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sissytobitch10seconds · 7 months ago

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Two Birds on a Wire

Fandom: Helluva Boss Summary: After getting trapped with his ex-boyfriend in Greed, Blitz ends up saying a lot of stupid stuff that makes his life better in the long run. Warnings: Past underage sex, pregnancy, trans male pregnancy, mpreg, and kidnapping Word Count: 4,883 Ship(s): Asmodeus/Fizzarolli and Stolas Ars Goetia/Blitzo Buckzo

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A/N: Another fic for my wonderful mutual(@lovely-number-7)! They give me so much inspiration for this and encouragement to keep going. I added some surprises for them so everyone is going into this fic on an even playing field, haha. I hope that you all enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Blitz’s day had already been going pretty terrible when he ended up getting into a fight with someone that had been very important to him over a decade ago.

Not only did seeing Fizz bring back memories of when they were in the circus together and everything that they had shared before the fire, but it now also reminded him of how awful the Loo Loo Land Fizzbot had been to him. The taunts and jeers from the back of the already sparse crowd still haunted his dreams and shot down his confidence when he was trying to cheer up his office or kids. Of course that was when the jester thought that it would be a great idea to pick on him and reference the stalkers that he had, which Blitz would never associate himself with.

After the fight, Striker had captured them to prove to Crimson that he was a worthy investment. Blitz had always known that being in his line of work would result in something like that happening to him, he just hadn’t accounted for Fizz being thrown into the same cage as him. At least Striker had finally gotten the sense to cater to who he was capturing instead of assuming that Millie wouldn’t chew her own leg off, beartrap or not, to save her husband.

He had been bound in normal rope, something that he couldn’t hope to wiggle out of because of the friction that it was causing on his skin and suit. Fizz, on the other hand, was bound in what looked to be duct tape so that he couldn’t do anything with his robotic arms and legs.

Even the memory of the fact that Fizz had prosthetics instead of his natural limbs made years and years of guilt come swimming back at him. He wanted to snap and fight back to get the feeling to go away, but he also knew that it would lead to nothing good for either of them. He had been trying so hard and for so long to better himself so that he could be a good example to his girls, but it was a slow going process. Being around the man that had started and ended everything in his life had regressed him back to where he had been fifteen years before.

Fizz started to whine and look around the cage for a way out. “Oh, chill out Jester,” Blitz spoke without meaning to. The words all just tumbled from him and into the open air without his mind even taking a second to process them. It was what had gotten him into the mess that was his life and would likely be what took him out of it as well. “It’s like you’ve never been tied up before.”

“Ugh,” Fizz grunted as he continued to try and pull at his bindings. “Sure, but not by a bunch of psychos.” He fell forward so that he smacked into the hard metal floor of the ground, “Arg! And a piece of shit.”

Blitz narrowed his eyes at the man that was once his best friend as he tried to figure out what he was talking about. “Fi- Okay… okay, am I the psycho or the piece of shit?”

“Both,” Fizz snapped.

“Ah, that checks,” he sighed. He should have known that even when they were in a dangerous situation Fizz wouldn’t be open to listening to him, just as he hadn’t been for years. He had tried so hard after the fire, when they were both trapped in that satanforsaken hospital, and then again through letters for nearly a decade and a half afterwards.

“How is this happening?” Fizz whined as he straightened up again. “I was just supposed to grab some gas station milk and rehearse some juggling!

Anger boiled inside of him. Blitz had been in situations like that more times than he could count and he had never spent as much time whining as Fizz had. They hadn’t even been drugged or interrogated yet, they were just waiting for money to exchange hands. “Oh relax. I’m sure your big royal chicken isn’t going to let anything happen to his peppy little fuck doll.”

“Oh, playing that card, huh?” Fizz snarled. He had just as much anger and vitriol as he had back when they were snarling at each other in Ozzie’s. “Okay, well what about you? Seems your taste has gotten more… regal, lately?”

Again, his brain spoke before his mouth could. “Stolas and I aren’t like that, alright? We might have been able to try out dating if you hadn’t fucking shamed him in front of countless people at what was supposed to be our first date.”

“First date? I knew that you were bad with that whole romance thing but I didn’t consider the fact that you only take a guy out when he’s been railing you into the mattress for months first,” Fizz snarked back. Gone was the boy that looked up to Blitz with all the earnestly of someone that was the golden child of the circus. He no longer had that compassion and tenderness that Blitz had fallen for all those years ago, at least not for the very imp that had protected that in him.

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about,” Blitz seethed. He had worked so long and so hard to try and make his relationship with Stolas healthier for the sake of their children. He knew that he was bad at picking partners and starting things off, the fact that Verosika still hated him for using her credit card to pay for the twins medical bills when they got the hellflu. Fizz didn’t have the right to mock him for his romantic relationships when he was the one that had damaged Blitz into making bad decisions in the first place, though.

“I think that I do!” responded Fizz. “I was the first guy to earn a date by pounding you into the mattress for months, remember?”

“You know, that’s not really a claim to fame,” Blitz snarled. “Not that you really need anything else to boost your notoriety, right?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

His cheat was heaving with the emotion that was spinning through him like a bullet. He knew that feeling very well, he had gotten shot more times than he cared to admit in his line of work. When it was an emotional bullet instead of a literal one, the pain was so much more intense. A literal bullet would pierce the skin where it had been shot and then destroy the nerve endings in that specific spot, echoing the pain from that location. A metaphorical bullet, on the other hand, tore through the entire body all at once and lit every single nerve on fire. He could feel it twisting and ripping at his heart, making memories from a long time ago arise in his mind the way that an exorcist blade might on a sinner.

Blitz focused on what he was doing instead of saying something. If he kept talking then he was going to say something incredibly stupid. He couldn’t afford to do that when he was surrounded by people that very obviously wanted to use him for their own gain. He wouldn’t be surprised if they had already sent a message back to Stolas letting him know that Blitz had been captured, or if Stolas had been able to feel it the same way that he had with the demon hunters.

With thoughts of his Goetia lover rattling around his mind instead of the memories of what had happened that fateful night of the fire, he was able to focus. He jerked his foot backwards on the rough metal floor of the cage that they were in and removed the knife that he stashed there for moments such as this. He picked the blade up with the edge of his fingers and then turned it around with amazing dexterity, something that he had picked up when he was in the circus, not that it had done him any good. Maybe he could have gotten a job at that cat-themed gambling place if he had just been a bit older when he applied.

He deftly cut through the ropes that were binding his hands and then did the same to the ones on his arms and legs. “What was that supposed to mean, Blitzo?” Fizz demanded again, as if he couldn’t see that Blitz was trying to get them out of that cage so that they never had to face each other again.

He knew that he shouldn’t have said anything, he knew he should have kept his mouth shut and protected the little pocket of joy he had carved for himself with his own claws and teeth, but he couldn’t. “Oh, nothing. I’m just glad that you managed to find someone that you could knock up and not want to abandon this time around,” he replied.

“What in the ever loving fuck is that supposed to mean?” Fizz demanded as he turned around towards Blitz.

They didn’t get the chance to keep fighting about what he had said because Striker was there at the cage, grasping at Fizz and threatening him. Blitz had seen how ruthless he was when he had been preparing to take down Stolas, so it was a surprise to everyone there that he didn’t just perform the kill immediately. Part of him wanted to be grateful to Crimson for reminding the bigot that they were a valuable asset that had to be returned in one piece, and the other half of him was so angry that he could barely see straight.

Blitz felt like an idiot, talking about the pregnancy that he had detected from Fizz’s goading earlier and putting his ex-boyfriend in trouble because of it. He knew what it was to be a child that grew up without a parent and to raise a child without the other half of one’s heart, he would never do that to someone else. He hated Fizz with every fiber of his being for what had happened during the fire and afterwards, but most of his heart was just clinging to that anger so that he didn’t have to feel the alternative. Somewhere deep inside of him, in a place that he had buried and decided to never return to, was the sorrow that tried to choke him out every second that it got.

He could barely think about the guilt that he was feeling over that. If he had any luck left in him then they wouldn’t have to worry about Striker or Crimson in a little while. He supposed that being a Prince of Hell and a Sin meant that Ozzie would be able to hire good security for his lover when he found out what had happened. Stolas didn’t have that luxury since he was one of seventy-two Ars Goetia and often ignored by his family, which was why he had resorted to using Blitz as a bodyguard even though the imp wasn’t very good at that.

He had to get them both out of the warehouse or he would never forgive himself. He knew that he still held resentment for Fizz, but that was only there because of the massive swell of love that existed for his childhood best friend. So he flipped the knife around his front when he had finished cutting the ropes around his arms and sliced it off his legs as well. He worked silently as he got the sharp blade through the duct tape and let Fizz be free as well. He did something convoluted and stupid to get them down from the cage, but it also managed to distract all of the goons around them so that several of them were fighting each other.

While they were working together, Blitz learned several things about his ex-best friend that he never thought he would have been given the chance to. Fizz was incredibly flexible, likely because of the prosthetic arms that he had gotten after the fire at the circus. He was still able to do everything that he had when they were kids despite the fact that they were nearly thirty, which shouldn’t have really been a surprise. Despite the fact that he had bionic limbs and had been famous for over a decade, the bastard knew nothing about fighting.

Blitz had to pull the slack for both of them because while Fizz was able to avoid getting shot pretty well, he couldn’t shoot anyone else to literally save his life. It ended up working out well when Fizz picked Blitz up and used his stretchy arms and flexibility to help the other imp get some of the harder shots, which resulted in them finding the window that eventually got them out.

After another explosion and some acrobatics that he hadn’t done for years, he managed to get them to a point where they were both safe for the time being. He let out a low breath and nearly collapsed as the adrenaline began to melt from his body. “I know that you hate me, but can I borrow a phone from you so that I can call my girls?”

“I want to talk to you about that before I let you go,” Fizz shook his head. The world around them stank like burning rubber and melting metal from the fire that they had started on the junkyard, but it felt oddly poetic in some way. Their entire relationship had gone up like a trash fire so they might as well talk about it while surrounded by one.

He had always known that it was a possibility that he and Fizz would have this conversation one day. He had known the second that the doctor came in with the confirmation that the pregnancy had lasted through the fire, he had known the second that the test had come back positive, he had known the second that they had decided one time without a condom would probably be fine. “What did you want to talk to me about?” he finally managed to make his voice say.

“What did you mean when you said that I got someone pregnant and then abandoned them? This is my first time having a kid, Oz and I were really excited when we found out,” Fizz said quietly. He looked so forlorn and scared when he did it, that it actually made Blitz’s heart ache in his chest.

He turned his head to the side and tried to blink away the tears that had gathered there as he explained. “You know how we were dating back when we were sixteen and we thought that one or two times without a condom would be okay? Well, I got knocked up. When I tried to tell you I got sidelined or told to fuck off every time. I thought for sure you knew.”

“Why would you think that?” Fizz asked, holding his hands out to the side of him like Blitz had told him that he thought the living world’s moon was made out of cheese. He knew that his ex-best friend would react to that situation in that specific way because it had happened when they were thirteen, the first time that they had gotten drunk together.

“Because I tried to tell you a dozen times! I mean, the first time really didn’t work because I passed out at your party and then when I woke up everything was on fire,” he sighed.

Fizz tightened up when he heard that. “You passed out? While pregnant? Were you okay?” he asked.

“I mean, I’m okay now. At the time I was actually really anemic, having them almost killed me,” he shrugged. “But I did try to tell you about the twins, Fizz. I wrote you letters after the security gave me a bruise on my ass because of how hard they tossed me out of the hospital.”

“No one ever told me that you came to visit while I was in the hospital,” the other imp whispered. He had tilted his head down for the first time since the explosion, staring at the green flames still licking at the trash below them. It was beginning to peter out already as it had consumed everything that wasn’t just melting. He pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his one usable arm around them, his tail completing the circle. “I wanted you to visit me so badly. I was so scared and I didn’t understand why you ran away from me after you had seen me.”

“I didn’t really see you,” Blitz shrugged. He tilted his head forward and dug his fingers into his eye socket. He was able to see the absolutely disgusted face that Fizz gave him before he marveled at the glass eye. It had enough tech in it that it could help widen Blitz’s peripheral vision and give him his depth perception back, but it didn’t have anything high-tech. If he had wanted that then he would have had to go with VoxTech because Asmodean prosthetics tried to focus on actually being usable. “See? My eyes were totally fucked for like a week after the fire, I had to make the nurses give me an extra ultrasound so I had a chance to see my own babies since I couldn’t when they checked the first time.”

