#which only makes me want to crave putting him in the blender more

[sparky-is-spiders]

It's actually insane how much Twilight was the blueprint for my fixation on Jon. Tired stressed out academic who I want to ship w/ everyone (except their canon love interest) and who I needed to see suffering and struggling and who I was literally constantly biased for regardless of circumstances. They are truly the Characters of all time to me.

[peasthedumb]

All of my blorbos over time

Songs of war:

Thalleous: omg my original guy, I wish he was my dad. Fangirled back when I was cringe. I mean bad cringe, not my more controlled choice of current cringe. He’s so cool, and I mean, there was a later reveal he was almost entirely evil but…..he is my boi.

Galleous: Thalleous 2! But this time he’s sweeter, and more mundane! Instead of going on hunts, bein badass, slaughtering his foes and adopting orphans, he works a 9 to 5 and worries about his friends and family. Also he keeps birds that search and tell him all the latest gossip.Has some unlikely dodgy friends. (Also is the last living blacksmith able to forge ender knight armour HELLO? HE WAS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT?! HE DID A THING?!)

Ingressus: FUCKING MORALLY GREY BAD GUY WHO COMMITS MASS WAR CRIMES AND SINGLE HANDEDLY STARTED 2 WORLD WARS AND HAS A TRAGIC SIBLING DYNAMIC, NEED I SAY MORE. AND HIS TRAUMA COMES FROM MY OTHER BLORBOS? Basically my original Nootmare.

Undertale/Underverse:

Nootmare: have you even seen my blog? I don’t need to say anything more, I’m gonna eat him for breakfast. Put him in a blender. My one true blorbo, made history in my life, has shaped and forged aspects of myself, including my favourite colours

Dream: he’s just along for the ride with noot noot really, I feel bad favouriting one and not the other cause like- wasn’t that the whole problem which caused dreamtale as we know it. I do adore his innocent childishness.

Killer: ….he is bouncing off the walls with unbridled chaos and energy. I love him, plus he’s part of my favourite ship.

Dust: not really sure how I used to blorbo him, but he holds a special place in my heart. Was my entry into utmv because i couldn’t make sense of anyone else.

Hollow knight:

Pale king: omg he’s such a shit dad!! He loves his wife! He absolutely adores her! He actually cares for his kingdom! He’s so short but he’s a god and a king!! He glows! He REALLY loves his wife, he’s so wholesome! And he’s dead! Also kinda had to….have a child with someone else as part of a deal to save the kingdom but….we forget that!! His wife literally said she didn’t mind so oh well.

Broken vessel: tell me your mysteries. (Omfg it is so difficult to blorbo a empty fucking vessel with no personality or notable experiences)

Hollow knight: I nearly cried when I found his statue. Man he’s so tragic, I can’t imagine the agony. One of my very few blorbos who I think has been through enough trauma. I don’t need to do any more.

Red dead redemption (one of my stranger fixations):

Sean: don’t even remember who that was but I thought he was cool apparently.

Hosea: just a decent old guy, I think.

Rainworld:

Five pebbles: tragic sibling dynamic les goooo, all of my favourite blorbos are tragic sibling dynamics. Fucking love this depressed suicidal grumpy ass god computer who occasionally fat shames obese cats. (Canonically calls fat cat rotund, cannot get over it hdhdjdhdhd). Wish I could repair him. Or humble him. One or the other.

Artificer: Bomb cat bomb cat bomb cat. Rabid, 15 diseases, craves the fall of entire societies, also adopted the depressed supercomputer. 5P: “I don’t want a cat” *Artificer shows up* 5P: “this is my cat”

No significant harassment: only one man (supercomputer) could make puns when facing eternal struggle and agony and failure of his own kind. I want to be his friend. I shipped him with 5P at some point, and I did and do love that ship but I forgot how it made sense to me.

Outer wilds:

Gabbro: GLOBBERT. Also basically the NSH of outerwilds. Just chilling in his hammock, playing flute, relaxing and meditating as he’s stuck in a time loop, being incinerated by a supernova over and over, facing the end of the entire fucking universe. Also smart af.

Solanum: NOMAI GAL NOMAI GAL. Just cool ig, tbh I think my favourite nomai is Mallow but there’s not enough blorbo material.

Dinotrux (yeah….i dunno):

Skrap-it: (did I spell it right) man he gets done dirty, I want him to be happy for once, not be insulted and abused.

Rev-it: lil nerd, I don’t have much to say about him but omg it’s the lil nerd, he’s such a nerd (pos)

Click-clack: me every time something goes slightly off-plan. I vibe with him.

[5hrignold]

lsp episodes ranked by how much they make me want to punch myself in the face out of how upset i am that i cant hug and hold her for 4 hours straight

bad timing is the big one. the entire premise of that episode is basically “what if lsp finally found someone who really likes her and she connects with but it was her fault she lost him” and i love it. it consumes my mind that she could’ve had it all right there. and i really think the cherry on top is the way at the end she begs for bonnie to erase her memory of the whole thing. literally who wouldn’t do the same thing. i would

be sweet is rlly good because it has sweet pea and Also because it addresses that yeah lsp is now on good terms with her parents and doing things for herself and doing well but she still isn’t happy. she still feels alone and disconnected from other people and she regrets choices she’s made that make her feel like she isn’t worth good things other people have. it matters a lot to me because that specific thing of hers pretty much is never brought up any other time ever except in this episode so it’s special. also the part near the end where she sings the little lullaby to sweet pea Aaaaaaa. ya! her soft voice is my fav thing eever 😊😊😊

slime central is another one where it kinda revolves around her self esteem being put into a blender on highest speed lol. her idea of perfect is skating with her friends and having a boyfriend Basically. and that just gets taken away with her, she’s rejected and called terrible and humiliated. and yet after that she’s still herself because like. she has to be. the 2 biggest moments in that ep is when she falls over and everyone in booing and she’s just laying on her back in the dark looking absolutely mortified and after they get kicked out where she’s crying about never fitting in

I KNOW loyalty to the king is not an lsp episode but what there IS of her is really good. just that one scene of her wanting to be whatever the nice king finds most convenient for him and straight up PUNCHING HERSELF to force her body to be smooth.. Its a lot. its a good chunk of her character summarised like yea that 30 second scene is literally her

the monster is super important because it’s the 2nd super lsp centric episode and it does a good job summarising what she goes through throughout the series. trouble in lumpy space is like a basic introduction of her life in the most neutral “nothing has happened yet” state and this episode shows what happens afterwards and how it makes her feel. she craves the feeling of being in control of her life but it’s either not getting that or upsetting her parents so that’s already like. she’s in a bit of an emotional corner. so she runs away and is met with nothing but what feels like just more punishment for just wanting to prove to herself that she can do things on her own. also this episode im PRESUMING is where she discovers her love and deep connection to animals!! which is absolutely one of my favourite aspects of her so fuckin awefomeee

the prince who wanted everything is really really good bc it’s an entire episode basically of her venting her feelings through her fionna and cake fanfic of her oc. it’s mostly reflective of her feelings towards finn, how he was the one who made her really realise her worth, but also stuff about how she prefers to do things that make her feel good and free in the moment, and how she views her parents, even if just internally. also people take the line about lumpy space prince only being able to date “someone who is so much like me she doesn’t even exist” as another like ohh classic self absorbed lsp Moment haha! but i really really like it bc it resonates with me lowkey . lol

princess day is another one that revolves around her guilt for acting the way she does and it being all she knows how to be. from the very start of the episode her mere presence is seen as an offense and an insult to everyone around eachother and so, having not much else to do in that position, she lashes out on breakfast princess. which AGAINNN again is very much a summary of her entire character. people hate her no matter what so she resorts to doing all she knows - being loud and assertive to make people respect her at the very least. this episode is also super special bc it shows us the exact moment her and marcy meet !!! in my mind she’s kinda the first to person to really listen to what lsp has to say, and her troubles and stuff, and she genuinely enjoys her company and lsp is absolutely flattered by how fondly marcy treats her and frankly never stopped being super cautious of it for a while until she Knew she really likes her

summer showers is kind of a blur to me but it is super good. i really like viola and her dynamic with lsp in this episode is cute. we get a whole scene where lsp just ends up venting to viola pretty much completely on accident while trying to tell her how to get the raindrops just perfectly right, because everything in the play has to be top tier since it’s very important to her. this episode gives another peek into how much of a little nerd lsp is which NO ONE talks about. she loves writing, she loves acting things out and being super dramatic and getting really into playing characters, she gets invested in silly things, she’s like best friends with turtle princess for crying out loud. she is cringe!!!!! and it’s adorable and wonderful of her!!!

i talked about trouble in lumpy space before so continuing. i do like that basically her first act in the show is screwing something up completely on accident without her being able to control it (her ability to float suddenly disappearing and that resulting in her biting finn). it’s really really good lol. i love this episode so dearly for 2 huge reasons ; it’s the most we see of early seasons lsp, and it establishes what her life was like before she started being more independent. the people she knew, where she went and how her people view her, her relationship with her parents and her friends and stuff. i feel like without all the stuff we learn about lumpy space in this episode there’d be WAY less to lsp. im just extremely grateful for it because the damn place pretty much never appears again in the entire series apart from the happy place thing in elements and lsp’s scene in the come along with me ending sequence

the creeps, again, not at all An Lsp Episode, BUT it does have a scene that reveals some stuff about her that’s important, which is her inability to really commit to relationships without being afraid. she objects to talking about why she broke up with brad at first but while finn is talking to bonnie she just completely falls apart to the pressure (which is absolutely nothing) and breaks out rambling about how much she regrets it and how she thought all you needed to do to be a good girlfriend was to look pretty. which lfhfhfbfdbdbfbfbfbbfbf. my Girl…………….my poor girl

i dont really have anything to say about from bad to worse lol. she’s cute in it! the way she snatches the instructions immediately and pouts at everyone while doing so and the way she shoves everyone aside talking about how she should go first… So good. also she looks so fucking good with wings can we talk ab that maybe some time

gotcha is like Maybe perhaps my favourite out of all of these. and it’s probably because while a lot of these make me sad with the stuff they all imply about lsp and her insecurities, this one makes me SO happy. how she is at the beginning, how confident she is waltzing toward the treehouse talking about how finn won’t be able to resist her because of how beautiful she is, the way she makes the treehouse cozy for herself without anyone’s permission, her friendship with turtle princess sprinkled throughout the episode, the part with finn tucking her in, THE WHOLE PART WITH HIM SAVING HER SND THEN TELLING HER SHE DOESNT NEED TO BE PRETTY PHYSICALLY FOR PEOPLE TO LOVE HER. AHHHHHH . Good Episode. GOOD. Episode.

sorry for the tone change but as for those last three episodes i really dont have much to say like at all. absolutely all she is in them is a device used for a joke. WHICH IM FINE WITH. ADVENTURE TIME IS A KIDS SHOW AND AN OFTEN LIGHTHEARTED ONE AT THAT I DONT CARE. sorry this description really makes it seem like i dislike how she is in these eps. idk if you could tell but i fucking love lsp always. she could do the most heinous things and id defend her and adore her for it always. she has never done a single thing i dislike NOT an exagggerarion. at all. /srs there ill even say that if it makes you believe just how much i love her. space girl help me

[thran-duils]

I Crave Annihilation (P.3)

Title: I Crave Annihilation (Part Three) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mafia!Dark Tony Stark. Tony works for the reader’s very influential politician father moving guns and drugs. She starts flirting with him and he is returning the vibes. She moves into her own place out of her parent’s house and texts him to come save her from a house party. Smut ensues. Words: 3,069 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, HUGE age difference, angst, violence, infidelity, possessive behavior

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“He’s here,” your mother whispered in your ear as you rinsed the dishes from the counter.

You had gone immediately into the house instead of into the back yard, Gabriel following you inside. He had held out the food he had brought to her and she thanked him. The two of you got under her skin when you two got together at these things but she loved him deeply. He was one of your best friends still. He had walked off towards the liquor cabinet when your mum approached to whisper to you.

“I know,” you told her, not taking your eyes off the dishes.

“Have you seen him?”

“No. I came straight in here. Jackson went out there though. I’m sure Steve will be all too ready to point out to Tony who he is.”

Your mother looked at you worriedly, “Has Steve been bothering you?”

“No. I just know he’s keeping tabs.”

“’Keeping tabs’…” she muttered, shaking her head. “You cannot let him get back underneath your skin.”

“Mum, he’s always been under my skin. I feel I’ve just been trying to fill a void.” You noticed the way she was looking at you and you shrugged, “It’s why I don’t want to go out there. Because I’ll see him… And…”

She shook her head and said crossly, “I told you… I warned you.”

“Are you really going to blame me for feeling this way? You still ended up with dad.” She faltered and you said, “No, I put that together a long while ago. Dad is twelve years older than you!”

“That’s different.”

You reached forward and turned the water off, to stand up and face her fully. “That’s different? Then why did you bring it up that night when you found us?”

“He’s almost twenty years older than you!”

“And?”

“Don’t you love Jackson?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then why would you even entertain the idea?” she sounded exasperated.

“You and dad are more similar to me and him than you are giving me credit for.”

Your mum snapped, “No, I know that. You just have a chance with Jackson.”

“You seem perfectly fine,” you hissed back at her.

“Money softens the blow, Y/N. It doesn’t solve everything.”

“I’m sorry for you that you’ve been miserable for so long.”

“I’m not miserable.”

“You are sure sounding like it!”

“I just… Jackson is good. Jackson treats you like an equal! Yes, I’m happy with your father but I wish he would also treat me like I was his partner rather than just his wife. Jackson gives you that. Tony wouldn’t!”

You paused before asking, “Is that why you were gone all the time?”

“What?” she asked, giving you a shocked look.

“You were always gone. It was always just me and dad. Or me and the nanny.” She opened her mouth to say something but apparently she could not think of anything and she closed it again. You sighed, “It was always me and dad… you were always gone. On some trip. Just at a spa retreat. I never had you around until suddenly in my teens when you realized I had blossomed.”

“Because I had to protect you.” She sounded so self-righteous.

“And you did for years. From the sidelines. Since I was what, 14?” You straightened up seeing Gabriel was coming back from the other room and said quickly and quietly, “I’m going to steer clear of him as much as I can, mum. If that’s what you’re worried about. I do love Jackson.”

Gabriel said, “Mom, I found your favorite rum! Should we make daiquiris?”

Donning a perfect mask and pulling away from you, your mum said, “That sounds lovely, Gabriel.”

With a wink, Gabriel said, “That’s what I always try to be for you. You’re my favorite.”

“Suck up,” your mother teased, shooting another glance at you before walking away and following him to the blender. “There are strawberries in the fridge, love.”

<><><>

“Well, she’s here,” Steve said, before taking a long drag of his cigarette. “At least somewhere because Jacksons here.” He pointed in the general direction quick. Tony looked Jackson over and simpered. Steve smirked in return and said, “Yeah, that’s the competition.”

“He makes her happy though according to you which is pretty big competition,” Tony replied, bringing his own cigarette up to his lips and taking a long drag.

The two of them shut up as Bucky and Sam came back to the table. Bucky had been in prison with Tony as well as Thor and he had not had to confide to them about the relationship because Steve had been on the outside keeping an eye on Y/N for him. They fell back into conversation sans her for a while.

Then Y/N walked out with another guy. He drank her in slowly. She had aged, obviously. But she was still as gorgeous as ever. His eyes ran up her body, trailing over her short, high waisted shorts. He saw she was looking at him and she quickly looked away, turning her attention to the guy at her side again. Tony cocked his head, recognition coming on.

“Is that…” he said to Steve under his breath. Steve looked at Tony for an explanation and Tony said, “That guy from that bar. That one time.”

“Yep. Gabriel. They’ve been friends since college. You think Jackson is gonna be the problem to get her alone? No, it’s going to be Gabriel.” He stopped for a moment before chuckling and saying louder so Bucky and Sam could hear to not arouse suspicion about their whispering, “And Rebecca is already on them.”

“How do you mean?” Tony asked, watching Rebecca stop on a dime and turn back to stare them whispering between each other.

“They always get into trouble,” Steve explained. “One year, she asked Y/N to help her with the food and she was already too drunk to do it and she paid one of her friend’s to do it because her and Gabriel had already been day drinking. They took Molly another year. Gabriel fell off the table he was dancing on and rolled his ankle. Last year… they took some shrooms and disappeared for hours and Rebecca found them in the far back lying amongst the rocks, still high off their asses watching the stars.” He snorted seeing her point at the two of them threateningly. “Yet, she coddles the shit out of him and loves him to death. Look at them and their matching daiquiris.”

<><><>

He had sunglasses on but the way his head was pointed, you knew he was looking at you. Fuck. He had an undercut now, nice glasses, and his shirt unbuttoned, leaning back in the chair without a care. You made sure you did not linger too long on him before turning your eyes away. But you knew it had already been a couple seconds too long no matter how long it was because as soon as he had you in his sights, and he knew he had you, that was endgame.

Gabriel was there and tugged on your arm. He pulled you towards the covered area with the grills where your dad and Thor were cooking. He looked in his element, fresh out of prison and enjoying doing this again.

“I got some…” Gabriel caught your attention again. He gestured snorting and your eyebrows rose in response and he grinned. “When do you wanna?”

“I don’t know if we should though….” you said trailing off, shooting a quick look and finding Tony still watching you. You should be on your toes tonight… but maybe it would make it that much easier to just brush it off if something did happen…

“What? Come on! This is the perfect time! There’s a lot of people around and it’s not like—”

“What are you two whispering about?” your mum asked, startling the two of you. She saw you two jump too before looking at her and she leveled the two of you with a threatening glare. She was carrying a plate of cut vegetables in one hand, her drink in the other, obviously about to go put them out on one of the tables.

“Nothing, mum,” you and Gabriel said in unison.

“What?” you asked innocently when she was still silent after a couple moments.

“I don’t trust either of you. Not after last year.”

Right. The shrooms. And she had found the two of you lying between two of the rocks in the back part of the garden, giggling, half naked.

“I sincerely apologize for that. Still. Can I send you a third bouquet of orchids?” Gabriel said, giving her a curt bow, smiling sheepishly. He held up his drink at her in surrender.

Your mum’s mouth twitched ever so slightly, holding back a smile. She adored Gabriel but she did mean business. She did not want to babysit again this year. Her finger left her glass and she pointed between the two of you and said, “No funny business this year. Especially you, Y/N. Keep your head on straight.”

You held back a scowl at the comment. Gabriel looked confused for a moment and you said as she walked off, “She’s right. I should just stick to drinks.”

“Bitch, I—”

“I’ll do it with you next weekend, Promise! We should give her a break for one year.”

Gabriel groaned and took a long drink of his daiquiri. “Fine! I’ll go ask Jackson to share his bud. Buzzkill! Both of you!”

<><><>

In your old bedroom that you and Jackson were going to sleep in, you tore your shirt off and your swim suit top, tossing them carelessly on the bed. It was getting cold outside and you were ready to change into your pajamas and a sweatshirt. You heard the door open and close behind you as you reached for your pajama top. Without turning around, you said, “I thought you guys were going to stay in the hot tub for a little bit longer.”

“Your hair is different.”

Whipping around, holding your shirt up against your bare chest, you found Tony standing there, hands in his pockets. He was blocking your way to the door, looking confident as ever. Prison had only given him time to work out, as you could plainly see from his open shirt, and apparently had done nothing for his domineering personality. He was still bold as ever, showing up here in your room knowing you were changing when your husband was outside.

