#which you'd think should go without saying but yknow

[profictionprince]

While I don't think that anyone needs to have like... a Deep Reason™ for liking the content they like, it's especially funny to me when I'm accused of being a predator or whatever in response to that one post because I'm one of those people who like, projects myself in the "victim" role (for lack of a better way to put it) if I'm reading fucked up smut or whatever because I'm one of those people who internalized and sexualized fucked up things that have actually happened to me.

[ohbo-ohno]

A small flower that sprays spores you happen to inhale in an attic

From the prompt list thing for Price x Reader? Please?

1k game here - no more please!

yknow im not really a big fan of sex pollen, but i gave it my best shot <3

2k of sex pollen smut with price! usual dubcon stuff because of sex pollen, but you and price are married so you're totally down <3 this is just pwp

"Hey, honey?" You call down the ladder, turning your find over in your hands.

"Yeah?" Price calls back, grunting as he drops a box on the floor below you.

You'd only felt bad for a few moments having him do all the heavy lifting, but you're perfectly content to dig through the contents of the attic. Neither of you had realized quite how full it was when you bought the house, but you'd much rather spend your day digging through old boxes than carrying them in from your moving van.

"Come take a look at this for me!"

You turn the little jar over again, shaking it just a bit and making the little flowers inside shift around the bottom. They're quite pretty - a bright pattern of red and pink, with a bit of black at the center - but you've never seen them before.

"What is it, love?" John asks from over your shoulder. You scooch closer to where he's propped on top of the ladder to the attic, forearms resting against the floor.

"Have you ever seen these before?" You pass the jar off to him, folding your legs beneath you and admiring John's shirtless form. He's a little red in the face, a lot sweaty, and you can't help but think about taking a short break from moving in...

"Hmm..." he turns the jar in his hand, just like you had. "I've never seen them before. Not too surprised, though." He shoots you a grin, offering the jar back. "Never did have much of a green thumb."

You take another peek, then pop the top of the jar open. The flowers are much more vibrant without the grime of the glass covering them, and you tip a few into your palm.

"Look," you say, offering your palm out to John. "They're so pretty!"

He takes a deep breath, leans a little further into the attic. "Not as pretty as you, love."

You roll your eyes, but can't resist the small smile. "That one was bad, even for you."

His grin is cheesy, his whole expression lovesick as he rests his chin on his folded arms. "I only speak the truth, love."

You can't help but giggle, tucking one of the flowers behind his ear. It's one of the only ones with a stem long enough to fit, and it looks quite silly next to his sweaty face and thick beard.

"There," you pat his cheek, shifting away to go back to your boxes. "Now you're as pretty as me."

"Now that will never be true."

———————————————————————

You don't see John again until that evening, when you're in the shower.

He'd spent the day downstairs, moving all your furniture about with his classic rock playing loud. You'd spent the day upstairs, finishing up your work in the attic and getting your bedroom and bathroom ready for the night while trying to drown his music out with the likes of ABBA and Madonna.

You'd brushed by each other a few times - playful dances, a bit of heavy petting over lunch - but had worked through what should have been dinner. As you wash the conditioner from your hair, you decide you should suggest pizza in bed for tonight.

You're humming to yourself when the shower door opens behind you, your husband already naked.

You smile when you get over the slight scare. "Hey, honey. Gonna join me?"

That's when you notice that something is a bit... off. He's naked but for the little flower behind his ear, which makes it easy to see how flushed his entire body is, and how obscenely hard his cock is between his legs.

"Oh," you can't help but blush a bit, turning to face him. "Feeling a little desperate, John?"

You mean it as a tease, but the sound that rips from your husband's throat is nearly broken. He's tearing into the shower before he bothers to answer, shoving you back into the slick tile and pressing every inch of skin he can against yours.

"John!" You gasp, giggling a bit when one of his rough hands jerks your thigh up and around his waist, the hot length of him resting between your folds. "Slow down, sweetheart, there's no rush."

He drops his forehead to yours, and you start to really see for the first time how needy he is. His face is almost tomato red under his whiskers, and his eyes are screwed up tight, almost like he's in pain.

"John?" You ask tentatively, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other cupping his warm cheek. "Are you alright, love?"

He shudders against you, only growing more tense. "Yeah, yeah love. Just... need to be inside of you, need it so fuckin' badly."

There's an edge to his voice you rarely hear, and there's a part of you that sparks in confusion, a bit of concern. But you arch your back for him, hike your leg a bit higher on his hip to truly spread yourself. "It's alright," you reassure, petting his cheek. "I'm always here for you, John, you know that."

He pushes into you too quickly, your body far from prepared to take something the size of him. But the slight pain melts into pleasure quickly as you melt in your husbands arms.

He's rough, rougher than he almost ever is, and you know your back will be bruised come morning. Every thrust in forces a loud gasp from you as you try desperately to breathe around his pace, your breaths syncing with his.

"Ugh," he moans against your neck, head dropping. "You feel... so good, so fucking good, love."

"You feel good too, John," you just barely manage to gasp out, nails digging deep into the muscle of his shoulders. "So- so big."

His moan is carnal, a rumbling sound that you can feel in your toes, and his thrusts somehow gets even rougher. The sound of his thighs slapping against yours is loud in the quiet bathroom, the sound of water dampened where it sprays against his back.

"God, you're like a vice," he hisses. "Tightest cunt, so good for me... perfect for me, just for me."

"Yes, yes," you chant, head resting against the tile. You rarely come from penetration alone, but hearing John's pleasure is enough for you to feel satisfied already. "Just for you, love, promise."

That's what finally pushes him over - he latches onto your neck, sucking a bruise there as he buries himself to the hilt, grinding himself as deep as he can go while moaning into your throat. You feel the spurts of his come inside of you, familiar after all these years together.

You're both panting in the aftermath, caught up in the pleasure.

You only realize he's still hard when he stands up fully, gripping your other thigh and helping you wrap it around his waist so he's fully carrying you.

"John?" You ask, shifting against him and causing you both to moan. "You're still...?"

He groans low in his chest as he carries you out of the room, confidently striding towards the bed. "I know."

"How... did you take something?"

He makes an offended sound, dropping you onto the bed and following you quickly enough after to keep himself inside of you. "Course not. Never needed any help in that department, not with you."

You're flattered, of course, but can't help but feel a little disconcerted by the fact that you can feel his come even though he's completely hard still.

"Alright," you say a moment later, tucking your legs as far up on his sides as they'll go.

He lifts his head just far enough for you to see him cock an eyebrow. "Alright?"

"Let's see how long you last, Captain."

You can feel his cock twitch inside of you, and he swallows your giggle with a kiss. He doesn't even bother to tease you back - to your slight disappointment - and instead begins to work his hips out of you, a slow drag out and a harsh push back in.

You both moan in sync, loud in the silence of your bedroom. You can't help but arch beneath him, trying to open yourself up more. As he starts to hit his stride, your knees tucked over his arms and pushed as high as he can without you pulling something, you feel the way the base of his cock rubs against your clit on every thrust in.

"Jo-John," you gasp, clinging desperately to his shoulders. "That feels so good, so good, love... oh, fuck, honey!"

"Yeah?" He grunts, face pulled tight above you. "Feel good? Gonna come for me, love? C'mon, attagirl, squeeze me tight... fuck, just like that, yes..."

He manages to get off much faster this time, but that doesn't seem to dull the intensity of his orgasm at all. He's still vocal, throwing his head back and letting all of his sounds out for you to hear. You manage to work your hips in just the right way to grind yourself against his flesh, and quickly find your own peak beneath him.

And still, it's not enough. You feel him working himself slowly against you minutes later, when you come down from your high.

You can't help but whine, your pussy oversensitive so soon after your orgasm. John doesn't pull out, though. He leans down enough to pepper kisses over your face, and begins to slowly fuck you again.

"J-John," you weekly protest, channel squeezing tight around him against your own will and drawing moans from both of you. "T-too sensitive, honey, I need a break."

"'m sorry," he pants against you, lips pressed to your cheek and leaving a small trail of spit. "I can't... I can't, love, need you too badly.

"John..."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry..." He sounds almost choked up above you, his voice cracked as he starts to pound into you faster and faster, forcing your legs higher. "I need to fuck you, love. Need to come. Can't... can't go another minute without- fuck, without you."

"You have me," you try, unable to keep yourself from trying to squirm away.

He snarls suddenly, forcing your legs so far back that your knees nearly brush the mattress. "Not yet," he spits, more beast than man above you. "Haven't... haven't given you enough."

You can only keen loudly, spine arching as the aftershocks of pain slowly morph themselves into pleasure.

Every thrust drags against oversensitive nerves, the clap of skin almost deafening. He brushes against your clit with just enough force to keep you on edge, keep you whining and moaning beneath him.

"Close," he pants, battering into you. "Just.. just a little... fuck, so close..."

"Come, John, please!"

Your own begging is what pushes him over the edge, your hole milking him for all that he's worth, even as you remain on edge.

He finally lets your legs fall from his arms, and you lightly shove at him until he falls away from you.

The both of you are panting as you lay side by side, staring up at your ceiling fan.

"Holy shit," you whisper, minutes or hours later. Your nerves feel like they're on fire, buzzing beneath your skin.

"Ditto," John echoes, sounding equally as rattled as you. It's almost impossible not to giggle at your poor husband sounding so shocked at his own stamina, and you roll into him so you can bury your face in his chest.

"What?" He asks, smile audible already. You don't even have to say anything for him to laugh too, your happiness always contagious. Soon enough he's wrapped himself around you, tucking his face safely into your hair and hiding his smile.

You fall asleep just like that, thoughts of pizza in bed long forgotten, and wonder if you can convince John to take whatever it is he must've had again sometime soon.

[rulerzreachf4n7]

The main problem with HH/HB isn't just the writing, Viv and her fetishes/favoritisms, world building, character designs, and all the controversial shit, it's the fucking concept of both shows

Sorry if I'm being vague at first I'll try to explain it the best I can

This is mainly targeted twords Helluva Boss but I'll also include some Hazbin in it too

So, y'all know the concept of Helluva Boss right? Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona run a business where they kill sinners rivals in Earth, right? Well if you just think about that you'd know how fucking stupid of an idea it is for a show

I'm just convinced viv one day was like

"Hey! I should make a show with a bunch of horny demons who kill people in real life!"

Without putting even AN INCH consideration through it, she just made the show and was soooo surprised with all the backlash of it

The whole point of I.M.P is fucking pointless, there no point of getting revenge on people in real life cause when they die...omg, THEY'LL GO TO FUCKING HELL, STUCK WITH THE SAME PERSON WHO HATES THEM FOR ALL OF ETERNITY

And sure, there is like a 0.001 percent chance they'll go to heaven, but may I remind you they also share the same hell as Hazbin, and the angels can visit hell, so it wouldn't make a fucking difference cause idk they'd probably piss off the person who paid the I.M.Ps that killed them

As for Hazbin, the plot isn't bad, for once Viv has a good idea, but that doesn't mean it's not shitty, from the first episode it was doomed, this mainly has to do with the extermination

So as y'all know in Hazbin in the first episode Charlie explains how there's an overpopulation so evey year the angels just like fucking kill then all, that's where it doesn't make sense!!!

First of all, how can there be an overpopulation since hell (or I guess pentagram) is very, VERY HUGE, what's the need for an extermination?? Besides when Charlie sang Happy day in hell there where like a shit ton of background characters already getting murdered, hell can literally handle their own overpopulation 💀💀

Second of all, they're already dead, WHERE DO YOU GO AFTER YOUR DEAD?? In the finale where Sir Pentious (sorry if I spelt his name wrong lol) got killed by Adam, he was shown ending up in Heaven with Sera and Emily, so if that's what happens when you get killed, it basically means EVEN IF SINNERS GET KILLED THEY'LL STILL AND UP IN HELL AGAIN, VIV, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Third of all is how people are born into hell, it's not really deep as people make it to be, since there's like a lot sex they could just like...yknow?

The whole extermination wasn't thought through and only used as a poorly written plot point for the show, and not to mention they never said why Adam moved up the extermination, which makes me pissed off given they don't even bring up again and probably won't cause Adam is dead (thank you Nifty 😭😭)

Aaanyways that's all I gotta say, I might update this if I forgot anything lol

[fizziefactory]

How did you think up each of your concept for your Robo Fizz OCs? Like go in-depth about the choices you made, why you chose their names and such. I want details.

Questions about the fizzies || Accpeting

Oh that's a juicy one… and lengthy too, let's see where we can start. This got so fucking long holy shit pick your fav section idk I'm so rambly-

The very first muse I made was Factory Fizzy, or FF-8842. I can say right away that their factory name, which is the only name they go by, doesn't actually mean anything! I just think it's cute, I really love the number 8. In hindsight, 42 I can make the argument being a subconscious nod to “A hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy”, a book series I loved when I was a teen. 42 is the meaning of life, and FF-8842 is struggling to find the meaning of their life.

But most of all, Four-Two, or Fou-Too, just sounds cute.

They were originally made for a comic that I wanted to draw for the song The Fine Print by The Stupendium, sometimes I just get brainworms when I fixate, and I end up drawing lengthy comics to songs I like. I needed a fizzy to work in the Fizzy Factory for the song, so I made a fizzy with a simple design, clothes with no dyes, “horns” without fabric on them, basically a fizzy that didn't need to catch anyone's eye, nor drain resources and money. This is also why while they're quite strong, they're only 4’1”.

Now I play a lot on the idea of a fizzy that was created with a strong sense of self, of sentience, as soon as they were created. Usually it takes my fizzies a few years to reach sentience, if they ever do… but FF-8842 is a “defect” always at the verge of being scrapped for being too much of a free-thinker. This definitely evolved from the original comic, where they clearly do not possess the same distant look in their eyes as the other fizzies.

