#which was basically the only plan i had going into it

[andivmg]

is it bad i wish people would give examples of how dream is “manipulative”?? because the examples I am seeing right now are just him over explaining himself

tw/ drama, sa mention

i can give you one example but you have to bear with me here, it’s kind of hard to explain through text and i can’t give full context because it would drag other people into it and i don’t want to be messy.

edit: i added a division here bc i don’t want to see all that when scrolling through my blog lol

the following screenshots are taken from a conversation we had in july 2023, where he messaged me after 7 months of no contact and basically tried to make me apologize to him after he ghosted me. i have since blocked him and deleted his number (i had to dig through my friends’ group chat to find these screenshots). the conversation was extremely long and if i wanted to dissect it fully i’d have to make an hour long video on it and and tbh, i don’t care that much so this is what we’re working with.

for at least some context: the “she” being referenced is a former mutual friend who informed me that he had a gf the whole time we were talking (i have since learned that might not have been true but with him who tf knows). The name blocked out is her boyfriend, who is his friend. and the block of text covered is just him yapping and name dropping too many people. also i guess to give him some grace, he had just gotten surgery and told me he was high off pain meds, which is why he was messaging me.

here we go

“your memory is wrong”

this is referencing the day i was told he had a girlfriend. that day, the girl and i went to get our nails done and during that time, she informed me of the situation. as you can see in the message, i had texted him saying that we had those plans that day. he never replied to it. like seriously, that was the last message i ever sent him before blocking him a few weeks later. so, in this context, him saying my “memory is wrong” is textbook gaslighting.

“i swiped to look at to give you the chance to bump it, which you never did.”

now… huh?????? tbh i’m still confused about this bc he’s basically admitting that he didn’t reply to my message after saying that he didn’t ignore me. so, contradicting himself there and making it seem like it was my fault that he didn’t respond.

“you can unblock me on snap”

as we know, he has a history of having conversations with girls and other people exclusively through snapchat in order for him to say whatever he wants because the messages disappear. i guess he had a point there bc here we are. you could see this in his favor, but i see it as a way for him to avoid any accountability whatsoever for the shit he says. he was trying to move the conversation over to snapchat, i guess to avoid exactly what is happening now: evidence of him being a slimy little shit.

“I was the only one actively trying to keep you in the friend group despite even backlash from others for it”

now this one just pissed me off at the time. after getting out of an abusive relationship (which all of our friends knew about btw) everyone continued to hang out with my ex instead of me because: a) clout and b) they had been friends with him longer. here, he tried to make it seem like he was doing me this huge favor by still talking to me and “keeping me in the group” (which he didn’t btw). now, at this point he already knew about my sa, he knew about all the shit that happened in the relationship, and he still wanted me to be in a friend group with the man who put me through all of that, his other friends, who made super weird sexual comments about me on multiple occasions, and other people who enabled all that shit. then, he tried to make it seem like he was doing me a favor. insane and manipulative.

i hope this helped, anon. i kinda had to relive some shit in order to provide this for you but i think it’s the only example i could give from my situation in which he was being manipulative. i think these are pretty good examples and i hope it wasn’t too confusing without all the context.

[silverbrain]

Eepy Activities

Summary- sleepy Zayne is so tired he's basically sleeptalking

It had been a particularly trying week for Zayne. Monday and Tuesday had been flooded with sudden emergencies and the talk he had to give on Wednesday only added to the stress. Sure, Zayne loved his job. He’d never complain, but you could see how tired he was getting, in the way he’d fall asleep as soon as he lay down at night.

It was finally Friday evening, which meant Zayne had a half day. He comes home from the gym enthusiastically, entering the apartment and calling out to you immediately.

“Where are you?”, he sings, a bit dramatically. You peer out from the couch where you had been scrolling away on your phone, the screen lights nearly lulling you to sleep.

“Someone’s happy to be back”, you say, amusedly.

“Of course, I am. I get to see you”, Zayne says as he crosses the carpeted floor to envelope you in a hug. The fresh smell of his shampoo wafts up to your nose briefly.

You quickly make plans for dinner and decide to watch a movie that you had both been wanting to watch for a while. Zayne even suggests helping you cook, even though you try to tell him to sit down and rest after his week.

“I feel fine, really”, he assures.

You know he’s moving on sheer willpower and you’re kind of waiting for the crash. It always comes eventually. Once a week, whenever his odd hours let him, Zayne would sleep for hours. Sometimes 9, sometimes 12. Yet, he always refused to take rest unless his body took it for him.

You eat a dinner of pasta and chicken breast. Zayne makes sure to comment on the amazing quality of your cooking as he devours the food. Soon after, you’re settling in, in your cozy bed in your pajamas, anticipating a good movie and a cozy night.

You skitter around in the room, drinking some water and doing a few end-of-the-day tasks as Zayne sits in the bed, blanket already on his legs, glasses askew. He’s trying to multitask looking at something on his phone and the television screen, peering through the top of his glasses as he alternates between the two. A small smile appears on your face at his cuddly appearance.

“Let me just wash my face and then I’ll be there”

“Okay”, Zayne smiles at you, before going back to searching for the movie.

A few minutes pass. You’d taken a bit longer than usual, peering at yourself in the mirror, wondering if that new skincare product you had bought was working. You return to find him slumped against the headboard, remote still in hand, breathing lightly. You creep into bed slowly, carefully trying not to wake him up, as you take the remote from his hands. He hardly reacts at all, probably spiraling slowly into the depths of sleep.

You sigh as you switch the screen off. You couldn’t find it in you to wake him up, when he was looking so soft and sleepy. The movie could wait. Still feeling incredibly awake, you decide to read the novel you had been putting away for a while.

A good few minutes of reading pass. Beside you, Zayne has quietly slipped off the headboard to lie in the mattress, his body giving in to much needed sleep. He turns once, to lie on his chest, hands below the pillow. You cast him a look. He was hardly a restless sleeper, but it seemed like the tiredness was getting to him.

Then, you hear a quiet hum. Your eyebrow quirks in surprise as you look over to him, wondering if he was having a nightmare. It didn’t seem like it, because Zayne simply mumbled something that sounded like a question. “…palpitions?”

You curiously focus on his lips, as he seems to be asking about something. He furrows his brow a little, the same way he does when he’s thinking deeply.

“What’s wrong?”, you ask softly, taking care not to wake him up.

“pal…tions”, he sighs.

Huh? Is he dreaming about his patients? You reach out to press your thumb against his furrowed brow. His frown dissolves instantly and he seems to have lost track of his dream, nuzzling his face deeper into the pillow.

You run you hand through his soft hair a few times before getting back to reading your book, before you hear Zayne shuffling around to lie on his back. He pulls the blanket up to his chest as he does it, leaving his arms above the blanket. You giggle a little. He looks like the perfect stock photo of ‘sleep’.

He sleeps peacefully for a few minutes, and you focus your attention back to your book, getting lost in the fantasy world the author has weaved. You look over to him, only to find him sleeping with both his hands raised.

You nearly jolt at the strange sight.  His left hand extends high up in the air, poised as if holding a pen, while his right arm bends at the elbow, spinning little circles.

‘What is he doing?’, you wonder with fascination as he continues his little actions, slow and repetitive. You watch him with interest as he seems to move his hands in tandem, a little circle with the right hand, then a little push with the left, before it dawns on you what he’s doing.

Your mouth hangs open in realization. He’s doing surgery! In his sleep! The motions look eerily similar to the doctor shows you’d seen on Netflix, a little slower, a little stranger.

You don’t know whether to be alarmed or in awe. You’re certainly feeling both the emotions. It’s also a little bit cute, the sure and practiced motions of his hands clouded by sleep, now appearing slow and little, as if he was knitting a sweater for a cat or something. Worry floods your brain next. Was Zayne so overworked his subconscious was performing surgeries in his dreams?! Who was he even dreaming about? Would he even remember in the morning?

Your hands instantly reach for your phone charging on the bedside table, pressing record. Zayne stalls, as if can sense you’re about to record him. You nearly pause the video in frustration, but he simply huffs and continues. Little movements with his right hand, followed by an occasional movement with his left. You record him for a few seconds, before he drops his right arm, now sleeping with his left raised high up in the air.

It looks comical, really. You chuckle a little, replaying the video you just captured. Oh, he was going to hear about it in the morning for sure.

Zayne lets his arm linger in the air for a few more seconds before he brings it down to tuck it under the blanket, before rolling over. Guess the ‘surgery’ was over then.

x

The next day you wake up to find Zayne calmly nursing a cup of coffee at the kitchen island, while reading an article on his phone. You creep up on him to ambush him with a back hug.

A soft hmpf leaves his lips, as he sets the coffee mug on the table. “Don’t scare me, darling, I nearly burned myself”, he says, turning to give you a soft kiss. “Slept well?”

“Hmm, I should really ask you that question though”, you answer cheekily as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

“What do you mean?”, Zayne asks.

You look at him over the rim of the cup as you take a long sip. “It just seems like you slept well yesterday…”

“I… guess I did?”, Zayne answers doubtfully, sensing the hint of mischief in your voice. “What?”

You silently unlock your phone to show him the video you had silently giggled over yesterday. Zayne’s eyes widen as he takes your phone in his hand, looking at his own image, asleep. His eyes widen comically as he sees himself perform the motions, hands raised in the air. His mind is drawing a blank. He did this? This is him?

“Were you working in your sleep?”, you ask, voice still mischievous, clearly hiding the worry you feel for him.

“I…”, he replays the video, eyes fixating on himself, unable to believe it. “I had no idea I did this”, he confesses, a little embarrassed.

A small laugh escapes you. He takes another sip of his coffee, trying to make it a long one, to hide away his embarrassment.

“See, you work too much...”, you say as you turn away to reach for the jam. “you’re operating even in your sleep!”

“It’s hardly operating…”

You turn around and give him a look. He looks away, knowing there was probably some truth to your words. “I’ll take more breaks…”

You were going to make sure he did.

Tagging @chryssikyu for this fun idea

[domesticgoddess22]

wish upon a cowboy

chapter 6: something to live for

pairing: raider!joel miller x fem!reader

Summary: A rugged raider takes you under his wing after hunters leave you for dead. The two of you form a team and you quickly grow attached to him–mumbling, grumbling, protective Joel Miller. When you divulge your wishes to experience life before the outbreak, Joel decides to make them come true. All of them.

warnings: age gap (early 20s/mid 40s), praise kink, breeding kink, daddy kink, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy sex, unprotected piv, canon-typical violence, light choking, dom!Joel, angst, joel is bad at feelings word count: 4k (chapter 6) rating: 18+ explicit MDNI

masterlist | Ao3 | My Booktower @orcasoul @guiltyaschargedmf @idrkman

a/n: Switching to past tense POV because I’m learning that 1st person isn’t for me. Bear with me and thank you for your patience <3 Also, I am adding a few more tags that I should have added before. ~~~

You learned from an old First Time Expecting book that the first day of your pregnancy is the first day of your last period, which meant you were about ten weeks pregnant by now.

Joel had grown increasingly protective over you. He was hovering over you more, making sure you had enough to eat, enough to drink, and that you weren’t too tired on your journey. 

If your feet hurt, he'd stop. You’d swat him away and tell him you were fine, but he was persistent. 

Hundreds of giant trees hugged the small clearing you two called your temporary home, a safe sanctuary far enough away from the madness but close enough to town to gather what you needed. You emerged from the tent Joel built for you–and only you because he always slept outside and guarded you like a dog. He had a mug of coffee pressed to his lips and his eyes fixated on a map of the United States. 

“Mornin’,” he said gruffly, setting the cup down on the oakwood box, the wet coffee staining his mustache darker shades of gray-brown.

“Good morning.” You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Did you get any sleep?”

