#which we KNOW like yeah i was having an allergic reaction to the masks they have

[trebeksfault]

another day battling my sinuses

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Why the "True Selves" Theory is Insulting

Image for a second that you have a friend who's a bit of a ditz. She's also fun, creative, and sweet. You enjoy being around her, but you've never seen her as more than a friend. Then, one day, a fire breaks out at an event that you and your friend are attending. Your lives are suddenly in mortal peril and the same goes for everyone around you because you can't find the exit. You think that you're going to die.

Then, suddenly, your friend transforms. Not in a magical way, it's just a personality shift, but it might as well be magical because it's like nothing you've ever seen! The ditziness is gone, replaced by laser focus and a take-charge attitude that has everyone following your friend without question. When all is said and done, everyone lives because of you friend. As it turns out, her tendency to get easily distracted means that she's a fantastic in-the-moment problem solver.

Going through that completely changes how you see this girl. You no longer just like her, no, you're now deeply in love with her. You tell a mutual friend about this and they laugh at you, then say, "Don't be silly, that wasn't really her! Her true self isn't that brave girl who saved your life! That was special circumstances that don't count. All that counts is the way she acts when there isn't a crisis going on. It doesn't matter that you've always liked her and enjoyed her company, if you didn't fall in love with based solely on her ditzy self, then you don't really love her."

Most people would call this mutual friend insane because of course going through crazy experiences changes the way we view people! Imagine if you had an allergic reaction and your significant other's reaction was to panic and run away, leaving you to die. You only live because you manage to grab your phone and call '911.' That would understandably lead many people to reassess if this is the person they want to spend their life with just like the opposite experience might make you see a person as a good life partner.

Marinette is Ladybug. She gets full credit for everything she's done in the suit and it's perfectly fine for Adrien to become attracted to her after he sees her in action. It doesn't mean that he only values her Ladybug side. He quite clearly cares for Marinette, he just hasn't seen her in the right light for him to fall in love. (And, if we're being frank, Marinette acts like Ladybug all the time when he's not around or when he is around, but a crisis is going on. She's really not that different from her alter ego.)

Along similar lines, Marinette isn't wrong for being drawn to Adrien's sweeter side more than his over-the-top jokey side. There's a reason why Glaciator ended with her blushing. Compare the end of Glaciator to the end of Origins and, yeah, same energy because - in that moment - Chat Noir was letting his Adrien side out by being more sincere and vulnerable, which are the things that Marinette values most in a romance and the things that he rarely shows while in the mask. It doesn't mean that she hates his jokey side, it's just not going to win her heart when Adrien's right there being sweet and sincere while Chat Noir hides his feelings behind a smile and a laugh.

In fact, it's pretty insulting to Adrien to say that someone shouldn't be attracted to his more vulnerable side. That his sincerity is worth less than his jokes. Almost as insulting as telling Marinette that her Ladybug side doesn't count and she should get no credit for being brave as that's not really her. Loving her only counts if a person falls in love while she's behaving in her most over-the-top, cringe, embarrassing way.

I don't know about you, but I would never want someone to hold me to that standard nor would I hold my significant other to that standard! It's perfectly normal to have things that you don't love about your significant other. In fact, I'd argue that part of the magic of a real, lasting romance is having someone who loves you even though you're not perfect. If you are looking for a partner who never annoys you or does something wrong, then you will never find happiness because that person does not exist.

Now that I've said all of that, I want to add that I do think that marichat, "love both sides" stories can be cute. It's just not One True Path to Real Love. It's totally fine if the square starts dating based on the things that they find attractive about each other and then just continue to be in love as they learn about the other side. If anything, that's normal. Learning about a person is what dating is all about! A good relationship is no different than a good friendship, you just get some bonus perks if you're into that kind of thing.

I'll also note that I'm not criticizing stories where Marinette feels like she's the "real" version and Ladybug is the fake because that's a really understandable thing to be nervous about. Tikki saying that shit? Hard no. Terrible mentoring.

[lovemeleo]

Please write one were Asher has an allergic reaction and Sirius and Remus freak

Um so hi, surprise. I finally wrote something again. This prompt has been sitting in my ask box for god knows how long and I finally wrote it. Sorry it took so long, anon, but I hope you all enjoy. The SW world and it's characters belong to always fantastic @lumosinlove!

If you haven't read the rest of my Asher series, here's the link for tumblr and AO3!

cw: allergic reactions, talk of medicines, IVs, and hospitals

It started as a normal day, as most days tend to do. Remus got up first, doing some yoga in the living room before turning on the coffee maker to run while he was in the shower. He had this routine down pat so of course, he was ready with Sirius’s cup of coffee when the taller man came up behind him, nuzzling into his neck.

“Morning, mon loup.” Sirius mumbled, his voice still rough with sleep as his arms wrapped around Remus’s waist.

A soft smile spread across Remus’s face as he pressed the steaming cup of coffee into his fiancé's hand, “Good morning, Pads. I can get Ash ready for Lily’s if you want a shower before practice.” Remus said quietly, already hearing movement from the toddler’s bedroom.

Sirius answered with a kiss to his shoulder, looking up at him with a grin, “You’re the best, babe,” He said as he pulled away, cheekily slapping Remus’s butt before making his way to their bathroom. Shaking his head fondly, Remus turned to start getting Asher’s breakfast ready, the oatmeal cooking on the stove.

Just as he was about to go check Asher was awake, a small pair of arms wrapped around his legs from the side. Asher rested his head on his Papa’s hip, letting out a loud yawn. Remus couldn’t help the chuckle he let out, their son so much like his daddy, it was ridiculous.

“G’Morning, Papa.” Asher murmured, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake up.

Remus picked him up, resting the toddler on his hip as he finished up his breakfast, “Good morning, mon chou. Sleep well?” He asked as he put the oatmeal into a bowl, topping it off with some berries before getting him set up at the table.

The little boy hummed happily, sipping his milk as he waited for the hot cereal to cool down, “Yep! I had a dream that Harry and I were wizards and we got to battle a bunch of bad guys and we won of course and it was so cool.”

Remus chuckled, sipping his coffee as he listened to his son’s dramatic retelling of his dream, “Of course, you won. Most powerful wizards ever, obviously.”

Nodding happily, Asher started in on his breakfast as he continued to fill his Papa in on the wizarding world from his dream. He had quite the imagination and it definitely came through his dreams.

When he had finished, Remus helped him wash up and get dressed before Sirius came in with his bag for the Potter’s house. Lily always watched Asher during their practices, letting him and Harry tire themselves out together. They were the best of friends, constantly attached at the hip. When they pulled up to the Potter’s house, Lily and Harry were already waiting on the front porch, the boy already jumping excitedly as he saw their car pull up.

As soon as Asher was released from his booster seat, he was running as fast as his little legs would take him. And Harry, not one to be outdone in the dramatics department, met him halfway and slammed him into a hug.

Lily laughed, coming down off the porch to give the two men a hug, “Sorry, I’m not gonna sprint up to you two,” She said, giving them both a tight squeeze.

“Wow, I see how much our friendship means to you!” Remus teased, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Now, where’s that husband of yours? Still doing his hair?”

A loud laugh came from the doorway, James appearing with his bag thrown over his shoulder, “Yeah, you know me. Very much worried about my hair when I’m putting a helmet on.” He said, throwing his bag into their car before giving Lily and Harry a kiss goodbye.

After saying goodbye to their own little munchkin, the three men were off to practice. Today consisted of some dry land training for warm-ups before moving on to some drills. They were about an hour into their drills when Coach Weasley blew the whistle from the sidelines.

“Black! Lupin! You’ve got a call!” He yelled across the ice, his eyebrows furrowed as he held out the phone.

Knowing that calls weren’t allowed during practice unless there was an emergency, the two men were to the bench in seconds, Remus quickly grabbing the phone, “Hello?”

Lily’s frantic voice was on the other side of the phone, already talking, “Remus, I’m sorry, I literally looked away for a second, and then he was screaming. I didn’t even see-”

“Lily, take a deep breath. What’s going on? What happened?” Remus said, trying to keep his voice calm.

A shaky breath came through the speaker before she continued, “I took the boys to the park across the street like I always do, and they were on the playground. It was fine then all of a sudden, Ash let out a really loud scream. I got over there as soon as I could, but he had already hives. Harry said he had a bee on his arm and got stung. I called an ambulance, and we’re at Gryffindor hospital now in the ER. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even know he was allergic.”

Remus was already unlacing his skates, the phone held between his shoulder and ear, “It’s not your fault, Lils. We didn’t know he was allergic either. We’ll be there soon.” Quickly handing the phone back to their coach, Remus and Sirius ran back to the locker room.

In less than 5 minutes, the two men were back in their car, racing towards the hospital. “Fucking bees,” Sirius muttered, quickly pulling into the parking lot.

As soon as they were parked, both of them quickly ran into the ER, their hearts pounding in their chest as they reached the front desk, “W-We’re here for Asher Lupin-Black.” Remus said to the receptionist.

She pointed them down the hall and they were off, seeing Lily waiting in the hallway outside of the room. Lily met them halfway, Harry on her hip sniffling quietly, “The doctor is in with him right now. God, I’m so sorry. I had just gone to grab my phone to take a picture of them, Harry said they were chasing the bee. I didn’t even realize there was one by them.”

Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “Lily, it’s not your fault. He’s a kid, these things are going to happen. You got him here as soon as you could and got him help, and we’re so so thankful.”

Sniffling softly, Lily wiped at her face, “I was so scared, all I heard was him screaming. The hives spread so quickly.”

The door opened as they stood talking, a doctor coming out of Asher’s room. His eyes widened at the sight of the two hockey players, probably realizing who’s child he had been working on before giving them a small smile, “Hi there, I’m Dr. Johannis. You must be Asher’s dads.”

“Yes, how’s he doing? Is he ok?” Remus asked as he stepped forward, already itching to get into the room and see his son.

Dr. Johannis was nodding before Remus had even finished, “Asher is doing fine. He came in with anaphylaxis from what appears to be a bee sting. Luckily, due to your friend’s quick actions, we were able to get him in the ambulance and give him a shot of epinephrine. He’s doing much better already, the hives have begun to fade. We do have him on oxygen at the moment as a precaution.”

Remus and Sirius both let out a breath as if a weight had been lifted directly off their shoulders. Asher was okay.

“Can we see him?” Sirius asked, his eyes flickering to the closed door behind the doctor.

Smiling, Dr. Johannis nodded, “Yes, of course. My nurse is just in there, double-checking his vitals. We want to keep him for a little bit longer to keep an eye on him but you should be able to take him home tonight.”

After thanking the doctor, Lily urged them on without her, “Go on, he was asking for you both. I’ll text Coach so he can let the team know. I’m sure they’re all worried.” Nodding, the two of them quickly made their way into the room. Asher looked so small on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth as he watched the nurse fiddle with the monitor. He quickly turned to the door as soon as it opened, eyes quickly filling with tears when he saw his dads.

“I’m sorry!” Asher cried, his voice muffled from the mask. Remus and Sirius were next to him in seconds, pulling him as close as they could without tugging any wires or IVs out.

Running a hand gently through his hair, Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “Oh mon chou, it’s okay. You didn’t know that was going to happen.”

���We’re just glad you’re okay, bub.” Remus said, running his hand gently over the little boy’s back.

Sniffling quietly, Asher rested his head on his Daddy’s side, “We thought it was a bumblebee, and Uncle James said those are fluffy and they don’t sting and they’re nice. But it wasn’t fluffy and it was not nice.” He huffed, wiping at his face.

Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle, pulling Asher closer, “Well now you know which ones to stay away from, right?” He asked, feeling the toddler nod before he let out a loud yawn.

“Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to give you a heads-up. The medicine we gave him through the IV might make him sleepy,” The nurse said from next to them, as he headed to the door. “Let us know if you need anything.”

Remus nodded, pulling the blanket over Asher’s legs as the little boy began to doze off, “Of course, thank you so much.”

Then it was just the three of them, the only noises coming from the monitor and Ash’s soft snores.

“Well. That was fucking scary.” Remus whispered, leaning over to rest his head on his fiancé's shoulder.

Sirius snorted, his head falling onto Remus’s, “Yeah, that’s an understatement. Thought my heart was gonna fall out of my ass when Coach said we had a call.” Remus nodded in agreement, remembering the moment he heard Lily on the other side of the line.

“The team is gonna spoil the shit out of him. Like he isn’t going to have to walk anywhere for months,” Sirius continued, his hand moving to run through Asher’s soft curls.

Rolling his eyes, Remus glanced over at Sirius, “You act as though they don’t already spoil the shit out of him. Leo carried him on his back all around New York last month. Nado sneaks him treats constantly. And if Dumo brings him one more toy, we’re going to have to move to a bigger house.”

Sirius couldn’t help the large smile that spread on his face because Remus wasn’t wrong. Asher was spoiled. The team loved him, and he loved them all right back. They were so lucky to have such a supportive chosen family, and Sirius didn’t really believe in God but shit, he was grateful to whatever deity gave him this life. He had a loving fiancé, a fantastic son, and the best damn family a man could ever ask for. There was nothing better.

And when their entire house was filled with hundreds of “Get Well Soon” balloons and an entire hockey team when they got home that night, all of the worry was entirely worth it to see their little boy’s face light up the room.

[haechanokeh]

I’m right for you [pt. 3]

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ]

(you can play Die For You by The Weeknd while reading this 😌)

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning: corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

I think I’m right for you, babe. You know what I’m thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain’t workin’ ‘cause you’re perfect and I know that you’re worth it I can’t walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

today is you case presentation with mark. you were deeply affected of what happened in the cubicle but mark seemed unbothered because he was greeting you as usual. it wasn’t weird, he always greets everyone but what was really weird was your classmates. they were looking at you and it made you felt conscious, they were not saying anything but sometimes you catch them glancing at you but you brushed it off and focus on your brainstorming with mark.

yes you do dislike mark but you thank god that he's your partner. he never missed a question from your professor during case study on the other hand you're just standing beside him dumbly. you only understand the question AND the answer once mark responded. well, mark a very kind person he was, despite of answering it alone he made sure that you're included in the case saying base in y/n and my research, even lied that some are from my own research but of course not. plus, for some odd reason, your classmates' eyes were literally made you uncomfortable to the point you were having a hard time to breathe or your social anxiety attacking you. however, at the very moment, you want to give mark a tight hug for making your life easy.

the whole presentation ended. you were putting your things back to your back while standing while mark scrolling in his phone because his dad texted him asking if he could buy him some new pen. you gasped when an arm was on your shoulder, and that caught mark's attention but he hid his annoyance. 

"hey, y/n, i heard you like someone ha?" his brows were playfully raising. it was lucas, he gave mark a meaningful glance but mark smiled confusingly.

"what?" you didn't have any idea what he's telling you. 

"i heard someone saw-"

"mark!" mina suddenly appeared calling mark's name a little too loud which made lucas stop from talking. "we're going to a milk tea house, do you want to come with us?"

“y/n, come with us.” lucas pulled you closer to his body. mark was taring at lucas arm around your shoulder. you weren’t aware of mark’s expression because your mind was thinking ways to breakthrough from lucas. 

“no!” mina exclaimed. he caught everyone’s attention, and she became flustered. “i mean, we will only make her feel uncomfortable and lucas please remove your arms to y/n, she doesn’t look comfortable.” she mumbled. lucas did remove his arms from you. 

“milk tea? can we also come with you?” then the people started to surround mark. it became noisy, knowing you who’s allergic to people and noise sneaked out from the circle and left the room.

mark turned his head to look at you but you’re nowhere to be found. he sighed and forced himself to interact with his classmates.

your mother texted you that he will be away for one week because of their excursion. she left you an allowance good for one week including your meals for the whole day and transportation. you already had your dinner outside. right now you were just laying down on your favorite long sofa in your living room, watching NCT 2020 funny moments. suddenly, mark's name popped. mark is your class representative, he has access to class contacts and it wasn't that mark called you because you're always late in the class so for almost past 3 years he's the one you always contact just to inform the class that you're just late. 

wait, did i miss an announcement? you quickly left the class maybe something came up.

"hello, was there an announcement?" you directly asked

"none, just checking you. we haven't had a proper conversation awhile ago unless it's case related." 

you heart melted, he's very kind and sweet... that scares you.

"ah okay." you simply answered. it wasn't because you want to talk to him, well you really don't want to talk to him but it wasn't that he's annoying or anything- it was just you hate phone calls. you hate talking with someone in general unless it's your mom. 

"well, have you eaten yet?" he tried to save the conversation, he wanted to hear your voice longer.

