#which truly killed 90% of my ability to care

[cowsaresushi-coral]

how many times can i talk about gabe before people think i’m thirsty.

EDIT: rate my vibes, how do you think i feel about gabe. do you think i’m thirsty/horny, or what have you, or do you think I care deeply about his character or something.

[blueberry-patches]

The Cursed Immortal

“You cannot kill me in a way that matters. … Or maybe you can! You should submit a murder proposal to my assistant, in that case. Could make you very, very rich.”

Here I Am by The Crane Wives - current character song

“From this day forth, your body will be eternally unaging. You shall have no need to fear anything which can strip life from mortal kind. No illness nor injury, no poison nor weapon, no magic nor curse - whatever may try to strike you down, you will always rise again at the coming of the dawn.”

A knight/warrior/hero born in the mid Bronze Age who had the favor and ire of many gods and sorcerers. A powerful demigod "blessed" them with an ability that brings them back to life no matter how they die. Old age, illness, poison, injury, hostile magic - nothing can kill this individual and keep them down. At first, this blessing was seen as a boon to them. But as more time passed and they realized this meant they would inevitably watch every mortal they would ever meet die, they came to resent it.

To say these deadly things have no effect would be wrong, as well. If you cut off their head, then their head will still be very much cut off. If you poison them they will go through the course of it until they die. If they contracted rabies they would die from that as well. They’d just get up again at the next dawn, in the same physical state they had been when the blessing was first placed. They remember the pain and sensations of whatever killed them, but they do not suffer cognitive or physical decline from these deaths. Their body has stopped aging simply due to the fact that cellular death and regrowth has reached an equilibrium to prevent true death. However, they do not have an accelerated healing factor - just immunity from death. They can and do scar, although scars acquired after the blessing will disappear if they die and resurrect. Sometimes, they will choose to kill themselves rather than wait for a serious injury to heal naturally.

Due to being functionally immortal, they have acquired a massive fortune from thousands of years of mercenary work. They have been at the right hand of kings and emperors, and they have lived for decades in the wilderness. As more and more time passes, they go through longer periods of being connected and disconnected from humanity. They have spent the past 90 years searching for a way to die permanently, but they’re beginning to get bored of it. In modern times, they’re an absolute legend. They’re the best mercenary and bounty hunter in the world, both mundane and magical.

Anyone who’s anyone in magical, mercenary, or black market circles knows about the bounty they placed on themselves. If you can kill them in a way that they can’t come back from, and they manage to stay dead for a week, then their entire fortune will be yours. However, you have to present your murder plan to them Shark Tank style. If it’s all things that have been tried before, they’ll maim you for wasting their time. They’ve recently hired an Executive Assistant to manage murder applications, so they don’t have to waste all their time in murder meetings. They and their EA have been working together for 7 years now. When the EA was first hired, it was because the Cursed Immortal had put out a Billy Mays-style infomercial ad for the bounty on their own head. EA responded and told them they would need someone to manage all the applications and, in the event that someone managed to truly kill them, the estate transfers. EA will get 10% of the fortune upon their death.

Morally, they’re rather gray, but they’ve never slipped into true evil. Somewhere between Chaotic Neutral and Neutral Good in modern day, although many think they’re True Neutral and care only for themselves and those they’ve claimed as their own. When they initially received their blessing they oscillated between Lawful Good and Neutral Good, depending on whether the laws agreed with their own personal code. In modern day, they can count the number of living people they actually give a shit about on one hand, with fingers to spare. They respect quite a few people, but that doesn’t mean they care about them. Anyone who crosses them is killed without mercy. They believe that sometimes the most good you can do for someone is putting them out of their misery. And sometimes, the most good you can do for the world is killing a bastard who deserves it.

Very much the type of person who, if someone said to them “If you kill a murderer then the number of murderers in the world remains the same,” they would just respond “Then don’t stop at one, obviously. Kill several murderers, get some serial killers or mass shooters. Way less murder victims with vengeful ghosts will be around if you keep that up for a while.” “But then you just have vengeful ghosts that were violent killers before dying!” “Yeah, so then you kill the ghosts, I dunno why you aren’t getting this still.” “You can’t just kill ghosts!” “Maybe you can’t. Sounds like a skill issue to me.”

They do, in fact, know how hard it is to kill ghosts. But they also like pissing off people that annoy them so the banter works great for that. Personality like a blend between Slade Wilson, Gregory House, and Odysseus.

[elyelsonfree]

A letter to the political parties of Canada concerning the genocide in Gaza

I'm pasting it here just so I can link it on twitter for people who need alt text, because it's too many characters to post. I used this site to send it, and you can do the same with a pre-written email. https://www.itsagenocide.ca/ It also has a tool to find your MP's number if you'd like to call.

Social Media is something that has been vital to our society since it's inception. Many people my age will use it to unwind, to communicate with friends, to share funny memes and to organize against injustice. I use it frequently, and like many people, the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night is glance over at twitter while I counter-intuitively wait for sleep to come.

Ever since October 7th, my social media has been flooded with the death and destruction of Gaza and the West Bank.

Today I woke up to the news that it has been confirmed that when Israeli soldiers evacuated an intensive care unit, the babies the doctors were tending to, who they had been promised would be cared for, were left to die. They were found during the ceasefire decomposing in their hospital beds. This was one of the few censored videos I've seen. I have a six week old nephew, and when I saw a picture of a 17 day old baby who had been killed in an explosion today due to the end of the temporary cease fire, I decided it was time to contact you all about how disappointed I am in my government, a country that prides itself on its reputation for peace, to be one of the few who voted AGAINST a call for a cease fire weeks ago now. I wanted to send an email at the time, but to be honest, I was so angry and disgusted with everyone who represents me that I couldn't write anything that wasn't just pure vitriol.

Part of what stopped me was the absolute disillusion in the entire government. Canadians are not generally idiots, which may come as a shock to some of you. We know 90% of politician speech is just lip service to keep the status quo. I wasn't kidding myself thinking the liberal party actually cares about marginalized communities, or that they, or any other political party in this country, care about untold deaths over-seas. You must be very big-picture to continue to refuse to stand up for a community being paved over before the world's very eyes. But I'm not sure how any of you can sleep at night knowing that innocent people-- real men, women, and children-- are being slaughtered en-mass, and you have in some way enabled it by not speaking out. I'm honestly not sure, if you're either on Israel's government's side on this one, or indifferent to it, what you're doing in politics. Because it's certainly not to better anyone's lives. I assume it's money that stays any politician from speaking out against the horrors we are seeing come out of Gaza every day, with help from our weapons and our government's support, but I hope you know it isn't worth it. I cannot describe how low my opinion of every government party has sunk through this crisis. Normally I would say the NPD are exempt from my disappointment, but you called for one of your own to step down when they spoke out early against the genocide, so unfortunately it's you I'm most disappointed in of all.

I'm sorry to anyone who actually feels very strongly about what is happening in Gaza and is reading this letter, because I'm sure you're the only one who will actually take that disappointment to heart. And on top of that, you have the worst coworkers in the world. But know that if you're speaking out against this, if you are truly fighting and doing all you can to stop our government from helping to exterminate an entire people, I am not upset at you. I marvel at your ability to continue in the face of so much opposition. Truly I feel as though I'm losing my mind watching our prime minister stumble and refuse to say 'cease fire'. You were elected as a lesser evil, Justin, and you managed to flub even that. I can't imagine what our next election will look like, but for failing your promise of restructuring how our votes work, and as a party for your failure to look at the most black-and-white situation and refuse to call a genocide a genocide, know that whatever havoc is wrought if the cons win is on you as well. Canadians overwhelmingly want positive change, and instead we have a bunch of adults acting like children and hemming and hawing over whether killing and driving out an entire population from their own land is a genocide. Is bombing hospitals a war crime? Apparently none of you know. Maybe you should leave politics and go back to school.

All this is to say: call for a ceasefire. It's the RIGHT THING to do. I know politicians aren't (generally speaking) renowned for their ability to empathize, but give it a shot in this case, while there are still Palestinians left to save.

I have very little faith in all of you after this, truthfully, and I don't say that in anger or in hate. I am truly just indescribably disappointed in you, and the choices you've made as parties. Imagine all of you standing up and applauding a nazi, your country giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're all just sort've idiots, and then not speaking out to stop a genocide. Wow. I suppose we're the fools for electing you all, but when your options are clown1, clown2, clown3, and clown4, you can't really avoid getting a pie in the face.

From the river to the sea,

Elson

[land-of-brains-and-chocolate]

Rec list for Eddie and Symby being vaguely to very gay?

I'm sorry for coming to you with my monsterfucker agenda 😔👊 (no I'm not)

i mean, i probably could’ve seen this coming.

venom is dominated by two opposing narratives. let’s call this the “relationship narrative” and the “control narrative”. they’re not perfectly separated, like, you’ll definitely get elements of one in the other, but generally one of them describes what the story, at its core, is using the symbiote for.

now comics are an endless tug-of-war at the best of times, much less the gayest and slimiest of times. there’s a neverending backlash and backbacklash going on between these two takes. what you want is the relationship narrative.

everything very much started out with that take. eddie and the symbiote are two characters who forge an evil alliance because it lets them do what they wanna do (kill spider-man, more or less) and they have the same kinds of neuroses and complexes and syndromes. lots of early comics are also very fun about the merged consciousness, merged identity deal. that’s kind of the textbook relationship stuff.

personally i absolutely think the original stories (venom was created by david michelinie) have romantic undertones, even starting in the villainy days. eddie describes their first meeting as “a shadow moved, caressed me.” he takes the rejection of the symbiote still being “in love with” spider-man really hard. he sobs his eyes out when he thinks it’s dead and promises to avenge it bare-handed. they totally expect to live happily ever after on a deserted island together.

then there’s venom: lethal protector, which is cute on its own, but if you’re reading for slime romance, i very specifically recommend the novelisation. i won’t even spoil it. and then, planet of the symbiotes is the first comic that i would say has outright queer themes, intentional or not.

so all those recs until now are collected in this post.

we're trucking along through the 90s, we explore elements of one take and then the other and sometimes we ignore the symbiote completely, but not too much changes, overall. the next BIG stop in Gay Venom is, of course, the hunger.

miniseries by len kaminski, just venom: the hunger. plenty of people have written their essays on it, but what’s always important to me is that it DID NOT come out of nowhere. as said above, it expanded on themes that were there, it references michelinie venom very explicitly, like you get your SECOND “tenderly touching the green glass tube” scene.

but yes this one is specifically about, like, stigmatisation, otherness, mental illness, meeting all those things with care and empathy and optimism, tentacle sex. again, many essays. a venom comic that can go “look at the twisted deviance of this relationship” and then turn it around into “but how are you looking at it” is good. god how good would it be if they also did that to eddie more. anyway.

a few years later you get the first MAJOR fucking backlash, culminating in the SECOND story titled the hunger. spectacular spider-man: the hunger, from 2003. completely reboots venom and retcons their motivations and backstories, makes very spiteful references to planet of the symbiotes and the hunger, like it is not also called that by sheer coincidence. literally starts out, in a comic that wants to tackle and redefine venom, with the line “the PROBLEM is that you guys are like an old married couple”. so the new status quo is that the symbiote only ever used eddie to be with spider-man, and eddie only ever used the symbiote to not die of cancer.

the “control narrative” that really kicks in here uses the symbiote as, you know, a thing to control, eddie’s demons personified or even a completely foreign force to torment him. if eddie is evil, it’s not because of what he thinks and believes and wants, it’s because he couldn’t control the symbiote and gave in to its inexplicable bloodlust.

this is an unambiguous downgrade in terms of complexity, in my humble opinion, completely fucks up eddie’s responsibility themes, and is also a pretty clearly petty reaction to venom’s absolute oversaturation in the nineties. the bitch was everywhere and most of it wasn’t good. so there was LOTS of “look at this creepy loser” content by writers cringing themselves into self-awareness at the time. the 00s were going to be GRITTY and MATURE.

this of course means that we get to see eddie slit his wrists and bleed to death on panel after selling the symbiote to supervillains as an attempted act of redemption???

wild fucking times! it’s not exactly worth recommending as ~shippy~, but the first real backbacklash to this first round of retcons comes from dan slott, who just kind of ignores it all in new ways to die. drags eddie back to the land of the living and relevant, makes the symbiote refuse to let its new host kill him, telling that host, and reestablishing, that it loves eddie. and then, to keep him living and relevant, slott makes eddie anti-venom.

don’t even worry about it. anti-venom is essentially eddie seeking redemption with symbiote powers, but without the symbiote, except he pretty much acts no fucking different at all, just keeps on being a murderous vigilante with cracked ideas about innocence and guilt. people still act like he’s better now because, in its metatextual ways, the hunger was right.

then fucking uuuuuuhhhhhhh. agent venom. symbiote goes to flash thompson and the us military, and the writer, rick remender, goes really, really, really hard on the control narrative. the symbiote becomes a substance flash is addicted to, gives a voice to his past abuse, it’s dark times all the times.

people very much do like that narrative for flash, like at least from that perspective it was worth it. i don’t like it much for the symbiote. for the symbiote, representing everything fucked up with flash and forcing him to murder kill bite all the time is resolved via the good guy avengers literally lobotomising it so flash can wear it without further resistance or input. imagine doing that to a human person. you’re uncooperative so we’re gonna turn off your higher cognitive functions and wear you like a meat suit. happy ending for everybody! truly we’ve conquered our demons this day.

then! at the same time, there’s a cartoon coming out, it’s called ultimate spider-man. THAT one does the control narrative take with harry osborn, but then does the relationship take with flash, making it the only cartoon to outright redeem the symbiote and let it find friendship and be valued as a person.

and people loved it! so brian michael bendis gets it in his head that he’s going to redeem the symbiote and make it partner up with flash. and he does redeem it by the highly fucking questionable means of having it be “cleansed”, aka brainwashed and relieved of its memories and personality. not that it matters for long. nothing fucking matters in comics. take this with you if it’s the only thing.

so then for fun friendship times you get venom: space knight, flash and the symbiote’s adventures in space! and then that gets cancelled. eddie is off somewhere being toxin and hunting carnage (2016). many good comics but you did not ask for them.

and THEN.

it is time for the next MOTHER of backlashes.

flash gets literally discarded at fucking roadside to put the symbiote back on eddie and turn back time on their relationship to RIGHT before the FIRST backlash happened. you know, all those 2003 retcons. gone. ignored. no more. venom’s themes are now those circa 1996 again. full fucking on relationship narrative. ROMANTIC relationship narrative, and that after the symbiote was turned into eddie’s evil shadow, after he hated it and spent a LONG time seeking to eradicate all symbiotes (and not even for the first time).

the COSTA run. venom (2016). reviled and beloved.

like this comic is fucking ANGRY about symbiote treatment. i HAD to tell you all of that so you’d understand ANYTHING it’s doing. the first thing it does is flip it completely around, puts the symbiote on a military guy who’s making IT do bad things, makes his ability to control it horrifying and abusive instead of heroic and admirable. one of the later things it does (in the follow-up venom: first host) is outright feature a villain who lobotomises symbiotes, ending on a symbiote serving him swift and sweet payback by doing the same thing TO HIM. it’s exactly as unsubtle as the hunger (2003) was about its hang-ups.

comics... are a conversation.

flash remains a symbiote friend but still got fucked over big time by it all, symbiote-focused writers slott and costa also kind of use him to literally, in case anybody hadn’t caught on, literally spell out the REAL story that’s been going on in the writer's room for the past THIRTY YEARS:

you’ll notice i didn’t actually list any of the Gay Shit for you, you’ve probably already seen it or you’ll get to see it for yourself. yes, they are deeply in love, yes, it’s fucked up and flawed, yes, it is real and taken seriously and has ultimately redeeming potential. yes the concept of that nearly knocked me off my feet and in front of the subway at one point. yes there’s mpreg

it’s also fucking riddled with events, which spin off into other comics, so either ignore those and rely on the recaps OR click yourself forward through the “next issue (story)” button on marvel wikia to know what to read.