“Some.”

“You need any help with anythin’?” You asked, brows pinching together as you cast a glance over at the dwindling food supplies. You’d just about picked over the town, as much as you could without risking your lives at least. And both of you were having trouble in the hunting department. Joel didn’t want to use guns anymore out of fear of drawing attention to yourselves after what happened at the house. You needed to lay low for a while. 

“No.” He said firmly.

Not that it mattered if he put you to work or not. Over the last few weeks, you’ve kept yourself busy with your own projects. Like gathering wood and sticks to make trap boxes. You had about four done by now, and were working on a stick trap now that you planned to set up just north of here.

You learned to make traps back in the QZ and even prided yourself on winning first place in the trap creation contest at your high school. Every kid had to go through a checklist of acquired survival skills to graduate from the academy. Basic first aid, cooking, hunting or trapping, mechanics, and foraging. 

It was safe to say that you had very entry-level experience with all of the above, none of which were ever applied out in the field, but something was better than nothing. Now you were well accustomed to trapping, enough to at least catch some squirrels and bunnies to help keep both of you somewhat fed. Still, most of your traps were empty when you checked them. Food scarcity was slowly creeping up on both of you.

Joel watched you from his spot near the fire as you got back to it, working the twine around the sticks to wind them together. Things had been off since you had sex, but never spoke of it and it hasn’t happened again since. Your relationship was bordering on platonic as your conversations usually revolved around day-to-day chores and what you’d eat for dinner that evening. 

The lack of connection with Joel left you feeling hollow. You weren’t sure what you were hoping for. It would be ridiculous to assume he’d just be your boyfriend and the two of you would live happily ever after. No, he wasn’t your boyfriend, but you weren’t back to whatever it was you were before you had sex either. And now it’s out in the open that you’re about to be the mother of his child.

Joel’s different moods were giving you whiplas. He was sweet with you one day, taking you on imaginary diner dates and making love to you next to a fire, and the next he was icy cold and barely seemed to want you around.

It stung.

“You should sleep. I can keep an eye on everything.” You didn’t want him to feel obligated to do everything and protect you all the time at his own expense. It wasn’t worth it if he was going to start getting grumpy with you again.

“‘M fine,” he croaked, voice saturated with exhaustion. 

“Watcha lookin’ at there?” You asked, jutting your chin out to the map in his hands.

“Plannin’ our next move,” he said flatly, and you expected him to share more but you realize you’re going to have to extract it out of him just like with everything else.

“I think I should have a say in that, no?”

“Like I had a say in when you were finally gonna tell me about my kid in your belly?” He snapped back.

You crossed your arms, feeling his eyes like daggers on you before he dragged his gaze back down to the map. “So you’re mad at me.” 

There was silence for a few moments and you started to think that he’s going to ignore you until finally, he said, “‘M looking at the routes to Wyoming.”

“Wyoming? What’s in Wyoming?”

“My brother. Tommy.”

“Okay…” you supported Joel reconnecting with his brother, said so from the start. But right now, your pregnant brain tried to wrap your head around where his thought process was. Two months ago, he never wanted to see his brother again. Then he gets a girl knocked up, stays up all night boring his eyes into a map, and then says he wants to trek to Wyoming with his baby mama.  “And then what happens when we get to Wyoming?”

“He’ll know what to do. Wherever he is, wherever he left the Fireflies to be, ‘m pretty sure it’s a place we’d want to be too.”

“Back when Tommy ‘n I were–” Joel flicked his gaze briefly to the ground and then back to you, stopping himself from divulging too much about his past. You both knew that Joel was a raider, but it wasn’t somethin’ Joel let roll off his tongue carelessly. You figured it was a shame he couldn’t bear to hear. 

If you were being honest with yourself, it was a truth you didn’t like to think about either. You always thought of Joel as a good man. He saved you. He had good in him. You knew that. The rest didn’t matter if it was all in the past. Right?

Your mind flashed back to all of the dead men back in that house. They had to die, or both of you would have. That’s what you told yourself as you washed the memory back, burying it somewhere deep in the crevices of your mind and shifting your focus to winding twine around sticks.

Joel took another sip of stale coffee. “We planted Tommy in the QZ to help us make some deals easier. Rest of us didn’t live in there with all their rules, so we chose to roam free. Had a ranch outside the city ‘n everything. Then it all went to shit when FEDRA caught Tommy with us and he had to run for it.” He shook his head, probably remembering some fight they had before he left. 

“I asked him to stay with us, but… He was done.” Joel continued.

“Whatever happened between you, I’m sure that he’ll forgive you. He’s your brother.”

“I don’t know. But I have to try. We can’t stay out here forever with you like this…” His eyes shot up to your stomach and then back to his cup. He knocked back the rest of the coffee and then propped his elbows on his knees. He wipes his face with his palm. 

“I trust you. If you say we need to go, then I trust you. I think it’s a good idea to reconnect with you brother, I always have. I just hope you’re sure about where he is.” You could tell he was stressed by the dark circles under his eyes. This was weighing on him already. “It’s a long journey from here, and we don’t know what we’ll find along the way. It would be a shame if we went all the way there and didn’t find what we were looking for.”

“He’s alive. I know him.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“He’s alive, and he’s in Wyoming. That’s the end of the story.”

“Okay,” you whispered. “I trust you.” Whether or not Tommy was alive wasn’t what you were concerned about. You were concerned about whether or not you and Joel would make it alive. You were about to journey through no man’s land. A pregnant girl with no fighting experience and Joel, whose capabilities you didn’t doubt, but he was still just one man.

He took another sip of his coffee and sets the chipped mug down, mustache wet with coffee. “You hungry?”

“Um, not right now.” There isn’t enough food for the day yet, but maybe if you finish this trap…

“How about some eggs?” 

“You found eggs?” Your eyes grow wide with excitement.

“Sure did. Got a rabbit too. I finished up some arrows for the crossbow and hunted it early this morning.” He looks proud of himself, and he’s got a right to be. 

“Joel.” Your eyes narrowed on the man.

“What?”

“Sleep.” There was an unnatural command to your voice that you weren’t used to, but you couldn’t stand to let him destroy himself.

“I will. Later.”

********

The night air was so cold that it stung the parts of you that weren’t snuggled up inside your sleeping bag. Joel was crouching beside you, shuffling through his pack to find something warmer to put on. You insisted that he get some sleep, but he gruffly refused. Said he needed to keep watch in case any of the nocturnal creatures–or worse–wandered into your camp. He was about as stubborn as the persistent sores on your feet, so you didn’t try to persuade him further.

Joel hovered at the entrance of the tent, brows furrowing in thought as his eyes focused on the corner of the ocean-blue tarp. In the distance, you could see the campfire’s bright yellow waves splashing against the silhouette of branches, jagged arms stretching toward the moon. 

The orange glow from the fire radiated along Joel’s profile, illuminating his fierce jawline and the curve of his nose.

“So how long have you known exactly?” Joel’s voice was a gentle whisper, careful not to startle any animals that might lurk outside the clearing.

You sighed, chewing your cheek. Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew that you kept this a secret from him. “Just a couple weeks or so, I guess.”

“‘n why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Joel’s nostrils flared slightly. What transpired between you the night before had been a fleeting moment, an eruption of emotions, heat, physical attraction, and the adrenaline from surviving an altercation. You worried that was all it was.

“It’s not easy being a woman, Joel. Especially not now. We never know what to expect and we need to be prepared for the worst.” You began, but you saw the pressing look in Joel’s gaze that reflected his dissatisfaction with your answer. “I was afraid.”

“‘Fraid’a what?” His Texan tang almost sounds mean with the way his voice raises a decibel above a whisper like he’s accusing you of something–and he wouldn’t be wrong in that. He tutted. “Damn, I knew it. You’ve been walking around carrying my child for weeks and didn’t think I should know?”

“I was afraid that you’d leave me if you knew.”

You wished you could engrain the image of his face into your mind, the epitome of utter shock. His face twisted and his nose scrunched in disgust. It confirmed your suspicions that he was mad at you.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, Joel. This–” you paused, thinking about the love you have for the baby growing inside you, but knowing full well you can’t offer them much in terms of quality of life. “This isn’t the time to be pregnant. I know back then it used to be somethin’ to be happy about–throw parties over or some shit, and yeah I’d give anything for a chance to live like they did. To have a child in a world where I felt like they had a fighting chance to thrive. To be happy. But now…?” 

You laughed through your nose, casting your gaze to the slit of the tent. Trying hard to ignore the growing lump in your throat that threatened to make your voice go squeaky as tears well up in the corner of your eyes.

Hold it in, hold it in, hold it in.

“Wasn’t always somethin’ people planned. Trust me,” he grumbled.

You tilted your head.

“Look…” He rubs his hand down his face and then his eyes flick to you, still searing your gaze into the firepit crackling outside.  “Sweetheart… I'm so–I'm so sorry. I shouldn't of taken advantage of you like that, I’m not the guy you think I am. I’m…”

“It’s not your fault, Joel. We’re both adults. We knew what we were doin’.”

He looked over his shoulder and gazed out at the dwindling fire.

“Back then, people had kids thinkin’ everythin’ was gonna be fine. Then the fuckin’ world collapsed and now their kids are either miserable or dead.” He said.

“We could have died back there. What if you had died and they took me? Kept me around to use as they pleased and then disposed of me when I was no longer useful. Maybe they woulda spared me and kept me around and then did God-knows-what to me while I’m carrying your child. You want that for our baby?” There’s something in your tone that’s almost begging for Joel to say he doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want you.

“No.” He frowned.

“I know you don’t want this. And I won’t be mad at you for bein’ honest with me, ‘mkay?” There was no use in pretending to be something you guys weren’t ever going to be. Your eyes watered and your stupid brain thought of that dumb cardboard cutout family from Target. You wanted to rip it to shreds.

Joel’s chest rose and fell. He studied you, eyes never tearing away from yours. 

“The second you told me you were pregnant, I realized I had somethin’ to live for. Someone to fight for.”

The tears finally poured, spilling down your cheek. You folded your lips together to hold back the sobs, tasting the salty wetness that coated them. 

“Come're.” He hugged you from behind. “We’re gonna be just fine, okay? We’re gonna figure this out. I’ll make sure ya have everything ya need.” He was whispering into your neck.

“I need you to be more careful is what I need. Thought I might lose you back in town. I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

“Baby, I told you ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to me.” He framed your chin with his hand and angled your head upward. “ Look at me–look. I’m fine. We’re fine.”

Even though he was right, even though it was clear as day that Joel had an almost supernatural ability to live like bad, unwatered grass that just didn’t die, you still felt an ominous tug warning you to be careful. That your life with Joel would be comparable to weathering a vicious storm that threatened to strip you of your basic resources. It was a gnawing feeling somewhere deep in your chest, a worrying sensation that if anything happened to Joel, you and your baby wouldn’t be able to endure this life.

Joel held you, one arm slipped into your sleeping bag and curled around your waist and the other draped over the worn fabric of the bag. “Stay and lay with me. Please.”

“No. I need to go out and keep watch. Can’t be lettin’ my guard down.” 

“Not even for a few minutes?” You bat your lashes and nibble on your bottom lip.

“No.”

“So mean,” you tease. “So strict.”

“Not that again.” You felt his rumbling voice against your back.

“I just want to help you relax a little. Take the edge off.” 

No wasn’t an answer you wanted to hear right now. You subtly rolled your hips against his thighs and he stiffened behind you.

Stubborn man.

“I have more on my wishlist, you know.” You smirked devilishly, knowing you were being a manipulative little brat but you didn’t care. “Stuff I want to do… Positions I want to try…” You pressed back into his crotch against, turning your neck to look up at him. You suddenly felt something hard against your ass. He groaned, hand sliding down to your hip and squeezing. 

