#which means they probably didnt either until it's too late

[lanavecorona]

squad goals

[kyunzin]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

✰ characters ✰ 𝐘. 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧

✰ summary ✰ don’t say things you don’t mean, unless you do mean them. in that case eren can fulfil all your requests (f!reader)

✰ tags/warnings ✰ nsfw, ex!eren, alcohol use, degradation, spanking, daddy kink, cum eating, squirting. praise kink, overstimulation, pussy licking

✰ kyun’s note ✰ it’s been long overdue, two long fics in a row is tough gang dont do this at home. also sorry for any spelling mistakes i am sleep derived

it was definitely a good idea to go out with the girls

it was probably a bad idea to not send eren home with all the drinks you had earlier clouding your judgment

it was absolutely going to hurt in the morning but that is the last thing that's on your mind right now it will be a problem for later

you and eren had gotten together in high school and stayed together for the duration of high school. the both of you being fairly well known though he was more popular than you were.

the both of you had different passions and wanted to peruse different careers. him wanting to play basketball professionally and you didn’t really want to have a boring 9-5 either so you chose to be an influencer.

you both supported each other and both of you became very successful in what you did. eren signing with a good team and you having nearly up to a million followers. you made sure to go to every one of his games and he would be sure to mention you on his socials and even point to you at games.

the two of you even had a child together who both of your fans adored. you had him early in both of your careers and had enough money to support him growing up, the two of you thought that you would be able to live the rest of your lives as a family.

that was until about 4 years later when eren’s schedule became to hectic and he spent more time practicing and being out of the country for games to even be home with you, there was a gradual build up to that which you thought you could get through but in the end you realised it was too much for you and he accepted that.

in the end the both of you decided to spilt apart as is was just too much on you. both of your fan bases were sad to see their favourite couple break apart but you assured them that it was mutual and the two of you ended on good terms, deep down you still loved him but you let him go knowing it was for the better.

eren always made sure to send money to support both him and you even though you told him that he didnt need to send you money as well. he also did regular calls to check in to see how the both of you were doing, and when he was back in the country he made sure to see you if he could spending time with his son and even you.

you know he loved his son from the way he would always get souvenirs from countries when he was out and even got some jerseys from his sons favourite players even if he did pout complaining because he wasn’t his favourite.

this went on for about a year and it worked really well for the three of you, your sons fifth birthday passed with eren doing his all to be there buying him an expensive gift that your son absolutely loved. eren had lately had been spending more time over due to the season, there not being a lot of games and you decided you wanted to go out since it had been a while.

eren has said he would take care of your son while you went out with your friends saying that you deserved the time to have fun. he took your son over to his house so that you could get ready in peace telling you he would keep him for the weekend so you could relax.

once the both of them had left the house you called both sasha and mikasa telling them the plans and they decided to come over to help you get ready. they arrived soon with their things and the three of you started to get ready.

you had your hair and make up done all that was left was your outfit. you had no idea what to wear as it had been a long time since you had gotten dressed up like this, the girls made their way to you closet and started picking through your stuff looking for something for you to wear.

being pregnant had made big changes to you body which left you feeling less than confident after your giving birth but as the years went by some changes left and some stayed. for one your tits and ass filled out as well as you hips getting wider giving you a near hourglass figure.

you were pretty self conscious about your body but everyone around you encouraged you to embrace your new body as they said it made you look sexy and you believed them, looking at yourself differently you loved your new self.

the girls had picked out a dress you don’t even remember buying. a long-sleeve red dress that stopped just under you ass with red cross slits trailing down the side exposing some skin. you paired it with a classic set of black heels and a red bag to match.

the other two were also ready when you had finished getting dressed so you made sure you had everything you needed and sasha drove you to the club blasting music all the way there.

you got into the flub with no problem all of you being over the required age and the three of you went to get drinks to start your night off, weaving your way through the bustling crowd and over to the bar where you all order your first round of drinks keeping you tab open just in case you want to get more.

you and mikasa take a few more shots sasha only having a few being your designated driver for the night not that she really needed any as she would be asked to have just as much fun either way. after you finished your drinks the three of you moved over into the dancing crowd losing yourselves to the music.

you swung your body to the beat of the music sasha in front and mikasa behind you, your as shaking with every sway of your hips. you could tell that many men wanted to join you but you could see both of the girls pushing the away as they know about your lingering feelings for eren.

the song changes and you recognise it as ‘mad at me by sexxy red’ realising that you know the lyrics and you start singing it along with the others in the room, knowing it lyric for lyric shaking your ass to the beat people around you dancing to the music.

when the next line come on you shout it out like there's no tomorrow “fuck me like you mad at me baby, I need a freak to drive me crazy!” and you sing the rest of the song with the same passion until it finishes and you’re out of breath.

the next song plays and you feel all the energy you had from before now depleted and decide to go pay for your last drink of the night leaving sasha and mikasa on the dance floor.

it didn’t take long for you to reach the bar and pay but on your way back to the girls some one stopped you trying to pull you for a dance. but you quickly pushed them away not in the mood walking to your friends even faster.

you get to the girls in record speed in no time though all the remaining energy you had no completed, the girls notice this and decide it’s time for you all to go home.

you drip mikasa home first knowing she has to go to bed for work in the morning. and then sahsa takes you back to your house with you dozing off on the way back. you didn’t even realise that you had faleen asleep until you felt sasha gently shake you awake.

thanking her for the ride home you wish her a safe journey back walking up to your front door, stumbling on the short walk due to the alcohol still flowing in your system. checking the time to see that it was almost past midnight and you know that your son should have gone to bed ages ago feeling bad that you couldn’t tell him goodnight.

when you walk in it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the light which you were sure you turned off when you left, squinting only to see a figure sitting on the couch. you take off your heels setting them to the side and look up to see the figure still there.

once your eyes get accustomed to the light you realise that’s it’s eren sitting there who has been sitting there staring up at you since you walked in, and you think maybe you’re just hallucinating from the alcohol in your system but upon further inspection you realise that he’s actually there.

“eren? what are you doing here? where’s my baby?”

for a second he doesn’t say anything and just eyes you up but then he speaks up.

“c’mere here baby”

the space between you brows crease at the pet name but you move towards him nonetheless, coming to stand up in from of him looking down at him.

“I dropped him off at my mums place, don’t worry about him for now”

he gently pulls you down to straddle you making your dress ride up a little bit, leaving the two of you face to face. you don’t instantly question his actions but your face conveys your confusion, but instead of saying anything he just sits there rubbing slowly up and down your thighs spread over him.

“what’s going on, is something wrong?”

but instead of answering your question he laughs and pulls out his phone swiping though as if looking for something.

“how about you tell me what this is about first”

you’re confused at first but then once the video starts playing your eyes widen in shock. it’s a video of you in the club singing to “mad at me” shouting the lyrics to the song.

“wanna explain this to me”

he’s still smiling as he says it and you know there's no way to get out of this. there's no possible excuse he would believe after seeing that, which brings up the question of where he got it from.

“who took this video and how do you have it”

he turns off his phone slipping it back into his joggers the action causing you to shift in too of him, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as to not fall off him.

