#which thinking back on the post I dont even know if I DO disagree at all with the original hypothesis i just think its more than that

[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 04

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

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“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.3k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through ↳ a/n┆i hope u guys love this chapter as much as i do !! a little blast from the past always has me excited <3 p.s let me know which pairings ur rooting for after reading hehe (and yes next chapter we will be back at the party dont worry the drama has just begun)

04⌇memories of summer bring you

As San weaves his way through the crowd, past the drunken bodies of guys and girls alike, he finds himself reminiscing in just how much he had changed the past few years. Was it okay to live a life like he was right now? He’s not too sure. San first thinks of high school, then his thoughts float to you.

San watches the clock tick above his teacher’s desk, mind wandering as he scribbles on his worksheet with a ballpoint pen. He’s trapped in a god-awful environmental science class (which mind you would’ve been a free period instead), courtesy of not taking enough science courses earlier on to hit the credit minimum. It’s torturous, making him study about the world in a stuffy classroom when he could be out there learning by simply living in it.

San might just be a little salty, but the lesson isn’t actually that interesting either, so his mind has been elsewhere the last half hour. He’ll listen when it actually gets important, maybe. First he was daydreaming about buying a motorcycle and speeding off into the sunset, away from this boring sad old town to go live some larger-than-life bullshit.

Then he thought it’d be too lonely to do by himself, so he brainstormed an alternative. If he were ever able to do it, he’d probably try convincing someone to come with him. He hasn’t even finished his senior year, yet his ideas still don’t seem all that crazy to him. It might be farfetched to others, but San disagrees. If you aren’t dreaming big, could it even be considered a dream at all?

Then he starts wondering if his thoughts are too reckless most, if not all of the time, if attempting to move through life hastily would be too irresponsible and could scare the people around him. But he really doesn’t want to miss out on living, San wants to go see and do the things you have to go out of your way to experience. Something you make the journey for to begin with, not just a simple detour.

The type of stuff you have to just hold your breath for and jump into with no regret before it’s too late, the tide retreating, water becoming far too shallow. (He truly wasn’t lying earlier when he said he loves to be on the move, or that the thrill of exploring had always been dangerously enticing to him.) Those mantras, principles, whatever you wish to call them replay in his mind daily. They always have.

San knows the world won’t slow down and wait for him too. He sees it outside the classroom window right now, how the cars still pass down the street as the birds fly high into the sky even if he’s confined to his seat. San is well aware that it’s him who has to be the one to take the leap of faith and choose to start living. The problem is that sometimes he just can’t.

When San would think about the daredevils, adrenaline junkies, risk takers of the world, those who love to live on the edge of things, preparing for their big take off, he’d think of how he would love to be like that someday. Yeah, someday. The difference was he liked staying on the edge too much. Didn’t like the feeling of climbing to the highest point just for the glory if he could end up tipping over, see himself falling down and lose control of everything in the process.

When third period ends San makes his way out of class then down the hall, stopping at his locker so he can drop off the notebook and stationery he no longer needs till after his second lunch break. San knows he has PE next, so he quickly grabs his gym clothes. It’s not that he cares much about being late for it or missing out on any of the “action” though, he only really enjoys it depending on what sport they’re playing.

He likes the sports where his only role is to defend whenever a ball or something comes his way. It’s why he thinks volleyball is torture; trying his best to stay in his position once his team scores but then somebody is already telling him to hurry up and rotate. Those days are just endless cycles of torture. Actually, were.  He started to sit in the nurse’s office on those days.

It’s a good thing they’re doing netball today (he doesn’t have any more passes to sit in the med bay now). San has a lot of fun playing it. He’s even claimed the goalkeeper bib before anyone else can so much that whoever he plays with just lets him have it. The people he usually plays with are good enough to the point where the opposing team never even gets to his third of the court.

Goalkeeper suits him for that exact reason, he enjoys getting to win without even having to take a shot with the ball. San liked how it was so much he didn’t think or want to try being a goal attacker or centre. Well, maybe sometimes he did a little. There were a couple instances where he wanted to try a different role for the first time. San had gotten as close as picking up a different position bib even. Thoughts like that were shoved away quickly however, and the bib would end thrown back into the crate. The mere possibility of letting anyone down in case he was terrible outweighed his curiosity (and potential) on multiple occasions.

Failure was a funny thing; it had given him a terrible feeling that would sit in the pit of his stomach or make him so nauseous it was awfully dizzying. The funnier thing was that San had never truly failed at anything in life, simply because he had never tried much to begin with. That was the case, for quite some time in his life as he knew it. He had been growing more than okay with that knowledge as time passed, then one day he wasn’t.

As he turned away from his locker, San spotted you walking the opposite way to your own fourth period class, clearly getting ready to ditch the rest of the day. His heartbeat had sped up and his palms were awfully sweaty but for the first time ever, he shut out every reasoning voice in his head and chose to do something he never had the courage to before.

The two of you were in the same grade, so he had seen you passing by in the hallways always with both earphones in (to drown out everyone else he assumes, you never talked to anyone when you had them in while carrying an almost sorrow expression). Despite how you looked, you would still be humming away to a tune he could never fully quite catch.

He also knew your lunch times were spent eating shitty snacks from the vending machines and that you really liked the strawberry lollipops from the cafeteria (which they only sold every Friday for some fucked up reason, he overheard you complaining about it to your friends in math).

San would also see you after school with all of your cooler, older friends too. You would all huddle around the corner near the bike racks in the parking lot, out of sight from teachers so you could bum cigarettes off of each other. You’d also listen to music while you were there, only with one earphone in though so you could still hear everyone talk. He liked seeing that, you always looked happy and smiley talking to your friends.

The two of you weren’t complete strangers, but nowhere close enough where he could feel safe calling you his friend either. You shared multiple classes with San, greeting him with a small smile when you’d walk by his seat to get to your own (he liked that you’d always say hi to him even when he never did first). The both of you even worked on group projects together, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know more about you, to take even the smallest peek at the inner workings of your mind. To find out how you always seemed to not care when things went wrong.

He thinks of your reaction when you would fail a test, how you’d simply shrug before shoving the paper into the bottom of your backpack. Immediately after, smiling as you’d turn around to talk to your friends about whatever you all planned to do that weekend. Stuff like that didn’t make much sense to him. Why would you not opt out of hanging out just for one weekend and study harder to do better on the next test like he would?

San supposes that’s what separates the two of you into vastly different worlds, yet he wants nothing more than to just step over that line and join you.

When he had spotted you there, on that humid summer day in early June a feeling had begun to settle into his stomach again. The strange bit was that it didn’t feel humiliating nor demeaning, but there was still something unsettling about it. It felt extremely foreign at first but now, incredibly comforting. Because for once, it didn’t feel like failure.

