#which theyve said before as the reason why theyre so big in the past

[dexaroth]

first its 'lets go to a nutritionist, losing weight would help you move around better!' which apparently did help but I personally can't notice and now it's 'you're looking a little bit too thin -_- lets go back to eating smiley fries and chicken nuggets like we did when I was like 7. if you truly care. 😑

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[akechicrimes]

7 or 71 for either shuake or yukamitsu [big eye emojis]

7. “I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere.”

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

*

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work (which Goro dubiously eyeballs for a whole four seconds before picking up) and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

Well, neither Goro nor Akira own a car for Akira to drive, so that means Akira got hit on foot. Goro is very calm, and has no immediate panic response to that, because he’s a rational and responsible adult. “Are you dead?” Goro asks.

“Probably not.”

“And is there a reason you’re calling me instead of the ambulance?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I think I have a bruise on one of my legs, if that counts. But I was riding your bike when it happened, so the bike got totaled, so, you know. They’ve got the same model you had, but there’s tons of new colors, if you want pictures.”

Goro takes a very long, very deep breath. Goro is very, extremely calm. “Anything is fine,” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, hundred percent. I even landed on my feet; you should’ve seen it.”

“You should go to the ER anyway,” says Goro, in a voice that is truly the epitome of calm.

“I mean, I guess I could, but that seems like a waste of time. And I don’t want to just leave your bike in the middle of the road.”

“Throw it away if it’s wrecked, then.”

“But it deserves a proper send-off.”

“You’re doing this to me on my birthday, Kurusu.”

“I’ll go to the ER if you go with me,” says Akira hopefully, who is a perennially bad influence who is of the opinion that Goro should have just said he’d be ‘working from home’ and spent the day with him.

Goro takes a look at his calendar, tallies up how many meeting he’d have to reschedule, and waits a whole five seconds before he lets himself say, “Fine,” because Akira just said that he’s fine and Goro isn’t upset and everything is so calm that Goro can wait five seconds before agreeing to leave work. “I’ll see you at Leblanc.”

“Wait, wait, which color for the bike? They’ve got green, blue, a red, a kind of fun rose-gold thing, which is a bit excessive considering it’s a bike, and teal, and a kind of blue and orange Naruto-y thing…”

“Anything is fine.” Goro stops. “Except the last one.”

“Red it is! See you in a bit.”

“Don’t ride that bike back to Leblanc,” says Goro, as if lightning might strike twice on the same day on the same man riding the same model bike of the same color, but Akira’s already hung up. Goro speed-drafts a rescheduling email, copy-pastes it to four different people, and then sprints out the office door without even a goodbye to his coworkers.

*

Friday, 11:16 AM

FUTABA: hey

FUTABA: hey goro

FUTABA: hey gorororororororororo

FUTABA: HEY MR AKECHI KURUSU

GORO: If it’s about the traffic accident, I heard about it.

GORO: I’m going back to Leblanc now.

FUTABA: no it’s smthg else

FUTABA: well it is about the accident but i got smthg else for u

FUTABA sent MOV19.mp4

FUTABA: ripped this from the traffic cam

GORO: Is this footage of the accident?

FUTABA: yeehaw

GORO: …Thank you for the offer, but I don’t know if I want to see this.

FUTABA: ok i hear u but i promise it’s hilarious

FUTABA: and also u might feel better if u see it

FUTABA: like idk what he told u on the phone but like

FUTABA: look the car even slowed down at the intersection

FUTABA: the dude was obeying traffic laws and everything he was doing something like ten under the speed limit

FUTABA: the car ENTIRELY missed akira

FUTABA: got the bike full on

FUTABA: and then he just rolls up across the hood and up the windshield like a looney toon

FUTABA: rip ur bike tho it just goes cronch

FUTABA: instant pretzel

FUTABA: ty bichael for ur sacrifice

FUTABA: also idk i figured you

FUTABA: might wanna see for urself that he’s okay

FUTABA: like u can see him stand up at the end and he’s not even confused or anything he’s super duper ok

FUTABA: he’s not bullshitting u over the phone and pretending he’s ok when he’s not ok

FUTABA: u know how he does lmao

GORO: …Huh.

GORO: He really did land on his feet for a whole second there, didn’t he?

FUTABA: yeah like a cat

FUTABA: it’s nuts tbh

FUTABA: and then he remembers he’s a human and falls on his ass LMAO

FUTABA: show it to morgana i want his professional kitty cat opinion on the matter

FUTABA: rate akira’s near death experience

FUTABA: also the driver was v nice and v apologetic and he gave akira his insurance

FUTABA: but i have his home address and work address and phone number and the name of his dog if you want it

GORO: Just the insurance will be fine.

FUTABA: kk

GORO: …And thanks for sending the video.

GORO: Even though I already knew he was fine.

FUTABA: you know those like

FUTABA: itty bitty teeny weeny micro dogs

FUTABA: that are like four and a half pounds

FUTABA: but they think they can take any mfer on the block out of sheer will alone

FUTABA: and theyve always got their eyeballs bulging out and they pick fights with 70 pound dogs

FUTABA: and they have only two emotions which are rage and anxiety and they shake constantly because theyre only four pounds and they have So Much Emotion and nowhere to put it so they vibrate at the speed of sound

GORO: Is this a metaphor about me.

FUTABA: it’s a metaphor about you

FUTABA: because i can hear your shaky angry anxious four pound vibrating all the way from the other side of tokyo

GORO: You are the smallest, angriest, most anxious person I know, who regularly picks fights with international hacking organizations and billion-dollar companies.

GORO: And I, somehow, am the angry shaky dog.

FUTABA: your husband got hit by a car on ur birthday

GORO: I know that.

GORO: I do not need to be reminded.

FUTABA: ah yeah

FUTABA: sorry

GORO: He’s fine.

GORO: He said he’s fine.

GORO: And from this footage, he’s more than fine.

FUTABA: he is super double extra fine with a side of fine

GORO: Unless this footage was in any way edited.

GORO: And unless he was faking his call, somehow.

GORO: In which case, I’m going to walk into Leblanc and find out that he was just pretending to be okay so he could hear my voice one last time and Leblanc will be swarming with police officers to break the news the newly bereaved.

GORO: But that’s not going to happen.

GORO: Because Akira is fine, and I’m perfectly fine.

FUTABA: im rly glad to hear my man

GORO: This footage isn’t edited, is it.

FUTABA: no

GORO: Are you very sure?

GORO: Videos are easily modified.

GORO: Would you even know if it was edited?

FUTABA: yes im a literal wizard of course i would know

FUTABA: where are u even getting this idea from

GORO: The entire series of events is unrealistic, isn’t it?

GORO: You said yourself that it was almost like something out of a cartoon.

GORO: The likelihood that someone gets hit by a car and comes out of it entirely no worse for wear is practically ridiculous.

FUTABA: i ripped that film straight from the cam it is entirely unedited

GORO: But how can you be sure? Did you see him in live camera?

FUTABA: i mean no but he texted me

GORO: What if that was his dying text.

FUTABA: i rly dont know if his dying text would have been the “i lived bitch” meme with the cat filter

FUTABA: he’s fine dude

FUTABA: that’s why i sent you the video

GORO: I KNOW he’s fine.

GORO: I’m asking if there’s any solid evidence.

FUTABA: THE VIDEO

GORO: I’m going to call him. Brb

FUTABA: so what he can tell you he’s fine AGAIN and you’ll be like

FUTABA: “oh but what if it was secretly a pod person who stole his body after he died tragically after calling me one last time to hear my voice”

FUTABA: he is FINE

FUTABA: like go ahead and call him if u want but

FUTABA: the only person who was gonna edit that footage was me

FUTABA: and if he were dead i would not be functioning enough to be doing any kinda photoshop like that

FUTABA: let alone LIE to you jesus christ!!!!!

FUTABA: god

FUTABA: i pronounce you King Shaky Dog

FUTABA: the tiniest and angriest and shakiest and most anxious four pound goblin

FUTABA: i will reclaim my title tomorrow

FUTABA: for now it’s my birthday gift to you

FUTABA: the title of Shaky Dog allows you to go absolutely apeshit and nobody will judge you

GORO: You know I hate birthday presents.

FUTABA: did you call akira

GORO: I hate birthday presents so much that I will be refusing my title as King Shaky Dog and will henceforth not be going ape shit.

FUTABA: ok so

FUTABA: i didnt mean to

FUTABA: get snippy with you or anything

GORO: It’s fine.

GORO: I wasn’t… exactly polite, myself.

GORO: So.

FUTABA: um

FUTABA: you really can call him if you want

FUTABA: there’s nothing wrong with that

FUTABA: between u and me……………………. i definitely did that more than once for a lot lesser reasons than someone getting hit by a car

GORO: My stop is in less than thirty seconds.

GORO: I will probably live.

FUTABA: lmao ok well

FUTABA: if u change ur mind about losing ur shit then please know i gave u that footage in the first place because i think if something like that happened to MY partner i would mcfreakin lose it

FUTABA: speaking of her

FUTABA: sumi says happy birth btw

FUTABA: but cuter because u know how she is

FUTABA: “happy birthday crow-senpai~~~~~~~~” in her shy voice that makes u wanna die

FUTABA: ofoogofhghhfoghfhhghfh g gh SUMI ur so cute ilysm

GORO: Tell her I said thanks.

GORO: And stop telling me how much you love her and use the ring you made me go ring shopping with you for.

FUTABA: HHHHH

FUTABA: im being cyberbullied for being a cowardly lesbian

GORO: I’m at my stop, by the way, so I’m going offline.

FUTABA: which tbh i probably deserve

FUTABA: oh kk see u

FUTABA: watch the video again mr shaky dog

FUTABA: akira is fine

FUTABA: everyone is alive

FUTABA: you are one year older

FUTABA: happy birthday goro

*

The bike is totaled.

Akira isn’t the sort of person to dump a piece of trash right in front of Leblanc, but it’s hard to miss sticking out of the nearby public trash bin. The back wheel has exploded into serrated wheel-spokes and limb rubber bits that Akira’s shoved into the trash as best as he could. The body of the bike is crushed in on itself, exposing its sharp hollow innards; the handlebars resemble a badly-tied knot. The front wheel is left to stick up and out, creaking gently, spinning overhead from half a hinge like a head not quite fully severed.

The cafe is empty except for its usual barista who, of course, is a very normal and mild-mannered barista, who has nothing to do with the several hundred millions worth of dollars of repatriated art hiding in the attic en route back to South Korea. That would be illegal, of course, and Akira Kurusu-Akechi has never once in his life done anything illegal in the name of what’s morally right. “Welcome back, dear,” says Akira, and hangs up a coffee mug to dry, and it’s so normal that Goro is convinced that either he’s experiencing yesterday, or maybe he’s re-experiencing the year 2016 all over again, or maybe Akira really is dead and this is just his ghost.

Goro sits in his usual spot at the bar. Same chair, sixteen years later. Unbelievable. Maybe Goro’s giving him a little bit of a dumbfounded look, because Akira tilts his head, leans across the bar, and pecks Goro on the cheek.

“Where’s Sakura?” Goro asks.

“Having his midday old man nap. So,” says Akira, looking pleased with himself, “either we can close Leblanc for an hour and raid the kitchen and make lunch, or we can close Leblanc and go out and have a fancy lunch. Your choice because I already made dinner reservations and we’re doing those no matter what.”

Goro really means to give him an answer, because Akira really does love Goro’s birthday every year and never fails to pick someplace nice for the day, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “Did you ride the new bike back home?”

“Yeah, I did. Figured I might as well take it for a test drive. It’s a good bike.”

“Why didn’t you take the subway?” Goro says sharply.

“Didn’t have my card.”

“You just rode the bike all the way across Tokyo?”

“It wasn’t all the way across Tokyo, just a bit away and back… Goro?”

Ah, Goro’s going to become one of those people who has a meltdown any time their loved one gets on a plane or a train or ksomething else associated with heebie-jeebie nonsense magical thinking. Great. Fantastic. God dammit.

“Do you really want me to go to the ER?” Akira asks eventually.

Goro really wants Akira to have never gotten hit in the first place, but people don’t get what they want and sometimes the universe decides to send one bad fucking driver through a red light and take away Akira’s entire life in a split second—one mistake, a coincidence at the wrong place and time, and the boy who fought God and won is a smear of bones on the pavement.

This would be different if it were sixteen years ago, and Goro had the power to bend people’s minds in half until they broke, or dive into the deepest, bloodiest parts of the collective psyche and pummel the worst of them to a pulp—but what’s he going to do here? Lambast a guy who was going ten miles under the speed limit and just wasn’t looking the right way? Is he going to summon a new Persona from his soul and undo time itself?

Can he do anything if the universe decides, one day, that Akira’s time on this earth is up? He spent all those years desperate for power, and then abusing that power, and then desperately guilty for having abused that power, and then desperately trying to get up that power, and now here he is with the power to do jack shit when his husband almost gets run over and if the Metaverse were still around he swears he would have carved Loki from his own soul out of sheer fury alone—

“No,” says Goro sharply, and stands up. “It’s nothing. I’m not hungry, and I’m going for a walk. Please don’t text me unless it’s an emergency.”

“What—hey! Goro, wait, wait—”

“I’m getting some fresh air!”

Akira’s scrambling to get out from behind the bar. “Didn’t you just get here—?”

Goro spins around and points a finger at Akira like it’s his fault: “You were the one,” he snarls, “who promised, when we got married, that we’d always be together. And now you get hit on a bike, and then stand up like it’s nothing and—and get on another bike and go cycling around the exact same streets where you got hit—? Aren’t you scared? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Akira falls silent. “I didn’t go back to the same intersection,” he says at last.

Goro can’t take this. “I’m taking a walk.”

“Wait wait wait, Goro, just—” Akira grabs Goro’s hand and Goro has the sudden urge to yank his arm away, but Akira’s hand is also incredibly real, just like it felt this morning and yesterday and the day before that and all the days Goro ever took Akira’s living, breathing body for granted. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. He was going, I dunno, twenty miles per hour at most. It was an intersection. He’d slowed down beforehand and everything, and I didn’t even get hurt on the fall.”

Right, because Goro’s the one who’s just freaking out for no reason. Right. Okay. Because that’s how he is, isn’t he, always being dramatic over little things. Right. Of course. This is fine.

When Goro doesn’t turn around, Akira moves around to the front to look him in the eye. “Sorry if I made you worry,” says Akira. “But it was really nothing at all.”

“Maybe it was nothing this time,” says Goro forcefully. “But what about the next time—the next car—the next time you borrow my bike? What about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Literally any one of the hundreds and hundreds of days coming up where you could easily die just as easily as you died today.”

“Then I’ll escape death hundreds and hundreds of times,” says Akira.

Goro scoffs.

“I mean it. I was a Phantom Thief, wasn’t I? I escaped death more than once. Did it again today. I’ll do it as many times as it takes until we’re both old and grey.” Akira takes Goro’s hand, but it’s Goro who laces their fingers together.

“Sometimes it doesn’t work that way,” says Goro, like a bad echo of his ten-year-old self, trying to figure out what kind of world would let his mother die.

“I’m just keeping my promise,” says Akira. “I told you that I’d never leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sometimes that’s not your decision to make.”

“It is and I’ve decided I’m immortal until you die.”

Goro scoffs. “Don’t be arrogant.”

“Is it being arrogant? I didn’t let death steal you away from me. I’m not letting it steal me away from you, either.”

“Sometimes…” Goro begins.

“'Sometimes’ what?”

'Sometimes’ what?

Sometimes things get worse. People die early, and unfulfilled; they streak through the sky in a blaze and then wink out, without even a burst of fire to show for it. Sometimes nobody gets a say in what happens, and plans don’t pan out, and wishes aren’t granted, and everything happens for no good reason and no good end.

Today, Goro Akechi-Kurusu is thirty-four years old, about sixteen years older than he ever figured he was going to be. He has a career in a non-profit for maladjusted youth getting reacclimated to school systems and preparing for college, instead of the career in law he figured he’d have if he actually lived that long. He doesn’t just have one friend, but multiple friends. He has, unbelievably, a husband, which honestly still floors him to this day, considering that he was and maybe still is convinced that marriage is a scam devised by asshole men like his father to manipulate young women into a false sense of security. The other day, Akira mentioned that he wanted to get a cat to keep Morgana company, maybe in a few years when they moved into a pet-friendly apartment, and in Goro’s head, it made sense that they would both be alive and together entire years in the future for them to get a cat.

Today is already an impossible day, isn’t it?

“Sometimes,” says Goro flatly, “you say ridiculous things, and I think that you could actually pull it off.”

Akira grins. Akira leans in for their regular greeting kiss when one of them comes home, but this time, Goro closes his eyes, leans into it, really tries to memorize the feel of Akira’s lips on his. Every line and scar on his hands, the odd ends of his fingernails, that familiar way he waits for four beats, then takes a breath through his nose and kisses Goro again, and never can quite seem to avoid kissing him more on the bottom lip than the top. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he says plainly not three inches from Goro’s face. “It’s bad form to leave a calling card and never show up.”

Goro smiles. “Then I won’t let you break your word.”

When Akira pulls away, he kisses the back of Goro’s hand, like a proper gentleman thief of old. “Happy birthday, dear,” he says, and surprisingly, despite the way this awful day started off, Goro thinks that Akira might be able to pull that promise off, too.

[howlitecritical]

New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense  Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose:  And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation.  She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!  

[fandom-madnessess]

Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood ❆ Rating: G, Word Count: 1751 ❆ Human AU, Single Parent Magnus, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Christmas Cookies, Holidays

For @gingerangelofthursday for the @bytheangeldaily Holiday Gift Exchange. I hope you like it, and have an amazing 2019! ♥

‘Brought the flour you asked,’ Alec says as he steps into the kitchen. He looks and smells cold and windswept, his cheeks and nose red. Snowflakes are melting in his hair.

Magnus is always happy to see his downstairs neighbour, but right now he’s most excited about the bag of flour Alec is carrying under his arm. ‘Thank you.’ Magnus takes the bag and immediately starts measuring out what he needs.

‘Hi, Alec,’ Madzie says a little distractedly. She’s sitting at the kitchen island, a huge sheet of cookie dough rolled out in front of her. She’s carefully cutting out shapes with an assortment of cookie cutters.

‘What are you guys making?’