The second fizzy I made was The Manager. His name was originally just Office Fizzy, which I later weaved into his backstory instead. I actually asked my friends how I should refer to him, and they liked the simplicity of The Manager, and I think while it might be a little bit of a mouthful, it's oozes just what kind of person he is.

He is the Manager. He makes sure this clock is turned up and ticking.

For the comic, he was originally more of a guide for new fizzies, and of course the one doing the singing/talking in the comic, and if you want a good idea of what his inspiration was, look no further than the song itself. It's all there. Eventually Manager evolved into something different. He became, well, less someone handling the papers in an office, and more of an actual… manager, of the factory.

The idea to make it all Entirely fizzy-made tickled me, and so I tweaked his story a little bit, having him climb from an “Office Fizzy”, to being where he is now, so successful he even managed to alter his own design, which no fizzy of his model has done before… he even owns his own fizzies. Has businesses outside the factory (not to Mammon's knowledge but yknow-) making big cash and giving into greed because of the influence from Mammon, by simply being made in his image, and giving into it. A success story for the ages. He is a control-freak at this point though, to make sure he doesn't lose it all.

I also gave him an Australian accent because he's spending way too much time around Mammon. That's just a fun fact ♡ Also all the green and gold in his clothes also point to how closely he works with Mammon.

Mortis had his name change many times. He went from simply Undertaker, and I considered Morty Briefly… but decided against it real quick. I went with Mort for a while… but I just loved the way Mortis sounded. I know it's wormed into my brain because of Faith (don't ask me about the plot of that game I don't Know) but Mortis just felt Right. Mortis is the Latin noun for Death.

Mortis also came from The Fine Print. There's a section of the song that goes like this;

“If you'd rather drop dead, that's fine

But you know that dropping down dead bears a fine

So you do your job and I'll do mine

I gotta meet a six-foot deep bottom line”

And I don't know, it just fired off my creative juices like… what if there was an undertaker fizzy? That'd be so cool… and so out there xhdbbd. I have always had a complicated relationship with death, so I enjoy writing morticians because of their various different ways to approach the subject. Mortis started off approaching it quite casually… It's hell after all, but the more I wrote him?

I got to put myself in his head and how he was thinking, his life-philosophy, how me having placed him in Wrath affected his outlook, and now he's become almost philosophical, now he's holding sermons in Satan's name and I believe he puts his own beliefs into them… and despite having such a sad job, and how he has to face such misery and grief every day… It's somehow helped him become the most at peace fizzy I've got. Because he understands life and death better than any other fizzy, while also getting to be on his own and expressing and exploring himself best a fizzy can.

He is heavily inspired by the Undertaker in The Backwater Gospel, who is quiet and non-threatening, but his mere presence is enough to send you into a panic.

Why is he here?

Who’s going to die?

He's also heavily inspired by the YouTube channel Little Bubby Child since he's from Wrath and all. I will meme on him til the day I die.

Mizzy got her name from Maid Fizzy, you smoosh the names together you get Mizzy. For a while I also had Dolly as a suggestion, but it didn't really stick with my followers. So it's kinda become a nickname certain fizzies who knew her before the memory-wipe call her, like Thizzy and The Manager.

Mizzy was always meant to be a companion bot, I wanted a fizzy that actually did what the commercial advertised the fizzies to do. I made her a maid because I wanted to play around with her owner being a weeb, and I simply wanted to dress her up in cute little outfits that I knew a guy with his own companion bot would want to see. In time the idea of her once having belonged to Burnie Burnz, Fizzarolli's stalker, wormed itself into my brain… and the misery tripled from there.

I think it was because I wrote out a scene with a friend where I played him briefly before he got eaten by a sandworm (shoutout Beetlejuice the OG), and I recalled his line regarding the fizzies not getting him off right. I wondered what kind of shit a disgusting guy like him would even do to a fizzy if he planned on murdering Fizzarolli, so I, unfortunately, made Mizzy his fizzybot. The only solution was the memory wipe… and that's why she's so head empty most of the time. Her programming is protecting her from remnants at all times.

I really wanted to show how messed up the companion bot situation is with Mizzy, which is why she's been used sparingly. I love a good healing story though, so I've tried to bring her in more where she gets to regain her power and independence and tweaked her current owner to be a little less awful to give her a break… but still awful nonetheless. She's always ripe for fizzy-adoption.

Ginger has changed so much from the original concept. At first she was named Fuzzy, for a fussy fizzy. Then later when I switched up his design, opting for the red design in the commercial I thought looked neat as hell, I decided to go with Ginger instead. It just sounded right, all things considered.

Ginger started out as Fuzzy, who was heavily inspired by Sun from FNAF to be perfectly honest. I have 3 Sun OCs very near and dear to my heart, and I love writing anxious nervous wrecks… so that's what I did for a while. Eventually I leaned into him snapping more and more, running out of patience like Brandon Roger's Mom character, and as I wrote them in IC group chats, I realised more and more that Fuzzy was actually rarely if ever anxious… they were mostly stressed and Irritated.

And I was never happy with the original design… it was cute but didn't spark joy, it felt hasty. I spotted the design in the commercial I liked the most, and I remade everything.

Now Ginger is Something Else Entirely.

She's tired, he's pissed, he's at his wits end, and they're Dangerous if you look at them wrong. They became a Mama Bear, while also something of a Big Sister character… grumpy and with a resting bitch face… but a heart of gold below the surface.

I wanted to explore the fizzy for the kids and teens, the meaningless chores that fizzies have to perform for demons like carrying bags and making dinner and other kinds of butler-stuff, and just how straining tiring and meaningless it all felt, all while Also being a companion for the adults.. Despite Mizzy, Ginger has turned into the fizzy that's the absolute most disappointed with their lot in life, and hates Fizzarolli just about as much as Pinwheel. This is also why they are siblings in the human AU, they've got much in common.

Thizzy is simple. Therapist+Fizzy=Thizzy. Briefly he was called Shrinky, but I left it instead as a nickname he got from Doc, which he absolutely despises, because I could Not take it seriously.

Thizzy was taken from the commercial, I interpreted his neutral face as one of absolute indifference, and I figured this is Hell and this is Mammon so… originally he was meant to not give a rat’s ass about anybody, especially not his patients. However while writing my muse page for this blog, I had him write out short “profiles” for the other fizzies… and I thought Hey… what if he checked up on the fizzies too?

Now he's part of a larger process that The Manager runs where he checks up on the fizzies on the regular to make sure they're doing fine physically but also mentally (at least well enough to perform their tasks), and in time I found that Thizzy actually did care…

He cared too much, which is why he tried to not care at all. Because the alternative was to let it all get to you… Despite not wanting to get involved, it's in his programming to do so, and he's got a good heart, albeit only metaphorically.

Now he's just so tired... and working in the Sloth Ring doesn't help this.

His relationship with Doc is the result of when he was still in his early years and just performed his tasks as he was programmed to do… and now he's stuck in this unhealthy toxic relationship where he has to make sure Doc is happy all the damn time. Luckily for him, he mostly is. At least as a robot-

Finally, Doc! Doc is easy enough, he's Doc because he's a doctor! I did consider Doccy but it reminded me of. Another word, so I backtracked bxhrhe. I worried it'd be too generic but… it just fits. He's Doc. Nothing else fits like Doc does ♡

I just stared at the screen when Doctor Fizzy came on. Those colours. That Forced Grin, those soft little cheeks… that blank fucking stare. This was an unhinged doctor-character and I needed him in my life. My cringe, emo, deviantart-browsing, gore-loving, Higurashi-watching, Hatoful Boyfriend-playing, problematic teenage-self... they needed this.

He hasn't actually changed much at all. He was always inspired by those crazy doctors you see in anime, games and horror movies. Their silly giggles and the over the top surgeries and bone saws and all that stuff.. he's my horror and gore-character, for when I want to write a bit of this and that, which I do find a lot of fun.

I don't know what really made him as flamboyant as he is… I think just the nature of him being a crazy doctor character while also being a sex bot… and when I discovered the Bubblegum Coquette aesthetic- and in time I developed his relationship with Thizzy. His clinginess opened up the idea of how he's probably not got a lot of connections because of how “intense” he is, and while he's not quite as sentient as the rest… he's getting there, every time he reflects on how lonely he is.

His only way to connect with others was by keeping body parts of whomever he operated on, that was All he was ever able to get his hands on fair and square(?).. and he started getting unhealthily attached to those parts. Now he actively seeks them out because it's the only form of love and attachment he understands so far, and if he gets attached to people to a strong degree, there's a chance it turns into love/obsession, which will push him further into sentience, and so on now we have a yandere too.

Cringe.

But at least I'm free.

He's the perfect example of when a robot is Not taught how humans and emotions actually work, and now he's already registered what he knows as truths and facts.

Imma not cover Imposter too much cus really I just got inspired by that That's not my neighbour-song before I even knew there was a game, and I wanted to make a strong fizzy for quite some time, that could work as Manager's bodyguard to make him pose more of a threat than he did on his own. I loved the black and white aesthetic because of absolute neutrality, and my fiance mentioned that it looked like a pierrot and I was like Hell yeah accidental pierrot let's go-

They obviously has a bit of Ennard from FNAF in them, or the Mimic or whatever that new enemy is called... I think it's a pretty natural robot-plot device at this point. It is a fun bot to play in group chats where I can pretend to be my other muses and wait and see how long it takes my fellow muns to realise there's a question mark at the end of the tupper bot's username. It communicates through motions and clicks, sign language, when it isn't disguised, and is very mischievous and a troublemaker.. I dunno, the inspiration is "gremlin".

[kozykricket]

ANIMAL WELL THOUGHTS (+ bigmode dunkey publishing thoughts)

so, animal well came out, and... i remember hearing about it sometime around february or march, but i hadnt realized bigmode was publishing it lol i havent played it yet, but i definitely plan to heres what i know: its a very funky and mysterious game, surreal kinda vibes. if you liked rain world for being a metroidvania but then also deciding to do weird shit with its world and go founky, but you maybe wished it was more about weird funky stuff, then... maybe you'll be interested! ive heard from furyforged, a yter i watch, that through following its development it has given him noita vibes in terms of the mysteries afoot in the world, and how there were even ARGs for stuff like the release date... but its supposedly all meant to be reasonably solvable without the internet? its supposedly quite surreal, and ive heard nothing but "oh my god this is literally one of the best games ever" even from people who i... really thought wouldnt give a darn about a quirky indie game which helps with the segue into the bigmode in the room

so, i honestly forgot dunkey did that whole thing with starting a game publishing thing... and now everyones talking about "wow, the first game that he publishes comes out and its a 10/10 GOTY contender according to most outlets. after we all laughed at him for saying i will only publish good videogames" and i think that no matter how you spin it, that is definitely quite hilarious, and huge congrats to the devs of animal well for having such positive reception. but it got me thinking about ... well, a game being published by someone well known for their career before publishing. by an influencer, content creator, whatever you'd call dunkey, and... like yeah, i suppose the duty of a publisher IS to help spread the word of the game and do the marketing and stuff, so the devs themselves dont have to, but it must be kinda strange to have people not just talking about your game for its pure contents, but talking a lot about DUNKEY and like. HIS achievements. i guess i just... don't want that to overshadow the game itself? i mean, it probably wont since... yknow, people separate publishers and games pretty darn easily. its what publishers do: they give games attention. dunkey said what he wanted to do with bigmode was to like, invest in games that he BELIEVES in and that he thinks SHOULD get more attention instead of just being yet another indie swept under the rug... which is great, because theres too many good indie games that go underappreciated just bc they dont get enough good marketing. it just kinda feels sad being reminded of that though but like, i just hope it isnt confined to being "the dunkey owned publisher, no way funny haha man" out of... yknow. well. i dont want games published by bigmode to be overshadowed by him. ...probably a silly worry though. again people dont say stuff like "oh yeah i really love [game publisher] they did so great" they talk about the devs when it comes to the contents of the game. the reason people are talkin about dunkey is probably because this is the FIRST game for bigmode to publish, and ... that he proved himself right, at least so far i mainly just ... think its a bit of a unique experience, and it makes me simultaneously happy for animal well, and bummed out for other small indie games, knowing that ultimately there are games of this quality coming out and flying under peoples radar just bc they dont get the resources and marketing of a good publisher

edit: cleaned up post

[xxthefairywitchxx]

Run While You Can (Please Stay With Me)

AKA 6,088 words and 32,143 characters of pure self indulgent selfship nonsense with no italics or bold because it was written in notepad and I was bullied into posting it

Running reports and new plans by his father was never really That fun, but Rio Ranger supposes it wasn't supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be informative, and maybe he'd get a little praise for listening so well to orders? He sighed, shaking his head as he entered the main lobby. He had to admit, he was thankful to get let out of the meeting early. It was all just boring repeats of the last one.

To his surprise, when he looked up he saw someone else in there, the only human he didn't mind seeing too…Even if seeing her right now did make his face warm slightly, considering the state he'd seen her in this morning…Damp hair, skin glistening, a shirt which barely covered her breasts, and tiny shorts that put his miniskirt to shame in revealing length.

He let his eyes roam over her form from the doorway. She was wearing the spare clothes he brought her, and he felt a wave of smug possessiveness rush over him. None of the others could have done that for her. She was sitting in the corner of the room with a scattered assortment of art supplies around her, and she was scribbling away in a notebook. Watching her face while she scratched away made him think about what Tia had said, about keeping her for himself. Seeing her like this, he was starting to consider it.

