#which would be slightly disappointing for me but…
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It Was Smiling Down - A No Love Lost Bonus Chapter
Series Masterlist
Read on A03!
Author's Note: Ryan Butcher I'd die for you. If Eric Kripke EVER does you dirty he will have to answer to me personally. Title from San Francisco by the Mowgli's.
Word Count: 2.3k
Summary/Warnings: A Ryan pov Chapter! Takes place between Chapter 26 and Chapter 27. Usual warnings.
Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, tooth-rotting fluff, slightly angst, pre-established relationship
Ryan Butcher doesn’t really trust people. As a whole, they haven’t proven themselves to be that trustworthy. They mostly lie to him, or hurt him, or yell at him things that haunt him when he can’t sleep. Things about how he hurts people, when he doesn’t mean to.
He never means to hurt anyone. It makes him feel heavy and sad and sick, and then the sizzle of flesh or crunch of bones has to be added to his nightmares, along with all the other faces that he did something bad to. Mom said hurting people was bad, and that we should treat others with kindness.
Dad said it didn’t matter. Dad said that people were like toys for them—the stronger, the better, the gods—to play with. That if Ryan broke one or two spines, or smashed four or five people into buildings, or punched a dozen people’s faces into their bodies, it didn’t really matter. The toy box was infinite, so they’d find a replacement. Dad said that humans couldn’t stop reproducing like cockroaches, so killing a few, or a lot, was if anything a favor to the universe.
Ryan had told Her that once. Not what his Dad had said—the mention of Dad always made Her face look sad, and Ben’s face look angry—but that cockroaches reproduced a lot. She’d been visiting him and Ben during training—all of them sitting on the floor, Ryan cross legged and Her leaning against Ben’s body—and Ryan had said it for a reason he couldn’t now remember.
She’d paused, frowning at her sandwich, then looked up at Ryan with a soft, curious gaze. “Do they? I mean, all bugs reproduce quickly for survival purposes, but I don’t think cockroaches are that remarkable at it.”
“I, I don’t know.” Ryan had mumbled, his eyes dropping to the mat. He didn’t want Her to be disappointed in him, even if she’d never been before. “I just heard it somewhere, I guess.”
“Huh.” She’d shrugged, reaching over Ben’s body to grab one of his fries that he always told Ryan tasted like fucking Styrofoam, but still brought every time she ate lunch with them. “Maybe I’m wrong-“
“No.” Ryan’s head had shaken nervously, because if Ben had taught him anything it was that She was almost never wrong. “I, I must have gotten it mixed up, I don’t know what animal reproduces the most-“
“Seahorses.”
Ryan had looked back up to Her, to see her grinning at him. All teeth and a warm affection that made the twisting feeling in Ryan’s gut fade. “Seahorses?”
She’d nodded, humming an affirmation. “Up to 2,000 babies at a time.” Then She’d twisted around to look at Ben, her face growing just a little brighter than it had been before as Ryan saw their eyes meet. “And the men give birth to them, Benjamin.”
Ben had scowled. “How the fuck is that my problem-“
She’d pouted at him, and Ryan had seen them do this a million times before. She poked him, and he poked back, and neither of them ever really meant it, and it would go and go until one of them—probably Ben, Ryan had seen Her talk circles around their whole weird little family all at once with breaking or faltering—gave in and shut the other up.
“Would you give birth to my seahorse babies, my love?”
“I’m not giving birth to fucking shit-“
“But would you-“
“No.” Ben had grunted, rolling his eyes. “Because men don’t give fucking birth-“
“Seahorse men do. Seahorse men get pregnant, and then give birth. Which is usually how that process goes, but in seahorse societies it’s considered masculine. The men give birth because they love their partners and don’t want them to be in pain-“
Ryan didn’t think that last part was true, but there was usually a point in these arguments where She started to tug at Ben’s shirt with a soft, teasing smile, and said words that didn’t need to be true, because they were almost always her winning blow. This hadn’t been any different, because She’d cut herself off with a small yelp as Ben pulled her further into his lap, leaning down to kiss her.
Ryan had found somewhere else to look for a few minutes. He’d gotten good at that, at reading when he had to pretend that his two trusted adults weren’t maybe seconds from having sex on the floor. They never did, and it didn’t really bother Ryan—they both smiled twice as much when they were done, and Ryan had seen a lot worse than the way they always seemed to be eating each other’s faces—but he still had to wait it out.
When it was preceded by one of their fake arguments, it usually lasted a little longer. The kissing would stop, and they’d just look at each for a minute or two until She turned back to Ryan and Ben’s arms locked around her stomach.
That was Ryan’s favorite part of this. How She’d keep talking to him with a wide, happy expression that Butcher had called Her ditzy fuckin Soldier Boy smile, and Ben would just look at Her.
Ryan really liked how Ben looked at Her. It was an expression of something soft and powerful that he’d only ever seen on Ben’s face, only ever directed at her. It was relaxed and adoring, but still solemn and firm in the only way Ben seemed to know how to be. Like She might be the only thing that Ben knew was real, and he wasn’t bothered by that at all.
It wasn’t like Dad had looked at Stormfront. That had been meaner. Like they were always in a fight—not one of Her and Ben’s play fights, which were more like a cat and a dog swatting at each other before the dog flopped over, and the cat climbed on top of it, but instead a violent, bloody war—and were trying to see who’d snap first. Dad had looked at Stormfront like he was waiting for her to stab him, but wasn’t sure she would.
Ben looked at Her like he’d handed her the knife to carve into his body, and She’d made a face and thrown it away.
Ryan hadn’t really ever seen Butcher look at Mom, but he hoped it had been a little like that. It was what Mom had deserved, even if Butcher could be a cock fuck bitch with his head tonguing his own ass, in Ben’s words.
But Butcher was getting better. He’d apologized for saying Ryan had hurt Mom—he hadn’t meant to, he never meant to, and he still had nightmares where Mom’s guts were spilling out of her body, and she looked right through Ryan like he was a ghost—and mostly didn’t talk to Ryan about Dad anymore.
Nobody really liked to talk to Ryan about Dad. Ryan knew She would, if he asked, but he didn’t want to ask. He’d never forget what Butcher had shown him—about Mom and Dad and Her—or how, for the first two months Ryan had lived with everyone, She’d been gone because of Dad. Because of Ryan.
Not your fucking fault, kid. She’d kill me if I let you blame yourself for your pussy fuck dad’s actions.
That was why Ryan talked to Ben about it. He didn’t coddle or lie or sweeten the truth, he just grunted words that—when Ben said them—always seemed to be the inherent truth. Dad wasn’t Ryan’s fault, and Ryan was getting stronger, and it was okay that Ryan got afraid because it he wasn’t a pathetic fucking dickless pussy about it.
Ryan asked Ben if it was okay to hurt people, and Ben told him if they fucking deserve it, but only if they deserve it, and Ryan decided that sounded right. And She said most people didn’t deserve to be hurt, and very few things were truly unforgivable, so Ryan could try to figure out what things were really wrong, and then hurt the people that really deserved it.
Dad deserved it. When Ryan wasn’t afraid of Dad, he was angry at him.
“Do you get angry?” He’d mumbled over a breakfast in Her and Ben’s apartment, and She’d hummed, tilting her head.
“I do. We all do. Anger is our brains telling us that something is unfair, and a lot of this isn’t really fair. So yeah, I get angry.”
Ryan had nodded slowly, turning to Ben as he approached the table from the kitchen. “Ben, do you-“
“Course I fucking get angry.” Ben had dumped three large pancakes onto Ryan’s plate, then two larger ones onto Her’s, then a smaller one onto his own, and ignored Her glare as he dropped into his seat. “This whole goddamn thing-“
She’d cleared her throat, eyes narrowed at Ben. “Benjamin.”
“What-“
She’d given a pointed look to his plate, then back to him. “You need to eat as well.”
“I’ll be fine, Sunshine, you and the kid need more than I do-“
She’d cut one of Her pancakes in half, moving the bigger piece to Ben’s plate, and he’d scowled. They’d both been silent, glaring at each other for almost a minute, and then Ben had grunted. She’d leaned back into her chair with a smug grin, and everything had moved on.
Neither of them had been mad, though. Ryan had thought that glaring and frowning was only about hatred, but when She and Ben glowered at each other it seemed to be more of a standoff. An act or show or contest of affection that neither of them ever seemed to be upset about losing.
They were never really mad at each other at all. Ryan had seen them yell at and taunt and mock each other, but there always seemed to be something under it that sounded like I love you. I’m allowed to call you a dumb dumb or pain in the ass, because I love you and we both know I don’t mean it, because I’m “fighting” with you, but I’m also holding onto you like you’re a buoy in the storm.
Ryan wanted to love someone like that. He wanted someone to love him like that. Because Ben never seemed to really think she was mad at him, even when she called him a cunt or idiot or asshole. Ryan himself didn’t think she was ever really mad at Ben, because he’d watch Her hit Ben’s arm with a fake pout or glare, but she’d never flinch or cower away from him. She was always touching Ben, and she was never afraid of him. Ben had hurt people, Ben was just as dangerous as Ryan was, but She only touched and looked at him like he’d fallen from heaven for her to have. She always kept her hand in Ben’s, or her body in his arms, or their legs pressed together. And she always looked for him. And She always seemed to be happier when she was talking to and looking at Ben, with just his presence never failing to make her smile.
And Ben loved Her. It seemed like love in movies Ryan had watched with Mom, or that he’d read about in books he’d found tucked in corners of Butcher’s apartment. But real. Ryan didn’t think Ben was capable of being really, truly mad at Her, and she seemed to know it. Ben would roll his eyes at Her, and grumble that she was brat, or glare at her in a way that would be dangerous if it wasn’t at Her. Whenever Ben glared at Her it was so painfully fake Ryan wondered if Butcher had been lying when he’d told Ryan not to mention love around those two twats, they ain’t aware that they’re fuckin obsessed with each other yet after She’d returned, because Ben didn’t seem capable looking at Her with anything but love painted over his features.
They certainly knew now. Everyone knew, because every third sentence out of Ben’s mouth was another declaration of love for Her. Every single thing Ben did seemed to be something for Her. Ryan would eat dinner with them, and he’d see Ben pass Her a fistful of stolen chocolate under the table. He’d watch a movie with them, and She’d would be holding Ben’s arms against Her, and Ben would kiss her in the dark and snort at her jokes and get Her and Ryan snacks whenever either of them so much as mentioned the word hungry. He’d train with Ben, and ask a question about punching, and Ben would grumble about how She said you could punch people and be a pacifist, like Muhammad Ali, and she was always fucking right about that shit. And She was a genius. And a better person than every other fucking pussy on the planet, so they should both fucking listen to her.
Ben carried Her in his arms wherever she let him, and She never stopped smiling at him, and Ryan had decided that if he ever loved someone—far in the future, when Dad was just a faint, reoccurring nightmare—he’d love them like Ben loved Her.