Magnus vaguely registers the rustling of Alec taking off his coat and the scraping of chair legs as Alec sits down next to Madzie.

‘Cookies,’ Madzie says like it should be obvious.

Alec huffs out a laugh. ‘I can see that. But what for? And why this many? Are you and your dad going to eat nothing but cookies this Christmas?’

‘They’re for school, so children who don’t have money can have a nice Christmas.’

‘Charity bake sale,’ Magnus adds.

‘Ah. Do you need any help?’

Magnus can’t help but smile at Madzie’s narrowed eyes as she looks at Alec, then glances at her dad. Can she trust Alec with this? They’ve both tasted some of his cooking before and it wasn’t… great. Slowly, she hands him a Christmas tree cookie cutter.

‘You can use this one.’

‘Thank you.’ Alec glances at Magnus, eyebrows raised. Magnus quickly goes back to his dough.

They find a rhythm. Magnus makes the dough, Alec helps Madzie cut out the shapes—under Madzie’s strict supervision—and then Magnus puts the cookies in the oven. After a couple hours they have about a hundred cookies in all shapes and sizes. There are quite a few Christmas trees and Santas, but Madzie wanted everyone to have a special cookie, so there are dreidels and snowmen, and a couple other shapes that Magnus can’t really define but he’s sure his daughter has a plan for.

‘Shouldn’t we decorate them?’ Alec asks, already going for the glazing and sprinkles.

‘No!’ Madzie shouts and latches onto his outstretched arm. ‘We have to let them cool down first.’

Alec presses his lips together in a barely suppressed smile and winks at Magnus. Magnus quickly looks away, so he doesn’t betray Alec with a smile of his own.

‘Well, what should we do in the meantime?’ Alec asks Madzie, easily turning her grip on his arm into them holding hands, and follows her to the living room.

‘Can we watch a movie?’

‘Sure, but maybe let Alec pick this time, sweetpea.’

‘I pick Princess and the Frog,’ Alec says.

Madzie marches triumphantly to the television.

‘You really shouldn’t give in to her so easily,’ Magnus sighs.

‘I know, but it’s hard to say no to those pigtails.’

Magnus snorts. ‘She had you wrapped around her little finger from the first time you met.’

‘True,’ Alec chuckles. He shrugs. ‘I don’t mind. So far, she’s never abused her powers.’

‘Are you sure?’ Magnus nods to where the Disney logo is appearing on the screen.

‘It’s an amazing movie,’ Alec protests.

‘Well, while you two are going to watch your amazing movie, I’m going to clean up the kitchen,’ Magnus says, pouting. ‘All on my own. With no one to help me.’

‘Make sure to clean up yourself a little, too,’ Alec teases. Then his hand is cradling Magnus’ cheek and his thumb swipes across Magnus’ cheekbone. Heat gathers where Alec’s palm is warm against his skin, then spreads through his entire body. Magnus forgets to breath for a second. ‘You’re covered in flour.’

When Alec removes his hand Magnus barely resists the urge to chase after that warm pressure.

The kitchen isn’t too big of a mess, but he does need to make room for the decorating. After a quick stop in the bathroom to wash his face, and a change of shirt, he joins Madzie and Alec on the couch.

‘We ordered Chinese,’ Alec tells him. ‘With extra spring rolls for you. For cleaning the kitchen.’ He turns his head and throws Magnus a beatific smile.

‘Thanks. And–‘

‘Shhh!’ Madzie glares at them both, then focusses back on the movie.

Magnus raises his eyebrows and catches Alec’s eye, then quickly looks away before he bursts out laughing.

They have dinner in front of the TV. The movie ends and Madzie drags them back to the kitchen to decorate the cookies. She gives them very specific instructions for how each is to be decorated, then stage whispers to Magnus to keep a close eye on Alec. Alec throws Magnus an affronted look when Madzie can’t see him, but Magnus supports his daughter on this one. Alec needs to be watched when it comes to preparing any kind of food, since, according to Madzie, he can even mess up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

‘Are you going to helps sell the cookies?’ Madzie asks, looking up from the snowman she’s decorating and turning to Alec.

‘I don’t think I’m allowed.’ At Madzie’s confused frown Alec explains, ‘I’m not a parent or family.’

‘Oh.’

‘Although, I could always pretend to be your dad’s boyfriend. You think that’ll get me in?’

Madzie turns with shining eyes to Magnus, silently pleading, but there’s something else there, too. Something that means she’s plotting.

‘Sure,’ Magnus says. ‘Alec can pretend to be my boyfriend to help sell the cookies.’

‘Yesss,’ Madzie grins, casts another look between the two men, and goes back to decorating.

Magnus can’t remember the last time he had this much fun, or felt so completely at peace. He doesn’t want the night to ever end, but Madzie has school the next day, which means she has to go to bed on time.

He sends her off to put on her pyjamas and brush her teeth, while he and Alec clean up all the spilled glazing and sprinkles. She’s barely in the hallway when she turns around and fixes both men with her gaze.

‘You can each have one cookie tonight,’ she says. ‘Just one.’

‘Thank you,’ Alec says, a serious look on her face.

‘We’ll only take one each,’ Magnus promises.

Madzie nods and continues on her way.

‘She’ll count them tomorrow, won’t she?’ Alec asks.

‘Oh, definitely,’ Magnus says. ‘She’ll get up extra early to make sure she has the time to count them twice.’

Alec chuckles, and starts loading the dishwasher.

‘She’s a great kid, Magnus.’

‘I know.’

‘She’s lucky to have you.’

‘Thank you.’ It’s barely more than a whisper, and it’s a struggle to get the words past the lump in his throat.

Madzie calls for Magnus when she’s ready for bed, and when he walks in, she’s already lying under the covers, the book she’s going to read by her flashlight barely tucked under her pillow. Magnus pretends he doesn’t see it. He’ll check on her in an hour.

‘Daddy,’ Madzie starts the second he walks into the room.

‘Yes, sweetpea?’

‘What if you asked Alec to really be your boyfriend? Then he wouldn’t have to pretend to come to the bake sale.’

‘Madzie…’

She sits up. ‘You smile more when he’s here. And he smiles when he looks at you.’

Magnus sits down on the edge of the mattress with a sigh. ‘Well, we’re friends. We like spending time together.’

Madzie looks unimpressed. ‘He’s here all the time. He’s come over every day this week.’

‘Well…’ Magnus has no idea what to say. He’s getting called out on his crush by his own daughter. ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’

‘It will.’

‘And you would be okay with that? With me dating Alec?’

‘I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t.’ Madzie’s expression goes a little sad. ‘You should be happy, daddy. You’re always happy when we’re hanging out with Alec.’

For the second time that night, there’s a lump stuck in Magnus’ throat. He pulls Madzie into a hug and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

‘You are wise beyond your years, sweetpea.’

‘I am the best at English and Maths,’ Madzie reminds him.

‘I know. I saw your report cart.’ Magnus lets her back down and tucks her in. ‘You brush your teeth?’

‘Yes.’ There are very few things that Magnus’ loves more than the exasperated tone his daughter uses when she says this.

He presses one more kiss to her forehead, and makes sure she’s tucked in tight. ‘Good night, sweetpea.’

‘Good night.’

Magnus turns off the light and closes her door. He hears the snick of the flashlight turning on before he’s taken a step.

‘What are you thinking about?’

Magnus blinks. He’s sitting next to Alec on the couch, wine glass in one hand, a cookie in the other. He’d been so lost in thought about what Madzie had said, that he hadn’t realized he’d sat down, or even come back to the living room. He shakes his head and throws Alec a small smile.

‘Nothing.’

Alec raises an eyebrow. ‘You haven’t said a word since you came back from saying good night to Madzie. Is everything okay?’

‘Everything is fine. It’s just…’ Magnus looks at Alec. He really looks, and what he sees is that Alec is perfectly at home here. He doesn’t behave like a guest; helping with the washing up without being asked, ordering food, pouring drinks for the two of them. He even has his own key. ‘It’s just something Madzie says.’

Alec doesn’t say anything, just waits for Magnus to continue.

‘She says that I smile more when you’re here. And that you smile whenever you look at me.’

A blush creeps up Alec’s cheeks, but he doesn’t look away. Instead, he smiles and says, ‘You give me plenty of reason to smile.’

Magnus feels the heat creeping into his own cheeks, but he doesn’t look away either. ‘She also said I should ask you to really be my boyfriend.’

‘Well, we wouldn’t have to lie to the other parents and teachers tomorrow.’

‘Is that a yes?’ Magnus’ heart hammers in his chest, full of hope.

‘We haven’t even gone on a date yet.’

‘Do you need a date?’

Alec shakes his head, leaning in, giving Magnus plenty of time to pull back. ‘No,’ he whispers into the space between them.

Magnus closes the distance. Alec tastes of sugar and wine. And it’s perfect.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

instead of me making a post where i briefly rate btvs characters im gonna do a post im sure ive already made abt how in the first book alone its shown that narnia is an unreasonable twilight zone to deal with and the lore is wild and aslan is sort of a jerk and bad with dealing with children / dealing with the world he created; or: the battle of the reader vs cs lewis

ok first of all. this book completely wrongs edmund. cs lewis is determined to have us believe that he is a Bad Sort but? not so much that when he's "redeemed" we have to doubt for even a moment that he's now Good Forever. and the reasons the reader keeps being given about why we should be disgusted with edmund are incredibly weak and often bemusing

to start with, cs lewis hates boarding schools which is probably because they could be awful and so he throws out the reason that edmund used to be as nice and purehearted as his siblings until boarding school spoilt his immortal soul? were peter and susan taught at home or in public school then? if lewis was making a comment on how terrible boarding school is, why isnt edmund given any sympathy for this by the narrator or his siblings who just seem largely annoyed by him?

and since at the start the kids are being sent off from home in the middle of a world war their dad is off in and have to go to a boring house with an uncle? who for some reason never like, bothers to speak to them or see them ever. tf, dude. and theyre in england in the first place. anyhow, the fact that edmund being in a bad mood over this is supposed to be evidence of his crappiness is a touch unreasonable. he's like what, 8-11? so much of this book hinges on his character needing to be saved from his own badness that its sort of unforgivable that said badness really doesnt exist. hates his terrible school? hates his terrible situation? difficult? fights with siblings? how is this meant to be fit for A Just and Divine Damnation. why is there such a complete lack of sympathy. does lewis understand anything about children.

the answer is that "adults assuming these young as hell children have the same emotional maturity and logical processes and understanding of the world as adults" is a constant theme. these random schoolchildren become the supreme rulers of an entire country in a world theyve never been in after like, a week. the whole series runs on a fair number of other English Brand notions abt classism, racism, divine right to rule, etc. but even if it wasnt "only humans can lead", why would any children be allowed? children who had never been there? for gods sake

moving on to the plot: lucy finds narnia, etc. i guess on account of being Young and A Girl, which here means spiritual purity? and also as a character trope means Innocence. ok. meeting an exposition-providing faun, getting back, nobody believes her because why would they. their great(but not good) uncle bothers showing up upon coincidence. why hasnt he ever even said "hello, im not evil" to the kids staying at his house?for gods sake. he then explains to the kids a version of one of lewis's apologistic things that supposedly logically proves that christianity is valid and here proves that narnia is real, which it actually does neither of. shove it, clive staple lewis. your argument is crap

oh but edmund went to narnia along with lucy before that had happened. this is supposed to be a crucial point where he meets the white witch and is supposed to be like, dont be like edmund kids!! but frankly he behaves perfectly reasonably during that encounter and also when they all get to narnia. coz, ok, he's in an alternate universe alone which is disorienting for anyone. then the witch just happens to stumble across him. was he supposed to have prevented that somehow? lucy just stumbled across mr tumnus and trusted him inherently and it happened to go well. the first person edmund meets is someone else and he talks with her for a minute because she is a grown ass woman, probably gonna kill him otherwise, and also he's in an alternate universe alone with no idea where anyone is or if he can get back? here is a quick tangent:

a moral throughout the series is that you can sense somethings inherent goodness or truthfulness through how much it gives you a nice gut feeling. yet frankly this is not the only way to go about making choices. and not everything bad sets off alarms and not everything that sets off alarms is bad, so i dont know how much of a lesson that is. but for example, here the witch doesnt give edmund the warm fuzzies, and it is supposed to be a mistake or moral weakness on his part to not have.....what? gone running aimlessly through the arctic landscape in his jammies from a self-proclaimed queen with a sledge? he didnt really have any options here. how is he meant to know she's not really the ruler of this crap place that, so far as he knows, he lives in now? and ok, then somehow his big ol mistake is eating some damn candy and having some hot cider or whatever. it is eternal winter, why is this child a sinner for getting up out of the snow and humoring this lady by taking some offered snackaroos. also, everyone says turkish delight isnt even good. ask for some m&m's, ed!!! love yourself!! and even if he is supposed to know never to eat magical food or be bound to the fairy queen, lucy went and had tea with a fuckin faun so again, they basically did the same thing but edmund met the wrong person by sheer luck of it, so he has to die. LEWIS!!!!!!!

another big Edmund Must Die moment is when he and lucy get back from narnia and edmund lies that narnias fake, because he's evil. first of all, the fact that lucy tells him that some stranger she's buddies with says the white witch is evil and a liar. how is her stranger meant to be more reliable than the witch? this is just the word of two randos pitted together. how is edmund meant to understand this as Proof that the queen is evil and an imposter to the throne. frankly, she's functionally the actual queen, so its not even really a lie? narnia is impossible. secondly, it is 10000% understandable that edmund would realize that if he backs up lucy's claims then everyone is going to go looking for narnia, and in the experience he's just had, its a hellhole. and lucy has just told him that he possibly met an evil witch that is interested in also meeting his siblings? wouldnt be too thrilled about going back there then. and thirdly, if as lewis says he just lies because he is evil? does this man again not understand that Impulsive Pettiness is a bit different coming from a 9 yr old than a grown adult. the narrator is just so aghast at edmund constantly when its like dude he's.....not really doing anything, and also theyre all babies. let him be a bit of a little shit without the devil herself coming to claim his spilled blood for it, mayhaps

also, there is a bit of confusion about the fairy food! it is implied to be actually kind of magically binding, like to a degree he has to cooperate with the witch now because he took food he was offered? or at least it is somehow "corrupting." so how is this meant to be a sin if also it is not even his own choices here! how was he meant to have avoided this? dont take candy from strangers, sure. BUT IF YOU DO, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET!!!

all the pevensies are in narnia, lucy lets it for everyone else remarkably fast, but i guess she is like 6 and having a nice time with her family in a magical land. although you'd think she'd be more concerned about all that witch stuff, and the fact that mr tumnus was about to straight up childnap her and deliver her to childmurder. like, good on you for not doing that. but how many people has he been selling out all this time! its literally been his job for however long. he's had to have had something to show for it. is morally greyness just arbitrarily sorted into black and white Good/Evil characters and these kids are supposed to sniff out which way these things fall? for gods sake. see, my point is that this adult faun who was going to turn a kindergartener in to be killed until he decided nah, and previously definitely probably narced on people in the past, is way crapper than a kid who has been grumpy and ran into the wrong person? what is edmunds Betrayal. was it the food eating

anyways, then peter is a total dick, but in like a noble way. in that he's mad at edmund for ages but like...again, ok, he's like 12-14 or whatever, who knows. the point is that if he can hold a grudge against his siblings for being annoying, why is that trait evil in edmund? it is because narrator lewis says so, damn him. but if peter is the Natural Born Leader of A Country here, you'd think he could at least manage not to keep giving a hard time to the one of their group who is going to be any trouble keeping in line at all, since lucy is Pure and susan gets the literature role of the Mini Mom. theyre not going anywhere. you basically had one job, pete.

fun fact: this is where they find out mr tumnus is taken by the queens evil forces, referred to as the police. this is basically the only book i can think of where the evil enforcement agency is called a police force. Interesting Stuff

even though im not sure what any of them think they can accomplish by wandering around, they end up following a random bird and following some random beavers. they know this is ok because of those warm fuzzies, and the fact edmund isnt feeling those good vibes is because he's evil, but honestly its a shit plan following some random bird and assuming some beavers are gonna be good guys. the only people edmund knows of in this country are an imposing queen and her kidnapper who's totally nice. also if tumnus told lucy that the queen has loads of spies, why are they crashing around inherently trusting the first things they see? lucy trusts a faun who was going to sell her to satan, edmund sort of has to trust an ominous lady who turns out to possibly be evil? why would he not find it a questionable idea to wander into this beaver dam

in further supposed evidence of edmund being all devil-corrupted by d&d, he doesnt get the warm fuzzies when these random beavers start talking abt a magic lion who's great and wandering around somewhere, you should totally go to him. but they have like, actually zero knowledge about this world beyond the differing accounts of those theyve happened to bump into? how would they know some lion who isnt even around ever is the rightful ruler of narnia, vs some lady who is actually around? she's got one up on aslan for that. where've you been, buddy. what took you an entire century. aslan SHOULD TOTALLY sound kind of crap because, uh, HE IS?

edmund goes off somehow without anyone noticing and the beavers are like oh yeah saw that one coming, that'll be the magic food. like??? you couldve said. or at least not let him sidle off out the door half an hour ago? for gods sake. and again: if this is magic food rules, why isnt the magical kit-kats the Great Traitor of All Of Narnia! how is the concept of sin fitting into all of this. again, edmund just ran into the wrong person. and lewis is just like no, see, but he deserves this because he is irritable and childish and mean. CHILDREN LEWIS!!! HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT!!!

apparently edmund meanders all the way to the white witches place b/c all the time the entirety of narnia seems to be a couple of miles across or a few hundred miles, depending on whats convenient to the story. the moral of narnia's weird lore is that its only as consistent as cs lewis feels like making it, which is sometimes Completely Bewildering when he just sort of throws stuff out there but moves the narration right along. presumably he wasnt expecting this to operate on the rules that any of this would be regarded with any level of analysis, since tolkien was a contemporary and not a predecessor. but still, dude, get your story straight? especially within the same book.

