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kyotakumrau · 4 years ago

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2020.12.18 The World You Live In at Zepp Namba, 1st event report

I arrived with friends past 1:15 (door time), but lettings fans in here was very smooth. And there were leaflets for sukekiyo's January shows/MADARA and Dirt waiting for us on our seats.

After the interview, live footage and music videos, staff brought two long tables on the stage with 4 chairs. Fujieda again started with greetings and introduced himself and Takabayashi, and finally asked the audience for the applause for the band members as they come on stage.

Kaoru and Kyo came then.

Kaoru wore all black, jacket, glasses.

Kyo had green hair (same as for the a knot calendar photo session), shocking pink jacket, washed denim, pink socks and white trainers. He wore sunglasses.

They both introduced themselves with simple '薫です' and '京です' but I love how different it sounded for both of them.

Fujieda again talked first about the live footage from March. Kaoru commented that with the document it was really busy. For Kyo it felt that the staff, especially the staff under the stage was restless, moving a lot, but he himself just came and sang.

Next, Fujieda outlined the events in 2020 like he did in Nagoya, he asked if they watched the audiostreams.

Kyo: Yes, I watched all of them.

F: and then yours came last.

Kyo: I could really feel member's personality showing there.

Ka: how was the order out setlists came out decided? Was it after we submitted our setlists?

Takabayashi said that no.

Next Fujieda continued with the 2020 timeline and asked about what they can remember from the Pia VIP meetings.

Ka: I thought that Mr.Higuchi was really nervous interviewing all five of us at the same time.

Kyo: first day the atmosphere was so gloom it felt like a funeral.

After that they moved to the topic of Ochita single, F sked them about filming.

Ka: it finished so quickly, in an instant!

F: did you also feel it went by very quickly, Kyo?

Kyo: not that, there was something else. When filming we were working with a new director. For the first time, I got praised when shooting. Like only 5 minutes passed but he was all 'that's great! yes! very cool!'. Huh? What was that supposed to be? Being told that so much wasn't it too much? And then he had some issue with equipment and asked to go again. When the director saw my costume first he also went 'huh wow!' And the place was so narrow.

After that they moved to the merch items for this events. F passed them their own items and Kyo just kept holding the choker, almost like being frozen.

Meanwhile Kaoru said that there's no special meaning behind deciding to produce the pouch. Then, Kyo, asked about the choker, reacted.

Kyo: isn't this super cool?

(and then again)

Kyo: it's seriously cool. It's super cool. ...it's super cool. ...it's super cool.

(all the time just holding and looking at it)

F: about the embossing?

Kyo: not that, it's just super cool.

Agreed😆🖤

Then F announced they will move to the part with questions from fans. He divided the question sheets and passed them to everyone. But Kyo just kept moving to the next page, next page, next page...

F (trying to avoid silence😂): there were many questions on similar topics, I grouped some of them, many people asked about a movie you saw recently, movie you enjoyed.

Ka: I saw 'Hansekai', a Japanese movie.

Kyo: (after a moment) I watched 'Videodrome'.

He told us a bit about the plot, that you start questioning there what is real when watching. He said it's an older movie, and I didn't catch it but there was some connection with Robocop? He said he's also watching 'Friends' and Netflix's 'Dracula'.

After that Kaoru read a question from a fan: 'F seems to be really loved by all members and staff, but can you tell us how do you actually feel about him?'

Ta kept it cool just saying F is his kohai (younger friend/colleague). Kaoru, too, said that F is cool. But then it was time for Kyo ('s rant)🤣

Kyo: I would like to say you're cool, but there are those things I told you you should try to work on. You say you can eat anything, that's okay, but the way you eat is just, too eager (talking about his eating manners), you're even biting your lips, you also ask me about things when you don't really care, and then you reply with 'yeah yeah'. Don't do it. Saying 'yeah' once is fine, but saying 'yeah yeah' is too much.

(possibly didn't get it all xD)

F: I'll be careful. ...any questions you'd like to read?

Kyo (just kept moving on to the next paper, next question, next, next): nothing good.

Kaoru to the rescue picked a question, but had comments.

Ka: 'I'm moving the day after tomorrow and I'm curious bout the life with many people together (in a big group). How is it when you have to stay together?' Is there a connection between this and moving?

He talked about touring abroad and spending time together in a bus, but they just go to sleep soon. But there are more chances to talk before the shows.

Ta: 'can you recommend us any good restaurants in Osaka?'

nothing from the band members besides heavy thinking😂

Ta: 'which do you like better, takoyaki or okonomiyaki?'

Ka: I like both, but I don't eat them much. Monja(yaki) is better though.

Kyo: Monja is good, but choboyaki, from Kyoto, is the best.

Ta: I like both.

F: I eat everything. But abroad it's more difficult.

Kyo: ...the kebab chicken story.

He told us about the time when they were touring, he always stays on the bus so he would ask a roadie to go get him something to eat. He was thinking about eating McDonalds, but then F suddenly said 'let's do kebab!'. After F said that it's not like he could say he wanted McDonalds.

F laughed but got scolded by Kyo.

Kyo: I told you not to laugh like that! Like just a moment ago!

😂

Kaoru brought up that they played at Osaka Jo Hall on this day in the past. They talked about some trouble they had and the venue staff being angry at them.

Kyo: I don't remember anything from that day. I deleted it from my memory.

F: but you chose I'll and Zan for your audiostream.

Kyo: I wanted to do it for my setlist. But then I saw on twitter few fans wrote they want me to do it, I got upset and almost changed it. Almost. In the end nowadays it's something we wouldn't do.

Ta: 'anything you're into now fashionwise?'

Kao (after thinking): nothing really. ...but I'm not wearing socks today.

F stood up to check.

Kyo: You're THAT interested???

F: just wanted to see what it looks like.

Kyo: that's really weird.

F: 'what's the 'fashion point' for you today (the main idea of your look)?

Kyo: well, what do you think?

F: pink?

Kyo: the whole outfit, you're dead!😂

F: ...but even your socks are pink?

Kyo: you really think pink is the main idea? Look at my hair, green, I couldn't wear this outfit if I had black hair. It's about total balance! You're really a weird one.

all the love😂

F: 'winter is a nabe season, so what is your favorite nabe?'

Ka ...talked a lot about different types of nabe to make at home.

Kyo: nothing in particular.

F: what nabe do you want to eat now?

Kyo: what do you think?

F: k...kimchi nabe?

Kyo: I was going to say you're dead if you say something else than kimchi nabe.

F (laughing): I got it right?? But I wanted to hear I'm dead😂

Ta: I like chanko nabe.

Ta: 'what's your favorite tea?'

Ka: don't know, I drink a lot of jasmin tea, but I just buy it in a bottle.

Kyo: any tea is okay.

F: I drink Tokucha (for dieting benefits)

(there's one question here when I zoned out) *found my missing bit: there was a question about the name for their fans, toriko. It came from a poster of Die from MACABRE era, fully dressed up, it said 'I'll make you into my slave'.

F: 'what's your favorite alcohol?'

Ka: wine, Napa Valley, I think I talked about it with Mr.Higuchi (at the Pia VIP meeting).

Kyo: I don't really drink now.

He said he used to buy some stuff to make drinks, cocktails, but doesn't drink now.

F: 'what's the most fun moment or something interesting you've done recently?'

Ka: so we've never played here before, at Zepp Namba. When we arrived we talked together in the dressing room. It was nice to have a chance to chat.

Kyo: same really.

Next, F talked about the additional streamed event and the filming.

Ka told us he felt funny when filming (with motion capture) because one of the sensors to record his movement was exactly where he usually plays the guitar so he had to hold the guitar a bit higher than normal (he showed us how it looked and it was quite funny).

Kyo said that when he was filming, and he went second, Die was first, they had to wear costumes like a Mojimoji-kun (like a black skin tight onesie), he felt Die looked much better, and it really made him feel bad, that his style was too 'minimal'. He felt shocked and didn't really like the filming.

F asked everyone to join them on New Year's Eve and next asked band members for the last comments.

Kaoru: We're not able to do concerts and it's very difficult now to gather together like this, so I'm really grateful you all came. We're thinking a lot about what we can do next year.

Kyo: It must have been difficult to come here today, I'm sorry. And 'おおきに・ookini・thank you/sorry for the trouble.

F: oh sudden Kansai dialect.

Kyo: I'm from Kansai.

F: It's fine if Kansai person uses Kansai dialect.

Kyo (turned to fans again): ookini.

Kyo waved to the audience, then they stood up and stood looking at fans a bit, bowed and finally left.

(unfortunatelly I only went to the 1st slot, but might dedicate my time on the train to Sendai tomorrow to collect some bits from twitter!)

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #kaoru #薫 #the world you live in #zepp namba #🖤

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hockeyboysiguess · 4 years ago

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dear winter | c. parakyo

a/n: this one was entirely inspired by and written to dear winter by ajr. highly recommend listening to this while you read. this is your reminder that vince dunn isn’t the only player on the blues. enjoy!

warnings: a little swearing. otherwise, alllllll fluff.

word count: 6K

You sighed as you felt a firm kick to your bladder. You had to give it to her, your baby had great aim, something she’s definitely inherited from her dad since you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball even if you were being coached through each movement. You rubbed your growing bump softly, a vain attempt to get her to relax, before you grabbed the full file box. Colton would be upset if he knew you were moving boxes without him. You loved Colton, god, did you ever love your husband, but he was treating you like you were going to break any second. He had as soon as you’d told him you were pregnant. You tried to fight him on it, but if Colton wanted something to go a specific way, there was pretty much nothing you could physically do about it. He was a physical immovable force. You settled for doing things when he wasn’t home.

You huffed out a loud breath as you sat down on the couch with what would be your fourth box of the day. You had been trying to go through everything in the room that was going to become “Little P’s” nursery, as Colton called her. You were also using it as an excuse to actually clean out your catch-all spare bedroom instead of just moving the problem of having too much stuff from the bedroom to the attic.

You sucked in a deep breath before blowing off the layer of dust from the top of the box. You lifted the lid and sighed. It was absolutely packed with papers and notebooks, Colton’s notebooks. He religiously kept notebooks, not a diary, not a journal. He rolled his eyes whenever you called them that, telling you that they weren’t diaries or journals because he wrote anything in them, from grocery lists, to hockey plays he thought of, gift ideas for you, anything. He also refused to get rid of a single one, much to your chagrin, but the least you could do was label them with the dates they contained to organize them. Thank god you’d pulled the label maker out for the last box so you didn’t have to get up. Getting up wasn’t your specialty anymore, thanks to Little P being a little less little since her father was a large human being.

You cracked open the first notebook after shaking off more dust, flipping to the first page to grab the date and the last page for the final one. Colton’s notebooks had never been any of your business. You thought he had every right to his private thoughts, something that had absolutely floored him when you started dating. Every other girl had tried to read over his shoulders, sneak a peak when he wasn’t around, but you trusted Colton, which is what you’d told him then and still told him now every time he picked up another notebook. The next notebook opened with a silly drawing, it made you giggle, but you didn’t pry further, simply adding your label and moving on to the next one.

Your brows furrowed when you came to a notebook toward the bottom. Unlike the rest, which were heavily worn in, the pages wrinkled and fanning out, making them appear thicker, this one was only partially started. The wear stopped about three-quarters of the way through it. You found it odd. Colton always finished everything he started, even if it was virtually impossible for him to do so. He was the least wasteful person you’d ever met. You shook off your thoughts. His notebooks were his business, not yours.

Still, regardless of you trying otherwise, your eyes flitted to the first entry in this notebook. The start of it pulled your eyes in unwillingly. It was a letter, a letter to someone else. Your heart sank and you slammed the notebook shut. No, you thought. Colton would never, but then who was he writing to? Your heart was aching in your chest. You trusted and loved your husband more than you ever thought possible for yourself, but your mind was running through possibilities and you needed to know. When your eyed scanned the first words, the tears started to slip out even though you willed them not to.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope they don't make fun of you When you grow up and go to school, okay? 'Cause Winter is a badass name

Colton’s words continued and your tears kept flowing.

Sorry if you don’t love it, baby girl, but I do and unfortunately for you, one me and one other person get to vote on it and I’m all in for it. Also, I’m not really sure where I got the idea to start this, but I’m two sentences in and I hope one day you think this is as cool as I do right now.

Anyway, I wanted to start by telling you what made me think of your name. I was walking through Forest Park (I’m playing for the Blues right now, in case that ever changes, so I’m in St. Louis) because I was having a pretty terrible day. I botched something at practice, couldn’t get the play right, and coach got angry at me. You probably know I don’t handle people being angry with me well because I doubt that’s ever going to go away. I found out the woman I was seeing actually cheated on me (I know, weird to read from me, but I hope you stick through this one) and I’m missing my family a lot today. (Side note: please come home more, Winter. I love you.)

So I was having a terrible day and decided to take a walk. It was chilly, but sort of comforting. It smelled like it was about to snow. I really hope you know that smell too, sort of like Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year, as I also assume you know. Then, it started to snow. It was that beautiful, promising fluffy snow that makes me think of hot chocolate and peppermint and family. That’s when I really thought about you for the first time, Winter. I thought about us outside in our front yard, your mom on the front steps, and you catching snowflakes on your tongue. I thought about how you’d ask me to build a snowman with you, even though the snow wasn’t even sticking to the ground. I thought about you, Win. Winter. Some people hate winter. Some people love it. That’s also why it’s your name, Win. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, Winnie, but that’s okay. You’re not meant to be for everyone. You’re meant to be exactly who are you as you’re reading this.

I'm hoping that some day, I can meet you on this Earth But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

Love, Dad :)

You placed your hand gingerly on your swollen stomach as the tears flowed freely. Colton wrote the first letter in the notebook seven and a half years before today. He’d been writing to her, the little girl still growing in your belly, for years, before you’d even moved to St. Louis let alone met Colton for the first time. Of course Winter would take that moment to kick you in the stomach. Winter. You loved her name too. You’d been racking your brain all day since you’d found out that Little P was a girl, not the boy you were convinced you were having based on your apparently flawed mother’s intuition, so when you found out Little P was a girl, you’d be wracking your brain all day for both a way to tell Colton and what you might name her. Somehow, even though he didn’t know yet, Colton had already taken care of another worry of yours, a man who didn’t know how to love you wrong.

You couldn’t stop yourself from turning to the next page to read the next entry. Unlike his notebook he used every day, the next entry picked up a few weeks later.

Dear Winter, I hope you talk to girls Or boys or anyone you like

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written to you, but I heard something out a bar that made me come home and immediately grab this notebook. Sorry if this is a little unclear. Dad’s just a little drunk right now, but I want you to know how important this is and I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.

This guy at the bar was being... absolutely awful, Win. This girl was just trying to have a good time with her friends. She was wearing a pin on her jacket with the pride flag on it. This guy started asking her about it. She shrugged, said she was bi, and she moved on. Except he didn’t move on. I heard him talking to his friends, talking terribly about her. He was talking about her sexuality and what it could do for him, how good it would be for him that she was bi. It didn’t sit with me right, so I warned her what he said and she said something that stuck with me so I wanted to tell it to you. She said, “God, thank you for telling me. I’m so fucking tired of guys sexualizing my sexuality for their own sexual gratification. It has nothing to do with them, you know? It’s my sexuality. It’s for me and me alone. I thought it got through all of the bad stuff when my parents kicked me out for it. It just keeps on coming, you know? Fucking sucks.”

Winnie, whoever you like, boys, girls, both, neither, people who don’t identify any particular way, if you know deep down you’re not my little girl, but you’re my son, I’m always, always, always, always going to love you. I will always be in your corner, Win. My love for you will never change. My support for you with never waiver. I will stand with you a pride parades. I will advocate for you. I will do anything I can to make sure you know you are loved and supported and that you can always come to me. I will always protect you, Winter. I will always love you.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t come out yet, the door is open, Win. And I’m standing right there, arms wide open, ready to love the truest version of you, the version of you that makes you feel like your most authentic, happy self. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.

Love, Dad

You felt your heart pound hard in your chest. Colton had never wavered on loving whoever your baby was going to be, but this, this was something special. You took a deep breath and looked down at your bump again.

“He loves you so much,” you told her softly as you gently rubbed your bump. “You have the best dad in the entire world. I just hope my genes don’t screw you up too much.”

You flipped to the next entry, laughing to yourself at how it was filled with entirely with car buying advice. Apparently, Colton has just bought a car the day he wrote it and he was keen on sharing his newfound wisdom with Winter. He also talked about how he was going to help Winter buy her first car and exactly what that would entail. It was such dad advice, but somehow it was perfect and it was Colton.

You kept reading, an entry an unknown amount of dates deep, caught your eye. You weren’t sure how deep into this you really were. You were flying through entries, Colton’s loving words pulling you through each page at a lightening pace. This one caught you eye though.

It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me But dear Winter, I hope you like your name You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

You think your mom is going to like that I’m cursing in these letters? Probably not. But hopefully she’ll deal. I mean, I play hockey. Cursing is part of the game basically. I hope I teach you well. :)

You know, Win, I saw a couple out at a restaurant today and they were so in love. I, on the other hand, got stood up on a date today. Super fun, right? And super weird to hear from your dad, but it’s the truth. As smooth as I’ve tried to make myself look your whole life, Dad’s not really all that fucking smooth, Winnie.

But anyway, I wanted to tell you that it doesn’t matter if you ever find someone, Win. I wanted to tell you this because I need to hear it right now and even if when you first read this, you don’t need to hear it, I’m betting at some point in your life you will need it. You can achieve every single dream you have without a partner. You can have the life you want. You can have a family. You can make a beautiful life for yourself all on your own. Because you aren’t looking for your other half. You’re a goddamn full, beautiful, powerful person all by yourself. You are complete just as you are and that’s fucking amazing, Winnie.

Am I writing this for you in the future or me now? That’s debatable, but someday you’re going to need a reminder that you are a galaxy of beautiful, stunning possibilities. You are the sun, moon, stars, planets, and everything in between. A galaxy doesn’t need anyone or anything else. Always remember that anyone you let into your life should be in wonder at the galaxy that is you.

Sorry, Dad’s going to get off his weird soapbox now and go to bed. I’ll write you soon. Pinky promise :)

Love always, Dad

You gripped the notebook tightly in your hands, careful not to wrinkle the pages. You briefly thought about how you’d never read one of his notebooks before so maybe pregnancy hormones weren’t the best time to start, but this notebook was for someone. It was for the baby in your belly, so you kept reading.

Dear Winter,

I met someone today. I don’t want to say too much, in case it doesn’t work out. It never really works out for me, does it, Winnie? I hope a) that your mom has much better luck with men than I do with women and b) that you inherit her luck. At least I got her phone number, right? Maybe I can figure out how to sounds less like a guy that really like writing in notebooks and puzzles and more like a guy who is all about parties and adventure?

Actually, no, Win. No. Don’t listen to that. Be whoever you want to be, whatever that looks like. If some guy doesn’t like you because you’re a homebody, reject him and toss him out in the street. He’s clearly no good. Be whoever you want to be, Win. A homebody, a busy body, whoever that is, I’ve got your back for the rest of my life.

(Side note: this girl is super, super pretty and she’s wicked smart with an incredible sense of humor. Kind of hoping this one works out? If not, then I guess on to the next one, right? If not, I’ve got to meet your mom one day, Win. We’ll see when it happens, I guess.)

Love, Dad

Your eyes scanned back up the page to the date. You breath hitched it your throat when you saw it and your hand came over your mouth as your eyes started to fill with tears again. It was about you. That was the day you met Colton for the first time. That memory was burned into your brain forever because it was honestly one of the worst days of your life, until Colton walked in.

You were about to give up. Four cups of coffee at varying degrees of strength had done nothing to stimulate an idea in your brain. Well, it would have been five cups of coffee if you hadn’t spilled the third cup down yourself and stained your favorite sweatshirt that was now a crumpled mess in your backpack. Despite that, you were still face to face with a blank Word document that needed to be six pages long by midnight tonight, which was less than twelve hours away. Procrastination always got the better of you. Today was no exception.