“Tell me what else you’d want to do that you ain’t done yet.”His voice was dripping with lust as he smiled, his teeth against your cheek. 

“I want to make love in a tent out in the woods. All. Night. Long.”

“Fuck…” His lips were on your neck, sucking on the soft skin and lapping circles in between sucks. His kisses trailed up and down your neck, frantic and heady.

You turned your head back around to look at him with hooded eyes, gaze landing on his lips in longing. Then your mouth found his, nibbling and tugging on his bottom lip. He let you play and tease him for a minute before giving in to his carnal urges, slipping his tongue into your mouth and forcing you to swallow his groans.

His thumb and forefinger found one of your peaks, pulling the nub a few times. Teasing you. Then he rolled it and you felt every part of your body tingle. Suddenly you imagined you were back in that cabin. On the floor by the fire, naked for him when he took you that first time. It was the first time you made love that he gave you a baby, and it would be a memory you would never forget.

Joel felt something shift in you as he pawed at your breast and it excited him. He rolled his hips into your ass with need. Demanding hands grabbed the lining of your pants and yanked them down. Then he was pressed up against you again and you could feel his warmth through his jeans. You felt him hard and pulsing with need against your ass. 

He teased the entrance of your panties, just above the little bow on the fabric, letting his calloused fingertips tickle your skin in slow, unbearable strokes. You shifted yourself upward a little to encourage him to go further. He chuckled sinfully into your neck.

Joel let his fingers slip into your panties, pressing two fingertips to the little bud. You moaned at his touch and he rewarded you by rubbing delicious circles into you and licking the side of your neck. 

He sunk a finger into you and you wrapped around him tightly in response. 

“Fuck. You’re tight.” He slid in and out, keeping his palm pressed to your clit as he split you open. Another thick finger went in and you were seeing stars. He fucked his fingers into you faster, picking up the pace as you chased your high. Your back arched in need and you could feel his other arm wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him.

“Come for me. Can you do that, baby?”

You moaned in response and assumed he took that as a yes by the speed of his fingers thrusting into you, pulling the orgasm from you like it was the last thing he would do. Your jaw went slack and your brows knitted inward, locking eyes with the man as he rammed into you like a beast and made you come harder than you ever had.

When you came to, he left your pussy empty and pushed your back down with surprising force. You yelped a little. His hand was pressed firmly on the back of your head to keep you pinned to the sleeping bag while your ass was up on display. Joel was crouched behind you, swiftly unbuckling his belt with his free hand and then tearing your panties off in one fluid motion. You frowned a little, thinking he better not make a habit out of that or else you’d have no choice but to run around without any underwear.

“Baby I can’t keep my cock outta you. We’re gonna have to find some kind of birth control after this.” It was the only warning he gave before he thrust into your heat, growling and swearing as his shoved into you in one long stroke. His fingers combed through your hair gently and then yanked you upward and his chest was flush against your back.

You screamed. He liked the sound of that, growling and somehow burying himself even further into you. Stretching you full.

Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed outside of this tent. The only thing that kept you tethered to this earth was Joel and the fullness of him between your legs. You’d feel pleasantly sore in the morning.

“You’re takin’ me so well, baby.” Joel praised.

His thighs slapped against your ass in a steady rhythm. There was a bruising grip on your hips now that you kind of liked. It made you feel wanted. Desired. Like he owned you.

“Fuck me.” You begged, more than ready to submit to him. 

He slapped your ass and you felt your cheek ripple. He slapped it again, and you moaned, but just when you thought you couldn’t possibly be more stimulated, Joel sunk his teeth into your shoulder and rammed into you, cursing each time he buried himself to the hilt. 

The man was an absolute animal, but you loved every second of it.

There was something addicting about the feel of his teeth on your skin combined with the sound of his deep growls. 

Joel fucked hard and fast, but there were moments when he’d slow his pace and slide into you in long, brutal, strokes. He wanted to keep things going for as long as he could. Savoring the moment that your bodies connected like this. You knew because you felt the same way.

“I want to come together.” You were panting violently as you approached your release. The tight feeling in your core was unwinding and threatening to burst.

“Yeah, baby. Fuckin’ come for me.” His words were hot in your ear again. One hand was firm on your hips, drawing you into him with each pounding thrust. The other hand had your hair wrapped around his palm, angling your head back toward him. “Need to feel you suck my cock in so I can come.” 

His pace was vicious. Greedy. Like would take, take, take until he ruined you. It threatened to spill you over the edge. His balls were slapping against your clit at just the right angle and then you were done for. Back arching, walls clenching around him. His cock swelled inside you, pulsing as he spilled himself inside of you. It felt warm and hot and wet.

You loved the way he kissed you. The way he licked you. The way he fondled your breasts, teasing the peaks between his fingers. The way he praised you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear to get you to come undone for him. You loved how safe he made you feel with him, even as he completely ruined you. You loved how he fucked you. 

But more importantly, you loved him.

When you were done, he zipped up his pants and pulled a sweater back over his chest.

Just as he was about to leave, you touched his arm and tugged him back toward you, silently asking him to stay. He brushed you off.

“Get some sleep.” His tone was curt. Cold. A stark contrast to the heated, lust-driven sweetness from moments ago.

You were pregnant with the man’s child, yet you still didn’t know what the two of you were.  ~~~~ a/n: I plan on turning up the drama and angst, so don't get too comfortable. These two will work things out eventually, but Joel is very damaged and needs to find himself first. <3

masterlist here

[leiatalon]

The Eternal Library: Progress Report

I’ve been getting some good writing done on The Eternal Library, completing chapter three and starting into chapter four. A LOT happens in the fourth chapter. The story takes several turns at once and the MC is put in a position of much more power than they had before. Little by little, they get to decide what to do with it.

I had fun writing POV scenes for Angelina and Gemma this week, which I’m including in the game along with some others. These provide a better idea of the characters' perspectives and lives, and add depth to the story. I’ve also included a chance to initiate a romance with Angelina and Gemma in chapter one.

It took some time to figure out how best to integrate different characters’ POVs into the game. Basically, it came down to only including some of the POV scenes I will write for Patreon members.

Select POV scenes that add depth to the story and don’t distract too much from the MC’s path or slow down the plot momentum will make the cut. All the rest will be bonus material to help me get into the characters’ heads and for the enjoyment of subscribers who like that sort of thing.

Patreon Early Access Demo Update 👑

My Patreon subscribers just got an early access demo update which includes the full first three chapters and some additional POV scenes. Patreon demo is now around 65,000 words.

I’m planning on releasing a public update at the end of the month. Current public demo is 42,000 words.

I’m glad to have my approach to the POV scenes sorted, as it was the missing piece in my story for a while. 🎉

All in all, The Eternal Library is going well. I need to put my head down and get some work done on chapter four, now. Because there is so much more coming! ⚔️❤️⚔️❤️⚔️

[ceruleanwhore]

I made a post a while ago in which I psychoanalyzed Jin and I just wanted take a minute here to do the same with Chevalier, since he is my favorite and I have already posted about the ways in which he presents as being autistic. My impression is that, like Jin, Chevalier has a deep, complex psyche that the writers aren't really aware of but, unintentionally, they have written it into the story nonetheless. This is going to be a really long post so you might want to get a snack or some water before you start reading lol. Also, spoilers for various parts of the series, I guess.

I believe there are two main components to Chevalier's psychology: autism and trauma. It is also my belief that he does everything he ever does because of the trauma, but those choices and actions outwardly present the way they do because of the autism. The biggest example of this is his utterly fucking stupid plan for total conquest of the whole continent — he sees it as a black and white, binary choice (either Gilbert takes over everything or Chevalier does) because he's autistic but the reason he sees it as being those particular choices (total conquest with him on top vs. total conquest with him being crushed under Gilbert's boot) is because of his trauma. I've talked about the autistic side of things in that other post I made and I will also talk about it later on in this post, but I want to start with the trauma side of things.

So, first and foremost, the most important thing when it comes to Chevalier's trauma is his denial. With his autism, he exclusively intellectualizes his emotions and doesn't allow himself to actually feel anything beyond mild irritation but then he also refuses to consciously think about them as well. This results in what is basically the emotional equivalent of that one disorder that makes people not feel any pain — damage is done, and yet he doesn't register that it's there at all and just keeps going, but there is, in fact, damage. The way I think about it is that his inner child is bleeding out in a closet somewhere in the back of his subconscious and that scared, lonely, dying child is driving all of his decisions. Even though he doesn't feel things like fear, he is driven by it because he never fucking processed it.

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Let's take it back and actually pinpoint what this trauma is, where it came from and how, as an adult, it affects all the choices he makes and everything he does. If we look to his childhood, there seem to be two key things: abandonment and mortal combat. From a concerningly young age, he was targeted by assassins and, also from a concerningly young age, he was fighting them off himself. Along with that, he seems to have had the horrid experience of being born a perfect baby people loved and adored but then, when he was still only a toddler or very small child, everyone started to fear, envy, and hate him, including his own mother. When we're talking about psychological trauma, it doesn't matter so much what his own actions were and whether or not certain consequences were deserved because, whether or not it was valid for his mother to fear him after he killed someone at, what, like six years old, the fact remains that her having that reaction traumatized him. The fact that she died shortly after this incident and Clavis even blames Chevalier for her death, claiming that the emotional impact of that incident killed her would have only compounded the impact of that trauma.

With the assassination attempts, I think it's perfectly obvious how that would traumatize any child, but I think it's equally significant that he had to start killing people at such a young age for his survival because taking a life is just as traumatizing as having someone else try to take yours. The incident with his mother is where we see an intersection between all these things: at like six years old, someone was trying to murder him, so he ended up killing that person in self defense and, after that, his mother viewed him not as her son or even as a child but as a murderer and was afraid of him, and then she died and it seemed to at least one other person that her death was a consequence of that situation, that it was Chevalier's fault. Even if Chevalier always seemed ridiculously mature and intelligent for his age and even if he never allows himself to feel or even think about his emotions, all of this damage was done and, since he never processes anything, it's all just festered over the next couple decades.

As an adult, I think it's safe to say that his identity is inextricably tied to his country, so his survival and self-preservation now is more a facet of his greater goal of prosperity for Rhodolite but, just as much as he became a smaller piece of Rhodolite, Rhodolite became a smaller piece of him. What I mean is that, when it comes to something like his conquest plan, one side of that is that, in his mind, he needs to stay alive in order to carry out that plan since no one else can do it, but the other side is that he needs to conquer the whole fucking continent under the banner of Rhodolite to truly secure his own personal safety. Even though he's so highly skilled and competent in so many ways that result in his safety in spite of all the attempts on his life, there are still things that can hurt and kill him. Being the dictator in control of the whole continent would go a long way to covering those few remaining bases. This sounds extreme but so is his lifelong fight against literal assassins.

As for the abandonment issues, this explains literally every interaction and dynamic he has with every other character. He leans into his reputation and the horrid impression others have of him, encouraging all those lies and even adding some of his own in order to push everyone away, and yet it's painfully obvious that, at his core, he desperately wants someone, anyone, to truly accept him for who he is and love him as he is and not leave him. Yes, I'm sure that part of the reason he has so many romance books is because he's trying to teach himself social pragmatics and romance as a genre has the most focus on interpersonal relationships and interactions, but it is also because that's something he genuinely wants, even though he can't even admit to himself that he wants it. Just like Clavis and Licht, he wants someone to love him unconditionally the way his mother was supposed to but didn't. I also think he's afraid of loss, like his mother's death, which is why he pushes everyone away so that he doesn't have any weaknesses that could potentially be exploited, but also because he doesn't want to have that experience of becoming attached to someone and then losing them.