Ryan would never be like Homelander, because he’d never lock up or hurt people he loved. Ryan would be like Ben. And that felt easier, because Ben never demanded that Ryan follow in his steps. He was just there, and trustworthy, and Ryan wanted to be strong like him. He wanted to protect people and do things for them. He wanted to never speak or think of his Dad again, because really their family was Ben and Her, a stained hole that didn’t really matter and Ben wouldn’t let hurt them, and Ryan. It was Butcher forgiving Ryan, because he was trying, and She said the most important thing anyone could do was try to be better.
He was really trying to be better. Ryan didn’t really trust people, but he trusted Her and Ben when they said that this wasn’t his fault. He believed them when they told him what he knew, that Ryan really didn’t mean to hurt people.
And Ryan hoped that, after Homelander was dead, he’d get to have a life where they kept smiling at each other—and him—and Ryan never was made to hurt someone again.
End Note: Catch Ben in his Dad era, coming to a No Love Lost chapter near you (in all seriousness I hope you guys liked the extra pov! An outside perspective on how down bad they both are was very fun to write)
If you like this story, reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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Taglist
@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles @brtodd
#soldier boy x reader#the boys#soldier boy#Enemies to Friends to Lovers#slow burn#angst#x reader#reader insert#romance#canon typical violence#canon divergent au#the boys amazon#fluff#soldier boy x you#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys fanfic#soldier boy smut#soldier boy x female reader#jensen ackles#jensen ackles characters#idiots in love#godmadeaterribleerror#No Love Lost (the Boys)#tooth rotting fluff#light angst#ryan butcher#bonus chapter
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Day 40
Another Milestone! I didn’t really do anything super special for this one though Last one that’s like that though! I swear!
One thing I’ve never touched with Junko is her various personas that she uses to avoid her boredom, the various designs that come with them. And to get the potential disappointment out of the way this is the only pic in the whole project that I use those with. I just never had any other ideas with them and wasn’t fully sure I could even pull them off properly.
That said I knew I should draw them at least once. So I drew all of them. Or at least the notable ones. I admittedly would not be opposed to doing something else with this concept though, just a bunch of Junko’s running around and one Mikan who is not mentally equipped to handle that amount of girlfriend. Typing that out right now has me feeling inspired, which is unfortunate because I’m writing this on Day 26 (which will be Day 27 in a few minutes), and we all know i’m not gonna let myself draw that until this pic gets posted.
If I had to say which ones were my favorite to draw in this picture, The Queen Junko was really fun to draw for the posing and expression, but my actual favorite would be Sad Mushroom Junko (are there actual names for these), her hair was really, really fun to draw and this is like the only opportunity I have to draw Sad Junko.
Also this is, such a fucking weird fun fact to put in here but it’s a Milestone so I might as well pad out the text a bit. Mikan’s reaction (which was REALLY fun to draw by the way) being described as “.exe crashing” is a jerma reference.
Timestamped Clip here
I do not know why, but the way he says “.exe crash” just makes me laugh, so I just like to throw the phrase in whenever I get an opportunity.
And oh yeah, background Irumatsu. I would have thought of a way to force Maki in there as well because I ship that polycule, but I kept things simple. Junko threatened Miu, Miu makes cloning gun, boom, shenanigans ensue, most of which involves Mikan getting kissed.
God dammit i really wanna draw more of this now, fuck. I’m getting comically angry that I have to wait to do that now. This is the cloning AU now, fuck it, there's slightly more balance in the amount of non-vampire au art in this fuckin project.
As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~
#junkan#danganronpa#junko enoshima#mikan tsumiki#enomiki#junko x mikan#junkomikan#enoshima junko#tsumiki mikan#shipping#irumatsu#kaede akamatsu#miu iruma
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Interesting. So that was how Beau knew where Cesare kept his dagger. However, it still did not convince Quin enough that nothing happened. He knew that if Cesare walked into a room thinking it was Quin, it would be a matter of seconds before he had his hands on him. He also, unfortunately, knew Beau as well. He wouldn’t refuse to bed anyone. It was how he got his way, made a living, and gathered secrets. “Have I been too subtle?” Quin questioned, picking an invisible bit of lint off his shirt. Then, he looked up at Cesare and raised a brow at him. “Fine, maybe I don’t wish to relive that part of the night, but the part before when you thought I was your damsel in distress.”
It was difficult not to smile at Cesare’s words. Quin was flattered that his betrothed knew him down to his bones. “He’ll only kill me if he finds out. I don’t think you’ll be eager to tell him of my visit. You know how he’d be if he found out we were alone like this.” Despite his growing frustration over the lack of details Cesare was sharing, Quin refused to let it show on his face. He kept Beau’s trademark smirk and lazy, drawl tone. Perhaps he should have felt guilty over tricking Cesare like this, and while it was about collecting the truth, it was also a test to see if it could be done. If his trickery fooled Cesare, then they could trick others as well. It meant that Quintus could be in two places at once.
“I don’t believe there’s nothing you can do. We’re in your country, and you outrank Quintus. He would have to listen if you put your foot down, yet you refuse to do that. Aren’t you worried about the time he and I will spend together? What if I decide to tell him myself? Everything that happened, everything we discussed.” Cesare walked closer to the bed, and Quin leaned back on his elbows, eyeing the prince like Beau did when they were in the carriage. “That doesn’t seem like it would end well for you.”
“Harsh?” Quin repeated, a bubble of laughter coming out of his mouth; Cesare was close enough to see the details of his face, the color of his eyes, which were slightly off from Beau’s, yet there was nothing in his words or expression to prove that he knew any better. Quin didn’t know if he was disappointed or happy about that revelation. “Yeah, I would say he’s being harsh. It’s his only setting.” And there it was, an opening. Quin swallowed, hoping he was wrong. “Really?” He whispered, looking up at Cesare from under his lashes. He spread his legs open, much like he had the night he and Cesare spent together before everything went to shit. “You sure there’s nothing I can do? I don’t think that’s true at all. In my experience, there is always a way one can be persuaded. Name it.”
The tray clanked against his desk as he set it down and he tried to put his thoughts together quickly. He hadn't been expecting to entertain Beau again. Hell, he was pretty damn sure that with Quintus in charge of his well being, he'd barely see him if it could be helped. But still he couldn't be rude. He had a feeling if he even attempted to run him out of here, he'd run back and tell Quin something truly awful. He sighed and made to grab the jug of wine he'd brought up for the both of them and uncorked it, pouring himself a full glass.
"Beau," He started out, still hunched over his desk. Cesare took the glass and a deep drink followed. "I don't know what you're looking to get out of me." He answered quite plainly, the prince turned around and looked at him again. Those dark eyes looking too intently at him. "And if you'd like to pick up where we left off, you'd need to retrieve my blade you left in the pompous, lard head of a man that's trying to fuck you and Quintus and now apparently me over until death." He sighed and took another deep drink of wine. The warmth pooling in his belly and it felt nice. The tension he'd been carrying was starting to ease but not loosen entirely. No he'd wait for Quintus to come back before any of that happened.
The prince popped a few bits of dark chocolate into his mouth followed by some cheese. Quin had been right when he said to get food. Perhaps that was a good sign, if he had appetite then maybe ... Cesare realized he was drifting but found himself unable to focus completely. "He's going to kill you when he finds you're out when you're not supposed to be you know. And I'm inclined to look the other way." That was half a joke, though he'd never allow actual harm to come to this man. He had saved them after all. "There's nothing I can do if this is what Quintus wants. I'm sure he's already spoken to Max but I will try and see what I can do." The prince polished off his wine and found a bit of bread to tide him over some more. A soft moan left his lips tasting the freshness of it. Gods he really should have eaten before getting up here. He had no idea why he hadn't. "But I did promise you'd be free and I doubt Quin truly wants to hold someone against their will. He may just be looking to give you a ... what do they call it ... ah." He smiled, brushing the crumbs from his fingers and he finally walked closer to him "A taste of your own medicine."
It was only then that he'd realized it wasn't Beau he was speaking to. The way the light reflected off Quin's eyes and that subtle tilt of his mouth, he knew him quite well. But it was clear there was some kind of game to be played here. He'd bite for the time being. Besides, it would serve him right to pull a stunt on him like this. "Maybe he's being too harsh. It's truly not for me to decide." He shrugged, smiling softly. "I'm not sure you could change my mind even if there were something to be done."