“it was posted online and someone sent it to me, and don't try change the subject. what’s this about you wanting to fuck. if you wanted some dick all you had to do was say so princess. you know i never say no to you baby”

in truth it had been a while since you were active, though it was mainly because of your lack of time due to taking care of you son as well as working.

part of it had to do with the fact that no dock would be able to compare to eren's. the way he would fuck you was to good for you to ever try it with anyone else.

you had kind of missed this intimate part of your relationship, you knew eren wasn’t the type of guy to sleep around and you are sure if he did you would have found out by now and you didn’t want to seem to desperate by asking him about his life without you as you respected his privacy as he did yours.

“why you silent for pretty, aint got nothing to say or did you really mean what you said. what was it again, you wanted me to fuck you like I was mad at you cause I can do that baby if it’s what you want, do you want that?”

as you contemplate your answer you notice his hands don’t stop but smile drops a serious look falls over his face. he probably knows that your drunk and no os giving you a way out of this.

knowing him if you said no he would step back and act as if it didn’t happen. the thing is that you do want this to happen, maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact that you’re just really pent up and horny but you don’t see a reason to decline his offer.

you nod your head to agree but he doesn’t seem satisfied with that hands stopping to grip at your thighs squeezing them lightly.

“no princess, I need words. you say yes we continue. say no and I’ll take you to bed and go back home, answer me properly”

knowing this is your last chance to back out you appreciate his efforts in order to confirm your consent and it just gives you even more reason to say yes, knowing that he’s being respectful even though he couldn’t have done what he wanted knowing you have no way of defending yourself in this state.

“yes eren, I want this. I want you. fuck me please, i need you“

you hardly have time to register what’s happening before he’s lifting you up and making his way to your old shared bedroom. you wrap you legs around his firm torso and cling onto him tighter, even though you know that there no way he will drop you.

“only since you asked me so nicely, I’ll give you what you need don’t worry baby”

the two of you reach the bed room in record speed and eren gently sets you down on the edge of the bed kneeling down in front of you both of his hands still on the side of your thighs looking up at you with a mischievous grin.

his mouth latches onto you barely clothed sex sucking on your clit in a way that has you gasping out in ecstasy. it’s no lie to say that eren knows every inch of your body inside and out. he knows all the things that make you squirm and scream. where to touch and lick as well as h to e spots indie you that make your arch into his touch.

he moves on from sucking on your clit like a mad man thirsting for water and moves down to you dripping whole, sinking his tongue into your tight heat that hadn’t had any attention for a while. not that there weren’t a few visits from your bullet vibrator it just couldn’t make you cum the way you did when eren would fuck you.

“fuck, she really missed me didn’t she ma?”

the way he’s talking to your pussy has you rolling your eyes, but they then roll for a different reason as he adds one finger teasing his way inside of you alongside his hot tongue. “oh fuck, ‘ren don’t stop please” your hand reaches for his head gripping his hair causing it to fall loose as you pull his face further into your cunt.

both his tongue and fingers pistoling into you at a harsh pace so he not surprised when you end up cumming into his mouth as he starts to suck on your clit. he doesn’t stop scissoring his fingers inside you until you stop cumming and your moans die out, though your legs still tremble slightly due to the force of your orgasm.

“we aint done yet princess, you said you wanted to be fucked right and that’s what you’ll get. flip over”

you may be a bit drunk but that doesn’t stop you from turning over at the speed of light making you a bit lightheaded but you do regret it as you miss when eren pulls of his top and steps out his trousers and boxers, kneeling back behind you slapping his cock against your ass cheeks.

“you ready for me baby?”

he watches as you nod your head eagerly and lines his cock up with your pussy sliding in with predicted ease, filling out all the way to the hilt. both of you let out moans of pleasure “fuck- I missed you” you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or your pussy but you’re to full and stretched out to care. it would be an understatement to say that you also missed the fill of his cock. it was more like the longer you were apart the more you craved to feel him.

he was feeling sympathetic knowing that it had been a while since you had fuck him, or anyone for that matter, but when you start to rock back into him letting out small mewls of pleasure he decides not to hold back. “such a desperate whore, you cant wait to fuck yourself on my cock huh?” his words are accompanied by a hard slap to your ass causing your movements to stagger with a loud moan of “f-fuck, you’re taking too long”

he lets you move as you please for a few more moments before growing impatient and gripping your waist slamming his hips into yours. “d-daddy- fuckk!” you cant see it but you can hear the smirk as he says “you like it when daddy fucks you like this don’t you?” as he sends another harsh thrust you way, rocking the bed with the force of his thrust.

he continues with his timely thrust with the occasional slap to your ass, oscillating between that or squeezing it in both hands and playing with the fat. he can feel the way you clam down on him when he does that, knowing your body inside and out plays well in is favour, not so much in yours.

he spares no energy with is thrusts as he knows you like it when he's rough with you, fucking you into the soft sheets wit vigour, deep strokes hitting your cervix every time, the tip brushing against your sweet spot on every quick roll of his hips.

he's not surprised when he begins to hear your familiar slurred pleas of " daddy please. 's too much. slow down" to which he does the opposite and uses one and to steady your waist and the other one to hold your neck keeping your back arced "remember, you asked for this princess," your unable to move, sheets bunched up in your hands, hips held high by him, face pressed into the bed.

"made it loud and clear waat you wanted and now im giving it to you"

the slick sounds of sex circulate the room, your nonsensical moans bouncing off the walls in the room along with his skin slapping against yours as he hammers is cock into your dripping pussy. "since you asked for it m sure you can take it like a good girl cant you? noting you havent done before"

you can feel is cock start to pulse inside you and you know that he's close , and you're on the verge of release, with the way eren's pounding into you you doubt you'll be able to last much longer as well as the fact that its been ages since your last fuck, which was eren.

"next time you want something, just fucking ask"

the last three words of his sentence are each punctuated with a harsh trust, sending you over the edge as you begin to squirt all over is cock and onto the sheets below you. he can feel the way your pussy spasms around is cock as he fucks you through your orgasm, slowing down to ease you through it.

"that's it cum on daddy's cock, its all fucking yours baby, nobody can have me but you"

its only a couple more languid trusts until he's spilling is hot seed inside you with a groan of your name on his lips, hips stuttering as his grip tightens enough in a way you're sure will leave marks in the morning, body doubling over your trembling frame while he locks his hips with yours, emptying is tick load deep into your pussy.

only wen he's sure that there's no more does e finally pull out of your near limp body and gently rolls you over onto your back. peppering kisses down your torso till he settles between your legs were he begins to suck the cum out of you, causing your legs to clam around is head.

