shower together, and fucking you again in there; you watched the movie while he commented on each annotation he made, but Felix fell asleep halfway through, in your arms. You didn't know what to do, you didn't know if you were going to continue that way with him and you still weren't ready to take the big step of accepting his money just because suddenly you go out and he gives you everything, his sister already hated you… what would people think; you cared more about your situation with him than about what they would think if I slept with a stranger for money situation, although, nobody had to know it was for money, if somehow someone found out, you could say it was just a fuck, you thought.
So, resigned to the fact that you still had to pay your rent, you sent the pictures to Hari, to which she quickly replied with a «wow! I got em» Thirty minutes later, a screenshot of what your profile looked like, it was embarrassing for you. «I'll be sure to get you the best deals😉», she wrote back.
The next morning you woke up in Felix's bed, wearing his clothes; he must have moved you and you hadn't even noticed, you reached for your phone and couldn't believe your eyes, notifications from your bank account app, you had received ₩ 40 million.
You were ready to tell Hari that you had enough with what you were getting just for the pictures, you couldn't believe it.
[…]
And, on the other side of the city, in one of the best, luxurious and exclusive hotels in the place, the hotel owner himself, the young and wealthy Hwang Hyunjin and his friend who fit in the same category as him, Lee Minho, were having brunch.
“Ah, Lee Minho, he can finally have brunch with you in his busy schedule” Hyunjin told him.
Hyunjin had arrived and Minho was waiting for him, sitting in one of the hotel's restaurants next to the large window with a view of the city. Hyunjin was more into art, but being the only son of his powerful father who owned hotel chains, he gave him that one right on his 18th birthday, since then Hyunjin has taken more than good care of it, and decorates it in his favorite pieces of art, his favorite part.
Minho stood up to greet him, shaking hands and a quick hug.
“Busy me? If it's you who's going around the country with your galleries” Minho replied, sitting down.
“I know, I know, it's unbelievable. Have you ordered lunch yet?”
“Yes.”
“I'll order the same” Hyunjin shouted to his employee as he sat in his chair facing Minho.
“Big day tomorrow, huh?” added Minho.
“Of course, you have to be there, I even left the presidential suite just for you.”
Hyunjin leaned back in his chair clasping his hands together with a smile on his face. Minho laughed softly.
“I don't get ready in hotels anymore.”
“Well, do it for me this time, like old times. Besides… you have a plus one to my gallery event.”
Minho's soft, amused look tensed a little when he heard his friend.
“Oh yeah? Well, I think I'll go alone.”
“In fact it's mandatory that you go with someone, so I got you that someone.”
“No thanks, I'd rather not go.”
Hyunjin smiled sideways seeing how cute his friend was getting when he was getting into his temper.
“It's a girl, but if you want a boy you have to tell me before tonight” he joked.
“Why can't I be your date then?”
“I'm sorry, I'm already going with someone tomorrow. But I think it's time for you to start seeing more people.”
Minho gave him a dirty look, he didn't want to have that conversation at their meeting after weeks of not being aware of their lives.
“I'm fine, I'm busy.”
“When was the last time you fucked someone” Hyunjin blurted out in amusement trying to smooth the conversation.
“It's none of your business.”
“I'll take that as you haven't done it in a long time.”
“If you care so much why don't you fuck me in the suite.”
Hyunjin laughed, gently touching his nose, though deep down he believed this was no time for joking… or at least it was a little since he didn't know how to tell him what he had to say.
“I would but you'd have to pay back every penny I spent on the pretty girl.”
“You paid money to a girl to sleep with me against my will? Artists are weird, I thought we were in the 21st century.”
Hyunjin couldn't hold it in anymore so he licked his lips and finally confessed:
“Soyul will be there.”
Minho's smirk left his face little by little and his heart almost stopped when he heard after so long the name of his ex-girlfriend; and that was exactly what Hyunjin was referring to and of the expression on his friend's part that Hyunjin feared for. He couldn't lie to him, Soyul was one of his biggest investors, she had to be present and he couldn't fool his friend; he knew he still wasn't over her, not even after two long years since their breakup; in fact, the idea of getting him someone started a few weeks ago, at their meeting where a drunken Minho confessed to him in tears the deep pain and misery he felt after the one he considered the love of his life left him. That was for Hyunjin the straw that broke the camel's back, he was not going to see his friend depressed.
“So?” Minho tried to sound nonchalant.
“She's going with her boyfriend… and I think you're still not over her….”
“And you decided to hire a hooker? That's why you left me the suite, isn't it, motherfucker?”
“She's not a-, well, if you don't want to fuck her, don't, just let her keep you company at my event.”
“Weren't the regular girls available?”
“All the normal girls in our social circle know Soyul and let's face it, they are very gossipy, it will be embarrassing for you for them to know that you haven't moved on with….”
“I can go alone” he interrupted him, he couldn't bear to hear him say his ex-girlfriend's name one more time.
“Come on, Minho, give yourself a chance, she is really pretty, she is an actress and…”
“A porn actress?” he interrupted him, not taking it seriously.
Meanwhile, their waitress was delivering their food and drinks, trying to act normal after overhearing the conversation.
“She's a real actress. I'll text you all her information. She's a Scorpio like you if you care about zodiac signs.”
Minho didn't answer, he didn't feel like dealing with anything else.
“They're freaky” Hyunjin poke as he picked up his cutlery, Minho frowned. “Scorpios. They say they’re good in bed.”
[...]
“I got wonderful news”
Hari suddenly appeared with a huge smile at your work.
“Hello to you too?”
“Can you take a break?”
“I'll be back in 5” you shouted and took off your apron to go out with your friend.
“I'm about to close a deal, I think you should have the money by now. You have to quit your job now, you have a date on Saturday.”
You were perplexed.
“Hari, what did you do?” you felt your phone vibrate in the back pocket of your jeans.
And there it was, your bank account with an imaginable amount, you opened your mouth in surprise, this was starting to get serious with an amount like that.
“I told you.”
“But who is it? What does he look like?” you didn't know how to react.
“Don't worry, they are Chan's friends, they are 100% reliable.”
“Is it more than one?” you opened your eyes in surprise.
“It's not… it’s complicated, a friend of Chan's, Hyunjin hired you for his friend Minho, who said he agreed, he just didn't use the app. I wanted to negotiate for him to pay for both of them but I guess he was pretty generous. Anyway, he just wants you to accompany Minho to Hyunjin's exclusive exhibition and pretend to be in a relationship with him for at least two hours?”
It was a lot of information to process, you didn't know what to say.
“Hyunjin will explain you more in detail but seriously you have to go otherwise you will be fined that same amount paid and a little more. You can leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable since apparently Minho has a strong personality.”
“Believe me, I'll leave as soon as I walk through the door.”
[…]
There you were on your Saturday night, standing in front of the door of a luxurious hotel, you walked in and met the handsome young man who was in charge of filling your bank account. You walked shyly toward him and greeted him with embarrassment. His dress code was clear: a short black dress fitted to your silhouette, comfortable shoes and normal underwear. He was going to dress you.
You looked at him, there he was, the famous Hwang Hyunjin himself from the large dynasty of the Hwangs, very influential people; he was taller than you, he had sharp eyes and thick lips, he was more attractive in person and he had to tell you the same.
“You look spectacular, chérie” he mentioned flirtatiously. “Come here” he invited you to come closer and you did.
You weren't a big fan of this, but you had to admit that something inside you grew and made you feel incredibly horny, the atmosphere of the hotel, the tense silence and the incredibly handsome man in front of you, in addition to your submissive behavior… rarely turned you on a bit.
“Do you want me to call you a make up artist or your make up it’s fine?” he gently touched your hair.
You looked up to see him.
“I think, it’s okay like this.”
You were nervous and slightly horny.
You did your best job with your make up and hair already, the make up was natural and elegant but still visible, matte nude eyeshadow, sharp eyeliner, elongated lashes, soft blush and lipgloss. Your hair was styled with soft waves.
“Great, so we don’t waste more time. You look beautiful already, actually you look better than the photos” he put his hands in his pants pockets and looked at you up and down biting his lip. “The dress is ready in the room, but you know what actually, bring it right here. Dress in front of me.”
Hyunjin was already aroused and was fighting his instincts to seduce and touch you, yet you were his friend's tonight, but he thought it only fair to see first what he had paid for. He sat comfortably on the couch and waited for you to return. On the other hand you were more than nervous and strangely agitated with excitement, that dark-haired man dressed in a tight suit all white because that was the theme of the party and finally there it was, a dress whose style and logo you could recognize so well. A white Versace mini dress that you assumed would fit to your mid thighs, you thought you had only seen that style in black so it was strange to see it in the brand's signature pearl white; until you saw the name Hyunjin embroidered on the label, was it designed for you? A shiny black Jimmy Choo silhouette heels, and a white crossbody bag from the same designer of the dress, you were speechless, so amazed that you almost forgot Hyunjin's request, he wanted you to change in front of him, then you saw something that terrified you, a beautiful white lingerie that went perfect under the dress, he wanted to see you naked.
You wanted it to be quick, almost like pulling off a bandit, so you tried to take everything and brought it close to him where you found him sitting on the couch ready for his little private show. You undid your black dress at the bottom so as not to ruin your hair and unthinkingly removed your underwear. Hyunjin was engrossed, he wondered why he didn't choose you, but for him after seeing your naked body. He was struggling as hard as he could to keep an erection from appearing in his pants, but it was too late.
You took off your low sandals ready to put on your underwear but he interrupted you.
“Let me help you.”