“Tony!” you hissed, mortified. “Get out!”

He smirked at your attempt to shield your nudeness from him. “I haven’t seen it in a very long time, but still, is there really any reason to be modest around me? I mean, I’ve been in every hole—”

“Shut up!” you told him furiously – embarrassed, really –, turning away from him, and throwing your shirt over your head. You heard him move and you turned back around quickly finding him closing the space between the two of you and you stood your ground. “You shouldn’t be in here!”

He cocked his head, his face scrunched in vexation. “So, you’ve only been teasing me all night?”

“’Teasing’? What are you going on about?” you said, trying to play dumb.

“Sweet pea, your sneaky glances and putting yourself in my line of sight did not go unnoticed. You’re not subtle, not to me. We played that game for years if you care to recall. Almost three to be exact. The only thing I regret is not going in for you sooner so we would’ve had more time together in the sack. I had a plethora of memories to dive into while I was incarcerated but shit, I would’ve enjoyed more.” He stepped closer and this time you did take a step back and you did not miss his fleeting amusement. He leaned in closer and said, “I know your games and your little tantalizing behaviors.”

The drunker you had gotten throughout the night, the more you found yourself slipping into your old ways. He was correct about that history between the two of you. That first night you had seen him when you were in the pool and since then, you had always tried to be in his sights and it had paid off for you. Tonight, you had found yourself drawn back, adjusting your swimsuit where you knew he could see and sitting in the chairs where he could keep his eye on you. It had been a conscious decision. You hated yourself for it, how much you craved him and his attention still. You were stuck between the life you currently were leading and being dragged back into your relationship with him. Stealing those glances to see if he was looking had only fueled the fire more because he had been watching you like a hawk. Every time you had looked his way, especially when it had gotten dark and his glasses had come off, you caught him always watching your movement. He had looked hungry, just like he looked now.

What your mother said came back to you then, remembering how Jackson treated you versus how she believed – and you knew deep down – Tony would. You hated you wanted Tony so badly and simultaneously craved the partnership you had with Jackson.

“I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea, but Tony, I’m married now,” you said, mustering more calm in your tone than you actually felt.

Tony looked tickled by that response and you gritted your teeth, knowing he was going to brush you off. And he did. “Yeah, I’m happy he was keeping you well and safe for me. You look amazing. I am beyond impressed.” He raised his hand, his hand ghosting down your side to grip at your waist. You tried to flinch away, but his other hand shot up and held you on your other side, preventing you from moving back. His thumbs caressed as he told you, “But you’re still mine, don’t act like you’ve forgotten.”

“You can’t just order me to divorce my husband!” you told him defensively.

“Who said anything about divorce so soon?” Tony chuckled. It was foreboding the way he said ‘so soon’. It was all too clear where he wanted this to go. “I was just starting out with the courteous approach of inserting myself into the situation. Letting it play out.”

God, you hated his ego but fuck if you were not responding in like. Still, you fought against it and tried to hide it. “’Courteous’. Cute, Tony.” You leaned in and said, “If you want tits and pussy, you can go on the Boulevard. It’s about twenty minutes away.”

You pushed his hands down away from you and started to turn away, to reach for your sweatshirt. But his grasp was tight on your arm, yanking you back roughly. You gasped as your noses brushed, before he let you go back a couple inches. You smelled the bourbon on his breath, something you used to relish in.

“I’m not fucking around, Y/N. You’re coming back to me,” he growled. He pulled away even more and looked at you disappointed. He shook his head slightly and said, “You didn’t even come visit.”

That cut deep, unexpected by you. He actually looked hurt.

“I couldn’t! You know I couldn’t leave the state without—”

His demeanor changed in the blink of an eye, again.

“No, this is where you zip it. Okay? The adult is talking,” Tony snapped, his fingers digging into your arm. He melted you right back down to the naïve girl you had been. “You’ve had your fun. Seven years of it actually while I was rotting away in a cell. I’m glad you got to make house and have good dick. And by glad, I mean I am monumentally fucking pissed off.” The words spit like venom. “I had to sit there day after day thinking about how you just threw it away, so easily. I was so disappointed in you, precious. How you could just leave me there like that, after all I did for you?”

Pitifully, you started, “Tony, you’re scaring—”

“Oh, don’t use that as an excuse! Don’t play victim! It’s not cute, Y/N. Stop wasting both our time. You know you want it as bad as I do. I get you feel guilty about your little husband but he was just a placeholder until I got back.” His eyes flashed and his hand left your arm, wrapping around your waist to hold you close. His eyes ran over your face and he leaned like he was going to kiss you and you blinked, watching him closely. He stopped himself at the last second though, running his tongue along his lips. His hand slipped down to your ass, cupping. “I want you around me so badly. So badly. I’ve dreamt about that cunt for years.” Your heart picked up pace. “I’ve dreamt about having you for so long, precious. Don’t deny me this. Not after everything I went through. Especially without you there for comfort.”

You were quiet, your lips parted in surprise, staring at him. His fingers flexed on your back after a few moments at your silence. His tone was firm when he told you, “You’re getting in that Uber with me. You understand me?”

An Uber? He was going to make you leave here?

“We can’t just leave. My mum—”

“Yeah, your mom is passed out. Or should be soon.”

“What? I--”

“She likes her daiquiris way too much and opioids.” Tony snorted and added with a laugh, “Giving you shit for having sex and she can’t even stay sober.” He got closer  again and said, “And your husband is way too high, he’s gonna pass out soon. I’m sure we can make a story up between now and whenever his ass wakes up. I have a lot of time to make up for, so the longer you stand in front of me like a fish gaping at me, the more time you wasted. I’m already ordering the ride as soon as I can take my hands off you.” He squeezed his hand once more on your ass before telling you, “What you craved in us you won’t find in him. If you did, you wouldn’t still be standing here.”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @buttercandy16 @esistmon @flawra16

[littleoddwriter]

Person A does Person B’s hair and/or Make-Up. for zsaszmask?

I'll Guide You | Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz | ZsaszMask

Hey! Since you didn't apply exact roles to them, I just chose them myself, hope that's fine! I really hope you enjoy this story, anon, thanks so much for the request! :)

summary; Victor has to do Roman's hair and Make-up for him.

notes; Domestic; Kissing; probably bad descriptions of applying Make-up; Roman has a sprained wrist and finger; Mentions of Murder, Sex and Substance Abuse.

Roman has sprained his right wrist and index finger, during one of his rage episodes the day before. Now, he wore a wrist support and his finger was taped to his middle one, which of course meant he couldn’t really use his hand anymore for a little while. That also meant that he wasn’t able to wash and do his own hair, or make-up, which was worst of all. He relied on looking absolutely perfect at all times. It was horrific.

That was what has gotten him into the odd situation he was in, now.

Just like always, he sat on the little stool in front of his vanity and its three mirrors. More unusual was that Zsasz stood behind him and ran his fingers through Roman’s not completely dry hair, though.

In fact, Victor had just washed Roman’s hair. It had been surprisingly soothing. Zsasz’s hands were a little like magic. Roman had been aware of that before, but it had always been in the context of murder and sex, never anything domestic like this.

“So, what do you need me to do, boss?” Victor asked eventually, stopping Roman’s train of thought.

“I need you to put a pea sized amount of hair gel on your hands, spread it around and style my hair with it. You know how I like it, so- Go on, then,” Roman instructed his partner, holding up the hair gel in question with his left hand, waving it around a little.

“Got it,” Victor murmured and did as he was told. Good boy.

When Zsasz was doing his hair, applying the gel to it and using his fingers and Roman’s comb to style it, Sionis felt such a sense of calm wash over him. He closed his eyes and hummed appreciatively, a low moan leaving his slightly parted lips. He truly felt at ease in that moment, which was such a strange thing for him, since he only felt like that at the rarest times (usually due to substance abuse, murder and sex in that exact order).

“Good job, Mr. Zsasz,” he praised, a small smile stretching his lips, when Victor was done with his hair and he opened his eyes to assess his work. It looked just like when he did it himself, perhaps even better, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

Victor just beamed at him, as their eyes met in the mirror.

“You may do my make-up now,” Roman continued; and Zsasz’s smile fell as soon as he’s said it. It was rather hilarious to him, a smirk gracing his features.

“Are you sure you want me to do that, Roman?” Zsasz looked incredulously at him.

“Tell me, Victor, have I ever not been serious or sure about a clear order?” Roman’s voice showed a playfully threatening inflection.

Immediately, Victor back-tracked a little, “Of course not, boss. It’s just- I don’t know shit about make-up.”

“I know. I’ll guide you. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah, ‘kay.”

Roman turned a little on the stool, facing to the right, so that Zsasz could stand in front of him to reach his face and the supplies on the vanity more easily.

“First you’ll go and wash your hands – because ew, Victor – and then you’ll use this moisturiser,” he pointed at a little tub on the vanity table, “and apply it on my face, ‘kay?”

“Uh- sure, yeah.”

Zsasz quickly went to clean his hands and then took the little tub from the table, as soon as he’s come back, applying the cream on Roman’s face, working it in gently and thoroughly. And fuck, it felt so good to have his hands on his face, the calluses from his knife work rough and textured against his soft skin; it was perfect.

“Good, now here is the foundation, don’t use too much- and then some powder – here, this one. And you use this beauty blender for it. Not your fingers.” Sionis instructed, pointing to each extremely expensive item on his vanity table. Zsasz nodded along and got to work immediately.

When all that was done, Roman actually felt like wearing some eye-shadow that day, but he wasn’t entirely cruel, so he told Victor to get his black eyeliner pen and apply that instead. Zsasz swallowed thickly, knowing how easy it was to mess that up.

“I trust you to do good work, Victor. You’ve got a steady hand. I doubt you’ll mess it up. It’s not as though I want you to create the perfectly winged liners either – Just frame my eyes and we’re good. ‘Kay?”

“Sure, whatever you want, boss.”

Roman smiled, lowering his eyes so that they were almost closed, letting Zsasz apply the black eyeliner steadily. It was a surprisingly pleasant sensation. It tickled a little, it always did, but Victor’s strokes were light and soft, and so steady and careful, Roman couldn’t wait to see the result. He knew his lap dog would be good at it.

“I think I’m done?” Zsasz said and removed his hands from Roman’s face – the sudden loss of his warmth almost had him shiver.

Sionis turned back around to inspect Victor’s work in the mirrors. As soon as he looked at himself, his breath stuttered a little, a big smile stretching his lips. He was- impressed. Now he really had to admit to himself that perhaps Victor actually was better at this than he was. Or it only seemed like it because he didn’t have to do it himself. Roman couldn’t tell, but he didn’t dwell on it either. It was no use to bruise his ego.

“You did a very good job, Victor. I’m imp- pleased.” He’d die before he actually said it out loud that he was anything more than pleased with this in particular.

“Thanks, boss. Was that it then?”

Roman got up from the stool, finally towering over Victor again – it always felt weird to him when he wasn’t.

“Actually, I’m missing some lip gloss,” he added, smiling mischievously.

Zsasz looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes, knowing very well that this at least Roman could do with his left hand, too.

“You heard me, baby. Here, this one, I’m craving this red colour especially, now.” He picked up the deep scarlet lip gloss from his table and pressed it into Victor’s hand, tilting his head coyly, although his expression was anything but.

Without another comment or strange look, Zsasz opened it, retrieved the applicator from the small bottle and started applying it on Roman’s lips. It felt as though electricity was passing through them with that action. Victor put it back in the vial and set it aside on the table, while Roman was busy rubbing his lips against each other, smacking them to make sure the gloss was distributed evenly. He assessed the result in the mirror again for a second and smiled, turning back to Victor.

“Now, we’re done.” Then he leaned down a little and pressed a tender, smacking kiss to Victor’s cheek and then his lips, effectively leaving red-coloured pursed lip marks on either of them.

A light pink tinge spread high on Zsasz’s cheeks.

“Thank you, baby,” Roman rasped into Victor’s ear, grazing his teeth against his ear lobe shortly after.

Then he strutted past Victor, leaving him standing there with a slack mouth and a throbbing desire coursing through his body.

Roman thought he’d enjoy his incapability to do things on his own for the time being, that was absolutely certain.

[hellas-himself]

More Than Enough

Remember that self indulgent crack ship holiday fic I was writing about Cassian and Feyre? And how I couldn’t seem to mix the past with the present? 

It’s a fic now. Still in the same AU just like... the year before. Leading up to the cheesy ass nonsense it is now. Originally it was going to be angsty at first but I think we have enough of that in our real life. If you haven’t read the crackship holidays featuring these two dumbasses, start here or on AO3.

Also. I promise all my other fics are not being abandoned. 

I’ve had a playlist to listen to when writing them but it is so incredibly inappropriate if you understand spanish. and i haven’t made it onto spotify yet. But this song reminded me of them and that’s where the title comes from. Which is funny because Alina is who i put beside Toni Mafud as Rhys and Feyre whenever fan casts come up. ANYWAY. 

Let’s follow Feyre as she thirsts after her best friend. 

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.

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I blame it on the music.

Cassian lost his shirt about half an hour ago and is doing pull ups. The garage door is open, letting in the cold winter air. My fingers are cold but I don’t like wearing gloves when sketching. I had been working on hands and eyes but once he tossed his shirt… It’s not like I’ve never seen Cassian without a shirt on before. Between him and his brothers, they seem to always find an excuse to not wear one. But the difference is I don’t find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to run my fingers down their backs.

It’s definitely the music.

Even if I didn’t understand the words, the beat itself is way too sensual to not be about anything else but sex. But the lyrics and Cassian’s sweaty, half naked body mixed with the fact that I haven’t had sex in months is probably the worst mix. I am not supposed to be imagining sleeping with my best friend.

I clear my throat, startling Valo who was falling asleep at my feet.

“Sorry, baby, I need a drink.”

I set my sketch book and pencil down on the crate beside my chair.

“Would you get me a drink, bunny?” Cas breathes out and my face flushes all the more. I didn’t need another detail to this stupid daydream.

“Yeah,” I squeak and head into the house. I already know his post workout drink recipe by heart. I drink ice cold water while the blender is going.

Cassian is suspended in the air, holding his entire body parallel to the floor with his hands. Goddamn him. He drops his head back so that he’s looking at me upside down and he smiles.

“I love you,” he says and I roll my eyes.

“I’ll love you more if you don’t bust your ass.”

He chuckles and just to drive the nail in the coffin that is my desire to be the reason he’s making noises like that, he slowly lowers his body and resumes his pull ups. I set his cup on the table where he has his tools and go back to sit down.

Cassian drops down and walks over to his mat to do his cool down stretches. A new song comes on and the words are so filthy that I find myself staring at him. His tattoos. My ex-boyfriend had always believed I was into Cassian- and I wasn’t. But I wasn’t blind and I’ve been at his house almost every single day since Thanksgiving- he is always without a shirt.

It’s just the music.

“Plan on drawing me?” Cassian asks and I blink. I look away from his tattooed chest and to his face. He is smirking. Shit.

“Uh. Yeah. What better way to do anatomy studies than with a living reference?”

“Anatomy, huh?”

He flashes me a grin before he walks over to the table for his drink.

“Hey, what do you want for dinner?”

His question distracts me from looking at his ass.

“Uh, whatever you want… I’m not really craving anything.” Except you. I sigh and cover my face with my hands and lean over. I need a cold shower.

“Hey… You alright?” he asks softly.

I nod and slowly sit upright.

“I’m just… I’m fine. I promise.”

He doesn’t believe me but he walks over to grab his speaker.

“I love this song,” he says and starts to sing along to it as he gratefully goes back into the house.  

Cassian meets me in the living room now dressed in a white tee and grey sweatpants. He lifts both my legs up so that he can sit down. This is normal. I always use his lap to rest my legs.

“I ordered Greek, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I told you, I’m not craving anything except-”

Fuck my entire life. Cassian raises a brow and I toss him the remote.

“Why don’t we finish your show so then we can watch my movie?”

This pacifies him and thankfully, his stupid show is so violent and bloody that all thoughts of fucking my best friend fade from my mind.

*

Our annual Christmas party is tonight and I’ve found an outfit. It is the kind of outfit Tamlin would have told me not to wear. It’s blood red and insanely inappropriate for winter with its spaghetti straps and super low neckline. Mor says it’s the perfect thing to wear after a break up and just the thought of all the pictures we’ll take with me and Cassian together makes me believe it.

I hang the dress up in the closet of Cassian’s bedroom. The heels are set beside his dress shoes and I can’t help but think about his reaction. Of dancing with him all night and coming back here and-

“Bunny!” 

“I’m in the closet!”

I hear him chuckle. 

“Shut up,” I call out and walk into the bedroom to find him pulling off his shirt. I feel my face go hot.

“I’m going to shower… do you want me to use the other bathroom?” 

“What? No, this is your house,” I say far more casually than I feel. “Besides, we’ve got time, we can share.” 

I want to punch myself in the face. Cassian starts to grin. 

“The shower might be a little too small for the both of us but I’m sure we could find a way to-”

Cassian laughs when I smack his arm. 

“Not exactly where I like being spanked but I’ll take it.”

“Oh my god, Cassian.”

He laughs and disappears into the bathroom. I force myself to leave the room when I hear the water.  

*

Cassian walks into the kitchen in nothing but a towel, his hair wet, water dripping down his chest. He walks over and takes the sandwich from my hands.

“Fuck, we’re out of beer,” he mutters as he opens the fridge. I grab the second sandwich I made, expecting him to steal from my plate and force my gaze up. On his stupidly gorgeous face.

“I can go get some,” I say but he shakes his head and walks over to take my cup of iced tea.

“Are you cool with us taking a cab tonight?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.” 

Cassian drinks from my cup and sets it down before pinching my cheek. 

“It’ll just be you and me,” he says softly. “So don’t worry about it.”

I blush at this and Cassian kisses my forehead. 

“I’m gonna go get dressed. Thanks for the snack,” he says with a wink and walks away.

*

I keep my makeup rather muted; lip gloss and the usual winged liner. Nude eyeshadow. Cassian picked out the highlight and I have to admit, he chose well. My hair isn’t going to get any better, so I leave it in loose waves rather than the curls I’d wanted. I’ll leave that to Mor. I feel nervous, this is the first time since the breakup that I’m going out with all of our friends but Cassian will be there, and that’s enough to ease my nerves. Almost.  

“Our ride is here,” Cas says as he walks into his bedroom. He stops and just stares. I approach him and hold out my ID card and debit card, needing to ignore the way his attention has me feeling.

“I don’t have pockets.”

“What?” He blinks and looks down at my hand. He laughs and pulls his wallet out. “You only need your ID.”

“Maybe so,” I say and reach out to smooth down the collar of his shirt while he puts my cards away. I remember my lip gloss and put it in his back pocket, giving him a wink.

Cassian holds my hand when we go outside, helping me down the steps and the driveway. It’s a regular occurrence, but I blush when he opens the door for me. And when he slides an arm around my shoulders when he sits down beside me. We take a bunch of pictures and call Cassian’s parents to check on Val- as if we hadn’t seen him an hour ago. 

When we get to the club, Cassian holds my hand as we walk inside. Cassian and the boys are all friends with the owner, so we get to skip the line.

“Where are we going?” I ask as Cassian leads us up to the VIP lounge.

“Meeting up with Rhys.”