You had opened your day with a trip to the dentist and of course, you had a cavity. You didn’t realize until you got back to your car that your house key wasn’t on your key ring, so you couldn’t go home and your roommate was going to be out all day, so you’d had to post up in your fourth favorite local coffee shop as shops one through three were completely packed. You’d had to park six blocks over because you couldn’t find a spot. All of this chaos had wasted almost two hours you were supposed to be working. Then there was the spilled coffee, which you spilled because your terrible ex-boyfriend had shown up and tried to talk to you. In an effect to escape, the coffee had gotten spilled. To boot, after actually drank coffee number three, your mom had called you and told you your childhood dog had cancer. It was just one of those days. She was fifteen, so you couldn’t say she didn’t live a good, long life. Still, it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Your music was blaring in your eyes. You were rapidly flipping through Spotify trying to find something that might provide some inspiration. You sighed and rested against the back of the chair as your head fell back. You let out a long sigh and carded your fingers through your hair. Ideas or not, you needed to get started. That went out the window when you saw a large man standing next to your table when you lifted your head. He gave you a sweet smile and a small wave. Your eyes rolled up and down him quickly. He was massive, broader and taller than most people you knew. His size could make him intimidating, but there was something cautious and nervous about the way he moved. One of his large hands was shifting around his iced coffee. The other was fidgeting in his pocket. His smile was kind and inviting. His shoulder were low, hunkering down as if to try and look smaller than he was. It was his eyes that took your breath away for a second, a pair of beautiful baby blues framed by dark glasses.

You yanked one of your headphones out of your ears and raised your eyebrows at him.

“Hi,” he said softly. “Um, all the other tables are full. Do you mind if it sit? I’ve got an appointment in half an hour, so I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

You almost stuttered, but pulled yourself together in time to say, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He thanked you with a sweeter, wider smile as he dropped down into the chair opposite you. He dwarfed it, and the small table you had stationed yourself at. He was just slightly too big for everything around him, but he didn’t seem to mind much.

“I’m Colton, by the way,” he told you as he opened up a book you hadn’t realized he’d been carrying.

You told him your name softly before you tried to get back to work. Every minute you had was precious at this point to meeting your deadline. Beautiful man or not, you had to get this done. Except he seemed to have other ideas.

“What are you working on?” he asked you after a few minutes. You’d caught him eyeing you as you finally got some sort of an idea, so your fingers were blazing across your keyboard.

“Oh, just this project for work,” you answered flatly, not even looking up from your screen or pausing your furious typing to answer. “I got into this fight with my boss about it because I think her premise is wrong, so I’ve been having some issues trying to write this condensed summary of her position considering I disagree with it. But, hey, a job’s a job, right? At least I’m employed enough to keep my cat fed, the hungry bastard, and support my own coffee habits without a sugar daddy.”

Colton laughed and like your life had sudden become a movie, the sound took your breath away. You couldn’t stop a smile from pulling up the corners of your lips as he laughed. His laugh sort of made you forget how embarrassing what you’d just said was.

“Is he fat?” Colton asked before quickly adding. “Your hungry cat, is he a fat bastard as well as a hungry one?”

“The fattest bastard of them all,” you laughed as grabbed your phone from next to your laptop to show him a photo.

Colton whistled when he saw the photo and nodded softly.

“Put a ribbon on him and you could enter him as a prized heifer in the county fair,” Colton joked, making you smile widely, your first genuinely thrilled smile all day.

“I got him fat from the shelter,” you tried to explain. “I’m trying to put him on a diet, but he’s just not having it. Honestly can’t blame him. Diets are dumb. But the fatso won’t exercise. I got him one of those cat wheels, like a giant hamster wheel but for cats. He barely fits on it and even on the days he finds his balance enough to fit on it, he won’t use it. I’ve sort of thrown in the towel.”

“I think he’s decided how he wants to be in life and you might just have to accept it,” Colton told you. “I’ll stop bugging you, sorry. I said I wouldn’t.”

With that, he turned his attention to his book and you went back to your paper. You sat across from him for the next thirty minutes, occasionally taking glances over at him. You found out later on that he keep looking up at you over the top edge of his book the whole time. You somehow just never caught each other.

As Colton got up to leave, he paused for a second with his phone in his hand, spinning it nervously.

“Um, I know this is probably sort of random and you’re probably not interested, but would you maybe want to get coffee again sometime you don’t have to do work?” Colton asked you, stumbling over practically ever other word on his way to asking you on a date.

You smiled softly as the memory faded out. You placed your hand on your bump again. Thank god the first three coffee shops had been full that day. You gently turned to the next page then the next one and the next one, stopping when the start of another grabbed you.

Dear Winter, don't move too far away And please don't say I'm hovering When I text you to ask about your day I wanna hear about your day Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

I’m sorry if you ever think I’m hovering, Win, but I promise you, I just want to hear about your day, every single day. Sorry if you move far away for some incredible opportunity and I don’t handle it super well. You know me, your old man, I just want you to be able to catch up with you whenever I want to. I’m a little selfish that way, I guess.

Who knows? Maybe by the time you move, teleportation will be real :)

But if you can, Winter, try and stay close to home. I miss my parents a lot, more than I can properly explain. I know you’re going to be so cool and smart and amazing and you won’t need me someday, but I hope you want me around anyway, even though I’m a lot sometimes.

(Side note: That girl I talked about a while ago, she’s the one who made me think of this letter. I told her I was scared I was hovering too much, that I was smothering her, and she told me she wanted me around even more. I think you’d like her, Win.)

Hold on for someone who cares about you exactly as you are and loves the way you care about people. You shouldn’t have to change the way you care for someone. They should just feel it.

Love, Dad

(P.S. Whenever you read this, please come home for a visit, even if you were here yesterday. I’ve definitely missed you since then.)

Your mind flashed back to Colton’s first road trip a few months after you started dating. You had a busy day, absolutely packed with meetings and work, so you’d barely had any time to glance at your phone all day. When you finally had a second to glance at it on the way to your car, you groaned. Two missed calls and four texts from Colton. Of course, the day he managed to find some time away from the guys to call you when you were supposed to be done with work, you had been kept late and missed him.

You were already dialing his number as you dropped into your driver’s seat to begin the traffic-filled journey home. Colton answered on the second ring.

“Hey.”

Your brows furrowed at his tone. He was trying hard to sound calm, but you could hear the nerves edging at each letter. He swallowed hard, hard enough you could hear it over the phone.

“What’s up, babe?” you asked him as you slowly backed out of your parking space. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” he said too quickly. He knew he’d said it too quickly the second it had left his mouth. He sighed and you heard some rustling on his end of the phone, following by a door being shut. “I’m sorry I bugged you today.”

“What?” you asked, even more confused than you had been previously as you turned on your right blinker. “You didn’t bug me, Colt. I asked you to call if you were free anytime outside my work hours. I just ended up working late today, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay.”

You could tell there was still something bothering him. His pitch was too high, responses too short. He was still on edge, something bigger dancing on the tip of his tongue. He knew you knew. You could read him like an open book even through the phone and he knew better than to not tell you when he was upset. “Relationships thrive with windows and doors open,” was what you always told him, and it takes two people to keep them open all the time.

“Am I hovering?” he blurted out. “Am I bothering you? I just, when I called you again, the guys started-”

“Those idiots that couldn’t keep a girl if they had a carefully curated list of instructions from the girl they liked to tell them how to keep her? They don’t know anything,” you jumped in. “You’re not bothering me, Colt. You never bother me. I want as much of you as I can get. If my life was you just and me, having our favorite lazy Saturday where we go to the farmer’s market, play Scrabble, make bad cocktails, and cook unnecessarily complex dinners before we watch some niche movie practically no one else on the planet has ever seen, I’d be so unbelievably happy. I want as much of you as I can have, Colt, and sometimes I feel like I’m asking for too much. You’re not hovering. I want you right here.”

“You’re not asking for too much,” he replied. Of course, Colton would ignore everything you had said to comfort him in favor of comforting you. “You’re sure I’m not too much? I can do less, if that would be better for you. I can, fuck, I don’t know, whatever you need.”

“Colton, I love you,” you sighed. “That’s the easiest thing in the world to say to you. I love you, Colton. I love loving you. I love being loved by you. At least, god, I hope you love me back because now I’m realizing we’ve never actually said that and I’m sort of freaking out, but I love learning to love you better and I love finding new ways to show you I love you. Today’s way is actually telling you I do, I guess.”

“Of course I love you too.”

Colton’s words had reminded you of a prayer, a prayer of a grateful man whose longing, desperate words to something out there that he’d whispered ages ago had finally been answered. You didn’t know how long he’d felt it, definitely longer than you, but love wasn’t a competition. There wasn’t a yardstick, a to-do list, or a formula. Love was whatever you made it to be. You loved Colton, and finally told him, and he loved you, and finally told you. That day, that was all either of you needed.

That day was so clear in your mind. It was the day that set your life on the path it was on, the day that really had started the path that ended up with little Winter being more than a figment in Colton’s mind when he wrote these letters. She was real and you were going to meet her in just a few short months. Your mind wandered forward, seeing Winter’s wide baby blue eyes, you imagined she’d look like Colton as well, hoping your genes didn’t taint his too much to ruin her, as Colton had her sitting on his broad shoulders, securing her safely to him with hands around her ankles as you walked through the zoo. She would be pointing at each animal, tugging on his hair, making sure he saw each and every one. He would be patient, kind, and caring, matching Winter’s excitement in kind with each animal. You would catch him on Google the night before, making sure he knew at least one random, uncommon fact about each one for her, just to make her day. That was the kind of thing Colton said he would do for her to you when you’d shown him the positive pregnancy test, and one of an ever-expanding, never finished lists of reason you wanted to have kids with him.

You sighed as you felt her flip over in your stomach. She was constantly in motion, something that brought you peace because it told you she was healthy, but as much comfort as it brought you, it brought you more discomfort at the very feeling. You shifted on the couch as you turned to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope you let me take a shot with you on your twenty-first But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

I really hope you let me take a shot with you on your birthday. I’m asking because I was at a restaurant early today and saw the dad order two shots of tequila at a five star restaurant for him and his daughter, who had to be about twenty-one when her birthday dessert came out. She thought it was hilarious and you could tell she she did the shot with him that she loved her dad a ton. So naturally I thought of doing it with you. I know you’re definitely not going to think I’m cool by then, and you could be living in Canada instead where the drinking age is lower, but either way, I hope you don’t mind taking a shot with your old man.

But, even if you don’t think I’m cool, even if we have to do the shot together over Facetime, even if Facetime doesn’t exist and you have to text me to ask me what it means when you read this, I hope we do one together. I promise, your old man could drink once, Win!

So, go ask your mom and I’ll break out the good tequila for you! :)

Love, Dad

You would definitely have to approve of the aforementioned tequila shot now that he’d been planning it for almost twenty-five years based on when this was written and when Winter would be twenty-one base on her estimated birthday. You laughed lightly and shook your head. Colton was already winning parenting debates with you and he didn’t even know it. Actually, maybe he did. It would be Colton to have planned this all out just so. You smiled as you flipped to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your mom I gotta find a girl that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot Winter, it won't be too long First, I just gotta find your mom

This whole writing to you as I’ve looked for your mom is how this whole notebook started.

And Winter, boy do I have some good news about your existence for you.

That girl I mentioned a while back? I asked her to marry me today. And somehow, she said yes.

I found her, Win. I found your mom. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my entire like, that is, until I meet you. And, Winnie, she’s so excited to meet you too someday.

Here’s hoping she likes your name :)

Love, Dad

Your eyes were filled with tears again and you were so caught up in the moment, you missed the sound of Colton fusing with the lock on the front door as he entered the house.

“Baby? Why are you crying? Is everything okay? Is Little P okay? How was the appointment?”

Colton’s questions were flying out of his mouth almost faster than you could understand. You heard his gym bag hit the floor and his feet hit heavy on the hardwood as he rushed over to you. Colton rounded the back of the couch and stopped when he saw what was in your hands. You closed the notebook gently in your hands, careful with the soft leather binding, before pulling the elastic over to keep it closed. You turned your head toward your husband. He was white as a sheet, nervousness coating his features. His baby blue eyes were jumping between your puffy eyes, your stomach, and the notebook in your hands impossibly fast. He swallowed hard, waiting for you to say something because his mind was running too fast toward the brick wall of having to ask you what you thought about what was in your hands to actually speak.

“Colt,” you breathed out softly before placing a hand on your stomach again, “Little P is a girl.”

“A girl? Really? I’m going to be a girl dad? Really?”

Colton’s voice cracked with each word and tears began to spill over almost instantly as he sank onto the couch beside you. Hesitantly, as if he didn’t know if he was still allowed to, he reached a hand out toward your stomach. You grabbed his large hand with both of yours and placed it on your swollen belly.

“Do you want to tell her what her name is?” you asked him softly.

His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He took his bottom lip between his teeth and looked at with cautious, hesitant joy.

“You like it?” Colton asked you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I love her name, Colton, and since you came up with it, I think she should hear her for the first time from her incredible dad who already loves her more than she can possibly understand.”

You reached a hand out to cup Colton’s face as you spoke. He leaned softly into your hand, his free hand cupping over yours, completely dwarfing it. He smiled at you softly before he placed a gentle kiss onto your palm, a silent way of telling you he loved you. His fingers wrapped around your hand, pulling it down to your belly along with his as his eyes shifted to it.

“Hey, Winter, it’s me, your dad.”

#colton parayko #colton parayko imagine #colton parayko writing #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey writing #hockey imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl blurbs #nhl imagine

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disconnected-from-reality · 5 years ago

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Fanfic Rec: 00Q Part 3

It’s been more than a year! I have totally been procrastinating in doing this if I’m truly honest. A lot of things happened in my life as well! There are good and bad things, but what matters most is that I still have a number of fics to recommend for you! I haven’t stopped reading, don’t worry.

Also I think it’s a good time to post my list. The next Bond movie has released its trailer and the 00Q crumbs we got from the trailer got a lot of shippers back on board. If you’re that person, you might want to check these fanfics out!

To see the other parts, click here for part 1 and for part 2.

Let Love In by dhampir72 [Words: 21,437 | Teens and Up Audiences] They're still learning that love is more of a journey and less of a destination. [A series of interconnected vignettes].

Ulysses by girlbookwrm [Words: 89,065 | Teens and Up Audiences] “Paperwork for the new head of Q-Branch,” Tanner said. “Of course.” The words were like glass in his throat. Smoke inhalation was a bitch. His brain felt slow and foggy, like it was full of smoke too. “Who shall I take them to?” M lifted one white brow. “They’re for you, Quartermaster.” Bond and Q are drawn together by names, work, and a certain Aston Martin. In which Q is kidnapped once, Bond is poisoned twice, and Eve is a badass on at least three occasions. AKA that time I tripped and wrote 80,000 words of 00Q. All titles unapologetically stolen from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Espionage is a Family Affair by nagapdragon [Words: 78.403 | Mature] It's common knowledge that angels make good weapons and terrible soldiers. They're hard to kill, hard to catch, and leave a swathe of destruction wherever they go. That's why MI6 likes them. James Bond, Agent 007, is one of the most devastating weapons MI6 will admit to having. Explosions follow his every whim and he's nearly impossible to kill, despite the best efforts of terrorists worldwide. He's second only to the weapons MI6 pretends don't exist- archangels are only a theory, after all. Aren't they?

Bond to You by therunawaypen [Words: 5,749 | Mature] Bond isn't a name. It's a rare breed of people that have designated soulmates, to whom a Bond will be eternally faithful to. Every child dreams of being a Bond's Chosen soulmate. James uses his status as a Bond to seduce many a mark into thinking they're his Chosen, while deep down he resents his identity because he has been unable to find his Chosen. Then he meets Q that fateful day in front of that painting.

How Q Hacked Online Dating by JayPendragon [Words: 23,836 | Explicit] “How does that lead to…?” Eve waves her hand at the mess behind Q’s back. Q feels his expression morph into a sly grin. “I have a new plan. I’m going to stay on these dating platforms, but I’m going to treat them as databases. Rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.” In which Q works in the private sector, still winds up friends with Eve, and applies science to his love life. Obviously, Eve gets involved.

Leading Edge by Batsutousai [Words: 7,251 | Teens and Up Audiences] All fae-born were raised on stories of how cruel dragon-borns were, how they had no care for anyone outside themselves and their greed, that they would sell their own mother's soul to the devil before allowing themselves to be hurt. They were told that all dragon-borns were to be killed on sight, and taught spells that would do just that, if ever given the chance. It would be just Q's luck that one of his agents was dragon-born.

Pen and Paper by Salios [Words: 5,300 | Teens and Up Audiences] Q wrung his hands anxiously, teeth gnawing at his lower lip. It was a bad habit, biting his lip, but he couldn’t help it when he was nervous. And he really did have reason to be nervous. Well, excited to the point of nearly crippling nervousness, actually. Today he’d finally get to meet his boyfriend of three years. For the first time ever.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron [Words: 10,538 | Teens and Up Audiences] “I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.” “Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate. “My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker. (or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)

A Common Solution by SailorChibi [Words: 17,654 | Teens and Up Audiences] Bond has been ignoring his biological needs. Boothroyd is retiring and MI6 is in need of a new Quartermaster. What do these two things have in common? They both have an easy solution... if only M can get Bond to extract a certain hacker NOTE: This does not have the “James Bond/Q” tag, but I’ll add it in my list anyway.

Taken by Nana_41175 [Words: WIP | Explicit] Or, the cheating fic that *nearly* is! Q is engaged to be married, but not to Bond. Excerpt: Bond blinked. “Boyfriend? What do you mean, boyfriend?” “I mean exactly that,” said Moneypenny. “Honestly, what’s the matter with you? Q’s been seeing someone for over a year. And if I’m not mistaken, Daniel is going to pop the question on him this evening. Dan asked me for advice on the ring, after all.” NOTE: This is currently a WIP fanfic, but it’s almost done with 2 chapters left to be posted. Would be a bummer if I don’t add it, right?

His Keeper by Nana_41175 [Words: 45,482 | Explicit] Protecting the Quartermaster entails a special set of circumstances, and Q is the last one to know. Excerpt: “Your identity has been compromised,” M said as he leaned forward in his chair, his features grim even as his tone remained even and calm. “I am standing you down from all your duties in Q branch. Kindly hand in all personal computers and devices. I am placing you on administrative leave, effective immediately. You need to disappear for a while, Q, for your own safety. Think of this as the holiday you never had these past two years. We will get down to the bottom of this and repair the damage done; otherwise I shall have to ask you to step down. ”Q gaped at him, finally speechless. “At any rate, quartermasters are entitled to double-O agents as bodyguards, when the need arises, and he personally volunteered,” M continued as though he’d not just dropped the equivalent of a bomb and a death sentence through slow torture rolled into one, “and I do agree that under the circumstances, 007 would be the best choice as your bodyguard.”

Daddy and Uncle James by 1MissMolly [Words: 26,115 | Teens and Up Audiences] James Bond can remain cool and collected in the most trying of circumstances. He is an expert at hand to hand combat and marksman with numerous weapons. He can seduce any woman or man he chooses. He has the highest success rate at achieving his goals, and he has his sights on the young Quartermaster. The only thing standing in his way is the only thing that will surely defeat him. A six year old girl named Elizabeth Park. Bond's planned seduction of Q is interrupted by the arrival of Q's daughter, Lizzie.

Treason, Traitors, and Treachery by Kryptaria, zooeyscigar [Words: 63,230 | Mature] All James Bond wanted was a quiet holiday on his luxury motoryacht on the Costa del Sol. Time to recuperate and think about his future with MI6. But his plans get hijacked when a traitor to the crown returns, bringing news of an even greater threat to MI6. And the traitor isn't working alone.Thankfully, neither is James.

Playing the Part by ElektricAngel [Words: 23,116 | Teens and Up Audiences] James Bond comes into Q Branch after a mission with all of his equipment accounted for and in tact, and a complete mission report in Q's inbox. Q is pleasantly surprised and more than a little suspicious. Rightly so, as it happens, because Bond makes an unusual request of him. And yet, his license to kill is not the only thing that makes the man difficult to say no to...

Breathe With Me by Flantastic [Words: 7,575 | Explicit] When James Bond goes back to MI6 following his disastrous relationship with Dr Madeleine Swann, Q wants nothing to do with him. Then there's an accident in Q-Branch...

Bittersweet by dr_girlfriend [Words: 14,229 | Explicit] The first time Bond flirted with Q, it was purely out of self-defense. The second time Bond flirted with Q was largely manipulation. The third time Bond flirted with Q, he just wanted to feel something. The fourth time Bond flirted with Q was out of sheer boredom.Somehow, flirting with Q became something of a habit for Bond.And then, it became something else.

A Bond of Matrimony by enigma_kar [Words: 12,691 | Mature] The one where Bond’s next mission involves going undercover with Q. Includes: banter, fake marriage, espionage, car chases, life-or-death situations, and Moneypenny taking far too much delight in the whole affair.

as permanent as stone cathedrals by pdameron [Words: 6,002 | Teens and Up Audiences] Q has been in love for two years, six months, and twelve days when James Bond walks away, leaving him with a bleeding head and a broken heart on a dark and noisy London bridge.

just like old times (please don’t ever change) by Rosslyn [Words: 5,173 | Teens and Up Audiences] Sometimes when Q is alone in his workshop and there is an experiment that needs to be supervised and he can’t go home and he can’t sleep, he watches Bond’s vitals.

