#while i have a whole fanfic side blog??

[1800-fight-me]

Dark Devotion

Vampire!Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader

Rating: E (Explicit) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Warnings: Once again, gothic horror romance vibes. The monster gets the girl. Fear, horror, and explicit PiV sex. Slightly non-con as Aemond compels reader, but reader definitely consents (you'll understand when you read it).

Word count: About 5.2k

Synopsis: Running from your old life somehow leads you directly into the arms of a monster, one that shows you pleasures you never could've dreamed of.

Author’s note: I know I have been completely MIA and inconsistent but tbh my life has been incredibly stresseful and I lost all motivation to write for a while. This is the first thing I've written in months that I am genuinely proud of. I even made a whole ass moodboard for it! I truly hope y'all enjoy. Happy Halloween! P.S. Comments will make my entire day and earn you a kiss on the forehead!

I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!

Aemond Masterlist

There was a phrase you heard quite a few times in your village as a little girl, ‘the night is dark and full of terrors’. Your mum would always roll her eyes and mumble something about ‘religious fanatics’. You were always inclined to agree with her, that is until this night. 

This night truly was dark and full of terrors. 

Thunder cracked loud enough that your ears rang as rain poured something awful. The harsh droplets pelted at your skin and the sky split in half as a lightning bolt landed merely a stone’s throw before you. 

Your horse neighed in panic loud enough that you could hear him over the bellowing wind as he reared back on his hind legs, causing you to slip and fall off and land directly on your backside in the mud. 

You gasped in shock and did not even have time to call out before your horse bolted away, leaving you drenched and muddy on the forest floor. 

Instead of crying you merely turned your head up towards the sky, embraced the pain of the harsh rain against your cheeks, and screamed at the heavens in frustration. 

You managed to pull yourself up before the mud sucked you in below the surface of the world, adjusted the hood of your cloak once again over your head, and trudged forward. 

Your boots sloshed through the dampened forest floor and you thought that perhaps the naysayers in your village were right. Maybe the gods were punishing you for your promiscuity. 

When you laid with the soldier passing through your village and allowed him to take your maidenhood, you were convinced there would be no consequences. 

You were no one, nothing, and not having your maidenhood intact changed nothing other than the subject the gossipers in town clucked about. 

It seemed it also changed the gods’ vengeance towards you. 

This night was dark and full of terrors, that much you could sense as fear shot down your spine. 

You increased your pace, fearing the creatures that could be lurking in the woods, desperate for some sort of shelter. The feeling of eyes watching you from time to time during your journey became steady and unceasing. You felt uneasy, the hair on the back of your neck stood straight up, and you knew it had nothing to do with the cold in the air. 

Eventually you had no other choice but to ignore the feeling, having looked behind and around you dozens of times in search of your stalker to no avail.

You trudged along for what felt like hours, not once finding anything that could serve as a temporary shelter. That was, until you somehow stumbled upon a near debilitated castle. 

As it came into view, you shuddered at the feeling the crumbling building invoked in you, but any shelter was better than none at this point. 

Stone walls with vines nearly overtaking them towered over you as you rushed forward towards the large wooden doors. You looked up and thought you saw a pair of gemstone blue eyes glowing in the dark from a window at the top of the tower, but you blinked and they were gone. 

You shook your head, sure your tired eyes were playing tricks on you, and reached for the handle of the door. 

You took a shuddering breath and pulled the heavy door open. Shock filled your very being as you were overcome with warmth and light. 

While the outside of the building was shabby, the inside was magnificent. It was well kept and well lit. A home fit for a king, with a grand staircase was directly in front of you and an elderly man in a servant’s outfit was walking down it.

“Young lady! Who are you and how dare you come into this home uninvited?” the man chided as he descended the last of the steps and stood before you. 

“I-I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t know anyone lived here, I was merely searching for shelter from the awful storm,” you said, eyes wide- portraying how stunned you felt. 

The man’s stern facade crumbled and he smiled warmly at you, you let go of your held breath and managed a small smile back at him. 

“Ah, yes, I tend to forget the master’s illusion on the outside of the building. He does it to keep the unwanted away,” he said. 

“Illusion? Like magic?” you asked. 

“Well, yes, of course. Come in, let’s get you out of the cold. You must be miserable,” the man said as he ushered you inside and closed the door behind you. 

“Alfred,” you heard the voice of a man call out from another room. His voice caused a shiver to go down your spine. 

“Yes, sire,” Alfred, the man before you replied, and the man with the shiver-inducing voice came into view as he rounded the corner and came into the entryway where you stood. 

Your breath caught once again as you saw the most striking and beautiful man you’d ever seen in your life. 

He was tall, nearly impossibly so, with long silver hair that fell nearly to his waist. He moved with the grace and control of a lethal killer. His facial features were sharp, as if he was cut from marble. His skin of pale white only emphasized his most distinct feature, an eye of sapphire that covered part of a scar that cut across his forehead and cheek. His remaining true eye was also a distinct blue color, nearly matching the sapphire one perfectly.  

Ethereal was the word that arose in your mind as he strode towards you, amusement twinkling in his eye as he took you in. 

“And who might you be, lovely?” he asked. 

After entirely too long of a pause, in which his amusement appeared to only grow as his beautiful lips curved into a smirk, you managed to stutter out your name. 

He repeated it back to you, leaning closer towards you, and your heartbeat sped into a gallop. He titled his head, almost as if he could hear it. You dismissed the thought, deeming it absurd. 

“My name is Aemond. Welcome to my home. Tell me, how exactly did you manage to find your way here?” he asked curiously. 

You leaned in closer with him, not realizing that your face was merely inches from his at this point, utterly drawn in and intoxicated by his presence. 

You were filled with a desire to please him and as a result you began rambling. “I was attempting to move away from my village. Take off and find a new life, but then there was a series of unfortunate events including running for my life, becoming irretrievably lost, and then becoming something I’m certain looks similar to a drowned rat after my horse was startled by the storm and I stumbled around for hours attempting to find shelter.” 

“Oh you poor sweet thing. Let us take care of you,” he purred and rather than set you at ease, something in the words made you feel as if your misadventures were far from over. And yet, you were entranced by his gaze and could not so much as force yourself to look away or take a step back. 

His smile grew wider as you nodded meekly. 

Finally, Aemond released you from his gaze as he turned to Alfred and asked him to fetch the maid Portia to assist you in cleaning yourself up. 

Before you knew it, you were being ushered up the stairs and into a room you could only assume was a guest room by an elderly woman with a sweet round face. 

She helped you to remove your muddy sodden clothes and you groaned in relief as you slid into a warm bath. You smiled warmly at her as you scrubbed your body and she cleaned your hair, all the while chattering to you about her love for her husband Alfred and their happiness working for Master Aemond. 

“Can you tell me about him?” you asked curiously as she helped you to dress. 

The dress she helped you into was of crushed velvet, sapphire blue like the gemstone in Aemond’s eye that had so caught your attention. The dress had a corset and plunging neckline that emphasized your curves. 

Portia hummed as she led you to sit down and began working on your hair. 

“He is a bit odd, yes. Intimidating and perhaps even scary to some, but he has a good heart. And is loyal and protective to those he cares for. He has treated my husband and I very kindly,” she said with a caring smile. 

Her words put your heart more at ease, still slightly worried about the new surprising circumstances you had found yourself in. 

“Does he typically extend that same kindness to visitors?” you asked, nervousness coloring your tone a bit. 

“It depends on the intentions of the visitor. A sweet thing like you? You’ll be well taken care of,” she said. 

“Does he often have ill-intentioned visitors?” you asked curiously. 

“It does happen from time to time, those in the nearest village hold hate for him in their hearts. Old prejudices I suppose, but no matter!” she said, changing the subject and her tone as she turned you around to view yourself in the floor length mirror. 

“Take a look at yourself, my dear. You look stunning, see? All the horror of the day washed completely away,” she said soothingly as she ran her hands up and down your upper arms. 

Your breath caught in your throat as you saw yourself. She was right, you’d never seen yourself look so beautiful before. You actually looked fit to reside in such a lovely home, unlike before, unlike any other time in your life. You’d never worn such a beautiful and expensive dress. You ran your hands across the soft fabric, up your torso and thought that it was the perfect inviting dress for someone else to touch you in. 

Images flashed in your head of the soldier you allowed to touch you, never while you wore something so pretty, but pleasurable nonetheless. Romps in the hay, literally as the two of you would often meet in your father’s barn and he taught you the art of a pleasure you’d never known before. 

You were not disillusioned about it, you knew there was no love between the two of you. You knew he would one day have to move on without you, but when he left town just as others found out about your affair, you were frustrated at being left alone with the consequences of a choice the both of you made. 

The townspeople, the people you grew up with, turned on you and called you a whore. Even your own father fell victim to their hateful whispers about you and kicked you out of his home. Only your mother helped you, sneaking you out in the dead of night and gifting you her horse to aid you on your journey into another life. 

You shook your head slightly in an attempt to clear those thoughts, the memories of both pleasure and pain, and smiled at your reflection. 

“Thank you, Portia, your efforts are greatly appreciated,” you said as you turned and embraced her in a warm hug. 

She squeezed you before releasing you and leading you out of the guest room and back down the grand staircase. 

You followed her into an elegant dining room, a fireplace lit - the fire crackling and warming the spacious room. The table was large enough to seat ten people, but only two place settings were set next to one another, somehow creating an intimate dinner even in such a large room. 

Aemond sat at the end of the table, and stood as he saw you. 

“Good evening, you look magnificent,” he said, voice as velvety as your dress. 

You did your best to hide how his words flustered you as you smiled softly and curtseyed. 

“Thank you, sire. But, this is too much. I did not mean to interrupt your your evening so and I-I’ll never be able to repay you-” 

He reached a hand out and you placed your hand in his. At the brush of your skin against his, your words fell off. 

His hands were cold, and yet- the mere brush of his fingers against yours filled your body with heat. 

“There is no repayment necessary, the pleasure of your company will be more than enough if you would please dine with me,” he said. 

“Of course,” you breathed out as you allowed him to guide you to your seat. 

Your nose was filled with the aroma of a hearty stew in a bowl before you and your stomach growled in anticipation. 

You gave Aemond a sheepish look even as he chuckled. 

“Eat, of course. You must be near ravenous. I’m familiar with the feeling,” he said, and his voice dipped lower. His eyes appeared to flash at his words, causing your heartbeat to jump, but you were far too hungry to think about it and played it off as a trick of the light, a reflection of the fire in his gemstone eye. 

You tucked in and struggled to hold in your groan of satisfaction at the taste of the soup. 

Aemond poured you both glasses of red wine and you thanked him as he handed you yours. 

“Are you not going to eat?” you asked him, suddenly feeling self conscious that you were shoveling mouthfuls of stew and bread into your mouth while he merely sipped on his wine and watched you. 

“Oh I intend to. Just not right now, I had what you might call a late afternoon snack,” he said and something about his words had a chill run up your spine, despite the warmth of both the room and the soup in your belly. 

“You told me of your journey here, but tell me about yourself. I find myself fascinated by the entirety of you,” he practically purred, and you immediately forgot your apprehension at his previous words. 

“I feel the same way about you,” you replied breathily. 

He smiled, a full glorious smile that made you feel as if the storm had ended and the sun had come out. But there was a glint, a sharpness, and with a start you realized his canine teeth were elongated. 

He must have seen the fear in your eyes as he reached over and grasped your hand gently. You felt that on fire feeling in your skin once again, but also felt all the fear wash out of your body. 

“Tell me about you,” he requested again, voice soft and low, a tone that caused you to wonder if that was how he spoke to his lovers late at night. 

You were filled with compliance, with a desire to please him, and so you did as you were asked, and told him everything about yourself. You told him of your childhood, your parents, your likes and interests, your dreams for a better life. 

He watched you with rapt attention, murmuring questions to prompt you to further share with him about yourself. And, oh gods, when he looked at you that way, his sapphire gaze so intense, you wanted to share yourself completely. 

“What had you so desperately searching for a new life?” he finally asked. 

So you explained, shamefully, how you laid with a man and became the village whore for merely choosing your own pleasure over mediocrity for once in your life. 

You looked down at your empty bowl, toying with the spoon, while you waited for his reaction, for his disgust and dismissal of you. 

Long cold fingers gently grasped your chin and lifted your head up to meet his gaze. 

You were enraptured by his undivided attention. 

“There’s no need to listen to the opinions of small minded individuals. Pleasure is nothing to feel guilty about. Especially when there are so, so many pleasures in life to discover,” he said and the soft lilt of his voice along with the dark tone made your toes curl. 

You wanted to experience unknown pleasures, you wanted him to teach you, to explore with you. 

You bit your lip, nodding slightly in agreement, and his hand slid up from your chin to curl around your jaw. His thumb stroked the apple of your cheek and you shivered. 

He pulled your bottom lip from between your teeth and you waited, nearly shaking with anticipation, for him to press his lips against your own, to replace the pressure with some of his own, and he smirked as if he knew what you were thinking, but pulled back. 

He sat back in his chair, far enough from you that you no longer felt intoxicated by his scent and presence, and you let out a soft breath of disappointment. 

Amusement and desire both seemed to dance in his gaze. You took a sip of wine, looking away from him to clear your head, and took a breath to steady yourself. 

“Will you tell me about yourself as well, sire?” you asked. 

“Aemond,” he corrected. “Please call me Aemond, sweet one.” 

“Aemond, I’d love to hear about you,” you requested once more. 

It seemed he had the same response to hearing his name drip from your lips as you had when he said yours, for his eyelid fluttered closed and his hand clenched into a fist, but the next breath he had composed himself once more and nodded. 

“My life… it feels as if it has been an eternity. A lonely one at that,” he said and this time you reached over and took his hand, holding it in support. 

“I was treated as if I were unwanted from the moment I was born, my eye taken hatefully when I was merely a boy, and then as a man I was deemed a monster. I was driven out of my home, my family did naught to protect me, and it took me far too long to find a place to call my own. Still, others that encounter me call me a monster and I find myself alone most of the time,” he explained and your heart hurt for him. 

“Why do others call you a monster? Your gemstone eye?” you asked as you leaned closer to him once again. 

This time you leaned in and placed your hand on his face, tracing the length of his scar with your thumb as you gently held his cheek. 

“Hmmm,” he hummed in a noncommittal sort of agreement. 

“I think it’s beautiful,” you said, your voice so soft it was practically a whisper. 

It was evident he heard you as he practically nuzzled his face into your hand. He gripped your wrist and ran his nose from the palm of your hand to the inside of your wrist, breathing in deeply. 

His actions, though gentle and loving, caused an inexplicable feeling of fear to drip down your spine, particularly when his lips pressed against your skin. You’d never realized what a vulnerable place in the body the wrist was, a bundle of veins, until Aemond pressed his perfectly curved lips against it. 

But as soon as it came, the fear was gone as Aemond looked up at you and you met his gaze once more. 

You reached out and pushed his silver hair out of his face where it had fallen and tucked it behind his ear. 

His long gorgeous hair was so soft you yearned to run your fingers through it and learn of his response, learn of the noises he would make when in pleasure. 

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured, appearing as entranced by you as you were by him. 

You could do nothing to hide the way his words flustered you, as the weight of his attention had you pinned down and unable to move. 

He caught your hand and held it in place against his hair. 

As he leaned closer to you, his movements were slow and deliberate, like a predator trying not to spook his prey. 

Your heart began to sprint and you were certain you would never be able to slow it again. 

His sharp nose brushed against yours, and the anticipation was so strong you forgot how to breathe. 

Aemond hummed softly before he finally, finally pressed his lips to yours. 

As his lips moved against yours you felt inherently changed, different. It felt as if a shadowed hand with sharp talons dripping with blood had reached through your chest and gripped your heart and claimed it. 

You were his, his, and you were prepared to swear to him your utter devotion, your life. You didn’t quite understand what you were experiencing, but you didn’t care as he deepened the kiss. As he claimed your mouth you gasped, letting out a small whimper. This gave him the in he needed to slide his tongue against yours. 

You shuddered, gripping his hair tighter as he lifted you with an ease that should not be possible and sat you atop his lap. 

Your dress prevented you from straddling him like you wished, but you could not complain as he gripped your waist tightly. You ran your hands from his face and his hair to his shoulders, down to his arms, gripping him tightly and kissing him deeply, with everything you had, with utter devotion. 

You let out a small yelp of surprise as your tongue explored his mouth and brushed against something entirely too sharp. 

He tore his lips from yours and met your gaze. Your chest brushed against his as it heaved while you attempted to catch your breath. 

