#which might be in the morning but will def be at some point this week

[mimic-of-hysy]

cant wait to get (lovingly) cursed out by ok next time she asks about my life

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi! need some reassurance here. Am i the only one who is sad because we don’t know if we are gonna to see Michael and David working together again? Between the strike (which I totally support) and amazon not renewing GO, nothing is certain right now. I just miss them, i miss the interviews and i need new content. Note aside, I really don’t like the personal content that GT is posting on IG, like the video of David at the festival. Maybe it’s because I’m still new to the fandom and I’m not British, so i’ve a very different kind of humor, but her content somehow irk me… I don’t know. And don’t let me start talking about AL: she seems so phony and rude and i get nothing but bad vibes from her. Why does she always mock Michael’s appearance? I know, it’s none of my business 😅 So yeah… sorry about the rant!

Hi there! Grouping these together, since I'm a bit overdue in addressing some of this.

So as of this writing, the WGA strike has been resolved (hooray!) and the writers are back to work (including Neil, whom I believe is returning to writing GO season 3). SAG-AFTRA (of which Michael and David are both members) is continuing its strike, however, but hopefully it will also be resolved soon.

That said, I am definitely with you in feeling sad about not knowing when Michael and David will work together again. I believe the renewal for S3 is still pending, so it is indeed a time of uncertainty. My hope is that if/when the SAG strike is resolved, we might perhaps get some interviews with Michael and David that we otherwise were unable to get when GO 2 first came out. It may be too late to promote the season, of course, but we have to remember that earlier this year, Michael was popping up on nearly all of David's TV appearances (The Last Leg, Have I Got News For You), so even if a formal project isn't currently in the works, it hopefully won't be too long before we have the chance to see them together again.

To the rest of your Ask and @phantomstars24's, I've had multiple people asking me about what happened with Anna and her being called out, so for those who might've missed it, what occurred was that two weeks ago, someone left a comment on one of AL's Insta posts (the one with the photos from the "family holiday" in Sweden the weekend prior) calling her out for her repeated comments about Michael's appearance over the last few years:

Several comments from people defending AL/attacking the commenter followed these, and the next morning, she responded with this comment (not on the chain of already existing comments, but separately):

My initial impression was to be surprised that she responded at all. If the callout commenter's words truly meant nothing and weren't worth responding to, why say anything? But AL chose to reply, and that was her decision, so here we are. What is strange to me, though, is that she also chose to flat-out lie about something easily provable, given that her comments about Michael's appearance have all been well-documented on her Insta and Twitter over the past three years.

The second thought that came to mind is that this seemed like another attempt on her part at being Georgia--i.e., wanting/trying to give a witty "clapback" to a criticism. Instead, her comment comes across as insecure and insincere, with "magnificent hair growth" being a particularly egregious example of laying it on thick (who even talks like that? No one talks like that.). I was truly surprised to realize this comment was written by an almost 30-year-old woman, as it reads more like a teenager having a fit--though in fairness, there are plenty of teenagers who are far more mature than this.

There is also the notion that we are or somehow should be jealous of the "banter" in her and Michael's relationship, except that this misses two key points. One, that it's one thing for Michael to be self-deprecating about his looks--and that even if he is, it doesn't mean he doesn't feel hurt and is therefore possibly making those comments as a deflection--but it's something else entirely for her to make them. It speaks volumes about her character that she would see/hear him saying these things about himself and instead of wondering if he is okay, decides that it gives her the go-ahead to add to it and snark about his appearance. So many of us have felt self-conscious about our looks at one time or another, but without any response from him, it comes across less like "mutual banter" and more like "one person progressively making passive-aggressive cutting comments over time about the other." Which brings us to the second key point, which is that "in-jokes" are only funny to the people who are in on them, and similarly, banter is only mutual if we are able to see his end of it. The problem is, we never do. Michael does not interact with her on social media (even from his "private account," which many of us have known about for years, as he used to use it to interact with Kate, Sarah, and Lily all the time, yet he doesn't use it to interact with AL, for some reason).

Curiously, this would have been a perfect moment for Michael to do exactly that, or to say something on Twitter in her defense. Of course it is entirely possible that he felt he didn't need to say anything--which is his prerogative, just as it was AL's prerogative to respond. But it's quite interesting to realize that at the same exact time AL wrote that comment, Michael was on Twitter talking about touching David's chest and referring to him as the Thin Dark Duke, and then kept tweeting about GO fandom stuff for the next three hours. Choices.

All this to say that, in my opinion, there was nothing genuine or graceful about AL's comment. And again, you could say well sure, she felt attacked, so there was no obligation to stand on ceremony or mince words. It's just interesting that her comment went in the direction of defensive and sarcastic instead of saying something like, "Michael and I love each other and can handle a bit of teasing." And I truly do hope Michael's fans who rushed to her defense take a step back and realize that she is not a nice person. This is not how a nice person, regardless of who they are dating, talks to other human beings. And she will never reply to them or thank them for doing so because to her, they are a means to an end.

In any case, there was a recap of the callout/clapback situation with AL, for anyone who missed it. To your comments @nightingalecottage, please do not apologize for ranting. As I've said before, I want my blog to be somewhere folks can have these discussions calmly and civilly, and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to message me with your thoughts. And as always, I'm very aware that I could be wrong about all of this, so I urge folks to read what is here and decide for themselves. Thanks for writing in! x

[ask-commander-arild]

what was it like for you when you were first taken from your home and forced to work for the pigmasks? did they threaten you to join? im sorry, either way it must have been a hard time for you.

It... was very hard. It still is. I don't like to talk about it very much, but... I feel like if I don't get it out at some point, I might just explode. So, well... where do I even start..?

When I was 11 years old, just weeks before my 12th birthday, I... hmmm... I got up one morning, got dressed, got my backpack, got breakfast, and watched some tv. It was the same as every morning. The only difference... before I left, I... got into an argument, with my mamma. It's been so long now, I don't even remember why, but I can imagine I probably did something stupid. We both said some pretty... not great things to each other, and then I slammed the door and left in a huff. I didn't care what the consequences would be once I got home, that was a problem for future me, I was just going to go to school and worry about it later. But, then...

I was on my way to the bus stop... and I... it happened so fast, I didn't even have any time to react. There were three of them, they grabbed me and... it was a blur after that. Next thing I remember, I was in a place surrounded by men in lab coats and strange uniforms, and they explained who they were (which, you already know, evidently), and I... may have punched a few people out of fear. Unfortunately, one boy vs a group of trained soldiers doesn't exactly end well... After that, I... don't know... I remember being approached by a caped soldier in a white uniform. He said something like "Y'know kid, we could really use someone with that kinda attitude. A little discipline and I think you'll make a fine addition around here." or.. something along those lines...

The thought of that terrified me. I didn't want to join them, I didn't even want to be there. I just wanted to go home to my family. I tried refusing, but... they gave me two choices. Either join their ranks and become a soldier, or be brainwashed and made to forget everything. I feel stupid for it now, but... well, obviously, you know what I chose. Thus, I've spent the past few years right here, in the army, and as much as I wish I could say I've hated it, I really don't know if I'd have it any other way. Overall, the army has done some terrible things, and I have always hated that, but on the other hand, getting to know my brothers in arms and making such a deep connection with them has been one of the best experiences in my life. Even still....

From the moment I was taken, I have missed my family desperately. Letting my lillesøster play with my toys, even if I found her annoying. Playing games with my storebror, even if he found me annoying. Going fishing and camping with my pappa, even if I was a little afraid of him, haha. And my mamma... jeg savner henne så mye... As much as I've enjoyed the past few years, there's nothing I want more than to be in her arms again. But, even if I can go back now, would she... even want to see me? After the things I said to her? Does she even care that I'm gone now? What if she's happier now that she never has to see me again? I don't think I could ever go back and face her again. Especially now, being a chimera. What would she say if she saw me? She'd probably see me as some kind of monster. I can't go back...

Thanks for the question, friend...

(ooc: Ooooo, boy, this one was tough to write, in more ways than one. I teared up more than a couple times writing, tbh. I did have a lot of fun writing it, though. Even still, I'm not the most proud of it. I def think I could do better, but oh well. Also, this post has a lot of Norwegian, and thus a lot of google translate. I have no idea if it's grammatically correct, but I just hope it gets the point across. If anyone who's Norwegian somehow finds this blog, HELPPPP. Anywho, sorry for the long read, y'all. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for the ask, Hal Pinkalliums!!)

[blarrghe]

Shop talk! I know you're currently doing the whole writing and posting thing differently than before - like the whole thing is written, you're just editing and posting once a week. So what do you think of that? Do you prefer it over how you worked previously? Does it depend on the fic??

And how much editing are we talking? Both in terms of words changed as well as time spent on it? Do you do editing the next chapter for a whole week? Are you constantly editing all upcoming chapters??

Thanks for the ask! I love talking about this stuff :) Sorry for the obscenely long answer.

So it's the first time I've done that, and now that I'm in the posting part I am liking it a lot. I like the structure, I look forward to Wednesdays, I feel like I gathered a little bit of an audience that is there weekly with me as well, which is nice for everyone. I don't know if it makes any difference to people in terms of engagement if they hear that its completed in advance or see it posting regularly, but idk if it was me as a reader I would appreciate the regularity so I hope people do. At least one person has told me they're waiting to read it until it's finished/waited to start until it was over half posted, idk if I'll suddenly get new readers when its up in full or what but I def understand that. But yeah! The posting weekly thing has been nice. It feels productive even if I actually don't do a ton of writing every week.

Actually writing the thing took like two years though, specifically because there was absolutely no gratification to it haha. I didn't really even post wip snippets or talk about it much, because I wanted to keep my secrets. I was writing either Matchsies or A Complicated Match still when I had the idea and started plotting, so part of it taking so long is also that I was dividing my attention, and devoting more of it to the ongoing stuff I was actually posting. But I started this fic with the intention of letting it be a slow side-burner project so that I could make it "really good" by the time it went up. And that was a good call, because I did a lot of re-writes and re-structuring to elements of it, especially some of the early chapters, when I got further into the plot. To be clear, it's had the same outline all along, but there were connecting details that didn't work, like logistical travel time things that would have been glaringly annoying if I'd posted the first drafts of the first few chapters before writing the later ones. Also I re-vamped Sylvanna's character really early on into a more major role. She wasn't originally a bodyguard! Or really a main element of the story at all. Absolution came out at some point and I got Ideas.

Anyway, a lot of the editing that went into the fic before I started posting was pretty major, but by the time I was ready to actually start posting everything was much more concrete. I tend to edit the next chapter in the days before it goes up, and right before posting, mainly just for little details. But I try to give myself some distance and not overdo the constant editing so that when I do look at it right before posting I have some fresher eyes, right now I haven't looked at the next chapter (lying, I read it last night, but not from an EDITOR standpoint) in a couple weeks and I plan to put on editor glasses tomorrow morning before I post it. A big part of the editing that is ongoing is for how the prose reads, like I might come up with some gorgeous metaphor or re-do how a scene is described but keep the content the same. You get better all the time as a writer, so it's just about getting the Good Copy as Good as I can before it goes up. Every now and then I have a genius thought and go stick it in where it fits. Every now and then I also delete stuff or have a genius thought that doesn't actually fit and stick it in "CUT CONTENT" on the bottom of the doc. There's some Taren-perspective Bher stuff in there that didn't work with how I structured Ch. 20, for example. I was thinking for a sec I'd re-write that whole chapter and do a flashback chapter for him but it did not suit the flow at all and I only got a couple paragraphs in and then just... added like two lines of Taren Thoughts to get the point across instead haha. I also cut a couple chapters in half but didn't change them (19 and 20 are an example, which is also why a ch. 20 rewrite did not work.)