So, he then decided to call out to you. It was the very first time he had ever greeted you, without you doing it first. Your name exceedingly foreign on his tongue when coming out of his mouth while you weren’t sitting at your desks in a shared class. You had turned around at the noise, both earphones still blasting music into your ears.

Once you had recognised who the voice belonged too, you immediately had taken out both of your earphones with a smile. The tune he had never been able to fully hear, was now playing into the world for him to hear freely. He felt the corners of his mouth beginning to prick upwards at that. Yet with no plan of what words he would say now, San was immediately regretting his choice to speak to you. His fists were balled up in front of him, grip tightening on his clothes ever so slightly as he lowers his eyes down away from you.

The edge he always treads so carefully on was now unstable and he felt it beginning to crack already. You don’t leave him any more time to freak out over it though. When he looks up, he sees you already opening your mouth to say hello in the soft tone you always use, ushering him over.

“Hey, San. You want to come skip with me?”

The cool breeze flowing through the corridor, cooling down his cheeks just had to heat up again when he locked eyes with you, of course they did. Because San had always found everything about you pretty, from the first time he ever saw you. Not a day would there be a doubt in his mind of that. But, in that very moment he found you strikingly beautiful. In a split second, where his brain and his heart finally worked in unison he had responded hurriedly, before he could overthink it and regret it for the rest of his days.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll come along,” As he chucked his gym clothes back into his locker, a switch had been flicked on in his mind. When he turned around and saw you then, one lollipop in your mouth and a second in your hand, held out to him, a realisation had been thrown into his face like a bucket of ice-cold water. San had ultimately discovered that dancing on the edge was fun, yet leaping off it was much better. Even if the water was too shallow down below, San thinks he would be okay with that.

While walking away from the gym and instead down the hall with you by his side, San had spotted your earphones tangled up and peeking out of your backpack. That day, he settled with the fact that maybe it was okay to be a little too reckless, to move a tad too fast. Even if it could scare people, even if it scared him.

If you asked San what made him love that summer far more than the previous ones, he might mention his drunken bike rides with you and your friends, or the nights he spent laying on the beach with you gazing at the stars. Hell, he even liked the part time job he had to take up thanks to the party you helped him throw (which ended in that broken window he had to pay for). Spending a portion of his summer working as a server wasn’t fun in theory but when you’d visit him on his breaks or pick him up after his shifts, San had found it pretty worth it in the end.

He was truly happy in every moment back then; he’s enlightened even now, because all the memories of summer bring you back to him. Despite existing only as a brief moment in his own mind, San is content because whenever he closes his eyes he finds a version of you is there with him. He’s able feel the sun on his bare skin, with your lips pressed against his own again. His favorite bit being when the lingering hint of strawberries followed as you both pulled away.

Yeah, that’s exactly when it was. Three summers ago. When San had first decided it was alright to embrace being him, to be the person he still was today. All thanks to you.

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[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[tuliptiger]

I! Would also love to see this studied so we can use whatever the results are to help change the things we're able to. I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to word my thoughts though.

I disagree with the hypothesis that people are chronically understimulated or at least I disagree with that as a general statement. I think that we're plenty stimulated but more importantly people with all sorts of different interests find their own stimulation just fine.

I love nature and the natural world, merlin, ebird, Inaturalist and good old notebooks and field guides are my favorite activities to go outside and do. More than anything I love birding. I also have education in natural resources and plan to live out my life with that as a career.

That being said, this last field season I worked exclusively outside, four 10 hour days outside in an area I absolutely am in love with. I still stayed up, often into the following days, watching tiktok and "satisfying" videos. Looking back I think I was stressed from, well everything. Needing money to pay for everything, the world's entire situation and americas fucked up (sorry for the language but describing it would deserve it's own post) cultural and social shifts. (While I love my career natural resources notoriously doesn't pay well, at least not the FS)

Those videos never actually made me feel better and often ruined the following day, anything I learned was questionable at best and completely devastating at worst, and the ratio of actual content I'd care about vs the rest of it was completely drowned out by the sheer volume of the library of content.

I found bird feathers and animal bones (environmental story telling forest edition), looked at bugs, spotted every animal and bird I could lay my eyes on. My crew and I would eat local berries and take breaks under the bluest sky I've ever been under, experience the awe-some views and sounds of being so far away from civilization the only way to contact us was through our radios.

That did NOT change my consumption of "stim videos" and quick content. My knowledge, curiosity, and adoration of nature was not correlated with my media use. Maybe for some people those things can be related, we're people and we're variable and nebulous but I think the issue is deeper than people being understimulated both mentally and physically.

If I had to put in a guess I'd say the larger issue is honestly stress, work and value (capital, value, worth) culture ie if you aren't creating value you are worthless. I'd also wager in correlation with these constant feelings of needing to be active and creating value, people are uncomfortable with being bored more than anything else these days.

(Sarcasm) If you're bored you can and should be making money right? How else is anyone going to pay their bills, go on vacation, have a stable life, or retire? Don't be lazy and stop staring at bugs. (End of Sarcasm)

I do not think boredom is bad at this point in my life, I'd even go as far as to say it's necessary (this would deserve it's own post to explain what I mean by this but I hope the meaning is clear enough) But capitalism doesn't have any room or patience for boredom, inactivity and monetarily valueless exploration. That's only good for your long term health and wellbeing and unsatisfied, ill people spend more money.

Addition: I rambled way too much, I am not currently good at condensing information. I just wanted to add on another piece of the puzzle, because it's really not one big thing it's a thousand different things I think.

Anyway...I just wanted to add that our infrastructure is so unfriendly to people just existing let alone exploring in urban AND rural areas it makes me furious. Birding these last couple years has really exposed me to this too. I can almost never find safe locations to pull off of roads to set up my binos or spotting scope to look at birds. Cities rarely have TRUE "loiter" friendly areas, parks are ok but USUALLY not the best for the purpose of learning about ecosystems or native ecology (unless you have a really cool city planner/city council that built parks around the idea of the local ecosystems).

I have never felt safe or welcome in residential areas either and they aren't particularly interesting in terms of biodiversity. Down town areas are out of the question due to noise, population and overall lack of the natural world. Unless you're buying things from shopping areas people dont take too kindly to you checking out the bushes and grasses around either. Urban areas don't encourage a slower pace of life and curiosity for the natural to me.

Again, if I'm not spending or making money and I'm only interested in my pretty cheap and free hobby I'm not welcome. And the final thing, this is, of course, just from my experiences and the places I've traveled. This does not encompass the entire USA let alone the world nor does it cover everyone's lived or future experiences.