"nononono- fuck. i cant, s too much no more."

he's relentless not stopping even as your and tug at his air, pushing is tongue deep into your pussy and licking your mixed juices out of you. "just one more baby, i know you can give it to me" he's not wrong as only a second after he presses his thumb to your clit, you're cumming for the third time that evening shaking in is hold.

after tat e makes sure to clean you out as best as he can, dressing you into comfortable clothes. after cleaning himself he carries you to the guest bedroom and tucks you in deciding to leave until you reach out to him pulling him back.

he ends up wit is arms wrapped around you and your head tucked underneath is, drifting into a deep sleep. you're sure that in the morning the two of you will have a lot of things to talk about.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i keep having sex with my friends dad? nsfw warning

i (20s cismale) got invited by my friend (20s nonbinary) to try out some new edibles they made last thursday. this isnt too weird because both of us are unemployed (they get disability, i get money from unemployment, and we both live with our parents) and usually during the day their dad (50s cismale) is at work so we get the house to ourselves. well last thursday was different because i came over late in the night when their dad was home, and he offered to make me some dinner too. i get the munchies really bad so i was immediately like yes please and thank you while i fucked off to my friends room. we played some smash bros while we waited for the cookies to kick in, and when it started to hit his dad called us both out for dinner. dinner was great, and his dad is super chill — so he let us raid his alcohol cabinet. i dont think he knew either of us were stoned for the record (im naturally really quiet/dont make eye contact, my friend sounds high 24/7 naturally) so i dont think he was like trying to get anyone drunk or anything. my tolerance is pretty good but my friends is shit so it didnt take long until they were like blackout drunk and passing out on the couch, while their dad and i were both drunk too (not blackout but pretty drunk, and i was still high) and sitting on the opposite side of the couch next to eachother

important fact about me - i crossdress like femboys or whatever theyre called. i like looking really feminine and cute and confusing people. im not trans or anything like that gender is just a game and i am winning it. but i do tend to dress up in very egirl/goth gf clothes if you know what i mean, and i look pretty convincing ive been told (friend tells me i would pass for ciswoman with the makeup on). i think their dad maybe forgot that i was me (he usually sees me in boy clothes) and he started hitting on me? i didnt think i was gay or bi either until he started doing it and i got really flustered but i didnt stop him? again i was fucked up so the attention felt really nice despite it being my friends dad. but anyways he kept getting closer until he kissed me, and it felt nice so i let it keep going? which was probably super fucked up in retrospect. but anyways stuff gets hot and steamy, their dad doesnt bother lifting up my skirt, one thing leads to another and we have sex. he definitely noticed im not a girl during that (its pretty hard to miss lol) but he didnt stop so we kept going for a while

after we were done he and i passed out on the couch in a kind of awkward position, we both woke up in the morning and i think thats when he realized im me, but he didnt seem to freak out even though hes straight?? or at least i thought he was straight. but we had sex again in the morning and then when my friend woke up we all had breakfast and i went back to my friends room and we hung out more and got high again. while we were though i accidentally spilled the beans to my friend, and they FREAKED out on me and said that i was so gross for doing that, and they cant believe that it happened, stuff like that. they kicked me out of their room and their dad had to drive me home because i was shaking bad from it. but while their dad drove me home i was super pissed and mad and not thinking straight (haha) and so i tried to convince their dad to take a detour so we could fuck again. and he was like, okay sure, so we did?? but now i feel horrible for doing it knowing that it grossed my friend out so much, but i really like their dad and he seems to like me too, and i want to keep banging him :(

What are these acronyms?

[jjmaybankssurfergf]

It wasn’t Rudy or Madison. It was his gf that had a problem and has apparently caused scenes on set and made people uncomfortable because SHE is uncomfortable. To be fair it would probably suck having your bf being shopped with another girl constantly but to cause problems in his acting career is the bigger problem because this will follow him to every job he where he has a love interest. Rudy and Madison follow each other on socials. Elaine and Madison don’t but Elaine follows all the other cast members.

Look anon we can talk but if your gonna start stuff take off anon, first off madison bailey is a bully. She really is and when jj died she showed her true colors. Her acting sucks, her attitude sucks, her movie sucks, and her whole personality sucks. Sorry but its true, the reason why i didnt throw in elaine is because thats a whole other story, if want clarification on that just ask and i will gladly give it to you or anyone. Mariah is a jerk too sorry but thats true she was the one who started the unfollowing social media bullshit. Yes his gf played a part in the drama but you cant also say madison and mariah are innocent, because there not. Madison bullied rudy behind set, and he was super uncomfortable and upset. He was being hurt to the point where hes like "Ok this is going way to far". Madison bailey is what you would call a mean highschool girl bully, because thats the person she is. The reason why no one noticed it is because of her body and looks, which is soooo true. Just because rudy follows her on social media does not mean anything, he just doing it so he doesnt get hate and constant dms of fans giving him shit about it. Im not saying Elaine is innocent but shes not the only drama queen, there are two others who like to start shit too. And how are you going to tell me it will follow him in every job when he literally had a play call Romeo and Juliet where he had to kiss and hug another women for a month straight every night? See how that doesnt make sense which now it concludes to bailey being unprofessional and a major bitch. You can believe its all elaine fault, but its not just her its madison bailey and mariah no one ever caught onto it until now, when rudy is officially done with outer banks and jj is dead. The reason why people caught onto it so late is because they were just focused on rudy and jj in the show and now because hes gone theyre focusing on madison and putting the puzzle pieces together and what really happened. Like i always say karmas a bitch it was coming for her either way and it bit her in the ass. Im not afan of what she did and rudy didnt deserve the hate and the constant pettiness from her, or her girlfriend but what can i say that just another self centered bitch for you 🤷🏼‍♀️

[fictionfixations]

masquerade malleus vignette

(spoilers for glorious masquerade)

aww

i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking

..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..

..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???

...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????

i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??

and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.

silver...

is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)

anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay

ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was

actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO

they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)

i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)

first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.

lmfao

oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)

ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)

damn

my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)

I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)

ooh

i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then

ooh some malleus riddle bonding

AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE

that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS

ayooo malleus and yuu dancing

(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)

WOOO

okay. now.

i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)

and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Saw your previous ask and I just wanna add, I also notice Taika gets hate for 'being with someone like Rita', like, there is a lot of 'Madonna-whore' dichotomy stuff pitting Rita against Taika's ex wife who his haters view as some sort of poor wronged martyr, and the assistant thing might not even be true, he was seen with this woman who was his assistant for like a year a few times and everyone decided they were an item, even making up a narrative they had this huge affair which probably isn't true (I don't wanna go into that too much lol). People see Taika's ex wife as a classy 'lady' who is 'deep' and intelligent and respectable and he went downhill after 'he left her' (people act like he abandoned her and his kids for either Rita or the former assistant), and Rita is this evil vapid stupid 'slut' who shows her no longer has morals, and his ex wife and sister are doing 'awesome stuff' (which he HAS promoted!) But he's just promoting Rita's music cos 'men think withthrir penises', implying he can't actually love Rita (even referring to her as his 'girlfriemd' not his wife which us textbook madonna-whore dichotomy, only his ex is 'wife material').

Furthermore, with people not liking Rhys's wife it was often 'he deserves better' but with Taika it's 'he's got bad taste', that seems like a weird racist bias, Rhys is seem as more innocent.

OMG I'm so sorry Anon! I Just found this!?!? How is it 12 days old! I dont know what happened! I'm so sorry I'm hellishly distracted lately, I did not mean to leave you in the lurch that long! I feel like a lot of people really just want to dislike x person's partner for any situation. If Taika hadn't left his wife, and stayed in a miserable marriage someone would be upset about it too. I get the whole people worrying about Taika's kids being left with a single mother, but Taika is absolutely taking care of them and as you said, boosts his ex-wifes work. He's not leaving anyone behind, he's just not married to that woman anymore. Rita and Taika seem legitimately happy, and that's hard for a lot of people let alone celebrities to have. Add to that, Rhys and Rosie have the best kind of relationship, they have been together for years and years have children, they love each other deeply, they laugh, they have fun, they boost each other up. If we could all find that kind of relationship the world would be a much happier place <3 Thanks for writing in anon, I'm so sorry it's taking so long for me to respond, I honestly dont know how I didnt see this until now. Take care!