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so I guess I'm gonna have to start the class on Monday a little later so that I can get that Nokia Arena show ticket lol
#this better be worth it#don't get me wrong the ice hall show was nice#but it wasn't _as_ special as i thought it would have been#of course there were lots of special effect and ROBIN so yeah in that sense it was special#but the setlist wasn’t surprising at all and that's what i was slightly disappointed in 😅#hopefully there'll be more surprises in the setlist for this show but i'm not holding my breath#as apparently it'll be the last show on their 'bug european tour'#and they usually don't make major changes to the setlist mid-tour#the european tour which i'm going to btw. i don't know where they'll be playing but i'm going 😤#also i hate how literally everyone and their mother knew about the nokia arena thing already so no one is surprised 😅#in any case i missed the pmmp tickets because i was an idiot / at work#but this one i need to get alright the monday morning class will have to wait 😤#sorry but the teacher has things to do and concert tickets to secure lol#who's going to the golden circle / VIP with me 👀#*BIG european tour lol i'm on mobile and can't edit the tags anymore#bug tour...😂
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Okay while I would definitely like to watch the Hornblower TV series/movies I did forget that for the only episode I watched (The Duchess and the Devil) I spent the entire time being distracted by the phonetics of Ioan Gruffudd's speech
#that episode was especially fun because it was like count the times ioan gruffudd rolls his r's#versus the times that the guy playing the spanish officer (who was english) forgets to roll his r's#extremely fun game 11/10 would highly recommend if you have normal hobbies like Opening Praat Sometimes#anyways radical linguistic praxis: taking the most english lad ever to english and making him slightly welsh by phonetics#also i mostly wanted to watch that episode to see if they set it in ferrol#which while i was hugely disappointed on that front once again#i do have to give it to them for setting it in Unnamed Location rather than setting it in a real place and then utterly disregarding that#still mad at forester for that#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#<- diversity win! this post is still complaining about mr. cs forester even though it's about the tv show!#(nb: this post is from like a year ago i've now seen four episodes. still distracted by the need to hear him speak welsh instead though)#(this episode does reign supreme for fun phonetics games though. if they're going to make english guys play non-english guys#the least they can let me do is have a little fun with it. and thank ioan gruffudd for his service)
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SupernaturaI fans really just.. made up a Dean. It’s insane like they made up a Dean, and they won’t admit that’s what they’ve done. And they post about this Dean constantly, they ANALYSE this Dean, and then they get legitimately upset with you if you try to point out that the Dean in the actual show isn’t even categorically like the Dean they post about. Because it’s reached a point where not only will they not admit they made up a Dean, they will actually sincerely swear to god that made up Dean IS canon Dean. Because they can pull out little bits of scenes out of context and deleted lines they feel aligns with the Dean in their head while ignoring everything else and that makes it In The Show, I guess. Some people have the good decency to label their made up Dean as the “secret good” Dean but a significant portion of the fandom is out there not doing that and actually asserting that their Jensen AckIes barbie doll is Dean. And as irritating as that is it’s also FASCINATING particularly in how mindlessly widespread it is. It’s like the medieval dancing plague to me
#My posts#Dean critical#I have my slightly to the left versions of characters too but like. jesus.#And I’ve been in f*ndoms with popular fanon before but this is truly unlike anything#It’s bsfsjsgsjshs it’s so BACKWARDS I can’t take it#But at the same time I would love to study how the hell people got to it#I guess 15 years of disappointing plot leads and bad writing gives you ample time to gradually divorce yourself from reality#until you don’t know who’s on first and what’s on second anymore#I mean even I used to post about “secret good” Dean and pretend canon Dean didn’t bother the shit out of me#Which again it’s like the medieval dancing plague it’s bizarrely contagious. Because ultimately who comes away from watching s/p/n#and want to post about that guy in the show. Not even DeangirIs (gn) apparently lmfao
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just some Sunwing pics bc I love him and he's doing amazing and he got really hurt today (curse the Rebels near the Slaughterspine site by the Quen ferry) featuring:
his precious lil feets
giving the pup a bath to get the grit out of the gears
and some calm meditation at the Zenith Base (to prove to myself that I could still get in despite the changes to the outside energy wall)
a short video to show the damage those heartless Rebels caused while shooting us out of the sky (my poor boy)
youtube
#lou plays#Horizon Forbidden West#also did the Demeter quest today and checked out how close they would let me to things on the flying mount#the answer is mostly 520-525 feet from almost all sides to the Greenhouse quest marker#except on the side you actually enter from which lets you a little closer. but not by much#and you can cross the ocean from the Greenhouse side at about the height of the island the raider ends up#but then in the direction of the Quen ferry it moves slightly closer to SF so you can discover the Memorial island#all in all I did a lot today but I also found a map of the Embassy massacre in Alva's room in the Greenhouse#which just.. why Guerrilla. at least come up with one additional texture to put in the places the Quen are. this is just disappointing#anyway. Billy is best mount. love the Sunwings as long as they're overridden. the others still scare me a little in the wild lol#mine.#Youtube
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i remember again n feel better hehe 🥹🤍
#🌙.rambles#thought i'd just ramble abt this to my notes but maybe a fellow wanderer wld come across this#i mean. aside from a few irls that could very much stumble across this.. i get shy n embarrassed at the though of it but OH WELL HDKGJSKDS#majority here r basically friends acquaintances n strangers that essentially don't know. like my real name or address or wtvr.#basically we don't know each other irl directly so it's somehow for some reason much easier for me to be open about how i feel in tumblr ta#s bcs 1) i write VERY long. very unlikely that someone wld read it unless they seeked it out for some reason that only they'd know#my brain's empty rn it's a bit of a mess but i feel better than just pure emptiness bcs i remember how#genuinely when it comes to other ppl.. despite how they may feel about their own selves. disappointed hatred wtvr#that. regardless of that i know that my own truth for them would be that i'll love them the same#let's say if i don't reach a certain standard for my own grades. say i usually get grades that r 90-100 often around the higher end too#but for one course i get vey slightly below the 90 mark. i'd feel like such a failure i'd feel like such a disappointment#so much so that i genuinely can't accept how others aren't disappointment in me despite how much of a failure i feel i am#turn the tables however; how do i react for others? even if. theoretically let's say they outright fail#i wouldn't think of them as anything less. it doesn't change anything bcs i genuinely love and care for the other wholly from the heart#they're my equal. they're my friend. yeah.. i rmb times in the past where i wld nearly break down from being around the passing score for#only 1 exam. i'd have friends that failed though. & i also forgot of how for other exams i basically got perfect or wtvr#it's so easy to just blind ourselves n focus on failure n forget. things that r most important#i deal with failure.. very badly honestly bcs i achieved very well as a kid. aside from stuff in filipino which uh. yeah trauma but um#maths n sciences n english or wtvr n nearly everything else i'd get easy perfects but i'd forget them over one disappointment#i struggled w that lately w my released grades n it still hurts the regret really hurts so much n i hate myself so much for it but#i'm.. trying to be kind n i've managed to feel like myself for a while today. progress. thats enough to be proud of#bcs yk knowing how others feel of their own selves n the way i treat them despite it. i cld at least try again to do the same for myself#say 10 years from now i'd be more thankful n happy if i forgave myself for it than destroyed myself in pursuit of doing better#more than. success in terms of grades i'd much rather grow n develop as a person#that said recently i've had so much anxiety w reaching out to ppl n i reply slowly but i'm trying to do better#bcs yesterday i rmb feeling so low that i really wanted to reach out to someone.. that's a whole nother lvl of pain for me bcs that means#my hopelessness reached a level enough that i knew i really needed comfort n support or i'll break#indirectly. helping you made me realize n remember myself. n i felt well enough to reach out once more.. i'm too shy to say directly but#thank you very much for that. it means more to me than you'll ever know
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.
#oh well. high school me would be absolutely inconsolable while current me is only slightly disappointed#which as far as im concerned is a win!
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Go Slow
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: SMUT! p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), riding, (brief) dry humping
Summary: it's your first time and Logan tries to go slow, he really does, but some things just can't be helped
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: i'm not too practiced in smut so sorry if it's shit 😭
Logan knew you were on the shy side of things. During the start of your relationship he’d had to coax words from you, feelings and opinions you held until you felt comfortable enough to share them without being asked. You’d be nervous and fidgety when asking to see him, acting like he was an attractive stranger when he was your boyfriend.
In all honesty though Logan didn’t mind. He enjoyed your shy, almost naive personality, and was more than happy to wait for you to be comfortable with him before suggesting going any further.
Sure, it was difficult for him to wait, but not impossible. If his pants tightened slightly when you walked in the room with ridiculously short shorts and practically sat in his lap with them, you didn’t notice. When you were sleeping in bed together and would unconsciously rub yourself against him, causing him to have to leave the bed for a bit lest he did something he'd regret, you remained blissfully unaware. And if he was putting away your laundry and came across a pair of lacy black panties with bows adorning it, you wouldn’t even notice they went missing.
Logan was more than okay to wait.
You, on the other hand, were not.
It started with small changes in you and your actions, though Logan couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was. You were more flustered around him than usual, jumpier and shier than you’d been before. You were quieter too, staring at him with more intensity than before, as if trying to read his mind. Yet it wasn’t as if you were pulling away from him, because you were much more touchy and clingy than usual, always needing to hold him and often being the initiator of any make out session you two might have- which is as far as you’d gone.
It was during one of these sessions, having started when you both grew bored of the movie playing on the screen, that you started straddling Logan, kissing him with more fevor than you usually did. Surprised, though certainly not disappointed, Logan kissed you back, hands resting on your thighs and occasionally running up and down them when his control slipped.
When he felt you rock against him slightly he knew something was up. You were never this forward with him, and was always the one to stop Logan when he got a bit carried away. Yet there you were, gently rocking against him while you kissed, moving against his jeans almost desperately, rubbing against him until there was a rock hard bulge for you to move against and Logan had to gently push you off him.
Immediately you started apologising, looking at your hands nervously fidgeting with your t-shirt, refusing to so much as glance at Logan.
“Hey, hey, you’re alright Bub,” Logan said gently. “I just don’t want to do anything before talking about it first.”
You risked a glance at him, trying to find any lie in his face. “You’re not angry at me?”
Logan would have laughed if he wasn’t worried about upsetting you further. “‘Course not. I fucking loved that, actually, but we can’t do it, or anything like that, without talking about it first. I gotta make sure you’re okay with it.”
You nodded your head with such eagerness Logan’s cock twitched in his pants. “I’m okay with it.”
He smiled at your needy demeanour and had to hold himself back from gladly going along with it. “What exactly do you want, Sweetheart? I gotta know that.”
You bit your lips shyly, glancing up at him from your lashes in such a way Logan was tempted to be fucked with all of this and just take you. He’d been waiting for months, however, so he could certainly wait a few more minutes, and restrained himself as such.
“I want to feel good,” you mumbled quietly. “Want you to make me feel good.”
Oh fuck.
Logan wasn’t sure he could handle this. Desire was coursing through his veins, his cock was throbbing almost painfully against his pants as he watched you, shy and naive but so wanting for him.
“Alright Bub, we can do that,” he eventually said, because fuck he wanted to make you feel good too. He wanted you moaning and whimpering his name, whining and panting underneath him because of him.
Yet as soon as he had you undressed and under him he could tell it wasn’t what you wanted. You looked petrified, eyes squeezed shut as you waited for Logan to enter you, and that just wouldn’t do.
“I’m not doing this Sweetheart,” he said, moving away.
You opened your eyes, seeming both relieved and disappointed at the same time. “What? Why?”
Logan sighed, wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your neck. Even with both of you naked it was surprisingly not desire filled and simply comforting. “Because you obviously don’t want it.”
You shook your head and turned around to face him, straddling him in a similar position as before. “I do want it. Just… it felt a bit scary like that.”
Logan thought about her words for a moment before inspiration struck him. “Do you want to ride me instead?”
You actually gasped, your eyes widening at the suggestion, yet he could also see the desire radiating off of you- he could smell it too- and feel the slick coming from your cunt at the thought. He smirked, taking that as a yes.
“I’m going to lift you up and slowly place you down on me. You can stop me at any moment, okay?” he asked you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable with this.
You nodded your head, looking apprehensive but also excited, as you glanced down at his hard on, licking your lips slightly. “I don’t know if it will fit.”
Logan nearly groaned then and there. “It will.”
Hesitant but sure, you let Logan’s hands wrap around your waist and lift you up, positioning his cock at your entrance. He gave you a few seconds to back out, and when you didn’t, staring at him confidently, Logan sunk you down on his cock.
Fuck even just his tip inside you felt like heaven, your cunt squeezing against him. You let out a gasp and he hesitated, waiting, and you slowly nodded your head, giving him the go ahead to continue. He did so gently, making you take him inch by inch, stopping every so often for you to get used to the feeling of him until you’d finally taken all of him inside you.
The feeling of your walls squeezing his cock was heavenly. He could barely think, and all he wanted to do was fuck you hard and fast, chase the release he so desperately wanted. Yet he waited for it to feel comfortable for you, waiting for the pain to ease before he did anything.
“Okay… what now?” you asked in a timid voice.
Logan had to muffle the sound threatening to escape him at the sight of you blinking bashfully at him while he was inside you. It was too good to be true.
“Now you move,” Logan said roughly, because he didn’t trust himself to move and not fuck you viciously like he wanted to.
You thought for a moment before giving an experimental rock, gasping at the pleasure accompanying the action. You repeated the rock again, then again, creating a slow but sure movement that was slowly killing Logan.
Every sway of your hips, the way you rode his cock eagerly if not skillfully, was pushing him closer and closer to the edge.
“That’s it baby,” he rasped. “Just like that, you’re doing so good for me baby.”
You rolled your hips, whining at the praise and closing your eyes but only increasing your motions, one hand moving up to cup your breast. You grounded onto him, gasping when he hit that perfect spot, whispering Logan’s name like a prayer
He swore at the sight, and couldn’t help the jerk his hips made, a small gasp escaping you. It felt so good, the spike of pleasure overwhelming and your readily response too much, and he did it again.