Maybe he should have just walked away without approaching her, he should have pretended he didn't see her and gone to his room, take care of his growing problem…Before he'd realized it, he waltzed right over to her and sat down beside her without a word, making the girl gasp and practically do a double take when she looked up and saw him.

Whatever he was going to say died on his tongue when she set aside whatever she was working on face down and leaned over him, wrapping her arms around his neck, giggling out a greeting. How was he supposed to respond to that? He was sure he'd never get used to the way she acted around him.

"I'm so happy to see you, Rio!" Her voice is soft when she pulls back, like she's trying to keep down so they don't get caught, and it makes Rio feel like they're sneaking around…It's almost an exciting feeling, it brings images of him taking and hiding her away in his room, where no one else can see her. Where she'd be a secret joy, just for him.

"Whoa Renni, what are you doing up so late? It's past bedtime for all the little humans you know?" Rio's playful voice doesn't betray any of the thoughts in his head as he watches her gather up some of the art supplies…Is she done? Or is she getting ready to leave because he's there?

She giggles at the question then hums softly in thought, something sitting on the edge of her tongue before she decides to leave that topic untouched. "There's a strict bedtime? That's hardly fair." Her hands hesitate before she grabs a small paintbrush, and he's so distracted by her hands he doesn't notice it until he feels her lean over and brush her shoulder against his. "And who knew you'd be such a stickler for rules, Rio!"

"Hardly!" Rio snorts waving the hand that isn't holding up one of his expression signs…He thinks it's the cartoony grin. "But you and I both know you're gonna get dragged around by all the others and their mothers tomorrow! You really should get some sleep, that's like….Really important for humans, yknow?"

There's a far off look in her eyes as she stares forward, she's smiling but it looks tired. "I know, I know, I just…" She sighs, pulling her knees up to her chest, her hands resting on her knees while she stares into nothing. "I don't know why, I just haven't been able to get any sleep recently."

There's some part of Rio that's surprised she's sharing this information with him, but she's always been like this with him, especially when they're alone. "Ahh, I get it, you're worried about all those guys running around, aren't you? Especially now that some of them have gotten another peak at the goods, huh?" Of course, he knew that wasn't why…Though, he felt like it should be at least part of it.

"No, no!" Her laugh is soft and breathy as she tries to keep her voice down. "Honestly, no! I trust everyone here!" A look crosses her face briefly, so quickly Rio almost missed it completely. She looked…Angry. "Ah…Well…Almost everyone, anyway…" Her expression was back to smiley and squishy so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

This time, he leaned over to her, bumping his shoulder against hers a bit harder than when she did it. "Oooh~? Someone here that Miss Pollyanna herself doesn't trust~? Oh tell me, I have to know!" He switches his expression card to the diamond cat mouth, letting his eyes narrow slightly at her. "Is it maybe the bad boy in the cute red skirt~?"

She chuckles softly, putting her hand on his shoulder and very gently shoving him away. "Oh don't be silly, of course I trust you Rio!" Her voice is still soft but the truth of that simple statement seems to echo through the room.

It shocks Rio to his very core. She said it so plainly, so matter of factly, like there was no other option for her. "Then who is it you don't trust?" He asks, trying to distract himself from the way his face has warmed considerably.

"It's just…" She looks to the doorway with a strange expression on her face for a moment instead of clarifying. "I don't trust the Receptionist Doll." Her voice holds a level of suspicion he hasn't heard from her before.

"Oh yeah?" He had to admit, it was probably in her best interest not to be so trusting of his father. "Any reason in particular, or is it just a bad feeling?" He asked, but he really didn't expect an answer. Humans rarely have good reasons when deciding who and who not to trust. Obviously, since she trusted him as much as she did.

She didn't look at him, and her hands balled into fists before uncurling again. "He's so quiet, I can't tell what he's thinking ever…And he just…Appears and disappears whenever, where ever. It's unsettling…"

He considers her reasons as they hang in the air, surprised a little at how reasonable they are.

And then she whirls around to face him, her eyebrows scrunched down and her lips pressed in a thin line with her cheeks puffed out and the action makes him startle back ever so slightly.

"And yknow what else?! Guys with mustaches are always secretly evil!! They can't be trusted as far as you can throw em!" Her voice is a hoarse whisper when she says this, as though it's top secret.

And Rio couldn't help but laugh in her face. He'd put his expression cards down, and he had to cover his mouth with his hands as he laughed heartily at the ridiculousness of what his favorite human just said to him with her whole chest.

Renni's expression remains before she breaks out into a grin and leans closer against him, giggling and snorting along with him, her hands covering her mouth.

He was surprised once again how easy interactions with her are, something he attributes to her complete and total naive trust in his. Though, the longer he spends with her one on one he realizes her lack of judgement towards him, his actions, his cruelty, his shitty attitude, and everything else about him must have something to do with it.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, her head leaning against his shoulder and he's startled to realize he doesn't hate the physical contact when it's her. He lets himself lean his head against hers, ignoring the way his hand itches to hold hers as best he can.

His hand inches towards hers while he argues with himself. Right before his fingers brush hers, she sits up and claps her hands together.

"Oh! Hey Riri, do you wanna see what I was working on before you joined me~?" Her smile when she looks at him is so warm and kind he can only nod, even while he misses her warmth against him.

She giggles softly and picks up the notebook. "Don't judge it too harshly, okay? It's not finished, it's just a first draft too, I just wanted to get the idea down on paper before I forgot it." He nods as she hands the notebook over to him and he nearly drops it seeing what she's done.

It's a water coloring drawing of him, in an outfit that looks like it was designed for him. It's frills and poofy shorts and a hooded cloak with rabbit ears. It's not a perfect drawing, but it's lovely and it's warm and soft, and so much he can't process completely.

"I know, I know, it's rushed, but I really wanted to get it down on paper…" When he can tear his eyes away from the page, he sees that Renni's face is colored crimson and she's pulled her pigtails in front of her face to cover her flushed expression. "But…Even still…Do you like it? The outfit, I mean, I call it 'Ranger Rabbit'~. The drawing is subpar I know…"

"Subpar?!" Rio raised his voice more than he meant too, judging by the way she flinched away from him. He cleared his throat and made a conscious effort to control his volume as he spoke. "I don't think the drawing is subpar. I like it. If you don't like it, I'll keep it." He looks down at the page again, fighting the urge to hold the notebook against his chest. "The outfit is pretty too, did you come up with the design?"

"No, not entirely. I saw it once before, but I changed some things up to make it fit you better, like the colors. I'm glad you like it though." Her voice is soft, and he bets she's smiling that smile where she tries to hide her teeth. "I want to make it for you sometime, if I can. The outfit, I mean."

He looks back at her, trying to keep his eyes from widening. "Huh? Why would you want to do that?"

"I want do something nice for you, as a thank you for helping me." She says it so plainly, again, like it should be obvious to him.

He puts back up his cartoony grin expression card as he tries to hide his own flushed face. "C'mon, I already told you, you don't have to thank me for getting you a spare set of clothes, it's nothing special y'know?"

"But it is special!" She insists with a small huff. "You keep saying that, but you do so much to help me! You bandage me up when I get hurt, you go out of your way to find me some dry, spare clothes so I don't have to walk around in my pajamas, you lead me around by the hands so I don't get lost, and your hand is always so gentle when you do it, and even when you're annoyed at me for being stupid you're always patient and kind with me! And you have no reason to be!! I'm not one of the contestants, you have no duty of care for me, but you take such good care of me!"

For a moment, she lets that hang in the air before she sighs. "I just…Want to do something nice for you too, yknow? I thought if I could make you some clothes, something made just for you, that you might like it…I don't think it's fair to you, that Miss Sue Miley and Miss Tia Safalin both have outfits that were clearly designed for them, but you have to scavenge around and pray you'll find something that'll cover you. So, if I can manage it, will you let me make you something?"

When her sweet, dark eyes turned to him, Rio audibly gulped. He nodded, trusting his voice would fail him if he tried to say anything, especially with the way his hand, holding his expression sign, was shaking at his side. He sets her notebook to the side, to give his other hand something to do.

She smiled at him, and he lost his breath because of it. "Thank you." She said it as though he did her a favor by accepting her offer. "Still, I wish I had something I could give you now to show you how I feel." She sighs softly, before letting out a breathy chuckle. "I guess this is all I can do for now."

Before he can react, Renni has leaned over to him and pressed her lips against his expression card.

She pulled back as quickly as it happened, but he swore he could almost feel her lips on the other side of the plastic card. So, so close to his own.

He let out a shakey breath. "Honestly, if you're gonna kiss me, you oughta do it properly." He let out an indignant huff, pretending his face wasn't on fire…Fuck, what was his face made out of again? If she kept this up, she might just make his face melt off.

He bet if his face melted off, she'd just keep smiling at him anyway.

"…Okay." Her soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he looks at her again, her face is as red as his feels.

"…Huh?" He blinks at her.

"I'll do it…Kiss you properly, if…That's what you want." She glances down then back up to him.

"N…No, there's no way you mean that." He doesn't sound sure, he feels like he's sure, but when he looks at her face, he can't tell anymore. She looks sure.

"Of course I do." Her voice is steadier than he feels, setting his expression cards down.

He reaches out, slowly, unsure, and cups her face with both his hands.

"You're sure?" His voice comes out barely above a whisper.

"I am." She nods, her voice soft as his is, like if either of them raises their voice, the moment will shatter.

He's slow as he leans in, giving her ample time to pull back, to change her mind, to stop him, to yell at and curse him for trying to do such a thing to her, because really, it's cruel isn't it? To kiss her when she's looking at him like that, when he can't look at her the same way?

Her eyes slip shut, and her hands move gently over his and he gulps softly, close enough to her now he can feel her breath on his lips, and he hesitates.

Her thumbs stroke the back of his hands through the gloves he's wearing.

He closes his eyes and closes the distance, pressing his lips against her warm, soft ones.

Their lips move together, awkward and slow, but gentle, and for a moment, he thinks he feels warmth bloom in his chest.

And it frightens him, and he pulls back, just enough to get out of her dizzying warmth. He opens his eyes again, and licks his lips slightly, tasting something fruity on them when he does.

Her eyes open slowly, her face is brilliant scarlet, and when the first thing she sees as her eyes open is him, she smiles and nuzzles into his hands. Her fingers curl softly against his hands, and she giggles softly, airy, and the sound makes Rio's head spin.

"What are you laughing at?" He asks, frowning, perhaps a bit too much to correct for the way he's feeling.

Her eyes shut again, crinkling at the corner as she lets herself laugh freely. "I'm just so happy!" She says, pressing his hands a bit closer to her face.

"About what?" He asks, almost indignant.

Her eyes open again, though they're lidded as she looks at him, her smile is soft and welcoming. "I'm happy because my first kiss was with a guy a like so much~."

Such a simple sentence feels like a punch to the gut for the Dressup Doll. Her first kiss? And what does she mean she likes him? She can't mean it the way it sounds…Is she teasing him?

He wants to get angry, it would be so easy to get angry, too. But he knows whatever game she's playing, she can't have bad intentions. She's never done anything to suggest she might, and if he's inclined to believe anyone here is completely without ulterior motive, he'd believe it with her. So he wonders, is she just trying to be nice? Is she teasing him? Is she lying to make him feel better? To try to make him feel included in these weird human games?

Good intentions or not, she can't be allowed to get away with teasing him like this. Honestly, she's lucky it's him she's toying around with, other guys would jump at the chance to give her reasons not to trust them.

Maybe that would be a good punishment, honestly. Show her what will happen when she's not careful with who she gives her affection too.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

He slips his hands out from under hers and before she can respond, he reaches down and grabs her by the hips, lifting her into the air and he drags her over to his lap and holds her there. She gasps and startles, her hands pressing gently against his chest while her face colors further.

"If you keep teasing me like that, I'm going to make you regret it." With his hands still on her hips, he can feel it when his words make her shiver, and she looks at him with her wide, doe eyes, glistening somehow in the low light.

"I'm not teasing you, I mean it. I feel lucky that my first kiss was with you." Her voice is soft, and holds no sign of dishonesty, but how can he believe she's being truthful when it's him she's talking about kissing?

…If she's being honest, it's worse. He can't return those feelings, not in the same way, not in anyway that would be good for her…

He has to hurt her, to chase her off somehow. He can't let her continue to get attached to him, he can't give her the kind of love she deserves.

"Fine." His voice is cold, cruel. She doesn't react, she never has before. "If that's the game you want to play, I can play it too." His arms move, wrapping around her waist, pulling her tightly against him, and she lets out a soft whimper. "But I'm going to win..!" The words come out with almost a hiss as he leans his face close to hers.

He hesitates a few centimeters away again, and her eyes close again as he draws near. Even now, she trusts him not to hurt her.

That realization pushes him on, and he presses his lips to hers again, a considerable roughness in his motions that wasn't there before. The difference in his approach isn't lost on Renni, if the little sounds she's making are anything to go off of. And hell, were those sounds ever encouraging, even to someone like him.

He wasted no time in slipping his tongue into her mouth, letting it press against and bully hers, making her whimper into his mouth. He smirks against her when he feels her hands grip the front of his shirt. As he brings one of his hands up to tangle it in her hair, he wonders if this is enough? Has he pushed her far enough that she'll actually take this lesson to heart? The way she leans into him tells him no, he hasn't.

He lets out a frustrated noise into her mouth, tugging on her hair, wondering just how far this game is going to have to go for her to get it? How long was he going to have to taste her, an intoxicating mix of some candy she got from the prize booth and something so so warm and so so human? Really, what did he need to do to make her get it? Would he have to put his hands on her, find and use all her sensitive spots for his amusement? Would he have to slip his hands under her clothes, feel her soft flesh under his hands? If that wasn't enough, what would be?