“What’s he doing up here?”

Cassian chuckles. “You know Rhys never passes a chance to be extra as fuck.”

I can’t argue with that.

Upstairs, Cassian helps me out of my coat. His fingers brush my skin and my mind takes a swan dive into the gutter.

“What do you say to a few drinks before we go downstairs?” he asks as he takes my hand. The bouncer outside the lounge acknowledges us with a nod.

“Yeah, I could use it.”

Cassian flashes me a grin and then opens the door.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone shouts and I find all of our friends standing under a Happy Birthday banner.

I am at a loss for words and Cassian laughs, bringing me further into the room. I’d completely forgotten about my birthday, I hadn’t cared enough to even think that anyone else would. But Elain is here with Az. So is Rhys and Lucien, Amren, Varian. Viv and Kallias, too. I’m separated from Cassian as I’m hugged and kissed by everyone. I realize Tarquin and Cresseida are here as well. Rhys is the one who breaks open the first bottle and we all stand around the little table to take shots.

“There is a cake,” Elain says as she hands me another shot. “But that’s later.”

“Later?”

She winks at me and shouts for Azriel.

“That’s my favorite song!” she exclaims and her husband happily ditches his brothers to go out and dance with his wife.

Lucien and Rhys pull me in for another hug as the others begin to trail down to the dance floor.

“You look good enough to eat,” Lucien mumbles and I laugh.

“Don’t tell me you’re already drunk, Luce.”

“We may have pregamed at the house,” Rhys admits. “But we took an uber! It’s okay.”

I roll my eyes.

“You both suck. I’m going to go find me two other cute boys to dance with. Boys who would have invited me to pregame with them and no amount of flirting is going to fix that.”

They begin to whine and I laugh, holding onto Rhysand’s forearms as they keep me caged between them.

“Alright! You win!” I say with a laugh and look over to find Cassian looking my way. He smiles.

I want to ask him to dance but Mor pulls him away before I can open my mouth.

We drink and dance and drink and dance and drink some more. I feel light headed and everything makes me laugh. But I haven’t danced with Cassian yet and that’s enough to dampen the mood. I push my way through the crowd until I find Cassian at the bar. I take the empty barstool beside him and sit down. I order myself a margarita before turning to face him.

“And where have you been all night?” I ask and Cassian smirks.

“Enjoying the night,” he says and takes a sip of his drink.

“Without me?”

I don’t understand the look in his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink. He sets the glass down and leans forward. I didn’t really understand just how short this dress was until he lays his hand on my thigh. If I turn my chair completely, if he moves his hand just an inch more…

“Yes,” he says and kisses me cheek. “But I think I’m about to enjoy it more now.”

“Why?” I manage to say. Cassian’s hand brushes my thigh as he sits upright.

“I’m about to go dance with my best friend.”

“Are you now?”

My drink is set before me and I grab it, chugging it down as Cassian slides off his chair. He turns mine so that I’m facing him completely and puts his hands on my hips.

“If she says yes, of course.”

I finish the last of my drink and set down the glass.

“When have I ever said no to you?”

Cassian grins.

I have danced with Cassian many times. At parties, at the beach, at clubs and bars and festivals. At his parents’ house. I should be used to the feeling of his body against mine, of his hands on me while we dance but not like this. I want nothing more than to take him back up to the lounge and push him down on the sofa or go find an empty bathroom stall.

But I don’t.

Birthday cake and alcohol isn’t the best mix, but I haven’t felt this alive in months. My face hurts from laughing, from smiling. My vision is spotty from all the pictures we’ve taken but I don’t care. Everything is right in the world.

“My feet hurt,” I complain and sit on Cassian’s lap.

“Want me to rub your feet?”

I shake my head and lean into him.

“No. Not until I’m showered.”

He laughs. “Okay.”

I sigh when he wraps his arms around me. He is so warm and smells so good, I want to stay this way forever.

“I think the birthday girl is done for the night,” Rhys says teasingly and I realize I was dozing off. I look up to see Rhys standing there with a stupid smirk on his face.

“Fuck you,” I say and curl up in Cassian’s arms. I feel his hand holding my dress down from showing everyone else my ass.

“Tempting,” Rhys says and then shoves his hands in his pockets. “But I think I’ll pass.”

I don’t think much of the look Rhys gives Cassian in favor of playing with his hair. I take way too much satisfaction in the knowledge that not everyone gets to do this, and that he enjoys it. Cassian seems to win whatever silent staring contest he and Rhys were having and Rhys rolls his eyes and goes after his boyfriend.

“You’re making me sleepy, bunny.”

“Good thing we’re going home together then,” I say before my mind catches up. But Cassian only chuckles and hugs me a little closer.

*

Cassian and I are a laughing mess as we stumble into the house. I lean on him to step out of my heels and he laughs as I shrug off my coat and toss it at him. We’re both trying to catch our breath, and I swat his hand away when he tries to tickle me again.

“I’m taking a shower,” I breathe out and walk off but he stops me.

“Wait,” he says and I turn to find him smiling.

“What?”

“Happy birthday,” he says softly and pulls me in for a hug. “I promise I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

“Hm… you really know the way to a girl’s heart, Cas.”

He pinches my side and I yelp.

“Go shower,” he says and kisses the top of my head.

“I won’t be long.”

My shower is clumsy and not at all relaxing. My feet hurt. So I put lotion on my body and grab the bottle of perfume that is on the dresser, except it’s not perfume but cologne. I shrug and put on Cassian’s Nirvana tee shirt and double check I actually have underwear on before I go looking for him.

“Cas?” The house is dark save for the light coming from his room. “My feet fucking hurt.”

He says something but I don’t understand it. His room is open and I step inside, finding him lying on his bed. He’s got basketball shorts on and his hair is loose.

“Bunny!” he says as if he hadn’t seen me all day. “I almost busted my ass in the shower.”

“Me, too.” I say with a laugh. “Maybe we should’ve showered together. It would’ve been safer that way.”

“I like the way you think, Archeron.”

He holds his hand out to me and when I’m close enough, he pulls me into bed with him. “You smell good.”

I snort. “I smell like you.”

“Exactly.”

I swat his arm but he ignores it, putting his arms around me.

“My feet hurt,” I complain, hoping he’ll make good on his promise.

“Just stay here,” he says simply.

My heart stops and starts too fast.

“Like… sleep here?” I ask too quietly.

“Mhm.” He goes quiet for a moment and then groans. “I forgot to turn the light off.”

“I can do it,” I say.

“No… Stay here.”

He goes quiet once more, and I let myself relax. We haven’t shared a bed since we were kids, playing video games until Adela would force us to go to bed. I smile at the thought and rest my head against his chest.

“Goodnight, Cas,” I say quietly, my eyes getting heavy.

“Goodnight, bunny,” he says and lets me go to stretch. Then he wraps his arms around me again and moves us so that we’re on our sides. He presses a kiss to my forehead and I close my eyes, letting the warmth of him lull me to sleep.

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@mythicaitt @bookloveaffair @nalgenewhore @candid-confetti 

[fairydust-stuff]

Wendy Darling Embodiment of Motherhood

Here’s the thing ,I have never been a big fan of Wendy Darling from JM Barrie’s classic novel Peter Pan. Not only is she a cocktail of every bad stereotype about Victorian women casually thrown into a blender to make the ultimate Grimm’s fairy tale heroines are more bad ass then you smoothie. But Wendy is just straight up the most boring character in Peter Pan. That being said she does play a very important role in Peter Pan. Also it’s gotten the point where I’m a bit tired of seeing this idea that the Never land ladies have nothing to offer. If we don’t change everything about them or let’s just leave them out entirely trend via Hollywood. Seriously when is the last time Tink got more than a cameo and I’m not talking about the sugary princess clone Disney created from her mutilated body. Anyway I want to take a look Wendy Darling how she works, how she doesn’t work what she embodies and how she’s been portrayed in various adaptations.

First let’s take a look at some themes. Peter pan is at its core a coming of age story about accepting the inevitability of growing up. However Wendy as a point of view character is kind of an odd choice for this theme. In the original novel Wendy brings a flower to her mother who declares “Why can’t you stay like this” Then the narrator proceeds to talk about how Wendy knew she must grow up. So we already have a character who accepts the fact she must grow up on page one. In fact Wendy doesn’t run away to Never land as much as take a holiday, and to be fair John and Michel suffer from the same problem. Honestly I think the closest thing we get to a character arch in the novel is George Darling who is a seriously underrated character in my opinion. So Wendy just never struggles with growing up. However another theme of Peter Pan is motherhood and oh boy does Wendy fit into that.

“She used to come to me in my and I’d say pretty mother, now she has come and I’ve shot her” Tootles laments after thinking he shot and killed Wendy. Even Hook want to take Wendy to be the mothers of himself and his crew in typical pirate fashion coveting what Peter Pan and the lost boys have Wendy becomes a treasure for them to steal. Smee when carrying Wendy even promises “I’ll save you if you promise to only be my Mother” Every boy and man child in Never land craves a mother and want Wendy to fill the position. Wendy taking on the role turns her into a kind of ideal in the eyes of everyone in Never land even her own brothers get in on the treating her as the perfect mom.

In fact Wendy only gets to be a little girl in the narrative when Hook offers his hand to her and she takes it and only because the narrative felt the need to defend her submission to her own capture. But looking back that may very well be the point when you look at Wendy and Peter’s relationship without the shipping googles it’s actually quite interesting. You’ve got two pre teen’s on two different wave lengths. Wendy states in the novel “Peter what are true feelings towards me?” and is displeased with Peter’s answer “That of a devoted son” this seems up their relationship perfectly. Wendy uses the role of mother to try to basically become Peter’s wife something which he is deeply uncomfortable with needing constant reassurance that playing an adult couple is “ Only make believe” now whether or not Peter is flat out not interested or scared of his own feelings is up for debate. I personally lean toward the former because Peter is constantly surrounded by busty topless mermaids who like to flirt with him. So if he hasn’t had his sexual awakening yet it’s not happening ever, but the point is Peter uses the reaffirmation of Wendy as Mother to keep her at a distance. When Wendy returns home Miss Darlings offers to adopt Peter which he refuses. This highlights the fact when given the chance to have an actual mother he doesn’t want one.

Wendy is a reflection of Peter’s warped relationship with motherhood. He confesses to Wendy that he did at one point did return to his mother only to find the window barred and “There was another little boy sleeping in my bed!”  It could be argued Peter’s desire to stay a little boy forever actually steam from the fear of abandonment and being replaced. This shapes Peter’s relationship with Wendy in sense he wants a mother he can actually control. One who never makes him feels too grown up or who challenges him or his choices in a meaningful way. This shows that motherhood is important and that without a proper mom boys will never truly grow into men.

Wendy plays a similar role to the lost boys only she actually ends up helping them. While the lost boys clearly already have mommy craving’s Wendy gives them a taste of what having a mom is actually like or at least what an ideal mom from a Victorian upper middle class family structure would be like. So when Wendy wants to go home the lost boys who getting a taste of what their missing decides to go with her. Where they get adopted into the Darling Family and grow into respectable members of society who all get boring office jobs in the prolog which completely contrast their colorful energetic personalities, moving on. Wendy acts as kind of encouraging benevolent guide for the lost boys and Peter her inevitable goal being to encourage to move beyond the superficial trappings of childhood and take a step forward into adulthood. Peter is the failure, deficient as the novel itself states but the lost boys are a triumph of the power of proper maternal nurturing.

Wendy Darling has appeared in various adaptations and Spin offs though I’m mostly going to focus on Movies and TV because most of the Peter Pan book retellings where Wendy plays a key role just do not fill me with any positive feelings. And I want to mostly focus on the good today with some casual snark thrown in.

So let’s start with Wendy from the 2003 Peter Pan Live Action adaptation. I love this version it makes changes from the novel while still paying homage by using actual lines from the book. Though I have very mixed feelings about 2003 Wendy.

The movie heavily leans into the annoying I’m not like other girls trope. Here Victorian lady Wendy turns fairy tales into gore fests, and has an interest in sword play and pirates. I’m not saying girls from that era can’t have those interests but it just feels like their Wendy is the product of listening to too many focus groups not to mention she learns to be an expert sword fighter who can go toe to toe with adults after five seconds with Peter. And what is with the sudden unexplained blood thirst? Where did that come from?

Though I do like how the film unlike the novel actually gave Wendy an arch. Wendy’s aunt is mortified at her niece’s interest in becoming a novelist who travels the world.  She insists Wendy’s parents separate Wendy from her brothers and allow her to tutor, Wendy to teach her how to be a proper lady.   They also have a school teacher shame Wendy for drawing a picture of Peter flying above her bed. This seems to be subtext for the Victorian shaming of sexual expression from girls as dirty and shameful. This actually makes Wendy feel like her life is changing way too fast and it scares her. Since she is twelve and her family is already talking about marriage prospects.  While the scene where Peter and her meet is pretty much played like in the novel. There’s the added moment of Peter whispering in Wendy’s ear “ Forget them Wendy Forget them all come with me and we’ll never ever have to think about grown up things again” which unlike the novel frames Wendy as running away from growing up.

Then she develops a crush on Peter Pan and this being Hollywood they go with the scared of his own feeling interpretation. I guess her whining and screaming his name for a day was just too sexy to resist.  Wendy contemplates joining Hook’s crew because when your crush rejects you validation by pirate man children is good salve for your wounds. But then realizes she can’t remember her mother and much like the novel becomes scared that her and her brothers have forgotten their parents. Then they all get kidnapped by the pirates and Hook and Peter have a show down which is way better than the novel because here Hook attacks Peter’s abandonment issues and actually brings him to his knees. But then Wendy kisses Peter and he gains the strength to defeat Hook. Basically the implication is Wendy realizes growing up is ok because romantic love is a thing. Hey, I didn’t say it was a great arch but it’s more than the novel gave her or anyone.  I’m not a huge fan of this Wendy depiction but I’ve got to take my hat off to the writers for at least giving Wendy a coming of age narrative.

Disney’s classic Peter Pan pulled a similar move taking the focus from Peter and putting it entirely on Wendy. The implications at the end imply that Wendy’s adventure was all a dream and that Tinker bell and Tiger Lilly were reflections of her own manifesting sexuality. Peter Pan her desire not to grow up and Hook I’m going to guess that he was her daddy issues.

I actually think Walt did Wendy a solid in her characterization. This is one of the few Wendy’s were her concern for her brothers and the lost boys don’t feel tacked on. Since most adaptations do very little to build Wendy’s dynamic with the other kids. Here it’s in every face wipe and tearful good bye and every “Do be careful” thrown over Wendy’s shoulder.

Also the Disney movie does a one eighty from everyone in Neverland worshiping her to Neverland treating her rather badly. It takes Wendy’s annoyance from called her squaw from the Novel and has the Indians bully her into fetching firewood instead of joining the celebrations. Also the mermaids not only try to drown her but Peter thinks is all a big joke. Disney’s Wendy constantly stands up for herself but often gets brushed off or forced to walk the plank. In this version you can one hundred percent understand why Wendy is so done with this place and ready to grow up. Here the reality of what it’s like to experience everyone acting like a self-centered child is here on full display.

Also Disney’s Wendy is not perfect she gets angry and loses her temper attacking mermaids or yelling at Indians. She gets jealous of Tiger Lilly being all over Peter and is sour towards him.  Wendy is dreamy eyed, and polite but this version of her also doesn’t take anyone’s crap and will let you know if you’ve crossed a line or if you’re flat out awful.   But she’s still pleads with Peter on her attempted murder’s behalf. Wendy also reminds Peter that Tiger Lilly is drowning when he gets caught up in celebrating his cleverness. She still makes sure she can say goodbye to her brothers and the lost boys before Hook kills her. Even on her worst day Disney’s Wendy is a kind person even when those around her are less so.

But my favorite portrayal of Wendy has got to be from the 90’s classic “Peter Pan and the Pirates” TV series which aired on Fox was about one season then got cancelled.  While it doesn’t really focus on Wendy a whole lot since its more concerned with the relationship between Peter Pan his lost boys and Hook’s crew. 

She still has a pretty important role.  Wendy often serves as a voice of reason to the group which doesn’t go against her original role in the novel since she takes a cake that’s been left out all night away from the lost boys. Which does present her as the one with the most common sense but the show lets Wendy tell Peter this is a bad idea way more often than the book and blow up at him after he does the stupid thing every one told him not to do. Also Wendy gets to be more of a moral center lecturing Peter for stealing the picture of Hook’s mother in the episode “Hooks mother” and encouraging him to return it and even getting Peter to take care of Hook after he’s injured. This is in a positive change in my opinion because it actually expands on Wendy’s role as a guide to adult hood. Here Wendy Darling encourages a kind of good behavior she helps build moral character in her boys. Wendy has strong ideals and this adaptation actually has her stand by her principals for better or worse. This not only gives her more of a central role in the story but also gives her more chances to be active. Yay character agency!

Also this version of Wendy was the first to have a bit of an interesting relationship with Hook. (Who is voiced by Tim curry and does an excellent job.)  While the writers got rid of the almost pedophilic undertones of Hook wanting to keep Wendy from the novel and the “My beauty” pet name.  Thank god for that even in the novel i thought it was too much.     There’s still a bit of a dynamic even if its way more innocent.

In the episode  In Peter on Trial Wendy not only lands on the ship unharmed but reminds Hook executing Peter without a trial would not be proper form at all. She then hits Hook in the ego by declaring “Surely you don’t doubt your powers of debate against that of a mere girl” And not only gets a trial but manages to win even when the trial is rigged against them. Hook even congratulates her before proceeding to find his own loophole and kill Peter Pan anyway. The point is this suggests this Wendy has a bit of an insight into Hook maybe more so then Peter. She knows he’s obsessed with good form and has an ego that prides its self on being the smartest person in the room.

This cuts both ways while Wendy is capable of manipulating Hook, he also consistently manipulates Wendy by offering his word as a gentlemen when he intends to break it as a pirate. This dynamic highlights Wendy’s flaw of trusting dangerous people and allowing them to hurt her friends. Hook has picked up that she trusts or wants to trust him. In this version Hook actually treats Wendy as opponent vs the usual she belongs to Peter and I want to steal her like in most adaptations. Also despite Hook being terrifying Wendy has no problem being all “There’s no need to get cranky Captain” and I kind of love how comfortable she is with the guy despite him being an enemy.

This proves Wendy doesn’t have to be a sword wielding “Who are you to call me girlie” action girl to be a good character. She can be flawed but still remain a good person and giving her a spine is always appreciated.

Wendy Darling is at her core a guide into adulthood with a strong moral character and a voice of reason who is used to shine a light on how important motherhood is since the result of mothers abandoning or neglecting their children shape the Peter’s of the world.  This makes her important to the overall story and themes of Peter Pan.

[justkeeptrekkin]

erasermic one of them trying (and maybe failing) to create a lava cake so they can have a special lava-cake-date. this can be in canon or chef au.

Anon i had to google what a lava cake is and YUM. I think that’s what we call a chocolate fondant in the UK!!! Anddddd you’ve made me crave one now. So thanks lmao.

I’ve based this on my chef au, because i miss those silly chef boys. Link to the whole fic here!

These walls have seen many culinary failures. Even more culinary successes. They’ve seen the birth of liquorice delights and miso disasters. They’ve almost been burned down by triple-cooked-chips gone wrong, and they’ve had smoothie contents spattered all over them. Over a decade of working in the food industry, and Mic still forgets to put the lid on the blender.

Shouta’s warehouse converted apartment, with its big windows and exposed brick and concrete floors, is no longer Shouta’s- it’s theirs. And for that reason, it’s seen twice as many meals gone wrong.

“Shou. Babe. I swear to god, I swear to fucking god, please do not take it out of the oven. Do not take them out yet.”

“I don’t see why not. It said eight to ten minutes in the recipe.”

“And it’s been seven.”

“And by the time we finish this pointless conversation, it will have been eight, and they’ll be perfect.”

“Ok, sure, they would be, except for the fact that your oven is the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to cry.”

“Our oven. And calm down, they’ll be fine.”

Shouta bends down to peer through the oven window. The fondants have risen a little, not too much, just right. And beside his face, Hizashi taps his foot anxiously, knee bouncing.

“You’re making me nervous,” Shouta says dryly. It’s a lie. It’s fun to tease, though.

“I- well, I sure fuckin’ hope so, my entire life is covered in cocao powder right now and I’m super craving chocolate lava cake, so if they suck and I can’t just, eat all of them one go, I’m blaming you and I’m leaving you forever.”

Shouta peers up at Hizashi with an even expression. He doesn’t think he’s smiling, but it’s not always easy to control that impulse around Hizashi. He looks down at Shouta, brows pinched and pouting, huge puppy dog eyes.

“I’m being serious!” Hizashi folds his arms across his t-shirt- which is, in fact, covered in chocolate mixture- and turns his back to him. “I’ll pack my bags and take my skills elsewhere.”

“And what about our restaurant.”

“You’ll have to find another superstar chef. You’ll have to watch my TV show just to see my face again. And I’ll acquire a really hot assistant so you can sit there and burn with jealousy.”

“Speaking of burning.”

Hizashi’s shoulders rise up to his ears and his spins round, aghast. Dropping to the floor, he nudges Shouta aside slightly so he can look through the window.

Shouta snorts.

“Yo, what the hell, you’re such a liar! They’re fine!”

“My oven’s not that bad. They’re not going to burn in eight minutes, you’re totally gullible.”

“And you’re an ass.”

Shouta laughs properly this time. And Hizashi abruptly smiles back. He likes to play up the flustered, stressed out persona when Shouta teases. It makes it more fun for both of them.

They both look back inside the oven.

Hizashi sighs.

“Fine. Let’s take them out. And if they’re ruined and they collapse and they don’t cook properly I’ll cry.”

“I know.”

Shouta takes the oven gloves and opens the oven door. The smell of chocolate is suddenly overwhelming, and the heat hits his face making his skin tingle. Hizashi’s glasses fog up, as they always do, and there’s nothing Shouta can say to persuade him to switch to contacts. Shouta places the tray on the counter, and for a moment, they both just stare at it. Eight perfect little puddings, a luxurious brown with an ever-so-slight dip in the centre. Steam rolls off of them, and Shouta breathes in the warm scent of cocoa.

“We need to wait for them to cool.” Hizashi says this like he’s in physical pain.

“Yeah.”

They look at each other. And then, Shouta takes a serving board and places it on the tray, tipping it upside down so that the puddings slide out.

Hizashi watches, hands in front of his face in apprehension. “It’s almost too much tension to bear!” he exclaims.

“They’re puddings,” Shouta replies calmly, though he can feel a sense of anticipation settling on his chest. “It’s not a competition.”

But they both know that’s not the case. Because even though this is technically a date- one of the rare occasions they get to escape the restaurant- and even though this is supposed to be a sleepy Saturday afternoon spent in each other’s company, this is a competition. This is a test- who has it right? Is it Shouta, who thinks they should have come out between eight and ten minutes? Or Hizashi, who holds a distrust for their oven?

There’s only one way to find out.

Slowly. Ever so slowly, enough that Shouta thinks that time itself has slowed down, he lifts the baking tray. He holds his breath. Feels a bead of sweat falling down his temple. Hizashi bites his fist, his other hand clinging onto his arm.

And the winner is…

The first pudding collapses in a thick puddle of chocolate.

Shouta growls to himself.

“YES! YES, in your FACE!”

Hizashi is slapping him on the arm excitedly and whooping, punching the air and doing a victory dance that makes Shouta smile to himself as he hangs his head in defeat.

He loves this idiot.

“Oh man, victory tastes so sweet, dude, I- people are going to remember this day.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s gonna be called, ‘Mic shoves an undercooked chocolate pudding directly in Chef Aizawa’s face’ day.”

“I thought you were meant to be sad that they didn’t work. Leaving me forever.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you.”

“I’d actually prefer it to this.”

Hizashi laughs brightly. Everything he does is bright, and Shouta absent-mindedly tucks a strand of hair behind Hizashi’s ear, before turning his attention back to the puddings.

The first one that came out was a failure. But on further inspection, it looks like four were successful. Their physical integrity seems to be fairly strong, compared to the other four, which have collapsed and caused a river of chocolate on the serving board.

“Still edible,” Shouta remarks.

“Well, I mean, dude. I’m eating it all regardless.”

Hizashi takes out two spoons, and Shouta takes a pinch of salt. He looks to Hizashi for permission, who nods eagerly, and he scatters over the top of the puddings. Nothing better than something sweet with a little bit of salt. Just to balance it all out. And Hizashi makes the most ridiculous noises as he ploughs through one pudding, then the second, whilst Shouta eats silently. They stand at the kitchen counter and polish off over half of it.

The Saturday afternoon light is dimming through the large apartment windows, and Shouta realises it’s probably almost time for dinner. He doesn’t think he can think about any more food for a while.

“Babe?”

“Mm.”

Hizashi holds his spoon in his mouth, brows furrowed in thought, and something else. Nervousness. Shouta waits, suddenly apprehensive. And then the look softens, as if Hizashi’s figured out how to articulate what he wants to say.

“What would you bake with kids?”

Shouta stalls. He blinks at him, trying to figure out where Hizashi’s considerably faster mind is going.

“Kids?”

“Yeah. You know, if you were baking cakes with a kid, what would you make?”

Shouta looks down at the serving board, troughs of chocolate made from their spoons and half-eaten puddings left to cool. He rubs the back of his neck. “I dunno. I guess something like this. It’s… messy, quick. Supposedly easy. Fun.”

He feels Hizashi’s eyes watching him expectantly, spoon back in his mouth like he’s trying to stop his mouth from saying anything else. Shouta rarely sees Hizashi self-conscious of his words, not around him. He doesn’t like it.

“‘Zashi?”

“No, just,” Hizashi shrugs, a huge heave of his shoulders, and waves the spoon about in his hand. “I was just thinking the same. You know. That this kind of thing would be nice to cook with kids.”

Hizashi’s eyes widen at what he’s said, and he stares resolutely at the serving board.

And something in Shouta’s chest explodes. From that point, there’s nothing that can stop Shouta from smiling. Light-headed with disbelief and love for the man silently panicking with a desert spoon stuck in his mouth once more.

“Hizashi,” he says quietly. His partner twitches, looks away. “Hizashi. Are you asking me if I want to have kids?”

Hizashi immediately turns to look at him again, and there’s a shine to his eyes. His lips form a wobbly smile. “I think I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m so sure. Like, one thousand percent sure. You’d be the best dad in the world.”

“I. Hizashi, you know I’ve always wanted this, but-”

“Shouta, I’m so ready for this.”

And he hears the sound of a spoon clattering to the floor before he throws his arms around Hizashi, picking him up and spinning him around in the kitchen. Hizashi yelps and squeals in surprise, but eventually wraps arms around his neck and laughs against his shoulder. He could twirl him round like this for hours. He feels rejuvenated. He feels his eyes sting with tears.

When he drops Hizashi back down, Hizashi takes his face in his hands.

“Shouta,” he says seriously.

“Yeah,” he breathes, his face hurting from grinning.

And then Hizashi laughs, looking down at the serving board of chocolate, then back at him. “Our kids are gonna be so unhealthy.”

“Chocolate’s a bean. Beans are healthy, it’s fine.”

The sound of their euphoric laughter fills the room. Shouta kisses him, and his lips taste like chocolate.

[catsandstrawberries]

Real Family: 7

Pairings: BTS x teen female reader, platonic love

Warnings: Language, neglect, descriptions of a panic attack and past child abuse  

A/N: What do you guys think about this too far? Is it moving too slow too fast? I really want to know what you guys think uwu. Also, the image below is the photoshoot, its supposed to be a rainbow.....

Summary: It’s not blood that makes a family. It’s love.

Masterlist 

Jungkook had brought me to the sixth floor, filled with bright lights, screens, cameras and multiple clothes hanging on racks. Multiple tables laid out in the room behind the camera, some were covered in makeup, other hairspray, hair dryers, and hairbrushes.

“Why did Bang ask me to get coffee if he doesn't even drink it?” Jungkook faltered slightly in his steps and I pretended not to notice. I knew why he had asked me or at least guessed that he wanted to talk about me to the boys without me knowing. Would Jungkook tell me the truth?

“He-e, um, just wanted to prep us on the photo shoot and he didn't want you to hear about the surprise.”

Then how come Jungkook told me about the ‘surprise’ so quickly? Instead of calling him out on his lie I just nodded along as he brought me over to the makeup station.

“(Y/N) ah, don't I look handsome?” Jin fluttered his eyes at me as his makeup stylist searched on the table for something. To be honest, Jin did look handsome. The sheen of foundation on his face made him look younger and the light contour on his cheeks and nose really brought out his features.

“(Y/N) you should be nice to Jin no one ever tells him he's handsome.” I smiled at Jimin's comment as he leaned his elbow on Jin's shoulder. Jin promptly slapped the boy on the arm, 

“do you want to die?” I chuckled at Jin's comment and the glare on his face, but as soon as the laugh escaped my throat all eyes soon turned to me. Tae all of a sudden appeared behind me and I suddenly became uncomfortable with all the eyes on me. 

“(Y/N) I've never heard you laugh before,” Jimin stated, eyes wide. “It's nice,” He added and for a moment I questioned if they were just saying that because personally, I believed my laugh sounded like a dying hyena. But, once I saw the complete genuine looks on their faces I couldn't help but smile. 

“Ok boys let's get you changed.” The boys suddenly scrambled away from me being dragged by makeup and hair stylists to add the final touches before the shoot. An arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I winced at the sudden touch. Whoever was touching me however didn't notice. “(Y/N) I want you to be in this shoot.”

My eyes widened at Bangs words, “seriously, why?” I wasn't nearly as pretty to be in a shoot with the boys, no matter how much makeup they put on my face. Why would they put my face out there, “don't worry it's nothing serious, we just want your hair.” I raised an eyebrow at the man, nervously pulling at my red locks, “my hair?”

How long did it really take to do someone's hair? Because sitting in the hard wooden chair that made my ass ache, it felt like I had been sitting for hours. My hair wasn't even that long, it just fell below shoulder length, and the most the hairdressers had done was put a bunch of hair product in my hair then proceed to curl it. I tried not to show my impatience and instead sat quietly while Hoseok made funny faces at me while they put the finishing touches on his hair. From what Bang had told me they wouldn't be showing my face, and instead would be giving the Army a sneak peek into who I was. Which apparently was my hair. The hairdresser, a female who hasn't talked to me the whole time firmly tied a bow into my hair and gave my shoulder a pat. 

“You're good to go.” At her words, I practically jumped out of my seat bounding towards the camera ready to be up and moving. I stretched my sore joints watching as the seven boys all posed together, hugging and smiling. Even the cold, heartless Yoongi had a smile on his face. Each of the boys had a different color of the rainbow, Taehyung was red, Jin orange, Jungkook yellow, Hoseok Green, Jimin blue, Yoongi Pink and Namjoon Purple. After the photo shoot, they would all scramble colors and I would be the start of the rainbow with my red hair. 

“Good job boys, get changed while I take pictures of the girl.” I ignored the sting of annoyance at the photographer once he called me, ‘the girl.’ It wasn't like I had a name or anything. I walked over to the photographer and after some simple instruction like, ‘stand here,’ and ‘tilt your head,’ I prayed he was a better photographer then Lifetouch. After a few clicks and a gasp, I turned to find Bang looking on a monitor, “those look great Erik!” My cheeks suddenly got red while Yoongi and Hoseok approached the monitor, “dongsaeng these are really good.” I didn't really know why they were praising me, all I had done was stand there if anything the hairdresser should get the recognition. My eyes drifted to Yoongi who simply shrugged while glaring at the monitor. I tore my eyes from the scene when the photographer called out for Jimin, his assistants replacing the white background with an orange paper. I quickly exited knowing I wasn't needed only to be pulled in by the waist by another body, 

“(Y/N) take a picture with me.” Tae pointed a phone in front of his face and did his signature V sign that I had seen so much around the office in his pictures. “Why are we taking a picture?” I averted my gaze from the camera to Tae’s fluffy pink hair and instead of answering me he shushed me and told me to just do it. Instead of arguing I pouted before turning back to the camera and smiling at the iPhone. Tae took a few pictures before lowering the screen and smiling at the images, “(Y/N) what's your Instagram, I'll tag you.” I stared at the device in his hands and back up to Taehyung, tilting my head in confusion. “Instagram? I actually don’t have a phone.” Tae whipped his head up at me but before he could say anything Erik was calling for him. “Um, hold that thought.” He raced off towards the production team while I dumbly stared at the empty space in front of me, I used to have an iPod but one of the younger girls got ahold of it and ‘accidently’ put it in the blender when Katie was making a smoothie. She got adopted the next day so I couldn't really hold a grudge against her. Once I saw the boys taking more pictures I decided we wouldn't be going anywhere soon and decided to sit at one of the couches in the corner of the room. In hindsight that may not have been the best idea since I didn't get any sleep last night, and the couch felt really comfy. Sooner than expected I was laying on the couch, thankful that it was in a section away from prying eyes and fell asleep.

~

    My skins boiling, heating up like my blood’s a boiled toxin and my body is the cauldron. Sweat is dripping down my body and I'm overwhelmed by my dark surroundings. A ringing in my ears starts to gradually grow to a burning, merging with a primal scream that overflows my senses. The sound is urgent, desperate, a scream that only a young child could make. A scream of terror, of absolute fear, a scream that spoke ‘help me’ in bold letters that nobody cared to read. It doesn't take long for me to realize that the scream is one of my own, from my past. Images are bouncing around my sight, the banging on my door, the crying 10-year-old who hides under her bed. The shattering glass and blood dripping down my arm. I fall to my knees, covering my ears as if it could stop the sound. But I know the sound will never truly leave. Its marked into my ears like a tattoo, reminding me of who I am, what I am, and what I did.

    My eyes suddenly open, and in front of me is a confused looking Jimin, head tilted to the side. I'm immediately scrambling back to the other side of the couch noticing how close he was. 

“Are you ok?” I want to scream at his question, the pounding of my heart against my ribcage and the way I'm gasping for breath should prove that I'm not ok. I'm not ok.

“I'm f-fine.” I stutter, my voice is hoarse and dry. I lick my lips and suddenly I've never craved water so much in my life. Jimin's eyes widen slightly and he's tilting his head as if asking the question with his body language. 

“Are you sure?”

No.

“Yes. I'm fine, sorry, I just had a weird dream.” I stuttered, shifting my gaze from Jimin to see everyone packing up, none of the other boys in sight, thank God. “What time is it?” I ask groggily, rubbing at my eyes just as the bright lights of the studio start to blind me. “It's a little past five, we were going to get some dinner soon. Are you hungry?” Jimin's voice all of a sudden is so soft as if he could tell what just happened as if he's seeing through my facade. 

I hate it. 

“Yeah, a little bit.” I look down at my lap then notice the blanket over me. “Namjoon Hyung brought it, you looked so cold and one of the producers had a spare. You can just leave it here someone will grab it.” I nodded then gently folded it, placing it on the couch then standing up and following Jimin towards the elevator. There's a slight sway in my step and Jimin seems to notice because suddenly an arm is around my waist stopping me from falling to the ground. “Hey, wow be careful. You just woke up maybe sit down for a moment.” I nod, half processing his words and slump in the corner of the large elevator, eyes glazing over as I begin to process the dream.

“(Y/N) we’re here.” Jimin motions towards the open doors of the elevator and I quickly stand up, walking with Jimin towards the back entrance. I don't really know where I'm going, considering this was my first time in the building and I had only entered from the front entrance. So I decided to stick close to Jimin, “will there be cameras outside?” I pouted at my own question, not feeling ready for the bright lights and loud screams. He patted my head gently, mumbling something about how he loved that I was shorter than him before clearing his throat. 

“No this leads towards the private parking lot where the boys are.” He opens the door, leading to an indoor parking space. The lights giving an ominous glow and the only thought that enters my mind is how someone always dies in indoor lots during horror movies. A black limousine pulls up and the chauffeur is exiting quickly, opening the door for the two of us and I slide in, muttering a thank you. Once in the car, I find Namjoon once again furiously typing on his phone, and a giddy Jungkook practically jumping in his seat. “(Y/N), we were going to get take out from Panda Express, is that ok?” I nod, ignoring Tae whos doing a little dance in his seat, mumbling Panda Express. He must really like their food. “What do you want to order?” All of a sudden, a sense of drowsiness overtakes me and food is the last thing on my mind right now. “Um, actually I'm not that hungry, I feel really tired.” Everyone turns to me in worry, except for Yoongi, of course, whos ignoring me like usual. Jin reaches over from his seat gently touching my forehead but as soon as his fingers are touching my skin I'm flinching back, causing an awkward sound of my head hitting the seat to break the silence.

“(Y/N), we aren't going to..” Hoseok pauses as if looking for the right words and reality suddenly hits me (No pun intended.) I've been so obvious with the boys, letting them see right thru me, maybe I thought if they saw the real me they'd bring me back. Everyone eventually does. “You're safe with us, we aren't going to hit you.” I whimper at his words, and suddenly hate how I'm squished between Namjoon and Jimin, and how all of the attention was on me. I bite my lip so hard to keep tears from overflowing that the metallic taste of blood soon fills my mouth. I pray that the physical pain will somehow even out the emotional. Jungkook clears his throat, and I turn towards him. Both of his hands are behind his back and his giddy smile has morphed into a sad smile. “This probably isn't the best time, but we got you something.” He reveals a box from behind his back, with the words Apple iPhone XR on the side, and a red bow taped to the top. “You said you didn't have a phone so I thought we should get you one. You'll need it to communicate with us anyways.” I looked back in forth between the Tae and Jungkook, and suddenly tears are welling up in eyes from pure happiness. No one had ever done anything this nice for me before. 

“I've never owned a phone before. Are you guys sure? It looks expensive.” It comes out automatically and I don't miss the proud smiles gracing both their features. 

“Of course we're sure. It was my idea,” Tae unnecessarily adds in, causing Jungkook to give him a glare. 

“Seriously Tae,” he turns back to me, “I bought the bow.” Jin suddenly surges forward in his seat, 

“Hey! Who was the one who spent their money to buy her the phone? And who was the one that stopped Tae from accidentally buying her a Hello Kitty Phone? But did I take the credit? No!” Before the fight can escalate I start laughing, not just the chuckle from before but seriously laughing. I wipe my imaginary tears from my face looking at basically all of the boys, (except Yoongi who sneered at me but even his bad attitude wouldn't falter what I was about to say) “thank you so much.” I put as much genuinity as I can into the four words, not necessarily thanking them for the phone, but for the memories, they've given me. They seemed to actually like me.

How long would it take before that changed.

[aww-writing-no]

For Winterhawk Week, Day 3

Ao3 Link

Bond: 

Clint looked up from the cash register at Strike Bean Delta when he heard the door open and a cacophony of voices filled the small shop. Things had been quiet this morning, but with the new recruits arriving at Camp Lehigh today he hadn’t expected it to stay that way for long. 

Sometimes Clint hated being right. 

A whole pack of rowdy young men in army fatigues jostled for space as they stared at the menu above Clint’s head. He was about to roll his eyes at their ridiculous posturing when he laid eyes on one of them and felt a sharp pang of - something. 

There was nothing particularly remarkable about him. Grey-blue eyes and brown hair cropped army regulation short, he looked the same as half the kids who came through here for training. Yet Clint felt an immediate bond. Not lust. Definitely not lust, but more like… an old, comfortable friendship. Which was ridiculous because they’d never met before. 

When grey-blue eyes came up to the counter to place his order - medium dark-roast with extra room for cream - he paused, hand in the air and blinking slowly as he went to hand Clint his money. He shook his head slightly before asking, “Have we met?” 

Clint took the money and counted back his change before replying, “I don’t think so”. 

He seemed as confused as Clint, but didn’t press it, walking away to let Clint take the next order. On his way out he stuffed a five dollar bill in the tip jar, which seemed to indicate something, though Clint had no idea what it could be. 

Like many of the new recruits, grey-blue eyes became a regular over the next few months. Strike Bean Delta was the closest coffeeshop to the base, and got a steady stream of business from army folk who quickly tired of whatever institutional swill they served in the mess hall. 

With time Clint learned his name was James, but he went by Bucky of all things. He learned that he was eighteen, fresh out of high school, and had enlisted with his best friend Steve. He had big plans for when he got out of the army, most of which involved going to school and getting some kind of advanced science degree. He took his coffee with a frankly obscene amount of cream and sugar, and had a penchant for apricot cheese danishes. 

Basically, he was nothing like Clint. 

Clint took his coffee black, and often straight from the pot when he wasn’t working. He wasn’t a big fan of pastry, possibly because only ate them when they were stale - two days old and unfit to sell to customers, even at a discount. Technically he was supposed to throw them out, but he wasn’t about to go wasting food that was still edible. 

Clint had dropped out of high school at sixteen and immediately started doing whatever it took to keep food on the table. You know, when he managed to find a place that actually had a table. He was living on the street and had started getting into some real shady shit when he’d been approached by a guy who did outreach for a youth shelter. Somehow between Nick and Phil and the other counselors at SHIELD (Shelter for Homeless something or other - Clint could never remember the full name) they managed to help him get his life back on track. They weren’t good tracks. They were rusty and uneven and usually full of giant splinters, but they were his tracks all the same. 

When Bucky told him he’d been assigned to a unit and would be shipping out the next day, Clint told him to stay safe and impulsively scrawled his phone number on the side of Bucky’s cup. Bucky stuffed a twenty dollar bill in the tip jar on his way out. 

Clint got a text from an unfamiliar number a couple weeks later. It had a picture of the most dilapidated coffeemaker Clint had ever seen, and looked like it had been set up on a stack of crates in some kind of tent. The text read “I’d kill for a cold brew right now. -Bucky”.  

Clint laughed and sent back a picture of the fruit danishes in the display case. 

“Fuck, I’d kill for those too,” was the reply. 

They’d been texting on and off for close to a year - mostly idle chatter and pictures of deserts and humvees (Bucky) or coffee and dogs (Clint) - when Clint woke up screaming in the middle of the night, feeling like his arm was on fire. 

“What’s going on with your arm?” Natasha asked him later that day. 

Clint shook out his arm for what felt like the millionth time, wishing the pins and needles feeling would go away. He really didn’t want to drop a pot of hot coffee on himself today. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he tried not to make a habit out of it. “I probably just slept on it wrong,” he told her. 

Weeks later, his arm was still giving him problems. 

“Go see a doctor; you probably have a pinched nerve,” Natasha told him. 

“A doctor? Who can afford that?” he asked. Health insurance was for people with Real Jobs. He worked at a coffee shop. Besides, he was more worried about the fact he’d sent Bucky a picture of the cutest samoyed he’d ever seen and Bucky still hadn’t responded. One time he’d sent back a picture of one of the bomb sniffer dogs, and Clint still wasn’t over the cuteness of the german shepherd in its little vest and goggles. Clint wasn’t too proud to admit he was hoping for a reprise. 

When Bucky stepped into Strike Bean Delta almost six months later, Clint wouldn’t have recognised him if he hadn’t felt that sharp pang of something when he walked in the door. 

Bucky was wearing civvies, long hair tied up in a messy half-bun, and a lot more shadows under his eyes than when he’d left. Most notably, though, was the distinct lack of a left arm. 

Clint’s own arm went numb at the sight, and the blender he was holding fell to the ground with a loud crash. Strawberry-banana smoothie coated his shoes and oozed slowly across the floor. 

“Aww, smoothie, no,” he whined, and a wet towel hit him in the face, courtesy of Natasha. 

Cleaning up the smoothie gave him plenty of time to try to sort through his feelings, because he was having a lot of them. Like, a LOT of them. By the time he finished cleaning up his mess, his feelings still weren’t sorted, but Bucky was sitting awkwardly at one of the tables with a coffee in front of him. 

“Talk to him,” Natasha said, forcing a plate with an apricot cheese danish into his hands. “Don’t drop it,” she added a second later. 

“But Nat,” he whined, sneaking a glance at Bucky who was staring into his coffee like it held the secrets of the universe. 

“Talk. To. Him,” she repeated, turning Clint around by the shoulders and giving him a literal shove in the right direction. 

“Uhh, I’m glad you’re back,” Clint said, sliding the plate in front of Bucky and taking the seat across from him. He nodded at the missing arm. “I’m guessing that’s why I stopped getting pictures of cute dogs in uniform?” 

Bucky looked surprised, then let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Doctors tend to frown on having animals in the ICU,” he said. “Didn’t think you’d be interested in pictures of cups of jello.” 

Clint smiled, nervousness relaxing into a feeling of ease he seldom felt with other people. He rubbed his left arm unconsciously, telling Bucky, “You’d be surprised.” 

That got another laugh out of him and Bucky’s shoulders relaxed as he reached over to take a bite out of the danish. “Oh man, I’ve wanted this for so long” he said, tipping his head back and closing his eyes briefly. “You do not know how many nights I dreamed about coming back here just to eat one of these things.” 

Clint remembered all the times he’d had an unexpected pastry craving over the past few months and thought that maybe he did. 

“Who are you?” he asked abruptly. As soon as the words left his mouth Clint realized how crazy he must sound, but judging by the look Bucky leveled at him, he knew exactly what Clint was asking. 

Bucky took another bite out of the danish and chewed slowly, looking Clint over as if he didn’t know quite what to do with him. “I suppose I could ask you the same question,” he drawled as he finished chewing. “Who’s the mysterious barista that keeps showing up in my dreams?” 

“You dream about me?” Clint asked. 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You don’t?”

Clint shook his head. “No, not really. I just get these… I dunno, feelings? I don’t know how to explain it. I’m pretty sure I felt when you lost your arm.” 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, clearly startled. “That’s- that’s so messed up. I’m really sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” Clint said with a shrug. It wasn’t like he had any control over it - like either of them had any control over whatever the heck this was. “Still doesn’t answer my question, though.” 

“Last week I dreamt you lost your keys. You thought you’d dropped them on the subway and you had to have the neighbor let you in,” he told Clint, eyes seemingly focused somewhere past Clint’s left ear. “Last month I dreamt you were at a gun range, except you were hitting the targets using a bow and arrows. Last year when I was deployed I dreamt about you making coffee more times than I could count. One time you were making it while wearing a crocodile costume. I thought I was just missing home, but now? I don’t know.” 

Clint put his head in his hands as Bucky continued to stare off into space. He should probably be getting back to work soon, but this was too weird for words. He’d definitely done all of those things in real life. “It wasn’t a crocodile costume,” he said finally, at a loss for anything better to say. “It was Abigail the Alligator, the mascot for the sporting goods shop I buy my arrows from. They booked a coffee service for a special event, and they offered me a bonus for wearing the costume.”

Bond, Part II: Here

[nie7027]

Super5 headcanons pt 2

Edit:    Part 1    Part 2     Part 3    Part 4   Part 5

Minegishi can only stare

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"What do you care?"

"Why are you here?"

"I was bored"

Shimazaki could be here to kill him for betraying him but Minegishi is too tired for this and there are dishes to wash.

In the time it takes him to do the dishes and calm down his plants, shimazaki falls asleep so he goes to the living to room to get a better look at the man

Shimazaki looks almost the same except maybe a bit thinner and with possible hollower eyes. The crooked nose is definitely new. A crooked nose?? Did he broke his nose at some point?? He is even wearing the same clothes as last time. His precious jacket ripped at the edges. Scorching marks and bullet holes here and there.

With a long sigh he takes out his phone, turns off the volume and opens the super3 chat(the too spicy for Seris innocent eyes). The messages start to come in rapidly

Minegishi: Shimazaki is back

Hatori: what

Hatori: what do you mean Shimazaki is back???

Shibata: how did he find us? Did he try to fight you?

Minegishi: i mean he is asleep on my couch. No, he just ate all of my cereal.

Shibata: what the fuck?

Hatori: what the fuck?

Minegishi what the fuck indeed

Shibata: did he say what he wants? Do you know why is he here?

Minegishi: He didnt talk and I dont know

Hatori: what do we do?

Minegishi:

Minegishi: i dont know.

Minesishi: i cant make any calls or else he could wake up and seri isnt logged in so can someone call him and tell him whats going so they can take the necessary precautions

Shibata: im on it

Shibata: hatori is freaking out in his room anyway. I think he is begginin to build a security system.

Minegishi: ...

Shibata: yeah yeah ill go calm him after i talk with Seri.

Minegishi stares at his phones and then at the man on his couch, he cant blame them. Shimazaki is a really dangerous person and they dont know what he is doing here. Minegishi just wanted to do the dishes, water his plants and go to sleep.

The super5 will never know but Shimazaki wasnt lying per se. He WAS bored.

After he ran away from the fight against seasoning city espers he hid here and there taking his sweet time at recovering and once he did(his nose still felt strange but he ignored it) he started to look at what to do.

He joined many criminal organizations, afterall a teletransporter was very valued in the underworld. But not matter how petty or big the crime was, he got bored. So he ended leaving all of them. he even left some in the middle of a important job, not caring whether his employers got caught or not( it was their fault for being stupid and not having a backup plan anyway)

After some months of this he realized he was bored of normal criminals. He was bored of normal persons with narrowed mindsets who conformed with just comitting stupid crimes. HE HAD BEEN PART OF A PLAN TO TAKE THE WORLD and now he was trafficking some drug?? Lame.

Most of all he missed the thrilling sensation of being surrounded with persons that could actually put a fight against him. So he searched for something alike to claw, an organization of espers.

His search turned out fruitless and he decided then he should return to where all started. Claw. It was time to pay a visit to his expartners.

It took him just a week to locate them. It would have took him just a day but he was finally having some fun and god he was gonna drag it all he could.

So here he was in a tiny empty apartment, the crazy amount of plants with a certain aura being the only indication that it belonged to Minegishi...WHERE THE HELL WAS HE? Oh well. He had been waiting for a year. He could wait a little more. In any case in his hurry to get here he forgot to eat and he could hear a fridge running.

Shimazaki, still on the sofa, wakes up the next day at the sound of a blender. He is being held in place, bounded by lots and lots of thick green vines and sturdy roots from which he easily frees himself. The moment he does so the noise at the kitchen stops and an annoyed minegishi steps out. Shimazaki can feel him tensing, preparing for an attack and that makes him smirk .

Until an alarm clock goes off that makes Minegishi mutter a curse

"If you are gonna do something do it now. I have better things to do and i have to go now"

"Better things to do?? What can possibly be better than this??"

"I have work so if you are gonna just stand there and smirk be my guest"

"Work?"

"Yeah, work. you know? That thing you do for a living and that contributes to society? Fuck it.You probably dont. Anyway i gotta go" Turning his back on shimazaki is probably the worst idea but he couldnt sleep at all, he is late and he hasnt had breakfast so if shimazaki wants to kill him he will gladly accept it.

He miraculously manages to exit his apartment and make it to his work. He only hopes theres an apartment to come back later.

Shimazaki can only stare increduously to where minegishis used to stand. 'Work'? 'Contribute to society'? THE FUCK WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT this was completely unexpected and he doesnt know what to do until he notices theres a smell coming from the kitchen where Minegishi left his untouched breakfast. Well he supposes he can muse how to proceed over breakfast.

Hatori isnt allowed to use his phone at work but he is too anxious to care and he has powers to do it without anybody noticing

Spicy3 chat

Hatori: how did it went?

Minegishi: ...well...i guess?? I am alive and my flat was still in one piece last time i saw it

Hatori: he didnt try anything?

Minegishi: he woke up when it was time for me to go...so i just kinda left

Shibata: you just left? He didnt try to stop you???

Minegishi: no

Minegishi:but i think...

Hatori: WHAT

Shibata:what

Minegishi: i think he is...tired.

Minegishi: I bound him while he was sleeping and he never woke up nlr stirred. He didnt notice.

Hatori: weird

Minegishi: i know. Worst of all i couldnt eat and i have 2 hours more left until my break.

Shibata: i can pass on my way to gym and sneak you something

Minegishi: thanks

Hatori: if you want you can hang in our apartment for the time being. We still need to know what he wants

Shibata: yeah, and if he shows up we can fight him together💪

Minegishi: if Seri asks, everything is under control

It takes a week for Shimazaki to finally show up. Meanwhile Minegishi has to use Hatoris and Shibatas washing machine to wash his work uniform daily(it can get very dirty when you work in a flower shop) because his other sets of uniform are back at his place trapped with Shimazaki. So is his money and he has to lend some from Hatoris and shibatas and ask his boss for an advencement in his payment. He hates Shimazaki more now.

They cant do anything but stare blankly when he suddenly shows up in the middle of the living room where they were eating pizza holding an empty box of cereal and says "Theres no more food back there and i want more of these but i cant see how they are called" while pointing at the box.

Sometimes its very easy to forget he is actually blind. Hatori weakly says the name of the branch of cereal he is holding and Shimazaki dissapears again before anybody can say anything.

"Did everybody saw what i just saw right??what the fuck? What the fuck?" shibata exclaims

"...my food"minegishi laments

Its not until an hour of wondering what was that and wracking their brain for an asnwer after that shimazaki returns, a brand new box of the cereal in his hands. He picks up a slice of the forgotten pizza and sits besides Shitaba.

"You didnt pay for that did you?" asks Shitaba

Shimazaki just turns around and stares st him with his hauntingly empty eyes "you too?"

"PAY? WORK? CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU"

"Weve changed"

"Yeah we have jobs and stuff, we help peopl"

"YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORKING?"

"TO NOT PARASITE ON OTHERS HARD WORK LIKE SOME PEOPLE IN HERE" finally explodes Minegishi

The man frowns and rapidly done with the conversation teleports away.

Minegishi finally returns to his place, his web of plants telling him Shimazaki isnt there anymore. Re stashing his fridge and cabinet is a pain in the ass.

Shimazakis plan had been to either find his expartners and form something alike to Claw with them or just antagonize them until he gets the fight he so much craves. None of that has happened because all of them had turned to a bunch of weakling pussies and he cant even find Serizawa.

He could still try to fight them but he bitterly realizes he wont get any satisfaction of beating them if they keep acting like that, restraining themselves and trying to be civil as if they werent the same persons that destroyed this very city a year ago. It would be like punching flowers!

The point was to get rid of his boredness and now he is just angry!

He needs them to drop the act.

Thats when a plan starts to form in his head and he smirks. He is going to show them what they are missing on.

Thats how he finds himself back in minegishis apartment.

"Im just saying you could probably grow tons of weed, good quality of course. And i take care of the transport i know a bunch of people-"

"Weed? Are you serious? Is this why you came back? To start a drug trafficking bussines?"

"Im just saying with my teletransporting abilities and yourplant thing we could save lots of money in transport and become richer than-"

"No"

"AREN YOU TIRED OF THIS? OF SHITTY CUSTOMERS GETTING YOU IN TROUBLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW RAINBOW ROSES DONT NATURALLY EXIST?"

"WHERE YOU SPYING ME AT WORK?"

"MAYBE SO"

"DONT DO IT AND STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD"

He then tries with shibata, approaching him during one of his morning running routines. Teletransporting every 2 meters at his side while he keeps running clearly ignoring him

"With your force, not that i need it, we could terrorize all the bussines of a whole prefecture and force them to pay for protection. We win, they win"

"Not interested"

"Why not?! It would be so easy"

"I dont want to"

"Could you stop running? This is important"

"No thanks"

"You arent even listening!"

"Good"

He finally tries with Hatori thinking he would be the easiest of them

"You hack the system and we force all those politicians to pay us to not release all their dirty secrets"

"I am busy"

"No you are not. You are playing mario kart. I can hear Yoshi"

"Ive changed"

"Have you? Really???" at this point Shimazaki raises an eyebrow, he is so done and he wont keeo with this bullshit "because everywhere i have been, and i have been everywhere, the interpol, cia, you name it HAS BEEN AFTER ME whereas you three can waltz into a store like nobodys bussiness. WE COMMITED THE SAME CRIME. WE DESTROYED THIS CITY so how come im the only one being persecuted? Huh? You think I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID"

Hatori pauses the game and glares at him. Good, he is finally getting a reaction.

" i did what had to be done and i wont let YOU of all people tell me-"

"Me? Of all people? You believe yourself so grand and high when you are nothing but THE SAME AS ME" immediately shimazaki feels hatoris aura flare. what must have been his console shifting and changing into something new. Whatever it is, he is sure he can block it.

"Really? You are gonna fight me? I want to see you-" a horrible sound like nothing he had ever heard before pierces his ears making him howl in pain and he teleports away.

After that accident shimazaki never mentions Hatoris dirty secret again but that doesnt stop him from keep trying to get them to commit felonies again.

He thinks he once "saw" Serizawa on the street but his aura was quickly eaten by the aura of the person by his side. He didnt stayed to find out and quickly teleported away.

And this goes like this for 3 months, his proposals becoming more and more desesperate until one day he just... gives up.

Shimazaki should have left or killed them months ago but for some reason he prefers to stay here. He wont admit it but hes having more fun living on their couches annoying them than what he would have had they accepted his proposals.

He takes special delight in annoying them when they had hard days. (Minegishi comes home covered in something stinky and almost strangles shimazaki with his own hands after he comments this wouldnt have happened if he had accepted to traffick weed in a yacht with him)

...besides he has noticed that now in both apartments there is always a box of his favourite cereal (hatori sweared it was the cereal what placated Shimazaki given how docile he was whenever he was seen eating it, shibata and minegishi just liked it)

The super3 cant believe it themselves but they have now gotten used to the constant presence of Shimazaki in their lives (which isnt surprising given they spent at least 3 years together).

Well constant is a way to put it because the man still has the habit of dissapearing 3-5 days every once in a while and reappearing like nothing happened

But they know this cant keep going like this and thats how minegishi finds himself texting the super3 chat one day he comes to an empty apartment

Minegishi: is shimazaki there?