Fangs, you recognized. Those were fangs in his mouth, made for sinking his teeth in. 

You could not discern how you felt, what you thought, for the utter fire for him burned through you. 

He traced your jaw, then the line of your neck down to your collarbone, slowly, achingly slowly as you wanted nothing more than for him to kiss you again. Then, his lips followed the same journey his fingers had just taken. You shivered, your head falling back as your eyes fluttered shut. 

“Tell me you are mine,” Aemond ordered, and his breath against the sensitive skin of your neck made you shiver. 

“I’m yours,” you replied breathily and you could feel his smile against your throat. 

“Tell me you want me,” he ordered. 

“I want you,” you whined, and his grip on you tightened nearly to the point of pain, but you could not focus on that. No, not when you felt those fangs graze against that most sensitive spot on your neck. 

The night is dark and full of terrors, the words rang through your head once more and your breath stopped as you realized you had fallen into this beautiful monster’s trap. Fear shot down your spine and made your body tense and freeze. 

“Hmm,” he hummed in reassurance as he pressed a kiss against your vulnerability. 

Your body responded immediately, you relaxed completely, becoming nearly ragdoll like in his arms. He lifted you, holding you as he stood, and walked into the next room, a sitting room of sorts, and laid you on a chaise. 

“Aemond,” you breathed out. 

He kneeled next to where you laid. 

“I care for you,” he said as he brushed a hand across your cheek, “I don’t wish to compel you.” 

He kissed you once more. At the feeling of his lips against yours, you were reborn. You had control over your body once again and you yanked him atop of you, deepening the kiss. 

He groaned into your mouth, and pulled back slightly, causing you to whine in protest. 

“You truly want me?” he asked, his tone sounding surprised. 

Your survival instinct had long since gone quiet as a result of you continuously ignoring its protests. 

“Yes,” you said and pulled his lips to yours again. 

“Perhaps we can make a deal then,” he said, trailing his lips down once more to his favorite spot on your neck, where your veins were most vulnerable.

“If you give me what I want, I will reward you with everything you desire and more,” he said and you again felt the sharpness of those fangs. 

You let out a shuddering breath. 

“Yes,” you agreed, all logic disappearing as desire overtook your very being. 

And you knew. You knew and he knew, that his compelling magic was gone, the desire you felt for him this entire time was real and true, not due to compelling whatsoever. There was something more, something deeper at play here, and your choice was your own as you chose him, completely. 

And with that, he groaned lowly and sank his fangs into your neck.  

Sharp indescribable pain is what you expected but instead it was like a dull buzz of pain nearly overwhelmed by pleasure. 

He ran his hands down your body, ensuring he paid special attention to your breasts and you gasped his name. 

Aemond’s hand slipped up your dress, inching up your burning hot skin, and finding the wetness between your legs that awaited him. 

You whimpered softly as he brushed your panties aside and finally touched you where you wanted him the most. 

His nimble fingers spread your slick and quickly found a rhythm circling your bundle of nerves as he continued to drink your blood. 

As the heat inside you built, he pulled his teeth from your neck and slowly dragged his tongue up your neck, licking up every last drop of blood from your skin. His fingers moved in perfect time with his tongue, and with no notice your release hit you, overwhelming you completely as you moaned loud enough to echo through the room. 

“Absolutely exquisite,” he said as he pulled back from your neck and looked deep into your eyes. 

He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, and you stared at him as your chest heaved, absolutely entranced. He then replaced his thumb with his bloodsoaked lips. 

He groaned as you kissed him eagerly, your blood in his mouth not causing any hesitation whatsoever. 

“I need you,” you gasped. 

“I have needed you for an eternity,” he replied as he began untying the corset of your dress. 

You moaned as the cool air hit your skin and he slowly and gently removed the beautiful dress from your body, leaving you completely bare. You turned and looked at the pile of sapphire velvet on the floor. 

He gripped your chin, turning your head to look at him once more. You helped him to remove his shirt, and then watched eagerly as he unbuckled his belt, beginning to make himself just as bare as you. 

“I must admit something to you,” he said and your mouth ran dry as the hard length of him sprung free. 

“Yes,” you asked breathlessly as you reached and wrapped your hand around him. 

He let out a sound low in his throat, something similar to a growl, as you began to move your hand up and down his length. 

“It is not happenstance that you found yourself in my home. I must confess that I have been watching you for a while now. I needed you. I needed to taste you, to make you mine. I influenced your journey here, guided you, so I could finally show you my devotion,” he said. 

“Then make me yours, completely,” you pleaded and guided his length to line up with your wet heat. 

With a groan he nodded his head and pushed himself inside you. 

He filled you, inch by glorious inch, and you could do nothing but gasp for air as you felt fuller than you’d ever felt in your life. 

You reveled in the press of your naked chest against his, as you pulled him close enough that you couldn’t tell where your body ended and where his began.

You were one with the vampire atop you, and you’d never felt more intense pleasure in your life. 

When he was certain you were ready, he kissed you, surprisingly tenderly, before he pulled out nearly all the way, and pushed back inside you, sinking to the hilt. 

His tempo was slow and deep, as he gazed deep in your eyes and told you how beautiful he found you. 

“Perfect, so perfect,” he praised as you mewled for him when he tilted your hips up and hit a spot of pleasure inside you that had never been found before. 

Aemond continued his pace, holding you tight, as your nails dug into his back. 

“Come for me, darling, I can feel how close you are,” he purred in your ear. 

He slipped his hand between your bodies and found your bundle of nerves once more, stroking it and you nearly screamed as your release wracked through you. 

You felt you had reached heaven, somehow, in the arms of your ethereally beautiful monster lover and it took you several moments to come back down. 

So lost in your pleasure, you had not even felt a sting of pain as he sunk his teeth into your wrist. He gulped your blood, moaning in pleasure, as he continued to pump himself in and out of your tight wet heat, chasing his own release. 

You tangled your other hand in his hair, and gripped tighter around his cock, urging him on, encouraging both his release and for him to continue to drink from you. 

He groaned as his release found him, sinking deep inside you, bringing ecstasy to you both. 

You shuddered a breath as his movements slowed and stopped. He pulled his teeth from your wrist, and murmured your name, like a praise- like a prayer, with utter devotion. 

As he looked at you, you reached up and wiped your blood from where it had dripped down his chin. 

He brought your wrist to his lips once more, and before you could protest that you were beginning to feel lightheaded, he surprised you by licking the wound clean instead of sinking his teeth back in, just as he had with the wound on your neck. 

You watched in fascination, as his saliva magically closed your wound, leaving only a small scar. 

He looked up and grinned at you, your blood coating his teeth, and you whimpered and pulled him into another kiss. 

He kissed you languidly, tongue moving against yours, as if he had all of eternity with you. 

“I have never tasted anything so divine,” he purred against your lips. 

“I have never felt so wonderful in all my life,” you said back as you pulled back enough to look upon him once again. 

“I can feel it. Can you feel it? You are to be my eternity, my everlasting, my one true mate. I give you my utter devotion. You said you wanted to start a new life. Start it with me. Let me turn you and we can be together forever. Stay with me,” he pleaded. 

And so you did. 

Yes, this night was dark and full of terrors, but this terror had wrapped himself around you, sunk deep inside you, and devoted his entire being to you, offering you pleasure and love unlike any you’d ever experienced before. 

And so, later, when Aemond fed you his blood and turned you and you opened your eyes into this new life, becoming a terror yourself, you grinned and kissed your vampire mate, prepared to spend forever by his side. 

[lillchris]

You with the dark curls; You with the water colored eyes (Two Shot)

Chapter One: A Sour Apple Can Spoil The Whole Bunch

Responding to @my-favorite-sign-blog Word Count: 1.7k

a/n: The book title is inspo from the song "Dear Arkansas Daughter" Anyway seeing that this is my first fanfic in a while, I thought it was no better time to start than the present. Most of the plotlines in this book will be ideas from my delusional brain. In this fanfic, Jalen and Paige actually dated so just keep that in the back of your minds ;) I hope you all like this first chapter! <3 TW: Angst, Jalen Suggs, Mentions of cheating and divorce, Swearing, Homophobia

It was Christmas morning in the Fudd household, and with that came Christmas breakfast, it was a tradition the family had yet to break.

It was precisely 8:30am when Azzi looked at the alarm clock beside her bed, and heard the sound of her father's voice ring down the hall as he banged pots and pans that woke up all those who were sleeping.

"Come on everybody up! Rise and shine it's Christmas morning and you know what that means!"

Tim Fudd's morning enthusiasm was not reciprocated as Azzi rolled back over, and pulled the comforter back over her head, in hopes of blocking out the loud ruckus outside her room.

"I'll rise but I sure won't shine." Azzi mumbled groggily.

Just then the door burst open, and she soon felt a dip in the mattress as she groaned from the sudden disturbance.

"AZZI! AZZI! AZZI! Wake up! Come on get up!" The sound of Drew Bueckers voice blared in her ear as she rolled over once again.

"Wow I guess that didn't work, maybe you should try since your besties." Drew shrugged before getting off the bed and walking out of the room.

"Come on you big head, get up. It's rude not to greet your best friend after it took three-plus hours to get here." Paige said in a teasing tone as she attempted to pull the comforter off of Azzi.

"Just five more minutes Paige, pleaseee. You know I'm not a morning person."

"Okay fine, but I'm sitting on the edge of your bed waiting here until you decide to get off your ass and wake up." Paige teased as she picked up a mini basketball that was lying on the floor.

The constant sound of the ball hitting the door and bouncing back, over and over was enough to drive Azzi nuts, she sighed before pulling off the covers.

"When, and how did you even get here? I thought you were going back home to celebrate Christmas with your mom's side of the family in Montana?" Azzi asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Well, it took me a minute to realize after I said goodbye to you at the airport a month ago, that I wanted to spend Christmas with you instead. So I bought tickets for the next flight out to Virginia, and viola here I am."

"Paige do you need me for anything else, me and Jose want to play Fortnite," Drew said with a sigh as he trudged back into the room with a PS5 controller in hand.

When Paige didn't respond, Drew took it as a sign, rolling his eyes before leaving once again.

"Come on Azzi I want some of your mom's famous maple apple pancakes fresh off the griddle before your brothers eat them all". Paige says with a long pleading, drawn-out sigh.

"Don't make me force you out of bed".

"Noo Paige Please. Just let me wake up naturally. Jose forced me to watch some stupid ass Christmas comedy movie, and I am so tired." Azzi says with her eyes closed still as an annoyed groan falls from her lips.

"You're getting up whether you like it or not, come on," Paige says mischievously as she swats at Azzi's knee lightly as an incentive.

"Alright guess I'm going to have to carry you out like the princess you are." Paige says before picking up Azzi and slumping her over her shoulder carrying her out.

" Think you might want to carry Azzi more gently, she is Sleeping Beauty." Tim Fudd laughs upon seeing his daughter carried out Fireman's lift-style.

"Well, she is a princess after all," Paige says with a smirk before carrying Azzi bridal style in her arms.

"Wait before you put her down," Jose says laughing, before taking a picture of a sleepy Azzi, as Tim and Katie just laugh.

"Alright, Paige wake up Azzi it's almost time to eat." Katie says with a smile as she sets the last of the pancake on a plate.

"Wakey, Wakey princess, it's time to wake up for real this time." Paige says with a smirk as she bops her best friend on the nose, as she puts Azzi down forcing her to stand up despite how groggy she is.

"I'm up, I'm up! " Azzi says yawning as she puts on one of Paige's hoodies that she's currently "borrowing"

"Hey, that's my hoodie! Haven't you had it for over six months now?" Paige says jokingly with an eyebrow raised and a smirk plastered on her face.

"Whatever Paige. I like it, it's so comfy and it smells like you. I've worn it for the past month since I missed you." Azzi says as she leans against Paige's shoulder, and everyone sits at the table.

"She has hardly taken it off since we picked her up at the airport a month ago." Katie states as she passes the syrup bottle.

"Yeah, she practically lives in it." Tim chimes in, as Drew and Jose give each other knowing looks, as they look across the table at the two girls, who seem utterly comfortable and relaxed in each other's presence.

"Oh? So you actually missed me?" Paige says teasingly to Azzi as she eats her scrambled eggs.

"Of course I missed you! Is that even a question!" Azzi says with her mouth half full of food as she half-jokingly rolls her eyes. She glances over at Paige, before nudging her in the side playfully.

In Azzi's mind, she wanted to say: of course I missed you I always miss you. But she refrained, something in her mind stopped her.

Just as everyone was finishing eating, the sound of the doorbell ringing shifted their attention.

"I'll get it" Tim said as he rose from the table, before heading to the door.

"Is Paige Bueckers here by chance?" A young man says as he stands on the snowy outside steps.

"And who are you?" Tim asks curiously.

"I'm Jalen Suggs, Paige's- friend. I would like to talk to her for a second.

"Oh, so you're- never mind, sure come in," Tim says clearing his throat, letting the young man inside.

"Paige, someone's here to see you."

"Here to see me? On Christmas? I don't know who could possibly want to see m-." Paige's words stopped just as quickly as they had been spoken. Her mouth suddenly goes dry, upon seeing him standing there.

"I need to talk to you, please." Jalen says with a insistent look as she approaches him, firmly grabbing his forearm, and leading him into the living room.

"What the hell are you doing here Jalen on all of the days Christmas! I thought I made myself clear-"

"You did, baby, but I-I want to apologize, for everything." Jalen pleads as Paige's blood almost boils upon hearing him call her baby.

Paige sighs, looking down and shaking her head, before glancing over at Drew who is watching them talk. He quickly snaps his head toward the TV acting like he isn't staring.

"Look, can we just- talk about this outside. The at least decent thing you can do is not have this conversation in front of my little brother." Paige sighs in frustration as she and Jalen walk out onto the small front porch.

-----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Azzi is helping her mom and dad clean up the kitchen.

"Whoa, what did that plate ever do to you?" Tim jokes as Katie shoots her husband a not the right-time look.

In Azzi's mind, the thought, the sight, the mention of that person, that man- Jalen Suggs, makes her blood boil to no avail. He was a dick, an asshole, hell, every insulting name in the damn book of insults, for what he put Paige through the last year and a half.

She despised him, how could he do that to Paige, Her Paige. She dismissed that thought quickly, as her mind trailed back to Jalen the more she thought about him the more her mind reeled and turned at just how much she disliked him.

"Azzi." The sound of someone's voice and the feeling of her mother's hand brought her back to reality, and it was only then did Azzi realize that she had been washing the same damn pan for over five minutes. She released the death grip she had on the pan before taking a deep breath.

"Azzi, are you alright?" Her mother's eyes met hers as she looked up from her feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine. its-just why the hell did he have to show up, right here, right now, on Christmas of all days- I just." Azzi sighed and threw her hands up in the air.

"I'm walking out there, I know it's not my place but I'm giving Jalen a piece of my mind."

Azzi says determined, walking out of the house before Katie can tell her not to.

"ooooh weeeh, man! Watch out! Here comes Azzi. That boy is gonna see some Fudd fury from her! That's my girl!" Tim says proudly as Katie shoots him another unamused look.

"One! You are not calling me baby, and two! Don't you dare bring my parent's divorce into this! I might have been only three but that does not make it irrelevant. " Paige says beyond angry.

Azzi stomped out onto the snowy driveway about to give Jalen a piece of her mind, but she stopped beside the two, seeing that she had come at a bad time.

"And don't bring Azzi into this either leave her out of this!" Paige says before realizing Azzi is standing right there.

"Oh I'm sorry did I hurt your "girlfriend's" feelings." Jalen shoots back.

"Don't talk to her like that don't you dare!" Azzi says stepping in front of Paige protectively.

"Oh does Paige need her best friend- or shall I say girlfriend to fight her battles for her? Is that why you broke up with me just so you could fuck your best friend instead?"

That was it Paige had officially snapped.

"I'm not the one who cheated, with my used-to-be friend Hayley Van Leith! And no that's not why I was going to break up with you! I broke up with you because you kept fucking continuously lying to me!" Paige says with venom in her voice.

"You need to leave now." Azzi says firmly as she once again steps between Paige.

"Yeah alright, whatever Paige, at least I tried apologizing. Yeah, you just have fun with your girlfriend here. She'll never be able to give you what I could." Jalen says mockingly.

Before leaving Azzi and Paige in the snowy driveway.

a/n: lmk what y’all think :)

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 6

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Angry Everyone, Death is mentioned, Wanting Death, Shock, Grief, PTSD Flashback, Panic, there is a parallel to a person jumping off a bridge (NOT ACTUALLY)

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters:  Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings. This is the first half of a chapter that had me crying as I wrote it. This is something that you all need to take into consideration... I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE ONCE AGAIN. My asks are always open for you guys to vent about this one.