The most major edits I've made have been to the last two chapters, mainly to add in a few new ideas I had or to tie up loose ends I realised I was still leaving. I haven't majorly changed any of what was going to happen, it's more just me trying to really nail those last chapters. I am also constantly re-reading it in full (sometimes making minor tweaks to names in the narration ;) and also boring stuff like punctuation). I'll post a chapter and immediately get excited for the next one and go read from that point to the end...

There's also a "secret" epilogue that I wrote, really liked, and then cannibalized and entirely re-wrote like, yesterday. I wasn't initially sure I'd even post it but now I definitely will. So stay tuned for that ;)

[elminx]

Random April Planty Update

Success - we hit 70° yesterday! Spring is finally here to stay! And my plants know it.

Let's start with indoor stuff first: all of my faster-growing plants are actively growing, giving me so much life! I have been pretty on top of my spring repotting, so only a few are left. I'm dreading tackling the giant chewed-up spider plant (my cat's favorite chew toy) because it will need a ton of soil. I've also decided to combine my neon pothos with my biggest basket of golden because I'm running out of windows to hang plants in. My partner's strange coleus plant def needs an up pot and my two newest babies will need repotting in a couple of weeks.

I've been contemplating the transfer to outside - I want to use the front (covered) porch for my more delicate plants since we get some crazy wind here. The porch gets excellent morning light (likely the best light in the house since the west face is obscured by a line of trees and my neighbor's garage).

We took our Fuschia plant out of deep storage (see also: overwintering in our attic) and now it's out on the porch acclimating.

I think it could go in the ground now - nighttime temps for the next week don't drop below the low 40s so I suspect our threat of frost SHOULD be passed. (it did frost in the third week of May elsewhere in my town but we're at the low point in the valley so it didn't here). We got reclassified as 5a from 5b so the times (and temperatures) are changing.

My garden is awake now, too. The crocus have come and gone and the daylilies, bearded iris, and peonies are all making themselves known. My Rose bush will have full leaves by the end of today. I can see that the parsley survived the winter which is a lovely surprise and I am seeing my Rue and Sage bushes come back to life as well.

I want to get in there and dig and clean out last season's stalks but, not yet. The temps haven't been consistent enough for the natives that might be overwintered there.

Soon though...soon.

[cookstorys]

Xavier Thorpe x Male reader

Angst to fluff typa thing where xavier and m/n get into an argument which leads to M/N leaving and talking a walk in the dark woods (its night out) but m/n gets attacked by the hyde pretty badly and leaves him there in the forest (his legs are hurt pretty badly) and hes left there until the morning when xavier finds him unconscious while out on a run. It ends with m/n waking up and with fluff and xavier constantly apologizing to him :D

𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜

_____________

Character- Xavier Thorpe

Show/Movie- Wednesday

Warning- Sad, Mentions of an attack and blood!, Language

Author Note- Loved this request, def didn’t lowkey cry making this 😹, also added my lil spice to it hope you don’t mind 🫶🏾

Females dni

_____________

“Are you serious right now? Me and Ajax?!” You yelled. At this point, it was just ridiculous. Lately, Xavier has been very jealous and clingy. At first, you saw the behavior as kinda cute but then he started going too far. He was practically suffocating you in his love and not in a good way. However, today he accused you of something extremely surprising.

“Yes, Ajax! Did you think I wouldn’t recognize the way you look at him?!” Xavier sounded ridiculous. You couldn’t contain your laugh any longer. He had to be joking right? You kept laughing at this until you saw his stone-cold face. “Oh my god, your serious.” You stopped.

“Very. The sexual tension you two have been radiating for a week is insane.” You couldn’t help but scoff at this. Xavier was being serious, extremely. “I’m not doing this right now.” You walked towards his bed to grab your stuff. “[Name] you’re not leaving in the middle of an argument. You have no right. Where are you even going.” Xavier threw his arms up in defeat. “I don’t know. Might go fuck Ajax, who knows?!” You yelled back and slammed the door.

_________The Woods__________

You walked along the old trails of the woods. The sun lowered itself into the sky. Your music was blasting at full volume. How could Xavier even think you could cheat on him? Especially with Ajax, your best friend, out of all people. The sound of leaves rustling behind brought you out of your thoughts. You looked behind you and saw nothing so just ignored it.

You kept to the trail until you felt someone following you. You walked a little faster towards nevermore. Then you heard a deep growl come behind you. You didn’t want to ask questions so you took off running toward the woods. Your vampire speed came in handy. You stopped at a small river stream obviously out of breath. Then, you heard the sound of a few twigs breaking.

You pushed out your fangs, ready to fight. You saw the beast coming full speed at you. Luckily you were fast enough to dodge the hit. You could’ve run away (and now looking back you should’ve) but you needed to blow off some steam and what’s a better way of doing that than kicking a monster’s ass?

You dodged another hit of the monster’s claws not excepting it to use its other to slash your leg. “FUCK!” You screamed as your body hit the ground. Your fingers brushed against the open slash on your thighs. Why weren’t you healing? You should’ve been healed by now. The monster’s claws were rushing toward your face next but you dodged it. You jumped on its back clinging to it. You released your fangs into its neck. It let out a loud growl, grabbed you by the neck, and threw you towards a tree, hitting your back. “Fuck.” You whined.

The sharp pain from both attacks sent a shock through your body. You couldn’t keep fighting, hell you could barely even walk. The monster walked towards you, grabbing you by the neck and pushing you against the tree. Your leg ached for medical attention and your back screamed for the nice feel of You and Xavier’s bed. Xavier. Oh no, you were going to die with your last words to Xavier being about fucking your best friend. Your mind flashed to images of Xavier being the one to stumble upon your lifeless body. The thought of it sent a tear running down your face. You couldn’t die yet, not now at least.

You took hold of the monster's arm making sure to tighten your grip around it. Than pushed its claw away from your bruised neck. A new fire erupted inside of you. You used your one good leg to kick it across the small stream. It dropped you to the ground with a loud thud, you gasped for air. You looked towards it to see it was running the opposite way. You let out a laugh mixed with happiness and relief. Then the pain shocked back thru your body. You lay on your back staring at the night sky. Life was slowly fading out of you and all you could think about was Xavier. His smile, his hair, his adorable small dimples that showed up when he smiled, and his drawings.

You smiled as all the beautiful memories you made with him flashed thru your brain. Your hands found their way to the necklace you both share. Smiling as your eyes gave into the darkness.

__________________

Your eyes slowly opened to the bright sun rays aiming straight toward you. You looked around to take in your surroundings. Then made an abrupt stop when the aching of your head got a little too harsh. You heard the door open and looked up to see Xavier. He looked like he hadn’t slept in hours, and his hair was a mess. He even looked like he was crying.

Xavier's facial expression softened at the sight of you being up. He dropped his newly bought chips and tackled you in a hug. “I swear I’m never arguing with you again. I’m so sorry, I thought I lost you. I’m so sorry baby.” He cried. You slowly hugged him back. You both stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. “I love you, Xavier.” He smiled. That was your first time saying I love you. “I love you too.” You smiled and kissed him but stopped when there was a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Tyler apologized as he sat his get-well-soon balloons with the others. “How are you feeling?” He asked. Tyler was a close friend/coworker of yours so you appreciate the caring act. “Thank you.” Tyler nodded his head. “Oh also here’s a cup of coffee. I thought you’ll probably want one.” You laughed at the thought since you were craving coffee. “Thank- fuck.” You cussed as the Frappé slipped from your hands. “I’ll go get the janitor.” Xavier stood from his seat and walked out.

Tyler went into the bathroom in your room to get some napkins. As he went to clean up the mess you recognize the two bite marks on his neck. “Tyler how’d you get those?” You asked as you reached out to touch it. He quickly took a step back and covered them. “Some kid threw something at me.” He answered. You gave him a suspicious look but before you could ask him a question Xavier walked in. “No janitor so I guess we have to clean it ourselves.” He said. Tyler looked between the two guys. “I have an early shift gotta go. I’m happy your okay [name].” He smiled but it seemed wicked.

“You ok [name]?” Xavier asked. You quickly responded with a head shake. “Of course.”

[twobigears]

2023 New Year Goals and Reviews and Stuff

I usually do goal and review posts every year just like everyone else, but if I did this for 2022 I sure can’t find it. Maybe I was too lazy, which would surprise no one.

2022

This felt like a fairly chill year overall, which is probably a good thing.

We did some hiking and camping. As always, we could have done more.

Chandra made good progress in her iliospoas rehab that started at the end of 2021 (def a reason we didn’t hike as much, especially in the first half of the year). She is cautiously returning to agility and we’ll see how that goes.

Chandra did some more obedience training and also made good progress there. We didn’t trial other than some at-home WRCL runs.

Blizzard really picked up her agility trialing! She had her first full year of trialing after a slow start largely due to covid.

Between virtual runs and real trials, Blizzard made her way up to Masters in USDAA and Level 5 in CPE. She earned her MPD (Masters level title in USDAA) and is about halfway to her PDCH (championship title)

I finished 3/4 of my schooling for my GIS certificate and transition away from dog training to a new career. There is still a lot of anxiety going on with that, but the mental relief of getting away from agility-as-a-job has been soooo worth it.

I put more effort into self-improvement mentally and physically! After years of yo-yoing and steadily creeping weight gain, I revamped habits, made better choices, and lost about 25lbs. I admit this came after hitting a mental low point (and high weight point) early in the year when I was sitting in a hotel room eating grocery store chocolate cake with my fingers because I ‘needed’ it. The cake wasn’t even that good.

I also reined in my internet and social media habits, especially Facebook as recently mentioned. But also things like not scrolling my phone in bed at night, and not checking it first thing in the morning either. I think a lot of people these days have some sort of social media addiction, or at least way too much there, and Facebook was mine. For a long time I knew how bad it was making me feel for a hundred different reasons, but it was still a struggle to quit or cut back. I finally managed it in the last couple months of 2022 and I really do feel soooo much better just ignoring my friends feed and going on primarily to check some hobby groups. It is so much easier to spend less than 5-10 minutes a day there versus the hours I used to spend. Unfortunately I’ve kind of replaced the FB addiction with a Reddit addiction, which is something to work on in 2023....

I got myself spayed and off of hormonal birth control! It’s only been about five weeks but I can already feel the mental benefits and I’m so glad I did it. Only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I look forward to seeing how my brain and body continue to change and hopefully for the better. HBC is great for so many reasons (esp the No Babies part, so I have no regrets for that), but it’s also got shitty baggage.

Seems like a lot of 2022 was about me, which was probably more than a little overdue. As they say, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. ~self care~ and all that!

What’s up for 2023?