Taking it back to my point about how he connects himself to Rhodolite, this also drives that intense, patriotic loyalty he has and how, from the beginning, he's threatening to kill Emma on the spot if she ever betrays Rhodolite, because betraying Rhodolite is the same as betraying him and on a deep, internal level, that fear of abandonment and betrayal is what's really driving that. He says himself, multiple times, that he doesn't actually like killing people, even though he ends up doing it quite often, and it seems to me that this threat of killing anyone who defies him/Rhodolite is really an expression of his hope that people won't commit such a betrayal and he won't have to kill them. I also think that the degree to which he bothers to understand the people around him is, yes, a useful tool but I think some of it comes from this internal conflict of wanting to be able to trust and get closer to others but deliberately pushing everyone away and never allowing for that risk of yet more abandoment and betrayal. One thing like this that comes up in canon is how he memorizes the names of all the soldiers who die in his service so he can uphold their legacy as he strives to finish the work they started. It's a little different but it is a very similar sentiment that, again, he doesn't allow himself to really think about.

Now, as I move to transition to the autism part of the equation, I have to talk about the inherent trauma that comes with existing as an autistic person, which Chevalier has as well. Basically, being autistic feels like you were just born wrong and every fucking thing you ever say and do is just wrong and, left and right, people hate you for existing the way you are and talk about it like you're a normal person who's just choosing to be an asshole for no reason. Well, that's actually more like half of it and then, for those of us who are more like Chev (minus the murder), half of it is people lauding you as a genius and either being jealous of you or like gaslighting you about how your brain works and trying to get you to 'maximize the good points' of your literal disability while 'minimizing unwanted behaviors'. Yeah, it sucks out here.

So, in addition to the trauma I just discussed, there's also this element of how, from a young age, he got this message loud and clear about how his whole existence is just wrong, but it's worse than that because he's literally told, time and time again, that he isn't even a human being. Now, to be clear, dehumanizing shit like that is also a pretty common autistic experience (which is also why Clavis bothers me so much even though I like his story a lot) and this exact sentiment is where we get stuff like the changeling myth from. People talk about how horrible it is that the superstitious folks of Europe came up with a bullshit story like that to justify killing their autistic kids, but we don't talk as much about how some autistic people, like Chevalier, strongly identify with this sort of thing. In real life, this is the reason why people on the spectrum are at such risk of ending up on the alt right pipeline through new age spiritual shit like starseeds but, in Chev's case, he feels this same difference and responds to it by leaning into the shit people say about him without any kind of spirituality. He doesn't need a girl on TikTok to tell him he's a superhero from another world, he can instead just lean into the core beliefs of conspiracy theories like that and view himself as someone who is intelligent beyond the scope of the human mind, who in unhindered by pesky 'human' things like emotions and personal connections, and who isn't even human at all.

All of this is to say that, even if he never feels it or consciously acknowledges it, Chevalier fundamentally believes that this world is not for him, that he does not belong here because he was made wrong somehow, and he's worked his fucking ass off every day of his life since he could walk to try to carve out a space for himself and earn his very existence. I think it's ironic that his name is 'Chevalier' because every time I see his name, I think of the title chevalier mal fet, which is what Lancelot refers to himself as in The Once and Future King, and it translates to "the ill-made knight", which I think really is how Chevalier feels about himself on a deep, fundamental level. This kind of perspective is inherently traumatic, mainly because of the unfair treatment, discrimination, and cruelty it results from, so Chevalier also has this trauma.

Remember how I said that his trauma is the driving force of why he does everything he does? This desire to do whatever is necessary to belong in this world that he was born into yet also totally alien to is exactly what's driving him to conquer the continent. If the world is not for him, then all he has to do is sieze it and make it his, which he and everyone else knows he is fully capable of doing.

This brings us to the autism itself, and I first just want to quickly list off the autistic traits and symptoms I've seen from him in the text: hyperlexia, strong pattern recognition, above average logical/academic intelligence, below average social/emotional intelligence, a tendency for literal, black-and-white thinking, a photographic memory, sensory issues, and he likes parallel play once he actually starts to get closer to Emma. I want to start by clarifying that a true, photographic memory like his has never actually been proven to exist (it's physically impossible to have total recall like he does), but when it does show up in media as a fictional trait, it's always autistic coded, like with Spencer from Criminal Minds. My opinion is that Chevalier isn't really a genius, he's just autistic and the combination of traits like his memory, the literal thinking, the hyperlexia, and the pattern recognition are what make him come across like some incredible genius.

His true genius is how he's managed to use his privilege, resources, and the people around him not just to accommodate his disability (because yes, this is a disability, even when it's someone like Chevalier) but go so far as to turn his weaknesses into perceived strengths. It's no longer a weakness that he has abominable social skills and no emotional intelligence whatsoever, now it's a strength that allows him to be a better leader because he's uninhindered by all that illogical riff-raff, because he said so. Genuinely, it's really impressive he managed to pull that off even though it's all a load of bullshit. In addition to that, he also relies on his faction to make up for these same weaknesses at the same time he's trying to claim they're not weaknesses. Even he can recognize the importance of interpersonal skills in the political arena, so that's where Clavis and Nokto come in to cover for him.

But, like I said earlier, when it comes to the choices he makes, it all really comes down to the way he thinks as an autistic person. Everything is either simple math or a binary choice after he 'considered all options and eliminated the ones that were inefficient' because of how his autistic brain works. For him, it will always come down to a violent solution because diplomacy and negotiation are just too hard for him to do, so it really is more efficient to just whip out his sword because at least he's competent with that.

This is where that internal conflict around his autistic identity comes back up with some of the trauma because he really doesn't like killing people and it is, unfortunately, true that he never would have started killing people like that if he weren't autistic. People saw him as a threat from such a young age because of the 'genius' of his autism, so the assassination attempts along with his reputation all started with his autism. His reputation and the very literal, very autistic, black-and-white choice he made on Bloodstained Rose Day are then also the reason why everyone keeps trying to kill him currently. On top of all of that, you have this true ineptitude when it comes to social pragmatics and communication skills so, between all those different things, he very literally keeps killing people because he's a prominent figure in society and he is autistic.

I think this is why he's actually willing to work with Emma and change to be less violent because he never wanted to kill people this way and, on top of that, he literally has childhood trauma around that exact thing. This massively tangled web of contradictions is what makes him the way he is and yet he can't stand to consciously recognize the vast majority of all this shit, so he's like the fucking Plato cave allegory with the denial about it and it's so fucking dangerous. Think about it — he's making all of these critical decisions about Rhodolite, who lives and who dies, and even conquering the whole fucking continent out of this psychological mess of his personal inclinations, emotions, and trauma, all while being fully convinced those things don't even exist and he is actually making the best, most objective choices since he believes that he's free of all that other crap.

The tragedy of Chevalier is that his psychology is going to destroy Rhodolite and he won't even recognize any of that as it's happening. Coming from the USA and looking at other massive countries like ours around the globe, I can say with confidence that there is absolutely no way to make a country this big and actually have it work, especially when the idea is that you're expanding a smaller country. The second that Rhodolite gets combined with another country, 'Rhodolite' is dead, and Chevalier has no concept of that. He sees countries as borders on maps with a name slapped on top and fails to recognize that what really makes his precious Rhodolite the country he's sworn to protect is the people within those borders, their culture, their language, and all that kind of stuff. Assimiliating Rhodolite with the entire rest of the continent to make one massive country will inherently destroy Rhodolite, and there is no way to avoid that.

This isn't even to mention the problems with succession and how the worst problems of any monarchy get even worse when we're talking about an empire that spans a whole continent. Chevalier is, unfortunately, exactly the type of guy that if, in the future, one of his descendants takes over the empire and fucks everything up because that's exactly how shit like this always turns out, that's only on them and Chevalier wouldn't see himself as being responsible for that even though he would have made the whole system in the first place. By keeping a totalitarian structure, especially if he gets rid of the Belle system like he wants, he will have completely sealed Rhodolite's fate. However, he won't see it that way and, if he does all of that, he will live the rest of his life thinking he succeeded in all of this and saved Rhodolite.

[etherealholland]

Right Hand — Levi x Reader

Pairings . . . Levi Ackerman x Fem!Assistant!Reader

Word count . . . 3.2k words

Content . . . swearing, angst, mentions of death, death

A/N — cross posted from Wattpad : ) please bear with me it’s my first post on this platform so i’m still trying to navigate it anyw enjoy !

The halls were all quiet, mostly because most of the rooms are empty, the cadets could be found going on about their day, training in the fields. One room in particular wasn't quiet, in fact, quite the opposite. The Scout Regiment's most elite soldiers were on about the plan in the upcoming expeditions, with the discussion getting pretty heated because some members of the government were opposing with almost all of Erwin's ideas which of course, included with a lot of people dying.

You were sitting quietly beside Levi, all their words coming in one ear and immediately coming out of the other because you weren't someone important. In fact, the only reason you're even here is because you're Captain Levi's assistant and it is expected of you to come to every one of his meetings to accompany him, which you didn't really understand in the first place.

Why would the Captain need your assistance? Or anyone's assistance? Captain Levi has always had his reputation of wanting to do things alone, or even better, doing things amazingly even if he was alone. You had also had quite the prestige, already set to take the mantle of Levi as their best soldier yet, or another soldier with the title of 'Humanity's Strongest' but now the tables have turned. You were now doing other things like getting Captain's tea, cleaning his office, and doing papers. What ever happened to that prestige you had? You wondered.

In the corner of your eye, you see Levi pinching his nose, clearly getting frustrated by the second.

It was like he wanted to punch and kick someone, basically giving someone a good beating. Though you appreciated being Levi's assistant or 'Right Hand' as Commander Hange puts it, you'd appreciate it more if he just orders you around and not give you any beating, which you had to constantly pray for. "Y/N, let's go." He grumbles. You were caught off guard but immediately hurried to take all his papers in front of him while he stands up swiftly, "Erwin, what we're doing right now won't take us anywhere and will just be a waste of time. I'm going. Y/N, let's go!" He yells, storming out the meeting.

You hurried behind him, bowing slightly to the superiors and mumbling an apology to them before following Levi back to his office. As you both entered his office, you could hear him grumbling under his breath about something. He sits down on his chair, rubbing his temples, looking like he's about to burst. You put his papers from the meeting, neatly placing it on a shelf before you go and stood in front of his desk. "Captain, is there something I could get for you?" You asked, in hopes to calm him down. He audibly sighed, "You and I are close enough to call each other on a first name basis, right? You always forget that." He explained, gazing at me.

"Sorry, I keep on forgetting." You chuckled softly while glancing at him, waiting for an answer to your question. You had always wondered why he was always patient with you, unlike with the cadets. Especially when you two were alone, but you had always thought that it was the way he was with Hange and Erwin, sometimes. "Tea, please." He requests. "Right away, Levi." You said, mumbling his name while slowly walking out of his office and running to the kitchen.

You swiftly prepared his tea, having already memorized it due to the countless times you had to make it for him. Sometimes, he'd get mad if you messed up, serving as the main reason why you don't dare forget it anymore. You tried your best to walk faster to the office while also trying to avoid spilling the tea. You entered his office again, seeing him doing paperwork as you placed his tea on his desk.

"Thank you, Y/N." He mumbled, not taking his eyes of what he was doing. "Let me help you, Levi." You offered, sitting on the opposite side of him. You felt his eyes glancing at you before he gave you some of the papers to help him with. At first, you weren't sure why you were being chosen as Levi's assistant. Being at the top of your game, people were saying that you're almost at Levi's level, so you didn't know why you had to step down a bit from your duties.