Also remember, this is a fanfic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously:

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about half an hour of hushed talking, while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

Now:

The minute Minho saw who it was entering the room his whole body went rigid, his hands in fists at his side as he got up and used his body to block whoever it was. He motioned for the boys to get closer to the bed. All of them standing, ready to jump. 

“Just let me talk to her,” Bin’s vision started getting blurry, on the verge of blacking out with rage. He looked down to you, very unbothered by the sudden voice that assaulted the tranquility of the room. The first tranquil moment you've had in months. Months of your husband hiding and sneaking. And months of you planning and working excitedly making every detail perfect. 

Bin made a split-second decision to lightly cover your ear that wasn't to his chest. Trying to prolong the inevitable. 

Next up was Han as he said in a hushed tone, “she’s finally asleep. You are not coming in this room, Chris.” His tone was dark and that one sentence rolled off of his tongue like a warning. 

“She’s my wife. I am going to see her whether you like it or not.” He sounded annoyed. Like this was an inconvenience. Bin did everything in the book to calm his heart, which was starting to spike at just hearing his voice. 

Bin went on an internal tirade, how dare he come here? Killing your child wasn't enough? Making you so stressed out that you almost bled to death wasn't enough? Ripping your heart out and trampling it… not enough for him? NOOO let's show up when it's convenient, when no one expects it, playing the 'husband' card. When Bin knew he CLEARLY gave up that title already. 

Especially when you did everything to be available for him. When he started to pull away you came to Bin and Han in tears, not knowing what to do. You love him so much that you actively went to find out what it was. Was it your weight? Did you talk too much or not enough? Did you ask for too much? Did you seem too boring? He has already been enough of a plague on your life already. 

Minho giggled darkly, “You really want to die today, huh? Did you not hear Han, she’s resting. Now go away.” 

“Not until I see her.” His voice raised slightly. The bite in his voice made Minho want to strangle him, to be honest. He doesn’t have any entitlement to you. Especially after what he’s done. As far as what Minho thinks, Chris was never your husband. No husband neglects their wife. No husband makes their wife lay awake at night, worried about if he had eaten or not, or if she’d even see him when she woke up. 

That was enough for you to stir on Bin’s chest. Bin had to think quickly as he said "It's okay, go to sleep, Angel. I'm here," in the most delicate whisper. That was enough to knock you out again, humming against his chest. 

Chris pulled back the curtain, even though Han and Minho tried their best to get him away. At that point, I.N, who was the closest to Chan, blocked him from your bedside.

“Get away from her.” He whispered, “She’s too fragile right now.”

Chris just looked at I.N. and said, “No one is keeping me from my wife, you’re lucky I even went along with it for this long. I’m not going to wake her.”

The venom in Chan's voice made the hair on Bin’s neck and arms raise. Not out of fear, no he could snap Chris in half if he was pissed off enough. His hair raised out of anger and knowing he couldn't do anything about it. The fact that Chan had the audacity to come into that room after what he did, knowing that you are fragile. That you barely made it out, and even now, you aren’t completely out. Yet there he was trying to force himself in. Like he had a right to be there, even though he was the one that caused it. 

I.N looked at Han and Han signaled him to let it go. 

Han knew that he was right, none of them had spousal rights. So technically Chris can kick them out, especially because she is still so weak, she can’t fend for herself or be able to sternly say ‘get out’ to her husband, not without consequences. They had no other choice. 

Bin looked at Chan as he took a seat next to the bed, taking in your sleeping form. His heart was breaking at seeing how weak you looked. Your cheeks were slightly sunken in and your face was completely pale. The dark circles dominated your eyes, making your face look more like a mummy as opposed to a living breathing person. He looked at your arm with a blood bag hooked to it. When he looked up at Bin he could see that it took everything in Bin’s body not to kill him.

Bin just mouthed to him, “What the fuck are you doing here, get out.” The more that he looked at Chan the more he wanted to rip him apart. He looked well rested, smelled like he showered, hell he even did his hair. That pissed Changbin off. You’d think that he would at least look more disheveled. Given, he could see that he did look worried and sad. He didn’t look guilty. 

Chris just ignored him and kept looking at you. Chris was transfixed on you. He was even more transfixed by your hold on Changbin. You looked like you were cuddling your favorite teddy bear. He remembered the last time you held him like that. Yesterday morning, when he came home to sleep for two hours, the minute the bed dipped you subconsciously reached for him, and he slightly rolled his eyes as he succumbed to his fate, smile on his face. You sighed so happily, you mumbled, ‘Mhmm missed you, love you,’ as you kissed his bare chest, and just like you’re positioned now, you were asleep. Now seeing you holding Bin like that makes jealousy more prominent in his mind. 

It makes him sick to think about all of this as he plays with his wedding ring, thinking about not feeling you again, your hugs, your breath on his skin. The moans that’d he pull out of you, soothing his soul. The looks that’d make his heart stop. The giggle that’d be forced out even if you were mad. Not having the feeling of your skin on his, these thoughts make him want to die. He’s trying to actively ignore it. He’s trying to ignore the fact that he did something so disgusting, so unforgivable that he lost you. For him, it’s easier to be angry, angry and convinced that you’ll come back. That’s why he is doing what he is doing. That’s why he walked with bravado into that room.

He went to put some hair behind your ear just to have some contact and I.N’s hand flew out and wrapped his hand around his wrist. His jaw set. Bin wanted to do the exact same but it’d jolt you.  

I.N. growled “No.. touching… get out of the room,” his brows furrowed, his usually soft eyes looking more like a piercing gaze. 

Being the maknae, he has never challenged Chan before… At all. There’s a good reason as to why he is challenging him right now. Innah has always felt like he was awkward. He didn’t really know where he belonged in the team. Yes, he has a good voice and yes he’s good with choreography but he never really hung out with people other than Seungmin and Felix. 

You being the person you are, you figured it out. He was watching one day, just seeing all of the members interacting, some of the older ones trying to bring him into the fold but it seemed ingenuine to him. Like he was the little brother that had to be included or Dad would get mad. You truly found the things that he loved interesting, really talked to him, and made him feel safe and welcomed. 

There was one particularly hard night for him. Nothing went right that day and he was tired, frustrated, and needed to feel safe. He didn’t know where to go or who to go to. So he called you without knowing why. You picked up and the minute he heard your voice he started crying. You ran to his dorm. No one else was home, and of course, Chan was nowhere in sight. So you stood with him, talked, and cooked a midnight dinner with him. Got him to laugh, you both passed out on the couch after watching some anime.

After that night that no one knows about except the boys in the Danceracha house, I.N. was just like Hyunjin, except he’d do drive-by hugs, sometimes just falling on you giggling and looking for hugs and head scratches, like the fox he is. There were other times when he would just stand behind you, put his chin on the top of your head and say, “What are we doing here Y/N/N…. I am BORED” as he’d flop on you, “Let’s get Ramyeon.” You’d laugh and say, “How about this… you get through today… and Ramyeon’s on me.” He still smiles at those memories.

So of course, I.N. would fight King Kong if he had to if it meant protecting you. 

Now, seeing Jeongin doing this, standing up to Chan, just to protect you, his Noona,  made everyone that wasn’t Chan smile. 

Chan stood up to his full height and said, “I just want to be here for her,” with a tight lip at the challenge of the maknae of his team. Chan can’t take the disrespect anymore. Even though he knows that he more than deserves to be treated like this and worse, he is still in that limbo of trying to convince himself that this didn’t actually happen or worse, that he can fix it.

Bin felt your grip tighten on him…

You said to yourself that you didn’t just hear that voice. You squeezed your eyes shut as you wiggled up a bit to bury your face into Bin's neck. You didn’t want the boys to see you cry. 

The cologne you just smelled when you were on Bin's chest, that was Chan’s cologne. The voice you just heard, that was Chan’s voice. There was a war going on in your head. Do you talk to him? Can you talk to him? What do you say? What does HE have to say?

“Y/N?” Chan said as his body snapped to you. Seeing you now burrowed into Bin’s neck and chest. 

It made the jealousy that he had before start to boil. That’s his wife, after all. Chan was your safety. He was the one you run to, not Changbin, of all people. Why does he fit so well next to you? Why does the feeling of you slipping away elicit anger at others, not himself? Why did he see you buried in Bin’s neck and not his own? It felt to him like someone was touching his favorite toy without permission. Why did she go to Bin for comfort and not him? 

“Y/N, Baby?” He asked a little louder…

“Stop calling me that,” you responded to him, muffled by Bin’s neck as you cried in your own dark cocoon, that was what you imagined when in Bin’s neck. Surrounded by him, he’d never let anyone near close. He was your safety bubble. 

Bin just moved his hand up to pet your hair back as you fought with yourself. 

The only one who knew you were crying was Bin, who felt your tears on his neck. They felt like acid on his skin, he could feel the pain through them, the fear, the rejection, the grief. He hated seeing or feeling you cry. The fact that you were comfortable enough to trust him with your fragility was the only solace in this for him. He knew that no one could protect you more than he could. That’s exactly what he’s going to do, protect you. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispered as he turned his face into you, trying to hide as much of your face as he could, to give you more shelter to cry in. He hated that you had to go through this. You would think that for even one second his bonehead bandmate would put his own ego aside for just one fucking day to give you the room you desperately needed. It’s not even like he could make the excuse of thinking that you are going through it alone. It’s clear that you aren’t, Bin always took care of you. Sometimes Chan thought that it was the perfect deal for himself. He was married to you, so obviously you wouldn’t betray him, and Bin was so in love with you that he’d move Heaven and Earth for you. So Chan being distracted was never the issue, Bin was always there. In his head Bin was like a Knight protecting the Queen in a chess game. The king doesn’t have to worry about the Queen. 

Bin’s tone with you was gentle,“You tell me to get him out and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” His face read danger, eyes never leaving Chris.

You really didn’t know what to do. You are at a loss really. You just got about half an hour in nearly 30+ hours of being awake. One thing you do know is that you are feeling your pain uptick at the thought of leaving Bin’s neck. 

“Please, let me talk to you,” Chris pleaded with you. He tried to touch you.

Jeongin stopped him again, gripping his wrist. His grip was bruising in strength this time, “She did not say you could touch her. So you are keeping your hand to yourself. Either that or I rip it off, understand?”

Bin’s jaw was tight, if Chris made one more move, Bin was going to gently switch out with Seungmin, just to murder Chris, then switch out again so you could sleep, very simple. 

“At least let me see your face, Baby,” Chris said as he yanked his hand from I.N’s grip. 

Then you spoke again… your tone now carrying an authoritative air, “I told you not to call me that fucking name. I heard it enough when you were fucking her in our bed. Take that name and shove it, Chris.” 

“As for seeing my face, you don’t deserve to see it after what you did to me. Neither of you deserve to see my face.”

“Give us the room,” Chan ordered. He was doing his best to keep his composure and to try to gauge how much control he lost of the group. He is very much aware of the fact that the power dynamic has changed. Chan knows that they don’t even respect him, let alone trust him. Another thing that he knows is that he would feel the same way.

He’s also embarrassed, not at what he’s done but at the fact that his members found out. The fact that he was caught with his pants down, both literally and figuratively. The fact that his members watched him do something so amoral was something that he was pissed off about. Not as much at the fact that he had no moral compass, but it was the fact that they reacted the way they did. They screamed at him, Chris, Bang Chan, their elder. They challenged his authority left and right. The fact that they’re rebelling only added fuel to the fire. He wanted, needed to get control back. 

As far as he was concerned, this was all something that he could come back from. You love him, right? So obviously you’ll come back. You sunk 5 years into him, of course you’ll be back. There was far too many decent memories for you to check out now. You’re hurt, demoralized, angry, yes. However, knowing the peacekeeper you are, you’ll be back, he knows it. Why can’t they see that, why can’t they fight for him just as hard as they are fighting for you. Why can’t they get their noses out of his marriage and watch some K-Drama like they always do instead of driving a wedge further in between himself and his wife. 

The frustration alone made him want to lose his composure. Everyone has their role, that is something he is an avid believer in. To you, Chan is the protector, he’s the one to chase all the bad things away, he is your husband. Changbin is your friend, nothing more. So it drove Chan crazy to see you relax in Bin’s arms. 

He felt like Bin had no business in a bed with you. It being completely lost on him that he did the same thing, but worse with his wife’s best friend. Bin is not there to sexually gratify you, he is there to hold whatever’s left of you together. 

Bin is trying desperately to reassure you, to look at all of your broken pieces and help you, to let you know that he won’t let Chris close enough to hurt you again. 

When Chris ordered everyone to give him the room, not one person moved a muscle. All they did was look at you, waiting for an answer. 

Bin whispered to you, “Do you want us to leave?” Internally he was praying that you wouldn’t want him to go. He as well as the rest of the boys don’t trust Chris as far as they can throw him. 

You shook your head, “Can’t take it.” You knew that there would be no way that you could have this conversation alone, you’d be right back to square one. If you were honest there isn’t a way you can see this going well. You are still really weak. You can’t do much of anything at all yet, even needing help shifting in your own bed. Not to mention the person who did it to you is demanding an audience with you like you didn’t just go through a near-death experience and is barking orders at your boys. You couldn’t even scream at him for that. 

Bin looked at the boys and said, “We aren’t going anywhere, Y/N’s orders.”

With that all of the boys had a seat, smiles on their faces as if to say try us, we dare you. 

Chan’s face turned hard at that. It was worse than he thought… Not only did he lose control, he handed all of it over to you on a silver platter. Chan is an A personality type. He is very particular, one of those places he’s particular about is that he is the Alpha. He is the leader, the spearhead. So for everyone to do this, made him not only mad, but scared. He isn’t used to not being in control. That made his tone harsh as he barked,“Look, I know that you are in pain and I know that you don’t even want to see me right now, but we need to talk in private.”

Immediately I.N. bristled and took a step to him, Minho getting up and claiming the bottom half of the bed, looming on the post of it, glaring at Chan.

Felix growled, “Watch your tone, you aren’t the one calling the shots, Chris.” as he bore daggers into Chris’ forehead, standing at the ready. 

You didn’t respond and Chan said something that made your blood boil,something he knew you couldn’t ignore, “It was mine too.”

It..IT?! Your heart cracked again as you left your cocoon, “IT?!” You raised your voice. You winced at the pain the movement caused. “MY child was not an IT… THEY WERE HERE CHRIS.” You grabbed your stomach, feeling your diaphragm scream at you to be quiet, your abdominals agreeing full-heartedly. “YOU gave up ANY parentage by fucking someone else when we were trying to have a baby for TWO FUCKING YEARS!”

“WHAT?!” Han exclaimed. Han started to see red, yet again… Han thought to himself, They were trying to have a baby for 2 years?!. Han looked briefly at everyone else, their faces set in the same murderous stare that resided on Han. 

Meanwhile, Bin didn’t let that sink in, he was too busy noticing you started looking slightly confused and woozy. Whatever little color you had was turning more grey by the second.

“Y/N you need to breathe,” Bin tried to remind you. He tried his best to guide you back down but you weren't having it. Your anger taking control. He had a sinking feeling as his own heartrate picked up.

You thought for a few minutes and said, “I still can’t believe it, you know? It’s like last night was a horrible nightmare but, the pain, the blood… It really happened. My baby is really gone.” A stray tear ran down your face, “I don’t want to believe it. It hurts too much. But my body knows. It feels different. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t… I can’t…”

Bin was watching your heart rate, the last time you tried to revisit this, you had to be sedated and apparently, Han is thinking the same thing. He looked at the monitors and got a bad feeling. 

“I just wanted to surprise you, to show you how much I love you! To let you know that I am there for you and you repay me by emotionally cheating on me with my BEST FRIEND for a YEAR and physically cheating for two whole months?! NOW YOU WANT A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?! How is this for a private conversation.” You felt your body starting to fail again. The rage coursing through you is the only thing keeping you aware of your surroundings. 

Chan went to look away, he couldn’t see you hurting this much. He couldn’t come to the realization that he did this to you. You screamed with what little energy you had , “LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD!” as you held your stomach, trying to control the new waves of pain.

When he looked at you, you said, “Here’s a little private conversation for you. I’m granting your wish. You said to her ‘I can’t wait to leave her’... Guess what?” You gritted out, “I’m leaving you!” you started spiraling back into what happened not even a full 24 hours ago at repeating his sentence back to him. Hearing those same words in your head, seeing the blood, the reality of it once again slamming into you like it did before. 