and after that must of course come the backbackbacklash, as certain as death or taxes. in the next run, we retcon everything once more, eddie just needs to control his darkness, the symbiote was an evil abuser all along, nothing on earth is ever new.

i’m not gonna go through it, i’m just gonna point you to the backbackbackbacklash issue that came out during this time: venom annual volume 2 number 1 - it’s confusingly named, it’s the one that has a blue-skinned space lady on it. this one ignores the backbackbacklash going on very pointedly and goes “it’s not ABOUT control” again, it’s pretty explicitly romantic.

and then there’s also marvel comics presents (2019) #5, which, oddly enough, does not particularly feature the characterisation you’d typically see in the relationship narrative? but it does feature eddie and the symbiote literally fucking, so you’d want to know about it.

that’s the overall, like, frame of eddie and the symbiote being in a relationship (nuh uh) (yeah they are) (NUH UH) (YEAH THEY ARE)

some stuff that’s smaller but still notable, uh.

nova (1999) 6 - 7, that’s the “we’re space married”

venom: dark origin, that’s an ALTERNATE (!!!) take on the character, don’t expect a likeable eddie but it’s very darkly funny and gay so what can i say.

venom: the end, which i would absolutely fucking hate to be canon, i think its characterisation is quite regressive, but the symbiote sure is in love, i guess.

venom: separation anxiety, the dawn of the control narrative but eddie’s characterisation did not have to go so wrong from here, like if they’d just figured out AT THIS STAGE that he's STILL acting like venom without it... i digress. it has the symbiote going eddie eddie eddieee

venom: sinner takes all, this is the first she-venom comic so that’s. hm. interesting. healing symbiote blanket

don’t read venom: license to kill just look at this panel with me

if i think of more comics worth adding i’ll add them.

the subtext slash text is heavy enough to be present to some degree in literally every cartoon adaptation of eddie brock. spider-man: the animated series goes FULL control narrative, in fact it started the “the symbiote corrupted peter” take that we to this day cannot escape, but the first few venom episodes are VERY playful about their relationship.

in spectacular spider-man it’s canon, but horrible. eddie’s in love with it, but eddie's a good boy and the symbiote is played very, very, very abusively. i think this is an evil symbiote adaptation that works well enough, at least it’s an actual meaningful character instead of just a malevolent force to resist.

in marvel’s spider-man, the only venom episode worth watching is venom returns.

i’ve actually got every symbiote-relevant episode listed right here from when we did our communal watch-through.

also watch truth in journalism. idk if it’s exactly shippy just do it

[caramel-clowns]

*rollerskates up to you, hands you a list of questions then rollerskates away*

what music would you choose to play every time you walk into a room?

which superpower would you not want?

you have discovered a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society and you can even make the rules. whats going to be the first rule youll put into place?

to kill an elephant, how many chickens would be required?

if you took out a ship and changed all of its parts until none of the original parts are intact anymore, is it still the same ship or a totally different one?

why do you think are manholes round?

are eyebrows also considered facial hair?

is your time truly wasted if you enjoy wasting it?

in 2050, what will be the fastest mode of transportation?

have you ever been tempted to sleep inside the fridge?

which individual, corporation, country, or organization would you bankrupt if you had the chance?

suppose you have been given an elephant and you can’t give it away or sell it. What would you do with it?

what characteristics would your nemesis have if you had one?

circus music, or two trucks by lemon demon bc the idea of someone walking into the room followed by "TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX-" is really fucking funny to me being able to speak to animals, I know that'ss probably an unpopular opinion but what if my pets hate me???? we all worship disco balls (/j) uhhhhh idk prolly something like...uh, no bigotry ig idk I shouldn't rule an island Id be a shit leader lmao yes totally different i think giant worms bust through the ground and thats why they are round yes, they are on your face, they are hair, therefore facial hair i think it depends bc like if you have something you actually need to work on that has a deadline or something then its kinda wasting time but also who cares, spend your time how you want, i spend like 90% of my time on tumblr and ao3 so- probably still cars, i dunno im hoping to live in the forest in a cottage when im older and never hear about cars ever sometimes its REALLY warm in our house so yes no fucking idea he'd be my bestie, we'd go everywhere together, the ability to flirt bc if i have a nemesis we're going enemies to lovers

[anthropwashere]

thank u for the tags yelling at us youths to sit up straight. im only 23 but disabled and my back is about the only part of me that ISNT fucked up yet, so i will attempt to not destroy my spinal cord in your honor (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Gonna take this as an opportunity to go off on a tangent and emphasize how out of nowhere your health can 180 in ways that will have a lasting impact for the rest of your life, and that this can happen at any moment no matter how careful or healthy you try to be

-I grew up poor enough to not have regular access to medical/dental/etc. for years at a time, avoided serious issues by sheer fucking luck and an extended family that did not sign up to raise another kid but thank christ they stepped up for me.

-managed to stay healthy enough to join the Air Force at 18. this was good news because the alternative was being homeless (again), which gosh got old fast. free medical? fuck yeah, uncle sam! my teeth are a mess and it sure would be nice to have glasses again!

-knees started acting up in BMT. slowly got worse as the years passed. haven't needed surgery yet but they make some wild gristly sounds when I go up stairs these days and anything more than a casual running regimen is immediately vetoed

-deployed when I was 22. wearing body armor was Not Great for my upper back. lost ability to pop anything in my spine from the shoulder blades up, gained some truly unsexy shooting pains in exchange

-several years of severe headaches i ignored because lmao childhood trauma and also not wanting to be seen as weak due to being just about the only enlisted woman in almost every unit/office i worked in.

-marriage imploded at 26 which gosh, did NOT do good things for the mild anxiety/depression i'd been staunchly ignoring for like a decade at that point. i used to think commercials for anti-depressants were like, rude satire. nope. that really is just how shitty a brain can get!

-apropos of FUCKALL I woke up one morning just before I turned 27 with a headache that has varied in intensity and location but has never gone away. latest diagnosis is a type of headache that's so persistent and resistant to treatment that there are known cases of people having this type for 30+ years. i could be one of those unlucky fucks! or it could go away tomorrow! we just don't know!

-spent 2018-2021 making EXTENSIVE USE of that free medical trying to figure out what the hell was going on or to at least find literally anything that will help reduce/control it. I have at this moment within arm's reach something like $2k worth of medical devices I got for free to help with the migraines.

-they don't.

-one time i tried to do a tally of how much I would have had to be pay out of pocket for all the primary care visits, the specialty care visits, the physical therapy, the stupid fucking useless acupuncture, the Botox, the ~16 different medications, the ER visits from bad reactions to medications, etc. etc. etc. if i hadn't been in the AF and I decided to go lay down in a dark room with an ice pack and not think about it instead.

-i did spend thousands out of pocket on a chiropractor, massages, and gas to keep driving to all those fucking appointments.

-during all this the constant migraines wreaked havoc on my neck, jaw, and shoulders, which in turn contributed to a vicious cycle of pain where doing anything beyond boiling myself in a dark shower 1-2 times a day did not only seem more trouble than it was worth, but WAS more trouble than it was worth.

-i was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia at 28. the rheumatology clinic gave me a pamphlet that was less informative than a google search and a politely phrased 'you're young and you still have all your limbs, why are you complaining? go away.'

-fibromyalgia diagnosis was given despite more evidence pointing to Sjogren's syndrome, which is an actual autoimmune disorder that sure, won't kill me, but it WOULD explain why my teeth have only gotten worse despite extremely thorough annual workups. it can cause all sorts of fun organ dysfunctions too. i could also go blind! either way neither is curable and whatever i've got showed up a decade earlier than is typically expected for my demographic!

-it wasn't any of the squillion medical experts i saw but literally just some other woman in my squadron who suggested i put my name on the Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry, because she developed all sorts of autoimmune fuckery after her deployment. all of That is still being researched and debated and such, and has been for decades. maybe breathing too much sand and burning garbage gave me brain damage! maybe not!

-also during all this i lost half my hair due to damage caused by using Devacurl products. if you use that brand there are currently multiple lawsuits going on! you or your loved ones may be entitled to compensation, etc.

-anyway i turned 30 this year and a month later the Air Force kicked me out with 90% disability pay, a couple anti-depressant/anxiety prescriptions, and 0 fanfare.

-things could have gone so much worse for me and STILL COULD AT ANY MOMENT. I never considered myself invincible when I was younger but my good fucking gracious chronic pain isn't something i'd wish on anybody. i am terrified of the state my body might be in when i'm 40, never mind when i'm actually old. i am terrified of tomorrow. this is probably the severe anxiety talking.

-at least i've managed to avoid the heart disease rampant in my family? so far????

IN CONCLUSION, TO THE YOUTHS:

sit up straight, do some stretches, go for walkies, eat a vegetable, turn the music down a little, clean linens are the best gift you can give yourself, however much water you typically drink in a day it isn't enough, therapy does actually help, it's okay to be mad sometimes but i'm begging you to find at least one thing to laugh about every day, please take care of yourselves, and most importantly ENJOY your bodies while the going's good. this meat is expiring fast and there are no refunds.

[pla-teau]

WHATTHEFUCK WANDAVISION EPISODE 5

SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

GIFS AREN’T MINE

EPISODE 4 THOUGHTS

opening title | right off the bat, the paintbrush is surrounded by wanda’s powers. this adds to the assumption that wanda is the mastermind behind all that is happening with westview. could mean nothing but i just find that little detail interesting. also, in the recap, in the quick moment in episode 3, we see another variation of the scene when vision asks wanda where geraldine went. she says “she’s gone. she didn’t belong here.” i feel like in recaps to come, we’ll see slight variations of past scenes to indicate that the reality in westview is breaking or just to show the actual words exchanged during the altered scene. wanda is the one broadcasting and chooses what audiences can and cannot see so maybe this is the original cut of the scene that we nor SWORD saw in the broadcast.

agnes | first off, agnes breaks character for a second like an actress who screws up and so everyone has to do a retake. when she says to wanda that she wants her to hold the kids, wanda is even confused for a second. she looks to her like she’s the one in charge. i think she did this on purpose since vision went off script as well in not letting agnes hold the boys. even though there’s footage in the 90s episode that she’s also being controlled by wanda when vision pulls her out of the trance, i still think she’s working with the main bad guy to hurt wanda. she doesn’t seem to react when the boys age up twice in front of her, always making a witty and funny comment.

wanda’s a terrorist | the way hayward quickly labeled wanda as a terrorist makes me think that there’s ulterior motives with this dude. didn’t want to believe it but marvel has put me in a habit of assuming guys in suits have sinister agendas. while jimmy woo gives a brief rundown of wanda’s life, hayward is quick to focus on the negative aspect because she’s a criminal with the sokovia accords still in place. he seems to be the only one driving this idea forward just because he’s the acting director of SWORD. he even put a damn missile on the retro drone monica controlled to get inside the anomaly. as acting director, he would know that a missile is useless against an avenger with wanda’s powers. i believe that he knew that missile wouldn’t do anything to wanda and the sole purpose was to antagonize her to continue painting her as the sole mastermind behind westview. i think he’s just trying to shift the blame from SWORD to wanda now that she possesses the body that can be used to create more weapons etc. etc.

vision’s body | so that scene we saw in the sneak peek was indeed footage of wanda stealing vision’s body and that SWORD was in possession of it. with monica saying in the previous episode that SWORD doesn’t do creation and hayward saying they’re focusing on robotics etc., it makes SWORD also v hypocritical because the brief footage we see of him - he’s dismembered. it doesn’t take much to assume that SWORD was most likely using vision’s body towards their robotics, nanotech and AI projects.

lagos commercial | clearly this is in reference to wanda’s accidental killing of innocent lives after trying to protect steve from crossbones in civil war. the saying “for when you make a mess you didn’t mean to” at the end makes me disagree more on haydick hayward’s assumption that she’s a terrorist. i like how they used this as a paper towel commercial as after lagos, the sokovia accords were written. for me, the paper towel represents the actual accords since they’re drafted on paper, right? how do we clean up any mess in the real world? with laws and regulations being written and enforced aka a piece of paper.

norm’s moment of consciousness | norm is granted a moment of consciousness by vision and is quickly hysterical. his statements about how vision has to stop and get her out of his head has me split. on one hand, he could be talking about wanda since monica said the same thing in her recounting of the events in the anomaly. but i also think it’s agnes or someone else who’s just disguising themselves as wanda (her emotions, grief, etc) to get everyone to see wanda as the bad guy (again).

SWORD computer message | how was the westview reality able to see this message by SWORD? it didn’t have much detail and only the basic rundown of what was going on but it’s interesting to see that message be ‘intercepted’ by the hex. we didn’t see from the outside that they were trying to communicate with wanda or someone within the town. it was also weird how the whole staff read it together at once - very creepy and raises more questions than answers.

“you can fix the dead” | tommy’s comment to wanda when sparky passes away. clearly the only dead one is vision in wanda’s world even though he appears very much alive in westview. i don’t think even wanda knows the true extent of her powers if she is the main perpetrator in all of this. i’ve also seen people mention that maybe the death of sparky is meant to push wanda to unlock that power if she has the ability to bring back the dead.

wanda and vision arguing | from the get go, we’re seeing vision going off script because he’s piecing things together. he notices how agnes always comes in to save the day or with something the couple needs. i like that we’re seeing the pair fight because they haven’t been on the same page arguably since episode 3 which was the last time we saw wanda edit an episode.

“you’ve never talked to me like this before” | wanda to vision. as i’ve said before, the show is really making vision seem more of the human one of the couple even being supposedly dead. what wanda says is true, we’ve never seen vision so much as raise his voice at wanda. in the past, before westview, vision always tread lightly around wanda and thought about how to word news of something she may not react well to. he’s always been calculating and thoughtful in his approach to wanda. even when she shoved him down however deep into the ground to leave the avengers facility in civil war, vision didn’t yell at her when they fought. it’s been nothing but love that vision has communicated to wanda. now with his clear frustration of the situation and evidence, it’s understandable that he’s yelling at her. it’s human to assume and jump to the worst conclusion about someone. he’s becoming more human in being upset and frustrated with someone he cares for that looks like the bad guy and victimizer of a whole town and seemingly controlling him and making decisions for him. i really hope he doesn’t get killed off at the end because i’m truly loving vision’s growth and range throughout the series.

“i can’t remember my life before westview” | this speaks to vision’s physical state. i think he’s not fully dead but because he doesn’t have the mind stone. every iteration we’ve seen of vision in the mcu has been with the stone since 2015. he doesn’t remember his creation or his death in 2018. the last 8 years are a blank for vision and understandably so, he’s upset and frustrated at the situation and at wanda. maybe it’s because he’s in the hex and maybe once outside, he’ll remember or somehow recount what’s happened? again, i hope he doesn’t just die once he gets out of the hex.

pietro’s ‘recast’ | the most shocking part of this episode that made me choke on my water and feel 50 different emotions in a matter of seconds. anyways, i think wanda damn well knows that it isn’t the brother she lost. i think she pieces it together that he is pietro but just not her world’s pietro like she feels some sort of connection to this pietro (if that makes any sense)? love that this brings in the multiverse into the mcu. i am still was holding my breath for aaron taylor-johnson but seeing evan peters’ peter was a fun surprise. in rewatching, the episode sets this surprise cameo up with billy and tommy asking her about pietro and this reoccurring theme that ‘family is forever’. i think that either wanda doesn’t realize her powers and her life in westview is bringing in people from other universes or that whoever is behind all of this is giving wanda one more reason to stay in westview since vision is starting to go off script and can’t be controlled by wanda anymore.

long lost bro | the fact he says this makes me curious as to whether this truly is peter from the x-men universe or if whoever is orchestrating this is just using peter’s body to manipulate wanda and play along in her ‘show’. if it’s truly peter that’s been plucked from the x-men universe, maybe he’s given this knowledge or whoever is controlling him is planting that information in his brain so he can say that he’s wanda’s long lost brother which he technically is. there’s also been people pointing out that in the mirror behind wanda looks distorted when you look, you would be able to see peter and wanda’s in the reflection. it looks unreal and this could be a key to seeing the reality of what’s happening in westview, maybe hopefully this’ll be a key to opening wanda’s eyes that something clearly isn’t right.