But as time went on, you didn't mind as much. You had come to learn very useful skills from him to use in battle. He taught you a lot of things that you weren't taught in training, he taught a lot of life skills too, mainly, cleaning, and overtime, you had taken quite a liking to him. The thought of telling him such a thing was quickly brushed off because you were completely devoted to him as your Captain and you knew as well as everyone else that Levi wasn't really the type to be affectionate in such a way.

Time passed by and Levi and you just sat there doing paperwork for hours on end. But not at all did it feel awkward in any way as you were already used to these situations. "Y/N. I wanted to talk to you about something." He finally spoke up, breaking the silence. You put down what you were doing, all attention of yours now completely directed at him. "Yes, Levi?" You asked. "I don't want you to participate in the upcoming expedition." He stated bluntly.

Your eyes widened subtly, a look of disbelief on your face as you furrowed your eyebrows whilst your brain tried to process the information. "Captain, I ask that you let me come on the expedition." You requested, smiling a little, hoping he was joking, even if he never makes jokes. "I think I made myself clear, Y/N. What do you not understand about that?" He asked but his voice was gentle, a fact that surprised me even more as I was used to seeing him yell at someone after they immediately disagree with him.

"Why can't I go? I vowed to protect humanity with my life. That's my duty as a Scout. It's what I signed up for, Levi." You explained, seeing his disgruntled expression. He grumbled, "Y/N," You lean closer towards him, furrowing your eyebrows. "You're not going and that's an order. I don't owe you an explanation, just do as your told." He spat, frowning. "If you don't want me to go, I at least deserve to know why." You fired back, shaking your head, trying your very best to be patient with him but he was making it very hard for you to do that.

"It's something you won't understand. Do you not trust me?" He huffed, subtly rolling his eyes, his jaw clenching. "How would you know what I can and can't understand?" You mumbled to yourself but you were certain that Levi heard it clearly. You stared and studied him but to no avail. You didn't even feel like opposing anymore, afraid that it would lead to something horrible. "Y/N, just-!" Levi started.

"Fine. I won't go then, if that's what you wish."

You complied, cutting him off, your face falling, clearly disappointed and upset. You quickly realized this and replaced your expression, holding your head high. "Good." He mumbled, sensing the guilt in his tone. "You may not understand, but soon you will." He reassured. "I just feel useless, Levi. Like this is the life that us set for me," You sighed, avoiding eye contact. "I want to protect humanity, Levi, and I will, but not like this, not by doing papers all day." You explained, face falling.

"Y/N, you're not at all useless." Levi says. "Easy for you to say." You mumbled, organizing the papers you had worked on. "I mean it, you're very helpful, to everyone, not just me. I don't see you as less than what you really are. You're exceptional. I'm not doing this to rob you of your title or your prestige, I'm doing this for another reason. I might tell you when I get back, but for now, you just have to trust me." Levi says. You glanced at him, furrowing your eyebrows. You've never heard Levi say even the slightest words that are close to sympathetic.

You just nodded and handed him the papers. "You should get some rest, Capt." You said, turning to walk towards the door. "Good night, Y/N." He said, expecting a good night back, but you just hummed in response, still upset at him. He couldn't even give you a reason not to go.

You tossed and turned in bed all night until you got out, walking to the kitchen to get tea, hoping it would make you sleepy. It was 2 AM at this point, so you quietly rummaged through the kitchen cabinets 'til you finally found yourself some tea. You lit a candle and sat on one of the tables in the dining area, your finger circling the rim of the cup, thinking to yourself.

How can you be truly useful if all you do is be an assistant? You didn't mind being that, but you also wanted to take part in expeditions and missions. That's what you signed up for, not this, you thought. You hear faint noise from the kitchen, but thought nothing of it. Probably just some other cadet who wants a snack in the middle of the night. As time passed, you jumped from your seat, seeing a figure walking towards you.

Squinting your eyes, you sighed, seeing that it was just Levi. "Levi," You breathed out in relief. "Jesus, you scared me too, brat." He mumbled, "You should be resting." He firmly says. You roll your eyes, annoyed. "I don't even have anything to do tomorrow, you should be the one sleeping." You huffed, sitting back down. "Fine." He mumbled, walking back to his room.

After a few minutes, you decided to retreat back to your room as well, continuing your tossing and turning in bed.

Levi got out of bed that morning, done with his usual morning routine. It was an early day for the Scouting Legion today as they wanted to get this expedition over with. Levi walked out of his room, watching over the cadets preparing their gear, giving them glares and making sure they checked their gears thoroughly to avoid any distractions. Levi caught sight of a familiar girl in the room, the one who he'd recognize anywhere. He rushed over there, practically fuming.

Levi grabbed Y/N's arm, "What are you doing here?" He whispered, though it was pretty clear that everyone heard what the Captain said into Y/N's ear. "Relax, Levi. I'm just saying my farewell's to my fellow cadets and wishing them safe." You said, bluntly. You raised an eyebrow, Levi narrowed his eyes, but let go of you. "Fine, but I will escort you back to your room myself." He grunted. You roll your eyes, then turn towards Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, smiling at them. "Thank you, all of you. I promise I will repay you when we get back." You whispered to them, fixing Armin's jacket and made sure it was presentable, not that it mattered.

"Of course, Y/N! Anything for a friend." Armin beams, smiling widely. You smiled back, gushing over how sweet he was. "If anything happens, don't tell a soul, okay? I don't want them thinking you three planned my death." You whispered, face darkening. "Y/N, you won't." Eren reassured. "Cadets!" Levi yelled from across the room. "You better go. See you." You said, walking off. You approached Levi, seeing his expression soften at the sight of you. "I'm done." You mumbled, walking past him.

He followed you to your room, through the dead silent hallways. You sighed, glancing back at him as you and Levi both arrived at your room. "Goodbye, Y/N. I'll be back, I promise. I hope you're here when that happens, awaiting my return." He said, raising his eyebrows, looking saddened. You were taken aback, never ever seen that expression from him. Your face fell, "Be safe." You said, closing the door, guilty of what you were about to do.

You waited a few minutes before changing into your uniform, putting the familiar green cloak with the Scouting Legion's logo on the back of it. You put the hood up, an attempt to hide your identity. You creaked the door open, seeing the halls empty and with no one around, you rushed to the room where they kept the gear. Just as the Scouting Legion was about to leave, you caught up.

You were at the very back of the group, looking down so that no one would see you. The gates then opened, you let everyone go before you caught up just before the gate closed. On your horse, you just look around, at least hoping to secure and protect the squad in front of you. Fortunately, there were no titans in sight.

As the group enters the forest, you start to feel uneasy. 'Titans,' You thought, as you got off your horse and went on, scouting the area for titans. You see one in the corner of your eye and you wasted no time to kill it with ease. You smiled to yourself, feeling the rush if adrenaline you were longing for in expeditions. You killed one after the other, laughing and smiling every time you eliminated one. The group you were helping is clear, they have nothing to fear anymore.

You screamed in joy before your ODM gear snaps off the tree, catching you off guard. You fell and fell, before being carried off by a cadet. He landed you on top of a tree, rather roughly. "What the hell are you doing here, Y/N?!" Levi yells, still trying to contain himself a little bit. You gasped and coughed, trying to catch your breathe, standing up whilst holding your left arm, which hurt a bit. You grinned before letting out a soft chuckle.

Levi walks towards you, drops his swords, letting out a soft clang as they hit the ground, and holds you by your shoulders. "Answer me, Y/N!" He yelled, shaking you a bit. Your eyes widened, your mouth left agape. Levi's eyes were dark, but you could see beyond it. They were filled with so much worry and it was like he cracked open. "Levi, I-" You started, but you get cut off. Levi lets go of you, bringing his hands up to his hair, pulling very hard in frustration.

Levi clears his throat, "Y/N, I can't believe you. What the hell are you doing here?!" He asked, yelling but you knew he didn't want any answers just yet because he wasn't done. He continued, " I asked you one simple thing, one! Why couldn't you just sit your fucking ass down in your room for a day? Is it so hard to do? Is it harder than killing titans!?"

Your jaw clenched, "Why? What do you really see in me Levi? Do you see me as just your assistant? For god's sake, I want to help and I can! But for some stupid fucking reason, you don't want me to. I signed up to be a Scout, I signed away my life, to help, to protect! Is that how you see me? Someone who'll just follow you around? I'm not your fucking dog, Levi!" You argued, starting to feel your eyes watering.

"Levi, I love you but you can't keep me locked up in a cage forever!" You yelled, turning around to wipe the tears in your eyes. You also didn't want to see even the tiniest speck of reaction from Levi's face. You just heard him grumble before continuing on yelling at you.

"Just one. I asked you to sit down one expedition and you can't even do that! You know what? When we return to headquarters, I want you out. I want you out of my team, I want you out of the Scouts. Go fucking patrol the city like those lazy brats instead! Save it!" He yelled, grabbing his swords and flying away and back to his squad. You just stood there, trying to process what just came out of Levi's mouth.

You? Out? You were in shock and disbelief. 'How could he?' You fell to your knees, covering your mouth, while you were screaming, all while tears fell down your cheeks. Before you could even process, you felt pressure on all parts of your body and it hurt. You turned your head around, seeing an abnormal titan. You gasped, trying to break free from it's grasp, but to no avail. You have nothing to fight with, your ODM gear was broken and you couldn't even grab your swords because of how tight this nasty titan was holding you.

You closed your eyes, breathing heavily.

Levi watched in horror as the titan threw you against the tree, wishing he could go faster towards you but it was too late. Your body fell down the tree with some of your blood smearing all over the tree. Levi went towards you, mouth wide open because of the sight. You were gone. He screamed, loud enough that it would probably be heard by the people back at your home, inside the walls. Levi blacked out, finding himself again by your body with the abnormal titans remains behind him.

He kneeled down, tears forming in his eyes. He didn't care if anyone was watching, he had lost someone important. "Brat, wake up." He cries softly, shaking your body a bit but he knew an impact like that would be fatal. "I didn't mean any of it, Y/N. I didn't mean any of what I said. I'm sorry, wake up." He softly said, repeating a lot of sorry's in between. "Why does it have to be you? Why not me?"

"I told you not to come because I love you. I love you so much, Y/N. Fuck." Levi snarled. "I didn't want you to come because I get worried you'll die!" He explained, hoping it would reach you, wherever you were.

'Why did she have to do that?' Levi thought. He didn't tell you he loves you and that's his biggest regret. "Just take me!" He roared. "Just fucking take me and bring her back, why her and not me? Why do I have to suffer here? In this good for nothing world?" He cried. Levi sees nothing else, no one else but you here, but now you're gone.

Levi kept on mumbling 'I love you' to you, again and again. He could say a thousand, even a million I love you's and it still wouldn't be enough for him to express the love he has for you. He cried and yelled, punching the ground, it hurt and his hands started bleeding, but it couldn't possibly hurt more that losing you.

"I can't do this without you, Y/N."

The love of his life, the one thing that kept Levi going and kept him from breaking was now gone.

[fandomsfordays21]

My "Ink Sans" AU

So, I've had this idea for a while, but I'm sharing it now due to my mutuals @mrgrimreaper1 and @t3m1 encouraging me, and because they shared their own ocs. (Go check them out Sketch!Sans is pretty cool)

Basically, I was thinking a bit too hard about Ink's backstory, and I started feeling really bad about the others in his universe. This was especially true for his Papyrus, since he was the only other person in _____!tale that showed any form of emotions.

Then I got onto a train of thought about Ink's creator specifically. We know they dropped the idea of Ink's universe when drawing became a chore, leaving the sketches unfinished, but nothing else about them. I got to thinking, what if Ink's creator was to come back? What if they came back and finished I _____!tale after Ink was gone?

That brings us to Sketchtale, also known as the Completed Concept AU for those outside of the UTMV.