The minute that last sentence left your lips, the world slowed down for Chris. He saw everything, the wedding, the laughs you both had. Even the simple things like how whenever he got up, which was always well before you woke up; he’d stare at you, brushing your cheekbones with his knuckles. Watching your peaceful form and marveling at how effortlessly gorgeous you are. Now as he watches you, seeing the shreds of you that were left, he had a realization. He realized all at once that the person he loves and has always loved is dead. She’s dead, along with his child, because of him.

You started staring off tears freely falling, “I just want my baby… Bin, I want my baby.” 

Your heart rate started climbing fast as you stared at your lap, seeing blood that wasn’t there anymore, then blinking and it disappearing, your face began to show distress, as tears started falling, and your mouth opened letting out rapid puffs of air. Bin looked at Han and yelled at him, "Get the nurses, go!" The next second Han ran out the door as the alarms went off on the monitors. 

Bin looked at you and said, “Hey look at me, stay here with me, Angel.” Then he looked at Minho and said, “Clear the room. Get Chan out of her NOW!” Minho immediately started getting everyone up and out of the room as fast as possible. 

Chris slowly backed up until he hit the wall,everything moving in slow motion. He looked at the monitor, seeing your ungodly fast heart rate. The fact that you could die right now from a heart attack made him want to collapse to his knees and start praying. Chris was watching how Bin handled you, tears were starting to sting in his eyes. He was shaking, feeling the gold of his wedding band as he watched a man who was so much more than he could be. How delicate he was with you. Why did I do this? 

He was staring at your face, he could see it, the heartbreak. He wanted to help, to take all of it back. Flashes of memories flickered in his mind. All of the opportunities he had to be with you but chose not to. All of the times that you would try to save him from himself, even if it was as simple as reminding him to eat. He’d yell at you and tell you that he was a grown up. I’m not grown. You’d remind him to get up and stretch, to be present in the now.  You always tried to connect to him, always tried to soothe him, always tried to bridge the gap he put in between the both of you. His heart felt like lead, sinking further. His voice, his legs, his body didn’t move. It was Innah who dragged him out of the room by the collar.

Bin looked back at you, “Y/N…” He could see, you were completely dissociated. 

You weren’t responding to him at all, eyes glazed over as your heart rate kept climbing, you were glancing around, clearly confused. What he didn’t know is that you felt everything at once. You could hear him like he was underwater. Your vision was blurry, and you really couldn’t feel anything aside from the pain in your chest at the thought of anything, because you felt guilty.

“Angel, look at me, try to breathe for me. Come back to me.” 

“They should be here, not me. My baby didn’t deserve that Binnie. I want to hold my baby!” You screamed, “I want to take them a bath, feed them, I want my Baby.”

Bin realized then that it’s the reality that’s so painful. Everything that was around you reminded you of the fact that you were living and your child wasn’t. He could see the pain on your face as he gently held your face, trying to get through to you. “I know you want to hold your baby, I want that too. I want that so badly but I can’t give you your baby, that can’t happen. No one can bring your baby back, Angel.” Tears were rolling down his face at seeing you like this. Your eyes were constantly searching as more tears fell from them, he tried to wipe the tears away as fast as they rolled down your cheeks.

 Bin got behind you, caging you with his arms and chest. He pulled you flush to his chest and ran his hands up and down your arms as he slowly rocked you. He was trying to provide enough stimulation to get you back to being able to self-regulate. You were only getting worse as he watched helplessly. He tilted your head back to see you spiraling further down, “Binnie help me. I want my baby please.” You just wanted to let it consume you already. 

You quaked as you wished out loud, screaming without even knowing it, “Please, just let me die, let me go, I want my Baby.” You knew it was the pain, but at this point, not having your child was worse than death. You screamed without fighting anymore. Sometimes the seconds would stretch as you screamed till no air was left to make a noise. Those sobs made you feel like your chest was in a car crusher. You couldn’t stop them no matter how hard you tried, but in your mind, there was no point in stopping them. 

Changbin’s blood ran cold hearing you say that, feeling as if he got dunked in an ice bath. He choked on his own breath as he did his best to try to get his own voice to work. You may not want to be here right now, but he’s going to make sure that you make it. He looked into your eyes and they were completely dilated, you just lay on Bin’s chest as you made the decision. You were done fighting, the pain was too much. Bin felt it, he could feel the fight leave you as you went limp, crying. 

He knows this feeling… this was the same feeling that he felt when you were losing consciousness. His gaze snapped to your eyes, no fight, no struggle. You looked like you were calling out to Death. You wanted it so badly. What was worse was that Death was answering, he could feel it in the room. Cold, dark, and looming. 

His body went into overdrive, the shock melting into panic. He wasn’t going to let Death take you, “Han hurry up, she's slipping!” He screamed at the door. His scream didn’t sound like him. The sound akin to a bystander watching a loved one jump from a bridge. Watching the body disappear all because of one step. He couldn’t wouldn’t let you fall. He screamed as if he dove for your hand, the same hand that fits so perfectly in his, as you threatened to disappear over the ledge of that bridge.

Bin got closer to your ear, so you could hear him better, “Please don’t say that. I know it hurts, just stay with me, hold on. I’m here. Stay with me. You can’t leave me here, please.” Changbin tilted your head, so you could hear his heartbeat. Subconsciously thinking, If you go I go. He gently wrapped his arm across your breastbone, trying to provide some soothing pressure to your chest. His hand resting on your opposite arm, rubbing the meat of it in a soothing pattern. His other hand was petting your hair. The hold he had you in gave you someone to hold on to. As soon as his forearm rested you wrapped your hands around it, grabbing his hand as you dangled on the ledge.

“Binnie it hurts, pleaseee. Help me, it hurtss.” You sobbed, your voice cracking and breaking, a mirror of your soul. Bin continued to slowly rock you, “I know Angel, I know I want to take it away. Just hold on for me. Hold on to me.” He had no idea how he was able to be calm for you. A part of him knew that he needed to. He was not going to collapse so you could face all of this on your own. He refused. He needed to fight for you, and he would, for eternity if he had to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[dwaekkicidal]

idk what this is. but i love academic(rivals)/college fics and also secretly-hard-dom kai

wc» 640

cw» porn with little to no plot, p in v, mentions of multiple orgasms, handcuffs, kai calls reader “pretty doll” but also a “stupid slut”, squirting

plap, plap, plap

kai’s hips smack into yours, his soaked balls creating a nasty, wet slapping noise each time they land on your clit. he’s not let up once- nor does he have any plan to.

your thigh highs have started to slide down your legs, the hem of them balling up and falling out of place from the sheer force of his thrusts.

“pretty doll.”

his words mean nothing to your mushy brain thanks to the multiple orgasms he’s already ripped from you- and he still hasnt even came once yet…

the clank of the handcuffs around your wrists ground you mentally for a moment before you zone out again, this time distracted by a mix of the overstimulation and the newfound information of how much of an absolute dom your sweet, timid peer was.

he’s always been the quiet one in your classes, the professors always opting to leave him alone in fear that he would melt into his chair and disintegrate from fear of social interaction.

but now that you knew the real kai, they all seemed so stupid.

the “real” kai was the one who had you almost completely bare on his bed (save for your tank top that was currently pulled above your tits). he had you sideways yet still completely at his mercy as he pummeled into you.

the real kai was the one who had a hand in your hair and the other spreading your ass cheek, allowing him to go a little deeper than before although he still hadnt been able to push the last bit of his length in. the action made your eyes roll into the back of your head and you couldnt do much but let your head slump against the pillow.

“k-kai-“

“shut up and just take it.” his harsh words made you whimper and the hand on your ass moved to come down on your tit, slapping you across it lightly in order to quiet you down. “c’mon baby~ you talked all that shit at the party about how my ‘subby ass’ couldn’t handle you- where did all that confidence go? hm?”

your eyes squeezed shut as his hips manages to pick up pace again. that mixed with the deep and sexy groans he let out was enough to make you tighten like a vice around him.

“stupid slut. talking all that smack when you can barely take my cock all the way.” as if to add insult to injury, he thrusted one last time into you before stopping, then he rolled his hips and angled his body so he could bottom out inside of you. completely this time.

“sh-it! kai!”

“mmmm scream my name more, baby. let the whole fucking campus know who’s fucking your brains out. let them know who has you cockdrunk and fucked silly~“

the hand in your hair tightens and tilts your head to the side, giving him space to suck and bite down on your neck, while the other hand pushes your leg up towards hour chest and slides those long fingers between your thighs, rubbing quick circles around your clit.

his thrusts are sloppy as he continues fucking you towards another orgasm, but the icing on the cake for you was when he moaned into your neck and bit into your neck as he finally came- releasing literally so much hot cum into you that you convulse at the sensation and fucking squirt.

he gasps and fucks you through it until the flow stops. his hips stopped finally and you loosened your death grip on his wrist to catch your breath. you don’t notice that he’s gone quiet until the bed creaks, but before you have time to react you’re flipped over onto your back and he’s already inserting himself into you again.

“we’re not finished until you do that again.”

Taglists: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams

[jo-writes-fanfic]

Love & Mischief

Loki x Female!Reader

Rating: M (Mature)

Warnings: There's nothing explicit, some allusions to sex, probably language, violence, and heavy descriptions of grief and loss, although there is somewhat of a happy ending.

Word count: About 2.9k

Synopsis: You're Asgard's goddess of love and loyalty, but you've lost your god of mischief, how do you move forward?

Author’s note: This is set in Thor Love and Thunder. Also if you've ever seen the last scene of the show Reign, it has an inspiration in this fic too. I've had a lot of grief and loss in my life lately and this felt very therapeutic to write. I've tried writing for Loki a couple of times but always chickened out, so I really hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully there will be more to come!

I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!

“And what are you the goddess of?” 

The words resounded in your head again and again and again.

When Hela said those words to you, years ago, you had fired back, so sure of yourself and your role in Asgard, your role in your life, your role in his life. 

But now…

What was a goddess of loyalty and love who no longer had love? Who no longer believed in such things as fate and security in love? 

Your powers should have died when he did. 

It was an odd pairing to many, you knew. But it worked perfectly, your strengths and weaknesses worked in tandem and created a love worth fighting for. 

But the fight was gone. 

The god of mischief (and betrayal- some would argue) and the goddess of loyalty and love were a match made in Valhalla. 

Until he was gone, ripped from you so violently that you still woke up screaming from nightmares regularly. 

You sat next to your king in New Asgard during another security council meeting. 

You were completely zoned out, thinking of bright blue-green eyes, dark curls, and a blade-thin smile. Valkyrie nudged you. “Hey, tone it down, you're bumming out the whole room,” she whispered. 

You sighed and blinked out of your reverie, and finally noticed that the mood of the room, despite the recent good news that had been received (you can’t remember what it was - honestly, you forgot to pay attention, these meetings were very dull and tended to drone on) was altogether glum. 

“Sorry,” you whispered back and reigned your mood in. 

Normally, your powers were extremely helpful; tightening the bonds of loyalty in those around you, increasing love in both romantic and familial bonds, reading others moods - often influencing them, and sometimes even manipulating loyalties. But currently, drowning in grief as you had been the past several years, your powers were more of a burden than anything. 

The heaviness in the room instantly lightened, and the conversation flowed in a more productive direction once more. 

“We need to talk about these moods of yours,” Val said once she was satisfied that the meeting was going better. 

“No thanks,” you grumbled, and promptly zoned out once more. You really preferred it when Thor was also a mess, before he got his shit together, and you weren’t the only one that hadn’t moved on from the repercussions of the war with Thanos. But you know what they say, misery loves company. And back then, no one nagged you as much to get your shit together. 

“A little help here?” the king asked you, irritation in her tone. 

Another disagreement had broken out, this time a fist fight. Honestly, you found it amusing and were inclined to let it go on for a while, but when Val glared at you, you stood up and clapped once. 

Everyone stopped their movements immediately and looked up at you. 

“Enough,” you said sternly. “Asgard, though we may have differing opinions, we all fight for the same thing, the prospering of New Asgard. Remember that,” you ordered, infusing the room with compliance, reminding them of their bonds of loyalty. 

Everyone looked sheepish and sat back down. 

You flourished a hand to Val and said, “My king,” giving her the floor. 

She gave them all a rousing speech, it was honestly quite good, some of her best work, and then ended the dreadful meeting early, much to your relief. 

“Good job, boss. Well, I’m off-” 

“Not so fast,” she said as she caught your arm. 

You sighed once again. 

“Do we need to talk about this? About Lo-” 

“Don’t say his name,” you hissed and the tension in the room raised significantly as your anger and grief filled the space, making the large room feel claustrophobic.  

She sighed and took your hand. 

“Look, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through and what you’ve lost. We can all feel it from time to time and I know it’s an incredibly heavy burden. I’m just concerned for you and want to help you,” she said. 

With tears in your eyes, you nodded. 

“I’m concerned about me too,” you mumbled. 

“What can I do to help? Tell me.  Anything,” she practically begged. 

“Nothing, unless you can drag him back from Valhalla,” you muttered and brushed past her. 

And life continued to trudge forward. As a goddess, never had such a short amount of years felt so long, an eternity really. 

You felt as if you were stuck in a time loop and every day was close to the same. 

You woke up and for a split second forgot he was gone and reached across your bed to find it cold. Then, a wave of grief hit you that was so heavy, each and every time, that you forgot how to breathe. 

Eventually you forced yourself out of bed, shoved some food in your mouth as you rushed out the door and met Valkyrie for early morning training. Then you usually sat by the sea and stared as the sun rose in the sky, thinking of him but trying so hard not to. And again, you forced yourself on. 

You completed your daily tasks as the King’s right hand goddess; meetings, meetings, and more meetings usually. Most nights you sat at the bar, watched Valkyrie drink an ungodly amount, then when you got bored enough you walked through New Asgard. 

You walked and walked, thinking if you moved enough, if you stayed ahead of your sadness, maybe it wouldn’t catch you in the morning. 

It always did. 

Rinse and repeat. 

There were differences of course, sometimes, you had to leave New Asgard to do the whole ambassador thing. Occasionally Thor came to visit and brought along his various cohorts and problems.  

Today was one of those days. You were improving in your hand to hand combat skills, according to your King, through your daily rigorous training sessions, which pleased you since you spent most days feeling like you wanted to fight the whole nine realms. And then, following your routine, you sat on the cliffside and stared at the sea. 

You never even got to give him a proper funeral, you thought, which then made you think of Frigga and the beautiful funeral service for her that you had watched through tears. 

A voice called your name, you looked back and for a moment, a blink and you miss it moment, you saw him. A flash of green-blue eyes and inky black hair, your heart skipped a beat and the vision was gone. 

You shook your head in an attempt to clear it, honestly these flashes of him you’ve been having lately should be concerning, but instead you clung to them, desperate for any connection to him that you could get. 

Although the true sight before you was one that made you smile, as Thor came up and wrapped you in a bear hug. 

You wheezed and when he finally put you down he chuckled heartily. 

“How are you?” he asked and you gave him a look like he should know the answer to that question. 

“Well I have something that should cheer you right up,” he said as he steered you back towards the town. 

“Does it involve needing my help to fight another dangerous life-threatening bad guy?” you asked wryly. 

“Perhaps….” he said. 

You huffed a laugh and said, “I’m in.” 

The threat you were fighting turned out to be a whole lot more dangerous and life-threatening than you anticipated. 

Which is how you found yourself on a ship with Thor, Jane, Valkyrie, and Korg on an unfortunate adventure to confront the God Butcher. 

Watching Thor and Jane fall back in love was not doing much for your mood. Val handed you another drink and you downed it. 

“Hey, hey, you’re totally bringing down the vibe, mate. This is supposed to be about love,” Korg said to you. You huffed and rolled your eyes. 

You made an effort to lessen the dark cloud you’d brought on the ship. 

“Do you think you’ll ever find love again?” Val asked you, after she confessed that she’d avoided any serious relationships for decades. 

“No,” you said, like it was final. 

“Really?” Korg asked. “Shouldn’t the goddess of love fall in love easily?” 

You shot him a glare. 

“I love. I love a great many people. But true love, like soulmates and shit, that only comes once in a lifetime. And after you’ve had it, you’re pretty much ruined for anything less. So no, I don’t think I’ll ever truly find love again,” you said with a sigh. 

“Heavy,” he replied and you cracked up. 

You laughed so hard you snorted, and at first your friends looked at you in shock, then joined you in laughter, and the room filled with love once again, the love of friendship, and you realized you’ve been overlooking the amount of love you actually had in your life due to your grief. 

You grabbed Val’s hand and patted Korg’s disembodied head, and watched Thor and Jane reignite their flame of love. 