"yes." it was a one-word reply. 

mark was slightly shattered because you don't seem to want to talk to him. he just thought that maybe you were tired.

"okay, goodnight."

"yeah." then you hang up. 

you returned watching youtube until you drifted into your dreamland... no it wasn't your dreamland.

you gasped and sat up as you woke from another perverted dream with mark. your chest was rising aggressively and you look down as you felt the wetness between your thighs. you raked your hands over your hair as you felt frustration and guilt. this was your second time that you dreamt of mark doing erotic things. you looked at the digital clock it was already 2 am. you groaned and stood up, you want to wash your body because the stickiness just made you feel more guilty if it stays there longer.

you entered your room and stripped, walking directly into your bathroom. you opened a warm shower and as the water trickled on your body, hands unconsciously trailing to the south. your dream was so hot, you can't lie about that. it was in the same cubicle but instead of his digits, it was his dick inside you. 

your eyes closed as you rubbed your bead slow while recalling your dream. you squeezed your left breast and imagining it was mark's squeezing it. you want something to fill your womanhood so you inserted your two fingers and thrust it. your lungs felt like being suppressed by pressure, your thrust became furious. 

"oh my- mark fuck." you moaned his name and you have never been so ashamed. it was so wrong but the feeling was so good that you weren't able to stop yourself from moaning. you felt the tension in your thighs. you knelt down and the hand that squeezing your breast was now on your clit rubbing it furiously. 

"mark! fuck right there." you felt the tension in your abdomen and your legs started to shake. your body just gave in, bending down, cheek shoved against the wet tiles while the warm water splashed on your body.

you screamed erotically, eyes rolling and lashes flickering. your legs were shaking as you reached your high.

 mark hasn't slept yet, it's okay for him because there are no classes. he was staring at the ceiling and mind preoccupied by you.

he was trying to understand why do you keep pushing him away even though you clearly wanted him too. mark did remember where you say he's very different from you, and so? what's wrong with it? what he didn't like is the thought of changing just for a single person but...

"shall i?" he chuckled bitterly. he was really close to his insanity. he feared that this affection will grow into something that is uncontrollable- like an obsession.  

he checked the time through his phone. it's 5 in the morning. he decided to jog outside, so, he took a quick shower and wore his tracksuit and running shoes. maybe if tiredness hits him, he will feel sleepy. mark already went to your house and he didn't tell you that his house is just a few blocks away from you, instead of going to his normal route, he changed it, jogging in your house direction.

when he was closed to your street, he was surprised to see you outside. he stood and admire your naturalness from afar. your hair was disheveled, your eyes weren't completely closed yet, and your face was a little puffy but it doesn't take away your beauty. plus, your cute teddy bear pajamas made him smile. he sends his gratitude to god because he created a masterpiece. 

yeah, mark is deeply in love and he thinks there's no way out of this feeling. 

you were actually waiting for your breakfast, your pancakes from mcdonalds and a warm chocolate drink. when the delivery arrived, you paid and gave him a tip for being quick. you were about to go back inside when you heard a VERY familiar voice which was owned by the person who sleep deprived you 

"Y/N!" his voice was loud, it even cracked. 

"what are you doing here?" you asked.

"morning jog, and good morning to you." he replied and greeted at the same time.

"jog.." you paused and gasped. "from your condo to here?!" you exclaimed in disbelief. mark laughed at your reaction. of course it'll shock you because you already been in his condo and if he jogged it from there to here, he was supposed to be passing out right now.

"no, my family house is actually a few blocks away from here."  he said.

WHAT?! this is not good. you thought. the more he gets closer the more he has access to your mind and body. you masked your displeased face and just nodded.

"okay, ahm. i'm heading back now. bye." you pointed at your house door and awkwardly turned your back walking towards your door.

you expected him to do something because he always do that but to your disappointment he didn't. you looked back to check if he was stil there but he was no longer standing there but you saw him jogging away from your direction. you sighed in disappoinment that made you mentally slap yourself for feeling very contradicting .

you ate miserably your affordable and favorite pancake.

mark took a bathe and go down to eat breakfast together with his parents. they prayed before eating. the cooked food by his mom made him question why your ordered delivery food for breakfast.

"how's school?" mark's dad asked him.

"good, still the same." he replied.

"your father will lead a service, you can invite your classmates. oh mina, you can invite her, she's very sweet girl." his mom said but she doesn't have any motive. she knew mark have not interest in romantic relationship as of the moment, her child was so focus in maintaining his grades and scholarship. at least, that's what he though.. if she only knew.

"i'll try." he forced a smile but behind it was growing tiredness. he knew that his classmates doesn't really want to praise but because they were so fond of mark and they just love to hang out. it defeated the purpose of going to church.

after the breakfast, mark's parent left for their work. he washed the dishes and went up stairs and stayed in his room with his music and guitar. it helped to detach his mind from thinking of you, but it was just temporary as he saw you name appeared in his phone. he almost threw his guitar just to answer your call very quick.

"y/n? why?" he sound so excited.

"ahm, mark... well.. perhaps, do you ahm, have notes from yesterdays discussion? i mean in all cases, not just ours?" you were very stuttering because of shyness. your class have long test about the cases but you're notes are everywhere and you can't understand your writings.

"yes." he said. he knew where this is going. he quickly get out from his bed and go straight to his closet, choosing shirt to wear. "do you need it? i can bring it to you."

"no, no. ahm, you do digital notes right? mind if you could send it through gdrive?" you really don't want to bother him... nah lies. you're just preventing things from happening.

mark paused for a moment and was a little hurt, he understood your statement as if you don't want to see him. but mark will not having any of that.

"it was handwritten though." he faked sorry. he hoped you didn't notice what he did there, hoping that you received it as if it was literally handwritten like directly to paper since he sounded apologetic.

"oh... i see. well, ahm, can you drop by in the house?"

mark still not satisfied by just dropping by.

"how about we study together? we can review together."

you translated it like 'the smartest in your class can help you'and that's very tempting. you can't easily study 8 cases and you need him. you used his diuretics notes in lecture, you almost aced it. now, your lab needs him.

"then, pizza is okay for you?" you whisoered from the other end.

mark secretly fist pump and grinned in triumph.

"yes."

you spayed air freshener in your living room and changed your shirt to another shirt? you only have tees just in different colors, you changed your short into black sweatpants. you made sure that your hair was far different from the hair he saw this morning. you already ordered the pizza.

the doorbell rang. your quickly opened the door for him. mark was standing, carrying his ipad and his other hand holding a two milk teas in a cup holder. he's wearing dark blue t-shirt and gray sweatpants. you smiled awkwardly and let him in. you scanned his body, looking for paper or at least a piece of paper but you didn't see any of it. mark was looking down at you, watching you observing him.

"where's your notes?" you curiously asked.

"here." he lifted his ipad. your jaw dropped.

"i thought you did not do digital notes?"

"i don't recalling telling you i didn't, i just said it was handwritten and when i saif that handwritten in my ipad." he reasoned. taht made you think later realizing that he was right and that made you dumb.

you sighed in defeat.

"by the way, bought you milk tea since you missed it yesterday." he said, you acually don't care if you missed it or not.

you walked towards the single couch and patted it.

"you can seat here." you said.

he quickly sat down and put the milk teas on top of your living room's table. he confusingly watched you when you sat on the long couch and it was the end of it. you were too far from him.

you noticed his sulking face.

"mr. mark lee, what's with your long face?" you chuckled teasingly.

"why are you too far from me?" he pouted.

"damage control." you replied shortly and get your case 3 notes which is very illegible to read. "can i borrow your case 3?"

"why? what did i do?" mark asked was clueless. he did not pay attention to your question

"mark, being alone with you is not healthy anymore." you directly answered him.

"orgasm is healthy, what do you mean?" mark didn't get your.

"mark, that's not what i mean. we're like horny teenagers doing unappropriate things."

"we're already passed in that phase in life, we're both adults." he rebutted.

you mentally face palmed yourself in frustration. why is he so smart and dumb at the same time.

"mark, that's not why i mean. we're being to touchy, every time we are left alone the next thing we knew we're touching each other. do you know how scary was that to me? it only happened twice but i am already longing for more! when i don't feel your touches i go craaazy! i even touched myself for freaking 2-" you froze when you realize what you were telling him you stared blankly at him.

on the other hand, mark was very pleased hearing you exploded from frustration as you became honest for the first time.

"you touched yourself? what 2?" he smirked and lifted his brows.

you cleared your throat.

"can i borrow your ipad? i need your case 3." you murmured and look anywhere but him your face heat up. you want to be swallowed by your favorite sofa.

"then get it."

you look at his ipad sitting on his manly wide spread apart thighs. your eyes stared at the mark that makes your knees weak and wet pussy. his fiery eyes looking directly toyou while he was sitting comfortably on the couch and arms are both in each side of the armrest.

"mark lee, i need it." you tried to use your stern voice but failed because your voice was too small.

"i told you, you can get it.. here." he glanced at his ipad.

you gulped and the living room's air became thick. your submissive self switched on and you just found yourself walking towards him. your hands felt cold as you reached for his ipad. when you lifted it, his bulge forming in his gray sweatpants made you almost drool. you were reminded how fucking hot it was.

you want to touch it and do anything you can possibly could but your single rational braincells keeping you in the light.

"you don't seem sure of what you really wanted to do." he snapped you from overthinking. "should i make you choices?"

"what?" you asked confusingly but your voice was shaking.

"you bring that ipad with you and go back to where you were sitting, or..." he looked up to you with his dark eyes, leaning a little forward you trace the side of your hips with his palm..

"put the ipad on the table and sit in my lap."

mark knew that you can never say no at this state. if you could only see how your body shivered and how defeated your face was, he knew you already gave in.

and his was right.

the original draft was deleted because of my stupidity 😭 idk think this is good as the original draft.

hello, some of you asked me if i have a tag list, i will be creating one.

✨if you want to be added in I'm Right For You Tag List, you can DM or Ask me so i can add you ✨

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Tag List:

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anyways, i would like to say thank you for supporting this story. i did not expect some of you will like it. i also want to thanks people who leaving message through dms and ask praising this story. also to those nctzens hearting it 🥺🤗

[youranxiousnerd]

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug 

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?! 

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH” 

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do. 

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears 

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home. 

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people. 

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej? 

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?” 

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug 

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro” 

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

 “and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb 

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU 

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?” 

they’re so nervous 

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right 

“Yeah” 

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke. 

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god 

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran 

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

[svnflowervol666]

Ma Petite Chérie: Sweet Creature (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Read more from this little universe, Ma Petite Chérie, in my masterlist!

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Harry goes out of town and leaves Tallulah with Y/N for the week. 

Author’s Note: Hiiiii. I decided to turn Ma Petite Chérie into it’s own little “thing,” so here’s another look at Harry, Tallulah and Y/N’s life! I’ve found it much easier to write in little blips rather than following a direct plot, so expect random little moments featuring the three of them. Also, this is not proofread and I am going through a period of having full blown insomnia, so I’m praying there aren’t too many mistakes. I hope you all enjoy and send any ideas, asks, or questions you have for them my way and I’ll be happy to respond! Take care and TPWK.

“I left her car seat in the garage. If she starts gettin’ fussy during the day, just put her in her room and turn on the noise machine and let her color - that usually does it. I refilled her medicine the other day, didn’t I-”

“Har-,” she shushed him, “We’ll be fine. I know the drill. Allergy meds and gummy vitamins in the morning, french vocabulary every other day, no tv before bed, and no sugar after six.”

He took a deep breath in and placed his palms on top of Y/N’s that are gripping his shoulders to ground him. He was a mess, but how could he not when one of the only people he trusted with his daughter, his mother, was away on holiday and couldn’t stay with her when he had to go on a week-long business trip? It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Y/N, he absolutely did. He just hated feeling like she thought he was using her as a free babysitter rather than the loving girlfriend she actually was. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but his anxieties always had a way of getting the best of him.

“Sorry. Always get nervous leavin’ her. Feel like something bad’s gonna happen every time and I won’t be there t’ help her.”

“It’s just a few days, bubs. She seems to like me, or at least pretends to. I’ll keep her entertained. Take her to the park and go get our nails done or something. It’ll be like one, big sleepover.”

“If yeh take her t’ the park, make sure yeh put sunscreen o-”

“Harry,” she’s stern and it shut Harry up immediately.

“Right,” he paused and took another intense, labored breath in an attempt to stop himself from canceling his plans and just staying home with Y/N and Tallulah for the week.

“She does like yeh. Asks about yeh all the time when you’re gone. Loves yeh a lot, actually. We both do.”

That word used to scare him, love. He realized long ago that he had only ever truly been in love with his daughter, so making himself vulnerable to sharing those same emotions with another person was genuinely terrifying. But each and every time, Y/N does something to remind him that it is well-worth the internal struggle he’s endured. 

The proud smile that adorned Y/N’s face at his words is another one of those moments. It’s full of light and reassurance that his baby will be perfectly safe and healthy while he tended to business an entire continent away.

“I love you both as well. Might have a slight preference towards Lulah, but it’s nothing to worry yourself over.”

“Swear yeh only datin’ me because of her,” Harry muttered under his breath.

“You’re absolutely right,” she scoffed, “I only come over five nights out of the week to watch The Little Mermaid with her and I just tolerate you.”

Harry laughed, a genuine cackle that reared his cavernous dimples and turned the apples of his cheeks a pale shade of pink.

“I’d do the same,” he said with a shrug.

“Harry, you’re stalling. You’re gonna miss your flight if you don’t get on the road soon. I don’t think you want me to kick you out of the door.”

He feigned ponderance and tapped his index finger on his chin.

“I do love it when yeh mean t’ me.”

“Harry, go.”

“Alright, alright. I’m leaving. Just...check in with me every once in a while. Let me know how she’s doin’, yeah? I’ll call every night t’ talk t’ her.”

“Was already expecting you to.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated.

He cleared his throat, heart weighing heavy in his chest. He knew he was supposed to leave for the airport ten minutes ago, but he couldn’t find himself to wheel his luggage out to the trunk of his car.

“Goodbye, Harry,” Y/N whispers in hushed tones.

She reached up on her tiptoes to plant a chaste kiss on his bright pink lips, which he then took upon himself to deepen by loosely wrapping his fingers around her throat and applying just enough pressure to make her contemplate giving into his obvious hesitance about leaving.

“Tell Lulah I love her when she wakes up, okay? Feel like shit leavin’ her in the middle of the night.”

“I’ll tell her first thing.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too, Harry,” she smiles, “See you in a week.”

//

Their first few days went by smoothly, a little too smoothly, Y/N thinks. She’d let her pick one activity to do each day and it seemed like to Harry and Y/N, she was having the time of her life. 

Monday was the park, an obvious choice for a toddler. Tallulah wore herself out so much that she’d gone to bed that night with no trouble whatsoever.

Tuesday was a pampering day. Y/N had tried to get them into her preferred nail salon for pedicures, but there were no empty slots so she’d made up Harry’s master bathroom to look like a spa. She painted Tallulah’s nails blue (because Tallulah said blue was her dad’s favorite color), ran her a bubble bath with more bubbles than Harry ever allowed, and even let her put on some of her expensive face mask cream (Harry nearly shit himself out of pure adoration when he received a selfie of the two of them with pink goop smeared all over their faces and cucumbers over their eyes).

Tallulah’s request for Wednesday was a trip to the carnival that was in town, in which Y/N spent nearly fifteen dollars trying to win a stuffed bear for her but was unsuccessful. They went home with a real, live goldfish instead that Tallulah named Carrot because she claimed he looked like her favorite vegetable - she told Tallulah not to mention it to Harry and that she’d break the news to him later. She even let Tallulah have sugar after six o’clock (what Harry knew wouldn’t hurt him and besides, she told Y/N that she’d never had cotton candy before and Y/N totally wanted bragging rights for introducing her to basically a two-year-old’s fever dream of eating pink clouds).

She hadn’t asked about Harry once.

It wasn’t until Wednesday night after the carnival and her bath and daily FaceTime call with him that she began to get antsy with Y/N, claiming that she wanted her dad to tuck her in and read her a bedtime story. No matter how many times Y/N told her that Harry couldn’t do that but that he would be home in a few days, Tallulah didn’t understand why her dad wasn’t there to give her cuddles and rub her back until she fell asleep like he often did. Eventually, her exhaustion caught up to her and she gave in to the need for sleep, but Y/N had a feeling that that wouldn’t be the end of her tantrum.