The other imp was quiet for a while longer, Blitz knew why. He had put together towards the beginning of their conversation that Cash and Mammon had worked to keep the two of them apart, especially since Cash was the one that had originally told Blitz that the fire was his fault and that Fizz didn’t want to see him. Both the older imp and the sin had to know about the twins and had kept Fizz from that knowledge on purpose.

“So you were pregnant and tried to tell me, but they didn’t let you because they wanted to keep exploiting me,” Fizz finally said the silent part out loud. Blitz had known that Mammon was abusing his best friend since he had attending the first show he had to work in Loo Loo Land. The robots were made poorly because of the demand for them, which meant that they only resembled his friend to some extent. He knew that none of that money was making it back to Fizz, at least to some extent, because otherwise he wouldn’t have kept working for the bastard as long as he had.

“Yeah, pretty much. I’ve been raising both girls on my own for a long time, there’s a lot of shit I wished you had seen and even more that I’m so glad you didn’t,” Blitz said. His pregnancy had been a fucking disaster, what with him being out on his own and absolutely covered in slowly healing burns for the entirety of it.

“What do you mean by that?” Fizz asked. It seemed like that was what he was asking most often, likely because Blitz was telling him something convoluted and overwhelming. He only had to ask for clarification when Blitz could actually get the words he needed to say forced out of his mouth.

“Well, it wasn’t pretty after I had the girls. I was mostly working odd jobs that were part time so that I could be home with them for the majority of the day. I even had to take up doing maintenance of my building so that my landlord would drop the rent to something that I could actually afford. Stole a lot too, usually baby clothes and formula because your kids sure know how to eat, Fizz. I guess that’s the one thing that I’m actually grateful that Cash taught me how to do,” Blitz rambled on.

While they talked, he shimmied towards the main part of the crane that would let them travel downwards. Fizz followed after him, coming down to the ashy ground as well despite the injury that he had on his arm. It felt almost like the fire had never happened and they had never been separated for those long fifteen years. He wondered what they would have been if they had that time instead of what they had received instead. They might have turned into what Blitz’s parents had been like, in love once upon a time but miserable and together only for their children. Perhaps it was for the best that they had been separated, so they could both grow as people and become better for their children.

They reached the bottom of the crane without either of them falling and then embarked further on their journey as they tried to get out of the junkyard. The fire had thankfully turned into nothing but warmth and foul smoke by the time that they actually descended and hadn’t caught the entire place on fire.

Thankfully, Blitz was used to his van giving out and stranding him wherever the most recent part had chosen to break. He was used to having to walk through cramped, foreign city streets until a payphone was found. He slipped into it and rigged the machine by hitting it in just the right places so that the coins inside jingled but didn’t fall, which was something that could only be done in greed. He rested his head against the grimy box as he listened to it ring a couple times before someone finally picked up.

“Blitz? Are you alright? Oh please tell me that this is actually you and not another one of those kidnappers trying to taunt me,” Stolas rambled. Blitz should have known that he was going to be an absolute mess when they were able to talk to each other again, but it still warmed his heart and the lower half of his belly to know that he had someone who cared that much about him. The part of his brain that carried Stolas’ voice with him like a protection ward told him that the only reason his lover hadn’t come to break him out the same way that he had when Blitz had gotten caught in the living world was because the politics in Hell were more complicated.

“I’m alright, Stolas. Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to get us out of there? I hope that you didn’t pay those fuckers any of your money,” Blitz said.

“I was preparing to, darling, if I’m being totally honest,” Stolas replied. He sounded a little sheepish when he spoke and Blitz could almost see the blush covering the lower half of his face. In the background, the imp could make out someone else talking but couldn’t quite discern what the words were. He just knew that the tone was familiar.

“Stolas! What they were asking for was totally fucking ridiculous and you know that Striker still has a shit ton of money from when Stella tried to have you killed,” Blitz scoffed. The memory of how injured his boyfriend had been after that incident still made his entire body feel as though he had been doused in ice water. He hadn’t been able to go to the hospital because of the trauma that he had from his first pregnancy and post-fire, which meant that he had to deal with a lot of things completely on his own on top of battling the guilt at not being there to defend his partner. He couldn't wait until their case got through the courts of Hell and they were able to put the bitch in her place by taking Via from her and giving her nothing in return during the divorce.

Stolas chittered in that way that he did when he was blushing and preparing to say something mushy, “There’s no price in the Nine Rings that’s too high when it comes to making sure that you’re safe, my dear. Both of you.”

Blitz’s hand moved down to the bottom part of his stomach, which was already beginning to swell with whatever baby had been implanted in him some months ago. He and Stolas hadn’t even been aware that it was possible for a member of the Ars Goetia and an imp to reproduce, so they hadn’t been as careful as they could have been. That was, of course, what had gotten him into trouble with his twins back when he was nineteen with the very imp that was standing outside the phonebooth. He couldn’t bring himself to regret it either time, though. The only thing that he did regret was being the first to do it because the absence of knowledge about how that worked made them both worried. They had no idea if Blitz could handle delivering an egg, like what Octavia was born in, or if he would go into labor and deliver live babies the same way that he had with his twins. There were a lot of questions and very few answers to be found, which had to be half of the reason that Stolas was so worried about the kidnapping.

He couldn’t help the smile that crossed over his face as he said, “I’m okay, Stolas. You know that I can handle this kind of thing.”

“But we don’t, Blitzy,” Stolas replied. “You could have been very hurt if your balance was off when you were trying to do one of your action hero moves. Let me know where you are and I can portal you right home.”

“Are you with Ozzie right now?” Blitz asked. It was awkward to have to refer to the man that his ex-partner was now embroiled with, but it was important. Stolas had said that he was going to request an Asmodean crystal for Blitz so that they could make their relationship official. If it was known that a Goetia was allowing his lover to use such a powerful magical artifact without permission from Paimon, the leader of the Ars Goetia, then they could both get in serious trouble. Blitz refused to give up his work even if he was just manning the office with his eldest daughter until the baby came, in whatever form that was.

“I am, in fact,” the other replied. “Why?”

Blitz went quiet for a while. He let out a low breath to try and settle the nausea in the back of his throat. He was glad for the pregnancy, for once, because it allowed him to blame that feeling on the fact that he was growing another being instead of it being about the idea of telling Fizz. That was stupid anyway, since he had already told the other imp and the reaction that he had feared didn’t come to pass in the way that he had feared it.

He straightened up in the phone booth and then waved at Fizz to make sure that the other was okay. “I want you to bring me and someone else to their palace. I, um, I finally told the twins father that they existed and I think that we should discuss when they’re going to meet for the first time.”

“Do you think that he’s going to try and fight for custody?” Stolas immediately asked.

“I don’t think so. And you know my feelings about how custody should work,” Blitz replied. Via had been very worried about what would happen to her when her parents finally settled in the courts. She didn’t want to have to go stay with her mother every other week, not when the woman had soured so completely since Stolas had cheated on her. Apparently her bad attitude had now transferred to being directed at her daughter instead of being reserved only for her ex-husband. They had managed to work in a clause that Via would get to choose where she wanted to go and who she wanted to be with. She wouldn’t get carted around based on the whims of her parents or a court system, she would have autonomy for who she got to be with.

Stolas agreed after a bit more poking and prodding, then got the coordinates that he needed from Blitz. The portal opened and they were permitted to step through onto the plush carpets of Ozzie’s mansion. It was decorated the same way that everything else in Lust was, with massive windows that let in the hazy pink light and blues thrown just about everywhere.

As soon as they were safely through the swirling bit of magic, Fizz launched himself off the ground and into his boyfriend’s arms. Blitz could barely even think about being jealous or envious of what they had because his own boyfriend was smothering him with affection. He knew that things were going to be okay, even if they would be weird and out of the ordinary. He hadn’t been loved the way he wanted during his first pregnancy, but he was getting it now. And Fizz would get to know what it was like to watch his children grown in the belly of the man he loved, even if that had to be with his third child and Ozzie instead of his eldest girls and Blitz.

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jils-things · 11 days ago

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over all thoughts i suppose? (spoilers, and knowing the kind of genre that mout.hwashing offers, these warnings can apply here. i tried not to say it so bluntly but do keep in mind if you're sensitive to it)

ITS SO LONG IM SORRY

this might come off as very rushed because its 12am and i have school sooo wkakdkks but but man. might not word stuff correctly and im sorry in advance but here goes

this game is one of those stories which really emphasizes on the fact that no one is really truly a winner or hero. one of the reasons why i love dark content such as this, is cuz of how people can go from being the kindest person, to the worst person alive and its all because of an event that is uncontrollable. man vs nature kind of plot device. the way they eventually get peeled off of their humanity just to protect themselves is... just something to stare in awe at. makes you think. tbh this line is most applicable to jimmy. hes a fuckin beast that i am afraid of

ive said this before, but this game really reminds me of lisa the pa.inful. the characters are forced into an uncontrollable situation, has this one consumable that is always present in the story (the mouthwash/the joy pill) and dealing with other people who cope with the situation differently. some are positive, some are neutral, or even worse

before i continue - i Do Not Like Jimmy. I do not respect him and I don't want to ever put him in a good light. so keep that in mind as i ponder about this.

jimmy is an incredibly complex character, i just wanna applaud the way he was written here - he's utterly detestable and flawed and yet he thinks he's doing the right thing. i hate to say it but he really helped make the story so. toe curling and unnerving. its insane. i really don't know where to start with this man but he clearly wants to be someone he's not. he's jealous of curly for being the superior leader, the one everyone relies on. the one in control. something he wishes he had. so when he actually does assume the role of captain, he starts to get so upset that he's failing to be their captain even if he wanted it. its so. its so petty like it seriously says a lot about him. he just wants to be feared YET he jumps the gun on everything AND doesn't want to be held accountable on what he does and blames it on everyone else. he just wants his hands to be clean. too bad. you are FLAWED everywhere. he's such a manipulator too, and i bet you that's why he wants to be in control. to let people do his bidding and if they fail, its their fault. not his. eeugg. i still will not forget his gaslighting towards daisuke on the vent scene. because of this, daisuke hurt himself SO bad. as if that wasnt it. fucking jimmy thought it was a good idea to THROW MOUTHWASH on DAISUKE'S BODY hoping it would act like some DISINFECTANT when even ANYA, THE MEDICAL STUDENT said that this is not a GOOD DISINFECTANT SUBSTITUTE. again. dude jumped the gun and just fucked around and found out. what happens? swansea is forced to mercy kill him. because of JIMMY'S DUMBASS. incredible fuckin work dude. /SARC.

as much as i am upset over daisuke's death, i dont think he had any chance after that disinfectant. he was practically burning alive and I wouldn't want him to suffer like that. its terrible. its sad even because i think swansea had a little familial bond with him and it probably really hurt him to do him like that. they remind me of hank and connor from dbh. hank was initially distant and mean to connor but through connor's kindheartedness and general innocence, hank couldn't be mean forever. the same can be said for swansea and daisuke. that's how i see it. i also wanna throw my 2 cents here, i feel that swansea is very regretful for not being the most... successful man. especially as a father. i feel that him being with daisuke is his second chance to be a good father figure to someone since he has already failed his own family and wanted to make up for it by teaching daisuke how to be a mechanic (again, reminds me of lisa the p.ainful. brad and buddy. if u know, u know)

i remember somewhere during my gameplay, jim was so angry when anya asked him to do the pill duty on curly. like hello? as captain aren't you supposed to understand your crewmates? why so dismissive? aren't they your responsibility and it's your job to also check on their morale??? why do you think the sweetener is only within captain's restriction? to ensure that everyone's mentally okay! hours go by, i see curly and he says his chad line "as captain, you are all my responsibility" AND I WAS LIKE OKAY THIS MAN GETS IT. HATE HOW THE GOOD ONES GO TOO SOON. CLEARLY JIM IS WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE he doesn't deserve that spot its insane he was provided that role. (i am aware of their. friendship :\)

ok ok i know you're gonna say "jil curly isnt that perfect either" YES that's why i said earlier "nobody is truly a hero" we all know that scene when anya confessed what happened to her and what did he do? idk he just says. "ill talk to him" sorry what akdjfhdhd i don't think talking is enough. he needs to be held accountable for that.... oopsie! nopee! jim already fails at being responsible soooo!!!! im sure i can say more for curly but atm ill just. stop there because i would prefer to do a round 2 of the game and then provide more insight

anya is... is a tragedy to me. a girl who had to retake her medical classes only for none of it to be successful, so she's left feeling unconfident knowing shes not really... well versed. but she really is trying her best and it has to be appreciated. the mere fact that curly is still alive is definitely because of her and i think she did amazing. she is a very sweet, and smart woman. i just hate how agaiiin ooh fuckenn jimmy has the gall to see her less of a person and devalue her worth its so djfbfbhdjdjd UGH it must be so overwhelming for her too, as the only woman in the ship it can be really scary. she's lucky to have swansea, daisuke and curly treat her right. except for Him. truly sickening. the fact that he didn't react so much to her ... demise is so ://// arent you at least, perhaps, feeling guilty? (no he's not) (the only nightmare he has of her is the fact she has ... a baby because of Him. yet again. displaying his need to have a perfect record. to have no dirt on himself. but he really does.) i truly feel sorry for her, she didn't want her unsuccessful classes define her capabilities, so she always tries her best to be informed. about the ship, her medical work, and curly of course. i remember when she said "our worst moments doesnt have to define us as monsters" or however it went. i like to think she was also saying this to herself, that even if she's just a nurse and not a doctor, she can still be of help. and it doesn't make her any less credible. i really want to hug her. i noticed she became so nervous and antsy after that subtext had been implied, i feel sorry for her.