He took the garment and squatted down while helping you slide your panties to your area. Hyunjin enjoyed every second of the soft touch of your legs and then stood up to help you fasten your strapless bra. You could feel the tension in the air so you just bit your lip, resisting his hot touches and his warm breath on the back of your neck.
Finally you put on your dress and heels and you looked completely different, you never thought you would get to wear something like that to a type of event you don't frequent. You awkwardly moved the things from your bag to the new one and tried to regain your sanity.
“Something's missing” he spoke and grabbed your left wrist.
Hyunjin put on you the characteristic white clover bracelet with gold from the refined Van Cleef jewelry.
“Well, you've seen Minho. This is the key and it's two floors up from here” he added, handing you the access card. “I want to see the two of you together in the gallery, he may even could offer you the double of money so you can leave, but please, you have to go with him.”
Hyunjin now spoke in a commanding tone giving you instructions, his hot moment had passed, he had to concentrate.
“And please… let me know if you and Minho fuck, if the idiot doesn't touch you we can maybe go to…. how about Santorini?”
It seemed that you had your feelings locked in a box and that you acted according to a fever dream. You thought you were an actress and could get out of it easily, you just had to act. Your role was now about a rich girl wannabe.
You entered the room unannounced as instructed by Hyunjin and took a few steps forward until Minho heard the door open, interrupting his grooming time so he came out of his room wrapped in a towel and still with slightly wet hair.
“I didn't order room serv…” he said.
Minho stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at you standing there. You didn't know what to do, you were frozen in place; you looked at him, he looked handsome and was half naked, except for the towel covering his private parts, you couldn't help seeing him, his worked body, muscular arms but not exaggerated, his abdomen marked with a small scar above his navel and…. you felt bad but you thought he was looking directly at you too, his marked penis above the white towel. Minho smiled sideways at your nerve to look at him and could tell your mild surprise as you looked at his package, a valid reaction he thought.
“You're in the wrong room or are you lost?”
Minho could predict why you were there, after all you could only get in with the key. He looked at you sternly waiting for an answer. You took a breath and spoke.
“I will be your companion today at the art exhibition.”
Minho laughed and let out a breath.
“I don't remember ordering a hooker either. That fucker Hyunjin sent you, didn’t he?”
The term took you by surprise and you were offended, you were about to defend yourself when he continued speaking.
“Seriously, you can go, I'll pay you more than whatever that bastard gave you, just go” he waved his hands in a gesture for you to leave.
“I won't.”
“Will you make me call security?”
“Do it” you challenged.
Minho exhaled in annoyance and touched his forehead in concern.
“I'm going to kill Hwang Hyunjin.”
Without another word he went back to his room and thirty minutes later he came out ready dressed in a white suit with his serious expression. He looked at you for a few seconds with contempt as he passed by you and headed towards his door ready to leave, you ran towards him, leaving at the same time.
“I don't know what Hyunjin is up to but when I see him I'll…”
He was expressing himself annoyed until more people entering the elevator interrupted him.
“I'll get my car keys” he said to you indifferently as he walked away towards the hotel counter.
You followed Minho, keeping a distance; you glanced around, being able to see from the huge waiting room to the large entrance to the restaurant where you could also see and your heart stopped for a moment when you spotted a long dyed blonde hair sitting at one of the tables. You turned quickly, hoping he couldn't see you, but as if fate would have it, you managed to see him leave his seat and approach the foyer. In panic you slipped into the waiting room where you sat with your back turned.
Felix went straight to Minho.
“Lee Minho” he blond greeted him enthusiastically.
“Hey, Yongbokkie, what brings you here.”
Minho turned to look at Felix and frowned when he saw that you were no longer behind his back, he looked at you for a few seconds until he deduced that you might have finally run away, which made him happy and disappointed at the same time.
“It's Olivia's birthday dinner”.
“Oh, congratulate her for me” the blond smiled at him.
“Are you about to leave?” Felix said.
“Yes, I'm going to Hyunjin's.”
“Sure, sure, maybe I'll stop by later.”
Minho just smiled at him and asked a few more trivial questions about his parents.
“Mr. Lee, your car is outside waiting for you” the employee interrupted them.
“I have to go Felix, I'll see you later.”
“Of course.”
You were hiding, praying that Felix wouldn't recognize your hair and suddenly you saw him chatting with your 'date' for tonight, apparently they were friends so you felt more terrified, what if by chance Minho decides to tell Felix? Oh you would be ruined. After the short talk you saw Minho leaving towards the exit so once again you slipped away almost running to catch up with Minho. He was surprised to see you back by his side. Minho said,
“Mm, the night was just starting to get nice when I thought you had left.”
You gave him a dirty look and followed him to his car where you sat in the passenger seat. When Minho put on his seat belt he noticed the shiny gold detail on the strap of your dress, it was the medusa logo characteristic of that high fashion Italian brand.
“The bastard dressed you in Versace, you already look more like his than mine.”
You stood still not knowing what to say, it was maybe the first nice thing he had said to you during all your short time together.
Minho inspected you quickly, he was so upset that his friend didn’t lie, and just like Hyunjin said, you were a really pretty girl.
“But he didn't put earrings on you, if you're going to come with me you have to look your best.”
Once again he spoke in a resigned tone and arrived at Tiffany's jewelry store. Minho was resigned to the fact that you would accompany him tonight so he thought if you were going to make Soyul jealous, you really had to do it. Besides he had already inspected you, at first glance you were too pretty and that dress fit you like a dream so that speeded things up.
Once again, you had to go behind him and you entered the luxurious establishment.
“Good evening, Mr. Lee, how can I help you? Would you like something to drink?” the worker hurried to say to you once you entered, with a smile, looking quickly towards you.
You noticed how she looked at you in surprise since Minho hadn't brought another girl since two years ago when he was still in a relationship.
“Nothing for me in particular, I'm looking for earrings for women.”
“Of course, I'll show you.”
Minho followed the young woman and you followed Minho, who led you deeper into one of the display counters; you had come a lot of times with Felix every time it was a special occasion for his family since he had been raised among only women, he always offered to buy you some jewelry but you flatly refused. And now there you were, about to accept them from a stranger.
“Choose” he ordered you. “Quickly, I don't like to be late” he looked at his watch.
Timidly you leaned down to look at each one of the fine jewelry until a pair of gold diamond earrings in the shape of a flower caught your attention.
“These” you murmured to Minho.
The clerk stood waiting for his confirmation.
“I'll take those.”
He quickly took care of paying for them without looking at the price and they were finally delivered in their characteristic turquoise box with a white bow. He got into the car first and left the box there, you snorted for a second annoyed at how ungentlemanly and attentive he was, one second you felt like a princess wearing Versace and taking you to Tiffany & Co. and the next you had to run to keep up with him.
As soon as you got in, he said curtly:
“Use them, we're about to get to Hyunjin's.”
You watched him take the steering wheel attractively and noticed two boxes in between of you. You didn't know why you took the other one and Minho, noticing it, quickly placed his hand on yours stopping you.
“It's the other box.”
You looked at him, he acted a little strange; you took the other box and put on those sparkling diamonds. You had taken the old engagement ring that Minho bought for Soyul before they broke up, he was ready to give it up as it was of no use to him, it was made to fit his ex-girlfriend's finger.
When you arrived you saw that it was not a simple exhibition, but a chateau style mansion with many cars parked at the grand entrance, you got nervous, just like Minho, normally he didn't get like this but it would be the first time he would see Soyul accompanied by the man why she left him and also he had his first kind of date after so long.
Minho let out a breath.
“Well, we have to do it right. You're an actress, right? Create a character right now so we can both be on the same page.”
You didn't know what to say.
“I can change my name and….”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Which one is right for you?”
“Anything…”
“Choi Eunjoo… photographer from…”
“A place far away, what about Jeju?” he mentioned intensely, he was nervous.
You nodded. You had chosen the name of an inactive random actress who studied at the same university as you, who was a friend of Felix's mother and whose cinematography he forced you to watch while your friend argued how good she looked at her age. If they try to look you up for your name, they would be surprised to see only her and her inactive projects in the early 2000s.
“Okay, let's go.”
You both walked down the dirt road, once you came out of the darkness and Minho noticed people watching, he grabbed you by the waist.
“And what is your real name, Eunjoo?” he whispered to you.
[…]
It was better than you expected, you didn't imagine that there would be a construction like this in the modern city, you drank Champagne while you didn't leave Minho's side even for a second; after a couple of drinks you both relaxed completely and walked around the house and admired Hyunjin's paintings. This was maybe a normal Saturday for Minho, but it was for you a dream, you felt like Cinderella, once the clock struck 12 and the charm would be completely gone.
At one point in a room you both finally met Hyunjin, Minho came over to greet him and you shyly watched them chat, Hyunjin gave you a complicit look and smile, he hadn't seen Minho relaxed in years, sadly it was short lived as Soyul entered the room.
You noticed Minho's jaw tighten and saw where his eyes were fixed, on a pretty slim woman with the face of a celebrity. You quickly understood and walked over to Minho, linking your arm around his.
“You're here” she said to him.
She quickly looked at you.
“I'm still Hyunjin's friend.”
“Jung Soyul, nice to meet you” she introduced herself.
You held hands and Minho saw something that broke his heart once again, an engagement ring on her finger, suddenly the alcohol left his body, he felt sick, the suit was suffocating him.
“Choi Eunjoo” you smiled at her.
“So are you dating?”
Hyunjin could notice the sour look she had on you and that caused him satisfaction.
“Yes” Minho went ahead to say.
“I haven’t see you before, Choi Eunjoo.”
She said hypocritically, blinking repeatedly.