It was nearly eleven o’clock, and Y/N was in the living room enjoying a glass of red wine from Harry’s vast collection of alcohol that he kept in his office (for some reason he had an irrational fear that Tallulah would somehow get into it, so he kept it locked away in a room where she wasn’t allowed in). The fermented concoction had almost lulled her to into a light slumber right there on the couch in the middle of a documentary about how agriculture influenced climate change when she heard the piercing cries of a toddler coming from down the hall.

Y/N rushed towards Tallulah’s room, all effects of the wine immediately dissipating as her mind went to the worst possible scenario. She’d fallen off her bed and hurt herself, she was having an allergic reaction, there was a strange man in her room trying to kidnap her. But there was seemingly nothing wrong with Tallulah when Y/N flung her bedroom door open so quickly she almost broke the knob.

“What’s wrong, Lulah?” she asked as she approached her on the bed that sat low to the ground.

Tallulah was red in the face, covered in a thin layer of sweat, and tears continuously flowed from her bright, green eyes that looked exactly like Harry’s and even shifted a teal blue in the sunlight.

Y/N’s heart sunk when she heard it. Over and over again. Nothing else. Only crying out one word.

“Daddy.”

She didn’t want to overwhelm her, so Y/N laid down next to Tallulah and pulled her close. As she brushed her curls away from where they were matted to her sweaty forehead, Y/N cooed her reptitiously in an attempt to calm her down. After about three minutes of incesant crying and copious amounts of fat, shiny tears, Y/N needed a better idea.

“I know you miss him, bubs. I miss him too. But he’ll be home soon, okay? I know something that might make you feel better. Do you want to come in daddy’s room with me?”

It was quiet and muffled over her blubbery cries, but Y/N heard a tiny, “yes,” escape through her lips and then she was scooping Tallulah up into her arms and carrying her off to the master bedroom.

She placed her in the middle of Harry’s bed and quickly began digging through Harry’s dresser for what she was looking for. When she found it, she ran back to Tallulah’s curled up body on the mattress.

“Okay, whenever I miss your dad, I put on one of his shirts because it smells like him. It always makes me feel like he’s close to me. Do you want try that?” 

The toddler had calmed down dramatically since she’d left her own bed, most likely due to exhaustion from crying so much in such a short period of time. She gave Y/N a gentle nod and let her take off her matching set of pajamas and replace them with the shirt of Harry’s that dropped almost all of the way to her feet. It was a white t-shirt with the words “Dream Boat” screened onto the fabric, which was perhaps a bit controversial for his two-year-old daughter to be wearing, but it was the smallest shirt of his that she could find. Otherwise, it’d be falling off of her shoulders and she wouldn’t be able to move.

“Can you smell it?” Y/N bunches the fabric in her hands and raises it to Tallulah’s nose.

“Smells like daddy, doesn’t it?”

Tallulah inhaled the best she could through her stuffy nose.

“‘mells good,” she whimpered, reaching her short arms to wrap around Y/N’s neck.

“Do you want to lie in daddy’s bed with me for a little bit? You can sleep in here, if you want,” Y/N spoke softly into Tallulah’s hair while she held her.

Y/N felt a nod against her chest and that was all it took for her to climb towards the pillow with Tallulah in her arms. She laid Tallulah on Harry’s side of the bed, hoping that the extra scent he left in the sheets would further will her back to sleep.

And it worked.

After reaffirming what felt like a million times that Harry would cuddle her for an entire day straight when he got home because he missed her just as much as she missed him, her eyes slowly shut and peace took over. Y/N thought the coast was clear and a crisis had been averted, and she also remembered that she hadn’t taken her makeup off yet. So she wriggled Tallulah off of her chest and slipped stealthily out of the bed like a burglar attempting to not get caught and tiptoed away into the bathroom to wash her face.

Right when she was patting her face dry with one of the plush towels on the rack in Harry’s bathroom, she realized that the coast was indeed, not clear, and Tallulah began wailing once again.

“It’s okay, Lulah. I’m right here,” Y/N consoled the small girl that looked even smaller in Harry’s king-sized bed.

But she wasn’t interested in Y/N at all. Her sobbing was louder than the last and it was Harry’s name that fell from her weepy lips like it was the only thing keeping her alive. This time, Y/N knew there was nothing that could soothe her besides Harry himself.

“Here, baby,” Y/N wriggled the toddler out of her arms and reached over to the nightstand to grab her cell phone, “Let’s see if daddy’s awake and maybe you can talk to him again, okay?”

“Okay,” Tallulah huffed, but it sounded more like “o-tay.”

Under any other circumstances, Y/N would be awing at the way she said certain words, but now, she just wanted Tallulah to go back to sleep. She was just as exhausted as Tallulah and was starting to become overwhelmed by the nature of everything that was happening.

Harry picked up her FaceTime on the second ring, eyes wide and concerning even though Y/N could tell that her call had woken him up.

“What’s goin’ on? ‘S she alright?”

Her cries that he heard through his speaker broke his heart, and he wanted nothing more than to jump on the next flight home to hold his sweet little girl until all of the tears had dried from her face.

“She’s been crying for the last hour, Har. She wants you. Maybe talk to her a little and see if she calms down?”

She heard Harry curse under his breath and rub the sleep out of his eyes. There was a sense of relief that washed over him when he realized that everything was alright and his daughter wasn’t in any immediate danger, but he didn’t quite feel better by any means. Y/N tilted the phone down towards Tallulah who had taken to rubbing the corner of Harry’s pillowcase between her thumb and forefinger.

“Lulah, baby. Talk t’ me. What’s the matter?”

“Daddy?” her face lifted from where it was buried in her stuffed elephant that she’d had since she was a baby and looked up to see her father’s face lit up on Y/N’s phone screen.

“Hi, lovie. Why’re yeh cryin’?”

“Want you come home,” she pouted, her bottom lip jutting out in a way that made her look far too adorable for how sad she really was.

“I know yeh do, petal. I’ll be home soon. I promise. Then, we can have a big cuddle. Does that sound good?”

“You come home tomorrow?” she asked, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

Harry internally cringed when he saw her wipe it on his sheets, but he was obviously not going to scold her for it at the moment.

“Not tomorrow, but soon. I’m not goin’ anywhere for a long time after this so it’ll be just me and you for a bit.”

Tallulah grew upset by this, and understandably so. Her dad always gave her cuddles when she was sad. Why was he telling her that he couldn’t?

He sensed her tears springing back to life, to which he quickly diverted her attention away from.

“Tell me more about what yeh did with Y/N today at the carnival, bug.”

After sucking up a few slobbery breaths, Tallulah was able to speak to Harry again.

“We got a fishy.”

Damnit.

Harry’s ears perked up.

“A fishy? At the carnival? How did yeh do that?”

“Y/N gotted it.”

“She did?”

Y/N knew Harry was not only talking to Tallulah but also to her. A tone that suggested Y/N had some explaining to do, but he wasn’t going to bring that up now.

“Yeah, she winned a game.”

“Does the fishy have a name?”

“Carrot.”

This made Harry snort, as he was not expected that one.

“And did Y/N get Carrot a nice bowl and some food?”

“Mhmm,” Tallulah nodded, “He’s in the kitchen.”

“Well, that sounds lovely. I can’t wait to meet Carrot. Gonna give him cuddles when I get home, too.”

“He said he loves you.”

“That’s very sweet of him. Tell Carrot I love him, too.”

There was a long pause in which Harry, Tallulah, and Y/N all yawned, clearly overtaken by the urge to fall into a deep sleep.

“It’s really late, Lulah. Yeh think yeh can go back t’ bed for me?”

Tallulah brazenly shook her head from side to side, no. 

Harry sighed heavily, his frustration and sadness becoming all too much for him to bear. He was nervous to do what he was about to offer, but he knew it was the last resort in anyone in this scenario getting any sleep whatsoever.

“What if I sing yeh your song? Will that make yeh feel better?”

He watched as her eyes light up with a glint of joy and he knew that that was possibly the cure to everyone’s problems. 

“Peas?”

“Of course, baby. Thank yeh for usin’ yeh manners.”

Y/N laid the phone down so she could reposition Tallulah in her lap as Harry’s melodic voice began to pour from the speakers.

It was her favorite song in the entire world. No matter what was wrong or how upset she was, the second he sang the first few notes and the sound registered in her ears, Tallulah was always able to bring herself back down to earth. 

The first time he sang it to her, she was only ten weeks old, just two weeks after she was brought into his life. He first thought it was a one-off chance that the song had lulled her to sleep, but he quickly found out he was wrong and that she took a genuine liking to it. He’s always assumed it brought on a sense of familiarity and comfort to her whenever she felt like her tiny, two-year-old life was crashing down on her. 

Y/N had never actually seen him sing to her. She’d heard it a time or two through the door of her bedroom when she stayed over, but she’d never asked Harry about it. She had always let their song be just that - their song.

Hopefully, and he genuinely means hopefully, the trick works just as well as it usually does despite him not being there physically. He’s got to be up at five and he refuses to hang up the phone until his baby isn’t sad anymore.

It took a bit longer than usual, but by the second round of the chorus, her eyelids were heavy and the grip she had on Y/N’s lotus pendant had weakened. Hell, the song almost put Y/N to sleep as well. Had she not been worried sick over waking Harry up in the middle of the night and his daughter spilling the beans about the fucking fish, she would have been out well before Tallulah. She loved his singing voice, but she only ever got to hear it when he bopping along to a song on the radio or when he was really, really drunk. 

As the last few notes of the song trailed to silence, both Y/N and Harry took a peek at Tallulah through the phone screen, eager to see if she was fully asleep or just in a state of tranquility. Sure enough, she was out cold.

“I think she’s asleep,” Y/N whispered.

“Thank god,” Harry muttered, “Bloody awful, that was. She’d been cryin’ like that the whole time?”

“Pretty much. Sorry for calling so late, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“‘S alright. Honestly, I was waiting for it. When she stays with mum, I usually get a call or two just like this. By the way, was she wearin’ my ‘Dream Boat’ shirt?”

Y/N starts to chuckle but remembers there is a fragile (both physically and emotionally) child on her chest and she can’t move too much in fear of waking her back up.

“Yeah, she is. I told her I wear your shirts and sleep on your side of the bed when I miss you because they smell like you and thought it would calm her down. It kinda did, but she woke up when I left to go to the bathroom.”

“Christ,” Harry wipes his face with his large, ringed hands.

“What?”

“That’s the cutest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. I love you. A lot.”

“I love you a lot, too,” Y/N grinned.

After a brief moment, Harry talks again.

“So, what’s this about a fish named Carrot?”

Y/N grits her teeth together and sucks in a deep breath.

“Have you seen her face? I know you have. What was I supposed to tell her? No? Got that fucker on the first try after spending seventeen dollars trying to win her a stuffed animal.”

A laugh from deep within Harry’s belly reached the surface and he stifled it with his fist.

“You’ve got a point, princess.”

“I can get rid of him, if you want. I figured she’d get bored and forget about him in a few days, so it wasn’t a big deal.”

“No,” Harry insists, “Keep him. Teach her how t’ take care of him. Give her a responsibility. Maybe she’ll stop harrassin’ me about gettin’ a damn cat.”

“Already done,” Y/N smiles proudly at the camera.

“She knows we feed him in the mornings and she told me she’d help clean his bowl once a week. Even taught her how to say ‘fish’ in french.”

“Have I already told yeh that I love yeh? ‘Cause I do.”

“You did. But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

Harry took a moment to just look at her. Her eyes were bloodshot and he knew she probably felt like she’d just been to hell and back, but there, with his baby girl on her chest, she had never looked more beautiful. He was physically incapable of stopping the words that left his mouth.

“Move in with me.”

“Hmm?” she lifted her head from where it was resting halfway on her pillow and halfway on Harry’s as if to see if he really just said what she thought he said.

“Only if yeh want to. I know it’s a bigger deal because of Lulah, so I get it if yeh still want yeh space. Just...really want yeh around all of the time. And I know she does, too.”

Y/N smiled from ear to ear and placed her free hand that wasn’t holding the phone on top of Tallulah’s curls. She’d been wondering when this conversation would happen, given that she sleeps over at Harry’s more than she does her own apartment and she’d slowly taken over half of the drawers in his bathroom and three shelves in his closet; she just hadn’t expected it to come at midnight, directly after his daughter had the biggest meltdown she’d ever witnessed.

“If I say yes, will you sing to me like that every night?”

Harry blushed beet red as he breathed heavily through his nose.

“If that’s what it takes. Then, yes.”

“Think Lulah’s strong enough to help me carry some boxes?”

[activechataclysme]

TITLE: two truths and a lie.

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Ship: The Love Square - SnekMouse Rating: T [ AO3 ]

Summary:

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

-o-

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out. She, um, sits in front of me, an-and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

... Or in which warm feelings flare in chests, soft gazes are exchanged, blushes are blushed and confessions are made without even intending to.

One of their evening patrols ended with the two of them after patrol on a secluded rooftop, with beer in cheap plastic cups in each of their hands, and two half empty bottles of it between the two of them. They sat on the balustrade, feet swinging as they looked out at the city, chuckling as they played a game of Two Truths and a Lie.

Aspik found that beer, if had in, er, generous amounts , could in fact make one tipsy, as well as loose-lipped. He was sure Multimouse would’ve figured him out if she hadn’t been a little tipsy and out of it herself...

People love photographing me, I hate that they do ( She had looked at him somewhat sadly at that ) and I love shopping for my own clothes.  

My dad’s a dick, Ladybug is the uh worst and my bestfriend is a superhero. ( She had giggled uncontrollably. )

Modelling is my dream job, I enjoy piano and I love our patrols together. ( He suspected, in a very self-satisfied manner, that the flaming of her cheeks didn’t have much to do with the cold. )

…And well, If he didn’t already know Multimouse’s identity, after tonight he definitely would have....

My parents are bakers, I have a DJ friend and I’ve never dated a musician.  

I have a journalist friend, I want to be a… singer and all walls in my room are pink

Chat Noir’s hair is as soft as it looks but don’t tell him I said that ( If Multimouse wondered why Aspik was blushing, she didn’t voice that ) . I like wearing my hair in pigtails and I’m allergic to marigolds. (Hard, because Aspik couldn’t possibly say that he’d seen her eat marigolds; he never questioned it of course.)

“Your previous suit design was awful, I love rose macarons and Chat Noir’s puns are amazing,” she giggled.

Aspike let out an amused snort. “You love rose macarons. And you love Chat Noir’s puns. So the lie obviously, is about my suit. My suit was the best .”

Multinouse giggled harder, cheeks flushed pink under her mask. The beer must be really getting to her, he thoughts, watching as she took another sip. “ False ,” she declared. “Chat Noir’s puns are awful .”

Aspik huffed. “My suit was just fine , little mouse.”

“Sure, snake boy,” she snorted.

“I’ll have you know I’m an expert on fashion,” he sniffed.

“I’m sure you are, Mr. Celebrity,” she laughed.

Multimouse reached over to ruffle his hair, laughing harder at his petulant look as he attempted to flatten his hair. Just as he was attempting to straighten his bangs, he caught her soft blue gaze on him. She was smiling at him warmly, almost a wistful expression on her face.

“What is it?” he asked, tilting his head.

She shook her head, almost as if she was snapping herself out of something. The softness left her face and she gave him a weak smile. “Your turn,” she said, downing her cup.

He watched quietly for a few moments, as she hastily refilled her cup. He cleared his throat and looked away, training his eyes on the city lights.

“I’m thankful to have you in my life and that we’re friends, your suit is super cute, grey and pink? Very you . And uh…” he floundered, when he sensed her wide-eyed blue gaze. “I… Uh, hate passionfruit?”

He heard her let out laughter, and he couldn’t help but turn to look at her. “You don’t hate passion fruit,” she giggled.

He snorted. “Well, how would you know? Maybe your suit is not cute. Maybe you’re not my friend.”

“You’re so silly,” she laughed. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you scarf down the passion fruit macarons I bring occasionally…”

“Well, only a fool would dislike those,” he said petulantly. “I can tell they’re baked with love,” he added teasingly, wagging his eyebrows at her.

She blushed and looked away, nervously patting one of her space buns. “...Er, well, m-my suit is amazing . I only ever wear top notch fashion, th-thank you very much.”

He grinned. “I’m sure you do.”

“And I… We’re…” She seemed to inhale deeply, before her gaze flickered over to his, a little wistful. “Friends. I know we are. You make sure to let me know.” She laughed, though it sounded a little hollow to his ears. “Everyday.”

Her eyes widened a fraction and she chuckled nervously. “I mean, everytime we patrol.”