[tuanhood]

hypnotic | part one

paring: vampire!im jaebeom x reader

genre: angst, eventual smut (part two), vampire au

warnings: language, cringey vampire cliches i’m sure

word count: 9,800+

summary: jaebeom has been waiting 200 years to find his mate - the one who can break his trance and isn’t affected by his hypnotic abilities. You don’t seem to be that person, but he just can’t seem to get you out of his mind… why? 

a/n: hello guys! so i originally had this planned to post tomorrow (the 30th) but it was so long i decided to split it up and post one part today and the other part on the 31st! This first part is mostly Jaebeom and not a lot of Y/N but SO BE IT. This is also my first time writing in the genre of vampire/fantasy loL so please forgive me because it’ll probably be cringe and not make sense. if that’s the case lol drop me a message!! also vampire jaebeom was requested FOREVER ago. so here it is practically 3 decades later. and i attempted to make a banner. if someone can make me a better one it’s v much WELCOME.

part two

Knock Knock Knock 

He wished he could just pretend like he was asleep. He wished he could use that as an excuse to not answer the door, but based on the very strong feeling he was getting from who was behind it – that wouldn’t work. 

“I know you’re in there! Just answer the damn door Jaebeom!”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, leave it to Bambam to be at his front door before the day even had a chance to truly begin. Before letting him in, he went through all the possible things or excuses he could use to get out of whatever his younger friend had in mind.

“Is your vintage YSL here or is it still at the dry cleaners?” Bambam asked, pushing past Jaebeom as soon as he has the door partway open.

Gruffly, Jaebeom turned back into his apartment to Bambam already halfway to his bedroom – no doubt to look through his closet, “What are you doing here Bam?” 

“What does it look like? I’m here for the vintage YSL asshole!” 

He’s learned by now that it’s better to let him do his thing – whatever that may mean. So instead of following Bambam, he plopped down onto the same couch he’s had for nearly 15 years. “You know when I first bought that shirt it wasn’t considered vintage!”

Jaebeom waited for a response, but instead, he was met with silence. After a few moments – many of them thinking about how maybe it was time to replace the couch – he felt his “vintage” YSL button-down hit him in the face. 

He groaned; the impact was surely going to create wrinkles in the material he tried to keep in pristine condition. It was ironic since he was often heard making fun of how much Bambam cared about clothes, but Jaebeom liked to keep his things nice. “Bam I just got it back from getting cleaned a couple of days ago.”

“Put it on.” 

The tone of his friend’s voice seemed rather impatient. If he had closed his eyes, Jaebeom would have thought he was talking to Jinyoung or even himself. 

“Why do I need to put it on? It’s 8 in the morning; where are we going?”

“Um excuse me? Did you forget what day it was? Now come on, we’re meeting Jinyoung at that new café down the street in fifteen.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to picture the café on the mental map he keeps in his mind, “the one that used to be a video store in the 90s?”

Bambam made his way into the living room, picking up a few glasses that rested on the coffee table Jaebeom’s feet were on top of, and marched over to the small kitchen. Jaebeom has lived in this apartment more years than he’d like to admit, especially because enough time had passed that the neighbors he had were clearly aging and he just stayed 26. The thought of moving somewhere new often enters his mind, but with this place, he just can’t bring it in himself to go quite yet. It’s almost as though something is tying him to this city, this place – like he’s waiting for something.

“Yes, and a speakeasy in the 20s both of which are not important right now because we live in the 21st century Jaebeom. Now come on, Jinyoung’s waiting – that asshole is always early.” 

He heard Bambam mumble something along the lines of known him 100 years, would it kill him to just be on time for once, as he furiously dropped the glasses on the kitchen counter.

“Do I have to go?” 

Bambam paused his motions of putting Jaebeom’s dirty dishes into the sink to stare the older vampire down, “Jaebeom you only turn 200 once.” 

He scoffed in response, “Jesus don’t remind me.”

“We have to make a whole day of it! So please just put the shirt on, because I want you looking presentable,” he stopped in the middle of his sentence, suddenly wiggling his eyebrows, “you never know what could happen.” The final word is drawn out, almost sing-song like and it drives Jaebeom up the wall because he knows exactly what Bambam is referencing.

For Jaebeom and those like Jaebeom, they didn’t consider the day they were born as their birthday, but instead as the day they turned. There was no point in celebrating their birth anymore as they were no longer alive. However, at this point after 200 birthdays, – alive and dead combined - Jaebeom was beginning to believe that there was no point to those either. He always knew being immortal was a curse but day by day that idea was only solidifying itself in his mind.  

Jaebeom let out a gruff breath which only made Bambam look up from the fork he was scrubbing, “Bam I don’t know what you think is going to happen today… but it certainly isn’t that.” 

The “that” he was referencing was one of the main factors that as of late had made him feel like living forever was indeed a waste. It was the thing that was supposed to make him feel “complete.” According to old texts and traditional vampire folklore, he was now walking around half full, but once he met his mate, he would become whole. At first, he didn’t believe the tale. He had gotten by so far without a mate that the idea of him not being complete made him laugh. But watching both Bambam and Jinyoung find their mates – Bambam 70 years ago and Jinyoung 16 years ago – made him finally acknowledge and reflect on the piece of himself he was missing. 

And fuck he was lonely. 

Bambam chuckled at him as if being in on his own personal joke. His friend was strange like that sometimes, “just put the shirt on Jaebeom.” 

By the time he’s had the shirt on and Bambam has somehow convinced him to let him wear his Rolex he got as a gift from his friend Jackson in 1920, Jaebeom feels mentally prepared to leave the house and embark on this dreadful day. The reminder that he has now been around for 200 years and still is not whole.

“Finally,” Jinyoung sighed when Jaebeom and Bambam finally reached the café down the street, “I’ve been waiting 20 minutes.” 

A disgruntled Bambam checks his watch, “well if you don’t want to wait every single time, don’t be so fucking early,” he promptly turned to Jaebeom to share his grief regarding their friend, “you think he would learn after all this time.” 

“Let’s just go order,” Jaebeom shrugged, not caring to be in another disagreement between his longer than life friends.

“Be honest you’re early on purpose just so it gives you something to complain about and a reason to make us feel bad!” 

Jinyoung ignored Bambam’s theory, replying to the oldest, “no need. I already ordered for the three of us. It’s a special day, the birthday boy doesn’t need to pay,” he glanced at Bambam, “you on the other hand…” 

The two new arrivals, flop down into the sofa chairs on either side of Jinyoung, along of them situated to make a half-circle in front of a low coffee table. The three of them had somehow stuck into this… pattern. Years of friendship that contained years of Bambam/Jinyoung squabbles that Jaebeom would often have to mediate. Patterns were nice, but sometimes they would get old – especially after so long. 

As the two of them argue over whether or not Bambam should pay Jinyoung back for a simple iced Americano because Bam swears he got the drinks the last two times, Jaebeom looks over to the counter where the baristas work on – no doubt – the plethora of orders they have. The factor of the café being new has certainly been the cause of the popularity and amount of people in the shop. He can’t help but feel bad for the individuals working on the drinks – three years ago he had been one of them for roughly 18 months and knew that it wasn’t as easy as it appeared to be. 

In retrospect, Jaebeom didn’t have to work. He had so much time to learn and understand what it meant to be financially responsible. Not only that, but he’s literally had hundreds of years to save. Plus, his early investments in companies ended up landing him some pretty substantial and valuable shares. Jaebeom was sitting on quite the pretty penny. 

“Wow your portfolio is remarkable… I’ve never seen one like it,” his latest financial advisor had said to him in complete awe, “I mean an early investor in Amazon? Apple? Mastercard?” 

Jaebeom had laughed nervously, “What can I say? My grandpa had good intuition, I guess.” 

Money aside, he had wanted something to do with his time – hence his barista job. It was fun, but like most things, Jaebeom just grew tired of it and as he watched the girl working the espresso machine let out an exhausted breath, he realized that he wasn’t missing it. 

Jaebeom has become good at studying people. It was something he still wasn’t sure of whether it was a vampire thing or just something he had picked up over time. Watching the girl at the machine, her hair is in a low bun, a few strands falling in front of her face. It’s clear with the way the hair tie is situated, that the hairstyle was once a bit neater, tighter, and sat at the middle or even top of her head. However, the now fallen placement and slight disarray signal how busy she’s been working and how fried she must be feeling. 

He looks to the string bracelet on her wrist, visible from far away enough for Jaebeom to conclude that she must have someone in her life deemed important to wear one of those “friendship” bracelets. He never saw the point, but humans were strange creatures, despite him once being one. 

Jaebeom’s breath hitches when he catches sight of the delicately drawn tattoo on her wrist near the bracelet. It’s of lavender and it immediately reminds him of his mother who had loved exploring the lavender field that had been near his home when he was a child. Despite all the time that has passed since he lost his mother, the pain that aches inside of Jaebeom when he thinks of her isn’t any less. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the call at the coffee bar, “Order for Jinyoung.” 

The call comes from the overworked girl he had been studying and Jaebeom wants more than anything to stand up and retrieve their orders. He finds a weird want to hear what her laugh sounds like. Maybe he could say something or strike up a conversation that would-

“What are you doing?” It takes Jaebeom a moment to notice that he has partially stood up from his chair as if he’s about to go somewhere. Cluelessly, he replied, “going to get the drinks.”

The youngest shook his head, “No way! Birthday boys don’t get their drinks, they don’t lift a finger.” 

He knew Bambam was one to take birthdays seriously, but this was beginning to feel like it was going the extra mile too many. 

“I’ll get it.” 

Jaebeom watched Bambam get up to retrieve the drinks. He expects him to just grab the drinks and return to the table, but instead, Bambam says something to the girl. Arching his neck to the side, he tries to make a clear path to eavesdrop on what’s being said, hearing being one of the benefits of turning. Unfortunately, the café is too loud for him to focus on the conversation and he’s defeated by the fact that he’ll have to stay in the dark.

The girl laughs loudly at something Bambam said and Jaebeom can’t help but feel mixed about it. On one hand, he got his wish – hearing her laugh – but on the other hand, he wasn’t the cause of it. For some reason it makes him bring his clench and unclench his fists which rest on the arms of the sofa chair. Jinyoung takes notice.

Jaebeom quickly looks down at his lap when he senses that Bambam is returning to where they’re sat, not wanting to give away that he had been staring. First, he places Jinyoung’s and his drink on the table, soon turning back around to go back and fetch the last drink – Jaebeom’s. 

When he comes back, Jaebeom looks up to see a large grin spread across the youngest’s face. He has that look again – the one as if he knows a joke Jaebeom doesn’t. 

The latter nodded his head in thanks for getting the drinks as he inspects his green tea on the table. Just as he’s about to pick up the mug, he’s stopped in his tracks by an announcement coming from the coffee bar. 

“Hello everyone! Sorry for the interruption, but I’ve been told that we have a birthday here today,” you said. Giving announcements wasn’t your strong suit, but you figured now that you were an actual owner of something, you were going to get over your shyness. But you didn’t think it was going to be that often that a tall, skinny and pale boy with a Rolex on his wrist would be asking you to get your coffee shop to sing happy birthday for his friend. Even when you were a barista working for someone else no one had made such a request. This was a café after all, not an Applebee’s.

Jaebeom wished more than anything that he could sink into his seat and just disappear. If only that cliché that vampires turned into bats were true, then he could just fly away at a moment’s notice. Leave it to Bambam to torture him like this. It wasn’t intentional of course, but it certainly felt like it to Jaebeom. 

It was especially tragic to him because the girl he had been studying was the one leading the entire café in singing “Happy Birthday.” He did his best to avoid looking at her, feeling like his entire body was heating up in embarrassment even though he couldn't heat up. 

You on the other hand felt a little insulted by the birthday boy’s lack of eye contact. You hadn’t even managed to get a good look at him before you started singing and now it was not possible with the way that he was looking down at the ground, his long hair falling in front of his face, concealing itself to you. It wasn’t difficult to conclude that he felt awkward about a bunch of strangers he had never met singing him happy birthday, you had felt the same whenever your friends tried to ambush you on your birthday… but you at least looked up and acknowledged the presence of the people singing. A tight smile from this guy would even be happily accepted. 

When the song is over and the claps that follow finally subside, he looks up to see the café back at its previous state of normalcy, not a single person looking at him anymore. Jaebeom lets out a sigh of relief. 

“You could at least act like you liked it,” Bambam huffed in annoyance. He wished Jaebeom could appreciate the idea of birthdays like he did. 

“I really didn’t need to be the center of attention today Bam.” 

“But it’s your bir-” Bambam begins to explain, but Jaebeom abruptly cuts him off, not wanting to hear his reasoning for today’s antics, yet again. The day hadn’t even started.

“My birthday, I know. Thanks for reminding me.” 

Jinyoung clears his throat and plays with the spoon that came with his Flat White. Just as Jaebeom is the mediator for Bambam and Jinyoung, sometimes Jinyoung has to be the mediator for Jaebeom and Bambam. Essentially the commonality in the disagreements of their trio friendship is Bambam and currently, Jinyoung feels as though he should route the conversation elsewhere.

“What else is in the cards for tonight then boys?” 

It’s then based on the look on Jaebeom’s face, that Jinyoung thinks that maybe talking about the plans for tonight – on Jaebeom’s birthday – isn’t re-routing the conversation. Especially since it’s Bambam’s whose eyes light up and is the one to reply to him.

“Obviously we’re going out tonight,” Bambam paused and turned to Jaebeom, wagging his finger in the latter’s face, “there’s no way you’re getting out of this. I’m not taking no for an answer this time.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and didn’t respond as he knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He had rejected Bambam’s invitations to go out consistently for the last 6 months and on his birthday of all days, Bam was going to force him out of the house just as he had done this morning to come to the café.

He looks back to the front counter, his eyes searching for the barista who has now suddenly disappeared. A frown begins to make itself known on his face, feeling a bit disappointed by the fact that she may have left already or gone elsewhere, but soon she’s popping up from behind the counter, no doubt getting something from the cabinets below. Jaebeom feels relief. 

“What did you say to her?” he asked suddenly looking back at Bambam.

He cocked his head to the side, confused, “What did I say to who?” 

“The barista behind the counter.” 

His friend nodded his head slowly, suddenly realizing what Jaebeom means. A smirk appears on his face, “nothing much… Just how it was your birthday and it would be really good if we could all embarrass you by singing about it. She’s not a barista, by the way, she owns the place. Kinda backward thinking there Jae. It’s the 21st century, women can own things now, they can vote.” 

“I know that,” Jaebeom hissed. 

Bambam puts up his hands in defeat, “I’m just making sure.” 

“Don’t you know her?” Jinyoung asked, “isn’t that why we came here?” 

Jaebeom’s interests are perked. It’s not often that the three of them meet new people. It’s not like there’s a huge point to it. The last new person the three of them met was Mark – also a vampire – a bartender at their favorite club in the city, but that was in 2007. 

He waits for Bambam’s explanation as to how he knows this girl and why they came here specifically beside it just being near Jaebeom’s apartment. 

Waving his hand nonchalantly, the Thai boy gives his answer, “I don’t really know her. Minji does. Met her in some kind of class, I think. SoulCycle? Pilates? Zumba? I don’t know. I can’t keep up with her and her activities these days.” 

Minji is Bambam’s mate. He had turned her only a month after they met. 

Jaebeom’s not sure what he would do if he met his mate. He doesn’t know if he would want to subject them to turning and living the same kind of life as him, but he also doesn’t know if he could continue life alone after meeting his mate. If he ever meets them.

“Why the curiosity?” Jinyoung asked, for once finding it hard to remain stone-faced. Even his usual chill, non-revealing demeanor seems to fade away when it appears that his older friend might be attracted to someone. 