Would he need to take her back to his room, take the clothes he so graciously provided for her and throw them to the side? Would he have to put his mouth on her body, mark up her soft, delicate flesh with bruises and bites so everyone knew who she belongs to? Would he have to press his fingers in her, to tease her, to please her, to get her ready for more, to watch her squirm and whine and beg for more? Would he have to strip his stolen clothes off, leaving them both bare and fully exposed? Would he need to press inside her, warm and wet, becoming one with her? Would it finally be too much when he's rutting inside her until they're both seeing stars and he's painted her insides white?

What would he do, if after all of that, she still looked at him with such tender, loving eyes? Would he have to keep her all to himself after all? Fuck, he would keep her, he'd take such good care of her, his own secret joy, just for him. Just for him, her sweet little sounds, her soft delicate body, her big doe eyes, her addictive kissable lips, all of her, all for him…

Her arms move to wrap around his neck and he groans into her mouth. He pulls her further down into his lap and shivers as their groins are pressed flush together, drinking in her startled moan. He moves his free hand to grab her waist and starts forcing her up and down against him while he ruts up against her, the electrifying friction making her whine so so deliciously into his mouth. He untangles his hand from her hair, instead dragging it down her body until it reaches her breast and he starts groping her through her clothes. All of her gasps, moans and whines shoot straight to his core, and as he grinds against her, he thinks about easy it would be right now, to push aside their underwear and just start fucking into her right here and now, making his claim on her right here where anyone could see.

He thinks about what adorable face she'd make when he'd force his cock inside her tight, hot little hole. He thinks about the lewd noises their bodies would make together, with him rutting up into her, the wetness of her around him only drowned out by the sound of skin on skin. His thumb starts rubbing soothing circles on her hip, though he's pretty sure he's already bruised her with his grip.

He pulls his hand back from her breast long enough to slip it under her shirt to start groping and massaging her through her bra. One of her hands starts carding through his hair and he moans into her mouth. He pulls back from her mouth, a trail of saliva connecting them briefly, and the whine she lets out from him suddenly pulling back like that goes straight to his ego and his dick and he grins smugly.

"Awww, look at you pretty girl, you're putty in my hands~." As if to prove a point, he pinches her hardened nipple through her bra, tugging on it and rolling between his thumb and forefinger.

"A-ahh~…Fuck, Rio..~" The way his name rolled off her tongue when she moaned had him grind up against her harder, groaning. Fuck he wanted her…

He dipped his head down to press his lips to her neck, desperate to make her cry out his name more. He wants to bite her, he wants to bite her so badly, but he doesn't want to hurt her, not until he knows what she can handle at least, so he plays it safe, kissing and licking down her neck until he reaches her collar bone, where he nips and sucks lightly at the flesh.

God he wants to mark her up, to cover her throat in hickies and bites so dark they can identify who made them with his dental records. He wants to rip her shirt and bra to shreds and take her nipples in his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. He wants to pull her panties out of the way and slip his fingers inside her and make her moan and cry his name out so loudly the whole killing game knows who she belongs to.

He lets his hand trail slowly from her breast down her body, kissing back up her neck until he finds her mouth again, forcing his tongue into her mouth the second they're connected again. His hand moves down to her thigh, where he kneads the flesh, and he moans thinking about how it would feel to have her plush thighs wrapped around his head as he makes her cum on his tongue again and again.

His hands moves slowly up her thigh and under her skirt until he reaches her panties, and she whines softly as he ghosts his finger down the hot, slick patch in the center. Fuck, he wanted her, he needed her, he was going to have her--

"Ahem."

An unknown voice cut through the air, and faster than she could react, Rio's arms moved to wrap around Renni's waist, pulling her head to his chest as he broke the kiss, leveling a glare he wasn't aware was on his face at whoever dared to interrupt his game.

Ah.

The Receptionist Doll.

Gashu Satou.

Rio Ranger's father and creator.

It should have been a comfort for Rio, that it was only him who walked in on this. Still, his arms tightened around Renni's body. He was embarrassed being caught in such a position by his father, but he had to admit, he was pretty infuriated too. He didn't have to come this way to interrupt his fun, so why did he?

"What's going on here?" Gashu's face is blank, carefully so. It makes Rio recall Renni's words from earlier. 'He's so quiet, I can't tell what he's thinking ever…And he just…Appears and disappears whenever, where ever. It's unsettling…'. Rio snorts slightly thinking about it.

"Nothing too important. I'm just playing with one of my toys." Rio's voice is carefully blank, but he's still yet to realize there's an intense scowl on his red face that gives away how he's more invested in this…Incident, than his words would let on. "She's so soft and cute, and since she's not a contestant, I'm thinking of keeping her for myself. I mean, there's no rules about it after all so why shouldn't I take this one for myself?"

'So hop off my dick about it already, dad.' Rio thinks bitterly, watching his father's unchanging face.

"Very well. Carry on then. But if these activities are going to continue, you should go to one of your rooms." His voice is blank as he speaks, as it always is, showing no signs of how he feels about this incident…Rio feels like he's got a scolding coming later, but he ignores it. If his dad has issue with him taking a pet, he can tell him like an adult.

Gashu nods and leaves down the hall without ever entering the lobby, and Rio huffs. He really did go out of his way to interrupt them!

In an instant, exactly what was interrupted comes back to him, and he flinches, slowly unwinding his arms from the human against him, letting his hands settle gently on her shoulders and pull her back enough he can get a look at her.

Her hair is messy, her lipstick is smeared, her face bright red and eyes bleary as she looks at him. Her clothes are messy, and there's some light marks on her neck that he's sure won't last the day. His eyes drop down further and he gulps, her skirt is pushed up to the point he can see her panties and the damp spot…And his own skirt is pushed up too and he sees his bulge pressed against her crotch and he shivers.

"R-right…" He barely manages to tear his eyes away, to look her in the face as he speaks. "Well…I think…It about time we get you to bed, you��You've still got things to do tomorrow."

She nods and mutters an affirmative, and the two of them untangle their limbs, and they gather up their things. He passes her back her notebook, and gulps slightly when their fingers brush together. Her legs shake as she stands up, and he wonders how and if she can walk in her boots right now especially. They awkwardly rearrange their clothes, and after a moment, he reaches over and takes her hand in his gently.

"Here, I'll walk you back to your room." He says, holding up his cartoonish smile sign and she nods.

He leads her there, even though he's sure she knows the way, and she leans against his arm.

It's not long when they make it to her room, and he feels himself deflate slightly, not wanting to leave and deal with his…Issue, and not wanting to face his father after what he walked in on…And he didn't want to leave her.

"Welp, I better get going, huh?" His voice is a forced casual tone as he pulls his hand from hers, he's sure she can tell how forced it is…

"Please stay." Her voice is firm but gentle.

"…Huh?" He feels his face redden more under her gaze.

"Please, stay the night with me…" Renni asks, her voice quiet and a bit hoarse.

Rio scoffs quietly, unsure of what else to even do. "Do you have no idea what you're offering when you go and say shit like that..?!" His frustrations about not being able to chase her off flare up slightly. "Did you forget what just happened? Don't you think at all before putting yourself in dangerous situations like this..?!" Before he can think better of it, his hand goes up and he flicks her forehead, making her yelp.

Her hand moves up to rub her forehead, and she looks at him with a pout and slightly teary eyes. "There's nothing dangerous about this situation, you wouldn't hurt me." She says slightly indignantly, so sure of herself. So sure of him. So sure of the trust she's placed in him, it makes his breath get caught in his throat.

"Besides," She continues taking his hand in both of hers and pulling it up to her chest. "I don't think…You should be alone right now, after what happened…I know…From personal experience that…Being alone when you're emotionally delicate isn't a good idea." Her words are so gentle, so caring…Filled with so much love.

All he can do in response is to nod dumbly, and the way she smiles at him makes him sure he won't regret staying with her, how can he when it makes her so happy?

She kisses the back of his hand before she leads him into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

The lights are flicked on and Rio looks around the room, though there's really no reason too. It looks just the same as all the other contestant's rooms…Of course, Renni's not a contestant, and Rio can see a few of her personal items around the room. The clothes that got splashed this morning are hanging up in front of the mirror to dry. He sees her backpack is in one of the two chairs.

"So…Am I taking one of the chairs?" Rio asks, pointing to the free chair. He didn't really need to sleep, so it'd be no problem…But he would be a brat about it, just for fun.

"What? No, of course not!" She laughs from behind him and he snorts.

"What, so you'd have me sleep on the floor? Like an animal?!" He ponders if it'd be better for him to anyway, given the way he was behaving. However, he stopped being able to think of much of anything when he turned around to face Renni.

"Don't be silly, Rio! The bed is more than big enough for both of us!" She laughs again, and her laugh is clear and warm as ever.

But there's a chill settling inside of Rio where the warmth he usually felt around her was.

She was changing, her back to him, taking her bra off and leaving her top half completely bare. And while there was a warmth on his cheeks that he couldn't deny, the rest of him was cold as he looked over the marred flesh of her back.

He snaps out of his staring and turns back to the chairs, ignoring her reflection as she pulls her pajama shirt over her bare upper half.

"Oh? You sure that's a good idea?" He asks, his voice is shaking now as he is fully aware of the shuffling of clothes he hadn't noticed before.

She hums softly instead of answering him for a moment. "Why wouldn't it be? You wouldn't do anything bad to me." She sounds so sure of herself, while his head replays everything that already happened and everything he thought about doing to her just that night. "You should take your shoes off, too."

"What, for free?" He jokes easily, pretending he didn't see what he did as he kicks his boots off. The joke got the reaction he wanted, another batch of giggles from her.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't look, I promise~." Her own little joke nearly made him choke on his spit, letting out a startled laugh.

He bet she wouldn't look, if he asked her not to. He bet she'd let him blind fold her if he asked her, if he was insecure about her seeing him while they--

His thoughts cut off when he feels Renni's hands take his arm and pull him down onto the bed with her as she flops down on the bed, pulling him down on top of her, pressed against her completely with his face buried in her neck.

"W-warn a guy next time!" He pulls back enough to speak, stuttering and red in the face as she laughs under him, their bodies close enough he can feel her shaking from the laughter.

"Oh man, I didn't think that'd startle you so much! You're usually too aware to be caught off guard like that!" She giggles still, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry for spookin ya." Her voice is gentle and genuine as she whispers her apology into his skin, before she plunks back down, rolling over to her side and dragging him with her. Only now, as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him, does he realize she shut out the lights again at some point.

"Good night, Rio~." Her voice is light as she speaks, but she stifles a yawn. She might be more tired than he realized.

He huffs slightly, but presses a quick kiss to the top of her head. "G'night princess." He mumbles into her hair, and he feels her sigh contentedly, her breath fanning out against his skin, making him shiver.

He pulls her blanket up around them and puts his arm back around her, where it fits so nicely against her. Like it's where it's meant to be.

"Thought you had trouble sleeping…" He mutters, not expecting an answer, when he realizes she's already fallen asleep against him. Just how much did she trust him? How safe around him did she feel, to just…Fall asleep pressed up against him of all people?

Thoughts about her, how much she trusts him, how happy she always was to see him, how soft she was as he held her and more are what finally lure Rio to sleep with her.

[gibbearish]

something kind of. bitter. abt tons of posts from about a month ago being like "anyone daring to even consider the words 'compassion fatigue/burnout' is a piece of shit for trying to assuage their own guilt over not paying as much attention as they should, much less telling OTHER people that it's ok to look away when it's not your place to say that because you're not the victims. 'wah wah my mental health' well at least you're not being bombed so you'd better be thankful you're not in their position. if you're not constantly tortured with graphic visions of genocide then you aren't actually doing your part" vs posts now being like "psa, if you're constantly being haunted by images you've seen and it's affecting your mood significantly, that's not normal and there's a word for that!" like. wow yeah damn if only someone had tried to warn people that this was a thing before it started to set in. such a shame no one did, oh well. and i know it's probably not the same people making those posts, but it still. Feels. and i know i've already made a post to this time before but idc the shift has put it back in my head so i guess take 2 on why i found this so annoying in the first place

it was always with a vibe of like, "this event is so horrible that the regular precautions to avoid compassion fatigue shouldn't apply, fixing it is more important." which. /is/ true in a sense, however those two things aren't actually related in the way that framing that way implies, paying attention doesn't actually /do/ anything concrete that would be lost by taking breaks from consuming news about this. there's the implication that the more people that pay attention, the more people in power will be forced to behave knowing that the world's eyes are on them. but like. this far in, they know everyone's eyes are on them by now, and have decided to proceed anyways. just kind of... looking at them harder isn't going to change anything. and also like.... "when the event is this horrible, why would you be thinking about that instead of putting them first"? because. the more horrible the event. the more. likely learning a lot about it will fuck you up? thats. that seems pretty obvious to me? like. there's more Shit For Your Brain To Torment You With 24/7 if more shit is being done and reported on. the worse something is, the worse it'll make you feel to spend all your time thinking about. yes, some people will be ignoring it because they genuinely don't care, but that doesn't automatically mean the ONLY way to care is to Pay Constant Attention No Matter What.

and like. yes, we should do all we can to help palestinians, but some people act like because we're not being killed and they are, we owe it to them to take on as much of that trauma as we can by proxy? like since we aren't having to go through the actual thing, any negative affects we go through can never compare and are therefore irrelevant, and we should instead only be thankful it's not happening to us. i've said this before but it feels very much like the old "finish your vegetables, there's kids starving in africa" thing parents would say, where it's like. ok, i get that the sentiment behind what youre expressing here is "you should take care to be thankful for things you take for granted, because there are people out there suffering without this," but theres always an implicit "and if you don't use yours right, you're hurting those people by wasting what they could've used" when that just !! doesn't actually follow after the first part, that is not the conclusion you should draw there!!! i would obviously give my leftover vegetables to someone else sooner than throw them away but until warp technology is cracked i am limited by things like distance and expiration dates and stable temperature zones, and i would obviously give my leftover Not Being Bombed to every palestinian if i could but until The Way Reality Works is cracked i am limited by. yknow. the way reality works. abstract concepts like that just arent transferrable without a LOT more direct involvement than just. looking at some posts or not.

and i think that's the crucial thing that bugs me abt both of these is not just that the conclusions they offer are wrong and manipulative, but that the /premise themselves/ are, and they take something HUGE for granted, which is "the thing i want you to do is Right and will Work, therefore i'm justified in forcing you to do it, regardless of any discomfort this causes as it will still have a net positive impact." eating your vegetables is Good for you, so forcing you to eat more when you don't want them is justified, and your reasons for not wanting them don't matter. palestinians have asked us to keep reading and sharing their posts because it helps them, so shaming people for not wanting to is justified, and their reasons for not wanting to don't matter. nevermind that overeating can be bad for you and children are indeed capable of telling when they're full or of having slightly smaller stomachs than the serving sizes their parents dish up, nevermind that they can have food sensitivities or even just /dislike the flavor of something/ and we don't force adults to finish foods they know they dislike, nevermind that compassion fatigue was already an existing concept long before this, nevermind that this is The Mental Illness Website, nevermind that reblogging a bunch of posts with graphic videos that will keep you up all night and be filtered by half your followers anyways doesn't stop fucking BOMBS. it's all we can do, nevermind that it's largely symbolic, therefore if you're not doing it for ANY reason, you are Bad. so do what i say in order to be Good even if it hurts you. it's just such a manipulative, PATRONIZING way of going about things that it just grates at me every time.