I would be interested in resources and studies of why this trend of stim videos and quick content is on the rise though. I don't think any of us will like the answers but it would be a step forward to shift our society hopefully. If nothing else it could give individuals the chance to learn something about their habits to make the change for themselves.

My random unsubstantiated hypothesis of the day: the popularity of "stim" videos, fidget toys, and other things like that is a warning sign that something's Deeply Wrong with our world.

Don't freak out. I am autistic. These things are not bad. However, can we just...take a second to notice how weird it is that there are entire social media accounts full of 10-second videos of things making crunching noises, people squishing slime in their hands, and objects clacking together, and that enjoying them is mainstream and normal?

It seems that nowadays, almost everyone exhibits sensory-seeking behavior, when just a decade ago, the idea of anyone having "sensory needs" was mostly obscure. It is a mainstream Thing to "crave" certain textures or repetitive sounds.

What's even weirder, is that it's not just that "stim" content is mainstream; the way everything on the internet is filmed seems to look more like "stim" content. TikToks frequently have a sensory-detail-oriented style that is highly unusual in older online content, honing in on the tactile, visual and auditory characteristics of whatever it's showing, whether that's an eye shadow palette or a cabin in a forest.

When an "influencer" markets their makeup brand, they film videos that almost...highlight that it's a physical substance that can be smudged and smeared around. Online models don't just wear clothes they're advertising, they run their hands over them and make the fabric swish and ripple.

I think this can be seen as a symptom of something wrong with the physical world we live in. I think that almost everyone is chronically understimulated.

Spending time alone in the forest has convinced me of this. The sensory world of a forest is not only much richer than any indoor environment, it is abundant with the sorts of sensations that people seem to "crave" chronically, and the more I've noticed and specifically focused on this, the more I've noticed that the "modern" human's surroundings are incredibly flat in what they offer to the senses.

First of all, forests are constantly permeated with a very soft wash of background noise that is now often absent in the indoor world. The sound of wind through trees has a physiological effect you can FEEL. It's always been a Thing that people are relaxed by white noise, which leads to us being put at ease by the ambient hum of air conditioning units, refrigerators and fans. But now, technology has become much more silent, and it's not at all out of place to hypothesize that environments without "ambient" white noise are detrimental to us.

Furthermore, a forest's ambience is full of rhythmic and melodic elements, whereas "indoor" sounds are often harsh, flat and irregular.

Secondly: the crunch. This is actually one of the most notably missing aspects of the indoor sensory world. Humans, when given access to crunchable things, will crunch them. And in a forest, crunchy things are everywhere. Bark, twigs and dry leaves have crisp and brittle qualities that only a few man-made objects have, and they are different with every type of plant and tree.

Most humans aren't in a lot of contact with things that are "destroyable" either, things you can toy with and tear to little bits in your hands. I think virtually everyone has restlessly torn up a scrap of paper or split a blade of grass with their thumbnail; it's a cliche. And since fidget toys in classrooms are becoming a subject of debate, I think it pays to remember that the vast majority of your ancestors learned everything they knew with a thousand "fidget toys" within arm's reach.

And there is of course mud, and clay, and dirt, and wet sand. I'm 100% serious, squishing mud and clay is vital to the human brain. Why do you think Play-Doh is such a staple elementary school toy. Why do you think mud is the universal cliche thing kids play in for fun. It's such a common "stim" category for a reason.

I could go on and on. It's insane how unstimulating most environments humans spend time in are. And this definitely contributes to ecological illiteracy, because people aren't prepared to comprehend how detailed the natural world is. There are dozens of species of fireflies in the United States, and thousands of species of moths. If you don't put herbicides on your lawn, there are likely at least 20 species of plant in a single square meter of it. I've counted at least 15 species of grass alone in my yard.

Would it be overreach to suggest that some vital perceptive abilities are just not fully developing in today's human? Like. I had to TEACH myself to be able, literally able, to perceive details of living things that were below a certain size, even though my eyes could detect those details, because I just wasn't accustomed to paying attention to things that small. I think something...happens when almost all the objects you interact with daily are human-made.

The people that think ADHD is caused by kids' brains being exposed to "too much stuff" by Electronic Devices...do not go outside, because spending a few minutes in a natural environment has more stimuli in it than a few hours of That Damn Phone.

A patch of tree bark the size of my phone's screen has more going on than my phone can display. When you start photographing lots of living organisms, you run into the strange and brain-shifting reality that your electronic device literally cannot create and store images big enough to show everything you, in real life, may notice about that organism.

[kings-highway]

pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

[wonbie]

sorry . 엔하이픈 . arguments with enha :( and making up

warnings ¿ arguing, not proofread genre ¿ fluffy angst © wonbie

lee heeseung

i feel like hee would be very passionate in his argument. like he'd be prepared for whatever you fire back at him. he hates arguing just as much as you do but sometimes it just happens. so after he'd apologize and repay you with kisses

park jongseong

okay my boy jay...yeah i get that he'll be the type to be a little agressive when arguing. he wont hurt you or anything no no but he might raise his voice a little. i'm sorry jay 😔 but after the argument he'd cook you dinner and apologize bc hes a gentleman!!

sim jaeyun

poor jake :( he's already welling up with tears. at first it was just a disagreement but then it turned into a whole argument. he could tell you didn't want to argue so he tried to stop it. he brought you into a hug and whispered an apology against your hair

park sunghoon

okay like sunghoon is in love with you so it breaks his heart when he hears your voice crack while you're arguing. he literally has to take a second and realize what just happened. you on the verge of pouring out tears... yeah not on his watch. he brings you into an embrace and soothes you while mumbling sorrys promising he'll never argue with you again

kim sunoo

sunoo would instantly feel regret. hes a soft boy :( he'd stop the argument as soon as it started. instead you have a small talk with him about whatever you were disagreeing about and you end up compromising!!

yang jungwon

soft boy pt2. i think he'd get into it at first but then like in the heat of the argument he calms down. he absolutely hate it. he knows arguments are normal but he hates it. he hates the idea of it too so instead he just agrees with you so you can stop as well

nishimura riki

i dont think riki would cause arugments but he would be annoying which causes you to lash out at him. like ur having a bad day and he wont shut up type of stuff. when you apologize he understands and offers you cuddles

paris' note . i like this one even tho it's about arguing... i feel like the flow is much better ! as always reblog in support of parizz she's really cool i promise ( shameless self promoting ) im very unfunny im not cringy i swear im just so happy to be back and post new thingss!! also wasnt supposed to be posted today but i couldnt wait

perm tl @jakeyzzz @luvistqrzzz @minholing send ask or comment if you want to be added!!

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[matan4il]

@anon-e-has-a-tmblr asked regarding this post (that briefly referred to the UN's International Court of Justice's ruling):

Wait didnt the ICJ ruled FOR israel?? I dont understand any of this

That's a very good question. The answer is complex. On the surface, they ruled against Israel. The first part of their decision says Israel must immediately halt its military operations in Rafah, and since most people only read this first part, it was taken as a win by the Israel hating crowd. I don't follow every international news outlet out there, but from what I understand, that's pretty much how it was initially reported across the board. Here's an example from the BBC:

Then, the legal opinions of five of the trial's judges were published, including Aharon Barak's (the globally esteemed judge, former president of Israel's Supreme Court of Justice, and a kid Holocaust survivor... Someone who truly understands what a genocide is because he lived an actual one). Four of the five judges indicated that the ruling actually has a second part, where they mention that the military operations that that Israel must stop immediately in Rafah are limited to the ones which might lead to a genocide (the only judge to publish their opinion and disagree with this interpretation is the South African one. Pretend to be surprised).

In other words, the court didn't say, "Israel IS doing this thing, and therefore must stop," instead it said, "Israel must stop IF what it's doing could cause this thing." What the court ended up ruling is still kind of ambiguous when you try to translate it into practical rules on what is and isn't allowed, but it's probably the best that we could hope for, because it does allow military action in Rafah.

In other words, this is NOT the provisional measure South Africa was asking for, they wanted an immediate junction against any and ALL Israeli military operations in Rafah, and even in Gaza overall (they got neither), not a reference to this, but with an asterisk that allows Israel to continue operating there under certain conditions (though having to be even more cautious with any action that might be misinterpreted as contradicting said conditions). Given how politically biased against Israel the ICJ is, this absolutely can be taken as a win.

The issue is two fold.

First, since Israel is already pretty much already doing more than any other army to aid the civilian population under the rule of the enemy, if this is limiting us even more in having to demonstrate the crimes we're not committing (and think of how hard that actually is... how do you legally prove in-existence? If you had to prove you've never murdered anyone or had an intent to murder anyone, and had to do something beyond showing an arrest record clear of murder charges, how would you do that?) then how much military operational room do we have left to root out Hamas, and will it be enough to achieve our goals of destroying it and bringing back all of our hostages?

Second, and this is arguably the bigger one, is the optics of it. Because so many will only refer to the first part, and act as if the second part doesn't exist, that Israel's military operation in Rafah (you know, the city that Hamas just yesterday used to fire rockets from at central Israel, including Tel Aviv, in what was probably the first massive Hamas rocket attack since January on that area) does have to stop completely, and if we don't halt, then we're criminals. Just like some people used being Israel being to court as if it proves our fault (rather than wait for the required conviction to claim we're guilty), some will use the very fact this new provisional measure was issued to claim it's proof of our crimes, even though it's not.

In fact, I've already seen headlines reflecting how notoriously anti-Israel European Union senior Josep Borell is using this misinterpretation to pretend that Israel has to stop completely, or it's not complying with the court's ruling.

A full win for Israel would have been if the ICJ had ruled that there's no room for new provisional measures.

That was never going to happen with this biased court. Instead, the ICJ used the claim that things are deteriorating in Gaza to rule against Israel, even though it never found that it was Israel's fault that the situation is becoming worse (not to mention that they're basing the estimate of how the humanitarian, rather than military, situation is in Gaza is deteriorating on what Hamas is reporting. You know, the terrorists who are the actual culprits in using the Gazans as human shields, making things worse on purpose, for example through Hamas stealing the aid allowed in, and selling some of it back to Gazans at impossible prices).

So I hope this explains why, even though all things considered Israel got the best result it could at a biased court, it's still seen as a ruling against us, when everyone knows how it will be used (including the judges themselves. Listen to the American ICJ judge on this case, a month ago, already having to explain that the previous provisional measures were not a finding against Israel)...

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[cdroloisms]

read your post about how the atmosphere in dreblr feels a little tense nowadays. honestly when i first joined this fandom i was excited to share takes/meta but i dont do it much anymore cause of how intense ppl get when they disagree… wasnt prepared for that level of intensity

i have to say that my experience with this fandom and your experience with this fandom are ... probably pretty different 😅 (not that i know for sure, of course, so sorry abt any inherent assumptions to when you joined the fandom, i've just been here for damn near forever) and that that'll color my perspective on this, so. fair warning in advance.

to be honest, disagreement in dreblr is not a new thing. when dreblr was created there were two main "camps" of c!dream apologism that disagreed on pretty much everything to do with c!dream after novermber 16th and would write essays debunking each other's takes pretty goddamn often. here's an old post by red responding to a lot of opinions on both sides of the line which i think illustrates this well -- note the difference established between "c!dream apologists" and "c!dream enthusiasts," perhaps better known now as the "trauma interpretation" and "strategist interpretation" of c!dream back before the confirmation of staged finale during the prison break, which shows how different people's opinions of c!dream ranged at dreblr's very conception. and this disagreement ran pretty damn deep, too, lmao--some of it was reserved to debating each other in semiprivate discord servers, but plenty of it was made of vagueing each other's takes or directly debating them on each other's blogs.

i think that a source of friction, to be honest, is that dreblr started as a much more analysis- and meta-focused community than it is now. the entire dsmp fandom was very analysis-heavy in 2021-2022, and dreblr definitely reflected that culture; since the dsmp ended, the amount of active discussion about it in a meta sense has also waned, and as such dreblr and many other areas of dsmp fandom have been more focused on other kinds of fanwork. this isn't a bad thing, of course! but it has led to a shift in etiquette, and while i think meta etiquette and fanwork etiquette are very. very different things, obviously the amount of fanwork and the amount of meta that's around in dreblr spaces influences how people interact with all parts of dreblr etc etc that's just how people and communities work

but back to my point. disagreement has always been a part of this fandom, especially in meta spaces (which used to be pretty much all of dreblr, but has kind of become more of a small part of it in more recent times) and intensity with those disagreements also is kind of ... on par for the course? i mean, personally, i think disagreements ran more intense in dreblr in 2021 on average--it's not like dreblr has been as sharply divided with different "versions" of c!dream apologism since--and when it comes to the general fandom, well, any look at the inbox of anyone posting c!dream positive analysis and the formation of dreblr as a whole speak for themselves. also IFUADA and the whole attempt to like, lmanburg us out of our own house. which was hilarious btw that shit was awesome

like, at the end of the day, meta is made to be a place where people are gonna disagree. and a lot of people in meta spaces find it fun to disagree, even; there are more than a few people who will devil's advocate an argument they don't even agree with just for the sake of disagreement and debate. fandom analysis is just ... like, fandom academia lite, and it's also far less beholden to the rules of professionalism in real academia (not that real academia is free of conflict, obviously. including extremely petty conflict, as anyone who has read enough passive-aggressive as shit academic papers will tell you). this isn't to say that things don't go too far, because again, the history of this fandom proves it LOL. but while we all want people to feel comfortable in meta spaces, we also want meta spaces to be a place for people to be passionate about their opinions and to disagree about them fervently and to debate to their heart's content, bc that's kind of the point of fandom meta, yk?

in my post, i mentioned that i think more open disagreement will be good for dreblr, and i do stand by this point; i think that there's no real point in trying to stamp out disagreement in a space meant to be a free place for people to disagree and express their disagreements, not that that's what you're saying or anything just as a general thought. i also think that more disagreement will help with there feeling like there's less of a "correct" way to think about c!dream and the server, which i think raises the barrier of entry for people who want to post meta but don't want to be eviscerated bc they said something "wrong." of course, i can't force anyone to post meta nor do i want to--hell, i want to post more meta but am limited in time, and i know we all live busy lives 😭 (which is part of why this ask is being answered so late, sorry!) -- my point is i dont think, idk, one person being passionate abt a take or disagreement or whatever is necessarily the problem as far as upping the tension in dreblr as much as like. there's a lot of general discomfort and a lack of willingness to rock the boat in a place which should be a safe waters for everyone to take shots at any ship (er, ship to follow up with the rock-the-boat metaphor, but the secondary meaning does apply here as well) they want. we're shooting with water guns, not real bullets, and there's no fun in a splash fight if everyone's too scared of getting someone else wet, i guess.

that being said, anon, i understand that not everyone wants to participate in the free-for-all take pvp that is inherent to meta spaces...to which i say that, honestly, there's no requirement to participate in analysis spaces specifically to just, share your thoughts on the server. i think that in general, if anyone posts their thoughts on the dsmp and adds a disclaimer to the top like "not really analysis, just miscellaneous thoughts that i would prefer not to be vagued/argued against," i really just don't think that most people are gonna go out of their way to argue with that? you have every right to just yap while opting out of the possibility of being vagued or debated with, but you might have to make it clear beforehand bc vagueposting and debating is just the culture that exists in meta/analysis spaces, especially dsmp meta/analysis spaces that have been a part of dreblr since dreblr was made. and if there's anything else that can be done to make everyone feel more comfortable, i think that's worth discussing!

[brucewaynehater101]

"If it's closer to fanon Tim, he would feel guilty for Jason. Closer to canon Tim would either be indifferent to Jason's troubles or he'd feel glad (maybe even a little spiteful) that Jason is facing the consequences of his actions. He would, however, feel guilty for how the revelation affects the street kids."

I have to say I disagree with this. Firstly; with the whole post you're framing this as though Jason beat up a child... which like, true, but also Jason is hardly two years older than Tim. I know comics make him seem aged up, but its simply not the case. (dont @ me if u know this cuz u probably do know this already)

Secondly, Canon Tim.... doesn't hate Jason?? Like, really not at all. If there is any dislike, I'd see it as when Jason is acting particularly villainous, he treats him like any other rogue. Though they don't necessarily interact a lot when Jason is in his villain moments. It's other bats who take care of that, so there's really no beef there.

When Jason isn't having an evil moment, honestly a good word for what Tim feels for him is either pity at worst, admiration at best. With the admiration, I'm not talking about Tim liking him as Robin 'cause that's honestly pretty fanon, I'm talking about how Tim admires his tenacity and determination to keep going even when he feels like everyone is against him. And Tim wants to support him! He sees Jason struggling a lot and wishes Jason would accept help- hence the pity.

I sincerely doubt that Tim would ever feel glad or spiteful towards Jason. He's gotten him back for the whole 'beating the shit out of him' thing. Which really, wasn't really about Tim? Plus its far in the past at this point.

Not to mention Tim is one hell of a badass, he doesn't wallow in self-pity, and I don't think he'd want to interfere with RH's stuff and would probably stop the information leak himself, or even deny the rumors with something like "Oh that? It was just a disagreement/misunderstanding lol the rumors got out of hand,"

Sorry if this was too much, I like ur blog and the things u say, this one just felt really misinformed.

Thank you for letting me know. Reading the post back, I can see how I worded it wrong. I appreciate you giving me the chance to correct that and clarify.

Yes, Jason and Tim are close in age. However, Jason's age (as far as I'm aware) isn't known to civilians. Because of his helmet and bulkiness, a kid would view Jason as an Adult. If they knew his age and then the fight with Robin, that would probably be an acceptable level of violence for them. That's just two kids beating each other up, then. From their perspective, though, Robin is a Kid and Jason is an Adult. A possible solution to gain back their trust could be to disclose how old they were at the time (they might not even need to disclose any details or reasoning with that).

Later in canon, Jason and Tim start getting along. If the reveal happened at that point, Tim would not feel gleeful and spiteful. He'd feel bad for Jason. That is entirely my bad for not making that distinction.

Tim is, undeniably, an asshole at times. He wants to do good, tries to help people, and overall is kind. He's badass and I love him, but he can be an asshole (particularly to Steph). He, especially his inner dialog, sometimes makes asshole comments. This includes Jason. To add on, when Jason was beating him up and demanding Tim to answer if he thought he was good (skill wise), Tim answered yes twice. To me, this seems like a petty/spiteful response. That or Tim is just being honest af about his feelings, not giving a shit he's taking a beating.

However, Tim would not hold this grudge against Jason. One of his better qualities is to not hold grudges against most people (even those that he arguably should). It's why some villains/rogues/enemies become his allies or end up becoming fond of him.

Tim may feel glad that Jason is experiencing the consequences of his actions, but not for himself. This would be during his time as Robin exclusively. Red Robin would not feel this way.

Spiteful, though, was the wrong word to use. Tim, as the loveable asshole that he can sometimes be, might be sort of happy that Jason, in his villain era, is being shown the effects of his actions and possible wrongs in his ways. Happy also seems to not match, but the emotions wheel isn't really giving me an alternative.

Tim would, despite his feelings, hate the effect of this on everyone. The street kids, Jason, and the batfam would be negatively impacted by this, and Tim would try everything he could to stop or mitigate the outcomes. He would never release this information willingly nor stand aside to let it happen. Robin may internally say some shit about Jason and the situation if it blew up in their faces, but you're right that he wouldn't purposefully make shit worse. He would actively work to fix the entire mess.

I really am thankful that you helped me articulate this.

It's 100% my bad that I dropped the ball so hard. If y'all see me fuck up like that again, feel free to let me know. As long as you're not mean about it, I appreciate constructive criticism.

Imma edit the previous post this is about and link it to this one so that I fix the mischaracterization

[morningstarofdawnx]

Dont get me wrong, I hate Doflamingo as much as the next guy, but I have some reasons on why I disagree when people say he was "born a psychopath."

Doflamingo is one of those rare characters that can be considered a deeply horrible person with no moral values whatsoever. Not really my favorite trope but I definitely get why people like him so much.. going back to the topic at hand, I think people need to show his kid self more empathy.

People assume he isn't as traumatized as the other villains, but I disagree with that. I know no one is saying that he deserved to go through the things he did as a kid, that is not my point here, my point is that Doflamingo wouldnt have been like this if it wasnt for his family and his living conditions.

Childrens brains work really really differently. They do not have the moral capability do understand what is wrong and what isnt. Doflamingo was born into a family where owning slaves is a normal thing, and although his father didnt encourage it, he still had slaves. I think this changed Doffys brain structure in a very negative way, he was impacted negatively even before the whole getting lynched thing happened.

People love to bring up that one manga panel where he says he wants more slaves to justify shitting on him, but like, THINK ABOUT IT. You are a kid and there is this random person in your house that does things for you without even questioning it. Its literally a KIDS DREAM! Obviously hes going to want more slaves, he doesnt even know whats wrong with having slaves!!

Doflamingo, to me, was a normal kid. But considering the things that happened in the country he went to, added onto how he was raised up until the age of 8, I wasnt really surprised when he killed his father. He wasnt taught morality, or maybe he was but how is he supposed to know whats good and whats not when his father is a celestial dragon that owns slaves?? He never learned the value of human life and was raised as a spoiled little shit, which isnt really his fault.

This isnt a Doffy defense post or anything like that, just my perspective on his childhood and how it affected him. Yeah! If you agree

[notmyprey]

Hi! Uhm I’m new, I love your blog! But I’m just nervous I’ll be judged by others that I like this stuff

Hey I am so so sorry about how long it took me to get to this. I have been thinking this over quite a bit, since this is in fact a very serious thing. (I also have been really busy, which hasn't helped in the speed at which I answer asks)

Firstly, thank you! I am always so happy when people find my art/content as entertaining as I do!

Secondly, in regards to the judgment.

Unfortunately, no matter what you do, someone will judge you. But when you want something enough, when you care about something enough, you will find places and groups where that judgment lessens. I have found my place here, a place where, although no one knows my irl name, they know me by a name I answer to. Although no one knows my face, they do know a truer face of myself than many do in real life. People here know me and often know a more freeing part of me.

I think being here, on Tumbler, has been so freeing and overall rewarding. I know you may be scared of the judgment, but there are ways to lessen it. (I will give tips on how to do this later on)

Although our community has its faults, it is kind at heart and truely is trying to do what they think is best to keep others safe. Although many disagree with the methods, it always comes back to the fact that we want to have a safe place to express ourselves. This, our community, in reality, is a decently safe place.

That being said, I know the fear of harassment is very real. So if you guys want my tips on how to avoid harassment, here are some things I've found:

Dont post political views (outside of DNI lists) on your sfw vore blog. This often can lead to people who dont agree with your view on said matter to seek you out for hate. I have seen this time and time again, I whole heartedly recommend a dedicated blog to that stuff, or even creating a new/separate account for it.

Dont spam tags. This is basic, but often overlooked. Make sure you tag your posts right, or people may block you because you did post something triggering and they saw it.

Dont reblog Willy nilly. This can lead to mishaps, such as accidentally rebloging a post from an nsfw blog. Try to make sure you are rebloging from people you know are safe.

Dont threaten, even jokingly, anyone unless you make it 100% clear it is a joke. This goes for your friend, others, and even people who are mean to you. This is often overlooked, but can easily come to bite you in the ass when your words are used to make you look violent and sporadic.

If people criticize you, even unjustly, try to at least think about where those words may be coming from. I have someone call me a pedo in the past, and although I am very ace, I understand it was probably coming from a place of hurt. Whether it was their hurt or someone they knew, it was probably a subject that was important, and if they see any of the same trends as when they/another was hurt, they will point it out. Dont get angry and aggressive, no matter how much you want to. If you need to, step away.

If troll annons start invading your ask box, either turn off annon or stop answering. Answering annons like that too often only fuels the fire, trolls, not haters, but trolls specifically feed off of your reaction. There is nothing for you to often grasp onto in those moments since the face you are talking to is faceless. So, either scarcely answer trolls, or dont answer them at all.

Dont get involved in community discourse when possible. Unless your hand is forced or it is an unavoidable matter, it is best to stay out of discourse. If you still want to know what others thing/help in a muxg safer way, often, I will message others I trust about their views on the matter (or if they are involved asking if they are doing ok), but rarely anything beyond that. Its difficult, seeing people you know be in the rough situations, but often stepping in when not necessary leads to more problems than it does help.

Please note that these are just some of the things I do that help me. Other people may have their own way of keeping harassment away from their blog, but this is mine.

[omgwhatchloe]

lets talk about sean macguire, or more specifically, his none-existent recovery and how it affected him before his death.

so as we all know, sean is captured by bounty hunters after the blackwater ship robbery goes horribly wrong. it’s confirmed in a side mission that he was tortured for information, most likely because ike skelding and his crew wanted to be the ones to bring dutch in as well, but he specifically mentions how they burnt his feet and pulled his teeth.

lets start with the affect of them pulling his teeth: it doesn’t take a genius to know ike skeldings bounty hunters are not fully trained dentists with numbing cream and injects, nor did they actually care about any of the long-lasting damage they were doing to sean, since they assumed he’d be getting hung and wanted to have their fun with him. that was the whole point, to torture him because any teeth related pain, i think we can all agree, is the worst of the worst. afterwards, he is seen struggling to eat, i think at least multiple people online have said they have noticed how he will only have one or two bites, or even none at all, and pour away the mostly full stew. i haven’t bothered to focus on anyone else’s eating habits, if im being honest, but i think i really picked up on seans because of the fact hes trying to eat with missing and likely damaged teeth. as we know, no one in camp really bothers to ask him if he’s okay or pick up on this, but this is not surprising as after all they are just codes and scripts and no voice actor has the time to record their characters entire life.

next, the feet burning: the fact they burnt his feet implies to me and gives me the idea that he was hanging from his arms at some point in his time of being captured and they had pretty clear access to his feet (ew). in camp, i did actually notice him walking funny like he was drunk, then having completely sober dialogue while limping along. though of course this game is not without its faults and glitches, and dialogue getting messed up is, in my opinion, one of the most experienced ones throughout the entire game, so perhaps this was him being drunk and accidentally having sober dialogue. but im going to pretend its because they burnt his feet.