[biquinntile]

TLDR: My biggest frustration being a late-diagnosed autistic is getting my brain to re-frame any of my behaviors. I’m having trouble figuring out how to help myself.

I was abused growing up, including some medical abuse, but my mom knew I had ADHD and lied to me and convinced me I didn’t. She never got a diagnosis but would ask me questions like “What are you, autistic?” I didn’t really understand what either of these terms meant back in 2012 when I was 13/14. So of course I said no, not even realizing until later that this was a rhetorical question (I am sighing so hard rn).

Fast forward to now, me age 26, being recently diagnosed as a person with ADHD and Autism. I spent my entire life up until now masking but even that feels like a weird word to use because it was never intentional. If I had needs not being met, I would find a way to get them met without talking to anyone or I would ignore them/push them away so that I “didnt have” that need anymore. In social situations, I made a lot of mistakes and found myself being very confused…so I would avoid being social altogether, or I would drill myself relentlessly before and after any social situation…and I mean any social situation. I remember people always criticizing me for “taking the long way” or not taking the most efficient route, but for me the “most efficient” route has never given me the results I wanted. It felt like I was a robot who had to constantly tinker with my own parts, with the goal being that one day I would be able to exist with other people naturally the way they do with each other. Not a robot, a person.

It’s very difficult to wrap my head around this not being a plausible goal anymore. I spent so long doing what was more difficult to mask symptoms I didn’t know I was masking. I spent my entire life operating under the belief that everybody was trying as hard as me to deal with sensory and socialization and all that jazz, it’s just that I was too weak to do it as well as they did. And it didn’t matter because I was doomed to fail.

I’m really working hard to not have such negative beliefs about being neurodivergent but it’s difficult bc in my brain I always hoped that one day I would just suddenly flip a switch and things would be easier. I would understand people and they would understand me. I wouldn’t spend weeks (if not months) obsessing over one singular topic. When I look back on moments where the autism was probably showing, I have all these memories of my parents calling me aggressive/angsty/spoiled/stupid/lazy/sensitive/etc. My stepdad would always say “You can’t be that stupid” and in my head, I would say “Well I guess I fucking am.”

All this to say, I have a lot of trouble now even recognizing when I’m doing a form of “masking” because it is so ingrained in me, and had I not done it, I would have faced worse abuse than I already had been facing. It took me until I was 24 to realize I was wearing a size too small in shoes because I believed a level of discomfort was just always a part of life, for EVERYONE not just me. I recently realized that I am not capable of crying in front of other people, even people I care about and trust, because when I used to cry people would find my reasoning trivial or tell me that I was too sensitive and they would (and I wish I was kidding) laugh or make fun of me. That is a silly thing to make fun of someone for, I know now, but I’m not sure how to change the behavior. I find day after day that there are a million things I’ve been overcompensating for or putting up with that I thought was normal or I thought I needed to do to keep up with everyone else (no wonder I feel so tired all the fucking time damn).

All this to say, I’m not even exactly sure what autistic symptoms I have or how to tackle them or even really how masking works entirely. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. I don’t know how to help myself. Where do I even start? People keep throwing this “high-functioning” term at me, which I guess is fair, but I also feel like my bones ache at all times and I have constant rapid-fire anxious thoughts filling up my brain and I constantly feel like everyone on the earth is touching me and crowding me, even when I’m alone in my room. So I guess if I can keep pushing myself through those feelings, I’ll be fine and functioning fine but I don’t really think I can do that anymore.

Any advice or reading material would be greatly appreciated. Sorry if I didn’t explain things well. I’m trying my best out here

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

the "han ying shows up and kills himself out of love" storyline has started and i have thoughts

or: me ping-ponging the entire situation around in my head and examining it from every angle

(putting it under the cut, its gotten long!!! i have Feelings about this aa!!)

everytime han ying and zhou zishu chat i wonder if things could be easier if zhou zishu were a bit more candid about what he means. i mean he very clearly and undeniably tells han ying oftentimes that his life is precious and he should not waste it on zhou zishu. so clearly han ying underestimating what he means to zhou zishu, what value he has at all as a person, is not because zhou zishu didnt do his utmost to communicate it to him.

but im pretty certain that f.e. if zhou zishu would explain why han ying's hunt for the glazed armour specifically is such a stupid thing to do, han ying would probably understand him better and maybe do something else, something that doesnt cost his own life. then again, zhou zishu rejecting the glazed armour is a big part of him not wanting to live, as he doesnt actually know yet, at the time they last see each other, why betting on the mysterious ying-yang book is a bad idea; he only learns that later from long que and doesnt see han ying anymore until he shows up covered in blood. there is simply no way to tell han ying about what a bad idea it is until its too late.

but there is another reason why zhou zishu is rejecting the armoury's mysterious treasures, and that has to do with his worldliness and his experience with such things. nothing is ever as good as it sounds. in word of honor, such magical artifacts and secret techniques won''t solve the true problem, and zhou zishu knows that. he is (understandably) wary, which is later then confirmed to be a good idea. he could have told han ying that a bit more clearly, and as han ying's former superior and the one who taught him everything, han ying might have taken him seriously.

i do wonder if han ying is already aware of what a bad idea it actually is. han ying has served powerful man all his life and was carefully groomed to die in their service, so his worldliness and experience is a bit hazy. its difficult to say what his own thoughts are regarding the matter, we dont see enough of him to know that. its hard to say whether he would have betted everything he has on the glazed armour just to save zhou zishu, if the person in question were anyone else. he seems to lose his brains whenever zhou zishu is involved lmao. in his scenes we see han ying always in a role of service, never his own person, so its hard to say. judging by his attitude, he is either fully convinced the glazed armour truly is the key of all keys (heh!) or he is truly that desperate.

whatever it is, han ying can tell that zhou zishu doesnt want to live. between all the uncertainties, that is the single sure thing. he can tell that zhou zishu would have said no, no matter what. zhou zishu's relationship with wanting to live and choosing to die is very complicated, he hasn't truly figured out himself yet what he wants for most of the show. han ying meets him only in these uneasy moments, so he naturally only knows zhou zishu in a perpetuate state of depression and uncertainty. a zhou zishu who denies his own worth and value to other people, people like han ying.

maybe han ying wanting to save zhou zishu has a big part to do with han ying trying to prove to zhou zishu how important zhou zishu is to him. he's saying, "look! i would do everything for you not to die, can't you see how much i treasure you? can't you tell how worthy and loved you are?" this is especially impactful because han ying only knows zhou zishu in his worst moments. he has never seen zhou zishu the sect leader or zhou zishu the filial eldest disciple. he only knows zhou zishu from tian chuang, leader of assassins and spymaster. and he still loves and adores him.

and yes, a big part of that is likely filial piety. but it is also zhou zishu himself. and maybe zhou only sees the former, and has a difficult time acknowledging and believing the latter. and maybe thats why han ying is so desperate and would do anything to show him.

so maybe it wouldnt have changed anything after all, if zhou zishu had been a bit more candid, considering that zhou zishu's desire to die is so big it would have blotted out everything else, be it pragmatism or reason. and han ying seems to desperately want to save zhou zishu at all costs, even from himself. han ying still might have chosen the path he walks and that leads him to his death, and zhou zishu might have still ended up with one wen kexing intending to save han ying at the expense of himself, and one dead han ying.