[pinkseas]

naur but everytime i word vomit into ur inbox i literally cant remember 70% of it than the core details and the ones you answered the next day so it's kinna funny i wish tumblr lets me save my anon asks than eating it up cus i ain't drafting it like ANYWAY TO UR BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >> I LOVE GOING INSANE WITH ALY PINKSEAS TOO ur friends are so real!!!!!!! youre insane are you single IS SUCH A FUNNY ASS LINE I WISH I WAS HIT BY IT AND I'D SAY YEA WHAT ABOUT IT

"twitter scares me so bad" as you should it's a shithole for genshin altogether with discourse and mischaracterization and you'd literally cannot stop seeing any of them once you get genshin in ur algorithm and yknow what i realized my only Best fandom experience came from tumblr with undertale Despite its discourses bc its got effective filters and the people are genuinely Good so now i'm thinking of yeeting outta twt and spectating my way here like last time (i am already doing it)

"if i read soulmates it has to be done Right [...] they can’t depend on one another they cant need one another they have to Want. they have to Choose" LIKE NO YEAH THIS IS SO TRUE SO REAL THIS IS WHAT BUGS ME ON SOULMATE AUS when it's almost not by choice and they have to work on accepting it like they're forced into needing it's like,.. a very complicated method here in changing their minds toward the other person Because of the cursed bestowed on them- the point of Choice is so fucking important to me especially when it comes to xiao specifically bc in my rendition of his he's unfamiliar with such things for a long time,.. and even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to IT JUST HURTS HE LOST HIS FREE WILL AND THEN UR SOUL BOUND LIKE WHAT (AND FR specific soulmate tropes where the two ARE given the choice for it are. acceptable 2 me)

"lumine handling intensity well and being much better at identifying her emotions suits her SO well imo" yeah like yea!!EVERYTHING ABT THIS and i think it follows up all the traveler's sass in-game bc she's so fuckin hilarious for delivering lines super well despite having Less lines cus aside paimon taking over the talking she does have her moments and i lov her for it I DO WISH THEY HAVE HER TALK MORE EVEN WITH THE USUAL TEXT CHOOSING i just want her sick ass lines conversing

FKSDFHJSKDFJ ENDEARING IS SUCH A GODLIKE WORD TO ME I WILL KEEP USING IT FOR XIAO EVER its the way you can use it like. subtlely. a lil hidden a lil not Much about his cuteness without explicitly calling him cute its Big Word for the small boy!!!!

your thoughts on qpr makes me feel so much better abt thinking this way bout r/s like YEAH its all abt communication and open with boundaries and there really is something stifling about established r/s BUT IT'S COMPLETELY FINE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER THAT ANYHOW!!

AND YES SO MUCH ON LUMINE AND XIAO'S SHOW OF ATTRACTION TO EACH OTHER i wudnt even call it attraction i think anything that indicates a romantic tension between them is something i'm not gonna entertain like 'craving' or 'desire' (this word in particular is used very specific) and stuff like that, and it's a big fact that lumine's attachment feels like its the same to everyone Except aether,... even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home too. it's unbeatable even to xiao, or at least, xiao has a different treatment to kindness for being so Similar to her (breaks down) "i feel like seeing each other constantly would be a detriment i think it’d make them both feel really weird." like RIGHT????? IT JUST FEELS OFF THIS WAY and it's not a good portrayal of xiao's desperation not wanting to lose someone else anymore. but even then, idt he shows that notion much or at all than his self-sacrifice tendencies, which is an entirely different topic. this thing about xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether...;;,,

"no bc i characterize lumine as LOVING nature so bad" and u are absolute fucking RIGHT to think that, and for me she just likes exploring in general and is a bit of a reckless daredevil so long she has her glider and its the only condition. its stupid it's silly BUT IT MAKES SENSE shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos

"i am So Grateful to you for sharing your thoughts i am so giddy over us being on such similar wavelengths" AND ME TO YOU TOO IT'S BEEN SO GOOD TO JUST SPILL EVERYTHING I HAVE IN MIND and get comfortable even on stuff im shy to reveal on unpublished asks cus ur reactions even if not agreeing there's still some reassurance anyway and i dont mind that or feel rejected at all when 98% others is what we just. have connected brains on KDJFHSDKJFH AND JEEZ I RLLY DO CAN'T HELP MYSELF WHEN THE BRAINWORMS INVADE WHEN I REPLY UR RESPONSES TOO it takes over my fingers like a parasite i gratefully let em

and ouuouh ur interpretation of the two's development starting in inazuma is so sweet and it makes sense bc of how dangerous the region is bc in my silly lil bran it made sense to have it After the chasm since it's the quests centering his arc AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE HE HAS HIS OWN ARCHON INTERLUDE,.. this made me loving all the peeps of the chasm gang too and i wish they did Something after the quest ended like UEUEUE TRAUMA SHARING SESSION FOR PPL WHO ONLY MET FOR 3 DAYS LETS GO

so like i start from sumeru bc of the points bc of this and bc i love slow development So Much im practically immune to slowburn did u know. all those fics do Not affect me even if i reach its 30th chapter of them being reluctant to opening up. ""zhongli encouraging him to take more time to himself, lumine taking him on little trips guiding him out more and more and more often" is THE CONCEPT EVER YOU HAVE ZHONGLI INVOLVED idk if you dig this but parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world. like zhongli is such a dad,.... doing dad things a grandpa to liyue but i also cant help but have him having an attachment to xiao knowing they share a life even as a master-subordinate r/s (cus in my interpretation zhongli never felt that way than thinking he just wants xiao to Live, too,.. sobbing crying shitting)

"taking baby steps in leaving that part of his life, never quite letting go but letting the ties that hold him to liyue loosen, never forgetting his contract and his duty but understanding that there’s no longer an obligation to fulfill it, that he does it out of his own wish instead. i just. idk. idk !!!!!! at the core of it i think im obsessed with them learning how to live again and doing it together" i got no words. i ran out of brain fuel but my body is convulsing folding in on itself liek MY LIEGE YOU ARE!!!!! U R SO,........ LIKE OSBFGKJFGHDKJGH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is THE XIAOLUMI AND METHINKS,....... THE XIAO ARC IN ENTIRETY AS WELL CUS I BELIEVE IN HIS INDEPENDENCY (with a little help and support from ppl who cares bout him) i just akjdhaskejjksfhsdfkjhdsjfhkjdsbvadhvbjhkv

using a read more thingy just for the sake of anyone on mobile

NOT REMEMBERING ASKS IS SO REAL i forget what i say so often even when i Can go back and check how the fuck am i supposed to know what ive said when i Can't

MY BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >>> SO REAL i think its been more than a few at this point actually which is very funny to me. shan if ur reading this i am holding u so close to me in my little arms. youre insane are you single is the best line ever especially when you are Dating The Person Who Says It my response every time is "no but i could be😏" i find myself far too funny its awful

we are Shaking Hands in terms of being on tumblr experiencing the undertale fandom that's so real of us undertale was the reason i got a tumblr in the first place all those years ago... you should ABSOLUTELY spectate here i literally never see anything i don't want to see i live in my perfect little echo chamber it's so <333

"even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to" GODDD YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA H YEAH YEAHY HEA YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!! do NOT force this boy into situations he does that enough by himself thank you very much

"even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home" no bc its just. On Another Level Genuinely. they've been traveling together with no one but each other with god knows how long especially depending on personal headcanons, they're used to going through entire worlds and moving on theyre used to not getting super attached !!! its a little different in teyvat i think because theyve lost most of their power and they're trapped and alone for the foreseeable future but. that still doesnt change the past and their habits yknow ?? its something i try REALLY hard not to think about actually because (with the exception of a very specific au which i am currently writing for) unless they're just. trapped on teyvat Forever i CANNOT imagine lumine staying there once she has the ability to leave and i CANNOT imagine xiao ever leaving. it makes me So Sad genuinely i simply refuse to acknowledge its existence

"xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether" SO REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO GLAD U THINK IM RIGHT ABT THE NATURE LOVING it just feels right tbh and "shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos" also so real <33333333 lumine and her silly little glider. god. i love them both so bad

i do like to think of the chasm as post-inazuma but thats because in my head w/ their development inazuma is like. The Next Step almost, where they're close enough in liyue but the fact that they continue to be close even once lumine has left really hits. and then they've been a bit closer and become familiar with one another in quite a few ways by the time the chasm happens and then i get super self indulgent with the chasm because i am so silly like that <3333 in terms of slowburn and the way you've described their growing closeness it does make SO much sense to swap it tbh i love the thought of the chasm being like the start of things and the way that'd bring them closer before inazuma and. mfgnmhfnmf god. GOD.

"i wish they did Something after the quest ended" no bc in my little brain they get together once every month or two just to have a meal together and talk and keep up with each other they are Friends Now

"parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world" this is the most perfect accurate thing i have read in my entire life for starters i LOVE parental zhongli like. idk not FULL parental not too much but def him being a more parental figure in xiao's life especially compared to other interpretations of their dynamic i just. god. it is So Important to me that zhongli cares for him and looks after him just in those little ways. the warm encouraging hand on his back vs the hand pulling him along is PERFECT thats such a fucking amazing way of putting it i love everything abotu that the image is so clear in my head

o(-(

^^^ me dead on the floor thinking about zhongli and lumine being such important figures in xiao's life... i like to think that a Lot of the characters in liyue are important to him in different, small little ways i just don't know their characters well enough to fully describe how but like. idk baizhu qiqi yanfei ganyu yknow ?? i know next to nothing about yanfei but i might have to try and write her for this honestly we'll see how it goes but i REALLY want there to be at least one character other than the few i have now who he ends up talking to even if its just smth rly simple... if nothing else the chasm crew is getting an honorable mention on god

idk i just. xiao has done so much for liyue for so long i really love to think of those very few who know him trying to do little supporting things for him, too it's so important to me

okay and now !!!

i am also gonna answer the Other Ask but without publishing it naturally it will simply live comfy cozy in my inbox <333

THAT ONE SHIP "it mischaracterizes Both characters in the pair altogether for the sake of romance" you're so real for this idk i dont MIND seeing it but it has never felt in character to me and i feel like this describes exactly why ?? idk maybe its just the xiaolumi brainworms eating away at me but like. i Get It

what you said about like. your personal hcs for him in regards to that trauma and how he processes it that is SO fucking valid, i def understand getting anxious about certain self-indulgent hcs im the same way both with the sillier ones and heavier ones but i can promise you that if nothing else i will Never judge you for even the most self indulgent ridiculous shit EVER. like the way you described it all is so valid and so easy to picture and a really good way to interpret/believe he'd deal with everything but even if you were to have the most ooc headcanon or anything ever just for fun just for the sake of it i simply would never judge having fun is the Most Important with these things im so srs

we have diff interpretations of how he'd deal with things like the yaksha's deaths and zhongli dying but i think a lot of the points we both have are still pretty similar, ESPECIALLY with him not knowing how to handle it and ESPECIALLY especially with the shock factor. the way i write him or would write his reaction to that would definitely be him just sort of Shutting Down emotionally because its too much and too overwhelming and so he kicks into like. i cant call it work mode its not really a job. but he fully focuses on fighting and finding out who couldve killed rex lapis and like. he turns his attention to things that are familiar and easier to deal with and he buries himself in them the way one would bury themselves in their work to ignore emotions yknow? and then there'd be the shock factor of "oh he Is alive" and then there's this massive pit of grief with nowhere to go because logically, reasonably, rex lapis is alive, there's nothing left to grieve. he shouldn't still be upset <- man who refuses to let himself process and feel his emotions when the emotions dont stop existing just bc he ignores them

that being said that's definitely a Pattern With Me Specifically like in the barbara fic ive been working its built off of canon but i take it SO far just bc i can :sob: and i enjoy it way too much to want to Not do that yknow? girls who struggle to process and Actually Feel their emotions writing characters strugglign to process and Actually Feel their emotions so that she can process and feel them vicariously through them <3 or something along those lines idk at this point its less that and more "wow this is really fun to write and its smth im familiar with so its easier to write as well"

my cat meowed and i stepped away for like 2 seconds to pet her and immediately lost every train of thought ive ever had in my life hopefully i wasnt gonna say anything else LMAO but no yeah self indulgent hcs and ways of interpreting characters >>>>>>>

i keep reading and rereading the way you described xiao's response to grief i am OBSESSED its so easy to imagine its so easy to see like oh my god. ohhhh my god. based as hell it suits him so well

i cannot think of anythign else to say back to the trenches i go <- finding scenes where i started in the middle or left out the endings and filling those parts in now that i dont know what else to write. its been really nice actually ive gotten a lot done just with that LMAO

[nolanfa-clayworks]

Hi!