“Oh, it's just that, I'm an indie photographer from Jeju and… I met Minho and the rest is history.”
“Oh, now that's romantic.”
“More romantic than getting to know each other when you're in another relationship” Hyunjin added amusedly, taking a sip of his drink.
Soyul gave him a dirty look. And Minho didn't find it funny, he wanted to get out of there. Soyul knew him so well and noticed his expression, meanwhile you were analyzing the look of pity she was giving your boss, so you turned to see him, he looked serious and pale. You quickly approached his ear, covering your lips and whispered to him:
“We can get out of here if you want, pretend I'm saying something nice to you and smile naturally. You're acting weird.”
And so he did, Minho smiled softly; he hadn't felt the touch of another woman in years, suddenly your warm breath and soft lips brushing minimally against his ear pleased him.
“We haven't seen the whole exhibition yet, excuse me” he added, taking your hand.
You moved far enough away and, in a crowded room, he let go of your hand and walked out the large doors to what you could see was a balcony. You didn't know whether to follow him, but you did anyway.
He had unbuttoned his suit and a few buttons on his shirt, he felt suffocated. You saw him leaning against the white stone railing.
“Should I ask what's got you like this?” you said softly.
“You don't have to follow me around all the time” he added defensively. “Soyul cheated on me and now she is going to marry that motherfucker, what a great night to find out.”
You didn't say anything, you didn't know how to comfort someone and in a way, Minho was grateful for your silence.
“Well, once I say it out loud it sounds pathetic” he added.
“Hyunjin told me it was complicated for you…” you approached him and hesitated to touch him, but slowly rubbed your hand on his back, “that he wants the best for you and you start to meet new people.”
Minho let out a chuckle and watched you carefully, he hadn't given himself the task of observing how pretty you looked in that dress, under the moonlight, the way your eyes sparkled and how your lips looked so appetizing, Minho found himself losing his temper a bit for you so he quickly rejected any feelings and immaturely, he became elated and said:
“I don't know why I'm saying this things to a hooker anyway.”
He brushed off your touch and walked away leaving you absolutely lost and somewhat hurt.
The rest of the night you didn't find Minho and you were starting to get scared, you felt out of place, lost in a huge house, full of rich people laughing in their own social circle, you were so sensitive you wanted to cry, you wondered if Minho had abandoned you there.
You checked the time, past midnight and 5 minutes, it was time to go. You tried to look for a way out until you made it, you felt so embarrassed that you would ask for a cab but the signal on your phone there was terrible.
Suddenly you felt a big hand grab your wrist, you turned around scared and found the man you almost cried for tonight.
“Let's get out of here.”
Confused, he led you to his car and you parted on the road in silence. Minho had pondered all night and wanted to take the next step, to finally be with a woman other than his ex-girlfriend, but he didn't know exactly how to ask you.
As you merged into the city you realized he was heading in an unknown direction until you reached the hills in one of the more upscale neighborhoods and finally saw that he had taken you to his house.
You thought he was a selfish piece of shit and there were two options, suddenly he wanted to fuck you or he went home exhausted and sad and would let you call a cab to take you home. But what you didn't know was that he was cynically leaning towards the first option.
You got out of the car and now he was the one running towards you.
“Why that face y/n?” he said, approaching you.
You looked at him indignantly, suddenly he was calling you by name and wanted to have you close, you thought he must be drunk.
“Let's go inside, you have to be a good girl and thank me for the earrings, I'll make sure to buy you more pairs.”
He grabbed you by the waist, you noticed how his voice became gravelly, but that wasn't how you fell and he knew he said a couple of hurtful things but he didn't know how to apologize. You questioned whether you should play along, fuck him and call it a day and go home, as sadly you had to play along, or so you thought.
You stared into his eyes, those big dark eyes in a cute cat shape, he was attractive and from what you saw earlier he had a good dick, so you decided that if you would cry at least make sure it was worth it.
“What do you have in mind?” you rounded his neck and moved your face closer.
He smiled mischievously and, the next thing you knew, you were both in his home entrance devouring each other's lips. Minho had a lot of dirty ideas while he was away from you during the party, the alcohol made him horny. He took off his coat and untucked his shirt and undid his belt. He slipped his hands under your dress lifting it and shamelessly squeezed and massaged your ass, drawing you to his body where you began to feel his erection rubbing against you; Minho loved the idea of touching your bare ass since you only had tiny panties on, you moaned as you felt his lips and tongue on your neck, for some reason his mouth was so soft and you were a complete sucker when you were treated to a lot of physical contact during sex.
You parted and an act of lust, he sought to undo your dress and bra, he stared at you, semi naked for him and began to move his kisses down your breasts without breaking eye contact, it looked fucking good to watch him as he moved down your body and feasted himself on your tits until he moved down to your underwear and wet pussy. By this point you were panting and in need of action. His sharp nose brushed against your mons pubis and he slowly slid your underwear down your legs until he stripped them from you. He parted your legs a little and you felt his hot breath on your area screaming for attention. Minho took your pussy with his big hands and parted your folds, sticking his tongue out shyly and giving your whole pussy a deep, dirty kiss. You gave a little cry of excitement and didn't think you were capable of standing in heels while he ate you out.
Minho felt so good, with his thumb he stimulated your clit as you gave little spasms into him from your excitement. He noticed that you were becoming increasingly impossible to hold so he stopped, carried you suddenly upstairs to his room. Minho laid you down on his bed while he stayed on the edge of it finishing undressing himself. You watched the spectacle with excitement, from his notorious veins to his hands undoing buttons that looked tiny and finally his pants releasing his big firm erect cock, your heart raced faster just watching it, it was delicious, he was incredibly endowed, it was big and thick with notorious veins, you bit your lip thinking how incredibly painful but pleasurable that would feel in your pussy.
Minho saw your reaction and quickly positioned himself over you, he took your wrists and held them with one hand above your head.
“Did you like what you see, little whore?”
You nodded, unable to speak properly, if you tried to say anything it would surely be in a needy tone. You could feel him slapping your belly every time he came closer to you.
“You want it in your mouth?”
You almost screamed please, but before you could speak, Minho lay back waiting to be satisfied. On your knees and arching your back purposely giving him a view of your dripping pussy, you took his big cock and inserted it into your mouth tasting every vein. Minho sat up and began to fuck you with two fingers inserting them into your vagina. You are a mess, completely wet, with cum and saliva sliding down the corner of your lips, you didn't think it could have been better until you feel his hands on your hips and he tries to position you on top of him. You helped him a little and for the first time you were experiencing the 69 position.
You were panting between his big dick, your nose was starting to get slippery and little tears were coming out of your eyes. On the other hand Minho had his tongue deep inside you, he was tasting your labia, and stimulating your clitoris and from time to time he passed your wetness stimulating your exposed ass.
You stopped sucking him off when you felt your climax near, you sat up while resting your hands on his marked abdomen, only your gasps and grotesque sound of Minho devouring your pussy could be heard in the room, occasionally he would let out tinies 'mmmh' enjoying every second of you. You clung more to his abdomen and lifted your ass gently so as not to rest all your weight on him; you threw your head back blinded with pleasure.
“I'm gonna cum” you announced in a desperate, choked cry.
And just when you didn't think it could have been any better, Minho accelerated his licking and sucked harder, bringing you to the edge until you collapsed in his mouth. Your orgasm had been so strong that it hurt your abdomen a little.
You pulled away from him, embarrassed and soaking wet but Minho was more than happy. He leaned back on his elbows and wiped his mouth with a smile, it had been a long time since he had the intimacy of good sex, let alone eating such an appetizing nice pussy like yours, he smiled as he was satisfied that he was still excellent in bed.
You looked at his naked body again, his hard cock was needy and sensitive and within seconds you were horny again. Minho grabbed you roughly by the face and kissed you heatedly. He pulled away from you and with his hand made a motion indicating you to turn around, confused you showed him your ass and put yourself in four.
Minho without thinking caressed your buttocks and then spanked you hard 5 times in a row, each stroke exalted you and made you moan pleasurably, your skin was burning with pain, you could predict that your ass was thus as red as your riotous cheeks.
Minho played with your pussy a little, reinserting his fingertips, you saw him take a condom and within seconds you felt the latex on the tip of his penis teasing your entrance. Until you felt him slowly insert half of his erection and then insert the rest all at once causing you to let out a soft cry. You arched your back again as you gently moved your ass, adjusting yourself to his massive cock, filling your insides.
“I'm going to fuck you hard, kitten.”
He murmured and without warning and without mercy he began to ram you bestially making the sound of his pelvis slapping your buttocks resonate along with the sounds of your wet and well lubricated cunt. You couldn't help but moan every time he was inside, you felt like you were going to swoon all over him, it felt so good for you as well as for him, finally, the adrenaline and desire to fuck someone who wasn't as vanilla as his ex-girlfriend, Minho always liked to fuck hard.
You were in paradise, you were wearing diamonds and he was abruptly pounding your insides. Minho was holding you by the hips but soon grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled it, riding you wonderfully; his view was beautiful, he pulled his grip tighter and pressed you to his body, your back rubbing against his bare chest, you could feel his cock protruding from your lower belly, thrusting you hard. In one swift movement, he held you with his strong right arm whose naughty fingers pinched and stimulated your clit and with his left hand he began to gently choke you. He gasped from time to time in your ear “fuck” over and over again. You both synchronized your climax and you felt the grip of his hand on your neck getting tighter and tighter until you couldn't breathe, you adored it, you loved how your body was fighting for oxygen but at the same time seeking the culmination of your pleasure, your heart beat faster and oxytocin shot out of your system and in desperation you placed your hands on his hand on your neck, you felt every vein exalted from his strong grip.
