#which would imply that all other pokemon would be the same level of being considered a person even if theyre nonfamily

[minuteminun]

nintendo and gamefreak treat your pokemon consistently challenge

like either they are sapient beings similar to humans to the point they can have conversations and be considered the same or they are hunter and farmed animals with powers making them both has weird implications

[huntunderironskies]

Still thinking about how high level competitive play (as inspired by VGC stuff) would transfer over to actual real-life Pokemon. I think the biggest nuance is that you'd have to make sure that the Pokemon in double battles like...actually get along and work well together. The overwhelming majority of Pokemon at least seem to generally be social creatures so presumably they could pack bond with each other, but I would imagine swapping out teammates is something you would have to do very sparingly, especially since training Pokemon is probably a matter of months to years. Them suddenly having to adjust to a new teammate isn't something you'd do within a competitive season since it'd throw off your game.

...Man, this just makes me want to dedicate some daydreaming time to how breeding and trading would work in a high-pressure environment. I would imagine that selling Pokemon is considered to be pretty awful, but I'm not sure if that'd stop groups from forming who'd exchange eggs amongst each other.

(Vaguely adjacent to the point: one of my favorite headcanons I ever saw in a fanfic was that Pokemon are uniquely good at learning languages, even moreso than humans, though on a species-by-species basis they might be deficient in other areas. This was supposed to account for how quickly wild Pokemon pick up on human speech and how Pokemon seem to functionally speak each others' languages. It was one of those fics that was trying to be realistic, which in Pokemon fanfic can often translate into needless over-the-top grimdarkness, but it ended up not going wholly that route. Which is good, because while I like detail-oriented realism, the super edgy "POKEMON TRAINING IS SLAVERY" or focusing super hard on violence or warfare gets dull. I'm here for befriending the magical animals/possessed machinery/trashbags and defeating bad guys or friendly rivals with the power of friendship.)

That could go a long way towards creating dark horse picks, especially since if you can't travel regularly to other regions. Free public transit...seems to be a thing, unless you're in Lumiose City in which case the cabbies will charge you, but there'd still be logistics involved and it's hard to say if cross-regional transit from areas further than Kanto and Johto (since the Goldenrod train doesn't charge) would be expensive. And, well, everything seems to indicate that the overwhelming majority of trainers don't make much money.

All that's to say that creating the same sort of perfect team comps you see in VGC wouldn't realistically be common...at all. I'm really glad we've apparently gotten past the old mentality of legendaries being literally one-of-a-kind gods, Arceus possibly notwithstanding since they seem to be capable of creating avatars of themself which gets into some rough philosophy-of-self territory, but I'd still imagine legendaries are one of those things you'd see once in a blue moon. They probably don't breed in captivity as indicated by the fact...they don't breed, which might imply that most of them are more akin to endangered species who are mostly outcompeted by Pokemon who are less specialized and capable of breeding quickly but hanging on due to just sheer power. If they are solitary that's probably not doing them any favors either.

(I also have THOUGHTS about the whole Pokemon-as-gods things and how people without a religious studies background can read it wrong since at least in Hisui and, probably, Alola they're more akin to kami and kami-as-gods-in-the-Abrahamic-sense is a vastly oversimplified view of Shinto spirituality, but that's getting into religious studies nerdery and honestly my focus area is not that so I'm not even sure if I can do the whole discussion justice.)

Point is, while it's probably super showy to pull up with a Heatran or whatever it's still another Pokemon and can lose. And they might be harder to work with training-wise. A lot of legendaries are just objectively not that good in a competitive environment strictly in the games while some "common" Pokemon are actually really good. Though, a lot of them are also really good but you'd have to find something else that can fill their niche. Someone having to work around what they'd have to get access to and both get along with themself and what would vibe with the rest of their team personality-wise is fun to think about.

I think my one difficulty is boardstate manipulation (e.g. terrain, weather, Tailwind, Trick Room, etc.) is a huge deal in competitive play and especially doubles. A lot of those show up pretty rarely in the anime and manga. Weather stuff is more common but I believe Trick Room only showed up once in the manga so that makes things a little difficult to visualize in terms of how it'd work. Unfortunately that sort of tactical manipulation of the battlefield is what I'm also the most interested in and would like to preserve in my little mental world so I'll have to keep speculating on that.

[crystalelemental]

Pokemon Team Characterization - Roxie

Alright megazard, I know this is what you really wanted.  Time to talk about your girl.

Roxie’s initial team is super early game, so we’re using Challenge Mode to get a bit more from it.

Application of Poison, then Venoshock.  Roxie, as a Poison specialist, uses Poison incidentally to fuel offense, rather than as a means in itself.  She’s an aggressive approach that will get in your face and beat your ass.  At the same time, Grimer’s Mud Slap and Disable are pretty significant disruptive tools.  Mud Slap is nasty as all hell, because at that point in the game, your best response to Poison is Magnemite.  Eat quad weakness.  Given Poison’s strong defensive typing, Disable is extra vicious, because it shuts down what’s likely to even work.  All of this into Whirlipede’s Protect/Rollout.  Rollout is similar to Whitney, in that it’s the practiced repetition as a strength.  She’s a musician, this checks out.  You need to practice the basics repeatedly to really build up to something, and Roxie puts in that effort.  But Protect implies a certain level of safety, something she falls back on when uncertain.

And now I have to argue with myself on something.

I’m going with this one.  Roxie doesn’t have a strict rematch focus.  She has the World Tournament sets.  Which I don’t love?  I don’t think they’re bad, but there’s like three of them and picking one to talk about is kinda rough.  “Talk about all of them!”  No.  There is so much overlap.  I have other things to do today.

So we’re going with this one.  I actually like this one a lot.  I think it gives a bit more info into Roxie and how she rolls.  That said, if memory serves, there’s no strict lead or ace here.  They’re all level 50, so I can’t really talk opening gambits and guaranteed aces.  I am adrift.

The Muscle (Scolipede, Drapion) Scolipede is her big standout, in that its function is pure offense.  One of her other teams has Poison Jab over Toxic Spikes, but notably, that team is for the Poison Type Tournament.  Which means the substitute is just logical, but Toxic Spikes would be her general choice.  Earthquake and Rock Slide are the ideal offensive combo, having nigh-perfect neutral coverage.

I think this solidifies Roxie as someone who is particularly well-rounded.  She’s someone who considers all sides of a situation, and gets the bigger picture.  She starts strong but considers the long game.

Drapion, by comparison, is mostly offensive, but with Acupressure, which buffs itself randomly.  Roxie’s willing to take big gambles, and reacts according to what the situation hands her.  But playing this on a defensive Pokemon with a healing berry suggests a level of consideration for that risk.  Play risky, but be ready for if things go south.

The Disruption (Amoongus, Seviper, Garbodor) Outdated reference covers two status options between Toxic and Spore, and backs it up with the consistent Substitute.  Seviper has Glare with a flinching move for lockdown, and Dragon Tail to slap away things she can’t deal with.  Garbodor packs Clear Smog and Stockpile, a means of boosting defenses and removing the foe’s buffs to keep them on the back foot.  This team carries a lot of options that are focused on disruption, and she doesn’t really repeat any of the effects.

I think this suggests Roxie as someone who is multifaceted.  She has a lot of different talents and approaches, and appreciates what’s new rather than what’s known.  But much like with Whirlipede, the inclusion of Substitute implies a sense of having a safety net, being cognizant of when a risk is being taken.  Stockpile is another slow building focus, again that repetition and practice.  But Clear Smog removing what the opponent does, and Dragon Tail smacking away things that aren’t preferred, is a sort of hostility.  She won’t deal with things that she doesn’t like, and will actively remove what frustrates her.  If it sucks, hit da bricks.

Toxic and Spore simultaneously on Amoongus does indicate a bit of flexibility on her part.  Again, she can react to a situation based on what it hands her.  But she likes assurances.  Clear, decisive action, nothing halfway.

Team Player (Crobat) Crobat has okay offense, but its main draws are U-Turn and Tailwind.  U-Turn is getting out of a situation, but coming back in later; recognition of when to step back but not giving up.  Tailwind, as team support, speeds up a team to let them act first.  I think this move does two things.  One is establish that Roxie is at least somewhat impatient.  While practice and repetition is used, she’s the kind of person that wants to get there faster.  She’s very driven in that way.  The fact it’s an enduring team support also suggests she’s someone who is motivating to others.  She energizes, excites, gets people moving.  She’s the kind of encouraging friend that’s going to give the kind of pep talk you need to keep trying at something.

Summation Roxie is someone who tends to have a good sense for the broader picture.  She’s able to look at something from multiple angles, and consider her approach carefully.  She acts decisively, and doesn’t work with half-hearted solutions.  She’s someone who rolls with the punches, flexing easily to what a situation hands her, and is a good motivator to her friends.  She’s someone who recognizes the value of a slow and steady approach to mastery, but internally may feel a little set back when things don’t progress quickly enough for her liking.

If you have an alternate read on the team, I’d love to hear it.  While it will harm megazard’s soul, I don’t really think about Roxie too much, so I’m sure there’s plenty to discuss.

[otnesse]

Eh, I wouldn't really say she was THAT neglected during Johto. She actually had a fairly active Pokemon Goal of her own, one that's actually comparable to Ash's in a way. Water Pokemon Master. In fact, it was also in Johto that her goal actually got quite a bit of focus, such as that Whirl Cup thing. I'm even willing to bet that, had the writers actually retained Misty for Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, Kalos, Alola, and Galar, they definitely would have found ways to expand upon her goal. I know I would have in their position. It's really only Brock who actually DID get shafted during Johto (At least Misty actually FOCUSED on her goal, even if few and far between. Brock's breeding goal came up EXACTLY once during Johto, and that was when he ended up returning Suzie's Vulpix to her after that breeder expo). Even IF Misty did get stale in Johto, it's only to the degree of Ash himself (and yes, Ash himself ultimately DID get stale in Johto as well. Even moreso when they failed to actually EXPLAIN his Pokemon Master goal, and if anything, they ditched the whole "win a league" thing with how his Orange Islands win apparently didn't count towards him becoming a master). Besides, having watched most of Johto during the leadup to Diamond and Pearl on Cartoon Network a few years back, I fail to see how she was even remotely neglected. If anything, I actually noticed her doing a whole LOT of stuff in that saga. Might as well also add since the complaints against Togepi in regards to Misty were alluded to in there, I NEVER considered Togepi an instance of ruining her character. Actually, come to think of it, even at her worst during Kanto, pre-Togepi I mean, she NEVER came across as nearly as violent as people make her out to be (a few times from hearing them complain about Togepi, I wonder "are you thinking of Naru Narusegawa instead?"). In fact, Misty having a motherly nature to her was actually hinted at as early as her very first appearance with her expressing concern for Pikachu, which obviously occurred long before Togepi's egg was even discovered, much less hatched. All Togepi did was expand upon it, bring it out to the forefront. Not to mention if anything, I blame those guys and their complaints against Togepi (who wasn't even MEANT to battle in the first place. For goodness sakes, you needed to boost its happiness just to have it evolve into Togetic, with battles barely even factoring into it at all, not to mention even in the games its attacks were support-level at best) for how they really overpowered Ash and even the other leads' Pokemon to basically be almost mary sues and make the Gym Leaders look downright pathetic as a result (which is in fact one of my biggest complaints about Hoenn and how they handled the gym fights there [made even worse when this happened AFTER Misty was infamously forced into the gym by her sisters, which tastelessly implied she was going to be a punching bag as a result].).

As far as the Pokemon Contests goes, the fact that they ended up dropped like a bag of potatoes once Black and White pretty much dropped the concept altogether seemed to hint they were ultimately a one-off in the short term, not to mention the fact that they literally replaced May with Dawn just to have her do essentially the same thing just indicates they really didn't think very far ahead. So, really, if anything, the girls' Contest goals actually had the girls being of less overall importance if you ask me than Misty's goal (even less so when unlike Water Pokemon Master, which theoretically CAN be done in the games by beating the Elite 4 and Champion with a pure Water team, you literally can't unlock the ending by just doing Pokemon Contests in RSE or DPP). At least no one replaced Misty's goal when she left. Probably the closest we've gotten to an actual replacement is probably Lana, and she technically wasn't even a trainer yet due to Sun and Moon revamping the whole narrative style to essentially be a school series.

I definitely agree with you on ONE thing, though: Misty definitely was a massively beloved character, period. She wouldn't have gotten third place on that 20th anniversary poll leading up to the 20th pokemon movie if she wasn't (literally being beaten out by Brock and Serena, and I suspect the latter was more due to her being the then-most recent traveling companion, not counting the Sun & Moon cast.).

I notice a lot of people don't really care for Misty during Johto, claiming she "lost a lot of personality" or "Togepi kept her in the sidelines." How do you feel about that? Granted when Misty does get an ep in Johto centered around her it's usually good, but in a lot of the regular Johto fillers she's pretty inactive while Ash and the Johto filler characters get the focus. Misty/Brock were kinda sidelined just commenting on whatever Ash was doing in the episode. Do you feel she was neglected?

I think that a lot of people compare Misty to the other female companions, which if that's the case, then yes she absolutely feels neglected. But that was a very different era of the anime, where Ash was really the only one actively working towards a goal. Misty and Brock were gym leaders on a break, and their main purpose was to be support for Ash. By the time we made it to AG, contests were introduced, and then performances, so May, Dawn, and Serena all had their own goals. Even in Alola, the girls each had their own little subplots, as did Chloe in Journeys, even if hers was arguably the weakest of the bunch.

Misty was never really meant to get the same kind of attention, unfortunately. I find that a lot of the Misty-centric episodes are some of my favorites, however. She's a really interesting character and, in my opinion, has one of the most interesting backstories of all of Ash's friends. I think that goes to show that even without a specific goal, or receiving as much attention as Ash or the girls who came after her, Misty was loved by the anime staff and they did put care into her as a character.

[lockefanfic]

Business Trip: Pt 26 - Temperature

“I’m just saying I bet fucking a girl is easy. I bet you don’t have to do very much to make them cum. I bet you just give them a little touch, a little lick, and suddenly they’re quivering little messes. And that’s before you actually fuck them.”

You are a little taken aback by her sudden insults, even if they were only half in jest.

“I mean, yeah, when you and Momo and I had our little party in Seoul it was fun… but it was also because Momo’s dildo was in my ass while you were in my pussy. I wonder if it had been as good as it was it was just you?”

“On behalf of the girls and myself, I feel a little insulted, detective.”