Short version:

Before starting, think about how you'll fire your finished pieces (and buy your clay taking that into account if you can), and (for sculpture:) have a knife, a bowl of water, and a wet cloth at hand. A tournette may be useful too. Protect your table. Start.

Long version under the cut:

I second the suggestion in the comments to think about how you'll fire your pieces. If you take a class/workshop they will let you fire what you do with them at their kiln no additional charge (at least where I live), but it's much less frequent for them to accept pieces from external people (I live in a very big city and there are like half a dozen places that let you use their kiln but some only fire transparent glazes, or earthenware, or clay that they've sold to you themselves, so check for that). Also sometimes they ask for the clay's reference (to check whether it actually is fireable clay, and at which temperature), so keep that at hand (the empty wrapping if you can too, at least until you've gone there a couple times and they trust you). (you can also be like I don't care this is a problem for Later Me and I'll keep my clay unfired for four years if I have to I don't care, and that's valid too)

For actual tools I do mostly sculpture and the main tool I use is a toothless pointy knife for details and smoothing, the kind you can buy in any supermarket for like five bucks. At some point I used a spoon too for smoothing but if you use it on dryer clay I think it can leave some marks on white clay. Imo wire modelling tools (for removing the excess clay inside a sculpture so it dries better before firing) are the only sculpting tools that you really can't replace with random everyday stuff. Also a bowl of water and a wet rag/cloth/sponge to clean your hands/tools are useful.

For ease of clean up I'd say either a big plastic sheet like you'd use when kids paint, or a smooth board of some kind. And a sponge (or a scrap of cloth). A ceramics teacher of mine said to always clean clay with a wet sponge, because if you scratch it out when it's dry the powder goes into your lungs and will stay there forever, and you should try to keep your lungs empty for, yknow, air, instead of clay.

If you do big sculptures (too heavy to hold easily, or just with too many legs to hold them all at once in your hands) you may want to buy a tournette (the simplest kind of potter's wheel with no energy source, you can find the simplest ones at about 15 bucks) so you can turn it easily to reach the back without actually having to lift it. Not a must-have, but can be useful sometimes.

If you have a spray with window-cleaning product, don't throw it away when it's finished: cleaned and filled with water it can be useful to wet the clay on very hot days.

Fun thoughts but absolutely not necessary for beginners I just got carried away:

If a piece breaks when completely dry you can put (some water in the general area and then) vinegar on the break (and then add slip between the broken pieces): the vinegar will break down the dry clay a bit, much faster than water does (it makes bubbles, that's pretty fun the first time you see it), and make it faster to reach the right consistency for repairs. I recently broke a whole lot of pieces going to the kiln :'( and I'm using vinegar for the repairs.

If you're doing big pieces that don't really hold their own weight (or have tails or bits that slump), don't hesitate to temporarily put a small clay support (wrapped in plastic if possible so you can easily reuse it later) where needed, just the time for your clay to firm up a bit.

And if you have thick and thin pieces to your sculpture, think about loosely wrapping the thin ones so they'll dry at approaching the same rate as the thicker ones. Should break less that way.

Okay, I think that's it. Have fun!

do you have any advice for someone who wants to get started experimenting with clay but is overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start (aka me)?? (primarily from a logistics standpoint, not really on the creative side)

it’ll depend on your space and what kind of pottery you want to make, but you can 100% work with clay at home, with minimal supplies. mostly you just need clay and your hands. but you’ll need a place to do it where you can clean up any mess, and a few tools are definitely helpful

going to put the rest under the cut here, it might get long.

and other home studio potters, weigh in!

clay likes to stick to smooth surfaces so I suggest getting a strip of canvas to build/wedge on. I just lay mine out on my desk, but some potters staple their canvas to a board so it doesn’t move

a needle tool is very useful, but even a skewer or a butter knife will work for most things

a soft sponge or even a soft paintbrush are useful for smoothing clay and cleaning up any extra slip or rough spots

to keep your pieces from drying too fast and cracking, I suggest covering them in dry-cleaning plastic. you can also use airtight plastic containers or plastic bags

it’s helpful to have a board, tray or container to keep your pieces on, so you can cover them and move them safely while they’re still drying. but damp clay can cause mold so if you use something wooden, it might get moldy. I often lay some plastic wrap over my wooden boards for my pieces to sit on

putting clay down your sink is really bad for your sink. it will require a plumber to fix it. just don’t put clay down the sink. I wash my tools in a bucket and after the clay has settled to the bottom, I skim the clear water off the top and pour it out, and leave the wet clay at the bottom. eventually I can even reclaim the clay in my bucket and reuse it

if you enjoy/want to try slab building, I recommend going to the dollar store or a second hand store. cheap plates and bowls make great slump molds

if you’re still feeling overwhelmed, pick a fairly simple project and watch a tutorial! notice what the potter’s space looks like and what tools they use, that might help you get started

hopefully this was helpful and answered your question

good luck!

[clockworkrobotic]

The Tragic Saga of the Goncharov Tie-In Game (1995)

so since everyone has discovered goncharov i get to talk about a personal fascination of mine, which is the wild n wacky tale of the goncharov video game tie in. If youre thinking "what the hell are you talking about, there wasn't a video game tie in" theres a reason for that, bear with me

so the game came out sometime around 1995 (different sources place it at various points between 1994 and 1995), and it was one of the first properties to be licenced by sony for a console. It was originally planned to be a SNES-CD release until that console was cancelled, at which point it was ported to the playstation. if youre wondering why goncharov got a tie in like twenty years after the film released, that's kind of why it's so unheard of. sony was testing the waters with its new hardware to see if there was an older audience for gaming, and a few investors were willing to put some money behind the idea. it was actually pretty well-funded all things considered, with a budget of around $1.1m, and the gameplay was similar to that of goldeneye, which released a couple of years later. it was also fairly sophisticated, featuring branching decision trees and several different endings (I think 4? there isn't a lot of gameplay footage available, but there were at least 4)

unfortunately, development was plagued with problems from the get go. Despite its healthy budget, the studio couldn't convince any of the original cast to return to do voice work. Of course they couldn't, the film was two decades old -- you think harvey keitel was gonna bail on pulp fiction to appear in some experimental video game? of course not. so the dev team went for the next best thing: soundalikes.

the problem is, the soundalike VAs they hired weren't used to doing longform work. don't get me wrong, they did their darndest, but their experience was very much rooted in things like radio commercials and short voiceovers. they hadn't really had to act before. oh, and all but one of them hadn't seen the movie. the anecdote goes that they showed up on day one expecting a couple of days work tops, and much to their shock were handed several dozen pages of script (remember the decision trees? branching dialogue baby) and told they were employed for the next six months. Good for them, I think?

The voice acting really suffered from this. a lot of it feels very stilted, it ruins the immersion. yknow how in elder scrolls oblivion all the voice lines were recorded in alphabetical order? It sounds similar to that (altho personally i think the goncharov voice acting is a bit better lol). the directors and actors really struggled to pull everything together.

the result was that, while the game itself definitely wasn't bad, it was outright innovative in places, critics really couldn't get past the baffling performances, which they near-unanimously agreed made the game a slog. someone suggested the game should be played on mute with goncharov the film playing on a second tv, though went on to say that you wouldn't even finish the game then, because you'd just end up watching the far superior goncharov film instead. The game flopped, causing its global release to be cancelled, and was only ever distributed in the UK, Australia, and Japan.

the game had a brief stint as a cult classic, garnering a small online fandom in the early days on the internet. there is allegedly an italian fan translation out there somewhere, although a copy has never surfaced and it is considered lost media. a couple of people have come forward claiming to have worked on it -- they also claim to have met in the neopets forums of all places. i believe them -- and there are a couple of youtube videos showcasing what appears to be an italian fandub, but without the game files it's not possible to know whether theyre real or edited in post.

so now you know the story of goncharov the movie the game, my favourite game i've never played and probably never will. while it may well have been a missed opportunity, i like to think it paved the way for such classics as enter the matrix, and ratatouille the movie the game, and what would the world be like without them?

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[aeolid-funkt]

Vi not looking at the audience is what I think really validates this take. She's actively shell shocked and giving jinx's arm a teary, 1000 yd stare instead of facing the broader world, wheras Jinx is fully staring at the POV, and doesn't look confused in the slightest. I mean, she looks idk, disdainful and a tiny bit pouty. But she KNOWS what's happening. And the position she's holding vi in puts her in control. (Also, note: height difference... sry imagining jinx is on a stool for this)

The contrast between how present they are is insane. Jinx is inhuman and has dark circles like she hasn't slept in2days, but she's looking right at you w full presence of mind. But like, Vi is LOST. She is GONE. She looks so out of her depths in her new dynamic with Jinx, but she's still focusing on that (how scary it is, how sad she feels etc) instead of facing how different everything is-- bc she has no clue what the hells happening & my girl's still on stage 1 of grief. I mean, Jinx knows the Lanes in and out by now, and she probably knows a lot about who in power pulls what strings via silco. Dhdndh. It's the way jinx is now is so far removed from what Vi expected and knew. Jinx is now competent and driven, while Vi is still reeling and goalless, and she's not able to find purchase or comfort in that old dynamic where she is the guide, because Jinx has outgrown it, and Jinx has her own plan now(which I assume is to rain hell on piltover) but also is still like very obsessed w her

I think the idea that Jinx is trying to convince Vi to see everything her way also falls in line really nicely with the ending of ep9 bc Jinx basically decides to exercise her power on her own terms. if Vi isn't with her, she's gonna be on her warpath anyways, but she'd still like it if her sister were on her side yknow? she doesn't really want to hurt vi, but people are going to get hurt, and she wants vi to be an ally even if nothing else is the same. Bc she only has 1 family left total, and it's just vi, and every other bridge is burnt or actively burning . The goal is to avoid shooting vi bc she shot silco and that was yk yk

Also, i feel like 'protective' needs a massive tone indicator on it lmao. I mean, being in Jinx's corner does grant you protection bc Jinx defends what's hers, but it comes with a whole caking of possessiveness. The way she's cradling Vi should look comforting, but Vi's expression and Jinx's slight pout make it look like Vi's more 'in her clutches' than under her protection. Like, can she BREATHE??? Ok it's not that weird of a hug, I'm just imagining how it'd feel to be vi and it seems uncomfy. the vibes are not good. It's more like how you'd hold a stuffed animal without any regard for like... its discomfort. vi was not solely holding powders head in the prev promo poster.. it was a fairly normal looking hug. But Jinx's pose basically just says. This is my emotional support/devastation vi. You can't have her. you also can't hurt her or I'll kill you. Look-- Silco hugged her exactly like that regularly and she was very happy about being smothered to death via a head cage I'm sure.

This is rapidly becoming a ramble. Ok yeah

I think people focus on the initial promo vs s2 promo too much as a symbol of protection tbh like maybe it is true that both within actual plot and within characterisation jinx feels like and is protecting vi from some sort of power shift in zaun/piltover. but I think it's also somewhat a symbol of a power shift in their relationship- because vi was the one who Got It, the one who knew how things run, the capable one. and now she's in post s1 zaun, she doesn't know anything about how the power balance in zaun works anymore, she's dating a cop who knows even less (god bless caitlyns stupid ass she doesnt know anything) and her sister isn't even fully human anymore - and jinx is the one who Knows, even if she's insane. if she's going against piltover, then she's also suddenly the one with a real goal and I imagine the heart of conflict between them will be vis refusal to accept what jinx believes is the only way forward. then she's not just signaling this shift in their dynamic, she's not protecting vi from outside forces - she is attempting to shield her from the threat she is bring on everyone herself. and that's TEA

[joshstambourine]

A Seconds Glance

"Hi I have a request for either Josh or Jake 💛 can I get a story where they see a girl, either at school or they can already be famous in this, and is instantly enamored. I don't know if you've seen The Virgin Suicides, but if you have then something similar to when Trip sees Lux for the first time. I'm interested in how those two would go about getting a girl's attention when they have a crush.💕💕💕" - Anonymous

//Hi Doll! I can’t say I have seen that--- but I will try my best to write something that I feel matches the idea you had. 

I’m gonna be repeating this forever--- but again, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this request out for you! I decided to go with Josh being in school for this one.//

Warnings: Cursing, awkward beans

Word Count: 1969

Synopsis: Josh had never really believed in love at first sight... but yet....

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

The first day of sophomore year. For most this was just the start of another school year; a sudden reminder that a new binder or fun pencil case is exciting for all of 10 minutes when it comes to actual classes and work. But for Josh… this year felt like it was filled with possibilities. It sounds like some sort of stupid thing you'd see on a motivational calendar, but it really truly did.