How Much Love Can the Weight of Water Carry? by 00QEros (Dassandre) [Words: 39,549 | Explicit] Though Bond returned to MI6 after his ill advised jaunt around the globe with Madeleine Swann, Q still struggles with his own feelings for the agent in spite of the fact that Bond is clearly not the same man as the one who walked away from their friendship on Westminster Bridge. James regrets having left London and MI6, but it is nothing in comparison to the remorse he feels for abandoning Q. However, James has made repairing their friendship his primary goal in the hope of gaining something he never realised he needed as badly as he does. But Bond really hasn’t had a good time of it lately. Breaking his leg in a freak accident, James camps out at Q’s flat when the white-washed, soulless walls of Medical become too much for him to tolerate. Unfortunately, his leg is only the beginning of Bond’s health problems, and Q is conscripted into being James’ caretaker. Confined to the close quarters of Q’s flat, the Quartermaster finds himself opening back up to the agent, but will the two men find their way to one another as they should have done years ago, or is time no longer on their side?

So I guess that’s it for now! I still have a couple in my belt, but most of them are still WIP so I’d keep them for now. I’ll be adding them once they are finished.

#00Q #James Bond #Q(James Bond)#fanfic rec #fic rec

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aures-rose · 4 years ago

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Dear Diary,

A lot has happened and I don’t want to write about it all but… I guess I should. It’s March now, my birthday month. The second triwizard task has passed and things are supposed to be calm now until it gets closer to the next one but they’re not really.

Tom sent me a birthday gift earlier this week. The first gift of the year. I didn’t even know he knew when my birthday was, but he sent me a unicorn soft-toy and it’s holding a heart that says ‘You’re Magical!’ I’m going to pin the note here, but I don’t think he’s very good at writing, so don’t make fun of him.

Deer Faryfayce,

Happy Birdday!

Your big frend,

Tom

I honestly can’t believe he remembered my birthday never mind that he got me a gift. I’m really glad he did though, I mean, it must mean I’m important right? Like, we really are almost best friends? Maybe we can be actual best friends now. I was really happy about it until I found out that he got Talula a necklace for her thirteenth birthday. That's such a grown up gift. It's the kind of gift you get the girl you like, not like a soft-toy. You get your little sister a soft-toy. I know I shouldn't care, it's not like we're dating or anything, I'm dating Jamie and I like Jamie. I don't like Tom. But it still bothers me. Maybe it's because he called me a baby.

Anyways, Lion’s Den happened on Sunday and… Well, it started out okay, if you pretend Alasdair wasn’t there. And Dumb Vicky… but Dumb Vicky brought sea salt caramel cake and we were all meant to be celebrating March birthdays like mine and Andie's. I gave Andie some cake and she ended up knocking the plate into my face. I was covered with icing and cake so I jumped over the couch and smeared cake on her too and everything was just fun, you know? Andie wasn't being mean to Jamie. There was no fighting. Artie and Dumb Vicky and the prefect, Bree, all left and so it was just us and Lex and Alasdair and Ramon who came in to eat cake but he started picking on Andie and so she and I teased him back. At some point though, Andie was teasing and going at Ramon, so I ended up full body binding both of them. I really only meant to get Ramon but then Andie stepped in the way. Anyways, Alasdair and Lex left and I asked Jamie if they had a marker. I was hoping they’d go back to the dorms so I could release Andie but Jamie’s an artist so they actually had a marker on them. And they were all like ‘I don’t feel good about this, you should let them go, Ressy.’ Which sounded like a terrible idea because they’d both be real angry at me and if they were free, they’d be able to curse me back. Anyways, Jamie got all serious and was like ‘I’m going to wait in the clocktower. I know you’ll make the choice that’s right for you.’ And so when they were gone I freed Andie. But Andie thought I /tried/ to curse her and so she was real mad at me. Or maybe it was because it took a whole lot of tries to free her, I’m not sure which. I told her that I was going to free her anyhow when Jamie left but that didn’t work out so anyways, we tried to free Ramon and it took us both forever and her spells kept failing and apparently it hurt Ramon when they did. Well, anyways, I finally got him free and he started yelling and cursing at us. I felt like crying but then instead I started to laugh, I really don’t know why. It was like, I couldn’t help but to laugh at the whole stupid day. And I mean, I was glad that I was laughing instead of crying in front of Andie and especially instead of crying because this dumb boy yelled at me but then he started calling me a freak and talking about my eyes. He called me an alien and an abomination and said that I was lucky I wasn’t a boy because he would’ve smashed my head in. He also called Andie… some not so nice stuff...and a donut? Anyways, I don’t know if it’s because he called me a freak or if it’s because he was insulting Andie or if it was because I stopped taking my calming draughts when Professor Mac told me I should but I ended up shoving Ramon and telling him to try it then. Andie freaked out and grabbed me so I couldn’t punch him in his stupid face even when he kept calling me a freak and calling Andie names too. I’ve never been that angry in my whole life- even before Hogwarts, before calming draughts. I just wanted to hurt him and I told him I hated him and tried to kick him but Andie was pulling me away. I ended up remembering I had my wand in my hand and I hit him with a knockback jinx and Andie made her gum fly up his nose. He ran away and Andie left to go back to the dorms but… I hate him. I hope he’s afraid every moment until we graduate and that he’s always looking over his shoulder afraid that we’ll curse him, /really/ curse him like the Fae in my books.

I left after that and went to meet Jamie in the clocktower. I really feel like maybe I’m not as good a person as they think I am. I couldn’t tell them that though. I told them about what happened though and about how tired I am of always being yelled at because people think I won’t do anything about it or being told that I’m a freak or a beast because I’m part veela. I’m tired of being told I should just let people be mean because they’re just scared or because I might get hurt! I told Jamie everything and they agreed and hugged me and I think they’re honestly the most good a person could ever be. I could tell the conversation bothered them so I asked them about the birthday gift they had for me and so they dug in their backpack to get it and… Well, it was wrapped in this blue-green shimmery fish-scale paper and it had a bow on it that reminded me of mother-of-pearl and when I opened it it was this mechanical mermaid! She swam out and she kind of floats around and everything. Jamie said they wanted to bring a piece of the ocean to me which is one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me. It’s up there with being called fairy-face and being asked if I’m a mermaid. I loved it so much I couldn’t even tell Jamie how much so I just hugged them really tight. Of course, when I was hugging them, I remembered I had cake on my face and told them I should clean up and ask if they wanted to go to the commons with me.

On the way to the commons, we ran into Everlina and… That was not really good. You remember that boy Rubicon? I wrote about him before, he’s the one who told me my violin sounded like a dying boggart and also he doesn’t like me because I’m part veela? He and Everlina have been friends since before we were even sorted, when his house burned down, he went to stay with Eve and her family… Well, he only just realised that she’s halfblood and ended up totally losing it when he found out! Everly says he basically went crazy and started talking about how non-purebloods just want to kill purebloods and steal their magic and how he started to hurt himself and was crying and stuff and she wanted him to go to the Hospital Wing with her but he just wouldn’t! Anyways, Everly was really upset about it and so I gave her a hug but really I want to find him and curse him too for making her cry. I don’t know why people in this school are just allowed to get away with this stuff! I just don’t get it! I think I’m going to write Professor Green about it, she’s his head of house. Maybe she can do something about it, unlike when Professor Rask told us Octavia was just scared. Talula warned me to stay away from Ruby himself though because we’re too evenly matched, being in the same year, and he might really hurt me but I’m not afraid of him! We all decided to disperse and head back to our commons when the Head Boy caught us. I think Jamie expected us to get in trouble but he was really nice.

I ran into Tom in the Great Hall the next day and I thanked him for the soft-toy and gave him a hug and everything. He and Talula (and Eve too, though I didn’t find that out until later) got these letters from these dueling clubs telling them they were interested in them when they graduate. That’s really cool, right? Tom’s club was the Dragons which he says is a really cool team and that they must be interested in him because his da must be one. I know Tom really likes his Da, so maybe that’s why he was so excited. They even sent him a t-shirt that he put on and started dancing in. He’s not really a good dancer but that’s okay, I told him he has wicked cool moves anyhow. He and Talula started talking about starting up dueling club again though which is really cool. Maybe, since the only spells I can really do are body binds and knock-backs, I can actually get good too. It felt really bad listening to everyone talk about their dueling invites. I know they all deserve them and they’re all really good, I just keep thinking about how I failed my charms exam last year and the practical part of the DADA one and how I’m just really bad at casting magic in general and it makes me feel worse and worse.

Anyways, I remembered that I don’t know Tom’s birthday so I asked him when it was and he said he’d give me his address so I can send him something. I was thinking about sending him a dragon soft-toy but then he said not to send him one. I might send him one anyhow and something else, something cool too. His birthday’s on the 21st of August. He also said I could come visit him in Surrey over the summer when I told him he could come visit me too. He says his mum’s almost never around so maybe he’d like the company? Jamie said I could come visit them too in a muggle community, so that cool too! Maybe I’ll actually do something this summer instead of just being sent away.

I think that’s everything I have to write about this time, but it won’t be long before I write again.

#Gryffindor #Harry Potter #harry potter roleplay #harry potter rp #roleplay #second life roleplay #second life

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larryfanficwriter98 · 4 years ago

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Chapter Five

Louis answered the facetime call grinning at the man across the screen still in a bed.

"Happy birthday and Merry Christmas Eve. Have you opened your presents yet?"

"No thought I would wait for you to wake up, but I do have the gifts here along with the one with two bows which I'm assuming is my Christmas Eve present."

"Yes, it is. The very thin one is last altogether and the big cube is first."

"Everything else doesn't matter?"

"Not really however if you'd rather do the Christmas eve present first and let it start up while you open the rest then make sure to open the cube second. I bought myself one and it took a few minutes to start up so."

"It's too big to be a phone."

"Very observant."

"You do know I have a laptop right?"

"A broken laptop."

"Harold."

"Just come on and open it. I got it for a lot of reasons."

"Well, I already know what it is now." Louis told him

"Just shut up and open your Christmas Eve gift. Its Christmas I'm allowed to buy you expensive things." Harry said

"You bought me a Samovar."

"Please." Louis sighed heavily as he grabbed the gift, he looked at Harry who was grinning

"Where are you anyway? It's not the bus is it?"

"No, I'm in my LA home. The others are sleeping at a hotel though I offered them rooms here." Harry said

"You're alone on Christmas?" Louis asked stopping his unwrapping momentarily to look at Harry. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but he frowned and looked off camera before looking back at Louis after a second.

"No, my family is here. I'm trying to be quiet so they think I'm asleep otherwise they'll come in here. Well, go on then open it." Louis ripped the wrapping paper and shot Harry a glare when the box revealed the newest MacBook.

"Harold-"

"No, before you complain listen. This will give us better angles for video calls."

"Our phones worked just fine."

"Just shut up and take it." Louis shook his head as he stared at Harry. Harry with his long curly hair pulled into a bun, his pearl necklace laying against his bare chest, his little stubble on his jaw. His soft smile and soft eyes.

"So the cube next?" Louis asked looking away from Harry

"Yes. The cube." It was heavy in it's own way despite its medium size. He tore the gift open and froze when he saw the team logo.

"Wait..seriously?" Harry chuckled grinning as Louis grabbed the shadow box holding a signed ball from the entire Doncaster Rovers team, "Harry."

"I only paid for the shadow box, I know a lot of the players so when I told them my boyfriend is a huge fan the offered to sign a ball for me to give to you."

"Harry this is incredible. I can't open the rest Haz I won't be as excited now."

"Louis trust me it gets better." Louis put the shadow box to the side and grabbed another box placing it on his lap. Opening the box he pulled out four jerseys, two for home games, and two for away games. One set was for Doncaster and the other for Manchester. The third gift was two sets of five lanyards for the Manchester and Doncaster stadiums giving them access and free drinks and food in a VIP box.

"Harry.. but wait why five?"

"I'll be home near the middle of the season." Louis looked at Harry grinned, he bought the phone screen to his lips and kissed him making Harry laughed.

"One more. Is the MacBook set up?" Louis glanced at the MacBook then started to finish setting it up. "Open the last one and play it."

"Harry, I swear if you make me cry." Louis said as he grabbed the thin square package. He already knew it was a cd which meant a personalized playlist, a cheesy montage of their time together, or something along those lines, and honestly, Louis wasn't ready for either of those options.

"I am going to let you listen to it alone and I will take a shower and eat breakfast then we can talk in about two hours?"

"Alright." Harry leaned in to the screen and kissed the lens making Louis laugh. The facetime ended so Louis focused on the gift revealing the cd and placing it in the CD tray. He clicked on the pop up then pressed play turning the volume up.

"I know you don't want us to say the L-word until we meet for the first time. So I wrote something that I hope will express my feelings for you as strongly and clearly as I can and um... this might give away who I am, but I'm not scared about that. I've been trying to find a way to tell you for a few weeks now since you fell asleep on our facetime call in Australia. So I um... I hope you like it I guess and if you do find out who I am and if you need a few days to think about what being in a relationship with me would involve then let me know. If you come to a decision of ending things just know that I trust you and I'm sorry and I completely understand why you would decide that. If you still want to be with me then great and we can talk more on the depth of everything like if you want to be public about our relationship or not. Whatever you want. Alright.. before I say the word you don't want me to I'm going to stop this and let you listen. Bye." Louis laughed at his awkward boyfriend shaking his head as a soft piano came over the speakers.

"If I could fly I'd be coming right back home to you I think I might Give up everything just ask me to Pay attention, I hope that you listen Cause I've let my guard down Right now in completely defenseless

For your eyes only I'll show you my heart For when you're lonely And forget who you are I'm missing half of me When we're apart Now you know me For your eyes only."

Louis closed his eyes to keep his traitorous tears back. Harry's voice was raw, but sounded beautiful and Louis had a hard time focusing on what he was singing. He did recognize the voice, he knew he has heard it on the radio quite a few times, but he was terrible at remembering names. He knew that once he actually knew who Harry was he'd feel pretty damn stupid, but right now he couldn't think of anything. Louis replayed the song five times before it the lyrics finally sunk in and Louis understood this was Harry telling Louis that he Loved him with a capital 'L'.

Like he was completely in and completely gone for Louis. Louis would be lying if he said the thought didn't terrify him, but he felt the same way about Harry. He had fallen when Harry had answered a facetime with the widest grin, completely shirtless, and a towel wrapped around his waist. HIS WAIST. Not his hips like a normal person, his waist which meant his towel had stopped pretty high on his thighs. But Louis hadn't even noticed that until after he had completely fallen for his dimples and open mouth smile and his wet hair and his perfect complexion. Louis was pretty sure he had stopped breathing for a minute only to stop breathing again when Harry had straightened up and Louis had noticed his towel situation.

Nothing had been revealed, but still, it was the principal of things. Harry had perfect thighs and it was rude. How dare he just answer a facetime looking like a god while Louis had been wearing a stained holey band shirt and stained sweats with pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth. He had been tempted to break up with him because of it. Of course, he had talked himself out of it, but the thought had lingered in his head for a few seconds.

****

Two hours later Louis escaped to his room and accepted the facetime request. Harry was outside this time, but he was looking off-camera at someone.

"Mom. I love you, but please leave now."

"What if you need me?"

"Mom go away," Harry said

"But what if he's mean to you."

Mom. I'm 21 and I've been talking to him for months."

"Remember the last Doncaster boy you liked? He took your number and never texted you."

"I was 14 mom, I wouldn't have texted me either. Now go away."

"Fine. I'll be inside if you need me." Harry turned to the phone with a soft blush on his cheeks

"You had another Doncaster boy? Should I be worried?" Louis asked

"No, it was 2009 and at a battle of the bands. He was a singer in this band."

"Wait...shut up...2009 battle of the bands?" Louis asked sitting up straighter

"Yeah, why?"

"No fucking way. What was the guy's band name?" Louis asked not able to believe it

"Band name? I don't know it was...seven years ago. Rogue something I think or maybe something Rogue."

"Shut up."

"What?" Harry asked amused

"That was my band. The Rogue. We met before Harry."

"No."

"Yes. Me mom has the picture we took together in one of the photo albums back home in Donny."

"You're shitting me. We snogged that day."

"We snogged in the toilet stall after you peed on me. The first time." Louis told his embarrassed boyfriend making him even more embarrassed as he buried his face in his arms.

"Oh my god. Please stop talking now." Louis laughed even harder as he thought back to 2009, "wait didn't we meet again? At the script concert?"

"We did. We met up in the toilets. I think you were leaving when I was coming in."

"Fucking hell." Harry said shaking his head

"Then again that summer when I was on holiday and again in 2010 at the X Factor auditions."

"No."

"Yes. We have met four fucking times already." Louis said as he remembered Harry again

"Well after eight years I finally get your number." Harry said making Louis blush

"Well, I can explain. The first time I never actually saved it. I typed it, but I forgot to save it so when I tried to text you I couldn't. Then after the concert, I was actually struggling with coming out and being comfortable with it all. The holiday I still hadn't come out so I sort of ignored you then we didn't exchange numbers at the auditions. I left early anyway so I never actually auditioned."

"What? Why not? Louis, you should have auditioned. I remember you having an amazing voice."

"And lose to you? No thanks. Talk about a busted ego." Harry shook his head smiling as he laid his chin on his hand

"I actually didn't win. When you get to the Live Shows they give you this new contract to sign in case they want to sign anyone who doesn't win. A lot of the other contestants warned me about bad labels and what they can do and that they could closest someone. I was already being labeled and branded as a lady's man at 16 on that show. I refused to sign the contract and they organized my elimination three weeks later. Simon tried to talk me out of it a lot, but I refused and told my mom I didn’t want to be forced into a five to ten-year closet. Six months later Sony got a hold of me and told me that I would be able to coke out whenever I wanted, but until then they did want to promote me as straight which I was fine with. Luckily it had to wait until I was 18 so when I turned 18 they had me date Taylor Swift. I'm not out publicly yet, but I just never really had a reason to come out."

The first thing that popped into Louis' head was "Harry Styles" but that was insane because Harry was...like...18 and had a mop of curls. He did not have tattoos or long hair nor was he 21 turning 22. Louis was positive he had just turned 18 last year.

"That's good that you were warned and was able to escape before you were legally straight."