Jihyo sits up from the pool chair and swings her long, naked legs around until she is fully facing you.

“If you want an apology, you’ll have to fuck it out of me.”

---

“What the hell are you doing here, Nayeon?”

 The girl lets a look of distaste appear on her features as she turns to face you, as if your question annoyed her. You had just caught up with her on the street as she was leaving the bar after the rather tense meeting with Jihyo – the Korean detective, perhaps uncomfortable with the tension between you and Nayeon, had excused herself to head back to the hotel and catch up on some work. 

 Before she left, Jihyo briefed you on the plan she had hatched with Nayeon’s assistance,  whom she had met and befriended at some point in the years since you and Nayeon had broken up. Nayeon was now working in law enforcement as a criminal profiler; a masters’ degree in psychology, it appeared, was a highly sought after qualification for someone working in law enforcement.

 “I’m here to meet with a fellow law enforcement officer who needs my assistance with a case,” Nayeon answers.

 “And that’s it? You must’ve known she’d been assigned to our case. JYP’s case. You knew I still worked there. You should have told me.”

 “Maybe,” she admits, folding her arms in front of her before tapping on her chin with one finger as if pretending to be deep in thought, “...Maybe she did mention at some point that JYP would be involved. But that doesn’t really matter to me. And why would I need to tell you? You and I don't know each other anymore.”

 Her last statement angers you more than you thought it would. The look on her face hurts you more – that look of contempt and disdain, as though you were some insect that had the gall to step in front of her path. She is a little older now, that cute, naïve student tempered somewhat with the experience and grace of a young woman – but there are still traces there, still hints of the girl you knew and loved… which made her tone all the more hurtful, because they were words you never thought you'd hear come out of lips you once treasured.

 “So that’s it? You’re just going to pretend we didn’t happen? You're gonna show up out of the blue one day and pretend we weren’t together?”

 “Far from it. I'm not gonna deny that we have history. I knew you once. I loved you once. I don’t anymore.”

 “Nayeon-“

 “It’s in the past,” she interrupts, the annoyance fleeing from her face and being replaced with what seemed like honest contempt, “we were young and stupid. You had a dream you wanted to chase and so did I. So we went our separate ways. We’re better people now because of it.”

 Silence lingers in the air for a few tense moments. She was the last person you expected to see tonight – you had resigned yourself to never seeing her again given what passed between you two a few years ago, and you'd not talked or even emailed each other since then. To see her again suddenly, out of the blue, was overwhelming - but to have her react the way she did to you only intensified the shock of her reappearance.

 “So that’s it, then,” you state slowly, “we’re going to pretend we’re strangers.”

 “Yes,” Nayeon answers, her tone firm, as though she had no doubt whatsoever that that was what she wanted.

 You take a moment to consider her answer. It was more hurtful to you than you had thought it would be. You nod softly in understanding, although it is almost as much to convince yourself as it was to convince Nayeon.

 “Fine,” you finally say when you gathered the necessary amount of composure, “…fine. When this trip is over and we regroup in Seoul, we’re just strangers again. Nothing more.”

 “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 “Good,” you snap, although the single syllable hurts you to say. You give her one last look before turning away to flag down a cab, doing your best not to turn around and look at her again – the same way you did many years ago. History repeated itself.

 Unbeknownst to you, history repeated itself for her as well – although this time, she was able to wait until she had returned to her hotel room before she let the tears overwhelm her.

 ---

 “I had no idea you knew her.”

 You don’t have any reason to believe otherwise, and so you take Park Jihyo’s words at face value. How could she have known otherwise, afterall?

 “It looked like you guys had history, though,” she continues, “and I don’t want to pry, unless you feel that filling me in would be beneficial in some way.”

 “She’s an old flame,” you begin, seeing no harm in giving Jihyo some context, “one I never thought I’d see again. It was a bit of a shock seeing her. But I wouldn’t be too concerned… I won’t let our history be an issue,” you finish, although you had to admit you weren’t sure whether you were trying to convince her or you.

 Jihyo gives you a look, her large eyes covered by the large lenses of the sunglasses she was wearing, but you could tell by the bend in her eyebrows that she didn’t completely believe you.

 You had to admit it was a little difficult to keep your eyes focused on her face - as beautiful as the young detective was - when the rest of her was clad in a rather scant white bikini, laid out on a poolside deck chair. You were on your way back from lunch with Momo and Sana when you came across Jihyo catching some rays, and so you grabbed a beer from the nearby pool bar and took a seat on the pool chair next to hers and decided to set the record straight about you and Nayeon.

 “Well if it won’t be an issue… spill the deets. Was she a girlfriend or just a fuckbuddy? You seem to collect those like Pokemon,” Jihyo asks as she turns onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. You had to admit the delicious looking cleavage formed by her new position was more than a little distracting, her large, perfectly formed breasts stacked atop one another.

 “She was… a girlfriend. A long term one.”

 “Ooooooh.” Jihyo says, suddenly curious, “what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

 “This job happened,” you answer, “I was offered a position at JYP after graduation. She couldn’t leave her graduate program at school. And so I left town, she stayed, and we broke up.”

 Jihyo frowns a little.

 “I’m sorry to hear that. That must have sucked.”

 “Yeah,” you admit as you take another swig of your beer, “but whatever. It’s in the past now.”

 “And now you have a gorgeous new girlfriend and a new little harem of little girls to fuck at will,” Jihyo says flatly. You detect more than a little derision in her tone, one that catches you off guard.

 “You don’t approve, detective?”

 “I didn’t say that,” Jihyo says quickly, “It’s the fact that they’re all little girls that I find... a little beneath you.”

 You bristle at her implication.

 “What? They’re all in their twenties-”

 “That’s not what I meant,” she answers, turning once more until she is on her back again, “I’m not referring to age. It’s that so far you’ve been fucking girls. And not women.”

 You suddenly catch on to the slight hint of seduction in her voice, and your initial surprise at her forwardness quickly fades away.

 “What are you implying, Jihyo?”

 Jihyo gives you a look, a sly smile appearing on those full lips of hers. She shrugs cutely.

 “I’m just saying I bet fucking a girl is easy. I bet you don’t have to do very much to make them cum. I bet you just give them a little touch, a little lick, and suddenly they’re quivering little messes. And that’s before you actually fuck them.” 

 You are a little taken aback by her sudden insults, even if they were only half in jest.

 “I mean, yeah, when you and Momo and I had our little party in Seoul it was fun… but it was also because Momo’s dildo was in my ass while you were in my pussy. I wonder if it had been as good as it was it was just you?”

 “On behalf of the girls and myself, I feel a little insulted, detective.”

 Jihyo sits up from the pool chair and swings her long, naked legs around until she is fulling facing you.

 “If you want an apology, you’ll have to fuck it out of me.”

 Jihyo leans forward and snatches the beer out of your hand before taking a long swig. Then she stands and grabs you by the wrist before standing and leading you away.

 ---

The temperature, the woman atop your lap - everything about it was hot.

 Even on a surface level she was already more woman than the others, with her perfect curves - her large breasts, those full thighs, and that round, plump butt of hers. It was a body that was earned with many long hours in the gym, toned with muscle but still full and curvy where it counted. You knew for a fact that Momo, Jeongyeon and a few of the others were older than her, but she already seemed more mature, more woman than they did.

 Jihyo had divested herself of her bikini top almost as soon as you entered the sauna, leaving her most delicious assets - those gorgeous, perfect breasts of hers, exposed to your hungry hands, mouth, and tongue.

 Your tongue finally leaves her erect, stiff nipple and you lean back against the sauna wall, taking a moment to savor the sight of her as she writhed atop your lap, your ministrations on her chest building the pleasure steadily within her body. Sweat dripped generously from her in the heat of the sauna, lending her tanned, perfect body a glistening appearance even as it gave her skin a delicious saltiness.

 You reach for the beer that she stole from you from where it laid on the bench next to you, but Jihyo grabs it first, bringing the bottle to her lips - before, with a sly, devilish smile, she tips the bottle over, pouring the light amber liquid all over her chest.

 It might have been the sexiest thing you’d seen all week - and you’d seen plenty of lust and desire over the past few days. You watch, enraptured, as the beer flows over her generous mounds, over her stiff nipples, and finally down onto her firm, flat stomach. This woman was intoxicating - now literally, as much as metaphorically.

 You already knew that she loved it when you went down on her breasts, and you dive right back in, capturing her left mound in your mouth, your tongue enjoying the taste of her sweat and the slight bitterness of the beer - it was so sexy, so utterly succulent, that you found yourself losing a little bit of your control as you feast on her ripe, young body.

 “Oh, fuck… fuck… you like… my tits, don’t you?”

 “Fuck yes,” you manage to get out as you continue to slurp the alcohol from her chest with long, wide licks, “you’re fucking delicious, Jihyo.”

 “Mmmm… I love when you suck them… I love it more when you fuck them.”

 Jihyo quickly hops off your lap and drops to her knees before you. You knew what was coming, had experienced it before - but as she almost rips your shorts off your body and presses her large orbs around your stiff shaft, you knew nothing could prepare you for the pleasure that was about to come.

 Nothing could compare to it - none of the girls you’d been with recently was as well endowed, and so none could even try to compare - and it was altogether different than their other orifices. It felt so warm, so hot. So perfect.

 Jihyo lets a soft moan out of her lips as she wraps your shaft with your breasts, the action evidently pleasuring her just as much as it did you. Your gaze is locked to her large eyes, glazed with pleasure, as she presses her breasts together with her hands, finally trapping you with her chest, before she slowly begins to move the mounds of flesh up and down around your cock.

 When she last gave you a titfuck in Seoul her breasts had only saliva, hers and yours, to lubricate your shaft - but now, with the ample sweat on her skin from the hot sauna, and the beer she had poured on herself moments before, her breasts felt better than ever. 

 “Oh, fuck,” you groan, trying to find some sort of release from the pleasure quickly spiking up from your crotch as Jihyo takes you in and out of her cleavage. You watch as Jihyo’s hands, which were pressing her breasts together, move towards the front of her chest, allowing her to pinch her own nipples with her thumbs and index fingers.

 “Oh, fuck,” she echoes as you continue to fuck her breasts, “fuck, that feels so good.”

 You watch as Jihyo continues her work, watch those large, perfect eyes on that innocent face, so twisted now with lust and need - a juxtaposition added to by the fact that just below that innocent face, she was wrapping her breasts around your cock, the tip and head of it poking out between the large mounds with each thrust into her delicious, wet, hot cleavage.

 You knew you wouldn’t have lasted long, and you knew you owed her from the last time you fucked her breasts in Seoul, when you got off but she didn’t - and so you stop her, slowly lifting her hands from her breasts, relishing one more time in the sight of your hard shaft between her mounds before slipping from the bench and falling to your knees. Jihyo takes the hint and rises from her knees and swapping positions, spreading her legs wantonly as she sits down on your former position.

 She looked like an absolute feast sitting there, her sweaty, wet body making her glisten from head to toe - sweat and beer, but by her crotch, a third liquid - her slick, wet juices.

 You peel her drenched bikini bottom from her hips and, without wasting another moment, devour her. 

 Your mouth on her crotch drives Jihyo crazy, if the loud gasp that leaves her throat is any indication. Just as she didn’t waste any time with you, you don’t with her - quickly you are giving her long, slow licks from bottom to top with the flat of your tongue, before finally settling on her exposed clit and swirling the tip of it around the hard little bud, enjoying the bittersweet taste of her juices in your mouth as you feast on her. Her warm, sticky thighs wrap themselves around your face, and you are happy to bury yourself between them, happy to devour the delicious, mouthwatering flesh of her body.

 “Oh...oh, fuck! You eat me so good,” Jihyo gasps, her voice given new tone by the pleasure coursing through her body. You wonder, absentmindedly, if she were a good singer, and whether she could reach an even higher note.

 You raise your right hand to her opening and slip your middle and index fingers inside her, her wet, slick flesh parting easily for your questing digits as they curl upward, quickly finding and scratching that wonderful patch of flesh at the front of her pussy.

 The sound that leaves Jihyo’s lips tells you that yes - she was capable of an even higher note.

 You smile, devilishly - even as you continue to devour her, your lips locked around her swollen bud as your tongue teases it a little rougher, and your fingers continue to scratch her g-spot with your fingertips, swirling in random circles against her most sensitive areas.

 Soon Jihyo orgasms - one that built quickly and takes her completely by surprise. Her body twitches, quivers and writhes on the bench as the pleasure completely overwhelms her, and you can just barely hold on to her wildly shaking thighs, struggling to keep your mouth locked onto her crotch as she squirms.

 “Oh my… oh my god,” she says, her orgasm still coursing through her veins, “Oh… oh god.”

 You smile devilishly to yourself, finally raising your mouth from her crotch and watching as her lust-addled body recovers, her perfect body still quivering. With the back of your hand you wipe some of her juices from your mouth, before licking it off, savoring the taste of her on your tongue.

 “Fuck me now,” she says with half-lidded eyes, “Show me how you really fuck.”

 Still kneeling, you bring your aching, rock hard shaft to her splayed, wet pussy - and you enter her with one firm, strong stroke, burying yourself inside the tight flesh of her body.

 Jihyo lets a long, drawn-out moan out as she is filled with your cock, her moan soon turning into a long string of pleasurable sounds as you begin to fuck her, her thighs open and spread as you begin to fuck her quicker and with stronger thrusts - not roughly, not fucking like an animal like you did with Seolhyun or Tzuyu - but firmly, making sure she felt each entry and exit in and out of her tight, young body.

 You delight in the sight of it - of those perfect curves of her, those large round breasts and her full, flush thighs as they bounce and quiver with each thrust. Her large eyes are still half-lidded with pleasure, still locked on yours, still warped and corrupted with lust. You loved every moment of it, savored each sensation sparking between your hot, wet bodies.

 “Oh!” she moans, “Oh fuck, you fuck me so good. Yes! More!”

 You quicken your pace, truly hammering and pounding her now - but not wildly, still ensuring each thrust is firm and strong, enjoying the sight of her being rocked with each entry into her body. For a few long minutes you fuck her like that, but her rising gasps and moans, and her demands for more, drove you to action.

 “You want more… don’t you?”

 “Yes! More… Fuck me more… I want more!”

 You give her one last, firm thrust, burying yourself as deep inside her as you could, bending forward until you are almost face to face. Jihyo reaches up with her hands and captures your face in her palms, kissing you passionately, her tongue quickly pressing itself against yours.

 “If you want more,” you hiss as you tear your lips from hers, “then you’ll get it.”

