#while i dont think it was a bad choice that his motivations lie more with his people than his immediate family in this versiob

[skipar00]

Tokyo Mew Mew New thoughts (and spoilers for New and the original) in the tags from someone who was extremely unwell about the aliens at 14 years old

[theslyvoid9]

YOU DIDNT REBLOG IT BUT FUCK YOU !!!!!!!!!

3, 4, 18, 29, 31

FOR KEIHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUGH WHAT THE HELL THATS ILLEGAL!!! BUT FINE I WILL TALK ABOUT KEIHO FUCK YOU!!!! heres the question list for anyone curious

for those wondering Keiho is my FFXIV Au Ra character who i love dearly :3

(hes usually more happy i just like this doodle jskdnf)

putting the actual response under read more because man it got long ^_^

also in the game i just finished stormblood so this guys story is still ongoing for me dkjfng (theres 3 more expansion packs, as of right now, for me to do)

okay hi to anyone reading this o/

3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?Keihos current weapon of choice is a lance! Being a lancer/dragoon class so big pointy stick sdjkdnsf.

The lore reason for Keiho going that route when becoming an adventurer i feel is mainly.. he was most used to holding lance like weapons and tools and felt it was the most comfortable way for him to get his journey started.

While the main stuff for his backstory before the beginning of the game is still kinda cooking for me, i do think he came from a smaller village kinda away from everything so they didn't have a lot of fancy resources to go around for a ton of swords or anything so the main weapons for hunting were lances. But he most likely did some spear fishing and stuff with it as well and is used to farm tools like pitchforks and hoes and stuff so again more used to lance like tools than anything else! But maybe he'll change that in the future and try different weapons now that he's got the adventure ball going!

(the none lore reason is i just liked the lance class the most and i havent bothered to try out any other class right now)

4. how crafty/resourceful are they?

i'd say they get by well enough! He's not some mastermind who's going to outsmart and trap supervillains left and right....and he definitely has his dumb moments. But he has his cleaver moments as well, def can sneak by, deceive and ambush pretty well against other regular, non super genius, folk. And can contribute in plannings if needed for battles and such.

But i do feel his resourcefulness comes out best in survival situations, he knows how to navigate the wilderness pretty well, knows how to hunt and make the most of food to make it last as long as possible and overall just knows how to get out and not die when dropped in the middle of the woods. Or build a sort of camp/housing if for whatever reason he wants to stay out there longer.

So not really some trap guy and not going to pull some crazy stunts during fights but can survive solo out in the wilderness pretty okay.

With this he is pretty lost in big cities on the other hand sjhbdnfds (me making a lore reason to explain why im always lost in limsa lominsa B) )

18. their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

HMMMM now this is a rather nuanced answer considering... he is the warrior of light...Hero of Eorzea etc etc... so he has his actual beliefs, the thing he preaches as a warrior people look up to and the things he believes as a warrior whos seen some of the worst the world has to offer.

Overall he fights for a world where people dont have a need to lie, steal or kill and if pressured for a black and white answer he'd say those things are bad. BUT he gets why certain people dont have any other option besides lying or stealing or even killing and doing any of those things for a valid reason isn't going to lower Keihos opinion of someone even by a bit. No "there must've been another way" or "you should've toughed it out" nope he gets that sometimes... you just gotta do what you gotta do. If anything it just makes Keiho more motivated to be a good hero seeing what someone was pushed to do just to get by. So overall he looks at each case rather individually... after all he as a hero has done all of those things for the greater good so it be rather hypocritical of him sdjkfndjsk

He also gets that while some people have a valid reason...it isn't always a good reason to do sth like killing so again... just focuses on getting as much info and then makes a choice.

If anyone tries to ask what his opinion on white lies are he just completely avoids the topic saying sth like "arent there more pressing matters" he just really doesn't have the time to form opinions on whether white lies make someone inherently evil or good skjndf

29. are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

Hmm personally i haven't really put a lot of thought into what element Keiho could be sdjknf BUT in game he does have the title of "Warrior of light" so i guess i tend to associate him with light, and Keiho being a Raen Au Ra (that just meaning he has light scales instead of dark scales like the Xaela Au Ra) who believe they are descendants of Dawn Father just makes the light connection more strong huh xD

And i guess i do tend to link him with crystals due to his scales reminding me of that and him having several interactions and a blessing from the Mothercrystal goddess

so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ personally haven't thought about it but theres some building blocks there from the game

31. do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

Oh you chose this one specifically after that loredump i did on you huh

Okay lets take these one by one, receiving gift

Maybe back before their adventure days he would've like the occasional gift, never really liked anything to extravagant because ough you didn't need to, but small stuff like food or something handmade or some random material he needed, perfect. But after he became a hero and with every title he just.... stopped enjoying it, at some points just despises gifts all together, but not in the " i receive them so much" or the "i'm too good for these gifts" but more in the "hey i dont need nor deserve this :(( keep it to yourself you need it more :( " way. Along the way tho he also develops a weird "if i say no to a gift i'm being incredibly rude" mentality so that's when he gets super weird with gifts and wants to say "no, they dont need to go through all the effort for a gift for lil ol' me" but also the voice in the back being like if you refuse you're being rude!! so he just... puts on his hero persona and accepts it with grace.. so no one even really knows what kind of turmoil a simple loaf of bread just caused him dhsgfjukd and its quite literally nearly impossible to pry an answer out of him if you ever asked what he'd like for a gift, because the idea of requesting anything?!?!?! is just too much and he avoids the topic like the plague. quite literally need to corner him for a WHILE to get any sort of vague answer

my boy is stable :)

Giving gifts

He most likely won't have any sort of weird relationship with giving gifts but i honestly dont think he gifts a lot, he's more of a i'll walk to the ends of the earth for you kinda guy to his loved ones. But the most something like a gift i feel is he'll make food occasionally without being asked or he might pick up something from stores or similar places if someone mentioned it. If he was still just a civilian he'd make some crafts here and there as well (woodwork, jewellery etc etc). But with being a hero he most likely doesn't have a lot of time or energy for those sorts of things, and most likely mentally he isn't really in a stable place rn to be doing anything like that either way, but in the future when his mentality regarding being a hero improves he'll def be making some handcrafted stuff for his friends!

Ideal gift

This is a tough one considering all the above about him not even really wanting gifts sjkdlnmfk but

Before the adventure days, it probably would've been something really simple, like some tasty food or some rare material for personal projects or even just something handcrafted! something to show the other cared enough to really think what he'd like kinda thing

And that mentality does stay a bit for post adventurer keiho! He'd avoid the topic but honestly... getting anything non adventure related, just for keiho to have after all the adventure gear has been put away for the day like again some good food or a nice shirt or just...anything again to show that they care about keiho the guy and not keiho the adventurer who probably needs new chainmail under his armour. He gets something from the heart and he is going to cry guranteed

Anddd with that i have finally finished responding to this jksbdnfjhks

if anyone made it this far congrats! you get a bonus keiho

[limpfisted]

while wyll is a very well intentioned person part of the game is about subverting tropes, and to ME hes MY special princess. he is by no stretch of the imagination “perfect” n hes not SUPPOSED to be perfect, n he has glaring flaws present in the text in subtext that make him very interesting narratively

while wyll trying to fight monsters and devils to save people is objectively good

in dnd, monsters, devils, goblins, even animals in the context of this game. theyre still literally people. theyre capable of language and complex thoughts and motivations

while im not about to be like (fire emblem vc) DIMITRI. KILLS. WOMEN. wyll’s quest to be a generic lawful good human warrior male is not as black and white as he wants it to be

and he can be a hypocrite and a liar

and he can be dumb and needlessly vicious. he stands in the middle of the room with priestess guts and to her face goes “tav lets just kill her. lets kill everyone here lets blow this nasty wench to smithereens” and u have to go priestess guts i am so sorry my friend would fucking say that to you. while we are. trying. to be SNEAKY, WYLLIAM!!

he DOES try to kill karlach. he probs killed other innocent prisoners of zariel. he thought it was the right thing to do, its reasonable. but he still did it. n he never faces tbe consequences or even the guilt.in fact he only faces consequences n guilt when he does the RIGHT thing

wyll IS a very kind and tolerant person to a point but its interesting to see like. who deserves second chances to wyll. and why

like obviously being a generic goblin killer doesnt make u a bad person or anything. its good to kill momsters that are hurting ppl. but hes eventually going to hv to look back on the things hes done for mizora and the devils hes killed, and go “hm.” bc even tho he HAD to do it. he also justified it. and that makes it worse

its honestly kind of interesting he doesnt hv anything to say abt freeing 7000 hungry vampire spawn. n when ascended astarion mentions them, wyll asks how many ppl astarion has killed. “dozens, hundreds?” bro it was 7007 ppl, u know the exact number. he cant even wrap his head around it

like everything else in his life—i dont think he really knows how to weigh the burden of that decision bc he can really never let himself feel the full severity of anything without going “ok moving on” or “let my next action prove my worth.” (ie when he tells karlach hes been a beast but he still wants to prove himself, when u tell him hes a monster, he will still prove himself to the sword coast n be tbeir protector.)

its a very rich thing, hes going on his own little narrative journey here where hes realizing what kind of man and hero he wants to be, same as all the rest of them

n a part of that is coming to terms with things like balduran being a lie, n baldurs gate being so much less than he remembers

something i really enjoy abt the game as someone who considers themself an existentialist is. the burden of freedom. we are condemned to be free. despite the facticities and realities of the world n other ppls reactions to our decisions—we alone make our choices n deal with those consequences

wyll is always, always making the best of a bad situation, hes always doing the best he can, hes always doing what he thinks is right, he always tries to be kind and good and gentle to the people “who deserve it.”

but hes only human, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions

when it comes to morals and “goodness”—sometimes being guided by fairy tales and legends is…. lazy moralizing, that will lead to more pain for everyone, wyll included

wyll DID do good things for the people of the sword coast. and that matters. but u know what. everybodys got something to atone for, pobodys nerfect

again this is not a wyll hate post this is actually a WYLL IS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER AND INTERESTING CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS post lol. hes really not as goody goody as people think. he loves murder and blood tbh, just u know, the murder and blood of evil doers

[stardustfanfare]

OK i went to sleep after this but now im in the nurses office resting so here we go

es: eye. i mean. duh. although they dont rly have the thirst for knowledge as much like . you know. theyve got a panopticon for lords sake eye is right there. THEY REPRESENT THE AUDIENCE! i like logically cant say anything else even if the vibes arent perfect.

haruka: dark for sure. a childish fear but one that can be all consuming. a reminder. a place to live. its the lack of light the lack of... something. negligence. being alone. its a primal fear.

yuno: ok shes tricky. theres nothing that really leads me to this conclusion but she seems like maybe web? its mostly just the vibes. she doesnt really fit anywhere else, i cant even really see her as a victim. the fact that she's kind of shut off and cold but seems to have a larger motive as her driving force also connect to this as well i think.

fuuta: hunt or desolation. if we're being really accurate hunt works better, considering his hero complex means hes not out to cause pain. i just like desolation cus its more fun. reason a) being the fire theme and reason b) being that kotoko is literally so hunt aligned its not even funny and having more of a variety is more interesting to me.

muu: ok this is based off of how i perceive muu as like a blorbo to me. MAYBE she wouldnt be a corruption girlie but like come ON. shes covered in slime for half her mv. shes a bug girl shes a rot girl shes a decay girl. not projecting at all/s ahshdhd corruption is my favv <33 gross and offputting girls stay winning. if im actually gonna get into it though i do have more reasoning. her crime was based on feeling unloved and alienated. shes not like haruka in the way that she doesnt want to regain their affection necessarily but she still wants love. she turns to the rot and insects that fill her and eat at her and love her, i think.

oh that was a lot. moving on.

shidou: the end. of course hes the end. he hasnt caused just one death but many, he is literally like a harbinger of death come on guys. he sees himself as someone who just brings about death. HE WANTS TO DIE. it fits so well. everything comes to an end. idk doctors and end just feel so fitting. he has an influence over death, he saves people he kills people. you know.

mahiru: so i speculated on this one for a while but ive arrived at buried. with the corruptions whole love and obsession thing that seems like the obvious choice but it just doesnt feel right. i think shes buried for the following reasons. her mv has her and her partner shown in a literal cage as a metaphor for how they feel trapped in the toxic relationship. she also has a very narrow viewpoint, i think, its all about love; shes trapped in the dark enclosure of her own mind. she cant see the bigger picture.

kazui: dude im sorry i dont think about him a lot i dont really have a good answer for this one. if i had to say, hed be a victim rather than an avatar. of the lonely. he and the woman in his mv seem to be growing distant, pushing apart, and assumedly she ends up killing herself, or something of the sort. he has an outward persona of being the adult, the separated one; hes there for the group but doesnt allow himself to get close to them.

amane: victim again. of the spiral i think. i mean its a cult. she is told lies over and over, shes not allowed to see the truth for herself, shes spoonfed information and just has a twisted viewpoint of herself and the outside world. im sure the guilty verdict has even further confused her grasp on right and wrong, real and fake, truth and lie.

mikoto: oh my lord i have no coherent thoughts about this guy. i hate the direction they are taking this so much i dont want him to have DID i want him to be insane and put in a mental institution forever i want to throw him across the room like a wet rag. anyway if we ignore the complications of his situation and the bad quality of writing when it comes to him. id say slaughter. like senseless violence? sign me up i guess. at least that's what id like him to be like <3 stranger is also a candidate but that feels too iffy considering the DID thing. so ill go with slaughter (plus slaughter is just more fun. go crazy bitch!)

kotoko: i don't even need to explain this one. HER THING IS BEING A HUNTER. A WOLF. SHE IS A HUNT AVATAR FOR SURE. theres no questioning at all. she is hunt through and through. savior complex. morally grey. the thrill of the chase. its literally just right there.