Aspik frowned at the distant look in her eyes and the nervous fidgeting of her hands. He scooted a little closer to her and hesitantly took her hand in his. She stiffened, but only for a moment before relaxing again with a gentle sigh. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re friends,” she said softly, and added almost as if to herself. “I’m happy we’re at least that.”

“Me too,” he said, before adding gently. “Your turn.”

“What? Oh, um right,” she said, and he felt her fidget lightly before settling down.

“I’ve been crazy in love with a boy for years,” she started, and Adrien froze. How had he forgotten about that . “I need to get over him, because I know he doesn’t see me that way...”

“He’s an idiot,” huffed Aspik, illiciting a startled laugh out of her.

“He’s not,” she said. “He’s the smartest, sweetest and kindest person I’ve met. Second only to maybe Chat Noir.”

“So Chat Noir is first , huh?” preened Adrien.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” she laughed. “It won’t do his ego any good.”

“Pfft,” said Aspik dismissively. “He’s the humblest hero of them all.”

“Sure,” said Multimouse, rolling her eyes.

“But we digress,” said Aspike. “This debate is on hold until further notice.”

“Whatever you say, li’l snek.”

They were silent for a few minutes before Aspik finally cracked. “You only said two things.”

“What?” she asked, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him.

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“Hm,” she hummed, looking away again before letting out a soft self-depriciating laugh. “It’s going to be so easy to?”

Aspik wrapped a hand around her shoulder to tuck her further into his side, because what an idiot of a guy.

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

Adrien felt his breath rush out of his lungs, as the world shifted in his mind’s eye. Like a fast replay of everything with a new filter, and he felt his chest start to warm. He tightened his grip around her and pulled her tighter against him.

He cleared his throat. “Have you, um, tried asking him out?”

“Only a hundred times,” she laughed. “It’s always gone wrong. Maybe that was for the best anyway. He doesn’t… He doesn’t see me like that.”

“And how do you know that? If you haven’t asked him out?”

“He says that we’re “just friends” at least once a week.” Marinette snorted. “I am starting to think that’s his way of gently letting me down without really having to reject me. He values friendships too much for that, I think.”

“You should really not make presumptions,” he said nervously, heart racing.

“Pretty sure I know what I’m talking about, Aspik. I’m sure I know what I’m talking about.”

“Including his feelings?”

“Feelings he’s made pretty clear,” she said as she drew circles on the back of his hand.

Aspik sighed, feeling like he was on the precipice of losing something he hadn’t even known he had. He really, really did not want to let go.

“My turn,” he said quietly. “I… There’s this… girl.”

Multimouse seemed to deflate a little next to him, which he couldn’t help but find a little perplexing. But he trudged forth.

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

“Well, that’s kind of obvious, snake boy,” she sighed. “I don’t see what you have to be scared about…”

“She… I found out only today that she’s trying hard to move on from me.”

“That means she still does have feelings for you.” Her voice was smaller than he’d like, almost a breathy resignation to it. “You should ask her anyway. I can’t imagine anyone saying no to you.”

“Yeah?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder, her gaze warm, smile fond. “Yeah.”

Aspik hummed. “Even you?”

“Of course! I just told you I- Well, I- I mean, if-if it weren’t for that guy I told you about, then um, yes. Definitely. For sure. Yep.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I’ll leave a note on her desk when school re-opens after Winter Break. With a bunch of flowers.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d like that,” sighed Multimouse.

“Actually, maybe not,” he amended thoughtfully. “She sits right behind me, so it’ll be hard for me to see her reaction. And she’s a little prone to easily freaking out,” he chuckled fondly. “Maybe I should enlist my bestfriend’s girlfriend for help. Those two are bestfriends, you know, and she’s a schemer, that one. What do you think I should-”

He stopped when he realised Multimouse’s head wasn’t against his shoulder anymore. He turned to see that she was staring at him with wide eyes, head tilted curiously

“Did you say that she sits behind you? Like right behind you?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh,” she muttered. “Y-You said that she has feelings for you. And that you found out she was trying to get over them.”

Adrien unfortunately had always been just a little slow on the uptake. So he chuckled a little. “Yeah, found out today, in fact.”

“ Today ?”

“Yep, today.”

“She told you herself, did she?”

He really should have noticed the careful neutrality in her tone.  

“Yes, actually,” he nodded vigorously. “But you seem to think there’s still hope, so I… Wait a second .”

He whirled on her, eyes narrowed, to find that she was studying him too.

“Do you…. Know ?” she asked first, eyebrows set in a wary pinch.

Aspik hesitated before leaning closer to her, almost nose to nose now bodies twisted to face each other. He turned completely to her in a moment, one leg folded, the other hanging off the ledge of the roof.

“Do… you know?”

“I asked first, mon é cailles .” The slight twitch of her eye gave away her faux serious facade though.

He smirked as he wrapped a hand under her knee to tug her closer, while her hands came up to hold his shoulders so she could stabilize herself. “Can’t argue with that logic ma petite souris ,” he chuckled, face towering over hers. “But I’m afraid I have the upper hand here.”

With that he kissed the corner of her lips ( Her. Lips. ), just as he decided to hell with it and tugged her onto his lap ( Oh, my god! ) fully.

“A-Aspik!” she squeaked as he looked up at her affectionately, before pressing a kiss to the other corner of her mouth.

“Multimouse,” he said, now his hands wrapped around her hips, zero room between them.

She was watching him with parted lips, face flaming, while her expression was of utter disbelief. Hesitantly, her hand went up to trace his mask, before it settled on cupping his cheek. Blushing, she looked at him with soft eyes before leaning slightly and kissing the apple of his cheek.

“How… How did you find out?” he asked quietly, as she started to draw back.

She looked panicked for a moment before relief seemed to wash over her.

“The game sort of gave you away,” she admitted, not meeting his eyes as one of her hands snaked ( snaked , heh) over his chest and over his shoulder so she could play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Um, so what gave me away?” she asked shyly.

He froze for only a second before thanking the gods for having Marinette herself present the answer to him.

“The game,” he grinned.

She groaned before deflating in his arms ( In. His. Arms!!! ), forehead resting against his shoulder.

“I knew the beer was a terrible idea,” she whined. “It made us too loose-lipped!”

“Beg to differ,” said Aspik. “Best idea you’ve had, I think.”

Multimouse giggled. “Maybe.”

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Hm?”

“I do love you, you know. I meant that.”

She was quiet for some time before she finally drew away from him to look him in the face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes, dancing with a pure sort of happiness that made his heart burst with joy. She kissed his forehead, and then the tip of his nose, making his face heat up with anticipation.

As he watched, her eyes flickered to his lips, before she looked away nervously, biting her lower lip with worry. Adrien’s heart warmed - what, was this the hundredth time just that night? - and he brushed the tip of his nose against her chin.

“You know, you keep doing that and I might just kiss you,” he said teasingly.

He laughed softly as the tips of her ears turned red. “Well, you won’t hear me complain, mon écaille irisée ,” she muttered.

And well, so he kissed her. She seemed frozen in shock for a fleeting second before melting against him. Her hands locked around the nape of his neck as she pulled him closer, an almost mind-numbing tug at the base of his skull as she tilted his head back to get a better angle. He decided then and there that he wouldn't complain if they never stopped. He tried his best to cull the purr building in his throat because that would be dead giveaway, and wondered briefly if he'd develop snake-like tendencies as well if he wore the miraculous long enough. His teeth grazed her lower lip, where hers had been less than thirty seconds ago, and he bit it gently, greedily swallowing the moan she let out.

They finally parted for breath, and her buns sat skewed on the top of her head, messed up and unkempt, some strands straying loose and falling on her as she stared at him.

“You know, no one’s ever called me iridiscent before,” he said, eyes dancing with mirth as he swept back some of the loose hair off her face.

“Shut up, nicknames aren’t really my forte,” she pouted, leaning into give him another peck against his lips.

“No, I love it,” he assured her, making her look down at him again. “Will you promise to call me that forever?” he asked teasingly, an eyebrow quirked with mirth.

Everytime he thought she couldn’t turn any redder, she proved him wrong. And he loved her for it.

“You’re too much,” she complained. “You and Chat have been spending too much time together!

Adrien only laughed. “But you looooooove me.”

“Yeah I do.”

“I’m glad you didn’t get over me,” he said quietly.

Her smile faded and she looked at him fondly. “Thanks to you, you don’t make it easy, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” he chuckled.

[vtforpedro]

health update - long post

hi everyone! I think it's been a month and a half or so since my last update I saw a rheumatologist, had MRIs done, and got my results back from my hematologist SO cancer: still undetectable in my blood, check every 3 months and hope it doesn't show up for a long time lol \o/ I don't think I can say I'm in remission until a certain amount of time has passed but I hope I can say that one day MRIs: actually show some possible improvement with the chiari and spinal fluid flow? and if there IS improvement (like the radiologist who wrote the report had the MRI from a year ago as reference and his findings were all 'normal' compared to april 2020, but it was hard to get an answer out of my neurologist and neurosurgeon if there was solid evidence of physical improvement). but yeah IF there's improvement, that is highly indicative of IIH because my neurosurgeon told me when people with IIH lose weight, the chiari often corrects itself because there's less pressure and more room in the skull for the cerebellar tonsils to be in a normal position. regular chiari that you're born with doesn't do that lol so if there IS improvement with weight loss, then yeah, IIH. even if they don't wanna put in the diagnostic code for it without a lumbar puncture sigh lol I hate typing this because I'm so paranoid it'll all go to shit if I talk about it, but there have been improvements as I've lost weight. I seem to have a couple weeks where my head isn't so severe, mostly manageable with a few awful days. then I'll have a few weeks of it being Really Really bad with a few not-so-awful days. which IIH can do this sort of 'remission' thing but considering it was like 24/7 with no breaks for a year I'd say this is moving in the direction I want it to completely changed my diet a handful of months ago and adjusting it still to be even healthier/more fulfilling. I started using the Noom app (paid sub version) cause it's so focused on psychology instead of 'dieting' and building habits that are sustainable in the long, long-term. I really love it so far. the routine of doing it at the same time every day has already made me feel better mentally about my weight loss journey despite my struggles with losing weight, I am officially down 20lbs \o/ they say for improving/curing IIH, you need to lose 10-20% of your body weight. well, 10% down! time to lose another 20, but I don't find it intimidating and I'm not dreading it. it's hard to have hope, especially on really bad weeks, but I'm taking it one day at a time. definitely not cured but I'm aiming for 40lbs more (so 60 altogether) and by then, maybe, just maybe.... rheumatologist/autoimmune disorder results: so I went to a rheum cause I got that positive autoimmune disorder blood test with the possibility of lupus or scleroderma. she said that she gets so many hematology patients because leukemia and lymphoma have blood antibodies, so it will almost always show up as positive on this antibody test and most people actually won't have an additional autoimmune disorder. I don't have a lot of symptoms of lupus or scleroderma according to her, so she told me don't worry about autoimmune disorders for three months. don't think about them. we'll repeat labs then and see what they say. so that's good news so far and I hope it remains that way 15%+ of the population will test positive on the same test without having any health issues, which I found interesting. and I asked since I already have an autoimmune disorder, tho it's endocrine versus rheumatic, if that would also trigger a positive result and she said yes it would! so yeah... I hope by late July I can still say I don't have an additional autoimmune disorder I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow for the bloating/abdominal pain and other stuff I've been having. I have a feeling I'll be given some antacids (or w/e they're called when it's prescription strength) and that will improve. but jfc I'm up to eight specialists now lol NINE doctors are following my health god it's such a shitty feeling especially when I can barely trust any of them. at

least they all believe me now, but it cost me my quality of life and mental health to even get to this point so I'm still feeling pretty fucking bitter and angry about it all you know what's really hard about completely changing my diet + starting new medications/supplements? for some reason at the beginning of all of this when I was experiencing repeated trauma at the ER, my brain developed a phobia of allergic reactions, despite the fact that I've never had one for food/medicine (I'm talking anaphylactic reactions). so now every single new thing I eat, every new med or supplement, I go through panic attacks for days on end thinking I'm going to die before it starts easing. also, anxiety makes your throat feel like it's closing up and that it's harder to breathe already so lmao fun times. I literally never thought about this in all my life and I never even experienced an allergic reaction to develop this intense fear, so you know. fuck doctors for putting me through this when it was all so unnecessary sigh anyway. still can't watch videos, tv, movies, read, bend over, walk for longer than 5 minutes, and can't talk for long either because it'll trigger a head episode. I'm terrified I won't be able to do these things ever again, but I'm still aiming for my goal weight no matter what and I know I can get there bouncing between misery and hopelessness, and slightly less misery and some hope right now, but I guess that's better than it's been for a year, right? sorry for rambling. I feel like a lot has gone on but I've also had the biggest gaps between doc appts in a while which is a relief just because I can't stand being in medical buildings or around doctors anymore completely vaccinated too, so that's another relief, but I'm wearing masks until americans get their heads out of their asses and we start seeing little to no community spread cause I am still immunocompromised. wouldn't it be nice if people like, idk, cared about each other ok sorry! I hope you're all well and healthy and safe. I love you very much and I'm grateful for your support, forever and always! <3

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

when toni and shelby reunite and toni compliments shelby’s buzz cut and shelby blushes then what

you: here’s a cute prompt of shelby and toni reuniting :)

me: thx! here’s a 1.4k meditation on solitary confinement and paranoid schizophrenia, tw for all that stuff.

you: did you get dumped again or something

Solitary, Shelby knew, was decided to be an inhumane punishment by the pilgrims in the 1600s. They originally thought criminals would take the time to study the bible and reflect on their misdeeds. Instead, well meaning judges would open the cell doors after even the shortest of sentences and find a wholly different person than the one they locked in there. 


There were a number of physical manifestations solitary can cause. A shrunken hippocampus, Shelby was pretty sure was one. Or perhaps that was just general trauma. She couldn’t remember. 


She was pretty sure having difficulty remembering things was another effect of trauma.

But there was other stuff too: insomnia, damaged speech patterns, mood swings, hallucinations, delusions, to name a couple.

See, in the ninth grade they read of Mice and Men and had to research mental health practices in that era. It was a group assignment and while others researched electro-shock therapy and lobotomies, Shelby was put on solitary confinement. It was a reoccurring nightmare for years after, just sitting in a room alone. Alone. Alone.

The “reintegration” therapy her father put her through in junior year was what later Martha would call “love-bombing.”

“It’s a cult thing,” Martha explained. “They get you involved by being like—the nicest ever. Like nicer and more social than any group of people ever normally would be.”

“Baby girl, how do you know so much about cults?” Fatin asked.

Martha shrugged. “Netflix documentaries.”

So the Bible sessions were mostly her father praying for her mortal soul, holding her, telling her how much he loved her, and getting others in the church to do the same. And it made her nightmares worse, her alone with her mind in that big empty room.

Loss made her fear that much more palpable, she supposed.

The real thing, the real and actual thing of being locked in her room, was not what she had imagined.

For one it was worse. Even with Dr. Faber coming in at least once a day she found herself confronting a migraine regularly. Voices faded in and out and a few times she caught Becca whispering for her to end it. She was sure the place was infested with mice but despite her turning over her bed and destroying her room, she never found pellets.

The worst was before they decided to break out. She had jolted up from her bed, bugs crawling all over her body, eating her alive.

She had scraped her skin raw, desperately hoping her panic hadn’t shown on camera.

After her allergic reaction, Dr. Faber no longer came to see her. She heard Young walk by on occasion, but she could no longer trust her hearing.

She didn’t know how many days passed, maybe it was a week or so, before the sounds of dozens of footsteps slammed through hallways and her door fell off its hinges beneath a military grade boot.

There was a lot of shouting and commands, so many hands touching her, around her, a shock blanket wrapped around her shoulders, people wearing white with red crosses asking her questions she couldn’t understand, the pounding of the ocean in her ears, struggling to find air, like everyone around was using too much.

A slight pinching in her arm told her it was done.

When she woke up again she was in a new room, lights dimmed like it was night, and two figures sat on either side of her.

Her hands told her the sheet was a different one, her eyes told her the room was a different one, hell even her memory was happy to recount what was more than likely a rescue. None of it was real, none of it was—

“Shelby?” One of the figures stirred. They got to their feet and took her hand, interlacing their fingers. “Hey.”

Reasonably, Shelby could deduct from the brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and dimpled smile that it was Toni. It could’ve been Becca wearing a mask, but it was likely Toni.

“Toni?” She asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah,” Toni said. “It’s me.” She smiled. “I missed you.”

“What’s happening?” Shelby asked.

“We got rescued, again,” Toni said. “The actual FBI came and fucked shit up. They got you but said you passed out from the stress, so we’re sitting in a hospital in California. Apparently we weren’t far.”