 Your gaze drifts down, past her wet, sweaty body, to where your shaft is impaled inside her. You pull it slowly out, both of you watching intently as your slick cock leaves her body. You straighten your back, and, shifting slightly to ensure you were lined up, press the head of your cock against her asshole.

 Jihyo gasps softly in surprise as the head of your cock touches her other opening - but the look quickly gives way to the lust that was overriding her senses. You watch, intently, as she bites her lip, and gives you the slightest nod.

 It is all the invitation you need, and with firm, steady pressure, you push forward, and penetrate her ass.

 You’d not had her ass before, even if you were inside her when it was last taken by Momo - a memory that still gave you quivers of pleasure when you remembered it. But now, as you enter her ass for the first time, you couldn’t help but close your eyes involuntarily as her tight, hot flesh wraps around your shaft. It was almost too much to handle.

 But the fierce, strong look in Jihyo’s eyes is enough to remind you that you had a point to prove. She had challenged you, had challenged your sexual prowess - and you found yourself wanting to prove her wrong.

 Slowly, but with the same firm, strong strokes you gave her when you were in her pussy, you fuck her ass, each thrust long, slow, and powerful. Jihyo takes a little time to get used to it, but when she does she soon becomes a mess of pleasure as the pounding of your shaft drives her to new heights of pleasure.

 Fucking her pussy had already begun to dismiss any doubts she had of your prowess - fucking her ass had now confirmed it.

 “Fuck,” Jihyo hisses, drawing out the word into a long moan as you continue to pump in and out of her ass. Her fingers turn into claws and dig into your shoulders, seeking some outlet for the pleasure coursing through her loins. The sight of her wet, hot pussy, its lips still splayed slightly open from your recent fucking, was utterly beautiful - a sight made all the more enrapturing by the sight of your hard shaft pumping in and out of her ass, just beneath its wet, pink lips.

 “Oh god… oh god, you’re so big in my ass,” she gasps.

 “You like it in the ass, don’t you, Jihyo?”

 “Yes… Yes! Oh, fuck!”

 “You like… being fucked like this? Being taken and fucked like this?”

 “Yes! Oh god… Mmmm! You’re… you’re gonna make me cum again!”

 “Fucking cum then, Jihyo… Cum on my cock in your ass,” you hiss, savoring the feel of having met her challenge, having made her cum twice now, having shown her that you could fuck a woman like she wanted to be fucked.

 “Oh… oh god! I’m gonna cum!”

 Jihyo’s body is wracked with pleasure as she orgasms, the constant, strong pounding of your hard shaft in and out of her ass causing irresistible spikes of pleasure to course throughout her veins. She is soon a quivering, writhing, wet and hot mess on the bench - much the same way she had described the other girls you’d fucked. The realization of it satisfied you - you’d convinced her, finally, and now it was time to get your own.

 “I’m gonna fucking cum,” you admit, the words a hiss - although you hadn’t been inside her for too long, her ass was too much, too hot, too tight around you.

 “Fucking cum… wherever you want! Just cum… Cum for me!”

 You pound her with fierce, strong strokes, wanting to savor every moment that you were inside her ass before the end finally came. You consider cumming inside her, filling her with semen, but the thought of covering that drenched, slick body of hers with yet more wetness was just too overwhelming. 

 Just as you reach your peak, you pull your shaft from her body, and with just a few quick strokes from your right hand, you cum hard, your semen spraying from your shaft in long, thick streams, landing on Jihyo’s torso in long, wet streaks.

 The look on Jihyo’s face is one of pure lust as the thick streams land wetly onto her neck, breasts and flat stomach. She was sweaty and wet already, and the semen only added to her glistening, messy body, her perfect curves now drenched with sweat and beer and cum.

 You fall over her body, finally exhausted by the session and by the heat of the sauna, your arms keeping you upright on the bench.

 “So where’s my apology, detective?”

 Jihyo captures a stream of your semen from her breast, bringing it to her tongue and swirling it around her mouth, as though she were sampling some delicacy.

 “I’m just sorry we didn’t fuck sooner.”

 ---

 "Say it ain't so, Mina," Momo says, giving voice to the thoughts of everyone nearby.

 Miyoui Mina looks up from her luggage as she hands it off to the waiting taxi driver. The entirety of your team had gathered at the resort's entrance to see her off.

 "Boss's orders," she begins, a hint of sadness in her usually steady, clear voice.

 Mina had informed everyone at the morning meeting, the final one before the end of the Hawaii vacation, that she had been reassigned to oversee JYP legal operations in Europe.

 "Gee, I'll miss you guys too," Choa pipes up from behind you, where she is struggling with a large pink luggage carrier. Tzuyu and Seolhyun rush over to help her, the Taiwanese girl grabbing her carry on luggage while Seolhyun takes over the carrier.

 "Aww, unnie," Sana says, greeting the older girl with a hug, "we'll miss you too."

 Like Mina, Choa had been reassigned to Europe as well, but not without some resistance on your part - she was an invaluable member of your team, and you were loathe to lose someone with her logistics management skills. But JYP needed someone to head up the Europe contingent, and Choa's years of working under your tutelage made her more than qualified. It took some convincing, but JYP eventually managed to get you to let her go.

 "My first task will be hiring a personal assistant to carry all my stuff," she states, somewhat exasperated by the amount of physical effort it took to haul her luggage down from her room.

 "We'll miss the two of you," you begin, "but we know you'll kick ass over there."

 "You bet your ass we will," Choa says confidently, "but my only regret is that we won't be around to help you track down Irene and bring down SM."

 "She'll pay for what she did to us," Jeongyeon says with an edge in her voice, "I promise you that, unnie."

 Choa gives the younger Korean girl a soft, long hug. The two had been through a lot together, and had become good friends. You could tell the news of her departure had hurt Jeongyeon the most. Soon the smiles turn to tears in her eyes, and Choa hugs her tighter and strokes her hair in response as she tries to soothe her younger friend, whispering words of comfort into her ear.

 "Take care of this one," Mina says with a nod towards Momo as she approaches you while the others congregate around Choa to give her goodbye hugs, "she can be quite the handful."

 "I know," you answer. Your girlfriend squeezes your arm in response.

 "You take care of yourself," Momo says to Mina, "I mean that."

 "I will," Mina answers, before opening her arms to Momo and giving her a hug.

 "Go get her," Mina says as she comes close to you for a hug, "get Irene. Bring her down," she adds, a hint of seriousness and gravity in her words that you weren't used to hearing. She had always had a demure, aloof nature to her that some people mistook at coldness - but in truth she had a soft, warm side to her as well that you were fortunate enough to have been able to witness.

 "We will," you answer into her ear.

 Mina eventually frees herself from your arms, and giving you one last smile that carried a little more emotion than you had ever seen from the Japanese girl, she turns to say goodbye to the others. Momo joins her.

 "It's been a real ride, hasn't it?" Choa asks as she approaches you. You had dreaded this moment since you first heard the news of her departure; Choa had been the rock on which the rest of your team was built, and to lose her was to lose a big part of what made your team tick.

 "It has. It won't be the same without you."

 "I'm sure you'll find someone to take over for our afternoon meetings," she says with a sly smile on her lips, turning her head to nod towards the waiting taxi, where Tzuyu and Seolhyun are still struggling with stuffing the large pink plastic luggage carrier into the trunk.

 "Maybe," you admit, "but no one as good as you."

 Choa smiles, her round face and bright smile beaming in the early morning light.

 "Thank you, Choa. You were the best team member I could ever ask for. And you were an even better friend."

 "I know," she agrees, adding a cute wink for emphasis, "I'm pretty awesome."

 "You are."

 Choa smiles, looking away off into the distance as she tries to choke back tears. Eventually she gives up altogether and throws herself into your arms as she begins to sob, wrapping her arms around your neck. After what seemed like more than just a few minutes, she lets you go and steps back, but keeps her arms on your shoulders.

 "Promise me, if you're ever in Europe, that we'll have a meeting. In the afternoon."

 "I promise," you say with a smile, struggling yourself to not let your emotions get the better of you. Choa steps back, finally, and looks towards the group of girls that are trying to simultaneously wish Mina good luck in Europe and while trying to find a way to stuff Choa's massive pink luggage into the trunk of the taxi.

 "And promise me... promise me you'll find someone that makes you happy."

 You are a bit taken aback by her statement, but the look in her eyes tells you all you need to know. Of all the girls you'd known, she knew you best, knew all about your history and the trials and tribulations you'd had with each of the young women in your life. 

 You also noticed that she decided not to mention Momo specifically, despite the fact that she clearly knew you were in a relationship with her. Was it her way of saying something without saying it? Was she giving you advice again, even now when she was about to leave your life indefinitely? You feared the days to come - days without her guidance and steady friendship.

 "I promise," you answer, finally.

 "Promise I'll get an invite to the wedding?"

 You giggle a little bit at the idea of getting married, when it was the furthest thing from your mind. But whenever it happened, you knew Choa had to be there. 

 "You'll be the first on the guest list."

 Choa and you share one last sad smile together before she turns and joins Mina at the waiting taxi. With one last exaggerated bow, she enters the waiting vehicle. Mina joins her after a brief, classy goodbye wave, and soon Park Choa and Miyoui Mina depart to start a new chapter in their lives.

 When their taxi is beyond sight, the girls slowly begin to turn and return to their rooms for their last night at the resort. Momo takes your hand, and with a soft smile on her beautiful face, she walks back to your room with you, where you share one last night together.

 The next day would see you return to Seoul to re-face Irene and SM. You knew that Nayeon would be there too, and that you’d have to confront the feelings of Sana and Jeongyeon sooner rather than later. Choa and Mina’s departure left holes in your team that you’d have to fill, either with your existing staff or perhaps by recruiting new members.

 But that could all wait until tomorrow; for now you were content to find bliss in sleep, spending one last night in paradise.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

 Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

 Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

 But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

 Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

 And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

 While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

 For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and  Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

 Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

 Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

 And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

[catflowerqueen]

Rescue Team Retrospective Part 3: Setting

Interestingly enough, for all that Pokémon Square is smaller and less populated than Treasure Town or Post Town, it also feels a lot more like an actual community—kind of like Serenity Village did, but not quite as tightly knit. That’s probably due more to how few children there are in Pokemon Square, though. There’s Diglett, Caterpie, and Metapod—but apparently Caterpie and Metapod only met recently, and Diglett seems to mostly just hang out by the Post Office with his dad. I’m not entirely sure he even knows who Caterpie and Metapod are.

In terms of the shops and things, it’s interesting to me that only Kangaskhan’s place and the post office are actually shaped like the proprietors, even though the town is well established and old enough that each shopkeeper also seems to have a house attached to their shop (aside from the dojo, but it’s also fairly big so its possible that Makuhita lives in there too). This makes me think that the town itself is very old, and, in comparison, Treasure Town is actually fairly new? The shops are structured to look like their owners, sure, but there are also a lot of random tents around. Of course, we also know that there have to be some settlements or something nearby considering those mentions of the Azumarill brothers’ mom, so it’s possible that those tents are just, like, break areas that everyone set up in order to save space or something, but it’s still very interesting. I could see Treasure Town as having been established in response to the Guild being built there (and, in turn, I can see Wigglytuff choosing that particular spot specifically so that he could keep an eye on Brine Cave), but it’s still just a little odd since one would expect a coastal area like that to have a thriving port town already, since much of the big explorations happening are more towards the east—indicating that the west is already well known.

Anyways, the whole thing just makes me think that the Rescue Team continent probably had more established settlements in general that the Explorers one does. Probably it has the same level as implied by Gates? And then PSMD takes place over multiple continents, but overall I think it seems to imply more towns and settlements overall. Which makes sense, as it claims to be a culmination of all the other games’ events. Even though I have written multiple posts on the subject of why that makes absolutely no sense.

It’s also a little weird that there was just that random house no one was living in before the hero moved in? Like, that was prime real estate right there. Why was no one else using it? This wasn’t like Sharpedo Bluff, where it was just a natural formation. Someone had literally built a house there. It makes sense as far as general gameplay goes in that you use it as a home base, sure, but in terms of pure story… it’s a bit odd.

It is pretty cool how you can see all the friend areas on the map, though, and get to see just where they are in relation to each other, and even how they look in general in some cases before actually travelling there.

As far as where the game fits on the timeline… I still stand by my earlier thoughts that while I can see Rescue Team and Explorers happening in the same universe, I don’t think they really fit in with Gates or PSMD. Though I can see Gates and PSMD fitting together in their own universe. But as far as Rescue Team and Explorers goes… honestly I think either one of them could happen first? I put Rescue Team happening second for my own stories, sure, but that was so that I could make specific use of some characters, backstories, and plotlines that wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

[drferox]

Fantasy Biology: Eevee

Eevee is the far superior Pokemon to Pikachu but it is something of a biological enigma and unique in that it has eight different mature, adult forms (currently, hanging out for a steel-type Eevee in sword/shield) all of which are possible for any single, individual Eevee.

Eevee is superficially mammalian, though like all Pokemon hatches from eggs, so it's not the anatomy that I'm going to consider today (mammals that lay eggs are not that weird in Australia). It's not even the fact that such superficially different adult phenotypes can interbreed successfully, as the different eeveelutions don't look any more different to each other than a pug would to a borzoi.

No, it's the fact that we start out with identical Eevees at birth that all move on to become such phenotypically different adults in response to their environment.

How do they do that?

There are, at the time of writing, eight known Eevee evolutions that evolve via the following:

Vaporeon, Jolteon and Flareon by contact with a small, very special rock

Glaceon and Leafeon by proximity to a large, very special rock

Espeon, Umbreon and Sylveon by by being friendly/affectionate enough with one other qualifier, either time of day or ability known.

Which is super weird, but let's try to explain these anyway.

It's perfectly normal for animals to adapt to suit their environment. Muscles get bigger the more they are used, skin toughens, skills are learned, and over many generations evolution takes place. But with Eevees, these adaptations happen rapidly within a single lifetime.

It's also not unheard of for animals to undergo a dramatic physical change as they mature. Compare the caterpillar to the butterfly. Or perhaps more interestingly, consider the axolotl.

Axolotls are a type of salamander that live their entire life cycle in an aquatic phase, rather than a terrestrial one. They're commonly seen as pets. However, if you throw a bunch of thyroxine (a naturally occurring thyroid hormone) at them, they will metamorphose into the terrestrial salamander form. They transform in response to a hormone from an external source.

Now, real world animals take days, weeks, months or years to transform. In the world of Pokemon you may choose to ignore that, or consider these transformations to be happening over a couple of days instead. But the mechanism for a dramatic physical change in response to external stimuli already exists.