“I love you all and am grateful for all the support you’ve given me,” you said. 

“No final confessions,” Valkyrie said, “this is not the end for any of us.” 

You nodded and then the ship reached its destination. The shadow realm yawned open in front of your vision and you gulped. 

You had this horrible feeling, like dread, in the pit of your stomach, and you saw him again. That flash you’ve seen so many times recently, but more and more frequently since this misadventure started and that dread molted in your stomach into resolve. 

You were certain and you were ready. 

Of course the plan went immediately sideways. You crossed swords with Gorr the God Butcher and your heart threatened to pound out of your chest. 

Yes, your sword fighting skills had improved, but not enough to be a good match for a seasoned warrior and god killer. 

“What are you the Goddess of? Are you even worth my sword?” he growled out. 

You gritted your teeth and went on the attack. Your rage filled the space as you dodged, slashed, and pushed him as hard as you could. 

You could hear your friends yelling, but you couldn’t lose your focus even for a moment as he pushed back and fought with skill beyond your own. 

And you realized you’d been doing this all wrong. You were fighting without your biggest asset, your own natural gifts and abilities. The powers that made you a goddess of Asgard. 

He didn’t notice your impact on his mood because your rage didn’t even touch the deep well of his own, he didn’t feel your rage due to the mountain that was his own. 

No, rage wouldn’t work, you thought, and as your swords crossed again you used your other hand to grab his. 

Your power was more potent when you were skin to skin.

You poured love and loyalty into your enemy, thinking only of happiness and good memories, trying to lessen his rage. Trying to decrease his fight, hoping to convince him to put down his sword. 

Your breath caught into a gasp as his emotions infected your own. His love and loyalty were intertwined with an ocean of grief. Just like your own. 

And you were drowning. 

His emotions, his rage at the injustice and unfairness and unending sadness felt so close to your own emotions that you were thrown back into a memory. 

Your worst memory, actually, the day you lost him for good. And you knew your enemy was in his worst memory as well. The origin of his grief. 

Just like you watched the origin of your grief as it unfolded in front of you once more. The reason for your nightmares, the reason you woke up screaming, you stepped back and gasped as the memory overcame you. 

And Gorr did the same. 

You think the sound might be the worst part. Loki’s choking. Or maybe it was the snapping sound, like a branch, a snap that ended everything for him. And for you. 

And then there’s the sight. You couldn’t even describe it, it was too awful to explain. You’ve never spoken about it, even in the therapy sessions your King forced you to attend. 

He thudded to the ground and you gasped as the vision cleared. 

You were drowning in your own grief and it was clear Gorr was more accustomed to drowning than you. 

He recovered one second quicker, and your battlefield reflexes were not quite up to par. 

You slashed your sword up but all it did was clang against his where it was embedded in your stomach. 

All the air whooshed from your lungs. 

“You are not a god that deserves death, are you?” he said as he cocked his head. “But you lost faith in yourself, in what you stand for.” 

You weren’t even sure you felt the pain. Maybe the shock inhibited your ability to feel any pain. You’d been injured before, sure, but you always felt the sharpness of it. But of course you’ve never been hurt this severely. 

You tried to speak, but it came out as a groan. 

“I am sorry,” he said and slowly slid the sword from your abdomen and you fell to your knees. Blood gushed and you saw that flash again. 

“Beautiful,” you mumbled as you saw the flash of a wry smirk, eyes full of love, and a hand outstretched towards you. Beckoning you. 

Finally, you thought. 

The last thing you heard was Thor roaring and your king calling your name as she caught you before your body hit the ground. 

There was darkness, utter darkness, and then a solid weight beneath you. 

You realized you were laying down. You were laying on the most comfortable bed you’d ever had the pleasure of sleeping on. 

Sleeping? Are you sleeping? Wasn’t there something…something painful? You couldn’t remember. 

You blinked your eyes open and let out all the air in your lungs. 

Your eyes filled with tears, this time happy tears. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you cried happy tears. 

Loki laid beside you, close enough for you to touch, staring at you with such love in his eyes that tears spilled down your cheeks. 

“Oh,” you gasped. 

He reached out and cupped your cheek, wiping the tears away. 

You sobbed, and he shushed you even as he pulled you closer. You buried your face in his bare chest and he crushed you against him, so tight, tight enough that you were sure he would never let you go again. 

He ran his hand up and down your back, and with a start you realized you were void of clothes as well. 

You awoke in the afterlife just as you would have every day of the best years of your life with him; naked in his bed after a night of making love with adoration in his eyes as he watched you sleep. 

You took a shuddering breath and pulled back to look at him in the eyes once more, your hands never leaving his body, you ran them up his chest, across his face, twirled your fingers in his hair. 

“This is Valhalla, isn’t it?” you asked. 

“Yes, my love,” he said, and kissed the fresh tears on your cheeks away. 

Then he kissed your lips. It was a delicate thing at first, but then it molted and grew until it felt exactly like it used to. The kiss cemented you to him, secured you right where you should be, where he had been waiting for you. 

And all of the pain you experienced before that kiss didn’t even matter anymore. Because you loved him and he loved you, and that’s all. 

His lips moved against yours and your tears mixed with his and it was perfect. You loved him, that’s all. 

You weren’t angry at him for dying and leaving you alone. You weren’t drowning in heavy emotions anymore. You held no grudges or hard feelings over anyone or anything anymore, not now that you were in the arms of your greatest love once more. 

“It’s been so long,” you gasped out when he pulled back and smiled. 

“I know,” he said with a small smile. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. 

“I am as well,” he replied, simply and sweetly. 

You felt light as a feather. You felt released from your pain and anguish. You were with him again, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Isn’t the introduction to Valhalla traditionally supposed to be much different?” you asked. 

He smirked and mischief twinkled in his eyes, “It is possible I managed to bend some rules for you.” 

You huffed a laugh and pulled him into another kiss. One that could’ve lasted seconds or could’ve lasted a lifetime. It didn’t really matter. You had eternity in the hall of warriors with your Loki, and you were secure knowing you died fighting for the ones you loved. 

“Would you like me to give you the grand tour?” he whispered in your ear as he pulled back from your lips and began kissing his way across your skin. 

“Maybe later,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him atop of you. 

“We have an eternity,” he promised and kissed you, slow and deep. 

Tagging those who showed interest in this fic (thanks for the support!) : @thespiralstaircasewriter @bellaisasleep @elly-hiddlesherloki @izhunny @drachenkinder @spacefloosie

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey, y’all. Not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

I started using Tumblr in the far off year of 2012, when I was 16. I started off in the Hunger Games fandom right as the movies were coming out, and I made so many amazing friends on here. I eventually moved on to different fandoms, namely SuperWhoLock (The combined fandom of Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock. If you know, you know). There were ups and downs, but fandom was a community I could rely on. Strangers on the internet were supportive of me, even if we weren't necessarily close, people made an avid effort to interact with each other and have conversations with people on here.

I took a break when I started college, trying to navigate my way through my newly aqcuired adult status, and Tumblr kind of fell by the wayside after a while. But, when I left there was still a thriving community in fandom with people interacting with each other, coming up with theories for things, coming up with theories and headcanons about beloved characters. Comments and reblogs were plentiful, and fanfic, fanart, etc. were a two sided conversation. You didn't even have to write fanfic or make fanart in order to get interactions.

I came back a couple of years ago, logging in here and there to lurk and read fanfic on my old blog. I discovered Top Gun: Maverick and felt compelled to write my very first fanfiction: Don't Hang'em Til Noon. I was so excited to share it because I saw that no one else had done a Wild West!AU, and I was excited to share my work and talk about it and the actual movie with people on here. I did find people who were as excited as I was, and that was great. But then I got one of my first anonymous messages.

"You really need to calm down."

Calm down? Why? I thought the whole point of fandom was that we were all excited about this one thing? I was so confused.

I kept writing, and the hate anons kept coming. I was accused of thinking I'm better than everyone on here (why, I still don't understand), I was accused of thinking I run the fandom (probably because I pointed very obvious things out), and more. I take it on the chin usually, but of course words still hurt. This was not what I remembered fandom being like, and I found that the longer I kept doing this, the more it started to feel like a chore versus something I genuinely enjoyed.

I get hundreds of votes in my polls for what to update or what to do next, but the notes and interactions are not reflecting this. I got more interactions as someone who didn't create fan works twelve years ago than I do as a content creator now. The attitude towards fandom has changed.

It's no longer a community, it's a popularity contest. People put down others to make themselves feel better, which was always a thing, but not it's more prevalent. It's become a numbers game, and it shouldn't be. People say that they're too afraid to comment or put themselves out there to talk to creators, but guess what? It's terrifying to put your work out there to be seen by so many people and to be judged. And it's discouraging to see the amount of people who like but won't leave a comment or reblog. Do you actually like it? How am I supposed to know?

Some of you are so jealous of others, that you've let it consume you. You attack me for my AUs, claiming that they're boring and uninteresting, and yet? There are some of you who've seen how invested some people have become with my stories and have tried to emulate them. You're not venturing into AU because you genuinely want to. You're doing it because you see that there's a market for it. You're the same people who mocked me for doing it in the first place.

There's a whole group on here that are so bitter and insecure about their own abilities, that they feel the need to put others down, and I'm not mad. If anything, I feel genuinely sorry for you.

There have always been problems with fandom, but not like this. I don't know if this is all specific to the TGM fandom, but y'all? I'm exhausted. I'm tired of putting so much of myself out there to only here crickets or demands for more. What happened to actual conversation? Waht happened to interacting for the sake of interacting?

I've made some genuinely amazing friends on here, and I talk to them pretty much every single day. However, I need a break from this website. I need to find my love for writing again, and I won't be able to do it on here while things continue to be the way they are. So, this is my long ass way of announcing that I'm officialy going on hiatus for a little while, at least the month. I will be focusing on writing We Abide as an original story the way it was originally intended to be. I will not be on during this time. I will not continue to pressure myself to update for you all when you give me next to nothing in return. And if this makes me the villain? Then so be it.

For those of you who've been a constant source of comfort, laughter, inspiration, etc.? I love you. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful to all of you, and if at the end of my month away I decide to come back, I hope you'll still be here to read what I give.

Until next time.

-Liz

[zepskies]

hi! so I had a question, how long did it take you to build a following on tumblr? how long have you been writing for spn as a whole (I assume you started with it but I’m not sure I meant when did you start writing on the app mostly) and do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you for other people? (I hope the wuestion made sense)

Hi there, lovely anon!

Oh, these are great questions, and I'm happy to answer. I'm going to be referencing this post, as someone asked me a similar question.

I also talk a lot about my beginning fanfic/coming to Tumblr experience and building a following in this interview I did with the @idlingintheimpalapodcast.

That being said, here's how I got started in SPN fandom and on Tumblr, and 6 Tumblr Tips related to how I've tried to grow my blog:

Learn How Tumblr Functions

Create a Tag List

Posting Schedules, Announcements, and Sneak Previews

People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements) + shoutouts to blogs I looked to for inspo

Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Deeper dive below the cut:

Writing for SPN & Starting on Tumblr

To be honest, I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to Tumblr. I've written for many different fandoms over the 15 years or so I've been writing fanfic, but I've been writing for Supernatural in particular since around 2015. I wrote on platforms like Fanfiction.net, and later I moved over to Ao3.

I dabbled with Tumblr starting in 2021 while I was working on a Billy Butcher x OC story for the Boys (And So It Goes). But after watching the last season of SPN, I got the SPN bug again, so I started dipping back into the fandom.

But I wasn't really that active on Tumblr until January 2023, when I wrote my first soulmate AU series for Dean Winchester, called Never Say Goodbye (Dean x soulmate!Reader).

That started a very fun journey for me in the Tumblr world, engaging with people and making friends here with awesome people! 💕

Now, here are a few tips on what I've learned in building my following. You don't have to do exactly what I did. This is just my advice based on my personal experience here:

Tip #1: Learn How Tumblr Functions

Everything has been a process of trial and error. I have a professional background in content and social media marketing, so that knowledge has helped me a lot with some elements I'll get into later.

But it took me time to learn the Tumblr landscape. I had to figure out:

Why it's important to reblog -- not just your own work in replying to people's comments, but what you read and enjoy. It's what makes Tumblr go 'round.

The different mobile vs. desktop views and functions.

How to format my posts and use hashtags that would best optimize my fics and posts, based on the most followed tags in the fandom I was writing for.

How to create design elements, like banners, dividers, and headers that matched my aesthetic and the fandom.

Make sure my blog is easy to read, visually, and easy to navigate, technically (links to my masterlists, series masterlists, tag list, my fic library side blog, Patreon, etc.).

I'm still adjusting all these things now and then as I figure out new ways to keep readers engaged, and make my blog as easy to navigate as possible.

Tip #2: Create a Tag List

A tag list is a list of blog users that request to be tagged in your upcoming fics. (See this post on tips for formatting tag lists and optimizing hashtags on posts.)

Some authors don't do tag lists anymore because they find it a hassle (and it can be), but even if you're just starting out, advertise your tag list -- I suggest at the end of a fic and in your bio, your masterlist, and/or navigation page. It will get more eyes on your posts, and hopefully more engagement.

I used Google Forms to build up my tag lists because it's easy to use and it creates a Google spreadsheet for you based on the responses you get (an idea I got from another writer who was doing the same thing). You can also create more sheets within the file to organize the responses by character, for example.

On my tag list, I gave readers options to choose which character they wanted to be tagged on based on the fandoms I write for. I also created tag lists for new series to go with the series masterlist. Like I said above, I created spreadsheets for each of these lists within my tag list form master sheet.

Now, you don't have to do it exactly this way. There are many ways to keep track of a tag list.

Some people may think my approach is too much work, but this was very successful for me in building up my tag lists and increasing my following. Staying organized is key! 🤓✌🏽

I have since created a side blog @zepskieswrites for people to follow with notifications on, since my character tag lists are full.

Tip #3: Posting Schedules, Announcements & Sneak Previews

When my blog started to gain traction from my first SPN series, I knew I wanted to post consistently to keep people's interests. For me, this meant once a week (sometimes more if the mood strikes me), to keep that momentum going. YouTube vloggers do the same thing for this reason. They have a set posting schedule and give announcements.

You don't have to post once a week. You don't even have to have a set schedule. That's just what I did last year to increase engagement, but also because I love to write, I was getting inspired, and I made the time for it!

Remember that writing and sharing your work and being a part of the fandom on Tumblr is supposed to be fun! At the same time, what you get out of something depends on how much time you have to put into it.

Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into my writing and my blog, but only because it’s been very fun to do it! 😉

Now, going back to being consistent. It can help you! When people know they have content waiting for them by a certain timeframe, and they see that you stick to that deadline, they're more likely to tune in and engage with your work.

Of course, real life comes first, always, and things can derail you, but on the whole I make sure that I keep my word when I say I'm going to post something. Tumblr has a scheduling feature that allows you to schedule posts ahead of time, which I use on a daily basis. That can help you as well.

To try and generate buzz around new stories, I give writing updates or announcements, often with sneak previews, and the dates when I plan to drop the upcoming story. When I'm writing a series, on each chapter I give a preview of the next one, so I can try to keep people invested and waiting for the next chapter.

Tip #4: People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements)

A huge element of successful content and social media is visuals. The first thing people are often drawn to when they look at a web page, an ad, or any kind of digital content is the picture -- and any other visual elements. Then they look at the title/headline, followed by the rest of the story.

This is why I always lead with the title of the story/headline and a GIF or image at the top of the post for a story. Draw readers in with their eyes to the visual, and then the content. I now create my own design elements, including story headers.

When I got started here on Tumblr, I also took a closer look at how other popular blogs I admired were organizing their masterlists, formatting their stories with banners, dividers, tags/warnings, word count, creating tag lists, and more -- both to create their blog aesthetic and to make it easier for readers to enjoy their work on different levels -- the content itself, and the visual elements.

Shoutouts to some of those writers I looked to, who have a lovely blog aesthetic and organization: @luci-in-trenchcoats @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Form and function is a balance, and they should work together. For example, there are some design/post formatting elements that are getting popular now on Tumblr that I personally don't vibe with, because I think it takes away from the reader's experience.

Like making the entire post or story in small case. Readers that have trouble seeing small fonts won't want to read this.

or making everything in the story lower case. this just bothers me for grammatical reasons. guarantee i will be turned off from reading. 😂

Also, most people browse Tumblr on their phone rather than on desktop. (About 62% according to current Semrush statistics.) So certain things that are small in your desktop version will be even smaller on mobile.

If you have a custom blog design, some design elements may not transfer well visually on mobile vs. desktop, and vice versa. So you'll want to check both versions to see how it looks, and possibly make adjustments.