daisuke is probably last person to have committed something so serious (iirc) and he was in fact, the victim of something worse. though it doesnt make him the perfect character either because he's just some guy who didnt have a good future ahead of him and just got there because his parents wanted him to be worthy. he was quite insecure about not being useful. (jim exploited that.)

yes daisuke may be irritating to them, but he really means good and he tries not to fight with others. im sure this is also his way of respecting everyone else as he's just an intern and they all collectively know better than his rookie self. he's quite obedient.

i wish i could say more because i really really loved this tragedy from start to finish and I could pinpoint every small detail but... ill just hold myself there hehe

i dont wanna start any arguments or debates abt the charas, i just wanna express how i understand them so far. dont take these for granted since this is all based from my first play and i'd definitely be more informed and well versed if i replayed/took time to read the intricate details

i'm very happy to have checked this game out. i was first exposed to this by jack's video and i immediately put it on watch later, not knowing it would get super popular lolol but im glad to catch up now

#~ rambling #mouthwashing hours #zzzzzzzz

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griseldabanks · 10 months ago

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Maybelle and the Beast

My contribution to the @inklings-challenge Four Loves Fairy Tale Challenge. This was my back-up idea for last year, so I was excited to have an excuse to finally write it out! Beauty and the Beast is my favorite fairy tale, and I have a feeling I may revisit this particular version again in the future, because I could definitely turn this into a novel ;) I'll admit to taking a lot of inspiration from Robin McKinley's retellings of this fairy tale.

Maybelle stared at the tall, imposing mahogany door. She felt just as reluctant to open it as if it had been the barred portal to a dungeon—like the cold stone chamber she'd explored early on in her stay here, which she expected had been a dungeon once but was now a wine cellar.

More to stall for time than anything else, Maybelle brushed off her rust red skirt and straightened her collar. It was a nervous habit, but in a way it also served to remind her of why she was here, because of who had given her these clothes. Days, weeks, months in this huge, empty mansion, alone except for one companion. The companion who had slammed this very door not half an hour ago.

Taking a deep breath, Maybelle knocked firmly on the door.

“Go 'way,” a muffled voice growled out to her.

Letting out her breath again in an impatient huff, Maybelle crossed her arms. “Are you still sulking, Agnes?”

“I am not sulking,” the voice insisted sulkily.

“Right. You're lying in bed at three in the afternoon, glaring a hole in the ceiling, for your health.”

After a heavy silence, a loud click told her the key had turned in the hole. Taking that as an invitation, Maybelle opened the door and stepped inside.

The heavy drapes had been pulled closed, leaving the bedroom in a stuffy half-light. The only illumination came from the embers of the fire dying in the fireplace. She could barely even make out the silhouette of a large bulk lying in the huge four-poster. It was like stepping into a sickroom.

Rolling her eyes at the drama of it all, Maybelle closed the door with a snap and made a beeline for the window closest to the fireplace. She pulled the curtains aside, letting a band of lazy afternoon sunlight stretch across the carpet, revealing the twisting patterns of vines and roses. After a moment's consideration, Maybelle decided not to open the curtains of the other window nearest the bed. Best not to annoy Agnes any further with a sunbeam in her eyes. She would probably just wave her hand and make the curtains close, then stick together so Maybelle couldn't open them again. Instead, Maybelle contented herself with throwing the window open and letting in the delicious scents of flowers and the buzzing of bees from the gardens.

“There,” she said, drawing in a deep breath of the fresh smell of spring. “Much better.”

With a grunt, the huge lump on the bed rolled over.

Maybelle walked up to the foot of the bed and stood there with her hands on her hips, just waiting. How strange, to remember how frightened she had been the first time she'd ventured into this room. Or how her knees had nearly given out the first time she'd dared to meet the gaze of the terrible Beast who was to be her captor.

It had been months since she'd ceased to be the Beast, and became instead...simply Agnes.

“Well?” Maybelle said, when it became clear Agnes wasn't about to break the silence. “Aren't we going to at least talk about this?”

The long tail lying on top of the blue bedspread flicked irritably, like a huge cat's. “What's to talk about?” Agnes retorted, her voice grumbling like a motorcar in her massive chest. “Clearly, you don't care what happens to me, as long as you get to go have fun without me.”

Closing her eyes for a moment, Maybelle sent up a silent prayer for patience. “Well, for starters,” she said, her voice coming out more sharply than she'd intended, “you called me an awful lot of horrid names, and I thought perhaps you might want to apologize.”

A long, pregnant pause. Finally, with a long-suffering groan from the bed, Agnes rolled over onto her back, her arms tucked up against her chest almost like a dog waiting for a belly rub. The long, black skirt did little to hide her bowed legs ending in sharp claws, and from this angle, her long saber teeth and curled goat-like horns were no longer hidden in her mountain of pillows.

Agnes sighed in resignation. “Sorry for calling you a selfish, bird-brained floozy.”

Maybelle nodded. “Apology accepted. And...I'm sorry too. For calling you a heartless, hairy pig.”

Their eyes met across the room. Agnes let out a snort, followed by a loud guffaw, and suddenly Maybelle found herself laughing as well. The tight coil of anger and bitterness loosened in her chest as she tipped her head back and let her higher-pitched laughter harmonize with Agnes' deep, hefty chuckles.

Still giggling, Maybelle crossed over and flopped onto the huge bed beside Agnes. She felt so tiny in this bed, like a doll. And yet, even though she was sure Agnes could snap her like a twig if she so desired, Maybelle didn't feel a shred of fear to lie a mere foot away from her.

For a couple minutes, they merely lay there, staring up into the canopy over the four-poster. Maybelle had just realized the stars embroidered there formed constellations and was looking for Orion when Agnes broke the silence.

“You were right, you know.” Her voice was a low, sad rumble like a locomotive rushing past in the night. “I am a pig.”

“Oh, no!” Maybelle raised herself on one elbow, looking over in alarm. “Please, forget those awful things I said. It was very wrong of me to call you that.”

Agnes turned her head aside, but Maybelle thought she caught the sight of a tear glistening in one eye. “You were only speaking the truth. Like you always do. I am heartless. Because I care more about not being alone than I do about you getting a chance to see your family. Even when all you ask is to go to your sister's wedding...I'm too selfish to let you go.”

Slowly, Maybelle lowered herself to her pillow again. She wasn't quite sure what to say, so she spoke slowly, picking her words carefully. “I wasn't thinking of you either. I'm sorry, Agnes. I know...I mean, I can imagine how lonely it must get here, in this huge mansion all alone. But it would only be for the weekend. Just enough to meet Edward and see Adeline off. I'd be back before you could miss me too much.”

“You...would come back?”

Agnes' voice sounded so hesitant and tremulous, Maybelle looked over in surprise, but she couldn't make out her friend's expression past the horn and the unruly mane of hair. “Of course I'll come back. That's part of the deal.”

The silence seemed to congeal between them. Neither of them had mentioned the deal Agnes and Maybelle's father had worked out, not since...Maybelle couldn't even remember. During the past several months, it had become easy to forget how all of this began. When Maybelle had first arrived at the mansion, she'd shut thoughts of home out of her mind as much as possible, to make her dreadful fate a little more bearable. If she weren't constantly thinking of the little cottage or trying to imagine what her father and sisters were up to, perhaps she could carve a small measure of contentment out of her exile. It was a small price to pay for her father's life, after all.

But it had been months since Maybelle had seriously believed that Agnes would have eaten her father. Not after she'd seen the delicate way Agnes handled the gardening tools when she tended to her enchanted rose bushes. Not after the way she'd cradled that finch's body in her enormous hands, huge tears rolling down her hairy face as she muttered spell after spell that fizzled out, unable to bring the tiny animal back to life.

Not after scores upon scores of cozy evenings by the fire, laughing together as Maybelle tried to teach Agnes how to knit with two iron pokers, or taking turns reading from one of the books in the huge library.

For the first time, Maybelle tried to imagine what life must have been like for Agnes in all the years before her father had shown up on the doorstep. Sitting alone in front of a guttering fire. Pacing the dark, dusty hallways, with nothing to hear but the echoes of her own footsteps. Wandering the grounds, able to turn the seasons at a word and the weather at a glance, but with nothing but the birds and bees to listen to her words. A library that magically seemed to provide exactly the book she wanted to read, but all the stories of friendship and adventure only serving to mock her solitude.

“I promise I'll come back,” Maybelle said firmly. “Deal or no deal. I won't leave you alone forever.”

A strange, strangled sound escaped Agnes, quickly disguised in a clearing of her throat. “Well,” she said gruffly, “good. But if you don't come back in three days, I'll die.”

Maybelle rolled her eyes. Always so dramatic.

-----

It was raining when Maybelle returned to the mansion. Since it was midsummer out in the rest of the world, she hadn't thought to pack a coat, so she just ducked her head and hurried up the gravel walk to the great front doors. This wasn't a summer rain, either; the chilly breeze cut right through the thin sleeves of the flower-patterned dress Violette had made for her.

The front doors seemed heavier than usual. Normally, they swung open at the first touch of her hand, but this time Maybelle had to throw her shoulder against one to open it. Perhaps Agnes had left a window open somewhere and there was a draft. Though that seemed strange; surely Agnes would have either closed the window or shifted the weather instead of letting all this cold rain blow in.

Maybelle turned back to glance out the door. It looked like Agnes had fully committed to a dreary late November today. The bare branches of the trees clacked together while the wind howled through them, cold raindrops splashing in puddles that turned the walkways to mud. It made her wonder if the rain had kept up the whole time she'd been away.

Shivering, Maybelle heaved the front door closed again, picked up her bag, and started towards the stairs. “Agnes!” she called, her voice echoing around the huge entryway. “I'm home!”

She was halfway up the stairs, struggling with her free hand to unpin her hair and wring out some of the water, when she realized the lamps were dark. Her feet slowed to a stop in the lush carpeting, and she frowned up at the huge chandelier that hung over the open space. Every time she'd set foot in this hall—or anywhere else in the house, for that matter—candles lit themselves and lamps burst to life. At first, she'd found it frightening, especially when she would walk down a long, straight corridor with the candles flaring up in front of her and winking out behind her, leaving her in a bubble of illumination.

But after all these months, she'd grown used to such things. Doors opening at a touch, lamps lighting on their own, plates of food and cups of tea appearing on tables right when she wanted them, a bath drawn and waiting for her without even the hint of a servant in sight. It was all part of the magic of this place. Agnes' magic.

In the cold darkness and silence, Maybelle suddenly remembered what Agnes had said before her trip. If you don't come back in three days, I'll die.

A chill ran down her spine that had nothing to do with her soaked dress. Surely Agnes had just been exaggerating, the way she so often did. Like that time she'd said she felt like she'd been alone in this mansion for a hundred years. Or when she said she lived under a curse.

But still...where was she? After all the fuss she'd made when Maybelle had first asked to leave, why wasn't she waiting for her? Was she sulking in her room again?

“Agnes!” Maybelle called again, slowly climbing the rest of the stairs. “I'm back! Where are you?”

Nothing but silence to welcome her.

Her footsteps slowed as she reached the top of the stairs and turned to the right, heading for her room. The corridor was wide enough that there wasn't much danger of bumping into things, but it was all so eerie without candles lighting her way. She paused at the corner, where a tall window offered a bit of cold illumination.

Shivering, Maybelle looked out at the darkening grounds, still lashed by the driving rain. The rosebushes looked like they were taking a beating, magic or no magic. Even as she watched, the wind stripped leaves off the branches, and most of the brightly-colored petals were already gone. What on earth was Agnes thinking? Even in her most fickle moods, she would usually relent if she realized it would endanger her precious roses....