and anyways also, again! the magic food rules come up. because that is meant to be edmunds motivation, besides just being petty. he is magically bound to the fig newtons. which is i guess meant to explain away him literally going the extra mile for this witch shit, but also still letting him be blamed for that, since he is being SUCH a jerk, see kids? dont act less than chipper at your terrible life unless you want to take your soul's rightful place as the devils property, moreso than literally anyone else in all of narnia? alright. this books plot points are just a bit like.......ok

the other kids definitely have no option but to trust their choice in "trust the first people we bump into." luckily its uh...its fine. but wtf

who is narnia santa!!!!! how can there be a dude based on a saint? does narnia have the concept of saints? is he a dead guy???? i can slightly accept that narnia has a christmas in that maybe that comes from the dude who was made king at its birth being a random english cabbie, i suppose maybe this guy was like "fuck it, its christmas and you're going to like it." but do narnians know what xmas is about at all??? canonly aslan is actually just also jesus in the england-world, but did the cabbie king know that? did he explain the concept of jesus? does monotheistic narnia also accept the concept of a separate god existing in another universe, or are they all also assuming aslan=jesus? but this isnt as confusing as the santa guy. is he like how there's wizards running around? this is so weird. what magic shit would edmund have got. wouldnt it have been nice or at least useful for santa to have given the other pevensies whatever he was going to have given edmund. does that boy also not get xmas presents because he is on the naughty list. bad month for edmund

speaking of edmund, he honestly sort of disappears from the book as soon as he has the realization that the witch is mean :( despite the plot of rest of the book being essentially centered around him? and him finally being in a position for the narration to stop talking about what a cruel cruel monster he is? ok

aslan is just a dick not only for leaving narnia on its own for ages but also just personality wise. rude to the children. they are all like "aslan our brother" and aslan is like "shut up about your brother already, i'll do something about it if i want to but if i dont want to he deserves whatever's coming to him." like? have a little patience for the reasonable questions and uncertainties of these kids, ffs

how is this massive climate shift not fucking shit up like, ecologically. does anyone own shorts at this point? how are plants alive. its magic

oh yeah, forgot that there was that bit in the white witches statue garden of death where edmund straight up thought this one lion he saw must be aslan. wasnt he also getting figurative cold feet until he saw that, also? again, in these circumstances, how was he meant to know that WASN'T aslan and that the witch wasnt the one who was right. shrug! but now another total coincidence is whats driving edmund to go say hey to the witch again instead of backing out of her creepy house. see you in hell ed

back to aslan........uhhh when a wolf attacks susan, who is like, dangling precariously from a branch in fear of her life, aslan orders the skilled warriors not to save susan asap, but instead to let this 13 yr old holding a sword for the first time mosey on over and have a one on one fight with this talking wolf. sure, aslan knows the situation is under control. but the people who dont know?? are these kids in mortal peril? aslan is such a dick. he shouldnt be putting these children in these positions of Leader Of My Army Now, Go Into Actual Combat. but thats just how he rolls. trial by fire, dweebs

oh yeah and since the chance happens to arrive he sends some people to go get edmund back. thanks for bothering to rescue a child! gods sake

then he has a nice long talk with edmund about never being annoyed with your siblings or theres literal hell to pay, i guess! whatever. at least he's paying attention to him for a moment instead of just handing him a sword and telling him not to complain. thanks? telling his siblings not to be dicks about it all is also very mature of him. and apparently necessary since again, cough, peter? getting mad at edmund for being petty and immature maybe shouldnt have involved sniping at him a ton and ignoring him to the point he just left for an hour before anyone was like, wasnt there more of you. lord. im just saying, maybe everyone needs to mature a bit before they are monarchs

psych!! these kids are ready for anything now

except for the bit where the witch comes and demand edmund's head, since...........................i guess she was trying to play the long con? by hoping aslan would do the ol switcheroo? or maybe she was just mad and wanting a good ritualistic murder. but despite the whole damn book being about this explanation of the crucifixion of jesus, it.........doesnt really make sense within the god damn Lore. she has claim to edmunds life because he is a Traitor? to whom? the witch straight up lied to him abt what she wanted to do with his siblings, so how was he meant to have betrayed them if he hadnt known what she intended to do? how can he betray someone if it was the fault of the Law Of The Magic Almond Joy? sure, he lied and snuck around and was pissy and all, but how is that on a level above any other number of stunts other narnians are sure to have pulled. she has narnian spies? arent they traitors? does she have to formally make the claim for the "i get to kill the traitor or narnia is destroyed b/c The Lore, Fuck You" for it to come into effect? is edmund just called a traitor for the strategy of it all, since the humans have to be alive to defeat her. but on what grounds

also, who agreed to give her that authority of traitor-killer? why does that role exist. what. whomst. lewis, explain this?

again like.....how are the children on their own for this bit, either. there is no sympathy for being children in lewisverse

ok and uhhhh? aslan leaving on the night before a battle w/o like....telling anyone? they wouldnt even have known he'd died if a dryad hadnt have been like "you'll never guess this shit." i guess omniscience or whatever. but for fucks sake, peter outranks everyone else in the army just because he's human? he doesn't know shit! you made him fight a wolf! whatever. why even put the humans in battle if you need them to live. whatever

susan and lucy of course have to witness this aslancide until they also witness this resurrection. cool. but the thing is that like? sure aslan couldve just flat out let edmund die, but besides the fact that theres the whole prophecy thing to mean that the kids need to live, but also, he was sort of backed into a corner re: having to die himself because of some technicality in narnia's rulebook? i get that this wasnt meant to be completely an allegory so much as just "gateway christianity drug" but wasnt the jesus bit supposed to be done just totally as a favor or whatever. aslan was sort of just strategizing as far as we know. like, is edmund representing The Sins Of All Humanity, or is he out here like "if jesus dying wouldve saved just one person it wouldve happened all the same"? either way, it makes it seem like aslan HAS to do this whole dying thing out of "so the world doesnt end" vs choosing to out of being cool abt it. i mean......not that uh jesus was supposed to have been psyched up abt his death. but you know what im getting at here. whatever, the Lore

again, the battle seems to be happening like, five miles from the witches house? coz everyone from the statues just makes the journey with aslan in one go. what are the scales here, lewis!!

aslan shows up in time to just kill the white witch himself, with his god lion teeth? how gross must that have been. also! he couldve done that at any time!!! but prophecy whatever sighhhhhhhh

its funny that lucy gets impatient with aslan for interrupting her moment of "can i make sure my brother isnt dead" and he gets impatient with her about that? shes in like preschool. also, you have healing powers!!!! so says uhhh.....the next book? or the one after. and anyone can use that magic elixer. and can you stop being so damn testy abt these childrens concerns for each other's lives!!!

theyre monarchs now, and aslan just fucks off. he couldve bothered to say goodbye, if people dont happen to see him meander off, how do they even know if he left or is just hanging around somewhere? seeing as he just snuck off overnight and died without letting anyone know. but more importantly he's again left this country entirely on its own save for these kids who know nothing except that they better be nice to each other or some random magical law might come into effect where someone gets to knock on their door and demand their kidneys or the world ends.

for real though! this is like, a country coming out of a crappy period and now in a wild transitional period and the only leaders are these kids who just showed up who have never been here before in their lives. how are they meant to manage a natl economy? its not mentioned here (is it) but theres an entire other racist-caricature-mashup of a country to the south already? how are they at diplomacy between two countries they know nothing abt. how will they form policies! they are 11! what tf is narnias infrastructure, beyond "sparse." where did the line to the throne go? was there always direct descendants to the first king in archenland, which by the way also exists with people in it b/c fuck you. i guess so...i forget where caspian comes from.

fun fact, when my sister and her friend went to disney world some yrs ago, they took a pic with a dude playing caspian a la the films, whom looked a lot like the actual actor, aka a total babe. its a great photo

anyways ummm. see the entire narnian govt just disappears? which i suppose they figure out when the four of them just leave and never come back. i suppose its lucky the narnians assumed it was magic and not regicide. because, if you live in narnia? fuck you. honestly what did they do in the aftermath. nobody nonhuman is even allowed to be a ruler. do they have like, other elevated positions? was there no regulation. coz thats alright but the series implies that narnia is always supposed to have a king around in order for things to go well. ok

so uh its govtless i guess until what, these people accidentally stumble upon a portal to narnia and become the telmarines who take over narnia? but not rightfully i guess, because even though theyre humans, they were probably insufficiently noble about it. or just not aslan-approved. honestly ok where tf did the calormenes come from? another portal? why did they restrict themselves to a certain region? why did narnia not encompass the entire world? why did you need to be white and english to be christian. i know this is a case of just introducing things that dont make sense but moving the story along before anyone asks questions but uh..........louie

Also How Tf Are These Kids Going From Grown Adult Monarchs To 10 Yr Old Schoolchildren In 1940s England Again over the course of like 10 seconds. before they left this clowns didnt even recognize the damn lantern! how do you forget that ever. ridiculous

where the "put in what you want and dont bother explaining it unles you feel like it" strategy is really fun is with that lantern, imo. on account of he just put it in as a Fuck You Buddy to tolkien, which is funny. good job

but really how are you not even going to devote a single sentence to that fucked up transition these kids? adults in kids bodies? kids with the memories of what it is like to have become and been adults until just a second ago? are going through. like...............ok. do they have to larp being normal children for a while. It's Magic, Fuck You

aslan is just.....kind of a jerk!

this book teaches you nothing

The Lore

the end

[adelaidecity]

The Facebook page dividing Aussies

On any given day, Rick Furphy and Geoff Rissole are public enemies number one and two in regional towns across Australia, from Broken Hill to Port Pirie. Those arent their real names. They use pseudonyms, partly for their own protection from hordes of parochial locals theyve infuriated and partly for the fun of the mystery. The men operate the viral Facebook page Sh*t Towns of Australia, which reviews and ranks the countrys worst locales on a range of criteria. They have built a huge following over the past year a mix of amused readers and furious locals of the latest target of the mens unique blend of observational wit and downright slander. Were just a couple of mates with a sense of humour who started a Facebook page that accidentally became popular, Furphy told news.com.au We dont do it to offend people but its a bonus. We love it when the anger is funny. A lot of the angry messages include hilarious insults or bizarre spelling and grammar. Those are our favourites. And theres always something funny about someone blowing their top over a little joke. Were not so keen on the angry gronks who make violent threats or the nannas who just get sad. The latest review put Nowra in the firing line, describing it as a township founded by a convict and populated by packs of deadsh*ts and f***wits.

media_cameraIt's about to go down in Nowra. Despite being the South Coast regions commercial and administrative centre, Nowra is somehow completely devoid of jobs, leaving its residents with nothing to do but biff shopping trolleys into the river or get in a glass fight at Posties, the review states. It goes on to talk about the tourists who flock to the area from Sydney and Canberra who neglected to do any research as well as the various parents of Nowra and their distinct aesthetics. The saltwater Shoalhaven River acts as a moat for the flog-filled North Nowra and Bomaderry, shielding them from the bogan scum on the wrong side of the bridge. East Nowra is the shining turd in the Nowra toilet, while Worrigee is also sh*t mainly because its next to East Nowra. If youre looking for a sh*t suburb, you simply cant go wrong in a town whose only purpose is making Wollongong look good.

media_cameraThe local correctional centre in Nowra. As often happens, the page has been bombarded with furious comments and messages from loyal locals since it went live. There are the simple declarations that Nowra is a good town so f**k off to an invitation to meet at the local McDonalds to square up the 2541 boyz gonna sort ya out der lad. A lot of people seem to like the page until theyre on it. I think its also a case of people who dont know what the page is all about, who only see what we post when they or one of their friends is tagged on it, Furphy said. It does go right over some peoples heads. What exactly makes a sh*t town? Furphy insisted thorough research is conducted before a location makes it on the page. We use a combination of notes from our own travels, information sourced from the internet and info that followers send us, he explained. We are doing a lot of research, but we get a huge number of suggestions and requests from followers too. Our requests list is so long now that well never get through it, so each week we try to pick out a town that has had a few requests and has something unique about it. We try to cycle through the states a bit too to spread the love.

media_cameraPort Pirie is a frequent target of the pages attention. But there's one particular state that seems to be well represented, he admitted. And it is one of the selection criteria. There are a few clear signs of a sh*t town, Furphy said. Drugs. Unemployment. Pollution. Still having a video store. Being in Queensland. The page was spawned from a similarly successful endeavour of Furphy and Rissole across the ditch Sh*t Towns of New Zealand. It resonated so well they decided to turn their attention to a larger market. So, are they Kiwis then? Furphy is decidedly coy on this. While we are intimate with both countries, we feel its best to keep our origins and place of residence vague because a) it allows us to retain our pages objectivity when reviewing towns, which we take very seriously, and b) it winds up Baby Boomers in Broken Hill with conjoined Facebook accounts. We feel that it wouldnt matter either way. After all, all the best Aussies are Kiwis Crowded House, Phar Lap, Barnaby Joyce

media_cameraThe review of Casino didn't go down well. The very first Aussie spot to be reviewed was Townsville in north Queensland because, as Furphy pointed out, it has both town and ville in its name. I believe our verdict was sh*t, he said. In Townsvilles case, being named after a slave lord was a big minus. Towns was a notorious blackbirder, as was Mackay these guys are still celebrated with statues and city names in Queensland. The success of the page has been swift. The men will release a book in November Sh*t Towns of Australia via publisher Allen & Unwin featuring reviews, bonus material and a selection of the best angry responses.

media_cameraTownsville was the first town reviewed by the page when it launched a year ago. Despite some of the fierce backlash he and Rissole have copped, Furphy said the pair had no regrets about any of the towns theyve attacked. Not at all. We put a lot of thought into our reviews before posting them and make sure were happy with each write-up. Occasionally, peoples comments or reactions make us realise that a town is even grimmer than we realised and that we should have gone harder, he said. When asked if he had a favourite sh*t town, Furphy couldnt pick one, saying it would be like naming his most-loved child. But lets face it, Port Pirie would be up there, he said.

media_cameraLoyal Broome folk took exception to the review about their little slice of Aussie heaven. Port Pirie has a permanent spot on the weeks list of top sh*t towns that Furphy and Rissole compile. Perhaps thats why locals have directed the most fury at the page out of all the locations to have been profiled. In terms of outrage, Port Pirie would have to be up there along with Alice Springs and Mount Isa. Grafton also elicited a lot of outrage but for the opposite reason the locals reckoned we werent harsh enough, Furphy said. For those upset about the treatment of their town, Furphy is sympathetic. And he has a message of reassurance. Wed just like them to know that our work is thoroughly researched, and we wouldnt call a town sh*t unless it were most definitely sh*t. We are just reporting facts. But if they would like to send us an angry message, they should feel free! They might even make our next book! he said. Originally published as The Facebook page dividing Aussies https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/technology/the-controversial-facebook-page-dividing-the-nation-sht-towns-of-australia/news-story/73a2c4f226d94926bf1ae7ef959cb241?from=htc_rss

[hephaestustestified]

answer all Questions for the Mun!

I’ll get my revenge Dirky.

Under the readmore cause i might ramble tbh.

What made you decide to roleplay this muse?

Well I was friends with Dan back when he first made the au and I always wanted to join, but i never could get a strong feeling for who or how. I ended up just... picking and doing a lot of research to try to figure something out I think. It took me months to make him.

Do you roleplay other muses?

Yup! Angel Kar for Gracestuck, Angel Dirk for an au I made, witch Hal, vamp dirk for the vamp strilonde au, Leo for PH, hero dave and hero hal for @rise-from-ashes-au that me and my husband made, midnight crew boss dirk i made to go with jays felt boss jake, apollo! signless, and a few muses in the works. if you want links always feel free to hmu off anon or in IMs.

Are there other characters you’re interested in rping or wish to?

I want to try the older strider guardians or eridan or gamzee. 

What made you decide on your URL name?

his name is hephaestus and hes a dirk alt. it wasnt very creative tbh but oh well.

What made you decide on your blog title?

its just the url in bigger text i think >.>;;;;;

Other characters/muns you’re interested in roleplaying with?

anyone really. g0reme is an interesting muse and i would love to interact with them but.... my anxiety kills me..... TTATT;;;

Do you overthink your tag descriptions or keep it simple?

i keep it simple. i used to over tag the life out of my dave and jake blogs but i sort of stopped caring tbh.

Text format or nah? What’s your opinion on that?

i personally dont?? id like to but its pretty hard. as long as its readable i dont mind other people doing it! it looks really fancy sometimes. 

Favorite three icons of your muse.

I don’t get to use the first and third often, if at all.

How do you feel about the interpretation of your character vs the fandom?

some people make very good dirks and can make very good believable au dirks. i especially love my sons @technologictempest interpretation of dirk and consider him something of an expert. other people tend to hugely misinterpret him and like make him very VERY unnecessarily aggressive or just....focus on only one aspect of him and its just.... eeeeeeeeh. 

What’s a thread you’d like to do in the near future?

im still lowkey hoping dan and lavi will let me kill heph and bring him back with amnesia. he’d get his memories back eventually but itd be sooooo much fun!!! itd be hella fuckin sad tho. 

Do you have fun RPing?

most of the time. sometimes it gets stressful and annoying, like when people cause a LOT of drama ALL the time. like something always has to happen to make the attention be on the other persons muse ALL THE TIME. the muse is ALWAYS the victim and never does anything wrong. it gets old. take a break. or when people turn a fun plot meant to stay between a few people into a full blown multiverse war with outside interference and start shitting on the muns it makes it really uncomfortable to be around sometimes. thats why i try to find the people who DONT do things like that and stick to them. rational human beings who know when to stop are great to rp with. its why i throw my muses at embellishedbookworm john a lot. hes an easy to talk to person and very understanding and reasonable. i mention him cause he sticks out the most rn but my other friends are also in the same category. i feel very bad for clinging to my friends tho. 

Three of your favorite threads

;u; i dont get to thread with heph a lot. if at all. please hmu with threads.

What’s an M!A that would be fun to try out?

already answered! :D 

What’s the relationship status of your muse? Single? Taken?

taken. definitely. technically he could date more people, but hes barely comfortable with two. adding more than that and hed prob develop worse anxiety. its totally ok for other muses to crush on him but it makes him feel bad and guilty for not returning their feelings. his self image also tends to get in the way of his love life. (as posei and hermes have found out)

Are you selective?

sort of yes. some aus i avoid, some muns i avoid due to past experiences, and some people i just dont follow back immediately or follow at all despite wanting to interact because of who theyre friends with (even if the people i dont follow are friends of mine). especially with hephs account i dont always follow back because i do most of my blogging from the tablet or laptop, which means i dont really want to be scrolling for 20 minutes to find a thread or interaction. i tend to mostly follow close friends or muses that interact on a semi regular basis. but im usually up for interactions if you just hmu in asks or ims.