but what always sticks out to me is that zhou zishu can not fully open himself to han ying; he is still entangled in that role of being han ying's superior whom han ying is very filial to, whom he adores. he is trying to lead his own life, but han ying (and the way zhou zishu has left tian chuang behind) make it very hard for him.

im pretty sure this could be solved if zhou zishu were more candid and would treat han ying like just any other person, someone he can meet on eye level. but that might be hard for him, because han ying's adoration is so heavy, zhou zishu, who always believes he is not worthy of such faith anymore, is so uncomfortable with it he would rather han ying fucks off. he also wants han ying to lead his own life, and he views han ying adoring zhou zishu still as han ying binding his own fate to a sinking ship. to zhou zishu, han ying's continued loyalty must be like another sign of zhou zishu's faliure; he cant even save han ying from this.

this is especially notable when you contrast zhou zishu's relationship with han ying with how zhou zishu is with wen kexing. these two are equals, and for better or worse, wen kexing has been witness to zhou zishu's journey. he knows everything there is. zhou zishu doesnt have to be candid, wen kexing understands and sees him. but they still talk openly, they show each other their worst, and then they make up about it. they go through it.

zhou zishu doesnt allow han ying to go through it with him, he mistakenly believes he is holding han ying back. he thinks, the more he sends him away, and the less he allows this loyalty and connection to grow, the better it is for han ying. so han ying runs after him, and zhou zishu keeps all the important words hidden. and maybe those important words wouldnt have changed things at all, or might have made it even worse. its truly hard to say.

honestly, han ying dying feels a lot like it couldnt have been avoided no matter what. i like to imagine that things get easier when you communicate better and allow others to through it with you, but in this case, han ying's and zhou zishu's roles seem to make it impossible for them to ever reach the kind of honesty zhou zishu cultivates with wen kexing. there is just too much zhou zishu hasnt fully confronted yet, too much pain and too much guilt. and han ying is never truly arround, for them to really see each other where they are.

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[creacherkeeper]

luka! it’s sleepover saturday and also storytelling saturday! i have a fun question for you. what was your most recent aha! moment?

hello skye!!! this is a very fun question :D most of the storytelling i've been doing lately has been for my d&d game lost township, so my aha! moment has to do with some upcoming plans

SPOILERS FOR THE NEXT SESSION LOST TOWNSHIP PLAYERS DO NOT LOOK I WILL BITE YOU FOR REAL

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so the party is currently on their way to a shady business called the blasting company, where they've been summoned by the ceo candy blasting and her executive assistant annalise ...

they've Supposedly been summoned to negotiate a business contract between the company and our pc cass, who owns the saloon in town that the company is threatening to take away

what they Dont know is that this company is actually summoning them to hold them as hostages for an Evil Plot, and that they aren't really a company at all, they're a monster hunter organization bent on wiping "unclean" magic out of the country

there is no such person as candy blasting. annalise reports to someone but frankly she isn't even sure who they actually are. so annalise is. kind of running the company and she's been with them for 20+ years. she is also!! a changeling!! one of the types of "monsters" the company is trying to do away with. she works for them because she got promised a loooong time ago they would turn her human and simply she's in way too deep now to leave

so my Aha! moment was trying to figure out the other workers at this organization and what motivated them to be there. and i realized that actually, a lot of them are in the same boat as annalise. either "monsters" who don't want to be anymore or people who got trapped by the company and said you can either work with us, or you'll be imprisoned and studied until we're done with you (which is something annalise did to our pc onion, a fey, who is now leading the company to her to try and finish that deal) and the current workers are the ones who said. you know what. i'd rather keep my autonomy and choose to work with you than be a prisoner until you kill me, thanks

it also. helped a lot because i didnt have to make a bunch of npc statblocks that'll probably be in two sessions tops and instead i got to just use monster statblocks and they all just have people glamours on lol

it was also really fun figuring out like. why those npcs chose to join the company vs be a prisoner, which was just like. an element of their psychology that i hadnt expected to be examining originally but made them way more people-y in my head instead of like. nameless monster hunter #4

unfortunately that does mean i am attached now!!! they will probably all die when the combat happens but that is d&d for you godbless

[quirkybisworld]

Men

I love men, sometimes. I have such a complicated realtionship with them though. Ive never dated one ever. I used to get huge crushes just by looking at one, but now i dont. Then they never like me back. If they do like me back its either too late or i dont feel the same anymore. One time i was talking to this man. He was cute and very sweet, but it was to rushed for me. I did get a crush on him but it was too rushed for me. Everything was happening to fast for me. He would ask me out and really try to get with me, but i always declined. I was also going through a lot. I feel like im always going through a lot though, but i truly was at this moment whether i saw it or not. My friend approved of him which was good. No matter how hard i tried to get myself to date him, i just couldnt. This went on for about a month until my friend said i should jsut be honest with him and tell him that i am not going to date him anytime soon. So i did. He handled it very well, and said something sweet probably, but we would still talk as friends. Later on he tries to get with me again, im pretty sure, and again i declined. Even more time went by and i was manic. I felt like getting a boyfriend cause again manic, i get very spontaniase. So i asked him out. He said idk. Remind you lots of time went by and lots of things happened. So he wasnt sure. HE wanted time to think. So i gave him time to think. We talked and he thought. A couple weeks later he gave me an answer, and the answer was no. I felt bad. I was very depressed too at this moment too. I didnt talk to him after awhile, but i wasnt rtalking to most people. Then one day he unadded me. I have tried to reach out and everyting, but i cant get a response. My friend made me unadd him on Facebook recently. I noticed soemthing about me. I would only ever date if i truly have a huge crush on them. It also get sscary on how much i would do for them if that means i can get together with them. Other times liek this man for instance, in have a hard time dating. I dont talk about it much. I have to really resally liek them for me to date them. I get so scared. My dream is to be good friends with them before i date them, but thatll be hard to do. I dont quite know what it is, maybe it is commitment issues? I have no idea if i have that. I get scared to lose my independence too. I have gone so long without a relationship that i am so independent now. This isnt a cry out for soemone to date me cause that is NOT what i am doing at all lol. Im jsut ranting for when i do get into a relationship, this stuff i just really wanted to vent was all, and share my weird thing on relationships and men. Thankssssssss i also wanted to rant about that man grrrrrrrr. Also this other man i really want to rant about too but im bored of this so byeeeeee

[navire190413]

i am exhausted. i really need to stop drinking so much. i almost didnt make it into work today just because i wanted to sleep more. probably since i've been going to bed around 2 every night. i really gotta adjust my life style soon or i feel like there will be serious consequences somehow.

ive been considering giving up on x-chan. its been 4 months since we broke up, and then 3 months as "friends", where we're just doing this stupid game of ohhh we like eachother so much one week then dont like each other the next week, repeat. we met up after work yesterday and went to 神田 to go to 神田屋. idk why we even went there, x-chan hates chain izakayas. we only had one drink then decided to walk to 秋葉原。we found another chain izakaya to go to since they allow smoking at your seat. usually when we're together he always holds my hand, but he didnt reach for it at all last night, so i didnt reach for his either. i felt like, oh maybe its actually over now and we're just actually going to act like friends and not be all ラブラブ like we are most of the time. 

