#which means that even when the resources are there nobody can actually find them without having to navigate a web of referrals and digging

[mllemaenad]

Not that you are by any means the worst offender in this regard, but it rubs me ghe wrong way how much leniency the NCR gets when it comes to considering the effects of their actions, and perhaps more importantly, their intentions.

Groups like Caesar's Legion, The Brotherhood of Steel, House's factions, The Unity, The Enclave, and The Institute are treated as villains if anyone is even indireehurt because of them.

If two human surface-dwellers kill each other in Diamond City, people blame the Institute.

If the White Legs emulate Twisted Hair cultural traditions without fully understanding them, Ulysses blames the Legion.

And yet... the NCR is treated by fans as well-intentioned and good-natured despite the harm they cause. The situation in Nipton was the fault of the NCR. Its corrupt Mayor was from the NCR. The Powder Gangers were only in the Mojave because the NCR moved them there.

Vulpes set up his lottery (not that I'm saying it was a perfect solution) to address a problem that had gotten out of hand, a problem downstream of the NCR... and yet most fan discussions blame the Legion for what happened in Nipton.

ThevNCR seems to get a pass because people see their goals as noble... but their goals are to recreate the exact conditions that caused the Great War!

We see the exact same phenomena in pre-war terminals as we do in contemporary NCR. A government more obsessed with maintaining its own power than solving problems, a corrupt justice system that favours the wealthy, an obsession with democracy that makes decisions slow and bureaucratic, and a rapacious desire for resources that leads to expansion and conflict eith other factions.

Why is Caesar condemned for his ego, and his shortsigtedness, but Kimball is not?

Why is Roger Maxon blamed for creating an organisation that has hurt people, but not Aradesh?

Why is Justin Ayo blamed for his secrecy and lack of trust, but not Colonel Moore?

It's a double-standard. Others are blamed for trying something new, the NCR gets carte blanch to repeat old mistakes!

Hi, anonymous person.

So ... I've read this, and I've read it again, and again after that and ... I'm a little puzzled about what's bothering you. The NCR is broadly attempting to feed, clothe and house hundreds of thousands of people ... and fans tend to give them a little more leeway when they fuck up than they do, say, the Enclave, which is a fascist organisation bent on global genocide and this is ... bad?

Honestly not really seeing the problem there.

I've barely written anything about the NCR, and certainly not in depth character profiles of the people you bring up, so I'm not completely sure why this is directed at me. If you're saying that there are fans who refuse to acknowledge that the NCR has flaws ... well, I haven't met those people, but if you look for an opinion on the internet you'll probably find it, so I'm not going to try to claim they don't exist. I've seen people claim women don't play Fallout, which is kind of a problem, from where I'm sitting. :)

But. Well, okay.

It's a double-standard. Others are blamed for trying something new, the NCR gets carte blanch to repeat old mistakes!

Nobody's trying anything new. That's kind of the point here. War never changes. Just to do the main antagonists ...

Richard Grey/The Master is just doing eugenics with a sci-fi twist. He's going to forcibly convert everyone who can be into a super mutant, and prevent any remaining humans from breeding. One of the ways to beat him is to tell him that his "master race" is sterile. It's a horrifying plan.

The Enclave are American fascists. They believe that only their people are truly human and that everyone else should literally die.

Edward Sallow/Caesar is ... I mean he's just cosplaying as Caius Julius Caesar because he thinks it looks cool. That's an actual human being who lived, and who quite famously got stabbed to death. More historical precedent than you could shake a gladius at. Sallow got over excited when he read Caesar's Commentaries and decided he wanted to be Caesar. Presenting "doing ancient Rome" as new is ... certainly something, and particularly hilarious as a plan for a civilisation given the decades long clusterfuck that was the fall of the Roman Republic, plus fun subsequent imperial followups like "the year of the four emperors".

The Institute has just reintroduced slavery, only this time let's 3D print the people instead of abducting them so literally no one will care what we do to them! They also lean into the idea that they are the only real people, although they are not quite as committed to this as the Enclave.

What's new and exciting here that I should be willing to give a try? They're all old ideas, and ideas that seem to involve a lot of genocide, enslavement and general misery for anybody who isn't part of a specific in group.

Vulpes set up his lottery (not that I'm saying it was a perfect solution) to address a problem that had gotten out of hand, a problem downstream of the NCR… and yet most fan discussions blame the Legion for what happened in Nipton.

I ... what? Yeah, I'm going to disappoint you here. The massacre at Nipton was the Legion's fault because they were the ones who walked in there and, you know, massacred people. Mayor Steyn was absolutely engaging in a round of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" and if anybody tries to argue that he was competent I will dispute that wholeheartedly. But there was only a massacre because the Legion actively set one up.

There's political corruption in Nipton, but the problem of the Legion is that they think a lottery that decides who gets beheaded, who gets crucified and who gets sold into slavery is some sort of solution to that problem, rather than an atrocity. That's why they're still the bad karma choice, even if the NCR is kind of fucking things up.

Also ... ha. I promise you imitating ancient Rome is not going to solve your political corruption problems. I mean ... I know Vulpes Inculta makes his little speech, but Rome never did solve the problem of profiteering governors and corrupt politicians. This is not a problem that is going to miraculously disappear under Legion rule. And the idea of Rome somehow getting rid of prostitution is just ... Honestly, Caesar's Legion would be hilarious if you didn't have to have these conversations standing next to people dying on crosses.

If two human surface-dwellers kill each other in Diamond City, people blame the Institute.

... Diamond City is run by the Institute, under the synth-replacement of Mayor McDonough. The leadership actively plays up the paranoia in the city by refusing to investigate disappearances. The particular scene you are describing is paired with one that occurs in Goodneighbor, where the neighborhood watch is able to accurately identify a synth infiltrator – because they are not Institute run.

It's also a feature of gameplay that an inhabitant of one of your settlements may be a synth infiltrator and become hostile to the other settlers. So I'm pretty sure people are blaming the Institute for things they're doing.

If the White Legs emulate Twisted Hair cultural traditions without fully understanding them, Ulysses blames the Legion.

... The Legion massacred Ulysses' people. They enslaved some and crucified the rest along the roadside, like Spartacus's army of old. That's why he's the only one left who understands what the braids mean. His reaction is somewhat unfair to the White Legs, yes, who had no way of knowing what they were doing was wrong ... but I can't see why blaming the Legion would be a problem. They did, in fact, exterminate his people.

ThevNCR seems to get a pass because people see their goals as noble… but their goals are to recreate the exact conditions that caused the Great War!

There's a line I like, that Deacon says in Fallout 4.

I never really much cared for the Minutemen. The idea sounds great. But you give small men big power and sometimes you'll pay for it. –Fallout 4, Deacon Miscellaneous Dialogue

In the context of Fallout 4, the Minutemen are the scrappy underdogs you root for. They're helping to rebuild the shattered settlements of the Commonwealth and they're a potential source of resistance against the Institute. But if you talk to Preston, you get hints of the politics and infighting that brought them down the first time. There's no reason that couldn't happen again. They could become a controlling and exploitative organisation.

Do I think that means you shouldn't work with them? No, of course not. You deal with the situation in front of you. You try to support the people who aim to make life better for everyone.

If we roll back around to the Commonwealth in Fallout 8 or something (assuming I haven't died of old age by then) and the Minutemen have become a military dictatorship ruling the people with an iron fist ... well, we go deal with the fucking Minutemen then.

Deacon's right about the threat, but if you don't take the chance on trusting people, you never build anything.

It's a thing in Fallout. War never changes. There are some truly evil, terrible ideas that turn up again and again and need to be slapped down. But there is no perfect Utopia on the other side of it. There are just communities banding together to try and make it work. What stops them from going bad? Nothing. It can always happen. You make the best choices you can in every story, given what you have to work with.

Or you do an evil playthrough. Your choice. Not my business.

The NCR is supposed to hurt. Watching them fail is supposed to hurt. It's no good if it doesn't hurt. No one cries when you blow up the Enclave. That's a job well done. You can't say good things about them.

The point of the NCR is that you can. They have some runs on the board! Democracy! Agriculture! Education! You want them to make it work. And yeah, it lets you ask much more interesting questions like: how many fuck ups do we let slide?

We don't need the Enclave, or the Legion, to fuck up to know they're bad news. Their goals are bad. We want them gone. But with the NCR ... how much bad are we okay with, to keep the good?

You haven't given me any examples to work with, so I can't reasonably speak to what fans say. But I don't think the games give them any sort of uncritical pass. Fallout New Vegas is ... absolutely about the problems of colonialism and aggressive expansionism. It's very clear that the NCR has not made good choices recently. The game gives you a lot of room to figure out what you want to do about that, and no answer is perfect.

It's only with regard to the Legion specifically that it's an obviously moral choice – and they level the playing field for you there. Both the Legion and the NCR have imperial pretensions, and those are not good. But since that specific thing is the same, well, we're supporting the people who aren't implementing mass slavery and treating women as "breeding stock", right?

If there are people who won't admit flaws in the NCR, well, yeah, I'd call them wrong. But I don't really think it's a double standard to favour a group that doesn't have "wouldn't it be great if we murdered everybody" as a core philosophy over one that does.