"Yeah, it is. A little upset I will never know if I would have won or not, but I guess having my first album get platinum within a week was proof enough that I would have at least made top 5."

~~~~~

Harry had gotten Niall an expensive whiskey that Niall was excited about and a limited edition Baccarat Louxor Bar Set. Liam got a $100 tattoo voucher for the local parlor he liked and some Manchester footie merch signed as well like Louis'. Zayn got some expensive hair care products as well as a $100 (my keyboard doesn't have the pound symbol so sorry about the American dollar) tattoo voucher. For someone who only knew a few things about his roommates he did amazing and they were all excited about everything.

Louis had gotten more gifts from all of the places Harry has been. Some more sweaters, a Japanese dragon jacket that felt expensive and warm. A rice cooker with a side note to follow the instructions causing Louis and the lads to laugh. Harry also bought Louis a Royal Copenhagen complete set which almost made Louis cry. Having a complete Royal Copenhagen set was every tea lover's dream, if they're lucky they are able to collect a few tea cups, but it was rare to get a complete set.

In the last box, Louis opened it revealed a large lilac sweater that was something Louis wouldn't usually wear until he pulled it out. The smell was of a tropical scent mixed with an expensive earthy cologne. That meant the sweater was Harry's along with the other sweaters that were folded neatly into the box. A white Aran turtle neck sweater, a black hoodie with a rose embroidery, and under that was a note over another hoodie reading, "unreleased merch". When Louis pulled out the black hoodie it had "Treat People With Kindness" written in rainbow embroidery across the chest. The last one was a light pink sweater with Harry on the chest and then the same quote on the arm.

"Wait.. your boyfriend sent you Harry Styles merch? You've got to be kidding me." Liam said grabbing the black hoodie from Louis

"What?" Louis asked

"Treat people with kindness. This is Harry Styles' merch, it's like his slogan, his brand." Liam said

"Really?" Louis asked, "isn't he like..17?"

"What? No, he's 21 Louis. He was 17 in 2011." Zayn said as he looked at the hoodie, "I haven't seen this one yet."

"21..and when is his birthday?" Louis asked

"The first of February." Niall told him Louis nodded and grabbed his phone going to the safari app and googling Harry Styles.

Sure enough there he was with long hair and tattoos and extremely long legs. There were also modeling pictures and paparazzi pictures of him at airports and fan pictures. Louis went on Instagram and went to Harry Styles' profile and saw many pictures of the countries landscapes and landmarks he had visited the past few months. One of the posts was a picture of Louis' teddys on Louis' shelf in his bedroom wall that he got just for them. The caption read, "Dating 101 - buy them cheesy ��5 souvenirs" Louis made his profile private then commented, "and the sweaters that still smell like you."

#larry stylinson #larry fanfiction #larry fic #work in progress #new story #new chapter

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evesbeve · 5 years ago

Note

Christmas fic request, you can choose what you like better: Klaus wants to surprise Ben with a gift for Christmas. How does he do that though when Ben is a ghost that's, like, with him 24/7? OR Ben wants to give Klaus a gift for Christmas. How does he do that when he's... well, a ghost? What can he give? (thank you!)

Anon, my dude. You get me so much. I know this is really late, bur here it finally is!

Title: Two Presents

Summary: How does one surprise their dead brother that follows them around everywhere with a Christmas gift? Well, Klaus better figure it out soon, because Christmas is right around the corner and Ben isn't going anywhere.

(Read on AO3 + FFN)

___

“I need help with Ben’s Christmas gift.”

Okay, yes, maybe Klaus should have planned this whole Christmas gift thing a bit better, but it wasn’t his fault that Ben followed him around twenty-four seven. Not that it was Ben’s, but that didn’t change the fact that he was getting in the way of his surprise.

So, of course, he asked Diego for help.

“You need help with Ben’s Christmas gift,” Number Two repeated. “My help.”

“Precisely.”

“And you’re telling me this now, a day before Christmas.”

“Possibly.”

“And you’re expecting me to help you.”

“Indeed.”

Diego sighed, bringing his hand to his nose. “Klaus, you can’t just… You can’t just do that. I have things to do, and the streets are drowning in traffic.”

“Pretty please?” Klaus said, taking a paper out of his pocket and handing it to Diego. Diego glanced at it for a second, then back at Klaus. “It’s the name of the book. Should be easy enough to find.”

He knew he was pushing his luck. Diego was on his nerves again, Ben was in the room next door with Vanya, manifested, and Klaus could already feel his powers draining; there wasn’t much time left before Ben dematerialized and came back to him for company.

“Fine.” Diego pocketed the piece of paper. “But you owe me, Klaus.”

“Thank you, Diego dear!” Klaus said and pulled his brother in for a big hug.

He felt kinda bad for putting this on Diego, but it wasn’t as if he had a choice.

There was nothing that could make up for everything Ben had done for Klaus. Taking care of him when no one else was there, being his one and only friend, loving him for who he was, not who he should have been. Ben deserved a Christmas gift. It was the least Klaus could do.

Speak of the devil. Not ten seconds later, Ben phased through the door.

He had this look on his face, the one he always had when he was worried about something. Klaus couldn’t blame him; he had just been robbed of his quality time with Vanya.

“Hey Benny,” Klaus said.

“Ben’s here?” Diego asked, and Klaus pulled away from him. He pointed towards the spot Ben was standing at, and Diego tried his best at looking into his eyes, or so Klaus assumed. “Hey Ben.”

“Hey,” Ben said, smiling a little bit. He then turned to Klaus. “Did you ask him about it?”

“Nope.” Klaus clapped his hands together, looking at Diego.

“Klaus, what’s going on? What did Ben say?”

“Ben and I want to get gifts for everyone, since my name is Santa Klaus and all,” Klaus explaind. Diego opened his mouth to speak, but Klaus was quicker. “So… Can you drive us to the mall?”

It was the perfect plan; Diego would leave Ben and Klaus to buy their gifts while he did his own thing—buying the book—and Ben wouldn’t suspect a thing.

The next day, when the entire family had gathered around the tree to open their gifts, Klaus couldn’t shake the stupid grin off his face as Ben stared in awe at the gift in his hands.

“Uh, Klaus?” He turned around, only to see Luther holding out a box for him to take. “This one’s for you.”

Klaus took it in his hands and stared; the small box was wrapped in green paper, and a neat red ribbon was placed on top. At the side, there was a label.

To: Klaus

Ah, yes, Vanya’s handwriting—

From: Ben

Wait, what?

___

“I need help with Klaus’ Christmas gift.”

Vanya turned around to look at Ben. She had just closed the door to Klaus’ room—Klaus was hanging out in Diego’s with him—and Ben hadn’t given her time to say a single word.

“Wh… What?” Vanya said.

“Klaus’ Christmas gift,” Ben repeated. “I obviously can’t go buy it myself, so I need your help.”

Vanya had known there was something suspicious about Ben wanting to host one of their book-discussion meetings Klaus’ room, but this wasn’t what she’d expected at all.

“O-Okay?” Vanya said, because what could she say? No? No. “What can I do?”

“Okay so,” Ben said, not wasting a single second, “you know how Klaus is afraid of—” Ben stopped himself, as if he was reconsidering his words. “Klaus has trouble focusing. Like, besides being Klaus, everything can get a little bit too overwhelmed at times and—yeah.”

Vanya knew that feeling all too well.

“Anyway,” Ben continued. “He really likes listening to music, but he’s also an idiot, so he lost his music player.”

“So you want me to buy a new one?” Ben nodded. “On Christmas Eve?”

“And headphones.”

“Ben!”

“I would have told you earlier if I could!” Ben crossed his arms. “I know it’s a lot to ask, so I understand if you don’t want to—”

“No, I’ll do it,” Vanya said. “But there’s a problem.”

Ben’s face cringed at the mention of an obstacle. “Which is?”

“I don’t have a car, and public transport’s packed today. I probably wouldn’t even make it in time, it’s…” She looked at her watch. “Shit, it’s five already!”

Ben bit his lip and looked to the side, bouncing his leg like he always did when he was nervous. His eyes were pinned on the wall that led to Diego’s room.

“Ben—”

“I think I might have a solution to that.”

___

The last thing Diego wanted was a family trip to the mall.

As it turns out, Vanya also needed to do some last-minute shopping, so he was stuck in the car with three of his siblings, one of which was a ghost, one who wouldn’t shut up, and one who probably hated him the same way he had for so many years.

“Are we there yet?” Klaus asked, and it took all of Diego’s self-control not to punch him right there and now.

“What do you think,” Diego asked, pointing at all the traffic in front of them. Klaus pouted and leaned his head against the window again. This was going to be a long ride.

They reached the mall at around seven, but that was without the extra thirty minutes it took them to find a place to park the car. Diego was smart enough to tell the others to go on without him, and that he’d meet them when he actually found a parking spot.

Vanya stayed in the car though.

It wasn’t as if Diego didn’t like Vanya. Quite the opposite, actually. Diego left the Academy on heated terms with everyone, but it wasn’t until Vanya wrote her book that Diego got furious with her.

After stopping the Apocalypse, he’d been trying to do better.

And of course he’d apologised, but he’d said some nasty things to her in the past, things that didn’t just go away. So yes, maybe it was kind of his fault that his car ride with his sister was so awkward. He’d just have to deal with it.

“So… What are you picking up?” Vanya asked.

It was only then that Diego realised he had no idea where to look for the book. The last time he’d stepped into a bookstore was ages ago, and he felt really awkward about asking for a book they probably didn’t even have.

“I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t tell Ben or Klaus,” Diego said, making the same turn for the twentieth time.

“Okay.”

Okay. “Klaus asked me to get Ben something for Christmas.”

“Can I tell you something?” Vanya asked, and Diego hummed in response. “Ben asked me to get something for Klaus.”

Diego huffed, shaking his head. “Of course he did.”

He’d never understand the bond between Ben and Klaus. For the longest time, Diego had thought he was the only one from the family Klaus had kept in touch with after leaving, but boy, had he been in the wrong.

Thirteen years and counting. That’s how much time they’d spend together.

“It’s funny what these two have,” Vanya said as if she was reading Diego’s thoughts.

“Tell me about it,” Diego said. “They’re the last two people in our family I thought would get along so well.”

“I know,” Vanya said. “Ben was always so… Contained, you know? He’s changed.” She paused. “Not that it’s a bad thing! Just surprising, is all.”

“Well, we all grow up,” Diego said. He cunder his breath when another driver took the free parking space. “Look at me, driving you all to the way mall without any complaints.”

“Without any complaints?” Vanya asked, and Diego could hear the smile in her voice.

“Oh, shut up,” Diego said.

No one spoke after that, and Diego hated it. It meant there was nothing else to be said, that Vanya didn’t want to talk to him anymore. And yet, Diego was also silent, even though he had so much more to say.

“Will you help me find the book for Ben?” he asked.

“Sure,” Vanya said. “If we ever find a parking space.”

There was silence again, but this time it was comfortable.

___

Ben was acting weird, and even he knew it.

Barely had he had the time to explain his plan to Vanya, when he started fading away. By some sort of miracle, his sister had understood.

She was coming with them to the mall. Them being Ben, Klaus and Diego.

Ben and Klaus had been planning this trip to the mall for weeks. Ideally, it wouldn’t happen on Christmas Eve, but there they were, struggling to pay for a new scarf for Allison.

“You’re only getting this so you can wear it yourself,” Ben said as they exited the shop.

Klaus faked a gasp. “Are you doubting the fact that Allison will like it?”

“No,” Ben said. “I’m just saying that she won’t really have the time to enjoy it if you steal it from her.”

“Boooooo,” Klaus pouted.

Ben couldn’t help but smile. “Who’s next on the list? I have the perfect idea for Vanya.”

“Bookstore?”

“Bookstore.”

Watching Klaus try to ask for the book Ben had in mind for Vanya was more than painful.

“I think it’s called the Adventurous Castle?” Klaus said. “By, uh… Erica Blyt-something.”

“The Castle of Adventure by Enid Blyton.”

“The Castle of Adventure by Enid Blyton!” Klaus repeated. The employee looked a bit confused as to how Klaus recalled the name so confidently after struggling for a good five minutes, but didn’t protest. Soon enough, they had the book put in a festive bag. “Thank you!”

It was then that Ben noticed their siblings in the next aisle. “Shit, Klaus!”

Klaus must have noticed them too, because Ben had never seen him so worried before. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Klaus said, and they ran out the store.

Cut to Christmas Day.

They had all gathered around the tree in the living room, dressed in their pyjamas. The logical thing would be for Klaus to be handing out the gifts—he had insisted he was Santa Klaus, after all—but somehow they’d convinced Luther to do it. He was even wearing a Christmas hat.

“For Allison, from…” Luther sighed. “Santa Klaus and Ben on the Shelf—guys, this doesn’t even rhyme—”

“Just give her the gift!”

The next hour went on like this, opening their presents one by one, until they decided to hand them out simultaneously to save time. After all, lunch was almost ready, and everyone wanted to try Mom’s festive dishes.

“The Castle of Adventures,” Vanya, who was sitting next to Ben, said through a smile. “I can’t believe you.”

Ben shrugged in a teasing way, and Vanya pulled him in for a hug.

Ben remembered when they were kids, sneaking into each other’s rooms and reading books till their eyes hurt. They discovered Enid Blyton’s books together, and got lost in the mysteries she described. The Castle of Adventures was the only one from The Adventure Series they didn’t have.

So yes. Judging by Vanya’s reaction, he’d take that as a victory.

“Ben,” Luther said, handing him a gift.

He didn’t think much of it at first—he still hadn’t opened Five’s gift, and a book sounded like something he’d receive from him—but then he read the label.

For: Ben

From: Klaus

He must had been staring for hours, or so it felt like. How was it even possible that Klaus got him a—

Diego’s handwriting. “This is why you freaked when we saw Di and Vee in the bookstore, isn’t—”

Ben stopped when he realised Klaus was holding a gift of his own, looking at it in disbelief. A smile had crept up his face, and he turned to look at Ben with an even wider one. “Bitch.”

Number Six chuckled. “You’re one to talk.”

“I think it’s only fair that you open them at the same time,” Five said, not looking away from his stack of books. He seemed so proud of it, a smug look on his face.

And so they did.

Unlike with all his other gifts, Ben opened the blue wrapping paper with care, too scared to damage what was inside.

It wasn’t surprising to him that the gift was a book. What was surprising was the book it was.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

Ben ran his fingers across the cover, as if he couldn’t believe he was actually holding it.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t read the book before. Back when he and Klaus first left the Academy, they used to stop by the library once in a while, just so Ben could take a look at the books. And Klaus? He’d hold them open for him, turn the pages as Ben read along.

The Alchemist was the first book they ever read like this.

He almost started crying. Almost.

He was snapped back into reality when Klaus pushed him back on the floor, trapping him in a bone-crushing hug.

“Guessing you liked the present,” Ben joked, struggling to breathe—not like he needed the air.

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Klaus said, not letting go in the slightest. “You asshole. I love you.”

It was then that the first tear rolled down Ben’s cheek. “I love you too,” he said, finally hugging him back as best as he could.

It looked awkward and funny, and Allison had probably taken enough pictures to ruin their lives for good, but Ben didn’t care. If he could spend an eternity like this with Klaus, he would in a heartbeat.

“We’re going to listen to The Doors and The Hollies all night,” Klaus said, taking a laugh out of everyone.

When everyone went to bed that night, Numbers Four and Six stayed up listening to music through Klaus’ new music player, and reading Ben’s book the same way they had all these years ago.

For the first time in a really long time, Klaus slept like a baby, and Ben didn’t mind waiting for him to wake up.

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imuybemovoko · 4 years ago

Text

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music

For this fun little exercise in self-torture, I’m going to find a weird worship song and dissect it. Today I feel like saying death-cult a distressing number of times so I’m going to find one that talks about how the next world is supposed to be better for this one.

I’m probably going to regret this. And probably cope by blasting metal while I do this.

I’ll go with a bit of low-hanging fruit for this first one: Even So Come. It’s attributed six ways to Sunday because like seven different artists/groups have a recording of it somewhere out public, but this lyric site thingy says Chris Tomlin. Some of these songs get wildly popular to the point where even as a church guitar guy (read: very large fan of this shitty music) I tended to find it a bit confusing to tell who originally wrote them. This is an example. I think it was probably Kristian Stanfill but uh... I can never be 100% sure. I’ve been wrong about ones I was way more sure about before.

This song is repetitive as fuck, like a lot of these, because what helps indoctrinate people more than literally singing the same words for 15 minutes?

Let’s get into this shit.

The song

I’ll spare you a few minutes of your life if you want to keep it. I already linked the lyrics, but I’ll give this a quick listen to make sure Stanfill doesn’t literally freehand some new lyrics during the video; if he does, I’ll discuss that too I suppose. The whole point of this is that I’m listening to this shit so you don’t have to. But if you really want to, then go off I guess. I can’t and honestly wouldn’t try to stop you. Unless this shit is triggering to you. In that case please don’t listen. It used to fuck me up hard when my brother would blast songs like this in the shower after I deconverted. I don’t want that happening to anyone out there. Tread with caution.

Okay. I wrote that while I was listening, and apparently he doesn’t yeet off into new spontaneous lyrics at any point. I think that’s more of a Bethel thing, but I don’t remember it being exclusive to them so I had to make sure.

Ok, let’s do this more or less in order. I’ll take it a verse at a time. But first, let’s talk formatting. The first two verses aren’t separated by anything, and the third is after the first chorus. After the third verse they play the chorus again, then the bridge. The AZLyrics entry under Tomlin lists it twice; Stanfill plays it twice. When I was on the worship team at a church, we’d typically play the bridge four times for extra drama. After this, they end with two tricks. First is that they play the first half or so of the chorus, then a whole chorus right after it. Again, this is for extra drama. The leader of the worship team at my old church would tend to point to one part of the song as the “climax” and we’d do a fair amount of this kind of shit leading up to it. In this particular case, it’s actually most of the chorus, leaving off only the “even so come” lines. The break is at a lyrically appropriate place more often than it’s just like “haha 2 bars into the chorus” or something like that because of course the message has to be consistent. After this, they fade the song out by repeating the last line or two, like, umpteen times to foster a contemplative mood. (It works. I’ve been on both ends of this dynamic. If you’re in a more charismatic crowd, my experience suggests that this final repetition is the most likely point where someone’s going to fall out and start speaking in tongues or something. Also, in those circles sometimes one of the vocalists, most often the team leader because of course, will give some kind of “word from God” to the congregation.) That’s the format, and it’s a very common one. At church camps and retreats and events like those, often they’ll loop choruses or bridges or ending tags or, sometimes (but far less often), verses and extend a song like this one to like fifteen or twenty minutes. In a typical church service they don’t really do it that way though because people might get impatient or something.

On to the lyrics of this song. I’ll address the verses in order, then the chorus and bridge, then talk ordering, because doing this chronologically would get annoying as fuck. The first verse is as follows:

All of creation All of the earth Make straight a highway A path for the Lord Jesus is coming soon

Notice the equivocation in the first two lines here. The author most likely believes this is an accurate thing to equivocate, and so do most of their audience.

The next two lines are a similar repetition, using both modern and more Biblically-flavored language, in reference to Mark 1:3. The particular language used is not altogether different from most English translations. These lines, both in the sense that the author intends and in their function in the song, are meant to prepare the listener for what follows: “Jesus is coming soon.” A reminder of the inevitable apocalypse most Christian sects teach and, in their view, the second chronologically of two most important events in the entire history and future of the world (the first being the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ). Every verse of the song ends with this reminder.

To boil the message of this verse down into one word:

(I have entirely too much fun with this image lol)

The second verse:

Call back the sinner Wake up the saint Let every nation Shout of Your fame Jesus is coming soon

“Call back the sinner” implies a return to origins and contains an implicit reference to the prodigal son in the parable in Luke 15. The implication is that being a “sinner” (and I’ll discuss the dichotomy in a second here) is a life of running away from God either by ignorance or by choice, and that they were originally with God. The typical narrative on the mechanisms of the fall of man seems to suggest otherwise because only Adam and Eve were technically originally with God and everyone else starts out separated because of that lovely little generational curse thingy, this is a bit of an odd take, but in light of the evangelical perspective that not only a god, but their god is so self evident that people have to make the active choice to not believe, this makes an entire hell of a lot of sense, and “calling back the sinner” could entail saying “lol stop wasting your energy running from what you know.”

The next line engages in a bit of common guilt-tripping. Saying “wake up the saint” implies that believers and churches have fallen asleep in some sense, and that’s actually a perspective referenced in the letters to the seven churches in Revelation, each church getting a different flavor of messaging like this. When churches and saints are called to “wake up”, it means to cease engaging in whatever behavior is apparently polluting their message, i.e. forgetting the original reason they’re doing this, normalizing “worldly” practices, bad leadership paradigms, etc. Thus, I’m inclined to read this line as something like “you’re better than the rest of humanity; act like it.

Also of note is this dichotomy established here between “sinners” and “saints”. This is, on paper at least, the only important distinction in evangelicalism. (In practice they have a lot of shitty perspectives on women because of Paul’s writings as well as some class and/or racial biases, unconscious or conscious depending on the particular congregation.) A “saint” is a “true” Christian, one who is “set apart” from the world by God. A “sinner” is literally anyone else. In addition to their entire laundry list of harmless actions that are considered sins, Evangelicals (and probably many other Christians honestly) will say that to be non-Christian is a sin. In my old church and its affiliates I often heard that to remain non-Christian for an entire lifetime is the only unforgivable sin, identifying it with the “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” referenced in Matthew 12:31. There are a wide variety of perspectives on what this “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” actually means, and I can really only confidently speak to Calvary Chapel’s perspective on that. In any case, this song makes use of the “sinner vs saint” dichotomy common in Christianity. I analyze it as a typical “us vs them” with an added twist that says “the ‘them’ can become us and that’s better”.