:3 sorry i have too much stuff in my brain feel free to dispute with these i would love opinions

worried about my cat and avoiding sleep so who wants to hear my milgram tma entity assignments

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Hi! This is talking about the plot of the dream smp in a meta sense and its a bit negative. The person behind this blog wants to remind you that you can skip if it's not for you and they still love the SMP. :)

ALL DISCUSSION IS ABOUT CHARACTERS. DON'T ATTACK CCS OR I WILL STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS.

I can't lie; I'm really annoyed and worried at the way the writers are handling Tommys character at the moment, and am increasingly concerned about it messing up the plot.

I wasn't very happy with the finale. I don't think that means all is lost, I think they can pull it back but it's going to take some work. I was worried about the way that things were handled before but the green festival was actually very well handled, so my worries were mostly assuaged. But yesterday? I don't know.

The fact nobody lost a cannon death is kind of disappointing. The weight of blowing up an entire city/ (country?) brutally is somewhat lost if there is no human loss. Nobody was hurt physically and the only people this had a big mental impact on was Tommy and Tubbo, everyone else wasn't very attached to L'manburg or had gone rogue, or were detatched from the while situation. And maybe it's the fact it's happened to them before or that they still have each other or that it seems odd/ frustrating that they still care so much about this place or that it was always a losing battle and they knew it, but I dont find myself really pitying them like I probably should. And I think that comes down to character growth or lack thereof, which I'll discuss later.

Niki and Fundy have started a villain arc, or at least a violent nihilism arc, and I actually don't mind it, in fact I'm a fan but it wasnt really foreshadowed, or really just showing them cracking as much as it should have been. I would guess this has mostly been started for both of them to tie Niki into the plot and I can't blame her for wanting that. Fundys acting is very good, and I REALLY hope the writers handle this well. For Fundy, regarding the fact that his father is going to be resurrected and that Fundy is following in his footsteps... If the writers don't realise that connection and make this a big step in Fundys narrative I will scream. Also Funboo bros are very interesting character foils and I hope their relationship is maintained so that they can play of off each other and also man I just really want them to keep being friends, it's a generally positive healthy relationship that makes both characters sympathetic and we need that right now. As for Niki, her character motivations seem to be mostly centered around Tommy and on the one hand I'm like ehhhh, because Tommy's character already gets a disproportionate amount of attention in terms of narrative, and I get it, but recently he's been a bit TOO much of the protagonist for a multi-person POV improve server... and I'm apprehensive. However on the other hand this has potential for a nice confrontation between Tommy and Niki. If that happens I want Tommy to be aware that this is going to happen and not talk over Niki, and I don't want it to be brushed over. I think it would be best if it was just the two of them. This also gives a nice chance for Tommy to examine his trauma with Dream and explain his motivations and Niki to get her anger out. I also want it to end positively, because it absolutely can and lack of communication when the viewer knows how to fix it is OK as a plot device sometimes but incredibly frustrating if it keeps happening (cough, Tommy and Techno).

Ranboo is reacting to the plot amazingly and I have as usual only praise for him, go, you funky enderman boy, go.

Wilbur is getting resurrected which is a thousand percent because Will wants the plot back and honestly I don't really mind, I think he'll do a good job. However I really hope he speaks to everybody about their characters, particularly Fundy, Ranboo and Niki because I don't want their characterisation and arcs to be thrown away.

Tubbo is doing very well, and I don't have many complaints to be honest. I hope he continues to get in with the acting with no shame, because he's an amazing VA when he wants to be, but sometimes he undercuts serious moments a little too much by laughing. Same criticism for Phil actually. But both are doing good.

On the theme of that, while I don't mind tension relievers or humour in serious moments there are sometimes too many. It was a lot worse about a month back and it was improving, but it seems to be creeping back in and ehhh. It's kind of Marvel-esque and not in a good way? I think it has a lot to do with bloopers and for some reason there are loads at the moment? Like Wilburs arc had almost none and this arc there's at least 2 every moment. Which isn't always their fault but maybe they need to take more steps to prevent them.

Techno is doing OK, he's quite a meta character so I'm not too mad about him undercutting serious moments but sometimes he does do it too much or in the wrong place. Like making jokes about Connor completely over the top of Tommy and Tubbos reunion, you know an event which has been foreshadowed for yoinks, prevented them from getting a proper flow going and kind of ruined it. And that made the reunion really dissapointing, which is a shame because it could have been so cool. However his characterisation is consistent and dedicated, his goals and relationships are clear and he's getting humanised more which is nice, and his monologues are great. I'm curious to see what he does now NL'M is gone but I have total faith in him.

Now Tommy. Oh Tommy. His character is such a mess at the moment, which is a shame because there were moments I saw people doubting his character choices and I was behind him.

Firstly the relationship with Techno fell apart. That was inevitable. Tommy didn't care about anarchy and Techno didn't care about the discs and both of their goals would impede the others. But the way Tommy talks about Techno is so... No? And now I understand that Tommy is going to have a biased perspective on the whole situation, and that's fine and good, but his character is so wrong about Techno it feels weird and painful? Like even from his perspective it went down differently to how he talks about it. They don't listen to each other and it's like watching two people scream at a wall.

The issue is the relationship was fairly well developed. I struggle to see Tommy saying he saw Techno as a friend but Techno never saw him as a friend because hold on, what? Techno, here's a respiration helmet because of that one of thing you told me about your trauma, a disc because those make you happy, plus top tier armour and weaponry, plus I'm going to spend time with you, calm you down from panic attacks, hide you and protect you from Dream, let you wander around L'manburg and achieve your own goals and help you plan things out Techno and Tommy didn't get ANYTHING from that? Plus after Techno opens up about his goals and his trauma, do the one thing that would hurt him the most, (use and then betray him) and then directly oppose his goals after he helped me? Ugh. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know he would never let Tubbo get hurt and thats fine, but there were ways around that. If you're framing this character as the protagonist, then he needs to be sympathetic or at least grow and Tommy using Techno again without remorse and then refusing to listen to his perspective or show any gratitude for anything makes it difficult for viewers to empathise with him in my opinion. Have him betray Techno and then listen to Techno when he explains why Tommys betrayal hurt him and apologise, fine. Have him listen to Techno and try and find a way to keep Tubbo safe regardless, fine. Have him betray Techno but apologetically and still trying to avoid Techo getting crushed or killed, fine. But THIS? Im sympathetic towards Tommys character but this throws away so much potential character development for Tommy, where at least he saw Techno as a person, and not only that but a nice person who despite everything has set aside everything to help him? And then for him to be exactly where he was at the end of season 1, both literally, and emotionally ? I understand this is a child soldier with trauma but this is supposed to be our protagonist and if he doesn't grow, and isn't sympathetic and destroys someone we care about, how can we root for him?

Now all of this could be forgivable, not great, but forgivable, if Tommy had moved on from the discs. The Goddamn Discs™. And the worse part is all the dominoes were lined up to suggest he had! We had his moment of "he watched me" where he realised Dream was the villain and controlling him, "I've become worse than everyone I hated" good, amazing, I see where this is going, "The discs were worth more than you ever were!" and then he retracts and apologises and you think horray! Tommy has realised the discs were being used to control him and if he doesn't care about them, they hold no value! Now he's going to realise that his friends are more important and he's going to stop going after the discs. His new character motivation can be killing Dream and protecting his friends, especially Tubbo. It's clearly angled this way, and this way the plot progresses and Tommy with it. What marvellous character development. Look at him go.

And THEN, after everything that's happened he says the most important thing is the disc and I want them back!?!? EH !!? Why... Who... Who gave the OK on that writing decision? That's so static and boring and unsympathetic! And then he's back to asking people do fight for L'manburg? What?

I'll be honest I was kind go hoping either Tommy or Tubbo would die with L'manburg. I didn't mind it they didn't, there are a thousand ways to make the plot work without them dying, but this was not a great one.

PLEASE let Tommy have some growth. Yes he's had some from not caring about L'manburg to fighting for it in season one, but that was ages ago and he doesnt seem to have changed since then in any way that really counts. And I know this is harsh and he's traumatised but you have to understand I am talking about this in a sense of characters and narrative and NOT in terms of real life. Tommy needs to be better and dynamic because he is a charcacter and I want him to be a good one.

Having said all that, here are my thoughts on the future of the SMP.

Firstly, I am worried that becuse it is such a good source of content, especially for Tommy that they will never ever kill his character and leave him fighting with Dream for eternity. And I love the Dream SMP but I've seen stories that get dragged out for plot or content, and however much you think you want it to never end, let me tell you, yes you do. It will get stale and repetitive and I want the dream smp, or at least Tommys arc to go out with a beautiful and brilliant and fabulous plot ending instead of being dragged into the dirt. And then maybe new characters take the spotlight. Just please god give it a goode ending.

I also really hope they don't throw other things away to make Tommy the centre of attention, especially if it's destructive to the plot, or kind of weird and obnoxious.

Secondly, I am intrigued about the prison and Schlatts book to Dream and Technos favour and the egg and what that entails and I hope they really think through those plot points carefully and make them work, and don't forget them or throw them away.

Thirdly, I am intrigued for Wilburs return and hope that he manages to fix it cohesively without too crazy a change of pace and style and keeping characters (especially Ranboo and Fundy and Niki) consistent.

I hope they prep for the future and think things thought and communicate with each other.

It might be interesting to see other countries finally discussed but I don't know how much that would intefere with other plot points so we'll see.

That's all! Reminder that this is about characters and plot and this is just a few criticisms. I love the dream smp, but there are somethings I wanted to get of my chest. Please be respectful and feel free to discuss in the notes. Also, again, no hate to any CCs!

[justalitlecreacher]

I’m here to prove that Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man/peter parker in The Amazing Spider-Man is objectively the best love action adaptation of the character. In this essay I will....(yes this is really happening)

Edit: 10/20/20- i want to indulge myself in spiderman content but finding non mcu spiderman content is exhausting so imma update this instead

TL;DR

Andrew Garfield is my favorite of the 3 Spider-Man actors. TAS’s Peter is more fun and dynamic than the cookie cutter “shy introverted nerd that has a crush on a girl who’s way out of his league” Peter in Tobey Maguire’s movies. I enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of the character, but hate the way Disney has written the movies.  I enjoy the characters, plot, and humor of The Amazing Spider-Man far more than the other 2, and i deeply wish we had gotten the third movie with the canon BIder-Man of Andrew’s (and my) dreams.

[DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT SEEN THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 OR ANY MCU SPIDERMAN MOVIES OUTSIDE OF CLIPS AND REVIEWS ITS ALSO BEEN A VERY HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE SEEN A TOBEY MAGUIRE MOVIE]

Characterization

  Most arguments against Andrew Garfield’s Spidey( AG’s from now on) begin and ends with “he was a good Spider-Man but a bad Peter Parker”. This references an outdated post comparing all three Spidey actors.(Id attach the image here but i dont want the post to be too long(thats a lie this is so long what am i doing with my life)) The post also claims that Tobey played a good Peter and a poor Spidey; and that Tom is good at both “roles”.(Honestly I think it seems silly that this seems obey the “third time’s the charm” rule but thats just me).  Most people using this seem to be Tobey stans who have forgotten or ignored the rest of the post funnily enough, but the ones that go further into the WHY AG is a poor Peter are also incorrect. This argument also ignores the idea that there can be more than one version of Peter Parker which is blatantly incorrect.  Just look at Into the Spiderverse or the PS4 game; these provide 4(5 if you count the pig) versions of Peter themselves, and that doesnt even include the comics. 

 Arguments that go further in depth claim that the AS Peter is too cool or well liked by his peer to be a “true” Peter Parker. The evidence for this seems to be that Peter has a skateboard.(which what? didnt realize that having a skateboard would instantly make you cool brb guys). Adding to that i dont really see where people get the idea that Peter is popular or well liked. While looking for complaints i found this qutoe from reddit(theyve since deleted it looks like but i’ll add a link in the notes) “He's angsty, pretty socially awkward, has an aptitude for science, and is kind of an outsider. He gets bullied by Flash and he gets his ass kicked after trying to stand up to Flash. He isn't a "cool" person in any way (until the ending, in which he's best buds with Flash, so I'll give you that). While Maguire is more accurate to the 60s comics where Peter in high school is just a fucking loser with basically no friends, in the ultimate comics, Peter is more of the kid who has a small amount of friends, but isn't popular.”. Honesty i fully agree with this because once again, other versions of a character are allowed to exist. You can dislike one version, but its silly to dislike something for not being exactly like another thing.

Ive also heard that Peter isnt “nerdy enough” in this movie which really doesnt make any sense considering the entire plot happens because Peter was looking into some of his parents’ research. If he wasn't interested in looking further into his father’s work what reason would he have to go to Oscorp where he’s bitten by the spider? Why would he have become Dr. Conner’s assistant? If he wasn’t intelligent how did he develop the web shooters?(something that Tobey!Peter doesn't have to do out of plot convenience might i add).  

 Another complaint i see is that the quips he uses in the movie(the first one specifically it seems) makes him seem like an asshole. Honestly thats a fair complaint, but i think its a good bit of characterization; espcially if he does get better about it in the second movie like the internet suggests.The Peter in this movie is a rightfully angsty teen; of course he acts a bit of an ass to criminals(also i feel like its important to mention that he’s like that to criminals? its not like hes being a dick for no reason).