Jaebeom simply shrugged, “it’s nothing…” 

“What do you think? Could she be the one?” Bambam asked teasingly, pointing to the girl behind the counter. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes almost immediately at the younger boy, “if you’re going to keep bothering him about it, don’t make it so obvious idiot.” 

Jaebeom had been alive – or more like undead – for 200 years and more than half of that time he had to listen to this same conversation from his friends over and over again. His patience was wearing thin and 180 years later, he was tired of their pestering. 

He leaned forward slowly and grabbed his green tea off the table, making sure to visibly flinch at the heat of the drink, Bambam, and Jinyoung chuckling at his reaction. Out of the three of them, Jaebeom certainly had the most practice when it came to “putting on a show” for the humans and “acting” the most human. Taking a sip, he looked back at the girl behind the counter. 

The youngest vampire had spent many of their outings and conversations hypothesizing who Jaebeom’s mate could be. Despite being the oldest of the three, Jaebeom was the only one left who still hadn’t found his mate and he was beginning to feel hopeless. Typically, Bambam pointed out any human girl as a candidate – all of them of course ended up not being his mate. Therefore, Jaebeom didn’t pay attention to his picks anymore, but he had to admit… He did get a strange feeling from the girl behind the counter. 

Jaebeom looked to you, hoping to catch your gaze as you quickly made the coffee orders for the few people waiting to the side of the cash register. Just when he was about to give up and focus his attention back on his friends, you tore your concentration away from the drink in your hand and looked up at him from across the cafe. 

Jaebeom focused his gaze deep onto you with his eyes – testing, checking, and trialing your focus. You didn’t look away, instead, you trained your eyes deeply into his and stared at him until finally, it was Jaebeom who broke the contact. 

He shook his head at his friends, disappointed by your inability to break the trance and ultimately confused at the feeling he still got from you despite that. 

Jaebeom took another sip of the tea, “it’s not her.” 

“Did you have to debate that Uber driver on the Twilight franchise?” Jinyoung groaned at Bambam as soon as they’re out of the car. 

The entire twenty-minute ride, he had got into a heated discussion with their driver on how Twilight was not “true” or realistic to most actual vampire folklore. It had been an excruciating thing to listen to. 

“Got to stand up for our kind dude.” 

“Okay, but what happens when she starts asking how you know all these things or why you’re so interested in vampire stuff?” Jinyoung tended to always be right. This wasn’t an exception.

Brushing off his pants, Bambam gives him a nonchalant wave, “chill out man. Everyone loves vampire stuff.” 

“Maybe in 2008,” Jaebeom said just barely loud enough for his friends to hear them. The two of them laughed, Bambam shoving him playfully on the shoulder, “Birthday boy getting funny on us.” 

“I was always funny,” Jaebeom deadpanned. 

“Funny and looking good tonight. Let’s get you laid, shall we?” 

After a day that was jampacked full of various activities planned by his youngest friend, the last thing Jaebeom wanted to do was spend extra energy on trying to get some girl to come home with him tonight. Besides, he wasn’t that guy anymore. 

Jinyoung scoffed, “he doesn’t need to get laid tonight.”

“Yes, he does! Jaebeom how long has it been?” 

This time it’s Jinyoung that shoves Bambam’s shoulder – except it’s not all that playful. 

“Fine don’t answer that, but I’m just saying there will be quite a few girls here that you can have your pick of, despite your plain outfit.” 

Jaebeom looked at the clothes he had changed into when Bambam spared him a sliver of time to go back home to digress and feed his cats. The latter had wanted him to borrow clothes of his, but instead, Jaebeom decided on pulling pieces from his closet that felt more like him, less like Bambam. A plain pair of ripped jeans, an oversized black shirt that he had bought at a shop from his trip to London last year, and his mother’s necklace that often wasn’t missing from its spot around his neck.

Bambam’s earlier critique was that he was dressed too basic and that no girls would bat an eye at him. Girls don’t like plain guys, he had said. The comment makes Jaebeom wonder about you and whether you’d fall under the category of not liking “plain” guys. 

He bites the inside of his cheek. It was probably the eighth time he had made himself do it today. Jaebeom had found his mind often drifting to you throughout the day for some unexplainable reason. During their walk in the park, he wondered if you would take strolls during your breaks from the café or when Bambam forced him to go paint pottery for an hour and a half he thought about what you would paint. It frustrated him because he hadn’t even spoken to you – not a word and yet you were clearly on his mind for one reason or another. It wasn’t even like you were his mate. He had tried to see if you were unaffected by his trance, his hypnotic capabilities, but you had just stared at him completely fixated just as everyone else was. 

Jaebeom was not going to think about you any longer. He was already planning on avoiding your café. 

“We’re on the list,” Bambam tells the bouncer when they arrive at the entrance of the club. He scans the list and motions his head towards the direction of the door to signal to the three of them to go on ahead. There’s a bit of a whine coming from the people waiting in line which admittedly so makes Jaebeom feel a little guilty, but Bambam ensures him it’s fine, “why have a friend who works at a club if we can’t use him for the perks?” 

“Why does he keep bartending again?” As soon as the question is out of Jaebeom’s mouth he realizes it was a stupid thing to ask since the answer is apparent. 

Bambam laughed at him, giving his long – irreplaceable he’d like to remind everyone – leather coat to the person at the front of the club. Jaebeom swears he hears him tell the coat check guy the “proper” way to put it on a hanger. 

“Obviously for the girls Jaebeom.” 

Mark’s mate – Hana had passed on a long time ago. Jaebeom had never got the chance to meet her, only hears about her in passing from some stories that Mark has told the three of them. He hadn’t turned her. Jaebeom’s never asked why. 

“Girls… of course.” 

He can’t help but think about how Mark must feel inside. Although Jaebeom doesn’t know him as well as he knows Bambam and Jinyoung, whenever he’s with the older boy he’s always got a smile on his face. Often quiet, but he’s always got certain energy bouncing off of him that would indeed make him popular with women. However, if what they say about mates is true, would that mean that a piece of Mark was now missing? Did he feel like he was less of a person? Jaebeom felt like that sometimes and he hadn’t even met his mate yet. Mark had his, but now he didn’t. 

“Drinks?” Jinyoung asked the two of them and Jaebeom is partly surprised. Out of the three of them, Bambam was the one who was the most comfortable in a club or even bar setting. He figures that Jinyoung must be using his birthday as an excuse to cut loose and become someone else for the night.

Bambam instantly nodded his head at Jinyoung’s suggestion and Jaebeom finds himself trailing behind the two of them as they make their way over to Mark at the bar who is throwing his head back at something the girl across the bar is saying. Judging on Jaebeom’s intuition – it’s a bit fake and overplayed, but you got to do what you got to do.

“My man!” Bambam yelled over the music, leaning against the counter in a way to make sure he doesn’t get the elbows of his long sleeve turtleneck wet. Mark in response, turned to them and smiled, then routing his attention back to the girl, giving her an apologetic smile. Her half-smile says everything Jaebeom could need to know – this girl would not be going home with Mark after his shift tonight. 

“What can I get you guys tonight,” Mark turned to Jaebeom and the latter can barely make out his sharp canines in the dark club, “birthday boy you want anything special?” 

Before Jaebeom can reply that he wants to be at home, Bambam answers for him.

“Could we maybe get something that’s off the menu?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Mark who gave him a shit-eating grin, knowing immediately what he was talking about. 

“Off the menu” meant Mark’s secret stash of O negative underneath the counter. While alcohol had the same effect on them that it had on the average humans, adding a bit of blood just made a little bit better. Okay… it made it a lot better. 

“Three negronis coming right up,” Mark winked to give a little signal that these would most likely not be as well composed or put together as a negroni, but due to them being in public, he couldn’t necessarily announce a shit ton of alcohol mixed with human blood was going to be served up to them. 

“How has your birthday been Jae?” Mark asked as he was in the middle of placing three glasses onto the countertop in between them.

It was difficult to explain since to Jaebeom it had just been another day except for a little bit more excruciating. The celebration of another year “older” filled him with thoughts of how much time has passed, whether he’s done anything truly important and why he still hasn’t found the person who is meant to complete him… but like he said only a little more excruciating than any other day. 

Jaebeom shrugged in response, “Bam planned a lot and for the most part, it was…” he paused for a moment, wondering if he should say how he felt – numb, lost, and wishing the day would come to an end as if tomorrow won’t bring the same thoughts or problems. But as he looked at his friends who had tried so hard today to make him happy and celebrate, he decided to guard them against the ultimate truth, “for the most part it was fun – really good. I mean besides the singing at the café of course.” He throws in the last part to at least have some kind of believability to his story. 

He notices Mark’s eyebrows lift out of curiosity as his concentration focuses on measuring out each part of the drinks, “An entire café sang you happy birthday? Damn, I don’t think I could ever get through that, so I can only imagine how you feel.” 

“That was Bam’s idea,” Jinyoung muttered. 

Once again, Bambam does his nonchalant waving of the hand, “it wasn’t that bad. I mean okay, maybe it was… But Jaebeom was obsessed with the girl who led it.” 

Jaebeom suddenly feels like he wants to put duct tape over his friend’s mouth. 

“I was not obsessed with her! I don’t even know her!” Jaebeom for some reason felt the need to defend himself, which was probably the worst option. Him getting defensive was usually a tell-tale sign for his friends being right on whatever they were confronting him with. 

Bambam scoffed, bringing gliding his drink across the bar to be directly in front of him once Mark has poured it neatly into the short glass, “I noticed you staring at her before I went to get the drinks. That’s why I asked her to do it in the first place.” 

“So, she doesn’t know Minji?” Jinyoung questioned. 

The youngest takes his first sip and immediately lets out a hissing noise, signaling to Mark that it’s both strong and good. “No, she does, but Jaebeom’s weird staring only made it that much better.” 

Mark pushed the other two glasses towards Jinyoung and Jaebeom, “Was she your…” he drifted off, almost as though he was finding it physically difficult to get the word out. Jaebeom can’t help but feel the want to reach his hand out towards Mark and place it comfortingly on his shoulder, but his group of friends don’t do that. Instead, he saves him the trouble by answering back right away, not forcing him to say it.

“No, she wasn’t.” 

The bartender nodded slowly, suddenly avoiding his gaze from the three familiar boys across the bar from him, “That’s uh… too bad that she wasn’t able to break the trance. Sorry, Jaebeom.” 

He knows that Mark is just trying to be nice, especially when they’re on a subject that he clearly can’t and doesn’t want to talk about, but the attempt to be comforting makes Jaebeom nauseous. 

“Well maybe he’ll find her here tonight,” Jinyoung quipped, placing a hand on Jaebeom’s back. Sometimes the latter swore that his friends treated him he had just found out he had a terminal illness. 

“I sincerely doubt it,” Jaebeom commented gruffly. 

There’s a sound from the other side of the bar from a customer who seems fed up with the conversation being had between the four of them – distracting Mark from serving anyone else. He gives a signal to them to notify them that he’ll be there in a second. “Well… come to me if you guys need more drinks.  It’s on me tonight.” 

“Thanks, man,” Jaebeom tells him honestly because he might need a couple more drinks before he gets to the state of wanting to be in this room.

Mark said a final word of “see you guys later” and heads to the other end of the bar to help customers who have been waiting. Grabbing their drinks, Jaebeom, Jinyoung, and Bambam turn around to depart the bar, to find somewhere to sit for a bit before the drinks truly begin to hit them.  

With his drink in hand, Jaebeom took a sip and reveled in the perfect balance of alcohol to burn his throat and blood to soothe it. The drink was probably the most relaxing part of his day thus far and as he looked out at the crowd, he could already tell that maybe the mixture was going to his head due to his sudden thinking that this place wasn’t all that bad.

Despite not being a club guy, if he were to go out, Jaebeom would always choose this club that Mark works out. To put it simply – it was vampire friendly. With Mark behind the counter and his “secret” supply free-flowing, it became a notoriously known place for vampires in town. If he had to guess, the attendance on an average night was probably evenly split 50/50, humans and vampires.

The humans weren’t aware of the vampires of course – for the most part.

Jaebeom cleared his throat once they’ve found a booth to sit in, “so… Bam what do you know about that girl?” 

Both Jinyoung and Bambam exchange glances before looking back at the birthday boy. The latter tried his best to conceal the smile on his face, “not much… just that she owns the café, knows Minji, and is very single.” 

For some reason, Jaebeom’s stomach does a little flip, but he wishes it wouldn’t. “S-So?” Through his stutter, he tries to remain as confident as possible, but his friends see right through his façade.

Jinyoung leaned forward until his elbows rest on the top of his thighs, “Jaebeom you can be honest with us… Why the sudden fascination with this girl? Are you sure she didn’t break the trance? Just with the way that you’re acting…” Jinyoung drifted off, not bothering to finish his final sentence, but once again looking at Bambam. It makes Jaebeom lean forward in his seat as well. 

“With the way, I’m acting? I’m completely normal. I’m fine. She didn’t break the trance and now I’m just curious about her as curious as anyone would be about someone they meet.” 

There’s the silence between the three of them until Bambam speaks up, “You didn’t meet her though.” 

It dawns on Jaebeom that he didn’t even speak to you and he wonders why does it feel like he did. Why did it feel like he knew you but didn’t at the same time? Why haven’t his mind and body been cooperating with him since this morning at the café? 

Just with the way that you’re acting…

The way he was acting? What did that mean? Was the way he was acting mean something specific? 

He feels like he blinks and thirty minutes go by. And in that past thirty minutes, Jaebeom had somehow managed to drink 6 of Mark’s “negronis.” He felt like his head was beginning to get dizzy. It wasn’t often that Jaebeom found himself drunk on the verge of drunkenness due to alcohol not affecting him as much as humans. To even remotely get to that state, he had to drink a lot and it had to be strong. 

“You feeling it Jaebeom?” Through the darkness and the haze of the alcohol, Jaebeom could barely make out the hint of the smile playing on Jinyoung’s face. He had switched to a glass of wine at some point while Jaebeom was binge drinking which had to be the most Jinyoung thing ever. Who drinks a glass of wine in a dark, sweaty club? 

He’s afraid to answer him verbally which would give his friend an obvious sign of how he was feeling. So instead he just shrugged – as usual. 

“Dude let’s get out there!” The youngest shouted, motioning his hands to the middle of the club, “dance… maybe find you a girl?” 

Jaebeom watched the people pressing up against each other on the dancefloor, moving their bodies, and drinking like their lives depended on it. He wondered if he wanted to be a part of that. Everyone out there was so full of life and vigor… he just wasn’t. He also didn’t know if he was that drunk, but bless Bambam because he didn’t need alcohol to be out there. 

For what feels like the millionth time, his mind drifted to you. Was this your kind of place? Would you come here? If you did would you come alone? With friends? Someone else? You didn’t seem like the type of person who would like this place. You seemed more like him – the observant, calm, inquisitive type who would much rather be at home with a book than at a party. 

Then for a moment, he can picture it. It’s almost like he’s in a trance – an image of you curled up on a couch – his couch – under a large white cable knit blanket fills his mind. Rather than reading, your painting with watercolors – the kind that seems to be in every elementary school classroom – and he hears a voice out of view. His voice.

“Painting really?”  

Jaebeom sees you glance up from your painting to look at him, smiling.

“Looks like I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands so… might as well get good at something.” 

Jaebeom hears himself laugh, “Okay but watercolors?” 

He feels like he’s going to pass out when he finally hears it – your laugh. 

“Let the artist work Im Jaebeom! She needs to get good enough to live off auction house money once her paintings get sold! Shh!” Despite your words, you smiled and suddenly moved the tools away from you onto the coffee table. You lifted half the blanket off of you and patted the space of the couch beside you, “you know I can’t say no when you give me that face. Come here.”

And just like that, the vision is gone. Jaebeom feels confused because it didn’t feel like a dream or fantasy, but it felt real… it felt like a memory. 

“Hello, Earth to Jaebeom?” 

Right… dancing. Maybe dancing would help him forget whatever game his mind was playing on him.

“Yeah let’s fucking go.” 