Hatori: yeah, hes playing smash with shitaba

Minegishi: playing smash??

Hatori: its seems he learned the patron of my movements by observing me and now hes kicking Shitabas ass as princess peach

Minegishi: ?

Hatori: we told him he was playing bowser

Minegishi: whatever, tell him to bring his ass back. I need to go grocery shopping and i need his help

"Why would i help you grocery shopping?" says shimazaki suddenly to his right

At the same his phone sounds 2 times

Shibata: hatori said something to him and he just teleported

Shibata: is safe to assume he is with you?

Minegishi: yea, im taking charge from here

"Im teaching you to do grocery shopping"

"I dont need you to teach me shit"

" yes, you do if you want to keep eating that cereal you like and that you finished this morning"

Shimazaki raises his eyebrow, teleports and after 5 min returns with 5 boxes of the damn cereal in his arms

"There. Its done"

"DID YOU JUST ROBBED THEM? YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS"

"WHY NOT? ITS EASIER"

"THATS NOT THE POINT"Minegishi stops, breathes amd tries again "Shimazaki you cant keep doing this and i dont mean just the whole robbing, i mean i dotn know what you do when you dissapear for days but when you are here you just eat our food, wait for us to come home from work and then annoy us?"

"So? I can do whatever i want"

"Do you realize how pathethic it sounds?Is this really all you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do?"

Shimazaki doesnt wanna hear anymore of that and teleports

He ends teleporting to a random alley where he passes the night

The next days his mood isnt any better and he spends them sleeping, terrorizing random deliquents he finds in his way and kicking bags of trash until one day of the "bags" lets out a yelp.

Its shibata who finds him some days later during one of his running routines when he follows the sound of a hurt dog

Expecting to see a bunch of nasty kids terrorizing a poor animal he steps up to confront them only to find his missing "friend" glaring at poor dog and screaming "STOP COMPLAINING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT MOVING I DIDNT EVEN KICK YOU THAT HARD"

He texts a quickl "Found him" to the group chat and marches up to him

"You shouldnt be kicking random things in the first place"

"Get lost"

" are you sure you didnt kick him hard? He is limping and we both know your kicks arent exactly soft"

"If i had wanted, a limp would be the least of its problems" still he makes a face as if he isnt sure

With a sigh Shibata carefully picks up the dog and motions to shimazaki "theres a vet nearby. You kicked him so you own him that at least. Dont worry ill pay" he doesnt wait for Shimazakis response and walks, relief overflowing him once he hears footsteps behind him

The consult is quick and the vet gleefully hands shimazaki "his" dog while she explains to shibata the treatment they should follow the next three months

Shimazaki...had never in his life pet a dog, much less carried one. His fur feels dirty and is tangled everywhere but the vet said it just needs a bath. It is warm and he can feel and hear his steady breaths. His mental eye allows him to perceive the flowing of his blood, the currents in his brain, the beating of his heart...all what makes a living being held in his arms. Things he has always perceived but never payed attention. The fact that the dog starts to lick his hands doesnt go unnoticed and he feels strangely calm. His grip tightening.

They are about to exit the clinic, shibata saying his last thanks when a woman and a girl enter. That very moment the dog starts to squirm in his embrace. And he doesnt know what to do

"Hey are you alright? I can hold it if you want" asks shibata noticing his turmoil

" yeah, its just the stupid dog WHO HAS FORGOTTEN HE CANT WALK"

The girls who shibata notices has red puffy narrows her eyes and yells "DONT CALL HIM STUPID YOU ARE THE STUPID" before turning to look at shimazaki, whatever she was going to say next is forgotten as she stares with wide eyes.

Both the moms and shimazakis replies are drowned by the girl scream of "UESAMA! MOM ITS HIM ITS MY DOG"

For some reason shimazaki feels his blood run cold and lifts up the dog even more when the girl comes clashing at his legs desesperately trying to grab her dog

Shibata who noticed shimazakis earlier expression cant believe what hes seeing (please god, please tell me he isnt gonna fight a girl over a dog) when the vet decides to come out to see what is happening

"Im sorry, my little girl believes those boys over there have Uesama"

"ITS HIM"

"Uesama?..." the vet stares some seconds in confusion before her eyes grow wider "Oh how didnt i notice it before! Im sorry sirs but it seems you have found this little girls dogs" the vets looks expectantly at shimazaki

Shimazaki who has been holding a very squirming dog and listening to the screams of a girls is starting to get very annoyed. The tempation to teleport away with the dog too big to ignore. Hes about to do it when he hears the dog crying again.

With a huff he hands it to the very thankful mother and exits the clinic as quickly as he can.

Shibata follows suit "I saw your face before they arrived. I can tell what you did"

"Shut up"

The walk home is strangely quiet but at least he is back.

The joke on the spicy chat is that the super 3 are dumb and believe they are protecting oh so pure Seri when in reality they just share dumb penis jokes while Seri is actually riding Reigens dick.

And yes as his last crime Hatori threatened with realeasing all the state secrets of all the goverments and provoking a worldwide crisis if they didnt allow them to try to live normal lives

I just noticed this is more of a fanfic than a list of headcanons now but meh. What i wanted to actually be part 2 is gonna be part 3? 4? I didnt even get to write the prank the super5 were gonna pull on shimazaki but now you have something to look up next time.

Im not that happy with how the second half turned out but maybe im just tired.

[cchellacat]

Dancing In The Dark

Love All The Marvel Ships Challenge 

Day Sixteen ~ Dancing

Darcy had been thrown into the past six months ago.  When she had landed here, bruised, bloodied and shaken she had panicked.  She had no ID, no one she could turn to for help and no way home.

Jane had been working on her Bifrost inspired bridge when the explosion occurred.  One-minute Darcy had been throwing herself into Jane's path and pushing her out of the way, and the next she had been engulfed in this wave that had felt as though she were being put through a blender than put back together again.  When she had woken it had been in an abandoned building in London at the height of the Blitz.

According to a newspaper she had procured the date was July 1943.  She had wandered into a hospital shortly after, claiming amnesia.  It hadn’t been a difficult sell, she had after all been dropped from a height when the shock wave that had picked her up during the explosion dumped her here in this time.

After being passed from one person to another and talking to numerous people from different agencies and departments they had cleared Darcy as being stable and sane and well enough to look after herself, even with memory loss.

Being a single woman in this era wasn’t easy, worse still she had no one to help, no friends or money.  She had done the only thing she could and joined the WAC.

They had quickly noted her aptitude for nursing.  Not surprising considering all the mandatory and voluntary courses she had attended as Jane’s sole support staff.  One of them had to know how to deal with potentially life-threatening injuries and, since so often they worked with dangerous machines and sometimes all alone out in the middle of no where, it had made sense for Darcy to pick up a few courses, or ten.

By this point she had become a qualified medic.  It was good being able to use the skills in the here and now of the past.

After the difficult and harrowing six months she had almost become used to her new normal.  A small part of her however still craved home.  She stubbornly tried to stay out of known events or interacting with anyone she had ever read about or heard about, not wanting to take the chance of changing the past.  Who knew what damage she could do without knowing.  So far it had been easy, she was just a lowly nurse, no one special or likely to make waves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was New Year and some of the other girls had convinced Darcy to come out for a drink with them to celebrate the New Year.  Reluctantly, she had agreed.

So here she was sitting in a dimly lit pub, crowded with people, listening as a small piano and a band played at the back of the room.

The bartender had just set down her drink when she saw him.  Darcy had to stifle the urge to call out his name at the sight of him.  Steve Rogers stool tall and broad just a few feet away, leaning against the bar, his back to her.  She would know him anywhere though.  His silhouette was unmistakable.

Before being thrown back here she and Jane had been working with Stark. They had been given lab space at the compound , which is where Jane was building her own Bifrost.

Darcy’s urge to mother hen anything looking remotely in need had kicked in for most of the Avengers and she had tucked Steve and Bruce and Tony firmly under her wing.  She cooked for them, helped in the labs, made sure they went to bed and worked with Steve on navigating modern culture, social media and the internet.  He had been quickly becoming one of her best friends.

The sharp stab of homesickness buried itself in her gut, she wanted to go home so badly, she missed them all so much.  She had to get out of here.  She paid for her drink, knocked it back and made her excuses to the girls before winding her way through the throng to get out the door.

Just as the door came in sight a man reached out for her.

 “Where are you off to Doll, the good music’s just started?”

Darcy freezes in shock at the words.  She had been waiting her whole life to hear those words.  Waiting patiently, knowing that one day her soulmate would say them to her.  This could not be happening. 

He’s looking at her, waiting for something, but for the first time in her life she can’t speak a word.  He’s so damn pretty too.  Tall, with broad shoulders and the most beautiful eyes, wide and blue and full of mischief.  God, she bet he was a heart breaker.  He turned up the charm and smiled at her as she allowed him to brush his hand down her arm to take her hand in his.

“What do you say sweetheart?  Dance with me before you go?”

The smile he gave her was one part sweet and two parts trouble, but she couldn’t help the tiny sound of amusement that left her mouth or the way her lips curved into a grin of accent.

His smile widened at her acquiesce and he tugged her back towards the dance floor, just as the band began a new song.

He drew her into his arms and she went willingly.  There was no place she would rather be.  Was this why she’d been sent back?  To meet this man who would change her life?  What did it mean for her?  Would she never return home, would she live out her life here with her soulmate?

He held her gently, as if he was afraid to scare her off, there was a respectful distance between their bodies as they danced, but as the music changed, she let herself drift closer until she was pressed up against his strong chest.  She felt safe there, in his arms, his hand placed just a hair too low on her back than was strictly appropriate for the time. 

The song was a sad one, about losing the one you loved, of the hope of meeting them again one day.  She should have figured from that omen right there that this new shiny hope she’d just been presented with was doomed.  But she didn’t know that yet, so she snuggled into his chest, laying her head against his heart and sighed as he rested his cheek in her hair.  For the first time in six months the weight of worry had lifted, all she wanted was to bask in it forever.

Her eyes had closed as she let him lead her through the steps, what there was of them, and so she didn’t see Steve approaching with a sharp eyed Peggy Carter at his side just as the music came to an end.

“Bucky, we’re going to head back to the base.  Are you coming?”

Darcy stepped back from her partners arms at Steve’s voice so close and felt her mouth go dry.

“Hey pal, sure.  Just let me grab my coat.  Doll, you’ll let us walk you back home first, alright?”   

He looked down at her hopefully and she nodded out of panic.  The slowly dawning horror of the situation she finds herself in breaking through.  Bucky.

Her soulmate was Bucky Barnes.  Steve’s best friend.  The one he spoke of to her so often.  The same friend that dies tragically just over a year from now.  She feels the grief clawing at her throat.  All she wants is to find a quiet place to scream and cry at the unfairness of it all.

Then it dawns on her that she’s left standing there with Steve and Peggy Carter.

“I’m sorry ma’am, Bucky has no manners, I’m Steve and this is Peggy.”

On auto pilot Darcy shakes their hands.

“I’m Darcy, it’s lovely to meet you.”

She looks through the crowd where Bucky had gone and comes to a decision.   Perhaps if it had been anyone else, even knowing they were going to die, she would have stayed by them, been with them right to the end.  But there is so much riding on these people.  People who make decisions, life and death decisions every day that shape how the war turns out.   Steve had never mentioned Bucky having a soulmate and to the best of her knowledge he had died, his words still the deep black of those unclaimed.  She can’t be here, can’t love him, can’t have the very thing she wants most, even more than going home to Jane and the others.

Darcy steps back.

“I’m sorry.”  She says to Steve.  “Tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t….  I just….  I am so sorry.  I have to go.”

She turns and pushed through the crowd and manages to make it outside, running as quickly as her feet will take her, till she’d back in her dormitory at the hospital.  She strips shakily and climbs underneath the covers and cries.  She cries till there is nothing left except dry sobs that feel as though her body might break apart from the pain of them.

A week later a portal opens in front of her and she’s suddenly back in the future.  Jane waiting to hug her, apologising over and over about how long it took to get her back.

It’s turns out it’s been fourteen months since she was thrown back in time.  Darcy had a lot of catching up to do.  She throws herself into getting up to date through social media and checks in on the situation with Shield.  That had been a shock, finding out that they had been infiltrated by Hydra, the whole organisation falling apart and Captain America’s role in it….  Darcy felt as though she was still playing catch up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve is gone for six months after Darcy returns, no one knowing quite what he’s up to, only that he’s looking for something.  So Darcy settles back into her life, helping Jane and Tony and Bruce, working through the deep sadness that assaults her from one day to the next.

When Steve calls in to say he’s coming home, Darcy gets his suite ready for him and two guest suites for the friends he’s bringing.  One of her favourite coping mechanisms is baking.  With Steve returning, the memory of Bucky rears up freshly in her mind.  So she bakes.  Apple pie, Blackberry crumble, Raspberry and Pear strudel.  Muffins of every variety and enough cookies to fill three jars.  She’d just pulled the last pie from the oven when she hears Steve’s voice as he enters the room.

“The kitchen’s through here, every one’s welcome to use it, but you’ll usually find…  Darcy?”

Darcy grins at the shock on Steve’s face.

“I’m back!”  She throws up some jazz hands and laughs at his expression.  He bounds over like the over eager puppy that he is and she shrieks when he picks her up and hugs her.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”  He demands.

“Hey, I tried to get a hold of you but you were the one not returning or accepting calls Cap.”

“Well, I’m really glad you’re home Darcy.  There’s someone I really want you to meet.”

She turns as he smiles over her shoulder, smiling in welcome to whoever he has brought and feels the world fall out from under her.

For months she had dreamt of him, of his face, of his smile, of eyes bluer and deeper than the sea.  She had thought that she would never look on him again.  That that one night when she had danced in his arms and for a brief moment believed she might have found something wonderful, something forever, that it was the only time she would ever have with him again.

Now she stands in the future, her future and he is there.  Real and alive and so very, very present.  She can’t feel her fingers or her toes, then her vision starts to frey at the edges.   Everything narrows to one point, his eyes, looking into hers.  The last thing she registers is the expression in them turning from shock at seeing her to fright.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve tracking him down had probably been inevitable, he’d just crossed into Romania when Steve and Sam caught up with him.  He’d been ready to bolt when Steve had called out to him, it had just been a name.  One he’d never even had from the lips of the dame it belonged to.  But it had been enough to stop him in his tracks.  It had been enough for him to listen to them.

There were still too many gaps in his memory, whole years gone that he would probably never get back but he remembered meeting her.

New Year 1944, he’d been a hole in the wall pub, in London.   It had been a good night, the music had been playing and he’d danced with plenty of pretty gals.  Then he’d seen her, sitting at the bar, knocking back a drink before hopping down off a stool, leaving in  a hurry. 

She had been wearing a dark blue dress, nothing flashy, but she had moved with purpose, her hips swaying, shoulders back, her dark hair held back from her face with pearl clips, her lips painted crimson.   She’d looked lost for someone so set on going somewhere, and he’d been unable to resist stopping her, asking her to dance.

At first, he’d thought she would refuse but she hadn’t.  She had stood rooted to the spot, looking at him like she couldn’t believe he existed.  Looked at him like he mattered.  There had been a pull within him to charm her, hold her close, get to know who she was. 

They had danced slowly through two songs and by the end of it he had known that nothing and no one, would ever feel as right and good in his arms as she did.  He’d only left for a minute to get his coat.  When he came back, she was gone. 

He had looked for her, but he’d never seen her again.  He and Steve had manged to track her down to St Bart’s Hospital, where she worked, about two weeks later.  One of the other nurses had told them she’d went missing just a few days before.

She had never spoke to him.   Steve had told him what she’d said before she left that night and he had known then.  Known why she had left so quickly.  She was running from him because she knew what he was to her.  At first he’d been angry about it, but the longer he thought it over the more he came to see why she had done it.  She had been afraid to speak because if she had, it would have been real.  She would have said his words and then she would have lost him.  Turns out she had been right.

Steve shouting her name to him made him stop.  Then Steve had brought out his phone and handed it to him.  There she was, smiling into the camera, her eyes bright with laughter.  That was what had made him come back.  The promise, the possibility that he would find her again.

Steve had explained about the accident that had caused her disappearance from this time, that had sent her back to their past.  That Doctor Foster was working on bringing her back, that he was certain that the her sudden disappearance in 1944 had been Doc Foster bringing her back to her future.  So he’d followed his old pal back to the States, hoping for a miracle.  Hoping that what he had thought all those years ago was the truth.

Then they were there, standing in the slick looking modern kitchen in Upstate New York, the girl he’d dreamed about, about to greet him after seventy years.

He watches as she smiles automatically at him before she recognises him.  The way her hands flare out in front of her, shaking as her face drains of colour and her smile falls as her eyes widen in shock.  He knows what’s about to happen before she suddenly drops like a puppet with its strings cut.

He catches her before she can hurt herself, scooping her up easily and snapping at Steve for dropping it on her like that.  He at least knew what he might be walking into.

A few minutes later, unable to let her go now he’s found her again, she slowly comes too, held in his arms, her blue eyes full of surprised elation, tears beginning to gather as she takes in her knew reality.

 “I can’t believe you’re here, I thought you were dead!”

He grins at her stupidly, pressing his head to hers.

“You said my words.”

“You said mine first.”  She retorts, tone both apologetic scolding.

He feels complete, like all the missing pieces of him have been filled with a light that he’d lost long ago.  It was her light, making him whole again, driving some of the darkness away.

Darcy wipes at her tears and reaches out to him, touching his face, hand still shaking form shock, but he’s real and alive.  His stubble scratching her fingertips, she brings them to his lips and he kisses them gently.  He lowers her to her feet, but she throws her arms around his neck and clings, the reality hitting her as she cries into his neck.

She’s not sure how long he holds there, but she knows that Sam and Steve leave them be, giving them the privacy they need.  She had thought he was gone, had tried to process that loss only to find him again.  She doesn’t understand how he’s here, it doesn’t matter, all that does is that he is.

“I’m here Doll, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”  He tells her.  That’s when she realises she has been muttering out loud, all the fear that’s been wrapped up inside her that he’ll disappear again.

“I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“I can’t believe you are.  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”  He tells her.  She can hear the same pain in his voice that she knows carries in her own.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, you never said a word, but I knew.  Never felt anything else so right in my life as dancing with you Doll.”

“Neither have I.”  she whispers into his chest as he kisses the top of her head.

It’s going to be alright now.  Everything is going to be fine.  All she can feel is him, all around her, putting all the jagged broken pieces back together again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.  Now can we try this again, we never were properly introduced?”  She looks up in confusion as he lets her go.

“My name’s James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”

Darcy laughs and holds out her hand.

“Darcy Lewis, I’m your soulmate.”

He takes her hand and bows over it, giving it a kiss.  It’s the beginning, and not the end, of a very happy story.

NEXT

@captain-rogers-beard

[stylessemantics]

VIII. Little Stockings

Also called: Baby it’s warm inside.  Prompt: The classic christmas hit “baby it’s cold outside” except Harry loves puns and there’s a baby in the oven, so it’s warm, isn’t it? He’s also pretending to be a photographer although he’s not that bad at it.

This may be a stand-alone piece from the pregnancy series I want to write. An excerpt if you may. So if you guys like this I’ll know if maybe you want the full pregnancy fic? 