For the basics, Sketchtale is the universe that _____!tale was supposed to be, or at least a reworked version of it. The Creator, after a long while, rejoins the Undertale Fandom and decides to revisit their unfinished au from all that time ago. The name "Sketchtale" is meant to reference that it was left as a sketch for a long time.

Sketchtale is a universe based entirely off of art and multiple art forms, each area of the Underground being based off of certain mediums.

Ruins: Sculpture, carvings, engravings, mosaics.

Snowdin: Graphite and colored pencil, crayon, marker, charcoal.

Waterfall: Watercolors, paints of any variety, resin.

Hotland: Glassblowing, pottery, metalworking. (Art done with/using technology is also found here, but it's more common around the CORE and is not the main art medium.)

New Home/The castle: Knitting, sewing, crotchet, quilt and clothes making.

I'll make posts about individual characters later, but Monsters as a whole have some unique qualities that are important to know.

Monsters in Sketchtale have colored SOULs, with each monster having 1 or 2 unique colors. These colors are not Traits, like they are in Humans, and are instead types of Magic. Each color has specific abilities, with having more than one color being both rare and powerful. (Most bosses in the game have dual-colored SOULs.) A monster who has absorbed 7 Human SOULs gains a special, incredibly powerful SOUL type, called a Prism SOUL or God SOUL, that can use all colors at once.

A Monster's Magic will express its color(s) by binding to one or more specific utensils or mediums, which will be used in battle. (Imagine every Monster in Sketchtale as having their own Broomie, or having the specific paint magics.)

I'll have a separate post with diagrams and charts once I draw them, but I hope this post is clear enough to understand. This is just a very basic rundown of the AU, so if anyone has questions or wants specific details about Sketchtale, my askbox is open.

This is kind of a half-baked idea for now, so things are open to change and I will have to finish developing certain details and characters, but I'm willing to keep working if you guys like this idea. I have a lot of cool stuff planned for the Sans (Doodle) and Papyrus (Sketch) of this au and some angst ideas that I'm excited to share, so stay tuned!

[kosher-martian]

Okay I just had the most messed up Star Wars dream. But also it was really cool and the most screwed up scene Star Wars could have ever produced. It actually woke me up with how messed up but also kind of interesting it was. I'll post this now and then reblog later for the evening crowd.

The dream was clearly supposed to be a deleted scene from the Disney+ Obi-Wan series set at the end of the last episode when Obi-Wan is coming to visit Leia in the epilogue. 

In this version of the show Obi-Wan picks up a sidekick along the way, Nari (the Jedi killed in the first episode to show the normie audience how badass the Inquisitors are). Apparently he wasn't killed in the first episode in this version, but instead badly injured but rescued by Obi-Wan. Now he has a cybernetic hand and leg, which I'm sure didn't trigger any PTSD flashbacks in old Kenobi. 

When asked what he's going to do, Nari says he plans to go off and "continue the fight" by helping Jedi and other force sensitives escape the Empire along the Hidden Path. Leia asks Obi-Wan and Nari if they want to meet someone special. Senator Bail Organa looks uncomfortable, but Leia leads the two Jedi and the Senator  back to a hospital room with medical droids and nurses. The camera zooms in and the droids & nurses move one-by-one out of the way to reveal... (I'm building suspense here)... a greatly diminished Padme Amidala. 

Obi-Wan immediately backpeddles out of the room for a quick anxiety attack.

She didn't die giving birth, but stroked out and is basically a vegetable only capable of staring off into the distance and drooling. They have Natalie Portman done up in a bunch of prosthetics to make it look like her face is drooping heavily on one side. Her hair is buzzcut (I guess narratively to keep Padme from pulling at it?) and she's connected to a bunch of massive medical equipment that makes her look small and fragile. Obi-Wan, out in the hallway and refusing to go in, is horrified because he could have sworn she was dead. Senator Bail reveals that he cooked up the whole dying story and did a switcheroo with one of her body doubles!?! WTF Bail!?!

Leia tries to talk to Padme, as does Nari. She mentions that her mother really doesn't respond but she feels like Padme is in there and listening. Nari recognizes Padme (as a politician who was friends with Anakin Skywalker, not as hi secret lover and eventual wife) and is happy to see her. He says something about how lost he feels but he's found purpose or whatever. He was just a padawan when Order 66 happened and he just knows if Anakin had been there at the Temple (evidently he was not present for the Anakin/Vader fight scene and reveal) ... 

Hearing the name "Anakin" causes Padme to snap back to reality for a second, just as Obi-Wan finds the strength to enter the room. They lock eyes as he enters the room and she slowly de-ages into a long-haired healthy looking Padme. I think it was supposed to be ambiguous whether she was being force healed or whether it was just a symbolic de-aging to what Obi-Wan sees in his mind's eye. She struggles to speak. The medical equipment bugs out. She says his name slowly. 

On Mustafar, Vader is stalking around his castle ranting about Kenobi while a little spidery robot droid walking alongside projects a hologram of the Emperor. He's ranting about Kenobi i living on borrowed time and how he'll tear apart the galaxy to find him and finish what he started and... 

Suddenly he stops dead in his tracks and he looks out a window up at the night sky. There's a lone shimmering star. Sidious tries to move the conversation forward by talking about troop movements or whatever and notices he's being ignored. Just as Vader says "Padme?" under his breath, we see Sidious flick his hand in annoyance and Vader's suit starts malfunctioning, forcing him to take a knee. Because of the timing of Vader speaking and the suit malfunctioning, the "-dme" part of "Padme" is rendered in Hayden Christensen's voice.

Sidious does the line from the original version but more annoyed in tone and with the Kenobi-specific parts removed: "You seem agitated, my friend. I wonder if your thoughts are... clear... on this, Lord Vader? If your past cannot be overcome...". 

Vader's suit malfunctions some more. Vader groans in agony.

"No. Kenobi and- Kenobi means nothing to me. I serve only you."

.

.

.

And that's when I woke up. Screwed up, right?

I HATE the idea of Padme being kept alive but as a vegetable, but I do like the idea of Sidious keeping his metaphorical finger on the kill switch to keep Vader in line.

Normally my dreams are extremely boring. The overwhelming majority of my dreams (80% of the ones I remember) are Grocery Shopping Simulator™ in a procedurally generated grocery store that only sells frozen food and tupperware. Just aisles and aisles of freezer sections and shelves with only plastic containers. The rest of them are either Transcribe Handwritten Table into Excel™ or the very rare Drive aimlessly around empty residential streets of my home town during the mid morning to kill time until the post office opens but the post office never opens, time doesn't appear to really be moving forward, and I just keep driving past the same few houses and sometimes my car radio will play an old rock song I like but otherwise it's just static or my unconscious mind's attempt to make radio ads™.

And then there are dreams like this!?!

[k31raaa]

|eating out jinx to help her relax

this is unfortunately pretty basic as ive re fractured my wrist😭 just some lovely pussy eating and some sweet fluff scattered in

jinx is red text, ur pink xx

Jinx has been sat at her work bench for, well you would guess around 18 hours. you have barely heard a peep out the blue haired girl, a simple “love you, be safe!” could be heard when you informed her you were going out to the market. she needs a BREAK. she would never take one herself, so you took matters into your own hands.

You tiptoed from the bed and over to your girlfriend, who was sitting in a beautifully unique sitting pose as per usual. she had “get jinxed!” playing in a low volume while she hummed along, tapping her thumb to the beat. you slipped your arms over her shoulders, immediately pressing a simple smooch onto the space under her ear. you could tell she was over worked by the slowed movements unlike her usual fast, unpredictable ones. she tilted her head to look at you with a smile that just made you melt. “hey cutie” her eyes resemble that time you two got unbelievably stoned together. you smiled back. “you uh, almost.. done?.. i miss you.” you said in the sweetest voice you could yet it still betrayed the confusion you felt, you couldn’t for the life of you figure out what’s taking so much of your girlfriends time that should be spent on you. she looked guilty, she clearly felt bad, which obviously made your heart ache. you didn’t come here with the goal to upset her, maybe.. make her cry for another reason. and thats what you did.

“a-ah, fuck, right t-there!” she says in the most deliciously whiny tone, hands ruthlessly grabbing at your scalp, filling your head with the perfect burn, one that makes you grind your throbbing clit into anything in reach. your tongue flicked in a perfect pattern to have jinx forgetting all about her silly project, and to focus on the fact you slipped one or two fingers into her dripping hole. sick of watching in awe while it clench onto nothing but itsself , while ur fingers did nothing but try to run from the temptation of stuffing yourself full. each noise you couldnt fully swallow down vibrates against her pussy as you skill fully made out with it, spending plenty of time in your favourite place to of fully memorised what jinx adores. “c-coming, baby, mmph, shitt-!” she cut herself off with a silent scream. the way her back arched your surprised it didnt snap. her gummy walls tightened so hard you couldn’t thrust your fingers anymore, thinking they might pop off if you pulled too hard. you weren’t planning on stopping just yet but the way she panted and shoved your head away you decided to play nice, pressing one last kiss to her clit as your kissed trailed up, stopping on her cheek as you pulled her weak, small frame into your arms, cooing as she clawed at your arm for an unknown reason. probably a desperate attempt to ground herself from cloud 8. your hand gently scratches at the base of her scalp while you fill her ears up with the kindest words she used to only dream of hearing.

yeahokay sorry this is shit. i started it at 6am and its now 6:43am. IM TIRED and my wrist hurts. i love you guys, take care 💚

[ihaznoclue]

Pool Day

This basically came to my mind when I went to the pools TWICE (one at night and one during the day)

Pairings -> Shadow The Hedgehog x Reader

Warnings -> None just Shadow being a jealous boy~

Note -> You and Shadow decided to go to a indoor pool but never knew so many guys would be there | ALSO SHADOW IS A HUMAN IN THIS BEACUSE ITS MORE EASIER THAT WAY

Genre -> Fluff

Shadow The Hedgehog

You had to think of something to do to keep yourself occupied because it was so hot, but you couldn't do much in the heat.

Sitting in front of a fan, you and Shadow were sweating terribly as you tried to come up with a plan for something to do together that would relieve the heat.

"Oh! I know!" You were sitting on the bed besides Shadow when you abruptly got up, this caused Shadow raised an eyebrow at you.

"What Is it Love?" He questioned

"How about we visit the pools? We would spend the most of our time in a cool pool, which would help with the heat."

"Good idea, let's start getting ready then," said Shadow, nodding. Then, with excitement, you hurried out of the room to prepare for the short trip to the pools.

It was going to be interesting because you had never visited a pool with Shadow before. Normally, you would go with your family or friends, but this time, you were happy to be going with Shadow.

You gathered everything you would need, including a bag to hold your hairbrush, towel, and extra clothing for when you exit the pools.

All you had to do now was put on your bathers underneath your T-shirt. Thankfully, you had a pair of pool shorts and a one-piece bathers.

You finished getting ready as you now waited for Shadow to change into his own, you were finally prepared. As you waited, placing your bag on the living room couch

You spent some time on your phone when Shadow emerged with a bag that looked like it belonged to a gym and probably contained his belongings.

"Come on let's go" He opened the door and went outside to walk to the car he drove here.

Basically, Shadow decided to come over and keep you entertained because your family was gone for the day as you didn't want to go. He likely drove over here. Well duh of course he did

It was only a little drive as you two made it in a couple of minutes. Surprisingly not much cars were there so you guys got a car park.

You hopped out of the car as you closed the door behind you, Shadow doing the same as you two grabbed your stuff and headed to the entrance of the indoor pools.