Another instance occurs where Jaebeom blinks and everything moves so fast. Suddenly he’s no longer sat at the table with Bambam and Jinyoung, but instead in the middle of that mess on the dancefloor with everyone else. He almost feels like one of them. He almost feels human again. But as soon as that feeling washes over him, it quickly dissipates. 

He knows it must be the drinks doing all the work, because otherwise, he would have never found himself in the middle of all these people, thinking that dancing is a good idea. Dancing had never done anything remotely good for him before, so why now? To help forget? Was it going to help him do that? 

“I swear it’s like he’s not even here.” 

Jaebeom tuned back into the moment, and it’s when he realizes that Jinyoung and Bambam have been trying to get his attention this entire time.

“Sorry I was just- the alcohol you know…” He says it so quietly that he knows his friends won’t be able to hear him over the music and the millions of conversations happening around them. But he thinks that maybe it’s better that way and that it truly doesn’t matter what he says.

Jinyoung comes closer to Jaebeom, until his mouth is right next to his ear, “we were just asking if there’s anyone that you’re interested in.” 

They’re still on this idea? Jaebeom asked himself. 

Even in his drunken state, he didn’t think that finding some random girl to fuck was going to help with the emptiness he’s been feeling lately, but for the first time since getting up and onto the dance floor he takes in the people around him. As depressing as it was to observe, most people were here with someone else. 

It’s then his gaze falls onto a couple that stands far on the left side of the floor, behind where Jinyoung is standing. The two of them have their fronts pressed up against each other, dancing so closely with arms exploring one another’s bodies. The female has her head resting on the male’s shoulder as if she’s too exhausted to keep going, but can’t dare to part with him. It’s like they’re part of each other and any distance would cause them to lose all sense of themselves.

The girl lifts her head off the male’s shoulder and gives him this look that makes Jaebeom’s heart – if it was still beating – ache. She says something to him and he nodded happily in response. Even through the dim lights and large crowd, Jaebeom could see the sharp teeth inside her mouth.

She placed her head back against his shoulder, this time, however, the male had his head angled back, stretching out his neck. The girl moves in closer until her mouth just ghosts over the skin, breathing on it until the boy shuts his eyes awaiting the sting and pleasure that will come next.

Biting down against his flesh, breaking skin, the girl drinks from her partner. Even though he’s at a distance from them, Jaebeom can tell by the look on the man’s face that he’s enjoying being fed on and that it certainly isn’t his first time. 

He feels like his eyes are frozen on the couple. It’s been so long since he fed off someone instead of the stuff that he gets from his connection at the hospital. Jaebeom tries not to think about the way his fingertips tingle and his throat dries up at the thought of drinking from a warm body. The alcohol has only dehydrated him and made him feel even more thirsty – he’s afraid that going back to the bar and asking Mark for a glass of O negative exclusively isn’t going to make that go away. 

After a moment or two, the girl removes her mouth from the boy’s neck and drags her tongue over the spot where she had drawn blood from, ultimately covering the wound and signaling that she was done drinking. 

He thinks of how risky it is to do that at a place like this. Although half of the people around them also take part in the activity of drinking blooding and granted most of them aren’t paying attention to those around them – there are still unsuspecting humans everywhere. If one wrong person were to see then that could be it for this club being a haven for the vampire community in the city and that would probably be… it for vampires in this city in general. 

But who was he kidding? He was being a hypocrite because he’s for sure done the same thing. 

You’ve once again entered his mind. However, this time it isn’t an image, picture, or vision that occupies his thoughts, but instead just the idea of how you would react to who he is, what he really is. Throughout his time that he’s been undead he’s only done the “reveal” to a handful of people and even then, it took him a long time to get there. Well except for one person who ultimately was a mistake and his friends hadn’t hesitated to let him know.

With you, Jaebeom felt that you wouldn’t be the kind of person to judge him instantly based on what he was. You would be shocked of course, maybe even scared, but you wouldn’t let that cloud your judgment. You wouldn’t let yourself reject something just because it was unfamiliar. 

What the fuck was he on about? 

It must be the alcohol doing this to him. He would have to thank Mark for making them strong this time around, but also make a mental note to never let this happen again. Jaebeom was already a deeper thinker, but this was getting out of hand.

There’s a sudden grasp of Jaebeom’s elbow and he feels himself jump at the sudden touch. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized it wasn’t one of his friends considering Bambam and Jinyoung were both dancing over to his right side. 

When he turned around to greet the person who had grabbed him, he was disappointed, surprised, and annoyed all in one. It was the last person he had expected to see her, except not really because it made perfect sense. 

“Jaebeom… hi.” Ara smiled shyly at him, tucking a string of hair behind her ear and slightly looking down at the ground. He wants to groan because he knows she’s doing this because he had once mentioned that he thought it was hot when she looked innocent. He shouldn’t have ever said that.

He’s not sure what to say, because what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been trying to avoid for the past year and a half? Jaebeom had said everything he had wanted to say to her. 

At one point in his life, he had been stupid. He had been stupid and he had abused the power that had been bestowed upon him since the day he had been turned. Perhaps one would assume that he’d been foolish with his ability just at the start – 100, maybe even 150 years ago. Instead, Jaebeom had gone through a rough patch about a year or two ago. 

The overwhelming pressure of finding his mate had started to get to him again. All he needed was someone, anyone to break the hypnotic trance and that was it. A task that seemed so simple, yet never came. So, Jaebeom had used hypnotism to his advantage, getting as many girls as he could in his bed in the shortest amount of time possible. He wasn’t proud of it and it was something he would constantly regret as long as he was ali- around. 

One of those girls… had been Ara. 

Jaebeom felt relieved when she didn’t wait for him to answer back at her greeting, “How are you? I-It’s your birthday, right? How old are you turning again? 27?” She winked immediately after her question and he wants to roll his eyes.

She was the mistake by the way. The mistake that knew about who he was. 

He doesn’t even remember how it happened, how his secret slipped, or what the circumstances of her finding out was. Part of him thinks he was just horny, thirsty, and weak, but she found out and she… loved it. 

Weirdly enough, Ara loved the idea of him being a vampire and his “lifestyle” which at first Jaebeom didn’t think too much about. He thought okay she’s taking this extremely well… better than anyone else I’ve ever told, but whatever, but then it became strange. 

She was what those in the vampire community call a “vampire fetishizer.”

He coughed awkwardly, his gaze wandering over to Jinyoung and Bambam, hoping they would catch sight of him stuck with Ara and come rescue him. Jaebeom wasn’t that lucky though, not even on his birthday, “Yeah… 27.” 

Jaebeom can’t help but look at her neck. It’s fully on display and it was clear that Ara had come here to find someone to feed on her. He had been the one to show Ara this place before he had been clued into her little… vampire obsession. 

“Well did the birthday boy get everything he wants today?” She smiled and gave Jaebeom those eyes. He feels his cock twitch in his pants and he realizes he has to keep himself in check because he’s not that weak tonight… right? 

His eyes flash to her neck again and Jaebeom feels his throat get even drier. He was so thirsty and he knows Ara would be so willing. 

No Jaebeom… No. 

“I-I uh yeah… you know got- yeah today’s been good,” he stuttered awkwardly, bringing his tongue out to wet his dry lips. Judging on the look on Ara’s face, she’s taken the action the wrong way. 

“You look thirsty Jaebeom… do you want a drink?” 

He knows what she means and Jaebeom swallows hard in an attempt to distract himself, to remind himself that he’s not that thirsty. He doesn’t need it that bad.

“I-I think I am.” 

The words come out faster than his brain can process to stop them and the part of Jaebeom that’s coherent, sharp, and aware wants to punch the weak and drunk Jaebeom in the face. 

Without a word, Ara turned from Jaebeom and began walking to one of the exits at the side of the club. He feels like he’s the one in a trance, mindlessly following her through the people, not even hearing Jinyoung and Bambam calling out to him. The only thing that Jaebeom makes note of as he follows her is Mark’s face behind the bar, giving him a tight smile. It almost stops Jaebeom. Almost. 

When they finally get outside through the exit door, they find themselves in a small alley between the club and a dry cleaner. 

Jaebeom doesn’t even get a moment to think before Ara is pushing him against the wall of the dry cleaner, her hands roaming up and down his body, her lips going to his own. They’re pressed up against each other so closely that he recalls the couple he had watched earlier. He feels sick comparing this moment now to the two of them. 

“Fuck I missed you so much,” Ara sighed seductively into this ear, making Jaebeom’s stomach churn further at her clear longing for him. Well not him, but the vampire part of him.

“Please, I need it,” she mewled. At her words, he almost puts a stop to this whole thing and has to question whether this is the right thing to do. Jaebeom wonders if this is old Jaebeom behavior – the one that just used women and threw them away later like toys, but then he remembers that this is Ara. She’s using him as well. 

It’s almost as though that old, cocky, snide Jaebeom appears out of nowhere as he says his next words and brings himself closer to her neck, “do you really need it?” 

“Yes, Jaebeom I do, please.” Ara already sounds so desperate and he’s barely done anything. He can’t help but smirk at her reaction.

“Then I guess I better give it to you then.” 

He’s about to do it. He’s about to bite down and finally relieve his thirst, his craving, but then he looks to the side of the alley – towards the street. He feels like he’s seeing things again like he’s in the middle of a hallucination or mirage. That thought is pushed away when he locks eyes with you. 

“Don’t mind me,” you placed your hands up in front of yourself, to show him you’re not eavesdropping. Your action frustrated you because it would have been much better to say nothing, but you felt yourself panic. The prolonged eye contact with him while he’s just seconds away from pressing down – bitting down? – on the girl’s next for some reason pushed you into defensive mode. Not to mention his eyes… his eyes were – red? 

The girl hadn’t noticed you; you aren’t even sure if she heard you, but she certainly noticed Jaebeom’s stare fixated on you. When she faces you, she wears an unpleasant sneer, clearly annoyed by your interruption of whatever this was. 

“Can you go?” She said, the agitation in her voice more than apparent. 

Rather than immediately leave the scene, you continued to stare at Jaebeom. It’s difficult to say why you decided to walk this specific way home despite it being so late and dark out, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but be pulled in this direction. You weren’t someone who believed in signs or fate, but it felt so wrong to go any other way tonight. That was another thing, you felt this kink in your neck that practically forced you or taunted you into looking down the alley between this dry cleaners and club. It was yet another thing about today that felt unexplainable to you as you certainly weren’t expecting the birthday boy from the café today to be in a compromising position with some girl. 

After a moment of more uncomfortable staring – something else that had happened at the café today with him – Jaebeom breaks your gaze and looks down at his feet. The eye roll and acrid look on the girl’s face don’t go unnoticed by you. 

You shouldn’t be here. 

“S-Sorry. I’ll just get going then,” you concluded, unsure why you felt an uncomfortable sickness spread throughout the entirety of your body. 

You barely knew this guy – all you really knew was that today was his birthday and that he was friends with Minji’s boyfriend. Basically nothing. Yet now and even earlier back at the café you had felt this weird sensation within yourself. Not even when you looked at him, but just being in the same presence. It had been so hard to focus on making coffee today when he was seated across the room. Every part of your body just wanted to get closer, gravitate towards him. It was fucking weird… and scary. 

The girl nodded as if to signal “yeah about time,” at the announcement of your departure. Jaebeom on the other hand, still had his eyes glued to the ground as if looking at you once again will cause him some kind of pain.

Just as you’re about to continue your trip back home, you stop yourself and look back at the couple in the alley. 

“Happy birthday by the way…” you paused wondering if it would be weird to say his name considering he doesn’t even know yours, but you shove the thought out of your mind, “Jaebeom…”    

Hearing you say his name causes that tingling feeling in his fingertips to come back and his entire mind is sent into a frenzy. He feels too awkward, too shy to look at you again, but a sudden thought washed over him. What if earlier was a mistake? What if you are his mate? With the way he was currently feeling just at you saying his name, the visions he had in the club and the nonstop place you know had in his mind, it was difficult to believe that you weren’t his mate. 

Bambam and Jinyoung had found it difficult to explain to him what it felt like to find your mate, but surely what he felt right now wasn’t normal behavior or feelings. Unless he was a psychopath. 

Tightly shutting his eyes and drawing together all his strength, Jaebeom aims to try once again to see if you can break the hypnotic trance, unaffected by his abilities. However, as soon as he’s finally ready, head turned up to face you – you’re gone. You didn’t wait for him to respond to the happy birthday message. Instead, you simply left not wanting to be a burden or troublesome to whatever it was those two were doing in that alley. 

“Thank fucking god, let’s get back to it,” Ara concluded with a final roll of her eyes, gripping Jaebeom’s shoulders to get him close to her once again. He stares at her neck, but this time he doesn’t feel anything. He no longer feels thirsty and his appetite is gone. 

Jaebeom shrugs her off slightly. The encounter with you has caused him to wake up and realize what a bad idea it would be to do this right now. He hopes that Ara won’t put up a fight – he doesn’t want to have to hypnotize her if he doesn’t need to. 

At his actions, Ara takes a step away in disbelief, as if she actually can’t believe that Jaebeom is changing his mind and no longer wants her, “are you serious?” 

He doesn’t say anything but instead avoids eye contact with her just as he had done for you. 

Snorting, she glared at him, “Fine. Whatever. I don’t fucking care. I can find someone else to feed off of me. Yours never felt that good anyway. Asshole.”

Just like that, she’s out of his life once again and Jaebeom can’t help but feel thankful. He should have never been weak enough to be dragged out by here anyway. He had just been consumed by thoughts of you, alcohol, and the couple on the dancefloor. Then again, not coming out here would have robbed him of the opportunity of seeing you again and finding out that you actually knew his name. 

That’s when it dawned on him. 

Fuck… how much had you seen? What did you see? 

Jaebeom realized that he might have some explaining to do

[tiktaalic]

haunted impala anon here with Further Thoughts: several fun scenarios are possible.

1) Mary has a v limited ability to manifest/be perceived so 90% of her influence is via whispered parenting/parenting advice when someone falls asleep in the car. OR

2) she IS easily perceived and now the show is a very dark comedy about a deeply dysfunctional couple on a road trip. Mary WILL parent her children and it WILL be the last thing she ever does whether john likes it or not. in this version when john gives dean the car he understands this to mean that his parents are getting a divorce.

okay, 1: YEAH cosigned a tenuous hold on this world means she’s just whispering john i’ll fucking kill you this is your wife and i’ll fucking kill you if you leave our sons aged 8 and 4 alone in a hotel for a week. @tiarnanafainne threw out the concept that sam’s latent psychicness would make it so he’s the one with the strongest connection to mary/can hear her the most/best which is so. h. pov you are dean winchester and you miss your mom so much and your baby brother basically never met her but tells you that she tells sam she loves him every night and will take care of him and tells him about the good memories she has of their family and you’re like shut UP all that’s fake you didn’t know mom I’M the one who knew mom and then 30 years later your mom comes back and turns out that it wasn’t all fake and sam did get doted on as the favorite because he could hear her. scenes that would make “mom i need you to see me” even more unbearable to think about. 

2: SCREAM. she took my car in the divorce really truly

[after-witch]

(Horrorfest) ‘Don’t Fall Asleep’ Dream Demon Dabi x Reader

Title: Don’t Fall Asleep (Dream Demon Dabi x Reader)

Synopsis: Inspired by A Nightmare on Elm Street. ‘Whatever you do... don’t. fall. asleep.’

Word Count:

Notes: Kinda-yandere, horror, violence, implied assault

You nervously chew on your bottom lip. You hate this habit, because you think it makes you look like a ridiculous schoolgirl. It reminds you of the many pasts that you left behind, the old versions of yourself that you shed like old coats when you first started college, then again when you graduated, and once more when you moved to  a new city. Always running, always on the move, at least until meeting actual friends and landing an almost fulfilling job in a city thriving with life and culture made you set down roots.

Roots which were currently threatening to wear thin, to rot and mold underneath your feet. All because of your dreams... all because of Dabi. 

“(Y/N)?”