So let's build up some details.

If we start with the classics, Flareon, Jolteon, & Vaporeon, then what actually are the fire stone, thunder stone and water stone respectively that are needed to induce this transformation, and also induce transformation and maturity in other Pokemon species. The Pokedex would tell you them emit some sort of radiation, but there's only so many sorts of radiation that could be, and things in the universe are exposed to radiation all the time, so what's an alternative explanation.

Actual biological molecules. Whether these are hormones or cytokines (another sort of chemical signal used by living things), either of these existing in high concentrations in the stone could plausibly induce the appropriate evolution. So how do they get there?

My preferred theory is that these 'stones' are not all mineral, but a matrix colonized by bacteria or single celled organisms from extreme environments that just happen to be secreting the chemical signals Eevee use to determine what sort of environment they are in. The higher the concentration of 'fire stone bacteria' they're exposed to, the more likely it is for the Flareon form to offer the best chance or survival, and the same for the other types of stones.

This could work with a positive feedback loop. The more hormone the Eevee is exposed to, the more sensitive it becomes to that hormone (or insensitive to the others it becomes) until it reaches a critical threshold and the 'evolution' commences.

As a result, exposure to a fire, water or thunder stone would not be the only way to get a Flareon, Vaporeon or Jolteon, it would just be the fastest way. Eevee living their lives in extreme environments could gradually accumulate enough exposure to these secreted hormones over time before evolving naturally. Even Eevee living in non-extreme environments could spontaneously evolve into one of these forms, purely by chance and random exposure, but at a slower rate.

Moss rocks for Leafeon and Ice rocks for Glaceon could function by a nearly identical mechanism, only instead of touching the stone, their chemical signals may instead be pheromones on the air produced by microorganisms living on/in that rock. This also implies that those microorganisms are elsewhere in similar environments, just at lower concentrations.

Espeon, Umbreon and Sylveon evolve differently, because their evolution is triggered by affection plus one other condition.

Now, the obvious choice for the evolution trigger in these cases is oxytocin, the so-called 'love hormone', but there's a few concerning implications of that, since oxytocin surges happen with a couple of other biological events which don't strictly require friendship or affection to occur. It's still a plausible choice though, but perhaps alongside something like serotonin, gradually binding to the appropriate receptors until the positive feedback loop is triggered. In this way, friendship, hugs and chocolate can push an Eevee towards one of these evolutions, but which one?

Espeon and Umbreon are determined by the time of day, with Espeon evolving during the day and Umbreon evolving during the night. So the level of melatonin in the brain may determine which evolution occurs. Now in a game that's easy, but in this hypothetical natural world, it may mean that Umbreon and Espeon are more common at higher latitudes where the day lengths are more extreme with the season, with more Umbreon developing in winter, and more Espeons developing in Summer.

Sylveon also evolves with some type of affection, but it must know a fairy-type move to do so. This is a little harder to hypothesize, as how can just knowing a fairy-type move induce a different evolution? Does it induce an accumulation of a different hormone in the Eevee every time it's used? I'm not totally satisfied with that idea, as these evolutions seem to happen in response to extreme environments.

My preferred hypothesis is that Sylveon evolves in response to the presence of dragon-type molecules in the environment. The more dragon-types there are around, the more use that Eevee would have from a fairy-type move, and the more advantage it has in evolving to Sylveon.

In addition to these different means of evolution in the wild, it's quite possible that groups of Eevees will evolve into different types, even in the same environment, as once an individual starts to become sensitized to a couple of signalling molecules, those molecules are bound to it, so can't be used by the next Eevee to come along. So you could plausibly have mixed groups co-existing in the wild.

This is, of course, a lot of speculation given what we know, and assuming the Pokedex is written by a ten year old. But I could potentially think of enough tests to occupy a full time job as an Eevee raiser and researcher.

Eevee was selected as a topic by my Patreon supporters. You can nominate a species for the same treatment from $1 a month.

[fluffyheretic]

I’m so fucking tempted to say “every single question with Kazushuu or Hitoshuu (except for the nsfw ones i guess)” But I don’t want to singlehandedly kill you

ok let’s do it

as a side note sometimes the answer is the same or similar for both ships just bc shuu is uh. the same person. but ofc not always

under cut for lengthhhh

1. Who makes the first move and how?

hitoshuu: normally im gonna say definitely hitori. he probably decides to be direct and just straight up ask. in iwasweetie au specifically tho i want it to be sweetie if only bc i need to make him get over his shit. he also asks “directly” but it actually involves a lot of stuttering and beating around the bush so it ends up not being very direct

shuukazu: im not sure if it would really be one of them specifically, i can see them as the “this kind of just happened” couple. maybe kazuaki is the one after several months whos like “so um… what are we…. lol………..”

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

hitoshuu: shuu, not that hitori is the paragon of confidence but shuus like “wtf hes the ideal young man and im Bastard Supreme but ok i guess”

shuukazu: BOTH LMAO but kazu is more vocal abt it and shuu is the Bottle Up EVERYTHING type

some good ol body positivity cuddle sessions work in both cases

3. Who is the most romantic?

anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what feelings ARE” reasons

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

again anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what intimacy IS” reasons but specifically hitori is just more confident and kazuaki isnt necessarily confident but is more just. shameless

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

not shuu for similar reasons as above. there’s a trend here, you see

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

THIS is a CHRISTIAN blog

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

hitoshuu: going to dinner at a place thats nice but not TOO nice. like good comfortable atmosphere and good food but not posh

shuukazu: they probably just wander around, maybe go shopping, kazuaki keeps pointing out stuff he wants and dr iwamine “i dont know what to do with my money bc i dont want for material things” shuu just buys it for him. shuu please stop enabling him. stop it.

8. What do they like in bed?

hitoshuu: cuddling :)

shuukazu: snuggling :)

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

i feel like shuu considers every single new couple-y thing he does to be the new most embarrassing thing he’s done. we’re holding hands? embarrassing. i kissed you? god now THATS embarrassing. you caught me wearing your sweater that you accidentally left at my place? well put me in the fucking ground thats literally the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anybody. how dare i show sentimentality. despicable

kazuaki is similar in that he’s constantly one-upping himself and getting a NEW most embarrassing thing but his things include stuff like getting caught watching really strange anime and scream-singing pop songs and anime OPs in the shower

hitori probably like tripped on the sidewalk once

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

these questions are difficult bc man idk what media exists in 2188 bird japan

11. What do they hide from one another?

in both cases shuus answer is “just about everything” hes terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known. pretty much everything you learn about him has to be squeezed out

hitori hides how troubled he really is because he wants to seem like the responsible one everyone can depend on so that they dont have to worry about him. he does his best to hide when hes struggling but since shuu has that exact same impulse they pretty quickly start to see through each other, but are also very understanding about it.

kazuaki probably doesnt have as much to hide but he might be shy about portraying how REALLY in love with shuu he is too soon because he doesnt want to scare him away. he also hides the weirder shows and games and stuff that hes into lol

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

hitoshuu: i can see them having that kind of relationship where at first its casual and almost competitive in a way, like a “i think youre sexy and the only thing i know to do about it is see what i can do to make you flustered, then act smug when i succeed” thing. but over time when the novelty of that starts to wear off they both kinda realize they just straight up like each other and start being more genuine and soft.

shuukazu: again its a similar thing with shuu where he starts feeling more comfortable with letting himself be a little more genuine and START opening up. kazuaki picks up on this as a good sign and starts to worry less about trying to impress shuu and more just enjoying their time together.

13. When do they realize they should get together?

this is another one that i think is a similar answer in both cases, at least for shuu’s part he has a “dammit. i cant lose him” moment. since hes a person of very few words he tries to communicate “i want us to be serious” via letting down his walls a little bit, which hitori/kazuaki hopefully notice is happening and then are like “oh maybe we can work”

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

for shuu and hitori its “responsibly take care of you, bc its what i should do but also secretly i get STRESSED AS FUCK when someone i care about is sick so i gotta make sure youre okay”

for kazuaki its “take care of you, although i dont really know what im doing, also i thought since youre bedridden we could cuddle but its not as enjoyable as i wanted so like I’m Here but also im gonna watch tv okay? ill get u crackers and ginger ale”

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

hitoshuu: shuu’s gonna say he doesn’t care, but hitori also doesn’t really care so eventually he’ll get shuu to admit that he’d like to watch a nature documentary. especially if it’s marine-themed. hitori likes that too so hey there you go

shuukazu: shuu WILL watch the 76th pokemon movie OR ELSE

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

hitoshuu: both are cutthroat bastards that do anything it takes to keep each other safe. their reliance and trust in each other is probably 99% of what keeps them going.

shuukazu: again shuus gonna do literally anything it takes to keep kazuaki safe, but to be real i dont know if kazuaki is making it out of this one. and if he doesnt then shuus not either.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

shuu’s answer is going to be at various points in prehistory to study organisms that are now long-extinct (side note god thats definitely my answer too). his bf is worried abt the dangers but comes with him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.

i think hitori might not have anything specific in mind but going to historical sites in their heydays seems like a good choice.

since kazuaki likes literature he’d probably want to see historical stuff related to that, like seeing shakespeare plays when they first came out and meeting his favorite dead authors to ask them questions.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

hitoshuu: hitori doesn’t like to dance around that kind of thing, after a little time has passed for them to both think about it then he’ll just be direct and say “hey lets talk about that thing that happened” if he feels he was in the wrong then he’ll then follow that up with an apology. i can see hitori being a little grudgy but then quickly getting tired of it and just wanting things to be resolved. shuu hates talking things out because hes bad at it but he knows its best so he’ll just try to explain how he felt at the time but also what he’s considered since then. even if he’s not good at explaining himself, hitori is good at understanding him anyway so they usually work it out pretty quickly.

shuukazu: they can be messier since kazuaki gets really emotional really quickly and sometimes says things he doesnt mean. theyre both bad at dealing with it afterwards though until after a few awkward days, kazuaki cant take it and is like “waaa i dont want us to be fighting anymore 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” and shuus like “ok.” because yeah he’ll take the easy way out. they could probably improve their communication tbh

19. Where do they go on their first date?

hitoshuu: they probably decide to do something simple and casual to make it less awkward so they just get coffee. shuu feels like, from what he knows, that he should be expecting hitori to make a move on him. hitori doesnt because he wants to be considerate of shuus comfort level, but shuu takes it as a sign of disinterest. luckily shuu realizes hes wrong about that when hitori quickly invites him on Another date where they take a stroll in the park, and thats when hitori goes in for the tactical hand-hold maneuver.

shuukazu: kind of the opposite of hitoshuu in that they dont really declare it officially as a date. kazuaki just asks shuu if he wants to see a movie with him, not really calling it a date but kind of implying it to be one. shuu probably doesnt care about the movie but thinks this might possibly maybe be a date so he should go. kazuaki then uses it as a chance to Put On The Movies, as awkward as that might be, including the classic “stretch with my arms up and then let one down over your shoulders” move. shuu doesnt really know how to indicate his own interest in response but hopes the fact that hes also not complaining in any way gives a hint. despite it not REALLY being an official date at the time, later on theyll look back on it and decide that yeah that was their first date.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

shuu hates taking time off work, but if he must, then he’ll be content as long as theres something scientifically interesting there like a museum or an aquarium.

hitori doesnt really mind where they go, hes just grateful to get to go on holiday at all, so he’ll let shuu pick. and again, that’s going to be somewhere with a natural history museum, probably a very nice one and they’ll both enjoy it.

kazuaki is similar in that he’s just happy to be there but his ideal holiday destination is probably just…. akihabara. so shuu relents and goes there with him occasionally. kazuaki does like to visit aquariums with shuu though! they do both

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

hitoshuu: the cemetery, at least at first when they arent used to being that vulnerable in front of each other

shuukazu: well shuu sure as shit is nervous about going to anime cons with kazu

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

in both cases, definitely at one of their homes, because shuus too much of a wreck to have a moment like that in a public place.

for shuukazu, i picture it that theyre just hanging out at kazuakis place and relaxing, and they end up cuddling a lot, and kazuaki kisses him kind of impulsively. hes then very apologetic about it before shuu manages to assure him that its fine.

hitoshuu, maybe hitori walks shuu home after a date and goes for the classic end of date goodbye kiss, but just on the cheek. then when once again hitori has walked shuu home, shuu wonders if he should expect a real kiss this time, but hitori goes for the cheek again. shuus disappointed and grabs hitoris sleeve before he turns away because he doesnt know how to say he wants more. but hitori takes the hint and kisses him for real this time.

23. Where is their favorite place to be together?

in both cases it’s at home, because shuu finds it much easier to be intimate when they’re in privacy. i think all three of them really appreciate just getting to relax together.

24. Where do they first have sex?

what did i say about this being a christian blog

25. Why do they fight?

usually its because shuu said something a little too tactless. hes not so clueless that he’ll say something really obviously offensive, but sometimes he really doesn’t know what’s too much. but his bf is hopefully understanding of this and corrects him Still Firmly but still with some “but i know you didnt mean it like that, we’re okay” way, because chances are he really didnt.

for hitoshuu specifically, hitori has to be on shuu about eating properly and can sometimes get kind of annoyed about it. shuus kneejerk reaction is to then be offended because hes an adult who can take care of himself. but they calm down and make up when shuu remembers that hitori just worries for him, and hitori remembers that shuu doesnt not eat just to spite him.

for shuukazu, i can see kazuaki’s lack of responsibility and aloofness start to get on shuu’s nerves, and when he brings it up kazuaki thinks he’s just being mean. again, similarly to hitoshuu, they get over it when kazuaki reminds himself that shuu wants him to be able to take care of himself, and shuu reminds himself as well that he can be too abrasive and should work on it.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

hitoshuu: they dont have to right away but over time it would be good for them to be honest abt their respective traumas and the shit theyre dealing with instead of hiding it

shuukazu: similar, shuu should probably get around to being more open abt his shit. they might also want to have a talk abt what a serious relationship is gonna look like for them

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

hitoshuu: i answered this already! but again, its bc theyre so ~responsible~

shuukazu: ppl either see kazuaki being super clingy and think “man hes so overbearing, his poor partner 😒” or see shuu being emotionless and think “man theyre so cold, their poor boyfriend 😒” actually they gotta mind their own damn business

28. Why do they get jealous?

hitoshuu: i feel like hitori actually gets hit on a pretty decent amount. shuu is never happy about it, but the death glares he starts sending usually scare the person off anyway

shuukazu: both of them think the other is too good for them so if anyone looks at them with even a little too much interest the other is immediately like “well i guess this is it”

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

hitoshuu: little moments shuu loves is when hitori asks him how he is, how he slept. when he makes him dinner. hitori loves when shuu looks deep in thought, tucks his hair behind his ear, and he definitely likes to see him get along with nageki, which he does.

shuukazu: shuu loves when kazuakis eyes light up with excitement when he sees something he likes, especially when shuu realizes that hes one of those things too. he also loves kazuakis really nice hugs, especially when shuu just woke up from a nightmare. kazuaki loves how shuu listens to him intently, and asks questions about the things hes interested in, and sometimes rests his hand on him when hes getting tired.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

hitoshuu: both are important figures in each other’s lives, obv shuu helped nageki but also hitori is probably the first person to get even a little close to shuu after ryuuji died. theyre both just pockets of trauma but are doing their best so it would be good for them to support each other and try to heal. theyre both pretty dependable so when the going gets tough they’re each other’s rocks

shuukazu: theyre definitely the “it will never work” couple that ends up working anyway. shuu might think kazuaki is annoying at first but if ryuuji is any indication shuu definitely seems to gravitate towards people who are more chill and even a little silly, and when shuu realizes that kazuaki isnt as dumb as he makes himself seem that helps a lot. for kazuaki shuu definitely has a ~mysterious~ aspect that draws him in initially but when it wears off as he learns more about shuu, instead of the magic being gone he just starts finding him more relatable and endearing so their relationship actually improves.

