#which was probably the turning point of he and Benny's relationship tbh

[wander-over-the-words]

I can't draw em yet but just know that Benny and Ethan are the embodiment of that new-ish ship meme where one has the beautiful brown eyes (Benny) while the other is staring into your soul (Ethan)

the plot twist of course is that Mr. Gorgeous Brown Eyes over there is the asshole of the relationship while Mr. You'll Feel Like You Just Met Death Because This Guy Stared At You is actually a sweetheart

[raspberry-gloaming]

I'm currently at a point where because I've got into Gallifrey, I follow or have at least browsed people's blogs who love other dweu stuff. And I thought it might be fun to say what I currently think and know about eu characters/companions so when I have in the future delved deeper into the eu I can look back and compare and laugh and see how much is accurate! There's gonna be a "read more" here because this gonna get Long.

Also please let me know what I've got right and not and also tell me more about these characters if you are fans of them!

Benny: starting off strong i know some stuff about her! she's an archeologist from the future (wonder if she ever met River) and she travelled with... one of the doctor(s)? Possibly Seven? She is besties with Brax and sometimes works for him and his collection. Probably must be able to put up with bullshit because of those last two points. Has a husband called Jason and at least one kid, which, iconic, female adventure and action protagonists should get to be mums more often its always the childfree so big up Benny for that. made a cameo at the end of Gallifrey IV.

Evelyn: I have heard her. A little. I basically skipped through the apocalypse element because I wanted to understand some of the reasons that Romana is the way she is in Gallifrey, but didn't listen properly because I got bored. Is an old lady, which is great - its great to see ages mixing it up a bit, instead of the 19-25 year old girl primary companions we consistently get in nu-who. Travelled with Six and is/was a professor at a university. Not sure for which subject though.

Fitz: Canonically bisexual and wears a leather jacket. I've seen A Lot of shipping him and Eight, and these shippers seem to have a similar vibe to Two/Jamie shippers. I don't know much else, except that his time with the doctor is probably fucked up because from what I have gleaned, Eight's companions Go Through It like big time.

Compassion: Faction Paradox which I believe is in an alternate universe (also the faction paradox timelines seem to have have a different vibe of names to the main universe ones, every time I'm on the "Individual Time Lords" category on the wiki and see a name that seems out of place it turns out to be a character from Faction Paradox.) Is a person (human i think?) but is also a TARDIS? Like you can go into her and travel? Where tf is the door this is very cursed. Also used as a breeding machine to make more TARDISes as well? By Romana? Idk but this seems pretty fucked up in an icky way. And fucked up in a non-icky way too. I'm just confused tbh. Not sure which doctor is involved in this one.

C'rizz - Possibly people can't say his name right? Is that him? Alien boy, travelled with Eight and Charley. That's about all I know.

Chris Cwej: I know even less about him, hes the other possibility for people mixing up his name or something. Think he travelled with Seven. Idk why but he gives me dick vibes.

Hex Schofield: Travelled with Ace and Seven. Is from 2021 or something and says "sus." Which yh that was a thing but he was made before among us existed that's a cool coincidence that it turned out like that.

Liv and Helen: They exist. That's it I know nothing more.

Molly O'Sullivan: Also exists. Travelled with eight?

Charley Pollard: Has a Nazi for a sister - Blind Eye my beloved. Calls herself Edwardian even though she's from the 1930s, idk if its like a character point or an accidental fuck up by the writers. Has a romance with the doctor in some form. And also a pretty messed up relationship with him i think. Actually just a pretty messed up time. Especially because I think she was in Scherzo which I hear Wild Blue Yonder was inspired by. So good luck girl you're gonna need it.

[perlukafarinn]

I posted two polls yesterday, asking who is your favorite potential love interest for Dean besides Cas and vice versa. I’ve tallied the votes for both polls and reblogged them with the results and some commentary but I thought it’d be nice to gather them in one post, plus some extra thoughts from me below the cut.

Potential love interests for Dean:

Benny (116). And yes, correct.

Cassie (77). Also correct. A few of you pointed out that Dean should have gone to her in season six instead of Lisa and are you wrong?

Victor (34). Tbh I wasn’t expecting Victor in the top three but I am very happy with all of you!

No one (28). Very Cas coded of you, very sexy.

Crowley (25). This is the one I feel like the character in question would be the most upset about. Only number 5??

Bela (13). I’d also like to interject that demon!Dean/demon!Bela should have happened.

Lee (8). Good for him, I guess.

Jo (5). I don’t know if I’m surprised by Jo’s ranking or not.

Donna (4). This one had a lot of support when her first episode aired, if I remember correctly.

Tessa (3). Good for her, I guess.

The rest got either one or two votes. With two we’ve got: Aaron (surprised he didn’t get more), Anna, Ash, Cain (very disappointed he didn’t get more), Deacon, Garth, Ketch (uhhh), Rhonda Hurley.

One vote: Balthazar, Daphne (lowkey feel like the two people who picked them read the question wrong), Donnie, Lisa (I also don’t know whether to be surprised by this ranking or not. On the one hand she’s Dean’s longest running textual love interest. On the other, they kinda forgot to give her a personality beyond ‘love interest’ and ‘mother’), Lydia (????), Me (lmao), Michael, Mick (also ???), Robin, Ronald (ngl I had to look him up), Sam (😶), Sarah Blake (this voter did admit they might be projecting) The Impala if it turned into a guy (this one might have the most canon support), That one hot desk officer from season 1 you know the one I mean (I don’t).