  Compare this with the Tobey Maguire(TM) movies. Like i said i haven’t seen these in awhile but as far as i’m aware TM’s Peter doesn't really do anything particularly nerdy in the film? I may have forgotten something( ok in the scene before he gets bitten he knows a cool spider fact) but he doesn’t have to invent the web-shooters because they came with his powers and he’s only at Oscorp in the first place because it’s a school field trip that he appears to be taking photos for. This Peter does fit the definition of outcast(friendless and bullied for it), but honestly i just dont like him. He’s weird and something about the character makes me feel like i should be a little grossed out every time he looks at MJ at the beginning of the movie.  

   I honestly don’t have any complaints for Tom Holland’s(TH’s)Spidey. Tom is a great actor and from what ive seen i enjoy his portrayal of the character.( He made me cry when i character i actively dislike died).  

Story

  I cant really say much for TAS story. It’s interesting but nothing special really. However, there is one scene that i don’t think i’ve seen anything like since( the closest would probably be the train scene in the original trilogy). 

 The crane scene. Early in the film Peter saves a boy from a car that has fallen off of a bridge, and at the end of the movie this becomes relevant again when it is uncertain that Peter will be able to get to the lizard to stop him in time.(as Peter is already injured and pretty far from the lizard’s location). The boy’s father is then revealed to be a construction worker who recognizes that Spider-man is going to need help to get to the lizard; he remembers how Spider-Man saved his son and organizes the rest of the construction workers to build a path out of crane arms for SM to swing from. All of them are putting themselves in danger by not evacuating, but SM’s actions in the first act of the film motivate them to do what’s right. 

  I love this scene primarily because it highlights something that i think is a really important part of Spider-Man’s character; his connection to the people he saves. SM is often shown interacting with and chatting with the people he has saved after the fact. One comic shows Peter accidentally scaring some bullies and then taking the time to ride the bus to school with them to continue their conversation and educate the students on bullying.( There’s definitely more but this is off the top of my head).

  Another scene in TAS that i love is shortly before the crane scene when Peter is originally attempting to make his way across the city to stop the lizard, and he is shot down by the police. They manage to unmask him before Peter comes to his senses( he had just been shot and fallen pretty far out of the sky in his defense). From there Peter is able to deal with the police while keeping any of them from getting a good look at his face. The one cop he cant take out happens to be Gwen Stacey’s father who had previously had an argument with Peter about Spider-Man(Peter obviously on SM’s side and Mr. Stacey against SM). Peter turns and allows Captain(?) Stacey to see his face. I believe that this is an example of an unwilling identity reveal done right. i really enjoyed this moment because Peter had just shown that he likely could have gotten out of this encounter with his identity in tact as he had just taken down however many men. This implies that it was an active choice on Peter’s end to trust that Captain Stacey would ultimately do the right thing and allow Peter to go fight the Lizard, rather than a final desperate attempt to get away unscathed. Whether or not this interpretation of the scene is correct or not it still gives the character a bit more agency than some versions have done with their identity reveals.

  In Spider-Man 2 Peter starts to lose his powers because he’s having internal conflict about wether or not he should be Spider-Man. Honestly thats kinda neat and i might want to give that a rewatch. As for the one i have seen i don’t have any complaints. I do however prefer the way that Peter was bitten in TAS because it was a result of him poking around where he shouldn’t’ve been rather than him just happening to be standing in the right place for a spider to land on him. 

  Onto TH’s movies; the way Disney has treated Spidey in the MCU is why TH’s is my least favorite version of the character. I feel like too much of the story revolves around Iron Man; Iron Man made Peter’s suit and equipment, Iron Man introduces Peter to the MCU(via blackmail but thats another rant for another annoyingly long post), its Iron Man that “makes” Spidey in this universe rather than Spidey being self-made. In Homecoming(which remember i havent seen outside of clips so bear with me) most of the conflict is cause directly or indirectly by Tony’s refusal or inabilty to communicate with the teenager he’s meant to be mentoring

 For one the entire incident with the ferry could have very easily been avoided had Tony bothered to communicate with Peter enough to tell him that the situation was being taken care of. On top of that at the moive’s climax Peter is shown trying to get in contact with Happy(from what ive picked up isnt he a chauffeur? like idk his deal i just know he’s someone Peter got pawned off onto after Civil War). Peter even goes as far as to somehow hack into Happy’s phone(i think thats what happened it was a weird tech thing that shouldve been a red flag that the call was important though) but instead of listening; Peter is ignored. If this was a different kind of movie Peter literally could have died and itd be the fault of Happy and Tony like..... A large portion of conflict comes from characters being incompetent and not communicating and thats just poor storytelling.

Before this turns too much into an anti mcu rant id also like to say that the way they did Civil War was really dumb considering that Peter defects to Cap’s side in the comics, but whatever.

 Also i loathe the way they handled the identity reveal at the end of Far From Home. With MCU movies most people know to expect an end credits scene by now, but typically that scene is not important to understand what’s happening in the films; they just aren’t important. Putting an identity reveal here makes it seem significantly less important than it is. On top of that i dislike their use of J Jonah Jameson for this scene.

  JJJ is a character who has been repeatedly shown to have a genuinely good heart. All of his anger comes from a place of love for his city(he even says this hemself in the ps4 game when May writes in to tell him that he needs help). He hates Spider-Man because SM reminds him of the masked man who killed his wife; JJJ has never been able to get past that( and Peter’s antagonism of him definitely doesnt help) However, JJJ has been shown to care for people; he has a son who he often brags about, and one comic shows that JJJ is paying Peter for “amateur” quality photos because he knows that Peter is having a hard time and “just need some help”. JJJ has even learned Peter’s identity before and kept his secret for him(seriously though i cant remember the name of the comic but its defiantly worth the read), and in the original trilogy when Goblin threatens JJJ he claims that he doesn’t know who sends in the photos of Spidey because he does it via email( this is a lie). The MCU will have a very difficult time convincing me that JJJ would ever out a teenager’s identity and put him in danger like that. It goes too far against his character.(this could be hypocritical of me to say considering how i just insisted that multiple versions of a character can exist but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

This is accidentally turning into an MCU rant but id also like to say that i hate the lack of a TH!Spidey origin movie because it gives you no motivaion for Peter becoming SM or explanation of his powers; most people will know these things but if youre unfamiliar with the character its bound to be confusing(and im a sucker for origin movies)

[myheadinthecloudsnotcomingdown]

Hi!! So I’m a really big fan of both your quirkless!izuku fics and was wondering if you had any recommendations for similar stories? I dont have a preference for either villain or hero Izuku, or any particular pairing, I’m just looking for well written multi-chapter fix’s to see me through the apocalypse.

So, I have taken this ask as a challenge!

Quirkless Apocalypse (Over 50,000 words)

*WIP

Sorry most of these are WIPs, but I just went through my bookmarks and picked out some of my favorites. 

Entropy*

Maybe it was All Might's betrayal that finally broke him. Maybe it was the torment from his friends, day in and day out, or the crushing weight of society's collective dismissal of his existence. The reason isn't important anymore- only the consequences. Two years after he and three other students vanished from U.A., Midoriya Izuku is the leader of the fastest-growing group of villains in Japan, and no one is left to stand in his way- no one aside from All Might's successor, the next Symbol of Peace.

All orderly systems descend into chaos. No one is immune to entropy, heroes least of all.

One of my favorite villain fics, basically Izuku becoming worse than the league of villains ever was. 

Four Makes One Team*

“Kacchan,” Izuku said, getting the attention of the boy beside him. “What if I don’t want to be a hero?”

Izuku spoke as if he was setting the world on fire. As if he’d broken time in half and let the fabric of the universe collapse like a folding chair.

Katsuki twitched. “Then what else do you want to be?” There was a tinge of anger in Katsuki’s words, the hint of a shout tipping each consonant.

“Well,” Izuku scratched his neck, eyes locked on the stars attached to the ceiling that shown an odd neon yellow in the afternoon light. “Well, what if I wanted to help heroes or something instead.”

(Where Izuku decides he wants to be hero support, learns computer code, and digs way to deep into a villain case all for the sake of teamwork.)

Basically, Izuku and Katsuki meet some other canon characters as kids and basically become genius vigilantes.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report*

Izuku decides early on that heroics is not the only path to heroism.

I did not know that I needed parental Nighteye, but I definitely did. 

Finding Abandoned Hope*

Nothing in life was fair. Some people just had more luck than others. Midoriya Izuku was not one of those people. He learned that the hard way.

Not everyone gets good quirks. Not every quirk is accepted by people. This was a cruel and unforgiving world and Shinso Hitoshi knew that quite well.

Together, maybe they can have the life they both want.

Runaways, Vigilantes, Dadzawa. What else could you ask for?

Ripples on Deep Water*

Midoriya Izuku didn’t expect much from life. He knew it expected everything of him, and he was always trying to rise up and meet that challenge.Except for one little mutation in his genes that made all the difference.Except for one little change in the route home after a pretty depressing day.Or:When All Might crushes Izuku’s dreams, he crosses the path of someone who rebuilds them. Izuku’s going to be a hero... even if it won’t be exactly as planned.Or:How the tiniest wingbeat of a butterfly over the still ocean brings tsunamis to distant lands.

Izuku meets Mei at the right moment and basically keeps his dream alive. Support!Deku with an eye toward the hero course. 

Black Rabbit*

For most people, waking up in the secret base of one of Japan's most wanted vigilantes would probably be terrifying. For Shouto Todoroki it ends up being first stroke of luck he's ever had. Black Rabbit is nothing like the rumors and ends up being his first real friend. For once in his life Todoroki feels like someone actually cares about and supports him, Black rabbit going as far as to get him a new identity so he wouldn't have to go back to Endeavor. It also helps that, on top of being the embodiment of sunshine personality wise, under the mask Black Rabbit is the gosh darn cutest boy Todoroki has ever laid eyes on.

Izuku Midoriya is the vigilante known as Black Rabbit. Pros all over Japan have tried to catch him but all have failed. Nothing is known about him and he's been doing this for years, living in his secret base alone. He never had a friend until he rescued Todoroki. It's a relief and a blessing to finally have someone who knows him out of the mask and likes him as a person. There's a personal connection and closeness between them that he's never had before and he'll follow it as far as it takes him.

Now if they can only keep their respective identities a secret while attending UA

Vigilante!Deku with a healthy helping of Dadzawa and some sweet TodoDeku on the side. 

Who said the only thing green about him is his hair?*

All Might isn't able to get away from the reporters after saving Bakugou and Midoriya during the sludge incident.

Midoriya Izuku, without motivation, Bakugou's words of suicide ringing through his head. He makes a decision, something that wouldn't ruin Bakuguou's chances of becoming a hero, something where he could get away from everything that was hurting.

Izuku decides to run away. Impulsive and hasty, desperate and in shock, he decides that running away and surviving would hurt less than any other option when reality hits him full force.

Runaway!Deku, enough said.

Swan Dive*

The Slime Villain Incident, and the events leading up to it happen one year earlier. Izuku, broken and lost in the face of All Might's words, decides to take Kacchan's advice. But a familiar Underground Hero won't let a young life end so quickly. How will a simple right-place-right time scenario change things?

OR:

Aizawa Shouta saves the life of Midoriya Izuku and finds himself with a new apprentice and surrounded by a quickly growing family circle. What has he gotten himself into? Heavy Dadzawa and Dadmic. Auntie Nemuri and eventual redeemed Bakugo.

The sweetness! The trauma! This fic will definitely punch you in the heart in more ways than one. 

I’m Here*

What if All Might never dropped that bottle...? There was never a chance to prove himself. Midoriya never became a hero. Take a dive off the roof of the building, that's what Bakugo wanted, right? But a stranger stops him and gives him a new dream for the future. A boy's descent into madness and obsession but not without finding a family amongst a number of misfits. To kill some major league heroes. It's all they want to do and change society. What's the cost?

Insane!Villain!Deku. Literal chills, seriously. It definatly gets dark, so be ready for that. Also the league of villains as family and obsessive TodoDeku. 

I’m Doing This For Them*

Izuku always wanted to be a hero, but without a quirk almost everyone he met said that was impossible, but Izuku's stubborn and he never took no for an answer. So he decides to take his dream into his own hands and do the impossible. Even if he can't legally become a hero what's to stop him from doing it illegally?

A lie-detecting detective, a purple-haired kid, and an insomniac pro hero, that's who.

Or

Izuku decides to try his luck at becoming a vigilante and subsequently annoys the shit out of everyone he meets.

Sassy Viligante!Deku, EraserMic with Shinso, basically so much family!

The Yakuza isn’t that bad*

After Izuku was told by his idol that he can't be a hero without a quirk, he realized something. This world, where the quirked do whatever they want, and the quirkless are treated as less than human, is flawed. And what better way to repair a flawed world than returning it to when it wasn't?

Do you want Mafia!Deku? Very unique fic about Izuku taking over Overhaul’s operation (don’t worry about Eri, she’ll be fine) and pursuing a quirkless world.

Independence*

All Might is the number one hero, and has a beautiful wife, they are a beautiful, loving family. What no one knows is they have a quirkless son. When telling he him he can’t be a hero, Midoriya Izuku takes fate into his own hands, and tries to warn his parents he isn’t going to listen is the silliest of ways. He is still planning to be the best hero, even if he has to tear apart the society norms around him.

Bad bio-dadmight. Izuku is basically running on sheer spite at this point and it’s working. 

Nii-Chan! Nii-Chan!*

Aizawa Shouta is a teen who lives by the rules of logic and rationality, in his second year of Yuuei. When his parents kick him out when discovering he has a boyfriend, he finds himself alone on the street.

Midoriya Inko lives in a small flat with her young and only son after her ex-husband ran learning she was pregnant. With Mother and Son sharing a huge heart with un-measurable amounts of love, they find and help Aizawa.

With a new Mom and a little Brother, Aizawa finally has a family to be proud of.

How much found family can we incorporate into one story? The answer is a lot more than you’d think. Basically once Izuku adopts someone, they are family. Lots of fluff. 