[too-many-hyperfixations]

Unwind AU but how our world was in the pre-2020s because these kids deserve better

Connor: Delinquent, but not all that scary in truth. He just gets detention often enough, and plays a sport while being tall enough that other kids assume he’s strong so most kids leave his “gang” be. The kids in his gang use this for protection, but it’s a pretty bullyable lot overall despite the numbers. He’s left with a bad shoulder from overexertion, won’t say to anyone else how he got it, and everyone just makes up an edgy backstory for him.

Risa: Honor roll student who plays keyboard in band. In a wheelchair from a building collapse, but it wasn’t a harvest camp in this universe, rather that the home she was placed in at the moment by the foster care system collapsed.

Hayden: President of the broadcasting club, which just means that he puts together the morning announcements. Still amazing with technology, but he would rather do things like romhacks on his own time and use school to get himself in front of the camera and mic!

Camus Comprix: Cameron Cailloux (spent hours finding a replacement last name, be grateful Cam) gave me kind of a hard time because he. Well. Only exists in the books from a technology we don’t have and would never approve and even more uses of that technology that we don’t have and would never approve. The closest thing I can think of to his multitude of skin tones is him having vitiligo, and the closest thing I can think of for a lab made person is… IVF but that’s not even close to the same thing as what Cam is in the books. If anyone has ideas in the comments, I’ll edit and credit, but yeah he’s difficult. Photography club tho bc we can’t stop making fun of this man calling him Kodak. I might cut him altogether.

Mason Micheal Starkey: Storking is basically just adoption with less steps in the book so in this AU he was adopted by a family that was willing to take care of him, but he was bullied by other kids for being adopted with being told his birth family found him unlovable, and started to internalize those insults and build up resentment toward the people who put him up for adoption even without knowing them. When school is out for the year, he goes to a summer camp to learn magic. He’s much less bullied there, but it’s due to him using violence to get his way and not caring if he’s feared or respected as long as he gets to feel like he’s in control.

Levi: I am not touching most of his arc with a 50 foot pole because holy moly that was a lot of stereotyping. Levi’s family had to give him to the foster system after a layoff caused 10 kids to be too much to take care of. He played on the school’s baseball team before transferring out of his private Catholic school when put in the foster system, and now plays on the same team as Connor and is starting to question his beliefs now that he isn’t only around people who believe in God.

Roland: Learned a lot of violent behavior from his stepfather without realizing before going to juvenile detention for a non-premeditated murder. Openly violent in an attempt to be seen as scary enough to listen too, and frequently manipulated by Mason, who tricks him into using this behavior to cow his own rivals into submission while Starkey doesn’t have to go to detention for it.

Nelson: School resource officer, may he perish.

Argent Skinner: Self important hall monitor who sees himself as Connor’s arch nemesis as he tries to catch Connor in some mild mischief all the while missing how much of a pair of jerks Starkey and Roland are being.

Grace Skinner: On the chess club and CRUSHES in multiplayer math games when they’re used in class. She’s in special ed, but that’s not why people make fun of her, people make fun of her simply for being related to Argent. Argent has it doubly bad for actually being himself because nobody likes a persnickety snitch hall monitor. Her home computer has 4D chess with time travel installed, which Hayden will play against her on only to be terrified by her being just as good there too.

I didn’t watch far enough into a video essay, thought the books sounded good and didn’t realize they don’t even hold up by 2006 standards, and then had to finish the series once I started it bc OCD is fun and nooooow we’re HERE. Apparently the author is on here, I blocked him.

[yubellia]

Nobody needs a Snow White remake. Snow is already a strong protagonist

Yes. I just said that. And I mean it. You can‘t believe how the actress that plays Snow White is getting on my nerves. „She won‘t be saved by a prince.“ „it’s not about ‚one day my prince will come‘.“ and NO! This is not about her skin color! That discussion is so annoying anyway. This is about her talking nonsense! Nothing more!

Seriously, I know it sounds like I am looking down on that girl. Yes, girl. She is just 23. And I know she probably doesn’t have that much control over anything there. But all I see is a kid, that thinks she is super smart and smug because she has it figured out and isn’t realizing that she knows nothing.

Like, excuse me?! Did she even watch the original movie? Did the team behind this movie watch the original?!

Let’s take a look because if you do, you see that snow is not a damsel and indeed very strong in the context of her circumstances! Everything they claim Snow White lags, she already has. You just have to look and actually want to see it!

——————————————————

The first scene with snow is after the queen learns about her not being the fairest anymore. Snow is forced to work as a maid wearing rags pretty much. Is she complaining or whining? No. She puts on a smile and sings a song about how things will get better. She get to know the prince, the queen is jealous and orders the huntsman to kill her.

One of the things people complain about is that snow is too passive. Too nice. Sorry but that is her greatest strength.

It’s her kindness that made the huntsman spare her life. What made the dwarves take her in. After she runs away, she breaks down crying in the forest before the animals help her. She sings a song and NEVER cries again in the entire movie.

You have to understand that Snow White is a teenager. She just learned that her stepmother, the only family she had left, wants to kill her. She ran, has no food, no home for the night. She has nothing except the clothes that she wears. Breaking down crying in that moment isn’t weak. It’s VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND ACCURATE!

Now, she finds the cottage and decides to clean up. That’s not Disney being anti feminist and Snow White being a weak woman. She realizes that she won‘t be able to stay for free. She notices that no one is doing household chores, which is what the queen forces her to do for years. So she thinks, I proof myself usefull to them and than, they might let me stay. She even said that outright!

She notices that there is a position that could give her an advantage and she uses that! She is very resourceful and uses what little she has! Not just that! She also proofs that she has leadership skills like a royal by splitting the chores up to the animals! „Snow white won‘t dream of love. She will dream of becoming a leader!“ pah! She already is! It’s small yes but that’s natural in her position! Where exactly is Snow White shown to be weak!? Or a damsel that needs to be saved?! She saves herself (with animals).

Later when she sends the dwarves to wash their hands, she takes on a strict but caring role. She shows leadership skills the entire time!

And yes, there is a little bit of romance. She does hope to see the prince again. But she NEVER waits for him to save her! She focused on what’s important and did it herself! What’s so damn wrong with dreaming of a loving relationship?! Can somebody explain that to me!?

At the end, Snow White is the story about a victim of abuse, she escapes, TAKES ON A JOB! And earns her place and food among the dwarves. She does beg them to let her stay but NEVER without offering her services. And even when she literally has the most powerful woman of the land against her, she tries to stay positive and put on a smile! A truly strong, independent woman who gets her happy ending with her prince! A great role model if you ask me.

Do you see now why I think that Rachel Zegler and Disney have no damn idea what they are talking about when they speak about the original movie!? You CAN watch the original Snow White and find a very positive feminist message on how to be strong AND kind despite the odds! But if you don‘t WANT to see it, we get a remake no one asked for! Yes Snow White is not this „in your face!“ feminist! But honestly, we don‘t need more girl boss movies. And I am saying that as a woman!

If they wanted to do something unique and expand on the original, why didn’t they use the real original story and combine it? Make the queen try to get rid of Snow White not twice but FOUR times in total. That way they could focus more on the characters, their bonds and make the queen even creepier.

—————————���————————-

I hope i didn’t offend anyone too much here. But I think many people are already scared for this movie. But seriously, watch the original and remember this post. You will see it. I promise.

[soup-of-the-daisies]

☕️ do you have thoughts on... um... rita skeeter/voldemort? [i'm so sorry for putting this image in your head 😭😭😭]

thanks i hate it 😭😭 but let’s try to figure out how this would work 😇

i thought about it a little bit last night, and i think that vee would find rita very useful for spreading propaganda. in my headcanon voldemort is all about destroying the wizarding world (or at least the british one) to laugh over its ashes, after which he retreats into a large ominous castle, hoards all knowledge on magic possible, and promptly morphs into a dracula-like academic but without the blood. but before that he does need to take over magical britain, and propaganda is very useful for that.

rita is a great journalist. i wouldn’t say she’s a morally good one, but she’s a great journalist in the way that she 1) is very ambitious, 2) is naturally curious and knowledge-hungry (…gossip-hungry, but gossip is knowledge), 3) is very capable of writing intriguing stories (that quote-quill doesn’t do all the work), 4) has a loyal and enthusiastic reader base who usually believes her, and 5) can write multiple types of journalistic articles (see her accurate investigative journalism for the book on dumbledore). apart from being like the only real journalist we know of in magical britain, there’s a reason why fic often uses her to further the mc’s or the antagonist’s agenda—even if it’s done under the threat of blackmail. she’s got power and talent, and writing tabloid-quality articles for a trash rag like the daily prophet does not mean that she’s not a genuine journalist. her biggest problem is her lack of morals (which is, contrary to popular belief, quite important in ‘neutral’ journalism), and all she cares about is sensational news and (presumably) money.

all of that means that she’d be absolutely stellar for furthering voldemort’s agenda. given the proper resources, she can easily put aside any morals she still has and write articles that at first subtly, and later blatantly try to convince the reader that voldemort’s side is the right side of history. especially in a society as corrupt and easily manipulated as magical britain (after years of peace available to heal from the damage of the first war, vee and his DE’s took over the country in like… a few months? just after dumbledore died?? that is NOT a healthy system). she’s THE way to get the regular populace on voldemort’s side, through sensation and gossip.