Potential love interests for Cas:

No one (33). I was expecting this option to be high up but not number one! Quite a few people specified he should be a single parent but what I really appreciate are the few of you who wrote dissertations in the tags on why this makes sense for Cas’ character.

Meg (26). Correct and very sexy.

Mick (25). I’ve seen like one episode with Mick so idgi but good for him!

Balthazar (6). Thought he’d get way more votes?? Idk might be my bias speaking.

Sam (6). Love the one of you who specified that Cas should not like him back.

Luca (4). Okay so there is a canon character named Luca who is a priest but I’m pretty sure y’all mean the Luca from In the Shadow of your Wings by ao3 user Enochian Things, who is also a priest (esp since a couple of you did say he’s not a canon character) and who actually meets Cas.

Benny (3). It should be noted that two out of three of you wanted to include Dean in this ship.

Crowley (3). Just as with Dean’s list, he’d be very insulted by placing so low.

Hannah (3). Hannah got three votes, two specifying in a male vessel and one just specifying “trans”.

Kelly (3). Makes sense, as she is the mother of his child and they have a friendly relationship. Also makes sense this didn’t get more votes since they have no chemistry and she is a republican.

These all got two votes: Djinn queen, Me, Pastor Sexy.

And now, a special category of those with one vote from people I’m pretty sure read the question wrong: Cassie, Lisa, Ash, Victor.

Another special category of Dean alternates who got one vote but don’t count because they’re still Dean: AU Dean, Amnesia Dean, Dean Smith.

And the rest all got one vote: Dabb-era OC, Hypothetical guy from centuries ago (from one of those times Cas’ mind got wiped), Jesus Christ (asdjifsdkl), Miguel from The Love Story of the Runner-Up by ao3 user Margo_Kim, Sergei (???), That angel dude who wanted him for his hands (okay who and what episode).

Okay so what jumped out to me immediately was “no one” topping Cas’ list (it placed pretty high on Dean’s list but Benny, Cassie and Victor still beat that option handily). 

A lot of people straight up did not like the thought of Cas with someone else (very Dean coded of them) but a lot of others just couldn’t picture it. Which I think can be attributed to none of Cas’ relationships with others being all that developed on the show, besides with Jack which is obviously not romantic. Tbh there aren’t a lot of deeply developed relationships on Supernatural that don’t include Sam or Dean (and lbr, mostly Dean).

People were also explaining their choices a lot more in the Cas poll. Idk what that means but I just thought it was interesting. There also wasn’t a consensus on Cas’ sexuality; while Meg and other female characters got votes a lot of other voters said they see him as gay and can’t picture him with a woman.

Most delightfully surprising result: Cassie taking second place! Honestly, it’s what she deserves. And Victor in third! The taste! 

Most expected result: Benny winning the Dean poll in a landslide.

Most surprising low placement: Balthazar only getting six votes in Cas’ poll. I thought this ship was more popular but that’s probably my bias speaking since I happen to like it.

Funniest vote: Those three of you who wanna shoot your shot with Dean/Cas. Go for it, I’m rooting for you!

Favorite specification on a vote: “Meg in a deeply lavender marriage way”

[hello-em75]

TAGGED BY: my musk ox @chiefhiccstrid and @winxrus ! thanks guys!

last

drink: jasmine milk tea with boba! so goooood

phone call: my mom 

text message: my babe @chiefhiccstrid ;)

song you listened to: “eastside” by halsey, khalid, and benny blanco 

time you cried: two days ago when i watched inside out (how do you not tear up when bing bong sacrifices himself like he’s my hero)

ever

dated someone twice: well i haven’t dated someone once SOOO 

kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet loll

been cheated on: in my head yes JK 

lost someone special: i probably thought they were pretty special at the time, but then realized that they really weren’t all that

been depressed: no fortunately. i’ve had my bouts of sadness and loneliness more often than i’d like to admit, but i’ve always been surrounded by a loving family and i have my extra special best friend who always reminds me of how much i’m loved so i’m pretty blessed <333

gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet LMAO

fave color: i always say blue, but i’m always in some neutral color so probably gray, white, or black if it really came down to it

in the last year have you

made new friends: yep! and i’m incredibly thankful for them 

fallen out of love: if you mean an unhealthy level of infatuation then hells yes 

laughed until you cried: luckily yes

found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but it wasn’t anything bad so we’re good 

met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say they changed me, but @chiefhiccstrid has definitely brought out nothing but the best in me since we’ve become friends, and i’m eternally grateful for that and her 

found out who your friends are: eh, i guess? we’re still “friends” in the sense that there’s still a strong sense of familiarity and trust among us all but they’re not the people i turn to first in the way that friends do

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no kisses yet

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them pretty much

do you have any pets: nope! and it kills me every day

do you want to change your name: i used to think it was pretty basic, but now i can’t imagine myself with another one

what did you do for your last birthday: i was in las vegas with family and my dad’s friend’s family! i remember eating sushi, taking a solid nap in our hotel room, eating a overpriced and frankly not worth it “thanksgiving” dinner, opening presents, and eating cake lol

what time did you wake up today: around 10 AM LOLL

what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 

what is something you can’t wait for: httyd: thw (obviously) and graduating high school! 

what are you listening to right now: unfortunately, a spotify ad 

have you ever talked to a person named tom: only in my dreams bc tom holland and i are tight af in my head.

something that gets on your nerves: i could air out my laundry list here, but i’ll go with ignorant and narrow-minded people 

most visited website: i honestly don’t know between tumblr, ff.net, or one of my school websites that i have to go to everyday to get a good grade lol

hair color: it used to be a dark brown, but i got a balayage treatment done last year so it’s still brown but has streaks of blonde now too!