his none-existent recovery: i actually spoke about this on a different platform, and compared the recovery that arthur had to the one sean had, which they both deserved, and lets just say some people disagreed. according to them, a party is good enough! despite the fact, sean needs to heal, or at least get the chance to see a doctor, and a party is literally the opposite of healing time. he has just been kidnapped, certain he wasn’t going to make it, getting tortured, and mentally that’s going to fuck with you. but again, no one in camp really cares or notices and he doesn’t get to really actually recover from that. obviously sean was not upset about getting a party in the slightest, dont get me wrong, but for other users to claim that’s all he needs while we’re discussing it just seems a little weird to me. and something that has always upset me is the way he is immediately put back to work, that is what i mean when i say he does not get to recover properly, he is straight back on guard duty. and we all know guard duty involves being on your feet for hours, which is especially bad for poor sean who has just had his feet burnt. seriously, give my man a break (NEWSFLASH: A PARTY IS NOT A BREAK IN THIS SITUATION)

anyways, expect another post about his napping and sleeping habits because i honestly can’t wait to write about that (watch out hosea you’re gunna get slandered)

[mobiused]

is it too late to ask for said actual nuanced statement about your feelings on the way loona has split up and how you feel about supporting each of the factions as a fan

No :0 Okay well this posted early accidentally come back when I've edited it with the answer you seek; edit here it is

As anybody who follows me and actually listens to what I post knows, yes, I was disappointed with the choice that the 5 members in modhaus made.

The reason is of course Jaden Jeong's involvement in the conditioned that caused the members' suffering. I honestly do not care to "respect" the members' choice when, firstly, they're public figures, which means they're in a position where they open themselves to judgement, having surpassed what it means to be a regular person into an overman; hence, idol (no this isn't lore) (yes it is) and it is parasocial to think we as fans owe them the kind of blind devout respect that is reserved for people you know and are close to. We, of course, need to respect them as people even if they are idols which leads to my next point. Secondly, they're adult women who are capable of making their own choices. It is only patronizing, infantilising and self delusionary to cheer them on for every choice they make void of criticism. If I respect them as a person, that means I care about the decisions they make enough to be able to disagree with them. The only decisions you respect unconditionally are from your God (if you have faith) or someone who has got you fucked up.

of course all of this is only my opinion to be clear ^^;

So to continue, I don't respect their decision to join modhaus. However I do accept their decision and think of them no less as people - that's very important to me for people to be aware of! That may have sounded harsh but I only have strong feelings because I care.

When it comes to modhaus vs ctd, to ME it feels like a faction of people who are willing to ignore a history of mistreatment to blindly follow their idols because that's what idolatry is versus a faction who are distrusting and reluctant to give a second chance to a man (and his company) who have done them wrong. And of course bias vs bias.

Regarding why I don't hold ctd to the same standard as modhaus; one is an established company with another group under their belt and the other is a company that formed because Hyunjin asked really niceys. The "mistakes" that modhaus are making, like having Jaden and doing NFTs and having loss of the members' autonomy to give fans control as a business model (to be frank, I don't care about missing english subtitles or those small things, its whatever) are much more severe to me than CTD fumbling the bag in ways that only affect them financially. Sorry I don't care about them picking venues that are too big for them on a concert, I don't think it's that big a deal.

In this way, I think cloo vs ourii, ctd vs modhaus, is much more than the preference people have for the idols actually in the companies but rather an ideological thing. Can you put the past (that isn't yours to begin with) behind you to stan a group with no guarantee of being completely safe and in control, or are you going to be wary of a company that has done little to demonstrate how it's protecting the girls' best interests. At least that's how it looks to me.

And it's weird how we dont see Chuu & Yves akgaes right? And I think that's because the companies are such unknown elements that it's nowhere near as polarising to support them, like there's no reason not to.

And I do think there is a lot of us vs them going on. (some) People who are artms member stans who have become full-blooded ouriis have made it their mission to find any excuse to bring CTD down - maybe out of a guilty conscience vengeance for the criticism that modhaus has been getting. And the same can definitely be said about cloos who just want more reasons to shit on modhaus even though the problems are inconsequential (see? I'm not wholly biased)

In summary I just think it's sad that it's had to have been this divisive. If the loona members weren't in the position that they were - that no company was willing to accept them bar modhaus, and the members who got out first didn't feel obligated to go to modhaus, since CTD - and other places - weren't an option, things maybe would've turned out differently. Or maybe they wouldn't have, and there will always be fanwars regardless.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

oh i thought you just ignored my posts whenever that happens

the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

[nanistar]

i saw ur nightheart posts and i noticed u hate him quite a lot and im curious for the reasons why! i hope it doesnt sound rude! its a genuine question out of curiousity not an attempt for you to justify ur opinion, personally im aloof when it comes to nightheart i think hes just an edgelord tbh

nah you're not rude dw i get it. tbh i don't hate HIM as a character, i mean he's kinda annoying but whatever. instead i hate everything about him as a written extension of the authors and their views. nightheart isn't real, and doesn't have opinions but they authors do and they speak thru him to a young and volatile audience that might not know better. (which is also why i don't buy the "unreliable narrator" thing)

they twist the female characters around him to fit their narrative of "poor misunderstood sadboy" surrounded by "cruel mean women". squirrelflight, sparkpelt and even finchlight already had personalities, squirrelflight especially is known for bending rules for what she views as "the right thing", so why would she turn around and scream at him for wanting to change his name? why would finchlight, in one book, support his name change and stick up for him, only for in the next book to completely turn around and call him disrespectful and selfish. they needed to create more drama for him. before his warrior ceremony, he pulls off dangerous stunts trying to show off during his test, and it ends up blowing up in his face and fails, and he doesn't see this as HIS failing, he blames squirrelflight and his mentor for "expecting more of him because he's related to firestar" which??? and for that plot point to be given to him instead of his mother sparkpelt who is multiple times described as the spitting image of firestar? but she's like, totally fine with it. she's never given anything to do ever until she becomes a mother, (except disagree with alderheart like once and be the "rude misunderstanding woman" for his story too.)