After this is a reference to the passages in the Bible that speak of the Gospel being spread to “every nation” and things such as that, and that every nation will come under Christ’s lordship at the end of time. Then there’s a reminder that the singer is awaiting this apparently fast-approaching end.

The third verse:

There will be justice All will be new Your name forever Faithful and true Jesus is coming soon

This third verse is mostly a reference to events predicted to occur after the second coming of Christ. In Revelation, among other places, there is a described sequence of events in which the world comes absolutely fucking unglued, falls under the thumb of a tyrannical world government run by some guy who lets himself get possessed by Satan, and then is yeeted by God and soaked in the blood of Satan’s armies at the final battle. A bit later, for some reason Satan has to be let go for a bit, but he loses hard once again. After this, God yeets the unbelievers into hellfire and makes a new world which he rules forever. In short, the collapse, battles, and Great Divine Yeet are what this “justice” describes. The remaining lines speak of this renewed world run by Jesus himself. Lastly, we have the reminder that this is all going to happen before very long here.

There’s a bit of a double-reference thing going on here and in the second verse too, and I’m honestly not entirely sure what to make of it, but it shows up often in contemporary Christian music. They’ll switch between referring to God in second person (Your name forever) and in third person (Jesus is coming soon). It seems ...most likely to be a matter of convenience, and I’m rather inclined to treat it as that because the other things I think of seem either counter-productive or very, very outlandish. Like, are they alternating between addressing God and addressing the listener? Maybe, but the message of this song is so much more listener-directed that I find that thought kinda weird.

In any case, that’s the verses.

Now let’s get to the chorus. This is repeated after the first two verses and again several times after the third, and it contains a lot of deeply cursed metaphors. I mean holy fuck.

Like a bride Waiting for her groom We'll be a church Ready for You Every heart longing for our King We sing Even so come Lord Jesus come Even so come Lord Jesus come

So the first two little couplets here refer to a metaphor found in several places in scripture where the church is the “bride” of Christ. This. is. CREEPY! In the old testament, the role of the wife is often analogous to that of property, so that’s deeply gross. Further, Paul says men are the head of women, i.e. have great authority over them, and women should be subservient. Jesus doesn’t honestly do a whole hell of a lot to resist this, and powerful women throughout most of the scriptures are either defined as attaining their power in “God-honoring” subservient ways like Esther or as dangerous demonic influences operating under the “spirit of Jezebel”. (”Jezebel” is literally a scriptural term for this kind of thing; one of the church letters in Revelation uses it. Many evangelicals/fundies add “spirit of” because of their borderline-animistic take on spiritual warfare. I might describe that in more detail in a later post. It’s a metaphor based on an old-testament queen who is presented as manipulative and narcissistic, taking the real power in the kingdom from her husband by manipulation and doing a great deal of damage with it.) Thus, in this context, I find the “bride” metaphors inextricable from a tyrannical, abusive relationship in which the man, or in this case Christ, is the absolute head. Biblical ideas on marriage and family life are an entire problem too, establishing what I feel very confident in describing as an abusive power dynamic. Thus, this song references a metaphor by which Christ is described as having abusive control over his people. @kristian stanfill thanks I hate it. @whoever the fuck wrote the bible thanks I hate it. The couplet in this song is describing a situation in which the church is waiting to submit to an abusive authority and it’s fucking disgusting and I hate that I used to live that way.

The next line, “every heart longing for our king”, indicates that it’s normative to strongly desire this power dynamic and expresses a probably-genuine (mine was) desire for more of Jesus on the part of the writer and the singer. So with these preconditions established, they say, “we sing, even so come, Lord Jesus, come”, repeating “even so come” and on twice for added weight. The chorus and bridge are, by the way, where this seems to get deathculty.

Remember that in referencing the coming of Jesus, they reference ideas that this world is shitty and being dead and in heaven/having the world destroyed by God and replaced is going to be a hell of a lot better. The Bible and many churches, particularly evangelicals, will even use language like “dying to oneself” to refer to the process of laying down one’s life for the cause of Jesus. Thus, death metaphors infiltrate their literal daily living. The general attitude that’s expected for people to have in those circumstances is one of “I won’t seek death actively but I will welcome it when the time comes”, and coupled with the way the other forms of abuse broke me, this had me fantasizing about dying in third-world countries for getting too annoying about Jesus. So that’s pretty wack, I suppose. This belief system is one that puts death on a very disturbing pedestal. This entire song is about preparing for the return of Jesus, which is going to bring a hell of a lot of death if it happens as they predict. This very deadly event is what “Jesus is coming soon” entails, and it’s one of two possible interpretations that I can think of to apply to these “even so come lord Jesus come” lines. The other is that they believe that Jesus is present with them when they worship (Matthew 18:20) and they seek to experience this presence. But the preparatory nature of this song, in my experience at least, puts very strong priority on the first sense, even though it can be, and in church settings often functions as, both. These lines are a plea for personal transformation and for the apocalypse. In the vanishingly unlikely event that the Christian version of the divine turns out to be true, billions will die in wars and disasters (some actively caused by God’s agents) and many of those same billions and many more people, including me, will be victims of the Great Cosmic Yeet and land in hellfire forever. And they want this to happen sooner rather than later. That’s literally the main point of this song.

So we wait We wait for You God we wait You're coming soon

This is the bridge. It’s typically repeated kind of a lot. Like, I mean holy fuck they repeat this. It’s literally just “we’re excited for the second coming of Christ”. You know, in case someone needed a reminder that they want billions dead, even more people yeeted into hellfire, and the entire world destroyed. Evangelical and fundamentalist strains of Christianity are literally a death cult.

So with that rant-filled analysis out of the way, let’s see if I can talk formatting without dying inside again or getting too pissed off.

On the lyric site I linked above (and I’ll link it again so you don’t have to scroll through whatever literal mountain of text and cursed images I’ve produced) this goes verse 1, verse 2, chorus, verse 3, chorus, bridge twice, weird most-of-chorus tag, chorus, the last two lines like several times over. Thus, already we have multiple repetitions of most concepts found in this song. Also, this two verses-chorus-third verse-chorus-bridge several times-chorus twice-ending tag format is quite common in contemporary Christian music, in the studio recordings, official lyrics, and chord sheets you’ll find out there. But I cannot stress enough that this structure, especially the bridge and latter choruses but the entire structure including the verses, is extremely modular. Anything can be repeated, or repeated more times. Anything can be re-inserted in another place. This is mostly a Bethel thing in my experience, but there can be instrumental breaks for one of the vocalists to yeet out entirely spontaneous lyrics. There can be massive empty instrumental breaks, or instrumental breaks with spoken words in them. And I’ve seen even less of that, but parts of other songs can be inserted just about anywhere too, and I’ve actually participated in that one on occasion. To an extent, any music can be handled in ways like this, but it seems to me like contemporary Christian music is consciously designed that way because its target audience goes nuts over long, “spirit-filled” songs played at church camps or an extra spicy church service.

It’s also worth noting, and if I end up doing a whole lot of these I’ll probably explain this in a great deal more depth, that these songs can get reasonably similar to one another. I think that’s because to a very large extent, the words and structure matter a hell of a lot less than the way they set the mood. You can get the same impact on a crowd of willing Christians from probably literally any combination of these songs. I always had my favorites but that didn’t seem to matter that much.

I’m inclined to say some of the same things about a lot of modern music, actually. It has common structures, a lot of music is interchangeable for certain moods, etc. But I can’t say a thing about the modularity of modern music. A song seems to be way more of a distinct unit in most environments. Mashups do happen, but massive repetitions of one piece of a song generally don’t in any context that I’m aware of. They’ll jam out on an instrumental for a while at concerts sometimes, but you really don’t get this, like, singing “Crawl on your belly til the sun goes down, I’ll never wear your broken crown, I took the road and I fucked it all away, in this twilight how dare you speak of grace” more than like the twice they do it in the studio recording from most groups like you do in very many Christian music settings. (The example chorus I put here was from Mumford and Sons- Broken Crown. It’s an amazing song, I totally recommend it lol it was the first one that popped into my head for this purpose.) Some other commonalities are present in a lot of modern music, but for the most part, that modularity would just come across extremely weird. I think just about every time I’ve either seen or been involved in the playing of Even So Come at a church, the musicians engaged in at least some degree of modularity, most often by repeating the bridge but sometimes uh... holy crap. Because of the extreme prolific use of these songs in church or retreat settings, I’m inclined to list the modularity as the single most important aspect of the formatting of this song and of many others.

#ex christian #contemporarychristianmusic #worship #i probably need therapy #dead inside

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natsspammityspamspamham · 6 years ago

Text

Dino Rambles about their original story that’s kind of an Avatar ripoff

I decided to make this post just to get it out there to anyone who’s interested. This is a complex (I think) story so this might take more than one post to summarize.

It’s a running joke (with myself) that this is an Avatar ripoff because of the four elements, but this changes later on anyway. I created this story out of spite for Masashi Kishimoto who wrote Naruto with its main heroine Sakura Haruno. He confessed that he’s unable to draw good heroine characters and fashioned Sakura as a girl who could not understand men, the best example of a heroine he could come up with. [source] I still respect the guy, but I couldn’t understand how he couldn’t come up with a good female character and how Sakura was the best that he could do. That’s why this story has a female lead.

Where can I read the partially completed story?

https://betabooks.co/books/5772

I write for the sake of getting my ideas down on paper. Quality isn’t guaranteed.

What is this story about?

The name I have for it right now is: “The Manipulators”

It’s about a girl named Seraphina Konan who lives in a universe where children (at age 12) receive elemental (fire, water, air, and earth for now) powers based on a test that is instructed to them. Due to current events and crime rates rising amongst people with those powers, the classes (that were as large as thirty or so) before now dwindled down to eight. Seraphina has seven fellow classmates:

Characters:

Seraphina Konan: Element: Fire Sera is a caring person who is dependable and reliable when it comes down to it. She’s a hard worker, but she doesn’t overexert. She’s a bit quick to snap sometimes, and when she has her mindset on something, she won’t stop until she gets it.

Ayden Hakuryuu: Element: Water Ayden is a guy whose flaws sometimes overshadow his good sides. He’s not very open with his emotions and hates showing affection.

Hikari Chiba: Element: Fire Hikari is a very level-headed intelligent girl who is hardworking and tenacious, but despite what people think when they look at her stoic expression, she is sympathetic and does care about people she’s close to.

Celio Zaveri: Element: Earth Celio is laid-back and relaxed. He’s not easily angered besides the occasional annoyance. He sometimes feels inferior because of his blindness. He feels self-conscious towards the idea of holding back others because of his disability.

Eve Val: Element: Water Eve is very level-headed and relaxed unless peanut butter or sleep are in the mix. She is quite crafty when it comes to getting out of work, but she doesn’t like interacting with people when she’s tired.

Jayden Alphonse: Element: Air She’s extremely laid-back to the point where it might even be a fault. Unlike many of her classmates, she is very open emotionally. She is emotionally and sensibly smarter than the rest of the cast. She’s a bit transparent and ditzy though. She wears sunglasses all the time to the point where only Eve (her best friend) knows what she looks like without them (although it’s a faint memory).

Koa Danzer: Element: Earth Koa is a walking ball of anxiety that eventually opens up to his classmates. He always wants to help those he cares about even if he stutters when talking and trips over himself.

Matthias Xander: Element: Air Matthias is lively and energetic. He is often described as a bouncy ball that never stops, and he is always there to put a smile on people’s faces.

She also has two... eccentric teachers that teach her and her seven classmates.

Hiyoshi Kamiya: Hiyoshi is an apathetic sadistic trickster who loves playing jokes on people. He’s intelligent in terms of nature, environment, and spatial cognitive functioning, but he is just above average academically (but never tries). But he is very apathetic and almost ruthless. This is caused by his upbringing, but he can kill in cold blood without a second thought. He likes blueberry milk, but he’s scared of his cousin and his parents.

Edward Uchiyama: He’s a little similar to Hiyoshi except he prefers to laze around and is generally a lot more caring and sympathetic. He is rarely seen without a blue blanket which is “part of his person”. This character has a lot probably the most connections to one of the major antagonists to the story.

There are other side characters as well, but I think you can skip over this if you’re new:

Serene Kamiya (Hiyoshi’s cousin): She’s the one who keeps him in check as the school’s headmaster. She’s far more diligent than her cousin despite being younger by two years. She was raised by a single mother who is Hiyoshi’s father’s sister.

Amanda Franz (Hiyoshi’s girlfriend) She’s a very kind-hearted girl with a sense of justice. She is able to put on a charismatic front, and she possesses beauty unlike any other. In the past, she used to be quiet, shy, and withdrawn student until she met her best friend.

(Name is up to change) Antagonist: Edward’s former neighbour. He met him after always hitting his ball into the open window of his house on the outskirts of town. They eventually became very close friends. He is jaded by his past and believes that the destruction and rebirth of society are for the best. He knows societal secrets that no one else knows, but he lost his family at age sixteen.

General Overview (probably could’ve done a better job at this):

Chapter One:

Mind: People who are smart and value intelligence can manipulate the element of fire. Soul: People who are laid-back and relaxed can manipulate the element of water. Body: People who are ambitious and determined can manipulate the element of earth. Heart: People who are caring and compassionate can manipulate the element of air.

These are the faculties that you can fit in after taking your assessment.

Sera does the assessment and eventually finds out that she is an unconventional candidate of some sort since her results are undeterminable due to the fact that she fit into all the categories. You can get two or three, but it is strange to get all four.

Her backstory is revealed. She reveals that to her knowledge, her family was killed by a rogue manipulator (which is what you call a person with elemental powers). This includes her mother, father, and older brother. After, she is adopted by an ungrateful family who lost their daughter due to illness and takes their grief out on her.

The government requires you to live with a family (biological or adopted) until age twelve (which is when you are allowed to leave).

Chapter Two:

Sera meets some of the cast for the second time including Ayden who is a bit of a standoffish asshole who’s too tall for his age. She meets her teachers.

There are some demons that exist inside Sera since her power doesn’t fully resonate with her because of the fact that she didn’t officially fit into any faculty/group of any kind. They go home for the day and come back the next day to find out that they have to go through excruciating training. If you give up, your power will leave you unaccepted. This results in only eight students being left: Seraphina, Ayden, Matthias, Koa, Jayden, Eve, Hikari, and Celio.

Cue ice cream bonding trip, training montage, exposition, and Sera abandoning her abusive family.

Sera takes the paper test where they are supposed to use their power/element to affect a piece of paper. Sera fails and falls unconscious because what a loser.

Sera finds out she is neighbours with Ayden who is apprehensive about telling her the conditions of why he lives in such a rundown building (which will be explained much later). Hikari also lives a floor below.

Ayden and Sera do the paper test again. Repeat what happened with the demons coming back in denying her capabilities even though she’s a protagonist (so her success goes without saying).

Chapter Three:

School years start in January and end at the end of October (the 30th to be exact). The kids are two months away (more like three because they always forget that October is a full month) so exam season is coming up. A lot of the students (Ayden, Eve, and Jayden) worry because they’re stupid.

More exposition occurs where characters get more dialogue.

Students try to study last minute.

Exams occur, and some are successful while others aren’t exactly. The teachers finally mention (amongst themselves and just to the reader) that they have not graded any of their students’ assignments throughout the entire year. Jayden has never received a double-digit (meaning more than 10%) on anything. They realize that they need to call the headmaster to make arrangements. She threatens to tell Hiyoshi’s dad (who is named Rintarou).

Chapter Four:

The students now have to do some extra credit since quite a few of them didn’t pass their classes. All of them are roped in though. This is pretty much community service. They have to find a cat named Basura and a bunny named Annabelle. More development happens as they eventually do return the two animals (Basura is a raccoon and not a cat by the way).

Chapter Five:

They end up going on a short trip for the rest of the spare day they have. No teachers end up saying what’s the trip about, but once they arrive, they find a crime scene that shouldn’t have been seen. It turns out that their job was to protect those in that town, and since it wasn’t seen as a major threat, they figured they were safe. They ended up being ambushed where the kids now had to use their powers to do something.

Wow, it took five chapters for this and was an inserted fight because they eventually had to wait longer. They’re still quite weak though.

After arriving back home, nobody exactly wanted to talk about the fact that they had just seen places where people died and actually watched some people die. Sera ends up eventually snapping and asking why they were sent there in the first place and why they weren’t sent earlier to do their jobs and protect the people. It’s explained that it was originally a low-grade threat, but since they were there and saw those crime scenes that weren’t touched since it was generally towards the outskirts, the students were told that they would’ve been killed if they’d been there at that moment in time.

Their teachers explain further saying that it isn’t uncommon for things like that to happen, but it is rare for information of these attacks to surface since the government officials do their best to keep it under the carpet. Sera officially says (informing her classmates) that she could’ve been killed alongside her family. Her classmates comfort her because welp, how are you supposed to support a classmate whose family was a victim of mass murder?

Chapter Six:

Sera and the rest of the students may be approaching the end of the year, but that’s used for an excuse so that they can renovate the school before getting into the colder months. They are given a week off school.

Celio, Hikari, Sera, and Ayden hang out. They end up listening to someone trash Sera over the rumours of her test results from the assessment surfacing. They are quickly put down by her friends as they go to Celio’s house and end up meeting his dad Carter. The friends do stuff.

This chapter is about Celio’s story surfacing.

“His birth mother dropped him at the steps of a house that belonged to Carter Zaveri. He took the child in even after discovering that the child would never see. His wife at the time (Johanna May) insisted on abandoning the child at an orphanage, but Carter refused resulting in their split. He now works as a doctor. Celio did not discover his history with Johanna until Chapter Six where Ayden read a letter to him that Hikari may or may not have exposed while reading books on his shelf.”

Chapter Seven:

They have a year-end tournament with the threat of expulsion if they do not win their match. Spoiler Alert: Nobody gets expelled. Why would they? They have fights that go along like this (the first person in the bracket won): Koa vs Matthias Jayden vs Eve Hikari vs Celio Ayden vs Sera However, due to the overuse of her power, Sera falls unconscious during the battle resulting in her losing from that cause. She is rushed to the infirmary and wakes up a week later to find out that none of their classmates got expelled. They all go out to eat afterwards then vacation starts.

Chapter Eight:

October 31st is not Halloween but is instead a day to honour the dead. Sera and Ayden meet there coincidentally. Ayden opens up that his parents didn’t take care of him for the majority of his life because his mother murdered his father in a fit of rage caused by his infidelity. His aunt on his mother’s side raised him until the age of eleven because she died of leukemia. They end up walking home (partially because Ayden was temporarily banned from public transit until further notice), and they briefly complain about none of their classmates or them being able to get jobs.

Finally, on the last day of the year, they meet, and exchange presents.

Chapter Nine:

Elemental weapons are weapons that can be brought out by a manipulator by using their energy and the mastery of their given element. This is explained to them.

But first, the teachers inform the students that they’re going to be celebrating Ayden’s birthday. Unfortunately, they didn’t get around to any birthdays the previous year because it was their first year as teachers and any mistake (which leads to their firing) would result in them not getting around to all their birthdays. This seemed to be a large concern because they are both highly irresponsible and are both walking liabilities.

Ayden didn’t seem to celebrate his birthday which was seen as odd since he was the type of person to make things about himself in those kinds of circumstances. But it is later revealed that he hates his birthday because it’s the exact day that his aunt (the person he looked up to) died. He blames himself for her death because she had to support him with the little amount of money she had while trying to pay for healthcare. She ultimately pushed herself too hard making herself sicker than she was originally resulting in her early departure. His classmates try to reason with him saying that it isn’t his fault, and Sera ends up kicking him across the face to snap out of it. She says that friends don’t bottle their anguish internally and that being strong isn’t shown by keeping it under wraps. She tells him to hit her with all he’s got. The other students go outside to call their teachers about the cancelled occasion (and to keep other students out of the classroom due to the amount of noise they were creating from the fight). Sera doesn’t fight Ayden back and instead accepts his blows. Once the teachers return, they find that many things in the classroom were broken. Upset, they soon realize the circumstances since the students informed them about Ayden’s aunt’s death. They ask whether Ayden is okay and feeling better to which, he says yes and asks whether they can resume the pizza plans the following day. They ask whether Sera is okay as well, but she lies and says that she’s fine (even though she’s in a lot of pain). Her teachers sense this and decide to drive her home even though it’s an “equally deadly experience”.

They go out for pizza, and Ayden gets a new mattress to replace his old one. He finally happily celebrates being thirteen as he begins to realize that he might actually like his birthday now.

Chapter Ten:

The kids go to the blacksmith house for a weapon orientation (despite not needing physical weapons) with their teachers along with weapon expertise from two side characters that I don’t know will have much of a role later on. Their names are Zahra and Ramiro. Don’t ask. I used a random name generator. They each receive a weapon. There is some fluff written in, but it’s not necessary to the story.

The students’ weapons:

Sera: Sword with flames Ayden: Double-ended naginata with poison Jayden: Kunai fans (two) Eve: Wires (which are used in combination with water) Koa: Staff with a hammerhead on each side. Matthias: A giant shuriken Celio: Two dual axes that can fuse together Hikari: Bow and arrow (arrows are produced by the archer)

Chapter Eleven:

Sera celebrates her birthday.

The kids go back to the blacksmith house for a checkup. It has only been a few weeks, so they find that they are not good with their weapons at all. They stay at the blacksmith for a three-day trip with a two-day training camp. During the final morning of their stay, they are awoken by a man screaming for help at their doorstep. Sera, being the only one who’s awakened by the noise, goes and opens the door. The man bursts in despite her trying to close the door after seeing who it is (since he has a similar appearance to the rogues mentioned in another chapter). Half-asleep Sera has no logic. I relate. Chaos ensues. The man states that he would take the “future rogue of four colours” (regarding Sera’s test) the antagonist. Edward seems very angry about it and ends up killing the rogue before getting any information out of him. Can they get away with murder? Yes, because once you are proven a rogue, your life is worth no more than an ant’s. They ask Sera why she opened the door in the first place. She says that she has the instinct to help those in need which is met with great criticism.

Chapter Twelve:

Rumours of the four colours starts to deepen. With Sera’s results almost being public knowledge, individuals start approaching and harassing her about the details which she doesn’t want to disclose. She gets the crap beaten out of her, and she isn’t allowed to fight back due to manipulators being frowned upon by the public. It’s a manipulator’s job is to protect the citizens, and with the rogue population on the rise, there is more mistrust in the manipulators than ever. Any action taken against citizens can result in automatic expulsion.

She has to prove (with the eventual help of her classmates after they found out in bad circumstances) that she is defending herself when she finally decides to fight back. She succeeds.

Chapter Thirteen:

Eve’s backstory is revealed when Matthias brings in a cat. Basically, Eve meets Jayden after having her cat killed by a bunch of little kid assholes.

Chapter Fourteen:

Ship stuff happens. I don’t know. I wrote it until 5am because I couldn’t sleep.

The old lady from chapter one (not really important but she’s still old) is dying and needs a plant for her treatment. They’re subjected to go to the outskirts and get it. There’s a thunderstorm going on. Hiyoshi and Edward are stupid and split everyone up. The rain causes the ground to give in while Hikari is looking, so while Celio is having some guilt about being literally a waste of space in their search, he almost fails to realize this. He jumps into action and shields Hikari’s fall at the expense of his physical well-being. He’ll survive. He eventually falls unconscious, and when Hikari gets up, she realizes what had just happened. She carries him as far as she can until they reach a higher point of ground at which point she signals for help. They’re eventually found and carried back by Matthias and Koa who find the plant but end up giving some of it to Hikari and Celio so that they would get a lot of the credit for all they’ve gone through. There are other points of view here, but they’re not “crucial to the plot”.

Chapter Fifteen:

We needed a vacation arc sometime, and I thought that it would be good to see how the kids reacted to going to a lake. That’s right. I’m not going to do a bathhouse or a beach. You kind of learn a bit more about the characters I guess, but this arc has not too much relevance to the overarching plot.

Chapter Sixteen (not yet written):

They go in for partnership testing. If that sounds like forced shipping, you aren’t completely wrong.

I’m not sure what the whole process is (I’ve changed it about five times).

The final pairings are as followed: Sera & Ayden Hikari & Celio Eve & Jayden Koa & Matthias

Future Plans and Developments?

The truth behind Sera’s backstory is revealed

Edward’s connection to the antagonist is revealed

Other backstories are revealed

Sera eventually does get captured (kind of like Kacchan) because she is seen as a “loose link that can defect and join the opposing side”

Ayden meets Sera’s brother Yuki who was supposed to be dead but isn’t

“Test of Courage” arc because I always wanted to have one of those other classic anime filler arcs

The origins of the powers and where they come from eventually get revealed far later

New powers are introduced

#dino rambles #I worked hard on this #someone please read it #it's embarrassing though #*sigh*

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austennerdita2533 · 6 years ago

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How do you think Rory and Jess are celebrating New Year's? Because they're together, right?! I like to think they are by now!

I’d like to believe they’re together, too! In fact, I’d like to believe it so much that I wrote a thing about it…a oneshot, if you will. The damn thing just poured out of me yesterday. I don’t know what happened, but there was no stopping it lol. Sorry not sorry.

(A03) (FF.net)

Happy New Year, my lovely friend! Here’s some post-revival Literati for you to start off 2019 right. 💗

xx Ashlee Bree

Like A Calendar, The Heart Skips Forward

With drunken crowds, ugly tinsel streamers which hang in windows, and snow that’s beginning to stick to the city streets in inches as deterrents, they decide to spend the night in. At home.

The baby’s with her grandparents tonight, probably high on too much sugar and Dr. Seuss. Knowing Luke, he’s likely baby proofing everything again to be safe while Lorelai’s using scary voices so her granddaughter never goes near the stove (but hey, neither did Rory, and she’s turned out fine, hasn’t she?), so she and Jess have plenty of time to themselves. That’s a rarity these days, especially with a toddler in the picture. Alone time seems possible only at ungodly hours in the morning anymore, or during nap time, or in stolen minutes between hectic work schedules. So they’re grateful to Mom and Luke for the offer to babysit every now and again. And they love to do it, to spoil her little angel rotten with small town affection and attention. All the people of Stars Hollow love it, too.

As for Rory and Jess, they enjoy these adult-only nights. It’s a time to revel in intellect, in intimacy.

They love to tune into the timbre of the other’s conversation and fade into each new day talking, listening. It’s exhilarating to them to share new ideas. To uncover deeper feelings in their relationship, but also for them to reach further into the world to figure out what more they can do. Experience. Be.

Parties hold no charms for them this evening. Neither do bars or over-priced concert tickets. Invites from friends go unanswered because they forget to read their messages. They’re more than content to spend the night far away from the end-of-the-year bombast, anyway, with nothing but each other and the hum of this ratty old radiator for company.

They live in an old building so it’s no one’s fault when a malfunction occurs, as one often does.

Luckily, the heat works fine thanks to Jess and his patient tinkering. (Rory never says it out loud, but she swears he’s inherited this from Luke.) Countless hours he spends bent over tools with a concentrative crease in his forehead because their super, Mel, is a slovenly middle-aged coot who binges too much Netflix and refuses to answer knocks on his door from any of his tenants past 9 P.M. Mel likes to blame this incompetence on narcolepsy, but truthfully, it’s because the couch has molded to his prone body by that point, the television playing episode after episode of Frasier or The West Wing, so why trouble himself to move? Better yet, why not put his ringer on silent and ignore all the incoming calls he receives?

(Spoiler alert: he does.)

Encountering one of the Seven Deadly Sins in an actual person still seems a little ridiculous to Rory, borderline unlikely here; especially in a city teeming full of worker bees who supposedly never sleep, but they’ve managed well enough with the radiator on their own. And by well, she means she’s prone to kicking the darn thing any time it roars like it’s a beast straight out of Kevin McCallister’s nightmares in Home Alone.

It’s cozy and comfortable in the apartment tonight, however. Just the way they like it.

That means Rory’s in her favorite pair of slippers, big cumbersome things with floppy ears and shaggy puppy faces curiously similar to Paul Anka’s. Her hair’s loose, fallen past her shoulders, and her arms are stuffed into an oversized Cashmere sweater. Meanwhile, her boyfriend’s walking around barefoot, half-naked in a pair of boxer briefs and a green v-neck tee, his jeans in a ball near the door, seemingly impervious to the December weather.

Is he secretly a werewolf or something, she wonders? An alien? Or just some weirdo who sweats when it’s only sixteen degrees outside, a furnace for girls like her who huddle closer for warmth and never utter a word of complaint?

Music plays low in the background. It’s a playlist curated on one of their phones. Songs from Bjork, the Clash, the Distillers, so many other new and old bands - their favorites - add to the ambiance of this eclectic space they call home.

A half-edited manuscript perches on the edge of the coffee table. Its pages are blotted with black ink and arrowed notes that spill wide into the margins because Jess had spent the morning editing his latest draft, unsatisfied because his characters aren’t where he wants them to be yet. Books litter the kitchen counter. They sit scattered across the floor in organized piles near shelves that are already overflowing, some still stuffed in paper bags because they’d pilfered a thrift shop earlier and now can find nowhere to store the bulky bastards. (Typical for a pair of bookworms who will never have enough reading material between them.)

Appointment reminders and cute little post-it notes stick to the refrigerator in an array of colors. Most are in Rory’s hand, flourished in cursive or silliness, except for the few Jess added by famous authors or musicians because the words moved him; or because he thought they’d start her day with a pretty thought. A smile. A laugh that’d brighten the blue of her eyes.

The living area’s a messy snapshot of their family life with its stench of stale coffee, cologne, and baby lotion. There’s a jacket thrown over the arm of a plush designer sofa and way too many half-empty boxes of Pop Tarts fighting for space in the cupboard with jars of smooth peanut butter and pureed carrots. A laundry basket holds many of the little one’s toys: choo-choo trains, baby dolls, a Batmobile, three sets of ABC blocks, a Wonder Woman figurine, and a stuffed robot aptly named Bee-Doo.

The remote control is always lost somewhere unknown. They might as well attach a key finder around its middle. Or perhaps they should rip up the floorboards instead - a lá the Tell-Tale Heart - because it never takes less than twenty minutes to find the stupid gadget. Either it’s buried under cushions, kicked under miles of folded clothing or prose, or it’s stuffed beneath pillows with spare kernels of popcorn and pens attached to the buttons. Worse than all of that, though, is how the lost-and-found treasure hunt never seems to diminish their scrolling-for-something-to-watch minutes at all. Not in the slightest!

Later, they order takeout from five of their favorite places. It’s too much food for two people to consume in one meal, but who cares? It’s never stopped her or her mother before, so why start now?

There’s pizza, burgers, Thai, Chinese, and one heaping order from that Indian place she’d found around the corner about a month after they’d moved to Brooklyn. It has the most delicious, pungent food so naturally that leaves Jess scrunching his nose and Rory twinkling appreciatively because he’s caved to her doe-eyed pout for once, her belly and heart happy for getting their way.

“See here, mister: victory is mine! I knew you loved me too much to deny me. Admit it,” she says before pecking him sweetly on the cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says after he pays for the delivery and dumps the bags on the table. “Whatever you say.” He remains noncommittal, but the truth shines in his eyes. “Just don’t complain about the cold when I open all the windows. It’ll take weeks to air out the stink in here—weeks. Probably three.”

“Two.”

“Three,” he fires back.

“Two.”

“Okay, two…maybe.” He brushes hair from her face and lets his fingers linger, then smiles her favorite crooked smile. “If we’re damn lucky, anyway.”

After dinner, they eat cheesecake with a bottle of wine. Ice cream with cones is Jess’s dessert preference usually, but they’re out, so they settle for booze and a tasty variation on dairy to help them compile their to-read lists for 2019. He’s on the left side of the sofa, her on the right. Call it a private, serious exercise. Extra points docked for peeking or flirting.

Such a silly idea it is, really, this hoarding then exchanging of lists. Yet it’s a fun way to pass the hours before midnight. Even more fun when they discover the selections that align, and those that don’t, sending them into a tizzy’d discussion about literature and writers the other still needs to know. Pretty soon, another list follows full of recommended titles Jess thinks she should read in the New Year, and vice versa.

Lane had called them a cute agoraphobic couple once, many years ago, if Rory remembers correctly. And by golly, what a label! If only she were here to see them right now, tangled in warmth and limbs and solitude.

She beams at the memory because that’s what she and Jess were back then. It’s what they still are. It’s who they want to be this New Year’s Eve, and the next…and the next…and for every one after for as long as they can live them like this: in love, happy, and together. They’d live this way forever, if only wishes like this could be granted.

“What I wouldn’t give for a Fairy Godmother right now,” she blurts out without thinking, all wrapped up in blankets and curled tight into his chest. “To have a dash of Disney magic or two in my possession would be supercalifragilistic.”

“Why? You don’t need saving.”

“That’s true.”

“So is it Prince Charming you’re after?” Jess asks with a quirk of the eyebrow.

Frowning, “What kind of girl do you take me for? I’m a feminist.”

“You want to freeze the world like Elsa then, huh? Is that it?”

“No.” Tracing his lips with her forefinger, Rory pauses. Reconsiders. “Well, I mean…only if I got to spend all of that time skating across it with you.”

“You mean falling,” Jess mutters.

“Rude! Read my lips: skating.”

He shrugs then. It’s followed by a smirk. “Impossible things are happening every day…or so it goes.”

Giggling, she shoves him, then covers her mouth with her hands.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re quoting Whitney Houston from Roger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. Who are you?”

“Like you haven’t seen it. Give me a break.”

“Many times,” she says, “but that’s not the point. The point is you’ve given a Gilmore ammunition to mock you for the rest of your life. Hasn’t Luke warned you about this? We’re unapologetic mockers, Mom and I.”

“Jeez, you’re mean,” Jess says with a shake of his head and an affectionate pinch to her side. “I should start calling you Grory.”

“Hey, no fair! I’m no Grinch. No Grendel, either.”

“Pre-coffee, that’s arguable.”

“I demand a re-write,” she says, crossing her arms, determined for her pout to win out for a second time.

“No way,” he replies. “That’s too much work, Green One.”

“Fine. As long as you realize you’re stuck with me regardless.”

“Am I?”

“Aren’t you?” Rory asks like a question that dangles then deflates. Her voice catches with uncertainty. The sound’s worse than the squeal a lobster makes in a boiling pot as she shifts onto her ankles on the sofa to pin him with a wide-eyed look, her heart pounding, mouth drier than Death Valley in the middle of a drought. Color rushes to her cheeks because Jess remains silent before her…because he reaches for the tattered copy of Persuasion that’s perched near his feet so he can underline one of Captain Wentworth’s most famous passages in black ink. I can listen no longer in silence, it reads. You pierce my soul. She knows the quote well. She knows it by heart.

However, it’s not until Jess scribbles down his own line onto the page with some rogue pen he’s found teetering on a shoe with no mate, his hand trembling, the apple in his throat bobbing like it’s been pinched by some invisible force he never saw coming; and it isn’t until he places the book in her lap so she can read what he wrote, that joyful disbelief betrays her. That her tears start flowing and flowing. They cover her face in red-eyed tenderness and devotion.

One look back at him, and she knows he feels the same. The love between them so real and so right, it fills the calendar with fulfillment they no longer wish to live without.

Marry me?

Two words, and the jerk’s a poet. Two words, and it’s only him she sees. Two words, one question, and Rory’s faced with an answer that takes no energy to give at all.

I’d be honored to be the Anne to your Wentworth, she writes back with shaky fingers and a grin so big she can barely see. So yes! Yes! A million times yes!

Wine switches to scotch sooner rather than later after that. Then talking turns to kissing, kissing moves to roving touches without either one of them noticing.

Both hands of the clock reach nearer and nearer to twelve as Rory pauses the movie they weren’t actually watching with a yawn, her sapphire diamond sparkling in the T.V’s muted light. Then she stands to refill their glasses one final time before 2018 ends, slippers scratching against the carpet. Jess wraps his arms around her waist while she pours. He smells of booze and sex and home.

Eyes closed and body rocking, he places a kiss against her arm, her shoulder, her neck, her mouth. He leaves a promise there that tastes of all that awaits them and more.

Together, they watch the snowflakes fall and drift to the fire escape outside their window, a moment of quiet before they pack the rest of the leftovers away so they can head to bed with this year lapsed behind them like another chapter closing. The page turns, and before they know it, December endings become January beginnings. The calendar’s blank and in wait for prose that has yet to be written, both of them looking forward to another 365 days full of learning, laughter, commitment, and so many more family firsts along the way.

#ksfd89 #literati #literati drabbles #literati fanfiction #rory and jess #ashlee bree's writing endeavors #my writing brain has two modes #either 1) blocked; or 2) write 2k in one sitting #there is no in-between

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sapphicscholar · 7 years ago

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A/N: It should be pretty obvious as the timeline gets clearer over the chapters, but I've aged up most of the main cast to make their career trajectories fit

Big thanks to @performativezippers for ALL the delightful title suggestions (seriously, 10/10, A+ all around, even the ones that didn’t make the cut). And thank you to @lurkz for listening to me dork out about politics and giving a first read through!

Chapter Text:

“As much as I have appreciated your support and enthusiasm—and believe me, I have. You are the ones who made this experience possible, who inspired me to get out there day in and day out—I will be suspending my campaign for the time being,” Cat Grant announced. A hush fell over the room full of once rowdy and boisterous supporters, though after a moment of stunned silence, the room filled once more with shouts and questions and pleas to stay in the race. But Cat was already making her way off the stage and out to her waiting car, directing a few members of her team to stay behind and field questions, even if it just meant giving them vague pleasantries and the always frustrating reply of: “She has no comment at this time,” which was all the more frustrating because she did have a comment. Dammit, she was Cat Grant; she had a thousand and one perfectly worded comments. But each one of them would mean putting Kara in danger, so she kept quiet—a sacrifice she would willingly make again and again.

[4 months ago, October]

“Oh, and get Kara on the phone for tomorrow,” Cat added, drumming her perfectly manicured nails against the top of her desk, her mind whirring as she thought through her plan.

“Kara…?” Eve trailed off, a question in her voice that she wasn’t quite brave enough to voice as such.

“Danvers,” James cut in, earning himself a rare smile from Cat. “I’ll get you her personal email in a few.”

“That will be all.” With a flick of her wrist, Cat dismissed the group of core campaign staff that had gathered in her office for their weekly Monday morning briefing. When she looked up, however, she found James still lingering in her office. “What is it?”

“I—why are you calling Kara in?”

“Because I’d just love to know where she finds those poly-blend tartan skirts and clashing, kindergarten teacher cardigans—would really hammer home my message next debate, I think.” Her wit was as scathing as ever; apparently no amount of shaking hands and smiling and kissing babies would ever change some things.

“I mean, are you interviewing her for something?” It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his friend succeeding—and surely, after last night’s debate performance, being a part of Cat Grant’s team would be seen as success—but he’d been there for the fallout after the last campaign, after the last time Cat left Kara behind.

Leveling him with a glare that would have sent most of her staff scurrying, Cat snapped, “I don’t pay you to question my decisions.”

“Sorry,” James muttered, turning on his heel and striding out of the office and over to Eve’s desk, figuring the least he could do was to make sure that Kara at least received the invitation. Whether or not she accepted was her decision to make.

Once he finished helping Eve, he slipped down the hallway and knocked lightly on the door to Lucy’s office. Even though she wasn’t in the inner circle the way she had been during Cat’s years in office as governor, she still tended to know gossip before almost everyone.

“Yeah?” Lucy called out.

“Hey,” James greeted, sticking his head in the doorway. “You free?”

“I’ll head out,” Alex offered, pushing up off of the desk and pulling herself back to a standing position.

“You’re just as much a part of this campaign as anyone else,” Lucy corrected her, gesturing for Alex to sit—though perhaps in a real chair this time.

Alex shrugged; she hadn’t gotten used to the idea of working full time for one single candidate. After nearly a decade of work based out of the DEO’s offices and constantly flying from city to city to help put out fires and manage crises as they arose, she was still working on learning what it meant to pledge loyalty to a person, rather than to J’onn and the DEO. Of course, he’d encouraged her, told her she could hold onto her DEO affiliation—it looked good for them, after all, and he wanted to claim credit for the work of his protégé—but she missed working at his side.

“You are,” James insisted, smiling warmly and taking the seat beside her as he nudged the door shut with his foot. Though, now that he thought about it, perhaps Alex wasn’t the best person to tell about Kara… She might be on Cat’s payroll, but her willingness to sever ties with clients who violated her rather strict personal codes—almost all of which seemed to revolve around the small handful of people she deemed worthy of her protection—was legendary throughout DC.

“So what do you need to know?”

“I could have just dropped in to say hello, Luce.” She arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him and crossed her arms until he relented. “Okay, yes, fine. What do you know about…uh, tomorrow’s phone meeting?”

“What meeting?”

“Lucy Lane, not in on the gossip?” Alex looked genuinely astounded. Even though she was basically paid to know all the dirty details that never made it into the papers if she did her job right, Lucy often managed to be one step ahead of her when it came to the inner workings of Cat’s office.