long or short hair: aggressively long but i honestly love it

what do you like about yourself: if looking externally, probably my eyes because that’s something people consistently compliment me on. if looking inwardly for something i like about myself (which is definitely harder), probably my sense of humor and go with the flow attitude towards most things lol

want any piercings: i have one set of piercings in my ears, but i kind of want to get another one in my ears to make it two sets!

blood type: i honestly don’t know and neither do my parents (without looking at any of my documents) so if i ever needed blood we’d be in real trouble hehe

nicknames: em is the main one, but pretty much everyone calls me emily irl.

relationship status: a questionably happy single ngl

zodiac: sagitarrius

pronouns: she/her

fave tv shows: race to the edge, voltron, trollhunters, queer eye, and the crown

tattoos: none yet! but i’m leaning towards getting one when i’m old enough to!

right or left handed: right-handed

ever had surgery: thankfully nope

piercings: only in my ears

sport: i probably would be okay at most of them if i was at all fast but nope lol

I have practiced: piano, violin, clarinet, and guitar (which i eventually all quit). 

vacation: gosh, i want to go all over the world because i’ve pretty much traveled only in the us and canada in my lifetime thus far SO LETS INTERNATIONALLY TRAVEL

trainers: if this is relevant to sneakers, then yes i have had them in the past year. but if not, then i have no clue LOL.

more general

eating: nothing atm

drinking: nothing atm

about to watch: nothing, because i should be asleep at 2 AM haha

waiting for: httyd: thw and money to fall in my lap so i can go visit all of my rad httyd fandom friends and not be fucking broke going into college

want: happiness? lasting love? a sense of security? success? is this too deep for this question bc i went there LOL

want to get married: definitely one day!

career: nothing yet! still have to graduate hs and go through college first

which is better

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: for a relationship, i would rather them be older then younger

nice arms or stomach: arms

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: oof can there be somewhere in between?

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope

drunk hard liquor: psh i’m not that cool jk

lost glasses: yes, but always after i get new ones luckily

turned someone down: yes, but still not 100% sure if they were joking or not when asking me out so maybe no?

sex on first date: nah that’s not really me

broken someone’s heart: gosh i sure hope not

had your heart broken: at the time i probably saw it that way

been arrested: not yet lmao

cried when someone died: if we’re talking about stoick then yes LOL

fallen for a friend: nope! at most they’ve been acquaintances or surface-level friends tbh

do you believe in

yourself: it changes on the daily

miracles: hmm i guess? like i believe that they can happen, but i wouldn’t pray for one or hope for one if there’s a way i can take to achieving something myself if that makes sense

love at first sight: attraction yes, “love” is a hard no

santa claus: at one point in time i did, but not now

kiss on a first date: it really depends on the date and who the guy is 

angels: yes

others

best friend’s name: stefanie :))))))

eye color: hazel

fave movie: httyd/httyd2, spiderman homecoming, mulan, princess and the frog, the incredibles, and probably more bc i’m brainfarting atm

fave actors: tom holland, chris evans, america ferrera, andree vermeulen, jay baruchel, lana condor, noah centineo, awkwafina, gemma chan, anna kendrick, and probably a whole bunch more that i’m blanking on lol

TAGGING: @involuntarydiaphragmspasm , @fanaticfangirl2602 , @astridthevalkyrie , @drchee5e , @hotccup , @howtodrawyourdragon , @ashleybenlove , @whosthatgal , @knowerofuselessfacts , @evilwriter37, @lutavero and anyone else who wants to do it! 

[elizabethrobertajones]

i love jack a lot but i don't get everyone's excitement about dean eventually adopting him. like why would you want to force him into another parental role with a kid with unstable powers JUST when he's escaping his role with sam? i'm not accusing you or anything i'm just really really frustrated at fandom's mentality

Yeah, there’s some good posts around discussing the various metaphorical and direct representations of the bad family dynamics going on here. I think it’s possible to enjoy and dislike the same thing from different angles. I LOVE Jack choosing Cas as his father and setting his personal compass by Cas. It’s perfect. But for Cas’s sake I’m genuinely skeeved out by it because of the way Jack(’s powers) latched onto him from the womb and that it is basically what I figured all along - that Jack himself is an innocent sweetie pie because he has a soul and he is therefore gifted free will and a blank slate to be what he wants and is at the very least not inherently evil… 

But his powers still did something because of his increased awareness and powers in the womb that I don’t like, which is… convincing… Cas to be his guardian. Cas being forced into the dynamic is one of the metaphorical parallels to the brothers’ issues which I’ve enjoyed the meta about, because of course Cas can still love Jack and all and have meant it because I don’t think he wasn’t acting from the heart in 12x23 because have you met Cas, that was a classic example of his heart on display. And I’m actually hoping they do have a sweet dynamic when Cas gets back. But I still don’t like HOW it happened, in the exact same way I really dig sweet moments between Sam and Dean which don’t have the complicated baggage, but I can still be uncomfortable about romanticising other parts of their relationship, and critical of how Dean was forced to parent Sam… 

So yeah. Anyway, I think the thing with Dean and Jack is that it’s the goal - Sam already likes Jack and wants to give him a chance. Cas has his connection to him already and it’s unlikely he’ll hate Jack on his return :P Dean is not wrong to be upset and critical based on the information he has like @k-vichan‘s post I just recently reblogged was explaining (Sam hasn’t even told him on camera that Jack said that Cas is his father which means until we get past the point of disbelief that he hasn’t said it off-camera that’s still something we might find out later from Dean’s POV to affect how he feels about him. Although I’m usually careful not to get over-attached to what hasn’t been said on camera in case the writers start assuming it’s obvious they shared it and leave an emotional gap… But this is such a big thing it might HAVE to be said on screen or else be a gap.)