“California?” Shelby asked.

“Yeah,” Toni said. “By the bay actually. Near where Leah lives. I think.”

“Oh,” Shelby said. She tried to sort through her mind but it felt more cluttered than usual. “The others?”

“Leah had a similar thing, so she’s in a different room with Fatin keeping an eye. Rachel’s getting her hand looked at and Nora and Martha are with her. And Dot’s over there.”

Toni nodded at the other person in the room who chose that moment to stand up.

Dot asked her a question and Shelby tried to think of an answer. Toni was still holding her hand and with both of them in the room it was hard to remember which one to look at. Should she look at either? She should look at the person talking, that she remembered, but if neither were talking who was she supposed to look at?

“Shelby,” Toni squeezed her hand.

Shelby looked at her, “Yeah?”

“Dot asked you about your haircut,” Toni said.

Shelby had shaved it so the bugs that had woken her up wouldn’t get caught in it. She told the nurse it was a new look.

“Oh,” Shelby said. She kept her eyes on Toni. “You like it?”

Toni smiled. “Fuck yeah. It’s really you, you know?”

A heat rose to Shelby’s cheeks. It hadn’t been, before Toni said it, but there was a look in her eyes, and in an instant it was the truest thing there ever was. Toni was always able to see beneath the bullshit and—and she did look real in a way she never had with the haircut. She felt like she had nothing to hide. Not anymore.

“Yeah dude,” Dot added. “You look badass.”

“Thanks,” Shelby said. “How are—how are you two doing?”

“We’re okay,” Dot said. “Glad to see your ugly face again.”

“When you didn’t show up after the—after that stupid fucking plan—“ toni looked away. “I was worried.”

“Show up?” Toni asked.

“Yeah the—they let us all hang out, a week or so after Leah tried to escape,” Toni said. “They told us you were recovering but…”

“No it was just—it was just a punishment,” Shelby said. She tried to think. “Wait, what—what day is it?”

“November fifteenth,” Dot said. “You and Toni missed couples costumes for halloween.”

“Shut up,” Toni told her and “Shelby, are you okay?”

Oh, her fingernails had been digging into Toni’s hand. “Sorry.” She had been alone for months. Months.

Hadn’t been that bad, could barely remember it.

Difficulty forming new memories is an unfortunate side effect of solitary confinement.

Months of her life. Months.

Toni stood over her, saying something in garbled English. Shelby tried to focus on her, and decided it wasn’t quite worth it and that she’d prefer to pass out. She was tired from passing out earlier, anyway.

Toni didn’t let her, forcing her to breathe in and out, keeping her eyes focused and steady until the pounding of the ocean receding into the same dull pain she was used to preceding migraines.

Toni kissed her forehead, and her cheek is warm and damp from tears. She dragged a chair and settled beside Shelby, so they were on equal ground. Dot was no longer in the room, and Shelby tried to figure out if she left while Shelby was suffocating or after, and how long Shelby’d been dying with Toni trying to reteach her how to breathe.

They’d been separated for months, the two of them. Were they still—this was embarrassing right? Sobbing and dying in front of the girl you liked. Shelby was pretty sure they had said I love you but she was accounting for the months of separation.

“Nothing else is gonna happen,” Toni told her. She pressed a kiss to Shelby’s hand. “Fatin’s gonna buy us a big ass house with her one-percenter money, we’re gonna get our GEDs and maybe go to college, and we’re gonna sleep on a bed not made of sticks together. Every single night until we die.”

Shelby closed her eyes, nodding. “Hold me to it?”

“I won’t do anything else.”

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Called to the Office~

Au: Kaishi

Part: Eighteen

Theme: General/Comedy

Little fingers scrambled on the semi-sticky screen as the digital fruit played a slicing animation just before the boy sighed in annoyance. His dad has been in this meeting since 4 p.m. and he’s been stuck out in the hall watching Mimic and Hojo stand guard while simultaneously baby sitting him. If it weren’t for you being out with Pops today, he would just go cuddle up into your side. Kaishi groaned and turned the pad off before tucking it into it’s designated case and standing up from the his crisscross position on the ground. “How much longer is daddy going to be in this boring meeting uncle Mimic???” The beanie baby (lmao) looked up to see hopeful, large golden eyes peering down in desperation. “Eh look kid, it’s already almost 5:45. It’s gonna be alright.” Mimic tried to reassure him while Hojo just nodded off to the side. “When is daddy going to let me join him in a meeting? He said it himself, that I’m supposed to take over when he stops working like grandpa did for him. I’m old enough now to go to meetings too. It’s boring sitting here just listening through the wall.” Kaishi continued complaining. Hojo chuckled and Mimic sighed. “Hey I wouldn’t rush it. Your daddy hates the shit too, so I know you would.” Suddenly the kid gasped and Mimic instantly regretted it. “Uncle Mimic, that was a curse word.” Hojo was holding in as much laughter as he could while the boy kept a finger pointed down at Irinaka. “A curse word is just uhh...it’s just like a sentence enhancer. Yeah that’s it!”

“Sentence Enhancer?”

“Sure kid, aint you ever seen that one episode of SpongeBob?” Kaishi paused to think about Mimic’s words, his little finger pointing into his chin as he thought before gasping. “Oh yeah I remember! But I can’t remember how it ends. I just remember dolphin noises!” Hojo at this point was gasping for air while Mimic sighed in relief. “Look kid, I’ve said worse than ‘shit’ when I was your age. You just gotta make sure nobody catches you saying it and you’ll be fine.” Mimic dismissed it...Which was a mistake. Kaishi took it so literally that he was practicing in the mirror that night after he finished brushing his teeth. Over and over the boy kept whispering “shit, shit, shit...” as if it were a prayer of some sort. His plan was to be the first kid in his class to start saying it. Maybe then he would be seen as cool by the other kids. Maybe then the kids would stop targeting him and singling him out due to his ties with the yakuza. Maybe then he could even impress his little friend Ishida? 

He squealed into his pillow and blushed at the thought of it before rolling over and settling in for bed. Before he knew it, the big day had come and his confidence was through the roof. In fact, the entire day went well for the first half until a teacher overheard him in cafeteria saying: “I don’t know why they keep serving us this nasty shit.” Next thing he knew, he was sitting in the office with his eyes facing the ground, kicking his feet in the chair and waiting for you and Kai to show up...

------------------

“It’s rare that they bloom during this time of the year.” You spoke while leaning down and getting a closer view of the plants by the Koi pond. Kai stood faithfully by your side, googling info on the plants when suddenly Pops called from the edge of the porch. “Hey you two might wanna pack up gardening hour because the school called and requested for you to come and get my grandson from the office!”

“What????” Both of you said in unison. You quickly swiped the keys and Kai groaned in frustration as he dawned his beaked mask in favor of his simple black one. “I swear this had better not be some sort of discrimination again. Haven’t we already dealt with enough of this in the past?” He complained in the car while you focused on driving. “Chisaki it could be anything. Don’t forget about the times he came home banged up from fights. Or what if it’s something really bad like he had an allergic reaction to something he didn’t know he was allergic to?!” Kai reached out to gently stroke your shoulder and calm you down while you drove. “It could be any number of things but I suppose it’s better if we keep calm until we get there.” He spoke and you tried to calm down. Once on premises you both jetted down the halls into the office, scaring the front desk lady at the way the door urgently jutted open. “Chisaki I presume?” She asked and you both nodded. “He’s in there.” She pointed at the principle door and you entered first. 

“What is the meaning of it this time.” Kai grumbled while you squatted down next to the chair to check out your baby and ensure he was safe. “Well today one of Kaishi’s teachers caught him speaking in a derogatory way by saying, and I quote: “Shit”. Apparently we have a few witnesses that say they heard him say it over and over but they weren’t quite sure until earlier. I’m sure you both know the consequences of this, but I’m willing to let it slide since he’s a fairly well behaved boy under normal circumstances. I will however have to remove him for the rest of the day. I trust you two will follow through with discipline at home yes?” 

“Oh you don’t have to worry about that.” Kai spoke darkly. You could only stand to side and look with a disappointed look as your child looked up at you to at least show mercy. The car ride home was silent with tension so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Once the car was parked, Kaishi quickly gathered his things and ran into the house before you and Kai could even take your seatbelts off. He sighed and looked at you flatly. “No bargaining, Angel.” You frowned and reluctantly nodded. “Kai please just go easy on him at least?” You begged and he sighed in reply before getting out of the car. To say the least, you had to watch your son become the personal maid for the house carrying on for almost 3 weeks while Mimic got a pay dock when Kai found out he was the influence behind this. Safe to say Kaishi abstained from cursing until he was at least 18 out of fear that his father was listening somewhere somehow.

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

[trebeksfault]

getting blood work done for my surgery and the results seem to be: congrats you have ehlers danlos

[desert-dyke]

Pollen

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Fallout New Vegas Relationships:

Craig Boone/Arcade Gannon

Craig Boone & Female Courier

Characters:

Arcade Gannon

Craig Boone

Female Courier

Additional Tags:

Sex Pollen

Anal Sex

Frotting

Blow Jobs

an assortment of fun sexual favors

Strangers to Lovers

bottom boone

Smut

lil fluff at the end

Arcade and Boone are sent to survey Vault 22 only to discover some plant life there has some interesting side effects...

Arcade’s eyes wandered across various equipment in the lab. Not as nice as what he had to work with while with the Followers, but a lot better than other factions could brag. Sloan was talking to one of the scientists. He sort of zoned out by now. She was far from the brightest crayon in the pack and sometimes it was better not to hear her “brilliant” takes. He could tell a deal was being made. An exchange of caps promised. Yeah that always caught Sloan’s attention. “How do you feel about going to Vault 22?” Sloan asked, giving him that smile that suggested she wasn’t really asking. Arcade blinked. He promised to follow her and give her support, but he did not like where this was going. He could have sworn he heard something about someone disappearing, and research needing to be reacquired. It was the former part that unsettled him. “It’s got plants! You like that sort of thing,” Sloan appealed. 

“Why can’t you go?” Arcade asked. Sloan’s sunburnt shoulders rose and fell again. 

“I’ve got other business here.” 

Arcade rolled his eyes. He had noticed the way her eyes seemingly glazed over when Corporal Betsy was talking to her. It was so characteristic of Sloan to ditch him to flirt with whatever pretty lady they encountered. He remembered losing her for nearly two days in Westside, only to find her holed up in the Thorn. Apparently her and Red Lucy got pretty close during that time. 

“I’m not going alone,” he asserted. He could protect himself just fine, but if already someone had disappeared, Arcade did not want to add himself to the body count.

“Take Boone with you,” Sloan suggested. He couldn’t believe his initial reaction then but he actually preferred Sloan to Boone. It wasn’t that he was unfriendly towards the rest of Sloan’s friends. She definitely had interesting tastes when it came to making friends. Cass was a bit rough and rowdy. Raul was a sarcastic pushover. Lily was sweet and doting on Sloan, but he was certain she could and would snap him in half. But Boone? He was just quiet. In all honesty, Arcade didn’t know what to think of Boone. Not knowing his deal made Arcade cautious of him. 

“Why Boone?” He questioned. Sloan shrugged again, but she was a terrible bluff. He could tell by the twitching corners of her mouth. She had her reasons, but she wasn’t going to tell him them.

“I’m tired of him moping around the 38,” she made the excuse. “Take him out. Show him a good time.” Her arm wrapped around Arcade’s shoulder. She was much shorter and had to pull him down to her height in order to do so. Arcade didn’t fight against it. “There’s a nuka cola quantum in it for you…”

“I could buy myself my own,” Arcade said. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his way out of Sloan’s hold. It hurt to bend like that. “Fine.”

Getting Boone to talk was like pulling teeth. On one hand, there was some peace to that. Boone was just about the only one at the Lucky 38 who didn’t try to probe Arcade for some history. He had the inkling that Boone genuinely did not care, whereas every one else only further inspired them to pry. 

The silence began to wear on him after an hour of walking in it. Boone’s sun-shaded eyes darted along the desert expanding before them, on the lookout for any sign of trouble. He accepted that silence in this case meant stealth and cover from any wasteland creature who might do them harm. Yet the sound of wind whistling across an empty desert kept making Arcade look over his shoulder, thinking he heard the sound of voices. 

Boone raised a clenched fist, his arm forming a right angle. Arcade crawled to a stop, unholstering his pistol. Boone had his rifle trained on an enemy hidden from Arcade’s view. He tried to squint his eyes, shading them from the scorching sun, but all he saw were dancing waves of heat. 

Arcade jumped as Boone’s rifle fired. A hand accidentally touched the sniper’s back and was quickly brushed off with a grunt. 

“What was it?” Arcade asked. Silence. Was he annoyed at his touch? Arcade sucked a breath in, but before he could speak, his ears rung with the sound of the rifle discharging. Boone fired twice more before standing. Arcade remained crouched for a moment longer, trying to process what happened. Boone began walking, indifferent to whether Arcade was following or not. He hustled to catch up with Boone. Finally, he saw something in the distance, coming from between the mountains. It looked overwhelmingly green. 

Something crunched beneath Arcade’s tread. He looked down with disgust at the oversized insect he stepped on, it’s insides now covering his shoes. This must have been what Boone had seen and taken out long before it would even know they were there. His finger searched for the trigger of his plasma pistol, resting just in case there were any more nearby. 

“Area’s clear,” Boone said. Whether that was meant to be reassuring was lost on Arcade. He checked the crudely drawn map he had been given, aligned it with surrounding landmarks. A red x marked the spot, in a small alcove of the mountain range, confirming what Arcade already knew. The green was where they needed to go. 

It was even more overwhelming the closer they got. Vegetation was sparse in the mojave and what did was hardy and prickly. Not soft with fanlike waxy leaves, something he’d expect to see in the jungle, not here in the desert.  

“I’m no botanist, but that doesn’t seem entirely natural,” Arcade remarked. He looked towards Boone, still silent. He lead the way, rifle in his hands. The vegetation grew denser the further they wandered into the alcove. It’s source was covered in it, so that Arcade almost didn’t recognize the entrance to vault 22. He was afraid to brush against the plants, unsure of what effects they might have. He had an antivenom on him, which could possibly work if something was poisonous, but wasn’t definite. However, if it triggered an allergic reaction, they would be plum out of luck. 

Boone sauntered ahead without the same caution. Arcade hissed in a breath watching the skin of his arm touch a plant, expecting blistering welts to rise moments later. When nothing happened and Boone continued on ahead without him, Arcade relaxed only slightly and followed him into the vault. 

Despite the lack of soil, the plants had no problem growing on the metal of the vault floors, walls, ceiling, literally anywhere he looked there was growth. Arcade jumped at the sudden metallic boom. Boone was no longer in the entrance with him. He heard another gunshot and deciphered Boone must’ve headed further inside. Arcade hustled, following the sound. Gunshots meant trouble. His feet flew down the stairwell, chasing noise, any sign of life. He halted, almost rushing into a figure rising from a cluster of flora. It was human shaped, but definitely not human. Arcade discharged his pistol into the back of the creature. It shrieked and burned as it crumpled to the ground. Boone turned around, realizing the creature had gotten dangerously close to him before Arcade shot it down. Arcade expected some hint of gratitude but Boone showed none. 

“We’re not alone,” He said, instead. As if that much were not already obvious. The stairwell split into two opposing sides. “I’ll take that way,” Boone said, before heading down the stairs before Arcade could oppose them splitting up. 

He held tight to his pistol as he ventured the other route. Boone’s gunshots echoed the metal walls. He was relieved to see they rejoined on the same floor. Boone took the liberty of surveying one of the rooms. Arcade took to the opposite, which looked to be a lab. Promising, Arcade thought.

He took out another plant-person as it rose from another cluster of flora. He wondered, with some morbidity, if these creatures were indeed once human. Maybe even the scientists working in this vault. 

A light shone on a large blossom, catching Arcade’s attention. He approached with caution, pistol pointed forward in case another creature spawned from it. The blossom opened, releasing a visible cloud of spores. Instinctively, Arcade gasped. It smelled, he was embarrassed to admit, like sex. He pressed the sleeve of his lab coat to his face, trying to avoid breathing any more of it in and promptly left the room in search of Boone. 

“We need to leave,” He told the sniper, when he encountered him loitering in one of the labs. “There’s spores in the air, and who knows what harm they could be if we breath them.” He thought of the corpse they found that looked like a human body entirely encased in flora. No doubt they would soon share a similar fate. Boone did not seem particularly riveted by Arcade’s words. Arcade felt his blood warm. Frustration. He knew he wasn’t exactly the type to give orders, but he wished Boone would at least listen to him. “We need gas masks and then we can try again. I’m sure Sloan would understand,” Arcade added, considering maybe Boone was afraid of disappointing Sloan. 