Josh hadn't imagined for a second that he actually would have a chance in making music his career; and yet, he had spent all summer with his band mates playing for different occasions and pubs. All the while they were working, working hard on writing songs that they could be proud to play for others.

All of that said, Josh was returning to high-school this year with a new found amount of confidence and excitement; it showed in every step Josh took. His one hand held loosely on to the arm of his backpack, walking in time with Jake.

"But what do you think? Would it look good on me?" Jake inquired, fingers lightly playing with the mid-length pieces of hair on his head.

"I mean… I don't know…" Josh lightly starts, glancing at his twin and begins to take a good long look at him.

Jake's eyes widened just a touch, his expression becoming one that said, 'Well…?'

"Uh… honestly I don't really know Jake. I've never seen you with anything else than this." Josh admits, then snickers a little, "Except for that one time when we decided it'd be fun to take those scissors and---"

"No, that's fine, I didn't need to think about that." Jake immediately stopped him, his hand going to take a full dive into his mess of dark brown hair. 

"Cmon, it was really funny though. Ma really lost her shit when she saw your head like that." Josh continued to muse, hands folding into his pockets with the utmost of ease. 

Jake shook his head in a mournful way, "I can say I will never go back to a buzz-cut again… not without a fight."

Josh's smile never faltered, it was his laughter that changed, softening into a bit of a sigh as they reached the double doors at the front of the school. With a swing of the doors they both were making their way down the hallway to their lockers.

"Meet by Mr.Shapiro's class before lunch?" Jake questioned, to which Josh nodded. No matter which school the twins went to the teachers seemed to know that the best course of action was to keep them separated. That said Josh and Jake always had separate homerooms at least, through most of their time in school.

"See ya in a bit." Josh waved, taking a few steps back before turning on his heels and heading to his own locker.

Josh's excitement to be back in class showed on his face more than he probably would have wanted. A few pencils in his hand along with a binder filled with blank paper and tucked away dividers.  

As soon as Josh stepped into the class room his eyes were met with many familiar faces. Some of these people he had been in school with since kindergarten; like Meg, a rather tall blunt faced girl with long kinky black hair. She simply threw a peace sign Josh's way as he stepped through the doors; he eagerly returned it, bringing a small smile to Meg's lips. 

With some brisk steps Josh moved to place himself at the back of the classroom, just behind Meg. He threw his things on his desk without much thought. Despite there being a good number of kids he knew... there seemed to be equally just as many new kids. 

Leaning on his desk Josh moved closer to Meg, "Where the hell did these guys come from?" 

Meg's brow lifted as she leaned back a little, "Know the high-school on the east side?" 

"The one where you can get crack for super cheap?" Josh inquired, 

Meg's head bobbed, "They closed it down, so now we get half the kids that went there." She explains with her head resting on her hand in a bored way. 

"Oh shit really? That's a lot of kids---" Josh was quick to respond, glancing around the room. 

"Oh yeah... way too many in my personal opinion --- not that anyone cares." Meg mutters, beginning to click her mechanical pencil. 

Josh's eyes were still taking in all the new faces as he started to respond, "Wow aren't we positive today." 

Meg sighed, "Eh.... I'm just not excited, Justin and I broke up over the summer and I'll have to see him in history." She began to explain, "Things are just really tense, yknow?" 

She waited a moment for him to give some comforting... but still idiotic response, however none came. It finally got Meg to turn and look at him, as she did she immediately noticed that Josh's eyes had widened just a touch, cheeks dusted a light pink. 

Meg followed the line of his eyes to a beautiful young woman. The expression he wore was more than enough to tell Meg that she should move. 

Josh was so busy just... taking the new girl in that he didn't even notice Meg slip to the free desk to the side of the one she was previously sat in. Josh just couldn't put his finger on it, there was something... something so breathtaking about her. Was it her eyes? Or maybe how her hair fell around her face? He couldn't be sure. What he was absolutely sure of was that he had never had a moment in his life where he could hear music just by looking at someone. 

"Hey... do you know if this desk is free?" A new voice shook Josh. It was her. She was standing at a desk to his left with a bit of an awkward air. 

He was just so shaken. What did she say again? Something about a desk? Josh's lips parted, "Uh--- I uh, what did you--?" 

"No that one isn't open, but the one just in front of my dude Josh is, right Josh?" Meg interrupted, pointing to the desk ahead of him. 

"Oh y-yeah, that one's open! Definitely 100% open! It couldn't be more open even if it tried!" Josh started spouting, he really wasn't even aware that his mouth had moved, and that was clear in the fact that it just kept moving when she had come to sit down. "Do you need any pencils at all?? I have like 20!" He continued, though his hand held one full sized pencil and one shorter than the average person's pinkie... both chewed on. "I mean not on me but--- who needs a pencil right?" 

The girl laughed a little awkwardly, her gaze moving from Josh to Meg and then to the desk. "No, no I'm okay thank you though." She slipped into the chair, keeping her gaze frontwards. 

Meg looks to Josh with a shocked look, 'What was that??' She mouthed, 

Josh responded with an absolutely mortified expression. He would never say he was the smoothest guy on the planet, but he had never been that awkward in his life. 

Meg shook her head before reaching out to tap the girl's shoulder, "I'm Meg!" She introduces, "And that goober is Josh." 

The girl lightly moved to glance over her shoulder at Josh in a shy way. "It's nice to meet you both. I'm (Y/N)." She hummed with a sweet smile. 

"That's a pretty name, isn't it Josh??" Meg quickly said, trying to get him to continue the conversation in a less awkward way.

Josh nodded very enthusiastically, "The prettiest name I've heard in a long time!" He said with a smile, 

(Y/N)'s cheeks began to hold a flush of their own. "Oh! Uh... th-thank you!" She sputtered out. 

'OH FUCK. She's so cute.' Josh thought to himself, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with a shaky swallow. 

Little did Josh know that (Y/N) was thinking something very similar. She might not make it as obvious as he was, but being so much closer now... being able to see the warmth in his brown eyes, seeing how his wavy brown hair came to cup his cheeks --- she couldn't help but continue to stare back at him. 

The only thing that could pull them both out of the little trance they had fallen into was the bell. Both of them quickly looked toward it, followed by a man's voice at the front of the class. 

"Alright everyone, take your seats!" 

(Y/N) was reluctant but she turned herself to look toward the front of the class. A little bit nervous, but mustering an ounce of courage she tore a piece of paper from her notebook quietly and began to scribble something down. 

Josh hardly got anything out of that language arts class, he was way too busy trying to figure out what excuse he could make to talk with (Y/N) again. He was just rattling through every little conversation starter he had ever heard in his life... but none of them felt like they would work. 

Before long the bell had rung overhead once more and everyone was shuffling to grab their things and head to all of their next classes. 

Biting his lip, Josh was determined to catch (Y/N) before she could head off to her own next class. Luckily for him she had a similar idea. Both turning to each other as they stepped out of the classroom, it was painfully quiet at first. It seemed as if they were trying to get their thoughts together really. 

Finally they spoke, 

"Hey would you---" "I was wondering if you'd---" 

At once. 

A small awkward laugh left their lips, "Please, go ahead I was going to say something dumb---" Josh quickly said moving to rub the back of his neck. 

(Y/N)'s lips parted as she let out and unsure chuckle, eyes moving downwards for a moment. "I was just going to ask if you would mind if I joined you for lunch? I just am new and don't really have any---" 

"Yes!" Josh quickly said, "Yes absolutely. You didn't even have to ask, you could have just showed up if you wanted to!" He quickly says to her. 

The speed he seemed to talk at entertained (Y/N) a heck of a lot. A smile creeping across her face, "Okay! Thank you!" She responded. 

"Do you know where the cafeteria is? I can show ya if you want??" Josh quickly continued, "I mean I'm sure you could find it on you're own, you seem very smart and capable. Most women are to be honest; I remember reading an article about how men need to---" 

"That would be really great actually." (Y/N) smiled in a gentle way. 'He's even more nervous than I am.' She thought to herself. 

"Oh-oh! Okay cool! Uh, do you know where Mr.Shapiro's class is?" He asks, 

(Y/N) seemed to think for a minute, "113... right? I have him for chemistry this afternoon I think." She mutters. 

Josh swiftly nods his head, "That's the one!! Meet me there okay?" He says. 

(Y/N) nodded back, understanding the little plan they now had. "I'll see you in a little bit then?" She lightly asks. 

"Yeah absolutely." Josh began to grin, suddenly beyond excited. Even as she began to walk off to her class all he could think about was how sure he was now that this year was going to be fantastic. 

That was until a warning bell played overhead, "Oh shit--" Josh jumped in shock, immediately beginning to run to his next class.

//That's all for now lovely! I do actually have an idea on how to continue this one if anyone would like! Pretty please let me know in the comments if that's something you guys would like 💜//

[wychive]

𝙮𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 — 𝙝. 𝙝𝙟

fic type // letter fic - 2.0k words

summary // hyunjin finds his pile of hidden letters for you and he decided to write one last time

pairing(s) // hyunjin x fem!reader, hyunjin x oc

genre(s) // PG16 & angst

warning(s) // mentions of food, cussing

author's note // hello hello the second part of unspoken words is here <3 im sorry you all had to wait such a long time! but here is hyunjin’s pov from the first part which is y/n’s pov. please listen to coldplay’s yellow while reading as it was the inspiration for this! this is slightly crappier than the first but its okay :’) i hope you all enjoy this! thank you for reading muah muah

general taglist // @omigogames, @crvgio, @luthenia

send an ask to be in my taglist !

[20/03/14, 10:30pm]

hey y/n/n,

im writing these to let out some things i've been holding in,, some of them i cant say in front of you because im so scared of what will happen, to you and more importantly to us. i'll write another one soon, goodbye.

- your jinnie

[19/04/14, 03:00am]

hi hello dumb dumb,

your smile was gorgeous, as always. i just wanted to say that because you seem like you've been in the dumps lately. i hope everything is okay at home. i'm glad we video called today, you seemed so alone. if i were you, I'd say thank you, haha,, i'm bringing you something tomorrow. i hope you like it since you always liked these sweets. i'm bringing some for our new friend too! i'll see you tomorrow, princess.

- your prince hyunjin

[19/05/15, 12:30am]

hi lovergirl :)

i hope you have a really good birthday, i can't wait to see you and yeon. were gonna have so much fun at the beach, with the sand in our feet and the salty wind from the sea. i'm bringing my disposable camera tomorrow and i hope we'll use it well. other than that, i hope to see you happy for the rest of our lives. promise me to stay strong? thats my best girl! thank you for being here since the start, i can't imagine how life would be without you. i love you so much, lovely.

- your lil berry jin

[09/06/15, 08:39pm]

hey y/n/n,

i hope you're doing well there at home. you're probably dying of hotness and boredness without me hehe,, but i'm sorry, it's called a family trip for a reason. germany is so pretty and it's wow… you would love it so much. maybe i'll take you here one day, just the two of us :) i mean, yeon can come too if she likes, it's no biggie. but,,, you, yknow? for old times sake. by the way, do you know why yeon keeps calling me? she says it's because she's bored but i'm not sure if i quite understand,,, as you're bored too. why don't you both be bored together? the trio will get back in the fall don't worry about it but for now you guys be lonely together :>

- your puppy, hyunjin

[15/06/15, 2:19pm]

hey y/n/n,

i bought you some local snacks. i can't wait to see you again. i love you, dork.

- your hyunnie

[30/06/15, 3:00am]

y/n,

i'm glad to see you still being.. you even after we stopped talking regularly. yeonnie tells me you've been trying to interact with others at your school? i'm so happy for you but don't forget me loser hehe. i'll see you soon, hopefully, alright?

- your dandelion, hyunjin

[18/07/15, 2:15am]

yo y/n/n,

i hope you're doing okay. i think i have feelings for yeon but i'm not sure,,, i just get butterflies when i'm around her and i think she has it too. what do you think? maybe i can confess to her soon? idk why i can't tell you this, directly i mean. am i scared? i don't know. im sorry we talk less than we already do. i really am. maybe i'll text you later, who knows. i'll see you soon.

- your starlight, hyunjin

[25/07/15, 5:00pm]

hi,

it's been a while. i guess you heard that yeonbin and i got together a few days ago. i dont know why i'm writing a fake letter to you when we don't talk anymore but i hope you're not too surprised over it. she's so incredible, y/n. she makes me so so happy, i don't even know how she does it,, and her little dimples. god, i may have just met the love of my life. she radiates such a blue-ish colour. i see a little bit of you in her everytime she smiles though, is that weird? no- i don't know-,, i think you'll say 'i think you're in love with me instead of her' and you'll put on a smirk. dumbass. well, i'll figure it out soon. see you around.

- hyunnie

[25/05/15, 04:30am]

y/n/n,

i think i still love you.

- your angel, hyunjin

[20/??/15, ??:??]

im sorry

y/n i'm so so sorry that she did that to you. i had no idea she was this cruel. i told her that y'know maybe i still love you. keyword maybe. she freaked out. this is all my fault. y/n im so sorry please forgive me, she went through my stuff without asking. i don't know what has gotten into her lately. please, please, forgive me. oh how i could just hug you right now if i weren't so selfish. again, i'm so so sorry.

- hyunjin

[15/12/15, 5:00am]

hello

i miss when we used to stay up and stare at the stars while they shine for us. i miss your stupid questions whenever everything was quiet. i miss the way you would kiss my forehead when everything was going numb. i miss you, so so much. please, come back. i don't care if you would be my best friend, please, just be in my life again.