Your muse’s theme song.

Good question. I have no fucking idea and im always open to suggestions. 

What’s your opinion on blog themes? How do you feel about your own?

I love blog themes and hate them. I hate finding themes for blogs, but i love looking at other people’s pretty blog themes. i think hephs is pretty decent? i had to have dans help with it tbh.

What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual?

interacting heavily with mun who make me uncomfy due to the shit stunts theyve pulled in the past (whether the person interacting knows about the muns who make me uncomfy or not. ill usually warn the mun interacting with said jerks before unfollowing tho) or breaking a big rule of mine without asking or warning. i can handle certain rps as long as i have time to prepare myself (usually a few hours or a few days) but if its brought up without any time to agree or turn it down, ill prob unfollow after the first warning.

Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. (their ‘berserk button’)

giving him shit for being a god (he mentions this regularly. a LOT of people in the past have accused him of trying to force them into worshiping him after he says hello to the point he no longer talks to new people if he can help it), or bringing up his unfaithful wife or try to harass people he cares about.

Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse.

hes actually gotten to the point where he feels very isolated (and resentful) in his forge and wants so badly to leave, but hes also afraid of being unimportant or seen as worthless unless hes working.

 hes actually very clingy and physically affectionate (posei and hermes tend to see this a lot, but bubbles also sees it when heph gets particularly upset or in a good mood). 

posei and hermes have the most unintentional control over heph tbh?? they can get him to do just about anything if they asked. 

Where are you typing right now and where do you usually type?

on my bed, and usually on my bed tbh. my laptop is falling apart and cant stay open unless propped up, so i stay in bed laid out on my stomach to rp from my laptop.

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (107/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Six

It wasn’t until it was almost summer that Tony actually had to speak out in Barnes’ defense. Pepper was the one to make the call on the timing and Tony agreed that it was the right time. It was mostly to do with how the public viewed Barnes and Ross. Since clearing the air in Wakanda, Tony had started to take more interest in the man that was Steve’s best friend. He’d gone as far as to offer Barnes a new arm even if the process would entail Tony returning to Wakanda to make it happen. Barnes hadn’t seemed too interested and Tony realized fairly quickly that it was because for the time being he preferred not having the arm and either way Shuri assured him she had something in the works for him.

Speaking to Barnes had made things a little easier for Tony. He didn’t blame the man anymore and he didn’t dream about him or Siberia all the time not that it stopped Tony from having nightmares all together about his mom dying but they weren’t about Barnes. Not really. Some things were never going to stop and for Tony there would always be nightmares.

In the end, Tony’s statements about how much he didn’t blame Barnes and how he didn’t personally hold Barnes accountable for the deaths of his parents had the effect of making people aware of how much Hydra had had to do with everything The Winter Soldier had done. But it wasn’t just Tony’s word but all the proof they had to show what Hydra had been up to.

It didn’t stop Ross from continuing to try to get his way and make it near impossible for Barnes to ever get out of hiding without being arrested if he did. But the arrest would only lead to a trial and Tony was confident that it was a trial that Barnes would win. Ross seemed to have figured that out too, because he wasn’t as pushy with the stuff about Barnes which just made Tony worry and he’d have something else up his sleeve. Either way, with Barnes not planning on leaving Wakanda any time soon the whole matter was put the rest and Tony had his lawyers ready for when anything changed. He was hopeful that his name would be cleared when the time came.

Tony had a million other things going on too like the planning of a wedding. The thing of it was that flashy wasn’t what they wanted or needed. In all actuality, the whole marriage thing was a bit unnecessary in and of itself. Still, they wanted to have it happen and make it official.

It was Peter that seemed to want to make a big deal out of it which Tony thought was him trying to really make it clear how okay he was with him getting married which was sweet. Ever since they’d had that discussion over apple crostini, Tony had realized that he really needed to make sure Peter never felt left out of any of it. It helped that Steve adored Peter and loved his input and probably welcomed Peter in more than even Tony did.. If it was up to Steve, he probably would just let Peter have his way with all of it.

“But you have to have a big wedding,” Peter said one morning. “Just think about all the good it will do to all the gay teens out there who look up to you. You’re Iron Man and Captain America. You’re both public figures.”

Rhodey thought the whole thing was hilarious, but somehow Peter got him on his side. Mostly, Tony suspected that Rhodey just wanted to watch him suffer.

“No one even knows we’re together, Pete,” Tony had tried to argue one afternoon while Peter did some maintenance on K-9.

“But they should. I don’t really get why you’re keeping it a secret in the first place. You’re not going to hide it forever. It’s like -- I know I have a secret identity, but one day everyone’s going to know who I am. And they’re also going to know that I’m your son. I’m not ashamed of being Spider-Man or the son of Tony Stark even if it’s easier to keep that quiet at the moment. ”

It took a few weeks of convincing and since Peter was eventually out of school for the summer he had plenty of time to harp on the subject which was a bit amusing mostly because he even had Karen and Friday piping in on how much they needed to make a big deal about the wedding. In the end, Tony figured that Peter was right. Secrets weren’t a good thing and as horrible as the media coverage could get, Peter was right in saying that they might help young LGBTQ kids and teens and adults too probably by being open about it. That was what finally truly convinced Tony -- but also, it was sort of nice to share with the world that he and and Steve were going to be husbands.

But then, another reason reared its head when Tony got a call from Ross. The calls had stopped a while back, but Friday still put Ross on hold for a while before Tony picked up.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize there was a call,” Tony said. “What can I do for you?”

“Stark, you’ve done an amazing job at stonewalling me time and time again.”

“Getting the right information to the people is stonewalling you? Getting our heroes back and under house arrest as punishment for their actions? General, I have followed every letter of the law and every clause within the amended Sokovia Accords. So unless you want something, I don’t understand the nature of this phone call. I’m a very busy man.”

Which was when Ross said the last thing that Tony expected him to say: “I know you have a son. Swings around New York City as Spider-Man, right? I bet the people would love to know about him -- after all, everyone seems to be wondering who he is.”

Tony went cold. It didn’t seem like Ross actually knew who was under the Spider-Man suit, but he knew that it was Tony’s son. He knew that Tony had a son at all.

“Ah, I see I found something to keep you quiet,” Ross chuckled.

The question was how did he know?

“Did you know that The Accords and who signed them are public. Even if they weren’t I would have been able to take a look and Spider-Man is a minor who needed a mentor of sorts to take responsibility for him. And you did that for him which was enough to make me interested.”

It still begged the question how he had figured it out and how he wasn’t mentioning Peter which worried him. Did he know it was Peter or not? Peter had signed as Spider-Man not as Peter Parker so maybe--

“Everyone’s been speculating,” Ross said, “I may as well give them some sort of answer. Tony Stark allowing a teenager to run around as a hero -- that would make the front pages.”

But not if Tony had a bigger story to sell.

---

The pictures were taken in the tower because of the house arrest and they were absolutely ridiculous. Steve didn’t know how Tony had managed to convince him to pose that way. They were both on chairs and Tony’s was balancing on two legs. Steve’s leg was resting on Tony’s shoulder and Tony was actually holding on to it. Steve actually couldn’t believe that they hadn’t fallen while taking the picture. There had been a bunch of other ridiculous poses made that day and it was lucky that not all of the pictures were used in the article. Only a few of them were of a serious nature. The one where Tony had just kissed his cheek, or the one where they had gotten a bit caught up in staring at each other and the photographer had just taken a few shots of them. There were also individual ones. Vanity Fair was running a whole issue mostly devoted to them, it was kind of insane.

The interview had been almost nice though, mostly because he’d gotten to talk about Tony a bit and because it was the first time that Steve was getting to really be public about The Accords and the house arrest. He’d even gotten to mention Bucky for a bit of it.

The one area where Steve had been surprised was when Tony decided to disclose that he had a son. Peter wasn’t mentioned by name, but he casually mentioned that his son and Steve got along really well. Steve had been sitting next to him when the topic came up and he had frozen in place out of surprise until Tony reached for his hand and griped it before he said:

“I know it’s a bit of a surprise to everyone to learn that I have a son, but since we’re announcing this other important life event I figured everyone should know that I am a very proud father to a teenager. He hasn’t always been in my life, but he’s made a difference in it in the time he has been. I am unwilling to talk about who he is for privacy concerns, but I guess it was time to be a little more open with the world.”

When the final version of the whole article and pictures arrived for their approval, Steve was a little floored by how good they both looked. How happy, too. The main picture was the chair one but it was followed by a picture of Tony fixing a strand of Steve’s hair and Steve looking down at him. Steve wanted that picture framed. Vanity Fair didn’t go out of their way to highlight the mention of Tony having a son, but everyone knew that the media was going to pick up on it and run with it.

Steve skimmed the article and it really was perfect. The writer captured them and really weaved in the narrative of their story from how they labeled their sexualities to how their relationship had come about to why they had decided to come forward with the truth. It was actually kind of nice and Steve didn’t regret doing it.

--

“Tony Stark is dating Captain America?”

“Wait — they’re engaged.”

“Did you hear?”

“I didn’t know that HE was Gay? Did you?”

“This is nuts.”

“Wait, and is it true that Tony Stark has a son?”

“Do you think they’ve been together this entire time?”

“But didn’t Stark date his assistant for forever? I thought they were still together.”

“They’re getting married, though.”

“I wonder how long they’ve been together…”

The questions and comments were endless and Peter was sort of amused every time he heard something. He tried to stay away from actually discussing anything with anyone unlike Ned who was absolutely keen on getting his two cents in, but then Peter had expected that from Ned. Ned was also trying to get Peter to talk to him about how he felt about Tony mentioning that he had a son. Peter didn’t want to discuss it.

The timing of the article was perfect, though, because it came out just a day before the last day of school and Peter knew he wouldn’t get a chance to actually get tired of hearing about the article. It wasn’t just that everyone was talking about it, either, but that some of them just went up to Peter to ask him about it since he had the Stark Internship and everyone wanted to know if he’d known beforehand and if he’d met Steve. In one case someone asked if Peter had met Tony’s son. Peter tended to just give those people a shrug and a, “I’m just an intern.”

Ned’s reaction had still been the best after he’d had a chance to process the whole thing. “This -- this means that freaking Captain America is going to be your step-father.”

“Yup, Ned. That’s how that works,” Peter said.

Ned had laughed nervously for a while. “How are you not freaking out?”

“Because I’ve had plenty of time to get used to it.”

The media coverage was kind of insane after the article was released, though. Mostly it was a rehashing of what the article said but there were segments on the news, talk shows, and those celebrity news shows. A lot of them highlighted the mention of Tony having a son and everyone seemed to be questioning who it might be. Only one article mentioned the possibility of Tony’s son being Spider-Man and it was almost said in jest which was funny because everyone seemed opposed to the idea because of how secretive Tony had been about having a son in the first place.

Since the publishing of the article, Friday had also started to deal with a high volume of calls for interviews that were all declined. Peter hadn’t expected it to be so crazy, but his dad and Steve were handling it.

“But we’re talking about Iron Man and Captain America getting married. Two Avengers marrying each other. It’s crazy.”

Peter sighed. “I’m aware. They’re also normal people. You’ve met them.”

“It’s still crazy, though.”

Michelle’s response had been to shrug. “It’s nice that they’re making a difference by making their romance public. Doesn’t really concern me though.” He really should have expected nothing less from her except that then she had turned and stared right at him and said, “Peter Stark.” And promptly walked away.

---

“I’m kind of glad I’m on house arrest now,” Steve said. He was playing with K-9 and Dum-E with a ball and Tony was in the middle of not watching some snapshots of the media coverage of their engagement. It had been created by Friday for them just so that they were on top of everything being said about them, but Tony had it on while he worked on something or other.

“Hmm, yes, they would be following you everywhere,” Tony said.

Tony for his part hadn’t really left the tower. They’d announced their engagement over Twitter the morning the article came out and it had been kind of funny how many people thought that Tony was joking. They thought so even when Steve tweeted about it. There had even been some that were convinced it was a misdirect from Tony and Pepper getting engaged or even full on married. Then, everyone got wind of the article and the messages changed to surprise. A lot were pleased and congratulatory but then there were the homophobes who were obviously completely offended by it but Tony didn’t care about engaging with people like that. There were fewer at first that mentioned Tony’s announcement of also being a father.

“Why, um, you haven’t explained why you mentioned having a son.”

He hadn’t mentioned the call from Ross. At first because he had so much to set up to screw up Ross’ plans, but also because he knew that Steve would feel guilty about it somehow.

“Ross knows my son is Spider-Man. I’m not -- I don’t know if he knows it’s Peter but he knows something so it made sense to announce it myself in a way.”

“Which is why everything was rushed,” Steve said.

The funny part was that after the article had come out and other coverage of it by the media got all of the information right there were still a bunch of rumors and stories to deal with. It was just so much information and no one really knew what to focus on. It was sort of brilliant to mix in Tony having a son in the middle of all of it.  

“Are they really saying that you made this a condition to have me back in the states?” Steve asked with a grin, looking at the screen.

“Apparently so. You know how they are — they want to paint me as the bad guy and in a lot of those people’s eyes I’m not good enough for you.”

“Those people have no idea how amazing you are,” Steve said

K-9 barked to get attention. The dog really was a great addition to the tower. Peter loved him of course, but so did Steve who was the first to just drop to the ground and roll around with the dog when he had time.  

“Get rid of all that, Fri, it’s useless.” The screen went dark. “Is there anything else that needs my attention? Otherwise I’ll get back to figuring out the housing unit for the nanotech.”

Friday seemed to take a moment to search and then, “I have surveillance footage of Thor and Loki in the city. There are also Instragram pictures of Thor.”

Steve dropped the ball at his feet and he straightened up, joining Tony to look at what Friday had been able to pull up. The video wasn’t all that grainy but it didn’t show much since it was them facing some sort of demolition. The video wasn’t even centered on them but they stood there for a while and it was definitely Thor and Loki even if they were both in regular human clothing and not their usual Asgardian gettup. It was also not enough to hide them from people on the street who seemed to stare at them from afar.

“What got demolished there?” Steve asked.

“Shady Acres Care Home,” Friday said.

“The real questions is why they are there and why Thor hasn’t thought to contact us if he’s back on Earth,” Tony said and it was worrisome because it meant that Thor wasn’t just back for leisure but that he was after something. That Loki was with him -- that might mean more problems for everyone.

They watched as Thor was approached by a bunch of girls -- which explained the origin of the pictures on Instagram and Twitter. And then just moments later Loki disappeared. Probably one of his tricks. Even Thor seemed surprised that his brother was gone -- and wasn’t it just even more worrisome to have Loki disappear like that? They watched as Thor picked something up off the ground and then he walked off.

“He’s here for a reason,” Tony said. “Have there been any more sightings?” Tony asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Friday said.

“So what do we do? There’s still no way to contact him so…”

“We wait,” Tony said. “And we can only hope that Loki isn’t up to something. Friday be on alert for any sighting of either.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Tony just hoped that nothing would come of Thor’s return to Earth.

Tony looked back at the unit for the nanotech. He hadn’t told anyone yet that it was probably going to mean that he was putting something back in his chest -- that this housing unit would have to be on him somehow and it’d be better for it to be in him. Thor showing up made him even more positive that he needed to do it.

“I’m sure it’s nothing bad,” Steve said. “He would have come to us if it was.”

Tony sighed. Loki had been with him and after the last time they had encountered the God of Mischief, Tony wouldn’t discount that he wasn’t up to anything. Although, it was a bit of a surprise to see him when Thor had been adamant that Loki was dead the last time they spoke about him. It made Tony wonder about what might have happened for Loki to be alive and for Loki and Thor to be together and not showing signs of not being on the same side. Tony understood that they were family, but he also knew that there was a lot of contention there. He just hoped that none of that would affect the people of Earth.

Chapter One Hundred Seven

[vidoxi]

just finished mystic messenger and i just wanna write down my thoughts. major spoiler warning + i-might-talk-shit-about-your-fav warning. if you want to discuss with me any of the points i bring up here, go for it.

Jaehee “No Homo” Kang

so when i first heard that her route was just a friendship route i was hella disappointed and thought that sounded like a total bullshit cop out, but after playing it i feel a little differently. i think it makes sense for jaehee’s character and narrative that she would value a friend over a relationship at that point in her life, but also its pretty clearly said that she does have romantic feelings for you but she needs time to process them, which is especially understandable since you can infer that before she met you she thought she was straight and also she’s catholic. her after ending was the perfect time for her to confess or for there to be the implication that you two are in a relationship, but instead it’s the only after ending where we DONT get to see interaction between you and your partner, which is a bullshit cop out. i do like that in the christmas DLC things got a little more romantic but i’m still wanting more. jaehee and the fans deserve what the male characters get, a CG of a kiss on the lips and a confession of romantic love. i hope that if more DLC gets released, cheritz will push the envelope a little a lot more. but i have heard that korea is still really conservative and for all i know making it more explicit could be illegal so i might be being unnecessarily harsh there lol;;

about her actual route though... it was good. nothing really exciting happened. it was definitely the chillest route i thought, but it was really sweet and she’s absolutely adorable and it warmed me to her a lot. her bad ending 1 (the one where you end up with zen) is so depressing, fucking hell. it feels like you betray her. it’s so ugly. ;_; i never want to do that ending and i’m glad there isnt a unique CG to tempt me into it either. her bad ending 2 (where you push her to work so hard that she ends up in the hospital) is pretty terrible too. after ending was hella cute though, i love the thought of mc and jaehee having their little coffee shop together and jaehee getting to actually work on something she’s interested in and being with her “best friend” all the time. oh and yoosung becoming jumin’s new assistant was interesting and i need me some fics, u feel?

something i also feel a little robbed about is that jaehee never blew up at jumin. she drags yoosung like theres no tomorrow and you just know she could say some venomous shit about jumin so i was hoping there’d be a big confrontation between them where she gets a dramatic The Reason You Suck-type speech but there wasnt really a moment like that.

however, seeing jumin all bitter about it at the end was a little gratifying (sorry jumin)

i love their emojis and you cant stop me from using them

also on this route where 707 has yoosung hunting for the LOLOL expansion pack (how is this boy so naive? im worried) and he finds a buried picture of rika’s dog sally instead, i at first thought that he had dug up sally’s corpse and i was like “wtf the fuck seven”

also wtf @ v saying he has terminal cancer. this is presumably a lie, right? before reading the secret endings i thought he was going to commit suicide but now im thinking that (seriously if you havent played the whole game you need to stop reading this rn) maybe he knew that rika was going to dispose of him soon and he didnt want jumin to investigate his disappearance? iirc yoosung’s good ending is the only one that he’s present in, so is it meant to be assumed that he’s killed off camera in every route possibly?

everyone else under the cut

Zen

the worst tbh. i dont like saying it but there it is. possibly this depends on who you are as a person but to me it didnt really feel like MC and zen had much chemistry except during that scene where youre on his roof together. most of your interactions are just you praising him and fellating his already huge ego. and jaehee was exceptionally annoying with all her “muh zens reputation” shit and feeling like i was taking zen from her was really awkward and unpleasant because it does seem like she has repressed feelings for him. fuck and the whole story with echo girl was super predictable and generic and feels like something i’ve seen 100 times before and probably have. my overall feeling about this route can be summed up by this emoji.

i feel like it could have been improved by either removing the echo girl stuff or at least putting an interesting spin on it. i think they should have made zens’ childhood abuse and family problems and maybe his past as a gang member as well an actual conflict instead of it just being a thing of happenstance. it’s an interesting backstory that as far as i can recall didnt end up having an impact on the current day situation. it would have been interesting if he had some sort of emotional issue you had to help him through like jumin, like secret crippling insecurities due to his family telling him for years that he’s ugly and inadequate, and thats why he tries so hard to be perfect so that people will give him the love his parents didnt. also his elementary school teacher was implied to be a pedophile(??? i dont remember what was actually said in the conversation i just remember the pedo-vibes) so they could have made him a CSA survivor but maybe thats too dark even for mysme lol.

also his bad ending 1 confuses me. the first time i saw it it felt really rapey but rewatching it now, MC does seem to consent but its after being cold and refuting his advances so it seems really weird. MC seemed genuinely disinterested, but i guess she was just playing games, testing him to see what he’d do? since theyre in a relationship a year later. and his bad ending 3 (the one where youre both kidnapped by saeran) is pretty bizarre lol.

so yeah this is the weakest route imo. maybe its different for people who are zen fangirls but i personally felt like i was being super fake the whole route, which was especially jarring coming off of yoosung’s route where the dialogue choices felt very organic to me. also his responses to mean things arent even interesting lol so thats frustrating too. and this route felt weirdly short. all the others felt like 11 days but this one felt more like 5? and when i missed chats on this route i just let it go most of the time instead of spending hourglasses. i wasnt feeling it, mr krabs. by far the best part of his route for me was the relationship development between zen and jumin.

now that ive spent 4 paragraphs just complaining you probably think that i dont like zen but actually i think he’s is a fantastic supporting character and i do like him a lot. that picture of him sneezing was my phone wallpaper for quite a while lol.

Jumin

me at the beginning: i fucking hate jumin han. fuck him. fuck his cat. i hate this type of asshole love interest.

me after zens route: i guess he has some hidden depths... i’m curious...

me after jumins route: *loves jumin han so much i cant breathe*

this guy... this cat man...... where to start? i’ve had a while to think about this route and i’m still not totally sure how i feel. “i feel complicated” is a term i’m going to start using because its just too handy for situations like this.

i guess i dont like that to get the good end you had to be passive and compliant and act like you were walking on eggshells. your relationship with him is undeniably a little scary and abusive. i think jumin needs more in his life than just you. but mysme is an otome game so of course youre the one that “fixes” him but thinking about it more realistically its worrying and jumin should be in therapy cuz the dude undeniably has some issues.

winning his heart by being understanding and with gradual, slow-growing trust was pretty touching. something i really appreciate was him opening up and his true self actually being hard to accept sometimes, instead of whats expected which is “oh youre secretly a perfect, beautiful soul”.

i do really wish they would have opened him up further though. there isnt ever a point where he completely loses control of his emotions. not to be gross but i’d do anything to see him crying, honestly.

i hope people are joking when they say that his bad end (you know the one i mean) is a good end. just because its hot doesnt mean that its good lol. its actually really tragic and shows the deterioration of his mental state and how he’s just accepted that he’s a fucked up/defective person.

“I was worried that the loneliness inside me would pile up and explode some day.” FUCK. dont do this to me jumin. ;_; this line is heart breaking.

something thats kind of interesting and worth noting maybe is that even though the other rfa members arent privy to the VNMs and you can give them little indication that he’s acting so worryingly theyre all still alarmed and concerned and thinks that jumin is going to hold you hostage/abuse you, which makes me wonder if youre meant to infer from that that theyve noticed red flags in his personality that he’s potentially kinda crazy.

and man, zen is always complaining about how jumin seems to have no emotions, but jumin finally opens up about his feelings and zen calls you laughing hysterically about how pathetic he is for being emotional. i was kinda hurt on jumin’s behalf during that call lol. he is so supportive to zen on zen’s route. just... shut the fuck up you albino freak. dont make me whip out yoosung’s “hyung, what’s wrong with you?” emoji. i wont hesitate, bitch.

there. you asked for it. feel those judging purple oblongs pierce your soul.

man, just reading the dialogue options that treat him like a psycho make me cringe. usually i’m tempted by mean dialogue options but not this time. i want to protect jumin han. ;_; i want to untangle his threads. i dont want him to feel like a mutant ever again. i want to love and accept him. i am now the president of the jumin han protection squad. jumin han did nothing wrong. shameless jumin apologist. that’s me. no but seriously he did a lot wrong and is pretty morally grey but thats one of the reasons that i love him. if you love jumin for pure reasons (that arent just “daddy~”) then youre automatically my friend and i love and appreciate you.

just to love on him for a minute: he is so damn funny, for real. he’s such a sass master, its great. him being terrible with technology is funny. his social awkwardness is funny. his shitty jokes are funny because theyre not funny. he should be the poster child for gap moe cuz goddamn. he’s such a ham. an absolute goofball dressed as a billionaire CEO, and i dont think he even knows it.

also every time elizabeth meows i fucking lol. its literally just a woman saying “meow”. every time jumin says “elizabeth is just a cat, she’s not human” i’m like “ARE YOU SURE?”

Yoosung

this is the first route i got and i assumed that i had already peaked at the beginning and no one was ever going to top yoosung for me, and that assumption was correct. i love this boy. do you hear me? i love him. “perfect” has seven letters in it. “yoosung” has seven letters in it. coincidence? i dont think so. i have feeeeeeelings over this character. he is so darling. i just adore him. i’ve opened the app many times just to look at his album. his voice is like a choir of angels. i have so many screenshots of conversations with him on my phone. he is so selfless and caring and adorable and kinky and pure and i want him to be real so i can marry him irl.

i’m not even sure how to give a critique on his route because i feel so emotionally close to the situation lol. i was very, very invested. ah. gosh. this boy. his good ending is absolutely beautiful. you know youre playing a weird otome game when the good ending has your boyfriend tortured and disfigured. he really earned his happy ending, not quite as much as seven but its up there.

i really love how for better or worse, this boy is like putty in your hands to be molded and what you say to him effects him so deeply in a way that doesnt quite get as extreme as with the other characters. obviously your words majorly influence the other characters but i feel never to the extent where theyre hanging on to every little thing youre saying like yoosung does. which makes sense because he’s young and impressionable and doesnt know what to do with himself and he says he wants to be controlled lol.

MAN, speaking of that, i love his bad ending 3 so much. it’s so twisted that he’s technically getting what he wants in a lot of ways. he’s a masochist that loves the idea of being kept as a pet and controlled, and he gets all that and more with saeran. that ending is so fucking hot, slkdfljsf. i might write a fic. i have a couple ideas.

oh shit, using that seven gif just reminded me. there’s a chat thats on the first few days of common route that ive always participated in before, but when you dont participate in it and yoosung has time to ramble, it gets really kinky. he says “i wonder what it would feel like to be locked up? just a bit.... curious lolol” which i think is what he says when youre in the chat too BUT THEN HE STARTS GETTING OFF ON THE IDEA OF SEVEN BEING LOCKED UP TOO. “Imagine the super smart Seven all flustered. and not knowing what to do.” AND I’M JUST LIKE BOIIII;;; HOW YOU GONNA JUST TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF ZEN AND JAEHEE LIKE ITS NOTHING? if he would take the obvious hints that seven hits on him he’d probably be willing to roleplay that scenario. 707 strikes me as a fetish friendly person lolol.

ummm... well, to get back back on track, ahem.... him confusing you with rika was creepy and interesting and they didnt take it far enough. even on the yandere bad ending he’s still fully aware that you arent rika. it seemed like it was building towards him having some kind of psychosis where if you feed into his desire for you to be rika he’ll really think youre rika but that doesnt happen so theres no real pay off, and he doesnt have time to do anything yandere-y to you before the bomb goes off so i found that ending to be pretty disappointing and unsatisfying. it felt like someone waving a delicious cake in front of my face but only giving me a crumb of it in the end, do you know what i mean? aaa. maybe i can find a fic that runs with the ideas set up here. when youre desperate, turn to fanfiction lol.

speaking of disappointments, i’m not over the last line of his good ending being “youre not rika, are you?” like... at this point we’re past this arent we omg stoppp. this line is a blight on my happiness. fuck rika and fuck whoever thought that was a good last line.

i noticed that yoosung is the only rfa member including v and rika that doesnt have childhood trauma. his trauma all happened recently. i think that lends to him being the most fragile and child-like character. the other rfa members are so strong because their pasts molded them that way, but yoosung has no such constitution and rika’s death is undoubtedly the worst thing thats ever happened to him.

something thats been on my mind concerning bad ending 3: does rika know that saeran is torturing yoosung? saeran must know that yoosung is his savior’s cousin because he’s hacked the chat and presumably has read messages where yoosung mentions being her cousin, correct? therefor wouldnt that make him hesitant to harm him? i think rika must have consented to yoosung being tortured then. maybe his ultimate fate at the end of bad end 3 is that he’ll be brainwashed and become part of mint eye.

man he’s such a bad judge of character lol. he hero worships rika, loves echo girl, thinks that jumin isnt potentially dangerous, and even you can fall into this category if you choose to play it that way. the one person he really dislikes is v, and v has nothing but the rfa’s best interests at heart lol.

something i love about him is how quick he is to call everyone out on their shit. like, his finger is always on the “whats wrong with you? :>” emoji, just waiting for someone to say something he doesnt approve of lolol. he’s so empathetic and naive but he still has such a strong sense of right and wrong and isnt afraid of standing up to his older friends and i think thats great.

ahh. this boy. he might be ranked #2 on LOLOL but he’s ranked #1 in my heart.

707

before playing his route i thought seven was an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin was way funnier, and after playing his route i still think that he’s an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin is way funnier.

HOWEVER.

however. i can definitely see why he’s the most popular character. that hot and cold drama, i-cant-be-with-you-because-it’d-put-you-in-danger, dark childhood backstory, sad clown type shit is a recipe for a lot of fans to be in love with you. he personally doesnt make my kokoro go doki doki like i kind of expected because of the fan response but i do really like him as a character.

he’s similar to zen in the beginning in that you have to constantly stroke his ego and i was like uuuuggghhghghghghg nooooo. “god seven” kill me lol. at least that only lasts for the first few days though.

i liked his bad end 2 where youre really sexually forward with him and he keeps snubbing you until you just snap and push him down lol. (“why arent you pushing me away?” “...i dont know. the floor is comfy.”) seeing him finally just give in and be hedonistic and decide to run away with you was nice. god i want fanfics based on like every bad end, theyre just so interesting

the chat where he tells yoosung that their friendship doesnt matter was paaaainful. also that part on day 10 when youre leaving mint eye and he says horrible shit to v. what was it, “if this is what youre really like i can see why rika blinded you”? like... goddamn, dude. i would never want seven mad at me lol.

one of the moments on this route that got me the most was in the flashback when saeran is being brainwashed and is speaking of or thinking about seven and says something like “please come back. we dont even have to be happy. just as long as we’re together i can endure anything” and then he’s crying about how he misses him and.... augh... *clutches at chest like the heart attack guy meme* i want to give saeran 52 hugs and a box of cupcakes and a puppy. i want to adopt him even though he’s older than me and be his mom. saeran.... saeran...... ;_;

THE ZEN AND YOOSUNG DRUNK PHONE CALL AT THE END OF DAY 10 IS THE BEST FUCKING PHONE CALL IN THE GAME. i called yoosung again after they hang up and he answers and its so great too. i need fanfiction R I G H T N O W about that night. nsfw or sfw, i just need more drunk yoosung antics and zen trying to handle him. oh and if you also call seven at this time he picks up and its really sweet and i think it should have been an incoming call so more people would hear it. the fact that the first time he tells you he loves you is in an optional phone call kinda sucks.

oh fuck his fucking after ending. at first where mc and saeyoung are in bed and talking about going to rescue saeran i was like “GDI CHERTIZ” thinking they were going to leave it open ended, and then in the chat where saeran joins in i fucking s c re a med i was so happy and relieved omfg. seeing the rfa being so inclusive and nice to him warmed my fucking heart. and when they asked him if he has the same taste as saeyoung and he says “ive never been interested in women” and zen is like “oh? where is jumin lololol” i fucking died. i can see now why ive been seeing yoosung/saeran shipping stuff and its romantic and not the abusive stuff based off of yoosung’s bad end 3 like i was expecting. but of course it turns out to be a fucking dream and ruins everything. the second that creepy music box music started playing i was like “fuck you cheritz”.

707′s voice actor in the free talk part is great. saying all these cheesy romantic lines makes him want to “rub sandpaper all over my skin” lmao. and he hopes that it becomes a series with new titles like “Strange Messenger and Thankful Messenger”? fuck yes mate, fuck yes.

does seven not actually open a toy store? :c i kind of want this to be an actual thing. its a good fit for him. maybe the fact that he dreamt about it means that it’s something he’d been thinking about.

oh and BI THE WAY, SEVEN IS BISEXUAL. this makes me so happy. bi visibility is so important to me and the fact that he’s the face of the game, the fan favorite, the canon route, etc, is so delicious. thank you cheritz.

on the subject of the secret endings.... man. i knew it was going to be crazy but i still wasnt prepared. these were a trip and a half and genuinely had me feeling shook up emotionally. if there’s ever a time in my life when i’m too happy i’ll just think about v. definitely the most tragic character in the story. he’s not an angel and he’s pretty much culpable for his own suffering but he did not deserve that.

something of note is that jumin was in love with rika but after learning what she did to v, he has such a grudge against her that he wants her arrested even when she’s completely lost her mind and he even thinks about chasing her down to alaska. he loves v so, so much, augh. it hurts. i’m in pain.

it’s pretty fucked up that jumin (and yoosung and zen and the rest of the world) are still being lied to about v’s “suicide”. jumin spent a lot of money and went to a lot of trouble to get help for saeran, who is his best friend’s murderer and he just doesnt know it.

the fact that yoosung in particular never knows the truth about the cult and drugs and brainwashing and everything is a good thing though. just seeing his hero come back from the dead and be reduced to someone so mentally ill that she cant communicate and needs 24/7 care would be extremely distressing and i imagine would worsen his depression. knowing the truth would be too much i think.

i think this game fucked up v and rika’s VA’s too because both of their free talks quickly derail into too-serious territory. v is like “i once hurt my wife so badly and the guilt was unbearable” and rika is like “im going to die some day and i have no idea when...” and im sitting there like “i need a fucking hug, oh my god”

it’s amazing how quickly the secret endings shot saeran up to being one of my favorite characters. he’s so good. ;_;

okay but what was mint eye’s plan? i know they wanted to end the world’s suffering but like, how exactly? through brainwashing + drugs? rika could clearly see that saeran was miserable though, couldnt she? also some of the things saeran said made me feel like they were going to do some sort of ritual group suicide or something. maybe thats how everyone is going to be happy. and the doctor says that saeran was on peyote, shrooms, AND meth? god damn, what a cocktail lmao rika doesnt fuck around.

i love rika. she’s thoroughly disturbing and a sickening person and i can see why she’s so hated now in the fandom but even she is deserving of sympathy (abused adopted child with severe mental illness) and also has good qualities (high emotional and social intelligence, genuinely sweet, and extremely empathetic). one of my favorite villains from anything in recent memory. she’s terrifying and i absolutely love her.

we never learn her real name, which i thought was intriguing. i get the feeling that she’s meant to be mysterious and unknowable, even with all her power stripped from her as it is at the end.

im so happy that the game ended on a hopeful note, with saeran seeming like he's starting to recover and he's either grown out his hair or dyed it back. he still has literal mint eyes though, which makes me wonder if theyre not contacts like i was thinking and are actually some permanent body mod he had done. he got a tattoo of the mint eye logo, so i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case.

stray thoughts (this part is super disjointed and im just saying things as i think of them)

with the exception of 707 (if you count the secret endings as being part of his route), sometimes i get the feeling of these characters being like big fish in a small pond. mysme is already head and shoulders above what i thought a mobile game could ever be, but that doesnt change that i still feel hungry for something more. i want to see this cast in more situations, under different circumstances. they all feel like fleshed out characters full of potential that are just waiting for something more and bigger to do, like maybe something thats not restricted by being a mobile otome game. but maybe thats one for the fic writers, i dont know. maybe cheritz could work them into another project somehow since mysme got so popular.

i love that the characters have actual flaws. all of them have unattractive qualities that really make them seem human. and all of their relationships with each other are entertaining too. they are all multi-faceted and interesting and i really do adore this cast.

so 707 is the canon route but i hate the thought of any of them being canon because that means the others arent canon. all of them needed you. i want a harem route. give me all of them at the same time.

i feel a spiritual connection with vanderwood. he just constantly looks so done. his gender confused the hell out of me at first. i thought maybe he was a trans woman at first because of the hair and name but then he responds to seven referring to him as a woman with things like “i’m going to taze you”, so i was like “okay, he’s just a dude with a girls name and haircut for some reason” but then seven tripped me up again with the fact that even when the scene is really serious and seven isnt in a joking around mood, he still refers to him with female pronouns. but i guess this could be explained as this is just what seven’s used to. @aouba brought up a really good headcanon that i believe actually is canon because it makes too much sense which is that “mary vanderwood” is just the identity that he’s assuming at the moment, like saeyoung being “707″. its even noted by one of the other RFA members (yoosung?) that the name is weird and sounds fake.

i’m never more thankful to be a pale girl with long brown hair and bangs than when i’m playing this game lol

also i love this game because it feeds into my pathological need to help people without me actually having to do anything lolol

is it just me or do the full portraits of the characters look weird? like when you look at them on the wiki and you can see their legs. i cant tell if it looks bizarre because you just never see their legs in the game or if their legs are drawn weird or both lol.

i love the character designs. 707 in particular is very nicely put together and distinctive. and i love how angelic rika looks. that one taylor swift song thats like “darling i’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” is totally her theme song.