we left pretty early after having 2 mega lemon sours and some food. he was exhausted from work and was basically falling asleep at the table. we said bye and didnt kiss or anything. i went to my usual bar for a drink or two before going home. most of the usual people were there but i mostly just drank by myself and played with my phone. i was too exhausted and over thinking everything to even try to communicate in japanese. 

i texted x-chan while i was there saying i wanted to hold his hand earlier but didnt know if it was okay or not so i refrained. he told me its always okay and he likes when i do it, so i guess i will from now on. i also told him i still like him and after i got drunk i asked him to please tell me if he ever starts talking to a girl romantically so i can stop pursuing him out of respect for the both of them. he agreed, so i guess i should stop worrying about if he's talking to anyone until he tells me he is. 

my old drinking buddy ended up coming to the bar while i was there and we drank until 11:30, which is why im so fucking exhausted today. he's american from texas and has been in japan for less than a year. he's kind of sort of studying japanese but he hasnt really made much progress lately haha. he teaches english and is stuck in that terrible cycle. i couldnt do it. all of the people i know who are english teachers are miserable and on the verge of offing themselves. the pay is too low and their hours too long and they have weird ass fucking contracts with barely any time off. i definitely got lucky when i decided to go to language school. but also extremely lucky i had the means to save up for it and afford it. i love japan but i dont love it enough to become an english teacher just for a visa. i would absolutely move back to the states before i even considered teaching english as a job. which is why i was so panicked the entire time i was job hunting. 

im sure if i didnt come to work today it would have been fine, but i had a cold two weeks ago and something about me missing 3 days of work in a month when i just got my work visa 2 months ago doesnt sit right with me. i got ready in 10 minutes today so i could sleep in the max amount of time possible and didnt even bother with makeup. i really gotta get my shit togetherrrrrrr. x-chan also doesnt want to drink as much anymore and wants to save money, so if i stop hanging out with him as much i wont be drinking as much or spending as much money either. but if i dont hang out with him as much, he'll start hanging out with other girls! i dont think he will but my ocd is killing me. i want to give up so bad. i tried my hardest to make things right between us, but they keep going from good to bad and then from bad to good and i am frankly emotionally exhausted. he texted ME good morning today, and that made me more happy than it should have. i need to stop wasting my emotional resources on this and focus on myself. its so hard. 

i think im gonna go pray at a temple this weekend. it usually helps me clear my head and i feel like my luck usually turns around when i do. fighting the urge to look up 縁結び祈願 temples because i should pray about getting my life together, not getting back with x-chan haha. i typed this then immediately invited him to go with me.

i do the money management and accounting at my job. im still being trained on how they like their stuff organized and how to do everything the right way in japan. japan's tax system is so complicated compared to how "streamlined" it is in the states. also having to add up big amounts of money here is kind of comical. so many 0's. so. many. 0's. also dont ask me to say any number larger than 999万円 outloud because it takes me like 10 seconds to count from the end of the number and backwards to understand if its 万 or 億.

i need to go shooting soon. i have a photo series in mind, but it requires me being out all night long until like 6am, and i dont feel comfortable doing it alone since random men always approach me when im by myself so im kind of relying on my friends to go with me. i also keep blowing off my friends to hangout and try to woo x-chan. my life is a mess. i also need to study instead of drinking every night. and i need to not go to the bar as much so i can save up to move. and and and and. and i need to buy more film for my camera. and i want to play pokemon in my free time. and i need to study more japanese grammar for my job because im forgetting a lot of it now that im not going to school everyday. and and and and. i need to go to the grocery store after work today.

yesterday on my way to the station after work, there was a guy puking on the sidewalk. first thought was, okay gross? and at 5:30? kind of fucking early to be hammered… then i looked at his vomit and it was a giant amount of unchewed ramen noodles. like. so so so much. we made eye contact and that man was in PAIN. i wonder if he just overate or something instead of being drunk 😂 that image of those fucking noodles will stay with me forever.

i need to do laundry and clean my room when i get home tonight.

[juni-ravenhall]

yesterday on sso ig post i saw some number of ppl commenting that the final 50sc wasnt enough for the disco reward, that we shouldve gotten 200sc since it was 200k people, stuff like that

this is one of the few times that ive felt some (mostly kids/teens..) criticism of a sse choice was kinda silly, since we have been getting a lot of free sc in the past half year, and at the current rate id assume we will get more small free sc codes again in the next months. if youve been using every free code since xmas til yesterday, you prob got more than 200sc for free in the past half year. which is nice and very welcomed from sse, who had otherwise gotten very dismissive and disinterested in rewarding players' loyalty and patience with them (which they should be grateful for due to all sso's years of problems!) with rewards that the players feel actually matter.

but, i dont have anything rude or disrespectful or mean to say about those people (mostly kids/teens...) for saying it was cheap of sse to not give out more sc yesterday. i dont think theyre greedy and i certainly dont think it would be okay to publically (including in gc/servers/communities) call them greedy or whiny or entitled or stupid, if you did think that about them. (i say that bc ive seen those kind of words used over and over. do *you* want to be called those things, especially in public, or in someone's gc? is that really how you want ppl to treat each other? instead of having respectful convos about things you disagree on, or just take a deep breath and move on [when the thing isnt really a real problem hurting real ppl]?)

even if i disagree with their opinion, the fact is that

1) most of those players are frustrated with sse for a lot of valid reasons. even tho sse is trying to give out more rewards, it feels like too little too late for them. which is okay. they dont have to be loyal or patient with a game they paid like $€100 for that was a hot mess and often failed to deliver things or didnt uphold a standard quality (or even child safety, like human moderation, player reporting, manipulative marketing tactics to children who dont understand theyre being exploited...). they might not know how to convey their frustration in other ways than asking for more loyalty rewards bc they are regular young ppl who dont deeply analyse things before they talk. its not hurting anyone in this case and therefore isnt really an issue (sse is a company and can not be hurt. if any one person at sse is hurt by "give us 200sc you suck" comments on the company ig page, something is wrong that can be fixed), and companies do need to get negative feedback as well as positive. even when that feedback isnt well-phrased: "i love this game" is also not well thought-out feedback, the same as "i hate this game". or "thank you for the reward" vs "i wanted more rewards". both are okay. neither are especially concrete or analytical.

2) some of them make a point that for the free sc we've received lately, you still can't even buy a 350sc pet, much less a 800+ sc horse. in.... you know, the horse game. which is a fair point. if you're a young player, without an income or the ability to make your own digital purchases, and maybe your parents either dont pay for sso for you *or* only pay occasionally... then, if you're passionate about wanting to play this game, you really *wish* you could buy a horse in this game but you cant, you're an engaged player/customer that should be valued by the company for your interest and loyalty... it does make sense to think that you could be rewarded with enough to buy a horse, once in a while. you would barely even be able to buy tack or clothes or a pet, still, without buying more sc (esp until recently when firefly shilling grinding wasnt a thing - but u still lose access to that if u lose your sr sub bc you / your parents couldnt pay for another month). and, you probably still want to buy another horse. its not as if getting 900sc for free and buying a horse means you wouldnt be interested in buying more sc later, for another horse, for tack, for clothes, for pets. you were engaged enough in the game in the first place to desire that horse so badly. its not likely youd just immediately stop being interested in buying sc or paying for sr... rather, you might be even more passionate now that you have that pretty horse you wanted for a year, now you really, really want to try to get star rider, or get that tack set for the horse. and maybe you can afford paying for a month of sr or use double sc weekend next time, even though you couldnt last year. engaged, passionate and loyal players/customers are important and should be valued. (not as in, value every single thing they say. value as in consider how to keep them positive towards your product and company. they will also spread word of mouth advertisement etc for free for you, if you keep them happy.)