Like… Obviously the emotional hook for “coming to like Jack” is something that falls on Dean to have while the others are already seeming to be clear on it. He’s the obstacle - the thing standing between Jack and a happy families thing (so it might be a long haul or Dean is just starting to warm up when things go bad either with Cas’s return or something that happens with Jack for what will be a frankly bizarre season if they don’t tease him ~going dark~ to test him at some point). It’s like a will they won’t they on Dean liking Jack :P 

And I think that in this case it’s not forcing anything on Dean when he comes to NATURALLY adopt random youngins and other hapless friends (like Garth, tbh :P) but that he has to want to do it and it is something he does instinctively because he’s a nurturer and has a caring soul. Maybe because of the Sam stuff but it’s not weird when he does it to, like, Krissy or something. It’s one of his softer traits but in this case it has mytharc relevance, since Jack is, WE can tell, really sweet, but Dean is in no position to see him for what he is, which may compromise them looking after him, and even if Jack is sweet and squishy right now, he has cosmic powers and intentionally or not he’s going to be dangerous on a huge level even if it’s just for drawing attention. I think Dean coming to like him will play a big part in reconciling this whole situation just because he’s the one who instinctively doesn’t like Jack already. And that’s something where he’s messed up with grief and hasn’t seen anything to convince him Jack isn’t a problem, so it’s set up to be a bigger struggle for him.

And that probably also plays into Dean as the emotional centre of the show - that Sam is usually dealing with the plot stuff head on, while Dean is the filter we struggle with it through. I think Dean not trusting Jack is another way of drawing out uncertainty and tension about Jack in the narrative. Is Sam wrong to trust him? Is there still something hinky between Jack and Cas? Will Jack turn bad? Even if it’s seeming quite clear that Jack is not as bad as Dean thinks by far, and Sam’s made the right call here, to go with his confidence in leadership and standing up for himself arc, playing the reconciliation to Jack’s presence in their lives through Dean is giving us (or, well, the surface level read of the show, which I pay as much attention to as I can out of curiosity as a writer about stringing appearances and cheap drama out of more complex stories and I watch the episodes from the POV of “what is the show trying to tell us” before “what can I read into this”) a more drawn out exploration of who and what Jack is and the conclusion on what his character can be. 

And I think that means Dean will be challenging Jack too, and always probably be more on the side of checking if he really is what he seems or second-guessing his actions etc. It will give Jack something to grow and fight against, especially since people HATE letting Dean down and Dean is the moral centre of the show when it comes to love, humanity, what is the right thing to do, the free will choice, just generally a beacon of these themes. If Jack has to win Dean’s approval, it’s going to be a complex and satisfying story and a good way of proving we can definitively trust him. Not because Sam makes bad choices or because Jack doesn’t already seem like a good guy, but just because Dean has Standards which are so high you can define and navigate the story by them. Like Cas rebelling in 4x22. Or on the flip side, 6x20.

This is all kinda wishy washy stuff for later in the season that what we already have, though, and I don’t know how thoroughly others have thought it through or if I am missing some really obvious lines of thought here myself, but I don’t think the instinctive reaction that people are wishing Dean adopts Jack is all just forcing a new child on him, or that people think Dean shouldn’t come to that choice himself, and approve of Jack for real reasons. One of the short posts out there about it that I like is a line of spec that Dean will start to like Jack after he does a Benny - does something to save or help Cas that Dean can’t deny Jack is good any more after seeing. That’s not just wishing another child to look after on Dean, that’s a complicated series of Dean recognising Jack’s potential to be good and understanding him better or now having a motivation to reach out to him. 

And I do personally find it kind of creepy to be super gung ho about Jack as any of their children - Cas for the reasons I already said although I like it for Jack and would be open to Cas being cool with it :P But Sam and Dean as well because I think there’s a lot of point scoring going on with who gets to parent Jack like it’s a token or trophy for them, unlocking a whole bunch of parent headcanons and also, and I know it’s weird to say about a 1 day old baby, infantilising Jack. I think he’s already starting to get an idea of the more complex stuff and a lot of his literal born yesterday mannerisms will disappear as he gets older, since he has an adult intellect to deal with the world, so I’m very curious about his character growth. 

I think it’s just a fandom thing to be eager for the main characters you care about to have fun relationships and the idea of just giving them a kid can be appealing to some people, but it kinda weirds me out. I saw a gifset of the father reveal to Sam captioned with “Sam realises he’s an uncle” and I like that a lot more because it emphasises his brother relationship to Cas, and puts Jack in that context to him. I think since Jack said Cas is his father, “parenting” just means “we are responsible for guiding this young soul” not “I will be his father” and Sam and Dean are basically his uncles, not surrogate fathers, and I’m pretty much just gonna treat it that way, personally, since it’s less skeevy to me. That’s a YMMV thing, though, so I’m not saying you can’t enjoy the dad TFW stuff, I just don’t wanna :P 

(The Claire stuff was different since they didn’t have a whole bunch of responsibility over her and the episodes she was in never made it weird, and it was a side storyline… With this it’s all such high tension it sort of feels to me like I need to draw much stronger lines, especially since with all the fatherhood parallels some/all of TFW are going to be examined through being John at some point or another… There is a LOT more going on with Jack that makes it complicated and fraught :P)