... okay now that im listening to that song it really does fit rika a lot.

oh and Take Me To Church is def v’s song for rika.

the two guests i was unable to get throughout all the routes is @god and @star. star’s is just so counter-intuitive and god’s seemed like such a crapshoot that with two chances for both i made the same mistake on their first email both times lol.

it surprises me that religion is mentioned so frequently and openly. maybe its not as big of a deal in korea or something? i’m thinking thats the case since two of the VAs mention their religion in their free talk (i forget who but one said they were an atheist and another said they were christian). it just seems like an oddly serious and potentially alienating topic to bring up in a dating sim. also jumin and yoosung are so inconsistent with what they believe. jumin says that he’s christian on one route and then firmly says that there’s no god on another. yoosung says he doesnt believe in god multiple times and that he has no interest in having any religion but he also talks about praying and refers to rika as being “up there” and watching over the rfa. i think zen is actually the only character that doesnt ever say where he aligns.

was anyone else suspecting that rika was the one that blinded the dog, sally? i’m glad that turned out to not be the case.

i love the voice acting so much. i think quality of voice acting is sometimes harder to discern when its not a language you speak, but the quality of the voice acting here shines even to my english-only ears. yoosung’s voice is straight up one of my favorite sounds, 707 has an impressive range and is overall just always entertaining to listen to, i love the way zen’s VA delivers his lines when zen is surprised and his howls lol (which were apparently ad-libbed by his VA), jaehee’s voice sounds so sweet and lovely, and jumin is so very... jumin-y and nice and relaxing to listen to.

zen and the twins were so fucking cute in the flashbacks i want to scream. i know we get to see yoosung as a teenager but im not satisfied and i want to see jumin and jaehee as little children so bad too, augh.

rika and yoosung are the only two characters that get the creepy ass yandere eyes where their eyes get all dull and flat when theyre being crazy.

i never cried but i got pretty close on yoosung’s good end and during the secret endings. i still feel shook from the secret endings lol.

why are there still bad end relationship endings for 707 and zen and jumin that no one has found? its almost february of 2017. its surprising considering the games popularity and how long its been out. is datamining not a thing with mobile games? or does the fandom not have anyone who knows how to datamine, or what?

ships im particularly interested in: jumin/v, jumin/zen, jumin/yoosung, yoosung/seven, yoosung/jaehee, yoosung/zen, yoosung/saeran, seven/saeran because i have no shame, mc/everyone, like literally just every ship tbh because i love every character hnnng

i had no idea that buying the christmas DLC gets you another free talk with the VAs. yoosung’s VA is so cute. “please get your flu shots if you havent already”.

not sure what to do now. i definitely want to replay yoosung. and i want to hunt for all the CGs and phone calls too, but i dont want to spend $20 on the calling cards lol. would buying them even be a better deal than just spending the same money on hourglasses? $26 gets you 1000 hourglasses which is more than you’d ever need, right? it seems like the better deal, unless youre not using a phone call guide for some reason and want to try to just discover them all on your own.

i’m super excited for more DLC. i definitely think there will be more because when you open the DLC folder, the christmas DLC is shoved off to the left, making room for at least one more. also just the nature of it being a DLC folder and not a direct button to the christmas DLC.

... i guess thats all i have to say lol;;; bless cheritz. this game is fantastic and has consumed my life and ruined my sleep for the past almost three months and i had so much fun and i hope they get even more ambitious with their future projects.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Ten Lessons from My Well Worn Winter Coat

This past weekend, I put my winter coat away until next November or so. Its a hardy winter coat, a green Carhartt arctic coat, one that gets me through an Iowa winter where you can have entire weeks where the temperature doesnt peek above 0 F. I keep a nice spring jacket around that will serve me well for temperatures down in the thirties, but the winter coat is now in overkill territory. Ive had this coat since 2003. That means this is the seventeenth time Ive put the coat into storage for the warmer months. Its a little worn in a few places, but its still as sturdy as can be and incredibly warm on a cold winters day. This wonderful winter coat is kind of a living embodiment of a lot of the financial principles I live by. Lesson #1 Paying More for a Well Made and Reliable Item Is Worth It, Because You Wont Have To Replace It As I said, Ive owned this coat for seventeen years. During that period, Ive owned at least four spring jackets that I can remember. They were all somewhat less expensive than this thick winter coat, but each and every one of them has had split seams or tears or other major problems. I repaired some of those issues; other issues just werent worth it. In the end, Ive spent quite a bit more on those four (at least) lighter spring jackets than I spent on this well made winter coat, even though each of those lighter spring jackets was individually much less expensive than my winter coat. The winter coat was well made from the start. I paid more to get a well made one, one that would last for many, many winters. The other coats were less expensive, but they werent well made. I knew with some certainty that they would probably not last nearly as long as my winter coat. Whats the lesson here? Its worth your money to pay for something thats genuinely well made and reliable because youll be able to use it for years and years and years. If you go cheap, youre probably replacing that item before too long, and it wont take too many replacements before that pile of cheap items was more expensive than that one well made item. The lesson has been learned. My next spring jacket is going to last me until Im 70. Lesson #2 Theres No Reason Not To Use an Item Until Its Truly Worn Out This winter coat of mine has some signs of wear on it, dont get me wrong. Its clearly not a new coat any more, especially if you look closely at it. There are some spots where the fabric has worn to a very smooth patch, but its still strong. This coat has quite a few years of use left in it. Its not unsightly, though; its just not new. I am reminded of an old martial arts instructor that I know. He achieved a very high level black belt, a level at which it takes an incredible amount of discipline and work and time and effort to earn another level. His belt was extremely worn, almost in tatters around him, as he approached the time to get a new belt. Yet, there was something deeply impressive about his worn belt. Worn doesnt mean bad. The idea that something being worn is a bad thing is a curious construct of our modern society. Something being worn but not broken is a sign of strength, of durability, of resilience. Its something to be lauded. There was a time in my life where I didnt see it that way. Something worn meant something that needed to be replaced. Sometimes, that might be true, particularly if that wear indicates a functional problem, but often, wear simply means that an item is very well made and reliable. Much of our lives rest on a backbone of well made items that have shown a little wear. At this point in my life, I like things that have some wear on them. That shows theyre well made. That shows theyre reliable. That shows that theyve put in the work. Id rather have a lot of items that have a little wear but have done the job reliably for a long time and will very likely keep doing that job reliably for a long time to come. My winter coat falls into that category, as do many of my favorite possessions. Lesson #3 Buying a Used Car or a Smaller House or a Sensible Insurance Package (and So On) Means You Can Afford To Buy Many Other Well-Made and Reliable Items One of the big knocks against buying a more expensive but well made and reliable items is that the up front cost is usually pretty high. If youre on a tight budget, a well-made $200 coat might be wonderful, but your budget only accounts for a $60 coat, so which one are you going to buy? Sure, the well made coat might outlast four of the cheap coats, but the expensive one just isnt an option. Thats the point at which you have to stand back and look at the big picture. Obviously, over the long haul, a well made and reliable and highly regarded item thats still reasonably priced is going to be the item that gives you the most bang for your buck. Over the course of 20 years, a $200 coat is going to give more value than four or five $60 coats that fall apart or look like theyre about to. However, to get on that bandwagon, you need the resources up front to invest in those things, plus the willpower to make good financial choices now and later. In the short term, the best thing you can do is cut back on the big things. Rather than replacing that car, keep driving it until its ready to give up the ghost and is facing a big repair bill to stay on the road. Rather than having a bigger house or apartment than you need, get a smaller one all youre really losing is extra space to pile up stuff you dont really need. Those kinds of moves save hundreds of dollars a month. Then, rather than spending that money frivolously, start putting it towards stuff that returns value. Pay off credit cards. Put it into your retirement savings. Spend a little more to get well-made reliable items like a $200 winter coat that will last for many years rather than a $60 one that will be trash in three winters. Not only that, driving a well made car for a very long time is basically the same idea behind wearing a well made coat for a very long time. You might pay a little more up front for it, but its going to last and last and last until the total cost of ownership is lower (and its a lot less headache, too). Lesson #4 Worrying What Other People Think Is a Trap One of the big motivations for many people to replace things like winter coats when they show the slightest bit of wear is an over-concern with what other people think. The reality is that other people rarely think of you nearly as much as you think they do. They just dont. Rather, people spend a lot of time thinking about themselves, and their spare thoughts about others are spread across so many other people that you rarely get a deep thought from others. Its called the spotlight effect. We think others think about us as much as we think about ourselves, which is simply impossible. We obsess over our own flaws and think others are similarly concerned theyre not. Even if they notice the flaws, they often dont care. Often, when someone criticizes you and is cruel, its because theyre grinding an axe about something completely unrelated to you. The truth is no one is going to care about a little wear on your coat, and very few are even going to notice. People are almost never looking for those kinds of things at all because theyre just not relevant. It makes no difference in my life whether a person on the street has mild wear on their coat, so why would it even enter my mental radar? The truth is, it doesnt. That doesnt mean you should give up on all hygiene and start dressing in rags. The best maxim to apply when interacting with others is to treat others as you would like to be treated, which for me means being clean, wearing clean clothes, and being friendly but not overly intrusive. Does anything really change for you if you interact with someone in a brand new coat versus someone in a coat that has mild wear that you would really only notice if you were looking for it? Lesson #5 A New Coat When My Old One Still Works Doesnt Bring Me Real Value or Joy For some people, buying a new coat might bring them a burst of joy that fades quickly. For others, it may even bring some degree of lasting joy, though I would suspect that it fades as the coats newness does. For me, though, my coat is not a source of joy. Its a functional item. As long as it keeps me warm in the winter and doesnt cause me to look too out of place, Im happy because its serving its purpose. (If anything, I feel slightly good about the wear, as I noted earlier.) If youre buying something you dont need, it should bring you at least some measure of real joy, ideally a lasting joy. This isnt just about coats or about articles of clothing. Its about everything you buy, from electronic devices to cutlery, from a cup of coffee at Starbucks to a can of black beans. Is this something I need? If not, is it bringing me significant joy or lasting joy that I cant easily get elsewhere? If not, I shouldnt be buying it. I dont need a new coat. Getting a new coat would not bring me any significant or lasting joy, at least not any that I couldnt get elsewhere (like the joy of grabbing that warm coat on the first cold day of the year, which I can get from my current coat). This is a valuable perspective to apply to everything you might spend money on. That worn coat of mine is just an embodiment of the idea. Lesson #6 Reliable and Reusable Are Earth-Friendly Concepts Remember those four worn out and falling apart spring coats that I talked about earlier? Those things were sadly trashed, to my regret. Im not sure where they all wound up, but wherever it was, it was likely not a positive thing for the environment. However, this winter coat of mine has been in my home for almost two decades. It has outlasted all of those other coats. It has never taken up space in a trash bin. It has never taken up space in a landfill. And it wont for quite a while yet. Thats an Earth-friendly move. Yeah, its a small one, but lets say everyone in America had a winter coat that they didnt replace for two decades rather than a winter coat replaced every five years. Thats 900 million coats over the course of twenty years. Thats a landfill full of coats (at least). Yeah, but what difference does it make? This goes back to that old analogy of a beach full of starfish. You cant save all of the starfish no one can but you can certainly grab a few and toss them back in the ocean. Buying a long lasting item that wont need to be replaced soon is the equivalent of tossing a starfish back into the ocean. Thus, you can certainly toss back quite a few starfish in your life. Lesson #7 The Coat Has Memories This might seem strange, but when I pull the coat out of the closet, I often think about the many different adventures Ive had with this coat. I think about sledding down a hill with my kids, especially when they were small. I think about my misadventures with skiing. I think about our trip to Yellowstone when it was unseasonably cold and my choice to bring my winter coat turned out to be a great one. A new coat wouldnt have those memories and pleasant thoughts associated with them. A coat that gets replaced every three or four years never has the chance to build up those kinds of associations. Its similar to how I feel about our kitchen table. There are a few notable scuffs and scratches on it, and I remember what was happening when almost all of those things happened. Theres a huge scuff that came from a heavy crock that we were using to make a jumbo batch of sauerkraut. Theres a big scratch that my son made with his fork when he was two or three. Those things have meaning and value to me, and those things go away if we just replace the item as soon as possible. Not only is such a replacement expensive, theres something of value thats lost and can ever really be replaced. Theres something special in a worn item. Lesson #8 The Savings Is Building Toward Greater Things Ive made the case that a reliable and long lasting item at a reasonable price saves money compared to buying cheap items that wear out quickly. The financial implications of this are numerous. First of all, the expense of replacing an item comes up much less frequently. I havent bought a new winter coat in almost two decades. Its just not an expense in my life. Sure, if I replace it with something durable in a decade or so, it might be expensive, but its simply a long way down the road. Second, Ill see that replacement coming a mile away. The nice thing about having a durable well-made item is that its usually pretty clear when its getting close to replacement time, but youre not usually facing an emergency replacement. You have some time to save, to research, and to shop around for another reliable and reasonably-priced replacement. This process wont be an emergency replacement. Ill have time to find the right thing and to look for sales. Third, I can use the money in the interim to build the future I want. Because I know these two things about my coat, I know that the money I might have to throw at a regular coat replacement cycle can go to other purposes in life, namely building the future that I want. Its a lot easier to save for retirement when youre not replacing a lot of the regular use items in your life with any sort of frequency. Obviously, my coat alone isnt making that kind of difference, but when you add up lots of things that are well made and reliable and dont have to be replaced, it does make a difference. My goal is to eventually have all of my frequent-use items be well made and reliable so I never have to worry about replacing them, ever, and Im not too far away from that right now. Because of that philosophy, I recognize that my worn winter coat and other items like that in my life are contributing to my early retirement goal. There are so many things that I simply dont have to replace with any frequency, and because of that, my regular expenses are lower, and because of that, I can contribute more to retirement, which is the big financial goal that matters to me. Lesson #9 Im Setting an Example Another thing I value about this worn coat is the example it sets for my children when it comes to practical frugality. You dont need a new coat every year. You dont need a new coat every five years. This one keeps doing the job and, yes, real people use items until theyre truly worn out. Ive noticed that my children take after this idea. None of them are ashamed to shop for clothes at a secondhand store. They dont mind used items a bit as long as they work. They appreciate the value in getting something thats of high quality at a reasonable price rather than the cheapest thing they can find, a phase they seemed to outgrow well before their friends. Its also in line with my core social circle. Most of my closest friends apply the same principles to their possessions. Get something thats good quality, even if its used. Use it until its genuinely worn out before replacing it. Repeat. The coat is a symbol of that, in a subtle way, and it very subtly reinforces that idea within my social circle. Although Im aware of the spotlight effect, Id like to think that if anyone does really notice my coat, it nudges them in this direction as well. They see a coat with a little wear on it and they think that its a good thing, not something to just be replaced immediately. Lesson #10 The Homework Matters The final lesson Im reminded of is how the homework matters with these kinds of purchases. Finding a well-made and reliable item that does what you want it to for a reasonable price isnt easy. There are a lot of companies out there selling badly made items, or items that look good at first glance but will fall apart quickly with regular use. Taking the time to sift through the options and find the item thats actually of high quality does take some time and effort. However, buying a well made item should be a pretty irregular purchase, so you should have time to do the homework for each one. Lets say it takes 30 minutes to buy a coat as an off-the-cuff decision, but its likely a poorly made coat that will be replaced in five years. If I spend an hour right now researching coats and find a really good one that lasts, then I spend 30 minutes shopping for a good price on that coat, and that coat lasts me for twenty years, Im still saving time. The homework pays off, in terms of both money and time. Finding the right item might take some effort, and finding it at the right price might take some diligence, but if you dont have to replace that item for twenty years, that effort and diligence reap real financial rewards. Final Thoughts My well worn winter coat is emblematic of the kind of life I want to live. I dont want to spend my time buying poorly made things that wont last. I dont want the expense of that, either. Instead, I want items that provide lasting value and perhaps build up a little character as well. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/ten-lessons-from-my-well-worn-winter-coat/

[erraticfairy]

Podcast: How to Stay on Track to Make Lasting Change



When it comes to making big changes in our lives, most of us fail. Oh, the change might stick for a while, but eventually we go back to our unchanged selves. Why is that? Why can’t we maintain change for the long-term? In this episode, you’ll learn different reasons for this, but even better, how to make the long-term changes stick.

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About Our Guest

Eric Zimmer is a dad, serial entrepreneur, podcast host, behavior coach, and author. He is endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intentionally create the lives we want to live. At 24, Eric was homeless, addicted to heroin, and facing long jail sentences. In the years since, he has found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for himself.

He currently hosts the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. With over 200 episodes and over 10 million downloads, the show features conversations with experts across many fields of study about how to create a life worth living. In addition to producing the show, Eric works as a behavior coach and has done so for the past 20 years. He has coached hundreds of people from around the world to make real, lasting change in their lives.

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www.ericzimmer.coach

eric@oneyoufeed.net

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  LASTING CHANGE SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator 1: Welcome to the Psych Central show, where each episode presents an in-depth look at issues from the field of psychology and mental health –  with host Gabe Howard and co-host Vincent M. Wales.

Gabe Howard: Hello everybody and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Show podcast.  My name is Gabe Howard and with me as always is Vincent M. Wales. And this week we are going to be speaking with Eric Zimmer. He’s a dad a serial entrepreneur behavior coach and an author and he’s gonna tell us really about a lot of things and I don’t want to read your bio, Eric. Eric, welcome to the show.

Eric Zimmer: Thank you for having me on.

Gabe Howard: Eric, of course I have your entire bio in front of me but, rather than read it off, can you introduce yourself to our audience please?