Now, this isn't to say you have to become a graphic designer if that's not your thing. There are plenty of people who share their lovely designs for free, as long as you make sure to credit them if you use one of their banners, dividers, etc. Check out @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics, for example.

Some of them even take requests. Just make sure to check their bio to see if they state whether they're currently taking requests or not. (This also goes for writers on fic requests.)

Tip #5: Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

This is part of the fun when you start truly engaging with the fandoms you love.

Likes are cool. Comments are wonderful. Reblogs with comments are awesome, because not only do they get that engagement/feedback that they can reply to, but the reblog helps your fellow writers get seen. And while they aren't obligated to, they might be more inclined to do the same for you.

You'll also start to develop relationships within your fandom community. This is how I've made many friends and gained new readers on Tumblr -- by reblogging, sharing, commenting on what I liked about the fics I read. 💜

I try my best to support my fellow writers, no matter how new or how popular they are. Just because a writer has a bigger following, doesn't mean they appreciate feedback any less.

Feedback gives us writers energy and fuels us to write more. It can lead to more inspiration, and to continue the series you might be so invested in.

So if I took the time to read something, if I enjoyed it, I'm usually reblogging it and sharing my thoughts, even if it's just a gif or a couple of lines, or a long raving review. 💖

Tip #6: When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Along with supporting my fellow writers, engaging with the lovely people who read my work is just good fun! It's the best part of sharing my work on here and on Ao3. And it lets them know that you value and appreciate them for taking the time to comment and/or comment in a reblog. 💓💓💓

I hope these tips are helpful! Now, to answer your last question...

Do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you

[to build a following] for other people?

Interesting, but the truth is, I'm not sure. My knowledge of content and social media marketing has probably given me a leg up, I think, even though it took me a while to learn the Tumblrscape. I've also been writing fanfic for a long time. Long before I ever heard about Tumblr.

I've spent years studying literature, creative writing, and screenwriting, and putting it into practice. I've spent years writing for other voices besides my own, outside of the fanfic world. Like anyone else, I can only go by what I've learned, my own instincts, my frame of reference, and what I want to write about next.

Like anyone else, I can only hope that what I put out there vibes with people and touches them in some way, enough that they feel comfortable letting me know what they thought about it. 💜

In the meantime, I'll just keep getting inspiration from this guy (and other characters):

[thepiratefish]

Prime defenders if there was tumblr.

Inspired by these posts! Please check them out! More of these will eventually be made in the future :>

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✨️Jimglejangl🔔 follow

I can't believe that le frog is an actual person. One day you'll hear about how he murdered like 18 people then find him sobbing on the sidewalk becuase he dropped his food.

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Edgyyyfalconn follow

A world full of superheros yet I'm still cursed to do taxes

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📘📗 Simmons John follow

The idea of someone with the power to breathe water terrifies me. What if one day I go scuba diving and see some fucker off In the darkness of the sea staring at me. I'd pass away.

✨️Crystalcrayon🖍

[ALT TEXT: A screenshot of various tags left under the previous post reading #Tide #Tide guy #Haha Tide core #Tide would never do this he's to sweet on the other hand he'd probably try giving you stroganoff underwater #Tide when visiting his relatives #Bro dosent even know about Tide #Pov your a bowl of stroganoff. END ID]

📘📗 Simmons John follow

No Fucking Way...

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🪺Eegg🥚follow

They hate me for my silliness (I climbed the giant fucking sword and got arrested..)

🪺Eegg🥚 follow

Anyways, stay around for the live-blog of me getting arrested ✌️😋

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🏠NumberNeighborhood💥💥 follow

There was a man outside my apartment holding groceries while waiting for the light only for both of the bags to BREAK.

🏠NumberNeighborhood💥💥 follow

Just so you all know, this man is 6'0 I think wearing heels with (terrible hidden) lizard skin on one side of his face. It is night where I am, and he hasn't moved for the past five minutes. I can FEEL the anger radiating of him from my apartment.

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BrunchBranch🍽 follow

There was an emo kid on the side of the road holding a rope that was tied around this smaller kid with a red aesthetic and this kid Ran off (I have no idea why) at some Ungodly speed and this poor boy got draged along I Kid you Not he ragdolled like he was in a cartoon. whole ass smoke cloud left behind and everything.

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🦢FarmingFucks🦆follow

Do you think Wavelength listens to Chappell Roan?..

KEYBOARDSPAM🖥 follow

I'm adding this to my fanfic

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💜ThatsAlotOfAshe🎧 follow

2 Notes and I invite The Hero Tide to join me on playing games on stream.

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💙TidetheTidalhero🌊 follow

Dose anyone know where to find a good Pizzaplace? My boys are sick and I want to get them there favourite food! 😁

NumberJester🎊 follow

TIDE!???

💙TidetheTidalhero🌊 follow

Oh! This is the wrong account.

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[floweryrkive]

with you ? always.

a huh yunjin drabble !

genre : fluff, a tad bit of angst.

pairing : idol!yunjin x non!idol! bodyguard!gn!reader, established (secret from everyone) relationship.

warnings : none that I can think of but lmk if I missed anything !

author's note : ah this was going thru my brain so bad that I ended up making another whole blog to upload gg fanfics 😭 the lack of yunjin fics at times is so sad :") anyways enjoy and lmk what you think !

word count : 2.2k

The arena was filled with loud cheering, bright lights and very, very many people yet the one who you wanted to see seemed to not be visible at all.

It was the end of another successful concert, the girls' final greetings having been done and the arena going dark to let them come backstage.

You'd been at the back as well, staring in awe at the way they performed more specifically at the way she did. You don't think you once even looked at anyone else, though you knew and appreciated how hard they all worked but she was, well for you at least, different.

You were head over heels in love with the woman, you'd literally go and pluck the stars from the night sky or go in the deepest of oceans to find the shiniest pearl if she even simply asked you for it.

Huh Yunjin.

And by some miracle you think, she loves you too. Not that you weren't someone who didn't deserve her. You had your own accomplishments which ultimately led you to working as her personal bodyguard.

Though you were pretty sure if someone told you ,a few months ago, that you'd be in a relationship with said woman, you'd probably have punched them for making such an awful joke.

You didn't get on the right foot. Her being stubborn and not wanting a bodyguard to follow her around even if she wants to go to a simple trip to the store while you were just trying to do your job.

She acted like a menace that time but that's a another story for another time.

For now, you just wanted to check up on her. And as though the universe favoured you for the first time in a while, but you do think it did favour you when you somehow ended up with her, you spot her making her way after all the other girls walked in.

Her hair was slightly tousled, sweat covering her forehead and her face all red from performing but you still find her the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid your eyes on.

She seemed to look around for someone, and a small grin made its way on your face, realising she might be looking for you.

Her stylists and the crew were already helping the girls out by giving them water bottles and towels, she seemed to promptly ignore them as she still searched around.

You shook your head when she declined a water bottle and moved your hand to grab one from the person passing them around.

Once you looked up, before you could even call her, she spotted you and maybe it was the lights in the room but her eyes seemed to brighten up even more than they usually were.

You gulped as you realised just how much you loved to see her look at you like that, thinking about what you'd do if it ever disappeared.

She sprinted across the room and stood in front of you. You had to tilt your head slightly down as she was shorter than you. You bit your lower lip to prevent a grin from forming on your face as you saw the same excitement glow on her face each time she seemed around you.

"Hi." She breathed out as a smile formed on her face and you couldn't control your own chuckle as you shook your head.

"Hello." You said with your hands behind your back still holding the water bottle. You looked around briefly, noticing how the busy crew was tending to other matters, leaving Yunjin to her since she didn't seem like she needed anything at the moment.

Well not anything they would be able to provide because what she really wanted was who stood in front of her.

"So what did you think of the performance?!" Her cheery voice brought your attention back to her as she put her hands to her side, clenching her fists as though she was nervous and excited. But also to control herself from throwing herself at you like she sometimes would.

Being the observer you were, you knew she was out of breath seeing her chest rise and fall in quick breaths so you put your hand in front, prompting her to take the water bottle.

"Drink some water first bab— Miss." You coughed out before the nickname slipped, her eyes blinking when she recalled where she was.

"R-right! Water! Yes, uhm thank you." She grabbed the bottle, trying to open it but her hands were sweaty and the condensation on the bottle seemed to have made it slippery too.

"Here." You grabbed her hand and took the bottle back, opening the cap, and handing it back to her.

"Thank you!" She smiled at you as she gulped down a sip, almost moaning in relief as the coolness calmed her throat and mind.

Checking your surroundings, you made sure no one was paying attention before you, leaned in closer to her, just a little forward to not seem suspicious but also only say something she could hear.

"Anything for you, baby." You whispered sweetly as though it was the most normal thing, and it was but not at that time.

You stood straight in time to see her choke, and your eyes widened reaching for her water bottle as you briefly went beside her to pat her on the back.

"Wh-what did you—" Once her coughing stopped, she looked at you while glaring but you could see her cheeks turn pink.

"What? I said nothing." You shrugged innocently, as you put your hands to your side now standing beside her.

"You-!"

"Unnie?" Eunchae came up in front of you, calling Yunjin who was flustered and glaring at you.

"We're going back to the hotel and probably planning to eat out, joining?" She eyes you two, in suspicion but you just looked blankly, looking away from them.

Yunjing thought about it for a second though, because what she really wanted was to spend her time with you now. She was exhausted and didn't feel like going out, just wanted you to hold her until her world was just the scent of your cologne and warm arms around her.

Sighing, she just nodded, trying not to look too disappointed by how her plans seemed to go differently.

"Yeah, yeah, fine." Her tone sounded off but Eunchae figured it was likely exhaustion.

"Alright we'll be in the van!" She happily smiled at you both to which you returned a small grin and Yunjin waved her hand.

"Come on, let's go, they're waiting." You told her as you looked towards the exit door.

"But I wanted to just…nevermind yes let's go!" She shook her head, not finishing her train of thoughts as she moved forward, you trailing behind her in slight confusion as to what her sentence was going to be.

And with that you followed her out to where the van was and greeted the others as you pulled open the door for her.

The night went smoothly after that, having been told you could go on your own after you dropped off the girls at the restaurant, being reassured you weren't needed because it was just below the hotel and there were the other bodyguards there too.

But it took everything in you to not go and hug her when you were saying your farewell for the day, the disappointment and sadness that glimmered before appearing again.

Why was it so hard to just spend time with you?

She was quick to cover it, her smile, the one that was definitely not genuine, on her face as she waved her goodbye to you. She didn't even mouth anything to you, like she usually would when you'd leave and you knew there was something up.

Being the best partner you thrived to be, you got back to the hotel, to your room, changed into comfy grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt while putting on another layer of a black jacket, put on your cap and went about.

It was difficult though. To find a flower shop open at this hour but lucky for you, there was one downtown that sat in a quiet corner. You made your way there and scanned the variety of flowers, the middle aged woman greeting you while you politely greeted her.

Finally settling for a combo of red and white tulips, you got a bouquet made and quickly made your way back to the hotel so as to not seem like some sort of creep. You'd hidden the flowers in a paper bag that the lady gave you and it was better to hide them that way.

Going back to your room, you made sure you looked decent enough, threw the paper bag on your bedside table and got out of your room.

Lucky for you, both yours and her room were near each other. The privilege of a personal bodyguard you suppose. She messaged you a few minutes ago that they were back and she was headed towards her room.

Her last message to you read,

'goodnight :( miss u <3'

It was only two minutes ago, so you doubt she'd be asleep as you stood in front of her door.

You looked down to prevent your face from being visible, scanning the hallway to make sure no else was there before you knocked on the door.

You could hear some shuffling and then it was quiet for a moment before you saw the doorknob turn.

Yunjin was very confused when she saw someone hiding behind a bouquet of flowers, her brain being a little slow in processing due to her exhaustion but also distraction.

You moved the flowers beside your face, her coming into view now before you grinned at her,

"Hi." She had to blink once, she blinked twice and her mouth fell agape.

"Firstly, these are for you. I don't think I told you about your performance, like you were incredible as always and I just felt like bringing you these to show you since I'm not really good with words and—oomph!" You yelped when she leaped forward and into your somewhat open arms. You quickly put one hand around her waist to stabilise her and yourself while holding the bouquet in the other.

Her head buried itself in the crook of your shoulders as her arms wrapped around your neck. She felt a low vibration from your chest indicating you laughing,

"Seems like my surprise is appreciated."

"Come on love, let's head inside yeah?" She just mumbled in agreement as you slowly walked inside. She moved backwards as you guided her by her waist, careful to not bump into the door.

Placing the bouquet near a table by the entrance, you kicked the door closed as you wrapped your moved your hand to close the lock.

Finally you wrapped your arm fully around her as you continued to stay standing, just in each other's embrace. "Honey, is everything fine? Tell me, is there something bothering you?"

"Just…just you. Missed you. Wanted you." She whispered to you so softly, it made you feel the kind of warmth you do when the sun touches your skin on a cold day. It wasn't too far off anyways considering she was your sun, the brightest star in the sky.

"Well you have me now, want to get more comfy love?" Your hand automatically reached for her head and gently caressed her soft hair. She hummed in both agreement and relief as her previous thoughts of not being able to see you went away.

All she knew in that moment was the smell of your homely cologne, the familiar musky sandalwood and the way you engulfed her form in your arms.

She didn't even realise you were both lying down on the bed until she looked up to see you staring back at her. "Good?" Your voice was low making it sound slightly deeper than usual. Just the tone she secretly loved.

There you both laid, your arms around her body and hers around your shoulders, legs somewhat tangled as she looked up at you and gently grinned.

She nodded as you moved your hand up to her cheek, thumb caressing it as you leaned down.

You kissed her forehead as she shut her eyes, you then moved to her right eye, softly pressing your lips and the same to the other. You pecked her nose before finally settling on a longer peck on the lips.

When you pulled back, she made a noise of protest, which had you giggling at her, "What?" You teasingly asked, "More." and before you could tease her more she moved her hand and grabbed you by your jacket collar, promptly pressing your lips against her soft ones.

It was slow and nothing more, allowing you to taste the strawberry lip gloss she'd put on, the one she knew was your favourite, just happy to be with each other after rarely being able to see each other. You smiled into the kiss as she pushed herself more into you.

With the need of oxygen, you both pulled away from each other, her eyes hazy while yours were similar, her cheeks being pinker than usual and you certainly felt your own burning up.

"Feeling better?" She bit her lip before leaning in to brush her nose against yours before whispering three words that made you grin in delight,

"With you? Always."

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

feedback is always appreciated 💌

floweryrkive © 2023

[myfanficfrenzy]

Arshi FF : Pandora’s Box

Author : Munchy

Status : Completed and available on Munchy’s blog

Genre : Romance, Angst, Tragedy

“Keep reading” for my two cents on the story. Minor spoilers ahead. Warnings at the end of the review.

My first serious caution for this story, this isn’t for the faint of heart. If you like your Arnav and Khushi wrapped up in the comfort and warmth of love, away from any and all kinds of hurt and especially morally grey situations, you should probably skip this one. But if you’re a fan of ethereal writing, imperfect characters and a tear jerking angst fest with a side of passionate Arshi, dive right in.

The story’s tagline is ‘That life is a circle is a myth. It spirals’. And that’s exactly one feels reading the story.

Munchy’s story begins in the 1940s, with British ruled India at the brink of partition. While ASR here is Arnav Singh Raizada, KKG is Khushi Kauser Ghilani, two neighbors about to be swept in a whirlwind. The author paints a stunning visual of Punjab and you will find yourself literally back in time with her words. Arnav is back to his ancestral home after his upbringing in English schools and high society of delhi, while Khushi Ghilani had enjoyed a free reign over all the love Arnav’s family could bestow on their lovely neighbor in their small part of the town.

An unfortunate first meet in a Mango Orchard turns our protagonists sour (of course Arnav and Khushi will fight. Duh uh), but they soon find themselves in the web of undeniable attraction towards each other. And right when they’re dealing with minor issues like the first wave of teenage love and heartbreak, the country goes through one of its darkest periods and their lives are turned upside down overnight.

Pointed out to me once in a discussion and I wholeheartedly agree, one of the things that caught me off guard about this fanfic was the portrayal of impact of partition on day to day life of children. You see the worsening environment from their eyes, when suddenly the families and friends they grew up with are now considered enemies. When they can’t be as carefree as they would have loved with their doting neighbours; because now their different faith comes first. Those chapters had me in a chokehold and I’ve read through them with eyes full of tears. The whole story feels like a ticking time bomb when it begins, and it blows up right in your face. Social practices prevalent at that time will also make you want to puke your insides out.