ive said this before, but remember that getting a free horse should actually be a normal thing in sso (sc allowance isnt really "free" considering you have to be paying to get the allowance). the same way giving out a free weapon or free mount in other games makes sense (if its not possible to just earn them with non-premium currency). it brings in attention and eyes on your game when it happens, the same way their current micro-dosing-sc campaigns are getting them lots of players attention, and brings positivity and excitement in the playerbase. it makes returning players come check out what they've been missing and maybe spend some cash if they like what they see.

alternatively they could offer some horses for shillings instead of sc to help reward the players who just cant pay much for the game, if they dont want to give out large sums of sc (like 500-1000) or give out free horses. ofc the 10k js limit is a problem here if they want the horses to cost more than a sweater (tho... i think instead, no objects should cost more than 5000js individually..), but even that can be solved by making some system where you pay 10k js multiple times, like by unlocking different parts of a bundle or buying a few items that together will combine and form the full "key" to buying your shilling horse.

anyway. i think that before you call people names (greedy, untitled, whiny, stupid, mean, rude...) for something you disagree with, you should think properly about whether theyre actually hurting any real people (saying "i hate this" about a company or product or situation etc =/= saying "i hate you / i hate this person / i hate these people" about actual individual people or groups of people - and no, saying "but sse staff are people" doesnt make it different than criticising a company/product, unless one is literally sending hate to individual staff members as persons).

and, you should also try to understand where that reaction is coming from - both theirs, and yours. people are frustrated with Thing, people express negative emotions and thoughts and opinions towards Thing, and sometimes thats fair and okay. sometimes Thing has bad things that are worth being frustrated over or criticising, and yes, even if there are also good parts to Thing, its still completely valid to criticise the bad or less good parts, and to be frustrated about them. (nuance is necessary - its not okay to want people not to criticise Thing just because it has good parts, or just bc you love it - criticising Thing also doesnt mean they hate it or hate you - those are unhealthy mindsets without enough nuance.)

yes, sometimes people also "hate" on a Thing to take out frustrations that arent even related - it does happen, but its really just.... not that serious if 3 people are taking out their frustrations on a commercial product or capitalist company.... if you had a hard day and say, comment on a brand of soda's page to say "fuck you i hate you", this should not be a big deal to anyone. professional social media page managers need to be trained in how to cope with spam and other negative interactions. on the other hand, you taking out your frustrations on actual real individual people - or groups of people - is a genuine problem. saying "these people on ig are so whiny and greedy about this videogame" is rude and disrespectful when those people's frustrations are actually coming from a pretty reasonable source and arent hurting anyone. this teenager on instagram doesnt have a social media manager, this unprofessional sso youtuber is just a normal person like you, this tumblr blog doesnt deserve mean reactions from their peers just for expressing opinions about a Thing that isnt a Person. not if its not harming people.

but i know its really hard for me to ever get through to people about this bc some people just feel so strongly that "hating" on a product/company *is* somehow hating "on real people", is "harmful", usually both on the staff of the company and on the non-"haters". we're "harming you" by criticising your favourite game or disagreeing... "harming sso staff" by leaving negative comments... and so on. which is just not true and not reasonable. (usually painting people as either lovers or haters - and those of us who love the game but also criticise it and criticise the company, get painted as haters for no other reason than lack of nuance. i really cant believe how i've had a sso-centric blog for 5+ years and play this game a lot and people will STILL claim that actually i hate sso, im biased against sso, i dont care about sso, etc, etc, etc. its crazy.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for leaving a voice chat without telling my friends why

(were all adults)

recently me and a few friends started voice chatting every day in the evening, but ive noticed my mood dipping a lot at those times lately. today was another low point. we didnt have anything to do, so one of my friends (L) suggested watching a new show together, but i didnt really feel like watching it yet and the other friend in the vc at the time (K) didnt really reply. So we ended up playing a game together instead, and i got annoyed at something small so i told them id be gone for a moment to listen to loud music (since that usually helps me calm down/distract my brain from whatever got me feeling weird before). When i came back to the vc, I tried telling them why i got in a bad mood but they kinda brushed it off and i didnt feel like they were taking me seriously at all.

we kept playing for a bit but then i asked L to start a new topic so i could distract myself from bad thoughts and they suggested the show again, which i denied bc i really wasnt in the mood to watch it at that time. Then L started talking about how im often the one to suggest watching stuff together and they always say yes, but im never in the mood to watch anything they suggest. i started feeling even worse and asked if we can watch it together another time bc i really wasnt feeling it at the moment (i was also starting to cry but i dont think they noticed). L said that im always saying no or pushing stuff they suggest to another day and how a few years ago when we were both still in puberty i often suggested stuff and was 'always immediately in a bad mood' when they said no.

all of that wasnt helping my brain at that moment at all so i tried a few more times to kind of explain my pov and asked if we can watch it another time but they kept going on about how im 'always like that'. i was kind of spiraling the whole time and at some point i couldnt hold my thoughts back anymore and yelled back at L and told them that 'its really great to hear that weve been friends for years but this one thing i do was and is always annoying to you and you hate that i am like that and you hate everything i do and you hate me anyway' and stormed out of my room while knocking a lot of stuff over.

when i had calmed down a bit and could actually think properly again i was lying in the dark on my kitchen floor and after some minutes i got myself to get up, go back to my pc and turn if off (i had knocked down a monitor and some other stuff during my emotional reaction/escape before).

but when i did, i saw that my other screen showed me as still in the game, so i was probably still in the vc too while i was gone until i came back to turn off my pc, which probably means that after i left they tried to explain themselves and took me not replying as being bitchy or hurt about it until i turned the pc off (and left the vc), but i cant know for sure. Right now, K and L are still in the vc doing other stuff together but i dont feel well enough to message either of them or rejoin or do anything about it yet, my mind is kind of just blank.

but the tiny part of me that has the ability to think right now feels really bad about overreacting again and assuming that they hate me and just leaving without giving them the chance to explain themselves and then just turning off the pc without telling them anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[mlynar-nearl]

this is very long i am apologies

yes !!! i read ur essay (?) on mlynars grief too and i just think that youve got it down super neat (ive probably repeated this too many times) so like good job !!!