[benisasoftboi]

A Very Serious Pokemon Theory

A while ago I wrote a 2,406 word essay about Pokémon Live! that I thought no one would read. And then, apparently, a few people actually did read it. I found this incredibly flattering - and have also taken it as a challenge to write something even more niche and completely unnecessary.

I will therefore be attempting to convince you of my theory that Pokemon Live! (the Pokemon live-action stage musical) and the Pokemon Christmas Bash music album actually take place in the same universe - one that is more similar to our own than any other in the franchise. My explanation will include reference to the American military, Jesus, politics, infinite multiverses, and the Broadway musical The Book of Mormon. I feel that I should warn for very frequent reference to homophobia, as well as a brief reference to something that could be seen as anti-Semitic. Also, someone will get a Tony Award at the end.

If any of that intrigues, please read on.

The Works In Question

I’m going to briefly explain what Pokemon Live! and Pokemon Christmas Bash are - the initiated can feel free to skip down to the next section if they want.

Pokemon Live! was a live action Pokemon musical that toured in the US from September 2000 to January 2001. It is best known among Pokemon fans for including a subplot that revealed that Ash’s mother and Giovanni dated, possibly implying that Giovanni is Ash’s father - leading to an incredible showdown between Ash and Giovanni where Giovanni, no joke, taunts Ash (a child) by implying that he slept with Ash’s mother, and then follows that up by telling him that nice guys finish last.

Outside of Pokemon fandom, it is mostly known because the character of James was played by a young Andrew Rannells. Rannells would go on to be a very successful Broadway and television actor. One of the things he’s best known for is originating the role of Elder Price in the musical The Book of Mormon. He has, as of writing, been personally nominated for two Tonys, but won neither. This will be relevant later.

Pokemon Live! can be watched for free on YouTube, albeit in very poor quality. It follows Ash trying to win a ‘Diamond Badge’, which is actually a ruse by Giovanni to train his (~mechanical marrrrrvel~) Mecha Mewtwo. It’s a really fun, bizarre ride, because there’s something weirdly earnest about it - like the creators were genuinely, sincerely trying to make a good musical. They did not succeed. It’s a dumpster fire. But a glorious one. 

Pokemon Christmas Bash is an album released at Christmas 2001. It features 10 Pokemon themed Christmas songs, some of which are covers of existing songs, and others which are entirely original. The singers are all members of the 4Kids anime cast. Most of the songs are hilarious, and it’s obvious that everyone was having fun with the whole thing (contrasting Pokemon Live!, which was apparently absolute hell to work on). 

Fun fact, at least one of the songs was written by Eric Stuart, James’s original English voice actor (unless you want to get anal about it, in which case I’m talking about James’s second voice actor, following Ted Lewis, who did all of seven episodes versus Stuart’s hundreds). All in all, there’s not a lot else to say about it (for now). It can all be listened to online, but a physical copy will set you back a hundred dollars or so.

Both Pokemon Live! and Pokemon Christmas Bash are American-made entries into the franchise, and are therefore considered non-canon by most fans. I find this attitude very boring, especially since the Generation 6 games established Pokemon to exist in an infinite multiverse rather than just one fictional universe with one canon. There’s no reason these two can’t exist in their own bizarro canon universe, far away from the rest of the franchise - and I am now going to begin presenting my theory.

The Weirdest Line In Pokemon Live!

Pokemon Live! is filled with strange moments. Mewtwo Ex Machina. Team Rocket on scooters. Brock stopping the entire plot to sing and dance about his polyamorous inclinations towards much older women. 

But the strangest (to me) is when James references Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. By name. Seriously, here’s the quote:

Well yeah, but where does [Mecha Mewtwo] stand on campaign finance reform, social security, and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, for the unfamiliar, was America’s policy regarding gay and bisexual individuals serving in the military, instituted in 1994, and repealed in 2011. The policy basically meant that if you wanted to serve, you had to stay in the closet - but also no one could harass or try to out you. In other words - ‘it’s okay that you’re having gay thoughts, so long as you never act upon them’. (Was that an inappropriate time to make a reference? Can’t be more inappropriate than referencing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in a Pokemon musical, surely...) 

I talked about the meta-level homophobic implications of this line last time, but here, we’re looking at this from an in-universe perspective. It raises important questions.

This must mean Pokemon Live! takes place in Pokemon America, as opposed to the Pokemon Very-Loosely-Japan that we see in the anime and games. So if there is a Pokemon American military, what other American staples are there Pokemon versions of?

So why is there homophobia in this version of the Pokemon universe? No other Pokemon universe has homophobia (sidenote, is it not a little bit darkly funny that the most homophobic piece of Pokemon media is the musical?). In fact, most other Pokemon universes are kind of progressive, if anything - very equal opportunity regardless of race, gender, nation regionality.

Pokemon Christmas Bash has us covered.

Nobody Don’t Like Christmas

Everything we need to know comes from the fourth song on this album - ‘Nobody Don’t Like Christmas’. 

This song is sung entirely by Meowth, and well. Look. Maddie Blaustein was a very talented voice actress. Perhaps she was also a good singer when not doing the Meowth voice, I don’t know. 

But Meowth should not sing. Singing and Meowth do not go together. No one should have heard that voice and thought ‘let’s give that character a song’. It happened in the anime as well, and it’s the worst part of an otherwise great episode. 

If you can look past the grating vocals, though, this song is incredible. The whole thing is a three minute diss track for every non-Christmas holiday, going everywhere from shaming the dateless on Valentine’s Day, to pointing out that Thanksgiving isn’t all that fun for the turkeys, to just straight up declaring St. Patrick’s Day to be dull.

But there are three important lines here to consider.

The first is my personal favourite line in the whole song. 

The Fourth of July / Can be a real drag / If you can’t get no one to salute your flag

Firstly, I love that Meowth is offering the warning that patriotism can only go so far and that eventually citizens’ blind loyalty to country will evaporate if given sufficient reason, leaving celebration of said country hollow and meaningless. A bold choice for Christmas 2001. Not to mention a necessary message for today. 

More importantly though, this suggests that these songs might be being sung by specifically American versions of the main cast. The Fourth of July is a holiday only an American would reference in a song like this, as no other country celebrates it - it definitely wouldn’t come up if they were, say, British, for example (in that case, would probably mention Guy Fawkes Night instead). Even more unlikely if they’re Japanese.

However - it’s worth remembering that Meowth is actually canonically American (he is from Hollywood), meaning it isn’t unreasonable for him to make this reference. This is where line number two comes into play.

Memorial Day is a day to forget!

That’s right, everyone.

Meowth hates the troops.

It’s true. Why else would he dismiss this holiday?

But why does Meowth hate the troops?

We return to Pokemon Live! for answers.

Pokemon and the American Military

Interestingly enough, these are not the only franchise entries that mention the American military. Gym Leader Lt. Surge was explicitly described to be an American soldier in the early games (also fun but not really relevant fact, his anime counterpart shares his English voice actress with Meowth - if him having a voice actress seems odd, the explanation is that Blaustein was a trans woman, and so mostly played male roles as they suited her voice better). 

Real world locations have been gradually phased out as the franchise has continued, and later games implied that he is now from Unova, the region based on America. 

Meowth never seemed to have a problem with Surge in the anime, suggesting that in that version, he does not hate the troops. So what’s different in Christmas Bash?

There’s only one explanation.

Remember, Pokemon Live! establishes the existence of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Also remember - James and Meowth are good friends. And James is gay.

What? That’s always been ambiguous, you say? 

Go watch Pokemon Live! and tell me that version of James isn’t gay. Watch one scene with him in it. Go watch it and then tell me that man is straight. Go and do it. You can’t. Pokemon Live! James is gay as Christmas.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is a policy that discriminates against gay people. James may not be a soldier, but it still does reflect social attitudes towards discrimination, and so is something he would likely oppose on general principle. And as James’s friend, Meowth would likely do the same.

Meowth hates the troops because he is an ally.

And so we have our definitive connection. This also confirms that we are in America in both entries.

Probably Blasphemy

So what’s the third important line then?

Who wants to go through all that Yom Kippuren?  

A reference to Yom Kippur. This is a Jewish holiday that I do not feel equipped to explain, due to my definitely not being Jewish, but I understand it to be extremely important in the Jewish faith. 

Essentially saying that it’s too tedious in a song about how great Christmas is doesn’t seem like a great look, 4Kids, just saying. I doubt it was done maliciously but like... still.

However, this confirmation of the existence of Judaism confirms something much bigger - the existence of religion. Another American staple! 

Up until now, this has been ambiguous. Sure, we’ve been referencing Christmas all this time, but there have been no references to Christ, so we could assume that Christmas is a secular holiday with a weird name. It’s already somewhat secular in the real world - my family couldn’t get less religious and we celebrate it. But if there is Judaism, it is totally reasonable to assume there is Christianity. And that opens a whole floodgate.

So firstly, this finally gives us an explanation for where Pokemon Don’t Ask Don’t Tell probably came from! After all, which religion is most associated with homophobia in real-world America? (No hate towards non-homophobic Christians, just for the record, but like... this is a problem, to put it mildly). So this further solidifies the connection, putting them in the same universe.

Plus, the song ends with Meowth stating that he actually hates Christmas! So Meowth is again being an ally - he’s just, like, the kind that takes it really, really far and maybe needs to chill just a little?

Secondly, this makes a certain line from another song on Pokemon Christmas Bash even funnier, where Brock replaces the beginning of the hymn Joy To The World with:

Nurse Joy is a girl / She sure is fun / But I like Jenny too!

Because this means that covering that song with those lyrics isn’t just kind of inappropriate out-of-universe, it’s also inappropriate in-universe!

But what’s really messing with me is the hundreds of new questions Pokemon Christianity raises. How do they reconcile Arceus with God? Is God in this universe a metal goat, or do they coexist? Was there Pokemon Jesus? I’m not sure I’m okay with Pokemon Jesus. If there is Pokemon Jesus, did Pokemon help with the crucifixion (the Timburr line seem like they’d have been helpful)? Or was Jesus like, a baby Arceus, and therefore probably quite difficult to crucify? Is there Pokemon Heaven? Is there Pokemon Hell? How do the Pokemon Christians feel about Mr. Mime, who is clearly an insult to God? What is a Pokemon church service like? Are there different sects of Pokemon Christianity? Were there Pokemon religious wars? Are there Pokemon Catholics? Pokemon Protestants? Pokemormons???

I don’t like this.

And here’s another question.

Remember how I mentioned how Andrew Rannells played James? And how he also originated Elder Price in Book of Mormon?

Well. Here’s the thing. 

Pokemormons are a very real possibility. If there is Christianity, and also America, then it wouldn’t be unlikely for them to exist in this universe.

However, we have determined that this is one universe, and therefore, James and Andrew Rannells cannot coexist. Only James exists in this universe.

So who first played Elder Price in The Book of Pokemormon?

Okay, So, Full Disclosure, This Is Basically Just My Fanfiction Now, But the Sunk Cost Fallacy Says You’ll Probably Stick Around Since You’ve Already Read Over 2,000 Words Of This Nonsense By This Point, and I’m Going to Take Advantage of That

I think it was James. 

I think James went on to start a Broadway career. I think he was in an unlicensed Karate Kid musical, and was Tall in Jersey Boys, and then wound up as Elder Price. I think he did a great job. I think he got nominated for a Tony when award season came round, along with lots of other people involved with The Book of Pokemormon. 

But he didn’t win it. Norbert Leo Butz won it for Catch Me If You Can (I had to look that up, was planning on changing it to a Pokemon-joke title - but what do you know, it already has one. Serendipity!). 

James no longer has a Broadway career. But he does have a Tony.

He stole it.

Because here’s the thing - Team Rocket are actually pretty good at crime when Ash and Co. aren’t around. Remember that one time they stole an entire stadium?

They could have literally stolen the whole show, but instead they just stole one thing - that Tony Award. And so James now has an award for Best Actor in a Musical, as well as the unofficial award for Most Extra Thing Ever Done At The Tonys. 

James disappears, but his legacy remains. In this universe, all Elder Prices have lavender hair - fans reject any Price who tries to avoid this. 

Meanwhile, Jessie, James and Meowth sail off into the sunset in their balloon. James is happy. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell will be repealed soon. He will have a chat with Meowth about overzealous allyship, though he appreciates it all the same. He smiles at his friend Jessie and takes her hand. Christmas is a long way off, but he can’t help but be excited all of a sudden. He’ll spend it with his family - Jessie, Meowth, and now, his stolen Tony Award.

In the meantime, they’ll do what they love best.

Be gay and do crime.

What Have We Learnt?

This is the most homophobic Pokemon universe we know of

It’s also a universe where everything is set in America

Meowth is surprisingly politically aware

Meowth hates the troops

There was a Pokemon Jesus

4Kids maybe should have hired some sensitivity readers

James from Pokemon possesses more Tony Awards than Andrew Rannells 

I have way too much free time

Anyway, this was 2,698 words long and a terrible use of literally everyone’s time. It is rambly and extremely self-indulgent and goes off on countless tangents and you could probably poke like ten holes in it without trying. Please don’t take any of this seriously. It’s now 4 AM. Thank you and goodnight. 