Once you went inside thought the open slide doors, you could see some swim suit and bathers, some drinks and ice-creams and googles displayed

Shadow was paying as you looked through some stuff until he called out to you, you quickly walked over to him as you both went through a open door and into the main lobby where a cafe was but sadly it was closed, a vending machine and some changing rooms

You could also see a big pool and the other side was the warm pool so you guys decided to go to the bigger and cooler pool. There wasn't much people but later there will be

Finding a spot as you went to the other side of the room since the pool was big and you both wanted to go to the deep end, putting your stuff on the floor near a wall and where you guys would be in the pool just in case

Shadow just needed to take his shirt and shoes off as he already had his swim shorts on, but he waited for you which was so sweet

You took of your shoes first then your t-Shirt to reveal your one piece black bathers, you also had you swim shorts on so you were ready to hop in the pool

Grabbing Shadows hand as you two walked to the edge of the pool, feeling the water with your feet, it felt cold but you thought of an idea to do

You grinned as you looked at Shadow, pulling him in front of you as you pushed him in the pool

A huge splash was heard and water sprayed on you as he was pushed in, you were laughing so hard you didn't realised that Shadow was coming close as he took a hold of your hand as he pulled you in with a smirk

You yelped as you went into the water, everything was muffled as you swam back up to the surface as you shook your head and wiped your eyes

You then splashed Shadow as he chuckled

"Jeez the water is freezing" You spoke, shadow swam around but not to far from you, you were kicking your legs since you could reach the bottom of the pool since you both were on the very deep part of the pool which had not much people here

"You'll warm up soon" Shadow required as he pulled you with him as he pulled you to the edge of the pool to hold on

Your hair and face was dripping wet from basically getting pulled in but that was your karma since you pushed Shadow in the pool earlier.

You stayed at the edge of the pools, arms crossed on the platform you are holding on, Shadow was beside you as he wanted to stay by your side

In a couple minutes a bunch of boys came, more and more. This made you a little bit nervous as they were mostly boys

You didn't realised that a firm grip was on your waist underwater, looking over at Shadow as he glared over at them

You rolled your eyes as you knew Shadow was jealous, so you wrapped your arms around his neck, the water splashing a little by the movement of your arms

"Do you want to go to the other pool?" You asked, making sure that Shadow was comfortable in this pool

"Sure we can go to the other pool for a bit" Shadow softly spoke, swimming to the ladder to get out, pulling you with him as you also got out

Water dripping onto the ground, Shadow picked up all of your stuff as you picked up the shoes, walking carefully as you didn't want to slip

Walking past all of them as they stared making Shadow glare back at them, you then gave them a ick face as you continued

You both now walking to the main lobby as you walked to the other side to go to the other pool where some kids were and some adults

"This is a little bit better" You said as you walked behind Shadow as he placed down the stuff on a bench

You placing the shoes underneath the bench as you both went back into the water

The water felt nice and warm but not too hot, you then swam a little to the corner as Shadow followed behind

The water wasn't deep as you could easily stand without drowning, Shadow kept a hand on your waist as he backed into the corner pulling you near him as he rested his chin on your shoulder

You could hear a lot of children screaming and having fun, you could see some adults on the benchs or in the pool playing with the kids or watching them

You were glad that going to the pools was the best option for a hot day like this

OR else you and Shadow will be stuck at the house sweating your asses off

Now it's been an hour or two as it was nearly time to close

You got out of the pool before Shadow as he came out after you, it was quite freezing now after being in the warm pool for a while

Shadow wrapped a towel around your shoulders as you thanked him now it was time to change as shadow was going to as well

It took you a while as you had a little shower in the changing rooms making your hair a little bit better than being tangled, brushing your hair as it took a while to detangle

But eventually you finished getting ready as you walked out of the changing rooms to see Shadow already out waiting for you

"Alright I'm done!" You smiled, linking arms with Shadow as you two went out the exit door and outside back to the car

This day was the best as you and Shadow should do this more often instead of staying inside all day.

I'm literally back from my hang out with my friend as we went bowling and now we are gonna go to the pools on Thursday!

-A<3

[notenoughdramaaa]

Okay, so I’ve got 3 fics sitting around gathering virtual dust, and I want to post them on AO3 (despite the fact they're basically garbage) but I can’t decide which one deserves to go first. They’re all fully written, but I’m too indecisive, so I’m making you all choose for me. Here’s the lineup:

1. Wonderwall

Regulus gets kicked out by his lovely (sarcasm) parents and shows up at Sirius and Remus’s place with nowhere else to go. Awkward timing, because Remus had this whole romantic ski trip to the Swiss Alps planned where he was gonna propose to Sirius. But hey, family drama waits for no one, so Remus invites Regulus to join them in an attempt to fix things between the Black brothers. Meanwhile, James is working at a resort owned by his parents in the Alps (because why not), and he and Regulus cross paths. Cue romance, angst, and lots of snow.

Also, fun fact: I wrote this whole thing in one weekend after I twisted my ankle trying to ski in Jackson Hole last December (thanks to my roommate) It’s a longfic. It’s a mess. I love it.

2. While You Were Sleeping

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like—a While You Were Sleeping AU. Regulus works in the Ministry Archives, silently pining over Auror James Potter, who doesn’t even know he exists. One day, Regulus saves James from what could’ve been a tragic accident, and somehow, everyone ends up thinking he’s engaged to James. Oh, and James? He’s in a coma. While hanging around James’s family and friends, Regulus ends up falling in love with the real James he gets to know (without actually talking to him, oops). Everything’s sweet until James wakes up.

Expect misunderstandings, cute moments and possibly second hand embarrassment.

3. A Bed by Any Other Name

Regulus has hypercalcemia, his body’s basically giving up on him, and surgery is his only hope. Problem? He needs someone to look after him until then. His parents are conveniently in France, so guess where he ends up—Sirius’s house. Sirius is an artist married to Remus, a college professor. Regulus might have a tiny crush on Remus, but things really get interesting when he meets James Potter, a Literature professor who’s obsessed with Marcel Proust and has a thing for over-the-top romantic gestures.

This fic is about illness, recovery, love, and a whole lot of Marcel Proust out of context. You're welcome.

[astraymetronome]

I know this isn't any of the asks I've gotten for stories, but the Hermitcrafter's have gotten to me. I had to write about Grian and Scar noms...

Regardless, I hope you enjoy this! It took all day yesterday to do and I'm super thankful for @boiled-ginger-ale for reading through this and helping me fix my stupid minor mistakes.

Sweet Treats - 2500 Words

Grian was a little frustrated at how Scar had been handling the new snacks for Scar Land, but at least he was getting all these free snacks. The avian had been honest with his reviews, considering the avian-safe snacks were mostly for him, and he really liked it. The only thing he had a complaint about was how he was told to come around lunchtime, with an empty stomach, and Scar would give him a single cookie and a cup of tea before sending him on his way. It wasn’t something he would normally complain about but he’d never figured Scar as someone who would induce an unhealthy habit. He did as he was told regardless, simply wanting to make him happy. 

He was curious about the reason behind this. He had an idea that the elf was planning something and, in turn, Grian was interested in making sure he did something too. He’d been juggling this idea for a few days now and it was too funny not to try. The avian was holding a tray of cookies he made. He knew they weren’t the best cookies, but Scar wouldn’t hesitate to taste his creation if he asked how they were. Scar took cookies seriously so it would be easy to trick him with. 

Grian hummed as he made his way up the path and onto the man's porch, letting his knuckles rap against the door. The avain chirped to himself as he glanced around the tree above him. He's had the temptation to hide some nests in the branches but he knows that Scar wouldn't be too happy about him littering the surrounding area with twigs and things. His wings fluffed up involuntarily when Scar basically threw himself at the door, grinning widely as he spotted the bird.

“Birdy! Perfect timing,” Scar said swiftly. “The tea just finished brewing!” He added as he pushed the bottom of his Dutch door open. Grian tucked his wings in close and stepped in past the elf, rolling his eyes at the way Scar stumbled a bit before catching himself with his cane. 

Grian made his way towards the kitchen, trying his best not to scrape his talons on the wood, listening as Scar began to ramble on about the new thing he'd tried for this confection. Something about adding gelatin to the jam to make it thicker and more jelly-like. He had a feeling it would be good but maybe a sensory issue for some members of the server. 

The avian set his tray down on the table, smiling at the scent of tea in the air. He passed at the smell, swearing he recognized the type being used but it wasn't like he had any problems with tea. Just some things that can be added but Scar knows to not give him honey. He glanced around, taking notice of the timer sitting above the furnace.

“Oh, it's not done baking yet?” Grian questioned as his wings relaxed, having more space now that he was inside. The avian turned his head at the faint sound of the clicking of a cane, watching as Scar expertly made his way in as well.

“Just about, they've got a few more minutes.” The elf said swiftly. Grian let his eyes drift down to his legs before he pulled a chair out.

“Sit down, I can get the trays out.” He said quickly. It didn't take a genius to see that the man was having a bad day with his legs. It wasn't uncommon for the man's joints to ache one some days and since Scar had been more active the last few days it made sense he'd have a flair-up.

“No, it's alright! I can do it!” He was quick to fight with but Grian gave a glare which seemed to be enough to get his point across. 

“I made something for once. How about you sit and try them while I go and grab your wheelchair.” Grian offered, scooting the chair a bit so Scar had room. He sighed as he began to take a step away only for the elf to quickly distract him.

“You made cookies? Wow Grian, are you sure that fire you started this morning was due to a misplaced touch?”

Grian rolled his eyes as he watched Scar scoop up one of his creations and eagerly take a bite into it. The avian's wings ruffled a bit, he knew that it would work out but that didn't stop the nerves of it failing. He stood nearby, watching as Scar swallowed before stuffing the rest of it in his mouth, quickly speaking with it still full.

“This tastes great! What potion did you put on it?” The man asked, having forced the entire thing down. He was smiling despite the fact that Grian knew they tasted bad.

“You don't have to lie.” He said quickly, trying to distract him from the potion. He knew Scar recognized a potion effect so he wasn't gonna hide it but he could avoid it.

“I'm not lying! Anything you make tastes wonderful.” The elf quickly said before reaching over to pick up another. Grian was quick to make sure he didn't, just because he wanted the potion to work didn't mean he wanted Scar to take multiple doses.

“I think that's enough-” The Parrot said quickly, plucking the cookie from his hand like he would a loose feather. He set it to the side and watched for a moment before Scar spoke up once more.

“Wait- what was in it again?”

Grian watched as Scar's body began to shift, code turning in on itself. 

“A shrinking pot.” He said nonchalantly as he reached over and grabbed the kettle off the stove. He poured a cup of tea for himself, lifting it up and taking a sip before turning to face the man once more. Grian sighed as he stepped over, grinning at the sight of a now small Scar. The man sat on the chair, looking a little dumbfounded but no longer filling it like he had just moments ago. Scar was about 5 inches tall, compared to the normal 4 that the pots brought people to. 

The avain hummed as he took another gulp from the tea mug before placing it down on the table. “I guess the ratio was off…” He mumbled to him before shrugging. “No matter, it's fine.”

Grian watched the confused look on Scar’s face before the elf burst into laughter, hugging his belly as he cackled. It made him pause in confusion as the sound continued before he found himself laughing as well. This was such a stupid prank and it was obvious Scar agreed with that sentiment.

They both were stuck in the little fit for a few minutes, Scar almost gasping for air by the time he managed to calm down enough to breathe. Grian had been laughing as well but began to calm down rather quickly. He felt tired, a good kind of tired, but he didn't really understand why. 

“This was stupid.” He said swiftly, a small chuckle leaving his throat before he picked his cup up once more. Grian took a sip, swallowing the warm liquid before he paused. Now that he wasn't so focused on seeing if his cookies would work he noticed that the taste was familiar too. He pulled it from his lips and chirped, immediately turning to look at Scar who now had a wide grin on his face. 