And over the base of all this anguish and tragedy, Arnav and Khushi are looking to build a life together. It hurts every step of the way, so when the small moments of happiness come along you will soak it all up as a reader.

But fair warning, this is Munchy writing angst. And it will make itself known! Every story that I’ve read from her leaves my heart longing for something more, anger at having fate play a cruel role, and almost clawing my brain out, wishing I can get into those pages and fix the whole world for my beloved pair. But as always, life and Munchy’s stories aren’t fair. They’re however emotional, beautiful and extraordinary!

Warnings- Cheating, Violence, Underage Sex

-I

[butternutsquashthesenutz]

RWRB hcs probably pt. 1-

•After they get married everyone (mostly June and Nora) started calling Alex princess. Like, "shut up, princess"

•Henry has read MANY fanfics and written several of his own. This includes a secret five chapter story about him and Alex that stays hidden in the depths of his computer

•I know Taylor Swift is a controversial topic in this fandom, but you cannot tell me Henry "queer historian, writer, and dramatic gay boy" would not jam out to and cry over ts songs alone in his room

•David loves cuddling with Alex, and Henry calls him a traitor, but really he finds it adorable

•Alex has definitely brought some feral animal home that he found on the street hoping to save it and raise it as a pet, and then Henry made him give it to the shelter and he cried all night

•June and Nora get a cat. That's it. They're just cat moms

•When Pez, June, and Nora are all in the same place, they are most likely gonna sleep together

•Phillip gets better and he and Henry are able to work on mending their relationship after Mary dies and neither of them have to deal with her manipulation and abuse

•Alex posts lots of thirst traps, and Henry dies every time

•Alex calls Henry lots of pet names I'm Spanish, and also just in general talks to him a lot in Spanish. Henry has very low understanding of what Alex is saying for the first couple years, but he still melts

•Henry eventually tries to learn Spanish and after a while he can carry a conversation. Oscar often makes fun of his pronunciation though

•Alex is an apple user Henry is an android user. They argue about it often

•Alex's shit got rocked when Hamilton came out. He saw it 10 times

•They continue to have a New Year's party for several years after Ellen leaves office.

•They have a daughter and a son, the son is Henry and June's biologically, and the daughter's Alex and Bea's biologically. Both are referred to as aunt though. Also they used IVF not sex, just to be clear.

•When Alex turns 35, a petition is spread around social media trying to get him to run for president. It gets double the needed signatures, but he doesn't end up running.

•Alex usually tops, but not always. Henry is usually more dominant though.

•I know in cannon Bea gets married to someone (presumably a man) but I hc that she's also gay and meets a girl whose picking her friend up from and na meeting. (Idk, I have a whole story set out for Bea's love life)

•Not really a hc, but Henry has def ridden Alex while wearing a cowboy hat

•Pez always buys the children of the super six super lavish and expensive gifts when ever he visits, and becomes the favorite of the aunts and uncles

•After their first fight once married, Alex has a huge panic attack thinking they won't make it together, but Henry calms him down and it doesn't happen again

•Zhara and Shaan have a daughter who is the scariest little girl in the world. Alex is legitimately scared to get on her bad side.

•David has his own insta account and he has many photos in little outfits

•Henry and Alex write letters to each other every time one of them has to go somewhere for work, just for old times sake

•Henry's first novel absolutely kills all the queer teens, and is basically that universe's RWRB

•Alex often steals Henry's Jaffa cakes and won't ever admit it. Henry knows, and he finds it adorable

•Ever so often Alex will get super into some new topic and do loads of research, and write essays or make presentations on it and then share it with Henry so he can teach him everything he now knows.

•Lowkey canon, but Henry's a Maurauders era fan

•He's also a Tumblr girly and has had a secret blog for years

•The super six do slideshow nights, here's an example of one of those nights: Henry: People from History You Didn't Know Where Queer, Nora: The Statistical Likelihood of Each of Us Releasing a Rap Album, Pez: Rating Everyone's Exes, Bea: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Henry I Can Think of, Alex: Hottest Politicians Around the World, June: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Alex I Can Think of (Her and Bea worked together)

•Occasionally Henry will use an American term (like saying chips when he meant crisps) and Alex will use a British term (like jumper instead of sweater), and both get very upset when it happens (whoever didn't slip up finds it hilarious)

•They joke around whenever a gossip site releases an article about their relationship, like, "oh look, I've apparently left you and headed back to England after you cheated on me" "oh, good for you, that was a rude thing for me to do"

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Nothing's Going On -P.G

Warnings: A bit of mature content, nothing too explicit (IT'S SAFE FOR EVERYONE TO READ)

Summary: Your boyfriend catches you reading fan fictions of him and teases you about it

It had all started as a joke. You knew your boyfriend's fangirls wrote some fictions about him (You knew because you also read in your 1D times, Niall Horan's and Louis Tomlinson's fanfic, you could imagine). One day, you were chilling around watching IG when you stumbled with a reel

It had said *POV: Imagine your boyfriend Gavi braging to his mates about you* and there was this video of him talking with Pedri, Balde and Ansu while the author of this edit, edited what they were saying with subtitles underneath.

You awed, it was cute.

Have you heard that saying curiosity killed the cat? Well, that was you at your best moment.

You went in your laptop and opened Google, by the tags on that video you decided to put in the browser *Pablo Gavi x Reader*. Tumblr inmediately appeared with a hundreds of blogs.

You created an account x and started reading.

You gotta admit, these girls had their imagination on the highest level, inventing these amazing stories, backgrounds, edit along with everything else... And you couldn't even know how to start a simple essay

You laughed at some stories, you fell in love with the majority, you felt lust while reading others, hell you even cried with the heartbreaking ones, or what they liked to call Angst. You even found a PEDRI X READER X GAVI POLY

"These girls are crazy in the greatest way ever" You murmured shaking your head

Being on your world, you didn't noticed when your boyfriend came home from his training and was crunched down behind you

"What are you reading?" You heard his voice ask right next to your ear as you yelled out scared

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL-? PABLO!" You shut your laptop down as your hand went to your chest "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME AN ATTACK"

"You're reading fictions about me?" He asked with a smile as you looked at him dead in the eye

"...No" Your doubting tone made him laugh a little

"Why are you doing that?"

"OK, I WAS READING FANFICTIONS ABOUT YOU! IN MY DEFENSE... Your fans are really skilled and lots of them like our relationship" You nod

"Is that it?" He asked laughing

"Ok, an edit appeared in my IG feed so I saw it and curiosity got the best of me. I have spent the whole afternoon reading these things, they're fucking amazing and absolutely gorgeous. There are some other that are way to explicit but still they were sent by God because Gavs... They're incredible. And the angsty ones? OMG...! They are a blessing and- hijo de tu mamá, ¿Te estás burlando de mi?" (Son of your mother, are you laughing at me?)

"You know you've the real Gavi one and that you get to experience the fluff, a few fights and the sex, all of that in reality?"

"I do! But they're amazing" You opened your laptop and showed him another fic. This one was fluff and smutty

After some minutes reading it you were the first one to talk

"See?! It's so well written and the structure, their beggining, the middle and the end it's so precious... Some of these would do great as real writers; don't you think so, baby?"

You turned around facing Gavi who's expression was unreadable "Love?"

"You're right they're pretty amazing" He nods "On the other hand, way too explicit, it feels a little uncomfortable reading all those things about myself and at the same time boosts my ego up" You roll your eyes "Good side of this is that, I can try and do all these things they write, to you" You clenched your tights feeling hot all over your body

"Now?"

"Now" He said as you both jumped off of the couch into your shared bedroom. Laptop and fanfictions long forgotten

Yes, it may have been a bit embarrassing for you the fact your boyfriend saw you reading fanfiction of him, but it was definitely worth it.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Tag list: @gaviypedrisbride

[ca-suffit]

Hi. I love your blog. Good conversations are happening here and I love reading through them all. I have a question re: the depiction of Louis as a woman in what I don't believe to be AU scenarios. Forgive me if my vocab is a bit stilted, English isn't my first language.

I'm a cis, pan, black, female who came into the fandom a bit late. Due to my religious background I haven't been in a lot of queer spaces, online or irl. I've been interacting with the IWTV fandom here, on Twitter and AO3, which has been enlightening. There's a lot of Louis MTF characterization (?), and like the other anon said, most of it is very positive and fun. But, and this may be my ignorance speaking, there's a racial/colourist element in casting Louis as a woman that I think many overlook.

Within the show's universe, Louis took on the more feminine role, particularly in his relationship with Lestat. So when some Twitter user drew Louis as a darkskin man with a very blond Lestat straddling him a la Santiago and Eglee, many accurately argued that drawing him as a hypermasculine black man was very racist. But I haven't seen people mention that despite Louis taking the more feminine (read nurturing) role in Season 1, esp wrt to Claudia, he isn't feminine? Yes, some of his masculinity was a performance (aside from the way that most gender roles are a performance), but Louis is still a masculine man. His masculinity is softer in appearance than maybe most people's in his world, including Lestat's who had no problem dressing up as a woman, but it's still there. In a MTF fanfic I understand making Louis a woman, but in analyzing his characterization in a heteropatriarchal setting Louis is no less a man than Lestat.

My issue is Louis is a very lightskinned black man. Such men are typically not regarded as masculine in the black community, especially if they're homosexual. It's the other side of the coin of darkskin women being denied femininity. So while casting him as a woman in an AU is fine, I find serious analysis of the show that depicts him as a helpless maiden without agency in the face of stronger men and a misogynistic society very wanting. Because aside from being colourist, it also sort of absolves Louis of the harm he inflicts on the women he pimped out, Claudia, and yes, even his companions. It makes it seem like he was only given bad options and he had no choice but to pick the ones he could live with.

And this happens a lot. Anyone who loves Louis more than Lestat and Armand always sees him as a victim. Maybe this is in reaction to the Lestat-centred side of the fandom that always points out everything Louis does wrong. But since I'm not on that side of the fandom, most of the takes I see are in defense of Louis' victimhood as a weaker/feminine man/woman.

Idk if this makes sense at all. Don't post it if it doesn't. I hope it doesn't cause offense to anyone because it's not meant in that way at all. I think maybe there's something I'm missing about how the black/POC/Louis-loving side of the fandom views him, so if anyone who understands things better than I do can tell me what I'm not getting I'll be very grateful.

Thanks for all you do.

hi and thank u!<3

I think there's definitely a lot to talk about here. There's a lot I've observed of the fandom changing over time as the show has aired, bcuz none of this stuff was rly happening with the character of louis until the show aired. I don't have solid thoughts on this all yet, this has me thinking about a lot of things at once and I gotta organize it all. so otherwise I'd like to turn this over to the fandom as a whole to give feedback on for rn.

[jienem]

Heyyy Im glad I had come across your blog back then and so far I've been loving all your stories and uhhh if by any chance can I request something? Can you make a Malleus x Reader? Wait let me get into detail about this request

Could you do A fic on whereas Malleus and Yuu as like Gabriel and Emilie Agreste from Miraculous ladybug? (Sorry if this is weird) Like Yuu went on a coma due to attempt assassination after she gave birth to their child because the nobles refuse to accept that the heir is half human and after that Malleus drastically change to the point he wasn't that much present to their child's life, leaving the said child to be in Lilia , Silver and Sebek's care while he (Malleus) busied himself to find the cure to wake Yuu up from her slumber.

Pls if you ever decided to do this make it a happy ending! Where Yuu wakes up and their family is whole again🤗❣️

Omg thank you for requesting, it was actually amusing when malleus would be playing as gabriel though. So about your request, I would like to change some of the detail like Malleus child. Plus I want Malleus not technically out from his child's life and soo I hope this request makes you smile! Brace yourself for the long fanfic.

The king roared in anger. The stone walls of the castle rumbled under his hold. The air grew colder as the nobles continued their plea to their king. On the throne, Malleus sat with his slitted eyes glowing coldly. He gripped his staff with strength, and his aura was growing more intense.

Silence befell the nobles before one of them could no longer handle it and begged for forgiveness.

"Please forgive me, my King!" 

The others followed suit, but the king wordlessly stared down below his feet. Lilia watches the scene unfold before offering an alternative punishment, which the king refuses.

Malleus stood up from his throne, his heels clanging into the pavement as he made his way towards the frightened nobles. Malleus lifted his staff, whispering the spells under his breath. He pointed in their direction, the tip of the staff slowly beginning to light up. Amidst his fury, warm memories soon drifted into his mind. Yuu's smile and laughter filled his ears. Malleus lowered his hold, and his eyes softened.

The nobles slowly rejoiced in their king's benevolence; they lifted their heads towards their king only to see him lift his staff once again devoid of emotions.

"If you think I will let you all be, all of you are mistaken. You have taken my Queen's grasp from my hand. In my honor, I shall bestow you a gift for the rest of your life." Malleus staff started to glow. "Fret not; your heirs will not inherit the gift I have bestowed upon you."

The nobles grasped their chests in pain the moment the king's magic struck them at once. The castle walls were filled with screams as they whimpered in pain. The king merely stared at them, unfazed, before leaving them behind. His footsteps clang on the ground as he moves hastily. Lilia, who stayed behind, dismissed them on his behalf.

The grieving king stood by his beloved's side. The moonlight illuminating the figure laying on a casket, Yuu's skin was still fresh, and her chest slowly rose and fell as if she were just asleep. Malleus watches Yuu with a forlorn smile. He held her hand, caressing it until he held it between his lips. He closed his eyes as wet tears gently fell on his face.

"My beloved Yuu, what shall I do in order for you to wake up by my side?" he softly whispers.

The room was silent for a while. Malleus gaze never left her side, even if the door creaked behind him. A small light shone behind the door as another figure entered the scene. Malleus paid no attention to the third party as they silently made their way behind him. They patted his shoulder, comforting him, and instantly Malleus knew who was behind.

Lilia's face held a sympathy expression as he continued to pat Malleus shoulder, and silence continued once more. Malleus dropped Yuu's hand back into her chest, still gazing at her. His voice called for Lilia.

"Lilia, may I request that you take care of my child until his mother recovers?"

"Pardon?" Lilia was baffled, not by the latter but by the king's last words."

"My child needs their mother; without her, we have nothing." Malleus continued. Lilia shook his head as he moved to his side.

"No your child needs you as much as his mother. Malleus, Yuu would want you to spend time with your child, with or without her." he reasoned, but Malleus paid no heed to his words. He finally lifted his head towards Lilia who took notice that the king's eyes no longer held a light between them.

"Not today Lilia, please leave us."

Lilia fell silent. He bowed to both his majesties, floating towards the door until he glanced behind him.

"My king, if you need us, you know where to find us."

He assures the king but his sole focus remains on the sleeping figure while the sky grows dim.

~~~

Lilia held the baby in his arms, marveling at how delicate the baby was. He reminisced about the old times when the two of his children were as young as the little one. He coed as they cried before he heard a knock from the door announcing an arrival.

Silver opened the door, followed by Sebek as they went inside. Silver and Sebek's stares were enough to pinpoint what they wanted to know. Lilia smiled sadly, watching as their expression changed similarly to his own.

"It seems we will be the ones raising this child for a while." They all knew his words were half the truth. Silver turned his gaze toward the child, holding their hands like they were made of glass.

"Father, I would like to help you." He declared. Lilia smiled, grateful for his son before the two looked at Sebek with anticipation in their eyes. Sebek frowned at their attention, also turning his head to the baby while his eyes softened as they slept.

"To their majesties child and a fellow half-human." 

They chuckled at his words before Lilia lifted the baby up in the air. "May you grow into a strong person just as your mother wants it."

~~~

Years have gone by, and the baby has grown into a boy. They all took turns raising him. Raising him both in fae and human culture and simply giving his childhood to one considered normal They of course let him know who his parents were, and Lilia had to excuse his father's disappearance in his early childhood. The boy took this lightly and simply assumed his father was merely busy because he had to manage the whole kingdom.

On an evening day, while playing with Lilia. The boy stumbled upon a cloaked, horned figure staring at a statue in the garden. The boy curious as to who's statue he was looking at, peak his head in that direction, and a smile graced his face. His eyes knew no fear as his short legs carried him towards the figure. He tugged on his cloak, earning the unknown man's attention from above. The man lowered his head as he stared at the boy's big doe-eyes.

The boy noticed the similar horns on the stranger's head. He greeted him with glee and asked for his name. The man simply said to call him whatever he wished. The boy narrowed his nose in focus, huffing his cheeks. The man's eyes widened for a fraction before he continued to gaze at him. He was reminded of someone he really knew.