[jarmes]

Blind Shield Nuzlocke Notes 9

-After feeding him an ungodly amount of curry, Snowball evolved into a Frosmoth, boing HV the Toxtricity, Freight the Coalossal, Riot the Falinks, Echo the Obstagoon, and Nosferatu the Dreadnaw on my League team

-Side note, while I was grinding Snowball up to level fifty I swapped my main team for the backups so they wouldn’t get over leveled. Loraine evolves into a Centiscortch and Lord Tophat evolved into a Weezing

-Second side note, I just realized I accidentally used the letter L twice, ruining my naming convention

-On to Wyndon, which is based of one of the largest cities in Europe (the biggest?) and is so big it has a monorail to get around

-Oh god, there’s a guy offering a trade for a duraldon in return for Snowball. I am tempted, but no

-“Prepare to see all the forms of rotom” where’s fridge and fan you liar

-Idea: make a ground type bike rotom catchable next gen

-So an Alcremie almost one shorted Snowball but he held on because he has high affection. Thank god for curry

-“How many companies does Chairman Rose own?” He’s so obviously evil

-Screw What I said about Chirchester, THIS is a fancy hotel

-Ah man, no monorail animation?

-I gotta say, Windon is a bit of a disappointment. It looks amazing, but there isn’t a lot to do, especially when compared to Lumiose or Castelia. I can’t even ride the London Eye!

-“I feel like Challenger Blinkin has a balanced team, but he doesn’t have any way to decisively win” say that to my face bitch

-Hop and Marnie are at the stadium, bet I’ll face them and Bede in the championship

Team going in to the challengers cup, all level 55:

-Freight the Coalossal, caught in Galar Mine. Holding the rocky helmet. Knows Rock Slide, Heat Crash, Bulldoze, and Tar Shot

-Riot the Falinks, caught on South Route 8. Holding the Muscle Band. Knows Brick Break, First Impression, Close Combat, and No Retreat

-Nosferatu the Dreadnaw, caught in Giant’s Cap. Holds the Assault Vest. Knows Liquidation, Rock Slide, Crunch, and Ice Fang

-Echo the Obstagoon, caught on Route 3. Holds the leftovers. Knows Night Slash, Obstruct, Take Down, and Brick Break

-High Voltage the Toxtricity. Gifted on Route 5. Holds the Chiice Scarf. Knows Overdrive, Poison Jab, Boomburst, and Toxic

-Snowball the Frosmoth. Caught on North Route 8. Holds the Shell Bell. Knows Bug Buzz, Aurora Beam, Blizzard, and Quiver Dance

-Only four trainers competed the gym challenge. How interesting considering I have three rivals

-Wait, that means I won’t fight one

-Leading with Snowball because I have a feeling Marnie or Bede will be the first opponent

-And it’s Marnie, not surprising. I assume Hop will be next

-I just got quiver dance literally a minute before this battle (rare candies) and its perfect to take out Marnies dark team

-Also no healing or switch mode I’m deciding

Marnie

-First up is Liepard, predicting a fake out and going for quiver dance

-It used Torment. Gg, Marnie

-Next up is scrafty, dynamaxing to make sure aurora beam takes it out

-Marnie sent out Toxicroak, I did the same thing. should be able to take out all of the troublesome Pokémon before dm runs out

-Out goes her signature, more people, who goes down in one hit

-Marnie sent out grimsnarl as my dm ran out, going for another bug buzz

-And she gyantamaxed and almost killed me with snooze. But I lived

-Full sweep by the new guy

Hop

-And Hop is my opponent in the final. Am I the only competent trainer is this country?

-Predicting Corviknight as his lead, so HV is mine

-I honestly want to lose someone, just because Hop deserves a win

-Oh, he started with Dubwool

-Overdrive, cotton guard, full restore overdrive, overdrive, dubwool dead

-Hop switched to Snorlax. Riot would be better, but I’ll stick with the overdrive strat

-Oh shit almost killed me with high horsepower Riot it is

-And a brick break takes it out

-I think I’m a bit over leveled

-Hop sent out Corviknight, switched to freight, tanked a scary face

-Dynamaxed, took it out with heat crash after tanking a steal wing

-Pincuring barely survived a bulldoze. I took it out afterward, but I won’t have dynamax to take on Rillaboom

-Big monkey used mass quake, it almost killed freight, and somehow took no damage from heat crash

-Switching to Echo to stall the dynamax with obstruct

-Oh dynamax bypasses protect that’s fair

-Whatever, we’re on an even playing field now. Time to use double edge I learned from Beating Marnie

-Used obstruct to get a bit of hp because I was below half, took it out with two night slashed

-Well, he didn’t kill anyone, but he got close, so he should feel proud

-Now to take on Leon

-Or we can get takeout that’s cool too

-The apocalypse is going to happen before I fight Leon, isn’t it

-Fuck off paparazzi

-“Beating Hop was just luck” HAHAHAHAHA

-“Hop was just the rival a knew he was” a bad one

-“Think you can win the finals” Yes I’m the main character

-How does this work, plot wise, if you lose?

-Oh, Leon’s missing. Of course he is

-Leon’s at badguy’s base I was right apocalypse time

-Also, I don’t recall being able to go to rose tower. This implies windon is larger than I thought

-Piers doesn’t want the finals delayed...perhaps because the leaders are fought in the finals!

-That’s How we fight Bede because he’s balloon tower defense’s leader now

-TEAM SKULL ARE MY MINIONS NOW!

-The monorail goes through the Ferris wheel that isn’t safe

-Oh look Oleana is interfering because she’s evil

-Let’s go find the douchebag wearing sunglasses at night so we can mug him

-Okay, this dumb motherfucker decided to hide his sunglasses not by taking them off, but by staring at a goddamn wall

-God I’m over leveled

-Team skull helps me out!

-It took me 20 minutes to find the man in the phone booth

-Piers took our enemies with rock music!

-This tower is hella evil

-Murder elevator tower

-So I started this tower with Snowball out front and they only use steel types so I have to keep switching to Freight

-Also Hop starts with a dubwool the shit man

-Take a chill pill Ole

-Wait, you want to stop me so Leon can’t fight me so he’ll be sad and manipulable? Seriously?

-Frosslass, Salazzle, Milotic? So beauty/feminine pokemon

-Oh shit leg onion almost killed Snowball with acrobatics

-HER FINAL POKÉMON IS A GARBADOR YES!

-And I used my dm on Snowball so I’m taking this thing out with a non dmed HV

-It has boats it’s trash island just like galar

-Nevermind, HV’s almost dead. Switching to Echo

-Tanked two blows, time for night slash

-Ha! It uses toxic spikes!

-It did it again now it’s dead!

-Oh wow hand drawn image

-Leon’s still a good boy! Also disaster in a thousand years what

-Oh, Rose isn’t an evil coal baron. He’s an evil Elon Musk. So normal Elon Musk

-Wait, we aren’t fighting him? He’s...he’s evil! We know he’s evil! His minions tried to kill us five minutes ago!

-Whatever, it’s champion time

-I’ve been here before, Hop. I fought you here

-All of the leaders are in the lockers its rematch time

-Wait, no Bede or Opal

-I have no idea who I’ll be facing. Riot is up front I guess

-Bede’s back bitches!

-Oh shit, Riot is my lead. Wait I have a dark type I’ll be fine

-How did he even get here isn’t there security

Gym Leader Bede

-He’s starting with a Mawhile, Switching up his style

-Oh right Mawhile is a fairy type I should have switched. Whatever, it’s dead now

-I actually don’t have a good counter for gardevoir. Nosferatu cause he has an assault vest I guess.

-Dont use a full restore you little bitch

-Gardevoir down, onto Rapidash. The one that doesn’t explode when it sees a rock water

-This thing is so goddamn girly I love it

-I’m pretty sure it’s psychic, but I don’t know for sure so I’m cautious on switching to Echo

-Ha! Psycho Cut doesn’t affect me!

-Oh shit dazzling gleam. NVMD it did jack shit

-Good News: rapidash is dead. Bad news: my dark type only has 21 hit points

-Switching off Set makes the same so much more difficult I should have done this from the start

-Bede switched to hatterene and gygantamaxed

-OH GOD IT SMITED MY SNOWBALL AND ALMOST KILLED IT

-Okay, back to Nosferatu

-Okay, Nosferatu’s almost dead, back to Echo

-Switching to stall out dynamax is such a bullshit strategy

-Scouted with Obstruct, it used dazzling gleam

-Switching to Freight because she’s my only Pokémon who isn’t poison type or almost dead

-Took next to no damage, now for a max flare to end this

-GG, Bede. I know this is faint praise but that was the toughest rival battle in the game

-Okay, now for the real leaders

-I know I’m not fighting Raihan or Milo cause they’re fighting each other, so I have to worry about Water/Fire/Ghost/Ice/Dark for my first match. Nosferatu is the best for that lineup so he’s leading

-Okay, it’s Nessa. Not great, but I was tempted to go with freight instead of Nosferatu so it could be worse

Nessa

-First is Golispod. Eat rock slide

-It emergency exited to baraskewda, Switching to HV

-OH GOD DRILL RUN NEW PLAN RIOT I GUESS

-You know what? Not saving the dm. Riot flutterbied barraskewda to death

-Oh no, pelliper. Flying types are bad for riot. B: Drizzle

-It tanked a Max knuckle and used tailwind I’m fucked

-Switching back to Nosferatu. Took out pelliper but took a ton of damage. I’d switch, but the next Pokémon is a pelliper and I’m not a coward

-It almost killed by with waterfall but it’s dead now

-That leaves golispod and gm Dreadnaw. I’m going back to riot

-Killed golispod with first impression because irony

-Riots almost dead, but a close combat brought it low. Switching to Echo

-A powerful offensive move that lays stealth rock that’s broken.

-Onstruct to tank, then kill it with night slash

-OH GOD IT OUTSPED ME AND KILLED ECHO WITH LIQUIDATION

-HV barely survived the stealth rock, but Echo can Rest In Peace now

-Accidentally clicked away from the tournament screen, only saw that Piers went on. Going in pretty blind

-Replacing Echo with Warrior the grapploct. I know it’s doubling up on fighting, but it’s the only box Pokémon up to snuff

-Used some tms, current moveset Waterfall, Superpower, Brick Break, Dig

-You know, this tragedy would have been averted if I allowed healing

-Okay, making me fight the Ghost leader right after my Obstagoon dies is a dick move, game

Allister

-Is this a horrible set of working conditions destroying the games industry? CAUSE ITS CRUNCH TIME

-Duskinoir? CRONCH!

-Polteageist? CRONCH!

-Chandelure? Liquidation, actually

-Cursola? DYNAMAX CRONCH!

-Gygantamax Gengar? IRONIC VORR MONSTER CRONCH!

-So yeah, I griffin McElroy’d Allister to death

-Next up is Raihan, then Leon and Rose and box doggo and the ending. But I’ll handle that tomorrow cause it’s 2:30 AM and I got school tomorrow

-I mean, it’s in the afternoon, but I also have homework due at the start of class

[crystalelemental]

I guess there’s new Sword and Shield news.  You can expect salt, but perhaps not as much as you’d think.

Let’s start with this: Gigantamaxing or whatever the fuck it’s called is straight up just Mega Evolution downgraded to three turns.  Fuck this stupid adjustment, this is absolutely ridiculous.  Oh, but the new moves are sure gonna be great!  Like the Rock one that just deals crazy damage and sets up Stealth Rock!  Yeah, instead of nerfing the biggest problem with competitive, let’s just make it even more easy to do!  Fucking Christ, you haven’t even shown off all the Pokemon, and you’ve somehow already broken competitive play worse than it already was.  I hate this.  It’s literally just, point for point, exactly the same concept as mega evolution, but for no reason, it’s adjusted to be some three-turn power-up with Z-moves built in for some reason.  Because balance!  I regret to inform you, Pokemon Company, that the problem here is no universal buff will ever play out for balance.  By making this effectively a universal buff, you’ve essentially just made it so that Lando-T and Heatran can mega evolve.  So if you honestly believe that this is going to make things equal, and that people will try out all sorts of combinations of Gigantamaxing or Dynamaxing of favorite Pokemon?  You’re way more incompetent than I thought.  You learned absolutely nothing from Z-moves.

That said...if this means that some Pokemon Dynamax, which is like a flat boost to stats, while others Gigantamax, which is considered a much more potent improvement on their stats, abilities, and typing?  That’s essentially bringing back Mega Evolution, which is what I wanted in the first place.  This means Mawile and Banette have something to work with.  My only complaint is that it lasts 3 turns.  That severely limits some of these mega forms.  Venusaur is a good example.  For three turns, it gains a ton of bulk...and promptly loses it, and is easily taken out again.  Mawile is super powerful for a turn, but because it’s still slow, it’s reliant on Sucker Punch...which makes it easy to play around with no repercussions now.  Banette gets to be super good, but good luck playing to its actual strengths of status spreading and priority Destiny Bond when you only have three turns to work with.  It’s essentially bringing back mega evolution, but it’s also a severe downgrade for those Pokemon, meaning they take a serious hit.

Of course, all of this is assuming it’s actually just a different form of Dynamaxing.  Like, the Serebii page specifies that Pokemon can only do this if they were caught in Max Raid Battles, which is severely limiting in its own right, but also implies that this isn’t quite mega evolution.  Best case scenario, mega evolution is now considered some inherent thing within the Pokemon, assigned by whatever made them a Max Raid Battle Pokemon, which means you no longer need mega stones, they can just do the mega evolution and hold an item like Mega Rayquaza, but it’s been adjusted to have that level of power for only three turns.  Worst case scenario, Pokemon with mega evolutions don’t have Gigantamax forms, and this is being considered a complete do-over on megas.  In which case, please give Absol’s Gigantamax form a Fairy typing and Tough Claws, like it deserved.

Really, I’m still incredibly apprehensive, but this is, essentially, the return of Megas, with an attempt to rebalance the system.  Which...is what they said they would do, and potentially could go over well.  Only potentially, though.  The Gigantamax Pokemon we’ve seen keep the same abilities as their base form, so there’s no guarantee anything good comes from this.  But it’s at least a slight hope that they’re not just removing megas entirely.