so how would it play out? thank you for asking. i have no idea rita is kidnapped and wakes up in whatever mansion voldemort has decided to hibernate live in. she’s understandably furious at first and promises to utterly destroy voldemort in the eyes of everybody, but voldemort bargains with her. “You will receive riches and safety in exchange for putting the media on my side,” he says snakily, forked tongue flicking out with a distinct air of smugness, “or I kill you.”

the choice is easy. rita is returned to her home with some kind of unbreakable vow or a dark mark or whatever else would tie her to voldemort, and voldemort sits back and decides to get a subscription to the daily prophet. her articles are (god forbid) actually quite entertaining and voldemort thoroughly enjoys picking out how she twists objective truths into lines supporting his cause with his morning coffee, after which he does the dreadfully easy crossword or the sudoku or whatever. soon after, he starts sending her the articles she’s written, annotated with things he enjoyed and things that he thinks could be better; rita, fearing for her life but also rather enjoying the praise, begins to send him her final drafts for him to review before she has them printed. they begin to send each other letters.

voldemort only writes to her when he’s bored at first (nobody to torture, be it through magic or just his general presence) (draco malfoy has gone back to hogwarts for the week and everybody has been awfully obedient), but later on he’s also starting to do so?? at nearly every available moment?? because her fear and passion is just so enjoyable. he’s fully aware that she may betray him at any point (this is the case of most of the vermin following him), but currently she loves her life too much, so she won’t. besides, it’s working: people have become suspicious of the order, are genuinely musing about what it would be like with voldemort in charge of everything, besides the fact that people are still getting killed or kidnapped. it’s delightful what good propaganda can do.

eventually (maybe??) she’d live with voldemort, so he can keep a proper eye on what she writes (possibly because he’s getting busier with paperwork related to Taking Over A Country and she’s in increasing danger or smth). maybe they’d sit in his office in silence in the evenings as they both work. she’s still under threat of getting killed when he grows bored of her, but he’s decided against torturing her because she could just as easily take his empire down if he makes her genuinely displeased.

i’m unsure how this would continue and if they’d ever have sex. i think voldemort would grow vaguely fond of rita in that same way one grows fond of a robotic mower: you smile when you see it, but it’s still no more than a useful robot. and similarly, rita grows fond of voldemort because 1) he gives her a lot of money, 2) he’s not actively killing her, and 3) he’s intelligent and enthusiastic about her work.

they will not love each other. they’d be vaguely disappointed about the other’s death, at most. this is a very cursed ship but it’s viable through some mental gymnastics.

some shipname options:

skriddle

soulquill

ritamort

… you are welcome to send me more absurd ships to ask my opinion about ♥️

[betterbemeta]

I'm just starting out watching star trek but the more I watch the more it seems to me that the actual role of a starfleet ship captain is to be the main tank. like in a MMO raid group.

the main tank is often the 'leader' of the raid or dungeon instance or whatever the multiplayer instance is called. This is because they are often very close up in the boss fight's face and are seeing its telegraphs, and often have to call them for the supporting players. They are basically in the central chair on the metaphorical bridge, to do their job. There is no other way to do the job.

It is also the main tank's responsibility to position a boss when possible so its attacks endanger the minimum amount of other players. It is like 70% of their mechanical role to make needs-of-the-many calls, while they personally mitigate as much punishment as they can. To facilitate this, they can't just use their own abilities to shrug off damage; they must know ahead of time for each encounter how other players must stand in formation, which is another reason why they're often the 'leader.'

In encounters where the boss or main threat can't be positioned, the main tank's responsibility is to prevent adds from reaching other group members, relieve as much pressure from the other group members as possible, and to replenish group resources. Basically: facilitating everybody else's jobs, so they must understand what each group member needs to accomplish their roles, too.

During an encounter, communications are often restricted to the main tank, healers, and sometimes a lead DPS (in cases where the DPS has to split off to some kind of special mechanic or task?). The main tank is responsible for responding to the input or status of these other role leaders (identical to 'status updates' during a situation on the bridge.)

When something goes wrong in an encounter, like if a healer dies, it is the main tank's responsibility to keep a cool head and clearly direct other group members about how to recover or adjust the strategy during a confusing situation. (again, like during every space battle,)

Because of the low margin of error for themselves and their group if they make a mistake or call something incorrectly, the lead tank is expected to study the attack patterns and phases of each encounter in the raid. This is important even when running brand-new content because it's often derivative of older content in some way. (a new space vexation happens every week and the captain is expected to know how to roll with it, every time,)

The main tank is often in a leadership role in a raiding guild because organizing 20-40 people for group activities tracks to social/guild organizing. The drama about if somebody is good in this role or if they are toxic in this role tracks perfectly to personas in the command track, as does drama about which guilds are more 'elite' or prestigious than other guilds.

Main tanks have a reputation for being bossy and status-driven but too much focus on hierarchy actually hurts their ability to do their job, and nearly every effective main tank is good at communicating with less experienced group members without intimidating or subordinating them. The main tank is often responsible for kicking truly disruptive people who join the group, so without establishing this trust nobody wants to sign up for their activities.

Main tanks often have a best friend who is likely their regular lead healer, their off-tank (who they may have trained?), or rarely an experienced DPS who helps them coordinate the positioning of other DPS on the ground. it's really unlikely they'll take a raid without this person; the amount of time in multiplayer content like this means they have friends with similar time investment. This is basically their number one and if you find a main tank who does not have this person either something happened, or you should be wary of them/why they want this responsibility but don't keep consistent friends.

In most games that feature tanks, choosing to be one nerfs your character significantly in doing other kinds of content such as single player questing or PVP. They are only powerful when they are supported by other players, just like how starfleet captains get bodied all the time when they're on their own despite being well-educated badasses the rest of the time.

Main tanks can even be expected to do diplomacy as the 'leader' of the activity they are doing. Such as doing gear runs and asking that others give up certain drops to outfit one of the party members for more difficult content, deciding when to give up and how to persuade the group without hurting morale if the raid isn't succeeding for whatever reason, and negotiating availability for scheduled raids and substitutes in case people can't make it.

incidentally, the other role parallel I can think of for the ideal main tank is 'grade school teacher', so make of that what you will.

[adleryoung]

A magick school for lowfolk? The thought of them snooping all over a sacred elvish palace made my skin crawl, but what concerned me most was the presence of Edessa. I had unfinished business with the scheming, conniving femme who played a key role in Estmere's death and my long imprisonment. The lowfolk magick school itself … that could be a potential asset, if I controlled it. My grandfather, Adler the Prudent, had seen fit to encourage the Lowfolk Interbreeding Initiative, so clearly fostering good relationships with the lowfolk should be an Imperial initiative. I could dictate the school's curriculum and boost my own prestige if the students saw me as their main benefactor. After all, I had been planning to teach a coven of lowfolk witches magick before that whole plan fell apart. If someone was founding an actual school, why not let them do the work so I could reap the rewards?

"I'll see what I can do," I told Ash.

"I should certainly hope so!" he retorted hotly. "This is a serious threat to the elves' superior position over lowfolk. I'd also like to request that you call me by my proper name henceforth. When you lifted my geas of banishment, you also gave me back my Vulpitanian name, Dr. Owter Cessawonki. The lowfolk name 'Ash Marten' is so crass. It's beneath someone of my stature."

Ash was an ass, but I held my tongue. No sense getting into an argument since he had clearly come to help. "You're reestablishing yourself in Faerie," I observed. "That means you have a damage report on the current social and political situation."

"I've only recently been back," he admitted, "so my knowledge is very basic, but anyone with eyes can tell that Faerie is in freefall and on the verge of collapse. Whatever your plan is to fix this mess, I hope you do it quickly. The prevailing opinion seems to be that you are an ambitious upstart who murdered his brother, and in that respect you have widespread support among traditionalists. Even the Seelie can hardly find fault with such tactics. However, most elves also believe you released the Plague of Battles just to watch the world burn, and nobody wants a reckless madman in charge. Plus the Gaps have fractured Faerie into innumerable isolated realms, many of which are only accessible by Gate. They've mostly grown accustomed to ruling themselves over these past few centuries and are not likely to swear allegiance to Albric Tor without some heavy persuasion. You may officially be crowned Emperor, but getting anyone to accept your rule will be a challenge. A civil war could potentially start if there was any faction actually capable to wage one. None of these pocket realms, with the possible exception of Vulpitania, possess the strength to oppose you. Currently that's to your advantage, but it won't be for long. Once a real push for reunification begins, then competitors will start popping out of the woodwork."

Hmm. I needed to confront Edessa, and see if I could count this lowfolk magickal school as an asset. I also needed to start strategizing ways to rebuild the Empire. Or did I? That felt more like a long-term goal, while the old queen lurking in a school library seemed more immediate. She was a threat to my imperial authority, so dealing with her would also further my other goal. That settled it. I would take care of Edessa first.