The boy's eyes lightened, and he gleefully exclaimed, "Father! You remind me of my father, Grandpa Lilia mentioned!"

The man lowered his upper body, and the air shifted to a colder temperature. The boy's expression stayed unawavering, while The man who now noticed the small horns resting on his head, froze at the sight.

The boy was about to question him when another figure joined them. Lilia stood there with wide eyes as he recognized Malleus form. He urges the boy into Silver and Sebek's care while he stays behind.

He turned to Malleus, who watched the young boy disappear with familiarity.

"How does it feel to see your child grow into a boy?"

"I pity him. His mother wasn't by his side."

Lilia couldn't help but scrutinize Malleus words. "May I remind you that you needed to be in your son's life? Yuu wouldn't want to see you still grieving and leaving your child in the process."

"I did not leave him! He needed his mother in his life. Please, watch him. I will cure his mother as soon as possible."

Lilia knew Malleus wouldn't visit his son for a very long time. But he knew that if he didn't do anything, the father-son relationship would strain.

"Malleus, I know you are busy, but please try visiting your son every once in a while." He gave the advice one last time before following the trio to the garden, leaving Malleus behind.

"Our son, Adrius..."

~~~

Malleus gaze rested on the sunrise outside his castle. His eyes held a strange emotion as Lilia reported to his king. He noticed how distant he was and asked his king.

"My king if you don't mind, what troubles you?" 

Malleus broke out of his revery and turned his head towards Lilia. He studied Lilia for quite some time before sighing. "Nothing too concerning."

"It is concerning if you look so thoughtful, Malleus." Lilia smiled and shook his head. "Was it about your son?"

"I suppose I was." Malleus admitted.

Lilia almost falls forward in surprise. He collected himself and coughed fakely. He peered into Malleus eye before bowing. "Your majesty, if I may, may I ask you to join your son's dinner this afternoon?"

Malleus for one, looks more thoughtful for the suggestion than earlier. He slowly tilted his head, and that was enough for Lilia.

"I will." He replied. Lilia bowed once more and turned his back to Malleus with a grin on his face.

Lilia barged into the young boy's room, surprising the boy as he fell back from the floor holding a book in hand.

"Gr-grandpa?!"

"Adrius! Get ready, dear! Your father will be joining you for dinner!" Lilia lifted the boy and grasped his hands, jumping up and down. Adrius eyes widened, and his face lifted in joy. He joined Lilia's enthusiasm, squealing. Silver and Sebek burst into the room with swords in hand.

"What's wrong?!" Silver yelled before silence befell the two. They watched his father and Adrius jumping in excitement before turning their heads in their direction.

"Malleus would be joining Adrius for dinner! Silver! Sebek! Please prepare the casket; I'm dying in happiness!"

"C-Calm down father, you are not dying yet."

~~~

"Tell me how are you?" Malleus asked his son after they sat down and ate. It was silent, neither of them knew what to say until Malleus went first.

"Oh um, I'm doing great, grandpa Lilia, uncle Silver, and Sebek teach me how to use a sword, and I'm learning the piano!" Adrius gleefully exclaimed. Malleus let out a small smile and nodded. "You did well."

~~~

Footsteps clanged on the ground as they made their way towards the throne room. A boy of fifteen years of age bowed on the ground as they greeted the king.

"Your majesty, I have come bearing good news." 

Malleus smiled and stood up from his throne. He made his way toward his son and patted his shoulder. The boy lifted his gaze and stood up with gratitude in his eyes.

"No need to be formal, Adrius. Let's hear it on the way towards the garden, shall we?" 

Adrius nodded his head, and the pair left behind the throne.

~~~

"Huff* Huff* We should take a few minutes break." Silver command.

Adrius waited before the others left; Silver noticed him and motioned for him to come. Adrius went to his side with questions in his eyes.

"What was mother like to father?" 

Silver turned to face him, watching how Adrius eyes seemed a little distant. "Just like we have mentioned before, she was brave and hardworking-"

Silver paused, realizing he was mentioning her characteristics, before continuing, "She was his everything. She was the one who approached Malleus when no one would."

"Malleus loved her dearly from the moment they met. Yuu was his Queen. The lady was a kind person and a trickster like you." Lilia piped in and ruffled Adrius hair.

"He was lost without her." Lilia pinches his cheek as Silver stands by from the side, nodding in agreement.

"But now he has you."

~~~

"Your mother lay in this casket for years. She collapsed on the day you were born." Malleus softly said. His son, Adrius, furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and hurt.

"So, she got into a coma because of me?" He questioned. Malleus shook his head as he patted his shoulder.

"No, she collapsed because of an attempted assassination. She gave birth to you earlier that day. Her body hadn't had a chance to rest when the nobles planned their assassination. And they almost succeeded.""

Malleus voice began to whisper, "I failed. I was not on her side when they slipped inside and attacked the Queen. I have failed us." His hand fell to his side, and he turned away from his son. He moved towards where his beloved was.

"She would be so proud of you. She would still be here, watching you grow up, but she didn't because of my mistake." 

Adrius moved towards his side and held his hand. Mallus turned to his son, who held a smile despite everything he had said. "She wouldn't blame you, she loves you, and I too." 

"I don't blame you, father." 

Malleus eyes softened. His son didn't notice a teardrop rolling down on his father's cheek as he smiled at his mother with sincerity in his eyes. Adrius was content. Malleus watched his son with a soft smile.

"Thank you, my son."

~~~

Malleus held his beloved's hands once more. He told his beloved about their son, who was sixteen years of age. He recounts the day they spent together, proud of his son who was growing into a handsome boy. After a while, Malleus sadly has to leave for his duties.

"I would come back my Love." He promised. Holding her hand one last time with magic swirling around them.

Malleus closed the door behind him and left. Unbeknownst to them, Adrius also visits his mother each day. Miraculously, the two of them hadn't passed each other. Adrius sat on a chair beside the casket with happiness in his face.

"Mother, I have never been happier to spend time with father. He was attentive for more than a year in my life." He paused. "Though he still had a faint sadness in his eyes, He was starting to change for the better." He holds her hand, his palm starting to glow.

"We miss you."

~~~

"Tsunotaro? Lilia? Silver? Sebek?" A voice called out from the shadows, their white gown slowly emerging. The five of them turned towards the voice with alarm in their eyes. Adrius squints his eyes before his expression changes. Malleus fled down from the throne and made his way towards the figure. The figure gasped in surprise as Malleus held them in his arms. Lilia and Silver smiled while Sebek sobbed for his majesties. Adrius slowly walked towards his parents and joined their hug. Yuu's eyes turned to Adrius, and her hand caressed his hair. Her eyes glistened, and tears started to fall from her face. Malleus held them both as he quietly cried.

"Welcome back my love."

~~~

"You did what?!" Yuu's scream echoed around the garden as Malleus lowered his head, ashamed.

"It is what you have heard, my Love." Malleus admitted.

Yuu couldn't help but slap him across the face. The four bystanders gasped in shock. They silently walk away from the couple, leaving them behind.

"Malleus, how could you? You left our child! Do you know how hard it was to be alone without the love of your parents?!" 

"Lilia, Silver, and Sebek help him grow love-"

"Yes they did because you left our child in their care without you by his side! a living parent!"

The four sat down outside the cabin and enjoyed the quietness until Adrius turned to look at Sebek with worry in his eyes. "How long do we have to wait for them?"

Sebek gave a knowing look in his eyes and nodded at something. "Soon, and we should leave them be."

"Very much so, we don't want an angry dragon coming into our way." They had an amused look in their eyes while Adrius dreaded what was coming next.

So if all of you are confused, I don't want Malleus to be cold towards his son, he maybe distant but that doesn't mean he care. Movie Gabriel agreste did better than series Gabriel. @worldussysblog Thank you for making a request and I hope you are safe from where you are~

Taglist

@worldussysblog @luciel1 @fluffle-bean @growingupnrealizing @hazukiix @daruderuyoo @lucid-stories

[just-another-t-word-blog]

Just Say the Word

Part two for Real Laugh

A Hazbin Hotel fanfic mini series

Hey y’all!! I’m back again with a part two for the fanfic a lot of people seemed to enjoy. If you’d like to read that one first and come back you can find it here: https://www.tumblr.com/just-another-t-word-blog/743297844565442560/real-laugh

Once again, these are heavily based off fanart done by @kalico-of-doom, please check out her stuff if you haven’t because it makes my heart happy 🥹

Summary: Angel has had his fun tormenting our dear deer friend, and now it's Alastors turn.

Could be seen as RadioDust but could be platonic as well. I’m sorry this one’s shorter!! I haven’t had many spoons left for writing lately!

Once again, warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️ this is a tickle fic so if you don't like don't read. Thank you.

Angels heart lept into his throat as he felt phantom tendrils throw him backwards, wrapping around his shoulders and hips as they pinned him to the floor. He barely heard what Alastor said as he struggled, lifting his head to look at his captor.

He threw on a confident smile, trying to subtly pull at his restraints. His fingers slipped right off the black surface of the tendrils, giving him nothing to grip. "Nice work, giggles." He taunted, trying to appear unfazed. "You surprised me, I'll give you that." Alastors sinister grin deepened as he approached Angel, creeping slowly on silent footsteps. "You can't talk your way out of this, my friend." Radio static laced his voice. "I can't simply let you go after you attacked me so brazenly." Angels smile faultered, swallowing anticipatory titters.

"Fine by me, but you'll be disappointed." He tried. "I'm not ticklish.” He attempted an apologetic grin, something hard to maintain when someone is watching you like prey. Alastor tilted his head, raising an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” Angel said. “When your work involves having peoples hands all over you day in and day out you get desensitized. Sorry friend, you’re out of luck.” Alastor continued his approach, moving to kneel beside Angel. He snapped his fingers, additional appendages lurching from the floor to wrap around Angels wrists and pin them out and away from his torso. “So you wouldn’t mind if I tested your claim, then?” Alastor sat fully beside him, hovering clawed fingers over his stomach.

Angel felt his anxiety wane, realizing Alastor wouldn’t touch him without permission. The radio demon watched his eyes intently, looking for any indication he sincerely did not want this.

He met his friends eyes, trusting him. “Knock yourself out.”

Alastor straddled his waist, beginning to gently trace his nails over his stomach and sides. Angels breath hitched, biting his lip and trying to ignore the sensations. He squirmed, struggling to hold back.

He hissed out a chuckle. "See? Not ticklish." Alastor scoffed, giving him a rougher bout of scratches. Angel gasped. "For an actor, you're not a very good liar." His friend teased.

Angel clamped his mouth shut, holding his breath, a traitorous smile pulling at his features. He whimpered, trying to wrench away from the claws. “Anything you want to say, spider? You seemed awful talkative just a second ago.” The radio demons grin cut deep, sending the butterflies in his stomach into a frenzy. “I’m sure you would feel a lot better if you just let go.” He moved his hands so they were tucked between the gaps of his upper and lower sets of arms. “Laughing is the whole point, you know.”

He squeezed gently, rapidly moving up and down. Angel squealed, wild cackling bursting from him. He threw his head back, arching his spine, legs kicking out behind Alastor. “There we go,” Alastor said, eyes softening. “If it gets too much, the safeword is “jambalaya”.” Angel shook his head, silly giggles pouring from his lips. “Whahat? No! I fuhucking hate you!” Alastor flattened his ears, moving to put some gentle pokes into Angels tummy.

“Fine then, what do you think it should be?” He didn’t let up so he could answer, vibrating his thumbs into the arachnids hip bones. He shrieked, pounding his heels into the floor. “Just stohop!” He cried, looking up at his attacker with teary eyes. “Just stop? As in the safeword should just be stop or you want me to stop?” Angel shook his head again.

Then, Alastor stopped. Angel panted, a smile still gracing his features. He met Alastors gaze, questioning. “If you want me to continue I need consent.” He explained, adjusting his monacale. Angel blushed deeply, swallowing. He looked away and nodded, bracing for the sensation to come again. Alastor chuckled. “Now, we both know that won’t do.” He gently tucked his thumb under Angels chin, coaxing him to look. “I need a verbal yes. And a safeword.”

Angel furrowed his brow, giving the best pout he could under the circumstances. He saw he wouldn’t be getting his way without complying. He breathed, letting out a soothing sigh. “The word can be “red”. And, yes. Please…..continue…if you want to.” Alastor leaned back, crossing his arms. “No, not if I want to. I need a real confirmation.”

Angel growled in frustration. “Okay, okay! You want a real fucking confirmation? Here is is! This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time that didn’t involve lube and a fuck ton of perverts paying a ton of money to watch. I’m enjoying this, alright? And I want you to keep going.” He huffed thumping his head back against the carpet. He heard staticky laughter above him. “Well, I could have done without the swearing and the yelling, but I suppose that’s good enough.”

He began gently again, skittering claws across his captives ribs. Angel didn’t fight it this time, letting himself relax into it, happy titters flowing freely. “This can go on as long as you like. Just say the word.”

He closed his eyes, melting under the gentle touch. It was unbearable, but he was safe and he was cared for. That’s all he’s ever wanted.

——————————————

Charlie wiped a tear from her eye as she peered around the corner, still watching her friends play. Vaggie and Husk stood nearby, the angel with a fond hand on her partners shoulder and the bartender with a smug grin.

“How long have they been at it?” Vaggie asked, bewildered at the scene. “At least an hour.” Charlie sniffed, moving away. She walked towards the bar, uncaring if she was seen by the duo or not. “I’m just happy to see them happy.” She said, taking a seat.

They continued to tease, continued to laugh, like the world had faded out around them. The hotels occupants watched with full hearts. Maybe it wasn’t so bad here in hell, so long as you had someone to share it with.

[nalyra-dreaming]

There is a reason why black fans/poc fans moan about Lestat or DM and it has a lot to do with the fandom. There was this whole blowout over the idea that Louis is the Gothic heorine in this story. That he was the mother to Claudia. It is one thing to debate, it is another to deliberately write revenge fan fiction where Lestat gets pregnant or plays out a kink of being pregnant. So why wouldn't fans be wary of inclusion of Lestat (or DM) in considerable amount in this season, that they were looking forward to. I don't remember the last time I saw a passionate black/brown romance play out on screen on main television and yeah Vampire Chronicles or not, the whole of the series or not, one major excitement for fans has been the Loumand romance. Black or Brown bodies have rarely been portrayed as desireable without the inclusion of a white character. And we are building towards such intense, passionate, romance between loumand- so it is understandable that with the fandom history, the fans would be wary/disappointed about lestat or DM.

Okay, so, I get you. You are on my blog so you likely know that I get you.

I get why.

However, this show (and I am repeating myself here) is cast color-consciously. NOT color-blind.

And that is the world of difference here.

Louis could be re-imagined (and brilliantly so) because the show shifted the time, while also keeping his history, and character intact.

Armand could be re-imagined (and also quite brilliantly so from the little we have seen^^) because the area he is from was contested at the time - it's possible to apply "more" to him without changing the character.

This is the Vampire Chronicles.

There is history between these characters. There are also "endgame" relationships (as Jacob called it).

The show has always said Loustat were the basis they're building on, Rolin Jones said at the SDCC 22 panel (before the show aired) that we shouldn't fear for Devil's Minion.

Yes, Loumand will be passionate at first. I hope they fuck nasty. I mean it when I say I want to see all the facets, how it changes over time. Because of what happens. There is love between them in the end, despite everything.

But saying the show is shoehorning Lestat or Daniel in the VC for "white" fans is ludicrous. Can I redirect you to @cbrownjc's reply here for that?

Lestat is one of the main characters of the VC. Daniel is Armand's big love. His only fledgling.

I get why it's disappointing that the main couple won't be Loumand. I get that.

But it never was supposed to be that.

They love each other. Fall for each other. In Paris. Truly love each other. Later. In Dubai. That is indisputable. But there is a reason why Rolin Jones was explaining the ending with "The Graduate". BACK THEN. (Here is a good post on that.)

After what certain people threw at me again, and again, and again for pointing out canon facts and discrepancies in the tale I won't sugarcoat my responses anymore, and I find the whining about what we said was to come for fucking 18 months indeed quite hilarious. Tbh, it's the only thing left I can find it. The only emotion left I have for that. This doesn't go specifically against any fans btw(!) (and definitely not against you), there were plenty of people who I know are not black who jumped the bandwagon just to make sure to be on the "right side, just in case", while knowing better. While knowing what would happen in the upcoming seasons.

While having experienced similar shit.

And re the debates, and revenge fanfics, or whatever: You don't need to point out the ugliness of fandom to me.

I have plenty of experience with that.

Since you're here you should know that.