Maybelle frowned. What was that dark lump in the middle of the path? She hadn't noticed it as she rushed up the front drive, but from this higher vantage point, she could see it clearly. Was it a tarp caught under a wheelbarrow, knocked onto its side in all this wind?

No. Those weren't the handles of a wheelbarrow. They were horns. Two horns, curled like a goat's, rising from a big hairy head lying in the mud....

Dropping everything, Maybelle grabbed her dripping skirts and raced back down the corridor. She hopped up onto the banister as she'd done so many times before and slid expertly to the bottom. Laughing as Agnes tried to imitate her and toppled over the side in a heap.

She ran to the front door and heaved it open, letting go as the howling wind gusted in and slammed it back against the wall. “Last one inside's a rotten egg!”

The rain almost seemed to be falling horizontally, the wind was so strong. Holding up an arm to shield her face, Maybelle splashed along the muddy path as fast as she could. Walking along the path, crunching through the snow, leaving behind a neat row of shoe prints and paw prints side-by-side.

“Agnes!” Maybelle screamed, the wind stealing her voice, as she turned down an aisle between the rosebushes. “You were wrong when you said there was nothing beautiful about you, Agnes. Just look at your roses!”

There she lay, like a mound of dirt, one arm flung around a rosebush as if to protect it, the other curled tight against her chest. She wasn't moving.

“Agnes?” Maybelle dropped to her knees in a puddle by Agnes' side. Throwing her weight against Agnes' huge shoulder, she managed to roll her onto her back. But how would she ever drag her up into the house?

A weak groan escaped Agnes' lips, and her eyelids fluttered, then slid open. “May...belle?”

Hot tears stung Maybelle's eyes. “Thank goodness!” she cried, grasping Agnes' hand in both of hers. “I thought you were....”

Agnes slowly opened her hand, and Maybelle saw that it was cupped around a small, bedraggled red rose. Most of the petals were gone, and those that remained looked wilted.

“Last one,” Agnes grunted. “Not much...time now.”

“It's all right,” Maybelle said, trying to give her an encouraging smile. “We can replant. Once you're feeling a little stronger, maybe you can turn the weather back to spring and—“

“No.” A shudder ran through Agnes' whole body, and her face twisted in a horrible grimace of pain. “No starting over. No...No use.”

“What are you talking about?” Maybelle patted her friend's hand. “Of course we can start over. We can always start over.”

“But...we sh-shouldn't.” Agnes' voice grew fainter by the minute, and Maybelle had to lean closer to hear. “Just...go back home...Maybelle.”

Icy fingers of dread closed around Maybelle's heart. “What? No! I made a promise, remember? I'm to stay here in my father's place—“

“I release you.” Her big amber eyes rolled to meet Maybelle's, bloodshot and exhausted, but crystal clear. “It was...wrong. I...was wrong. To make you stay...against your will. So...I...re...lease...you....”

With that final whisper, her eyes slid closed, and her head lolled back onto the ground. A shiver, like a tiny electric pulse, ran through Maybelle's whole body, and she knew that some sort of spell had just ended.

“No, Agnes!” Frantically, Maybelle chafed Agnes' hands, patted her cheeks, loosened her collar. “Agnes, you don't understand! I'm not here against my will! We're friends, Agnes! I want to be here!”

The huge beast didn't move. This wasn't like the times Agnes sulked and refused to talk to Maybelle. She couldn't even tell if Agnes was breathing anymore.

Desperate to do something, Maybelle tried to heave Agnes into her arms, but the most she could manage was to cradle Agnes' head in her lap. Tears mingled with rainwater on her furry cheeks.

What if she were dead already? What would Maybelle do then? Go back to her family? But there would be no more strolling through the gardens in the evening, no more reading by firelight, no more long conversations or teaching each other games or trying to braid each other's hair or teaching Agnes how to dance or listening to her wonderful singing voice or laughing at each other's silly jokes or....

“Don't be stupid, Agnes!” Maybelle sobbed. “You're my best friend. The best friend I've ever had. No one knows me like you do. No one cares like you do. If I knew this would happen to you, I never would have gone away.”

Maybelle rested her cheek against Agnes' forehead, in between the horns, and rocked back and forth, holding her best friend close. “I'm sorry, Agnes...I'm sorry.... I never wanted to lose you. I just...I just wanted to keep being your friend. Always. Forever.” A painful sob ripped out of her chest as her best friend's body lay cold and still in her arms. “I love you, Agnes.”

Faintly, Maybelle was aware that the wind had died down, and raindrops no longer pounded down on her head and shoulders. The realization of what that meant only made her cry harder. Her fingers tangled in Agnes' mane of hair as she mumbled over and over again, “I love you, Agnes...I love you....”

“Love you too.”

Maybelle looked up at those gruff words, then gave a great start as she realized she held a complete stranger in her arms.

The woman she held was large, with broad shoulders and a squarish jaw. She was no great beauty, especially not with disheveled brown hair straggling all over the place or her body swimming in Agnes' oversized dress, but there was something comfortable and familiar about....

Wait. “Ag...nes?”

Moving stiffly, the woman held her own hands up in front of her face and turned them around, as if she'd never seen them before. Slowly, a wondering smile crossed her face, and Maybelle noticed this woman's front teeth protruded slightly.

Not too unlike the huge fangs that had curved from Agnes' lips.

Then she raised her eyes to meet Maybelle's, and there was no doubt. Those were the amber-brown eyes of her best friend.

“Agnes!”

They threw their arms around each other, and they were crying, but they were also laughing, and Agnes was trying to tell her something about a fairy and a flower and a curse, but Maybelle was too distracted by how small Agnes was in her arms. How high Agnes' voice was.

“How?” she gulped, pulling back and holding Agnes at arms' length. “How did this happen?”

“It's all you, silly!” Agnes laughed, swiping her sleeve over Maybelle's cheeks to dry her tears. She still moved carefully, as if afraid of accidentally swiping Maybelle with nonexistent claws. “True love breaks any curse, don't you know that?”

“True love?” Maybelle sniffled.

Tears spilled out of Agnes' beautiful amber eyes and rolled down her round, rosy cheeks. “What love could be truer than this?” she said with a shaky laugh. “That you'd still want to be friends with someone as beastly as me?”

“Oh, you're not as bad as all that.”

Agnes raised her eyebrows. “Really? Even after all those nasty things I said to scare you on your first night here? Or when I threw a chair at you and screamed when you went exploring in the west wing?”

“Well....” Maybelle didn't know how to deny it without completely lying, so she hastily changed the subject. “I don't regret anything, though. I don't regret coming here. I don't regret deciding to be your friend.”

With a watery chuckle, Agnes rested their foreheads together. “I don't regret it either.”

#inklingschallenge #four loves fairy tale challenge #theme: philia #story: complete #beauty and the beast #fairy tales #set in vaguely-victorian era #maybelle #agnes

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sensitivelittlevorta · 2 months ago

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Enterprise Season 1 Episode 1 and 2 Broken Bow

1:42-1:50 Dude, that looks uncomfortable. Also, the way he pushed his ass through like he was swimming.

2:06-2:15 what the hell was stored in that thing no way that was just the weapon?! I thought that’s like a silo and there is just food in there?! But no?

2:40 OH MY GOD THE THEME SONG OH MY GOD I LOVE IT. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THEME SONG?!

6:20 Klingot… Gringotts

7:20 Ooooh, the creepy smile doctor

7:45 isn’t dying because of wounds you got in battle but not in the actual battle actually pretty bad for a Klingon and you won’t go to whatever-it-is-called or is it the same? For the norse it is bad, I remember Thor telling Sif that in the fourth Thor movie.

8:22 (this is terrible, because of mouth movement or translating issues of idioms which don’t exist in other cultures they sometimes have to change sentences and they changed ‘knock you on your ass’ to ‘über’s Knie legen’ which literally translates to laying someone over their knees (so you can spank them (in a disciplining way)) but you can imagine what I thought when he figuratively said he wanted to spank her…💀 )

9:18 oooh, soval didn’t like being called out

10:20 Theee dooooooooggggg. Riiiiighthhtkjadk. They had a dog on board in this series!1!!!!1!!!!!!!

14:30 POOOOOOORTHOOOOOOS111!!1111!11!!!111!!111!!!!!!!111!11

18:20 why does the Enterprise have a disc slot…? Although it looks more like a snow shovel in this shot.🤣

20:04 is the Chinese food in San Francisco in 2150 authentic? Is the food there now authentic?

20:25 What do you think is in your normal day food? There’s literally bugshit in some candies. Don’t be so shocked about the droppings of some alien animal to be used as medicine.

21:27 that grin. That godamm grin. Also I think it made Archer doubt his life decisions for a split second

21:28 I remember that scene!

22:50 yeah… I definitely remember that scene… what a funny joke… third hand… funny… why? he doesn’t even have three hands🥲

24:10 I really wonder if we will still eat meat regularly in 2150. The number of people who don’t is rising, but how high will it rise in the next 100 years?

25:04 how many times did she have to try that?! Also, Archer is not impressed but very amused.

31:00 The Vulcans are out there and really think they know everything and are allowed to dictate the humans how to live life. What about meddling with other species? Oh yeah, my bad. That’s only forbidden until the species can use warp drive. After that they can just tell others what to do and what not to do. This really makes me hate Vulcans, but pretty sure that’s wanted, so…, good writing?

31:31 wäääähhhh!

31:46 wääääh. I don’t want to look at that! Please close him up. I don’t care about his lungs.

35:10 those green guys’ skin reminds me of those red rubbery running tracks. Also, I hate it when they speak a different language and require me to look at the screen to read the subtitles, I have no idea what they said in the beginning because I was looking at my phone

36:20 those jackets look awful. Ugly snake leather jackets

37:03 and you just know those Rigellians are smaller than Klingons?

38:45 are they naked? Are they clothed? Are they both?

39:40 gosh. I remember that scene and I am pretty sure I didn’t like it

40:04 please don’t say anything Trip. You have no idea what’s going on.

40:22-40:43 I told you! don’t say anything! If T’Pol says that, then please believe her. And she is right with interfering. Please don’t gimme anymore secondhand embarrassment.

41:03 can you at least give me one thing an enclave can mean?

43:27 pretty sure being bigger than an alien doesn’t mean you’re also stronger than them or that they don’t know how to turn that against you.

43:45 dude what? Why? Girl?! Why? I wouldn’t want to get kissed by some random alien that’s holding me captive… no matter how attractive they seem to be… Especially when she looks completely different after it!

44:09 and very close contact can’t just be skin contact? Like cheek on cheek? Or just hand on hand? Does it need to be the head? Can’t you just hug him? Why does it always have to be something sexual?

46:18 she dead. (also what kinda run was that steppystep over her and then steppysteprun XD)

46:47 you really should remember where you parked your car. My father taught me that since I was little. I thought Vulcans and Humans of the 22nd century should know that.

52:00 Why is this so sexual? I have no idea what they’re talking about because I am too busy feeling unwell because of that sexual massage thing they have going on.

52:25 why did she just shortly smear the cream on his back and then went to his legs? Surely, he is very capable of doing his legs himself. Can you please smear it on his back? Again, shortly back to the back and then suddenly his shoulders and his ears. He can do that himself? Just smear it in a nonsexual way on his back, please?! Now that we can’t see her doing his back, she is doing his back? They just show the sexual parts, yes? And the normal back one is off camera? Of course. And then he just leaves. Are they even allowed to leave yet? (imagine that with Archer and Shran though. In the same weird sexual way, but they just talk normally about their mission and then leave, and the audience is just hungry for more)

53:23 yummy…

53:43 (why are his legs less hairy than his chest? Is that normal? That’s a serious question, I have no knowledge about stuff like that)

45:30 is it logical to do that?

58:45 safety belts seem to be a good idea in general on board of starships. The amount of times people fly out of theirs seats on those series is way too high to not have seatbelts xd

59:49 that’s the Caretaker's array

1:01:20 Hoshi is about to get a panic attack

1:01:30 is that their tractor beam?! When was the tractor beam invented? That’s just two gacha claws on strings? How do you even aim that? If you miss with them, you have to retrieve them and shoot them again. I love it.

1:01:55 is that making fun of themselves because in the other series their displays also look like that?

1:03:38 would it? I thought nothing beats accidentally killing an alien when you just wanted to stun them…

1:03:58 sounds like you have a few squirrels in the controls

1:06:10 how you know that wasn’t killing?

1:11:08 disco!!! Where’s the music though? That was an elevator? Just more reason to wonder where the music was.