Warning: some slight indications of slight smut. Mostly fluff. 

In which Harry and the Missus’s holiday cards bring the news that they are expecting little baby styles.

“I was thinking…” You heard Harry say from the living room, the sound muffled with the hum of the blender you were currently using to make his usual kale smoothie. You felt him before you saw him, as he came behind you wrapping his arms around your frame and resting his head on your shoulder. “That sounds dangerous” you joked. The roll of his eyes was practically audible to you as he chuckled.
 “Ha, Ha. No but seriously.” His large hands pushed you to turn around and face him with attentive eyes.  “Was thinking o’the cards”
 “What cards?” Your brows furrow in confusion as you twist around just to turn the blender off and unplug it, then flipping back to him with crossed arms. 
“The holiday postcards!” He stated like it was the most obvious thing and then you remembered that earlier that year you had talked about sending postcards to friends and family for christmas but had yet to decide on a theme or anything of the sorts. In fact you had yet to talk about the topic after it became December which is why the topic sounded so confusing at first. If you were honest other things were more pressing at the time for you, and you were reminded of that when Harry placed his warm hand on your growing tummy. “We could announce our little bump with ’em, yeah?” The smile on his face was big and bright, like nothing would make him happier than having adorable themed photos being taken and spreading the news to your family and friends this way. Lately with all of Harry’s traveling, people’s schedules, and the fact that both of you wanted to do something to announce the baby instead of a million phone calls and the mouth to mouth rumor spread, the official news of Baby Styles were yet to be given.

With a happy smile you agreed to Harry’s idea. It worked pretty well and it took most of the stress of planning some dinner party and having to host out of the whole ordeal. Plus it seemed more homey and cozy to announce it this way and you were all on board with the thought of a cute photoshoot for the unborn child. With a hop Harry separated himself from your body, clapping once in excitement, as if celebrating convincing you of the idea – which wasn’t hard at all – before he pressed a kiss to your cheek.
 “Perfect! Because I already ordered props fo’ the photos on amazon!” And of course he had.
 “Harry!” You weren’t actually surprised that he was already 7 steps ahead, but instead amused at his excitement.
 “Trust me, y/n. I have ideas!” He finished as if that was supposed to relief you, and he proceeded to pour himself his smoothie that you had prepared, taking a long gulp of the greenish substance you could not stand – not even before the bump and all the cravings and hormones kicked in – and licking his top lip rid of it. 
 “Yeah, that’s the problem” you joked pushing at him when he came to prop another kiss on your cheek, not wanting anything to do with his kale drink.

And he did have ideas. The biggest one involving him being the photographer and taking pictures of you as you randomly posed in front of the christmas tree. At the beginning you thought it was silly, because you wanted Harry to be in the photos as well, it made sense that the family postcard had the whole family in it. But after a while of comfortably posing – due to the fact that it was harry behind the lens and not some stranger – and Harry admitting with a wink and a cheeky smirk that the shots he was taken were for him and only him, you had gotten more and more into the shoot. 

He had ordered more ornaments for the tree, fake gifts, a square cutout that resembled a photo in an ultrasound. Harry really went all out, and while you were confused as to why you’d need all the props, after he explained his vision and the photos he wanted for himself, you were ok with laying on the floor in front of the tree, holding a small stocking to your exposed growing baby bump. That was another detail, because the more photos were snapped the more Harry requested for pieces of clothing to get off your body, and the more he stopped snapping away at the blocky camera to lay a kiss on your stomach. It wasn’t until you expressed that you wanted a photo with him to put on the actual card that Harry perched the camera on a tripod and centered it to capture both your figures sat in front of the tree. It was edging closer to night time and by now all the camera could grab was the shadows of you in front of the lit christmas tree. In the viewfinder anyone would be able to see how Harry’s shadow came to sit next to you, laying another kiss on your bump and then one to your lips as he pushed you closer to his frame until you were sat between his legs on the hardwood floor.


“Yeh know” he whispered, making out your silhouette with the help of the twinkling lights. “I love yeh so much” he didn’t need much light to tell you were blushing at his words. 
“And I love you too, dork” “Was thinking of what t’write on the card…” 
“Do tell” the whole conversation happened in hushed tones as you rubbed your nose to his with a smile on your face and his dimples were full on display.
 “How about ‘It’s warm inside’. Yeh know… As in Baby it’s cold outside, ‘cept we’ve got a bun in the oven so it’s warm inside?” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes which was as strong as the urge to burst out laughing at his pun. “Seriously?” 
“Yeah! S’ great!” The smile on his face said it all. Harry was really excited and sold on the idea of spreading the news with a pun of his own titling the whole thing, and you couldn’t burst his bubble – even though you’d liked it as well but you’d never tell. He wouldn’t let you live it down. You liking one of his puns – so it was set. And that’s how your family christmas card went to having a simple ‘Happy Holidays’ to a joke only a few would find funny. 
 “Fine. It’s good” 
“I know. After all it is quite true” he said moving his face closer to yours “It was quite warm inside” He murmurs as his fingers cheekily slide slowly over your pants – which you’re miraculously still wearing – and more precisely over your center, reminding you of his favourite thing to say when he’s buried deep inside you – Yeh’re so warm and tight – and making you shiver in his hold. 
“Harry…” “Mhmmm…” His hands caressed your back and came around to do the same to your pregnant stomach as he positioned his mouth to yours, looking for a kiss, one you granted him with no problem. Maybe it was the hormones, or the fact that you were already half naked thanks to his artistic photographic demands – or that cheeky pinch at your folds over the fabric of your christmassy sweats – but you let yourself be consumed by the kiss as you sank down, moaning slightly, and perched on top of him. His fingers drew random shapes wherever they touched and grabbed, sighing into the kiss and the feeling of you, his wife, so close and so perfect. “M’sorry. You’re just the sexiest baby momma I’ve seen” the words make you blush and tingle all at the same time feeling his fingers sway to your warm womanhood making you whimper. “I love yeh… Both of yeh.”

With those words and the promise that he wanted to make you feel good, his grabby hands started removing your pants as he prepped your neck and face with kisses. From the corner of your eye you can make the shape of the camera and you’re instantly reminded of the task at hand, except the little red light is blinking, and through jagged breaths you stop Harry’s curious fingers. “Harry… Is… Is that on?” You question, not really feeling betrayed or opposed to the idea completely, but more so to make that Harry knows what’s happening, that this is on purpose, so this doesn’t become an incident later on if it happened to be an accidental home video neither of you knew about. 
And then Harry whispered to your ear. “For my eyes only” and you let yourself melt in his hands as he made you feel good just like he promised, with his expert digits and whispered words and promises that had you reeling, panting for your release as he smiled at how he made you feel, not caring in the slightest about his own pleasure at the time, instead fully focused on giving you a very enjoyable break and blissful relaxation he could only imagine your pregnant body needed.

None of the takes from that night were meant to see the light of day, they were for you and Harry to enjoy on your own time, to look back on, and to have and cherish. The following morning however, Harry settled a small shoot in the backyard with his tripod, around the christmas decorations you’d settled mid-november, with him behind you, holding his stocking and yours as you pressed the small one to your tummy, and you looked at each other lovingly. He, of course, had taken the time to snap other photos of you kissing, him smooching the baby bump and other cute poses for the both of you to decide on later so he could send them to get the postcards done.

A few days later Harry’s excited yelp could be heard all through the house when he waltzed in your bedroom, envelope filled with printed post cards ready to be delivered. They were quite beautiful, with its red and snowy christmas theme and bold “Baby it’s warm inside” center and top of the beautiful shot of you snuggling together, framed with twinkling lights and proudly presenting the upcoming baby styles. “Yeh know… Tha’s the cutest pregnant belly I’ve seen y/n” he pointed with a grin. 
“Shut up, dork” you bit back, taking the envelope from his hands, causing him to drop the smaller envelope behind it. With surprised eyes and a gasp like he’d been caught red-handed stealing from the cookie jar, he scurried to pick it up before you could question it but it was too late “What’s that?” 
“Nothing!” The obvious guilty response. All you did was give him a pointed look and he whined in defeat. “Jesus woman! Don’t look at me like tha’!” He groaned as he pulled the envelope in front of you and picked the two photos from inside it. When you ran your eyes over them you were immediately warm to the cheeks. The first one was a very beautiful photo of your silhouette in front of the christmas tree as you held your bump. The one photo Harry had told you he’d love to keep for himself at all times. 
 “I love it…” he smiled kissing your cheek at your response.  “I love yeh too.” Harry added, as you flipped it behind the other photo to look at the second one. No one other than Harry and yourself could probably tell exactly who the people in the photo were, but it was the both of you, a mess of shadows in front of the lit tree, and if you squinted hard enough you could see Harry’s hand disappear between your legs in it, clearly a still from the video he’d recorded.
 “Harry!” “Hey! For my eyes only!” He yelped jokingly, plucking the photo out of your grasp and guarding it under his shirt as if that was enough to hide it from the world. You burst out laughing at his face. After calming down from the laugh attack, Harry engulfed you in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Merry christmas baby momma.”
 “Merry christmas baby daddy” You stood on your tippy toes, reaching to kiss him on the lips lovingly. Harry sighs into the kiss, squeezing at your hip, a smile on his features, making it hard to kiss properly, but making it that much more wonderful to share this moment. 

Pulling apart he took to rubbing your tummy with soft touches swaying your bodies side to side. 
 “We should mail these now” He added excitedly but you groaned, refusing to let go of the hug. He eyed you confused. 
 “Or we could reenact that photo you’re trying to hide.” Harry’s eyebrows arched at your suggestion. “After all, I should make you feel good too” 
“Well well well” he chuckled, amused at the proposition but completely on board with it. “Yeh don’t hafta but I won’t stop yeh…” He was reassuring you that there was no pressure in returning the ‘favour’ to him, after all he never saw pleasuring you as a favour that needed any payback. He got off your gratification as it was. But you nodded your head, biting your lip excitedly, letting him know you wanted to. 

Sure, maybe it was the hormones, but Harry wasn’t going to complain. He placed the envelopes on his bedside table before turning to you, ready to make you feel good once more. 
“Hmm… Merry christmas indeed” He whispered before closing his mouth on yours and allowing your bodies to fall on the mattress.

Thanks for reading! The idea of “Baby it’s warm inside” came to me randomly lol. And I was like OMG DAD!HARRY AND HIS WIFE EXPECTING A BABY DURING CHRISTMAS SEASON?! THE BEST! So here’s my attempt at that. Also I didn’t know where the hell this was going which would explain the sudden indications of smut in the middle of it but this was meant to be just fluff.

Smooches - Iv. x Masterlist

[labradorloverr-blog]

My Zodiac: He’s gonna be the death of me.

GUYS I THOUGHT OF THIS AT 3AM. It’s going to be an amazing book I’m really excited. I hope everyone enjoys because for once I created something of my own. I am moving on up from fanfictions!!! Which I will still write of course.

                             Chapter One: James Olivia Franklin

   Zodiacs.

Honestly, a load of bullshit.  People use star constellations to tell them who they should fall in love with.  Or to justify their shitty personalities and guys use them as pick up lines. They shouldn’t waste their time like this.

When I was young and bedtime didn’t really exist, and the rare occasion my mom had a night off, I would be out in the fields behind our house with her. We would be wrapped in blankets, and have a telescope and hot cocoa.

        She would look up at the sky, with the stars reflecting in her eyes and tell me, “Jamie, they’re out there. They’re watching us.” She believes there is no god or jesus or Greek gods or literally any of them. “It’s the twelve Zodiacs that take care of us.” There’s probably a reason she’s crazy.

She's not really crazy, it’s only dementia.

She used to be an amazing astronomer, she would do lectures and teach college classes all about the sky. I share her love for the night sky. That’s what I’m going to to do when I get hell hole called high school. But I’m gonna make sure this silly zodiac crap is put to rest.

         My name is Jamie, or James Olivia Franklin, I’m eighteen and 5’3. My middle name is for a girl.  I have three older brothers, two live at home and one is a lawyer or something I don’t care honestly. My dad is an alcoholic and my mother lives in a special home downtown. I hate people. I hate talking to them, I hate them talking to me, I hate lunchtime, I hate parties and assemblies and pep rallies. It’s all pointless. I don’t need anybody to help me achieve my goals. I can do everything alone. I just hate things in general, kay?

        ��“Are you gonna finish your sandwich?”

Okay, I lied. There is one person.

Quinzel Martinez, 5’7, total math nerd, a hottie from Brazil, and everybody calls him Quinn, and my best friend. He’s the only person who listens to me. The only person who has helped me go through my mother’s sickness.

We’re in the cafeteria and he asks me the same question everyday, and he knows the routine. I take out an extra sandwich I brought just for him.

“You’re the coolest!!” He bites into it and swallows. “Screw being an astronomer, just be a chef. This sandwich is heaven in between two pieces of wheat bread.”

             “It’s whole grain.”

             “Same thing.”

              “No it’s not,” I look up from my college level textbook I took from the box of my moms stuff that was in the attic.

              “Are we gonna argue about this again?” I look back down at my book.

              “If you just admit I’m right then no argument is needed,” he laughs shaking his head continuing to eat. That’s another thing, I’m very stubborn. But he doesn’t get pissed off like other students, or smack me in the head like my brothers. I remember the first time we met in kindergarten, thirteen years ago.

               “My name is Quinzel Rivero Rodriguez Martinez! But please call me Quin,” his brown hair was really short back then and spiky. He had on a shirt with a college name on it that was too big and pants that sagged. His shoes were transformers like mine. When class started he sat next to me.

I had really big glasses that covered almost my whole face and my hair was long. My clothes actually fit, I found out years later  his clothes didn’t fit because his father had to steal them.

                 “I’m...I’m Jamie….” I wasn’t looking at him. Before I resented all other human beings I wanted friends. But I was shy. As the weeks went by in our first two year of school Quin would just talk and talk and talk, and I would just nod or shake my head. We would sit together in class and in lunch and he even came to my house a couple times and I went to his many times. His family loved me, gave me so much attention.    

     Attention I craved, my mother was working most nights, my dad was always drunk, my brothers wouldn’t talk to me unless they were yelling at me. Quinn’s family was so different, they ate meals together and laughed and played games. I remember the first time I made him laugh, in 2nd grade. It was on a beach his family took me too.

            “I love sand, it’s so great,” he had his hands elbow deep in the sand on his stomach. I was making a neat sandcastle. “Do you like sand Jamie?” I wasn’t going to say anything and I could tell he was about to say something else to continue the conversation on his own like always. Until I finally spoke.

            “One time I replaced my brothers protein powder with sand from my sandbox and it broke the blender when he made a smoothie.” He looked at me but I didn’t look up starting to turn red thinking I sounded stupid. Then he started laughing and laughed for a good five minutes. After that day we started having actual conversations. I now feel like I can tell him anything,he’s the only reason I use my phone.

                    Lunch is over and we go into our AP literature and sit next to each other as usual.

                 “Quin, What do you want to do in life?”

                  “Woah hitting me with the big questions today. Why do you ask?”

                  “Because it’s the one thing that doesn’t come out of your big mouth.”

                “Ow...that hurts me Jamie.”

                “Answer the question,” he laughs a bit and leans back in his chair thinking. Unfortunately the bell rang and class started. So I wasn’t going to find out till later.

         If I don’t go home immediately my dad would beat me. I need to be home by 3:30 and school gets out at 3:00 and so I walk home. I go into the house and I sit on the couch. The house was relatively quiet, so dumb and dumber are probably gonna be our late. Dad is in the kitchen drinking. I take out my homework planner and my laptop.

          “You still talking to that homo?”

           “He’s not a homo dad.”

          “He holds you back Jamie. You should be more like your older brother.”

          “Oh so do drugs?”

          “The other one”

          “The one that got his girlfriend pregnant?”

          “Your brother CAMERON!! Stop being smart with me boy!!” I flinched a little, I hated being afraid, my body clenches, I get a knot in my stomach, I starts shaking and just want to curl into a ball. It’s a horrible emotion. “Get your ass in here!! I’m gonna teach you a thing or two.” My brothers hate me, but they always protect me from him. I get up and go into my room closing the door and locking it. I sit against the door on the floor, it was happening again. “JAMIE!! Come. Here.”

My breathing started to quicken. My heart beating so fast and loud I could hear it in my ears. My hands started shaking and tears going down my fast. My phone went off and I pick it up trying to read the message. It’s from Quinn.

“Hey man I never told you what I want to do in life.” I can’t type, I was trying but my dad is still screaming my name. “Jamie???”  I put my phone down, I had to calm down. “Jamie are you okay?”

“Is he doing it again?”

“I need you to respond Jamie.”

“JAMIE” he starts calling me and I barely press the answer button putting the phone to my ear. “Jamie...What’s going on?”

“I-can’t b-breathe.”

“Hey buddy. I’m here it’s okay.”

“T-Tell me about w-what you want to be…”

“Alright...I want to become a professor at Yale. I want to do something that will make a difference but won’t put me in the spotlight. Plus it’s the same place your mom used to do lectures and you’re going there. I got my acceptance letter yesterday.”

“H-Haha...You’ll be able to talk all day perfect for you,” dad had gotten quiet, he probably passed out.

“Exactly, my favorite thing to do...Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” I get up and sit on my bed. “I’m good. Thanks Quinn.’

“No problem. I’m gonna do some homework. But I’ll send you memes.”

“Alright. I’ll do the same. Except no memes.”

“You will get sucked into the tumblr hole.”

“Whatever.” I hang up. I started having panic attacks when my brother Cameron had gone to college when I was nine. Dad was drunk and hit me calling me a loser and saying I needed to be like him. Kyle and Eric stopped him from doing anything too bad but I was emotionally scarred. Quinn has always been there for me, and now that I know we’re going to the same college and will most likely rent an apartment, we’ll be together forever.

[opepin]

nov: week two

13: 5/6 pto day~ it was pretty gloomy outside so i felt a bit gloomy on the inside. kevin went to work and i woke up before he left. i ate another cinnamon raisin english muffin for bfast and then i hopped on my computer to update my tumblr. until i get my new gratitude journal, i am going to continue writing about my day, but i might change it up so that it’s bullet points again. we’ll see. i was pretty productive today. i finally decided on a gratitude journal to try it out and ordered it on amazon. then i chilled and watched some youtube videos and caught up on anime while eating lunch. after lunch, i digested a bit and then hit the gym. i thought i was going to spend it all in the yoga studio but i ended up needing to go to the fitness center so after glute activation exercises, i went across and did sumo squats and deadlifts. my legs felt so weak today. it could have been my form as well because my mind was scattered from going back and forth to the fitness center and yoga studio @_@; i managed to get through all the weighted exercises and then went back to the studio to do a burn out and hip dip exercises. i might have scared off someone in the studio, but i was in the zone so... ahha...

i came back, cooled off and stretched, and then showered and made myself a smoothie. i started prepping dinner and then kevin told me he left the office late so i just made dinner tonight. i made our spicy kale coconut fried rice and it came out pretty good (: i’m so happy with the outcome haha. kevin was also real happy to come home to a hot meal. it was nice. before cooking, i spent some time looking for my chocolate molds. they disappeared somewhere. i don’t know where they are :( i looked in all the small places as well as the storage room and no dice. kevin even looked with me after we ate :( sigh. i’m sad but i hope it will turn up somewhere. we asked the front to check our old apartment to see if we forgot it. i mean, it is transparent right? kevin went for a run after helping me look and i just continued looking until it was time to sleep. i was really bummed so i slept early. lol. 