Continue monitoring Chandra’s rehab and see how it goes and how she does with some agility again. I have a pipe dream goal of finishing her PDCH (she needs 8 Qs, even less than Blizzard) but I don’t want to be selfish about it. So we’ll see.

Obedience...idk. We’ll keep doing some training but at this point I’m not sure about trialing. The obedience community really does it make hard to love. Maybe later on I’ll feel interested again. I don’t want to regret not doing it, like I regret not finishing Ryker’s CD before he died.

Blizzard, I would love to finish her PDCH! It might be tough to do given the lack of USDAA trials here but I think it is still a possibility.

At this point I’ve put thoughts of Next Dog on hold for a while again. I’m currently enjoying the two dog life, backing away from dog sports again, and doing more non-dog things (even though a lot of it still involves them anyway, like hiking and camping). Plus with us likely moving, me hopefully getting a new job, I think it’s good to just not add another dog to the mix until all that has settled. I won’t say Next Dog is totally out of the question for 2023, but right now it’s unlikely and not something I’m planning to actively pursue.

At some point this year we’re planning to move to Minnesota. No specific timeline yet, but probably summer-ish. It will be incredibly sad to leave Colorado...

I’ll finish school this spring, hopefully find a real adult job in that field (yay..) and not have this schooling be for nothing.

Continue reinforcing and improving my habits for mental and physical health. I’ve been considering getting into bouldering for something different in the physical activity realm, so I’ll probably check that out. Plus the usual hiking and camping. Gotta get out and see some places before we leave! Then have new places to check out when we move.

Hmmm yeah I think that’s it so far. 😂

[zeawesomebirdie]

I hope I can still send you asks and you can answer them? Just to say that I'm trying to do the Snarry rec list but my memory is SO BAD lol there are a few I know have to go on there but otherwise? I'm going to have to reread so much fic..... Not that it's an imposition of course, but it does feel weird taking a look through my collection and realising 1) there are less fics than I thought and 2) I can't associate any summary to so many of the titles! Where has my Snarry knowledge gone!! Anyway I realise I forgot to rec you Diagnosis by MaidenMotherCrone for Tomarry fics, which is an error because I'm not sure I'd want to reread it but it's really a Whole Thing in an overall positive way. Also I never gave you the name of the absolute epic I felt weird reccing on main because there's some niche kinks in it? Obviously you don't seem like you open a 500k fic and come out of it a week later without having done anything else but read it, given what you've said about taking breaks in Pacify (which tbh fair. A lot of stuff happens there) so giving you a 800k fic series on top of all the rest seemed a lot you know :') but whenever you want, you know where to find me hehe. Anyway I'll go like brush my teeth and all, hope this sends, bye bye!!

Looks like I can still receive asks! Whether or not you’ll be notified when I answer this (and I guess, also whether or not tumblr will even allow me to post it,,,) still remains to be seen, but based on last night’s experiment with @’ing you, you won’t be notified. I’ll try to keep my reblogging to a minimum until you’ve seen this!!

For what it’s worth, I did send in another support ticket this morning, but I’ll update my pinned post with that info after I’ve answered this

There is no rush at all for the snarry rec list!! Take your time beloved!! I agree that rereading all that fic isn’t all that bad of a thing, but omg, it must be so daunting to have that list to go through, even if it’s shorter than you thought it was! I mean, I’m sitting here with 12 pages in my marked for later tab on Ao3, while entirely forgetting to read both the fic I currently have open and the books I have from the library lol, so I can def relate to having a list to read through. Just please don’t feel rushed or even obligated, you have the best recs but really it’s okay if I wait for it!

(but tbh, at this point I’ve read enough snarry that I feel like I could make an actual rec list myself, even if like 90% of my bookmarks have come from the @houseofsnarry discord. I might have to do that. No one has asked for my recs since I totally flubbed that one ask requesting my quiobi recs and I revealed that at the time I wasn’t really reading, but now I read so much more, even if it’s primarily snarry and irl books. Idk. I’ll have to think about it and also wait until I get un-shadowbanned, and also also I’ll have to read a little bit more so I can round out any list like that,,,)

Omg so Diagnosis looks like an absolutely incredible fic 👀 that summary, those tags!! No worries about not remembering anything other than the positive vibes, I’ve loved literally everything you’ve rec’d thus far and I’m sure I’ll love this too!

Feel free to drop the name of that longfic btw 👀👀👀👀 I don’t often go for fics over 150k unless they come highly recommended, but most of the time I do finish them really quickly. I got through Unrestrained by Lizzy00305 in three days, All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 in about a week and a half, and, while they’re obv not fic, I did read the first five HP books in 8 days, and then HBP and DH in about a week and a half. It depends on what’s going on irl and how into the fic I am tbch.

Rn it’s taking me forever to get through Transparency by oldesthuntress even though it’s literally my favourite fic of all time only because I have so much going on irl. My fatigue will catch up to me soon enough, and all I’ll be capable of doing (affectionate) soon will be reading and animal crossing, and even if I can’t read it for a little bit, I do have surgery right before Christmas which will mean only reading for a few weeks!

(for what it’s worth, I’m currently planning to save Pacify for after surgery, because tbch I think that’s the perfect read for when I’ll be stuck in bed for two weeks!)

But anyway! Yes please drop that link! No fic is too long if it comes highly recommended!!

All my love to you beloved, I hope the rest of your day goes well!! Thanks for stopping in!!

[leiakenobi]

11. santi

11. things you said when you were drunk

as soon as i saw this one on the list, I knew someone was going to ask for it. which has def happened at least once before with you specifically lydz so maybe i'm just reading your mind. 😂 i... maybe? went in a different direction than you were expecting, and i kinda sorta love it.

this clocks in at 689 words, reader has boobs but no specified pronouns

——

When Santiago's name lights up your phone at 1 in the morning, it is not a surprise. You could swear he calls you like this at least once each time he's away, and it's only a week and a half away from his next leave.

So frankly, he's overdue.

You've been in the process of getting ready for bed, your teeth brushed and a washcloth now in hand in preparation for washing your face. So you set your phone on the edge of the sink and put it on speaker as you accept his call.

"Hi Santi."

"Babe. Hi. Hello."

At once, you smile at your reflection in the mirror. Sometimes these calls take a different sort of tone -- a heady, playful sort of tone -- but right now, he is the epitome of sweetness. "Hi."

"Hi," he repeats. Then, after a pause: "Wait, we said that already."

"It's just nice to say," you reply softly. "Who are you out with tonight?"

Santi sniffs indignantly. "How do you know I'm out tonight?"

You hold back a laugh as you wipe your washcloth across your forehead and over your cheeks. "Are you not out tonight?"

Another pause.

"Some of the local officers," he replies at last. "They can really hold their liquor."

"I'm sure you're keeping up just fine."

"Always." He sounds endearingly proud of himself, but his voice softens a bit as he continues, "Miss you, though."

For such a simple sentiment, it's remarkable how much it makes your heart burst. "I miss you too, baby."

"I've been thinking about your feet a lot."

"My feet?" you repeat, letting out a laugh. That's a new one. Your hands, your legs, your ass, your mouth, your tits... He's mentioned them all in moments like this. It's not often that he'll bring up something new.

"Mhm." Santi lets out a heavy sigh. "Missing those nights when we sit and watch a movie and you spread out on the sofa and swear that you won't put your feet in my lap this time, but you always end up asking for a foot massage."

"Do I do that?"

Yes. You do.

Nightly routine finished, you pick up your phone and cross the threshold into your bedroom. Maybe it's because you're talking to Santi—your eyes fall on his shirts of their own volition as you begin to comb through everything looking for something to sleep in, and you can't help yourself. You pull one out and toss it onto the bed.

"All the fucking time." Again, he sounds proud. Proud of you this time, you think, for being just a little obnoxious about it. "But y'know why I put up with it?"

You don't even think about it as you tug your pants off. "Because it usually leads to sex?"

"I mean, sure." Santi falters for a moment, his thoughts derailed, and you briefly think that you're gonna have to reorient him toward his point. "But also 'cause I love you a lot."

"Santi..." you murmur, momentarily frozen in the middle of taking off your shirt. You try to picture him, probably tucked against the wall outside a rundown dive bar. (He only ever likes dive bars.) Stolen away from his friends purely so that he can tell you that he loves you for being a pain in the ass on your movie nights.

"But to be clear, the sex part is very very good."

Aha. There's your Santiago. You smirk and get your shirt the rest of the way off. "Absolutely it is."

"Good." In the background, you hear a sudden onslaught of shouts, none of which you're quite able to make out. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he calls. To you, he says, "I should--"

"S'okay, babe." You glance toward his pillow, and as much as you are happy to have heard from him, you feel like you might have to curl up with it tonight. "Make sure they get you back to me in one piece, okay?"

"One piece," he agrees. "Love you, babe."

"Love you." The line goes dead quickly, so it's only to yourself that you can murmur, "So much."

[lilacsandwhiskey]

I’m currently obsessed with tiktok and tom holland so I’m obsessed with imagines about both. i think it would be cute if you do a tiktok trend with the boys but like the world doesn’t know about reader and Tom so people are shipping her with one of the guys? like from the tiktok? Tom maybe gets jealous or something ? idk i’m rambling haha

Thanks for the request anon :) I hope this was okay!

Heartbreak Anniversary

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pandemic and COVID, cussing, maybe suggestive at points???, angst, jealous Tom, uhhh sucky writing and no proofreading so bare w ya girl n kinda longer than I anticipated but here we are :)

Notes: italics = flashback

If someone asked you how you managed to get a life as crazy as your’s, you’d simply reply “just meet Harrison and become best friends.” You almost couldn’t fathom what your life looked like right now - you sat in the kitchen with your two friends, Harry and Tuwaine, who had fallen into the pits of TikTok with you, while Harrison, Sam, and your beloved, Tom, sat in the living room, screeching at the television as they watched a game. All of this, while in the middle of a worldwide pandemic.

You didn’t officially live with the boys, but you might as well have. Your apartment was only minutes away, but with how communal your living situation was, Tom simply talked it over with his brothers and best friends, who didn’t even hesitate to scream yes when he asked if you could stay there. It was “safest,” he explained when he begged you to come stay for a while. So you did.

How did we get here? It all started with a little project, Harrison Osterfield, and him playing cupid.

——————————

“Clumsy, are we?” Harrison managed to balance you as you tripped over your own two feet, walking into the studio. “What makes you think that?” You huffed back, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Just get that vibe.” He replied, shrugging with a smile.

It didn’t take long for you and Harrison to practically become the best of friends. He soon was inviting you out to drinks with his friends, who immediately accepted you. Though you and Harrison’s friendship was strictly platonic, you found him itching to find out about your relationship status. “Should I even wonder, Harri?” “I mean, no. I’m just curious.” “I thought I told you before I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” You said, glaring at him with a smile. “I didn’t ask that, I was just curious. So anyway, are you coming to the pub tonight? I’m dying for you to meet my friend, Tom.” The excitement in his voice was too much to understand, but instead of questioning, you just replied with a yes.