Erased Potential*

Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta.

Pretty much my favorite Dadzawa fic. 

Net Neutrality (series)

I feel like this should be included even if each fic isn’t over 50,000 words. Info Broker!Deku and Vigilante!Deku with Eri getting the love she deserves. This inspired some parts of Mastermind, actually. 

One-Choice: Vigilante*

Time is a funny thing, the way even a single choice can change the world forever. Every single choice can turn the course of fate in unexpected directions.

Midoriya Izuku always wanted to be a hero. Ever since he was a child, he wanted to be someone who saves other with a fearless smile. But when his world comes crashing down around him, when even the tiniest spark of hope is crashed, what would he do?

This entire series is really good. It’s basically another take on what I’m doing with my For the Want of a Nail series. 

Secondary Colors*

"You got pushed down the stairs... and you're apologizing for it," he stated blandly. "That seems counterintuitive.""Um... sorry?" Izuku whispered. He was starting to shake a little, adrenaline flooding his veins and leaving him cold. He had no idea what Purple was going for with his blunt statements and the hand reaching toward his shoulder as if to steady him, but apologizing was generally safe."You don't have to apologize, dude. I don't know your name, but I doubt it's actually Deku.""Um. Midoriya." Izuku peered sideways at Purple as they rounded the corner. "Izuku Midoriya. Deku is just, um, just what my... friends call me." He winced."Sounds real friendly."

Izuku and Shinso are best friends with a lot of Dadzawa and Dadmic.

Pied Piper*

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

One of my favorite Vigilante!Deku fics, hands down. Izuku is an absolute mad lad in this. 

We Don’t Need No Fuckin’ Heroes* 

Almost half a year before Izuku's fated meeting with the Slime Villain, our protagonist finds himself running away from his fears.But instead of letting his fears overtake him and drag him back down to the darkness where they think he belongs, he finds friendship in the most unusual places and with the help of his friends they all claw their way up into the light where they want to be and where they truly belong.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Izuku met Dabi and Toga before they could join the league of villains? Amazing Vigilante!Deku

Detective Midoriya*

After the sludge incident, Izuku Midoriya's dream was officially crushed. However, a later experience takes the boy in a new direction. Izuku had never really contemplated being a detective, but his whole life he'd only ever wanted to help people with a smile on his face. Thanks to some luck and an entire police station, Izuku's dream is reborn.

Izuku joins the police force and basically proves that he’s as amazing as we all know he is. 

There is No Such Thing as Competely Forgiven

Deku doesn't become a hero, though he might be considered one to people that have been rejected by society. He can be petty, twisted, and is loyal to a fault. That hardly makes him evil. No, he just knows the worlds got to change and he can't do that from a side that praises people like Bakagou Katsuki and All Might. He also would love nothing better than to get even with a few people that ruined his life...

Katsuki knows that he is the reason that Deku is dead. He just can hope one day he can forgive himself and that others can as well for the role he played in it. He needs to make the world a better place, one that Izuku would have wanted. He needs to be a hero that does more than punch villains in the face. But its really hard to be a needed change when he can't trust most of his own decisions are the right ones.

One of my favorite villian!Deku fics of all time, mostly because of the found family stuff it’s got going on with the league. It’s also got a sequel if you want more. 

A Deadman’s Gun

“I—“ Izuku hesitated, gaping wordlessly, before admitting softly. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home. There’s nothing for me, there.”

“So you filled this hole by playing detective— And how long is that going to last, I wonder?” Stain replied, still massaging his chin. “But you— You have potential.”

Izuku blinked at Stain’s chest, before looking up. “Excuse me?”

“What a waste would it be, to let you become a red splatter on the sidewalk.” Stain continued, almost contemplating. “No. No, kid, what you need is a new purpose. Your old one is gone? Well, time to get off your ass and find something else—“

Ok, there need to be more parental Stain fics in this fandom, because this is absolutely amazing!

Hero Class Civil Warfare

Heroes lead by Bakugo.Villains lead by Midoriya.Seven days prep time.Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

Ok! Ok! I know this isn’t Quirkless!Deku but I have to include it because it’s a classic and it’s pretty similar to my fics, so I know you’ll love it anyway. It focuses on Izuku’s intelligence rather than his quirk. 

[thekingofwinterblog]

An Analysis of Dabi - Chapter 266-267

*Mayor Spoliers for MHA chapter 266 below”

Following the events of MHA chapter 267, there have been some debate wheter we should take Dabi on his words, in regards of how little he cared about Dabi and what Hawks did to him.

here ill give my thoughts on it, and break down how dabi acts through the chapter and why.

To begin with, in chapter 267 he attacks indiscriminatly with his fire when attacking Hawk, leading to a situation where he could easily have hit dabi if hawke didnt save him. however, as he himself admits, he fully expected Hawk to save Dabi. Which he does(the irony).

There are essentially two ways of looking at this. either Dabi’s words in the next chapter is reinforced here by the way he attacked and could easily have hit dabi, or he took a calculated risk, and banked on Hawks sacrificing more feathers to save Dabi. in the chapter itself there is nothing to prove this either way, but juding by what happened in the next chapter, im going to say he was banking on the second one.

Now, even with this, it shows that this isnt a traditional friendship, as he was most certainly putting Twice in danger with his actions, showing that he is ruthless when it gets down to it, but i really doubt he thought Twice was in real danger of being left behind, as he clearly understands hawks a lot.

Following up on this, he only attacks Hawks again once Twice jumps out of the way. and again it is possible to debate here, as Hawks is clearly distracted by Twice escape from him, and as such a brilliant time to attack.

Following this, it is dabi who encourages twice to go out and save the day for the league, and as he leaves Dabi gives Twice a highfive for encouragment.

Like all the moments ive discussed so far, there are two interpretations of this scene. Either Dabi is giving his buddy an uncharacteristic show of friendship and encouragement to twice as he’s going out to turn the tide, or he’s just prepping him up to use for his own ends.

following him realised that Hawks was fast enough to exit and attacking twice again from the entrance, Dabi tries one last ditch effort to save Dabi, attacking Hawks both through distracting Hawks and through killing him with fire. 

whatever his feelings, Dabi is clearly giving it his all.

following Twice’s death, Dabi explodes in Anger with a blast of fire so strong it blows up the upper windows in the room they were fighting in, that was on the other side of where the blast was directed. Also, he’s screaming in rage.

followin this little outburst, he begins to really lose it, and starts kicking the tar out of Hawks.

also, ive seen a few different translations of what he says here. in this scan he’s mocking Hawks by sarcasticly calling him out on how he just killed Twice(that entire topic is also delving into the central themes of this series which im not going to cover in this post), while in other translations he just screams “How Dare You Kill Twice!”, which one is correct i dont know, but neither really supports the idea that Twice dying didnt affect him.

Also note that throughout the first part of chapter 267, all of Dabi’s speech bubbles are jagged, rough and all around doing a very good job of showing that what just happened really affected him. he’s yelling, shouting being all around the opposite of the calm seemingly never gives a shit guy Dabi always tries to portray himself as. it is a huge departure from how he’s almost always been throughout most of this story.

following up on that, Hawks tries to call him out how he doesnt look like a guy who’s friend just died.

only for Dabi to immediatly mock/reject that idea by telling Hawks that His tear Glands are burnt up, so he isnt physically capable of crying.

Here Dabi begins to fall back to his defence mechanism. Detachment. he purposfully tries to mentally detacht himself from Twice in order to lessen the hurt. Dabi immediatly tries to fall back to how things were when he first met the league, back when he really didnt give a shit about him. Asserting that he didnt care about twice, twice was just part of his plan, the mission, a pawn to use and nothing more. He goes further along in that path as the chapter proceeds, and he begins to calm down, but at this moment, just after Twice died and Dabi failed to save him, that facade is just words.

This is not the face of a guy who just suffered a setback to his plans. this is the face of a guy, who really, really hurts, and has the source of his hurt firmly planted beneath his boots. 

Twice’s death really hurt Dabi, far more than the man who constantly tells everyone how he doesnt care about anything would ever be willing to addmit. so he tries to go back, back to how it was at the start. anything to stop the hurt.

Dabi tries to be sarcastic here. to make this all another one of his jokes about how he doesnt give a shit about anyone. but the reality is that it really isnt. Twice is dead, his budy just got stabbed through the head because Dabi made a bad tactical assessment.

his assesment that he’s pretty broken up over it is completely honest. He simply tries to say that its not because he actually liked Twice, or the leage for that matter. no, for him the only thing that matters is the mission.

And that might be true going foreward, that Twice’s death will lead him to double down on that mission to really distance himself from his criminal, broken found family.

but for right now, the only thing that matters to him is turning the guy beneath his feet into ashes.

As Hawks begins to speak and ask him who the hell he is, Dabi lets him, instead of just delivering the killing blow and be done with it. why he does so, isnt exactly clear. maybe he wants to jab the knife in by telling Hawks who he is(as if thats a secret at this point. just like tobi, there is only one real candidate at this point), maybe he’s curious what hawks last words will be. maybe he’s just not thinking straight.

However, once Hawks is done, It’s very clear that Dabi has calmed down. his speech bubbles back to normal, and he reinforces what his motives are while going back to the cooky arrogant kung-fu guy he always tries to portray himself as.

In other words, He makes a concious decision to reinforce his own self image of who he is. Stain’s true successor, a man who despises false heroes more than anyone else in the world.

this isnt exclusively a defence mechanism to try and distance himself from the league and Twice in order to not hurt, as its things he truely believes in, but its hard to not say that it’s the main motivator. a return to the simpler times when he was alone, and didnt need to be part of a group. after all, if youre alone, you can never be hurt when something happens to anyone else. kinda like what just happened when his friend just died in front of him.

Dabi desperatly tries to push away the pain of Twice dying, and unlike Toga who’s main motivation is always being honest, Dabi is the exact opposite. ever since joining he’s always been the main arguer against not caring about anyone in the league. howver, as shown back during the city arc, Dabi made the choice to stick by Shigaraki when the going got tough, not leaving behind his comrades when it seemed they were losing.

and finally, trying to reinforce that idea to himself, he prepares to kill hawks while delivering the biggest lie of the chapter. 

Wheter you believe that Dabi is being honest about never caring about anyone in the league, i think we can all agree that The last things he says to Hawks is such a bullshit lie.

this matters to him insanely much, and the only reason he would feel the need to lie about it to a dying man, is if he is trying to convince himself that no, he doesnt care. he doesnt care about anything that just happened.

But actions speaks louder than words, and as we’ve seen this entire chapter, Dabi fucking lost it when Twice died and he twisted the knife in before he landed the killing blow.

Dabi cared about Twice, and he took steps to avenge him by burning his killer to a roasted chicken.

[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions. 

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one. 

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example :  one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work. 

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do. 

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame. 

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand. 

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor. 

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

[shametheshadow]