“There’s spores in here too,” Boone stated, pointing towards a similar looking blossom.

“Yeah, exactly why we need to get out of here,” Arcade reiterated. He never realized how dull Boone was. Abandoning all caution, he reached for Boone’s hand, giving it a tug. Surprisingly, the contact earned no response from the other man.

“Are you feeling feverish?” Boone asked. Arcade paused. He had been feeling a little warmer and

his heart was pounding in his chest. He assumed it was out of ire towards the sniper. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. It was warm. “You look flushed,” Boone commented.  

“Yeah, well something really fucked up is going on in this vault, so excuse me for being a little worked up,” Arcade replied. His heart was really pounding, as if he had just ran a lap around Freeside. Sure he was upset at Boone, but even he acknowledged that it was a bit of an exaggerated response to the situation. Unless it was the pollen he inhaled causing him to have an accelerated heart rate.

“Worked up is right,” Boone commented. He scratched his buzzed head under his beret. Arcade noticed how low Boone was looking. He followed his line of vision, noticed a small tent had formed in his pants. He could add this to the list of awkward moments he had gotten a boner. 

“I’m not going to let you die down here just because you want to be difficult,” Arcade redirected the conversation back to what was most urgent. He grabbed the collar of Boone’s shirt and pulled. Boone swatted his hand away, but it got him to start moving. 

Arcade kept his plasma pistol close in case they encountered any more of those spore creatures on the way back out. Every cluster of flora that broke through the metal floor of the vault put Arcade a little bit more at unease. He jumped upon seeing a corpse of one Boone had sniped earlier, laying among all of the plants. 

The further up they went, the warmer Arcade felt. He was coated in a fierce sweat, as if he were fighting a fever, his glasses fogged a bit from the heat radiating from his body. Arcade paused to catch his breath. Boone took note.

“Hey,” The concern in his voice was forreign to Arcade. “What’s up?” That was probably the closest Boone was going to come to saying ‘are you okay?’

“I’m not going to lie, I’m not feeling great,” Arcade confessed. He was having a difficult time placing what was wrong. He did not feel ill. Despite the high body temperature, he knew he didn’t have a fever. He just felt exceptionally wound up, like he had just did a warm up lap and was ready to do more. 

“Something’s not right,” Boone said, in agreement. Arcade looked towards him. Boone was looking flushed as well. He didn’t mean to look, but it was hard to ignore the swell tugging against cargo pants. 

Boone stepped closer, causing Arcade to take a step back. He couldn’t see behind Boone’s sniper shades, but he thought he was pissed, that he was going to hurt him. Instead, Boone clutched Arcade’s sleeve, pinching it tight inside his fist. “I need help, Doc.” 

Arcade’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. He felt as rough as Boone looked, as if their bodies were going to give out from stress if relief didn’t come soon. “I don’t…” Arcade stuttered. “I-I don’t know what to do.” 

“Bullshit,” Boone growled through clenched teeth. 

Sweat loosened the pomade in Arcade’s hair, so that strands dangled in his face. He brushed them back, all the while leaning on a computer mainframe for support. He did have an idea of how to treat this condition. While it wasn’t an unpleasant idea, it also wasn’t something Arcade impulsively rushed into, like Sloan might. He had secrets to keep, secrets that didn’t belong with such intimate acts. 

But he was also certain not doing so would kill them. Already the stress was taking a toll on Arcade’s body. He knew they wouldn’t make it far from the vault before one or both of them would suffer a stroke or cardiac arrest. 

“Yes. Fine,” Arcade conceded. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Neither of them had any other choice, but Arcade needed consent before performing this sort of procedure. 

Next thing Arcade knew, Boone’s hand was on the collar of his button down, pulling him down to his shorter height and mashing his lips against Arcade’s. His glasses clacked with Boone’s, knocking them askew on his face. Arcade removed his and rested it on the mainframe before returning his lips to Boone’s.

Boone’s breath was hot on his face. He kissed ravenously, like Boone had been wandering the Mojave for days and Arcade was the first drink of water. His hands grasped at Arcade with the same urgency, while constantly shifting place, as if Boone was still trying to figure out what felt right. 

Arcade stifled the question in his mind of whether Boone had ever been with a man before. He was confident Boone hadn’t engaged in sexual activities since the loss of his wife. Being close to someone now must have been weird to him, regardless of anatomy. 

He decided to offer Boone some assistance, and pulled his lab coat off before beginning to unbutton his shirt. It clung to his body, damp with sweat. Boone eyed him for a moment before doing the same with his t-shirt. 

His stocky torso shined with sweat. His skin was battered with scars all at different stages of healing, but his shape was soft and inviting. Round pectoral muscles and a slight pudge of stomach cushioning ropes of muscles beneath. Arcade would be lying if he said he never found Boone attractive previously, he just didn’t think Boone would be interested. Even now, Boone hesitated. He realized Boone was waiting for his direction. 

Arcade took his hands in his own and guided them towards his chest. Boone traced along his torso before eagerly coming in for another kiss. Their chests pressed together, he could feel the heat radiating off of Boone. Arcade was painfully erect and the slightest brush of cloth against his groin made him ache. 

He reached between their bodies to free himself from his pants. Boone mirrored him before turning around and leaning against the mainframe. Arcade was taken aback, watching as Boone waited for him. Two pale mounds that were his now exposed ass facing in his direction. Now it was Arcade’s turn to be cautious. 

Boone looked over his shoulder towards Arcade. “Please.” His voice was low, so that he almost missed it. 

Arcade held his hips between his hands. He lined himself up and then pressed in. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped from him. Boone bit down on his own hand. At first he was worried it was bad for him, then he realized Boone was trying to stifle his own noise. 

“Harder.” 

Arcade obliged. Each thrust came easier than the one before and scratched at his itch. Finally the tension building inside of him felt right instead of something that wanted to kill him. Shamefully, Arcade did not last long, nor did Boone, as the latter climaxed shortly after him. Much to Arcade’s surprise, he was still hard as he pulled out. 

“That’s...new,” He remarked. Boone turned around, his erection mirroring his own. 

Before Arcade could question if these effects were going to be permanent, Boone was on him again. His bare cock brushed against Arcade’s. Even the slightest touch made small fires light inside of him. He watched as Boone lined them up. Boone’s hands were rough with callouses, but warm as he surrounded them both. Arcade placed his slender fingers over Boone’s, squeezing their hold tighter as together they pumped. Boone leaned his head on Arcade’s shoulder. He could hear every raspy breath that shook through Boone, mixed in with a small, whispered ‘fuck.’ Arcade gasped as Boone bit his neck. It must have done something for him, because next thing he knew, he was releasing again, this time onto Boone’s stomach. Boone’s hot fluid dripped onto his fingers. 

Arcade was out of breath. Carefully, he lowered himself onto a patch of the vault’s floor that didn’t look as dirty as the rest. His chest heaves, deprived of air. His heart still thunders, but not with the same urgency as before. His member, though still firm, was beginning to wilt ever so slightly. 

Boone knelt beside him. Arcade now noticed that his beret had fallen off at some point, leaving his buzzed haircut exposed. It sparkled with flecks of sweat that dripped onto his temples. 

“I think...it’s working,” Arcade commented. He leaned his head against the mainframe, feeling like he was going to collapse from exhaustion. 

“We’re not done yet,” Boone said. He crawled closer before he laid on his belly before Arcade, his head in the researcher’s lap. Arcade gasped as he felt Boone’s hot breath against his cock, moments before he took Arcade inside of his mouth. 

At first, Arcade watched as Boone’s head bobbed, afraid to touch him, which was probably silly considering everything that had happened between them recently. He gave in and gently raked his fingers through the bristles of Boone’s cropped hair. Boone’s moan vibrated against his cock, causing Arcade’s breath to catch. This part lasted longer. Or maybe Arcade’s head was clear enough that he could finally concentrate on what was happening, rather than all his previous actions passing by in blurred emotions. Before was so desperate, like relieving pain. This...this was kind of...nice, he had to admit. 

When Arcade inevitably released, he half expected Boone to pull away in disgust. Instead, he accepted the load without complaint. Arcade reached for his canteen and downed half of it, attempting to replenish all the water his body had sweated out. He wiped excess moisture from his lips as he offered the canteen to Boone. Boone accepted. 

“What about you?” Arcade asked. His eyes drifted to the semi-erection that bounced between Boone’s legs as he shifted. Boone finished off the canteen before answering. 

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” 

He sealed the empty canteen and handed it back to Arcade, before shirking his cargo pants back up his thighs. “Yeah.” 

Arcade watched him straighten out his clothes, pushing his shades back up his nose and readjusting his beret atop his head. He didn’t seem to be changing his mind anytime soon. 

“We should leave,” he said. Arcade had to agree, before they encountered more spores. He wasn’t sure how many times his body could go through something like that before it finally quit. 

His vision cleared once his glasses returned to rest before his eyes. Arcade covered himself again while Boone stood watch, holding his rifle. If they had been attacked while lost in their frenzy of desire, they would have been goners. Arcade could count himself lucky that hadn’t been a problem. 

“Hey,” Arcade sought his attention, touching his arm lightly. He half expected Boone to flinch away from his touch, but he didn’t. His shaded eyes turned towards Arcade. Arcade brushed his lips against Boone’s. They tasted salty of sweat and his own cum. Boone’s lips moved gently in response, feeling for the briefest of moments the wetness of a tongue before it ended as abruptly as it began. 

“We can’t tell Sloan,” Boone said, after an elongated moment of silence.

“Absolutely not,” Arcade said, in agreement, before the two headed back towards the surface.

[spooderboyandtincan]

Can you make an AU where someone randomly offers Peter P. some lemongrass tea (bc y'know spiders can't stand lemongrass)

Of course! I’m so sorry this took forever!

~~~~~

TW: Descriptions of allergic reactions

“Mr. Stark, if you had to choose between lavender and vanilla, which one?” Peter asked as they strolled down the sidewalk, Tony’s arm around his shoulders. 

He chuckled. “Hard decision, kiddo, but I’d go with lavender.” 

Peter shook his head. “Wrong answer. Vanilla is way better. Wait, is lavender ice cream a thing?”

“I don’t know kiddo, it sounds interesting though. Should we ask FRIDAY to order us some?” 

The boy laughed. “I dunno- hey look, Mr. Stark, there’s bubble tea!” Peter pointed to a shop across the street. “We should get some! Ned says it’s really good!” 

Tony grinned. “Of course, Pete. Let’s go.”

They crossed the street, Peter bouncing in in excitement. “I’ve never had it before!” he exclaimed. “Have you? Ned said it’s great! Did I say that already? I wonder what kind of flavors they have?”

The inventor’s heart flooded with love and adoration and (over)protectiveness. He bent to press a quick kiss to his kid’s hair, hiding the tears that sprang to his eyes. 

Before Peter, Tony thought that this much love couldn’t be humanly possible.

His kid’s warm brown eyes blinked up at him. “Mr. Stark, are you okay?”

Tony smiled. “Couldn’t be better.”

They walked into the shop, Peter inhaling the scent of lemon and fruits. His nose twitched and he stifled a sneeze. They stopped at the menu, where a perky looking young woman stood. 

“Hi,” Tony greeted, ignoring the customers turning to face him with gasps and exclamations. Peter pressed himself further into his side, and the genius hugged him closer. 

They studied the menu as the starstruck waitress stared at them. Finally Peter decided on a flavor.

“Ummm, could I have one lemongrass tea, please?” he asked, grinning adorably. “Just the small glass if that's okay!” 

The woman snapped out of her stupor and smiled. “Of course. I’ll get that right away. And for you, sir?” She turned to Tony. 

He shrugged. “I’ll take a small lavender.”

Peter shot him a glare with no heat behind it. They sat in a quiet booth, away from prying eyes. Peter immediately started chattering away, playing with the saltshaker absentmindedly.

The waitress hurried to them, holding their drinks. Tony guessed the whole kitchen now knew that Iron Man and a mysterious boy were in their shop.

Peter sipped his drink. “Huh, this is weird!” 

It had a strange lemony taste. He couldn’t decide if he liked it or not.

“You okay, Pete?” Tony’s voice startled him from his thoughts. 

“Yeah, Mr. Stark! I… I just….” he trailed off.

Wow, it was hot in here. Was it this warm when they came in?

He blinked slowly, his tongue burning suddenly. He barely registered the worried look on Tony’s face. 

Wait, Mr. Stark was talking. What was he saying?

Peter’s eyes were stinging and he felt too hot, like he had spent a day out in the summer sun. “M’s- m’ster S-Stark…” he tried. “W’a’s goin’ on?”

Tony looked scared. He cupped Peter’s face in his hands, asking soundless questions, his eyes frantic. The boy caught a few words like “Petey” and “Stay with me, sweetheart” and “I got you.”

Huh. Mr. Stark looked really scared. 

Peter tried to move his hand so he could comfort Mr. Stark, but it was limp and heavy. 

The genius cradled him to his chest, stroking his cheek. His head turned and Peter assumed he was shouting. 

Why was Dad shouting?

Ugh, it was so hot.

What happened to his tea?

~~~~~

Tony noticed something was off the moment Peter took a sip of his bubble tea. He was flushed and his eyes were glassy.

“You okay, Pete?” he asked, his tone borderlining on panic. 

“Yeah, Mr. Stark! I... I just....”

“Petey? Peter, baby, what’s wrong?” he stood, his heart stuttering in his chest. 

“M’s- m’ster S-Stark…” Peter slurred. “W’a’s goin’ on?”

“Petey, sweetheart, look at me, c’mon.” Tony cupped his cheek. “Stay with me, baby, just hold on, hold on. Please, baby.” He gently scooped Peter up, cradling him tightly against his chest. “I got you, mimmo, just breathe, okay?” He rubbed his back gently. “Come on, please, please, just breathe.”

His kid wheezed and choked slightly, his eyes wide and his face a deep red. 

Clutching his baby, he turned his head. “Help us!” he cried. “Please, my-my kid! Somebody help! Peter, please, just hold, okay? Hold on for me, baby. Hold on, just keep breathing.”

Tony bit back a sob, trying to hold it together. He tapped Peter’s cheek to keep him awake, begging him to breathe. 

A crowd gathered around him, gasping at the distraught, terrified Iron Man holding a small kid with blank eyes. Tony ignored them and kissed Peter’s forehead, rocking them back and forth gently. He felt tears trickling down his cheeks, and Peter wasn’t fucking breathing. 

“Help us!” he screamed. “Help him, please! Please, I can’t lose him!” 

God he couldn’t lose his kid he couldn’t lose his Peter please

Please please please no

Vaguely he could hear sirens nearing the tea shop, people shouting, and then the crowd parted and somebody tried to take his baby. 

Tony snarled, protectively holding Peter tightly in his arms.

No, no no no you can’t have him, he’s my kid

“Mr. Stark! You need to let us take him. We can help.”

And then his arms were empty, and Peter was gone.

No!

“No!” he screamed. “Give him back to me!” 

“Mr. Stark, please, calm down!” a voice insisted. “We have him, you need to calm down!”

But Tony would’t calm down, because his baby wasn’t breathing and wasn’t there with him and-

“Peter!” he screamed, catching sight of his kid, surrounded by strangers on a cot and god please not his kid.

He clawed his way to his baby, sobbing and just wanting to hold him close and never let go. 

“Mr. Stark, calm down, sir!” 

“No!” he cried, scrambling and trying to force his way to Peter. “No, il mio bambino, please! Please, not him not him!”

“Mr. Stark, he’s alright! He’s breathing, sir.”

Tony shoved away the nurses and doctors, cupping Peter’s red, slightly puffy face in his hands and pressing a firm kiss to his forehead. He sobbed, rubbing his thumb along his cheek, whispering words of love and agony and comfort. 

The boy’s eyes were closed, the oxygen mask strapped tightly to his face, his breathing wheezy. Tony sniffed and kissed Peter’s forehead again and again, holding his tiny, cold hand. 

“Mr. Stark,” said a man. “Can you tell us if he consumed anything? When did you first notice he was off?”

Tony answered their questions, his eyes never leaving Peter’s face. The paramedics loaded the stretcher into the ambulance, Tony not once leaving his kid’s side. 

He didn't move as doctors and nurses fluttered into the room, asking questions, taking tests, monitoring his vitals. He didn’t budge, stroking Peter’s delicate curls and murmuring his love to the boy.

More love than he once thought was humanly possible.