There you were, walking through the doors of the pub at 8pm sharp. Your eyes finally spotted familiar faces who were calling out to you. You followed suit, inching your way to the booth at the back. “Y/N!” They called, urging into hugs. “Hi everyone!” You replied, taking a seat. Tuwaine was already scooting over your favorite drink towards you. “Told you we’d always take care of you! Anyway, we’re celebrating tonight. Tom’s back home!”

Your eyes landed on the curly-haired boy who had a gentle smile playing on his lips. “No need for anything big, I’m just glad to be surrounded by my favorite people.” Tom said. “Nice to meet you finally, Y/N. Glad to finally put a face to the name.” Tom held a hand out, gripping tight to yours as he shook it. Little did you know, Tom was well-aware of what your face looked like. He hadn’t been able to stop scrolling through your social media pages after Harrison had posted a picture of you, him, and Tuwaine on his story during a night out.

———————————

“So who’s this girl you’ve been posting?” Tom said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible during this conversation with his bestfriend. “Y/N, I thought I’d mentioned her to you.” Harrison said through the phone. “I don’t believe you have, are you like…” “No, no, dude, you know I’ve been talking to Grace.” “I know, but I was just worried my best friend had moved on without telling me!” “You know I would. No, she’s just a friend, we met during a project. Grace actually loves her, and so does everyone else - including your brothers. Have they not told you about her?”

Tom tried to think back to his conversations, only briefly hearing mentions of your names when he’d ask what they’d been doing. He couldn’t help but scroll through your pictures, soaking up every aspect of your life, well, only what you displayed. You had a dog, bingo. You seemed to be funny by the way you captioned your pictures, good. You seemed to have fun, love your family, and live a life that perfectly reflected how Harrison had described to him after he had came to the realization that Tom had already began crushing on you just by what he’d started telling him and the way you portrayed yourself.

Tom begged Harrison to be his wingman. Harrison practically scolded him the first few times. “I don’t want you to mess up this friendship.” “She’s not just a fling, Tom.” “Can’t you just be friends first?” Tom would settle for the last comment. “Fine, introduce us.”

————————————

Your conversations with Tom seemed so effortless that night. With too much alcohol in your system, you found yourself completely flustered by how pretty he was with his glazed eyes, rosy cheeks, and the constant giggles escaping his lips.

Though nothing ever happened that night, you found yourself spending more and more time with Tom in the coming weeks. Harrison didn’t mind as his relationship was truly flourishing with Grace. Weeks later, Tom had finally kissed you out of the blue and it changed everything. He was leaving for a few more weeks for filming, and instead of gaining the guts to make it official that night, he waited until he came back. It was the first thing he asked you when you reunited.

But, it wasn’t as simple as that. The logistics, the orchestrating, there was so much planning involved with what felt like should just be simple. Tom had fans, and sometimes they weren’t so nice. Tom wanted to protect you in every way possible. Though it was obvious you’d been hanging with the guys, since some of them had posted you, you had just figured that if you went out in public, you’d all go together and you couldn’t spend too much time just next to Tom. Posts were limited, it was all planned to a T. But you didn’t mind, because Tom made you happy and you knew it was for the best.

For a while, you did long distance. Your relationship had been based off of late night or early morning FaceTime calls, quick calls in between breaks, and short text messages throughout the day. It was hard but worth it. But this last time didn’t last near as long as others.

When word of COVID swept through the news, the world became frantic in all aspects. When everything began going into lockdown, Tom was sent straight back home from filming.

———————————

Laughter erupted between Harry, Tuwaine, and you. Tuwaine had showed you a both a video on TikTok he came across of a girl dancing in the midst of her friends to the song Heartbreak Anniversary. Though her coordination was obviously great, it was the reactions and how aggressive she was doing the dance that made it so funny.

As if on cue, Tom, Harrison, and Sam walked into the kitchen, Harrison mentioning that they couldn’t hear their program over their laughing. That’s when they found themselves gathered around the phone, joining in the laugher.

“I think we should recreate it. I think Y/N should learn the dance and be in the middle. It’ll be too good.” Harry said. “Me?” A nervous laugh escaping your lips. “For sure, we learn dances so fast, you’ll have it down in no time.” Harry was right - over the last few months, you’d formed certain hobbies with each of the boys. You had became just as close with them as Tom was, and one thing you and Harry found yourselves doing often was learning dances in the backyard, most likely disrupting the neighbors from your obnoxious cussing and laughter.

After protesting the dance, the guys had won and you were now practicing the dance. You felt so dumb, you couldn’t help but laugh. You didn’t allow the boys to see it so that when you videod, it would be their fresh reactions. And that’s what it was -

The boys circled around you, ready to endure the dancing. Right before, Tom had pulled you aside and reiterated not focusing that much time on him, though he wanted you to. You agreed, understanding the circumstances considering the world still was unaware of your relationship. To everyone else, you were just some friend that came to hang out every now and then.

So when the music started, you kept that little rule in the back of your mind. You tried to spend enough time with each, trying to make them laugh which definitely worked. You added your own flair to the dance, leaning back towards each of them, causing them to spit out laughter. You still found a moment with Tom, because it’d be too obvious that you were not trying to be obvious if you didn’t (haha).

Afterwards, the guys laughed over your shoulder as they watched their own reactions. “You killed that!” Sam exclaimed.

Hours later, you all sat in the living room, engrossed in your own thing - television, telephone, reading, someone was doing something. That’s when Tuwaine busted out laughing. “Shit, these comments are ruthless!” “Hmm?” You said, not even thinking to go check on the video you’d posted. When you opened up the app, Tom was looking over your shoulder to look for himself.

“Yeah, Harrison and Y/N are def fucking”

“Y/N and Haz 👀👀👀”

“Look at the way Haz looks at her 😍 obvi in love”

The comments continued. You cocked your head, watching back at the video. There was nothing much different between your interactions other than he was laughing the most - but that was just Haz. You shook your head, laughing as everyone but Tom joined it.

“Dang, Y/N, didn’t know we cared so much about each other!” Harrison said, giggling. “Right, just so in love!” You jokingly fell back into the couch, but soon noticed that Tom was barely participating in the jokes. Instead, he was leaning back, barely cracking a smile, even when you tugged his arm. You tried to shake off his reaction, not expecting him to actually be upset.

—————————

“I think I’m going to shower, wanna join?” You pulled out some sweatpants from the drawer that you’d claimed. “Why don’t you go ask Harrison?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Excuse me?” Tom stayed silent. A nervous laugh escaped your lips, in hopes that his words were only joking but the straight face he was giving, along with no eye contact, made it clear that he was not joking.

“Are you being serious right now?” You asked quietly. You felt yourself beginning to get upset, considering you had never given him a reason to believe that for one, you’d ever cheat, and for two, that you and Harrison had ever had sex. He was well aware of the friendship that you had before Tom came along, and not only was it strictly platonic, but Grace had been in the picture the whole time.

Tom finallt replied with a shrug, which elicited rolling eyes from you. “You’re unbelievable.” You slammed the door to the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door across the hall. It may have been absurd, but in that moment you honestly were shocked. You and Tom had never really argued about something like this before - it just never showed itself as a problem. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been rumored dating each one of the boys before anyway, you didn’t know what was different.

Harrison had obviously heard the slamming of the doors, including the other boys who surrounded him. Sam pushed the television, looking around at the group, who was already exchanging looks. “Nose goes.” Tuwaine said, instantly pinning his finger to his nose, the rest of the boys following. Harrison was the last to reach his nose. “Aw, come on. You know this is probably about me.” Harrison whispered. “Guess you gotta find out.” Harry replied, shrugging.

Harrison slowly made his way to Tom’s room, slowly knocking before opening the door. Tom was laying on the bed on his phone, seeming that he was not phased by the events that seemed to have just occurred. “Tom?” “Hmm?” “What’s going on?” Harrison asked, inching closer to the bed.

Tom laid his phone on his chest with a smirk. “Why don’t you go find out?” “Seriously, Tom? Are we twelve right now?” Harrison huffed back, crossing his arms. When Tom didn’t reply, Harrison felt like tugging his hair out. It wasn’t very often that the two lads argued, but Harrison honestly couldn’t believe that THIS is what the argument was about this time.

Harrison made it clear time and time again before Tom and you had started dating that you two had been platonic from the beginning. Harrison loved you like a sister, but never anything more. Tom was well aware of that - so he didn’t understand why he was lashing out?

“Look, mate. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, but I can guarantee you, that if you keep on, Y/N isn’t going to like it. You have no right to take it out on her. You know she wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, hell, you know I’d never do that to you in a million years. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, though you have no true reason to be. Fans make assumptions all the time. You can’t possibly be upset when you’re the one who continues to vow her as a secret to the world. You orchestrate every plan with her to make sure that it looks like you’re not dating, so yeah, people might get skeptical. I’m sorry that you’re feeling insecure right now, but you have no right to accuse her of anything.” Harrison had no intentions of giving a speech, but he knew that it had to be said. Tom just looked at him, and for the first time, Harrison couldn’t get a read on him.

Harrison made his way out of the room, almost colliding with you as you came out of the bathroom. Harrison gave you a sympathetic smile before going back to the living room. Confused as to what had just happened in Tom’s room, you took a deep breath before opening the door. There was no doubt that you were still upset, but you also were bothered about the fact that this came so suddenly. Or had it? Had he been so skeptical before and you’d just never caught on? How could he not trust you?

As you walked in, Tom laid on his side away from you. You let out a small sigh, placing your dirty clothes in the hamper and walking over to the bed. “Tom?” No answer. “Can we talk?” Though you couldn’t see around him, Tom squeezed his eyes shut at those words. He finally turned over. “Hey.” You said. “Hey.”

You assumed an apology would come after that, but it never did. You tried to be reasonable. “I get it.” “Hm?” “I get it. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I can’t say there haven’t been times I’ve gotten a little jealous or scared or insecure when you’re miles and miles away. But I’m right here. You have nothing to worry about.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.” “It’s okay, but you have to trust me. We’ve been together over a year now and this conversation has never came up. Why now?”

Tom took a minute to gather his words. He let out a slow shaky breath. “I don’t know how to put it into words. When I’m away, I long to be back home with you. It seems so simple to know that I get to home and you’re here for me. So, now that I’m home for longer than a week, I recognize that you have developed these amazing friendships with people who can be here for you more than me, and sometimes it just feels unreal that I have you - like I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much that the thought of you being with someone else ever hurts me, and I think that’s why the comments got to me so much this time. Y/N, I think I’m ready to tell the world. I’m tired of keeping you a secret. I want to show the world you’re mine, I want to be the one they make those comments about. Ridiculous, huh?” Tom let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

You grabbed his hands, shaking your head. “Babe, if it weren’t for Harrison, we wouldn’t be here. The relationships I’ve grown with everyone is over our shared love of you. We are so grateful that we can be altogether in each other’s presence and enjoy it because we all have a shared love. You’re so important to all of us, and that’s just how it works. I’m ready to tell the world if you are. I’d love nothing more than to finally call you mine publicly… and maybe go on a date outside of our backyard when this pandemic ends.” You say with a grin. He pulls you on top of him, laying a slow kiss on your lips. “You’re so important to me. Let’s show the world how much.”