Now then … should I go straight to Persoc Tor, or should I enlist the aid of Burnside and Rebecca? Burnside would be useful if I needed to strongarm the heartless wench who murdered my brother, and Rebecca might find a magickal school appealing. If I could somehow link Rebecca's coven and the school together, that would make these potential resources all the more valuable.

Can you guess what I did? (i.e. time to wake up and make a few audience suggestions)

"Oh, one last thing," Ash, I mean Dr. Cesawonki added before I departed on my journey. "Might you have any knowledge as to the whereabouts of General Bonsai and his shrub knights?"

[meat-the-sullivans]

Tw: vauge references to self harm.

So last time Sully was off his meds, his paranoia got really bad. And I mean really, really bad. He was convinced his boss in the mafia didn’t actually trust him, and that they had put a tracking chip on him somewhere.

He searched and scratched at his whole body trying to find it. Eventually even pulling our one of his own teeth (which yes he did get a fake one put in later once he was more lucid and back on his meds)

His medication numbs him out a lot which is why he’s usually very calm and collected for the most part. Speaks pretty monotone and proper. And never, ever raises his voice, especially at the children.

But he’s much more like his little brother when he’s off his meds. Except Cade is usually aware of what he’s doing and why, which arguably makes him more scary from a normal persons perspective. Because he knows what he’s doing and still chosen to do it, sometimes even happily. But Sully, when he’s like this, is only really half aware of his surroundings. It’s hard for him to know what’s reality and what isn’t. Which makes him entirely unhinged and unpredictable.

His biggest fear being off his meds is that he’ll do something that will scare the kids. Or worse, in a delusional state, he might hurt one of them, thinking they’re someone else. Unlike Cade, who’s never been to therapy (other than the mandatory sessions to get approved for trans health services) Sully has been in and out of therapy since he was 7, and has been heavily medicated since he was 12.

Sure, he was still killing people, while on his medication. But for most of it, he was just following orders in the mafia. And when he wasn’t, his kills were very skilfully planned out and meticulous, never leaving a trail until his boss thought he was too much of a loose cannon and framed him for everything, including murders he didn’t even commit with his own two hands.

He became knows as the Catacombs killer cause his boss planted all the remains in the Paris Catacombs to be found.

Sully was also devastated after he lost Daffodil, and was carrying around a lot of Rage and anger in his younger years over it. Of course, he was also using the mafia right back, using the skills the taught him and their resources for his own gain.

One of his Delusions that never leaves, medication or not, is that Dipper “cannot survive” without a mother. Despite the physical evidence of her doing just fine up until now, he’s still convinced she would be better off is she had one. And because this isn’t just your average desire of “I want a wife, and a mother for my kids”, he often and willingly goes to far with it.

His plan when he seeks out these women is never to kill them. But it always seems to be the outcome. Because nobody can live up to his Daffodil, his Queen, and nobody is good enough for his little princess.

Out of everyone in the family, Sully could feasibly turn his life around. Move again and just pretend to be normal. He could give up on this silly quest of his and just be a dad. Sure a dad with a horrible, insane past, but Sully has always killed out of what he perceived as necessity. Wether that’s the truth of the matter or not.

He’s very suggestible, and irritable and easily manipulated when he’s off his medication. Hence why Cade stole them in the first place. Cade doesn’t do well with authority, not even when it’s his own family. He wants to be in charge. All three of the Sullivan’s have OCD, it’s one of the illnesses that runs on their family. But they all have it at Differing levels. Sully is more driven by his obsessions, while Cade is more driven by his compulsions.

Obviously Dipper hasn’t shown many signs of anything yet, but she’s only seven. Sure she has to drink blood to survive, but that’s not her fault. And as of right now, she hasn’t directly done anything to cause the death of the people she gets her blood from. That’s all been her father. But I assure you, she will become the most unhinged in the family. Having been raised by Sully and partially her uncle, there’s no way in hell this girl is turning out “normal”. Her entire view point of morality is already being skewed.

But unlike her father, who is constantly searching for love, Dipper is the opposite and doesn’t believe in it. Not in the way that Cade “doesn’t”, where he just needs to be show what love can feel like, and that it’s a good thing. She genuinely believes it’s not real, and people are foolish for seeking it out. Yes, including her family.

Anyways, that’s all the back story spiel I’ve got for now…

Tag: @queer-and-utter-chaos @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @mothmans-kingdom @shonkgobonk @myers-meadow @bluecoolr-main @solmints-messyocdiary

[aelaer]

“Nobody asked about my writing” meme

Thanks for the tag, @tea-understands :) Thankfully I have a small handful of folks who ask me about such things but I do love these memes.

 1: what are you currently working on? 

The Big Boy Fic! The finale of Earth-197320, which I'm 99% certain I am calling Above the Shadows. And I'll have a fun update on Write Every Day June in a couple days.

2: summarize your current project 

It's the fifth and final fic in a series that I started 4 years ago from an anonymous prompt sent to @amethyst-noir. I really clicked with it and she gave me her blessing to pursue it as a full-fledged fic, and here we are today.

Here's my first stab at a proper summary that I wrote for this questionnaire (tell me what you think y'all??):

2019 starts off in crisis-mode as rifts within the borders of reality begin spiraling out of control, drawing the resources of the Masters of the Mystic Arts thin. Tony now juggles the problems of a suddenly-absent Stephen, keeping his work with the sorcerers a secret, and Pepper's uncertain future. Stephen does what he can to maintain the stability of reality while keeping the promises he made. And somewhere out there, the other Stephen Strange is still hiding, putting his own plans into play.

3: summarize your current project poorly 

An author split up what should have been a single work into five separate stories because she wanted to fulfill Bingo cards in 2019, leading to a series that the readers are probably going to need to reread because there's so much detail in Fic 5 that calls back to stuff that happened in Fics 1-4. Fics 1-3 match the length of Fic 4, and Fic 5 is well over the length of Fics 1-4 combined, making for even poorer fic splitting choices. Whoops.

4: describe your favorite character or characters

I mean. Do I really need to? If you're on my blog you know who my faves are.

I guess quick summary as they are in the series in particular:

Stephen Strange: Has an enormous guilt complex that he's been working through a lot. He got better with the help of new friends. His work has endeared them to him quite a bit.

Wong: Has taken a leadership role, but not the title of Sorcerer Supreme for reasons not yet established to the readers. Carries his own secrets. Excellent poker face, but not emotionless.

Tony Stark: Has been blatantly ignoring the Accords ever since he went against Ross's back to find Steve in Siberia and has been continuing that trend since. Seeing the feds turn their eyes on Peter changed his opinion quite strongly. The Steve Issue is still difficult.

Other Strange: He thinks the Avengers and Masters of the Mystic Arts have failed their duties and that he can protect all of reality by himself. He just needs more power.

5: post a line from your current project without any context 

Closed my eyes and scrolled and went to a random page. This is what came up.

Oh, Jesus Christ. This explained so much about the man.

6: how do you get through writers block?

If it's not something health-related which just makes it physically very hard to work on items, I'll switch projects with my shorter fics. For a long fic like this, I'll put on a sprint and just power through 15 minutes at a time to get the harder bits out.

For health-related stuff (including mental), you sometimes just need to work on that first before you can be in the right space to write.

7: would you want to live in the world of your current work? 

Hell no. Superhero worlds are terrible for normal people.

8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline 

I write an outline with the main beats of what I want in that chapter. Then when I get to the actual chapter, I'll sometimes expand the outline with more detail in that chapter section itself. I often go back to the main outline and add new things as I come up with them, or switch around elements in the story to a new chapter. This is how the planned outline has grown from around 12 normal chapters and 1 interlude chapter to 18 normal chapters and 2 interlude chapters (with potential for more growth seeing as I'm getting into some areas that have original outlining that I no longer am certain I want to use as they were ideas from over 2 years ago and the story's evolved a lot since then).

9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?

So much plot. Rewriting a lot of the end of phase 3 to push my Found Family agenda. Fix it vibes, but I think it's a natural fix it arc from the canon drama that could have happened in canon if the Russos gave a damn. A lot of character exploration into their own separate journeys and growth arcs. Pretty accurate on Marvel tones with action, drama, a bit of snark and humor. An itty bitty dash of canon romance but we all know I'm including it only because it needs to be there due to the plot and character arc reasons and not because I'm all googly-eyed for the genre.

10: what song sums up your current work the best?

Each chapter in the series takes a song lyric from a specific song and I identify that song with the story pretty heavily. For instance, Illuminating the Shadows took "The Light" from Disturbed.

For Above the Shadows, it's "Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy (who I'm seeing live in concert in a couple days, yay).

Tagging those who I know are writing/trying to write: @mckiwi, @sobeautifullyobsessed, @burglarhobbit, @amethyst-noir. No obligation either way. Also if I didn't tag you please feel free to take this (and you can poke me here if you'd like as a reminder that you're still actively writing fic regardless of the fandom and I'll try to remember for these sorts of things).