It's been a while. A lot of shit's been going on since I was last kinda active. Sorry, I dont remember how to hide this under a read more line... feel free to scroll past if you arent in the mood for existential whinging. I got a new job and it's pleasant. The people are nice. It's still food, but it's at a fancy restaurant where the management actually cares and tries to keep their crew happy. The hours could be better and I'm currently sick of salads with how many I've made. They give hours based on reliability and if you're a hard worker who is nice to work with. But like... everybody is nice and hard working so it's hard to just muscle in sometimes. But on the positive side I've dropped ten pounds, probably thanks to how light my wallet is. Had an issue with my little brother. Well, there's been an unspoken issue for years that I've been trying to just give him space on, but it finally came to a head. I called him out and he said some pretty hurtful things. I saw him on Christmas, but it wasnt the same. I think it kind of damaged something between us, or at the very least it certainly has me. I think, as people, we build these pillars of absolute truths into our identities. The things we know without a doubt, that we can rely on to stay true even when things are bad. Like, that the sky is blue or that a parent we have will always love us. When those truths are shaken they really make you wonder what else could be wrong or if there was ever any truth in it to begin with. For me, no matter how bad I felt or hated myself, I knew I could be a good sister. I'd throw myself down for it. I have done so, unfortunately, many times before. We all see the world a little differently, so my truth may not be the truth someone else sees. I dont know whether that makes it any better, but I certainly feel unsure about more things now than I used to. Some days I even feel like giving up on our relationship. I'm just too tired, too worn down, and I don't think I can handle being called a failure again. Which sucks, because I dont really want to. I just want to know how to fix it, even though I'm not sure I have any more energy to try again if it's just going to lead to another failure. And on top of all of that my bio dad and all those siblings are tasting the bitter consequences of their actions. My youngest sister got taken away from her parents because instead of breaking up and being adults about it they have to be petty and cowardly. One has unchecked anger issues mixed with plenty of excuses and the other thinks she's owed some sort of respect despite her immature actions. Thing is, I've had plenty of talks with my bio dad about the effects their toxic relationship have on his 6 year old daughter. He knows. He isnt stupid or blind. He'd just rather keep it going despite everyone's unhappiness and dig a deeper hole so he doesn't have to risk losing custody of his daughter if they break up. And here we are now. With his daughter taken away and given to our 21 year old sister who doesn't have a clue. And they've failed to regain custody once already. And you know the fucking hilariously tragic part of it? Me and my sister Des are the only two without some sort of record so nobody else in the family can help. Just a fucking warning for any teens out there who think being a gangster is cool, life always has consequence. Doing drugs, selling pills, pimping, stealing cars, assault, having unregistered weapons... my family has probably done just about anything. Apparently my bio dad's stepfather even threatened to shoot my grandma once. There's an argument to made about the environment they all grew up in, but I really wish people would just have the self awareness to realize that things will always find a way to bite you in the ass and it's it big enough then it'll get the people around you too. I normally get my sister on weekends, but I need to work Saturdays as a requirement for my employment. I try to cut it short so I can be there when they drop her off, but half the time they dont and send her somewhere she isnt supposed to go. I'm risking my job trying to be there when I'm needed, just for them to change their mind at the last second because I wasnt home soon enough. They'd rather risk losing our sister to the system by breaking the rules. CPS doesn't play around. I've had to tell them two or three times that I couldn't take our sister because I was sick or dealing with some really stressful family stuff that Koral didnt need to be there to see. Every time I feel like the punishment is that they stop letting me see her by not bringing her over anymore. Then out of the blue they call on a weekday and ask if I can take her because she has a day off or something. I have never once said no but every time it sends me into an anxiety attack because I can't handle being kept in the dark until they need me. It's got me so worked up that sometimes I genuinely wish I had never been told my dad wasnt my real dad. Of course, I know that by knowing I can help a little girl who needs help, but I wont lie and say that I never wished I didn't have time deal with any of it. I got the news today that my bio dad is in trouble for something else, though they wouldn't say what. So they arent going to give him custody until that's settled at the very least. Shortly into it my sister had asked me to take over the guardianship. I was so out of the loop that I thought the question was absurd. I thought they'd pull it together and get her back in a short time, so what would the point of moving her to another town and school be? How would I go about that? What would the home requirements be? Would I be able to provide for the both of us? I wouldn't be able to leave work until 4 at the earliest shift, so would after school stuff be best or daycare? There's so much that goes into taking care of a kid to just spring that question onto someone. Now it's been four or five months and I'm hating the idea that she's stuck there in the middle of it all more and more. People keep telling me I should take her. Even my manager after I broke down and told him everything after my sister's call left me a mess at work, said that I would be the better option. I know what it's like to be fought over in custody battles and I understand way too well the fear of being taken away from your home as well as what it's like to change schools. I dont want that for Koral. I dont even know if I would be the better option. I talked to my cousin, whom I live with, about it for a while last night and she said she wouldn't be opposed to having Koral with us... but I feel bad making this her issue too. I want what is best for my sister. She's way too smart. You know when unqualified pet owners get a dog breed that is really smart and they struggle to meet the needs to keep it entertained so it just makes trouble? That is what my sister is like. My family has their strengths, but Koral is 6 and could run circles both physically and mentally around them. It might be "funny" now, but Lansing itself is a shitty influence on people and by the time she's a teenager and wants to go to a party, nothing is going to keep her from getting out short of bars on the windows and doors. The only thing stopping her from doing it now is motive. But would I do any better? I genuinely dont know. I wish I could talk to my brother about it. He knows where I come from and, even if he thinks I failed, he could at least tell me how to be better so I dont fuck up again for a little girl who is in a situation similar to one we were in. I asked Des today if she wanted to talk to their case worker about transfering guardianship. She said she's have to talk to her dad... which is bullshit. He lost the right to dictate where Koral goes when he fucked up. How is he supposed to be motivated to fix this if the only thing that has changed is that she doesn't sleep in her bedroom anymore? He shouldn't see her when he wants to or be able to say what happens to her. And I dont say that because I think he shouldn't ever be able to, because I want him to step it up, I just feel like he wont if things keep going as they are. I dont want to lose my sister to the system. Supposedly the social worker said that Koral also has to stay in the same school and can't see anyone not on the already approved list of people for the sake of consistency... but that's stupid. I know that changing schools can be traumatizing, and if Lansing was a good place to live and raise a kid, then maybe I'd try to make that work, but it isnt. So it makes me wonder that if I came to the table with a clearly stable, appealing plan would they change their minds? If it were my choice, I'd have her in therapy to help deal with everything, maybe a sport like gymnastics or whatever else she might be interested in to keep her engaged. I'm planning a kids d&d session for her and another kiddo that she plays with when she's here because last time she found my monster manual and got obsessed. And I know it wont be all good. She's a handful and a brat, and she can be a force of nature when she doesn't get her way, but I've been an older sister since I was five and my family didnt out up with bratty behavior. I know how to deal with it, and I also know how to use the internet and other resources to learn. Hell, I live with a child therapist/youth minister. I know I could do it. Even if it ended up being a permanent thing. I'm torn between the fear of not being enough at the expense of my sister's wellbeing and knowing that I'd gladly twist myself into a pretzel to try and do right. But when it comes to other people, especially a kid, is trying enough? Good intentions don't equal a quality of living. So yeah, that's where I am right now. Trying to be better and figure out who I am while also being incredibly stressed out and lost. If you read through this, thank you for listening to this TED talk. I'm open to advice.

[vacantbloodbones]

The Disappointing Crimes of JKR

so it’s 2 am and I have a fight to finally get home (i’ve been MIA for a while because I needed a vacation tbh) THIS IS A LOOOONG ONE, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! but on one of my flights I finally got to watch FB2 and it’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts. Like, I knew the disappointing confusion I was signing up for... I had seen SO many YT reviews on the film and from HP fans to just FB1 fans had gathered their opinions... and it was all negative...  So I had my apprehension going into watching this (thank fuck it was free) and I’ve got a lot of my own opinions to say... So if you are aware of myself, you know that I actually loved FB1 and how the flow and characters went. Genuinely, I think as a stand alone film it was actually a good, comprehensive piece of story and film; you had exposition, build up, character development, tension, climax and fallout/outro/conclusion...  So, what went OH SO WRONG in FB2, in my humble-ass opinion?  Well, lets get into this adventure with me, pals... stick with me as I rant my good ol’ heart out, grab some snacks, a drink, maybe some liquor of choice (in my case).  In the beginning, there was... well, absolute confusion??? For an entrance into a film, especially a franchise that has a previous film, I firmly believe there needs to be SOMETHING that explains and ties the previous entry to the latest one... Especially since this series hinges on a handful of characters (Newt, Tina, Credence, Grindelwald, and Queenie + Jacob) and to just throw us into Gellert’s VERY confusing transfer to Europe’s Ministry to answer for his crimes... The intro threw me off; there’s a time jump and there’s an extreme LACK of having our previously established characters development and fallout from the first film being EXPLAINED so we (audience) can make a connection to this next entry.  Like, Credence’s survival (yes, I’m well aware of the deleted scenes that were actually supposed to be shown at the end of FB1 according to Yates...) because we don’t get to connect the dots on screen of HOW and WHY Credence and his Obscurus survived with the additional information of his Obscurus being HANDLED (like, wasn’t the premise of the previous film the urgency of how this THING was going to KILL him and EVERYONE in NYC?), him finding his adoption paper, getting to Paris and into a travelling circus (which, also... makes no sense??)... We’ll put a pin on that for a bit here...  Also, Tina and Newt’s relationship; we really are left wondering how and why they are even romantically involved as the first film established them as strangers to mutual friends at the end... Something that should’ve been shown on screen could’ve been Newt choosing to continue his Beasts studies and books over staying and risking himself being in America for his love interest, Tina. Again, put a pin on that for now...  But instead, I just felt the into to the film was as vapid as JKR’s writing when she simply just doesn’t care for CONTINUITY and actually making sense of ANYTHING.  But nnnooooo, we just get an hour and a half of meaningless exposition and threads that aren’t even expanded or given closure to...  Gellert putting Abernathy as his doppelganger really pissed me off, because we never are shown an inkling as to WHY Abernathy chose or perhaps had always been on Gellert’s side (could’ve even expanded on the idea of Abernathy playing a role in Percival’s capture/implied death in the first film)... Even Seraphina doesn’t mention or show ANYTHING about their most powerful wandless wizard being GONE... he was SOMEONE alive and WORKING in MACUSA for a substantial amount of time... that had connections, powers above anyone, and obvious trust and influence to Seraphina... which also begs the question, why is there such a heavy emphasis on Gellert using his wand magic, when he had been using wandless while impersonating Mr. Graves?  Now, to get into another huge issue; character development continuity: How did the time jump from the intro give us very DIFFERENT characters than the one’s we had been introduced, learned to love/hate be turned into vacant shells of all their development?  Like, I’m sorry but what in the actual FUCK did JKR do with Queenie’s character? She seemed like a genuinely sweet and subtly powerful witch that used her gifts to her advantage... to this, desperate, powerless, and lost character? The Queenie we were shown had a sparkle for adventure and curiosity that gradually came to admire Jacob and truly was heart broken when his memory was erased--to kidnapping him, putting a love charm against his will, and forcing him to go to London with her? She acted the very opposite of who she is and she seemed to have strong morals to stand by her sister’s side, help no-maj’s out, and using her powers for what she felt was right.... To being hapless in Paris, because she wouldn’t own up to her kidnapping and using magic on Jacob against his will, and then DECIDING to JOIN Gellert’s very VAGUE AND STRANGE CULT.  Newt seemed more like a confused boy the entire installment with flashes of him and his abilities with connecting to beasts, thrown into this second installment as a reminder that “fantastic beasts” is in the title of the movie...  Also the broken up dialogue; I DIDNT GET A SINGLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IN ANY GODDAMN CONVERSATION HELD BY ANY CHARACTER! like WOW for a two hour+ movie I got ZERO dialogue that made me go ‘ahhh i get it now!’ no, everyone was running away from each other like a grade-school gym dance.  Jacob was still, sort of, Jacob... but he and Newt’s friendship didn’t feel authentic in this film as it did in the previous. The banter (or lack thereof) was kind of just a callback to me of saying ‘ahahaha, dont you remember Jacob being funny in the last movie????? well look at this funny moment thats totally not needed!’  EVERYONE AVOIDING EACH OTHER FROM MISCOMMUNICATION LIKE THEYRE TEENAGERS REALLY MADE THE ADULT TONE OF THE LAST FILM JUST FALL FLAT... I had screamed internally every time some interaction happened and then someone RUNS AWAY! like, aren’t they adults??? even HP films has young TEENS being more accountable and willing to talk than every adult in this MOVIE.  Lets get into Gellert’s confusing vague cult of reasoning; Gellert’s wishes and aspirations and him killing people and children to comparing his reasoning that he will stop WW2 with his hookah skull... just didn’t make sense, I’ll also add that Gellert’s LACK of character really just pissed me off, like, Voldemort wasn’t revealed until waaaay later and even when he was a face on the back of someone’s bald ass head; made a more CONVINCING and REASONED character with his motives. Gellert just seemed like a casual shit disturber and running a murderous vague cult because Albus won’t do shit and he knows it... He’s like an angsty teenager that never got had someone sit and hug it out type deal. Also, the way he treats his followers and the lack of showing HOW he got so many followers; like, I’m sorry but how did this angsty man-baby get followers???? Oh, right, he used his words that... AGAIN, fall goddamn short even when we FINALLY got to see his “gathering” and “speech” that was so hyped for almost 2 hours... It didn’t make sense to his reasoning or why he was acting out IMHO.  Alright, now let’s get to the character introduction... or really, half-assed intro to the many people I COULDNT CARE FOR... Expect my personal surprise with Theseus, we’re introduced to a man that seems more compelling and complex than Gellert (seriously tbh). Somehow we’re led to believe a guy who constantly (as we’re shown) to reach out to Newt that HES the one making their relationship complicated? When it becomes apparent that Leta and Newt are the two with complicated history and Theseus loves them both deeply????? Enough that he just stands back knowing damn well Newt and Leta have a past but he’s secure in his relationship between all both people he just wants them all to get along. Now, I get that Theseus wants Newt to be an Aura, but we’re also shown he has his reasons to help Newt (ultimately); Theseus showed more character development than ANYONE in this ENTIRE MOVIE (well Albus is second in this) but him CHASING HIS BROTHER TO GET ANSWERS is somehow ‘BAD TEMPER’ according to Tina... like really, almost all the female characters were lacking level-headed sanity purposely written by JKR so I would resent the characters I had grown to actually like???? Nagini is just thrown into the plot as a mother-like figure for Credence but Credence is displayed as some selfish man-child, he can’t reason with Nagini and it leads to their strange relationship ending with Nagini feeling betrayed. And then there’s Leta and her over-played storyline to be cut short by her sacrifice that literally didn’t do anything for the plot but make me want to punch a wall because Theseus is left with a broken heart and a brother who will ditch him in a minute to talk to Albus...  There were other characters that were so lacking in development that if any or all of them died, I felt like I could still sleep like a baby knowing that JKR had made such shitty vapid characters and lack of development, I felt NOTHING for practically everyone. Albus, Theseus, and Queenie had the most emotional complexity but even then, I’m giving them kudos because everything else was lacking so much I clung onto whoever threw an emotional fit first.  The whole dynamic between Albus, Gellert, and Credence really just angered me. Red herring the entire premise of Credence wanting to know his identity so DESPERATELY he was willing to join Gellert’s vague emo posse of a cult, only to be revealed as not a Lestrange (which we had been hyped tf up to know) as, instead, THE BRO ALBUS AND NOBODY IN THE HP UNIVERSE APPARENTLY KNEW OR WAS EVER EXPLAINED JUST WHY ALBUS’ BABY BROTHER IS ON A BOAT TO AMERICA (i’M GUESSING THIS EXPOSITION WILL BE EXCRUCIATINGLY TOLD ONLY TO BE SOME OTHER LIE AND BAM CREE IS DEAD)???? But YES lets not elaborate on the queer baiting of Credence, Albus, and Gellert... JKR just wanted to hype us up for nothing and all of Credence’s development and complexity is summed up to ‘lol ur a dumbledore, cree’ really is a slap to the face. Albus being trapped a majority at the school was a half-ass way for us to not have Albus confront Credence to get him to fin d his answers at Hogwarts... Lets be real.  But basically, everyone wasn’t themselves, people we were introduced to were flatlined or placed in stereotypical tropes, and every exposition turn was a red herring thats never elaborated on or concluded... the lack of goddamn comprehensive dialogue, and we got queer baited by the ever infamous JKR....  and my final take: WHERE THE FUCK IS PERCIVAL GRAVES?????  So, this was my long-ass ranting about this movie and why I probably watched it for the criminal reasoning to hurt myself and be disappointed in the end... Was i surprised? NO.  Am I going to watch the next installment... maybe... just for closure to this epic failure of a second installment.  Thanks for making it to the end, I hope this was less painful than the actual film. 