So… uh… tl;dr… I have no idea if I’m even answering your original thought any more :P Idk about the wider fandom of crack posts and cracky art, but I think the meta folks I follow are not being too weird about it or will at least entertain all the posts being critical or introspective about these dynamics and I think some crack posts are just made in the spirit of fun, though it doesn’t help NOT give the impression everyone’s gaga for dad TFW and not being very considerate of the deep dark meta stuff and character angst going on… :P 

[bentfire]

85 questions game

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @madi-starlight  thanks!! i’m procrastinating and this was a v nice distraction

i’m gonna tag @zoetekohana @zaatanna @puddingmcmuffin @mininjas @fireonallwires @distopianpixie + anyone else who wants to, sry i’m shit at tagging people in these things

the last

01. drink: water

02. phone call: to a local restaurant for food delivery bc i was too lazy to cook

03. text message: one of my friends is obsessed w/ lisa frank so i sent her the link to the lf tarot cards

04. song you listened to: "dinosaur” - akmu

05. time you cried: last week probably. my best friend and i currently aren’t talking and i’ve been taking it pretty hard lately.

06. dated someone twice: yup

07. kissed someone and regretted it: not really

08. been cheated on: yuuuuup

09. lost someone special: my childhood dog, balki. i’ve lost all my grandparents, but none of those hit me anywhere near as hard as my dog, honestly.

10. been depressed: i mean i go through phases where i’m sad? but i think to say i was depressed would be embellishing it.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: almost every time tbh. unless i’m home drinking alone, then i know when i’ve hit my limit. but if i’m out with friends i usually don’t realize i’m ~gone until like....... i’m way fuckin gone

3 favourite colours

12. turquoise!!

13. green

14. b l a c k

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: i don’t rly think so

16. fallen out of love: never been in love!

17. laughed until you cried: oh yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you: no! but i wouldn’t be surprised if my coworkers do lmao

19. met someone who changed you: nnnnnno

20. found out who your friends are: regrettably

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup!

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the vast majority of them? i don’t use fb anymore but i honestly don’t think i added anyone on there i hadn’t met. OH there’s a few tumblr friends on there, but i think only three maybe that i haven’t actually met.

23. do you have any pets: yep! a dog, khloe.

24. do you want to change your name: i used to?? i mean. i’m not in love with my name. heather is kinda ..... lame tbh. but i mostly go by nicknames so it doesn’t bother me too much

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything, actually. 

26. what time did you wake up: noon. ooops. but i didn’t fall asleep until almost 5am soooo

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably working out. that’s usually the time of night i finally force myself to lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: young justice!!!!! getting my hair/cut dyed in a couple days! i ordered new glasses and i’m excited for those to come in!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a year and a half ago

31. what are you listening to right now: the crickets chirp 

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i work in a retail pharmacy so yaaaaa probably on a daily basis, there’s a zillion ppl named tom/thomas

33. something that is getting on your nerves: blogs w/ impossible to find back buttons!! i’m trying to scroll through your blog like pls don’t make me work for it

34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, ulta

35. hair color: blonde

36. long or short hair: medium?? it’s a couple inches past my collarbone

37. do you have a crush on someone: vaaaaguely. there’s a dude i semi-work with and he’s just so gosh darn nice?? he’s coming back to work with us for a few days and its Glaringly Fucking Obvious to my coworkers i like him so when head boss dude told me he was coming back he announced it in front of allllll my coworkers so they could laugh at how badly i blushed. i hate that i’m fucking obvious!!! but at least he doesn’t know lmao

38. what do you like about yourself: i like to think i’m pretty funny. also my hair. eyes. booty. not to be totally self-involved but tbh i really love my toosh.

39. piercings: two in each ear and a nose ring!

40. blood type: i probably bleed kpop at this point

41. nickname: benny, peetah, pikachu, little bit

42. relationship status: single, thank fuck. i like my freedom too much.

43. zodiac: libra.

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: AVATAR: THE LAST DAMN AIRBENDER, young justice, voltron (i hate putting voltron next to those two though bc no offense but like....... voltron could never ever compare to how glorious a:tla/yj are)

46. tattoos: none! i’m debating getting one before my bday in october though

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: i had my gall bladder removed when i was 15

50. sport: i was a goalie in soccer for years!

51. vacation: like dream vacation?? australia. california. vegas. seoul. 

52. pair of trainers: apparently trainers = tennis shoes????? idek these things. i have a white pair of keds that i wear almost daily bc work

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: the last thing i ate was a couple apple slices?? idk what this is asking

54. drinking: waaaater

55. I’m about to: try to get some sleep

56. waiting for: sleepiness to hit me tbh

57. want: money. to kiss a pretty girl. to have my own house.

58. get married: maybe? i honestly can’t imagine myself caring about someone enough to wanna marry them though. and if i ever did no wedding pls thanks.

59. career: pharmacy technician!

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs

61. lips or eyes: lips

62. shorter or taller: TALLER tho it aint hard bc im way too short

63. older or younger: i guess older? 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hookup or relationship: iiiiiii guess relationship? 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker duh

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: i don’t think so

68. drank hard liquor: yaaaa

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. turned someone down: yupyup

71. sex on the first date: lmao yes

73. had your heart broken: i’m currently mourning the loss of question 72 so yes?? but truthfully yeah. i wouldn’t say my heart was broken as that’s melodramatic af. but there was a dude i could’ve really seen myself falling for and it didn’t pan out and that was probably the saddest i’ve ever been over anyone.