You look up, and realize your friend had stopped talking a while ago. What was she saying before? Something about her job and--

“Are you okay?” Her tone is more annoyed than concerned, but you can’t exactly blame her. You’ve been drifting off so often lately, finding it hard to focus at work, at home, and even with your closest friends.

“Sorry,” you spit out. “I’m just--” You want to tell her, but you’ve told her before, and you knew she didn’t want to hear it. Not after the bad dreams had stopped for a while and everyone went back to a nervous, egg-shell type of normality.

They were so worried about you, but you were better now, so everyone was relieved; there were no more frustrated group calls and secret group chats where you were left out of events because no one wanted you to nod off and wake up screaming in the middle of a board game session.

You sigh and play with your ponytail. “Really stressed with work,” you finish, lying through your teeth. A look at your friend makes your stomach drop. She knows you’re lying. She’s going to make you tell her everything and--

“Oh,” she says. “No worries. So anyway, like I was saying…”

Her words feel muted as she repeats whatever story she’d been telling. She knows you’re lying, you think, she knows the dreams are back and you’re terrified and alone and--she doesn’t want to hear it.

You nod occasionally while she speaks, keeping up the pretense of conversation in the hopes that it will help you stay awake.

**

If someone were to hack into your phone, they wouldn’t find anything very strange. Unless they wandered into your alarms and wondered why in the hell anyone needed alarms set every 30 minutes or so.

The alarms are your saving grace. You started setting them when you realized that you could get sleep.. you just had to be careful not to sleep enough to dream. Experts said it took an hour or 90 minutes to dream, but experts weren’t being chased by some terrifying monster every time their brain decided to shift into REM, so experts could stuff it.

Truthfully, you feel proud of yourself for thinking of the idea in the first place. You weren’t going to let that bastard and his dreams keep you from sleep--no, you’d get sleep and keep him from you. Ha-ha, two birds, one stone--and one infinitely wise (Y/N).

Tonight, you decided that you’re going to get a few naps in before the sun rises; you have an important meeting at work tomorrow and the naps will help you brain feel a little refreshed. You still felt foggy, but nap after nap was better than no sleep at all. So you make your bed, cozy but not too cozy, double check your alarms, double check the sound on your phone, and fluff your pillow. Your eyes close easily and it’s not long before your conscious thought slips away.

You jerk awake, sudden and harsh, to the the sound of an obnoxious unknown ringtone you’d selected solely for its ability to annoy the fuck out of you. It was a true, cobbled together shitshow of a tune that you loved to hear, because it meant another successful nap.

You check a text message on your phone, then look over at your cheap dimestore clock you’d pinned to the wall, before glancing in the mirror. Check, check, and check. Everything was normal. Your phone worked right, the clock was working, and you could see your own reflection. You weren’t dreaming.

Your stomach grumbled. You hadn’t eaten since that afternoon--catching up on late work earlier had left you frazzled and you worked right through dinnertime just to make your extended (and oh so late) deadline. 

It was too late to order in, but you did have a frozen pizza somewhere in the back of the freezer. Happily, you got out of bed, pulled on your warm robe, and walked out of your bedroom into an dingy boiler room with peeling concrete walls and a roaring furnace making the floor and walls and air heavy with heat.

Wait.

Your heart pounds ferociously as you spin back, reaching helplessly for a bedroom doorknob that isn’t there. No, no no no--

“Did you have a good nap, (Y/N)? Did you get some sweet shut-eye?” The voice is taunting and cruel and absolutely terrifying. You screw your eyes shut and repeat the mantra you’d drilled into your head: “I am dreaming. I recognize that I am dreaming. And I want to wake up. I am going to wake up. I am going to--”

A voice, harsh, low, and right in your ear:

“That’s not going to work, you dumb bitch.”

The whimper that leaves your lips is unlike any noise you’ve made before. Helpless and hopeless, like an animal caught in a trap. Tears are streaming down your face as your force yourself to open your eyes, coming face to face with your tormentor. Dabi. The name and face that was etched into your memory from the first time you’d dreamt of him, years ago, when your life still felt normal and sane.

His face is partially scarred, and you cringe at the sight of bright, silver rings lining his eyes and cheeks; with Dabi this close, they practically glinted.

“IwantowakeupIwantowakeupIwanttowakeup--”

His hands are suddenly on you, harsh and hot and burning you as he shoves you against the wall. Your back collides with the concrete and you cry out at the searing pain that shoots through your legs.

“You’re not going to wake up. At least not for a while.” His grin is practically feral as he brings up one of his scarred hands to your cheeks, stroking it with a deceptive gentleness. “You’ve been asleep since this afternoon. Poor little (Y/N) fell asleep at her desk…”

You shake your head rapidly. “No--no, I set my alarms, I’ve been up, I, I--”

The slap to your face is sharp, light, and humiliating. “I-I-I,” he says, mocking and cruel. “Nah, sweetheart. I tricked you good though, didn’t I? Let you think you actually got something done for once, let you think you weren’t a total fucking failure.” 

He leans in close, practically whispering; his breath is acrid, like smoke, and his entire presence radiates an uncomfortable heat. “Can’t say I’m going to be as nice later on, though…”

You jerk your shoulders, a pitiful struggle makes him smile for a moment, but when you don’t stop trying to get out of his grip he pulls you forward and slams you back into the wall. Instead of hitting heavy concrete you feel yourself falling, falling--then landing with a surprising bounce on something soft.

You look to the side and see you’re on a mattress. Dabi is above you, both arms pinning your shoulders down with a firm force. He leans in close, as if to kiss you. Your entire being lurches at the thought.

“No!” You say, kicking your legs. “Get--get off, don’t--”

Dabi chuckles and pulls his face back. “Don’t worry, I’m not that fast. You’re not here for that, yet.”

You stare up at him. Your body feels numb, tingling in fear. You finally manage to whisper out: “Then what do you want?”

He tilts his head slightly before his eyes roam up and down your prone form. His gaze lands on your chest. His hands press on your shoulders and you can feel stinging, like running your hands under hot water in the kitchen sink.

“We’re going to play first.”

**

You wake up at your desk, your real desk, your real home. Your entire body aches as you force yourself to move, to jump around, wave your arms, as the tears blur your vision nearly entirely. You do your checks but realize it could be another trick, it could be--but Dabi would never have let you go, not at the moment when you finally pulled yourself out of the dream.

Suddenly, the elation at being awake, at being free, at being alive turns into searing pain; your chest hurts, it hurts so bad. You pull your shirt down--and scream.

You think, faintly, vaguely, wildly, as you call for an ambulance: well, at least they’re second-degree burns. I can still feel the pain.

**

You turn off the cold shower tap, trembling and shivering in the frigid air. They were brutal and sometimes painful, but they kept you awake, and that’s all that mattered. You quickly dry yourself off and slip into a thin nightgown before grabbing your toothbrush.

The bathroom mirror has never been a more unwelcome sight, but you force yourself to stare into it, to stare into your own, tired eyes. You look sick. You look older. You’re so sleep deprived that you honestly, truly think you might die from it. 

But you know that won’t happen, not really--because Dabi would certainly kill you before the sleep deprivation could. And his version of your death would not be nearly as merciful. If he would even kill you at all. Could you keep you forever, dead or alive, but dreaming all the same?

The thick burn scar running across your chest aches as you considered it.

You grab another handful of caffeine pills and swallow them, hard and bitter, chasing them with a chug from your lukewarm energy drink. God willing, you won’t sleep… at least not tonight.

[theravennest]

Let’s Talk: The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion

I finished all 40 eps about two weeks ago, actually. I enjoyed it for the most part, the 1st half especially, but there were several things near the end that took me out. 

But first some of the good bits...

The cast chemistry was immaculate. Our four main lead actors were a lot of fun together. Not just Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi, but also Wang You Shuo and Xu Jiaqi (Loved them!). The four of them have such obvious ease with each other after their previous work together in Legend of Yun Xi and it made scenes with any combination of the main four really pop. 

I was especially drawn to the sisters’ relationship and the Prince-Vassal bond going on between Prince Su and Little Marquis. (Y’all know I’m a sucker for both sibling stories and stories about fictional royals and their loyal vassals.)

Most of the ancillary characters were interesting, actually. As y’all know from my last post about this one, I was crack shipping like crazy all the side characters. 😂 This cast made it easy for me.

Except for Prince An. (Sorry to hit the bad so early.) Good god, I hated that man. His character was poorly drawn in pretty much every way, which is unfortunate cuz he’s the main antagonist. Any story with a main antagonist that just doesn’t work is always gonna be weaker.

Also, no offense to people who like that actor but he was the only cast member who did absolutely nothing for me in terms of performance. So much of the story was focused on his weaksauce motivation and dry acting like, my god, put me out of my misery I do not care.

Anyway, the set design and costuming was top notch and I even enjoyed the broader story ideas the show was trying to put forth. The sitcom vibe of the first 20 eps or so was SOOO good. Our four mains’ comedic timings were pitch perfect. 

Unfortunately, the writing took a sharp nosedive in the back 3rd or so and it had a rough ending. (The lightning strike on the tower scene, the fight in the underground temple, the return of Prince An’s mom...all of that was trash. let’s be real.)

I mostly blame this on three things: the missteps with the Prince An character, the lack of development of Rong’s prophetic dreams even though that was the main premise of the show, and the jump-the-shark moment that was the wedding night and its subsequently underwritten fallout. 

Now to clarify, I don’t mean to say the wedding night event shouldn’t have happened at all but rather the execution of it within the story was poor and it negatively impacted 90% of the other character motivations/progressions and the overall pacing. 

You know, it felt like that thing you do as a writer where you wake up and have a specific scene in your mind. It’s evocative, impactful, fun, or otherwise intense. But you just have that scene and it’s something that would have to happen in the middle of your story. So you work your way backwards to try to get to that scene and you do your best to get the characters to make decisions to get there but when you sit down to write nothing works out. It’s clunky or OOC for the scene to still happen so you end up having to either scrap the evocative scene or keep the clunky lead up and hope no one notices. That’s what that wedding scene and everything that happened after felt like. They wrote themselves into a corner and just struggled to recover until the bitter end. 

The main pairing suffered the most because of the poor writing choices. No matter how much chemistry ZZH and JJY have together, even they could not completely salvage Rong’s yo-yoing behavior with Prince Su. They started off so wholesome and then dove into such toxicity and miscommunication for no reason. 

Don’t get me wrong. I can very easily enjoy angst. But Fu Rong consistently broke this man down. After ep 25-26, it stopped being good angst and became so awful to watch all the emotional manipulation and turmoil. There’s something broken in the writing if 9 out of 10 times Prince Su cried or fell into depression it was because of something Rong did or said to him after jumping to a conclusion with only part of the puzzle pieces gathered. 

I could forgive some stuff because Prince An was manipulating things but some stuff was just all Rong not giving Prince Su the benefit of the doubt or plain old not doing her due diligence in investigating. She is supposed to have inherited the most prolific and successful spy organization in the show and she still got 90% of her conclusions wrong. It was like she was determined to always think the worst of Prince Su no matter what despite how often he went above and beyond to help her. Despite the fact that he literally had a reputation as a general for being a harsh taskmaster but fair and just. 

I think what broke me was when she did the bare minimum investigation into her own father’s death and just fully blamed Prince Su without confronting him honestly or even considering his personality or their relationship up until that point. She really believed a single street seller’s entire testimony over the man she lived with and supposedly loved for months. Girl...

And this is after she’d previously mistakenly accused him of killing her mentor with very few facts to the point where she stabbed him on their wedding night.

There came a point where I actually wanted Prince Su to finally, truly divorce Rong and settle down with someone who could love him right. Maybe give him time to heal from the repeated heartbreaks, betrayals, and the literal stab wound in his chest but he was so fucking in love with Rong, he just couldn’t escape.

(If there were behind the scenes production reasons for the clunky-ness of the back half, I would not be surprised at all but ultimately they don’t matter cuz the story we got was the story we got.)

Imagine if we had gotten a Rong who used her prophetic dreams to navigate the cut throat world of royal politics. Or imagine if we’d gotten Rong as a true apprentice to Ruyi who learned both metalsmithing and spycraft in the first half and took over the pavilion as a competent leader in the second half. As it stands, it just felt like wasted potential.

I’m glad they had the modern day special AU eps tho cuz those were great. Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi had the opportunity to really showcase their incredible chemistry but in a modern setting and with better writing than the back 3rd of BRYP.

Now let’s talk Zhang Zhehan since he was the reason I started this in the first place. I loved him in this. I truly did. He was stern and serious but also playful and sweet. He was romantic but awkward, badass but vulnerable. He really delivered a nuanced and charming performance. I loved every second.

I think my favorite moment wasn’t some badass fight or even a super romantic moment. No, it was when he got drunk and started crying like a little baby cuz Rong was constantly doubting him no matter what he did. It was simultaneously sad and hilarious. Like gut busting funny. Y’all can watch it here:

I laughed so fucking hard at this. Oh my god, guys! This shit was too much.

Random Thoughts:

The romance between the 2nd leads was A+. Truly an adorable affair. Though I think they should’ve gotten together officially earlier around ep 25 or so and we should’ve seen the rest with them as a couple.

The costuming was so good y’all. For all the main four characters but I was especially drawn to Prince Su’s outfits.

The ghostly pale look with the bright red lips and eyeshadow makeup for Rong did not bother me at all. I actually liked it for her though I think it would’ve worked better if she’d had more explicit prophetic abilities.

I could’ve used more actual war scenes with Prince Su and Little Marquis.

The OST for the show SLAPPED!

That one kid spy in Ruyi Pavilion was voiced by the same actor as Chengling from WOH and I have never double-taked harder. lmao

Even though there were things I didn’t like in this show, I appreciated how gay I could make it in my last post. Truly it was a bisexual’s dream aesthetically.

[bigskydreaming]

I’d say the thing about some characters lending themselves better to some stories than others actually can apply to the Batfam as well, and is a sign of how well-developed they actually are. I know I’ve ranted in the past about the tendency to try and fit the Batkids into niches like the smart one and the angry one and all of that, but in terms of story TYPES, I think they do have certain niche-like feels that mean some of them are better suited to certain GENRES of story than others.

For instance....I didn’t love Grayson, but that was more due to the overshadowing circumstances and the fact that I just think King and his writing suck. A lot. But the basic premise was not at all out of Dick’s wheelhouse. He IS well predisposed to kinda globe-trotting, spy versus spy, switching disguises like they’re outfits, making the most out of his ability to make friends everywhere he goes and turn enemies into allies.....those types of stories. Not saying these should be his only stories, by any means, or that he can’t center in all kinds of other types of stories, but I’m just saying, these kinds of stories do have more of a Dick Grayson feel than they do various other Batkids.

Similarly, Jason is better suited to gothic horror types of stories than the others, just in general. His history with the Lazarus Pit, his general disposition, his THEMES, like....they speak to the same kind of aims and tones that gothic horror both births from and embodies.

This might just be me, but to me, Tim is best suited to kinda oddball, off the wall sorta stories, and that’s part of why I’m so meh on him just being shelved into the uber-genius, mini-Bruce, heir to the best detective mantle kinda thing. I’ve spoken before about how much I miss 90s Tim, but to me, Tim was always at his best, and at his best-defined, most feeling like uniquely HIM, when he was playing the underdog. When he was just this well-intentioned kid who plunged into this world that was so much larger than viewing it through his camera lens had prepared him for, but he had spunk and determination and he wasn’t about to back down or let anyone think he was in over his head so he was gonna make it through whatever the superhero life threw at him even if flying by the seat of his pants the whole way. So to that end, I mean, I think Tim is at his best when just dealing with totally WTF kinds of stories. The cross-dimensional capers, the time travel mishaps, the ‘great, I was abducted by aliens on my lunch break and now apparently I have to save planet FUBAR with nothing but my pocket knife and scathing dry wit.’

I would fucking kill for Cass at the center of noir type stories where its like, idk, the Maltese Falcon and she’s the jaded but still optimistic-at-her-core PI when trouble walks into her derelict office wrapped up in an eggplant shawl and the name Stephanie. Maybe its just that I don’t think there’s enough focus on the fact that Cass is SMART and she’s as much a detective as any of the family, does plenty of investigative work and if she’s heir to the cowl she’d be just as good at the mystery side of things as Bruce is, but just......noir stories just FEEL like dappled shadows and eerie shades of blue and black with hints of moonlight spilling through slatted blinds and all of that just screams Cass to me, faint notes of jazz in the background, a wry smile on her lips as she plays her informant like a fiddle when chasing down clues.

Duke is another globe-trotter in feel to me, like his backstory and his family and his stories with the Outsiders, like, I really want to see Duke on more superhero teams than just the Outsiders now that that’s over, because he’s better suited to stories not confined just to Gotham, I think? Like, Duke fits the conspiracy theory chasing niche to me, like, his character really comes to life when pursuing leads all across the world, digging into his past, his family’s past, seeing how it all connects to various mysteries of the DC Earth that are generations old but still affect the present....like I don’t know how many people have read Planetary, but that to me is a PERFECT fit for Duke, and I would love to see him with his own Planetary style team or even just part of one.

Damian is best suited to coming of age stories, which sounds vague, but the thing is, it really is its own genre. So much of Damian’s character, the best parts I think, are about Damian FINDING himself, DEFINING himself......he more than any of the others, debuted so clearly defined by his origins, his parents, who he was CREATED to be.....and so he more than anyone else is perfectly poised to star in stories that are all about him breaking away from that mold, from parental expectations or preplanned destinies, or even just searching for things to define him on his own terms rather than through the eyes of others. Stories that are about choosing your own path, making a self-realization or having an epiphany about who you truly are or what you want to do with your life....that to me, is Damian’s best niche. Again, doesn’t mean that other characters can’t be great in these kinds of stories as well, just that if I’m pairing one character to one genre they lean into best, this is what’s that for Damian, IMO.

Steph is a bit of an oddball for me, and I don’t quite know how to describe this, but she’s best suited IMO to those kinds of stories that like......there’s not really a specific NAME for this type, but you know them when you see them. The best comparison I can think to make is like.....the kinds of stories Harley Quinn stars in? To be clear, I’m not drawing parallels between Steph or Harley or saying they’re the same kind of character at ALL, I’m just saying like.....Harley is another character who overall is very hard to pin down in specific concrete terms, but nevertheless is centered in various stories and adaptations that are nevertheless very clearly HER.....and that’s the kind of thing I picture for Steph. She fits that niche that isn’t really a niche for anyone BUT her, because nobody else can summon that type of feel for it......the kind of story that you can’t switch anybody else in for her because the story only works with her specific kinda....energy. Bleh. I really wish I could describe it better, like its very clear in my brain, but its a story that’s more of a kind of FEEL than it is a specific description? If that makes sense like at all? LOLOL. Whatevs.

And Babs, like, I would love love love to see her centered in a proper cyberthriller. I mean, they’ve done stories kinda like that with her as Oracle, but not to the extent I’m thinking. I mean just full on cyberpunk dialed up to 11. Give me Babs enlisted by the JLA because Brainiac is loose in the internet and she has to go into cyberspace utilizing different avatars of herself and calling in allies as needed as she relentlessly hunts a villain through landscapes of data she maps and molds and turns into traps. Babs hyper-fixating on her task, her hunt, to the degree that she has to be reminded to pull herself out at times and take care of her physical needs, has people grounding her so she doesn’t get lost in cyberspace and the lure of it all, this place that’s her domain and where she shines the brightest. And so it balances that razor edge that makes for the best cyberthrillers IMO. The ones where all the possibilities of the future as embodied in technology and cyberspace are balanced with the necessity of remaining human, of being human and with roots and history embedded outside of it, in the real world. And with there being a clear juxtaposition between the two even as the protagonist goes back and forth between the two extremes of their existence, the physical and the ephemeral.

Anyway. Like I said, you can mix and match and its not like Dick can’t star in gothic horror and Jason can’t do off-the-wall dimensional hijinks or noir detective stories and Tim and Cass can’t do coming of age, etc.....its just in terms of what I was talking about, how some characters lend themselves MORE easily to certain kinds of stories than others.....this is how I perceive the various Batkids.

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroes (Updated) by DarkChild316

“Guess who’s back…back again! DarkChild’s back, with 10 more friends!” LOL, sorry for that lame-ass joke, but I was listening to some Eminem earlier today. Anyway, my terrible sense of humor aside, I thought it would be a good time to give my list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Heroes” an update, figured since I did one for the villains I thought shit, might as well do one for the heroes too! Now once again, this list is strictly for the men only, if you want a list of my favorite anime queens, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines”. But in the meantime, enjoy this updated list of my favorite anime heroes:

#10. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia): One of the newest (and quite literally) entries on my list, Deku is a character who dreamed of becoming a hero in spite of being born without a Quirk or any kind of powers in a world dominated by heroes with them. Only to be chosen as successor to the greatest hero of the age, All Might. A humble yet caring fanboy at heart, if All Might represents the Golden Age of heroes, then Deku represents the future of heroes in the Modern Era. He may be a socially awkward cinnamon roll at the best of times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that he’s not willing to stand up and do what’s right when the chips are down and the world needs a hero to stand for, no matter what form of villain is in the way! The only reason he doesn’t rank any higher on this list, is because he’s still relatively new to the scene and time will tell where he stands in the Patheon of anime legends.

#9. Inuyasha (InuYasha): He’s half dog-demon, half human: put it all together and what do you get? A sword-wielding hybrid who knows how to take care of business. Originally wanting nothing more than to become a full demon, his human heart trumped his selfish desires, leading him to fall for the modern-day schoolgirl he vowed to protect. Fighting through feudal Japan to recover fragments of the Sacred Jewel, InuYasha can be both cold and rude, yet heartfelt and compassionate. Plus, he makes us all laugh whenever we see this happen.

#8. Alucard (Hellsing): There have been a shitload of vampires in modern anime, yet all of them owe their debt to this tall, dark, well-dressed man. There has never been a vampire as delightfully sadistic as Alucard but unlike most vampires, there’s a method to his sadism that makes him truly brilliant. He isn’t truly evil, he’s just a monster who revels in destroying other monsters in any sadistic way he sees fit. And he truly revels in it, making his victims (most of which are evil Nazis and powerful demons) believe they actually have a chance by damaging them before regenerating and wrecking them in devastating fashion. This isn’t to say he’s totally heartless though, as he’s shown a great deal of fondness for the members of his team who are just as devoted to ridding the world of the evil forces that threaten it. Even though the anime version of Alucard mentions that he doesn't entirely understand humans anymore, he seems happy to work in the service of them, and to protect them from devils who aren't as honorable as he is.

#7. Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin): When I was a kid, Rurouni Kenshin was my favorite anime growing up and Kenshin was my favorite character. Having had a chance to revisit this anime recently during lockdown reminded me once again why that is, Kenshin is easily the most compelling character I had seen growing up as a kid and he was a refreshing change of pace in the samurai genre. Firstly, he was quite feminine to the point that many mistook him for a woman. He was also one of the politest characters in anime history, frequently putting others before himself and speaking to them with the utmost respect and patience. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy would be better suited as a florist that a samurai. But underneath that smiling exterior hides a dark secret, Kenshin is a man haunted by the demons of his past. A former mercenary who killed countless foes, he makes a vow to never kill again, and is repeatedly tested on that vow time and time again as less virtuous people endanger the country’s peace. When Kenshin's hand is forced, he can go to incredibly dark places and fall back into the habits that made him known far and wide as the most fearsome swordsman in the land. Although Kenshin’s momentary lapses make him a complete badass and set the stage for some of the most epic sword battles ever animated, Kenshin always goes back to his sweet persona once the danger is gone. But in his solitary, quiet moments, he's gripped by his greatest fear; that one day he will permanently revert to his former self and become a manslayer once more.

#6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop): I’ll admit, it had been a long time since I’d seen Cowboy Bebop, so naturally I had forgotten about how cool a character Spike Spiegel was. Thankfully, this pandemic has allowed me to revisit it, and I find myself being just as in awe of Spike as I was when I was kid in the 90’s, he’s that awesome a character folks! Spike was an amalgamation of influences (from Bruce Lee, to Lupin III, and a little dose of film noir), and the result was a creation greater than the sum of its parts. In a series like Cowboy Bebop, which was itself a combination of cultural influences from around the globe, Spike was the essence of the story. Voice actor Steve Blum launched his career into new heights when he gave the performance of a lifetime in the English dub of the series, giving Spike a sense of smooth, effortless cool that many argue surpassed the original Japanese version.

Spike proved to be a versatile character; he was an expert pickpocket, a gearhead who worked on his own spaceship, a clever detective, a badass fighter, and even a bit of a philosopher. But what made Spike most interesting was his past as a gangster, and a man hopelessly in love. His relationship with Julia, and the tragic end of that relationship, haunts him throughout the series and shows us what truly mattered to him all along. When Cowboy Bebop reaches its powerful conclusion, Spike goes out in a blaze of glory that is unmatched in the history of anime (all I have to say is “Bang”).

#5. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach): The first of the shonen “Big 3” to appear on my list, you’d think being born with the ability to see ghosts would be enough, but not for this high-school bruiser. After a fateful encounter with a Shinigami, Ichigo gains the power of a god of death, and is tasked with defending his home from the malicious spirits known as Hollows. As his seemingly endless battle stretches to other planes of existence and some truly frightening enemies, both Quincy and Hollow, this orange-haired swordsman will keep fighting to protect what matters most to him no matter what.

#4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece): The second member of the shonen “Big 3” to make my list, this straw-hatted rubber-man takes my vote for his carefree spirit and his big heart. With the dream of grabbing the title of Pirate King, Luffy is a man who thinks with his stomach and fists rather than his head. Always in the pursuit of adventure, this happy-go-lucky guy may be the last person you consider when you think pirate captain. But you’d be wrong: You mess with Luffy’s crew and he’ll declare war on the entire world to save them.

#3. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto): Talk about a rough childhood. After having a powerful demon sealed inside of him, Naruto was a social outcast in the shinobi village he grew up in; even though people despised him for being the vessel for the Nine-Tailed Fox demon he did not take the darker path in life nor did it deter him from pursing his dream of becoming the village leader to gain the respect and admiration of those who once shunned him. Naruto’s growth as both a ninja and human can be seen throughout the series,  as it was this good nature of his and the will to protect everyone close to him that slowly changed the attitude of people towards him as the bonds of friendship he forges make his dream worth fighting for.

#2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): Wildly ambitious, wickedly smart, and wise beyond his years, Edward Elric entered the stage with a fresh, but interesting take on the modern shonen anime hero. Unlike those who came before him, he wasn’t this lovable idiot with a heart of gold. He was smart, calculating, arrogant, and shrimp sized. But most daring of all was the fact that Edward is technically handicapped, having had both an arm and a leg lost in a tragic accident fueled by love and hubris. In Edward we had a character who unlike most anime heroes was truly multidimensional. He could be comedic and pull off wild takes and sight gags. He could be placed in the most tragic circumstances and portray the deepest kind of sadness. He could be a complete badass, but he could also be the nicest guy on the planet. And most of all we saw Edward discover harsh truths about the world and learn that he didn’t know nearly as much as he thought he did.

#1. Son Goku (Dragon Ball): With the greatest respect to those like Luffy and Naruto, none of those characters would have ever been possible without this man (and the creators of One Piece and Naruto have even admitted this themselves). The prototype for shounen lead characters, Goku was somewhat of an anomaly back in his day. When the plucky, pint-sized kid Goku first appeared in Dragon Ball, the trend for male heroes was to have larger than life muscle heads (which Goku ironically turned into in his adulthood). Goku also grew up; another drastic change in a time when characters rarely changed much. But Dragon Ball Z is where Goku truly earned his fame. Goku isn’t even the most popular character in DBZ sometimes, but he is the foundation of the series. His heroism, strength, and dedication make him the perfect core for a kid’s show where the themes are meant to be pretty simple. He may not be the most complex character in anime history, but he’s perfect for the goal he was meant to accomplish. But Goku isn’t my top hero so much for his character complexity; it’s his influence that cannot be denied. He was, in many ways, a character that bucked the trends of his time and defined the direction of shonen manga/anime for decades, and that's why he's my #1 anime hero of all-time.

So that's my list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroes are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[parasite-core]

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

What influences your character's morality more - their own moral code, or the moral code of the people around them?

Thank you for the ask 😊 I’ll throw in pretty much all my characters into the mix for this one because I love thinking about their morality or lack there of.

Umbrolus: Umber’s moral code is very simple because of his sheltered upbringing. You’re either nice or mean, and either bad or good. You can be mean and good, or nice and bad, but if you’re bad you have to be stopped, and are fair game to be fought against. If you’re good he can work with you and maybe even be friends, even if you’re not always nice (see: Celeste sometimes). If you hurt Kleio, you’re automatically bad. Or his other friends, but Kleio especially. And it is very hard to move from that category in his mind, he holds a grudge. He does tend to look to Kleio for moral guidance to a certain extent because he’s aware he doesn’t really know what’s socially correct in many situations, so he tends to trust their judgement on if someone should be labeled good or bad.

Kaius “Hawke” River: Kaius doesn’t so much care about morality as he does debts. You do something to hurt him or his family, and he’ll hold a grudge and seek vengeance. You do something to help him or his family, and he’ll owe you. Do something to protect his daughter and he’ll lay down his life for you. The closest thing to morality for him outside of that is that he has a soft spot for young people who made bad choices because of their situation in life but who can still turn their lives around. He very much believes in people ability to recreate themselves and to become better, especially young people, and he highly encourages it. As far as who affects his morality...just himself, and maybe his daughter. He’ll definitely try to put a little more effort into doing the ‘right’ thing if she’s around. Usually. Unless he’s teaching her to lie and steal. ‘Because those are useful skills in the real world.’

Roland Terrasold: Roland is pretty set in his ways about his morality, he follows his moral code, which is based on the teaching of Sarenrae, and changing his stance on moral questions is anywhere from difficult to impossible. He believes in redemption, and the ability for anyone who truly wishes to better themselves to do so. He believes a second chance should be offered to those who sincerely seek to atone. He also believes those who do evil gleefully and who can and will never seek to be better deserve to be destroyed before they can do further harm. He believes in protecting the weak and defenseless, and in seeking out evil and corruption and stopping it before it can spread and fester and do more harm. He’s opposed to excessive and gleeful violence, preferring to subdue an enemy or kill them in the most quick and merciful what possible, even if the enemy in question is a particularly vile person. He doesn’t believe in an eye for an eye, vengeance begets more vengeance and doing excessive harm just leads to you being more okay with violence it doesn’t solve any problems or help anyone to be sadistic or take joy in killing. This might have a lot to do with the sort of person his extremely sadistic ex Ashton was. Also due to Valoria’s teachings after Sarenrae’s death, Roland also believes that the use of necromancy is not necessarily evil by default, if used on willing volunteers and towards noble ends.

Kiyo Alvara: Kiyo is extremely set in their way about their morality. Like Roland, they believe in doing the least amount of excessive harm, although unlike Roland they don’t have any qualms about revenge. They don’t believe in harming someone who’s helpless, even if the person in question was a vile person. Although they might make an exception if Rolth Lamm were helpless in front of them. I don’t know if they’d feel bad about it afterwards. That’s pretty personal. They believe in honesty unless a secret or lie is vital to someone’s safety, or the safety of Korvosa as a whole (ie they have no problem with keeping Blackjack’s identity secret since that’s vital to keeping Korvosa safe). They are slow to trust again when their trust has been betrayed, they’ve lived for so long and seen so few people change their innate nature, that it takes a lot for them to believe someone’s changed their ways.