The floral taste stayed on his tongue, lingering as heavy as the scent did before he found himself blushing. “Is this chamomile?!” He felt embarrassed he hadn't noticed this before drinking the tea! Of course, Scar would try to get him into a nesting mindset; the elf loved to have him tucked away in his stomach.

Scar's laughter was quick to return, his smile shining like the sun once more. Grian felt himself smiling a bit at the nice sound before he shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to have a nesting fit right now!

He could feel the fuzzy sensation in the back of his mind, the desire to hide somewhere itching his brain. “Did Mumbo tell you?!” He said quickly, scooping Scar up from the chair. Grian hadn't told anyone about the instincts thing chamomile gave off but Scar's smile was enough to know that it had been on purpose and not an accident. 

“No- no! Bdubs did!” The elf gasped out, actually close to laughing himself into a coughing fit. Grian glared which almost triggered the man into another one but Scar held strong. 

The avian gave a frustrated chirp before his wings fluffed up. He wanted to be mad, not really, but his head was too foggy to feel any true resentment. Of course, he had figured it out.

“I've got a shrinking pot hidden by the oven mitts.” He said with a soft smile. Grian understood that he was a good prey, mostly because of the whole darkness thing, but he had been doing this to help Scar out! Was that even needed?

The dirty blonde sighed and took Scar's place at the table, fidgeting with him in his hands. He rubbed the elf’s lower back knowing that those muscles hurt just as much as his legs did. Grian didn't often store his friends, his crop just was more sensitive than the others’ storages making it uncomfortable if they moved too much. Regardless, he really did like the change. 

The avian didn't take his eyes off Scar, watching him carefully. He wouldn't admit it but most of the hermits were people he considered his flock, it was the main reason he didn't mind being nommed by them when he wanted to nest or needed a break. He had the desire to do the same thing for Scar. The elf was in pain, his legs were acting up, and he was already small! Plus heat helped with cramps! 

Grian hadn't even noticed he'd started to lift him up to his face, Scar's ramblings having been completely missed. It was important but Grian didn't have it in him to care right now. He wanted Scar in his crop right now-

“The cookies!” Scar called out causing Grian to snap out of it, immediately looking towards the furnace where the timer rang. He set Scar on the table and immediately got to his feet, grabbing the oven mitts, before pulling the cookies out. Grian placed the two trays on the counter, revealing that they didn't seem burnt or anything before he made sure to close the furnace. The dirty blonde gave a sigh as he proceeded to shift things around, making sure the stove would die down in a moment or two before he glanced back at the table.

Scar looked happy that his creations were fine, relaxing physically as he struggled to stand on the table. Grian didn't hesitate to step over and scoop the elf up, having made up his mind as a tiny trill left his throat. 

Yeah- Grian was a sucker once those instincts hit. 

He lifted Scar up, licking his lips before letting them part. He felt nervous, already feeling his crop clenching and shifting uncomfortably. He was unsure but he was gonna go slow. The two of them made eye contact, Scar looking up at him for a moment before seeming to understand the situation. 

Grian hadn't expected to see the look of joy on the man's face... now that he thought about it he'd never stored him before. The avian has sat in Scar's storage before and even been forced to take a break in it before but he'd never actually swallowed Scar. He's stored Mumbo and Bdubs before, mostly because Mumbo is too much of a spoon to understand when he needs to step away from a project and just because the moss hybrid is strangely obsessed with his crop. This was new but elf absolutely brightened as he shakily opened his mouth and began to nudge him inside. 

He had to admit the weight on his tongue was weird, he's pretty sure it's due to his inexperience but it wasn't a bad feeling. He couldn't fit all of him in, lips closing around the man's waist. He looked down at the legs that stuck out of his mouth, moving his hand to held support the weak limbs. Grian cooed at the taste in his mouth, swearing the elf tasted like pure sugar. That could be because the man had been baking all day but the hints of cinnamon and nutmeg told him it might not be the case. 

He gently began to suck on the form in his maw, carefully keeping his teeth separated as he pinned the man to the roof of his mouth. Grian could feel the drool pooling over everything. He was embarrassed by it, shakily swallowing the saliva before letting his tongue drop once more. Scar's hand–at least he assumed it was his hand–brushed over the back of his tongue. It was barely far enough in that he could feel the need to gag but was unable to. 

Grian gave a soft cough, which made the elf immediately pull his hand back before he opened his maw. He held his mouth open, carefully kept it up, and while he heard the man speak. “Sorry G! I just wanted you to know I'm ready whenever you are.” He said quickly. 

The avian softly chirped, making sure Scar knew he'd heard him. He gave a gentle swallow, feeling as his throat pulled him closer to it. He gave a nervous whine at the sensation of a head hitting his uvula. He gave a deeper swallow this time, pulling his upper body into his esophagus. 

Scar's legs slid onto his tongue in his torso's place, allowing Grian to click his teeth closed as he leaned his head back. His hand drifted to his throat as he gave another swallow, forcing his friend down completely. He traced the form in his neck until it disappeared past his collarbone, a soft sigh leaving him at the lack of stretching. 

The avian's hand immediately dropped to his abdomen, resting just above where his stomach sat. He felt as if the elf was forced into the sack above it, swelling it out rather nicely. It was uncomfortable but not so bad he was worried about the organ. Grian didn't hesitate to sit back down, leaning into the chair as he stroked his belly with his thumb.

Scar shifted around inside, righting himself before relaxing into the walls of flesh. He could feel small hands immediately begin to rub at the space and Grian couldn't contain the pleased coos he let out. He ought to make sure the things left out were put away: the kettle, the cookies, the mixing bowls, etc…

But that could wait. For now, Grian was gonna relish in the feeling of having his friend tucked away where no one could find him.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Thank you for reading! I plan to make more HermitCraft related content but I promise I'm still gonna make DSMP content too!

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Lucifer: You mean Facebook?

Adam: Is that what it's called?

Lucifer: Yeah, I can set something up on there in like ten minutes.

Adam nodded: Good thing one of us is tech savvy. Best I can do is my phone and the basics for a computer.

Lucifer: I kinda had to learn on the fly.

He pulled out his phone just to be sure there weren't any missed calls or texts from Charlie. It hurt not seeing her name pop up once. He had texted her saying where he was going, when he'd get there, why he was going, when he got there and had made it safe.

And nothing.

Adam: You okay?

Lucifer pocketed his phone: Yeah, I just wish Charlie would at least text me back but her mother probably has her phone.

Adam called Lucifer telling him about Lilith and she didn't sound like that great a person. The only reason he married her was because he got her pregnant when they were 18. He had actually planned on breaking up with her until she said that.

Adam: I'm sure she'll contact you somehow.

Lucifer: Yeah.

He reached back and gave Bandit some pats, the dog licked his hand. That made Lucifer smile, he already loved the dog as much as he loved Adam.

Adam did have a place in town but he more so used it to have a mailing address so there wasn't a whole lot in it. They swung by there to check his mail and it was a cute place. It was a lot smaller than Lucifer's place in LA but really it was just a normal house size.

Lucifer: This is cute.

Adam: Thanks, the best part is it's paid for.

This was likely where Lucifer was going to live fully when he moved down here for good. He had to have access to the Internet and a phone to work. Which Adam understood.

Ugh, he didn't want to think about work he wanted to think about his upcoming wedding.

Adam: Should go in and check to make sure no critters broke in.

They go in and right there sitting on the couch as big as beans is a koala.

OH OH OH OH!!!

90 Day Fiance Au

Lucifer is from California and he meets Adam online who is from Australia.

Ohmygod- yesssss!!

Lucifer is a suave businessman who meets Adam, who's a drover in the harshest areas of Australia.

He can only respond to Lucifer when he's in a city or town, which isn't often. But they both like each other, so Adam takes the risk of giving Lucifer his phone number. Whenever Adam has reception he calls Lucifer.

ALSO Lucifer flying out to Australia to meet Adam- who looks so out of place.

Like-

He'd rocking this vibe (without the gun, of course lol). And everyone at the airport is a tad suspicious about the dirty Australian guy who gets told off for lighting a cigarette inside.

Lucifer is instantly in love.

[rebouks]

Wren: Robinnnnnnn, mom asked you to watch Ava for a minute. Robin: [tuts] Don’t drag her like that. Wren: Why not? She likes it. Robin: Until you drag her over a rock.

[Wren ignored Robin as she continued hauling a giggling Ava through the long grass]

Wren: Why’re you here again?

Levi: Why not? Wren: ‘Cause this isn’t your house. Byrd: Shut up, Wren-.. you’re being a meanie! Wren: You shut up!

[Wren scowled, muttering something under her breath]

Levi: What?

Wren: I said you’re stupid! Levi: I bet you’re stupider. Wren: Not as stupid as Byrd. Byrd: I’m not stupid! Wren: Are too! Robin: No one’s stupid.

Robin pulled Ava safely into his lap and listened to Wren and Byrd bickering, eventually turning their attention toward Levi, accosting him as ferociously as they would anyone else; his usual walls crumbling to dust as they wrestled amongst the clover. His friends might not have understood why he wanted to hang out with Levi, but Robin could sense that there was an entirely different boy hiding beneath his prickly, well-maintained façade.

The rustling birch trees and the dappled shadows beneath created a rare safe haven for Robin’s classmate, who in the absence of anyone to impress or mislead, finally smiled and enjoyed himself with a genuineness that Robin had never seen before.

Straightening Ava’s little bow and holding her closely, Robin couldn’t help but think how awful it must be to be part of a family that never played or laughed together, a family that didn’t particularly enjoy your presence or show you much affection-.. if any. It wasn’t hard to imagine how strenuous it’d be, constantly pretending to be someone you weren’t.

He didn’t exactly want to spend every waking moment with his parents, nor his siblings, but Robin loved each one of them dearly and struggled to picture his world without them. It wasn’t expected or necessary given how supportive Oscar and Courtney usually were, but Robin took his role as an older brother quite seriously and enjoyed lightening their load by looking out for his brother and sisters; he felt a pang of sadness for Levi as he realised that on top of his absent parents, he couldn’t even rely on his own sister as a source of comfort or approval.

Robin wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t heard Levi in time-.. what if he’d been that bit better at blocking everything out, what if he’d been distracted, what if he was too far away or hadn’t been there at all?

He’d tried to convince his parents that he wasn’t interested in going because an elementary school disco sounded like the most boring event in existence, but they’d assumed his reluctance had been due to anxiety and cajoled him into going anyway, for a little while at least. In the end, he supposed it was a good job they had.

If something had happened to Levi that night, he would’ve struggled to forgive himself, and the thought of anything terrible befalling anyone else at the hand of his apathy or purposeful ignorance filled him with dread.

Although it could be difficult and tiring sometimes, he probably ought to pay more attention to his surroundings rather than ignoring everything, as he’d been partial to recently-.. just in case.

It was nice to have the option these days, but maybe Robin was never meant to suppress his gift completely, maybe he’d been given it for a reason. He had no idea why, how, or where it came from, but it wasn’t just a quirky annoyance anymore, it’d literally saved someone’s life; it was clearly far too important to wilfully dismiss...

Previous // Next

[egophiliac]

I have never been more concerned for a JP update from your art than I am seeing a Cheka knowing the context of Leona’s dream.

My bois ok right?????? My sweet nephews ok right??????

well

uhhhh

I'm sure the real one is fine :)

[akkivee]

sasara’s manager: oh, the bromide of aohitsugi-san after his bath!! i was surprised you got permission to take that photo

sasara: actually, i snuck in and took that picture

manager: eh

sasara: i figured, if i got caught i could handle whatever might happen but geez, i honestly thought i was going to get killed

———————

EXCUSE ME?????? SASARA????????????????