You moaned this time, a dirty, high pitched sound that was ringing in Logan’s ears, urging him on as he took your hips in his hand and lifted you up, only to slam you down on his cock again. Your moan was delicious, and you placed both your hands on his chest, moving forward to make him go deeper.
Logan did groan this time, and used your hips to continue moving you on his dick, his large hands squeezing the soft flesh of your hips. You were a whining mess, eyes glazed and body limp above him.
“Feel so good,” Logan grunted, thrusting into you. “So fucking good for me.”
You whimpered, gasping as your eyes fluttered closed again. Logan grinned.
“You like that baby? You like me telling you what a good girl you’re being, riding my cock so prettily.”
Your moans came more frequent, panting every second, and Logan could tell you were close. He increased his pace, wanting to see you fall apart in front of him, and wasn’t disappointed by the result.
“Come on baby, cum for me.”
With a cry you threw your head back, ecstasy painting your face as you came, your walls tightening. The feeling of them squeezing Logan’s dick, your cunt milking it for all its worth was too much and he felt himself fall after you, his load of cum shooting into your already stuffed hole.
“Fuck baby,” he cursed, helping you ride out both your highs, moving your hips over him.
You were still panting as you slowly came down from your high, boneless as you laid against Logan’s chest.
“You did so good for me darling,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head.
You let out a sound, nuzzling his neck, and he happily held you against him, pressing kisses to your face and neck till you were ready to move.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut#x men#x men smut#smut#logan howlett x you#logan x reader smut#logan howlett x reader smit#wolverine x reader smut
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Going INSANE thinking about this post by @curiousmons :
So here we go!!
Your Centaur Boyfriend being embarrassed when he explains he’s never cum before because he can’t reach “down there”. You’re stunned and ask why he hasn’t told you before. You tell him you’d have at least given him a handjob before now so he could get some release! He sheepishly tells you that he almost didn’t tell you at all because he’s worried he won’t last long and he doesn’t want to disappoint you.
After a soft heart to heart session, you explain that even if he doesn’t last long, at least you’ll be doing it together so it’ll be wonderful. The kissing starts off slow and soft with him stooping down and you on your tiptoes. Then him pulling off your shirt, and you eagerly finishing undressing yourself when he hesitates. He eases you onto your back on the soft (but itchy, not that you’d tell him) hay he made into a bed for you. His front legs are tucked under him as he goes back to kissing you, pumping his fingers in and out of you slowly.
Despite never having been with anyone before, he knows that his massive cock would hurt you if you’re not prepped, which is another reason you two had waited for so long. Now you could easily take his fingers, and you were already soaking wet for him. His cock is so hard that he’s already leaking precum and it’s almost painful. He wants to be inside of you so badly.
“Please,” you whisper, breaking the kiss to look up at him.
He bites his lip before nodding slightly. He stands back up and you adjust, pushing yourself into doggy style so it’s easier for him to push into you. You have to help guide him a bit since you have to be so far under him, but as soon as the tip of his cock is pushed inside of you, he starts going crazy.
He jerks his hips towards you, nearly impaling you with his massive cock in one thrust. You yelp, not expecting that sudden and deep of a movement, but you don’t pull away.
“I’m sorry baby. You feel so good. I’m sorry,” he groans as he continues to slam in and out of you, driving you into the floor.
His cock slams deep inside of you, stretching you out in the most delicious way. He bullies your cervix in a way you never thought possible, his hot and slick precum already coating your womb. You whimper, trying to find something to hold onto. When you start to squirm, he uses his front hooves to keep you in place, setting them lightly on you, of course not his full weight, just so he can continue to cram himself into you.
Once he’s close, his thrusting becomes more sporadic. He thrusts roughly and sloppily, almost pulling out in his haste to push back inside of you. You can feel him throbbing and pulsing inside of you, every thick inch of that cock stretching you out even more as he already was.
“You’re so good baby. So tight. So wet,” he whines, picking up the pace even more.
“Keep going,” is all you can manage to get out between the rough assaults on your body.
He complies until he crams himself as deeply as he can inside of you, pumping you full of hot, thick ropes of cum. You can feel it filling you, extending your stomach and spilling out onto your thighs and the floor under you even as he’s still deep inside of you.
His front legs tremble before he buckles them, pulling them off of you so he can support himself on them. You can hear his deep breathing and panting as he recovers, his cock still throbbing inside of you.
“That was amazing baby,” you sigh, almost dreamily, before you try to wiggle out from under him.
However, he’s already rutting into you, grinding his hips against yours with his cock still buried inside of you. “Just one more baby. Please please let me do it just one more time.”
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hii, I’m not sure if you take request still but if so is there a possible way you can do a drew x singer!reader one shot take on how Sabrina “arrests” her fans before performing Juno for being too hot but the reader does it to Drew during her shows please 🫶🏼
arrested for being too hot — DREW STARKEY
authors note THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS!! my request box is still open so feel free to send me any ideas regarding singer!reader or regular fic ideas you’d like me to write. this was so much writing too. thank for all the love on my last fic lovies <3
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summary "arresting" drew, your boyfriend, during your show before performing your song from your new album.
warning(s) none!
You are on tour for your new album in-front of thousands of fans almost every night. You worked hard on this album and it turned out wonderfully. If it weren’t for the amazing fans of yours, you don’t know where you’d be in your career— they are the reason you are doing this.
Half way into the show— going amazing. The crowd tonight isn't disappointing you. Everything you've hoped for on this tour. You've performed eighteen songs and about to go onto your nineteenth. Played musical spin the bottle not long ago which was really fun.
Before Juno, you begin with a small "skit" where you call someone out in the crowd, arresting them for being too hot. This became a thing after your first show of the tour and doing it ever since. Plus, fans absolutely love it. Interacting with your fans has always been something you did and create those bonds.
Drew, your boyfriend, is attending the show with Madelyn Cline, a mutual friend and cast-mate of Drew's. You told him earlier today you wanted to arrest him in the middle of the show to get the audience excited and it would be fun.
Drew was all for it, and he didn't want you to tell him what you were going to say—he prefers surprises.
Your pink, glittering, dazzling clothing was sparkling in the lights. You pressed your free hand to your brow as though you were looking around for a call. With security, you could see Drew and Madelyn making their way to the front.
You begin by adjusting your earpiece while moving around the stage in your long skirt. "You guys know that moment when you are in a room filled with such beautiful looking people that you start to feel overwhelmed?" When fans applaud, you smile.
"Oh, girls, I think I just seen my future husband in the front row! Oh my god, girls, come here, come here," you say anxiously into the microphone, beckoning them over and waving your free hand.
You turn to face Drew as the girls approach you, asking, "Do you see that gorgeous looking man over in the front row with his arms crossed in the tan shirt?" You speak into the microphone aloud, pointing to Drew in the crowd.
Your girls joyfully waved at Drew while placing their hands on your shoulder. As Drew blushes on the big screen, the crowd reflexively turns up the volume in the arena.
"What's your name handsome?" With your head cocked slightly to the right toward your shoulder, you inquire in jest.
"Drew!" You can hear him when he places his hands on the side of his lips. He gives you a childlike smile and a flushed face.
You say, "I'm sorry I couldn't get that?" as though you couldn't hear him. Leaning forward more, you place your free hand behind your ear.
He shakes his head and utters "Drew!" a little louder.
"Oh my Drew, I must say that you must be a magnet because you drew me in" brings a smile to your face. Your tone indicated that you were trying quite hard not to laugh, yet you kept your calm brilliantly.
Fans had their phones out, capturing the entire interaction. Nobody would have expected Drew to be the person arrested at your gigs since the tour began.
"Drew, you are under arrest for being too hot," you say aloud, smiling and pointing at him— fanning yourself, moving your hips side to side as the sound of sirens going off with blue and red lights behind.
You put your left elbow against your girls shoulder, "guys do you ever just see someone so good looking that you just don't know what to do and all your clothes fall off in that moment" your long skirt slips off smoothy.
"Like your brain just like malfunctions and like I just wanna handcuffed to you now like," one of your girls puts the pink fluffy handcuffs into your hand, you kneel down, "do you know what I mean? Will you take these from me?"
Drew is overwhelmed in this very moment— it's very obvious how much you are affecting him. Drew gives you a gimme me gesture with his fingers, ready to catch the hand cuffs.
He takes them in his hands, looks down, and feels the smooth texture of the fuzzy. He tilts his head to the side before slowly glancing up at you with a smirk—keep in mind that he's still on the big screen.
"We're gonna sing this one to you, Drew."
Juno's song intro starts playing. You wave goodbye to Drew and Madelyn as you return to the center of the stage. You could hear the two begin speaking to fans in the distance.
Drew and Madelyn met you in the dressing room following the show. After giving Madelyn a hug and thanking her for attending the event, you moved to approach Drew and put your arms around his neck while grinning.
"That was insane," Madelyn exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. "What about the full call-out and the handcuffs? Iconic! "You're the talk of the night; everyone is crazy about it."
You giggled as your face heated up. "It seemed right." "You should have seen his face!"
She laughs, "I got the whole thing on video, I'll send it to you later."
"I'm going to give you two some alone time, but you did such an amazing job tonight and looked so hot doing it," Madelyn adds, taking your hands in her and wiggling her brows.
"Thank you, babe. I love you always," you say, hugging her before she leaves you and Drew alone.
When you close the door, Drew comes behind you, placing his arms around your waist and kissing you on the cheek, making you laugh with the tenderness of his lips.
"I'm so proud of you baby, you did such an amazing job on stage and looked unbelievable in your outfits made me feel like the luckiest guy in the entire world." He expresses emotionally, which uplifts you.
"Coming from you, it warms my heart baby. Forever grateful to have you in my life," you smile softly, leaning against his chest, feeling that sense of warmth you always feel whenever you are with him.
"And I'm forever grateful for you" he quietly responds, kissing the top of your head.
"So what are we gonna do with those pink fuzzy handcuffs?"
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thinking about stripper reader with old man logan.
he came in every week or so — disheveled outfit and hair. he was older, sure — but not in the way most men his age looked. no — the years didn’t wear on him, but whatever he did that day did. his wrinkles weren’t deep, but the bags under his eyes were. his smile lines weren’t permanent, but the distant look in his eyes was. his bones didn’t crack because they were old, but because they were under too much stress. you couldn’t help it — you wanted to take that pain away.
no one wanted to approach him because he seemed to keep to himself — worried he was a creep or something. he was quiet, too — only speaking when he ordered a drink or another after that. he replied in nods or shakes of the head, and his eyes were always on the stage. despite the fact that he tipped well — no one bit.
you were feeling brave that day when you approached him. you kept it simple — black lace teddy, black lace thong, and black heels. hair bouncy with light makeup, hoping to keep the star of the show your eyes and smile. you knew he could see you out of the corner of his eye, and it threatened your confidence — but he had peaked your interest for too long for you to toss and stumble now.
“hey, handsome,” you spoke, keeping your tone light. “need another?”
he didn’t cock his head towards you, keeping his gaze in front. he swirled the small sip of whisky left in his glass, appearing to contemplate your question. after a moment, he responded, “dancers don’t take drink orders, darlin’.”