But it was possible, because he loved Peter, his baby, his kid, his universe. 

“I love you, Petey. So so much.”

More than you will ever know.

~~~~~

/DO NOT TAG OR REBLOG AS ST*RKER/

Taglist under the cut:

Taglist: @imissyoutoo @aj-that-person @tonystark-deserves-better @nathaly-ab @skeeter-110 @peter-and-tony-vlogs @teammightypen @joyful-soul-collector @loveliestdisappointment @depuella @scwene-qween @pixiethefirecat7 @spider-man-lover @bringitonvoldie @queen-of-sarcasm @memilon @roxy3457 @iron-loyalty @gralaca @bitchingpretty

[cakejots]

Unstained, Chapter 2

After certain events that happened in the day, Chat Noir revealed to Ladybug that he knows who she is under the mask. Her reactions astounded him. After certain events that happened in the night, Ladybug unveiled to Chat Noir why she can’t do what he asked of her. His reactions astonished her.

Rating: T, Words: 6938. Chapters: 4/4

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4

Read on AO3

“So, are you going to take my Miraculous away?”

“I suppose.”

Chat immediately stiffened his relaxed posture and whipped his head to look at her, moon-eyed. “You—”

“But, if that’s supposed to happen, I wouldn’t be here talking to you as Ladybug, would I?” Ladybug finally faced him with a small smile hanging on her lips.

Seeing her smile, Chat felt even more perplexed than he already was. “What do you mean?”

“I know who you are, Adrien.”

Adrien didn’t think his day would get any crazier, but it just did. “C-come again?”

“Adrien, that’s you under that mask. Marinette, that’s me under this mask. And I’m not going to take away your Miraculous, silly,” Ladybug, Marinette, teased. She seemed to be genuinely enjoying his reactions to all these.

“Sorry, but this is a lot to take in, I need a moment.” Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes to internalise this new information that Ladybu—Marinette just dropped on him.

“Take all the time you need, Minou. We have time. But—”

“But we need to move if there’s an Akuma attack,” he recited.

“You know me so well, but patrols rarely have those, so you’re good.” Her attention was now back to the glittery sky above.

Silence, until…

“My lady? M-Marinette? Argh, I don’t even know which to use now! This is all so new to me,” he whined and pulled his hair while making distressed faces.

“You can use whichever you want Chaton, we are still the same person under the masks,” she giggled.

“I’ve got a few questions if you don’t mind?” He asked with hope in his eyes.

“Of course not, go ahead.”

He started to fidget. “How did you find out?”

“Well, it wasn’t like I actively sought out your identity or anything. It just happened, to the point I simply couldn’t ignore it any longer,” she stated.

Chat was looking at her curiously. But he was listening attentively and signalling for her to go on, and she did.

“Wow this is such a long list, where do I even begin?” She mused.

“Start from your earliest memories of it?” He suggested.

“That’s a good idea. Remember when there was a design competition for bowler hats and your father—”

Chat gagged.

“—got to decide which is the winning piece you’ll wear for your next photoshoot?” Ladybug raised an eyebrow.

Chat’s eyes widened with realisation and nodded. “It was the first time we fought Mr Pigeon.”

“Yeah. And Chat Noir was sneezing non-stop due to the allergies he had against feathers. Guess who I found that had the same allergies after we defeated the Akuma?”

Chat blushed.

“But it wasn’t enough of an evidence to give away that you’re Chat Noir. After all, plenty of people are allergic to feathers.” He nodded. “Next, was when as Chat Noir, you worked with Marinette to take down Evillustrator.”

“Oh! So that’s your secret mission. How did I expose myself? I’m pretty different in and out of the mask.”

“Indeed you are. Thing is, no one knew Marinette and Chat Noir worked together that night. Yet, Adrien-you approached Marinette-me and asked what I thought about Chat Noir.”

“Please tell me there’s no more of my reckless behaviour that could possibly scream Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir,” he grimaced.

“You’ll be surprised,” she winked. And he groaned.

“Those two might have been coincidences, but not this next one. Does ‘Tom Style: Booyah!’ remind you of anything?”

“Wow I really need to stop being so careless, who would have thought!” Chat was hiding his face behind his hands.

Ladybug started listing more. “There’s also that time where Jagged Stone tried being a baker on a reality show, and basically flashed my room full of Adrien’s photos on national TV. And you were acting all smug about it the next day, very Chat-like might I add. And our train ride to London, Chat Noir—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I leave tons of clues, sheesh.”

It was quiet again and Ladybug went back to admiring the many glimmers that hung above. Ladybug sensed a change in the mood surrounding them and hoped that he wouldn’t ask what she thinks he’d ask.

“So, how long have you known?”

And there it was. “You know how long, Adrien,” as if pleading him to drop the questioning.

“Yeah, but do you know since when?”

“S-since the first year we got our Miraculouses,” she confirmed, hugging her knees.

“Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me in the first instance possible?” He asked gently.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Adrien. I do, I really do, but Master Fu said… he said our identities must remain a secret.” Ladybug tried to reason with him.

“I know you do, and I have no doubt about that. And Master Fu did say that, didn’t he? But you still knew about Rena Rouge and Carapace.”

“They were needed for our battles, and you knew about Queen Bee.” But her determination was wearing thin, and she knew she wasn’t making any sense.

“And so did you.”

Ladybug kept quiet and was looking at everything else but Chat.

“Marinette, if identities were so important, Master Fu would have made sure you didn’t know about Rena Rouge’s and Carapace’s, you know that.” Adrien's voice was really soft, the softest it has been the whole day. “Queen Bee was an unfortunate case that the whole of Paris knows.”

She still wasn’t looking at him.

“Marinette, is there something you’re hiding?” Chat shifted towards her.

And yet, she didn’t utter a single word.

“My lady?” He had begun to hold her as he witnessed her eyes welling up.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hands, but they continued falling.

He looked at her earnestly before he went ahead to wipe her tears with his thumb, mindful of his claws. Chat then placed a hand at the back of her head, and pulled her into his embrace, rubbing circles on her back. He figured that if she didn’t want to talk about it, the least he could do was calm her down.

“I-I’m guessing that you figured out my identity this afternoon? When y-you were almost akumatised?” She started.

Ladybug felt a nod at her shoulder, and she continued.

She heaved a deep sigh and wrapped her arms around him. “In… in another timeline, we knew each other’s identities in the first year we got our Miraculouses. And we were in love.”

Chat went rigid with his ministrations.

“I… I don’t really know the details, but it… it was our love that destroyed the world.”

He felt a vicious chill spread through his core. Chat pulled back to look at Ladybug, eyes conveying desperation that this where it stopped, that it couldn’t possibly get any worse than this.

Ladybug held his gaze for a while before looking up. “This moon above us, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Chat didn’t know where this was going, but he looked up nonetheless. The moon was indeed very pretty, gleaming brightly against the clear blue-black sky that made sure all focus was on it.

“In that timeline, this very same moon was split into half," she paused. "By you. Akumatised you.”

Chat whipped his head back down to her, gaze wavering as a feeling of disorientation blanketed him.

Ladybug fiercely pulled him back into her embrace, instantly regretting the way she had delivered the news to him. “Do you see it now?” She wept. “The reason why I was so hesitant to reveal myself to you?" She gripped on him firmly, afraid that he'd run away.

Chat’s vision had turned blurry, and he squeezed her. “Then why did you reveal yourself now? If you knew this was going to happen.”

“I… I figure the reveal was going to happen sooner or later, and y-you were akumatised because of something entirely different. And honestly, I am so exhausted about everything.”

They basked in the silence together, sniffling and trying to stop their tears from flowing.

“So what are we going to do now?” Chat whispered.

“I really don’t know, I’m just glad that you didn’t get akumatised and I didn’t have to fight you.” She hugged him tighter than what he thought was possible.

Chat slowly pried himself away from her to look at her. With his hand at the back of her head, he pulled it forward and kissed her forehead. She froze.

“Adrien, what are you doing?”

“I love you.” Ladybug opened her mouth but he cut her to it. “You’re always thinking about others even while going through hell all by yourself. You’ve been through so much. I’m so sorry for not being there for you, and I thank you for sharing this with me, Marinette. I love you, so, so much. For being so brave, for being all that you are.”

Her tears flowed down her face like a river escaping a dam, comparable to the speed of her thoughts running through her mind. All the ‘could haves’ she might have experienced with Adrien if it wasn’t for her fears. And the possible devastation that may happen if she went ahead with what her alternate self did.

“Adrien, I don’t know if you know this, but I love you too, romantically. Ever since the first day we’ve met. But...”

To say that didn’t break his heart would have been the joke of the century, but…

“I understand Marinette,” he smiled weakly, “but please stop pushing me away. Even if not romantically, I want to be there for you every step of the way.”

“I’m doing fine Adrien...” She looked away.

Adrien felt disheartened. But he didn’t want to give up, not yet, never. He cupped her face to look at him.

“Marinette, you’ve been waiting all this time, haven’t you?” Marinette didn’t think Adrien’s voice could go even softer than before, but it did. “Since 3 years ago, for someone to save you from this helplessness, for someone to share this burden with you. Let me be that person for you.”

Marinette sometimes could perfectly explain what she saw in Chat. His desire to lighten up other people’s day, his unyielding trust in her, among many many others. But other times, she wasn’t able to, because it was indefinable. It’s just the way he was able to take her to places where no one else could. Maybe, it's time she finally let go of all the burdens she has had and shared them with someone, with her kitty.

“I’ll always be here, my lady.”

She raised her arms to hold his face in her hands—

“I am so sorry.”

—and pressed her lips onto his.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Friendship, Fuckery, and Fey

Words: 3684

Look, I used the title! I come up with the perfect title and then I can’t write a proper introduction to save my life. Go figure.

Anyway, I wanted to look into the conversation between Artagan and Jester a little deeper and writing is how I figure out what I’m thinking, so you all get this thing, whatever it is.

Disclaimer/Reminder: Dudes, I don’t hate Artagan. I think he’s complex, interesting, layered character and watching Matt play him is a genuine delight. And he’s an Archfey on top of that, which makes him even more complex. I am inherently suspicious of everything, so there’s a good chance that we’re not going to agree on what any of this means. I’ve also never been quiet about my distrust of The Traveler, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that’s been following me for a while. I look forward to potentially being proven wrong by the narrative. 

To quote Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: This is the problem with fey. They don’t tend to lie. They tend to tell just most of the truth.

I debated how to set this up and decided that I’m going to dissect small chunks of the conversation and go from there. I’m just going to get into it, because I’m assuming that’s what you’re here for.

Artagan: Hello, Jester Jester: Hi. Artagan: What’s wrong? You look so.... Jester: This guy. Here. He’s real... he’s a... he’s a dick, man. Like, not in a good way. Like.... Artagan: There’s a lot of them out there. You’re not wrong. Jester: But this guy, like, this whole island is weird. It’s like opening - look at this waterfall! Have you ever seen anything like that? This doesn’t count as a question. Like, come on. Artagan: That is quite impressive. I mean, from a mortal standpoint. There are some places in the Fey that are just mindboggling.  That is - Jester: We need to go there. Artagan: One of these days.  Jester: (over each other) Can you take everyone there? Artagan: (over each other) You are welcome to. Jester: Can we sleep in the Feywild? Artagan: I would prefer not to go back. But you’re welcome to go any time you’d like. I’ll just keep my time here as well.

I don’t have a lot to say about this really. It all seems pretty normal. But I do like that Matt has loosened the interaction rules for Commune to open it up for conversations like this between Jester and Artagan. She asked three yes-or-no questions in this tiny section alone, but he stayed around for a longer chat. I... just dig the whole thing.

However, it also makes total sense to me that Artagan wouldn’t have told Jester much, if anything, about his time in the Feywild. Since he has no interest in ever going back. But it makes me want to know what would happen to him if he goes back? I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that he needed Vox Machina to build him a doorway to the Material Plane for some reason that remains unnamed. Matt give me your notes!

Artagan: But I’m sorry, you brought me here for a purpose. Did you have any questions? Jester: People lose their memory here. They could be here for two or three days and then they get stuck here forever. Did you know that could happen? Artagan: I... I was aware. Jester: Like, I understand if, you know, you want to get rid of some of your followers, we talked about it, it’s okay, you know. Like... a few of them could stay, but I don’t want to stay.

So... here’s the deal. I’m going to get into the Artagan morality now as opposed to later, because I feel like it. I’ll get into Jester morality later.

Fey are, in a sense, amoral. Hmm... maybe that’s not what I mean. Their sense of morality does not tend to line up with the morality of someone from the Material Plane. The rules in the Feywild are different. Honestly, I don’t even know how to approach this without trying to apply a human moral code to it. I guess... my feelings on this? I love a gray morality. I love the confusion and angst that comes with it. But like... defending an archfey by saying that they don’t have the same morals as us seems kind of weird to me. That’s exactly the point? They don’t have the same morals as us? So everything that he says should be taken with a grain of salt. 

Artagan does care about Jester. I believe that. But... he also didn’t warn her about what was on Rumblecusp. He knew there was a Morkoth there. He knew that people were losing their memories here. And I guess this is where we have to decide why him not telling her doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It’s more that he didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her. His favorite. He sent her in blind. Whatever you feel about an archfey’s morality, by our own standards, that’s super fucked up. That’s like you being deathly allergic to bees and me sending you to pick something up for me at a farm that also happens to be a bee rescue place and not telling you about that part. (Okay please don’t judge me for that comparison it was the only thing I could think of and I’m aware how silly it sounds.) Do I know that something could happen to you? Yep. Do I want something to happen to you? Nope. Do I send you anyway? Yep. Do I care that I sent you into danger? Nope. Do I care that it makes you think I don’t care about you? Yep.

See. Complicated.

Anyway, one other thing I want to talk about before continuing is Jester’s relationship with faith right now. She’s been struggling since the reveal that he’s not a god. She’s been struggling since she realized that she needs to put on her mask around him, too. He threw her entire world out of place with that reveal. And I can’t help but focus on what that means for Jester and how it has affected her. This change in their dynamic has been a problem for her. It is hurting her. And she is still frantically trying to cling to her faith in their relationship. It doesn’t bother her that he wants to get rid of some of his other followers, as long as she isn’t someone he wants to get rid of. She used to believe that he wouldn’t do that to her and here? She’s starting to doubt, saying it out loud, because she wants him to tell her that it’s not true. It’s yet another crack in the foundation of their relationship. 

And... he does tell her that it isn’t true.

Artagan: You’re not going to stay. Jester, Jester, Jester, Jester. (takes her hands) Please don’t ever think that I’m not looking out for your best interest. And I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing. You have to have a series of layers for something like this. (Jester sniffles) Oh, dear thing. (Puts his thumb on her cheek) I... I don’t mean to put you through this. I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this. If things went sideways when we arrived, I would’ve just plucked you and everyone else of import -  Jester: Everyone else, too? Artagan: Everyone else of import. Jester: My friends? Artagan: Oh, your friends? Yes. Of course. But... let’s be honest. There are a few individuals on their way here that are more of a pain in my ass. Let me tell you, trying to charter this many ships from the middle of the Menagerie Coast? Jester: It’s a lot. Artagan: A lot of paperwork. Jester: Yeah. Artagan: I’ve been busy. I hate it. I hate all of this. I’m excited to be done. But no, I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

Oof, okay. My first reaction here was super visceral. This is where most of my distrust started in the conversation, to be honest. He doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the Mighty Nein. That’s not news. He likes that they’re helping keep an eye out for Jester, yeah. But if they hadn’t had this conversation, I’d put money on him only grabbing Jester and leaving the rest of the group. I mean, remember. He didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her about the memory loss. I’m sure that, in the heat of the moment, he wouldn’t think it was a big deal to leave her friends behind. Jester had to push him twice and even then, it felt like an afterthought. They’re something tangential to Jester. They don’t matter to him.

We also don’t know what the Traveler thinks is in Jester’s best interest. Hell, we don’t really know what Jester thinks is in her best interest. Her reactions to this conversation are where we should be taking our cues from, to be honest. Whether or not she’s comfortable with any of this.

Also, this makes me really, really curious about his other followers. Jester was his first and will always be his favorite, but what if there are a few more that he genuinely likes the way he likes Jester? There have to be a couple. It’s the way he said ‘everyone of import’ that made me start thinking about it. There’s an implication that Jester isn’t the only one on the island that is, however he defines the word, important to Artagan. 

Jester: So, do you think we should get rid of this weird Vo-greedy guy? Artagan: Perhaps. If you don’t think there’s much of a purpose or a way to make him useful.... Then.... I mean, what other choice is there? Jester: Do you want to fight him? Artagan: Me? I don’t fight. I... hedge my bets on those who fight for me. Jester: Yeah.... Okay. You promise? You promise? Artagan: I am of a kind of entity that promises are binding. Makes them dangerous. Makes them easy to regret. But binding. And. I. Promise. Jester: Okay.

OKAY. This is where we’re going to get into real arguments, I bet.

Look, I get it. He said the words “I promise”. BUT WHAT DID HE PROMISE?

There are a lot of possibilities here. This is so open-ended. Matt has so many ways he can play this. He could be promising that he never intended to abandon her here. He could be promising that she’s not going to stay on this island. He could be promising that he wasn’t going to abandon her and her friends. He could be promising that he hedges his bets on those who fight for him. Jester didn’t specify. A Fey cannot knowingly tell a lie. Yes. But they are masters at manipulating the truth. If we can’t judge him using our morality, we have to be willing to acknowledge that this probably extends to the way he interacts with people he cares about. Including Jester. Because it’s not the same thing to him. It just isn’t.

So, what does this mean? If he can’t tell a direct lie?

I was aware

He knew something on the island was sucking memories and decided to use it to his advantage if Travelercon didn’t pan out. But how did he expect Travelercon to pan out? What is the purpose? What is the end goal?

Please don’t ever think I’m not looking out for your best interest.

What does he think is Jester’s best interest? Would Jester agree? Is it in her best interest to travel the world creating chaos with him alone? Is it in her best interest to forget him? 

I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing.

He wasn’t planning to leave them all here. Again. What is the Travelercon thing? What is the end goal? He still hasn’t said. We know he wants to abdicate responsibility, right? So, what’s the plan to do that after gathering his followers? 

I don’t mean to put you through this.

Yeah. He cares about her. He hasn’t intended for his actions to hurt her and they have. He’s aware of this and how she’s upset by the shift in their relationship.

I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this.

He was never going to abandon her or leave her to this. But... he didn’t say that he didn’t intend to leave her there at all. He could leave her there for 50 years and then go back and that wouldn’t be considered abandoning her. Or he could have intended to sweep only Jester out of there.

I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

After a little pushing, he agreed that he didn’t intend to leave her friends behind either. So, for now, the Nein at least have a backup escape plan, although we don’t know exactly what that means. And if they die fighting Vokodo, he doesn’t have to worry about extricating them as well.

I hedge my bets on those who fight for me.

I mean, that’s pretty easy to take at face value. He’s not really one for direct confrontation.

Look. Maybe i’m being paranoid. But Fey always make me nervous. In a fun way? If that makes sense. It’s like a logic game. How many different ways can this sentence be interpreted? What have I possibly gotten myself into? Like... *CR1 SPOILERS* remember how Vox Machina got out of the whole threshold crest thing by stone-shaping a Whitestone crest in the threshold of one of their doors? And Garmelie/Artagan had to accept it, because it fit the letter of the promise, if not the spirit? I feel like you need to always look for the loopholes with Fey beings.

And again. Yes. Artagan said the words “I promise”. But the loophole is literally right there. He promised nothing explicitly. 

Artagan: And I’m sorry if you felt abandoned. I... there’s no excuse I can put other than the fact that things are a little crazy right now and I (laughs). Oh, mortals are a special breed. Jester: Hey, man, maybe a dragon turtle will take out a couple of the boats on the way here. Artagan: Well, I don’t - I don’t want them dead necessarily. Jester: No, I mean, that would be - that would be terrible. That’d be terrible.

Oh, yay! Jester morality time! I’m not going to go too in depth, but I’ll make a couple notes.

I love this. It’s so amazing, because you can see the way Jester’s opinion on morality was shaped by her time growing up with Artagan. It’s been clear through the entire campaign. The time Fjord said they agreed not to put anyone in harm’s way in an excessive manner and her response? “When did we agree that?” The way that Caleb assumes she’s sweet and innocent and would be upset to find out he murdered his parents? (That’s something Liam said on Talks, btw, I’m not making that up.) And Laura, on the other hand, is like, dude. Jester wouldn’t care.

Jester’s morality is very much shaped on how the actions of others affect her and her friends. This person is her friend, so what they do is ‘good’. Or, even if it’s not good, she’s going to back them up. The conversation with Fjord in the Uk’otoa temple? “Just don’t be evil to me, okay?” I mean, if Fjord had decided to free Uk’otoa? She would have helped, because he’s her friend. She cared about the way it affected and hurt Fjord more than anything. She doesn’t care that Beau or Nott or Caleb were in jail for anything. She doesn’t have the same reservations about lying to people that others do. (Hmm... someone else want to write something up on the way the different members of the Nein view lying??) She doesn’t have the same reservations about killing people. It’s just... yeah. She’s chaotic neutral. Okay, I have more thoughts on this, but I’m going to save them for the conclusion.

Artagan: The plan was, if things went wrong, at the very least they’d be left here to live a nice life in a village with some people, you know? They weren’t going to be hurt. They just would’ve forgotten some thing. Jester: Yeah, that’s true. I mean, they’re living a nice life and nobody seems to hate it with their memories gone. Artagan: Right?! Jester: But I don’t want to do it! Artagan: And you won’t be! It was never even part of this. I should have clarified it. You’re right. I should’ve been a little more forthright with some of this information. Jester: I’m here extra days! You know? Like, extra time. That’s extra risk! (deep sigh) I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you. Artagan: It’s all right. I would’ve come back. Jester: Okay. Artagan: Hey. you wanna see something very pretty? (makes the Tusktooth logo appear on one of the moons) Jester: That’s pretty cool.

This is kind of more in the morality vein as well, but it feels separate from her individual morality. Jester once again asserts the fact that she doesn’t want to live here. She doesn’t want to forget things. And Artagan apologizes and says he should have been more forthright with the information. All while continuing to not be forthright of what his actual plan is. 

He also makes sure to mention that he would have come back. Again. Fey can’t tell a direct lie. Maybe he means he would have rescued her right away. But I still stand by something I said last weekend. Artagan doesn’t want this responsibility anymore. If he has to lose Jester in order to get out of it and go back to a life of fun, he would. It’s an acceptable sacrifice to him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t genuinely care about her. He just cares about himself more. He cares about how this is affecting Jester, but he cares about how it’s affecting him more. 

I don’t know you guys. Like I’ve said over and over. He’s fun. But I still think there’s reason to worry.

Final Thoughts

If anyone thinks I’m ever ignoring Jester’s morality, because I think she’s the sweetest, I can promise you that’s not what I’m doing. I think her morality is sketchy af but really funny, the same way I view Artagan’s tbh, but the difference is in how she cares about the rest of the Nein. Which is also what she cares about, by the way. She loves them and cares for them so much. She does so many sweet things to show that. She paints a mural of wildflowers for Yasha. She pretends she’s going to offer up her hands to a hag and tricks said hag with a cupcake for Veth. She buys Caduceus the cookbook about mushrooms, because she knew he loved fungus and cooking. She uses her special paint to create a parasol for Essek so that he can have a small shield from the sunlight. 

But she also takes every opportunity to fuck with everyone she comes across. Her little pranks are hilarious, but if you put yourself in the shoes of that priest of Bahamut? Probably not so great. And do I care? No. What I care about is that Jester has fun. That goes for this Traveler thing, too. And right now it’s hurting her. A great deal. She cried for a long time after that conversation was over. If Jester ultimately says “fuck it” and runs off with The Traveler, I’d be super sad, but more power to her. I just want... I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to get hurt. 

I guess I think there are two options here. There are more. But these are the two I think about a lot.

One: Artagan doesn’t want to intentionally hurt her. He doesn’t seem to want to intentionally hurt anyone. But when he says he doesn’t want any of the dead. He adds necessarily. If he managed to get out of having all these followers because some of them died. Eh. An unfortunate side effect. He didn’t want it to happen. But maybe he’s willing to give every single one of them up, including Jester, if he can go back to his carefree life.

Two: Artagan loves Jester enough that losing her would hurt him. This encompasses a lot of things. What could he lose her to? Death? Her losing her faith? The Mighty Nein? A romantic relationship? Another friendship that has somehow become more important? Honestly, there are lots of threats to their relationship. And this kind of ties into the way that I think the Nein are an afterthought for him. He doesn’t currently view them as a threat, but he’s also been very busy lately. He values them as protectors for Jester, but she doesn’t necessarily need protection. She’s strong on her own. So... let’s say Jester decides that she doesn’t believe in the Traveler anymore? What would a scorned archfey do? What have we seen, historically, in this game? Legit, I am all about Saundor 2.0. I’m not sure I think it’s the most likely, but I would love to see this play out in their narrative. Because I’m a sucker for angst. Have I not mentioned that enough? 

Anyway. I guess that’s it. The message? Don’t blindly trust Archfey? No. That’s not the message. The message is that this is complicated and painful and making for a super fun story, but it really sucks to see Jester cry.

[firetrucks-fastcars]

Of Co-parenting and Peanut Allergies

“You okay superman?” Buck handed him a napkin to wipe his face. “Buck my throat feels funny,” he continued to cough. His little hand came up to his chest as he tried to catch his breath. “I can’t- I can’t breathe.” His breaths had become shallow and wheezy and Buck was starting to get concerned. Then it hit him, the sundae had peanuts in it. “Buck,” Christopher gasped, tears were streaming down his cheeks. “Hey it’s okay,” he pulled Christopher into his lap and held him firmly. “You’re having an allergic reaction bud. Just try to breathe.”

*****

When out with Buck, Christopher has an allergic reaction.

(I have no idea where I came up with this but enjoy anyway)

Read on ao3 here

It was always slightly concerning when someone who wasn’t Buck, Carla or Abuela called Eddie at work. It was even more concerning that when he ignored the unknown number, they called twice more. 

“Just answer it,” Bobby said on the third call. “Obviously it’s important.”

“Yeah you’re probably right.”

Eddie stepped away from the team, walking downstairs to privacy as he answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Is this Edmundo Diaz?”

“Yes. Who is this?”

“I’m calling from Los Angeles general hospital. Your son Christopher was just admitted.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Eddie couldn’t keep the panicked edge out of his voice.

“It seems like an allergic reaction.”

“Who brought him in?”

“Evan Buckley. He’s on Christopher’s papers as an emergency contact.”

“Oh thank God,” his heart left his throat and moved back down to his chest when he found out Buck was with him. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you.”

He hung up and raced up the stairs stumbling out a quick explanation to Bobby. 

All he really caught was, “Christopher, hospital,” but that was explanation enough for him.

*****

“Buck?” Christopher asked as they weaved through the zoo parking lot back to Buck’s car.

“Yeah buddy?”

“Can we go get ice cream?”

“That sounds like a great idea Chris. Just don’t tell your dad,” Buck helped Chris into the backseat. “He thinks I spoil you.”

Chris mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key which made Buck laugh.

He took them to their favorite ice cream place, a small locally owned one that was way better than any of the chains. 

Buck ordered a sundae for them to share and they munched happily as Christopher talked about the animals he’d seen and how excited he was to tell his dad.

The sundae had almost been devoured when Christopher started to cough.

“You okay superman?” Buck handed him a napkin to wipe his face.

“Buck my throat feels funny,” he continued to cough. His little hand came up to his chest as he tried to catch his breath. “I can’t- I can’t breathe.”

His breaths had become shallow and wheezy and Buck was starting to get concerned. Then it hit him, the sundae had peanuts in it.

“Buck,” Christopher gasped, tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Hey it’s okay,” he pulled Christopher into his lap and held him firmly. “You’re having an allergic reaction bud. Just try to breathe.”

“Is he alright?” one of the teenage employees approached them, looking concerned.

“He’s having an allergic reaction. Call 9-1-1.”

The girl nodded and whipped out her cellphone, dialing the number. She answered the initial questions dutifully before turning to Buck.

“Does he have an epi pen?”

“No, his prescription hasn’t been filled yet.”

The girl relayed the information to the operator and kept them on the line.

“Ambulance is five minutes out,” she told Buck.

Christopher’s hands were clutching tightly at his arms while he struggled for breath.

“It’s okay,” Buck spoke lowly, trying to soothe him, rubbing small circles on his chest.

He could hear the sirens approaching and he gathered Chris into his arms to meet the EMTs at the door.

“What’s his name?” the paramedic asked, taking Chris from his arms. He struggled, trying to reach back for Buck but they put him on the gurney and strapped him in.

“Christopher, he’s eight. He’s allergic to peanuts but we don’t have his epi pen yet. He also has cerebral palsy.”

“Are you his father? 1, 2.”

They lifted the gurney into the ambulance and Buck climbed up next to them and sat on the bench out of the way.

“I’m his father’s boyfriend. We’re both firefighters and his dad is at work.”

“Okay, we’re gonna give him epinephrine.”

One of the other paramedics handed him the prefilled syringe and he turned back to Christopher. Someone had already put an oxygen mask on him and he was clinging to Buck’s arm like a lifeline.

“Hi Christopher, my name is Adam. We’re gonna give you this shot and it’s gonna make you feel a lot better okay?”

Christopher nodded and Adam plunged the needle into his thigh, holding it for a count of three then releasing.

“Good job Christopher, you’re a brave little guy.”

Christopher continued to cling to Buck’s hand as the wheezing stopped and his breaths evened out.

“I want my daddy,” he whimpered behind the mask.

“I know kiddo. They’ll call him when we get to the hospital and he’ll come meet us okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re doing so good Christopher. You’re so brave.”

At the hospital Buck had to stay behind and fill out paperwork while they got Christopher settled. By then the epinephrine had kicked in and he was kind of out of it, but it still broke Buck’s heart to hear him cry for him.

Eddie came rushing into the lobby as Buck was finishing the last of his paperwork.

“Hey baby,” he greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. “Is Chris okay?”

“They’ve got him in a room. I haven’t been in yet but they gave him epinephrine in the ambulance and they’re gonna want to keep him overnight.”

Eddie nodded, “How did he even get peanuts?”

“We went to get ice cream after we went to the zoo and I didn’t realize there were nuts in the sundae until after he started reacting. I’m sorry Eddie.”

“Buck it’s not your fault, you didn’t know. He’s okay now and that’s what matters.”

“Are you guys with Christopher Diaz?” a nurse asked when he approached.

“Yes.”

“He’s stable and everything looks great. We’re gonna keep him overnight for observation but he should be good to go in the morning. You can go see him now.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said before he and Buck speed walked down the hall to his son's room. 

Christopher was in the bed, hooked to an iv looking a little out of it, but he still lifted his arms to his father when he saw him.

“Hi mijo,” Eddie scooted into the bed, lifting Christopher gently to hold him in his lap. “How do you feel?”

“My throat is itchy,” he whined.

“I'm sure it is buddy. The medicine they gave you will help with that.”

“I couldn't breathe daddy. I was scared,” he tucked his face into Eddie’s shoulder and he held him close, cradling that back of his head with one hand. 

“I know but Buck said you were so brave even when they gave you a shot. I’m proud of you kiddo.”

“Do I have to stay dad?”

“Just for tonight. We can go home in the morning.”

“Eddie give me the keys, I’m gonna run home and grab us some clothes. I know you don’t want to spend the night in your uniform.”

Eddie fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them off, “Thanks Buck.”

“I'll be right back Christopher. Do you want anything from home?”

“My bear.”

“You got it kiddo.”

At the house, Buck rounded up clothes for himself and Eddie and ducked into Christopher’s room to get him clothes and his bear. Buck smiled fondly as he picked up the bear and hugged it for a minute.

He and Eddie had taken Chris to Build-A-Bear as a treat for getting all As on his last report card. Chris had picked out a fluffy black bear and dressed it in a firefighter uniform. He slept with the thing every night.

He tossed their bags in the backseat of Eddie’s truck and buckled the bear into the passenger seat next to him, knowing Christopher would want him to.

When he arrived at the hospital Chris was fast asleep, still propped up in Eddie’s arms. 

Buck changed into comfy clothes first, then switched places with Eddie, gingerly shifting Christopher into his arms and tucking the bear into his hands. Christopher snuggled it in his sleep, pressing his nose to the soft fur.

When Eddie emerged from the bathroom he slid onto the other side of the bed. Hospital beds weren’t really made for two six foot men and one very lanky eight year old but they made it work. Both of them wanted to be close to their kid.

“Thanks for taking care of him today,” Eddie whispered as they settled in to sleep.

“It was kinda my fault.”

“Hey don’t do that. It was a mistake Buck, I told you that. And no one blames you.”

Buck nodded, “First thing tomorrow I’m going to get his damn epi-pen.”

“Good plan.”