[marengogo]

I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR THIS INTERRUPTION TO MY USUAL CONTENT 😌

I was gonna wait a bit longer, but with Hobi leaving tomorrow, I want to concentrate on that, and never have to bring this up after tonight, also I really did think it would all stop last week TBH

Wish I could have had a tête-a-tete with you, @mrs-monaghan, also sorry I tagged you but I am a nobody you don't know and I don't trust DMs, I've recently had one person disappear and because I trust people too much, I didn't SC convos, so I just thought, let me cut to the chase! but I was at work and as you so kindly pointed out, I need to focus when speaking to you, since you couldn't understood what I wrote in my reblog. Alas, english is not my first language, but we are going to make due, I am sure. Even without a translator, right? If not I'd suggest google, it is free and can work sometimes!

Speaking of free resources, the internet has a lot of them, such as dictionaries. Remember how I called you Ms Bla bla bla? Yeah, all that talking for a whole week yet, for the life of me, I coulnd't understand how you could keep misusing the word "bullying". It was just so jarring! Like Gurl! It's not that hard, no cap, I've held this in for like a week now, because I didn't know how to find the correct english words, but I think I have them now so I can finally let it out! Also I thought I'd start Monday with you not misusing that word anymore, but... I promise! Let me help, this is one of the few english words I know the meaning like the back of my hand!

BULLYING - seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable)

Definitions can be hard by themselves, I know learning english was a mission for me! So let me add examples:

If you ever talk about Tae I'll find you and i will break your fingers so bad, you won't be able to write a comment in your life

You worthless double-faced minion, shut the fuck up about Tae

You don't know what you are saying, take it back. You know you are wrong, you can't be thinking like that; there is no way you think you are right?

Does it make sense? If I, for example, decided to block some accounts which, for example, I know were hella double-faced, it was for me. Were any of the blocked told to change their minds? NO. Where they attacked be me explaining why they were blocked? NO. Would it be my fault trying to think about how every person on this planet could perceive my decision? NO. Feel however the fuck you want to feel, but if my mind perceives it to be toxic, I will not stay in toxicity, so I will not have you around me with that shit, is that so hard to understand? Like damn!

A conversation is had between 2 or more people, and believe it or not, people have the right to refuse to talk to you if they don't want to, and in your case you were ACTUALLY given a reason! WHAT MORE DO Y'ALL NEED? People are going to start WW3 with my decision how is that on me? Please. In the same way you, right now, can decide to reply to this post, not, to talk about me in your blog, WHATEVER, it is entirely up to you. Do you! And I can assure you I'll do me. keep going on and on and on and on and on and on misusing the word "bullying" I wont' stop caring because the relief I feel now that I've pointed out it's misuse; I'm ready to learn more english words!!

Tho, part of me would like to have a conversation with you, but I'm so concerned you will not understand anything I say so I can but feel sorry and apologetic. Whereas, on my side, I understood EVERYTHING you've said in your post the past week, and misuse of the word "bullying" aside, I swear it's been a minute since I've encountered someone whom has convinced themselves so hard that they are right, it is kinda scary. Last time it was in a K-drama named the Glory; Park Yeon-Jin. The verbal onslaught resemblance is uncanny if you haven't watched the glory you should, it's amazing!.

Anyways, I just wanted to correct the use of the word, for the rest you are entitled to your opinion so I don't care; definitions though are NOT opinions. I 👏🏾 CAN'T 👏🏾 STRESS 👏🏾 THAT 👏🏾 ENOUGH 👏🏾. Ayte? I'm sure you are well, I'm sure you've surrounded yourself with people you can trust why am I even saying this? Maybe I am being manipulated into saying this? Or maybe not? Which is it??..., so I don't need to wish you to stay healthy, which is correct english for "be well" right? Don't worry, if you ever reply to me, and whenever I reply to you cause to be fair I've had Anons waiting for months, and I am being unfair to them I promise my english will be better!

Always respectfully, and crassily not a word I know yours,

Marengo.

PS - feel free to call me whatever the fuck you want, but calling Megan the Stallion, Lizzo? What have they ever done to you? 👀 Like gurl ...

[chronic-invisibility]

All of 13rw was bad, and it should never have been made, or at least definitely not Like That, but the moral policing of suicide and suicidality on that show is really gross. Like in season 2, while Clay is clearly having a freakout at best and a full on break from reality at worst when he’s imagining Hannah is in his room, he tells her “you didn’t fucking care, or you never would have done it” and “you did an evil thing”, and I know this is him expressing his pain to a “ghost”, but that is such a horrible way to talk about such a sensitive subject. Suicide (almost always*) isn’t selfish, or evil, or “for attention”, or any of the other bullshit people who have never experienced pain to the point that they are suicidal say (especially on that show). Obviously I’m not saying it’s a good option, because it’s not, and overall mental health issues need to be taken more seriously in our society and the media, but framing it like that is awful. And it also shows me that the people that wrote the show, or at least that scene, knew nothing about mental health and didn’t listen to the professionals who they supposedly hired to help them make the show (although they made a lot of mistakes in not listening to professionals on that show, like A LOT). Nobody who has ever been in so much pain that they genuinely believe everyone would be better off without them and that they not only don’t want to be alive anymore but that they’re in enough pain to willingly try to end their life would ever write something like that, and it’s not something that should EVER be said to someone who is that miserable. When you make moral judgements about mental health issues, especially suicide, all you are doing is teaching the person who is struggling that they can’t trust you or come to you for help. If you frame suicide as an “evil” or “immoral” or “sinful” thing, you’re further demonizing an already highly misunderstood issue, and making the person who is suffering feel even worse, which, surprisingly (/s) will have the opposite effect of what you’re trying to do, which should be to get them help. Yes, suicide is a tragedy, and it’s not talked about or educated about enough, especially in younger people, but telling anyone (especially vulnerable young audiences) that it’s evil or that it means you don’t care about other people is cruel and pointless and foolish. Those writers have no fucking idea how hard it is to make yourself keep going when you’re in that much despair and pain, and they have no fucking idea how damaging it is to make statements like that. It is not selfish or evil to be in pain, it is not selfish or evil to be mentally ill, it is not selfish or evil to want your pain to end. There are much better ways to express your pain and try to ease or end your suffering than making an attempt on your life, but it is a real issue that people experience, and they don’t need to be made to feel even worse because you don’t understand that. If you actually want to help people that struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, ask them what they need, be there for them, help them find resources and professionals who can do more for them. Don’t say shit like this.

To anyone who reads this who has experienced pain like that, or who is experiencing it now, I just want to say: I am so sorry you are hurting, and I’m so sorry some people just don’t understand. You don’t deserve to feel like this, and I hope you make the choice to get help, because you deserve another chance in life. You are not evil or immoral or sinful or selfish or attention-seeking for feeling this way. Please, please, take this as a sign to stay, to get help, don’t listen to the people telling you you’re a bad person for feeling this way, and don’t listen to the feeling telling you to go. Send me a message here, or reach out to a friend or loved one, or a crisis line. I know it’s hard to see when you’re in the thick of it but this feeling won’t last forever, and while I unfortunately can’t promise a happy ending and no more pain forever, I know it will get easier if you put in the work to help yourself out of this dark place. I’ve done it several times, and you can, too.

(And to clarify on my statement that suicide is almost always not selfish or cruel, there is a very very small but still undeniable amount of people who do kill themselves for selfish reasons, like when someone who commits a heinous crime kills themself so they don’t have to take responsibility for what they did and face the consequences of their actions. Those people suck, and they give everyone else who is actually struggling with their mental health a bad rep. But if you’re not one of those few people, you’re not selfish or a bad person. I don’t care what anybody tells you.)

[incarnateirony]

i would rather be a person considered "violent" for the right cause, fighting the right fight,

than be a pissy little whiny empty, shallow threats manipulator like all of 2po's friends.

See, the second I outright said, I got a blade with his name on it after the doxxing and threats, he sent his little pearl clutchers at me about the violence. Conveniently, his pearl clutchers do not hold him, gayle, suzanne and the rest responsible for the REASON I have a blade in my pocket with their names on it, which was them threatening and doxxing people.

Because his trolls don't care. They're pissy little whiny, empty, vapid, shallow manipulators that don't believe a single point, they don't even really have these moral stances, or they'd be applied unilaterally, rather than getting a gimme gotcha. which is why that threat also worries them, because they know they're contributors. Cuz they KNOW I mean what I fuckin say, unlike them.

What it translates to, sending out his little goblins to try to manipulate convo like that, is 2po recognizes I am not fucking around and is actually fucking scared after all his threats, doxxing and manipulation, and he's trying to find some way he can be a victim to an aggressor, rather than someone more than ready to reflect their own behavior at them. And actually be real about it, because unlike them, I mean what I say.

And they realize that. So then the pearl clutchers come.

Again: I would rather be a person considered "violent" fighting for the right clause than vapid, empty cunts without moral or direction like these people are.

And if you're ~scared? UWUWUWUWUWUWU

stop fucking bothering me, it's not rocket science. Like jesus. Stay in your lane, stop threatening and doxxing people, stop lying about people, stop attacking this show, stop spewing delusional nonsense about it, stop trying to break into my server because you're desperate for senpai's attention, just fucking stop, and then there's no reason for anybody to find your address, ring your doorbell and dingdong beat the fuck out of you.

what i hate most about these people is they're so vile they bring out ugly parts in ME I didn't know. Never in my life have I found a community of people that are such vile wastes of planetary resources, and they act like this over a TV show. These people are so fucked up *I* start thinking shit like "Damn I wish someone had dropped her in a dumpster somewhere so we don't have to deal with it", and then I blink, because these people are SO FUCKED UP and SO INTENTIONAL in causing harm or trying to incite anger as their only real goal, I go, damn dude. The fuck, since when do we think like that?