74. been arrested: nope. but i have been pulled over by the cops five times in one night. four?? maybe it was four times idk

75. cried when someone died: my dog, yeah. 

76. fallen for a friend: i’ve had crushes but def never fallen.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: sometimes

78. miracles: not really

79. love at first sight: lust, yeah. love, nope.

80. santa claus: nope

81. kiss on the first date: i actually used to be anti-anything on the first date, but that’s mostly bc it takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough around them to do anything. but the last girl i dated i did literally everything with on the first date so ?????? guess that shits out the door

82. angels: not so much

OTHER:

84. eye colour: mine?? blue. kind of a greyish blue.

85. favourite movie: the first thing that came to mind was ‘forgetting sarah marshall’ tbh

[whatevertheywant]

My Bisexual Opinion: ABBA Edition

I saw where another blogger had discussed several different ABBA songs, and given the general happiness the announcement today has given me,I’m gonna discuss some favorites of mine as well

1. Super Trouper- My favorite ABBA song! There’s something uniquely intimate yet still still fun and upbeat about it. I love Anni-Frid’s voice so much and how well she and Agnetha harmonize <3 <3 <3 My favorite lyrics are “I’ll be there when you arrive// the sight of you will prove to me I’m still alive//And when you take me in your arms and hold me tight// I know it’s gonna mean so much tonight” Everything from the backing vocals to the composition to the ladies’ always flawless voices is just so on point! Also, I totally want Anni-Frid’s jumper from the music video

2. The Winner Takes It All- A close second favorite. Oh my sweet lord! This song doesn’t get the love it deserves by a long shot. Like...sweet mother of emotional vulnerability! I know Bjorn says that he didn’t write this song about his and Agnetha’s divorce, but there had to at least be a touch of those feelings that went into it. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been, at least initially for Agnetha to know Bjorn wrote the words she was singing. You can definitely feel the raw emotion she put into it. I know the divorce was particularly hard on her. (The Meryl Streep version really puts my heart through the ringer, but I digress). There are too many examples of amazing, heart-wrenching lyrics to list them all, but the biggest gut punch is probably “And I understand...//You’ve come to shake my hand// I apologize if it makes you feel bad// Seeing me so tense// No self-confidence” then the last chorus. I just want to hug her and tell her it will all be okay.

3. Dancing Queen- An absolute bop! I don’t want to say it’s overrated because it is definitely deserving of its popularity, but I hate that the U.S. kind of slept on ABBA because they were thought to be purely a disco band because of it. Anyway, I actually sang this song for karaoke at an event a couple days ago. It’s so fun and easy to sing along to! You can’t help but feel at least a little better after you listen to it. I’m disappointed that no one sent me this song or sang it to me when I turned 17 tbh. I also associate this song with a disco tape my fourth grade teacher played for us all day every day (Yes, in the year 2005 A.D., the year of our lord. Someone always had to go flip it at least once a day.) Benny coming through with the piano! Everyone is obviously enjoying themselves.

4. Lay All Your Love On Me- Yaaaaas Angetha! Also an absolute bop! I have this song on a spotify playlist for my fiancee. I love the beat as well as the lyrics! It’s very much a mood when you’re falling fast for someone but haven’t quite made things exclusive with them yet. The subject is familiar enough for everyone to relate, but the lyrics are unique that they don’t fall through the cracks as just another vintage pop love song. “And I’m possessive. It isn’t nice// You heard me saying that smoking was my only vice// But now it isn’t true// Now, everything is you//”. Like, hell yes, intensity and love while acknowledging jealousy isn’t a cutesy part of a relationship but still natural! 

5. Mamma Mia!- Here I go again! Another fun crowd song. That piano and guitar intro/outro is just so I C O N I C. Usually,I focus more on lyrics than music as a writer, but the music is what makes this song unique and great to me. The arrangement is just. so. GOOD. The boys really brought their game to this one on all fronts. I do also love the lyrics. Very solid song, very easy to relate to. I also like the ambiguity that the song ends on. Did she go back to the guy or not? That’s the lack of resolution makes it all the more addictive imo.

6. Does Your Mother Know?- LET BJORN ULVAEUS SING LEAD MORE. I love,love, love the girls, but I need more Bjorn lead vocals! He’s a great singer, and this is such a fun, flirty song.  I like that it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and there’s something amusing about the mental image of young Bjorn at a bar trying to have this conversation with a barely legal fan that’s probably throwing herself at him.

7. Thank You For The Music- I love the simplistic style of this one. It’s possibly the sweetest songs the band has ever released. At some point, everyone has thought or said, “No, ABBA, thank YOU for the music!” It really was the perfect way to say goodbye (thank fuck they came back though!). It leaves you with a sadness that is still warm and fuzzy, like watching a friend or relative graduate. It would be a good song for a grad slideshow for a music major. And for added cuteness, imagine the home videos there likely are of tiny ABBA members singing and dancing! 

8. I’m a Marionette- My best friend’s favorite ABBA song. It is a grossly underrated one! It can be a little difficult to listen to because both the music and lyrics give off an anxious or frantic feeling, much like one would probably feel being a marionette (Ghost does a good cover of this one.). The music industry is often guilty of meddling with and stifling the creative process, which can make artists feel like puppets more than people. This is another song where the music stands out to me more than the lyrics. Anyone who hears it can see why.