[moonchildhcs]

yoonpark hcs

ugh this gif ! the hecking flavor

anyways uwu hello again my friends today we return to our moonchild with some hecking fresh content,,, some yoonpark

but this time with some additional Spice. Some Flavor.

*youtuber voice* let just jump right into it

yall met at a club oopsies but it does not play out the way you think it does !

u and persi were at the club like a couple of losers and persi was tipsy but u were just. fucking drunk and u were RAMBLING about the composition of the song currently blasting through the club and you were like “tHis, my dudes, is fucking GARBAGE”

u proceeded to go on a ten minute tangent about why this song was trashy and awful even though a different song has been playing for a while now

and yoongi, slightly tipsy, looks at you and goes Oh? I Too Have Strong Feelings On The Music Selections

and u feel. someone staring at you and you turn around and its this?? hot guy?? and ur like Oh Fuck Dude Persi-

but persi has YEETED away its now just you, in your booth, with a drink, and ur boii is like “this is my chance” and he slides in and ur lik FUCK

but you guys hit it off and spend the rest of the night talking about music and stuff and eventually yall get each others numbers before you each head ur seperate ways back home

u wake up in the morning with a massive hangover going what the HECK while persi hands u some water, cackling as they tell you to check ur phone

and u DO and theres this guy,,,, in ur texts,, telling you good morning and he hopes your hangover isnt too bad since you drank a lot

he also mentions that you have good music taste

and u YODEL

and that is how yall meet !!! and tbh yall didnt see each other in person fora while but turns out hes the cutest yet snarkiest boy ever and yall text daily!!! turns out hes an aspiring producer and musician and ur just. in LOVE!!

but its also the same for bb boii because hearing you talk about languages and ur love for teaching (also the fact that ur not a native korean speaker but ur still so good at it?? his heart goes doki doki just for you) and hes just So Very In Love with you and your passion and drive !!!!

and yall grew closer and closer before,,, yall go out on a bit of a date but also just to hang out its Hard To Tell but ur both a bit nervous so its moreso like a date uwu

and yall hang around a history museum before going out to the City and visit markets and stores and eat dinner and stuff (dont worry he remember how picky you are and made sure he found a nice place with multiple options that would appeal to you !!) before yall hit a music store !! yall explore the albums available there but also the instruments and ur like wow these are all so cool !! and then,,

yoongi sits down by the piano and starts playing this super short piece but ur heart, goes doki doki and ur like heck im hecking in love

u stand there shellshocked as yoongi waves his hand in front of ur face like ?? hello??? maam???

anyways after more dates like that yall make it Official and u guys are legit so cute and dorky its unbelievable

although yall do love going out and exploring, especially at night,, yall treasure those indoors dates as well when youre both just too tired to go out and have fun !! it consists of wiggling to some choice music, binge watching a good series, dramatic readings of some nice books, napping together, trying (and failing) to make some food before ordering takeout, etc

also sometimes ur indoors dates do devolve into criticizing some of the more questionable music tastes of the other 

yoongi: dude halsey sounds like the baninis and avocados vine

you: she does and i love her for it, now shut the fuck up before i bring up kanye west

yoongi: bitch you better stop i get it i once had bad taste but i CHANGED

jokes jokes but fr yall are such big hecking nerds about stuff together of course you have music in common !! its a big interest of both of yours but you guys also have your own other interests !!!

you both love love photography so you both can be spotted just going out to explore and take photos, but also if one fo you wakes up early you take a cute pic of the other while theyre sleeping and then you wake up bc of the clicking sound and u both lie there giggling and being cutiepies

also he knows ur not necessarily the biggest fan of basketball and you dont necessarily go out of ur way to play it but this boy, this absolute nerd, loves to flex on you with his basketball skills dont even @ him on this okay

yoongi: heyo wanna do a competition on who can spin a basketball on there finger the longest

you: eh i think ill pass

yoongi: what if,,, i bought you some filipino food

you: Bring It On, Bitch Boy

yall playfully call each other insults btw but its all in good fun and only done occasionally !! usually yall call each other by ur names but !! sometimes yoongi drops a casual pet name and u go,,, Oh Worm??

and sometimes when u wanna embarass him u call him the sweetest, cringiest pet names in public, ESPECIALLY in front of his six bffs and they all go Oh? Yoongles? Baby? Sweetie Pie? Parker’s Pumpy Umpy Umpkin?? and he is out for the kill now sleep with one eye open parker

also pls do expect some hecking COOL trakc she made dedicated to you he made one for your 1 year anniversary and u cried because sometime its just instrumentals but this time it included a rlly heartfelt rap and u SOBBED nd hes like OOPS but also hehehe

also u both sometimes struggle with mental health and u guys just have,, the others fave comfort foods saved in the notes app and when one of yall texts the other going “sorry had a rough day” yall pick up the others fave foods then go and cuddle them

but if ur rough patches coincide yall do ur best to motivate the other to at least get smth small done that day so you can both be proud that in spite of it all you still made at least some progress :)

anyways you guys are the sweetest, cutest, dweebiest couple alive an god do we stan !!! just go ahead and flex on the rest of us with your functional healthy and cute relationship

but also here comes the s p i c e

hello??? yes i had to include at least some spice to this i mentioned spice a l o t

anyways ur the biggest brat to grace the earth and our boy loves to make you fucking weep and submit to him oopsies

hes a lot more dominant than his exterior lets him on to be ! and the marks on your skin (and by skin i mean All Over Your Body) only goes to show that he has no mercy and if you purposely tease him even a lil he will absolutely wreck you

he likes seeing u in lingerie !! like can either of you, one a musician the other a hopeful linguist and teacher, afford these expensive ass sets? no, but he loves seeing you in white lace and not even god could stop him ! unfortunate how sometimes he gets too rough and tears it off and u dont say anything in the moment but when you wake up the next morning, sore as fuck, you look at the remains of the cute lingerie and go,, yoongi that was 200 bucks

and hes like huh? thats awful spicy

anyways ur both initially a bit quiet during sex but when u accidentally let slip that ur just a bit of a degradee ur boy,, loses it

and from now on he dirty talks you to the high heavens and ur like FUCK because sometimes he calls you his whore but other times he sarcastically calls you princess and ur like,,, heck

also :^) his tongue technology is no joke :^) when he eats you out all of ur neighbors find out his name oopsies because he knows exactly what to do with his tongue and ur there, shaking, enjoying it all

honestly just expect to be sore

but he isnt always this intense !! sometimes he just wants to be close to you and yall spoon and stuff

or he might have had a long day producing so you just ride him

also some might say he sleeps immediately after sex but i think hed make sure that youre totally fine first

like he cleans you up with a towel, runs you a bath if you have the energy, and cuddles you and once ur both settled THEN will he fall asleep

[tinamaetales]

2017 K Drama Journey

It was that one night, while scrolling through my facebook feed that I came across this short clip from Doctors wherein Park Shin Hye is beating up the gangsters in the ER. I got curious so I decided to find a copy of it and try watching a K Drama. I thought, why not give it a try? It was during those times that I was recovering from my PUD and I just resigned from my job and I really want to watch a good tv series and K Dramas are really popular nowadays so I decided to give it a try and, I wasn’t disappointed. K Dramas, as cliché as it may sound, changed my life. Every show I’ve watched was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In addition, they taught me lessons I never expected in the first place.

I would just like to share with you a “summarized” version of my views about the kdramas I’ve watched in 2017 (cause ya know, I’ve already posted my individual reflections about them here)

Doctor Stranger

My rating: 7/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk, Park Hae Jin, Kang So Ra and Jin Se Yeon

This is an interesting drama to watch because it doesn’t only focuses on the romance aspect but also divulge into the topic of politics and medicine. The best part? The competition between Park Hoon and Han Jae Joon for it served as an avenue for their growth both as doctors and as a person. However, I felt like the romance part in here is a bit forced; I’m sorry but the main couple has zero chemistry.

My fave quote: “…the doctor’s gown you wear? That’s sufficient enough for people to put their lives in your hands. Let’s not disappoint them”

My fave OSTs:

Like Tomorrow Won’t Come by G/O

A Good Day Like This by Jeon Hye Won

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/158622149566/strangers

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/159863753466/who-is-the-real-stranger

Goblin

 My rating: 10/10

Starring: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na and Yook SuengJae

The best K drama ever. It’s perfect. That’s all. This K drama will make you value life more and will show you that death isn’t something we should be afraid of – it’s a part of our journey on Earth, an end to a life once lived and it will only be regrettable if you didn’t live your life right. Anyway, this is a story about a Goblin who lives for more than 900 years and is searching for the Goblin’s Bride that will pull out the sword from his chest to end his immortality is surely something that would catch your attention. Let’s also add that he has an amnesiac Grim Reaper for a best friend (lol) and a spoiled brat ‘nephew’ who is so in love with his credit card. What will make you get hooked in this drama? It’s how every character are related to each other both in beautiful and painful ways; yes, even that gorgeous chicken store owner has a very important role. The part that broke my heart in this drama is the realization that the key to ending the Goblin’s immortality has become his reason to stay alive. It’s ironic how someone who has the ability to end you is also the only reason for you to keep going. Ang sakit bes.  It was a perfect mix of romance, comedy and drama.

My fave quotes:

“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you”

“If god really only gives one as many struggles as one can handle, he may have thought too highly of me”

“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received”

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful………If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love”

“How could you tell me to remember only the happy memories but to forget you? That makes no sense because every moment I spent with you was a happy one even though each and every moment was also sad and difficult. So, did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?”

“I will come as the rainfall. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to do just that”

“Every moment I spent with you shined. Because the weather was good. Because the weather was bad. Because the weather was good enough”

My fave OSTs: (all of them actually, lol)

Beautiful by Crush

Stay With Me by Punch ft. Chanyeol (EXO)

I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee

Hush by Lassie Lindh

I miss you by Soyou

And I’m Here by Kim Kyung Hee

You are so beautiful by Eddy Kim

Heaven by Roy Kim

Round and Round by Heize

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/160115970831/souls

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/161922642721/i-dont-wanna-live-forever-goblin-post-part-2

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/175471572666/hes-always-listening-goblin-post-part-3 

W

 My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo

One of the most interesting plots in the K drama land; it is a story about the lead character of a famous comic book series who developed “free will” that scared his creator so much to the point that he wanted to kill off his main character. Kang Chul’s (the comic book’s main character) creator is afraid of how he seem to be directing his own story so his solution is to kill him however due to an amazing twist of fate, the creator’s daughter (which happens to be a doctor) gets sucked inside the comic book world every time that Kang Chul is in danger in order for her to save him. This k drama knows no chill by the way, it will keep you on the edge of your seat every episode. It’s intense and sometimes stressful to watch but you will love every moment of it anyway.

My fave quotes:

“But in last moment, he suddenly thought of one word: ‘Come-from-behind-victory’. Kang Chul decided to keep fighting until he found the true culprit – he wouldn’t be able to take back his own life. So he will find the culprit before he dies, no matter what.”

“The first purpose of the characters are to deliver the story. When the purpose is gone, the character disappears forever. On the contrary, when a character’s purpose becomes clear… then the character becomes one of the main characters by force”

 My fave OST:

Where are u by Jung Joon-young

Please say something, even though it is a lie by Park Bo Ram

More of my reflection: 

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/164668803281/hero

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/174726704651/kang-chuls-fight-is-my-fight-w-blog-post-part

Love in the moonlight

My rating: 9/10

Starring: Park Bo Gum, Kim Yoo Jung, Kwak Dong Yeon, Chae Soo Bin and Jinyoung (B1A4)

My first historical drama. It’s charming especially when you have Park Bo Gum as the Crown Prince and Kim Yoo Jung as the female lead, what more can you ask for? The romance side of this feels natural and would make you feel kilig everytime! You will love it to the moon and back. Moreover, the social issues it presented were still timely and relevant. It will make you realize that no matter how many years have passed and how different the government system has changed through the years, if those in position are motivated by their love of power instead of service to people then things would definitely won’t turn out well. This drama shows us that it is when the government listen to its people that it can be effective. The officials should not create higher gates and longer barriers between them and its people but instead open its doors and close the distance after all, without its people the government is nothing.

My fave quotes:

“I wish you would be a king with good eyes because if you’re too high up, you tend not to see people below you. I wish you have good ears – you must not listen only to those who yell before you… Please protect every single person for they’re all your people. Will you promise me to become a King like that?” 

“Rather than a sun that shines alone, he’s a ruler who shines brightly when among his people, like the moonlight—I believe the king is that kind of person.”

 “The highs and lows between me and my people, the distance between me and you—I hope that you will understand my wish to be one step closer.”

My fave OSTs:

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds by Gummy

Melting Heart by K. Will

My Person by Park Bo Gum

I think I’m done sleeping by Soyou ft. Yoo Seungwoo

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/165394639616/the-rebel-prince

Legend of the blue sea

 My rating: 7/10

One of the most hyped K drama of 2016 and even though it fell short on its promising story line, I still get to enjoy watching this. It’s interesting to watch a love story between a mermaid and a human especially when it also included the theme of reincarnation. This drama also shows us the value of second chances – it is an opportunity for us to change the course of our fate but it will be our choice…it’s up to us if we want to be better.