“no,” you spoke, laughing slightly. you bent at the hips, hoping to be lower than his eye line. “but they don’t when they give private dances — interested?”
“no, thanks.”
his voice was final — and even though you were disappointed, you didn’t want to push it. you stood then, taking a step back. “okay — i’ll send a waitress over.”
after working the room — it was your turn to take one of the side stages. you had your pick of which — but you decided to keep it as far away from the man as possible. if he didn’t want to be bothered, who were you to threaten a good tip? curiosity would not be killing the cat tonight — especially not when there was more money to be made.
a few men had gathered during your set, throwing a few dollar bills here and there as you swung your hips to the music. you had switched into a falls cowboys cheerleader outfit — white shorts, blue top, and white bra. cliche and overdone, but by the look of your tips — you couldn’t care less.
you also couldn’t care less when you noticed a set of eyes on you — the man’s.
he was unashamed in the way he stared at you. he had gotten another round at some point — but wasn’t drinking any of the contents. he simply gripped it tight as he stared at your swaying hips and perfect curves. you bit your lip at the thought of him regretting turning you away, the confidence intoxicating you. before the song ended, you made sure to lock eyes with him — letting you know that this was your stage and your body he was silently and secretly drooling over. when you sent a cheeky wink his way, he shook his head — downing his glass in an instant. you smiled when he stood from his seat, immediately darting for the “vip” lounge in the back that proudly boasted a sign that read “private dances.”
when you made your way into the back room, you were told that a certain someone had specially asked for you. once you made your way back there, you found what you were looking for.
“make me feel young again, darlin’.”
you couldn’t help but smile. he didn’t say it in an insecure way, but in a way that suggested that his day had been too long and too tiring.
“tell me how you like it?”
he didn’t say anything — he just watched you. his eyes never left yours as you flung off your top, exposing your breasts. he drank his entire glass of whisky before you had planted yourself on his thighs. the flesh of your ass was like to pillows, fit for his large hands. he didn’t touch you — but by how hard he gulped, you could tell he wanted to.
“touch me, sugar,” you whispered. “i won’t tell.”
there was hesitation in his eyes, but soon his gaze darkened. restraint had fallen through the cracks, gone and forgotten. was a shame he had already paid for the dance — you would’ve fucked him for free.
now it was time to make it worth his while.
the man beneath you ground your round hips down into his pelvis, groaning at the friction. he hadn’t seen peace or pleasure since never, but it held his facial feature hostage as his nostrils picked up on the scent of your arousal. warm, tangy juices that leaked through the lace in your panties onto the denim of his jeans.
“take off your pants,” you breathed. “i’ll remind you how young you are — if you promise you’ll show me the skill that only comes with age.”
he had you bent over the table, hands behind your back held by his belt. he planted two heavy feet next to each of your ankles, keeping your legs spread and ready for him. his thrusts were hard against the back of your hips as you only had the table’s edge to support you. you felt him repeatedly hit your cervix, wincing at the aggression.
“that’s not the spot, huh, darlin’?” he spat.
you stayed silent — wanting to see how he reacted.
“i can feel it — resistance,” he grunted. “that sweet pussy needs more, doesn’t she?”
his hard, calloused hands rotated your hips so the tip of his cock repeatedly began to smack into the softest and gummiest part of your inner walls. a moan ripped through you like no other — your back arching upwards as your hips desperately tried to meet his thrusts.
“there it is — that’s it, darlin’. come on, fight back.” you could feel the rough skin of his finger tips dig up and into your pelvis, welcoming the pressure. one of his hands moved underneath you — hauling your hips upwards — pressing against your lower abdomen. he could feel the outline of his cock fucking into your womb, stuffing you full. “i can feel how deep you’re takin’ it, darlin’ — pussy so greedy, ain’t she? — always wantin’ more? those young boys just ain’ it? i’ll take care of her, darlin’…”
you were a whining mess beneath him — practically incoherent. he could hear, smell, feel, taste everything you were feeling. he had every part of you in his hands — completely vulnerable to his mercy and touch. and when your hips started to shake — fighting with him and against him — all he could do was force them down as you took his cock. you whined and whine and whinedwhinedwhined for more until the glam makeup began to melt off your face.
the man watched as your body shook for him — him and only him. you found his wrist, holding onto it for dear life as you tired to anchor yourself. the pleasure was too much, causing your head to spin. you could feel the man rub the skin of your ass tenderly, coaxing you into your orgasm. your womb bloomed for him, wanting to suck him dry and never let him go. his groans were animalistic, filling the room as you begged him to fill your pussy. he smacked your ass once, twice, thrice before he pulled out and painted your back with his cum.
once he pulled out, you were still on your stomach on the table as you tried to catch your breath. he bent down to meet your eyes — a youthful glow on his face — before he pressed a kiss to your lips.
“you just ruined men my own age for me.”
“get your things, doll — takin’ you away from here.”
———
depravity - L xoxo lmk what u think ;)
#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#the wolverine#logan wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan howlett
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That boy is mine.
୨୧ Summery: hsr men and their love languages.
୨୧ Including: Aventurine, Jing Yuan, Sunday, Veritas Ratio, Argenti.
୨୧ Warnings: none. Gn! Reader, All fluff, just the hsr men spoiling you like how you should be spoilt.
♡︎ Aventurine— receiving gifts.
“Err, Aventurine? This is the fifth diamond bracelet this month.”
“Today is a special day.”
“You say that everyday…” you whisper to yourself in amusement while your fingers brush over the expensive material sealed around your wrist. You try not to sound disappointed because—you’re not really disappointed but rather confused or guilty for him spending so recklessly with you.
Upon seeing the guilt he knew so well etched on your face, he quickly steps closer, “It looks pretty on you, which is all the reason i need.” He teases, his hand snaking towards your lower back. “You didn’t complain about the shoes and necklace I bought you,” he shrugs with a grin plastered on his face and you shake your head in return.
“I appreciate everything you do to me, i just dislike it when a lot of money is wasted.” You gently scold him but he brushes it off with a laugh.
“Darling, you need to stop thinking like this. Money was meant to be spent.” He playfully flickers your forehead, before gently caressing the spot with his thumb.
“How can i ever spoil you back, hmm?” He grins at your question, his thumb that was caressing your forehead moves to your chin. Holding it with a firm, yet gentle grip. “I told you, silly,” he murmurs, leaning forward to bring his face closer to yours. “All you have to do is be cute, and give me a kiss every once in a while.”
“… is that it?” Your figure almost slumps at his too simple requests. From now on, you’d try harder to shower him with all the kisses and affection.
“That’s all it takes. Your cute little reactions and your pretty face are more than enough to spoil such a simple man, like me.” He says, his hand slipping down to your waist, pulling you closer. You take ahold of his face with your hands, pulling his face to give his lips some attention, his hand tightening around your waist “will this suffice?”
“I’m a bit greedy, one more.” He whispers, and you press your lips against his again for another chaste kiss. “Again,” he says in a bit more demanding tone this time, taking over the lead and kissing you even deeper, trailing his lips along your jawline then a final kiss just below your earlobe. Your whole face burning just from simple kisses.
“I will get you anything you want, everything you desire,” he whispers against your neck, “A yacht, a penthouse, jewels, whatever you want. My only condition is you stay with me, and make those cute little noises when i spoil you.”
“Cute little noises?” You squint your eyes at him, pulling back to see him, “you mean.. my surprised expressions?”
“Exactly like that. The soft gasps, wide eyes, and adorable smile.” You grins while taking you in a crushing embrace and you only laugh back at him.
♡︎ Jing Yuan— physical touch.
You suddenly can’t breath when the general came home particularly clingy today. Big arms preventing you from escaping his hold with his lips not leaving any spot untouched on your face.
“Missed you today,” he would whisper in his thick raspy voice, hands roaming around your body with strands of his hair almost covering your face, “my pretty spouse.” His voice is muffled from his face buried in your neck.
“You’re the clingiest man i know.”
His suddenly stopped for a moment, expression darkening slightly, “you know other men?”
“Ohh, the most jealous one too.” You chuckle when he shoots you a pout, sometimes you could imagine him looking like a big sad lion.
“Not that I’m complaining.” You press a tender kiss to his forehead, and just like that, his shoulders relax and his golden eyes seem to shine just a bit brighter. “Was work harsh on you today?”
Jing Yuan let out a drawn-out sigh, "Exhausting is more like it," he replied with a tired smile. "Still need to train Yanqing later tonight per his request,"
His expression softened as he looked down to meet your gaze.
"I've been looking forward to this time with you all week." He hums, resting his head on your chest and your hand immediately finds its place on his hair. Jing Yuan smiles as he feels your delicate fingers take out the red ribbon from his long, white hair, letting it cascade down to his shoulders.
"I should call in sick tomorrow," he grins when he hears you quietly chuckle, beginning to lean on you as your fingers worked through his hair.
“Is this the general of the luofu?” You decide to tease him a bit, his rough hands squeezing your thighs in return. “No, this is just your spouse now. All putty for you."
♡︎ Veritas Ratio— Quality time.
Ratio was sprawled on his stomach, a large book held in his hands. He was so engrossed in the content that he didn't even hear you enter the room until you jumped onto the bed.
“What are you doing?” You simply ask as you make space for yourself next to him, He turned his head to glance at you for a second before returning his attention to the page.
"Reading a book on advanced mathematics," he replied, his voice sounding a bit distracted. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
“Oh the boring stuff.”
"Boring? Excuse you. This stuff happens to be quite fascinating. Not everyone can appreciate the complexity and beauty of mathematical theory, you know."
Your brain goes short circuit at his explanation, and you shake your head instead. "You can read your amazing stuff to yourself while i... Maybe brush your hair?"
Ratio couldn't help but scoff at your suggestion. "Brush my hair, really? What, do you think I'm a doll or something?"
But secretly, the idea of you running your fingers through his hair had a certain appeal to him. He shrugged nonchalantly, feigning indifference.
"Fine, go ahead. Do with my hair whatever makes you happy, I suppose."
"Yay," you immediately grab the brush from your drawer and gesture him to lean back against your chest, and he immediately obliged. Melting back against your chest while holding his book to his lap. “I love you,” you then whisper and he only hums in return.
You huff at his silence, "I thought you were going to say something like 'oh i love you to the moon and back!' or 'i actually don't love you'." You say in a mocking tone.
Ratio chuckled again, shaking his head in mock annoyance. "Oh, so you're expecting some sappy, romantic cliché, are you? Sorry to disappoint you, darling."
He reached up and gently poked your forehead with his index finger. "I don't think I could actually say something like that with a straight face. I have standards, you know."
Then you tug his hair gently with the brush, showing your annoyance, making him gasp. "Hey, careful with the hair," he protested half-heartedly, feigning irritation. "Do you want me to go bald before I'm thirty?"
"At least you look pretty now." You hand him a mirror to show him the creation you've made on his hair. Tiny braids.
“Aeons, what have you done to my hair?”
"I made an artwork, thank you very much."
He took another look at his reflection in the mirror, tilting his head to examine the braids in his hair from different angles.
“Artwork, you say?” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Looks more like a bird’s nest, if you ask me.”
You blink twice at his words, "Wait, what if birds actually lay their eggs on your hair?" His smirk vanished, replaced by a look of mock horror. "Oh gods, please don't give them ideas," he said, you both quickly start unbraiding his hair.
♡ Sunday— Acts of service.
“Is this better, love?” Sunday asks softly when he took off his coat to drape it around your shoulders instead, and you nod your head. He wouldn’t want his beloved to catch a cold now.
Both of you decided to go on a walk in penacony as a date, just to enjoy each other’s presence for the night.
He wraps a protective hand around your waist, moving to walk on the side of the street while you were safely walking on the sidewalk.
“I wouldn’t ask for anything more.” You smile brightly under the light poles. "I’m relieved to hear that, darling." Sunday replied with a pleasant hum, giving your hips a gentle squeeze as you leaned into him for warmth. He smiled at your laugh, finding your happiness to be such a joyous sight. you had always been such an angelic being in his eyes; just the sight of your smiling and laughing was enough for his heart to flutter madly in his chest.
"careful, dont trip. watch your step."
You step to the side just in time to avoid tripping over a few rocks, giving him the sweetest smile, "Always caring for me, my love."
Sunday felt his cheeks flush ever so faintly at your smile. The soft feathers of his wings grazing his cheeks in a failed attempt to hide the redness. Your sweet personality and mannerisms tugging at the strings of his heart in an almost dizzying manner.
"i cant possibly let my angel hurt themself on our date, now can i?"
It was your turn for your cheeks to flush at his words. Your tried turning around to avoid him seeing your face when your hand landed upon a bush of flowers.
You carefully pluck the crimson one before handing it to him, "for you,”
He took the flower from your hand and twirled it between his fingers, admiring the pretty, crimson hue. he tucked it behind his ear, the red complimenting his hair nicely.
he chuckled in amusement. “it's beautiful. how did you know red is my favourite colour?"
"Is it? Last time i gave you a blue shirt and you said it was your favourite colour." You laugh, plucking another flower to tuck it right at the fluttering wings next to his ears.
“Hmm, everything you give me is my favorite. That’s only fair.” For some reason the way Sunday talks, makes you believe for sure that you’re definitely safe with him.
♡ Argenti— words of affirmation.
“I cannot get enough of you.” he murmured against your hair. It’s quieter than usual now with his presence, which is something you don’t hate either.
"You flatter me with your words, darling." You whisper, feeling protected around his arms, with your head resting on his chest where you could listen to his heart beat rather quicker than usual.
"And you flatter me with your presence, my love," Argenti replied, his voice a deep and velvety rumble. His hand rose to gently brush a stray strand of hair away from your face, his touch lingering on your cheek for a moment too long.
The steady rhythm of his heart seemed to pick up its pace as it thumped against his chest, a subtle giveaway of his growing excitement. "You make my heart beat faster than it should," he confessed, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
“Your words always manages to make me fall head over heels for you.” You say dreamily, taking a few on his red end strands of hair to twirl with. He laughed softly, shifting his position so he could look down at you. He gently tilted your chin up, his thumb gently grazing your jawline.
"Where do I even begin? Your beauty is without equal, a sight so captivating it robs me of my breath every time I lay my eyes upon you," he whispered, his voice soft yet filled with affection. "Your intelligence is like a rare gem, sharper than the finest sword and just as precious. Every moment spent with you is a treasure, my love."
You shift in your place a bit to take a good look at his face, and you only see gentleness and sincerity behind it.
“I lied, my skin might burn from all this sweetness.” You admit, pressing your chin against his shoulder.
Argenti laughed again, and you might think it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. He gently wrapped his arms around yours, "Seeing the effect I have on you is a sight more beautiful than any sunrise," he purred, voice dripping like honey, his hand now moving to glide down your neck, fingers tracing patterns on your nape.
"I will never tire of making your skin burn, my love. Each blush and shiver you give me only adds fuel to my desire for you." His thumb traced circles on your nape, and you could just sleep right here.
“I never thought I would be this… desire-able?” You mumble, the hint of insecurity showing, making him sigh.
"Nonsense,” he tightens his arms around you, “The way you move, the sound of your voice, the way you look at me... it drives me to the brink of madness. I find myself craving you at all hours of the day, constantly longing for your touch, your presence alone is enough to make me weak in my knees."
You frown at his words, relaxing right here, in the arms of your lover, “you’re too precious.”
“Likewise, darling.”
#hsr x reader#honkai star rail fluff#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#aventurine#aventurine x reader#sunday#sunday x reader#Veritas Ratio#veritas ratio x reader#ratio x reader#argenti#argenti x reader#honkai star rail x reader#fanfic#hsr men#hsr x you#honkai star rail
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i've actually just now decided that the absolute worst "free to play" game mechanic is limited inventory space that you need to pay premium currency to increase.
#ghost town... 2!#yeah this is about pokemon sleep again#look. whoever's in charge of this stuff. idk if it's select button or tpc but whoever it is?#i am here to try and keep a consistent sleep schedule. do not throw this bullshit inventory management at me#it isn't gonna get me to pay you money. it's just gonna start discouraging me from using the app altogether#which would be really disappointing because it IS actually helping me#also: why are great biscuits exclusive to the subscription-only and premium currency shops#the only way to get them is to get a full 8 hours of sleep for 2 nights ONLY as someone who has a monthly subscription#(side note: you can still accumulate the points with less sleep ofc but that's the fastest way)#which gets you enough points to buy 1 great biscuit (with a limit of 5 per week even if you save up points)#or if you don't have the subscription#the only way to get them is 600 diamonds for 3 great biscuits#which means; excluding the achievement awards which are one-time only per tier and very slow to achieve;#you can either pay $10.99 OR make it to bed on time for 24 WEEKS (roughly 5.5 months)#and what do great biscuits do you ask? well. they let you fill a pokemon's friendship meter by THREE instead of the standard ONE#incredible! this is absolutely worth spending over $10 on a sleep tracker app to make befriending pokemon slightly faster. great work guys!#(HEAVY SARCASM)#ok rant over. i'm still overall enjoying the game w/o spending any money but god i hate capitalism so much. i'm gonna start mauling people
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One Day*
Summary: An extra for 404*
The one where you still hate Harry, but turns out, you might be having his baby.
Word Count: 5.4k
Content Warning: 18+, smut, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, spanking, brief choking, slight angst (happy ending), mentions of pregnancy and babies! *Please be so gentle with yourself and only continue if you feel comfortable! 💞*
“I’m late.”
“For what?”
You huff. “I’m late,” you repeat, gesturing frantically toward your hips. “A week late. Which I know can happen, but…not really to me, so…I’m late. And I think we’re fucked.”
Harry blinks. Looks down at your stomach. Looks up at your face. “Oh.”
“Oh?” You rear back. “That’s all you have to say for yourself is oh?”
He lifts his left shoulder in nonchalant shrug before flopping down onto your sofa. “I don’t know. What did you want me to say?”
“I…I don’t know,” you huff. “I kind of thought you’d…yell. Or freak out or something. Or ask me if I’m keeping it.”
“Do you want me to freak out?”
“Well…no. Not really.”
“Do you want to keep it?”
“I…I don’t know, I don’t even…I’m not even sure if I am yet or not.”
“Okay.” He nudges his glasses up before crossing his arms. “Well did you get a test?”
You glance toward the pharmacy bag still sitting on your kitchen counter. It’s been mocking you ever since you picked it up. Staring you down, sticking out its tongue. One, tiny little box that’ll determine the next chapter of your life. It’s almost infuriating.
“Yeah,” you mumble. “I, um…got one on the way home from work.”
“Okay. Have you taken it yet?”
“Not…exactly.”
His brow raises. “Do you…need help or something?”
You scowl. “It’s peeing on a stick, I think I’ve got it covered.”
“Yeah, well, knowing you, you’d find a way to fuck it up.” He smirks. “Sure hope our baby gets my brains instead of yours.”
You grab the pillow beside him and give him a firm whack. “That’s not funny.”
He laughs as he winces. “Good. I wasn’t being funny.”
“Then, stop it. And stop being so calm.”
“You just said you preferred calm—”
“Well…it’s scaring me now. So what gives?”
Another shrug. “I don’t know. I just don’t really feel the need to waste a reaction on something we don’t even know is happening yet. Take the test and then I’ll freak out if you’d like.”
“You say that like someone that’s had a lot of pregnancy scares.”
He snorts. “No, I say that like someone who knows freaking out won’t exactly help you right now. So just take the goddamn test, Tinkerbell. And we’ll go from there.”
Unamused, but somehow slightly comforted, you oblige and snatch the box from the table before retreating to the bathroom.
Once the timer has been set, you slowly make your way back to him.
He’s still sitting on the sofa. Calm. Unaffected. Watching you without a care in the world. Like his whole life isn’t about to change.
It drives you nuts.
“Five minutes,” you tell him.
He nods.
Warily, you sit in the chair to his left, staring holes through your shoes as your heart races inside your chest. You’re not sure how you got here. Not sure where you could possibly go. You aren’t ready for a baby. Not…yet. Especially not one with…him.
“Hey,” he calls, pulling your attention up. “S’the matter with you?”
Your eyes narrow. “What the hell do you think?”
Another casual shrug that makes your teeth grit. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy?” You lean back. “Why on Earth would I be happy about getting stuck with your DNA for the rest of my life?”
He smiles. “I don’t know. You just seem like the type of girl to want a lot of babies.”
You scoff. “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I am not.” You don’t think.
“Really? Is that why you begged me to breed you?”
“I didn’t actually mean it. That’s just what you say in a moment like that.”
His eyebrow raises.
You hesitate. “Did…did you mean it?”
“Kind of,” he admits. “I mean, yeah, maybe I didn’t mean right this second, but…I don’t hate the idea.”
“You actually want to be a father?” You snort. “Bullshit. You hate kids. I’ve seen you.”
“I don’t hate kids, I just don’t care about them when they aren’t mine.” He throws his arm over the back of the chair and smirks. “I like my nieces, though. They’re chill.”
You blink. “You…you have nieces? Wait, you have siblings?”
“Yeah. One brother. He’s got two kids and they’re cute as shit.”
“Oh.” Your head starts to pound. “See? We can’t have a baby when I don’t even know anything about you.”
He chuckles to himself before nodding his chin at you. “All right, fine. Go ahead. Ask me whatever.”
“What?”
“Ask me what you wanna know.”
You think. “Okay. How often do you see your family?”
“Often enough. They live in California, and they work a lot. But we call every couple of weeks.”
“Oh. That’s…surprisingly nice. Uh…do you have a history of disease in your family?”
He grins. “Excuse me?”
“I need to know what I’m getting myself into.” You motion at him. “Answer.”
“This isn’t an interview—”
“Answer.”
“No,” he says. “Not that I know of anyway.”
“Great. Do you plan to be a deadbeat father?”
His eyes roll. “I’m not dignifying that with a response.”
“So, yes? You do? Oh, great—”
“No, because that’s not a fair fucking question—”
“It is a fair question. If I have to raise this baby alone, I want to know—”
“Of course you wouldn’t fucking be alone. Do you really think so little of me—”
“I don’t think about you at all. How am I supposed to know what you’ll do—”
“I wouldn’t leave you alone,” he nearly snaps. He takes a breath to calm himself before adding, “Even if it wasn’t my baby, I wouldn’t leave you alone.”
Your lashes flutter and you can feel your heart lodging in your throat. “Fine. Last question.”
He waits.
“Did you ever want kids…before? With…her?”
He doesn’t have to think for very long, but the mention of her makes him smile. “Nah. We talked about it, but we weren’t ready. We liked it being just us, you know? We had a bunch of shit we wanted to do. We were a long way from babies and a white picket fence.”
You try to blink back the tears swimming their way to your eye. You can still see that beautiful picture of her in his room. An entire future of love and life and adventures that he lost. Now…he’s stuck with you.
“Oh,” you murmur.
His brows furrow. “What?”
“Nothing.” You swipe your knuckle along your cheek. “So, you probably still aren’t ready.”
“I didn’t say that.”
You give him an incredulous look. “Harry, come on. You aren’t ready for a baby. I’m not ready for a baby. We…we don’t know each other, we don’t like each other…we can’t do this. You know that.”
“Do I?” He leans forward. “It’s a baby, not a bomb. I think we can handle it.”
“Well, I don’t. You don’t even like me. You can’t have a baby with me.”
“Why not? People do it all the time.”
“But not us.” You give him a firm stare. “Harry, we love our jobs. We want careers, not kids. So having a baby kind of gets in the way of that. There’s…there’s diaper changes, and teething, and potty training—”
“So?”
“So. We don’t work together well. In fact, it’s a rather well-known fact that we don’t get along. We can’t possibly raise a kid. We’d ruin it.” You study him for a beat, unnerved by the nonchalance in his tone. “Why do I get the feeling you actually want this to be real?”
Another shrug and you nearly lunge at him. “I don’t know,” he murmurs, resting his elbows on his knees while he glances at the floor. “I’m older now. Maybe it’s time to…think about settling down.”
Your face scrunches. “Ew. That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
He laughs. “Look, I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it, but…maybe it could be a good thing.”
You stand from your chair and pace the length of your small living room. “This is crazy. This is crazy. I can’t have a baby, I’m…I’m not ready. I’m too young, I…I don’t even know what I’d do with one. Or if I even have a maternal instinct.”
“Probably not,” Harry offers, smirking when you glare. “You won’t really know until you have one.”
“Oh, great.”
“Listen, if you feel like you aren’t ready…we can find another alternative,” he says, softening his voice. “Okay? There are plenty of other options and we’ll find one you feel comfortable with.”
A tad wary of his sympathetic answer, you eye him closely. “Yeah? And what if we disagree?”
“We won’t,” he says calmly. “Your body, your decision.”
“Right,” you snort. “I’m sure.”
“I mean it. I wouldn’t be the one having to carry it.” He nods as though to reassure you. “Honestly, Tink. This would be your decision, one hundred percent. It’s not mine to make. Just to support.”
The tears rush a little faster as you sniffle and step closer. “You say that now, but what if I decide something you don’t like?”
“I will like it. I promise,” he murmurs, standing up in order to move toward you. “If you want to keep it, great. If you don’t, great.”
“I…I…” You suck in a deep breath, unable to slow the wild racing in your chest. “Fuck, I can’t…I don’t know—”
“Hey, okay, easy. Easy, Princess,” he says, quickly reaching out to take you in his arms and ease you against his chest. “Relax. Okay? Just breathe. Breathe for me.”
“I…I don’t think I can—”
“Yes, you can. You are.” His lips press to the top of your head while his hand runs up and down your back soothingly. “I’m right here. Do you hear me? I’m right here. You’re not alone. You won’t be alone. I promise.”
You squeeze your arms together and hold on with everything you have. Right now, he feels like your only anchor in the world. The only person strong enough to carry you both through to the other side. And for the first time since you met him…you feel glad that he’s here.
The two of you stand in the middle of the room for a long while before he finally murmurs, “I think it’s been five minutes.”
Your eyes close and you grip his shirt in your first. “I’m…I’m not ready to look.”
“Okay.” You can hear the smile in his response. “Okay, we can wait.”
So, you do as the truth starts to build in your chest. Inescapable, no matter how hard you try to swallow it down.
Finally, you can’t help but whisper, “You know what scares me the most?”
“Hm?”
“…that maybe I’m hoping it’s real.”
The apartment falls silent again. He doesn’t push you to elaborate, but you can feel his heart beating just a little faster inside his chest.
“I don’t know why,” you continue. “I don’t…I really don’t think I’m ready, but…but what if I should be? What if…what if we met and we started this because…because we were supposed to do this?”
He considers this. “Like fate.”
“Yeah.” You roll your lips into your mouth. “Because I still hate you. I do. I just…I’m starting to get this picture in my head of us. Being a family. Having a big house in a good school district. Tucking them into bed at night and reading them stories. Which is…dumb.”
“No,” he mumbles. “No, it’s not dumb. I’ve been thinking about it, too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Because I meant what I said, I’d love to get you pregnant. You’d look really fucking hot.”
You chuckle. “Yes, so you’ve mentioned.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Uh…okay?”
He smirks. “I never had a breeding kink until I met you.”
You lean back and swat your hand across his chest. “You’re so annoying.”
“What? I’m being serious.” He grins and those dimples pop free. God, you hope your kids have his dimples—
No. Nope. You aren’t going there.
You shake your head, ridding yourself of the thought. “Whatever. You’re just horny.”
“Maybe. But it’s still true.” His gentle gaze sweeps across your face. “If you wanna do this…we’ll do it. You and me. We’ll have this baby, and we’ll raise it to be really smart, and funny, and to not take shit from anybody.”
You laugh, brushing away a few more tears. “Maybe we can teach it to write code.”
“Oh, fucking obviously.”
The two of you smile before the excitement seems to fizzle and Harry’s brows pull together.
“You know I don’t actually hate you, right?” he says.
You blink. “What?”
“I know that’s our thing, and I know you said it earlier, but…I don’t actually hate you. This baby wouldn’t grow up with two parents that don’t like each other.”
“Oh…I…I know.”
“Good. Because I don’t want that to be one of the reasons you think we can’t do it. I’d fucking love that baby. And I’d love you for carrying it.”
Instantly, you both seem to still. The four-letter word sounds so loud inside such a small room.
I’d love you.
He clears his throat, shifting a bit as he glances toward the kitchen. “I mean, I’d…I’d appreciate you for carrying it—”
“No, yeah, I know,” you stammer. “I know what you mean.”
“Good. Yeah.”
The two of you fall quiet again before you softly admit, “I think I’m ready to look.”
“Okay.” He squeezes your hip. “I’m right here.”
You take in a deep breath before begrudgingly pulling yourself out of his arms. You already miss his warmth and the way he felt like home and your stomach turns as you slip into the bathroom.
With trembling hands, you reach for the stick that sits on the edge of your sink. And in those three seconds, an entire lifetime flashes before your eyes.
The good, the bad, and the everything in-between. You see a house and a dog and a big backyard. You see two little kids rolling in the grass and jumping into the pool. You hear them begging for a bedtime story and crying when they scrape their knee.
You see a dozen birthdays and holidays and visits to the zoo. You see their heartbreaks and triumphs, their successes and letdowns. You see a million goodnight kisses and cuddles on the couch.
And then…you see Harry.
In every picture, every moment. Taking them to their first baseball game and picking them up from their first dance. Sneaking them into R-rated movies even after you explicitly said no and feeding them far too much candy and popcorn.
You see him teach your son how to tie a tie and dance with your daughter as she stands on his feet. You see him cooking breakfast in the kitchen, flour all over his face. You see him curled up in bed, his head on your chest, your fingers in his hair. You hear him tell you how happy he is. How glad that he found you.
It’s a beautiful life. Even if it’s not the one you imagined for yourself. And in that moment, you decide that it doesn’t matter what the test says. If that’s your future, so be it.
As long as you get to live it with him.
“So?” Harry calls from the hall.
You swallow thickly and slowly glance down.
Negative.
Negative.
No baby. No pregnancy. No white-picket fence.
You stare at the test for at least a full minute. You aren’t sure how you feel. Relieved. Disappointed. Upset. Thankful. Confused.
“Tink?”
You turn around. “Uh…it’s negative,” you report, handing it to him. “False alarm. I guess I’m just late.”
He glances over the stick with a rather blank expression before looking at you. “Are you okay?”
You nod. “Yeah. This is definitely the better outcome. I’m just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was just starting to get used to the idea.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, handing it back. “I know.”
You throw the test away. “Sorry for making you come all the way over here for that.”
“Hey, whoa—” He strides into the bathroom. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I’d be here.”
“I just…I wasted your time. I should have taken it before I called you—”
“Tink,” he sighs, taking your cheeks in his hands. “Stop. You can always call me for shit like this.” He looks at you, then amends, “You can always me. For anything. You know that.”
A tear slips from your eye without warning, and you suck in a sharp breath. “I don’t know why I’m so disappointed. This is what I wanted—”
“I know,” he says gently. “I know. It’s hard.”
“Yeah.” You hiccup. “But this is good, right? This is better?”
For a moment, he says nothing. He simply stares at you with a rather sympathetic expression. Or maybe it’s forlorn. Maybe he’s disappointed. Upset that you aren’t giving him what he wants.
Then, he dips down to kiss the tip of your nose. “This is good,” he whispers, and you know he means it. “We would have figured it out. And you would have been a wonderful mom. But I know you. And I know you aren’t ready. Not yet.”
You close your eyes and melt into the feel of his palms against your skin. Into the way he reassures you and protects you all in the same breath. You never thought you’d feel so safe in the serenity of his touch, but here you are. Wishing for him to hold you forever.
“And when we are ready, we’ll do it on our terms,” he says. “Okay?”
Slowly, you nod. “This is good,” you repeat to yourself. “It is. Really. Things are going great at work, I’m finally secure financially, and even you and I are…kind of getting along.”
He smirks.
“This is good. This is better.” You repeat the mantra until you really believe it. “Besides, I probably wouldn’t have been a very good pregnant woman anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’d be really cranky. Or needy. My ankles would get all swollen and I’d be hot all the time and nauseous and miserable. I’d probably try to kill you.”
“Oh, you’d definitely try to kill me. You try to kill me even when you aren’t pregnant.”
You gasp. “Rude.”
“What?” He chuckles again before his eyes slowly start to rake down your frame. “But I don’t know. I think it’ll be better than you think.”
You swat him again. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop trying to picture it.”
“Why? I told you, you’d look fucking hot.”
“Yeah…no.”
However, he only nods, moving in to subtly brush his lips against yours. “You would. Be so fucking beautiful carrying our baby. With your tits all swollen and your belly getting bigger every day.”
Truthfully, the image almost makes you grimace, but there’s something about the way he says it. The way he talks about you so reverently. A soft, sultry murmur that goes straight to your cunt. Because you know he’s not just saying it to say it. He means it. Believes it. Would do anything for it.
He tilts your head back, thumb brushing along your jaw. “And I think you like it,” he exhales. “I think you like the idea of holding me inside you. Having a part of me. Knowing that I did it to you. No one else.”