ah indeed i was the anon who asked abt his kit last time too (saw the art of him too btw its very pretty, very nice ur friend did an amazing job!) so do you think hed have a talent like aosta's in that he does extra (maybe % or maybe fixed) dmg to unblocked? or hes got like a skill thats like fartooth (global only target blocked but in his case its global only target unblocked?) i think either ways adding a different debuff to all of his skills would be fun ! do you think hed be rng based cc (like aak?) or like its specifically one debuff to each skill, those kinda stuff? honestly er this is a lot of questions you can selectively answer but i just think hes probably a neat wraith killer lol no more annoying unblocked assholes running around ehe but also on a separate note, do you think he has any special interactions with other operators (excl the ones from laterano) ? his hobbies etc (just go wild man, tell me wtv even his preferred breakfast or whether he hates grass or smth) also yes ty for the advice abt mandragora !! i only figured it out like... once i accidentally made her drop blocks on herself and she died due to low hp and i was like wtf cos ??? free elimination ? and i learnt i was very wrong later on but pozy saved my ass aha so it all worked out anyways ! just training for when i actually bother clearing ch 9 ig oh and until u said it i didnt rly notice that sss like... hates all snipers. (ive tried using chalter it didnt go well... pozy as well) like all the late stage sss stages just completely dont let you use snipers for anything other than like buffs (unless youre rosa ig might have chance) shit i screwed up this is even longer than last time im so sorry if this is uncomfortable to read :sob: if this is too uh ew to converse with i can chacha slide into ur dms (but give me time i am... well theres a reason im anon) but yeah anyways have a nice day so sorry for this length and as always u can selectively answer or ignore lol ! hope ur well !

don't worry about the length, i love answering questions! I will try and get to everything. thank you for the compliments ab my post i try (oh my god do i try) :]

i think his talents would involve extra damage + prio unblocked enemies + his source of crowd control. his CC would be strictly bind, not RNG like aak, because his arts are specifically grappling hook/rope shit. i think i've been theoretically calling this talent and arts type "tethering." in lore he mainly uses it for traversal, but there's no reason it wouldn't work on people, too, so i think it fits best as a crowd control bind. one of his skills would then just do a "talent trigger increase" as part of their functionality meaning extra bind chance. of course, how useful he would actually be as a concept depends on the numbers, which is the part i'm bad at, but still, fun to think about :]

for other operators, he would definitely get on well enough with some of the cooks among the RI operators, for one. his favorite flavor of sweet thing is cinnamon, and cinnamon is easy to incorporate into things, and he's smart enough to be polite to the people feeding his interests. he would also, i think, have interesting but awkward interactions with the iberians, because while he is not himself iberian, he has traveled extensively there and shares memories of the profound silence/aftermath thereof with Andoain. ultimately, i think he's polite to most everyone he runs into if he were to go to RI, but he's already rather closed off as a person and you have to open him up with a crowbar, so i don't know if anyone could be considered a friend of his. i don't even think fiammetta is really a friend of his (he would call it that, but that's far from correct), more that they have similar enough feelings on a specific topic that leads them to cooperate. i think even increasing trust with him still leaves a lot under the surface.

other shealtiel facts...he prefers cats to dogs but understands the appeal of both, but his favorite animals are birds. being a sniper, he sees a lot of them, and spends a lot of time in places birds nest. i imagine lateran schools have a class on religion similar to catholic school (where i have unfortunately been), and that was his favorite subject because his mother was a canonist and spent most of her time analyzing the scriptures and teachings of lateran. he's surprisingly flexible because of this- he actually idealogically overlaps with andoain more than he'd like to admit, he just hates the man's methods. and life choices. when he's on the road he survives off of breakfast bars and terran poptarts. he prefers chilly weather to heat, but hates heavy snow. he has a halfway decent singing voice but never uses it outside of when he's free enough to attend a lateran service. his plan for immediately after achieving his goal (killing andoain with fia) is to take a vacation somewhere cold-but-not-too-cold and isolated and not answer his messages for six to seven months. he's still on the fence about where, though. he would do that right now if he didn't have duties to fulfill. his favorite mixed drink is a gingerbread gin and tonic (g&t + baking spice infused amaretto.) his favorite non-alcoholic drink is cranberry juice. he's become partial to a dying brand of iberian cookies because andoain likes them and he's started buying them up ahead of him out of a petty sort of spite.

SSS really does hate snipers which sucks b/c i do love me a sniperknights. chalter doesn't fall off quite as bad as some because she's useful for bosses but it's still Bad. i still bring snipers for the aspd buffs, but most of them just arent gonna hold up too much. sad :( gj with mandra! she's annoying but at least in her actual boss levels that aren't TFN you get the automatic pillar destroyers. good luck on chapter 9 when you get there :]

[natashas-girl]

If you’re happy part 4

A/n: I've been putting this off for so long. . .

Summary: yelena tells natasha that y/n is not ok

Tw: death

Natasha's POV:

Sometimes i still think about y/n. I know that it's silly. I don't. . . I'm not in love with her, but i still love her. Maria is the love of my life, of course. And I'm really glad that y/n gave us that push, because we were both too decent to admit our feelings to each other while i had a girlfriend. And now. . .

Now we were getting married. 

But i still care about her. 

I'm kind of worried, actually. 

"Natasha?" A voice asked. 

"Yelena? What are you doing here?" I spun around, wasn't yelena a wanted criminal or something?

"You need to talk to y/n before she does something stupid." 

"Wait a second. . . You know where y/n is?"

-time skip-

Y/n's POV:

Shit, why were you doing this. You couldn't run from natasha. And if she found you. . .

Well, that would be a shitty disaster. 

You reached a gas station. Hmm, this would have to do. After digging through the backseat, you came up with a piece of paper note and a pen. Score. 

You hastily scribbled on the note:

          Dear Natasha, 

Please, if your reading this, stop looking for me. Trust me, I'm not worth it. Please, just be happy. Live your life. Start a family with the woman you love. Maybe save the world if it needs it. 

All the best,

Y/n

You paused a second before adding on the back:

We both know that it's too late. 

You walked into the gas station and asked the guy at the counter to give it to the first person who asked about a y/n. Hopefully it would work, thats what happened in movies. 

Hopefully she wouldn't find you. 

Natasha POV:

Yelena told me where she was but she wouldn't go with me. She said that i needed to do this alone. I mean, she was right, but it would've been nice if she had done more than dump me at y/n's door. 

I silently walked in, because i didnt want to startle her and make her run away. But. . .

She wasn't there.

Shit.

I couldn't find her car, either. 

Y/n POV:

Oh, shit. Oh, shit shit shit.

There. Right there. There was a car. Where the fuck did that car come from? It was a completely empty road a minute ago. . . Wait- was there no one in that car? what the fuck-

You pressed the pedal as hard as you could, but it was no use, you were already flying toward the car. 

Natasha POV:

I found her note. Which, if anything, let me know that i was on the right track. I needed to find her before something happened. 

Y/n POV:

Your car was upside down. On the road with you in it. 

This is probably how a lot of people die, you thought. Because you were dying. And you knew that. You just had to stay alive until Natasha found you. . . 

Hurry up, hot assassin. 

Natasha POV:

Uh oh. That looked like her car. It was upside down, on the road. And. . . Yep, there she was. It was funny how i only realized now that i hadn't seen her since she dumped me. Well, not funny. Nothing was funny now. Because. . . Y/n was dying. 

This was all my fault. 

I should have checked up on her more. I shouldn't have let her leave. I should have refused to break up with her. I should have shown more affection towards her.

I shouldn't have introduced her to Maria. 

"Y/n. . ." I whispered. Her eyes popped open. 

"Natasha. . . You came back."

And then i watched as her eyes faded and her breaths slowly stopped. 

I had to hear it when she whispered a barely audible, "i love you." 

And i had to live with that. 

I didn’t read like half of what i wrote so please tell me if its weird

I wrote about y/n driving but i have never driven in my life. Because ✨public transportation✨

School has been beating the crap outta me and real classes haven't even started yet. 

@justyourwritter69 @thatonebrazilian @alianovnasposts