[dourpeep]

hello again from nameless anon. you wanted some idol au stuff? i have a couple of ideas.

i'm assuming this is based off the idol au on twitter so imagine kazuxiaoreader but idol au.

i can see xiao being like a composer so he's constantly in the studio. if you were an idol i'm sure he would ask you if you wanted to collab for a song where you're the main person singing and xiaos rapping, or if you were the rapper you both would be rapping together. kazuha would also be the person you do stage with, like a cover with one of their songs or one of yours, either way you two are trending the next day with your chemistry on stage.

one day xiao makes a song where both you and kazuha are the vocals while he's the person rapping, it becomes the top song the day it releases

i kinda have ideas how kazuxiao meet you but maybe something of you catching xiaos eye since you're a part of a high anticipated girl group and you caught his eye. kazuha eventually takes notice of this just from xiao listening to your debut song on repeat and listens to it himself. you guys eventually make contact from where their comeback and your comeback are around the same time. which is where you meet your seniors for the first time. you're the one who stands out to them and you hand out your album to them as a gift for them. as a returning gift, they gift your group their album too, however in your album, xiao and kazuha attached their number asking for a collab later in the future.

since i'm such a simp i have to cover albedo. i feel like albedo could be like either a solo artist or a well known producer/choreographer, or both that can work too. he's totally the type of guy who would get really motivated at 2-3 am in morning and just be sitting in the studio and forgot about meals. so you come around to bring him food and he lets you listen to what he's working on.

god this is a really long post i hope everything makes sense :(

THANK YOU FOR THE KAZUXIAOREADER FOOOOD

But yes I agree! Also it's cute to think that it all starts because the three of you are each other's fans hahaha

Not to mention--people would assume that you're just really close because of the collab (until they realize the chemistry the three of you have on stage). I feel that when the three of you do (if you do) decided to be open about the relationship, the fans??? Would loose it. We'll be nice and say it's in a good way because-

They don't have to guess and say "oh no I like them + Kazuha" "but what about them + Xiao???" or "you can't forget about KazuXiao!"

Because, jokes on everyone, the three of you are in a very happy relationship and have been for quite a while now--since a few months after that first collab.

Man, I can just see the headlines already.

But it'd also be pretty nice if you're all used to idol life and stuff because you understand the difficulties of it and can help each other through the rough times as well as celebrate during the good.

Also matching outfits.

Yes.

AS FOR BEDOOOO

I agree! I see him as being able to do quite a bit of the stuff from producing to performing himself.

It's the fact that he's very attractive, has a pleasing voice, and also is insanely smart--something that never fails to catch new fans off guard because "Oh my god he wrote the song, mixed the back track, sung it, and had it published in like three days???"

But it'd be an ongoing thing for his fans to always comment that he needs to rest and to make sure he drinks some water. Very wholesome.

As for you coming round to check up on him, he'd appreciate it so much. With how busy his schedule is def not because he thought of another two songs he wants to get done this week, it's so easy for him to slip into work mode.

Maybe if he's at a point where he's satisfied, he might even ask if he can just rest his head on your shoulder. Only for a moment-

Oh. He fell asleep.

[maxbernini]

Wait what biphobic things did maya say in s6? could you elaborate? genuinely asking

it's mostly minor things, nothing as explictly biphobic as what she just said, and you could argue that's bc david & niels didn't intend it that way in the first place (which is probably true), but i do think s6 canon has been enriched by s9 (+ vice versa), and that her recent comments aren't OOC when you rewatch. anyways:

under a read-more bc i think these need explaining and aren’t just...clear-cut examples, the way the recent clips were, so it’s long.

- when she comes out in her first clip, it’s in response to lola talking about having sex with guys. so she knows lola's attracted to men. their next meeting, she invites lola to a party and gets rebuffed (bc of tiff lmao), and maya assumes it's bc lola thinks she wants to sleep with her and that'd be the only reason maya would invite her out, and that lola's uncomfortable with that. then we get the iconic greta thunberg line. imo it’s not entirely unreasonable to think ‘this person i’m clicking with has suddenly turned me down after i came out, she’s homophobic’, but it is still her assuming lola’s straight and thinking that sleeping with men = can’t be queer (even though she was happy to flirt with a “straight” girl under that assumption jfkjdkfk, that’s a whole other thing to unpack, which is why i’m also not touching on maya ‘looking’ gay in a way lola doesn’t)

- the morning after the party, they're talking when lola gets a text from daphné. maya immediately asks "is that your boyfriend?". the question isn't inherently biphobic ofc, but at this point she’s fully aware that lola's not straight, and with the recent context of bilal asking if she freaked out bc clement’s a guy and her saying “maybe”, it’s not surprising imo that she immediately assumes lola’s got a boyfriend, not a girlfriend/partner etc, and is curious/insecure/views a bf as a roadblock in a way a gf isn’t, maybe?

- not biphobic at the time imo, but now just more evidence of her hypocrisy re: dating and gender: a week after they reconcile and maya says "i miss you when you're not around", she starts dating char. obviously we know it was bc she freaked out and ran to something “safe”, and doing that pre-dating is a loooot different to someone moving on from a relationship of almost two years a week after breaking up, but again...she’s mad about clement, a man, when she’s a canon serial dater! 18 girlfriends in an entire year lol (i think this is her longest relationship + the first time she’s been dumped tbh)

for what it’s worth i still think she would’ve been angry and jealous if clement was a woman; i like this post + agree with everyone saying she’s looking for anything except her own behavior to blame (which she admits to bilal). but she is still defaulting to biphobia in doing so, and def has some hangups about gender, men, sexuality. i was talking to @llamaslorries and she thinks maya might blame her father for ruining her and her mother’s life and is Alert about men being in the vicinity. i think her experiencing homophobia in the foster system also doesn’t help. either way: she needs therapy ASAP

[a-libra-writes]

Hey! Could you do these headcanons [💖,💐] for Jaime, or Tyrion? I've been in the GoT fandom “recently” (like a month or two ago?), and I don't see much of them; especially Tyrion (I don't know book-Tyrion yet 👀). I've been reading your blog for a while, and I really like your writings; I'm taking my time to read them again jsjsj. I understand if you don't want to, or doesn't catch your eye; I hope I'm not being rude or anything, but I wanted to try my luck. Please take care and be safe! <3

welcome to our cluuuub! welcome to our cluuuuuub! 

im glad youre enjoying GoT so much, and my blog! You should def give the books a try if you ever have a chance! Book Tyrion is rlly diff in many cool ways, same with Jaime. 

also i uh ... did the thing where i confused the emojis again, so I did “date” for both of them as well LOL oops

💘 Tyrion Date HC

Once Tyrion really starts liking you, he takes you to the loveliest places. We’re talking walks through gardens with little ponds and animals, a covered boat ride on a river, or walking through an exciting market full of Essosi traders. The thing is, he’d never call this “courting”. That makes it too official, too serious. He plays it off as simple visits two friends would make.

He’s excellent at finding out the things you’re interested in. You aren’t aware of it, but Tyrion really pays attention to what you respond to and what you like the most. I mean, he’s already watching you because he loves you, but if you aren’t vibing with an activity and location he’ll take that into consideration for next time.

He has lots of fun experiencing new things with you, period - after you’re together, after you’re married. If he finds out about something new, he’ll tell you so you both can do it together.

Tyrion prefers more private locations, since the court is exhausting and nearly all people he meets don’t like him anyway... but there’s something exciting about having such a pretty girl on his arm, someone who clearly adores him and wants to spend time with him.

Gifts! You tell him he doesn’t have to, but he likes presenting you with little things at the beginning or end of a date. First it’s practical things, so he can brush it off as “You seemed like you could use that”, before it’s just outright pretty jewels and dresses and he has no excuse. At that point it’s because he clearly loves you.

When it’s your name day, he has such a great evening planned out. If you’re married, make that a weekend or a week to travel and enjoy a little mini-vacation. Tyrion is excellent at planning an event in secret, so you have no idea what he has in store until the morning of your birthday.

In a modern AU, he’s not too different - he wants to explore new places and new things. He’d probably live in a city and would always find the strangest hole in the wall places to eat and shop at. If you like books, or records, or clothes, he’s gonna find something really out of the way and specific.

💖Tyrion Pregnancy HC

From the time you announced your pregnancy to the entire 9 months, it was like the worst emotional whiplash he’s ever had. There are SO many thoughts going through his head. Some of them are:

One, he’s delighted you want to have a family with him. Yes, you two are married, but it’s not out of duty to the Lannisters. It’s the ultimate proof you love him, he decides - because there’s a real chance your child could turn out like him, and you don’t care. And he knows you’ll love the child if that happens. He just knows you’ll be a wonderful mother. Second, you clearly express your joy to his family and the courtiers. You’re proud and you don’t care who knows. Third, he thinks about how horrid his own upbringing was, and he’s absolutely 100% determined to be an excellent father. Fourth ...

You get the point. He’s so torn between worry - what if the child is born with a problem, what if you die in childbed, what if he turns out to be a terrible father - and absolute, unbelievable devotion. You thought he was protective and doting before? Nothing is too good for you. You have to tell Tyrion to dial it back a bit, you don’t need new clothes every month and ten sets of silken bedsheets and all this jewelry....

He’s a bundle of nerves the closer the due date is. You two might actually get into spats because you’re exhausted and achey, and he’s just a mess. Jaime actually has to knock sense into him and get him to calm down.

But once your child is born...  it all washes away, like a wave carrying him. He’s so happy. He can’t even function. He wants the hold the child all the time, he wants to see them, talk to them - and he asks so many questions to you and the maester. When will the child talk? When will they walk? Can they understand him? Do they know he’s their father? And so on.

Also, his protectiveness would go through the roof. He would never forbid you from going anywhere or doing anything, but.. he would be obviously nervous if you mentioned you were going travelling or something. 

And it goes without saying he’s keeping extra tabs on Cersei, certain courtiers, maybe his own father. He doesn’t trust any of them for anything.

Bronn will probably get assigned to bodyguard duty for you. He’s clearly not pleased, and you just sigh and dismiss him for the day so you don’t have to listen to his smart mouth.

He likes to feel your stomach, especially when the babe kicks! It relieves his worries that the child might be born “wrong” somehow. The fact they’re kicking, wiggling and moving, seemingly in response to him, makes him feel much better.

💐 Tyrion Family & Kids HC

He’s an excellent father, even though he has his moments of emotional hang-ups. He wants to ensure his child is educated, empathetic and uses their damn head. While he’d be doting and affection, he wouldn’t be a total pushover and can reasonably discipline them. Tyrion is great at talking to children respectfully and treating them like people.

On that note, he has no patience for someone like Cersei or his father trying to butt in on his parenting. He’ll stand up to them and firmly insist he can raise his child on his own, thank you. He won’t take any “advice” or threats from them.

He’d be quite good at figuring out what his children are talented in, and encouraging them. He’s seen what it’s like when a child is forced into a single box and hinge all their worth on that (Jaime) and when they’re looked over and ignored (him and Cersei). 

Yes, he basically decides to do the opposite of whatever his father did.

There would be times when he’d want to educate his children himself, but only on certain subjects - reading and writing, for example. He trusts the maester just fine, he just wants to have that bonding opportunity with them. 