and speaking of mothers... sparkpelt lost her mate as she gave birth, two heavily traumatizing things happening simultaneously. she had post-partum depression for a while, which is a serious and debilitating illness that KILLS people. yet she was still able to feed the kits, she didn't abandon them. they had plenty of attention from their family and from the other nursery cats. they were never once neglected. she was only out of commission for about a month before squirrelflight helped her back on her feet but that doesn't matter, because for the narrative, (and by the fandom) she is treated like a horrible abusive mother who neglected her kids on purpose. which. first of all crookedstar couldn't even LOOK at his daughter for the first week of her life and he is heralded as nothing but a loving father. second, nightheart goes on and on about how she left him and how she is hardly his mother because (lilyheart? i dont remember) one of the other queens helped raise them for the first month. the erins tie the worth of their female characters to how good of a mother they are, and any deviations from the nuclear family with a working husband and a housewife are automatically bad in their eyes,( yet they killed off ferncloud because she was "too annoying" for being a loving nursery mom.) (also think about how anti-adoption they are. the second the po3 secret was out, suddenly brambleclaw and squilf were never their parents despite literally raising them) they are horribly misogynistic, and their female characters are just pawns for either manpain or to be baby machines. this doesn't even begin to touch on how boy crazy the female protags have been lately, bristlefrost was interesting at first but eventually just turned into a wife for rootspring and then fridged for manpain, and sunbeam suddenly deciding shes in love with nightheart even though he stalked her and creeped her out???

adding on to this point, during ashfur's takeover, sparkpelt is EXILED from thunderclan (after being mauled by dogs, and by who she believes to be her father btw) she BEGS imposterstar to let her stay because of her family but he refuses. finchpaw chooses to go with her mother but flamepaw stays behind. then in his POV parts, he goes on and on about how she walked out on him!

again, nightheart the character: not real. he's a puppet for the authors to speak their misogynistic rhetoric. i would LOVE if he was just kinda a whiny emo dirtbag, or an actual unreliable narrator and whenever he complained everyone around him rolled their eyes and was like "ok nightheart" . remember that scene in meet the robinsons where bowler hat guy is telling his tragic backstory and he's talking about ppl at school and his narration says "they alll HATED me" while everyone in the scene was like "hi goob cool binder!" or "hey wanna come hang out with me later?" THAT'S (hilarious) but also what an unreliable narrator is. if that was nightheart it would be so funny. but instead, he HAS to be right, he HAS to be mistreated by all these mean horrible women. sorry for ranting, i promise im not mad at you.

[azurlily]

Dont ask where this came from, but I was tired and came across a tumblr post abt means lesbians. My first thought was, mean lesbian gf smut???." So now you get: Mean Lesbian NSFW!

She's a bit of a yandere, but that's okay we love her anyways.

TW: The three G's. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss!

Mean Lesbian

NSFW

[ML stands for Mean Lesbian, I dont have a name for this character yet.]

The whole Mean lesbian stereotype never fit in my eyes, I mean becoming nice for the sake of your girlfriend? Yeah no, how about making your girlfriend worse than you, for the sake of yourself? That's right up my alley, but when you like a girl that's as sweet as apple pie...it takes time to get her to your pace.

"All I'm saying is that she deserved it, I don't care if people think I'm doing it because I like her. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She was flirting with you."

Very recently a bunch of nude pictures of some random girl had gotten out around school. The culprit being none other than ML, she'd been out snd proud about it. Knowing damn well no one could, nor would do shit. Her daddy has money, her moms a lawyer, how are you meant to fight someone like that?

You aren't, and that's the point. No on is meant to be able to fight someone with power like that. So no one does, and ML likes it that way. No matter how much her sweetheart disagrees.

Quiet whimpers and soft sighs bang around the room, while ML was having her little monologue her girlfriend was in a sticky situation.

On her knees, head laying against ML's thighs, a thick ball gag in her mouth, and pink silk adorning her skin. Soft cries attempt to leave the girls mouth, although it's all in vain. ML runs her hand through the girls hair, and dark smirk on her face.

"Oh pretty girl, my baby girl. You look beautiful you know, you look like a piece of art. Ready to be torn in two, just for me..."

Fake innocence runs thickly in her voice, she wants you to think she pitys you. She wants your dumb brain to think she cares,(which she does) think she loves your weak, useless body.

ML's hand grab at your body, slowly pulling you up on the bed. She's picked up heavier girls than you, she used to be a cheerleader and then she didn't even enjoy picking them up. She gently sets you up, just on her lap. Soft hands running up and down your back, up and down your ass.

Her face is bright red, while ML has had plenty of girls in her bed before, you're her favorite. Which is exactly why she made you her public girlfriend a while ago. Well, you don't know you're her girlfriend, but everyone else does. That's good enough for her!

You feel two long fingers press against your entrance, her long slender fingers scoop up some of your slick. She puts the two fingers in her mouth and sucks on them. She continues this activity by rubbing you with her fingers, giving you just the tiniest sparks of pleasure. Then taking it all away as she tastes you.

You whine louder and louder, you like foreplay but this was too much. You'd pass out before even getting to actually cum as this rate! You whine and attempt to move around, quickly remembering how she has you tied up.

Your arms tied behind your back, your feet tied but not your legs. She wants easy access, one of the rops running down your back onto your ass. And tightly around your chest. ML mentally praises herself for such amazing work.

ML hears your whines and sees your breaking point arising.

"Oh, I know baby, you wanna cum so badly! So let's make a game out of this, I'm going to take that pretty gag off and ask you a few questions. For everyone you get right; I fuck you more. For every wrong answer; I spank you. Seem fair?"

ML didn't wait for you to nod your head, she took the gag off and asked the first question:

"Am I better at fucking you than your exes?"

You feel two long finger slide inside of you, while her other hand is on your ass. She's just waiting for a wrong answer, or maybe she's waiting to reward you...

"Y-yes you're better than them!"

You answered as honestly as possible, and you were greatly rewarded for it. You feel her fingers pump in and out of you, you whine loudly as moves them through you at a painstaking slow pace. She slows even more as she asks the second question:

"Good answer. Second question is easy: would you ever cheat on me...or have you?"

Cheat? You two aren't even dating, right? Right? You ponder for a second too long and a sharp hand slams down on your ass. Your cry out, but it doesn't matter and she does it once more. After the second time she stops, you don't dare move or speak for that matter. Her fingers stop and you almost cry at the loss, you dont though because you know what would happen.

"You took too long to answer, I'm talking it as a yes. And because of that I'll be asking something different for my third question. Were you actually flirting with that girl, hm? Or did I just take it the wrong way and...accidentally ruin her reputation?"

There wasn't any anger in her voice, quote the opposite, she was happy and you knew damn why. You've seen how obsessed she gets over someone, you're the example after all. The worst part is that you hated that girl, that's exactly why you were in fact flirting with her. You knew exactly what she would do, and you loved it.

"I- I was flirting with her, why are you jealous? Green isn't a good color on you-"

She gently flicks you on the back of your head, you don't need to look up to know the look on her face. Angry with a hint if pride.

"Hm, wrong answer."