You suck in a soft breath, knees going just a bit weak. “Harry…”
“What, baby?” His mouth ghosts along your neck. “Are you thinking about it? Thinking about how pretty your tummy would look with me inside it?”
He’s evil. Absolutely evil, and you clear your throat in a desperate attempt to regain control of yourself. “Do you…have a pregnancy kink I don’t know about?”
His lips quirk up. “Apparently.”
“Mm.” Your lashes flutter and the urge to kiss him grows stronger. “You know…some women get really horny when they’re pregnant.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Yeah. I don’t think you could handle it.”
He scoffs. “Oh, no?”
You shake your head. “I mean, do you really think you could keep up? Going for hours and hours on end? Trying to keep me satiated with your poor, limp little dick?”
He makes another noise, and you tsk.
“I mean, you can barely satisfy me now as it is. But if I was pregnant? Pfft. Forget it.”
Instantly, he’s snatching hold of your hips and yanking you against his chest. “Don’t fucking tempt me, Princess,” he nearly growls. “I’ll bend you over right now.”
“No, I don’t think you will,” you retort. “You’ve gone soft on me. Rubbing my back, kissing my hair. You wanna take care of me and honestly? It’s a little pathetic.”
His head cocks rather deviously and your pulse begins to skip. He could split you in half if he wanted to and you both know it.
But that’s what you need right now. You don’t want to be coddled or looked after. You wanna be fucked. Tortured and teased until you’re begging for release.
You want an escape.
And in that moment, Harry decides to give you one.
He picks you up and carries you out of the bathroom while your legs quickly work to hook to his hips for stability and your arms snake around his neck.
He ignores your squeals and teasing huffs of annoyance, instead dropping you onto your mattress with a soft thud.
You glare and push up onto your elbows. “You know, you don’t have to manhandle me—”
“Shut up.”
He surges forward, lips gliding against yours as he takes a taste of you on his tongue. And kissing is easy with him. As easy breathing, like you’ve done it all your life. You know exactly what he likes, what he wants. And you give it him.
His glasses are cold against your face, keeping him from getting as close as he’d like, and after a moment, he huffs, and rips them off before tossing them aside. And even though you adore when he wears them, you happen to adore being near him even more.
Your hands are in his hair, tugging on his curls, scratching down his neck. He has the added advantage of being on top, but that doesn’t seem to stop him from turning to putty in your hands. Clay for you to mold to your liking.
No matter how dominant he tries to be, he’s simply a man that needs to be told what to do. Taken care of. Shown.
And you happen to like showing him.
You feel him tug on the hem of your shirt. “Off,” he breathes between carnal nips to your throat. “I want this off, Tink.”
Happy to oblige, you push him back so you can lift yourself up before you peel the fabric from your chest. You take your time with the bra, allowing the straps to fall down your arms oh so slowly. You don’t rush to reveal yourself to him, instead letting him anticipate you. Until his heart is racing and his eyes are darkening and he’s resisting the urge to do it himself.
But once he can finally see you, he nearly groans. “Oh, good fucking girl.”
He resumes his work. More kisses are left to the warm, tender skin, and he happily sucks bruises into each swell and curve of your breast before teasing the nipple with his tongue. His hands are greedy—ravenous. Pulling at your flesh, clawing his way along your frame.
When he reaches your thighs, you whimper. You’ve missed the way he touches you. The way he pries your legs apart and makes a home between.
In a rush, he snaps your panties off into his fist and you toss him a punishing glare.
He smiles.
You rid each other of your remaining clothes in a frantic fashion until they’re nothing more than a dirty pile on the floor. Messy and familiar. Fated.
He drops down onto the bed back first, effortlessly swapping positions as you’re placed in a straddle over his waist.
“Good girl, let me see you,” he murmurs, running his fingers down your cheek before grabbing your jaw. “Go ahead.”
You reach down and take his hardening cock in your hand, running it along your cunt before teasing yourself with the tip.
“Didn’t stretch you,” he mumbles, leaving a few stray kisses to your collarbone. “S’might hurt, so—”
You push him in, simultaneously sinking down in an effort to feel a more prominent burn., and you both make a rather lewd noise as the grip on your chin tightens.
“Tink,” he hisses with a punishing look of his own. “Careful—”
You drop yourself further, muscles tensing around the thickness until your thighs begin to shake.
“Hey—” He forces your eyes on his. “Enough. Be gentle, m’not gonna hurt you—”
“I want you to,” you pant. “Please. I need it. I…fuck, Har, I need it. Please…please.”
He’s still frowning but his expression softens. “Baby…not like this. Maybe we should wait until you’re feeling better—"
“No,” you whimper. Desperate. Fraught. “Harry, please, don’t stop. Don’t make me stop—”
“Hey, easy, easy.” He pulls your forehead to his. “Breathe. It’s okay.”
You try to obey. Try to suck in a strangled gasp of air but it’s useless. He’s gonna take himself from you. He’s gonna leave, and you’ll be empty, and alone, and maybe he won’t ever touch you again—
He places his palm on your chest, right over your heart. “Breathe,” he says again. Soft. Quiet. “In then out. Good girl, just like that.”
You follow the sound of his voice. Mimic his inhales and exhales until the two of you fall into a synchronized rhythm.
“Good,” he says again, rubbing his other hand along your back. “There you go. You’re all right, I’ve got you. Yeah?”
Weakly, you nod. “I’m…I’m sorry. I just…I—”
“Shh.” He kisses your nose. “You’re okay, Tink. I know.”
A long moment passes before you finally feel in control of your own heart again and once you blink the fog from your eye, you see him. Delicate and strong at the same time.
He sweeps his thumb along your lip. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you admit. “Really, I just…I needed to feel you. And I wanted to…move on, I guess. Think about something else. Lose myself for a bit.”
He sighs but nods his understanding. “You could have told me that.”
“I know. I guess I’m just not used to sharing things with you.”
“I know,” he echoes with a small grin. “But we’ll learn, yeah?”
Your gaze grows suspicious. “And why would we do that?”
“Because,” he says simply. “If we’re gonna make a bunch of hot, smart babies one day, we’re gonna have to communicate.”
You snort. “Yeah, well, that won’t be for a while.”
“Fine. Just gives us more time to practice.”
Your eyes narrow. “You really have gone soft on me, haven’t you? All because you thought I was pregnant."
He laughs, fingers slipping around the back of your neck to pull you in for a kiss. “I’d argue I’m actually quite hard right now.”
“Ha. Funny.”
“I can hate you and like you at the same time, right?” he teases. “Because I think that’s my sweet spot. Wanting to kill you and fuck you all at once.”
“Agreed. You’re insufferable but you’re also one of my favorite people. Which only makes you more insufferable.”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I think we earned a little civility, no?”
You nod and take his lip between your teeth. “And I think we should celebrate with an orgasm.”
He laughs again. “I suppose that’s only fair.”
You dance your kisses down his chest, enjoying the way his head drops back while he sighs at the feel of your tongue. He’s so beautiful and so good and if you’re going to lose yourself, you want to lose yourself in him.
Leaning back, brace your hands behind you on his knees, and start to bounce yourself on his cock. Over and over, faster and faster, until he’s grabbing onto your hips and giving them a firm, encouraging squeeze to help you along.
Your tits bounce right in his face, and he takes advantage of his front row seat, allowing his hands to trace and tease your nipples as you whine. He sucks them into his mouth and pulls them with his teeth. It sends chills along your spine and goosebumps along your arms and when he notices, he smirks.
Not even a minute later, he’s pulling you down so your chest meets his. His hands land on your ass with a firm grip and he drags you along his cock. Slow and sensual until your eyes flutter shut, and you disappear into the building pleasure.
You feel his kisses on your ribcage as he begins to thrust up into you. Returning to the pace you previously set until you’re both chasing that familiar high.
“There you go,” he praises through gritted teeth. “Fuck yeah, just like that—”
“Harry,” you mewl, fingers tangling in his hair. “Shit, please—”
“I know.” He leaves another kiss to the inside of your arm before he smacks your left ass cheek. “I got you, Princess. S’okay. Keep going.”
You grind yourself over his lap, knees hugging his waist as you bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Needy. Anxious. You match each other’s rhythm and it’s a dance. An effortless fluidity that brings you closer than ever before.
Then, he sucks two fingers into your mouth, and moves them between your cheeks. He grazes them over your tighter hole, gently teasing them over the other entrance before dropping them down to where his cock is fucking into your cunt. He plays with you a bit, pushing you just a bit closer while you wail—depraved—and beg for more.
“My good girl,” he praises. He spanks you again. “Fuck—that’s it, baby.”
Your staccato whimpers are consistent now. One for every thrust and you can almost taste his desperation as he turns his head in order to kiss your cheek. The sound of skin against skin is crude and delicious. The way your body slides against his. Like butter on a hot day, melting together.
He goes faster, pulls you harder. Fingers digging into your skin so hard it almost hurts. But in the best possible way. In turn, you brace yourself with a palm on his throat. Squeezing it tight as you start to get closer.
“Yeah,” he groans. “Shit…harder—”
You obey, pinching the sides of his neck until his eyes roll back.
You can feel his heart racing against yours. You’re both warm. Hot. Shaking. A tangled mess of limps and depraved grinding like animals in heat.
“M’almost…m’almost there,” you whisper.
He nods, looking down your body to watch the way your ass bounces in his hands. “Go. S’okay, go. Let me feel you.”
He leaves more kisses to your side and the tender way his lips feel against your skin makes your brain go fuzzy.
You grip his throat a bit tighter and just like that…it’s over.
The two of you cum together, the room filling with moans and gasps and promises. He settles beneath you while you ride out the rest of your high but he makes sure to keep his arm around you through every second.
Once you finally catch your breath, he hums. “God-fucking-damn.”
You grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He turns to see you. “I think I’m pregnant.”
You roll your eyes with a swat to his chest but you’re laughing. “You’re so annoying.”
“And yet you still like me.”
“I never said that.”
“You said I’m your favorite person.”
“Yeah, well, I lied.”
“Right.” He helps you ease him out before he’s flipping you around and moving himself between your legs.
You blink. “What the hell are you doing?”
He lifts two fingers and eases them along your swollen pussy. Collecting the white, sticky substance already leaking out before easily pushing it back in.
“Harry,” you scold. “I think we’ve had enough breeding for one day.”
He smirks. “Relax, Tink, m’not breeding you. I just…like to see it drip out.”
Your heart leaps. “…oh.”
“Yeah.” He rests his cheek against the inside of your thigh in order to watch. “S’always so fucking pretty.”
You reach down and card your fingers through his sweaty curls. Happy and content for the first time in days.
He looks up. “One day,” he promises, even though it sounds more like a question.
But somehow, in this moment, it makes everything else worth it.
You grin.
“One day.”
AAA I can’t believe we finally did it!! I’m not gonna lie them being soft with each other is gross 😭 BUT ALSO CUTE!! YAY PROGRESS!!
Thank you so much for reading and for always being so nice!! 🥹💞💞 and of course thank you for the amazing idea hehe
Also, if you see any mistakes……no you don’t 🫶
~ Full 404 Masterlist
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