9.  Fernando- I am a sucker for softer sounds. I also love the Spanish influence of the song as a whole. There’s a fond sense of nostalgia. The entire chorus is so sweet and makes you feel like you’re taken back in time along with the singer. Whether you take the song as being about two former lovers remembering being young revolutionaries or the war being metaphorical, it feels like the sweeter side of a bittersweet ending. “Though we never thought that we could lose// There’s no regret// If I had to do the same again// I would, my friend” makes me think of the split between Anni-Frida and Benny (just speculation) and their split possibly being more amicable than Bjorn and Agnetha (given that The Winner Takes It All has any inspiration from their divorce). Very haunting.

10.  Slipping Through My Fingers- (the Mamma Mia! version chokes me up sometimes because I must protect Meryl Streep at all costs) The song can be emotional enough without the creator context,but knowing why Bjorn wrote it makes it more visceral for me. If you don’t know, he wrote it because he  was feeling sad about missing out on so much of his daughter’s life because of how fast she was growing up and how frequently the band was touring. Agnetha sings vocals on this one, which adds to the emotion here. Ouch, right? They both did such a great job on this one! It feels so poignant and authentic. It can tug at the heartstrings of both parents and their daughters. It’s hard to not just post all the lyrics, but here are some of my personal picks from this song: “What happened to the wonderful adventures//The places I had planned for us to go// Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't // And why, I just don't know” and “Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture//And save it from the funny tricks of time (Slipping through my fingers)”

That’s definitely not a complete list of the songs I most enjoy by them, but I figure I rambled enough for a bit. I’m just super excited! I may post more at some point, but if you actually read the whole thing, bless you.

[elizabethrobertajones]

I just watched 10x04 and since I'm taking a billion years to get into the season 10 rewatch and at this point it is clearly my hiatus project, I'm just making an adjacent post about one thing :P

The last line of the episode after much back and forth about if they should be resting up from hunting, taking a break because they're woefully off their game after ~going dark~ and running rampage for months, etc etc, is Dean saying:

DEAN But I am just trying to do the right thing, man, 'cause I'm so sick and tired of doing the wrong one.

I think with hindsight of not just that season but season 11 and 12 too, the last line of the episode basically shows where Dean is for the rest of the show from this point. With his self-reflection on being a demon underway, and that it gave him clarity (as he said in 10x03) to see a lot of their messed up stuff, and after that he doesn't want to fall pray to the darkness (lower case at that point :P) again.

He decides to try the better way here, but he's just completely messed up by the Mark, which was why he couldn't give Kate a fair chance for most of the episode, always being ready to kill her and not giving her the benefit of the doubt - she walks out the episode alive but only because she escaped them, and she's not a friendly monster they could ever count as an ally without an other episode to repair all this damage Dean did.

I think it's showing he's had the learning experience from being a demon, and he's going to try and put it in action as much as possible, but he still can't actually *do* anything about it until he doesn't have the Mark any more. He's so messed up by it that even when he wants to do the right thing and is tired of getting it wrong, in an episode where he should have been all compassion and understanding if he'd actually learned and was able to put it in action...

Side note - not like in 8x04 where he HAD changed because of Purgatory and Benny, and was the one to suggest they let her go... Looks redundant to do this characterisation but the point THERE was just letting a monster go good/bad? but here it's a lot more about the inner darkness - what she did to her sister, that people died as a result of this direct Dean actions with Gadreel parallel thingy she had going on, etc. It was less that she was a monster because I think they would still have let a truly innocent monster live especially if Dean was allowed to see them as innocent, but he was having trouble processing the nuances of that darkness, and because it was so on the nose to what he did and he was embarassed and self-loathing about his actions, he couldn't see her innocence, or her actions as sympathetic, because doing messed up stuff to save your sibling? The kind of crap that turns bad and causes all the darkness he just dealt with.

And I think it might be worth paralleling to Max, in 12x20, how he stopped him in the moment but afterwards was helpless to stop his free will to go do it anyway once they left him behind, and I guess grimly accepting this is what people do when they have access to a magical way to fix dead and dying family...

Anyway. I really like this line because I think it does set up Dean's arc for the next few seasons. In season 10 he's at a serious disadvantage to do anything about it, but the season is full of Dean's coping mechanisms and at least for the first 3/4 going along with anything he thinks might help, and working hard to dig himself out. At the end when he loses hope, he knows the "wrong thing" is sinking back into being demon!Dean, and so before it can happen, he goes to talk to Death and make arrangements to save himself from going back; this line goes right to the end of the season in that way, and I think from the perspective of Dean's characterisation, season 10 is pretty good at keeping on a track; there's STUFF I'd have liked to be explored and think was maybe dropped or not given the attention it needed but what they actually ended up writing, events aside, specifically about how Dean reacted and changed, is pretty clear and well-written.

In season 11 without the Mark, and even with Amara's external threat, he does start trying to change and do better and he's immediately more balanced without it, and trying to make amends. He starts communicating properly after the midseason, and his determination to do the right thing shows with him prioritising Cas in trouble, and eventually the big stadium event talk with Chuck and Amara, he seeks a way that feels RIGHT: the old way of sacrifice might have FIXED things at least in the urgent world is ending need to do something right now way, but in the moment he took the initiative to keep on trying to talk it out and find a way that FELT right. I don't think Dean would EVER talk his way out of sacrificing himself when he believed it was right to do it; that that wasn't selfish motivation to live, but that it felt WRONG to him to end it this way, and that there was a better way to do this, which he found.