“Hush, I still knew that Eve was sleeping with the new volunteer coordinator before they’d even stumbled out of the supply closet.”

Alex shuddered. “He was a walking, talking time bomb of a scandal.”

“And that’s why you had Cat fire him.”

“Among other reasons.”

Lucy snorted at the memory of Alex’s face when Mike had tried to hit on one of the new volunteers in front of her. The loud reaming out he got from Alex about abuses of power and inappropriate behavior in the workplace had been worth the meeting she’d been forced to have with the woman about why threatening physical violence against staff members, even those on their way out, was decidedly not a good idea from a legal perspective.

Remembering how they had gotten here, Lucy turned her attention back to James. “What’s this about a mysterious meeting?”

“Oh, uh…” James hesitated, casting a wary eye in Alex’s direction.

“If a scandal is brewing, it’s best I know about it now.”

“No, nothing like that. Cat asked Eve to set up a phone meeting with Kara.”

“As in my sister Kara?”

“That would be the one.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes, running through the possibilities for why she might want to talk to Kara. “Think she’s gonna try to get her on the campaign team? They worked pretty well together back when she made her run for governor…”

“Once she started calling her by her actual name,” Alex huffed.

“Would Kara even consider it?” James asked, looking more to Alex than Lucy. Sure, Lucy had gotten to know Kara since coming back to DC with Cat to stay on as her legal advisor after their four years in Sacramento, but she hadn’t been there the first time Cat left.

Alex shrugged. “She’s gotten older.”

“But I’ve never seen her that upset.” She’d shown up at James’ apartment the week after the election, tears streaking down her cheeks and unwilling to even talk about what had happened until she’d finished her first pint of Half Baked. Eventually she told him about how Cat had called her into her office only to offer her a glowing letter of recommendation for whatever job she wanted next. To anyone else, that would have been ideal, but Kara had expected to keep working with Cat, to be invited to come with her to Sacramento from National City. He still wasn’t sure exactly why she’d been as devastated as she was, but eventually she called in the promised recommendation and moved across the country to DC where she took up a post as a high-ranking congressional staffer.

“She made the best of it—got her foot in the door, and look at how well she’s done for herself since. I’m not saying Cat deserves to get her back, but I’m not about to dictate what Kara can and can’t do,” Alex said.

“That’s not what I’m saying, I just…” James trailed off, shaking his head. “I don’t know. I don’t want to see her get hurt again.”

“I think she’s been in this town long enough to hope for the best but not really to expect it anymore.” Watching Kara lose some of the optimism that she had clung to since childhood—her persistent belief that there had to be some greater purpose in all of it—had been painful, but Alex was glad to see a bit of realism infused into her perspective, even if she still had a tendency to buy into the relentless idealism of candidates that Alex had a hard time stomaching.

“I hope so.”

As the conversation turned to lighter topics—namely, Winn’s terrible blind date the night before that James had the good fortune of hearing all about on their metro ride in that morning—Alex’s phone trilled with a loud alarm.

Lucy cringed. “Christ, Alex, not everything is a crisis anymore. Maybe you turn that volume down.”

“I’m still a crisis manager.”

“No, I wrote your contract. I know for a fact that you are a ‘political consultant.’”

“Speaking of which,” Alex sighed, looking at the meeting reminder on her phone, “I’ve got to go meet with the research team.”

“Cheer up. When you’re done, you’ll be an hour closer to happy hour.”

Grumbling about unnecessary meetings and interaction with other people, Alex straightened her blazer and wandered down the hallways she was still learning to navigate until she found the smaller conference room Cat preferred for meetings. A handful of people, only some of whom she recognized, had already found their seats at the table and pulled out papers or opened laptops to spreadsheets and documents. Fighting the urge to run back for something to use as a prop, Alex reminded herself that she had prepared, that her job wasn’t the same as theirs and she was damn good at what she did. No one trained under J’onn for as long as she had and came out of it unqualified.

The telltale click of heels alerted everyone in the room to Cat’s approach just a moment or two before she strolled in, phone clutched in one hand and a latte in the other. “You’re all here?” It wasn’t really a question, at least not one anyone would dare answer in the negative. “We’ll start with the topics we’ve gotten traction on since last night’s debate. Education—go.”

“Ah right.” A young man Alex was fairly certain was named Rob adjusted his glasses as he shuffled his papers. “You got some really positive op-eds in the Times—LA and New York, a real coast-to-coast marvel,” he clarified with a small chuckle at his own remarks. It was nerdy enough that Alex smiled. “The Daily Planet was a bit more neutral, but no overt criticism.”

“No surprise there,” Cat drawled.

“You’ve got a few religious lobbying groups that are upset that you dismissed school vouchers, but no one in the party base would really expect you to say otherwise unless you were in Philly or Boston or one of those cities that’s Catholic enough that people identify themselves by parish.” Cat didn’t seem upset, though she jotted down a few notes. “And there’s been some talk about support for you coming from the Silicon Valley start ups—keep talking about increased funding for STEM education, and we might get a couple early campaign endorsements.”

“Any follow up?” Cat asked, looking out at everyone else, especially Alex. When there were no takers, she quickly checked off education and moved to the next item—she was nothing if not efficient.

By the time they made it to international affairs, Alex felt like she had a handle on how these meetings might go. Informed updates. A follow up question or two, especially when Cat wasn’t satisfied. Sometimes orders about new research to be undertaken—polls, reports, and the like. And then on to the next one. But when Kelly wrapped up her presentation on foreign affairs, Cat’s offer for further commentary wasn’t met with its customary silence. Instead another woman, one Alex didn’t recognize, cleared her throat and leaned in to the table.

“When asked about aid and disaster relief, you didn’t touch on some of the most prominent humanitarian crises. Look at Venezuela, Yemen, Syria. You barely touched on immigration and failed to offer any statements on your policies about refugees and asylum seekers.”

“Because it’s a political landmine,” Alex interjected. “Offering anything concrete this early when public opinion is as volatile as it has been on those issues would be a horrible idea.”

“Speaking up now would set us apart as the campaign finally talking about these topics, the campaign that doesn’t just offer vague platitudes about respecting human rights but actually gives concrete policies and solutions.”

“So that they can be brought up and derided and criticized by every single other candidate who was smart enough not to go specific this early in the game?”

“So that the young voters who care about these topics more than almost any other generation will show up for us.”

“They don’t outnumber the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers who won’t get behind a progressivism that starts spouting things about open borders with little to no security.”

“So you don’t care about everyone dying? Because that’s what those young people you’re so quick to dismiss will say, and they’ve been building grassroots organizations that have more reach than you care to admit.”

“I’m not paid to talk about things I care about; I’m paid to get Cat Grant elected president. As are you. You might want to start acting like it.”

“Ladies, ladies,” Cat cut in, looking mildly intrigued rather than simply annoyed. “I appreciate the passion, but let’s move some of these discussions to later strategy meetings.” Alex slumped back into her seat, resigned to dealing with the other woman’s frustratingly naïve idealism later. “Now, Maggie, how’d we do on human rights and advocacy issues—setting aside questions of international crises for now, please,” she added with a tinge of exasperation in her voice.

“Right.” The woman—Maggie—had the decency to look chagrined at least, Alex thought. She paid close attention as she spoke, finding herself almost disappointed at how thorough she had been, pulling sources from both sides of the aisle as she went through a rather comprehensive list of issues. When Cat asked for questions, Alex realized she had none.

“Before we adjourn, anything to add? Alex?” Cat peered over her glasses and down the table to where Alex had settled herself at the opposite end.

“Not yet. It’s early—now that you’ve proven yourself, I’m sure they’ll start to come for you. Until then, we wait. Stay smart, but don’t get overly defensive about slight criticisms.” She couldn’t hold back a pointed glare in Maggie’s direction.

“Alright then. Back to work with you all.”

Maggie sidled up next to Alex, leaning her hip against the table as she cocked her head to the side and regarded the woman. “So, what issue did you once care about only to have your heart broken?”

“What?”

“I mean…no one gets that jaded that fast without a reason.”

“I’ve lived in DC for over a decade.”

“Mm.” Maggie paused to consider it. “I suppose that could do it too.”

“What liberal enclave did we drag you out of?”

“Blue Springs, Nebraska,” Maggie answered, grinning at the surprised look Alex was quick to suppress—but not quite quick enough.

“Ah, well…I suppose idealism doesn’t have borders—just what you want for the country, right?”

“If that’s what you need to think to dismiss my proposals, sure.”

With a huff of annoyance, Alex stood up and stormed back to her office, determined to see Lucy and find out who the hell this woman was and how much longer they’d have to wait before she got shipped back to the middle of nowhere, Nebraska.

---

Chewing on the end of her pencil, Kara read the email from an Eve Teschmacher for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. It was short with little in the way of information:

Dear Ms. Danvers, I’m writing from Cat Grant’s campaign headquarters to see if you might be available for a phone conversation with the candidate. Please send me three times that would work for you at your earliest convenience, and I’ll schedule a time for you to speak with Ms. Grant. Sincerely, Eve Teschmacher

She cast a longing glance over at Alex’s whiskey, wishing, not for the first time, that it had an effect on her. Eventually she dialed her sister and curled up on the sofa.

After just two rings, Alex answered. “Hey.”

“Hey. How’s the start of your second week?”

“Ugh, I miss J’onn.”

“Ya know, back when you started I never expected you to be the poster child for the Department of Extranormal Operations.”

“Just call it the DEO,” Alex sighed, a slight laugh in her voice.

“Did you realize it sounds like you guys work on alien issues? Too many calls about UFOs and ET in people’s backyards?”

“We handle crises. They are extranormal events.” After a moment, Alex finally relented. “Okay, yes, fine. I didn’t name it!”

“I know, I know.”

“Plus, everything in this town goes by an acronym anyway.”

“Even the town,” Kara added with a laugh. “But what’s making you miss J’onn? Is it the lack of Oreos? I know Cat’s not big on junk food.” It wasn’t true of course; Kara had kept her office stocked with M&Ms. But she projected a certain image, and Kara wouldn’t be the one to bring it down, no matter how things had gone between them.

“No, no. Just some new researcher. The human right strategist or something. Thinks she knows better than everyone else. It’s my job to know what might cause an uproar, the kinds of things that bring down campaigns.”

“Aww, I’m sorry,” Kara commiserated. “If it makes you feel any better, I had a shitty day too.”

“Kara, it never makes me feel better when you’re upset.”

“Don’t let anyone hear you saying that. They might go thinking you’re a nice person.”

“Oh hush. So what happened to you? Whose ass do I need to kick?”

“Nothing like that. It’s actually—well, it’s your boss. Or her new assistant—Eve something.”

“Ah, the scheduler.”

“Yeah, she emailed me about having a phone conversation with Cat. Know why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she wants you to come work for her again?”

Kara scoffed, shaking her head. “Yeah, doubt it. If she thought I was good, she’d have kept me on her team.”

“Hey, you’re plenty good. There’s a reason she sang your praises to everyone in this town. You could’ve gotten a job just about anywhere with her good word. Or, well, I guess mainly just with Democrats, but you get the idea.”

“I don’t—it’s not—I don’t know, Alex.” Kara burrowed slightly further into the blanket nest she’d built up around her while they talked. She’d gotten over the hurt, for the most part, but she still longed for an explanation—though she feared she already knew the real reason.

After a few moments of quiet, Alex spoke up. “Do you think you’re gonna talk to her?”

“I don’t know. Yes? Maybe? Probably?”

“Alright. Well you let me know if I need to kick her ass for you, okay?”

“Didn’t you just get a stern lecture about not threatening people at the office?”

“I’m going to kill Lucy.”

“There you go again!” Kara teased, laughing loudly at the sounds of annoyance she could hear through the line. “Anyway, I’ll let ya go. I just wanted to talk for a minute.”

“Still up for Thursday happy hour?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Once she hung up with Alex, Kara flipped on the TV, intent on distracting herself for the rest of the night. Only, a few hours later, she felt like she couldn’t remember a minute of anything she’d seen, and she knew it would be a sleepless night if she left that email glaring up at her from her inbox.

Pulling it up, she began typing up a response, clicking through her calendar and finding times when she wouldn’t necessarily be missed from the office. Luckily it wasn’t close to an election year for Senator Rosen, so things were much quieter than they were elsewhere on the Hill.

Before she could hit send, in an act of bravery—or maybe it was just reckless, pent-up anger—she hadn’t anticipated, Kara switched over to her contacts and pulled up a number she hadn’t called in years.

“Hello?” Cat’s voice was cautious, and Kara could hear the news playing in the background. Apparently not much had changed.

“I hear you want to talk to me,” Kara said, catching the hitch in Cat’s breath that no human would have heard.

“I—yes, I had Eve email you about finding a time for us to speak.”

“Well, now works best for me, Cat. So what is it you want?”

“You really are a true Washingtonian these days, aren’t you?” When Kara didn’t respond, Cat continued, “As you probably know, I’m running for president.”

“Since I don’t live under a rock, yes, I am aware.”

“Right.” Kara was somewhat gratified to hear Cat sound rattled for a change. “My team’s done well so far. They’ve gotten me to where I am, and I’m grateful.” She paused, trying to find the right words, a diplomatic phrasing lest something be leaked to the press. “But they’re missing something.”

“Okay…”

“I think that something could be you, Kara.”

Kara hated herself for the way her heart sped up at that. “What do you mean?”

“Come work for me again.”

“Cat, I’m Senator Rosen’s chief of staff. I’m not coming back to be your personal assistant just because I was better than any of the other ones you had.”

“Good, I would be disappointed if you ever offered to drop back down to that level.”

“Then what is it you’re asking?”

“Come be my campaign manager.”

Kara gasped—she couldn’t help it. “Excuse me?”

“Greg is…adequate. Things function. But he’s not good or great. And you, Kara, you were always exceptional.”

“Cat…”

Hearing the warning tone in Kara’s voice, Cat cleared her throat. “Just think about it? We always did make a good team.”

“Did, Cat. Past tense.”

“I needed to let you dive—on your own, without my holding you back. And you did. Look at what you’ve done!”

Deciding to ignore what felt like half of the explanation she’d wanted for years now, Kara turned back to the job offer. “You know if I’m your campaign manager, you have to listen to me, right? I get a say. I can tell you no.”

“I still have the final decision.”

“Yes…but you don’t run a campaign by undercutting your right hand person every step of the way.”

“No, you don’t,” Cat conceded. “And I don’t plan on doing that with you. I saw what you did for Rosen. I could use someone like you by my side.”

“Give me 48 hours to decide.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

#political au #supercat #sanvers #supercat sanvers 2020 #cat grant #kara danvers #lucy lane #alex danvers #james olsen #maggie sawyer #winn schott #slow burn #fanfic #supergirl #ao3feed

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audreysl0ve · 7 years ago

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Signed Sealed Delivered: Jealousy

Written for a prompt SSD: Robin is jealous (actually ended up filling at least one other prompt too).

And okay, you guys know that my fics are usually a bit raunchy but i’m letting you know that this is VERY raunchy.

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone for keeping me going on this fic and telling me not to delete all the porn and make this PG rated. @somewhereapart, @repellomuggletum15, @the-alpha-incipiens, @starscythe, @brookeap3, you guys are the best.

special thanks to bea for being my beta, and to Jen for great sex toy advice, lol. The toy featured in this fic is the womanizer and everyone should have it.

He hadn’t been snooping. Truly.

He’d just been using her computer to check his email, just to make sure nothing pressing was happening in that full week between Christmas and New Year’s. He’s taken the whole week off after Christmas Eve, and despite it being a verryyy last minute vacation, his employer had understood, assuring him it would a slow week, and it would be unlikely any clients would call with pressing needs. Besides, as his boss Carmella had conveyed, he needed another mini-honeymoon with his wife.

So he had just been reading over his emails, calming any anxiety about his impromptu holiday. And then the chat window had appeared out of nowhere.

Hey, beautiful. Long time no chat! I texted you but I didn’t hear back. Just checking— are we still meeting next week?

His breath is still caught in his chest, heart still racing as he pours over the message for the fifth time..

He shouldn’t click that chat — he really shouldn’t. But he does anyway, because he’s a weak, sad little man.

It takes him to Regina’s profile.

He can’t breathe. Good god on high, she’s so bloody beautiful in the photos she picked. It’s nothing sexy, just these very natural, candid shots of her — two of which he can remember taking himself — and she just looks, well, perfect.

Roland is not pictured on her profile but she mentions him, and the fact she’s a package deal and those who cannot love children need not contact her.

It seems this requirement has done nothing to take down the amount of suitors, however.

He should not be looking, but he’s so hurt and scared, he can’t help him himself. He goes to her inbox and checks recent messages. Of course her page is full of messages from men. Of course it is.

He swallows down the bile rising up his throat as he reads messages from men to his wife, his, dammit.

It cuts deeply, and it’s terrifying. He knows Regina is a catch, he’s never lost sight of that fact.

But these men, some of them aren’t really bad men (he shouldn’t be looking, shouldn’t be looking at this). They are good looking professionals. Doctors and engineers and architects, a vice president of a large tech firm… wealthy men. Powerful men.

Men who might be able to give her a better life than he can.

It’s strange, though. She doesn’t reply all that often. He can see a day or two where she responded to a couple of men, with something short, but there are no long conversations (he should not be looking at this, should not at all, the voice repeats in his head like a dull drum beat he’s set on ignoring, apparently). She’s very selective. But there are a few men she’s responded to, and this guy who recently messaged her appears to be one of only a handful that she’s ever written back. Someone she talked to quite a bit (he sees the string of messages and resists reading it and pouring through every last word).

Robin snoops on this guy’s profile (his name is Andrew, but the man doesn’t deserve a name at all in his opinion).

This is a man who, he recalls, has Regina’s phone number, fuck, she trusted him that much. He’s a pediatrician who works in the city and lives in Mclean, Virginia. He’s has dirty blonde hair and these bright blue eyes and has a six-year-old son of his own.

Robin hates him. Hates him, despite the fact that on paper they seem like they would get along just fine. They both enjoy rugby, a good lager, and activities Robin has come to enjoy in the states like whitewater rafting, skydiving, and mountain climbing. And he loves his family, two brothers and a very loving mother and father who love their grandchildren.

He thinks of his wife going on long camping weekends, his child playing with this guy’s child, and it’s enough to send him into a mini-panic attack.

He almost lost everything.

Everything.

Almost, but he didn’t.

Right?

It’s been three days since Christmas Eve, and Regina and Robin have… been a little preoccupied. Each day has been filled soaking up every activity they can milk out of Roland, and quite frankly they have fucked each other into exhaustion every night (not that he is complaining).

They haven’t really talked too much about the future yet, besides the little talk on Christmas Eve where Regina made it clear she wants him to live with her. She made her choice, he knows she did. She’s not leaving him. They are together.

But some deep rooted insecurity inside him has him wondering why the ivy-league, all-American doctor with a mansion in McLean and a beautiful family isn’t a hell of a lot better than Robin. He won’t be able to afford that, he can’t give her first-class trips to Rio and Peru and Tokyo. He can’t give her a picture perfect family right out of a Hallmark movie. His family is broken and messy and complicated and not what she deserves.

And it sounds silly but he worries maybe she didn’t make the right choice.

He closes the browser and deletes the browser history, his mouth dry and his stomach flip flopping.

He should not have seen this. It’s an invasion of her privacy, and shamefully pathetic that he even looked at all. He should just pretend he never saw it, right?

He shouldn’t talk to her about it. He has no right to be upset or hurt. She did nothing wrong.

But frankly he promised her honesty and the thought of keeping this from her seems worse than confessing.

He’s still trying to work out what to do when she comes into the den, oblivious to what has just happened.

“Hey, babe,” she leans over to kiss his cheek. “Roland is out like a light.”

He swallows thickly, tries to put what he’s seen out of his head. “He had a busy morning,” he replies, trying to keep his voice steady and nonchalant. But she can tell something is off right away, raising an eyebrow and looking rather concerned.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen with work?”

“No, everything’s fine at work,” he says. He’s still sitting at her little desk, laptop opened to his work email. He shouldn’t tell her, it’s just going to start a fight, she’ll be so mad at him for this, and she has every right to be so, yet…

He takes a deep breath and turns to her, swiveling the little chair away from the laptop.

“I… uh, saw something I should not have,” he says, motioning back to the screen.

She looks genuinely confused, searching her mind for what he could have seen.

“A message for you popped up, and I know I shouldn’t have, but… I looked, and…”

“What message?” she asks. She sits on his lap and motions at the computer, and okay, this is a good sign. She doesn’t seem terribly upset.

He sighs and types in the address of her profile. He doesn’t look at her face, so he misses the way she frowns at the sight of it.

She takes his hand off the laptop and replaces it with her own, and checks her inbox.

“Oh. Andrew.”

He grimaces. He doesn’t like hearing that man’s name out of his wife’s mouth.

“Yeah…” Robin says dumbly, not sure how to voice exactly what he’s feeling.

She sighs and turns to him, looking a bit defensive as she reminds him, “Robin, we were broken up. And you fucked Marian. And at the time I thought you two were still dating and this is none of your—” she starts to get off his lap as she speaks, but he is a weak man and the idea of her leaving him is awful, so he reaches out for her, urging her to sit back on his lap. She does.

“I know, I know, I’m not mad at you and you had every right to move on. I mean, you have every right to… you still have that right.” His voice sounds high and pitchy, and he hates it.

“What are you saying?” Her head tilts as she stares at him half-annoyed, half-curious.

“I… looked at his profile,” Robin explains, holding his hand up as she stiffens and opens her mouth to protest, “I know, I have no right, but it happened so fast, and I just…” he shakes his head. “I have no excuse. But he’s a good man, it seems, with a good family, and plenty of money, and…”