Starring: Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun, Shin Won Ho, Lee Hee Joon and Shin Hye Sun

My fave quotes:

“If someone is reborn, might it be because they have an unrealized dream? That dream could be an unfulfilled love, or it could even be unsatisfied greed.”

“The fact that everything is repeating isn’t a curse, but an opportunity—to change the ending.”

“But when I make friends with someone, that’s it for me. Whether you backstab or not, that’s your choice. I’ll think about what I’ll do if you do backstab me. Until then, you’re my friend.”

“Rather than being unable to love my daughter because I can’t remember her, it’s better to live remembering her, even if it’s painful.”

My fave OSTs:

Love Story by Lyn

A World that is You by Yoon Mirae

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168356428401/when-history-repeats-itself

 Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

My rating: 8.5/10

If I could only describe this K Drama in one word, it would be charming. The plot is light yet relatable. Easy to watch yet filled with great life lessons too. It will actually remind us of our younger years – the silly crushes, the dreamers in us and the unforgettable friendships we gained. What I like the most about it is the simplicity of its plot yet it will touch your heart.

Starring: Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“No matter how high the mountain is, it will not be as grand as your dreams. This is nothing hard! We get back up no matter how harshly we’re trampled upon”

“I hope you will confront that matters (resentment towards your mother and your complicated emotions towards your uncle’s family) squarely. Those emotions such as gratitude, guilt or tiredness from pretending you don’t know the truth.. should burst out at least once. Only then you will be completely free from the trauma you are having” 

“Everyone has a youth. A time that’s more beautiful because it’s awkward and clumsy, a time that shines brilliantly. A time when you’re not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose, and a time when you’re excited because you can have anything, everything. That’s now, age 24, my youth. Although I’m still uneasy and nervous, I’m perfect without needing anything else.”

My fave OSTs:

You and I by Kim Jong Wan

Dreaming by Han Hee

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168888275251/swag

Cheese in the trap

My rating: 6/10

If you’re looking for a realistic yet harsh approach towards depicting our society in general, then this k drama is a must watch for you. It shows how the real world sucks. It has its charming side too though, especially the love triangle between Yoo Jung, Hong Seol and Baek In Ho and it will sometimes make you feel that both guys are deserving…actually erase that…all of them are deserving of love especially after all the struggles and challenges they’ve went through at such a young age. This drama started out strong but the ending felt a bit empty.  

Starring: Park Hae Jin, Kim Go Eun, Lee Sung Kyung, Seo Kang Joon and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“Once you start working, you’ll realize you’re no longer the center of the universe, you realize there’re many people who are better & scarier than you and you need to accept that you cannot control everything.”

“People who play victim will always end up like that, losing what they have as they attempt to gain what isn’t theirs” 

“Why is it that people always want what belongs to other people? Then they delude themselves thinking other people’s things are theirs when in the end they lose what’s their own.”

“There are ups and downs in relationship but maintaining longevity is hard”

“No matter how rock bottom you are, you shouldn’t bring harm to people who care about you”

“Don’t put up walls and look down on people because among those people, there are some who sincerely wanted to be friends with you”

 My fave OSTs:

My Time with you by Vanilla Acoustic

Einfuhlung by Tearliner

Just a little by Sweden Laundry

Maybe I like you by Cosmos Hippie

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168925207681/trapped

Descendants of the Sun

My rating: 9.5/10

One of the best k dramas ever! I swear! It tells a great story of love, service and sacrifice. It is a great combination of romance, action, thrill, and philosophy.  The best thing about this is how it executed the differing principles of the way doctors and soldiers save lives. It shows us how we can find ourselves through the service of others.  

Starring: Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, and Kim Ji Won

My fave quotes:

“Soldiers always live with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless land for the sake of their country, the place of their death become their grave and their uniform become their shroud. This should be every soldier’s mindset every time they put down their uniform. Therefore, be honorable at every moment – there’s no reason to fall short” 

“I’ve been given the privilege to be a doctor, I faithfully pledge my life to serve humanity. The health and life of my patient will always be my priority. I will faithfully carry out my duties regardless of the patient’s race, religion or nationality. I will not use my knowledge inhumanely even when I’m under threat. I hereby take this oath on my account and on behalf of my honour”

 My fave OSTs:

Everytime by Chen of EXO ft. Punch

Always by Yoon Mirae

You are my Everything by Gummy

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/169657649021/sacrifices

Hwarang

My rating: 7.5/10

I once described this drama as oppa overload because it was really filled with handsome oppa! Anyway, this is a great drama to show how the youth, despite them being young, can become the nation’s future. It is when we guide the young people rightly that we can secure a good future. It also shows us how much we needed to be united for our country’s sake because we can do so much better if we work with each other instead of against each other. This is a story of growth and brotherhood. A must watch, for sure.

Starring: Go Ara, Park Seo Joon, Park Hyung Sik, Choi Min Ho (SHINee), Do Ji Han, Kim Tae Hyung (BTS),  and Jo Yoon Woo

My fave quotes:

“It’s only those who possess a lot who fear. If you don’t have anything, you don’t fear anything.”

“Only when they (Hwarang) were able to think and live freely that they can dream of a future for Silla”

“Don’t be silenced by an order created by another. You are not a horse on a chess board. You are Hwarang who are freer than anyone else in this world. The fact that you are Hwarang, never forget that”

“Being young and weak is not a sin.”

My fave OSTs:

Even if I die by V and Jin from BTS

Our Tears by Park Seo Joon

I’ll be here by Park Hyung Sik

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/170972988531/change-starts-with-us

Doctors

My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung and Yoon Kyun Sang

This K drama will always have a special place in my heart because of how much I love and can relate with its heroine. The focus of this is the life of a great neurosurgeon Dr. Yoo Hye Jung – her ups and downs and how she manage to come out of all the challenges thrown at her stronger than ever. Her life story is really inspirational.

My fave quotes:

“The cells that make up a human are always in a state of instability. To live is to be unstable. In the end, the essence of life is change.”

“Unresolved pasts will always come back to find you whether it’s love or resentment”

“People say that forgiveness is not for others but for yourself. They shouldn’t say such things. Forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds.”

“When doctors become guardians, they too are merely impotent humans.”

“A genuine meeting can change a person. The person I am with right now could change my life. That’s why a person can be both hope and despair”

 “I had once dreamt of revenge — killing everyone and myself. But there is such a thing as karmic justice, and at the center of that is not me, but the world.”

My fave OSTs:

No Way by Park Yongin  and Kwon Soonil of Urban Zakapa

It’s Love by Jung Yup

Sunflower by Younha

That’s the way it is by Se O

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/173628552981/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger

It was one heck of a roller coaster ride, right? I think it’s safe to say that my 2017 k drama journey was lit af! Now I’m looking forward for more!

 X,

TinaMae

[lordeboy]

hi dont answer if this is 2 much: but im trying to start going to therapy but im also very embarrassed about my issues/nervous to build that relationship. do you have any tips on How to Use Therapy?

aahhh I'm sorry I took so long to answer this.. I have a really bad history at that myself for whatever reason I always find hard to be honest with them and I lie about doing better when I'm not.. its really just takes time and trust is all, a lot of the time therapists don't work out just if you two don't click and you can't be afraid to say hey this isn't working I think I need to see someone else cos its literally so expensive and I promise your therapist will understand that. you just have to remind yourself that its all for you and you do deserve it and that it is possible and that you do have a life worth living. personally I would always just feel embarrassed to be honest about my struggles and/or that I was letting my therapist down when that just isn't the case at all . I also don't see a therapist any more for a while now because I missed too many appointments without notice so I don't recommend doing that  . if you have goals or specific things you want to work on or talk about I would really recommend going in with a plan otherwise sometimes I would just like talk about my life since I last saw my therapist and nothing really constructive would come from our sessions ., the most useful therapy for me has always been when I was most motivated to get better and also when I didnt have much of a choice either .wishing you the best of luck in finding a therapist and please don't hesitate to message me off anon if u have other questions or anything

[lytefoot]

Neo from the Matrix?

Well, as this is a Harry Potter blog, before I can talk about Neo, I’m gonna have to sort him. And since… actually I’ve got no excuse, I’m gonna go the full @sortinghatchats experience.

So Neo is hard to sort, because he’s… not a very proactive character. It’s hard to say what motivates him or how he operates, because pretty much he does whatever the plot says he ought to. The better-realized a character is, the easier he is to sort.

That said, there are a few defining moves on Neo’s part, and they are all charging, bloody-minded Gryffindor secondary moves. Hanging up on Morpheus and getting into the car with the agents. The “We’re gonna need a lot more guns” scene. Walking out of the Architect’s office. Whatever the f*** happened at the end of the last film. I think that The One is probably going to be a Gryffindor secondary: I will not adapt to the world, the world is going to have to adapt to me.

While his exact motivations are hard to discern, it’s pretty clear that Neo has a loyalist Primary. While I would need to re-watch the films to say for certain, I tend to lean toward a Slytherin primary: he’s loyal to his people, not to abstract others. Charging back into the Matrix to rescue Morpheus, placing everyone on the ship at risk, just screams Slytherin primary to me.

So, Neo. Slytherin/Gryffindor.

Why I like them: Not gonna lie, it’s mostly the clothes.

Why I don’t: Bland bland bland. What did Trinity see in this dude, seriously?

Favorite episode (scene if movie): That one where Dumbledore drops a ton of philosophy on him and asks which pill he wants to take, pretending you can make a free-will choice without understanding.

Favorite season/movie: The Half-Blood Prince

Favorite line: Whoa

Favorite outfit: All of them, seriously. But the longcoat with the flared bottom from the raid on the Ministry was especially great.

OTP: Trinity, I guess? Bony, sweaty grinding and having no idea why she likes him notwithstanding.

Brotp: John the Baptist no wait Dumbledore no wait Morpheus. Yeah, that’s the dude’s name in this one.

Head Canon: Actually, this enormous disaster is the way the reset goes down every time.

Unpopular opinion: The first Matrix movie was actually the weakest Matrix movie.

A wish: An all-female Matrix remake a la Ghostbusters or Oceans Eight would be amazing. Kristen Stewart could play girl!Neo, she managed almost that bland for four Twilight movies. (She’s actually quite a good actress–Keano isn’t bad either–I’m criticizing characters.) Trinity would still be a woman in the remake.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Literally any other remake of the Matrix. Seriously there are plenty of dude-bros who really need to read some philosophy as it is.

5 words to best describe them: Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

My nickname for them: Neo is already a nickname. Did he have a first name? Or do we only ever get Mr. Anderson?

[l0ve-pand0ra]

anime review: boku no hero academia

not gunna lie.. i shit talked the Hell out of my hero. like sooo much shit. i claimed it wasn’t worth the hype that it was lame, bad plot, etc. all b4 actually watching it like a dumbass. oh , how Wrong i was. my hero for anyone new or old to anime is well known and is very big especially for the incredible character design. my hero gets alot of hype and i do thinks its for a reason. shonen anime is probably the most popular and is where the most popular  franchises are born aka naruto, one piece, and dbz. and my hero is at the front running for being this generations leader in shonen. although this is not an anime that i cant find faults in , i can find quite a few but this is one of my favorite animes and is definitely worth the watch, now lets get into it.

this shonen like many is about the underdog who can! when 80% of the population has some sort of super human ability known as a quirk izuku midoriya is in minority 20% of people in superhuman society that do not have a quirk. and with the birth of the superhuman powers came the rise of a new profession, heroism. in which people with quirks get licenses to use them to save people. it’s sorta like how kids now wanna be youtubers well thats what being a hero is in this anime. of course midoriya wants to be a hero just like his idol All Might the #1 hero and pillar of peace.

in order to do that he must get into the top hero school in Japan, U.A Academy. with an acceptance rate of less then 2% (or 0.2% i genuinely cannot remember lol) . midoriya is the classic meek bullied kid being pushed around by childhood friends kaksuki bakugou who is loud, angry, and LOUD, and also wants to be a hero. his quirk is explosions that he creates from his palms with his nitroglycerin like sweat.

one day midoriya gets to meet his idol and the series kicks off. midoriyas journey in getting into U.A, viallian attacks, sports festivals., interships, training camps and more!

now midoriya as a main character grew on me. truth me told the first 5 episodes of my hero are Painful to get through, they made me cringe and midoriya cries about 5 times in one 20 minute episode which is exhausting. personally my favorite type of shonen anime protagonist are himbos , aka dumb sunshines. midoriya is not this he’s actually incrediblely smart but he’s so meek it’s annoying and for a while I thought he was the worst choice for protagonist especially with how amazing the side characters are, but he grows on you and it makes sense why he is the way he is and his character development is good. he grows much more confident and sure of himself. he has that naruto talk-no-jutsu vibe about him lol. but overall he’s good, not my favorite character by anymeans in fact i doubt he’d be in my top 5 in this series.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART ABOUT MY HERO; SIDE CHARACTERS (now i am only a mortal so i will only be talking about characters that stand out and add something to the show aka invisible girl is not mentioned neither is tail boy)

bakugou!!!! listen, he is a piece of work. and honestly it took me till season 2 to actually like and enjoy his character. he’s defently different from the normal angry anime boy because he has Zero reason to be angry which sorta adds to the comedy of the show. hes weathly, has two good parents, hes liked and popular despite being somewhat nasty, and he has a cool ass quirk along with being a prodigy at basically everything. his inferiority complex is what he battles the entire show I do feel like his character development was a little too slow, they could moved it along a little bit and not held onto how angry he was for absolutely no reason but again it kind of adds to the charm his character. his design is so beautiful the blonde hair the red eyes he’s great and hes my second fave character. his anger is toward mostly midoriya toward most people hes just loud but he really has a problem with midoriya. a problem he lowkey made up in his head but overall bakugou is a strong character and a different type of hero, he’s the opposite of all might in everyway.