And now in season 12 Dean's in a weird place where he's the one who achieved all that doing things right-ness finally and concluded his own personal arc and gained massive experience points, levelling up all sorts of personality traits in the process. And I kind of think that his season has been about trying to do the right thing, especially about the interpersonal relationships, when it comes to everyone and everything around him. Mittens has been keeping a closer eye on this than me, but Dean carries on being right about his gut feeling about many things and is a sort of beacon of what is right, even more than usual (after all, God appointed him to look after the Earth and said he was the best guy for the job). I'm hoping this bears out through the end of the season but at least his feeling about the BMoL is completely true and now firmly proven to others, though we knew longer than HE even did :P

He's also been communicating well, for example the brilliant conversation at the end of 12x10 where he really lays out the truth to Cas about why he's been angry with him, or, well, many times he reaches out to Cas either about their relationship or other stuff... And with Mary, he tried to be open and honest with her as much as he could to start with, especially that conversation about being a hunter at the end of 12x01 - and even when she bolted before he could get to opening up about the really hard stuff. He needed his illusions shattered, which happened at the end of 12x02, and ideally if she'd stayed, after 12x03 they might have had a better talk once he was less stunned by her presence and treating her like the saint!mary he imagined, but she left. He still in contact with her, being shown to be the one who texted her, and was playing Words With Friends, attempting to keep a line open on their relationship even if it now had to be handled at great length and like it was fragile glass with how much she could deal with from them. He was TRYING to rebuild from the ground up, and by constantly being the one reaching out, he's put in the position of being the one holding his arms open on the relationship, again, the one trying to do the right thing, with all the emotional resources available to him. And I think in general has shown a much greater awareness of how other people are doing.

He also starts his frantic Cas panic at the point in several seasons past he was only in the occasionally praying to him or being grumpy that he hadn't called point, moving that whole panic forward to before he gets any hint that something is *actually* wrong, because stuff like Casifer threw him for such a loop and again, 11x23 in the car he makes a point of telling Cas he's understood he doesn't always put him first and can get too head up his arse about his and Sam's problems, so in this season we see him closely attuned to Cas, noticing he sounds weird on the phone and immediately going into the sort of nervous state he was in in season 11 only AFTER he found out Cas was possessed. In 12x19 in the mixtape scene he's started angry as a knee-jerk response, but he doesn't let Cas leave before he's had an extremely open emotional conversation with him, explaining how he feels, which I still frankly can't believe actually happened. (Sadly also showing the different places they're at, with Cas taking this conversation as a sign he HAS to kill Kelly on Dean's behalf to protect him from doing something awful)

TBH even something like the conversation in 12x15 where he casually talks about Lucifer being locked in the cage in front of Crowley counts for him inadvertantly telling Crowley what the RIGHT thing to do was and putting Crowley in a position to sweat about what Dean would think if he knew... (Which has of course not worked out for Crowley, so he's probably glad Dean never KNEW to give him the speech that would now give Dean a free "told you so" even if of course he knows full well he deserves one and he was RIGHT THERE being inadvertently scolded by Dean without him knowing - see what I mean about him being a beacon? :P)

I think it's still trial and error (he gets over-confident about both the Colt and the security of their home despite some really obvious home invasions, starting with Toni getting into the Bunker and shooting Sam at the beginning of the year) but being the emotional POV of the show more than Sam, whose characteristic of being reserved has really shot him in the foot for representing himself the same way, this is his arc - becoming a reliable line through the season of what is the right thing to do, or at least trying to find better ways to do things.

And he's not successful at changing minds but he also has been using emotional maturity in making middle ground (... eventually, in the cases of arguing with Cas and then Mary, needing to have a moment of realisation when he thought she was going to get killed in 12x14) and especially with Sam in 12x15, not fighting openly when it was something that could have caused a massive brother rift, as we've dealt with in many seasons where they disagree and fight. Dean still voiced his issues with everything and made it clear he was going along with it for Sam's sake but he didn't try to stop or argue Sam out of it, just pointed out everything he didn't like about the situation whenever it came up so that Sam knew where he stood about it.

I've seen a few complaints Dean hasn't had much to do all season - Sam either, tbh but that's a separate issue and I'm still at "just let him go scream in the woods for chrissakes" rather than a clear meta picture :P - and I think at least for Dean his arc has been pretty clearly laid out and in almost every episode he's been dealing with it. For example the most Dean-centric episode, 12x11, dealt with his nature that at the end of the day when you take everything else away, Dean saves the day with an innate knowledge of when to act, and that hunting evil is in his blood, but so is a well of kindness and understanding that is behind his sense of right and wrong. Being down in season 10 and having just watched season 9, I remember how *broken* Dean was very clearly, and how his sense of right and wrong was genuinely damaged because, well, there was darkness in him. His sense of justice was damaged, but season 11 showed him conquering it and finding a better way... I think season 12 is showing this in action, which is possibly why he's had this seat in the middle of everything, watching everyone else's actions and moving through the events as the season really just as its emotional narrator as it falls to pieces around him and even Sam goes and takes strong actions like going with Mary to the BMoL in 12x14 and telling Dean he's working with them in 12x16. Anyway I think this season has done an awful lot to sell the weight of Dean's opinion and to build him up like this, and I think it's a really important and validating character arc for him... Although he was technically free of the Mark since season 11, this IS the first season without some dark pull on him since season 9 and though his goodness was made obvious again very quickly in season 11 because we needed to know we could root for him again, I really think this season is building back up his sense of self, and posing it in opposition to the other characters.

(I feel like when the season's over I might revisit this with a detailed look at him vs ALL the other main characters on this thread but for now have a "this is where I'm at anyway" post)