She furrows her brows. “Are you jealous of Andrew?”

“Not just Andrew,” he says before he can think better of it. “There are so many guys who want you—”

“You looked at other messages?”

“No, I just… I saw them and looked at the profiles of some—”

That’s enough, it seems. She gets off his lap, putting her hand in her head as she walks away. He feels the loss of her immediately, and it leaves him cold and anxious. Shit, this is a mess. “You read those, oh god…” She sounds less angry than he expected more… upset. The way her cheeks pink and flush he’d almost swear embarrassed is the emotion she feels, but that can’t be it. She has nothing to be embarrassed about.

“I didn’t read them, I just…” He sighs. God, herself ’s an ass. “I visited some of the profiles of those you wrote back to but I didn’t read the conversations, I swear, and I’m not accusing you of anything, that’s not what that is about.”

“Then what is this about?”

“I’ve always known that you could have anyone you wanted, never doubted it for a second, but seeing it, it’s just…”

A shy smile spreads over her face. “Oh. I was quite popular on that site.”

“Of course you were,” he says emphatically. “You’re a catch in every way. And those are men who… they can give you things I can’t.”

She sits down on the couch, that smile splitting wider across her face. “You mean like a summer home in Tuscany and a six-bedroom home in an exclusive neighborhood right outside of D.C.,” she surmises.

He nods.

“When have I ever cared about that sort thing?”

Never. If she had cared, she would have married one of those men her mom kept trying to set her up with.

He knows this, he should know this, but hearing her say it brings him more relief than he would care to admit.

“You still deserve it. And I want to be the best for you.”

“You already are,” she assures. She walks back towards him and takes a seat back on his lap. “You give me things no one else can.”

She’s too good to him. She knows he needs affection now and she gives it freely, nuzzling into his neck and cuddling him as if he were a child (he is, at this point). His fingers skim down her back.

“Like what?” He cannot help but ask, insecurity bleeding into the question.

“Do you want to read the conversations?” she asks. “I feel like all jealousy you have will be gone if you read them. Though I’m dreadfully embarrassed of my flirting skills in text form.” She cringes, and so does he, but for different reasons.

Continue on FF.net

#oq ff #outlaw queen #outlaw queen ff #signed sealed delivered #oq fanfic

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cosmosogler · 8 years ago

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hello. i had a little trouble falling asleep last night. i like to pet eve while she falls asleep, but it’s not the most comfortable position for me, as i usually prefer to sleep on my other side. i think for the first time in weeks i actually DIDN’T have to get up after laying there for 30 minutes, which was nice, as that means i actually fell asleep 30 minutes earlier than it usually takes me. since when i get up i usually have to start falling asleep all over.

i didn’t manage to do anything productive before i left for lunch. i met with linda and david and we hung out and nibbled on our food and talked for two hours. it was nice. i made a mistake though. when they asked how i continued studying physics without any emotional support from my parents i said “because i hate myself” and they got REALLY concerned.

i guess that is kind of a vicious comment. i tend to laugh after i say it so people my age react like it might have been a joke. they cut through the usual bs i pad my depression admissions with though and asked if i was doing ok and if i was talking to a counselor.

they talked a lot about pearl and al. i remember that pearl liked to talk about linda and david whenever i went to visit, but i filed them away as “people i don’t know” even though she would tell me they lived in the same area as me. but now i know them, so now i am visiting with them.

when i got home i played outside with wiley until we were both exhausted. eve ran around a little bit, but i think she got hot really fast. wiley has thick, long fur, but eve is black.

i was way too sore and pained to do anything all afternoon. i didn’t make any phone calls. though i did pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy and checked on my refills. and i called and talked to oz and mario for a while. oz showed me a really fun app for your phone where you throw paper airplanes around the world and stamp ones that come to you. i found airplanes stamped from all sorts of places. i showed it to dad later and he liked it too. there’s no names attached, just cities and dates.

i spent a long time downstairs hanging out with the dogs while i waited for mom and dad to make a decision about dinner. and i cleaned the pool while dad did yard work. the tree on the sidewalk that runs behind our backyard is in bloom and the little yellow flowers and pollen have coated our backyard. birds mistake the pool for a bed of flowers and try to land in it. dad had to fish a poor drowned bird out of it the other day. basically we just take a net and run it along the pool’s surface around the outside and that clears it up a little bit. the vacuum and filters are always clogged after two or three days this time of year.

then we had pizza for dinner. i don’t like the restaurant mom gets the pizza from very much. they don’t seem to mix the toppings and sauce very well. at least domino’s gets the right sauce/cheese ratio and their crust doesn’t take up half the slice. even little caesars is like, the taste is bland enough that you just kinda taste the dipping sauce.

while i was waiting for dinner i did some research on the effects of aging on dogs, and symptoms to look for that aren’t just age. i’m gonna try moving to hand commands with eve over the next few weeks and see if she picks it up while she can still hear. did you know that macaws can live like 80 years? even pigeons can hit 15 when kept as pets. urban pigeons only usually make it to 3 or 4, which is really sad and also a sign that they are probably more suited to life as pets. maybe if i figure out how to keep birds i will take in some pigeons.

hmm. tomorrow i am going to gramma’s house to prepare for the easter gathering on sunday. it mostly involves painting eggs and maybe baking a cake. according to gramma i am PRETTY GOOD at making cakes! i, at least, always like what i bake with gramma. baking and cooking are actually fun when you’re with a partner. when i’m doing it by myself i just kind of stand there and wait.

i did draw a picture today! i drew my character fern heckling asher’s character kai. it wasn’t anything complicated, really just head and shoulders, and i didn’t finish the line work or ink it, but asher liked it. and... it felt good. and i think i somehow got better without practicing.

like, this drawing wasn’t better than my previous art by a long shot, but something about it... if i draw more, i could refine it i think, in a way i couldn’t before. and i did hang on to one of the fan character “candidates.” and there was one other person i kinda looked at but wasn’t sure about because she already knows who i am haha.

god i’m so shy. it’s hard to, like, be friendly and supportive to random people when you see their profiles like “I HATE GROWNUPS” and like, i’m a grownup now??? when did that happen?

i’m also shy about people on tumblr. i haven’t followed anyone new in a long time because i’m afraid they’ll look at my posts... but i still check their pages. i am aware this would be a lot easier for me if i just followed them. i mean, i see most of their posts anyway. i feel more comfortable following other people who, like, write about their depression and stuff. even though my tumblr is about 70% not depression blogging and more “whatever i saw that i liked or thought was interesting and wanted my friends to see.”

am i the only one that finds it extremely difficult to interact with teenagers? even just to be friendly and supportive, because i know how difficult being a teenager was? i don’t even talk to my usual internet friend group any more because they brought in a new teenager and she shuts down the conversation when it isn’t about video games because she doesn’t want “the discourse.” it took two bad experiences and i’m already avoiding interacting with her... i don’t even talk to my brother about anything and i see him every day.

today i had a veggie burger with a fruit cup. it made me extremely ill. it made driving home kind of hard and disorienting. then i had some pizza with sun dried tomatoes and spinach and pesto sauce. i almost actually threw up. i went in the bathroom and stared at the toilet and put my hand against the sink and sweated and tried to breathe for a few minutes. i only forgot my medication at lunch. of course... my parents didn’t end up getting dinner until two hours after i had taken my dinner dosage, so maybe i had waited too long between taking the meds and eating.

in the evening dad started taping down some paper to the tile in preparation for painting the walls. eve was terrified of the noise the tape made as dad unrolled it. wiley joined us and “helped” by putting the roll of floor paper in his mouth repeatedly and chewing on dad’s hands and feet and then licking the paint we dripped on the floor when we wrote some stuff next to my brother’s door. dad said it was non toxic so i’m not TOO worried, but the dog would eat rat poison if we didn’t stop him. we ended up putting him and eve in my room while dad taped down my side of the hallway, so i put on some dog music and wiley and eve were dozing within 15 minutes.

we wrote “goofy goober” next to my brother’s door with an arrow pointing into the room. i snap chatted a picture of it. then my brother came home and went in his room to look for the “prank.” i took a picture of him standing there with “goofy goober” pointing at him and sent that to asher.

so i did some of the things i wanted today, but not all of them. that’s ok. i find it hard to do TWO of the things i want to do in a day, let alone three or four or five. which is the number of things i need to do. and i did three! i picked up my meds and went to lunch and drew for a few minutes.

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gootjuuh · 5 years ago

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How to survive the boredom of corona

So, we’re young, most of us aren’t gonna die from corona, but we might die from the boredom of staying at home by ourselves or the stress of becoming your own teacher/ following up on online classes. These are the things I could come . up with to survive.

1. School and learning

So a lot of universities and schools are closed now and are implementing distant learning. For a lot of university students, online classes are a thing but for me, they just want me to do it myself (aka become my own professor somehow?)

It involves reading texts on my laptop which I find hard because I need to be able to add some kind of structure to my text. For that, I use the extension called Weava Highlighter for Chrome, which allows me to highlight in PDF-documents and on most websites

Another problem I often run into is being distracted by other websites or my phone while trying to focus. For my phone, I use an app called Forest, which I’m sure a lot of people already know, but you can also just use downtime on iPhone, which is already implemented. (I don’t have any knowledge on android devices, sadly). For my laptop, I use StayFocusd to block sites I usually go to to distract myself, which is tricky as I often Google random facts that don’t have anything to do with my classes.

For people who are now at home and don’t have any classes to keep up with, or have some extra time, this is also a great opportunity to learn new things.

You can learn to code with Codecademy

You can watch TedTalks

There are lots of sites that offer great courses, like Khan Academy, Udemy, Skillshare, etc.

Learn a new language using Duolingo

Disclaimer: I haven’t used any of these sites except for Codecademy so don’t come for me if they suck!

2. entertainment

Some of us aren’t allowed to leave the house anymore, but some still are. I’ll divide these things into two categories: first I’ll talk about the ones you do have to leave the house for, next I’ll talk about the ones you can do inside (using materials most people have lying around in their house). To finish off I’ll also do suggestions on things you can watch.

outside

Go for a run. Extra challenge: you’ll have to maintain a distance from everyone on your path.

Buy some hair dye and dye your hair. Who cares if it sucks, you’re mostly stuck at home anyway!

Write your information on a piece of paper and offer your service to older people or people with children who need babysitters. Do it for free!

Go on a walk and take pictures

Disclaimer: When going outside, wash your hands before and after, and if you offer services to elderly people, try to do things you don’t need to be inside for as much as possible, only if they really need help inside the house you should go inside, but groceries, for example, can be dropped off at the door.

Inside

Paint with whatever you can find. If you don’t have paint at home, use that make-up that you never use, food coloring,... be creative and maybe you have a new painting by the end of this!

Try on all of your clothes and clean out your closet. Extra fun if you do this while on FaceTime with your friends.

Open that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for that special occasion and FaceTime with friends or watch a movie (considering you are of legal drinking age!)

Try learning TikTok-dances. Again, fun guaranteed if you do this on FaceTime with friends

Write a story, might I suggest a lockdown situation because of a virus called Covid-19 as the plot.

Read a book

Movies and other recommendations

Completely free:

Starkid musicals: there are 12 in total and they are all uploaded on YouTube. You might know them from the Very Potter Musicals or the ‘I don’t really wanna do the work today’-vine. Darren Criss (Glee and American Crime Story), Devin Lytle (Former Buzzfeed employee) (both were mainly in the older musicals) and Joey Richter (Petey in Jessie, is in almost every Starkid Musical) are also Starkid members. Their musicals are funny and silly but I love them a lot. Disclaimer: their first musical (A Very Potter Musical) was recorded over 10 years ago, so the quality isn’t the best. Also they use a lot of explicit language...

Brat TV is a YouTube channel that has shows with young actors (read Dance Moms kids, TikTokkers, etc.) which they upload on YouTube. Younger kids seem to enjoy it a lot, but when I watch it, I watch it to laugh at how bad it actually is.

Your local broadcasters might have free to watch shows that you maybe haven’t seen before. In my country, I was able to watch the first season of Killing Eve through the public broadcasting company.

Netflix:

Watching new things on Netflix can be kinda hard, so here are some suggestions of shows you might’ve missed

Crash landing on you: What can I say, it’s Korean, I wasn’t really sure at first but once I got into it I couldn’t stop. It has 16 episodes that usually last over an hour.

Inception: I thought everyone knew this movie but apparently lots of people don’t. It’s cool, watch it.

I actually don’t have more. There isn’t that much content on Netflix that is actually good and people haven’t already heard about.

Other platforms, I don’t even know where bc I watched these illegally:

Modern love: 6 episodes, each a different story about love.

Fleabag: Phoebe Waller-Bridge is really funny, and in this one, which she wrote herself, she plays an unnamed character who goes through some shit. Especially season 2 is wild.

Into the wild: emotional story based on the experiences of Chris McCandless. Yes, this story really happened... You’re gonna cry.

Radius: I can’t explain this one without revealing the plot. Just watch it.

What Happened to Monday: 7 kids are born in a world with a 1 kid-policy so naturally they are all named after one day and take the identity of one person

And if you’re really, really bored, might I suggest watching movies that just look like they’re gonna be bad, and they are bad and you just have a fun time laughing at how bad they are lol.

Good luck! Stay safe! Wash your hands!

#coronavirus #corona #covid19 #quarantine #lockdown

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ascbh13 · 7 years ago

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The Fall Mark: Genesis 3:1-24 Carolyn Couzens: 25th February 2018

A number of years ago on the first Sunday of Lent, the vicar in the church we went to at the time, invited people to write down things they were doing for lent – to take what they had written up to the altar at communion and to lay it there as an act of worship to signify whatever they were giving up or doing in lent - was for God.

My daughter was about 7 years old at the time and she picked up a piece of paper and pen that had been left on the pews for people who wanted to do it and without showing me she wrote on it.

I was delighted that she was obviously listening and participating in what we were doing in church. Pleased that was - until we got up to the communion rail and she put her paper down and I saw that she had written. she had written that was giving up eating vegetables for Lent …. the next 5 weeks no vegetables.

Suffice to say – I wasn’t best pleased and I intervened. Because despite the dislike of my 7 year old eating vegetables - I knew they are essential to her and nourishing and part of a balanced diet.

Our Bible reading today – I know could, for some, feel like eating your greens when you are 7. Thinking about the Fall - and sin evil death and suffering coming into the world - might perhaps feel not very palatable, especially on a Sunday morning - so I have wrestled a bit with this reading this week – but I actually think it is important and very relevant - because without an understanding of its significance and what is going on it will mean you never really have an answer from a Christian faith point of view, to some of the biggest questions people ask.

One of the most common questions I’ve been asked since being ordained is - why if there is a God of love is there so much suffering?

Other Questions are like: Why was there the shooting in Florida last week which took so many young lives with so much potential and has caused pain, heartache and brokenness to those who loved them?

Why are there earthquakes which when they strike take the lives of so many or cause so much destruction?

Why this diagnosis? Why now? Why them? why me? These are such important questions.

As Christians we are not immune from asking why.

Understanding todays reading from Genesis starts to give something of an answer from the Christian faith perspective….

At times this sermon might feel a bit like eating your vedg when you are a child – you know, not so nice but worth it – -- but I do hope and pray too that through it we can also catch a greater glimpse of God and his grace, his love, his forgiveness and compassion for each one of us.

We are continuing with the lent sermon series which is based on the book speaking of sin by Barbara Brown Taylor…. I know it can seem unacceptably judgemental in society today to think of things as sin.

Yet as I said, restoring our awareness of it is helpful as it enables us to formulate a Christian explanation for suffering in the world and it gives us a fuller awareness of God’s grace and salvation and the hope we have as Christians.

The Bible tells is that In the beginning God created everything and declared it all as good / then God added humanity to creation / and now saw everything as very good. Genesis tells us people are made in the image of God – to be like him, to rule over creation and enjoy him. It’s a wonderful picture

But then in Genesis 3 in the reading which was chosen for us today there is the Entrance of sin and death and suffering into this perfect world, corrupting and damaging all that was good. Adam and Eve rejected God's rule over them. They rebelled and their rebellious choice is known in Christian faith terms as "the fall," because the world and humanity is no longer perfect – it has ‘fallen’ from all that God had intended when he created it.

And Paul in the NT tells us that Adam represented all of humanity, so their action affects us too –.

I remember once making a birthday cake for a family member – it was looking as beautiful as I can make it –I’m no pro - but it looked good and then as I was picking it up it slid off the plate and started to fall apart. We still ate the birthday cake and sang happy birthday – but my creation wasn’t as I had intended and wasn’t as I had made it. It no longer looked good – it actually looked quite sad …. But it was still the cake I made.

Remember the world we live in now is bit like that - not how God created the world to be – he allows things to go on -because he has given us free will – but these things are not from him.

I have a friend who has said that to me on many occasions – when bad things happen to her – ‘what have I don’t wrong that God would want to punish me ‘ but that isn’t the case. That isn’t what the bible is teaching. God is good and perfect and loving. Thinking God is punishing you for something you have done is not a Christian Biblical view.

Sometimes we might suffer because of bad choices we make – and it’s a consequence of those –

But The Bible doesn’t teach karma – in other words what you put in is what you get out … ie its doesn’t teach you suffer because of your own sin. That is not a Christian viewpoint – but much of the wrong and suffering that happens is not because of your personal sin but because all of humanity has fallen.

For Adam and Eve the results of disobeying God – do look at genesis 3? v7 they experienced a loss of innocence v10 = they were afraid, v12 = adam blames eve – and they become guilty and dishonest v16 = child bearing is now painful v17 = the earth itself is cursed with thorns and thistles, it too has fallen – and going to be hard work v19 = and death has entered the world. Adam was made to live forever. His life is going to come to an end.

Isn’t this the world we live in . a good world with beauty, with love and things to celebrate - but also marred, - there’s guilt, fear, shame, the evading of responsibility, pain and a loss of an open relationshjp with God?

It is hard to imagine life before the fall Genesis 3 – it so defines all of us – but stop and ask yourself how your life would be different? If you lived in a perfect world and were perfect?

I found it quite a challenging question. I’m sure if we are honest with ourselves all of us can each think of ways in which our own personal lives have been affected by these things and the fall. Habits, choices, things we do we would rather we didn’t – which if we were perfect and lived before the fall we wouldn’t have and wouldn’t be part of us. So what do we do about these things? We cant make ourselves perfect even if we try.. .. what I love in this story is how God reacted to Adam and Eve… look at how God reacted in Genesis 3

most beautiful picture and verse 8 9… It says

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

After Adam and Eve disobeyed God it says that God came walking in the garden looking for them and calling for them. God came looking for them …..he asks ‘where are you to adam and eve?’ He then covered the shame that they were now experiencing –and made clothes out of animal skins for them…. Verse 21 The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. They disobeyed God and rebelled against him and he came looking for them and covered their shame.

And God still comes looking for us. He is involved in our world and our lives. He isn’t some distant God who created the world like a clockwork toy and then left it to its own devises to unwind.

God came looking for Adam and Eve …

God came looking for each of us in Jesus.

But Jesus took on himself all the sin and suffering and pain to redeem us and the world from the effects of the fall. Including those things that if we are honest are part of us…

And one day the Bible says there will be a new heaven and a new earth and all things will be restored to being perfect again, and whole again.

So evil and sin isn’t around forever. . – they weren’t at the start and won’t be at the end of all things….

But in the meantime – God comes looking for us – calling us back to him .

If you only take away one thing from today its that picture of God looking for Adam and Eve and still looking for each of us He seeks us out,and calls our name to restore us. What a privilege to be restored by God and set free and forgiven by him Have you heard him call – not just once as you come to faith – but again and again -

As we grow in our relationship with God, he gradually makes us more like himself. We are all works in progress ….

No mess in our lives is too big for him, or distance from God too far for him -- he takes the initiative to seek us out. And when we respond to him , - he forgives and sets us free, he covers shame as he did with adam and eve in the garden when he clothed them…

Take time today or this week to be still in his presence and hear him calling you in the quietness of your heart. Do respond by opening your life to him. Laying before him those things you know wouldn’t be part of you if you lived in a perfect world. He can redeem, make good and make new – all things.

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