14: i got up at 7:45 am and then did my 30 minutes of stretching. it was nice and quiet in the morning and i felt like doing something but not cardio or anything of the sort. then i changed and made my smoothie for breakfast, said goodbye to kevin, and left for work. only john and haowei were in the office today. cole was waiting for a furniture delivery so he wasn’t in. mmm the moment i got on the train, i felt really sleepy. when i got into the office, i felt pretty kjsfnbkjsdf. i don’t know if it’s the heating, lack of people, etc. but i wanted to go home asap. there wasn’t much for me to do in the morning so i did some testing. then at around 11:50 pm, i ate my lunch and then packed up and headed to a chinatown market to get a carrot for our slaw tonight. i waited 10+ minutes to buy one carrot for 46 cents because the people in front of me chose to buy soy sauce that wasn’t entered into the system yet -____<” i mean it’s not their fault but the two other lines started moving faster after i was boxed into this line...

i got out and then rushed over to south station to get on my train. i waited 7 minutes for my train because it probably had left before i got to the station :( luckily, i got back at 1 pm and phil didn’t ping me about our meeting until i asked him if he was ready at 1:06 pm. we talked about next steps and upcoming sessions and then he went into a meeting and i continued to work while watching an episode of ‘jane the virgin.’ i got my blender bottle in the mail today! i washed the dishes as soon as i could so i could use it after my workout today. i also got kevin a ‘pre xmas’ gift! i saw that there was a christmas caroling and hot chocolate boat cruise so i got tickets for us because last year, he went on a team outing instead of the jazz cruise i booked for us (i took hillary instead because it made sense and we had funn!). so i thought it would be nice if he actually went this time~ hehe. kevin went climbing so after work, i cut up the carrot and cabbage and let it wilt with salt for about an hour while working out. i felt like doing a few cardio hip hop routines, standing abs, abs on a mat, and then ending everything with hip dip / bodyweight butt exercises. it was a good and fun workout. i finished seasoning the slaw after my workout and used my blender bottle to mix my protein with cashew milk. lol, the lid wasn’t locked in properly so i spilled a bit of my expensive af protein on the rice cooker and counter T___T on the bright side, everything was blended perfectly! tomorrow, i’ll try putting in some honey to see if it will mix well or not.

as i finished up with the slaw, kevin came back. we showered and then toasted burger buns, heated up the leftover pulled chicken, and ate small burgers for dinner. we were still hungry and i got an idea to make “curry buns.” i flattened out one burger bun, put leftover curry inside, sandwiched the curry inside and sealed the bread by pinching the outsides, and then pan fried it in butter. well, i did the stuffing and kevin did the pan frying. if we heated up the curry before pan frying it, i think it would have tasted better but it was fun cooking on the spot with kevin :3 <3 we split one and then i had a bite of kevin’s guava strudel while we watched the latest foodwishes video. we want to make his new soup video as well as his hasselback turkey breast video when we come back from thanksgiving. we cleaned up a little and then beat battleblock theater! omg the last few levels are so hard lmao. the ending was trololol but i think there will be a sequel. it was challenging and fun playing with kevin. :) we half-planned what to get our families for christmas (gift baskets for each of us visiting our families from harry and david). 

then he gamed and i got ready for bed. this night, i was on my phone later than usual because i was chatting with daniel about working out with him when i get back, michelle about daylight savings dahkness, and chewy about us missing each other and i want to see her and i want to visit her so badly but ticket prices are so expensive from coast to coast T__T and then i did the thing where i stayed up on my phone doing nothing productive. if i got a new phone, i think i would spend more time on it, which is bad. lol. my oneplus one is my longest tech relationship with a screen (lol): 3 years and still going strong (well, my phone’s body is chipping).

15: i’ve been working out when i actually feel like it so i didn’t work out this morning and slept in :) i’m getting back to 7 hours of sleep now (more than once or twice a week)! kevin headed out for work and then i made my breakfast smoothie and started work. i’ve been craving warmer foods because it is colder now but my protein won’t taste as good if i put it in oatmeal or something. hmm, maybe i could just blend milk and protein and then eat an english muffin with pb and bananas on it. it’s a bigger breakfast but if it’s hot, i don’t think i would mind at all :) work has been chill this week because it is nearing thanksgiving and things are winding down for now. this day is a bit of a blur for me. i’m not sure what i did. i stayed at my computer for the most part until kevin got back home. i did talk to phil for a bit and then signed off and hurried to get the chicken thighs into the slow cooker. i didn’t realize it would take 4 hours for the slow cooker recipe. so i chopped up onions and garlic, put in the sauces and spices, and turned on the slow cooker. kevin got back early-ish but it he was in a heated argument with jon about sentencing. -___- this debate went on even after i went to sleep...

i snacked on edamame while kevin angrily typed away at his keyboard and waited for him to go to the gym with me. i knew it would take him more time to stop so i just left and did arms and back. i lifted mostly with 8s and 10s and took it slower this session. my arms are pretty flimsy and i still think my form is a bit off. i’m gonna check with daniel when i come back to chicago. after my workout, kevin was still debating. so i forced him to stop and go run and then i showered and added cornstarch to the thighs before it was done cooking 30 minutes later. i was pretty hungry by the time we ate. while kevin showered and cooked celery, i watched the beginning of season 5 of ‘mind of chef’ featuring ludo. lol kevin could see how excited i was and i kept gushing. i have 2-3 favorite chefs: david chang, ludo lefebvre, and christina tosi. i go nuts when i watch documentaries about them. lol. i now want to go to LA just to try all of ludo’s restaurants. instead of opening a big fancy restaurant, he went for a bit grungier strip malls in LA, which is fascinating. lol ok i’ll stop fangirling. we managed to get in a few games of helldivers before i rq’d and went to sleep because kevin would not stop debating with jon. i slept pretty late at 1 am (my phone dammit). i wrote in my gratitude journal that i just got as well. i want to think more positively. i think after this week, i’m going to stop updating my tumblr for a bit and just write in my gratitude journal.

16: i got up to go to work but after eating breakfast and changing my outfit twice, i really didn’t feel like going. so i changed back into my sleep clothes and worked from home. when it rains and looks gloomy and i’m not sure if my team is in the office, it makes me want to stay home. kevin got out of bed a bit later than usual so he went to work straight away. then i did a bit of work and phil pinged me with a new thing to do so i hopped on that. i worked on that until lunch time. then i ate lunch while watching youtube videos and downloading videos and movies to watch on my flight tuesday morning to chicagooo. after lunch, i anxiously waited for the eggie season ii drop. when it happened, i got a password screen and then all the items slowly came loading in. tbh, i wasn’t impressed :( mindy and i looked at the same time and she said she kind wanted the blur tee and i kind of wanted the oo dang long sleeve but $7 shipping is not worth for two shirts that are a bit pricey. we decided to wait for the next drop and bundle the shirts later. yeah, i had really high expectations. the season is inspired by the 2000s fashion, which i’m not a huge fan of, so maybe that’s why?

after that anti-climatic moment, daniel talked me into trying to bypass the $20 guest pass fee for his gym by live chatting someone for a free pass on his gym’s website. what he didn’t tell me is that they would call me and ask more and try to sell me their membership... man, i can’t lie. i feel so bad about it. :( i’m not gonna pick up sigh. i feel guilty for lying. anyway, i hopped on stand up and finished with the assignment phil gave me. the stand up took longer than i expected but after, i took a break to do some internet errands and stretches while watching more mind of the chef ft. ludo <3 after work, i made rice and chicken thighs for dinner. kevin came home and he made some chinese broccoli. hm i think today, i was feeling pretty moody. i watched some anime probably and some youtube videos while walking around the apartment. kevin went ahead and gamed with the guys. i think it was a pretty typical evening for us. we watched more ludo <3 while eating dinner and i continued watching after. hehe. i love this season.

17: today, i had a stressful day because of work. i didn’t work out in the morning but i ate my breakfast and then asked phil some questions and at the end of the conversation, i felt overwhelmed with the amount of videos i had to remake because of our monthly releases... so right after our talk, i hit the yoga studio. i started out with kickboxing with weights and then into hiit and a bit of legs. i ended up working out for over an hour. then i went back, drank a protein smoothie, showered, and ate lunch. i tried starting on my massive pile of work by figuring out how to streamline this process so that this won’t happen again. i like doing video tutorials but not when i am told i have to redo all the ones i’ve done because of small navigational changes... so i googled, researched, thought, brainstormed, etc about ways i can make this process easier for me and maybe for someone else in the future. i did this for a while alone until i decided to ask winston, kevin, and vivian for their ideas. winston actually video chatted with me for a while and it was nice catching up with him even though no solid solution came up. vivian gave me her best answer, which was plausible but not in the long run. kevin came back home and gave me two interesting ideas, but in the end, i had it in my mind that i had to remake all of them. oh well. it was the end of a week, so i set my mind to rest.

kevin brought me back sliders from his friday happy hour and we ate that while playing pokemon ultra sun and moon! i could have not worked a bit more and started playing but i wanted to start with kevin. we played a bit and then kevin went out for a run and then for dinner, reheated some broth to make korean rice cake soup. we watched ‘mind of a chef’ until i realized, that ludo’s season was only half of the season’s episodes... i forgot that this is how it was laid out after david chang in season 1. so we started watching the ‘best of’ episodes while eating. we ate the rest of our pomelo for dessert. we gamed for the rest of the night happily. we obviously, stayed up and gamed lol.

18: oh yes, we woke up late and we played pokemon in bed until we got hungry. then we decided to be responsible and went to do a quick grocery run. we just got edamame and bananas from bj’s because that’s what i eat on a daily basis lol. we got some ingredients to make caldo verde with the leftover kale in our fridge as well. kevin got me a slice of chocolate cake and some dark chocolate because i’ve been craving it like crazy. i know it’s going to be my time of month when i have a craving for rich dense chocolate cake lol. we also picked up chocolate covered wavy lays chips -- it’s a no. i ate it all but i would not buy again. lol. i would suggest getting ferrero roche instead. well, we got back and kevin felt like going climbing. i think we put everything away and then played more pokemon for a bit and then kevin went out. i tidied up a bit and got myself in the mood for working out. i wasn’t sure what i was going to do but i went to the yoga studio anyway. there was a girl facetiming someone in there... i felt awkward but i just did my thang in the corner while she did that. i don’t think she meant to go into the yoga studio for just that purpose because i heard her saying that he was interrupting her workout session. she left like 10 minutes after i started working out lmao.

i did full body strength today because i won’t have access to weights for most of next week. it was a good workout! i got back, made myself a smoothie, cut the potatoes and onion, and then washed some dishes. kevin got back, we showered, and he got to cooking caldo verde. i was pretty munchy at this point so i kept picking off the sausages lol. the soup turned out delicious! i think we ended up playing pokemon for the rest of the night. well, at least i did. i think kevin stopped and played hots before going to sleep. zzz.

19: today will be the last post before my gratitude journal break. we were bums again :P we played pokemon in the morning and then i was getting cramps and feeling out of it. i think we kept gaming for a while... ryan asked us if we wanted to game with him and terence and we ended up playing gauntlet together. after that, i started cleaning to be productive. at some point, i think kevin went for a run and then i worked out as well. we showered and then kevin made us fried rice with leftovers for dinner. after dinner, we digested a bit and then... hmm, maybe we ate then digested and then worked out, showered, and then cleaned the kitchen. lol. i am updating this on the 21st (when i stayed up to catch my flight to chicago) so i’m a bit out of it and 3 days ago is a lot @_@; anyway, it ended up being a really productive night. we cleaned everything and i got to rest a bit with my cramping and stuff. i tried going to sleep a bit earlier than we’ve been going to sleep because i needed to check in for southwest and get up to see the gymshark sales as well as take a call from kristen. yup. it didn’t feel like tomorrow was going to be a start to a new week aka work. i loved the way we spent this weekend just chilling and enjoying each other’s company. :)

20/21: okay, so that’ll be it for a bit. yesterday and today has been crazy. we spent monday working. i actually came up with a great game plan for the videos currently and worked a bit longer than i expected to -- i was on a grind though! we gamed together after eating dinner and when we left, we thought we had everything down, but when i got to chicago, i realized we didn’t take out the garbage... so i hope i don’t see a million fruit flies when i come back T__T i’m a bit worried but we’ll see! anyway, i stayed up yesterday because kevin’s flight to china left at 1 am and i wanted to go to the airport with him even though my flight left at 5 am. so after he went through security, i headed back to my terminal, brushed my teeth, and found a place to charge my phone. i started watching ‘psycho pass’ and i did stay up for the entire aiport process. i ko’d when i got on the plane. now it’s 10 pm and i am getting a bit sleepy. not sure if i want to do 10-15 minutes of abs anymore and/or play pokemon. i’m kind of ready to sleep. well, talk to you later, tumblr! thanks for being there for me and helping me document my life from sophomore year of high school until a year / two years after college graduation. it’s been real. i’ll be back in some way! <3

[bloodredcloakblackfur]

Mr. Greasy Wolf

Red here again. So ever take a nice walk and suddenly you think I’m hungry.  You can always take from your basket knowing there’s fresh bread, good meat and something sweet to drink but then you smell it. That tantalizing smell of fat and grease. That mouthwatering taste that comes with it and you look about following it even though it takes you away from your path and you don’t think twice about the basket and the food within that you made sure to have to prevent yourself from the temptation.

However as you try to turn and find you way back you find yourself facing a Wolf..and not a handsome one either. This one is clearly not one who wants your love. No he wants whatever you’ll offer in exchange for the food you smell cooking on the little cart he has. Ignoring the smell is so hard and hearing your stomach growl makes you realize how hungry you are but all the good things..they don’t hold appeal anymore.

The Greasy Wolf just smiles and you want to smile back despite the fact you need to turn away. You start to turn but something in you can’t and you wonder over just to look and smell. The Wolf’s smile getting wider and wider as he knows this game and he’s played it well for years.

Sadly often we fall into this trap. I’m guilty of it. More than I care to admit and you know why? It’s easy, it’s fast and often cheap. However it also leaves me with the feeling that I’m easy, fast and cheap. I’m none of these things but still.

One of these traps that are so easy to fall into is shopping when hungry. Yeah not a smart idea if you have to go shopping because there is no food in the house..well nothing to make a meal out of. Do a few things first.

First things first drink a glass of cold water. Yes there is a reason for this. Sometimes your body isn’t really hungry. It’s just boredom or you’re dehydrated. I’m guilty of not drinking enough water which sucks but hey it happens. However this is also a trick I’ve realized actually works. A few times I thought I was hungry and then just went and drank some water. Wait a few minutes, try to wait five, if you’re still feeling hungry then that is your signal you are hungry.

Infused waters are also a good idea here as sometimes the taste will defuse the hunger and you’re getting good nutrients into your body.

My doctor once told me it takes the body five to ten minutes to tell you that you are full. That’s why people often over eat. By the time our body gets the signal going that we are full..well we’ve already over eaten and we feel sick from being too full or just feel plan miserable.

Here’s the second idea have a small snack, because some hunger pains are just that. A piece of fruit, maybe a handful of nuts ( I love almonds unsalted and plain). A hand full of baby carrots, a few slices of cucumbers are good too. It’s up to you. It won’t fill you up but  it will prevent you from getting distracted from shopping by hunger pains.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve made bad decisions while being distracted by my hunger. I’d go in and suddenly smell chicken cooking in the deli or something baking in the bakery and well there goes my brain being overrode by my stomach. Also bad habit of mine to stop by fast food before and after shopping, it’s easy but it’s unhealthy. Mostly because if you’re like me you buy a lot of food at once and by the time you’re done you don’t have the energy or the will power to cook.

If you have a cheat day, the day you do the shopping might be it if you find yourself falling into this habit. Just make sure you have the time to digest after you eat if you go get a meal before otherwise those hunger pains that are still going before your body realizes your full can fuel the bad choices.

Third idea and I consider an important step: MAKE A LIST! And set a spending limit

Honestly impulse buys happen because we don’t have a structured idea of what we are getting. However there are some people who can just walk in and get what they need and walk out. I am not one of those people. I need that damn list or I end up with twenty more items when I only came in for two.

Sometimes it’s okay to add somethings to the list. Sometimes.

Like you came in for some fresh strawberries and you see that blueberries are also on sale and while you don’t need them just yet you know that you will need more soon. I advise you only do this after you’ve gotten everything on your list and you haven’t exceeded your spending limit.

Now I’m not the best person at math so I tend to round up.  Say I grabbed four cans of coconut water for a $1.50. I’ll round that up to two dollars. Yes that means I may make my limit number show up quicker but it prevents me from thinking well I should have so much extra I can afford that. Only to find I spent more than I meant to. If you are better at math you might not need to do that or you might use a calculator. I do sometimes if I know there is something else I want for a treat but if  I already planned that treat then it should be in my budget before I get there.

Just try and remember that Greasy Wolf I talked about. He tends to lurk where you least expect it.

I always go down every aisle in the supermarket. Force of habit and also as I stated before I am bipolar. I also have a form of ADHD and OCD.

Despite having a list I’ll end up spending four hours in the market if I don’t have somewhere to be and I don’t go row by row. Once my list is done and I know I have extra money to use, I may go back to certain items I saw all sale. Like the blueberries I talked about before.

However like I said that Greasy Wolf sometimes finds me. He maybe there with the free samples or that two for one sale on frozen pizzas. Soda is a big weakness of mine, I have a taste for diet soda. Gross to most people but it was the only kind that was kept in the house growing up and so that’s what I drink when I get it. I’m working on cutting the habit. Not doing so well but still an effort is better than no effort at all.

Planning your meals out for a week or two is also a good thing but if you work 40+ hours a week. It’s not always easy to sit down and do that. I try it believe me I do but doesn’t always work that day. Also despite planning a meal I may not crave whatever it is I planned for that day or if I’m not feeling good I have no energy to cook it. I try to pre-make a few things on my days off (despite them being few and far between sometimes). Also giving yourself the choice to make this or that on one day may help.

Example here is I planned one night cooking myself a nice big  pot of pasta with sauce and eating my fill and putting the rest up to take for lunch during the week. However the evening I planned for didn’t work out. I ended up pulling an extra shift for work and just didn’t have the energy to bother lugging everything out. So that’s where meal plan B came into effect. You’ve probally heard of green shakes and homemade health food shakes. Well I like them. It’s easy to dump into the blender and just go. You probally think nope that’s not easy still have to gather everything. Well that’s where the pre planning things come into effect with me.

There are plenty of ideas on shakes and how to preset them up or store them. I normally only end up making five premade bags and keeping them in the freezer. Takes me only a minute to walk over to the fridge get one out of the freezer and dump it into the blender and add either water, coconut water, or almond milk to it and turn it on. Less than five minutes I have my meal ready to go. My blender isn’t one of those fancy ones it’s a simple one and easy to just rinse and clean out after I pour my drink into a cup. So little mess and fuss.

But still those nights are also the night that Greasy Wolf is sitting there telling me about all the yummy foods I’m missing out on. How it takes less effort to get into a car or go through a drive through and have someone else make my food. It’s fast, easy and cheap.

I stated before when I hear him say that I think that’s what he thinks of me.

Sorry Greasy Wolf. This Woman in the Red Hood is not fast, easy or cheap. Take a hike and don’t come back.