You thought you were going to pass out but it was only your shuddering second orgasm, Minho slowly released you and cum on the condom still inside you. You ended up exhausted, racing and with your limbs trembling.
You had never been fucked so well that you almost felt the need to tell him I love you so you could have him forever.
The next morning you woke up naked, still in his comfortable bed. When you opened your eyes you found Minho buttoning his shirt, he looked all tidy and was getting ready.
“Are you going somewhere on Sunday?”
You spoke, hoarse and still asleep.
Minho turned to see you and smiled, he thought you looked cute with your hair in disarray and your face a little puffy, but after a second he regretted it. He refused to feel anything for you other than just desire.
“You have to go. The driver is outside.”
He told you coldly and walked out of his room, leaving you slightly heartbroken.
He was unbelievable.
#lee know#lee know skz#lee know stray kids#lee know smut#skz scenarios#stray kids#stray kids smut#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#skz smut#lee know x you#lee know x y/n#lee felix smut#kpop smut#Spotify
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He Protecc ; She Sit Pretty
How I imagine the LADS Men react to someone hurting/disrespecting you. Even though MC can very well handle herself in many situations there's nothing wrong with a protective man. [Requested by: Anon]
Zayne
Type: Stern | De-escalator | Don't Start Nothin' Won't Be Nothin'
If Zayne were to witness someone hurting or disrespecting you he wouldn't immediately resort to violence. His cold demeanor speaks for him. He would grab you putting himself between you and your attacker and with a voice as cold as ice "Is there a problem?" He's a gentleman he won't immediately fight someone barefoot in the streets. He'd remove you from harms way and assess the situation.
Zayne is not one to start anything, but when it comes to the one he adores he will in fact finish it.
He would let your attacker ramble nonsense before turning to you rubbing your shoulders telling you it's okay. He would turn back to your attacker and with a voice as smooth as silk with unwavering confidence "Now I'm sure this could have all been a misunderstanding however, if you'd like to put up a fight you’re welcome to settle this with me"
Rafayel
Type: Extremely confrontational | All fight no flight | Condescending
In an alternate universe somewhere Rafayel is a street fighter or mma fighter or something I swear. This man is all fight no flight he's not de-escalating shit he's matching energy. If he happens to see someone putting their hands on you he's grabbing their wrist and wrenching it backwards while they scream in pain "Who said you can touch her?"
If he catches someone disrespecting you don't even sweat it. He would make your attacker feel less than the gum stuck to the side of a trash can. He is not playing any games about you. If people want to go low he's going to hell. He doesn't care about anyones feelings except yours.
Xavier
Type: Confrontational | All fight no flight | Silent Threat
Xavier doesn't need to say much when protecting you. He immediately pulls you behind him and sizes up your attacker. His demeanor is as sharp as a blade. "Walk away" is his only warning if your attacker tries to pop off at the mouth Xavier is immediately summoning his hunters sword and in an instant showing said attacker he could have severed their head if he wanted to. His two worded warning was not a suggestion.
Sylus
Type: Condescending | Intimidation | All fight no flight
Attacking/hurting you: Sylus is turning them into black and red energy he don't have time for that. Stop playing in his face.
Disrespecting you: He’s walking up and grabbing you by the waist immediately asking “What’s going on over here?” He would make them feel as if he’s sympathizing with them before completely crushing their spirit with a devilish smirk on his face. He would have them questioning their entire existence in that moment. He’d end the conversation with a smooth “Let’s get going sweetie” pulling you along with him leaving that person with tears in their eyes.
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads sylus#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#nikaaaaimagine
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Thinking about how House and Wilson have complimentary (or is that awfully contradictory) modes of repression
House's repression is like a wall with seven million layers of paint on it, and he's adding to it fresh, each and every day. He knows damn well what's underneath it, but if he doesn't have to look at it, he doesn't have to deal with it. And this layering is extremely effective at keeping people out, because every time they think they've scraped through the last layer to the "truth," surprise, there's another coat of beige between here and genuine emotion! It drives people who try to love House crazy. (It is also part of why Wilson adores him--the eternal fixer upper.) But by the same token, trying to dig through those layers sometimes yields fragments of real feeling. Those broken, painful shards of admission, actual emotion sneaking through before being quickly painted over again. Lots of chances for the mask to slip, but also endlessly self-renewing.
Wilson's repression is a concrete bunker. He poured the foundations long ago and buried that shit so deep that no one, including himself, can ever find it again with anything short of a C4 detonation. This is why he's like "I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm normal there's nothing down there" and he means it because it's functionally true, he has built who he is on the absence of what he's locked away, until the pressure builds and builds and builds and then it's "AHH I'M THROWING A BOTTLE AT A MIRROR AND I NEED YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME" because the bunker has been breached and then. Among the ruins. Huh, was that me, I didn't know I was gonna do that?? Haha thank god you didn't take that seriously, because it was all a hoax. *Pours the concrete for a new foundation and buries those feelings like nuclear waste* This is what other people love about him (his smooth, well constructed surface) and what House loves about him (how much effort it takes to break, and how fascinating and unpredictable the results are when he succeeds)
At a meta level, I think the mis/match of these repression styles is a big part of what makes these characters' fascination endure. We noble netizens of fanficland have to do so much creative construction to stop House from frantically re-painting his vulnerabilities out of sight while also holding Wilson back from locking himself in the bunker, just to get them to have one (1) honest conversation, and that is just endlessly rich and interesting!
#house md#hatecrimes md#hilson#meta#oriley theorizes about twenty year old tv (instead of writing their diss)
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Husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley with a Pregnant!Wife!Reader
Headcanons and Scenarios
Am I back with baby fever? I mean yeah but this is less baby fever and more if Husband!Simon in honor of my first ever post that reached 1k likes in 4 days. Also you guys know Ghostie by now right? @connorsui mentioned that she wonders how Ghost and the reader met, guess who's writing about that?
Edit: SHIT, THIS POST HAS BEEN UP FOR SO LONG AND I FORGOT TO ADD CREDIT, I'M SO SORRY. The render above is by @ave661
Taglist: @puff0o0 @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @theredurzikdjinn @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb
Also @puff0o0, my most favorite moot has helped me come up with how they met, UGH ILYYY <333
My CoD Masterlist <3
Warnings/Disclaimers: Reader is pregnant, sick!Reader, mentions of vomiting (not detailed), pain of birth and all the other pregnancy warnings out there. (Extreme fluff)
❥ Husband!Simon who had no fucking clue how to react when you first told him you got pregnant, I mean he knew at some point it would happen but not this soon?!
❥ Husband!Simon who in your early stages of pregnancy was the one holding your hair up while you empty the contents of your stomach on the toilet most mornings. He was the one who had a warm hand gently rubbing up and down your back while mumbling light encouragements, careful not to agitate you from the sickening feeling.
❥ Husband!Simon who was gradually getting the hang of things, getting clingier the further into the pregnancy. Once the baby bump comes in, bye bye personal space, Dad!Simon needs to have his hand on the bump no less than 10 times a day.
❥ Husband!Simon who is a sucker for kissing the baby bump, especially your stretch marks. He will be more gentle if you ask him to because your ticklish, but don't expect none of his stuble.
❥ Husband!Simon whose breath hitches when you took his large calloused hand onto your baby bump and felt movement, he had to blink twice up at you and look down again. Only now it was two hands holding the bump, waiting for more kicks.
❥ Husband!Simon who lets you do all the shopping with baby stuff because he has no idea what looks cute, every once in a while showing you something he thinks looks good and asks for your approval.
❥ Husband!Simon who looks back up at you in concern as he hears you whimper, as much as he wants more movement and feel the little one kick, you were in pain and uncomfortable. Some soothing words might help..?
You let out a soft whimper as you felt the baby kick again, god did she have her father's strength..
Simon still had his warm and heavy hand on the bump, feeling the little one's movement.
"Pumpkin.. give your momma a rest, she needs some sleep" Simon sleepily mutters. Just like that the movement stops.
"I swear she only ever listens to your voice, it's obvious that she's already a daddy's girl"
❥ Husband!Simon who is more than obsessed with the baby bump, albeit his ear over the bump to hear the baby, big calloused hands always have to be some place on it. You'll just find your husband clinging onto your bump, his head on your chest while his arms are wrapped around the loves of his life.
❥ Husband!Simon who was far more panicked than you were during the birth, he literally cannot even pay attention to the pain of your hand almost breaking his from the gripping because his heart is pounding in his chest while you push out the baby.
❥ Husband!Dad!Simon who was trembling the moment you forced him to open up his arms so he could hold the baby. She's so tiny, her whole body almost fits in just one of his hands. The moment he held her, she stopped wailing, trying so hard to open her little eyes.
❥ Husband!Dad!Simon couldn't help but pull you up into his arms too because you couldn't move up from exhaustion. Your hand on the little one's body that was cradled by her dad, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders while he kissed your sweaty forehead, singing praises to you about how thankful he is that you brought life to your little girl together.
A/n: Hi guys, just to start off. I haven't been in a good space for a while now, I don't think I'm in the right headspace either. Not to say I'm taking a break, fuck no, I'd lose all my relevance if I did and I also think that taking a break from this won't be good for me or you guys because I don't want history to repeat itself.
If you guys don't know yet, I've been on the break in 2020 and didn't officially start writing again till 2023, finally entering a different fandom. I feel like taking a break would result into this whole thing again and I can't go through that all over again. I love writing so much and it hurt when I lost all my relevance on Wattpad.