(He’s so proud of all of them no matter what though 😭)

If you’d be up for it, Tyrion would like several children. He’s not 100% on how many, since he’s never really given himself a chance to hope and daydream for a family. He knows he needs a son for the Lannister line to continue, but he’d never force you to continue risking your health for that. Ultimately, however many you want, that’s what he’ll be happy with. If it’s all girls, he’ll love them the same.

💘 Jaime Date HC

It’s actually amusing how bad he is at taking you somewhere interesting. It ends up being an accident - you run into him in a beautiful garden or some obscure part of the Red Keep, and he offers to show you something interesting he found. From there, you two get lost and take a while to find your way back.

... Or you take him somewhere you thought was interesting, and he goes along with it. When you point out that Jaime is pretty bad at this “courting” business, he just scoffs and says that’s definitely not what he’s doing. He’s just visiting with ... a friend ... .... just a friend. Yup.

Another aspect is the fact he’s a Whitecloak, and he might be having to avoid Cersei. That kind of makes things dicey.

However, when he returns from the Dreadfort and that absolute hell of a journey, he’s doesn’t care so much who sees you two. He wants to get away from the Red Keep, even if that’s his duty, so he starts wandering out with you. When Jaime is patrolling on his own and sees a place of interest, he makes a mental note to bring it up to you later. And when he does, and you offer to go with him ... Well, he won’t complain.

Since you two have been so many places, he starts to associate them with you. When he’ll pass by it on his own, he thinks about something you laughed at, or something you told him there. If you ever touched his hand or his face while you two visited a garden, he will remember that touch every single time he passes by. 

After you’ve known each other for a while, and he’s feeling sentimental, he’ll ask, “Do you remember those docks a mile away from the Red Keep? There was a man pushing a cart that had these colorful glasses and wares. You were wearing a blue dress, and when you dirtied it, I carried you around down the street?”

You have no idea where he’s talking about, but that’s the sort of road his memory lane is.

In the modern AU, he’s still pretty terrible at dates. He’s more of the type who wants to wander around with you and just pop into a place that seems interesting - and then he’ll associate you with it. Anytime he sees that cafe chain again, even in a different city, he remembers the hot cocoa you ordered and the little marshmallow mustache you gave yourself.

And honestly, he prefers to stay home with you, cuddling and watching something. He can be as bad as a needy cat when he wants cuddles and attention; you aren’t escaping anytime soon.

💖Jaime Pregnancy HC

Oh no.

Back when Jaime was a boy and lectured endlessly on the duties of a Lannister heir, he didn’t truly understand what that meant. Especially after Cersei coerced him into taking the white cloak, he figured he’d never have children of his own.

... Well. Then there was three. but they never felt like his, which was Cersei’s intention. It was so strange, even if they looked like him, he couldn’t connect Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen to himself.

Also, look who his father is. That’s a lot to unpack.

It’s not until he’s completely left Cersei and lost his sword hand that he starts thinking and seeing things differently. It feels different when you play with the children, when you look longingly at mothers, when he’s intimate with you and you let him finish inside. He starts thinking what it’s like, and that’s scary, considering it never crossed his mind before.

And then he thinks about how his mother died, and what it did to his father. He never openly discusses it with you, but he has nightmares about it. Jaime doesn’t sleep well for a lot of your pregnancy, especially toward the last few months. He does a little better with each child. To distract himself, he takes care of you.

He likes the idea of having two children, a boy and girl, or two boys, but he’s fine with one or more than two. Anything more than four would probably overwhelm him.

Gods save the person who threatens you, even if it’s his sister. His protective instincts go into overdrive, to the point where someone being disrespectful to you on the street will make him want to fight.

💐 Jaime Family & Kids HC

When you tell him, honestly... his first thought is what an awful parent he’d be. He had one example for what a father is like, and he was hardly an influential part in the lives of the three children he sired. You’d have to reassure Jaime and give him confidence, because he has none where this is concerned. He’s positive he’ll screw it up somehow, he’ll be too distant, or too cruel. How do you even hold a baby? What do you say to little ones? He’s going to take care of you, there’s no question of that, but his nervousness is palpable. 

Still, he has such a cute smile when he holds his child - what he considers his first real one - and he right away sees you in them. Their nose, and smile, and eyes. It’s amazing, he decides.

Jaime is a terribly indulgent father. He tries to scold where he can, but more often than not he’s amused by his kid being mischievous. When they pull pranks on guests or get into fights with other kids, he’ll let them off easy if he felt like it was justified. If you’re the more disciplinary parent, the kids totally learn to go to Jaime when they want something.

He’s not overly physically affectionate, but he often ruffles their hair (even if they’re a girl with hair you just braided), gives them rides on his shoulders and lets them sit on his lap and fall asleep. He also has a habit of patting their cheeks or shoulders when he’s pleased.

Jaime didn’t think he’d be excited to teach swordplay and horseback, but he’s so happy when one of his kiddos is interested in both or either. Even if they’re a girl, he can’t help but teach her everything he knows. It also makes him feel better that he has something to teach and pass on even if he lost his sword hand.

Also ... he’s a terrifying papa lion. Do not ever even slightly threaten his children or wife in front of him. His temper and pride will flare and he’ll start a fight right there. 

Related to that, he can fight off Cersei’s cruelty and coldness to you and your children together because he knows how to deal with her. If Tywin disapproved of you in some way, or was trying to take control of how the children were reared, Jaime would genuinely struggle to stand up to him. He doesn’t want his kids to go through the childhood he had, but it’s difficult for him. He won’t go into full “fuck this” mode unless the children are seriously threatened. 

[amortize]

my abortion story

below the cut you’ll find an account of my experience with abortion. i have no doubt that very few people will read it, but i think i needed to write it. I hope it helps you if you need it.

Okay, so this is something that i’m not sure i really know how to put into words? Or really want to, per se? But i feel like with abortion featuring so heavily in the media recently, i’m finally realizing just how many unprocessed feelings i have about my own experience with abortion. With my own abortion. See, for some reason i even hesitate to put it into direct words like that? And i’m literally tearing up as i’m typing this, and idk, i just feel like i owe it to myself to put my experience into words.

Okay, so basically i just knew i was sick. Vomiting copious amounts of orange bile several times a day, unable to keep down any food or water. Constantly nauseous and nothing made even a dent in it. I am not healthy, stuff like this is not super unusual. I went to the doctor and they did some tests. 

Meanwhile, I’m in my last week at a job i’d been at for ~5yrs and desperately wanted to leave on a good note, so i was slogging through work, rushing to the back room to puke in cardboard boxes, and then going home and being miserable in a blanket nest the rest of the time.

Pregnancy was ruled out, initially, because I had an iud implanted, and chances of pregnancy while on an iud is incredibly miniscule. So it was only when the second doctor mentioned pregnancy that I even thought of it as a possibility.

So they did more tests and I left the doctor and went and bought pregnancy tests. I remember throwing up an obscene amount of bile in the dollar tree parking lot (protip their pregnancy tests are cheap and gr8, walmart has some for like a dollar too), still feeling so ill and miserable. And then going home and taking first one test, then two, and just sobbing to myself on the bathroom floor.

By that point, I already knew that I was going to abort the pregnancy. I do not want kids. I do not want to pass on my physical/mental issues to a child. I think I could be a great mom? I think I could definitely devote my life to kids and do a great job raising a family. But it’s also something I do not want to do. And ultimately, I have enough trouble keeping myself alive and relatively healthy. On paper, we could have made a pregnancy/child work if we really, really needed to. But honestly, I think I would have just killed myself, ultimately.

It was late, at this point, so I tossed and turned restlessly for a couple hours before hopping on the computer to navigate the deplorable system of online healthcare, trying to find ogbyn and abortion providers that would be covered by insurance. I was on the computer when the doctor called me with positive pregnancy test results, as soon as he got in that morning. Before the office even opened, which I thought was thoughtful. He honestly had no helpful advice, but he referred me to an obgyn, who I saw later that morning.

Honestly the following part of the experience is the portion I find most painful to recount. I was pretty positive going in? I already had confirmation of pregnancy, so I wanted abortion referrals and options. I had done some research and knew it was early enough that I should be able to take pills for a chemical abortion. And an iud removal, obviously, since it clearly hadn’t done what it was supposed to.

Well he did the pelvic exam, refused to remove the iud in case it might harm the pregnancy (yes, I know it can cause miscarriages, but I was def ok w that), told me he didn’t know anything about abortion and didn’t know anyone he could refer me to, and then got very concerned about the fact that it might potentially be an ectopic pregnancy and referred me for an immediate ultrasound.

So I wandered the endless, soulless maze of the hospital complex, drank a bunch of water, confirmed with the desk that everything would be covered by insurance (because I really could not afford all of this), and had an uncomfortable and kind of dehumanizing ultrasound wih a nurse who was markedly less friendly when I wasn’t excited about the possibility of pregnancy.

My boyfriend picked me up in the hospital parking lot and took me home, but he was in the midst of a full time internship and summer school finals, and was literally moving back to school for his final semester later that day. So he was supportive, definitely 100% supportive of me and my health and my decision to abort, but not really present. And I didn’t want to ask, because he had things he needed to be doing and I didn’t want to add to the stress of that.

Basically, I went home and researched abortion clinics online. Due to the early timeline and the possibility of a chemical abortion, I wanted to get in asap. I think it was a Wednesday afternoon, at this point. I was starting a new job in another week, and a new semester of school, and I was panicking, and I just wanted, no, needed, the whole situation resolved asap.

There were a few options within a ~1hr radius, which I acknowledge is not the case for most people, and is something I am exceedingly grateful for. Due to location and scheduling, I ended up with a Friday? Morning appointment with CaraFem, though I think a Planned Parenthood location was my second option.

In the ~1.5 days it took to wait for my appointment, I was still sick and miserable, unable to keep down food and vomiting that weirdly orange bile. The obgyn I saw had refused to remove my iud, but I got conflicting information as to whether or not they would be able to remove my iud (and thus proceed w the abortion) without a second appointment, and I did not want this ordeal to continue into another week (and necessitate an extra day and an extra drive and an extra appt cost, ect). Ultimately, I ended up removing the iud my myself with a hand mirror and a pair of tweezers.

The next morning I went for the abortion appointment. It was an anxious drive, and there were some protesters outside, and the building was confusing to navigate, but the office had a locked entry and felt very warm and safe inside. The two employees were very pleasant and helpful, ran my insurance and everything during the exam and gave me the advice to pay out of pocket as it was cheaper.

The exam itself went great. The doctor was kind and professional, explained the whole procedure and all my options. I was about 6wks along and I opted for a chemical abortion. My memories are hazy now, but It involved pills inserted into your vagina that essentially cause a miscarriage. I did that as soon as I returned home.

The “abortion” honestly wasn’t that much worse than a heavy period combined with the sickness caused by (my admittedly abnormal) early pregnancy itself. The bigger issue was the social environment surrounding me. My grandparents were coming to stay for a few days for my birthday, and there were things planned and obligations to consider, and because the celebrations were ostensibly for me, I had to be present and engaged whether I felt like shit or not. (You know the type, “our presence is the real present so now you have to spend the whole time catering to us”)

So while my entire family slept downstairs, I spent a miserable evening cramping, puking my guts out, and bleeding profusely from my vagina. And then I got up the next day and had to pretend to be happy and grateful while still sick and in pain and honestly mentally not in a great place. But anyway, everything went fine. I bled for about a week, spotted for a couple more, and had a confirmed negative pregnancy test a month or whatever afterwards. I have less contact with my family these days.