Since we met 2po and watched him rip 60K out of this fandom with lies and horse shit while doxxing and threatening people, I guess.

Better watch out for your local dumpsters. I'm surprised nobody's disposed of you in them yet IRL if you act like this there, dude.

[avatarvyakara]

Encantubre: What It Means to Me

Tres: Tragedy

“Ay, Bruno,” murmurs Alma, “could you not try to give us a happier story?”

* * *

Julieta finds herself cataloguing weaknesses, not out of any desire to act upon them but in the hopes of diminishing them. Pepa can become too involved in things, feeling with all her heart. Bruno tends to back away from the point, then sink into self-caused loneliness—it’s getting worse as he grows older. Mamá has always been good at denial, Félix at being a little too blunt sometimes. Her Tino’s fatal flaw is a tendency to assume flaws won’t be fatal.

And Julieta’s? Well, if she’s flattering herself, she’d say a compulsive need to be over-prepared for the worst.

Unfortunately, she also sometimes stays a step or two back in terms of “How bad can this actually get?”

Because the encanto would stop the worst.

Right?

* * *

“She’s speaking out at her sister’s proposal,” sobs Pepa, while Bruno tucks a towel around her shoulders. “She risked everything on a single gambit, and it failed!”

“What? No!”

“I know! All that effort, and she—”

Surprisingly, when she reads stories which lead even the heavens to weep, Pepa always manages to keep the books dry.

* * *

“Seriously, Mamá,” insists Bruno, “it’s cathartic.”

“Brunito, how is it cathartic that Paola’s secret lover is actually her amnesiac uncle? In what possible universe is that cathartic?”

“…Mamá, for the love of God, do not, and I cannot stress this enough, ever visit Macondo.”

* * *

Everyone knows about Bruno’s stories. Not just his predictions, sure, everyone knows about those. But for people his age, Bruno’s stories are the clincher. When the prophet is actually out and about in town—less and less these days—he always carries a small, leather-bound notebook he got for his quinceañero. Occasionally some of the better ideas Bruno will submit to the village for production purposes; the rest he puts on himself with his pet rats.

Of course, that’s only one part of the entertainment. (Félix, personally, is a wizard at game shows.) But it’s the part that gains the most scrutiny around town, as villagers try to guess how much of his prophecies Bruno is trying to sneak in, and for whom they are intended.

After all, nobody particularly wants an unhappy ending. At least for themselves.

* * *

“You see, if everyone uses up a finite resource without proper management, the resource gets used up,” explains Agustín the amateur economist. “It could be literally anything—the air, the ocean, fertile land—but it needs checking up on and it needs some kind of regulation. You can’t use too much of it. Otherwise everyone starts getting less, maybe someone gets nothing at all, and then if someone takes too much the whole ‘commons’ just collapses.”

“Hmmmm,” says Señora Alma thoughtfully.

“Please pass the corn?” emphasizes Pepa.

* * *

“Plants die sometimes, mija,” soothes Mamá, as baby Isabela sniffles into her dress. “It’s not the end of the world.”

* * *

“So Luz is in love with Emilio, who favours Catalina, who can’t get married because her twin brother Carlos forbade her from doing so until he got married, only his fiancée ran away with a llama-herder—”

“Um, Dolores?” asks Mariano, raising a hand. “Just how does this relate to Manolo’s novia actually being his aunt who has amnesia?”

“We’re getting there, cariño. Now—”

“I can’t believe she actually remembered the plots!” squeals Tío Bruno to himself.

“I still can’t believe you trashed Dante’s character arc to make room for Joaquin!”

“Pepa, it’s been thirty-seven years—”

* * *

“—so if you all eat too much without making sure there’s time for it to grow back, you’re all going to be left with no grass,” finishes Luisa.

The donkeys stare at her. Then they look meaningfully at Antonio.

“I think they liked it!” he chirps. “I mean, Diana doesn’t think it’s possible—I…think? Something about ‘Self-matriculating dynamic resource infrastructure compartmentalization’. Whatever that means. But they think it’s a good argument for a first try.”

Luisa beams. “And how about you, cuz? What’s your side of things?”

Antonio shrugs. “I guess it makes sense. But it’s gonna be tough to explain to the fruit bats. They think it all grows on trees only for them.”

“Uh…doesn’t it?” asks Cecilio the mailman, scratching his head. “You know, grow on trees.”

“Not coconuts! They come from the sea, like fish!”

Cecilio and Luisa share a glance.

“I’m gonna tell him.”

“Don’t you dare.”

(Childhood innocence is a precious thing, and to be mourned terribly when lost.)

* * *

“Tell anyone about it and you’re very definitely dead.”

“It’s not such a big deal. So you’re sneaking Tía Pepa’s books by Candelario Obeso and reading them in the dark. So what?”

“It’s a reputation thing.”

“Camilo, it’s just poetry. It’s not going to eat you. Mariano does poetry and nobody gives him a hard time.”

“Actually this is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Obeso’s translation is still considered the best.”

“…huh. Any good?”

“I know every single inch of a church on the other side of the world and I still have no idea what’s going on.”

“…ah.”

* * *

Mirabel, for one, is utterly perplexed by the singing goats.

* * *

The adults try not to trouble Antonio with things.

He does appreciate it, for what it’s worth. He knows it’s not the easiest, being a Madrigal, and that they’ve all had to be strong—what they thought of as strong—for ten times as long as he’s been alive. But there are little cracks in the walls they put up, and through them comes a certain kind of dark thought that honestly he wishes he never knew about.

He knows Abuela still cries for Abuelo at night. He knows Tía Julieta is worried sick about not being able to make as much food as she used to, and what that does to everyone. He knows Mami sometimes gets in a horrible funk, and it’s all Papi can do to keep her upright. He knows Tío Bruno still flinches in full daylight, or whenever someone outside the family calls his name. He knows about Dolores trying to deal with the hurt done by everyone in the village to one another, Isabela choking on the roses she’s had to make, Luisa breaking down when she wasn’t strong enough, Camilo fearing his powers make him into a monster, Mirabel being terrified that her lack of powers—at least the lack of powers she thought she had—could hurt him, hurt the family.

What strikes Antonio is that none of these things are short-term. There was something that started it off, sure, but the real sadness came in when his family, each in their own way, realized that this was their life now. In a way, a part of them gave up searching for something better. That’s the worst of it, really—if any of Antonio’s animal friends did that, he’d be worried sick that they just would give up and…and die. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, but it had to be this way, so they’d just have to deal with it.

With the Animals, the stories are surprisingly similar. (Parce still gets nightmare about pelts.) But they have hope in him, their human friend who can understand them and, they say, make the room so much brighter. Just like he’s always wanted to do.

When his greediness caused Casita to fall down, he thought his animal friends thought him to be as good as dead.

But the thing about plays like that is that there’s always a chorus. And Mirabel’s chorus—at least that’s what Camilo tells him—is the thing that got them back their house.

(The absolute worst of it is, if he’d just been a little older, maybe he wouldn’t have collapsed Casita in the first place.)

[clownflower]

Transcript of above link: It’s wild when you realize that nobody can actually articulate a reason why Israel should be supported that is both logically coherent and morally defensible.

Westerners grow up being indoctrinated with the understanding that this tiny country in the middle east is super duper important and needs to be supported and defended at all cost, but if you examine the reasons given for why this is so as an adult, you find that none of them really hold water.

“Israel is the only place where Jews can be safe!” This is clearly false. A Jewish person in New York City is self-evidently much, much safer than a Jewish person in Tel Aviv. Forcefully creating a brand new apartheid ethnostate dropped on top of a pre-existing civilization naturally means that Israel can only ever exist in perpetual violence, which places everyone who lives there in danger.

“The Jews deserve a homeland!” Why? Why does any religion deserve to have a country of their own where members of that religion are in charge of everyone else and receive preferential treatment? There are more Mormons in the world than Jews, and they don’t have their own country. There are more Sikhs in the world than Jews, and they don’t have their own country. There’s no logically coherent reason why every religion should have its own nation state, and there’s no logically coherent reason why such a principle should apply to Jews but not to Scientologists.

“Israel is the only liberal democracy in the middle east.” This one’s just silly. A genocidal apartheid regime which actively disenfranchises and abuses the Palestinian population is the exact opposite of “liberal” and “democratic”. But even if that was not the case, there is no logically coherent and morally defensible reason why any given religion should have a representative of a particular political ideology in it, no matter how many people need to be murdered and oppressed to make it so.

“I support Israel’s existence but I oppose the mistreatment of Palestinians.” This one is quite popular with the liberals, but it’s nonsensical and self-contradictory. Israel has been abusive to Palestinians throughout the entirety of its existence from its very inception; only in the imaginary fairy tales of liberal Zionists has it ever existed without tyranny, theft and murder, and only in their imaginary fairy tales can a Jewish ethnostate be dropped on top of a civilization of non-Jews in a way that could ever be without nonstop tyranny, theft and murder. The only choices are a two-state solution which Israel is openly doing everything it can to prevent, and a one-state solution where everyone has equal rights which would per definition not be a Jewish state. Liberal Zionists pretend they live in a fairy fantasyland alternate timeline where this is not the reality. This is how liberals try to square the circle of supporting Israel when it’s morally indefensible; they simply invent an imaginary world in which it is moral, and pretend it’s a real possibility.