My personal life outside of Tumblr is weird to explain, see things haven't been good regarding my situation with a friend. Neither do I feel good in school, everything in that place just sucks except for two other closer friends. There's still the dreadful 3 weeks left till Christmas vacation. Not only that but I get anxiety over so many things that may be little to most of you.
A mutual of mine so graciously has given me ideas for the next Ghostie posts, I love them, it's accurate and it's great and all however some part of me makes me feel so insignificant. Like why didn't I think of that? Why am I even writing if I'm just relying on other people's ideas? This is no shade to that mutual, thank you so much, hell I loved everything they told me. It's just always my anxiety and insecurities getting the better of me.
Apologies for the length of this. I'm quite busy and my clumsy fingers accidentally published something again 😭Anyway, more Ghostie content is on it's way :))
#cod x reader#aethelwyne lia writes#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#cod headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x you#ghost x plus size reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x y/n#dad!ghost#dad!simon#husband!ghost
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𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄 || 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
★SUM when you decide to break up with your boyfriend, you never thought you’d end up sleeping with his enemy.
SMUT!!!! Fem reader, one night stand turned lovers, oral (F and M receiving), sloppy make outs, cheating (reader and her bf are cheating on each other), mentions of drunk sex but it doesn’t actually happen, hangover sex, creampies, phone sex (readers bf calls and they pick up mid deed), Jack doesn’t give two shits lmao, he’s kinda switchy???, “I can treat you better than he can” trope, reader is a celebrity but her personal work is not mentioned, use of y/n, unhealthy relationships, Jack does not live with Luke in this fic, readers ex boyfriend is not named and can be whoever you’d like it to be.
WC of 3.2K, not proofread 😥
♪ Practice - Drake
“All I want to do is go out and you’re already acting like a bitch.” Your boyfriend says as he buttons up his shirt
“You promised this time we would stay in.” You said from your spot in the room as he shifts his eyes to look at you from the mirror and his brows furrow “so what? You want me to be inside all the time and be boring? I have a social life I have to keep up with, y/n. You can either stop being a pain in the ass about it and come with me or stay here by yourself.” He says as he walks out the room and with a heavy heart you follow him outside.
Sitting in the passenger seat silent he drives you both out to some random club with random people and quickly ditches you without even saying goodbye
Your boyfriend immediately left you in the corner as soon as you both got there, and there you were standing there like you knew you would be. Everyone's drinking and smoking who knows what and it makes your skin crawl at the fact that you have no clue who your even around right now.
"Hey beautiful. What're you doing here alone?" Some random creep says to you and you have to physically hold back from cringing into your skin, the alcohol evident on his breath.
"Sorry, I'm not looking for anyone" you say and quickly down your drink to move to the dance floor to get away. Bumping into strangers you realize the alcohol kicks in quicker than you thought it would. Eventually finding your boyfriend and rolling your eyes at the way he’s obviously flirting with another girl, you quickly realize you’re gonna have to find another way home tonight.
Trying your best to forget about your shitty excuse of a boyfriend, you very quickly start to dance with some random. Though the lights are extremely dark, you could tell he was handsome.
Told you he’s seen you around before, and than he’s been plotting on you for a while. His offering of a drink somehow turnt into you grinding against him and in the blink of an eye you’re stumbling into his apartment, drunk and insanely horny.
Lightheaded. That's the only word you could use to describe how you feel so early in the morning.
Forcing your eyes open you see the man who’s name is apparently Jack laying on your chest-knocked out asleep. You sigh and grab your phone to check the time: 5:30 am, you have a few notifications from the group chat you and your friends share; most of it just your friends being they’re usual crazy selfs with your other friends entertaining it.
Your hand finds itself into his hair, stroking it while he lets out quiet snores against you. The buzz from the alcohol must've followed you into the next morning cause you still feel so relaxed, head spinning but in a good way. You feel jack shift against you to pull you closer and you look down at him.
His eyes are on you now, mumbling a "good morning" while his hands run down your back and he presses a kiss on your collarbone. The action makes your heart flutter and you whisper "good morning" back to him, hand pushing the hair out of his face while he scoots up to lay his head in the crook of your neck.
“Jack, I really shouldn’t be here-“ “I know you have a boyfriend, pretty girl. I don’t care about him. He doesn’t deserve you.” He cuts you off with a mumble of the last part and you’re stuck in minor shock
You don’t protest his statement knowing that he was right. If your boyfriend can have some fun why can’t you?
You two have simple conversation, him asking what time it was and how you were and you responding. You scrolled through instagram seeing yet another picture of your boyfriend leaving the club with some random woman and he watched silently while rubbing his hands onto your waist. He suddenly hums and makes small pecks into your neck, kissing around until he finds a spot that makes you breathe a little heavier and leaning your head to the side so he can get better leverage at the spot.
"What're you doing?" You whisper, curious but making no effort to stop him. "Kissing you." He replied blankly, mumbling small praises in between the kisses. You move his head so you could kiss him on the lips— sloppily but passionate. He pinches your sides to make you gasp so that he can slip his tongue into your mouth, groaning into the kiss.
He moves a knee between your legs so you don't close them, moving your shirt up so he can kiss down your torso until he gets down to your pants. He looks up at you; asking with his eyes if he can remove them and you nod. He wastes no time taking your pants off and removing your underwear, dick twitching when he sees how wet you are.
'''S all for me?" He mumbles into your thigh and you nod again, breath hitching in your throat. "Use your words." He says, kissing up and down your thighs-both arousal and nervousness pooling in your stomach at the sight of him kneeled down in front of you. "Yes. All for you." You say, and you could barely get another word out before he begun to lick a stripe up your slit.
An audible gasp left your mouth while a groan left his, and your hand—that was previously holding your shirt up—flew to his hair and gripped onto it for balance.
"Why didn't you tell me you tasted so good?" Jack said, words coming out slurred due to him not bothering to stop the attack on your pussy. "H-when was I supposed to tell you tha- oh my god." you said, words getting cut off when his tongue circles your clit.
He's really eating you out now, head mushed between your thighs, licking and sucking every part of you his tongue can reach. You don't know how he became so alert so quickly, he just was damn near asleep barely even half an hour ago. The feeling becomes too much, you squirming around and him grabbing both of your thighs to bring you back to him, mumbling a "stay still for me" into your core as he continues.
It's only a few more moments until you get closer to the edge, whines and moans increasing in pitch as Jack inhumanly speeds up. " Jack, I'm close" you whine, and he just hums as he continues. Your thighs closing in on his head as you cum and him groaning, trying to practically drink it before you have to forcefully remove his head from your pussy. His eyes are low, filled with lust and you're panting, trying to catch your breath.
“I’m not done with you, pretty. Let me fuck that loser boyfriend of yours out of your head, hm?” He says as he drags you closer to the middle of the bed, near his now hard dick that was now very obviously poking through his shorts.
The fact that he’s not wearing a shirt makes this process much easier, as all he had to do was slide down his shorts and kick them off. You’re staring at him and you don’t know what to think right now, he’s huge. He looks at you for a brief moment before smirking, “you like what you see?” He says and your face gets a little hot when you realize you’ve been caught. He spits down into his hand and gives you a little show, jerking himself off and teasing his tip on your slit.
“I wanna suck you off” you suddenly blurt out and he can’t help but chuckle a little. “Next time, lovely. If I don’t fuck you right now I think I might explode.”
“Jack please don’t tease me” you whine and he kisses up from your collarbones to your ear, and whispers a beg for it into your ear. “Please, please, put it in. I need to feel you.” Was all it took from you before he put a hand next to your head and he was pushing himself into you.
He pushed in slowly, part of it wanting you to get you to the stretch, but the other part of it was for him to not cum quickly. “You’re so fucking tight y/n, god.” He groans out and you moan out when he finally bottoms out inside of you.
Jack doesn’t waste any time pounding into you as you quickly grab onto his shoulders for support. “Oh!” You cry out and he grunts in reply, “so fucking wet too. This turn you on? Having a real man take care of you like this.” He says as he grabs you by your chin so you can look at him and you sob out a yes for him.
“Feels so good, Jack. So full of you, fucking me so good” you whine out and he lets out what would seem to be a quiet whimper “keep talking to me like that and I’m definitely not gonna last long, baby.” He licks his thumb and brings it down to your clit to rub it in fast, tight circles that makes your jaw drop and your toes curl.
“Oh fuck! Jack!” You say as your back arches off the bed and he puts his other free hand on your back for support. “Come on baby, let go for me. Cum on this cock.” He whines into your neck and with a few more thrust you were creaming all over him. He keeps going and you quickly get overstimulated while he holds your hips down into the bed
“Just a little more, pretty. I’m gonna cum so fucking hard into you. Fuck.” He pants out and like he said, after a few more deep thrusts, he cums inside of you.
He gently lays on top of you as you both catch your breaths and come down from your orgasms. He kisses your temple and whispers about how he’s going to run you a bath and bring you some water.
“What am I going to wear? And as much as I would love to stay here I have to go home.” You whisper and he tells you not to worry about it, that you could take one of his shirts and he’ll take you home his self. You don’t object when he carries you to the bathroom and sets the water temperature to warm.
Begrudgingly getting out of jacks car and giving him your number, you grab your keys and walk into your very empty apartment. Usually you’d be upset, however this time you’ve never been more grateful. You wash your face and put on a movie to lay on the couch and rest.
You’re rudely awoken when your boyfriend walks through the door at 11:30 am and you don’t even bother to ask him where he’s been when you know exactly where he was.
“Hey babe.” He says and you hum a small “hey” back to him. He doesn’t even know you didn’t come home last night and you plan to keep it that way.