Eric Zimmer: Well, what I do these days is I am the host of The One You Feed podcast which has been out for about five years and we we do you know kind of similar to you guys. We talk with lots of different people about what it means to live a good life. And so I’ve been doing that for about five years. We’ve been listened to I think something like 15 million times. And so that’s been good. And then I also do behavioral coaching with people. And before that, I’ve got a long history of various entrepreneurial things like a software startup company. I started a solar energy company. I’ve got a son who is 20 and is at college and as I mentioned to you guys sort of in the beginning, and I’ve also got a mother in law who has Alzheimer’s that we’re taking care of. So that’s a big big part of my life these days. But it’s kind of a brief overview.

Vincent M. Wales: I want to tell you I love the title of your podcast, The One You Feed. Can you share with our listeners where that came from because it’s one of my favorite stories?

Eric Zimmer: Sure. It’s an old parable. Nobody really knows where it comes from. Some people insist it’s an old Cherokee story, other people insist it’s not a Cherokee story, so I don’t I have not been able to find anybody who really can prove one way or the other. But yeah it’s an old parable and in the parable, there’s a grandfather who’s talking with his grandson. He says, in life there are two wolves inside of us that are always a battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other’s a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second. He looks up at his grandfather and says, Grandfather< which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed.

Vincent M. Wales: That’s beautiful.

Eric Zimmer: So that’s the parable. And I use it to kick off every episode. I just you know I start off by asking my guests kind of what that parable means to them in their lives and in the work that they do.

Vincent M. Wales: I love that. Awesome.

Gabe Howard: And of course, you’re from Columbus, Ohio, which is awesome because I’m from Columbus, Ohio and usually we’re interviewing people from all over the country and not in my back door. But what’s really cool is many years ago, you had the band Watershed on your podcast and I love the band Watershed. And besides people who know me or who are from Columbus, they’ve never heard of them, so from one watershed fan to the other, it’s great talking to you.

Eric Zimmer: Yep. A local Columbus band that was great and still is when they play sometimes.

Gabe Howard: Yeah they don’t play a lot because they got old and had kids.

Eric Zimmer: Yup, yup, yup.

Gabe Howard: You know, when you say serial entrepreneur, you know I’m very interested in that because you know most people say, I’ve started a business or I’m an entrepreneur, but you say serial entrepreneur because, well you’ve started a lot of businesses. Can you explain what serial entrepreneur means to you?

Vincent M. Wales: It means he can make cereal.

Eric Zimmer: Exactly, yes. You know, off-brand Frosted Flakes and Cocoa Puffs and… No, I think by serial, it just means that yeah it’s I’ve been in one sort of startup business after the other for most of my career. So that’s where most of my career has been spent is in, you know very small startup companies that are very entrepreneurial by the nature of them being pretty new and small, although some of them got big, but they started small.

Gabe Howard: And that sort of… you like to do this. I mean that’s like the crux of your career. You like to take small things and help start them, make them bigger, you like to turn ideas into substance. This is what being a behavior coach is. I mean, actually explain that better because I’m just butchering it to hell.

Eric Zimmer: Well I do love, I do love the early stages of a company. You know I love sort of yeah like you said, they’re building something, taking an idea getting it out there. And I love that really, in early stage companies, you do a little bit of everything. So your job description is very broad and very wide. And so that’s always suited me well. I do a fair number of things pretty well. And so that always suited me. And so yeah, I would do one and then the company would get about to the size where it started needing specialization, where it was more operational than it was you know building, and then you know for both the company and me it wasn’t usually the best fit at that point and it would be better for me to go on and do something.

Vincent M. Wales: So, Eric, I understand that you had in your in your history some issues with alcohol and other substances could you talk about that for a bit?

Eric Zimmer: Sure. At the age of 24, I was essentially a homeless heroin addict. I was really sick. I had hepatitis C, I weighed about 100 pounds. I had a lot of potential jail time staring me in the face. And so, at the age of 24, I got sober, recovered from heroin. I stayed sober about eight years and then I drank again for a few years and now I’ve been back sober again for about 13 years, so I’ve got sort of two distinct stories of getting sober.

Gabe Howard: And you also struggled with depression, if I’m not mistaken.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah. And you know I never know whether to say I still struggle with it or not. I don’t really know. It is not the prominent factor of my life like it was for a long time. But you know it’s still sort of there. I think I manage it way way better than I did and it’s far less of a heavy thing in my life. But I think it’s still something that I work with. It’s a feature of my inner landscape.

Gabe Howard: This is a constant discussion in mental health circles. You know I live with bipolar disorder and I say I’m in recovery from bipolar disorder, but I still have bipolar disorder, I still have to manage it. I still spend some part of my day worried about it. So am I in recovery with?  Am I in from? Some people are like well there’s no cure or so recovery is the wrong word.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: It is a difficult thing to try to manage because you don’t want to wander around and tell everybody that you’re depressed because then people might try to render care or aid and you’re just trying to live your life. But by the same token you don’t want to tell people that you’re fine because this is something that you… it’s impacted your life in many ways.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah you know I think for me with the show, you know I’m talking about these kind of topics all the time and I’m pretty open about it on the show and in other shows I go on to just because there’s lots of people out there that also struggle with it and and wrestle with it. And yeah I agree with you. I don’t know, like I said, I don’t know whether it’s am I recovered, am I in recovery, is it gone? And what’s remainder is sort of a natural melancholy temperament. I don’t know any of those answers. But I do know that the things that I’ve done to treat depression, most of them are things that I continue to do today, because they seem to keep depression at bay and they’re just kind of all around good for my mood state.

Gabe Howard: It is a common discussion that people have. Where does mental illness end and my personality begin? When is it a mental health issue versus a mental illness? When is it just an emotion? When is it… you know it’s why podcasts like ours can really exist, because there’s a lot of discussion and varying opinions on the subject. So thank you for lending your voice to the landscape. It’s very much important.

Eric Zimmer: You’re welcome.

Vincent M. Wales: So now Eric, how did your history with alcohol and drugs… how did that lead to what you do today? How did it impact your life and what was the process there?

Eric Zimmer: So like I said originally, I got sober at 24, stayed sober about eight years, got sober again, and I think that in my case, recovery from addiction and alcoholism took sort of a wholesale change in the way I viewed the world and how I moved in it. And it made me take my internal state much more seriously and really pay attention to what’s happening there and then also you know look at how am I interacting with others and connecting with others. And so I’ve kind of always had that. And that drove an interest in me in all things mental health related, spirituality related. And so that was kind of always there. And then about five years ago, five and a half years ago at this point, I had a solar energy company that I eventually just decided I didn’t… I was going to shut it down. And so I shut it down and I was doing some consulting work and I was just kind of bored. You know I didn’t really have like a thing that was, that I was really into and passionate about and love. And so the idea to do this podcast just kind of hit me. And it’s turned out to be wonderful. I started it for a couple reasons. Like I said, I started it because I was bored. I also started it because what I realized was that my mind, when it’s left to its own devices, heads towards less than optimal places. And so I wanted to sort of feed the good wolf in my own life. And I thought you know what if I interview people every week and then I read their book to prepare for the interview like I’ll be immersed in and swimming in these ideas, these concepts,these topics, and it’ll help me just overall do better. And that turned out to be totally true. And my best friend was an audio engineer and I thought that by doing it I get to spend more time with him, which turned out to be very true.

Vincent M. Wales: Well that’s convenient.

Gabe Howard: That is really cool. And you know it’s not unlike it’s not unlike the story of the Psych Central Show. On our hundredth episode, we sort of talked about how this show came to be and there’s a lot of similarities there. I ran my mouth. Next thing you know I thought hey I can spend more time with my good friend, which is Vin. And here we are. And we’re glad that we did because we definitely need to stay out of trouble for sure.

Eric Zimmer: I agree. I understand that that motivation.

Gabe Howard: We’re going to step away for 30 seconds to hear from our sponsor. We’ll be right back.

Narrator 2: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com, secure, convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Vincent M. Wales: Welcome back everyone. We’re here with Eric Zimmer talking about making lasting change in our lives. So Eric, tell us about how this became your coaching work. You say it’s a behavior coach. Is that correct?

Eric Zimmer: Yeah, you know it started a couple years into the podcast and I started having listeners ask me if I ever did any one-on-one work with people. And I originally you know I initially said no I don’t. You know it’s not really something I’ve done. But I kept getting people asking me and I thought you know what? Let me give this a try. Let me see what it’s like to coach people. And you know about partway through the first call, it hit me that I had done this hundreds of times in recovery by being the sponsor to people. You know I had done that over and over and over and so I really realized it was something that I really felt like I knew how to do. And by behavior coach, what I generally mean by that is that it’s very difficult to… We all know you can’t just change your emotion, you can’t just grab your emotion and move it where you want it to be. And we can certainly work with thoughts, but some thoughts are what they are. But the thing that we seem to have the most control over is our behavior. You know there’s an old line I heard early in my recovery time, which is, sometimes you can’t think your way into right action. You’ve got to act your way in the right thinking. And so I would say that that line sort of underlies the whole idea of behavior coaching, that there are behaviors that we can do. There are activities that we can do that move us in the direction of our goals and our dreams. And also, there are behaviors and actions we can do that help our emotional and mental states of mind also. So that’s really where I focus is on what what behaviors are we going to change and how do we change them? I think we all have some idea like, well you know what? I know exercise is good for my mental and emotional health and I hear that eating right is good and meditation might be good. But a lot of us struggle to make any kind of lasting change with those things or to really stick with them. So that’s a lot of what I focus on with people is how do you make the change in your life you want to make? From things like I just described exercise or eating right to people who are trying to finish a dissertation or I’ve helped people finish novels or people who are trying to start businesses. If there’s a behavior, if there’s  something you want to change, that’s kind of what I think I’m an expert at.

Vincent M. Wales: Now a lot of us have experience with making changes, but just not being able to keep at it. You know this is… we’re recording this in late January so recently it was all, you know, New Year’s resolution times, right? People are going to make their insistence on eating better and exercising and yet, come March, they’re not doing it. So what is a way that we can make the change going over the long term?

Eric Zimmer: So one of the things that happens to a lot of us is we we have this narrative in our head that says you know what? I’m the kind of person that just can’t stick with anything or I’m the kind of person who can never finish anything. So we start to make a change and it’s going along well. And then like I mentioned something knocks this off track, our kids get sick, our dog needs to go to the vet, we get sick, and then all of a sudden that voice in our head starts to say again to us, see? I knew you couldn’t stick with it, I knew you wouldn’t stick with it. And then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So a lot of it is about really learning how to get back on track quickly. Some of it is learning how to adjust as your life changes. So you might have a routine that’s going really well, but you start traveling for work. So how do you keep the routine going while you travel for work, or you enter a busy season at work or it’s summer and the kids are out of school. It’s about being able to sort of adjust to what you’re doing, how much you’re doing, when you’re doing it, how you’re doing it. All of that to kind of adjust as life changes, because the same routine usually won’t work for people forever and ever and ever. It needs to be adjustable. But what happens is that when life starts to move around in ways we don’t expect, we get off track and we tend to give up. So that’s one really big one is to just get back on track as soon as possible. There’s another one that’s really important that I sort of call… the analogy I make is like don’t kill the plant, right? So if you think of your habit as like a plant, there are times that when you’re at home you can water the plant and you can take good care of it and you talk to it if that’s your thing, right? But then inevitably something happens. You go out of town for a week. When you go out of town for a week, all you’re really after you might ask your mom to come by and water the plant once a week. You just don’t want to kill the plant. And sometimes habits are this way. If you get a really busy week, what we want to do is not kill the habit. So if your routine is to go the gym every day for an hour, but the week just is really really busy, you’re better off to go to the gym every day for 10 minutes.  You know reduce the scope, stick to the schedule is what well-known habits person says, because that keeps the habit alive. And that’s really the key is how do you just keep the habit alive so that when circumstances are better you can kind of get back to the full version of the habit? So those are just some of the ways to get through when things change a lot and how to really make a habit stick long term.

Gabe Howard: I really like all of that. I can relate to a lot of it even in my own life and in my own recovery and you know from personal goals to business goals, that all resonates and makes a lot of sense. So I’m about to throw a wrench in it and ask what happens when somebody like me gets off track? Because I know I’m going to get off track. So what are the strategies to get back on track?

Eric Zimmer: I think that the most important is just to almost expect that that’s going to happen. Right? Because if you expect that getting off track is part of the process, if you recognize that that’s going to happen to most everybody at some point or other, then it’s a lot easier to get back on track because you don’t assign a whole lot of moral judgment to it. You don’t think it says something about you. You don’t do what I said just a minute ago, which is you start telling yourself, see I knew I couldn’t do it. You just know like, oh yeah that happens sometimes. I’m going to get back on. The other thing you can do that can be really helpful is if you get off track, is it’s often important to start the habit smaller than it was. So let’s take exercise as an example. Maybe you’re used to exercising for an hour a day, right? And you get off track for a couple of weeks or you get off track even for a month. A lot of times we try and pick right back up where we were and often that is too difficult. And so a lot of times what can be helpful is to start doing something that’s a little bit easier. A smaller version of it and build up to it. And that’s often one of the key ways to start a good habit is start smaller than you think you need to do. Find something that you could do every day and succeed at to build a habit. And so the same thing can happen if you get off track. Often it’s helpful to sort of step back a little bit. So I like to meditate you know 20 to 40 minutes a day, but there have been some times over the last couple of years where I’ll get off track and I’ll miss some days of meditation and what I’ll find is that all of a sudden jumping back up to 40 minutes feels like a lot. So I’ll give myself permission to start back over at 10 minutes a day and build my way back up. So that can be a way to get back on track when it feels really hard to get started again.

Vincent M. Wales: So what if you’ve been off track for say, I dunno, 20 years? How small can I start?

Eric Zimmer: [laughs] Joking aside, as absolutely small as you need to. So let’s… I’ll use meditation again, right? I have been an on again off again meditator since I was 18 years old. That was a long time ago, right? And so I would try and meditate for 30 minutes a day. I pick up a book and it’d say you should meditate for 30 minutes a day. So I would try and meditate for 30 minutes a day. And in my particular case, sitting down to meditate is kind of like inviting the circus to come to town and 30 minutes was too long. It was too hard. So I would manage to gut it out for a few days or a few weeks, but eventually I would stop. And so finally about five years ago, I decided that I was going to meditate for three minutes a day, but I was going to do it every single day. That was the tradeoff. I’m not going to try and do 30 minutes; I’m going to do three, but I’m going to do it every day. And from there, I was able to build to four to five… you know finally up to 20, 30, 40 minutes by slowly slowly building up, but in the beginning you look at three minutes you go, that’s ridiculous. Nobody is going to get any benefit out of three minutes of meditation or you know if you’re trying to get in good shape you know say, well I’m not going to get any benefit out of taking a walk around the block. But what you’re doing is you’re building the habit, you’re beginning to put that structure in place you’re beginning to feel better about yourself and you’re beginning to build some momentum. So seriously, no amount is too small. When I work with a client, if they’re struggling, like if we if we try and build a habit and it’s not taking, we will just keep trying a smaller and smaller amount until they are able to do it. Consistently and frequently. And then we’ll build from there. If we go too far, too fast, it’s often difficult to do. And there’s a really good reason for all this. There’s actual a behavioral model out there that a Stanford professor B.J. Fogg developed, and I’m not going to go into it, but it lays it out in sort of a graphic where you can see very clearly why that principle works.

Gabe Howard: Eric, I like that you use conventional wisdom, facts, and just support in order to help people get to where they’re going. You know, so many people want to focus you know just on the goal or just on the science or just on the hugging and while all of those things are important, they often you know, we kind of need to put them all together. I mean I need somebody to tell me what to do just as much as I need somebody to tell me how I can do it when it comes to certain things in our lives and I think that’s one of the things that has made you a successful coach and no doubt why people listen to your podcast.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah I think you’re absolutely right. I love when I start to see modern science back up something that comes from you know more of an ancient tradition and you sort of see both those things agreeing. I always feel like that’s like… I like that because it’s so he gives me reinforcement from two sources. And I also agree with you, I think that all of us are told over and over and over and over what we need to do, but a lot of the problem is in actually doing it.

Vincent M. Wales: Yes indeed.

Gabe Howard: Hear hear. So Eric, please plug your podcast one more time. I am assuming that it can be found on every single podcast player imaginable, but does it have a web site?

Eric Zimmer: It does. The podcast is called The One You Feed. So like you said, search any podcast player or oneyoufeed.net.

Vincent M. Wales: Eric, thanks for being on the show. This was very informative and we really appreciate you taking the time to be with us.

Eric Zimmer: Thank you so much for having me on. I really enjoy talking with both of you.

Gabe Howard: You’re very welcome and Vin, I think I know what you might be getting for your birthday. Eric sells gift certificates.

Vincent M. Wales: Ahhhh…

Gabe Howard: Thank you Eric for being here and thank you everyone for tuning in. And remember you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private, online counselling anytime, anywhere by visiting betterhelp.com/psychcentral. We’ll see everybody next week.

Narrator 1: Thank you for listening to the Psych Central Show. Please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes or wherever you found this podcast. We encourage you to share our show on social media and with friends and family. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/show. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website. Psych Central is overseen by Dr. John Grohol, a mental health expert and one of the pioneering leaders in online mental health. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who travels nationally. You can find more information on Gabe at GabeHoward.com. Our co-host, Vincent M. Wales, is a trained suicide prevention crisis counselor and author of several award-winning speculative fiction novels. You can learn more about Vincent at VincentMWales.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email talkback@psychcentral.com.