TODOROKI!!!!!! if you dont know who todoroki is and you somewhat watch anime or see anime content on your social media, you are lying. his character design is super well known and is honestly beautiful he’s literally breath taking. speaking of character design let’s leave the Zuko versus Todoroki discord somewhere else I just don’t care let’s leave it alone they both have scars and daddy issues big whoop! they would literally be bffs move on. now that thats out of the way, todoroki is phenomenal, he’s the more silent type but not tsundere at all. we dont see alot of him in season 1 but mainly in season 2, he’s the son of the #2 hero endeavor who despite being a hero is human garbage! his quirk is half cold half hot. essentially he has two quirks one creating ice from the right side of his body and create flames from his left (the coolest and most versatile quirk in the series) his hatred towards his father makes him unwilling to use his fire side. but he gets over it! todoroki i feel definitely got snubbed , i feel like the dimmed him down because of how easily he could overshadow midoriya and honestly my hero could have easily been about todoroki and his journey discovering what kind of hero he wants to be thats how good he is. I cried 4 times during his battle with midoriya. i love todoroki and he is my fave character of the series.

Kirishima!!!!!! his quirk his hardening, he makes his whole body rock hard. i adore kirishima hes is so wonderful as a side character. we really see him shine in s4 during his work study and i love that especially since he was often pushed to the side. he’s also the first person bakugou acknowledes as an equal and friend. his backstory and motivation is really touching and his character design is so fun !! i love sharp teeth boi’s!!!!! and also i dont know they made him so obsessed with being chivalrous and manly but not a misogynist that is like so hard to do and they did it so well. and the fact that his motivation to keep going is a woman and someone who he respects was also so cool. also his hero custome is so cool. he said full chest out !!

mineta, now this is a character that literally everyone hates and granted he’s not my favorite character not even close but I don’t think he’s that bad. He’s the classic pervert classic girl obsessed character. His quirk is literally detaching sticky balls from his head he’s gross but I don’t mind him like all he does is talk like they have an anime character is a straight up harass women which he does sometimes but I don’t know I just don’t get why hes so hated when there are tons of similar character types like him that are worse that don’t get that much hate like I’m not defending him he’s gross but it’s not terrible and he provides comedic relief which is not always funny but it’s there

kaminari! cute shock boy! hes a more digestible and attractive version of mineta, slightly girl crazy but hes fun! hes also friends with bakugou and his quirk electricity but if he over uses it he gives himself brain damage and turns dumb. again hes more often then not pushed aside but hes funny and his personality is awesome and bright.

Iida, someone im kinda lukewarm about? he’s definitely a major side character and gets his own huge moments and out of all the side characters gets alot of screen time. his quirk is engine legs that make him super fast. hes a stick up his ass class rep but he’s nice and way more likeable after the first few episodes

ochaco.....um. shes ok ig, her quirk is making these float. has a crush on midoriya which is fine even though she looks his she could be his cousin dndjd. idk i dont love her type of preppy i wanna be like my crush character type, hinata does it better. but shes ok again lukewarm about her, i definitely like some of the other female characters better but shes not awful. again most shonen animes use female characters as prop to further the male protagonist character along. idk i jus dont like her personality.

froppy!!!! tsu!!! i adore you ! would d word for you!!! i love her so much shes such a cool character and she doesn’t fit into a box in terms of character type. her quirk is frog meaning she can do everything a frog can do. she’s so level headed and smart and witty she really adds something everytime she comes on. she’s just so chill i really appreciate that.

jiro!!! wonderfully talented queen! her quirk is earphone jack! shes just so again chilled and laid back but also super smart and perceptive. sorta tomboyish which is really cool 2 see a different look for a female character.

yayorozu!!!!! my favorite female characters of the show. her quirk is creation, she makes anything she wants as long as she knows the structure. its dope af. shes so smart and responsible and has an awesome sense of self improvement. i do believe in eating the rich but i still love her. shes a natural leader which i love to see and i think she should have been class rep but as always, men have to be in postions of power ...

tetsutetsu!!!!! the only person in class b with rights. hes kind of like kirishimas counter part, he also has a hardening quirk which makes his body into steele. hes jus so Funny and loud and i wish he was in class 1 a he’d be so good. he brings alot of energy and his fight with kirishima was so fun to watch.

miro, again. someone i shit talked b4 seeing what they were about. i honestly thought miro was going to have some evil agenda against my midoriya but he didn’t he was so good so bright his quirk is so cool it’s permeation meaning he can like walk through walls and stuff he’s so cool!!

tamaki!!!!!!!!! I ADORE HIM! SO MUCH!! hes so shy and insecure but wtf so badass with an amazing quirk called manifest meaning he can manifest on his body the different types of food he eats like he eats octopus he gets tentacle arms which means he basically has like an unlimited number of quirks??!! so dope and his character design is so sexy hes my bf

shinso, now his design is very good he reminds me alot of aizawa, and his quirk is insane and i dont know how people like invisible girl, tail guy, fucking mineta got into the hero course but someone like shinso with a brainwashing quirk didn’t, all someone has to do is answer his question and their under his control, literally so useful. he’s a really hyped up character which I find interesting because in the anime manga people don’t come for me he isn’t really showcased which is really annoying because he’s cool and I get what the hype is about but I just wish we saw more of him I think there is in the actual manga but in the anime he makes like two appearances??

AIZAWA!!! hes so ,, hot, idc him a bun forget it.. im .. his quirk... SO DOPE I MEAN TO BE ABLE TO ERASE SOMEONE QUIRK,,? dope af, his tsundere with more dere then anything hes so sweet and genuinely loves his class So Much, they are his babies. his character is super genuine and its so fun to see him and someone like all might working along side eachother just because they are such different people. aizawa is definitely my third favorite character

all might!!! the big man himself! honestly all might is what superman wishes he was, he is just so Nice and caring and just wants to help people thats all he wants to do, hes the only person deemed worthy by stain. he plays such a huge role in the series in a way a mentor/idol really never has 4 me. i love his other version as well its so well designed to be such a contrast to his muscle form.

stain, the best villain on the show, most complex and truly thought provoking and just all in all they did such a good job with his character design and his motives the stain arc was my favorite in terms of villains because my hero really kind of lacks in villians and sure the league does get better but stain has the most like convincing argument and morals like the concept that he wants to purge the fake heroes of the society away is just fascinating because society in the series so overpopulated with heros and just ugh such a good villain and his quirk,, crazy being to paralyze people by tasting their blood wild

dabi!!! aka todorokis brother (thats not a spoiler jus a fan theory that i wholeheartedly believe) his quirk is  cremation which he basically has such hot fire that it jus turns everything to ash. aka his character design being him with burns, his body most likely can’t fully handle his quirk. hes so hot ugh literally come on emo boy! but really hes a cool villain and works for the League. I wish we saw more of him which I know in season 4 like toward the end he makes a pretty big appearance but after training camp we don’t see him as much as I wish we did and he’s super famous hyped up character again because his design is so dope. he’d be a good anti hero.

shigaraki!!! he’s actually my fourth favorite character.... you guys ever have that one character that one think most likely thinks is hot, but you do. YES HES CRUSTY BUT STILL SEXY GAMER. if i could just give him a skincare routine...His character is one that got probably the most development I mean we see this bratty childish kind of loser in season one in in season for a re-really see a masterminded plan from him and something truly thought out because I feel like a lot of his plans aren’t thought through and this is one of the first ones that I see truly come to fruition the way he wanted to. I really appreciate that from a villain who can grow because he wasn’t a very convincing villian and he had no motivation to do what he was doing and just seem like a dumb kid but like now after watching him grow he’s really coming into his own and for season five I want to see him continue that growth he’s having.

OK IM SO SORRY THE SIDE CHARACTERS TOOK 80 YEARS THERE ARE SO MANY

now onto my critiques these are MY opinions which literally don’t matter the author/artist is incredible and knows what they’re doing and they don’t have to cater to what I want at all this is just how I thought while watching the anime.

I feel like midoriya is a character that can’t really shine on his. I feel like side characters need to be pushed down and snubbed for him to look cool. and  in general I just feel like because of the personality that he has as a main character he kind of struggles to shine unless they dim the light of the other characters because especially in season four midoriya is just constantly pushed and pushed as this end all be all if feels which OK he’s the main character but like was it realistic for some of the things that happen in season four to happen I don’t wanna spoil but if you watched it you know like who defeated who and so on.  at least to me sometimes it’s really obvious that they’re pushing for you to have that midoriya is so cool reaction which just seems forced.

I mention this in some of the side character villains but my hero really doesn’t have like super compelling villains with proper reasoning to what they’re doing or maybe we just haven’t seen that yet in the anime but for me the only good villain the whole series was stain. sure the league of villains gets better but they’re seen as a joke for most of the series at least to me like I didn’t really take them seriously just them minus all for one. I feel like they have these major villains but only see them once especially with all for one we saw him once and then if you watch the my hero movie he’s like there for 2.2 seconds as a major plot point but him physically as a villain but I see him once in action and even so I still think stain is a better villain and notice how I’m not mentioning overhaul in this conversation. there was just something beyond villainious about overhaul especially the child abuse. and again he’s someone who was spoiler alert defeated and in one shot kind of way it only took half the season and if you compare him and his organization to the league their miles ahead of the  League so why did they get defeated first it just kind of didn’t make sense to me.

I was sort of annoyed when the big three got introduced for my side character analysis I praised two out of the three of them and I love the third member she is incredible and a bad ass I just couldn’t write any more about side characters or else this will never end but did we need the introduction of more students when there are so many in class 1a themselves that just don’t get the light of day especially in season four with Todoroki and Bakugou being absent for most of it.

endeavor doesn’t deserve redemption arc that’s what they’re setting up for now i don’t want it he’s gross he’s a domestic abuser he’s a child beater he’s a child neglecter. he’s gross and I don’t understand how this hasn’t been exposed to the public about how the number one hero beat his wife and kids how we just not know that.

I mentioned this with bakugous character review but I feel like his development was just so agonizingly slow for no reason because it wasn’t this deep-rooted issue it was something he misinterpreted and created this fake narrative in his head about midoriya. and even after they have that big fight and acknowledge each other I feel like there’s still something missing which bothers me because there is no reason one it should’ve taken four seasons when Todoroki‘s deep-rooted issues were solved in a couple episodes basically.

 I feel like the series attempted to add romance and then gave up which I think was a smart move just because at the moment there isn’t really a place for it and this is coming from someone who adores romance in anime and I thrive off it but in my hero specifically especially the way they were going to do it with Ocacho was just not it and I really hope they don’t reduce her character even more to just pining over the male protagonist because I’ll be sad because even though I’m not crazy for her I still think she’s a solid character who I don’t want to become just a propeller for character development for the sake of the male protagonist.

things i love!!

the animation is beautiful, it’s so unique and different and just feels really fresh. you can clearly see the movements and can we talk about how well they draw hands? got tier anime hands.

the fighting was the Best ive ever seen in terms of timing, most shonen animes can drag on battles for many many episodes especially dbz, it honestly feels tiring and i love the my hero has the Perfect length to i get all the action and never feel bored or over it. I also enjoy that the anime wasn’t super fillery, and when there was it wasn’t that noticeable that it wasn’t canon.

how everyone is friends really makes me happy especially to see midoriya be so loved and respected by his peers, and everyone views him as an inspiration. to know he was bullied and hated by his class in middle school to in high school having everyone love him enough to make him class rep at first. which I am so glad he stepped down from because it was lowkey cringe that he won djdj.

how rivalry is done is nice because its not a huge major thing, sure everyone is competitive but its friendly and motivating. its not cutthroat.

the dub is really good, ik people shit on dub which is fair. but sometimes the dub hits and there are moments when you wanna watch anime but you have stuff to do so you can’t solely focus on the screen. personally i don’t know why but i had a hard time getting into my hero with sub and had to watch it dub. but if you do like dubbed anime then the my hero dub is solid im sure certain things are said cooler in the sub than dub (aka hqs “dont let me down fellas alright?” jdjdxjxj) but it is a funimation dub which are almost always decent.

the structure of society and the information we get told about heros and the job are soo well done. I feel like I really understand the setting which in fanatasy animes can be somewhat difficult, and everything makes sense and is really normal. they do such a good job making being a hero a normal thing, especially since heroism especially in the western comics is viewed as this big deal that not everyone can do while in my hero its the opposite. i love that.

midoriyas not give up attitude is really endearing, sure most shonen protagonist have this but especially with midoriya being the Biggest underdog to the point where he ruins his body over and over again and still keeps moving. a moments i genuinely loved midoriyas character and fell for him completely was during training camp, when he fight smuscular and still keeps moving despite being Ruined. it’s my favorite right after stains.

i love seeing them train! ik the actual villains are exciting but things like training camp and the creating special moves moment were my favorite.

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Overall;

i love my hero, it’s quickly made its way to my favorite animes of all time, the characters, plot, and motivations are so good. it’s an anime that makes me feel like I can do anything i set my mind to. I enjoy the fact that it’s an anime that like I feel like there can be a discussion and not one over about whether it’s good or bad because it’s definitely good but more in how things are done the reason things were done how things could’ve been done differently there’s a lot to talk about and I feel like this is a very unique thing because I think with a lot of anime everything is so set in stone and if things were done a different way and it wouldn’t work with my hero there are so many ways things would go which I love. and I also love that there are things that I don’t like about it or that I’m not crazy about and for some reason that makes me like it even more because I feel like again back to the discussion point there’s so much to talk about especially on like Reddit where you can see what other people think and if you’re wrong if you’re right it doesn’t really matter because I think today this is just anime! give it a watch if you are curious you wont regret it!