1:11:45 *snickers* *snorts* *starts laughing out loud*

1:13:10 why do those people always claim to know more about someone then the person themselves? I mean it makes sense in this setting with timetravel and all that, but in general, why do they think they know more? They can’t look into their heads, so why do they say that? Just to impress or frighten the other? I would be neither impressed nor frightened. Although I would be frightened to be in those situations in general 😅

1:15:10 is the timethingie going on in there also changing the way sound moves or why can’t neither of them locate the other by the origin of their voice?

1:15:25 that looked like it should have crushed his skull

1:16:00 eeeww

1:15:49-1:16:05 first scene: green running track guy has a strange hold on Archers uniform

second scene: green running track guy suddenly has Archer in a strange chokehold

third scene: green running track guy suddenly doesn’t have Archer in a strange chokehold anymore

1:16:25 same. I would be glad to be in one piece too. His face and hands though

Absolute shock on his face of having been beamed and he's still in one piece.

1:17:48 that smile…

1:18:13 The information is in his DNA?! That is small. Very small.

1:18:47 but I want to know what he said?! Tell me, Hoshi!

1:18:54 POOOOORHTOOOOOS. Awwww, his little tail is wagging so hard it’s just a ‘woosh��. Little baby boy.

#star trek enterprise #jonathan archer #t'pol #hoshi #rewatch #my commentary #my pics #broken bow #this took years to make btw #i don't know how often I'll manage to upload those #also for some reason the timestamps from the dvd are different to netflix #so this is timestamps of the dvd but the next ones could be from netflix #maybe I'll change these timestamps too

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alisterix · 2 years ago

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@zitronenmilchmaedchen great tag! What have you done. Now I'll never shut up. This is for you and for everybody else who cares a lot about Cacofonix/Assurancetourix.

Justforkix/Goudurix (from Asterix and the Vikings) did! Though not in the movie (because it didn't have as much focus on Cacofonix) but in the comic book that the movie was based on, Asterix and the Normans. This volume has a special place in my heart for how much spotlight and appreciation Cacofonix received in it, so let's talk about it!

After Cacofonix attempted to sing and received the usual response from his fellows, Justforkix proceeded to compliment him, he even went as far as to tell him that he's wasting his talent in the village and that he'd make a great career in Lutetia!

The thought excited Cacofonix so much he kept bringing it up multiple times to Justforkix, who at that point was too scared by the Normans coming to Gaul to really pay any attention to the bard and his career. Eventually Cacofonix decided to take matters into his own hands and leave...

...at the worst possible time! He left unaware of the fact that the Normans had kidnapped Justforkix and refused to let him go unless there was another way to teach them the meaning of fear. The best way to strike fear into the Normans' souls was, of course, Cacofonix, though fetching the bard turned out to be more difficult than expected since he had to be chased down and persuaded to abandon his plans of prestige and fame.

He didn't hesitate one bit though once he learned that Justforkix was the one who needed his help. How could he not rush to his aid, the teen has been so kind to him and appreciative of him after all, unlike all those barbarians he's constantly surrounded with, with no appreciation for music! He happily returned, put one hell of a performance and reveled in well deserved praise for it. The goal was accomplished: the Normans learned to feel fear, Justforkix was safe, Cacofonix got to give his first real concert in front of a willing audience. He gets to be the hero that saves the day!

The satisfaction from it appeared to be enough for Cacofonix to not give any more thought to his previous career plans. He stayed and even got to participate in the banquet, instead of being tied up like usual, which I honestly love so much. His singing, though almost universally frowned upon, has proven helpful and worthy of respect. What a sweet and validating moment for my boy <3

The way Justforkix appreciated Cacofonix's singing is really endearing to me! Also gets me thinking. Is Cacofonix's music really, objectively terrible or has he just not found the right audience for himself? The way his fellow folks dismiss his singing as "not actual music, just horrible noise" vs Justforkix saying "whoa this is actually really good omg you're so underrated" reminds me of how you'd have fans of, let's say, death metal, music with lots of screaming ect, and then there are people who can't stand it and it's awful to them. Lmao I am delighted by the idea of Lutetian teenagers vibing really well with Cacofonix and his "edgy" music... and then their parents being like, ugh, kids these days, what even is this nonsense they are listening to. This awful bard has a terrible influence on our children xD

#asterix #cacofonix #assurancetourix #troubadix #Asterix and the Normans #rambling about Cacofonix #I will take literally every chance to talk about Cacofonix honestly #I mean!!!#this is fascinating stuff #I didn't think of this when I was drawing my silly little comic about Cacofonix going to Lutetia #I honestly forgot he already canonly planned to but ended up not going #and now I'm wondering how his career would look like if he did end up going to Lutetia like he wanted #I would pay big money for a Cacofonix centric BD about him going to Lutetia to make a name for himself #I have ideas #justforkix #goudurix #Cacofonix isn't actually bad you guys are just mean isn't the hill I expected to die on today and yet #lol Cacofonix sympathizer behavior #look it's not impossible for something unappealing in the mainstream to have its very specific and affirming niche #I have faith in him #and clearly I'm not the only one

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cssnder · 7 months ago

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I am invading askboxes today! Please accept this question;

What genre are you interested in writing in, but haven't tried?

Quite frankly, I don't even think I've read too many of them but historical fiction sounds very interesting to me. What I'll say might sound disturbing but I've always been morbidly interested in historical figures such as The Marquis de Sade, for example. Perhaps write something that's set during the events of 1789 in France, with themes of libertinism, depravation, morality and hedonism? And make it a novel in the vein of De Navarre's Heptameron at the beginning but have it slowly descend into a more complex narrative as the corruption grows? I'm thinking about it.

Another thing I would love to write is a Southern Gothic novel. I am really into novels such as A Choir of Ill Children, The Devil All The Time, Wise Blood, and Child of God. I am absolutely into it even, to the point that it is actually difficult to believe that I haven't written anything in this vein yet.

Romance is a genre I am not generally interested in, particularly because I think I am quite awful at it and also, I must admit it, this is not the genre of books I pick up of my own volition. Nevertheless, I like the idea of writing something deemed as ‘romance’, but that is just as evil, twisted and taboo as Brontë's Wuthering Heights or even Nabokov's Lolita — which, let's remind it for the late crowd, is not a romance. And to be honest, this is what I intend for my still untitled novel to be. I want to write an unfathomably terrible novel, to write evil in all its nuances. Not demons nor serial killers, for my conception of evil here is found in human relationships. I want violence, betrayal, incestuous love, perfidy! And I want to fool you into thinking this is a love story.

This last one is very ambitious, but if I ever feel bold enough, and if I ever get an idea that permits it, I'd like to write an epic poem or a play in verses — with dactylic hexameter and all, I mean, and certainly not poetry à la Rupi Kaur. Works like Paradise Lost, The Divine Comedy, The Aeneid and The Iliad are often in my mind. There's tremendous beauty in them, tremendous humanity and violence also, in their poetry. This is something I'd be ready to spend over a decade on if I'm ever blessed with the inspiration to write it. Although, of course, I am aware this is perhaps not the kind of things a modern audience would find pleasure in reading.

I don't know how many of these I'll actually get to write, nor do I know if I'll write them at all, but we'll see. Fate always has an enchanting way of surprising us.

#A Writer's Diary #Ask Cassander

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festivalsofmargot · 2 years ago

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Hi, I absolutely adore your writing and I think you're really good at it. I can always picture things clearly while reading your fics, and your dialogue and descriptions never come off as clunky, they're just very natural and flow-well together. So, I was wondering if I could ask for a few writing tips? I want to contribute to the fandom a bit more, but I'm worried my writing is terrible. "is this too much dialogue? Is this slice-of-life conversation too boring? Why am I switching between past and current tense multiple times in the same sentence? Should I write in first, second, or third person", etc. Do you also think things like that when you write, and if so, how do you overcome them? I don't have anyone to share my writing with, so it's difficult to get another perspective on if something is worth posting or if I should re-write it altogether. I'd appreciate any tips you might have, but please don't feel pressured to answer or anything :)

😭😭😭 namiusedbubble... absolutely I'm down to geek out about writing with you! (And thank you so much for taking the time to tell me you enjoy my writing. ❤)

Now buckle up, because when I geek out, I geek out bruh. I've definitely put down too much, but I'm glad I'll have a post to remind myself why I love writing at least. 🥰

If you don't have the time or desire to read all this, I don't blame you lol. Main thing I want to say is I've creeped on your page and read your 'When they have a crush on you' post and by all means... please keep contributing to the fandom!!!

"You took your time getting there; you are on the solid ground of the other shore and we did the crawl along with you. We're willing to listen to anything you have to say. Now go ahead, get wild." - Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones

Also, excuse my potty mouth 😗

Believe me, I have the exact same worries as you. The EXACT same. It happens with each one of my fics, it really does. Every time I'm nearly finished and proofread it for the hundreth time, I'm always hit with "This is boring as shit, who the fuck's gonna want to sit through this? I'm such a moron, this sentence makes no goddamn sense. The fuck was I even trying to say here? How did I miss that?? My writing is getting worse every day? Epic." and so on and so forth with me swearing at and berating myself lmfao.

I'll tell you why we keep switching between past and present tense multiple times in one sentence. Because our brains are lil assholes that's why. But getting the idea down is the main battle. Let every draft before your final one be awful, don't be afraid to get more of your ideas down. Our sentences can be pretty horrendous getting them written out for the first time. I think I proofread my stuff at least ten times. And just when I think I'm good, I sleep on it and look it over one more time the next day. And I still have typos and present tense sentences in my past tense story.

Some people are prodigies and can get these beautiful stories out like it's nothin'. I've accepted I'm not one of 'em. I don't have talent, but I do have tenacity!

When it comes to first, second, or third person, go for the one that flows best for you rather than the one you think you should do. I'm usually able to tell which one is best when I get a good writing momentum going. Say I was aiming for first person, but when the ideas are pouring out I find myself writing in third person instead, I'll drop first person and go third person. Anything that'll let me get my stuff down. Even if you do write in two different persons without thinking, you can always go back and fix it. There's no rush, you have all the time in the world. 🙂

I like second and third person the best because I can describe what all the characters are feeling rather than just one person's point of view. First person will have a lot more mystery. I've been digging second person because I feel like it really connects the reader to the fic. Plus I like hyping you guys up lol. 😊

When it comes to worrying about the content of your writing, believe me when I say, it will itch someone's scratch. There's an audience for everything. Some people want the slowest of slow burns, some people want hot and heavy and dirty, some people want aimless slice of life bits, and some people want quick, nice, and fluffy. Our writing won't be for everyone, and that's perfectly fine. I'll say it again, THAT IS FINE. We're still worthy!

Sure, sometimes your content will get in front of the wrong people. And they might even feel the need to say something shitty to you. Fuck 'em. Whenever I get attacked, I watch those reacting to hate comments videos on youtube. You're never alone when it comes to putting up with shitheads online.

I love writing because I have a scenario stuck in my head and I need to get it down. I'm not satisfied with it only living in my head. Once I'm done, putting it out there for anyone else to stop by for 5 minutes and check out is just a bonus. If people don't like my style or structure, oh well. I like it, and let's face it. I'm the only person that my writing and little fandom posts will be with years and years down the line. If you've made something you personally want to keep coming back to, you've won.

Here's where I get technical if you're still interested haha. When it comes to how I personally like to write, this is what I think about. You do not have to vibe with any of this! This is just a lil peak into my mind teehee:

Actions and mannerisms are everything, no matter how small, maybe the smaller the better.

I realized I really like reading about the little actions people do when I first read The Wolfman by Nicholas Pekearo (RIP). If there's a writing style I want to capture, it's this guy's. Combining cutesy, romantic content with his gruff prose is my biggest writing goal in life. I have no idea why this sentence is stuck in the back of my head whenever I write, but it has been for years now. "I palmed the quarter, stuffed it into the pocket of the shorts I wore to bed, and moved the ashtray with my foot." Like why... why tf is that sentence stuck in my head???? I just really liked the way he wrote it. He kept it simple, I could picture it clearly, and I felt like I could see a bit of the character's personality in it. Just from how he mentioned he moved the ashtray on the floor with his foot, I felt like it told me a bit about him and how he moved through the world.

Keep dialogue short and sweet. Did it feel natural when I said it out loud?

I'm not one for huge monologues or super eloquent Pride and Prejudice love confessions. The less that's said, the sexier. Probably my all time favorite, most haunting dialogue line comes from Dragon Age: Origins, when our Warden is talking to Zevran before the final battle: "Whatever happens... I love you." "Cruel to the end." 😦 aight, DA writers. I see you, and I'll be seeing you in my dreams for the rest of my life gah dayum.

Give the reader more credit

If you don't know how to write something, don't worry! People can put things together on their own. Just from reading "they kissed", we can easily picture a bunch of different ways it's going down: what their hands are doing, how their mouths are moving, the sounds that they would be making... we're smart, imaginative cookies. Don't fret if we don't picture it exactly how you do 😉

K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple Stupid

The writing advice everyone has heard a million times. No need to find the prettiest words or metaphors. The basics can get the job done. (Especially with romance, in the end I just wanna read about people kissin' and touchin' and stuff.)

Don't be afraid to start over

Let's say you wrote the most beautiful sentence of your life, but it makes no sense with your story. Get rid of that shit. I know it's scary and you want to find a way to have it fit because you're super proud of it. Nope. Put it aside and save it for another story. Even if you've spent hours, days, months, years on something, you're allowed to get rid of it and start over like it never happened. It's all a part of the process.

Just write, pussy

I say this to myself all the time. Writing is one of those things that I can't get better at unless I do it. You don't have to post a thing. Just write. I cringe so hard looking back at my first fanfics from my Haikyu!! fandom days. But dammit! I had a blast writing those in high school lmfao. And that's really what matters, that you enjoy yourself.

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loganwritesprobably · 2 years ago

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Stiles/Scott/Malia

27. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard

Hello

Sorry this took a few days

I spent at least three days (maybe more, maybe less, idk time doesn't exist) just staring at this, hating it, but not knowing how to fix it.. so I didn't. Enjoy!

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Stiles said simply, staring at Malia with brows furrowed and mouth wide. He truly couldn't believe what she was saying.

"I've heard stupider things come out of your mouth so that's not true." Malia simply replied, arms folded over her chest.

Malia and Stiles hadn't spoken in a while after the way things had 'ended' between them, and now Malia was pursuing Scott. Stiles had no hard feelings about it, he was the one that had technically ended things so he had no place to be upset. Sure, maybe he was a little bit upset that she’d moved on so quickly, but Lydia had been quick to tell him that he had no right to be upset because of how he’d ended it between them. He barely had at all. For a while, Malia wasn’t even sure what had happened. So he totally wasn’t upset and definitely didn’t want her back and if he did - which he doesn’t - he’s totally awesome at not showing it. Awesome. But now, Malia had approached him with opinions Stiles just couldn't wrap his head around.

"No, I honestly don't think that's true."

"You don't have to agree but I'm right. There's so much sexual tension between you and Scott." Malia said again, sounding tired, as if already over Stiles' obliviousness. But he isn't oblivious, she just doesn't know what she's talking about.

"How do you even know what sexual tension is?" He could only hope that she could be distracted, as often it was pretty easy to distract her from what they were talking about if he found a topic good enough.

"Lydia makes me watch TV." No dice. Stiles nodded at that, it was a fairly good explanation actually. Dammit Lydia.

"Did you speak to her about this?" Stiles asked, figuring he'd find his saving grace once again in Lydia Martin.

"She was the one who told me to speak to you." Malia said, a smile tugging at her lips. She was laughing. Or trying not to anyway. She found this funny.

"You're laughing. This is a joke, a terrible joke." Stiles said, waving a dismissive hand and going to walk away, but was stopped by Malia's hand on his shoulder.

"Stiles. We dated. We had sex. I know what it looks like when you like someone. You look at Scott the way you look at me. I'm not stupid." She rolled her eyes and arched a brow that was so disgustingly 'Hale' that it made him want to scrunch his nose in distaste. Sometimes he forgot who she was, but the eyebrows never failed to remind him.

"Wait.. you said look at you. Like, present tense."

"I also said I'm not stupid. Stop treating me like I am."

Stiles took a long moment to think but finally caved and agreed to have a real conversation with Malia about what she'd said. He took her to his favourite diner that did the best curly fries Beacon Hills had to offer and they sat in his booth, the one he always sat in. They ordered their food and drinks first because while Malia is stubborn, she isn't evil.

"So you admit it?" She asked once their drinks were in front of them. She still couldn't quite stomach carbonated drinks but Stiles had thankfully convinced her that apple juice was the way to go.

"I admit nothing. Scott and I do not have sexual tension."

"Then you admit you still like me?" She asked immediately. She was like a dog with a bone. He wondered absently if she'd let this go if he actually gave her a bone. He hadn’t tried that one before (on Malia - Derek had not appreciated a bone).

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Cause I had an idea but I'm not going to tell you until you give up and admit I'm right. About both." They sat in a long few minutes of awful silence. Just staring at each other. She'd dangled a carrot in front of him - he wanted to know what her idea was. Very badly.

"So if I admit it, you'll tell me?" He asked finally, already wanting to regret it when she broke out into a grin.

"You have to mean it, I'll know." She said with a shrug, and he was cursing himself up and down for his inability to let things go. He didn't need to make this so hard for himself, and yet here he was.

"Fine. I admit it. I still like you and maybe.. there's a bit of tension between me and Scott." It pained him to admit because he'd been ignoring it for so long. He'd mostly been ignoring it because of how awfully one-sided it was. He'd offered to kiss Scott a few times ‘as a joke’, and Scott had always been quick to refuse. He was straight as a board and Stiles had to let go.

"Cool, so I kinda figured we could just.. all date." Malia replied immediately, with no real reaction to Stiles reluctant admittance. Stiles almost had coke coming out of his nose from the way he inhaled his drink in shock. Malia watched, slightly confused, as he retained his composure.

"Malia.. no there is.. so many reasons that wouldn't work." Stiles replied, coughing and hitting his chest. God that was uncomfortable. Stiles could think of so many reasons that just wouldn't work, why he should just tell her to focus on her relationship with Scott and not include him.. but now the thought was in his brain and.. he liked it.

"Name two." She said simply, and Stiles couldn't help but sigh.

"One, Scott doesn't like me like that, or men for that matter. Two, it isn't that easy to just date two people."

"Scott had sex with Isaac of course he likes men." Of course, this was the issue that Malia had chosen to focus on and Stiles had to set his drink aside so he wouldn't snort any more of it because it was very unpleasant and he wasn't eager to do it for a third time.

"Scott did what?" Malia didn't reply, thankfully realising that the question was rhetorical. Who taught her about rhetorical questions? When did she learn that? What else has she learned while Stiles wasn’t looking? Stiles took a minute to process it, and if he could accept that Scott wasn't quite as straight as he'd realised then yeah.. he could see it. They had been very close, and lived together for a while. Shit.

"Scott had sex with Isaac." Stiles said dumbly, and felt a strange sting of rejection anew when he thought back on all the times Scott had immediately turned Stiles away.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it, it's making you stink." Malia protested, kicking him gently beneath the table, which managed to distract Stiles just enough to clear his scent a little.

"I've tried doing stuff with Scott before. He always said no. Literally immediately." Stiles said, crossing his arms on the table and dropping his head there. So it wasn't that Scott didn't like men, he just didn't like Stiles. You don't even have to like a guy to make out with him, so it was less than that.

"Yeah, I think it's kinda obvious why," Malia replied, and when she realised Stiles was truly oblivious she sighed and poked him until he looked at her, "he totally likes you and didn't wanna make things weird. You've always called each other brothers. Do you see the problem?" When had Malia become the voice of reason? It was borderline out of character, and almost making Stiles uncomfortable.

“You need to stop spending time with Lydia.” Stiles grumbled, reluctantly sitting up again as the waitress brought food over for them, and he pushed a handful of fries into his mouth.

“So?” Malia prompted once Stiles’ mouth was empty again, just sitting and staring at him. She’d brought this up because she wanted it, so she still liked him too. Maybe she could date the two of them, and Scott and Stiles didn’t have to. People did that, right? Stiles didn’t need to ruin his friendship with Scott by asking.

“If you want this, you have to talk to Scott. It was your idea.” Stiles argued, chin in his hand. This was still the dumbest thing anyone had ever said to him, but maybe Malia could find a way to make it work.

#teen wolf #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #malia hale #malia tate #sciles #stalia #scalia

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deadpresidents · 1 year ago

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A writing question if you don't mind-when you write those longer articles or essays, do you write by hand or typing? How many drafts do you normally go through? I'm trying to find my own voice as a writer and any suggestions on process would be much appreciated!

My writing process is terrible and I am embarrassingly undisciplined when it comes to writing. I barely even write anymore! It used to be so much easier for me and my problem was that I was ridiculously long-winded, but now I have trouble just getting focused enough to knock out a few paragraphs. I'd kill to go back to the days where I just started writing and everything flowed, but it's almost as if someone flipped a switch and I just ran out of power. I have no idea when things changed, but they definitely did so over the past few years.

I have no formal training as a writer. (Obviously.) I've never taken a writing class or workshop, but I wish I had done so years ago. I feel like I've handicapped myself over the years because everything was self-taught and I really could have benefited from some sort of foundation. I never learned how to outline anything or even make some sort of rudimentary plan for the topic I plan to write about. I have a couple of notebooks with various ideas that I consider writing about, but the "ideas" are usually just two or three words I've quickly jotted down to remind myself of topics I might want to explore. And I imagine that 98% of those ideas are never revisited. Like I said, I'm awful at this stuff.

When I do finally zero in on something and start writing, I just start typing. In fact, I almost always just start directly writing whatever it is that I'm writing about as a Tumblr post. I don't write anything by hand and rarely even use something like Pages or Microsoft Word. I just start making a post. Here's the really dumb part: not only do I not write numerous drafts, but I usually just sit down and write stuff in one sitting, from beginning to end. If I get stuck or lost or don't feel like I can find the right ending for what I'm writing, I'll just delete the post. I have no idea how many words I've written on Tumblr over the past 15 years (!!!), but everything I've published is just a fraction of the stuff I discarded because I wasn't happy with it or wasn't feeling it. Even the things that I didn't complete give up on are frozen in time in the drafts of my Tumblr dashboard. They are currently 128 drafts saved to my Tumblr dashboard. I couldn't even guess when (or if) I've ever revisited those drafts; it's as if I kept them around just in case I completely and utterly change the manner in which I've created content over the years. Spoiler alert: I will not.

I'm an idiot, quite frankly, and should have taken some sort of writing classes years ago. I probably would have created a ton of content if I had some sort of a foundation that allowed me to craft better stories without feeling the need to start over at the first sign of trouble. If I'm writing something else that isn't intended to be published on Tumblr, I still have a similar "process" where I try to write my piece in one sitting and toss it all if it doesn't feel right.

I implore you not to try my idiotic writing "process" at home. It's undeniably counterproductive and I wish the Men In Black would have used their little memory erasing machine on me to erase those bad habits over the years. It's shocking that I was actually able to publish as much content as I have over the years despite not having the slightest idea of how to effectively and consistently write!

With all that said, I will add this about finding your voice or your own writing style: just keep doing what feels good to you. If you enjoy writing -- as I genuinely did at one point -- it doesn't matter what other people think about your work. It's yours and unless you're taking some sort of class or working some sort of job, nobody has any right to grade what you're doing. When you start worrying about how other people are going to judge your work it starts to actually feel like work, and if writing is an important outlet for you, it's important to not let strangers get in your way. That's when it stops being fun or fulfilling and if it's not one of those things or you're not getting paid money to make the changes to your work that people think you should make, then what's the use of writing in the first place?

#Writing #Writing Process #Writers #Tumblr Writers #Writing Style

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brick-a-doodle-do · 2 years ago

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For the ask game,

1-22 24-39

I am sorry

-Small brain anon

you're forgiven, it's in the past :)

okay before i get into these,,,, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 20, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 35, and 36, 38, have been answered!

that leaves....still quite a few. god damn.

2 : if you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? if you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

i would try, i probably could it just wouldn't be a very long time, even longer than usual. my hand cramps a LOT when i write (which is a new thing idk why) but my stories are still important :D

7 : what is your deepest joy about writing?

i have a few actually! honestly, starting with the most basic joy, it's really rewarding to remind myself that i have the ability to make a world. i can create cool versions of people i absolutely adore and make totally new people too! and i often forget that if i try hard enough i can make people cry with my writing or make one joke have people go feral,,,

another one is the reminder that god damn. almost eight billion people and i had this idea. i have complete freedom over this. i have claimed the coolest idea EVER out of almost eight billion people.

and i guess just the fact that i can write what people want me to write or what people enjoy. i love taking input from others because i know it'll make one person enjoy something! little details that i remember about someone? throw it into a fic and hope they see it and smile

8 : if you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

bye bye fucking dialogue. i would love to write something wordless and see how it works out, it just sounds awesome tbh, very moody. one of my non g/t wips is like that for a lot of it and it's just really calm to write! i don't have to worry about balancing things or making accurate dialogue, it's just one person in the universe and the vibe of that can easily get through to me. and in my experience, it'll go pretty good!