On to other things.  Not only are there version exclusives, but now the types in the gyms are different depending on the version!  ...show of hands, anyone else think that’s a little much?  I know we had Iris and that other guy in Gen 5, but they were at least both Dragon type, and the difference was mostly cosmetic.  But now we have one version giving a Fighting type leader, and the other giving a Ghost type leader.  I dunno.  I’m not really mad about it, it just strikes me as a really odd choice.  Their mains are Hitmontop and Mimikyu.  Not surprised Mimikyu was favored enough to make it in, but you heard it here first, folks: Sword and Shield will be making Hitmonchan a competitively viable Pokemon.  After all, one of the purposes of trimming down the Pokedex was to balance the meta, so this is hard confirmation that Hitmonchan will be competitive viable with this game’s release.

Version exclusives are starting to be noted, and...yeah.  Thanks, I guess.  Version exclusive Pokemon definitely isn’t a useless, awful concept at this point anymore.

New Pokemon, cool.  One of them in Gigantamax form is a huge cake, so I guess that’s a thing?  What kind of bizarre design is its base form going to ha-OH MY GOD THAT’S THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN!  Alcremie is so precious.  Please don’t evolve it.  That’s actually my favorite now.  Holy shit I love you tiny whipped cream child.  And Gigantamaxing basically means it got a mega, so that’s pretty cool.  Oh man, this is starting to win me over.  Keep it coming, what else we got?

Okay Rolycoly.  That’s a neat little thing.  And apparently its new ability doubles speed if hit by a Fire or Water attack.  Since it’s Rock, Water is dangerous, but it might be able to survive.  Switching in on Fire attacks, though?  That’s gonna be fantastic.  Unlike Alcremie, who is perfection, I kinda hope this one evolves.  It just looks like something that would have an evolution, you know?

Duraludon is pretty cool looking, and Dragon/Steel is a great typing, I’m kinda glad we got another.  I hope this one’s good, but I’m scared it’s the pseudo-legend.  It fights with Tyranitar.  That implies this is a higher-tier thing.  I want to believe that no 4x weakness means it can’t be the pseudo-legend, but...I don’t think that’s a requirement, considering we had Metagross, and I think Goodra counted as well.

That’s it for actually new ones, but I never commented on the last two: Yamper’s cute, and Impidimp is the stuff of nightmares, why did they make that the first Fairy/Dark type?

New characters are...fine?  Fighting type leader seems cool, Ghost-leader seems kinda weird.  Rose and Oleana are...interesting.  I guess.  Mostly Rose has me worried.  He seems like a sports person.  I know they’ve only mentioned the Pokemon League, but I still worry every reveal about seeing Pokemon Soccer as a thing.

Overall, I...I largely like this one.  Mark it here, folks: this is the first good reveal for me since we started this. Not since the starter reveal have I felt positively about this game.  Well...”postitively.”  There’s still a lot of concern I have around Gigantamaxing, whether aspects of mega evolution are continued in this form or not, whether something like Gigantamax Gyarados is getting the Water/Dark typing with Mold Breaker, or it’s just keeping Water/Flying and Intimidate/Moxie like its base form, etc.  A lot of my positive feelings on this come down to whether Gigantamaxing is really just a re-tooled mega evolution.  If it’s mega evolution repurposed for a three-turn effect, and we can expect adjustments in the transformation, that’s fine.  I will actually be completely okay with that, because at the end of the day, Gigantamaxing feels like it’s doing the same thing mega evolution did: giving more significant boosts to the weaker Pokemon that needed it.  That is literally all I have ever asked of you, Pokemon Company.  If you can deliver on that, I will retract my decision to not get this game.

Although I gotta be real, Alcremie is already making me reconsider on its own...

[pokemonmasterscheats-blog]

Pokemon Masters Guide

Pokemon Masters Guide is a guide for hot new game. Step up is somewhat more commonplace. You level up after each battle, just as by utilizing manuals that are given as remunerations in-game. Step up your Sync Pair builds their details in battle so it is critical to stay aware of the levels. The coach manuals don't give some other advantage so use them as required, particularly on the off chance that you get another Sync Pair that you have to step up rapidly. You can likewise include new, progressively incredible moves to your Sync Pairs by utilizing preparing machines — and later tonics — to overhaul them. Bosses is relied upon to dispatch for iOS and Android on August 29, 2019, despite the fact that may arrive anytime during Q3 2019, so we'll make sure to keep this page refreshed. In case you're anxious to download Pokemon Masters the minute it drops on your individual stage, you can enroll enthusiasm on Google Play Store now. Dissimilar to Pokemon GO, its fight mechanics will be undeniably more top to bottom, giving various roads past tapping the screen and spamming things. It appears you'll collaborate with changed coaches all through your adventure, each with their own accounts to advise and Pokemon to battle with. Particularly a game intended for telephones, Pokémon Masters is still a great deal of fun, with complex game mechanics, just as that exceptionally significant "Gatherers" attitude. The game discharges formally in September however in the event that you are in Canada — or you are somewhat tricky — you can play it today. Pokémon Masters inclines intensely on our craving for sentimentality, also our need to finish accumulations, by requesting that we travel around the island of Pasio, gathering things as we go. I utilized a burly Alolan Dugtrio as one of my tanks for its speed and protections. Snorlax will populate in the room where the Chansey bring forth in Cerulean Cave 2f. To guarantee a greater amount of this uncommon Pokémon pop, utilize any kind of bait. Give them Toxic, Protect, and any variety of solid move, for example, Psychic or Earthquake. It's impossible they'll get an opportunity to assault by any stretch of the imagination, and are there for when you're compelled to change out, or need to Toxic slow down any of Red's husky group. For the total of this fight, I'd propose taking the one hit KO on any of his Pokémon when you realize you can. Utilize Psychic to murder the Machamp. Arcanine has Roar, and it gets a kick out of the chance to utilize it on you because of the Calm Mind buff (and some of the time, even without). You may outspeed it and have the option to escape a Psychic before you're compelled to swtich. On the off chance that you get a Pokémon got out that can tank a hit, attempt to utilize a Toxic, at that point Protect. Just pokemon with a * after the name can advance. Exploring 10 at once does not seem to influence rates, dissimilar to some gachapon games. I'd suggest being thrifty with your pulls. In case you're purchasing Gems, the 1-every day arrangement is far better than blowing a 10 pull. Scout Points are a whale repairman to let individuals who spend an abundant excess cash on F2P versatile games to feel somewhat less ripped off in the wake of blowing seven days' compensation in 5 minutes. On the off chance that you fill the scout indicates metter you get pick any Sync Pair you need from the pool—however the prerequisites are outrageous. All coaches travel with only one Pokemon, and the mentor and Pokemon together are known as a Sync Pair. Mentors can bolster their Pokemon with wellbeing lifts and other such buffs. In a perfect bend, you have the choice to mate up with well disposed Sync Pairs that you experience around the Pasio locale. Doing as such will enable you to assume responsibility for the whole group in exceptional 3v3 fights against adversary adversaries. Oddly, yet in addition in all respects intriguingly, Pokemon Master's fights happen continuously. That is it for our manual for all that you have to think about Pokémon Masters! Is it true that you are amped up for this better approach to encounter the Pokémon universe? Tell us in the remarks underneath! For the underlying arrival of Pokemon Masters, there are a couple of explicit strides to getting things running. This is tragically constrained to Android, yet the guide on downloading is accessible underneath: As the fundamental draw of Pokemon Masters, there are two different ways to open mentors and their Pokemon, alluded to as Sync Pairs in-game. Every coach has a solitary Pokémon, and you'll have to frame a group of three mentors and their Pokémon to fight your way to the highest point of the Pokémon Masters League. Pokémon Masters is allowed to-begin, implying that part (or all) of the game will be free, yet some in-application buys may accelerate advance. Battle is ongoing in Pokémon Masters. Your group of three Pokémon coaches and their Pokémon go head to head against another group of three constrained by a PC adversary. Mentors can likewise get in on the activity by utilizing capacities that buff or mend their Pokémon. Seeing as you can generally observe them coming, use Protect directly before they tear through the majority of your HP. Exchange with an Electric-Type move to attach more harm for looking for basic hits. The Lapras never utilized Confuse Ray on me, yet don't hesitate to do as such yourself in the event that you'd like to go that course. In the event that it utilizes Thunderbolt, you're likely dead, yet on the off chance that you keep at it, as this round of karma will make sure that you Toxic slow down your rival in around 5 or 10 endeavors. After the 4 instructional exercise battles and the Scouting instructional exercise, you'll be kicked back to the fundamental menu to download the remainder of Pokemon Masters (another 660 MB). Clearing part 5 opens Skyla and Swana as a playable Sync Pair, just as opening the Events menu. Opens Co-operation play just as Brock and Tyranitar synchronize pair. Center play of this stage is the least demanding approach to get Gym Leader Notes for max level top opening. Each Sync Pair has an extraordinary smaller than normal story that gives you a chance to get a few things and perhaps Evolve their Pokemon (if the mon isn't as of now completely developed in any case). He will likely use Heat Wave, taking down most any member of your team. After your Roar-ed Pokémon faints, send back out Mega Mewtwo Y. Once again, you can try to use a Calm Mind here, and likely should. Either way, it will die to two or three Psychics, depending on your Mewtwo's level and the Toxic's stage. Arcanine will end up doing a decent amount of damage with Heat Wave, so try your best to take it out as quickly as possible, especially since it can choose to use Will-O Wisp. It is accessible from the "Shop" Menu. To kick you off however, the game gives you a lot of preparing machines to give every one of your Sync Pairs another move. Obviously, what I consider as tenderfoot data you may not, so help me out and ask the same number of inquiries as you like. The more I think about your needs the more data I can give you. Details are rebalanced from mainline Pokemon; detail spreads will for the most part be natural, yet numerous pokemon have had their Special Defense and Defense details brought to be progressively equivalent. This implies a cumbersome mon is a massive mon, and furthermore implies you can be somewhat more thoughtless about which assault type to utilize; the greatest def/spdef spread I've seen is about half a greater amount of one than the other. Likewise, speed currently decides Move Gauge recovery, instead of turn request. Every one of the 3 pokemon's speed are joined to decide the rate. We didn't get much data on them, yet they look like fueled up Pokémon assaults. Pokemon GO should make some room on the versatile gaming position of royalty, since DeNA's exertion may be quick to sit close by Niantic's million-production juggernaut. Going about as an increasingly conventional section in the pretending arrangement, Pokemon Masters is advancing toward iOS and Android in the coming months, and it would seem that a great deal of fun. Reported during the Pokemon Press Conference not long ago, Trusted Reviews has arranged all that you have to think about Pokemon Masters including all the most recent news, discharge date, ongoing interaction, trailers and that's only the tip of the iceberg. Everything has all the earmarks of being clock based, including your development check, so you'll must be snappy just as savvy with your basic leadership. Likewise, assaults need to energized before use, and, when prepared, you can tap the screen to release hazardous Sync Moves for reward harm. Pokemon Champion's greatest draw, for me at any rate, is that, at dispatch, it'll highlight pretty much every notorious character from the prior Pokemon games, including rival coaches and exercise center pioneers. There are set to be 65 Sync Pairs when the game dispatches this late spring, and you can probably expect a ton all the more once the game's updates begin taking off. Much like different fights on this rundown, you need the adversary's transition to miss. It will spam Iron Tail at you, which kills you in one hit, however has just 90% exactness. Catch your very own Aerodactyl by visiting the side of the historical center by removing at the hedge. Get the Old Amber from the researcher in the back, and offer it to the researcher in the last room in Cinnabar Island's lab to get back a Level 44 Aerodactyl. In any case, kindly, don't invest $80 at an energy in this game. In-application buys make you need to purchase more in-application buys, so space them out to set aside your cash and rational soundness. The most ideal way I have found is to utilize Google Play Gift Cards to add an equalization to your telephone. When you have spent that gift voucher, you are accomplished for that month. It shields me from overspending. There are a few cool ways you can improve your Sync Pairs in Pokémon Masters including advancing your Pokémon, step up through battle, and by utilizing things to add new moves to your arms stockpile. It will have in-game buys too however it's not so much clear yet whether that will incorporate a buy to open the full game or if that will just mean there are smaller scale exchanges for specific things. In the event that you;re ending up in need an of a Pokémon fix and are getting a little tire of Pokémon GO, this is one to watch. You can likewise spend a diminished measure of an alternate cash you can procure in-game once every day to open a character of your decision. And afterward ultimately, playing the story mode will allow you to fight and afterward select mentors and their related pokémon into your list. The story mode itself is planned much like Fire Emblem Heroes, where you advance through sections with little, discourse overwhelming cutscenes that ordinarily end in fights. DeNA made a custom story for the game highlighting a couple of unique characters on another island called Pasio, and you play as an interesting male or female character that begins matched with Pikachu.

[greyscatch]

Pokemon sacred gold trainer rosters

#Pokemon sacred gold trainer rosters update

#Pokemon sacred gold trainer rosters full

I should hire some beta testers to speedrun test or something. Strictly speaking I don't think there's too much more that I need to do, I think there's still some bugs to fix and the remainder of the game to test but that's about it. I don't really want to promise anything that I can't keep, so I'll try and state something once I'm nearer completion. I haven't worked on SGSS for the last couple days so I'm a bit behind where I wanted to release things mostly because I'm getting kind of bored with it and I got caught up in something else. Weird.Ĭlick to expand.You guys are gonna either hate me or love me. Thanks in advance ^.^Įdit: So I managed to get out of the well without any pokemon fainting/leveling up, I'm now in the gym and I can level up fine without it crashing and fainting is fine now too, so I guess it was just in that location. So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's to do with the copious amount of cheats I have used but still wanted to post here just to make sure. I'm guessing it might have something to do with cheats as I have used a fair amount of them already :/ I have all TM's x90 (not hm's), all medicine x900, all wild Pokemon are shiny and a x2 Exp cheat on. I'm using DeSmuME as No$Gba would randomly have a rom image crash. This started happening as soon as I got the Treecko from the quiz dude in the same town. I'm currently in the Slowpoke well at Azalea Town.

#Pokemon sacred gold trainer rosters update

I hope to update this thread periodically, should my schedule allow it of course.Hey, sorry I didn't read all the way through the thread, there's a lot of pages! But I'm currently having an issue with Sacred Gold, where any time a Pokemon of mine faints or levels up, the game crashes. If I black out at any point of the game, the challenge is over.įor convenience purposes, I'll list here all the posts I'll make during this challenge. Being able to do so would render all of the other rules pointless. Strongly implied is a prohibition against voluntarily resetting and reloading the game when things go wrong. Generally this means that the trainer can keep fighting Pokémon in the area until one is encountered that has not been caught yet, which then immediately counts as the first encounter.ħ. Species/Dupes Clause: Adjusting the first encounter rule to prevent the player from having to catch multiple of the same Pokémon, for the sake of variety. Not officially enforcing the rules until the player has Poké Balls and can catch Pokémon.Ħ. If the last number is 1-3 the player starts with a Grass type, 4-6 is Fire type, 7-9 is Water type, 0 is the player's choice.ĥ. Starter Pokémon is based on the player's Trainer ID number. The player must nickname all of their Pokémon, for the sake of forming stronger emotional bonds.Ĥ. Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead, and must be released or put in the Pokémon Storage System permanently.ģ. Shiny Pokémon also do not apply to this rule.Ģ. If there's a static encounter in the area, the player is allowed to capture them despite already capturing a Pokémon in that area. If the first Pokémon encountered faints or flees, there are no second chances. The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else. Without futher ado, here it is the list of the rules I'll apply to this Nuzlocke.ġ. However, the most unique feature of this game is the possibility to obtain Pokémon which normally require a trade to evolve by simply giving them the item that triggers the evolution or a particular Stone. Some moves have also been changed, making them more useful.

#Pokemon sacred gold trainer rosters full

Moreover, the difficulty of the game has been increased: trainers will have higher level Pokémon and Gym Leaders will have a full team of 6 when challenging them. This opens the door to more variegated and broken teams as well as to events thanks to which you can catch legendary Pokémon. There are some differences from it tho: first and foremost, all 493 Pokémon are obtainable. What's Storm Silver? Storm Silver, as the name suggests, it's an hack rom based on Pokémon Soul Silver. These rules are self-imposed by the player, but more on them later. For those who are unaware of what a Nuzlocke is, it's basically a set of rules intended to create a higher level of difficulty while playing a Pokémon game. Hello fellas, Alpha's here! Your favourite italiano boi will attempt a Nuzlocke Challenge on Pokémon Storm Silver.

[thezolblade]

Ship Meme! Tagged by @the-cryptographer​ ~

1) Ultimate Otps:

Which of them have ‘ultimate’ qualities...? GS Isaac/Alex would be kind of an ‘ultimate power’ ship, if they got a plot with twists and turns and character development and reasons to cooperate. I’d expect that more from fic than canon - so many other canons have lots of epic slow burn adventure fics for hero/villain-or-antivillain ships. But so far in GS, for those two, I’ve mostly found (good) crackfic, or non-shippy ‘they fight to the death and Isaac wins and marries Mia’  stuff that doesn’t treat them with even as much nuance as the canon.

Not that I mind mudshipping - my ultimate GS polyship would be something like Isaac/Mia/Felix/Alex(/Veriti/The Ice Queen), with interesting dynamics between every two characters in that set of four (and Mia/Veriti), even with some of the bonds possibly being platonic. Though when I’ve written long plotfic it’s very easily gotten platonic/ambivalent/angsty bc it tends so much towards drama, and conflict may drive plots (hence its abundance in plotbunnies), but I find it hard to headcanon characters getting past hurts and grudges very easily; I want to see them make the effort, but it feels like they’d need a lot of time and personal growth to get there, and I might not even figure how well they do until I’m almost 100K words in. And in some very angsty verses there’s no chance. I want to read other people’s adventure fic too, with fun ideas that manage heel-face turns or antihero plots in a slightly lighter way...

PMMM Madoka/Homura is another ‘ultimate power’ ship, if they can get to a point where Godoka and Homucifer can deal with each other as equals again, both with full knowledge of everything that’s happened and the resolve to truly save themselves, each other, and the rest of the universe. :o

Utena/Anthy is quite an ‘ultimate reality’ ship, when they find their revolution.

2) A ship you’ll always 💜??

The Harvest Moon fan in me is going ‘purple heart? that’s not a very high level of affection??’ ...but taking it as an emoji for ‘love’... without repeating anything above, pokemon Green/Red is always nostalgic (gameverse Ash/Gary, the names get a little confusing as there are localisation differences and I like the old manga and anime too but haven’t watched/read anything recent in those canons).

GS Imilshipping, too, in fic verses where they had a close bond. FE Lucia/Ilyana, I wish they had epilogue content after their support, still mean to write out a plotbunny for them sometime. Soren/Ike, of course, and Tibarn/Reyson.

ToS Lloyd/Colette/Sheena/Zelos, again with strong bonds between all of the pairs in that foursome. They did so much to help each other find hope by striving to save and trust each other, creating a new kind of salvation together.

Skies of Arcadia Fina/Aika/Vyse, Vyse/Ramirez, and Ramirez/Galcian. Never found much fanstuff for it, but it caught the imagination.

3) Current obsessions??

Lots of MadoHomu vibes after getting a oneshot written for them. Confident!Madoka makes both of them happy when they’re not dying; it’s a shame she doesn’t get much screentime as her confident and cheerful self, since so much of her time as a magical girl passes offscreen. Even while she was more unsure during the series, she demonstrated her desire to protect her friends, and Homura commented time and time again on her kindness - she loves her for it, and when she discourages it anyway, it’s because she’s come to believe that it’ll be the death of her. If they were truly safe, they could support each other so well - it could be a world away from the desperation that marked the end of Rebellion, when neither of them are at all okay. :s

Also getting quite into darkfic plotbunnies, and I know ‘darkship’ is a term in some cases for character dynamics fulfilling their worst potential, descending into violence and destruction that at least one character Does Not Want, but in the verses of those plotbunnies I guess they still fit the label of antiships better than ships.

4) A ship you never thought you’d like??

Uh, a lot of the stuff on the gs kink meme caught me by surprise, when rarepairs got suggested and the fills or plotbunnies got interesting - Alex/Ivan, Eoleo/Rief, Alex/Amiti (in a BAD IDEA way). And on lj/tumblr, Mia/Sheba was pleasant surprise too. Not that I ever had any preconceptions about disliking ships, they just hadn’t occurred to me.

In FF7, I don’t think I expected to see compelling Cloud/Seph or Zack/Seph at first, all those years ago, but I quickly found that there are a lot of good AUs and darkfic. Especially when they’re alongside other good ships like Cloud/Zack, Aerith/Zack, Aerith/Cloud, Aerith/Tifa, Tifa/Cloud etc.

5) A ship you used to like but don’t anymore:

Uh idk exactly. I used to read a lot of Buffy fic by ship to find characters whose dynamics were interesting in the show, but iirc I ended up skimming any content that was really ‘shippy’ to get to the plot and jokes and emotional bonding over real stuff, not random physical attraction, and nowadays I don’t think I’d bother skimming so much stuff just bc I hoped it’d be interesting and wanted to keep giving it a chance.

6) A ship that should be canon??

Well some that are very strongly implied but not explicitly stated feel like ‘yep that’s canon’ but could maybe use some more in-universe and author confirmation when not everyone seems to agree - Ike/Soren, Utena/Anthy in some versions of canon, etc.

7) A canon ship you hate???

I like to hate the way darkships go sometimes, but that’s what makes them an interesting story, going ‘noo’ about characters’ bad decisions, though that usually only works if they had better potential that they’re falling short of, not necessarily in a romantic sense... Can’t think of many cases where that happens in canon. Uh I think most explicitly canon relationships are either one option among many routes (and I get tired of support grinding), or I’m a bit indifferent, or if I dislike how it’s done I’d still start playing devil’s advocate and wondering how it could have been done differently if I spend any time considering it.

Oh in FE Awakening I kinda hated how Virion’s flirting in the main plot cutscenes was creepy and painted him as a bad joke, but his supports are much better and some of them are great - how do you explain liking his ships when he has such a bad start (and such bad English voice acting)? I also hated the way the player character’s support options didn’t all show up until endgame, so I missed them the first time and had to replay and wait until then to support grind, and then it all got repetitive grinding the same dlc maps so many times over just for such short supports, and the endgame marriage candidates that were most interesting (bc how the hell could the game make that work, with a head of state or a former enemy??) ended up with really rushed and unconvincing relationship development, and the child recruitment maps were hellishly difficult at that point in the endgame, and all in all it got a bit un-fun and not worth the effort. :/

8) A ship you shipped for years??

Most of the above. Also stuff like Saiyuki Sanzo/Goku, GS Alex/Felix or /Saturos, Jenna/Sheba, Karis/Sveta, Pokemon Misty/Erika, FE Florina/Lyndis, and, uh, probably stuff that I’m forgetting right now.

9) A ship everyone 😍 but you don’t care for?

...Was there anything? Some of the cliche stuff bugs me, but I’d usually think ‘what about writing the dynamic this way and maybe adding poly?’

10) Favorite rare pair???

Mm what's rare? Any gs Alex!ships at this point...

Edit: I forgot to tag anyone, so. If meme time sounds like fun, @sazandorable, @meganekkomeguca, @droory, or anyone who feels like it?

[mantis-lizbian]

long rant about card games below the cut

so, one of my biggest pasttimes growing up was CCGs. i honestly can’t remember whether i got into the Pokemon card game or video games first, either way i was in kindergarten at the oldest. then when Yu-Gi-Oh! came out, i was into that for about a year (just the card game tho, never watched the show) before going back to Pokemon (the problem primarily being that back in 2002, there was basically no strategy once you understood the basic principles; half the cards that existed were literally useless because monsters with at least 1000 ATK were common enough that any playground deck would always have better options than Firegrass or Kurama, and half of any deck that had a ghost of chance in even local competitions were the same cards as were in every other deck at the competition, even though there were no land/energy resource cards; and don't even get me started on fusions and rituals...). and then there was a brief stint (well, i say brief, but it lasted longer than Yu-Gi-Oh! did for me) when i collected Pirates of the Spanish Main. i could at least get my family to play, so this actually grew to be a pretty sizeable collection for me (at least, proportional to the game's full sets, compared to others i played). even though the game as written is easy to cheese just by having more ships of any quality than your opponent, we came up with a variety of alternate playstyles that allowed for more interesting matches. i'd also stumbled across some cards from the Digimon and DBZ card games, but i honestly have no recollection how, and i was the only person i knew who had any, so they just kinda sat in my room for me to look at...

then i found MtG, but rarely had anyone to play with and couldn't afford to get more than a couple boosters a year, so the bulk of my collection was pre-Modern commons. still, even among those, MtG offered strategic depth to rival any other card game i'd played up to that point. i built and rebuilt all sorts of decks, experimenting with different styles and strategies. with the help of a program called Lackey, i even started essentially theorycrafting decks (including what remains to this day to be my favourite: the Suicide Squad deck, a Kamigawa block deck built around getting as many Zubera on the field as possible and playing Devouring Greed). but none were even remotely competitive against much simpler strategies...

and then there was Hearthstone, and for a full year, i was playing it daily. but then it introduced its Standard format, and once again my vigorous but casual enjoyment of the game was left in the dust. which... i get why they needed to introduce it. but i still miss the days when it seemed like it would be potentially possible for me to get a complete collection... honestly, it was removing the ability to purchase older adventures (though i had already bought them all at the time) and sets that killed it for me more than the format changes. shortly after, i also found Eternal, which i enjoyed but... still felt was a bit limiting... the other thing is that i've never really been satisfied with the rarity system since it's borderline meaningless to deckbuilding. a rare card is - in general theory, and usually in practice - borderline broken compared to a common one. this is, ostensibly, why it's rare. but given that it's entirely possible to buy rare cards directly - or even just buy enough packs that you're statistically likely to get the rare card you're looking for - there's nothing mechanical stopping a player from just filling their deck with all the rarest and best cards, completely locking out players who simply can't afford to spend as much from any sort of competitive play. it seems to me that the rarity system implies that a deck is expected to have rare cards in proportions roughly corresponding to the frequency they show up in packs. presumably, this is the appeal of sealed and draft formats. but for someone like me who most enjoys coming up with oddball strategies, draft formats don't allow for that sort of freedom.

then i got hit by a wave of nostalgia. lacking any of my old collections, not to mention people to play them with, i dug out the old Pokemon TCG game for GameBoy Colour. then curious, because i hadn't really gotten into it the first time around, i looked around for some Yu-Gi-Oh! video games to see if there actually was more depth to it than i remembered (since i was only an elementary schooler at the time, so i could easily have missed something). while it seems i was, indeed, correct in my assessment the first time around, i came across a game called Yu-Gi-Oh! Dark Duel Stories (to any pedants, this is the US/EU title of Tri-Holy God Advent, not the original DDS). now, while the game has a lot of problems like an atrocious UI and unclear rules/actions (it took me four whole duels of wondering what effect Hane-Hane had that was allowing it to kill all my best monsters before i learned of the type system), one thing that i do really like is its progression system.

so in most digital card games (including digitized version of card games like Duels of the Planeswalkers), the only real way there is to increase difficulty is for opponents to have decks with better cards. but if you have randomized card packs, and allow players to freely build their decks, this could lead to players getting a lucky pack or two and allowing them to steamroll through several opponents with ease. this is especially true of later Yu-Gi-Oh! games, especially if you import your real world collection like i did (as best as i could remember it being...) and are therefore able to make real world competitive decks to mercilessly crush the first five opponents without even having to vary your strategy in the slightest (probably the next five as well, but i haven't tried it yet). in DDS, however, each card has a value, and you have a duelist rank that determines the highest value card you can include in your deck, as well as what the total point value of your deck can be. while it's low, if you use a particularly powerful card, you might have to accompany it with a number of weaker ones in order to stay under the deck's value cap. or you might not even be able to include it at all yet. ...which i can acknowledge has some potential problems since you don't want a player to end up with too many cards that they can't use, and you definitely don't want those cards to be too far beyond their current level. a few that are a few levels away can add some excitement to leveling up since you're closer and closer to being able to use it, but in principle i think this is pretty ingenious.

since your duelist level goes up every single match, your freedom in building decks also increases. so in combination with getting new cards, after every single match, win or lose, you're able to retool your deck in ways you couldn't before the match. this makes it so that A) you are always progressing (which i consider important in any game where a streak of bad luck can cause you to lose without it really being your fault), B) until you reach max level (or near enough), you will always have reason to adjust your playstyle, and C) even "weak" cards are potentially useful since they can fill out your deck to allow you to use a much more powerful card. like, honestly, when was the last time anyone chose to put Wisp in their Hearthstone deck? or even Magma Rager? seriously, these cards are the Firegrass and Kurama of Hearthstone. the combination of these three encourages exploration, experimentation, and an evolving playstyle. and you could even include options in PvP play for setting the deck value.