“Israel is essential for protecting our interests in the region.” This one is logically coherent from a certain point of view, but it’s certainly not morally defensible. There’s not even any logically coherent reason for any normal westerner to say that Israel protects “our” interests in the middle east. It is only logically coherent for the managers of the western empire to say that helping Israel wage the nonstop violent force necessary for its existence helps sow the chaos, tyranny, destabilization and division necessary to ensure their geostrategic domination of a resource-rich region and keep middle eastern nations from uniting into a superpower bloc who use their resources to advance their own interests around the world. Contrary to what some people believe, Israel isn’t responsible for the existence of western warmongering — western warmongering is responsible for the existence of Israel. If there wasn’t an Israel they’d just invent another excuse to maintain a military presence in the middle east and keep sowing violence and chaos. Biden himself has acknowledged this, saying “Were there not an Israel the United States would have to invent an Israel to protect her interests in the region.” So from that perspective it does make logical sense to say that the western empire would have a harder time advancing its unipolarist objectives on the world stage without a destabilizing agent whose existence is wholly dependent upon constant western backing. And if you really want to go whole hog in siding with the imperialists’ reasoning for supporting Israel, you can also argue that Israel provides the perfect narrative cover for maintaining a military presence in the middle east. For many years the final debate-ending argument against western military withdrawal from the middle east has been that it would ensure Israel’s destruction, because Israel’s neighbors would simply eliminate it without the deterrence of the US war machine there to protect it. And if you take it as a given that Israel must continue to exist in its present iteration, it really is a debate-ending argument. If you take it as a given that Israel must be permitted to exist as an apartheid ethnostate which was artificially forced into existence in the mid-20th century, then of course there is no way it can exist without nonstop violence, and of course there is no way it can come out on the winning side of all that violence without the backing of the US-centralized empire. What this means is that if you accept that Israel must continue to exist as it presently exists, you are necessarily accepting that the US and its western allies must retain a military stranglehold on the middle east. There is no way to maintain this artificially created astroturf state without nonstop violence, so you have to remain in a position to help inflict that violence at all times. Which is mighty convenient for the US-centralized power structure, to say the least.

But it is, of course, not morally defensible. It is not morally defensible to keep killing middle easterners year after year, decade after decade, in order to rule the world. It might be logically coherent, but it is also profoundly evil. All arguments for supporting Israel fail either logically, morally, or both. Which is why so much propaganda goes into manipulating us into supporting this murderous regime, and why voices who oppose it are getting increasingly suppressed by establishment power structures. It’s why the mass media have been demonstrably wildly biased toward the advancement of Israeli information interests in their reporting, and it’s why critics of Israeli atrocities like Richard Medhurst, Sarah Wilkinson and Mary Kostakidis have been outrageously persecuted in the UK and Australia. They have no argument, so they are increasingly resorting to the blunt instrument. When you peel away the layers, the arguments for keeping the Israel project going are all about domination and control, which is why more and more domination and control is being used to protect that project from scrutiny. Israel, ultimately, is nothing but a nonstop war. And, like all wars, its existence depends on hiding the truth from the public.

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

On Metas, Specs, and Creativity

There's an incorrect argument that if you create a system like that of WoW where you can specialize in various directions with a spiffy skill tree, players will immediately work out the mathematically optimal output from said tree and nobody will be creative or play out their personal power fantasy using said tree; Instead, everyone will look up The Build online and just use that.

This is a valid concern to have, but it's not true.

Like, literally: We know it's not true. Most people - indeed, an enormous majority of MMO players - don't give a shit about "optimal play." You can look at the achievement listings for Heroic tiers of dungeons in WoW, or how many FFXIV players clear even the Extreme trials, and find that most people don't bother with them.

What's actually happening is that the people who are deep enough into the game that they're talking on a forum about the game between sessions of playing the game care a great deal about optimal play, and assume everyone else is like them.

Now, this doesn't mean introducing creativity into your game is without flaws.

You can see gradations in M:tG or City of Heroes (heavy creativity of build), WoW (moderate creativity of build), and FFXIV (low creativity of build) and how these play out in what content works and how it works.

In a game with low creativity of build, the players are consistently clamoring for new jobs and game modes so they can try out new options. But I do admit this mode has worked well for FFXIV. They can release things on a clear schedule and their time savings get to double-dip: They save time making a bunch of options for players and trying to balance all the janky combinations of options the players select from what they offer.

In a game with moderate creativity of build there's maybe an order of magnitude more work, and as I said on the "savings" end for FFXIV this applies to both making the cool skill tree in the first place but also in trying to make all the possible specs even in the same ballpark when it comes to power. And if they're not - if an enormous majority aren't viable even in regular gameplay - the choice is illusory, right? Incidentally, this is where the "everyone does the meta build" lie comes in. Because there's actually a lot of variance between the difficulty of doing regular quests for regular NPCs or even regular dungeon content, and trying to handle top-end raids. In the former, I played one of the weakest specs of the weakest class at the time, and only once (in a dungeon where, as a tank, I couldn't hold aggro because my solo-focused spec was bad at that) did I get any flak for it. I had a blast for 99% of my gameplay experience as a "bad" class. But for that upper end, the mathemagicians aren't generally wrong about which classes are bad. If you come in with a poorly-considered spec you're potentially wasting hours of others' time. The real problem is WoW, having already spent the resources on making the extra content that enables creativity, isn't willing to do the exponentially more work of balancing all the possible outputs of that creativity.

Where does it end? Well, looking at City of Heroes, you can have a system where the top end is about story rather than challenge, I suppose. The issue is that doesn't hold players well; Arguably this "lack of a real endgame" is part of what led to CoH's original demise. But also, this stratifies your community without their knowledge/intent. Players who are even sorta-kinda better than average at making characters with a mathematical advantage are going to be doing more powerful content more quickly. Those who absolutely twink out their builds will be ready for endgame trials almost immediately. Those who hardly understand the enhancement system will struggle to clear regular content at level -1, which in turn means their basic leveling experience will be slower. City of Heroes attempted to solve this problem by making ways for vastly different-powered characters to empower or disempower themselves to engage with each other's content. I think with a better matchmaking system this might have worked out, tbh, but the issue of resistances and AoE value at high levels became insurmountable with the way their design philosophy worked. Some other direction might have fixed it, but in my opinion nothing they had felt like a true fix.

M:tG players have a similar system, and there a couple meta decks really do begin to emerge; While there are literally billions or more of ways to set up a legal M:tG deck, in a given expansion there are just a few collections of the cards that rise above the pack (pun actually not intended for once) in efficiency and interconnected synergy to make for solutions to the puzzle of deckbuilding that tend to outperform the rest. There are a lot of possible decks, but some will just win more often. And when that's a known fact, it's hard to ask players not to win as often in order to enjoy the thrill of creativity. Game modes like the booster draft format can prevent people from leaning as heavily on The Meta, but it still looms over proceedings.

[sudenlehto]

My experience with healing and developing the kind of self-compassion that allows me see where I'm being given less than the bare minimum, - often feels like growing out of a glass box.

You grow, but the glass breaks and the shards wound you. The price of wanting better is being reminded that indeed, you settled into a small glass box before, and therefore growing into a bigger version of yourself will remind you of this.

By this I mean the people in your life who, even if they've been good and supportive with you in many situations, - don't really exhibit the qualities of someone who could be truly close with you.

I mean people who have not yet unpacked the cruelty towards themselves, who still find it silly when someone grows out of the same mentality. I was just like that, and can still be like that in some life areas. I remember being younger and telling a fellow autistic person they're asking too much by asking their friend to stop perpetuating dehumanizing caricatures/stereotypes of autistic folk, because I was used to just taking plain open transphobia and ableism to my face without complaint, to not get abandoned by others. To me, tolerating bigotry towards myself was just how life was and I wasn't allowed to complain. The price of complaining was humiliation and being told I'm asking too much, and I had internalized this.

My words to that other autistic person were still cruel. I was wrong. That person just wanted their friend to have basic, bare minimum level of respect for themselves. I found it silly, and like it's asking too much, because I had never gotten even the bare minimum in my whole life. I could not envision this kind of thing in social relationships.

Similiarly, now that I'm growing to be the person who draws a really hard line to certain things, and has actual experience of what being truly listened to, respected and understood feels like, - this including people in my life committing to unlearning bigotries towards various marginalized identities of mine (and I'll do the same work with myself for their sake because I want them to be safe with me), - I am discovering how many people just can't do the work.

Their reaction to hearing of a wrong that seems too petty for them, is to mock it, to even rub it to my face a little bit, how much I need to just "take it", even if they're somewhat compassionate about it.

Because I've began growing out of my glass box, these moments I was formerly desensitized to, now make me very emotional. I feel hurt and betrayal, I feel the slight in them, because I remember what it felt like to share this with someone who was truly supportive.