“What’s up with you? All relaxed.” He says and you shrug “I was taking a nap…” you say and he side eyes you. You don’t usually sleep unless he comes home but he lets it go as you were probably tired.
It’s been a few weeks of you and Jack sneaking around while your boyfriend doesn’t have a clue. And a part of you feels bad about it but then again he’s cheated multiple times and you’re simply not in love with him anymore.
Tomorrow, your boyfriend has a game against the New Jerseys devils which excites you because then you get to see Jack again.
“Why are you so happy to go? Never seen you this excited to see me kick some ass in a game before.” Your boyfriend chuckles as you mentally groan and put on a fake smile “just happy that I get to see my boyfriend play.” You lie straight out of your teeth, well not really. You are watching your boyfriend play, just not him. he smiles at your statement. “You know, recently you’ve been acting different. And honestly, I love it so much. You’re so much more calmer and it just makes me happy that knowing you regained that trust in me.” He said and you didn’t even respond. Just smiled like you didn’t know what was happening
“Only thing that’s pissing me off is that Jack kid” he says and you freeze. “…What do you mean?” “I mean like, he’s just some pretty boy who thinks he’s the shit. Thinks he can do whatever he wants and tonight I’m gonna beat his ass in this game tonight to show him who’s boss.” You don’t say anything once again and you’re left with your thoughts while your boyfriend flips through the tv to find a channel to watch.
By the time you left the house, your boyfriend was already on the ice getting ready to start his match. You’re about to sit down next to your friend when a text comes through your phone.
Jack 🤍
Come meet me after the game.
You shoot back a 👍 before putting your phone down and talking with the girl beside you.
It was obvious who was going to win. A devastating game for your boyfriend with a 4-0 to The new jersey devils but a celebratory one for your affair partner. Your boyfriend doesn’t even look at you, just gets in his car after taking off his gear and goes home. You don’t even care anymore, and after you see all the boys leaving the opposite teams locker room, you text Jack asking if it was okay for you to come to his apartment and he immediately sends a yes.
You walk into the place and immediately you’re hugged by him, which sends butterflies to your stomach and a bright genuine smile to your face.
“Missed you, gorgeous. Saw how I kicked ass out there?” He says as he pulls away to look at your face and you smile even harder “I did! You played so good, super proud of you” and he gives you a deep kiss as you both giggle.
“You have to stop! What if you leave a mark?” You whisper laugh and he nips at your ear “don’t care anymore. Let them know how much I love you.” He says and you suddenly feel flustered “Jack….” “Y/n. You don’t have to be with him anymore. I can take care of you so much better than he can and you know that.” He says with so much seriousness in his voice that you’re left speechless
“Jack-“ “I genuinely love you. seriously. I want to be with you.” He says and you have no words so you just kiss him again. The kissing turns into him pinning you against the wall and the grinding and groping is very evident.
“Take all this off baby. I need you right now” he says as you’re quick to push him down onto his couch. “Not this time. It’s your win. Let me take care of you” you say and he whispers a fuck while his eyes run along your body.
You take off your top and after a few minutes of kissing and grinding, you drop to your knees and he lets out a gasp of pleasure at you palming him.
You unzip his pants and he’s breathing heavily, anticipating what you’d do next. You spit onto his dick and roll your hand around it for a few strokes before giving gentle kisses to his tip.
“Baby don’t tease, thought you were taking care of me?” He whines out as you giggle “I am. Be patient for me.” You say and his next words fall flat on his tongue as you start tonguing his head.
Finally granting his wish, you dip your head down and take him fully down your throat. Your cheeks pulling in to suck him tighter while your head dipped up and down. A groan of surprise leaves his mouth as his eyes immediately become hooded.
“Fuck, angel. Such a nice mouth you have on you” he groaned out. But his muttering and whining was quickly cut off with the way you sloppily put your tongue on his balls
“Holy shit. Oh my fucking god baby. You’re incredible” he moans out as you continue to jerk him off while popping of on his balls out of your mouth and moving on to the one beside it.
You took him back into your mouth and your hands worked around what you couldn’t reach, the head of his dick kissing the back of your throat in a pleasureful burn and you can feel tears swelling in your eyes when he gently grabs your head and begins to start fucking his full length down your throat.
His moans and whines become more desperate every second and it’s obvious he’s close to cumming. Although you’re enjoying your time here, your phone suddenly starts ringing. It’s your boyfriend. Jack groans out partly in annoyance and in pleasure and then he gets an idea. “Wanna show your boyfriend how pretty you look when I cum down your throat.” He almost cries out and you moan around him “please baby, can I pick up the phone at let him he- oh fuck, let him hear how well you take me?” He says as he struggles to keep his composure with the way you’re deepthroating him, cutting himself off with his own moans
You hum in approval and Jack doesn’t waste any time picking up that phone and putting your boyfriend on speaker.
“Hey. Where are you-“ and all that’s heard is a loud gag through the room and the sloppy noises of your mouth on jack’s cock.
“Fuck baby. Keep going please. I’m so fucking close, oh my god.” Jack says as he throws his head back, face flushed and neck red as you hold his hips down and begin bobbing your head up and down again.
“Y/n?! What the fuck is happening?! Who is that?!!” Your boyfriend frantically says as Jack takes the phone. “She’s a pro at sucking dick. Honestly I have no clue how you could even let her out of your sight” Jack grunts out and hangs up the phone, not even wanting to bother with him right now.
A few more bobs of your head and Jack is cumming down your throat. Chest heaving as he does so. “Oh fuck, you’re so perfect, holy shit.” He whines out and you’re determined to clean him up completely, continuing to suck him off until he was completely finished
“Fuck- you trying to kill me over here? God” he says with a small laugh as you finally pop off his dick, catching your breath.
As you and Jack bask in the afterglow, your boyfriend is blowing up your phone and before you can reach for it, Jack stops you.
“You don’t need to worry about him anymore. You’re mine now.”
© copyright of ilythena. Do not repost or translate onto any other websites.
#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes smut#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#jack hughes#jack hughes x y/n#new jersey devils#ꨄ angie’s works.
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ahead, ahead
poe dameron x reader
summary: “We– You’ll never settle down, Poe. We both know this. And neither will I, as long as we’re in this.” Your eyes rake over his face, his eyes softly fluttering with hurt when he averts his gaze from you. “It'll never work.”
or; your fear of the future forces you to reject the man you love.
warnings: rejecting poe but we're not actually truly rejecting him (who, in their right mind would reject this man), talks of the war, of being scared of the future, extremely brief mentions of an injury, death and grief
tags: gn!reader, idiots in love, angst, fluff, celebration, kissing, idk man I hate tagging this stuff you'll see
word count: 2.9k
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
lmao hey I'm back ig if this fic doesn't hit ten thousand notes in 48hrs I'm dipping again
The night is fairly quiet, save for the occasional crackle over the comms. You and Poe are tucked away in an observation post, overlooking a seemingly endless empty desert; it feels like you've been here for hours, time blending now that the only light around is the shining stars and the small dots of your devices.
Poe lightly clears his throat, breaking the comfortable silence between you. “You can't go away from any conversation right now, so,”
You shouldn’t even be surprised that he can not keep his mouth shut for longer than three minutes. “Why won't you let me take you out on a date?”
You sigh. “Poe, not now.”
You can feel his eyes burning holes through you, knowing exactly what gaze he’s using on you, knowing his big, warm, pleading brown eyes will have the exact effect he intends to cast over you if you happen to turn to him.
You keep watching ahead, trying your best to ignore his too obvious firm gaze over you in your peripheral vision, feigning focus on trying to notice anything unusual in the broad land of sand ahead of you. He makes it really hard.
“What? Perfect situation to talk about this” he says, his gaze on you unwavering. “For me” he shrugs with a teasing smile.
You bite the inside of your cheek, hoping that your silence will make him drop it. But he’s Poe Dameron.
“Tell me. Tell me why. I genuinely want to know your reasons.” he says, leaning back into his seat. “Hurt my feelings if you have to. I just wanna know”
You can feel the pressure starting to pull down on you. You know he won’t let it go, but you also don’t want to hurt your friend while you’re stuck with him for what could be hours.
“So what, because no one ever says no to you you can’t take someone rejecting you?” you scoff, turning to him before you check the comms again though you know there’s nothing new.
He laughs, a choked, startled laugh. “We both know it’s not that. You kissed me”
You sigh, tension coiling tight and your heart leaping in your chest as you set the comms down again, at this point begging the maker for something to happen, maybe even for a First Order ambush just to get you out of this conversation. “Maybe I was just pitying you.” you mutter under your breath, busying yourself out of it by picking the underside of your nails.
“Oh, you were shitting your pants at the idea of losing me. That's why you kissed me. You were so scared I might be dead you ran to kiss me when you found out I wasn't.”
Your eyes close wearily. He’s on point.
“And you almost could have chipped my teeth with how hard our mouths clashed, so,” he trails off. “Come on. Why won’t you tell me? I really just wanna know. I can handle it.” he murmurs, more softly this time. Your head shakes as you tut impatiently. His gentle tone doesn’t make it less painful to be in this situation. “I promise you won’t hurt my feelings, you already kinda did anyway, so I guess I’m not really–” Poe stops when you suddenly grab his arm and hold a finger up, your eyes widening as you freeze.
“Listen”
Poe halts and goes silent, alert to any sound around, any faint wind breeze, any footstep, anything.
“...I’m not hearing anything” he declares after a while, eyebrows furrowed.
You recline into your seat, releasing your grip on him. “Exactly. How peaceful”
He lets out a soft, bitter chuckle and looks away, into the waves of sand, pretending to get his focus back onto the task at hand.
He finally, as you wished, lets the tight space be silent again, but after a while, you come to admit that the heavy silence is arguably more agonizing than having Poe run his mouth about something you don’t really want to talk about.
“You'll always care about the Resistance more than you could care about me.”
“What?” Poe scoffs and glances back over you, eyebrows raised. You give him a small shrug. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”
Your gaze darts to him before you look back out the window at your side. “It’s not even a bad thing, it’s who you are, and that’s why people follow you, that’s why I follow you, but–”
He stares at you, his gaze burning through you again, caught somewhere between confusion and frustration. “But what? What makes you think that?”
You can hear the startled hurt in his tone, the clear bewilderment, the clear need and urge in him to argue.
“You're a busy man. You're always on the run–”
“So are you” he cuts you off.
“That's what I mean. We’re both so busy with this– this endless fight. We barely have time to sleep, let alone,” you gesture vaguely between the both of you, catching the pleading gaze you were desperately trying to avoid earlier, hoping he will get what you mean without you having to say it out loud, without having to stab him right through the heart once again.
“So what?” he insists, his tone firmer. “We both know that. That’s part of the deal. But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t make it work”
You shake your head, sensing it will only keep going down from there. “We– You’ll never settle down, Poe. We both know this. And neither will I, as long as we’re in this.” Your eyes rake over his face, his eyes softly fluttering with hurt when he averts his gaze from you. “It'll never work.”
The thick silence painfully grips at your throat, and just when it feels Poe might start to speak again, the comms crackle with a signal, alerting a presence on the grounds.
You stand up and gather the stuff you need, the mission you let aside needing your full focus again, and as you take your blaster out of your holster, you can still feel Poe’s lingering gaze over you, your chest tightening in a sense of guilt you’ve never felt before.
—
It’s spontaneous and unconstrained when you fall into Poe’s embrace, but you do, and it’s like nothing ever happened in that observation post a few weeks ago. Your hands fist tightly into the fabric of his flight suit while you're still careful not to press yourself too close against his wounded arm. The general hubbub of celebration is rumbling on the ground of Ajan Kloss, thrumming through the air, and you can only feel relief as Poe’s hand cups the back of your head, pulling you closer into the embrace. For a brief moment, you just stay here, mingling with each other, breathing him in like you didn't completely push him away the last time you faced him.
“Are you okay?” he asks when you pull back slightly, looking you up and down, eyes raking through as he searches for any sign of injury.
“Are you?” you ask back, eyeing his arm wrapped in a cloth and held against his chest by a sling.
He shrugs, grimacing as he quickly waves it off, trying to downplay it. “That's fine. Nothing I've never seen before. I got things to celebrate before I start whining about this” he grins.
He smiles wider when he sees your smile, your cheeks warming up as his gaze lingers over you, taking in every detail of your face. You have barely been able to catch each other for longer than two minutes outside of missions these past few weeks, so knowing he will now be able to see you for maybe three minutes longer now that the galaxy isn’t at stake anymore brings another layer to the wider sense of relief of this war being over. “I’m glad you made it out alright” he says quietly, his voice just loud enough for you to hear over the noise.
“Couldn’t have done it without such an amazing leader” you tease, and he lets out a genuine laugh, shaking his head, but your own laughter fades as he gets cornered by his fellow squadron pilots, pulling him away from you.
You smile when you see his eyes crinkle as they cheer with him, and you give him another smile and nod when he mouths you a quick apology as they drag him away.
—
You stare off into the distance, a small smile tugging at your lips when from afar, you notice Finn being swirled around by Rose, all smiles.
There’s a bittersweet feeling to this, all of this. It’s supposedly all over, but you also have no idea what to expect for tomorrow, and the next day, and all the ones after that, and the idea is terrifying.
You put your glass down beside you on the crate that serves you as a bench, turning when you feel a presence approaching.
“Hey” Poe smiles, sitting by your side on the wide crate.
“Hey,” you reply, a hint of tiredness in your voice though his presence lifts you up a little.
“Overwhelmed?”
You scoff, giving him a half nod, barely a tilt of the head. “Yeah, you could say that”
He gives you a nod of comprehension, staring off at the loud, joyful celebration in the distance.
Puffs of dirt are flowing off the ground from being beaten by dancing feet, the particles visible from the strings and poles of lanterns set up for the occasion, revealing the figures of people overflowing with energy though that layer will peel off and reveal the true exhaustion stemming from the battle soon enough.
The night is warm, making sweat cling to skins, making tears of all kinds short-lived, visual proofs of joy and grief drying and disappearing quickly.
Poe’s gaze turns back to you, his hand settling over yours. “You should join us. You shouldn’t be staying by yourself at a time like this” he prompts, lightly nudging your side, a gentle smile on his face.
“I will, eventually” you nod, glancing at a couple linking foreheads, swaying side by side. “Just having a moment,” you chuckle softly, bringing your glass back to your lips.
“Ouh, okay” he teases, begrudgingly removing his hand. “Mind if I have this moment with you?”
“Sure,” you scoff, silently offering to share your glass with Poe, disposing of it again when he silently declines.
“So, what now?” he questions, a renewed brightness filling his voice. “What are your plans now that this war’s over?” he asks, eyes roaming along your figure.
You take a deep breath, clearing yourself of a discomfort you barely realized had been smothering your chest. “I don’t know. That’s what’s terrifying” you admit. He hums in agreement, nodding. “But maybe I’m gonna apologize to a certain pilot I pushed away first” you grin, glancing at him, meeting his eyes that crinkle in the corners as he smiles. “I wanted to apologize earlier. Before they snatched you away to worship you for your feats” you tease.
He scoffs. “Sorry. Busy man as you said”
“Yeah” you exhale, taking a sip of your drink. You lick the liquid off your lips, before looking back at Poe. “I was too harsh on you. I didn’t mean to hurt you”
He gives you a single nod and a forgiving smile. “I know. We don’t have to talk about that”
You shrug softly, averting your gaze from him again. All those people cheering and laughing and kissing could have been you and Poe instead of that slightly awkward tension between you, in a parallel reality where you hadn’t pushed your pride to the first plan, leaving your feelings behind.
You glance at him, at the way his brown eyes catch the warm glow of the lanterns. “I wanted to kiss you again” you admit, in a faint murmur. “When we came back winning.”
Your gaze falls to your lap, your fingers drumming against your glass as you feel the weight of Poe’s gaze over you, attentive to your every word. “But I didn’t want you to think I was playing with your feelings and being cruel again, just the way I was in the observation post”
Poe’s gaze softens, his hand closing as he tries to keep himself from reaching for you again. He nods in understanding, unsure how to go on from this admission.
“It’s not about cruelty,” he mutters, still looking at you. “It hurt because I knew you were scared. And I didn’t know how to make you not be.”
Your heart tightens inside your ribcage, your eyes briefly closing at his words. You nod, having to admit he is probably right. Scared of losing any more people you love, for the cause that has already taken so much from you.
Scared of losing him when your feelings already weighed enough on you.
“Hey,” he calls, tearing you out of your knot of blooming thoughts, nudging your knee with his own. “That’s why we’re here tonight. Because we made it” he nods. “We're all supposed to be less scared now, to enjoy the celebration and to properly take time to process our griefs.”
A faint smile grows over his face when you rest your head against his shoulder. You try to ignore the tears threatening your eyes.
“So things are supposed to be quieter now, right?” you question quietly, feeling his arm wrap around your back.
He hums in reflection. “There’s still a lot to do but, yeah, supposedly”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Always”
You let out a small, vulnerable sigh. “I never thought this day would actually happen. It was just a distant vision” you confess. “And now that it’s here I don’t know what to do”
He slightly tilts his head, glancing at you without dislodging your head from his shoulder. “You’ve never fantasized about what your life would be like after the war?”
You stay quiet for a bit, thinking about it. “Not really. Not seriously. Mostly because it didn’t really feel like this day would come, and now everyone knows what they want for themselves and I feel completely lost”
He nods. “You don't have to figure it all out now. The Resistance still has lots to sort out” he affirms, his thumb idly caressing your arm. “But you can think about it differently. You have every option now. You can start again” You pull your head away from his shoulder, considering this point of view as you grab your drink to finish it. You hum softly, rubbing your eyes when you let go of your drink, trying to chase the lingering doubts away.
“Come on, we should join the others” he clutches your shoulder before standing up. “And you need a refill”
You nod, looking back at your empty glass, propping yourself onto your feet. “Poe, wait” he turns back to you, an expectant curiosity painted over his face, watching as you step closer to him.
“If you asked me out again,” you say, a playful smirk forming on your lips. “I’d say yes. It’d be part of my new life”
His grin widens as he fully turns to you. “Oh yeah?” he asks, an eyebrow raised and a teasing edge to his voice.
His eyes roam over your face, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as you nod. “Yeah”
He steps closer, the space between you shrinking as his hand brushes yours before he holds it again, this time more deliberately and more confidently. “You should have. Kissed me” he murmurs as your gaze darts to your linked hands then back to him, unable to repress the smile growing onto your face.
“I know,” you chuckle, watching him let his fingers intertwine with yours when you don’t pull away, his touch firm, grounding you with a peacefulness you haven’t felt in what seems to be ages. “But who says it's too late?”
“If I was that petty, I would” he grins, a teasing glint in his eyes, but the warmth in them conveys the playfulness of his words.
You lean in to kiss him before either of you can overthink it, your free hand instinctively grabbing at the back of his neck like he can somehow still slip away from you, your fingers burying in his mass of hair damp from the heavy atmosphere.