13 : what is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? what is easy?

ehhh i really hate writing combat or anything fast paced. moving scenes along and changing settings has never been a strong suit of mine imo,,,, like it always feels either really rushed or really choppy imo

and i think mental health is pretty easy for me to write. like that hazy, unhappy mind. it's extremely slow and easy to make long and extravagant descriptions with,,,,

14 : do you lend your books to people? are people scared to borrow books from you? do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? will you ever get them back?

i don't have a large collection of books. i'm never really immersed into actually reading a book which i know is awful as a writer and honestly just a terrible attribute of mine but i'm not a big reader. fanfic tho is my bitch, and in which case i have no experience with any of this :'D

16 : what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

a piece of lined paper i found in the book, so essentially someone else's makeshift bookmark

i am respectfully gonna skip 17 & 18 because i don't have the energy to really explain any of that and all of my wips are so like not worthy of those questions. the best ur gonna get is the minutiae of tiny workers i'll post tomorrow lmao

19 : tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

it's nothing too dramatic, i started when i was in third grade and wrote a nine page story by hand and my teacher mentioned i was a strong writer for my age. i wrote all the time in school, picked up fanfic in like early 2019 (which also conveniently was my first g/t writing)

and uhh i started just because the feeling of writing was really rewarding and freeing. i loved roleplaying on roblox all the time too i would love making long descriptions of things n such :DD

i think i'm on a good track, i have 42 full-fledged wips that i have some ideas for, 3 book ideas and a cool and supportive community to share my growth with :]

21 : could you ever quit writing? do you ever wish you could? why or why not?

honestly, no, i don't think i ever could. even if i change my mind about pursuing it as a career i could never stop it being my hobby. it's so freeing and a great way to unwind, i love the thought of writing all of my life and the thought of what my writing will be like in a few years if i'm writing like this now (which is such an improvement from 6 months ago, let me say. and yeah i'm complimenting my work for once)

i never do wish i could, because i know that regardless of if i take a break or not i'm never going to completely abandon it. i have ideas that i'm too in to be out of,,,

22 : how organized are you with your writing? describe to me your organization method, if it exists. what tools do you use? notebooks? binders? apps? the cloud?

it depends on my wips, but for the sake of convenience i'll just go off of my aus on here: it is so messy. there is no organization, and if it is there are so many wips of my organization ideas, it's so sad. i have tried so many different ways to organize my thoughts because doing lists and making things look neat and tidy is my favorite, but on the opposite end i get bored countlessly listing out information i already know, so uhh yeah no organization. occasionally i'll jot down like "make sure to add this!" in my notes app or at the end of wtv im working on

24 : how much prep work do you put into your stories? what does that look like for you? do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

i love the thought of prep work, hate actually doing it. i go in head first, usually with a mental map of whatever i want to happen. a lot of the time though i let the story write itself cuz i'm lazy like that :'D

i dislike trying to actually sit myself down to make things all laid out and ready to be written cause..........gagghghhsadskdj

29 : where do you draw your inspiration? dhat do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

it depends! some of my ideas are directly from a movie or show i watch, usually taking the idea of an "au" not from the fandom but from that show specifically if that makes sense,, other times my head'll give me some three am ideas or random ideas.

i also really like picking a color and making an inspiration board off of it! it gives me some cool ideas cause imagery can tell a big story sometimes imo

when the well is try i usually either work on other stuff or just wait for it to rain again so there's water to run off of.

31 : write a short love letter to your readers.

idk about a love letter but honestly y'all are literally so cool. i know my community isn't remotely close to any big publishers' fanbases but damn it feels so overwhelming in the best way possible to get showered with love by the people i can easily recognize whenever i post something! to have over 100 notes on some of my fics and know that every like on my work is an individual person is just baffling. to know i have almost 200 followers in my corner, even if some of them are bots or following me for other content, it's fucking amazing. sweet comments and questions about my work is just fucking exhilarating!! it's so motivating to hear "write more of this" because damn. demanding. people demand i write more. it's SO COOL. joining social media was probably the worst decision i've ever made but tumblr has singlehandedly fixed every doubt i've had about being on the internet :) <3

32 : what is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? how did you find it? what does it mean to you?

ee passerine & rooftops spoilersss down below :]

i will do fanfic bc. yeah wtv. anyway there are a few, i think that if i'm being actually serious and not doing joke ones, i absolutely love the ending off passerine, it's so perfect. i am tearing up thinking abt it ngl which sounds dumb but damn. "he had a life before this, a mother, a father, a home, sisters and brothers, but what he had now was alright too. he stood alone in his bedroom mirror, combing his hair back from his face to braid it for the day, tucking it behind an ear where a sapphire earing hung, catching sunlight. he paused when he saw it, leaning in close to make sure it wasn't a trick of the light, or the lingering traces of a dream. he blinked once, twice, his mortal heart caught in his throat. there, nestled amongst the pink strands, delicate as a bird's wing, was a single, grey hair. if he listened closely, he could hear his brother coming down the hallway, looking for him. but this moment was his alone, half-sobbing, half-laughing, he fell against his chair and closed his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. he could see in his mind, a field of flowers under an open sky, a place for waiting, where all the finished stories went. where he too would go someday. a knock came at his door, and technoblade began to smile." LIKE DUDE. I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR ENDINGS TO STORIES. it's so dramatic and so domesicated and passerine is such a short story all in all but it's so perfectly written and captures relationships so well. it shows technoblade's acceptance of death so well, and although he'd been wanting of death for a while it still kind of shows how he is eager to pursue the rest of a mortal life.

also from passerine i like "this is what it feels," someone gasped, "to lose everything" I LOVE IT. tommy is their everything and losing him made the story turn so dull,, it went from silver to grey easily. love it.

ALSO. FUCKING ROOFTOPS. it is such an old fic, but it's the second fic i've ever read in the fandom. “youuu aren’t real. nope! noo, no you aren’t. youu’re not reeaal, you'ree inn my head. my head! geoorge is in my head again!” it's just so sad. i love it. the atmosphere of this scene despite it being out of context here is still just so perfect. the vibes of rooftops have never left my head.

and also this absolutely doesn't count but there's a comment on rooftops that said "this is the same story where they went camping" and i have never gone a day without thinking about that LMAO

33 : do you practice any other art besides writing? does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

hghghhhhh not really, no other art. cooking and baking sometimes but i wouldn't call my skill level art LMAO

but it did start a gbbo au and has helped a lot with terminology and stuff!!

34 : thoughts on the oxford comma, go:

i love it in practice but the second i get reminded to use it i go bonkers and start hitting things

37 : if you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

they would think i am weird as hell bro i keep writing about these people SWALLOWING EACH OTHER ALIVE 😭😭😭

i wanted to do a real response to that but a. its 3 am and b. this was funnier <3

39 : what keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

the atmosphere of the thing i am writing. i can be in the most unmotivated mood but the second i start thinking about how a scene or an au feels i am immediately lightened up and want to write it!

god damn it only took about half an hour but i did it!! thanks for these questions, even if they took like 2 weeks to finish and cut me short of what i wanted to do tonight /lh/nmay

#brickquiries #brickquiries games #small brain brickling #sb my beloved :]#cw vore implication/mention #breif but still

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la-principessa-nuova · 2 months ago

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It truly is insane how much of life is luck.

I feel like I always bring the negative stuff here, so here’s a long info dump about how I’ve been incredibly lucky in other ways.

Keep in mind I tend to dive into details too much at random points and I don’t feel like editing this, so be prepared for a long and winding road that may or may not get to a point.

Because of my particular combination of disabilities and trauma and circumstances and all that, I would do awful in a service job.

Like, within a week, I would be fired. I am terrible at being on time consistently long term, especially in the morning.

My social anxiety is especially bad during the kind of interactions I would have to do every day in that kind of job, and so I expect within the first week it would get bad enough that I would completely fail to help someone and then go in the back and cry.

My manager would almost certainly find me pacing around and staring off into space instead of doing the task I’d been told to do.

It would be straight up awful.

Sure, I’d eventually acclimate a little and start to develop coping mechanisms to get by, but I still think I’d eventually be fired from every job and therefore have trouble finding a new one.

But I just kind of stumbled into a career that is fully compatible with my brain and I happen to be very good at.

Yes, my last job was awful, but now that I’m back at the good one, I’m reminded of how lucky it made me feel.

Most days being a few minutes late or sometimes even like an hour late is not only forgiven, but often not even noticed, and if they did notice, they wouldn’t care unless it’s consistently really late. The only days being on time matters is if there happens to be a meeting scheduled early in the morning.

Because the important thing is getting the work done long term. I can even have days where my brain just isn’t cooperating and nothing happens, and it blows over and then I do more when I can.

So how did I get here? Surely it took a lot of hard work, right?

Well, yeah, but also a ton of luck.

Here’s some of the things that just so happened to lead to this point.

Like most kids with an older sibling, I copied many of her interests. And my older sister was into video games and computers. So I was.

And then in 2009 she started playing this new early access indie game that i had never heard of called Minecraft. So I started playing it.

At the time there was a free version you could play on the website, which at the time was called creative mode (I think later referred to or maybe officially referred to as minecraft classic to distinguish from the creative mode in the current game).

So I showed all my friends who would hang out at the library after school on the library computer. And eventually, I think in February 2010, I finally convinced my mom to buy me a copy of the game for €15, which converted to about $20 at the time.

Over the next couple years I got really into the game, and eventually my sister got into watching let’s plays, and she introduced me to them by setting up her laptop and some chairs in my room so we could watch Shadow of Israphel together.

From that, I started watching (and occasionally trying my hand at making) Minecraft videos, and eventually I started to get interested in mods.

The idea that I could change the game just seemed so exciting, and so I decided to make one.

I eventually followed the steps to decompile and deobfuscate the code, but I didn’t know anything about programming. I did some basic script kiddie stuff, copying and pasting files and changing values to add twinkies to the game, make pigs drop leather, add crafting recipes, and other minor things.

But I wanted to do more. I posted a video about how I was going to make this cool mod adding magic to the game and it was going to all be based around lapis lazuli (which at the time did nothing but dye wool), and it was gonna be so cool…

But I knew I needed to actually know how to code to pull that off. So I decided to put a pause on trying to make changes so I could “learn programming” first.

I knew Java was what I should learn since it was what Minecraft was written in, but it seemed hard, and I wondered if I should start with something easier. So I looked up what is the best language to start with, and the site I clicked on first said JavaScript.

So I started learning JavaScript on Codecademy. And then I had this skill that I couldn’t really do anything with, so I learned HTML and CSS so I could make websites using JavaScript.

Then I started making a lot of websites and I got pretty good at JavaScript and web development for a high schooler. I learned some other languages, but didn’t use them past the free online courses I followed.

Oh, except for TI-BASIC, which I used a ton to write programs to do my math and physics homework.

I wasn’t doing great in school (I failed a couple classes and had to retake them) but at home I was teaching myself to code.

I failed Algebra II but then the summer before retaking it, I taught myself the rest of the school’s algebra curriculum and calculus, and I don’t know what’s more twice-exceptional than that.

When it came time to go to college, I was originally going for music education and I was sure that I was going to end up as a music teacher, but I was worried about my ability to keep up with the demands of that job.

When I couldn’t keep up with the extremely demanding program, I was left in the worst mental health state I had ever been in. I was only sleeping a few hours a night. By the time I got back to my dorm from the practice room, I would need to skip my first class to be able to take a nap before the second one.

But meanwhile I was taking a computer science elective where I was learning about the Unix command line and writing scripts, and it just came so much more naturally to me.

As I looked at the painful path to bringing up my GPA enough to remain in the professional program, all so I could spend my entire life fighting for my underpaid and overworked job not to be cut while using what little money I got to fund the music program myself while all the money went to sports, I looked at that class.

So much easier, and such better job prospects. And if I switched, it made sense to switch schools and get away from the place where my mind had slowly been slipping into truly scary places.

And so I switched, and instantly things improved. I now had a normal college schedule instead of 8 AM to 10:30 PM followed by homework and practice 5 days per week, and the classes came so much easier to me.

Because I already knew the basics of coding, I did all the homework while the professor lectured and messed around with things to learn how the language worked.

Since I wasn’t interested in drinking or smoking or partying with the other students, I did all of my homework and had time for other projects. This coincided with not having any interest in TV shows that we’re currently airing or YouTube channels, so I got all my entertainment from podcasts while walking between classes and working out.

My health improved drastically and I felt great after I finished reeling from realizing I was trans (honestly I probably got so overly focused on health and schoolwork because I was avoiding thinking about what that meant).

So I worked hard and got good grades, mostly because I happened to be in a situation where I ended up throwing myself fully into my work, and my interests aligned with that work.

Then I was known as one of the stronger students and happened to accidentally end up on one of the stronger teams for a group project where we did work for real companies (I was being too socially awkward to pick a team and then somebody left one team to join another and so they asked me to join), and I got assigned to one of the two teams doing work for a major employer in the biggest industry in my state.

They were really impressed with my work in particular (I had to refactor the whole project and rewrite a large portion the night before it was due because we discovered a memory leak and that lead me to look into the spaghetti code written by this one tech bro on the team who acted like he knew everything but was actually terrible at coding), and the guy in charge of overseeing our project actually reached out to me directly that summer asking me to come work on his team specifically (where as the other team members other than that one guy had been asked to apply to their new graduate program).

Unfortunately, I still had one semester left, so I couldn’t take that full time job (he had assumed it was my final year because that course normally was during the final year but I had a scheduling conflict between two required classes I had put off until the end that made me take one more semester to fit in my last 2 classes).

But having that project on my resume got one of their competitors (who happens to be a lot less evil and a much healthier work environment) really interested in me, so I got an interview for an internship.

Luckily for me, when I showed up late for my on campus interview, my interviewer also had ADHD and showed up even later.

So I had no problem there and got the internship. Then I lucked out in getting placed on a team of entirely data scientists who barely knew how to code, so I really impressed them with my basic programming skills and spent the internship teaching them how to code and being the saving grace to get a bunch of their broken projects working.

Most of the team was surprised when I left because they didn’t know I was just an intern.

I also had a ton of networking opportunities and built up a reputation across the company as being a really strong developer.

I lucked out with an awesome mentor who was able to get me into some private lessons on machine learning, which I haven’t really used since but was really interesting and got me in the room with the R&D folks and got people seeing me as someone who would be in those circles.

Then a friend of my manager in a different department was hiring full time the next year, and so when I applied full time he had heard of me and sought me out specifically (there were some other teams I’d met who sought me out, but this was the best one).

That team ended up being great and had some of the most emotionally intelligent people I’ve ever met, and the way they worked was a little different from the other teams in a way that was much more compatible with my PDA autism that I didn’t know about yet.

On that team, I quickly built up a reputation for knowing everything about TypeScript (it was very much a special interest at the time at least) and just generally being really good at solving problems within a complex domain.

I had some issues during particularly bad mental health periods, but the worst I got was a “Hey, are you alright? I noticed you haven’t been doing X as well as normal.” or rarely “Can you try to be better about Y?”

When I left there for more money, they were clear that they’d take me back if I changed my mind (they even offered me almost as much to stay).

Then that job was awful, and I came back, and things are pretty good again.

I kind of got into the story a bit, but my point is that in so many ways, in this one regard, I have been incredibly lucky.

So many little things happened to align to get me here.

My sister liking Minecraft, seeing videos about mods, happening to click on the answer that said JavaScript, having a good professor for the CS Elective, not wanting to do anything other than study for a while in college, ending up in a group project doing work for a major employer, having an interviewer who didn’t care I was late, getting assigned to a team that had me do real work and recognized me for it, my manager knowing someone who ran such a good fit of a team.

Even things more fundamental, like happening to like a thing that pays well and be good at it.

Yes there was a lot of work to get here, but also so much luck. I could have put in the same or much more work without these opportunities and been in a much worse place.

Also side note maybe give programming a shot? I hear a lot of people immediately shut it down that it’s not an option for them because they don’t know how to do it, but like, it’s worth a shot. If you’re good at it, it’s one of the few ways to rise out of poverty, and there are companies hiring for it without requiring a degree, plus opportunities to do freelance work if that’s your sort of thing. If not, no harm done.

I was very lucky to stumble into it the way I did because there’s no way I would be willing to try learning it now. But it is absolutely worth it if you can.

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causenessus · 4 months ago

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hi loveliness! (i’m calling you that now because it suits you) HOW ARE U?? good evening afternoon or morning! i hope you’ve been well and i hope you’ve eaten! tomorrow i’m driving back home and it’ll take like two days so my next checkup might be really early or really late (SORRY IN ADVANCE !!) but today i’m going to a concert so ill probably be back home really late and be tired asf LOL but im so excited for it !! i can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow

IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EATING !! it makes me feel happy that i actually have an impact on your life ! ik some days get busy and long but it’s always good to eat and take care of yourself, heal the body and mind!! BAGELS ARE GOOD BUT MAKE SURE YOURE EATING ACTUAL MEALS! which i’m kind of a hypocrite because last night i had instant noodles for “dinner” kind of BUT BUT I HAD LIKE A BIG LATE LUNCH WITH MY FAMILY SO IT DOESNT COUNT !! i would consider that a snack even LOL but youuu! you! (points) make sure you eat actual meals love !! sorry this just reminds me of a story but i remember like one time i was late for school so i skipped breakfast but during class my stomach was like RUMBLING AND I WAS SO EMBARRASSED BECAUSE LIKE the teacher would be yap yap yapping and then suddenly you hear the most preposterous god awful sound (my stomach) and i had to pretend i didn’t wanna die right then and there LOL so definitely definitely eat or you’ll suffer the same fate as me </3(threateningly)(with love)(always with love)

PLS MY EARLY SHIFTS AND WEIRD DOUBLE SHIFTS ARE SO TERRIBLY FUNNY LOL but omg what do you do for work if you don’t mind me asking like do you build frames because THATS SO COOL women in stem moment LOL but omg i hope your finger is okay?? WHY IS SOMETHING HECTIC ALWAYS HAPPENING AT YOUR JOB this is like a total sitcom office type job scenarios right here but but omg omg mango anon on a plane?? flying over to ness?? mango anon and ness meetup?? (I WISH I COULD INSERT PHOTOS BUT WE WOULD BE LIKE THAT ONE MEME THATS LIKE the vibes me and gang bring to the function) no but literally i would definitely just trail around you at work like a dog like i would 100% have no idea what’s going on but i would just smile and nod and be happy just to be there LOL

YOU KNOW WHAT TECH DAYS IS REAL LIKE I WAS ALSO PART OF TECH LOL but i wasn’t like THAT type of tech in the crew i was the sounds person so id be more more background but omg soulmates? twin flames? tech crew gang??? i kinda miss tech days even though it was kind of toxic LOL like i remember my teacher was like ok practice with the cast goes until 6:30 but she kept us until like 8 like IS THAG EVEN LEGAL?? who knows though my high school was definitely not… not it (if you know what i mean)

THE LORE DROP IS CRAZY?? i get what you mean by the attachment issue thing because I GET IT I GET IT but like you’re such a likeable person like IDK YOURE JUST SO SWEET AND GENUINE ITS HARD NOT TO LIKE YOU(sorry if that sounds weird but to me it’s like)(i expect a LOT of people to like you because you radiate good energy and you’re always so sweet) BUT I GET IT AND PLS THE ICK FROM THE ATTACHMENT ISSUES?? i 100% get it because when i notice myself being too attached to someone im like okayyyyy okay mango anon back it up here back it uppp LOL because like i don’t wanna be so reliant on someone else so i always have to remind myself to chill a bit, BUT ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR WORK AND DRAMATIC LOVE LIFE LIKE I LIVE FOR THE ROMCOMS!!

i hope tonight is a better night for you !! i hope it isn’t sucky again because you deserve the best :( I LOVE YOU TOO NESS SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS PART BUT I <3 NESS thank u for always taking the time to answer these long long asks LOL but i really enjoy talking to you !! make sure you eat and take care of yourself and have a good day!! xoxoxo

AAAAAA PLEASE I AM CRYING OVER THE NAME /POS THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 i am okay!!! very brain dead and just peroifbbjk but it's okay!! and aa definitely do not worry about missing a few check ins but thank you for telling me so i don't get too sad and miss u without knowing what's going on </33 be safe driving back AND I HOPE YOUR CONCERT GOES WELL AND YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN!!

BUT AAA thank you thank you </3 unfortunately i literally survived on almond butter bagels today but it was NOT my fault. like today was just not good lmaoaoao i ate breakfast and then drove home to eat lunch (first almond butter bagel) between classes and then had to go to work (i bought a random california roll or something on the way there that ig counts as well!!) but i literally got home at 10 pm and just could not be bothered to cook 😭😭😭 i've just been working this entire week and i work this weekend too so i'm just trying to get by!!!! i will take care of myself though BUT PLEASE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED YOUR TEACHER YAPPING AND THEN THE PREPOSTEROUS SOUND 😭😭😭 I LAUGHED SO HARD it reminds me of this one time i was forced (idk how else to explain this but just trust me i had to??? LMAO) to eat carrots in my french class....BUT CARROTS ARE SO LOUD BRO I LITERALLY WANTED TO KMS EVERYTIME I BIT INTO THE CARROT LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT OMG BRO IT WAS A SILENT CLASSROOM AND THEN THERE'S ME CRYING EATING CARROTS LIKE A LITERAL RABBIT

but anway. AAA YES!! WOMEN IN STEM!! yes i build frames sometimes or we get them sent to my work and then i will actually frame things and cut glass and just put that all together it's very fun!! i've framed things like a real cool pixies poster, cool art, confiscated prison shanks, someone tried to get us to frame black coral (which it is highly illegal to be in possession of) so yk!!! maybe it's just a curse at my workplace!! i have NO idea wtf is wrong with my workplace but we could DEFINITELY BE A SITCOM SHOW LMAOO AND AAA OMG YES NESS AND MANGO ANON MEETUP!!! I WOULD LITERALLY CRY /POS AND JUMP WITH JOY PLEASE AND LITERALLY OMG YOU DID TECH TOO??????? AND YOU WERE SODIFIUHWLJBEKJRFLEPRIO;GWENK (you were sound except i keyboard smashed halfway through)

MANGO ANON. WE WERE MEANT TO BE. LITERAL SOULMATES I TELL YOU!!!! BC I MEAN IG IDK HOW OTHER DEPARTMENTS ARE BUT LIKE I FEEL LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE A LIGHT KID - SOUND KID DUO YK?????? AND THAT'S YOU AND ME AAAA THAT'S LITERALLY SO COOL THOUGH I ADMIRE SOUND PEOPLE SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO MANY CABLES AND THINGS FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF I NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT 😭😭 but yes it is also such a toxic and dramatic environment like ALL the time okay another lore drop my junior year i was literally fighting for my life because basically i had just been passed the torch down from our goddess light board op senior (so i was now in charge of everything regarding lights and basically the light board op) BUT this sophomore with a superiority complex also wanted the job and would literally fight me for it like he DEMANDED to be head of lights once for this student directed play and he had been asked to do the show before me so he got first pick and i was like "i mean okay chill idrc" but the bad thing is he just did not know what he was doing 😭 and i tried to be nice and be like "hey. we can split the job. if you want to be board op for the play and musical that's chill. i'll do it for the other play." AND IDK WHY I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT HATED HIM AND LIKE I TOLD MY TECH DIRECTOR THE PLAN AND HE WAS LIKE "HELL NO I AM NOT LETTING THAT KID OPERATE THE BOARD YOU'RE DOING THAT" so i ended up being board op...the entire year which i don't feel bad about!! but that was like the biggest drama moment of my life and i'm still not over it i am typing in passionate rage rn can u tell /hj

BUT AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT YOU'RE SO SWEET!! i always attract weird men unfortunately...i will spill this all to u mango anon do not worry your pretty head <3 maybe we'll start with skater boy tm (imagine i subscripted that i'm too lazy rn) or the boy who thought i liked him and asked me to homecoming....BUT YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEET AND CARING TOO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY AS WELL!!! and honestly lots of people suck </3 so if they DON'T love you?? well that's an easy fix i'll just beat the life out of them <3 (said with love. for u. not those people. i promise i'm nice!!!)

AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SENDING THESE LONG ASKS!! AND READING MY EVEN LONGER ANSWERS <3 tonight was okay!!! i hope you had a good day <3 and talking to you has DEFINITELY made it better so thank you and i love you so much as always mango anon <3 PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! AND EAT AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND I HOPE YOU DON'T FEEL TOO SICK AS YOU DRIVE BACK HOME!!

#answers <3 #mango anon <3 #AAA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON!! MY LITERAL SOULMATE #CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID SOUND HOW DID YOU NEVER TELL ME THIS BEFORE WE ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO BE !!!

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