It sucks to realize some friends go from friends to acquaintances you regard similiarly as a grandparent who you love but who is also toxic and homophobic and won't change. A part of their worldview will always dehumanize with you and view it as a personal attack that you ever stand up for yourself. They feel like you're the nuisance and the burden for wanting anything different.

You can't force people to change, or force their formation of opinions or worldviews. Everyone in this life comes to hurt another. Nobody is perfect. Everyone is triggering for someone. I have compassion for that these people are just in that kind of part of their own journey, but for my own good, I need to admit some folks are just toxic to me.

For my truth and integrity, their views and attitudes feel violating. I am not a bigger person than this. This hurts me. I will no longer deny my hurt, like I did for my whole lifetime. If a friend's reaction to my pain about dehumanizing tropes that were repeatedly used to abuse me is to make fun of it, that friend is cruel, and doesn't respect me.

This work to undo my desensitization has restored me to be more in touch with my emotions than I've ever been. I literally use testosterone HRT which is stereotyped for how little you'd cry on it, but this emotional work with myself has actually made me more prone to tears than I've ever been back when I had PMS. I get moved to tears by little things, I feel emotionally vibrant, - and that includes feeling hurt and angry to the fullest scale too.

It's beautiful to finally be present and able to feel my emotions so vibrantly, outside of just mind-numbing bitterness and rage or terrified fawning, my typical default states...

It's just that this sensitive, true and beautiful person needs to be treated with a certain level of kindness and protection.

I can not change others, but I can change how I encage with them, or whether I encage at all actually.

A boundary is something you say you won't do. "You keep doing that and I won't stay here in this room with you."

A rule is telling others what to do."Do not talk about banana peels in my presence."

Making boundaries is stuff like... - Never staying in conversations where the other person starts verbally abusing you - Never encaging with people on topics they have shitty and hurtful views about because this gives them a chance to hurt you. - Not arguing with assholes. Instead, not giving them a time of your day.

In this world, especially when multiply marginalized, your dehumanization is everywhere, behind every corner. Repeated bigger and smaller traumas over the same shit happen simply because you refuse to give up on life and encage with society. Sometimes the PTSD anger makes it hard to make good decisions. Sometimes it feels like you're forced to fight, to get justice, to win yourself back from someone else. But often the damage you'll suffer from being punished and victim-blamed is even worse than the initial offense, and not worth the fight.

It's a heartbreak, because it's repeated losses of people who were truly bright stars in your sky, to them being assholes and unwilling to work on it. If you feel stupid and belittled for even kindly bringing up a problem, that's a red flag.

Your only option remains kindness and love with boundaries.

By this I mean, especially kindness for yourself. You need to create your own bubble where you thrive. You get to be exclusive with who belongs to your more personal sphere. With CPTSD it's hard to have "layers" of social relations, as we kind of fall in love with even strangers for being kind of nice to us and stuff... Or worse, we mistake our terrified fawning for 'love'.

Yes, you can be in community with the people who are well-meaning but harbor a couple of toxic views here and there. But it's very different to be friends than acquaintances with someone.

You can have your broader sphere of people where you also navigate the people who are sometimes difficult. Maybe these people, too, are in different tiers, - some are ones you avoid unless mandatory to interact some way, some are people whose company you seek occasionally and others are those fair-weather-buddies you don't really take your mask off for.

With my all-or-nothing thinking stemming from this angry part of my healing journey, it's easy to forget this, and fully obliterate your relations with some people you simply just needed clearer boundaries with.

Your more personal sphere of people are the ones you are letting into your thriving and love bubble. With CPTSD it's such a difficult concept that there can be things that are yours, which exist so that you can have your needs met. That's something healthy people naturally know to cultivate. For us CPTSD havers it's a struggle to conceptualize we too can create our exclusive, personal bubbles we get to be selective with.

These bubbles are our source of strength and joy. They are our sanctuary. Only the people who truly listen to and respect us are welcome here. Being here is a priviledge of the few, one that can be revoked too.

Without my own bubble, or remembering I should be gardering and cultivating it, - I'm just an angry, resentful mess who feels that I'm forced to fight people, because I can't make the choice to close my world away from them. I'm constanty angry, always at war with everyone, feeling in my bones how I can not escape the evil projections casted on me to justify my dehumanization and mistreatment. It makes me feel claustrophobic, like a trapped animal that wants to kill and destroy, kill and destroy....

It's a constant stabbing and exhausting pain to have mind-numbing anger bigger than this body, because I want control, because I want JUSTICE, because I want to "teach a lesson". I'm a nightmare that wants to kill, a nightmare that wants to crush your skull to the wall, and drown your annoying friend into the nearest water sink like he fucking deserves, - in my homicidal ideation, that is.

It doesn't represent my values or real opinions.

TL;DR; When you grow to care for yourself better, you'll realize some people are more toxic than you thought. Sometimes you realize you're no longer compatible.

Disappointments, loss, betrayal and grief are always on their way. Sometimes it feels like asking for even the bare minimum is almost like asking to be punished, - with the wrong people in your personal inner circle, that is.

The anger can sometimes consume you. You can't escape the source of it because you exist in a society.

The solution is letting go. Making your own personal bubble that exists as your sanctuary, to get your needs met, and that you only choose the people for that make you feel genuinely safe, listened to and accepted. You need this source of love, kindness, strength and joy.

The love will be greater than the hate. It'll make you a stronger, more resourceful person.

[hamstermastersamster]

I finished Oddworld: Soulstorm without 5 of the very last mudokons saved because of what I will very generously call a game design dick move.

Probably the best way I can describe how I feel about this game is what I said to my dad, who watched me play/helped solved puzzles/provided emotional breakdown support: "I really want to like this game, but it's trying VERY hard to convince me not to"

We both loved the original Abe games on the PS1, and I love Abe and the mudokons and the general aesthetic of Oddworld and the IDEAS in this game, but Soulstorm is a mess of glitches and bad, incredibly tedious game design that has no respect for a player's time or patience.

I'm . . . glad I played it. I guess. For the story, which I enjoyed despite a damp squib of an ending, and those rare parts of the game where the difficulty was pure clever puzzle and solving it was fun and interesting. But the end game level select can go screw itself because there's no way I'm ever playing it again :')

Some of its cardinal sins include:

Constantly mistaking bad game design and the tedium of redoing shit for 'difficult' and 'challenge'

Bad checkpoint placement and mechanics/no manual save, forcing you to repeat tedious shit like crafting and looting over and over again when you die. Would have been easily solved by putting checkpoints AFTER loot containers and before a challenge, or allowing us to manually reactivate a checkpoint ourselves, but noooo. Some areas have checkpoints every 2 seconds, some have 1 either end of 10 potential causes of death. There's no consistency and it sucks

No saves means that if you fuck up a level (or the game fucks it up for you with glitches, which I experienced multiple times on the PS4), you have to restart it from scratch. What fun.

"but the levels are designed to be replayed-" SHUT UP SHUT UP, nobody wants to play cheap, cruel, tedious sections of gameplay over and over again

Sluggish, unresponsive controls paired with challenges that require very rapid, precise actions

Slow, janky animation lock-ins that make everything take soooo long to do. Looting a locker, healing a mudokon, the pauses and delays you have to acccount for when you get up from a ledge or jump onto a ladder or turn a wheel or get up from a crouch because you can't just jump straight from a crouch or URGHHHHHHH everything just takes SO FUCKING LONG. Even all the quirky characters in the cutscenes, while charming in that Oddworld way, talk SO SLOWLY arghhhh

Erratic enemy and mudokon AI. This entire game is an escort mission, and you gave the escorts bad AI. That says it all! At least the Lemmings were predictable. They'd do what I told them to do. Half the time, I’m not sure the mudokons even WANT to live, quite frankly.

Prolific use of bad faith game design dick moves that all but force you to replay the entire level if you want to get 100% - like:  - making secret areas invisible until you've already gone past them and can't go back!  - Hiding sick mudokons behind foreground scenery but the only way to find them is to stand still for a few seconds on the right spot waiting for the 'heal' command to pop up!  - Teaching the player how to play the game through consistent patterns of behaviour and level scenarios, and then breaking those patterns when you feel like being a game dev dick! For example, NOT putting a directional indicator on an elevator to show it can go backwards as well as forwards, when every other elevator before has done this! Or requiring the player to save resources to open a door on the very last section of the very last level to save the last 5 secret mudokons, when this has NEVER BEEN REQUIRED BEFORE IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE GAME - fuck you fuck you fuck you I ALMOST had 100%!

You're telling me that "final battle" was actually playtested by real human beings, and nobody who tested it said "this is really fucking boring"? Seriously?

Who am I kidding lol, nobody playtested this game. It’s just not possible.

Literally zero accessibility options on the controls. You can't even remap them, let alone do basic things like set a sustained action to toggle instead of a button hold. That should be a frickin' crime in this day and age. It left me feeling extra grumpy thanks to the hand pain after some sections of the game where I had to hold stealth down for a long period of time

I can see there are meant to be more games. Nooot honestly sure if I would touch them with a ten-foot bargepole, though. Sorry, Abe :(