His hand slides out of yours to cup your face and the kiss lingers, warm and unhurried, neither of you caring about the laughter and music of the celebration in the background. When you finally pull back, your foreheads touch, and you see the playful grin on his face that makes your chest ache with fondness. “Took you long enough” he teases.
“You’re so desperate” you shoot back, your tone lacking any real bite, significantly softened by the smile that refuses to leave your face.
“You were hard to get.”
“Alright, okay” you scoff, your hand sliding to rest against his torso, adjusting the collar of his shirt on the way.
The teasing slowly fades from his face, his hand reaching up to cover yours over the rise and fall of his torso, gently closing around your fingers
“I’ll make time for you.” he says, his voice low and sincere. “Between work, flying, building everything we’ve lost and our lives again… I’ll make time for us. I promise”
You find yourself nodding, swallowing his every word, blindly trusting him; because if there is one thing you know for sure, it is that Poe Dameron never makes empty promises.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you had been holding, and for the first time in what feels forever, moving forward doesn’t seem as terrifying.
—
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#poe dameron#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron fanfiction#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron fic#poe dameron x you#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron fanfic#poe dameron fluff#star wars#oscar isaac
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Haiii i hope you are doing well !! ^^ can you make a fanfic about possessive and jealous taiga? if youve written it before can you make a part 2? Thank you in advance ^^
I don't know if this is exaaaactly what you wanted but I got possessed by the yandere ghost and wrote this so I hope you like it ( ˊᵕˋ ;)
Warning: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! Extreme yandere behavior, possessiveness, obsession, blood, injuries, all that insane thing that comes with yanderes and Taiga too tbh.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT CONDONE YANDERE BEHAVIOR IRL, this is all fictional please!!!!!!
The switchblade passes swiftly through Taiga's fingers as he toys with it, mind and face blank while his unfocused gaze is locked in your direction.
He isn't properly looking, but you're there, subconsciously in the forefront of his mind, while he swims in the muddied waters of his memory.
Most days, Taiga doesn't give a shit about his memory. His life is eat, kill, gamble, sleep and repeat repeat repeat repeat. Why should he care? Does anything even matter? His life goes on, aimlessly, static noise ringing in his ears as he drags himself to the inevitable end.
Right now, however, his memory is being a royal pain in the ass.
He aggressively rubs his face with his hands, groaning impatiently, trying to get the information in the depths of his mind.
And you whine, helplessly, afraid of every sudden movement he makes.
Taiga's head snaps at your direction, gaze finally focused.
Ah, yes. Yes.
He had already forgotten why he was even searching for a specific memory, but noticing you, trembling on his torture chair, he remembered.
Taiga gets up from his seat on the foot of his bed and grabs a chair, wood loudly rattling against the marble of his floor before he places it right in front of you.
You weren't even bound, yet you trembled like a little mouse. His chest frustratingly tightens and aches at the sight. He sits in front of you, mouth agape as he looks at your sweaty face from under his eyelashes.
The switchblade is still on his fidgety hands. He opens and closes it, opens and closes.
You flinch at every little sound it makes. It could make him laugh, if he wasn't so concentrated.
Right now, Taiga thinks of love.
Or rather, he searches his poor memory for any instance of love he might have felt in his life before.
He comes up with faint whispers of something that resembles it – something old and long gone, something pure and pretty, something that felt like large soft hands raking through his hair as he slept peacefully.
But it's wrong. That is not what goes on inside his chest right now. What swirls in his heart is tumultuous. It's loud and destructive like thunder and lightning. It feels like possessive hands, viper-like tendrils wrangling his heart, egging him to do the same with yours.
His base instincts tell him to call it love, but he isn't able to compare it to anything else he has ever felt in his young life. He doesn't know whether or not this crippling obsession could ever be called love.
Taiga stares at you, silently. Sharp eyes that could cut into your skin and leave you bare open for him to devour like the anomalies he covets.
When he doesn't speak, you swallow hard and loudly, gathering all the courage you have left inside of your body.
"I don't know why you're keeping me here, Taiga... B-but if I did anything that upset you, I apologize." you whisper. You feel like you're trying to bargain for your life with your very own executioner as he holds the axe over your head.
Taiga leans back on the chair, closing the switchblade for a final time.
"Or... Or if you need my help with something, I can help you. Just please... don't threaten me like this."
"Threaten?" He tilts his head to the side before barking out a loud laughter. "I'm not threatening you."
You furrow your eyebrows in disbelief.
"I didn't even bind you to the chair. Come on. You're all free to move." he says with a smirk.
You make no movement. You're pretty sure he would shoot something (probably you) if you tried to leave, just like he has done plenty of times before when something doesn't go his way.
"I'm trying to understand" he says, opening the palms of his hands before crossing his arms.
"Understand... what?" you ask.
"You. Me. This." he motions to the both of you.
You keep your lips sealed, waiting for him to continue, completely lost on whatever could he mean.
"Say." he leans towards you and licks his lips with a gleam of amusement in his eyes. "I think I'm in love with you."
Taiga laughs loudly once again.
You deadpan. You feel your heart dropping down to the confines of your intestines and your skin gets unbearably cold out of nowhere, with goosebumps painfully pricking your arms. You fidget uncomfortably in your seat; instincts telling you to run run run – but you don't follow them. You know his golden gun is always right there, ready to shoot between your eyes.
"Look at your face! You should have seen your face! You look so fucking scared!" he says between giggles and, if he wasn't so dangerous, you could close your eyes and imagine him being a normal man who laughs in a boyish way for normal reasons.
"I'm not joking though." he adds with a grin before you could even think of relaxing.
"I think I want to keep ya." he murmurs, scratching his chin. "Wanna make sure no one else is gonna try to put their hand on ya, y'know?"
"Taiga-" you begin to plead, but he shushes you.
"Nah, don't even start. Too many assholes 'round here tryna hog your attention. Y'think I didn't notice?" his eyes harden and you purse your lips, preventing any reply from inadvertently leaving your mouth.
He gets up from his chair with a sigh and stretches nonchalantly.
"I was tryna figure things out just now, y'know. Like, 'do I really like you?' and all, but aaahhh..." he scratches his head aggressively, pulling a few strands of his red hair loose. "It makes my head hurt. I don't remember if I ever felt like this before. I don't care though."
He turns on his heel and leans forward, placing his hands on the chair's arms, successfully caging you under his body.
"I like you and I'm gonna keep what I like only for myself, eh? I think that's a good strategy." he murmurs, toxic green eyes scanning every inch of your face with careful attention.
Your bottom lip quivers at his words and he presses his index finger over it.
"Lulu won't care, as long as we don't make much of a mess" he grins maniacally "And I get to play with you alllll by myself. Alllll mine. Only mine. Sounds great to me, hm?"
You blink and tears roll down your cheeks despite how you tried so hard not to shed them. Too afraid to ask him to let you go, and too afraid to stay.
Taiga had just locked you inside an invisible cage and you're pretty much sure there is no key that could ever set you free.
"Oh, of course." he perks up, as if he remembered something important. "I have to make very clear that you belong to me, don't I? Let me fix that."
Taiga swiftly grabs your left hand and puts your ring finger inside his mouth. And before you can even register whatever he planned to do, he bites down with a force that you were sure could rip your finger off. You scream in agony as his sharp teeth pierce you to the bone and your blood flow into his mouth. He swallows it eagerly, humming loudly, eyes rolling at the coppery taste.
Taiga opens his mouth and eyes his work, satisfied, despite the tears that run freely down your face.
The injury was going to leave a scar that would never fade away.
"My turn" he murmurs, unceremoniously pushing his own ring finger inside your mouth. Left hand, just like yours.
You stare at him wide-eyed, the pain on your own finger blaring inside your veins. It left your thoughts scrambled and confused, but Taiga isn't patient.
"Bite me." he pushes his finger further inside your mouth and against your teeth.
"Wai–" you try to protest.
"Bite me." he repeats louder, his voice and stare truly threatening. Now you understand why he said he wasn't threatening you before. Because you are pretty sure he is properly threatening you now.
You hesitantly close your lips around his finger and bite him softly. He grunts, still unsatisfied.
"Harder." he demands.
You force yourself to bite down, cringing at the feeling of his skin almost breaking against your teeth.
"Harder." he repeats, now breathlessly. "You have- have to draw blood."
You shut your eyes tightly and bite down with all the strenght you can muster, pushing down the nausea that comes with the warmth of his blood coating your tongue.
Taiga unabashedly moans at the feeling of your teeth breaking his skin and the sight of his very own blood seeping out of your mouth.
He takes out his finger from your lips and admires your work with explicit pleasure.
You weren't going to leave a scar, but he could very well tattoo your little bite marks onto his skin before they faded away.
"Did you swallow the blood?" he asks, sighing as he sees you trembling and wiping your mouth.
You nod weakly, feeling the corners of your vision darken as the pain on your hand finally takes over your whole body.
Before you pass out, you feel Taiga place his forehead against yours.
"Now we're together." he whispers as you go limp against his body.
Taiga observes you as you're unconscious. A sick satisfaction blooms inside his chest as he watches you, now splayed on his bed, the red and inflamed injury on your finger being the proof that you're entirely his from then on.
It doesn't matter if what he feels is love or if it's just sick obsession. You are now tied to him and his boring, samey, depressing days.
As he trudges slowly to his inevitable end, you now walk right beside him.
He silently promises that you won't ever need to die alone. Don't you worry because he will make sure you can only die with him.
And if that isn't love, then what is?
#tokyo debunker#ask#tokyo debunker taiga hoshibami#taiga hoshibami#yandere x reader#male yandere#tw blood#tw injuries#tw yandere
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