It’s kind of weird to think back on this, a couple years in hindsight. I feel like the biggest lasting impact revolves around the attitudes I faced from my mother? She knew I was sick, and I disclosed the pregnancy to her, as well as my intention to get an abortion. I knew she was pro choice, had even helped a friend access abortion in college. She was not negative, but also wasn’t supportive? I feel like some of the attitude stems from her own childhood. She was the result of an unintended pregnancy between two teenage parents, and I think a lot of her attitudes towards premarital sex boiled down to “don’t have any”. So I think some part of her felt like this was the consequences of my own actions, in a way? Because heaven forbid I have protected sex in a long-term relationship and happen to have failproof birth control fail. I don’t know. I feel like I needed someone to be there for me. To hold me and tell me it would be okay, and drive me to my appointments so i didn’t have to deal with the confusion and the anxiety and the panic alone. And instead of helping when I asked for support, she passive aggressively went out of her way to be harder on me. Which maybe isn’t fair. Or maybe I should have known better how to ask for what i needed? 

Looking back in the aftermath, I am so exceedingly grateful to Carafem, where I was treated with compassion and dignity. I think I paid ~$600 total for the entire procedure, including all prescriptions and an ultrasound exam. I was the only patient in the office, the environment was clean and peaceful, and I received sincere and meaningful medical care. If I were ever in this situation again, I would go there, no question, and would not hesitate to recommend them to anyone in need.

I feet exceedingly frustrated with the mainstream medical system, which made it very difficult for me to access abortion care. My single office exam and the ultrasound i was assured multiple times would be covered by insurance ended up costing about $3000, which I spent the next year paying off. But mostly it was the frustration? The dehumanization? The lack of transparency regarding referrals? When it came to abortion that left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I literally removed my own iud because I was so distraught about 1) the unknown cost of care and 2) the ability to receive care (since that procedure had been denied to me earlier in the day). I will never go back to that obgyn office ever again. I also received and had to contest a $1600 insurance bill for the Carafem visit I paid $600 out of pocket for :)

This experience also made me reconsider my birth control options. I had opted for an iud specifically because it had the least risk of unintended pregnancy. On it, my periods were lighter but also inconsistent–i could go months without, or with just spotting, which is why I didn’t notice the pregnancy at first. I also had a small amount of discomfort and cramping with it? Which I didn’t really notice until after the fact. Today I am taking a more traditional birth control pill, which I take daily, and the routine of being able to track my period with the sugar pill weeks is comforting, I think. I still keep a couple dollar store pregnancy tests in the closet, which I take in a panic if my period is a day or two late. 

I still feel no regret over my actions. I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong? If anything, I went out of my way to take precautions, and they failed, and that’s not my fault. And even if I hadn’t taken precautions, it still wouldn’t be my fault, because abortion is healthcare. Hell, the only reason I knew I was pregnant is because I became so violently ill. Regardless of my situation, or my preparedness for a child, I was not mentally and physically well enough to continue a pregnancy without it taking a massive toll on my wellbeing, and it was totally fair for me to prioritize my own health over that of a potential fetus. 

I think if I were in a situation where abortion was not an option, I would deliver the baby and then give it up for adoption. But I think back to how sick and miserable I was for that single (knowing) week of pregnancy, of the tens of thousands of dollars of medical costs of childbirth, and lost work, and how long I would have to work to dig myself back out of that hole…Not to mention, my health is not great currently, how much worse would it be after pregnancy and childbirth?

Don’t get me wrong, I love children. I delight in pictures of cute kiddos, and I mourn with friends suffering infertility, and I recognize the majesty of bringing a child into the world. But it was not the right path for me, and it is not the right path for many other women. And so for us, I think I need to keep reflecting on my abortion, because pushing those traumas to the back of my mind isn’t helping me or anyone else. And processing my experience starts with talking about it, so here I am, talking into the void…

[peri-b]

being quarantined with my characters

Cato: 100000000000/10 like GOD i'd love to be quarentined with her. You'd never go hungry this girl is always making something. she wants to watch alll the horror movies, and she wants to do all the cute little pinterest idea things. Pretty much by the end your house would look like it's from pinterest. Also she'd make those cupcakes that look like ducks. That needs to be said. she would also zoom with her family like alll the time. zoom with her friends too. She needs that social interaction. She'd also wanna go on walks with you!! with a mask ofc, though don't get annoyed when she says good morning to every single tree Rose: 5/10 like, she's okay but she's also like. You wouldn't really see her a whole lot? she probably broods a lot cause she's seen plauge before. but if she's feeling nice she'll try to cook you something! It prob doesn't turn out well but it's the though that counts. She makes amazing playlists tho. Like turn one of those bad bois on and it'll be a blast. She will probably bug you sometimes, but that's only when her intrusive thoughts get real bad and she needs human interaction. Has a shit ton of fun stories tho. She would 100% turn on disney movies with you and sing along and no i'm not bitter that she's a better singer than me Nat: 6/10 she'd be fun, would def dance naked under the moonlight with her. She'd use that time to work on her witchcraft and focus on herself. She usually orders food cus like,, she will not be cooking. you order from really nice places tho so that's a plus. If you don't like crystals or candles etc. then you're gonna have a bad time because she will n o t shut up about it. personally I'd love it, def wanna talk witch stuff with her. Vixen would be fun too. happy boi loves naps Safiya: 8/10 another person you wouldn't see too often. She likes her alone time and is proably annoyed that she's stuck with someone. But like. She doesn't really bother you. Spends a lot of time in the woods, so you kind of get the house to yourself. Don't mess it up tho, she'll get grumpy. When she's feeling nice, she'll watch a movie with you, or teach you how to woodcarve. Won't laugh if you mess up, she'll just point out different technuiqes. She feeds deer and babytalks to them you caught her doing this and she doesn't speak to you for a week. but she's super chill. you'd probably watch a lot of stiduo ghibli and she def cries but will not admit it. if you like having your hair braided- then she might braid it. only cause "i'm getting really stircrazy" yea sure Safiya I belive you Chizu would prob be like a 5/10. She'd be fine for a while but then she'd get so stircrazy. like. she must do something. anything. So she goes to you. "Hey. Entertian me i'm bored." She probably says so you kinda sit there like :/ she likes going on long drives. doesn't talk much, just plays music and looks out the window. she would learn how to make hot chocolate and suddenly- she's always making it. like Chizu you do not need hot chocolate at three am but whatever makes her happy another person who has lots of stories to tell, and she would tell you (after a lot of convincing) let her do your nails plsss, or you could do hers. doesn't matter. spa day. this will be happening. after time goes on she's less bitchy and you end up cuddling under blankets watching somtin like Criminal Minds- to which Chizu will then go on and crituiqe each episode Mary is like. idk. 6/10? at first she does not see the point to all of this so she's like h u h - but she'll stay inside. BONUS THO you live in a big ass mansion so if you don't wanna talk to her- you don't have to just move to the other side of the house. like fr, you could live together and not see each other o n c e. but like, eventually she'll seek you out cuz like, she's bored. she'll bug you for a bit- she is def the person that orders too much dumb shit from amazon like pls, Mary. S T O P she'll do your hair tho. 10/10 does it really well. can't cook tho. can barely make tea. so that's kind of up to you cus she's a vampire n all. she tries to get some hobbies but ends up starting one- gets bored- starts another- gets bored... you get the idea. lots of unfinished projects around the house

[just-a-creep-babe]

Hoodie Yandere Alphabet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Commissioned by anonymous, thank you so much! 💗💝💗

~Requests are closed~

Masterlist: x

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Despite everything, ya boi isn’t really that affectionate. He doesn’t like being vulnerable cause he doesn’t wanna risk the control he has, so any affection usually comes in the form of sickly sweet teasing & mocking. Like he’ll drag a knife/gun up & down their body while cooing about how pretty they look when they’re all scared & helpless beneath him, and that’s about as affectionate as he gets

But he is, admittedly, a huge softie in the mornings when he’s half-asleep & also when he’s a little woozy from blood loss. In that case, he won’t be so afraid to smother his darling in plenty of kissies & cuddles :3 And once he’s got a grip on them, it’s damn near impossible to escape; boy’s got some thicc 👏ass 👏muscles 👏 just perfect for trapping his squirming darling against his broad chest, even when he is just waking up or injured 👀

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Mmh he won’t actively make an effort to cover them in blood or anything, but he does appreciate how those streaks of scarlet look on their skin. He sometimes likes cutting them when they’ve misbehaved, and he especially loves whipping them until the blood starts beading up, but other than that, he’s prolly more of a fan of bruising. Too much blood can make too much of a mess, which just isn’t worth the effort in his opinion. He’s a clean boi uwu

Still, despite that, he’s not afraid of getting his hands real dirty every now & then when the occasion calls for it ;)

And on the other hand, if he gets injured while he’s out, he‘ll picking at his wounds & stitches until blood gushes out just to smear it on his darling. It brings out this kinda possessive side of him when they’re covered in his blood—his mark. He also enjoys how kinda fucked up it is—and bonus points if it freaks his darling out too :)))

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He’s pretty damn cruel tbh. He enjoys hurting them physically, but he also absolutely adores messing with their head. He’ll act sweet & caring one second, then flip the switch & start mocking them for thinking he might actually be a good person. He likes being unpredictable with his cruelty too—it keeps them on edge. If they expect him to ridicule them, he won’t, and if they let their guard down & start believing he might genuinely care this time, he’ll be extra cruel~

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Oh, he definitely would. He’s smart enough to realize that what he’s done isn’t right, and he‘s probably beyond redemption at this point, so why not? Homeboy knows he’s going to hell anyways, he might as well enjoy the ride & do what he pleases ;p

He does many-a things against their will, and like I mentioned, he loves mind games & generally messing with their head, to the point of possibly breaking them. He’s also certainly not against dishing out punishments too. Whether or not they deserve it is sometimes questionable, but he’ll find a way to gaslight them into thinking it’s prolly their fault regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He doesn’t like being vulnerable with someone he knows won’t reciprocate said vulnerability. Boy’s just not about taking those unnecessary risks. So he doesn’t really let himself show any kind of emotions towards them. And this mans is fucking excellent at hiding what he’s feeling, and tbh, as a yandere, it just makes him all the more downright terrifying

The only time he might start opening up is when, again, he’s tired/injured & his defences are down, or he thinks his darling might be falling for him & their relationship is getting,, kinda more serious/genuine. Even then, it’s a slow process, cause opening up to someone isn’t exactly a familiar concept to him

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Oh, he loves it when they fight back. They can’t make things too easy for him now, can they?~ He likes when they aren’t afraid to show a bit of spunk; it only makes things all the more entertaining~

And besides, he knows that when it boils down to it, they can’t overpower him, so it’s not like he’s got anything to be afraid of anyways. They just end up looking super cute all flustered & upset trying to fight him off—all bark & no bite~

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

The whole thing is definitely a game. He wants to see if they can outsmart him—it gives him a huge rush & brings out this competitive side of him. He knows he’ll win in the end, ofc, but still, boy loves his little fucked up tricks & mind games, especially when his victim’s as cute & precious as his little darling~

When it comes to escaping, he’ll even go as far as to purposely letting them leave, just so he can leave traps around the forest & see if they can make it home—or if they end up crawling back to him. Make no mistake however; if they somehow, against all odds, manage to escape, he’s not gonna let that be the end of it. In fact, he’ll probably grow even more obsessed with them because they actually outsmarted him. The game would only really begin at that point 😈💀

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

I don’t think there’d be one specific event that’d be the worst experience. If anything, the constant manipulation & gaslighting would wear them down over time and really fuck ‘em up in the long run. Just the whole experience of being his captive would leave some lasting trust issues, to say at the very least

But yeah, he isn’t one to get too physically violent unless it’s they’ve really misbehaved so they aren’t likely to experience any emotional outbursts/near-death experiences. He plays the long con & would rather fuck up their life by twisting & warping their perspective so bad no one could undo it. Not that they have much of a chance at returning to the real world w/o him, anyways. Cause, like I said, even if they escape, he’ll likely keep watching them from the shadows before reclaiming or killing them. They’re either stuck with him, traumatized for life among the normal population, or they’re dead, plain & simple

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Well, he’s got about a thousand back-up plans if they ever manage to escape that’ll lead them right back to his arms, but other than that, he doesn’t really,,,, know or care about the distant future?