- the one missing you

[01/01/20, 12:00am]

hey, you

happy new years! its been a while, hasn't it? i hope you're doing okay. i am, too, fortunately.

im writing you for the last time to tell you something i should have,, many many years ago.

i love you, sweet moonlight. i'm sorry i didn't say it sooner. i wish i did, i wish i was the one holding you through the night. i wish i was the one who makes you smile every day. i wish i was the one who made you breakfast in bed on our anniversaries. i wish, i wish, i wish i was yours, y/n. i don't know why i'm releasing so late that i should've asked you out after that failed attempt. im sorry, y/n, that i made your life such a burden. i'm so sorry that i loved you so much that i let you go too early. i'm so so sorry.

i would go back to you if you'd let me. i would be your best friend again if it made you happy. i would be your boyfriend if we fell in love. i would turn back time if i could, to go back to when i confessed to yeonbin. it should've been you, y/n. it was always you. please, i want to feel your touch and your soothing voice. come back to me, because i would go back to you. i love you, i love you, i love you.

i miss your smile that gives off yellow. i miss the yellow flowers you used to give my sister when she was down. i miss the yellow hat you used to use all the time. you're my favourite colour, y/n. you're my yellow.

- the one that made a mistake, hwang hyunjin.

[mementofloreo-archived]

@sorrowmarked​: His first response startles her, she’s about to object when he apologizes for saying it. A frown still tugs at her lips. Not because of his reaction to her confession, but because his first impulse was to assume he wasn’t good enough for her. Her brows pinched together, “Hey, it’s okay,” she said, reaching over to comfort him, her fingers brushing his knuckles. “And that’s not true." Most days she didn’t feel she she was good enough for him, but love wasn’t about worth. Love was about loving. It was a verb. It was an action. It was a choice. She loved him. She chose to. Maybe if she was lucky he would choose to love her back. And she would do her best to respect him, and treat him with kindness, and trust him, and support him, and be his biggest cheerleader. But worth didn’t factor into it. It was all … just action, and choice. What she decided to do, for the person she loved. Now that she had said it, now that she had done it, she didn’t feel so nervous now. There was no worry hanging over her head. There was just this. The after, the what came next. He’d tell her he returned his feelings, or he he would tell her he didn’t. Suddenly all that worry felt so … silly. Of course, they’d still be friends after this. Of course. Because that’s how they worked. They’d always be best friends. But then he was smiling at her and his eyes were watery, and she knew. Knew where this was going. Should have just told him ages ago. I worry too much over nothing. He pulled her in close and her arms wrapped around him, her cheek against his chest. There’s never been anybody but you, she didn’t know if she felt guilty or elated. Both, she guessed. Her hands tightened on the back of his shirt, bunching in the fabric. "I wasn’t as quick on the uptake,” she said, voice soft, and warm, smile bleeding into her words. “I just needed the time to realize that I loved you,” she said. She paused, “That’s not right, I’ve always loved you,” she said, which he should know. “I just needed to realize I was in love with you." Closing her eyes she paused a moment, listening to the way his heart was pounding in his chest. "You’re my best friend Daisuke,” she whispered. “My life has always been better, my days have always been better, because I have you. I remember how lonely it was before I met you,” two little kids, prone to illness, unable to run and play like they wanted to. He’d become her best friend fast. Stayed her best friend. “You’re my best friend, and the guy I love, I think both can be true,” she whispered. Her arms tightened around him. “Both probably should be true, and I am proud that you’re my best friend. I’m proud you’re the guy I love. I sometimes … god I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Because if you could you’d know there was no one better than you. No one else with your heart, and your kindness, and your compassion, and your optimism. You amaze me every single day.”

[I put this under a cut because it's SO FUCKING LONG????? Have fun reading the extended lotr script I guess LMAO??? Daisuke is extremely smooth here tho tbh]

"...In your defense, I probably didn't make it an easy conclusion to reach," Daisuke says on the tail end of a chuckle rumbling through his chest. The sensation brings with it the odd realization that it's actually been quite some time since he really hugged her, and the last time he did his voice was still only just starting to change.

It'll probably still deepen a little more before he finishes growing, but what used to be a cracking, faltering high tenor is now balanced and smooth and almost baritone. Limbs that were wiry and angular are lean and strong and growing stronger by the day. And he was babyfaced even into his third year of middle school, but when he looks in the mirror now his face is stronger, sharper, almost a little rugged- especially since he's started needing to shave every few days.

In fact, until near the end of third grade, Hikari was taller than him.

They're on the edge of their second year of high school now. Then it'll be their third and final year, they'll graduate...he winces internally at the prospect of having to fill out career plan forms, but what really has his focus is just how long it's been and how much has changed.

They've known each other since before they could string together proper sentences. Since a time when Daisuke was even more timid and prone to crying than her.

He hasn't recalled in a very long time that the reason he first started working so hard to be more assertive and outgoing- to be stronger, tougher, braver- was all because he wanted to be someone who could protect and support her. Not because she needed him, but because she was a source of incredible fortitude for him. Someone who shone brighter than the white hot light of a summer sun.

He'd worked hard to be strong and brave all because Hikari had been his hero. On a bigger level than even Taichi ever was. Taichi was and still is a mentor, a role model, a brother to him. But he knows that if not for meeting Hikari, if not for her friendship, he never would have dared to break out of that timid, isolated little shell. Everything that makes him strong ultimately stems from her, even though he's never told her that.

A hazy, old memory comes to him, and he finds himself recounting it to her out loud without really thinking about it. "...You know, the first thing I ever learned to 'cook'- putting it loosely...it was instant ramen. The kind you cook in a pot, yknow? We were probably in first grade, I think?"

He's holding her more loose and relaxed now, chin nestled atop her head. "You'd been in bed with a fever for a couple of days, and I think at first I was just there to drop off some handouts from school that you needed to catch up on. Neither of us had very many other friends yet."

"Taichi was probably out with friends or something, and your mom was leaving on an errand just as I was arriving and let me in...and you were just waking up when I let myself into your room to check on you."

A quiet laugh bubbles out of him, "...I couldn't even get a word out before you mumbled about being hungry 'for the first time in forever'. 'Course, I knew just how hard a fever could hit your appetite and how much of a pain in the neck it was once it finally came back. I think I stood there all of two seconds before I dropped the handouts and my stuff and turned right around to let myself into the kitchen."

"I don't know how I managed to get everything together but I remember dragging a chair from the dining room so I could reach the cabinets and the stove, opening about a million drawers before I found any measuring cups for the water...I at least knew roughly how much heat I needed for boiling water- probably wouldn't have tried to mess with the stove otherwise, I think."

"...Anyway, I think I undercooked it just a little, but your mom commented all dry and deadpan that she was just thankful I didn't start a fire, once she got back. I ladled out bowls for both of us and I couldn't find a tray or anything so my goofy ass just scrambled to your room as fast as I could without spilling and set them on the kotatsu. While making a noise that probably sounded like a teakettle all heated up."

He snorts at that, "That particular strain of brainlessness has always been a hallmark of me, I guess. Still. You looked so relieved, seemed so glad that I'd thought to make something that would be light on the stomach. Most of all, though..."

He pulls away, dropping his hands to his lap. "I'd never seen you anywhere near that happy because of anything I'd done. It was the first time I'd ever felt like I'd actually done something worthwhile for you, at a time when you were still the only friend I had. I felt so powerful in that moment, more powerful than I ever have since."

Shyly, gingerly, he lifts a hand and brushes some hair out of her face. "I stared up at the clouds all the way home that day and I clung to that feeling for as long as I could, and I knew. I knew then that if it was for you I could become anything in the world, do the most impossible things, carry the heaviest weights. I didn't have the words then, of course. I was six and barely reading. But I felt it. And god, I understood that feeling more intimately than anything else the world had ever taught me."

He knows he's probably pink up to his hairline at this point, but isn't it about time he actually told her how significant she's been? In completely frank and honest terms, without the joking or the melodrama?

"You said that you wish I could see in me what you see in me." His fingers trace down her cheek, "But sometimes I think I do. All I have to do is look at you, and I see myself. Everything I've been, everything I want to be, everything that drives me forward and compels that compassion you're talking about, none of it could ever have sprouted or grown if I hadn't met you."

"I could never have stood and taken my first steps outside of myself if you hadn't been holding my hand." he continues, "And every step forward I've taken since then, I've taken it hoping beyond anything else that I could give you even an ounce of what you've given me."

His hands are shaking when he takes her face more firmly, and his eyes are a little misty again. "I didn't always know I was in love with you, Hikari. But since the moment we met you've been something even stronger than the sun for me. You're the gravity that keeps me grounded so I can run. And what is there to make us fall if not gravity, right?"

It's a horrible, corny line to end on and it has him smiling awkwardly. But even so he leans in, and he presses a firm kiss to the center of her forehead, holding it there for a long moment, only to rest his own against hers when he pulls away. "There's nobody I'd rather have as my core."

[reimeichan]

Might as well do this

1. So, yknow how the way you think about and interact with the world is dependent on a lot of your own experiences and memories and stuff? Imagine what would happen if your brain decided to cordone off some of those experiences and memories from you and let that sit and simmer and develop its own sentience.

2. It's confusing, especially before we understood what exactly was going on with our head, but it's also interesting in a way. Because we grew up like this, I can't really imagine living my life any other way and to me this is my norm, so trying to compare this to what a singlet may experience is difficult since I'm not aware of what an "average" person's life is like. There's honestly too much to cover here that I'm not sure one post will be enough to cover everything. If I had to break it down into a few points:

- Evidence of Trauma: flashbacks, maladaptive coping, depression/anxiety, personality disorders, eating disorders, etc. This isn't like, a constant thing btw. Sometimes we get triggered. Usually we live life without caring about being triggered.

- Amnesia: from the small "why did I come into the kitchen again?" to the larger "how did I even get to the park?" to the larger "where am I and what year is it?" to the blackout "I have no fucking clue what happened and at this point I'm too afraid to ask". Usually it's the small, subtle hints of memory loss and amnesia, which may present more like generic bad memory or short term memory loss and not "amnesia" for most people. Your friends remind you of things you've said or done but you have no memory of that at all.

- Contradictions: saying you're in the mood for some curry and your friends bring up you HATE curry much to your confusion, you find yourself crying but you don't feel upset, alternatively you're smiling and even laughing outwardly but inside you want to set the world on fire, one moment you're having a panic attack and hyperventilating, then the next second you're walking into work calmly stoically, you constantly feel like you're warring with yourself over conflicting wants and needs ranging from "what do I wanna eat tonight?" to "should I break up with my partner RIGHT NOW and move all the way to a different country?"

- Dissociation: Feeling like you're not really a part of the world, feeling detached from your experiences and memories, feeling like your body is moving on its own without you telling it what to do, hearing yourself say things you'd never say

- Internal Commentary: any time anyone does something or sees something or whatever, there's usually another background thought commenting on it like a narrator in a book or a snarky friend or whatever. Dog runs over? "Oo, puppy!" I hear in my head. I burn my hand while cooking? "Good job, clumsykins", says my brain.

3. DID/OSDD/PDID/CDDs in general all look and present differently from individual to individual. Some people struggle with the symptoms of their CDD more, others may find it an inconvenience, still others embrace it and find no trouble living with the disorder.

4. Feel free to reach out to us specifically if you'd like to ask us more in-depth questions about our experiences with DID, we're always more than happy to talk to others and our ask and DMs are open.

Hi!

So im doing a research project on DID in class and wanted to get some opinions and personal opinions from people who actually have DID, rather than exclusively relying on medical info. So, if you'd like to pass this on to your followers, I have some questions.

(Specifically only for people with DID in this case, just since that's what I'm researching, I know there are plenty of other ways to be plural)

-what is, in your opinion, the best way to summarize DID? like, describe it in 1-2 sentences briefly.

-what is it like living with DID? Any details are appreciated

-what is something that is unlikely to be found on medical websites that is good to know and add to my project?

-anything else you want to add

Answer as many as you want

I hope this is okay to send here

Hello! We’re diagnosed with DID, so we’ll gladly answer these questions and encourage our followers with DID to do the same!

[1] As we’d define it, DID (dissociative identity disorder) is a mental disorder characterized by dissociation and two or more separate self-states or personalities in individuals with a history of repeated childhood trauma.

[2] Living with DID is certainly challenging. We deal with lots of memory issues and daily amnesia, trauma flashbacks, a lack of a sense of self and identity, and lots of depersonalization/derealization. Our DID has in some part caused us to develop other mental disorders like depression and anxiety, and we have trauma-induced psychosis as a result of our trauma history which caused us to develop DID.

There’s also been lots of good moments that have come from our disorder. Being a system means we’re able to support, uplift, and be there for one another inside. We’re working on developing a sense of inner-community and showing each other compassion and respect. It’s a work in progress, and we rely on therapy, meds, and our spouse to help us progress and improve!

We made a post on what a typical day looks like for us as a system if you’d like more info - you can check it out here!

[3] That DID systems are people, not merely patients, test subjects, or statistics. We’re not problems to be solved and we’re more of a danger to ourselves than to society at large. DID is widely misunderstood and heavily stigmatized in society, and media often frames us as violent, evil, or incapable of taking care of ourselves - all of which could not be further from the truth. It’s up to us as individuals (singlets included!) to educate ourselves on plurality and dissociative disorders so we can break down negative social stigma and push towards awareness and equality for systems of all sorts!

[4] Nothing else to add, but good luck on your research project! We hope some of this info is useful for you - keep in mind that what we’ve shared are our opinions and perspectives as just one DID system. Other systems may have differing experiences and worldviews!

Thanks so much! And to our followers with DID, please feel welcome to answer these questions to help this asker collect more information for their project!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker