#while also making everything before that cliffhanger as angst-ridden as possible

[therealjammy]

Part 1 literally has three more scenes for me to write, and it’s going as slowly as you might imagine

Slower than snail mail, if you will

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Vol 5 episode 11: THIS IS IT-I think(spoilers).

OOF-one hell of a party last night, my brother’s friend had this SUPER intense basil vodka that was liquid intensity-BUT FUCK THAT SHIT-onto the Micksterecap! And you know how it’ll start folks-

NOTHING HAPPENING! Its cool, after last episode I have accepted the pacing as a brilliant use of slow burn. Nice night though, look at that big ass, not disintegrated moon!

1:44

HAHAHAHA-oh man, they both be sharing the same “This is fucking bull shit” face. Oh I be they’ll get along like aces when Weiss finally proposes to Yang.

1:51

Ruby: Oh, shit, look at that thing!

Ruby: That is one nice ass slightly leaning tower!

Qrow: Ruby quit possibly foreshadowing and get a move on, we’re meeting Leo to what is TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY not a trap.

Yang: Man, out of ALL the guys on your side do turn evil, lucky it wasn’t one of the SMART ones right?

Qrow: Well...lucky by MY perspective.

They all then slowly walk INTO-

2:24

...a...trial room? Or the entrance to a trial room? *GASP*-is my RWBY/Ace Attorney fan fiction FINALLY coming to fruition?! AND YES-Qrow would be the Phoenix.

2:33 Leo: Thank you for...uh...coming.

Qrow: Oh god dammit Leo, WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO LIE?!

Weiss: I take back EVERYTHING I ever said bad about you Ozpin in season 1, this guy is WAY dumber!

Oz: Water under the bridge.

2:41

Qrow: Eh, you know what they say, the more the merrier.

DAMN-hitting the title THAT early in? My “Shit going down”-ameter is going off the CHARTS!

2:42 Aw man, LOOK AT HOW COOL HIS WEAPON IS! He better use it before Qrow logically murders him and/or he returns to the light side of the force.

Leo: Why...did you bring your weapons?

Qrow:Leo...you are literally wearing a weapon right  now. As am I, like I ALWAYS do, as the rest of them now do because they know that this world is a scary nightmare factory.

Leo: Yeah...I am DUMB!

2:54 Yang: Hey, what’s that shit?

2:59

Yang: DAMMIT MOM-17 years you’ve been avoiding me, only NOW do I see you regularly, AND ITS WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL US!

Raven: I AM TRANSFORMED!

And then she turns BACK into a human, all while telling Leo his nepharious misdeeds movie style, utterly ruining Leo’s all ready terrible plan. You’re fault for trusting scary teleporting bird ladies dude!

 4:38 Ruby being the cinnamon roll she is TRIES to get Raven to rejoin the light side  and quash her defeatist attitude. 

AND IN PREDICTABLE BITCH RAVEN FASHION-

4:51 Raven: You sound, just like your mother.

And she says it in a REALLY nasty way too, like you just wanna STAB this bitch. And OF COURSE-

She opens a portal that...shoots a fireball?

4:56

Oooooooooooooh, right right right, Cinder, that makes  more sense. Was thinking her portals worked glyph style or something. ALSO-was Cinder just waiting all this time for a portal to open and then shoot a fireball through it? I hope she was sitting down, this took a while to plan.

5:05

Shit, the whole GANG is here. Ah well I bet there will be NO-ONE else joining-

-AND HERE COMES DEATHVOICE-hoo boy. We THEN see the whitefangbangers-

5:44 Setting up bombs ALL around the tower that was foreshadowed earlier! Preeeeeeeeeeeeeetty obvious Rooster Teeth.

Look at him, he’s like a kid with a new toy! A murderous, murderous new toy.

6:19 OH SHIT-it turns out that Leo got them into the fucking VYTAL festival, he’s been a part of this since season ONE! Fuckin’ cowardly ass lion.

6:49 DOUBLE SHIT-he gave Salem the info about the local huntresses and huntsmen and had them KILLED! FUCK THIS PUSSY UP...wait, pussy like pussy cat, not the other way.

But enough about that-THE DRAMA BOMB WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR-

7:03

LOGICALLY ANGST RIDDEN JAUNE! I mean I’m PRETTY SURE its not gonna be him who kill Cinder but...wouldn’t that be wonderful?

He then gives one FUCK of a speech...which Cinder responds with...hoo boy-

7:38

Cinder:...who are you again?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH-that is just MEAN! MURDER HER!