About The Psych Central Show Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

    Vincent M. Wales is a former suicide prevention counselor who lives with persistent depressive disorder. He is also the author of several award-winning novels and creator of the costumed hero, Dynamistress. Visit his websites at www.vincentmwales.com and www.dynamistress.com.

      from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2IKA5fl via theshiningmind.com

[k0-gane]

hey y’all. my friend asked why vld sucked this season so i ended up writing on junior thesis on that instead (not really but. may as well be) so i thought i’d share it here.

i tried to keep it as unbiased towards ships as possible, but with the way s8 began, i couldnt keep it entirely unbiased.

first off, rushed romantic plots that add nothing to the story. like at this rate no one gives a shit that it wasnt klance or anything, its just the fact that it came out of *nowhere.* it had no build up, and the voice actors and producers said there would be ONE romantic subplot, and that it would be slow burn, and give lance "what he needs, not what he wants." we got neither. it was the girl who hed been oogling over since the beginning, who showed no interest in him the entire time. up until some random episode in s7? for like half a second. first episode of s8 is them going on a date and its all just very one sided and icky. he's like "oh man i love u" and allura isnt showing ANY interest what so ever and it just feels. wrong and lazy.

so they get together, fast forward through a bunch of episodes that are PAINFULLY BORING. by the end of it, they kill off allura for *no reason.* and destroy any strong character traits she had (which they already did with the allurance arc, since she was always portrayed as someone very independent). i didnt even like her that much as a character but even i can see how they fucked that up?

did i mention how slow and boring it was. not as bad as s7 but jesus fuck i had to skip some parts of the episodes.

for the past like... 3 seasons, theyve made voltron irrelevant. its supposed to be the strongest weapon in the universe, emphasized *so many times.* but then suddenly. everyone and their mother has something that is equal or greater in strength than voltron. at first it makes sense, with lotor's version, he built it with allura before saying "lmao sike!!" but ofc heroes always win despite a Hard and Rough fight. then next season, they return to Earth, and theyre EXTREMELY behind all the other races that the paladins have come across. yet look at that. they have something similar to voltron, and Shiro ends up captaining it. its also much larger (albeit not as agile) but it does the same as lotor's version and the original voltron. goes from ships to one big mecha. then we have the robeasts for s8. which theres i think 5 or 6 of them. wow. great. they dont do the whole ship to mecha thing, but are built the same way as the other 3 things to my understandings.

what makes voltron "the most powerful weapon in the universe" if anyone can manufacture it?

end of s8! lance suddenly becomes altean, with absolutely NO explanation. was he always part altean? but that wouldnt make sense, since its emphasized a whole lot that his family is just cuban, with absolutely no alien origins. is it like some sort of disease that transferred onto him? is allura's spirit supposedly living inside him? we were never told. so that's fun.

he also becomes a fucking farmer at the end. he was the guy who was always like "im gonna be the best pilot ever, no matter what!!!" and that was his only dream to be a fighter pilot. why the fuck would he throw it away to be a farmer? its just.. wh??

also they threw away everything that i loved about keith, but that had been happening for the past few seasons. he's basically a carbon copy of shiro now.

lastly for salt in the wound: they tried to clean up the whole shiro being gay thing. they added him getting married to some nameless character guy at the end. it was basically a "haha look! see! we told you he was gay! there's the rep that you guys wanted and that we claimed you'd get!" for context, they claimed that the rep in voltron would satisfy the viewers.

[comicteaparty]

August 9th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 9th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Himawari Share by Harmony Becker.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Himawari Share by Harmony Becker~! (https://tapas.io/series/Himawari-Share) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

snuffysam

It's really hard to pick, but I'd say the Hyejung-focused parts (chapters 5 & 6) were my favorites. Focusing on her studies, not knowing what she wants to be, tearing out her roots to move to Japan, getting homesick and feeling guilty for it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello!

snuffysam

like, emotions and stuff

also hello justin!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey~!

yeah heyjung's backstory is a lot more tense than i was expecting. but i loved how everything was visually framed

although my favorite moment had to be when she went to that counselor and she just flat out couldnt say what she wanted to do with her life

cause man have i been there and that moment so purely relateable

snuffysam

yeah that was a big turning point, and my favorite moment in her backstory

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Thanks for the greeting~

I have to run a quick errand but I'll be back!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i also loved the aftermath though of all the others bringing her stuff for her hangover. like that was just sweet and heartwarming.

snuffysam

sweet and heartwarming seems to be the general theme

for example, the scene where tina brings nao a soda

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. also a great scene. but also that scene made me like tina a whole lot. it had that element of goofiness (since she just picked her favorite) but had that immense kind-hearted underbelly. because i mean really, i dont know anyone who would bring me a soda to congratulate me on my first day of school.

i think my personal fave scene is actually when nao and masaki are walking together and each just having these thoughts about how they should interact and the various scenarios. especially nao imagining the music would bond them as friends while masaki is like "oh no i will be looked down upon for liking lady gaga."

snuffysam

and then they both end up too afraid to talk to each other lol

relatable scene, and i love how it helps build the characters of nao and masaki

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. i also love that it shows a good side to masaki in that hes basically just an average, socially awkward dork who is probably having some language and cultural gap problems. since ya know, our first impression of him was just rudeness otherwise.

i want to say in general i really love this comic's pacing though. like i always feel like the emotions are given time to be showcased but dont drag on too overly much.

snuffysam

the pacing is a real strong suit of the comic, agreed

were we ever told what masaki and shinichi's nationality/native language was?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

no albeit i assume for shinichi its japanese since he doesnt seem able to really do english and speaks quickly. which generally if youre a native, the quicker you speak. at the very least theyve gotta be fluent.

snuffysam

wait, i guess they aren't international students, because the comic description only says there are three

so they're just two japanese brothers who happen to live in the same house as three international students

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. for reasons O_O. although i am curious if anyone else lives there. cause nao asks tina who the curly haired guy was and tina was like "hmm maybe masaki" and then nao had to say rude for tina to be sure

so either this is just a writing goof or its implied more ppl live there?

snuffysam

yeah you'd think if it was only the five of them, "curly haired boy" would narrow it down quite a bit

also i think we ignored @Sa💅

hello Sa!

not really a scene per se, but i really like the way the comic scratches out words that aren't understood

like this page: https://tapas.io/episode/756155

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah i just thought it was a reply to the hellos. welcome @Sa💅 if you felt ignored O_O;;;

of all the things that is my fave part

cause i was skeptical on the language thing when i read the description

but man do i think it actually captures the language gap well

since it is what happens

you know lots of words but then theres always those difficult ones where youre like "omg wtf was that"

snuffysam

hamini really delivered in terms of showing how second languages work

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i also selfishly enjoyed that nao and i are decently close in japanese language understanding cause i wound up reading a lot of the japanese she could understand.

but then kanji

always kanji everywhere all the time

snuffysam

i took a semester of japanese four years ago and flunked lol. i can get through "はい " and that's about it.

i'm a bit better with spoken, but not much

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey its something.

this reminds me, i really liked that scene where tina applied language knowledge to figure out vacuum

snuffysam

that was a really cool moment!

as were the rest of the parts where tina had to figure out the instructions given to her

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. like man do i give tina all around props for that. i would have left crying cause new jobs are stressful enough without adding a language deficiency to the mix

QUESTION 2. Of those staying in Himawari Share, Shinichi and Masaki are the two we know least about in the current story. Do you think there’s any particular reason the two are staying at Himawari Share, or does it just happen to have a convenient location for them? Like the other characters, do you think they have personal histories or pasts that will come to light? Do you think that it is significant in some way that Shinichi and Masaki are mentioned to be brothers? As time goes on, do you think the others will bond with Masaki, or will the language and culture gap keep interfering? What about Shinichi? Will Nao, at least, become able to understand him better, or will his fast talking still prove too much?

i want to go out on a limb and just say theyre there cause convenient location. but i do think they got some sort of hidden past history. cause at the very least shinichi and masaki dont really look like theyre related. so it makes me wonder if this is maybe a half-sibling relationship going on

snuffysam

oh theory time?

i think they are actually brothers, they just happened to look different. that's how it goes somethimes

i think himawari share is a convenient location for them, but i have no idea what it would be convenient too. like, what are their jobs?

also, my guess - nao is going to start understanding what shinichi is saying, but at first it'll only be, like, she catches every other word.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah im confused at what the share is. cause the girls make it look like its like a special house dorm house for international students who are coming to work and learn in japan. but shinichi and masaki definitely dont appear to be international, so what are they doing there? now its possible they are also going to college in some fashion. but im not entirely sure since it still seems weird to have potentially two natives with three international students.

but to be fair, maybe they own himawari share

cause shinichi and masaki are def both first name

s

snuffysam

yeah maybe that's just their family home that they rent out

perhaps there are plenty of other people there, and the girls just don't hang out with them because they don't relate as much

international students sticking together and stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah that could also be. although the house seems in a residential area so there cant be too many

alternatively

theres only one other dude living there and hes a shut in that you see once in a blue moon

and theres gonna be some other festival and suddenly hell come out and nao will be le gasp

snuffysam

that sounds about right, yeah

and it would explain tina not knowing who nao was talking about

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

alternatively alternatively, it is just the 5 of them and tina just happens to know a lot of people who look like masaki and forgets who even lives with her

snuffysam

maybe masaki doesn't live there, he just really likes the bathroom

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

masaki lives never door but his bathroom broke and hes too lazy to fix it. comes over to his brother's place all the time.

i really hope we get to see more of shinichi cause of all the characters he seems the most one note atm. and idk what to make of him. although i do like that hes kind of like their tour guide who take sthem to festivals

snuffysam

i think it's just that the comic isn't particularly long yet and shinichi isn't one of the main characters

the description says romance is in the cards, but it doesn't say between whom

that may be where shinichi gets some development

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it could be. and to be fair, shinichi's mystery kind of suits the fact that theres the language gap cause he clearly doesnt know english well or at all. so its hard to get to know someone well when theres only so many words shared between

like how that convo between nao and hyejung was really formal and stifled before they realized they both spoke english

snuffysam

well, hopefully shinichi is more open to talking about his interests than his brother

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. although backing up the train for a moment, id like to know why both brothers seemingly dont seem to know any english. cause english is generally required learning in japan and while a lot of ppl arent good at it, theyed probably at least know a few basic phrases. so it strikes me as interesting neither has attempted that much. tho tbf has masaki even said anything?

snuffysam

i think masaki corrected the neighbor lady about his name

but that's it

we don't know if they can speak english or not, i think

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i mean they could. but i could also see them choosing not to since the girls are all there to kind of learn japanese

snuffysam

oh no wait, there is a page where it's shown shinichi doesn't understand english

https://tapas.io/episode/839877

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. One of the comic’s themes revolves around finding yourself, and this issue has given many characters quite the obstacle. In the case of Nao, do you think she will come to terms with that missing part of herself by being in Japan, or will there forever be a gap no matter how much time she spends there? As Nao spends more time there, do you think she’ll feel the culture gap grow or shrink, and how might that affect her? In the case of Hyejung, do you think she’ll figure out what she wants to do with her life, or do you think that still might remain elusive? Additionally, do you think she’ll be able to reconcile with her family? Lastly, in the case of Tina, do you think her part time job will work out, or will the language gap make things too much of a struggle? If she does lose her job, what do you think she’ll do and how might this affect her reasons for being in Japan?

snuffysam

do we know why tina is in japan?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont think so. and if you dont think so, im gonna feel safe in saying we havent been told

although tina seems like the type to just like adventures

although whereas nao and hyejung give me the impression that they might someday go back to their home countries, tina gives me the impression that this is a permanent thing

at least compared to hyejung, tina seems to care the least about reliving her own culture persay

snuffysam

i think it's not going to turn out how any of the girls' plan. maybe hyuejung finds her purpose is back in korea, maybe it's in japan, etc.

nao is here to reconnect to the missing part of herself and re-learn japanese. while she may end up learning japanese, i don't think reconnecting with her past will happen so much.

she'll see a large culture gap, or get distracted with something else

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm back!

snuffysam

hi justin!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hey Snuffy!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

wb!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Thanks!

Ooh, a Japanese festival?!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

there was one in the comic, yes already, yes.

tbh i do think hyejung isnt going to find exactly what she wants. because i feel her desire to go to japan was driven more by a desire to escape her reality versus thinking "yes this is the place where i can find myself"

and shes the one who seems most homesick as well

not ot say i think the journey will be in vain

and i think shell at least learn things about herself

like how to live independently for herself

away from the parents

in nao's case, i think shell...come to terms that she cant have a different past. im actually thinking whats going to happen is shes going to run into something that makes her go "whoa wait america was way better in this aspect" and then shell realize that if she had stayed in japan, she also wouldnt know the american culture she grew up in.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Perhaps

snuffysam

at some point nao likened it to having a twin that was separated from her at birth. and i think her journey will involve coming to terms with the fact that she can't recover that lost twin. she's gone forever.

lots of great metaphors in this comic btw

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I thought Nao was from Korea.

snuffysam

no you're thinking of hyejung

nao is the one who was born in japan but grew up in america

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh right, my bad I saw this page and I thought wrong because of it https://tapas.io/episode/1021922

snuffysam

yeah that chapter follows hyejung

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

aye, thanks

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do think thats the case with nao. shes going to have to realize that she cant have two pasts or that other half. but i do think being in japan will be both good and bad for it. cause on the plus side, she gets to see what she missed out on, but on the otherhand shes also going to feel the sting of that gap cause im sure shes gonna run into a festival where shes plain just like "i dont understand this"

although assuming her mom is still alive(?) then itll be interesting if she can talk to her mom in japanese again or something

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah.

You know, reading this comic made me remember how much I thought it'd be cool to visit Japan back in high school and planned to go there as a graduation present. How wrong I was.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

this comic gives me the should go to japan itch again. especially to eat the food

which im glad food is involved a lot

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Mmm

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause thats a huge facet of the culture

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I wish I loved Japanese food.

more than I do now

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

on a side note

i loved that little moment where hyejung bitched that the kimchi wasnt even spicy

and how it was made by a japanese run restaurant

cause i liked that detail that just how america amercanizes certain foods, other countries do the same

or at least japan does for sure XD

their mcdonalds are crazy

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol yeah

This hit home for me, in a way

like it's not "authentic"

snuffysam

I’ve had Korean food in a restaurant owned by Korean people. And yeah, it’s a lot spicier

I don’t blame Hyejung lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah i dont blame her either. cause regardless if you grow up used to one flavor, you probably arent gonna be a fan of change

QUESTION 4. Given the focus of the comic is on international students and cultural gaps, to a degree, there are lots of interesting potential scenarios. Did you find the comic’s unique method of showcasing language gaps interesting? How did it change how you viewed the characters’ experiences? Are there any cultural experiences that you’re looking forward to seeing the characters experience? If so, why? Do you feel our heroines will continue to be able to wing it, or will they commit some sort of cultural blunder? If the latter, how do you expect that to play out and emotionally affect the culprit? On a more character oriented level, what other struggles do you think the characters might have in their everyday, personal lives? Do you think everyone will continue to get along, or might tension in Himawari Share grow for some reason? Lastly, do you think romance might be in bloom with any characters?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's certainly very interesting and it shows up the potential troubles of going out into a whole new world

snuffysam

Everyone gets along so well, I just know someone’s going to mess up

Call me a pessimist lol

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

snuffy, youre a pessimist

but no i agree

they have been getting along real well

and at some point theyre going to fight

cause at the very least living together isnt easy

cause everyone has different habits

and call me biased, but pretty sure if its a living together thing tina is gonna be the cause of it just cause she has the most unreserved personality

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah.

Eventually all that rage and stress will just need to be all let out.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

one thing i didnt mention about the language thing was that i was glad to see there was a difference between nao and tina. cause tina clearly has a better grasp and that shows, both in how much she understands and how she has learned to learn via context clues.

snuffysam

yeah there's a clear difference between everyone's skill level

even just the "yeah it took me a while to get used to shinichi talking" is an example of that

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's great seeing everyone talking in all the different languages(edited)

Especially since it's not easy to do Japanese and Korean in comics unless you're overly familiar with the language yourself (or have a translator)(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes thats also true with the shinichi talking part. i really felt for nao in that moment.

cause its an easier said than done thing

im gonna ship nao and masaki. thats where im putting my shipping chips

snuffysam

perhaps a source of conflict comes from romance coming about with an odd number of people in the house?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I made it for the last bit. O.o Though you mentioned a lot of the stuff I liked in the first half hour already, I'm noticing. The bit where Tina brought the soda for Nao and the bit where the two characters were having different music conversations in their minds.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

eey Math

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I enjoyed those two. The Hyejung at the end, I can see how it's very relatable, and it was emotional, but I guess I just like a bit of funzies in my fave scenes. ^.^(edited)

I'm gonna ship Nao and Tina, because you KNOW me.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi math~! was even just thinking "aww i guess math isnt coming after all."

plz math

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

mmm, ships

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

clearly tina and hyejung are the ship

they have more history

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

That's just it, they haven't fallen in love yet. Chips go on the new relationship.

Also, related to what SJ was saying before, the author must be very good with languages or know many herself... I have zero clue if it's right or not, but it's a pretty gutsy venture.

snuffysam

yeah either the author knows three plus languages, or has some really good friends

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the japanese is correct from what i can tell. at least the parts i could read.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

There's also those little things that can trip one up in translation, like the "Let's Eat" kind of being the Japanese thanks for the food thing. I think the author even pointed it out once, with the part time job, both of them thanking the other for working, not really being an English thing.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah, I wouldn't ever think to do a foreign language in something of mine unless I rely on a translator.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I didn't totally pick up on the skills of the individual characters either, but since you did, it's cool that it can come across too.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm bilingual for English and French and even I'm not sure I'd want to do it.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

what you mean you dont want to do a strip where all the tans start speaking french? XD

i feel like shinichi would be the one to bring a relationship in from the outside

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Not so much, no.

Yeah, we haven't seen much of the guys (which I notice you mentioned earlier)... honestly, I'm okay with that. I like the focus on the women (and not just because I ship that way) as they all have sort of a bond.

snuffysam

shinichi seems a bit more outgoing, so i wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to already be in a relationship

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh, and the speed-talking thing was well portrayed.

I also want to say it was neat having that character who lives across the street come back in a later scene, when they were going to the post office. Helps make things extra real, incidentals like that.

snuffysam

i liked how she didn't know masaki's name lol

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol

snuffysam

he might not get out much

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Could be to avoid talking. And just not wanting to talk even to strangers for fear of making a mistake.

Maybe that explains the rudeness too.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

to be fair, i dont know a single one of my neighbors. and if you dont interact with your neighbors, you dont know their names

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

If you start with rudeness, people won't talk to you either, and you won't have to interpret. Yeah, I don't know my neighbours either. ^^;;

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I don't even have any neghibors

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Final thought, super impressed by the translation stuff. Including the blurring of just some words, which was also pointed out earlier. I don't think I've seen anything like that.

Also, Nao + Tina.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Harmony Becker, as well, for making Himawari Share and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Harmony Becker’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Raison d'Etre by Cloud Fourteen (Funari and Leigh). As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on August 16th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://raisondetrecomic.tumblr.com/