Sai Gwenn: Her morality is extremely black and white, and extremely influenced by Hayden. There are good people and bad people, and the bad people need to be taken care of before they can harm the good people. Failing to get rid of a bad person is itself bad, because it enables bad people to harm more good people. Sometimes good people are in a bad situation which makes them have to do bad things, and those people should be given a second chance to be good in better circumstances. Who is good and who is bad is entirely based on Sai’s perception of them. Her morality is a little fucked up honestly. She’d forgive an assassin despite trying to kill her and her friends because she was conditioned into her position her entire life, but was so angry at a gargoyle for harming her friend that she polymorphed it into a bug and kept it in a jar until her friend was healed, then released it into the wild to inevitably live a short and terrified life trapped in the body of an insect with the mind of an intelligent creature.

Lucien Anasia: Part of me wants to say Lucien doesn’t have a moral code since he decides so much on the flip of a coin due to his worship of luck. But he does have some moral qualms. He believes in helping people suffering in front of him. He believes in sharing, and trying to help people to feel happy, and in leaving people’s lives a little brighter. He wouldn’t feel comfortable doing excessive harm to people, although that’s exactly what his cursed starknife does.

Haruki Himura: Haruki’s morality has been shaken to the core recently. He used to follow the teachings of the Nameless Father, but since being turned into a drow and the Nameless Father turned His back on him, Haruki’s been unmoored. Without something to believe in, he’s pendulum swung in the opposite direction, being willing to assassinate people he doesn’t like, violently slaughter creatures with his crystalline curse, and all around give into his anger and desire to make others hurt the way he currently is. He draws the line at harming innocents. He does harm to those who did harm first. Random civilians deserve to be able to just live their lives.

Khazrae Kulata: Khazrae is an erinyes devil, and as such she doesn’t have much in the way of a moral code. She gets her morality 90% from Maxwell and 10% from the rest of the Shadow Slayers. Her morality typically boils down to ‘if I do this will Maxwell be upset I did’. She sincerely likes the party and she owes them an eternal debt for how they saved her from a millennia of torment, so despite very much being an evil creature by nature, she does sincerely want to do right by them. However since she doesn’t always have a firm grasp on human morality, she does make the wrong call on occasion and does something evil without thinking it’ll be a big deal to everyone else, such as when she helped Claudia to kill a helpless prisoner to help another devil get revenge.

Eccardian Drovenge: Eccardian’s morality is a bit grey at the moment. He spent much of his life manipulated and possessed by his infernal father Mammon, so now that he’s finally free he’s feeling out how he actually feels about things without a literal devil whispering in his ear. He takes a lot of cues from Erik on how to be a better person, and considering whether Erik would be disappointed in a choice does go into his decision making. He’s okay with grave robbing and is gleeful about getting revenge on those who have harmed him. He has no qualms about killing to remove a threat to him and his organization. However he’s not going out of his way to do harm anymore, and is actually trying to funnel his resources into doing good for the city and the country as a whole, to help make things better for tieflings like him and ‘lesser’ citizens as a whole.

Chammady Drovenge: Chammady is a pragmatist. Her morality centers her family—which in this case means her brother and the Shadow Slayers—and anyone outside of them is fair game. She took the lessons of both nobility and the thieves’ guild to heart, and is willing to do what has to be done to protect herself and hers. She is skilled at the double talk of nobility, and the necessary manipulations to navigate politics. She’s good at making others underestimate her, playing the role of vapid noblewoman and leaning into people’s expectations and biases, although she’s done that less since becoming mayor as now she has a position of true power, where a different sort of face is both expected and necessary. Like her brother, she has no qualms about killing those who might obstruct her goals or harm her inner circle. She is fiercely protective of her inner circle.

[unstoppablezombie]

The Last of Us Part II thoughts and opinions

I finished my second playthrough last night. I think I’m ready to finally share what I thought was amazing, my issues with it, and the concerns I have for the future. This post will be lengthy, I understand if you won’t read all of it, but I’m going to try my best to break it up and organize it so if there’s a part you’d want to know if you’d relate to, you can jump to that. But I think it’ll be worth the read, and if you want to discuss how your thoughts are the same or if they differ, I’m open to have a civil discussion about it. These are all 100% my opinions. I highly recommend playing the game start to finish first to form your own opinions as well. There will be spoilers. This is your warning.

What I loved:

Ellie

She deserves her own category. Since the first game I loved her character and my love for her only grew in part II. She is the probably the best and most relatable female protagonist anyone could ask for. At least for me she is. I enjoyed every second I got to play as her. Especially during the birthday flashback and barn scene with Dina and JJ.

New characters

To be honest, the only new character I truly cared for was Dina. I wish we got to have her as a companion longer and got to know more about her. From what we picked up along the way, she was perfect match for Ellie. Lev was cool (or cold as he likes to say), but I didn’t grow attached to him like others.

Representation

Although I wish we saw more of them, I think Ellie and Dina’s relationship was absolutely beautiful and heartwarming (besides the ending, which I will talk about later). I truly think this is a step in the right direction for representation in video games for any LGBTQ relationships, and I truly hope there will be a part III or DLC to showcase Ellie and Dina more positive outcome (even though Neil Druckman went on record saying there’s no plans for DLC or a Part III, but I don’t believe him)

Gameplay

The combat and animation system was S tier. The “feel” of it is smooth and weapons feel powerful. Once I got the hang of dodge and going prone, I was obsessed with staying in stealth mode (I prefer Ellie’s stealth kill animation over Abby’s). There’s also this awesome new animation where if you hurt the last enemy but they’re not dead yet, you can slowly walk up to them and do this brutal melee finisher move. Felt like a badass everytime.

I also loved how the increase in creepy/dark/eerie areas. Stalkers are a lot scarier than the first game and the rat king boss fight was like it was out of a resident evil game.

The Little Things

I fell in love with the little details: the lighting in every scene, pull an arrow out of your shoulder, safe puzzles and weapon bench animations, how Ellie/Abby looks when opening a door, flashlight, THE MUSIC! The score and music choices along the way (future days and take me on)

What I didn’t like

Abby

Not going to lie to you folks, even after 2 playthroughs, I hated every second playing as Abby. The only scenes I didn’t mind was the “afraid of heights” segment with Lev and the rat king fight. Although ND attempted to have me sympathize with her as a character, it never stuck. I will be fair, I see the humanity in her, especially when she’s with Lev and the fact Lev basically told her to save Dina and Ellie, but without Lev, I don’t care for her.

Any of the characters that had to do with Abby’s story

I don’t think it’s possible for me to care anymore less for her relationship with Owen or any of her friends. Pretty much any time that was taken away from me playing as Ellie or anything to do with Ellie’s story line, I felt it was wasting time.

We needed more heartwarming moments

We got the birthday flashback, the barn house scene, when you find out Joel tried to get into Ellie’s favorite comic book, and some other little moments in between. I truly believe the reason why a lot of us love TLOU is because of the love between Ellie and Joel, the things that made our hearts a bit warmer, and even the ending of the first game, we had something to hold in our hearts, we knew Joel and Ellie were together. In Part II, we end with Ellie walking away with her loss of everything. She lost Dina, JJ, and the ability to play guitar. Basically, everything she loved was lost. (I will circle back to this at the end).

The ending

This can go up for debate, but I think the ending was left way too much for interpretation. I think ND could’ve given some direction on where Ellie is headed. If she’s going to Jackson, going out on her own. I mean, especially since ND is being very abrasive about if there’s going to be another game or not. I think the ending was cruel, especially those of us (which I think is a lot, probably 90% of TLOU community) that holds Ellie in our hearts dearly and always will.

Post Edit: I forgot to mention that I don’t think it’s talked about enough that Ellie saved Abby. If Ellie never went back for her final attempt for revenge, Abby would’ve never made it.

My concerns for the future

Neil has gone on record multiple times there’s no plans on a DLC or a part III (he says the next best idea will be the one they go with, whether that’s a new IP or TLOU). However, the way they set up Part II, introducing new characters and the way the menu changes to Catalina island (indicating to us Abby and Lev made it). I’m afraid that IF there is a DLC or Part III, Ellie won’t be the main protagonist. Which, would 1000% break my heart if that’s the case, and honestly, I probably will not play it if Ellie isn’t apart of it.

In the recent Kinda Funny Games gamescast, Neil was oddly quiet when asked where Abby and Lev end up besides alluding that menu once completing the game is Catalina island. But when asking about where Ellie ends up, he openly says he doesn’t know and no one really has thought about it.

There are a lot of people saying they prefer Abby storyline over Ellie (I respect your opinion if you think that, but if that’s what you truly believe, I think you’re wrong and I don’t trust you) and I truly am concerned that this game is the last we will see from Ellie. That’s the last thing I want. I will feel a lot better if ND will publicly state if this was the end or not, but regardless, we deserve closure. Whether it be a better ending for Ellie or just telling the fans if there’s no hope.

I think at the very least, we should get a DLC, showing Ellie’s quest to find Dina or give her an ending that’s more justified for the fans that care about her.

Final thoughts

I think the game was beautifully crafted, it made me feel things I didn’t think was possible for a game to do. I think we can all agree that the game was gorgeous, the actors did a PHENOMENAL job (whether you love or hate their characters), and the story is one that will be talked about for a while. In the end, naughty dog made the game and it’s done. No matter how many of us share our opinions or thoughts, nothings going to change what was given to us.

There are people who are hating on the game without playing it and giving the models and actors grief and hate about the game. Which is dumb and counterproductive. Hate the character, not the model and/or actor. I plan on playing the game again to get the platinum trophy (just missing the artifacts and collectibles), after that, I plan on taking a break and clearing my head. Part II was a very heavy game. When I was done with the first clear, I had to not play it for a day or two cause I was feeling ill and anxious.

Some can say she lost everything because of vengeance and her ego for revenge, but I think a major point the game tried to point out is Ellie is at peace with her loss and she can move onto what will give her life meaning. In previous paragraph I mentioned how her and Joel love is one of the major reasons we adore TLOU, but I think even with Joel dead, I think love can still be the main incentive to keep moving forward. The words that keep coming back in my mind is what Joel says to her at the end of the first game “no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for” and I hope we will be able to experience her next motivation.

Overall, despite the issues I had, I still love the game. It’s still my favorite form of media. I still love the fact we have such a beautiful, badass, lesbian protagonist in a video game. I try to voice that to Neil and Naughty Dog whenever I can and I hope he can see the importance in keeping Ellie as a character for more iterations. I’m remaining cautiously optimistic we will see more of Ellie.

I’m sure there are other things that I forgot to include, but those are the major things that stuck out to me.

[battlestar-royco]

okay here it is, part 1 of my sci fi tv and movies rec list! i’ve split it up into 2, kind of by tone and theme. these recs are on the lighter side. part 2 is for fans of darker sci fi. i could’ve gone on tbh but i had to draw the line somewhere. it’s not perfect but i hope you find something you like that you haven’t heard of! full titles, trigger warnings, and diversity/general notes under the cut. ask box open for any more specific questions!

part 2/2

If you liked STAR TREK and STAR WARS:

Black Mirror: USS Callister: (tw: simulated child loss, brief torture) coworkers get trapped inside their boss’s Star Trek spoof video game. It’s led by a white woman but the entire cast is pretty diverse (Michaela Coel!!!) and it’s critical of white edgelords. Dark moments balanced with funny!

Firefly: (tw: sexual harassment in one episode, sex worker phobia, Joss Whedon-ness) I think this one is more well-known; a small space crew travels the solar system taking on any weird jobs they can get. Two leading WOC, a black man, one interracial relationship.

Avenue 5: (tw: some dark humor, language) Star Trek meets the Titanic. Funny! I’ll leave it at that. 3 leading WOC, a canonically pan main character in a poly and interracial relationship.

Black Mirror: Be Right Back: (tw: grief, partner loss) a woman’s SO dies and she simulates his resurrection through a software that scans his social media accounts. This one isn’t diverse but it’s an hour of Domhnall Gleeson, if he’s your thing!

Stargate: (tw: 90s/00s racism/sexism) tbh I haven’t watched most of the content but I’d say it’s on par with a Star Trek kind of thing. SGA stars two or three POC in a cast of like 7 regulars.

If you liked PACIFIC RIM:

Black Mirror: Hang the DJ: (tw: none that I can recall) a man and woman fall in love via dating app. It doesn’t have monsters, but it’s an incredibly charming episode that exhibits some of Black Mirror’s best qualities imo and I think people who like the Raleigh/Mako dynamic will like what these two have!! Interracial relationship between a black woman and a white man; black woman is blink-and-you-miss-it bi, but still canonically bi.

Cloverfield (tw: violence/blood, frequent flashes, shaky cam): found-footage flick about aliens attacking New York. Basic and not too diverse but it has the huge monster appeal and I like the found-footage aspect.

Edge of Tomorrow: (tw: VB) Groundhog Day alien apocalypse. it’s Tom Cruise buuuuut you get to see Emily Blunt at her most “I’ll end you”-est so like? Worth it I think??

Arrival: (tw: child loss) aliens come to Earth to offer something to the humans. A little slow, but definitely a different take and some cool-looking aliens.

The Host: (tw: child loss) A girl gets kidnapped by a huge river monster. it’s in Korean and all the characters are Asian. Directed by Bong Joon-ho and starring Kang-Ho Song and Bae Doona!! Plus environmentalist commentary.

If you liked MARVEL and DC:

Misfits: (tw: sex, language, violence, rape) imagine one of those superhero teams like the Avengers except they’re all criminals who’ve given up on life and don’t actually care about making the world a better place. Chaotic stupid energy. Two black leads :)

Push: (tw: a few bloody scenes) Chris Evans before Cap?? Dakota Fanning before Twilight? Secret government experiments and black ops superpower organizations? You love to see it!

Fast Color: (tw: past drug use referenced) superpowers that pass down from generation to generation in a family of black women. Need I say more? Need I say any fucking more?!?!

Sense8: (tw: child loss, grief, lots of nudity and sex, drug use, language, infidelity) 8 people around the world start experiencing each other’s lives and borrowing each other’s skill sets. This is probably THE most intersectional and diverse show I have ever seen. An international cast and setting that reaches almost every continent, leading trans lesbian, multiple QPOC. Truly incredible and one of my absolute favorites.

Jupiter Ascending: (tw: bees) I actually don’t really like this movie but I do think it has its appeal and I appreciate how much it is just unabashedly itself. Don’t take it too seriously! The cast is kinda wild too--Mila Kunis, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean, Channing Tatum!!! And it’s by the Wachowskis, AKA the two trans sisters who did The Matrix and Sense8!

If you liked THE HUNGER GAMES:

Gattaca: (tw: implied body modification, trichophobia, eugenics) in a society that discriminates against genes, a man with a heart condition assumes another’s identity in order to achieve his dream of becoming an astronaut. I love this movie. It’s very moody and soft with a really compelling dynamic between the two leading men which I’ve always read as gay.

Snowpiercer: (tw: VB, minor cannibalism) yet another winner from Bong Joon-ho, who’s surprised? All of humanity lives on a train in which all the cars are stratified by class. This is my favorite of all the movies from all the Chrises. Evans is by far my favorite Chris for this!!! It also features Octavia Spencer and Kang-Ho Song! Piping hot class war tea pre-Parasite.

V for Vendetta: (tw: torture, I don’t remember a lot of the details sorry!) I haven’t watched this movie in a minute so I don’t remember how much I actually liked it, but I thought it was worth mentioning because it’s a classic dystopian movie.

Children of Men: (tw: infertility, childbirth, VB) humanity has lost the ability to procreate for 2 decades until one day a resistance group discovers a pregnant woman. Holy crap so much extremely relevant and prescient commentary on immigration, race, class, and refugee crises!!!

Akira: (tw: disturbing imagery, objectification, nudity) I don’t really remember this one much either? But it’s Japanese, there’s biker gangs, and it’s super weird.

The 100: (tw: VB, kill your gays/POC trope, suicide, torture, child loss) 100 juvenile delinquents are dropped onto Earth and chaos ensues. I think most people know that this show is plagued with issues but it really does have a special place in my heart and I think it changed the conversation and standards re: the treatment of wlw in genre fiction. It starts off cheesy and slow but the stakes are SO high all the time and it’s full of thought-provoking ethical dilemmas.