...okay I still want her dead, but DAMN does that flame sword look COOL!

AND THEN WE GET OUR MATCHES-Jaune vs Cinder(PLEASE don’t die), Emerald vs Ruby(weird match-up, not much there thematically, but still cool) Mercury vs Yang(BREAK HIS ARMS) Qrow versus Raven(duh), Hazel versus Renora, and Weiss versus Vernal who TOTALLY doesn’t need to use her powers on her, right Raven? Fuckin’ bitch.

8:38

BATTLE CLASH! Quick, hit the right buttons!

9:32 Oooooooooooooooooooooh, Oz is maaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! ALSO...is Leo a lion faunus? NEAT!

OH SHIT-his weapon is a...compass? I dunno, I’m liveblogging!

ZOOP-nevermind, its an awesome matter making deally bop!

AND THE REVEAL-that he is Ozpin(not quite) and Oscar admittedly gets some blows on him, good for him! GRANTED Leo is a total broken wuss-BUT STILL!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut  that turns out to be what he WANTS as he can then deliver him to Salem...HOOOOOOOOOO boy, best get to fightin’ Oscar ol’ boy!

CUT TO-

11:47

Weiss versus Vernal, who sports two LOVELY throwing blades, nice!

Weiss then zigs away, puts up an ice wall-

ATTEMPTS TO SUMMON THE KNIGHT-

12:00

OOH-but Vernal dispels it with a power Slash! SEE-Raven, she DID need to use her powers! Seriously, how’d you forget that this girl could make bad-ass knights out of thin air, of ANY size!

12:11 Vernal: Don’t think I’m going to let you take the EASY way out!

Weiss: Should you really talk, little miss magic pants?

Vernal: TASTE MY BLADE!

Holy shit so much battling-CUT TO-

12:23

Cinder bullying Jaune in the background, while Ruby fights Aladdin!

After Emerald professes her obvious love for Cinder-

She puts the WHAMMY Rwby with her mind powers-

She GOES IN FOR THE KILL-making Ruby shoot a bullet WHICH-

-freaking NARROWLY goes by Weiss! Just think, our ship-charts would’ve been altered YET AGAIN by that bullet. I remember when Phyrra died, oh the sadness.

OH-her blades also shoot! ALSO-look at Vernal’s smug ass face there, bitch.

OH SHIT-they were laser blades! Guess she didn’t use her powers-BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY-we got CRACKLE YO! SHIT IS GETTING CRAZY!

CUUUUUUUUUUUUU TO-

Jaune fighting not only Cinder-BUT ALSO-his demons!

13:14 Jaune: STOP MESSING WITH ME!

Me: NO NO NO dude, poor choice of words!

13:21

Oh shit shit SHIT-she doubled the attack power, ATTACK POWER IS DOUBLED!

The two then attempt a battle clash, Ruby sees it and goes all-

13:33 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALSO-there are your stupid silver eyes you impatient FUCKS! Yeah you know who you are, and you AREN’T critics, your just whiney fans! Don’t be RWDE y’all.

OOH-but Emerald knocks her out mid Avatar state! Hope that doesn’t block her off from her powers for most of the season, only to learn later that she WASN’T blocked off from her powers the whole time.

13:40

It DOES however temporarily put her in pain! HAHA-fuck you Cinder! Jaune of course ain’t takin’ NO slack on this by the way-

DAMN-straight up GRAZED son! Logically she...she wasn’t happy about that.

See?

Jaune: I always wanted a woman to stomp on me, BUT NOT YOU!

HURRY JAUNE-friggin’ unlock your obvious semblance and PULL THAT SWORD TOWARD YOU!

Cinder then berates the kid, WHILE(and I’m NOT judging him for this, heat of battle) stupidly tells her that the OTHER fighters are more important than him. ALSO-

14:30

Hazel fights weaponless apparently! Neat!

What happens next...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY-

14:50

UGH-using Phyrra’s weapon?! That’s LOW! But seriously-SHE THROWS THAT SHIT-

15:02 RIGHT INTO WEISS...also forgive me for the next line-

Jaune; WHY DO ALL MY 17 YEAR OLD NOT-GIRLFRIENDS KEEP BREAKING ON ME?!

SO YEAH-I am...PRETTY sure its a flesh wound but...HOLY FUCKING SHIT that’s a cliffhanger! CHOP OFF HER HEAD JONNY BOY!

Fuckin’ hell, the action was admittedly not as good as last weak but this was still one HELL of an episode! See you next week folks ON MICKSTERECAPS!