Part of him realizes he might not always have his darling, while the other part of him’s convinced nothing could possibly tear them away from him. He’s kinda just betting they’ll eventually cave in, accept their fate & admit they love him back. At the same time though, he doesn’t want his little game to end, and he doesn’t want them to become complacent, so to speak. Despite all his careful planing ahead, he’s not really sure what he wants in the long run :/

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly), he’s not one much for jealousy. In fact, he’d definitely let Masky, at the very least, play around with his darling because ya boy knows sharing is caring 😏😉

Yet despite his easy-going nature, there are time when even he, himself, isn’t immune to those sharp pangs of jealousy & possessiveness. It’s more of a mental thing than a physical one, though. Like he’s fine with letting his darling be around others, as long as everyone knows they ultimately belong to him, but if he catches hint that his darling’s thinking about someone else, then he‘ll be none too pleased.

He wants their thoughts to always be about him; and whether in a positive light or a negative one, he doesn’t care which. So he’d find some way to punish them or gaslight them until they can’t think of anyone else anymore. They should know they’re all his, no excuses

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Hm, Hoodie’s generally a reserved person, and that doesn’t change much around them tbh. He won’t be as quiet as he is around the other creeps, but he’s def not the type of yandere to gush about how much he loves his darling & how much they mean to him & stuff

Sometimes, he can even be,, kinda cold & stoic. He enjoys confusing them, so he might act like he doesn’t care about them & their presence is a burden—like he didn’t actively choose to kidnap them. He might range from acting like a cuddly murderous teddy bear to a detached blank slate of a person. Typically, when he puts some distance between him & his darling, it’s cause he wants them to fill the gap. He wants to see how far he’s twisted their mind to have them crave his acceptance, despite all the terrible things he’s done to them. So not only is he mentally unpredictable, but he’s also physically unpredictable too

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He probably just,,,,, wouldn’t go through any courting. He knows that if he wanted, he could easily slip his way into their life like everything’s normal, since he does look like a regular dude, but that’s not really what he’s about

If anything, he’s more the type to stalk them for a few weeks, even months, slowly making his presence more & more known until they know something funky’s going on. At that point, either they’ll snap & hunt him down, or he’ll just break in & take them. Either way, he’ll wanna have his fun even before kidnapping them—none of that trying to impress them bs

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yeah, they are, but mostly cause he’s just so quiet & reserved that people don’t expect him to be so sadistic behind closed doors. Anyone that doesn’t know him well prolly thinks he’s a big ol’ softie, which he can be when he wants to, but they severely underestimate him. The creeps that know him a little better have an inkling of an idea as to what his true colours are, but he’s just so damn mysterious & elusive that it’s hard to get a good grasp on what he’s truly like. Only Masky and maybe EJ know what he’s really all about 👀😳

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Ooh, he’s got a whole arsenal of punishments. There’s the regular physical ones like tying them up & sorta just,,, leaving them there for a while, there’s spanking, whipping, cutting—y’know, the typical punishments you might expect. He might also starve them or deny them warmth & human contact until they’re begging for his attention. He’ll also emotionally manipulate them & gaslight them until they feel super bad for doing whatever they did. Boy just likes playing a whole lotta mind games w his darling, what can I say? 🙃

Tbh, he can get pretty creative with his punishments if he’s in a sadistic mood. And he likes to keep his darling on their toes, so there’s no knowing what he might do to them. Sometimes the anticipation of the punishment is worse than the punishment itself :”)

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Hmm... it depends how bratty they’d get. If his darling is the type to fight back a lot, he’ll take away most of their rights. No outside time, no getting untied, limited bathroom breaks, the whole shebang. But if they’re a bit more on the docile side, he’ll actually be pretty lenient. Like he’ll even leave the doors unlocked & let them go out whenever they please, so long as they come back before their curfew. The more obedient they are, the more rights they’ll have, so a lot of it depends on them tbh

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Hoodie’s a pretty patient dude by default. And for his darling of whom which he adores so dearly? Oh yeah, he’s got plenty of patience. That doesn’t mean he’ll let them get away with misbehaving tho; it just means he won’t get upset when/if they do misbehave. He’ll never snap or yell at them or anything. This boy’s got a wild sense of control so, despite everything else, at least his darling doesn’t have to be afraid of him getting mad & going manic 👉👈

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If ever his darling manages to leave or successfully escape, it’s cause he let them. Either he lost interest or he wanted them to return to their lives while he watches from the shadows. If he decides to keep them alive even after releasing them, he’ll still keep tabs on them, maybe popping in every now & then to remind them that their time spent with him wasn’t just a horrifying dream

If they die, however, and it wasn’t on purpose, he’ll be pretty upset. It’ll maybe be the only time he’ll have an outburst—when no one’s around to see it, ofc. But boy will just explode in a fit of rage & regret. He’ll completely wreck the room, taking out all of his aggression on the things around him—and boy won’t hold anything back. He might even inadvertently end up self-harming in the process too :”c

He’s not usually one to feel guilt, but he’d definitely blame himself for their death. He’d try to focus on his work to distract himself, to the point where he’d almost become a shell of a person. It’d take a good few months/years before he’d get over it. But I mean, he has killed some of his pretty close friends before, so he’ll prolly recover just fine. What’s one more body of his loved one to add to the count? :)

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Nah, not really. Aside from blaming himself if they accidentally die, like I mentioned, nothing really makes that mans feel guilty. He knows what he did is wrong, he just,, doesn’t care lmfao 😅

And he probably wouldn’t let them go, either, unless he gets bored of them. But even then, the chances of letting them go instead of killing them are about 50/50; boy really just Does Not Give A Shit™️

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Homeboy used to be a super sweet dude that wouldn’t hurt a fly, but Slender’s influence kinda brought out this twisted, fucked up amoral side of him. He already stalks & kills people for a living, so what’s the harm in bringing his work home sometimes, ya know?

He just wants to watch a cutie squirm in his possession—it makes him feel alive. Not to mention, those cat-and-mouse games go a long way in providing stress-relief from work. He just wants some good ol’ fashion fun & entertainment, can you really blame him? ;)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Honestly, he,,,, he kinda likes it 😳😳 Lowkey gets off to seeing them cry ngl, it just gives him this fucked up kinda rush. If he sees them curled up and crying, he might go up to them & caress their face, cooing his usual deceit, or he’ll grip their cheeks & lick the tears off as a way of mocking them

He might cuddle or comfort them if he’s feeling particularly sweet. If they’ve been bad, however, he’s more likely to leave them crying in the corner w/o paying much mind to them. Screaming’s a similar case, too, except he might gag them & let them scream until their throat’s raw. Only if they’ve been good will he give them some positive attention uwu

How he reacts to them isolating themselves depends. If they’ve been good, he’ll find a way to coax them to stop, usually via some kind of manipulation, and if they’ve been bad, he’ll just,,, let them do as please. If they keep isolating, only then will he start losing patience. He’ll find some way to force them out of it. This includes, again, manipulation of all sorts, withholding food & warmth from them, all that “fun” kinda punishment stuff. But he won’t apologize. At that point, it almost becomes a game to see who caves in first, and homeboy will not lose

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

While he does love his darling, they tend to be more of a plaything to him. And he might not stick to just one singular darling over the course of his life. He might let some go, or he might get bored & kill some others; it all depends on their chemistry. He gets obsessed with all of them, ofc, but he might legitimately care more deeply about some than others. In fact, the ones he really cares about, he‘ll even let himself be more vulnerable towards. But if he’s vulnerable w someone & eventually grows bored of them, he’ll kill them w/o releasing them, cause he doesn’t want anyone knowing his secrets. It can be difficult to do if he still loves them, but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do

The whole thing’s really all just a game. It’s only if/when he manages to find the perfect victim that he’ll keep them forever. Someone who’s not too docile but who also isn’t afraid to fight back. They’ve gotta be pretty smart, resourceful & entertaining, too. He wants them to end up falling in love with him, but he also doesn’t want them to stop fighting him. It’s only once he finds the truly utmost perfect darling that he’ll keep them all to himself forever and ever~

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Oh god, he honestly,, doesn’t really have any weaknesses. If his darling wants to escape, they just gotta hope he’ll let them go. Either that, or they gotta find some way out of his twisted game. Even if they manage to escape, he’ll keep tabs on them, so they’ll never truly be free. Once he’s got his sights on someone, the only escape is death tbh :/

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Oh yeah, for sure lol

He’s a pretty damn sadistic boi uwu. He’d hurt them physically and emotionally; boy just doesn’t care. How much & how often he hurts them all depends on how well behaved they are 🥴

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Hm he’s not quite the type to worship his darling. He adores them & thinks they’re damn precious, but he likely won’t put them on a pedestal or anything. The only chance he’d grow to revere them is if they outsmart him & prove themselves time & time again in his little games

He also doesn’t really care what his darling thinks of him. He knows he’s a bad person & probably doesn’t deserve their love. He’s accepted it, really. But it won’t stop him from gaslighting & manipulating them until they possibly fall for him. Love just becomes part of the game at that point ¯\_(ヅ)_/¯

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He likes to thoroughly think things through before making any decisions, so he’s likely to wait a good few weeks/months before making up his mind. He just wants to be certain before putting too much effort into things, ya know?

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yeh, he probably would. If they can’t handle his mind games, they’ll break one way or another. But honestly, how cruel he is depends a lot on his darling. If they‘re nice & obedient, he’ll be sweet and rewarding as long as they don’t bore him too much, so breaking isn’t likely at that point. But if they’re super defiant, he’ll be much harsher, and if they keep ignoring his warnings, things will keep escalating until they break or he just kills them skdjkdls. He wouldnt want his perfect darling to break though, cause that’s just no fun. Boy realizes a lot of them are likely to break because he’s not exactly,,, the kindest of yanderes ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ)